#how dare a show for 5 year olds be poorly written

[bullbobb]

TSS!Nightmare Steve is such a funny guy, the only reason he works for Elemental is because elemental can’t go be a terrorist on his own

Imagine only having a job because your boss is a shut in who can’t leave his bedroom without dying

[sonseulsoleil]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @hmslusitania! Thanks Hayley!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

110

2. What’s your total word count on AO3?

483,852

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Whatever I am obsessed with at the moment. The last stuff I was working on was Percy Jackson fic, before that Heartstopper (and I WILL get back to those wips eventually). Oh, and Newsies is also currently in the works! Basically I have ADHD and I am all over the place all of the time. I'll go back to wips I started 5 years ago and keep working on them. What I've written vs what I've actually managed to polish and post is a HUGE disparity lol

4. Top five fics by kudos

- All We Do Is Run

- Let the Whole World Melt Away

- never saw you coming (and I'll never be the same)

- sugar, butter, flour (what a mess I'm making)

- stay in my arms if you dare (or must I imagine you there)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, almost always. It takes me awhile sometimes, but I try to respond to every comment. I worry that if I don't respond, people will stop commenting.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've written a couple Major Character Death fics, but they're not on AO3 because they were just drabbles so I only posted them on tumblr (also they're very old and bad)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm maybe All We Do Is Run, just compared to the source material lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have a couple times. Mostly on fics where I've introduced OCs, which sucks.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, sometimes. But I don't post it. I write it for myself and will maybe share it with friends if they're interested.

10. Craziest crossover?

I've never written a proper crossover. I'll write AUs where I take the characters of Property A and put them into the story of Property B, but I've never written a true crossover where characters of two properties interact.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, but I've definitely had fic concepts stolen. Which sounds petty, but I've made posts about fics I'm working on and had people take them and write their own fics with the same details I mentioned and it's like. Not plagiarism exactly and it's impossible to own ideas, really, but it does rub me the wrong way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple times! It's very cool!

13. Have you ever Co-written a fic?

I tried once a long time ago and it went poorly. Turns out I am not a very good collaborator sometimes.

14. All time favourite ship?

I don't--you want me to pick ONE?! are you kidding lol

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have SO MANY. There's a Star Trek fic I've been working on off and on since Beyond came out. There's my mermaid!Buck 911 fic. There's my current Heartstopper fic. There's my PJO Anastasia fic. There's my angst canon divergence Psych fic. My google drive is a graveyard of partially written stories begging to see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing things, clearly.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Depends wildly. I've written this in some Heartstopper fics, because Nick speaks French. And I had a friend who is fluent in French help me get it right. I think when people take the time to find a fluent speaker to help them or are fluent themselves, it's fine and good. And when people are just using google translate, it shows. Also, obviously, being bilingual has to make sense for the character. I also especially have beef with the way people often write latine characters/Spanish specifically. I grew up surrounded by latinos and nobody talks like that. Stop it. You all know what I'm talking about.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

ABC's Castle. Say what you will about Nathan Fillion, but that show shaped me as a person.

20. Fave fics you’ve written?

All We Do Is Run (longest multi-chap I've ever written. this thing was years of my life.)

répète (the only one of my GMW/BMW fics I regularly go back to)

tin can telephones (it's all written in texts and dialogue and that was really fun)

I'm tagging @firstelevens @memequeme @galwithalibrarycard and anyone else who wants to do it!

[lsholland]

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 (𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 - "𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠?"

Word count: 3.7k

tw: addictions (alcohol, drugs), swearing, disease, murder...

genre: psychological thriller / suspense / drama

Synopsis: Tom Holland is Hollywood's #1 celebrity and is adored all around the world. But this rise to fame hasn't been easy for him. With fame comes his own demons: addiction issues, a relationship that's about to end and...he doesn't know it yet, but he's about to kill an innocent woman. How is he going to get through it?

You can also read it on Wattpad.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated :)

"Tom! Tom!!! TOM!!!" shouts a woman in a black hoodie among a hysterical crowd of young boys and girls trying to get this man's attention. "PLEASE!!! I love you so much" her voice crackles, she's sobbing in despair.

He stops walking and stands right in front of her, a sharpie pen between his fingers and an unnatural grin on his face. Even though these people claim they love him, he's tired of them. It's something with the drama, the screams, and the perpetual inconsideration that drains his energy. His straight face says it all, if only they weren't obsessed with his looks, he'd be pleased to spend time with them. But he knows he's just an object of their fantasies. He forces a smile, or something close to it, and accepts to take a picture with her. He stands next to her, his arms in his back, his fingers intertwined and shakily holding the pen, glancing at the camera lens, lost in his thoughts. His body is present in the moment, but his mind is thousands of kilometres away in the universe that is his brain.

And she's so happy to finally have that precious picture that her smile shows all her impeccable teeth; she's sweating and rapidly breathing and laughing with the same high-pitched voice as everyone else; she's just a typical fangirl. All her friends gather around her and whisper as if they were hiding a secret from an alien.

And onto the next one. Same hysteria, same cry for help, miserable for his attention. She hands him a picture of him in a Spider-Man suit and asks for an autograph while she's filming the scene with her brand-new iPhone.

It has to do with the way they treat him. The way they pretend he doesn't notice their weird behaviour. The way they simply believe he's not a human being. That he must be good-looking, happy, nice, and funny all the time.

"We've gotta go" says his assistant as he presses his shoulder with his hand. Tom looks at him with relief and closes his eyes for a second. He lets out a sigh as a soft smile appears on his angelic face.

"A'ight, I'm sorry guys" he apologises, but that's not enough. Many of them start crying and push through the thin barrier to get a hold of him; like monsters that haven't been fed, like addicts when you can't provide their usual dose of drugs. They look so disappointed and hopeless; leaving now would reduce all his efforts to dust. Keeping a good image and reputation is the key. He doesn't want to be hated.

Guilt rushes through him like a thrill; he glances at his watch and gulps. He gives them another 5 minutes for pictures, autographs, and hugs. Even if he's late. Even if he's going to miss his interview. Because he owes his success to them; or at least he thinks he does.

And when he goes into the back seat of this huge black SUV with no registration plate, he slams the door shut and . . . Peace. Finally, the moment he's been waiting for. The pressure leaves his body like a bubble burst. He sighs and relaxes his muscles, his head falling back on the seat. His eyes are closed; he doesn't say a word for the whole ride. His time alone is so rare and valued.

And when they arrive in front of that gigantic building to pass this final interview, Tom prepares to show his usual bright smile and pretends he's happy. Nobody notices what's hidden in his gaze. But his eyes are telling the truth. His eyes show how hopeless he is. But nobody dares looking into his soul. They only see the superficial layer, the mask he puts on every day. Because nobody knows who he is. Nobody cares about him.

It's so much simpler to ignore sadness in other people. We just tend to believe only good moments are worth sharing. We just pretend we're happy all the time because that's what everyone else does. And why would he show his sadness anyway? He has it all: a girlfriend, loads of money, a caring family, success . . . What can he be sad about?

The interview is done, Tom is in the car, cruising in the city. He's finally going home after a long, tiring, and stressful day.

He unlocks his phone and checks his text messages. They're plain and all related to his fame or his work. All his conversations are so self-centred. What are his plans? What does he like? And what's his opinion on this subject? He, he, him, him, again and again!

He's so tired and wants to be entertained. This empty space laying in his heart and brain becomes bigger and bigger. It's become harder to ignore it, especially when he's alone like tonight. Besides, he's too used to entertain others that he almost forgets what it's like to be passive and watch people do things. As if the world revolved around him.

Here we go. Instagram. The most toxic of all social media platforms. He scrolls through pictures of his friends. The famous ones on red carpets or photoshoots; the anonymous ones a drink in their hands. They're all so superficial. All the same. And the algorithm showing him pictures fans have taken of him earlier today . . . Icing on the cake. Why would he watch this? He doesn't need it. But he decides to read what the fans say, because he's curious. Or because he's obsessed with what people think of him. He needs to be known, loved, remembered, at the centre of attention – adored. He wouldn't need to sell his soul to the devil because it's already in him, and he's now paying the price of this sin.

The fans he met earlier, who were so happy to finally see their idol, were bullying him on social media. They aren't even aware of it. All these people objectifying him, posting pictures of his family – invading his privacy – and saying he can't 'write' or 'walk' or do anything properly because he's just human. They say they are joking except it's not funny. Tom's feelings are hurt, again. He should have written 'you're' instead of 'your', he should have noticed there was a hole in the grass and not trip . . . These images are roaming in his brain like a car's spinning wheels when you brake at 60 miles per hour; the pressure of the tyres scratching your mind, and the intrusive thoughts that can't be stopped like the wheel. Ever. And you eventually hit the wall.

He glances at the rear-view mirror and see his driver focused on the traffic lights. He glances around to make sure no paparazzi is watching and takes a flask out of his back pocket. His trembling hands poorly hold it, but he needs to drink something to feel better; to feel energised. He spills his boose on the leather seats and sighs with annoyance. Grabbing his hoodie feels like lifting the weight of the world; he manages to wipe it off and savours the sweet taste of vodka. Just one sip can't hurt.

That's how you know it's too late.

"Do you really need it?" says the assistant in the front passenger seat who caught him.

"It's just a drink" Tom replies instantly, frowning his eyebrows.

"I'm just worried about you, you know" he adds as he turns around and looks at him in his eyes.

"There's nothing to worry about," Tom mumbles as he feels relaxed "I can stop if I want to."

"If you say so . . ."

And even the people surrounding him day and night aren't trying to help him. Everyone's aware he's slowly getting addicted and is wasting his potential, everyone but the fans. Everyone pretends to love him, but nobody truly cares. They're just after his money, power, and fame . . .

It's like watching him tiptoeing on the deck's edge of a ferry and being shocked when he eventually falls off in the unforgiving cold, dark sea.

He smiles when the car stops in front of his London house. That's the only place where he feels like he can truly be himself. Or the last of it. After all, who is he really? Spider-Man? An actor that pleases 13-year-old girls? A failure? An impostor? Or no one at all?

What happened to the young boy who was excited about everything and anything? What happened to the one who used to laugh more than he'd breathe?

He is torn. He can't love anymore. He's had many girlfriends, each one more famous and beautiful than the last, but they couldn't bring him back to life. He truly loved them though. He felt good with them and always thought they were a match until he messed up. Making up a behaviour so they'd leave him because he's not strong enough to quit. Because he is just like this. A kid who can't handle success.

He currently has a girlfriend. Everyone loves her. He thinks she's too good for him though. Too beautiful, too clever, and maybe too famous. He feels like she's achieving much more than he is and that scares him. He can't even make love to her without feeling like he's not worth it. So, he ignores her calls, takes days to reply to a text, becomes cold as stone, distant, and unstable. This is how cowards break up. But she holds on to him.

Once he gets home, he sits on his couch and starts watching TV. His stomach is empty; he hasn't eaten all day but the only thing he wants is to drink more. It's like a voice in his brain that takes control of his body. He sees everything but can't do anything about it. The smell, the thirst, the mind that can't think of anything else. His hands are shaking, breathing becomes uneasy, he's uncomfortable in his own skin; he's a stranger to himself until he drinks. He's desperately waiting for someone to help him. But they're all too busy with their own problems.

He tries to drink from his flask, but it is empty.

He groans. "One more isn't gonna hurt" he whispers to himself as he walks towards the kitchen area. He opens the fridge and grabs a cold one.

And another one.

And another one.

And another one.

And another one . . .

The saddest thing about the situation is that he truly believes in his excuses. He doesn't realise he desperately needs help.

Now, the fridge is empty. But he still doesn't feel it. He doesn't feel the uninhibited state he wants to reach. He's still a victim of his thoughts; the sadness, the anger, the feeling of being trapped in a never-ending game.

He glances at his 80,000 dollars Rolex and decides it's time for him to go to a bar. He grabs his phone and calls his assistant. No answer. He calls his second assistant then. No answer.

"It's only 2AM, come on!" he grunts.

Only?

He thinks for barely a second and grabs his keys and gets into his car. There's a night bar in Kingston that he absolutely loves, and he knows he's always welcome there.

As a celebrity he's obviously welcome everywhere. But he noticed the way people looked at him with pity when he spent an entire night drinking without speaking to anyone. Alone in his thoughts that only he knows. It's different there, the barmaid usually talks to him and entertains him. And she just doesn't care he's famous, which is rare nowadays.

He's been caught drunk driving many times, but he was always released without a word because he's so famous. As if all the police officers have daughters who worship him.

Maybe his problem is thinking he's above all. He who used to be so humble, kind, and generous.

He parks in front of the venue, but the lights are off. He rolls down the window and squints to read the paper sticked to the door.

The bar is closed for annual leave.

"Fuck it!" he shouts. He checks on his phone if another bar is open tonight. Miss Jackson is. It's not the bar he usually spends his time in, but the beers are good and it's not too crowded for him. He absolutely wants to avoid fans tonight.

Most of them are underage, it's dangerous for him. One mistake and he'd become a paedophile. That's why he swore to himself to never do anything with a fan, no matter how hot they are. It's harder to respect this rule when he's drunk though.

"Let's go then" he says in a lazy way, the alcohol slowly taking control of him.

His eyes are red, everything he sees is blurred. He can't keep his thoughts straight.

He starts the car and puts some music to lighten his mood. He needs this to feel better. If something bad happens while he's drunk it ruins his mood. And when this happens . . . he starts having very dark thoughts. The kind of thoughts you better keep to yourself if you don't want people to be scared for you. Where your life is on the line, and you don't care about tomorrow because you just want to stop it . . . The sadness; the anxiety; the constant fears. Because the only moment you feel happy is when you sleep, as if you were dead. Tom feels like this all the time, and he hides it well.

But now he's focusing on the moment. The boose allows him to feel better. He listens to this pop song and its energy is spreading in his body. He's pushed by the music; the excitement and adrenaline take control over his body. He's ready to go.

He quickly backs up the car. He's so excited to go to the bar to finally drink some more and—

BOOM! His car abruptly stops, it sounds like a crash. An alarm is wailing, echoing in Tom's ears, making him feel dizzy. The shock was so intense he hit his face against the airbag of his steering wheel leaving his skin half-burnt. He passes out.

Tom startles as he wakes up, "what the fuck just happened?" he hisses. He stays still giving time to his brain to proceed the information and checks his rear-view camera. It's been disconnected.

He jumps out of his car and checks what happened. He collided with another vehicle. A much smaller car with a crushed bumper. Tom's car is damaged as well, but he doesn't care, he walks over the small Fiat 500 and scans the surroundings. His heart is pounding; air isn't traveling down to his lungs. He suffocates as if he were trapped in a cage down the ocean. He doesn't control his shaking fingers rubbing against his sweating forehead. His lips are parting, gasping for air, while his eyes are wide open looking straight to the ground.

For a second, he realises that he can be in big trouble if anyone knows about this. This can be enough to be fired by the Marvel Studios and ruin his entire career, his life. No one wants a drunk superstar to ruin a movie's reputation.

He hesitates. He wants to run away. He faintly grabs his head in his weak hands and is heavily panting. He can taste iron on the tip of his tongue. He rubs his forearm against his mouth and feels wobbly at the sight of his own blood.

What is he going to do? Has someone seen what happened? And if he leaves, what happens to the unconscious person in the car? But if he helps them, what guarantees him he's not going to be prosecuted? And lose it all? But what if he leaves and this person dies? What if they die and someone knows he killed them? Each scenario is getting worse and worse.

There's only one viable option for him.

"Hey, are you alright?" he says as he approaches the fuming car.

He glances around, but the street is empty. That's the reason why he usually loves this place; because it's so quiet.

"Are—Are you okay there?" he stutters.

He opens the door and see blood. Dark, thick, red blood. An unconscious woman with blood all over her face is lying on the steering wheel. Her car is so old there is no airbag. The shock must've been tough for her. She might even have a brain injury.

Tom places his hand on this woman's neck to check if her heart is still beating. It's weak. She needs help or she'll die because of his stupidity, because he's a drunk who can't even check his surroundings before backing up his car. Poor woman whose life is on pause for his mistake. She'll die because of him.

He dials 999 on his cell phone and repeats what he's going to say once someone picks up the phone.

"There's a woman—she's injured! Car accident!" he cries. He doesn't even try to make sentences; he just wants this to be over. "Please come quickly"

"What's your name, sir?"

His body is wavering, tears are streaming down his face – it's absolute chaos in his mind. He can't tell his name; he'd rather die than publicly suffer from the consequences of his actions. He needs to fly away; he needs to escape from this nightmare. He needs to leave, and now.

He hangs up in a hurry. No one can know he is drunk, and he almost killed someone. He walks back to his SUV and catches one last glimpse of this woman's body before closing the door and driving away.

As soon as he leaves, he regrets his decision, but sticks to it anyway. His soul is crying for him to go back there and help this dying life, but his cowardice tells him to hide and wait until this is over. He's reaching his lowest point, and the only person he wants to see now is his mum. When she holds him in her arms, the weight of his problems is bearable; he can even feel relaxed. And he wishes she'd be able to do it tonight. But it would kill her to know what monstrosity her son just did . . .

He's home, all alone. It's been a few hours since the incident happened, and Tom can't think of anything else. This woman's face, her blood all over the windshield, her crushed car.

Why didn't she see him? Why was she driving so fast in an empty street at night? So many questions roam in Tom's brain, it's slowly eating him alive.

He's sobering up as the morning lights glow on his face. It's already 6AM and he hasn't slept at all. He watches himself in his bathroom mirror and only see dark circles, pale skin, and the features of a monster. The broken blood vessels in the white of his eyes give him an evil aspect. He raises his arm and see the pink burnt skin, another scar for life. How on earth could he leave a dying woman?

He doesn't only feel remorse; he doesn't recognise himself. He's lost and wonders what happened in his life to be so miserable he considers his career more important than someone else's life.

He firmly rubs his face with the palms of his hands and takes off his clothes in a simple sweep. He crawls onto his bed and covers his body with a weighted blanket. He's almost trying to forget he exists when he squeezes his eyes shut and stops breathing until his lungs pressure him to open his mouth. Nature has done a wonderful job preventing us from suffocating on purpose. What a bummer for Tom; he would be dead already if he could just stop breathing . . .

He takes his phone, his only friend and his worst enemy, and checks the local news. Maybe they've mentioned the accident and he'll be able to know what happened to his woman. Not many articles have been published since last night. He keeps scrolling until he finds what he's been looking for.

25-year-old in coma after accident in Southeast London, fugitive remains unfound

Tom's heart skips a beat; this article must be about her. For a second, he apprehends and hesitates to read the article. But his guilty mind needs to know everything about what happened since he deserted.

As he reads the article, he gently places his hand over his mouth to stop him from crying out loud. The woman was so heavily injured they needed to put her under artificial coma to keep her alive. She was on her way to meet her dying husband, in the same hospital she's at now.

Such an emotional shock inflicts a profound pain to Tom's heart. He sobs in silence and passes out due to sleep deprivation. He's finally at peace; no thought, no nightmare. His mind is off, and his body is fully regenerating. His brain is solely focused on keeping his body alive. His soul is resting for a few hours until his cell phone starts ringing.

Tom wakes up with a start and answers his phone without checking who's on the line.

"Tom, what are you doing? I've been knocking at your door for the past 10 minutes," shouts his brother "what happened to your car? Dude what are you doing? You've gotta get ready for GQ!"

"Wh—What?" he mumbles.

His brother knocks at the door. Tom gets off his bed and walks down the stairs with difficulty. When he opens the door, the lights blind him, it's too sunny outside. He'd rather stay inside for a few more hours.

His brother checks him out and sighs. "Have you been drinking? The photoshoot is in less than an hour and you look like shit"

Tom remains silent, trying to process the information.

"And what happened to your car, man?"

And here it is. Every memory comes back in his mind like fireworks and his feet are failing, he can barely stand still. He grabs his brother by his shoulder and holds him tight in his arms. He's the only one who can really help him feel better. He wants to tell him everything that happened, but he can't admit he's got a problem.

He's lost.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading! What do you think so far of the story? Tom is in a very bad situation, I wonder how he's going to get through it?

Please like this post to be in the taglist.

[avelera]

Eh, sometimes a fact is historically accurate but lacking in good taste to include in historical fiction and is better off being cut.

Namely, I had an idea for an exchange that was going to make reference to how the slave trade functioned in the Mediterranean in the 11th c for the Amnesiac Nicky fic - Nicky gets shot and loses his memory while the group is taking out a human trafficking cell in Rome in 2008, and I briefly flirted with the idea of having an exchange about the nuances around how someone from the 11th c. would view this endeavor before deciding to just have Crusader Nicky agree with the group that slavers are vile and they did the right thing (while being cautiously intrigued that they take such a strong moral stance without needing a lord or the Church to tell them to do so, perhaps dare I say, finding it a compelling way of life to be able to recklessly do good with their immortality). 

Basically, Christians and Muslims both forbade enslavement of people of their own religion, but not of the other, but it was still a common enough practice that this law was broken on both sides in secret. With an estimated of a 2-5% slave population in Genoa, historically Nicky would have grown up seeing slavery and slave traders, and would not necessarily be shocked by slavers in Rome selling captives to brothels, unless they were selling Christians. On the more extreme end of the interpretation, one could even have him be confused as to why the Old Guard was taking out legitimate tradesmen. 

But, there comes a moment where it may be more *accurate* but really, the line wasn’t necessary and didn’t add anything that served the story. We’d already established that the 11th and 21st centuries are very different times, so pausing to examine how the view of human trafficking has changed in the last 1,000 years felt gratuitous and in poor taste. 

Furthermore, I have no trouble believing that despite joining the Crusades (with all their atrocities), Nicky initially did so because the Pope lied to Europe saying that the “pagans” who controlled Jerusalem were brutalizing Christian pilgrims for practicing their faith and Nicky joined out of an instinct to protect those people and serve God. (So, doing the wrong thing but for the right reasons.)

I believe Nicky can be written even at his lowest point (the Siege of Jerusalem) as having an inherently a strong enough moral compass to think slavery is a disgusting trade--even if it’s an unusual view for his time and even if historically as a soldier besieging cities, he almost certainly saw or contributed the defeated city’s inhabitants being sold--enough to see the rest of the Old Guard as morally in the right for disrupting it. Furthermore, in the fic I’m setting up the Siege of Jerusalem as the traumatic event for him where he realized it’s not enough to just do things for the right reasons, you have to also take a stand against evil - truly setting him on the path to being the person we see in the 21st c, but that person didn’t come from nowhere.

So yes, it might be anachronistic for him to have a strong moral stance against slavery in his era, but ultimately I think it was more important to the story to show that the seeds of the Nicky we know are there even on the day he died outside Jerusalem. The question of the Old Guard’s complicity in historical horrors like slavery does come up in Force Multiplied Old Guard comic, but I think Rucka handles it rather poorly, in that he only brings it up with regards to Andy,  despite the fact Nicky and Joe would almost certainly be just as guilty of interacting with the slave trade throughout history. But dwelling on the historic nuances of something that still hurts a lot of people today probably isn’t the best use of the story’s time (to put it mildly). 

[halffictionalwritesstuff]

Hello:0 I have written more stuff with my Oc’s:3 this one features Josh and Dawn:> They’re at a magical school of sorts! Dawn is dealing with some stuff haha.

This is them vvvvvvvvv

Outside the coat closet, music was blaring at some stupid “mandatory school celebration”. Thousands of voices overlapped to create a suffocating sea of voices that had seemed to attack Dawn from every side. Bodies crashed into eachother as uncoordinated teenagers pretended you could actually dance to poorly chosen trap music. All the docorations and flashing lights had attacked Dawn’s eyes from every angle and the smell of sweat, cheap Cologne, and perfume make Dawn sick to the stomach. How could people stand these events without wanting to die?

The closet was much safer. It was dark and quieter. The only smell was of winter boots. She could sit there and be alone. Being alone was safer for her. There were less expectations when you can’t be seen. Dawn picked at the bottom of her skirt, rolling the seam between her fingers methodically. She should have brought something to do. Maybe a book to read or a sketchbook to doodle on. She had even left her phone on her dresser in an attempt to force herself to socialize more like she had promised Noir to do. But Noir was on a mission, and she was alone.

Dawn leaned her head back and slowed her breathing. Deep breath in. The voices in her head were louder today then usual. They cried out for murder and screamed curses at her for what she had done to them. HOW DARE SHE LIVE WHILE THEY WERE FORCED TO DIE!? Breathe out. Dawn was shaking a little, but she couldn’t let herself show too much emotion, just in case someone came in.

Breathe in. YOU DID THIS TO US HOW DARE YOU- breathe out. It was her fault the voices were there. She was the one who had hurt them. It may have been the pitch that was controlling her body, but it was her fault too for being weak enough for the pitch to control her. Breathe in.

Breathe ou-The door creaked open and a figure quickly shut it behind them. Dawn held her breath for a moment before quietly letting it out. Once they were in the dark of the room, Dawn could hear a sigh of relief followed by quiet muttering.

“Thank goodness.”

“Oh of course it’s him.” Dawn thought sarcastically to herself as Josh sat down in the closet, oblivious to Dawn’s presence. He let out a loud sigh and leaned back, running his hand through his probably gross and sweaty hair. He was breathing deeply, as if he had just been dancing or moving.

“Surely he’ll leave soon. After all, ‘Sunshine’ is the beacon of humankind and to deprive his worshippers of his presence would be a crime.” She thought sarcastically while rolling her eyes. A second quieter thought came to her soon after. “You stupid jelous idiot. You just wish you were one of the people he wanted to be around.” Dawn quickly shoved that thought down into the pits of her mind and hoped to never think of it again.

Josh kept muttering. “Can’t they tell that I don’t want to be at this stupid party.”

He changed his voice to a sarcastic tone and imitated whoever he had been hiding from. “Oh Josh. I would love if you could focus on me all the time. It’s not like you have a life too. Oh and how about I talk only about how terrible it is your dad died! So funny hahah!”

He shook his head and started pulling off the jacket he had been wearing. Dawn edged closer to the closet and prayed that he didn’t see her sitting there. It was hard enough trying not to panic, let alone try to avoid Josh. Ever since Noir had forced them to train together, things had been weird. Dawn actually had to talk to him and he actually had to use his brain.

She pulled her legs closer to her chest and moved as close to the corner as she could. Just hurry up and get out of here, Josh, I’m trying to have an attack of some kind and you’re making it hard.

Another wave of panic swept over her. The voices were screaming now. Crying out for vengeance. It was overpowering. The sounds of the dance faded away until all Dawn could hear was screaming. Horrible, we watched screaming that made Dawn wish she could claw her ears out. She couldn’t even make out what they were saying at this point. Which may have been a blessing, if the sound wasn’t so chillingly monstrous.

“Are you ok?” Dawn could hear Josh’s worried voice from amongst the screams.

Her chest was pounding and it felt like the devil himself had a grip on her heart. Stuttering out some stupid sentence that she couldn’t remember saying, Josh put a hand on her shoulder. He repeated the sentence, but this time Dawn couldn’t hear him this time. Part of her knew she was crying and tried to stop, but she just kept sobbing. The pain spread from her head into her toes and clutched at her chest even more. Without thinking, Dawn lurched forward and hugged Josh. She didn’t even know why, she just knew that he wouldn’t hurt her and that he was...a friend? She hated him. But. She trusted that he wouldn’t tell about how pathetic she was acting.

“S- sorry sorry I don’t mean mean to be weak uhh like weak like this.” Dawn somehow got out between deep breaths. Why was she doing this? IDIOT. She buried her face into his chest and stumbled out another sentence. “Sorry. Sorry. If if you want me to me to uhh le. Leave I-i will.”

Instead he gave her a hug. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Are you ok?”

Dawn whispered. “I can’t tell you.”

Internally her head was pounding as if it was a toy drum that some over enthusiastic kid was banging on. Dawn tried to focus on anything but the voices, but was instead met with the horrible music from the dance. Then she felt something get put on her head. It took a moment for her to process, before realizing they were headphones. There was no music coming out of them, but they blocked the sounds of the dance out fairly well.

Josh leaned close enough that she could still hear him talking through the headphones. Dawn noticed he kind smelled like s’mores up close, which was a weird realization to have.

“Look, I can’t force you to tell me what’s wrong. But at least let me try to help…”

He sounded genuinely worried and maybe even a little scared. But mostly worried? Dawn couldn’t really tell. One of the voices screeched it’s a high pitched tone that felt like a needle sewing itself up her spine. Dawn let out a painful gasp. Of course it had to be one of those days when they could hurt her physically. Dawn could feel Josh tense as her hands started shaking uncontrollably.

To be fair, it was probably kind of weird to see her looking this way. Most of the time Dawn tried to look aloof and strong. She was a tool. Not a person. Dawn repeated that thought in her mind.

You’re a tool. Not a person. A tool. Not a person. Why was Josh even still here? Why was she glad he was still here? He could leave. He should leave. Weak. Weak. WEAK. How could she be so weak?

Josh broke her stream of negative thoughts by starting to stand up and pulling Dawn up with him..

“Come on, let’s get you back to the dorms.”

Dawn was silent. The last thing she wanted to do was go back in to that mob of people. But to her surprise, Josh poked a nail in the wall and a small trap door flew open. A gust of cold wind blew through it and filled the warm closet with a chill breeze. Dawn shivered as the cold attacked her skin. All her hair stood on end for a moment before a huge jacket was placed on her shoulders, warming her as Josh took her hand and let her into the small tunnel. He looked back and let out a shy laugh.

“I found this a few weeks ago when Noir had us do that weird team training thing.” He turned back around to lead her down one of the paths.

Dawn blinked and finally took in what was happening. The voices were quieter now that her mind was busier with other thoughts. How had Josh been able to find these passages when Dawn, who had been here years previous hadn’t been able to? The corridor they were in looked old and carried a musty smell that was similar to the smell of the old school library. It couldn’t be a new passage, could it? Then again, this was a school for magic and it could have shifted to account for new generations of students.

Dawn looked up at Josh and realised that he was leaning over, hunched in the barely 5 foot tall corridor. Her eyes moved down the corridor for a moment, before suddenly realizing that Josh still had a firm grip on her hand.

One of the voices taunted her at this realization. Although that may have just been her conscience. It could be hard to tell some days. Especially just after all the screaming that occasionally plagued her. But part of Dawn was happy to have him here. He was like a sunny day, and no matter how much he may annoy her, Dawn genuinely hoped they could maybe be something that’s kinda like a friend hopefully? Dawn kept holding onto his hand and let him lead her. She could trust him.

In front of Dawn, Josh was panicking. What just happened? Why was Dawn panicking and crying? Why did he think it would be a good idea to take her back to the dorms through this way? Oh gosh what if she thought he was trying something. Internally Josh screamed at the thought that she might think even worse of him.

Ever since they had met, there had been accident upon accident that had messed Josh’s chances of being friends with Dawn and the last thing he wanted was for her to think he was a bad person. After all, the last few weeks had shown him a lot more about Dawn then he had originally thought.

She wasn’t an emotionless brick who hated people. She had been the mystery person who kept helping everyone behind the scenes and not accepting any of the credit. But what was up with what had just happened? She looked so unusually and absolutely terrified. The way her eyes had flashed between her usual blueish pupils and a fully black iris had left Josh feeling a panic he couldn’t quite place. Not to mention she had actually given him a hug. THAT was different.

Josh turned to look at Dawn. Her breathing had slowed and she seemed much calmer. It was too dark to see her exact expression, but he could see that it was more relaxed. She noticed him looking and they both immediately whipped their heads to break eye contact. Which was probably a good thing, because Josh could feel himself turning pink with embarrassment.

They kept walking in silence, each consumed in their own thoughts until they reached what looked like a dead end. Josh pushed another nail and another secret door swung open to reveal the common room. Fumbling, Josh edged his way into the room, with Dawn trailing slowly behind him.

She didn’t look up at him, but rather looked at her feet awkwardly and tried to stitch a sentence together in her mind. Now that they were away from the party, it had all seemed so ridiculous. Why had she been panicking, it was just a party? Why had she been let herself be so vulnerable? Dawn dropped Josh’s hand and walked quickly to her door. Nope. She wasn’t here to get attached to people, let alone Blondie. Nope. Not today or ever. She determined to make herself hate him some more. Yet, she couldn’t seem to leave without saying something.

“Thank you. I’m sorry you had to see that. Please- please don’t tell the others what happened.”

Josh looked up from where he was closing the trap door and smiled.

“Of course. “ he paused. “And hey, if you ever need someone to talk too, I’m all ears.”

Dawn shut the door.

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: Strictly Dramione (Part 5)

Strictly Dramione's Valentines Day Smut Fest 2019:

The Love Letters of Her Life by SlytherinHermione - T, one-shot - The one truth about life is death, the true meaning of life is love...Hermione reads the love letters that Draco had given her for Valentine's Day throughout the years.

Be Mine, Hermione. by monsterleadmehome - E, one-shot - It's Valentine's Day and Hermione has been receiving mysterious paper hearts from a secret admirer for a week. She has no clue who the culprit could be, but he seems to know her better than almost anyone. He ends each note with "Be mine, Hermione."

XXXXII, or: The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. by TheLastLynx - E, one-shot - Hermione is incensed by sexist advice shared at work, but Draco makes her feel better - many times. A delicious battle of the sexes. Written for the SD Valentine's Fest.

Soaked by Stargazing121 - M, one-shot - She tripped. She’d been tripping all week and always when he was around to catch her. It hit him like a bludger to the head. “Granger," Draco said, "have you been hitting on me? Literally.”

Virtue and Vice by ravenslight - E, one-shot - Hermione Granger is going to seduce Draco Malfoy, but she needs the help of her old school uniform and a poorly-laid plan to do so. If the Slytherins wanted a show, then a show they would get. Written for Strictly Dramione's Valentine's Day Smut Fest. Prompt #111: Go to Yale.

Meeting Mr. Malfoy by gracediamondsfear - E, one-shot - Hermione Granger is an archivist at Malfoy Magical Pharmaceuticals and she's long harbored a crush for her boss' boss...Draco Malfoy. However, given that she's only spoken to him three times, she's worried that it may all be for naught. A helpful suggestion from an issue of Witch Weekly gives her an idea: Polish up on introductions, learn to do them gracefully. But when will she get the opportunity? Thankfully a broken down lift intervenes to save the day.

Tuesday - Men Don't Like a Sick Woman by EmeraldEyedDreamer - E, one-shot - A/N: Prompt 55: Take care of your health. Men don't like a sick woman.

Desperately by LadyKenz347 - not rated, one-shot - When Hermione finds her self signed up for the Ministry's Hiking Club Valentine Retreat, she knows there are two things to blame. Ginny Potter & Witch Weekly's Valentine Edition, showcasing 129 Ways To Land Yourself A Husband.When Ginny and Harry don't show for the hike, Hermione is left to her clumsy amblings with her hiking partner, Draco Malfoy.For Strictly Dramione's Valentine SmutFest 2019.

One of the Boys by CourtingInsanity - E, one-shot - An outdated magazine article, unresolved sexual tension between two co-workers, and it's the day before Valentine's Day... Enjoy!

Worth It by StormageddonDarkLadyOfAll - E, one-shot -  Hermione has been summoned to Lucius Malfoy to discuss her role in Draco's life now the two are engaged. When Hermione is faced with blackmail, will she choose to walk away from Draco or will she decide that Draco, and the life they couold have together, is worth it? Written for the Strictly Dramione 2019 SmutFest.

Asking for Advice? by DietCokeofEvil - M, one-shot - Hermione has a crush on Draco and can't figure out how to let him know. Enter Molly Weasley and her sneaky placement of the "129 ways to find a husband" and nervy friend Theo prodding her to try out one of the suggestions...

Ensnaring The Boarder by WasserMama - M, one-shot - Hermione is unhappy with her love life. Molly Weasley has recruited her to help with a project. When the two coincide, things heat up.

The Portkey by SparkleDreams_78 - M, one-shot - Minister for Magic, Hermione Granger, lives a private life. Draco Malfoy returns to Britain, years after leaving her in the dead of night with no word and seeks her out. A surprise from Hermione, a helping hand from their friends and a magazine article inspires Draco to give Hermione a Valentine's Day surprise of her own. Can she trust him not to break her heart again?

Hanky Panky by BoredRavenvlaw620 - M, one-shot - Tip 38 said, 'Dropping the Handkerchief still works.' Hermione Granger learns a lesson in coquettery from none other than Draco Malfoy.

Will You Stay? by articcat621 - E, one-shot -   Hermione finally takes Draco to meet her parents.

Forever Dilating Eye by greenaleydis - E, one-shot - Draco should have known better than to get involved with one of Granger's notorious experiments for the Department of Mysteries. In any case, he'd never view portkeys the same way. Written for Strictly Dramione's Valentines Smut Fest.

Gifts from a secret admirer by DragonFireWitch  - M, one-shot - Hermione has been buying gifts and with Valentines Day around the corner, she's hoping her efforts have paid off.

Flight of the Wingwoman by Mamapotterhead2492 - E, one-shot - Hermione is trying to woo Draco using 129 tips how to get a husband from an 1958 issue of Witch Weekly. #24: Don't be afraid to hang around more attractive girls, they are sure to have leftovers.

The Reunion by crochetaway - E, one-shot- Hermione Granger has been thirsting after Draco Malfoy for at least a year. She has been trying to woo him, using some not-so-great techniques from an old 1950's version of Witch Weekly. Technique number 23 appears to be the one that finally works for her.

Calvin & Hobbes by Kyonomiko - M, one-shot - Draco has just about had enough of Hermione Granger. Always lurking, watching... probably judging. But the jokes at his expense? Well, now he intends to put an end to whatever game she's playing.

What's Your Poison? by Sonomia - M, one-shot -  Hermione is fed up with Draco and his constant aggravating - what will she do to finally make him quit? What lengths will she go to to find peace?

A Purity of Brokenness by Gryff_inTheGame - E, one-shot - The sun is slowly coming to rise and his world is beginning to end. The fresh roses he had delivered this morning are blooming but his soul wants to wither and fade. He still has Valentine's Day to make it up to her. He still has time, doesn't he? The thought lingers longer than it should.

Love Shot by captainmalfoy - E, one-shot - The anniversary edition of Witch Weekly is out, and Hermione has to choose from one of the 129 tips they suggest to find a man thanks to peer pressure from her friends. She decides on Number 50 - Practice your drinking with your women friends first. Seems harmless, until she gets to the club and comes face to face with Draco Malfoy.

A Proper Seduction by tofadeawayagain - E, one-shot - Hermione Granger has been giving her boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, all of the signals that she wants to take their relationship a step further. He doesn't seem to want to, and she's getting impatient. Can some tips from an old issue of Witch Weekly help her seduce him? Written for the Strictly Dramione Valentine's Day Smut Fest 2019. Prompt: Tip #78 - Give his mother a birthday card.

A Surprising Valentine Date by LunaRavenclaw9  - E, one-shot - Hermione should know better than to strike a bet with a Weasley, especially when it concerns asking out one Draco Lucius Malfoy. Hermione may realize she could really enjoy losing for once.

Ferris Wheel Mile High Club by ruthy4vrsmoaked  - E, one-shot -  Hermione bribes the Ferris Wheel Operator for a special ride on the London Eye. She wanted a very special Valentine's Day...

A Good Kind of Madness by Rosella_Burgundy  - E, one-shot - After Hermione confesses that she has a soft spot for a certain coworker, Ginny helps her catching him in the Quidditch changing room.***In a cascade of burgundy hair, Ginny slumped down on the sofa and without thinking twice, opened the issue at a precise page. “Here. One hundred and twenty nine tips on how to find a husband. The most popular article in Witch Weekly history. Dated 1958. So, some of them might be a little sexist, hilarious, or archaic, but it's worth a shot. Against a Malfoy, we need heavy weaponry and old fashioned witchy tricks.”***

Intoxicated By You by TheMourningMadam  - E, one-shot - Hermione Granger never expected to be bent over the bar where she served dozens of patrons daily, only to be shagged mercilessly by the blond-haired git she had avoided for so long. But with a little push from an archaic magazine article and her two friends, this is precisely what happens. Based on the Prompt: Ask your friends' husbands who the eligible men are in their offices.

Lucky Number Eleven by fandomfairytales - E, one-shot - Hermione sets out to woo Draco, deciding to use some of the 129 tips on how to find a husband as printed in an old edition of Witch Weekly from 1958. Needless to say, the suggestions are sexist, archaic, and downright hilarious.

No name, no address by MicekMucek - E, one-shot - Hermione makes a list on her 31st birthday of things she wants to accomplish in the next year, including trying to seduce her two-year crush, Draco, by Valentine's Day. But, is her chosen method ever going to work?

Truth and Dare by Lilian_Silver - E, one-shot - February 13th, 2009. Pansy Parkinson is hosting a Galentine's Day party filled with familiar faces from Hogwarts, far too much alcohol, and an advanced version of the classic "truth or dare" - Hermione's dare leads her to outcomes she never would have predicted in her wildest dreams... except that that was just a common turn of phrase... she'd actually been dreaming of such outcomes for quite some time.

The Fairlane Affair by grace_lou_freebush - E, one-shot - It's Valentine's Day, and Hermione is stuck at work for the Misuse of Magic Department when she gets a memo to report to Muggle London with Obliviator Draco Malfoy. While driving down a dark alley "short-cut," their 1950s Ford Fairlane car breaks down. Written for the Strictly Dramione's Valentine's Day Smut Fest 2019!

Juror Six by Frumpologist - M, one-shot - Hermione has tried everything to get Draco to notice her. Finally, she decides to encroach on his place of employment to catch attention.

A Valentine's Business Conference by noxsoulmate - M, one-shot - 129 crazy tips in an old issue of Witch Weekly - and Hermione had to pick this one. # 27: Get a part-time job in a convention bureau. It was stupid and irrational and did she already mention crazy? Never, ever would it help her get Draco’s attention, let alone have him fall for her. So how exactly did she end up here, at Draco Malfoy’s Valentine’s Ball. And as his date, nonetheless?

We’ll Always Have Paris… and Venice, and Moscow, and Amsterdam, and Perth, and Hong Kong, and New York, and Madrid by LovesBitca8 - E, one-shot - Witch Weekly's "129 Ways to Woo Your Wizard" has some pretty outlandish suggestions. But Hermione is determined to woo her recently divorced co-worker. Even if she has to drag him to a different continent.

Valentine's kNight Surprises by PotionChemist - M, one-shot - Since her breakup with Ron Weasley, Hermione has a rather strange Valentine's Night tradition... After drinking too much, she ends up on the Knight Bus and encounters our favorite blonde Slytherin. Hermione decides to follow an outdated tip from a Witch Weekly article on how to find a husband... #22 “On a plane, train or bus, don’t sit next to a woman. Sit next to a man.”

Kink Inside the Box by IRisEaGLeS - M, one-shot - Girl's Tea is time for the girls to get together and talk. And do they ever talk. Gossip turned to sex, as expected. So when Valentine's Day comes around, Hermione comes up with a group plan 'How to Woo a Wizard for the Modern Witch' dated 1958. Each lady gets a way to woo their wizard and Hermione's is 'Carry in a Hatbox'. What is in the hatbox will make Draco Malfoy shiver and it isn't always good.

Exposure by BiscuitsForPotter - E, one-shot - Hermione has been attracted for her best friend for years. Draco Malfoy, now a famous photographer, is absolutely gorgeous and completely oblivious. Hermione wants to make him realize how she feels about him, but she'll have to step out of her comfort zone to get there.

Innocent? by Snowflake_Dazzle - E, one-shot - Hermione is shown an old copy of Witch Weekly with 129 tips on how to get a husband. Pansy challenges her to attempt number 101: Remain Innocent but not Ignorant. Valentine's Day sounds like a great time to try, right?

Perfect Punishment by Art3misiA - M, one-shot -  Hermione and Draco have hit a bump in the road, thanks to the untimely end of Pansy's budding romance. While attempting to find a way to help Pansy move forward and so allow her and Draco to pick up where they left off, Hermione unexpectedly finds inspiration in an edition of Witch Weekly from 1958.

How To Seduce Draco by LittleTrooper99 - M, one-shot - Hermione seduces Draco using a prompt she read in an old magazine. Don't let him know how much your clothes cost

Ride by Smile4meDraco - E, one-shot - There are 129 ways for one to snag a husband, or so they say. Hermione doesn't care to test that theory, but when Draco Malfoy persuades her to participate for Valentine's day will she become a firm believer?

Of Masks and Taxes by perilous_circumstance - E, one-shot - Hermione is sick of Draco being so damn polite.

Christmas Fest 2019:

Land of Ice and Snow by fandomfairytales - not rated, WIP - It's a well-known fact Hermione Granger loves her husband more than anything. When a Christmas miracle provides an opportunity to right a few wrongs in his past, she finds herself faced with numerous difficult choices and a young Draco Malfoy fast approaching a moment that if he survives, will change the entire course of his life for the better.

In the Blink of an Eye by PotionChemist - T, one-shot - Sometimes, things just happen in the blink of an eye.Christmas Eve, during Deathly Hallows.

The Alpha, The Omega and a Christmas tree too by weestarmeggie - E, one-shot - “I already know she’s cursed him three times this week. Apparently he’s made more than one comment about how he can smell that she’s about to go into heat.” Draco’s glass shattered beneath his grip and Ginny hummed quietly into her cranberry juice. “I knew she hadn’t told you.”OrDraco and Hermione attend the Annual Ministry Christmas Gala hours before her heat strikes.

Singing Sweetly Through the Night by TheMourningMadam - M, one-shot - “No one should be alone at Christmas, least of all you. You’re a good father, no matter what happened between us.”

All I Want for Christmas by VirgoDraconis - M, one-shot - Draco and Hermione have already had their first chance at marriage. One is a widower, the other divorced. Now they are older and wiser. Will they take a second chance on love?

Party Lines by PacificRimbaud - E, one-shot - As the dust settles in the 2000 United States Presidential election, Ivy League student Hermione Granger goes to three different parties, in an effort to think about something- anything- other than the state of Florida.So does that argumentative trust fund prick, Draco Malfoy.A non-magical AU all about enemies who...aren't.

Christmas Darlings by ViolaMoon - T, one-shot - Christmas is Draco's favourite time of year and the Christmas Eve ball for his charity Narcissa's Darlings is the perfect opportunity for him to make his move and give back to others.

Cracking Christmas by DrunkOnAmortentia - T, one-shot - Hermione tries to get Draco in the holiday spirit, but he’s perplexed by her Muggle Christmas traditions.

Christmas Gifts by scullymurphy - M, one-shot - Hermione snapped to attention, “Hullo, Malfoy, I believe I had this first,” she said sweetly, but with steel in her tone, tugging the book toward her as they both lifted it off the shelf.He didn’t let go.“Ahh, Granger,” he replied. “I think I actually cadged it by a half second.” This said with a raised eyebrow and slight dip of his chin.Hermione tightened her grip, bracing herself against such weapons as charm and rakish eyebrows, but damn he was gorgeous. He’d certainly changed from the pale, pointed bully of their school days. He was now tall, elegant - described in the gossip rags as ‘the dashing former death-eater’. And she didn’t know if it was privilege, perfect bone structure, or always having the best of everything - but he had a je nais se quoi that made her want to look at him.“Granger?”She gave herself a mental shake, “Em, that tactic might work on the witches you mix with, Malfoy, but I’m quite certain that I was here first. And I need this book to finish my Christmas list. It goes home with me.” She tugged the book, and him, toward her.His eyebrows went up again, but he didn’t relinquish his grip. In fact, her pulled her closer.

A Christmas Surprise by Snowflake_Dazzle - T, one-shot - Draco leaves for an Auror mission right before Christmas and the birth of their first child. Guess what Draco's getting for Christmas.

Staring At Your Face by HollyBrianne - G, one-shot - Draco's second Christmas at the Burrow goes much better than his first.

For The Girl Who Is Everything by EscapingArtist - G, one-shot - It's Christmas, and Draco is faced with a nearly impossible task...what do you get for the girl who is everything to you?

Christmas in The Coatroom by gracediamondsfear - E, one-shot - By request, the continuing story of Mr. M and Kitten.Draco hates the Ministry Christmas Party but attendance is mandatory. However, this yearnsome interesting news about Hermione Granger has finally put him in the holiday spirit. Rated E for completely unnecessary filth.

Milk Stains by Guardian_Kysra - M, one-shot - Hermione and Draco are new parents and neither of them is coping very well for very different reasons.

Chicken Soup for the Witches Soul by HufflepuffMommy - not rated, one-shot - Hermione is sad on Christmas and Draco tries to make her feel better with her mums chicken soup.

Mince Pies and Other Delights by TheImperfectionista - G, one-shot - Twas the night before Christmas and all Draco wanted was to ignore the holidays was happening. If only the world would stop reminding him of the joys during this festive time.

Draco's Gift by TriDogMom - M, one-shot - Draco gives Hermione a gift because of an instructional YouTube video.

This fest is ongoing.

[thenightling]

Why I’m not looking forward to Captain Marvel as much as I thought I should have...

1.   This is petty but this is my biggest complaint.  I have NEVER liked the Skrulls.  They bore me.  So many people seem thrilled that the skrulls are going to be used as the villains but I have never liked them.  I’m a thirty-seven-year-old woman.  I have read enough comics to have seen the skrulls used as a long-term retcon device to undo events Marvel wasn’t thrilled with.  “Don’t like that marriage? The bride was a skrull all along!” “Oh, that character’s personality has been a mess for over a decade?  Skrull!”   It got annoying and was used too often as a “Get out of trouble free” card by Marvel.  A great villain can make a story (Xanatos in Disney’s Gargoyles or Loki in Thor) while a weak or poorly written villain can ruin it.   And the skrulls, by their very existence, are a disappointment to me.  

2.    I don’t like how the marketing, news outlets, and blogs treat her as the first female hero.  I don’t know why this narrative is being used.   Does no one remember Wonder Woman?  I loved Wonder Woman.  I still love Wonder Woman.  Wonder Woman did well but I still feel it’s underrated and didn’t get as much attention as it deserves.  My only complaint about Wonder Woman is I don’t like that it claimed most of the Greek Gods were dead.  I’d rather there had been a twist showing Zeus alive at the end and proud of her or something to that effect.  

Also (though they didn’t do as well) there were female heroes in the lead in movies before.  Elektra, Cat Woman and Super girl come to mind.   Not to mention Marvel’s own cinematic Black Widow, Wasp, and Scarlet Witch- who though haven’t had their own movies deserve respect and should not be erased to suit a narrative.   

3.    I don’t like that they changed Captain Marvel’s origin.  I don’t know the specifics of her new origin yet other than that she was experimented on by the kree.  This makes her too much of a victim (in my opinion) in her own origin. 

I read that the explanation they gave for changing her origin is “It was too much like Green Lantern” but I don’t think that’s true at all.  Sure, both were passing of the mantle stories but that’s about it.   I liked her origin as it was given in the animated series Avengers; Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.   That was close to the comics.   This new origin (Thus far) reminds me a bit too much like The Winter Soldier.  The whole being experimented on and having to rediscover her humanity thing being suggested.  

4.   I’m worried about the whole “She’s the strongest hero in all of the MCU” and “it all starts with her” statements.   Swap that out with any hero and I worry that we’re in for a Gary Stu or Mary Sue.  Let the movie prove me wrong, please.     

5.    I’m not really a fan of Brie Larson.   I’m just not.  I’ve seen her treat people not-very-nicely on social media and it’s a bit of a turn off.   (I don’t mean sexually turn off.  I mean a turn off on the personality. I don’t like how James Woods treats people either). 

One specific incident is when she publicly shamed a man for asking for her phone number when she smiled at him.  She used this as the excuse to start a feminist tangent that this person dared ask for her number because she smiled at him.  That’s cruel and humiliating.  If a man (or woman) smiled at me and I thought they were attractive and if I was a little socially braver I might do that.   Something about her sharing that story rubbed me the wrong way.  It was like seeing a bully in a high school saying “Eww, can you believe the dweeb thought I might be interested? That is like so gross.” I didn’t feel very empowered by her reaction.  She could have just said “I’m sorry, I’m just not interested.” I know turning people down can be awkward but she didn’t need to rant on social media about it as a public figure.  The poor guy was probably humiliated enough.

 6. There are people saying things like “If you’re not with Captain Marvel you’re a self-loathing misogynist.” (Seriously. There’s already woman against womn bullying if you aren’t interested in the movie or question it.)  And I can’t help but think... Again?  Didn’t we get enough of this bullying from “supporters” of the 2016 Ghostbusters?   I loved Wonder Woman. The only complaint about Wonder Woman I have is I want The Gods to be alive.   Wonder Woman was a pleasant surprise for me.  I feared the worst since DC films hadn’t been all that great until then so I was very much pleasantly surprised.  I HOPE Captain Marvel is better than it seems right now.  I will check it out.  I just don’t want to feel obligated to like it.   

Note: I’ll still see the movie.  I’m still curious.  I just have a few issues and there they are in a nutshell.

[aion-rsa]

From Dog Soldiers to The Reckoning: Neil Marshall Revisits His Filmogrpahy

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Ever since launching his career in 2002 with the independent action-horror thriller, Dog Soldiers—a bracing, fresh werewolves-vs.-soldiers exercise—the writer and director Neil Marshall has been devoted to genre filmmaking. His second film, The Descent, is a generally acknowledged modern horror classic, and since then he’s branched out to post-apocalyptic action, historical thrillers and high fantasy before returning again to horror.

His sixth and latest film, The Reckoning, stars Charlotte Kirk (who co-wrote the script) as a young woman who is accused of witchcraft in northern England in 1665 after losing her husband to the Great Plague. With its period setting and story of unjust persecution and hysteria directed against women in particular, The Reckoning (which just premiered on Shudder) channels some of the old Hammer Studios vibe, as well as that of iconic British films on the same topic like Witchfinder General.

For Marshall, The Reckoning represents a return to the genre that gave him his start and to his early independent days, following 2019’s poorly received reboot of the horror-themed Hellboy franchise. The latter film was his first feature in nine years, during which time he directed episodes of high-profile TV shows like Westworld, Hannibal and most notably Game of Thrones while trying to get various theatrical projects off the ground.

With The Reckoning now making its premiere on Shudder, Marshall is already at work on his next film, a horror outing called The Lair. He says it’s “a bit different from The Reckoning… it’s going to be full-on action, monsters, guns, explosions, the works, blood and guts.” With Marshall now seemingly back on track with feature films, we thought this would be a good moment to take a look back at his career to date.

The Beginning

Marshall was born in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, England, and he says that he was inspired to become a filmmaker when he saw Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time in his youth:

“I’m definitely a product of the nerd generation of the ’80s, and proud of it,” he confirms. “Raiders is the movie that got me into making movies. I was already a big movie fan, just like anybody. But when I saw Raiders, it just changed everything, as did watching The Making of Raiders of the Lost Ark on TV. I just thought, ‘That’s what I want to do with my life,’ and never looked back.”

Interestingly, Marshall says that his one unrealized dream project to date harkens back to the impact that Raiders had on him:

“There’s one in particular, a project called Eagle’s Nest…I always wanted to do my Indiana Jones project, my Raiders kind of project, and Eagle’s Nest is very much in that vein. It’s set during World War II, but it’s not a war movie as such. It’s an adventure/action movie. It’s kind of like Die Hard meets Where Eagles Dare, or Indiana Jones meets James Bond. Spies and soldiers and things. It’s full-on action adventure. That’s my dream project, and I still dream of one day getting it made.”

Pathe

Dog Soldiers (2002)

After attending university, Marshall spent a number of years as a freelance film editor before finally getting the chance to direct his first feature film, Dog Soldiers, from an original screenplay he had written. The taut, low-budget thriller revolved around a squad of British soldiers who are attacked in a remote house by a pack of werewolves. For Marshall, it was his chance at last to pursue his dream of making films.

“It was a six-year process of getting it written and getting it financed and getting it made, and it was just stubborn determination,” the director says. “But finally getting there and finally getting on set was just amazing, so satisfying. It was finally achieving a dream that I set about 20 years earlier, really.”

On whether anything surprised him about his first time as a feature director, he adds, “Well, I had directed stuff before. I’d done some short films and some TV things. This was my first feature, but it wasn’t completely new to me. But I was so well-read at the time. I’d spent my teenage years reading nothing but Starlog and Fantastic Films, and all that kind of stuff and learning how these things work. So it wasn’t a complete surprise. I think the main thing was, is just how exciting it all was.”

Werewolves, which were the film’s monsters, hadn’t been seen on the screen in a while at that time. Marshall suspected this would make the film a refreshing change of pace.

“I didn’t want to do the classic Curse of the Werewolf story, which is essentially what all werewolf films had been up until that point,” says Marshall. “I wanted to do essentially Aliens with werewolves, in which they’re just a ferocious enemy and really difficult to kill, and who they are as people is irrelevant.”

Pathe

The Descent (2005)

Next was Marshall’s 2005 film The Descent, in which six women go exploring in a cave system and discover that the tunnels are inhabited by cannibalistic humanoid creatures. A staple of “best horror of the 2000s” lists ever since its release, The Descent was not only genuinely terrifying but groundbreaking in its use of an all-female cast, which was originally not the case.

“I think when I wrote the first draft of it, it was mixed,” Marshall recalls. “When I pitched the treatment, I think then it was a mixed group. I’d done such a testosterone group of men or whatever with Dog Soldiers, part of me was like, ‘Well, let’s just do the complete opposite of that.’

“Then the more research I did into the world of caving and climbing and outdoor sports, it turns out, it’s a really heavily populated by women, and they do everything that the men do. So I just kind of figured, well, why not? Why not have an all-female group? It makes it very different. It made it different from anything that I’d seen for a while, and it came about that way.”

On the inspiration for the horrifying creatures in the caves, called “crawlers?”

“The creatures just came from trying to pare things down to a very, very basic form. I had great difficulty with the werewolves on Dog Soldiers. The guys in the suits, they couldn’t see very well. They were on stilts, so they were really limited in how they could move. Even for a practical effect, they couldn’t move around that well. I wanted to dispense with all that and have the crawlers be as freeform as possible.

“The whole point of the crawlers was that they were meant to be humans who evolved to live in caves,” he continues. “They’re the caveman that stayed in the cave. Whereas the rest of us left and evolved, they stayed in the caves and devolved to live in darkness. They were always essentially going to be human, so that really just required some basic prosthetics. But beyond that, they would just be people. That gave me so much more freedom of movement and allowed them to be fast and agile.”

Universal

Doomsday (2008)

The Descent was a critical and financial success, earning some $57 million on a budget of less than $5 million. It opened the doors for Marshall to begin entertaining offers to direct bigger films, and soon Rogue Pictures (a division of Universal) gave the director a budget of more than $24 million to make Doomsday, his homage to post-apocalyptic action movies of the ‘70s and ‘80s in which Scotland is sealed off due to a deadly virus.

“Doomsday touches upon two things that have cropped up in later work,” Marshall says. “One was the building of a wall to separate two countries, particularly England and Scotland. And then the other one is a viral outbreak, which comes into play in The Reckoning, as well. And the wall reappears in Centurion. It also, I guess, figured in my Game of Thrones episode.”

On the eerie relevancy of doing a movie about a country sealed off because of a viral outbreak, he says, “It was very strange that end of last year, I think it was, when the second wave [of COVID-19] hit, that they closed off the border between England and Scotland. I just thought, ‘This is Doomsday. It’s happening right now. Only a matter of time before they build a wall.’ But yeah, it has been quite scary, especially with The Reckoning, as well. Who could have seen it coming, you know?”

Doomsday was also the first time Marshall had major Hollywood studio resources to work with, which made it a strikingly different experience.

“It was great having much better resources to do a lot more crashes and explosions and things like that. It was a big action movie, it required all those bells and whistles, and we got them all, so that was fantastic… We had more time to shoot it, which was great. I loved that. Because we were filming it down in Cape Town, in South Africa, we didn’t really have the studio on our backs at all. We were let loose to do it. It was one of the most fun experiences I’ve had making a movie.”

Magnet Releasing

Centurion (2010)

For his next film, Marshall turned to the early history of Britain and its resistance to the Roman Empire for inspiration. The result was Centurion, which starred Michael Fassbender, Dominic West and Olga Kurylenko in a violent tale based on the legendary disappearance of the Roman Empire’s Ninth Spanish Legion in what is now northern England and Scotland in the second century. A.D.

“It’s very loosely based,” Marshall explains. “It’s based more on a legend than the history. The history unfortunately disproved the legend. It’s a classic example of the quote, ‘When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.’ The facts aren’t very interesting, but that’s historians doing their thing. Until then, it was a legend that I really liked, the legend of the 9th Legion that marched into Scotland and disappeared without a trace.”

Even though historians have since argued that the Legion wasn’t wiped out in battle with northern England or Pictish tribes as long believed, Marshall was still fascinated with the story:

“My whole kind of thing was, ‘Well, why and how? If it disappeared, how did they disappear? Did none of them survive? If no one survived, how do we even know about it?’ So that’s when I came up with the story of the lone survivor and trying to explain it in logical terms. Nothing supernatural or anything of that, but logical terms of how they were massacred and why.”

As with several others of his films, Marshall also saw contemporary reflections in the story.

“When we were making it, it seemed very relevant to what was going on in Iraq and Afghanistan, with the insurgents fighting the oppressors. Telling the story from the Romans’ point of view made it a bit more interesting, because they were the invading army and the other side were freedom fighters. Because we were telling the Romans point of view, it was kind of like, ‘Well, they’re our heroes—but are they?’ I just thought that was really, really interesting.”

Lionsgate

Hellboy (2019)

Hellboy, which was not a sequel to the two films made by Guillermo del Toro and which starred Ron Perlman, featured David Harbour as the title demon from Mike Mignola’s long-running comics. Marshall’s first feature in nine years landed with a loud thud both at the box office and with critics.

“It was one of those things,” the director says now. “The reason I was away from features for nine years was not out of choice. I was trying to get my features made during that time. But because of the revolution in television, there was a certain kind of budget level that I had been working in that disappeared from features and was now going into television, during a transition period of the last 10, 15 years. And I couldn’t find anybody to finance films at that kind of level.”

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Marshall says that when he was initially approached about Hellboy, the idea was to create more of a straight forward horror movie version of the character:

“That appealed to me, and obviously getting a chance to do a feature was a big thing. Despite my reservations or whatever, I jumped at it, because it was a chance to do a feature after nine years. I wanted to get back in the game. But I made an unwise decision, because I should have based my choice purely on whether the script was any good. Unfortunately, the script was never any good, and there’s only so much a director can do.”

Marshall notes that the problems with the Hellboy script arose from confusion over what kind of film it was supposed to be.

“I’ve said it a few times before, you can’t polish a turd. Even the best director in the world can’t make a masterpiece out of a script that was substandard. This was a confused script from the start, combining different stories and sticking rigidly to the comics, which worked fine as graphic novels. But when you translate them to the screen, there are gaping plot holes.

“Unfortunately, the producers just didn’t care. They brought me in so they could tell me what to do. They didn’t really want to make a horror version of it at all, because I was the most experienced horror person involved in the entire production, and I wasn’t allowed to touch the script. I wasn’t allowed to bring any kind of horror essence to it. So it just ended up as a disaster, really. It was just a mess, and a deeply unpleasant experience. That’s the price that I paid for making the wrong choice, or making it for the wrong reasons specifically.”

Shudder

The Reckoning (2021)

Going back to his roots with The Reckoning was a “breath of fresh air” after Hellboy, Marshall says in 2021.

“It was the complete opposite,” he explains. “On Hellboy, I had lots of money and no creative input. On this one, I had full creative control over the piece and no money. But that was a good sacrifice to make because the experience of making The Reckoning—even though we had less money, less time, whatever—was just creatively way more satisfying. It was good to just get back to my roots and get stuck in there and make this little movie that I’m really proud of.”

The director says that he wanted to capture the tone of some of the iconic Hammer horrors from the ‘60s and ‘70s with The Reckoning while the subject matter touched on themes expressed in horror classics like Witchfinder General or Mark of the Devil.

“I felt that there hadn’t really been anything made in that particular period or about that kind of subject matter, the witch hunter in particular,” says Marshall. “There have been witch movies obviously, but not the witch hunter. That kind of vibe, and that Hammer kind of vibe as well, hadn’t been done for a while. But the reason to do it at all was because I felt that it was relevant today for a modern audience… witch hunts are still going on today. They just take on a different form. And certainly, misogyny and female persecution has not gone anywhere in the intervening hundreds of years since our story took place.”

Marshall also notes that he missed being part of the horror film festival circuit, a thriving subculture in its own right.

“I actually wanted to get back on the horror circuit, as far as the festival circuit is concerned, because I loved that experience with my first movie,” he explains. “Going around the world, going to these incredible festivals, meeting the fans, engaging with the fans and also meeting other filmmakers. It’s so inspiring doing that. That was my hope with The Reckoning, but of course, all that went out the window with COVID. But fingers crossed, we’ll be back full strength and next year will be great.”

The Reckoning is currently streaming on Shudder.

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The post From Dog Soldiers to The Reckoning: Neil Marshall Revisits His Filmogrpahy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[misterbitches]

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

[thesinglesjukebox]

TAYLOR SWIFT - DELICATE

[7.08]

Clawing her way back up the sidebar...

Tobi Tella: The point on Reputation where the mask drops, "Delicate" is amazing because it's not afraid to be afraid. The slow dreamy admission of the seeds of a relationship forming in the verses followed by the panicked questions of the chorus trying to discern how much emotion it's cool to show these days. Not to mention the fantastic bridge and the great vocoder intro. Say what you want about Taylor Swift as a person, but the girl can still write a good song. [9]

Alex Clifton: Much of Reputation is a series of masks and bravado, and the choice of "Look What You Made Me Do" didn't turn people fully onto to the concept of the project. But here Taylor goes quiet, chilled, and tentative, which has always been one of the more successful hallmarks of her music. We know she's not actually the everygirl these days--she's living in another stratosphere, and the songs on Reputation remind of us of the fact that us plebeians don't have celebrity feuds and can't go out drinking at Sunset & Vine. But the doubt and insecurity that come with every new relationship--is it cool that I said all that, is it chill that you're in my head--aches with realness. Forget the cameos from famous friends, forget the complaints of tilted stages, forget the awkward Elizabeth Taylor reference; Taylor's best reputation has always been as a singer who translates complicated feelings into song effortlessly, and she does fine work here. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Reputation was an interesting development after the haphazard and poorly written 1989, particularly for how Swift seemed to have a better handle on working with the production to capture specific emotions and experiences. While this was present in her earliest works, her lyrics often took precedence--be it in actuality or in listeners' minds--to everything else; the instrumentation was the stage that hosted her dramatic narratives. The equal importance of lyrics, vocal melodies, and production on Reputation, as well as the lack of immediate earworm hooks, made several tracks feel more experiential than anything she'd done in the past. It felt absolutely necessary to hear a track like "King of My Heart" or "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" to fully comprehend what Taylor Swift was trying to accomplish. While the lyrics weren't as specific, particular words and nuanced intonations became potent signifiers that led to her most visceral, lively songs to date. But for those who refuse to detect the Taylor Swift of old in "...Ready For It?" and "End Game," there's "Delicate." Like "New Year's Day," it's a half-baked song that gets excused by fans because of a couple lines that are perceptibly sensitive and emotive from miles away. While the sudden stripping of sound in the chorus is affecting, the rest of "Delicate" confuses a soft tepid beat for vulnerability. And as much as her vocalizing helps to make up for it, the awkward delivery in the bridge is a strong reminder that Reputation was still a stepping stone in many ways. [4]

Ian Mathers: Damn it, everything else about Taylor Swift either always has been or recently became so incredibly tiresome, why does this have to remind me of all the things I really liked about 1989? [7]

Stephen Eisermann: It's no surprise that the most Taylor song on Reputation is seeing the most success. Delicate in both composition and title, the track finds Taylor singing about the nerves and anxieties surrounding a new relationship. The vulnerability in Taylor's voice plays well with the metallic production, and the finished product makes me long for the album that would've succeeded 1989 had all the Kanye/Kim drama not gone down. We deserve that album. [8]

Elisabeth Sanders: As has been stated countless times, one of Taylor Swift's greatest talents is her acuity with detail, the way she can somehow make a tiny specificity feel universal, personal not just to her but to the listener. "Phone lights up my nightstand in the black," she sings at the beginning of "Delicate," and somehow that really does evoke that strange liminal feeling at the beginning of a crush, talking too late at night just because they're talking back, going out to meet someone even though it's too late just because they asked. "Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head?" the chorus asks, somehow both tentative and absolutely self-assured, the way you make fun of yourself just in case you're not supposed to mean it that much. [9]

Lauren Gilbert: So let's get the negatives out of the way first: this song contains Taylor Swift asking "is it chill that you're in my head?" A) anyone who has to ask if they're chill is definitely not chill, and B) Taylor, I love you and all, but "chill" has never been one of your defining qualities. Remember, you made a whole music video about it? But no matter how unchill she is (and she is extremely unchill; have you fucking heard "Enchanted"?), girl can write a song. This is sleek and loath as I am to say it, even sexy. It's certainly better advertisement for New York than "Welcome to New York"; what teenage girl in the Midwest doesn't daydream about meeting a handsome blue-eyed man in a chic Manhattan bar? You'll wake later in his giant white-sheeted bed, the city spread out beneath you. Never mind that a more typical experience of one's late 20s in New York involves rather more rats and blockchain bros; "Delicate" feels both cinematic and relatable. More successfully than anything else on Reputation, it straddles the divide between Old Taylor's everygirl persona (I mean, really, who has not gone "oh shit I should not have said that much" in front of a new crush) and New Taylor's Reputation. I have complicated feelings about Taylor Swift The Cultural Event, but Taylor Swift the Songwriter can still write a damn good track, and I -- another deeply unchill twenty-something, dreaming of possibilities and promises yet to come -- am still here for it. [9]

Will Adams: A glint of vulnerability that's a welcome refreshment in the Reputation era, unfortunately subsumed by trop-house bilge and tossed-off Manhattan references. [5]

Katherine St Asaph: Other than Sarah Jessica Parker, Rupert Murdoch, or people who get off to Corcoran listings, who lives in a "mansion," as opposed to a penthouse, condo, high-rise, brownstone, or shitty walk-up on the West Side? Wouldn't a mid-price high-rise offer better views than the spendiest third floor? What are the chances someone who lives in aforementioned mansion would hang out in a "dive bar on the East Side," even if it's in Murray Hill like you just know it is? Such are the perils of mishmashing into one supposedly relatable song the lifestyles of the New York 1%, the lifestyles of the slightly less rich New Yorker, and the lifestyle of whomever owns enough of a mansion to be the assumed source of the footsteps on the stairs, yet still refers to "girls back home." Even the Taylor Swift of "Fifteen" would find "my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me" laughably naive (gently-sisterly-pat-on-the-backly naive, at least). The same for the titular conceit -- never attribute to ~delicate 💗 love~ what can be explained by dudes being shitty. (The insistent "isn't it? isn't it?" would suggest she's doubtful too, if it didn't seem so much like songwriting filler.) The same for the beat kicking up as the story gets intimate, which seems backward; the same for emulating Francis and the Lights seeming like a timely thing to do. [4]

Matias Taylor: The vocoder, as if the ghost of her hidden desires, suits Taylor well as she dives into a classic millennial love story motif: anxiety over relationship status. This is also the most millennial her lyrics have ever sounded, with references to dive bars, "where you at"'s, and whether or not it's "chill" that she said all that. It's not just a calculated update for the Instagram era; she's still finding new pockets of experience to illuminate with her ability to zero into specific details and turn them into entire worlds of emotion, and the lyrics read as a genuine window into her life as a young adult. Whether it's the Disney villain glee of "Look What You Made Me Do" or the unrepentant devotion of "Don't Blame Me," Reputation is, among many things, an album about allowing herself to feel and fully embrace the emotions of each moment. And with "Delicate" she shows the self-doubt and reticence that may tempt her in that endeavour, particularly when someone else's feelings may be dependent on how she portrays her own. The Taylor on Reputation has several songs more to go before the closure and resolve of "New Year's Day," but for us listeners, hearing her moment of hesitation this finely articulated and brought to life by the music is an emotional high point in itself. [9]

Alfred Soto: CHVRCHES have waited their whole careers for a song that fits the rattling synthtastic regret they hear in their heads, and it had to be Taylor Swift who wrote it on her most ephemeral album. [6]

Rachel Bowles: It may be a low bar, but I love when a song does what it says on the tin. Being told but not shown is a common irksome misdemeanor in pop, lyrics disparate from music with no ironic intention (will.i.am is a persistent offender.) "Delicate"'s gentle yet insistent chorus, "is it cool?... is it chill?", quietly reflects the precarious nature of a nascent love affair. Is this mere flirtation, or could you become my everything? Taylor dares to dream but knows to tread softly, her vocoded vocals allow for a soft yet layered soundscape of second guessing, which when stripped back to her naked voice shows a vulnerable, romantic optimism. [9]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: A perfect encapsulation of what makes Swift a compelling writer and vocalist-- the way she moves between faux-conversational and melodramatic styles, in the transition between the soft "isn't it"s of the chorus and the vast yearning of the bridge, is maybe her best performance since "Blank Space." Yet it's wasted on a completely uninspired, sub-tropical house beat, too chill to elevate "Delicate" to anything more than a well-crafted love song that lacks some certain spark-- something you appreciate rather than fall for. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[ramajmedia]

Seinfeld: 10 Jokes That Have Aged Poorly | ScreenRant

For a show about nothing, Seinfeld has definitely managed to still be considered incredibly hilarious all of these years later. Watching Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), George (Jason Alexander), Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), and Kramer (Michael Richards) eat at their favorite diner, complain that everyone else is the worst, and generally get up to no good never gets old.

RELATED: Seinfeld: The 10 Worst Things Elaine Ever Did, Ranked

But even though we can turn on any episode of this sitcom and still laugh, it has to be pointed out that there are some scenes, episodes, and jokes that leave a lot to be desired. There are more than a few jokes that are a bit offensive today. Here are 10 jokes from Seinfeld that have aged poorly.

10 The Season 2 Pony Joke

In the second season episode "The Pony Remark," Jerry has a little speech that is pretty offensive today. He's at a dinner party with his parents and when he makes a joke that kids with ponies are the worst, his mom's cousin Manya (Rozsika Halmos) gets really upset.

As it turns out, she's from Poland and had a pony. Jerry says, "Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony." This isn't a nice or cool thing to say.

9 When George Asks About Holland

In the season 9 premiere "The Butter Shave," Jerry and George have a conversation about Holland, and George seems more than a little bit geographically challenged. He also sounds really offensive, making this another joke from Seinfeld that hasn't aged well.

RELATED: 10 Guest Stars We Forgot Were On Seinfeld

George asks, "What is Holland?" and when Jerry explains where it is, it turns out that George didn't know that Holland and the Netherlands are the same thing. It's hard not to cringe when George asks, "Then who are the Dutch?"

8 The Pilot Joke About Hugging

It's always fun to watch Jerry and George talk about their love lives, whether they're wondering how they can possibly understand the delicate art of dating or they're considering settling down (for a brief minute). But there are times throughout the series' nine seasons when the two characters go a bit too far.

In the pilot, the two pals are talking about hugging women, and it's a bit creepy to watch. Jerry says, "Although what if it's one of those hugs where the shoulders are touching, the hips are eight feet apart?" and George responds, "That's so brutal, I hate that." Why are they talking about this in such detail?

7 "The Chinese Woman"

It's honestly hard to believe that the season six episode "The Chinese Woman" even aired. The main storyline is that Jerry assumes Donna Chang (Angela Dohrmann) is of Chinese background. He chats with her on the phone and thinks this way due to her last name.

RELATED: Seinfeld: The 10 Worst Things Jerry Ever Did, Ranked

Making these kinds of cultural assumptions is never cool, and it's never funny, either. There must have been another storyline to put in its place, but instead, we got this joke that has definitely aged poorly.

6 Jerry's Massage Therapist Girlfriend

The gang on Seinfeld has pretty bad luck when it comes to dating. But when Jerry dates a massage therapist (Jennifer Coolidge) in the season five episode "The Masseuse," he feels he has the worst luck ever because she would rather not give him a massage.

This joke has aged poorly because it could be viewed as sexist. Instead of focusing on her as a person, Jerry becomes totally obsessed with wanting a massage, and this is all he can think about. This is a common theme in his love life.

5 Jerry's Virgin Girlfriend

When Jerry dates a woman who has never had sex, he and the rest of his friends constantly refer to her as "the virgin" instead of her name. There are many things wrong with this particular Seinfeld joke. For one thing, it's a shame that he shared something so private and personal with his friends.

For another, this woman has every right to make this decision for herself, and it's something that Jerry should treat in a more respectful manner. He keeps talking about how he's trying to make a move, which doesn't put him in a very good light.

4 Jerry's Joke In "The Checks"

The season eight episode "The Checks" has an incredibly problematic scene: Kramer has businessmen from Japan stay at his place and instead of actually giving them a legitimate bed or even the couch, he has them sleep in drawers. Yes. drawers.

RELATED: 10 Things That Make No Sense About Home Improvement

Jerry makes a joke, "This has international incident written all over it." It's easy to see that this was a misstep, and it's another joke that has aged poorly from this show.

3 The Black And White Cookie

The black and white cookie is a New York City classic. In the fifth season episode "The Dinner Party," Jerry says that he's having some stomach trouble, and Jerry says, "I think it was that cookie." Elaine asks, "The black and white?" and when Jerry says yes, she asks, "Not getting along?"

Race jokes are never funny, so this is another line from Seinfeld that doesn't hold up well today.

2 Kramer's Joke In "The Gymnast"

Continuing with the theme of Jerry dating women and making sexist jokes about them... In the sixth season episode "The Gymnast," Jerry is dating Katya (Elina Löwensohn), and Kramer makes a joke that is definitely offensive.

RELATED: 10 Hidden Details Everyone Missed In Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee

Kramer says, "Jerry, you stand on the threshold to the magical world of sensual delights that most men dare not dream of." It would be great if people could stop making jokes about women being "flexible." It can be tough to stomach.

1 "Not that there's anything wrong with that"

The infamous Seinfeld line "Not that there's anything wrong with that" is considered a classic, but when we think about it, it's a little problematic. In the season four episode "The Outing," a journalist thinks that George and Jerry are gay and in a relationship. They're very upset about this.

It's tough to imagine this storyline airing on a show in 2019. If it did, it wouldn't be a joke about how there's nothing wrong with it -- the characters would make a passionate speech about how everyone deserves respect.

NEXT: Psych: 10 Moments That Prove Shawn And Gus Are Friendship Goals

source https://screenrant.com/seinfeld-tv-show-jokes-aged-poorly/

[piddies0709]

Walking on Glass A little SJ fandom rant

Wow.... How about that new episode of Samurai Jack? Pretty trippy right? I mean, that part where he eats something and his head turns into a fish. Like how dose that work exactly? Pretty funny, huh? Heh...heh...heh... Where do I begin? So happen was, last night was the premiere of the new Samurai Jack season 5 episode 8, in which Jack and Ashi are making their way across the desert. Hmm... Why dose this sound familiar? Anyway, during their ride on a giant camel monster used as a bus, Jack and Ashi find themselves in a pretty close to each other and it is that this point where they're relationship takes quite a turn. During their journey, they come across a large spaceship to escape a dust storm. Only to find out that the ship is still infested by a leach monster. After they finally defeat it, at the heat of the moment Jack and Ashi then make out and that when the “fans” starting setting fire to their insides. 

 I said I was gonna get back to the messy subject and the hail storm of raging “fans” that apparently this episode has brought upon. After reading through a number of these hissy-fit heated debates, I couldn't help but laugh at a few, roll my eyes at most and have the rest cause me to put my hands in my face. Seriously, all it took was a kiss and some awkward but sweet bonding moments for people to get up in arms saying crap like “They ruined the show!” “How could you Genndy?” “The show's gone downhill.” And those are just some of the less visceral comments I've seen.... It really makes me sad. It really makes me sad to see a show I loved as a kid, get second chance at finishing it's story and the one tiny moment that wasn't even remotely negative in any way, would then cause such a shit storm, that I have to sit back and wonder why did I have to be born as a human being... Oh am I sounding bit harsh here? *eh-hem* I suppose some would prefer it if I went back to my dark little corner of the internet and remain silent like I usually do. Heck No! I feel I should be aloud to express my own opinion, while setting somethings straight. (Pun not intended.) Now, I will not be completely demonizing people who are against this ship, because some do have a few valid points as to why they don't like it or this episode and thats understandable. I'm not saying you have to like it. Again it's all matter of choice and opinion. (get use to hearing that.) But! What I am irritated by is how people are practicality screaming out things like “Pedophile” “Forced” “Rushed” “Poorly Written” “Not gay equals bad” “Boy-cot” and other things that are just... Really really stupid... So I may has well give you guys my own two cents here. I don't expect to change any minds here; just take what I say with a grain of salt. You have plenty of it, anyway...

“Jack and Ashi should have been platonic. Like father and daughter.”

The moment I was first introduced to Ashi in episode 1, I knew she was going to play some important roll in the new season. I knew she was going to be some kind of ally to Jack. She wasn't a mindless drown like her sisters. She was curious about the world. Now keep in mind, from the beginning, I wasn't automatically shipping these two. I knew a bond was gonna form between them eventually, but I really didn't know what type of relationship it was gonna be, nor did I care. Yes, it didn't really matter to me, father/daughter, teacher/student, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever! All I cared about was seeing these two lost souls find happiness in one another. They make a great team already, so no matter which way it was gonna go, I was going to be satisfied either way. Being the gray smudge that I am, I kept an open mind about this. I'm not a big crack shipper anyway. Then again I don't get into ships that much because I know how scary they can be. So thats why I stick with pairings that are canon and that I like. But I'm sure that this might be one of the reasons why people were a upset by this. They were really hoping for that platonic relationship. Sorry, don't know what tell you there. Not everything in a show is gonna go your way. This is what Genndy wanted, but just because you didn't agree with it, doesn't mean you should be flat out calling it bad writing and hate the rest of the series for it!  I'll get into the pacing issues later, right now it's time to adress the elephant in the room...

“Jack's too old for Ashi and Ashi's a little girl!”

Yes, time is a BIG issue in this series and I can understand the problem some “fans” are having with the whole age gap thing. Like he should be really old by this point, but heres the thing. Jack doesn't age. He's still stuck in his 20's psychically AND mentally. Yes, I said mentally as well. His mind is worn out but not old. Like Jack said, time has lost it's a effect on him. As for Ashi, I'm almost more than certain that she's in her 20's as well. The real problem shouldn't be the fact that he's older than her. The REAL problem should be the fact that he can't age but she still can. Really, I'm surprised nobody's getting more mad with Aku about this, since, you know? He's the one responsible for this whole issue in the first place. Whats more annoying though, is the fact that this has become the main and almost only reason “fans” have for not liking this pairing! I mean come on! I can go on for why Edward and Bella are a bad couple, not just because he's a hundred years old, but also because despite being a hundred he still goes to high school for some reason, acts like a creep around Bella, calls her his personal brand of heroine (and how much he wants to eat her.) breaks into her room to watch her sleep at night and throws her against the wall. Yet she does absolutely nothing about it and still acts so dependent on him like she can't stand on her own two feet! * hem* Getting a off topic, I should also point out that this is not the first time we've seen a fictional couple where one person is way older than the other. It's been done many times in media. Aragon and Arwen, Rose and Greg, Aang and Katara, Inuyasha and Kagome and nobody bats an eye there. But I know you're probably going make excuses as to why I'm wrong for comparing some these couples to Jack and Ashi. “Uh, but Rose isn't even human! She's a gem and they don't age!” Still doesn't change the fact that she's still thousands of years older than him. What does being a rock- I'm sorry, a Mineral not a rock, have to do with her age? And that can go the same for Arwen and Inuyasha as well. “But-but Aang was frozen in a sphere of ice.” Yeah, keeping him persevered for over a hundred something years thus delaying his ability to age until he was set free and why he's still twelve. Even though technically speaking he was born way before Katara was born. Hell, I could dare say that Jack is in his own sphere of ice. Just not literally. Time and age have stopped round him. Thing is, even with out the fifty year time-skip Jack would still be considered thousands of years old since he comes from feudal era Japan. So no matter what girl he ended up with in this future, he would still be way older than her regardless. The more I hear this excuse brought up, the less water it holds and the more desperate it sounds. Especially when you have no other strong argument to bring, as to why these two shouldn't be together. Oh, and don't even think about calling it pedophilia! Just because we saw Ashi growing up as a child doesn't mean she is one now. I'm pretty certain she's past the teen stage. In fact we even saw what she looked like during that stage. So treating her like she's still a child is kind of insulting, honestly. You're consent miss use of the word, makes me want to strangle myself. Okay I've been ranting about this for too long... Let's- let's get to our next topic.

“ Why does media keep pushing for heterosexual couples? What a bunch of Homophobes!”

*Sssssssiiigggghhh....* I know not everyone who disagrees with this pairing thinks this way, but my God Tumblr... What's with the extremism? I've always tried to be more opened minded about a lot of things. Accept others for who they are and have always said love is a very strange thing. So don't you DARE blindly accuse me as a “homophobe” for what a I'm about to say here... Not everything has to be gay, in order to tell a good love story! There I said it! A good love story is when you can feel the connection between two characters no matter what their sexual preference is. I don't like Ruby and Sapphire just because they're mineral space lesbians, I like them because of how much they care for each other and how they can have fights and make-ups like any other couple and so on and so forth. Thats what makes a good pairing. Also saying it's out of character for Jack to have an attraction to a female because your head-canon tells you he's either ace or homo, is also not true as well. Not saying you still can't have your ace/gay Jack crack ships. You don't have to have canon dictate to you what you can or can't ship. I'm simply saying that Jack has always been attracted to woman in the show. Remember when he got kissed by that girl in the field when he was a kid. He still has fond memories of it. And is it just me or did everyone forgot, Ikra, Josephine, or that creepy flower lady from 'Seasons of Death' happened? Given how nervous he gets around woman he finds attractive and how flustered he gets when seeing Ashi naked, it's clear to me now, that he is definitely not her biological father as well. Now that he's out of his depression, it was only a matter of time before he started falling for Ashi. Why is this anti-hetero/homophobia thing even an argument at all?! Why is it even brought up?

“ But the pacing felt so rushed! How dare they force the love-interest trope down our throats. This came out of nowhere!”

Okay, I'm going to briefly play devil's advocate here. I can get where the rushed pacing argument comes from. But forced? No, put a pin on that last one. We're gonna get back to that later. First I can agree that the pacing felt a bit rushed. (Though this isn't the first time I've enjoyed something with a rushed pace. *cough*9*cough*) Still, keep in mind that the creator was only given ten episodes to work with. So certain things had to be cut out, I'm sure. If they were going make thirteen I'm pretty certain that would have given them more time to further expand on Jack and Ashi's relationship, rather then cramming all the more romanic stuff in it into this episode. However, that doesn't mean that the romance came out of no where. There were some hints dropped here and there since the beginning of episode 3 infact. We got only two more episodes left, so 8 had to be the one to fully confirm how Jack and Ashi are starting to feel for each other. I do feel like there could have been some other things they could have changed in the previous episodes to help further accentuate the relationship a little better in this episode. As far as this season goes, it may not be one of their strongest episodes, but it's not their worst either. I still enjoyed it, romance and all. Honestly I think the real weak point was the conflict of being lost in the ship with the leach creatures. Like where was everyone else, what was the backstory to this space prison. This episode was always going to be about Jack and Ashi falling love no matter what. It's just everything else was going to just feel like a little bit of an after thought. Another complaint I've heard was that this episode felt like “filler” and did nothing to progress the plot of the story. Well, I like to think of this as the calm before the storm. (Irony) You know, a few light-hearted laughs to put us at ease before the shit it's the fan. (At least thats what it was suppose to be...) Though something tells me they're just doing this to break our hearts later... And what lack of plot progression. The plot progression was with Jack and Ashi. With that said, going back to the “forced” bit. As I said before it was hinted at early on, the moment Jack and Ashi started interacting with each other. But I think the problem is because they were hinted at so subtlety, I guess it's kinda easy for most people to miss them. Thing is we don't really know how long it took Jack and Ashi to go from that mounted to that market area or how long it took for them to find that bird. You can use your mind fill in the gaps there. But I feel that to really cover this topic and why I don't find their relationship “forced” I'm going to have to dive in deeper.

Shoot me...

Okay, now I'm going to get into what I think of these two and why I think they work as a pair. Starting off with Jack, he's pretty much been through hell at this point. Losing his home, separated from his family, spends the rest of his childhood training to earn his father's sword, only meets his parents again briefly before he goes off to fight Aku. Only to have the rug pulled out from under him when Aku throws him into the future. For fifty years this man has had to deal with so much pain and suffering. Getting trolled with by Aku, always having something try to kill him, being alone, seeing all the Hell that Aku has raised, suffering from hallucinations and no matter how hard he tries, he can never seem to reach his goal. Ultimately what leads to his depression. The more time passes him by while he remains young, the further and further his goal gets. He has lost all hope. Somewhere during those fifty years, a cult of Aku obsessed women have a ceremony for their High Priestess who's given birth to seven daughters for the soul purpose to kill Samurai Jack. However one of these girls is not like the others. Ashi, does not have the same mind set as her sisters. She's curious about the world outside, wants to see the beauty of nature, but is trapped with in the confides of her abusive mother. Never aloud to play or have fun. Never shown any love or bonding with her family. Forced into training at such a young age and all while being told nothing but lies about the Samurai and what an evil person he is, ruining Aku's “perfect” world. Having never met this man, it only filled Ashi's heart with anger and hate. Now fully grown, training complete, she and her sisters set off to kill Jack. Not knowing what they were getting themselves into. Not realizing that there mother essentially sent them out to die. And thus the journey begins for these two lost souls. Jack struggling to keep moving forward while being haunted by his own negative emotions as well as being hunted down by a shogun of death. Ashi, blinded by hatred towards a man who's done her no wrong, she does not realizes she's fighting for the wrong side. During the search for the Samurai, Ashi and her sisters come across a doe in the forest. That's when the buck shows up. Thinking it's related to Aku, they thing it's come to “devour the weaker one.” What they didn't expect to see was the two deer nuzzling each others noses. This was the first time any of them have seen affection before. Which leaves them so confused, as they were never taught to love but to hate. One of them even says she doesn't like it. I also consider this part foreshadowing. It's is only after he defeats them, does the ball really get rolling. Jack assumes he's killed Ashi like the rest, but the guilt of what he's done continues to eat a way at him. Ashi then wakes up, still hell bent on trying to kill him. She ends up getting restrained by her own chain and it is here, where Jack finally has a chance to see the woman behind the mask. A very troubled woman, who has clearly lost her way like him. Seeing that she is not evil and feeling bad for killing the others, Jack not only lets her live, but goes out of his way to protect her. The real turning point comes when Jack and Ashi escape the goliath monster. Ceasing the opportunity, Ashi slowly starts to creep up on him, while he isn't looking, but just as she's a bout to try and kill him that's when the ladybug appears. This triggers a memory of when she was a child. During her training, she sees a ladybug and lets it land on her hand. Her mother scolds her for this, taking the bug away and killing it in front of her. Going back to reality, that bug flies over to Jack. He rises his hand to it as Ashi watches, wondering what he's about to do. To her surprise, he lets the ladybug go, showing an act of kindness. Causing Ashi to drop her weapon; he's not the monster her mother made him out to be. Through Jack, she learns more about the world, Ashi begins to see the truth as he shows her the beauty of nature and horror that Aku has caused. Ashi does begin to believe him, but the moment that seals the deal is after they save bunch of children from enslavement, Jack freaks out when we thinks they're all dead. He heads off with the Omen (the shogun of death from earlier) to commit suicide and she goes to find him. Thats when she meets some of the people Jack has helped over the years, thats when she fully sees the man he really is. Thinking of her past and all the good Jack has done, this is what inspires her to change her appearance. And it's because of her that Jack was able to regain his hope. She gave him the strength he needed to fight off his own demons. She protected him while he was in deep meditation to find his sword. From an army and her own mother no less. She does not hold any ill will towards him for killing her sisters, as it was out of self defense. It was her mother who sent them out there in the first place. Now that his hope has been restored and is back to being his old self. Now that he gotten to know her and sees how much she has changed for the better, it should come has no surprise that they would start noticing each other in more ways. I mean this is probably the longest anyone has ever traveled with him. So how does any of that sound forced? There was build up. Sorry if you couldn't see it.

Final Thoughts...

Ya know, I find it pathetic that this is the reason people are getting so upset that they want to quit the show when theres only two episodes left to go. And you call yourselves fans... Can't we just wait to see how the out come and then make our criticize afterwards. I'm even more disappointed with the fan-base than I am with the episode because of how everyone is acting like this pairing is such a crime. When this season started I thought this was gonna be fun. But now I'm just left sour over yet another fandom like I was with the “9” fandom. I've seen people literally saying that it made them feel uncomfortable and ruined the WHOLE series for them. Say, you wanna know what makes me feel uncomfortable? Is the more I think about it, the more it disturbs me that anybody will get pissed over a healthy relationship like this one, yet you'll see abusive couples like Harley Quinn and Joker, Fifty Shades of Gray and the of mentioned Twilight get glorified. Am I the only one who sees something wrong there? And after all the shit that Jack and Ashi have been through, wouldn't you want to see them to be happy? Isn't that what many of us wanted? My only concern is now that it's established that Jack and Ashi have deeper feelings for one another, how is the final going to effect them. Are the rumors I keep hearing going to be true? I've always been wanting to know how this series is going to end since I was eight years old and nothing is going to stop me for watching the ending. I don't even care how it's going to end. I don't care if it breaks my heart. At least I will now know and I will accept what ever Genndy has in store. Like I said from the beginning, you're not wrong for disliking or disagreeing with this pairing, I'm not wrong for liking it and thats fine. But don't act like this is such a travesty that it makes you dislike the entire series, don't quite while we're so close to the end. This whole mess has just become childish at this point. But hey, hate me all you want for expressing my opinion. There is nothing you can say to me that hasn't already been said before. Hate never fixes anything. Hate is what got Ashi's sisters killed in the long run. I've been rambling on about this for too long. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna make some Jashi fan art while I still can. In the mean time enjoy this little quote.

“Believe what you may, but if you open your eyes and let go of the hate. You will see the truth.”

~Jack

[rocket-sith]

Salty asks; 2, 4, 6, 8, 21

Okay you’re getting all these plus #5 because I can’t read for shit and accidentally answered five instead of four when I was looking at which numbers went with which questions.

#2 - Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP? - Anakin/Padme. I really like both characters, and I adore them as friends, but on the smokin' hot romantic chemistry meter, their level is somewhere between sub-arctic and absolute zero. I think there are tons of fascinating things to explore with their different worldviews, their different upbringings, the way their protective streaks come out around each other, etc., but I just feel absolutely nothing for them in the romantic shipping department. 

#4 - Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? - If NoTP = I get all pissy when other people ship it because I think I’m some sort of divinely appointed fanfic cop, then hell fucking no. If NoTP = a ship that personally annoys me so I avoid it, then...yeah. Guilty. Obi-Wan/Satine just bores the hell out of me. I know it's got basis in canon, and it's fine if it's used as a springboard for Anakin to troll the hell out of Obi-Wan, or it's just mentioned as some shit that happened in the past, or if it shows up in a fic to serve some other narrative purpose, but in and of itself, snoooooore. Satine in general is just boring af, and the only uses I really have for her are as a plot device or a character foil for characters I actually care about.* (Gotta say though, the "collection of half-truths and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi" line was pure gold. Gotta give credit where it's due.)

*If anyone is gonna try and send anon wank turning this into a feminist or an “stfu obikin jerkface!” issue, get bent. There are plenty of female SW characters I totally dig - Leia is a goddess, Ahsoka is an unmitigated badass, Padme kicks all sorts of booty in all sorts of ways. My issue with Satine is that she's boring, not that she's female and/or hogging Obi-Wan's coc...*ahem*...lightsaber away from Anakin.

#5 - Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? - Not the SW fandom, but the Potter fandom really made me start disliking Remus/Sirius. NOT because I didn't love the pairing, and definitely not because a bunch of antis wanted to whine about it (we really didn't have the aggressively virulent brand of tumblr antis back in the LJ days, just the "durrrr, pffffft, ur ship iz teh suxx0r bcuz minez better" tripe), but because I saw it written so so often, so so poorly. Author after author tried to turn them into a couple of gay stereotypes with leather pants and effeminate mannerisms and the whole nine yards as opposed to just staying true to the characters, and alas, they wrecked the Good Ship Dogstar. IDK if that was the case with all slash pairings back in the early/mid 2000s (I kinda got the impression it was since I heard similar complaints from Harry/Draco fans), but it was pretty annoying.

#6 - Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated? - Not really. I've seen some pairings I'm normally just sorta "meh" about written well enough that I enjoyed it, but even then, I was only into it in the context of that story, done by that author. Good characterization and good storytelling are enjoyable even if it's not my OTP, but I've never had a ship that I flat-out hated turn into something I actively sought out. I will say fandom has definitely piqued my interest in Vader/Aphra, but that was never something I hated - I just wasn't aware of who Aphra even was until fandom informed me.

#8 - Have you received anon hate? What about? - LMAO YES YES YES! It feeds my soul, it brings me glee, and it only makes me stronger! Faster! Better! TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL, AND I SEASON MY FOOD WITH THE MOUNTAIN OF SALT EXTRACTED FROM THE FLOWING RIVER OF ANTIS' BITTER TEARS! *ahem* Anyways! Usuuuually the anon hate has been some sort of shipper wank related to Obikin (omg how dare I enjoy things!) and another time it was in response to me saying I thought AO3 had the right idea by refusing to censor "objectionable" content (omg how dare I think other people should be able to enjoy things too!) - Basically, the common trend is whiny little pissbabies taking a dump in my inbox because they're mad at me for saying people should be allowed to tell fictional stories and stuff. (O THE DEPRAVITY!) There was also this one really weird anon who was trying to goad me into flaming someone after some 15-year-old troll started shipper wank, but TBH I never really did understand what that person's goal was other than possibly stirring drama, so I can't say for certain what it was really about in the first place.

#21 - What are your thoughts on crack ships?  -  They're good for a few lulz, but that's about it. I mean, if someone REALLY wants to get excited about Threepio doing the horizontal file transfer with Jar-Jar Binks or whatever, more power to 'em, but that shit ain't my scene. Chances are I'll read the summary, laugh hysterically, and move the fuck on. I do have a soft spot for well done satire though, so if somebody drops a clever joke fic with a crack pairing, I'm all over it. (There was one a while back on AO3 where the pairing was Kylo Ren/Darth Vader's Helmet. Yes, really. Some friends and I did rock/paper/scissors to see who had to read it and report back to the others. I lost. The fic turned out to be really hilarious trollfic/spoofitry, but alas, I can't seem to find it to share with the rest of the class. Yes, I did go look.)

[Want to give me more shit to rant and bitch about and possibly get flamed for? CLICK HERE! Salty Ask List ]

[nerdy-bits]

AlmightyZing's 2019 Cinema Recap

Overview and Spoiler Warnings

As we all get ready to wrap up 2019 I wanted to share my thoughts on this year in cinema. This has been one of the greatest years for movies that I can remember, and we’ll be setting the bar very high in my first annual year in review. At the time of this writing I have been to the theater 37 times for 34 different movies. 

Throughout this article I will be referencing specific events, so be careful of spoilers if you haven’t seen some of the films I will be reviewing. If a film was still in theaters at the time this article was written I tried my best to keep them as spoiler-free as possible.

Best of 2019

I’ve always struggled when it comes to ranking movies against one another, especially when the content and genres are so vastly different. I’ve put a lot of thought into my top five list, and based these decisions on a number of factors - from personal enjoyment to the quality of performances.

5) Knives Out

RT Critic Score: 97%

RT Audience Score: 92%

Knives Out was by far the best murder mystery movie I’ve seen in a long time. The all-star cast knocked it out of the park with all of their performances and the way the murder investigation played out was a wild ride full of twists and turns. I enjoyed it more the second time around despite knowing who did it, as it was fun to notice the more subtle clues that were left behind. Rewatchability is tough to achieve in murder mysteries, so the fact that I’m looking forward to watching it again when it releases on Blu-ray speaks volumes.

4) Jojo Rabbit

RT Critic Score: 79%

RT Audience Score: 96%

A satire about Hitler and Nazi Germany? Who would dare touch something so controversial? Taika Waititi (and Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds). This film brilliantly tackled some incredibly serious topics while managing to keep a light and comedic tone - mostly. Jojo shows us how susceptible our children can be to propaganda and xenophobia, and how being exposed to other cultures can positively influence their opinions. The entire cast gave us masterful performances that brought out so many different emotions throughout the film.

3) Joker

RT Critic Score: 69%

RT Audience Score: 89%

This was one I struggled with when deciding where to place it on this list. I don’t remember the last time I felt that uncomfortable watching a movie. Normally that would put it on my ‘worst-of’ list, but Joker does that intentionally, and brilliantly. Joaquin Phoenix’s performance was phenomenal and the way the film blended reality and Fleck’s fantasies worked really well. I would love to see more DC villains get this darker, stand-alone treatment.

2) Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

RT Critic Score: 54%

RT Audience Score: 86%

This will by far be the most controversial pick on my list. I won’t get into spoilers since the film is still in theaters at the time of this writing. As we’ve come to expect with the Star Wars franchise, there has been a great divide among fans with the final chapter of the Skywalker saga. Being on this list does not mean that the film wasn’t without fault. The pacing was frantic at times, and some of the characters that had been built up in previous films didn’t get the attention they deserved, but overall I think The Rise of Skywalker did the best it could to answer as many of the questions we had. The fast pacing was a result of having to essentially cover two movies worth of plot in one, since The Last Jedi did very little to advance the story. As a fan of the Star Wars franchise, it was a fun and emotional ride and I look forward to what other stories we’ll get from our favorite galaxy far, far away.

1) Avengers: Endgame

RT Critic Score: 94%

RT Audience Score: 90%

It’s hard to believe it’s been 11 years since we were first introduced to the MCU with billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark. Twenty-one films led up to the magnificent climax that was Avengers: Endgame. Infinity War left a lot of us needing therapy, and Endgame’s opening scene didn’t offer any emotional reprieve. We then jump forward five years and experience the gloomy world that was left behind by the snap. I thoroughly enjoyed the time travel and getting to revisit many of the key moments in previous films. It was tough to lose some of our beloved heroes, but it’s also exciting to look forward to a new chapter with new heroes. One of these days I’ll get through this film without crying. Thank you Marvel. I love you 3000.

Worst of 2019

Initially this was a bottom five list, but I struggled to find five films that I genuinely did not enjoy, and it wasn’t fair to the two that made the list for no other crime than being okay films. I typically only see movies that I expect to enjoy, and the three I’ve chosen did not live up to expectations. So, without further ado, here are my top three worst movies of 2019.

3) Hellboy

RT Critic Score: 17%

RT Audience Score: 51%

This film was, in a word, forgettable. I honestly had to look up a synopsis to remember what even happened. The fight scenes were gory and at times brutal, but they couldn’t overcome the mess of a plot that had Hellboy double-crossed, nearly killed, and still managing to tear apart the three giants acting as the film’s mini-boss. Meanwhile the main villain slowly gains power and Hellboy defeats her using Excalibur after he’s revealed to be a direct descendent of King Arthur. The film then teases Abe Sapien, although it’s unlikely this box office bomb will get a sequel to pay that off.

2) Rambo: Last Blood

RT Critic Score: 27%

RT Audience Score: 82%

I went into the theater excited for more Rambo at least on par with the 2008 old-man-Rambo film. What we got was an hour of mumbling Grandpa John fumbling his way through a rescue mission after his close friend’s granddaughter gets kidnapped by human traffickers in Mexico, followed by about 20 minutes of Rambo being Rambo. I really enjoyed that last 20 minutes of brutality, but it’s a shame that the rest of the movie didn’t share the excitement.

1) Godzilla: King of the Monsters

RT Critic Score: 41%

RT Audience Score: 83%

How do these movies keep getting sequels? I’ll admit the Kaiju battles were badass, but there needed to be more of it and a better reason for it. The entire human plotline had me groaning and rolling my eyes. I have so many questions. If Godzilla is radioactive, and his fire breath is radioactive, how are there even humans left alive at the end of the movie? I felt like following Dr. Serizawa’s lead and departing the film halfway through. I don’t blame him for wanting to abandon this ship. Since the last movie that made me want to walk out was 2007’s In the Name of the King, Godzilla was an easy choice for the worst movie of 2019.

Honorable Mentions

These films didn’t quite make it into the top five, but I wanted to include them as honorable mentions. John Wick and Alita had originally made the top five list and would now be 6th and 7th respectively. Ratings after that point get difficult, so this isn’t necessarily the second half of a top ten.

John Wick 3: Parabellum

RT Critic Score: 90%

RT Audience Score: 86%

John Wick has become one of my all-time favorite action franchises. From the moment Reek did the unspeakable in the first film, Mr. Wick has shown us why he is the greatest asset in the world. Parabellum was more of what we’ve come to expect in terms of high octane fight sequences and sheer brutality. Being pitted against the best killers in the Continental shows us just how incredible, creative, and deadly Wick can be. I also want to give a shout out to the amazing dogs in the film. John’s pitbull was adorable, and Sophia’s german shepherds were unstoppable. Give me thrilling action and good dogs and you’re almost guaranteed to make me happy.

Alita: Battle Angel

RT Critic Score: 61%

RT Audience Score: 93%

Alita was the first film of the year that I saw multiple times in theaters. I’ll admit that I had very little knowledge of the source material going into it, but the creator of the original comic gave his approval of the adaptation, which is usually a pretty good sign for fans. What stood out to me the most was the way that the motion captured CGI of Alita and the other cyborgs meshed well with the rest of the environment. When CGI is done poorly, it sticks out. This movie didn’t have that issue, and nothing seemed out of place. There’s even some cyborg dogs, which definitely didn’t hurt its chances of making my list. The only issue with Alita is that while it did well at the box office, it ended on a cliffhanger for a sequel that’s currently far from guaranteed.

Zombieland: Double Tap

RT Critic Score: 68%

RT Audience Score: 88%

As a huge fan of the original Zombieland, it was great to see what the gang was up to ten years later. I loved the new classification system for zombies, the Tallahassee and Columbus doppelgangers, and most of the new characters. Madison and the hippy commune were a bit on the annoying side, but nothing could distract from the methodical mayhem we’ve come to know and love from the Zombieland crew. I’d love to see more adventures, and I hope we don’t have to wait another 10 years for them.

Jay and Silent Bob: Reboot

RT Critic Score: 65%

RT Audience Score: 94%

If you’re a fan of Kevin Smith, you’ll love this movie, but I understand that his style isn’t for everyone. I had the privilege of seeing this live with Kevin Smith and Jay Mewes when they came to St. Louis on their Roadshow Tour. This was the second film I’ve seen with Smith in the audience and I think the commentary before and after his films really help add to the enjoyment. It was great to see so many old faces make appearances, including a very emotional scene delivered by Ben Affleck. If you’re a fan of Kevin Smith, I highly recommend checking out this film.

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw

RT Critic Score: 67%

RT Audience Score: 88%

I’ll start off this one by noting that I checked out of the franchise after the 29 mile runway scene in Fast & Furious 6, but I couldn’t resist this spinoff after seeing the previous and I was not disappointed. The main franchise tries to keep things serious despite the absurd circumstances they’re put in, but Hobbs & Shaw embraces the insanity and drives home a great mix of action and comedy. I hope this buddy cop spin-off continues, and based on how well it did at the box office, I’m confident we’ll see the duo team up again very soon.

Most Anticipated in 2020

Jan 24 - The Gentleman Feb 7 - Birds of Prey Mar 6 - Onward Mar 27 - Mulan Apr 8 - No Time To Die May 1 - Black Widow Jun 5 - Wonder Woman 1984 Jun 26 - Top Gun: Maverick Jul 3 - Free Guy Jul 17 - Tenet Aug 21 - Bill & Ted Face the Music Sept 18 - The King’s Man Oct 2 - Venom 2 Nov 6 - The Eternals Dec 18 - Dune Dec 18 - Uncharted

@AlmightyZing

[thehandtheory96-blog]

Goblin Jesus and its influence upon humankind

Goblin Jesus has three hands, furthermore, prove shows that there's one God, two natures of Christ and three persons in the Trinity. That equals 6, 6! 1+2+3 = 6 1*2*3 = 6 It's obvious, isn't it? But wait, there's more, the great ying of Taos described as 2 plus 2 plus 2, if you consider the fact that Christ is one, but he has two personalities and also three hands but you also had God to the equation you can also obtain 7, that adds a mixed line of yang to the result. God taught Jesus how to bleed without causing death, the dye of his wine impregnated the miracle's cube which God has within his own hands. Ch'ien, a.k.a. the father continously eats Ken, the third child, like Cronus ate Zeus, just to be behaded again. But, how can this be? Even a second grader can beat a snake, isn't it? Well, the answer is no, clearly no, is truly as clear as water if you watch it quietly, the snake maybe coward, but it's surely insidious and dishonest in showing its true form and power.

7 plus the heads of Christ equals 9 and the equation of Goblin Jesus is equivalent to 6, if you aply the Hand principle's of rotated digits association, proved by God, you can combine those digits and divide them by the number of digits in total, obtaining 48. The Hexagram number 48, the CHING in the I-Ching, speaks clearly about how the water rules over all, men are not above water, not even God I dare to say, the superior waters of the sky decide your destiny in the Heavens, even God it's not above them, the inferior waters of the lakes, rivers and oceans decides your destiny IN HELL through the volcanic fault in the deep sea The water breaks the Karst (we are going to talk more about this later) The water killes with his absence The water killes with his excesive presence

That hexagram also talks about how infortunate can be to believe that one is superior to water. Even I have commited that sin. No friends and brothers, no one is above water. Not even Israel's genteels. The Khan, the abism, the humanised volcanic fault in the deep sea, the second child, the destructor, he sinned terribly, he dared to believe he was above the water and he tried to fly over then to fail miserably. To condem us all, the try to destroy us all. He stopped the cicle. He worse than the evilest mortal.

If we watch carefully at Globin Jesus third hand we can aprecciate a clear cut in the dimensional nature of his phisionomy, let's appreciated this poorly written version of it: [IMAGE IN NEXT POST] These facts clearly lead us to a new pathway. Let's read the third hexagram of the I-Ching written by the chinks, shall we? The third warns us about the importance of leading a life filled with determination, beating every enemy, crushing every rival, being superior to our mistakes, difficulties and errors, but one must be humble an careful, one most not touch the superior water, one must never rely on water, non even the inferior, the acid rain can kill crops, the spoiled water can kill men. Financial compound interest, technological singularity and exponential grow of economics and science is assured to those who act fast, continously and quickly. However, beware of Ponzis, remember, NEVER TOUCH THE WATER WHICH COVERS THE SKY. N-E-V-E-R. Let's follow with another proven equation: 3 * 3 = 9 9 + 3 = 12 Hand's principle => 6 12 + 6 = 18 The Great Ether was exactly 18 trillion years old when she concibed the Universe. 16 is the numerologist nature of the tonal math, 2 is the nature of Christ, 2 is the number of heads Christ has and 2 is also the number of voices Gobling Jesus has, 16 + 2 = 18. 16 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 22 Hand's principle => 11 11 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 17 => 17 + 11 - 10 = 18 18 hexagram, let's go, let's give it a try: One must choose carefully his enemies. That's obvious but it's also good to remind this to our loved ones. However one always learn from his own mistakes, especially the terrible and nasty ones. Nothing is wasted. Water recicles it all and sometimes even water builds its own bridges to those who dare to ask more to the spirits who torment his life. Water never forgets, water never makes excuses. You are given three days and you are given leap three years, use them carefully, use them as you wish. You have 5 finger in your hand, just like Goblin Jesus. You got the non-yet-recognised baby, the gran son, the son, the parent and the gran parent Just 4 days, just exactly 96 hours, and you'll see, ohh, truly you'll see. Take Care - Hand 96.

[buddyrabrahams]

15 key questions for NFL Week 15

Week 15 got started on Thursday night with the Denver Broncos finally looking like a decent team. Brock Osweiler got an opportunity to play and showed what he can do in relief. Other teams will be hoping they can get as good of quarterback play as Denver received on Thursday. There are two games on Saturday, plus a full slate on Sunday, as well as Monday night’s game.

Here’s a look at 15 key questions for NFL Week 15.

1. Will Aaron Rodgers pick up where he left off?

After he got off to a slow start in Green Bay’s first two games of the season, Rodgers was lighting it up prior to suffering a broken collarbone. In the three games before he went down, the two-time MVP had a passer rating of 117.8 and threw 10 touchdown passes compared to just one interception.

So what can we expect from him in his first game back?

It would be a surprise if Rodgers didn’t have some rust, and he’s going on the road to face a Panthers team that is allowing just 212.6 passing yards per game — the 7th-best mark in the NFL. The Packers basically need to win-out in order to make the playoffs. It goes without saying that they need Rodgers to be Rodgers.

2. Are the Eagles still a Super Bowl contender with Nick Foles at QB?

Carson Wentz was playing at an MVP-level prior to tearing his ACL last weekend. Wentz’s second-year leap was the biggest reason the Eagles were considered the team to beat in the NFC. Now, it will be up to veteran Nick Foles to keep the good times rolling. Foles looked decent enough against the Rams last week after taking over for Wentz, but Wentz he is not. The Eagles will have to lean more heavily on Jay Ajayi, LeGarrette Blount and their running game down the stretch. At the very least, Foles needs to avoid turning the ball over. If he can do that, Philly has a good shot at earning home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. That could be key in determining how far they can go.

3. What’s wrong with the Redskins?

The Redskins looked like they had as good a chance as anyone to win the NFC East at the start of the season, but suddenly they can’t score or play defense. Losers of six of their last eight, Washington has scored 14 and 13 points, respectively, over the past two weeks. They allowed 30 or more points in each of the losses, so what happened?

Josh Norman missed some time with a rib injury, which didn’t help. Kirk Cousins also has almost no one to throw to, with free agent acquisition Terrelle Pryor not panning out and star tight end Jordan Reed injured for most of the season once again. At 5-8, the Redskins are essentially eliminated from postseason contention. Their biggest issue now could be if 2017 was enough of a disappointment that Cousins has no interest in returning.

4. Can Jimmy Garoppolo stay undefeated in his NFL career?

Garoppolo has won his first two games as a starter with the 49ers. He also won the two games he started last year in New England filling in for a suspended Tom Brady, which means the 26-year-old is undefeated in his career as an NFL starter. That doesn’t mean he’s the next Joe Montana, but it’s not a coincidence, either.

Garoppolo has seemingly reenergized the Niners. On Sunday, San Francisco hosts a Titans team that has not been great against the pass, allowing more than 233 passing yards per game. The Titans are 8-5 and looking to stay in the postseason hunt. Their Week 15 game suddenly looks a lot tougher than it did when the schedule came out.

5. Which Derek Carr will show up in a must-win?

As inconsistent as the Raiders have been this season, they still have a chance to win the AFC West. In order to do that, they have to beat the Cowboys on Sunday night. At 6-7, Oakland is just one game behind the Chiefs and Chargers, who are tied for the division lead at 7-6.

Unfortunately, the Raiders have a tough schedule down the stretch with road games against the Eagles and Chargers after hosting Dallas. Amari Cooper is going to miss Sunday’s game with an ankle injury, which won’t help Carr improve upon a season in which he has thrown 10 interceptions and lost three fumbles in 12 games. Oakland has looked surprisingly bad on offense all season, especially after the addition of Marshawn Lynch. It may be too late to turn that around.

6. Will the Chargers snap a long losing streak against the Chiefs?

The Chiefs have owned the Chargers in recent years, winning the last seven games between the two teams. Heading into Saturday night’s game, Los Angeles has won four straight games and played far better football than Kansas City over the past month. The Chiefs finally got back in the win column in Week 14 after losing six of their previous seven games.

Quarterback play has been one of the big differences with the two teams in recent weeks. Philip Rivers is playing at a Pro Bowl level, while Alex Smith has thrown five interceptions in his past five games after an incredible first half of the season. Kansas City is one of the tougher places to play in the NFL, but the Chargers are riding a wave of confidence. Expect a playoff atmosphere at Arrowhead Stadium.

7. Have the Dolphins discovered the magic too late?

The Dolphins played their best game of the season against the Patriots Monday night, and the result was an improbable victory that may end up costing New England the No. 1 overall seed in the AFC. The win improved Miami’s record 6-7 and kept Adam Gase’s team hanging on by a thread in the playoff hunt. A win over the 7-6 Bills, who are currently the No. 6 seed in the AFC, would be huge.

Jay Cutler completed 25 of 38 passes for 263 yards, three touchdowns and no interceptions in Monday’s win. The play-calling finally looked creative, as Cutler had the Patriots guessing on designed roll-outs and throws down the field. Miami scored 27 points against New England and 35 the week before against the Broncos. Something may have finally clicked. The question now is whether it clicked too late.

8. How healthy is Tyrod Taylor?

The winner of Sunday’s game between the Dolphins and Bills could sneak into the playoffs, and it is basically the most important game of the season for the two teams. If Buffalo has one big concern, it is likely the health of Tyrod Taylor. After he missed last weekend’s snowy win over the Colts because of a knee injury, Taylor is going to start on Sunday. Rookie Nathan Peterman suffered a concussion last weekend and has been ruled out for Week 15, so it will be up to Taylor to keep the Bills alive in the AFC.

Two weeks ago, Taylor was carted off the field with what looked like an extremely painful knee injury. Mobility is a huge part of his game, so his knee will certainly be worth monitoring.

9. Is Tom Brady showing signs of wearing down?

Brady has missed some practice time recently with what the Patriots are calling an Achilles injury, so it’s possible he has played at less than full strength the past two weeks. That could help explain why he has fared so poorly. Against Buffalo in Week 13, Brady completed 21 of 30 passes for 258 yards but failed to throw a touchdown pass for the first time since Week 1. He also threw an interception, and he threw two more in Monday night’s loss to the Dolphins, finishing that game with a season-low passer rating of 59.5.

Naturally, the talk about the 40-year-old Brady wearing down is starting up again. Some people wonder if being suspended for the first four games of 2016 helped Brady preserve his health down the stretch, but that seems like a leap. On Sunday, Brady will look to bounce back against a Steelers team he has owned in recent years. If he can’t do that, Pittsburgh will be in position to earn the top overall seed in the AFC.

10. Can the Steelers finally get the best of the Patriots?

Speaking of the Brady owning the Steelers, is this the week it finally ends? Last season, the Patriots beat Pittsburgh 27-16 at Heinz Field in the regular season before handing them a 36-17 beating the the AFC Championship Game in Foxboro. In those two games combined, Brady completed 75 percent of his passes and threw for 606 yards, five touchdowns and no interceptions. During the 2015 regular season, Brady completed 25 of 32 passes for 288 yards, four touchdowns and no picks. Sensing a pattern?

For whatever reason, the Steelers have not been able to stop Brady and the Patriots’ offense in recent years. Trying to do that without Ryan Shazier on Sunday will be a challenge, but it’s one Pittsburgh needs to be up for if they want to avoid going to New England for the AFC Championship again this season.

11. Do the Falcons still have a shot at winning the NFC South?

After the first half of their season had “Super Bowl hangover” written all over it, the Falcons are 8-5 and suddenly just one game back in the NFC South. Two of their final three games are against the Saints and Panthers, the two teams that are currently tied for first in the division. Atlanta came away with a crucial win over New Orleans last Thursday, and Carolina has a tough game this weekend against Aaron Rodgers and the Packers.

Simply put, the Falcons are still very much alive. They’re in a great position to reach the postseason again, and they could even win the NFC South if things go well over the final three weeks. A win over the Buccaneers on the road Monday night would help them make things even more interesting.

12. How much longer can Marvin Lewis keep his job?

Just when it appeared they had an outside shot at playing their way back into the AFC playoff picture, the Bengals laid an egg in the second half against the Steelers two weeks ago and were blown out by the Bears last Sunday in their most embarrassing performance of the season. Dare we say it looked like the team quit on head coach Marvin Lewis during the 33-7 thumping?

Lewis has been on the hot seat for the better part of a decade. He managed to keep his job by reaching the playoffs each season from 2011 through 2015, though he has still never won a postseason game with the Bengals. Cincinnati finished 6-9-1 last season and is headed for a similar result in 2017. It’s hard to imagine this not being the season Lewis finally gets the axe.

13. Can the Cowboys survive one more game without Ezekiel Elliott?

The Cowboys will only have to play one more game without suspended running back Ezekiel Elliott, and they need to win it. Dallas travels to Oakland to take on the Raiders Sunday night in what is basically a must-win game with the way the NFC playoff picture looks. The Cowboys will have to surpass four teams in the next three weeks if they want to capture the No. 6 seed in the conference, and that almost certainly means they have to win-out.

Dak Prescott has looked much more comfortable over the past two games, leading the Cowboys to 30 points in a win over the Giants last week and 38 against the Redskins the week before. If he can continue to protect the football the way he has the past two weeks, Dallas has a chance to keep its season alive with its best offensive player returning in Week 16.

14. Could we still see Teddy Bridgewater before the playoffs?

Case Keenum was supposedly on a short leash when Bridgewater was cleared by doctors to return to game action, but the veteran quarterback has played incredibly well all season. With just three games remaining in the regular season and the 10-3 Vikings one win away from clinching the NFC North title, Keenum’s job must be safe, right?

For whatever reason, Vikings coach Mike Zimmer has refused to commit to Keenum the rest of the way. Following a fantastic four-game stretch, Keenum finally showed some concerns in a loss to the Panthers last week when he threw two interceptions. Still, it seems unlikely that Minnesota would turn things over to a quarterback who has not played competitively in nearly two years, especially at this point in the season. If Zimmer wants Bridgewater to play in 2017, it may be now or never.

15. Can the Rams de-throne the Seahawks?

If the Rams can bounce back from their shootout loss to the Eagles and beat the Seahawks on the road this week, they will all but wrap up the NFC West. Seattle has ruled the division for years, winning it eight times since 2004. The Rams have been bottom-feeders, but Sunday could change all of that.

Both teams are basically in the same situation, so there should be no risk of a letdown. Seattle came up just short of a miraculous comeback against the Jaguars, and L.A. went toe-to-toe with Philly. The Seahawks’ defense has not been as dominant this season, and injuries are a big reason for that. Still, they seem to always find an extra gear at CenturyLink Field. This is a great opportunity for Sean McVay and Jared Goff to prove they can win in a playoff environment.

from Larry Brown Sports http://ift.tt/2ClxzEh