#how did i get so lucky?!

[2aceofspades]

u know, I'm just gonna take this opportunity while Ace is stuck in that hole they dug themselves into and therefore cant stop me from just....

*takes deep breath*

Hey did yall know that Ace is so amazing and talented and they deserve so much love and appreciation because theyre the bestest and nicest and devious lil goon we couldve ever asked for and if the universe is ever mean to Ace I will rally the troops and fistfight the universe myself because they deserve nice things dammit

ACE HYPE HOURS 24/7 YALL

~-- --- .-. ... . / .- -. --- -.

YOU-

Staaaaaawp- 🥺🥹😭

Morse anon!!! I can't explain how grateful I am to you, my lovely morse anon. You are a ~literal angel~

*Crawls out of the metaphorical hole I dug myself to slide you a metaphorical uno reverse card* mehehe~

Oh stars, I was not expecting that but may I just say, you have impeccable timing. You never fail to cheer me up in the best way and bring a big ol' goofy smile to this lil' goon's face. I am so fortunate to know you and have such heartwarming and fun interactions with you. Thank you from the bottom of my lil' goon heart, my dear morse anon 💙✨

[egophiliac]

I DID IT I GOT MY PINK HAYATE now I am never doing that again!

(at least until they give me, like, a frilly unicorn Kamui or something)

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[jula483]

David Tennant, November 8th ❤️

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[mercurymacaroons]

arrives 15 min late with a latte

......sup

[boojangs]

Other people introducing Wednesday: This is the Slayer of Evil, a true freak amongst outcasts, the ruthless deviant who strikes fear into the devil himself, Wednesday Addams.

Wednesday introducing herself: I am Enid's wife, unhappy to meet you.

[tommygotwrittenoff]

bobby says to eddie one shift where buck is home sick with chris. going home to see your boys? eddie smiles and says. yeah. and your boys just Sticks in eddies brain and when he gets home he sees chris and buck curled up on the couch asleep and the sight makes him pause cuz. yeah. those are his boys

[marblerose-rue]

braixen

(request)

[hellsite-detective]

are you also the hellsite-hall-of-girlfriend?

indeed i am! the one and only~!

i have two personas, the stoic and mysterious lone wolf detective, and the happy bubbly lovey girl who loves her sweet and perfect girlfriend so much!!!

[periwinkla]

Update

Hello everyone, if you've seen the last update you'll know I'm doing a little better. I'm not sure if the problem is going to disappear completely, but it's at least bearable.

Anyway, although it took several days, I was able to sketch a thing. So that's something. Probably going to post it later today.

Texting is mostly fine now. Drawing is a bit more difficult because the movements are way more complex... it's a bit of a mess, but hopefully it'll get better.

[souenkun]

"I wish you could see it, too" got a whole new meaning when it's revealed that takashi has all these precious people he could actually enjoy pretty, interesting sceneries with (even if he didn't get to see them together for some instances), while reiko likely had no one to do that after what had happened with souko 💔

[jinstronaut]

i still orbit you, and nothing’s changed, but if there’s no name to love, everything has changed. (cr. namuspromised, lyric translation doolsetbangtan)

happy birthday @cordiallyfuturedwight 💜💜💜

[ratatatastic]

"what did you eat and drink out of the cup?"

caviar

dumplings (mother's cooking)

n/a because a horse ate out of the cup

ice cream sundae

chicken bean pasta (i.e. reinharts' spaghetti lol)

lobster pie (mother's cooking)

lucky charms, magaritas

apparently samuel's 93 yr old nana chugged a beer from the cup

lots of beer

surprise its beer again

[dreamerinsilico]

You’ve heard of the browser wars....

I just recently made a long-overdue defection in the search engine wars, and I’m entirely pleased with it. 

You know how shitty Google results are when you need some fairly niche information that won���t be in a Wikipedia article, mainstream news, or some shitty celebrity gossip outlet, these days?

DuckDuckGo has cleared my skin, watered my crops, etc.  I was kind of ambiently glad it existed for a long time, but was like “well, privacy good, but my infosec practices are already sketchy at best, and google’s been doing this for a long-ass time; they’re probably better at it, so why bother.”  But no, my friends, google is better at something but these days that something is delivering clickbait to your fucking eyeballs.

I was frustrated with a very specific science question the other day and getting absolutely fucking nowhere with google, swapped over to duckduckgo on a curious whim, and it... didn’t get me exactly what I needed immediately, but it did give MUCH more relevant search results than google did.  And that’s, well, because enshittification.  Maybe someday, duckduckgo will also live to see itself become the villain, but for right now, it’s fucking useful, and it is now my default search engine on every device I use (and also every work computer i have reason to touch).

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.