#how did i forget these. i have seen this short likely over a hundred times. it's in my top 3 cartoons ever made. i.

[multifandomfanatic02]

"You Don't Own Me."

pairing : Alastor x overlord!reader

summary : A new overlord has came to play in Hell, you. Alastor took notice in how many souls you've accrued in such a short time. He has to let you know where you stood in the overlord hierarchy, however things don't go the way he originally planned.

warnings : slight blood play ig? Idk. Author trying to edge the reader :)) not proofread

word count : 900

You hadn't been in Hell for long but it felt as if you belonged. It didn't take long before you started catching the hearts of the sinners. A lot happily giving up their souls to simply breathe the same sulfuric air as you. The way you used these souls was unique. You weren't mean or evil in anyway shape or form. In fact, you were often seen as an inspiration.

The overlords in Pentagram City were a different story. None of them liked the way you shot up the hierarchy without even trying. Instilling fear was what got them where they were at and they weren't going to give up their seat to a goody-two-shoes like you. Your methods interested one overlord in particular, Alastor. Despite literally being stuck in the past, he was quite the open-minded demon.

He didn't know whether or not to applaud you or challenge you. Your talent would be useful. He wanted you for himself. And for years he fought to claim your soul and make a deal. And not once out of the hundreds of proposals did he convince you it was a good idea. The two of you slowly started to develop a strange relationship. Nothing romantic but there was definitely tension. While he didn't own your soul, you were often in each other's company.

It was like mutualistic relationship. He staved off the overly pushy overlords constantly offering you a job; jobs that would obviously make you uncomfortable. In turn, you offered your assistance in a lot of his business. It came with pros and cons like any other agreement. He was extremely possessive of you. You were treated like precious property. You had enough. There was no reason for this behavior. Typically it didn't bother you, but something snapped.

"Alastor. You do not own my soul. I'm not property that you can toy with. I should be allowed to go wherever I please." You crossed your arms in frustration hearing him explain why he didn't want you in the Vees territory.

"Darling, you know I hold you with upmost respect. It's got nothing to do with you being property. I understand you are immune to Vox's hypnosis spell. It's not him I'm worried about. My worry is of Vox's plaything, Valentino." He gripped your wrist, leaning ever so slightly to place a kiss on your knuckles. "Understand that you are a sight to behold in the entirety of Hell. Valentino, is not honorable in his job as I, my dear. Without the proper protection, you might as well be an easy target." His breath ghosted your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

It's like he forgot who you were, what you were capable of. It was time to show him how that talent of yours has affected him over time. And trust when you say, it did.

"Oh Alastor, I think you forget as to how I became an overlord in the first place. The feminine charm that you oh so fear backfiring on me is why you have been by my side after all these years." You wrapped your fingers around his bow tie, pulling him down to your level. An enchanting smile creeping up on your face as Alastor's expression glitched out from the bold action. The other hand running through his hair making him let out a soft purr. His eyes focused on yours trying to determine your next move before you could decide.

To his surprise, you gently pressed your lips against his. His head was dizzy with confusion and guilty enjoyment. Your lips trailed down his neck, biting down a bit. Enough for his blood to trickle down. Your hands were now trading between playing with his hair and drawing small circles on the back of his neck. Your lips returned to his, smearing the blood from your tongue as if it were a beautiful crimson lipstick. The poor guy was so touch starved, he gave in to the sudden intrusion of affection. He couldn't do anything but allow you to press his buttons.

Your tongue ran over your lips, swallowing whatever blood was left on them. You took a step back to view the obvious mess you've made. Alastor's eyes were dazed as if he was in another world. His face beet red nearly matching the color of his suit. It was such an unusual sight to see on him. And you managed to do it.

"My my, Alastor, you look like you would be willing to sell me your soul just readingthe look on your face." You held your hand to your lips to cover the laugh attempting to escape. "How the tables have turned, dear." A joke of course, he would never actua-

"Yes." His ears dropped to the back of his head, still standing at your level. No sign of humor on his face.

"I'm sorry, what?" You blinked dumbfounded, mouth agape.

"I will give you my soul, but only if I'm the only one to experience that from you." Your face flushed from his proposal. Alastor had actually submitted to you because of a single kiss? But it wasn't JUST a kiss to him. It forced out desires he had been holding in for a long time. Now more than ever was he determined to have you be his. It didn't matter as to how anymore.

"You've got yourself deal, Al."

a/n: I know this one is short, it was more of an experiment because of a dream that I had. However if you like this concept, I'd be more than happy to build upon it in the future.

[cal-flakes]

╰┈➤ rafe gets jealous

warnings: a tiny bit of smut, swearing, dom!rafe, mean!rafe, shitty writing.

summary: rafe gets jealous when you talk to jj at a party. innocent!reader x rafe

the loud thumping music invaded her ears as she made her way around the large house. she had arrived with her boyfriend but thirty minutes in and he was nowhere to be seen. these parties weren’t her kind of thing, but of course she’d go just to make rafe happy. she’d do anything to make rafe happy.

her eyes skimmed the crowd, not being able to see much over the sea of people. it probably didn’t help that all these people seemed to be absolute giants. moving from the living room, she found a corner in the hallway to try and situate herself.

y/n wasn’t good with crowds, and she certainly wasn’t used to them. you’d be surprised at the amount of people who were utterly confused about the relationship between rafe and y/n. he was all about parties, drugs and alcohol while she preferred last night walks, staying in and watching films. it took some convincing from rafe to get y/n to go, but after seeing how happy it would make him, it was an easy decision.

watching so many people pass by her over and over made her dizzy. she didn’t know who’s house this was, she didn’t know who was here. before she knew it, panic set in and her eyes glazed over. y/n’s chest heaved as she tried her best to shrink into the corner.

a familiar voice broke her free of the hundreds of thoughts crossing her mind at such an insane speed. “hey y/n! didn’t think this was your scene?”

turning her head, her eyes met with an old friends, provoking a relieved grin to cross her face. “jj! thank god, have you seen rafe?” jj’s face contorted at the thought of y/n’s boyfriend. there was a very hostile history between the two, one y/n chose to ignore, not wanting to pick sides. “nah, you can come sit with us if you want?” jj offered sweetly, very aware of y/n’s anxiousness.

being childhood bestfriends with someone, you become used to their personality and mannerisms. just like jj had always done, he’d helped her out of another nerve-wracking situation.

nodding her head eagerly, she followed him through the house, all the way to the back garden. out there she recognised a few faces, john b, pope, kiara and sarah. as they noticed the girl following behind jj, they gave her warm smiles, especially sarah.

“rafe wander off again?” she half-joked, of course she knew what her brother was like, but didn’t appreciate his ability to forget to keep an eye on y/n. she nodded in response, a somewhat embarrassed laugh escaping her.

“why don’t you sit with us until he shows up?” jj suggested. “thank you guys, i don’t even know why i’m here to be honest.” y/n sat down on the deckchair next to her friend, pulling her short dress down as she did.

after some time, they had all fallen into conversation with one another.

“hey y/n do you remember when we-” jj started but was quickly cut off by the shadow of someone stood behind them. y/n and the pogues glanced up in sync, y/n’s eyes widening in delight as she scanned the familiar face.

“rafe! i couldn’t find you!” she beamed, happy to be in his company once again. “so you come sit out here with these pogues?” rafe grumbled, venom in his tone.

“hey! if you hadn’t left her all alone in there, jj never would’ve brought her out here!” sarah retorted, growing annoyed with her brothers attitude. rolling his eyes, rafe huffed and reached for y/n’s arm, wrapping a strong hand around her wrist.

“um, bye guys, it was nice to see you all!” y/n shouted over her shoulder as rafe dragged her away from the group.

rafe continued to pull her through the house until the pair reached his car. “get in.” he spat. bowing her head, she obliged, not wanting to anger him further. sitting down in the passenger side, she buckled her seatbelt quietly.

y/n eyed rafe as they drove in silence, his knuckles were white against the steering wheel as he seethed. deciding to speak up “please don’t be mad rafe, i was lost and jj was just trying to help” she mumbled, wary of his response. “jj this, jj that! do you have a thing for him or something?” rafe yelled, jaw clenching.

“what? no of course not! he’s just my friend rafe! i only want you!” she pleaded, trying to break his delusions. glancing at her slightly, rafe slammed the breaks on, pulling over on a dark road. “prove it.”

y/n’s face fell into a confused frowned, not quite understanding. rafe reached over to unbuckle her seatbelt before removing his own and leaving the car. y/n sat there in silence, baffled.

she jumped in her seat as rafe ripped her door open. reaching for her again, he pulled her out of the car before pinning her against it.

she felt his hot breath on his face as she met his volatile gaze, chest heaving. “i said prove it y/n” rafe snarled as he continued to tower above her. looking up at him, brows furrowed “i don’t understand rafe?”

“get on your fucking knees, and prove it” he spat, wrapping a hand around her throat before lowering her to the ground.

it was like a lightbulb went off in her head, finally understand what he wanted. she reached for his belt buckle, carefully undoing it. rafe’s hands gathered y/n’s hair into a ponytail while she pulled his jeans and boxers down, freeing his hard on.

before he could even blink, she wrapped her lips around the tip of his length, looking at him for approval as she did.

“that’s a good girl”

[iaminfourthwing]

The Generals Daughter

A/N: hello guys. As an apology for the long wait I took the time today to write another chapter for you, I hope you'll like it :) And I'll have a taglist so if you are interested in getting tagged for future chapters don't hesitate to ask :) thank y'all for your support, love you <3

Chapter XV

‚Since we’re already late, we’ll skip the flight maneuver.‘

We’ve been in the air for a few minutes without communicating. I admire the view over the landscape, let my eyes swipe over the valley and look how the golden rays of sunshine hit the nature. It’s a beautiful first day of October. It’s magnificent. Breathtaking. Peaceful.

The cold wind rips little tears from my eyes and I know now, why riders choose to wear goggles. 

Normally dragons would test their newly bonded riders to if they are worthy or not. But due to it being already late we have no time for this today.

‚I promise,I will not disappoint you and show, that I am worthy of our bond.‘ I say truthfully. She grumbles in approval.

‚I am Arya, by the way.‘ Not me totally forgetting to introduce myself before I mounted her.

‚I know exactly who you are, Arya Melgren. Fierce, protective, misunderstood‘ her soothing voice echoes through my head. Oh wow, that fits perfectly. I am impressed.

‚My name is Innealfala, Innea for short. I am from the Gormfaileas Line of dragons, the same as your wingleaders dragon.‘ Sgaeyl and her are from the same den? That shouldn’t really surprise me. 

She chuckles. Well, at least she got some sense of humor.

‚The small one Tairn chose as his rider‘ she starts. 

‚Violet?‘

‚Yes. Andarna bonded her as well. The Empyrean just decided that they are both allowed to bond her after your human leadership wanted to prevent that.‘ 

Oh. My. God. Both dragons?! Not a single rider since the first ever dragon riders bonded more than one dragon! Wow, that’s truly something. I can imagine how shocked and disapproving the leadership is. As if they would have ever any say in what the dragons do or not.

Damn, what would I have given to see my fathers face when Violet revealed both names of her dragons. I bet Dain was on the verge of an heart attack.

And just then I notice that we approach Basgiath. The flight field comes in sight and we can see the variations of dragons down there. Red, Brown, Green, Orange, Black. Blue as well, you have to see Sgaeyl, even from up here and even if she is just at the side. The flight field is filled with hundreds of dragons and riders. In between them are hopefully my friends. 

Innea roars loudly. She is bigger than the other dragons but must be around the same height as Sgaeyl, I’d think. Her roar seems to mean something like „Get out of the way“ because the dragons step aside. Cadets, riders and leadership look our way when we land.

While I dismount I ignore the prying eyes send our way and land steadily on both my feet. 

Kaori said no blue dragons are going to bond and yet, here I am. With a gorgeous midnight blue dragon by my side. And if I can read her den leaders glare right, she is not impressed with Inneas choice to bond.

The dry blood on my face suddenly makes me remember how I must look like right now. Completely bloodied face and neck, a triumphant smirk growing in the corners of my mouth while I make my way over to the roll-keeper to tell them my dragons name. Fuck … she really chose me.

‚Of course I did. You are one of the most intelligent, not only in your year but in general. You are strategic, strong, independent and calculating. We’ll make a fantastic team.‘

Gods, I already love her.

Stepping in front of the roll-keeper, I ignore my fathers heated glare and the rest of the leadership. Professor Kaori stares open-mouthed (probably for the second time today) and tries to memorize every single detail of the midnight blue dagger tail behind me, whose eyes never left my retreating figure. I can feel her stare, her golden calculating eyes, on me. 

„Wow, Arya. No one has seen her for over fifty years.“ he says impressed.

The roll-keeper looks up and glances sideways to my dragon, throat bobbing nervously while trying to hold her composure. Poor girl probably has enough surprises for today.

„Arya Melgren“ she say while she writes in the Book of Riders. Her eyes swipe over my bloodied figure, noticing how the most of it is not my own. Her wide brown eyes turn back to the book. „For the record, please tell me the name of the dragon who chose you.“ Her shaky voice betrays her. While Tairn is massive and deadly, blue dragons are known for being unpredictable, ferocious and murderous. No wonder the girl is terrified.

„Innealfala“ my strong and cold voice carries over the almost silent flight field. 

‚Mh, I am impressed‘ Innea murmurs amused.

‚What can I say, I am a natural.‘

I pivot, ready to finally get back to her when the voice of my father stops me. „You are late“ judgement clouding his words. Of fucking course, that’s the only thing he is concerned about. I clench my fists.

„I was … occupied“ I spit out. Knowing that he wants to say more and try to humiliate me further I ignore every rational thought and walk away from him. More than one sharp intake of air is heard. No one dares to ignore or challenge the General. And I just did.

‚If he ever dares to lay another finger on you, he’ll regret it deeply.‘

‚Maybe get that black beast on the list too.‘

‚Will do.‘ No questions, just acceptance.

Standing in front of her again I look up at her thankful and turn back around to the flight field. General Sorrengail took her place on top of the podest. She closes out the formal portion of the Threshing ceremony, promising the unbonded cadets another chance next October. As if they wouldn’t try and kill riders to get to our dragons. Violet now has a big fat target on her back.

‚Don’t worry. The wingleader will protect her‘ Innea says.

‚Why would Xaden bother to protect her?‘ I ask confused, ignoring the speaking General in the front.

‚Because Sgaeyl and Tairn are a mated pair‘ she replies calmly. My eyes widen. Oh god … that’ll complicate everything.

‚Step forward‘ she grumbles.

Confused I do as she says and then there is a stinging pain and heat blasts at my right side of my back and down my ribs.

‚It’s pretty big, but you’ll like it.‘ My relic!

Rushed footsteps come my way and then I am in strong arms, hugging me tightly. No wait, three pairs of arms.

„We fucking did it!!“ Ridoc shouts loudly. I laugh while Ri and Sawyer cheer. 

„Where is Vi-“ in this moment I see her. In Dains arms. Kissing.

Ridoc whistles. A few feet away from the kissing pair stands our wingleader, a murderous glare firmly on his face while his executive, Garrick Tavis, is next to him with an amused smirk.

„Well, I am not so jealous anymore“ I murmur. While my friends have no idea what I am talking about, Innea laughs in my head. 

‚Glad to hear that.‘ I just chuckle.

„Actually“ Sawyer starts, „what the fuck happened with you?!“

„Well … let’s just say, Trevor is not going to be a problem anymore, as well as Tynan, and Barlowe has two lapdogs fewer.“ We all laugh again.

Suddenly, Innea hisses loudly. Heavy footsteps approach us. Making eye contact with my father, I realize some curious glances are thrown our way. My friends tense but don’t move away from my sides. Amari, I am so happy to have them. 

Over my fathers strong shoulder I can see Xaden, Garrick and Liam, who must have joined them, observe us. While I can’t describe Xadens mimic, Liam is obviously worried and Garrick tense.

„I’d like to speak to Cadet Melgren alone, if you don’t mind.“ That was no question. That was a command, to leave us alone. They have no choice but to go away, probably to Violet. But I know they’ll let their eyes on us. In case … he tries to hurt me again.

Taglist: @puttyly @tinystudentmiracle @freyagallileaevans @aroacemushroom

[quigzahhutt]

woah !!! celebratory fic snippet for reaching 7k words on the 3rd part of the sargebon phone sex series :)

Alex's gaze drifts to Logan's adam’s apple, catching his eye when it suddenly starts bobbing, constricting as Logan takes a deep breath. “D'you know how George made a whole thing for you, like… to get you that Williams seat?” Logan starts conversationally, resolutely making eye contact despite the way his voice wavers. It catches Alex by surprise, at first. Logan has a way of doing that– catching him with crooked footing and throwing words in his direction that Alex could never even dream of predicting. He eventually gathers himself though. “Yeah, I do. Could never forget it, to be honest- he kind of saved my career,” Alex says and his voice comes out overtly soft, almost like he's sharing a secret, even though he's told the story hundreds of times on public television. Maybe it's the environment, but everything this whole week has felt entirely too intimate, too touchy, like Alex might shatter it all if he speaks over a certain decibel. Logan hums thoughtfully at that, turning his attention back to the horizon. His eyes flick around for a while, like they're looking for something specific, something that he can't find and eventually gives up on. Logan has never looked more beautiful, in Alex's opinion. His hair is the perfect length, not too choppy or too loose, and he has this laxness to his posture that Alex has never seen in him before. It's something he could get used to. “Would you…” Logan asks something, refusing to look Alex in the face, a complete 180 to just a second earlier, and his voice is so small that Alex can't even hear him. “Sorry?” Alex regrettably has to ask, leaning forward in hopes of getting a better look at Logan's face. Logan ends up tilting his head so Alex still can't see him fully. “Like… would you do that for me, too? Help me with… Do what George did for you, and back me up,” He reiterates, nervously twiddling with the lower hemline of his shorts. The request sends something squirrelly up Alex's spine, and he suddenly realizes that he would do anything for Logan, as long as he asks, and the truth of it thumps forebodingly against his ribs. Alex forces himself to breathe, take a moment to collect himself before he says anything insane. It's a slippery slope, being so in love with someone; he never quite knows the limits, or if Logan even feels at all the same about him, and he absolutely doesn't have the guts to ask after a week like this. “I would- I can, if you want me to,” despite taking time to tie up his nerves, Alex still ends up saying it all in one big rush, ushering out the words in haste like he's afraid of running out of time. He's already lost enough time as it is. Logan looks at him, then, and Alex watches the movement sharply in his peripheral vision, now being the one avoiding eye contact; a complete mirror of how they were before, just swapped. Logan studies him for a while, unmoving, careful like a hawk waiting to swoop on its prey (Or an eagle, Alex mentally huffs). “Okay,” Logan says, bobbing his head, and Alex is worried that if his tone gets any softer, he may never be able to hear his voice ever again. The thought is like poison. It's then that Alex decides to look him in the face, and they meet there briefly, until Logan looks away again, and a childish blush makes its way onto his cheeks, as if being under the scrutiny of Alex's gaze is too much, too flustering, and he squints against the light in his eyes. The sun is all the way up now, overwhelmingly bright and beaming as it warms up the air around them. It feels like an entirely new day.

I hope you're excited !!

[skemford]

Decided to refresh my knowledge of bendy protagonists personalities/quirks and i can say that i forget how distant canon Audrey is from fanon one sometimes

Here's relatively short list with Audrey character analysis+random tibbits (environmental/gameplay/voice lines)

(I'll appreciate if someone will interact+most of it is under the cut!)

1. Her workplace is an unorganized mess

On the right side: a couple of empty teacups, empty paper sheets, unopened envelope, books/notebooks, a toy ball and keys in the middle of the desk, storyboards that are UNRELATED to what she was working on;

On the left side: donut that she kept close to her elbow & storyboards while she was drawing + to-do list for a day

There's no WAY she'll be able to keep anything tidy. If you hc her and Bendy to have a familiar bond post game, she'll be as messy if not messier. Her home might be a wreck.

2. She easily distracts

- Audrey is working overtime and claims that she has "only eight hundred more frames to go" until the next deadline

But was she actually *actively* working?

She has unrelated items on her desk (listed above) and jumps on the first opportunity to get a coffee.

If she really did wanted to have a drink, she literally has a soda machine close to her office doors.

Some brands of soda do have caffeine in them, right? Getting a coffee looks more like an excuse for a walk.

Bonus point: if you'll stay in her office without getting up (for 15 minutes), she'll acknowledge that she has no time to waste and will return to work instead.

- "Well, the coffee's good and all. But this work's gotta get done"

Worth to acknowledge: this girl has "employee of the month" award and some kind of animation award (boris statue) in her office .

Does she stays overtime everyday to finish something? Or other Archgate employees are even worse at their jobs, somehow?

3. She uses dry sarcasm or makes jokes a lot

Honestly, it happens really often and should be brought up in fan content more imo.

Due to the images limit i can't put a lot of examples with screnshoots but I'll quote some of them.

- "i think you and i have very different definitions of alright" (toward Allison)

- "Looks like he's having a bad day" (about dead lost one with the gent pipe)

- "Ok! Yeah! And that totally makes sense" (reaction to an easter egg)

- "That's one leap of faith i definitely won't make" (about the pit in animation alley)

4. Audrey gets defensive when someone starts to talk over her or when she feels overwhelmed

Audrey either will deny what was said or will acknowledge it by being sarcastic

Prominent example of this is her reaction to Memory!Joey at the hotel:

- "Oh,now you knew my father. Well, newsflash! I didn't even knew my father...or my mother. Or anyone else in my family" (after Joey says that she has "adventurous spirit of her father")

- "What? Are you crazy?... Who do you think you are?" (after the reveal of her being created by the ink machine)

+ Similar behaviour can be seen in her short interaction with Twisted Alice (Susie).

Audrey prefers to keep conversation equal between both sides and when it fails to work, she'll either stay silent or will express frustration (which can be seen with her replying "no" to Twisted Alice and not saying anything afterwards)

5. She seems to trust Allison enough to be vulnerable around her

After leaving the spider lair, she'll try to reach to Allison through the speakers

- "Alice? Are... you there?... Alice!"

She'll acknowledge that she feels scared and after Allison won't sound reassuring enough, Audrey's hand will be visibly shaking.

Allison is the only character Audrey has opened to; you'll never see her being that vulnerable with anyone else

(She is honest with Henry but not on this level)

It makes me wish they had more interactions; Allison for sure was really important in early development of the game.

6. She's blunt

Through the game Audrey is a type of person who says whatever is on her mind without hiding her intentions too much.

She's emotional and rarely thinks twice (most of her decisions are impulsive or sometimes irrational) which reflects on the way she talks.

It's often slips out through sarcasm when she gets defensive/tries to cope but it's also happens in relatively safe environment (for example, when she talks with Betty):

- "Are you...very old?" (Wilson's mansion, bedroom)

This one liner is the most random question you can say to a stranger; I doubt it was very well thought out from her side

7. Audrey easily trusts people which makes her easy to manipulate

I couldn't skip this one.

When Wilson has created a story about his "poor lost father" as a bait and Audrey did believed in this, there are multiple reasons for "why"

This either could come from her being "goodhearted" or the circumstances being used against her

- She went through whole "father trauma" in one day without being able to process anything & get proper answers:

An idea of "saving" another father (Nathan Arch) who she could've knew more than her own father (Nathan says in one tape that he meet young animators at least once) could've hit her really close to home

- Audrey never actually got a real answer on how to leave the cycle, teaming up with Wilson (who was able to enter and leave) could've looked like the only one way back

(I do acknowledge that writing in DR could've been better at places but if you do think about it in this way,it makes sense)

7.1. She is empathetic

I think that this part says everything for itself and it doesn't need to be explained. Thought, she's the one who decide if someone deserves it.

- She felt bad for hurting Bendy on accident & apologized when she was able to

- When she met Allison for the last time, she "gave" her this name, remembering that she doesn't like to be called 'Alice'

- At the end of the game she wants to try to make the cycle better for everyone.

Twisted Alice (Susie) was included which means that Audrey doesn't hold grudges against her (even with the latest one wanting to kill her previously)

8. Audrey puts her arm through an ink container without hesitation or any side thoughts

IT IS a game mechanic and lore wise you can relate it to her being an ink creature

But honestly? It's in character for Audrey.

We're talking about someone who decided to go to great lengths to catch an aquarium fish (that's kept as a pet) and wanted to use it...for a recipe.

8.1. She doesn't mind eating out of trashcans

If you think that wanting to use someone's pet for a recipe is too weird, you're actually wrong. But eating out of trashcan (when you have other options) may be.

Thought, she drives a line on a food that has flies or other insects on it (like "chocolate cake")...i guess in other cases, it's fine to her.

~~~~~~~

Trivial things:

- Bendy seems to be her favourite cartoon character.

She calls him "little guy" in prologue and keeps close to her storyboards where he's the main character:

In the cycle, she acts joyful when she first stumbles upon the real deal.

- She loves chocolate donuts

- Audrey uses dark eyeshadows (can be seen only in prologue custscene. It's hard to notice at first)

- Her breakfast from to-do list are toasts

- She has abstract Bendy painting in her office

- It can be speculated that she's uncomfortable with being touched (or with someone being physically close), unless, she's the one who initiates it

~~~~~~~~~

[hd-junglebook]

Edge of Exile

prologue

summary : this is pretty short compared to what I have in mind for the next chapters. Just some background before I get the story rolling.

The scream died in her throat as y/n jerked awake, heart pounding. The remnants of the nightmare still clung to her - the acrid smell of burning flesh, the anguished cries she released as her mother stopped breathing, the way they dragged her out of the room. She pressed a palm against her forehead, taking deep breaths to chase the images away.

It had been six years since she lost her mother, but it may as well have been last night. The nightmares never let her forget. She saw it vividly every time she closed her eyes – the operation table, the look on Abby Griffins face when all attempts to save her mother’s life failed. And her mother - her brave, stubborn mother - running back into the inferno to help others, never to return.

Y/n rose unsteadily to her feet in the cramped cell, the sound of her footsteps filling the room around her. She splashed icy water on her face from the basin, then reached under her mattress for the tattered notebook. Her fingers trembled slightly over the pages as they traced the faces - her mother's kind eyes, her best friends’ smiles.

The cold vastness of space only seemed to amplify her aching loneliness. Y/n was used to being alone, staying alert, not allowing anyone in. It was the only way to survive now.

This prison cell had been her home for the past year after she was incarcerated. Like all the prisoners aboard this dying relic, she was kept in prison station, locked away from the rest of society, labeled as a danger to herself and the citizens of the ark.

She inhaled a shuddering breath and carefully returned the notebook to its hiding place. There was another long haul to get through today. She couldn't afford to dwell on the past. The ghosts would need to wait - at least until she slept again.

A chime sounded, signaling the prisoners that it was time for breakfast. Y/n took a deep breath and steeled herself. She had survived a year in this floating tomb; she could survive another day. Keep your head down, don't cause trouble, watch your back - that was the only way.

She paused, struck by the silence. The usual morning clatter of prisoners being escorted to the eating hall was absent. She peered out into the corridor - the cells were empty. The entire block, once filled with over a hundred prisoners, was now a ghost town.

Unease crept over her. Just a week ago, these halls rang out with activity. Where had everyone gone? Her friends - Harper and Miller - had been in the cells nearby just day’s before. Now all of them had vanished.

Rumors of mass executions had spread through the cell blocks in recent days. Resources on the dying Ark were scarce, and the leadership was becoming more ruthless. But she had never believed it would actually happen to them.

Harper's 18th birthday was just a few days away. She had seen it happen to so many others before, and now it seemed like it was Harper's turn. In the society they lived in, turning 18 meant one thing - being floated.

Had her friends been marched to their deaths in the middle of the night? Where had the guards taken them? And more urgently - would she be next?

…

The loss of her mother sent y/n into a downward spiral. She became angry and reckless, no longer caring about the consequences of her actions. Her mother had been her rock, and now she was adrift.

She was left under the watchful eye of her uncle, Kane. He was one of the Council members who maintained draconian order on the Ark. y/n saw him as part of the same corrupt system that floated her father for treason.

She had overheard Clarke and Wells discussing how her father had discovered the Ark was running out of air and wanted to inform the citizens. The Council's answer had been to silence him - permanently. He was given a treason charge and floated. Y/n’s uncle being one of the few who did not vote against this decision.

After Jake Griffin’s death, she decided it was time to pick up where he left off. Enough waiting silently in the shadows. She rallied a group from Factory Station, using her uncle's connections to gain access to Council events. Spent hours strategizing and devising a plan to confront the chancellor about the dwindling resources and oxygen.

The day of the Council meeting arrived, and y/n and her followers had knocked out enough guards to sneak into the council room. She marched in with the head guard, Commander Shumway, at knife point. The Council members stumbled over their words, trying to defend their actions. In the end, they confirmed that the Ark was running out of oxygen, but they were sneaky.

The Ark Guard burst through the doors. They had gotten word that the group was holding the Council hostage. Talia never expected them to act so quickly. The guards surrounded them, weapons drawn, ready to subdue them.

Her defiance only angered Kane further. He condemned her "rebellious theatrics" and soon had her locked away, floating the rest of the demonstrators. Charged with spreading false information, the murder of two guards and inciting rebellion.

The day the executions were carried out, y/n could only watch in helpless horror as her friends were floated one by one - launched out the airlock to their deaths. She should have been with them - was ready to die alongside them. But the Guards held her back.

Instead of execution, y/n was sentenced back to solitary confinement. At first, she didn't understand why she had been spared. It made no sense. She had led the uprising, held the Council hostage, exposed their lies. By all rights, she should have been the first to die.

Being left alive was its own special torture. wracked with guilt, replaying every moment in her mind. What if she had done something differently? What if she had turned herself in so the others could get away? She would never know now. Their faces, full of fear yet resolute courage as they floated out into oblivion, haunted her.

The only explanation was her uncle. Kane's influence must have swayed the Council to stay her execution. But to what end? So she could rot in this cell, alone with her guilt and grief?

…

Y/n sat silently in her cell, gazing up at the mural she had painted on the walls over the past year. The portrait depicted a man and woman standing resolute as flames engulfed the scene around them, the Ark crumbling into ashes amidst the inferno.

The burning ark symbolizes the destruction that can be caused by our negligence and disregard for the world around us.

She had just returned from the melancholy affair of breakfast - prisoners eating alone, guards eyeing them warily. The food stuck in her throat these days. Her friends should be here breaking stale rations  with her, not lost to the void.

The slam of the cell door jarred Talia from her thoughts. She scrambled to her feet as guards entered behind her uncle, Kane. " Printer 124, Stand against the wall," they ordered gruffly, readying their shock batons.

Kane lifted a hand. "It's alright, let her be," he said. y/n slowly sank back down, watching Kane with wary eyes as he took in her mural. What did he want now? Surely not just to critique her art. The guards took up positions around the small cell standing at the doors.

"The Council has authorized me to make you a deal," Kane finally said as he clasped his hands behind his back. "About a week ago we sent some prisoners to the ground. 100 to be exact. We’ve communicated with them. There's talk of sending the exodus ship to the ground. They want you to go with the first group."

y/n’s eyes widened in surprise. Return to Earth, after all this time? Could the Council finally be desperate enough to take such a risk?

She hesitated, taking in his words. 100 prisoners to the ground the day of Harper and Millers disappearance. But if there was any possibility of life on the ground, she had to take it...for their sake.

Jaha's offer was simple - help repair the last three stations and once they reach Earth, her slate would be wiped clean, but they must be desperate if Kane was resorting to bargaining with me.

"And if I say no?" y/n challenged.

"Then you'll be floated with the rest of them," Kane said coldly.

[hobiebrownismygod]

Streetkid!Hobie x Fem!Reader - Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

I post these earlier on wattpad, the link is in my pinned post!! <3

~4.4k words

Masterlist

________________________

Hobie's POV

________________________

"I'm telling you, Ri, I saw her!"

"Stop moving!"

"Y'have to believe me!" Hobie exclaimed, squirming as Riri dabbed the scratches on his neck with rubbing alcohol before gently placing bandaids on his cuts. "Yeah, yeah, I believe you" she said with an eye roll, more focused on his wounds than he was himself. 

"Seriously, it was like I was inna dream..." he started to say, tilting his head back against the wall and closing his eyes with a dreamy sigh. "Couldn't believe m'eyes."

Riri hesitated for a moment as she pulled away from him, satisfied with her handiwork patching him up. "Are you su-"

"Are you sure it was her?" Kamala cut in, walking towards the both of them, hands on her hips with her eyebrow raised. "I mean, you haven't seen her in a decade, how can you be sure?"

"I'm telling you Kamala, it was her." Hobie said, standing up with a groan and wiping the dust off his jeans. He was covered in blood and scratches.

"uh-huh" she wasn't convinced. 

Yesterday's riot had done a number on the group. Although they'd been able to keep the protestors safe and had successfully destroyed the mansion, they'd gotten pretty banged up. Karl was in the other room taking a nap while Kamala, Riri and Hobie stitched each other's cuts and bandaged each other up. It was normal for them to be beat up after such a heavy conflict, but it wasn't doing much to boost the team's morale. Meanwhile, Hobie was over the moon at the fact that he'd caught a glimpse of that girl, even if their conversation had been a bit short-lived.

"She looked nearly the same." Hobie started again, eliciting eye rolls from both Kamala and Riri who simultaneously sighed and ignored him. "I could never forget those eyes."

"You do realize she's the daughter of a cop, right?" Riri asked him, looking over at Hobie curiously. "So? I can fix her." Hobie folded his arms over his chest with a cocky smile. "Sure you can."

"No, really! I can. I will." He was completely confident in his ability to win her over, but the girls definitely weren't. "Always the optimistic one" Riri stated under her breath, shooting a knowing smile over at Kamala.

__________________________

Your POV

__________________________

You were sprawled out on your bed, head tilted back, eyes closed shut as your mind strained to remember the fine details of what'd happened last night. After Spider-Man had warned you, it'd all been a blur. Harry grabbing your hand and pulling you out the building, Mr. Osborne's angry yelling and the appearance of his agents, the silent ride home in the taxi...but the one thing she remembered in full was that man's voice.

He sounded so calm, so sweet, his deep voice and thick accent sending a wave of comfort down her body, relaxing every racing thought as she recalled it. He'd called her 'darling'. Well, a lot of people called her darling, but this felt different. He sounded like he really meant it, like that word was more than just a term of endearment to him.

Like he really did find her darling.

No. That was impossible. He was just trying to help her out. After all, it was thanks to him that she'd gotten out of there without a scratch, saved by a quiet warning. It didn't mean anything.

She sat up, hugging her pillow to her chest as she crossed her legs with a sigh. But why did he act like he knew her? What was he whispering to himself about? Why did he warn her specifically instead of the rest of the crowd? There must've been something else behind it, some hidden reason as to why he found her well-being more important than that of the hundreds of other partygoers in the mansion.

Why did he seem so familiar?

"Ms? Are you awake yet?"

You were broken out of your mind by the sound of knocking on the door, your maid having come to remind you of the time. You groaned and fell back onto the bed, covering your face with the pillow and rolling over to the side. 7:30. It was time for you to begin your errands of the day.

"Coming!"

__________________________

Hobie's POV

__________________________

After a proper nap, Hobie found himself ready to begin his day as Spider-Man or 'superheroing' as Kamala called it, grabbing his mask before positioning himself next to the window of his room. His body still ached, covered in cuts and scratches, but it'd have to do, because F.E.A.S.T needed his help today. 

There was a huge food transport happening today, and Hobie would have to help protect it, as F.E.A.S.T trucks were often looted due to their high loads and costly materials. This supply was extremely important though, because it was nearly Christmas, meaning F.E.A.S.T's annual holiday celebration was coming up, where they hosted a huge service during which they'd provide hours worth of entertainment, food and drinks for anyone who attended. Not only did this festival lead to an increase in volunteers, but it also helped give sign up access to people who were struggling, helping employees provide them with shelter for the coming weather.

Hobie, an avid supporter of the organization that'd saved him from homelessness, attended this Christmas festival every year, both as Spider-Man and as himself, in order to keep the attendees safe and to be able to sign up to volunteer at the shelters. It was the only 'job' he'd ever had and he hoped it was the only 'job' he'd ever take. 

Although this year, a new item had been added to his list of reasons for attending. You.

He hoped that the grandness of the festival would be enough to attract your attention, despite knowing very few members of the higher class attended. Even then, a man could wish...

He jumped out the window, pulling his mask on in the process and shooting a web towards the nearest building, propelling him in the direction of the headquarters. As he swung through the city, he kept his eyes on where the officers were patrolling, where new squads had appeared, mapping everything out in his mind. It'd help him sneak past these same places later on.

The city was overrun by pigs, Osborne's goons stationed in every section of every street, especially after yesterday's riot. The officers were on high alert, pointing their guns towards Hobie's swinging figure whenever he passed by, despite knowing they wouldn't even be able to come close to harming him.

"COZZERS!" (A British slur for cops) Hobie yelled out as he passed them by. They yelled their own share of slurs at him, but he didn't pay any mind, laughing like a maniac as he swung circles around them on his way to his destination.

He loved being Spider-man.

Sure, there was plenty of responsibility, but there was also so much freedom. Being able to stand up for what you believed in, with no fear of being thrown in jail, shot, killed or worse. You could really just do whatever you wanted and nobody could stop you. Hobie always reminded himself of that.

Whenever a fight got too intense, whenever he got a little too bashed up, he would remind himself why he was doing this. For the people. It was his own little saying really, almost like a prayer he'd tell himself before he went off to do the rash, stupid things he did every day. 

For the people.

"For the people" Hobie murmured to himself, his eyes scanning the F.E.A.S.T truck that was getting ready to leave from the dock back to the shelter. As the truck left, he did too, silently swinging by its side, being careful to stay out of sight of any criminals that might've been waiting for their chance.

And then, like he'd expected...it happened.

A car swerved in front of the truck, causing the driver to slam on the brakes. He looked around with a bewildered expression on his face, shaking his fist at the car in front of him, until the goons got out, surrounding the helpless vehicle.

Hobie swung in, knocking out one of the thugs in the process, sending the others running. It didn't take long for him to gather them all up, tie them together with his webs and then send the truck on its way, following behind until it finally reached the shelter.

When he arrived, the employees cheered, happy to see their beloved hero. He was offered food, water, the usual, but as usual he refused, gave them a salute, and went on his way. Dropping by an alleyway, he changed out of his suit, and back into good old Hobie Brown, shoving his hands in his pockets and making his way back towards the shelter.

He was greeted similarly, offered high fives and water, and put to work carrying, cooking and decorating. The festival would be at the end of the week, only four days away, and there was plenty to be done. The set up had already begun, but Hobie was thrown into the kitchen for most of the day, cooking up food for the people staying in the shelter, and passing it out amongst everyone along with friendly smiles and a couple light conversations.

He made it his goal to learn the names of every person in that place, and he stayed true to it, getting to know everybody and even ending up becoming friends with some. He could relate to all these people. After all, he'd spent a good amount of time at F.E.A.S.T himself, and he knew that things could only get better from here.

Wearing a white apron and a chef's hat one of the kids had offered him, Hobie was in the process of handing out some of the last bowls of hot soup when he saw the door open. Expecting it to be another person looking for shelter entering, he ignored it, continuing to pass out the lunches. Until...he heard that voice.

"Hi, I'm here to volunteer?"

He snapped his head up, nearly dropping the ladle he had in his hand as his eyes widened. Those gorgeous eyes, that glowing skin, it was her.

He froze up as he saw one of his colleagues begin explaining things to you, handing you a sign-up sheet. He felt as thought his heart would burst when he caught your smile, the way your eyes crinkled just slightly when you laughed. He couldn't do anything but stare as you walked right past him, barely even noticing his presence.

He had to talk to you. He quickly finished handing out the bowls before he practically ripped his apron off and began walking towards you, who'd already began your work decorating the trees.

But then, he froze in his tracks.

He couldn't approach you...how could he? What if he said something weird? What if you didn't like him? What if he messed something up? No...he'd have to get your attention some other way.

__________________________

Your POV

__________________________

You were pulled into the bustle of the shelter, already part of the volunteer family despite spending so little time working. Everyone was excited to meet you, dragging you from here to there to introduce you and help you get to know the others. Everyone was really nice, happy to welcome you and excited to learn your name. You were put to work decorating the trees that were scattered around the room, mainly in the corners, hanging little globes and colorful stars on the branches, with the help of the many adorable children residing within the shelter.

You'd always wanted to work at F.E.A.S.T. You loved the idea of volunteer work and giving back to your community, but your father had never allowed you anywhere near the shelter, much less allowed you to sign up to help. He said it was a job for hippies with nothing better to do, which you heavily disagreed with.

But now, because you were older, you could do what you wanted without having to worry about him. Even if he tried to stop you, he wouldn't really be able to.

You found yourself alone as you decorated the last tree, the children who'd been accompanying you having been distracted by the promise of popsicles. You hummed quietly to yourself, gently placing a dark red ornament on one of the taller branches, getting up on your tip toes to do so.

But suddenly, you heard a noise

Thwip

You swiveled your head around, peering in the direction of the noise. Your eyes widened as you recalled where you'd heard that noise before. Standing up straight, you looked around nervously, taking a slight step back. "Show yourself!" You called out. "Don't hide! What do you want?"

Thwip

It was coming from behind you. You turned around to see the back door, just barely opened. It led to the alleyway behind the shelter. That must be where it's coming from.

As you approached the door, you hesitated for a moment. Was it really a good idea for you to be following a strange noise towards an empty alleyway? You shrugged.

Thwip

You opened the door cautiously, peering outside. Standing there, leaning against the wall, was exactly who you were expecting. "'ello, darling" he said with a wink.

"You...what are you doing here?" You asked, approaching him in awe. Maybe your suspicions were right. There was a reason behind how he'd warned you last night. Why else would he be visiting you again?

"Just wanted t'say hi to m'favorite lass" he said, stretching his arms out as he walked toward you, shoving his hands into his vest. He leaned down toward you slightly, his figure towering over yours. "We left off pretty abruptedly"

"Who are you?" You breathed out, looking up at him with a slight smile on your face, still in disbelief at the fact that he was standing there, in front of you, talking to you like he'd known you for years.

"Your friendly neighborhood Spider-man of course. Don't tell me you haven't heard of me?" He said teasingly.

"Yesterday-why-how-why did you-?" Your mind was flooded with questions, a string of horribly worded sentences flowing out of your mouth as you rambled. "Woah, calm down." He said, putting his hands up in front of him. "How 'bout I take y'somewhere quieter first? Hmm?"

He leaned in a little closer again. "I know a place where I can answer all y'questions" He looked to the side. "Maybe even get t'know each other a little more too"

"No."

He blinked at you. "No? Wha-what d'ya mean, no?" His shoulders slumped slightly and his voice went up an octave, on the verge of cracking.

"I'm not going to follow a wanted criminal to a quiet place that I've probably never even heard about" You said with a scoff. You leaned back on your heel and turned in the other direction, about to walk away, despite still being fairly curious. 

"Wait!"

You smirked to yourself and looked over your shoulder. He scrambled towards you, his lanky arm reaching out towards you, palm up. "Please. I-I need to talk to you." You looked down at his palm disinterestedly, raising your eyebrow at him. "And why would I agree to that?"

"Because I'm Spider-Man."

"What's your point?" you asked tightly, putting your hand on your hip.

He shook his head furiously, the eyes of his mask wide. "You don't understand, I need to talk to you!" His voice was a higher-pitch than before and he sounded like he was on the verge of begging, his hands clasping together.

"What do you need to talk to me about?"

"About-" he hesitated. "I just...want to get to know you" his voice turned deep again and he shrugged sheepishly, standing up straight and looking to the side, trying to seem nonchalant. What a weirdo.

Suddenly, it dawned over you. You scowled, turning away from him. "It's 'cuz I'm the Captain's daughter" you said softly, feeling your heart drop. He must've been trying to get close to you to gain more information about your father and the rest of the police force. "I can't believe you!"

His stance slackened, his eyes widening as he tried to defend himself. "No tha's not wh-"

"You want to befriend me?" You pointed at him. "Morph me into your perfect little rebel?!"

"No i jus-"

"I may not agree with the things my father stands for but I am not a spy and I am not some helpless little girl for you to mold into your servant!" You fumed, throwing your hands up in the air. He looked baffled as you turned away from him once again, ready to march back into the shelter without a second thought.

Thwip

A web caught onto your hand, and he yanked you back towards him, spinning you into his arms. You fell against him with a yelp, his arms wrapping around your waist to keep you from running away again. "Let go-" you struggled.

"Please."

You froze when you heard his voice, raspy yet soft as he desperately held you down out of the fear that you'd leave. "Please. I need to talk to you." he whispered. You looked up at him, eyes narrowing slightly as you felt a wave of guilt wash over you. "I don't even know you." You said quietly.

"Then get to know me."

You hesitated for a moment, biting the inside of your cheek in frustration. "Let go." He obliged, slowly unhooking his arms from around your waist and letting them fall limp at his sides, awkwardly watching you make a decision. 

"Ten minutes. That's all you get."

The eyes of his mask lit up and you could tell he was grinning at you from under. "You won't regret it, doll" he said with a wink, offering you his hand as he bowed forward slightly, the way a prince would offer his hand to a princess.

You reluctantly agreed and his hand engulfed yours as he pulled you into him, barely given you a moment to adjust yourself before he lifted the two of you off the ground in one fell swoop, forcing you to have to hold onto him for dear life. He was obviously enjoying your closeness and you swore you heard a deep chuckle escape his lips when you gasped, not used to the sensation of sudden acceleration.

You kept your face buried in his neck as he swung you towards this quiet place he'd spoken about, unable to say a word. Meanwhile, he was excitedly talking your ear off, telling you that he knew you'd love what he'd picked out. You couldn't help but wonder to yourself, why was he trying so hard? What did he want from you?

"You can loosen up a little, I won't drop you luv." You heard him say quietly, as if he was afraid he'd scare you if he spoke any louder. You nervously loosened your arms around his neck, giving him a little more breathing room as he tightened his grip on your waist. You looked up from his shoulder and you were awestruck.

Everything was a blur as the two of you swung faster than you'd ever gone before, your head feeling dizzy with the buildings, cars and people disappearing faster than you could see them. You didn't know how fast he was moving and you were too afraid to ask, knowing putting a number to the speed would just make the whole experience even more daunting.

And then, you felt him begin to slow down and eventually, your feet touched the ground, sinking in just slightly. Even after feeling the dirt under your feet, you kept your arms around him in fear that you would somehow still end up falling. "Uh, darling? We're here." He said softly, a smile on his face as he looked down at you. You cleared your throat as you jumped back, unhooking yourself from him. "Right."

You looked around nervously, taking in your surroundings. He'd brought you to what looked like an abandoned building, rubble everywhere and half the walls caved in. "What is this place?" You asked softly, looking around. 

The slightly disgusted expression on your face must've been obvious, because you could tell that his mood had dropped. "I...thought you'd like it." he said softly, looking down, his hands in his pockets. "It's F.E.A.S.T's old headquarters. Before it was bombed."

F.E.A.S.T's original headquarters had been bombed by supervillains a couple years ago, which was why they had moved to a place downtown, where there would be more security and less chance of another attack. 

"Oh!" Your eyes widened and a grin appeared on your face as the memories flooded your brain. This was where you'd always told people to go when you were younger. If you ever saw someone struggling or with an empty hat out in their hands, asking for money, you'd always point them in this direction and tell them that the people here would help. It was your way of helping out when your father wouldn't let you do it properly.

"I love it." You said softly, looking around the ruins. "Thank you." His eyes lit up and he approached you slightly, hands still shoved deep into his pockets as he shrugged embarrassedly. "s'nothing really." he said quietly, keeping his eyes on you as you walked towards the window, looking out with a soft sigh.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" you asked him, looking back over your shoulder at his fidgeting figure. "I...I don't know. I didn't plan this far." He admitted, looking down. You laughed, looking back out the window. "How cute."

His head perked up. "Y'think I'm cute?"

"I think the situation's...cute." You cleared your throat. "For the lack of a better word of course." you added quickly. "Yeah, yeah of course." He kicked a rock out of his way with his foot. "So...what's your name?"

"Y/N" you said, watching some of the cars on the streets below pass by, your elbow propped up on the windowsill and your hand supporting your chin. "Y/N...pretty name for a pretty lass." he said with what you believed was a smile under his mask, coming up behind you.

"Why do you want to get to me, Spider-man?" You asked, turning around and facing him, your back pressed against the edge of the window, your head having to tilt up to look at him properly. He leaned down to get to your height. "You caught my eye."

You scoffed. "That can't be true. You said you knew me." He had asked if you'd remembered him that day at the ball, and you remembered how nervous and fidgety he'd seemed. "That I did." he said softly, trying to think up some sort of excuse.

"Where did you meet me last?" His eyes widened and he looked away, swallowing. "A while ago."

"When?"

"I can't put a date to it."

"How long ago?"

"Long." He nodded. "Very long."

You groaned out of frustration, looking back out the window. "What are you hiding from me?" You asked him. He shook his head. "I'm not hiding anything."

"Then why won't you tell me when you met me last?"

"If I tell you, you'll know who I am." He leaned in over your shoulder, looking at you. "And I can't let you know who I am."

"Then why bring me here?" You looked over your shoulder at him, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "Why go out of your way to talk to me?"

He stayed silent. "What a joke." You muttered under your breath, biting the inside of your cheek.

"Because I'm in love with you."

You froze. "What?" You asked softly, looking back at him, eyes wide and jaw practically hanging open. He cleared his throat. This was not going according to his plan. "Because I'm in love with you." He repeated, tugging at the collar of his suit as he looked to the side. "I've been in love with you for years and I'm finally acting on it."

"Look, Spider-man-" You put your hands up nervously, barely able to process what he was telling you. "-I don't even know you and-"

"That's why I brought you here." he interrupted. "Because I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me."

Your breath hitched in your throat. "You're quite forward, aren't you?" You said nervously, feeling yourself get a little dizzy. Your heart was beating very fast and not in the love-sick way. You were afraid. You were stuck in an abandoned building with a strange man who you believed had been watching you. Anyone would be afraid.

"Look, I know you probably think I'm some creep-" he started, his voice sounding slightly strained as he tried to get you to see the situation from his point of view, "-but it's not like I've been watching you. I saw you once and I couldn't get over you. he said softly, his voice quieting to a whisper. 

"You've been the only thing in my mind for a long time. And that day at the ball-" he took a step towards you, "-that was only the second time I saw you and I already knew I was in love."

He noticed how nervous you seemed. "Please don't be scared." he said softly, his hand reaching out to take yours. He gently ran his finger over your palm as you looked up at him. "I swear, I just want to get to know you. I just-I just want to know who you are."

"I want to know who I fell in love with."

Tags:

@therealloopylupin2099 @spiderrinn @l0starl @daydreaming-en-pointe @itsparis-07 @vileviale @puff-hugs @s6onder

[diadianne]

Post-war Levi ramble + just thoughts in general

I've never posted on Tumblr, so forgive me if this looks weirdly formatted. These are just my thoughts after seeing the little interview Isayama did.

This was mostly sparked by the answer that the Ackermans lost their power, which is somewhat of a bummer to me, but I understand why it happened. I just dislike it when characters lose their powers at the end. Let me clarify: This is not a critique of the show because this show has literally been my obsession for the past year, lol.

Anyway, I got inspired to write this because I saw some people saying that the Ackermans were free from their powers and could be normal humans and therefore happier. I disagree with this because of my opinions on AOT post-war/rumbling.

I do not think Levi lived a happy life post-war/rumbling.

Mental Health

I've had a huge interest in mental health (for whatever reason) since I was younger and, with my past obsession (Modern Warfare II), I got really into learning about veterans, PTSD, etc. I've given presentations and done a lot of research on the topic. But, even without that knowledge, it's very easy to see that Levi has lived a very difficult life, to put it nicely.

I struggle to think that any of the remaining scouts (+ Annie) lived a decent life after. I can hardly imagine the guilt everyone felt after the rumbling. Billions of people died. Not hundreds, not thousands, not millions, billions! Innocent people, children...

Genuinely, how could someone live with that?

Of course, they didn't do it themselves, but there still are some difficult feelings alongside Eren's actions. Someone who was once a comrade/friend.

Levi has completed his purpose. Everyone who fought for the Scouts, who gave their life for the cause, made it possible for this. For Eren to destroy 80% of humanity. Just kidding, but there has to be the question of "Was it worth it? Was all the death worth it?"

"I've saved Eren's life over and over. Many of my comrades died each time. And, this is where that belief has gotten me. It's like some awful joke. Just what was that hope did we look forward to? All that hardship leads to this farce?"

Levi is questioning it all after having his hand forced to kill more of his comrades who had been turned into Titans. Even without Eren being their "hope" anymore, there was a purpose to stop Eren, a purpose to get revenge for Erwin, a purpose to protect his friends/comrades, etc.

I suppose I'm just genuinely wondering how someone could live with that level of guilt and loss. He lost everyone that really knew him. I think it is nice he stays (or at least is not alone) with Gabi, Falco, and Onyankopon, but that will never be the same as Erwin or Hange.

He went from having such a hard, busy, and difficult life to that all being done with. I think as wonderful as it sounds, it is probably hard to cope with that change. There are no more distractions.

Loss of Powers

I think Levi prides himself on being useful and strong because he had to be his whole life. He was "taken care of" by Kenny for a bit. Kenny, as seen, was very power-hungry and I am certain he definitely pushed those ideas onto Levi. Not saying that Levi is power-hungry, but maybe it pushed him to value his strength a lot. He had to be strong.

"Stay in bed? If I lie down any longer, you shits are gonna forget all about me."

I am sure more scenes would give examples of this, but I am going to stick with this one. In short, I believe that Levi, who has always been valued for his strength, would have a difficult time living with his new "weakness," especially with his leg damaged, lack of eye, and two missing fingers.

Post-war Climate

Yeah, sure. "Peace." The ending shows that there were still tensions, therefore war, and then death. A repeating cycle of hate. I mean, killing 80% of humanity? It was 1000000% easier to call the Eldians devils. Now, those devils have no power or "threats" to keep others away. The tensions inside of Paradis must have been insane as well.

Even if the destruction of Paradis happened 80-100 years after the rumbling (I'm not sure of the actual time), I doubt with every fiber of my being that things were just "chill" after the rumbling.

So... no, I doubt he lived a peaceful life. A peaceful life where tensions are high with the remaining bits of humanity, the world, and many of its resources, culture, and history are destroyed, and he is unable to do anything about it.

As an American, I relate it to the experience of being a citizen. It genuinely feels like watching something go horribly wrong but you cannot do anything about it because you're too exhausted trying to keep yourself alive and well. But, this is a rant about post-war AOT so I'm not going to go into American politics/issues lol.

I shortened my thoughts a bit because I get way too into topics. I hope this doesn't come out jumbled and makes some sense. I definitely need to rewatch season 4 (I just keep stopping after three because it makes me sad lol).

I want Levi to live a peaceful and happy life, but, in my personal opinion, I do not believe he did or could. If he did, he definitely has the title of "Humanity's Strongest" for a reason.

[where-dreamers-go]

Hi, Erica! I was wondering if I may request a Dick Grayson imagine where the Reader and him know each other from school, and while the Reader is at a soda shop or something Batman and Robin show up. They recognize his voice but is confused when they see Robin instead and Robin gets nervous because he can see them figuring it out. So maybe Batman has to intervene?

(A/N: Hehehehe. But also: gosh darn, time to put the pen to work because I don't shut up about fandom ideas. Hi!

Also: Ah, crap. It was supposed to be an imagine??? Uh, for now this imagine is complete. Might add a part 2 or something.)

~~~

"Soda For Your Thoughts" Dick Grayson x Reader

On a weekday, the best time of day was after school. No question about it. The brain finally had a break from the hours worth of information intake.

The time between school's last bell and the start of homework was sacred. Short and full of possibilities. Anything could happen in Gotham City.

°.•*

Speeding down the open road into the city was more than business, it was important to the citizens. Arriving to a local soda shop for clues was top priority. The Penguin was up to his foul deeds again.

Without knowing what the tricky bird was up to, the dynamic duo were on their way to find out just that.

Time was ticking, but Robin always had faith that he and Batman could figure it out.

°.•*

You were due for free time. It was only fair. Most of your mornings were spent leaning over a desk with a pencil in hand. Not much choice in that.

Sipping a cold soda did just the trick. It also gave you moments to process your day. The sweetness seeming to light up your day.

"Looks like there are plenty of eyes here." A familiar voice grasped your attention.

Dick Grayson, you thought. A smile pulled at your lips before you fully looked towards the entrance in search of the well-dressed student.

Your excitement upon expecting the boy from class dropped. Who you saw instead was the famed Batman and Robin. The pair stepped with purpose.

What? But I heard him.

How could it be? Were you mistaken?

Your shoulders slumped.

The owner of the soda shop met the caped heroes in a poorly hushed tone. Not that you could blame him. The Penguin had visited not too long ago, but not for a tasty beverage.

Good thing there was no ill intent given to any of the customers, you included.

"Hmm." You grabbed for your drink again, but his voice interrupted.

"Excuse me." Robin walked up to you. "Did you see the Penguin when...he...." He swallowed.

Curiosity had struck you. Not only was the young hero's voice familiar, but his masked face was strikingly like someone you knew. Not a face one passed in the halls. Not brown hair combed just so by anyone.

"Uh." Robin stood still. Watching you study him unabashed.

Blue eyes decorated by black. Intelligent eyes you'd seen before. Ones you would never forget in a hundred years.

"Batman." He said and nothing more. Pivoting on the floor, yellow cape swishing.

The called caped crusader turned and walked over to the younger man. "What is it, Robin?"

You blinked, head tilted sightly.

His eyes, you thought. Those were the same wide eyes looking at me when I said I aced the pop quiz last week.

°.•*

Holy flipping stomachs, Robin thought. His eyes trying to focus on anything else in the shop as he pretended not to notice. Trying his best to act professional. To be Robin not Richard Grayson.

What such luck did he have?

Rotten luck.

Your gaze burned into the side of his cranium even as Batman asked you for any useful information. No doubt you had some.

In school you were always attentive and observant. That surely meant you would be helpful with the new case, but the way you looked at him...as if his mask was barely on his face.

You talked, but Robin couldn't make out your words between the sounds in the shop and his mind. White noise of panic.

Holy multitasker, he thought as he chanced a quick glance over his shoulder. Rubbing his gloved fist, he couldn't help his anxiety.

What if you knew?

A light clap to his shoulder and Robin flinched.

"Easy there, old chum." Batman chuckled. "We might just have our next clue."

"That's great." His words closer to a murmur.

"Everything alright?"

Blinking and hitting his opened palm with his fist, Robin bounced back. "We have a lead. Let's go." Without delay, the young man scurried out of the shop.

Relief hit him as soon as he was in open air. Making a quick jump into the Batmobile was easy. The look Batman set him with, not so much.

"What is it, Batman?"

"You couldn't talk to your schoolmate. How come? You've done it before."

"Not with them," Robin said much too quickly. "I--they just... I felt like they saw me. No mask--no anything!"

"Easy, Robin. I saw it too. We'll have to come up with something if they question you."

Groaning, Robin slouched in his seat.

"But for now." He buckled his seatbelt. "We have a Penguin to capture."

"Right!"

[sunflowersandcherryblossoms]

The character everyone gets wrong?

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

9. Worst part of canon?

The character everyone gets wrong?

Oh boy... Let me be a bit controversial here, even towards my mutuals, probably:

Kuchiki Byakuya!

Because it's very easy to say "Oh, but only what appears on the Manga is really canon" and ignore that all of it, even the fillers and omakes leave an impression on us...

And Byakuya is seen by the majority of fandom as this cold, stoic, arrogant man and he's just...not?!?

First and foremost Kuchiki Byakuya is so Autistic coded it's not even funny. Some people don't see him as such because people forget autism is a fucking spectrum!

Many people think only about Rain Man and such as a general portrayal of autism on adults.

Byakuya is for me on the high functioning side of the spectrum, but damn it if I don't look at the man and go "He's like me for real!".But then again no one believes I'm autistic either so ... There's that.

Also, he's trained himself to be always in control of his emotions, but if you paid any attention to TBTP, you know deep down inside he's got a short fuse.

He's also a lovable dork who takes things too literally, as issues with social clues, relating to others, hyperfixates on his OC, Wakame Taishi and become hyper protective of his sister the second that switch flicks in his mind that sometimes rules really suck!

Many people don't truly develop his personality beyond the Shinigami and the Head of the Clan and make him bland and boring.

Sure, write your fanfictions with him being stoic and closed off in his professional life and with people that aren't part of his inner circle, but give him a fucking personality in his mire private and intimate moments!

Also, — and this is a pet peeve of mine...— stop writing that man as the dominant person in his relationships!

He's a Captain and a Head of the Clan! Let that man relax and give control over to his partner (I'm taking about Ichigo here... We all know I cannot and will not ship these two with anyone else but eachother...)

Let the man learn how to do things that canon keeps telling us he can't do!

Let him be the opposite of what everyone else expects when he's at home.

Okay... Done with Byakuya.

Now on for question number 7.

Hisana!

Fucking Hisana!

I cried when I saw the episode with Byakuya telling her story to Rukia. I liked her as a plot point.

But man oh man... It's always the fandom, isn't it?

"Oh, she was perfect and they were truly in love with each other..." No.

"You don't understand! She was suffering! That's why she abandoned Rukia!" Listen... I tried taking my emotions out of it and consider culture and history, but I just can't excuse abandoning a baby.

There's a space of a hundred years between Hisana and Rukia dying in the World of the Living and her marriage to Byakuya.

(did I say I was done talking about Byakuya? I lied...)

She lived in Inuzuri for all that time, apparently. We have zero info on what she'd been doing, how they met, but it's kinda implied she either didn't really look for Rukia for years or she's just really bad at tracking down a child that looks exactly like her and becomes knows on their specific Rukon district for being kinda gangster...

"Byakuya should have died because he had no reasons to live for as a widower..."

I'M SORRY... WHAT THE FUCK?

And here's the fucking thorn in my side with her character: She's used as an anchor around Byakuya's feet.

Fandom denies him a life, because apparently you should be faithful forever to a dead person. You should entomb yourself in life and only live to mourn them forever.

No more laughter for you, sir... No more joy... No more love... No nothing.

You're sanctifying a plot device character that has no presence in the actual story of Bleach.

And now.... Drum roll...

Question 9:

The award for Worst Part Of Canon goes to:

The fucking ending!!!

Ichi//hime...

Boxer Chad...

Doctor Uryu...

Translator Ichigo...

Dropout Inoue...

Antichrist Kazui...

And the fucking new Hell Arc...

Like....

Excuse me???

No. Just no...

And let's not forget erasing everyone's character growth in one sweep by showing us that EVERYONE allowed for the new Sokyoku Hill Execution Scaffold to be built...

It's like we walked this path for absolutely nothing!

[gojo-enthusiast]

Chapter Eight — Will You Make Love To Me? (Mature)

Master Zenin - Toji Fushiguro Series — Reblog & Like

Chapter Eight

“Please have these washed, and dried. For now, is there anything we can wear?” Toji says to the attendant. “Ah yes sir, we have this night gown for the lady, and we found these cotton shorts, unfortunately sir we have no undergarments.” The women bows, giving him the clothing. “This will do. Thank you.” He nods, shutting the bedroom door.

You stepped out of the shower drying yourself off. You hear a knock on the bathroom door, you hear the rough sounding man— “I was able to secure you a nightgown, but no panties.” You open the door, seeing the sheer cotton white gown. “Thank you.” You say, grabbing it and shutting the door. You pull the gown over your head, your curls loosely fallen over your shoulders, over your breast reaching down all the way to your lower back. You never really paid much attention to your hair, and were surprised to see how long it had gotten, the ends nearly at the crack of your bottom. You hear the bathroom door slowly open— “Hey, are you hung-“ toji begins to say, before his breath hitched in his throat, seeing the raw sight of you, freshly washed curls, skin not covered with anything, the slight acne scars that rested on your chin, with a light hint of redness but not to noticeable. And the way the gown was loose fitting, but he could see the color of your areola’s through the sheer white cotton, and as his eyes traveled down, he saw the hair of your womanhood.

He knew you weren’t one to keep up with that, because you just weren’t that kind of girl. You of course would trim yourself in your woman regions because you wanted to feel clean, but he was so used to the other women he had seen, completely taking off anything that could be considered dirty, hairy, gross, in the eyes of a man. While you, simply were yourself. He loved that about you, as he’s staring at you, admiring the beauty that you are, his heart was beating so fast. “Toji?” You interrupt his thoughts. “Hmm?” He hums, forgetting what he even was in here for. You take this as your opportunity to question him, “do you love me?” You ask, no hesitation. “Yeah I do.” He answers, looking at you through the mirror. “Why?” You continue to ask— “You are just you.” He says, clearing his throat. “Why do you want to marry me?” You ask this question with a shaky voice. “Because I don’t want to ever love anyone else but you.” He says, finally he can no longer hold himself back. He spins you to him, and pushes his lips onto yours, grabbing you by your waist, pulling you in. He swipes your bottom lip with his tongue, wanting to ask for permission to go deeper, you oblige. It’s almost as if you both were eating each other alive, the way you both deepened your passion, your lips, so much so, that you both were swallowing each other’s breath. You both pull away catching your breaths. In a swift movement, he’s is picking you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He is attaching his lips onto yours again.

“Fuck I love you.” He’s groaning, you felt yourself heating up, your womanhood tingling. “T-Toji?” You are breathing heavy, trying to catch your breath. “Y-yeah?” He questions, catching his breath as well. “Can you show me that you love me?” You whisper into his ear.

You had never been this bold, you knew where this was going, you knew that you couldn’t not love this man, the man who ordered hundreds of thousands of people to be slaughtered, so he could have power in this nation. You knew why he did it, you even understood, but it didn’t change the fact that it was wrong. Yet you couldn’t control how you felt, this was a man you had loved from the moment boys caught your eyes. You were 12, and had just started your period for the first time, that’s when you met Toji, and you swore he was the most beautiful creature you had ever seen. You were just a child, yet you blushed when he would pat your head and ask you how was school? Or when you were 15 and he took you to your school dance because no one asked you to go with them. Or when you were 17, and you were at his apartment while he was looking over files for a case he had in a couple of weeks. While you did your homework beside him, it was days like that where you would sit there after you had finished, and watched as he bit the inside of his cheek, or bit off the skin of his lips, so focused that he didn’t notice the hole on his face that had burned through from your eyes staring so intently. You had loved this man from the moment you saw him, he was your first love, and at this very moment, he was your first everything. You couldn’t push him away anymore, he was all you wanted, even if they meant wanting a man who when he dies, he would be in the underworld, becoming a demon. At least that was your beliefs.

“It’s okay to touch you?” He asks, staring into your eyes as he’s hovering over you. For such a big, aggressive, rough man— he was so gentle with you. “Yes. Make love to me Toji.” You say, kissing his jawline. He didn’t say anything, he smiled, and started sucking on your neck, leaving his love marks as a reminder of who you now belong to. He lifted you up, pulling the night gown that you have only had on for 10 minutes, right off of you. He began sucking down your neck to your breast, sucking your nipples, teasing the other one with his hands. “T-Toji.” You groan, trying to pull away. “Hmm? You ok?” He says looking up, still sucking on your nipple. “There’s not much there, th-that can’t possibly be something you like.” you moan out— “They are perfect to me, will you let me continue showing you my love?” He says as he lightly bites at your nipple. “Agh— y-yes.” You moan out, after a minute he starts licking down your chest to your stomach, feeling all your curves, he started lighting groping and pawing your stomach. He loved the excess skin, and the little belly you had started to get because he was feeding you well. He finally got to where you needed him the most.

“Toji- just put it in. I haven’t shaved.” You say covered yourself with your hands down there. “Mm no, I much prefer it like that.” He says as he rubs the little hairs on your womanhood. “Leave your fingers all you want, I’m tasting you.” He says, spreading your legs, and sticking his tongue in between your fingers, tasting your wetness. “Agh- To-jiii.” You moan out, throwing your hands up in defeat. He smirks, diving in deeper, sucking and licking every spot, wanting to know your taste, which he quickly got addicted. He muttered how sweet you tasted, as he pushed his tongue into your tight virgin hole, while his thumb lightly circled your clit. You felt the pit of your stomach tighten. You had never touched yourself or been touched so this new found feeling was strange. “T-Toji, stop stop stop.” You say pulling his hair, trying to pull him off. There was no budging, he was quickening his pace, knowing that your release was coming quickly. “Toji, oh my god! Pl-please stop. I’m gonna pee.” You’re inhaling air, feeling like you’re about to burst. “Mmm.” He moans into your cunt, sticking his tongue into your hole that he had stretched as much as he could, he was rubbing your clit at an ungodly pace, so fast but lightly pressing on it. It had sent shivers all around your body, you were shaking and almost convulsing in pleasure, bucking your hips without realizing it, and you snapped, you not only had your creamy juices leaking from your hole, but you had squirted all over his face. Throwing your head back, moaning loudly, almost as a yelp. “T-TOJI, I- AGH, I CANT.” The noises from your mouth were vulgar, erotic, disgusting. And Toji was loving every second of it. He was bathing in your juices, licking you from your hole, to your clit. Causing you to shake as you came down from your orgasm.

“Toji-to- I’m so sorry.” You cry out, he sees the tears coming down your cheeks. “Why are you sorry?” He questions, coming up to your face, planting soft kisses on your lips. “I pissed all over your face!” You cry out, “Baby doll, you didn’t piss. That’s natural, you squirted baby. Did it feel really good?” He says, kissing your cheek where your tears were going down. “It felt so-so good.” You moan out, as he’s slipping a finger into your drenched hole. “Good, I want my baby to feel good.” He says, thrusting his finger slowly into your heat. Stretching you out, causing a whimper to escape your lips.

“Hey doll?” He half questions, “mmhmm?” You moan. “I’m gonna put it in, but it’s gonna hurt. I need you to hold onto me, and just bear with me, aight?” He says, as he pulls down his shorts.

His throbbing cock had already had pre-cum dripping.

[oonajaeadira]

Hello! Absolutely no obligation at all to answer this, you just seem really lovely and approachable. Any words of advice you would be willing to share for someone who sort of just arrived here accidentally because they are chronically behind the times and didn’t realize there was a bandwagon and is now utterly terrified to interact anywhere in the fandom lest they make a problem worse and/or get lumped in with the portion of the bandwagon that is…erm, overboard and a bit scary?

(Which isn’t to say you or anyone else is being intimidating on purpose of course. Everyone seems lovely, the anxiety is just REALLY committed to winning this round.)

(Second add-on before I forget, your writing is absolutely bloody brilliant by the way. Thank you for sharing it with us!)

Hello you lovely, lovely, lovely human. <3

Breathe and stick close, honeybee. This is a good corner of the fandom....at least from where I'm sitting.

To be totally honest, I know that there's a lot of horror in the fandom, but I've actually not seen a lot of it with my own eyes. That's because when I landed here, I basically just kinda sat and observed folks for a hot second, started writing, and let friendlies come to me. If someone or the mutuals they would interact with seemed like a lot of drama, I mainly steered clear. My best friends here mostly approached me and were kind and gentle and funny and respectful to the man we all love. And because of that, I've pretty much just curated a really lovely corner of the fandom for myself.

As someone who deals with anxiety and depression though, I get you. Coming into a place where there are SO MANY of fans and cliques and strong friendships feels intimidating...like starting at a new school/job. There's really no short answer though. Like anything else, settling in and finding your folks and your path takes a little time.

You seem to be doing alright so far though...you marked me as someone safe to approach. So your powers of observation are working! Good start! 😄

But nobody's going to assume you're one of the scary ones right off the bat. Being kind and offering up a bouquet of niceness (like you did in your ask) opens the door up real quick.

So my question for you is...where do you want to live in this fandom? Are you a fic writer? A gif maker? An artist? A reader? A reblogger? If one of the first three, then start creating, kitkat! Learn how to tag your stuff and those who love it will find you! If you're a reader, I guarantee the fastest way to spread goodwill and make artists start to recognize your callsign and appreciate you is by reblogging and commenting on their work. I can't emphasize that enough--creators don't get paid for their work here. They share their creations in exchange for interaction and community. They want to scream joyfully about the fandom with other fans. Please, for the love of Pedro, come scream with us!

And that, my friend is what you bring to the table.

That's all you have to do. Openly share joy. Do it by sharing your art/stories/talents or by sharing the work of others and your love of it. And if you happen to share your joy with someone but don't receive it back from them, then you've found someone who may not be worthy of your collection of the fairest folk. That's okay. There are a hundred more who will acknowledge your joy. Turn around and you'll walk right into them around here.

But if you have anxiety, it's okay to go slow. Starting on anon is good, helps you get some practice in before you're ready for your debut. Just remember what my buddy @insomniamamma says..."the anon button is not for hate. It's for horny and embarrassed about it."

You'll get over the embarrassment soon enough once you realize we're all pretty horny (including sappily horny for fluff and romance) around here. Don't judge yourself for it. We sure won't!

Post some joy. Reblog some work with an "I love this!" Join in an ask game. All of those are loved around here.

And do it on your own terms. Take the time you need.

Nobody's gonna think you're one of the overwhelming ones, love. They'll just think you're one of the thirsty ones. And that's nothing to be ashamed of once you realize that you're no different from everyone else in your new favorite corner of the fandom.

(gif by damerondjarin)

[maple-the-awesome]

We'll Meet Again...I Know When || Chapter 28

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN Reader

Words: 3,252

Overview: Given your old-fashioned personality and obsession with all things 1940s to 1980s, it’s no wonder that most people refer to you as an ‘old soul’ who would’ve rather lived back then than in the modern era. Little do they know, you already did, but with your previous life as Hollie Stark cut short, you’ve been left with some…unfinished business, to say the least. Top of your list? Finally getting to marry your thought-to-be-lost fiancé.

Series Masterlist 🤎 Marvel Masterlist 🤎 Fandom Masterlist

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: LEFT ON READ

You hate the sun and its terrible habit of waking you up every morning. Sure, it can be a nice natural alarm when you want to walk up early, but believe it or not, sometimes you actually like sleeping in, especially after such an...'eventful' night.

You're not entirely certain what the exact time is right now. The sun's light appears relatively dim, so it must be sunrise or at least no later than seven. Normally, you'd have plenty of time to be lazy then if this were one of your days off, however prior promises were unfortunately made, requiring your presence elsewhere during the youngest hours of today.

Now while half of you is tempted to become conveniently forgetful of such arrangements, you're also aware that doing so would be a dangerous game. You have a perfect record of being trustworthy, thus your absences would no doubt cause concern. Concern leads to questions and questions lead to investigations which may produce rather embarrassing results in the case that anyone were to stumble across you in this position: completely nude aside from a thin comforter draped over half your body with an equally compromised man lying fast asleep beside you. What a meaningless yet annoying scandal that could cause particularly if your poor brother were to find out. He'd likely have a heart attack once realizing his dear little sister carries more of that troubling Stark charm than he anticipated.

It's a struggle to make a proper decision: roll the dice or play it safe? Honestly, you could go for either the more you dwell here. You do adore how peaceful Bucky looks as he sleeps, his lips slightly parted for each breath and hair not as neatly maintained as he typically keeps it (although your fingers might be to blame for that).

Come to think of it, this is the first time you've ever seen him in such a vulnerable state. You've fallen asleep around him before, usually after long nights waiting at the lab, however there's never been a situation where he has risked drifting off himself. Forever the gentleman, Bucky would refuse any overnight stays at your apartment, fussing over how 'inappropriate' it would be and how 'rumors would swirl', but you've longed deciphered that glimmer of desire in his eyes during each of those conversations. Although a gentleman, he's still a man completely infatuated with his gal. All he needed was a little push - a reminder that the feeling is very much mutual meaning there's no reason for dancing around the bush.

There was no hidden motivation or even a plan, in fact you're not hundred percent sure why things went the way they did last night. Perhaps you wanted to express your relief over your boyfriend having survived his latest dangerous mission. Maybe it was because of those drinks at the bar and how well they paired with Bucky's flirtatious whispers against your ear. Or it could've simply been something you've put off for far too long until you were no longer strong enough to set aside the temptations you feel everyday with this man you consider yourself so lucky to have...That would be a very suitable explanation...

To put it short, you had a veeery good night. Bucky didn't leave any question as to how much he loves you, reminding you more times than you could count between each pant and moan. The bliss remains even now, lingering in your thoughts as you finally make up your mind and cuddle closer to his sleeping form. Fuck working in a lab or training for another mission. You've both sacrificed so much for this damn world already, the least it can do is give you these seconds in return; to let you soak up this joy and hope for the future.

You can't wait to finally be wed, almost tempted to just jump the gun yet again by waking Bucky up and dragging him down to the nearest courthouse. Surely, he'd have no true objections, after all, the sooner he can call you his wife, the sooner you can both drop this act of pretending you can actually survive even a second without each other nearby at all times.

.

.

.

...If you had gone with your heart then, would anything have changed? You often find yourself overthinking that sort of stuff especially during the mornings where you just stare up at your ceiling feeling particularly empty inside. If you had married Bucky sooner, would he have been more careful? If you begged enough, would he have even gone that day? Hell, in your worst moments, you whimper at the thought of never having existed as (Y/n) in that case. Assuming that your purpose for remembering Hollie is to be with Bucky, maybe there wouldn't have been any need for it had you accomplished the task in the 40's...Although, anymore, you're convinced that isn't the actual purpose for these cursed, lingering memories...

If your regrets from the past make you feel bad, then thinking about (Y/n)'s exact purpose makes you feel even worse. Are you sure you're meant to be with Bucky romantically? It doesn't seem like the universe is setting that up. Him 'dying', you actually dying, all the current turmoil between (Y/n) and him now...sometimes you're convinced you were never meant to be his lover, in this life or Hollie's. Maybe you're just supposed to make amends somehow or maybe this is all just some cruel game life's playing to torture you; the universe didn't expect you to find Bucky again and now it's punishing you for changing destiny's course.

Your thoughts wander so far that you almost miss the sound of your phone buzzing in the corner. Turning away from the window you've been mindlessly staring out of for the last hour, you place your coffee mug on the table and exchange it with the device.

"...Hey."

"Wow. Nice to see that someone actually answers their phone," If only Sam knew you just spent a few seconds debating whether to pick up or not.

"Yeah, I've noticed that when your friend group consists largely of 'superheroes', they're usually pretty difficult to get a hold of. You just happened to call the one normal person with no social life," It's said as a joke, although deep down, it doesn't feel like one, "What's wrong? You piss everyone else off?"

"No...just Bucky apparently. He's been ignoring me like some kind of plague. 'won't call back or nothing."

"Welcome to the club," You roll your eyes bitterly while reaching for your mug again.

"He's ignoring you, too?" The annoyance from Sam's voice is dropped and quickly replaced with genuine surprise, "How'd that come about? You guys are practically attached to the hip from what I've seen! Even when a whole ocean apart, weren't you guys always going on 'Zoom dates' or something? Hell, I think you were making Steve jealous there, stealing his best friend..."

Sam trails off slightly and you imagine he visibly cringes over having brought up the topic. While he doesn't quite know exactly how you feel about it, he does remember how awfully distant you were after Steve went back in time. Rumor even has it that you both had an argument over the matter (not that Sam was eavesdropping or anything). Since then, he's avoided mentioning Steve around you. The way he sees it, if he's been having a hard time with the changes that came with your mutual friend's decisions, surely you're still feeling the burn yourself. You did know Cap a lot longer than himself.

Fortunately, you don't react openly to the topic nor do you comment on it much to Sam's relief. You merely focus on his previous line of questioning instead, "We're, uh...on break at the moment, I suppose you could say."

"Damn...What happened?" It's probably not his place to ask, seeing as neither of you have spoken much in the months following the Snap, however he can't ignore his own curiosity and worry.

Sam might not like Bucky and admittedly, he's never had the chance to properly befriend you seeing that your paths usually only cross when your lives are in danger, but he'd be a fool not to see how whipped the two of you have always seemed for each other, in fact last he hear through the grapevine, you were practically living together with some of your other friends placing bets on whether you're supposed to be secretly married or not. With that said, it's concerning to learn your relationship has apparently fallen apart within such a short amount of time.

You inhale through your nose heavily, finally bothered by one of his questions, although you don't completely shy away from it. You just take your time answering while fiddling with the bracelet on your wrist, "...Steve...told you about all the Hollie stuff...right?"

.

.

.

"...Bucky...I'm Holiday Stark..."

Your blood feels cold, body shaking even as you force yourself to maintain eye contact with him, desperately yet hopelessly wishing you could read his mind since his outward reaction gives you so little to work with.

He doesn't mock amusement like Natasha did. He doesn't get angry like Steve. He doesn't show increasing annoyance like Tony...He stares. He simply stares at you, eyes difficult to decipher, although that slight tremble of his lips and the whimper-like sound that he tries unsuccessfully to swallow aren't.

"...J-James?" You're beginning to panic, realizing just how sick he suddenly appears - face pale and blank with shock. This is exactly what you were afraid of. Regardless of his promises, those vows were spoken while believing you to be someone you're not - someone truthful and perfect. Until now, you've only been (Y/n), a life that brought upon no complicated feelings nor gave him any reason to look twice. In his eyes, mere seconds ago, you could do nothing to change that perspective, however it turns out he was just lacking the proper imagination to understand a scenario where you could...the same scenario you've landed yourselves in now.

When Bucky drops your hand - one you forgot he was holding given how limp his grip had gone - a wave of emotions overtake you before you can push them away again.

At first glance, you’ve always seemed good at playing things off and pretending you’re unfazed, a ‘picture of maturity’, as some have said. It helps that you’re usually able to sweet talk yourself out of stuff, utilizing that Stark-charm to either leave everyone speechless or on your side, but for some reason your mouth feels dry and your brain fuzzy. You felt this way when letting the others in on your secret, but not to this extent. Staring back at Bucky, feeling your world of lies and secrets crumble down on top of you in a crushing weight, you feel too terrified to think because deep down, despite all this ‘incredible’ reincarnation stuff, you’re still just an ordinary human who’s scared shitless to lose the one thing who makes you feel just that: human.

"I-I can prove it! Ask me anything! Ask me any question only Hollie could answer - something only she'd know a-and I'll know it, too! I swear! Bucky, I promise. You know me. I'd never lie about anything like this! I'd never do anything to hurt you -!" You cry in an avalanche of words moving so quickly that you can barely keep track of them. You reach towards his hand, called to feel comfort by his touch again like an injured child would their mothers, yet he pushes himself away, inching further towards the other end of the couch until his back hits the arm. With him, he takes your shattered heart.

"...I believe you," He whispers after a moment, although his voice isn't consoling. He spits out the claim while actively avoiding eye contact, his primary focus being on that silver ring around your finger which always seems fond of taunting him by the way it so easily catches in the light.

...He knew when he first saw it. He would know that ring anywhere. It wasn't yours - at least that's immediately what he had thought back then. 'That's Hollie's ring,' he wanted to point out, perhaps even demand it back. That's his doll's ring - the only one he thought was worthy of being on her finger. To him, it was only ever a design, but after HYDRA, Bucky had made sure to research Hollie’s life and countless pictures of her proved she had the ring made exactly as he had imagined it. It looked identical to the one you wear.

He thought he was going crazy, yet it still kept him up for nights afterwards, wondering what excuses could explain its location on your finger, in the twenty-first century no less. You could’ve found it or perhaps Steve gave it to you as a gift. Sometimes Bucky even felt nauseous at the thought that maybe - just maybe - you were a descendant of Hollie. She didn’t remarry (he checked), but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have had lovers. Hell, it wasn’t like he was entirely out of the question himself. They did...do it together, not to mention he was never quite certain what your relationship with Tony was.

…Of course, none of those reasons felt quite right. As upset as he may be with Steve, Bucky doesn’t believe he’d give anyone a version of Hollie’s ring at least without approval first. He asked you about your relationship with Tony once, breathing in a sigh of relief when you confirmed Stark to be a friend after only some hesitation Bucky didn’t second guess at the time because in that moment, he’d rather gloss over such a detail and just be thankful he hasn’t been attracted to his grandchild or anything like that this whole time.

Bucky never asked you. He never even drew attention to the ring while in your presence aside from sometimes letting his thumb run over it when holding hands or cuddling. He decided to conclude that maybe he wasn’t that original after all and that a very similar design was later made for the general public. It had nothing to do with Hollie. It was just a coincidence he didn’t need to bother you with. That was the extent of Bucky’s investigative thinking which makes him feel incredibly stupid now.

This whole time…Nine years…For nine fucking years, it’s been you. All those complex and private details you knew about his life - things even he couldn’t remember himself. The way you always seemed so comfortable around him as if you were facing a dear friend, not a monstrous killer. How close Steve and Tony were to you. Your smile and laughter...Your weird yet adorable habits…Your bad habits…Your jokes…Your manner of speaking…Your manner of teasing…Your eyes…It always felt so familiar - like looking into the past through warped glass yet never did Bucky think in a million years it would be you - that it would be Hollie looking back at him the whole damn time.

“...Bucky please…P-Please just talk to me,” You plead in a whimper, your hands frozen in front of you as you struggle to decide how to address this. In fairy tales, this would be the joyful moment everyone’s been waiting for. Two lovers reunite against all odds before living happily ever after together, but this is real life. Perhaps fairy tale endings happen occasionally for those lucky folks the universe actually likes, but for you - for (Y/n) and Hollie - you’ve never known what that kind of ending could feel like. You’ve only ever been given teasing tastes of it just to be led down a dark hole to moments like this - moments of heartache.

“I…I need to go.”

You suck in a breath when Bucky suddenly stands straight, your entire body feeling as if it’s going through its own personal earthquake, “O-Okay…Okay, um…I’ll, uh, I-I’ll just give you some sp-space then…”

Your voice squeaks and you try to sniff, yet that does nothing to stop the burning in your nose nor the tears in your eyes. You curse yourself for crying in front of him, still more concerned about what kind of guilt it might give him rather than worrying about your own emotions…Maybe because you’ve long convinced yourself that you deserve it and that you’re used to it…

Bucky hesitates there, almost looking down at you, however he knows by your sniffle that if he does that, this will only be made a lot harder for you both. So, with hurried footsteps, he slips on his boots and leaves the apartment in silence aside from the slam of the door, the whirling of the box fan, and your cries that soon break through.

.

.

.

"...Do you think I'm crazy Sam?"

"Yes," His answer is prompt, although his voice grows soft for the next part, "You gotta admit, it's an insane story: 'Girl who was somehow magically reborn with all her past memories eventually meets her past life's boyfriend and BOOM! They're in love in this life, too!' …Sounds like a bad fanfiction."

“I don’t know if you can say we're ‘in love’ anymore…At least not mutually…” You mumble dejectedly before groaning and running a hand over your face, "...I should've never gotten involved with him - with anyone for that matter. It would've been easier for them all if Hollie just stayed dead instead of forcing them to dig her back up again -”

"- Now I wouldn't necessarily say that. Sure, it’s probably not the easiest pill to swallow initially, I mean, I saw firsthand how pissy Steve was around you that day, but didn’t you see how happy he was afterwards? Put yourself in his shoes. He was torn away from the life he knew best into the modern century with basically nothing until you came along. You were his friend then - someone who could understand fairly well what he had to go through. Your relationship was special because of that. I reckon it was the same for Stark. He had to have been pretty little when Hollie died, right? I don't know about him, but if my aunt was murdered, I'd want some form of closure. No better way to get that than her showing up in a different life, happy and safe."

Sam has a point. Tony mentioned the guilt he had suffered for years thinking it was somehow his fault Hollie died. Coming back as (Y/n), you were able to assure him how much you’ve always loved him and how he wasn’t at fault for what happened. He never avoided the topic of his late aunt again and threw a huge birthday party for himself the next year…

"Do me a favor and try not to beat yourself up over this too much, alright? We've already gone through enough shit as it is. I'm sure Bucky will come around eventually like Steve and Tony did, just give him some time for it to sink in. It's a lot to come to terms with, after all, especially probably for him of all people. You were...you know?"

You nod as if Sam could see it, “...I just hope he doesn't take too long, not for my sake, but for his own. Bucky isn't like Steve or Tony. He isn't the type to simply walk away and let stuff roll off his shoulders either. He's overthinking this - I know he is. He’s letting it dig into him like he's done something wrong when all of the blame is mine alone. I’m the one who lied to him. I’m the one who kept this a secret…I wish he could just understand that…”

NEXT CHAPTER ->

<- PREVIOUS CHAPTER

[trikruismybitch]

PROMPTS

* "your scared aren’t you? Your entire life you’ve broken and done what you want to people but now that you finally realize someone can do it to you and you're terrified."

* “ I love all of you. Even the parts that you believe are too dark and too shameful. Every scar. Every flaw. Every imperfection. I love you. “

* “To truly love another person is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them. And that’s it. That’s All.”

* “I wish I had done everything on earth with you.”

* “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.”

* “They say when you meet the love of your life time stops.”

* “Love isn’t something we invented its, observable and powerful it has to mean something.”

* “But the hearts not like a box that gets filled up, it expands the more you love.”

* “Because, every parting from you is like a little eternity.”

* “I would rather die tomorrow, then live a hundred years without you.”

* “Your so stupid (name)! Why did you do that! Why?” “You jump I jump right?”

* “The best love is the kind that weakens the soul, that makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.”

* “Can’t you see? Every step I have taken, since I was that child on a bridge, has been to bring myself a step closer to you.”

* “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love...I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

* “I love you more than I have loved any women, I have have waited longer for you, than I have for any other women.”

* “My dream? My dream wouldn’t be complete without you in it.”

* “This, this part of you, don’t destroy it.”

* “Winning that ticket (name) was the best thing that ever happened to me, it brought me to you.”

* “I don’t want to be worshipped I want to be loved.”

* “And the last thing you will ever see will be me because I love you.”

* “Because I want you! All of you. forever.”

* “And in this moment I swear we are infinite.”

* “Life is short, the world is wide, I want to make some memories.”

* “You can rest now.”

* “I waited for you for seven years, and now it’s too late.”

* “I will never let go, I promise.”

* “Take her to the moon for me.”

* “Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere.”

* “You still go to bed every night, going over every detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.”

* “I want the fairytale.”

* “I love you” “then prove it”

* “What would you do for love?”

* “It’s you (name) it’s always been you”

* “I know my value, anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter.”

* “It was no surprise to me when I finally understood that (gender) was the most beautiful person I had seen in all my life.”

* “It’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really hard and we’re gonna have to work at this everyday but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me everyday.”

* “I don’t wanna forget you. I don’t want to forget us.”

👇 Part 2 to 👆

* “I would take my year with you over a lifetime with anybody else.”

* "That's the thing about best friends. That's what they do. They keep you from spinning off the edge.”

* “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

* “You complete me.”

* “You make me want to be better.”

* “You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”

* "You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. I’ll get you the moon.”

* "I love you. You complete me."

* "I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met."

* "I love you without knowing how, why, or even from where."

* "I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love."

* "It seems right now that all I've ever done in my life is making my way here to you."

* “You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."

* "It's like in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together."

* “These two people who truly love each other and have no idea how truly miserable they're about to make each other. But—but—when two people know that and they decide with eyes wide open to face each other and get married anyway, then I don't think it's conservative or delusional. I think it's radical and courageous and very romantic.”

* “I don't know; I just got a feeling about her. You know when a song comes on and you just gotta dance?”

* “Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about.”

* "Our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it."

* "In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find someone who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you."

* "What I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are." — Bridget Jones's Diary

* "I knew that when I kissed this girl I would be forever wed to her. So I stopped. I stopped and I waited. I waited for a moment longer. Then I just let myself go." — The Great Gatsby

* "I've come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours." — Sense and Sensibility

* "When I first saw you, I felt like I knew you, and I couldn't stop seeing my life with you, and building a family together. One that isn't stuck in the pain of the past. It's very pretty. And so, if you're asking me if my proposition still stands, then my answer is yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes." — The Light Between Oceans

* "It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together, and I knew it. I knew it the first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew it. It was like magic." — Sleepless in Seattle

* "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."

*  "For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you."

* "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

* "You have made a place in my heart where I thought there was no room for anything else. You have made flowers grow where I cultivated dust and stones."

* "You make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way."

* "I was made and meant to look for you and wait for you and become yours forever." ― Robert Browning, Pauline: The Fragment of a Confession

* "Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt thy love."

* "Love starts as a feeling, But to continue is a choice; And I find myself choosing youMore and more every day."

* "I can conquer the world with one hand, as long as you’re holding the other."

* "When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

* "You don't marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can't live without."

* "I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow."

* "A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you."

* "My love for you is a journey, starting at forever and ending at never."

* "You're something between a dream and a miracle."

* "I look at you and see the rest of my life in front of my eyes."

* “When I look at you, I see everything I've ever wanted."

* “You are every lovely word I could think of."

* "Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.”

* "In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine."

* "Do I love you? My god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."

* "If I know what love is, it is because of you.”

* "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

* "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage."

* “You know I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. You’re just the most amazing beautiful girl I ever met, and I don’t know, somehow you chose me....but how I loved you then, it’s nothing compared to how I love you now. I love you with everything inside of me.”

* “I don’t care where we are. I just care that we’re together, you’re my home.”

* “And honestly when I’m with her, I completely forget what I am.”

* “If you walk away, it’s for you because I know what I want. I want you (name), I love you.”

* “I’m still mad at you because being around you drives me nuts and not being around you drives me nuts.”

* “I believe that when you love someone and that person loves you in return, you’re uniquely vulnerable. They have a power to hurt you like nothing else.”

* “Anybody capable of love is capable of being saved.”

* “It’s not a crime to love what you cannot explain.”

* “I’m in love with a woman I can never have. The point, I’m in love with her and its driving me crazy. I’m not in control. I have to stay together to protect her and she wants me to be a better person. Which means I can’t be who I am.” Continuing to last sentence “or who I think i am”

* “You were by my side when I needed a friend. You made me laugh. You made me dance. You told me that I would find love again… And, I understand if I have to wait for you, and I will. I’ll wait. And when you’re ready for me, I will be ready for you.”

* “Love’s always going to require a huge leap of faith. A big, scary leap over a hot pit of lava. And, you might end up heartbroken, but you might be the happiest person on the face of the earth.”

* “Through all of this, you’re the one thing that kept me from giving up.”

* “I don’t pretend to be anything when I’m with (gender), that’s the whole point. I get to be myself.”

* “I would rather spend every moment in agony than erase the memory of you.”

* “When it’s real you can’t walk away.”

* “If it’d were my choice I’d be with you forever.”

* “I’d tell you to have hope because sometimes that’s all that keeps me going.”

* "(Gender) was your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes."

* "I don't know who I am without you, but I know that as long as I'm with you, time will stand still."

* “I’m not going anywhere. I’d rather burn alive than abandon you.”

* “(Name), to me you’re the whole damn world.”

* “You’re gonna like me, (Name). I’m gonna let you pretend for awhile that you don’t already.”

* “If you lay even a finger on her I swear I will make you suffer in ways even your evil mind can't imagine.”

* “You came back” “I always come back”

* “If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it out loud and you go from there.”

* “You were like coming up for fresh air. It’s like I was drowning and you saved me. That’s all I know.”

* “I love everything about you. Even the things I don’t like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?”

* “She’s my person. If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She’s my person.”

* “Please don’t give up on me. Promise. Promise me you won’t.”

* “When I had no one else you accepted me....and you showed me what it was like to be loved.”

* “I didn’t fall in love with you because I was lost and lonely. I fell in love with you because when I bonded with you, I had finally found my home where I felt safe.”

* “I’ve realized that I don’t care if (gender) is the most perfect (gender) in the world. (Genders) not you.”

* “Maybe life should be about more then just surviving. Don’t we deserve better then that?”

[iviarellereads]

Nona the Ninth, John 5:4(1)

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(No icon) In which it's time to finish this, and get on with the rest of the story.(2)

In the dream they were back on the beach with their backs to the sea. The sand was soft and wet and grey—so fine that it dried as they plucked at it, then crumbled through their fingers like ash. The beach was a long, smooth stretch relieved only by hummocks, here and there, of thin grass and silvery driftwood sticking out of the dunes like exposed bone. He was scooping indentations in the sand, making big, print-block child’s letters with the tip of his forefinger. As she watched, he made a pothook—J—then the finned spine of E. He wiped that E clean, and replaced it with A. He wiped that clean, and he drew the prison bars of H. This J and H he barred around with an uneven heart.(3)

She asks if she can ask a question. He agrees, surprised. She asks what it means to love God. He makes a joke about being an easy date. With less patience, she asks what it means for the Ninth House to love their God.(4) There's a long silence, and then he gives her a short parable about faith that you aren't alone.

She said— “After this, you’ll resurrect them.” “Yes,” he said, as though halfway dreaming. He stuck his finger in the sand and made a hole so deep that water glimmered at the bottom. Hypnotized, he did it again. “Yes. Once we’ve rested. No, we’ll do it before you’ve rested. You can rest afterward … resurrection is different from waking up. We’ll get them all back … some of them, anyway … or at least, the ones I want to bring back. Anyone I feel didn’t do it. Anyone I feel had no part in it. Anyone I can look at the face of and forgive. And my loved ones … The ones I left, I’ll bring back. I know I can. Even G—. In fact, G—’ll be easiest—he won’t remember the compound—none of them will have to remember anything. I know where remembrance lives in the brain, and he won’t have any of it. You know that too, don’t you? It’s the easiest thing in the world … to forget.”(5)

She asks if they should forget everything. He says it's the only way, so they won't feel guilty over their actions. He adds there was no other way, once the bombs started going off, there was no hope for G- and Melbourne anyway. She says, but he said that G-'s bomb went off first. He clarifies defensively that of course it did, but that's not the point, and it doesn't matter. Only one thing matters now. He smooths over the holes he created with his fingers, and says he still breathes, and "they" still exist, and he cannot forgive them.(6) She asks to whom he refers. He doesn't answer.

Then he said, “Do you remember what happens now?” Harrowhark Nonagesimus stood up. She brushed a few traces of sand off her trousers. [...] “Yes,” she said. “Through her, I’ve seen it. You resurrect some of them. You wake up fewer still. You start out with a few thousand, then, later, some hundred thousand, then millions, but never more than millions.(7) You teach them how to live all over again. You teach yourself. [...] It’s easy. You’re God. Your energy is limitless and you can sustain your theorems without a thought—forget about them—because she is so enormous, and you and she are one. She understands at this point that she does not have to die—that she can never die, if you’re alive. And she’s scared to die.(8) You’re afraid of so many things, but she’s only afraid to die. Then, when the disciples come to you and say the word Lyctor, she does not understand that they want the thing you did to her—she watches as you watch … watch them misunderstand the process.”(9)

He says "God must be able to touch all of creation". She doesn't understand.

“You said it yourself. I can’t die if she’s alive; she can’t die if I’m alive. Why would you let something like that run around, Harrow? Why would you let someone go—away from you—untouchable—two people?(10) I couldn’t—I loved them too much—I saw the face of Earth and choked the life out of it and ate it whole. Oh, I knew I was on the clock for the Resurrection Beasts. I pretended she was the only one,(11) but I knew the others were coming. I needed my loved ones to be something I could touch … needed them to be my hands … my fingers.”

He reiterates that there's no forgiveness for those who ran from him, and there can be no forgiveness for himself, either. Not even as he rips off his very fingers and throws them at the monsters who hunt him.(12) Still, the power of God allows him to wipe it clean again, if he wants, like an old cleaner ad, "Spray and walk away, right?" He thinks perhaps the only reason he hasn't done it yet is that he wouldn't be able to touch them.(13) He thinks maybe that's why he made the Tomb, because it's his death, the apocalypse,(14) his self-preservation.

She says there's something she doesn't understand. He says there's lots he doesn't.

She said— “I want to understand why she was angry—I want to understand the mathematics, now that I have seen them for myself. I want to know how many of the Resurrection are left, and how many you began with, and what the discrepancies are. I want to know where you put them. They didn’t go into the River. I want to know why she was angry … and why you were terrified.” She looked away from him, and she said: “I want to journey to find God. Maybe, at the end of that road, I will find God in you, Teacher … the God who became man and the man who became God. Or, perhaps, the child of the Nine Houses will recognise a different divine. But I am the Reverend Daughter—I am the Reverend Mother, the Reverend Father—I must find God, or some aspect of God, and understand it for myself … even if she lies, right now, within the Tomb.”

He stands, and he's taller than she is, but she isn't afraid of him. He puts a hand on her shoulder and looks at her, wonderingly.(15) She can see no fear in him now.

He tells her God is a dream, one the people all dream together, even "her"(16). He asks where she will go in her search.

She turns from him, standing ankle-deep in the River.

Before her, the waters parted, speared-through and mute, for the enormous lance of a tower(17)—a tower that had never been there before; a tower that soared, impossible and deadly grey, out of the waters—a tower of grey bricks, lurching out of the River as though gasping for air. An impossible, cone-capped tower—a belled tower; she could see the steeple, but the bell cot was too far from shore to see the bell. “I’ll start there,” she said. And she stepped into the River. She took another step, and she walked, and she walked.

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(1) "And an angel of the Lord descended at certain times into the pond and the water was moved. And he that went down first into the pond after the motion of the water was made whole of whatsoever infirmity he lay under." A difficult passage to find relevance in. Loosely, I suppose, you could say that John's intention to resurrect Gideon again counts as making him whole. Our final A1Z26, though, the full sequence: THE TOWER IS REACTIVATED. The very Tower that Harrow views, here, in the River? What does it mean? Now, at this point, I can tell you that there was at least one report, from someone who got an advanced reader copy of the book, that there was a second A1Z26 sequence. Admittedly, it was just a tweet, which may or may not have disappeared since, but it said that in the ARC version, it read THE TOWER WANTS JOHN GAIUS. I should've been going through and checking the relevant Bible passages for that version, too, as I read… but I'm giving that to you, my readers, as a fun side project. Open the John chapter summaries, pull up a Douay Rheims or any old translation you prefer, and look up the alternate verses. How do they stack up against each chapter's contents? Are they more or less applicable? Honestly a lot of the "final" hardback/ebook version verses are just like astrology or tarot: vague enough that you can find ways to apply them within your biases and expectations. I don't expect that the ARC version would be much different. Though, I am curious if we'll get a third set with the paperback release in a couple of months. (Why yes, I have mine preordered.)

(2) Quite literally, when you consider this used to be the end of Act One of Alecto the Ninth. (3) The ancient tradition of putting your initials with those of your lover. John loves Earth, not quite right. John loves Alecto/Annabel, still not quite there. John loves Harrowhark? Why yes. I don't think this is a literal romantic love, though. I think it's dream-logic, since here, she is both Alecto and Harrowhark. (4) And here, the proof that it was always, on some level, Harrow as much as Alecto. (5) Multiple parts to break down here. For one, he's still mentally stuck in the story, speaking as if he only just ate Earth. Two, he's still making decisions for people he has no right to decide for. Three, this really reinforces my questions as to whether or not the Lyctors remember their pre-Resurrection relationships to him. This seems to imply that he doesn't want them to. (6) Again, he seems stuck in the immediate aftermath of his story, as if it really has only been weeks, as if he hasn't yet performed the Resurrection. Is it just dream logic? Is he insane? (7) I have another theory that he's Resurrected multiple times, I don't think I've mentioned it in the non-spoiler read so far, but here's kind of where it goes. Think back to the opening poem, "This time will be the time we get it right". He knows how to make them forget. He knows how to restore their bodies and minds to a particular point in their lives. There seem to be a lot of hints that he spent more time at Canaan House than the strictest indications of other characters' timelines as given, like Pal's psychometry indicating some pieces are thousands of years older than others. They could just be rescued statues, but the implication all that way back in GtN was that they were two parts of a whole, or seemed to be, but separated in time. There are a LOT of reasons to reread the series and there are a LOT of things that can serve as launching points for theories.

(8) Which brings a whole new depth to Nona's admission. That she's ready to die. Over and over she said it. And now I'm just gonna go crawl into a lil hole and cry for a bit over it. (9) She watches as he lets them misunderstand. As he lets them butcher each other to gain a fraction of what he has. (10) What two people? (11) Acknowledgement that she wasn't really just the Earth's spirit anymore. Alecto was the first Resurrection Beast. Truly, it's a wonder she passed for as human as she did, to make the Lyctors only suspect and not rebel so much sooner. And remember, too, that once it was stated in the text that she started to go crazy after they put down the first RB. (12) He throws the Lyctors at the RBs, and at the BOE, and at anyone who threatens his empire and his power. (13) Wouldn't be able to touch whom? Why would his loved ones not come back to him, especially if he altered their memories? Does he mean that he wouldn't have his present reach into non-House territory? This whole chapter is a damned fever dream. (14) Remember the dual meaning of this one? Yeah. (15) I think this is an intentional dual-meaning again. Wondering as in thoughtfully, but also wondering as in "with wonder(awe)". (16) Alecto, one assumes. (17) And at long last, The Tower... but what could it mean? There's not much time left for answers in this book, and we don't know when the next one's due.