#how can I see how bad this is but still choose to do it

[foibles-fables]

What do you think of Cait’s character development in general? And what it means for Caitvi? I’ve seen quite a few people angry and displeased with the fact that she “lost her way” and turned into a “cruel dictator” while others argued that she was easily influenced in a moment of weakness and grief. And that CaitVi is now toxic?

I do think Caitlyn's grief influenced her turn during act 1, yes. A conflict that hadn't really touched her personally (as it had for Vi and so many others from the undercity--a privilege, on her part) finally did, and in the fallout she made inarguably Bad choices starting in 2.01 and culminating in 2.03.

But even though they were choices made in grief, she still made them. Grief is an explanation--not an excuse. She was manipulated, but she was still wrong.

Acts 2 and 3 see her clearer head prevailing--when she doubts Ambessa, when she reencounters Vi.

But simply doubting doesn't absolve her, action does. When she tells Jinx "hating you, I've hated myself," she's doing her part of breaking the cycle. When she conveniently allows Vi to break Jinx out of her cell, she's forsaking the "revenge" she clung to during the months between acts 2 and 3, since it's what she has seen is right. The final montage makes it seem like she's given up the Kiramman seat on the council to Zaun. She learned Ambessa's fourth lesson of sacrifice and took to heart both for herself and both cities.

She was grieving, and she was wrong, and she's shown that she is willing to do the work to try and repair what she damaged. I love that growth for a character who, at the beginning, had no history of choosing badly--or really choosing at all. "What are you shooting for?" She needed to find out how to answer that question, and I think now she has.

Re: your last question--again, I'll say, actions speak louder than words. Hurts can be absolved as long as there's willingness to work and to forgive. Both are complicated people and they've both grown, individually and together alike, and the final scene shows their mutual committment to one another.

[nats-firefly]

choices

sorority!wandanat x reader

summary: Natasha never stays the night, what will happen when someone else shows interest - college au

warnings: smut 18+ only you are responsible for your media consumption, drinking, smoking, it gets a little angsty in the middle

a/n: THIS IS A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE FIC endgame will depend on your choices. (repost)

I was inspired to do this by @caws5749​‘s 1k celebration where she also did a choose your own adventure type story (hers was very cool and is linked here)

🚩 warnings are clearly stated please do not report/flag :) 🚩

header made by wickussy (iykyk) | feedback is always welcome | masterlist

Natasha has always been straight forward, especially with you. You knew that from the second she strolled into your apartment. Her confidence radiated off her and you were instantly drawn to her.

You threw the last of your clean laundry into your closet just as there was a knock on your door. Glancing over your perfectly and freshly cleaned apartment, you took a deep breath before reaching for the door handle and pulling the door open. 

The air was almost knocked out of your lungs at the girl standing on the other side of the door. Her green eyes sparkled as she looked at you, her lips made a popping sound as she pulled the red lollipop from her mouth and reached out her hand, smiling widely.

“Hi, I’m Natasha,” Her voice was sweet and welcoming and the giggle that followed when you didn’t move made your head spin.

“Um, h-hi,” You shook her hand, moving out of the way so she could come into your apartment. “I’m Y/N.”

She walked in, looking around the small kitchen and connected living room. She needed to pretend like she was still making up her mind; she loved the pictures on the ad you put out and after taking one look at you she knew she had to have it. She had to have you.

“Why did the last person move out?” She asked walking through the hallway to the vacant bedroom. “Was it something wrong with the place?”

“Not exactly,” You chuckled, scratching the back of your neck and following her down the hallway and leaning against the doorframe. She looked at you questioningly, tilting her head to the side as she sucked on her lollipop, your eyes dropping down to her lips momentarily before looking back up to her eyes. “She was my kinda girlfriend, but we broke up.”

Perfect, Natasha thought. “Bad break up?”

“For her,” You shrugged. You and Val started sleeping together very soon after you moved in, which went on for almost two years. Until she wanted to commit and you didn’t. She couldn’t take it, you were completely fine with the arrangement you had. Natasha raised her eyebrow at your response, before popping her lollipop out of her mouth once again and turning her body to look at the room. “She wanted to commit, I didn’t.”

“That explains the ‘kinda’,” She moved into the bathroom, looking over the sink then the shower. You moved back into the living room, waiting for her to finish looking over the place. She emerged from the hallway not two minutes after, waving the lollipop stick in the air, now empty. You pointed at the trashcan in the corner and she walked over to it so naturally, you’d think she already signed the lease. “When’s the earliest move-in date?”

“Um, next week?” You said.

“Perfect,” She said with a smile. “How do I apply?”

“You don’t have to,” It slipped out before you could hold yourself back. But if a goddess walked into your apartment asking to move in, you’d probably give her the keys on the spot. “If you want, we can go over the lease and you can pay the deposit tomorrow.”

Natasha smirked and made her way over to you, her hand gripping your chin as she looked into your eyes. 

“You’re cute,” She said, before shaking your head briefly and letting go of your chin. She turned her body and found a sticky note and a pen on the counter, quickly scribbling down her number. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Things were so different back then. You couldn’t see yourself wanting to commit to anyone. And then you got tangled in Natasha’s web and everything felt different. You wanted more. More of her laugh, more of her lingering looks, more of her touch, more of her. It never felt like it could be enough. 

But you knew she didn’t want more, she was completely fine with what she had. You were wrapped around her finger, always ready for her whenever she needed, in turn she tried to deny it, but knew she would be whatever you wanted her to be, whenever you wanted her.

And you hated it. You hated how much you wanted her, which is why you increasingly looked for distractions whenever Natasha wouldn’t find herself in your bed, ready for you. Your phone buzzed with your most recent and most exciting distraction: Wanda.

homework sucks :/ come help me out?

something tells me if I do your homework isn’t gonna get done

i wasn’t talking about helping me with homework ;)

[i’ll be there in a second]

OR 

[busy tonight. are you going to delta psi on friday?]

[your-fav-is-fucking-dead]

Have you ever loved a character so much you wanted them dead? Wanted them gone? Whipped away clean? Evaporated into nothingness?

Then this is THE blog for you!

Watch as your little scrunkly blorbo is hit by a massive heavy-duty pick up truck! FOR THE PURPOSE OF YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!

(This blog is HEAVILY inspired by @your-fav-got-an-abortion, go check them out)

ASKS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED!

More info undercut. Read before you submit anything.

HOW THIS WORKS + RULES:

-send in a death request through asks.

-you can specify how the character died, i.e dying from old age, etc. Do not go into excruciatingly gorey detail on how your requested character has died. If the death involves things like stabbing I'll put a tw in tags

-i will put spoiler warnings if needed

-you can resurrect characters who have died. You can choose how they've been brought back to life aswell.

-the same character can be killed multiple times ONLY if they repeatedly get resurrected as well

-don't spam my inbox 😁please

-yes the specifying how the character has died thing means that the character can be murdered by another character (I am excited to see what crossovers unfold)

-sometimes I'll make crappily edited images to go with the asks, if you do or don't want one just tell me. If the image contains stuff like blood I'll put a tw & hide it in undercut

-IRL people aren't allowed, but you, historical figures, Y/N type submissions, and stuff like Mc YouTubers characters are

-suicide isn't allowed.

-celebrities aren't allowed to die or be killed, but they are allowed to kill other characters! ☺️☺️

-don't request other people's ocs to die, your own ocs are fine though

-blacklist

-characters that need to be resurrected

-this blog will post 10 death/ resurrection posts a day (kinda bad at this sometimes I'll post less 😭)

-only tag this blog on other posts if it relates to this blog

-1 mod refer to me as grim reaper, God I'm really letting my inner🖤⛓️emo shine with that one. My main is @misscrows & I mainly rb stuff

-ill try my best to do research on the characters being requested, but if a post still comes out as disrespectful/ breaks a rule tell me

-tags:

#death post

#resurrection post

#not a death/resurrection post

-if you have any suggestions for ideas, rules, better ways to format this post, then put them in the replies.

-have fun, don't be disrespectful, & stay swagalicious my dudes

[cantareincminor]

Fandom Wrapped (Reader Edition) 2024!

Thanks to the wonderful @kattyelf for creating this template! Links and detailed reviews under the cut.

Disclaimer: I probably read hundreds of SxF fics in the past year, and it was not easy to choose which ones to put in the list above (or below)! This fandom is full of wonderful, friendly creators and I am so glad to be part of it. I also had to narrow it down to only the ones I read and reread in 2024, not 2022 or 2023. Finally...I also happened to read many good fics only once. Sometimes a fic is just too painful or sad to reread, especially if it's not finished.

Favorite fic and author: After peace by @unhappy-sometimes!

I could gush about unso for a whole post and not be done, but I will try to contain myself. Her fic After peace originated from an AU comic she drew where Twilight was forced to retire early due a major injury, and drifted aimlessly until WISE asked him to take care of an orphan they had rescued from Project Apple. There are several things that amazed me about this fic and cemented it in first place for 2024:

The premise. It was original and so full of potential.

How personal Twilight's journey felt to me. I didn't have a life-threatening injury, but I did put my career on hiatus in the past year and have often struggled with questions of -- what am I worth when I'm not "doing" anything? I was so used to going 150% in the rat race and coming out on top at great personal cost to health and family; even if all that was bad, how else can I get that sense of accomplishment? How can I stop wanting that sense of accomplishment?

Her style, which is both vivid AND concise. The fic was around 22K words if I remember correctly, with a well-constructed plot, character arcs, plenty of emotional beats, and a satisfying resolution. I often wonder if my writing is too verbose and when I see something like After peace, it challenges me to do better.

THIS WAS UNSO'S FIRST FIC EVER. THE HELL. It's like a freshman album that gets put up for a Grammy.

Fic(s) I reread (plus runners-up):

That Time Yor Seriously Thought About Leaving by peonydee: This is a WIP with one more chapter before completion, I believe. Peonydee's style is unique in how it's hard-hitting and disarming at the same time. Yor and Twilight find themselves in impossible situations, their relationship tested to the limit (and one of them in a close brush with death), yet there's still an undercurrent of wry humor, almost fatalistic due to the fact both of them have been steeped in death and dirty work for decades, yet still hopeful and reaching for each other. I also cackle every time she makes Twilight go off on a mansplaining tangent without ever using the term outright. A masterpiece of show not tell.

Is It Really All Right? by zyzy1083: This one is tender. A jealous!Loid fic with a fascinating portrayal of Loid from Yor's perspective. The imagery of a dark sea choking down any true thought or emotion from breaking for air will stay with me for a long time. There's also the fact she basically made up lyrics for an indie song as part of the plot and I had to ask whether it was a real song. Finally, there's the fact she was bold enough to portray Loid as less than a perfect, kind, smiley husband toward Yor, but in a believable way. He snaps at Yor at times. He loses his patience. It feels like a real relationship, in the awkward tension when one partner wants to talk and the other absolutely does not want to talk. I admire that courage and wish more authors would take that risk (calling myself out I guess!).

Green-eyed Monster by bigbruja: another jealous!Loid fic that's lighthearted and fun. This is a comfort reread. I enjoy seeing Loid recognize the threat of a supposed "old friend" of Yor's, questioning his own feelings and how far he needs to go to fend this guy off. The guy is a Garden assassin, unbeknownst to him. I also love Yor's own inner struggle of just wanting everyone to get along, but showing steel when she needs to.

dalliance by rosetintednerdglasses: this is a WIP, but it is HILARIOUS and I hope everyone will go encourage this author to pick this fic back up when they have a chance. TLDR, Twilight (in disguise) is sent on a joint mission with Thorn Princess and flips out internally when he sees it's Yor. Handler then orders him to ensure Thorn Princess continues to cooperate. So as Twilight, he has to sort-of honey trap Thorn Princess, while as Loid he has to keep Yor happy. Poor Yor believes she's torn between two different men and close to cheating on Loid! Situational hilarity all over the place, and fun world-building, like this other WISE agent randomly named "Steel Bunny" (LOL).

Not According to Plan by @kyrathel: love you girl! This is a gift fic for me, but that's not the reason I reread it (even though it's a WIP as well!). It's SO FUNNY. Twilight gets it in his overly anxious head that he MUST defend his wife from the bullies at City Hall, so what does he do? HE INFILTRATES CITY HALL AS A NEW FEMALE HIRE. The world absolutely needs more petty!Twilight! The latest chapter features laxative brownies. Enough said.

Let's start living dangerously by @beannoss: I specifically reread the later parts when dumb Twilight gets over his dumbness and finally talks to Yor! And they kiss again! I love the way huhwaku (beannoss) portrays overthinking Twilight AND overthinking Yor. And also, the simplicity of Yor at the same time. The voice she uses for both of them is refreshing, it really puts you in the mindset of the character. Yor's giggles ("teehee!") as she teases Twilight about his little perfectionist habits are a cute touch to a gentle, heartwarming fic about these two highly competent professionals just starting to take baby steps in how to be competent at a relationship.

Fic that made me emotional:

100% Perfect by @sometimesiship. Where do I begin? How about with the gut aversion I initially had to the premise of a futuristic AI dating bot AU, due to all the tragic, dark AI movies I have watched? But as it neared completion, someone convinced me to give it a try and I AM SO GLAD I DID. You can see my gushing comments in almost every chapter. The development of the relationship between human Yor and AI Loid is so natural, funny at times, poignant always, and beautifully written, even though from an objective standpoint not much exciting stuff happens (I mean canon-typical excitement like murders and spy missions). Sometimesiship has a way of describing emotion that is so raw -- she can portray the same emotion a dozen different ways with analogies and setups and dialogue and whatever -- and it still doesn't feel old. And the emotion that dominated the second half of the story was grief. Basically the grief of loving someone you know you're going to lose. Like being the spouse of a terminal cancer patient. I didn't cry while reading, but it was a closer call than I have had in a VERY long time. So much beauty and humanity in this story. And spoiler (?), it's a happy ending. So I hope you all go check it out!

That's a wrap! If you read this far, stay tuned for a Writer version of Fandom Wrapped 2024!

[buildingunderstanding]

This is something I've been thinking a lot about, especially as someone who was raised Christian, who was raised under "thou shalt have no other gods" before me and "these other Pagan gods mentioned in the Bible or other myths don't exist at all".

"Worship" as a word and as a concept holds a lot of weight in the flavor of Christianity I was raised in. I was taught that actively choosing to go to work over being at church was an act of worship of money, but I was also taught that a lot of the ways Evangelicals or Pentecostals worship is incorrect, that it didn't count as worship because of how performative it is.

I was taught that worship should be personal and intimate and meant a personal relationship with God, but also that it had strict requirements, but thinking about it, I have a hard time defining what those requirements were.

In more recent years prior to my leaving the church worship was defined in sermons as "to ascribe worth or value to" and to be honest that scared and confused me. Was I worshiping my art because I found value in it? Was I worshipping my fandoms and fics because they brought me comfort and I held them as dear in my heart?

I didn't believe I could lose my salvation, but it did make me feel like a bad Christian. It made me feel like there was nothing I could ever do that would be enough to be worshiping God correctly or enough.

Then I met Loki and Apollo reintroduced himself to me and I found comfort in the idea of there not being a concept of sin. But I still struggle with the concept of worship.

If I was doing it right, if I was doing enough of it, if the things I did "counted", if I would be punished by the Christian God for trying to figure this out under the umbrella of Paganism.

Worship has kind of become a scary word for me and I often find myself looking for alternative ways to describe my relationship with these other deities. Oddly enough, "devotee" sounds less scary to me than "worshiper". It doesn't carry the emotional baggage that "worshipper" does and it feels more true somehow. I have candles I light and jewelry I wear that I have "devoted" or gifted to my new Gods. I have art that I have created with them in mind that hang on my walls that I consider to be gifts to them.

And while those things can be considered acts of worship...that's still a word that I'm trying to unpack. Some days it feels less icky or scary than other days. Today is a day where it feels scary.

It feels more comfortable to say that I lit a candle to honor Ares than it does to say that I did it in an act of worship. It feels more comfortable to say that I am holding space for these new deities than it does to say that I am worshiping them.

I understand that there are likely dictionary definitions behind the differentiation of the words, and maybe some people find comfort in having different words to describe how their relationships with the gods has evolved.

But for me it just adds pressure of there being a "correct" way to interact with faith, of doing worship in The Right Way or it won't count, or it'll be in vain and won't be accepted.

(I understand that there is to some extent correct ways of interacting with the divine, coming with respect and understanding and those types of things. That's not the type of correctness I mean.)

That type of fear isn't conducive to building a relationship.

I know it's up to me to curate my experience within the internet spaces, I know my struggle with words and concepts are my own and that I can't expect anyone to cater to my own issues. But sometimes seeing these sort of "being devoted to a deity is so much more than worship" is really disheartening. Kinda makes me feel like I'm back in Christianity being given vague and simultaneously very strict rules of what worship is and being warned against doing it incorrectly and earning at best silence from God and at worst some form of punishment.

There is a lot of unpacking and deconstructing I have to do and Loki and Apollo and Artemis have already been so helpful in that area and I want to continue on this journey, but it does get overwhelming at times. Some of that overwhelm does come from debates like this.

Where did the idea of worshiper and devotee being in different levels of worship? Those are literally synonyms lol

[narcjsistx]

𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 | kaiser x reader

— part six

plot: kaiser comforted you after a bad and slow breakup, but what will happen now considering what you two shared? is everything still unexpected or is there something you both simply have yet to realize?. fluff shit 'cause yeah!!

words: 2.8k (2821)

extra: it will probably become a multi part story, tell me if you're interested in a part seven!. really a little suggestive at the end but it's literally nothing, but I thought it was right to say it

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!. you can find the other parts of the story by searching in the section dedicated to bllk

The bags fall to the floor almost immediately, dropped from your hands that can no longer hold them. Michael's eyes are fixed on you, and you struggle, even for a few seconds, to hold his gaze. You reflect in his cerulean eyes a subspecies of betrayal, or even hatred; in all the years that you have known him, he has never looked at you like this, and it scares you. You shake more than you should, you even feel difficulty breathing. If hell wants to take you, it's succeeding. You immediately regret even opening that drawer

The letter, clean and tidy, shines on the table: the white, shiny paper, now seems to have your finger prints on it, prints that should only have been Kaiser's when he wrote it. The air is heavy, and heavy is your sense of oppression now

"Micheal I can-" you say almost in a whisper, but you remain silent when you see him take the letter in his hand "Sit down" he says while his eyes now scan the writings he himself has written. You swallow nervously, and quickly do as he says, sitting parallel to him, in the chair in front of his

You watch him as he rereads the letter once, twice, five, ten times, always taking the same amount of time. He never dares to look up at you, not even when he takes a break between readings. After minutes that seem endless, the only sound that escapes his lips is a heavy sigh, perhaps held in for a long time; one hand places the letter back on the table, the other reaches the bridge of his nose, which he massages with his fingers. He's visibly shaken, and you don't blame him, you're still shaking after all these minutes too

"So..." he says after a moment, taking his time to perhaps choose the right words "You read everything" he says looking up a little

You feel the skin on your body almost not sticking to your bones anymore, a sensation that you haven't felt even in one of your worst arguments with Gabriel. Probably if it had happened to you some time ago you wouldn't have understood the reason for this feeling, but now after all you know how to explain it: you love Michael, you're worried that he doesn't want to see you anymore after this. You care about him, about his opinion, about everything he does, unlike Gabriel

If until now, or at least until a few months ago, Gabriel was the person you worried about most in the world, now that role is played by another person. And this person is Micheal Kaiser

You want to talk, make up an excuse, but you know it wouldn't make sense; right now everything is too obvious, there are no openings to escape to and honestly you don't even want to lie to Micheal. The words die in your mouth, making you stay silent and without a truth to say. You stay silent because you don't know how to explain everything, and Micheal seems to notice your difficulty, because it seems more attentive

"I really don't know what to say to you either, Y/n. I wouldn't have even in the worst case scenario imagined something like this" he says with a calmness that hides so much anger, which you can see in the way he holds back some words "I just wonder why you would want to read something like this, especially considering it was hidden. Haven't you asked yourself why it was hidden?" he asks, but it's a question you know you can't answer because he's right "I'm just wondering... what the fuck is wrong with you? I really need to know, because now you know everything about me, that I've loved you for too long, that I dreamed that you were my wife, but what do I know about you?" he asks smiling almost hysterically, probably because of anxiety

The weight of the situation seems to crush you as if you were a simple feather: it kills you, it leaves you suffering and with each passing second it seems to strangle you more and more. Kaiser looks at you, waiting for answers that you have but that you don't really know how to explain to him. You can't explain to him how much you, only after years of him being in love with you, understood that you loved him too. You can't explain to him how hard it is for you to see the hatred he feels for you now, which he absolutely has the right to feel, but which still hurts

You can't explain to him how much you now just want to tell him that you would like to resolve the situation by kissing him and starting over something that probably just needs communication between the two of you

"You had the courage to read all that but not answer me?" he asks, raising an eyebrow, and you look down, keeping your hands in fists in your lap "You think you can solve everything with your silence? No, fuck, you can't, because this is literally a violation of my privacy. Do you realize how much I feel like shit right now knowing that you know things that I've kept from you for years just so our relationship wouldn't go to hell?" he says, and his tone of voice rises a little "Do you really have the courage to say nothing after finding out I love you?" he says, but the last sentence sounds more like a whisper desperate than an exclamation of complete meaning

"Micheal, please" you say with a shaky voice, trying to get a little bit of his pity, but you hear him laughing in an almost amused way "Please? You beg me? And what am I supposed to do, beg you to forget everything I've written over the years on those pieces of paper? Are you seriously asking me to give you a break when you literally did everything yourself, sticking your nose into things that didn't concern you?" he says, but at the last sentence you feel something inside you stir "They didn't concern me? Are you kidding?" you ask looking up, and you notice surprise in his eyes when he sees you answer him "That's not what matters, you literally discovered things that you shouldn't have known even when you were dead" he says, and for the umpteenth time it seems unfair to you "You should have told me" you say with a sudden conviction, but one that you don't really feel. You're just trying to find a way to calm him down, but with strange methods

In your eyes, Micheal seems to be on the verge of breaking. Everything he has kept inside for years is threatening to come out and he himself is realizing it. Everything he kept in his Pandora's box is now coming out like a menacing monster

"What was I supposed to tell you? That every night since you've been with that man, I hoped he'd die so I could finally tell you the truth? That I wanted to see you smile so badly that I gave 101% in matchs knowing you were watching me? That I dreamed for years of the feeling of being able to call you my girlfriend without being afraid? That I spent days locked in the house when you said you were leaving for Italy and leaving me alone? That everything I did was to make you happy and make you see that it wasn't just normal affection?

That I kissed other girls hoping it was your lips and not theirs? That I dreamed a million times of a future where you were my wife? That I always had a bottle of your perfume that I carried with me when I was out of town? That there's a picture of you and me as teenagers in my wallet?

That I lost weight when I found out Gabriel was taking you away from me? That Ness himself always thought me that you didn't feel the same way about me? That every time I saw you walk by I dreamed of you running to hug me?

That I dreamed of another universe where I could really be happy with you, where we were together, we could kiss and hug each other, we were husband and wife, we even had children, where everything was really perfect at least in my eyes?

That you were the only one I cried for? That you are the only person who knew what I went through with that asshole of a father of mine? That the feeling of even hearing your name made me happy? That seeing you after months of separation was like a liberation? That loving you for me was the only great joy my life has given me? That for me you are always be everything?

That ever since I found out that you and Gabriel fought often I was happy? That every time you told me about your arguments I hoped you would break up? That I hoped that the last fight was really the last? That running to you in Italy after your breakup was the moment I looked forward to more than when I have to score a goal? That feeling your arms around my neck while you hugged me after so long made me feel alive? That the sensation of finally having your lips on mine was like entering heaven? That letting you love me that night was like I had never really experienced anything, because there was no comparison in having sex with you?

How could I tell you all this, Y/n, knowing that it wasn't reciprocated? That by doing so I would be pushing away the only person whose thoughts about me I truly care about?"

The tremor you were feeling until now seems to disappear, replaced now by a feeling of liberation that perhaps Kaiser is feeling now too. The weight that was crushing you to death lifts as all his thoughts come to the surface, thoughts so intimate that not even letters could have

Kaiser has unconsciously risen from his chair, his arms stretched out against the table. He is breathing heavily, and it seems only now that he realizes what he has actually said, that the monster he kept in his Pandora's box has come out and destroyed the entire village. It seems as if what he has wanted to say for years has come out now, but he had not kept in mind the consequences of his words. For the first time, he seems like the least alien stranger you've ever met: you didn't know his feelings, but now his words have weight of no small importance

The real Micheal Kaiser, after years, is finally before your eyes, alive as only a human can be, dressed with a level of intimacy that probably few people can reach. Micheal Kaiser has finally shown who he is to the person he has always loved with an almost impossible level

"Micheal, I-!" you say, getting up from your chair too, but something inside you seems to block you from moving. It's time, now or never. You don't even know for sure if he still feels everything he just said, if he really is still in love with you that much, but now it's your turn to lay yourself bare. You love him, you know you do it for years, you know that everything you had with Gabriel was just something you were looking for from Micheal

"Micheal, listen to me, I-" you say trying to find the words, but everything inside you dies the moment he lowers his gaze "Forget everything"

And suddenly, all the weight that was gone comes back stronger than before, not even giving you time to realize. The belief you had until a few seconds ago suddenly seems to be a nonsense that you were about to reveal. Michael breathes loudly, with a calmness that doesn't belong to the situation. You watch him as he stands up straight, no longer with his arms stretched out against the table. It seems as if he has just realized the consequences of his words and that everything he said came out only because it had to come out, not because it had to reach your heart; freeing oneself, not acting for something. And it's exactly that "Forget everything" that comes out of his lips that makes you the angry one in this situation this time. It annoys you that now he is you, the person who would like to escape, that just at the moment when you were about to be the one naked in front of his eyes, he decided to close them

A last sigh escapes his lips before he silently makes his way out of the room, towards the door behind you. He is running away, running away from something that this time he has caused: there is a strange connection in your own situation, as if you were both two identical, yet different, sides of the same coin. In a lightning-fast move you place yourself between him and the door, your arms open and resting against the adjacent walls. Your heart is beating too fast, you don't even know what you're really doing, but it seems right in a corner of your soul. Kaiser looks up, staring at you with a hint of annoyance that actually covers something else

In a few days you went from best friends, to lovers unaware of each other, to strangers, to rival for annoyance and now? What are you two now?

Neither of you dares to utter a word, but your eyes seem to communicate with a language that your minds struggle to understand. It is something fine, that can easily break, but that is saying everything that you have hidden from yourself for years. It's a language that only two people who have done everything to hide their feelings so as not to hurt each other can understand with inhuman ease

“Say it” you say confidently, knowing that what you think is finally coming “Say it, because I know you think it. And I think it, too, Michael.”

You would have, or rather, you should have been honest with each other so many years ago. His tense nerves finally seem to melt away when he hears your words, now light as a feather

"I love you" he says, in a way that seems to carry with it many sleepless nights, lost because of thoughts. Finally, both you and him, have taken off the last crumb of weight that you were carrying; you smile almost unconsciously, bringing your hands between his jaw and his cheeks "I love you too, Michael"

It is in that moment that the knot you were holding tight in your stomach goes away, it is in the same moment that everything seems to take on a new shade. It is in that precise moment, where Kaiser throws himself violently on your lips, that shivers of love run through your whole body

The sensation he longed for is finally here, as he kisses you with an almost aggressive tenderness. You kiss each other back, feeling for the first time the real butterflies everyone talks about. It's a needy kiss, that perhaps he waited too long and that is taking everything now; but it's beautiful, loved, and you wonder how you and him could have waited so long if you knew the outcome was something like this, so exciting and inexplicable

His hands move to your hips, squeezing them lightly with a firm grip, as if he wants to make sure you're there. The kiss doesn't seem to end, as you hold each other, your body smeared against his and vice versa. There's something that maybe you're both still holding back but that's slowly coming out of you. Everything becomes more needy, just like that night in the hotel: the kiss becomes more aggressive, his hands tighter, your hands sweatier as you slide them along his neck, tracing the outline of his tattoo. You feel him tremble, as he moves his lips to your neck, letting soft sighs escape your lips, while suddenly everything seems to take a turn that you've both already experienced a few weeks ago

You don't know how, a few minutes later, you found yourself in his room, lying on his mattress with him on top of you, still aggressive on your neck. But you liked him so much that your legs were shaking for the emotion

You loved Michael Kaiser. Michael Kaiser loved you. You loved each other, and it took you years to realize what you could have experienced already at 19 years old. But now, at this moment, in his room, you loved each other

And that's what mattered to you

tag(s): @rroxii ; @kittenish0 (if you want to be tagged tell me!)

READ IS IMPORTANT!!: the story seems finished but NO, let's say we are only halfway through what I have in mind. thank you so much for all the support I'm receiving, I think I don't deserve it actually 🥹 love y'all 💗🌷

[melmedarda]

I’m sorry to jump in your inbox with that long af rant, but I’ve been lurking and loving every Meljay post of yours since day one and I need to scream in the void.

I’m inconsolable over how bad the writing of acts 2 and 3 was, it literally feels like it was written by a completely different team. What even was that conversation, it sounded like they asked ChatGPT to write a scene based on top 50 tweets about Mel and Jayce after 1x05 aired back in the days.

I’ve never in 15 years seen a ship so cruelly ruined, because how are people supposed to continue at all tolerating Jayce with that idiotically out of character dialogue in 2x08 between him and Mel? What a fucking bad way to treat fans, having them invested all the way until literally the last moment, it already was bad with how the majority of people (fandom, reactors, obviously the artists too) were “interpreting” Mel (if you can even call it that, cause interpretation requires media literacy), but now they have left us so burnt that I'm betting there aren’t even going to be fix-it fics because they. Just. Ruined. Jayce, so bad. And I still love the well written (still flawed tho!) Jayce from 3x01 (setting up a way more natural conflict-to-be-resolved path when he made those weapons five minutes after Mel vowed to protect his dream), but damn, I love Mel so much more, I really don’t know how to cope with all that. Only people who’ve had the luck to not have been treated as that husk of an AU Jayckass treated our girl can’t see the amount of PTSD that scene can trigger in a woman. I am so frustrated with how the creators treated her trauma and slashed the wounds wide open with both that and “You are the wolf”, I genuinely don’t know how to cope.

And the worst part is all of this could have been resolved with a single touch and him being open to her – like he always have been – just tell her he’s doomed instead of showing us a highly specific and unrelated two frames of the voidy-looking infection on his forearm spreading every time he is on screen. Even if that is one of their “yes we meant that all along we just wanted to show not tell it” like with the whole idiotic Sky/Viktor backstory that Overton “spilled” the other day. Jayce has been able to see through Mel’s shields the moment he saw her painting and was always shown to admire her intellectual prowess, he’d never leave her hanging like that.

If they wanted to write a Shakespearean tragedy so bad they made this intro scream “look at us, we gave you Greek last time, now it’s all about good ol’ Billy” why not have Jayce make the same impossible choice (as they brilliantly and am starting to think accidentally?) made Silco do in 1x09, having him choose between his love for Zaun and his love for Jinx, drawing one final parallel between the two men and closing that loop with Jayce/Silco carrying Viktor’s/Jinx’s body and infusing them with the deus ex machina. It was right there staring them at their faces, have Jayce choose between his love for Mel and his love for his brother.

What a spectacular failure of writing, what an even more monumental failure of the artists to come out with those comments, so now I don’t even want to praise their talent, because they should have kept their mouths fucking shut and stuck to drawing.

Sorry to dump this in your ask, can you tell I’m still reeling.

Please, please, do you have any headcanons, I need crumbs, I need to heal my soul and Mel’s.

Lovely anon you've but into words what all Meljay fans are feeling, I think. I cannot lie, I've been trying to let go of the ship. Withdraw sort of, especially since that was the ending we got. But I've had them for three years, and they've sunk their claws too deeply to me. I'm still thinking of them even now. I'm going to make the most of their divorce era, and I'm going to make them return to each other in ever single AU ever. Because Arcane S2 act #3 is not my Meljay. Also, AU Jayckass had me bursting out in laughter!

On the topic of headcanons. I have one in which when Vik tells Jayce to go back, Jayce does. He returns to Piltover but too much time has past, Mel has already burned his name and departed across the waters to Rokrund. Jayce knows he's done her wrong, realizes he's been blinded, and he does his best to atone in Piltover and Zaun, writing letters to Mel. Letters that go unanswered. And then eventually, he goes to Rokrund, and finds a different woman, one stronger and colder than he had known. He loves her anyways, and spends his years winning her back. And when he has groveled sufficiently, Mel takes him back. He sort of grounds her, so that she does not remain the wolf all the time. So that she does not become her mother.

[merrybloomwrites]

Little Things (Chapter 2)

Summary: It's time for you to leave the shelter to move into your new home with your doms, Harry and Louis. It's a tough transition, but the two of them are there to help you through it.

Word Count: 3.5K

CW: mentions of past abuse, dom/sub au dynamics, mentions of littlespace

Previous chapters: one

AN: Thank you to all who showed interest in the first chapter of this! I've had a lot of ideas in mind for this story and I'm happy to finally be sharing them.

This wasn't supposed to get posted until next Friday but I got impatient and I make the rules, so here it is now! Also I'm finishing the third chapter right now, which is finally all about reader going into little headpsace, and will probably post that tomorrow

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You sit in your room at the shelter, trying not to stress over what just happened. Ms. Emily had brought you to her office where you met two men, two doms named Harry and Louis who were married. She had explained they were looking to adopt a sub. More specifically, they wanted to adopt a little.

And while you technically fell into that category, you knew they wouldn’t want you. Doms looking for littles want someone who is in headspace a lot. And you never slip if you can help it. 

You’ve only gone into your littlespace three times since you were rescued. Ms. Emily was there each time, and she took care of you and always reassured you once you came back up, but you still didn’t like it. You felt like a burden, and you were scared of how you acted. You don’t feel like yourself when you slip. It’s like this whole other person takes over and you just have to watch as she basically possesses your body.

So yea, there’s no way these doms will choose you. Years of abuse have broken you, made you into a bad sub who’s unworthy of love and care.

The afternoon passes with you dwelling on these thoughts. 

Which is why you’re shocked to your core when Ms. Emily comes back and asks if you’d like to live with Louis and Harry. 

“They don’t want me,” you answer.

“Now why would you say that?” she asks.

“I’m not good enough. I’ll never be what they’re looking for. I can’t be.”

Emily wraps her arms around you, and you lean into her. It had taken a while for you to get comfortable with hugs, but she’d worked with you for weeks and now it doesn’t feel so weird. It feels kind of nice to be held by her. 

“Sweetheart,” she begins. “You are good enough. You are worthy of love, Y/N. And that’s what Harry and Louis want to give you.” 

“Wait, what?” You pull back enough to look her in the eyes and say, “What do you mean?”

She smiles and says, “They’d like to adopt you.”

“No way. Why would they choose me?”

“Well they were moved by your story-”

You cut her off to say, “So they know. They know how messed up I am. Do they just feel bad for me? Pity me?”

“No, honey. It’s not that. First of all, you are not messed up. You had a lot of messed up stuff happen to you, but you survived that. And they don’t pity you. But they do see someone deserving of a loving home, and that is what they have to offer.”

“They really want me?” you ask, needing to hear it again.

“Yes, Y/N. They want you. Didn’t hesitate, didn’t need any time to think it over. They met you and knew you were the match for them.” Tears fill your eyes as you listen to Emily. Never before had you been wanted. Your family hadn’t wanted you, the one sub amongst all the older dom siblings. They didn’t love you, just used you to fulfill their sick fantasies. 

But Louis and Harry. They want you. They’re choosing you. And though you’re scared, worried that you’ll disappoint them, hope begins to fill you. For the first time, you may have a true home. So when Ms. Emily asks you again if you want to live with them, you immediately say yes.

You don’t get to go with them right away though. They come back the next day to spend time with you and help you feel more comfortable with them. They’re kind, and gentle, and you like being with them. 

On Friday they come again and this time you leave the shelter with them to go to lunch. It’s weird being out in public, especially when they explain who they are and that they’re famous. This makes you feel nervous, but they reassure you that your safety and privacy is a top priority for them. 

One thing you notice is that they never tell you what to do. You’re always given choices, and they ask you questions, wanting to know your opinion. They let you choose the restaurant and allow you to pick anything off of the menu. 

And while it’s nice that they’re giving you freedom, it makes you a bit uncomfortable. It’s not in your nature to make so many decisions, and truthfully, it has you feeling fatigued. You wish that they’d tell you what to do, make the decisions for you. That’s the way it should be. They’re the doms, and you’re the sub. 

Back at the shelter that night you talk to Ms. Emily about those feelings. She says that you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them about your needs. That they’ll want to listen and do what is best for you. 

You spend the weekend preparing to leave the shelter for good, as you’ll be leaving Monday afternoon to go to Harry and Louis’ home. It’s weird to leave here, as it’s the first place you’ve ever felt safe. But you know that this has always been the goal. To find a permanent home, a family of your own. 

It’s sad saying goodbye to Ms. Emily, but she reassures you that she will keep in touch and you’ll still see her. She’s surprised when you go back for one more hug, but holds you tight for a moment and lets herself feel the pride at how far you’ve already come. 

The boys lead you to the car, where two other people wait. Louis introduces them as a driver and a security guard. You’re wondering if this is normal, and like he can read your mind, Louis adds, “We’re just being extra cautious today. It’s our first time being responsible for someone else, I hope you don’t mind us going a bit overboard.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind,” you reply.

“Well then, let’s get you home,” Harry says. The three of you slide in the backseat. You’re in the middle squished between the two. Before you can click in your seatbelt, you find Louis has grabbed it to do it for you. It’s a caregiver move for sure, and you once again hope they won’t be disappointed if you’re unable to be little in the way they want. 

It’s a quiet drive, and you sit as still as possible to not bring any attention to yourself. It’s something you’d learned growing up and it’s a hard habit to break.

Finally the car pulls into a long, gated driveway. Based on that, you’re expecting a huge mansion, but you’re pleasantly surprised to see a nice, cute, albeit fairly large, house. Big enough to hold a fair number of people, but not so enormous as to be overwhelming or garish. 

Harry leads you inside while Louis grabs your bag from the car. You stand just inside the doorway, looking around while waiting for instructions from your doms on what to do next, where you’re allowed to go.

It’s a relief when Louis says, “Let’s do a little tour, shall we?”

He and Harry lead you from room to room, starting with all the main spaces downstairs. There’s the living room, kitchen, dining room, library, den, laundry room, and two bathrooms. They also show you the door that leads out to the backyard, and they reassure you that it’s completely private. You peer at the high fence that surrounds the entire property, and for a second you feel uneasy. If something goes wrong, if they’re not as nice as they seem, you’ll be trapped. But you try to push those thoughts away. They’ve been nothing but kind. They’re nothing like your family. They won’t hurt you.

Next you’re led upstairs to be shown all the bedrooms. There’s two guest rooms, Harry and Louis’ room, and then they end with yours. It’s bigger than you’d expected, a large bed and a matching dresser and desk. There’s a bookshelf filled with a mix of novels and picture books. The more you look, the more you pick up on things that indicate this is a room for a little.

The dresser is low, and the top is soft, showing that it doubles as a changing table. There are toys suited for a young child. The bed has removable railings that can be put in place when you’re little to make sure you don’t fall out of bed. And then you notice the camera.

Harry sees you look at it with trepidation and says, “That will only be turned on when you’re little. The rest of the time we’ll keep it off so you can have privacy. It’s just to make sure you’re safe. Is that alright?”

“Yes, that’s fine,” you reply. It makes you more uncomfortable that he’s asking you for your opinion. He’s the dominant here, you’re the submissive. If they wanted to keep a camera on at all times that’s well within their right to do so. It’s strange to you that they keep giving you so many choices, and you wish they wouldn’t. 

“What’s wrong?” Louis asks, picking up on your discomfort.

“Nothing,” you quickly reply, not wanting to seem ungrateful by complaining.

“Why don’t we all sit and chat for a bit?” Harry says.

“Okay,” you reply.

“Would you be more comfortable here or in the living room?” he asks. 

Again with the choices. Even something as simple as that is weighing on you. Before you can control it you’re shouting out, “Please stop!” 

Immediately you’re horrified by your outburst. You’d misbehaved, surely you’re going to be punished, or maybe even sent back. You couldn’t even last an hour without ruining it. You look up in horror and begin to apologize, saying, “I’m sorry. Sir, I am so, so sorry. I didn’t- I don’t know what that was. Please, don’t send me back, I’ll be better.” 

The room is silent for a moment, no one knowing how to handle this situation. 

“Y/N, sit down,” Louis finally says. You do as you’re told, sitting on the edge of the bed. There’s a rocking chair in the corner of the room you’re facing, and Louis sits there, leaning forward towards you. Harry stands between, letting Louis take control from the moment.

“First of all, we will not be sending you back,” Louis says. “You live here now, with us. And while in the future you may be punished for speaking to us like that, you won’t be this time. You’re learning, and this is an adjustment for everyone. Obviously something is bothering you, but we can’t fix that unless you communicate with us. Y/N, please tell us what is wrong.”

“You keep asking me questions. Wanting me to choose things,” you answer.

“And would you rather us make the decisions?” he asks and you nod yes. 

Harry speaks next and asks, “Is it because you think we should be in charge and always tell you what to do?” 

“Well, yeah. Subs aren’t supposed to have freedom. We’re supposed to do what doms tell us to do,” you explain.

Harry moves closer, crouching down right beside you. He looks up, starts to move his hand like he’s reaching for you but decides against it. “Sweetheart, of course you have freedom. We aren’t like other dominants. We don’t believe that you’re less than us. You get to have opinions, you get to have control over your life.”

You listen and think about what he’s saying. It scares you, the idea of running your own life. You imagine what that will be like, how loud and confusing your mind will be trying to figure out what to do, what you want. 

“That’s too much,” you say. “Too much pressure. I could choose wrong. Please don’t make me do that.”

Louis speaks up again and says, “Would you feel better if we made the decisions? Set rules and routines for you to follow?”

You imagine that, simply fulfilling what they tell you to do, and everything goes calm, quiet. Peace washes over you at the thought, and so you answer, “Yes. I want to do as I’m told. It’s in my nature.”

They both smile as you say that. Because you’re right. And they’re proud of you for knowing that and having the courage to express your needs. 

“Then we can do that,” Harry says. “Here’s what we’ll do for now. There’s about an hour until dinner. You stay here for half an hour to settle and then come down to the living room until the food is ready. That way you can get comfortable with both of those spaces. After dinner we’ll sit and go over rules and routines.”

“Yes sir,” you reply. 

“Y/N, I’d like for you to call me Harry. Titles like sir will be reserved for punishments, and we can discuss what you’ll call us when you’re in littlespace. But for the most part, you’re to call me Harry.”

“Same goes for me. Well, no, I mean, call me Louis. It’d be a bit confusing if you were to call me Harry, huh?” Louis says, causing all of you to laugh. The tension breaks and Harry and Louis both stand to leave.

“We’ll be in the kitchen if you need us for anything. You may come find us at any time,” Harry says.

“I’ll drop off your bag in a minute,” Louis says and they both walk out of the room. 

There’s a bathroom attached to your room so you first use that. When you walk back out, your bag is sitting on the bed. You neatly put away what little belongings you have, noticing the dresser and closet are filled with clothes for you. It doesn’t escape you that some are a much younger style, clearly meant for when you slip into headspace. 

Sighing, you close up those drawers and lay on the bed. It’s comfy, soft with lots of pillows and a pretty floral comforter. And it’s a space all your own, something you’ve never had before. You stay there and relax until a timer goes off. You grab it from the bedside table and make your way down to the living room.

Louis is waiting there for you and seeing you enter right on time he says, “That’s a good girl, listening so well to directions. We’d like you to use this time to work on something, either read a book or do a puzzle. Something to keep your mind active. Would you like me to choose for you?”

You think for a minute and reply, “I’d like to do a puzzle. But can you please pick which one?”

“Of course, love,” he says as he walks over to one of the shelves. He looks for a moment then grabs a box and says, “Here, this one’s nice.”

“Thank you, Louis.” 

“I’m going to see if Harry needs my help. You get started on this.”

You sit on the floor in front of the coffee table and begin to pull out the edge pieces. Getting lost in the task, you jump when Harry walks in saying, “Dinner’s ready.” Seeing that he’s startled you he then says, “Sorry, love, didn’t mean to scare you. Did you do all of that in just a few minutes? Good job!”

You’ve completed the entire outline and were starting to sort the inner pieces by shape, a trick one of the other subs at the shelter had taught you. And while you’d made progress, it was only a puzzle. Nothing really to be proud about, but there’s Harry, looking like you’ve solved world hunger. It makes you feel warm inside, this praise that they seem to give quite freely. 

“C’mon, you can leave that here to work on again later. Go wash up and meet us in the dining room,” Harry says. You do as you’re told and the scent that hits you once you get to the table has your mouth watering.

Growing up you’d been fed enough to sustain you. Never anything fancy or particularly tasty. It was for survival, not enjoyment.

The food at the shelter was good, definitely tastier than you’d ever had before.

But this, whatever Harry has made, looks a thousand times better than even the best food at the shelter. The three of you sit and eat, Harry and Louis supplying most of the conversation, which you’re grateful for. When it’s done they tell you to head back to the living room and they’ll meet you after they clean up.

“Can I help clean?” you ask. You feel bad that you haven’t done anything to help so far, and you’re hoping to pitch in now so you feel less like a freeloader. 

“Not tonight love. Later we’ll talk about the different jobs you’ll have around the house, but none of that will start until we’ve all discussed it,” Louis answers. 

“I understand,” you say and turn to head to the living room as you were told. You work on the puzzle more until both Harry and Louis join you. 

“Have a seat there,” Louis says, pointing to the armchair. They sit on the couch across from it, ensuring that you can see both of them clearly for this conversation. 

“It’s become clear that you do well with set boundaries and routine, is that fair to say?” Harry asks.

You nod, and Harry adds, “First rule, always respond verbally unless you’re too young mentally to do so.”

“Yes, sir,” you answer quickly.

“Y/N, you’re not in trouble, you don’t have to call me sir. You’re still learning,” Harry says.

“Let’s go over the rules we have and the schedule we’ve made up for you,” Louis quickly says. 

For the next half hour the three of you talk. They explain all of the expectations they have for you, and give you papers with your rule list and daily schedule so you can keep those in your room to refer to when needed. 

“Of course, all of this will be changed and adjusted when you’re in littlespace, but if you’re old enough to follow a certain rule then you’ll still be expected to follow it,” Louis says after everything is discussed.

You don’t reply, looking down at the papers you’re holding instead.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Harry asks.

You take a deep breath and begin to explain why that might not happen often. “I don’t go into headspace much. When I was with my family they would just leave me alone and I’d wake up starving and a mess, and well, you can imagine. Or they’d do things to me because I couldn’t fight back. So I trained myself not to slip. Even now I try not to. It scares me to be so vulnerable. So just, please don’t be disappointed if I’m not as much of a little as you were hoping for.”

Neither of them answer you so you finally look up. You’re not prepared to see tears streaming down Harry’s face or swimming in Louis' eyes. Their reactions have you wanting to break down, but you can’t. Not now. Not yet. You look back at the papers in your lap and distract yourself by studying the rules until both doms have stopped their tears.

Louis is the first to speak. “Y/N, we don’t have any sort of expectations for you. If you do slip, or you don’t slip, that’s fine with us. We’re prepared to take care of you no matter what. Your safety and happiness is what matters.” Harry nods along with him to show that he agrees with everything Louis is saying.

“Thank you,” is all you manage to say. For now, you hope that it’s enough. 

“It’s been a long day,” Harry says. “And according to your schedule it’s time to get ready for bed. C’mon, we’ll head up with you.”

The three of you go upstairs, and the boys remain in your bedroom while you get ready in the bathroom. When you’re finished you see that they’ve pulled back the covers, and it looks so cozy and inviting.

“If you’re comfortable with it, we’d like to tuck you in each night,” Louis explains. “We feel it’s a good way for us to connect with you. Plus it just seems like a nice way to wind down at the end of the day.”

“I think I’d like that,” you answer. Sliding into bed, Harry tucks the blankets around you. There’s only a soft lamp on, casting a warm glow to the room. They tell you that you can come to their room if you need them, or you can press a button that’s on the bedside table that sends an alert to their phones. You feel so content and safe knowing that they’ll always be there if you need them. 

Before they go, they each press a gentle kiss to the top of your head, wishing you a good night and sweet dreams. It doesn’t take long for you to fall into a peaceful sleep, so content, and for the first time ever, so hopeful for your future.

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AN: Thank you for reading! Like I said, chapter 3 should be out tomorrow! I literally woke up this morning and decided to start it and now it's at 3.5K words and almost finished.

Next chapter here!

[kailoraurelius]

Am I talking about Swan and Mercy again? In another post? Because I am in love with their characters and the subtle things that define them individually and, therefore, together?? No, that's crazy talk.

So anyways, Swan is a bad ass. I said that in my last post, I'll say it again 📣📣 baddest bitch in the gang. Periodt. 💅

But MORE IMPORTANTLY, she's the most protective in the gang. My girl's first solo lines in the album are her worrying about them all going uptown unprepared. Like almost all the women, basically, are speaking against the idea, but they sound more annoyed or angry at the idea of not having weapons. But Swan is very clearly worried. She's thinking about how far it is and, if something goes down, how far they'll have to go to get home. She's worried about her ladies. Protective 👏👏👏

Then, she's the first one to start shouting "Stay down" to the Warriors in Derailed. Then, Woodlawn Cemetery, first thing she does is a head count. And in Orphan Town, it's her idea to approach the Orphans with a lighter touch, because they're outnumbered and she wants to protect her family so badly.

BUT she also chooses to protect Mercy in this song. Mercy, who she doesn't know, who has literally just tried to start a fight with her and her crew by demanding her vest. When Sully gets rough with her, Swan steps in and tells him to leave her alone. She was getting what she wanted before that!! Sully was backing off and allowing her through and even when Mercy tried to start shit, it's MERCY he got angry at. By all logic, if Swan hadn't spoken up, they could have still flirted their way through. But no. Swan sees a woman being treated wrong and she steps in.

And she's continues being protective of her crew for the rest of the album. But, let's skip to the end, then come back to talk about the three other major moments that I wanna talk about. So, The Finale. Swan sees this hearse, this dude calling out her crew, and without knowing a thing about him, she steps up to go fight his ass, telling the others "Stay behind me". She has, more than once in the album, put herself into danger to protect the others or done things out of her character to ensure their safety. And this is THE pivotal moment of that. It's why nobody listening can be surprised when she says, "Stay behind me". Because it's the defining characteristic of her.

It's simultaneously the saddest and sweetest thing about her. And that protectiveness is a super important aspect of her relationship with Mercy. Going back to the other moments I wanted to mention, it's most obvious to me in Park at Night and A Light or Somethin'.

Park at Night is a little more subtle, unless you're reading the lyrics. When Ajax gets cuffed and tells them to run, Swan immediately says, "Everyone go ahead". Sacrificing herself to lure the cops away so her family can escape. But, just as lightning quick, Mercy replies "no!" This girl who has known her a grand total of one (1) train ride SEES what she is doing. She's her once again putting herself into danger to protect someone. And she says no. She stays.

The other girls know the plan. Regroup in Union Square. But Mercy has just joined them and doesn't know this so it sounds to me like Swan's answering, "we'll regroup in Union Square" is her trying to tell Mercy to go, that she'd be okay.

But again, Mercy refuses. She says, "Swan, stick with me!" And then Swan seems to accept this woman isn't leaving her and she's switches to telling the others, "On the yellow line southbound platform, we'll meet you there". And she and Mercy, the one who wouldn't leave her alone, run. This moment, to me, is THE moment that made Swan/Mercy beautiful. Because nobody else argued the plan or even seemed to fully understand it.

In Cardigans, Cowgirl and Rembrandt are literally TALKING SMACK about Swan, saying she's "off canoodling with Mercy" and she "split off and left us". Like, y'all, she just put her life on the line to lead the cops away from you??? Rude.

Even Cochise, who stands up for Swan, doesn't say, "Hello, she just saved our lives at the risk of her own", she only defends the canoodling part by saying it's tactical.

Like, Mercy has been in your presence TWO SECONDS and she understands Swan better than y'all do, I'm crying. (Do not take this as me hating on any of the Warriors, I am in love with all of them and I know they're angry and scared in this moment and likely blinded by that and lashing out.)

And that brings us to the second of the three major things I wanna talk about. A Light or Somethin'. I know, everyone has talked about it. But there's something about it that I don't think I've seen anyone else mention. In that song, when Swan is rejecting Mercy, everyone is saying it's all because she has low self-esteem or doesn't trust her or is scared to feel her emotions. But I think the truth is that Swan is doing exactly what she's done this whole time. She's protecting someone else. She knows who she is, she knows she has lived a rough life and she's likely not going to be a very good partner because she's never learned how. So she's PROTECTING MERCY AGAIN by pushing her away. She says "be careful", "don't put your hope in me", "don't put your trust in me". Yes, this is definitely Swan thinking she isn't good enough, but it's also her protecting Mercy from HERSELF.

And Mercy, love of my life, is trying to tell her that she isn't scared. That Swan isn't something she needs protection from. SHE wants to protect Swan. She is in her corner, she stayed with her when the cops rolled up, she wants to fight by Swan's side. She says, "then WE'LL go" when Swan says she'll leave. Mercy has seen this amazing, protective woman, who cares so much for her family and for total strangers, and she wants to stay with her.

And that brings us to Same Train Home. When those rich assholes get on and are staring at the Warriors and Mercy is hurt by what she sees in their faces. And Swan, likely moved by Mercy still staying with them after her rejection and definitely moved by Fox's death and the loss of Ajax and Cleon, does it again. She puts aside her own fears and self-doubts to what?? Protect��� Mercy 👏 She takes her hand and says, "Hold your head high. Let them stare in judgement" before she kisses her. Effectively telling Mercy "I heard you in the tunnel, I know you want to live bravely and boldly and I'm not going to let these pricks scare you into doing anything less. Fuck them and what they think."

And that's what's so beautiful about them, to me. They see each other so clearly.

Anyways, I'm gonna go cry now, thanks for listening to me ramble. 🤙

[higanbanamilktea]

Hi! May I request fluff/comfort headcanons of Kinich, Heizou, Tighnari and Cyno (if too many characters, feel free to choose which ones) caring for their mage s/o who faints cause they have been overworking using their magic too much lately, and who is also feeling kind of guilty because they cannot keep working in their state.

Author's note: i wrote most of this on a bus during a trip! So i'd like to thank you for giving me something to do so i don't get bored!!! \(★ω★)/

Also, i didn't put Kinich because i don't know much about his character

You don't know exactly how long you've been studying, but it's certainly been long enough for your head to hurt and the words in your tomes to lose meaning.

But you can't rest yet! Not until you can finally cast the spell you studied so much.

You take a deep breath, you're confident you won't faip this time!You position yourself, make the gesture with your hands, say the words...AND-

PLAFT!

You collapse into the ground.

Cyno

He was downstairs when he heard a loud noise, and immediatly went to check what's happened.

tucks you in the bed, then patiently awaits until you wake up.

When you recover consciousness, cyno would ask what happened.

you start crying, saying you can't even cast a "stupid spell"!

Trying to cheer you up, Cyno would tell some (terrible) jokes and puns about wizards, sorcerers and magic

Jokes so bad they're funny.

He will force you to take a break for a few days, at last!

Tighnari

He carries you to bed, covers you with a comfy blanket and puts a wet towel on your forehead

You wake up to the comforting smell of warm soup

As you lazily open your eyes, you see Tighnari smashing some herbs with a pounder. You figure he is making some kind of medicine.

The soup smells delicious, but you're so comfortable like this you don't want to move.

When Tighnari sees you're awake, he quickly finishes the medicine, giving it to you

"How are you feeling?" You answer the question with sad puppy eyes, and ask if he would oh so kindly spoonfeed you the soup

Tighnari complains, but still helps you eat.

Heizou

When you wake up, your head is comfortably placed on top of Heizou's thighs

He is softly caressing your hair and humming a lullaby.

You try pretending to still be unconscious, but Heizou catches you smiling.

He can't help but pepper your face with small kisses!

Heizou would offer to help you study the spell.

He's not very studied in magic, but will understand The subject very quickly!

I hope you enjoyed! (´,,•ω•,,)♡

[manic-sapphic]

catra season 4 - moments she couldn't fake it

and choosing to step out from behind the rubble after they were teleported onto prime's ship just in time to save glimmer's life. and buy time for the rest of etheria, too. i love that she walks over and stands beside glimmer, facing prime, who keeps his hand on glimmer's face the whole time catra's talking. you can tell she already knows this guy is reeeal bad news and is tryna think on her feet to convince him to back off for as long as she can.

i definitely think the whole move she made there was one of very intentional protection - at the time, i'd guess it was mostly cause glimmer was one of adora's best friends - and let's be real, she'd been regretting how much she hurt adora throughout most of season 4 and hating herself for it but tryna mask it and convince herself she'd feel better if she could just finally win.

but then when they were, she was still miserable. so, after feeling sick and tired of hurting adora for so long, she puts a pause on prime murdering glimmer right then and there, then likely turning to etheria to do what she later watches him doing on another planet through one of the windows of his flagship - blasting the whole place to bits until it would be left an uninhabited wasteland.

i don't think she had all her shit figured out yet, not even close, but she invited glimmer to end her life when she found her in the fright zone, her ability to deceive herself completely shattered and the reality of just how horribly she'd ruined her own life - the ripple effects of which hurt so many others as well, particularly adora, who DT just forced some painful truths about out from the depths of catra's mind, where she'd done her best to bury them.

she hadn't even had the time to fully process all of that before accidentally ending up aboard prime's ship w glimmer. she's not quite there yet, but you can tell her mind is on its way. she ends up bonding w glimmer cause that's her true nature, one she just doesn't have the willpower to keep suppressing anymore. even prime calls her out for having pity for her, but eventually i think she even grows to enjoy visiting her and sees why she and adora are friends, probably racked w guilt and regret thinking that if only she'd gone w adora, she could've been one of those friends too.

but knowing where she is and all the various circumstances of their situation, that chance is lost to her forever. but she realizes that doesn't mean it has to be lost for everybody else. so she saves glimmer, and by extension, not just everyone who's on their way to try and rescue her, but hopefully all of etheria and even the universe by keeping adora and the others away so they'll have the chance to try and take prime down.

she sacrifices herself saying it's just for adora, but i get the feeling she was also doing it for anyone and everyone who it might hopefully save, so desperate to do anything she could possibly manage, wanting so badly to do whatever she could to make up for trying to destroy everything with the portal and all the other harm she'd caused etheria. cause that was never really her or what she wanted, but she could never go back and change what she'd done or have what she wants, and she didn't feel like she deserved to anyway. so she chose to make her final act hers. what she really wanted for everyone. and yeah, especially adora.

[nebulousjoy]

You know, I genuinely don't like the "Sonic vs Shadow" rivalry the series has implemented these days. Idk, it just feels so....out of character for them both?

I understand that, after SA2, Shadow 05 was the first time Shadow has interacted with Sonic more heavily and it's also the same game where they went in the new (terrible) character direction for him, so...of course they're gonna have a vitriolic dynamic. But again, it just doesn't make sense.

I've never liked the new direction they took with Shadow, his original depiction (however barebones it was since SA2 was Shadow's debut game) and what we saw of him in Heroes (which is muddled because of his amnesia) is still my overall favorite version of him. I personally feel like the TRUE Shadow honestly wouldn't care about being Sonic's rival. He wouldn't care about competing with him.

Because, why would he? Who is Sonic to him exactly? Someone who at first got in his way, but then after he remembered Maria's wish, someone who he became the ally of? That's about it. I don't see Shadow as the type to care about other people's opinions, and that also goes for Sonic. In both ways.

For the record: I also don't like the more recent character depiction they've done with Sonic, Colors and onwards - how he was written in basically all of the main games prior to Colors is my favorite version. That Sonic is my modern Sonic. But I digress - we all (should) know that Sonic doesn't care about others' opinions. He does what he wants, whenever he wants to do it. He can be playful if he's in the mood, but I don't see any genuine reason why he would care to have a rivalry with Shadow.

Would he make jests at Shadow, maybe have an attitude at times? Of course, we've seen him be like that with Tails and Knuckles. But, wanting to actively compete with Shadow? Picking fights with him to prove he's superior / to "dampen" Shadow's ego? I feel like the TRUE Sonic, outside of moments where he could believe competing with Shadow would be fun and would want to do so because of that, wouldn't give a damn either. These guys should be able to vibe in the same space without always getting into a bickering session.

Yeah, I can see Sonic being salty over how GUN gave him a huge headache because of Shadow's antics, but I don't see Sonic as the type to hold grudges (excluding against Eggman because...he's Eggman). Especially not towards someone who ends up doing the overall right thing in the end (e.g. Shadow choosing to help them save Earth at the end of SA2) out of non-selfish reasons. No, Sonic shouldn't start liking Eggman because he sometimes chooses to help him & his friends reach a common goal, the doctor's just trying to save his own ass first & foremost.

Sonic and Shadow's animosity towards one another made perfect sense in SA2 because they were literal enemies. But now? Why??IMO, it feels like they've hammed up this "rivalry" between these characters purely for the sake of fanservice & nostalgia pandering. The whole "Remember how they fought in SA2? Remember the Faker cutscene?? Look at them call each other a faker, isn't that a classic???" nonsense.

And while fanservice & nostalgia pandering aren't inherently bad things....they are when the characters get flanderized or written OOCly to make them work.

[lazy-sixteen]

Still on my pathologic kick, anyway, character relationships we don't talk enough about but that make me insane, Artemy addition

Artemy and Capella

First off, just the fact that she can, has, and will psychically, unconsciously SOS him across town. We need to talk about that,

and like the fact it's unconscious, please image post-canon Capella accidentally summoning Artemy bc she and Khan had a fight. Giant, angry doctor on call at any moment against both their wills

Their first conversation where she tells him about curling up in her mother's coffin, "of course we're friends", presenting herself as still weak and coming into her powers vs. their conversation at the Cape, denying an emotional connection, "we're not friends", saying she can do it all on her own - I'm insane. I don't even think it's manipulation, I think she wants an adult who treats her like a child - not a reincarnation of her mother- but gets frightened at the possibility of losing even a drop of her control. The way she specifically denied seeing Artmey as a father.

Capella desperately wanting to be her mother and to have an adult's responsibilities as a Mistress and the children of the town's mother (the way she calls Artemy's list, "our children" - like they are both adults) vs. Artemy seeing how much Capella can resemble her (shitty) dad and being the one person reminding Capella she's not her mother and she is a child, and he'll treat her like one.

The role of the White Mistress based on Victoria's Tomb as "being" the town vs. Artemy specifically talking about the Town calling him - He'll always hear Capella's troubles and pain

And we're back to the psychic SOS thing, but like from a humorous standpoint she really could do the "projecting my period cramps meme"

Artemy and Khan

Okay this is shorter, because they don't interact much but their conversation after the House of Death where Khan gets mad at Artemy for letting him and Notkin go into the dangerous house makes me want to scream

Like not in a bad way - Khan has a point that it was irresponsible to let him and Notkin do that (as does Artemy in that he couldn't really stop them), but just ....

Super independent Peter Pan-meets-child dictator character's first response being "Why didn't you (an adult) stop me (a child)?" is wild

He gives very similar vibes to Capella in which they will loudly declared they don't see Artemy as a parental figures and don't want him to be one, while simultaneously desperately (and likely unconsciously) really wanting the safety net of an adult who will selflessly care for them - something they don't have due to their (1) weird families' expectations of them as future mistress/Kain, (2) their own hyper-competence and independence

Artemy and Andrey

This isn't as serious, I just think it's funny that Andrey has suggestive lines at Artemy in patho1 and patho2. Also is like genuinely pretty friendly with him in both (he'll give you Tyrwine for checking on Peter and he's outright help in his 1st Patho 1 sidequest)

Also just straight up, doesn't believe Artmey if he takes credit for destroying the Polyhedron

Like in fan depictions, I often see them not getting along, but I'm 99% sure Andrey's impression of Artemy is "My Hot and Helpful Weed (Twyr) dealer" - outside of Dankovsky, he's the Utopian who probably likes Artemy the most

Meanwhile Artemy gives off strong "i am choosing to barely register a word coming out of this man's mouth for my own sanity" vibes

Aspity and Dankovsky vs. Aspity and Artmey

Okay, mixing Pathologic 1 and Pathologic 2 here a bit which might not be fair as Aspity in general does seem more serious in Pathologic 2 (even for Daniil in the Marble Nest)

BUT the sheer whiplash of Aspity calling Daniil a prickly prick and monologuing suggestively about naked women at him in Patho1 vs.

Declaring herself Artemy's spiritual elder-sister/mother, keeping his inheritance safe, trying to save him from a cruel fate with Patches even at the cost of her life in Patho2

The whiplash is wild, I want to lock the three of them in a room and see what she does

Artemy and Taya

I love that being the co-ruler/enforcer/parental figure mix to one weird-magical little girl ruler who can magically communicate with him wasn't enough

Taya subconsciously yoinking Artemy into her dreams to play dolls or tell her stories - he hasn't slept in a week

Also I think it would be really interesting post-canon to look at how they are doing as the two big spiritual and political leaders of the Kin

[roseofhybrids]

was gonna write this in the tags, but it got way too long for that, so

short answer: If we're going purely off of the cannon material we've seen in the series I have to say too ambiguous to answer

long answer:

on one hand she did a lot of bad things, abuse, murder, siding with robo-satan

but on the other, we never got the chance to see what she would choose to do when truly free to make her own choices through the series, she's either under control of the Elliots or the solver. Which severely limits just how in control she can be of her own choices. Would standing up for your "boss and coworkers" against people and entities bent on abusing and killing them be the right thing to do? Definitely, but it's also a fast way to get yourself and them killed this isn't meant as a justification of any of her actions, just an explanation of why she'd choose them

and we don't get the chance to see if she'd continue choosing to act the way she did in the series after the solver gets defeated

take N and V for example they also did a lot of murder of both humans and drones while working for the solver. While V didn't physically hurt N, as far as we know, she still did mistreat him. You can argue that it was to a lesser extent than what J did, but even if it wasn't as bad, it still wasn't good either All three of them were made to do horrific things while working under the absolute solver. But we only get to see how N and V change when free from that

N's change is pretty quick He didn't remember the solver at the time of the pilot, so he didn't have to consider the possible consequences of going against an eldritch space demon that has already eliminated at least 1 planet

V on the other hand did remember and as a result takes longer to change In episodes 2 and 3 we see she's still intent on killing the worker drones and tries to convince N to do the same. She asks him to stop looking into the solver and goes to the prom planning to kill everyone there. V can remember the deal she made with the solver, and she knows it's out there. She can't start slacking off just because J is gone, it could show up at any point and there would be consequences for both her and N In episode 4 we see this fear first hand. V sees Uzi is getting taken over by the solver and attempts to kill her. She justifies this to N by saying that if they do their jobs, that thing (the solver) will leave them alone. She is killing in order to protect herself and N from the solver

This is the exact same justification J gives to V in the finale. She justifies siding with the absolute solver because she believes there's no way to escape or defeat it. There's no escape even in death, so it's pointless to disobey it. Had J come back sooner and had a similar encounter with V in episode 2 or 3, maybe even 4. It's possible that V would have agreed with J back then

But when they do fight in episode 8, V now believes it's possible to overcome the solver and as a result rejects J's offer to join the "winning team". Cementing her evolution to a heroic character

J on the other hand has not had the chance to have that growth. While N and V had the chance to be free from the solver for a while. J spent that entire time by its side. J isn't free from it till CYN's core is destroyed

so, would J choose to better herself now that there's no obligation to please a violent master that will kill her for stepping out of line?

well we can't say for sure we can speculate, of course. There's certainly signs and evidence that she has the capacity for it, but we can't see if that change takes place. If it happens, it happens post canon

I personally believe she could if given enough time and the room to atone by the other drones.

But she could just as easily be rejected by the other drones and be left alone to stew and grow resentful

Maybe they try to let her in, but she ends up being unwilling to change and instead isolates herself. Be it because of ego or a fear of diverting from the life she's lived for so many years

How J turns out after the credits roll is left to interpretation. It's hard to call her bad when we take her situation into account and see the potential for growth. But it's also hard to call her good when we don't know for sure what happens

Rb and all that jazz

[liesandbrokenhearts]

Does anyone else get scared of their minds sometimes because lately I’ve been scared of how little I care about myself and what happens to me because I feel so hideous and unimportant and broken and just ugly and I know that’s not good and I don’t know how not to feel it right now. It’s scaring me how deep I am in this pit of self hatred and sorrow. Like my own mind is scaring the hell out of me

[spielzeugkaiser]

I love your art soooo much-it gives me life!! 🥰🥰🥰

I have a question about Milek and Jaskier! Milek says they fought before Jask went missing-what did they fight about? Did Milek say something he shouldn’t have? 👀😢 is there ANGST?

Also does Geralt know Mileks plush friend is called Roach? Because surely that’s a clue that Milek is his…(I love this universe so much)!!🥹❤️❤️❤️

[MASTERPOST] That was the last conversation they had before Milek stormed out - and when he came back, Jaskier was. gone. The thing is, Jaskier knows what Milek is interested in (and he is not even wrong about that, Milek has an interest in medicine, and helping people, and I think when they met he was Shanis biggest fan) and I think Jaskier is aware that some of the conflict does have its roots in Milek not wanting to leave him, even if they get really heated and ugly in their arguments. Milek shouldn't feel like he has to care for him, or have to protect him and at times I think Jaskier feels quite ashamed, which leads him to being way too unrelenting at times - especially if he thinks he's doing something to protect Milek.