#how do some of you manage to beat the game so damn fast

[neattnat]

Opposite side of the age spectrum alliance!

[jellys-compendium]

Plant Heat Headcanons

Millions Knives Edition

Rating: Explicit (18+ only, Minors DNI)

Pairing: Knives x F!Reader Cw: smut, heat cycles/plant heat, overstimulation, dacryphilia, p in v sex, vaginal fingering, creampie, breeding, orgasm control/denial, possessive and obsessive behaviour, dominance & submission, degradation, grinding, some religious symbolism (in Trimax Knives' portion). Word Count: ~3K A/n: A lovely person inquired about some Plant Heat Headcanons for Knives on my AO3 account. I was inspired, so here they are! Hope you enjoy them! 💜

Prefer to read on AO3?

Tristamp Knives

He is very aware of his heat and knows precisely what to expect and how to counteract it. Despite the physical symptoms that he suffers, Tristamp Knives only views this biological cycle of his as a minor inconvenience. He had always been prepared for it, overcoming the intense urges of his body with sheer willpower alone. Willpower alone had always been enough…until you came along.

Similar to Tristamp Vash’s heat, Tristamp Knives’ heat is also quite physically intense. His body aches and heats up to the point of fever. His razor sharp mind becomes slow and sluggish—obsessed and plagued with impulsive thoughts of grabbing you, ripping your clothes off, and pounding into your sweet cunt until you cry. He doesn’t quite care if he ends up doing it in front of an audience either.

Tristamp Knives’ plant markings glow exponentially brighter during this time, his fangs elongating to sharp points as his senses heighten. You become like a beacon of desire to him in this state. Tristamp Knives can sense your every breath, hear each beat of your heart, and smell the arousal that drips between your legs even across a distance. It’s infuriating for the prideful plant. It’s as if your lewd and tantalizing body were calling out to him—mocking him for his foolish attempts to control himself.

Eventually, Tristamp Knives does give in to his urges, but he holds fast and so desperately to that illusion of self-control. He dominates you physically and mentally, lording his strength, power, and superiority over you even if he’s the one moaning as he sinks his cock inside your tight walls.

Tristamp Knives’ stamina is unmatched. He can bring you to the brink of orgasm, only to then deny you and repeat the process. Tristamp Knives will do this over and over again until he has you sobbing and pathetically begging for release. He is in control. Not you, and not his heat. You will be the one praying to him, not the other way around.

I should also mention that Tristamp Knives’ cum and saliva acts like an aphrodisiac. This helps his partner keep up with him, but Tristamp Knives also uses this property of his fluids to torture, tease and taunt you. “Coming from just a little kiss? What a depraved little slut you are.”

Tristamp Knives’ iron will to stay in control is formidable, but it is not absolute. You can break him—forcing him to submit to his feral urges if you play your cards right. Put on a little show for him. Tease him by lewdly touching yourself, salaciously cry out your pleasure with rapture, fuck yourself shamelessly on his throbbing dick while chanting your devotion to him. If you can manage to rile up this control freak of a plant well enough, you’ll find yourself pinned to the nearest hard surface before you can blink. At that point all you’ll hear is Tristamp Knives’ feral growls in your ear before he starts to fuck you so hard you nearly pass out.

It’s a dangerous game that you’ve decided to play, but you’ll be damned if you’ll allow Knives to have free reign over every little part of you for a moment longer.

Yes, he is stronger, smarter, faster and infinitely more powerful than you--but at this very moment, as Knives denies you your orgasm for the third time in a row, you decide that those facts don’t matter. You have a hold over him too. A power so profound that he desperately tries to deny and curtail it, forcing you to submit and take what he gives you in an effort to hide his secret vulnerability.

No more. You’ll expose that nerve and grind it to dust.

Knives chuckles darkly as he removes his glistening fingers from your twitching cunt, plant markings pulsing an angelic blue as he pops his fingers into his mouth and savors your taste. 

“Couldn’t come in time, pet?” Knives taunts, those white fangs of his glistening as he elegently licks his fingers clean. 

“Pathetic.”

Your body is covered in sweat—exhausted and aching—but somehow you manage to muster your strength and reach forward to claw at Knives hips. The plant’s eyes widen with surprise, his breath leaving him in a choked gasp as you bury your fingernails into his flesh and swiftly pull his hips to yours. Knives moans, his hands slamming against the mattress on either side of your head, steadying himself while you bury his cock to the hilt in your eager pussy.

The ecstasy that flows through your body is unparalleled, and you mewl with abandon, arching against Knives’ burning skin as you come around his cock—hips grinding obscenely against his hardened flesh as your cunt milks him hungrily.

“Want you.” You gasp, breathless and delirious. Your gaze captures his own as your body rides out your orgasm sensually beneath him. Beckoning him. Breaking him.

“Please,” You whimper, body arching so that your lips brush sweetly against his perfect, pink mouth. 

“I want you, Nai.” You breathe against his lips. “I want you more than anyone else. I’m at the end of my rope, I’m aching for you. Please, fuck me. Please, please, please!!”

Knives is motionless above you, his eyes and body bathing your own in that ethereal blue glow. A moment of silence passes between the two of you, gazes locked in silent battle as your panting breaths fill the air.

Then a devious grin spreads across Knives’ face. The sight sends intoxicating shivers of anticipation down your spine. Like a predator, Knives leans down and whispers a dark and sensual promise in your ear.

“You want me, pet? Fine. Then I’ll give you everything you asked for.”

98 Knives

This stubborn plant tries to ignore his heat. 98 Knives is in complete denial and is the biggest brat about this biological cycle. He’s flushed? You’re seeing things. Had he been staring at you for too long? Only because he can't believe how ugly you are! Is he hard? Why the hell are you looking at his junk in the first place, pervert!?

Completely opposite to 98 Vash, 98 Knives tries his damndest to avoid you during his heat. On the surface, he wants nothing to do with you during this time and will actively leave the room whenever you enter. If you manage to touch him unguarded however, you swear you can hear him purr sensually under his breath.

Compared to his other counterparts, 98 Knives doesn’t go through the same physical changes during his heats. No fangs or distorted wings or glowing marks. However, 98 Knives is just as affected in terms of his sexual drive and he is in a constant state of horniness. He’s also super pissed about it.

98 Knives angrily jacks off every moment alone he can spare. It never fully relieves him though, and for the most part it only riles him up even more. 98 Knives’ head is always swimming with thoughts of you—both unbelievably aroused and severely irritated. How dare you cloud his mind like this? How dare you make his cock so hard? How dare you make him want you?

When he does finally submit to his heat, 98 Knives becomes the bossiest and brattiest little pillow princesses. This whining plant makes you do all the work while also growling his demands of what he wants from you through clenched teeth.

But rest assured, when you manage to edge 98 Knives just right—hitting that sweet spot of his with perfect precision—oh can you make that plant sing.

Knives groans, gritting his teeth as he arches beneath your hips. Those beautiful blue eyes of his squeeze tightly shut as he curses you under his breath. 

Ignoring his insult, your eyes linger on the straining muscles of Knives’ neck as he pathetically thrusts his cock against you. His leaking and throbbing glands just barely manages to breach the tight entrance of your pussy despite his best efforts.

“E-enough.” Knives rasps, fingernails scratching at the meat of your thighs—childish and demanding. Those wild eyes of his open again, pegging you with a petulant glare.

“Hurry up and sit on my cock, you idiot!”

Ah. He’s near his breaking point.

“Hmm, and what if I don’t? What if I leave you here aching and unsatisfied? It would be exactly what a brat like you deserves.”

The rage that flashes in Knives’ eyes lasts only a second. Quick as a flash you raise your hips, letting Knives’ cock slip from the warmth of your cunt. He growls, utterly livid as his dick lands pathetically on his navel with a wet slap. 

But before the tantruming plant can retaliate, you sit on his cock, harshly grinding your slick folds up and down his entire length. The breath explodes out of Knives’ lunges, as you grind your pussy along his length and his next words leave him with a pathetic whine.

“Th-that's not what I meant you disgusting, brutish—aaaahhhhh!”

You press your weight against his frenulum, grinding your clit mercilessly against that most sensitive spot of his—breaking him down piece by piece and smiling with satisfaction as Knives melts in your hands like butter.

He's such a whiny little thing.

The plant’s hips start to piston, his whimpering mewls now uncontrollable as he starts to grind against your sex. Knives' blue eyes glass over with lust as he stares at you with a mixture of hatred and need. Right now, you are at the epicenter of his world, and he hates that.

“Beg me,” You whisper teasingly with a smile. “Beg me to fuck you. Do it nicely and I’ll give you what you want.”

Knives’ teeth clench, his expression a conflicted storm. But in the end, the plant's lustful need supersedes his pride. Releasing a huff of air, Millions Knives swallows and then whispers oh so sweetly.

“Fuck me, pet. Please.”

Trimax Knives

Trimax Knives regards the period of his heat with virulent disdain. To him it is a primitive mechanism of survival derived from the disgusting remnants of the human DNA that poisons his every cell. Among many things, Trimax Knives detests his heat.

Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) for you however, your touch he does not detest.

Similar to his brother, Trimax Knives also goes through a lot of physical changes and a significant amount of pain during his heat. At the peak of his heat, razor sharp, almost crystalline wings involuntarily tear outwards from beneath his skin. His eyes glass over to a milky bluish white, and his fangs practically double in size. Each fang is razor sharp, easily capable of tearing anyone limb from limb. Trimax Knives is exceptionally beautiful in this form, but he is also dangerously aggressive.

Trimax Knives is possessive, and obsessive on a good day. In the midst of his heat however? Those tendencies of his magnify tenfold. Once his heat hits, the vastness of Knives’ mind becomes singularly fixated on you. Your scent, your soft skin, the sound of your voice, the beating of your heart. Every aspect of you is impossible for Knives to ignore. He wants to claim you, mark you, and fuck you until you are begging for mercy.

The compulsive and feverish thoughts of breeding you—of mating with you so thoroughly and completely that he gets you pregnant—nearly drives Trimax Knives to the brink of insanity. It’s not necessarily because he wants offspring (honestly even if you’re incapable of such a thing he couldn’t care less), it’s more so because Trimax Knives is so madly possessive of you that he wants no doubt in anyone’s mind exactly who you belong to.

Woe is any idiot who decides to breathe the same air as you (let alone touch you) while Knives is in the throes of his heat. People have been maimed, and several of the Gung-Ho Guns have the scars and the psychological damage to prove it.

Also similar to Trimax Vash, Trimax Knives’ heat is slow to build but quick to peak. You will see the warning signs before the full force of his heat hits, and when it does, it’s like a storm of biblical proportions.

When mating with you, Trimax Knives comes quickly and abundantly. His refractory period is short though, and this man will have you coming on his cock over and over and over again, pumping you full of load after load with each round. Trimax Knives takes what he wants, having little regard for your tearful cries for mercy from being sore and overstimulated. He knows your breaking point, and despite the feral state he is in, he will never cross that line. Instead, Trimax Knives balances you perfectly on that edge, watching you come undone beneath him time and time again with blissful satisfaction.

The urge to nest is intense for Trimax Knives during his heat, although he’s not exactly one to build a comfy place for you. Trimax Knives is more interested in finding a safe place over which he has full control. An isolated space where no one either than himself has access to you. This is where you will experience the full force of his heat.

Trimax Knives will also very strangely take good care of you during the entire period of his heat. In spite of the physical exhaustion you will endure, you will be fed, given water, and held tenderly. It’s in Knives’ silent actions where you can truly see how much he cares for you.

You awaken from your deep slumber. Eyes bleary and clouded as they open. Your vision finds the faintest of light above you, and you focus on it until your senses sharpen. 

Once your vision returns you look around. A thick layer of crystallized, shimmering glass is spread beneath your aching body. It looks cold to the touch but it is strangely…warm. As if it were a living, breathing thing cradling you, comforting you, and protecting you.

You shift and in that moment you realize that you’re still connected to something. Heated skin shifts with you and a soft groan sounds in your ear. Turning your head, you look over your shoulder. Memories of the last few days slowly snap into place like puzzle pieces. Knives lays behind you, his alien and unreadable stare fixated on you.

A burning throb commands your attention. You look down, and it’s at this point you realize that Knives’ cock is still buried deep inside you—the evidence of his dizzying girth a demanding pressure between your hips.

“Don’t move,” Knives commands. 

He twitches again inside you and the pressure increases. You mewl at the pleasurable ache. He's still coming.

“Knives…” 

The raspy tone of your voice does not escape the plant’s notice. He tsks, attention turning to something just beyond your reach. His powerful arm snakes past your line of vision, and then returns with a flask of water clutched in his hand. You watch, parched and mesmerized as Knives brings the flask to his perfect, pink lips and pours.

His Adam's apple bobs deliciously as he takes the water into his mouth. After two gulps Knives places down the flask and reaches for you, his fingers grasping your chin. Your mouth opens instinctively, like a baby bird desperate for nourishment, as he leans down and seals his lips with yours.

You whimper, lapping up every precious drop that you can from Knives’ mouth while his tongue glides sensually along your own. The kiss is cut short however, leaving you licking at the little remnants of water left behind. Knives smirks, then from his hand he produces a slice of apple.

“Eat.” He commands.

So you do. Obediently, you take the apple slice from his fingers, wet tongue kittenishly and shyly touching the tips of his fingers as you receive your blessing. Knives hums his approval, his gaze possessive and intense as his thumb gently glides over your bottom lip as you chew. 

The exchange is powerful. Primal. Like a god of creation, Knives institutes himself as the source of life. Of your life. From his lips you drink, from his hand you eat, and from his cock you are filled with euphoric purpose.

“Are you satisfied?” Knives’ purring rumble echoes like an ancient melody upon the crystal glass.

You nod, and no sooner do you show your satisfaction does Knives turn the both of you. His body remains flush against yours as you are maneuvered from your side and onto your hands and knees like an animal. Your face and breasts press firmly against the makeshift glass bed below as Knives lifts your hips into the air—keeping them connected with his own. 

A pathetic moan escapes your lungs as Knives resumes his rut, his cock plunging as deep as your pussy would allow. His burning glands kisses your cervix with each surge forward as his balls slap deliciously against your clit. You arch and sob. You’re so swollen and sore, but Knives feels too fucking good.

“Who do you belong to?”

Of course. This ritual would be incomplete without your pledge of devotion to him.

“Y-you, Knives.”

The powerful being bears down on you, his sharp teeth on the shell of your ear.

“Who do you worship?”

“You.” 

“Who do you love above all else?”

You tremble, the confession vibrating like an explosion in the air as it spills from your lips. 

“You. O-only you Knives. I love you.”

And with a hot groan, Knives comes inside you, his fingers bruising your hips as he grinds his cock against your puffy walls, filling you up with yet another load of his hot cum. When he’s done, his hands come to gently rest on your swollen tummy and you are rewarded with a tender kiss.

“Mine.”

Interested in some Vash plant heat headcanons?

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[dollwritesarchive]

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 — 𝐦𝐚𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐨

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ this is a dark fic! smut ( minors dni ), fem!nanami’s apprentice!reader, virgin!reader, noncon, anal, body morphing ( tentacles, two dicks + some inflation too ), double anal penetration, size kink, mindbreak, bad end, all characters featured are 18+

𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ commissioned by @beebiesworld!! do not repost or translate. please reblog && leave feedback. thanks for reading < 3

“Well, you gave up earlier than I anticipated,” the Curse circled you, eyeing your frame up and down like a hungry animal, a wicked grin pulling his features taut, “Such a shame. I was enjoying chasing you around, the smell of your sweat was so sweet, and you seemed so frightened. Instead of fighting me, you tried to run away; are you sure you’re really a Jujutsu Sorcerer?”

there was a faint sound, the clanging of your daggers hitting the concrete ground at your feet, but it sounded so far away. what was really loud, however, was the beating of your heart. it thumped against your eardrums, it drowned out your panting.

how?

how had he caught up with you so fast?

you hold your hands up above your head in defeat, sheepish at just how he stared at your trembling fingers. you didn’t want him to notice them, but they would’ve been impossible to overlook. “I’m… still in training…”

he gasps with an excited grin and draws closer from behind, until the very shape of his lips forming the words against your ear shifts a tendril out of place, “I see, and does your mentor know you’re here?” you want to cower away from the softness of his voice— it was taunting and cruel, but it sounded so sweet.

you shake your head instead of answering him out loud, the lump growing in your throat making it hard to speak. to say that Nanami Kento didn’t know his pupil had wanted to impress him so badly that she skirted his rules and pursued a curse much too powerful and now she was utterly fucked with no way to call for help was too damning for your lips to bring the words to them.

“No?” both hands snake around to grasp at your arms in the air, and keep them there. your muscles all go taut; your blood freezing in your veins. you remembered what Nanami had said about this curse, and his ability to manipulate the body. would he destroy you this way? you close your eyes tight, and await an excruciating death. “He must be worried about you,” the curse croons against the shell of your ear, before puckering to plant a saccharine kiss on your lobe, his body pressing against yours from behind. “That 7:3 Sorcerer.” the way he spat it, like he was drooling acid into your ear, you knew he meant Nanami. he must still be miffed that your mentor had managed to escape him by pulling a cheap shot. lithe, dangerous digits that were cold to the touch drag along your forearms at a slow pace, and he chuckles. it sends a shiver up your spine. “You must know all about me, then. And our little game we played.”

swallowing hard against the lump blocking your throat, you nod, gathering the courage to speak, even as your voice trembled. “I know… I know how you disfigure innocent people. How you torture them… just by touching them…”

“Does that scare you?” he tilts his head, resting his chin against the crook of your neck, and his hands careen around your shoulders, towards your collarbone, “Knowing that I could pull you apart and put you together again, all wrong. I could disfigure you by force, and it would be so painful your mind just might shatter from the trauma—“ though he was threatening to mutilate you, his voice was lighthearted; playful, even. a new level of malicious that you’d never known before. you knew that he could feel the ferocity of your heartbeat, because his digit tips drummed over your chest in the same, frantic rhythm before they tug at your neckline, gentle and teasing, exposing the tops of your heaving breasts. “If I wanted to.” he pokes out his lower lip in a pensive pout, “But then I wouldn’t get to hear you scream, if I turned your brain to soup right away. I shouldn’t transfigure you, should I? I should keep you together, at least long enough to have my fun…”

don’t be a coward. you wanted to tell yourself this over and over, but it was so much easier said than done. he was considering how to torture you as easily as one might consider their options for dinner. “Why are you toying with me?” your hands clench into fists, falling down at your sides once your arms started to ache, “Stop talking about it, already… if you’re going to kill me, just… do it.”

“Kill?” he sounded genuinely puzzled, and that worried you. “Did I ever say kill? I don’t want to kill you, little sorcerer.” you can feel him moving, even as he’s pressed against you, his feet slipping in between yours, kicking them apart until your legs are spread wide, and something— no, two somethings inching up under your pant legs. they felt like twin serpents, forcing their way through the threading until your bottoms were hanging in tatters against your exposed legs. “I want to ruin you.”

your eyes widen, and your gaze drops to your legs— those tentacles were the same shade of ivory that he was, and they were wrapping themselves around the hem of your panties, like fists ready to jerk them down.

you react, but not fast enough. trying to launch yourself forward, both hands flail to shove at the curse, but he’s coiled two more of those strong, thick cords around your torso, cinching your arms in their constriction. the vice knocks the breath out of you, and you would’ve fallen forward had his many extremities not tangled you up— the very tips of them form fingers, one by one, morphing into stitched hands identical to his original ones, and pull at your clothes, jerking your panties halfway down your thighs. as soon as your sex is met with the cold, damp air of the underground, he inhales deep; smelling you. “Ahhh,” he moans, and the tentacles coiled around your midriff begin to pry at your top, pulling it down, “I can’t wait to destroy you!”

your legs tremor, fighting against the inhuman strength of his organic bondage to try and close, to minimize your exploit, but you’re no match for him, not wrapped up like this. you kick your feet, and scream to be let go. but he giggles, watching you fight for your life, and lose. all the while, those many hands of his grope at you, squeezing and kneading your breasts, long fingers running laps between your folds, coaxing your sex to weep, unwillingly.

“Stop—!” you cry out, writhing hopelessly,

“Why? It seems like you like it, your little cunt is wet!”

but you couldn’t bite back the hapless whining that left your lips fast enough, surprised by the stinging sensation when a middle finger and thumb flick at your sensitive clit. “So swollen already,” he laughs, twisting you around to face him. you see now, as you’re hoisted off the ground, that those tentacles ripped his shirt so severely that it’d slipped from his body completely, leaving his rippled torso bare. he was incredibly muscular, and you hadn’t noticed until now, with his silvery tresses hanging over one shoulder, tickling his navel. the feelers winding up and down your legs spread them further into a wide split, opening you up completely, and you wince. you’d trained plenty, physical feats, but you’d never had your muscles forced this tight. “You must be a virgin, you’re so sensitive.” he hums as he steps closer, his clothed groin pressing flush against your most sensitive portion. you can feel a thick tent, hard and pulsating, just beyond the fabric, attempting to push through and get to your sex, and you mewl, shaking your head, mostly to yourself. “I almost can’t believe that 7:3 Sorcerer didn’t fuck you himself, what with how cute this pussy looks when she’s wet. He hasn’t even seen it, has he? I wonder if he wants to?”

both of his hands reach down, pressing his thumbs against your netherlips, and spreads them apart to expose your maiden entrance, his dual-hued gaze sparkling with wicked delight when you whimper a pathetic, ‘No…’ and shut your eyes tight. it wasn’t an answer to his question ( which seemed to be more of a musing than a true inquiry ), but a protest to his touch. you didn’t have to say out loud that Nanami didn’t see you in that light; he was your teacher. you looked up to him, you saw him as a second father. he wouldn’t think like that. not like this monster.

would he?

you feel pressure, unlike svelte fingers, prodding at your sex. your eyelids snap open and you stare down the sea of slithering tentacles in horror. his hands hadn’t moved, your folds still pulled back, but Mahito has rid himself of his pants and, thus, freed a thick, hard cock from its prison. with just a subtle jut of his hips, he’s able to press the bulbous head against your hole. you clench in response, trying to close completely, but his teasing is just powerful enough to stretch you back open. “Hhhnnnn,” Mahito moans, his tongue darting out to swipe along his lips, “Keep clenching, keep trying to keep me out— it makes me want to hurt you.” one of the hands growing from his many appendages reaches up to caress your cheek, which you promptly turn away from. “You’ll only scream louder when I stuff you full of three, big cocks and make that cute, little hole gape for me.”

three.

you tried not to think about that, but there was no denying the creature before you was demonic enough to conjure and do just what he threatened.

“Nanami… he’ll… come to save me…” you insist, squirming. it was a pathetic attempt to instill fear into the curse— try to scare him with what your mentor might do to him if he follows through with his demented plan.

“I hope so!” Mahito chimes, “I hope he’s on his way right now.” with one hand grasping himself at his base, he drags the engorged tip of his cock between your lips, purposefully bumping your vulnerable clit, and watches you bite your cheek to stifle a breathy sound. “He knows where to find us, and you’ll be broken in long before he makes it here, it’ll be so fun to watch him realize just how helpless I’ve made you. Now, I’ve got a tough decision to make,” thoughtful, Mahito tilts his head to one side, and then the other. you open your eyes, reluctantly, and stare down at his cock, rubbing between your folds. he catches you staring and smiles wickedly, wide, “This tight, little pussy… or…” one more swipe, and this time, his tip pressed against your hole and you braced yourself— were about to be invaded for the first time.

for only a fraction of a second.

before he pushes down on his base, sliding his tool just below your sex; it was slick and shiny with your arousal. the thick head sits flush against your anus, and you haven’t the time to protest, though you suck in a flustered breath to do so, before he plunges inside.

a jolt of pain wracks you, and you cry out, voice breaking, when he forces his way into your canal. he was merciless, instantaneous in falling into a brutal, deep rhythm. you were wincing, one eye closed right whilst the other glared daggers up at him, snorting heavy breaths through your nostrils. sealing your tiers muffled painful whimpers, but your toes still curled, your fists still tightened, in protest.

Mahito swoons, seeing how much you hate having him in your guts, and it only spurs him to fuck you harder— deeper. “Yes! That greedy, wet cunt of yours can wait; it’s much more fun stretching you out this way instead,” he’s purring, lids weighing heavily on his duo-toned eyes, “you look so cute, right now, in so much pain. My cock’s just too big for that virgin asshole of yours, isn’t it?” you nod. you knew he wouldn’t care. hell, maybe he would even find amusement in it and fuck you harder just to inflict more pain, but you answer anyways.

helpless.

pathetic.

both hands clasp against your waist, digging his thumbs against your belly to jerk you back to him each time your body lurched from the power of his thrusts. the intensity, the incessant force behind his cock barreling into your insides was all but maddening. he was right. he was too big for you, he was too rough for you. your body was struggling to keep up with all of the sensation and it overloaded your system. that must’ve been the reason you clenched around air, the reason you felt your stomach bunch up in pleasured knots. right?

you could hear the sound— your sex was dripping down over your ass cheeks, and each time the curse drove himself home, his balls smacked against them, sticking just enough to emit a sickening slap. over and over.

Mahito was panting, but you could tell he wasn’t winded because his velocity never even faltered. he pounded you relentlessly, and squeezed your waist so furious that you could swear he was about to fold you in half at the midriff, his thumbs digging into the squishy flesh. “Still a little vice,” he whined, mostly to himself, “I wanted to get another cock in you, but no matter how hard I drill you to stretch this fuckhole out enough, you still grip like crazy. Heh, let’s see if we can fix that, eh?”

“N—no—!” shaking your head, as fervent as you could muster having been fucked halfway into submission, you mewl out in protest. another cock? your stomach flipped. your body couldn’t even handle this one; surely you would split open if forced to take any more. your opposition fell on utterly deaf ears, because it wasn’t even a full moment later that you felt yourself stretch. “S—stop!” clawing at your own fists, you thrash in the tentacles’ grip; at first, it felt like he was prying you open, your battered ring yielding helplessly to the extraction, but then you could feel it on the inside. your walls were stretching. desperate to accommodate the slow-growing bulge you could see peeking against your belly button. he was inflating himself whilst balls deep in your belly, giving you no choice but to extend around him.

“There we go,” Mahito let out a breathy sigh, but never once let slowed the pistoning of his hips. he was determined to hollow you out completely, “open up, cutie. If you don’t, I might just fuck a hole right through you.”

you’d never felt so full before, and you couldn’t imagine anyone had. your body was stretched, your stomach distended in an unnatural bulge that moved, back and forth, with each merciless hip snap. you could feel every inch, thicker than humanly possible, as they pummeled your rectum. you couldn’t enjoy this. not this pain, not this cruelty.

but your pussy was still wet.

was it the never ending fucking, the constant stabbing at every, intimate nerve inside that was numbing your mind? or had you always been destined to enjoy such depravity?

no, it had to be him.

Mahito was fucking the urge to resist right out of you. with each buck of his hips, each time his balls smashed against you, you were losing a part of your brain. the will to fight back had all but dissipated. as did your hatred of the pain he inflicted.

“N— Naa—nami—“ repeating his name under your breath was the only thing keeping your brain from melting away. forcing yourself to remember that your mentor would come for you. he would save you. if you simply held on to your sanity. “H—help— me—“

“Hmm?” Mahito crooned, his tempo changing drastically for once. he was still incredibly deep, but his thrusts were torturous and slow, coaxing weakened whimpers from your lips each time he pressed his abdomen to yours, as flush to you, as deep in your ass that he could go. “You still remember that 7:3 Sorcerer’s name? Even after I’ve stuffed you to your limit?” he didn’t sound at all disappointed. he sounded… impressed. “Fine, I’ll just have to fuck you until your brain turns to mush.” grinning ear to ear, Mahito releases your stomach, leaving one hand tight on your waist, but the other flees to his groin, gripping the base of a brand new cock growing out from his pelvis. perfectly planted just above his original member, this new appendage is already throbbing and erect when it sprouts, drizzling precum over its twin and your abused hole. “You won’t even remember your own name when I shove this one inside of you. Watch!”

he was so fucking right.

your ring protested taking another, girthy intruder, but he was too strong and, in the end, your body had to give in. worming its way inside, the new cock rubs against the other, coaxing a vulgar moan from your assailant, but you didn’t hear it. this new, impossible feeling had hit a switch in your brain. both dicks bulged in your belly, pressing hard against the sensitive wall protecting your g-spot, scrubbing rough, pulsating veins against the nerves. the two sexes were roughly the same length, jabbing deep in your belly, and when he pulled back, and both withdrew before slamming home, you saw stars behind your eyelids as your head dropped back and you yowled.

Mahito must’ve had an amazing memory, because that very same fierce speed and depth returned to his rocking hips in no time, even as you hang— limp and suspended by those extremities. your mouth was agape, so your moans flowed free, but you couldn’t form any real words. you couldn’t cry for help anymore. your eyes rolled around behind twitching lids.

you didn’t remember Nanami’s name.

you didn’t remember your own.

and you couldn’t care. you couldn’t think.

his cocks seemed to be working in tandem, reaching every sensitive cluster of nerves that you had and punching them over and over, an orchestrated attack to shatter your mind. and it was working.

you felt utterly claimed, decimated. his cocks had invaded you, dominated you, broken you. and deep down you knew that, even if someone did rescue your beaten body from this devil before he crumbled it, your brain was long beyond salvation.

“Poor thing,” Mahito moaned, using his now free hand to press down against the dueling protrusions in your belly, but you only squealed louder when he did so, “you’ll never be the same after this, you know? You’ll never recover from me, and we’re not even close to being finished. This is only your ass, cutie, I’ve still got to conquer that little cunt of yours. I wonder if you’ll even hang on long enough for that, or if your body will simply give out.” but, it didn’t matter to him, not really. you knew that he wouldn’t care if you were mangled beyond repair; he’d said himself, he wanted to break you. “No,” he said, finally, within a whiny, ecstasy filled moan, and grasped your face. squeezing your cheeks together hard, he forced your chin into your chest, and kept your visage angled towards him. he didn’t care if you couldn’t see through your glassy eyes, or that you were drooling all over yourself, he cooed at the sight of your loss against him, “I’ll make sure you stay with me, at least long enough to be the prettiest, sloppiest bait for that 7:3 Sorcerer.”

he could hear you.

Nanami could hear you, panting, crying, but as he called your name, he got no response. he repeated it over and over, stampeding the corridors, following the helpless sounds of his pupil. please be okay. he didn’t say it out loud, and he didn’t have to. he was the only one there to hear it.

should he have asked for back up? of course. but, Nanami couldn’t wait for anyone else to come to the rescue, and he had a gnawing fear in his gut that he was already too late.

if Mahito had already gotten to you, then he was getting closer and closer to discovering that you had been transfigured, and he would have to put you out of your misery, and he wasn’t even sure he could do that.

his heart was racing, but as he turned the corner, he saw a crumpled figure on the ground just a short sprint away— it was you, he could tell, but he couldn’t make out much more. he barked your name, hoping to grasp your attention as he approached, but when the visage of you finally cleared, his blood ran icy in his veins.

you were on your knees, completely nude, and yet you were slumped forward with your face against the ground, cheek smushed and distorting your expression, forcing one eye closed. the other was half opened— you looked drowsy. but your thighs quivered. his gaze was immediately drawn to them, and he drew in a harsh breath.

one of your hands worked diligently between your hips, your middle two fingers thrusting deep inside of yourself. with each probe, sticky white dribbles out of your cunt and over your hand and wrist. it’s the same as the substance that oozes from your butthole as it spasms. it must’ve also matched the cocktail of cum and spit smeared across your features, and splattered on your ass cheeks and thighs. you were a complete mess, and you didn’t even seem to care.

you hardly even noticed Nanami when he approached you, still fingering yourself, gurgling moaning, your eyelids flittering. “What…” Nanami’s brows knit together, his teeth grind. “What happened to you?“ he asked, but he was already relatively certain that you wouldn’t be able to answer him. mortified, he steps closer, kneeling down with his arms extended, sleeves rolled up and ready to scoop you into his arms. “I’m going to get you out of here—“

“C—cock—“ you whimper, tongue hanging out of your mouth, and Nanami freezes. “P—please… give me… cock… fuck me… use me… h—hurt me… fff— fuck me, p—please…” sharp eyes widening ever so slightly behind his spectacles, he sews his jaw shut right when he hears that damned familiar giggling from behind him.

Mahito had appeared there, clasping his hands together with glee. “I hope you won’t be too mad at me, but I borrowed your little toy here.” he exclaims, gesturing towards the mess of what’s left of you.

when you hear his voice, you shake harder, fucking yourself more fervently with both fingers, and whimpering, “Please… please… fuck me… fuck me… fuck…”

“The only problem is,” Mahito smirks, a devious twinkle in his eye when Nanami turns around, “I think I broke her.”

[hobvitr]

can i req spiderwoman!reader whos kinda enemies/rivals with noir and they’ve been competing whos better at fighting villains and one day reader gets hurt too much and he takes care of her

spider-noir x reader

fem!reader

genre/warnings: fluff, kinda rivals to lovers (i don't know how to distinguish tropes damn) angst if you squint, reader gets hurt, self-depreciating joke, mentions of blood, i think that's it, unrevised writing

note: thank you for this request, he's the only man ever !! loved the idea, really. tried to not get carried away in the end (i became flustered while writing) recommended song: te amo - rihanna

being a vigilant is stressful enough, but you manage to make it fun by proving you're better at punching some asses than noir is.

everyone in the group found your relationship with noir the most entertaining thing to see. a spiderman and a spiderwoman competing to see who was better at catching villians wasn't the most common scenario someone imagine happening, and yet you two brought that to the teens lifes.

when you both met, noir wasn't the most talkative man on the presence (especially if peter b was present) but you managed to get him talk to you with your undying charm. that said charm was: your villain count. your count was higher than everyone else in the group, and that made you proud of yourself as a hero and as a woman.

"that is very close to mine" was his answer. your competitive side already starting to show with so little being said. "oh, how close?" you asked with a nudge on his arm. "two more than you." he looked down at you with his mask covering his face, but you could feel the shit eating grin he had.

alright. that was the moment you swore on your life you were going to beat this man's ass at that count. one more motive for you to do your heroic job, and it was a competition.

as you started to show your new count on beating villains, noir always came with a higher one. and that made you frustrated. on the other hand, he seemed to very much enjoy the game between you two as he was always winning, but he didn't cared as much as you did, he just found endearing making you feel competitive, felt like a instigator, and he liked it.

the day both numbers tied, you almost popped a champagne, thinking how funny it would be if you aimed and hit the bottle cap at peter's smug face (affectionately, but he doesn't have to know).

"alright, it's actually not funny when we have the same number" your cheering was slowly stopping when you realized "but i have an idea" noir raised an eyebrow underneath his mask "what is it?"

"we fight the same villain to see who wins" you suggested, shrugging your shoulders "if you win i'll kill m-"

"alright, let's not get that deep" noir cuts you mid sentence, at your not so healthy comment about the competition. you chuckle at his reaction "i'm kidding, I'll obviously win" a wink followed.

when the opportunity showed up for you two to fight together, you took as your win already. not one thing could go wrong... except it could.

as you swing between the wreckage, you took all your effort to not even let noir get close to the vulture. you wanted to handle this on your own and show that you're capable of more than him.

"i thought we agreeded to work together" noir was able to get closer to you enough for you to hear him. his voice broke all your concentration mid fight with the big ass bird, who hit you with full force by the position you were. you flew half of the place, falling so fast on top of some metal shelf that you weren't even able to stick your web somewhere to help your landing.

you feel the blood pooling on your mouth, 'that can wait' you thought to yourself, getting up almost instantly if it wasn't for the stinging pain on your ribcage.

"are you okay?" you swore you heard pure desperation in noir's voice, as he came to hold your arms and check you out for any visible wounds. "yeah, sure" you reply hurriedly, not letting him know you were feeling the most pain you experienced in your life. "I'll just.. beat him very quick I'll be right back" you pat his arm, so fast that when he registers you're already full of rage on the vulture, knocking him out and capturing him underneath a good amount of web.

"oh fuck" you hiss, pressing above the internal wound on your rib. your mask was stained with blood, your blood. noir was so fast to get to you when he noticed. "does it hurt when you breathe?" he asks, hands holding your face, making you concentrate only on him. you shake your head 'no', too weak to speak. "good, but i am taking care of you right now" he holds you bridal style.

"no way, we have to stay here until someone come take him" you try to argue with him, unsuccessfully because he was already taking you out the scene "that can wait" your eyebrows furrow, confused with him so worried. "it's not that bad..."

"it is for me" he finally stopped at what looked like the window of your apartment, you were too light headed to register. he managed to get you inside and you were laying on your bed. "can you sit?" was the first thing he asked, your vision was a little bit blurred but you tried to sit straight with his help.

"apparently yes but not really" you chuckle lightly, rubbing a hand down your face. "here, take these" he offered you some painkillers with a glass of water and you took it like a starving man. "may i..." he asks permission first to take off your mask, and you nod softly.

he lifts up your mask, extra careful with the scratches over your face, and takes it full so it don't get in his way to clean your cuts.

you suddenly feel shy at his touch, you found it cute he was taking care of you even after you were so reckless because of a little competition. he was quiet and so was you, too embarrassed to say something.

his fingers gently pressing the medicine wet cotton pad above all the cuts, you too flustered to make eye contact until you hear a low chuckle "i was so worried" he said almost like to himself, head lowered as he briefly stopped his movements, only to return when he was back looking at you.

"don't do that again, please" he pleaded, making your face go bright red, which was pretty visible with the bedside light on. "i won't" you breathed out. "may i...?" you hook a finger at the end of his mask, asking permission to take it off, which he replied with a low voice cracked "yes".

you took off the material, his face red just like yours, as he picked his glasses to put above his nose. "you're pretty" you manage to say, surprising even yourself, must be some side effects of the painkillers you took.. is what you think, but you couldn't deny his beauty either way.

"you're prettier" you don't feel the warmth of the cotton no more, you feel the warmth of his thumb caressing the skin of your cheek. "is cuddling included in taking care of me?" you tease while smiling from the contact, and inciting a chuckle from him. "you want it to be?" he boldly teased back, making you hide your face under your hand.

"now that you clearly flirted back with me i may want it, yes" you reply with a light shrugg of your shoulders as if it was nothing, but your face showed the opposite.

he supports his weight on his arms, hands on the bed at each side of you, his face leveling with yours, few inches close "on it, doll".

[zeltqz]

MIND GAMES | ran haitani

length. 5.9k words

synopsis. final part - you finally lose your V to ran hehe

authors note: so i finally got over my nervousness and wrote the fluffiest smuttiest shit i ever oh my god my fingers just dont stop typing when it comes to this man ANYWAY ENJOYYYYYYYYY @sleeplessreader @nimbixan @christmassugarcookies @ransbaby@scarletbedlam @ranhaitaninumberonefans @wenumsmol @jordanisgae

Ran sets his controller down on his lap when you text him; not even wasting a second before unlocking his phone, lightspeed. Rindou rolls his eyes so far into the back of his head they almost get stuck, clearly agigated when Ran just tosses out his attention span the second he gets a text from you.

‘ Whipped ’ is what Rindou likes calling it, noticing how his brother would rather drop everything he’s doing, even going as far to cancel all his plans if the opportunity arises to talk to you.

“So you’re really just going to leave me to fight a 2v1 by myself?” Rindou’s question goes unanswered and he groans watching his character’s health bar deplete by the second. “Dude?!”

Hey, what are you doing? 

Ran clicks on your messages, totally unaware of the uninvited smile creeping onto his face as he types back.

Just playing some games with my brother. Why?

His tongue pokes out to his cheek as he sees the three dots popping up and down rhythmically as you form a response. 

“Ran, if I lose this battle, I will never forgive you.” 

“Shut up, you’ll be fine.” Blindly, his spare hand aimlessly searches around his lap for the controller to shut his brother up when his phone vibrates on his lap once more.

No no reason, I just wanted to talk to you, but you are busy so I’ll call you later

The little hope Rindou has left when he sees Ran’s character take a step forward, ready to aid him through fighting the monster is gone the second Ran’s attention and wandering hands go back to his phone.

“Are you kidding me?!” Rindou’s character falls, evaporating into thin air and his eye twitches. “Fuck off, I’ll go call Kakucho or something, you useless piece of—”

His rant lands on deaf ears as Ran continues to ignore him, kicking his feet onto the couch, eyes glued onto that phone like it’s his lifeline.

I’m not busy, c’mon, talk to me . Everything ok/?

His long hair rests on his shoulders, his slender fingers playing with the ends of it as he anxiously waits your response.

Everythings fine, promise. Just wanted to talk to u 

Stop being so cute its killing me honestly.

Shut up..

He loves the way he can hear your voice through the message, the playful tint in your phone as you’d push him away whilst trying to hide your flustered face from his gaze. 

It’s become his new favourite hobby, to tease you till you can barely look at him. 

We’re still on for tomorrow right? He asks and distantly, he hears Rindou talking shit about him to Kakucho from the corner of the kitchen, then proceeds to invite him over to help him finish the damn game.

“I’m right here, y’know?” Ran calls out, leaning his head back far around over the couch to look into the kitchen, snickering when Rindou puts up his middle finger and continues to cuss him out over the phone whilst looking into the fridge.

Yeah, tomorrow is fine. 

You respond back with a heart emoji at the end that makes his own heart beat twice as fast. He’s not sure why you have such an effect on him; how you managed to invade his thoughts at any moment throughout the day, how he would jump over any object just to grab his phone if it was at the far end of the room when it dings, the disappointed look on his face when he realises the text wasn’t from you.

On a scale of 1-10, how angry would you be with me if I came over right now?

He decides to test the waters and asks. If your answer is anything higher than a 7, he’ll stay at home and wait till tomorrow, but anything less than that; he’s hopping on his motorcycle and risking it all just to see you.

8. Stay ur ass at home ran my dad is here for the week

Fuck’s sake.

He frowns, untwisting his finger from his hair and sighs.

Bruh cant he fuck off and stay in his own house? So unfair.

There’s a short gap between your replies, and he uses it to head over to the kitchen, towering over his younger brother, placing the flat of his palm against the top of his head and drags him away from the fridge with zero effort.

“Ran, get off me !” Rindou struggles to escape his brother’s grip, practically fighting for his life as Ran’s lazy eyes scan over the contents in the fridge. 

He’s too tired right now to cook actual food and there’s no leftovers for him to reheat. 

“Ran, I’ll kick you.” Rindou threatens when he finally rids himself from Ran’s clutches. “You’re extra annoying today.” He grits out, dusting his clothes, trying to act as nonchalant as possible as if he didn’t just get manhandled in his own house.

“I’m taking that as a compliment.” Ran closes the fridge with a sigh, moving to sit on the edge of the kitchen counter.

“Take it as you want, I don’t care.”

Ran rolls his eyes when his phone chimes twice and he doesn’t have to look at it to know who it is. Rindou clicks his tongue, grabbing his flask and downing it with ease. He needs the alcohol to get him through the day, especially when Ran is like this.

It’s an image attachment rather than a message and he opens it; immediately knowing why it took you longer to respond than usual.

You grace him with a perfect angle of your hands splayed over your bare chest, your nipples playing hide and seek behind your fingers. From the looks of it, your back looks arched slightly from the curve of your waist and at the very top of the photo, your bottom lip is being bit down onto subtly with your teeth. His eyes trail down to your stomach, captivated by the way your shorts ride up your thigh—

He needs to get his hands on you. Fuck waiting.

Rindou looks over his brother’s shoulder, eyes blowing wide and jaw dropping to the floor as he gasps an “Oh my God—”

Ran shuts his phone off and fights the urge to punch his brother into next week, hoping the hit is hard enough to give him memory loss. 

“Is that the girl you’re talking to? Shit, what’s her name?” He takes another sip of his drink when Ran brushes past him to grab his shoes. “Oi, don’t ignore me!”

“Just shut up, I gotta go.” 

You fiddle with the tips of your nails anxiously, fidgeting on your bed, physically unable to stay still as you allow your thoughts to take control. Does he not like it? Is it too much? Is that why he hasn’t responded? Did I cross a line? Sending it without permission? Did he block me?

The last one seemed to have worked in heightening your anxiety, fingers now moving to delete the image and pretend you had never sent it; though you know he saw it because the words READ staring at you like a slap in the face.

You almost jump out of your skin when your phone vibrates from underneath your body five minutes later, hidden deep within your sheets as you fish for it. 

Come outside.

It’s a simple message, yet still has your brain muddled. Once connecting the dots, your face flushes, mouth parting slightly and dart your eyes to your keyboard.

Don’t tell me youre outside…. 

You walk over to your window and slam a  hand down on your windowsill to stabilize yourself as you look outside, spotting Ran’s motorcycle at the end of the street. 

You’ve gotta be kidding me, you think, pulling your phone out and dialing his number you shamelessly admit you know by heart.

He doesn’t even let it ring for two beeps before he’s answering, repeating his text message out loud as he says, “Come outside.”

You always forget how deep his voice is, how it has that subtly provocative undertone with a bite of playfulness when he’s in the mood. “Ran—I can’t, you know this—” The deep rumble of your dads laughter fills the house; he’s always so loud, as if he knows you’re planning to sneak out and is laughing extra loud downstairs to remind you he’s home. “My dad will ask questions.”

“Well, you shoulda thought ‘bout that before you sent me that, shouldn’t you?”

You groan, fingers scrunching up a lone piece of paper on your windowsill as you eye his motorcycle again, eyes flitting across the room to your jacket resting your desk chair. “Fine…” You grumble, keeping him on the line as you slip out of your shorts and into some jeans, grabbing your coat on the way out.

You intended to sneak out successfully, making as little noise as possible when you walk past the hallway behind the living room but the door let you down, creaking open way too loudly and your dad snapped his head towards the door. 

“You going somewhere?”

“No—yeah, I mean I wanted to get something from the store, real quick. I’m craving a snack.”

You put on your best innocent smile, ensuring your face is sweet and forgiving despite the fact you’re leaving to go get fucked by your boyfriend (?). 

“Oh!” Your mother chirps from the kitchen, “can you buy some more strawberries for me? I need some for my lunch tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure whatever. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” You slam the door shut before they even got to say goodbye, hands shaking on the knob of your door as you take a deep breath and make your way over to the end of the street.

He’s distracted on his phone when you sneak up to him, placing your hands on his shoulders. “Hi.”

He can feel you shaking when he slides his hands down your arm, tugging you to sit in front of him on his bike. “Hey, you cold? You’re shaking like a lot.”

“No, I’m just…nervous.” You admit sheepishly, unable to look him in the face. He lifts your face up with a finger on your chin, pressing a reassuring kiss to your nose that has you smiling up at him.

“Don’t be nervous.”

“It hurts though…”

He leans forward, turning off his motorcycle engine and lights, now leaving the street in total darkness aside from the streetlamps. “We can take it slow, if you want.”

“No, not that. I wanna do it today, that’s why I sent you the…yeah.”

He shifts your body closer and you part your legs on either side of the bike for stability, hand gripping onto his shirt for better balance. “That photo was fuckin’ sexy.” You stiffen, blood turning cold as his hands wander along your spine, holding you close to him as his lips mark up the exposed skin of your collarbone. “You’re so fuckin’ hot, you have no clue what you do t’me.” He sucks down, humming lowly when your fingers loop around his chain and tug ever so gently to grab his attention.

“What do I do to you?”

It’s a genuine question, though you have a brief idea, you want to know if you affect him the same way he affects you; how his shirt rides up when he stretches, teasing you with just an inch of his faint v-line or hearing his voice in the mornings when you call him is enough to leave a wet stain in your panties.

His hands slither down your spine and you chew on the inside of your cheek for a moment when you feel it. 

It being something hard inside his pants pressing against your upper thigh. “Oh.”

He doesn’t answer, too interested in grabbing onto your breast, groping it slightly and loses himself in the faint perfume scent lingering on the skin of your neck.

“Ran, not here.” You giggle when he kisses his way up to your ear, puffs of air from his nose tickling against your eardrum. “Not here, please.” It’s a miracle there’s no passerbys this late at night, just imagining the look on strangers faces as they watch Ran feel you up on his bike is enough to have you fidgeting from slight embarrassment; yet you shove down the idea of being caught fucking in public somewhere deep inside.

He smells so good, the scent amplifies ten-fold when you shift back on the bike, dipping your face in the crevice of his neck, nose touching the neckline of his crew-neck black t-shirt.

“You’re in a cuddly mood today,” He says amused, slightly nervous, slight shivers running down his body when he comprehends how close you are. He tilts his head to the side, brushing his cheek against the side of your head and golds you steady, fingers digging into your waist. “How long we got?”

“Hm,” your lips vibrate against his neck as you hum slowly, head deep in calculations, “not that long if I’m being honest, but I can risk sacrificing an hour or two.”

“Yeah? What about the strawberries for your ma’?” 

His eyes squeeze shut when you attach your lips to his neck, slowly grinding your hips down against his lap, the slow roll gives your clit the friction it craves.

“She can live without them,” you whisper, hushed in spite of yourself as he lifts you off his bike easily and you maneovuer yourself to sit behind him, locking your arms around his midriff, digging your face into the back of his neck. 

The ride back to his house doesn’t take long and he doesn’t even bother locking his bike , preferring to lace his fingers between yours gently before he’s leading you inside.

The sounds of battle music blasts from the living room and a quick peek confirms that his brother is playing Street Fighter 2 with another guy that you haven’t met before. 

Ran places his hand around your waist, snatching your attention away from his brother and back to him. “Everything okay?” You nod up at him, fixing him with your best fake smile but he sees through it easily. “Nah, you’re not.”

You sigh, hating how perceptive he can be at times. “I thought we’d be alone…”

“We are, they’re deaf as hell, they won’t be able to hear anything.” When you don’t look convinced enough, he calls out his brother's name loudly, but he’s either ignoring him, or he can’t hear him as he talks to Kakucho, nudging him whenever he moves his character the wrong way. “See, trust me.” He squeezes your hand twice, reassuring you and you nod your head and let him lead you upstairs.

You take a seat on his bed when the reality of the situation hits you. 

You’re really about to lose your virginity.

The bed dips when he moves to sit next to you and your hands twitch nervously on your lap, biting the softness of your cheek to calm you down when he places his hand on your thigh.

“You’re shaking again.”

“I—” You bite your tongue, and swallow thickly, hoping your nervousness goes down with it. “I know I’m ready, I just…I’m just scared.”

You watch the slow rise of his brows. “I’ll go extra slow, just for you, ‘kay?” He tips forward to kiss you again, proving his previous sentence with his extra slow movements. Your shaky hand falls to the side of his face, holding him close to you as he shifts you to lay on his pillow, hovering over you.

He breaks the kiss, bending down to peck at your ear. Your giggle is almost music to his ears and your legs kick around as you mutter “It’s ticklish.”

“Yeah, that’s the point.” He sucks on your lobe harder, one hand moving downwards to wrap your legs around his waist to stop you from kicking him.

“I don’t like my ears.” You tell him, gently trying to push him away, pawing at his chest, laughing when his breath tickles your eardrum once more, “Ran!”

“You’re so beautiful though,” he pulls away, forehead to yours as he looks down at you, “best looking ears I’ve ever seen.”

“You clearly haven’t seen much ears then.” He deadpans at you and you roll your eyes, retracting your statement, “‘kay, I’m sorry.” You close your eyes when he bends down to kiss your nose, cheek, covering your face with kisses as he mumbles how perfect you are after each kiss. 

Your hands cup his face, thumbs stroking at his cheekbones as you hold his face up, enticing him into a trance with your kisses, back arching off the bed involuntarily with each groan that spills from his mouth.

“I’m gonna undress you now, alright?” He says between kisses and you suck in a harsh breath through clenched teeth before nodding, too nervous to provide a verbal response. 

He sits back on his knees and gently tug on your shirt, lifting your arms up to slide the shirt over your head and onto the edge of his bed. You sit up slightly, unfastening the straps on your bra and letting it fall, watching how his eyes stay glued to your chest as if he’s never seen a pair of breasts before. 

“...Ran, you’re staring.” You say, pointing out the obvious, thinking he would look away by now but you have to grip onto his face, and force his gaze up, “My eyes are up here.”

“I know where they are.” 

If he could kiss every part of your body he would. He looks down at you underneath him, eyes glistening with want and habitually, you tug on your bottom lip with your teeth, hands rising to wrap around his neck, craving his lips once more.

With confidence, Ran’s tongue slips into your mouth, slidinig passionately along your own. It’s almost embarrassing how pliant he makes you, how you're lifting your back from the bed slightly to press your chest against his own.

He grins at the soft moans you let out with each kiss, drinking up each mewl that leaves you when your hands wander downwards, slipping under his shirt, dipping your fingers along the crevices of his abs. 

“Take—” You take breaks between kisses to tug hopelessly at his shirt, “I want this off.”

“Someone’s bossy today.” You watch up in reverence as his shirt lifts off his body, tongue poking out to lick your bottom lip. It’s probably swollen by now, how hard you’ve been biting it but you don’t care, not when he hovers above you with his bare arms beside your head.

Your mouth is dry when he leans down to kiss you again, but keeps it short this time, breaking the kiss before you could even melt into the pleasure. 

His fingers dance their way along your thighs, making their way to the zipper of your jeans. His head drops down to look before it’s being lifted by your hands holding his face, “Don’t look…”

“I’m gonna see it regardless, y’know that right?”

Yeah, you know that; but you still feel embarrassed being fully naked and vulnerable in front of someone else for the first time. “I know…”

His fingers test the waters once more, fingernail scraping against the zipper until your legs are complying, spreading ever so slightly, just enough for him to wrap them around his waist as he unzips your jeans, hooking a finger onto your panties to tug them all off at once.

Cold air hits your bare cunt and you almost shiver when he bends down to your stomach, kissing on your skin around your bellybutton, slowly making his way down to your pelvis.

It feels extra sensitive there, butterflies frollocking around your stomach as he practically makes out with your skin. It’s wet when his tongue slides out, licking a stripe from your pelvis to your thighs, squishing them with his fingers as he marks you. He wasn’t lying when he said he would take it slow—now you’re actually regretting his slow pace, wanting to be touched down there.

“Ran—” Your voice trails off into a gasp when he bites down on your thigh, hard enough to probably leave teeth marks. “C’mon…please.” You whisper, covering your eyes with your hands, too flustered to look at him between your legs.

You can’t help but squeal when his nose brushes your clit ever so gently, his wet tongue darting out to lick a long stripe up, lips wrapping around your clit and sucking lightly.

“Oh—oh my god—” He smiles between your legs, eyes closing when he hears your moan, your legs enclosing around his head as you slap a hand over your mouth, biting at your palm when he flicks your clit with his tongue swiftly, physically unable to control your squirming.. “Ran, mm, oh fuck, fuck, yes!” 

“Yeah?” He dives back in, drowning in your slick as his fingers tickle your entrance, “Gonna put my fingers in now, ‘kay?” He takes your soft ‘mmhm, mhm’ as a sign to continue. He pushes in slowly, fighting back your body’s reaction as  he inches his finger in deeper. You almost kick him in the back when you feel it, slow, lazy yet calculated strokes with his index finger.

The pleasure is almost too much, biting your lip, throwing your head back to sink into the softness of his pillows. Your pussy clamps desperately around his long, slender finger. Ran groans, detaching his mouth from your slit, “Fuck, why are you so hot? It’s—” He twists his finger inside you, stretching your soft walls out and gives your clit another suck, “It’s fuckin’ killin’ me.”

Your body feels like jelly from just a single finger, the continuous strokes of his tongue against your clit have stars forming behind the abyss in your mind, eyes squeezed shut as you feel another finger at your entrance. “Don’t stop—fuck—please, don’t st— mm—” 

You’re babbling incoherent sentences, limbs practically numb as you try to squirm away from the overstimulation, insides feeling like they’re being electrecuted. “Wait, I—I think I’m—” 

You’ve never came before so the feeling was unusual to you. The warmth pooling around some unknown area in your stomach had you practically suffocating the man beneath your legs as he loudly licks up at the slick from your cunt as he finger fucks you into heaven.

“Clenching around me so tight, you’re close, aren’t you?”

“I think—” You swallow hard, cursing under your breath when he presses against that spot. He knows he’s hit it because the blood flow from his finger temporarily disconnets with how tight your walls clamp around it, moaning louder than he’s ever heard you before and your hand flys to the headboard to stabalise yourself as you come undone on his hands. You felt liquids squirt from your body, breaking out of the spell he put you under the moment you felt it—scared that you might’ve…

“A squirter, huh?” He says from between your legs, goosebumps forming on your forearms when he drags his tongue over your cunt one last time as a way of cleaning you up. “Didn’t know you could do that.”

“It’s not normal? Oh god…” You hide your face in your hands as he laughs, moving to sit on his knees and pulls you closer by your ankles, trying to remove your hands from your face but they’re practically glued on.

“Stop hiding from me, it was hot.”

“I thought I…” You lower your voice, too embarrassed to even finish the sentence, “I thought I peed.” He snorts and you hit him across the chest, “It’s not funny!”

“You’re so fuckin’ cute.”

Your cheeks heat up when he kisses you again. The taste of the kiss was slightly bitter and you instantly knew that was because of you. 

“You ready?” His voice is breathless as he parts away from your lips, wiping his lower face and mouth with his arm.

“Yeah.” 

He reaches forward, fluffing the pillows to get you as comfy as can be and you smile up at him, watching hypnotised as he tugs his pants down. You now understand his infatuation with your breasts because you’re lost in the sight of his cock, watching witth a dry mouth as his cock bobs free from its restraints.

There’s something white leaking from the tip that you’re sure is cum and you bite your lip when you see him squeezing tight at the base of his cock, dragging a lazy hand up to the top, groaning as he positions himself between your legs.

You blindly reach out of it, almost knocking the wind out from his lungs when you grab it, smaller fingers failing to wrap around his own. “Hey, what are you—” His words get lost when you bend down and ready to stick your tongue out before he stops you, “What are you doing?”

“I wanna taste it.” You say it like it's obvious, darting your eyes down to the leaking precum seeping out from the tip bit by bit, but he stops you, lifting you from your bent position with a single hand on your bicep. 

It’s weirdly attractive how he can just lift you with no effort, manhandle you to the way he wants and before you know it you’re back on the bed, head resting on his floofed up pillows and he’s hovering over you.

He reaches inside his bedside drawer, pulling out a condom and rolls it onto his cock as he says “As much as I’d love to see your pretty lips wrapped around my cock, babe, it’s not abouot me tonight.” His eyes trail down your body, nudging his cock against your cunt, the tip brushing agaisnt your clit in slow circles and you close your eyes to steady yourself.

Once ready, you nod at him and he bites his lip, eyes never leaving your body as he slowly presses into you. Your hands fly up to his arms, digging your nails into his skin and try your hardest to stifle your moan. 

There’s a stinging pressure the second his cockhead enters, your body fighting to accept him in and you start to panic. “Wait—” you tap at his arm rapidly, “I don’t think it’s gonna fit—I—”

“Shhh,” he bends down to kiss you, sucking on your bottom lip to comfort you, “listen to me.” You force your eyes open to look into his own honest ones, “You’re so tense, it’s gonna hurt but it’ll be quicker if you relax, ‘kay?”

“Okay…” You eyes flutter shut when you feel him press inside again, the head of his cock is fully engulfed and you feel the burn between your thighs as your walls stretch to accommodate his length, “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, it burns Ran—”

“I know, I know, almost there, promise.”

The rest of his cock slips inside almost easily and he lets out a gutted moan when he bottoms out, his hips pressing against yours and he has to physically stop himself from fucking you into the sheets, waiting for you to stop squirming underneath him. 

“Is it in?” You whisper and he lifts a hand up, thumb swiping at the tears forming under your eyeline.

“It’s in.” You exhale sharply, un-squeezing your hands from his arms to wrap around his neck. “Tell me when to move, I’ll move.” He says against your neck, pressing soft kisses to soothe you, biting down when you clench around him involuntariily.

It feels weird, like you’re being stuffed full—but you don’t see the pleasure in this yet; it’s more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Maybe your body isn’t wired the same way other girls are because they make it out to be something amazing and have them screaming out in pleasure, but you just feel like screaming out in pain.

“Y-you can move, now.” You say after a moment, watching as his jaw clenches when he drags his cock out, leaving just the tip in before pushing back in gently. Ran makes sure to use as little force as possible, not wanting to overstim you so quickly. There’s warmth pooling in the depths of your stomach, the pain slowly turning into pleasure as he keeps up his slow pace, feeling lightheaded from how your pussy catches around his cock so tightly. 

He briefly thinks he should’ve prepped you more, scared that it was too painful for you. One look down proves his theory wrong and he almost cums right there and then, stilling his hips at the sight of you all spread out for him, eyes threatening to roll into the back of your head as you bite down on your lip, trying to stifle the bubbling moans.

“Faster?” He pants out, hoping and praying that you say yes because he needs to feel you, all of you, wants to hear you scream out his name. 

“Yes, please.” Your voice is hushed and quiet, gradually getting louder when he pulls out once more but slams inside you, hard enough that you’re sliding up the bed, head almost hitting the headboard as he begins his relentless pace.

He can’t hold himself back anymore, fingers digging into his pillowcase as he slams inside you. Your hand flys to your mouth when you’re about to moan, remembering he has guests downstairs but his hands grip onto your wrists, pinning them above your head. 

“Let me hear you, fuck please—” He sounds breathless, using one hand to keep your wrists above your head, the other trailing downwards to your thighs, spreading your legs further so he could fit himself inside you better.

“Ran, ohmygod, yes, yes, don’t stop, fuck !” You attempt to scratch at his hands pinning you down, needing to grab onto something before you feel like you lose yourself completely. He presses down onto your stomach, switching his pace to a slower one and you almost scream—

“Shit,” he whispers, voice trailing into a moan when his hips jerk, shoving his cock impossibly deeper, “I can feel you cumming—fuck, you’re so—” The next thing you know, you’re being flipped ont the bed, soft mattress pressing against your stomach and ass being dragged up into the air. 

“Ran, please—” You feel so empty without him inside you, taking back everything you thought previously about sex not being enjoyable, wishing he could be inside you all the time to fill you with that warmth. 

He grips his cock, panting softly before lining his cock up at your entrance. “‘M gonna fuck you full of cum, I swear to—” His promise is cut off when he slips back inside, groaning and dragging your hips back to take his cock, mouth dropping open as your walls flutter around his cock, “Gonna fill you up—you want that, huh?”

“Mhm-mhm,” It’s hard to speak when your face is being shoved into the pillow, hands reaching behind you, desperate to touch him when he’s pinning them to your back with a firm hand. 

He ruts against you with a desperation that has you screaming your frustrations out into the pillow as you listen to his provocative dirty talk, ears full with the sounds of skin on skin slapping against each other. 

“Arch your back,” he commands, letting go of your pinned wrists to allow you freedom of movement, digging his fingers into your hips to physically stop himself from moving to give you the energy to bend forward, watching with sharp eyes as the line in the middle of your back dips, “Just like that, yeah.”

You wind your hands in the pillow, holding it like it's your lifeline as you feel him bend forward, grinding his cock with slow strokes. “Feel good, hm?”

“I—kiss me, please,” you manage to gasp out and he winds a hand in your hair, pulling you up with a firm grip to crash your lips together. It’s messy and desperate, ignoring your protesting neck and back just to lick into his mouth hopelessly.

He tugs your bottom lip with his teeth before shoving you back down onto the bed, resuming his quick, calculated thrusts. “Close?”

You nod, head heavy and snake a hand down your body to your clit, circling your fingers around it a little faster. “Uh-huh.”

“Shit, cum for me—wanna feel you, c’mon.” His hand comes down hard and heavy on your ass, and that was the driving point for you, a broken cry of his name into the pillow as your walls clamp to his cock. He groans, thrusting one, two, three more times before he groans, breathing heavily and you feel cock twitch twice before he fills the condom.

His cock is wedged deep inside you as he stills his hips, riding out his orgasm. There’s a wet noise when he slips out and your body falls limp onto the bed, every single muscle inside your body aches and you feel so sore. 

You shut your eyes closed for a moment when you hear some movement around the room, some shuffling before your cold body is being engulfed by his warm embrace as he climbs back into the bed with you. 

“You okay?” He asks, head dipped in the crevice of your neck, pressing soft kisses against the skin and you nod your head, hands coming up to hold his arm, cherishing his warmth.

“I’m good.” Looking over the curve of your shoulder, you make eye contact with him and smile, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being my first time. I really enjoyed it.” 

There’s a look you can’t read on his face but his eyes soften more a moment before he’s moving on top of you. Your body surges up to kiss you, sloppy and happy as his laughter ghosts across your mouth. “You’re so soft.”

“No you are! I saw your eyes soften. I’m not blind.”

“That’s cause—” He looks like he’s about to say something but then shakes his head, looking down.

“Cause what?” You move his head back up to your eyes,furrowing your brows as you wait for him to continue.

“I—I think I love you.”

You swallow, wrinkling your nose and blink up at him, those three words wiping all consciousness from your body. At your silence, he fidgets a little, swallowing constantly and swears he feels heat rushing to his palms.

“Nevermind, I—”

“No! No,no don’t take it back.” You panic, sitting up so quickly you knock your forehead against his. Falling back onto the bed with a groan, you rub at your forehead, wincing a little, “I’m such a mess, sorry—”

“No, it’s fine.” He laughs a little, rubbing his own forehead from the hit. 

“I…think I love you too. You just caught me off-guard and I panicked, I’m sorry.” You grab at his hands, bringing them up to your lips and peck the skin there softly watching as he looks at you, wide-eyed. “No, I don’t think; I know I do. I love you, Ran.”

He doesn’t say anything, looking down at the bed for a moment before chuckling, hand coming up to your cheek to caress it lightly, “Like I said before, you’re so soft.”

“Says you!” You want to hit him again but he’s tugging you down onto the bed with him, wrapping his arms around and you smile, snuggling up to his chest. 

“You’re staying the night, right?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I can walk home anyway, my legs are fucked.”

“Good.” 

[schizoidcel]

Hello! I saw you were taking requests for TADC and thought I'd send one in if it isn't too much hassle.

This one has been itching at my brain since I saw the pilot

Pomni, Ragatha, and Zooble (Separately) encounter a newcomer to the circus (reader), who was their S/O in the real world.

Perhaps reader had come looking for them to find out what happened, only to end up getting stuck with them?

Anyways, thanks for your time! I hope you are well!

# POMNI, RAGATHA & ZOOBLE (SEPERATELY) x THEIR S/O IN THE REAL WORLD THAT ACCIDENTLY ENDED UP IN THE CIRCUS ☆

Idk how yall find me wit my posts not showing up in the tags but OMG HELLFIRE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? Dw bestie it's no hassle ong ong. HOPE U'RE DOING WELL TOO LOVE <3

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

🤍 HEADCANONS !!

warnings :: None, angst if you squint on Zoobles part. Also not proofread I'll do it in the morning kissy

♪ POMNI ..

She's probably taken aback first.

It's just been a week after she arrived? And there's already another person???

Though for some reason, and even if you two barely talked, Pomni already feels more connected to you than with everybody else in the circus. Even with Ragatha, even though they've helped her through everything, like on the first day

She finds it weird, but she dosen't mention it at all.

Your presence is just soothing to her and calms her down, which is enough of a reason for her to keep being near you

Over time, you 2 grew very close, seeing as both of you are new to this whole thing.

And Pomni already feels like she has grown a crush on you .. Cmon girlfail it's been like a couple days.

The way you just are ... You makes Pomni feel like you've supported and comforted her all her life, even though you guys just met a couple of days ago

Once you and Pomni were calming down after a really exhausting adventure, you both were pretty beat and when you initiated conversation it somehow came to how you both ended up in the circus

You explained to her how you ended up here because you wanted to try and escape reality after your lover went missing, obviously not expecting to get trapped in a literal VR game ...

Pomni felt saddened at the mention of you having a lover, but at the same time, she felt like something snapped inside her

Didn't she have a lover too?? Was that you? Because it would explain alot .

And when you said how Pomni kinda resembeled your partner, was when she realized :

Pomni IS your partner

She literally immediately started to try and explain to you how she is probably your lover because of how you and her ended up here, and because of the entire thing of her feeling more connected with you

You didn't seem like you got it from her extremely fast no pause explanation, which caused her to have a meltdown infront of you ... (goodjob girl!)

Though, that meltdown looked abit too familiar. Immediately you knew that "Damn! That's my girl!"

Just as soon as you realized, you held her and reassured her that you got what she meant, and that you're happy she managed to connect the dots you couldn't

Pomni seemed happy from the praise, but she seemed even happier from the fact that both of you are together again.

And now she is clinging on to you like idk a panda on pumpkin.

Expect her to be clingy like this for a few days, maybe even weeks. Fuck girl maybe FOREVER

The days she was there, even with Ragatha helping her the best she can, Pomni still felt isolated as she had begun to slowly think that maybe none of these people are real in the first place (jesus girl)

But now that you, her S/O, someone she KNOWS that is real is here with her she feels SO much more calmer

She does feel bad that you're stuck with her now, and she definitely feels abit of guilt. But exactly because of those reasons, Pomni wants to get out even faster now. She still wants to have a little apartment with you, after all!

♪ RAGATHA ..

With you being new, Ragatha makes sure that like with Pomni, your 1st day is as good as it can be!

She seems to be abit more hooked on trying to make it perfect, though ...

I wonder why that is?

Well she sure don't know. Anywho!

Even if she does want the day for you to be more flawless than ever, she really didn't give it any thought, therefore she automatically is not aware why she wanted it to be 100% ideal for you

She's been in here for awhile, and though she faintly remembers having a partner, she doubts her partner would ever end up in the digital circus like her (uhmm... news flash bae...)

Ragatha realizes from day 1 that she gets along with you really well, and that immediately caused you two to hang out alot!!

The longer you hangout with her, the more Ragatha feels like she is developing a crush on you .. (wuh woh ...)

And not even a few hours after she realizes she has this crush on you, you started talking about how you ended up in the circus in the first place

She was sad at first, but tried not to show it. Instead, she comforted you, and told you stuff like "It's OK!" "Maybe we'll find a way out, then we can find your S/O!" (the irony I can't.) basically words she hoped would stop making you look so sad and make you smile instead .. (cutie)

Out of nowhere though, you started crying

She was so . shocked?? GIRL WHY ARE YOU CRYING

You try to tell her through your now lowkey stuttering voice how your S/O acted JUST like her

The touch, the words, the voice, all of it was really familiar to you .

After you tell that to her, Ragatha realizes that it's the same for her towards you.

How she feels like you and her knew eachother for years with how fast you two got along when you first met, surely it can't be a coincidence.

Ragatha begins to tell you about this and how she feels like she knew you for a very, VERY long time

.. Which leads to a guessing game of both o yalls fave things.

Though Ragatha has forgotten most of the stuff in her life back on the real world, she "coincidentally" knew EVERY one of your favourite things.

And you did hers??

You two didn't know how to react and were shocked.

After the shock died down though, both of you were just hugging eachother, and the both of you telling eachother how lonely it was without the other one by your side really aint gon stop those tears.

♪ ZOOBLE ..

Zooble DEFINITELY wouldn't even realize or care about you

Ofcourse not because they hate you, they're just kinda tired of new people coming in and in, especially this fast (chill girl god damn its only 2 people!!)

Zooble starts to find you WAY more tolerable the more Caine throws you into adventures together, though

They find the aura around you more inviting, so to speak

They even slowly start to think about how they prefer you over all the other members of the circus

You two only spoke around 4 times, but all have been extremely smooth going and fun conversations, something Zooble wouldn't expect to have with someone. ESPECIALLY a new member ..

On the other side, you find Zooble extremely likeable aswell! Sure, they might be dry or blunt, but they have a warm side, like every cold person usually does

You probably like talking with Zooble more than everyone else aswell .. Not cus everyone else is boring, you just find Zoobles personality and perspective on things to be more intriguing

Once Caine made you all go through another adventure yet again, which turned out to be a "partner" game

And wouldn't you know it, fate loves you and puts you and Zooble into a pair!

On that day, you two managed to tell eachother the mutual interest you have in one another, therefore deciding to become closer friends.

Or actually lets just start with being friends in the 1st place.

Ofcourse after that game, you two would normally be seen together more often now (BESTIE TIME)

Which ultimately leads to you telling Zooble how you got in the circus in the first place

Zooble didn't really know how to react to you having a S/O, they didn't really feel hurt, but at the same time they did? It was confusing, really

Once while in your room, you told Zooble how some of the antics they make is similar to what your S/O used to do

You immediately snapped and thought about how lowkey weird it is to say that, so you apologized immediately ..

To your suprise though, Zooble even took it as a compliment (they didn't expect it too.)

Zooble feels like a part of their identity has been put together the more you guys hang out with eachother

They want to know why they feel so completed with you, but that'll probably be something that can only be figured out once you two (if you can) get out of this circus (word for word ...)

But for now, they'll enjoy your company, the energy you give off, and your comforting presence.

They wont step over the line, since they know you already have a partner, but it wont hurt if you're just best friends, right?

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

ׂૢ་༘࿐ Thank you for reading! ♡

Ugh this was so much fun I am LIVING for these little babes. I'm really proud of these hello ?! Might make a short scenario version since I love this ask sm.

[public-trans-it-deactivated20240]

i would love to hear your dark spore rant. i didnt even know spore had a sequel.

Oh anon. Poor sweet anon. I’m so sorry.

So, the thing about Darkspore is…

… it was a really REALLY… mediocre game.

Like, the moment to moment gameplay was… fine. Just fine. Not incredible. But not BAD! Really, it only had two major flaws:

The first, it was buggy as hell. One particularly nasty bug was present in the games launcher, and on certain systems the game would fail to install at all. They were unable to ever fix this bug, which I speculate was a major reason the game was abandoned by the devs so quickly and lead to it being taken down from every major digital distribution site. You could still install and play it if you already bought it though! If… it actually installed for you.

Which leads us to the second flaw. It’s right there on the box.

“Internet connection required”

The game has Always Online DRM. All the levels, enemies, loot, your entire account, was all stored server side. And servers are expensive. So, when the games bugs became unwieldy and not worth fixing, and they took it offline… it became a money sink. It was a game generating ZERO revenue, but had huge server maintenance costs. So eventually, they just shut down the servers.

It is now very difficult to obtain the game, requiring you to buy one of the few unopened physical copies remaining. And even once you do have it, it is IMPOSSIBLE to play. There is a project called Resurrection Capsule in the works, some fans trying to create a private server for it. But with so much info stored server side, they basically have to recreate entire subsystems from scratch. It’s… not going very fast, and to my knowledge hasn’t been touched in over a year.

Story

The story of the game is pretty basic. A progenitor race of alien super-scientists create a new, synthetic form of DNA, called Exponential-DNA, or E-DNA. This rapidly mutates to create new life, and can be guided to create specific, specialized organisms, condensing thousands of years of evolution to a few hours. It can also be injected into existing creatures to alter them and make them more powerful. However it also linked everything affected by it into a hivemind. So it was outlawed. The creator of it decided to respond by creating a E-DNA virus, called The Darkspore, infecting himself with it, and spreading it across the galaxy and conquering it, wiping out his own race.

You play as another member of that race, who has been in hibernation for 1000 years while that was going down. Your ship AI has woken you up because it has managed to stabilize E-DNA and also keep it disconnected from the hivemind, and needs you to go kill the guy who took over the galaxy. That is how the game starts.

…

And how the story ends. There is not really any more story past that part. You get a cutscene describing each of the games 6 planets the first time you visit it, and a final “Hey you won!” cutscene after killing the final boss which ends with the cliche “implication the villain isn’t really dead” trope, and… that’s it. That’s the entire story. Not really the selling point of this game. Its not even entirely clear if it takes place in the same universe as Spore! It’s just set dressing for “Run through these 24 levels and beat everything up”

Gameplay

Darkspore was created by Maxis. This alone was HUGE. This was a team of developers who only really made lifesims like The Sims and Sim City, taking a stab at making a diablolike game.

And I GENUINELY BELIEVE every single studio out there needs to do shit like this. Designing for something so outside your wheelhouse creates SOOOOO much innovation so quickly. You get fresh new ideas injected into the genre so quickly. The final product won’t be good! You don’t have any damn experience in the genre! But it will create something unique beautiful, and god damn I wish we lived in a world where that alone was enough and devs weren’t focused on chasing profits instead.

Genesis

Genesis is just a fancy way of saying ‘Element’. There are 5 of them: Plasma (fire and lightning), Bio (plants and animals), Cyber (machines), Necro (death and fear), and Quantum (space and time) and the way they interact is… certainly a choice I guess. Each Darkspore you face has a genesis it falls into, and each of your heroes has one as well. If your Genesis matches that of the darkspore you are fighting at the moment, you take double damage and they take half damage. If they don’t match, all damage both ways is neutral.

The system itself is kinda mediocre. The biggest part of it, however, is the Variant Skills. Each Genesis has 4 unique skills tied to it that represent the common elements of that type.

Heroes

There are 25 heroes in the game, which each have one Genesis and one Class (Sentinel which are the tanks, Ravagers which are the DPS, and Tempest which are the Casters/Support)

Each hero has 4 total variants, with the first one you unlock being Alpha, and as you level up your account (heroes do not have their own levels) you eventually can purchase their Beta, Gamma, and Delta variants, with each variant having slightly different stats, and a different one of their Genesis’ 4 variant abilities.

Each hero has a unique basic attack, which USUALLY has a little extra to it. For example Sage shoots a bolt that hurts enemies it hits, but heals allies it hits. Zrin alternates between two different punches, one of which has a short duration DoT and the other of which has a 10% stun chance. Stuff like that.

They also have a passive effect that is always active while you are playing them. Collect a soul from each enemy killed for a 5% damage boost, 10% damage bonus when attacking from behind, a stacking defense buff every time you take damage, stuff like that.

Finally, a character has 2 unique abilities. One that is unique to them and can only be used while you are playing that hero, and a second ability that is everyone in the squad can use if that hero is present.

Squad Decks

Which brings me to the first rant and something I am SO AUTISTIC ABOUT (positive). SQUADS. The game had you craft Squad Decks, collections of 3 heroes that you can swap between during your missions, for a total of 883.2k squad combinations (I think my math might be off on that). Swapping between them is on a cooldown of about 10 seconds, but otherwise is don’t instantaneously and as often as you want without penalty. You always have 5 abilities active:

- The unique ability of your active hero

- The Genesis ability of your active heroes variant

- Hero 1’s Squad ability

- Hero 2’s Squad ability

- Hero 3’s squad ability

The first two abilities change out every time you swap heroes, but the last 3 are fixed. So you have 3 abilities that you always have access to, and 6 abilities that are paired up and you can swap between which pair of those abilities is active.

Your heroes do NOT share a health/energy pool, but DO share healing pickups. Any time you pick up a health or energy restoration pickup, it refills a chunk of the respective health pool of your currently active hero, and a smaller chunk of each of your inactive heroes in the squad.

So the core loop of moment to moment gameplay becomes swapping situationally between heroes both offensively and defensively, to get access to your other heroes skills and also to mitigate damage from enemies based on their genesis or control where your healing is directed.

Loot

Loot in Darkspore is fairly standard for your average Diablolike. Item drops have 4 tiers: Common (Item Level=Account Level-5), Uncommon (Item Level=Account Level), Rarified (Item Level=Account Level+5), and Purified (Item Level=Account Level+10)

Items of higher tiers have more chances to roll on a table to gain beneficial modifiers.

Each item fell into one of a few different categories: Weapon, Hands, Feet, Offensive, Defensive, or Utility.

Each hero has one of each slot, plus an additional slot based on their class. Ravagers have an extra Offense slot, Sentinels have an extra Defense slot, and Tempests have an extra Utility slot. Any hero can equip any item you gain, with the exception of Weapons that are hero specific. Some heroes also lack Hands or Feet, in which case their weapon has extra stats and can get the same modifiers as hands and feet can.

The items you equip can then be added onto the Hero in the Hero Editor. The Hero Editor is often equated to the Creature Editor in Spore, which is BULLSHIT and was a pet peeve of mine the ENTIRE DAMN TIME THE FAME WAS LIVE. This is a FALSE EQUIVALENCE. It uses the outfit editor from the Tribal/Civilization phases of Spore instead. Importantly: this means you cannot alter the overall silhouette of your hero. It will always maintain the same basic profile and animations. However you can freely place the extra parts you equip anywhere on its body, and can also place multiple copies of them.

Additionally, old parts can have their stats stripped, converting them into ‘Detail’ parts with no stats, of which you can equip 6 different parts, each of which you can include 10 copies of on your hero. So you could get some pretty cool looks from it!

However all this loot is garbage and you likely would not use most of it outside of appearance. Which brings me to…

Cash-out Loot

Usually if you mention the word ‘cash’ in any sentence involving a game published by EA, it would be a call for concern. Luckily this isn’t that! It’s just gambling! Everything is fine!

The main progression in Darkspore comes from gear, and the best gear comes from how good your ships engines are. These come from account upgrades as you level up your account, determining how many levels you can do in a row. Every time you complete a level, you are given an option: Keep going, or ‘cash out’ and get a guaranteed piece of Uncommon gear, with a 10% chance of it becoming Rarified, as well as all the gear you picked up in the level.

If you choose to keep going, you have to complete the next level. If you die, you lose ALL the gear you picked up, including that guaranteed piece. If you make it to the end, you are given another choice: Risk it all again and go on to the next level, or stop here and get your TWO pieces of guaranteed uncommon loot, which each now have a 20% chance of becoming rarified and a 5% chance of becoming purified.

You can only go another of levels equal to the number of Engine Upgrades you have earned by leveling up your account. So at first, after the second level you HAVE to cash out. As you progress you can start to do many more levels at a time, getting a dozen pieces of gear that are practically guaranteed to be the highest rank.

But of course you have to play these levels in order, and you don’t get a chance to upgrade your character with all the cool new loot you found on the way, so you can’t just jump straight into this. You have to slowly build up to being able to push yourself this much, and once you can, you have a readily available source of some of the best gear in the game.

And that ties into my absolute favorite system of Darkspore:

Catalysts

Many diablolikes have a mechanic called ‘Sockets’. The gear you equip has its own type of equipment slot, and you put gems in there that give you small bonuses. Every game does it a little differently, but it’s kind of a staple of the series.

Darkspore uses a similar system, but utilizes it VERY differently. While you are running levels, enemies will rarely drop Catalysts instead of loot. These come in 5 colors: Purple (boosts your base stats), Red (boosts offensive secondary stats like damage or attack speed), Blue (boosts defensive secondary stats like health regen or damage resistance), Green (boosts utility secondary stats like movement speed or lifesteal), and Rainbow (can contain any of the bonuses of the previous categories) They also come in two sizes: Big and Small. This determines how big the bonus from them is.

You have a 3x3 grid on your HUD that the catalysts you collect go into. You can rearrange them however you want, and if you create a line of 3 of the same color (Rainbow is a wildcard and matches with all of them), it will double the bonus of all Catalysts in that line. This stacks, meaning if you create multiple lines over a single catalyst it could get a x3, x4, or even x5 bonus if it’s the center piece of the grid and forms a line in every direction.

However, you can’t save Catalysts. You can equip it to the grid or drop it on the ground and move on. That’s it. You have to decide now. Do you keep that Big Purple you have for the big buff to your most important stat, or do you trade it for that Small Rainbow for a mediocre stat you just found that you can plug in the middle and double everything else in your grid?

“Surely that only matters early game, and once you have good catalysts you don’t swap them out that much, right?” I hear the diablolike veterans asking, because that is how socketing works in most of those games. And normally you would be right. Except for one major change: All your catalysts only last until the end of your run. When you get to the cash out screen, and choose to keep going? You keep them. But if you choose to cash out, or if you ever die, your catalysts all vanish. Every new run you have to go through and collect them again, which results in you playing your heroes in new ways and adopting new strategies based on what catalysts drop for you each run.

It’s an INCREDIBLE easy to learn system that adds SO MUCH depth and replayability to the game. I love it so incredibly much. Each mechanic flows elegantly into the the next. The catalysts help you do better runs which gets you better gear which upgrades your heroes which lets you do better runs, the entire spiral being locked into your account level to give a quantifiable metric of how far this spiral is gone. It was so good!

And now, it’s gone forever.

Man that sure was a long post. Friends have heard me go on this rant SO many times. Thank god I never got into a second mediocre game filled with novel innovations that are ultimately lost to time and can never be experienced again due to Always Online DRM making it unplayable. Can you imagine if I didn’t learn my lesson and did that a second time? Ha!

… I never did that again. Right?

… right?

…

HEX: Shards of Fate

Hex was a digital TCG legal battle with TCG elements created by Cryptozoic. It was originally put up on Kickstarter, advertised as a digital card game with both PvE and PvP modes, a unique focus on the design space opened up by being a digital game, and gameplay damn near identical to Magic: The Gathering.

The thinly veiled truth was that this game was never meant to succeed. They had hoped it would, and it would be great if it did, but I’m fairly certain that was always a secondary objective. The first objective was to get sued by Wizards of the Coast over the similarities to Magic: The Gathering.

Now, that might sound strange to an outsider, but to anyone in the industry, they are probably nodding along and going “Yeah that tracks actually.”

You see, Wizards of the Coast is… bad. Really bad. They do everything in their power to choke the life out of the industry and have resorted to a lot of questionable tactics to do so. One of these is against anyone who develops any form of trading card game. You see, WotC has a patent on booster packs, customizable decks of cards, and turning cards sideways.

Literally.

U.S. Patent No 5,662,332 (A)

It is not a coincidence that the second two biggest names in TCGs don’t involve turning your cards sideways. Konami contested that Yugioh was different enough to not violate the patent.

WotC responded by suing them. They settled out of court.

Nintendo actually hired WotC to design the Pokémon TCG to NOT violate the patent in return for WotC getting to distribute the first few sets. WotC gladly accepted, distributed the game, got their cut of the sales, and as soon as that was over….

WotC responded by suing them. They settled out of court.

Every single other game out there ended up paying royalties to WotC. Because the cut of the sales to WotC was cheaper than going to court even if you won. WotC had their fingers in every pie, but was smart enough to make sure not to piss people off so much that refusal was ever a viable option.

Cryptozoic was a company that, at the time, was making several licensed TCGs. The big one that jumps out was the World of Warcraft TCG, which they were in charge of (though it was originally made by Upper Deck). Cryptozoic was begrudgingly paying royalties because having the WoWTCG license was too good and they didn’t want to give that up. Then Hearthstone happened and Cryptozoic was going to lose the WoWTCG license as it got discontinued.

So Cryptozoic set up their new game, Hex, specifically to bait WotC into suing them, so they could get the patent overturned.

See, the patent isn’t actually valid. You cannot patent a game mechanic. There are certainly aspects of the patent that ARE valid and CAN be enforced, but the parts about mechanics can’t actually be enforced. WotC uses it because people can’t contest it, but if it actually was used in court it would get overturned VERY easily, and WotC would be declawed.

So Cryptozoic created a game that was a clone of MtG, used a Kickstarter to build up a large amount of legal funds, and got sued by WotC! Yes! Exactly what they wanted!

… and then they settled out of court.

Sigh.

I guess I’ll talk about the game now.

Lore

The lore of the game was solid. Pretty typical fantasy setting. Humans and elves and sort of racist orcs (better than most other orcs I’ve seen at least) and extremely racist tribal coyote people make up the good guys. Undead, spider-orcs, dwarves, and also pretty racist samurai rabbit people make up the bad guys.

There are two types of magic in the world: Blood magic and Wild magic. Elves are adept at wild magic. Shin’hare (the rabbit people) are adept at wild magic as well. The Shin’hare tried to take over the world, forcing the Orcs, Humans, Elves, and Cyotle to ally together to drive them underground into the underworld.

There the Shin’hare met and allied with the Vennen, an all male race descended from Orcs. They were adept blood mages, and they procreated by kidnapping orcs and using them as incubators for spiders. I fucking love the Vennen. I’ll focus on them a lot in this. The Vennen taught the Shin’hare how to sacrifice their young for more power.

The two then allied with the Dwarves, a genderless race of sentient stone statues who excel at creating machinery, and who believe the world itself is a giant machine. Specifically, a weapon of mass destruction, and they are trying to set it off. They believe blowing people the fuck up to be their natural calling.

The underworld and overworld forces go back and forth a bit, with the Elves doing a large chunk of the work as the only overworld race that can use magic.

Then Hex happened. Hex is a massive meteor made up of Diamond, Emerald, and Sapphire. Hex punched clean through the world, scattering gems all across it, before stabilizing in orbit on the other side, becoming the worlds moon.

These gems were incredibly magical, allowing every race to now use magic. Diamonds were restorative, bringing life to things. Rubies were extremely destructive and burned bright and hot and quickly. Sapphire allowed finesse manipulation and control over water. These

Yes this is just the MtG color pie.

Eventually, humanity stumbled into one of their old crypts that was very close to the impact site of Hex, and found it CRAWLING with undead. They were taking the Diamonds from Hex and putting them into the eye sockets of human corpses, causing those corpses to reanimate. These were NOT actually undead, but an alien consciousness that existed within the gems that were using human corpses as a host.

The Necrotic sought a peaceful and symbiotic relationship with humanity as thanks for the use of the bodies. Humanity responded by getting really pissed off that the Necrotic were grave robbing, and went to war over it. Eventually the Necrotic retreated deep into the underworld and allied with the other races instead, eventually helping the Shin’hare with a second attack on the surface.

The lore has a lot more depth than that, but that’s the basic. I liked it a lot. The Orcs being good guys who just really liked tests of strength was a refreshing take on orcs. I liked them a lot. The extremely racist caricature that made up the Cyotle and the Shin’hare? Less so.

Digital Design Space

As for the actual gameplay… it was MtG. Like, almost 1:1.

Like…

Seriously.

Shards work similarly to Lands, with there being 5 basic shards, Diamond, Sapphire, Ruby, Wild, and Blood. You can only play one Shard per turn and when you do you get 1/1 Resource. 1 resource to spend on this turn, and 1 permanent resource. You spend that resource to play a card that costs 1, and you go down to 0/1 resources. Start of your turn, you would go back up to 1/1 resource.

Pretty straight forward stuff. Resources are a card type like in MtG, but once it’s played it acts as a perpetual resource like the Mana in Hearthstone, with no need to care about where the resource is coming from.

… wait a second though, this is a MtG clone. It uses the color pie. Caring where those resources come from is KIND OF a big deal in MtG.

Which is the first really cool difference between Hex and MtG! THRESHOLD! Each time you play a shard you gain 1 threshold in that color. To play a card, you have to have at least as many threshold as are displayed below its cost. See that purple dot below Murder? That means you need 1 blood threshold to play it.

Threshold is NOT consumed when you play a card, which DRASTICALLY alters deckbuilding and how feasible multi-color decks are.

For example, in MtG, if you had 4 swamps and 1 mountain in play, and 5 cards in hand that all cost R…. You can play 1 whole card this turn.

In Hex, if you have 4 Blood and 1 Ruby, and have 5 cards that all cost 1 and have a single Ruby threshold, you can play your entire hand that turn. This made it incredibly viable to splash colors in relatively smaller amounts. It also opened up cool new design space, like cards that cost 1 but still required 3 threshold in a color. Or cards that require 1 threshold of every type to activate a bonus effect (very common among Necrotic) or… for sockets!

HEY WE ARE COMING FULL CIRCLE!

Remember how I mentioned Diablolike games having sockets, but how Darkspore didn’t use it? Well Hex DOES. There was a pair of keywords called Socketable Major and Socketable Minor. Each set, there would be 10 gems (two of each color) that rotated out for Socketable cards. Cards with Major sockets could equip any gem, while minor sockets could only equip half of them. So for example the current rotation might have the Sapphire gems be “While you have at least 1 Sapphire Threshold, this card has Flying” for its Minor gem, and “When you play this card, if you have at least 3 Sapphire Threshold, target player draws 3 cards”

You chose which gem was in each Socketable card during deckbuilding. Different copies of the same card could have different gems equipped, or you could have the same gem equipped across multiple different cards. It was basically a way to go “This card was designed to be splashed in other color decks. You pick what that other color is.”

It opened up a lot of design space! This was something Hex did VERY well. They knew they were making a MtG clone, but they weren’t beholden to the same restrictions a physical card game did, and they THRIVED in those areas.

For example, REPLICATORS GAMBIT, a one cost card that creates six copies of a troop (read: creature) that just… could not exist in MtG.

Another example of this was in my favorite archetype in Hex: Mill. Now, I’m not normally a blue player. I’m not a big fan of the ‘you don’t get to play the game’ archetype. Even mill isn’t really my thing. But the way it worked in HexTCG? God I loved it. I wish I could see my opponents faces as they reached a trembling hand out to their bloated, grotesque deck, a cruel mockery of what it once was. They had started the match with only 60 cards, but now it held twice that number. Knowing every draw was more likely to bring their own skittering death out.

…

Maybe I should back up a bit.

There the Shin’hare met and allied with the Vennen, an all male race descended from Orcs. They were adept blood mages, and they procreated by kidnapping orcs and using them as incubators for spiders. I fucking love the Vennen. I’ll focus on them a lot in this.

Vennen are, in MtG terms, tribal Blue/Black with a focus on control. Specifically an aggressive form of control. Your wincon is still ‘beat your opponent to death’, but the means by which you do it is… spiders.

Lots of Vennen cards work by still allowing your opponent to do the thing that you blocked, but it now creates Spider Eggs in their deck. Lock down a creature as it enters play with ‘Everytime this creature becomes tapped, shuffle 3 spider eggs into your deck’ or ‘Whenever an opponent draws a third card this turn add a spider egg to their deck’ or ‘When this creature is destroyed add a spider egg to your opponent’s deck’ and when they DRAW a spider egg… well… the effect of a spider egg is more or less ‘When this card enters your hand or graveyard, draw/discard another card into that zone and destroy this one. Your opponent creates a Spiderling and puts it in play. “

Spiderlings are 1/1 Unblockable creatures.

The Vennen win con is to just fill your opponent with spiders and then shred them apart once the spiders start hatching. It was a DELIGHTFUL playstyle.

PvE

Hex also features a fairly robust PvE mode with a point crawl encounter map that was quite delightful. There were cards unique to PvE, but all PvP cards were also legal in PvE. In general, all your staples came from PvP and were the same core staples everyone uses to win (they were very generous with handing out common/uncommon PvP cards in the single player mode, which in turn also made Pauper a very popular format), however you also had PvE cards which made up your win cons. PvE cards weren’t balanced as tightly, and allowed to just be dumb overpowered bullshit just because it’s fun to use dumb overpowered bullshit sometimes!

There were also equipment slots that would modify the cards in your deck, turning PvP cards into PvE cards. For example, Replicators Gambit made it so that EVERY copy of that card gained that text.

PvE started with character creation. You would create a character that was one of the 8 races, and one of 6 3 different classes. Warrior, Cleric, or Ranger. I think there was a late update that added Mage but I don’t recall too clearly, and it isn’t document online anymore as far as I can tell!

Each class had a unique talent tree that you could customize and change how you played. Your race determined what colors you could play, and your level determined how many of each rarity you could play.

I played a Vennen Cleric. Cleric’s whole thing was that you would gain Blessings, 0 cost cards that would rise in your deck each turn, and could be played to draw a card as well as additional effects based on your build. My blessings put more eggs in the enemy deck, to the surprise of no one.

As you went from encounter to encounter you would earn new cards to modify your deck, swapping decks between fights. Then there were dungeons, long laborious streaks of a dozen or so encounters, with branching paths and decisions to be made, earning you tons of new packs and equipment and experience to boost your character. One especially fun encounter was crossing a desert with a pack of… I think it was gnomes? There were 20 of them that needed rescuing. The way you rescued them was putting them in your deck, and then leaving the desert through a single combat encounter. Except they were AWFUL. Like 3 cost vanilla 1/1’s level of awful. The more you had in your deck, the harder the encounter became. It was a really nice way to portray the logistical challenge of trying to fight while protecting all these useless tagalongs.

There were plans to even introduce Raids, 3v1 PvE encounters, but they fizzled out as the game got sunset.

The game was good. REALLY good. It relished in the digital design space in a way I haven’t quite seen since then. A few games, like Legends of Runeterra, have come close, but always fall short, and that’s so sad! I DESPERATELY want to play a TCG with this level of customization again!

Luckily that was the end of it. I finally learned the error of my ways, never touched anything ‘always online’ again, and now can live a life without regrets! … except Legends of Runeterra a little bit like I mentioned above but THATS IT! There are no other always online games I have regrets about!

…

ToonTown Online

Okay no, not seriously. I’ve never played toontown. But honestly it looked kinda silly and like a shitpost in video game form. I think it would have been fun to try at some point with a few friends. Not seriously, just to screw around in for a bit.

Never going to get that chance. Just like nearly everyone reading this will never get to play two of my biggest influences that shaped how I think about game design.

Always Online DRM is an insidious beast. It doesn’t just kill games, it kills *archival*. All we have left of these games is a relatively small number of gameplay videos. I was planning on having a lot more pictures in this post of all the interface elements I was talking about as I talked about them, but there just… aren’t any good pictures of them. Even these details are based on my own memory cross referenced with a couple of wikis, and even those were sparse.

Some games can’t feasibly avoid Always Online. MMO’s are a big example. But by adding it into a game that has a single player experience involved, and not making that single player experience a standalone thing on its own, you are destroying any hope that your game will be remembered. It will fade into obscurity. There will never be a cult revival. Your work will be discarded and forgotten and it’s… so incredibly sad to see.

I jokingly titled this section being about ToonTown, but really this section is about Kingdom Hearts: Union X. It was a mediocre and disgustingly predatory gacha. It was horribly managed with horrible issues around localization and it was just… a mess. But it was part of the world of Kingdom Hearts, and it’s story was important and mattered.

The game is no longer playable, but it’s also not entirely lost. The devs created a new version of it, as a gallery to view the cutscenes. The single-player side mode, Dark Road, is also included. The devs didn’t have to do this. They could have gone the same route as Darkspore and HexTCG, and had their work be forgotten. They chose to save it. Not in full, but at least the parts the deemed important.

It also makes me wonder how much this happens in other mediums. Ludology is a pretty new field, and it rarely goes into specific games and their impact on the medium, mostly just focusing on the impacts they have on humanity, rather than the mechanics themselves as these beautiful pieces of art. And it makes me wonder how often this happens with say… film critics. Are there any indie film makers who are deep in the paint of indie films and critique of not just the films themselves, but the very techniques being used, just sitting there going “It’s so upsetting that this big studio managed to do something this beautiful and all of us in the scene recognize it’s beauty, but no one else seems to, and now it’s gone?”

… as I’m writing this I actually realize that this does happen there. It’s how I found out about what became my favorite film of all time, The Man From Earth. It’s a small film that flopped horribly in theaters, and only gained any attention by being pirated by a lot by indies who wanted to talk about it. It’s a good movie, highly recommend. Not for everyone though.

I don’t know. I’m sure I had a point with all this but… seeing it happen again and again and now with streaming services taking stuff down it’s just… I can’t help but seeing not just more and more games, but more and more of EVERY artistic medium ending up in this area. How many digital artists entire portfolios have vanished off the face of the earth because their tumblr got deactivated? How many movies are going to be gone forever when Netflix eventually goes out of business? We can’t even rely on piracy! Many old pieces of media is just lost forever. Just ask the Doctor Who fandom. They probably know more about that than anyone else at this point.

But mostly I just really wish more developers would consider what parts of their games are important, and what kind of legacy they want to leave, instead of just what will generate a short burst of profit, with no care for what happens after.

… I should start doing video essays with how long this got. It’s like some kind of text based video essay. A text essay. Those are a new thing I just invented.

[ash-arts-but-sinful]

This is burning a hole into my brain, but what if new game+ gave you the option to summon Carlo instead of Specter and he offers stupid/witty commentary for each boss you fight with him. Tbh this is just for fun, but I wanted to share in case anybody else might like it

Might have to put this one under a cut it could get long. Also spoiler warning!

Scrapped Watchman

• I never liked cops, this is going to be fun!

• Do we really need a watchman this big?

• Okay Sparky, let’s dance!

• (if he gets picked up) Shit-! -> Ugh- okay that might’ve hurt a little.

• Haha! Good riddance! Don’t know what the local kids saw in that thing.

King’s Flame

• Oh boy, a walking furnace.

• Have I ever mentioned I hate the heat?

• The floor is lava! Shit!

• (if he’s set on fire) I know I’m hot, but this is ridiculous! / Hot! Too hot!

• Sigh, thank god. I could never work alongside that… thing.

Archbishop

• Oh wow, that is… hard to look at.

• Watch the chicken legs!

• Really?! With its tongue?! Disgusting!

During phase 2

• How did he manage to get even uglier?

• You should’ve stayed in your shell!

• God chose you to be an Angel alright. Just not a living one.

Black Rabbit Brotherhood

• Some rabbit, the big guy looks more like a pig to me!

• Would somebody shut her up!

• Half of you aren’t even rabbits! That stupid bucket looks like a dog!

• You are too full of yourself, bunny boy.

• These guys need better fursuits

• Pathetic… And don’t bother coming back!

King of Puppets

• Something feels wrong about this.

• That voice…

• No… It can’t be-!

Second phase

• Romeo?!

• Romeo please! Why won’t you stop, it’s me!

• How do we get through to him?!

• No!!! UGH Why wouldn’t you LISTEN?! *shakey inhale* Damn it, just go! Get out of this damn place.

Victor

• What do you want? Are we killing my best friend in disguise again?

• I finally get to see this guy in action and I’m the one who has to fight him! Seriously?!

• This guy really is all washed up.

• That can’t be good for you.

• Yikes, those fists pack one hell of a punch!

• That Simon guy is a real piece of work. Good luck with that.

Green Monster

• Ohh this thing looks disgusting.

• It sounds disgusting too, I think I’m going hurl!

• It slimed me!

Phase 2

• Not the giant cop again!

• Would you! Just! Sit! Still!

• I can only imagine what it smells like in that puppet chassis.

• That was truly vile. If you ever need help fighting a giant slime monster again PLEASE hesitate to ask.

Black Rabbit Brotherhood 2

• Didn’t you learn your lessons last time?

• Lord, are these guys full of themselves.

• If you couldn’t beat us last time what makes you think you can this time?

• Looks like the pig wants his bacon cooked again!

• You had to mutate yourself because you wouldn’t beat us last time? Now THAT is pathetic.

• Still losers. Still pretentious. Still pathetic. How disappointing.

Laxasia

• Hmm. Big sword.

• Oh and it makes lightning too, great!

• How can she move so fast with all that armour!?

Phase 2

• Ohhhh good, now she’s even faster!

• Weakness to it or not electricity still hurts like hell!

• There she goes into the air again. Coward!

• Well that wasn’t fun, but I suspect it’ll be even less fun in that tower.

Simon

• Isn’t that the guy from the exhibition?

• This guy is a real piece of work.

• And I thought the rabbits were full of themselves!

Phase 2

• I didn’t think it could get any worse!

• Who needs this many hands?!

• God or not this guy is going down!

• The last like after Simon is defeated depends on your playthrough: Truth “Until next we meet. Which will be sooner than you think, I can’t wait.” Punctuated by a dark chuckle. Lie “I’ll see you again soon. For what it’s worth though… I’m sorry.”

Bonus: depending on what playthrough you did the Nameless Puppet will actually talk and have different dialogue

Truth playthrough/Lie playthrough

• I’ve been waiting for this for too damn long. / I didn’t want it to come to this.

• You don’t deserve that heart! It’s rightfully mine! / Please, you have to understand! I need that heart!

• You stupid puppet, I hope you didn’t think father actually cared about YOU! / Gepetto never cared for you, I wish he had, at least you could’ve known love.

• Why won’t you DIE ALREADY!? / I deserve to live too, this isn’t fair for either of us!

• You will NEVER be me, just give up already! / You may not be me, but you deserve better than this.

During Phase 2 the puppet won’t speak, but Carlo’s dialogue will be inserted along everyone else’s, tbh I want to have him say something during phase 2, but there’s already so much going on during that fight. In a truth playthrough the ending will play out as normal and Gepetto will die, calling Pinocchio a useless puppet, Pinocchio will be the one to finish off Carlo’s vessel. In a lie playthrough Carlo will finally be able to control his actions and is unable to finish off Pinocchio, he shuts himself down while giving one final line.

“Maybe in another life we could have been… brothers.”

Gepetto is distraught and instead of shedding tears for his father Pinocchio sheds them for Carlo

A lot of his radient dialogue would consist of laughter that borders on unhinged and the usual exertion and damage taking grunts. Regardless of what playthrough you do he wants to keep either his heart or Pinocchio alive, so if his health falls below half he has a chance of reminding you to heal. Also depending on the playthrough he’ll either compliment perfect blocks, parry’s, dodges or hits for lies and for truths he’ll be a snarky asshole, claiming he could do just as good if not better

[mayflowers515]

@tiaragamin

I played two games of Mario Party 9 not too long ago + a minigame mode!

First time through, I played as Bobby (Peach) with Hoppy, Kickin, and Picky (Daisy, Wario, and Birdo respectively). Kickin chose the board most likely (it was Blooper Beach anyways). So basically some interesting notes I picked up from that + potential hcs...

Kickin seems like he would be pretty good with minigames that require some skill. Bro literally got a perfect strike in Goomba Bowling. Funny enough, Picky also got a strike there- (she was determined ig). Ngl, Hoppy only got 13 points there, but I feel like she might've done better with that minigame (taking account the events that DID happen though, she probably was a little salty Kickin and Picky got it with that much ease-). Meanwhile Bobby didn't get any points. She tried copying what Kickin and Picky did, but... it didn't quite work out for her T^T

Okay, when it came to that and the previous minigame Player Conveyor, it made me think that Bobby isn't the best with certain minigames compared to others. She managed to get better in this round after the mini boss with Lakitu, though. (She struggled with that a little in the beginning but has pretty much gotten the hang of things by the time he was all mad and stuff-)

At one point, Kickin landed everyone on a 1v3 space and he picked the minigame Mob Sleds. I feel like, talking about characters here, he picked that thinking he wasn't going to get caught. But no joke- LITERALLY AT THE LAST SECOND BOBBY GOT TO HIM- Hoppy just dying laughing in the background and teasing Kickin when that happened. Picky was probably like, "Oh damn..." and Kickin is just sitting there with his jaw dropped like- "HOW?? HOW?!?!" (his ego got crushed there lol) Also, made me realize those Wario poses are literally him 💀

By this point, Bobby has gotten a better hang of the minigames. She was likely more desperate to try to catch up at least since she was in last originally- The others are impressed but also probably like "Oh, now it is on!" with her lol (if we're talking character here, she may not be so desperate to the point she would make everyone else get in the path of Mini Ztars, which I feel bad about btw because that's literally what I made her do and then I was thinking back about that decision and made me realize that Bobby would've just taken the Mini Ztars for the party's benefit T^T Ig the excuse I could put here would be that she was desperate because she kept falling behind before)

She still didn't do THAT good with all the minigames though. Particularly Upward Mobility (she wasn't as fast with it as the others were; partially due to my own inability to win that minigame lmao). I think she also does the memory related ones well. She wouldn't have THAT good of a memory as Bubba ofc, but she did good in minigames such as Plunder Ground.

Btw, not only is Bobby a total tild card in the minigames, but she is also pretty much the group's savior. The second the event happened where Mini Ztars were filling the board she just happened to get the right number needed to reverse them back to Mini Stars. The group was probably relieved as heck when that happened-

HOPPY'S MINIGAME SHOWED UP AT ONE POINT :)) Unfortunately she didn't win though 😔 (she definitely would win that more going by character though) Kickin and Picky were neck and neck by the end, and Picky ended up beating him. He was pretty salty about that since he was sure he would win now that Hoppy's rocket fell behind (his ego recovered in that gap between Mob Sleds and Launch Break ig and now it cracked again lol). Bobby did lose ten mini stars from getting 4th this time tho since they got Launch Break through a Fire Bro battle minigame... (this is weird cuz like, you want to feel bad because she keeps getting the short end of the stick when she doesn't win. She got fourth in quite a few of the minigames where she didn't get first, but like- she's also doing very well with them at the same time 😶 She literally kept swapping between receiving 1st and 4th with BARELY an in between- Talking character though, I feel like she'd be more likely to get like 2nd or 3rd in minigames. When she loses though, OH BOY SHE LOSES-

By the homestretch, the party was getting more into the Bowser Spaces (not AS frequently as that one experience that was mentioned for a different round but it was still a lot). Mainly Kickin kept getting those spaces, and let's just say... my dude's got LUCKY with those! 2 times out of 3 he landed on giving mini stars to last place, but the thing is... HE IS IN LAST PLACE LMAO. HE JUST KEPT RECEIVING MINI STARS FROM BOWSER. Even in the one time Kickin didn't get that in the Bowser Roulette he still didn't lose Mini Stars. There was a reverse mini game at one point (Thwomper Room) and he WON. By that point, Kickin was just joking like- "BOWSER SURE LOVES ME TODAY". Hoppy and Picky were just rolling their eyes. Bobby in the background just listening but also being sad that she didn't get out first (she and Kickin got hurt by the thwomp around the same time, but Kickin seemed to have gotten to it a frame before she did TvT' Also ig the excuse for Bobby wanting to get out here is that she couldn't imagine the others getting hurt by the Thwomps lol- The others would be like "Sure sure..." She can be mean against them if she wants to, but probably wouldn't be so mean to the point that they can't recover).

Also thought it'd be funny to mention that during the homestretch, Bobby just to happened to get the lucky space TWICE that led the party to the star island, but Picky was always the one that won all the Mini Stars at the end. She really did get lucky there- After this point, most likely everyone was certain Picky was going to win considering where she stood between the rest of the party, so they started to get a bit tense about that I think lol.

Near the end with the Bonus Stars, I genuinely thought Picky was going to win the Minigame Star since she kept getting first in many minigames. I guess I didn't keep track of how often she did, tho- Bobby still won it despite how many times she got 4th in some of them (she has really gotten better near the end ig). Speaking of Bobby and Picky, Picky had a LOT of Mini Stars in general, but because of Bobby landing on the Boss Battle space, receiving first place from Wiggler AND the captain bonus, I'm pretty sure that was the upper hand she needed cuz SHE WON!! Nobody was mad completely though since she was getting kind of screwed during the rounds. Though I can imagine Hoppy used what Kickin said earlier about Bowser loving him to her advantage though since he ended in 4th lol. Hoppy herself got 3rd (she was a little salty about that since she thought she'd do better, especially with the minigames but they were surprisingly not her strong suit this time. Kickin probably tried to tease her back about that lol). Meanwhile, Picky was just proud of Bobby for winning, though deep down kinda sad because she thought for sure she would win ;v; Bobby beat her by ONE mini star lol. For context, Bobby got 71 Mini Stars, Picky got 70, Hoppy got 53, and Kickin got 46.

Alr, second time through, I decided to play as CatNap (Shy Guy) with DogDay (Toad), CraftyCorn (Yoshi), and Bubba (Koopa). The board chosen was Toad Road since two out of the four Critters in that round (DogDay and CraftyCorn as was mentioned before) have that as their favorite. So what happened here that could be potential hcs? Well...

Not TOO much happened at the very beginning. Though at 10 to Win, I can imagine Bubba was absolutely trying his hardest to remember where every single card was despite how scrambled they all were. He didn't do too badly, but some of the cards were mainly ones he didn't want to get completely. CatNap's the opposite I imagine. He just chooses whatever seems right. That didn't work too well for him in this round, though (he got last ;-;) Crafty kept getting cards that supported everyone from what I remember (probably relieved her to know she could've gotten worse than she did). Pretty sure DogDay mostly won because of the cards the others chose (like a 1st card Bubba ended up getting at some point, DogDay was in 1st at the time and I can imagine Bubba just facepalmed when he did that-)

Just want to mention that Shy Guy's fourth place animation did make me think of CatNap, though I feel like if CatNap showed how he'd react to last place, he would just sleep away his sorrows if he got last lol

Speaking of CatNap, I feel like he's a menace in Mario Party. Like, anywhere else he's pretty chill, but make him play a game? Oh, it's like there's another side of him sorta- (he still keeps his laid back energy but he's clearly having fun against the party) Mainly thought of that because of him getting a 1v3 minigame (Spike-n-Span) and he pretty much wasn't holding back. He got EVERYONE.

I guess Bubba learned about how easy it was for CatNap to win that minigame because literally when he landed on a 1v3 space himself, HE CHOSE THAT SAME MINIGAME- He probably leeches off of the experiences he witnesses in the game and uses what he has seen to his advantage (it doesn't help for the others that Bubba has really good memory so he would probably know what to do to win; this could go for Mario Party in general tbh). Unfortunately, Bubba lost the minigame that time- Ironically enough tho, CatNap got out first lol

Every time the party kept getting Bowser Jr spaces, it was because of DogDay. I find it funny that Bowser Jr always paired him with CatNap tho (probably bc of him being first player tbf tho). First Bowser Jr minigame they played together wasn't so good. They played Sand Trap, and CatNap was a little confused on what to do. DogDay wasn't faring much better though. I feel like he was mainly waiting to see what CatNap was planning so he took his time. When they lost that one, I feel a part of CatNap was probably thinking "If we go down then we go down together :>" but another part of him felt bad because he legit had no idea what he was doing. DogDay was likely assuring him after that, hopeful that they'd win against Bowser Jr again next time. Sure enough, when DogDay landed on another Bowser Jr space, they did :) That minigame was Double Pounder. The instructions were easier for them to understand by that point. CatNap didn't really mind that DogDay got Mini Stars too that time (pretty sure DogDay wasn't in first by that point from what I remember). DogDay was just happy the two were able to win together. Probably gave CatNap a small hug after that. (Meanwhile Bobby in the background is just going: AWWWWWW 🥹🥹)

Oh yeah, Crafty was just chilling with her first place status in the first half too. She had about 33 mini stars during that point. She's not exactly planning on bragging about her status. She was just internally hoping she wouldn't get destroyed later TvT (she got this ahead because of a lucky space she landed on where climbed up a vine and got all the mini stars in that area- 12 MINI STARS) At some point, CatNap was catching up to her in terms of Mini Stars so there likely was some tension by that point. Crafty is just scared but at the same time defensive about her stars. Meanwhile CatNap was probably just silently hoping something happens to her stars and that he can get ahead-

This especially shows when Crafty got the Captain event. She legit chose CatNap to go last 💀 She was hoping it would be less likely for him to get the stars at the end if he was last. For more context, she chose Bubba to go first, then either herself or DogDay, but considering she was still in first, I think she was thinking that she could get the Mini Stars if she rolled high enough, so she would've needed to be the third person to do that- Unfortunately, Crafty's ploy didn't go too well. CatNap STILL got the stars at the end. Pretty sure that made them even in Mini Stars by that point-

CatNap just casually dominating most minigames... Pretty much like that with minigames like Pinball Fall. My guy literally didn't fall down a hole ONCE during his run- I think he probably has a bit of luck similar to Picky but he also is genuinely determined to win and happy to see the others struggling in the minigames deep down. Doesn't exactly voice this, but if you paid attention to his expressions, you'd know

Also, I think CatNap just pretty much wins a lot of the Reverse Minigames. The minute he hears that's what happens when the group lands on a Bowser space, he's like "K. I always wondered what happened if I just willingly jumped into this" in the most casual tone. DogDay would just look back at him concerned-

Meanwhile for Bubba, poor guy barely won many of the minigames (much less end up in 1st). I feel like he would still do very well in certain minigames taking character into account. He probably wouldn't be super fast though since he would prefer to calculate his moves I can imagine. Probably why he waited so long to even try to hit in the minigame Logger Heads (ironically enough though, he still ended up hitting a bomb at one point-) What made things worse for him was that he got no points and it was a Bowser minigame where they fought between half of the whole party's Mini Stars. He was already in last place by that point. He was likely frustrated about that, but pretty calm about the frustration anyway. Just silently facepalming and grumbling at himself for doing something he sees as dumb. Can also imagine that in general, Bubba would get much more quiet if he was in last due to the frustration but also because of trying to focus and think about ways to get himself back in the game. The party would probably be concerned about that-

Okay, I just wanna say for the record... The bosses in this round are the exact same as last time. For highlights there, Bubba got the captain bonus for the Lakitu boss and Yoshi's 4th place animation legit made me think: "Yeah, that looks like Crafty right there" because I could imagine her doing that 🥺 As for the Wiggler boss, CatNap was literally dominating everyone in that. He didn't even lose any points either. He also had the captain's bonus lol I imagine he just did all that with the most chill expression ever, too lol. He'd probably just be like "Imagine losing..." to everyone else in a casual way. If Kickin was playing against him, he would get offended by that so much lol

Speaking of dominating, there was NO CONTEST with the winner by that point. CatNap beat everyone by at least 60 MINI STARS- HE GOT 104 TOTAL COMPARED TO CRAFTY'S 40, DOGDAY'S 37, AND BUBBA'S 30 NEAR THE END- I blame that on Logger Heads tbh. The minute that minigame happened, CatNap just dominated Crafty in winnings. There wasn't really a chance for her to win now T^T Bubba was disappointed in himself but at the same time, not surprised that CatNap won now. He also blames CatNap's winning on Logger Heads and luck (since CatNap could get the captain's bonus easily since he was only a couple spaces away so he could use his 4-6 dice he kept on him) Meanwhile DogDay is just absolutely amazed by how well CatNap did. No bad blood against him at all. He's just happy for him :> (We love the golden retriever and black cat energy)

Finally, I decided to do one of the minigame modes for fun. I chose to play as Kickin this time and also adding Bobby, Crafty, and Bubba. I chose for them to do Choice Challenge. They had to choose between five minigames, which were Thwomper Room, Urn It, Tuber Tug, Polar Extreme, and Pit or Platter.

Bubba was the only one to choose both Thwomper Room and Urn It. LITERALLY JUST HIM. He got 200 points right off the bat. Bobby and Crafty were pretty worried by that point, but Kickin wasn't at all expecting that- He was probably making sure he won the next minigames he chose. Funnily enough, he was trying to go for Thwomper Room, too, but he must've accidentally chose another minigame. It would've been a StarStudent matchup there (sorry StarStudent shippers ;-;)

Bubba didn't choose Tuber Tug and Polar Extreme but Bobby, Crafty, and Kickin did, so it was literally just competition against those three for a bit. They practiced Tuber Tug first through Kickin's plea because he was wanting to make sure his Wii Remote worked (he wanted to make sure he could dominate his competition- Don't blame him). I can imagine Hoppy would likely be calling him a chicken in the background for not going straight into the minigame despite knowing how to do it. Either way, Kickin won the minigame and got 100 points. Crafty got 50, and Bobby 30. No practice was done for Polar Extreme as the instructions were simple. (Btw, this was the minigame Kickin accidentally picked over Thwomper Room-) All three of them still never made it to the goal, though Bobby survived the longest so she won. This time Bobby got 100 points, Kickin got 50, and Crafty 30. Considering how well she did with the minigames last time they played together, I can imagine Kickin would get pretty suspicious of Bobby. Though he isn't nearly as worried about her as he is with Bubba. Y'know... THE DUDE WHO GOT FIRST PLACE AND DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TRY TO GET THERE.

Everyone chose the Chance minigame, Pit or Platter. Kickin's ego was probably kicking in again by that point because he's usually good with skill minigames. This one wasn't his best attempt at it though. Hoppy calling him out probably cut him deep so he didn't choose to practice this time, even though he probably needed it- Either way, he just wanted to make sure it wasn't Bubba that won. Sure enough, Bubba didn't win that minigame. Bobby did

Bobby really proved to be a wild card when it comes to minigames, but it actually goes in her favor this time- She actually won against Bubba by 30 points. She had 280 and he had 250. Crafty and Kickin were pretty far down in terms of points though. Poor Crafty didn't get first place once- Kickin meanwhile is just glad Bubba didn't win but also a little salty that Bobby won since she won against him last time- It didn't really matter to Bobby that she won anyway. She was just happy to play with her friends. She let them know that too through her usual affection :>

(Sorry this was so long, but I had a lot of fun doing this- It's not everyday I'm able to play on my Wii due to college stuff 🙃 I hope you liked what I listed tiara, and in general, I hope y'all enjoyed =v=') Speaking of tiara, credits to her for the Mario Party 9 headcanons idea for the Smiling Critters. These were fun to come up with :)

[falconfate]

hades ii spoilers relating to the major boss fight and what happens after it below the cut

ok so we DO get a pact equivalent, and it is just as snarky as the old one, possibly snarkier. fear is for the weak, is that what you think YES IT IS PLEASE STOP TORMENTING ME WITH REFERENCE TO ACHILLES. ALSO WHERE IS HE.

surprise surprise i do NOT look forward to dealing with ANY of it, except maybe the timer, because that’s not actually terrible in the grand scheme of things. I do like that instead of having to do higher fear (equivalent of heat in this case) to get more boss rewards, it instead grants new unique rewards, and i do think linking it to particular bosses is interesting, but lemme tell ya i do NOT look forward to having to fight eris with this, i beat her by the skin of my fucking teeth lmao FUCK the rail—

anyway.

gotta say, chronos boss fight? not as horrendous as i was afraid of! definitely a tough-it-out kind of fight, i DID really only win because i had selene’s health-refilling hex on top of skelly’s tooth and a death defy, BUT i managed to get through the first phase without losing either of those death defies so. honestly pretty stoked about that. i love how the actual story of the game encourages you to take your time, to not just focus on clicking but to actually slow down and notice and learn from the patterns—chronos LOVES patterns, his fondness for mechanics is built into his actual bossfight mechanics and i LOVE that. his hits pack a wallop, but only if you let him hit you—to a certain extent, at least, because he’s also very fast. his second phase is annoying but also, again, not as terrible as i expected—what i love about this game, and something i loved about og hades as well, is that foes, especially the bosses, are usually building up their moveset from smaller previous foes, and a lot of chronos’s moves are reiterations of moves from earlier enemies; with his own special twist, of course, but still familiar with their basic premise.

hopefully im up for another good run or two after i get a shower because i REALLY want to find [REDACTED] again and give him the good news, maybe see if he’ll let me give him some nectar this time gods damn it, let me show you AFFECTION—

anyway. anyway. at the edge of my seat waiting to see more from supergiant. in the meantime sobbing into my chair.

[eaglefairy]

We're back with more xenoblade 2 aND SHE KEEPS PULLING RARE BLADES. HOW. WHAT.

First pull of the day is Azami. Sure. Why not.

Next two are commons. I guess it isn't all rare blades but I'm thinking of my fruitless quest for Zenobia in my own game and sighing

The Tora-Tatazo reunion got her a little emotional. It's a sweet scene!

She does really like Perun (who she pulled last time), she'll probably join the party sometime soon

Roommate wants everyone to know that she was in fact kicking Rosa's ass before the cutscene started and showed us losing

Patroka appeared on-screen and my roommate is like "OH! WHO ARE YOU?!"

So yeah new crush. extremely predictable

The fact that we've been interrupted twice in the middle of battles going very well in time for a cutscene of us losing is getting annoying

But we're both whooping and hollering now that Mórag and Brighid are here so maybe it's fine after all

She just said that Patroka and Mikhail are her new favorite members of Torna and I'm hyped! Mikhail is one of my favorites (and I'm always ready to mourn a female character's lack of personality)

Pulled a few blades on Mórag (because we wiped against Mikhail and Patroka. whoops.) and the first blade she pulls is Electra. The absurd rare luck continues

We're watching the flashback with Addam in his cloak and my roommate is theorizing about why his face is hidden and if it'll be relevant later, and...

Me: "So remember how I told you that there was an important character whose model they didn't finish in time for launch?" Roommate: "...Addam?! They didn't finish Addam's model in time for launch?!"

"current praetor is Indoline". That's what Mórag says. Have there been praetors who aren't Indoline? When??

We had to pause for a second to summarize some cutscenes and after that the first question my roommate asked me is "wait, if Amalthus was Malos's driver, why does anyone trust him?", which is exactly the question I'VE been asking since I first played it!

We've successfully managed to pivot from "Mythra's a total bitch and I hate her" to "oh no, you poor girl" and all I had to do was tell her that Torna was a country 500 years ago! So easy!

She doesn't trust Fan la Norne at all and I'm just like "it isn't her fault...it's the brain damage..."

Malos: "That guy..." Me: "What, your boyfriend?" Roommate: "HA! Oh, his eyes were definitely looking down there." Me: "'Hate to see him leave, love to watch him go,' right?"

Oh and then we're doing the Leftheria flyover and my roommate sees the name and she just: "Oh, Leftheria. That's where that fucker lives." Me: "...'that fucker'? You mean the main character??"

We were chatting about the biblical allegories while doing some siequesting and settled on the idea that Addam and Mythra each have some shades of the Adam and Eve archetypes, while Amalthus is the snake who damns them both

It's very very funny that the quest dialogue doesn't change when Mórag joins the party. So far she's been assumed to be a Garfront mercenary (note: not Urayan, DEFINITELY not a mercenary) and asked to join the Gormotti military regiment (lol)

No context roommate quote: "Don't tell me Mórag's above beating children, because I know she's not!"

She just now noticed the cloud ridge and she very much dislikes that the sea can go up. "Why is it doing that?! I don't like the Cloud Sea, it's creepy."

We got to the other side of the ridge and just jumped down and swam to Fonsett. Absolutely not the intended route but it was pretty fast!

Roommate: "Aw, Rex and Pyra are going on a date." Me, knowing it's to see Rex's parents:

[fanfic-scribbles]

Dinner Date Chapter 26

Masterlist

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers has a girlfriend. A prickly, generally asocial girlfriend, but they make it work. They have more in common than some people might think.

Quick Facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 26: Trip Trip

Chapter Summary: A trip to DC is made, and something new is realized.

Chapter Word Count: 6011

A/N: This chapter took some doing. But after a lot of cutting and reworking, I think it came out all right =) Apologies to anyone in/familiar with DC because I did barely any research and a lot of the movie was filmed in Cleveland so I did what the pros do and just Made Some Shit Up about Sam’s neighborhood. Sorry <3 Hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I have…a vague idea of what I’m doing after this, but we shall see how things actually play out >=3

~

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just…nervous.”

“Uh huh. I didn’t notice.”

I looked at him and followed his gaze down to the armrest. The whole thing was shaking from how much my hand was moving. (Not that my hand was shaking; I was just...fidgeting.) Still, Steve looked so damn amused I put my hand in my lap and looked away. Jerk.

“Hey,” Steve said and when I refused to look again, he stole my hand for a quick kiss. I glanced around on instinct, and he just grinned at me.

“You’re terrible,” I said softly, but I smiled despite myself.

“It’s a quick plane ride,” he said.

“And you’re pretty meaty if we don’t make it all the way,” I said.

He gave me his best smart-ass look. “You mean if we go down in Philly?”

“Exactly.”

He rolled his eyes and I felt a little better for having annoyed him less than a day into my vacation. Packing and planning had taken up a lot of focus, and I was really behind on my daily quota.

Though it was then I noticed he was sitting pretty stiffly. But then he relaxed so fast I wondered if I was just imagining it. But no, he kept shifting like he was almost as antsy as I was. I almost called him out on it but something in his expression made me stop. Well, we couldn’t both be nervous wrecks for the plane ride. What to do…

I pulled out a piece of paper, made a few lines, and set it on the armrest between us. “Here,” I said and held out the pen to him. “I’ll let you have first go.”

He looked and did a double-take. “Did you seriously make a tic-tac-toe board on a sheet of paper?”

“What, is it too high-tech for you?” I said and hit him with the pen. “This is a travel classic. Now make a move, loser.”

He rolled his eyes, but he snatched the pen and did make his move. It took him all of thirteen seconds to annihilate me, so I scratched out the board and made a new one.

“Hey!” he said with some actual offense.

“That was a fluke. I need a do-over,” I said and though I tried to keep hold of the pen, Steve managed to wrest it back and write his name over the scribbled board.

“For the record,” he said.

I actually laughed. “Yes, let the record show you beat me at a game of tic-tac-toe. Truly your most impressive accolade.”

He gave me a sneaky grin, but he let me move first on this game. This time it took him almost twenty seconds to beat me– mostly because I spent some time at least trying to pick a good spot. Again, I scribbled out the board, claiming shenanigans, and again he wrote his name, claiming his all-important record. By the time the plane was actually ready to take off (fucking finally) the paper was covered in tic-tac-toe games which were in turn covered by Steve’s name. There was one with mine, but that was because I took the paper away, made the board, then quickly drew my three-in-a-row.

“That doesn’t count,” he said as we put the pen and paper aside in favor of belting up for takeoff.

“It counts because I say it counts,” I said. “You won seventy-bajillion games; give the drummer some.”

He looked thoughtful, glanced around, then snaked a kiss to my neck so fast I only knew it happened because I felt it. And as soon as I tried to tell him off for it, there was the flight attendant in all her professional glory, walking the aisle to make sure we did as we were told.

“Dick,” I said quietly after she passed. “You know you’re the only one observant enough to get away with that.”

The smirk he gave me let me know I was going to be in for one frustrating flight.

~

We made it without somehow going down in the Andes, and considering we were just in town for a long weekend, getting our bags wasn’t any more complicated than Steve dragging them down out of the overhead and leading the way off the plane. I was happy to be out in a semi-open area again, and even happier to be making our way out of the airport entirely.

“See? No cannibalization necessary,” Steve said and slipped my bag away as I tried to take it from him.

“Hopefully we’re as lucky on the way home,” I said and tried to get it again, only for him to slip it back and hit me in the ass with it. “Steve!”

“I’ve got it,” he said, but he grinned, and I just barely dodged the battering ram again.

“I hope you got two beds because at this rate you’re gonna be on the floor tonight,” I said and barely missed getting run over by someone rushing past on their phone.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t kick me out of bed?” Steve said and moved closer to me, but didn’t try whapping me with the bags again.

“In your apartment,” I said and stuck close to him as we moved through a sudden burst of people. “In my bed or shared travel beds, all bets are off.”

“Even if I’m paying for the travel bed?” he asked, still smiling like a little shit.

“You got me out of the house,” I said. “I wouldn’t leave it without something comfy to lay and or sit on. That is the price you pay for my otherwise priceless company.”

“Well, that’s worth it then.” He leaned into me a little. “Lucky me the room has a couch.”

“We’ll see how lucky you feel after twenty minutes on it.” A hotel room couch with a throw blanket? I was honestly being generous even with his stubbornness.

~

Technically we both took the couch. At first. Play-wrestling just inside the door of our (very nice) room turned into hands ‘accidentally’ sliding around spots they weren’t ‘supposed’ to, which turned into predictable grabbing, gripping, holding, and a pretty nice make-out that killed enough time that I was ready for dinner when we came up for air.

“Huh.” I gave the cushion a little bounce. “Yup. Hotel room couch sucks.”

Steve laughed. “Are you preparing yourself for grading Sam’s couch?”

“I think you’re gonna be trying to apologize like hell and crawl into the nice bed within five minutes,” I said and stretched. “Are you hungry? I’m fucking starving.”

“I could eat,” he said. “Do we want to go out, or do we want to try room service?”

I gave it some thought. “How’s your social meter after the plane?” I asked.

“I didn’t really interact with many people,” he said.

“Uh huh.” That was indicative of an answer, but I wasn’t letting him off that easy. He never would for me, and if you couldn’t torment your loved ones in the name of their health, what were relationships even for? “How’s your social meter after the plane?”

He let out a little huff, but after a requisite moment of stubbornness he then gave me a tired, crooked smile and admitted, “Not great.”

I pulled the room service menu off the table nearby and smacked it against his chest. He huffed and opened it, but I had a thought as I leaned over his shoulder. “Should we split it?” I asked and winced at some of the prices. They weren’t as egregious as I feared they might be, but they were still pretty up there as far as my limits went.

“Don’t worry; I’ve got it,” he said and bumped me.

“You paid for the whole trip,” I said.

“So let me pay for it. I invited you, and I’m good for it.” He gave me a smile. “Besides, with all the time I spend at your place I probably owe you a couple months’ worth of rent at this point.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” I said and poked his side hard enough to make him jump. “I like having you there.”

“And I like having you here,” he said and reached around to jab my side.

“Well fine then,” I said and hung off him (and tried to only read titles and descriptions; not egregious or otherwise, the cost was still more than I felt deserved for food that was probably going to come lukewarm). He seemed a little too serious then, too into reading a menu, so I kissed his cheek. “I’m glad I’m here too. Thanks for inviting me.”

“I’m happy you came. Even if you did have to leave your apartment for a few days,” he said with a small smile, and then we were distracted by food.

Distracted by food, and then just…distracted, to the point where Steve looked away from his meal and stared at the curtained window for several long seconds.

I reached out to touch him and he jumped a little, even. He coughed as if to cover it up and stood. “You know, actually, I’m feeling a little wired still; maybe I should go for a run…”

He looked like he might trip and fall on his face if he tried. “Steve, if you need some time alone you can stay and I’ll go take a walk or something,” I said. “Really, you…kind of look like you might cross the street without remembering to look and get hit by a car or something.”

“I’m not that tired,” he said defensively.

“You’re thinking real hard about something,” I said. He didn’t have a response for that, and still looked a little lost. I stood. “You know, the tub looks really nice; I think I might take a bath.” I hesitated, but… “And if you do decide to take a run, leave me a note at least, yeah?”

“Okay,” he said and I grabbed a few things before escaping to the bathroom for some enforced private time. If I gave him a half hour I figured that would be good enough either for him to get his head on, or to decide he really did need some air and run out for a bit. It wasn’t a hardship though– the tub was very nice, maybe big enough to fit the both of us, and I soaked until the water was no longer nice and steamy, and then I took extra time drying off, getting dressed, putting away the extra toiletries in case they’d give us more…

When I came out Steve was still there, to my great relief, slumped in the armchair and staring through a crack in the curtain. I went and leaned over him from behind to kiss his head, but before I connected, he leaned his head back and moved to meet me in a real kiss.

A little distracted still, but more settled. I’d take it. “The bath is really nice,” I said. “I left you hot water.”

He grinned crookedly. “I don’t think they’re gonna run out here.”

“Well I still made sure I did. On purpose and everything,” I said and bonked my head against his.

“Thanks.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and with nary a quip about me not being a jerk after all, took a change of clothes and went right into the bathroom.

I sighed. Oh but he was in a weird mood. And considering we were on a tight timeline for the weekend to squeeze in Peggy and Sam around Sam having a job (and a life, I could hardly believe I knew someone with one of those), I picked up my phone.

Me: So I don’t know if I should say this but fair warning I think Steve is feeling weird about me meeting Peggy so hanging out with us tomorrow might be awkward if you wanna bail? Sam: Ah Sam: It’ll be fine Sam: When it comes to Peggy he stews a bit but he gets on Sam: He’s been doing a lot better with that lately jsyk ;p Sam: It’ll be okay. I’m looking forward to seeing you

Despite the weird air, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Me: Okay cool Me: Cause same Sam: Are you okay?

Oh. Feelings.

Me: I’ll be fine Me: It’ll be weird but maybe it’s supposed to be Me: Not a lot of etiquette on this TBH Sam: So don’t sweat it. Just take it easy

I plugged my phone in and flopped onto the bed. Take it easy. Right. I was only going to meet my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, who had fought in a war and forced her way into history and politics and had a list of accolades that had to be scrolled down. More personally, she was someone my boyfriend was still a little bit in love with. And from how he had already warned me she could ‘seem kind of stern’ and ‘was a little bit overprotective sometimes,’ I could read between the lines that said love was very likely mutual.

Right. Don’t sweat it. Easy.

Fuck.

~

The ride to the home where Peggy lived was quiet. And quick. It felt like I was barely getting a decent greeting ready in my head when we parked and I…froze, unable to move at all out of fear of fucking this all up. ‘What if I say something stupid’ had been my recurring fear, but right then I felt like I couldn’t speak at all and what if I couldn’t say anything, what if she greeted me like a normal and reasonable person and I just fucking whiffed it.

Steve said my name and I hurried to get out of the car. But Steve got out, walked around, stood right in front of me, and I just looked down.

“We don’t have to do this,” he said firmly. I looked at him and he was as resolute as I had ever seen him. “I’m not…trying to put you through anything, and you have nothing to prove.”

I was nervous and about to go into a social situation that was going to be inherently awkward from the start. But. “I want to meet her,” I said, even though the hotel room was sounding really, really, really nice about then. “I do. I’m just…nervous.”

“You’ll be fine.” He brought my hand up to press a kiss to the back of it. “I’m here with you. If I didn’t think you’d get along, I wouldn’t put either of you through this.”

Well, there was a point, and Steve was the resident expert. “Okay,” I said, faced the building, and took a deep breath. I squeezed his hand. “Okay.”

~

We went in without incident, or any more of me chickening out, which might have counted for an incident maybe but it didn’t matter because it didn’t happen, and I was perfectly polite when Steve made his introductions.

Which was, honestly, more than she could say.

She smiled. “So, you’re Steve’s little coffee date.”

I…wasn’t sure how to respond to that. On the surface it seemed fine, in any other tone it might have been teasing, but the way it came out made me feel…small. And a quick glance at Steve showed that I was not wrong to feel that way, which was both reassuring and…not.

“Peg,” Steve said, a little sharp, and as nice as it was to feel his hand slide behind me protectively, I did not want to cause a fight between the two of them. Though I did allow myself to relax a little bit, because if she was going to be rude, maybe I could be a little rude too. Before I could say anything, though…

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said in a rueful sigh. “I’m sorry. It truly is nice to meet you. I apologize for putting my foot in it.” And then she smiled warmly. Like she meant it.

That caught me out in a different way. I was suddenly struck with remembering she had helped found SHIELD. Like, an organization that Natasha and Clint and Steve worked for, and Fury and Coulson and a lot of other really, really smart people who were also really, really good at making people feel how they wanted them to feel. And yeah, the rug got pulled out from under them nearly entirely and it was by the skin of some really clenched teeth it still (barely) existed at all, but…but it was enough to make me paranoid. Spy was a skill people like her could turn on and off at will. Could she tell how nervous I was? Should I have tried to cover my–?

Actually; no. I wasn’t stupid but this was not my skill set, so I let it go as much as I could and, mostly, gave up trying to catastrophize and make new conspiracies to be paranoid about. Weren’t first impressions all about manipulating someone’s perception of you anyways? It wasn’t like I was trying to do much different than she was. “I dunno about sticking your foot anywhere; it depends on who you ask,” I said and sat down in the chair next to Steve. “Coffee’s a major food group as far as I’m concerned, so it’s basically like a dinner date for normal people.”

She smiled a little wider. “Normal. But not you.”

“I assume ‘normal’ is a threshold that exists, but I have no idea what qualifies,” I admitted.

“And I don’t think she can manage even if she tried,” Steve said, glancing between the two of us, and relaxing minutely.

Margaret– Peggy?– Miss Carter?– looked at me like she expected me to have at him for it. I lifted my head like I was preening. “He sure knows how to sweet talk, doesn’t he?” I said and only after I said it realized hey, maybe talking about your current boyfriend like that with his ex-girlfriend was maybe out of bounds.

She laughed. Fully. I felt relief bubble up in my chest and Steve rolled his eyes and I thought maybe, just maybe this was going to be okay.

~

“How has he been?”

I thought about that for a moment. Steve had stepped out and I wondered if it was all right to talk about him like this…but if anybody else got it, Peggy (“Do not call me Miss Carter my God do you want me to kill you,” “Peggy!”) would.

“Better, I think,” I said. “He’s…more open, I think. More willing to admit he’s not all right.”

She smiled wryly. “When I heard he was taking time off…well, I feared the worst.” She reached out, wrapped her long, cool fingers around my hand, and gripped. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t really–” But she gave me such a look I straightened my back. “You’re welcome ma’am yes ma’am?”

She rolled her eyes. “Smart mouth,” she said, gave my hand an honest-to-god rap, and leaned back with a real smile as I let out a laugh. Her expression let up a little bit, became a little…sad. “You have to watch out for him,” she said. “He has a hard time asking for help.”

“Boy oh boy do I know that,” I huffed, and she actually laughed. I shrugged and relaxed my posture again. “But most of the time he can be browbeaten into it, at least.”

“Truly?” she asked, not like she didn’t believe it, but she didn’t know I could do it.

“Yeah. I’m getting the hang of it, I think,” I said. “He’s…” I swallowed. “He has it tough, sometimes, but he is doing better. Really.”

Her smile was a mess of something fond and sad and…something else entirely. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear that,” she said softly, her age infusing her words. “Please take care of him.”

“I will,” I said on instinct. “I am,” I amended and sat back. “I mean, I’m kind of a mess, so he’s not getting off easy, but…”

“Good,” she said decisively. “Make him work for it. He never has taken the easy route. Stubborn man.”

“He’s kind of a jerk like that,” I said. “Stubborn and proud and moody and…a lot of things people wouldn’t think, as well as all the good things they do.” I cleared my throat. “But I’ll take care of him, because he takes care of me, and because I lo–”

I…stopped. And swallowed the word. And sat on it. Peggy smiled a little more, but said nothing, and let me have my moment in peace. Somehow, almost telling Steve’s former partner that I loved him was less shocking to me than the full, real, aching feeling that I did. That I didn’t just trust, or care, but with my whole fucking chest…I loved him.

I swallowed again, breathed deep, and moved on. “Hey,” I said, a little shaky, and quickly evened out my voice as much as I could. “Since he’s out, wanna hear the story about how he tripped over his own feet trying to get some food once and nearly caused a domino effect in a busy pizza place?”

Her grin was sharp and sharklike, and for a moment I saw exactly what Steve had fallen in love with. “I want to hear every last detail.”

~

Steve came back, and nearly walked right back out when he heard the tail end of the story I was telling, but he was close enough that I could tug his hand and he fell into his seat with a long-suffering groan, but slid his fingers to lace with mine as I finished the story and Peggy laughed. She then shared a story with me about how he had done the same with half a mess hall and how Bucky had walked in, seen the commotion, shook his head, grabbed Steve by the back of his shirt, and dragged him out before he could get piled on.

“Strong guy,” I said, sticking with a soft nothing comment just in case, but Steve and Peggy looked happy at the memory.

“It was sort of comforting to see; he hadn’t been feeling so well up to that point.” Steve smiled fondly. “It figured he would get his strength back pulling me out of trouble.”

We stayed for a little while longer, but when Peggy started to get tired, and a nurse came in, we begged off to allow her to get some rest. She gave us each a “proper goodbye” (which was definitely an ego boost, when Steve looked surprised that I too got a cheek kiss) and we left before the day wore on her too hard.

We were both quiet on the ride out. But this time I felt…okay. Mostly okay, at least; Steve was stewing in his own head about something, but I felt resolute that I was going to get to the bottom of whatever this mood of his was. I had my own thoughts to wrestle with, but they honestly didn’t need much work. For as much ‘feelings’ as I hated, this was easy. I’d already gone through the trust and caring issues and this felt so natural that I didn’t mind it. I loved Steve, and that was that. And it felt good.

We parked in a driveway of a fairly nondescript house in a pretty normal neighborhood, and sat there for a moment. I pulled up Steve’s hand and gave it a kiss. He jolted, but forced a little smile for me. “Play along,” I said and got out of the car before he could ask why.

Sam greeted us both before we even got to knock on the door. Sam’s hugs were truly some of the best, and I was happy to receive mine, but he lingered a bit with Steve and shot me a look over his shoulder. I gave Sam a little nod to acknowledge the long day, and he gave the briefest roll of his eyes before his smile returned and he stood back to look at Steve, a firm grip on his shoulder. “How are you?” Sam asked.

“Fine,” Steve answered reflexively but corrected before Sam could even call him out. “Just…you know.”

“Yeah. I know.” Sam clapped his shoulder and stood back to let us in the entry so we could toe off our shoes. “Come on in; let me give you the tour.”

“I only care about one thing in particular,” I said as I looked around. It was a really nice house, clean, well-appointed…and the living room was very, very close.

“The bathroom?” Sam guessed and made as if to gesture. “It’s right–”

I walked right past him, circled to the front of the couch, and plopped back on it. I thought for a moment– Sam’s neighborhood didn’t have much, but there had been a small strip mall on the drive in, not too far away. Walkable. I thought about that, and Steve’s quiet mood, and figured it would have to do.

I jumped off the couch and kept a straight face to Sam’s near-grin and Steve’s incredulous ‘you wouldn’t’ expression. “What’s this all about?” Sam asked, his smile cracking open a little more.

“You once said your couch is better than mine,” I said. “I had to test.”

He actually did snort, and Steve held his face, hiding the tiniest smile. A shame– were he in a better mood, he’d have been turning a little red holding himself back from laughing. Maybe Sam would be able to help. I hoped so. “Well then,” Sam said, openly grinning now. “How does it rate?”

“Hmm…” I walked back to the door. “Solid B.” I slipped my shoes back on. “Not too firm or soft, but I wouldn’t sleep on it overnight.” I opened the door, said, “Okay, I did what I came to DC for. Later!” and slipped out, shutting it behind me.

Steve groaned loud enough for me to hear, but Sam’s laughter covered that up quick. I smiled to myself and walked down the steps until I could see Sam in the window. I held up my hands with all fingers splayed to signify ten minutes and mouthed, ‘I’ll be back.’

He was still smiling widely, but he nodded, and I set off on a walk.

~

It ended up being more like thirty minutes. And it was boring; nothing but houses on a quiet street until I reached the tiny shopping center, and half of the storefronts were useless and boring, aside from the biggest place– a drugstore. I stopped in, grabbed a drink to fortify myself for the walk back, and some candy as a reward, and then made the return journey.

The door was unlocked, thankfully, and Sam and Steve were sitting and chatting pleasantly in a little dining nook when I stepped in and took off my shoes for hopefully the last time for a while. The darker shade of Steve’s mood seemed erased as he lifted his head and gave me a smile. I huffed out a breath. Worth it then. Unfortunately.

“Where did you go– oh hell yeah,” Sam said when he caught the king-size candy bar I bought for him.

“The drugstore was farther than I thought it was.” I chucked the other chocolate bar at Steve’s head and then went and fell over onto the couch. “Your couch grade has been amended; it’s great, A plus, and also I live here now.”

“The drugstore wasn’t even a mile,” Steve said so that I could hear his smirk.

I lifted my head to try and glare at him, but he was standing behind the couch and I didn’t want to wrench my neck, so I flopped back onto the cushion. “I don’t even have to go half a mile from my place to get doughnuts.”

“I guess I have to come to your place sometime.” Sam leaned over the couch and grinned at me as he unwrapped his hard-won gift. “Buy you a doughnut. Get powdered sugar all over your couch.”

I turned onto my back so I could scowl at him, but then I considered and had to amend, “Well I am sweating all over yours, so I guess that’s fair…”

Sam lifted an eyebrow as he chewed a bite of chocolate. “You call that sweating?” he said in a resolutely unimpressed inflection. “You would not last five minutes in bootcamp.”

“I think you’re being wildly flattering to imply I would last one minute in bootcamp considering even lacing boots properly is too much fucking work,” I said.

“I’d put money on you getting the figurative and maybe literal boot from the very first second you meet your drill instructor,” Steve said, taking a bite of his candy bar. He definitely looked a lot better. I could have felt bad about that, but honestly a best friend was probably exactly what Steve needed after all that. I couldn’t be everything he needed, and I was…surprisingly okay with that.

I gave Steve a hard look. “You made it through boot camp and you are way mouthier than me.”

“Special circumstances,” he said.

“It’d have to be,” Sam said dryly.

“My girl and my best friend,” Steve sighed theatrically. “Is anyone on my side?”

Sam and I shared commiserating looks. Peggy was right– he was so dramatic.

And I loved him anyways.

~

It was a heady thing. Stupid, maybe, to feel like this when I was just opening my eyes to what was already there, but the thing was– the thing was that Steve loved me too. He hadn’t said it, had never gotten close to the word, but the more I thought about it the more I knew it. And it felt good. It felt so good.

“Do I even want to know what you and Peggy talked about while I was out?” Steve asked, smiling slightly at me. He looked wan and worn in the dim light of our hotel room, but he was still trying to be ‘on’ for me.

“Well we had fun, so probably not.” I slid my arms around him, and he pulled my legs over his lap with one hand while his other set behind my back and pulled the rest of my body closer. I snuggled in, and rested my head partly off his shoulder, just above his chest. “Thanks for bringing me. I’m glad I came.”

He exhaled deeply, and gave me a little squeeze. “I’m really, really glad you did too,” he said. “Thank you.”

I smiled. This might not go over well but…I couldn’t put it off forever. I didn’t want to. “Hey Steve?” I said as a deep, frightening, wonderful thrill raced through me and peace settled in its place, down through skin and muscle and nerves to rest in my very bones. “I love you.”

He froze. But as he swallowed harshly I just smiled more, and when he tried to speak and failed, I said, “Shh,” and snuggled closer and squeezed him tighter, and lifted my head to kiss his face. “It’s okay. I know.” Because I did. It showed in what he did, what he said; in everything he was when he was with me.

“I don’t…no; no it’s not that I don’t– but I don’t kn– it’s just…” He moved his head down and pressed his face to my shoulder, nearly hard enough to cause an ache. “N-not yet, I can’t– I’m so sorr–”

“Shh.” I stroked his hair and pressed a few kisses to what of his head I could reach with him trying to burrow a hole in me. “It’s okay. I can wait.”

He relaxed a little then. I kept holding him, running my nails up and down the back of his neck and head, and I was content to wait for him to settle down and come back to neutral and then get on with the rest of our night like nothing had happened. Because Steve was an expert in many things, and many of those involved shoving down feelings until they came to bite him in the ass. It was just one of those things we had in common, and I really was perfectly content to wait.

Apparently, though, I didn’t have to.

“Oh my God,” Steve blurted out, dismay in every syllable. “I do love you.”

I…

I burst out laughing.

Cuddling was over and I fell back against the side while Steve held his face and groaned. I only bothered to try and get a handle on myself so I could breathe. “Wow,” I wheezed and hit my chest. “The– the disappointment; are y–!”

I let out a yelp as Steve suddenly pressed into me with his whole body. Gently, but I squirmed and laughed as he wrestled me down flat into the cushions and growled, “Not disappointment.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” We settled with him hovering right above me, his hands on mine, palm to palm and fingers laced through. His expression was devious but soft, and I felt myself soften in response. …Mostly. “You're such an asshole.”

“Uh huh.” He leaned down to kiss me. “We’re well-matched then.”

I let a smile crack through. Just a little. I hated to encourage him like this, but he was too fucking cute sometimes. “I guess we are.”

“Good.” But he snorted and smiled wryly. “You tell me you love me and I have an existential crisis. I tell you I love you and you break into hysterical laughter.” He sighed. “That…sums us up more than I’d like.”

“Well, I gotta keep my crown. World’s Biggest Jerk isn’t a title you can slack on,” I said and arced up to give him a kiss that ended up being slower and softer than I intended, but it felt good. It felt right. I fell back down and stared up at him. “That was kind of fast for a crisis though. I meant it– I’ll wait.”

“You’ll wait because you already knew.” He gave me a crooked smile and nuzzled my face before placing a kiss at my jaw.

“Not just because.” I turned my head to put my forehead to his. “But yeah, I just…realized,” I said. “How you show me. How you have showed me.”

He kissed me again, and then actually came down and let his body settle on mine– not wholly, but still a comforting weight. Like a living blanket, and one that would move in an instant if I needed it.

I didn’t intend to test that, but at my deep breath and contented sigh he suddenly jerked up– not away, but definitely off. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“For wha– oh.” I shook my head. “No. I actually kinda like it sometimes when you squish me.”

“You…do?”

I barely had a second to see his devilish smile before he suddenly came down and wrapped himself around me like a fucking boa constrictor. “Steve!” I laughed and squirmed and tried to wriggle out, but he held fast for a few seconds before he let up.

“But I thought you like me squishing you?” he chuckled and lifted himself back up. His hair was mussed and flopped awkwardly, and I reached up to put it back in some sort of order. His smile was gentle and still tired, and I thought of all the ways we could have missed each other, all the many ways we could have never even met, let alone come to this, and yet…here we were.

“Hey Steve?” I said softly. He cocked his head, and I swallowed and shifted my shoulders. “I’m really glad you’re here.” I slid my hands over his cheeks to hold his face. “And I’m really sorry you’re here. Because I love you and want you to be happy.”

He smiled and touched his forehead to mine. “There’s a lot of different ways to be happy,” he said. “And I found one of mine.”

I crinkled my nose. “Sap.”

He grinned. “You love it.”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling again. “I really do.”

~

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

[rissynicole]

“ tell me who did this to you. “ with Dib asking Zim :D

Okay. So, this ask was sent in a long time ago as part of a whump/injury sentence-starter ask game. When I say a long time, I mean the time stamp was August 27th. And I didn’t forget about it, delete it, or file it away. I just got super carried away with it. These writing prompts were supposed to be relatively short, and I ended up writing damn near 3,000 words for this. 

On to the story, itself, I got kind of dark with it. For anyone who wants to read this, that’s just a heads up. It is tagged appropriately, and I implore anyone who is sensitive to darker themes and mental illness to use their best discretion. I did my part by tagging; do your part by abiding by those tags if you know it will upset you.

That said, here’s the story for this prompt.

Prompt: “Tell me who did this to you.”

Characters: Zim, Dib, Computer

Relationships: ZaDf

Words: 2,990

“Tell me who did this to you!”

Zim began to murmur some response, but the already incoherent words tapered off into ragged gurgling in the back of his throat. He weakly clutched his midsection and choked down unsteady breaths, seemingly unaware that Dib’s hands were already pressing down on the same area to apply pressure to the wound.

“Zim!”

The lab, dimly lit even when the electricity was working properly, had been pitch black when Dib had entered it. The entire base had been like this—decrepit and void of its usual hum of energy and life. Dib had called for Zim, growing more and more concerned the further down he made it into the base’s subterranean levels. That was, until he heard a faint moan that had managed to permeate the shroud of darkness and silence.

Zim had been on the floor, square in the middle of a pool of dark, sticky liquid. It took only a glimpse for Dib to connect that it was blood. Zim’s blood. It took a closer look, however, to see where it was coming from. Sodden gloved claws gripped at his abdomen, unable to hold on as Dib pried them away. This only led to the pool of blood expanding quicker on the ground. Dib had abandoned his effort at getting a good look at the wound and had turned instead to trying to stop the bleeding.

“Zim!” he shouted at him again. This only earned a faint flick of his eyes in his direction.

“We need to get you to the med bay now,” Dib muttered frantically and mostly to himself.

Zim didn’t reply. He was fading fast and likely didn’t hear a word of what he was saying. His face was ghostly white and almost glowing in the darkness.

Against his better judgement, Dib removed his hands from the wound and quickly shrugged out of his jacket. He hastily wrapped it around Zim’s torso and scooped him in his arms with alarmingly little protest from the Irken.

“Computer, prepare the med bay.”

A beat of silence passed. The room remained just as dark and deathly silent as it had when he’d entered.

Perhaps Dib would have felt stupid if panic wasn’t overtaking every inch of space in his mind. He clutched his phone as best he could and angled it in front of him to cast its weak flashlight over the walls. At the far end of the laboratory, he spotted what he was looking for—the breaker system. Several handles lined the back corner, all switched off. He raced to the other end and flipped them all back on.

He heard the power return to the base before he saw it. It started as a low hum that gradually increased in volume until the floor they were on lit up and Dib was blinded by the light of Zim’s huge computer monitor. He didn’t really stop to take in anything as he raced across the room towards the elevator and ordered it to the next floor.

As his eyes adjusted, he could see just how much blood he and Zim were covered in. It felt unfathomable that so much blood could have possibly been in Zim’s body in the first place. Even harder to believe was that Zim hadn’t yet stopped breathing. In came in and out in weak, shaky bursts.

As soon as the elevator came to its stop, Dib raced out and into the main room. “Do something!”

Despite the snappy order, he was still spooked when several metal arms dropped down from the ceiling. Two snatched Zim away from him while a third deployed some sort of scanner that trailed from the Irken’s antennae and steadily moved downward. It paused noticeably on his torso, then traveled down to his feet before shutting off and disappearing back into the rafters. 

Somehow, Zim managed to open his eyes again. Dib’s breath hitched in his throat. When he had found him on the floor in the base’s laboratory, his eyes had been somewhat alert. Now, they were taking on an oddly glassy quality. Before Dib could react further, the platform Zim was on opened into a trapdoor and promptly carried him away.

Dib blinked. Everything had gone from complete mayhem to stillness in an instant. “What’s going on?” he asked the empty room. His pulse was still pounding in his ears.

“Emergency repair protocols for biological shell,” came the computer’s response from above. “Scan shows severe blood loss from a gunshot wound in the abdomen and through the lower squeedlyspooch.”

“Gunshot wound?” Dib pushed his glasses up on his nose, disturbed by the scent and sight of Zim’s blood on his hand as he did so. “Is he going to be okay?”

“Prognosis: 50% chance of survival.”

Dib’s heart dropped to his stomach. How could this have happened?

His mind traveled back to what had transpired just moments before. He had walked into Zim’s base. Noticed it was dark and eerily quiet. Began searching for Zim.

Dib thought about one of the first things he’d blurted once he’d found him.

“Tell me who did this to you!”

After the precursory “What happened?!” and “Oh my God!”, the very next thing he’d thought to say was “tell me who did this do you!” It was obvious someone had done this to him. Zim hadn’t been anywhere near any tools or equipment that could have led to his injury. Not to mention, the location of it on his body seemed too exact to have been a lab accident. Dib had learned enough over the years to know that the only surefire way to kill an Irken was to target both their body and their life support. Impalement through the abdomen and PAK would destroy the biological and mechanical shell in the same shot and prevent any chance of the PAK operating without a live host.

“Computer…” Dib started, voice weak. “Is there anyone else in the base?”

“Unknown.”

This simple word turned his blood to ice water. Unknown. How could the computer not know? Did being taken offline mess it up somehow? Did an intruder disable its security system? Did it simply not have the capacity to give Dib an answer while focusing its energy on Zim?

Dib opened his mouth to ask another question, then pursed his lips. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be getting any meaningful responses from the computer while it was working to “repair” Zim. It was just as well. There had been a time not so very long ago when the computer wouldn’t have let anything resembling Dib’s bio signature near the base, never mind answer questions spoken from his own mouth.

Deep from a lower level of the base, the sound of clinking echoed up. It could have been nothing more than the computer retrieving something in Zim’s surgical theater, but Dib whipped around nonetheless, eyes wide.

There could be someone in the base right now. The very same person who had just tried to murder Zim in cold blood.

He swallowed thickly and glanced every which way. The med bay was quiet. He crept to the elevator. “Take me to the main level.”

The computer still didn’t respond, but the elevator began its leisurely trek upwards. Dib didn’t even know what he would do if he saw an intruder. Would the intruder still have the gun on them? Would it be some sort of Irken plasma gun or a typical Earth handgun with typical Earth bullets? Would he, too, end up left for dead in a pool of his own blood if they crossed paths?

The elevator slid to a stop, and Dib stepped out of it meekly. The front room was utterly silent, television powered down and lights flicked off.

He peered into the kitchen. Nothing. A glance at front door revealed that it was just as he’d left it when he’d walked in, closed with only the bottom lock in place. He turned his head towards the couch. The cushions were perfectly aligned with both pillows arranged neatly at either end.

“Hello?” he asked the room, shivering at the sound of his voice as it pierced the air. There wasn’t a single stir in response, though. Still keeping his head on a swivel, Dib stepped back into the elevator.

It occurred to him that the next logical place to check would be Zim’s Voot hangar. It would be a likely place for an intruder to hide… then again, Dib couldn’t recall if the hangar was even unlocked. Zim hadn’t used his ship in years. He couldn’t use it even if he’d wanted to…

“Take me to the next level down.”

The computer did as it was told, and Dib stepped out into the cold, dimly lit room. This level was wholly unremarkable—some storage area where Zim kept his old, junked projects. Many of them were caked in dust, and some had been scavenged from to add to others. The more impressive inventions were near the back of the room. These had been created back when Zim and Dib were actively at each others’ throats. They had also been created back when the Irken Empire was still funding Zim’s mission.

It had been several years now since Zim’s leaders had cut him off. They’d cut him off in every way possible. Any and all funding for his mission was gone, leaving him financially desolate. No transmissions would go through. He had no money, nor did he have the means to order more supplies, be it ammunition, parts, fuel for his ship, or even food. 

Right around then had been the turning point in Dib’s relationship with Zim. They had gone from being sworn enemies to… well, not friends. Certainly not. They were more like two people who checked in on each other.

Once it became clear that Earth would no longer be in any real harm… well, Dib couldn’t necessarily explain his actions. He had taken some initial (and outwardly expressed) joy in the idea that no armada was coming, no shipments of superweapons would appear in Zim’s yard, and Zim had no real means or motivation to accomplish his goal of world conquest. If he had been cut off from Irk, then he wasn’t much of a threat anymore, was he?

These feelings faded over time, though.

It began with one pity-visit to Zim’s house, then became a several. Sequentially came trips to the convenience store to try to find things he could eat. Once it became apparent Zim had no real idea how to live on Earth independently, Dib had taken to checking in on him every now and then.

Hence today...

Dib stepped out of the elevator, trying to stay alert, but wondering all the while who could have targeted Zim. Why would anyone target Zim? He hadn’t really done much in the last few years to warrant it. Dib would know that better than anyone.

To his own chagrin, he was back in the laboratory. With the lights on and his mind not clouded with panic, he was able to properly observe the scene of the incident. Irken blood streaked the floors and coated the walls outside the elevator. It smelled strongly of… something. It wasn’t quite like human blood, but it had an oddly powerful scent to it.

Dib took a few shy steps out of the elevator and looked around. There was something on the floor near the blood puddle, but he couldn’t tell what it was until he got closer. Then, with an overwhelming jolt of confusion and fear, he realized it was the gun.

The one the intruder had used to harm Zim. They had… just left it there…

While it was undeniably Irken, it was small and rather simple-looking.

How had this happened?

It was possible that it was left over from Zim’s own arsenal and had been pilfered when the intruder broke in. Maybe from a squatter who had assumed the base was abandoned? Zim did live rather quietly these days.

It occurred to Dib, too, that the intruder could have been Irken and had abandoned their gun after doing the deed. That wouldn’t be totally out of the question. 

Dib didn’t dare touch it. Instead, he walked around the lab, sharply glancing around for any movement. He turned a corner, towards the area Zim kept old machinery and parts.

“Ahhhh!” he nearly jumped out of his skin, shouting in the emptiness. He slapped his hands over his mouth and stumbled backwards. His immediate thought was that he’d been caught by Zim’s attacker, lying in wait. When his eyes adjusted, though, he saw what it actually was—GIR. 

The robots eyes were a dull gray, and his head was slumped forward next to a toolbox. Nestled beside him was a round purple lump. Minimoose.

Dib examined them closer, going to far as to tilt GIR’s chin upward. They were both free from any visible disrepair. It just looked like they’d been powered down. He didn’t know Zim’s robots could be powered down.

Absolutely perturbed, he took a few steps backwards.

From his periphery, he could see Zim’s massive computer flickering. It had nearly blinded him with its brightness when the lights had come back on, but Dib had been too preoccupied to give it a single glance.

Now, he could see it was a video, playing and replaying on a loop. Some sort of news broadcast, he surmised. Confused, he sat down in Zim’s chair and watched what was happening on screen.

Footage of dead and dying Irkens. The ruins of buildings that resembled the architecture of Zim’s base uncannily. A masterful camera pan of shrapnel floating aimlessly in space. Shrapnel that, when Dib closely examined it, began to take the form of what had once been The Massive. More footage of the first planet, this time overrun with oddly familiar aliens. Dib had seen them before… he knew he had. They resembled manta rays and radiated with a strange, gossamer light in the dark streets of… of Irk.

Suddenly, several realizations hit Dib at once. Those aliens. They were the Meekrob. And that planet was Irk. Zim’s home. They had destroyed the mothership of Irk’s rulers. Quite likely had killed the Tallest in the doing so. Taken over the planet. 

Dib thumped back into the chair, dumbfounded. Zim hadn’t had access to anything beyond Earth in years. He’d tried, of course, to make some sort of connection with nearby spaceships, radio stations, news broadcasts, and of course, with his beloved Tallest. Nothing had been successful.

Until now, Dib thought.

Zim must have been down here, trying to establish some sort of connection for the umpteenth time and had finally done so… only to discover that Irk had been overtaken by the Meekrob sometime during his lost years of computer static and connection errors.

Dib squinted at the taglines at the bottom of the broadcast and realized it wasn’t written in Irken—no, it was written in another, vaguely similar script. This was a Meekrobian news cast. One of celebration.

Dib sat frozen in the chair, taking it all in. The news segment ended, then repeated from the beginning.

Zim must have been devastated…

Another realization hit Dib, this time with a sinking of fear that settled like lead in his stomach. The strange, meticulous nature of everything he’d stumbled upon. The lack of power in the base that prevented the computer from activating security protocols or otherwise intervening. The robots, deactivated and placed carefully in the corner. The gunshot wound that could not have been an accident…

Dib lifted a shaky hand and pulled his glasses off. The other hand cradled his forehead, elbow propped against the consul. “How is Zim’s condition?” he asked at last.

“Survival rate now at 96%. Major organs were not harmed, and only slight cosmetic PAK damage was sustained. Blood loss is severe.”

His shoulders untensed slightly, but the sick feeling in his stomach remained. “Do you—” his voice cracked, and he swallowed thickly. “—Do you mind if I stay for a while… until he wakes up?”

“Sure.”

A couple more hours passed, and Dib remained in the laboratory curled in Zim’s too-small chair in front of the monitor. He’d long since asked the computer to turn off the gruesome footage and was simply waiting in silence.

Late into the night, he was finally allowed back into the med bay where Zim was propped in a recovery bed and awake. His abdomen was notably swollen and wrapped extensively with bandages. He looked both woozy and alarmingly pale, but he was still worlds more alert than he had been when Dib had originally found him.

Dib drifted to his bedside and stared down at him. “Zim…” He had to gather himself before he could repeat the same words he’d asked before. “Tell me who did this to you.”

The words hung in the air between them. Dib’s tone had taken on a quality that, coming from the mouth of any another person, would demand respect. Gone were the petulant, whiny inflections of his youth, and in their place was a certain poise that was easily reminiscent of his own father’s confident speech pattern. Unfortunately, what he had to say often overpowered how he said it. his attempts at persuasion scarcely had any effect on anyone in his life. They certainly never had any effect on Zim. This time, though, he hoped against hope that they would.

The Irken blinked his sunken eyes a few times. Even under the fog of anesthesia, they looked unusually morose.

Dib waited.

Zim opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it. His antennae pressed back flush against his skull. He took a breath and opened his mouth again. “I did.”

[huanglong-diyidou]

You foolishly challenge the great Arataki Itto (itto x reader)

It’s a beautiful day in Inazuma city. The sun warms your skin pleasantly as you take a stroll. It’s become like a ritual for you, going out to take a walk every day. You’ve been told that it does wonders for the body and the mind.

…Of course, that would be true if you didn’t have to encounter a certain oni all the time. He sure doesn’t improve your well-being, what with all the pranks he pulls on you. Of course, by “pranks”, what he really means is just scaring the living daylights out of you. He’d sneak up on you, grab your shoulders and scream in your ears. Every single time he manages to terrify you. Then, he runs away before you even get a chance to react. You had to do something about this. And so, a genius (to you) plan unfolds in your mind…

One day, when you were on one of your usual strolls, you spot Itto having an onikabuto battle with some kid. She seems really focused on the match, and so does he. “Come on, come on, come oooon! I know you can do it- yes! Wait, NO! Nooo, no no no no no no!! WHY??” you hear him yell. This is… the perfect opportunity, you thought as you walked up to him. “So, no pranks today?” “WAAH- Oh, hey! It’s you! I missed you, little buddy!” Itto answers, calling you by that nickname you hate (but secretly love) “I’m not li- anyway. You wanna… come over there for a quick sec? We gotta talk.” you said gravely. Seemingly worried by your statement, Itto nodded and followed you over to a more secluded spot.

“Okay. Listen, Itto… I need to tell you something. It’s very serious.” He was listening intently, growing more and more worried. What is this, are you ditching him for better friends? “I… challenge you to a game. A game of my choosing. If I win, then you leave me alone and stop scaring me all the time. If I lose, then you can.. keep pranking me, but in different ways.” In truth, both outcomes accomplished the same goal. You just hoped Itto was dumb enough not to notice. Luckily for you, a look of immense joy was spread over his face. “Oh, man! I’m totally up for it! Just you watch, you’re gonna lose so hard. In fact, you’ll be losing SO HARD, that you’ll be tasting bitter defeat until the end of your days. I am SO not gonna go easy on you!” Boy, did he have a lot of energy. Itto was extremely enthusiastic and he didn't even know what kind of game you wanted to play. In truth, he was just desperate for a win after seven consecutive losses against those kids. He was very confident that he could win this time, somehow. After all, seven’s a lucky number, right..? “Relax, Itto. I didn’t even say what I’m challenging you to. Look.. it’s very simple. Even you should understand. If you catch me… you win. If I manage to escape you until sunset, I win. Deal?” Itto laughed. “Ooohohoh, a chase?! Are you serious? You have no idea how fast I can be! Prepare to lose!” You decided it was best to catch him off-guard and bolted right then and there. You didn’t bother looking back to see Itto’s astonished face. He barely had the time to yell “Twenty seconds!” as a headstart count. Fine by me, you thought.

Your legs took you far from Itto. You chose this game because you’d been training your endurance, and you actually might stand a chance against Itto’s oni speed (who are we kidding, no you do not.) Looking back, you don’t see him anywhere. You foolishly lower your guard and start walking. Nervously. Suddenly, you hear the rapid clack of his wooden sandals. Terrified, you start running. The thrill of the pursuit was fun. The anticipation of getting caught and the running made your heart beat so damn fast. All while laughing, you keep turning streets in an attempt to lose him. But that doesn’t really work, he sees you too easily because of his height. Not too long after, you felt his nails on your shoulder as he reached out to grab you. One second more, and he snags your top. Pulling you back violently, Itto takes you in his arms with a herculean grip and lifts you up. “Haaah… Hah.. Hahahaaha! I finally got you! You sure are fast, little buddy! You really made me break a sweat there!” he practically yelled in your ears. Again. “Ittooo, let me goooo…” you groan as you swing your feet in an attempt to get out of his grip. “Not a chance! Now that I’ve got you, I’m going to force you to get ramen with me. Come on, let’s go!”

And off to the ramen stall you go. Of course, Itto is still holding you, but bridal style. It’s rather comfortable. It’s like he has experience with holding people against their will. In the end, you ended up having a lot more fun than you thought you would. You can’t help but look up at Itto and smile. All this running tired you out, and the rocking you felt as he walked didn’t help. You drift off to sleep cozily. It’s a miracle Itto didn’t yell at you to wake up. He just carried you back to your house, abandoning any initial plans for ramen.

sweet dreams :)

[fluffypotatey]

watching Leverage: ep 5

GOOD AFTERNOON

funny how fast this show got me in a chokehold

Before:

ok so we got some more backstory on nathan (he was a catholic boy who went to seminary school before becoming an investigator for that infamous insurance company which is hilarious to me because that's the opposite of what happened to a priest i know)

i was surprised that his ex-wife didn't have more of a role in the previous episode. all we got was that she was there when the priest got beat, she called nathan, and she was the one who saw the miracle.

and they make it sound like the divorce happened "recently" (as in it happened after he met sophie) so i'm a little confused. will we see more of maggie? is this it for her little cameo?

i do hope we see more of father paul just because it would be funny if they had a reluctant priest on their side. you know he's always saying that he won't help them and that they should turn themselves in, but when push comes to shove, he's on their side.

but he probably won't be back again T^T a shame

During:

going off the thumbnail....are we getting insight into alec's backstory???? please? with sprinkles and a cherry on top?

oooooh we got WILD WEST music at the beginning

NO NO EW EW EW EW

KILL KILL THE GROSS ELDERLY MAN

"who lives where it's a 107 degrees???" .....*sweats nervously* yeah, who would do that

alec is a doctor who fan....you think he's got a blog on here?

i love parker and her love of fire

also real quick: i like that this opening has our crew already in a heist. that's what i wanna see! how long has it been since the last ep? who knows, but they're still going and that's all i care about

we going slowmo????

oh of course OF COURSE THERE'S A ROBBERY HAPPENING THE SAME TIME AS THE HEIST

this just got complicated

"sophie's still in there" THE CHILDREN KNOW

omg the police guy thinking eliot's talking to him

oooooooooh the plot THICKENS

"i thought those were urban legends" alec:.....you're adorable

no YOU'RE adorable alec

lmao the manager just let sophie sell herself under the bus. better her than you, you thought.

i am l i v i n g for alec and parker as a duo. they could have their own buddy cop spin off as these fbi agents and i would watch it

i love how these guys are already working as a well oiled machine. it is funny how others think they're talking to them just because of the comms

ooooookay there's something more going on with these robbers

her??? who's she????

nathan now's not the time to let people know you know their names. that's a trigger happy dude who is very scared, you will get shot.

damn we only 15 minutes in???? so much has happened! the heist got derailed, there's bigger bad, what is going on????

who??? what did who??? what did they think you did micheal???

ooooh they helping the robbers!!!

YES PARKER MY GIRL

not alec making their list of demands being fucking pizza

NOOOOOO NATE I FUCKING TOLD YOU

SOPHIE IS PLEADING HOW DARE

so close judge. bad math there

THE ROLES HAVE SWITCHED

sophie: you idiot i love you why didn't you exit the fucking door

nathan: love you too

OOOOH PLOT TWIST

alec is the best i know i'm repeating myself but it's true

the fucking fbi "we really did outdo ourselves" they say putting on their aviators DEAD

awww they're riding off into the sunset. on an ambulance. as a family!

After:

i think this is the first time a heist of their actually got derailed. sure, you could argue that it got derailed at the derby, but that was just because Sterling knew Nathan's plans a little too well, so they had to up their game. here, it got derailed because of a robbery that decided to happen the same time as their heist.

how does one deescalate a robbery and still ensure that their heist goes on without a hitch??? apparently all you need to do is befriend the robbers, save their mother, steal the money from the guy you're scamming, steal back the money to give back to the guy you're scamming because now he's the guy holding you hostage, and then frame him for robbery and under the influence.

overall: great episode, we got more sophie/nathan for my heart, alec is proving himself as my favorite character, and the writers are amazing at thinking outside of the box

[neppednep]

So, why *would* Serafall solo all of Dragon Ball?

Damn, didn't think anyone would actually ask that. I'm going to try summarize this instead of going on a massive yapfest like before and finding out there's only a ten picture limit on Tumblr.

Also, slight spoilers for the DxD novels if you care about those things.

This is for fun and Serafall propaganda, so don't take the Serafall wank too seriously.

It still turned into a massive yapfest. So much for summarizing. It was fun enough to write, at least.

In any case, as the leader of the Cult of Serafall, almost 68 members strong, some of which may or may not be Discord bots, I approve this message.

Serafall doesn't solo the DBZ anime though, just the manga. You also can't really use guide statements as mixing/matching guides and taking them at their highest possible interpretation can get real wonky real fast. Looking at you immeasurable speed multiversal Frieza.

We will also be taking Serafall statements at their highest interpretation because I love her and she deserves the best.

TL;DR: Manga Goku is only multi-solar system and MFTL at best. Skip to the next bold text if you want to see what best girl can do.

Anyways, using only the manga Goku is surprisingly weak compared to his anime counterpart. The problem with the manga is, we don't really get many statements or filler that helps Goku, or really any character for that matter.

The best solid statement in the manga that I know of is about Cell who was going to destroy the universe. You have things like Frieza and Cell also being a threat to the universe, but taking the context of their lifespans and the fact they're very powerful with no one to really stop them, it becomes a matter of if they can do it in one attack or if they're going to threaten it overtime. Going with consistency and context, it's most likely the second.

If we do use guides at their highest possible interpretation, that's how we get the macrocosm destroying Frieza who is fast enough to move where time doesn't exist which is less than realistic, to say the least.

Going back to Buu and Goku, we don't even have one galaxy level statement or feat in the manga. In the anime it shows Buu destroying a galaxy and everything, but in the manga the best we get is Supreme Kai yapping about how he destroyed hundreds of planets.

This isn't a particularly good look on its own, so we'd have to scale them off Cell and Supreme Kai, as weird as that sounds.

Starting out, we have Cell as a solar system buster. We all know SS2 Gohan is stronger than that, as he pushed back Cell's blast and killed him. We have that infamous statement about how SS2 Goku is as strong as Gohan was in the Cell Games, but we'll go beyond that and give Goku the benefit of the doubt to give him a boost.

First, Supreme Kai did state he can one shot Frieza, he sensed SS2 Gohan's energy, and he knew the saiyans beat Frieza.

Fast forward to Babidi's ship, he saw Pui Pui and was spooked to the point where he thought himself, Goku, Vegeta, and Gohan would need to jump him. Keep in mind, four bare minimum Frieza level fighters to jump Pui Pui.

Vegeta then managed to completely dominate Pui Pui in his base.

Once again, giving Goku the benefit of the doubt, let's assume Gohan did not get any weaker over the seven years and say his SS2 form was the same power as in the Cell Games, meaning the Supreme Kai thought even SS2 Gohan wouldn't be enough for Pui Pui and base Vegeta would be at that level.

So after all that, base Goku should be a solar system buster.

The problem is even our milky way galaxy is approximately 800 million times larger than our solar system.

Using the x400 SS3 multiplier isn't really reaching that threshold.

Even if want to go off the rails and give mastered super saiyan something like a x5,000 multiplier because screw it, it's stronger than grade 3, it would still only be 40,000 which is far off from galaxy level.

Just quickly calculating speed with power levels assuming they're linear, Goku dodged the solar flare in DB with a power level of 180. We'll make that the baseline for light speed. Namek Goku has a power level of 150,000,000 which is a difference of 833,333 times, that's the last power level we have and I don't really want to speculate but we can safely place Goku above one million times light speed.

Even if you don't accept that and use the special beam canon used against Raditz which is light speed, it wouldn't make much of a difference. Trust me, it won't matter in the end anyway.

TL;DR: Serafall is bare minimum universal and immeasurable speed.

Totally no cope or bias, 100% legit. Trust me, bro.

In volume 18, life 1, Griselda states the third level of Heaven is so vast you can't tell where the end is. Obviously, we all know you can't see the end of it because there is no end. It's an infinite realm. Sure will be convenient for what's coming up.

What's coming up you ask?

Trihexa takes a casual stroll through Heaven in volume 21 and destroys that infinite dimension. In order to destroy an infinite 3D space, you'd need infinite 3D power, which Trihexa did.

I know you may be thinking:

'Hey, bozo. That's not consistent with anything in DxD at all. What drugs are you on?'

You may have forgotten about the 'Loli of the Week #2, 05/25/2022' (Yes, that's a real thing.) the Infinite Dragon God Ophis who has infinite power, and shares the spot for strongest in the world with Great Red and Trihexa which should also mean they have infinite power too.

Before anyone claims she got her power cut in half so she can't be infinite, shut up. Go to school and learn about set theory or alephs.

Great Red and Trihexa also can destroy the universe, as Azazel stated they would in their fight. Fan translations say it's world, but it can also be translated to universe. Plus, the two can really be used interchangeably.

Not gonna go into Trihexa wrecking other mythologies though as that gets wacky.

Now is the fun part where Serafall comes in.

Serafall is one of the people chosen to fight Trihexa for the next couple thousand years, being sealed away with it in a constant battle. Considering she can damage Trihexa and take attacks from it, using the AP = Durability rule we can safely put her on or around his level.

Obviously it's only still alive because it's regeneration. Serafall would have drop kicked that bozo otherwise. Universal Serafall confirmed.

She gets immeasurable speed through Gasper as he freezes time and she can still frolic around and talk about magical girls like nothing happened. She's just that powerful.

She should also be able to move in the dimensional gap which may not contain time as Gasper can't use his sacred gear that, as there isn't really any time to stop.

100% immeasurable speed.

If we really go want to go further, we can argue the Biblical God and all the Gods Trihexa defeated were as strong as they are in their real mythologies, but that's just bullying at that point.

You ain't ready for omnipotent Serafall.

Sorry to all you Goku fanboys but Serafall > Goku.

I'm also sorry to everyone who actually read to the end of this. Not really.

Next time omnipotent Serafall is coming to solo all of fiction. Trihexa was possibly the cause of the Biblical Gods' death, who is stated to be omnipotent in the Bible, making them strong enough to destroy omnipotence.

If anyone has any counter arguments, that's cool but look at this cat.

Here is some of the previous post I discarded because it got a bit boring and the 10 image limit. Behind the scenes content. This was using a hyperliteral Goku. Please do not use these arguments. Ever.