#how can i explain patiently when the explanation is that i am not? the explanation is that i am losing my patience

[caffeinatedopossum]

I feel like for my whole life I've been so patient and so forgiving and that has always been the only thing about me that was rewarded to the point that I genuinely don't know if it's okay to stop being that or to be less of that or to be impatient and frustrated and angry as well

[yujo-nishimura]

"Rubber Duckies"

You are stuck with your studies and your research and you decide to use your crew members as rubber duckies to explain to them what you are doing in the hope of overcoming your writer's block. 

Words: 1023

Comment: This is something I wrote while I am really stuck. I hope his helps other people who experience the same right now or need a little motivational booster for their papers/exams. The whole fic is fluff with a hint at smut (Law and Kid just always leave me feral).

Let me know in the comments if I should add any characters.

Luffy

He would listen patiently the whole time, lowering his head, his eyes covered by his straw hat. After several minutes, you realize he has fallen asleep. When you ask him a follow-up question, he jolts awake and gives you his brightest, most infectious smile. Despite your frustration, you can't stay mad at him.

"It all sounds very complicated, Y/N," Luffy says. "But I believe in you, and I'm sure you'll excel at this. Now come here, we can cuddle and snack on some of the crisps I swiped from the kitchen!"

His boundless enthusiasm and unwavering faith in you, even when he doesn't fully understand the details, leaves you feeling a little less stuck. 

Robin 

As you explain your research question and methodology, Robin listens with rapt attention, her eyes never leaving yours. When you finish, she pauses thoughtfully before speaking.

"I think the only thing this study lacks is your confidence, dear Y/N," Robin says, chuckling lightly. Her words strike a chord within you - she has a way of cutting straight to the heart of the matter.

"Can I give you a hug?" you ask, feeling deeply grateful for her patience and wisdom. You know her insights have been invaluable, not just for this project, but for the whole crew.

Robin opens her arms widely and smiles at you. "Of course," she says, enveloping you in a warm embrace. At that moment, you feel the weight of your doubts and insecurities start to lift. Robin's faith in you is a precious gift, and it's exactly the encouragement you need to find the courage to complete your work and submit it.

Law 

You decide to explain your work to Law, hoping his keen analytical mind will provide valuable feedback. As you begin speaking, however, you can see his face growing increasingly impatient. He clenches his jaw, clearly struggling to hold back interrupting you.

When you finally finish, Law wastes no time in his critique. "I think the structure is off, Y/N. I don't understand why you chose this theoretical framework, and I'm lost - did you even have a research question?"

You gulp, suddenly realizing you may have forgotten to explicitly state your core research question. Law's piercing gray eyes have a way of making it difficult to maintain focus.

Seeing your flustered expression, Law sighs. "How about you give me the paper to read, and I'll go over it with a red pen?" he offers.

You nod enthusiastically, immediately moving to retrieve the document. "Not now!" Law interjects, grabbing your arm before you can turn away. A mischievous smile plays on his lips beneath his white hat.

"It may not be the best study," he admits. "But the way you've explained it, showcasing your intelligence, has left me wanting more."

Zoro

Falls asleep immediately. Despite your best efforts to engage him, Zoro remains unresponsive, his gentle snoring the only indication that he's still present. You continue talking, but it's clear you're essentially just speaking to yourself at this point.

In a way, Zoro has become the most authentic "rubber duckie" of all - the perfect listener, oblivious to the intricacies of your work, but providing a soothing presence nonetheless.

Sanji 

As you dive into the details of your research, you can't help but notice the adoring way his eyes are fixed on you. It's clear that Sanji is enamored, and would likely listen with rapt attention no matter what you chose to talk about.

You continue your explanation, confident that Sanji is absorbing every word, even if he may not fully grasp the intricacies of your work. When you finally conclude, Sanji erupts into enthusiastic applause.

"That was amazing, Y/N!" he exclaims, his face alight with genuine admiration. "You've done such an incredible job with this research. I'm in awe of your brilliance!"

You can't help but sigh, knowing that Sanji's feedback, while well-intentioned, isn't exactly the critical analysis you were hoping for. But as you look into his sincere, shining eyes, you also feel a sense of pride and relief.

Even if you haven't quite overcome your writer's block yet, having someone so genuinely praise your hard work feels like a reward in itself.

Eustass Kid

As you begin explaining the details of your research to Eustass Kid, it's immediately clear that he has little patience or interest in the topic. His brows are furrowed in what can only be described as an annoyed scowl, and he fidgets restlessly in his seat.

Despite his clear disinterest, however, Kid sits through your entire presentation, never once interrupting or trying to leave. You can't help but appreciate the fact that he's making the effort to listen, even if he doesn't seem to understand or care about the intricacies of your work.

When you finally conclude, Kid simply yawns and cocks his head to the side.

"So what's the problem with all this?" he asks, his tone bordering on disinterested. "Sounds like a solid piece of work to me."

You sigh, explaining to him once again that you feel stuck and unsure if you've done a good job. You're hoping for constructive feedback, but it's clear Kid isn't the right person to provide that.

Suddenly, Kid reaches out and grabs your hand, pulling you forcefully towards his chest. You can feel the warmth radiating from his skin as his low voice speaks calmly.

"You're asking the wrong guy about this, Y/N," he says. "I can't tell you if any of the things you did for this research make sense. But if you're struggling right now, I know a way to make you feel better..."

You blush as you realize the implication behind his words, and without further thought, you give in. Perhaps a brief break from your studies, spent in the comforting embrace of someone who cares for you, is exactly what you need to recharge and tackle the problem with a fresh perspective.

[lostintransist]

.. that idea on ghost coming back with his therapist’s contact is brilliant, could we get a pt2 when we do hit him up cuz,,, it’s inevitable and he pulls up in that same motorbike and actually plans a banger date?

Just for you! A part 2! Original post for anyone curious is here.

Also thank you for what I am percieving as patience, I had things to accomplish today. But it gave me time to think about this...

CW: I can't think of any.

You held onto the business card. No real explanation that would satisfy you or anyone who might have asked. And your best friend did ask. Repeatedly.

“You still have the card?” She asked over drinks.

Running your tongue along the inside of your teeth you debate on how to answer.

“Yes,” you reply curtly.

“And have you called the therapist or texted him yet? Do you even know his name?” She followed her questions with a sip of her drink.

“All I know is that when I search up S. Riley I get a few hits about a brother to a home invasion that ended badly a few years ago and nothing else. No one on social media matches him and without his full name or maybe a birthday I can’t find much else about someone that might be him.” Flopping back into the couch you watch your drink slide side to side as you tip your glass.

“You don’t have to call him but you have to make a decision about this soon,” she chides.

“No decision is a decision though.”

She gives you the flattest stare she can muster. Seeing as your best friend is autistic it’s a pretty impressive flat look.

Heaving a sigh you concede the point.

“Fine. I get it. I can’t avoid this forever, what if he finds me at a coffee shop again and asks why I haven’t called? S. Riley sure does seem like a man who doesn’t know how to leave well enough alone.”

“I think you should call and tell the therapist to inform him that you would like to never see him again, but you have this whole ‘attracted to the adventure’ thing going on.” She rolled her eyes.

Aghast at being so well identified, it does not matter that she is your best friend, you fire off a rude gesture at her. She only laughs.

“At least I never have to worry about not realizing I fumbled the woman of my dreams three months late,” you say with a wicked grin.

“It was one time!” Your best friend launches one of the couch pillows at you.

“Twice.”

The purest look of concern crosses her face.

“Twice?” Comes her panicked ask.

“Once at the bar,” she nods, “And then last week at the bookstore.”

Watching her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open you can’t help the full-body laugh that overtakes you.

“I thought she was just being nice!” Her voice gets squeakier with each word.

You are laughing so hard you can’t breathe.

“I fucking love you and am so glad we are best friends,” you manage to croak out between ab-shredding laughs.

💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠

Your next early day off of work you pop in your headphones and call the number printed on the business card. It sat between your insurance card and your driver’s license. Those two cards didn’t see much action and would keep the business card from disappearing.

“Thank you for calling Healing Sky Therapy, how can I help you?”

“Yes, is Anna Mortz available?”

“For a phone call or an appointment?” The sound of clicking keys bubbles over the line.

“A phone call, I am calling to speak to her about a current patient of hers.”

“Okay, and are you a provider?”

This causes you to pause. Did you really need to explain why or how you were connected to this crazy situation? No. Bare bones it is.

“No, I should be listed as a person who can discuss the care of a patient of hers who goes by S. Riley?”

“Okay,” she drags the word. “It looks like I can drop a call in her schedule in about forty minutes if that would work for you?”

“That would work great, can I give you a callback number?”

“Yes, I can take that when you are ready.”

Finishing up the phone call you grabbed your grocery list and headed out the door. Your phone rang as you were transferring bags from your cart to your trunk. The number looked vaguely familiar and so you answered.

“Hi this is Anna Mortz, I am returning a phone call.”

“Yes, hi Anna. I am the one who called.”

“That was in regards to Simon Riley, right? Let’s go through some information on my end to make sure that we can discuss him first okay?”

“Absolutely,” you slam the trunk closed and return your cart while confirming all of your information.

“So, what questions can I answer for you?” Anna started.

“Let me get settled and I will give you the rundown.” Tossing your purse to the passenger side and locking the door you get situated in your seat. You push a large breath from your lungs and start. “Okay, so this is a weird situation. The long and the short of it is that Simon had been dating a friend of mine several years back and they were not good together. He was being a pushy asshole who refused to let the relationship die and she was codependent to a deeply unhealthy level. My friend asked for help in telling him off once and for all. She tended to cave and give into having sex every time he came by to start a fight. That is where I met Simon.”

Anna made a noise of confirmation. You took it as permission to keep telling your story.

“Nothing more came of that except my friend and I drifted apart, nothing major and not important to the story. I ran into Simon next at my friend’s wedding reception. I don’t know if he showed up to confirm to himself that it was really over or if she actually invited him but,” you paused here eyes tracing the dash of the car parked in front of you. With a slight shake of your head, you focus back on your phone call. “That is neither here nor there. He hit on me that night and I told him basically to fuck off and go to therapy if he wanted a shot at that conversation.”

Puffing your cheeks with air you slowly let it out, you felt like you were explaining a whole crazy situation to the principal.

“He ran into me at a coffee shop close to probably a year later, dropped your card on the table with his number on the back, and insinuated that I would call because I was interested in him.”

“Okay, that is pretty close to the story he told me as well,” Anna speaks with kind authority. “What I can tell you from a clinical standpoint is that Simon struggles with C-PTSD, which is complex post-traumatic stress disorder. This basically means that Simon has been through so many traumatic events at so many points in his life that he has a hard time functioning day to day without it affecting every aspect of his life. I can also tell you that we have been working on him gaining some coping abilities and practicing social skills.”

“Okay, I guess what I am asking is that if I go on a date with him will I end up with a stalker who will end up killing me in the night if I say I don’t want to see him again?” You lay your concerns bare. She’s not your therapist so her judgment worries you a bit less.

“While nothing is guaranteed,” she hedges, “I cannot see that kind of behavior occurring with the progress Simon has made. He has scheduled out appointments weekly for the next three months with me and has even mentioned he is working on some other types of therapy I have recommended to help him process his traumas further. He’s actually doing the work to deal with his issues. I think he is here because he wants to be, you happened to be the trigger.”

Resting your elbow on the steering wheel you leaned your head into your hand.

“Whew, okay. Thank you. That is actually really helpful. How is he about accepting boundaries?”

“He is familiar and comfortable with them in a work context but if you choose to interact with him I know personal boundaries will come up in our sessions. So, I would keep it in mind when interacting with him.”

“Okay, thank you so much Anna this call has been,” a slight pause, “Enlightening. I appreciate your time.”

“Happy to help. Have a good day!”

With that the phone call ends and you stare down at your phone. Flicking open your messaging app you add the contact you saved to it almost a month ago.

<Your therapist seems nice.

Three minutes pass as you watch the screen. It goes black once and you wake it with a tap on the screen.

Tossing it to the passenger side on top of your purse you put the text from your mind. You instead focus on pulling out of your spot. Parking lots are of the devil and you aren’t even religious like that.

Five days pass before a message dings on your phone from one S. Riley.

>Can’t say she is nice to me. I get a lot of mean looks from her.

Setting a timer for an hour and thirteen minutes you let the text simmer. You hope he can see that you have opened the message.

<You normally take a work week to respond?

>Only when I am on a job.

The reply comes in instantly.

<What kind of jobs keep you from your phone?

>Classified.

<Ooh big brain work then. Got it.

You snort at the eye roll emoji he sends.

>So, have you decided if I can hit you up yet?

<I’m thinking about it. If I were to say yes, where would you take me?

>Indoor sky diving.

You read the three-word message at least six times, check out the closest indoor sky diving place near you, and then finally reply.

Starting and erasing three messages you finally settle on one.

<Would we ride your bike there?

>Unless you would prefer to talk on the drive over?

What do you talk about with a man when you had to check with his therapist that he wouldn’t murder you?

<Bike sounds like fun.

>Saturday?

<Maybe. Time?

>2

<Done. Pick me up at noon and we can grab lunch?

>No, you’re going to want an empty stomach. Dinner instead.

Narrowing your eyes at the message you debate the logic of testing a boundary yet. The advice to not have a full stomach did look like a good one.

<Fine, but nowhere fancy. If I can’t roll up in the same outfit I don’t want it.

The only reply you get for several hours is a thumbs up on your message.

Guess you had a date coming up.

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here...

I just wanted to check in and basically bring some calmness back which I feel like is probably needed. I've been reading a lot of the comments and a lot of the different blogs. I've got some things I want to touch on. The other ship if y'all run across any of their comments just scroll on past. They want to cause problems. They have attacked other people and other pages simply because they do not believe the same things they believe. I've seen them call us crazy I've seen them Call us delusional. Realistically speaking there's not one creator on here that has insider information. It doesn't matter how big the creator is they don't know. So to fight with them is probably a waste of your time. It's not gonna get you anywhere. They're gonna be stuck on what they believe for whatever reason they believe it. Don't waste your time. Another thing I want to touch on I seen some comments on some other blogs that people are feeling like Nick and Luke owe them because they've given us crumbs. They have in my opinion, given us crumbs. But we can't say for sure that it's not us reading too far into things. I don't think we are but these are people with actual lives with actual likes and dislikes so if they share a song, it just might be because they like the song. Or if they take a walk with a friend, it might just be a simple walk with a friend in a crowded space. Now what we've seen I think things are probably more complex than what we think that they are. Life has a way of making things difficult. Then you add people and things become even harder. So while I would love for Luke and Nicola to launch the reality is they have to do that when they're confident enough in their relationship. They're going to be around other people. They're going to be seen with other people. You have to remember that what we don't see is what they're trying to protect that's the stuff that they keep closer to their chest to protect it. We got a glimpse that Luke was actually around Nicola through the picture the stylist posted. That's something that they clearly want to protect and that's a great sign. We just have to be patient. Ultimately, these are actual people with real lives and with real feelings. I feel like we have to remember that. And if you're feeling angry or sad you probably then need to take some time away from this. You cannot let anything affect your mental health. I am in it for the long-haul I think that there's more going on behind-the-scenes. I think that things aren't as easy to explain nor do we deserve the explanation and for those of you that are tearing apart everything they do get a life. We have to remember that we cannot expect something that you yourself would never be able to give. We demand explanations on decisions that they have personally made and we personally would never explain to strangers the decisions we've made in our lives. How can we hold them to a higher standard than we hold ourselves to? Again, they are people with feelings and problems.

As always, thank you Calm Theory Anon!!

No notes!

[kteezy997]

Daddy's Boy-Part Three//t.c.

Information: little bit of angst, and lots of fluff

You kept your phone close at all times that evening after getting home from work. Theo asked about his dad when you picked him up from daycare, when you got home, while you were making dinner, when you were eating dinner together, and he even took a break from playing in his room to ask about him once more.

"He promised he would call, Theo, but he’s working. So you just have to be patient." you had told the anxious three-year-old.

It did feel like ages for you as well as you waited to hear the phone and Timmy's voice on the other end of it. You felt yourself falling for him all over again. You had no way of stopping it, nor did you really want to.

You were beginning to worry that it would be passed Theo's bedtime by the time Timmy called and he would miss talking to his father.

Time dragged on, and bedtime came. Theo was obviously upset that he did not get to talk to his daddy. Meeting him and playing with him the day before was like a whole new beginning for the young boy.

You told your son that you were sorry, but that you were sure Daddy just got caught up with his job.

"What job does Daddy have?" Theo asked as you helped him into bed.

"Well," you decided to tell him the truth, as he would find it out eventually, "he makes movies."

"Like superheroes?"

"Kind of, yeah. Um, he pretends to be other people in movies. It's called acting. Your dad is an actor."

"Wow, that's cool." Theo smiled, "I wish he came to play today."

"You'll see him again soon, I promise. Daddy loves you, bubs." you then kissed your little boy's forehead. "Get some sleep, okay? I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay. Goodnight, Momma."

You watched him turn onto his left side, his long lashes fluttering closed. You were instantly reminded of Timmy sleeping the same way, on the same side, facing you in the bed. He would get comfortable and then pull you into his chest, holding you all night long. You always slept so well when you were with Timmy.

Timmy loved to cuddle, and so did his son. It was so crazy to you how alike they really were, even without being in each other's lives. It was as if they were in sync no matter what.

You left Theo's room, hoping that Timmy would still call. You hoped he would call and make plans to come hang out with his son soon.

But that call never came. You were shocked that you hadn't heard anything from him, not even a text, before you went to bed. He had seemed so eager to talk to Theo again. Your heart sank, thinking that he didn't mean it. Those old feelings of being unwanted came to you as you tossed and turned in your sleep that night.

This is what you wanted to avoid all along. This sadness, this feeling of being alone, none of it was what you wanted for your child.

You decided to invite happy thoughts to your mind. You knew Timmy, he had no malice in his heart. He wouldn't ever hurt anyone on purpose. You were sure that he would have an explanation for tonight.

…..

The next morning, you had a text message from your son’s father:

I am so sorry! Please tell Theo I didn’t mean to miss our call. Just call me when you wake up and I will explain everything.

You didn’t type out a response, you called him, eager to hear what he had to say. You tried to make your disappointment in him subside.

“Hey, I’m sorry about last night.” Timmy answered, “My meetings ran over into the evening and I just got home and crashed. I was so exhausted.”

“Okay, but that’s not an excuse, Timmy.” you did sympathize with him, for sure. He was still extremely new to the parenting thing. But you also wanted to be firm with him, because this was a serious matter, and he needed to really understand that.

“I know it’s not. But can you give me another chance to make it up to you and Theo? Please?” he was really trying, you knew that. He only wanted to make things right.

“Of course you can have another chance. Um, are you busy later today? You can come with me to pick him up from daycare.”

“No, I’m not busy. I’d love to do that!”

“Okay, great. Just send me your address and I’ll pick you up after I get off work?”

“Sounds perfect. I can’t wait to see him. Bye, y/n.”

“Bye, Timmy.”

…….

“So, I talked to Timothée-I mean, your daddy and he said he was so sorry about missing your call last night, but he’s gonna be there with me to pick you up from daycare.” you said to your son as you were ready to walk out of the door together.

"My daddy is gonna pick me up! Yaaay! I so excited!" Theo cheered.

You giggled, "Yep, he's excited to see you too."

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, and then finally it was time to pick Timmy up. He was waiting for you outside his apartment building. He smiled when he saw you pull up.

He opened the passenger side door and hopped into your car. "Hey, how was your day?" he asked. His bubbly demeanor was intact as ever.

"Oh it was good. Kinda boring."

"Same here. Had some phone calls and emails, but nothing major. Did you tell Theo I was coming?" he asked, looking over at you as you put the car in drive and took off.

"Yes, I told him. He was super excited. He even said so." you giggled.

"Good, so he's not upset with me?"

"No. But I think you and I should talk about some things later, like, if you would eventually like to keep him overnight and things like that." You glanced over at him and he nodded immediately.

"Yeah, I'd love that. You're right, we do have a lot to discuss. This is all so new to me still."

"I know it is, and I want to help you with the process as much as I can. I can tell that you really want to be in his life, and I want us to be successful coparents. Theo deserves the best."

"I agree."

.......

You lead the way with Timmy into the gathering of other parents at the daycare center waiting to pick their children up as well.

"Oh, there he is." you nodded ahead, spotting Theo as he sat at a small table with a sweet looking little red-haired girl. You then noticed that Theo was holding hands with the girl.

"What-uh, what's going on there? Why is he holding some girl's hand?" Timmy asked, frowning.

"I think that is Everly, his little girlfriend." you said, looking at his face for a reaction.

Timmy was clearly taken aback, "Girlfriend?!" His voice was rather loud and a few parents glared over at the two of you.

"Keep your voice down, Timmy." you warned him in hushed tones.

"Sorry." he whispered, then returned his voice to a softer, indoor one. "I just don't know how to feel about my three-year-old having a girlfriend.

You laughed, "It's harmless, Timmy. They’re just little kids. And she's sweet. She and Theo play so well together."

Timmy sighed, all serious, "Yeah, well I don't think I had a girlfriend that young."

You shook your head, giggling, "You're ridiculous."

"Okay, parents, you may collect your children!" called out one of the daycare teachers.

Theo was one of the first kids to come out, and he yelled, "Daddy!" as he ran into Timmy's arms.

"Hey buddy!" Timmy sang as he picked up his son into a warm embrace.

You couldn't help but smile at the sight of the two of them. They were like two halves of the same soul. Seeing your son so happy made your heart warm, but seeing Timmy acting so soft and carefree with your child made you melt.

You all went out for pizza because Theo told his daddy that that was his favorite food. Afterwards, they played for hours at home.

For some reason, Theo wanted to bring his basketball hoop into the living room. You said, "Okay, as long as you're careful and don't break anything."

You thought that maybe he wanted you to see him and his dad playing. Like he wanted you to be apart of it too. You could see how delighted Theo was to play with Timmy. He'd never had a male figure to play these games with. He also loved the challenge of someone bigger than him trying to block the hoop when he would shoot the ball.

After playing basketball for awhile, Theo wanted to play with his building blocks, so he and Timmy dragged his big box of blocks into the living area as well. You got a kick out of their antics.

They had built a rather impressive castle together by the time it got dark outside. "And that's where the princess lives." Theo said, pointing to the highest point of the pretend castle. "She has a pet dragon that lives outside the castle."

"Oh, does the dragon protect the princess?" asked Daddy Timothee.

"Yes, it does! He breathe fire at anyone who tries to hurt the princess."

You smiled at how animated your son could be. But he came by it honestly, as he was Timothee Chalamet's offspring.

"Theo tonight is bath night, okay?" you said, reminding him.

"Okay." said the three-year-old. He looked down, disappointed about playtime with dad coming to an end.

........

But Theo's chipper mood returned when Timmy told him he could stay to help him with his bath. Theo put his little shark bathrobe on after dried off and Timmy offered to brush his damp, curly hair.

You sat on the toilet lid, as Timmy kneeled down to his son's height to comb through the tangled locks on his head.

Theo groaned as the brush tugged on his hair.

"Yeah, I know that hurts buddy, I'll be more gentle." Timmy squinted his eyes, as he became more focused on the rats in Theo's hair. He made shorter, slower strokes with the brush, combing throught the curls thoroughly, so Theo wouldn’t feel any pulling.

You realized that Timmy had understood Theo's hair texture better than anyone else ever had because it was the same as his own.

“Okay, all done.” Timmy announced, patting Theo on the head.

You let Timmy put Theo to bed. The little one was actually pretty tired after the long day, and didn’t fight going to bed at all.

You waited for Timmy in the kitchen. You both knew that a discussion was needed.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @robertpattins0nswh0re @yukideadinside @mel-vaz @thatoneweirdgirl17 @iwishchalamet @jindongdongie @elloise0 @timotheechalametsgfnotclickbait @renny26 @briefkittenearthquake

[deathbyathousandspiders]

omggggg can i request billingual reader and maybe peter finds it cute that when shes explaining stuff she has a thinking face of what to say next cos she wants to be sure of how to say it in english 🥹 or maybe hearing her speak in her mother tongue/native language does he find it cute or smn :(((((((

as a white english–speaking woman, i only feel comfortable writing for a bilingual reader with a language/culture that i’m relatively familiar with and could properly represent, which isn’t many :,)

so i will write an imagine for a bilingual reader with a language i’m going to school for: ✨sign language✨

i hope that’s okay :)

a/n — i am still a student and i’m constantly learning, so if there’s a detail or some information that i’m incorrect about, please tell me asap !!!

✨masterlist✨.

2.5k.

Sitting alone at cafes was a custom for you. People watching, spectating murmurs and laughter but never quite grasping it. You lacked the understanding of how the sound captured their conversing, but you weren’t missing anything. Your focus was mainly set on finishing your chemistry homework, anyways.

Midway through an equation, the light shifted over your table. You felt the dip in the booth on your left and looked up to see who sat beside you. Your eyes met the deepest brown pair you swore you’d ever seen. It was almost like the rest of the room lit up with color after you first caught a glimpse.

You certainly recognized the boy. He went to school with you, but you’d barely crossed paths other than having a class or two together. And from the way he glanced at your paperwork, you assumed that chemistry was on his schedule too.

His lips moved, and your eyes studied their shapes as best as they could. Perhaps he was nervous, or overly caffeinated, but the movement was too swift to distinguish.

Slowly, you shook your head at him, right index finger pointing to your ear. Apology and disappointment weighted your eyelids. You really did want to see what he wanted to ask you, but your expectation was for him to up and leave.

Instead, sudden understanding washed over him; a look of epiphany. Quickly after, patience overtook the presence beside you. You were shocked. He tried to slow his words of choice down, using his hands to illustrate but not really communicate. You could tell he was trying, so you didn’t want to make fun of his efforts. The smallest fit of laughter threatened to slip from your lips as you gestured at him to stop.

From the table, you grabbed your notebook and flipped to an empty page. Your pencil flew over the page to jot down a question:

‘Do you know any sign?’

You figured that was a start.

Watching the way he smiled, you nearly forgot to hand him your pencil to reply. Your eyes followed his hand as it met the parchment and scribbled so gently, it surprised you to see writing even stuck. He pushed it over to you. ‘Yes, I know one’

Your eyes met, and you studied him patiently. His right hand sat atop of his left elbow, holding a fist that excluded his pinky and index fingers; a rockstar skull. His left hand rested beneath his right elbow, opening and closing a fist with a flicking motion. It was a sign you knew all too well. ‘Bullshit,’ you watched him mouth.

The giggle bubbles through your throat with physical feeling, and your hands gently pressed his arms to make it stop. You shook your head, smiling as you corrected him.

Your dominant hand met your chin with an open hand, lightly touching the tips of your fingers to your face. As you moved your hand to the space in front of you, you closed your hand into a fist.

‘Bullshit,’ you mouthed back at him. The crinkle in the boy’s brow marked his confusion.

Pen met paper again as you wrote out the explanation. ‘Hearing people came up with a fake sign to act like they knew shit.’

He looked up at you with some disgust to his expression, and you simply shrugged at him.

Politely, he held his hand out for the pen, and you gave it to him with the trust that he’d return it soon after.

‘Then maybe you could teach me some instead?’

The grin on your lips was unbreakable, and only seemed to grow the more you kept up the conversation. You nodded your head, writing a simple ‘sure:)’ beside his note. You met his eyes again, pointing to your chest before swiftly fingerspelling your name. The boy marveled at your hand, equally lost and mesmerized.

His pointer finger rapidly twirled the air, circling near his face four or five times; you assumed that meant he wanted you to repeat yourself. So, you agreed.

Slowly, you held out each hand shape of your name a little longer, waiting til the twinkle in his eyes indicated that the letter was registering for him. It was fairly entertaining to watch.

He wrote it on the notebook once he got it just to clarify with you. ‘Y/N?’ He seemed nervous for your reply.

You signed yes, then gestured for him to do the same. You wanted to see what his name was.

Hesitantly, the boy tried his best, bouncing each hand shape to the letters of his name. It made you happy to see his attempt, and you were fond of his efforts.

Pulling the notebook closer, you jot down his name. ‘Peter?’

You’d never forget the way he smiled at you afterwards. ‘Yes:)’ He wrote back. ‘You want help with chemistry?’

And that’s how you met Peter Parker.

You were an unlikely duo at Midtown. It was nice to have somebody in the classroom to have secret conversations with, and to teach sign to. Peter picked most things up pretty quickly, especially because he had an excellent teacher. Plus, little did you know that he watched ASL courses off YouTube in his free time.

That is, his freetime when he wasn’t being Spider–Man.

He never told you that he was Spider–Man. In fact, you didn’t find out he was until a few months into your friendship. After months of study hours and movie nights, you watched Spider–Man signing to a Deaf kid on the news; the web–slinging superhero signed what like salad.

That was a classic Peter Parker mistake.

So, when were you planning to tell me you’re Spider–Man? You asked him, signing nonchalantly. You’d waited all week until you two were alone, studying like you normally did on the weekends. You sat back on his desk chair, raising a brow, calm and collected.

It took everything in him not to forget how to respond. Peter had been practicing sign, but he still wasn’t nearly as versed as you were. What? He started. Poor way to respond on his part. You pointed at his hands, trying to call him out.

That! You were so determined to catch him in his coverup, opening your laptop.

His hands flailed to try and capture your attention. However, your laser focus was something he couldn’t cut.

Having the clip ready, you played it, turning the screen towards him and showing him the fluke in his signs.

Peter facepalmed when he noticed, face red as a tomato but you couldn’t care less. You felt more than accomplished to have deciphered his secret. You owe me!

Signing, Peter got over himself a little, rolling his eyes playfully at you. Whatever, fine!

To help Peter practice his signing, you’d dismissed your in–class interpreters the second the bell rang and had Peter translate your questions to your teachers. Perhaps it was selfish to put him on the spot, but when you’d asked him about it later, he said he was more than happy to help you out.

He enjoyed learning sign, almost as much as he enjoyed his time with you. Peter had never met anyone as amazing as you; nobody that he’d met before watched the world with your eyes, or lit up a room so vibrantly. You always asked the right questions, saw straight through people’s bullshit, and put others’ needs far before your own. Don’t even get him started on the fact that you’d never even heard your own laugh before.

Peter couldn’t wrap his head around all the things he thought you were missing out on. That was how he saw it, at least, til you changed his mind. He was grateful to know how your fit of giggles sang to him, but there was more things to life than that. Sound was only one way to see the world; if you choose to act like it’s a principle more than a privilege, you’ll get nowhere. He knew he’d waste time dwelling on things you weren’t even sad over.

Instead, Peter would marvel at how fluently and beautifully you’d sign when you were passionate about something. The choreographed tangents that you’d go on absolutely mesmerized him, even though he could only pick up one or two things you were saying.

Your hands moved so fast, he second guessed whether you were actually communicating or just painting a masterpiece with the shapes of your hand.

That blissful, ecstatic look in your eyes told Peter everything he needed to know. He was the luckiest boy in the world to know you.

You were the most joyous person he knew.

That joy was a strength that you’d gained overtime, though.

Rushing down the school halls, you had memorized the rhythm underneath your feet as you pattered down the tile. You always pictured the sound like something fragile, or feathered, especially seeing as your shoes had rubber soles. Sometimes, when you walked slow enough, you could feel the rattling steps of other students around you.

Today, specifically, the rumbled pattern beneath you threw you off your rocker.

Especially as the charging steps behind you tread right in your direction.

A hefty pair of hands shoved your shoulder blades, pushing you toppling into the floor beneath you. The sound of chatter couldn’t be heard, but you certainly felt the energy in the hallway shift. Pressing off the floor with your hands, you noticed the eyes now mindful to your presence. You had an audience.

You flipped yourself around to look at the shadow towering over you. Some flimsy–looking, curly haired, short classmate of yours stood above you. His hands perched on his hips as he spewed words at you, mouth moving far too quickly to lip read. You stayed there, staring up at him with a glare, merely making out the words ‘stupid’ and ‘Parker’ from his muted speech.

You were used to bullies, but you couldn’t sit while this dickhead kept Peter Parker’s name disrespectfully in his mouth.

Just as you pressed up to rise to your feet, this bitchass shoved the toe of his shoe right in the center of your chest, pushing you back into the ground and leaving dirt all over your favorite top. You felt the gasp leave your throat, trying to fight against it.

That’s when Peter Parker swooped in and forced the boy away from you. Anger wasn’t an expression you’d seen on Peter’s face, and you couldn’t tell whether it was something to awe at or fear.

Their echoed shouts and feuds and insults bounced from the floor and into your fingertips. You could tell the words they exchanged were ugly, considering that the two were face to face and both had such crease to their eyebrows. Fists clenched, shoulders squared, you could tell they were about to brawl.

Peter threw the first punch, taking you by surprise but still sending a smile to your lips. The two boys had a displeasing fight to the eye, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to look away.

A girl to your left offered a hand to help you off the floor, to which you signed a quick thank you before both of you saw the boys getting caught by a set of teachers. All it took was a second before the two boys froze dead in their stances and peacefully walked with the teachers down the hall to the principal’s office.

In an instant, all eyes found their way to you and your dirt–stained top. Before you let them react to the heat growing on your cheeks, you rushed off, going to the one place you knew you wouldn’t be disturbed in.

Two and a half hours passed before Peter walked through the open door of his bedroom, a small smile on his lips as he greeted you. Are you okay? He signed quickly, soon shutting the door.

Are you okay? You signed right back, swift to press off your spot on his bed and walk over to him. Peter was the one with the blackened eye and busted lip. Clearly he should be the one to worry about. Your hands found his cheeks and gently cupped his face as you looked at his injuries. The sight broke your heart.

Although, you weren’t expecting to see his pale cheeks brighten with red in your grasp. You could feel the second when his breath stopped fanning your face, and that’s when you realized that his breath had been fanning your face; you were inches away from him. The atmosphere of the room changed.

‘What?’ You mouthed, brows creasing together with concern. You weren’t stupid, but you were definitely choosing to ignore the obvious. There was no way that Peter Parker was flustered by you, right? That was preposterous.

His eyes threatened a glance at your lips before you felt his fingers curl around your wrist. Peter moved your left hand to his chest, pressing against his heart. The skin beneath his shirt pulsed against you, and quickened by the second. Things felt very intimate, things felt very thick and hot and heavy. You didn’t notice it til right then that the room was getting hotter.

Your eyes caught a glimpse of his lips and you hadn’t noticed that you were staring at them. Peter’s face moved closer to your’s and that’s when you decided to be bold. You captured his lips with yours, kissing him tenderly, careful. The caress of his hands down your sides and grasp he held around your waist told you that you didn’t have to tread as cautiously.

Peter kissed you and every inch of you felt warm. You swore you’d lifted off the ground when his hands held your back, your hips, your waist. His lips against yours truly felt something like magic and you never wanted to leave this moment. A moment where his hair was silk between your fingers and his body became one with your’s.

Pulling back, Peter kept his arms around you, now taking the time and the close proximity to study you and your injuries; you learned to recognize the protective look in his eyes. His stare stopped and stuck itself to the dirt smudged between your breasts. He moved his right hand from your waist. Your shirt.. Peter couldn’t help but stare at the stain.

You couldn’t care less about it. What? You want it off? You joked, watching the immediate shift in his expression, and feeling the laughter he admitted through the tips of your fingers on his torso. Peter pulled you back into a kiss and you knew right then and there that things would be different.

Never in your life did you think you’d get so lucky as to meet Peter Parker, but now that you had him, you knew you’d never let him go.

[nomoreusername]

How Maze Runner Character Would Help If They Found Out You're Bipolar

(I am not trying to stereotype bipolar at all. I have it so when I use terms like mania and episodes I am basing it off of what I know. I know it's a spectrum and different for everyone, but I'm still trying to generalize it as best as I can without being disrespectful)

Doesn't know a lot about it at first so he's a little lost

Secretly looks up stuff about it so he knows and can help better

Catches on to the signs and what helps you very quickly

Never tells anybody and reminds you that you don't owe anyone an explanation for something you can't even control

Will sit in comfortable silence and hold your hand when he can tell things are getting rough

Will journal with you so that you feel connected with him but not pressured to talk

Suggests speaking to him through writing when you physically can't talk

Is very patient when you do

Would drop everything the second you needed him

Basically, he doesn't care whether you need silence or a thousand words as long as you're safe and comfortable

Notices the red flags due to his past experience

Very gently coaxes what's wrong out of you

Opens up back so you know you aren't alone in your mental health

Makes you a list of reasons to live and gives it to you for the next time your low comes

Would have an alarm for when you need to take your medication

Would drive you to and from any psychiatrist and therapists appointment

Doesn't mind when he needs to remind you to eat, sleep, or so basic things when you're going manic

Lets you know when he's worried about you without talking down to or babying you

Would help you schedule a doctor's appointment when your crash or mania is worse than usual or goes on for too long

Would be on the lookout for side effects from any new medications or treatments so he can let you know to bring them up at your appointment

All in all, your most caring and loving supporter

Can tell when you're upset about having it and will try to make jokes to cheer you up

If it doesn't work he'll sit with you in silence and hold you

Would never, ever, ever let anyone talk bad about the mental illness, even if you aren't there

Would sometimes give you too tough love (telling you that you're crashing or having an episode when you're in denial)

When he can tell that it hurt your feelings and just made you defensive he would stop and give you a minute to cool down

After that he would calmly explain why he believes that and would help with whatever you needed if he was right or if something else was going on

Could sometimes be too much when getting you out of the house and doing stuff that's good for you when you're crashing but would realize before it does any harm

Would apologize about it and spend the day laying with and comforting you

To sum it up, his love and concern can be pushy but he will always be there for whatever you need

Would have a little bit of trouble understanding at first

When you had an episode for the first time he made an internal comparison to him lashing out when angry to help with that

Would be good at knowing when you can be calmed down, when you need to be with someone, and when you need to be alone

Would be your first and most intense defender if someone starts stereotyping, being rude, or assuming things about you because of it

Sometimes he would have to catch himself when he's about to lose patience when you're having mania but gets better at it

Knows when it's better for both of you and still safe for you to separate for a little bit (around an hour or two) before helping you work through whatever it was

Would be extremely proud of you when it's very under control and would let you know but also assure you he's aware it's a cycle

Overall, the longer he's with you the better he gets at supporting you

Would sometimes struggle with not taking what you say during episodes to heart but would still understand that you didn't mean and were working on it

Would stay awake and try to soothe you to sleep when your mania causes you to stay up

If you're up for really late he would drive you around and either let you have silence until you fall asleep or talk with you to keep your mind off of it

Would be good at remembering triggers to episodes and help you avoid them

Better at helping you with crashes than mania but isn't in any way bad at either of them

Sometimes would pull away from everyone when he could tell you just needed someone to help you

Sometimes would take your mind off of it and others he would let you talk about it or would hold you when you cried

Generally, very patient and loving while giving you any reassurance you need

Has a basic understanding at first

Researches things about it and keeps what she finds in a journal

Learns and memorizes all the terms and symptoms

Keeps track of patterns she sees with mania and crashes

Has comfort food, movies, and things you'll need near her when she can tell you're going to have an episode

Will watch whatever you want with you while cuddling you until you fall asleep

Gets worried when it happens but doesn't let that blind how you're actually doing

Will eat with with you to make sure you actually are

Tells you she loves you as much as she can so you know you'll never be alone through it

To cut it short, she'll learn everything she can so that she can be everything you need

Listens to what you tell her about it and remembers every last bit of information

Would ask how it went after every psychiatrist/therapists appointment but not pry for details

Knows that even though you need a little extra help from medication or people, you're capable of looking out for yourself

Will bring you your favorite fast food every time she finds out you're not eating because of it

Sits at the table and stares at you while eating her own meal until you finish

Gets you some kind of dessert if you want it when you eat what you can

Will lay on top of you so you can't get up and walk around at night when you aren't sleeping

Sometimes tricks you into thinking her telling you to look out for yourself was actually your idea so you listen

To sum it up, she'll let you be a person while also doing what she has to to make sure you're treating yourself right

Realizes something's wrong during a crash because it reminds her of when Newt was depressed

Tells you she's worried and gets you to open up

Feels a little bad when you do since she didn't expect that answer

When she gets over it she asks if you want to tell her more about it

Listens to every single word

Tells you she loves you and how important you are what when you're finished

Generally better at helping with mania since depression brings back some memories

Will stay up late and read to you when you're manic until you go to sleep

Tells you when you're making a rash decision and suggests you sit down with her and really think it though

Will start adding a "make sure to take your medicine," into her goodmorning/goodnight texts

Notices every change in your behavior and will reassure you she'll be there if you have an episode

Essentially, she makes sure you're being logical when manic and safe when crashing

Asks what she can do to support you when you actually tell her

Makes sure to always know your answer

Would pick up your medicine for you when she sees you're running low

Reminds you when you have to make another psychiatrist or therapist appointment

Has the appointments on her own schedule so she can be ready to drive you to or from there if it ends up being a rough session

Takes you to a quiet place outside if it was to get your mind off of it

Will drive you to her place after that so you still aren't alone

Talks about things that aren't actually important but make you happy until you fall asleep in her arms

Will ask if you want to talk about it in the morning after making breakfast

Respects whatever answer you give her

Overall, she'll make sure you speak for yourself while supporting you when you can't find your voice

[danosrosegarden]

I am patiently. Waiting for Vulnerable Sub Wesker

(Words I Never Thought I'd Say)

angst/suggestive drabble underneath the cut! ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

{gn!reader, ~500 words}

{this is my first time writing for wesker, so if this is very much a "he would not fucking say that" situation, please just avert your eyes and ignore me. i come in peace, fear, and admiration for all RE writers. <3}

there's no comfort in vulnerability. there's no crackling campfire warmth to be felt from slicing yourself open and letting all your grotesque guts spill forward. you crush anything that doesn't serve you well and you push its corpse all the way down in the ground. nobody sees you when you're not efficient because nobody has the fucking right. at least that's how wesker saw it. so why it felt like something missing was finally locking into place whenever he was beneath you, he really had no idea.

that bothers him. the not knowing. the not being able to explain. it burrows underneath his skin and he can feel its maggoty writhing. you and this entrancing power you hold over his head feel so entirely right, and it all disarms him fiercely.

it would be simple to abandon. he could convince himself quite easily to saw at the strings of whatever this relationship was and cut you loose. but then, he knew it would eat at him. it would gnaw at the wrinkles of his brain and chomp on the marrow of his bones...where were you? what were you doing? were you safe? were you...accompanying someone else? god, why did he care at all?

intrigue. that's what he first chalked this all up to be. simple intrigue. you weren't fearful, you didn't bow down. that sparked a gleaming flame of curiosity within him. but he felt the seed growing roots. this was something more.

maybe whatever this was didn't need explanation. it was foolish to let his guard down this low. he knew. but there was simply no ignoring how gentle you were with him. your fingers brushed against his skin with a soft intimacy the likes of which he'd never knew he desired. that's the unfair advantage--care and compassion and warmth and love were probably concepts you'd been bottle-fed and raised upon. and he wasn't aware how desperately he needed your tender touch until he'd felt it.

it was almost mechanical, the way everything within him relaxed and glazed over when your fingers were in his hair or your body was wrapped up and tangled with his. there was no way to bring himself to care about the work--meticulous plans, cold calculations--none of it mattered in those moments. that's why you were a screaming neon warning sign. the skull and crossbones label on a sour smelling bottle of chemicals. you were dangerous.

you're confused. you feel the stitches of your heart start to snap and unravel whenever he does this. he becomes warm, gooey putty in your hands, offering the quietest sighs and holding you with the most gentle but protective grip, and then he shoos you away to an arm's length when it's over. you can't help but wonder if this was all a knotted ball of messy blunders. a series of unfortunate events. you wondered if you'd look back at this man and the memories like they were bad movies. the corners of the film would be curled with age, blackened by the nights you wished you'd never indulged in.

there was no way to break even for either of you. the truth was that you'd already melted and mended together in a strange, strange way.

[outlanderskin]

The Thing About Rationality and Logic

Someone who was stopping shipping once told me that she was doing it because she was a very realistic and rational person and her life was based on logic. So I asked her if by that she meant that people like me live in fantasy or are irrational. So, I patiently explained that what made me a shipper was exactly logic, more than imagination or fantasy. Because the logical explanation for many events in S&C's trajectory would be that they are together, but they don't want the outside world to know that they are.

I'll cite some examples: when you have a best friend and someone in that person's family dies, what logically do you do? You see, we're talking about best friends, very close people who publicly say how much they value each other and are close. The logical thing would be for you to show solidarity, post condolences and behave publicly in a discreet manner, in solidarity with the loss of that person you love so much, especially because you (by logic) probably have known the deceased relative. The logic would be stay by your best friend's side, support the family. But what we saw in that sad august days, (showed ostensibly for us to believe) was something that no logical answer about "best friends/siblings" could explain. The only way to explain the narrative created in those days would be that they are two people with a cordial, but superficial, relationship and I believe that from what has been stated by the two all these years, not even the Antis deep down believe that they are not close. . Again I ask: what is the need to hide that you were supporting your best friend in an extremely painful moment in anyone's life? Many people (famous or not) do this publicly, because after all it is not a crime, it is the expected logical behavior. So... Why hide it? We know what really happened because this a logical thing, but the others believe firmly he was not there for her.

Let's move on to another point: the man of the year award (or something like that); How can you logically explain that you chose your mother, your best friend and your co-worker to thank, as the most important women in your life? You who apparently had many "girlfriends", who still gets along well with your discreet ex-girlfriend who lives on another continent, who has others close female friends, but didn't mention any of them along with your co-worker. I've seen several men receiving tributes and the Acknowledgments always include the mother, another older woman of reference and the wives, girlfriends, fiancées. The only time I saw a co-worker mentioned (and that was after his mother, grandmother and wife), was when the achievement was due to his work at the company, so it was logical to mention the department secretary. What would then be the logical explanation for that speech?

Something that also defies logic: if I have a best friend and that person is in a relationship, I will obviously include that person's boyfriend/girlfriend on my list of people with whom I am always cordial. I'm not going to publicly act like the person doesn't exist in my best friend's life. We have a wonderful example of how CD & LL treat each other's boyfriends/girlfriends and they don't hide it. This is how it is when we think logically.

Another little point where logic calls us: your male best friend might talk about a female artist with admiration...you don't need to tell him "behave", after all he's not your husband. The most you can do in the case of friendship is admire her or say you don't like her, never act like you're jealous.

Maybe it's just me, but I never went on my best friend's social media to complain because everyone in the photo was wearing a suit and he wasn't. I also never apologized or justified why he didn't wear a tie. I do this normally with my husband. Because it's logical for wives to do this.

These are just small points, where thinking logically justifies what we believe. So anyone who thinks that we are not rational, live outside of reality or do not have logical reasoning is mistaken, or has not yet stopped to think logically.🙃🙃

[anothermansjeans]

Heyy how abt singer!reader who is like a huge fan of someone and while she has a girls night with Penelope, JJ, & Emily she gets a call from her manager saying said artist wants to do a colab with her and she's like freaking out, like borderline crying her eyes out, hyperventilating and all of it. So they ask Spencer how to fix her or something like that.

<33

-XXX-

~W~

I LOVE THIS SM !! i made it a writing collab and i had to include mr harry styles (sorry not sorry???)

cw: alcohol mention (they're at the bar), panic attack ish?? reader gets overwhelmed with excitement and starts hyperventilating, spencer is a gift from god

wc: 632

singer!reader masterlist

++

“Are you having a good time?”

Penelope's question made you tilt your head as Emily and JJ came back from grabbing the drinks. “Yeah, of course!” Grabbing your vodka cran, you took a sip before continuing, “I don't go out a lot, but when I do, it’s normally because I was invited and the place is filled with paps. Shitty drinks too.” The girls laughed and you felt your phone buzz for what was probably the fifth time within fifteen minutes. Taking it out of your pocket, you furrowed your eyebrows at your manager's name. “Do you guys mind if I take this?”

They gave a nod and you quickly answered, all three women minded their business as you were too paranoid to walk away from the group. “Hey, Angie! What’s up?” Your body straightened up at the words on the other end of the phone. “Oh my– no fucking way. What the fuck, Ange?”

The agents began to tune in at the tone of your voice.

“Yeah– yeah, I’m uh, I’m fine, or whatever. Yeah. Uh huh. I’m with friends, yeah.” Another murmur was heard on the other end. “Yeah, thanks so much. Love you.”

When you hung up, your eyes began to well with tears and your breathing was uneven. They immediately shifted into action and Emily was by your side in an instant. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“Uh– yeah– I just–” your hyperventilating was starting to get worse, and JJ and Emily moved to stand you up on your shaky legs.

“Pen, we don't know what to do.”

“Get her some air! I’m calling Spencer, right now.”

And they did just that. Spencer picked up right away and once he heard Penelope’s panicked voice explain what was happening (or lack of explanation, to be honest), he got to the bar as soon as humanly possible. You were crouched down, trying to catch your breath as Spencer pulled up, and he ran towards your body, pulling you up by your shoulders and giving you a tight hug.

“Shh, you're okay, you're okay. I need you to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.” Your body was following his orders and once you were able to calm down a bit, your arms shifted to wrap around his waist. “What happened?” His voice was soft, and after a moment you pulled away, looking at the three women you most definitely embarrassed yourself in front of.

“He uh, He wants to write a song with me.” Everyone patiently waited for you to elaborate, and once you caught on, you let out a sigh. “Harry Styles wants to write a song with me.”

“Holy shit!” Penelope smacked her hand on her mouth from the outburst, “I am so sorry!”

You let out a breathy laugh while shaking your head. “This is insane to me.”

“I’m really happy for you. Proud too.” He brought you in for another hug, now whispering in your ear. “Do you want me to bring you home?”

You shook your head almost immediately, and moved your body back so you could look at him. “No, no.” You shifted your eyes to the three women who were trying very hard now to coo at the two of you. “I want to have fun with them. Maybe celebrate now that we’re out. Do you want to join?”

He placed a kiss on your forehead before releasing you with a smile. “No, that's okay. You continue to have girl’s night. We can celebrate privately when you come home.”

You lifted your eyebrows suggestively with a smirk, “okay then. I can't wait for that Dr. Reid.” You laughed and walked back to the girl, bidding your boyfriend a farewell. No matter what, this was definitely a night you would remember.

++

singer!reader taglist: @itsleilabxtch @wietske27 @taylorswiftilovecowboylikeme @marshatesthisreality @ladylincoln @delightfulmakerpiegiant @chericherrypie @punksnotdeadbutiam @stillhere197 @laddywitch

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!!

[strab3rr]

ive been thinking abt a week? to delete my account or my story but u know what idgaf anymore because its just gonna give those people more courage for accusing me of being a liar

oh u dont know what im talking bout rn how cute

I was in the hospital til 2 days ago. as a patient. and i believe this happened bc of some jealousy bitches (or im just bein a drama queen)

ik it sounds like im blaming someone but irl yes i do blame someone

in dog years i blame those bitches

last week? i dont even remember what the day

mom got sick again but its okay shes fine now and then i had a car crash🪩🤩🪩my phone died in the crash literally died i had to buy a new one do you guys have any idea abt how much are this things in my country i really dont care abt the money but be for real wtf actually

i answered all of your questions carefully and with kindness i tried to be there for you guys and the moment i tell you abt my success story i had an accident! um sir wtf am i really being dramatic rn? cause ive been thinking bout this for days and theres no other explanation even if there is i cant see

so here it goes,,, i was just chilling in my home and then i read a dm about a girl that she wants to get in her void and as always i explained how she can get in but she kept ask me about how to get in but like girl hellooo i literally told you how. r u kidding me is this a social experiment to evaluate my patience? and then i said to her that this is the only thing that she should do for getting into

she said, no you are lying it cant be like this! bla bla

i transformed to this cat at that moment this is real me now.

anyway at the end of that conversation she said that im lying, if any of these(my manifestation results) are true then i should show her bc she have "doubts🎀" aww for her doubts i should reveal my self in her home bc she have doubts🎀 i should transport there with my void and show her how to do it irl thats what she asked me no- thats what she commanded me to, she was like "do it" and i was like "what😃" i said no ofc what do u want me to say, ok lets do itt lets break my privacy togetherrr let me get in your void for you and again let me do make your dreams comes true yayyy itll be fun right😍😍😍

i dont even know what to say to that

maybe this?

u think im joking which ur right bc i am

but its kinda serious here buddy what should i say to you when u command me to get in your void for you, like how can i reject you and still be that kind sister for u?

anyway i said no to her and she said im a lair and i broke her heart with my selfishness(then i blocked her ofc)then i go out w my friends this is the part i got hit by a car😇

opened my eyes into the white light like im a mf drama movie character

while im in the hospital i thought i can delete my account and can get rid of this bad luck/shits once and for all but again its just gonna give those bitches courage and they think that they right

"loa is a cult and everyone is a liar bc they cant prove bla bla" dont u dare to blame me for your failure

you didn't got in AND you want me to do it for you???honey im sorry for your loss bc it seems like you just lost your dignity yeah we just buried it u missed such a precious moment🥲

and guess what i have nothing to prove you i literally dont have to prove anything to you. like for real. if you dont believe the story can u just move on please? bc i dont give a damn shit about your insecurities, your doubts and ur blablabla

its literally on you girl BC IT SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR MF REALITY? LIKE DO YOU REALLY NEED A MANUAL BOOK FOR THIS?

im sorry for being a bitter today but i really feel like this(bitter), so not sorry maybe😗

but i didn't mean it when i said idgaf to ur insecurities.. i do honey its just been a rough week and i dont know how to put my anger in to the words

it can be a evil eye 🧿 or i just might be a drama queen sooo.. again sorry(?) if anything offends u, i love you guys but its just so complicated here(my head) and i just dont know

and now im just being weird w all this nonsense

i should go now, i will return your dms asap just need some rest

loves, siena

[unreliablesnake]

Hold on tight (Vincent de Gramont x reader)

Summary: You keep your end of the deal and return to Paris to visit Vincent.

Note: I'm not happy with this. / previously on... / The title comes from this song. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

Warnings: smut(ish)

“It's been more than half a year,” Winston noted one night when you couldn't sleep and decided to join him in the bar. “The Marquis is already looking for you.”

“I know.”

He was right. Rumor had been flying around that he was paying some people to come to the Continental just to check on you in these past months. And all along, Winston did his best to shield you, keep you away from having to face the possibility of meeting him again. But lately things had gotten worse, you knew it.

“You know,” you began once you took a sip of your drink, “I thought time and distance would help me. That I would feel better. That I wouldn't feel the need to be near him. But it's not working, I still want him,” you explained sadly.

“Then go and meet him,” he offered the solution as if it was that easy.

Because it wasn't easy. You were fighting your emotions so hard for a long time, but that emptiness from being away from him just kept crawling back. “And if he somehow convinces me to stay with him?” you asked since it was a possibility. You might get weak and stay if he asked.

“Is that what you're afraid of?” Nodding, you leaned back in the chair and crossed your legs. “He's a bad man. We're not saints either, but at least we follow the rules.”

“How is this supposed to help me? I already knew he's a jerk.”

Winston let out a heartfelt laugh. “What if he can change for the better because of you? What if he would change if that was the price of being with you?”

“I'm not so sure about that.”

“I am,” came his reply that took you off guard. You gave him a questioning look then waited for the explanation. “He's been sending you handwritten letters, and tries to call you almost daily… This man is in love, sweetheart. Who knows how far he would be willing to go to get you.”

You shrugged. “Maybe he will kidnap me again.”

“That didn't work out the first time,” Winston pointed out.

“True.”

“Also, he's not known for his patience, yet he's been waiting long months for you to keep your end of the deal.”

He was right again. Vincent was surprisingly patient with you, he didn't start harassing you through his men, instead he kept his distance and kept an eye on you without saying a word. And while you didn't even want to think about it, Winston pointed out this difference.

The man who was so used to getting whatever he wanted and whenever he wanted it was waiting patiently for a woman. He could have gone out to pick up someone else, but no, according to rumors he was waiting for you. It was hard to decide whether it was flattering or terrifying.

Your boss let out a sigh as he glanced down at the notebook on the table in front of him. “You should go to Paris. However long it takes,” he added before you could say you didn't want to be away from this place in case he needed your help.

He didn't even have to look up to know you were about to object. But you kept your mouth shut, and so you ended up buying a ticket and packing your suitcase in the following hours. “I'm an idiot for doing this,” you told yourself as you collected some items from the bathroom.

Thirteen hours later you once again landed in Paris, although this time you were on your own. Or so you thought. At the airport you were greeted by a man Vincent sent there to pick you up and take you to him. You followed him without asking questions, knowing full well it would be futile to resist and insist on traveling on your own to the hotel where you reserved a room for yourself.

Unlike the last time, the mansion didn't look cold and threatening. No, it was warm and welcoming, a place where you could feel safe right away. Safe. With him. You didn't think these two things would ever be connected by the same sentence. While you'd been here the last time, you were always on the edge, feeling like you didn't belong.

But now? Now you had a feeling you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

A staff member came to help you with your luggage, assuring you that they would take it straight to your room, while a woman came to accompany you to the room Vincent was in at the moment. Your eyes scanned the paintings on the walls as you passed by, the familiar sight making you feel at home.

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” you suddenly heard the familiar voice say. You looked up and noticed him standing in the hallway, hands folded behind his back as he watched you. He sounded unsure, a quite shocking experience compared to the authoritative Vincent you had met the last time.

You waited until the woman was told to leave and the two of you were left alone before you said anything. “Me too,” you replied quietly. “But someone convinced me to come here and keep my end of the deal.”

Vincent’s jaw tightened and you wondered what made him do it. Was it because you said you were only here because of that deal? It could be the reason.

“I’m glad I’m here,” you added, surprising yourself with this sentence.

Because if you wanted to be honest, you were glad to be in Paris again. To be with him. All those months of thinking about him while your brain tried to warn you forget him had its toll on you. You were tired and doubted your feelings all the time. But now that you were here with him, you began to see clearly.

This man had managed to get under your skin despite being a kidnapper, planting the seeds in your brain that then turned you into this mess eventually. But it worked. You were here, you were yearning for his touch, and you had to fight your instincts to keep your distance for now.

Let's see what he does. You shouldn't throw yourself at him as if he had done nothing wrong. Having a spine is a good thing.

“I got your room ready,” he spoke up again, sounding surprisingly awkward. “I thought you might want to get some rest first. I have a dinner reservation, but if you'd rather stay here, I can have something made for us.”

“We can go out, I guess,” you replied as you nervously swept a strand of hair behind your ear.

Vincent nodded. For a few moments you both stood there in silence, but then he cleared his throat, excused himself, and went back into the room he had previously emerged from. After letting out a long sigh of relief, you headed towards your room, ready to get some well-deserved sleep.

A few hours later you put on a nice dress and did your makeup properly, ready to head out with him for the evening. Because you were sure it wasn't just a dinner he was planning for the two of you. A play? An opera? Maybe a museum? Whatever it would be, you wouldn't object.

As it turned out, you knew him perfectly well, because you were right about his plans. He was hesitant the whole time, as if he wasn't sure how to approach you anymore, but he managed to stay in charge, and that was a good thing.

Because you were too focused on your own needs, on his beautiful green eyes, on his lips, and on his suit. It was just too much to handle, and when you were in the back of the car on the way back to his home, you slowly reached out to take his hand.

He looked surprised, but he wrapped his fingers around your hand, then raised it to his lips to place a soft kiss on it. “I really missed you, my love,” he said.

“Don't think that kidnapping me all those months ago is completely forgiven. But in all honesty, I missed you too. I really did,” you added with a smile before resting your head on his shoulder.

In the next two days, Vincent made sure you felt comfortable in his company. He was nice, and sweet, and things eventually got as intimate as they used to be. You found yourself in his bedroom after a wonderful afternoon in the Louvre, your body pressed to the wall as his lips traced your skin.

He explored your body like this was the first time he had seen it without clothes, and he kept you from moving around, pinning you down to make sure you didn't start removing his clothes. No, he wanted to take his time with you, driving you crazy by not giving you exactly what you wanted.

But a sick part of you loved every second of it, it craved the physical pain not being able to touch him caused. Because you wanted to lay your hands on his body, feeling the smooth skin under your fingertips before moving down to tease his cock.

Vincent could tell you were silently suffering by now, so he kept praising you, even as he got on top of you in bed and leaned down to kiss your collarbone before slowly moving up to your neck. This is when you began to beg him to fuck you, to skip this stupid teasing and finally give you what you needed so badly.

“Would it be weird if I told you I loved you?” you asked him while you were lying in bed together, both of you on the brink of falling asleep.

He let out a quiet, uncharacteristic laugh, then kissed your forehead. “I feel the same way, mon amour,” he told you. “What do you think about staying here for a while? For a few months, maybe.”

You let out a sigh as you thought about his suggestion. Winston had told you to stay as long as you had to, but did you really want to leave him alone for that long? “That's a lot of time, Vincent, I'm not sure. I have responsibilities back home,” you said, more to convince yourself than him.

“Don't you want to be with me?”

“Why don't you come to New York for a week or two? I could show you around,” you offered with a laugh.

He watched you silently for a while, carefully thinking about this idea. Sure, after what had happened the last time he was there, it was understandable if he was a little hesitant.

Maybe it wouldn't be weird to stay in France after all. After leaning over to give him a soft kiss, you rested your forehead against his. “Okay, fine, I'll stay here.”

Little did you know at the time that you wouldn't stay for just a couple of months. You stayed here for good, eventually marrying the man who had almost destroyed your life at one point.

[otakusheep15]

OMG FRUITS BASJET?!

Could you do a kyo x male reader?

I have had the fattest crush on him since elementary school LMAO

Anyways could it be like reader never knew kyo could turn into a cat, so when he sees kyo turn into a cat and just instantly feels his heartstrings tug. He starts cuddling with kyo's cat from till he turns back into his human form, but reader didn't know he becomes naked when he turns back so he starts freaking out about it lol.

I'm sorry if I butcher this shit up and if my English is bad and you don't understand my point. English is my first language but I get very nervous with sending in request so I feel like I butcher shit up lol.

Hi! I am so sorry for how long it took me to answer this!! I'll make it extra long just to make up for it. Thanks for being patient! ^^

Kyo Sohma x Male Reader

Okay, so, I actually love the thought of queer relationships between the zodiac. It's always been very cute to me, plus it would save them from turning into an animal when they want affection.

Also, for these headcanons, let's just say that trans men/transmascs don't have any effect so that it stays inclusive! (I know Fruits Basket isn't the most trans-inclusive, but we're ignoring that)

Anyway, this would most likely take place before you two start dating. I doubt he'd be the type to commit to a relationship before revealing this part of himself. He's not good at this sort of thing.

So, right now, y'all are just friends. Most likely, you met at school. You're in the same class, or you met through one of his cousins/Tohru.

At first, he avoided you. It had nothing to do with you in particular - he just hates being social. Eventually, you do manage to interact with him, and he decides you're chill enough to be around. So you two become friends.

One day, you, Kyo, Tohru, and Yuki are hanging out outside of school. This is the first time you've hung out with them outside of school, so this is new territory for you. Specifically, the four of you went to the library to study for an upcoming test.

You sat in a back corner, away from everyone else. Tohru had gotten up to go grab a book, but she tripped over the leg of the chair. Kyo was sitting next to her, and he's the one she falls into. Suddenly, there's a puff of smoke, and when it clears, you see Tohru holding an orange cat, and Kyo is nowhere to be seen.

Tohru and Yuki look panicked, and you're confused. The two of them scramble to come up with some kind of explanation, but all you can think about is how adorable the cat is. You assume it's Kyo, although you couldn't explain what happened.

Tohru had put Kyo down by this point, and he walks across the table to get to you. His eyes have the same deadpan look they usually do, which is funnier in his cat form. Sensing no hostility from you, Yuki and Tohru are able to calm down a little bit, and Yuki is able to get a proper explanation out. You process only some of his words, too focused on how cute Kyo looks.

Without much thought, you scoop him up in your arms, gently holding him close. Kyo makes a startled noise, but doesn't struggle too much. Yuki looks amused as he ushers Tohru away, intent on giving you two some alone time.

Kyo asks you what you think you're doing, and you're shocked he can still speak in this form. You shyly explain that you just thought he looked cute, and your body kind of just moved on its own. You go to put him down, but he doesn't budge from your arms. It's barely audible, but you swear you heard him say something about him enjoying the embrace. You chuckle at that as you hold him tighter. If you listen closely, you can almost hear him purring softly.

Then, another puff of smoke appears. When it dissipates, you see Kyo standing in front of you, back to his regular human form. Except for the fact that he's completely naked. You turn away, flustered that you saw him in such a state. Kyo also turns around, tripping over himself as he looks for his clothes. Neither of you speak a word, and it's around this time that Yuki and Tohru make their return.

Yuki still looks amused by the situation, choosing to tease Kyo. Tohru is immediately flustered, still not used to seeing the boys after they transform back. As the boys continue fighting, Tohru comes up to you, asking if you're okay. She knows from personal experience that this kind of situation can be startling, so she wants to make sure that you're feeling alright. When you respond in the affirmative, she smiles.

Kyo and Yuki stop bickering, and Kyo is fully dressed once again. He can't quite make eye contact with you, but he does apologize for what happened, if in his own tsundere way. You laugh a bit, explaining that you're fine, just a bit shocked at what just happened. The three nod, as they can all understand how you feel.

By this point, none of you are in the mood for studying anymore, so you decide to pack up for the night. As you walk out of the library, you turn away from them, as your home is in the opposite direction of where they live. However, you feel something grab your hand, and when you turn to look, you see Kyo. He's still not making eye contact, and his face is a little red, but his grip on your hand is strong.

Quietly, he asks if he can walk you home. You're shocked, and you can hear Tohru cheering in the background as Yuki tries to silence her. After a moment to recover from the shock, you smile and him and squeeze his hand, accepting his offer. He makes eye contact with you for the first time since the incident, and you can see a small smile appear on his face. He tells the others that he'll meet them at home, and you're on the way to your house.

As you walk, Kyo explains everything in as much detail as he can. He leaves out all of his family drama, as that's a story for another day, but he does bring up his curse and how it works. You jokingly remark that he wouldn't transform with you, since you're both boys, and he laughs a bit at that. He gestures to your hands, still interlocked, and states that even holding hands with a girl would cause him to transform. That makes you laugh as well.

Soon you're back home, and he drops you off at your door. He squeezes your hand one last time before letting it go, and he asks if you'd like to hang out again, to which your agree. You do make one more sly comment about wanting to see him as a cat again, telling him that he looked oh so adorable. He groans, but it's all in good humor. He leaves, already thinking of plans for next time.

The two of you don't start dating right away. It takes more time, but this is the first major step. Also, he's willing to be more affectionate with you because he knows he won't transform. It's nothing more than hand-holding on leaning against you for right now, but when you do start dating, he gets very clingy, especially in public.

You don't get to see him transform that often since you don't cause any of his transformations, but when you do get to see it, it's always a treat. He gets so flustered when he transforms, and it worsens when he transforms back to human. You've gotten used to the nakedness after the first few times, but he never quite does, especially when you're around. It's cute.

[dreamlifebunny]

my favourite blogs!

hello friends! i wanted to make a little post about the people who have inspired my journey in conscious creation and spirituality this past year. there have been so many wonderful people who have assisted me in my journey, but i am keeping this list small to encourage mindful consumption and to highlight the reasons why i love these blogs. i hope you give these folks a follow and are inspired by their creativity, kindness, and wisdom like i have been inspired!

@eamour

ella's blog is like a law of assumption dreamland. if you are wanting an abundance of incredibly insightful, creative, and informative posts on law of assumption, there is no other blog you need to turn to than hers. not only does she write her posts in the most incredibly aesthetically-pleasing, easy to understand, and well-organized way, but she is also just the sweetest person on planet earth! please consider following her blog if you want amazing information and insights as well as wonderful kindness along your journey!

@charmedreincarnation

maya is legit the reason i started my own manifestation blog! not only are her resources for manifesting, shifting, and lucid dreaming incredible, but she has made a point of exploring and sharing spirituality in her own way that resonates with her, which i think is an essential part of conscious creation and being the god of your own reality. she's also hilarious and her replies to rude anons have absolutely sent me over the past year lol. please consider following her blog if you are feeling stuck in your journey, her posts will re-spark the inspiration and excitement that you had when you first learned about the law and realized how limitless you were!

@iamthat-iam

bry's blog is my absolute favourite non-dualism blog, and i highly recommend her to anyone who is looking for brilliant and creative explanations of the concept! she has been the most patient and caring person in my personal ND journey, and the stories she has shared about abandoning societal-conditioning to live a truly limitless life are so inspiring. she is the master at using metaphors to break down egoic confusion and frustration and provides us with so many wonderful ways of explaining non-dualism. please go give her a follow if you're interesting in learning about ND, she is THE blog for it! (please remember that her blog is a ND blog, and that law of assumption and non-dualism are two different concepts despite the similar teachings - please do not bombard her with "how to manifest" questions because that is not the place to do that!)

@alilarew23

ali's blog is one that i have found only recently, but the impact her posts have had on my heart and mind have quickly made her one of my biggest inspirations and comforts in the community. she has tapped into the very heart of the law of assumption with her teachings of unconditional love and belief in oneself, and whenever i am down i can turn to her creative and caring posts to remember my power as a conscious creator. i also really like her use of the word "god" and "prayer" in her posts, as it is very akin to the way neville uses it and reminds me of when i first began reading his work. if you are looking for a blog of pure patience, kindness, and care and someone who gets to the very core of loa teachings, please considering giving ali a follow!

[randomreadingtimewithtsuki]

Fairy Tail request: Mirajane and Lissana teaching their S/O how to cook after seeing them trying to do so.

Hello! Sorry for taking so long once more!

I hope this is of your liking, please let me know what you think!

Tsuki's note: I am not a masterchef alas, i will try to make this convincing.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Mirajane

Mira saw you trying to bake some cake for everyone, but...

Your cake deflated in the oven.

So she took it upon herself to teach you how to cook!

Mira is very gentle when explaining. She tries her best, truly!

But her explanations might come off... a bit weird.

She will teach you from scratch, asking you copy what she does.

She finds it easier when you follow her step by step. Will you have 2 cakes? yes. But thats opposite of an issue.

She starts with the ingredients - they must be room temperature to be easier to mix.

Mira pays extra attention to what you do and she corrects you by first saying is not the right texture. If that still doesnt work, she will grab your hand and mix the batter with you.

She will try to stay with you regardless how many times you fail, don't worry.

She will make a step by step note for you regardless if you did well or not. The only difference will be if you fail too much, her notes will be very detailed and even with a few drawings.

When you get it right she will be so proud!!

She will be the first one to try!

She won't have the heart to tell you if its bad. She will say something along the lines of " we should try again, just to fixate"

But if it turns out great, then she will be all praise!!

In case you spilled some batter on your face, she will clean it for you then kiss the spot.

Lisanna

When she saw you fail at making a soup, she took matters into her hands.

Lisanna is patient with teaching, but not as much as Mira.

She will ask you try to make a soup again so she can see where it went wrong.

Then she will teach you how to do it properly!

If you fail a couple of times Lissana will grow impatient and will suggest a different dish.

She won't discourage you though!! it's just maybe your skill lies elsewhere. a sweet maybe?

If you insist she will try to brainstorm ways to be more simple for you, making notes and so on.

If you get the dish done, she will be super happy and will gladly try it!!

Lisanna is not scared to tell you it tastes bad, but she will beat around the bush a bit - " maybe you should change the spice "

If it is good she will hug you so tight!!

She is so proud of you!!

If you get some food on your face she will clean it for you and giggle - " Y/N, you are so clumsy!"

------------------------------------------------------------

thank you for reading!

[bebsibby]

The Top Surgery Log

Hello! I got top surgery yesterday! I want to catalogue my experience so I can remember it and provide some insight for people who want it but haven't gotten it yet. I will continue to update this post as my healing goes on. Everything under the read more!

Leading Up

My insurance is with Kaiser which has been an AWESOME experience so far. They do require a therapist letter, so no informed consent, but the process was very simple and there were a lot of people dedicated to getting me what I needed.

I had about 3 therapist meetings where she just asked me questions about my experience with gender and how my transition has gone so far, my support network, can I afford it, etc. Then she wrote my letter, sent it off to the surgical team, and I was approved within a few days!

After that I had my very first consult with the surgeon. He took pictures, did a breast exam, asked about general health and family health history, then gave me a little presentation of the process. It had post up photos of prior patients, a lot of explanations of the types of surgeries available that he does, and a lot of good information in general. He answered a lot of my questions and made me feel fully confident and prepared for the experience.

Also important to note: I told him the surgery I had been wanting ever since I started doing top surgery research was Inverted-T and I was curious of he knew of it/why that WASN'T an option they offered. He explained everything to me and showed me what he expected my results to look like if I DID want to go to a different surgeon outside of Kaiser. Said surgeon does NOT accept insurance, but would work with the insurance side of things to make sure they would reimburse for the expenses. I really appreciate that because it showed me they wanted to do get exactly what I wanted.

Based on all of that, I decided to just opt for Double Incision both to save me time and get a result that was aesthetically more pleasing to me. Loss of nipple sensation is unfortunate, but apparently IT only has the potential to bring a little sensation back, which wasn't worth all the extra hoop jumping for me.

After this consult, my surgeon told me to think about everything then email him a few days later with my decision. I did and then a few days later got my call to schedule. I got to pick my date but not the time of day, as I would later learn that's decided by the hospital and not me. Once my surgery was scheduled, another pre-op appointment was scheduled about a month before the surgery date. That appointment was very short, as it was just signing consent forms and confirming everything I wanted. He also gave me a packet of supplies I needed to get before the surgery.

After that, I'd occasionally receive emails with more pre-op instructions, like when to stop eating and drinking, showering instructions, when to stop certain medication, and how to care for my drains.

The Surgery

The day before surgery I had initially planned to do all of the last minute housework and leave for the surgery the next morning. HOWEVER, when I got my call to tell me the time, it turns I had to be there by 6 AM! The surgery center is over an hour away from me and the bus my wife and I were going to take didn't run that early, so we had to scramble to make other plans. Luckily the friend who was going to drive us back home was cool with us crashing on his floor for the night, so we were able to do the most important things at home then take the bus down the day before.

Once we were all set up for the night, I did the first cleaning routine that I was required to do, set my alarm, then tried to sleep. I didn't get much due to Hard Floor and also excited but that wasn't a biggie because I'd be sleeping again soon LOL.

Next morning I woke up, did my second skin cleansing, and we headed out! I checked in, waited a little in the waiting room, then got called back to start.

Everyone who was working with me was SUPER funny and kind. I got asked more questions, signed another form, took some pre-med tylenol, them stripped to switch into my gown, bonnet, and grippy socks (Got to keep those btw :>) My IV got put in my wrist which REALLY fucking hurt!!!!!! It never stopped aching. After that, the surgeon popped in to check on me and see if I had any questions, then they wheeled me in to the operating room.

I had gotten another premed via IV that was already making me tired, and I remember the last thing being the surgeon saying what to do with my removed tissue once he was done and I was gone!

The surgery itself lasted around four hours, but all I remember is waking up and seeing my wife and friend sitting at the foot of the bed. I said hi to them and that was apparently third time I had said it. I had been up and talking to them for awhile all loopy but also becoming suddenly very serious when talking with the nurses. I've had a few surgeries but I've NEVER been this way after so that was funny. The nurse had also been giving ME all of the postop discharge info and I don't remember it so thats unfortunate! I only remember her talking about the drains. I had to read it all again when I got home but it was all good.

Once I was awake enough, they wheel-chaired me down to my friends car, packed us all up and we headed back home. I napped about half the time but still kept my eyes closed when i was awake and talking bc my vision was still FUCKED and it was so bright out. We got home, I was lead inside, and that was that pretty much! I napped several more times, nibbled on some roast beef, emptied my drains (which made me very woozy, mostly due to the standing) and went to bed!

After Surgery

Day one! I woke up a few times in the night mainly to go to the bathroom, but slept REAL deep otherwise. It rained all night which was awesome. I woke up feeling very achy but not painful except for my throat. Those ET tubes are NOT easy on your body. Took all my meds, got out of bed eventually, and had cup ramen for breakfast. Now I'm just sitting on the couch with all my computer stuff moved from my desk to where I'm sitting. I got a long hdmi cable so I can just watch stuff on the big TV so I'm pretty set up!

My wife just brought me some cookies and overall I'm just feeling really good. Not really excited or emotional about it. Its just a very warm contented feeling.

I don't know what my chest looks like yet since my post-op binder got put on while i was still out, but everything gets removed next week! I'll probably update again after that appointment.

Feel free to ask specific questions! I'll be resting most of the time so I'll just be around!