#how am i supposed to go on with my life after this
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What gets me is... yeah. The Biden administration aided and abetted Israeli war crimes. Because that's been standard US policy since before I was born. Yeah, that's evil. Yeah, we should stand up against it.
Refusing to vote for Harris was not standing against Israeli or US war crimes. The only way it could have been was if there had been a better viable option.
If you understand that your average national level Democrat politician is morally bankrupt because that's how all US politics works, you should also understand that they have far less to fear from a loss than your marginalized neighbors. You're not sending a message that they feel obliged to listen to. In fact, they'll use your failure to vote as an excuse not to care about your policy opinions. There was no beneficial practical effect. Voting alone wouldn't have solved our problems, but it would have helped prevent this worst case scenario, and nothing about the act of voting would have prevented you from taking other non-electoral action. The ceasefire would have occurred regardless- the US didn't make that happen, though Netanyahu did likely delay it specifically to benefit Trump- and Trump will absolutely, energetically support future aggression against Palestinians. Meanwhile, the people who would have been your allies in continued, effective efforts to change US policy are instead going to be spending that time and energy on trying not to die (or be enslaved in fucking immigrant labor camps).
And, just as a small aside, violent antisemitism in the rest of the world strengthens Israel's position that its own violence is a necessary evil. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if even staunchly antizionist US Jews wind up fleeing to Israel because the only alternative is dying here.
Not a single life was saved by your inaction. Thousands will die for it. I'll probably be one of them. You were willing to throw my life away for nothing. How am I supposed to trust you after that?
This is so funny now im seeing people talking abt "imperfect allies" and how we can't afford recriminations and "i told you so"s and how we need to really come together and build community now.
It's too little too late. Oh NOW we want to talk abt imperfect allies, when earlier you called me a zionist cunt who deserves to die for DARING to suggest that kamala would be a better president for marginalized people in this country? NOW we need to look past differences and embrace our shared humanity?
No. You just need my labor again, you just need black and jewish and women and trans labor to do all the hard work of building a backbone of aid and solidarity again, because you're feeling the loneliness and vulnerability of a fractured, losing movement.
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Lucid Submission - chapter 3
Synopsis: Sukuna Ryomen is reborn as a human being as punishment for ruining the balance of good and evil in the divine realm. To lift his curse and return to his original form, the former demon king must complete the condition bestowed upon him by the deities. Except it can only be done by having a child with the street thief who stole his coin pouch.
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You couldn’t bring yourself to sleep that night. You could feel each tired vein in your eyelids latching on to every bit of rest they could get every time you blinked. You looked down and cursed yourself for being so fearfully compliant with your new husband. His heavy arms encased around you like he was sure you would run away.
He chuffed like a stallion every time he snored into your neck, terrifying you to your core as you tried to make as much space between yourselves as possible. Of course, your efforts were in vain as he made sure that you would not be able to move an inch while lying next to him. Much too paranoid about his ‘pearl disappearing.’
The rest of the day after the wedding was dull. Uraume had left with Sukuna for some urgent merchant business (apparently, he controlled many ports around the area), while Yuuji and Megumi went to train little children at a local school. Nobara wasn’t much of a conversationalist, only choosing to observe you–possibly to see how you could plan to escape.
Your life as a thief wasn’t as exciting as being a rich wife, but at least you had the repugnant thrill of constant aversion. All the riches that came with being Sukuna Ryomen’s wife made you cautious, like your new comfortable lifestyle would be snatched away as soon as you got used to it.
But it wasn’t like you planned to stay that long anyway. Any kind of freedom was going to be better than staying as an egotistical rich man’s wife–a life so suffocating and mundane that even the poor wouldn’t dare dream of living it.
The claustrophobia was now in its final course of setting into the core of your chest. You scratched and slapped the arms that held you, hoping for some kind of relief. Mental or physical. Sukuna grunted and simply turned, taking you with him. Your body now splayed on top of his, arms holding you still against his chest as your face mushed against his collarbone. His scent enveloped you even more, now becoming the air you breathed. If you didn’t crave worldly freedom so much, you would’ve held your breath and surrendered to a supposed afterlife.
“Lord Sukuna, I wish to ask you something,” you mumbled into his neck. The man didn’t even let out a grumble of acknowledgment. “I also cannot breathe.”
Your husband yawned loudly as he mumbled incoherent words. The deep rumble in his chest managed to jolt you like you were a feeble doe. Legs quivering and heart racing. He wasn’t much different from an animal, either. A monstrous bear, tiger, or any uncomfortably large and loud beast would suit him best.
He rolled you back down to the mat you two were sleeping on. However, before you could get up and finally breathe air that didn’t smell like herbs and possibly blood, the man rolled on top of you, pressing his heavy frame on your body. You were afraid that he would be able to feel your racing heart with the way his chest pressed flat against yours. At least his eyes were closed, so he couldn’t see your sheer terror.
“You must take me for a fool if you think that I am falling for your little thief tricks. Lying and scheming are your forte, are they not?”
“Lord Sukuna, please, let your wife at least live for a few days before killing her. It will give you more satisfaction,” you quipped, prideful even during your panicky state. His eyes squinted as he stared down at you.
“Tongue still sharp as ever, even in the dead of the night. Had I been in my former glory, you would not have been so quick to reply like that.”
“My sharp tongue comes with my body that you have forcefully married.” His tired red eyes rolled at your response. “What is it that you wished to ask me, wife?” You try not to shiver at his reference to you.
“I wish to… relief myself.”
He silently blinked at you before groaning and pulling out a small pebble from underneath his side of the tatami mattress. He threw it across the room, hitting the paper sheet of the sliding door. Curious, you frowned at the sound of slight rustling outside your room.
The door slid open to a grimacing Nobara. “At least warn me before I see something like this.” You could see her blench as she rubbed her eyes.
You gasped as you pushed your husband off, who was now more compliant with you. You yanked the covers off you and threw them at your husband, who was lying with his arms across his face. “You are lucky I am tired, wife.”
Your chest ached slightly when you saw the tatami mattress right outside your bedroom door. Your years of hardship may have turned you a little selfish, but you still had a heart. It felt like seeing a bleary-eyed little sister waiting for you after your long journey.
“Were you cold?” you asked as you followed her out to the water closet. “I have not felt even the chill of spring nights under the care of Master Sukuna,” she responds curtly.
You stop in your tracks, and so does she. The snow blankets everything—all your thoughts, worries, and concerns. “I do not actually want to go to the water closet. I just wished myself a moment. If it is possible, can we sit outside for a few minutes?”
It felt strange asking someone younger for permission, but you let it slide. It’s not like living as a thief made you a stickler for the rules. “Few minutes.” She walks you back to the estate’s courtyard, and you both sit side by side, covered in warm robes, watching the snowfall. The large cherry tree in the middle of the courtyard was now almost entirely white.
You didn’t expect any kind of camaraderie from Nobara. Your cases were wildly different–you were a ratty and uncivilized thief picked off the street to be Sukuna Ryomen’s wife, while Nobara was a uniformed…soldier. To be quite honest, you weren’t sure what to refer to her as. Her skills as a fighter were too sharp for her to be called a simple maid.
There was something more to her; you were sure of it. Her tone was too harsh to be a nobleman or aristocrat’s daughter–perhaps a merchant’s daughter. Her taste in clothes was great, and her sword’s sheath was of impeccable craftsmanship. Even an austere like you could tell.
You wondered if someone had taught her all these things. She sure looked like she was well-loved as a child. So were you, but there was always a chronic emptiness in your heart. No parents to dote on you after work, only a sick and tired grandmother who tried to give you everything she could before taking her last breath.
You even thought you could have a chance at having a family when you met your first love, but you soon gave up that hope after nearly being sold off as a wife to an old rich geezer. It had taken you ages to run away from him, to run away from a forceful marriage, only to land back in the same predicament but with a different person.
“I do not understand him,” you speak out in the silence, echoes of your voice getting swallowed up by the snow. Not even your murmurs could leave the estate. “Nobody does. That is just how he is.” Nobara doesn’t look at you as she replies. “No, he could just take the marble from me–if I even have it. Why does he need to marry me for it?”
“He believes you have it, but you are just unaware. He plans on coaxing it out of you sooner or later. And as long as the townsfolk know you are his wife, you cannot leave Seion.”
So you were trapped. If not under Sukuna Ryomen’s thumb, then under the people’s watchful eyes.
Unlike divine beings and spirits, human beings usually follow a daily routine. Sukuna Ryomen was surprised to learn that they meticulously followed everything–even down to how many bundles of firewood they would collect for the day. So, to make his life more comfortable, the former demon king also devised a routine.
His day usually starts with a quick exercise regime to keep himself strong. Should the day come that the Deities have finally returned to their senses and want him back, he can easily fight them in his human form. However, the four demon companions who followed him to the mortal realm out of their loyalty to him would beg to differ. Uraume, Nobara, Yuuji, and Megumi were well aware that even the most swole of humans would be like a small piece of twig for the weakest of deities. Sukuna Ryomen just enjoyed imagining the ones who punished him in pain, including that no-good Divine Judge, Higuruma Hiromi.
He would then eat a hearty meal and set off for business meetings. After his first hundred years on Earth, Sukuna learned that the only way to earn respect and power was to be rich. So he did exactly that: he spent decades earning money and bought out most of the shipment ports around his town. The fact that people forgot who he was every ten years immensely helped him. Divine punishment magic and all.
And at last, he’d end his day by meditating beside his old statue. Getting to the abandoned shrine was a bothersome journey, but the peace he felt there was unlike any other. It was the closest he felt to his former life.
His new wife, however, was ruining everything. He couldn’t exercise with his normal concentration because he needed to always have his eyes on her. He did trust Nobara, but he needed self-assurance. He could easily take her with him for errands for the day, but he didn’t want the old bastards he traded with to land their leery gazes at her. She was still very jumpy, and something about another man, even a few feet in her presence, made him want to burn his hair. Other than his trusted bodyguards and servant, of course.
“She just won’t sit still, and even refuses to eat. I’ve tried everything. You deal with her,” Nobara huffs as she smacks fresh new clothes on Sukuna’s unclothed chest, which was redundant because they had soaked in some of his sweat. He didn’t bother dressing up after his workout and charged to his quarters, noticing his wife had taken solace in the furthest corner from the door.
“I am not going to eat you,” Sukuna sighed as he walked over to her, making her only pull her legs closer to her chest as she scrambled to throw what was closest to her–a lacquer box pillow. Sukuna, of course, easily dodged her attempt to attack him. He veiled his amusement at her discontentment.
“Who’s to say you won’t? After all, you said you were a demon,” she tried her best to sound assertive, but her shivering body gave way to her veracity. Brave woman. She quickly dragged herself across the floor of the room, hoping to make it past Sukuna to get out, but he grabbed onto her ankles and pulled her to him. No grunt or sound of effort escaped his lips. She could only groan as he grabbed both her wrists and sat her up.
“I am here to give you clothes, woman. Calm down!” he reasoned as he sat on his haunches, giant hands still holding her wrists. His wife wriggled, trying to throw off his balance, but his exercise regime had made him sturdier than a raging bull. It wasn’t a shock to him that he was much bigger than her, but the sight of his arms being much larger and stronger than hers stirred something dire in him. Snow falling like dust before the avalanche.
“I don’t need clothes. I am already wearing them. I’ll change when these get dirty. You rich folk sure do love draining every single resource you have–warm water for baths–”
“Which you clearly enjoyed. I could hear you groaning and moaning like old wood yesterday.” Maybe it had been a while since he had a woman in close quarters, but he barely held himself together when he heard her across the estate.
“That was because your little servant scrubbed me so hard that I bruised everywhere!” she yelled as she tried to wriggle some more, but his grip was taut. He pushed her down on the ground, her back hitting the wood with a thump.
“Your stubbornness will simply not do. I always considered myself a patient man, but now I am unsure. I will put you to work and exhaust you so much that you won’t have the strength to even think about escaping.” And with that, he dropped her clothes on the ground and lightly shoved her to the side. Only to remind her of his strength.
And not because the sight of her being dragged around made him feel light-headed and lecherous.
After calling for Nobara to dress his wife up for the day, he called on Uraume to allot his new bride her wifely duties for the day. “She’s been on the street for most of her life so I doubt she knows how to cook. I also do not want her near fire, blades, arrows, or anything that can be a weapon. Have her organize my accounts by name. Nothing too extensive, but enough to make her want to lie down as soon as she’s done.” Uraume quickly nods before packing his things and handing them to him.
He never enjoyed working anyway. It was a good thing he had her to help out now.
“How long will you be meditating for, master?” Uraume asked as he walked Sukuna to the estate’s main entrance. Sukuna left with a swift response, “I expect to be back before sundown.”
The scenery around his statue was always beautiful. Stalky bamboo trees made everything look like a maze in this part of the valley. A stream nearby always had small foxes drinking from it, and the sun shone perfectly for their red fur to glitter.
Three hundred years ago, this place was bustling with people, buying talismans and offering fruits at the foot of the statue. Now, it is just a husk of what it used to be–weathering and moldy wood turning to dust as soon as one touches it. His statue had all smoothened out, his extra pair of eyes were invisible and his horrifyingly glorious mouth on his abdomen was gone too. There was not much difference between his human form and the statue.
Time stood still when Sukuna Ryomen was at his abandoned temple. He touched the smooth, worn gravel of his face and sighed. After a little more time, this statue would return to being taken care of. Offerings and people would return. So would his former glory. But where would his humanity go? Would he take it with him? Or would his sudden return to his former form make him forgo everything he had learned as a human being?
Most importantly, how would his return affect his wife?
“I see you finally found her,” A familiar voice echoes in the forest. Sukuna already knows who he is before turning around. The Tengu spirit was here.
“Why do you suddenly show yourself when I found my path of return, Geto Suguru?” Sukuna still didn’t turn. The spirit laughed, velvety rich voice raising hairs on the back of Sukuna Ryomen’s neck. He hated how humans were so expressive; it was no wonder they never had the upper hand with Deities and spirits.
Cool air blows all around Sukuna as the sound of wings flapping gets closer to him. If he turned around, he’d be face to face with someone he could’ve easily snapped in half if he were a demon again. “Because you haven’t.” Sukuna shivered as the tengu spirit whispered in his ear.
“What are you talking about? I saw her eyes; she has the marble!”
A dark claw digs into Sukuna's shoulder as he is ripped from his spot, and is turned around to face Suguru. He looked the same as he did hundreds of years ago–long black hair falling around his shoulders, dark pools of obsidian that never had a hint of good or evil behind them, and his signature smirk. Sukuna Ryomen hated tengus–they played around too much. Ambivalent creatures. They never lied, but they weren’t the friendliest company either. Only came around when they were bored.
“Are you still angry that I told you about the souls passing by your domain?”
“You said they were rejuvenating!” Sukuna exclaimed but caught himself when Suguru dug his nails into his shoulder. “Careful with your tone. Remember, you are a mere human now, and I could easily end your pathetic little life right this moment.”
“Do it. I’ll only come back to life within a few mere minutes. I am cursed, remember?”
“Oh, I know, which is why I’ll keep killing you, making each death more painful than the last. It’ll keep you stalled long enough for your little bride to run off or die with time. Human lives are just so frail, you see.” Suguru stretched a wide, ugly smile, baring his pointed teeth at Sukuna. A loud message.
Sukuna was sure the spirit could hear his pathetic human heart beating rapidly along with the sound of his blood rushing to his face. The veins in his neck bulged out as he tried to restrain his anger. The mere thought of someone taking his marble away from him angered him.
“Tell me what you are here for and leave me immediately.” The sooner Suguru left, the sooner Sukuna could go and protect his wife.
“You are a foolish demon.”
“If you’ve come all the way to the mortal realm to tell me that, then I believe you are the foolish one,” Sukuna’s attitude angered Suguru as he shoved him, his taloned foot slammed on Sukuna’s chest as he cemented him to the ground. Sukuna groaned as he tried to grasp onto the spirit’s foot, but his hands went through them like he was trying to catch onto the air.
Right, humans couldn’t touch spirits, but they could do whatever they wanted to them. No wonder folktales and legends were such a big part of human culture.
“You have become even more bold. I was only here to say that you asked the wrong question at the trial.”
“What are you waiting for then? Tell me,” Sukuna could barely wheeze out the words with the pressure on his chest. Taking pity at the pathetic man’s state, the tengu spirit lifts his leg off and clutches Sukuna’s collar, sitting him up against his will—a man at the mercy of myth.
“Your pearl–she doesn’t have it. Don’t bother torturing it out of her.” Sukuna wasn’t surprised that the Suguru assumed he would’ve done that. But something about his newfound humanity irked him enough not to perform needless acts of violence.
“What are you talking about?”
“The pearl is from the Divine Realm. A human cannot fathom its existence. It only exists as dust in her blood as in yours,”
The former demon’s pathetic human heart beat rapidly like thunder trapped in a cage. He let out an aching sigh as cold sweat dripped down the back of his neck. “You want me to kill her to get the pearl?”
“No, all you need to do is mix your blood with hers, and you will have the complete marble.”
“I cannot make her go through bloodletting–she’s too weak.”
Suguru laughs loudly and the ground beneath Sukuna’s body trembles. Fresh snow is shaken off the bamboos.
“There are less…practical ways of mixing blood. One of them will surely give you your complete marble.” Still confused, Sukuna could only squint at Suguru’s all-black eyes.
“A child, you daft demon. You must have a child with her to return to your original form.”
—
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𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 | 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬
˗ˏˋ that first night (her POV) ˎˊ˗
"There's a theory that says you meet everyone in your life twice—once as strangers, and once when it matters. That first night at 'Pulse', with vodka cranberry on your tongue and his eyes burning into yours, was supposed to be the stranger part. No one warns you that six months later, he'll be standing in your new apartment's doorway, looking at you like he's seen a ghost. But that’s a problem for Future you."
⋆。°✩ story details ✩°。⋆
collection: Before It All (FMU)
wordcount: 15k
pairing: fmu!jungkook x fmu!yn (cocky!jkxbratty!reader)
rating: explicit, 18+
playlist: spotify
content: new york city setting, university setting, strangers to roommates (eventually), nightclub setting, hookup, one night stand, drunk hookup (buzzed/tipsy but consensual), explicit sexual content, oral sex (cunnilingus), protected penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, wall sex, rough sex, choking/breath play (light), hair pulling, marking/hickeys, size kink, manhandling, dirty talk, praise kink, bickering during sex, snarky banter, grinding, multiple positions, slight pain kink, slight degradation kink, praise kink if you squint, sexual tension, sexual chemistry, mild exhibitionism (making out in uber/club), slight voyeurism (being watched in club), mild dubious condom practices (that one scene), alcohol consumption, bite kink, aftercare (mild), spooning, scent kink, vanilla scented products, enemies to lovers (eventual), size difference (height), strength kink.
✧ author's note ✧
Hi my little demons! (`∀´)Ψ Welcome to the prequel that started this absolute dumpster fire - AKA the night our emotionally constipated idiots first met.
Let's talk about how THIS happened, because honestly? I've rewritten this scene approximately 47 times (not exaggerating, my Google docs are a MESS). I initially wasn't even going to write it, but then my 3AM brain, fueled by what was probably my 8th espresso, decided we NEEDED to see these two disasters collide for the first time. And boy, did they collide. ( ̄ω ̄;)
First things first: This is pure, unadulterated filth. I literally had to take several walks around my apartment complex while writing this because these two WOULD NOT BEHAVE. Like, I was trying to be somewhat respectable here, but they said "No♥️" and chose violence. So you know what? I just let them do their thing and documented it like the professional disaster that I am.
Now, let's talk about our girl for a second. Writing her at this specific point in her life was FASCINATING because you can really see all the pieces that made her who she is—the family pressure, the small-town suffocation, the desperate need for control while simultaneously wanting to lose it completely... She's such a beautifully complex mess and I love her for it. (Don't worry, she'll grow. Eventually. Maybe. We'll see.)
And Jungkook... Oh boy. There's SO MUCH about him that I've deliberately sprinkled throughout this chapter. Little details, subtle hints, tiny breadcrumbs that'll make sense later. I'm actually really proud of how many easter eggs I managed to hide in here - come back after future chapters and tell me if you caught them! (Though let's be real, you're probably not here for the literary analysis, you thirsty gremlins.)
The biggest challenge was honestly Emma. Like, how do you get the world's most protective best friend to leave her bestie alone in a club? I spent WEEKS trying to make this work in a way that felt authentic to her character. The sister crisis was my 3AM solution and I'm actually pretty proud of how it turned out. Realistic character motivation is my kink, okay? (^▽^)
Speaking of realism—that's literally why this fic exists. I got so frustrated with how many unrealistic elements I kept seeing in stories that I went "Fine, I'll do it myself" and here we are, 35 pages of smut later???? Huh. You're welcome????
Side note: I have this whole thing narrated in audio (female voice only, because no male voice matches Jungkook’s, my beloved ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) but Tumblr said "file too big bestie" so... might drop it on ko-fi if enough people are interested. Let me know in the comments! Speaking of comments—PLEASE tell me your theories about all the little hints I've dropped about Jungkook's past. I'm dying to see what you guys pick up on! (⌒ω⌒)ノ
Until next time, you disaster pandas! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
Kiki. 🍓
P.S. Any typos are between you and god because I've stared at this document for so long the words have lost all meaning.
⋆。°✩ read more ✩°。⋆
main story: fuck me up
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So here's the thing about nightclubs: you either love them or you hate them.
You? You're more of a 'hate them' kinda girl. The sweat, the noise, the people... not your scene. Not usually, anyway.
But usual went out the window the second Emma suggested this little adventure. Sweet, reliable Emma who you lost touch with after high school but who immediately became your secret accomplice when you reached out about transferring to NYU. Who's been your underground informant for months now—sneaking you tips about the English department, virtually walking you through the campus layout via late-night FaceTime sessions, and helping you plot out the perfect transfer application your parents know nothing about.
Emma, who didn't even blink when you showed up at her door with a weekend bag and a story for your parents about "visiting your responsible friend in the city." (They bought it immediately because, well, it's Emma. Their golden standard of What A Good Influence Should Be.) You'd spent the whole day doing exactly what you came for—touring NYU's campus, sitting in on a couple of English classes Emma snuck you into, and gathering all the transfer information you could get your hands on.
"You can't just transfer here and not know what the nightlife is like," she'd insisted, already rummaging through her closet for something that wasn't your campus tour outfit. "That's like... buying a car without test driving it."
Which, okay, terrible analogy, but you get her point. You've spent months planning this transfer—going over NYU's transfer requirements, crafting the perfect escape from your suffocating small-town university, calculating exactly how to tell your parents once it's too late for them to stop you. The campus visit was supposed to be just that—visiting your responsible friend Emma for a weekend while secretly checking out NYU.
Emma, bless her overprotective heart, had taken one look at your face after that final tour—that specific blend of desperate hope and terrified excitement—and decided you needed to see the whole picture. "The real college experience," as she put it, already pulling out her phone to text her club promoter friend.
"Location sharing on?" she'd asked for the fifth time before you left her apartment, double-checking your phone settings like some kind of Gen-Z mother hen. As if you hadn’t spent the last three months planning this transfer with military-grade precision.
"Yes, mom," you'd rolled your eyes, but something warm had settled in your chest at her fussing. It's... nice, having someone in on the secret. Someone who gets it.
"Emergency contact updated to my number?"
"Check."
"Spare key to my apartment?"
"Emma, I swear to god—"
"Just checking!" She'd grinned, already knowing she was being ridiculous but doing it anyway. "One more thing..."
And that's how you ended up with a literal tracking app on your phone, an emergency SOS button setup, and Emma's solemn promise to "never leave your side, scout's honor." (She was never actually a scout, but whatever.)
Parents really think you're just visiting your studious, sensible friend Emma for a nice, quiet weekend in the city. Having some wholesome catching-up time. Maybe seeing some museums.
Ha. If only they knew you're actually scouting out your future escape route.
If only you knew.
Because let's be real, this isn't exactly in your wheelhouse. But Emma's right there, keeping her scout's honor promise, bouncing between the bar and dance floor like some kind of safety-conscious terror. And maybe it's the way she keeps checking in with subtle thumbs-up signals, or maybe it's just knowing someone's actually got your back in this whole secret college plan thing, but you're... kind of having fun?
Which is how you find yourself here, in this pulsing, thrumming mass of bodies and sound. 'Pulse', the club's called. Fitting, considering how you can feel the bass thumping in your veins, the strobe flashing like lightning in your skull. It's... a lot. But not in a bad way?
Yeah, definitely not bad, you decide as you scan the room. Leather booths, gleaming bar top, and a dance floor packed with the kind of gorgeous twenty-somethings that make you feel simultaneously inadequate and oddly triumphant. Like 'yeah, I might not be that, but at least I'm here.'
And honestly, it's pretty nice here. Clean, classy even. Good lighting over the bar, vigilant security, and Emma vouches for the place. She's your safety net tonight, because God knows you'd never try this solo. But Emma... Emma knows everyone. Gets you both in with a wink and a wave, like some kind of VIP.
The girl's got pull and she's not afraid to use it. You envy that a bit, that confidence. Wish you could borrow just a dash of it, to fortify your nerves as you perch on this barstool, spine too straight and fingers too tight around your glass. But it's fine, it's good, you're good. That’s what you tell yourself, anyways—even if it’s not entirely the truth.
It's just one night. One chance. One small rebellion before you go back home and drown yourself in expectations and demands. Hardly even counts as rebellion, really, in the grand scheme. Not like you're planning on getting blackout drunk and ending up in jail or anything. Just… dipping your toe. Sampling the other side. Just for a night.
What's the worst that could happen?
Famous last words. Or in this case, famous last thought, as you take a too-big sip of your drink and nearly choke on watery vodka cranberry. Good thing no one's paying attention.
Well, except for one guy, apparently. And he's...
Oh. Oh damn.
He's the kind of gorgeous that makes you almost forget how to swallow, even as you scoff internally. Guys who look like that? They're usually bad news. Cringe edgy boys. Like the ones you see on TikTok. The jaw, the eyes, the whole brooding bad-boy package. Not your type. Not even a little.
But he’s hot. Truth be told.
And he's watching you. Not in a creepy way, but… intense. Interested. And wow, okay, maybe there's something to be said for the whole 'still waters' vibe he's giving off, because that gaze is doing things to you. Things you're not entirely sure you're ready for.
But then again... isn't that the whole point? To try something new? To be someone new, just for a night? The girl who holds the stare of a beautiful stranger. The girl who lets the charge build, heart kicking up and skin tingling. The girl who—
"Shit, shit, shit." Emma's suddenly at your elbow, phone clutched to her chest, face twisted with genuine distress. "My sister just called. She's having some kind of breakdown about—god, I don't even know, her boyfriend? Something about him showing up at her dorm? She's hysterical, I can barely understand her—"
You watch Emma's face cycle through about twelve different emotions in three seconds. She keeps glancing between you and her phone, clearly torn. "I should go check on her. But I can't just leave you here alone. Fuck. Maybe we should both—"
"Em, I'm fine," you try to reassure her, even as your stomach sinks a little. Great. Just when things were getting interesting with dark eyes over there. "I can just get an Uber—"
"No, no, wait." Emma's scanning the club like she's looking for something specific. Her face lights up suddenly as she spots someone by the weights machine in the club's weird gym corner. Because apparently some clubs have those now. "Oh thank god—hey!!"
She waves frantically at some guy who's been doing bicep curls between taking selfies for his Instagram story. You vaguely recognize him from Emma's study group—one of those guys who probably knows the protein content of everything in his lunch and considers gym updates a legitimate form of social interaction.
"Perfect timing," Emma says as he approaches, already dabbing his face with a workout towel. She's rapid-fire texting, probably her sister. "You're still doing that safe walk program thing for the student union, right? The volunteer thing they made you do after that frat party incident?"
"Yeah bro, community service hours almost done," he confirms, then looks confused as Emma practically shoves her phone in his face, showing him what you assume is your location-sharing setup.
"Great. This is my best friend from high school. She's got location sharing on with me, SOS button setup, fully charged phone." Emma's talking so fast she's almost tripping over her words. "I have to go deal with my sister but I'll be back in an hour tops. Could you just... keep an eye out? Make sure no creeps bother her?"
Your face heats. "Emma, seriously—"
"I know, I know, you can handle yourself," Emma cuts you off, already shouldering her bag. "But humor me? He’s actually great at this. Always walks girls home after study group. Total golden retriever energy."
You catch the way her eyes flick meaningfully toward where dark eyes is still watching from across the room. Like she's trying to say 'here's your safe but slightly dim option if you want it, but...'
Your phone buzzes with an incoming wall of texts:
Emma: 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢!!! 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 Emma: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚜 Emma: 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚢𝚖 𝚋𝚛𝚘 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚢 Emma: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜... 👀 Emma: (𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 & 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎!!!)
"Hey there. Emma had to run, but she didn't want to leave you alone. Asked me to keep you company. That okay?"
The voice cuts through your spiral, and you blink up at the interloper. Brent? Brad? Some monosyllabic gym bro who's friends with Emma and apparently your new babysitter.
Great.
You paste on a smile, even as your attention flickers back to him. Dark eyes, dark hair, and a mouth that could probably do very interesting things, you bet your money on it. But no. Don’t get distracted. Eyes on Brett. He's safe, he's known. Boring as a beige wall, but that's better. Smarter.
"Yeah, of course," you say brightly. Too brightly. Even you can hear the false note, and you cringe. "Thanks for keeping me company."
Because that's why you're here. For safety, for company, for sampling the world, but through a protective barrier. Not for tall, dark, and dangerously appealing over there. Definitely not for him.
Even if you kinda wish it was.
"You're pretty."
And like... okay? Thanks? But also, ugh. It's not that you're not flattered—you are, in that vaguely uncomfortable way that makes you want to simultaneously preen and roll your eyes into next week. Because yeah, duh, you know. You own mirrors. You're aware of your assets, thank you very much. But there's something so wonderfully, terribly basic about guys who lead with that.
Still. You give him another once-over, because fair's fair and also because like... why not? He's not bad. Actually pretty decent, if you're being honest (and you are, because what's the point of lying to yourself?). Broad shoulders, nice arms, that whole gym rat aesthetic that apparently some girls go crazy for.
Not that you're necessarily one of those girls. You've always preferred a more... balanced build. Something between "I can bench press you" and "I've never seen the inside of a gym." Like, yeah, muscles are nice and all, but you want to be able to actually cuddle without feeling like you're laying on a marble statue. Give you some softer edges any day. Something to sink into, you know?
But beggars can't be choosers and honestly? You're kind of tired of being a beggar. Or, well, not a beggar exactly, but definitely... selective. Too selective, maybe. Conservative. Careful. All those words that really mean "scared to actually live a little."
Not tonight though. Tonight you're in New York fucking City, three hundred miles from your parents' suffocating expectations and that small-town mindset that makes you want to scream into your pillow sometimes. Tonight you could be anyone.
So when you say, "Thank you, you're not bad yourself," it comes out smoother than expected. Almost flirty. And his laugh? Not terrible. Kind of nice actually, even if it doesn't quite reach his eyes. They're nice eyes too—warm brown, honest. Safe.
"Would you like to dance?"
The question hangs there, and you consider it. Really consider it. Because this—this whole thing—it's what you came for, isn't it? To try something new. To be someone new. Someone who says yes to dancing with attractive strangers in clubs that pulse with bass-heavy Usher remixes.
"You feeling confident?" you throw back, and okay, maybe that was a little sharp, a little too much of your usual self bleeding through. But he just smiles (no dimples, and why does that matter? Since when do you care about dimples?), and holds out his hand.
His fingers are cold when they wrap around yours. It's... not great. You've always hated cold hands, which is ironic considering yours are perpetually freezing. But you let him lead you onto the dance floor anyway, because what the hell. What the actual hell. You're here, you're young, you're... actually kind of buzzed now that you think about it. That vodka cran hitting different after all.
His hands hover at your hips, eyes asking permission, and you give him a look that you hope translates to "yes, but don't get crazy about it." Must work, because his palms settle, grip light but present. You rest your hands on his shoulders (nice shoulders, you'll give him that), and try to find the rhythm.
It's not terrible. Not amazing either, but definitely not terrible. He can move, keeps a decent beat, doesn't try to grind up on you like some horny teenager. His hands stay respectfully placed, thumbs making small circles that should probably feel more exciting than they do.
Everything about this should feel more exciting than it does.
Maybe you need another drink. Maybe you need to stop overthinking every little thing and just... be. Maybe...
Maybe that's when it happens. Your eyes drift up, over his shoulder, like they're being pulled by some invisible thread. Like something in you just knows where to look. And there he is.
Dark eyes locked on yours, expression unreadable in the strobing lights.
One second. Two. Three.
An eternity compressed into the space between heartbeats. Your skin prickles, heat crawling up your spine that has nothing to do with the crowded dance floor or the alcohol in your system. The weight of his stare is palpable, laden with something unnamed but acutely felt. Something that turns your mouth to the Sahara and your pulse into a kickdrum.
Usher croons about falling in love while Pitbull drops his signature "dale" in the background, and isn't that just fucking hilarious? Because this—this moment, this look, this stranger—this isn't about love. This is about want. Raw and simple and completely uncomplicated by things like names or histories or futures.
This is about the way his jaw clenches slightly as he watches you dance with someone else. About how his fingers drum against his glass in perfect time with the beat. About the little scar on his cheek that catches the light when he tilts his head, studying you like you're a puzzle he wants to take apart piece by piece.
Your dance partner's hands feel colder by the second.
It's not that his hands are bad, exactly. They're... nice hands. Big hands. The kind that wrap around your hips like they were made to be there, fingers long enough to span the distance between hipbone and hipbone. And yeah, okay, you have a thing for hands. Who doesn't? It's practically universal at this point—like liking bread or hating people who talk during movies. Just basic human nature.
But something's... off.
Your brain is doing that thing. That stupid, annoying, overthinking thing where it won't shut up long enough to let you enjoy anything. And god, you hate this. Hate how your mind rebels against perfectly good situations, like it's allergic to straightforward pleasure or something. Because objectively? This should be working. Hot guy, good music, decent amount of alcohol in your system. Your body's definitely on board—you can feel the low simmer of attraction, the way your skin warms under his touch. The basic chemistry is there.
But your mind? Your mind's like that one friend who shows up to parties just to list off everything that could possibly go wrong. His hands are cold. His laugh doesn't reach his eyes. No dimples. The way he said "pretty" like he was checking off a box on some "How to Pick Up Girls" checklist.
You sigh, already stepping back. Watch the confusion flicker across his face, quickly masked by what you're sure he thinks is an understanding smile.
"Everything alright?"
And like... no? Yes? Maybe? How do you even answer that when you're not sure what's wrong in the first place? When you're standing here on a dance floor that's vibrating with Usher's voice while your brain short-circuits over the temperature of some guy's hands?
"Yeah, I'm just..." You pause, teeth catching your bottom lip as you reconsider. Fuck it. Might as well go with the classics. "The vodka. Has me feeling buzzy, I think I'm not feeling too good."
It's a cop-out and you know it. But it's also an easy out, the kind that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings or make things weird. Because that's what you do, isn't it? Keep things smooth. Keep things nice. Even when you're lying through your teeth to some guy whose name you can't quite remember.
"Hey, that's okay." His smile stays steady, concerned even. "No hard feelings. You need a ride home?"
And that—that right there—that's actually kind of sweet. In another universe, maybe that offer would seal the deal. Nice guy, worried about your safety, probably has a stable job and calls his mother on Sundays. But in this universe? In this universe, your eyes are already drifting over his shoulder, drawn like a compass needle to true north.
You press your lips together, scanning the crowd like you're actually looking for someone. Like you haven’t known exactly where he is this whole time, haven’t felt his eyes raking you up and down non-stop.
"Actually I know someone just across the way, so honestly, zero worries."
The shock on his face would be comical if it weren’t so irksome. "You positive? Weren’t you visiting from out of town? Emma mentioned you were just in for the weekend."
And okay, what the actual fuck? Why does he need your whole life story? Yeah, sure, he's probably just being nice. Probably just wants to make sure you're not about to wander off and get murdered or something. But still. The irritation rises in your throat like bile, sharp and inexplicable.
"Doesn't mean I don't know anybody in New York," you say, and wow, okay, that came out with more edge than intended. Quick, fix it, smooth it over. You paste on a tight smile, the kind that probably looks more like a grimace but hey, at least you're trying. "See you around, Brent."
You're already moving as you say it, heels clicking against the floor with purpose. You think you hear him call after you—something about his name being Peter?—but you're beyond caring. Beyond thinking about cold hands and careful smiles and all the safe choices you should be making.
Because your feet know where they're going, even if your brain is screaming about bad decisions. Even if every rational part of you is throwing up warning signs and red flags. Even if—or maybe because—you can feel his eyes following your every move, heat spiraling up your spine with each step closer.
The bass drops, and your heart kicks up to match it.
Dale, indeed.
You don't need to look at him to know he's watching. You can tell. Can perceive it. It’s like standing too close to a bonfire. The kind of heat that makes you want to step closer even as your survival instincts scream danger, danger, danger.
And this? This is definitely dangerous.
You don't do this. Like, ever. There's a whole routine to these things, right? Guy sees girl, guy approaches girl, girl decides if she wants to deal with whatever fumbling attempt at flirtation follows. That's just... how it works. How it's always worked. Because guys? They're usually terrible at being approached. Their fragile little egos can't handle a girl making the first move. Plus, most of them aren't worth the effort anyway.
But.
But your feet are already moving. But your heart is already racing. But something about the way he's been watching you, like he could devour you whole and still be hungry—it makes you reckless. Makes you stupid. Makes you brave.
"Dance with me."
It comes out more command than question, your voice steadier than it has any right to be. He looks up at you from his seat, and fuck. Just... fuck. Because the way he tilts his head? The slow, deliberate motion of it? That should not be as hot as it is. That should be illegal in at least three states.
Then he smiles. Just one side of his mouth lifting, lazy and confident and—oh god. A dimple. One perfect little dimple that makes something in your chest squeeze tight.
"That's bold."
His voice is lower than you expected. Rougher. Like whiskey over gravel, and you want to drink it down until you're drunk on it. Want to find out what other sounds you can pull from that throat.
"You've been looking at me for 10 minutes." The words fall from your lips before you can stop them, sharp and challenging. "You gonna come dance or not?"
He chuckles—actually chuckles, who even does that?—and holy shit, there's another one. Two dimples. Two perfect little dents in his cheeks that make heat pool low in your belly, thick and sweet like honey. Your fingers twitch, aching to touch them, to press thumbs to those tiny curves and feel him beam against your flesh.
When he stands, it's one fluid motion that makes it feel like someone replaced your esophagus with a cracked porcelain vase. Because he's tall. Not incredibly, super tall. But yes the kind of tall that means you'd have to stretch up on your toes to reach his mouth, that means his hands could probably span your whole waist, that means—
No. Nope. Not going there. Not yet anyway.
He follows you onto the dance floor, and you can feel the energy shift. Like the air itself is charging up, preparing itself for both of you. His friend—some guy with killer dance moves who's been holding down a corner of the floor all night—catches his eye and shoots him a look. Something passes between them, quick and meaningful, before Mystery Man's attention is back on you. All on you.
And yeah.
Yeah, this is happening.
This is definitely happening.
The bass pounds through your marrow as Usher's voice continues suffusing the air, talking about DJs and falling in love, and honestly. At this point you’re barely listening to the music itself, too focused on finding a more secluded spot.
Your pulse picks up speed. Can’t help it, really. Because this? This is definitely going to be worth breaking all your rules for.
You lead him to some darker corner of the club—might be by a column, might be an alcove, who fucking knows because your brain's too busy short-circuiting to care about architectural details right now. All you know is it's slightly away from the main crush of bodies, slightly more private, slightly more...
Oh.
His hands find your hips the second you turn to face him. No hesitation. No silent question. No careful hovering or polite uncertainty like what's-his-name earlier. Just warm, sure palms sliding over the curve of your hips like they belong there, like he's claiming territory, and—
And you should be annoyed. You should be fucking livid. Because excuse you? The audacity of this man to just assume he can touch you without so much as a "may I?" Some feminist you are, getting weak in the knees over this caveman behavior while poor Brett (Blake? Whatever) at least had the decency to ask permission with those puppy dog eyes of his.
But your brain? Your traitorous, horny, absolutely useless brain? It's sending signals straight between your legs because apparently that's what does it for you now. The confidence. The heat of his hands—and god, they're so warm, burning through the thin fabric of your dress like brands. They're not as broad as the other guy's, but his fingers are longer, elegant almost. Artist's hands, scattered with tiny tattoos that disappear under his sleeve, and that silver ring on his middle finger catching the light as his grip tightens just slightly...
(Middle finger. Not left-hand fourth. So not married then. Good. Last thing you need tonight is adding "homewrecker" to your expanding list of dubious habits.)
Your arms loop around his neck almost on autopilot, and then you're moving. With him. Against him. The bass is a living thing between you, and he matches your rhythm instantly, like your bodies already know the steps to this dance. Like you've done this a hundred times before, in a hundred different lives.
His eyes lock onto yours, heavy-lidded and dark as sin, and every hair on your neck stands at attention. Electricity crackles down your spine, sharp and sweet, as his thumbs press into your hipbones. Just enough pressure to guide you closer, until there's barely room for breath between you.
"Didn't catch your name earlier," he says, voice pitched low enough that you have to lean in to hear him over the music. His breath fans hot against your ear, and you suppress a shiver.
"Didn't throw it," you shoot back, because apparently your mouth is running on autopilot now too. Great. Just great.
But he laughs—a quick, rough sound that you feel more than hear—and his hands flex against your hips. "Feisty. I like that."
"Bet you say that to all the girls who proposition you at clubs."
"Nah." His head dips closer, nose brushing your temple. "Just the ones who stare at me for ten minutes first."
"Excuse you, you were staring at me."
"Maybe we were staring at each other."
And okay, that's... fair actually. But you're not about to admit it. Instead, you roll your eyes, even as your fingers find the soft hair at his nape. "Does this usually work for you? This whole... whatever this is?"
"You tell me." His smile is audible in his voice, and you just know those dimples are making an appearance again. "You're the one who told me to dance."
"Maybe I just felt sorry for you, sitting there all alone."
"Wasn't alone. Had my friend."
"The dancer? Please, he was too busy killing it on the floor to keep you company."
His laugh vibrates through his chest into yours, and when did you get this close? When did your bodies start pressing together with every sway of the music? When did his thigh slip between yours, creating a friction that makes your breath catch?
"You been watching my friend too? Should I be jealous?"
The word sends an unexpected thrill through you, even though his tone is clearly teasing. "Wouldn't you like to know."
"Yeah," he says, and suddenly his voice isn't teasing at all. His grip tightens fractionally, pulling your hips more firmly against his. "Yeah, I would."
Goosebumps ripple across your arms, slow and inevitable, like lava carving its path through stone. His eyes burn into yours again, scorching hot, wild, and consuming—a downpour drowning a raging fire, leaving nothing but aftermath. What’s left in their wake is the kind of black that clings. Opaque. Dense. Like ash, settling over a forest stripped to its bare bones.
The sensible part of your brain—the part that usually keeps you from doing stupid, reckless things with beautiful strangers—is suspiciously quiet. Probably because all your blood is currently occupied elsewhere, namely with the way his hands are starting to trace slow patterns on your hips, the way his breath keeps ghosting over your neck, the way his body moves against yours like he's writing sin in cursive.
And maybe it's the vodka, or maybe it's how he's gazing at you like you're tranquility amidst his chaos, but you hear yourself say, "Buy me a drink first."
His smile is slow, dangerous. "That an order too?"
"Consider it a... suggestion."
"Mm." One hand slides to your lower back, pressing you impossibly closer for just a moment. "I'm starting to like your suggestions."
Your skin feels too tight, too hot, too everything. "Starting to?"
"Give me time." His lips brush your ear as he speaks, and this time you can't suppress the shiver. "Night's still young."
He actually does buy you that drink, which is... something. You're not sure what exactly, but definitely something. The way he guides you to the bar with his hand still on your lower back, fingers splayed wide enough to make you notice the imprint of his warmth? Also something.
"Another vodka cran," you tell the bartender, because hey, if it ain't broke. Then you catch his raised eyebrow and can't help adding, "What? Were you expecting something more sophisticated?"
"Nah." That damn dimple makes another appearance. "Just trying to figure you out."
"Good luck with that."
When he pulls out his wallet to pay, you catch a glimpse of multiple cards fanned out in the leather fold. Credit cards, maybe? Must have money then—or at least good credit. Not that it matters, because this is a one-time thing. A never-gonna-see-you-again thing. A what-happens-in-New-York stays-in-New-York thing.
Your fingers find the cocktail napkin beneath your glass, absently creating sharp creases with your thumbnail. It's one of those fancy ones with the bar's logo embossed in gold—pretentious, like everything else about this place.
Still. You notice how he pauses, studying one card for a beat too long before selecting it. Like he's making sure of something. Weird, but whatever.
The napkin disappears into your clutch without conscious thought. A habit you'll question later but can't explain now. You're too buzzed to care about his personal finances or your own questionable souvenir-keeping tendencies.
"Whiskey neat," he orders, and you barely contain your snort. Of fucking course he drinks whiskey. Probably thinks he's Don Draper or something.
"Pretentious much?"
"Says the girl drinking what's basically juice with a splash of alcohol."
"At least I'm not trying to prove anything."
His laugh is rough, genuine. "Who says I'm trying to prove anything?"
"Please. Whiskey at a club? That's like wearing a suit to McDonald's."
"Maybe I just like whiskey." He takes a deliberate sip, throat working in a way that absolutely doesn't make your mouth water. "Maybe I like the burn."
There's something in his voice when he says that, something that feeds the banked flame in your belly. His eyes are on you again, alternating between your eyes and your mouth like he can't quite decide where to focus.
"That line score you points often?" you manage to ask, even as your voice betrays you, emerging breathier than intended.
"I wouldn't know." He's definitely closer now. When did that happen? Did he move, or did you? "Is it scoring points now?"
And god help you, but it is. It really fucking is. Maybe it's the alcohol finally hitting your system properly, or maybe it's the way he's looking at you, but you find yourself swaying toward him. Drawn in like a moth to flame, even though you know you're probably going to get burned.
"You're kind of an asshole," you inform him, even as your free hand finds its way to his chest. His very firm chest, holy shit.
"Yeah?" His fingers trace up your spine, feather-light but deliberate. "Seem to like it though."
"Cocky too."
"Haven't heard any complaints."
He's so near now you can smell him—something clean and vicious, like a tempest raging on the coast. His breath fans across your lips, whiskey-warm and promising. One of his hands cups the back of your neck, thumb brushing your jaw in a way that makes your skin buzz.
"Anyone ever tell you you talk too much?" you murmur, and that's it—that's all it takes.
His mouth crashes into yours like a wave breaking against rocks, hot and insistent and absolutely fucking flawless. His lips are softer than you expected but he kisses hard, like he's trying to devour you whole. Like he's been thinking about this as much as you have. The hand on your neck tightens, tilting your head to deepen the angle, and holy fuck.
You've been kissed before. You've been kissed a lot, actually. But this? This is something else entirely. This is lightning in a bottle, this is matches in gasoline, this is every hackneyed poetry metaphor about fire and flame and immolation except it actually makes sense now because your entire body is electric with it.
His tongue swipes across your bottom lip and you open for him without hesitation, vodka cranberry forgotten in your hand. He tastes like alcohol and dewdrops and something else you can't name but instantly crave more of. The noise he makes when you tug his hair—low and ravenous and almost startled—shoots straight between your legs.
Someone whistles nearby—probably his dancer friend—but you couldn't care less. Not when his other hand is sliding down to your hip, pulling you closer. Not when he's kissing you like he's trying to memorize the shape of your mouth with his tongue. Not when everything in you is screaming more, closer, now.
You're definitely going to hell for this. But with the way he's kissing you?
Might be worth it.
His forehead rests against yours, and you're both breathing like you've run a marathon. Which is... embarrassing, actually. When was the last time a kiss left you this affected? What are you, some freshman at their first house party? Because this is ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Your heart is hammering against your ribs like it's trying to escape, and your lips are tingling, and—
And fuck it. Fuck everything. You want more.
"Let's take this outside," you say, surprising yourself with how steady your voice sounds considering your internal chaos. Because yes. Outside. Away from the crowd and the music and all these people who aren't him.
"Your house?" The words are barely out of his mouth before you can finish your suggestion, and okay, that's kind of hot. The eagerness. The way his fingers flex against your hip like he's already imagining it.
You can't help the smile that tugs at your lips. At least you're not alone in this desperate teenage hormone bullshit. At least he's just as affected as you are.
But then reality crashes in like a bucket of ice water. Your house? What house? You're crashing at Emma's place and—oh god, Emma would actually murder you. Like, literal homicide. She's already doing you a solid by covering for you with your parents, and bringing back some random (incredibly hot) guy from a club? Yeah, that would definitely void the best-friend contract.
"Yours?" you counter, trying not to sound too hopeful.
He makes this sound—half hiss, half groan—that shouldn't be as sexy as it is. "Can't."
"What, mommy and daddy don't let you?" The snark is automatic, defense mechanism kicking in to mask your disappointment.
"Nah, but my friend might not like it."
"Mine either."
You stare at each other for a moment, eyes darting back and forth like you're both trying to solve the same puzzle. The absurdity of the situation hits you at the same time—two grown adults, hot and bothered in a club, cockblocked by their respective roommate situations—and suddenly you're both laughing.
His chuckle is deep, rumbling through his chest where you're still pressed against him, and it's... nice. Really nice. The way his eyes crinkle at the corners, the way his dimples flash (and seriously, those things should come with a warning label), the way his thumb absently strokes your hip like he's forgotten he's doing it.
"Well, this is..."
"Stupid?" you offer.
"I was gonna say unfortunate, but yeah. Stupid works too."
You're still close enough to feel his breath on your lips, still wound tight with want, still buzzing from that kiss. And now you're both laughing about it, which should probably kill the mood but somehow doesn't. Somehow makes it better, actually. More real. Less like some fantasy hookup and more like...
Nope. Not going there. This is still just a one-night thing. A one-night thing that's currently being cockblocked by your respective living situations, but still. Just one night.
"So what now?" he asks, and his voice has dropped back into that lower register that you really want to hate. "Because I really want to kiss you again."
"Just kiss?" The words slip out before you can stop them, teasing and suggestive and probably way too candid.
His grip tightens, just marginally. Just enough to make your breath catch. "Definitely not just kiss."
"Fuck," you breathe, because eloquence has left the building. Possibly the state.
"That's the idea, yeah." And how he says it—all gruff edges and sinful vow—makes embers spark low in your abdomen. "Just need to sort out the logistics."
Which brings you right back to your current predicament. No Emma's place, no his place, and you're pretty sure having sex in the club bathroom is both tacky and probably illegal. But the way he's looking at you, like he really, really wants to wreck you…
"We could..." you start, then pause. Because what? What brilliant solution are you about to offer here? Your practical brain is absolutely useless right now, short-circuited by the lingering taste of whiskey on your tongue and the steady pressure of his hands on your body.
"Could what?" His thumb traces your bottom lip, and your train of thought derails completely.
"I have no idea," you admit, and his laugh is somehow both frustrated and fond.
"This is definitely stupid," he says, but he's still holding you close, still looking at your mouth like he's considering kissing you again anyway, roommate situations be damned.
"So stupid," you agree, already tilting your face up to meet him halfway.
You lick your lips, tasting geosmin and want and really awful decision-making skills.
Fuck it. Fuck everything. Emma can kill you tomorrow.
Your fingers wrap around his wrist—god, his hands are so warm—and you're already moving, already pulling up the Uber app with your free hand. Thank fuck for muscle memory because your brain is absolutely useless right now, too busy cataloging the way his pulse jumps under your fingers, the way he follows without hesitation.
"Where we goin'?" His voice is low and hoarse as he trails behind you, wrist a hostage to your grip.
"To my friend's place," you mutter, trying to type Emma's address without typos.
You: 𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚊, 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠
You don’t mention you’re not heading home alone. She’ll find out herself.
The dude, for his part, just hums in response, like he's fine with whatever as long as it means getting somewhere private. Which, fair. You're kind of operating on the same wavelength here.
You make it to the coat check line first, because priorities. You’re not leaving your jacket behind. And it is moving at a glacial pace, because of course it is. The universe clearly wants to test your self-control by forcing you to stand here, his chest pressed against your back, his breath hot on your neck.
The way his fingers keep "accidentally" brushing your thigh has you seriously considering saying fuck it and just leaving your jacket behind.
"Could just come back for it tomorrow," he murmurs, like he's reading your mind. His lips brush your ear as he speaks, and you barely sigh in response. Bastard knows exactly what he's doing.
"It's January in New York. I'm not getting hypothermia just because you can't keep it in your pants for five minutes."
"Could keep you warm."
And okay, that line should be cringeworthy. That's the kind of shit that would usually make you roll your eyes so hard they'd get stuck. But he has a way with words—or maybe it’s just his fucking voice—and somehow you like it.
"Next," the coat check girl calls, mercifully saving you from having to respond. You practically lunge forward, fumbling with your ticket. Better than letting him feel how that stupid line affected you.
He reaches past you to hand over his own ticket, arm bracketing you against the counter. And really? Really? This is some romance novel bullshit right here. Who does he think he is, Christian Grey? You should be annoyed. You should definitely not be noticing how good he smells, or how the position highlights just how much bigger he is than you, or—
"Here you go!" The coat check girl's voice is way too cheerful for—you check your phone—3:46 AM. She hands over your coats with a knowing smile that makes your face heat. Great. Just great. Even the coat check girl can tell you're about to make terrible life choices.
He helps you into your jacket because apparently he's decided to be a gentleman now, after spending the last hour making you question your life choices with his mouth. His hands linger on your shoulders just a fraction too long, and you have to bite your lip to keep from making an embarrassing sound.
"Ready?" he asks, voice still pitched low enough to make your skin tingle. You nod, not trusting yourself to speak, and let him guide you toward the exit with his hand on your lower back.
The coat check girl calls out "Have fun!" as you leave, and you seriously consider moving to a different city. Maybe a different country. Somewhere people don't immediately clock your questionable decision-making skills.
The Uber arrives embarrassingly fast—some higher power must be looking out for horny idiots tonight—and you both slide into the backseat. You start on opposite sides because you're trying to be decent human beings, trying to remember that your poor driver doesn't deserve a free show.
But then he's moving closer.
And closer.
And suddenly his mouth is on yours again, hot and demanding, and okay, yeah, sorry Mr. Uber driver but this is happening. His hand cups your jaw, tilting your head just so, and you're definitely making some kind of noise in the back of your throat but you're beyond caring. Beyond thinking about anything except the way his tongue slides against yours, the way his other hand grips your thigh.
Fifteen minutes. That's all it is from the club to Emma's place. Fifteen minutes that somehow feel like both seconds and eternity, lost in a haze of wandering hands and stolen kisses and trying (failing) to keep things PG-13. You're vaguely aware of streets passing, of turns and stops, of the driver pointedly turning up the radio.
And then your attention shifts. His teeth graze your bottom lip, fingers slowly sliding on your inner thigh. Hisses when your nails find his scalp. Heat. Want. Need. Building higher with each passing minute until you're practically vibrating out of your skin.
By some miracle (or possibly divine intervention), you make it to Emma’s building. You stumble out of the Uber, giving the driver your most apologetic smile-grimace combo. He just shakes his head, probably adding you to his mental list of "drunk hookups I never want to see again."
But then he's pressing you against the building's front door, mouth hot on your neck, and you really can't bring yourself to care about your Uber rating right now. Not when his hands are everywhere, not when he's making these little sounds against your skin that go straight between your legs.
It takes three tries to get the key in the lock—partly because it's 4 AM and you're tipsy, mostly because he won't stop kissing you long enough to focus. When you finally get the door open, you nearly fall through it, saved only by his arm around your waist.
"Smooth," he murmurs against your lips, laughing softly.
"Shut up," you breathe back, already pulling him in for another kiss. His back hits the closing door with a thud that's definitely too loud for 4 AM, but you're past caring. Past thinking about anything except the way his hands feel sliding up your sides, the way he tastes, the way he's eating you up with his eyes.
Emma's definitely going to murder you tomorrow. But with the way his fingers are digging into your hips, the way he's kissing you like he's trying to crawl inside your skin?
What-fucking-ever.
He pushes off the door like a man on a mission, and suddenly you're airborne—your legs wrapping around his waist on pure instinct. And okay, that's hot. The way he lifts you like you weigh nothing, the solid press of his body against yours, the little growl he makes when your hips roll against his.
"Room?" His voice is wrecked already, breath hot against your mouth between kisses that make your head spin.
You gesture vaguely toward Emma's guest room, too busy mapping the muscles of his shoulders to form actual words. He exhales sharply against your lips, already moving. Your jackets become casualties somewhere in the hallway, dropped with fumbling hands and zero grace because yeah, the vodka's definitely hitting now. Everything's warm and hazy and electric, your skin buzzing everywhere he touches.
Then you're falling backward onto the bed, and holy fuck. The way he's looking down at you—like he's been lost in the desert and you're a fucking oasis—it makes your breath catch in your throat. Makes heat pool low in your belly, makes your thighs press together in anticipation.
His shirt comes off in one fluid motion and—
Jesus fucking Christ.
You've seen attractive guys before. You've seen gym bros and athletes and the whole spectrum of male bodies. But this? This is like someone took Michelangelo's David and decided to make him real but better. He's all lean muscle and smooth skin, but with just enough softness to make him touchable. Human. Perfect.
And his chest—god, his chest. It's not the rock-hard wall of muscle you'd expect from someone who looks like that. Instead, there's this ideal balance of firm and soft, creating the most magnificent set of man tiddies you've ever laid eyes on. The kind you could actually cuddle up to without feeling like you're resting on concrete. The kind that would make a flawless pillow after—
Your lusty brain stops working as he leans down, pressing his hips deliberately against yours as his mouth finds your neck. His tongue traces patterns on your skin that make you arch up against him, desperate for more contact.
"Fuck," he breathes against your throat, nosing along your pulse point. "You smell so good. Like vanilla and..." He inhales deeply, making your skin erupt in goosebumps. "Like something sweet I wanna taste."
Your hands slide up his back, feeling the play of muscles under warm skin. He's perfectly balanced above you, using just enough of his weight to make you feel deliciously pinned without crushing you. You fucking love it. Don’t know why, don’t know how. Maybe it's just how attractive he is, or the heat of his mouth on your neck, or the press of his body against yours or the way he keeps making these little sounds like he can't help himself.
He's kissing you again before your vodka-soaked brain can process anything beyond rudimentary want, primal need. It's all heat and tongue and teeth, messy and perfect in the way only drunken hookups can be. One of his hands slides up your neck, fingers spreading across your throat. Not squeezing, just...resting.
It's fucking electric.
Your hands map the expanse of his back, nails dragging lightly in a way that makes him groan into your mouth. He's all smooth skin and sinewy muscle, hot to the touch and absolutely unfair. No one should be allowed to feel this good. To make you feel this good, just by existing.
He drags his mouth down your neck, teeth grazing your artery. Your fingers tangle in his hair, gripping tight enough to make him hiss. Which is hot. Way too hot, because that noise? It immediately spirals straight between your thighs.
And fuck, how he grinds down against you in response. It's obscenely filthy, the perfect pressure in just the right spot to make you want to moan aloud. To be shameless.
"Fuck," he breathes against your skin, and you feel it more than hear it. Feel the heat of his breath, the barely restrained want in the way he's touching you. "You feel so fucking good."
Your hips roll up to meet his in a way that's purely instinctual. Because yeah, he feels good too. Better than good. You feel the maddening length of him grinding against you through his jeans; his hand around your neck and—god, you want to claw his back, to wrap your legs around his waist and just take.
The hand on your neck flexes just slightly, thumb brushing your jawline and you think you die just a little because hello? You like that. You really, really fucking like that. New kink unlocked, it seems.
"Want you," he murmurs, voice low and rough with arousal. "Want you so fucking bad, you have no idea."
And oh, you do. You really, really do. Because wanting him is all you can think about right now. All you can focus on beyond the thrumming of your heart, the aching throb between your thighs. You want his hands, his mouth, his—
"Off," you manage, tugging at his jeans with clumsy fingers. "These need to come off like, yesterday."
His chuckle vibrates through his chest into yours. "So fucking bossy."
But he's already leaning back, already working on his fly as you prop yourself up on your elbows to watch. And Jesus Christ, the way he looks right now—shirtless and disheveled, dark hair falling into darker eyes, lips red from your kisses—it's unfair. Unreal.
So fucking hot you think you might actually die if he doesn't touch you again in the next ten seconds.
His jeans hit the floor with a soft thud and holy fuck—the sight of him in just black boxer briefs should be illegal in at least forty-eight states. Like, someone call the police because this? This is absolutely criminal. The way the fabric clings to his thighs, the obvious bulge that makes your mouth water—
But then he's on you again, and thinking becomes a foreign concept.
His hands find the hem of your dress, bunching the fabric up with an urgency that makes heat pool between your legs. You arch up to help him, already anticipating the slide of fabric over skin, but—
Oh.
The second the dress clears your elbows, he presses down. Uses the fabric to pin your arms above your head, effectively trapping you against the mattress. And that's... that's...
Fuck.
His mouth is suddenly on your breast, hot and wet and absolutely perfect. No hesitation, no teasing—just the wet slide of his tongue over your nipple before he sucks it into his mouth, and holy shit.
Thank god you wore this dress. Thank every fucking deity that you chose the tight red one that doesn’t need a bra, because the feeling of his mouth directly on your skin is absolutely devastating.
A moan tears from your throat—embarrassingly loud in the quiet room—as his teeth graze sensitive flesh. His responding groan vibrates through your chest, sending shivers down your spine. Your back arches instinctively, pressing more firmly into his mouth as his tongue swirls around your peaked nipple.
His free hand finds your throat again, and—
Oh god.
His fingers spread wide, applying the slightest pressure. Testing. Exploring. Like he's curious about your reaction, about the way he feels your heartbeat flutter faster in response.
You can't help the soft sound that escapes you—somewhere between a whimper and a moan. His grip tightens fractionally in response, and your cunt clenches around nothing. Because fuck, that shouldn't be as hot as it is. The way he's controlling your breath, the way he's holding you down, the way his mouth is absolutely ruining you one suck at a time...
"Sensitive," he murmurs against your skin, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. Bastard. His thumb strokes along your jugular, feeling the way your breath hitches. "Wonder what other sounds I can get that pretty throat to make."
You'd have a snappy comeback for that. You know you would. But then he's switching to your other breast, teeth scraping just right, and coherent thought becomes a distant memory. All you can focus on is the wet heat of his mouth, the steady pressure of his hand on your throat, the way he's using his other hand to keep you pinned against the bed.
And maybe it's the situation, or maybe it's just him, but you've never been this turned on in your life. Never been this wet, this desperate, this needy. It should be embarrassing really—the way you're practically writhing beneath him, the way every little touch sends electricity sparking through your veins.
But with the way he's groaning against your skin, the way his hips keep grinding against yours like he needs it? Maybe you're not the only one that’s losing sanity here.
His teeth catch your nipple just as his fingers flex against your throat, and the combination pulls a sound from you that you didn’t even know you could make. High and breathy and absolutely wrecked.
"Fuck," he breathes, hot against your wet skin. "The sounds you make..."
His thumb brushes over your throat again, slower this time, before gliding up. Along the underside of your jaw. Pausing at your bottom lip. He applies the slightest pressure, watching as your mouth falls open on instinct. You're not sure whether you breathe or whimper, but it makes his gaze go impossibly darker, makes his hips roll against yours in response.
And then his thumb is there, pressing against your tongue, and—goddamn him—you're sucking without a second thought. The groan he lets out is a shattered thing, low and guttural, as though he's just as wrecked as you.
For three glorious seconds, he just... freezes. Like his brain's temporarily offline, like you've actually managed to short-circuit whatever smooth operator routine he had going.
And okay, maybe that gives you enough time to yank the dress out the rest of the way, tossing it off your bent elbows in a way that you hope was sexier than it felt. He doesn’t seem to notice—too busy looking at you like he's forgotten how he got here. Or how to breathe.
Either way, it's a little distracting.
But then he's moving, yanking his hand back like you've scorched him. And before you can even process the loss, he's sliding down your body, trailing open-mouthed kisses that make your skin come alive.
Your tipsy brain tries to catch up with what's unfolding—manages to register the flex of his shoulders, the heat of his mouth marking a path down your stomach, the way his hands are suddenly gripping your thighs and—
Oh.
Oh fuck.
He pulls you to the edge of the bed like you weigh nothing, kneeling between your spread legs like he belongs there. And how he looks up at you through his lashes, mouth hovering just inches from where you're absolutely drenched through your panties...
You prop yourself up on your elbows because fuck if you're missing this show. The movement makes your head spin slightly—reminder that you are definitely not sober—but the sight of him between your thighs is worth any potential vertigo.
His breath fans hot against your core, and your hips twitch involuntarily. A smirk plays at the corners of his mouth, but before you can call him out on it, he's leaning in. Pressing his open mouth against you through the thin fabric of your underwear, and—
"Fuck."
The word tears from your throat unbidden because holy shit, this shouldn't feel this good already. It's barely anything—just the heat of his mouth, the slight pressure of his tongue through fabric—but your body's lighting up like a fucking supernova. Like every nerve ending is suddenly dialed to a hundred.
Your fingers find his hair without conscious thought, tangling in the dark strands as he works you through your panties. The grip of his hands on your thighs tightens in response, and fuck—that's definitely going to leave marks.
And okay, yeah. Maybe you're embarrassingly wet. Maybe you can feel it soaking through the fabric, making everything slick and messy. Maybe you should care about that, about being this affected this quickly.
But you don’t. Not really, with the way he's groaning against you like he's dying for it. Like he can't get enough. Yeah, dignity can take a backseat.
Besides, all thoughts of pride or shame fly right out the window when he finally, finally hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties. Your hips lift automatically, helping him slide them down your legs. They catch on your heels because of course you're still wearing your fuck-me pumps, but he doesn't seem to mind. Just lets the fabric dangle from one ankle as he dives back in, and—
"Holy shit."
His tongue drags up your slit in one long, deliberate stroke, and your brain temporarily stops working. Like, full system shutdown. Windows XP error sound and everything. Because fuck—that shouldn't feel as mindbogglingly good as it does.
Then he flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue and you make this absolutely mortifying noise—some choked little "guh" that would humiliate you if you were sober enough to care. His lip ring adds this extra edge of sensation that makes your thighs quake, cool metal a sharp contrast to the heat of his mouth.
He makes this sound against you—something between a hum and a growl (and okay, yeah, maybe 'growl' isn't the right word because what are you, fucking animals? But you're drunk and getting your pussy eaten properly for the first time in forever, so vocabulary can fuck right off). Whatever it is, it vibrates through you in a way that has your hips jerking up, seeking more.
Then he's doing these small, slow circles around your clit. So. Fucking. Slow. Like he wants to drive you crazy, wants you to fucking writhe against him. You try not to just grind up against his face. Because that would be desperate, right? That would be—
Damn.
The circles suddenly get faster, tighter, more intense. His tongue flicking over your clit with the kind of speed and precision that would put Fast & Furious to shame. And the sounds coming out of your mouth? Yeah, those aren't even words anymore. Just a stream of "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck."
If Emma’s home—because it’s probably been an hour already—she’s probably getting one hell of a show through these paper-thin walls. But you know what? She fucking owes you. All those times you covered for her sneaking out to Bobby Martinez's house in high school? Yeah, consider this payback with interest.
He drags his tongue back down, gathering your wetness (and okay, yeah, you're basically flooding at this point but whatever), then slides back up. Adding texture to his movements like some kind of oral sex virtuoso. Because apparently this stranger knows exactly what he's doing with that mouth, and honestly? Good for you. You deserve this. You deserve to have your pussy eaten by someone who treats it like a goddamn art form.
So you lean back, let yourself enjoy it. Let him explore and taste and fuck—the way he's absolutely feasting on you like you're his last meal. His tongue finds your clit again, and this time he sucks it into his mouth, and the sound that rips from your throat probably violates noise ordinances in several states.
The wet sounds of his mouth on you are absolutely obscene. Like, pornographic-level obscene. All sucking and slurping and Jesus fucking Christ, you should not find that as hot as you do. But with your stiletto digging into his back (when did that happen?) and his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave fingerprints...
Yeah. Yeah, definitely hot.
Then his tongue drags down, down, down—and fuck, you can feel every ridge, every texture against your sensitive flesh. He reaches your entrance and just... circles it. Like he's mapping you out. Like he’s thinking about his next move.
Five blessed seconds where you can actually catch your breath. Where your brain starts to come back online and—
Fuck.
His tongue plunges into you without warning and your hand definitely just yanks out some of his hair but who fucking cares because his nose is nudging your clit while he tongue-fucks you and—and—
And your brain's offline again. Good talk.
He adjusts his arms, somehow pulling you even closer to his face. As if you weren't already basically smothering him. As if he literally wants to drown in your cunt. And that thought shouldn't be as scorching hot as it is but holy shit.
A moan tears from your throat—loud enough that Emma's probably googling noise complaint laws right now. But you can feel it building, that telltale tightening, that electric tension spreading through your core. Your clit's throbbing in time with your racing pulse and—
And he doesn't change a thing.
Because this guy? This absolute genius between your legs? He knows better than to pull that amateur hour bullshit where they speed up right when you're close. No, he maintains the exact same rhythm, the exact same pressure that got you here. Like he's done this before. Like he actually pays attention to what works.
(And okay, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about his past experience right now but your brain's kind of shorting out so whatever.)
Your stiletto digs deeper into his shoulder—might actually be drawing blood at this point but he doesn't seem to care one iota. If anything, he groans against you like he's getting off on it. Like pain turns him on. And that's...that's definitely something to stash away for later.
Or never. Because this is a one-time thing. Right. Focus.
Except focusing is basically impossible when he's eating you out like it's his actual job. When the pressure's building and building and—
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Your back arches off the bed like you're auditioning for America's Next Top Model: After Dark Edition. The orgasm hits you like a riptide, waves of pleasure so intense your vision actually whites out for a second. Your thighs clamp around his head, heel probably leaving permanent marks on his back, and you're definitely making sounds that would make a porn star blush but—
But holy shit.
His tongue flicks over your oversensitive clit one last time—the absolute bastard—and your whole body jerks as you whimper. Which, okay, definitely earned that one. Because holy fuck.
You slump back against the bed, bones liquified, as he prowls up your body. His hands plant on either side of your face and—wow, okay, up close he's even more unfairly beautiful. All sharp jawline and scorching eyes and lips that are literally glistening with...yeah.
"You taste exactly like you smell," he murmurs, and what kind of weird-ass compliment is that? Like, thanks? Good to know your pussy matches your perfume brand?
Except...it kind of works? Something tingles in your face and no. Absolutely not. You are not getting all swoony just because Hot Stranger is saying vaguely poetic shit during sex. This is just your horny lizard brain going 'hot man say words, neurons go brr.' That's all.
Then his mouth is on your neck and—yeah, okay, thinking is canceled anyway. His hands trace maddening patterns down your stomach, feather-light touches that make your muscles jump. And when he tugs his briefs down, his cock springs free and—
Oh.
Well then.
Your body apparently didn’t get the memo about the standard refractory period because hello, Round Two suddenly seems very appealing. It hasn’t even been five minutes since you came but here you are, already clenching around nothing like some kind of sex-starved teenager.
He leans back slightly, reaching for something and—ah. His jeans. More specifically, his wallet. From which he produces not one but multiple condoms, and honestly? We love a prepared king. Nothing hotter than a guy who practices safe sex without having to be asked.
(And yes, you're literally evaluating his sexual responsibility while naked and still tingling from one of the best orgasms of your life. Sue you.)
He grabs one condom and tosses the others somewhere on the bed. Then—because apparently he's auditioning for some porno-meets-action-movie hybrid—he puts the wrapper between his teeth. Locks eyes with you. Rips it open.
And okay, PSA time: Kids (not that any kids should be reading this, what the fuck brain?)—this is not how you open condoms. Use your fingers like a normal person, not your teeth like some kind of sexual menace. That's literally Condom Safety 101.
But then again, when a guy this stupid hot does literally anything, your brain just kind of... accepts it. Like yeah, sure, demolish that condom wrapper with your teeth while maintaining smoldering eye contact. That's normal. That's fine. You're fine.
He gives the condom a cursory check (okay, at least he's being thorough), pinches the tip between his fingers and you just... watch. Wait.
"You gonna fuck me tomorrow or...?" The words slip out before your self-censor can nab them, biting and teasing.
Bad choice.
His hand—his stupidly large, stupidly warm hand—wraps around your thigh and yanks you down the bed in one fluid motion. And why the fuck is that so hot? Why are you noticing how his fingers practically span your whole thigh? Why is the heat of his palm against your skin making your breath catch?
Your eyes flicker back to his cock and—oh. When did he even get the condom on? You must have missed that while you were having your crisis about his hands. But he's ready now, thick and hard and—
Fuck.
He pushes in with one swift motion and your body just... takes him. Like you're literally eager for it, still slick and open from his mouth. He makes this soft gasping sound like he's actually dying, like your cunt is some kind of religious experience.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he groans, hips flush against yours. "So fucking slippery and warm, feels like silk—"
"That's—ah—what happens when you eat someone out properly," you manage, even as your walls flutter around him. Because apparently your mouth doesn’t know when to quit, even with a dick inside you.
His laugh is rough, breathless.
"I’ll keep that in mind."
And fuck—the way he says it, like a promise, like a threat. Your cunt clenches at the thought and he actually growls.
He pushes your thighs down against the mattress and—ow. Okay, that's definitely going to hurt tomorrow. Future You is probably already plotting Present You's murder, adding your name to some karmic hit list right next to Emma’s (who, let’s be real, is definitely contemplating homicide through these paper-thin walls right now).
But then he starts moving and—oh.
Oh fuck.
Every coherent thought evaporates because he's burying himself so deep you swear he's trying to carve out a permanent place inside you. Like he wants your body to remember exactly how he feels, wants to leave an impression that'll last long after tonight.
You didn’t even get a proper look at his size earlier (too busy fizzing over his hands, his mouth, literally everything else), but holy shit. What you do know is he's thick—like, properly thick. Every inch of him pressed against your walls like he's trying to eliminate any space between you, like he's mapping out your insides for future reference.
"Fuck, you're tight," he groans, and you actually feel him twitch inside you. "So fucking—"
"Less talking," you manage to gasp out, "more moving."
His laugh is rough, breathless. "As you wish."
He snaps his hips once—testing, exploring—and your breath hitches in your throat. Then again. And again. Quick thrust in, torturously slow pull out, and every single time has you gasping like some Victorian maiden with a too-tight corset.
"Like that?" He sounds way too smug for someone balls-deep in a stranger. "The way you squeeze me every time I—"
"You always this chatty during sex?" Your voice comes out embarrassingly breathy, but whatever. "Or am I just special?"
Another snap of his hips that makes your eyes roll back. "Maybe I just like the sounds you make when I'm inside you."
And fuck—why is that hot? That shouldn’t be hot. You're still so wet from earlier that you can hear it, can feel how smoothly he glides in and out, nice and easy.
"You're certainly—ah—confident," you manage between thrusts, because apparently your mouth doesn’t know when to quit. "Compensating for something?"
His grip on your thighs tightens. "Want me to stop and let you check?"
"Don’t you fucking dare."
His pace quickens and—oh hello, is that a smirk he's biting back? It is. It absolutely fucking is. And your brain, your stupid, traitorous brain, finds that scorching. Because of course it does. You squint your eyes shut because you can’t deal with how cocky he looks right now, can’t process how that cockiness is actually doing it for you.
Congratulations, you've officially lost it. This is your villain origin story. Death by dick-induced insanity. They'll write case studies about you in Psychology Today: "Local Woman's Brain Melts Because Hot Stranger Has Good Dick Game." Your mother would be so proud.
But also? Also shut the fuck up, brain, because you're literally getting the best dick of your life right now so maybe save the self-reproach for later? Like, there's a time and place for your characteristic overthinking and this ain’t it.
He leans forward then, changing the angle as he chases your mouth, and holy fuck. Each thrust goes deeper, harder, faster—like he's trying to reach parts of you no one else has touched. His kiss is messy, all tongue and teeth and desperation, and you're actually whimpering into his mouth like some kind of—
Wait.
Hold the fucking phone.
Since when do you whimper? What is this, some kind of Harlequin romance novel? Are you secretly the protagonist of a Fabio-covered paperback? Because you don’t whimper. You don’t make these soft, needy little sounds into strange men’s mouths. That’s not your brand. That’s not—
But then he rolls his hips in this way that makes you see actual fucking stars, and okay, you know what? Fuck your brand. Fuck everything. Because the way he's moving? The way he's filling you up like you're some kind of horny piñata? Yeah, that takes precedence over your identity crisis.
And speaking of crises—why does this feel so fucking good? Like, mathematically speaking, dick is dick. It's basic anatomy. Tab A into Slot B. So why does every thrust feel like he's rewriting the laws of physics? Why does your body respond to him like he's got some kind of sexual Midas touch?
The worst part? The absolute worst part? You can feel another orgasm building already. Which is ridiculous. Impossible. You literally came like ten minutes ago. This man hasn’t even finished once and here you are, ready to go again like some kind of horny Energizer bunny.
You need to have a serious conversation with your pussy about standards and expectations. Like, what happened to the refractory period? What happened to playing hard to get? Because this? This instant response to everything he does? This eager little flutter every time he hits that spot just right?
This is just embarrassing.
But also really, really fucking good.
"You take my cock so fuckin' well," he groans against your neck, voice rough and slurred. "Like y'were made for it, so perfect—"
And okay, what kind of porn dialogue bullshit is that? Who actually says things like that during sex? More importantly, why is it working? Why does every filthy word from his mouth send electricity shooting straight to your cunt?
"Hnnngh—"
That's it. That's all you can manage because your brain-to-mouth filter is totally fried. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he hits that spot just right, and you're pretty sure you're leaving marks but whatever. Future Him problems.
"F-fuck, how you clench around me when I say shit like that," his words come out breathless, hitching. "Like hearing how good you feel? How tight and wet and fucking flawless—"
"Shut up." But it comes out more like a whine than a command, completely undermining any attempt at snark. Your walls flutter around him traitorously, and his responding groan vibrates through your whole body.
"Make me," he challenges, punctuating it with a particularly vicious thrust that has your eyes rolling back. "Or maybe you don't want me to? Maybe you secretly get off on—fuck—on hearing how amazing you are, how nobody's ever swallowed me this deep before—"
"Nghh—" Your brain's offline. Completely fucking offline. No thoughts, head empty, just the overwhelming sensation of him moving inside you, the heat of his breath against your neck, the absolute filth falling from his lips.
"S'true though," he pants, pace growing erratic. "Never felt anything like this, like your—oh fuck—"
A moan tears from your throat—loud and wanton and utterly mortifying. But you can't help it, not when he's fucking you like he's trying to ruin you for anyone else, not when he keeps saying these things that make your insides turn to molten lava.
"That's it, lemme hear you," he encourages, and you want to punch him for how smug he sounds but you also want him to never stop. "Love the sounds you make when I'm deep in this pussy, when I—shit—"
His voice catches as you deliberately tighten around him, a small victory that makes you smirk despite how your body's on fire.
"Fuck, you're evil."
"You talk too much," you manage to get out between gasps, even as your hips chase his rhythm desperately. You're close—so fucking close—but not quite there.
He laughs against your neck, the sound dark and promising.
“Touch yourself for me."
When you don't immediately comply—because for some reason you still want to challenge him—he pulls back just enough to look you in the eye.
"Rub that pretty clit, show me how you like it."
The command in his voice shouldn't turn you on this much. "Make me," you challenge, because apparently your mouth has a death wish.
"Oh?"
His rhythm slows to something torturous, each thrust deep and deliberate. "Do I need to show you where it is? Guide those lovely fingers myself?"
You're about to snark back when his hand slides between your bodies, and—oh. Oh.
"Found it," he says with infuriating smugness, circling your clit with practiced ease. Your whole body jerks at the contact, oversensitive and desperate. "Seems like I know exactly where it is. Don't I?"
"Fuck—" Your voice breaks as he applies just the right amount of pressure, the bastard. "You're so—nghh—"
"I'm so what?" He's grinning now, you can hear it in his voice even as you squeeze your eyes shut. "C'mon, tell me. Use your words."
"Insufferable," you grit out, but your body betrays you, arching into his touch. "Arrogant—ah—asshole—"
"Maybe." His fingers speed up, matching the pace of his thrusts, and holy shit you're going to die. "But I'm an arrogant asshole who's about to make you cum again, aren't I?"
He's right and you hate it. Hate how well he reads your body, hate how he found your clit without hesitation like he's got some kind of carnal GPS, hate how fucking good he is at this.
"That's it," he encourages as your breathing hitches, as your nails dig into his shoulders. "Let me feel you fall apart. Wanna feel this cunt clamp down on my cock when you—"
His hips stutter and you can feel him pulsing inside you, even through the condom. The way his whole body tenses, the broken sound he makes against your throat—it pushes you right over the edge. Yeah. Your second orgasm says hi; has you curling your toes against his back, tensing your thighs around him as if he would ever dream of leaving right now.
"Fuck fuck fuck—" You're not even sure which one of you is saying it anymore. Maybe both. Maybe neither. Maybe you're having an out-of-body experience because Jesus Christ.
For a moment, there's just silence. Just breathing. Just the sound of your heart trying to recall its normal cadence. Then he chuckles against your cheek—a low, sated sound that you'll deny remembering tomorrow—and follows it with a quick nip that makes you jolt.
"Fuck, that was good," he breathes, still catching his breath.
"S'alright," you manage, even though your legs are literally jelly and your brain's still rebooting.
He pulls back just enough to quirk an eyebrow at you, that infuriating smirk playing at his lips. "Just alright?"
"Fishing for compliments?" You raise your own eyebrow, trying to ignore how his hand is still absently stroking your hip. "That's kind of desperate."
"Says the girl who came twice."
And—okay, rude. Accurate, but rude.
He shifts then, carefully pulling out (and at least he's considerate about it, making sure not to hurt you), and starts dealing with the condom. But then he just... stands there. Looking lost. Condom in hand and this adorably bemused expression that makes something in your chest do a weird little flip.
No. Not adorable. Nothing about this guy is adorable. Hot? Yes. Skilled with his tongue? Abso-fucking-lutely. But not adorable. You refuse to find anything about him cute, especially not the way he's glancing around the room like a lost puppy trying to figure out where to—
You can't stifle the snort that escapes you. "Trash can's over there, genius." You gesture with your head toward the small bin by the dresser. "Try not to get lost on the way."
He rolls his eyes but moves across the room, and you definitely don't watch the play of muscles in his back as he walks. Or the way his ass looks in the dim light. Or how his hand rakes through his tousled hair as he leans down to dispose of the condom and—
Fuck.
Fuck.
Because here's the thing: you've had one-night stands before. You know how this goes. Quick fuck, awkward goodbye, never see each other again. That's the routine. That's the protocol. That's what smart, sensible people do.
But.
But you're already thinking about how his mouth felt between your legs. About how he filled you up just right. About how he seemed to know exactly what to do with his hands, his hips, his—
And you know what? Fuck it. Fuck being sensible and sane. Fuck playing it cool. You've got a hot guy with stellar dick game right here, right now. Might as well take advantage while you can.
Before your brain can talk you out of it, you're launching yourself off the bed. Your legs are still a bit wobbly (thanks, Mr. Two Orgasms), but you manage to catch him just as he turns around. Your mouth crashes into his, messy and demanding, as you push him against the wall.
His surprised grunt turns into a pleased hum against your lips, and his hands immediately find your hips like they belong there. Like this is exactly what he was hoping would happen.
Cocky bastard.
He spins you around so fast your head spins—or maybe that's just the lingering vodka. Either way, suddenly your back's hitting the wall and—oh. Okay. This is happening. Again. Because apparently your body doesn't give two shits about being thoroughly fucked already.
His mouth crashes back into yours, hungry and insistent, and it should be gross really—you can taste yourself on his tongue, everything's messy and uncoordinated and frantic. But instead it's just...hot. So fucking hot you feel like you're melting from the inside out.
Then his hands slide down to your thighs and he's lifting you like you weigh zilch (and seriously, what is it with this guy and manhandling? More importantly, why do you like it?). Your legs wrap around his waist automatically, and how his cock twitches against your stomach—already getting hard again—should not make you feel this smug.
"Eager?" you manage to gasp between kisses, because apparently your mouth doesn't know when to quit.
He bites your bottom lip in response, just hard enough to make you whimper (and fuck, there's that sound again, what is wrong with you tonight?). "I’m sorry? Weren’t you the one jumping me?”
"Just felt sorry for you." The words come out breathier than intended as his mouth finds that spot behind your ear. "Standing there looking all lost with your used condom—"
His growl cuts you off, vibrating through his chest into yours. One of his hands tangles in your hair, yanking your head back to expose your throat, and—fuck. The way he attacks your neck like he's trying to mark you up, like he wants everyone to know exactly what you've been doing...
Then his mouth finds yours again, swallowing whatever protest you might have made. And it's different this time—sloppier, needier. All clashing teeth and warring tongues and his hands everywhere at once. You're pressed so tightly between him and the wall you can feel every twitch of his muscles, every stuttered breath.
One of his hands slides up your thigh, fingertips trailing fire in their wake, and you're already embarrassingly slick again. Already aching for him like you didn't just have him inside you minutes ago. Your hips roll against him craving friction, and the sound he makes—half groan, half snarl—shoots straight between your legs.
"Condom," you gasp against his mouth. "Need a—"
"Yeah," he breathes, but he doesn't move away. Just keeps kissing you like he's suffocating and you're oxygen, like he can't bear to stop even for a heartbeat. "Yeah, just—fuck, you feel so good—"
Your brain's rapidly disintegrating, especially with the way he keeps grinding against you, the way his mouth keeps doing that to your neck. But you manage to remember: "Bed. Other condoms. On the bed."
He makes this sound of acknowledgment but still doesn't budge, just shifts his hips in a way that has his cock sliding against your clit and—jesus fuck.
"If you don't get a condom right now," you warn, voice embarrassingly unsteady, "I'm going to kill you."
His laugh is rough, breathless. "Such violence."
He practically teleports to the bed—like, Olympic-level sprinting for that condom. It'd be comical, the way he fumbles with the wrapper (apparently Mr. Smooth isn't so smooth when he's desperate), except you're too busy being embarrassingly turned on by his urgency.
You're about to suggest moving to the bed—because your legs are already shaking and wall sex seems ambitious after two orgasms—but—
Holy fuck.
He's got you up against the wall again in one fluid motion, hands gripping your thighs as he lines himself up and—oh god. The sound that rips from your throat as he fills you in one swift thrust is utterly shameful. But the broken "fuck" that falls from his lips? How his whole body shudders as he bottoms out?
Yeah, okay. Maybe worth the mortification.
"Jesus fuck," he breathes against your neck, voice wrecked. "You feel—shit, how do you feel even better than before?"
"Hush it," you gasp, even as your walls flutter around him. "And move."
He laughs, breathless and gritty. "Demanding little thing." But he's already moving, setting a pace that has your head lolling back. "God, you’re even wetter than before, taking me so well—”
"That your professional opinion?" Your attempt at snark falls flat when it comes out as more of a moan. "Done extensive research, have you?"
His hips snap up particularly hard at that. "Never—fuck—never felt anything like this."
And that should be a line. That should be the kind of bullshit guys say during hookups to stroke their own egos. Except the way he says it—all breathless wonder and raw honesty—makes something hot unfurl in your chest.
"Yeah?" It comes out embarrassingly breathy, but whatever. Can’t really care when every thrust is melting honey down your spine. "Prove it."
He makes this sound—half growl, half moan—like he fucking loves your audacity. "Already made you come twice."
"Maybe I was faking."
"Sweetheart, nobody's that good an actress."
And honestly? Fair. But you're not about to admit that, not when he's already so smug about how well he plays your body. Instead, you drag him down for a kiss that's more teeth than finesse, swallowing his groans as his pace gets more erratic.
"F-fuck," he pants against your mouth. "Gonna make you come again. Wanna feel you—"
"Big talk for someone who—ah—hasn't delivered yet."
His responding thrust makes your back arch off the wall. "Jus’ wait."
His hips snap up harder at your challenge, making your head thump back against the wall. And fuck—the way he's moving now, all rough desperation and graceless rhythm. Everything's wet and messy and absolutely filthy, the sounds of skin on skin blending with your breathless moans.
"Still—ah—ah—waiting for that delivery," you manage, even as your nails dig into his shoulders.
"Fuckin’—" His breathless laugh is menacing. "Always—fuck—gotta have the last word, don’tcha?”
You'd have a comeback for that, you really would, except he chooses that moment to shift his angle and—holy shit. Because now? Now his pubic bone grinds against your clit every time he moves, every time he thrusts deep inside you. And honestly? Fucking unfair that even his bones know where your clit is.
You can feel him twitching inside you, can tell he's close by the way his breath comes in harsh pants against your neck. And you're almost there too, just need a little more—
But then he's groaning, hips stuttering as he cums. His whole body tenses, pressing you flatter against the wall as he empties into the condom.
And okay, great for him, congratulations, but you were so fucking close.
You tap his back urgently. "Keep goin’."
"What?" He's still catching his breath, forehead pressed against your shoulder. "Gimme a second, ah—I just—"
"I was—right there," you whine (and yes, you're actually whining now, this is what you've been reduced to). "Don't you dare stop."
He lifts his head, looking at you incredulously. "I literally just filled the condom—"
"I don't give a fuck, just move."
And okay, yeah, PSA time number two: This is definitely not safe sex practice. The second a condom's full, it needs to be changed. That's like, Sex Ed 101. But also? Also your clit is throbbing and you were this close to coming and your horny lizard brain has completely taken over.
"Jesus," he breathes, but he's already starting to move again, shallow little thrusts that make your eyes roll back. "You're fucking insatiable."
"Like earlier," you gasp, grinding down against him. "With the… with your hipbone."
He laughs against your neck—a rough, breathless sound that shouldn't be as arousing as it is. "Gotcha."
And he does. Repositions himself, makes sure he’s got exactly the same position he had earlier. His hipbone comes in contact with your clit as he begins thrusting faster again, and fucking yeah, that’s what you needed.
"Fuck, the way you feel," he groans. "So slick and snug and—shit—"
"Shut up shut up shut up—"
Because you can't handle his voice right now, can't deal with how his words make the drowning sensation grow more and more intense by the second. You're so close you can taste it, right on the precipice, just need a little more—
Then he nips at your neck, his tongue flattening against your pulse point. And that's it. You're a goner. Again. For the third time tonight.
Your entire body locks up as bliss courses through, lapping at your core like waves at a shore. Your eyes instinctively close as you relish it in all its intensity, and you're pretty sure you make some kind of mortifying noise but whatever. Three orgasms in, dignity is a distant memory.
He slows his movements gradually, letting you ride it out, and you can feel him softening inside you. Your head drops to his shoulder because keeping it upright seems like way too much effort right now. The residual booze is hitting different after getting thoroughly wrecked—everything soft and fuzzy around the edges.
You vaguely register him checking the condom with his free hand—the other one still supporting your ass because apparently you're not ready to unwrap your legs from his waist yet. Your brain's moving in slow motion, heavy with alcohol and mist and the kind of bone-deep exhaustion that only comes from really good sex.
"Hey." He taps your back lightly. "You falling asleep on me? Dick game that good?"
"Die," you mumble into his shoulder, not even bothering to lift your head. "Just... shut up and die."
You hear him chuckle, vaguely. It should be irritating. It isn't. You're too drained to care. Everything's warm and hazy and your limbs feel like they're crafted from lead.
You're only half-aware of him moving you to the bed, of sheets being pulled up, of a warm body pressing against your back. Your consciousness is already drifting, floating in that space between awake and asleep where nothing quite computes.
The last thing you register, right before slumber claims you completely, is his nose pressed against your neck and his drowsy murmur:
“Smell like vanilla now too."
⋆。°✩ TAGLIST ✩°。⋆
@cannotalwaysbenight @livingformintyoongi @itstoastsworld @somehowukook
© jungkoode 2025 no reposts, translations, or adaptations
#jungkook smut#jungkook scenario#jungkook x reader#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts x reader#bts scenario#bts imagine#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#bts jungkook#bts fanfiction#jungkook fanfiction#jk fic#bts au#jungkook oneshot#jungkook angst#jungkook college au#college jungkook#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts fic recs#jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x y/n#fmu#fuck me up
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They're going hard on you
TW: none i think
gn!reader
Short stories of when OP men go hard on you out of worry
Characters: Shanks, Trafalgar Law
Shanks
You sat in the captains office and looked at Shanks who was unusally quiet. You had an anxious feeling in your guts. You knew you had fucked up, but you didnt think he would be that mad.
The red hair pirates docked at some uninhabited island, and you were assigned to not leave the ship since Shanks wasnt sure how dangerous the island would be. But when you saw a strange animal falling from a tree and into a river, trying desperately not to drown and reach the shore again but couldnt make it, you left the ship and jumped into the river and helped the animal out of there. The scared animal didnt realice you only wanted to help him, and trashed around in your grip and scratched and bit you.
When Shanks and a part of his crew came back from exploring the island, and he saw that you were standing on deck, soaked from head to toe and trying to clean up your bloody injuries, his usually carefree face fell. He wore an unreadable expression as he told you to come into his cabin when Hongo was done treating your wounds.
Now, half an hour later and bandaged up, you sat in Shanks office and looked at your lap. He still had that unreadable expression on his face and you werent sure in what kind of trouble you were right now. You had breaken the rules before, nothing too bad, but he never acted like that because of you. You thought that he'd understand why you left, everyone knew that you had a soft spot for animals.
You anxiously waited for him to start talking, but he didnt even look at you. After another silent ten minutes, he finally said something.
"What did Hongo say?"
"He said that it is nothing too bad, just some scratches. I need to go check up regulary tho in case of infection and if I feel weird I am supposed to go to him instantly. Hongo checks the books right now if the animal that bit me is poisenous or not."
You gladly would have left out the last part, but you knew you shouldnt do that right now. He would talk with Hongo and find out anyway.
There was another short silence before he spoke again.
"What did I tell you to do? No, what did I order you to do?"
"To stay on the ship" you quietly said.
"And what did you do?"
"I...left the ship."
"You disobeyed my orders. That's what you did. No matter what relationship we two have, I am your captain and you have to follow my orders like everyone else on this ship."
You were quiet for some time. You didnt mean to disappoint him, but you didnt think about his orders when you saw that helpless animal fighting for its life.
"I'm sorry. I only wanted to help the-"
"I dont care what you wanted to do. You had clear orders. Orders, which were meant to protect you. Protect you from exactly those animals that hurt you. We have no idea if they are venomous, or aggresive, or a religious species for any natives that live here."
You stayed silent. The uneasy feeling in your stomach growing by the second. Sadness and fear joined that feeling too. You thought he'd understand you, but in the end you just disrespected him infront of his crew with ignoring his orders.
"I'm sorry for messing up" was all you could get out in that moment, and you heard Shanks sigh. He stood up from behind his desk and walked over to you.
"What am I supposed to do with you? Even when i try to protect you you still seem to find a way to end up in Hongos medical office. Why cant you just listen to me?"
His tone was softer than before, and you finally dared to look up at him. He had a worried expression on his face.
"I- I didnt think in that moment" you admitted as he bend his tall frame down to you, looking at your bandaged hand where that animal bit you.
"You have no idea how it felt to see you all bloody on deck. How it feels to know that you could die if that animal was highly venomous" he said, gently touching your arm.
You avoided his eyes and looked at the stump of his left arm.
"Yes I do know how that feels. I didnt want to make you experience this too. I'm sorry."
He sighed again, moving his hand under your chin and forced you gently to look him in the face.
"Never do that again. I love you too much for that."
Trafalgar D Water Law
You didn't look at him as he walked past you. You both ignored each other since the argument you had. You felt frustrated and angry at him, but mostly because he was right.
There was an emergency at the submarine, something about the boiler malfunctioning in the middle of the night. You were the closest to it so you tried to fix it, but you werent an engineer - you weren't sure what to do so you just improvised and tried your best until the persons who knew what to do came. Before that happened, hot water splashed onto your arm leaving a nasty burn on it.
Law had bandaged you up, but you noticed something wasn't right with him so you asked him. Which resulted in a heated argument between you two which ended with him snapping at you.
"If you have no idea of something then why do you even try? You're no help here, we just have more work now because of you."
Your eyes got teary when you thought back to his words, but it hurts even more knowing he was right. He had more work because he had to bandage you up, while your crewmembers probably had to fix the boiler more because you damaged it even more with your improvised actions.
You self doubted your worth on this crew now. Sure, you knew how to fight, but that was it. You could bandage up small injuries and cook, but in the end everyone knew how to do that. You had no specialty like the others.
With frustration bubbling up inside you that your captain and lover thought of you as an useless inconvinience, you started working even more. You didn't take a break, you just cleaned the Polar Tank or trained. The burn on your arm hurt most of the time, but you didn't care. You wanted to prove yourself that you weren't just on this crew because you and the Captain were dating.
You asked Shachi if he could explain to you how the boiler and stuff worked. He was perplexed as why you wanted to know that, but you convinced him with saying that next time an emergency happend you could actually help. He agreed, tho he knew that Law wouldn't be so happy about you working when you're already injured.
He explained stuff to you in the engine room and of course, no other than Trafalgar D. Water Law walked in on you two while you were trying to name some parts of the enginge. He looked displeased and coldly said your name and then just walked off.
You didn't want to follow him, but knew that he would be even more pissed if you ignored him. He led you two to the infirmary and told you to sit on the exam table. He then grabbed your hand and unwrapped your bandanges.
"What do you think you're doing, y/n-ya?" he spoke calmly, but you immediately noticed that he was holding back.
"Learning new stuff so next time i can actually help" you answered in a snippy tone.
"You won't do anything next time. I don't allow you to" he said while turning around.
You started to argue back that you just tried to be a help when he interupted you mid-sentence.
"How do you want to be of help when you cant even look after your own wound!"
"You were the one who told me I wasnt capable of anything, and now it's wrong when i try to become usefull!" you almost yelled back, tears of frustration and hurt in your voice.
"I never said you weren't capable of anything, I simply stated that-"
"You said I am no help, that I have no idea what I'm doing and that you all have more work because of me!"
A tear rolled down your face and you started shaking slightly as Law looked at you with widend eyes. He grabbed his hat and pulled it over his eyes as he looked down.
"That wasn't what I meant. I just...you got hurt on my submarine while I was present. I- you shouldn't have gotten hurt when I'm there to protect you."
You looked at him with wide eyes, the tears now streaming down your face.
"You are more than capable of sorting stuff out on your own, you are a big help to everyone on this crew. I didn't mean to insult you or tell you you aren't worthy to be here. It's just...this could have ended up bad. And now I see you working in there again. I can't have you getting injured when I'm just a few feet away" he added as he walked towards you and grabbed your face so you'd look him in the eye.
"I want you to be safe, y/n-ya. And i failed to do that. You and this crew, you're everything I have. I'm a doctor but I can't heal everything. I'm sorry for insulting you, my heart."
Your eyes softend at the last nickname he called you. It wasn't often that he used it, which made it even more special when he did. He is a big softy and constantly worried about you. You laid your head to his chest and murmured an apology, while he leaned down and kissed your hair.
#trafalgar one piece#red haired shanks#shanks x reader#shanks#shanks x you#trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#trafalgar op#trafalgar law x reader#one piece#onepiece#one piece shanks#one piece x reader#akagami no shanks#red hair shanks#trafalgar d law x reader#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar law x you#trafalgar d water law x you#trafalgar d water law x reader#heart pirates#red haired pirates#rayswriting
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from the replies:
mercifulmother Dec 1, 2024
The amount of white man blinking gif I'm doing at that person right now. I am so TIRED of those popular romance tropes. Like I get it, it's fake and a fantasy, but I want some variety so I can read what I want too, you know? I really desperately wish I could find more stories with the main romances actually caring for and respecting each other. Sigh. Just gotta write the hyper-specific stuff I want myself I guess!
novella-november Dec 1, 2024
Yeah, like. Just because werewolf fiction has a common trope of women being treated like crap, don't get to transform at all, or if they can transform, doing so will cause miscarriages during pregnancy and they commonly get abused by the men in their life and this is seen as the 'correct' and Normal Thing in werewolf fiction………
………. doesn't mean that's a trope we should continue or endlessly praise this trope.
*standing in doorway looking over my shoulder: "sometimes, popular tropes… are bad"
mercifulmother Dec 1, 2024
[claps] Yes, this, thank you. Its so utterly ridiculous and doesn't even make any sense? Like. It's magic. It's literally magic and FAKE and people can, in fact, make up whatever new werewolf rules they want that are not… This hot mess nonsense. I can't even read werewolf romances anymore because it's always like this and I hate it. I don't see how that's supposed to be interesting or romantic in the slightest. I can literally just watch true crime if that's what I'm after. There are so many other interpretations out there that are sitting around just… Untouched. And for that matter, I'm so tired of abuser-to-still-abuser wearing the enemies-to-lovers trench coat. Why does the one enemy always have to be extremely controlling, cruel, violent, and utterly unapologetic with no attempts to even admit to their wrongdoings (which at that point shouldn't be forgiven regardless). Whatever happened to enemies who deeply respected each other's abilities and are obsessed with each other instead because nobody else can understand them? Or enemies who hate being on the opposite side and are desperately trying to 'save' each other because the respect and care go that deep? Like. Literally anything other than aggressively trying to oppress and abuse and subjugate the other (and it's ALWAYS a man doing this to a woman like haha funny how that works except it's not funny).
Making a much longer post short:
If you are writing a Romance, especially one you want your readers to root for, please make sure you take the time to include lots of little scenes that show that:
your characters actually are *friends* as well as lovers,
they enjoy spending time with each other on a casual basis
they respect as well as love each other
they try to communicate their feelings clearly instead of bottling their ire up til it explodes in violent arguments
neither of your characters are genuinely afraid of the other when they're angry
that they do not threaten each other with bodily harm during arguments, or use physical force
they respect each other's consent, and respect their partner's wants and wishes when it comes to physical affection.
pretty much to sum it up: do your characters actually enjoy being with each other, or is the entire relationship built on lust and dramatic arguments and nothing else?
Because if your relationship is the latter, your readers are more likely to want them to *break up* rather than *stay together*.
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Sinners - heejake (+18)
Summary: just heejake fucking instead of attending their weekly mass.
gender: Smut, church boy, Delinquent, Degradation, BDSM, Knife Play, but there's no blood, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, ass eating, blowjob, Top Lee Heeseung (ENHYPEN), Bottom Sim Jaeyun | Jake (ENHYPEN), Face-Fucking, Troublemaker - Freeform
Ethan's family asked Jaeyun to take Ethan to the church in hopes of their son's change, but little did they know that Jaeyun hides something sinful beneath his angelic smile.
"Dad, what the actual fuck? I am not a kid for you to ask someone to look out for me!" Ethan shouted hysterically. Just the thought of someone guarding him irks him.
"I already told you that one more trouble and I'm gonna force you to change! I am a man of my words Ethan, and it's either you follow my orders or you'll end up with nothing on the streets." His Dad said sternly.
Ethan was left with no choice but to obey. He couldn't risk his great life. Also, it's just for 6 months, and after that, he could go back to making trouble again.
He flopped his body on his bed and closed his eyes. He's still annoyed from earlier, but there is a growing feeling of curiosity and excitement emerging in his chest.
"Who is that Jaeyun? And How is he supposed to help me? My parents are fucking crazy for thinking that a mere boy could change me to something better."
The next day came by so fast. Ethan was getting ready for Sunday's morning mass. There is a wrinkle in between his eyebrows as his hands harshly fix his necktie. He is wearing a powder blue button-down which is very unusual in his everyday outfit, which is any dark oversize tee and black ripped jeans.
"I look like a… good boy." He muttered as he grimaced at himself. He is not used to seeing himself like this: hair neatly brushed up, clothes well-ironed, and no excessive accessories hanging on his body.
He went down, and as he steps his foot towards their living room, the voices get louder and clearer. Ethan caught everyone's attention inside the room, including the pretty boy standing in front of their ancestral piano, which was owned by his late late late late late late grandfather.
"Oh My, Son! You looked good!" His mom said proudly; happiness danced in her orbs as she scanned her eyes on his only son.
"Ethan," his Dad called, "–this is Jaeyun, Jaeyun this is my son Ethan." His Dad pushed him gently towards Jaeyun, and Ethan couldn't help but be starstruck.
He never saw someone– particularly a guy– this pretty. Jaeyun is the total opposite of the normal Ethan; his whole being screams purity and decency– far from Ethan's impurity. His eyes scanned Jaeyun's divine features, from those dainty eyes that seemed to sparkle like those animated characters he watches online; those apple cheeks that are dusted with pinkish hues, and those saccharine smiles that took Ethan's breath away.
"Hello, my name's Jaeyun and I'll be your acquaintance for 6 months." even his voice is laced with purity. It is so endearing to Ethan's ears that he couldn't help but gape at the pretty boy standing timidly, arms tucked behind his back, in front of him as he gives Ethan the sweetest smile he has seen in his entire life.
"Enough with the introduction! You two will know more about each other in those six months. You guys can't miss the mass." his mother interrupted.
Ethan's parents guided the two to the door, his Dad whispering to his ears to drive slowly, and his Mom reminding him to act right and be kind to Jaeyun. Ethan only nodded to his parents' words as his mind was still clouded with Jaeyun's ethereal beauty.
"Ethan, listen to the priest's sermon."
"Yeah, Mom…" Ethan answered, his eyes rolling a bit.
The two hopped in the car. Jaeyun sat on the shotgun seat while Ethan sat in the driver's seat. None of them said something on the whole ride; they were just painfully silent throughout their way to the church. Jaeyun's fiddling his fingers as he waits for Ethan to park the car properly. He didn't waste a second getting out of the car once it was settled on the space because the tension inside was too much that he felt suffocated.
They sat in the backmost part of the church as to Ethan's request. He couldn't fathom sitting near the priest and the altar. Ethan was obviously ignorant the whole ceremony, contrasting with Jaeyun, who seems to know everything about the church.
Ethan sighed in relief when the mass ended. The both of them decided to wait till the waves of people who attended the ceremony abated. The growing tension between them once again suffocates Jaeyun, like a clamp squeezing his airway.
"The mass ended earlier than usual, we can have a cup of tea in my apartment if you want to," Jaeyun said hesitantly, afraid that Ethan would reject him, as they made their way towards the car.
"Sounds good," Ethan answered, which got Jaeyun's knees weak.
They arrived at Jaeyun's apartment after 40 minutes since Ethan doesn't know the way and he is driving very slowly. Jaeyun led Ethan to his living room and made the older sit on his two-seater couch as he prepared their tea.
The entire room was silent and the only sound that could be heard was the Black Oolong tea gushing out of the white teapot's nozzle. Before sitting beside Ethan, Jaeyun switched on his TV to lessen the awkwardness spreading around the four-cornered room. Because of their proximity, Jaeyun's captivating scent brushes his nostrils.
Even his smell is divine. Jaeyun smells like a whole-ass garden filled with fragrant flowers.
Ethan's lips slowly formed a smirk when he noticed Jaeyun's sideway glances. He had heeded the stolen gazes Jaeyun was giving him earlier, but he disregarded it. But it's piercing his soul, so, to confirm his assumptions, Ethan manspreaded and elevated his hips, showing the prominent bulge on his crotch (not because he's already hard, but because there is a monster hiding underneath the thin fabric of his pants). He let out an amused chuckle that caught Jaeyun's attention when he saw how Jaeyun's adam's apple bobbed up and down as he watched Ethan's move earlier.
He placed the tea cup on the table in front of them, creating a thud sound when the ceramic bottom of the cup met the wooden table.
"I can see you glancing, Jaeyunie, is there any problem?"
Jaeyunie… Jaeyunie… Jaeyunie
The nickname made his mind whirl. His breathing staggered as he noticed the playfulness laced in Ethan's voice.
He gets it. Jaeyun gets it.
And within a blink, Jaeyun switched into something– someone– that regaled Ethan.
Gone is the innocence in his eyes. Gone is the gentleness in his voice. Gone is the purity in his smile.
Everything about him is now entwined with sinfulness.
"You did so well earlier, Hyung. You listened obediently to the priest and I wanna make you feel good as my reward. D'you want that?" Jaeyun seductively said as he slowly crawled down towards the gap of Ethan's thighs.
Ethan was surprised. Who would've thought that the renowned angel in their town hides something filthy.
"Mhm. Let's see how good my reward is." After Ethan said that, Jaeyun scrambled in his place as he eagerly unbuckled Ethan's belt. His fingers held the waistband of Ethan's pants and boxers and pulled it down. His jaw fell as the long, girthy, and veiny cock of Ethan was displayed right in front of his eyes.
"Are you gonna suck it or– ugh." Ethan groaned midway as Jaeyun licked his rosy tip. His neck slacked on the headrest of the couch as Jaeyun continued playing the slit on his shaft.
He fondled his balls like those mushy toys you can buy in the market, along with the long strokes of his tongue on Ethan's cock. He is teasing the older with his warm tiny tongue, lips slightly tracing the thin skin. There is a sly smile on his face as he watches Ethan lose his mind. His eyes lingered on the vein on Ethan's slender neck as the older tried hard to control himself.
Jaeyun let out a gagging noise when Ethan pushed his cock all the way in his mouth, the tip poking the back of his throat. It was painful, but it's the kind of pain that Jaeyun would surrender again and again to. Ethan didn't let Jaeyun recover from the sudden push and just fucked the younger's mouth to his content, until there is white spurts of cum drizzling Jaeyun's throat.
"Fuck…" Ethan mutters along with an amused chuckle as he watches Jaeyun swallow every drop of his cum, not letting anything go into waste. "You did so good too, Angel. Do you perhaps want a reward too?"
And like an eager dog wanting to have a treat, he nodded his head hastily.
"Bend over the table, Angel." Jaeyun immediately followed and positioned half of his body above the wooden table as he perched his ass high up.
"Oh!" Jaeyun moaned when Ethan slapped his ass, red marks immediately appeared on his delicate skin.
Jaeyun dreamt about this every night for so long. He would play with himself all night, dreaming that it was Ethan giving him the pleasure; That it was his cock drilling his hole; not the pink dildo he bought in their neighboring city; that it was Ethan's mouth engulfing his pink bud and cock, that it was his fingers stretching his rim. Jaeyun would always go nuts whenever he heard one of his schoolmates bragging about how good and inhumane Ethan fucks.
He wants to experience that too.
And finally, after months of torture, he is here bent down on his coffee table as Ethan eat his ass.
"Right there!" he grumbled when Ethan's digits hit his spot, that got his mind into a whirlpool. Ethan's eyes turned into slits as he watch Jaeyun's pink hole clenched his thick fingers. He is so warm and tight inside that he could feel his cock go hard again under his boxers.
That wasn't the end of their obscenity because it just got progressively worse as days passed by.
Just like now, instead of attending the mass like what they're supposed to do, they're here in Jaeyun's fluffy mattress instead. There are series of groans and moans coming out of Jaeyun's luscious lips as Ethan fuck his hole with his thick and long digits, while there are black leather straps looped all over Jaeyun's body, stopping the younger from moving and touching Ethan.
Even though Jaeyun isn't untarnished as what people think he is, he still feels guilty sometimes, but the guilt can't stop him when Ethan is like a blazing ball of fire and Jaeyun is a weak moth that is drawn to his heat.
He keeps succumbing to him.
Ethan is fucking his hole mercilessly making him moan in deep pleasure, but it's not enough. He feels full but not full enough. He wants Ethan to stretch his rim with his girthy shaft– but the older kept teasing him even though he asked– begged nicely.
His eyes fluttered open when he felt Ethan stand up on the bed. He wanted to protest, but he couldn't wait any longer. The man walked over to his pants and grabbed something inside. That thing seemed to glow under the dim light of Jaeyun's room, and his breath hitched when he saw what Ethan grabbed in his pants. His chest heaves up and down as another bolt of excitement and desire crawled in his mind and body.
He stayed silent as he laid pliant on his bed, patiently waiting for what Ethan will do next. But he is never ready for Ethan's schemes. Never. He let out a loud yelp when Ethan removed the leather coiled all over his body and slapped it multiple times on his scorching skin. Jaeyun’s body writhed underneath Ethan from the delicious pain. His jaw dropped open as a long-drawn-out moan escaped his throat when a cold, hard thing entered his slicked hole. Ethan was slowly thrusting it, waiting for Jaeyun's response, but when the younger continued to moan, Ethan did not hesitate anymore. Jaeyun watched as Ethan fucked his wet cavern with the handle of his stainless steel pocket knife. His eyes rolled at the back of his head when Ethan angled it up, hitting his sweet spot, abusing it again and again.
"W-Wanna… come– please!" Jaeyun gritted, tears streaming down his pink cheeks.
"What is it, angel? Tell me what you want me to do." Ethan smirked, still thrusting the knife into Jaeyun's hole.
"I want to come, E-Ethan. Please t-touch me… fuck me… h-hard." he managed to say along with the hard thrusts of the knife in him.
"The angel wants to be fucked so bad?" Ethan mockingly asked which Jaeyun answered with chants of Yes! Yes! Yes! "On your knees you needy, slutty bitch." Ethan growled.
As much as he wants to further tease the younger under him, he can feel his cock painfully twitching in anticipation.
Another moan came out of Jaeyun's throat as Ethan parted his cheeks to have a better view of his slicked pink hole, stretched and ready to accommodate Ethan's monster cock. Jaeyun shuddered under the older when he stroked his rim, applying pressure that got Jaeyun's mind numb. He is so sensitive from all the foreplay Ethan did to him that a slight touch from either his hole or cock could make him reach his climax already.
His head sunk between his shoulder blades when Ethan placed his cock on top of his hole, dragging it up and down, creating friction between their heated sex.
"Please, Ethan, fuck me," he begged, voice trembling from too much stimulation.
"Alright then, since you've asked nicely and you've been an obedient and patient slut for me."
Ethan slammed every inch of his cock in a blink into Jaeyun's hole, forcing a scream of pleasure out of the younger. Ethan sucked in a breath as he felt the warmth of Jaeyun's while the younger's a moaning mess from the feeling of fullness.
Jaeyun could feel himself reaching his climax, but before he could beg Ethan to let him reach his high, the younger blurted out something that literally made his visions turn white.
"You're so loud, Jaeyunie. Do you want your neighbors to know that their angel is getting a good fuck right now, Huh?"
He wanted to answer Ethan with a loud yes, but he couldn't form a sentence in his state. He is so fucked up that half of his body is laying flatly on his mattress. If not only because of Ethan's palm gripping the sides of his hips, the other half of his body would surely surrender too. Jaeyun's hole clenched Ethan when the older fastened his pace, drilling his hole with animalistic thrusts.
"You like that, angel? You like my cock hitting your spot repeatedly as I fuck your brains out?"
"Y-Yeah… h-harder please!" Jaeyun pants, beads of tears forming in his eyes.
Ethan withdraws his cock and changes their position so he can better see Jaeyun. He wasn't disappointed at the view served to him. Ethan mutters a low thank you (not audible enough for Jaeyun to hear) to his parents for bringing this beautiful man into his life.
"Go on… act like the fucking cockslut that you are." Ethan said as he watched Jaeyun lose his mind, tongue lolled out, spit dripping down his chin, and eyes crossed from too much pleasure.
Jaeyun looked through his long lashes and his skin burned at the sight of Ethan watching their bodies connect while his mouth is open as it retreats series of moans, his veiny hands gripping Jaeyun's milky thighs, and his chest heaving up and down. He doesn't slow down the drilling of his hips, abusing Jaeyun's spot. The younger couldn't do anything aside from moaning. His brain is so fucked up that all he could see is white, that all he could feel was the undying pleasure that Ethan is giving him. The older angled his hips up and hung Jaeyun's legs on his shoulder as he thrusted deeper so the both of them could feel the most pleasure from connecting their bodies.
Not long after, Jaeyun screamed Ethan's name as he came along with Ethan. The cum painting his insides made it more pleasurable for Jaeyun. He felt so full and stuffed that he didn't want Ethan to withdraw his cock.
This was one of the most intense orgasms both of them had.
"Holy shit. Angel, that was so good." were the last words Jaeyun heard before he passed out.
Because they never did it slow, always rough and fast, Ethan prepared ointments beforehand to treat Jaeyun's rim and wounds as the younger succumbed to deep slumber. Unlike earlier, he is moving so gently to not wake Jaeyun up. He's been so rough today and he doesn't want to interrupt his rest.
"Sleep well, Angel. You did so good today." Ethan whispered to the younger's ears as he cuddled the man tighter while peppering his temples with sweet kisses.
Taglist: @fancypeacepersona , @acousarah
#kpop icons#kpop layouts#kpop moodboard#kpop users#spotify#enhypen icons#kpop bios#cute symbols#enhypen wallpaper#moodboard kpop#heejake#heeseung#heeseung icons#jake icons#enhypen jake#enhypen smut#heeseung smut#jake smut
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Title: Stand By Me
Marshall knew your relationship with your mother was complicated.
You never talked about it much, but he noticed the way your body tensed when she called, the way your voice changed when you spoke to her. You’d plaster on a polite smile, but your eyes would dim, your shoulders would sink just a little.
At first, he didn’t push. He knew what it was like to have family issues, knew the guilt and obligation that came with it. But as time passed, he saw the way it weighed on you—how every conversation left you drained, how her words clung to you like poison long after the calls ended.
And he hated it.
Because he loved you. And watching someone tear you down, even if it was your own mother, made his blood boil.
But what could he do?
You were an adult. You had to navigate this on your own. So he did the only thing he could—he stayed by your side, ready to catch you whenever she knocked you down.
Until one night, he couldn’t stay silent anymore.
You hadn’t wanted to go.
Marshall could see it in your face when you told him your mom wanted to have dinner. The hesitation. The forced smile.
“You don’t have to go,” he reminded you gently.
“I know,” you sighed, “but it’s easier this way.”
That didn’t sit right with him. It never did.
But he didn’t argue. Instead, he grabbed his keys. “Then I’m coming with you.”
Your smile, this time, was real. “Thank you.”
The dinner started off tense.
Your mother was polite—too polite, the kind of fake sweetness that Marshall had learned to recognize. She complimented the restaurant choice, asked about your job, made a few passing comments about how ‘different’ you looked (Was that supposed to be a compliment?).
You did what you always did—nodded, smiled, answered her in that careful, measured way that told him you were just trying to get through it.
And then?
Then she started in on you.
“I just don’t understand why you’re so distant lately,” she sighed, swirling her wine glass. “I mean, I am your mother.”
You tensed. “I’ve just been busy.”
“Too busy to call? Too busy to keep up with your own family?”
Marshall clenched his jaw.
You let out a breath, clearly trying to stay calm. “Mom, let’s not do this here.”
“Oh, so now I can’t even ask questions? I’m just supposed to sit here and pretend I don’t notice how much you’ve changed?”
Your fingers gripped the edge of the table, your knuckles going white. “I didn’t change.”
Your mother scoffed. “Of course you did. You used to be so sweet, so considerate. Now it’s like you don’t even care.”
That was it.
Marshall had kept his mouth shut for as long as he could, but seeing the way her words broke you, the way your shoulders curled in like you were trying to disappear—he wasn’t letting that slide.
He leaned forward, voice low but dangerous.
“Nah. She didn’t change. She just stopped lettin’ you control her.”
Silence.
Your mother blinked, clearly taken aback. “Excuse me?”
Marshall didn’t back down. His gaze was steady, unwavering. “You act like she owes you somethin’ just ‘cause you’re her mother. But family ain’t supposed to make you feel like shit.”
Your breath hitched.
Your mother narrowed her eyes at him. “This isn’t your business.”
“The hell it ain’t.” His voice was calm, but there was steel behind it. “She’s my wife. When you hurt her, it is my business.”
You stared at him, your heart in your throat.
He wasn’t just defending you. He was protecting you in a way no one ever had before.
Your mother scoffed, setting down her glass with a sharp clink. “I see. So this is what it is now? You’re letting him turn you against your own mother?”
Marshall laughed under his breath, shaking his head. “She don’t need me to do that. You did it all on your own.”
The tension at the table was suffocating. Your mother looked like she wanted to argue, but Marshall wasn’t giving her the chance. He turned to you, his expression softening.
“You ready to go, baby?”
You hesitated.
Then, for the first time in your life, you nodded.
“Yeah. I am.”
Marshall placed a few bills on the table, grabbed your hand, and led you out of the restaurant without looking back.
You didn’t speak until you were in the car, his hand still wrapped around yours.
Then, finally, you whispered, “I don’t know what to say.”
He glanced over, squeezing your fingers. “You don’t gotta say nothin’.”
You swallowed hard. “No one’s ever stood up for me like that before.”
His jaw tightened. “They should have.”
You let out a shaky breath, your eyes shining. “Thank you.”
He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “Ain’t gotta thank me for that, baby. That’s just what you do when you love someone.”
Your chest ached, but for once, it wasn’t from hurt.
It was from knowing.
Knowing that no matter what happened, no matter who tried to tear you down—
Marshall would always be there to catch you.
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Facts about B.C Spree Killer Kam Mcleod
This one was an absolute pain in the ass to write as Kam's parents have been far more tight lipped about Kam in comparison to Bryer's dad. But here we go, i'll try my best. Some of this information is from Bryer's dad, or it is second hand from a mutual who has better understandings and connections than I and was kind enough to share information with me, you know who you are :D.
Kam actually had a girlfriend before he and Bryer left for their final road trip. For how long I'm not sure (but am infinitely curious). From here on out i'll call her redacted despite her name being published by some media.
He had an older sister who I will also not name for her sake.
From my understanding Redacted had wanted to go with Kam and Bryer but Kam had left without her. After which Kam shot her a text saying "Seriously sorry, but I'm not coming back.
Allegedly Kam did not want people to know him and redacted were dating (interesting lol.), his friends allegedly stated that redacted was hard to get along with.
Allegedly Redacted lied to the police, I think about whether or not she was supposed to go with Kam ( she was.)
Allegedly Redacted was stalking Kam's property after he died, and his sister told her to stop. redacted then told Kam's sister to kill herself like her brother.
Kam was either going to the local community college for welding or to work on the oil fields (from my understanding.)
Kam did not want to follow in his father's footsteps career wise, it is interesting to me that this was noted in the documents that were made public, it indicates noteworthy strife and conflict that the Mcleod's felt like mentioning in police interviews.
Kam loved league of legends (the murders are far less shocking now lol.)
Before the shootings, Kam's family had a lot of deaths in it, the most recent one; his grandmother, taking place mere months before the killing spree.
Kam had his PAL (gun license in Canada, and not surprising, his family is made up of hunters.) which is how both boys got their guns in the first place.
Kam started his high school at ADSS originally before going to an alternative education school before he graduated, for what reason I am not sure.
Kam had chickens.
His online handles include angelofdeath812, and shadow812
It appears he got to go to Thailand in 2015.
Kam totaled his Toyota 4x4 truck on April 14th, 2018 when he was stunt driving with Bryer and a friend that will remain unnamed. He only had the truck he was driving during the killings for a few months and allegedly was an inheritance.
According to Bryer's dad he had to be rescued with the Jaws of Life and airlifted to the hospital. He supposedly sustained head injuries due to this event.
Kam's friend Branden Mchale (public information by the CBC) described Kam as a really funny guy and a total gaming nerd.
His grandfather was Metis.
I believe Kam's great or great great grandmother was involved in a double suicide or murder suicide.
I'm not sure to what extent, but I know Kam watched anime.
To date, I have not been able to find any clip or videos of Kam talking so there's currently no way to publically to know what his voice sounded like (and I am forever curious).
If anyone procures any more info, or anyone who knew Kam or has info and doesn't want to post it themselves out of fear of drawing the townspeople's ire, feel free to DM me with receipts or pics and i'd be happy to post it. If I missed any info let me know.
#tccblr#true cringe community#tcctwt#tcc tumblr#teeceecee#tc community#tcc fandom#columbine 1999#kam and bryer#bryer schmegelsky#bryer and kam#kam mcleod#tee cee cee
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I have- a lot to say about Chapter Four, so-
I sound a bit salty, because I am, but I promise it’s all not that serious and it is just a game! Let’s all remember that and be respectful
⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD BIG RANT BELOW ⚠️
❌ There’s about to be a lot of negative so if you don’t want to see it skip to the positives! Totally fair! It came out yesterday and I was hyped and it didn’t meet my personal hype, so I am a bit salty ngl! So totally fair to skip ❌
I can’t really talk much about Yarnaby because his death was SUPER glitched? So I was kind of just like “…okay- I mean yikes for him but-“ I can’t even tell if it was something I did that made him burn? I’m someone who hates chase sequences (not because they’re bad I just get too stressed lmao) but his felt kiiiind of underwhelming? But again one of the places I assume he was supposed to be chasing was- glitched as all hell he didn’t chase me at all, but anyways, my son that I can’t draw, I’m so sorry
Pianosaurus- honestly? I didn’t give him the time of day during promos and such, and honestly now I’m ashamed I didn’t, I’m someone that needs time to just- stare at a character’s design for more than four seconds, just to picture their potential, and staring at his design after the fact, yeah, a MUSICAL chase scene? Are you KIDDING me?? I would’ve fucked with that, SO. HARD. I think Mob was trying to go for the funny route, that or just to show how unstable/strong Doey is, but- I don’t know maybe he could’ve come in and saved us.. after an actual chase scene? My man had ten seconds of life including the cutout, Mob hates dinosaurs fr
The Doctor- I don’t know man I wasn’t too hyped about him like- fight wise? But I knew he’d come with lore and it’d be a different kind of villain so I was still hyped in a sense, and- since I can’t say much about Yarnaby’s death- then the Nightmare Critters stuff? Like it was interesting he was playing with us, but he just dies so easily, like I guess it makes sense, he’s an immovable(?) computer, but for someone everyone expected to be the main villain, and who was talking so much shit to us the whole game, he was also kind of underwhelming, disappointing really the mindless drone computers was also all glitchy so I couldn’t tell you much there
Saved this for last (critique wise) because if you follow me/like my stuff you probably know I love the Nightmare Critters, they got me into actually drawing Poppy Playtime stuff instead of just fixating on the Smiling Critters but not drawing them, helped that I had finally gave in and watched chapter three (out of order.. I finally watched chapters one and two like a week ago, fake fan I know) in September, and then they came out in October
Maybe it’s dumb, but these stupid emo critters mean a lot to me for personal reasons, a lot more than they probably should, so to say I was excited was an understatement, and- the trailer didn’t give me high hopes, but I stayed hopeful, thinking maybe that tease of a Bigger Baba would lead to something? Like- “maybe she’s actually an ally! They did say multiple allies, she’s the black sheep of the Nightmare Critters! It makes sense! They have their own jingle made too, maybe there’s a commercial!” And then to not even get cutouts of them felt kind of like a stab in the heart
They started their big promotion of the chapter with a week long introduction and- nothing, and yes you can argue the same thing happened to the Smiling Critters in chapter three though comparatively they got way more than the Nightmare Critters, which they gave us more of in chapter four, but that’s just the thing, why make the Nightmare Critters in the first place then? It’s not like it’d tarnish the Smiling Critters’ brand, they were introduced AS antagonistic plushies trying to eat us, and if the idea was that they were such a failed attempt (in universe) at trying to attain the same popularity as the Smiling Critters.. why not say? Give us a note? A line? An acknowledgment besides them visibly attacking us to their existence? Even as a villain despite the symbolism Baba could’ve been a parallel to Catnap, something, but nope, she was just the main grunt character, like actually, that’s what her and the Nightmare Critters were, Yarnaby was a pet, they were like The Doctor sent out bugs to come at us, in the cage room they were just slightly bigger bugs, like what is that about by the way? Are they not Bigger Bodies? Are they the “main” Critters? Like tell us things about them please, even their little jingle is an Easter Egg there’s NO acknowledgment of them, at all, and to top it all off, no cutouts, when characters like Daisy have cutouts despite never being a character we face, why have us see the Smiling Critters cutouts again with the same dialogue- and all the other new characters get cutouts, but not the Nightmare Critters?? Why????? I dunno, it’s not that serious but it’s incredibly disappointing for me personally, as we had months of hype for- literally nothing
Edit: I have more to say actually, why the heck was Baba even advertised as different from the rest of the Nightmare Critters? In everything we get of them she’s in the middle, or the main focus, the spotlight, for.. what? She’s the only one attacking us? Like I just don’t get it, I still believe a better plot were to have her be a parallel to Catnap, because they’re similar situations in a way, Baba’s Prototype was just Dr. Sawyer instead, just.. minus having a hinted personality, but maybe this time, we could’ve saved her when we couldn’t Catnap or something? So like it’s not too similar, but I dunno, literally anything would’ve been better than what we got
✅ But! It wasn’t all bad, this chapter did have a bit of good in it that I enjoyed, case in point- ✅
Doey, GOD I love his colours, I jokingly hated him because I fucking hate drawing circles, and this man is nothing but circles, but my actual opinions pre release I just couldn’t wait to see him animated, I love characters that don’t have to deal with anatomy, I hate anatomy, stretch away king, but I didn’t have much of an opinion otherwise, then we find out he’s made up of three people? The lore is hot, his jingle is a bop also, the fact he killed his (well one of the people’s) parents, that was illegal, stop that, and I’m glad that he didn’t just agree with Poppy’s plan, but also I wish they talked about the long term? Say they defeat The Prototype, it’s not like they can go back into society, I’m surprised no one had that existential thought, his death though- a bit convoluted but yeah, also to my understanding The Prototype set off the bombs right? But we still planned to do it, just maybe we could’ve moved the Safe Haven guys out beforehand I dunno, but that was such a sad death, he said SORRY TO US. US???? BRO WE SUUUUUCK, RIP the king of this chapter
Safe Haven, omfg that was just such a cool concept to me, I guess you could say that it’s not really original but I don’t really care about all that, kind of wish there was more of a variety of toys in it though (yeah I know there were a couple Boogie Bots and a Mini Huggy but it was still clearly Smiling Critters focused y’know? I swear I don’t hate the SC guys I’m just trying not to be biased towards them) I’m glad they had a memorial room, and it’s SO lucky of them to have a doctor I don’t know how if they were all children but that doctor is the goat, in the thumbnail of the trailer they make a point to show that Doey could put things in himself, and we also know from tapes that he can make it where others can’t, surely there’s big enough cracks to where he could go up in the surface and lowkey rob a store to get them food right? Pretty please? Give these people food T^T ALSO I’m glad they actually talked, I didn’t expect that to be honest, yay :3
I was not expecting to see BBI Hoppy but I’m so glad we did, my fav Smiling Critter hiiiiii :3, I love her voice, and it makes me wonder if she was the last Critter besides Dogday and Catnap, because maybe they would’ve mentioned the others if they were alive? I dunno, but I’m just glad to see her
Bouncing off of those two points ^, we got more Smiling Critters shit!! Not much in the grand scheme of things, but we got a whole BBI Hoppy tape, a blurry image of I thiiiiink BBI Bubba on one of the TV screens, and an entire room full of the little Smiling Critters, that counts probably, we got more that makes me happy :3
Out of order but seeing that Kissy in the train car- omfg I think that was who Riley from the notes was- RIP Queen, Jesus-
By the way I WILL be using the fact that Touille’s tail is lowkey kind of like Catnap’s that shit is so long, we sure he’s not an opossum lol?
The jingles made by Black Gryphon slaaaapped bro, make them longer puhleaseeeee 🙏
Kissy Missy, send tweet, she’s alive my angel she’s so TRAUMATIZED go AWAY PROTOTYPE
Poppy joining the realistic panic attack club- I don’t blame her for running, and I don’t think any of us should, we the player suck LMAO we deserve this, it was sad for Kissy though the queen
Also people saying fuck Ollie- why? Ollie was real, it’s The Prototype that did all that, not him, leave him alone he’s a bean
I kind of expected Huggy Wuggy was alive, these fucking wuggies are made of titanium I guess, what if the two reunite? They should give each other a hug with their long velcro paw pads, that’s what should happen Kissy and Huggy need to hug as probably the only BBI’s left (presumably, if Boxy is alive we cheer)
As disappointed in the chapter as I am, as it was my first time seeing it release live, it wasn’t all bad, maybe I could better judge some parts when they fix the glitching
I am working on some more drawings! Sorry I’ve slowed, I’m still not used to drawing so much lowkey, at least not like fully colouring and even doing backgrounds, if you couldn’t tell I only ever really do sketches lol, but yeah sorry things slowed I think I hurt my hand somehow, but sorry for the rant! I can get really ramble-y I’ve just never had a place to do so, despite my opinions I won’t be stoping posting art! So fret not, anyways, byeeeeeee!
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 4#poppy playtime spoilers#yarnaby#pianosaurus#harley sawyer#nightmare critters#doey the doughman#rant post#froagtalks#more like#froagrants
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Parasocial Predator
Hey all! Had this idea earlier and quickly wrote this out. The celebrity I used is Alec Benjamin (a pop artist you should definitely check out), but they’re really interchangeable with any other celebrity. As always, send any requests you may have and let me know how I can improve! Enjoy.
The first thing I need to get out of the way is that in no way is this a parasocial relationship. Alec knows who I am: he’s liked my comments on his posts, I met him at a meet and greet once, and he’s seen me drive through his neighborhood a couple of times when I make sure he stays safe. One time, Alec even responded to one of my comments on Instagram with, “I love you, thanks for the support!” which validates that, in fact, this is a very real relationship that Alec and I have forged over the past several years. He knows who I am—his number one fan—and I know he loves me. Unfortunately, as a celebrity, he can’t show that, so that brings us to today. My plan, which will go off without a hitch, is to meet Alec in his tour bus in order to charm him and finally get together with him.
I’ve followed him on tour, eventually picking out his tour buses on the road and the one in which he stayed after several weeks. It was early afternoon, and he was supposed to perform tonight at a sold out show. He was such a rockstar. That’ll be the second thing I do: congratulate him for being so great. First though, I wanted to ask which of his songs I’ve inspired because I can think of at least ten. He really is such a charmer. A huge portion of the fanbase doesn’t deserve to listen to him and how great he is, which is really unfortunate because Alec is too nice to tell them otherwise. Still, I’ve got a plan to sweep him off his feet and have us be together forever.
I waited quietly in the back of the bus. Alec and his team had stopped at a rest stop somewhere off a highway to go to the bathroom and get snacks and stretch their legs before finishing the journey. This absence from the bus meant that I could easily sneak on when nobody was looking. Honestly, I think Alec knew I would be coming because he left his sweatshirt for me on the seat of the bus. I put it on and took a deep whiff, smelling him so purely that I sighed in deep, deep pleasure. I got lost in his scent so much that I didn’t even notice Alec get back on the bus before anyone else.
“Who are you?” he asked, uncertainty in his voice. I knew he was cheeky, but playing this hard to get so early? Come on, sweetie, you can do better than that!
“Alec!” I bellowed and raced towards him in a hug. “It’s good to see you, gosh, you look so much better in person up-close,” I brushed his hair back and held him close to me. He gave me a wide-eyed look, probably in shock because he didn’t expect to meet me so soon. I get it, though, and I wasn’t going to hold it against him. I would be at a loss for words too if I had suddenly met the love of my life on the tour bus.
I positioned myself at the entrance to the bus so nobody could get in and come between us. Alec’s eyes shifted out the curtained windows, most likely making sure that nobody would see us in this illicit relationship. All of Alec’s trashy fans would probably get too jealous, so it only makes sense that he would make sure that no one else was around who could witness this. The next thing he did was somewhat confusing, but he brought out his phone and dialed a number. I could see he was shaking a little, and my fierce protectiveness for Alec kicked in. I strode up quickly to my beloved and snatched the phone out of his hand. He was calling his security (probably to make sure no one attacked us while we were in here), and he was scared as a lamb!
“Oh, Alec,” I hugged him tight, smelling him more closely now, “it’s okay, let me take care of you. Here, I have just the thing.”
Now, before I tell you what I was about to do, let me explain myself. Alec is an amazing singer/songwriter, and the world doesn’t appreciate him as well as I do. Alec is also on the smaller side, so many dangerous things could hurt him and impact his ability to do what he most loves after me: music. To this end, I thought: “what better way to protect my love than keep him close to me at all times?” So, on that thought, I kissed him softly on the mouth and stretched my jaw over and around his head. He instantly started wildly thrashing, probably because my baby was excited to be in my stomach. I gulped heavily, bunching his shoulders up and sending them down my gullet. I could feel him yell with what I assumed was pleasure and excitement at being in his new boyfriend’s belly. My saliva soaked through his clothes, as admittedly, I had been wanting to do this for several years now, ever since I first saw him in concert. Now that my dreams had come true and he wanted to be in a relationship with me, I could finally do this! I swallowed again, sending Alec’s small torso down into my mouth. He really wasn’t that big (which is why he needed someone larger than him—me—to protect him), but he fit perfectly in my gut. I could already feel his head and shoulders spill into my stomach chamber, which felt really nice. Alec was wriggling already from the inside of my gut, unable to keep his excitement in, most likely. I choked down more of him quickly, as the position he was in was probably making some blood rush towards his head, and I was not going to facilitate any misfortune upon my sweet angel of a boyfriend. Slurping up his legs like noodles, I took off Alec’s shoes and gulped the rest of the singer into my stomach. It ballooned out heavily, but my six pack was something I was more than okay with parting with if it meant I got to be next to Alec at all times of the day. Alec’s sweatshirt clung on to my chest, but my belly was now far too big to be contained by the piece of clothing. Still, I wore it happily, knowing it was a gift from Alec.
“What are you doing?” Alec shouted from inside. “Let me go! Please!”
I rubbed my belly and wore a pained expression. My sweet angel didn’t realize that this was for the best for him right now. Even though Alec was squirming around, making the heft of my gut sway and wobble slightly, I couldn’t help but notice how wonderfully he looked attached to my middle. Though, all of his movements were kicking up a lot of gas.
BBBUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPP “---Sweetheart, please,” I chided. “Calm down in there. Let’s get you back home, okay?”
Some of you may believe that moving in together this soon is a little crazy, and to that I’d simply tell you that you don’t understand the bond Alec and I share. We’re (quite literally) inseparable. I got back into my car that I used to follow him on the road, and, somewhat uncomfortably, I maneuvered around my seat until my belly wasn't pressing up against the steering wheel. This would probably have to be how I drove from now on, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Love is full of sacrifices, you know. I spoke to Alec softly on the way home, asking him about his life so far, childhood memories, and all of the mundane, beautiful things about living. He seemed reluctant to answer, but I chalked that up to him being tired from a long day. Now that he was in my warm, comforting belly though, he would be able to rest peacefully and sleep as much as he wanted.
Along the drive home, I bought some McDonalds, which wasn’t the healthiest for my baby, but on the road, you make do. I swallowed a few of the burgers whole, wrapper and all so Alec could have some dinner in his own tummy while I had mine already in there. Thinking about it now, it would be a little uncomfortable for Alec to be with me while I digested my other food (that’s what happened with my old roommate. He didn’t want Alec living with us, so he had to go), but again, love requires sacrifices. My belly was really noisy with the sounds of gurgling and churning, but I knew Alec wouldn’t digest. Still, that didn’t mean my belly didn’t want to assimilate him into my body. He was simply too important to digest, though. An idle hand rubbed my boyfriend-filled belly for the rest of the night-ride home with pure love and affection.
Getting back to my apartment, I undressed and flopped onto bed with Alec. The movement jostled my stomach heavily, waking him back up. I think he was having a bad dream about being captive and kidnapped, which frightened me tremendously, but that is precisely why Alec is safer in my stomach than the real world. People are crazy out there, and it could’ve easily happened to Alec. I rubbed my belly soothingly and told him time and time again that this was where he belonged, that I would treat him right, and no harm would come to him. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep, kissing my own belly and looking forward to Alec and I’s new life together.
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truthfully rafael doesn’t really know how to respond to venus right now. he knows no amount of reassurance will help repair the damage to the relationship that his life have caused. he’d say that his heart was in the right place, but did it matter? “cheating on olivia was not something i can say i’m proud of and no one deserves that. it isn’t something that I thought would go as far as it did.” he figures is time to so much explain what happened with the emails for the first time on his own account. “i was only talking to the woman at first, it didn’t start out with cheating in mind and it ended just as quick as it started. by the time olivia found the messages I had already cut off communication. i know how to be devoted, olivia and i had a lot of unresolved arguments, a lot of things we put to the side to talk about later— i’m blame for that she wanted me to be less avoidant and i wanted to her to relax more…you start seeing an older woman right after you decide that you don’t want to just have fun anymore, things get serious. i thought— well this must be it. i’ve figured it out.” he goes quiet, wondering how he got here, back at square one, not just with venus, but in general. always trying to do the right thing, trying to make the right decisions and never quite getting it right. failing at marriage and having not learned much, clearly. “i try not to avoid things too much with you, and my intentions are never to hurt you. i thought i was doing the right thing waiting to tell you about that. what you saw as a open opportunity to tell you about the emails; i saw differently. i didn’t wanna ruin our time together. it wasn’t a secret at least it wasn’t supposed to be. i needed the time to be right. i didn’t just wanna say: i cheated on my ex-wife through email. while,i’m sure sorry doesn’t mean anything, i really am sorry for not telling you sooner and that you had to find out the way you did. i’m doing to you what I did to olivia and that’s not fair.” as for chris she’s right. he does think they still have a shot. rafael knows that his jealousy can be amusing to others, chris especially. venus doesn’t take him seriously either. “christopher does have a shot, maybe not dating wise but he has a shot with you. you’ve said that yourself. still, i think my problem with him is valid. you don’t shy away from touching him either. “i’m trying to be better when it comes to communicating because I don’t want to fail again and lose you too, just because i’m worried about the outcome.”
“i’d say yes, it interests me because i haven’t really ever considered it. it’s a foreign concept to me. i don’t think anything casual is my thing? then, there’s you… i met you.” rafael believes that he can’t fully embrace the bachelor life because being with venus in any capacity makes him want to profess his love to her, knowing that it’s too early to do such a thing. being trapped in this elevator, and having deep conversations isn’t necessarily helping him pull back. “christopher gets under my skin in a way that no one has ever been able to and it’s really starting to annoy me.” he pauses, furrowing his brows. “i care about you and i know who you are and what it is you do. i know people are going to be attracted to you and flirt. christopher rattles me up to the brink of visible anger. i can’t even describe it without sounding idiotic.” rafael is grateful for her patience and genuine concern. he can tell she’s worried about him and wants to do whatever she can too keep him relaxed. the conversation and reassurance that they’ll eventually get out is helping him a lot. he looks at her sincerely. “i thought i was protecting what we had. i shouldn’t have lied. you tell me everything, i should’ve given you the same courtesy.”
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w-what do you mean season 3 of the bear will be the last one?
#the bear#the bear fx#the bear hulu#the bear season 3#the bear truly is found family irl#how am i supposed to go on with my life after this#christopher storer#i beg you make it 4 full season please#the bear is over soon#crying session at 2 o'clock at my house
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genuinely what the fuck am i supposed to do with my life now
#being trans queer and disabled in america rn is lovely#i fucking hate everything#how am i supposed to just go about my life after this#us politics#the usa#usa#donald trump#us elections#riv ranting
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Finished IWTV. I will need 3-50 business days to recover. I thank you for your patience
#RIDICULOUS#ridiculous show#how am I supposed to do anything ever again#I was going to do a watch along type thing on here but ended up not having the energy after eps because… uh have you seen the show#but I think this pretty much sums everything up#I LOVED IT ALL BTW#not sure if that part was clear lmao#I really thought Lestat was going to die#what happened was so much worse (in a very good way)#heartbreaking etc. but so good and heart MENDING. incredible stuff#never though loustat was going to loustat like that at the end but here we are#this show is my life now and for the foreseeable#art most definitely incoming btw stay tuned folks#madzillus babble#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv s2#iwtv spoilers
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mindless rambling in tags don't mind me
#not art post#rambling in tags because i can and its MY BLOG#anyway its about tdp *waits* ok for the three of you that actually care#someone retweeted one of my threads from 2019 after s2 dropped (imo the BEST tdp season) and i reread it#and tbh i am still right about viren's characterization#obviously canon changed some things but TO BE REAL..... i dont care what the writers say bc i had beef since s3#how am i supposed to believe any viren and callum parallels and callbacks when they..... havent talked since when?#and uhhh viren's demise lol i expected it but wow i am not happy with the lead up to it#more cool and eloquent people put it in better words on twitter and probably tumblr too idk i just say things and hope they make sense#anyway viren is still the very real traumatized angry severely depressed old man from s2... his life was just revealed to be so much worse#like damn. he was poor he was orphan he got divorced and then a stupid mirror started ruining his life even more#yes the mirror was the start of it why do you think aaravos revealed himself after viren's firey break down#aaravos went i can make him worse and ran with it#should viren go to prison? yeah i never once denied that lmao but god he and his family were really the ones to suffer in the show#at least viren is gone so i can just *plucks him out of the dirt and morphs him into my own oc* (im for real)#i got maybe more to say but this is long and im lazy and im not too smart so i will just move on#i will watch s7................................... i GUESS and if you find salt i will probably be there lol
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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