#how do i unwatch a movie

[ninjafuuzz]

some more chain/coffinshipping + text messages shitpost because this is how i cope

[skrunksthatwunk]

i think i mentioned this a while back but im working on an "every kuwameshi" video right (yes it's ridiculous i know somebody take them away from me) and i just need to say im so fucking sick of editing the saint beasts arc </3 pls i love that one normally but this section of the video is like. 70% silent group shots it's so bad and not fun to watch or edit and i hate it :[

[wheels-of-despair]

Hey, if anyone's thinking of watching Sharp Stick for Jon Bernthal - despite the fact that it's written and directed by Lena Dunham - DON'T DO IT, OMG PLEASE DON'T DO IT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FIND SOMETHING ELSE, IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WORTH IT.

[punkshort]

i know who you are | 9. the end

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Joel leaves overnight for a scouting mission. When he returns, you finally confess your feelings for him.

Chapter Warnings: language, amnesia, slow burn, dry humping, some dead bodies 'n stuff, fluff, feelings, smut (18+ MDNI), piv unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), soft!joel, guns?

WC: 9.1K

Series Masterlist

A/N: Two things. One: I don't have the slightest clue how memory loss works and if what I am about to detail in this chapter is even plausible but if television has taught me anything, nothing is impossible only extremely rare. Two: this is the final chapter and it makes me very sad. I wish I could have thought of more storylines to drag this out but at the end of the day, I feel good about how it all came together and I can't thank quite literally hundreds of you enough for reading this each week. It's kind of insane. So, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Also, if anyone wants to toss some one-shot/sequel ideas my way, I am all ears. Much love.

Two Weeks Later

"Joel," you whispered, your head tilted back into the couch cushion while his mouth greedily nipped and sucked at your neck. His hips were grinding lightly against your center and you knew if you didn't stop soon, you would be in trouble. "I think we should slow down."

"Mhmm," he mumbled in agreement, reluctantly pulling his hand from underneath your shirt.

"You're lucky it's still cold enough for me to wear a scarf," you murmured into his hair. He sighed against your neck, finally dragging his mouth away and sat up on the couch while yet another movie went unwatched on the TV.

"Can't seem to get enough of you," he said with a grin, his arm stretching over the back of the sofa. You rolled your eyes dramatically but smiled, pushing yourself up and fixing your shirt before looking at the TV. "Brad Pitt's in this?"

Joel tossed his head back and laughed heartily. "Think he's the main character," he told you, and you scowled at him but he could tell you weren't actually angry.

"Well maybe if you didn't distract me every time we try to watch a damn movie, I would know that."

The past two weeks had been downright perfect. Joel couldn't be any happier. Now that things had changed between you, he craved your touch constantly. Part of him wondered if it was his way of trying to make up for lost time because you weren't wrong: he couldn't keep his hands off you. He had no desire to leave the house or see anybody. All he wanted was to stay holed up with you doing absolutely everything and nothing. He shuddered to think how crazy he would become when you were finally ready to take things further. Tommy will have to drag him by the collar from your bed for his patrol shifts.

"What are you thinking about?" you asked him, leaning into his side and tucking your legs underneath you, only half listening to the movie.

"Patrol," he answered while the tips of his ears burned red from embarrassment, like you caught him doing something he shouldn't be doing. He was perfectly fine waiting as long as it took until you were ready, but it didn't stop him from fantasizing about it. And the fact that he already knew what you felt like, what you sounded like, what made you come undone, worked him up even more.

"How are you feeling about getting back out there?" you asked, tipping your head up to look at him. He didn't seem worried but it was hard to tell sometimes.

"Actually, there was somethin' I wanted to talk to you 'bout," he admitted. "And if you don't want me to do it, I won't. I put you through enough shit as it is-"

"Spit it out, Miller," you said, shifting out from under his arm.

"Now that the snow's melted, I wanna take a couple guys and scout the area for any trace of those raiders," he began, watching your face closely. "I won't go far, but..."

"But?" you pressed, raising an eyebrow.

"But I would be gone overnight. Just one night," he assured you quickly when he saw your face.

"Wouldn't the others have already noticed anything out of the ordinary on patrol?" you asked as anxiety began to squeeze your throat. "I don't understand why you need to go out there."

"'Cause I only trust myself to make sure we're safe," he explained. "If somethin' happened to anyone 'cause I led these assholes to our doorstep, I'd never forgive myself. D'you understand?"

You chewed on your lip and glanced down at your lap as you weighed your options. On one hand, you understood where he was coming from. And if no one else on patrol or guard had yet to see or find anything strange, then Joel would most likely not find anything, either. But on the other hand, just simply leaving Jackson was a risk. And even if Joel didn't find any other raiders, he wouldn't mean he would be safe from whoever or whatever else was out there.

Joel pinched your chin and gently tugged your lip from between your teeth, making you snap out of it.

"Can I go with you?"

Joel's face softened. "No, baby. You don't even remember how to shoot a gun. I can't risk it."

Of course, he was right. "Who would you take?"

He smiled and dropped his hand. "Tommy. Neil. George. Couple others offered, too, but I'm not sure how many we wanna bring. Don't wanna stick out like a sore thumb with ten horses out in the middle of the woods."

You relaxed a bit knowing he would be going with some of Jackson's most seasoned patrolmen.

"Okay," you agreed softly. His face lit up and he leaned forward.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you sighed, looking over at the TV as the credits began to roll. He hooked a finger under your chin and dragged your eyes back onto him.

"Thank you," he whispered before pressing his lips firmly against yours, trying with all his might to pour every ounce of affection and adoration he had for you into the kiss. You giggled against his mouth as he tried to push you onto your back once again, but you playfully shoved his shoulder before breaking the kiss and scooting away.

"We told Ellie we'd meet her and Dina for dinner, remember?"

He groaned as if he were in physical pain and reached out for you but you quickly stood up, wagging a finger at him. He gazed up at you from the couch with his brown eyes all wide and gentle.

"I mean it, thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

You blushed and bit your lip as you slowly walked backwards towards the stairs. "You can make it up to me one day."

Joel's gaze darkened and he dug his fingers into the couch cushion. "Just say the word, baby. Anytime. Anywhere."

You laughed and turned towards the steps. "Come on, we should get ready for dinner."

"In a minute," he said as you disappeared upstairs. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to will his raging hard on away before standing up and following you.

You inhaled deeply, your body heavy with sleep as you struggled to focus on Joel's voice.

"Sweetheart, I'm leavin'."

With a groan, you rolled over and reached out for him blindly, your eyes still not fully adjusted to the beam of light shining in from the hallway.

He smiled and grabbed your hands, wrapping them around his neck. He felt your fingers dig into the back of his neck and shoulders as you feebly attempted to pull him towards you.

You asked him to wake you up before he left for his scouting mission, so he did as you requested but you were so warm and soft and supple under his touch that he was finding it impossible to leave.

Maybe you planned it that way.

"I'll be back late tomorrow. I love you," he whispered, pressing a kiss against your temple, taking an extra moment to savor it. When he pulled away, your fingers tightened around his neck and you lifted your chin, kissing him with an urgency he hadn't expected from your half-awake state.

"Come home to me, Joel," you mumbled, your eyes squinting at him through the darkness. He pulled an arm from around his neck and brought your knuckles to his lips.

"Promise."

It was so hard to leave but he kept reminding himself he was doing it to keep you safe. Regardless of what Tommy thought, something in his gut told him they hadn't seen the last of those raiders. He brought them into the mountains, and he was determined to be the one to finish it.

"I'm still surprised she let you do this," Tommy said a few hours into their travels. George was leading the group while he and Tommy brought up the rear. The forest was silent, save for the birds just beginning to wake in the branches above. After a long, painful winter, it was a relief to hear the first signs of spring.

"What'dya mean let me?" Joel scoffed, but when he locked eyes with Tommy, who was giving him a look that said he saw right through his bullshit, Joel grinned. "Yeah, alright, it took a little work but she understood."

Tommy nodded and went back to paying attention to their surroundings. They were officially in unguarded territory, the nearest patrol route now miles behind them. The trees had yet to fully bloom so it was still rather easy to see through the woods.

"I think you really freaked her out when you left," Tommy said, "she came runnin' to the house that mornin' in a panic. Thought she wouldn't let you leave her sight again after that."

Joel hummed and turned his head so his brother wouldn't see his smile. He didn't want to worry you, but every time he heard something like that, it reminded him how much you cared, even if you couldn't say it just yet.

"So, you two back to normal now or what?" Tommy pried. Joel shot him a look and he shrugged. "We got a long journey here. We can't talk to pass the time?"

"Yeah, mostly back to normal," Joel finally answered, shifting his weight in his saddle. He could already feel his lower back beginning to flare up. "Takin' things slow. Givin' her as much time as she needs."

Tommy nodded, reading between the lines. "Didn't look that slow the other night after dinner," he muttered under his breath, but Joel still heard him.

"She had a couple drinks, is all," he replied with a chuckle. He scratched his chin as he thought back to a few nights prior when you had draped your arms around his shoulders and your face buried against his neck for the better part of thirty minutes. It was late, all of the families had cleared out after dinner, leaving behind the adults to kick back and cut loose a bit. It reminded Joel of a time before the world went to hell. When he and Tommy would go to a bar on a Friday night, the smell of stale beer and cigarettes in the air while the patrons had to shout over a mediocre cover band playing Lynyrd Skynyrd. It was the first time in a long time he felt relaxed and at ease. He watched his brother and wife across the bar steal kisses around conversations with neighbors, grateful for a night out as Ellie had offered to babysit. He had you at his side, sipping whiskey and making a face before you switched to something else.

As the night dragged on, you got a little closer. Then your hand found his knee under the table and you tilted your head into his shoulder, quietly listening to him discuss the plan for the trip with George. He wrapped an arm around your waist but his focus was entirely on George, too concerned with the map he had spread out over the wooden table. George's wife finally came to collect him, telling him she was tired and he was too old to be trying to keep up with the younger men, shot for shot. She wasn't wrong by the way he stood up and stumbled a bit, leading him towards the door, leaving just the two of you at your table. Once you were alone, your arms snaked around his neck and you tugged him to your lips, your tongue greedily licking into his mouth, the heavy taste of whiskey and gin on your combined breath.

"You sure it was just the drinks? You don't think it had anythin' to do with Angie sittin' two tables over?"

Joel's face flushed and he cleared his throat. It shouldn't turn him on but he couldn't help it. He liked it when you were possessive over him.

"Didn't think it wise to ask," was all he said. Tommy chuckled.

The group made decent time. They had a grid in mind and they almost reached their desired destination by sundown. When morning came, the plan was they would make their way back towards Jackson and cover the northeast quadrant of the map.

As they set up camp for the night, deciding to forego a fire since the temperature was comfortable and they didn't want to risk giving away their location, Neil commented that they hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary so far.

"Not that I mind coming out here, Joel," he followed up quickly, "always a good idea to take precautions and all that."

Joel nodded and focused on spreading out his sleeping bag. "I appreciate you all comin'. Not sure if I say it enough, but I'm grateful."

Neil and George exchanged surprised looks at the unexpected appreciation.

They got an early start the next morning, and as the sun rose higher in the sky and more ground was covered, Joel began to wonder if maybe they would make it back to Jackson sooner than he thought. He really hoped they would. Even if it was just one day, he missed you. He hated sleeping without you. He hated waking up and not finding you curled up against him with your head resting on his chest or his arms wrapped about your waist, face buried against the back of your neck.

He was glancing around the forest, wondering what you were doing right at that very moment when he spotted something orange in the distance. His heart rate picked up and he whistled, catching the group's attention. He pointed through the trees and they all silently slid down from their horses. Checking their weapons, they fanned out and slowly made their way towards the scrap of fabric. As they got closer, Joel could see it was a knit cap stuck in a bush, fluttering in the wind. None of the men saw any other signs of life, each of them silently communicating with hand signals they were taught years ago.

Tommy heard shuffling and he held up his hand, bringing the group to an immediate stop. From his angle, Joel could see that the bush with the knit cap was right outside the opening of a small cave. The way the trees had grown around the rocks, it was impossible to notice it from a distance.

The perfect hiding spot.

He exchanged worried looks with Tommy before they crept closer, his rifle gripped tightly in both hands, ready for anything. The shuffling got louder and clearer and it became apparent that the noise was coming from right within the mouth of the cave. Catching Tommy's eye, he made sure to show him he was putting his rifle away in favor of his hunting knife. He always preferred a silent takedown over wasting ammunition, but just in case it went sideways, Tommy would be ready to cover him.

Joel situated himself next to the mouth of the cave while the other men, spread out amongst the trees, hid and waited. He reached down and grabbed a rock, throwing it about ten feet away to draw out whoever was hiding.

He didn't even need to see it to know what was waiting for him.

When the rock cracked against a tree trunk and he heard the telltale snarl of infected, he tightened his grip on his knife. The runner stumbled out of the cave with a shriek, jaw snapping angrily in the direction of the noise. Joel had run into his fair share of infected over the years. He knew the noise would have drawn the attention of any infected in the immediate vicinity, and when he only spotted one, he almost breathed a sigh of relief.

He took it down silently with a blade to the back of the head, then inspected the body. It looked fresh, the clothes mostly intact. The rest of the men joined him as they peered inside the cave, listening intently for any movement. When they heard none, they began to advance.

The cave wasn't very big but it was enough to house ten men. At least, that's the number of bodies they found, not a single trace of life left.

"Well, shit," Tommy muttered, kicking one of the mangled bodies with his boot. "Guess that hunch of yours was right."

It didn't exactly please Joel to know he was right, but at least it was the best possible scenario. The men were taken out by infected probably within the past week. He counted the bodies five times. Then recounted the backpacks and sleeping bags. Ten seemed to be the correct number. No one was missing, assuming the runner he had just killed was the only raider who had the misfortune of turning instead of dying right away.

They scavenged what they could from the dead bodies before trekking back to the horses.

"Keep your heads up. Don't mean there ain't anythin' else out here," Joel warned.

"The warmer weather must've thawed out some infected," Tommy mused next to him. Joel nodded.

"Probably should warn the others to keep their guard up the next few weeks," he replied. "Maybe add an extra body to the towers if we can."

Tommy nodded in agreement. The winters in the mountains were harsh but at least they saw a decrease in the undead.

"Now let's get the hell home," George said over his shoulder, the rest of the men mumbling in agreement. Joel ducked his chin to his chest to hide his relieved smile. Home.

To say you were happy to see him return was an understatement. It was closer to ten at night when you finally heard his heavy footsteps on the front porch.

"Told'ya I'd come back," he chuckled when you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight.

"I know," you mumbled into his shirt. His heart swelled in his chest and he closed his eyes, breathing deep the smell of your shampoo. You both had a lot of work to do, essentially starting over and building a relationship from the ground up, but it was moments like those that made him believe everything was going to work out.

"Are you hungry?"

"Nah, just need a shower," he said, dropping his pack by the door and kicking off his boots.

"So I take it you didn't find anything?" you asked, trailing up the stairs behind him. He walked into your bedroom to grab a fresh set of boxers and sweatpants.

"Actually, we did," he began, and your heart plummeted. He saw the look on your face and quickly shook his head. "They were dead by the time we got there. 'Bout ten of 'em holed up in a cave. Infected got to 'em first."

"Oh, wow," you breathed, slowly sinking down onto the bed. "Well, at least you have peace of mind now, right?"

"Exactly," he said, giving you a quick kiss before heading into the bathroom. "Be out in a minute."

You heard the water turn on and you glanced over at the red flannel of Joel's that you slept in the night before. Even though it was clean, it still smelled like him. You glanced at the closed bathroom door and bit your lip, your heart fluttering in your chest as you thought things over. The morning he left, you wished you had told him but you were too sleepy and you wanted it to be more meaningful. Then, when you woke up and his side of the bed was ice cold, you felt the dread begin to creep up your spine. What if something happened and you never told him how you felt?

Well, nothing happened. He was home now. Safe and sound. There was no reason not to tell him.

You heard the water turn off and you jumped up to grab his flannel and scurried out of the bedroom, across the hall to the other bathroom, shutting the door.

Joel emerged a few minutes later with his wet hair slicked back wearing just a pair of sweatpants, per usual. He tossed his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and looked around. He noticed the closed door across the hall and assumed you were getting ready for bed so he slid between the sheets with a groan. He closed his eyes and took a moment to appreciate the mattress underneath him instead of the unforgiving forest floor before leaning over to grab his glasses and a book.

When you tiptoed back into the bedroom wearing only his flannel, he didn't notice at first. His focus was on the small print in front of him, blinking a few times and wondering if he needed stronger lenses when you cleared your throat. He glanced up and did a double take, his lips parting in shock when he saw his red flannel hugging your curves, the hem falling just below your ass.

You looked up at him and feigned surprise. "Oh, is this okay? I was cold-"

"Yes," he swallowed, immediately cutting you off, "it's okay."

You smiled and made a show of bending over to fix the sheets. Again, he swallowed tightly when he caught a glimpse of your black underwear and he felt his cock twitch. Before you turned around he made sure to be focused back on his book, although he was most definitely not absorbing any of the words on the page.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw you peel back the sheets and with a sigh, you tucked yourself in. You glanced over at him, admiring his strong side profile and the way his glasses perched on the tip of his nose.

"I missed you," you whispered, and he dragged his eyes from his book to look at you.

"I missed you, too."

You caught the way his eyes flicked down to your chest where you purposely left two buttons undone so you exposed a little bit of cleavage.

"What are you reading?" you asked, and he laughed through his nose.

"I've got no fuckin' idea."

In a flash, his book was discarded and you were in his lap, your mouth hungrily devouring his as he carefully removed his glasses and tossed them to the side. He wrapped both arms around you and held you close to his bare chest, his tongue licking past your teeth eagerly.

"You look so fuckin' good in my clothes," he growled, sounding as if it pained him before biting at your jaw.

"I wore your shirts the whole time you were gone," you admitted, rolling your head back and grinding down on his hips. You bit your lip when you felt how hard he was already. "Almost the whole week. I slept in your bed and-"

"Fuck," Joel groaned, grabbing your face with both hands and feverishly plunged his tongue into your mouth. You moaned and grabbed his shoulders, the intensity behind the kiss growing too hot. You could feel yourself tumbling, free-falling into the abyss with the unspoken words sitting heavy on your tongue, hoping Joel would be there to catch you.

"Wait," you gasped, pulling away, but only a little. Your forehead still rested against his as you both panted for air.

"I know, I'm sorry-" he was about to apologize for taking things too far when you cut him off.

"Do you remember all those months ago when I asked how I fell in love with you?"

Joel nodded. "Yeah."

"Do you remember what you said?"

He tilted his head back, lips parted as he gazed up at you, wondering why you were asking him those questions in that moment.

"Yeah," he replied slowly, "I said you're gonna have to wait to find out."

You bit your lip and with a shaky hand, you traced one of the wrinkles next to his eyes. "Well, I found out."

His chest stilled, breath caught in his throat as he processed your words. His eyes roamed over your face, hoping and praying he wasn't misunderstanding. When you saw him nervously swallow, you smiled.

"I love you, Joel."

His eyebrows pinched together and before you could see the tears welling up in his eyes, he pulled you down for another searing kiss. This time, he went slower. He savored every second, he memorized everything he possibly could about that moment because the way you made him feel hearing those words was unlike anything he ever experienced and he didn't want to take a single second for granted.

"I love you, too," he choked. He could feel you smile against his lips when he pressed his mouth against yours again. "Fuck, I love you so much," he mumbled, his hands falling to your hips, "I'd do anythin' for you."

Your mouth latched onto his throat and you dropped your hand between your bodies, your fingers lightly stroking him through his pants. And once again, you felt his muscles stiffen and freeze.

For a moment, the self-doubt crept in. What if he didn't want to? Was he too tired? Was he not ready? Then his hand covered your wrist and you watched as he slowly dragged your hand up and down, showing you what he liked. Encouraging you to continue. So you did.

His head tipped back against the headboard with a sigh and he squeezed his eyes shut, removing his hand and letting you take control. He wanted - no, needed - you to call the shots. You needed to take it as far as you wanted to take it.

When your fingers dipped below his waistband, he tensed.

When he finally felt your soft touch on his cock, he groaned.

It was better than he even remembered. His eyes were still closed as you worked him up and down, the arousal pooling between your legs the longer you spent just feeling him and not seeing him.

"I want you," you whispered in his ear, and his hips jolted as he whined against your shoulder. You wanted him.

When he opened his eyes, he looked absolutely wrecked. You could see that he was trying his best to hold back, trying his best to make sure you were comfortable, that you weren't feeling pressured, that you really wanted it.

But when you sweetly whispered please, Joel, he didn't hesitate. He flipped you onto your back and pulled hastily at the buttons of his flannel while he cemented his mouth against yours. Your hands drifted to his hair and back, pulling and scratching as you went while he finally flung open the shirt. He instantly latched his lips around your nipple, making you moan and arch your back underneath him.

"So beautiful," he mumbled against your chest. "Tell me again."

You smiled and peered down at him. "I love you."

He breathed a sigh of relief, his exhale fanning over your skin, making your nipples tighten. His rough hands slid down your stomach, thick fingers splayed wide, trying to touch as much of you as possible at once.

You could hear your heartbeat thrumming steadily in your ears when he dipped his fingers below the elastic of your underwear, a deafening sound that made it hard to focus but when he slid a finger slowly through your arousal, your senses suddenly sharpened. The house could have been on fire but you never would have known because all you could focus on was him.

He dragged his open mouth across your chest, teeth grazing over your collarbone, tongue flicking out and tasting you as he went. His lips puckered and sucked at your skin as he pet gently at your entrance, making you squirm with need and tug impatiently at his hair. When he pulled his hand out of your underwear, you made a frustrated little noise that made him smile. He popped his finger into his mouth and you watched, struggling to breathe, as his eyes fluttered closed and he moaned like he had just slipped into a warm bath after a hard day.

"God, I missed that," he whispered, and the look on his face made you actually believe him.

"Joel..." you breathed, plucking feebly at the waistband of his sweatpants.

"Lemme just make you come on my mouth first," and before you could respond, he was shimmying down between your legs and tugging off your panties. When you glanced down and saw how good it looked with his head between your legs, you relaxed and leaned back. How could you argue with that view?

"Oh," you sighed when his tongue first slid through your folds. You tipped your head back and closed your eyes, allowing your muscles to melt under his touch. His hands held your thighs open but he didn't need to bother. There was no possible way you would do anything to stop him. Not when he felt so good, taking his time and expertly lavishing your core with his tongue. And perhaps he was an expert. At least when it came to you, he had five years of experience to fall back on. He surely must have figured out what you liked in all that time.

Your breath was growing ragged and you could feel the heat creeping up your chest. He pressed the backs of your thighs, pushing your knees up towards your chest so he could devour every inch of you, eating messily at your cunt. You pulled your knees back and hooked your hands around each one, your thighs becoming too shaky to hold open with your own strength.

It was a combination of his lips wrapping around your clit and the deep groan that rumbled through his chest that made you come undone the first time. Instant relief flashed through your body and you released your knees, letting your legs fall limply onto the quilt while he eagerly cleaned you up with his tongue.

When he sensed it was too much, he began peppering kisses along your inner thighs, murmuring praise into your skin as he went. You opened your eyes and peered down at him, your breath getting caught in your throat at the sight. His mouth and beard were glistening with your slick, his own eyes remained shut as he mindlessly nipped and kissed your skin, but even from your angle you could see him rutting his hips into the mattress, looking for any amount of friction to relieve the ache.

You reached your arms out to him and he inched up but stopped at your stomach. He sighed and rested the side of his head against your belly, listening to your breath evening out as he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist. It took you by surprise that he wasn't immediately jumping at the chance to chase his own release when it was clear just a moment before he was dying for it. You glanced down at him and smiled when you saw the look on his face, simply content with just holding and being close to you. Carding your fingers through his curls, you heard him hum before pressing a gentle kiss against your stomach.

It might have been that moment when you realized he was right. What you had was special and rare. You could feel it in your bones, the way a look or touch sent a jolt right through you. The way you felt drawn to him, even from the very first day of your accident, you could sense something in him. You had no idea at the time what it was, but you were beginning to understand now.

"Joel?" you whispered, worried he might have somehow fallen asleep. Then you felt it. The first hot teardrop hit your skin and your heart clenched. "C'mere," you said, tugging at his shoulders. Begrudgingly, he obeyed. And after his arms loosened and he unpeeled his wet face from your belly, you saw the anguish in his eyes. All watery and wide and guilt-ridden.

"I don't deserve you," he said softly, his voice breaking a bit as you cupped his jaw. "Never did and definitely don't now. Not after everything I've done. Don't deserve your forgiveness, let alone your love."

You shushed him and pressed your lips tenderly against his, your thumb wiping away his tears as they fell.

"Don't tell me who I can and cannot love," you said, taking his chin in your hand and giving it a firm shake, like you were punishing him. He chuckled thickly through the tears.

You pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him slower, your tongue just barely dipping into his mouth. He groaned when you began to plant wet kisses along his jaw and you noticed with pride that his chest was rising and falling faster than usual while his hips ground into yours.

"Love you s'much," he almost sounded drunk, the feel of your mouth over his skin clouding his mind and mushing his words together.

"Yeah?" you asked before sucking a bruise where his jaw met his throat. "Then show me."

Joel kicked off his sweatpants and boxers with a grunt but when you went to remove his flannel from around your shoulders, he stopped you.

"Leave it on."

Your cheeks flared with heat at the way he looked at you and all you could do was nod and bite your lip.

It felt like time stood still when you first felt him enter you. Like nothing else in the world mattered outside of those four walls. He held your gaze and your fingers dug into his back, each of you savoring the stretch with your mouths hung open, the only sound was the occasional sharp little breath or gasp from one or both of you.

You could see it in his face again and you had a feeling you mirrored his look. It was too intense. Too overwhelming. So much had happened that led up to that moment: all the fear, sadness, laughter, arguments, long talks and shared traumas came crashing down at once. A tear slid down your cheek right when his hips came flush with yours and he leaned down to kiss it away.

"You okay?"

You nodded and wiped another tear away with the back of your hand.

"It's just a lot, y'know?" you sniffled, hoping he understood. And he did.

His eyes glistened and he smiled, his fingers brushing away a few stray pieces of hair from your face. "I know. We've come a long way."

"Yeah," you whispered, blinking back more tears. Your fingertips traced his bottom lip, your eyes flickering around his face, taking in every little crease and dimple. "Kiss me."

He did as you asked, kissing you slow and deep, matching pace with his hips. Your fingers dug into his arms, holding onto him, keeping him close. His hand pushed his flannel back, exposing one of your shoulders while your head tilted back into the pillows, momentarily breaking away for air. You moaned softly when he began to grind his hips against you, providing your clit with some much needed stimulation while he dragged his mouth down the column of your throat and across your collarbone. When he sunk his teeth gently into your shoulder, he felt you clench around him and gasp.

How's that feel?

Do that again.

Tell me you love me.

I love you.

Those sweet, desperate whispers were shared, breathed into each other's mouths, every word dragged out, every touch deliberate and slow. Neither of you in the mood to rush a thing as your fingers tightly laced together next to your head.

His other hand skirted around your back and under his shirt, palm pressing against your spine, pulling you closer to him, if it was even possible. He flexed his hips and you groaned when the tip of his cock hit a spot that had your entire body buzzing.

"Right there," you whimpered into his neck, brows pinched together and stomach tightening as you concentrated on the fire being stoked deep within you. Every one of his powerful thrusts was adding fuel to the flames. Your skin was slick with sweat and you began to regret keeping his flannel on.

"I know, baby. I remember," he whispered, tightening his grip on you. "Fuck, y'feel so good, I can't-"

"Don't stop! Please, Joel, more," you begged, tears welling up and spilling down your cheeks the closer and closer he pushed you to the edge. Your thighs tensed around his waist and his lips kissed the tears away and when you came, crying his name into his skin, he soothed you. He told you how much he loved you, how much he missed being so close to you, reminded you he was right there, that he had you and everything was okay.

Moments later, you felt his body tremble and his hips stutter. In a haze, you loosened your legs from around his waist. His lips captured yours frantically, fast puffs of exhale fanning over your cheek as he got more and more lost in chasing his climax. Your shaking fingers reached up to get tangled in his hair, ensuring his mouth remained firmly planted against your lips, muffling his groans and garbled versions of your name and I love yous, swallowing everything down until he yanked his hips away, spilling himself all over your stomach.

You both broke the kiss and looked down between your bodies, watching as each weak thrust painted your skin with more and more of his release until he finally stilled and shuddered.

After he finally forced himself to stand, he cleaned you up and slipped back into bed, one of his legs sticking out from underneath the covers, still slightly panting for air. You curled into his side, his arm wrapped around you, pulling you snug against him, his nose getting buried in your hair as you listened to each other's breaths even out. You quietly told him about a wound you stitched up at work all by yourself the day before and he told you how proud he was of you. You listened to him tell you a little more about his trip, how relieved he felt now that he confirmed with his own eyes Jackson was safe. At least, for the time being.

The last thing you remembered was him telling you how much he hated sleeping on the ground and how much he missed you while his knuckles soothingly dragged over your stomach but all you could think about was the warm glow that radiated from your skin and the delicious soreness between your legs as you drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, you heard birds singing outside your window. You smiled before you even opened your eyes. Spring was coming. You always loved spring. Something about it made you hopeful and calm, and that morning was no exception.

You awoke still wrapped in his arms and his flannel, your cheek pressed against his bare chest, one of your legs slotted between his, enjoying the peace and quiet the morning brought.

"I thought you died," you admitted quietly once he woke, your fingertips tracing over the scar above his hip. "When you didn't come back that day, I was so worried. So scared my last words to you were something cruel and hurtful."

He hummed and said, "Oh darlin', I'm so sorry," then kissed the top of your head.

"Don't be. In a way, it helped me realize how much I care about you," you replied, lifting your chin from his chest to glance up at him. He always looked way too handsome in the morning. It was hardly fair. "Made me realize I couldn't live without you."

He grinned and rolled his shoulder, stretching out his sore muscles. "Well, if that's all it took, why didn't you say somethin' sooner?"

You giggled and looked back down at his scar, the smile slowly slipping from your face the longer you looked at the pale jagged edges marring his bronzed skin. "God, that day you didn't come back, though," you continued, your brow furrowed as you thought, "I had the worst pit in my stomach. Almost like I knew something was wrong, you know?"

He nodded and closed his eyes, letting you talk, completely at ease listening to your voice.

"It probably didn't help I had woken up that morning from the worst fucking nightmare."

"What nightmare?" he asked sleepily.

You chuckled when you thought about it.

"It's not really funny," you explained, rolling off of him and onto your back, pulling his flannel closed as you moved. "It had started out just like this, actually. It was morning, we were in bed and we were talking... about death?" you said the last part as if it were a question. "I was asking you if you believed in heaven and I told you I was afraid we were going to hell." His eyes snapped open and he quickly rolled his head to look at you, waiting for you to continue. You laughed again and shrugged. "I guess it felt like a premonition or something. Really freaked me out, it felt so real."

"What else?" he asked excitedly, sitting up. You looked up at him and cocked your head to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"What else do you remember? From the nightmare?"

"Oh," you said, pushing yourself up so you were also sitting. You stared at the wall blankly as you thought about it. "You told me we aren't bad people, and even though I told you we had done bad things, I believed you. Then..." you felt your cheeks flush and he sat forward eagerly.

"Then what?" he urged, and when you looked at him again, any trace of playfulness was gone.

"Then... it got a little dirty but I woke up before anything happened. But I do remember you were on top of me and you said-"

"This is heaven right here?" he finished for you, and you looked at him in surprise.

"Yes! How did-"

"That was no nightmare, honey. That happened," he told you, his voice rising. He thought his heart was going to explode, it was racing so fast.

"What?" you whispered, but Joel was already jumping out of bed and tugging on his boxers.

"C'mon, get up! We gotta take you to see Nick!"

"Wait," you said, buttoning up his flannel as he flew around the room, grabbing new clothes for you both. "Joel, this was a month ago, what will going to see Nick do?"

"I-I-I don't know! But we gotta tell him. Maybe there's somethin' we can do if we know you're capable of -"

"Joel, sit down," you said, cutting him off. He froze, having just tugged on a shirt but his jeans were still left unzipped and unbuttoned. You stared at him until he took the few steps towards the bed and sat down on the edge. "I'll talk to Nick next time I'm at work, but I don't want to barge in there and take up his time. You know this is out of his area of expertise."

He looked disappointed but he knew you were right because he finally nodded in agreement and bit the inside of his cheek while he stared at the floor. You put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, drawing his attention back onto you.

"It doesn't matter, anyway," you said softly. "If my memories come back, then they come back. If they don't, they don't. All that matters is this... right?" you asked, inching closer to him and resting a hand on his thigh. He smiled and enveloped your hand in his.

"Yeah, you're right," he said, staring down at your conjoined hands for a moment. "You wanna go get some breakfast? Maybe talk 'bout it a bit more?"

"Sure," you replied, then leaned forward, kissing him tenderly before standing up. "I should probably shower, though. Last night got a little messy," you said, tossing him a wink over your shoulder. He smirked and watched your ass sway back and forth in his fucking clothes as you made your way to the bathroom. You turned around in the doorway, one hand on the knob, the other braced against the frame as you looked at him expectantly from across the room. "Aren't you coming?"

All the blood rushed directly between his legs and just like that, his excitement for you recalling a memory was replaced by a very different kind of excitement.

"Hell, yes," he said, standing up and shucking off his shirt as he followed you into the bathroom. He grabbed your face with both hands and crashed his mouth against yours, kicking the door shut behind him.

Three Months Later

"Can't believe I'm the one teachin' you how to shoot," Joel muttered in disbelief as you walked back from the line of trees where he had hammered a paper target into one of the trunks. "You were always a better shot than me. Almost better than Tommy, and he was in the goddamn Army."

You laughed and shook your head, still finding it difficult to believe that you ever shot a gun before. From what you remember, you were always afraid of guns growing up.

"Maybe I'm a natural, then."

Enough time had passed and the weather had gotten warm enough where you decided it would be beneficial to re-learn how to shoot. You didn't plan on going back to patrol, but in the world you lived in, it was an important skill to have.

You sat down next to Joel on the fallen tree trunk in the middle of a small field about two miles away from Jackson. He picked up each one of his guns and inspected them, making sure they were clean so there wouldn't be much kickback.

"Have any dreams lately?"

You sighed and shook your head. "Just the one about Ellie, and that was over a month ago."

When you woke up one morning from a dream that felt all too real, you shook Joel awake to tell him about it. It was a simple dream, but it felt intense. You had dreamed Ellie sat you and Joel down at the kitchen table, and full of nerves, explained that she was seeing someone. Someone she cared about deeply. You seemed to catch on quicker than Joel because the conversation lead to where Ellie had to point blank explain to him that she was dating another girl. He seemed surprised but not overly shocked, and when he shrugged it off and still maintained that his only concern was her partner treating her right, her face broke out into a huge smile.

After he confirmed it was a memory, you agreed to see Nick. He didn't end up having much insight on what spurred your sudden recollection that day, just as you expected. But much to your surprise, Joel was perfectly calm. In fact, he made a point of thanking Nick and you even saw him smile at the other man.

And it wasn't just Nick you noticed his demeanor changing toward, either. When kids playing in the street bumped into him, he laughed and waved them off. When Jesse proposed to his girlfriend, Joel was one of the first in line to give him a hearty handshake and wished them well.

You weren't sure if his behavior changed because you were so revolted by it in the beginning, or if he was just happier in general, but you didn't complain.

"Alright, so which one d'you think we're gonna use from this distance?" he asked after he showed you his revolver and then his rifle, explaining the difference between each: how they handled, when to use them, when not to use them, and then finally, how to load and unload them.

You gave him a blank look. "The rifle, Joel. I'm not a complete idiot. I've seen movies."

He grinned and holstered his revolver.

"Good girl. Beauty and brains," he said, and you rolled your eyes.

"Don't start."

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Don't start flirting with me. You'll distract me and I want to take this seriously."

"I ain't flirtin' with you."

"Yes, you are!"

He laughed heartily at your frustrated little pout. "Can you blame me? You're so goddamn cute."

"Joel..." you whined, and he held up both hands in defeat before picking up the rifle.

"Alright, alright. Lemme shoot off a few rounds and you watch my form, okay? Watch my shoulders and where my hands go."

"Okay."

You observed him as he took aim at the target, nearly hitting the bullseye but not quite.

"You wanna give it a shot?"

"Pun intended?"

He grinned and held out the rifle, so you grabbed it and sunk down to one knee, resting your elbows on the tree trunk as you tried to imitate his posture.

"Like this?"

"Mhm," he said, "now take a deep breath and squeeze the trigger nice 'n slow."

Doing as you were told, you inhaled and blinked a few times, making sure your vision was clear and your eye was on the prize. Pursing your lips, you slowly exhaled and squeezed the trigger - only to miss hitting the target entirely.

"Shit," you grumbled, sitting back on your heels.

"You got spooked by the kickback," Joel said, "try again, but this time try not to flinch."

You shouldered the rifle and took aim, once again taking a deep breath and focusing on the little yellow circle in the middle of the target. When you fired off your second round, doing your best not to flinch, you clipped the edge of the paper, but you were no where near the center.

"Goddamnit!" you yelled angrily. Joel chuckled and crouched behind you.

"Here. Lemme help you."

He wrapped his arms around yours and pressed his chest against your back, his hands coming to rest on top of yours as he made some minuscule adjustments to your posture.

"Y'gotta be gentle, see?" he whispered in your ear. Your eyelids fluttered but you managed to nod. "Gotta be patient. Don't let her scare you. Think of her as an extension of you. Like another arm."

"Her?" you teased.

He chuckled, his breath puffing against the back of your neck. "Yeah. Her. I'm respectful and careful with all my girls."

"All?" you repeated, leaning into him a bit. "How many are there?"

"Oh, tons," he said, making you giggle. "But if it makes you feel any better, you're my favorite."

"A favorite over a bunch of guns? I'm so flattered."

"Hey, now. Didn't you just say you wanted to take this seriously? C'mon, focus up," and you knew he was right so you straightened up and pressed your eye against the scope once again.

Joel stayed behind you, his hands on your shoulders to help stabilize your upper body as you squeezed off shot after shot. His advice helped a little, you were at least hitting the paper, but you weren't getting anywhere near his shots from earlier. He could see you were growing frustrated so when you ran out of bullets, he took the rifle and told you to take a break while he reloaded.

"It's okay, darlin'. It's gonna take a bit to get used to it."

You sighed and slumped forward on the tree trunk. "Yeah, I guess," you mumbled.

For the next twenty minutes, Joel coached you while you struggled to remember all his advice at once. Keep your shoulders loose. Don't flinch. Follow through. Breathe. When you pulled the last round into the chamber and took aim, you expected it to go like all the others so you stopped worrying about it and just pulled the trigger.

"Holy shit, you did it!" Joel exclaimed excitedly. You hadn't even bothered to look, so you quickly brought the scope back up to your face. When you saw the small little circle burning a hole through the paper, nearly dead center, you squealed and quickly placed the rifle against the tree so you could jump into Joel's arms. He wrapped his arms around your ribs and spun you around while you giggled into his neck.

"Told you," he said with a wide grin after he put you back down. You grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him into you, crashing your lips together, taking him by surprise. He stumbled forward but wrapped a hand around the back of your neck just as you lost your own footing and fell onto the grass, dragging him down with you.

You laughed against his mouth, still peppering kisses all over his face. He braced both arms on either side of you, elbows digging into the warm grass, smile permanently stretching across his cheeks as he soaked up your affection.

When your laughter died down, you pulled away to gaze up at him, your fingers playing with the dark curls at the base of his neck. The sun was shining over the field and onto his tanned skin, making his sparkling brown eyes look like the color of gold. It took your breath away.

"You're so handsome," you whispered in awe, your fingers leaving his hair in favor of stroking the graying stubble dusting his cheeks. He blushed and shook his head, but before he could protest, you spoke again. "I love you so much, Joel. Sometimes it makes me sad to think we probably wouldn't have ever known each other if the world didn't end."

His eyes softened and he gave you a small smile, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "I'll always find you. In every life, in every universe. You've got a piece of me," he tapped your chest lightly, "I don't make the rules."

You laughed and laced your fingers together with his. "Like fate?"

He shrugged. "Call it whatever you want. I already told you, sweetheart. We're meant to be together."

You pulled him down for another kiss, this one more gentle. More loving. More intimate. For the hundredth time, you mentally berated yourself for wasting so much time after your accident when you could have been with him like this, being loved and adored and cherished all along. Instead, you both had been searching endlessly for some version of yourself that you weren't sure you would ever find again. But then you realized if you never did, that was okay. Because you got to fall in love with each other all over again, and how many people get to say that?

[coredrill]

thinking abt visions s2 is like no fear. *the studios are announced and [REDACTED] is one of them* ONE FEAR

[i-dont-bite]

i don't trust sapphics when they tell me somethings good anymore

[tgcg]

ill break your shit adam

warning for adult lang

fuck you adam sandler

youre lucky karkat likes you

stupid fuck sees an amnesiac girl

and asks her can i marry you

that lady got issues mentally

you still down to do shit anally

deplorable zit on the ass of romanza

karkat told me to put that shit in this stanza

do raps even count as having stanzas

slam poetry tyke at preschool im no manza

youd probably jack it to a log with holes if they were wet ones

sitting on that stupid dock with her papa cracking cold ones

piece of shit id push you off that dock and watch you bubbling

kick your ass like her shitty bro failed when you were troubling

penguins dont quack like fucking ducks you dumbass

thats not part of the rap i just think that youre a dumbass

back to the rap sandler i bet you couldnt drop a single bar

too busy picking up stupid women at the stupid women bar

who even let you into hawaii

also did i say karkat liked you i was kidding he wants to kick your heinie

seriously watching that shit again made him start slamming his head into the cushions and screaming i had to pry them out his hands and he almost bit me

sorry i forgot i was rapping again

piece of shit forgot that you can like women while dating other men

still not over that chuck and larry shit adam

if you just said to the gov you were bi you coulda had em

firefighter of the year? well try putting out this heat

karkats gonna beat your ass like you do every night to your meat

gotta ask is this shit wish fulfilment for you

gotta say larry deserved better than you

i could treat him way better than you not in a gay way though

i just mean youre a massive sleaze basically the worlds shittiest bro

back to 50 first dates man sandler your shit is a bore

the stupid bits with schneider got my ass addicted to snore

if i was that stupid walrus id tear your ass to shreds

if i was that penguin i would also tear your ass to shreds

itd be harder but id still do it

bro fuck adam sandler im through it

===

TT: Wow. Bravo, Dave. You've outdone yourself.

TG: i wrote this one exceptionally fucking terrible to represent my inner darkness

TG: i can never unwatch those cinematic fossilized turds theyre like time capsules devoted to everything wrong with america

TG: you dont even understand how egregious that was

TT: I can sense the utter malaise and contempt in every word. It's beautiful.

TT: One particularly interesting point I'd like to make is the fact that you managed to refer to butts in a song about a male target, 10 times in the span of 37 lines. It's not an exorbitant amount, but it appears to be a running theme in your works. Very interesting, if you ask me --

TG: nooooo

TG: nope no

TG: not this shit again

TG: listen one of them is karkats fault

===

CG: ROSE, YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S DOING HERE AT ALL.

TT: No? Please, enlighten me Karkat.

CG: GLADLY.

CG: HE STARTS OUT WITH THE FRIGGIN WORD "ANAL" PRECEDING ALL OF THE OTHER MENTIONS, OF COURSE IT'S ON PURPOSE. IT INSTILLS THAT IMAGERY IN YOUR NUGBONE THROUGHOUT THE TRACK.

CG: AND YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED A RECURRING USE OF THE WORD "SHIT", IN TANDEM. BOG-STANDARD FOR DAVE, RIGHT? NO! IT'S PART OF THE EFFECT!

CG: MY THESIS: ADAM SANDLER MOVIES ARE PIECES OF ABSOLUTE SHIT AND THE REFERENCES TO WORDS LIKE "LOG" AND "SHIT" AND "ASS" ARE TO INVOKE THE SENSE OF TAKING A MASSIVE DUMP THROUGHOUT THE SPAN OF THE RAP, WHICH BY ALL MEANS WOULD BE AN EQUAL OR GREATER USE OF YOUR TIME THAN WATCHING THOSE MOVIES.

CG: RIGHT, DAVE?

TG: … yeah

TT: Okay, I'm willing to concede to that. On this subject matter, as an avid terrible movie enjoyer, you admittedly know better than myself.

CG: SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

TT: And you love them anyways.

CG: YEAH.

TG: hes right

TG: you hear that shit hes right

TG: fuck death of the author im verifying that interpretation

[gutterfuuck]

“ROI—“

more bff!mark for my baby girls out there, i am watching and lurking when you least expect. the title is based on a song! it is the instrumental for roi. i do not have a specific reason, i just heard it while i was writing and hadn’t a title ready. i saw the phrase “sandbox love never dies” on another work, credit is due there for that!

cw: mdni!, dubcon-ish(? not sure how to describe, haha), smut, mark is pining hard for reader, possibly hint of yandere, this one is kind of long, bff!mark, piv, childhood friends to lovers trope, mark is a little delulu if u squint, virgin!mark (implied), semi-dark content please be aware, reader and mark are in college, reader knows that mark is invincible but that isn’t really important to the story.

mark knew this bedroom all too well. how couldn’t he? you both basically grew up in there together. you were always over at his house, he was always over at yours. inseparable ever since the day he had moved in across from you, sandbox love never dies.

his eyes landed on the fairy lights that were stapled to the wall to keep them in place… he had done that, years ago. he couldn’t bare to see the look of disappointment on your face when you realised that they hadn’t come with a sticky back so you could have them up on your wall. he still remembered the way your eyes lit up when he returned to your home with a stapler in hand, being careful not to staple through the wire. mark’s heart fluttered when he saw your little collection of cereal box figurines; also his doing. he couldn’t believe that you had held onto his gifts for so long, let alone display them proudly as if they were medals. to you, they might as well as be.

“you okay?” you asked, snapping him out of whatever dreamy trance he was in. he snapped his head around back to the tv, the ending credits of the zombie movie rolling on the screen. you had noticed how he had been staring into space for the last half hour of your movie, “me? yeah- i’m good, just thinking about something.” he smiled, quickly rummaging around on the floor to pick up the last of the movie cases, your marathon nearing its end. you were both back in town for the weekend, college kicking you both down and your dorm rooms not homey enough for it to feel right, so you had decided to drop in for a couple of days, killing two birds with one stone and seeing both mark’s parents and yours in one trip. your parents would be coming back later, that’s when the barbecue would come out.

mark switched the disk for the unwatched one, the movie menu popping up shortly after with a blood splatter animation on the title screen, “no don’t play it yet! we gotta refill here.” you spoke, pointing down at the almost empty bowl of chips, save for a few crumbs at the bottom. you had even ran out of cookies, remembering how mark had said that they should stop calling them family size if they were only able to feed two people in the span of an hour or two. you retorted with something about how usually people had self control; you weren’t supposed to scoff down three packs of family value cookies. ever.

“you gonna leave me here, all on my own? out in the open like this? i’m a sitting duck out here.” he joked, a satisfied warmth washing over him as soon as you had laughed. he loved your laugh, always. for as long as he could remember, “like anyone would come attack my house while you’re here, mark.” you rolled your eyes, his heart skipped a beat. he knew how much you relied on him to keep you safe sometimes. already knew that you’d know who to call if you were ever in any danger. he fed on it. you picked up the empty bowls, stacking them inside one another and opening your bedroom door.

“d’you want anything from downstairs?” you asked, holding an empty bottle of pop under your arm, hands preoccupied. mark shook his head, getting up to open your door wider for you, “i think i’ll just stick to eating all of this junk you keep throwing at me.” mark smiled, you smiled. mark’s heart ached.

“don’t you dare press play on that movie, mark grayson!” you yelled from downstairs, just missing the way mark’s cheeks dusted pink at the sound of his name on your tongue. you sounded like an angel. mark’s attention turned to your dresser, the top drawer full of your underwear. how did he know? well, he was the reason for your declining pairs of underwear, the source of the disappearing panties act that you had just brushed off as being forgetful or losing them somehow. he got up, face turning beet red as he stepped towards the drawer, fingers shakily reaching for the handle, slowly, slowly-

“are you going through my stuff?” shit. shit.

you had caught him, after all this time you had caught him. his mind raced for an excuse, his heart threatened to give up on him and he hoped that he would just have a heart attack already, quickly, he had to say something. anything, anything- “i’m kidding! if you’re looking for the remote, you already left it on the bed, silly!”

thank god. thank god.

“right, y-yeah! ha, i must’ve- forgotten..” he laughed nervously, heart still racing in his chest. all he could do was try to steady himself, calm his shaking hands and retreat back to his original seat, on your bed, next to you. he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering, couldn’t stop thinking about how he could’ve had you right there if you had actually caught him, couldn’t stop thinking about holding your hands above your head and covering your mouth with his palm, ‘please let me, you don’t understand- just the tip and i’ll be done i swear.. just let me make you take me.’— he was daydreaming again, it was all your fault. he wanted you so badly, so desperately, why couldn’t you see it? why couldn’t you see him?

mark stared blankly at the tv screen with his jaw clenched, looking right through the screen. if he hadn’t had seen this movie dozens of times before with william, he would’ve been missing it. it was as if he was sleeping while sitting up with his eyes open, idle and dormant…

he heard you scream, his body shifting to shield you on instinct, breaking him out of whatever trance he had put himself in. you had thrown your arms over him, eyes squeezed shut. he was ready to fight, but fizzled down when he realised that you had only jumped into his arms for safety because of a jumpscare. a jumpscare. you were pressed up against him, you had almost jumped into his lap. it was like you were doing it on purpose, torturing him just because you could. you clung to him tighter, eyes glued to the screen in fear and anticipation for the next bloody scene…

fuck. he could feel his cock twitching in his jeans, straining against his boxers. leaking, weeping for you, his best friend. he was frozen, his eyebrows furrowed and bottom lip pulled into his mouth with his teeth so hard that he thought he would make himself bleed- bleed for you-because you were clinging onto him like you needed him. he needed you. he couldn’t help it anymore. it was now or never, here or nowhere.

“m’sorry-“ he said quietly and you turned to him, eyes staring up into his. that sent him over the edge. before you could ask him what he was apologising for, you were on your back, mark leaning over your body, a hungriness in his deep brown orbs. you had forgotten how fast he was, his powers completely slipping your mind. that was just it, you never cared. you always stuck with him, even after he had told you about his father’s secret roots all those years ago after he had just found out. he couldn’t wait to tell you, he always knew that you’d still see him the same, believe his words even if he lied-

“y/n, please- just let me talk, please just hear me out..!” he sounded different, shaky, almost scared to speak to you as if you were the one with superpowers holding him down. you weren’t scared, of course you weren’t. you looked into his eyes, concern washing over you as you watched your best friend open and close his mouth again, trying to find his words, “i.. i don’t- look, i…” more silence followed, tears brimmed in the corners of mark’s eyes and landed on your face, his gaze refusing to meet yours once again. you wanted to wipe his eyes, get to the bottom of why he was so upset… oh. oh. that was it, huh?

“mark-“ you interrupted, propping yourself up on your elbows to get closer to his face, closer so you could wipe his eyes-

mark panicked, he wasn’t ready for your rejection. wasn’t ready to hear you tell him that you had a boyfriend or that you couldn’t, didn’t want to hear you tell him that he was just like a brother to you, you couldn’t like him back because you were only best friends. he leaned forward, hands on your cheeks, lips crashing against your own. “mmf-!” you tried to move, his grip only tightening the more you tried to pull away, your hands on his wrists tightly. so this was how it was going to have to go, right? he’d dreamed of this for so long, it was so perfect. you were perfect.

“mark-!” you finally yelled, pushing him away by his shoulders. he could feel a dark pit starting to form inside of his stomach, regret washing over him, wishing that the pit would open up enough to swallow him too… “let me just breathe for a second..!” you huffed, locking eyes with him. your eyes never left his, mark’s eyes would try to flicker away from yours.

to him, it was a miracle. to you, it was a confession. it was years and years of bottled up feelings drowning you both all at once, it was confirmation.

you didn’t hesitate, hands snaking into his hair and pulling him back into a sweet kiss, your legs wrapping around his waist as he gasped shakily, a sweet nervousness behind his reciprocation. fireworks shot off in his brain, opening his mouth slowly only to be met with the intrusion of your tongue first, licking up against his as you held him tighter, pulling him closer, devouring him whole. god, you were going to kill him. are you going to kill him? give him a heart attack right here, right now? he thought so, hands aimlessly wondering under your shirt with his hips bucking into you with a groan rumbling from his throat, you whining back when his thumbs brushed against your nipples, your hips rocking against his. “w-wan’ you so b-bad-“ he spoke in between kisses, desperately trying to shove his tongue back down your throat straight after. you moved your hands to the hem of your skirt, shuffling out of it and kicking it off the end of your foot and onto the floor. this was hot, hungry. your hands pulled at his sweater, attempting to pull it over his head. he paused, sad to leave your lips once more, to take off his sweater and discard it into a random corner. “y/n, wanna- can i.. please- just the t-tip, only wanna feel it..- please let me, i’ll be quick, p-promise-“ you shut him up with a deep kiss, arms wrapped around his neck, “..i want all of it, mark. i can take you.” and mark almost cums in his jeans right there, nodding lazily and sliding his hand between your bodies to fiddle with the button and fly of his jeans, mentally congratulating himself for not just messily tugging them past his hips. he wasn’t alone with your panties jerking off next to you in your bed while you slept anymore- no- he had time. he could take it slow.

you couldn’t help but moan when you caught sight of his cock, heavy and thick and leaking between his legs, aching for you. who would’ve guessed? your best friend was packing. mark rolled onto his back, pulling you on top of him so you were straddling his waist, hands pressed on chest. to him, all you had ever done was look down on him, even if you had never intended so. for once, you really were looking down on him, but he was in control. he wanted to be in control, he should have been in control. and with that, the position shifted once more.

mark’s thumbs separated your gooey folds after pulling your panties to the side, he recognised that pair, he had planned on taking them one night. a pair of red lace panties, simple but permanent in his brain. he knew your cunt all too well, the nights where you would need help to stumble back to your dorm drunk when he would tower over your clothed body, flipping up your dress and lick your cunt until he busted against your bedsheets, he could always dismiss it as a yoghurt stain or something if you had ever asked.

mark grabbed you by the thighs, pulling you closer so your cunt was in perfect line of his fat dick, swiping the head up your slit and shivering when you moaned quietly because of the contact to your clit. this was so surreal, he was living in a dream and he never wanted to wake up. you both hissed when he caught his tip on your hole, eyes meeting once more before he let himself go, hands gripping your hips as he pressed into his your warm, wet pussy. you were going to take all of him. “fuuck..! mnh-“ you almost screamed, trying to adjust to his length. mark didn’t care. neither did you. his cock bullied its way into your tight walls, mark whispered small apologies into your ear as you whined at him, slowly gyrating your hips to try and almost run from the stretch, to give yourself a minute to adjust again, “don’t do that- you don’t have to do anything-“ he started, his warm breath fanning over your neck which caused goosebumps on your skin, “you don’t have to do anything other than lay here.. stay still n’ take my cock.” his words made you tremble, you tried to protest, his mouth blocking your words with a kiss, his dick pressing right up against your cervix with a harsh thrust of his hips, gummy gooey walls clenching down on him, a low “ohhh, ohh f-fu..ck-!” rumbling against your lips.

one thrust and he was immediately pussydrunk, your mouth hanging open and tongue poking out when he drew his hips back, slamming them back into you with uneven, inexperienced movements. he fucked like a rabid dog, his nails digging into your skin as he babbled above you,

“d-do you feel full? can’t push any deeper..” followed by a pressure on your stomach, his hand pressing down so he could feel himself thrusting through your body,

“ghnn..- y/n you feel so much b-better than my fleshlight-!” did he even know what he was saying? your walls tightened around him, the wind being knocked out of your lungs again when he pressed harder, lips working against yours, his vision blanking and ears ringing when you didn’t stop tightening and loosening on him, mushy cunt trying to milk him dry.

you couldn’t do anything but moan breathlessly, pushing the hair falling into his face back, his jaw clenched and forehead sweaty, pressing his head against yours. this was it, this was everything his life had been building up to until now. he thought that maybe he had subconsciously made you fall for him, all of the times he had touched you secretly conditioning your brain. he doubted it, but the idea of him and him only reworking your mind to love him made him keen. “yeah, tha’s right.. take it, c’monnn..” he babbled, his eyelashes wet with tears, not knowing or caring whether they were happy tears or the result of his pleasure. you were right on the edge, your moans getting louder and shorter, scrambling to let mark, your best friend, know that you were going to spray all over his pelvis. you’d squirted before but this felt.. different. warmer, hotter. “c-c-!..” you struggled, eyes crossing and back bowing off of the bed, “fffuck-! ghfuckk yeah..- y-you’re cummin-“ he held your hand, hips stuttering when he felt your tight pussy starting to flutter, the tight coil in your stomach finally snapping;

warmth flooded your insides, legs twitching when you gushed all over yourself and mark. if you weren’t planning on changing your sheets after this, you definitely had to now. white ropes were out of mark’s cockhead riiiight against your cervix, breeding your cunt as if he had no control over himself, which he didn’t. you both panted, trying to balance your breathing. you felt his hips pull back, cock pulling out and opening the floodgates for thick globs of cum to pour out of you, your best friend rolling onto his back and covering his eyes with his forearm, mouth open as he breathed. he was in a daze, completely out of it, both of your liquids stuck to mark’s flaccid dick.

“did you get it out of your system yet?” your voice always bought him back. it was always you, it had always been you. “i… really want to be with you. i wanted- i want you, y/n.” mark spoke sternly, finally being able to complete his sentence from earlier. “i think i could gather that.” you retorted with a laugh. your laugh, his favourite.

you locked eyes, dark murky brown pools staring directly into yours. his pinkie finger hooked around yours, laughter bubbling from both of you. the fairy lights shined in his peripheral vision. the movie’s credits rolled on the screen, the whole movie falling on deaf, horny ears.

it was quiet, the only sounds being of yours and mark’s breathing. this was nice, blissful. peaceful.

“i love you, mark grayson.”

[vampiretendencies]

request; hii ! i absolutely adore your writing and was wondering if you could possibly do “move your blanket, i wanna lay down on your lap.” + lying on the couch on top of eachother, one combing their fingers through the other’s hair as they watch a movie with jj maybank please?

pairing; jj x fem!reader

warnings; fluff

authors note; ofc i can, thank you for requesting, happy valentine’s day !!! requests are open

list of prompts in honor of valentine’s day

JJ was enticed by what was in front of him.

Hot Summer Nights— a movie based primarily on drug deals and romance, both topics that intrigued JJ. All while muggy air, trapped its way into chateau, John B holed up in his room and JJ couldn’t stop peering into the TV screen.

You watched him aimlessly, from the island in the kitchen. Throwing away the remainder of what was left of the Pogues half eaten pizza.

Chin perched on your hand, you were fascinated by the satisfaction on JJ’s face.

Pacing over, you stand directly in front of the TV earning a huff from JJ. He’s cozily entrapped in a wool blanket, legs criss-crossed— his shirtless figure pausing the movie whilst smirking mischievously at you.

“Want some lovin’ don’t you, baby?”

“Mhm. Move your blanket, I wanna lay down on your lap.”

JJ, without hesitation, threw the blanket over his shoulder. Reading you like a book, his lap spreads wider in preparation for you.

“Wanted me this long, you should’ve just asked.”

“Didn’t wanna interrupt your movie, J.”

Your body inclines, crawling into the couch, doing so lowly— as he’d pressed play again. Helping you lie your head pleasingly in his lap. Hand on your shoulder, roaming where it desired but not where it could reach.

And suddenly JJ was disappointed.

He’d found himself trapped, due to the fact that he no longer gave a fuck about the movie. His only care is the passion and devotion he longed to give the lady in his lap.

“Not close enough.”

JJ complained, skin crawling to prod and knead your flesh how he’d yearned. You hummed in response, awaiting JJ actions.

Few pillows fell to the floor, whilst he swiveled his body straight to lay narrowly onto the couch— pulling you upward to perfectly align with him.

Against eachother, bodies squished lovingly against each others. Not an inch had been moved and the rest of the movie went unwatched. The tresses in front of him abandoned and he was tranced to come into contact with them.

“My pretty girl.”

A reminder to himself that he had all he wanted right at his fingertips.

[baratiddyappreciator]

The Baki Cast Cuddle their S/O on their period (SFW)

I'm on my period and shit sucks so I figured I'd write some very self-indulgent fluff, NSFW post coming up soon for the lads and ladies I swear. Also idk if it's just me but I turn into an outright carnivore when I'm on my period. Chocolate, sure, but like, meat?? Meat snacks??? Gimme that shit.

Baki: His arms were wrapped around your chest, avoiding contact with your stomach entirely, his lips pressing softly against your temple as the corny action movie played on the TV, mostly unwatched as he was busy whispering in your ear about how he was sorry he couldn't do much more than just hold you close for the time-being, but that he promised to get you something tasty for supper, Musashi was somewhere outside, probably lounging in a warm patch of sun on the concrete. You'd never been more jealous of a damn dog before in your entire life. Baki nuzzled the back of your head, gently rubbing at a spot on your hip with the pad of his thumb, trying to soothe any aches and pains that might have settled in before your attention was drawn back to the movie, it looked like the action was finally kicking in. The both of you watched the events unfolding on screen for a moment before he spoke up, tone entirely full of confusion.

"Did... Did that priest just turn into a velociraptor??" He asked in such a tiny vulnerable voice it almost made you want to laugh, but all you could do was nod solemnly. "Dude... That's like, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." And he was right, it really was. "Baby, I want you to know that I love you, even if you can't turn into a velociraptor." He said, before kissing your forehead, leaving you to scoff and roll your eyes in amusement.

Kozue: She sniffled, her box of kleenex practically empty by this point, the both of you snuggled up under her comfy blanket, temples throbbing with the headaches that had come on from crying all day. You didn't even remember why you'd both started crying, but clearly it had been needed. She looked over at you, and reached up to tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear, sniffling lightly, her eyes red and puffy. The skin on her cheeks was blotchy and tear stained, but she was still so pretty. One of the prettiest people you'd ever laid eyes on, actually. She sniffled again, tears welling up as she cupped both of your face in her hands, bottom lip trembling as she stared deep into your eyes, your own emotions welling up in response.

"Honey you're just so... You're so... You're just so pretty." She blubbered, and like that, you both started crying again, hugging tightly and sobbing messily, though she did pull back, still crying, to look up at you again with a trembling bottom lip. "Why are you crying? Pretty girls like you shouldn't cry!" She sobbed, completely ignoring that she was also a pretty girl and shouldn't cry.

Hanayama: Your back hurt. You'd been complaining about it all day. Your upper back, your lower back, your neck, just your entire back hurt and felt out of whack. But right now? Right now, you were on cloud nine. Hanayama had just given you the most powerful back massage of your life and put a heating pad on your back while you were laying on top of him, his large hands still kneading at your lower back to soothe any remaining aches. You could probably fall asleep right then and there, but something was keeping you awake. Not that you could figure out what it was. Maybe you were laying weird, maybe you were both too warm and too cold at the same time, or maybe it was something else, but you were fairly sure that Hanayama assumed you were dead to the world. He paused in his massaging to rub up and down your back soothingly, not pulling the heat pad off yet, though you knew he would soon to avoid your skin getting burned.

His face leaned up slightly so he could kiss the top of your head, thumbs returning to their slow, gentle massaging of your lower back muscles, a heavy but comfortable silence reigning as sleep desperately clung to the corners of your eyes, your eyelids becoming heavier as you started fading off to sleep. "I love you baby." He mumbled, kissing the top of your head off, and that was just the edge you needed to drift off to sleep.

Chiharu: You'd been laying in the same spot for a few hours now, and he was getting worried. He hesitantly approached, his only line of defense clutched in front of him like a shield. He knew that a blanket and some candies wouldn't necessarily protect him, but it might give him enough time to appease you and check to see if you needed anything. Your head slowly turned as he stepped on a creaky part of the floor, and he smiled nervously as your gaze locked on him, slowly approaching some more. "H-hey doll, I brought you something." He attempted, your eye locked onto him. Was this it? Was this how he was gonna die? Your hand reached out towards him and made lazy grabbing motions, and he had to hide his exhale of relief. That had been a close one.

"I tossed this blanket in the dryer so it's nice and warm for you, and I've got some sweet treats and a nice warm water bottle for your stomach." He said, approaching cautiously to avoid provoking your ire. You were like some sort of horrifying beast, lying in wait, ready to strike. He offered a nervous smile as he gently draped the blanket over you, earning a groan. He softened. "Do you want me to rub your legs baby? You look sore." He offered, the horrifying beast turning back into his sweet beloved, wrapped up in a blanket and needing some serious TLC.

Katsumi: Food. He had food. You knew he had food, he just wasn't giving it to you. The suspicious looks you were shooting at him since he'd come home from his parents place smelling of brownies had him visibly sweating as he busied himself around the apartment. He tried distracting you with blankets, pillows and snacks, even a back rub and a nice hot bath, but the suspicious glaring persisted until you two were getting into bed for the night. He'd stood in the doorway sheepishly, hands held behind his back as he toed at the floor, refusing to meet your gaze. You didn't even need to ask, because he caved in. "I've gotta admit something, and I think you know what it is." Your eyes narrowed further.

"Mom did send me home with brownies." He said, and your glare sharpened, but he raised his hands in surrender. "BUT! But, they're not baked yet. She didn't have time to do that part. I kept trying to find the time to put them in the oven for you, but you kept getting suspicious." He admitted, coming to kneel beside you by the bed. "Can you find a way to forgive me baby? I promise I won't withhold brownies from you ever again." He said sincerely, holding your hand. You couldn't stay mad at that face, now could you?

Jack: He couldn't stand it. You both looked and sounded miserable, laying on the couch, back turned to the outside world, sniffling, coughing and occasionally letting out tiny whimpers and groans. It was like being kicked in the chest by a guy twice his size. So there he was, sitting on the floor, his chin resting on your shoulder as his large hand rubbed up and down your spine as he asked you what he could do for you to ease your discomfort. Pressing tiny kisses to your shoulder, he rumbled as he gently wrapped his arm over your shoulders so he could wipe away a frustrated tear from the corner of your eyes, turning your face slightly so he could kiss your forehead, resuming the gentle back rubs he was giving you.

Your cramps didn't let up easily, however, and you only started crying more in both frustration and pain, leaving him to stand and lean over you, kissing your pounding tembles as he rubbed between your shoulders. "Hey, don't cry sweetheart, I'm right here. I'll make it better for you, I promise." He muttered, walking around to the other side of the couch. "I'll be right back with something to help, you don't need to tough this out on your own." He said softly, tucking your hair behind your ear and smiling down at you.

Kosho: It was one of the rare moments where Kosho pulled you into bed and let you get comfortable first, prioritizing your comfort above his, even if it meant that he only had a little bit of mattress left, his fingers rubbing little circles above your stomach to ease the cramping muscles, kissing your temple as he held the blankets close to your chin, practically tucking you in with himself right there. He'd retrieved a glass of cold water for you before, the glass sitting on the bedside table just within reach, the smell of lavender and vanilla emanating from somewhere in the other room, presumably some wax melt he'd put on. He kissed your temples again, arms stilling.

"Well? How are you feeling?" He asked, earning a sleepy hum. "Do you want a snack? A drink?" He continued, not giving you the time to answer before he was kissing your forehead and cheeks. "Just say the words, I can do it for you." He promised, kissing your forehead, only to then notice you reaching for the glass of water and realize that he'd been pinning your arm as you tried to grab the glass for a drink.

Kureha: He'd walked in to find you, a puddle of misery on the couch, disgusting, wet sobs leaving your lips from both the pain and the intensity of the emotions you were feeling. He took one look at the writhing mass of pathetic beneath the blankets and sighed, hanging up his coat and wordlessly walking past you towards the bathroom, and then the kitchen, returning to your side with a cold glass of water in one hand and a few pills in the other, the edges of a pad peeking out of his pocket and a pair of clean pajamas over his shoulder, staring down at you over the rims of his glasses, a brow cocked, waiting for you to acknowledge him. He promptly nodded at your hands. "Hold out your palm." He said, depositing the pills in your palm before he held up the glass of water to your lips. "Take these, they'll help a little with cramps." He ordered, and while you obeyed, he started lifting things out of his pocket.

"You're going to want to get changed into these, they're warm but breathable, and you're going to put this pad on." He ordered, watching you stare up at him, sniffling pathetically. You reminded him of a wet cat. "Don't look at me like that, I can't stop the discomfort, but I can make it easier to deal with." He said, clicking his tongue, a slight flush to his cheeks.

Retsu: The whole house smelled like herbal tea, a spread of meals sat in front of you that you didn't think you could finish if you were given an entire decade. Deserts, sat at the furthest end of the table as Retsu sat behind you, lifting another spoonful of soup to your lips so you didn't have to pull your hands out from beneath the blankets and do it yourself. As a matter of fact, he told you outright that he just wanted to spoil you and make you feel better. This was a bit much, but the soup was delicious. All because he'd noticed a single drop of blood on your underwear. "Come on, eat up! There's plenty of nutrients and vitamins in this soup broth that will help ease your cramps and give you energy!" He said, even though your cramps hadn't even started yet. They hadn't had enough time to start yet.

But when you'd told him that, he'd simply grinned. "The best medicine is prevention, the extra nutrients are good for you regardless." A kiss was pressed against your forehead, the bowl being moved aside and a small desert brought up to you. "Some sweets for my sweet, to lift your mood." He said, and you had to admit it, the man was doing a great job at making you feel better already.

Doppo & Natsue: Doppo hadn't had a daughter, though part of him had always known that he'd be the best girl dad in existence. But now, the two women in his life were suffering through their periods together, and he was about to be beaten into submission by only their harsh glares (pleading glances) and evil demands (requests to come cuddle). He was a karate master though! He was strong! He would resist their evil wiles (Attempts to get him to cuddle for a few minutes because their show has a new episode released)! And yet, he found himself yawning as he dramatically slinked onto the couch, throwing an arm over each of his beloveds, grinning at the both of them roguishly.

"So, how are my two lovely demons today, hm?" He asked, and the glares he got in return sent a chill up his spine. "Hang on, I'm just joking, you know I love you both very much, I'm just trying to lighten the mood." He said, trying to defend himself, but it was too late, as pillows smacked his face from both sides. he was strong, but the two of you were clearly stronger.

Shibukawa: For once, he was being really sweet. Oddly sweet. Suspiciously sweet. You didn't want to trust his gestures of affection as genuine, but you would take them as much as you could. Hot soup, a warm blanket, a gentle back rub. It had all been very sweet as your cramps caused you more and more discomfort. You couldn't understand why he was being so sweet until you opened the bedroom closet to find that the shelving units had all collapsed, leaving clothes and your pads to spill out all over the floor at your feet. He could hear the wooden frame crack beneath your grip, his smile staying in place as you turned around, some hulking, frightening beast full of rage. He should have just come clean about the shelf having fallen before you woke up.

"Now now, no need to get upset, I'll clean it all up and fix it, I promise!" He said passively, sipping at his tea as you slowly approached. "You don't have to lift a finger to clean up the mess, I'll take care of all of it, I promise." He said calmly. Of course, he didn't want to mention that he'd been plotting a prank the entire morning and hadn't realized that you'd be getting your period. He simply sat, arms outstretched for a hug, hoping to lure you into a cuddle so he could claim it was an accident so you wouldn't bite his head off.

[pawnshopbleus]

These Are the Days Ten - It's Never Too Late

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader High School AU

For the summary, warnings, and more, please visit here.

Author's note: 😎

Previous Chapter.

Theodore's fitting into your life nicely. It’s been two weeks and your parents have remained silent. They still don’t know about the new addition to the family. If the specks of black and white aren't giving him away then nothing can. Theodore's a quiet dog when your parents are home but loud and rowdy when it's just the two of you. It's as if he can sense that the people who come in at night do not like dogs.  

It’s the weekend and your parents are nowhere to be found. Dina and Jesse are over at your house. It’s been a long time since you hung out, just the three of you. You don’t mind it when Ellie tags along but that usually means her tongue will be down Dina’s throat by the end of the night. 

Dina was draped across your couch while Jesse sat uncomfortably at Dina’s feet. The movie the three of you were watching was some very low-budget one you found on Tubi. It was so hilariously bad that Dina had to step away to collect her thoughts. 

Theodore jumped onto the couch and into Jesse’s lap. Jesse’s eyes widened as he stiffened. He uncomfortably cleared his throat to get your attention.

“Oh, Jesse. I’m so sorry!” You hurried to get Theodore off of Jesse’s lap but as your hands got closer to him, he began to growl. 

You step back and look at Theodore, confused. This was the first time he’s ever growled at you. You go to pick him up again and he begins to growl. This time, his teeth are barred. 

Jesse’s trembling hands go to pet Theodore on his head and he relaxes under his touch. Theodore must really like Jesse for him to act that way. 

“I’m not a dog person. I prefer animals that can fit in my palm,” Jesse says as he uncomfortably pets Theodore’s head. 

“Can you try and pick him up?” 

Jesse’s hands move to Theodore’s sides and he begins to growl again. A bead of sweat falls from Jesse’s forehead onto Theodore’s fur. 

Theodore drifts off into a deep and snore-filled sleep. You now just discovered Theodore’s favorite resting place, Jesse’s lap. 

Dina walks back into the room with a sorry expression. Before she even opens her mouth you know what she’s done. 

“You called Ellie, didn’t you?” you sigh from the couch. 

Dina shoots you a regretful expression and sits down next to Jesse. 

“I’m sorry. She asked me where I was and I couldn’t lie to her…” 

You shrug and rest your head on the armrest. The kind of relationship Dina and Ellie have is extremely physical. They can’t go two seconds without touching each other, which you think is sweet, but if they break up it’s going to kill them and everyone else. 

Ellie’s at your house a few minutes later carrying a bag of snacks. Someone comes in behind her and as your eyes meet who it is, it feels as if you've just been punched in the throat. Abby’s is out of her signature braid tonight. Her blonde hair is down and left flowing in the breeze.  

For the first time that night, Theodore gets off of Jesse’s lap and trots over to Abby and Ellie. He sniffs them and then walks off to the side as if he just permitted them to enter. 

Abby awkwardly enters the living room and sits at the other end of the couch you're sitting on. The movie that was making you laugh just a few minutes ago now sat unwatched as you suddenly found the dirt under your nails very interesting. 

Abby’s hands were clammy. She hadn’t seen you since she got back together with Owen. She could sense that you were the most disappointed out of anyone. She didn’t want to fight, she just wanted her friend back. 

She glanced at you and her heart exploded with envy. She wanted you to look at her with that much interest. You hadn’t looked at her that way ever since she introduced you to Owen. She missed your witty banter and how your mahogany and vanilla shampoo made her head dizzy. How she knew what shampoo you used is beside the point. The periods in which the two of you would stop talking were killing her. Not even Owen could how she felt. 

Owen, Owen, Owen.

The two of you would stop talking every time she would get back with Owen. Maybe he was the problem. But Abby couldn’t break up with him again. She needed to be with him for reasons unknown to her. All her life she’s been told that Owen likes her. That he's a "good boy." People would defend his actions by saying that, “when boys are mean to you that means they like you.” It’s been ingrained in Abby since the moment that she was born. She's supposed to be with him. That’s why they get back together so often. Owen is all that Abby knows. 

Owen is supposed to be with Abby. Abby's supposed to be with Owen.

What about what she wants? 

Ellie tries to crack a few jokes here and there but nothing is making you laugh. You feel sick to your stomach with Abby here. The sight of what she lets Owen do to her makes you want to smash everything in your house and move back to California. At least back in California, there wasn’t a girl haunting your dreams as if she was a ghost. 

Your mind is telling you that you need to talk to Abby. Every relationship can be mended with strong communication. But there’s also another part of your mind that’s telling you to keep everything guarded. You can’t be hurt if no one knows the truth. 

The movie ends and you suggest that you put on another one. The noise from the movie leaves the noises in your head at bay. Dina and Ellie say that they better get home because they “need to do homework,” while Jesse needs to go home to do actual homework. Abby stays silent, her muscles flexing under her long sleeve shirt. For once, you wish she would say something instead of just staring at the floor. 

Ellie, Jesse, and Dina all wave goodbye to you as you close the door behind them. 

Abby’s standing now, her back towards you. 

This makes you angry for some reason.  Everything you've been feeling comes pouring out of your mouth. Both sides of your brain feel like they're fighting each other. One side is scolding you for telling the truth while the other is applauding.

“You don’t even have the decency to face me?” 

Abby turns, her face red. “What is wrong with you?” 

You scoff, “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? You fight with Owen, he cheats on you, he gets a girl pregnant, and you get back together with him!” 

“Friends are supposed to support one another!”

“Supporting is showing up to your softball games, Abby. Not cheering for you when you get back together with your cheating boyfriend.”

Abby's hands are balled up into fists. You’re right and she knows it, but Abby’s stubborn and not going down without a fight. 

“You know nothing about Owen!”

“I know that he got mad at me for not wanting to sleep with him. That’s why I threw that drink on his ugly ass shirt!” 

Fighting with you was nothing like fighting with Owen. You were making great points while he would act like a child. Comparison is never the answer but deep down in her heart she knew that you were everything she wanted.  

“I-he,” Abby chews on her bottom lip. "I'm scared. Everyone in this town loves him and if I end things with him, I'm done. His dad is the captain of the football team which gives him great connections. I'll lose my team, I won't get any letters of recommendation. Everything I know and could possibly dream of is ruined if I'm not with Owen." 

Her confession has you stepping closer to her. You never took into account how Abby's life would be affected if she left Owen. You've been so deep in your selfish fantasies that you forgot that the girl in your dreams is human. She has the right to feel how she does, even if you don't want her to.

Your hands are shaky as you lay them on her shoulder. Her chest rises and falls with every heavy breath she takes. 

“Abby, thank you for telling me that. I never knew how leaving him would affect you."

Abby looks at your hands on her shoulders and then looks at you. "He tried telling me that you weren't good for me. He tried to get me to stop hanging out with you and it worked for a while."

"What changed?" 

"He did. He wasn't answering my texts or calls. I realized it was because he was seeing Mel again. I don't know what to do."

"Abby, look at me."

Her glassy eyes are brimming with tears as they meet yours. A tear falls down her rosy cheek, and as if it was ingrained in you, your thumb wipes it away.

"You are the strongest person I know. You've endured more than anyone. Please tell me that you know that."

She stares at you. 

"Abby, please," you plead with her. 

Abby lets out a shaky breath, "I missed you."

Your hand finds a blonde strand that falls like waves from her head and guides a piece behind her ear. Her hair is soft while the skin on her palms is calloused and rough. The difference between the two is almost laughable.

With one hand on her shoulder and the other in her hair, she finally realizes that you are her everything. Ever since she got that glimpse of you in the window, she's been obsessed with you. She convinced herself that fate brought you to her. You’ve freed her from the confines of her mind. You made her wear her emotions on her sleeve. Everything that you've done has been for her benefit. 

As she looks into your eyes, she finally sees her true self. What she’s been bottling up for years is finally coming out. She’s scared but what’s life without a little fear? 

As if you can sense what’s coming, you nod, giving her permission. 

Her thumb slides over your bottom lip and she leans in. The moment you've been dreaming about is finally here. It doesn't feel real as Abby kisses you with the passion of a thousand Ellie and Dina’s. It’s like something you’ve never felt before. As her lips melt with yours, the both of you are finally realizing what you are. You’re something that modern society fears yet that doesn't scare you. You'd die a thousand times and a thousand painful deaths if it meant that you could spend just one day in Abby's arms.

Abby’s hands snake down into the belt loop of your pants and pull you in closer. Her calloused hands find solace at your waste while she explores your mouth. It’s the first time you’ve kissed anyone in years. It’s sticky, but you like it. Your stomach is doing flips while your heart dances in your chest.

You never want this moment to end and sadly, it has to. Abby looks you in the eyes and you just know that your Abby is back.

Tag list: @rew1nds @colbyweirdo

I low-key feel bad because I'm kind of reducing Dina and Ellie's relationship to physical touch but at the same time this isn't their story so...

I also feel bad for Jesse because he will be a major third wheel soon. At least Theodore likes him!

And lastly, what do you think about Abby and the Reader? Did they make up too soon or is the pacing just right?

Thank you for reading!

Next Chapter - Coming Soon.

[sgiandubh]

So in other words, you agree, Sam and Cait are not very good actors as exemplified by the scene being them and not Beauchamp and Fraser. On that, agreed. She might be a C actor, he's definitely a D

Dear Beauchamp and Fraser Anon,

I suspect you might be a returning one, by the way, hoping to catch me unprepared with a very cheap sophism. Check this concept on Wikipedia if you wish, but I will give you my definition: manipulated or derailed logic, i.e. formally sustainable, but in reality just a fallacy; or, if you prefer, a bunch of crap, just for the sake of it. Also, it would be wise not to try these cheap tricks on someone trained to work with words and doing so every single day: you might find no satisfaction, ultimately.

Fun fact: I don't agree with any single word you just wrote. Sam and Cait are very good and gifted actors. Both of them. They did wonders with a very inconsistent script and under barbaric public pressure. What dragged you in here, Anon? Mrs. Gabaldon's florid, even luxuriant prose? What kept you in here, Anon? Blood and sperm and rape galore? I should wish you were honest, at least for once in your life, and let your answer be 'not really'.

What I meant by that phrase was something very simple: the actors' life experience deeply informing and sublimating their performance. If you think real and creative lives are strictly separate affairs in any intellectual endeavor, then you are probably completely unfamiliar with anything remotely related to writing, singing, playing (an instrument), acting, composing or painting. All these are akin to magic and all of the above are a summoning of sorts: ask any 'content creator', you will probably get a very similar answer. In Cait and Sam's case, their real life story nurtures and elevates their acting, despite people like you.

I am not an actor myself, but a long time ago it was acting that liberated me and taught me to not be afraid of anything. I did not make a living out of it, but I will always have the tools making me able to access that very special energy, any time I should need it. So, I can only offer you an educated opinion of These Two:

C is a very, very good actress. She is classy, sophisticated and knows instinctively how to occupy a stage or a set. She worked and progressed a LOT since Season 1, when it took me a good while to warm up to her. Add to this what I think is arresting beauty. Not really a C-level, in my book.

S is a wonderfully gifted actor who, unlike C, does not have any idea of this potential and, to be honest, gives the impression to even not care about it. He singlehandedly dominated some of the most difficult moments of the series (that unwatchable Wentworth episode comes to mind). His mastery of the Stanislavski and Lecoq methods and techniques is excellent. He is likeable, personable and has an innate emotional intelligence, helping him navigate and compensate the weaknesses of (yes, I insist!) an often insufficient script. I have already written about it, with arguments, when I found some very interesting parallels between The Fiery Cross episode and Laurence Olivier's performance in Shakespeare's Henry V. I will say it again: this guy has been grossly miscast, spare for JAMMF.

Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the whole preparation and rehearsal process when producing a movie or a series or a theatre show. These people don't just learn their lines by heart and turn up for readings and rehearsals. They also read and watch a lot of things that could help them build better, more credible characters. But what makes the sometimes very subtle difference between a decent performance and a stellar one is the amount of themselves they allow inside their acting. And in this respect, I think Sam and Cait have been very lucky, in what is a very clear case of Art (instinctively) imitating Life.

I doubt this answered your question and to be honest, I don't care.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Wednesday matinee Intermission pic! Behold (again) Mrs Wingate's housekeeper, Geraldine! (With the correct collar this time!) #actorslife #actor #goodspeedsummerstock #musicaltheatre #ensemble #understudy #worldpremiere

Is it "Nan," the wardrobe mistress, or is it Lucille Ball? 😉 #actorslife #goodspeedsummerstock #newmusical #worldpremiere #costumes #characteractor

so the film's role of the housekeeper at falbury farm (which jane inherited from her late father) who is then Around, helping out, apparently having known the sisters at least from childhood and having fun facts about it, and going from disapproving towards the whole notion of thee performance arts to implicitly having dropped that due to supporting jane from backstage, and is basically like some older family member, is presumably supplanted by pop falbury, who could then do all that & more, makes sense. but we get An housekeeper as an ensemble part lol

Behold Mrs Wingate's housekeeper, Geraldine! 😉 #intermissionselfie #intermissionpic #newmusical #musicaltheatre #musicals

which, great time to point out the intrigue around, say, the second act one scene set at the wingate house, like, what is montgomery, fancy would-be lead actor in the show within the show, doing there at all? would love to know

[indieyuugure]

How do you feel about the new version of the turtles in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem and are you excited for the upcoming series (Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)?

🐢❤️💙💜🧡🍕

10/10 awesomeness for the movie.

The TV series? …mgh.

Look, I’m very excited, but I have extremely low expectations. Spin off series are rarely good, most are unwatchably bad. My current expectations are a cringe teen high-school drama with cool graphics/action scenes and a pretty good soundtrack that keeps the the show mostly tolerable.

Obviously I’ll still watch it—I’ll probably love it too—but I’m hoping to be pleasantly surprised if the show isn’t the above. High hopes, low expectations.

Seriously though the movie was a masterpiece.

Good question! :]

[p0orbaby]

Ass Play

summary: just what is says on the tin really…

a/n: this has been in my drafts for so long. It’s also unedited so pls ignore how bad it is

warnings: SMUT 18+ ass stuff (who’d have thunk it), fingering, oral, pregnant wanda being soft and horny, slight dom vibes

word count: 2k

-

She was insatiable.

There wasn’t any grounds for you to complain. If anything you were thanking the gods, but you had to admit, Wanda was less like a woman than she was a bitch in heat.

Morning, noon and night came with, well, Wanda cumming. There wasn’t a mealtime that wasn’t finished with an orgasm for dessert. Sweating in the kitchen was normal when you were over the stove. But sweating in the kitchen from the vigorous movements your body was making in order to get your wife off was not something you’d find in your typical recipe book.

Your couplings, if you will, have resolutely migrated from the bedroom accordingly. Kitchen counter sex? Great. Bathroom sex? Standard. Sex on a garden chair? Unexpected, but better than anticipated with the breeze cooling down your tacky skin.

There was no off switch. If she wanted to fuck you, she would. Bending down to load the dishwasher. Brushing your teeth ready for bed. Pulling weeds from the garden path. Any possible scenario was a trigger for your wife to get her hands all over you.

And this latest escapade was no different.

It was mid afternoon on a Tuesday, and with nothing else to do you decided to sit down and watch a movie. Wanda was nowhere to be found. Concluding she had gone for a nap it was the perfect time to give your tongue and fingers a rest, and recoup before your wife inevitably wanted you again later on.

The afternoon sun beamed through the windows when the opening credits started. Causing you to settle lazily against the fabric cushions of the couch and bring the snacks you have acquired up to your chest ready for eating.

The film lasted five minutes before you heard faint footsteps from upstairs. You couldn’t say you were annoyed, because you enjoyed the company of your wife dearly. But this was a film that’s been on your watch list for a while and with her now having been roused somehow, it may have to remain unwatched.

As soon as her steps changed from soft pads muted by the carpet upstairs to light slaps of her bare feet against the hardwood, you paused the movie and craned your neck to take a look at her.

Hair once in a perfected messy bun, now askew from sleep. Some strands were even stuck to her face from the apparent heat radiating upstairs. Even though her large stomach stretched the material, she looked swamped in her bedclothes. If you could call one of your extremely oversized university T-shirts and old decorating sweats bedclothes.

“Hey, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?” You asked, voice soft and calm as she made her way around the couch and into your lap.

She smelt like her citrus shampoo and the warm scent of freshly clean sheets as you nuzzled your face into the crook of her neck.

“Better now I’m with you”

“I thought it best to leave you alone so you could get some sleep”

“Hm”

“What? Oh c'mon don’t give me that look, what’s the matter?”

The pout covering her face would be comical if you weren’t a fraction worried that you’d done something wrong.

“I had a dream. You were in it”

“Alright. And what was I doing in this dream? I’m hoping it was something forgivable”

“Well, we were in bed. It was the early morning on a cold winter's day”

She shifted in your lap so she was straddling you now. Legs bent and planted either side of your waist as her arms circled around your neck.

“And what were we doing in bed on this frigid winter morning?”

“Oh you know, keeping eachother warm the way any madly in love couple would”. Your hands grabbed at her ass as she started to grind into you. You knew where this was going but you wanted to see how she got there before you took fully over. “You woke me up with your tongue in my cunt you see”

“Did I? Doesn’t sound like something I would do”

“No? Well it made me so sad that I wasn’t woken up with you between my legs, but by your sons sitting on my bladder”

“My sons, hm? We’ll see about that when they’re crying for food and you’re the only one with milk in their tits to do something about it”. Wanda moaned as you brought a hand up to grab at her chest through her shirt. “Even though I’m not looking forward to having to share you with them”

“You don’t have to share me now”

“I don’t”

“And I’m still horny from my dream”

“Why am I not surprised?” Her hips canted against yours without rhythm. Grinding against your leg, praying to find any form of friction through her sweats. “Bend over then. Over the arm of the couch, ass in the air for me like a good girl”

You did have to help her move slightly just because her stomach caused her issues with balance these days. But she was in position in no time, forearms used to keep her upright and knees spread slightly apart.

Settling yourself on your knees behind her you grasped the waist of her sweatpants and pulled them half way down her thighs. Giving you ample room you bury whatever body part you wanted into her dripping hole.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be”

You started with your fingers. Tracing delicate lines against her lips as you coated her with her own want. It was slow and teasing and you knew full well what you were doing, but you didn’t care.

When you’d deemed your teasing enough, you shuffled back so you could finally get to what she wanted. Your mouth on her. So you spread her cheeks slightly and slotted your face in between her legs, your mouth finding her slick and swollen.

“Oh fuck”

You lapped her up. Tongue flicking over her clit, tasting it like you’d never had a decent meal your whole life. But it wasn’t enough. You needed more. So you buried your face in further, almost suffocating yourself as you stuck your tongue in her pussy as far as you could reach. So far forward that your nose was practically buried in your wife’s asshole.

“Oh fuck, do that again”

You did, you probed her entrance deeply once more.

“No, not that. When you touched my asshole. That. Do that again”

Hang on a second. Did she say what you just thought she said? You stopped your movements and blinked the shock from your features as you rose to your knees again.

“I- did you just, you want me to play with your ass? Like your actual asshole?”

“Mhm. Please baby”. When you didn’t reply, she turned on her elbows to look at you over her shoulder. Her face was flushed and her eyes were dark. She was serious about this. “Stop looking at me like I have two heads”

“I’m not. I just didn’t expect you to want that. Like, ever”

“Well I do. Like, now”, she mocked. Please can you just get on with it? You’re killing me here baby”

You were tentative at first. Not wanting to overstep. But she did ask you after all, so surely doing this would be okay? Right?

It was your index finger that brushed over her first. Even with your hesitant hand it puckered under your touch. Wanda moaned at the sensation and pushed her behind towards you for further stimulation. You obliged by pressing harder. A combination of circular and up and down movements to gauge what she preferred. Both it seemed.

“Oh fuck that feels good”

“That good? Tell me how you want it”

“Want your tongue, your fingers”

“Hmm, not enough” you mulled. Removing some of the pressure your finger was giving. “Gotta be more specific, baby. Can’t just guess what my girl wants, can I?”

Wanda’s hips stuttered again as she searched for your fingers blindly behind her.

“If you keep moving, I’ll stop,” you warned gently. “Tell me where you want me, Wanda. Tell me what I know you need”

“Fuck, lick my wet pussy. Lick it and use your fingers to play with my ass”

Her words were strained. Tight in her chest. She almost sounded as if she was in pain. Almost. You’d stop if you ever got the incling she was hurt.

“Hmm, that’s more like it”. Satisfied enough with her answer, you gave in somewhat. Yes, you were doing this for Wanda’s pleasure, but you were having just as much fun. There were very few times you’d be reluctant to try new things in the bedroom. Or living room, in this case. But you’d happily give your left kidney to keep this going for as long as she was willing.

“Fuck you’re so tight”. Her hole swallowed your thumb. Slowly sinking in knuckle by knuckle until it was gone. Sheathed in the warmth of her ass. The rest of your fingers splayed flat at the bottom of her spine to keep her steady.

You gave her time to adjust to the feeling before you moved to taste her again. Too much at once might end this sooner than you would hope for. So once she relaxed and her shoulders weren’t so tense, you proceeded.

Ducking your head, you started with a lick. A slow stripe up the center of her. Tasting her on your tongue. listening to her body react to you. Along with a soft moan, you heard her nails dig into the material of the couch. Gripping to keep upright.

Then you sucked. Hard. Pulling her clit roughly into your mouth as curling it with your tongue. All the while probing her ass. Feeling her clench around you.

A sob left her mouth. Strangled and desperate as you went at her with fervour. Sucking and swirling and loving every second of the way she wriggled and squirmed at your actions.

Her orgasm came unexpectedly. Only moments after you’d really gotten into it. But when warm liquid ran down your mouth and over your chin, the speed in which she came didn’t matter. It made this whole thing a game. Now you were determined to make her come as many times as you could.

Abruptly removing your thumb from her now relaxed hole, you replace it with your tongue. Face now slick, the lack of friction was torturous. Lips and tongue gliding over her as she shook from pleasure. Back arched. Right leg now firmly planted on the floor with her toes curling into the shag rug.

It was messy. It was uncoordinated. The wet sounds bouncing off the walls were dirty and you were grateful your house was far enough away from your neighbours that loud noises weren’t a concern.

“I’m close, fuck, please”

At her admission, you stuck your fingers into her pussy. Now puffy and red with arousal. So with a few expertly angled thrusts, she was over the edge again. Shuddering beneath you. Gasping for air as she twitched.

An anticipated arm stopped her from slumping face down onto the couch. Helping her be pulled back so she was sitting against your chest. No doubt creating damp patches on the sofa as she sat naked from the waist down in front of you. No matter. That’s what cleaning products are for.

“I enjoyed that”, Wanda said after a while. After her chest had stopped heaving and she was like putty in your hands. Warm and pliable. “Probably a little too much in all honesty”

“I enjoyed it too. Maybe not enough”

Wanda twisted to look at you, a flash of concern in her eyes as she took in what you just said. You noticed her flushed face. The pink addition to her cheeks, and it was hard to deceive her when she looked like that. Even if it was just in jest.

“If you didn’t like it, we don’t have-“ slight panic had notably set in. Her mind working a mile a minute for ways to apologise for pushing you into something you might not have wanted.

“I think I might need a few more rounds to draw a final conclusion. You know, for research purposes”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, definitely”

[james-stark-the-writer]

okay. it finally feels like the vibe is right, so, now seated for Saw X. after how unwatchable Spiral was, i just hope this is at least fun, if nothing else. i see it's almost 2 hours, like Saw III, so i hope it doesn't have the pacing issues that one did. besides that? i don't know really anything about it at all. i know people really like it, so i'm cautiously optimistic going in. oh! i do know the director for Saw VI (the best one in the franchise) directed this, but he also did Saw 3D (almost the worst, but Spiral exists so it's not the worst one) so ig let's see which end of the spectrum Kevin lands on this time, if he makes another PEAK Saw or another movie that makes me question what the fucking point even was of making these movies. i don't even know where the movie could go, plot-wise, after Jigsaw and Spiral, so i'm hoping to be surprised in a good way. anyway, let's get into it.