#how come is already october wtf

[tittylover26]

Y'all, am I trippin' or are we really less than a month away from seeing Phayu japanese ver?

[noxtivagus]

time's rlly a funny thing

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [5]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 9.4k

So I edited chapter 3 where Yoongi told Reader to wait till next year for their contract renewal because from the discourse on twt yesterday, they renewed their contract October later in 2018 (which is the year this is taking place).

Gonna stop yapping so here's a 9.4k chapter with a lot of explaining, i hope it all makes sense oh lord this chap is not beta read AT ALL. ALSO WTF IS WITH THE TAGS THEY'RE NOT WORKINGGGGGG

thank you all for your comments and likes, it keeps me going :DD

<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>

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Namjoon was a man of science.

He believes in everything that can be explained in a lengthy and intricately detailed book filled with an even more difficult terminologies and worded examinations backed up by photographic evidence to prove it. 

To him, if he didn't see it happen before his very eyes, it was fiction, a lie.

It's how it should be.

As a child, he frowned upon the heretics and the desperate, thanking a nonexistent god for the fruit of their hard work. He couldn’t fathom how they could weep so genuinely as they prayed on their knees for blessings that never come, and if gods were real, he could never understand how devoted they are for someone who turned a blind eye to the challenges they faced.

He never understood how the lonely could resort to immorality in their desperation for a soulmate, couldn't fathom how easily they shed their humanity for a morsel, a hint of that sense of belonging and importance being a tethered gave.

It was dumb.

Life doesn't revolve around soulmates, they should've tried other options instead of blaming the theoretical nirvana for their own misfortune.

Despite being a child born from two mates, he never believed in the concepts of soulmates, thinking it childish as it was an idea the lonely and the hopeless hung onto to feel better for themselves. He believed that his parents would have met either way without their soulmarks, would've fallen in love the same and bring him to life. 

Because they were meant to be, even without the marks to prove it.

Sure he wished to eventually settle down with someone who also loved him as his mother does with his father but he doesn't believe in the spiritual connection.

But science has nothing on the sensation he was feeling right now.

The moment the clock struck midnight, a heartbeat suddenly began to drum at the back of his head, but it was faint and muffled as if it was distant and came through multiple walls but he could hear its panicked pace echoing in his skull. In the silence you and Jungkook’s departure has left, Namjoon began to feel dread bubbling inside him. A tension slowly building up with the beat of the racing heart at the back of his head.

It felt like those slowly crescending notes of a horror movie's background music as the killer stalks nearer. There's a tension thickening but he's the only one who could feel it, could sense it coming.

It's making him nervous beyond belief how he doesn't know what is afoot.

A gasp tore through his thought process and he looked up to see his Yoongi hyung eyeing something invisible in his right hand, disbelief apparent in his wide eyes as the others turned to him with concerned curiosity.

But Namjoon already knew what it was, at least felt like he knew what it is, although he himself is incredulous.

He's read up everything that he could about soulmates in his teenage years wanting to refute his parents' insistence on how they wouldn't have clicked as well as they are without the soulmark yet none of them could explain how he just knows the heartbeat at the back of his head belonged to you.

________

Fate truly has a funny way of revealing who your soulmate is.

It was said that the sensation when you first meet your soulmate should be a wave of cold relief flushing all the worries out of your system. Your mother and Jihae told you stories of the sudden sense of belonging, like finding the last piece of the puzzle from a mere accidental brush of a hand with a stranger on the streets.

If it was in any other scenario, you would've agreed with them.

But as Jungkook raises both your hands to survey the skin for any mark, your world shrinks down like an air tight ziplock bag to only fit you and him. A low thrum resonated in the air, mellifluous and sweet, a direct contrast to the dull but racing heartbeat at the back of your head. Jolts of electricity vibrated under your skin starting from your joined hands and spreading across your muscles and lighting your nerve endings awake.

The walls around you closed in, not because it was Jungkook who you happened to be fated to. But because there's a thin, red thread tied around your pinkie.

A red string of fate.

And it's not tethered to Jungkook.

It goes behind you and you dread to know who it leads to.

There's a curious tug from down the line, the thread turning tangible at every pull and the urge to run away, to hide in the comforts of your home grew tenfold. Because you're sure the string leads to one of the boys.

People who became your closest companions after years of being their make-up artist. Half of which you've rejected before and four of them you've remained friends with. 

Isn't this a bit too much of a joke?

How funny it must've been for the divinities to watch you reject the men eventually revealed to be your soulmate. They must've cackled, pointing fingers and all, as they watched you reject them. You wouldn’t put it behind them to connect the end of your string to someone you’ve also turned down.

You watched Jungkook speedrun through the five stages of grief in a few seconds, face contorting every so often it made it hard to get a read on what he's feeling. He let out a shaky exhale as he came to, doe eyes meeting yours with an incredulous sheen. 

His continuous silence stuffed cottons into your throat, the conflicted expression he has settled on only furthering the panic in your chest. 

You retract your hand but he was faster, catching your wrist in a tighter grip. There's a question hanging from his lips but they cease to exist the moment you both see the mark on your finger.

In the space between your index and middle finger lies a black quarter note, inked into the skin of your middle. The tint bold and black. 

Raising his own hand, your eyes landed on the same pattern etched on his on the opposite side. As if hypnotized, he intertwined his fingers and the same gentle thrum came back, along with a comforting warmth echoing from your soulmate mark and spreading throughout your body, almost rendering you boneless from how intense yet easily it relieved you of the stress on your body.

You weren't the only one affected by its calming properties. The frustration and anger in Jungkook's from earlier now erased from his face, as if it was never there. Acceptance.

Just like that, the problem is solved; and that unsettles you.

“Noona… Wh-what is happening?”

His voice is so small, shaky and hopeful . Eyes growing larger as he surveys your soulmate marks with a joyful disbelief. He untangled your hand and pulled the soulmark closer to his eye. Curiously, Jungkook hesitantly taps the musical note and shivered with you when skin touched skin.

You both suck in a deep breath, freezing at the foreign sensation it brought you both before a smile that stretches high up to the heavens brightens his face.

Jungkook's eyes were glazed with unshed tears when you found them once more, breath shaky as he placed a kiss onto your knuckles. The sensation of his lips on your skin sending jolts down your spine.

“Noona, we're soulmates.”

You didn't even hear the sound of footsteps running up the stairs nor Taehyung calling you both until he got close, hand landing on your shoulder and effectively snapping you out of your trance.

“Are you guys okay? Not too long ago you were at each other's throat and now—woah!”

A shrill of pleasure shocks your body, vision flashing white and you fall. If it wasn't for Jungkook, you would've collapsed boneless next to Taehyung who's gasping on the floor, hand clutching his heart as he heaved. Jungkook let you lean your body weight on him once you stood up again. Arms wrapping around your waist protectively as your brain catches up.

A sharp gasp from Jungkook kick starts your already racing heart, panic flushing out whatever has happened earlier.

But that wasn't the thing that made your head pulse.

It was the shaky utterance of your name and looking up at Jungkook only to be distracted by the faint glow of blue in the shape of a hand on your shoulder. The spot where Taehyung had last touched you.

In the dimness of the hallway, it gleamed a soft shade of purple like a splatter of glow in the dark paint. Your head snapped back to Taehyung who had pushed himself to sit up, cradling his head while murmuring intelligible under his breath until he looked up and his jaw fell .

“I-Is that…?”

“Hyung, what is the meaning of this?”

Taehyung turned to the maknae, spluttering. “I-I don't even… Ho-how is this even possible?”

How is it possible to feel like the world has pulled a carpet from under you while also feeling like you're laying on cloud 9?

Three soulmates.

Two of them being people you once rejected, one of them unknown but the string suspiciously led downstairs where the rest of the boys are.

You feel like passing out just to avoid the talk it'll entail. Maybe you should run at the wall and hope you'll hit your head hard enough to guarantee amnesia.

“Noona, you're seeing this too right?” 

Taehyung is now standing in front of you, bewilderment still dancing in his eyes as he traced the already fading handprint and a small line of purple followed. He grinned and it's probably the happiest one you've ever seen him wear, eyes misty and overflowing with joy as he giggled, the sound almost reminiscent of an excited child.

Jungkook’s arm tightened around you.

“Wh-why do you have paint on noona’s shoulder? Hyung?” Jungkook’s voice shakes from the weight of the revelation hanging above his head. “Are we sharing noona?”

“GUYS! YOONGI HYUNG GOT A SOULMATE!”

Holy shit.

Unlike you who's despairing to see the man on the other side of the thread, Taehyung was beyond ecstatic.

“No fucking way. I gotta see this.”

Taehyung dragged you to the stairs when your legs refused to move, uprooting you from where you leaned onto Jungkook's side. Your stomach churned at how lighter the strings felt in your pinkie and a tad tighter as the distance shortened.

There's a sudden heartbeat racing in your ears but it sounds far away and it doesn't sync with the pulse you feel in your temples. You couldn't dwell on it for long before you're faced with the man at the other end of the line.

They said it all started with their eldest but unbeknownst to them, he was the first to notice how your eyes would light up as if it held the entire galaxy, how you’d laugh and he thought it sounded like the sweetest jingles of wedding bells to his ears. 

Seokjin might be their eldest but he was the beginning of it all.

In his twenty five years of existence on this damned planet, Min Yoongi has never asked for much, content with whatever life throws at him.

Even with his harsh upbringing, he never kept what he has from others, especially since he met his brothers. He'd willingly ripped off the cloth from his back to keep them warm and plugged their ears with both his hands so they couldn’t hear the hateful words thrown at them at debut, even if it cost of being exposed to them instead. But he couldn't care less, Yoongi loves them with all his heart.

There's nothing in the world that could ever stop him from bending over backwards just so the others could live peacefully.

When his pockets grew heavier with age, this trait only bloomed further into millions donated anonymously to hospitals and charities he could stumble upon. 

To everyone, especially his brothers, he’s a generous man.

Until you strode into his life and haunted him in his waking days with the ghost of your touch caressing his face.

Min Yoongi never wants yet he yearned, he craved to feel the softness of your skin under his fingertips, to taste your lips and discover if you tasted as sweet as you smell, to run his hand through your hair as to know if it's as soft as it looked under the soft glow of the room. 

And for once in his life, he wanted to be selfish.

Being with you makes him want to believe, want to hope that something nonsensical as the concept of soulmates is true.

Min Yoongi wasn’t a believer of such optimism because his mother wasn’t. She passed down her resentment for the fates for turning a blind eye on her onto her next of kin. She was bitter from being untethered and barred her children from subjecting themselves to whimsical thoughts of fates and destinies. But now that you’ve come and bursted through the iron doors of his heart, he started to wonder if the divine had purposely tripped you in front of the BigHit building to be discovered by their oldest make-up noona and lead you to them.

He knew they did, could feel it within him. 

There was something different about you on the first day you've both met, something that he couldn't find in others and his mind answered almost immediately.

Soulmate.

You who shined even without the help of others, who stood out like the beacon of light in the shady pits of this world, he couldn’t dare face you as someone whose future is as dim as the blasted world he cursed out. With nothing to offer, he strived to be the best, to crawl to the top whatever it takes.

He couldn't show you a pathetic side of him, couldn't step forward with a bleak future to offer. Yoongi wouldn't be able to bear it if you were to grow miserable beside him.

Because for you, he'd stop at nothing to hand everything you'd ever lay your eyes on wrapped in a pretty bow of the most expensive quality and tucked neatly behind soft colored gift wrappers.

For years, Min Yoongi hid.

What else could he do when most of his brothers also vied for your attention? He loved you all with all his heart, couldn't bear the thought of ever hurting any of you for his selfish desires. So he did what he thought was best, step back and watch from the sidelines.

And he was fine with that.

He thinks himself a patient man. A trait forged by years of encountering nagging customers and demanding adults from working as a delivery boy. Yet all it took was a couple dozen bottles of Soju and a warm atmosphere to accidentally confess his feelings for you. Ashamed and already knowing what his hyung has received as an answer, he puts on a mask the next day and acts.

He did it so well you were convinced he wasn't kidding by forgetting last night's mistakes and swallowing up the disappointment when you didn’t bother asking him again and acted like nothing ever happened.

But it's okay, Min Yoongi is a patient man, he can wait.

So when you appeared before him, a red string tied prettily around your pinkie with the thread leading back to his own, he was beyond euphoric .

He felt like he could climb the highest summit bare in record speed with no equipment and only the warmth of the new bond.

The moment you all appeared in the living room with your shoulder and linked hands glowing purple, all hell broke loose. You didn't even get to look at Yoongi’s reaction when everyone was exploding around you, running to look at the evidence of your connection to Taehyung up close.

“Holy shit!”

“What the fuck?!”

“You guys are connected?!”

“What the fuck is happening right now?!”

Taehyung, despite being the second guy discovering himself as your soulmate, kept a smug smile hovered protectively behind you, hands planted on your shoulders and pushing his hyungs a few steps away to keep them from overwhelming you.

Everyone surrounding you had varying reactions even then, Namjoon kept his distance but hovered over behind his brothers with his eyebrows furrowed, staring with his calculating gaze and the heartbeat echoing at the back of your head grow rampant. 

You didn’t dare look at Seokjin, whose gaze weighed heavily with hurt and disappointment, penetrated through your skin, especially when you heard him run upstairs, and the door of his room slams shut.

He who had confessed first, had continued to love you even when you had thought he had moved on, somehow didn’t make the cut. Another cruel joke the fates have played.

It was Jimin who snapped you out of the trance when he grazed the side of your neck and flinched back when swirls of gold erupted from the spot he ghosted over before both your knees buckled. The gleaming gold ink spinning a pretty vine-like twirl before sinking back into your skin.

If the room was loud earlier, it has erupted into a mass hysteria now.

Because four out of your seven bosses turn out to be tethered to you. Three who you had rejected before and one who has never shown any romantic interest in you.

How funny was it for the universe to link you to the same men you've rejected for the fear of ruining the amazing brotherhood they've built from years of hard work and tears?

The sensation of two cascading waves of calmness from the bonds trying to soothe the ever growing dread clashed against each other made your stomach churn. Your headache has evolved into a pulsing one before you felt a tug on the string. From the revelation to the onslaught of feelings attacking and fighting off your initial panic, your body struggled to keep up with its conflicting emotions.

You wanted to run, to hide from their gaze, to put an end to the conflicted mess of emotions being forced into you and surfacing along with your thoughts.

Jimin has refrained from touching you since earlier, his beautiful face now contorted into concern, his soft eyes seeing past the fog in yours while the world continues around you. He stares at you as if trying to decipher something, as if he could somehow feel how overwhelmed you are.

He opened his mouth to say something, his hands already reaching to pull Taehyung and Jungkook away from you when a voice broke through the chatter.

“You're crowding her too much!”

Namjoon’s hands were steadying when he held your shoulders, like water in a desert, like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. With their leader stepping in, all words fell into a hush and for the first time since the chaos, it was silent; save for the slowing rhythms of two heartbeats thudding in your head.

If Taehyung and Jungkook's touch felt like a jolt of energy and Jimin was rejuvenating and healing, Namjoon had the ability to kill the noise in your mind with eye contact alone.

Peering deeper into his gaze, your breath stutters because the knowing glint within them has confirmed another thought of yours. Shared heartbeats . Suddenly the other beat in your head sounded clearer, more present along with your thoughts.

A fifth soulmate.

What the fuck.

“Hyung, are you sober enough to drive?”

Hoseok turns to him, face turning serious as he glances at you once more before nodding. 

“I’ll get her home, I didn't drink much anyways.”

It felt burdensome to leave such a life-altering problem for them to handle while you cower in their spare bedroom, trying to hide from the reality that you might be linked to all seven of them. 

The reassuring squeeze on your shoulders brought you back from the guilty trans you’ve submerged into and was faced with Namjoon's kind eyes and smile.

“Go home noona, we'll handle it from here.”

“You sure?”

He nods. “I know this is overwhelming so I want you to go rest and let me do the planning and talking, alright?”

When you didn’t respond, Namjoon wrapped his arms around you. There’s hesitance in how his movement stuttered, could hear him ponder as he pulled you flush to his chest, afraid of affecting you like the maknaes had but when his touch didn’t evoke the staggering flood of euphoria, he grew more sure of his movements.

With a kiss on your head, he unwraps himself from you and gently guides you back to Hoseok who’s now standing outside the open door of their dorm. His eyes were glued onto you, following your form as you near him but somehow, it felt like he was staring past through you and into the void.

Walking to the car was a silent affair and you don’t know if you rather have Hoseok being quiet or not.

It was bearable when he turned on the radio and a song that has no connection to the boys plays, not that it ever stopped the thoughts constantly spawning from the crevices of your mind.

When you had asked the fates for a soulmate, had you sounded so desperate that they'd given you five?

You’ve heard of three souls connected, hell, Yeonjun is a part of a five-way soulmate link; Interlinked, is what they’re called. Everyone in the group has their own unique mark with each member which usually led to constant overstimulation in the beginning, which made the company put them on medications until their bond settles a year later.

Even today, there are times where they still get affected by their bonds, although not as often as it used to. It was a wonder how there haven't been investigations put on BigHit with how often the five had to be sent to the hospital for soulbond hyperactivity at least once a week for a whole year.

But a nexus between six people, five connected to one. That is unheard of, the rarest even.

Five soulmates yet none of those were Seokjin. Someone who had stuck with you since the first day, the first to confess, and the one who remained loyal, wasn’t tethered to you.

“Hoba?’

“Yes, noona?” 

He sounded guarded, his face ironed into a neutral, more serious expression as he slowed as the traffic light went red.

“What’s gonna happen now?”

He bit his lower lip as he pondered, thumbs tapping incessantly on the wheel before he spoke.

“We're gonna have to update your statuses in the DFR, but I doubt the company will make it public just yet. There's nothing also in our contract that prohibits us from pursuing a relationship with our soulmates if we ever come across them so you're good on that front.”

You notice how he excluded himself from the Nexus bond and you feel a pinch on your heart at how formal he has become, as if he’s already put up a wall between you both.

“We'll probably have a long talk about it once I get back but I doubt they'd wait that long for me. You’re probably wouldn't be allowed to touch Jimin and Taehyung anymore when you're working because your soulmarks are very obvious and I know you don't want—”

“Y-You don't think you're also…”

Silence followed as he adjusted himself in his seat as the car began to move again, his hands drumming on the wheel halts as the facade he's wearing shattered for a moment and his eyes grew foggy, clouded by a deep shade of blue.

Under the passing warm lights of the streetlights overhead, Hoseok has never looked more devastated to you than he does now.

You had never noticed it, he has always been open with his affections to his friends so you never thought of it as anything but his usual touchiness. He shows his care for you in the same way he does with his brothers, so paid it no need and brushed it off.

How could Soobin notice it? What had he seen that you missed?

“If I was, I would've felt something different but here we are.” He forces out a laugh before glancing at you and offering a hand. You notice how his smile doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. “We're still the bestest of friends even without the mark, right?”

Hesitantly, you took it.

The moment your fingers wrapped around his Hoseok immediately takes his hand back in favor of holding the brake between you both.

You try to not let his aversion to touch affect you. It was understandable why he isn’t touching you as he always had. New soulbonds are fickle, there’s been multiple reports where people are rushed into ER after brushing their hands against strangers and had been in excruciating pain from soulbond strain.

Their new bodies had thought they were denying destiny and had punished them. It was ridiculous.

But for him to completely retreat to himself, visibly putting up a tall wall between you both is a different kind of pain. For Hoseok, someone who has never had to restrain himself from holding your hands or hugging you whenever he's excited, to step back hurts you more than you thought it would.

“Noona, we’re here.”

As you left the car, you pondered on what to say to him. What could you even tell him?

Do you even say you're sorry he's not one of your soulmates or would that sound mocking?

Should you say that you had wished once that he becomes tethered to you or would that be rubbing salt on the wound?

But before you could even turn around and say your goodbyes, the moment the door was closed, Hoseok drove off. 

Waking up was dreadful.

It felt more exhausting and daring than it had yesterday when you were going to your third date with Guwon. Sleeping was difficult, you could feel Yoongi touch the string from miles away, eyes flying open whenever you felt the thread become tangible and gently glow in the darkness of your room.

It wasn't his soul-link alone that disturbed you, Namjoon’s heartbeat constantly changed rhythm although it was faint enough to blend into the background with the rumble of the air conditioner. From the nervous gallops to the calmer but deeper thuds whenever he seems to drown himself in his own thoughts.

You had research about your soul links when you grew restless in your bed, obsessed over the fact there's little to no information on your and Jimin's mark, trying to ignore the concerned messages from your mother and sister. They were asking about Guwon and why you decided to end things. You know that you should explain, you at least owe your mother the reason why you had decided to stop seeing the lawyer but you couldn't.

After weeks of her constant questioning and spamming links of wedding organizers and dressmakers, you couldn't find the courage to face your mother.

Not that it matters anymore though, not after last night.

Would you send her to an early grave once you tell her the news? How do you even break the news to your parents? Hi mom, I'm sorry I've been ignoring you yesterday. Yes, I stopped seeing Guwon but hey, I found you five new son-in-laws and they happen to be the members of the world's biggest boyband so don't be mad yeah?

She might just make true to her threat of hanging you upside down on a sack on your porch back in the province.

The same thought had led you to realizing how close you were to being engaged with Guwon in Jeju only to find out the next day who your soulmates were. 

When you trudged to the bathroom, exhaustion clung and weighed your bones but you excused it to your shitty sleep.

Not once has any of the boys reached out to you the whole night, the silence from Seokjin carving a hollowness in your chest. You know that they're busy handling the grunt and paperworks due today but to have not a single text in the groupchat made dread crawl up within you.

So when the door rang a quarter to nine, you jumped.

The door opens and Namjoon steps into your living room with Seokjin following closely behind him, expression guarded and eyes averted while the former approaches you. Both their eyes are swollen, no doubt from a sleepless night except Seokjin's looks far puffier than the other.

“Hi noona,” Namjoon began, voice soft as ever as he approached you to wrap his arms around you and you let him. “Hyung’s here with me to drive you to the DFR, the others went first since we decided that it's better if you're not lumped up with all your soulmates in one small space so it's just us three today.”

“Have you eaten?” Seokjin says, unmoving from where he stands a step away from the door, guarded and stiff, as if trying to meld himself into the wood.

His voice is hoarse and he looked more worn than you've ever seen him yet he managed to sound soft and put on the smallest of smiles. Your heart twinges.

“I haven't, you guys didn't tell me when we were going to have the bond registered.”

Namjoon sheepishly scratches the back of his head. “Sorry about that. We got busy discussing how we'll be moving forward, the company has already cleared out the office and as Hobi-hyung might've told you, they're doing everything they can to keep this under wraps for now.”

“There’s unfortunately no time for take-outs due to the time crunch, I doubt you guys will be out by twelve but I think we can all go for a good, filling lunch.”

“Jinnie, are you okay?”

The words slipped out of your lips before you could realize it had. His eyes widened for a fracture, taken aback before a sad smile stretched his lips.

“I will be, don't worry.”

Namjoon claps his hands abruptly, cutting through the air as he forces out a grin. “Alright, let's be on our way.”

“What about the family dinners?” You pushed on.

“We'll tell them the truth. I can't exactly bring you to family dinners as my fake girlfriend anymore now, can I?”

What started as Jin needing your help in stopping vulture-like aunties trying to introduce their daughters to him, grew far more serious when Mrs. Kim began to invite you annually to their family reunion dinners and had begun sending you the occasional gift boxes from her trips abroad. You tried giving them to Jin when the first box came but he insisted you keep them anyway. It made you feel guilty for tricking his family, especially his mother, but Jin needed your help in warding off the bad energy .

“We told hyung that once the bond gets stable next year, you can continue attending them.” Namjoon adds.

“Obviously I denied, what a stupid idea.” Seokjin immediately responds with a scoff and Namjoon rolls his eyes. “Why are you even paired with them when they disregard your safety like this? Really, why would you guys even suggest that?”

Namjoon turns to him with a look that seems to ask ‘do you really want me to answer that?’ and Seokjin pursed his lips in a straight line. You laughed.

It was a relief to see that nothing has changed within their dynamics. You had feared the day everyone would turn against each other because of you. It had made you wary of how much time you spend with a member one on one, scared the others would think of it as picking favorites. 

To see Seokjin, the one you have no doubt been more devastated than Hoseok, be making light hearted jokes about the soulmarks lifted off a huge weight from your shoulders.

“I hope auntie won't take it to heart. You were a nice boyfriend but you kept nagging me to pay a nonsense debt.”

“You still have a balance to settle with me, don't forget that,” He jokes. “But seriously, mom would be sad, she likes you better than me.”

Namjoon's phone pings, the sound silencing you both. With a hissed apology, he turned his attention to the device and read the notification on his lock screen before turning to you.

“We need to get going soon. Hobi hyung said Yoongi hyung and Jimin just got called up.”

“Wait, I haven't showered yet! You guys didn't even warn me!”

But as you move to run back to your room, Namjoon stops you with a hand on your shoulder.

“It's fine, noona.”

“It's not like we haven't seen you with unwashed hair for two days straight.”

“Hey that was one time!” You exclaimed, indignant.

“What was the longest day, hyung?” Namjoon clicks his fingers, a small teasing grin tugging his lips.

“Three days I think?”

“I thought it was a week?”

“So that's why she looked so greasy.” 

Their laughter when you slapped both their arms twinkled in your ears. The sound warming your chest but also grating your gears at the same time. 

Fresher than you had been earlier, you all arrive at the DFA an hour later. Spending thirty preparing, another half traveling to the heart of Seoul.

There's already a few bodyguards dressed in civilian wear lingering outside the office. Mr. Lee approached the car once the three of you began to step out before ushering all of you inside the building with a few other guards.

Save for the receptionists on the other side of the counter placed in the dead middle of the room, the lobby was empty. Sejin comes out from the wide open arch on the right, a man dressed in neatly ironed and a tailored black suit following behind him. 

“Let's all move to where the rest are. We couldn't rent the building for the whole day so they’ll be opening to the general public soon but we were allowed to have one floor to ourselves.”

None of you objects and followed him to the elevator and to the second floor where you were immediately greeted by Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook sitting on the blue plastic seats clustered by both sides of the walls.

When the metal doors parts open, their heads turn and immediately, Taehyung stands and runs up to you with arms wide.

Namjoon and Seokjin weren't able to react fast enough. The moment Taehyung wrapped himself around you, a powerful wave of bliss crashed over you and your legs gave out. They all screamed your name as you fell but they were muffled, hands grabbed onto whatever they could in the haste of catching you.

In the bleariness of your vision, you could make out Taehyung narrowly avoiding crumpling onto the floor when someone caught him by the waist.

“...That was so stupid of you…”

“...Why…Taehyung?...”

“Noona?”

The haze clears and you find yourself being carried by Seokjin into the nearest doctor’s office. You hear the door open before Yoongi’s exasperated but concerned voice follows.

“What the hell happened now?”

“Taehyung forgot they're soulmates and hugged her.”

“Fuckin—Just get her inside.”

“Noona, I’m so sorry!”

Seokjin lets you down on a soft cushioned armchair and you find yourself staring back at a bespectacled woman with hair so straight you wonder how Yoongi didn't feel exorcized at the sight of it.

She didn't waste any time and she rose from her seat to inject something in your arm. 

“What a wild introduction this is. First you come in with five soulmates, a Nexus group and one of them having Healing Touch, and as if that's not intriguing enough, you faint after a touch from Love Prints! So, very interesting!”

She returns to her seat as the haze ebbs away from your vision with the glowing purple paint on your torso.

“I guess it's true that all soul specialists are… enthusiastic .”

“Only on the right things, don't worry we don't bite.”

There's almost a manic look in her eyes as she stares at you with a fascination only seen in a mad geologist who had found a new and infinitely curious piece of history in the dirt. Seokjin pats your shoulders, squeezing it assuringly for the last time before he disappears out the door.

“So, how's this gonna go?”

Doctor Gwak Jihye was a woman with flat light brown hair almost the same height as you. There's narrow rectangle glasses sitting neatly on the bridge of her nose and a notable beauty mark placed on the apple of her right cheekbones. Black vine-like tattoos peaked out of her cream turtleneck, a soulmark you guessed once you saw the ring on her finger.

The band is as dark as the night yet gleaned like stars under the bright light of the room with three deep blue sapphires engraved on the front. A ring made from soul metal created and only used by the tethered. 

She wore the standard white coat of every doctor you’ve ever met with the exception of the detailed pin of two white strings knotted together inside a heart and a red cross placed in the middle of it all.

“We'll do the basic health checks, the measurements and all the like, nothing too difficult. Then we educate you on every soulmark you have. You are aware of what you have with the five of them, correct?”

She rapid fires and you're left agape, mouth closing and open as your brain catches up. The doctor raised an eyebrow and you nod. With that, she motions to the scales behind you as she stands. You followed the woman to the stadiometer placed next to the door. 

Once she was done taking your measurements down, you both returned to her desk where she asked you a few questions about your allergies and recent medical history. It was an easy procedure, almost boring. The ever so present exhaustion is still weighing your bones, you yawned. Staying awake felt like a challenge and you don't doubt she had noticed this when she placed down her board to open her drawer.

“You are feeling more exhausted than before, am I correct in assuming this?”

“Yes…?”

She hummed when she found what she was looking for and placed the thick white medicine bottle in front of you.

“This should help your body get used to the bonds whenever you touch Jimin or Taehyung. The exhaustion is normal since you live far from them but once you move in and are surrounded by your soulmates, you should feel more energized.”

Amoneuron , it reads on the label. Curious, you twist the lid open to see what might just be a hundred of blush pink colored round pills.

“With that out of the way, from what I've heard from Yoongi, you've researched every soulmark there is at one point in your life but I doubt that you don't have any questions,” She fished out the yellow folder under her board and opened it, not knowing how surprised you are to hear Yoongi’s involvement. “Anything you'd like to know about?”

Your mind takes you back to the empty search and countless ‘Did you mean…?’ questions on every result. Jimin and your marks never yielded any results, none in Naver and none in Google. 

You tried finding it in your books but none of them were ever close to the touch activated golden swirls and the feeling of being rejuvenated.

“I tried researching what could be Jimin and I’s soulmark but I couldn't find one, is it that rare of a mark?”

She nods. “ Healing touch , there's so little information of that type of mark since the last recorded case can be traced back to 1934.”

Your eyes widen, surprised by how rare of a mark you share with Jimin.

“Which meant if there were soul-link related sickness between you, I fear that we won't be much of help as we don't know much about Healing Touch other than mates who has it doesn't get hungry, thirsty nor need much sleep if they interacted enough,” She gauges your reaction, when she saw your confusion she continues. “By interacting enough, I don't mean hugs or hand holding, I mean kisses and sex.”

You began to cough violently, choking on your saliva at her bluntness, cheeks burning bright but she ignored you and continued.

“Hand holding and hugs can only guarantee better stamina and endurance, even being close enough can make the other have a bottomless energy. As this concerns a highly valued individual, our team is already attempting to acquire more information about Healing Touch but I don’t have an estimated time on when we’ll be ready to share our findings, please understand that we are also surprised by this mark’s sudden revival.” She smiled. “Anything else you'd like to ask?”

“Are Taehyung and Jimin's marks somehow similar? I remember feeling… rejuvenated whenever the both of them touched me but then got overstimulated.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“No, Taehyung’s touch shouldn’t affect you outside of the first touch nor should you be suffering from soulbond hyperactivity from both of them. When Seokjin had carried you in, what exactly happened beforehand?”

“When Taehyung hugged me again not too long ago, we experienced soulbond hyperactivity.”

“Huh.” Was all she replied with, hand scribbling furiously on her notes. You had the urge to sit up a little straight and take a peak at what she’s writing down so passionately but decided against it, fearing what you might learn from it.

“Any guesses on what could have caused this?”

“It's hard to say much for now since Healing Touch is a very rare mark. But I can hazard a guess and say that due to their similar nature being touch-activated marks and Healing Touch being as powerful as it is, it had influenced Love Print somehow.” 

If her words were anything to go by, If Jimin and your soulmark does greatly affect both your livelihoods by practically rendering you both immortals by eliminating the need for food, sleep, and water as long as the needed affection level is met; not to mention, as long as the both of you are close enough, exhaustion is nothing but a word.

And if Taehyung’s soulmark has evolved due to Healing Touch, then wouldn’t the benefits, at least the bare bones of them, extend to him as well?

You already sense the building headache you’re about to experience in the future with three—including Jungkook whose energy is already a thousand times more of a kid in a toy store—bouncy men with the energy of a toddler in a sugar rush. In advance, you began to pray internally for Namjoon, Sejin, and Seokjin’s sanity.

“It seems that I am due to share notes with the doctor who had interviewed Jimin,” She says as she slams close the cover of her journal with a smile. “This could lead to a breakthrough in the future, with both of your permissions, we would like to study your soulmark more intimately.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it but my soulmate might not share the sentiment. The company as well.”

“Your soulmarks could very well lead up to the discovery of the cure to an incurable disease, I doubt he would decline such a possibility.”

You don’t doubt the possibility of your soulmark being the answer to the long time issue of something as fatal as cancer or dementia but the prospect of being examined, had made you feel uncomfortable. To be under intense scrutiny and possibly put under a specific diet to tailor to their needs—especially when Jimin had only recently stopped caring about his body image—had made you more unwilling to participate.

You’d spare a few vials of blood since your bond can regenerate it back in record time but a prolonged trial is definitely a no.

“Why did it manifest now? After all those years, why now?” You ask abruptly, trying to change the subject. You hoped she would take the bait and luckily, she did with a defeated sigh.

The answer to your question is already solved, it was simple.

“As you know, once we hit the age of 16, the chances of meeting our soulmates goes up to 10% and will gain the same amount the next year will continue on till it hits a hundred on the 26th and the chances of manifesting a mark stops on the 27th,” You nod, feigning ignorance and she continues. “The Nexus connection had to wait for Jungkook to show which had put yours and the rest to a state of dormancy. So when he turned 21, with half a hundred chance, he finally got a mark and here we are.”

You stand and bow, not wanting to leave any free millisecond where she could try continuing to pressure you into agreeing into their research.

“Thank you so much for your insight, Dr. Gwak.”

She looked incredulous and surprised by your sudden actions before returning the gesture.

“It’s a pleasure to be able to foresee a unique connection such as yours, Ms. Y/n. I hope you all the best.”

With that, you leave the room in a haste and let out the biggest exhale once the door behind you closes.

You hear the soft murmurs of voice just around the corner where you guessed you’ll find everyone save for Namjoon who must’ve been called after you had been carried in by Seokjin. But when one door closes, another opens. There’s still a few things you’re due today, a talk with the inner circle of the company, talking with the legal team to figure out who else can know the connection outside of your Nexus, and how you’ll be continuing working as their make-up artist.

There’s a tug down the thread and you look down at your pinkie to see the line turn tangible and vibrant before a wave of concern floods your system.

Tentatively, you twirled the string around your finger and the headache fades. You watch as it glows brighter, livelier with both hosts touching it before tugging it back twice. Instantly, Yoongi responds with another. You expected the string to dim, for him to let go but it remained vibrant under both of your touch.

The dull ache at the back of your head returns.

“Are you the lady with the Healing Touch soulmark?”

You jumped back to see an old woman, around the age of sixty, peering up at you with a gentle smile playing on her lips. She dons the same white coat Dr. Gwak wears the same pin of a soul specialist on the lapel and her name tag displayed on her breast pocket.

Shin Sun-young , it reads.

“In my years of being a specialist, I've never seen so many souls connected to one so I'm sorry if I'm a bit much, I'm very curious how it must feel. Having one is already overwhelming for me, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling now.”

“Yeah it's a bit much sometimes… I had three of them touch me all at the same time and I almost fainted. I don't know how I can deal with it.”

“We have some medicines for that but I’m sure you already know that and have been prescribed right. It’ll dull up your senses till the first year then you can stop taking it.”

She pats your back as you both walk off the sides and you find your soulmates sitting obediently down the hall. Jimin was lying on one cluster of seats in front of the others with an arm over his eyes and the other pinched into a fist on top of his stomach while the rest of the boys squeezed together into the five seats on the opposite wall. 

You notice the missing presence of their eldest but shrugged it off, guessing that he must've wandered off to find the bathroom or a vending machine.

“I hope it goes well for you seven, I'm sure they'll treat you so well.”

Your head snaps to her. “Seven?”

“Oh? Am I wrong? I thought all of those boys are tethered to you. Forgive this old soul.”

A suspicious voice told you that she had intentionally guessed wrong to fish for information but you tampered it down, giving the curious woman the benefit of a doubt. Soul specialists have the reputation of being knowledge-driven crazy people with barely any other qualifying trait other than their unusual obsession with soulmates after all and this lady might just be one of the people that fits the bill.

“Hoseok and Jin, their eldest who has gone somewhere, aren't tethered to me. There's no sign of any marks manifesting and we just assumed the worst.”

You hated how you sounded so dejected. You must’ve sounded so greedy to the lady for wanting to have your seven friends to be yours, as if you even deserve Seokjin’s unfaltering love.

She hums. “Are you sure about that?”

“What do you mean?” You ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Dear, everything in the world is advanced now. They could have their blood tested to see if there's a possibility that they're also tethered to you.”

You were reminded of the times where you began to dread your birthdays when you should've been celebrating, the desperation before the abrupt descend of defeat on your birthday this year when you finally realize that you weren't 

“How is that possible? Why now? We've had years of technological evolution but something like that only appears now? Where was this when I wanted to find out if I was—”

She sighs and puts a hand on your shoulder, effectively shutting you up. “Soulmates are spiritual deary, past technology and brains of yesterdays had difficulty in figuring out the hows and why it works. But now, I can assure you that we have finally found a way to find if you're really untethered or not.”

“Tha-that’s a thing?”

You turned around to find Seokjin on the opposite hall, carrying what seems to be a hundred snacks with two hands, surprise contorting his face. Crossing the distance in under two steps, he stared at the lady with hopeful eyes.

“Where can I have myself checked?”

The way his voice dripped with hope, with desperation of a man who had lost his way and finally found a chance of redemption, a new salvation to pour his attention to. Hearing it made your chest clench. But there was no testimony for their new found tech, there's no telling if they're actually telling the truth.

As much as you are curious as to what the result could be, you couldn't have Seokjin join the test all hopeful only to fall into a deeper hole if he found out that he's actually untethered.

Your heart won't be able to handle the absolute devastation that would follow.

“Jinnie—”

“You boys are in luck, we just had the machine set up last night and we’re looking for—”

“I’ll do it. Me and someone else.” 

As they began to talk about the technicalities of using the machine and partaking in their research, you found yourself standing there in shock. 

You already suspected Hoseok also shared the same sentiment Jin held but to hear him indirectly confirm them had your heart bottoming to the soles of your feet. The guilt that used to only stem from Jin and Taehyung's confession came back to you like a blow to the head.

Jin then briskly walked away, you followed to see him approach an increasingly concerned Hoseok who watched his hyung march up to him with an indistinguishable fire in his eyes.

“Hoba, I found a way.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Found a way… to what exactly?”

“They have the technology to figure out if we're actually untethered or not.”

Everyone's eyes widened. Jimin had woken up from his nap and turned his head to his hyungs, shocked by what he had heard. Taehyung's jaw hung open, looking around in bewilderment before he stood to walk around the rest of the boys and into the stunned Hoseok on the other side of the seats to engulf him in a hug.

Even Manager Sejin who has been talking to the lawyer he brought with him had turned to listen to the conversation.

“H-Hyung—”

“I've already talked to the doctor who will be overseeing our examination and all they ask of us is our blood then the resul—”

“No.”

Seokjin’s shine dims with the atmosphere as his smile falls. Taehyung pulls away, more astounded than he was before as he stares at him in disbelief.

“Hyung?”

“Wh-what do you mean?” Seokjin stammers out in disbelief.

“What if it came out as negative still? Hyung, I've already accepted my status. I-I don't want to raise my hopes up only to come down to the same result.”

“It doesn't hurt to try Hoba,” Seokjin said softer this time as he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Try with me, please . If it's negative at least we can lament together.”

Hoseok agreed not too long after, unable to say no to his hyung, not when he's begging and pleading. Seokjin led him back to the soul specialist to have their blood taken. You had waited for them next to Yoongi on the seat Hoseok had occupied earlier. It's only 10am at that point yet your energy tank is drier than the sahara and non-existent as a stress-free day for you. When the two returned, you were slumped down on Yoongi's shoulder half asleep.

The exhausting day didn't end there.

After your soulmarks were registered, you all went to BigHit for a meeting and you thanked the high heavens no one from your department had seen you enter the conference room with the boys and a lawyer.

Minhyuk had asked you why there'll be a company party at dinner but no birthday boy will be showing up. You lied and told him that Jungkook’s going back to Busan to celebrate his birthday with his family. Jihye had also questioned your absence and you had apologized to her, knowing how often you've been going for leaves these past few weeks.

She says it's fine but you still feel bad anyways.

The meeting was short yet it felt like centuries has passed until you were freed. Just a couple of rules being laid like you being unable to handle Jimin and Taehyung anymore, the living situation where you'd be moved to the Bangtan dorms, and who else would know about the connections between you and the boys—they had approved letting your three friends know once you reasoned that they'll be able to save you once people began to question your aversion to touching Jimin and Taehyung in the future.

By the time you had trudge into your room, you were beyond the word exhaustion. Brain far too fogged up you to pick up on the blaring red lights in your mind as the world swirled around you and you fell face first into your bed.

You chalked it up to your sleepless night and the emotional stress you've gone through these past few days so imagine your shock when you wake up and find yourself in a sterile and white room whose ceiling lights burned your eyes the moment they opened again.

It was so bright and so white, you remember passing out before you came here and all you could feel now was bliss, as if the heavy baggage you've collected from last week and last night had been lifted off your form.

As if you were in heaven .

“G-God?”

“No, it's Min Yoongi. Open your eyes, brat.”

The haze clears at his gruff voice and you began to hear the stable beeping echoing in the hollow room. There's a heavy weight wounded loosely around your waist as well on your legs, turning your head, you were faced with the peaceful but almost colorless face of Jimin, his usually plush pink lips now pale and chaffed as his body trembled next to you; you were shaking too.

Turning to Yoongi to ask him what happened, you find your hand entangled with his. His impassive face now laced with concern and there were dark bags hanging under his eyes as if he hadn't been sleeping for a while.

“What the fuck happened?”

TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud @bri602 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @marvel-potter-1d-korea @comingupwithacoolnameishard @sooha-neul @juju-227592 @coffeewanderer

[a-d-nox]

it was my birthday yesterday: predicting my 23rd year based on my solar return chart

i think this is fun to do, so feel free to comment or reblog what you think will happen this year to me based on my chart, while i make my own predictions for my solar return chart. feel free to treat this as a solar return observation post! perhaps next year i will come back and see if my predictions were correct!

first things first i have to point out this is a 2023/2024 chart i always get funny looks for this but hi i turned 23 on october 27th, 2023 (this year my solar return starts the 28th because of the eclipse - i suspect) why would i look at a 2024 solar return that takes place october 27th, 2024 - i would be 24 then? so from this point on EVEN WHEN WE ARE IN 2024 i will be referring to the 2023 chart for the solar return year. make sure you verify your stuff before looking at your solars.

1H IN LIBRA AT 12° (contains: scorpio sun and narcissus (37117))

prediction: there is likely to be a relational focus this year and with venus (the house ruler) in the 12h it is likely to be with myself (what us my relationship with my self? how can i better treat myself? etc). my diplomacy skills are likely not going to be the best as i look at the 10h/11h, what is sitting in those houses, and that pisces degree on my 1h... with my scorpio sun present in the house, it is likely that it will be obvious that i trust no one this year (people may suspect that i only trust myself - they could feel as though i look down on them or think little of them). my sun is opposite my moon so i might feel a bit disconnected from myself... with my sun in the 1h, i will likely have a super intense vibe (not that i don't already) but in a way that seems like magnetism because it is a libra 1h? like drawing others in? i do feel like this year is going to be the sort where i am discovering who i am and who i want to be (i just have to make sure it doesn't get out of hand with the sun and narcissus (especially with his conjunction to my sun, mercury, and mars) present).

2H IN SCORPIO AT 9° (contains: scorpio mercury, mars, and kassandra (114) AND sagittarius educatio (2440) and pythia (432))

prediction: what an interesting mix of stuff i have here... money makes the world go round this year i guess. my mercury is at 9° and my mars is at 11° - can i just cry a little...? bro wtf is bitcoin and why do i feel like i am gonna get into the world of online investing...? the coupling of these two planets (especially mars as the 2h ruler) makes me feel as though i will be making money and spending it or moving it relatively quick so that i can't use it? i say "i can't use it" because my mars opposes jupiter which makes me think of compounding interest like a CD... anywho, i am a money wizard? i have kassandra and pythia here, so i feel like i will probably make investments and use my money in unexpected ways (kassandra makes me think of emergency funds OR bad financial contracts though). i also have educatio here so at least i will be learning more about financial literacy plus i do think with mercury i will be extremely interested in learning more about finances. and with mars... it might just become a new passion of mine... aside from money, while i am likely to continue a lot of giving and receiving of knowledge this next year on social media (mercury things), there is a danger to the realm of social media... ESPECIALLY with mars present and both mercury and mars conjunct my sun then all three opposing jupiter... my self worth could take a hit which i do not look forward to.

3H IN SAGITTARIUS AT 10° (contains: sagittarius ambrosia (193), asclepius (4581), cupido (763), jormungandr (471926) rx, lev tolstoj (2810), and zeus (5731) AND capricorn aphrodite (1388) and chekhov (2369))

prediction: sagittarius and 10° for the 3h is giving "it's all fun and games until someone says/mentions ____". i have to be mindful of my mouth because while i am likely to make people feel alive with my words given ambrosia and asclepius in this house, i also have chekhov (where you want simplicity but receive drama), aphrodite, and jormungandr (where people try to end you - aka getting socially outcasted/cancelled) in the 3h... but lev tolstoj is here too so whatever i am saying that offends others or makes them mad is facts even though there is drama/gossip involved when i do say these things... the dangers of social media part 2? i feel like it may be romantic drama because zeus (i am not a zeus person because there are no aspects to the sun or asc - only a square is made from this asteroid to my venus), cupido, and aphrodite (and for aphrodite there are no aspects made to my inner planets this solar return - so it is definitely not me doing something sus like cheating) are here in the house too. i do have my suspicions as to what is happening already... and oh shiiii will it hurt because 10° is always a bit painful in my opinion. especially with the house ruler in the 8h... it just looks like emotional damage...

4H IN CAPRICORN AT 14° (contains: capricorn pluto, balder (4059), and bellerophon (1808)

prediction: a lot of my astro friends who see this chart are like "oh are you moving?" and i am like ABSOLUTELY NOT. like i literally just moved so no. unfortunately (i hate to be this person) i do believe a beloved family member (4h balder conjunct pluto and square moon) will be passing this year. even more unfortunate - i do not think it will be an easy death with bellerophon present because he was thrown from pegasus... and not to be super disgusting, but i do believe i will inherit something expensive and very material given the earthy grand trine formed by pluto, venus, and uranus. that being said i feel like i might neglect my mental health because pluto squares my moon - i might stopping going to therapy (currently i see a therapist regarding my childhood ptsd). i might regress into people pleasing behaviors because it is all that i will be able to control if someone in my family passes... which is not the healthiest for me.

5H IN AQUARIUS AT 17° (contains: pisces saturn, amor (1221) rx, and karma (3811))

prediction: this seems like a good mix for me achieving something big with writing/blogging. especially because saturn is the traditional ruler of aquarius and capricorn (which is home - the work i do from home, a side hustle). my outlook for romance is not too good with amor in retrograde in this house nor with freedom loving aquarius ruling this house. not to mention i feel like the world will be showing me something that will cause me to have a grudge against love (saturn) and karma will be dished out. this could also be a sign that my childhood trauma could be triggered again with saturn in the 5h too (great).

6H IN PISCES AT 17° (contains: pisces neptune rx, AND aries heracles (5143) rx and salacia (120347) rx)

prediction: i appreciate the that neptune is retrograde in this pisces house... last thing i wanted was for my health, routine, or hygiene to be confusing/frustrating, avoided, or to constantly be behind / running late / neglected. so this is fine by me. i might be obsessive with scheduling, health, and hygiene because jupiter (this house's other ruler) is in the 8h. it seems like the job hunt is at a standstill with heracles in retrograde - instead, i might get one great option that i take and stick to with given salacia in retrograde.

7H IN ARIES AT 12° (contains: aries nn, chiron rx, part of fortune, pandora (55) rx, and signe (459) rx AND taurus moon and vertex)

prediction: it's a toss up as to what all this could mean. i could find myself in a very emotionally charged connection (this is the eclipse moon after all) - with chiron rx it could be the healing of past wounds. the combination of vertex, part of fortune, and north node dictates that any relationship/partnership i find myself in could be extremely significant. with pandora here i feel like it might be unexpected where this relationship will come from. WITH SIGNE HERE i feel like some people may look down on who i this person is...

8H IN TAURUS AT 9° (contains: taurus jupiter rx and uranus rx)

prediction: oof not my 8h ruler in the 12h - what's that screaming i hear lol? maybe i will be afraid of change - i mean that because of the 12h venus and jupiter retrograde... the combination doesn't really express embracing change and the unknown, you know? the uranus retrograde makes me think i will be moving away from shared finances and working on managing my own money. i definitely believe it is for the best that i keep my opportunities to myself... i don't get the sense people will be supportive of my wins - i more so sense the envy of others from this house. i don't think i will be shocked by my successes, but i feel like others will not see it coming...

9H IN GEMINI AT 10° (contains: gemini midas (1981) AND cancer arachne (407) and odysseus (1143))

prediction: mmmm the contemplation to go back to school is real this coming year. it's weird because it might not be for my MFA? like the 9h midas sextile chiron is giving paralegal? nursing? idk but it's not feeling literary oriented... especially with cancer arachne present, i feel like that is nursing/medical-esque... alternatively, midas can be extreme change then add in odysseus, the traveler - i could be going on a trip that changes my life entirely.

10H IN CANCER AT 14° (contains: cancer ajax (1404), hannibal (2152), and loke (4862) AND leo agamemnon (911) and arthur (2597))

prediction: it's a REAL toss up how this house will manifest. i feel like sometimes people will love me and find my presence comforting and other times they will hate me and be annoyed by me. this is thanks to the moon ruler in the 7h... and ajax (who squares my chiron)... and agamemnon (who squares my moon)... i say ajax because i think of my 3h this year - i am falling on my own sword in that regard for sure because not everyone will like what i have to say especially when it is likely to be true (3h sag is starting to remind me of a verbal burn). while people are likely to look up to me (10h arthur AND hannibal) or be forced to - because of my status, they are likely to despise me for what i say/said (7h moon AND mercury and jupiter (3h ruler) square arthur). meanwhile, it might not even be me who is the problem i just look like the bad guy for making it more apparent like loki (10h loke).

11H IN LEO AT 17° (contains: leo charybdis (388), helena (101), and hestia (46) AND virgo beowulf (38086), juno (3), lacrimosa (208), and silentium (2710))

prediction: i feel like my popularity is going to be a thing / where i am on the social status food chain (high up). but i don't believe i can trust anyone this year... i feel like i am likely to reach big social media milestones with beowulf in this house (and this house being in leo at 17°) - social media might even take over my life a little bit (11h charybis). i do feel like friendships will be very love hate with juno and hestia here - i am likely to be a moderator of sorts but with helena here i feel like someone is going to accuse me of being disloyal because of how i am likely to moderate without bias. i might find myself truly alone again this year because of it (11h lacrimosa and silentium).

12H IN VIRGO AT 17° (contains: virgo venus)

prediction: greatttt i thought we were passed this but i guess not.... looks like i still need to work on my self esteem... intuitively, i don't sense social media is going to be kind to me, and i really hope that doesn't mean here. like i am okay if it is instagram (that app is dying anyway) but like here and tiktok are my favorite apps to be in. when bullying is involved though and it is consistent, there is a limitation to that favoritism in which it becomes apprehension to stay for something like a social media in comparison to showing up for myself. there could also be delusions in romance with this set up - i could experience over thinking in a romantic connections with that 12h virgo venus too. karmic relationships are highly probable with this placement too. OR it could be an ex becoming an enemy too (unknown enemies my a$$)...

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[talwat]

Hello dear friends!

❤🤍💚🖤🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

All the positive words cannot express how generous you are, especially in sharing my posts to inform other donors about the people of Gaza who are still suffering from the terrible conditions caused by the unjust war on Gaza!

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸❤🤍💚🖤

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support you are giving to help Palestinian families stay safe and alive.

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

We collect such donations to provide the minimum basic needs of life and help find safety and peace for young children who do not deserve to live through such horrific situations.Thanks to your contribution, my family has come almost 1/3 of the way to reach the goal. Every form of your help makes a difference to free people who have been struggling and paying so much for almost 291 hard days.

✌✌✌🖤💚🤍❤🇵🇸🇵🇸

Please continue to

support the most just cause in the world either by direct donation or by sharing the link to let others know. Don't hesitate to help people in difficult and miserable times until the dark days end.

https://gofund.me/e7c7528a

WTF.

Why are these Iranian bots using fucking tumblr's asks?? Every day it feels like social media gets more and more fucked. I can't even believe that these spam bots go after literally anyone who says anything about this topic with these hella dubious gofundme's, and are still allowed. Absolutely shameful. Also, another thing, do not donate to these fundraisers. Not only is donating to a specific individual already morally questionable, but these are mass-made and there's no way to actually verify that the money is going where it's supposed to be going. I would recommend donating to neutral non-profits like WCK which also helped Israel on October 7. UNRWA is dubious and has connections to Hamas, so I would also avoid them. If you really gave a shit about the people in Gaza, then do your research so that your dollars don't turn into rockets.

(PS: The fact that I'm Israeli is literally right on my pin, there's no way this isn't an Iranian bot)

[silvandar]

MCM Carers Pass issues

Aka yet again making life complicated and expensive for disabled people.

IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO GO TO MCM OCTOBER AND NEED A CARERS PASS, READ THIS BEFORE BUYING ANY TICKETS!

Announced a few days ago, you have to purchase your primary ticket and additional carers ticket through a completely seperate app.

So not being transparent about their planned accessibility changes upfront, or getting their accessibility solutions online at the same time as ticket sales. Great look, MCM.

Behold, below is the fuckery I have just been through to deal with trying to get a carers pass for an already bought ticket.

I bought my weekend pass the day ticket sales opened, and immediately sent them an email asking about the carers pass, as at that point the website just said "coming soon!"

Their response was basically "don't worry ^_^ you can sort it once the carers pass process opens!"

(Narrator voice: it was not fine).

A few weeks later:

Carers pass service opened, but what's this? Buy tickets through the app? I already have a ticket tho.

Dig out previous conversation, hit reply. Yo MCM, wat do?

Shake the magic money tree, apparently.

Their brilliant solution to the problem they caused by not being transparent about their planned accessibility changes upfront, or getting their accessibility solutions online at the same time as ticket sales?

Buy more tickets, then hope we'll refund the old ones.

I replied that no, I don't have another £50 to throw at you, I'm DISABLED and have very limited funds.

At this point MCM obviously knew they had a problem, I can't imagine I'm the only disabled nerd who excitedly bought their ticket on release day and was left asking wtf. So refund issued with an "apology".

Honestly at this point I'm doubting the event's ability to provide accessibility on the weekend, if they can't even handle selling online tickets. Very seriously considering taking my refund and walking away.

Will see how I feel once I calm down, as this has been very stressful!

[fractualized]

hi!! i hope you don’t mind me asking this but i recently read harleen (specifically issue 1) and wondered if you might know of any other comics that have an outsider perspective of batjokes? thanks !!

I don't mind at all, anon! I also enjoy in-universe outside perspectives on Batman and Joker's relationship (and I've included quite a bit of it in fic). Harleen #1 does have a pretty great one:

The most common commentary on Batman and Joker from other characters is the ol' "why haven't you killed him yet?!" but that reflects more frustration than any inkling of the connection between Gotham's most famous nemeses. So with the help of @distort-opia, I wrangled panels from a couple dozen comics that show characters having a better (even if incomplete) understanding of what the heck is going on there.

Many of these may already be familiar if you've been around batjokes fandom long enough. Regardless, spoilers abound!

I've ordered these (mostly) in cover date order.

June 1996 - The Batman Chronicles #5

This is a flashback that takes place shortly after The Killing Joke. Barbara is understandably bitter about being fridged, and it's clear that officers who saw Batman and Joker laughing together have spread the word, because heyyyyy wtf?

October 1996 - Catwoman (1993) #38

Selina knows releasing other rogues is a good distraction; Batman is always more concerned about Joker than her.

May 1997 - Batman: Batgirl

Before this, Joker was firing his gun willy-nilly, hitting his own men, and he hit Batman accidentally. Barbara doesn't seem to think he fully understands the consequences of killing Batman, especially given the surprise he shows when Batman goes down.

Five years later, this story gets retold (with a worse rendition of Joker's fantastic oufit):

July 2002 - DC First: Batgirl/Joker 

In this version, Barbara more actively realizes she needs to get at Joker by laughing at him, because he's caught up in a reality where Batman is the only other real person. (Not sure if this is the first comic to posit that idea, but it has shown up elsewhere.)

February 1999 - Catwoman (1993) #65

Joker has been terrorizing Catwoman for Batman-related reasons for a few issues, and she knows that saying she's killed Batman will devastate him. (You know, the more stories like this I see, the more I see Tom King actually didn't have too far a walk to jokerize Selina.)

August 2001 - Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (1989) #144

Alfred has noticed that Joker's presence affects Bruce's behavior. 

September 2003 - Batman: Gotham Knights #43

This take from Barbara is set before TKJ and meant to foreshadow (aftershadow?) it. Here she shows a better understanding of Batman and Joker's relationship than Bruce does.

October 2003 - Outsiders (2003) #3

Luthor knows just how to get under Joker's skin.

March 2011 - Streets of Gotham #19

Hush also knows how to get under Joker's skin.

March 2011 - Gotham City Sirens #19 

Selina and Harley are thinking more about themselves here, but it's not hard to connect the dots. Joker is part of the criminal morass that Bruce is focused on fighting, and Joker's focus is constantly on how to best the Batman.

November 2011 - Batman: Noël

Bruce has been told that Catwoman has information about the Joker's whereabouts. Note that Selina isn't saying she's aware that Joker is up to something right now; she implies that Batman is always thinking about Joker. It's a fact she can bank on.

May 2013 - Injustice: Gods Among Us #4 (digital release #11) 

Perhaps the most infamous example. This is related to the "why won't you kill him?" trope, but Clark's accusation takes it further by directly saying it's because Bruce loves fighting Joker more than he loves his friends and family.

Clark says something similar about Joker being Bruce's playmate in another comic:

August 2014 - Adventures of Superman (2013) #14 (digital release #41

Even outside of the Injustice universe, Clark knows Bruce's priorities are out of whack when it comes to Joker.

January 2013 - Catwoman (2011) #14

Selina just stating the obvious here, again after a now-faceless Joker has tormented her for Batman-related reasons for a couple issues.

April 2016 - Batman (2011) #49

Heartbreaking example from Alfred here. He watched Bruce's obsessiveness and understood that Bruce, consciously or subconsciously, saw dying with Joker as his destiny. He probably suspects that Joker didn't really die either and knows they're going to end up back on the same track.

April 2016 - Batman: Europa #4

These panels sum up Europa. Bane, always looking for fresh ways to break the Bat, saw Joker as a clear catalyst (even if he had to make up a convoluted plot to make Batman see it first).

January 2017 - All-Star Batman #4 (backer)

Duke is pretty much repeating Bruce's soliloquy from Death of the Family here, so he's not saying anything Bruce doesn't really know, but he doesn't know that Bruce knows. lol Interestingly, this happens before Dark Days: The Casting, in which Duke watches Joker demonstrate his love in a more positive way by trying to stop Bruce from blundering into everything that happens in Dark Nights: Metal and beyond.

January 2018 - Batman: White Knight #2

White Knight is problematic from a batjokes standpoint (and other standpoints!) but poor Harley presents another infamous outsider perspective here.

October 2018 - Harley/Gossamer Special

She's right and right to say it!

August 2020 - Birds of Prey (2020) 

This take is interesting in how it posits that Joker already felt unfulfilled by Batman by the time he met Harley and that she was kind of a rebound.

August 2020 - The Joker 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular

This is from "The Last Smile," in which Harley reveals Joker's recurring nightmare about Batman mocking him as he's put to death. Joker didn't picture Harley appearing to save him, but perhaps he felt like Batman's respect was "saving" him all the long.

September 2020 - Batgirl (2016) #47

Nooooo! That's the thing he's sensitive about!

April 2021 - Batman/Catwoman #3

I have… a lot of thoughts about Batman/Catwoman, few positive, but if you can push past the muddling storytelling technique (and the batcat if that's not your thing), Selina has a lot to say about Bruce and Joker's relationship, like in this and the following example.

May 2021 - Batman/Catwoman #4

Catwoman describes how Batman treats all his rogues and then equates that with how he treats his lovers. How much do you know, Selina? Who is Joker's main competition?? It's Harvey, isn't it?!

May 2022 - Detective Comics (2016) #1058 (backer)

Even newbie F-level antagonists like The Forgotten know what's up!

Well, that was a lengthy but surely not exhaustive account of what other DC characters think about the vibes between the Dark Knight and Clown Prince of Crime. (May they be bewildered for years to come!) I hope you spotted some comics that caught your interest, anon.

[applesaucesims]

My Top 23 Screenshots from 2023

(actually 24 because I already removed so many and could not bring myself to remove another)

I was tagged by @sasaofastora and boy was it hard to choose! But I eventually narrowed it down to 23.

Didn't include every month in the list because some months just had too many good pics. This whole thing has also made me realise that 2023 was truly the year of Emma and Niall, love that for them. Another thing I realised is that I guess it's either wide angle or detail shots for me that I love the most.

I'm also tagging @simadelics @stargazingsims @blueshistorysims @satureja13 @swiftviolets - if you've already been tagged, it be what it be.

February

Might have peaked with this one idk. (x)

These two are from the same post and idk why but I'm just obsessed with them. (x)

March

"Idiots in love who are too shy to admit it to each other" trope my beloved. (x)

April

Two pics from the same post because I just put extra effort into flashbacks and flashforwards for unknown reasons. (x)

May

"Badly timed first kiss" trope my beloved. And I just love the little details of Emma's hand pushing Niall away. (x)

June

I lowkey love this wip preview more than the actual cc post. Sometimes I look back at it like "wtf how did I slay this hard??" (x)

Hand details my beloved. (x)

They are just so babey what can I say. (x)

July

July had the 1930s beach babes series, so there's a lot of edits I'm proud of. But I think this one is my favourite, and in general Judy slayed these the most imo. (x)

August

It's giving Van Gogh, it's giving aesthetic, it's giving masterpiece tbh. (x)

This is when I tested the new zeussims collection and it's another pic I just like staring at. I've first made my disney princess sims a long time ago, and I update them at least once a year, so seeing them all together (plus Barbie) just makes me very happy. (x)

September

I can't tell you why I love this shot so much, I just do. (x)

October

You know what? Actually, this is where I peaked. (x)

Height differences my beloved. (x)

You thought we're done with October? It was only the event of the century! I have decided that evening rooftop weddings are my favourite now. (x)

November

Look, idk why I love that shot at the door either. I guess those pants just look great on Niall, sue me. (x)

It's just the vibes of this post in general. Very aesthetic. (x)

December

I'm really happy with the nursery in general, but the pic with Emma in it is my fave. (x)

There's more pictures coming this month that I really love, but I don't wanna give spoilers, so they will be under the cut for now. Will change that once they've been posted.

Context-free pics from upcoming posts that go from "I don't need context to understand" to "what am I even looking at":

[gendercomsumer]

Oh! Look! It's part 4 after months!!!

A/N: Hello! Yes I am still alive despite what you may think! We had a crazy end of year with a bunch of drama after October but hey I'm here! Either way this is part 4! Hope you enjoy! Also! ME REACHING 100 FOLLOWERS WTF!?! I NEED TO THINK OF SOME SORT OF SPECIAL- (and finish this series as a whole tbh) BUT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

Warnings: Ooc Jamil?, not proof read, fighting mentions in Jade's

GN!reader! (terms my dear is used in Jades tho)

Characters: Jamil Viper (838 words), Epel Felmier (789 words), Jade Leech (807 words)

Jamil Viper:

You most definitely met through either Kalim or some sort of cooking classes if you take them.

Kalim had already warmed up to you rather quickly so of course he'd want to introduce you to Jamil who's been with him since they were kids.

At first Jamil was naturally suspicious, he was suspicious of most people though so it wasn't really new.

It'd be awhile for him to fully trust you so be ready for a bit of waiting, but I promise it's worth it in the long run!

Kalim also put in lots of good words for you to hopefully speed up the process of Jamil warming up to you, it didn't really help, but it's the thought that counts right?

When Jamil starts to warm up and trust you he will become a bit more doting on you, "You need to tuck your fingers in more while you're cutting, you'll cut a finger off."

It's his own way of showing he's paying attention it can get a bit annoying at times but it's a little sweet if you look at the undertones of it all.

Though somewhere along the line when you started taking some of the work off of Jamil's shoulders even with your already filled schedule is when he starts to realize he might be in trouble.

Helping him with decorations or food for Kalims spur of the moment parties, helping Kalim in the classes you can so that Jamil won't have to tutor him as much

It seems like all small actions to you, but to Jamil it gives him a small fluttering feeling in his chest.

He'll start to realize he's in love when he does things with you in mind without thinking, making a dish for a party cause you had once told him how you loved it

Seeing random things and doing mundane tasks and randomly thinking, 'I wonder where they're at now..'

Once he realizes how far he's in he lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose as a small bit of warmth creeping up his neck.

His behavior doesn't change much while he's crushing on you, but something you may or may not notice is the amount of small tasks he does for you grows ever so slightly.

I see Jamil's love language both giving and receiving as acts of service, it makes his heart clench when someone goes out of their way to do something for him, whether it be small or big.

Though sometimes when no one is looking or when you have a moment where the two of you have time alone, there's a faint smile on his face that to anyone else would go unnoticed.

when it comes to the confession he would take a while similar to Azul to make sure it's not just something that will fade with time.

When the feelings persist he's at first a bit annoyed, but those feelings quickly changed

Honestly I think he would confess on accident, he had something planned out but it went out the window at one little slip up.

Kalim had announced a grand party happening in Scarabia for the second time this week and of course put Jamil on cooking duty for all of the party food.

He was going to protest to Kalim saying it was too much for one person to handle until you came up saying you would lend a hand.

Jamil paused and sighed begrudgingly agreeing, at least it was sometime that he got to spend with you alone.

You were quick to start any prep work that Jamil needed, washing vegetables, cutting meat, prepping some of the seasonings he'd need for the dishes.

Jamil had a small smile the whole time watching as you made busy work humming to yourself. It was almost domestic and something he could get used to. The sound of your voice.. An extra pair of hands to help, and not to mention the fascination as you watched him cook that dishes Kalim asked for.

"This is something I could get used to.." Jamil mumbled under his breath you looked at him and asked what he meant and he turned his head with a bit of warmth climbing onto his face.

He let out a sigh putting the cooking meat on a light simmer before turning to you fully, "Having you here.. It's not only nice to have an extra set of hands, but your presence over all is.. it's refreshing to me.. and I want it to stay that way." You jokingly asked if this was his way of saying he was madly in love with you and he gave you a serious look

"If that's what you see it as then yes.. I am saying I'm in love with you, I wouldn't say maddeningly so but my thoughts do wander to you and what it would be like if you were by my side.. Will you do me the honor of making those wandering thoughts a reality..?"

Epel Felmier:

He's one of the first years so it's no surprise the two of you met on your own. (either that or by the idiot duo)

If you have a bit of a grudge against Vil too you guys make quick friends.

if you don't you'd still be good friends since you might have classes together being freshmen and all.

One of the things about being Epel's friend is he feels a lot more comfortable around you and being not so prim and proper

He gets easily excited when talking and will often slowly fall back on his country accent

mention it? He'll get pretty embarrassed and kind of pouty about it

So just let him talk for as long as he wants eventually he'll bleed back into his trained voice Vil worked so hard to get him used to

Epel will also try to prove that you can call on him if you need any man power

by that I mean carrying more or offering to carry something for you that you may seem to be struggling with (even if he may struggle as well-) But hey it's the thought that counts right?

But he is still a very reliable person that you can count on.

When he starts to fall for you though, he'll try to show you how manly he is even more.

He might go to Jack or Deuce for advice (Deuce doesn't have the best advice, Jack gives him some pointers)

He now, without thinking, will carry your bags and books if your hands are full or he just wants to lend a helping hand

He also asks you for your opinions a lot more often, "hey, Y/N, What do you think of this design? I don't know whether or not it's good enough to carve though..."

He'd start to realize how deep he is falling when he starts wanting to write about you to his family back in the country.

He only ever wrote about important events and updates but the fact that he wanted to write about you to home to brag in his own way struck him as odd as he slowly started to realize.

He had almost thought of asking Rook for advice, he didn't want to get Vil's views on it cause he was still a bit salty towards him.

Rook being two steps ahead ( and really good at reading people) told him, "Go for something sincere! From the heart, something special to show them you care and pay attention! That will surely make Trickster swoon for you!"

Epel was a bit surprised he didn't get some sort of strange answer from the vice house warden but he would admit that he did get some ideas from his advice.

He took hours trying to find something that was personal for you, he decided on something hand made, or hand carved I should say.

After a few conversations with you he found your favorite flower out and he quickly got to work.

He did sketch upon sketch trying to find the perfect design to carve for you sometimes taking free time in class which Vil finds a bit aggravating.

Once he had the design he got to work staying up into the late hours carving a beautiful and intricate design into the most perfect apple he could find (in the boxes in his room)

He also cast a spell on it so that the apple wouldn't rot and it would give off the sweet smell as if it was freshly cut.

He wasn't one for very sappy confessions unlike his dorm mates, but he still has one that's sweet.

You and Epel were sitting outside during lunch Ace, Deuce, and Grim were all in line to buy lunch so you and Epel had a moment alone which neither of you complained about

Epel took the apple that was in a small lavender box and gave it to you with a slight blush and smile "Here! It's somethin' I made for you!"

You decide not to bring up his change in accent as you carefully open the box to see the beautifully carved apple with your favorite flower with elegant patterns surrounding it.

You turn to Epel with a sweet smile and thank him but also ask him what the sudden gift is for.

His face gains a bit more color as he clears his throat, "I wanted to tell ya for awhile but there was never a good time since Ace and Deuce are always with ya." He said crossing his arms, "But I really really do care for you, and not just in the way friends care, I love ya... That's as mushy as I'm going to go though!"

Jade Leech

You either met through his twin or Ace and Deuce making some sort of contract and Jade coming to you to ask where they are.

Either way your first meeting isn't anything too grandiose or big, though how calm he was most of the time was quite intriguing to you

He didn't have any strong opinions about you at first until Floyd started to influence his thoughts

"Shirmpy is so funny sometimes~ Today they came into the Lounge trying to pay off Crabby and Mackerels contracts!" That was interesting do tell him more.

You can thank Floyd for helping his brother gain more interest in you.

Jade had asked you on many occasions if you would join the mountain lovers club. (tbh I would it seems like so much fun-)

If not you can sure as hell bet he'll be bringing you random mushrooms, does he know if they're poisonous or not? No, is he going to cook them up and find out? You bet.

Though he'd never purposely feed you poison mushrooms he does use you as a test subject for what ever weird combination he comes up with next

Though congrats! You have a semi-protective eel who will sometimes follow you around now!

I can see Jade as a person who will act like a gentleman to you and those he considers close

Someone talking shit about you? He's about to tell them off and subtly threaten them in the most calm and collected way possible smiling the entire way through.

Yeah to no one's surprise the amount of Savanaclaw students who want to pick a fight starts to drop like flies.

Sure there's still one or two who will talk shit and Jade will send a glare their way

That is if he's still only sure his relationship with you is platonic.

That would bring me to my next point, him realizing he's falling for you.

I can see Jade being in touch with his own emotions, a bit more so than his brother, so it doesn't take him long to notice the change in his view towards you

You go from semi-protective eel, to protective eel and another eel who just likes to bother and tease you

Jade would start to find any free time Azul allowed him to find you and make some sort of conversation with you until he's needed again

Usually he'll have Floyd with him too so you guys can have a fun hang out

now remember those Savanclaw students who were talking shit before??

Yeah they seemed to almost never run into you on campus once Jade figured out his feelings for you

Mostly out of fear that the Leech twin will be with you, but you don't need to know that

Jade will 'introduce' you to his little garden of mushroom terrariums that's honestly rather cute.

(If you get him another one or a new kind of mushroom for his collection he will love you forever no questions asked you are stuck with him-)

Jade similar to his brother feel like his confession would be more accidental and spur of the moment thing, hell he might not realize for a bit that he actually confessed!

I can also see him not even trying to make a move until he can tell you have some similar feelings to him.

I can see some student wanting to pick a fight cause who doesn't want to pick a fight with the non-magical perfect! (fr though why do we find a fight around every corner in game like I'm non-magical the fuck do you want???)

Jade just happened to be looking for you and stumbled onto the scene, to put it gently he wasn't very pleased with the situation.

"Excuse me? What do you think you're doing? Going up against someone who has no magic of their own seems a bit pathetic wouldn't you agree?"

He said still holding his smile and gentlemanly aura with his back faced to you you couldn't see the daggers being glared at whatever poor unfortunate soul decided to cross your path today.

The student quickly challenged Jade to a battle which of course he came out on top of making the other student cower and run away.

Jade turned to you and gave you a close eyed smile, "You know if I was with you all the time you wouldn't have to deal with these sorts of situations?"

Jade gently turned your head up to look at him (He's prob taller than you if he's not I am scared of you-) still having that smile plastered on his face, though his eyes are gentle with a caring gleam to them

"So if you will allow me, I'll be by your side so that no harm will come to you, How does that sound my dear?"

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 🤷🏽‍♀️ in October 2023: Gemini

3 Pentacles - 4 Cups - 4 Swords

Regarding: 7 Cups

You need time alone more than anything, you could have up to seven different people giving you perspectives on how to do this or you should do that, regarding taking the next step in a relationship with someone. This includes finances, that’s the whole point of the reading, I don’t know if you two are looking to buy a house, move in together, maybe get engaged, something like that. You could be quietly keeping your options open and they’re not aware of that, and expect commitment instead. Financial conversations are not happening, and need to, because they’re important. Most of all, it’s like you just hand the reins over to someone else when it comes to decision making, and this person is reversed, Owl is reversed, they are not capable of making the *best* decision for YOU. You are.

For some, it’s family, for others, it’s a lover, and for most it’s everyone with a mouth right, they love to tell you how they do things, assuming you’ll just agree and do it too. You probably go along to get along most of the time, if you don’t really care about the subject matter it’s like sure we’ll buy this one kind of mustard (cuz I really don’t even care). But with some decision you’re making now, you’re needing to block out all outside voices. Even me, wtf do I know? I don’t 💯

You’re working together with someone, or they are with you, but it’s for the wrong reasons. If you’re seeing someone, they’re thinking about getting a place together, and you’re over here entertaining like 6 other people…suuure let’s do that (so not doing that). Doesn’t have to be that story but it’s for someone. For others, there are just a lot of options, houses, directions, choices in life. Especially if this person is financially dodgy, the topic needs to come up, what do you expect financially from your partner if you’re getting involved with them on a lease? For example. Better to figure that out first right?

You don’t care to make a decision, because you don’t care about any one thing, and don’t want to cut off one by one to commit fully to anything. A house, a lover, a shade of blue, whatever this is. You weren’t that invested in the first place. But you could be stuck with the outcome of it. 4 Swords is you needing a break, time out, time to think your own thoughts and come up with your own truths, that you do need to share eventually. Some of you could be breaking up. Others are telling family or whoever to back off. If you’re being pressured to do anything, it’s probably not in your best interest, and Spirit is saying you know what’s best for yourself, or will, so do that.

A side story, if you’re sick or dealing with some kind of illness, it can be others refuse to give you the space and time you need to rest and get better. They need to be told to fuck all the way off 💯 And you go to bed, get better ❤️‍🩹 You will gain all of the clarity you need when you’re alone, outside of others’ demands, desires, suggestions, etc. I do get most people having good intentions, trying to be helpful. There is one in particular I’m seeing a problem with, but you’ll know - High Priestess, your intuition has already fired off about this one.

Animal Oracle: Condor 🦅

“You’re too enmeshed in this situation, so step back and see the bigger picture before making any decisions or taking action.”

You’ve lost perspective here because you either believe there’s something you absolutely need to have happen or else you’re simply being too stubborn to let go, step back, and take a fresh look at your circumstances. It’s the forest vs the trees dilemma. You’re too close to clearly discern the reality of what’s actually taking place. So make practice of detachment. Most people think of this as a cold, sterile way of responding, but nothing is further from the truth. It’s worse to remain so utterly involved and entangled that you lose perspective - and sometimes even yourself. This familiar pattern stems from the guilty feeling that somehow you’re not doing enough unless you’re completely immersed in a person or situation, continually trying to fix the problem, person or situation or rescue people. While this gives a temporary sense of satisfaction, it also creates unhealthy dependencies.

True detachment is objective compassion, where you still care very much but are distanced enough so you’re not under the illusion you can control the situation or person through your intervention or participation. 1st, be present and attentive. 2nd, speak your truth or remain silent. 3rd, keep the focus on what really matters. Lastly, let go of any attachment to an outcome. This is how you keep perspective. You can state your preference without insisting you get your own way. Express yourself, while honoring & respecting others, and see what happens.

Artist Oracle: ALIGHIERO BOETTI

- Know who you aren’t.

- Find clarity in clutter.

- There’s more than one way to read a map.

Advice:

- Achieve a Financial Goal

- Plan a Family Reunion

- Vote Someone Off the Island

Charms:

Cupid 💘 on The Lovers shows genuine love, you could feel like someone is your soulmate, or that’s what you’re looking for anyway. Or they feel that way about you. You are confused about taking something to the next level, the responsibility part of a relationship, after the fun has been had. It’s like this person isn’t very good at that part, or you aren’t that serious once you get to this part. You could be keeping someone quiet that wants to go public and you’re not sure you want that after all. Or more than one person is involved here.

Owl rev 🦉 on Queen of Pentacles rev is not wise, not financially astute, not someone who is gifted in the financial realm. They can barely take care of themselves much less make your financial decisions, and yet at least once, you’ve handed over your choices to be decided by this person, for the sake of getting along. That needs to stop, you decide for you 💯

Key 🔑 on Achieve a Financial Goal is the whole point, the main message that’s coming through no matter the story. You take charge of your finances. You make it, save it, spend it, in the way you feel is best and focus on the things you value and desire for your life. Stop handing over your paycheck to someone else. If you’re caring for someone sure, but the conversation needs to be had, if they’re irresponsible (and they are) then you’re in charge, and you expect xyz from them in a financial sense. I don’t see Devils keeping you stuck, you allow it. If this is family it’s just “butt out my business”, respectfully.

[standardquip]

Heat Guy J Live Reacts

While watching Gungrave I remembered this show existed. Here are a compilation of discord messages I sent while watching the show over the course of ~2 weeks.

Key points: - This just might be an escaflowne AU - werewolves heck yes - better women than gungrave - surprise "tomatoes in anime" research

do I watch Heat Guy J (26 eps, similar to gungrave) or do I watch Black lagoon (29 eps, sexy guns starring a lady) I'm leaning toward Heat Guy J for my grey haired man quota I'm playing Heat Guy J ep 1 now so far the music is good lol kill bill inspired or kill bill was inspired bythis? I don't remember when either of those came out wow the voices are so much cooler sounding in japanese they just sound lame in english but english uses less brain power so I'll deal I'm gonna play all these at 1.5x speed because I'm on a strict schedule wow the cgi in this anime did not age well

I think this show shares a character designer with escaflowne … I might have to get this soundtrack damn this ost is all over the place but in a good way I'm only 12min into the first ep this is crazy ok alan schezar

hey look, it's Chid Freid all grown up

shut up, emo dildandau

also, they call the don of their mafia "vampire" (that's the title of the position) That's pretty neat

I'm pretty sure that's just a simplified bra design but this is the 2nd time she's shown up and all I can think of when I see her is "furry boobs"

this dude [Claire] seriously is dilandau straight up psychotic

werewolf or werecat? Hmmmmm

WHAT prisoners have their dna altered so when/if they escape prison, their faces are altered to look like beasts That is such an INSANE policy who puts sunflowers on a grave wtf

I started Heat Guy J I'm just starting ep 3 Here's my thoughts so far:

Surprisingly way more interesting than I thought it would be

The OST is god tier imo

Character design is very similar to vision of escaflowne

the android design is unique and cool bonus: at least one werewolf

ep4 it is a werewolf hecc yeah

"Have you seen my bunny?" I think I found Van

oh If we take personality into account This guy is actually folken

hot

this irish jig thing they have for the fight scenes is really entertaining

the russian roulette guy is the werewolf And I'm going back on the folken thing He's definitely Van ep5 I think this will be the last one for me tonight

fun times

[someone else says: Heat Guy J episode 1: October 1, 2002. Kill Bill Vol 1 premiere: October 30, 2003 ]

gonna try and get the next 5 eps of heat guy j done starting with ep 6 alright what's with the tomato symbolism in anime this didn't just come out of nowhere in new anime and now it's in heat guy j

[someone says: So Google has no idea why tomatoes I thought there would be like some sort of analysis on tomatoes as a symbolic device in anime ]

No it's probably not that direct like maybe japan exports a ton of tomatoes or something?

like if potatoes show up in some irish show There's a lot of history behind that (because of the potato famine) regardless of how they are actually used in the show There is a reason Just like how english is always saying "oh my god" or why they say "bless you" when you sneeze That seems benign but the reason for it is because english speakers are/were predominantly christian

Nobody's going to write an essay about why english speakers use "oh my god" or "bless you" in mass media It's something ingrained in the culture, so you'd have to look in a different context (different from its connection to why it shows up in tv shows a lot) to find the answer you're looking for

I guess ep 6 is "the stock market episode" oh boy they're really hamfisting the lessons in this one already oh boy they just explained the difference between stocks and commodities they also explained shorts (without calling them shorts)

J just caught a bullet with his BARE HANDS and it wasn't even a special scene or anything IT JUST HAPPENED

WHAT dilandau is like "I don't want you around anymore" to his butler so the butler is like "ok" AND THEN PUTS A GUN TO HIS HEAD FOR SUICIDE that's fucking crazy just leave the organization It was a free pass

ep7

cool he's got a scar now also it was just confirmed that THIS ONE is a cat

Back to tomatoes in anime: https://tasteofculture.com/2023/07/17/tomatoes-in-japan/ not as in-depth as I was hoping for

but my armchair guess is it symbolizes a gaijin making a big change to the culture and succeeding maybe an underdog story that also happens to look pretty

I wonder if this is why the tomato is getting spotlight in new anime https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Science/Japan-approves-gene-edited-super-tomato.-But-will-anyone-eat-it

why do japanese love the tomato so much? :skeptical fry.jpg: https://www.bbcspirits.com/gb/other-alcohols/729-liqueur-japan-la-tomato.html

ok so [person] might be onto something with the "it's just pretty" thing https://www.ishs.org/ishs-article/100_10 this abstract makes it more clear that tomatoes were grown primarily because they were pretty. They didn't start eating them until the 1920s!

starting ep 10 now

alright Let's see if I can get to ep 15 I want to start a different series

ep11 was about mind control You know, it's been awhile since we saw the werewolf guy I wonder if he'll be in ep12

Heat Guy J is way more entertaining than the trailer made it seem but there's no real over-arching plot so I'm kind of bored of it now But not bored enough of it that I am ok abandoning it without finishing HELL YEAH WEREWOLF GUY IS IN THIS ONE oh lame they reused the animation from the other episode 😔

ep13 (yay) if I could finish this series today, that would be cool idk if I can keep focused on it much longer though I actually kind of want to go to bed… :reigensweat: (it's only 6pm here)

Starting ep15 The last one for today oh damn they legit destroyed heat guy j they just gave the main character super lsd

… j will make a full recovery damn plot armor

damn MC's (Daisuke) got plot armor from the super lsd too what a letdown

well ep15 is over and nothing has fundamentally changed I'm going to bed I guess And by "Bed" i mean laying down and browsing reddit on my phone til I fall asleep

ok let's see if I can get through 16 - 20 of heat guy j tonight

ep16 MC's brother, alan with glasses, was shot and is in the hospital. I guess he doesn't have plot armor. Meanwhile, dildandau's organization tries to overthrow him because he's too psychotic I wasn't paying much attention, I'm not sure if it succeeded or not

ep17 continues this plot MC & J leave the city and MC smells clean air and grass for the first time He doesn't like nature smells one random side character is the voice of those toonami music video narrator's (outlaw star narrator?) and it's sooo weird

hell yeah werewolf is back werewolf guy aka van is actually just a deus ex He only appeared for 5 seconds to make plot armor for MC 😩 ep18 MC got fired from the special unit. So he and J are now no longer partners alan is out of the hospital I think MC is going after the gang organization that dildandau used to be head of. is currently head of? It's still confusing

ok looks like dildandau is uhhh not present mentally and is maybe on the run So I guess the coup succeeded lol dildandau's character name is claire rival crime gangs are all after claire because they need his eyes to defeat some retinal scanner to access a ton of gold

J has been re-activated to be the plot armor for MC, who happens to be in the same room as clair currently while this gang war is going on yadda yadda somehow MC got the special unit formed again ep19 MC trying to recruit werewolf to the new special unit oh werewolf history episode yay

werewolf joined them yay ep20 Probably the last one before bed tonight There's 26 eps total, so maybe I can finish it tomorrow ep20 today we learn lightsabers just casually exist in this universe oh There's also an evil clone of J apparently

the evil J is trying to kill the MCs but normal J is nowhere to be found I wonder why that is oh there he is finally J vs J battle has commenced J is so OP evil J is dead now ehhhh let's watch ep 21, then call it some random side character has lost his black cat, named juliet aaaand now he's dead

juliet sees it And with his dying breath, he reaches for the cat "I have to make sure that you get home" Sad surprisingly powerful for random side character who has never shown up before oh wait He has shown up before lmao his name is romeo of course he'd name his cat juliet poor juliet

ok ep21 done bed now finish heat guy j tomorrow hopefully

alright let's see if we can watch the last 5 eps of heat guy j today beginning ep 22 this time the killer machine is A WOMAN! you know, this show has more women than the last one (Gungrave), which is good, but so far every single "evil" woman has been mind controlled meaning apparently women don't have the power to be bad of their own accord So that's kind of weird that it's happened twice now

the mechanic for J is very obviously in love with him I mean it was obvious from the first ep she was introduced but now it's even more obvious This looks like it's going to turn into "the beach episode"

oh shit, the island's owned by sephiroth! 😂

ep 23 There's a reoccuring small girl photographer character. She sells photos from a carriage on the street with a mule. So we start this ep with her carriage (which is also her house) burning to the ground girl is stoic, mom is crying and sobbing Girl says "Darn. I forgot my camera. I bet I could've sold a photo of this to the news for some money"

monica (the girl) now lives with the special squad and she is spitting some straight facts J has agreed to pretend to be monica's dad She is using him as a stage performer so she can get money LOL Now she's using him to gamble haha

so you're telling me that in all the years MC has been carrying this bullet pendant around his neck, he never once tried to open it? give me a break Monica opened it and found a memory card inside which is a thing MC needed to solve a crime anyway, ep24 time woman assassin! is she acting of her own accord though? Let's find out

Turns out MC's brother, Alan (actually named Shun) was the evil one all along! Oh Female assassin is actually J's technician! womp womp and shun just killed her sad trombone.mp3 and now he's controlling J!

oh no.jpg

ep25 begins (second to last episode) claire/dildandau makes a triumphant return, to tell MC his brother is the one behind this! Because MC was too dumb to figure it out himself for some reason rather than MC fighting J, beautiful werewolf deus ex appears out of nowhere and forces J into sleep mode

something weird is happening with alan's voice I'm predicting he is actually an android as well Let's see if this bet pays off dildandau got his organization back

same face syndrome killed me the assassin was shun/alan's assistant, not J's technician time to start the final ep, ep26

this is dumb the anime is too episodic now what do I want to watch next? (even though ep26 is still going on in the background) - High Card - Link Click season 2 - Blood Blockade Battlefront - Grenadier - Noein - Black Lagoon

Currently I am interested in lots of guns and gray haired men idk which is more important so maybe a good 50/50 ratio is perfect 🤔 well if we go in download date order, I should do Black Lagoon next… MC to evil brother: "The only think I'm here to kill… Is your anger" 😂

plot armor is in full effect in this episode now there's fireworks because some random deus ex kills everyone that mattered to the coup evil brother tries to kill himself nothing matters evil brother is not an android sad evil brother does not die and decides to not be evil anymore they gave him amnesty This has less stakes than an MCU movie MC goes on a kino's journey without J series ends super lame I am going to make a very nonsensical decision and start High Card next oh no its japanese with subs only! 😩 I don't want to deal with that right now Guess I'll go with Black Lagoon

I finished Heat Guy J It's too episodic for my tastes Also the plot armor was super thick I have started Black Lagoon I'm on ep9 currently It's much better (Heat Guy J OST was still amazing though) the only thing black lagoon is missing is a silver haired guy

well there's 29 eps... More than enough time for one to show up

[youareinlove]

shuffle song game

so @thesunandstarss tagged me in a game where you take a playlist full of all the taylor songs, put it on shuffle, and then the first 12 songs that come up are what each month of 2024 will be like. i played that here but i wanted to do it for 2023. so let's see if the first 5 are accurate and what the next 7 are predicted to be!

january: forever and always (not accurate, per say, but not completely wrong?)

february: carolina (not rlly sure how to interpret this tbh)

march: anti-hero (SO TRUE OMG i had a messy era in march)

april: tis the damn season (not even a little bit lol, it was april and even spring break was uneventful)

may: mine (if you mean speak now tv announcement, then yeah, but otherwise NO lol)

----

june: maroon (ooh ok. im a lil scared)

july: this is me trying (NOOOOOOOO)

august: all too well 10 min version (wtf is wrong with the summer omg)

september: the lucky one (WHAT HAPPENS IN SEPTEMBER?)

october: picture to burn (hot damn someone made me mad)

november: christmas tree farm (ok bestie its not december yet chill a bit would you?)

december: never grow up (nothing major happens in december so now im scared ahhhhhhh)

not tagging anyone cause i already did tags for the last post, so just do this if you want to!

[coochiequeens]

For the second time today: WTF Scotland?

A man who identifies as transgender has admitted to sexually assaulting two female volunteers at a local food bank. Graeme Beck, 53, who also uses the name Jane Beck, targeted the women for abuse while working in the kitchen in the cities of Stranraer, Dumfries and Galloway, between 2021 and 2022. Additionally, Beck also admitted to having exposed his penis to coworkers in a separate incident.

Beck was also accused of repeatedly assaulting a 13-year-old girl but entered a plea of not guilty to the charge relating to that allegation,��The Scottish Sunreported. He will return to court in April.

Beck was set to go on trial on Thursday, February 23, facing four charges total but instead decided to plead guilty to three of the four counts — including two of sexual assault and one of offending public decency.

The court heard how Beck began to frighten the female volunteers at the Fed Up Community Cafe at Stranraer Baptist Church, a facility for adults struggling with alcohol and drug dependencies and financial problems. The sexual incidents began in October of 2021, when Beck was a patron of the services at the food bank.

In November of 2021, Beck began volunteering in the kitchen, and was afforded more close contact with some of the female volunteers, including the one he’d already harassed.

Imran Hussein, prosecuting, told the court that the first victim said that “Beck was nice to her at the beginning,” but quickly began to develop a habit of touching her without her consent. She explained that Beck grabbed her by the arm, and, when she asked what he was doing, replied “just a wee bit of Strictly,” in a reference to the television program Strictly Come Dancing.

On other occasions, Beck would approach the woman from behind and “slide [his] body against the back of the complainer,” according to the prosecutor.

Hussein added: “It was full physical contact – it was deliberate, sexually motivated and the complainer developed a genuine fear of the accused.”

Despite the sexual nature of the crimes, Hussein used “she/her” pronouns to refer to Beck in his statements to the court.

A second female volunteer told the court that Beck had sexually groped her during what she had thought would be nothing more than a friendly hug. As she moved away, she said the behavior constituted “sexual harassment.” Beck laughed in response, and the woman reported the incident to the police.

In a separate incident related to his work with cosmetics company Avon, the court was told how Beck would participate in weekly conference calls from his home in Stranraer with colleagues between October and December 2021.

“The accused would wear a loosely tied dressing gown with nothing on underneath,” said Hussein. “The accused was warned on several occasions in relation to her attire by one of the complainers. On at least two occasions, the accused’s camera slipped, exposing her penis which was seen by other members,” Hussein said, using feminine pronouns to refer to Beck despite describing his genitals.

Beck, originally from Leeds, had been previously jailed for two years in 2008 after sexually assaulting a sleeping woman he met through volunteer work conducted through a Christian organization. 

The woman, who began to trust him, had allowed him to sleep on her couch, and was horrified to discover that he had climbed into her bed, completely nude, before attempting to rape her.

When Beck appeared in court in August 2008, his lawyer Robert Campbell claimed: “It could have been worse.” 

Speaking to the Ayrshire Post during the court case, the victim said: “His lawyer said in court that it could have been worse. How could it have been worse? That is 

a ludicrous statement. I thought I was going to die. I was attacked in my own home, the place where I should be most safe.”

Campbell further attempted to argue that the victim was to blame, having allowed Beck back into her home the following day.

The victim blasted Beck’s lawyer in press, stating the defender had gotten the facts of the case completely incorrect: “How mad would I have to be to do that after what happened? That is factually incorrect … He ran off to Leeds the next day, where he was arrested. I had police and forensics teams in my house the whole day,” she said.

“It was also claimed in court that he left when I asked him to. Again, that isn’t true. I had to fight for my life to get him off me. He had his hand on my throat, I thought I would never see my children again.”

Beck had told the woman that he was unable to return to his own residence to sleep, claiming he had allowed another person to stay the night there.

“He tried to make out in court that we were in a relationship,” the victim told the press. “I had never been alone with this man before. I didn’t want to have him sleeping over in my house but as an act of kindness, I let him.”

“I’ve been through hell,” she added at the time, foreshadowing the most recent attacks by stating: “He is evil and I believe he will strike again.”

For the 2008 attack, he was placed on the sex offenders’ registrar for a term of 10 years, but his name would have been removed in 2018. Since pleading guilty to three of the more recent sex offenses he was charged with, Beck has been re-added to the register ahead of his anticipated sentencing in April. He has also been referred for a criminal justice social work report and risk assessment.

[sunoopsis]

meow :3

6) macy's - written (1.1k)

warnings! : mention of suicide (jokingly), unnecessary yapping by me im sorry

<september 30, saturday, 8:30 am>

Woken up by your alarm, your day was forced to start… You had to get out of the house by 9:15, any later and you’d be late. You sat on your bed, trying to regain your consciousness. Last night, you went to bed overjoyed from your small, but meaningful conversation with Jaemin. Fun fact, you tend to overthink in the morning. Sometimes, its a blessing, other times a curse. Your topic of overthinking this morning was Yizhuo’s message. Something about best friends, romance and Jisung not having the right to comment on it. What did it mean? Maybe it doesn’t concern you.. Oh, but what if it did?? Maybe you shouldn’t think so hard about something so unnecessary. No, seriously! You wasted 15 minutes thinking about this! That's, like, 5 more minutes than you normally waste! Before you can think about the topic again, you get up and wash your face, do your skincare, normal morning stuff. Now, you have very few tasks left, doing good!

You went back to your room and packed your bag. You packed your uniform instead of wearing it. Normally, back in middle school, you always wore tights and a shirt under your uniform, so you were super-protected. But, wow.. The high school uniforms were just TOO pretty to ruin by wearing something underneath. Last week, your team had a half-practice, which was just to set the basics for the team and get to know each other. And last week, you just wore your uniform as is, just with short-tights. You realized that it was actually pretty uncomfortable, soo… nevermind! You decided you’d just change when you got there. Because of this decision, you just wore a short-sleeve and sweatpants and headed to the kitchen.

You shot your team’s groupchat a text asking them their coffee preferences then treated yourself to some cereal. By the time you were done eating and brushing your teeth, everyone’s orders were transferred to your notes app. Finally, you put on your rollerblades and headed out. Since you lived quite close to the school, you and your brother skated to school and just kept a pair of shoes in your lockers (skating to school? wtf is this, cardcaptor sakura??). You took a little detour to the nearest cafe and ordered everyone’s coffees. Clutching the bags of coffee, you continued your way to school. Some people’s orders, you had already memorised from earlier years. Like Yizhuo’s(duh), and the captain, Minjeong’s.

Your team had 2 consistent captains. It was either Minjeong, or it was you. Whichever one of you guys was the senior, that is. You had a lot of respect for Minjeong, she’s very passionate and hardworking, she’s also a very dependable leader, she’s always been like that, for at least 4 years. You felt quite thankful for the Koreans in your school. Jisung, Minjeong, Jaemin…the list goes on. You’re thankful, because its not usual for Koreans to attend an international school. Ugh, are you really overthinking again?! Well, I can’t say I’m exactly against it, check the clock! Its 9:15! Can you believe it? Normally, you’d barely be out of the house by now, I’m proud of you! I’d love to explain the rest of your day in detail but.. Saturday wasn't actually supposed to be this long.. Because this chapter is about sunday… sorry.

<October 1st, 2023, Sunday, 9:00 am>

Good morning! You slept half an hour more than yesterday, impressive how you limit yourself, I’m jealous! Mark’s friends will arrive around 10 am. That means here's an hour until you get to see Jaemin again~ but it also means an hour until you have to work on your project…  Its fine! You're quite prepared. You have all the supplies ready, plus 5 seniors to help you! (actually 4, but unfortunately you had no idea donghyuck wasn’t coming. but its fine cuz his help probably would’ve been useless.)  You went on with your normal routine, wore something cute (not too cute cuz then you’d be overdressed), and went downstairs. You were greeted by your brother and annoying news.

“Good morning, (n/n)! Bring whatever you have prepared for the project here, its better for you two to work here.”

how unnecessary…

“What? why?” you were obviously confused, as you had no knowledge of this beforehand?

“Because then, Chenle doesn’t get left out, plus you get to see Jisung, yeah?”

(translation : I’m gonna keep an eye on the both of you and don’t forget Jisung is here so you don’t focus on Chenle too much)

You hesitantly threw him a thumbs up and went to get the stuff. Sometimes, you’d wonder… why the hell was your brother this overprotective?! Did he want to be the only popular-with-the-opposite-gender Lee? Or does he have some really confusing but genuinely good intentions? Yeah that mystery’s got a lot of time until its solved…

You waited patiently, occasionally gossipping with Mark to pass time. Time passed, and passed… And everyone slowly started arriving. Jisung came first, who you ended up spending time with until the second guest, Chenle arrived. Obviously, after Chenle arrived, you two were redirected to the table, And you started working. Both of you were so invested in your work that you didn’t even notice the others coming in at first. Time went by as you worked your hardest. Did you argue a lot? yes. Did you ask Mark and Renjun for help like a million times? yes. But did you get half of the project done in 3,5 hours? oh absolutely. You were impressed with yourself. Normally, if you were paired with Yizhuo (like you constantly have been for the past 9 years, with some exceptions), you barely would’ve gotten anything done. Considering that, maybe Chenle wasn’t so bad, after all.

You excused yourself around 15 minutes before 2pm, barely before they had left. You dressed nicely, of course! You were meeting up with your best friend, and there was a 90% chance of jaemin seeing you… When you went down to get out, they’d left, just as you’d planned. You dressed in a casual, but fashionable style. Simple tank top with a design and a tennis skirt. Normally, Mark isn’t quite fond of you wearing tennis skirts in crowded places, since he’s afraid of others thinking its a regular miniskirt, but you were just feeling like taking risks today :3c 

You arrived at the mall around 2:10 pm, all that was left was to wait for Yizhuo to arrive. Your plan was pretty simple. Treat yourself and Yizhuo to (a very late) lunch, and then look around to find and surprise your brother. Well, you… only managed to get half of the plan done.

because your brother was at macys and you fucking despised macys and would rather kill yourself than enter one ever again.

jeno is a vulgar lottle man plz forgive me im writing these half awake

-

no bc truly what were mark and chenle doing in macys😭😭

-

masterlist

not really a taglist but taglist: @thisisnotjacinta

[rainisawriter]

flufftober update

So I'm feeling like total ass right now and I don't have to energy to properly exist but through the power of technology I can lay in bed and write on my phone like a wizard

Originally, I was gonna do flufftober as all original fics. I changed my mind and was gonna do half original half fanfic. Guess what? I changed my mind again. I'm doing all fanfics bois

In the past two days despite feeling like the scum living on the bottom of your shoe, I've managed to complete 2 and a half fics and rewrite 2 already written original pieces.

I know I know, rain is being productive? Guess the apocalypse is coming. Also I have a virus... a motherfucking angst virus 🤧 I wanted these to be just straight up fluff but almost all of them so far have sprinkles (read: buckets full) of angst in the middle. Sorry about that but hey, at least the ending is nice

Its the 17th as of writing this (is2g it was just the 5th wtf) and I have 6/31 fics written 😳 feeling a bit of pressure but I got this (I think). I should be largely useful for about a week so let's see how many I can finish in that time

I can't edit the post on tumblr on my phone bc it's a pain in the ass but here's the updated ficography from my WordPress blog

[sxtaep]

tw: medical malpractice, negligence, blood it is sososo late right now but i really need to get something off my chest

ever since june 2022, i’ve had this recurring cyst appear on my back which would generally disappear after taking a course of antibiotics but the only issue was the problem would persist on a monthly basis. it was at first east to manage, i was still physically able to go into work and live my life as normal, but around august it started getting a little harder but thankfully when it happened it august, i was on annual leave so i was able to rest on it for two weeks before returning to work.

when the cyst appeared in october, once again i was prescribed antibiotics however the pain was almost unbearable to the point i had to go to a&e and wait overnight to be seen by a doctor who only advised me to continue taking my antibiotics and also referred me for surgery, WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR FEBRUARY 2023 but it was useless since the cyst cleared up again after about two weeks.

come to december 8th, the cyst came back and i was ONCE AGAIN prescribed antibiotics (which didn’t do anything) and after a few days my condition worsened to the point where i woke up one morning (december 10th) unable to sit straight, stand straight, walk properly without hunching over and that’s when my mum forced me to go to a&e.

i was waiting there for hours until i was seen by the doctor who determined i’ll have to have surgery that evening and will be required to stay overnight and of course, my mum and i were completely unprepared for that so my mum was making trips back and forth from the hospital to gather my things for the overnight stay.

i was briefed on what the surgery would consist off and precautions to anaesthesia and so on and i went into surgery and came out safely. i felt no pain when i came out and everything was going well.

i stayed overnight and was given the all clear to be discharged the following day, and the nurse who was looking after me advised me on how often to take pain killers and my new course of antibiotics and she also stated i’ll have to make trips to my gp nurse everyday to have my wound dressing and packing changed.

the day after, i go to my doctors office and meet the nurse there, who i pretty much end up seeing everyday for three weeks and she pretty much cleans my wound, changes the stuffing in the wound and dresses the wound again.

it seemed things were looking up, the nurse said it was healing super fast and after my last appointment before new year’s eve, she said i could take off the dressing after 2 days and that’ll be it for treatment.

the next day after my final appointment however, i started feeling pain again, the pain was like how it was before i got surgery and it was super painful so i booked an emergency appointment with my nurse after new year’s day and turns out the area surrounding my wound was extremely inflamed and hot and red, so ONCE AGAIN, i was prescribed antibiotics to tackle it.

i thought that was all, up until wednesday january 4th, that morning i woke up feeling something set and damp on my back and i was super confused, so i called my mum and asked her to come and check on me so she came into my room and saw a ton of blood all over my bed and my back (looked like a murder scene) and i was thinking wtf where did this blood come from im not even on my period.

i called 111 asap and they directed me to the hospital and as it would turn out, my surgery wound burst while i was asleep due to poor care. apparently, the nurse at my doctors office didn’t stuff and dress my wound properly during those three weeks so only the top part of the wound healed and not the inside, now making the wound even more deeper than it already was.

i was told to complain or try and sue the nurse but i couldn’t, she was too sweet and i genuinely think it was an honest mistake she made in my recovery.

now my recovery time has increased to 6 months, now going back to making trips to the doctors office EVERYDAY to stuff and change my wound dressing and that shit HURTS SO BAD i don’t think i can continue doing this everyday.

i literally can’t remember what my life was like before all of this, i’ve been off work, less socialising, pain overpowers my attention and i can never sleep at night out of fear i’m going to hurt my back. i can’t walk outside without someone with me to hold onto (can’t walk properly, i can only waddle).

every time i think negatively about my situation, i always remind myself that there are people out there who have it so much worse than i do and i need to suck it up and deal with it.

i hope i will be better in the next couple weeks maybe months even because i can’t move as normally as i used to and it hurts physically.

things will get better i hope 😁