#how did we find each other in this vast ocean that is tumblr who knows

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

If I had a nickel for every French speaking followers I know I have I'll have, hm... four nickels

[blueberrypossum]

A Date Down Under (GN Reader x Leo)

OH MY GOSH IT’S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I’VE POSTED!!

If you guys are wondering where I’ve been I write more on A03 with two original fanfics in the making! But, my tumblr account deserves some love too! This fanfic has been siting in my file for a long while and I originally wanted to post it when I was deep in the ROTTMNT fandom (still love it and miss it man). So, I decided to take out my oc in it and make it a reader fanfic so everyone can enjoy!  @bootyyy-shaker9000 ​ I know how much you love Leo so have some of the wonderful boy in blue!!

When Leo asked you if you wanted to celebrate your Friend Anniversary in the Lost City, you couldn’t refuse. 

 The feelings for the turtle though were getting tougher and tougher to maintain. Leo was always the flirt, and you tried to not let him play with your heartstrings, but now a blush would creep around your face whenever he would fire a one-liner or when he would push the physical contact to the extreme. 

You weren't used to so much affection, nor letting the addiction of being touched take over you like a drug. 

But you have seen the way Leo fake flirts with others, and just believed that he was just doing the same thing to you, because you were just friends, right? 

You were brushing your comb through your hair when your phone started to vibrate on your desk. You brought it up to your ear as you got comfortable in your seat.

“Hello?”

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

There were a few knocks on your bedroom window.

“Me.”

You giggled and walked over to the window and pulled back the blinds to see the one and only Leonardo Hamato, a sly grin on his face as he hung up on the phone. You placed your phone into your pocket and unlocked the window to reveal yourself to him. 

The blue bandana turtle looked a little taken aback as he took in the sight of his best friend. With the season turning colder, you wore something that suited the chilly wind yet sunny season, the cloth clinging to you gently. What caught him off guard the most was the dazzling smile you presented to him, the pure excitement of seeing him causing his bandana to feel tight around his head. 

Leo almost lost his balance as he hopped into your room, sweat growing on him as he tried to find anything else to look at other than you.

“Hey, how's your fever?” He asked, his voice drowned with no confidence, his heart still pounding as he finally glanced over. 

You were picking up your bag and you frowned at the question.

“Hum? What fever?” 

“Oh, yeah, you just look hot to me,” he replied, pressing a confident smile on his lips as he hoped that you didn’t catch him almost slipping up. 

Your cheeks went pink and you playfully slapped his arm.

“Oh hush up and let’s go, we’re burning daylight.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s burning.”

“Oh my gosh, get going, Red Kamon.”

The tall turtle chuckled and pulled out his sword, swiping it around the room until a portal was created. Leo moved to the side and bowed his head towards you. 

“After you,” he purred and you rolled your eyes at him and took a step into the portal and was led right at the center of the Hidden City. The colorful and mysterious city was weird to say the least, nothing but weird creations and magic lingered in the air as yokai walked past you. Leo stepped through the portal and was at your side as you both walked over to the city map. 

Leo used your shoulder as a rest while you gazed over at the map.

“Where do you want to go, shorty?” He asked as your eyes scanned the different areas and pointed towards the Witch Town.

Your mind seemed clouded from the close contact and you pointed to the spa.

“What about here? Sounds interesting.”

“Can’t do. My idiot and less attractive twin got us turtles banned there,” Leo commented and soon his arm snaked around your neck and was completely over your shoulders, bringing you close enough that you could feel his breath over your cheek. 

“What about here?”

“Nope. They banned me there.”

“How did you get banned from a spa?”

“My dashing good looks were just too much for them.”

You let out a gust of air and knew the real reason, Donnie told you the whole funny scenario of Leo needing hair to get into the spa, totally backfired and threw him in jail. 

“What places are you not banned from, blue?” You asked, turning over to him with your arms crossed. 

He gave you his signature smile and leaned down till you were face to face, his beak just a few inches from your nose. 

“Here, just those two places. Your heart? Never.”

“Then what about the Pirate Bazaar?” You mumbled, your heart almost leaping out of your chest as Leo’s eyes widened with excitement.

“Ohhh, I’ve been there! But only for a little bit, let’s go!” He squealed and took your hand and led you through the crowd of animals and other subjects of yokai. His three-fingered hand was cold against your warm one, and you knew Leo and his brothers like closeness to you and April since you were the only warm-blooded creatures; Splinter was too but hugs were hard to get from him. Still, the hand holding made others look over and gush at you two, as if you were a couple. 

If only.

He didn’t let go as he took you into lesser crowds, bringing you closer till your arms were touching. You then realized he wasn’t wearing an outfit, but then remembered most of the yokai’s were clothesless as well. His muscles bounced as he walked and you had to do everything to not wrap your fingers around the growing muscle. 

STOP STOP STOP THINKING LIKE THIS! HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!

His thumb started to brush against yours as he turned to you and you swore you saw a red dash against his cheeks, and it wasn’t his stripes.

“You’ve been friends with me for a whole year! Please, do tell how great it must’ve been to be called my best friend,” he said slyly, wiggling his non-existent eyebrows, causing you to laugh. The joyous melody made Leo weak in the knees.

“You mean, me always having to save your shell from dangerous bad guys, having to endure all your jokes, and then the constant-CONSTANT- marathons of Jipiter Jim and Lou Jitsu to the point all I could do was speak quotes from the movies.”

“Oh yeah, may I remind you that you would text me excited about every movie date? Didn’t someone make their signature hot chocolate just for me when I showed this specific someone their now favorite movie? Ring any bells?” He replied back.

“Pffts, you know what? Your one-liners stink.”

The sword yielding turtle let out a gasp and grasped where his heart would be over his plaston as if he had been shot as he looked down at you. 

“My one-liners stink like Raph’s victory stink!”

You laughed and took back his hand and Leo felt his heart flew as your warm hand was gripping onto his cold one. You took the lead and finally made it to the entrance of the pirate grounds. There were booths of stuff that were related to the pirate theme of the area and some were just random selections of things to sell. The smell of seafood and other fried foods drifted into your nose and you led Leo to the entrance. 

After getting Lost City Cash at a money machine, you both took a selfie at the front entrance, Leo bringing you close and him having to lean down due to your height.  

There was a goblin looking woman in the booth at the entrance and the woman took your money and gave each of you a bracelet to get on rides and such. 

“For an extra 20 dollars, you can have a custom pirate outfit that you can switch on and off with ease,” she explained and you and Leo shared the same look, giving the worker a simple nod. She pointed to where single bathrooms were after she got the money.

“Last one there is a rotten turtle egg!”You challenged out as you raced over to the bathroom stalls, the mutant turtle schoffing and charging after you.

With a little bit of magic, you were able to think up your very own pirate outfit with a second band around your wrist so that you could switch it off and on with ease. Leo picked the same outfit he had when he first came to the pirate utopia with Hueso, but didn’t pick an eyepatch this time since he didn’t want to trip in front of you. 

You quickly raced out of the changing room after saying thank you to the worker who helped you and looked around, your eyes trying to find the mutant turtle in the crowd. You spotted the long strands of his bandana and felt yourself shudder at how good he looked in a pirate outfit, how the white shirt clung to him and how he had his sword hung against his side instead of over his back. You swallowed the saliva that was swimming in your mouth and quickly dashed over to him, clearing your throat before you spoke in the worst pirate accent. 

“My, my, isn’t ye the best booty I’ve ever seen in these vast oceans!”

The red slider turtle quickly turned around but you moved out in front of him.

“Aye, wanna shiver me timbers?” You laughed, throwing another one-liner at him and he turned, his eyes going wide as he almost told you that if you were a pirate, you would be the most beautiful treasure that no man or woman could handle or capture. If you were a pirate he could definitely walk the plank. 

“Those jokes are so lame, that they need a peg leg,” he replied, almost hating himself fully for using one of Huesos jokes instead of his own. But you flashed him a smile anyway and motioned him to follow as you made your way through the crowd. 

The teenage turtle felt his heart leap after you and gave chase as you made it to the center of the pirate theme park. 

Once in the middle, you pulled out the map the woman at the booth gave you and started to read over the activities that you could do. 

Leo leaned down close, still a little out of breath, but his confidence had awoken him as he said: “Ya certainly put a shiver in my timber!” he said in a deep pirate accent. You booped his beak away from your face and he blew a raspberry on the index finger.

“So, there is a treasure adventure we can go on, a booth section of stuff to buy, a pirate show of a reenactment of pirate history-Oh! They have timed dances throughout the area! And you can join in!” 

“Are you going to join in?”

“Maybe. I could finally dance with someone who doesn’t only do fortnite dances and dabs.”

“Hey, my moves are almost like a work of a pirate ship.”

“Old and needs remodeling?”

“What?! No! Unique and cool.”

You rolled your eyes and wrapped your arm around Leo’s and led him to the show since it was the closest. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You stood on the pier as ships and flying creatures dashed by, the glowing lights of the underworld turning into a creamy orange to signify that the day was coming to an end. You leaned your arms over the railing as you scrolled through the photos that had been taken throughout the day. You couldn’t help but smile at seeing your goofy pictures and would scroll past the ones you took specifically of Leo without him knowing. 

Speaking of the turtle, he leaned in close to your shoulder as he noticed that your attention was not on him.

“Whatcha lookin at?” He asked, his head slowly getting closer. You felt your body grow warm and quickly turned your phone. 

“Bruh,” you giggled and he gave a quiet chuckle and tried to snatch the phone. 

“If you’re looking at something, then as your best friend I have a right to see.”

“Fine, hang on.”

You quickly saved the single photos of him into a secret file and moved the phone between them, his head still on your shoulder as he scrolled through the photos, both of you laughing at the one where you fought the pirates and failed. 

“What about you? I know you took photos of today for your social,” you commented as you placed your phone into your bag. 

Leo took out his phone and hid it out of sight since his home screen was a picture of them together at an abandoned skatepark and he had you in a piggyback ride and he just had to capture the moment. He handed his phone without thinking and started to go through your bag due to boredom.

You scrolled through the photos until you stopped at a specific one. You didn’t remember him telling you to pose for this photo; it was when you had stopped to eat dinner and you happened to watch one of the kids getting a fake pirate hook from a vendor. Your head was supported by your hand as a breeze caused your hair to ripple around your face in an alluring photo. A blush rushes to your face as if you had been hit and soon you started to scroll faster and found more photos of just you; of you waiting in line, in your pirate outfit, several were taken of you during the pirate treasure hunting, when you grabbed a candle from one of the booths in excitement, he even got a cliche photo of you holding his hand while you led him through the crowd. 

You felt your heart stop in your ribcage and looked over at the ninja turtle, who was still looking through your bag as if he was hunting for treasure. You didn’t want to snoop, but you couldn’t help but exit out of his camera roll and looked through his folders on the right side; there was a folder for comic books, shopping, epic moments, even a puns list, then found it at the bottom. It was labeled with a first letter of your name and a heart, and with twitching fingers, you opened it. It wasn’t many photos but enough to where you almost dropped his phone into the water below. There were pictures of you whenever you both hung out, and some he probably got from your social. 

Holy Hot Soup, he liked you.  

“Okay, now you really look like you have a fever,” Leo commented as he reached for his phone, causing you to swallow and quickly turned off the device and handed it back to him.

“But don’t worry, Doctor Neon Leon will help you get all better,” he said in a baby voice and wrapped his arm around you and brought you close. 

“Maybe you need some Vitamin ME,” he whispered and you laughed at yet another ridiculous one-liner made by him. He grinned at the sight of you laughing and rested himself against your side, taking in your scent and warmth. 

“Maybe I do, where do I get my prescription Aka Kamon?” You asked slyly, a shit eating grin on your face as Leo blushed. Whenever you could, you would fire back a one-liner and was overjoyed to see him be the one to get flustered and a stuttering mess. 

“ Oh, um, well,” he stuttered and mentally kicked himself as he couldn’t think of something to say back and then a question he always wanted an answer to.

“Are you ever going to tell me what those words mean?” He asked. 

“Are you ever going to open a book and find out for yourself.”

“Ha! Jokes on you, I don’t know how to read. And also, there are phones now, boomers.”

“Then look it up.”

“JuSt GiVe Me A hInT.”

You released a sigh and gave him a look while he returned to you his huge puppy dog eyes look and placed his hands together as his bottom lip wobbled as if he was trying to get out of trouble. 

“Finnnne, but only because it’s our best friend’s day.”

You poked the red stripe against his face and then pointed upward, a smirk growing on your face as he gave a confused one.

“WHAT KIND OF HINT IS THAT??”

“A pretty good one in my opinion.”

The red slider turtle let out a large groan as he crossed his arms, his face growing tight as he tried to think of what the hint meant. 

“Are you just calling me stripes but in Japanese?” He said with a groan. 

“Leo you insult me, it would be kind of stupid to call you stripes in both English and Japanese.”

He mimicked your talking right as you finished and he received an eye roll as he continued on thinking.

 So, it wasn’t the stripes, maybe the color? Or the shape?

“Man, this is hurting my brain, this best friend day sucks.” He said as he stuck his tongue out at you.

“Okay, okay. The two words are a color and a shape. Is that better?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

You continued to watch as Leo tried to put the pieces together and you wished you could get this on video, but it would be too obvious, so instead you painted it into your mind. 

“So, the color is totally red, but the shape I’m lost at. Why did you point at the sky? Is that a clue? Why did you make this so difficult?”

“Because I’m a difficult person.”

“I do like a challenge.”

“One more hint, it’s the shape of something in the sky.”

Leo looked up at the fake Lost City sky and squinted as the fake sun started to set and the moon would start to rise. 

“Red Moon?”

“Close. It’s Red Crest.”

The blue bandana turtle searched the horizon for an answer for why you called him that as you looked away due to embarrassment. 

“Why?” He simply asked as he looked over; he could always tell when you were nervous, your eyes would always dart around and your left foot would start to shake. You rose to a tallen stance though and looked over at his hands.

“I just find your marks...alluring. In Japanese culture, the red moon is respected due to its power. I just thought you deserved to have a nickname that represented you.”

Leo felt his face go completely red that it could put Raph’s mask to so much shame that it would go bland. All this time he thought you were just calling him something insulting in Japanese, but it was a nickname that you made up for him. Not like Raph’s, Donnie’s, Mikey’s or April’s, it was one you made up for him and only him. 

“Stop looking at me before I throw you off this dock so I can live the rest of my life without this embarrassment,” you laughed nervously as your fingers combed through your hair and let out a shaky breath. 

Leo started to get his little shakes as he let out a confused laugh. 

“All this time I thought you were calling me a stupid turtle or somethin in Japanese, whoa oh boy was I wrong.”

You both looked away from each other and the atmosphere became heavy. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, I still don’t know, you thought, but then you felt his finger poke your elbow and looked over at him, and the soft expression on his face almost made you melt.

“But how can I stop looking at you?”

Your breathing immediately hitched.

“Are you blushing? It’s a good feeling to know that I do it.”

You could only cover your face as you leaned against the railing on your elbows and looked between your fingers at him. You hated being so flustered up, but with Leo dripping with confidence, it made you want to curl into a muttering mess. 

Leo watched you with amusement and went to touch you, but then fell back. He remembered how he started the physical touch between you two, holding your hand, always leaning on you, every movie night you would be his cushion. But you two couldn’t kiss, couldn’t cudde too close, he couldn’t tell you he loved you more than just a best friend.  

 He hated how the day went by so fast and now he wanted to do what he has wanted to do for months. But he couldn’t work up the courage, he had a ton of one-liners to ask you out, to ask if you returned the feelings, even though he was mutant turtle that lived in the sewer and fought enemies that could destroy the whole world and wholly Ōdachi he can’t ask you to be a part of that life. 

But, the way you would smile at him and how you always gave him credit for the growth into someone you wanted to be. How you saw something in him that he didn’t even see, and he wanted to keep being whatever you saw. 

He just wanted you.

So, he worked up the courage, tried to make the sweat stop rolling down his body, and looked at person he had fallen for

“Y/N.” 

You tensed up, you had never heard Leo sound so serious in his life. 

“Yeah?” 

“With this being.....I mean if I’m wrong. Would you consider this a date-date?” He spilled out, and he wanted to climb into his shell like Mikey and never come out. He let out a gust of air and didn’t look over at you, his fingers messing within each other. It was silent between you, the city life buzzing around them as yokai’s came and went. You wanted to scream out in joy and say yes a hundred times, but you also had to be careful, along with if Leo was being a bubbly mess, you wanted to take advantage of it as long as you could. 

Spotting a red and blue flower with a bright yellow center growing on the side of the deck, you wrapped your fingers around it and pulled it from its roots. To Leo’s surprise, you pushed your way under his arm until it was back over your shoulders. The blush on his face was noticeable and with being against his chest you noticed his uneven breaths. 

“I do. And I would like more of them, if you want to.” You answered and handed him the flower. He shakenly took the flower in his hand and his confidence came crashing back to him, knowing that the feeling was mutual. As quickly as you gave him the flower he leaned over and placed the flower over your ear. Your eyes widened with surprise and quickly averted them away, a nervous but sweet chuckle escaping your lips. But the Red-eared slider never averted his gaze away from you. 

“I would like that too,” he answered back. 

You both stood there for a while, your head curled into Leo’s chest as his own head rested on yours. You were used to being close, but this was different, this filled you up with knowing and it made the physical connection much more warmer and scarier. Little lights started to flicker around as the city started to get dark, even with no sun or moon. Leo brought you closer and buried his face into your hair, a long sigh escaping his lips in content, his mind slowing down for once and just taking in this moment.

 But the moment went quicker than expected as a low yawn escaped your mouth and the red slider turtle remembered that it was getting late. 

“Alright, sleepy head, I think it’s time to raise anchor and set sail for home,” he joked as he lifted himself off of you and then held out his hand. With a roll of your eyes, you gladly took it and let him lead you back to the entrance of the Pirate Bazaar. He could just use his sword, but he wanted to juice out every moment with you.

The hand hold was different in some way, you gripped his hand tighter and when he came to a stop you would use your other hand to lightly touch his biccup before continuing on. 

You gave the booth teller their costume bracelets back and walked a few feet ahead before Leo pulled out his sword and created a portal. 

He once again bowed his head as he moved to the side. 

“After you.”

Through tired eyes she gave him a smirk as she was halfway through the portal. 

“Thank you.” 

He followed you through the portal and took the step onto your apartment’s fire escape, the flashing lights of New York City spilling over your side as you opened your bedroom window;  throwing your bag inside before turning to Leo. You both turned to each other and then quickly averted eye-contact with each other. 

“I had a lot of fun today, Leo. Thanks for being a good fri-” you stopped yourself since you didn’t know if you two were still just friends, or more.

He let out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Yeah, chief, it was,” Leo said  and then let out a groan at the terrible execution.

 You knew that you had to make the first move now or else you both would accidentally place yourselves into the “friend zone”.

 “Leo, can you bend down a little bit?”

“Why? Tired of being the only short one?”

“You can say that.”

He bent down till he was on your level, a smug smile on his lips. You let out your form of a chuckle as you curved your fingers under his chin. The teenage turtle instantly felt weak in the knees and thought that his legs would give out from under him and became a stuttering mess as you both made eye-contact. 

“Um, haha, is it hot or did you know that, uhh,” he mumbled as you tilted his head to the side and placed a small kiss against his red stripe, instantly making his whole body, for once in his life, burning. 

Your lips were soft against his skin and he stood there as you leaned away and climbed back into your room. 

“Goodnight, Leo,”you mumbled, your hands shaking against the window. 

“N-night.”

You closed the window and walked away while Leo stood there, his mind racing a hundred miles an hour. He got a kiss from you, from you. He never felt so much adrenaline rush through his body and all he wanted to do was go back in time so he could’ve moved his lips over. 

He took a step towards the window and then took that step back. What should he do? What could he do? Were you both dating now? Or were you two at the very edge of the line of a relationship?

He wanted to call his brothers or April for advice, especially since she would slap some sense into him. His shakes were coming back.

He let out a grunt and rubbed his eyes as he tried to decide what to do. He looked back at the window and saw that you had turned on your lights. He walked up to the window and knocked.

You had just gotten out of the bathroom when you heard the light tap against your window and your heart started to race faster than it already was. You were already shaken up by having enough courage to kiss him but if that was him then what if he didn’t want the kiss?

The knock came again and you took a few deep breaths before you moved the curtain aside and there he was, his face all flustered up as he gave a small wave as she opened the window. 

“Yes?” You questioned as you leaned your hands over the window seal. You hoped that the silky night of the sky hid your flustered face.

“I honestly didn’t think this far ahead,” he spilled out as he let out a nervous laugh as he leaned against the window. 

You looked up at him and Leo blinked several times in wonderment at the startled expression that crossed your face. Leo took a deep breath and gave you his signature shit-eating grin.

“Knock knock.”

“Wow, you’re doing jokes in the same place now are ya?”

“Just do the joke.”

You giggled and fluttered your eyes mockingly at him.

“Can I who?”

“Who’s there?

“Can I?”

“Can I...Can I kiss you?”

Even though it was a terrible joke, you felt like you could throw up all of your guts for how fast your heart rate was. Kissing him on the cheek was a challenge but at least you didn’t have to worry about his lips against yours. Do turtles have lips? Or beaks?

The word yes slipped out before you had a second thought. 

Before you knew it, Leo’s hands were slipping into your own, the tip of your fingers shaking but Leo reinsured you with a stroke of his thumb  You looked up at him and was taken aback at how handsome he was, how his stripes glowed in the moonlight and his blue bandana flew behind him as he leaned down. 

Oh you were glad he didn’t have his lips puckered or drool hanging out of his mouth like in the cartoons. 

Swallowing any other signs of panic that were trying to build in your body as you leaned in. 

The city of New York continued on around you both as the kiss ended; it was soft and sweet, not a full one, but it left both of you speechless. You felt as if your stomach was falling apart and Leo thought he could slip off the stairway. He was still holding your hands before you both departed, but with your free hands, you grabbed his face and brought him in once again. The red slider turtle’s eyes went wide as moons as this kiss much more, more than he could ever dream of. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist and slightly lifted you up, burying his face into yours under the moonlight. He tangled himself around you as your hands wrapped around his neck and Leo felt his stomach flip at the actions. Your shirt was warm against his chest and he tried to focus in on that instead of the worry of messing this up. He leaned more down as his hand slipped into the back of your neck. Due to the lack of experience, the kiss was sloppy and messy and anxiety swam between the connection between the two of you. 

But it was a tender memory of a kiss between the two of you, to remember as your first. 

You both finally separated, your chest heaving as you tried to get your feelings under control. His arms were still wrapped around you and your hands had slipped down onto his plaston, the hard material rising and falling under your fingers. Leo felt himself lean back, the shock setting in that he just had his first kiss and it was that deep and romantic and that….

The teen turtle felt his shell bump against the railing and you quickly latched onto him to stop him from falling, a horse laugh coming out of your mouth. 

“Guess you can say that you’re falling for me?” You asked, Leo knew now that he had to have a fever for how hot his face felt. He let out a few breathless laughs as he tried to calm himself down, longing and fear still lingering in his heart. 

All he could do was pull you into a hug and whisper out, “I just want to stay here and kiss and hold you and Y/N I can't feel my heart.”

He buried himself into your neck as he once again slightly picked you up, hoping that your warm body would calm him down, but the organ in his chest raced on as you hugged him back, your arms barely going around his shell. 

“Leo, will you be my boyfriend?”

My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend.

The words rang in his head like chimes as he slightly pulled away to look at her, the harsh blush on her face giving him an ego boost as he grinned at her. 

“Being called a boyfriend, eh? Neon Leon already has so many cool names, but boyfriend is probably the best name to be called, especially if it’s only you saying it.”

“Probably? I guess I should just give the boyfriend title to someone else, then.”

“What?! No, no, no. I already called it, I’m your boyfriend capiche? Now come here.” He pulled you into a tight hug and gave you a little spin, a laugh escaping your throat as you held on.

“Leo! We can fall, and my back cannot handle cement like yours!” 

[ellasadventuresinfandoms]

Okay, back in May @isolatedphenomenon asked me if I had an les mis fic recs and I went "oh boy do I !" and then promptly fucked off and disappeared from tumblr for like 6 months...

Anyway on the off chance people are interested, here is my vastly too long list of  my favourite les mis fanfic (that I'm almost 100% sure I'll have accidentally missed some of my favourites off of...)

The vast majority of these are main pairing Enjolras/Grantaire, so I've put those first, divided into multi-chaptered and then one-shots. Below that will be other pairings!

Multi-chaptered

• Witch Boy Series : magic AU, starting with Grantaire solving Enjolras' curse - this is just Incredible world building which gets better as it goes on - my favourite is the Babet interlude

• World Ain't Ready : you know how fandoms tend to have a fic that is just associated with it ? in my experience, for les mis this is it - and well deserved ! High school, fake dating AU with some of the most engaging writing

• BE : Enjolras is dragged back into theatre production, helping Eponine put on a production of Hamlet - really love the characterisation in this, and this is really one of those modern AUs that actually feels like real life - really good writing

• After the End : the definitive apocalypse AU in my eyes - les amis are an underground resistance to the dystopian government - really wonderful characterisation of Grantaire and the amis

• You never have to wonder; you never have to ask. : I tend to find fic by scrolling through bookmarks of a pairing, which means I often see repeats; this is a fic that if I see I just re-read cause I know I'll enjoy it - the amis sparked a failed rebellion, and now 18 months later Grantaire ends up staying at Enjolras' after returning to Paris for Marius and Cosette's wedding

• Your Heart on Your Skin : Soulmate AU with flower tattoos marking important emotions and events - wonderful concept and world building 

• Impatient to Be Free : Daughters of Bilitis AU - if that doesn't make you excited I don't know what else to say to convince you (aside from saying the author is a simply wonderful writer)

• You Dance Dreams : Okay. Not to be over dramatic, but this fic did genuinely qualitatively change my life, in that it was the first thing that got me looking up contemporary ballet and now that's like one of my favourite things and big hobby So. Also its really great writing; music/creative arts school les amis with Grantaire choreohraphing the ballet for Combeferre's opera, with a heavy emphasis on Grantaire realising he really never actually got over Enjolras

• philia : this one is an absolute classic to me, but not given nearly enough recognition - one of the more realistic college AUs ever written, and the writing of Grantaire is so good because it hits the perfect balance of sympathy and annoyance about his behaviour (that's a genuine compliment) 

• Coffee Hooligans : fucking tragedy this never got properly finished, Enjolras leads the amis as social justice vigilantes and tries to hide the criminal bits of his life from R

• Fighting the Hurricane : Pacific Rim AU that's less an AU and more just placing the les mis characters in the Pacific Rim universe. Really good and riveting read, also super interesting depiction of Grantaire

• Weaving Olden Dances : Fairy AU - Grantaire "claims" Enjolras to prevent his execution - really good writing, love Grantaires characterisation 

• Paris Burning : canon era (sort of) where cities have a physical being - Grantaire is Paris and becomes entangled in Enjolras' revolution - oh the world building is truly *chefs kiss*

• Euphoria is You For Me : Enjolras and Grantaire keep meet cuting in a wonderfully written Brooklyn - feels like a love letter to Brooklyn at times, and I really like the characterisation of Grantaire 

• so please just fall in love with me this christmas : Enjolras works for the environmental company Grantaire volunteers at, and keeps getting secret gifts at Christmas - I sound a little like a broken record but the Grantaire characterisation is very good

• You Are the Moon : Wild West esque Space AU - Grantaire has to call on the amis to help rescue Valjean and Cosette, despite Grantaire leaving the amis 6 months before. On re-reading the Enjolras characterisation feels a little rushed, but overall fantastic story telling and the Grantaire arc is a Delight 

• Pandemos : Enjolras is aphrodite, and seeks peace from all his suitors in R/Hephestus' cave

• Pining for You : Hallmark christmas romance - Grantaire returns home to work on his father's tree farm, and Enjolras is the lawyer helping prevent the farm being sold - cute as shit imo

• Once We're Kings : Fantasy AU - a country hosts a ball to marry Prince Enjolras and the rival country sends Grantaire as a fuck you - one of the best ways of doing Enjolras as a prince in a fantasy and just really nicely written

• Never Bitter and All Delicious : Fairy Godmother AU - yes really, yes its genuinely a very good read

• On One Condition : Fantasy AU - Enjolras is a bored knight who finally goes to check out the local dragon, which turns out to be Grantaire - I really like how they capture Enjolras' stubborn nature and it's such a well written soft growth of love between them

• That's How Easy Love Can Be : Les Amis work at a primary school; and its secret santa time! very fun portrayal of Enjolras

• The Lark and Her Lieutenants : re write of canon where Cosette is the leader of the revolution - just *chefs kiss*

• If You Tickle Us, Do We Not Laugh : Grantaire is Enjolras' secret android - really good at writing a relationship that's incredibly loving but just keeps being antagonistic and coming off wrong 

One Shots

• True Colours : AU where you leave colours on the people important to you - Enjolras and Grantaire falling for each other is so soft and gently written its lovely, this is genuinely one of my favourites

• Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right : this one is so good to me, because it builds off my pet hatred of everyone assuming Enjolras doesn't care about (or at least actively show he cares about) his friends

• blooming : very soft post-dystopian utopia that has just a really wonderful sense of hope and light to me

• and the wall leaned away (or: The Pros and Cons of Tilling) : perfectly realised characterizations of the amis, Grantaire needs a date to her final year art exhibition - deals with anxiety over protest in a way that actually hits for me

• not just one of the crowd : R helps run a leftist bakery and bike repair shop - very cute characterisation, and I think more les mis fanfic should link to anarchist essays

• Lovesickness : Enjolras is an idiot and thinks he's sick rather than having a crush - the writing of Joly and Combeferre in this is some of my favourite depictions of these two

• If there's a rocket, tie me to it : absolutely heartbreaking sci-fi AU about the amis as doomed mecha pilots

• Where I Fall is Where I Land : Enjolras is a Roman commander as Rome's power is leaving England, and then meets the pict Grantaire (+ fun soulmark stuff !)

• You Started Foreign to Me : Enjolras moves to america and R is the overnight grocery clerk who helps her learn Spanish - cute fluffy lesbians with a wonderfully written driven Enjolras

• Love Is Touching Souls : very cute soulmate AU - and one I really love for really truly considering the implications of soul marks and creating historical lore around it

• Ten Years : R is a musician, and it non-linearly charts his relationship to Enj from high school to 10 years later

• put up with me then I'll make you see : Grantaire lives above Enjolras, and its christmas - I find it to have a very fun interpretation of pining Enjolras

• A Cat Called Trash Can : this was one of the first les mis fics I ever read (yes I know it says it was published in 2020, but I think it has to be a re-upload or something?) and it does still have a special place in my heart - Grantaire rescues a cat, but Enjolras is the only one with an apartment free to look after it 

• Still I'm Begging to Be Free : inception AU where les amis have to rescue a sleeping R from his own brain

•I'm in it for You : cw: illness, cancer - R has cancer and is being a martyr about telling his friends so Enjolras drives him back from chemo

• walls come tumbling down : sky high au - a very good high school AU with the perfect level of campy superhero powers

• This brave new world's not like yesterday : Enjolras needs a job, so ends up working in a bowling alley with Grantaire and bonding

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

• In Defiance of All Geometry : les amis are a student co-op house, Enjolras and Combeferre are pining friends and Grantaire is the newbie

• Still the Same : this is very good writing and very compelling - if you can get over the (imo) plot hole of Enjolras working for the FBI. R was an art thief Enj put away and is briefly helping the FBI out, and Combeferre is Enjolras' husband

• To Kingdom Come : cw: war and PTSD from that, Enjolras and Combeferre are part of a group of refugees that have crossed into a more fantasy land, and Grantaire is a lone traveller from that land that attempts to help - that was a shit summary of this very emotional, wonderfully written fic about war and love in all forms

• Gonna need (a spark to ignite) : I always love a twist on a classic trope, and this is a very fun take on the soulmate AU - Enjolras loses feeling in his soul mark as a child, falls in love with Grantaire and then his soulmate, Combeferre, turns up

Eponine/Cosette

• Pretty Girls Don't Know the Things That I Know : simply stunning writing - perfect example of soft writing about a harsh world

• she knows her way around : Eponine and Cosette bond, ostensibly so Eponine can find out about her for Marius, and their interactions are so playful and realistic, its wonderful

• always find me floating on oceans : Cosette stows away on Eponine's pirate ship - I do always have a soft spot for eposette fics (not just cause I ship it) because they truly characterise Cosette in a really considered and interesting way

• There's No Making Love : I'm putting this under eposette even though there is some significant enjolras/grantaire content, because the Cosette characterisation is so fun and cute

• round and round again : this fic really beautifully translates Cosette's bad childhood and then isolated teenage years, and the impact that would have on her as an adult into a modern AU

• Underwater Thunderheards : this is based off the book The Scorpio Races, and is just a really nice short fic  about longing

• How To Change The World Without Taking Power : Marius has a crush on Cosette and she's tried being polite and subtle in turning him down, so just ends up fake dating Eponine instead

• blood red fruit and poison's kiss : Snow White AU - Cosette as Snow White

• The Winters Cannot Fade Her : Snow White Au 2.0 - Eponine as Snow White - this was written as a pair to the one above which is just so cute to me

• marriage à la mode : Cosette and Eponine run a bridal shop together and it's very cute !

• Temporary Hold : I personally find this a really fun and very unique take on Cosette - with exams coming up she decides she needs to get laid on the reg and so hits up Eponine to act as if they're already long term girlfriends

Combeferre/Courfeyrac

• better than you had it : fake dating but kick it up an emotional notch - Courf and Ferre pretend to still be together after breaking up for a family event

• take flight, come near : nice and cute low fantasy, where Combeferre runs a dragon sanctuary and Courf finds an injured dragon

Rare Pairs

• The Future's Owned by You and Me : cute Enjolras/Feuilly with actual radical politics and real life organising difficulties and wins

• First Dates and Other Dangers : Combeferre and Grantaire agree to go on a blind date and it's awkward until it isn't - just cute !

• after midnight : Combeferre has insomnia and meets Grantaire in various all night fast food chains

• as you are : Bahorel and Jehan getting ready together

• Almost Romantic : Jehan works at a museum, and takes Combeferre on a little tour

• Understudy : Jehan/Combeferre, with Combeferre's insecurities regarding being seen as second best to Enjolras

• Here There Be Dragons : Courf/Enj/Ferre - Courf and Enj are superheroes and Ferre is the doctor that patches them up

• To Let it Occur (Laisser Faire la Nature) : Feuilly has a stupidly long stopover in Paris and meets Enjolras

• rule of three : Courf/Enj/Ferre as spies and loving boyfriends

• Good Rhetoric : snapshots of cute cuddly courf/enj/ferre

• subluxate, dislocate, replace : found family and chronic illness with Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta

• Strike stone, strike home (like lightning) : so this fic took one minor piece of lore about Tolkien's dwarves and made a beautiful j/b/m fic from it

• Almost Inevitable : Bahorel/Feuilly friends-with-benefits

• god only knows (what I'd be without you) : Bahorel/Feuilly with a closeted Feuilly and a beautiful Feuilly and Eponine friendship

[stellartales]

Xiao — Call My Name 04

Chapter 04  — He Stands Alone

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©justgenshin

DO NOT REPOST,  TRANSLATE OR USE ANY PARTS OF MY FICS IN ANY FORMS AND CLAIM THEM AS YOUR OWN.

My fics are kept within Tumblr (@savagetrickster​ @justgenshin​ — I am both.)  and nowhere else but if you do see my works outside, please notify me.

The way to Liyue Harbor was a lot faster on the cargo carriage a regular merchant of Wangshu Inn offered Paimon and her to ride on. 

The herbs Verr Goldett worked wonders; her leg could walk so much better now with barely any pain. Thanks to the lady boss’ care, her last evening in the Inn were spent making his favorite food in Smiley Yanxiao’s kitchen

As Verr Goldet had mentioned — one would only find the Guardian Adeptus if he wants to be found. 

Indeed, on the balcony, that night was the last she had seen of Xiao. Day or night, he was nowhere in sight. Even his usual place, the balcony, stayed empty with no sign of the adeptus. 

However, the missing box of the almond tofu she made that was gone along with her little handwritten note, ‘Eat well! :) Do you happen to know an adeptus named Starsnatcher?’ the following morning told her something else. 

 Liyue Harbor has always been a bustling port city for as long as he could remember. He was , afterall, the one who made sure it flourished. 

The faint aromatic whiff of Jueyun Chilli Chicken coming from Wanmin Restaurant just down the street was instantly recognizable to anyone who had stayed in Liyue Harbor long enough. Laughing children and energetic chatter about anything and everything was accompanied by the distant hollers of the shipcrews down on the port.

Wise golden eyes idled on the scenes around him.

Particularly, on the loaded carts rolling along the streets and the enthusiastic merchants they went past. 

This ever-going vitality was the very blood that kept this city port bright and running, and the Qixing its brain. One he knew Liyue Harbor could depend on when he decided to put his duties as the Geo Archon to a permanent rest and experience the world in the form of a mortal, just like now.

A satisfied sigh quietly slipped past his lips as Zhongli cast his gaze onto the view of the sky beyond the shimmering horizon the location of the tavern he was sheltered under offered, the edges of his lips curling mildly in contentment.

The curt flutters of an opening paper fan turned the thoughtful gaze back to the storyteller, “ We last left off, with ancient Liyue, beset by an ocean demon and a mountain dragon.”  

Elegant, long fingers curled around the steaming teacup on the table before him. 

“ Rex Lapis mustered his adepti,” The wispy steam from the teacup was blown away as it drew near to his lips, ” to restore peace into the land.”

A sip of the hot tea disappeared down his throat with a gulp and as he was lowering the cup to the table, golden eyes swiveled to the left.

The cup was placed back onto the table and he was on his feet, leaving the storyteller to tell his tale.

The crowd on the street of Chihu Rock parted like a flowing river as she maneuvered through the boulevard with eyes glued to the intricate words on the book — Yakshas: The Guardian Adepti . 

Perched on her right shoulder, another pair of eyes were equally engrossed in the content.

The pages in her hands fluttered lightly to the ocean breeze as they broke away from the busy street and onto the wharf overlooking the vast sea beyond the harbor. 

“It’s so tragic…” Paimon’s hands were held to her chubby face.

Brooding sadness brimmed in their eyes as they settled down on the neatly piled wooden planks. The shadow of the huge dockyard in front of them was the perfect shade blocking them from the afternoon sun.

Lumine nodded with a deep sigh, “Oh how they had suffered…” She shook her head.

“—Indeed, and terribly so.” A deep voice interjected.

Both jolted upright with a surprised gasp, lifting their heads sharply to find themselves being gazed upon by a familiar pair of wise eyes.

“Zhongli-sensei??” 

Lumine winced at the volume Paimon released from her shoulder. 

“Do you mind?” A smile played on his lips as Zhongli gestured at the spot beside her.

She shook her head.

His long brown coat fluttered behind him as he moved to sit down.  

“Interesting choice of literature you have there,” The wood beneath them shifted to his weight as he took his spot beside them. 

“Is it true? Is it true?” Paimon flapped her arms eagerly, “Is it true that this tragedy happened a long time ago? The lady at the bookhouse told us this was just a theory spun by historians.”

Zhongli chuckled, lifting a hand to return a greeting from a passing dockyard laborer along with a curt nod.

A serious look swept over his handsome face.

“Time is a powerful force. Stories passed along the passage of time are like the stone spears which I had left behind as the Guyun Stone Forest. I made sure what happened then still lives.“ 

The pensive stare on Zhongli’s face lingered even as he turned back to her, but with a slight frown. 

“Just like those spears which were roughed out by wind erosions, what is left to be seen today is what you get. Fabrication by the imagination of those who weren’t there to know what happened is inevitable, but the truth remains.”

Zhongli raised his gaze to the sky with a quiet look, a hand reaching up to cup his chin as how she would always see him doing when reminiscing something from the past.

“The yakshas, this book told of, after fighting the wrath of the gods for thousands of years, became bound by karma.” 

His deep voice dipped with a sad tinge, “Poisoned by the hateful thoughts of the gods, the yakshas would often descend into indescribable fits of terror, rage or agony…”

His long fingers left his face and curled into a tight fist. “They were a big sacrifice for the greater good. All for the peace you see now.” 

A dark look almost like wistful and remorse settled on Zhongli’s face.

“Then the yakshas…” Lumine mulled over his words for a moment. “The book says that their battles broke their souls and made them turn against each other.”

Sadness fell over her eyes like a grey cloud. “...most are no longer here, are they?”

“Some succumbed to darkness.” Zhongli stared forlornly at the book in her hand. “Even I don’t know where those went. But as of today, one still remains.”

He sighed.

“The age of gods and monsters is over. And so is my first contract with Liyue. This is no longer my Liyue to protect but the common folks.” 

Zhongli shook his head. “The moment I ended my contract with Liyue, so did his, but he still battles till this day.” 

“Hold on a second!” Paimon jumped in, waving her hands frantically, “What do you mean one remains? Aren’t there still two yakshas left?”

“Two?” Zhongli blinked calmly at her. “There has always been one   —  Xiao. I’m sure you know him. He was there in your battle against Osial, wasn’t he?” 

It was his turn to look puzzled.

Lumine frowned. “But what about the Starsnatcher—” Her face fell as realization dawned upon her. She ran a hand down her face with an exasperated sigh. “Oh nevermind, it’s clear now. ”

“Huh?” Paimon scratched her head, “Paimon doesn’t understand! What’s clear now?”

“There’s never been an adeptus with the name Starsnatcher.” Lumine narrowed her eyes at the book in her hand. “He’s a fraud!”

Paimon elicited a gasp. “Xiao needs to know that someone is impersonating the adepti!”

A knowing look from Zhongli was all before the Archon let out a chuckle. “And I trust that you three are capable enough to deal with this...imposter.” 

Long legs uncrossed, Lumine’s eyes were drawn to Zhongli as the man rose to his feet. 

There was an elegance even in the way Zhongli turned around to face them. One that she couldn’t help noticing whenever he was around. 

“You bet we will!” Paimon nodded her head enthusiastically. “Leave it to us, Mr. Zhongli!” Her hands curled into chubby fists as a determined glare scrunched up her cheeks.

Amusement danced in his wise golden eyes as Zhongli responded to Paimon with a light chuckle. “You’ve proven yourselves countless times, my friends, I’m sure this obstacle would pass like a smooth breeze.” 

Zhongli turned as if to go, before glancing over his shoulder. 

“Oh yes, before I go, please do me this favor and give these painkillers to Xiao.” He held out a small green pouch. 

“Painkillers?” Lumine said nearly in a gasp as he placed the pouch in her hand. She looked up at him with a worried frown. “Is Xiao in pain...?”

Then it hit her.

Xiao...with all he had gone through, why wouldn’t he? 

Lumine felt her heart clench with an ache at that thought, remembering Zhongli’s words and what the book had mentioned. 

A bitter feeling sank her heart, at the same time, a strange sense of greediness and yearning tugged her heart — to understand the yaksha behind his piercing eyes, to learn about the pain he hid underneath it all.

“I’m afraid so. Constantly and especially so after his battles.” Zhongli’s face held nothing, but there was gloom in his eyes. “That boy…”

Zhongli sighed heavily. “This may be too much to ask. Xiao will not like this, but please look after him.”

PREVIOUS  |   NEXT (coming soon)

— published on 16.03.2021

[even-after-a-millennia]

the water will not claim me (she already has)

Andromaquynh fic about them and water throughout the years.  Huge thanks for 1k followers!

Read below or on ao3 here.

 I.

Water was hard to come by in the desert, but Andromache couldn’t let the woman she had found die from dehydration again.  Tilting her head back, she gave her the last bit of water from her waterskin.  Andromache watched as the woman swallowed weakly, eyes fluttering.  

Standing, Andromache grabbed one of her arms and hefted her over her shoulders.  She felt the woman’s weak exhalation of breath against her arm.  

And she walked.

Step after step, she moved closer to her destination.  On the way to finding this woman, unable to resist the despair she felt from her every time Andromache dreamt, she had found a small green area a day’s walk away.  With the added weight on her back, it took two mind-numbing, grueling days to return.  

Andromache kept moving, even as she felt the woman waste away on her back.  It would do no good to stop and check on her.  What could she do to help now?

She kept walking.

Finally, they arrived.  Andromache laid the woman gently propped up against a rock, then went to refill her waterskin.  The woman didn’t wake as she returned.

“Hey,” Andromache said, shaking her shoulder lightly.  No response.  Putting some water into her hand, Andromache brought it to the woman’s lips.  They parted, taking in the drink.  

Dark eyes drifted slightly open, unseeing.  Undeterred, Andromache lifted the waterskin to her lips and tilted it, letting the water dribble in.

The woman coughed, eyes coming alive as she realized what was happening.  She lifted an arm to reach for the skin, but Andromache easily batted it away.

“Slowly, slowly,” Andromache encouraged.  

Her voice must have cut through the haze of the woman’s mind, as she looked up at Andromache.

Their eyes met and Andromache felt the loneliness that she had worn as a shroud for centuries fall away as they gazed at each other.

II.

After the battle, they were all covered in filth and sweat.  Lykon was the only one of them that hadn’t suffered a fatal blow at some point and he loudly complained about their stench, laughter in his eyes.  They were all so used to one another that it was nothing to all undress and climb into the gentle river they found together.

“I will look for a meal,” Lykon said, clean long before either of them.

“Thank you, brother,” Andromache replied, taking a moment to just float in the slow movement of the water.

“I expect to see you for food before sundown!  Do not get so distracted you disappoint me!” he called as he walked away.  Andromache may have taken him more seriously if laughter hadn’t rang through his voice.

“Yes, yes, we promise…”

As soon as he was out of sight, Quynh pushed through the water towards Andromache, who turned instinctively to receive an armful of her love.

“Do you think we will actually get back for the meal?” Quynh asked.

“If not,” Andromache said, pushing Quynh’s long, wet hair away from her face, “we are lucky Lykon is more forgiving than we deserve.”

III.

The fact that Cairo’s public baths were divided for females and males was not a deterrence to Andromache’s little band of immortals.  In fact, it was somewhat of a blessing.  Despite loving each other for over three hundred years now, Yusuf and Nicoló still acted as if they had just wed yesterday.  

After they parted at the entrance, Andromache turned to Quynh and asked, “We were never so caught up in each other, were we?”

Quynh smiled, but her eyes were sad.  Andromache knew what she was going to say before the words left her mouth, as she knew who brought that look to her love’s face.

“I think Lykon would disagree with you, trái tim,” she replied.

Andromache scoffed, but moved to hold Quynh’s hand only to have their hands meet halfway.  They looked down, considered their intertwined fingers, then burst out laughing.

“Very well, I am bested.  We are just as bad,” Andromache said, pulling Quynh further into the bath.

IV.

England was dreary.  There was no other word for it.  Clouds hung above them with weak sunlight poking through.  It drizzled most days without end.  And people were dying of false accusations of witchcraft.

Their tiny house in the woods was their only sanctuary from the madness of the world around them.  Every day, they tried to help those they could.  And every night, they retreated back to their small one room with walls and a roof and collapsed together, soaked through and exhausted.

In the middle of the night, Quynh shook Andromache awake.

“What?  What is it?” Andromache demanded, instantly awake and weapon in hand.

“It is finally really raining, ánh nắng của tôi.  It is like a monsoon out there,” Quynh said, looking outside with a soft smile gracing her lips.

Andromache groaned and fell back into bed, dropping her ax back onto the floor.  “Wonderful, I am very glad.  May I sleep now?”

Quynh turned to her and shook her head, pulling her long nightgown off until she was just in her shift.  “We should not waste this weather.”

“What do you mean?” Andromache asked, instantly more awake.

Quynh walked slowly towards her and leaned down to whisper in Andromache’s ear.

“Dance with me.”

She turned and walked out the door.  In a moment, her shift was soaked through but she merely lifted her arms and face to the sky, letting the rain cascade down her.

Then she turned her head to look back at Andromache, sitting stunned in their bed as she stared at the woman who held her heart.

“Are you joining me?” Quynh asked.

Andromache had lived over five thousand years and over the millennia, she had developed a grace in her way of moving that came from battlefields and training.  That said, she scrambled out of bed and her nightgown in her rush to get out to Quynh.

In that moment, the ugliness of their day to day work faded from mind and all Andromache knew was Quynh’s laugh, her cold lips curled into a smile even as they kissed, and her arms around Andromache as they danced in the downpour.

V.

Andy hated coming back to England.  The rain seemed to mock her.

Of course, their assignment had been on the coast.  It was finished now, but still, she had come back to the water.  The vast ocean stretched out in front of her, crashing into the shore and soaking her bare feet.  Her shoes lay forgotten in the sand.

It had been two hundred years since they had given up the search.  More than that since she and Quynh had danced in the rain that night.  The ache was old, but here, in the ocean where somewhere in its depths, Quynh lay trapped and dying… that ache turned into a burn in her chest.

The waves at her feet were the closest she had gotten to touching Quynh in a very long time.

She knelt in the water, uncaring about the ridiculous clothes this century required her to wear.  When she got back to their safe house, she would don trousers and be freer.  For now, she let the layers of fabric soak through around her, weighing her down with each wave.

“Anh nhớ em,” she whispered, and the burn in her chest flared into an inferno.

Joe and Nicky found her there hours later.  The tide had gone out but still, she sat, soaked through and staring blankly out towards the ocean.

+1

As she settled into the jacuzzi bathtub in their latest Air D and D, or whatever Nile called it, Andy let out a deep sigh of relief.  While her muscles had already recovered from the strain of the mission, she still let the warmth soothe away any remnants of pain.  She leaned back and closed her eyes.

The bathroom door opened and closed but she didn’t have to look to know who was there.

There was a rustle of fabric and that, that made Andy turn to watch as Quynh took off her dirtied outfit.  Some things never grew old, no matter how much time had passed.

“Baths have truly come a long way in the time I was gone,” Quynh said, settling into the v between Andy’s legs.  The water splashed a bit as she moved, but as she settled, so did the small waves.

“The world is definitely better for it,” Andy agreed, dropping a kiss on her love’s bare shoulder.

It took them a long time to get here, Quynh’s back to Andy’s front, submerged in warm, scented water in the 21st century.

Andy may always resent the centuries taken from them and the pain they had both gone through to get to this moment.  But now, her arms around her heart long gone from her, she let those feelings fade away in the water and pulled her closer.

They soaked together, unspeaking, as calm as the water around them.

Translations thanks to @hottopicmonk on tumblr: trái tim - heart

ánh nắng của tôi - my sunshine

anh nhớ em - I miss you

[archaeopter-ace]

Fic Writer Tag Gam

Tagged by @eurazba​ and @im-the-king-of-the-ocean​, thanks!

Fandoms: (I’m going to name all the ones that were ever Major Fandoms to me, past and present. As in, have I sought out at least one 40k+ fanfic for it? Usually these sorts of tag games will ask for my top ten or something, and I never get to lay them all out. Or at least as many as I can remember. Bolded my current interests)

Danny Phantom, Detective Conan, Doctor Who, Smallville, BBC Merlin, Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Lois & Clark: the New Adventures of Superman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer*, Good Omens, White Collar, The Dresden Files, Stargate SG-1, Rurouni Kenshin, Spider-Man, MCU, Marvel 616, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Supernatural, Young Justice, Blue Exorcist, Star Wars, Avatar the Last Airbender, Rise of the Guardians, The Flash, Welcome to Night Vale, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Gravity Falls, Lucifer, Detroit: Become Human, Sherlock, Tales of Arcadia

* Once upon a time I read a lot of Buffy crossovers, and then moved on to straight Buffy fics, without ever having seen any of the show. I did eventually see some episodes, but the vast bulk of my knowledge comes purely from fanfic

Where you post: Sometimes here on tumblr, though I don’t think I have it all unified under one tag, since my-writing is also used for meta talking about my writing...

AO3 is the best place to find the most up-to-date versions of my stuff. It’s a pain to correct typos on ffnet so I generally don’t, though there’s a couple of older fics there that I haven’t crossposted because they are incomplete.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: Internal Affairs with 7593 hits. It is the most-bookmarked Barry Allen & David Singh fic on AO3, whoot! It’s niche, but it’s a good niche

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Hard to say between Autoeponym and Metamorphosis. They’re both part of the same AU, and I’m just really excited about it :D

Fic you were nervous to post: Relative Truth. It was the first work I ever posted that was meant to be taken seriously (as opposed to cracky 100 word crossover drabbles), and it was my first plotty, multichaptered fic. Who knows, some day I might even finish it! ;P It’s only been eight years...

How you choose your titles: If the show has a particular pattern of naming, I try to match that if I can. So since White Collar has double-meaning titles, I went with Relative Truth, playing on the fact that truths are revealed about Neal’s family tree. 

Otherwise, I gravitate towards one-word titles (perhaps a result of the fact that I first started really paying attention to episode titles with Smallville). I further have a fondness for somewhat obscure and/or sciency terms, so Keraunopathy, Inertia, Philae, Autoeponym, Metamorphosis - but in the case of chapter titles in a one-shot collection, it might just be the topic or central thing that inspired it (Ice Cream, Chickenpox, Awake, Slumber, Cockroaches). 

More rarely, I’ll use a longer phrase or pull from an idiom - Cisco Answers the Phone, Henry Allen Has Never Been Rick-Rolled, The Girl in the Mirror, Where There’s a Will.

Do you outline: Yes, to varying degrees. Sometimes I treat it like writing an essay and just lay out my ‘topic sentences’ in order, so I know what happens in each paragraph, and then I have a place to ‘file’ whatever bits of writing I do. Sometimes for something more plotty I’ll have it organized more like a typical outline with different levels, although what usually ends up happening is I’ll start and stop several different outline attempts, and then stitch together what bits I can into a Frankenstein outline that may or may not actually be followed.

Right now, for Don’t Listen to Kafka, I’m attempting my most ambitious, color-coded storyboard to date

Complete: Inertia, my Flash one-shot collection, has finally been marked complete since the odds are quite low that I’ll ever return to that fandom, but the whims of my attentions have surprised me before, so who’s to say. Internal Affairs, the Singh spin-off of that one, has likewise been marked completed. The Haunting of Harrison Wells was successfully written on a deadline, for an event.

More recently, The Girl in the Mirror, Autoeponym, Metamorphosis, Mohs Scale, and I Was a Teenage Troll are call complete, though all but the first are part of in-progress series, so...

In progress: The aforementioned Relative Truth, though at some point I should probably just admit it’s a dead!fic. It’s just really hard to let go completely. 

As-yet-untitled next work in Don’t Listen to Kafka. While Claire might know about trolls, there’s still a gaping baby-brother-shaped hole in her knowledge. Somebody should do something about that...

The bit-after-the-next-bit-which-might-be-its-own-bit-or-might-be-a-separate-fic: Jim’s transformation continues! Barbara knows krav maga! Plans are made! Haemerythrin, the oxygen-binding pigment of marine worms, becomes a relevant analogy!

Some more one-shots in I Was A Teenage Troll AU, because I have a lot of backstory that I haven’t used yet. 

Coming soon/not yet started:

As long was we understand ‘soon’ to be highly subjective and subject to change:

A Gravity Falls x Trollhunters crossover. Man, I love reading crossovers but I haven’t written that many...

The Garage. Told from a Changeling’s POV, who was able to keep working as a mechanic at his garage even after he lost his human form when the Familiars were rescued (because he’d already been outed as a troll years before). The story begins when Jim shows up at the garage with a message for Craig Dunlin.

Hey Brother. What I call the Vermont Half-Brother AU. Written entirely in epistolary form, because I’ve never used a groupchatting app in my life and I don’t think I could write a chatfic between two people convincingly. On the other hand, it’s hard to justify writing letters back and forth when both of them have cell phones...

Do you accept prompts: I like the idea of prompts but I know for a fact that I would not be able to fill them. I’m not a very prolific writer at the best of times, imagining I could fill a prompt in any sort of timely manner is sheer fantasy.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Don’t Listen to Kafka. My outline is almost solid enough that I feel like I have enough of a framework to start working on details, and I love working on details.

I tag:

 @rockymountainvixen​ @luvtheheaven​ @kalajorn​

[saferincages]

please forgive this because it’s a bit of a self-indulgent post/diary entry for myself more than anything, to stand as memories I want to save from the holidays before too much more time has passed. last year was a difficult one to get through in certain respects, and my mom and I were both so run-down by the end of December that it was hard to have the clarity and simple joy we usually try to find through it, but there are many things for which I still am tremendously grateful.

the fact that our happy baby is with us, and has been her bright, fluffy self despite everything she endured all year, is of course the biggest one. she’s the greatest gift, and knowing people cared and wanted to help was an amazing source of strength, too.

the fact that I have such luminous, thoughtful, truly amazing people who share their friendship so selflessly. I save cards every year because they make me happy! also I LOVE getting handmade things! the very pretty paper angel ornament (which I intentionally hung right under Cinderella! ♥) came from @featheredgrace​, the adorable crochet owl (which was actually for my mom, and it made us both smile! as did my little crochet faerie girls and the Winter Flower Fairies book) came from @xxsparksxx​, the fabulous embroidery of my alter-ego identity came from @mithrilstarlight​. knowing that time and creative energy goes into things makes them all the more special and dear, and each one of you filled my heart this year. 😊🦇💗

my beloved @sansasnark​ sent me the Heart of the Ocean, which is just SO sparkly and magical and the coolest? my inner childhood self screamed in excitement because I’ve always wanted one.

the final three Snow White treasures came from other people I love very, very much (but I want to keep their privacy and not name them publicly?), and are unbelievably extravagant and gorgeous, and I might have cried when I opened each one of them. they’ve all found places of honor in my collection (the Couture figurine is an even deeper, lovelier red than the photo shows, and she has the sweetest face. the Premiere Collection doll I actually fancied up a little more when I took her out of the box - I gave her that necklace and I also gave her a tiara - and I turned her stole so that the sequins face out and the fur is on the inside instead, because...they made it twinkly, I want to see it! she is spectacularly beautiful in person). I love that they’re very unique, having Snow Whites in varying gowns/costumes is one of my favorite things.

I know I’ve talked about this before, but being mostly homebound and spending the majority of my time in my room, it would be easy to feel much more cut off than I do, but it’s my own little whimsical grotto filled with mementos of happiness and wonder and reminders of people who I cherish, and the existence of Tumblr/the internet provides the outlet to friendship and kindness and connection that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to have, and that’s such a miracle to me. the world is so vast and we may never have crossed paths in any other way, but how lucky I am to have found such marvelous people here.

[thisgarbagepicker]

“Real, Not True” - Reylo Weekly Challenge

My contribution to the sixth @two-halves-of-reylo Tumblr weekly challenge, “Fear” theme. 

“Real, Not True” (AO3)

Words: 2,325

Rating: T

Summary:  At night, Kylo's mind returns to a day in his youth when Luke attempted to lead him in a meditation technique focusing on the nature of fear. When mere memory turns into nightmare, he finds rescue where he isn't expecting it. Afterward, Rey tries to make sense of the realities and cruelties of the unguarded sleeping mind.

“Ben. Are you listening?”

“Wha—yeaaa . . .” Ben tears his eyes away from the water, where he’s been watching a pod of porpoises clip through the waves. “Uh. No.”

Luke is unamused. Contrite, Ben amends, “Sorry. What?”

“I asked if you’re ready to begin.”

Despite his pointed stare a moment ago, he doesn’t sound terribly annoyed, and his eyes have softened a little. It’s hard to believe, but Luke was fifteen once, too. His mind must have drifted when it wasn't supposed to back then, the way Ben’s does. Given the distant expression he sometimes catches on his uncle’s face, it likely still does.

This place is mostly all water, and the slim, green, crescent-shaped island they’ve camped on is the only one in view over the vast expanse of ocean—though there are supposedly others, with actual people living on them. It’s been years since he’s seen Chandrila, with its fragrant forests and staggering mountain ranges. It had oceans, too, but nothing like this. Ben still thinks Lew’el must be a weird place to live by comparison. Its flatness is . . . soothing, he supposes, but not very interesting. The porpoises were the first break in the monotony of the horizon he’s seen all morning.

“I am. Ready to begin.” Ben is careful to echo the words precisely, to indicate that he’s really, definitely listening now.

He sits, figuring that anticipation of Luke’s instructions will further redeem him for his inattention. He knows they’re doing some sort of meditation here, probably linked with the local belief system. The native population adheres to something called the Tide, which Luke has explained is essentially the Force by another name. He has been here before. There are stories; Ben’s heard them. But when he asked Luke about them, it was only to be told that stories exaggerate the truth. That Ben shouldn’t be so quick to believe everything he hears.

And Ben isn’t. It’s just that by now, he also isn’t sure he’s ever going to reach a point where he is fully able to separate the legend that is his uncle from the man. It’s hard to know what is exaggeration when he barely knows what the truth is to begin with. Maybe it doesn’t matter. He scans the shoreline before him, a stretch of smooth pinkish pebbles that look nice but aren’t very comfortable for sitting.

“Good.” Luke joins Ben on the ground and makes a face that suggests he, too, is reconsidering their choice of location. They observe the water in silence, and Luke tosses one of the stones out onto the still surface, watching it skip along and finally sink before he says, “You can feel them out there, can’t you?”

It takes a moment, but Ben realizes he means the porpoises.

“In a way, yeah, I guess,” he says simply. He resists the urge to get too chatty about it. He likes his uncle, most of the time, and under different circumstances he would tell him more. How he can feel them, in the Force, if he reaches. The porpoises are happy in a very pure, uncomplicated way. United in their pod, having fun after a hunt. (Must be nice. Ben is still half-asleep and wants breakfast.) But he senses that Luke is in Master Skywalker mode right now, so that means it’s down to business.

“We’re going to try something different today.”

Ben stifles a yawn. “Okay.”

“Hey, focus,” Luke reminds him with a nudge. “We’re turning our reach inward rather than out. This practice will bring us closer to what we fear. Fear has its place, but we can’t let ourselves be ruled by it, either. So, we identify it, sit with it, and then let the Tide—the Force—take it into its ebb and flow. Restore its proper order.”

Ben feels a squirm in his stomach. Closer to what we fear. His eyes are closed and he forces himself not to open them and look at Luke. Does he know that Ben couldn’t sleep the last few nights? Does he know why? The timing of this seems awfully convenient. Ben takes a chance. “What do you fear?”

“That’s not how this works,” Luke says, mildly chastising. If Ben hopes to get any kind of answer he actually wants, he’ll have to wait until later. “Are you ready?”

He hesitates, but it won’t change anything. “Yes.”

He feels like he’s being watched. Not by the man sitting beside him. From afar. He ignores that, as he long ago learned to do. He turns inward, as Luke instructed.

What does Ben fear? Never being a pilot—sometimes. Sleep—often. Never seeing home again—more often. That his parents think there is something wrong with him—nearly all the time. That what they think is true—always.

It is true.

There it is. The fear. His first instinct is to resist it, fight it off, bury it back down. He knows it’s the right one because it bites back the hardest. Ben feels simmering anger at the mere thought, and he’d rather fight. He forgets what he was told to do: identify it, sit with it, let it be taken. Fuck that. His pulse is quickening and he begins to feel hot.

“No,” he seethes.

“Focus, Ben . . .” Luke’s voice sounds far away, and there’s something new now that Ben picks up on despite his agitation. Another fear. But it isn’t his. It’s Luke’s. Curious, he probes at that, and is dismayed by what he finds. Luke’s fear—it’s of him. Around them, the pebbles begin to quiver.

“You’re unbalanced.” That isn’t Luke at all. Another voice. Scornful, not warning.

He opens his eyes. The ocean is churning. The pebbles on the beach are shaking and leaping and have turned red. Further down the shoreline, large grayish lumps writhe in the shallows—the porpoises have beached themselves. Above, wind-trusters and smaller birds are already circling, sensing an imminent meal. He doesn’t want to look, but his eyes scan left until his head has no choice but to follow suit. Luke is gone. A gaunt, pale, disfigured man hunches beside him now, swathed in a thin gold robe. He’s revolting, but despite this, Ben can only stare.

“You’re unbalanced,” the man repeats. He speaks slowly, and his sunken cheek trembles with each syllable. “And you’re afraid. And you’re alone. A monster, a monster, a monster . . .”

The words echo over and over again, the man’s voice distorting until it’s not only one voice but many. Voices from Ben’s past and, he senses, from his future. Some he recognizes, others he doesn’t. Horrified, he crabwalks backward over skittering crimson pebbles as everything roars around him. It’s all just noise now. He can’t distinguish the words, but he knows what they’re saying. The vibration of it is shattering him from the inside out. The beach warps and becomes impossibly long.

“Ben!”

One clear word in all the din. The only voice he wants to hear. He bumps roughly against something behind him and cranes his neck to look. It’s her. The girl. She’s standing there above him. He’s seen her in dreams, but he never knows who she is except . . . he does now. He knows her name. He knows her. He loves her.

“Rey?”

“Ben, listen. Wake up.” She crouches in front of him and grabs his arm, staring urgently into his face. “You’re dreaming.”

Bewildered, Ben tries to argue. “How do you kn—”

He jolts and his eyes fly open. Her face is there, still so close, hovering above his. This place is warm and quiet, and their bodies are pressed together, and there isn’t much space. A bunk. Her bunk. It’s dark. Her fingers are digging so hard into his arm that it’s probably going to leave a mark.

“—know?” His mouth finishes what he was saying in the dream before he can put a thought together to stop it.

“No?” Rey says. The concern in her face eases, and she looks almost mystified.

“No. I mean . . . not ‘no’ . . .” He winces and turns his face from hers, then exhales sharply like he’s dispelling whatever might be left of the dream. “Can you let go of my arm please? That sort of hurts.”

“Oh. Oh, kriff. Yeah.”

She relinquishes her grip and settles down beside him, fidgeting with the blanket. He realizes, or remembers, that both of them are naked. He’s still half in a fog, but details are coming back. He’d been unable to sleep. He walked down to Rey’s room, because she’s one of the few people here who has her own. They talked a while. They did what they’ve been doing in her bunk at night for the last week or so when he can get there without being noticed. They talked more afterward, until they fell asleep. And then . . . that.

“I shouldn’t still be here,” he murmurs. He doesn’t move to go.

Rey shrugs. “We went over this hours ago. Keep quiet and no one will know. Not if you wait ‘til people’ve started going on with their morning stuff. Just wait for the hall to be empty and fall in with it.”

He does remember that discussion now. He also remembers not being entirely convinced of the soundness of the plan—physically speaking, he isn’t exactly inconspicuous. But his lack of desire to leave won out, and after more pillow talk he’d been as good as unconscious. Besides, they’re both deluding themselves if they think people haven’t noticed, or won't soon.

“I didn’t yell or anything, did I?”

“No. I don’t think so. I was sleeping.” She lays an arm over him and circles her fingertips along his shoulder. “It was really weird, though. Something got crossed again. I ended up in your head. I’m sorry.”

“Wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. And it wasn’t your fault last time. But it’s not like either of us invites the other to . . . dream with them. We really ought to figure out a way to handle this when it happens, because it doesn’t seem like it’s about to stop.” He wonders if she wants it to stop, and if he does. He’s not sure. Meanwhile, Rey seems to have accepted that they won’t get it settled tonight, so she changes tacks. “You all right?”

“Yeah. That was relatively tame,” he says after brief deliberation. It still sounds on the verge of self-pity, which he didn’t want, but it’s the truth. There was history there, but it was definitely a nightmare and he’s had much worse, to say nothing of waking life.

Rey nods as her hand wanders from his shoulder to stroke his cheek, and he shifts to his side to face her. He doesn’t know if he needs it, the way her touch is so instantly, deeply soothing, but he craves it badly enough that it must be the same thing in the end.

“Was all of it only a dream? Some of it felt realer. Like a memory. You were so young.” They both know how a dream can be more than a dream. She wants to parse this, even if he can sense her apprehension at prying further into something that wasn’t strictly hers.

“Parts were. ‘Realer.’ The beginning was more memory.” Some of that was no doubt changed by time and experience, he knows, but there had been no distinction in the dream. As for the end, it was utter nonsense. Awful, but nonsense just the same. Rey waits expectantly for him to continue. He thought he wouldn’t want to talk about it, but he finds he doesn’t mind explaining further. “The stuff with . . . Luke, and that island. On Lew’el. The Tide, and the meditation, too. The rest was just my brain throwing things together where they didn’t belong.”

Rey is reflecting on this, and her expression is one of understanding rather than pity. Not that he’d expect it of her. She’s getting to know the inside of his head too well. That would have terrified him once, but it doesn’t anymore. He wants to be known by her. It goes both ways. He kisses the flurry of freckles on her shoulder, and the two-pronged scar a little lower down her arm. He doesn’t stop when she finally speaks, but he’s listening.

“‘Didn’t belong’ is an understatement. Some of that may have been real, but . . . none of it was true. The mind can be cruel enough when we’re awake. It’s worse when we sleep, sometimes.” She stops and pokes him in the ribs. “Hey, are you listening?”

“Yes.” He pauses what he’s doing and pillows his head on her chest instead. “You’ve been reading too many of those old texts. Continue, Master Rey.”

“Very funny. Believe it or not, I’ve had a lot of time to think about these things.” She runs her hands through his hair and tugs a little out of pique, but then smooths it back more gently and lets her fingers curl at the base of his skull. “I’m trying to make you feel better.”

“I do,” he says. “I woke up, you were there, I felt better. You don’t have to try.”

There’s a hint of a smile in her voice. “Then you understand why I want you to stay right here. You’re not the only one of us who feels better waking up to the other.”

“Good.”

The sound of Rey’s heartbeat is sending him off faster than he expected, and when she winds her arms around him he knows he isn’t going anywhere until morning. It doesn’t come naturally to him to not be fighting something. This is it, though. One of the rare moments when he doesn’t feel compelled to do so. He isn’t sure he believes in a time when the nights will be easier for them both. If such a time does exist, he hopes it comes soon. If it proves too much to hope for, at least there will still be this.

[a-rat-and-a-blob]

Drabble Arch: The Second Plague Rat - Safe in Our Worlds

(This is the 3rd drabble if you want to read the other drabbles connected with this go to the wattpad page - link)

(Also.. tumblr is being sucky right now with its text so.. read it below. Everything’s clear once you click below. I checked.)

"It wasn't possible.." I keep saying in my sleep. I see myself in the sewers, being able to see through the walls. I watch the insides of the lair as if a movie and try to piece together the hints I saw. In the scene, I investigate the cracks, the arrows, and even the blood from afar, yet I can't help but repeat the words "it just couldn't happen.." I play through the scene what seemed like the millionth time, changing details in attempt to increase plausibility. Which cracks were formed by who.. when exactly did he go.. I rewind and rewind and rewind. I imagine the squeaks of the rat, Twitch initial panic, and the two bleeding out together as they chased each other. Squeaks and cackles and screams.. I couldn't take it anymore. I turn away from the scene of the crime and start marching towards the surface.

               "It.. probably died as it ran away.." I told myself. "Still came from Twitch. I need a real dream.." As I march onward, I see a bright light in the distance, with its warm glow flowing inside me. It feels like home as I sigh the fresh air that was so rare in the sewers. I run towards it, excited to see what will be behind it, but as I went through the hole, everything seemed small. I look up, and I see its source. A lamp above a massive lab table that towers above me. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't the homely nature I seek. I turn back, but the hole behind me wasn't there anymore. All that was left is a concrete wall where no one can hear your screams or your cries.

               There the footsteps follow. I shook and shiver at the floors rumble. I look around to find a hiding spot, but I realize there weren't any. They already took them out long ago just in case something like this happened. I quickly run to the corners and feel the wall for cracks. Please open up. Please take me out!

               Step. Step. Step. I couldn't take it anymore. I rub for everything, but it was all smooth. The door creaks open. The shadow emerges from the door and sees me. "Time to test for stability," he says apathetically. He quickly turns his head to me with his red eyes. He walks over to me, his footsteps making me jump as they get louder and louder. I try to run, but my small legs couldn't get me out.

               "There you are.." he said as he comes closer and closer. I couldn't go anywhere. I begin to cry out. Cry loudly for someone. Anyone. I begin to curl up in a defensive ball. "Help please!" I sob. "Help Please!"

               "Don't  worry.." he begin to mutter. His tone changed this time. "I'm here to help you.."

               I look up in reaction. I see a hunched body with large ears. The shadow of a hand came for me before I could even mutter out his name.

               I jolt up. I look around and hear the familiar creaking of the green lantern above the cauldron. The liquid is still inside except colder. "Twitch?" I ask before looking at the other bed to see he isn't there. "TWITCH!?" I ask loudly. I stand up and run outside of the lair to find him. I simply headed straight and call his name with my voice echoing in the tunnels, bringing my plea. "Twitch you th-" I stop as I begin to feel something beneath my foot. It's hard like bone with dirty coarse fur.. I look down and see a shadow of Twitch sprawling on the floor with his arms and legs all spread out, now awake from his slumber. He just looks up at me. "Ow.. Goopy One that hurt.." Twitch grumble, too tired to be angry.

               "I.. I'm sorry about that pal, but I'm more concerned about what you're doing here."

               "I.. I can't sleep.. You can't blame me Goopy One. My creation.. my subject is out there.."

               "Well.. I think your safety should be more important," I respond as I carry Twitch up to my shoulders.

               "But.. I must! It.. it ran away from me.." the rat said, rather dejectedly.

               I pat his back for comfort. "Hey.. It's okay, but you should be in a better state of mind before you try something out." Hopefully that state of mind could help clear his head. "I don't want you wandering around the sewers in your sleep, pal. I was worried." I thought for a second and came up with an idea. "Hey. I know a place for you to relax a bit. I always go here."

               "Is it your stupid surface.."

               "Well.. no. It's actually in your sewers. I think you'll like it. I know I do." I begin to carry him across the tunnels, knowing my way through the labyrinth. I could still here the rat's muttering to his delusions as I went, how he concocted strategies of where the rat would be. It concerned me on how he obsesses over these unhealthy thoughts. "Hey.. Twitch," I blurt out. I need to find a way to distract him. "I.. missed storytime with Twitch! Last night. We didn't get to it because of all of what happened. Wanna tell me one now?"

               "Hm? Bah! Why do you want to hear a story when something's more important!" he replies. "I'm telling you he's out there, and you want to goof around with fiction!?"

               I bit my lip. "Uh.. no. I don't. I just.. wanted to hear one, y'know?"

               "Hmph! Get your priorities straight.. " We walk in silence for a few seconds only with Twitch's muttering and the rushing of sludge and sewage. I begin to drone out at this calming sense, but the whispers behind me ground me to reality, like ghosts trying to bring me back.

               "Hey.." I said abruptly. The whispers behind me stop.

               "What is it?" Twitch ask.

               "Um.. that rat.. he entered the hole right?"

               "Yes.. what of it?"

               "And you didn't see him after that?"

               "Why no.. but I know he's out there. He has to be! Hehe.. He's tough. Plague rats are tough! He's out there."

               I bit my lip again. "Uh... what about the possibility that.. he isn't?" I ask reluctantly.

               There was nothing but moments of silence. I resist the urge to freeze in my tracks out of guilt.

               "What do you mean?" he growls.

               But I didn't answer; I see the light at the very end of the dark tunnels of the sewer.  It's radiance enriching my skin as I walk towards it. "Hey. We're here!" I shout. "Oh.. you need this pal."

               I look out to the light to see the view of an ocean from the eastern side of Zaun. The stars glittered in the purple night before the orange horizon begin to overtake them. I hear the ocean waves crashing and the fresh breeze carrying the salt of the waters below me.  I breath it in, releasing a sigh of relief. There was nothing but the vast blue seas. No Zaun. No delusions. No violence. Just.. peace.

               "Isn't this great?" I said. "Just nothing but the ocean and the stars... The whole world ahead of us. The sewers get cramped for a while doesn't it?"

               Twitch is merely confused. "..how is this supposed to help. Giving me tainted air!"

               "It's.. it's not tainted.." I mumble. "Here. Just take a few breaths. Should help ya. Clear some thoughts and all. You just seem on edge.."

               "Well I need to be on edge, Goopy One! he could be anywhere! ANYWHERE!"

               "And that's what I'm worried about. Just.. take a deep breath and relax.."

               "NO!" Twitch shouts. "Unhand me at once in this entrapment! I know he's there! And if you think some tainted air will 'clear that up'..." The rat wrestled his hand to his back. "THEN YOU'RE WRONG!" Twitch slam the cask to my neck and my grip on him wavers in response to the poison. He jumps away, running back to his kingdom of the sewers, to his own world. "Twitch?" I shout as I run towards him to the twisting tunnels. I run and run, losing track of where I was, only listening to the footsteps of the plague rat. I run blindly and blindly until I can finally see what seems to be his shadow.

               "There you are.. You shouldn't run like that, Twitch!" I shout. "I'm.. I'm just trying to help, and I just wanted to help you! I.." Upon closer inspection, the shadow was missing some details. Like the brace on Twitch's shoulder. The casks on Twitch's back. The coat. I step forward curiously, only to see the it pulse green and grow in size slightly. The veins seem to bulge out fiercely and the fur rose. I step back, hearing his scream out, but only slightly to hide his pain from his captor. I could hear his heavy breathing as he collapses on the floor.

               "Hey.. I'm here to help you," I said gently in pitch darkness, with only our shadows visible. I stretch my arms slowly towards him, but he keeps moving backwards. Once I felt his fur, he attacked.

[camachameleon]

Cam’s Voltron Fic Rec 2/∞

VLD Fic Recs:  [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] Here’s a Fic Masterlist for my other fandoms. ( ** =  favorites )

  **Beacon by glitteringconstellations (also on tumblr)

Word count:  43,288 (10/?)

Summary:  An emergency mission to answer a distress call wasn’t unusual. The urgency in Allura’s voice wasn’t necessarily unusual, either—she was very much of the mind that Voltron was obligated to answer every single distress call brought to their attention. Being the defender of the known universe came with a certain number of responsibilities, after all.

But seeing the pinched, pale look on both Allura and Coran’s faces when they converged on the bridge was unusual. "The universe is vast even in terms of those planets still yet beyond the grips of the Galra. But…. the distress call came from the Terra Firma Quadrant.”

Earth.

Comments:  Back to Earth AU. Reunion fic. This one occasionally flips pov to some characters on Earth so we get to see their reactions to the gang’s initial disappearance and then the realization that they are not alone in the universe. This fic is so different from the other Back To Earth ones I've read, all the little details make it feel so real. A song that I feel sets the mood for this fic is Home and It Goes On.

  don't go (i can’t follow) by My_King_And_Your_Lionheart

Word count:  10,670 (5/5)

Summary:  Keith’s shirt falls to the floor and Shiro gets so distracted by the ink on his skin that when he finally realizes Keith was trying to flip him, he’s already on his back. With the mismatched ‘Never tell me the odds’ pressed against his throat, Shiro thinks he could fall in love like this.

Comments:  Part 1 of the series blame it on the stardust which is partway through its second installment just pretending to know. This is a Sheith fic featuring tattooed!Keith. Also, my favorite part is the OG GARRISON TRIO AKA Matt/Shiro/Keith bonding bc they are my favorite friendship group ugh. Also Keith’s adoptive parents are super awesome like seriously I love them so much. This one ends with the start of season one basically, and Part 2 kinda picks up from there.

  i want your heaven and your oceans too by mothpoem

Word count:  11,622 (1/1)

Summary:  “Not—not that you’d be my rebound! I mean, you’d be helping me take my mind off of this guy, but to be a rebound, I’d have to have dated him first, I think, and he doesn’t even know I like him, so. You wouldn’t be a rebound. At worst, we become badass partners-in-crime with a grudging respect for each other, at best, we’re soulmates for life and this is fate trying to help us find happiness. So. Um.” Lance swallows and looks up at the Blade of Marmora soldier through his lashes. “What say you?”

They look down at their hands for a moment, fingers twisting together in deep thought. Then they’re pulling their gloves off, revealing pale, half-bruised knuckles of the human variation, and their mask is dissolving, giving way to big blue-purple eyes and an achingly familiar jet-black cowlick. “Who,” says Keith Kogane, in that low-pitched rumble that makes Lance’s stomach roil in the good way—holy fuck—“is this guy you’re trying to get over?”

Comments:  Lots of Lance whump. And obviously this is Klance endgame. I just love how far this goes before Lance finds out its not just some random bom guy. Lance is such a sassy guy when he’s in danger and it really comes out in this fic. Add in a heaping tablespoon of protective Keith and you’ve got yourself the perfect post-s4 voltron fanfic right here.

  Burn Break Crash by NaryCanary

Word count:  97,758 (17/?)

Summary:  When Katie "Pidge" Holt arranged a special road trip with her boyfriend that doesn't go according to plan, she somehow throws herself in an unexpected predicament and now must take responsibility for it. What is it she must do? Take Keith Kogane - an attractive, mysterious, arrogant guy from school - on the road with her across the country.

Growing up, Pidge was always taught to look both ways before crossing the street to avoid accidents. Nobody ever told her what to do if her life happens to go up in flames.

Comments:  Slowburn Kidge roadtrip AU. Background Shallura. This is a college AU that feels very raw to me idk. Like its not just all fluff and comedy, its also angst and comfort and thrilling in all the ways. The way their conversations flow and relationship develops is so natural and un-forced. This fic really made me like Pidge a lot more after reading. Even if you don’t ship it romantically, it really makes you appreciate the fiery, explosive bond between them. Platonic Kidge is also something I started exploring because of how much I loved the interaction with these two.

  **Entangled by Purpleneutrino (mackerelmademedoit)

Word count:  101,859 (12/12)

Summary:  When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a useful asset in team Voltron's fight against the Galra Empire. Now if he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a chance at defeating Zarkon.

Needless to say, when he'd wished for a 'bonding moment' with Lance, this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind.

Comments:  Klance with eventual mature content. Whump for both parties in this fic, and lots of angst. Also super-protective-over-Keith Shiro, which is my fav. A warning that this is very slow burn. I mean look at that word count. It’s amazing tho bc we get so much of this goodness. I love Stuck-Together and Forced Co-Dependency Tropes and this satisfies both. These two are forced to show so much vulnerability to each other and get so much closer as a result.

  **Keith’s ‘Physical Contact’ Initiation Program by alisayamin (sh_04e)

Word count:  26,522 (6/6)

Summary:  Keith didn’t move and neither did Pidge. It was a little awkward until Keith finally said, “Maybe we could officially officiate this..?”

“What do you mean?”

“Fist me.”

Pidge recoiled and sputtered, “Keith, what the f-” She was cut off by Shiro’s bellowing laughter from the observatory deck.

With his straight face unchanged, Keith lowered his left hand with the stopwatch and lifted his right hand, fisted.

Pidge actually sighed with so much relief, “OH. You mean fistbump! Right.” She slapped her forehead to remove the very very wrong image her imagination drew for her, “Holy shit, Keith, we need to work on that but yeah sure, I’d be honoured to officiate your physical contact program whatever.”

Or

That one time Coran realized Keith was too distant and decided to make him undergo the 'Physical Contact' Initiation Program which then led to --> 5 times the paladins realized Keith was an actual cat.

Comments:  I. LOVE. THIS. STORY. ugh. Keith bonding with everyone through hugs and cuddles, man. That is all that needs to be said. Oh and also Keith whump plus lots of comfort. Also Matt&Keith bros and Pidge&Keith bros is life. And super-protective-over-Keith Shiro. LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER WANT ALL IN ONE GLORIOUS FIC. But seriously in this one, Keith unashamedly knows he wants physical affection, he just struggles with how to ask for it.

  **Antidote by salineshots

Word count:  92,440 (11/?)

Summary:  Based very loosely off of @eyugho’s lovebug AU, which I love more than anything?? Thanks to them for starting this wonderful AU!

Keith's bitten by a lovebug, but this one doesn't make him all cuddly. Instead, every moment he spends away from Lance is physically painful for him, and every moment he spends touching him is really, really nice. That's frustrating enough already without Keith having to hide his massive crush.

Lance just wants to help, but he knows that Keith doesn't like to be touched. Also hiding a massive crush, because these two are horrible at communication.

Comments:  Slowburn Klance with so much Keith whump and comforting and supportive Lance. I really like this version of the Lovebug AU, especially bc it basically doubles as one of those Stuck-Together Tropes, and also they become super co-dependent on each other which is also nice because we get to see all their vulnerabilities and insecurities forced into the spotlight.

  Muzzled by Emls479

Word count:  5,181 (1/1)

Summary:  The blade of Marmora aren't the only ones with time altering technology. Days on the outside can be months within. Keith finds this out a little too late.

Comments:  This is more than a little dark and also I cried so watch out if you don't like hardcore whump on our boy keef who really needs more hugs.

  Yes, Sir by mikkimouse

Word count:  8,302 (1/1)

Summary:  “Are you all ready to get started?”

“Yes, sir!” twenty voices answered in unison.

Shiro’s stomach flipped at the words. Oh, no.

The soul mark on his right wrist burned, confirmation that his soulmate was one of the twenty people who’d just uttered the phrase.

Oh, shit.

Comments:  All 3 Works in this series are so great. Not just bc its a Sheith Soulmate AU, but also bc its just the perfect mix of funny, angsty and fluffy.

  VLD Fic Recs:  [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] Here’s a Fic Masterlist for my other fandoms.

[its2017andimstillsetrash]

Where I'll Always Love You- SoMa Peter Pan AU

Wow, I wrote this last year and it's still one or my favorite pieces that I've written. Originally I posted it on wattpad but I just needed to bring it back. Enjoy Tumblr. ~Z . . . "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." -Peter Pan The young ashen blonde woke to hear the yelling. Her father had drunk too much yet again, and her mother had cared too much about him yet again. She knew her father drank to relieve himself of stress and she knew her mother cared because she 'loved' him. Sometimes Maka switches between their sides, agreeing that her father needs to relax, or that her mother simply loved and cared for him like any wife should, though it was rigorous to find a gray area of agreement in their redundant black and white arguments. Worst of all, neither of them would agree to being erroneous over the littlest of things that held no relevance to Maka. Such as: money, work, their fake love, and family that hated each other. She often wished to escape it all, growing in a home with parents that only argued scarred her to believe love is nothing but a joke- a game. Growing in a home with no siblings and in a gated away manor has made for long lonely years. The real question was: Who wouldn't want to escape? Many would call her selfish for having absolutely everything she could possibly desire yet still ask for more, even if what she asks for is... less. She had no aspiration for her current lifestyle. Everyone on the outside sees her living a life full of wonder, amazement, and color. But she, just like her parents, lives in black and white, and it was suffocating. So in reality she didn't seek absence, she needed it, or she'd be driven insane. There’s a fine line between orthodox and unorthodox, she's currently habituated too far in the orthodox side of this line, only days away before her balance would be completely thrown off and shattered. "Spirit! I've had enough of your bickering! You're wrong, everything you're accusing me of is wrong... I'm retiring for the night," there was a pause of dead silence before her mother's shaken voice continued,  "have yourself a nice drink and a nice night you savage!" And footsteps pounded up the staircase- five seconds of more footsteps before a door slammed and the house fell into an gauche silence. "Go to sleep Maka, go to sleep, go to sleep. Everything will be okay if you go to sleep." She buried her face in a pillow and squeezed her eyes like the action would make her instantly grow tired and result in slumber. "Sleeping is good," a voice called out from the dark corner in her room, at this, she sat straight up in her bed, hairs sticking up, a chill running down her spine. "but only when you're having the good sleep." it was masculine, not quite deep, but unmistakably male. She slowly let her feet touch the floor that felt like ice even with it's beige carpet, even in the late spring. "The good sleep?" She questioned trying to look for a form in the shadows though all she saw was black wavering shapes, like shadows pulsing as if they were one of the new lava lamps. "Yeah, the sleep when you dream. When you escape." Maka tilted her head in confusion. "When you escape," he had said. That word, escape, it pulled her in like some type of trance. She pondered what it meant. Escape her current situation, escape these problems, this home(that failed to be warm like a home should be), this life? A smile almost spread across her face. When you dream... "I don't get very much dreams, not anymore," she continued after the pause of silence. She waited, more silence, then finally a response. "Then you have the bad type of sleep, with nightmares?" Maka found herself questioning what he meant by nightmares as well. Both of the subjects seemed so foreign to her, so naturally, her curiosity grew. "Enlighten me on nightmares, please." There was no face to prove her point, but she could sense it. Whoever he was, her question had let him grow shocked. "They're bad things, like monsters and goblins, witchcraft, that feeling you get when something bad happens or when something bad is going to happen, and you know it," he seemed to be finding the right words, "like fear." "I get a lot of fear, it's like I live in it. I know I shouldn't because everything bad that happens is very much expected, but that feeling still rises." There was no hesitation in her voice, and neither in him. "Yes, it's natural to be afraid, but if you want," he finally emerged himself from the shadows, his hair was white, the type of white she only sees during the winter, like snow, and his eyes were a deep red like the roses in the garden, his skin a beige color, but animate unlike her carpet where she was curling her bare toes into. "I can take you to a place where you'll never have to fear again. You can say goodbye to growing up, we can run away, start again, this time have a good childhood, a better reality. Just take my hand." She looked down to see his hand reaching for her, the twitch of curiosity and more yelling from the hall made her frown and take his hand without a second thought, her fingers curled around his warm palm. When he jumped from the window still holding onto her she screamed, and when they flew, she smiled just like he did while laughing at her expressions. "We're following the second star to the right, it shines in the night for you, to tell you that the few dreams you have can come true." Maka smiled as the night sky opened up for them, for the first time, her home looked beautiful and she understood why everyone felt like she lived in color. "Then let's go, let's run away, off to..." He grinned at her and she smiled joyfully. "Off to Neverland!" He continued, she nodded as they flew off, his hand never letting go of hers, even when the star expanded and she found herself traveling to the Neverland he spoke of. The bright colors and vast ocean leading to one island that bursted with life and magic. Something so surreal that she actually thought she was dreaming. "You'll get that feeling, Neverland is the land of dreams after all." He read her mind, she knew it. Landing was easy, being shown around was breathtaking, every cove, cave, cliff, it all seemed new and better than the pictures hanging in the dining room at home. Home. It was a topic she didn't like to bring up, not for the first week, not for the first month, only in the first year when he had kissed her, hugged her, loved her and made it clear, she now knew what love really was thanks to him, it was the first time she understood what home and love and dreams truly meant. She found herself asking him about it as she gazed out to the Mermaid Lagoon. "What is home to you, Soul?" His name was Soul, she hadn't known it the first day, not even the second, only on the third when she found herself talking to him and stumbling on her words trying to remember a memory she simply didn't have, she had never bothered to know, he amused her far too much and she simply forgot to ask. "Hmm..." He took a moment to think about his answer, the way his brow creased and how his eyes went distant, it always made her smile. "Home to me is where I can be me, where everything is perfect and where I can smile and be happy." She nodded and waited before sighing and standing. "Home to me, though it was black and white, lifeless, and broken. Home was with my parents, home is that place I want to correct as I grow, the place I know can be colorful like Neverland." His eyes widened at the word, the word she spoke for the first time in months, grow. "You've opened my eyes Soul," she paused and turned to him with sorrow and guilt in her gaze, "and I can never thank you enough for that but-" she gulped as the words rushed out. "I'd like to go home." The look that spread across her face made her feel culpable. He didn't argue with her or deny her of her request, he only silently reached out his hand for her to take, and they flew. They passed the star that guided them to and away from Neverland. She got sight of the manor she called home, it no longer resembled a prison, a sense of nostalgia washed over her as they got closer. "Everything is exactly as you left it, arguing parents and all. You only have to go back through the way you came." Maka looked back at him and kissed his cheek as a thank you, a thank you for everything he's done for her. Her small foot landed on the ledge of the window, his arm pulled her and he gave her a heartwarming longing look. "I'm not going to tell you to change your mind, just know that..." His face went distant before he took both of her arms in his hands and they floated in the space outside of window. "There's a place, that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming?" She nodded, the place he was talking about was like a faint trance one feels after they daydreamed of something wonderful, somewhere like Neverland. "That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." Her feet landed on the ledge and he kissed her forehead right before he disappeared into the shadows he had come from. It was not the last time she saw him, just like he promised, whenever she had dreams(which was now more often then before) she saw him, in the small haze before she was completely awake, she saw him, she saw them, faint memories of the adventures they had in Neverland. Even when she grew old and raised her own children she still saw him, she still believed. She still thought of Neverland.

[50funny]

Mage: Chapter 65-The Long Road To Lemia

Written By 50Funny

Part 1- Sea Legs

A loud horn sounded out echoing out through the metal halls of the large vessel. Liz’s eyes slowly began to groggily open up as she felt the rocking of the boat and heard the sound of the sea all around her. Her vision was blurry and dark bags hung under her eyes from a long string of nearly sleepless nights. She sat up on her hard, lumpy military issued bed and rubbed her weary eyes before noticing the light streaming into the dimly lit room through the small window.

“Huh… it’s morning already? I only just got to sleep,” Liz moaned in a croaky voice.

“Still getting your sea legs huh?” Came a voice from the corner of the room.

Liz turned to look to the source of the voice, seeing Tom standing there pulling his uniform on over his head.

“Ha, don’t think I could ever get used to this. How can you sleep with all this rocking? I can barely stop myself from throwing up all over the decks.”

“At least we’re almost there when we get to the mainland you'll just have to deal with these crappy beds they give us.”

Liz glanced down to the ground as a knot began to form in her stomach. By the time evening rolled in she would be standing on her ancestral home for the first time, a place she had hoped never to have to see. She knew better then anyone else what would happen to the Mages who landed on Lemia if they were found out and couldn’t bear to think about it. Liz looked up as Tom approached her, holding out her uniform towards her with a kind smile on his face.

“Come on… time to get ready. We’ve still got work to do before we make shore.”

Liz returned Tom’s smile before taking the uniform from him.

Alex grabbed at the tie that squeezed his neck and with his other tapped uncomfortably on his leg. He had been forced to wear the same uniform as the other bodyguards and was far from comfortable in such formal clothes. The head of the guards who sat next to him let out a low pitched growl as he watched Alex fidgeting out of the corner of his eye.

“Honestly… can't you just sit still and stay professional,” the man growled.

“It’s not my fault your uniform is stupid. Maybe if you loosened off your tie you wouldn’t be so grumpy all the time,” Alex replied.

The president placed his glace of wine down on the table in front of the group before looking across to the pair.

“Now now you two behave, you’re meant to be a team.”

“I’m sorry sir but he’s impossible to work with. He’s so sloppy and unprofessional.”

“Geez tell me how you really feel,” Alex muttered under his breath.

The president lent back on his cushioned leather seat and let out a long sigh.

“Adam… how many times do I have to tell you please don’t call me sir. Now I know you’re not happy about having to work with Alex here but if you are to be an effective guard you have to at least try to get on and work as a unit… ok?"

There was an uncomfortable silence between the group as Adam thought on Chris's words. The president turned to look at Alex.

“So Alex, this is your first time on a plane, isn’t it? So what do you think?” Asked the president.

Alex looked around at the luxury aircraft filled with all the finest things. There was artwork on the walls, deluxe rugs, and even a bar fully stocked with the most expensive drinks one could find. Other bodyguards stood motionless by each of the exits as others patrolled up and down the aisle.

“It’s… something I guess. Not my thing if I’m being honest,” Alex replied.

“Ha… well, I’m sure that for magic users like you the ability to fly is mundane, something that can be obtained with a simple bit of training, but for the rest of us normal folk this could very well be the future of travel.”

“Don’t get me wrong it’s impressive. I’ve seen some helicopters around before and even then was pretty amazed by how someone could make a hunk of metal like that fly, but this is something else. This thing is massive, it feels like I’m on a luxury train. I can't even begin to wrap my head around how they can make something like this fly so high without using any magic at all, it makes me a little tense. I'll stick to walking if you don’t mind,” Alex explained jokingly.

“Well if you think this is big you’ve seen nothing yet. From what I hear there working on a plane five times bigger than this with the ability to carry hundreds of people at a time. When it’s done the everyday joes and janes on the street will be able to travel from capital city to Seaside in just a few hours. Of course, it’s nowhere near finished yet but once this peace treaty is done we’ll have access to Lemian tech to help us. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you some of the things the genius Lemian scientists have made. Portable devices that can send and receive messages instantly and metal creatures that can work and are used to increase productivity in factories. That’s just one of the reasons I’m so eager to get this treaty signed, just imagine what our nation could do with that sort of thing,” The president said, no small amount of excitement lacing his voice.

Alex thought back to the man who he had fought in Steal Lake City and his metal body and strange weapon. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the man they had fought had more to do with the current state of affairs then they had thought. He knew something fishy was going on behind the scenes but could quite figure out what.

Part 2- Life On Deck

Liz collapsed backward onto the cold metal ground of the ship's deck and letting her broom drop next to her. She let out a long exhausted groan as she stared up at the blue, cloudless sky. Tom continued to sweep the decks ignoring Liz’s break down.

“Come on get back to work. You don’t want any of your superiors catching you slacking off, or you’ll get us both into trouble,” Tom said.

“The works done… it was done this morning when we did it and last night before that. It’s done finished complete, so why are we still doing it,” Liz continued to groan.

“Ha, yeah well that’s military life for you. They’ll make sure you’re busy even if the work is pointless, guess it teaches discipline.”

Liz looked up at her companion with a scowl firmly etched onto her face.

“You’re forgetting I’m not really a soldier, why should I care if the deck is clean or not?”

“For the time being you are so you might as well act like it, so like I said get back to work before someone sees and reprimands us.”

Liz pulled herself back up off the ground, reaching out to grab her broom as she did.

“Fine… but I’m not happy about it.”

Liz joined Tom once again in sweeping the decks. The speakers around the sheep all began to crackle and let out the hum of static.

“Attention all crew, we are approaching our destination. We are now entering preparation for landing so please move to your stations immediately.” Came a voice from the speakers.

The static cut out leaving the pair with just the sounds of the sea. Tom turned his head to look overboard only to be met by a wall of mountains coated in greenery off in the distance.

“Huh wow, looks like we’re earlier than expected.”

Liz turned to look at the stunning mountain range. She had heard stories from her parents in the past about the vast mountains surrounding there homeland but it was much more impressive than in the stories. Liz and Tome walked over to the edge of the ship to get as close as possible.

“Those mountains run around basically the whole continent making any attempt at invading a task and a half. If we were here to assault them id be crapping myself right now, guess I’m glad we’re here for peace.”

“Yeah,” Liz said only half-listening.

Her mind continued to think about everything that was happening. She had never thought she would see those mountains and had never wanted to. The reality of what was happening was fully starting to sink in. Her arms began to tremble slightly as she looked out over the ocean. Tom noticed Liz fear setting in as Liz stared out at the mountains.

“Hey… come on,” Tom said firmly, snapping Liz out of her state. “Let's get a move on, we don’t want to miss all the fun.”

Liz smiled kindly at Tom before the pair turned around and walked off down the ship to prepare for landing.

________________________________________________________________ Thank you for reading chapter 65 of mage If you like what you see consider checking out my AO3 at this link https://archiveofourown.org/users/50Funny to see all new chapters 3 days early. If you feel so inclined please consider following my tumblr for all updates and other tid bits. Until next time , have a good one.

[trliteraltrash]

I’m Not Childhood-trauma Case, Right?

First of all, please to not read this if you are triggered easily or do not want to read something fairly long. I see this as a sort of vent. I am not crying for help either - this head space of mine has no help to cry for.

There is no excuse for what you might see, so, do not tread lightly.

Under the cut is a watered down life story and an insight to my life should you care.

All of this is my truth.

It goes like this, one minute your searching up how to write about trauma, listening to the ambient sounds of your family outside your room, with the door that stays open because you can’t find it in you to clear the path for it to shut, yes, a lazy habit.

The next moment or so passes, you relate on some level to the posts your reading on Tumblr and Google, only, you can’t find yourself ticking the I was abused box because you really don’t know if you were.

Let’s place some cards on the table so you see the situation before you.

You’re parents’ are divorced, so already their titles are “Mum/Mom” and “Dad” not just your “Parents”. One was an alcoholic who physically and mentally abused the other, right up until you were about four years old.

You need some more information? Well, here’s a few more cards to this deck you sit atop.

You aren’t the only one in this little ‘situation’ of yours. You have an older sibling, three years apart, and a younger one, of almost three years again. In that sense, you’re the middle child. What happens when that is the case? You wouldn’t know, it only stayed that way for about twelve months.

Your mother has another partner at this point, a man with PTSD. they have two children together, he already had three kids. by the time you are nine years old you are one child of eight almost genetically related kids in the round-about loop. Only four of your siblings actually live with you. In total, you’re the third eldest. However, you are second eldest in your household.

You become very mature for your age, always quiet and observing. Every piece of information becomes catalogued. By the time you turn thirteen, you have anger problems, making regretful choices, having hit your friends a few times - they accept that. At this point in time you are attending your fifth school purely due to moving, a school becoming too expensive, or maybe both.

Your friends don’t stay long. You often wonder if they even remember you. You’ve also taken to drawing at this point. It’s easy to make messy beginner’s mistakes. No one seem’s bothered by your new obsession. You’re still quiet, finding small talk annoying.

By the end of year/grade seven, you’ve moved schools again. The information in this area shocks you, another chance presents itself - who do you want to be? You’ve tried the tough, anger type, the quite shy type, even the nerdy smart type by this point. You decide to make fast friends - maybe this is for the best.You suspect you’ll move on fast.

Oh, I seem to forget, before entering this point, you’ve had your first brush with a student trying to kill themselves in the middle of the classroom with a borrowed pair of scissors. The two girls next to his had counselling for it.

What was the point of counselling? You had never needed it. Moving forward, The friends around you had engaged in cutting. the first was an obvious cry for attention that you sated with genuine concern, the second you tried to help, even if it was triggered with words you heard as ‘I’ll stop when [they] stop.’ the third was the biggest cry for attention. Did you have to follow this ‘Trend’? you didn’t want to, your venting was to paper with a pen.

Writing became your best friend. As did drawing, both a cry for attention that no one could see. Bleeding hearts, bloodied and broken angels with their eyes missing, friends and family alike had died by this point, only fourteen years old and the nightmares each night have started on and off again.

an invisible pressure on your chest when you awake or go too sleep interrupting your already active mind. Each ‘vent’ drawing inspiring the word ‘beautiful’ from every person who sees.

Why don’t they ask whats wrong?

You cried a few times, long curly hair covering your shoulders as you cried so quietly in front of crowds of people who did nothing less than ignore you, literally. they knew of nothing that was wrong.

By the time you're sixteen, you’re at school number seven. you’ve done nothing wrong, only a few memories of play ground bullying coming back inconveniently - such as the time when you were in year/grade one and a group of boys had bullied you into physically fearing being by yourself on the playground. An altercation of a stick throw hitting the biggest one’s head, drawing minimal blood leaves you with black and blue bruises over your entire left side, 

The situation at sixteen is that you attempt to make others feel better about themselves whilst remaining the reserved optimistic pessimist that over analyses every situation. You’ve made new and old friends by this point.

The year feels as if it is going to be okay, dealing with your fathers partner of around six years isn’t as much of a hassle by this point. Your father himself is just happy to see you and has stopped asking your siblings if they will come to see him. He doesn’t know that She, his partner pushed him away with her controlling nature and abusive attitude that no doubt pushed her own children (the ones she had as a teen) away.

Now, nearing seventeen, you have started sorting more of your life out, your fathers partner has had the long winded debate of how much you dislike her in complex “You’re there with my father and despite your health issues that I do not find sympathy for (sorry) nor the almost excuse of ‘My own flesh and blood daughters don’t have anything to do with me’ spiel will work because I do not appreciate you calling yourself my stepmother.” will not excuse the problem that all the ways she tried to ‘win’ your affection would not work.

Your father did not tell you to apologise. You had refused to apologise to her in the first place.

Yet.

You still felt the need to explain yourself to him. Everything with him needs a reason.

Coming back to topic you will see that there are many cards here. All of the negative ones. overlooked school performances, playful jabs from siblings,a family that has two divorced people together in your main unit, another in the alcoholic father you only sometimes visit.

All of the experiences of your life may be part of what people know as ‘trauma’. You, or, more accurately: Me. The author of what you’re reading, do not believe this. If it were, perhaps there would have been some kind of counselling involved.

You see, in this sort of situation - I cannot find anyone who is in the same position. I do feel alone, as alone as I can when I live with so many people. It has become so easy to internalise hate and conversations that have never happened which plague my sleep or waking time.

Here are some more facts:

I am both Asexual and Bi-romantic.I have, on occasion felt curious about what people feel when the ‘release’ of cutting themselves occurs. I then remember that my older and younger sibling from my fathers, therefore my own bloodline have both caused this upon themselves. I do not want to continue this - I do not wish to inflict physical signs that I am hurt or damaged to the outside world.

I have thought about the implications of killing myself. I entertain the idea, but that is selfish and would cause my family and those who care pain.

I have, on many occasions, stayed at home when my siblings go out with my parents purely because I feel as though their short trips to places will make for a more comfortable car trip if I simply do not go - even if i have been told initially that I’d be going.

I don’t ask for items or anything that will cost money if i can go without it purely because I don’t want to be an expense - it is selfish and sometimes I still ask for experiences. When i get asked why i don’t ask for things I shrug, when really the answer is clear in my memories; My mother would almost desperately ask in a scolding tone to stop asking for things - after all, every one or two dollar item soon creates a large expense.

Because of this, I do not use the lunch money she gives on occasion.

There is a lot I do not do, or decide to do when I look back through my memories, I have spent many of these teen years hiding away when I could be outside, spending time with people.

I have grown use to this life of placing others before myself.

I have grown used to the word ‘fat’ or ‘bitch’ or, on occasion, internalising a flinch when someone raises their hand in a mock ‘hit’ only to think it’s funny when ‘Ha! I was finally able to scare you!’ not understanding that being hit is a legitimate fear that negates an automated reaction.

But no, my fear of being abused, not in some level of control, not in a safe environment (even slightly), being physically alone, of heights, of crying in front of people, et cetera, et cetera. is not something I label as trauma.

I do not wish to believe myself as a Childhood trauma case. However, sometimes when i listen to a song enough times, and read about how to write trauma, getting into the head space of, “Do I perhaps even nudge the surface of this vast ocean?” I cry myself a river that may only last a few tears on the outside, but is its own world of murk on the inside.

No, I am by no means strong. You may perceive my lack of tears, or the way I can lift over forty kilograms as strength. But I know that not to be true.

i simply know where and when it is acceptable to let the taped over glass bottle smash and be replaced with a slightly more reinforced one.

But sure, all of this and I am still an optimist. I’ll forever thank the one who wrote me:

“If we saw the world as brightly as you do, we would all be blind.”

because i choose to stay on the bright side, if another can be taught to see a little brighter, if only for a moment of my guidance, then I have done my job as a fellow human - a moment of normalcy in a rather uncaring mind.

because truthfully, I don’t care.

I feel everything so fucking strongly that I physically cannot turn away.

...

And the next moment after this run of unwanted reflection?

Well...

How

Do

You

Write

Trauma

?

[lauren18]

December 7, 2015

So Im currently sitting in my truck, eating ice cream. I couldnt help but think of us the whole day. But right now I just kind of thought of everything from the beginning to now. From who I was before I met you, to who I was when I met you, to who I am now..... It was 8:31 pm when I wrote that, I am currently sitting in my living room on my computer reading my old writings. It is 8:51 pm right now. 3/31/14 "She's like a red rose flower Her smile beautiful and let's off a warmth like the sun. She stands tall, elegant, and filled with power. When I look at her all I see is genuine, innocent fun. I see her eyes and realIze that this red rose is filled with beauty. I get lost in her beautiful blossoming youth, only to see God's most beautiful rose. Her smooth, silky hair moves in harmony with the wind as rose petals do. She is many among a garden of roses, but she is the only whose thorns I adore. Her sweet, gentle personality nurtures my soul as a rose's nectar nurtures a bee. Someday I hope she sees, that amongst a garden of flowers as far as the eye can see. We are meant to be." I always wanted a girl who I could appreciate as much as you do a rose, Lauren. Now that I read this poem that I wrote almost two years ago, I can't help but think of you. You are everything this poem describes, from the sweet, gentle personality to the way your hair moves whenever I play with it. I knew even then, that if I were to get hurt I would still love her. No matter how many thorns you may have, i only want to get cut by you. Before I can have you, I have to help cut your thorns off. Those being all your personal demons and things I don't know about. That way I can hold you in my hands and smell the love in the air like you do with a rose. Even though thorns are used as a defense mechanism, bees are still wiling to suck the nectar out because it nurtures them. Just like you have some things that still make you defensive, I still want the nectar that is your love and even if I get cut it is worth it because your love nurtures me and gives me life. It is now 9:04 pm and this is another thing I wrote. This was gonna be a part of the story I was gonna write over the summer I told you about but never finished it. 5/27/14 "And their love was like the ocean and the moon. Without one the other became lost and unguided. When together she made his heart a beautiful sea of calm waters. She was his moon, guiding his troubled waves and reflecting her beautiful light on his soul. As the moon makes the oceans waves dance in melodic harmony as they crash on a beaches shore, so did their love. It was almost like an un choreographed dance, all natural, swaying from side to side, keeping their hearts aligned with the music. But instead of music, they danced to the upbeat melody of each other's love. And as the ocean needs the moon, he needed her." Lauren, you are the moon that guides my troubled waters. Without each other we both become lost because we need each other. We aren't perfect people, but our imperfections and love makes us perfect for each other. We guide one another and bring meaning to each other. And I understood that one day, if I was to find the right one, I was going to need her. You are my moon Lauren, I need you. You guide me and shed light to my stormy waters and bring me back home. Back to us. It is now 9:11 pm and I feel so sad reading and so happy reading these. 8/18/14 "And I look up at the moon. I can't help but think of her. Like the moon, her beauty is the one that radiates amongst vast amounts of infinite stars. When you look up at the moon your deepest thoughts and feelings are revealed to you. She does the same..." This one really hit me. I never ever thought of these while I was with you, I completely forgotten what I had wrote. I just knew they were always about the ideal girl I wanted... When we lay in the grass for hours and you talk to me, I always see the moons light in your eyes and the just become so radiant. It's fucking insane how divinely beautiful you become. I couldn't think you could become more beautiful, but that is my favorite moment ever. My deepest thoughts and most darkest thoughts are always at night. You reveal the same to me, you are the light in the night sky that keeps me comfortable. I am not scared to be myself anymore or to tell you what Im afraid of. You bring these things out of me because I love you more than anything. You are my everything Lauren. 9:17 pm and I'm still reading and thinking 9/13/14 "Understand that no other has ever made me feel the way you do. The sight of your divine face radiates light to the world as the sun does. The sound of your name is like an orchestra perfectly in tune. My ears dance whenever it is said. Give me your hand and let me show you wonderland. Let me show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. There is a world beyond this one and it is located inside my very heart. I want you to explore my being and colonize your love into my soul. Know that if we ever do find darkness, I will follow you into the abyss and fight the very demons who challenged us. You are imperfection at its finest. You see, perfection is dull. There is no excitement to perfection because it is routine. However, your flaws show me how unique of an individual you are. All your struggles, your fears, your doubts, your mistakes, your past. All of these are stories I want to learn and fall in love with. Don't be scared of the unknown, because Im not scared to reveal it to you. " This one hit me the most. I can't believe how much this is you. It is true, no one has ever made me feel the way you do. I fucking love listening to your name, hearing other people say your name, or even seeing your name on my screen when I get your snapchat or text. I always wanted someone to find their way into my heart and you have. All of these things and problems we've been having, Lauren, I will follow you into hell and fight anyone or anything who dare challenge our love. You told me you weren't perfect last night. Perfection is fucking stupid. That's what makes you so unique, you are flawed but so am I and I love that. These things make you who you are and I absolutely love who you are and I will always be there to help you Lauren. I don't want you to be scared of the unknown Lauren. I don't want you to be scared of me. I will just reveal to you how perfect we are for each other. I read something on tumblr that really fucked me up. It said, "I don't love him, but he is here and you're not." And it's super true. The idea of losing you is unbearable and I could never imagine someone else taking my place and comforting you. I think I'd lose all my senses. I don't want anyone being there for you and not me. I don't want another guy taking you from me. I guess this is rather lengthy, but I couldn't just not say anything this whole week after what happened. I needed you to know that everything I've ever wanted in a girl, all my dreams, thoughts and hopes, you are the living manifestation of my ideal girl. You are all I've ever wanted Lauren Renee Brotherton. I can't wait to hear your laugh again because it's fucking contagious. I crave your intelligent mind. I fucking love you and I hope you kick ass in finals ❤️❤️❤️