#how are they still rehashing the same arguments over and over again?

[travellingwiththedead]

People are being arsehole anons in the iwtv tag again concerning a certain fight in a certain episode *le sigh*. People need better hobbies...

[kuekyuuq]

Supercorp - Rehashing the Fallout once more

Today's menu: Kara Danvers' Double-Standards.

I am rewatching Supergirl, and it occurred to me why I am with Lena on the "you lied to me" point. (Not the brain-wash the planet or taking a year to get over herself and realize her own - horrible - mistakes parts, though.) Not because of the lie itself or its content, but its context with Kara's very own history!

Let's take a walk...

In the pilot Kara gets mad at Alex for her having kept her double-life as a DEO agent secret from her.

Kara is utterly disappointed and distraught at the secrets her parents kept from her (Medusa, Myriad), some of which affected her directly (Krypton's impending destruction).

Kara finds out that James is Guardian before he told her and she was pretty upset, explains it's because they are humans throwing themselves into danger.

When J'onn explains to Kara how bonded Martians share their minds, Kara expresses how she thinks the “no secrets, no lies” sounds “beautiful”.

Kara ends their relationship with Mon-El over him lying about his true identity (and him being the Prince of a cruel society), ignoring him when he said he tried several times to tell her. When Mon-El let himself into Kara's apartment to apologize, he BEGS for forgiveness

but Kara says she deserved better than being lied to… Yes, she secretly forgave him at this point but still breaks up with him (Rhea told her to do so) and cries over it.

Music Meister teaches Kara (and Barry): “Love is about letting yourself be saved, it's not just about saving other people.”

Trust.

Lillian tells Kara, she doesn't need to spill SG's identity, because when Lena FINDS OUT, it'll be so much worse.

(And Lillian was SO on point!)

When Kara and Clark spar and have a heart-to-heart, Kara wonders if she can have it all, Clark assures her about the most important people make keeping the secret worth it and how letting (only) those important people in IS enough. Later, asked the same questions, Cat tells Kara that women have the guts to be vulnerable, lists her accomplishments.

Kara does not take Lena possessing some of Lex's Kryptonite nor the whole Sam/Reign-secret kept from her well. Gets even angrier when Lena creates her own Kryptonite (in her quest to fight/cure Reign …and cancer and other human ailments).

Or Mon-El hesitating to tell and keeping from Kara about his time-travelling, marriage and his actual mission…

That is up until mid-s03 and not even counting the many times how the show also taught us through Alex', J'onns and Lena's lenses that lying and pretending to be someone one is not to those important/close to oneself, is harmful to their (romantic and platonic) relationships and themselves.

Do I need to go on?

...Kara is clearly fully aware at that point that secrets (even her own) do not bode well in any type of relationships she would like to have and keep.

And, yes, I am fully aware of the "point of no return" argument, in all its validity, that at some point the lies had stacked up so much, that the hurt was inevitable, the fear of rejection more and more founded, of Kara wanting to be "just Kara" with Lena… Every season, every in-show year that passed and Kara kept her secret(s), it became impossibly harder to come clean. But, re-watching the show, it just seems so… irresponsible? And the more often Kara makes a point herself being lied to is a bad thing, even …hypocritical.

I am not saying any of the people who lied to or kept things from Kara were in the right or wrong - a totally different discussion that would require individual assessment. But, Kara, making the same point over and over again? Several times about the very topic of hidden/fake identities and double-lives… But then proceeding to keep her proclaimed best friend in the dark about herself, still?

Yeah, that bugs me. A lot.

IMO, after the whole Mon-El returned thing Kara would or should have had an epiphany about telling Lena the truth about herself… but then Reign beat her into a coma and all kinds of hell broke loose.

But… Yeah. Not even for Supercorp reasons. But internal logic.

From a story-writing perspective; you have your (main) character face a (similar but slightly different) situation a couple times before they learn their lesson. You plant the seeds (in this case: identity reveal) and then have it play out, based on what the character had learned(!) this far. And you have them deal with the worst-case-scenario backlash, if you need any for drama's sake, but it should make some level of sense… Instead they had Kara learn nothing, had her lie to Lena for another two years, and turned Lena into a spiraling madwoman. And Kara… well, now in Mon-El's shoes, could not quite understand how Lena (in Kara's former shoes, but with much more tainted personal experiences) was deeply, intimately hurt, devastated, and struggling.

Kara saw this coming - but tbh, when Lillian spoke so (unintentionally) truthful, Kara should have focused on the implied "if someone ELSE but you tells her", and when talking to Kal, realized that he didn't keep his secret FROM his most important people (Lois, James…) to protect them. Taken Cat's advice to have the guts to be vulnerable to reap Lena's long-term trust instead of settling for "for now this works, right?".

Not to mention that the whole show over and over stressed, that Kara could "have it all" without revealing herself to the world (the 100th episode even making a point that telling the world WILL put her loved ones at risk) or deciding on one half of herself, but then the show ended, and… yeah… I guess, some sort of witness protection for everyone?

No more casual strolls for "just Kara" through the park…

I adore the show, but… continuity?

It's just a bit painful to re-watch the show and watch Kara fault and shame others over and over again, only to go ahead and do the thing herself... Aware, yet oblivious. And NOBODY calls her out on it. (The one time Alex asked her and Kara was all like "I had to take the dog to the vet" is too little too late.)

Thankfully the fandom is so amazingly creative <3

#Kue out.

[sapphic-agent]

It is SO interesting how Glee fans (the Glee Subreddit) label Mercedes with an attitude problem. Let's rehash 3x03 for a minute.

Mercedes Quitting

Mercedes, clearly struggling: My ankle hurts.

Schue: Push through it.

Mercedes, bent over in obvious pain: I don't feel good.

Schue: You're fine.

Mercedes: No I'm not.

What absolutely irks me about what people choose to focus on in this scene is that Mercedes didn't start off yelling. She was communicating very quietly and respectfully that she was in pain and couldn't continue. It wasn't until Schue dismissed her twice that she began to raise her voice.

(There's also a stigma around Black women, especially bigger Black women, and pain. Schue not taking her seriously in this scene is actually a bigger problem than most people realize)

She then points out that Schue is always picking on her, which is very much backed up by him being supportive of and easy on Finn but then pushing her ten times harder. And don't say it's because Finn put more effort because Schue prior to this would have had no way of knowing how much he practiced at home.

Mercedes: Where's Rachel, huh? I don't see her here! Being "apart of the team!"

Finn, under his breath: Rachel practices-

Mercedes: Nobody asked you, Finn!

What's crazy to me is that people harp on Mercedes for this in particular. Finn had zero right to insert himself into the conversation. And he knew that too, that's why he said it so quietly. No one else said anything because it wasn't their business. And of course it pissed Mercedes off more. Everyone's showing grace to Rachel, but no one bothered to do the same with her.

(Also, we never saw Rachel practice this specific choreo. So what Finn said might not have even been true because let's be honest, Schue wouldn't have made her anyway)

Mercedes: You give that skinny Garanimal-wearing ass-kisser everything! And for two years, I took it. But not anymore, I'm done.

You can certainly make the argument that this was disrespectful... But then you also have to admit that Rachel was the same, if not worse. You cannot say that Mercedes had an attitude problem, but Rachel is just so silly and "peak Glee." That isn't fair, especially because Rachel has done it multiple times, for way less justified reasons. And was never threatened with being kicked out permanently like Mercedes was.

Judging Mercedes harder than Rachel here is a double standard.

Mercedes Giving up Maria

Mercedes: Are you double-casting any other roles?

Bieste, Artie, Emma: No.

Mercedes, getting up: Thank you for your time

Very respectful here. Not one ounce of attitude.

Mercedes was better than Rachel. Rachel knew it (even admitted it) and so did everyone else. So the fact that they still chose to double cast it was such a slap in the face. They were pandering to Rachel, and screwed Mercedes over in the process. Of course she was insulted.

Bieste: Where are you going?

Mercedes, to Rachel: Tell me you are better than me.

Again, not even the slightest hint of malice towards Rachel. Mercedes respects Rachel to a degree, and doesn't feel the need to insult her to get her point across. Mercedes handles this whole interaction very maturely.

Artie: Mercedes, don't make this a stupid pride thing.

Mercedes: Oh, it's a pride thing, but it's not stupid. Congratulations, you've got the part.

Artie's intervention in this scene is very telling. Mercedes was calm, collected, and respectful here but he (and everyone else, just look at their faces. They're acting like she's yelling and swearing) still acts like she's being combative. If a Black woman stands up for herself, she's being aggressive or rude or problematic. She's blowing it out of proportion so it's easy for everyone to brush it aside.

If you think Mercedes has an attitude problem because she stands up for herself and doesn't roll over for Rachel or Schue or Finn, check yourself. Just because a Black woman isn't afraid to speak up doesn't mean she has an attitude

Argue with the wall

[sodamnradd]

“Could I stay with you for a while?”

It’s a terrible idea. The two of them sharing a space again guarantees two things: sex and heartbreak. Followed by unbearable try-hard cordiality as they split off into what they label an 'amicable breakup’.

Only amicable because Draco can never say no to her and Hermione knows it.

She moves in the next morning.

Draco’s flat is spacious. A duplex with soaring picture windows and five spare rooms. Yet somehow Granger is everywhere.

Her books are stacked high on his once fashionably minimal side tables. A stockpile of produce has overthrown all the meat in his refrigerator, ‘cows are friends, not food, Draco’. (Riveting, her new diet.) His wine stash is near depleted. And there are ring stains all over his furniture because she is still incapable of using a coaster.

By day five, Granger has found a permanent place in his bed.

She sounds the same when she orgasms. His name parting her lips like praise. Her skin inconceivably soft when she’s flushed and sated, nestled in his arms.

Eventually, he simply can’t take his hands off her.

A swift kiss on the curve of her neck while she’s brushing her teeth. Seeking her out after an hour or two in another room, realising he hasn’t touched her in a while and he misses her.

Eleven days later, Draco is bleakly aware he's in love again.

Eighth-year love. All touch and teasing and taste and torment.

The sensations come rushing back. Being stubborn and seventeen and utterly obsessed with Hermione Granger. Convinced his heart was shrivelled up, only to learn it just needed someone to beat the life back into it.

Recently, he wonders if he ever stopped loving her.

One evening, over dinner and the last bottle of vintage, he quits ruminating and just asks her. “Remind me why we broke up?”

Her knife grates porcelain, cutting her cauliflower steak into bite-sized pieces. “I moved to Australia, and you had to stay here, tending to your mother and manor.”

She looks up at him, mouth twisting. “We got into an argument.”

“Oh.” He remembers now. “Weasley was going with you.”

“And Harry.”

He shakes his head, refusing to rehash it all. “You told me not to come.”

“Because your mother was unwell, and you had plans to sell your home. You had responsibilities, Draco. Just as I did.”

“Didn’t you know I would have done anything for you?” He drops his fork and knife, his appetite spoiled. “I even agreed to stay friends after you broke my heart.”

“We can’t abstain from one another’s lives,” she insists stubbornly. “It’s impossible for us.”

He sighs as an impending headache blooms at the back of his skull. “Why are you here, Hermione? Couldn’t you have stayed with Potter?”

Beneath the table, he senses a nudge on his ankle. Her skin is starkly cold and the look she gives him is all trouble as she strokes his leg with her foot.

Draco’s disappointment obscures, quickly drowned out by his heartbeat.

“Where did you learn to smirk like that?” Admiration bleeds into his voice.

“I had a Slytherin roommate once.”

“Lucky you.”

“Very,” she agrees, drawing lazy lines over his shin. “He had a way of surprising me.”

“Surprise you how?”

“By making me love him.” She rests her chin on her hands, looking up at him through long smoky lashes. “I loved him even after we broke up, and I love him now.”

“Hermione…” Draco swallows heavily as reality creeps in. “You’re only going to leave again.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Now, she looks positively devilish.

“What does that mean?”

“We fell in love like this, sharing a home.”

Something trivial, like hope, passes through his veins. “You’re not really waiting on a new flat, are you?”

She gives him a sheepish look. “Not unless it’s this one.”

He laughs so hard, Crookshanks startles off the counter and lightning-bolts across the room, yowling.

Draco jumps to his feet, drags Granger’s seat back, and scoops her up into his arms. “I get half the bookshelf space.”

“A third, but you can have the larger shoe closet.”

He pretends to deliberate, before sealing the deal with a kiss. “Fine.”

(705 words, prompt: amicable breakup)

[inexplicablepeas]

So I realized that I never shared my Blood & Gold re-read thoughts due to shadow-ban issues on the old blog, thoughts under the cut! It's long!

It was interesting to read this immediately after TVA, it really highlighted Anne's talent for developing distinct voices for her characters as the two books are so different in structure and voice. Where TVA is fevered and rambling with tonnes of evocative metaphor this is logically ordered and somewhat detached. This has none of Lestat's conspiratorial chumminess interspersed with catastrophic existential crises, none of Louis' melancholy poeticism, we're just getting straight facts from Mr Marius . So Marius' voice is a bit drier than a lot of the other narrators in the chronicles but that does feel correct and it gives the book a bit of a cosier and more chill vibe than most of the other entries. It's like story time with Marius. 

It's interesting that this one isn't framed as a book being written for publication but as a quiet and private conversation between a lonely guy and a stranger who showed up on his door step happy to listen to him. I think that makes sense for Marius, he doesn't seem like he would publish his life story, he's too private and he would probably have been more tactful land less honest about certain things if it was for publication - less interesting for us!

You do still have to read a lot of his inner journey between the lines nonetheless. He's not really telling you how he was doing day to day after he abandoned Pandora entirely (following an argument about how to deal with the emerging cult of satan worshippers) then spent centuries in Rome pretending he wasn't dying for Avicus' (and Mael's?) company while letting partying mortals have run of his house as he painted the walls subconsciously with dozens of Pandora faces... but you can imagine, he's probably not feeling great!

It was fascinating to get more detail on how he was recruited to be keeper of the parents and to see his tense arms-length relationship with Mael play out over the years. Eudoxia is a great addition to the story as brief as her time in it is and getting his version of Armand's story is very welcome (and of course interesting to contrast with Armand's telling). Getting more Bianca was also welcome, she's such a big presence in TVA, I liked getting Marius' perspective there. 

I've got some of the same kind of complaints I had with TVA about what was left out. I guess that structuring a life story that spans millenia is no easy task and it's inevitable that some stuff is gonna get left out. Anne probably didn't want to rehash the same events form different perspectives over and over again but I really was disappointed that the narrative doesn't touch on his thoughts on his reunion with Armand in QotD, the brief Night Island coven times, how Daniel came to be in his care (???), his reaction to Armand's suicide attempt (!?), how was it that he and Santino ended up being the team on clean up duty together for that anyway (???), his reaction to learning that Armand was in fact alive(!) and his subsequent turning of Benji and Sybelle.

Marius:

And Pandora of course, I hadn't read her book at the time of reading this so I was disappointed about how little detail we get on the centuries they spent together. You can imagine his motivations for leaving a lot of this stuff out, it seems that some things are still too painful to talk about and he is also telling a specific story to a specific audience here (to influence a particular outcome, perhaps? *squints suspiciously at Marius*) so it makes sense for him to brush over or leave some things out entirely but it's not always the most satisfying result for a reader that's already invested in these characters and their stories.

The framing device with Thorne is great, I can't emphasize enough how immediately I fell in love with this guy, this stoic but sensitive viking titan of a vampire. I found the final chapter to be the most exciting really, I guess because where most of the story is Marius explaining from his perspective why he's alone (apart from Daniel who doesn't count because he's too obsessed with his model cities, sorry Daniel!), it's all a foregone conclusion where we're heading and we know what happens to most of the major characters but once we get back to Thorne's contemporary POV hey, anything can happen! And thanks to Thorne, stuff does happen! He's kind of the MVP of this book. We also get a teeny bit of Daniel in the framing chapters at the start of the book and hey, it's nice to see him alive and still sassy, if a little worse for wear.

Overall I find it a pretty enjoyable vampire chronicle. I do love the lore of Anne's vampire universe, how rich it is both with historical details and with her own world building and Marius is, of course, very key to it as guardian of the parents for millennia, so I do want to know everything about him and I'm glad this book was written to give us more of his story. His chronicle of his very lonely life, caused in no small part by his own stubbornness and terror of losing control is sad and often frustrating but I did find all of it a compelling read. He's a very strange guy and it really is fascinating to get more of his perspective, even if he doesn't quite have the zazz of a Lestat or the poetry of a Louis.

[flappingpussylips]

i hate that i can't use this account anymore, idk what i need to do to make this website feel fun to use again. i had one fucking post skyrocket to 6k notes overnight from 200 and now everything is fucking ruined. i've had to block what feels like 300 people the past few weeks. and if we're not mutuals you're still on thin fuckin ice

i think i need to unfollow a lot of the radfems on here too because i'm frankly sick of seeing the same shit 100x a day. never any new arguments or something refreshing. rehashing the same shit over and over again and just using ur blog to complain about men and trans people instead of actually figuring out ways to uplift women. so fucking boring. also i've realized how much some of yall straight and bi radfems hate lesbians. took me long enough

[chadillacboseman]

The Double Date

Summary: Notch (me), Ace, Blitz, and 404 (@glitchviper) go on a double date. 404 is not thrilled. Art by Quiddling. Just something short :)

--

"Try to smile, liebling," Elias nudges Wes as they approach the table on the far side of the room, "You look like I'm holding you at gun point."

"You might as well be," Wes snaps and he chuckles.

Håvard spots them first and waves enthusiastically, an enormous smile painting his face. Wes rolls her eyes. The two of them take their seats and Jaimie cocks an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Good to see you, Elias, Wes," Håvard nods his head in their direction, and Elias returns his smile. The two of them work well together, a fact that irritates Wes to no end.

She hates small talk, but the other three fill the silence well, chatting incessantly about work until their chatter becomes white noise in her ears. She feels like a big cat in a cage at some shithole zoo, watching passersby with the kind of rage-inducing boredom only someone with her high-wired brain could have.

Elias taps his knee against hers under the table and Wes crashes back into reality, catching Håvard in the middle of a colorful rehashing of a training exercise Harry had put them through. She realizes with a jolt that she's bent the fork she's holding while listening to their idle babble.

Across the table, Jaimie watches Wes- she knows her well enough to know that she's not enjoying herself. Her face remains the same stoic facade of boredom, but her eyes are different, predator-like. Elias must have really pulled out all the stops to convince her to come in the first place, she can only imagine how painfully boring this entire affair must be for her.

The food arrives just in time to shut Håvard up for longer than a minute as he shovels in the chicken wings on his plate. Wes picks at her burger and Elias tears into his steak. Rare. Might as well still be mooing.

Then through some twisted fate administered by a God who clearly hates her, Wes is left alone with Håvard as Elias and Jaimie both head to the bathroom. She basks in the silence for a moment until he interrupts it.

"I know you don't like me," Håvard pauses to lick the sauce from one of his fingers as he speaks. How observant.

"What gives you that impression?" Wes doesn't look up at him.

"Everything," he gestures vaguely at her and her mouth twitches. He's stupid, but not blind. She says nothing in return.

"But I do love Jaimie-" he continues and Wes finally looks up from her plate.

"Where is this going, Haugland?" she sighs impatiently, and silently wishes that Elias would hurry the hell up.

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Wes exhales through her nose just as Jaimie drops into her seat across the table and bumps her shoulder against Håvard's affectionately. Elias is close behind and gives Wes' knee an apologetic squeeze as he takes his seat.

The rest of the date is uneventful, but Jaimie can sense an odd tension in the air. Silently, she wonders what words were exchanged while she was in the bathroom. She knows Wes couldn't be bothered to get in any kind of argument with Håvard, but that doesn't mean that his big mouth didn't run in her absence.

Of course, Håvard insists on paying, always putting on a show, much to Jaimie's chagrin. As they make their exit, she turns to him, her brows knitted low over her eyes.

"What happened while I was in the bathroom?"

Håvard shrugs, "I told her I knew she didn't like me."

"That's not true!" Jaimie swats at his shoulder and he shoots her a dubious look.

"She does not like me, elskling."

He's right, and she knows it.

Wes has no patience for his constant social media posts, his loud voice, or his incessant need to be liked. If it weren't for Jaimie, she'd have throttled him the second she got the opportunity.

In Elias' car, Wes stares out the window at the passing street lights that flick by in hues of burnt orange. Elias glances over at her, but she's lost in pensive thought.

"We don't have to do it again," he offers with a smile.

"You couldn't pay me to do it again."

"I know you don't like him, but you like Jaimie, don't you?" Elias cocks an eyebrow and Wes sighs deeply.

"You know I do."

"Then just tolerate him, hm? For Jaimie." he offers her a bargain, one she's not sure she can uphold her end of.

"Fine."

[strangefellows]

excuse me for a moment while i go on a little rant about my limbus theory under a cut (and untagged because fandom scares me) bc i went on this rant earlier to a friend i want to post it

So one of the biggest complaints I've seen people have with the Dante-is-Ayin theory is that it's "bad writing to repeat the twist from the first game" and objectively, yes, but that's not what they're doing at ALL and I've said it before and I'll say it until I'm blue in the face. It's actually giving Ayin a chance to be a character with agency, and give him closure/a real ending.

Like. Okay. In Lobcorp. he has NO actual dialogue beyond player choices sometimes - which we know doesn't count thanks to games like Persona who have similar arguments about their PCs - and we never see his face until the very last Day of the game....and it's not even really 'him' it's basically his shadow talking to him! And even the flashbacks are almost certainly narrated by that shadow rather than the X/A we're playing as. Not to mention the amnesia for the first half of the game; and even after he remembers they call him A rather than X -- and we don't even get his full name until the very last lines of the game.

And let's be real here, I think it's very telling of his lack of agency that the last lines are "Your name is Ayin. Now close your eyes and fade away."

As he disappears into the Light he just spent the entire game generating.

Left on its own, and especially with the entirety of Ruina giving Angela closure and a place to overcome her trauma and issues, it's grievously unfair.

When half the plot of the game is Ayin helping save and guide the people in hell with him into closure and moving forward-- what does he get? Someone else telling him to fade away his role is over bye.

He doesn't get to get that closure and forgiveness and chance to move on that Angela does! He spends the whole game acting on someone else's last wish, someone else's dream, trying to save the people he'd condemned to hell and make up for his actions, and then he doesn't get to be saved with them.

He has no voice, no face, barely a name. No agency -- everything he does in Lobcorp is because of Carmen's wishes. Everything we hear about him is from the perspective of other people, and incredibly biased; even the flashbacks aren't from the POV of the X/A we're playing as but the 'shadow' (mirror self? haha looks at yi sang) from Day 50.

And more than that -- we don't know Ayin outside of Carmen. We don't know anything about his life before he met her. We don't know who he is, what he likes, what he wanted, what he studied, what he did before her. Everything Ayin has been in this series so far is from the lens of someone else. (So any theory tying him to Demian - even if Demian isn't related to Enoch, which is still possible - can still apply; because we don't know him outside Carmen, there could very well be a tie from before then.)

So Dante's faceless, voiceless nature, how they're just kind of forced into the situation they're in and how they're slowly gaining their own agency and deciding on their own will what kind of person they are and what they want to do, from their own perspective, as they seek to regain their voice and face and Self...

It's perfect.

It's not "bad writing" at all. It's like that quote from George Lucas: “Again, it’s like poetry, so that they rhyme. Every stanza kind of rhymes with the last one.” It's poetry.

A mirror of the first game, not a rehash of the same twist, a continuation of the story of the one character who never got his ending, who was never allowed to be a character, a person, who was never given his own choices on his own will, who was never given the opportunity for closure and moving on everyone else got. It's Ayin's chance for an ending, a real ending, one he's allowed to make with his own hands for himself. Face the sins and all that.

[Sits back with my 90+ page evidence document and sighs.]

[druckkugelschreiber]

I would like to read something about Artemis ❤️

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

Artemis is a The Old Guard OC (cause you know what else am I writing recently ^^) and she is an immortal on Andy's team (though the on team status is actually up for debate) and old enough to be the inspiritation for the goddess Artemis.

She, Andy, Quyhn and Lykon were a polycule for a long time until Lykon dies and Quynh is lost, due to the unfortunate circumstances around the witch trials.

Andy and Artemis have a major falling out over the whole thing because Artemis murders a lot of people in rage and desperation.

Their story picks up again in the 21st century, when Nile as a new immortal shows up and forces Artemis and Andy to interact again after 600 years of not seeing each other. Artemis helps the team and maybe she and Andy can reconnect. Who knows!

A snippet of their reunion below!

I entered my house. Ril was already asleep on his perch in my office. I spotted him easily through the open door. The windows were almost always open, except when there was a major storm rolling in. 

I let out a long breath, pulled out my hair tie and began undoing the complicated braid in a style this world hadn’t seen in millenia. 

“Still with the fancy braids?” an all too familiar voice said. 

I nearly jumped high enough to hit my head on the ceiling. “Zeus fucking balls!” My eyes found Andromache in the dark of the living room. A couple of the braids now fell into my face, while the others were braided along my skull. “How did you get in here?”

“You think I don’t know all the tricks you taught your huntresses?” Andy said and it sounded very ominous. 

I let my hands drop from my half undone braids and threw her a wary glance in the near pitchblack living room. Only moonlight fell in from the outside. “You know, you’re very badass assassin in that corner. Mind some light?”

Andy reached over and turned on the soft wall lights. “Better your grace?” she mocked. 

My heart tensed. My stomach coiled. Our argument from 600 years ago replayed in my mind, like it always did when I was feeling low, but now I felt like all the walls I had build around my heart, the stitches I had put in the cracks, Andy just tore them all open again, but 4000 years had taught me a couple of things. Mainly a good pokerface. “Actually, it’s ‘my lady’ or ‘high lady’ or ‘lady Artemis’ you may pick and choose.”

“Where’s the new one?” Andy’s voice was dark and threatening. 

“That’s why you’re here?” I couldn’t say I was surprised. “Actually probably helped you find me, right?”

“Artemis, I’ve known you for 4000 fucking years and you’ve never abandoned this temple.” 

Again fair point. “Yeah, I’m kind of bad at staying hidden from people who saw me grow up apparently.” I fought the urge to step closer. “Why do you care so much about the new one?”

Andy’s eyes were as cold as a winter’s sky. It was always fascinating how they changed colour with her moods. How laughter put all the green back in them and anger made them ice blue. “Maybe I care about what you’ll make of her. You really think the world needs another you?”

I swallowed hard. My jaw tensed. “You really want to rehash that particular argument?” 

“No, I told you what I want”, Andy stood up from the armchair and slowly walked over to me. 

I took half a step back before I could stop myself. But Andy didn’t stop. She reached out to take one thin braid between her fingers, twirling it softly, the strand almost the same colour as the moonlight. 

“So, are you going to tell me?” Andy said softly but somehow not any less threatening, “or do I have to test quite how good your huntresses are?”

My eyes flew over Andy’s face. I fought the fear. Mostly fear for what she’d do to my emotions rather than fear for her attacking me. Even back then, after I had lost myself in rage and blood, she had never attacked me with more than words, but those had stung deeper than any weapon as I had found out soon enough.

[papirouge]

what is it about your posts that makes people turn their eyeballs and brains off and not read them before sending you some stupid reply lmao. your post about trauma wasn't even saying whatever those dudes thought it said; every now and again I forget people who can't read use tumblr and then stuff like that slaps me back into reality. tragic

anyway Papi, hope you're doing well, wish people would chill out before choosing to try and get into some stupid internet argument with you :v

jejskwkzififi

The same thing happened on my post dunking on white conservative pitting minorities against each other. My regular followers 'got it' and liked it, but shortly after a whole flock of rando took offense of it for whatever reason and wouldn't stop shoving their unasked opinion💀

I really wish Tumblr had a followers/mutual only reblogs because I refuse to have to deal with idiots misconstructing my takes bc of whatever they project onto it.

They did the same with the post you're talking about. Like yeah you might disagree and think psychology is a big dal, good for you. But their behavior just proved my point even further and that this whole 'i need to reflect on my trauma uwu' thing I the proof that psychology makes people unecessary self centered and emotionally immature. You guys are spending YEARS in therapy yet can't deal with a blog post hurting your feefees.... 🥴

Acknowledging your trauma is one thing and does help, but you actual have to put it up to JESUS instead of rehashing it for years to a psychiatrist you're not even sure is Christian. Plentiful of biblical characters did messed up thing that would possibly scar them for life (both Moses and David assassinated a man, Paul oppressed Christians before becoming one himself, Peter had to deal with the guilt of betraying Jesus to his death, etc.) and yet God still assigned to them ministries where they had to get over themselves and actively work for the Lord and for others. They didn't spend years whining and complaining about their past and using it as an excuse for their shortcomings. Apostleship is a very selfless ministry.

God is good and always give a time for us to mourn and weep, but once it done, we have to get back on our feet and WORK. Lord provided food & water to Elie during his exile when he was begging to die 💀 and then he went on 40 days in the desert... Do you think he got access to therapy in the desert to overcome his suicidal thoughts?

Stop looking at the past and stick to the present and how we can be useful for the Lord. Modern psychology makes us self centered and stuck in the past, and that's the opposite of what God wants from us. He told Lot to not turn back. It's a very strong symbolism that isn't compatible with past obsessed trauma psychology.

[the-mercurial-star-o-vesper]

MGSV - The Boss

There are many debates, arguments and analysis regarding Metal Gear Solid V, and how it pertains to Big Boss’s final descent into villainy.

And how it doesn’t, or how its a little late to the party on Big Boss’s villainous nature.

But what if I said, that it actually does do as described, but we simply missed it?

Its about here where you expect, “Oh but we’ve not been playing as the real Big Boss, its just his double!” And yep, not doubting you there, we’ve been screaming it since the game came out. It can’t seemingly be about Big Boss’s descent if we haven’t been playing Big Boss.

And maybe about here, you expect, “But Big Boss already descended into villainy far earlier!”, and well, yeah to that too. Kidnapping and Brainwashing Soldiers, recruiting Child Soldiers, building a Metal Gear, lying about having Nukes... Yep, yep, yep.

But lemme tell you what we missed.

MGS:V... is about the Boss’s Virtuous Mission, in reverse.

Everything regarding Venom Snake’s story both prior and during MGS:V mirror the Boss herself. Its a step by step rehash of her story, through the eyes of someone who never met her (though probably knew of her).

From the traumatic brain injury (Boss received it on mission / Venom received it protecting Big Boss), to being in a literal explosion on a failed mission (Boss and the Mercury Project / Venom and the attack of MSF and the failure to save Paz).

To the resentment from close allies (Boss and the CIA / Venom and Kaz and other surviving MSF).

... to giving up everything they ever stood for, to someone / something that continued to screw them over time and time again. (Boss and the US / Venom and Big Boss). Ultimately resulting in their death (Boss and MGS3 / Venom and the first Metal Gear game).

The reason this is Big Boss’s descent into true villainy, is that no matter his honey’d words to us in the end... He effectively put Venom through the same thing the Boss herself was put through-- Big Boss became the very entity that he resented in tricking him for pulling the trigger on the Boss.

That, is his descent into villainy.

We were simply seeing it from the perspective of the Used.

ADDENDUM: - Parallel narrative implications would say that the Boss didn’t resent being used, just as Venom didn’t resent it. They both had all the power in the world to back out, and then didn’t. Perhaps this wasn’t necessarily loyal to a nation or cause, but simply Loyalty to Themselves. That by their Will, they needed to see this through.

- Just as Venom, the Boss saw no need to stop the mission because of injury.

- And just as the Boss, Venom probably felt that he had “ nothing left inside [him] now. Nothing at all. No hatred, not even regret.” And as the game tells us about Phantom Pains, he likely can “still feel the pain creeping up inside... Slithering through [his] body, like a snake.”

- Its probably because of these parallels that Ocelot isn’t quite as theatrical or hostile to Venom as he would be to others. Ocelot doesn’t even end up betraying Venom at all, where in any other game Ocelot definitely betrays his “Boss”.

- The inclusion of Parasites seems off, just as MGS4′s Nanomachines are, but they are telling us how the Cobra Unit did everything (mostly). There is a chance that missions Venom was sent on, were purposeful in mimicking missions the Cobras were sent on, which were “Snatch” missions and “Black Ops” so terrible that the Cobras had quite a bit of infamy. ... Funnily enough, same with most of the story of MGS:V.

- A Cobra is a Venomous Snake.

[azulas-daddy-kink]

(bi man anon) thank you for answering! it's horrible that both of us, and certainly many other bi people, have to go through this treatment just to exist in fandom spaces as ourselves.

you certainly did nothing wrong with the azula post. it was properly tagged and didn't cross tag into actual ships. it's just how the biphobes are. when i was younger, i had once tried to run a blog not engaging in discourse but simply supporting headcanons, and i still constantly got hateful messages and threats for going against 'canon' even though they all but had to go out of their way to find my blog, if i remember right i hadn't even maintagged anything. it's long since deleted by now though, and i never saved any receipts, so take it with a grain of salt i suppose. needless to say, i understand your story and i believe you acted rationally. the one who brought it back up after you de-escalated and left the conversation was incredibly childish and seems to be a reoccurring situation in general with this type of thing.

i do wonder how much of it is tied into other discourses, i most frequently see this kind of behavior with antis. i wouldn't be surprised at all if some proshippers did the same. there's a lot to be said in general about exclusionism and the treatment of bi folk (many gay people wish for us to water ourselves down to nothing more than gay and lesbian, just with a different word. seems to lineup a lot with anti-aro/ace and forcing nonbinary people into binaries ie transmasc or transfem, denying the existence of transneutrality and pressuring them into outing themselves, or the usage of amab and afab in casual discussion rather than medical contexts or other cases where it's actually relevant) a lot of it all seems to circle right back into radfem ideology. unfortunately, a prevalent ideology even in fandom spaces.

thank you, again, for sharing one of your stories. i have never harassed anyone either, over anything, much less headcanons. it seems incredibly common that people will take someone disagreeing with their headcanon as a personal attack. you can say you don't mind a lesbian or gay headcanon, but prefer a bi one, and people will still get mad. it's unfortunate. thankfully, we have stubborn bi people who'll hold their ground even through the harassment and poor treatment. i hope you'll hold tight onto your bi azula headcanon, and every other bi headcanon you have. i'll be doing the same for mine.

Hey, nice to hear from you again! I was honestly more than happy to make that post, and I'm especially glad that my experience and the way I handled these things was validated.. I'm always made to feel like I'm doing something wrong by reacting accordingly to the disrespect, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that either.

I really think that you're absolutely right in some of these other points you brought up. Namely it being a common theme in online spaces now that people are just plain immature and rehash arguments for no reason... but also I think you're onto something about this tying into other types of discourse, and certainly aphobia and enbyphobia as well. These types of discrimination (biphobia, aphobia, enbyphobia) are pretty socially acceptable, sadly, even in queer or majority queer fandom spaces... it sucks. And we're not the only ones who've noticed it either.

You're also 100% right about people in general treating disagreement like a personal attack. You say you have a different headcanon and they act like you ran over their dog -__-

Anyways, feel free to send asks any time, I think it's important to talk about this stuff! And I'll be holding onto my bi Azula headcanon as well, they can pry it from my cold dead hands<3

[gascon-en-exil]

I was reading a political article and it was describing a term called the "exhaustive majority" i.e the group of people who are tired of the polarization going on in the US, and I think "exhaustive majority" is a good term to describe a decent chunk of the FE fandom especially in the aftermath of 3H; they're tried of the constant mudslinging and harassment for having opinions on fiction and ships, they're tired of the overexposure, they're tired of people pushing the idea that opinions on fiction = opinions on real life, they're just tired. And honestly that's probably why some people see Engage as a breath of fresh air and a sorta return to form.

I'm not sure if those are quite equivalent. While I've never kept up with that sort of thing I'd wager that that term is being used to describe people who aren't interested in politics to begin with and see any sort of political discourse or action as distracting them from whatever it is that they care about. This is hardly a new thing, or unique to any particular country or culture. I'd consider the fandom equivalent to be those people who consume media but then don't go online and talk about it or otherwise get involved in any sort of community surrounding that media.

Judging by how general gamer YouTube channels talk about Three Houses when they're recommending games or ranking them or whatever, it would seem that the majority of players are unaware of (or simply don't care about) how controversial the game has been in online circles and how it's led to so much combative fandom drama. Those praising Engage for being more straightforward and lending itself to less emotionally-charged subjects for argument - gameplay min-maxing, character tier lists, pointing out the odd choices made by the localization etc. - are those who've lived through the years of discourse and are probably tired of them not because they didn't care but because it dominated the conversation surrounding FE16 and crowded out almost everything else for over three years. If you spend any length of time in online fandom you'll know that arguing over things that ultimately don't matter is one of the foundational pillars of the internet, so I read it as more exhaustion over the same tired wank being reheated over and over with nothing new being added (except when Three Hopes came out, but that only prolonged the same discourse) but with all parties becoming ever more aggressive and the fandom becoming even more sharply divided over opinions that we'd all basically formed back in 2019.

I've actively participated in discourse myself, both criticism and analysis of the games themselves and fending off trolls and other bad faith actors from multiple corners, but after about a year of that I grew bored of the same topics being rehashed over and over again and basically only joined in when prompted. It's been great to finally have something new to talk about, even if I still prefer Three Houses to Engage overall.

[sincerely-krp]

hi admin! i do think this should sit on the blog till you post things tomorrow, because i think people should take this into account when giving feedback!

i feel like a lot of you are privileged to never have been on the receiving end of enough krp hate that you have to personally reach out to a vent blog in the hopes that you can persuade them to hear your case and not let people shit on you public.

which, that's honestly awesome, and good for you. i hope you never have to.

but i'm telling you right now, to try and argue that it's better for random fucking krpers to make toxic fucking blogs once a year like clockwork as opposed to having one place we all know this shit is gonna go to, which is run by admins that i can personally vouch for aren't inherently malicious, is a weak fucking argument.

imagine what happens when new blogs are made: everyone runs to them to rehash the same shit that's been going on. people unlucky like me have to then sit there and pray that we don't get trashed on a vent blog all over again. or that we can convince a vent blog admin, it's not that fucking easy.

as for bias in the results, it's really simple. if you contact sincerely because of something, and vents show up about you later, they dm you personally and give you 24 hours to try and disprove it because they don't need to post it to the blog, they know a party involved. in my case it would take way longer but i communicated with them and they were pretty responsive, not posting anything till i could get them what they needed.

then i adminned a krp and dmed sincerely pretty much immediately. lo and behold, shit tried to get spread, but they gave me time to explain the situation, and nothing was posted. the 24 hour rule applies privately too, but so much fucking harm is reduced just by them not being bitchy and toxic people inherently. we talk about krps closing down all the time because of vent blogs, but my krp, and probably the krps you think about when you think about which ones didn't get bashed, are STILL HERE because of this blog, and everything they do behind the scenes.

does it fucking suck that a vent blog is being given so much power and influence? yes, but they have time and time again been blunt about what it would take for vent blogs to no longer have credit. you guys keep missing the mark. it's not about stopping other vent blogs. it's about discrediting the opinions all together. who would trust people venting on a blog when verified reviews paint a complete different picture? when a directory that gives admins a chance to fix things comes out and says that admin abuse did go on, racism did occur, favoritism did occur, etc.?

the proof on this blog under the #proof tag would still be valid obviously, but the regular vents wouldn't be. and yeah, people will probably still shit on krps here, but it would still be moderated, and if sincerely closed and more toxic places opened up, then the opinion would still mean NOTHING compared to the database we would have from a credible place. i get everyone's frustration. but do the fucking work. review a krp you're in right now. if you're an admin, encourage your writers to do so too. idk how much we can trust krp-verse admins, but the fact that if they abuse their power there are people who will doxx them is enough for me to feel safe about it. plus, is it really better to trust a vent blog because the opposite is unfamiliar?

lastly, it's not bias for sincerely to use harm reduction techniques. but it results in them having to overcompensate on these blogs because people call those measures bias and interference but turn around and bitch when sincerely doesn't do enough of it. so think about what you're asking for. really think about it. listen to the people who come forward about how things are behind the scenes here. there's so much that gets missed.

・❥・

[helieosphere]

Kei’s yearly 2023 retrospective

cw: long, mostly positive vibes, gender stuff

Since twitlonger is dead I have to move my yearly thought wrap up to tumblr! Which tbh is better for these kinds of posts anyways.

HIIIII welcome to a post I’ve stared making since I had my first cosplay instagram (which doesn’t exist anymore-) in which I just kinda reflect on the year and look forward into the future. Basic stuff! Overall, this exercise has been a welcomed gratitude lesson and has maintained it ever since over three platforms now.

So, 2023…what was up?

I have nothing but positive things to say about the year overall for my own personal self. This was the most personal growth I’ve had in any given year for the better. I took risks, I stuck my neck out there and was rewarded. I’ve met a number of amazing people who all inspire me in some shape or form and I’ve gotten much closer to the people who’ve remained in my life. I’ve become my own person and I couldn’t of said that represents me accurately for any other year prior to this even if I tried. That being said, before going into my gratitudes, I wanna acknowledge that overall 2023 was a crappy year. Like Jesus the world is on FIRE and I’m exhausted of rehashing the same arguments OVER AND OVER again but I’ve remain steadfast and I’m glad I have the privilege to find peace in chaos rn despite what life threw at me which is probably why my takeaway is relatively good things and wanting to look forward.

Anyways…the good stuff and my thank yous!

this year was the year I fully realized my gender identity. I didn’t really feel confident in who I was as kei, this little guy who was just fucking around for so many years, aimlessly, without a goal in mind. But as I got accepted to do my own research, took some gender studies courses, I kinda realized where my heart lies and how honest I had to be with myself in order to feel at peace with my own body. Sure, I still have dysphoria and damn, I dealt with a lot of misgendering and transphobia this year. It will never be eradicated and never will be until the day I die. But this year was the best case of me willing to live my life authentically and letting myself be free despite these challenges. I’ve always had issues of people pleasing and wanting to always put my best foot forward but that led to major empathy burnout. And, although I’m not completely free of my bad habits, I’ve learned to exhaust my energy more sustainably and have loosened up. I’ve become sillier, more outgoing, more assertive, more creative—you name it. This all was possible through the support systems I’ve maintained and developed in 2023.

Firstly, my partner. What to say? Idk, I say a lot to him already and so I’ll just briefly gush. He is the shining beacon of my life. He is the most stable part that I’ve always been able to lean on for support and care. He has helped me through so much, and knowing he’s there lighting up a pathway to the safest point forward has been something that has helped me tremendously. I’m not sure words can accurately describe how much he does for me, especially considering our distance, but I’ve never met someone more patient and passionate about what he loves. He has so much care put into the things he’s willing to make the effort for and has been an all too willing victim to my crazy ideas. He is my biggest cheerleader, and I could not have become the person I am today with his unwavering love and support. He has LITERALLY dealt with the worst of me (high school) so honestly pls just give him props for that alone.

Secondly, my roommates turned NEW CONVENTION GROUP! They’ve become so very into cons and cosplaying with me it’s cute. In turn. I’ve become a K-pop Stan so idk equal trade off? They’ve taught me to be unapologetically myself and to never settle for second best. I was very nervous moving to California alone with no existing support system but they’ve taught me to love it. Besides that, we’ve just experienced a lot of new things together and throughout it, have found each other waiting at the other side wanting to do more and push each other to be the best and worst people we can possibly be. They inspire me to no end and I’m glad I’ve got this other layer of safety I feel comfortable being myself in. Thanks, y’all are the best and I can’t wait for more cons with you in the future.

Third, everyone who I had the pleasure of meeting at a con AKA new mutuals. Hi! I get really nervous to reach out to new people but I wanted to speak on how much these positive interactions with people have really carried my confidence forward. Although I just gassed myself up for being more outgoing, I still struggle to feel comfortable enough to reach out to ANYONE because of insecurities I have about reading social cues and assumptions of good will being taken advantage of. It’s something I’m working on! But geez, thanks to the cosplay community—more specifically the ffxiv community—for reigniting my love for crafting and cons in general. Im for one super happy I even made the decision to start yotsuyu and finish her for fanfest because she’s a labor of love that got me to be bold enough to GET ON A STAGE and perform a fun little skit despite my stage fright. I now know so many COOL CRAFTERS and AWESOME PEOPLE who are absolutely incredible at what they do and have been nothing but nice to me :( seriously, can’t thank y’all enough. This game has given me so many wonderful interactions that Im just full of it. I don’t really like my yotsuyu as there is SO MUCH WRONG about it’s construction that I can’t really get over also because I absolutely got in over my head but I’m grateful people seemed to love it anyways and I’ve come to both ground myself as a crafter but also know I can always improve with time and that I have gotten so much better. EXCITED TO SEE YALL NEXT FANFEST, ANOTHER CON, WHATEVER! I do hope we all can cross paths again! Special shout-out to my fanfest roommate who was willing to travel to Vegas with someone whom he’s never met before irl and have the best time with me. We really bonded and he’s the reason why i was able to unpack a lot of my insecurities and basically be the best version of myself. Seeing eorzea symphony live was life changing and it’ll be an unforgettable night in my memory for the foreseeable future. Cons were the highlight bar none and I am already painstakingly working on another cosplay rn because I wanna push myself and I’m full of inspiration beans. Cons have been a really huge beacon of light during my roughest moments (especially this year) so I do hope this good track continues to surprises me more and inspire me to do better and better with my cosplays for the foreseeable future.

Lastly, a short note for my static. Idk if I need to keep talking about then from year to year but they’re like my second family and although we’ve had a rough time this year, I still am glad I was able to meet them and stick through it. Seriously, they make me happy even if my love for savage raiding got killed because of abyssos…I might not make it another year just cause my life is dramatically changing in 2024 and time is SO SPARSE but I hope I can still make time :) weirdly the second most stable part of my life but hey, it’s cool I’m able to still say that.

Other things that touched me this year was finishing my thesis, my internship that taught me I can age beautifully as a trans person, concerts, my MOTION GRAPHICS JOB??

I honestly have a lot more to say but my hand is getting tired of typing so I’m ending it here. I hope shit is able to get so much better from here for all of us cause goddamnit we really need it. But I’m glad I could reflect on the things that kept me sane because sometimes that’s all I really need to keep on chugging along in life.

Happy 2024 y’all!

[thealexchen]

If I have to be honest, Life is Strange True Colors fandom is the least toxic fandom of them all. Everyday, I keep seeing the same arguments from the LisSubreddit and Listwt, usually by the same group of people (whom I won't name - chances are, they might be on tumblr too and could be reading this too). Such as ship wars, which are the best endings, and let alone same insults everyday like "max flopfield" or listwt starting shit and being triggered over petty reasons or over nothing. But this is what happens when you're in the small fandom dedicating to Life is Strange, I know we're all desperate for new contents. So am I, but why use the same takes that'll cause unintentional or unnecessary drama for the sake of something new? I miss the old days when we're only writing fanfictions, drawing fanarts, or coming up with ADORKABLE headcanons :(

I get what you mean, and you’re right. The lack of new content means that old discussion (more like argument topics) get rehashed over and over. Social media like Twitter and Reddit tend to create their own echo chamber as the loudest voices drown out more nuanced takes and those people become too discouraged to continue (I unsubscribed from the LiS subreddit ages ago and I never go on Twitter). But nostalgia can be deceiving; the fanbase was more active in 2015 so there was more fanfiction and fanart, but on the flip side the ship wars were at their worst and LiS1 was the subject of awful online vitriol just because the protagonist was a teen girl. I still remember the downright nasty Pricefield vs. Amberprice ship wars in 2017 and the relentless hate (and racist reactions, but I won’t go there rn) that LiS2 got in 2018. Nowadays it’s like LiS2 never existed and it bums me out, even if my feelings on the game have soured since 2018.

But I’m gonna change the subject, because I was so interested in your wording “the true colors fandom,” because I think that’s a larger issue within LiS: the internal divisions within the series and the separate “mini fandoms” for each game. It’s sadly true that fans of LiS1 are rarely also fans of 2 because there’s so little overlap. This series has has a weird trajectory from the beginning, because it’s clear that LiS1 was always meant to be a small standalone story that achieved runaway success and spawned a prequel by another studio, and then DN suddenly had to figure out how to turn LiS into an anthology series. But the very specific, unique, and unprecedented (for its time) style and cultural impact that LiS1 had simply cannot be replicated twice. As it stands, the dead parents, queer characters, supernatural elements, and indie soundtrack simply aren’t enough to keep these games feeling cohesive and like they are set in the same universe. And as such, they never attract the same fans back to the next game. Not to mention the spin-off content has been kind of lukewarm: I stopped reading the comics and it seems like everyone does not want the TV adaptation to happen.

Adding onto this, discussions about TC fizzled out disappointingly fast because it’s a shorter game with a safer, more conventional plot. The characters and main ships are the least problematic than they’ve ever been, the game is almost squeaky clean with its political correctness, and the choices are never controversial. The thing is, that leaves almost no room for discussion. I think Alex’s parents had a lot of potential for their choices and how they affected their children, for example, but they’re barely in the game. TC kind of reminds me of Tell Me Why, actually: a very safe, careful, small game that was meaningful in the moment but one that people move on from quickly.

Anyway, thanks for sending this message, it’s nice to have a LiS-related ask again.