#how am I supposed to obsess with this kind of schedule??
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
peterbazooca · 1 year ago
Text
At this point I'm just treating this blog as a dumping ground for pieces of a fic I would write if I had the time/energy pls enjoy my humble offerings, these bastards have bewitched me body and soul
In the wake of the fight with Cazador, Ronen was as brittle as a glass figurine. The aftereffects, he supposed, of coming so close to losing Astarion. When they had burst into the ritual chamber, when Cazador had trapped Astarion in that beam of light, his heart had stopped beating. Even when they’d managed to pull him out, even when, clothed in nothing but a tattered pair of breeches, he had joined them in their fight against his former master, Ronen's heart remained a still, dead thing. It wasn’t until Cazador lay bleeding and dead, truly dead, at their feet, with the eyes of seven thousand vampire spawn on them, that Ronen had felt the cursed muscle remember itself and come to life once more.
After urging the spawn to take to the Underdark,Karlach had rustled up a cloak to wrap around Astarion’s shoulders until they could locate his armor, and the vampire had pulled the material in tight, shielding himself from their gaze, refusing to look any of them in the eye.
One more blow like that, and Ronen feared he would shatter completely.
It was a quiet journey back to their temporary campsite by the river. Ronen was eager to get back to their rooms at the Elf Song, but none of them were in any condition to travel that far, not with the trails of blood they were leaving on the cobblestones on their solemn march through the quiet nighttime streets.
As soon as they made it back, Astarion peeled away, the bloodied cloak balled in his fist, fiddling with the buckles of his armor like he longed to strip it from his body but refused to succumb to the urge. Ronen watched him pace the puddles by his tent, his hair a matted tangle, his skin sallow in the moonlight, until something like heat reached inside him and let him know he was no longer alone.
“I’m glad to see you all back in one piece,” Halsin greeted him, his voice a soothing rumble against the cracks growing inside of him.
Ronen wondered who it was that had taken on the task of filling the druid in on their trip to Cazador's palace, but the thought fell away from him without much effort. He couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off Astarion, but he let himself lean, just a bit, against the large, warm elf at his side. He fought for words, something he could offer Halsin, something he could offer himself. A monumental task, considering comfort had never been a part of his life.
“He looks so untouchable, Halsin, and all I want to do is hold him. Tell him I’m proud of him.” It felt silly to say it out loud, but that didn’t make it any less true.
“There will be opportunity for that yet, my heart, but you must give him time. What he’s been through today, turning his back on all that power…his soul remains intact, but he must still mourn for what he’s lost.”
Halsin’s words shook something loose inside of him. His brittle flesh felt more stable. Just a bit. Ronen breathed deep and tore his eyes from Astarion’s pale, pacing figure.
“You’re right. I know you’re right.” He rustled up a smile for the elf. “It’s part of why I keep you around.”
Halsin smirked.
“I think I may have a guess or two at the other reasons.” A large, warm hand landed on the nape of Ronen’s neck. “Will you sit with me a while? I’m working on a new carving that’s giving me a bit of trouble. Some company would go a long way to easing my vexation.”
Ronen allowed himself to be led—willingly, always willingly—in the direction of Halsin’s tent.
“Oh? Another stubborn duck giving you trouble?”
Halsin’s grip on his neck tightened. “No, a fox this time. I found an intriguing bit of rosewood on the road here and I’ve been working at it for quite some time.”
Ronen’s smile was the first effortless one he could remember in quite some time. He had always liked foxes.
14 notes · View notes
muletia · 12 days ago
Text
[tfp] obsessed!optimus prime x human!reader
summary: you had to go on a business trip. optimus doesn't take it too well
cw: obsessed!optimus, hardcore pinning, angst, i wanted to practice writing dialogues and it shows lmao
word count: 1800
an: i want you guys to know that i am reading EVERY reblog and comment from you swirling my hair and kicking my legs like a schoolgirl
Tumblr media Tumblr media
you are so real for that anon
Tumblr media
When you, out of your own free will, expressed the desire to join him on patrol, Optimus was overjoyed. You rarely got the chance to be together, just the two of you, always consumed by work or saving the world. And although Optimus wouldn’t dare ask you outright to accompany him on patrols (because the last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable), he deeply longed to spend more time with you alone. He knew he was feeding only his own illusions, fueling the machinery of madness, but by this point, he couldn’t stop. Not when you sat comfortably on his seat, gazing at the views outside the window, visibly content with your outing together.
He wanted so badly for this to be your everyday reality. Maybe then he could finally find some relief from his fixation, maybe you would even save him.
"Hey," you started, and his entire attention focused on you. "Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while."
Oh.
Did your feelings match his? Did you feel affection for him as well? Had you noticed his suffering? Or maybe you wanted to reject him, once and for all, to make him understand that his passion was an illusion, that no matter how much he wanted it, the two of you could never be together — too incompatible, too different. That he had developed this coping mechanism, exhausted by the war.
But before Optimus could spiral further, you crushed his hopes.
"The company I work for is sending me on a business trip," you sighed, clearly dissatisfied with the news. "It’s supposed to take two weeks, but you never really know with these trips, especially since they’re sending me across the continent."
"I understand," he replied, his tone not betraying the turmoil within. "What does this business trip involve?"
"Oh, shoot, sorry! I should have explained that right away," you laughed casually as if you hadn’t just delivered news that shattered his spark. "Business trip is assigned by an employer for training sessions, conferences, exhibitions, and other boring stuff. Kind of like a mission, but without explosions, action, or danger."
It was good to hear that you’d be safe, though you would truly be safest only at the base, under his watchful optics.
Pessimistic, ugly thoughts churned in his processor. Of all the things he expected to hear from you, this wasn’t one of them. Suddenly, he feared being alone, feared his own dreams. Because he knew you wouldn’t be there to comfort him after a nightmare, and nothing else could bring him peace.
"I am sorry to hear we will not see each other for two weeks," he said, "but I am confident you will do exceptionally well on this assignment. You are dependable, unyielding. You can handle anything."
"Oh, thank you," you answered, a bit flustered. You hadn’t expected a compliment. "It just makes me sad to leave Jasper. I don’t say it often enough, but I have a wonderful time with all of you. With you."
"Likewise, [Name]. When are you leaving?"
"The day after tomorrow. Tomorrow after work, I’ll say goodbye to everyone else."
So soon. Too soon. He’d hoped you wouldn’t leave until next week, to at least give him time to mentally prepare for the separation, but you denied him that luxury. Not that any amount of time would have prepared him for this.
Slowly, subtly enough that you wouldn’t notice the change, he reduced his speed, prolonging your shared drive.
"I’m not sure I’ll have time to write," you warned. "Unfortunately, they’ve given me a really tight schedule. But! If I can, I’ll write to the kids. Oh, and expect some souvenirs — I’ll bring something back for you all."
"You do not need to spend your valuable time searching for trinkets. But if you insist, I will cherish anything you bring me."
"Aw, don’t worry—it’ll be no trouble." You waved your hand dismissively. "You do so much for me, for the kids, for the whole Earth without asking for anything in return. You deserve something nice."
"I do not protect your planet for glory or offerings."
"I know, I know. That’s very noble. And amazing. So many years, sticking firmly to your values."
He eagerly soaked up your praise, allowing himself, if only for a brief moment, to forget the world around him, to forget his duties, unfulfilled promises, fallen brothers and sisters. He’d never describe himself as 'amazing', nor did he believe the praise his own kind gave him about his greatness. But for you, he could believe it. If only for a moment, a few seconds, so that you’d leave on your mission thinking warmly of your time together and of him.
"Thank you, [Name]. Please know that I value your words tremendously."
"Oh," you blushed, "that’s nice to hear."
Embarrassed, you quickly changed the subject, unaware that Optimus was watching you closely, curious about your reaction. For now, he pushed thoughts of your departure to the back of his processor, wanting to fully enjoy your presence. You recommended songs from the country genre, one of his favorite discoveries on Earth, which he promised to listen to later. He knew well that this would lead to more daydreaming, imagining a future that would never be. Because no matter how hard he tried, his tomorrow would not be entwined with yours. His desires would forever remain mere fantasies born out of desperation, longing, and sorrow.
Tumblr media
A week had passed since you left. In the lives of the Autobots, not much had changed because of your absence; they went on with their chaotic schedule. The kids, however, missed you. No more evenings spent helping them with their homework, working on your reports, playing games, or simply chatting. The worst part was that no one really knew what was going on with you. You rarely messaged, didn’t have time to talk, and when you did, it was just to say, "I’m alive, it’s boring, I’ll message you on Thursday." Life continued, despite how much Miko wished she could play games with you instead of doing her homework.
Everyone managed to adapt to your absence.
With one exception.
At first glance, it seemed like Optimus, the bot with whom you shared the closest bond, hadn’t been affected by such a drastic change. Nothing in his behavior indicated any longing. He didn’t express his opinion on the matter, didn’t ask, didn’t demand. As always, he buried his feelings deep within, playing the role of a diligent leader, hiding from everyone the nightmares running through his processor, now even more intense because of your absence.
He was withering, quietly and alone.
Until now, he had been content simply watching you. He had established a routine, unhealthy as it was, that kept him going. He knew that most of the time when he returned from patrol or a mission, you would be at the base. Even if you came every other or every third day, Optimus knew that eventually, you would show up. It gave him a sense of stability amidst the chaos surrounding him. But now? Maybe two weeks wasn’t a big challenge for you, but he was done after one.
Now, he wanted to be more than a passive observer. He craved physical contact, to hold you close, to feel your heartbeat against his metal. He wanted to know you were alive, to feel your pulse under his digit, to listen to its rhythm, to understand how your chest moved against his metal. He wanted to feel, taste, touch, enter.
He kept glancing at the spot on the couch where you usually sat with your laptop on your lap or spent time with the kids as if hoping that if he looked just one more time, you would materialize there. That everything would return to normal, that he wouldn’t suffer so much, that you would give him the daily dose of antidote he needed to function without plunging deeper into despair. But no matter how many times he looked, you weren’t there, and wouldn’t be for another week.
At some point, however, someone noticed their leader’s miserable mood.
"I can’t quite figure out what kind of bond you have with that woman," Ratchet said, pausing his work to look at Optimus. Before his friend could answer, he continued, "But she’ll be back soon. And whatever she’s doing, she’ll do it well. She’s tough."
"Thank you, old friend. I have no doubt in her abilities. But I would feel better if she were stationed closer to the base in case of a Decepticon attack."
"Mm-hmm," the medic scoffed. "Sure, that’s all it’s about."
Optimus had no response to that. He wasn’t surprised that Ratchet noticed his infatuation, but he would prefer that his friend not delve into the details of their relationship. At least, not yet. Not while Optimus himself was a wreck.
"Hey, hey! [Name] messaged!" Miko yelled.
The Autobot leader immediately approached the platform, finally abandoning his conversation with Ratchet, aware that it would only spark more suspicions. But he didn’t care anymore, not in such an important moment.
He stood directly behind Miko, with Bumblebee and Bulkhead beside him, equally curious to know what you had been up to over the past week.
"She sent photos, too! Look!"
Miko turned to show the messages to the others but paused when she noticed Optimus’s helm close to her.
“Whoa,” she whispered, surprised that out of all the bots, he was the one standing the closest. She swallowed, but her confidence quickly returned.
Holding her phone firmly, she displayed a close-up selfie of you. You were smiling, though the bags under your eyes betrayed that you were sleep-deprived, probably exhausted.
Optimus felt the accumulated stress, pain, and longing of the past week slowly dissipate. Everything was fine with you. You were alive, pushing forward with a smile on your face, happy to simply exist. Admiring your photo didn’t compare to seeing you in person, but it let him vent a little easier, granting him a brief respite from worry, gnawing at him from within. It was enough. For now. For a moment.
“She sends her regards to everyone,” Miko went on, “Oh, and she also asked Ratchet to take a break and mentioned she already bought a gift for Optimus and can’t wait to come back. Hey, I want a present, too!”
Optimus couldn't be certain if another week apart wouldn’t inflict even more damage on his processor and spark, or if longing would eventually consume him entirely. But he knew he was already lost, that you held sway over every aspect of his life. He was wrapped around your finger, tethered by a leash you didn’t even realize existed. And he didn’t mind one bit.
346 notes · View notes
leeknowslaughh · 4 months ago
Text
SPOILERS!!!!!!
I have so many feelings about this latest chapter!!!!
First! Sakura and his unintentional rizz is killing me
Tumblr media
Baby boy Endo is not a safe human (although I have a feeling Satoru Nii is going to FORCE me to like him by the end of this arc). His love obsession with Sakura is SO understandable. Like I get it. Sakura is my favorite too! (Suo , Hiragi, Ume, Kaji, Nirei, please look away). I LOVE Sakura’s kindness and forgiving nature, I think it’s one of the best things about his character. But I also hate that Endo is on the receiving end of it maybe that’s just me
SECOND!
UMEMIYA MY DARLING NEXT WEEK WILL TEAR ME APART I JUST KNOW IT
Tumblr media
I am not mentally prepared but also how am I supposed to wait???? Like to read this chapter I literally scheduled out a fake Zoom meeting at my work so I could read in the conference room in peace.
Am I supposed to try and be normal for a whole week? I don’t know if that’s possible.
ALSO the ARTWORK!!!!! Satoru!!!! Wow!! I LOVE of expressive his work is and UMEMIYA LOOKS BREATHTAKING AND ANGRY AND I AM HERE FOR IT
Tumblr media
This part too, like Takiishi’s design is phenomenal and the pure CRAZY radiating off of him in this is perfection.
And good lord Endo pull yourself together
In summary: this chapter was once again amazing. The artwork was perfect, the writing is going in an amazing direction and I’m REALLY looking forward to next chapter. Umemiya is still my beloved and I can’t wait to watch him kick ass
238 notes · View notes
onlyseokmins · 2 years ago
Text
a tiger's dominion [2] • k.s.y.
"Some days you tame the tiger, and some days the tiger has you for lunch."
Tumblr media
Pairing: kwon soonyoung x afab!reader Genres: porn with PLOT (minors dni!), camstars!au, university!au, best friends/idiots!au, goofy comedy, cheesy fluff, and angst Warnings: cam shows and camera sex obv, swearing, me thinking I'm funny, sex toys, alcohol, food, gym/exercises (reader works out), innuendos, perv behavior from everyone ngl, boob obsession, switch!Hoshi and reader, light-hearted threats, denial of feelings and lots of advice, subpar communication, spicy shower time, insecurity, lots of pet names, mentions of dacryphilia, fingering (fem. receiving), nipple pinching/pulling, slapping, spanking, crying after sex bc it feels good, lil bit of pain/temp play, multiple orgasms, grinding, dry (wet) humping, thigh riding, slight ab riding, face-sitting, slight punishment (?), nasty and messy 69, marking, slight possession, titty job, squirting, spit play, cum-eating, and it's just WET MESSY SEX FILTHY GRRR with a touch of sleepy after-care WC: 21.3k A/N: finally!!!!!!!!!!! the long awaited part 2!! this is such a huge labor of love for me despite the many hurdles, i am so proud and happy to post it finally! i would like to give a huge thank you to @duhnova and @onlymingyus for doing the big deed of beta'ing for me. without their help this would be an even worse mess ajdkfs <3 so so appreciated and a big thank you to the anons, readers, and kind blogs that left so many nice tags on the first part, i hope you enjoy the continuation just as much and look forward to the finale!!
➯ a tiger's dominion ◇ [teaser] ◇ [part 1]
Tumblr media
Seokmin's a safe bet. 
He's clumsy, awkward, and kind of weird enough to distract people from the fact that he is absurdly handsome and his endearing nature easily melts everyone's heart. You like Seokmin a lot, you really do. 
Plus, he's a taken man, and that makes it even better for him to be the one to drive you out to the repair shop. The same one that he was ever so kind in recommending to help you save money.
Seokmin's best boi.
But you kind of wish he would shut up.
"You're telling me that the guy you've had the hots for — mind you, for eons — admits to jerking off to your sexy videos… and all you say in response is 'great'?" 
You cross your arms in defense, thankful the car's stopped at a red light when he throws his hands up in the air in disbelief. "What was I supposed to say? And it has not been eons."
"As long as I've known you, you've liked him. And that has been many, many, many years."
"We've been friends for a little over two, Seok. Besides… it's not like I 'like' him like that entirely."
Lee Seokmin. Better known to some as Dokyeom or DK. He's a fan-favorite and still rated number one on Svthub's audio porn section despite the sudden "retirement" announcement a couple of months ago. You're more familiar with the joint viewer account he shares with his girlfriend though — deathbyd1cks — and the expensive gifts they love to send.
They taught you a lot about the streaming world. The do's-and-don'ts. How to gain and maintain viewership, safety, and money. You hadn't expected to end up with mentors (turned sugar daddy and mommy, let's be honest) when you'd messaged his girlfriend — who was single at the time — for advice. Neither had you anticipated being the leading factor in pushing them to confess their feelings for one another. 
Nor could you have guessed they were locals attending the downtown city's university, not too far from your own. But here you were and boy — were you grateful to them. Because they were now dear friends. Although you saw Seokmin in person a lot more than you were able to see his girlfriend lately, as his schedule this semester was much freer than hers. Hence why he was the solo figure driving you out today.
"I can't wait to watch this stream," Seokmin mumbles as he excitedly taps his fingers against the steering wheel. "If you're already super dick-drunk now, imagine what's gonna happen when the real thing's in front of you. I'm tingling!"
You scowl. "Why are you more excited about this than I am? And I am not dick-drunk!"
"Because you're gonna see his dick — that you're totally drooling over — in the flesh… speaking of which, you're both all tested and clean, right?"
"It's not like I don't already know about ninety percent of his sexscapades as it is." You roll your eyes at the reproachful tone he uses when saying your name. "Yes, of course, he sent me his latest results and everything's fine. And you already know about me."
You hear him hum in agreement. His girlfriend really likes you — so much that she even offered to invite you to become part of a potential threesome. Not even for a camera act but out of pure (as pure as you can get with that kind of request) intent. 
Of course, you declined though. As much as you loved them and were flattered by becoming somewhat of their sugar baby, you had rather strict rules on engaging in any sexual activities with your friends. Or anyone for that matter. Regardless of how tempting. 
Until now.
Your head thumps against the headrest of the seat. "Why the fuck am I doing this to myself?"
"Doesn't have to be this agonizing. From the vibes I'm getting, he's into you. Definitely thinks you're attractive."
"This isn't some fanfic where the best friends fuck and there's this grand reveal that they've had mutual feelings for one another all this time."
"You don't know that."
"Don't make me question reality, Seokmin — my problems are real and there's no way there's some silly little author out there with their evil mind deliberately making me go through all this shit."
His shoulders reach his ears as he shrugs. "Maybe we're all just some god's little playthings in the grand scheme of the universe."
"You're literally so irritating when you get philosophical and ambiguous. Revoking your friend rights." When he simply snickers, unaffected by your empty threats, all you can do is shake your head. "I don't want to go off of vibes. And I don't want him only liking my body. I know, I know — as cliche as that sounds, you've got to understand where I'm coming from."
"You want his heart."
You purse your lips as the autobody shop comes into view. "I actually… don't want anything. It's better for everyone that way. Besides, he still has that date this week."
"Ouch," Seokmin winces at that as you get out. Rolling down the window, he calls out to you. "Still rooting for the best outcome, though. You know we've always got your back no matter what!"
A fake smile and thumbs-ups are all he gets before you wave goodbye. Once the car has disappeared down the gravel road, you turn and approach the open garage door. Jeon's Repairs looks like something out of a horror film. A creaky building covered in dust and located out in the middle of nowhere. 
Maybe if you were murdered out here, it would be better. But you know that's not going to happen.
"Hello?"
"Hiiii!!!!!"
It's just as much of a shock as the first time when you see the six-foot-two mechanic wave energetically as he stands up to full height next to the open car hood he was bent over. A thin, white wife-beater is barely able to properly cover his large chest muscles. The minuscule shirt is basically ruined from oil spills coating it, the shiny amounts of perspiration from the hard manual labor he performs, and various upper body sinew bulging as he moves.
"Hey, Mingyu. How're you?"
He sweeps back the curly bangs that fell out of his man bun and shoots you a dazzling smile. "Right as rain, like always, Sugar. Your car is too. Fixed 'er up and she's runnin' like brand-spankin' new! You'll be ridin' a beast in the streets for sure."
Mingyu's a funny guy. You already like him and this is only the second time you've met. That's why you can't help but tease him back with a mischievous smile. 
"How do you know my car's a girl?"
"Ah," he walks over to the stall where your car sits and you follow, eyebrows raising at the affectionate slap he gives to its side before leaning against the front, thick and muscular arms crossed. "'Cause I know my way best around the ladies. Always get them makin' the prettiest noises for me jus' right."
"Don't let him lie to ya, sweet stuff." The new tone you hadn't heard the last visit makes your eyes widen at the new visitor's entrance. Long legs on perfect display with short denim shorts and a white tank somehow even scantier than Mingyu's. They send you a saucy wink. "Why don'tcha tell the truth 'stead of bein' a creep, Gyu?"
"Sorry, Bun." When Mingyu grins this time, it's all teeth. "Not tryna steal your thunder or anythin'."
"'sides, if anyone knows their way 'round women, ya know who's best 'tween us."
"Although it's true Bunny is our star mechanic and a star at… other things, you're embarrassing me." The door to the office opens and the man in charge steps out, peeking at all of you with a stern gaze over his wire-rimmed glasses. "I apologize for their antics, it's a pleasure to see you again."
He greets you formally with a handshake that you return. "The pleasure's all mine, Mr. Jeon."
"Wonwoo is fine, 'Mr. Jeon' sounds like you're addressing my father."
"Wonwoo it is then. You can call me by my first name as well and please, it doesn't bother me whatsoever, my good friend is much worse, I assure you."
"Gyu said you're friends with MinMin."
"Uh, Seok… min? Yeah, he spoke highly of here."
"He's always been such a good boy." You would wholeheartedly agree but the way they say it almost hints at something else. "Dare I say it's a shame he's now hitched. Or prolly soon to be."
"Hey," Wonwoo calls their name warningly even as he's busy cross-checking your total but they don't pay him any mind. "Seok told us — "
Nor to Mingyu who is elbowing them not so discreetly in the side. "He also told us not to — "
"We're streamers!" they exclaim excitedly, interrupting both men. "Well… we were. Kinda hard to set shit up when yer out here fuckin' like — haha, bunnies all the time, ya know?"
The boss now refuses to look up from the papers he's writing but his partners' two pairs of sparkly eyes with matching, mischievous grins beam at you. Your cheeks burn at their openness but you do smile back.
"I see."
Flawless (despite the grimy work conditions) French manicured nails tap excitedly along your wrist before pulling you in close. "Don't worry, Seokminnie didn't say anythin' but ya know how ya can tell when he knows somethin'? So, we did some deducin' and detectin'. And we're sooooo excited for yer collab!"
"Ah, thank you? I didn't know I had such... enthusiastic supporters here."
"Friends can always be found in the most unsuspectin' of places!"
"Truly, um… I hope you didn't give me a discount or something just because of that." 
You chew on your lip out of concern because your car looks polished like brand new and you're sure it'll run great — even better — as Mingyu declared. All of that for the price deducted from your bank account almost seems unfair to them. In fact, you could return most of the sum Soonyoung had given you, perhaps rendering the collab null.
Except he'd already made an announcement on the forum page and then accidentally locked himself out of his account for forty-eight hours. And the post is still up for a ton of people to see and share around the community. Your notifications are blowing up — some in excitement, others jealous — but all in anticipation. Evident from the fact that the people way out here in the countryside with spotty internet knew about it.
And you hated letting people down. Or thinking you chickened out. 
Wonwoo finally unfreezes to refute and shakes his head adamantly. "No, our pricing is standard as always so please don't worry about any illegal or favorable treatment."
"Good, 'cause I don't think I can afford to go to court," you laugh. 
"It's only fun if yer on a reality TV show, hon. We don't intend to go to court unless we're on one 'n it's guaranteed we can win the case."
"Remind me to never get on your bad side, then."
"Oh, sweetheart — all I have are good sides." They turn in place, swaying and showing off the best parts of their assets. 
Mingyu wolf-whistles while you clap along politely and Wonwoo takes that opportunity to sidle up to you, returning your credit card, keys, and receipt. You thank him and he nods, subtly gesturing to follow him outside.
"It was a pleasure doing business with you. Hopefully, you'll consider coming back again if you need any more fixer-uppers. As long as the crew didn't scare you away."
"They didn't, I think they're lovely."
He regrettably looks over his shoulder and you peek along. Trying your hardest not to laugh at the scene of Mingyu having whipped out an expensive camera from who-knows-where and is now snapping shots of their partner dancing.
"Yeah, they are. They just get really excited meeting new people, especially fellow streamers."
"So, it's true, you used to stream?"
A wicked smile is shot your way. "Sure did. But watching is just as fun, if not more. Especially with folks as excitable as them."
"Oh, I'm sure you get into lots of trouble."
"You couldn't even imagine." 
"I can't." 
Wonwoo clears his throat after that comment. It's not surprising that he's good at picking up on things and reading the room. A nice expectation when you're in any type of relationship, especially given his shared dynamic. After a drawn-out goodbye with the lively throuple, you finally slide into the driver's seat of your car to leave.
The ride back to the city in relative silence allows your thoughts to wander. It's true. You couldn't imagine such a relationship filled with laughter, trust, and positivity. Now you're sure it wasn't perfect, obviously. But that's probably where a good amount of open, clear communication helps fix whatever issues arise.
It seems like something out of a fairy tale. Just as you told Seokmin, a fanfiction plot built to accommodate its main characters and their perfect story. 
You're not sure what role you're destined to live out and honestly, you don't care. You're goofy, impulsive, damaged, insane, and doing the best you can. That should be enough in this wretched world, right?
Although you decide it's not enough for you personally and make the split-second decision at the stoplight to pull into the parking lot of Limbo. Your favorite supply shop for some much-needed stress relief and serotonin boost.
"Welcome to Limbo, where our prices are as low as they go, and our products will — oh, heya!"
"Hey, Jun."
The welcoming slogan is always cut short when Junhui's on the clock and you walk inside. As the owner, he's all too familiar doing business with you. He might even consider the two of you as more than acquaintances. Friends maybe. Dropping the customer service routine, the attractive blonde smirks at you with raised eyebrows and leans against the counter.
"And what can I do for my favorite customer?"
"It's not good to play favorites."
"Who says I'm playing?"
You roll your eyes. "As the biggest playboy I've ever met, when are you not?"
"Touché," he laughs and quickly stops the fake flirtatious act. "Honored to be pulling more bitches than your furry 'boy friend'."
"I don't have a dog so you have to be talking about… why is everyone bringing him up today? You know he's not my boyfriend!"
"Because someone tends not to realize how much they overshare and don't worry, dearest. I know that foolish boy hasn't made a move on you yet, hence the air quotes. Shame on him."
"Don't talk about it," you mumble, "and he's not a furry. He genuinely thinks he's a tiger. Maybe that's how he's able to pull new dates out of his ass all of the time without a tail plugging it." When Junhui erupts into more manic laughter, you cross your arms. "Just tell me what you've got new in stock, please. It's the only reason I'm here."
"Of course, of course. Let's see — ah, do you know how revolutionary this is?"
You dubiously eye the large cardboard box he pulls out and starts waving around. "A… card game?"
"Bingo," he snaps his fingers, "except a hundred times better. It demonstrates the best way to find the clit through an interactive and compelling game!"
"Why are you showing me this? I know where the clit is."
"Congratulations! But not everyone does, do you think your friend can find it? Maybe you can buy it for him."
"How are you still in business, your sales pitch is terrible," you complain with half a mind to strangle said salesman right then and there. Your eyes drift over to what's behind him on the wall, eyes widening with the ideas suddenly flowing through your head.
"I thought we were besties, I just wanted to show off goods that aren't attached to my body." Junhui pouts, albeit good-naturedly but you're not paying attention anymore — despite his next words. "Perhaps, you can be the one to educate him."
When you don't respond sardonically as expected, he follows your zoned-out gaze with a questioning brow raised. Meanwhile, Mingyu and Wonwoo's partner's kind words before you'd left play over in your mind.
"First non-solo stream, eh?"
"Oh, um. Yeah."
"A word of unsolicited advice, darlin'? Enjoy yourself. Make it fun. The feelin's can figure themselves out after, yeah?"
After you'd assured them their advice was very much welcomed and that you appreciated another steadfast supporter you know in-person, you'd exchanged numbers. Now, their final parting words before driving off echo in your ears like a haunting siren's call. Bidding you to do its will. Your neck heats up, remembering their mischievous smirk and saucy wink. 
"I didn't peg you for someone into collars and leashes."
You're snapped out of your hazy thoughts. "Well, don't because you so aren't. Ever."
"Yeah, yeah. Well, I would have thought you were someone who'd prefer these more," Junhui snickers wickedly, an atrocious set of fuzzy pink handcuffs he'd pulled out from under the counter dangling off his pointer finger. "A more hands-off, no touching approach."
The vision that scandalously pops into your mind is quickly dispelled. Banished even. So you refute by lying and saying, "It's not cuffing season."
"Oh, you're down bad. So bad." He shrugs. "Think of it as a bonus then." You watch in mild horror as he also throws them in a plastic bag. "I'll even give them to you free of charge. So, what color do you think will compliment your boy toy best?"
"He's not my — " You close your eyes, taking a deep breath and trying again not to think too hard. "Any will do. Just give me black… oh, and that too."
A wolf whistle. "Someone's in for a treat. Or trick. Something."
"I will literally cry if you say another unnecessary comment."
"Luckily for you, dacryphilia isn't really my thing. Yet."
"Oh my god!"
"All I'm saying is, this'll be some good shit." 
"Do not — and I repeat, do fucking not — make me commit murder in broad daylight, Jun."
"Alright, alright," he holds his hands up in surrender, biting back the endless jokes and puns that always threaten to roll off of his tongue. Instead, he changes the subject to something you're less likely to kill him over. "If things get boring, tedious, heart-wrenching — text me. I can set you up for some decent mixers!"
"By my stupid luck, you'll be the only one who shows up."
"If you wanted to date me so bad, all you had to do was ask." He takes the credit card from your iron grip and swipes it with ease while batting his eyelashes at you. "Tempting but no thanks, darling. Though trust me when I say I have tons of acquaintances who know how to have a good time. And get down and dirty if you'd like."
"I don't even want to date you but… I'll think about those mixers," you concede and grab your purchases. Given the nature of his job, it's obvious he has all kinds of connections. "See you around."
When the little chime marks your farewell and you step back outside, you're not sure how much of a stress reliever that even was. The back of your head hits the headrest of the seat with a defeated thump once you're inside your car.
Damnit, Junhui!
Peeking inside the bag with a grimace, you toss it onto the passenger's side. What were you even thinking? The buzz of a phone halts you. The name belonging to the very bane of your existence flashes across the screen.
"Hello?" It's silent. The line crackles and you think he might have just butt-dialed you until a desperate call of your name comes through via a different but not unfamiliar voice. "Oh, hi there, Chan. Please don't tell me a certain someone's in trouble."
"I'm so sorry to bother you but… yes. He's um… very, very, very intoxicated." 
You glance at the clock on your dash with a frown. "At this hour?"
"We went out for a lunch break and he ordered a drink. Maybe two…"
"Oh, no. Why? He knows he can't handle liquor at all, especially at restaurants and bars."
"Like it was great to go out for a good time since he's seemed out of it. And we did try to stop him but…"
"You're not his babysitter."
"Yeah." You both fall silent. You're mentally cursing Soonyoung for embarrassing himself in front of his junior dance team. As their captain, no less. At least Chan had experienced this too many times. Unfortunately. "Um, and… he won't stop talking about you so… I thought the next best bet was to call you."
Your blood runs cold. "Is he saying weird things?"
"N-no… of course, not! You know how he gets."
Soonyoung's more of an emotional, lovey-dovey drunk than a secret spiller but maybe you have too much faith in him, judging by Chan's rushed and uncertain response.
"Yeah, I do," you sigh, "where are you?"
"We were at his place and tried to get him to go inside but," — "no, stop trying to kiss me!", someone in the background shouts in protest — "um, sorry but anyways, he keeps insisting to come see you. And none of us knew if you were home or not."
You can hear the drunken slur of your name clearer now and assume Soonyoung is getting all up in Chan's business while he's on the phone. Possibly to say hello to you. 
"I'm out right now —  "
"Oh oops, sorry! I'll try and get him to calm down — "
"Wait, so you're at his place?" you rush to ask after he accidentally cut you off. 
"Well," he lowers his voice as best he can, "we're just driving around with the excuse that he'll think we're taking him to see you." 
"Okay." Glancing around the parking lot you're in, you know you would die before admitting to the young, up-and-coming dance crew member that you were anywhere near a sex toy store. "How about we meet at my place? I'll be back home in about fifteen?"
He agrees readily, apologizing once more with a guilty tone at having to bother you. Soonyoung being a chaotic drunk doesn't occur as often as one might think but when it does happen — it's always an experience to remember. And somehow you and Chan always seem to be the victims of circumstance when shit goes down.
Tumblr media
"I'm… I'm really sorry about this."
"Don't be. If there's anyone that has to apologize, it should be the one that caused the situation in the first place." You attempt to lessen the intensity of your glare when facing the younger man. "Unfortunately, that will have to be after he sobers up."
Chan shuffles his feet, cheeks dusting a light pink because he's not sure where exactly to look. After dragging his senior's body out of the car when he'd arrived at your place and then lugging him up to the door, the inebriated man completely melted right onto you and is now intimately nuzzling at the crook of your neck. All while you remain expressionless, arms crossed above Soonyoung's that embrace you.
Something gnaws at the young man, telling him that this is a bad idea. "Um, are you sure you don't want me to take him back? Drive around a few blocks before he passes out?"
"Wasting more gas in this economy? Don't worry about it… besides, he doesn't deserve to wake up by himself with the sun shining through his window and birds singing now, does he?" Your rather menacing tone causes Chan to instinctively step back to leave until you blurt out, "Oh wait!"
"Yeah?"
"You said that this buffoon kept talking about me, right? What kinds of things did he say this time? Y'know, wanna make sure it wasn't slander or something gross."
Being buried six feet under would be much better than ratting out his mentor or becoming the victim of your misplaced wrath. "Ummm… he said you have pretty… eyes, yeah! Pretty eyes!" When you blink them once — twice — Chan uses that as his cue to escape with a rushed "See ya!", taking two steps at a time to scramble back in the car with his friends.
Pretty eyes, my ass, you think to yourself and glower at the man clinging helplessly to your side.
Slamming the door shut a little too harshly causes Soonyoung to flinch and nestle impossibly closer to you. His clumsy hands knead the skin below your breasts, innocently inching a little too high for comfort. Gripping at the strands on the back of his head, you tug him away only to grimace at the inappropriate moan that escapes his mouth.
"Shut up."
"I… said nothin'?"
"Yeah, well. I've heard enough already," you snap and urge him forward until he topples onto the couch headfirst. "What's got you acting up like this?"
His eyes have stayed squinted this whole time even in the dim area of your living space, a perpetual frown on his puffy red face. It's cute even if he looks like he might cry. Although a closer glance and being all too familiar with his drunken habits, you think he might actually be on the brink of tears.
"…me."
"Hm?"
"You been… 'voiding me."
"No, I haven't."
"'course, that's what you think."
"I've been busy."
"'s what you always say."
"Do not," you argue. As a point, you stare directly into what you can see of his dilated pupils only inches away from those pursed lips of his to fluff the pillow on his right. "Had to pick up my car and everything. It hasn't been that long since you've seen me."
"No texts?"
"I'm not on my phone twenty-four-seven."
"Liar. Going without me."
"You wouldn't have even known where the place was. It was in the middle of nowhere and recced by a friend."
"You have friends?"
You sigh in defeat. "Yes, I do, Soonyoung. Whatever, it's not like you're comprehending or going to remember any of this anyways."
"I will."
"Yeah? What's two times two?"
"… Twenty-two!"
You nudge him over in exasperation and he falls down on his side, head perfectly landing on the pillow you propped up while he lets out a heavy sigh that you echo. "Sleep tight, dumbass."
Throwing a blanket around the lower half of his body, you know his tolerance has improved enough that he won't make a mess of the furniture. Shaking your head — albeit fondly — you head inside your room for the evening. Later on, lulled into a dreamless sleep by the even-tempo snores of your best friend.
Drunk Soonyoung is a deep sleeper — easily knocked out for more than twelve hours. 
By the time he's come to, he's slept through you waking up early, fussing in the kitchen, starting laundry, and stumbling around looking for your shoes before leaving (you needed to get out before you grew too soft over seeing him asleep on your couch). You don't even bother to keep quiet, knowing the man won't stir until his body has detoxed all the alcohol out of his bloodstream.
He's a little upset to find you gone, the living quarters noticeably a bit chilly without someone else — you — in it. Though a sheepish smile lights up his face after seeing medicine and a glass of water on the table. Plus, the usual post-it note with a frowny face scribbled on it that you left for him.
Like it's a habit, his fingers slide across his phone screen rather efficiently to speed-dial your number, smiling at the profile picture he chose. A candid picture of you laughing so hard at his funny antics you didn't hear the shutter clicking. Sometimes being bad at using technology works to his advantage.
"Morning, how's the hangover?"
"Barely feel a thing, must be the magical fairy dust you sprinkled over me."
You make a disgruntled noise before playfully asking, "Four times four?"
"… is sixteen. Whatever I said last night you cannot and will not hold against me, okay?"
"Sure."
He notes your noncommittal response. It's strange when you'd normally fire back at him. Rhythmic pounding noises thud in the background, and if he holds his breath to listen closely — he swears you're panting.
"What're you up to?"
"Workout. Treadmill."
Soonyoung blinks. 
Forbidden thoughts of your pretty tits and ass deliciously bouncing in time as you jog flood his mind. Licking his lips, the imagery turns to you bouncing on something else. Like his cock, for example, that's already starting to swell and stiffen up at the thought. His attractive best friend panting hungrily for him instead of in the gym. Exactly as when you squirted all over that pathetic vibrator of yours.
You're a goddamn perv, he chastises himself. 
Groaning as quietly as possible, he clears his throat. "You're not a fan of exercise routines. At least, you've always hated mine."
"Yours are stupid, insanely hard. A friend of mine said to keep fit, you know — to look nice for that."
"Friend? What kind of friend says shit like that?" You're reminded of his question last night but he continues on with sudden passion. "You're already pretty just the way you are!"
"Mhm-hm, and what exactly about me do you think is pretty?"
Heat burns on Soonyoung's neck, traveling upwards to set his cheeks aflame. There's no way you know what he's picturing right now. Banishing those scandalous ideas far, far, far away (for later maybe), he scrambles to answer. 
"Your… your… eyes!"
He's not sure what he's expecting but it's certainly not a scoff of disbelief coming out of his phone's speaker. Only the wall you're facing can see how hard those very eyes roll.
"Lies. All men do is lie."
Before he can ask you to elaborate, a male voice he can't make out nor identify takes your attention away. Soonyoung frowns, eyebrows furrowing in perplexity at your amicable, "Be right there," before you bid your friend a rather miffed goodbye. 
"Please lock the door when you leave."
"I can't stay?"
"… Just don't destroy anything."
A toothy grin emerges on his face as he thinks back to where you told him the spare key was. "I wouldn't dream of it, babe."
"Uh-huh. 'kay, bye."
"Bye!" The suddenly smug man hangs up. Donning a smirk on his face for no audience to see, one that Jihoon would shake his head and say his roommate must be up to no good.
Well. If you're going to do a workout with some other guy just because his routine is too intense — in more ways than he could ever know — Soonyoung's going to have to show you what you're missing out on.
Meanwhile, a chill runs down your spine. Puzzled, you pat at the sweat glistening on your forehead, neck, and back with the towel looped over your shoulder as you cool down. Turning off the treadmill, you join Seokmin on the large floor mat where he's attempting to stretch but has given up in pursuit of draping his body over a stability ball.
"What are you doing?"
"Becoming one with the ball."
You snort. "Is it working?"
"Yes." Turning his head, sparkling eyes stare up at you. "The universe has spoken to me and told me that was your special tiger boy. Does he miss you? Long for you?"
"There's a twenty-five-pound weight next to your girlfriend's foot. Don't make me go get it and throw it at your head."
He whines out to said partner about how mean you're being to him, only receiving delighted laughter as meager consolation in return. Setting down the heavy bar, she swings her legs off the bench and saunters over. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, a bejeweled eyebrow raises at how Seokmin forlornly rolls across the floor before he drops the act to grin at her knowingly.
"I don't like the look you two are sharing."
"Relax, sweets. When have we ever done something bad?"
"Do you want the evidence mailed or faxed by the time I gather up all the receipts?"
"You're so funny and cute," she coos, fiddling innocently with your workout bra strap. 
"And you both are insane. Lovely. But insane."
"I promise it's nothing crazy, right Seok baby?"
"Yeah, it's really tame. Nothing big either."
You shake your head. "So, it's not another extra, extra large-sized vibrator? 'Cause I was told that wasn't big either."
More bubbly giggles fill the empty gym. "How 'bout we grab some food on our way out and we'll share the deets?"
"I suppose so, could definitely use a cold drink now."
"A drink? At this time?" Seokmin teases as you search for your cover-up hoodie and zip it up. He'd wrangled all the details out of you this morning about last night's events while you helped spot him on the chest press. "Was taking care of your tiger boy really that bad?"
"… How you haven't broken his perfectly shaped nose yet is beyond me."
"'cause he's adorable. And frankly, dearest, you can be a real sour puss sometimes."
"Sorry, I'm surrounded by irritating idiots all the time that test my patience."
"Even me?"
"Never you." You loop your arm through her free one, causing the fake pout on her face to disappear. 
Seokmin hangs giddily onto her other side, matching his girlfriend's radiant smile. He's used to the usual light-hearted jabs thrown his way and knows they aren't meant with any ill intent.
The three of you traipse outside where the fair sunlight and time of day increase the crowd of people milling around. Business always flourishes for the food stalls lining the sidewalk when the stroke of good fortune smiles down on them with pleasant weather. Especially when hungry gym-goers stop by for a refreshing drink or delicious snack like your trio needs after a hard routine.
"So, what's the grand secret you're hiding?"
Shiny, long hair is flipped over a tattooed shoulder with such a sure smile on her face and for the umpteenth time, you wish to have even a fraction of the self-confidence Seokmin's girlfriend exudes. "Got a sexy little number for you, darling. Nothing insane but I know you'll just love it and well," a glee-filled snicker, "I know he'll absolutely adore it. Isn't that right, 'Min?" she asks louder.
Her boyfriend nods in agreement even though he probably hasn't heard a thing other than his name from where he's busy paying at the stand. You roll your eyes.
"Thanks, but is that really necessary?"
"Of course!" she gasps, "it would be a bit of a shame, really, but I wouldn't be surprised if he tore it right off. Hah, it will be easy to tho… but anyways, the setup is always key. Remember, I told you it's just like foreplay and equally as important. You're already hot stuff and you're just gonna look even hotter flattering your best assets. He's gonna end up blowing his load, I just know it!"
"I'm going to have a meltdown," you state rather evenly while she squeals. Quite proud of yourself for the fake calm demeanor. 
A hand wraps around yours, squeezing encouragingly. "Listen to me. I was in the same boat a year ago and what great advice did I receive?"
"That was different."
"How so?"
"I mean look at you two now."
"Yeah, I found the love of my life. But that's not what I'm referring to. You know how murky our feelings stupidly were at the time and what did you tell me?"
You sigh in defeat and repeat, "'Whatever happens, happens but at least you know you tried'."
"Exactly." She puts a hand on your shoulder and the other one tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to meet her firm gaze. "And I wasn't happy when you said that but it's true. Plus, my intuition deep down is never wrong and something tells me this will be good either way. It's why we got you something to help boost your confidence, yeah? Think of it as armor… even if it doesn't cover much!"
You groan her name. "Geez, alright. You're right. Someone else said the same thing but I'm just — you know…" You wave your arm around and she nods understandingly. 
"I get it. It's okay to feel that way, perfectly normal. Be honest with him, at least about the nerves part if that's what you're only comfortable sharing. I think he's gonna treat you right during this, though. You're his best friend when it all comes down to it! Remember, you both have equal control over this so make sure to express and communicate at all times."
"I don't know if he'll have any control with what I have planned," you mutter and her eyebrows raise up in surprise before they wiggle suggestively with a salacious grin.
"Oh? There's my spicy sugar baby."
"Hah, stop it, you! I dunno, I mean we didn't discuss what we would be doing anyways so…"
"Mhm-hm. Well, don't forget we're always one phone call away. For anything."
"In fact, we could just book a nearby hotel." Seokmin returns and hands out your respective orders. "We haven't spent the night in one for a while, have we?"
You make a face of disgust following the couple to their parked car. "There's only trashy motels that reek of sex out my way. Like the dorms on campus but five times worse."
"Whaddya mean, that sounds perfect?"
"C'mon Seokmin," you grumble and he chuckles. 
His girlfriend takes out a white clothing box wrapped with an elegant black ribbon. "Don't open it until right before you're ready to stream. I know you'll overthink it if you see it any sooner."
You bite your lip but nod, pulling her in for a hug. "Thank you a lot. For everything you always do. I know you're right." Taking in a deep breath, you stand back and nod at both of them. "I'm going to do this."
"Yes, you are! You're gonna take that dick and own it, regardless of fuzzy feelings, you better enjoy it for what it's worth!"
"Baby, we're in public!"
"What, that's never stopped you before? You just handed over a lingerie set on a public street!"
As they bicker, you hear your phone ding. 
Tumblr media
You gasp. For multiple reasons. None of them good ones.
Tumblr media
Throwing your head back, you let out a frustrated groan before turning to face your curious friends. "It was great seeing you guys but I have to make a call and hurry home. Love you, will talk to you later."
They blow you kisses goodbye, acting as if they aren't chortling like little demons to each other that you have a very important dicking-down appointment to make. You pretend like you don't hear them, urgently dialing Soonyoung's number.
"Heya."
"Tell me you didn't bleach and dye your hair in my bathroom sink!"
Your devious best friend can't help but find your fuming cute as he plays with the tattered strings on his sweatpants. "I didn't."
You halt your fast stride and accusingly huff into the phone, "Then you're just fucking with me?"
"Not yet, actually."
"Kwon Soonyoung!"
"What? You didn't answer my question. Y'know I was gonna call and ask you what color you'd prefer but I didn't want your gym buddy to overhear."
"So you left and came back just to make a mess of my bathroom, maximizing the chances of my landlord potentially killing me?"
"Something like that, yeah."
"If you thought Jihoon was pissed, I can get much scarier than him."
"Oh trust me, I know. Better hurry that cute ass of yours home to get me to behave."
He hangs up, leaving you standing on the side of the street with your jaw nearly hitting the concrete. You hope that Soonyoung had learned his lesson after horribly — albeit accidentally — staining Jihoon's brand-new sink the last time he'd had done something crazy to his hair.
But as usual, he never fails to surprise you in the worst of ways. For as irritating as he was, it was honestly sometimes a surprise that you were best friends with him — let alone ending up with stupid feelings that totally don't exist.
Tumblr media
The heavy weight of male testosterone hanging in the air smacks you right in the face when you open the door. So much so that you have to take a step back, shake your head, and approach your own living quarters with much more caution.
"Honest to god," you mutter to yourself, only just able to hear Soonyoung's grunts, groans, and controlled exhale over the obnoxious blaring of his workout playlist. You pray your neighbors won't file a noise complaint. "Is he for real?"
Like out of a wet dream (yours), the lean arms of your best friend curl inwards to bring the dumbbells toward his head. Biceps bulging, the rest of his muscles visible through the thin white tank draped over them ripple in time with his precise movements. An audible hiss from the burn of exertion is followed by furrowed eyebrows, lips curling inwards before he relaxes and releases the tension. 
The only thing keeping you from fainting is the sight of his fuzzy bleached hair sticking out at odd points. Reminding you of why you stormed home in the first place.
Having seen your reflection in the blank TV, Soonyoung sets down the weights and turns to face you with a lazy grin. Shaking out his arms, the bracelets on his wrists jingle and jangle, silver beads against his tanned skin make it glow even more.
Like who even wears jewelry when they work out, you think to yourself with critical disdain to distract away from the fact that you're staring. In disbelief obviously. Pure and utter judgment.
As if you don't have a dainty golden chain around your own neck, the pendant resting demurely above the low zipper of your hoodie. 
You miss the hungry dark brown irises following the way it dangles back and forth above your chest when you bend over to set down the bags you're carrying. Unconsciously biting down on his bottom lip at the pretty view presented to him. Hurriedly flitting his eyes away with slight shame when the charm nestles itself exactly where he was staring as you stand back up. 
Just in time to meet your fiery glare that burns into his dilated pupils — this time, not from alcohol.
You're too busy staring at the mess on his head to really notice and he uses that to his advantage. As much as possible. But the attempt at sexily brushing back his frizzy bangs only makes them look worse and causes your scowl to deepen. A failure in making you swoon or laugh as intended, he sighs in defeat and turns on the kicked-puppy-dog act. Even though he's a self-certified tiger.
"Don't give me that look."
"I'm not doing anything."
"That's what you should've told me on the phone."
"Ah but… oh, wait… " he calls out as you stomp over to the bathroom only to let out a frustrated shriek. "See? Didn't ruin your basin, babe."
"Oh, you! Like you even know what that word means!"
"I do!"
A withering look is shot his way on your return but it has no effect. Neither do the next words out of your mouth. "I'm going to strangle your rat-lookin' ass for giving me a false heart attack!"
"Hah, I might be into that if it's you doing it."
This time, though, the way you whine out his name causes Soonyoung to shiver. Tiny hairs stand at attention, eliciting bumps to cover his body despite the sheen of perspiration already coating his skin.
God, does he want to hear it again.
You turn away from him, having said enough of your mind and knowing he probably wasn't even listening. Which would be correct. Instead, he tugs at the hem of your shirt and taps your shoulder so you'll face him again, allowing him to put his hands on your hips to keep you in place.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you. Obviously."
"Trying to escape me in your own place?"
"Oh, trust me. I can evade very well while you… work out whatever alpha male energy you need to release in my home."
"But I'm a tiger — a solitary creature with no social structure." 
"No social skills, more like it." You push at his chest, hand jolting back like it'd been burnt upon the realization of just how thin and useless the almost-sheer fabric of his tank top is. Cheeks burning only hotter when his shit-eating smirk widens. 
Absent-mindedly kneading at your covered skin while mentally taking note of how short your attire was on your lower body, Soonyoung chuckles. "You're a tiger too, you know?"
"Stop, I could never compare to the level of your tiger-isms. Because I'm not a furry or whatever you like to call yourself."
"I could convince you to be my tigress," his breath hot against your already burning cheek, "change your mind a little bit, you're already halfway there as it is."
Any biting remark fizzles out in your throat like an opened soda can turning flat, knowing it'll only come out sounding like a whimper with how close he gets. Firm and warm — so warm and his dazzling, brilliant display of teeth only makes everything burn more. Your legs are as shaky as the breath you would have let out if you weren't holding it in just as hard as the grip on the last shred of your sanity.
Your best friend must deviously know who now has the upper hand at your ducked head. Sweatpant-clad knees knock into your bare ones. Urging you back, back, and back until you obediently sit down on the couch. 
Reminiscent of the night before. Opposite positions.
Soonyoung cages your head between his arms, wishing he was shirtless so you could see the way his abs flex in order to hold himself up, not solely relying on the strength of his arms. Your silence and stunned look are enough to boost his ego though, and he knows he can make it up to you.
"Have a few more reps to do, why don't you wait 'til I'm done?"
It's adorable, he thinks — how you're only able to cutely nod, mouth slightly ajar. Completely overwhelmed by him and him alone until he backs away to give you space to finally exhale in relief.
"And why would I do that?"
Broken out of the spell long enough to grouse at him and be taken aback by the unfamiliar but familiar pull-up bar station he's headed toward. However, before you can chew him out again, he easily targets your Achilles heel. Sometimes he's smart like that (or lucky), able to pick up on your strengths and weaknesses you don't realize or try to hide. Either for or against your well-being.
"'Cause I'll make it worthwhile, babe."
And right now, Soonyoung's actively using every effort to work against you. 
Pulling out a baseball cap from who knows where to cover his hideous hair and tossing away his useless top, you have no choice but to momentarily gawk at the defined valley between his back muscles with nothing shielding your view. It's up to your filthy imagination to envision what disappears under the waistband of his gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips.
"Yeah, right, I'll just look at my phone," you grumble, although you can't tear your gaze away despite unlocking the device with your thumb. 
"See something you like?" 
His teasing is relentless, your shrunken reflection on the TV screen becoming his focal point. Grinning to himself with his tongue sticking out, panting and moaning as acceptable as one can when doing pull-ups.
"No," you lie flatly, "I saw a lot of that not too long ago at the gym." More lies. Seokmin is a respectable man and keeps himself well-covered. "I'm just wondering how you got that damn thing in here."
"I'm stronger than I look."
"I know. Doesn't explain why you bothered to set it up here."
It's hard to shrug in the middle of a pull-up so he hums. "Change of scenery?"
"There's a great view at your apartment. A huge, wide window overlooking a green yard, not some beige wall."
Like he'd admit right now that he'd rather look at you. For amusement. For other reasons. Especially because he has a pretty good idea of how lovely you are undressed.
Continuing to ramble, you carry on. "And if you're all wrung up about me avoiding you — which I'm not — because of the collab, don't be. 'Cause I'll still do it — "
One of Soonyoung's hands almost slips off the bar, losing his grip in his sudden excitement at your words. Stabilizing himself with two feet planted on the ground, he faces you — chest heaving, abs rippling to catch his breath.
"You're still okay with it?"
"I mean why wouldn't I be? I just… had to process things. I'm a bit… well… nervous, okay?" You look down, expecting him to laugh at you.
"I'm nervous, too. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with the things I texted you, was just caught up in the moment, and I… " He rubs his neck, backpedaling when you flinch. "I meant it! Oh god, I mean… I didn't intend to be a creep, I just wanted you to know that…"
A deep inhale gives him enough air to rush out, "I do find you attractive. I mean you're hot, duh. And… I would and will do anything and everything to make sure you're comfortable at all times and… also… feel good… and… and stuff."
Soonyoung's voice fades away, the idea that he's fumbled the ball so hard and lost the game is super embarrassing. Defeat isn't common. Flirting and securing dates were his forte, his special skills, and the things he never failed at. Yet, with you sitting right in front of him right now — someone who is always by his side — he keeps fucking things up.
It gives him a small flutter of hope though when you raise your head to steadily meet his eyes. A hint of a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "You're strange, you know that?"
"I'm trying to have a heart-to-heart for the third time and you're telling me I'm weird?"
"Strange, not weird."
"They're literally cinnamons."
"… Synonyms?"
"Yeah, you know when two different words mean the same thing."
"I — " You shake your head. Typical Soonyoung behavior. Attempting to get back on track, you mumble an apology. "You know, I've been caught up in my head without thinking about what or how you're feeling at all even though you've been pretty open."
"More than open."
"True. It just…. scares me. You're my best friend, Soonie — I don't want to lose you."
Your fearful whisper comes out more like a plea. The both of you search each other's shared gaze, unable to recognize the exact emotions you seek are in plain sight. 
Soonyoung frowns. "You aren't going to lose me over this."
"You don't understand."
"You haven't been upfront with anything if I'm being honest so, yeah. I don't."
"I'm — I'm sorry — "
"Don't be," he assures you with a wave of his hand and comes closer, "I get that it's new, scary, and gonna take time. I'm not expecting anything nor am I gonna leave when it's over, okay? Just want us to enjoy ourselves." His soft approach — the clumsy steadiness of the man you know and love — only makes your heart melt devastatingly so. "I promise this is gonna be great."
"It… it will be. I trust you."
He beams at you, holding out his hand. "Why don't we shower together then?"
"What?" Your body jolts, not at the coldness of the phone you had a death grip on falling onto your thighs but at the shock of his words. "Why?"
"To make up for the time we could've had during the communal shower incident?"
"Ugh, omigod, you perv…I should've known way back then."
Soonyoung wiggles his eyebrows and fingers enticingly. "How about just getting comfy and calming the nerves a bit? No cameras, no viewers, no one else — no pressures. Just us. Whatcha think?"
"No funny tricks," you warn but take his offered hand and stand up. It's horrible how the idea is enough to make your body thrum in anticipation.
"'course not, wouldn't dream of it, babe."
Tumblr media
Despite the growing trepidation, neither one of you is eager to move too fast and disturb the careful equilibrium established. 
Once he's secured your hand in his, Soonyoung leads you toward the bathroom but pauses right outside the door. You peer at him curiously — thinking he's chickened out — but he simply winks, apologizing that he needs the bag left by his workout equipment.
"You little shit, you had this all planned, didn't you?"
"No, but I brought a few things in the hopes you'd at least let me stay over again. You see, Jihoon was planning a big romantic dinner tonight."
"Aw, was he? That's cute. Can you grab my stuff too? I'll… meet you in the shower in a few… gotta run to my room real quick."
"'kay, but you better not run from me," he whispers in your ear and delivers a playful slap on your ass before leaving.
Your legs wobble. Weird excitement mixes with the butterflies in your gut and then you're dashing off into your bedroom to glare at the flustered expression reflected in your vanity's mirror. Sorting through and tossing around various panties, undergarments, and casual clothing only to huff at yourself because what does it matter what you wear to the shower? 
Damn you, Soonyoung.
Patting at super flushed, hot cheeks causes you to unzip your hoodie and throw it in the hamper. Left wearing only a sports bra, the urge to waste time and calm yourself by staring at the glowing, rotating stars on the ceiling is strong. Instead, you crouch down on the floor to give yourself one final pep talk for mental fortitude and then head back to join said man in the bathroom.
So caught up in trying to steel your nerves, you don't realize how long it took him to get the bags. Nor the flush coloring his neck a scarlet red and even spreading across his shoulders after he dropped yours off in front of the closed bedroom door, having accidentally caught a glimpse inside one of them.
Yes, the unmarked plastic Limbo bag that had been left in your car due to the events that happened after. You had brought it in today and although he'd picked it up without a second thought, he had seen a particular item that left his head spinning. You are none the wiser — forgetting all about it already again because of everything.
Soonyoung's already stripped and turned the shower on, intently watching the stream of water like it's the most interesting thing he's seen all day. You're grateful, though. 
Although a bra and booty shorts are by far not the most revealing thing you've worn or that your best friend's seen, you feel bare before you're even naked. Quickly discarding them, you wait for his next move, shifting on your feet. Both bashful and antsy.
"You ready?" The soft way he calls your name has your stomach doing somersaults. 
"Yeah."
"C'mere, then." Brown eyes crinkle to match his smile at the way you shyly sidle up next to him. "Don't know if the water temp is good for you."
"It's fine."
"After you, then."
You snort at the so-called gentlemanly nature, stepping inside while Soonyoung fidgets. It's funny because he's never failed to ogle you before with clothes on. But now he's unsure where to even look, choosing to focus on the water flowing past your painted toes and down the drain.
"You coming?"
"Yeah, uh…" He asks himself why he was doing this despite knowing the answer. "Um, nice shower."
You play along as if he's never been inside the bathroom before. "It is a nice bonus considering the rent. Big enough for two people to stand inside and not… touch."
Soonyoung's back is pressed straight up against the shower wall, clinging to it like mold and using it as a lifeline. There definitely seems to be enough space between your two bodies but he would rather slip on soap than move his eyes off the chipped caulking he's focused on right now. Speaking of soap, his singular brain cell lights up for a moment and he grabs the shampoo bottle that's thankfully to the right rather than behind either of you. 
"You wanna wash my hair for me?"
"What did you do to it? Obviously, it wasn't bleached if you're getting it wet. And it doesn't look much different."
"Chan helped me lighten it. With apple cider vinegar."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah." 
Another mistake. Not his hair. But asking you to wash it. Especially when you tell him to duck his head to his chest so you can lather it up properly. Though your nails feel great against his scalp, he squeezes his eyes shut — afraid to look again. Even after straightening up and you're rinsing out the suds.
"I thought we were doing this to ease up the nerves but why do you look ten times more uncomfortable?"
"… I'm trying really, really, really hard not to be a creep right now."
You have to laugh. Endeared and amazed, you tap at his hands which have curled into tight fists to try and get him to relax. "Don't you want to look?"
One eye opens to squint at you, a strangled groan escaping his throat. "The goal was to get you more comfortable with me. Not the other way around?"
"But it looks like you're having a harder time." The not-so-subtle innuendo has him groaning again, running a distressed hand through his wet locks. You're having zero difficulties checking him out, undoubtedly noticing the effect this is having on him. So of course, your ego grows just like his cock. "Do you wanna touch me, Soonie?"
"I… I…"
It's your turn to reach for the shelf of toiletries, the snap of the body wash's lid opening causes a shiver to run down Soonyoung's spine and his nostrils flare at the familiar scent. He's helpless to your sweet, seductive tone and lets you lift up his hand, squeezing a generous amount from the bottle onto it.
"You can get me all nice, clean, and pretty for our stream, yeah?" 
Which is a lie — you're not looking to get clean, necessarily. The hot water and occasional soap suds are enough to wash away the sweat and grime from both of your workouts. An actual scrub could come later. 
After the festivities. 
"Don't waste my expensive products," you teasingly beg and bat your damp eyelashes at him before turning around. How the tables have turned. "Please?"
He swears under his breath, muttering, "This is all your fault," (a lie) before running his hands along your shoulders to spread the cool gel. Circular motions bring them down closer and closer before cautiously, but eagerly, cupping at the underside of your breasts.
"Knew you always had a thing for them," you giggle.
"Can you blame me?" Soonyoung bites back and starts to knead at them the same way he's done to other parts of your body without this kind of intent. "They're fucking gorgeous. Can't believe I finally get to touch them."
Your sigh comes out more like an airy moan, leaning back against his firm body. Two and two click together. "So these are your favorite parts of my body, huh? You've been talking to your juniors about my tits?"
"No way!" he assures you, "It's true that your eyes are beautiful as well but I can talk about how pretty you are…. you know, as a person."
"I don't even want to know."
"Like… you know!" 
"No?"
"I mean all of them have the hots for you, I'm just making sure none of them make a move because that would be weird."
"Oh please, it's only weird if you make it weird."
"Think about it. If my best friend dates my younger peers and exposes all kinds of embarrassing moments, how am I supposed to hold onto my authoritative position?"
"You expose your stupidity all by yourself as it is and still somehow maintain it. I think you terrify them in so many ways you don't even have to worry."
"I dunno. Whatever, are underclassmen even your type?"
You shrug. "I don't really have a preference but I guess not."
"Good, let's keep it that way."
"You're incorrigible."
"And yet here we are." He points out, noting that his hands groping and squeezing at your chest has to feel good. A little too good, if you're the one being honest. "You still want to stream, right? Like tonight?"
"Mhm, we might as well. Besides, you have your date really soon and — " You yelp at the sudden pinch and tug at your nipples, lurching forward.
Soonyoung follows your body's motion, ensuring you won't slip or hit your head. You can feel the hot press of his cock laying heavy against your back, bodies melding together as he rises back to his full height and brings you up with him. He doesn't move away, one hand brushing across your stomach while the other soothes the harshness just enacted upon your breasts.
"Do you think you can handle one sweet orgasm for me? Before we put on a show? Please?"
"Wha — Soonyoung?" you splutter out, brain trying to catch up and process the change of his demeanor. 
His mouth is on your skin, not quite kissing and not quite biting or sucking. Just lips pressing along your neck with an occasional prod of his tongue that licks up water droplets as he pleads for permission. Followed by a slight grind of his hips that steals away your breath, his heavy cock swirling against the curve of your ass, its heat matching the heat building up in your abdomen.
"Just my fingers, baby. There's no way I'd have trouble getting hard again but I need… no, want to stretch you out first. Please."
Breathless laughter bubbles in your chest at his desperation. And of course, you find yourself equally as turned on — easily able to distinguish between the hot shower water versus the release of arousal that bursts from your gut and trickles out to coat your sensitive folds.
You tell him "okay," and then he's goddamn thanking you. Already panting. Would get on his knees if he could but it's too risky, even though he reaches behind and shuts off the water that's rinsed away all of the unnecessary suds. Now, Soonyoung can resort to using his fingers to explore where he hopes his mouth and eyes can later.
Prodding at the crease of your thigh, he mumbles more to himself, "Is this where it's at?", causing you to grimace. Not knowing he's referring to your tiger lily tattoo. 
"Thought you were a sex maniac? But you don't know how to finger someone?" Maybe Junhui was right. "I should've bought you a guide or something, my bad."
He scoffs. "A little mouthy, aren't we? Not that I was expecting anything less. Saw you bought some fun sex toys, babe and I assure you — I know how to use them and find my way around a body."
"We might use them in ways you can't imagine," you gripe and he silences you with a bold swipe of his fingers against the smooth folds of your cunt.
"You're shaking in my arms already and you don't think I know what I'm doing." He doesn't speed up his pace or make further movements, content to tease. Though his lips turn downward when you clasp a hand over your mouth. "Going quiet on me before I've even started?"
"I'm cold," you mumble behind your palm. 
Soonyoung's hand leaves your lower body so he can place it on your elbow instead. Not moving your arm away but it's a tight enough grip that you know he wants to and could if he tried. He feels the bumps covering your skin everywhere he's pressed against and shivers himself.
"Let me warm you up then. But you're going to have to let me hear how it feels or I won't know if I'm doing a good job." Fingers trail down your side again and you relent, tentatively dropping your arm down and letting out a soft, wobbly moan at his tickling motions. "And I very much like knowing that I am."
You can feel his smile against your neck. He can't help but be fond of such cute shyness that you don't normally exhibit around him but even that's not enough to feed the ravenous tiger. Soonyoung understands though, aware of some of the differences between sexual acts for a camera audience versus doing it with another person.
Especially if it's him. Not that he's actually aware of that fact.
"Words, gorgeous." But the man still desires to ask, intent on getting you to actually say something, breathy and sweet all for him — and him alone. Hopefully not just an act. Besides, he knows how mouthy you actually are whether there's something in that cute cunt of yours or not.
"Mhm yes, Soonyoungie…"
"Yeah?" He rewards you with a return to your damp folds, gently brushing back and forth to get his fingers thoroughly coated with arousal. "Tell me what I should do, what you like. Wanna hear it all from those pretty lips of yours."
"Hm, want… want your fingers."
"Where?"
"In… inside."
"Huh, inside… here?" A finger slowly eases its way into your warmth. "In this lovely little pussy of yours?"
Your reaction is incredible, arching your lower back to press even closer to him, wedging his cock between your ass cheeks, and throwing your head back. A louder moan echoes in the shower. One that glimmers with more confidence. 
You're no longer cold, sure the water droplets glistening on your skin are sizzling now and evaporating from the feral heat rushing through your body. And it is absolutely everything to Soonyoung. Almost.
"How many? How deep?"
Despite having shorter fingers, they make up for the lack of length with thickness and technique. You can clearly feel by the one alone that he obviously knows how to utilize as it explores the spongy walls of your cunt. Your moan turns into a whiny huff as he stills his digit and your foggy mind finally registers you need to answer.
"Two, please. Not… not too deep."
"'course, baby. Whatever you want. I know you can take more but I'll be gentle." He nips at your ear as he slides his ring finger next to his middle one inside, teeth bared hungrily at the filthy squelch. Pointer finger soothingly pets one side on the outer lip of your pussy that snugly wraps around him, tiny tremors of its nerves fluttering across it. "Anything for you."
He continues to mumble, stuff along the lines of "only for you" and "never do a thing to ever hurt you". But it's drowned out by the blood roaring in your ears, melting against Soonyoung's body, and attempting to keep standing. It doesn't matter too much, his strong grip ensures you won't fall — it'd be a waste of such a rigorous arm workout if he couldn't even brace and support you while he finally gets to stroke your velvety walls like he's fantasized about.
Or maybe that's fueling his strength alone. It's startling, how fast you rush toward that peak. The sensitivity of someone — him — touching you for the first time in years, the smell of your scent on him… everything in that moment, within the intimacy of your shower, is just you and Soonyoung.
It's intimate. Much too intimate. 
Emotions collide and crash, causing an intense ache that leaves you in a fragile state of vulnerability, stealing your breath with a sharp gasp. Paired with the slow, concentrated strokes of his fingers that are intent on helping you reach that peak, you have no choice but to follow along. 
Embarrassingly climbing up the hill and hurtling to your climax at a raging speed, like a roller coaster that races downwards off-track. And like its unfortunate passengers, you scream — albeit silently, the pleasure so mind-numbing that it steals away every single one of your functions. 
It satisfies Soonyoung though. The lack of noise from your mouth lets him appreciatively hear the accompanying squelch of your darling cunt pulsating around his fingers. Gummy walls squeeze his fingers in rippling waves that make his cock ache. You tremble in his arm and he feels hella pleased, content to support your shaking frame until he realizes you're sobbing.
Mush. Your brain, your body, your heart. It feels so so, so good it almost oddly hurts so, so, so bad.
Your best friend is quick to wipe your cheek tenderly, brushing away the trickling tears with his cleaner hand. "Hey, you okay? You still with me?"
It's hard to trust yourself to speak, the lump in your throat is too big to allow for speech anyways. Instead, you nod at him through bleary eyes, waiting for the roar to fade from your ears. Soonyoung scans your face repeatedly, worry knitting his eyebrows.
"Baby," he whispers, pet names slipping out without thought, and pulls down the fluffy towel on the nearby hook to drape over your shoulders. "Talk to me. Too much? I'm so sorry… gosh, I really am sorry, love."
Regret immediately eats at him. Regret at what, he's not quite sure. But like a stone is crushing his chest, he watches you attempt to talk to him — to actually assure him that you are okay — but your body refuses to cooperate in its hypersensitive state, stuck heaving dry sobs. So, you timidly open your arms, asking for a hug and he steps in to embrace you without a moment's hesitation.
Although it's like he's touching glass, afraid you'll break with one wrong touch so he's extraordinarily gentle. Your head buries into the crook of his neck. Toweled arms wrap around him, luckily sharing a bit of warmth and dryness. Breathing in his comforting scent that lingers beneath your shampoo, and the supportive strength of defined, moist skin pressed against yours. Both of your hearts beating rapidly off-sync starts to ease the shaking in your body. 
Every swallow you hear and feel from his throat continues to bring you back down to a calmer wavelength. Unsure of how much time passes until you no longer feel like you're a balloon floating away in the stratosphere. But once you finally come down and feel a sense of stability, you lift your head.
Soonyoung's quick to crank his neck just for the tiniest glimpse to gauge how you're doing when there's zero indication of you releasing him from your embrace. In fact, your arms might tighten even harder around his torso. A thumb reaches up to cradle the side of your cheek he can reach, swiping tenderly at the salty dampness.
"I'm sorry." It's your turn to croak out an apology and he frowns.
"Why are you apologizing? It's me who should be — "
"No, it's not you! Well, not exactly. Forgot how it feels to be touched by someone else and it's just… a little overwhelming. I didn't mean to scare you."
"Wasn't scared but definitely worried I took it too far. I didn't want or mean to."
"You didn't," you assure him, hands wrapped in the bath towel running up and down his lean back. "I'm fine. It felt… good. Really good. Probably too good. Guess you weren't lying about your skills."
Embarrassed laughter is muffled by burying your head back into the space between his neck and shoulder, a slight nuzzle against his warm skin. Refusing to look into your best friend's brown eyes yet upon the recollection that he'd just had his fingers deep inside of you, bringing you to a pleasurable precipice that you think is the best you've ever experienced.
"Ah."
When that's all he simply says, you have to lean away, honestly a little puzzled. Now it's his turn — once again — to not meet your eyes. A pretty flush illuminates round cheeks that are only emphasized more by the shockingly bashful smile growing on his lips.
"'Ah'?" you repeat in surprise. "I thought you'd be all… cocky and proud. Y'know, like earlier."
His hands rub up and down your arms, unintentionally but successfully finishing drying you off. "Hey, don't get me wrong. I am proud, it's not every day a man gets his pretty bestie to cum like that."
"I am pretty, aren't I?" 
"Yeah, you are." He confirms that by resolutely meeting your gaze and the moment stretches on until you blink to shatter it. "Don't like making you cry though."
"Really? That doesn't seem like your normal MO, Mr. 'I get told off for having too high of a sex drive'!"
"Well… you're different," Soonyoung huffs at you mimicking his words from days ago, and scratches the back of his head as you step out of the shower. Shamelessly ogling your backside in mild retaliation as if you aren't giving him a free show on purpose when you reach for another towel. It's pointless if you don't see and he's allowed to look. "You know that."
All you do is chuckle and shake your head, humor being your favorite defense mechanism. You don't dare to ask him to elaborate. What do you know? Sure, he treats you differently… because you're his precious friend. Because he —
You focus on his matted hair that kind of makes him look a bit like a drowned rat. Though your affection doesn't dwindle, at least you can focus on the conversation rather than Soonyoung and his undeniable attractiveness that now makes you weak in more ways than one.
"What I know now is that my best friend has a dacryphilia kink."
"Do not!"
"Sure," you say, the word absolutely coated in sarcasm but you don't push it. Instead, you ask, "What about you though? Anyone ever made you cry?"
Soonyoung tongues at his cheek, as he joins you at the sink counter, towel politely covering his modesty like yours. "And now who has a kink for tears? I'm aware of how much you love it when viewers are sobbing for you to squirt for them, all pretty like you do. Bet they wail into their pillows every night because they can never, ever have a chance with you."
"Ha, talking about yourself, Tiger?" Boldly, you run a finger down the crevice formed by his pec muscles, just stopping before you reach his abs. "Didn't someone admit to being a frequent viewer of mine?" Watching as he visibly gulps despite the smirk starting to quirk the corner of his lips up. "Ever shed tears for me, Soonie baby?"
It's a miracle that the poor man is able to remain standing with every single one of his nerves tingling and firing off at your words. His entire being thrums while he wiggles his eyebrows. 
"Wouldn't you like to know," he teases, unsurprisingly finding himself breathless.
"I guess I would. Or… I could just find out for myself."
"Fuck, so those toys I accidentally saw weren't for you, were they?" When all you do is bite your lip to try and hide your grin, he laughs and swears again. Turning away to run another hand through his hair, he looks back at you with an eager sparkle in his eyes. "I should've known, you naughty tigress."
"Are you up to it though?"
"Clearly."
"… I mean mentally, Soonyoung. Want to make sure you're okay with that."
"As okay as you were with what we did in the shower," he affirms, "because I trust you, too. Besides," his gaze lowers to drag across your covered body though you might as well be naked with the hungry way he stares before meeting your eyes again. "That sweet pussy of yours could bring anyone to tears. Hmm, maybe I do have a dacryphilia kink… "
"You think?" With a giggle, you try not to melt at his words. The whiplash of him jumping between hot and goofy still leaves you reeling. "We'll just have to confirm between ourselves, won't we? Let the viewers decide on the consensus."
"I'm all yours, baby." Always have been, rings silently in his mind though you likely fail to receive the message. "No matter how many people are watching or what they're saying, we'll go at your pace."
"Our pace."
"Our pace," Soonyoung repeats affirmatively and holds out his hand.
You clasp onto it like an anchor, an unspoken deal mutually accepted by the action. And then you're using it as a way to pull him out of the bathroom, eager to share with him all the ideas you've brainstormed for tonight's livestream.
Tumblr media
This was it.
Your camming setup was in its desired location after making Soonyoung sit in various positions on the bed while you adjusted the angle for the best view. Then you turned everything off with strict instructions for the technology-inept man to not touch anything while you were gone and he lazily reclined on your bed to wait. 
He agreed just as amicably as he had after patiently listening to you stutter when finally discussing what you both felt comfortable doing on-cam. Winking lecherously as you leave the bedroom with his arms propped up behind his head causes his upper body to automatically flex. You'd probably seen more of his muscles today than you ever did over the couple of years of knowing him, the man only donning — startlingly normal-colored — boxers and various silver earrings dotting his ears.
"No tiger print?" you had asked, half teasing, half shocked.
"C'mon, it wasn't like I was that prepared. Besides, what's it matter when we'll be naked soon?"
And now you stand back in your bathroom with a cross look. Twisting and turning in different directions to assess your appearance in the vanity mirror. 
Seokmin's girlfriend has never done you dirty. In fact, she just seems to get better at buying things that not only flatter you but stuff you actually enjoy and feel comfortable with or in. And clearly, with this set… frankly, you think she's hit the nail on the head. But Soonyoung's casual words about getting naked eat at the normal self-esteem boost you would expect to be instilled by the beautiful lingerie.
It's simple and classy. Delicate yet sexy. Still, you don't feel as confident as you'd like to. 
But then you jump at the loud drawl of your name followed by, "If you don't come out here soon I'm gonna start touching stuff!" A beat of silence. "Hm, I wonder what this button does…?"
"Hey, you'd better not!"
"You're right, I'd rather be touching you! So get your cute butt over here before I count to three, ahem, one… "
"And I thought it was me who was supposed to be the one counting," you call back and roll your eyes. 
"Two… "
"Omigod! I'm coming, you beast of a man!"
"Yeah, that's what I want you to be say — oh, damn… oh wow… "
You barge back in and Soonyoung hasn't moved, still lying on his back and yelling on your bed like a child throwing a temper tantrum. But he turns to look when he hears you approach only to do a full-body jerk at the sight. 
Because his traitorous eyes are immediately drawn to the large but darling satin bow tied below a flattering display of cleavage created from the two matching pieces of fabric pulled comfortably snug around your breasts. Licking his lips subconsciously as his gaze follows the line of your body to the two additional bows adorning each of your hips and keeping the material of your panties on with one simple knot tied in each one. 
The man is mumbling all kinds of stuff you can't really make out as he sits up besides, "Oh my god," and probably something along the lines of "holy mother of —," and then curses. Suddenly your insecurity flares back up and you recoil instinctively to cover yourself even though he's already seen you naked.
"Wait, wait… don't hide from me…! No, no c'mere, baby. Please," his voice actually cracks as he begs and reaches out his hands, "let me see you… all of you."
And how can you resist when Soonyoung looks at you like that, glassy-eyed and tender? You go to him with timid steps until you're close enough to feel his body heat once more. 
"Sweet thing." Strong arms wrap around your thighs, hands gently laying against the back of them as he nuzzles tenderly around your stomach with his nose. "How are you gonna order me around when you get all shy on me like this?"
Your hands flutter at your side, twitching unsurely before they dare to settle on him — one plays with the tip of his ear free from piercings, and the other scratches his scalp with your nails right above his forehead. And Soonyoung practically purrs in contentment, strangely putting you back at ease. 
"Oh, you'll be surprised at what I can do."
He chuckles. "I always am. You're so beautiful and gorgeous, there's no reason to hide, okay? Never forget that. You still feeling alright?"
"Actually, yeah I'm… good. What about you?"
"Couldn't be better. Except my dick feels a bit numb as fuck but that's okay." When you snort, he smiles against your skin. "I'll manage."
"I'll take care of y — it soon, I promise."
He groans. "Might actually bust a nut at this point."
"Dear lord, Soonyoung… "
"Just kidding. Mostly." Backing away to get a better look at you again, his eyebrows crinkled. "You know I have excellent stamina and control. I'm as cool as a cucumber right now."
"Yeah, okay. Whatever."
"But you do look good enough to eat, goddamnit." Fingertips dare to caress the free end of the ribbon hanging from the knot tying your bra together. "This is new."
"Are you keeping track of the lingerie sets I wear?"
"Mhm… vaguely?"
You roll your eyes. "Yes, it's new."
"Thought so 'cause you've never worn dark green before but damn, do you look good." 
Soonyoung wiggles his eyebrows and you flick him gently on the forehead before turning around at his command. A low whistle and awakening twitch in his boxers at the satin that thins at the back, showing off the round perkiness of your ass. 
It's true that your normal colors are orange, black, or a combo. But the dark green material looks amazing against your skin, is fresh and new, and unsurprisingly — he finds himself hella down bad, noticing the way it also draws out the colors of your tiger lily tattoo that he's never really paid attention to before, when you've completed your 360-spin to face him again.
God, you're a vision.
"Hot, sexy, perfect… buy it for me to unwrap you, babe?"
You glance at the bows with a pout. "A friend bought them for me but I guess it makes sense, doing it with someone else is definitely more exciting with these."
"You said a friend?" Of course, that's the only thing he acknowledges even if he's indeed dying to undo all of the ties right away.
"Yes, Soonyoung. Again, I have friends besides you." 
"One that buys you lingerie?"
"Last time I checked, you weren't."
"Then I'll amend that problem."
"No thanks," you wave him off as you head over to your camming setup to start. "I get enough stuff as it is."
"I guess I should have my kittens gift me things." A hint of satisfaction fills his chest at the downward tilt of your lips when you turn back to the setup. But a pang overrides it because he can guess why you're really grimacing. "Since it's so worth it and all."
"Don't get all salty, I'll help you find a safe place to receive things if you want." You glance over only to find his arms crossed and a frown set on his face. "What's wrong? Did your cock fall off? Do I have to drive you to the hospital?!"
"No."
You're puzzled. "Then are you good to go or…?" 
"Yeah, I'm fine," he huffs, "sorry, got in my head a little."
"We can wait."
"No, it's all good. Let's get this show on the road."
"Alright… " 
You hesitate for a minute or so before decisively starting the livestream, the telltale red blinking dot starting after the countdown. Though your next words make Soonyoung feel like somebody dumped an ice-cold bucket of water over him, a cruel jerk back to the reality you'd both created. And maybe you just doused yourself with it too.
"Let's finally just get this thing over with."
TigerLily_61596 is now live… with a special guest!
The air has definitely suddenly shifted and both of you need to dial it in and dull it out. Whatever it may be. Because you've got an audience to perform for.
Luckily, it's easier than expected. The brief silence as you wait for viewers to tune in ends up permeating a blanket of calmness. The view count rises fast, everyone's excited anticipation is so palpable that it's starting to rouse in your body as well.
"Horang-HEY… " Soonyoung murmurs the infamous tagline while using his phone to monitor the chat. He's pleased to recognize many of the joining screen names consist of his regulars. "Yeah it's me, Hoshi AKA 0riginaltiger69. He/him pronouns, if you please."
He continues reading with a dubious adjustment to his covered crotch. "Ah, wooluv, kitten! No tigerprint…? Yeah, things are gonna be a bit different tonight anyways. Yeah, good to see you too. Miss me? Aw, missed my rowdy lil pussycats."
kingh0ng: im early for once but there's some just random dude talking abt his underwear?????
kingh0ng: and CATS????????????????? NOT PUSSIES???
NewUser4950: it's gonna be a collab
horny49yu: it's a good day to be a bisexual >>>
sugacub3s: and a furry apparently 🤨
"Hey now, no kink-shaming is welcome here."
While he starts an easygoing back-and-forth about whether or not kink-shaming could classify as a kink itself, you re-approach where he's seated on the edge of the bed. Fingers press into the firm muscles of his deltoids after you crawl to sit behind him and he sucks in a sharp breath.
kitkat69: 🤤 mama has finally arrived 
"Hi kitkat69, darling," you smile in comfort at the familiar user while peeking over Soonyoung's shoulder, a hand creeping over to brush above his pectoral muscle. 
NewUser3939: what are you okay with us calling u?
"Yeah, if you're new here… I don't care how you address me, I'm fine with anything. The regulars call me Mama, Tigress… all sorts. Spoiler alert though, I'm probably not the one you're going to want to be calling names tonight."
hoshis_d1ck: oh damn???? 🫦
wooluv: 😢 im so jealous 
You dare to tweak at the man's corresponding nipple. He grunts and leans forward into the camera, bare upper body hiding from the lens the way your lips purse at his actions. 
"'kay kittens, I hope you enjoy what we have prepared so get all comfy while the tigers set up their playpen." 
Once he moves to situate himself in front of the pillows piled by the headboard, you're quick to turn and kneel between his thighs. Dutifully showing off an enticing backside perched prettily on the back of your heels and the black leather strap draped over one of your legs hinting at what's in your hand.
s0turned0n: leash?! ummmmmmmm 👅
AnonymousUser4442: toys…….. oh- 🙃 😵‍💫 🥴
newuserjk: even between the 2 of them? yuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
deathbyd1cks: you look great in that set babe~ 😍 💦
crazy4w00: too true 😳
m3rs: HOT
"You're so cringey." Your whisper is just loud enough so only he can hear.
"And? They love it."
woolove: why can't that be me 😩😩😩😩
cumdaywh0ring: 😔 same here but which 1
horny49yu: again a great day to be a bisexual!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soonyoung's still reading the comments and you huff. "You're supposed to be paying attention."
"I am."
"To me," you clarify and take the phone out of the man's rather loose grip. Placing it on the nightstand, your covered breasts softly press against his firm ones and another quiet grunt escapes his mouth.
He's still not looking directly at you even as you loop your arms over his shoulders to put the collar around his neck. Bravely, you place what could almost be considered a kiss — featherlight — to the rapidly pulsating vein, raised and visible on his neck due to an extremely tensed jaw. 
A whisper of "Soonie," in his ear and you feel the tiny hairs on the nape of his neck rise despite how the flesh beneath the pads of your fingers burns. "Relax for me," you continue in a low, seductive tone and then fasten the collar with a resounding click. 
deathbyd1cks: 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 everyone shut up they r having a moment 
NewUser1920: feeling inherently single! ✌️
crazy4w00: may be the point lololol
wooluv: 🥲
Leaning back to assess how good he looks with the black leather stretching around the honeyed skin of his throat, the defiant spark that smolders inside of a swift glare before he's glancing away ignites something within you. Maybe he's doing this on purpose. Egging you on to deliberately provoke what happens next in the hasty script you're both choosing to act out, weird feelings be damned.
It helps. 
Hesitation is nonexistent when your hand runs along his sharp jawline until it reaches his bottom lip, pulling it downwards with your thumb. Two fingers slip inside Soonyoung's mouth and push down on his tongue, encouraging him to open wider which he readily obliges. Your other hand sneaks into his boxers, just barely grazing the head of the growing bulge confined in them, and decisively pulling out the second surprise toy of tonight's show.
kitkat69: jsfkdjafkjfkJDKJdfjjdf
cherry_scouper95: 😏😏😏 my colors ayo ❤️ 🖤
8starfucks: this fucks 1000/10
4ngelic_m3nace: me n who ME AND WHO??????
The red sphere of the ball gag is filled with holes but the solid surface molding the circular shape lays sticky between your fingers. Holding it enticingly between your own teeth, you can't help but stick your tongue out and let out a tiny moan at the salty excess purposefully left behind by his neglected, leaking shaft.
You're not sure when Soonyoung placed his hands on your sides but he kneads the bare skin with usual familiarity, squeezing just a bit rougher after the sound you made. Before you dare let yourself wander too far off track, you lean in close. An accelerated heartbeat mixed with ridiculous flutters can be felt in your chest, your stomach, and even between your legs. So traitorous that you would grit your jaw in irritation if you could.
Instead, you tilt your head, raise up onto only your knees, and place your arms around his neck again, this time for support. Using a skilled tongue — while continuing to tease yourself with the taste of his precum — to nudge the ball into his awaiting mouth. Lips dangerously brush together and you're surprised he doesn't flinch away.
"No kissing."
"Okay."
"Not gonna question why?"
There's no need to because you respect his boundaries as he does yours. But as familiar as he is with your idiosyncrasies, you also realize Soonyoung is pushing the matter because he wants you to ask. 
"No one gets to kiss your virgin lips, I know."
"Wha — "
"That's what your drunk self — that kisses people very often — told me once."
"Oh, hm…"
"Don't worry, I get it. You should save kissing for someone special. Like maybe Yuna."
"Huh… I guess?" He shrugs noncommittally. In a way, you almost feel bad for the girl he's going on a date with. In fact, that's why you're trying so hard to protect your own heart, dare it get treated so flippantly like this.
"Besides, there's no reason for any kisses."
Not unless it's you, think two dumbass minds.
And maybe you linger a little longer than necessary or needed during the brush of lips that's clearly not a kiss. Surely Soonyoung doesn't lean in a little further, pressing up closer against your entire body. Perhaps it's simply your imagination when his hands move behind your back as if he would never let you move away from him again.
deathbyd1cks: 🍿 😎
Anonymous33001: i feel like i'm intruding on smth v personal 😭
jejusb00s: it's called intimacy 🤌  a connection
s0turned0n: sad lonely n horny
But you do distance yourself. You have to. 
Once the ball is lodged in his mouth, you drop your arms down, guide his hands onto the bed, and lean to the side to secure the strap of the gag behind his head. He's a vision and you know it. 
He probably knows it too.
Loose bangs are pushed up off his forehead that glistens in the low light of the room. Sweat also shines between the peaks of his tiddies and valleys of abs that flex and unflex with uneven breathing. Saliva starts to pool past his reddening lips. A hazy look in his eyes that has to be mirrored within your own. There's no other choice but to be proud of such a masterpiece — him.
You also can't help but show a cheeky smirk to the viewers when you turn around. Seating your ass right on top of Soonyoung's large bulge like it's no big deal that the moist wetness soaking the satin covering your cunt blends right into the seeping mess of fabric covering him. Bracing yourself with hands set on the two strong thighs below, you start a lazy grind of your hips that have you biting your bottom lip coyly when he throws his head back with a series of frustrated groans.
kingh0ng: woooo some action from the fav
Putting on an act, you frown as if hurt. "What do you think I've been doing all this time darlings?"
NewUser9031: not paying attention to us :(
"Aw, I know you need attention too."
The pleasant sound of tips pouring in is satisfying as is but you always have ideas on how to rack them up even more and rile the dirty minds of the viewers. Drive them crazy. Seemingly Soonyoung has the same thought process and acts quickly. Quicker than you can even react.
tigressb00bl0v3r: finally my time to shine!
Deft fingers loosen the bow of your bra causing it to easily slide down your arms. Warm hands palm eagerly at your breasts, kneading and squeezing and squishing them at a much more aggressive rate than in the shower before. 
kingh0ng: now we're talking
cumdaywh0ring: SCREAMING
cumdaywh0ring: creaming
cumdaywh0ring: jerking off
cumdaywh0ring: yEs
tigressb00bl0v3r: i love boobs &lt;3
Soonyoung's harsh yet pleasurable groping means you've stopped moving, the attention to your chest keeping you captive both physically and mentally. So he kindly picks up the initiative, desperate rutting of hips up against your pussy as if he was actually fucking you from below.
The man wishes he could be whispering all sorts of naughty shit in your ear but the ball gag keeps him silent save for the groans and whines coming from his chest and throat. Drool dribbles onto your left shoulder creating a shimmering sheen of saliva for the camera that eventually ends up coating the upper swell of your breast. 
tigressb00bl0v3r: god i wish that were me 😩
dickarawrous420: u and me both 🤝
He goes on long enough for a copious amount of spit to aid his hand in gliding with smoother ease across your skin. Messier. Faster. Harder. The extra slipperiness only makes him apply more pressure to grip and grab at your tit, causing a low moan to build in your throat out of pity for the more neglected one. You feel the rumble of humor in Soonyoung's chest against your back and your brain has to fizzle out the tingles and remind your body to fight against the pleasure you're receiving in order to take back control.
Who's the one holding the leash anyways?
"Stop," you say sternly and place a hand on his forearm, noting the way those muscles twitch in response.
kitkat69: mama using big words now 🫢
sugacub3: seriousness is such a turn on
But the little bastard continues to fondle your other breast without pause so you reach behind, yanking at the band of the collar. He moans. The audacity.
"What did I just say, Hoshi? You know only good boys who listen get rewarded, do you not want yours?" You pretend to wait for a reply. "Oh, that's right you can't talk, so I guess someone else should make that decision. What's the verdict, loves — has he earned his?"
dickarawrous420: absolutely not
wooluv: he's a good boi to ME
h0n3ybun: even good boys need a lesson
deathbyd1cks: punish him! 😈 make him beg bby!!
NewUser88963: tie him up and teach him some manners
8starfucks: touching w/o permission is a BIG 🙅🙅🙅🙅
"Should've kept your hands to yourself, baby boy. Looks like they wanna see you pay for not listening. And honestly, I do too."
You're quick to switch to your original position so you can face him again and Soonyoung isn't afraid nor ashamed to admit to himself that the wild, unhinged look in your eyes is crazy sexy. It's almost enough to make up for the loss of contact with one of his favorite parts of your body. He would have never, ever pictured himself submitting to anyone during sex but it comes quite naturally when it's you. Though a part of him that's not his cock aches, wondering if this is truly all for the camera as usual or what you're really like.
Will he ever know?
Those thoughts are luckily banished quickly when you dictate he put his arms behind his back. He complies, grateful to even have this kind of opportunity despite the circumstances, and focuses on doing his best to enjoy every moment.
"I'm even going to do you a favor because I like you so much and would hate to punish you more for additional misbehavior."
deathbyd1cks: oh??? 🫢
horny49yu: 🍿 😋
crazy4w00: 😎 this is better than a kdrama
newuserjk: am i the only one who feels like im missing smth???
4ngelic_m3nace: yeah im missing some1 tied up on MY bed 
cherry_scouper95: idk bout yall im just here to get off 😗 ✌️
To be honest, you planned on never touching the hideous handcuffs Junhui gave you even if they were free. For multiple reasons. Banished and stashed away in the very bottom of your dresser drawers, you are quite proud of the substitution you'd chosen to use instead.
Unclipping the leash in case Soonyoung might accidentally choke himself anyways (though he might like that), you loop the leather strap across his wrists and forearms until it's bound tight enough just to remind him it's there if he gets too impatient. It'd be a joke to think that could actually restrain him if he really tried to break free. Still, it's great for theatrics.
All the while, you're murmuring in his ear if he's doing alright even though the establishment of safety words and signals were already made very clear before this all started. Your best friend assuages any worries with an imperceptible nod that only you can feel though he whines audibly over Svthub's steady cash flow notification at your bare chests brushing against one another.
You relieve him (thankfully) by moving away (sadly) and deliberately brush against his cock (evilly) with your knee when you sit yourself prettily on his thigh. His eyes roll back instantly, hips stuttering at the teasing action as well as the spongy material of your panties saturating his bare thigh.
He huffs wetly, chin and throat, inside and outside, coated with drool. Incoherent noises, a mixture of whimpers and words he's trying to say, grow louder in desperation when you start grinding with no mercy, riding his thigh at an unforgiving pace that's wildly fast. Your hands grip at the covers behind you for support as you thrust your hips towards him and then away, knee inching closer to once again nudge his hardness with your motions. Messy cunt oozing so much arousal, the viewers don't have to listen too hard to hear the nasty sound of soiled fabric sliding against skin.
beg4gyu: i debated if i should watch this or not
beg4gyu: i caved,,,,,,, im weak
beg4gyu: i can live w/ this tho
beg4gyu: esp if tigress uses him like a hq dildo 
wooluv: hey!
beg4gyu: hi!
wooluv: (derogatory)
wooluv: sorry it's not my strong suit
beg4gyu: 🤨 um 
beg4gyu: n e wayz glad to see i didn't miss much
Comment wars rage on as usual but you're too occupied to care. It was a hard choice to decide on at first. The ridges of Soonyoung's abs and the insane vein that leads down all the way to the mushroomed tip of his cock surely would have felt divine rubbing between the folds of your pussy. Perhaps that would have to wait until you were unclothed next —
Or just forget about it. There won't be a next time. There can't be. So you must let it leave your mind. 
It's not hard because his thigh wholly takes away any thoughts that even might enter your head, by far surpassing your expectations and dispelling any indication of disappointment. He flexes and releases the muscle just enough so it catches that sweet clit of yours at different points and angles while you slide back and forth. He'd give anything to push his knee up and temptingly stuff your soaked panties a teeny tiny bit inside your hole with a sinful squelch. 
Alas, he fears the repercussions if he tries to do too much. Content with the way your breasts jiggle cutely, wishing you were still wearing the pendant that you came home from the gym in so he could watch it bounce and sparkle in time with them.
You're moaning shamelessly now, mouth set in a gorgeous "O" and cute moans, almost squeals, coming out as you ride his thigh with even more vigor. Soonyoung hopes — prays — that you'll cum. Nearly cracking the ball gag with how hard his mouth squeezes around it in anticipation. 
The minute that thought resonates in his head, your body seizes up. Lower body shakes and shudders, lifting upwards… up, up, and up… enough for him to spy a hint of the dark green satin color turned black where it's wedged in between the puffy, soppy lips of your cunt that spasms slightly around the ruined fabric.
His eyes threaten to roll up out of pure delirium but he can't bear to look away and miss this moment.
Oh god, and then when you somehow have the wherewithal to move off of his thigh to engage with the hungry viewers that adore watching you come undone (who doesn't?), he just about faints. You even have the gall to wink at him over your shoulder and bet how many orgasms he can give you. He can't bother to try and pay attention as you continue to praise him in front of everyone watching just to egg on the comments and the long, blazing bling of money pouring in. 
Something itches at him. Soonyoung's well aware of the incredible amounts of arousal you're able to conjure with some lube helping you play with during your streams but he's floored. He could definitely feel the wet mess you were making on him. And then to see it. Slathered all over and across like he'd been oiled, it strikes a pleasant possessiveness as if you staked your claim on him. He watches star-eyed at the tiny quivers in your legs while you try and regain your breath.
Down bad, the poor man is. You'd be the death of him.
wooluv: i might have to accept i will never be as cool as tigress
wooluv: or as hot
"Aw that's not true, wooluv baby!"
h0n3ybun: believe in urself luv!!
wooluv: 😭 💔
"Seriously. Oh and hello, beg4gyu! Missed you."
beg4gyu: 😳 ME?????
"Yes, you silly. You were fighting with Hoshi during my last stream!"
beg4gyu: i was?
"He was under a different screen name but yes, it was so funny."
beg4gyu: yeah i mean i was and i was totally winning
You snort, shaking your head to hide your eye roll. "If you say so!"
beg4gyu: also… important -
deathbyd1cks: 🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱
crazy4w00: 😴😴😴😴😴😴
horny49yu: 😪😪😪😪 
beg4gyu: what's w/ all the haterz???
beg4gyu: this is a judgment free zone
beg4gyu: N E WAYZ why is he called 0rginaltiger if he's 69th 🤔🤔🤔
That makes you laugh and turn back to Soonyoung with a devious smirk, hand brushing against his bulging cheek. "Wanna tell 'em, tiger boy?"
It's a mocking tone you use, the ball gag still in his mouth obviously preventing the man from uttering anything except incomprehensible sounds at this point. He's not below begging in whatever way desired — rather be drowning in your arousal than his own saliva — and raises his eyebrows pleadingly. Dancer hips hump up pathetically but oh-so-temptingly, another strangled whine thrown in for good measure and shiny eyes threatening to tear up. 
Of course, you concede to finally taking it and helping with his boxers after removing the leash that's left pretty red streaks across his forearms showing where he strained against the binding. Your hands brush tenderly across the marks, a questioning hum while you wait for him to collect himself to respond.
"Guess we should," Soonyoung eventually chokes out in a raspy voice, "ya know…" a little too eager in the way he reaches for your hips, "demonstrate."
You click your tongue and gently yank on the collar before he can touch. His upper body jerks forward, merely inches from your face, nose brushing against his. 
"I don't remember you having the control here, Hoshi."
"Ah, but don't forget to lemme know if I'm doing a good job like before… "
And with that, you respond by pushing against his chest after the saucy wink and smirk sent your way. Urging your best friend to lay down on his back so you can place your knees around his waist, untying one side of your panties with a flourish while he rushes to slide a naughty hand over to assist with the other. Across the room they fly, joining the discarded toys on the floor with the nastiest splat imaginable.
NewUser94594: holy shit! 🫣 💦
dickarawrous420: my god... 👅
deathbyd1cks: 👁️ did sum1 say before? 
deathbydicks: hahaha n e ways — ruined ☑ 
You can't even be bothered to care, all your focus instead on the heat of your bare cunt pressed against Soonyoung's hard abs just as you imagined. He seems to be in a better mood and is finally obeying. But you don't like the look of the mischievous glint in his eyes when his teeth sink into his bottom lip, feeling what a sopping mess you still are.
He's covered in it. And he hopes for more. 
"You're so fuckin' beautiful," slips out before he can stop it which causes you to click your tongue to cover up the fact you're extremely flattered, cheeks aflame.
"Looks like I'll have to shut you up, huh?"
Twisting around and moving further up his body until your fluttering hole is over his mouth, you see his brow raise questionably.
"Aren't you gonna... ?"
"Work for it," you interrupt with a command and don't wait for his reply before seating yourself against his swollen lips. "Work for it and maybe I'll suck you off as a reward, baby boy."
sugacub3: this is SOOOO unfair
kingh0ng: im abt to unalive 
kingh0ng: i cant keep edging myself like this
kingh0ng: the drs r getting worried
AnonymousUser9999: weak
jejusb00s: concerning
There is zero hesitation in doing as demanded. Obviously. A vigorous tongue swirls to spell out his own name sloppily — s o o n y o u n g — against your sensitive clit, dipping into and all around your quivering pussy with each swipe, prod, and glide as you settle more and more of your weight onto his face. Tiny bites of cold metal from his earrings sting as they dig into your skin and only add to the pleasure. 
The man underneath you growls, absolutely feral in his euphoria, not minding being smothered one bit as your knees practically crush the sides of his skull. He would die a happy man this way. Nodding his head up and down in agreement then back and forth, nose coincidentally brushing against the rim of your asshole. 
You shiver at the sensation. Despite never having done any anal play, it's not that much of a turn-off. Paired with the vibrations from the noises he's making that fires off and alights your nervous system somehow even better than the XXL vibrator gift from Seokmin and his girlfriend, you're on some kind of otherworldly high. And his dick isn't even inside of you yet —
"Hah, he's… gawd, he's so good… at this!"
It's not like you forgot the only plea Sooonyoung asked of you but it's also not hard to fake or hold back the moans and praises that fall easily out of your mouth with his ministrations. Fully sitting back all the way, a treat to the viewers who can get a peek at your occupied lower body atop his shiny chin. Watching his jaw and tongue fervently working in tandem as he continues autographing your pussy. Sitting on his face like you belong there — which you do.
Only because his lungs are screaming for air, not because he's satisfied, is the reason he taps your ankle three times. Honestly, you find it a struggle to lift up and fall forward onto your forearms instead, the rest of your body prone against his. Soonyoung's rendered you weak, especially as he parts from your cunt with a lecherous wet smack like he's just had the messiest make out of the century. 
He kind of has.
You're left with your mouth hanging wide open and panting — though not as hard as he is — a flurry of emotions as your mind can only think of one thing. It's no surprise when drool dribbles out of the corner of your parted lips, perfectly falling onto the angry red cock below you that jumps adorably in shock at the contact.
deathbyd1cks: hehehehehe dick drunk dick drunk dick drunk 🙇
deathbyd1cks: called it! 
deathbyd1cks: 💵💵💵💵💵💵
h0n3ybun: i mean it IS pretty
horny49yu: THICC
newuserkjk: still feel like im missing smth
beg4gyu: its like a 100
beg4gyu: out of 100000000000000000000
wooluv: jealous much?
A wonky, dazed smile and a flutter of eyelashes dampened by tears is sent to the camera. While you might not be reading their comments, you can only imagine how they're eating this shit up. You let more drool accumulate and collect on the center of your tongue (easy with how good you feel and the sight before you), sticking it out so a singular clear strand can drip down from the tip. 
Like a baker drizzles icing on their cake with a spoon, you direct your head in various directions over his length. Eyeing greedily as it twitches agreeably and leaks more precum at the teasing, barely-there warm liquid that instantly cools beginning to coat it.
Whether out of repayment or retaliation, Soonyoung catches his breath and gathers up the moisture in his mouth (that probably consists more of your arousal than saliva), and then spits. Right at the pretty folds of your pussy that are eye-level if he keeps his neck lifted. Hungrily watching through a lidded gaze as it slides between them and mixes in with the sloppy cream that's starting to seep out and threatens to spill onto his chest. 
"This pussy…! Fuck, is it so perfect… totally made f'me."
His voice is choked and raspy. Like hell he'd waste any droplets of yours, vowing for them to only fall on his tongue. Hastily grabbing at your hips, pulling you back onto his mouth, and kneading at the plushness of your asscheeks before delivering a playful and light slap to them — daring you to finally suck him off.
And you do, reverently picking up his thick length with trembling hands. Marveling how it even makes your hands look small around it. Lying hot and heavy in your hold, you can feel the blood raging through its veiny prominence.
Then your lips are suckling at the tip, re-addicted to the salty tang you previewed thanks to the ball gag. Soonyoung lets out a grateful moan of relief and you echo it because of the satisfying taste of him.
horny49yu: actually
horny49yu: bad day to be a bisexual if youre not between them
4ngelic_m3nace: where do i sign up to be a part of this???
beg4gyu: bruh
beg4gyu: not b4 me 😑
deathbyd1cks: is sum1 having their bi awakening?
beg4gyu: no but
beg4gyu: ill do anything for tigress
wooluv: 😳 i think i might
deathbyd1cks: amen to that 🙏
Your best friend's now almost halfway inside your mouth while he's been tongue-deep inside of you in exchange. Granted, Soonyoung is only occasionally flicking your clit now, much lazier thrusts as he tongues and laps around your hole because it would be a lie to say he's not mildly distracted at long last by being enveloped with your warm mouth.
That's perfectly fine though, allowing a clearer mind to pay attention to him instead. Your head bobs up and down in a methodical, slow way until the tip of his shaft slips down your throat. Staying like that for as long as you can without breathing before popping off, proud of yourself for not gagging. 
Practicing with your toys for the past week must've paid off.
(Of course, you would die before you ever admitted that to Soonyoung, and likewise. Because if you asked him if he wanted to hear your gags, the answer is an obvious yes — but admitting it? Over his dead body.) 
You get more comfortable, breasts squishing against his thighs, forearms strewn across his calves so you can fondle at his ballsack while you work him deeper and deeper down your throat each try. Soonyoung mimics you, arms thrown across your lower back as he moans against your pussy. More than pleased when you start an unhurried, inconsistent grind that he happily continues to supply his drenched face for.
You're not even trying to look pretty for the camera, slobbering all over the place like you're devouring one of those ginormous round lollipops, nor did you intend to make such a mess. Who knows if it's precum or saliva dripping down between his balls? But there's so much that you can smear all around and all over like a heathen.
Only adding to all of it by briefly neglecting his cock (hand replacing your mouth to jerk him off because you're nice like that) and giving a love-suckle to each one of them simply because you can't resist with them right there for the taking.
kingh0ng: can it be a concern to cum sm???
cherry_scouper95: dude fr?? need to work on ur stamina
cherry_scouper95: get laid finally or smth
kingh0ng: im not a virgin!
h0n3ybun: no shame if u r
kingh0ng: w/ the amt of times i use my hands to these shows i could be tho 😔 
Soonyoung must be feeling the same way you do if his loud, open-mouthed moan and warm breath ricocheting against your clit are anything to go by. It might just be the hottest thing you've ever experienced, cunt squeezing deathly around his poised tongue that dips in and almost gets trapped. 
He growls, freeing it, and slaps your ass again, soothingly squeezing the sting away. Arms muscles taut as he holds your hips up and away so he doesn't quite literally drown in all of your arousal.
Still, licking his lips and tasting more of your tantalizing essence on them, he desires more.
"Think I can make you squirt?" He also thinks he deserves even more. "With just my tongue? Or… " A finger traces around the soft skin of your pussy lips, admiring the clenching and unclenching hole above him. "My fingers? Think you can do it for me, sweet thing?"
Instead of replying, you simply turn your head to the side so you can meet his dark brown, carnal eyes. Teeth scrape along that devastating vein and nibble on the sensitive skin that connects his pelvis to his cock.
"Watch it," he hisses, "easy, babe."
You whine, batting your eyelashes and mouth first curving downwards as it presses against his lower body before curling upwards in a smirk. "Only ever squirted with a dildo."
Soonyoung eyes your tiger lily tattoo and places an oddly domestic-like smooch to it. "Of course, the brat would challenge me."
"Wasn't — "
You let out the most unflattering squeak as he drops you back down on his mouth, slurping at your cunt again with an addition of a harsh suck. Before you can let him get too carried away, you match his pace.
beg4gyu: am i just a fly on the wall????
beg4gyu: do i even exist here?????
wooluv: 🥲 no 
wooluv: none of us do
deathbyd1cks: baby im not even here im a hallucination 👍
Licking from the base up to the slit that's trembling in your hold as your hand runs up a different vein, this time on the underside of his dick after another teasing squeeze to his balls. Deep-throating with much more ease, swallowing two to three times before coming up for air, and diving back down again. 
Rinse and repeat.
Soonyoung's hand sneaks between your body and his lower lip to fondle at your clit, pinching and pulling like a demon, though gentle in his actual administrations. The lovingly clumsy mannerisms of your best friend before are nowhere to be found in this pussy-drunk beast of a man who aims with precision at all your exact weak spots. Or maybe he was like that all along… 
And that's perfectly fine because damn Seokmin but he was right — you're positively, utterly, completely dick-drunk.
"In love with… in love with this pussy of yours," he rasps out and you mumble nonsense with a full mouth, responding more with the enticing wiggle of your hips. Encouraging him to bring you to that precipice, over it, and more while you return the favor.
deathbyd1cks: 📹 damn almost caught it in 4k
AnonymousUser7021: was there a lag??? did i miss smth??
deathbyd1cks: the confession of the century 😔 ✊
wooluv: HUH?
beg4gyu: HWAT???? THEYRE A THING???
crazy4w00: well not yet…
wooluv: 💔 so there's still hope 🥹
h0n3ybun: cute
cherry_scouper95: cute n all but r we ever gonna finish here??
cherry_scouper95: this dude's stamina…
kingh0ng: now who's weak? 😆 🫵
cherry_scouper95: 🖕
You're almost just as frustrated as cherry_scouper95. A mix of a growl and whine rises in your throat whenever it's granted reprieve in between thrusts, nails scratching and leaving crescent moon marks along his tense, sticky thighs. Because goddamn, even though his cock looks so achingly hard that it could probably stay up straight on its own, growing more difficult to bend it down your throat — he shows barely a hint of nearing that sweet release. You huff, cold air whooshing across his shaft and balls that has him jolting beneath you.
A brain cell lights up.
Sliding down his body, away from his mouth, and ignoring the devastating loss as well as his surprised groan of disappointment. Focusing as it turns to one that is pleasantly breathless in enjoyment when your breasts squish around his length instead. Pornographic moans ring out as the back of his head hits the mattress and shameful cries of "baby, babe, love," fill the air, so loud that the viewers have to lower their volume by a few decibels. 
"Oh, fuck… "
It only takes two slides up and down between your tits before Soonyoung's hips take on a mind of their own without your hands to hold him still. Rutting unapologetically and unforgiving up into the enclosed space, using your chest like it was nothing but a cocksleeve or fleshlight toy. 
You revel in it. 
Appreciating the pathetic grips and grabs at your asscheeks as he fails to ground himself. Sticking out your tongue to meet the pretty pink head that pokes through with each thrust tugging the foreskin back and forth as it rubs against your soft, tender skin.
You're positive he's almost lost control, surely chafing your skin despite the insane amount of wetness. Of course, you don't mind at all and add whatever moisture is left in your mouth so it can drip down your shared bodies, mixing in with the filthy, sopping mess that's probably ruined your bed. 
Soonyoung's intent on that promise, finally gathering hold on some of his wits to raise his head back up. Removing a hand to prop it behind his neck, the other one trails downward, pulling the fat of your ass slightly up. Your lower body presses into his to support the actions of your chest and torso but he's still able to see your empty hole leaking arousal all over the front of his body. 
You're right where he needs you. Wants you.
A digit pushes in to bury inside your cunt that greets the welcome, thick intrusion with a sickening squelch. He starts knuckle-deep out of caution before exploring farther, middle finger (essentially giving the viewers a big "fuck all of you" while inside your pussy) readily seeking out that bundle of nerves to brush against that he found in the shower. Stroking them relentlessly once found by his finger nestled within, and grinning sadistically when you cry out. Clit rubbing against the rough, top indentations of his abs.
"C'mon, baby… soak me. I know this nasty little hole can do it, know you can do it." Soonyoung growls when you feebly garble out his screen name. "That's right… mark me, baby 'n make me yours. Bet they're all crying out for you right now. But you'll do it all for me, just f'me, right?"
A strangled "Yes, Hoshi!" is ripped out of you followed by a wrecked sob as you grope at your nipples out of habit, coincidentally continuing to squeeze and release your tits around his weeping shaft. 
"Together!" you also beg with a scream, pleading for his release as well. The repetitive pulsating of his cock gains more consistency to match the rapid thumping of your heart beating in time against it which thrills you.
"Together," he confirms, "always."
AnonymousUser1205: wow hot damn
beg4gyu: just bc hes right doesnt mean he has to say it
beg4gyu: esp if he gets to be w/tigress >:(
cumdaywh0ring: let's gooooo
cumdaywh0ring: let's fcking gooooooooo
There's an audible hiss heard from both of you as your pussy lips tighten around Sooonyoung's finger, almost cutting off his circulation like a rubber band wound too many times. Cunt suctioning yet pushing him out, trapped as if his digit is a fish caught up in a dam, as you start to gush. Droplets of your essence dribbling down his flexed wrist that attempts to thrust within its limited range to coax you through your climax more.
"That's it, that's a good fuckin' baby," he praises and grunts, white spurts of cum erupting as his own release hits. "My baby. Take it, love. Take all of it 'cause you're mine, aren't you?"
The feeling of his cum hitting your face, tits, and mouth that's open already from moaning like the true star cammer that you are plus his hoarse voice repeating the demanding possession of, "Aren't you?," has you screaming out a confirmative "Yes, baby!". And then you're really gushing, squirting as desired because of his fingers and mouth, harder than you ever thought you could be capable of. Successfully ejecting Soonyoung's digit out in a spray that seems to last an eternity as you seize up and shudder and shake until you can give no more.
Most of it lands on his chest, dousing him and wetting the poor bed. With both of his arms free, he can basically do a light curl-up, tongue sticking out to catch whatever he can like a heathen. His balls empty and empty out across your face until his cock finally plops against your rubbed-raw chest, almost as weary as you are as it starts to soften. 
You may look like a complete and utter mess and wreck. But no one thinks you could look any prettier than you do now in this moment, especially Soonyoung whose muscles protest when he forces himself to move.
kingh0ng: is this heaven or hell
newuserjk: why not… limbo 😼
h0n3ybun: oh?
deathbyd1cks: 😏
newuserjk: $5 off, sale ends in 2 min! 
wooluv: my god… 😓 these ads
kitkat69: imma need 10 business days to recover,,,,
He fumbles a bit, hazy mind struggling to stop the livestream as he hastily thanks everyone for watching. Once it appears to have turned off, he chews on his bottom lip and decides to just power off the whole computer system for good measure.
"Hey." Handing you a water bottle after downing a few sips, he also grabs the towels and wipes from the table you'd prepared beforehand. Laying them down on the upper, cleaner part of the bed and collapsing back on the mattress with a bounce. "You with me, babe?"
Though your eyes are still glassy, you nod. Relief as the water soothes your scratchy throat. "I am, you good?"
"Perfect."
You both know you need to clean up properly before resting but it seems alright for now to just lay there and catch your breath. Soonyoung pulls you into his chest, rubbing circles on your back as a chill sets in — metaphorically and physically — in the sudden eerie silence shared between just the two of you in this room.
"Thank you."
Your best friend giggles. He goddamn giggles. "Was I that good that you're thanking me?"
A beat of silence.
"Honestly, yeah you were. More than good, you were great. With everything. So yeah, thank you."
"No, thank you." It's said with such gratitude, such conviction, and then a kiss is placed on the top of your head. Your heart thuds erratically. "You were perfect. Everything I've ever imagined and more."
"S-Soonyoung? "
"Hm?"
"… Wake me up in ten."
"Okay. But we'll have to wash up after, alright?"
You nod against his chest, shutting your eyes tightly. He inhales deeply, jostling you a bit to reach his phone and set the timer before tossing it onto the bed. Both of you miss when your respective phones light up with new messages.
"Soonyoung?"
"Yeah?"
Despite the way you want to relax and pretend like there's not the looming elephant in the room to face, you have to ask. 
Even if it hurts.
"So… what happens next?"
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
◇ Find out more in Part 3... cumming soon 😉 (like to charge, reblog to cast)
Tumblr media
onlyseokmins: April 2023 ©
1K notes · View notes
vitzi9 · 2 years ago
Text
Pretty when you cry
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ethan Landry x GN!Reader
Masterlist if you want to read my other things.
content warning: manipulative ethan; stalking; obsessive; maybe sub!Ethan; mention of murder; he's still ghostface; guilt trapping; worshiping; knife
English is not my first language sorry guys, if i did any grammatical mistakes lmk !
2924 words (7/05/2023)
Tumblr media
"Hi" he said simply. As if we were speaking to each other for the first time, but in the same tone with which one greets an old friend. It was ironic how I wished for weeks for him to come and talk to me and when he finally did, all I thought about was running away. He hadn't changed. And so much the better. He was still so handsome. Today, he wore a white shirt and a kind of jeans in a shade between dark gray and black. After taking a brief tour of his outfit, I look up at his face: the most beautiful part of his person. His frizzy curls looked fresh, as if he had just washed them. This thought was confirmed by the smell of shampoo that came to me on a light breeze. His cheeks were tinged with a pale pink that highlighted the small and discreet freckles that sported his cheeks. His gaze escaped mine, watching the floor with a strange and sudden interest as he pressed his lips together in a thin line. He was embarrassed, no, dead of shame. After all, I still hadn't answered him. I've only watched him so far. And I surely would have continued if I hadn't noticed his shaking hands.
What am I supposed to say to him? I greet him too, I compliment him? I ask him directly why he came to talk to me? After all, the only times we had spoken was to get him to tutor me. Are we even friends? After he stood me up without any explanation, approximately two weeks ago now, we haven't spoken to each other since.
“Hi” I simply replied. Ethan scratches his cheek as he smiles nervously at me, his gaze flicking briefly above me to look behind me. The redness on his cheeks getting worse.
“You uh… Your classes, how are you doing ? I… Like, you're good ?”
To be honest, it wasn't. Which is the main reason as to why I was asking him for lessons, by the way. So he knows all about those four out of twenty that I love so much. (Wrong, I hate them, I just don't have the IQ to have more) How handsome he was. Earlier this year, I had this fantasy where Ethan, who I hadn't spoken to at the time, came up to me and asked me out. Later, having learned about his shyness, I dreamed of seeing him overcome his bashfulness to come and declare his love for me while stuttering.
"I manage. And you ? Are you able to follow the program?
Of course he did. We are talking about Ethan Landry, the best student in the whole establishment. He succeeds in everything. Except talking to people, it seems. For the umpteenth time now, he glances over my shoulder. His eyes alternated with bewildering speed between my face and what was behind my back. Finally, I turn to see the only person in the hallway besides us, Chad, watching us with a big smile on his face and thumbs up. He lowers his arms the second my eyes notice him and he puts his hands in his pockets, pretending to turn around.
"Isn't that Chad?" I knew it was him, Ethan's best friend. But I just wanted confirmation.
-N-no aha, it’s… I don’t know who… It’s not Chad.” His laugh was forced and it showed. He was staring at the ceiling, shrugging and laughing nervously. Too smiley to be true. If he weren't already incredibly uncomfortable and flushed, his friend's intervention would have caused him to be.
"Why did you come talk to me Ethan?"
Our last discussion was two weeks ago. We had seen each other on Tuesday for my private lessons and it had gone incredibly well. He had scheduled a session for Thursday, of which I was counting every second until D-Day. I was smiling just reading our messages over and over again. Then Thursday arrived after an endless wait. I headed for the library, as usual. My smile glued to my lips, impossible to remove. I was on cloud nine. But Ethan was late, yet he had never been with me. I waited and waited and waited but after an hour and a half I left. He hadn't sent a message, nothing. Since then, not a word has been exchanged. In the hallways, not even a single look had been shared. We walked ignoring each other, like strangers.
"I'm sorry.
-For what ?"
I had some idea why he was sorry but I didn't want to get my hopes up. His eyes water, he opens his mouth but no sound comes out. Ethan extends his hand towards me which I grab by reflex. To be honest, he was starting to worry me. Was he really going to cry? Was it because of me?
“Ethan, are you okay? I forgive you if this is what bothers you so much but please don't put yourself in such a state. Do you want me to walk you home? I'll tell the teacher that you are not feeling well.” As I said that, I adopted the softest voice I could muster.
The curly man holds my hand, he intertwines our fingers together. His tears finally running down his cheeks. A few tears escape him.
“No… he almost sighs.
-'no' what ? I ask, worried.
-I'm not feeling well…"
My concern increases considerably. Forget him which stood me up. His state is much more worrying. Without really thinking about it, my hand rests on his shoulder. I start guiding him to the exit but he seems to realize it. He plants his feet on the ground, shakes his head, then grabs my hand resting on his shoulder.
Ethan was keeping me here.
He raises his angel eyes to me. He was so handsome. His pupils were glowing. The boy opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Frustrated, his tears seem to intensify. He lowers his head, his beautiful curls falling in front of his eyes that I love so much.
"Ethan, you can tell me anything."
I was hoping he would open up to me a bit more. We were close, certainly not like best friends, but I considered myself loyal enough not to snitch his problems to everybody. Plus, I wasn't lying. He could tell me anything, I will help him as best I can. Ethan runs his thumbs over the backs of my hands, a slight smile on his lips. For a second, he seemed at peace.
“My love… he whispers and I almost thought I was dreaming.
But this peace does not last
-What ?
"I..." His lips quivered.
Did he really call me 'my love'? My heart was beating wildly. He sniffles and tries to swallow back his tears, to no avail. Finally, Ethan snaps.
“I…I can't sleep anymore, I can't do it anymore! he exclaims between two cries. Every time I close my eyes, I see your face. I miss you, I want to continue to give you private lessons, even my homework if necessary. I'lldo them for you. Everything, I'll do everything for you…” he had spoken so quickly that he was out of breath. His tears had not stopped, quite the contrary. He had let go.
His sudden outbusrt make me retreat for a split second. The curly man's hands squeeze mine tightly, as if to keep me from moving further away. I don't understand, my absence has affected him so much? Why didn't he come talk to me sooner, then? And since when does he feel that way about me? His words were excessive and I thought he was going a little too fast. He was so desperate that he saw my face all the time? That he was willing to do 'everything' for me? I thought that my crush was not reciprocated, worse, than he considered me as a simple classmate. If I expected that! But where does this outburst come from?
“Breathe Ethan, breathe.”
Like a child, Ethan nods. He tried to calm his breathing while I tried to slow my heartbeat. I knew Ethan hadn't had a lot of conquests in his life, but I never would have imagined him to be so dependent.
"I'm sorry, really sorry...
-Why are you apologizing?
-I left you alone, I swear I haven't forgotten you. I've been thinking about you all the while i was doing it...
So he was really apologizing for that. But why is he making a fuss about it? I had already imagined this scenario and honestly, I expected an apology, a justification and that was it. Why was he so affected? That guilty? His words got mixed up and in the end, I lost track.
- It's okay Ethan, it's not that important. Is that what stresses you out so much?
- What can I do to make you forgive me?
-Ethan, I already told you, I forgive you, it doesn't matter.
-No, he shakes his head, tell me.
Feeling that if I didn't take matters into my own hands the situation was never going to end, I decided to ask for a simple favor.
-Where were you that day? I ask, alluding to the day he stood me up.
-That's stupid." Despite his words, I give a nod encouraging him to continue. Promise me not to be afraid.
-Why would I be afraid of you Ethan? I ask, laughing softly. He's an angel, how can you be afraid of him?
-Promise me."
His fingers gripped my wrist tightly. It almost hurt me. For a moment, the thought that indeed Ethan could scare me crossed my mind. However, I thought of it too late.
-I was supposed to be only ten minutes late, and I apologize for that, but you had to be outside your room for me to get in it.
-What ? I ask laughing, not understanding where he was coming from.
-When I got in your room, there was a perfume that was not yours. But I had already felt it somewhere, on someone. And… I-I'm sorry that pissed me off and… I-I thought you were cheating on me and I was scared and… I cried but I kept smelling the perfume of that-
-Ethan, stop here, I don't understand anything. What are you talking about? I was no longer laughing, the strange details he gave me seemed too precise.
His tears flow, without warning, he takes me in his arms and presses me to his chest. He hugged me tightly, I almost couldn't breathe. His face plunges into my neck, which he was soaking with his tears. He kept saying he was sorry over and over while I tried to understand. Was he telling the truth?
-I felt so guilty for hurting them that I didn't dare come and talk to you. I was terrified that you would run away from me when you eventually find out. It was horrible. Never again. Never part from me again, I beg you. I'll die of it.
I felt his every word knock against the skin of my neck. He was whispering, as if telling me a secret. And maybe it was. I was praying that another student would come down the hall and see us but the odds were low, very low. Ethan had cornered me at the end of my class, everyone had left. The sun was already falling asleep outside the window. Panic quickly set in within me.
-Ethan you're crushing me! I wasn't even sure he heard me since buried in his chest, my voice was muffled.
-I thought you were cheating on me b-but… I’m sorry for thinking that, sorry sorry sorry sorry...
What did he do ? Who was he talking about when he said “having hurt them”? Where is the shy Ethan who softened my heart? Unconsciously, I start to shake. My arms try to tear themselves away from the grip he had on them but he was crushing me too hard; I couldn't move. His arms clung to mine along my body.
-I should never be mad at you again, ever again. Do you forgive me ?
That's when it comes back to me; the framework. Coming home the evening of the day Ethan and I ended our relationship, my frame was splintered to the ground. The shards of glass had been flying all over my room. The photo remained intact; a picture of me and my roommate, but the frame was dead. I hadn't given more importance than that to the situation itself, my window was open and then said roommate was at home during the day. I just thought that a draft had knocked it down or that my friend was clumsy: it happens after all.
No, it was him.
-Ethan, I speak in a shaky voice, please let me go.
-No ! he yells. You promised me ! You promised me you wouldn't be afraid of me!
-E-Ethan please….
- I'm sorry, i'm sorry !
Ethan, six feet tall, collapses to his knees in front of me. He buries his face in my stomach, his arms wrapping around my waist. He speaks in my skin, muttering countless excuses and promises. Immediately seizing the opportunity, I grab him by the shoulders and push him with all my might to the ground. Surprised, he let me go. His back hits the floor, he lets out a plaintive moan mixed with his cries. Without thinking, I turn my back to flee. But Ethan is strangely fast. He gives me a powerful kick in the shin which in turn makes me fall on my stomach.
Ethan is crying. His cheeks are drowned in tears and red. I don't find him as handsome as before when he slightly pulls up his t-shirt to pull a knife out of his pants.
"Why are you doing this to me ?" he growled, his face lowered to the ground. So far, he's let it go. But there, his energy had changed. He was a murderer.
I crawl on the ground, moving away from him, my eyes filled with terror. I'm gonna die. I'm going to die here, alone, killed by the boy I loved. Ethan towered over me, taking small steps towards me.
“I'm begging you…” I cried.
I was desperate, there were no more solutions. I thought, as I disappeared, maybe Chad would figure out who my killer was, since he was the last one to see me other than Ethan.
"You told me you wouldn't be scared..." he pouted as he crouched down on top of me. Afterwards, his actions keep surprising me as he sits on my pelvis. He had fun bringing his knife to my neck and caressing me with it. The coldness of the metal makes my hair stand on and shivers appear all over my body.
"Ethan, please take that away from me... yelling at him wouldn't get me anywhere, so I was begging.
- No, don't be afraid. You know very well that I would never hurt you.”
His promises, I wanted no more. I wanted him to leave me alone, forever. My hands were free, yet I no longer controlled them. They were completely flat on the ground. I couldn't lift a single finger.
“Do you want me to prove my devotion to you? the curly boy points the knife at him.
The sharp tip of the weapon is now to his throat. Ethan looks at me and smiles. His free hand lay comfortably flat on my chest, holding me firmly to the floor. The vision unfolding in front of me was horrific. I was praying that he wouldn't be able to take his own life in front of me, on top of me! I didn't want to see it though, my eyes refused to look away. I was terrified that he would plunge his knife in me without warning.
- You love me too, right? he asks, stroking my cheek with his thumb. Tell me that you love me. You love me so much, my love. You love me so much you're ready to die for it.
-Ethan listen…
-Answer." he orders.
The roles had switched. He had given me a position of superiority, adoring me, throwing himself at my feet for even a pardon, but he was sick of it. And now not even my pleas will reach him.
“Imagine how romantic that would be, huh? May the students meet us tomorrow morning, both dead and entwined. It would be wonderful.” His smile was that of a sick man. What more do you need, my death? You want me to stick this pretty little knife in my heart for you? That I tear it down and give it to you as an offering? Come on, tell me you love me. I know you do.”
Finally, I manage to close my eyes. His description had managed to repel me enough to allow my brain to kick in the survival instinct. Ethan laughs mischievously. I feel him move, all his weight crushing my body. His lips settle on my neck for a second.
“You want me to kill myself, huh? I'll kill myself because of you. All because you don't love me. How can you be so selfish? he kisses my cheek. Tell me you love me, my love. I need it. His thumb passes over my eyelid gently, making me open my eyes.
I knew I was stuck. He was one step ahead of me, physically and mentally speaking. He had me stuck. My eyes were red and swollen.
-I… I love you… I whisper, choked cries leaving my mouth at the same time.
-Where is my first name, pretty ?
And to think that I was dreaming of saying those words to him a few minutes earlier.
-I… I love you Ethan… The curly man's face lights up, a gaping smile erasing his crazed expression.
- There, it wasn't so complicated now, was it?"
Tumblr media
That was my first story in english. please do not hesitate to gives me advices whatsoever, like if you think that the plot was too quick, ethan too out of character, not enough details, everything ! I hope you liked reading it anyways.
800 notes · View notes
urf1lterr · 2 years ago
Text
lovesick | pedro pascal [2]
Tumblr media
"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."
next chapter: [3] previous chapter: [1] series masterlist
summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.
pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader
genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually
word count: 6.7k
status: in progress
author's note: this chapter was for fun- i have the 1975 on repeat so i had to lmao. i kinda wanna do a slow burn because i don't want to make anything happen so fast. and pedro was at the oscars a few hours ago so why not post another chapter for him :) not edited.
You hated working weekends.
Something about waking up extremely early on a day that was supposed to be your day off irks you. Why have a scheduled rest day if you're just going to be scheduled to come in? It made zero sense, especially since you were only given a two hour notice before while sleeping.
No pay, clothes, gifts could ever make you happy after being called in at 5am for a 7am shift-
"Venti iced white chocolate mocha with oat milk, vanilla sweet cold foam, caramel drizzle, and light ice as always," Pedro listed as he handed you the coffee.
"Oh my god, I think I love you," you blurted out, staring at the cup in awe.
"That was fast, I see now why you're single," Pedro replied, giving you the side eye. "And soon diabetic."
Rolling your eyes, you take a sip of the coffee before shaking your head. "Not like that, you moron," you scoffed as he glared at you. "I love coffee too much- and who says I'm single."
"Think of it as your reward for waking up to the call," he joked as you just stared at him annoyed. The one time you turn off your do not disturb and this happens. "Your loneliness says otherwise."
"I am not lonely!" you gasp as he shrugs. "I'll have you know I am dating-"
"If you dare say Matty Healy I will personally push you in a bush-," Pedro declares, stopping you as you try to interject. "-and won't help you back up."
Huffing, you cross your arms as he laughs at the sight of your defeat. He knows you too well considering the fact you only met two months ago.
In fact, these two months were probably the best ones you have had all year. Not only did you experience some awesome moments you're sure you'll never get to witness again, but you got along with a lot of special people.
What made things even better was the fact that you got along with your boss because who knows where you would've ended up if Finn was a total douche- which he wasn't. But he did have his moments where he took your kindness for weakness- like asking you to come in for shift on a Saturday.
One thing that definitely advanced would have to be your relationship with Pedro. Nearly best friends is what you two were typically called on a normal day on set by how close you've become.
The nearly part added because nothing could ever come between his relationship with Bella, or Bellie in his own words. And because Jules always made sure to tell the jokesters that she was not giving up her position just yet.
But when it came to work, Pedro was always there for you. Considering he's been in the industry since before you were even born, which he yelled at you once when you joked, he was the best support.
He would even ask you what you were assigned to do and tell you specifically what was wanted without you even asking- even finding ways to physically assist before being caught and sent back to his actual job.
There were also the constant times where he would spam you with iMessage game requests to 8 ball and ignore you after beating him three times in a row, claiming his phone died despite your messages being sent through.
The only thing that made today better was that he was here because who knows how boring the day would have been if you were spent hanging with the technicians who; in fact, did not appreciate the countless times you dropped a mic.
"Why didn't Jules get called in?" you questioned as he turned up the computer brightness you were using. "That girl never wakes up early but I kid you not, she was playing minecraft on her computer when I was leaving."
"I love minecraft," Pedro sighed.
"I do too, but Jules always sends the creepers to my house," you complain. "They always destroy my garden."
"I could only imagine the devastation in your eyes," he dramatically exhales as you nudge him. "But I think it's because you're more...attentive? Not saying that she isn't, but she sure loves to talk about Jersey Shore in between takes."
"She's been binge-watching all the seasons after work."
The conversation ended once he was caught again by one of the producers and lured out of the office you were in. Initially, he searched around the studio and found you to gift the coffee, but he stayed because he did not want to sit on the makeup chair for another round of a drastic look being applied to his face- especially if you weren't there to pester him.
As for you, once clocked in Finn managed to have you scan after emails as a way to apologize for the call in. Apparently, one of his assistants called out so he decided to use you as their replacement since he couldn't find the time to sit down in a cozy office and do so.
But you were totally not complaining.
That only lasted you about two hours before you were finished and terribly bored.
Throwing the empty cup of coffee in the trash, you decided to walk around in hopes of finding something better to do or else you would've fallen asleep on the desk.
You would've if you weren't scared of the thought of a director finding and; consequently, firing you.
Hearing a loud noise, you quickly averted your eyes where your ears were signaling where the noise came from. Lightly jogging behind a curtain, your eyes widened to a sight of a desk on its side and a man hovering over it.
"Joon?!" you exclaim, running over to find him lowly panting, trying to remain his coolness as you began inspecting him to find any injuries.
"I'm fine," he calmly replied, using his dimpled smile as a way to reassure this but you didn't believe him. That was a loud drop.
"Why in the world are you lifting a desk that surely isn't less than 30 pounds?" you glare as he chuckles at the fake anger you poorly tried displaying.
"One of the technicians asked me to bring it out."
"And did you forget that your back would disagree?"
He shuts his mouth for a second, loss for words at your comeback. "I couldn't say no," he shyly replied. "I didn't want to have to pull out my medical forms explaining why I can't lift a table."
Feeling your face sink, you helped him stand straight as he glanced down at the fallen table. "You should have called for help then- everybody would need help for a gigantic table like this."
He only nodded in response, making you feel bad. You felt like you were lecturing him, technically you were, but you didn't want to find out in the future the reason he stopped attending work was because he pulled his back again.
"I'll drag this out," you declare as he tried slapping you hands away from it.
"It's too heavy for you!" he argued.
"Which is why I said drag," you countered back, ignoring his pleas as you somehow managed to lift the table back to its standing positioning.
Walking around it, you bent your back as you began pushing it around the curtain as Joon followed your position, crouching next to you for the extra support.
If it wasn't for the film crew being around the floor, you were sure you would have passed out right then and there. But you couldn't let them know how weak you were.
"And that's how teamwork makes the dream work," you announce, causing Joon to giggle before giving you a high-five as the two of you stand up from your bent posture.
Joon was another person you got along with incredibly well. For one, you guys were the duo out of all the interns. Every job you had that included another person, he was always there.
There was also the many times the two of you, and Jules of course, would carpool together to get home. It turned out Joon was also friends with some of your college classmates so he was always the only person from work who joined you guys for the random nights of cheesy movies and boring games while eating takeout with your other friends.
Despite hanging out for so long, you felt dense when someone called him Namjoon one time, even turning your head around for this Namjoon, completely oblivious to the fact that Joon was connected to Namjoon.
To be fair, he never went by his full name claiming that his nickname sounded more 'chill,' or whatever that meant.
Other than that, you were sure he was your other best friend. Well, after Jules and maybe Pedro. They were probably on the same level if you had to arrange them- not that friends had to ranked.
"Are you ready for this afternoon?" Joon called out as the two of you walked off the stage back to the curtains.
"For what?"
He sent you a surprised look, scaring you because is there something crazy happening that you had to prepare for? "Do you have your phone?"
Patting your back pocket, you shook your head. "I think I left it in my bag. Why? I'm about to cry if you don't tell me," you impatiently whine.
"What kind of fan you are," he simply responds, causing you to widen you eyes.
Immediately jumping on him, you shake his shoulders repeatedly. "What is the 1975 doing?! You must tell me or I swear to the gods I will bust your kneecaps and make you crawl for help."
He bursts out laughing at your threatening begs, trying to calm down your jumps by grabbing your shoulders to hold you. "You're violent."
"And you'll need surgery if you don't hurry it up."
Tapping your shoulder to calm down, you slowly do so. "3 o'clock is when their tickets go on sale for their upcoming tour, one of the dates being in New York City."
You could have sworn you were about to faint if it weren't for Joon pulling out his phone to show you you still had time to mentally prepare for the combat you were about to enter.
That's what ticketmaster was, a war zone.
"How was I not aware of this?!" you cry out, internally panicking about what you were going to do. You can't miss out on this concert, you just had to see these British people in person in order for your life to be complete.
"They did just post the news half an hour ago," he admitted. "Good for you for not being addicted to your phone."
Scowling at him, he quickly closed his mouth as you went over all the things you needed to do to prepare. "Wait, can we go together? None of my guy friends like them."
If you weren't in your own world mentally planning how you were going to beat all these teenage girls online, you would have noticed Pedro walking up to the two to you. But you didn't because your mind couldn't stop thinking about Matty Healy singing 'She's American' because you were indeed American.
"Why does she look deranged?" Pedro questioned, standing a few feet away from you. "Oh no, did Matty Healy die?"
Glaring at him, you ignore his irrelevant comment and face back to Joon. "You and me, my place straight after work. Got it?"
He nods, already in game mode because he knows how bad the two of you need to witness this concert.
Pedro exchanged a crazed look between the two of you, assuming his own ideas as to what you meant. "You're having a party and didn't invite me?" he tried joking to understand the conversation a bit more.
"No time for fooling around, Pedro," you state, grabbing Joon by his arm and making your way back to the office to search for your phone. "We have important business to settle, see you around!"
He watched the way Joon and you walk away hurriedly and wonders if you have a thing for the boy. It would make sense right? Joon was around the same age and he saw you guys work together all the time.
Shaking his head, he walks back to the stage trying to not overthink whatever was flowing in his head. But he couldn't help but question why he was never invited to your place? He instantly rejected that idea, he was twice your age. There's no way that was realistically appropriate.
However, you were friends- so wasn't it hypothetically okay?
No, there was no way he was really debating this. It's completely understandable why he didn't need to be invited over and Joon could.
But how many times did Joon come over?
Stop. His thoughts were confusing him and he needed a distraction. He wasn't going to let another man make him envy of where his friendship stood with you because there is no way he's jealous Joon might take his close friend status.
Because that's who you were to him, a close friend.
After another hour of working with Joon secretly about the tickets while emailing more people who Finn ordered, you two were finally cut for the day.
And luckily you still had two hours before the tickets went on sale.
"I need to grab my coat I left backstage, meet me outside?" Joon asked and you nodded, waving him off as you put on your own coat and bag.
Sprinting out of the office, you didn't expect to fall on the floor by the the person who ran into you. Well, the person fell to the floor while you comfortably landed on top of them, their arms wrapping around you.
"If you missed me that much you should've just texted me sooner to drop by," you heard the culprit chuckle, immediately making you shake their secured hands off your waist to stand.
"That was definitely not the case," you laugh, sticking a hand out to help him get up.
He raises a brow while staring at your hand before taking it, instantly pulling you back down with him. Falling over again, you slowly slip into his arms before finding your balance and giving up on helping him.
"How adorable of you to think you can lift me up," he grins, pulling his own weight up.
"I would love to stay and chat," you start, before looking past him and back again. "But I have something very important to do."
Trying to move around him, he stops you by grabbing your shoulder. "That's why I came to be a generous person and offer you a ride- so you can be home faster and do whatever you needed to do with Josh."
"His name's Joon."
"That's what I said," he ignores you're doubtful glance. "I can take you guys to your apartment."
Thinking it over, it would make it easier and faster to get home and prepare for the sale. If you would've taken a cab and subway it would have been an hour, with him it'll be half that.
"Fine," you spit out and watch as his face lights up. "But I am not owing you anything, you offered."
"Love how two months ago you would've begged the world for me," he placed a hand over his heart. "Oh how comfortable you've gotten with me."
"I don't want to hear it," you shun him, walking past him as he makes a silly face behind your back. "I can feel that!" He immediately stops, surprised you sensed it.
Maybe the two of you gotten a long too well.
"He's gonna drive us to my place, it'll be faster," you quickly explain to Joon who just nods, happily smiling at Pedro who sends him a fast greeting.
Right as you walk through the parking garage and see the familiar black car, Pedro unlocks it before quickly pushing you into the passenger seat, ignoring your protests and slamming the door before you could slip out.
"Not cool," you utter once he buckles inside the driver's seat.
"Don't make me cry," he fake cries before pulling the car out and hitting the road back to your place.
Due to it being the weekend and everybody wanting to be social and outside for some reason, the streets were packed.
It didn't help that Pedro thought starting a deep conversation with Joon about why electric cars annoyed him, knowing damn well Joon loved the environment, was a good idea.
And Pedro's defense being because he loved the smell of gas made you want to slap him.
As if the heavens felt your annoyance, your wish was granted. You were finally in the front of your apartment complex with Pedro pulling up along the red curb. You would've fought him, but you were desperate to get inside as you barely had an hour left.
"Thanks, see you Monday!" you exclaim, jumping out of the car and slamming the door shut. "Let's go, Joon!"
Barely stepping a foot out, you heard Pedro begin talking. "Wait, what are you guys gonna do?"
"Very intense work," Joon stated before turning to you. "But we got this in the bag."
Pedro squints his eyes, curiously scanning your body language because he does not know what this very intense work meant.
Working out? Making out? What the hell was it?
"Of course we do, love has no limits," you declare, making Pedro cough as you grabbed Joon's arm. "Now, let's go!"
"What are you two going to eat?!" Pedro called out, making you heavily sigh and turn back around.
Faking a smile, you gritted your teeth. "Don't know. Maybe we'll cook or make Jules' grab food as we work."
He makes a face, not convinced he wants to let you guys leave. Now that he was here and his day was over with, he didn't want to be alone.
But he also didn't want to tell you he wanted to stay. He wanted you to invite him- but you weren't getting the hint. Or maybe you were, but you couldn't have him in the room while working with Joon.
"That's cool, did you know I make a killer chicken alfredo?" he speaks out, making you pull an interested face as you were very much not. "Especially with garlic bread."
"Make sure to make that once you get home, safe travels," you wave, trying to turn away but was once again stopped by his voice.
You could feel your kindness slowly leaving your body. Was this the day you would be arrested and charged for murder?
"You know what's the secret with making the pasta?" Pedro questions as Joon replies back a curious, "What?"
"The sauce!" he exclaims as you try to control yourself. He was definitely pushing your buttons but you had to stay calm- you had to.
Joon was too interested in the conversation Pedro was beginning, trying to ask what was in this mysterious sauce. You knew you had to interject or you would both be ticketless.
"Maybe you can tell us about this secretive sauce on Monday, when we next see you," you force a laugh, trying to slowly take a few steps back to inch towards the entrance doors. "We really have to g-"
"Why wait till Monday when I can tell you now?" he claps, getting reading to explain his recipe. "For starters, you need a thick, sauce that can sp-"
"Oh my god!" you squeal, causing both men to jump and stare at you in shock as you rambled on. "The parking structure is around the block, my number is 912- just park and come up! Let's go, Joon!"
With that, Joon and you ran inside and Pedro smiled to himself. His planned worked. He guessed the only way to get to you was by speaking nonsense until you gave in- he'll remember that in the future.
Rushing through your door, you took your coat off as Joon pulled his laptop out if his backpack and set it next to your desk.
You looked at it confusingly before asking, "you carry your laptop with you to work?"
"Duh, an intern should always be prepared for computer work," he replies as if it was the obvious rule we should all know.
Shrugging, you turned on your PC and immediately went to ticketmaster, finding that the tickets weren't going on sale until 35 minutes from now. "We still have time to breathe." That was until you heard light knocks on your door. "Spoke too soon."
Walking up to your door, you see that no one was out there.
That was until Pedro decided to jump out from the side and scare the living shit out of you.
"I'm not doing this," you glare, trying to slam the door on his face, but he forced his way in while laughing at the scream you exhaled before.
You stared at him with no expression as he fell to the floor, continuing to laugh as if your fear was the funniest thing in the world. Joon was even silently giggling in the corner, stopping when you made eye-contact with him.
Trying to find a bowl to fill with water so you could throw at him, your plans were interrupted when you heard your roommate's voice boom across the room.
"Who the fuck is making so much noise?! Some of us are trying to sleep- ah! Why is Mr. Boss here?" Jules' gasps, jumping behind the hallway wall and peeking only her head out, too embarrassed to show off her hello kitty pajamas.
"He's gonna make us some pasta with his secret sauce," Joon happily states as she just gives him a confused look.
"Plus, it's almost 3 in the afternoon...," Pedro adds, giving her a baffled look as to why she is barely waking up.
She just gives him an awkward glance before running back to her room, shutting the door. Saturday's were her day off, of course waking up after 5pm was normal.
"The time limit just turned green! Refresh to join the waiting room-" Joon began screeching, doing so on his computer as you jumped around Pedro to do the same on your PC.
Slowly walking up to where Joon was, Pedro began examining the situation you two were in. Reading over your computer screen, his face fell. "The 1975 2022 World Tour...were you guys seriously trying to buy concert tickets this whole time?!"
Joon and you exchanged innocent glances to one another, not sure if he was judging you for your dedication.
"No, we still are trying to buy tickets," you simply reply, pushing him away from your computer.
His negativity was bad luck.
"This is why you were rushing to get home? All for-"
"Be gone, pessimist. Your energy is not it," you frown, moving your game chair to block his view from your screen. "Joon, block your computer, we can't afford his cynical attitude to ruin our chances of making out with Matty Healy."
"Making out with Matty Healy? You still want that? How is he gonna notice you?" Pedro asks, trying hard not to laugh in your face.
You were quiet for a minute. It was just a crazy thing you said because of all the videos you had seen online whenever it was somebody's birthday or they were just a lucky fan in the front.
You weren't actually dedicated to kissing him, but you did wish.
Joon slowly raised his finger, pointing at Pedro. "You're famous, right? Maybe if you went he'll notice us?"
Eyes widening, Pedro quickly shook his head as you placed your hand over your mouth. He was right, maybe he wouldn't kiss you, but he would for sure meet you if he found out a famous actor with over a million followers on Instagram attended his show.
"Not a chance," Pedro declared, ignoring your puppy dog gaze as you just hoped doing it for long would make him so uncomfortable he would give in.
Nudging Joon, he followed your actions with the sad stare, the two of you in front of the poor actor, leaving him really no choice. You were even thinking about calling Jules out to help, but she probably wouldn't appreciate it by her state of looking homeless.
But if it were on a work day she would totally be in.
"You just look like a deformed bull terrier," he says, pulling a disgusted face. "It's kind of unattractive."
"What is that?" you urge, watching Joon hold a laugh.
"The target dog," Joon answers for you.
Shrieking, you smack Pedro in the arm. "My god, woman! You always hit me."
"You're coming with us to the concert," you announce, watching him roll his eyes. Before he could reject your demand, you beat him to it, "if you don't I'm never talking to you again."
"Please, I've been wishing for that for weeks now," he cheers. "Plus, I'm pretty sure I am busy the day they come."
Pulling yourself close to the computer, you check to see the day they were arriving. "So you're saying you aren't free November 7th?"
"Kid, that's basically a year from now. I can't guarantee anything."
"Damn, you're right," you frown, your mood going down. Joon's idea was pretty amazing, but just wrong timing since the concert was so far away. "You can leave now."
"And what about that famous chicken alfredo?" Pedro chuckled, finding your change in demeanor amusing. You must really love these indie boys.
You were about to reply when Joon intervened. "Oh my god! We are in the queue!"
Twisting your head, you could see the clock had hit 3 o'clock exactly. How did time go by that fast?
"Holy shit! Everybody disconnect from the house wifi on your phones! We can not have anything disturbing us!"
Pulling out your phone, you did what you ranted on and made sure Joon did the same. You even ran to Jules' door and banged on it until she confirmed she did so.
Running back to the computer, you could see there was still 983 people in front of you while Joon had 754. "Why is your computer going faster?"
"This laptop-," he sheepishly smiled. "-cost a fortune, but works like a charm."
Turning back to the screen, you saw the purple line move closer. Not even three minutes in and you only had 534 people left while Joon had 312.
You don't know what you did, but God was certainly rewarding you.
"You're honestly really weird," Pedro confessed, staring at your computer screen. "And sad."
"You would be if you were about to buy tickets to see the love of your life."
"I wouldn't pay anything, money can't buy love," Pedro insists, pulling a chair from your table and placing it in between Joon and you.
"That's very romantic," you swipe an imaginary tear from your cheek. "Save it for the cameras."
His jaw drops as you return back to your computer. In a few moments you were about to be inside the room and you were beyond scared. If you did not get these tickets you don't know how much longer you'll have to live.
"I'm in!" Joon shouts, causing you to jump to his screen.
Great, the two of you were going together anyway so it works out.
"Fuck, what's the presale code?!"
Placing your hands on your head as he begins to panic, you die inside. What the fuck were you going to do now? "Go on Twitter and check!"
To say Pedro was not intrigued would be a lie. It was very fascinating seeing how strongly engaged you were just for a damn ticket. To be honest, he thinks you would be great on a reality tv show- your expressions were just off the roof. He wonders if other people genuinely acted like you.
"It's probably something super simple, try 'thesound,'" you exclaim, watching as he typed right away but frowning when it denied it. "try 'somebodyelse.'"
After each attempt of every famous song they had, it was still wrong. What pissed you off even more was that fans were gatekeeping the code no matter how many times Joon and you tweeted for help.
Greedy little shits.
Eventually, your screen allowed you into the room as well. It was no use, you didn't have the code. "I think I'm going to have a panic attack," you clutch your chest as you felt your lips quiver from sadness. "We were so close."
Pedro just stared at you not believing how miserable you suddenly became. Is this how easily young people let concerts take over themselves? Do people really idolize artists that much to the point where they feel depressed if they don't get tickets?
He shivered imagining how BTS fans dealt with this pressure.
"Let me try," Pedro speaks up, pushing you to the side as he began typing away on your keyboard.
It never hurts to try, right?
Innocently clicking away, your face fell as the check mark appeared, unlocking the room for you. "He got in!"
Hurriedly jumping to the screen, Joon urged Pedro to do the same as you began searching through the seats. Instantly clicking on the floor, you hit the continue button for 2 seats.
Feeling your nerves kick in, your hands begin to shake as you typed in the needed information in order to complete your order. But once you pressed 'place your order," your world stopped.
Ignoring your surroundings, you only focused on the screen. Quietly praying, you're sure Joon and Pedro could hear your desperate requests to the ruler of the universe to grant you your biggest wish: these tickets.
You Got The Tickets To The 1975!
Feeling weightless, you screamed so loud you were sure your neighbors were going to call the cops. Joon looked over, doing the same cheers once he realized you two were set for the show.
Jumping out of your chair, you practically tackled Pedro to the ground as you wrapped your arms around his neck and planted him numerous kisses all over his cheeks.
For once, you were happy you managed to outlast his annoying-self.
"I will forever be grateful for your existence!" you cheer, squeezing his poor body in your arms as he tried to remain in balance, laughing at how nice you suddenly became.
Planting a big kiss on his forehead, you turn to Joon and jump together in happiness. You couldn't believe you managed to score tickets, especially floor seats.
"Wait, what was the code?" Joon asked, pulling away from you and turning to Pedro who tried containing his grin.
"The 1975."
You dropped you arms, feeling incredibly stupid. How could you not write their name as a code attempt? It was shorter than 'it's not living if it's not with you.'
"Joon, we are officially the two dumbest people in New York City," you confess as he slowly nods before stopping.
"Not dumber than Jules though."
You heard her door open before her loud yelling appeared, "Well fuck you too!"
Ignoring her, you jump to Pedro who had his gaze on you already. "Welp! Since we got that out of the way, why don't you make some of that chicken alfredo with your sauce."
He smiled before realizing what you were asking. "What sauce?"
You roll your eyes before hitting his side. "The secretive one you were bothering us about."
Pedro bounces up once he understands what he had mentioned earlier. "Oh, right. That one," he chuckles. "I was kidding, I just wanted to see what you guys were dong."
Your face falls as Joon lets out a sad sigh. "Man, I really wanted to taste how thick and creamy that sauce was."
Pedro just tilts his head to Joon before pointing at the door. "It was great hanging with you guys though! Hey, at least we all worked together for those tickets! I'm gonna head out now, have a good rest of your evening!"
With that, he awkwardly backs away and opens the door, quickly running out before you could argue why he would lie about such a thing.
Before you could process what had just happened, he quickly opens the door again and peeps his head inside. "By the way, you don't actually like a deformed bull terrier," he clarifies. "I was kidding, maybe a cavalier king charles spaniel, those are precious."
And again, he runs out. This time, your face was pretty noticeable when it came to how much redness was present. You cringed to yourself, the littlest of compliments always made you blush- it made you sick.
Joon and you exchanged confused looks to each other. Pedro was a very interesting man.
"What is a cavalier king charles spaniel?" you lightly question.
"The dog in the arms of an angel commercial," Joon simply replies.
Reaching his car, Pedro quickly unlocked the door before jumping in. He felt his heart beating fast, not sure why it was doing so.
Was it because he adored how committed you were for those damn tickets? Maybe. Or how your eyes sparkled once you realized you got the right code? Possibly.
How you kissed him and pulled him in close? Most definitely.
But he would never reveal such a thing to anyone. People would take it wrong and believe he had feelings for you. All he had were feelings one would have for another close friend like you.
His heart was beating because he was excited for you, that's all.
Walking around the studio Monday morning was exhausting. Not only did you pull an all-nighter Saturday night because you were too happy to fall asleep, but you only managed to gain a few hours of sleep on Sunday as you were too busy trying to finish homework due that same night.
"Are you alright? Do you need water?" you heard Bella worriedly ask as you pulled a hoodie over your head and walked near the snacks table.
"I need a pill that can wake me up."
"That could be arranged," she joked, stopping when you sent her a serious look. "Not by me, of course."
Bella managed to wake you up a little once she suddenly pulled out her phone and turned the flash on, flashing it all around your face. "Are you trying to make me blind?!"
"It's supposed to wake you up, is it working?" she grinned, still shoving her phone up your face.
Grabbing her wrist, she stops. "No."
"Damn, that sucks."
Somehow you managed to pull yourself together, walking to where the rest of the interns were once you heard all the directors call out for an urgent meeting.
Probably wanting one of you to run to the coffee shop for coffee as usual.
Seeing Pedro waving at you from the side of his cast's group, you smiled and returned it. He then proceeded to make a confused face, wondering why there was an emergency meeting being held.
You sent the same look, adding a shrug because you were feeling the same. You weren't aware about what was going on, but noticing how many people were present- it must be a big deal.
Finn walked in and stood near the director, sending you a smile that didn't look natural.
If anything it looked fake and...sad?
"A lot of you are probably wondering why I called everyone down here on this early morning," you hear one of the directors begin, making some people nod while others just patiently waited for him to continue. "Starting with wonderful news, we have just been given access to explore our visuals and proceed to try out different surroundings in regards to our planned perception for the series."
Hearing a few people clap, you do the same. You were glad that the set was upgrading, but what did they have to do with everyone?
"Unfortunately," you heard him begin, causing your breathe to hitch. "with locations being held in various places like Canada, we are going to have to make cuts."
Feeling your heart drop, you already knew who he was planning to remove. A big series like this can't send interns they don't care about out of the country for help and you sure as hell couldn't afford to pay for the travels yourself if it came down to it.
You didn't want to make eye-contact with Bella or Pedro and feel their condolences through their expressions. All you wanted to do was be cut already so you could go home and cry at home.
To cry over a job was pathetic, but considering how much you learned and loved to manage it for the past couple months, it was sad to let it go.
As the director went down the list of small departments he planned on letting go, he finally made it to yours. "As for the interns, we are especially grateful for the hard work you brought to this set and trying to fill not only our needs but the casts. If we have any open positions in the near future we will make sure to grant you priority, and if you ever need letters of recommendations for your future activities, I am sure Finn would be able to handle that behind closed doors..."
You zoned out after that, not really caring what else was being said. It was the typical its not us excuse, claiming the company couldn't provide for all of their workers yet were able to spend millions of dollars on each location and its visuals.
The meeting was over when you noticed the directors and producers giving a final sympathetic look to the crowd, bowing their heads before walking back to where their offices were located.
"I feel like crying," you heard Jules sniffle, patting her under eye with her sweater. "But I took time on my eye makeup so I can't!"
Rubbing her shoulder, you tried to distract her from her tears coming out as Joon stood next to you guys, telling her funny spongebob jokes that she did not understand.
"Uh oh, Mr. Boss is coming. He's gonna make me cry, I can't hear his sorrow," Jules' explained, turning her back the other way.
"Hey, kids," you heard Pedro lightly say.
"The tears are coming out!" Jules' exclaimed, running away to the nearest bathroom while Joon and you looked at each other, feeling extremely bad for her.
"Sorry about that," Pedro awkwardly started, continuing once you shook off his unnecessary apology. "I just wanted to talk, see how you guys are handling the unfortunate news."
Joon was the first to speak, sounding surprisingly calm for someone who just lost his internship. "It sucks, but at least it was for an understandable reason. Traveling costs money. Plus, we go to school here, we can't just leave."
You nodded, agreeing with what he said. It was true, you should have known this job would've ended sooner than later, there was only so much you could have done inside a film studio.
The series was an apocalypse that needed feature more outside and environmental sets that looked deadly than a building that was only useful for inside takes.
"How about you?" He questions, sincere eyes following yours as you shrug.
"I am sad but that's the industry," you force out a small chuckle. "If you aren't cut at least once, you aren't gaining the full experience."
Right after you said that, you felt tears lining around the inner corner of your eyes. Looking down, you tru to contain yourself. "I'm going to go check up on Jules."
Reaching out for you, Pedro tries to console you but you were out of his reach in seconds. He hated the tears in your eyes and his job being the reason behind it.
He felt as if it were his fault for your departure when he knows he shouldn't.
It also didn't make him feel any better that Joon followed straight after you once you walked away. He knew he had to do something but he wasn't sure.
All he knew was that he would rather see you smile than cry.
595 notes · View notes
istherewifiinhell · 2 months ago
Text
scheduled hopefully for appropriate insanity causing hours
304 cant believe everyone in gin.tama just lives like this. the. speech convictions dramatic childhood flashbacks promises lifestyle. not just for main characters i guess (is this guy the shogun.....)
yay yay yippppppe the guys. yay ayay yippeee flashbacks. DONT DIE.
kaaaaaaruga. always suspected. if i understood her more id be obsessed. Confirmed. 2 second in pulling that. i was waiting for ur weakness bullshit. BEAT UP UR OLDER BROTHER. (<- comma. gay? ) kagura born on this planet.... half a second of taka.gin grappling could sustain me for a life time (gin puts his hands on him to throw him) hey fellas i know this is the Sword Penis show but have u considered going at it meg.op. style. for me?
omg baby flashback leftest infighting. sugi ur not the most oppressed person in the world u know. well u would say that scholarship baby zura. diddddddd they shape each others ideologies like that. where they reading theory together as shitty little kids -> well prob not this show but lets indulge
oh right gin former. ghost eating thing. showing up to the school yard beef with a real sword.
HI SHOU.YOU. HI. his little pogchamps
loveeee how they do the blood in this show looks like velvet, alll dark shimmery. also the editing. wooooo.
bushido speech. this shit is cool actually. also leon.ardo the ninja turtle would love it (03)
zura giving him fooooood oh no. little. verbal redirects of kindness transparency
NOOOO SUGI beats gin for the first time clip NO NONO SUGI LAUGHING SLOW MO CLIP (already tearing up)
ahhhh the position of the school and the attitudes of the backgrounder kids actually very affecting and interesting isnt it.... shou.youuuuuuuu the man(thing) that u are....
ep. 305
theeeeee babies. the babies.... the babiest guys. so so charmedddd by them charmeddd again by how. unexpected? maybe. sugi and zura stick together.... the remainers..... kidtoki why are uuuu such a perfectly cromulent. thing. little. video game character ass look. perfect. shitty cool affect. wanna pinch his little cheeks 10/10 letting this kid be the leader of the playground gang.
shou.youuuuuu shou.youuuuuu. such a. believably. man with his complexities but hes being around children so (friendly voice) 'thats right. what do you think' sooooo. yeah immediately believes 100 thousand percent he means everything he says so truly yeah i probably would get. horrible weird trauma give the givens too
THROW THE SWORDS AWAY YAYYYYYY. flashback. ohhhhhhh sugi. i little. weird bitch (said in. desperate scrambling fondness. i love the things that are wrong with him)
gin boots are so hot...
SOMEONE INTIMATE TO CUT AND CURSE!!!!!!! ohhhhh babes (what could i possible say abt it that hasnt been said) well i hope they fuck themselves to death about it
fightscene styles gt vs tf <- place holder i left for myself. that will be extricated to a diff post.
gin scrambling in the blood and dirt under all the promises he has given his loved one. YES BABE. thats exactly what ur supposed to be going
ohhhhhh godddddddd the fucking beheading scene back to back from both of their perspectives oh jesus fuck oh hell. im going to. cut and curse at someone else. i guess. THANKS HIM. THANKS HIM FOR IT. (crying) cool. thats normal. i feel normal about the man (shou.you)(gin)
what the fuck. oboro real? thats fucked up. THATS WHO TAKES THE EYE? (knew this techincally) WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. (am seeing him) why is he a grown ass man i thought he was a kicked dog of a boy.
SUGI. SUGI YOU DUMB BITCH (loves him)(loves intractable positions)(loves the emotional incommunicability of reality)(loves an emotional confliction you can never resolve and just have to die about) he did it to save u fucking losers. cause his fucking teacher dad man asked him too. and thanked him for the service. ohhhhh u miserable fucks
why did you SAVE US. say it like that. damn.
oh youd do anything. youd kill shou.you. youd kill sugi himself. just to save the student your teacher loved. okay. okay. jesus. so you are the same. so your exactly the same person. your saying things that dont even make sense youve both lost any plane of reality cause you cant separate the things youve lost from the things you have. the very people youve saved are now reflected in those youve lost and youll both kill them to keep them alive. okay. no yeah thats fine cool lol.
(i guess sugis version would technically be said in reverse, you cant separate what youve have from what youve lost and the very person you lost are reflect in the one who saved you. and to keep him alive (crying gin.toki) youd kill him)
and MOST IMPORTANTLY. because you are the same person. you see yourself in him and him in yourself and u cant figure out where you end and he begins and your diametric opposed mirror reflection goals that lead you to taking. the exact same actions. okay. lol. OKAY. lol.
WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. GET OUT OF HERE FREAK. i was talking.
Tumblr media
id alt. im always saying this. or even just. Why is Oboro.
ep 306
heyyyyyy kagura! hiiiiii. youre not dead yay! hi. older brother. youre still here.
squints ohhhh these are. the cops? mayo man and. is this the other canonical gay sex haver or. (only has the normalest of second hand knowledge)
'if im just gonna end up as fertilizer anyway, i dont care if my path there is paved by roses or thorns.' damn dude. get out of the fucking. whatever ur in. and go become a metal music lyricist. what the fuck
oh shin.pachi. ur in this show.
googling. cant figure it out. whoever this green zombie bitch is sounds familiar. wish he had a name or smth.
damn there really is space in this show huh. thats crazy thats crazy. planet of the big hats vs planet of. umbrellas? anyone wanna watch space military anime.....
shogun 'i will protect the country were my friends live' what kagura said abt the planet. 'and to fulfill that goal, you'll even endure the deaths of your friends here?' gestures at the shou.you trolley problem. wow. that is tidy. good job recursive gin.tama
why do you grip that broken sword. you killed your teacher. you battled your friend. - my enemy is right here. WEVE NEVER CHANGED. weve all been fighting our own selves. ill stop him. even if it means having to kill him. but im also the one who understands how he feels better than anyone else
ohhhhhh gin. tama. ohhhhh gin. toki. i love u. i love u so much for just. saying insane thesis shit. like. yeah! YEAH OKAY! yeah thats. making out sloppy style with the narrative theming <- what do i mean by that.
be it killing him or protecting him. their both my job (gets so hard i pass out)
gin: says the most homoerotic twisted identity shit ive ever heard in my life that rests solely on. how unextractable gin. and sugi both are from each other due to. their love of shou.you. and thus. reflectionally. each other. oboro: his students are burning with hatred. <- IS HE STUPID?
and second question. upon reflection, looking at this grown ass man thing. do we have a classic ninja turtles adult beefing with teenagers situation. please tell me yes i will roast this man to shit.
(sugi also say gay twisted identity shit) [impact image font] we are. we are going to beat you to death.
[ending bumper comedy thing] u cannot deny their commitment to the bittism. need this shit for my annoying nitpick continuity fandoms. yeah no it was cause he pooped his pants. he shitted and farted.
36 notes · View notes
penny00dreadful · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
So... some of you may have noticed my fics have come to a screeching halt the last couple of months which is not like me and I am here to explain myself.
Babygirl, I have been preparing.
The end of this month is my 1 year anniversary of posting in this fandom, of posting any of my work online after not doing it for like fifteen fucking years and it has brought me so much incandescent joy, I decided I had to do something for it.
(I've also hit like... several milestones which is fucking insane like you all know I'm just some cranky bog witch, right??)
I have been working on my WIPs for over the last two months. All... holy mother of god... like nine of them???
Some of these have been completed, some I am still writing and some are mostly done.
So starting from my anniversary date, 23rd October, every second or third day, I'll be posting a chapter of something.
I have so much material built up this shit could go on until 2024
@hbyrde36 called it my own personal Penny00Dreadful BigBang... and yeah kinda! 😅
I wanted to do this to show just how much I love this community. Your kind words, your support, your unhinged ramblings, your obsessive love, your talent (for free??) it's all amazing it's so amazing and I wanted to explode forth with my love for it so I figured why the fuck not do this stupid idea??😅
All of these will be posted both to tumblr and AO3 so subscribe over there to keep updated or follow me here!
OH! And let me know if you wanna be tagged! If you wanna be tagged for a specific fic or for everything I'll add you, whatever you want.
You've made me so happy and so warm for the last year. The way I know if I'm having a bad day I just need to hop onto this side of tumblr and everything will be peaches and gravy again.
I love you guys so much. 😘🖤
Updated Schedule - (18th Feb 2024)
Fic list with blurbs below the cut, this will (roughly) be the order they're posted in:
Return of The King - COMPLETE
Steddie Vampire AU with a twist! Vampire Steve comes back after falling to the bats. There is two more chapters left and those chapters have been completed.
Comeuppance - COMPLETE
Dustin just wants Steve to be happy. So he tries to parent trap him with Nancy. Clearly they should be together. But Steve's heart doesn't even seem to be in it at all! How is he so bad at this? And Eddie is being less than helpful
Rookie Mistake - COMPLETE
My Steddie Established Relationship Spies AU oneshot that will have a multi-chapter prequel fic coming very soon after!
Eddie is "retired" and Steve has been injured on the job, so he's supposed to be taking it easy. How hard could a walk to the gas station be?
Before He Cheats - COMPLETE
Songfic! Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
I literally have no excuse for this one. The rotted brainworms were behind the steering wheel with this one.
One evening, Eddie gets a call from some guy named Steve dropping the news on him that his boyfriend has been cheating on him. With this Steve person and Steve had no idea up until that day.
And Eddie rarely takes that shit lying down.
Steddievember Smut - COMPLETE
No Nut November is here! One can play however he wants. The other just has to wait for December to roll around. I have no other words to describe what this will be, it does what it says on the tin. I blame the STWG discord server. Currently we're looking at four little ficlets for this.
Cat and Mouse - COMPLETE
The Steddie Spies AU Prequel! How they got together and the extreme ups and downs their enemies/rivals to lovers journey goes through. I had so much fun with this one.
And They Were Roommates! - COMPLETE
omg they were roommates.
Steve and Eddie don't hate each other exactly. They just... tolerate each other. But one night Eddie doesn't come home for hours. Long after he's supposed to and it's not like Steve is worried or anything... he's just... concerned for a fellow human being... that's all.
Through The Valley - IN PROGRESS
Post-Apocalyptic AU. Eddie, Dustin and Nancy have a nice little community of survivors outside of Hawkins that they take care of, surviving day to day. Everyone's a little broken, missing the rest of their Party just hoping that one day they'll find each other again.
Devotion
Dungeons and Dragons AU. Steve is the golden boy of the small town of Hawkins. Harrington in name and now a Paladin with his very own oath to hunt down the Bard, the witch Eddie Munson and bring him back to justice under High Priest Henry Creel.
129 notes · View notes
whatdoidosatoru · 8 months ago
Text
Sleeping In
PART 3 of The Only Exception
- part 1 - part 2 - part 4 - ao3
pairing: Keisuke Baji x OC (reader)
wc: 4.6k
tags: smut, fluff, no use of y/n, some back story (talk of cheating etc..), oral sex (m and f receiving), this chapter is actually pretty mild, sorry :)
summary: after another night of shenanigans with Keisuke, he cleared his schedule to spend a day with me
music:
Absolutely (Story About a Girl) - Nine Days
The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls
Coffee at Midnight - Stand Atlantic
Always - Panic! At The Disco
Church - Fall Out Boy
Sarah Smiles - Panic! At The Disco
Memories Of A Broken Heart - Crown The Empire
Sleeping In - All Time Low
Always - blink-182
MDNI! 18+ ONLY!
I rolled over after what seemed to be a very short nap to find Keisuke with a very focused face holding a book from beside my bed.
“Everything okay?” I seemed to have snapped him out of his focus.
“Oh, yeah, this is just a bit weird."
I chuckled, “Yeah, it’s quite different. One of the main themes is reinvention of oneself and writing one’s own story. Meaning, in storytelling, you can reshape your life and constantly move from one self to the other and so on. If you want, you can borrow it, I’ve read it twice already.” He put the book away and slid back down to meet me for a kiss. 
“Maybe later, I like the person I am with you now.” He pushed my hair out of my face.
“Uhh so,” I started, clearing my throat, “What was that ‘all mine’ business?”
His face turned serious, “Did you not like it? I’m sorry if it was too much…”
“No, no, it’s not that,” I quickly stopped him, “I was just wondering what that meant to you.”
“I thought it seemed kind of obvious?”
“Let’s pretend it’s not and I’d like you to clarify.”
With a sharp inhale I stared at his face. I couldn’t say I hadn’t thought about it. There’s a certain satisfaction in fantasising about a relationship with a person you’ve only seen in a public space once and couldn’t forget their face. But this was different, he was really here, physically and emotionally, asking me to trust him and let him in.
He sat up and I followed, both completely naked and vulnerable.
"I want to be with you. I want you to be mine and nobody else’s. I really like you, to the point that I don’t know how I survived those 28 hours between leaving and seeing you again, having the confirmation that I was just overthinking things. I want to be the only person to do these things with you. I want to take you out on dates and then come back home with you and hold you until we fall asleep,” he shook his head, breaking eye contact, “and now that I said all this I really hope you feel somewhat the same because if you don’t I might just lose my mind.”
 All I could hear was a faraway voice in my head, repeating a mantra that had kept me from living my life the way I was supposed to.
You’re so obsessed with me and naive, no wonder I could sneak around and bed a different girl every night and still come back to you to take me in. Are you so stupid that you can’t see that we have been over for months now? I just kept you around so your cunt can be useful to me.
Keisuke sighed, reaching to touch my face. “Then I guess I’ll have to try harder to get to know you,” he said with a smile, “I’m not giving up on you, Yuna. I know we’re going to be good together, I can just feel it in my bones. Whatever I can do to help you see it, I’ll do it.”
“Keisuke…” his eyes locked onto mine.
“...I’m not sure you thought this through enough. You don’t really know me, you don’t know what a mess my head is in. I want to say yes and it felt right saying I was yours, but I’m afraid we’d rush into it and ruin everything.”
“Can we just watch something first?” I asked.
“Can you be naked while we watch?” His mouth showed a devilish grin.
“Pervert.” I playfully smacked his shoulder, then leaned over to kiss his soft lips, digging my hand into his hair, now in a very loose ponytail. He bit my lower lip, took out the hair bobble, and shook his hair out. I got up to position my laptop on the desk so we could see the screen and put on one of my favourite series.
When I got back to bed, Keisuke wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head,
“I’m still going to call you mine until you tell me to fuck off.” I didn’t think that could ever be an option.
Mai Darling, 21:33
i’m going to sleep, getting up early to finish my research paper so you can get spicy wherever
just please don’t do it in the kitchen
i don’t want your sex particles in my food
Yunaaaaasty, 21:34
good night my darling i hope we dont wake you later <3
Mai Darling, 21:34
you’d better not or i’ll rip your boyfriend’s dick off :D
Yunaaaaasty, 21:34
:’(
Mai Darling, 21:35
thought so, good night and stay safe lovebirds <3
Huh. Boyfriend.
Something about the notion felt safe and comforting. But that was just a recipe to get hurt again. Especially after last time…
~
“I’ll be out late, don’t wait up,” the voice on the other end of the line said. My heart sank, this had been happening for months now, we never saw each other, apart from him sneaking through my window in the dead of night, waking me up for a quick fuck and then passing out, disappearing before I woke up. Whenever I wanted to bring up the fact that we didn’t spend time together anymore, that I was losing interest in him because we didn’t even talk, he’d wave it off. “I told you I was busy, what more do you want from me?” 
Mai had told me to break it off with him, he wasn’t worth crying over, he didn’t care about me, and I’d find someone who would actually make an effort with me. “Don’t be dumb, Yuna, he’s a little weasel. He’s always seemed a little bit off to me, and you can’t even deny it! You only started liking him because it felt good being with a bad boy at the time. Who knows what he’s actually doing,” Mai would warn me to break things off with him on a daily basis, but I didn’t want to give up on him. I believed I could get him back to how he was before he started to pull away from me. Nobody prepared me for what I’d actually see when I decided to follow him out that night. 
~
“Good morning, sweetheart,” I rolled over and saw Keisuke, already awake, smiling at me from the other side of the bed.
“Mmmmornn.” I definitely couldn’t be accused of being a morning person.
Keisuke chuckled, “I don’t think I know that language, but I’m going to assume you need a couple more minutes of quiet to wake up.” He pulled me closer into his chest so I took a deep breath and inhaled his scent. 
I opened one eye as if to sneakily look at him. I couldn’t get enough of him. I could smell him, but I needed to see him, touch him, taste him. Quickly forming a thought in my mind, I managed to wake myself up for my hand to start venturing lower along his body. He quickly caught on and gave me a naughty smile,
“I take it you’re awake now, hmm?” I replied with a kiss, my hand reaching its destination and making him moan into my mouth. 
My hand wrapped around his cock and started slowly pumping it. As I did that, his hips started rolling into me. His moans turned into groans and soft grunts so I decided to switch my approach. Lowering myself to his crotch, his eyes turned hungrier, his noises needier. I took his length into my mouth, eliciting a long moan from his perfectly soft lips. His hips started thrusting upwards, but only slightly, like he couldn’t help himself.
I moaned at the taste of him, sending him into another long moan from the vibrations on his sensitive tip. I bobbed my head up and down, licking along the shaft and wetting it with my spit. His hands were gripping the sheets and his eyes were squeezed shut, taking in all of the sensations. While one of my hands was on the length of his shaft I couldn’t fit into my mouth, I brought the other to my clit, slowly rubbing circles around it and using the sensation to moan around Keisuke’s cock.
He moved one of his hands behind his head and the other to grab my hair into a makeshift ponytail. I looked up and locked eyes with him.
“You look so pretty with-ah fuck-your lips around my cock I could watch you-ah-suck me forever.” He noticed where my other hand was. “Ah, I see. You enjoying yourself?” He smirked with amusement, gripping my hair tighter and pushing me to take more of him in while I sucked in my cheeks to squeeze him tighter. Now he set the pace and very soon he started moaning louder. I rubbed myself quicker now, incredibly turned on by his using my mouth how he wanted.
“Can I come into your mouth?” I could barely hear him through his panting and I had no way of replying as he was still fucking my face so I removed the hand from my clit and gave him a thumbs-up. He laughed, but quickly returned to moaning and cursing under his breath.
“Fuck your mouth is incredible I could do this all day. Good girl you’re taking me so well. Are you ready? Fuck I can’t hold on any longer-” With another tug of my hair and a loud moan he spilt down my throat and my fingers slowed down, not quite willing to stop. I flipped over onto my back and looked up at him, showing him my empty mouth. He smiled and leaned in for a kiss then dragged me back up and kissed down my front to get to where my fingers were teasing my pussy. 
Flashing his canines he went straight in to devour my needy clit and puffy lips. I let out a cry as he pushed two fingers inside of me, immediately hooking them upwards to make me arch my back in pleasure. He removed his tongue only to instruct me to grip his hair, to which I obliged right away, desperate for more friction.
As he licked lazy circles around my sensitive clit I pulled him in closer, kind of afraid he might suffocate, but he just attacked with more fervour, making me moan even louder than before,
“Yes-ah-Keisuke please I’m almost there,” I needed him so terribly and he chuckled, sending vibrations to my core, almost finishing me. 
“Cum on my tongue, pretty girl, I want to taste how good I made you feel.”
That sentence alone sent a wave of pleasure over me, I arched my back and cried out his name while he was slowing down to ease me down to earth. Once again, he wiped his face and licked my slick off, savouring every drop of me before helping me up and embracing me into a tight hug. I was enveloped in his scent, sweetness with a hint of citrus, and it felt like all my stress and overthinking just melted away.
He pulled away after a kiss on my forehead, grinned, and went to put his clothes on.
“I’m guessing you don’t have classes today?” I went to look for something to wear in my wardrobe.
“No, I have Mondays off from university and work, you?” Now that he was, sadly, dressed, he peered out of the bedroom to check if Mai was still home.
“I already messaged work I’m not coming in today.”
With that I stopped in my tracks. Was this because of me? Am I preventing him from going? Wait, does he want to stay in with me?
“Oh how come?” Somehow I managed to sound cool, calm, and collected…I hoped.
“If I hadn’t, I’d have to leave you in bed around seven to get home and get my things to make it. I’d decided I’d much rather spend time with you, if that’s okay with you, of course.” My heart skipped. I felt the biggest grin forming on my face and his face lighting up when he saw it.
“Of course, um, it’s my turn to cook today so I’ll need to pop into the shop to get a couple of things and Mai will be home around 2 and out by 3. Do you want to give me a hand cooking? You don’t have to, of course, but if you want to that would be cool. Also I have to let her know you’ll be with us, do you have any allergies or something you don’t like to eat?” I felt myself rambling and holy fuck I needed to shut up, but he was still grinning at me as if he’d love nothing more than listen to me ramble. 
“You’re so cute. I eat everything and I’ll definitely help and give it my best to not burn down the building.” He made his way to the bathroom and I followed, my hair was in dire need of brushing.
~
Yunaaaaasty, 10:12
my darling keeper of my very own sanity, for lunch we’re making you your favourite <3
Mai Darling, 10:13
My lady, whomstever doth thou meansth whensth thou saysth we?
Yunaaaaasty, 10:14
you’re giving me an aneurysm 
keisuke is staying here for a bit :| hope thats okay with you pls dont be mad mai
Mai Darling, 10:14
as long as my peppers are done and you haven’t fucked in the kitchen i’m fine 
he really likes spending time in our flat huh
don’t take it the wrong way i really don’t mind, i’m just…noticing things
Yunaaaaasty, 10:16
noticing things, my queen?
Mai Darling, 10:16
don’t you worry your pretty little head with that ;) you have enough worries in there for all of us
i’m just saying he’s trying to spend time with you i think that’s cute
continue with my lunch now, servants!
Yunaaaaasty, 10:17
certainly, your highness *bows, scrapes ground with head, disintegrates into ground*
~
On our way to the shop, I noticed Keisuke battling with himself whether or not reach for my hand so I made it easier for him by entangling our fingers and smiling at him. He stopped in the middle of his sentence, as if shocked by my action, and continued with a slight stammer.
On the way back he decided to take my hand himself, but he was reduced to giggles when I used his hand to drag him closer to me and kiss his cheek. It felt good being out with him, being seen and not hidden like some kind of a shameful secret. Maybe it wouldn’t be catastrophic, being with Keisuke. 
“Have I told you how pretty you are?” I interrupted his thoughts, he snapped his head towards me and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times as if unsure how to start.
“I…I mean you said something like that when we met, but uhhh where’s this coming from?”
“I was just thinking out loud. I like being seen with you. Like this,” I lifted our hands, fingers threaded together, “and not feeling like you’re ashamed of me or whatever.”
“What? Has this happened to you before? Because if someone was ashamed to be seen with you, then they’re a moron of epic proportions.” He brought my hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, “If we were together, I’d shout it from the rooftops. I’d become so insufferable that everybody would roll their eyes whenever I mention you.” He was so ecstatic about it that I just had to giggle at him.
Back in the kitchen, I put on my apron adorned with Mai’s and my faces - it had been a birthday present from her not long after we moved in together. Keisuke rolled up his sleeves and started chopping red and orange peppers while I seasoned chicken and popped it into the oven. He had already diced the onion because I mentioned nothing stopped from me crying when I did it. When we threw it all into the pan, I got the seasoning out and Keisuke just stared at me from the other end of the kitchen.
“What is it?” I said with a smile.
“Being here and doing mundane things with you feels so natural.”
I couldn’t help but imagine a reality where this was the norm. Walking together, holding hands, cooking lunch, just existing in the same room and talking. I grabbed my wooden spoon and mixed the peppers and onion, adding herbs and garlic. I took out a tablespoon to taste it and grabbed a spoonful for Keisuke to try. He nodded approvingly,
“This is that dish you said you make often? Fucking incredible.” I grinned, put the cooked rice into the pot and mixed it all together.
By the time the chicken was finished in the oven, Mai barged in, groaning and throwing her bag on the chair before face-planting the couch.
“I hate her so muuuuuuch! She knows I don’t read and she still won’t cut me some slack when it comes to assigned reading. I don’t know how many times I have to spell it out for her that I’m fucking D - Y - L - S - E - X - Y - C!”
I had to smack Keisuke’s chest to stop him from snickering.
“My darling,” I went to check on her, “you do know that’s not how you spell dyslexic, right?”
She lifted her head off the pillow and blew a strand of hair out of her face, “Well that’s how I spell it.”
I patted her head and motioned her to come to the kitchen where I plated up our food and brought it to the table with Keisuke’s help. 
“And is your brother older or younger than you?” I wondered.
After we finished lunch, Mai grumbled away into her bedroom and got ready for work while Keisuke and I washed up and put away leftover rice. We still had a good few hours before he had to go home to make dinner for him and his brother so I suggested we go for a walk.
This time holding hands felt natural, and every time we passed someone I knew I didn’t feel like I had to let go and hide. He told me about his coursework, how he had always known he wanted to be a vet, about his favourite things, and his childhood friends. 
“Well, he’s not actually my brother, but he may as well be. We’ve been friends since we were in school. Funny story, actually,” He chuckled to himself, “He wanted to bully me but I ended up saving him from getting beaten up. You’re gonna have to meet him one day soon.”
I stopped in my tracks. He wanted to introduce me to his best friend/brother?
“No, not at all. I’m actually looking forward to meeting him.”
He looked at me, worry in his face, “Something wrong?”
I shook my head, trying not to show I was tearing up,
“You’re so weird, did you know?” He pulled me closer for a kiss. In public? In front of people!
Our kiss got broken up by a bicycle bell so we fled out of the way and just kept walking around. When we passed my university building I pointed it out.
“Looks like a prison, sorry,” Keisuke noted.
“Sometimes it feels like one, too. I need to get something from the library though, wanna come with?” He joined me inside, perusing the shelves of different sections in the library, while I went to the linguistics section to get a massive tome I needed for my next paper. On the way back home he offered to carry it for me when he saw the sheer size of the book. 
“Not gonna lie, Kei, you look really hot with a book in your hand.” His raised eyebrow made me giggle.
“Kei? I like that. I’ll start carrying a book with me at all times.” His hair was shining in the sun and I was overwhelmed by the need to run my fingers through it. Get it together, Yuna. 
I ended up recounting how I had met Mai, how she essentially ‘adopted’ me when she realised I was revising for the same midterm she had to take and she could listen to me revise instead of suffering through her own notes. Then we very quickly became best friends and I asked her if she wanted to move in with me since I had a free room in my flat.
“You own the place then?” Keisuke asked. This story always made me sad.
“Yeah, it was my grandma’s, but she died just before I started university and she left it to me, fully paid off, and she left me a savings account for my tuition. Technically I’m only working to cover my spending money and pay for food.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and caressed my cheek.
“Sorry to hear about your grandma.” I smiled at him, now approaching the front door. 
As I was struggling to find the apartment key in the sea of keychains, Keisuke started nibbling on my neck, “Hmm this feels kind of familiar, don’t you think?”
I hurried with the keys and pulled him behind me, heading straight into my room and starting to take off my clothes. His mouth was pulled into a devilish grin, canines poking out, making him look like a vampire, and he took his shirt off before pulling his hair back and attacking my neck again.
~
While we were lying entangled I couldn’t help but overthink the situation. I could feel myself digging the hole of obsession deeper by the minute, which is something I had told myself wouldn’t happen again. But, that said, this didn’t feel like last time.
Keisuke opened his eyes and nearly startled me when he spoke. “You look sad.”
Last time I jumped into a relationship without weighing out my options, just because I liked the look of him and he charmed me into thinking he’d stay like he had been that first week. Then I ended up spending six months constantly wondering where he was, and, on the rare occasions he actually spent time with me, being hidden from the eyes of anyone else.
We’d never held hands or hugged in public. He’d never introduced me to his friends or family. Then he’d said he was just keeping me around for sex and my whole self-worth collapsed. 
Not a question. I didn’t want to bother him with my problems, but it was like he had a sixth sense for it.
“Did you forget what I said to you last night? I want to be with you, and that means taking on a portion of your sadness as well as making you cum daily. Let me help you.”
His usual goofiness is gone, replaced by a serious tone, seeing directly into my soul with his intense eyes. He moved one hand to my hip and started caressing me. 
“I was just overthinking things. I know, I know, when do I not?” With a sigh, I continued.
“I wasn’t allowed to express myself in the last relationship. I’m still trying to learn how to communicate with a partner because I didn’t get that before. That’s why I’m so conflicted because I was drawn to you from the start, but the past experience says it only leads to a catastrophe.” I felt the need to shut my mouth immediately. I’d said too much and laid out my emotions too soon.
My mind was racing, but I’d decided. “I think it’s too soon to say, but there’s another Emo Nite event in 11 days and that might be a good day to decide.” 
Keisuke touched my face, looking deep into my eyes.
“Funny you said that, I also felt drawn to you when I first saw you. I was rude to you to try and stop myself from acting on that feeling, but it clearly didn’t work.” He gestured at us lying in each other’s arms. “But I’m glad this happened because now I can show you how a real man treats his partner. What the actual fuck was this guy’s problem? You’re so smart, kind, funny, and interesting, I can’t wait to hear every next word from your mouth. I really hope you give me a chance to show you how serious I am about all of it.”
“Sounds like a date. Gives me time to talk to my friends and get them to come with me again. Apparently they had a decent time after I left.” 
“Does that mean I could meet them then?”
He leaned in to kiss me and chuckled, “Sweetheart, you’re meeting them way sooner than that.”
~
With a million kisses to go and no firm plan on when we’ll see each other next, I saw him to the door and said goodbye. It hadn’t been five minutes before I got a message from him.
Keisuke, 18:32
I can smell you on my clothes. It’s making me smile in public. c:
Yuna🖤💙, 18:33
thats funny because we spent most of the time with no clothes on
but i can smell you on my pillow and im just gonna sit here and snuggle it for a while
Keisuke, 18:33
That’s probably the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.
Please keep it up.
I’ll give you my hoodie or something next time.
Yuna🖤💙, 18:34
PROMISE?!
Keisuke, 18:34
Woah eager beaver C;
Yeah of course. Seeing you in my clothes might send me to a hospital, but I bet it would be worth it. c;
Yuna🖤💙, 18:35
if you get a heart attack whos gonna eat me out until i cry from overstimulation??????
Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 18:36
Hey I’m hospitalised, not dead!
Yuna🖤💙,18:36
youre ridiculous. let me know when you get home safe <3
Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 18:37
How cute, she’s worried about me c;
~
Yuna-chan, 19:03
i spent the past 22 hours with him 
hes sooooo not like any asshole from before
like
he held my hand when we walked
he kissed me in front of the library?!?!?!!?
he asks me stuff about me
chat is this real??? 
Hana-chan, 19:05
Dibs on picking bridesmaid dresses :)
Seriously though Yuna Im so happy for you
He sounds really nice
I expect an in-depth report on Sunday :D
And I want to see both of you at the event next Friday ;)
Yuna-chan, 19:10
thank you hana i couldnt have done this without you
seriously
[1 image attachment]
HE TOOK A POLAROID OF ME FROM THE FRIDGE!
Hana-chan, 19:12
Thank fuck it wasn’t a pair of panties hahah
That’s kinda cute ngl
You have one of him he has one of you.
Yuna-chan, 19:15
i’m smiling uncontrollably ??????? can’t stop send help
btw you got homework done for tomorrow?
~
After a few more hours of general upkeep of the apartment, texting with Hana and Keisuke, and sniffing the pillow whenever I walked into my bedroom, Mai arrived home from work and headed straight into the kitchen for leftovers. We sat at the kitchen table, catching up, when she pulled out a bag of popcorn from her bag, along with a couple of pots full of nacho cheese dip.
With a grin, we switched to the living room and put on our favourite show to rewatch, snacking on the loot from the cinema. 
46 notes · View notes
kanmom51 · 2 years ago
Text
JK's live 4 March 1:47 am KST
Part 2
Cr./ to all the creators of the media used in this post.
So, where were we?
Oh yes, Tae left the live.
Just after this is when JK takes a pause and decides to open up about the gym incident.
“I am human too”
I have already kind of addressed this in my previous post.
But you see, watching the full live I realized that what we were given, in the clips and the translations, was not everything that JK said.  Watching the live, it feels even more. More honest and more raw.  Man was wearing his heart on his sleeve.
I did try to download this, add the subtitles, cause damn, it doesn’t download with the subtitles embedded.  But turns out I’m kind of shit with the IT and tech stuff and it just didn’t work.  And I really really wanted you to see the full thing.  So, I’m trying to link this timed to the right spot, but if it doesn’t work, start watching at: 1:30:00 or around that timestamp.  Be patient. Don’t fast forward from that timestamp and don’t stop until it’s over. 
Kanmom’s orders.
Watch these YT links on Youtube. That button on the bottom left.
youtube
He talks about this for around 6 minutes.  6 whole minutes.
Seeing the full 6 minutes, a couple more things stood out to me.  On top of what I wrote in my above linked post.
One of them was this:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And we knew he asked not to come seek him out when it’s not an official schedule, private times in other words.
He talks about other army, you know, the respectful ones, those that don’t stalk him at the gym (and more to come, that’s the point I’m going to reach. I promise I’m on my way there).
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
He keeps going back to how thankful he is.  And we know he is.  JK loves Army.
And here comes my punch line:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This part here, to which he once again adds also when he is working out.  It was left out of the translations or the clips that were shared.
And why oh why is the first thing I think of the White day photo?  You know, that photo of them spending time together in a restaurant on White day.  A restaurant that they frequented but stopped visiting since that day. Do you think maybe that had something to do with it?  You know, the breach of their privacy?
And the home reference too.  We know what he’s talking about. 
I don’t know why, but him referencing those two hits harder.  I think understandably so.  Even his home, the physical place where he’s supposed to feel safest is not safe.  And I’m not going to say the word anymore, because this isn’t something new.  What’s new here is that he has finally spoken up against it.  And it took being drunk to do so.
The second point has to do with those 3 characteristics a person should have according to JK. Remember them?
Respect, understanding and consideration.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
If only these ‘fans’, so called fans, obsessed human beings, would take the time and listen to the person they supposedly love but don’t really (what they are is obsessed with a character they created in their head, one that mostly has nothing to do with who JK actually is).
JK ends this with a bow.  He bows to us. 
Like goddamn heartbreaking. 
“Army, why do you cheer for us?”
Writing these words down I’m tearing up.
This here.  This is where I literally broke down.
His talk about privacy was painful to hear, but these words, that he repeated twice towards the end of his live, out of nowhere, a pensive look on his face, stopping to inhale and ask again.  These words. They broke me.
youtube
(Start at 2:00:07 timestamp.  We always talk about context.  Not looking at something torn from it’s surroundings.  What came before and after, that means a lot.  So start watching from that point).
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It’s not only the words, that as of themselves show such vulnerability.  It’s the look on his face, the pauses, the facial expressions while thinking about it, before saying, while saying it. 
After a few seconds he gathers himself up, he realizes this was a little too heavy, and he tries to move on.
My heart broke into 1000 pieces at that point.  And you can say that I’m being melodramatic, and maybe I am, but at that moment, and even now writing this, a tear running down my cheek, I feel him.  And what he meant can be interpreted 1001 ways, but one thing I do think is irrefutable – it came out of pain. Maybe 2 things.  He wouldn’t have said it if he wasn’t drunk, which he really was by this point.  And we all know wine loosens the tongue.
Can’t tell you that JK singing Lonely did my emotional state any good either.
Tumblr media
JK falling asleep. 
Bless his heart.  He was drunk (toward the end it was REALLY showing), and tired and said he’s going to rest a little bit.  But you know, just like JM told us, one minute he’s there with you and the next he’s out.
So, our Jungkookie, yes ours, fell asleep and started snoring, and around 15 minutes into that I guess the staff, who most likely tried to call him to wake him up and shut off the live, gave up on it and shut it down remotely, lol.
If you want to see those 15 minutes, or listen to them:
All and all this wasn’t an easy watch. There were fun parts.  There were cute and funny parts.  But there was also a heavy atmosphere surrounding it.
Please don’t take this where it’s not supposed to be going.  I have never and will never claim to know JK’s mental state.  Nor have I ever used the word that starts with D, and I won’t now either.  I am not a therapist or a psychiatrist and have zero diagnostic skills.
Saying that, I am a mature person with life experiences, that include going through my own hardships in life, and including living with, loving, taking care of a neuro divergent daughter diagnosed with the pesty D word.
There are clear signs that JK is going through something. 
Look, if indeed we are correct and JK is neuro divergent, this alone - no work no set schedule or structure time, it’s not really doing him good.  Not having this structure, the timetable to work with, the set schedule with those around him to nudge him on, it throws him off kilter. 
Then you have his introvert nature, keeping him at home much of the time. 
Add to that his catalyst, his anchor is working to his bones, literally (have you seen him in his live last night?) at the moment, and the three people that grounded him over the years:  Jin, Hobi and JM, are now kind of not around, not available, either at all or not enough. 
And as if that wasn’t enough, then we have Bam not being well.  He told us himself that Bam not being there to greet him was hard on him. Not to mention the worry for his health too.
One positive sign I did notice was the weight gain.  I said it before.  He was too skinny.  And I don’t think that JM’s comment during JK’s mukbang live was just being cute.  He was genuinely happy JK was eating.
Look, like JK said, and this is something I’ve been stressing since day 1.  These guys, they’re human.  I mean they have been trying to tell us this too, but some fans still struggle with the concept.  And realizing that they might not be in the best mind space is something they are not willing to come to terms with (the fans that is). 
JK drinking alone (yes, that means something too), getting drunk alone (and don’t give me that “but he’s with army bull”) that means something too.  Him also needing that liquid courage to come out and say what he did to Army, that means something.  And JK sharing what he did about his privacy.  JK asking us why we cheer them.  That is a person that is going through something.  I can’t seem to find a better word than struggling. 
It’s like when you come to the end of a road in life and still don’t have a clear path moving forward, f.i. finish high school, without a clear career or purpose paved ahead.  It can be overwhelming and takes getting used to.  And during that time of adjustment, you are a little lost. 
This unclear future has been a reality they have all been living in since 2020.  But they were living it together.  And JK had JM strapped to his hip the whole time.  Now it’s them each doing it on their own.  Even RM is struggling, he shared some of it with us.  JK, he’s the youngest, the one that has needed these young men around him, and they are/will be disappearing on him one by one. 
Oh, and how could I forget, them disappearing…the why.  All I’m going to say is this:  Military service.  One more stress factor for many reasons (worries for himself, worries for his loved ones, worries for the separation, worries for what happens during and after).
On top of that, for some time now JM has been super busy and that hip band, the one that connected them, it’s ripped.  It’s not easy to get used to that kind of new reality.  Think about it for a second.  Who is that person that was always there the second JK was in pain, physical and emotional? He’s not absent per say, but he’s also not 100% available either.  That’s life, we all live it, well most of us, our significant others aren’t with us 24/7, we don’t work together (some of us do), we don’t spend all our spare time with each other.  Doesn’t make us any less strong as a couple, maybe just maybe it makes us stronger. 
But for JK this wasn’t his reality for 10 years. Since the moment JM joined, they were more or less inseparable.  And those that still live in that K-drama narrative where JK used to hate JM need to wake up and watch the content.  Cause boys were close.  Sleeping together on the floor outside the bed room so they can get up earlier and go practice together close.  JK talking to JM about wanting to give up singing and JM talking him out of it close.  JK hugging JM in his sleep close.  And this the early years, before we even dreamt they were anything but friends.  Close friends.  JM even then being JK’s emotional anchor. 
I keep going back to AHL and the kidnapping.  Hate the show, despise the episode, but one thing you learn from that episode, and that is that JM is JK’s person.  How one second it’s Suga sitting next to JK, and the next it’s JM.  Cut, edit, we don’t know what went down but all of a sudden it’s JM sitting next to petrified JK.  And as they are taking off their socks you even see JM patting JK carefully (on his leg), just a soft touch to calm him down. 
So yeah, this person means the world to JK.  Since forever.  And JK has been somewhat spoilt.  Because of their work and their lives and he got to have JM with him almost 24/7.  But not anymore, and more so lately, now that JM has all these projects on top of a first solo album coming out.
To end my over lengthy and maybe boring to some Ted talk, all I’m getting at is that we can see JK is a little off.  Anyone with eyes but without their army fantasy biased filters can see it.  Sit a non army, non fan, someone who doesn’t even know who JK is, to watch this live and they will tell you something’s off.  And it’s ok to say it out loud people.  Doesn’t mean you love him less. I’d even say it kind of means you love him more.  Because you SEE him.  Like he wants us to see him.  As human.  With feelings.  And wants.  And needs.  And faults.  And struggles.
And bottom line, JK, I hope and have to believe that he’ll be ok.  At the end of the day, he is surrounded by those that love and support him.  He has a bf who is crazy about him and that we’ve seen in the past is there for him, fully.  He has family that love and support him.  It’s just a hard adjust.  And it takes getting used to. 
After finishing up my post I came by this clip, which I would like to share with you all. Some what of a fitting ending to my post:
Tumblr media
162 notes · View notes
khaleesiofalicante · 3 months ago
Note
I'M SO READY.
Tumblr media
Not me googling 'gyatt'. 🙈🙈🙈
I feel Jackson so much. So often.
Jackson raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Do you swear it’s not a weird one?”
GAAAAAAAAAAAAH DAVID 🤣🤣
“Right.” David cleared his throat, bracing himself. “How do you tell your professor that one of your other professors wants to fuck him?”
ALEC YOU DISASTER. He did not do that. Omg. I'm wheezing.
He’s pretty sure people have done weirder shit to get into Magnus’ pants, so getting one of your students to play Cupid is fine.
He's a dad without Magnus in his life. 😍♥️
“Jeez, Dad, you need to grow a pair,” 
How can two such bright people be so stupid, I'll never understand. Alec, my baby.
So, he decided to use a middleman. David was the perfect person for it.
Which should give you a hint that he *cough cough* has a soft spot for you, Alec.
Alec knows for a fact that Magnus likes David - he has a soft spot for French people and kids with asshole dads.
Yes. Blame the 'child'. 🤣
Because if all goes well, David can officiate their wedding. If it doesn’t, Alec is going to ship that French fucker right back to Paris.
Who are you trying to fool, love?
“Do you have his schedule memorized?” David asked, the judgy little shit.
“No, it’s on the board, just like everyone’s schedule, and I just happen to remember it,” Alec scoffed again, sounding defensive. “Did you speak to him or not?”
I mean, the things you know... 😎
“He speaks to his son on the phone just before lunch break every day,” Alec informed him,
Oh dear Lord. Jackson sure wants David dead. 😬😎
“Just tell Professor Lightwood you don’t want to be his pimp,” Jackson suggested dryly.
This is asking a bit too much, don't you think, Jackson? It's David. And Alec.
“And you said yes?” Jackson rolled his eyes. “Good God, man. You need to learn how to say no to hot people.”
Oh, David. WAIT TIL YOU MEET THE KID...
He might even be writing fanfiction about them in his head, but that’s no one else’s business.
Jackson pleeeeeease. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“I’m worried I’ll mess it up,” David pouted, looking defeated.
“Oh, you most certainly will.”
Alec, oblivious fool, MAGNUS DID ASK YOU OUT.
“Only good things,” David winked. “Why? Did he ask you out already?”
“What? No! He just...he was being super weird right now!” Alec groaned
I am not hiding my face in a pillow. I totally am. I don't think this will take the turn David or mostly Alec wants it to.
“I think it’s really nice,” David offered. “Good fathers are so hard to come by these days. Professor Lightwood is a very rare find.”
Like I suspected. Jesus, these two idiots. 🤣🤣🤣😬
“You don’t think it’s weird?” Magnus asked, looking worried.
“Of course, I don’t!” Alec gasped. “Magnus, you can’t help how you feel. I know it’s weird because of the university, but it’s not against the rules-”
“That’s not the point!” Magnus groaned. “It’s unethical! And it’s frowned upon!”
“People frown upon all kinds of shit,” Alec rolled his eyes. “It only matters how we feel.”
HEARTBREAK. My baby 😭😭
“Nor the right person!” Magnus sighed.
Alec swallowed. “I see.”
YAAAAAAASSSSSSS. I am loving the emotional roller-coaster of this conversation.
“Well, I can’t say it’ll be easy,” Magnus mumbled. “I’ve tried, you know.”
“You’ve tried what?”
“Getting over you.”
Which I bet you watched numerous of times by now, sweetheart.
 “He’s obsessed with you. He even found a video of you working out online.”
Whooooooooooop I love communication so fucking much.
“Magnus, how the fuck was I supposed to know that? I’m not a mind reader!” Alec chuckled incredulously. “You could’ve just asked me out yourself, you know.”
“No, I like to be pursued,” Magnus hummed to himself.
Alec cleared his throat at that. “Are you open to being pursued right now?”
“That depends, Alexander,” Magnus said, looking like he was trying not to smile. God, he was gorgeous. “Are you going to pursue me yourself or send another student after me?”
“Nope. Just me this time.”
“Good,” Magnus nodded and hopped onto Alec’s desk. “Now lock the damn door.”
HE'S GOING TO ASKHIM TO PICK UP MAX, RIGHT!?
“I thought you could make up for your fuck-up by doing me a favor.”
Oh Alec. Now you're not playing nice.
“If I messed up, how are you going on a date?” David frowned.
“Thanks to my own charm, obviously,” the man rolled his eyes. “You were no help.”
HE DID, I KNEW IT.
“There he is!” the man waved at a stranger who was running towards them. “Max! Over here! I got you a ride!”
THESE TWO. My loves!
“Hello, Um David,” the boy chuckled. “You can call me Max. I also go by babe, honey, and cutie pie. We can discuss other options in the car.”
And then he turned around and walked away.
“Gyatt!” David slapped a hand over his mouth. Christ, this was going to be a long drive.
You don't. You date him in secret and then go down to city hall and marries him without anyone knowing.
“How do you tell your professor that you want to fuck his son?”
Dani, thank you, thank you, thank you for this crack. The second-hand embarrassment is so strong in this one and I'm loving it so fucking much.
I'm immensely grateful for the laughter you brought me. I especially needed them today.
All my love to you.
The sole intention of writing this was to make you laugh. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am glad you enjoyed it! I hope to create more things that will bring a smile to your face 💙
8 notes · View notes
finniestoncrane · 2 years ago
Note
While I do say I have the memory span of a goldfish - Finnie, don’t consume yourself for us.
We won’t forget/hate you. Post once, post twice, don’t post and take a year long vacation.
If someone holds a grudge just because you are taking some time for yourself, then they’re not worth the hassle anyway.
oh my god you have... no idea how perfectly timed and meaningful this is to me!!
yesterday was my first day of no posts and i was terrified and it was weird to wake up to see notes on old fics but nothing on a new one, but weird in a good way! it's just something i need to get over as a people pleaser and someone who obsessively seeks validation lol but i already feel so much better ;-; i have ideas of my own again that i can focus on, i have the energy to think about stuff with friends
weed out the weak i suppose, everyone left is my friend and i am sending them loving vibes across the oceans 💚
also it would be exceptional to be the kind of person who was like "i'll post when i want" but autism y'know? i like to have a routine in place and a little colour coded schedule i can look at lmao
Tumblr media
24 notes · View notes
surrexi · 8 months ago
Text
so i've been working at my new job for a little over two months now. i'm supposed to be having weekly one-on-one meetings with my boss to track how i'm settling in etc but because he's outrageously busy (like, the kind of busy that indicates there really should be two people with his job) i'm really having them every two weeks or so.
anyway i had one today, about an hour and a half before the end of the day. and it was going all right, if a little awkward because i'm a socially awkward penguin and i don't know how to mask right yet in corporate land. we were going over the various projects i'm working on, pretty normal, except every so often my boss would make an aside comment that would make me worry Something Was Wrong.
finally at the end of the meeting he's like "so there's a couple things that have been brought to my attention" (did not specify what things, like if it was something i said or i way i handled a situation or work that i did). he sends me a link to a training module he's working on building and points out a specific section that talks about a particular business dude's book about how to be a good team member, which says the key is to be humble, hungry, and (people-)smart.
boss is like "before i talk to you about [the unspecified reasons i am being made to feel vaguely in trouble], i want you to look this over and think about it. and we'll pick this up in our next meeting."
which is currently scheduled for next friday, but he's traveling that day so he absolutely might put it off longer.
he also made sure to say multiple times that if someone doesn't agree with this business dude's take on team building it's fine but also it means they won't fit on boss' team and to mention that although "many states" are at-will employment states (meaning during your first 90 days an employer can fire you without having a reason; note that texas is one such state but he weirdly didn't mention it), the company we work for "doesn't do that," which boss thinks is "very generous" of them because when he was a disney exec disney would absolutely fire the shit out of people at the drop of a hat.
so now i have NO IDEA what i did to make someone upset and/or angry at me or what i did wrong, but by god i have at least a week to obsess over (a) what i did and (b) who the fuck narc'd on me without idk TALKING TO ME FIRST?!
boss has said way more about his weird libertarian politics than i have about my own politics, i have only mentioned my religion in passing/in the context of discussing easter weekend plans with a coworker. i don't think i've behaved inappropriately or confrontationally with any of my coworkers, like with my anxiety i'm always worrying about doing my best to be clear and polite and not make people hate me lolsob.
the only thing i've thought of so far is that i've been pretty firm about working 8-hour days/40-hour weeks unless there's a concrete reason to graciously donate my time since my company doesn't do overtime pay and i'm salaried/exempt. like i have never said i would never work overtime and there's already been several days where i worked an extra 30 minutes to an hour that, again, i do not get paid for. unsurprisingly, boss frames being salaried as "we get to work more than 40 hours a week without it being a hassle because of overtime rules." and i do make offhand pro-labor comments/jokes a lot, but i haven't actually, like, threatened to unionize my fellow office workers. i live in texas ffs, if you say the word union too loud the cops show up.
i just feel like this is unhinged levels of psychological warfare from my boss and it took me SO LONG to find this job but now i'm like... maybe i'm not a good fit for your humble/hungry/smart team, bro. but god knows i don't want to be unemployed again. i just got decent health insurance! i can pay my own rent! and buy groceries and medicine!
ugh. why is everything hard.
4 notes · View notes
schizononagesimus · 8 months ago
Text
nine people you'd like to know better, tagged by @evilwomanenjoyer (YAY i love tag memes)
last song: europapa van Joost Klein i am SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR EUROVISION AND JOOST IS TOP 10 ARTISTS FOR ME AND i could rly infodump abt how good this song is eofhdjnd
favorite color: just like prev, forest green!! :D i use it mostly in decorating because something bad happens to all my green shirts but i have to run my decisions by my friends bc im blue-yellow colorblind
currently watching: this kind of question always gets me cause I dont really watch tv but that makes me sound homeschooled and it's not that i don't like tv it's just that nothing ever grabs me quite as much as like, yuri on ice or the owl house or smthn and i only engage w stuff I can totally obsess over. BUT i do watch a lotta movies bc like, sure ill watch 90 mins of an adventure then be done with it. I suppose im technically watching youtube series? Like im waiting for the next hermitcraft ep rn. I guess im technically watching hazbin hotel even tho i got one ep in and dont really intend on finishing it..?
sweet/savory/spicy: hmm okay it really depends but it's NOT spicy. I like spicy food but my GI tract Does Not. I mean i wouldnt say savory necessarily but salty food is my heaven. Sweet can be very hit or miss for me depending on strength and type.
relationship status: another great question im married to miss earth and I'll kiss just about anybody but also enjoy serious dates but also a fucking tumblr post made me realize im in my slut era. Idk you know that kk slider quote "the music wants to be free" it's me im the music i think we should be able to do whatever we want forever and i think we should kiss about it. i dont rly define my relationship status in terms of things that people will easily comprehend bc the ways i experience affection are just too fundamentally different and non conforming for that tbh. relationship status- ASK (always stay kissing)
current obsession: always tlt but tmagp has snuck her way in there, and I'm still watching minecraft youtube. I swear my obsessions and daily schedule revolve around the seasons they change like four times a year so mayhap i am simply waiting for the next one
last thing you googled: dragon quest games on switch hehe i just got my switch repaired and a couple years back a coworker got me eshop giftcards for hanukkah just before it broke so now i can finally use them!! dragon quest best game series hehe
tagging: @blaquidow @abigail-pent @senseoftheday @cavalierprimary @softieghost @nooomagnus @deadcart @perfectly-fuckingcivil @vvormooze ik i know the last three of you p well but how are you doing :)
6 notes · View notes
misc-obeyme · 8 months ago
Note
I have today and tomorrow off and it's really so weird because I'm not used to them being in a row 😭 but then I'm scheduled six days straight after that soo
i keep getting tiktoks about Book of Life and I wanna rewatch that so bad because it's one of my favorite movies. I don't know if it'd fit but I love putting my favorite characters into other media i enjoy (crossovers technically?) so i keep imagining mc and Mammon as Manolo and Maria. And then probably Solomon as Joaquin, just because he's my other favorite.
but Manolo literally sings "heaven knows your name, I've been praying" while trying to serenade Maria and it gets me every time. I have the perfect mental image to redraw that scene with Mammon and Mc but I can't put it on paper so AAAA
anyway i wanted to ask if you had any movie recs or anything because I don't know what to do with myself other than read all day tomorrow. OH AND ALSO IF YOU WERE GONNA WATCH THE ECLIPSE, A COWORKER GAVE ME GLASSES WHICH I WAS HAPPY ABOUT
- ✨ anon
I hope you enjoy your days off! I think it's always nice to have multiple days in a row... due to be an office gremlin, I always get the two regular weekend days off. I kinda have to use Saturday as a reset day because I'm so exhausted from the week lol. So it's nice to have that extra day for other things! (Usually chores in my case.)
Anyway, I had to look up The Book of Life because I have never heard of it before now. It sounds good! I definitely think you should rewatch it. And yeah, I think that's kinda how it goes with art? You've got the vision in your mind but the hands cannot replicate it. It can be like that with writing, too. It's just trying to convey to someone else the picture you see in your mind and it never comes out the same.
But it's definitely fun to do crossover ideas, like putting characters in other stories. I had a feverish few days obsessing over which Obey Me characters would be who in a King Arthur AU. It's just really interesting to consider how their personalities would change the story, you know? (Not me also kinda thinking about a LOTR AU kadsfkl.)
I'm afraid I may not be the best person to ask for movie recs? I don't watch a lot of movies. Generally I have the attention span problem lol. I do watch them occasionally, like I finally watched Knives Out & Glass Onion which I totally loved. But I suppose it also depends on what sorta genre you're into... I suppose those are like murder mystery style but they're also just very funny. Dang I'm trying to think of other movies I've watched recently but yeah there's not a lot... the most recent thing I've watched is Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon on Netflix which is so so good. I know it's like the tumblr rage right now, but I'm really loving it.
Though due to my inability to watch current movies, I have a lot of older classics that I like. Monty Python and the Holy Grail comes to mind immediately. I also love the old school Clue movie it's so good. And I'm a huge fan of Studio Ghibli movies, so any of those, but I know a lot of peeps have already seen them. Other older animated movies from my childhood like The Road to El Dorado and The Emperor's New Groove and Anastasia. Oh and of course I'm a huge fan of all the Lord of the Rings movies but I know that can be kind of a commitment. I also liked Pan's Labyrinth, The Birdcage, Coco (if you wanna CRY), The Boondock Saints (uh very bloody this one though), and I always kinda had a thing for martial arts movies like I love Legend of the Drunken Master lol but also Hero and of course the classic Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (there's a sequel on Netflix that was also very good). Oh and I did see Everything Everywhere All At Once which I really enjoyed!
Er so I guess that's more than I thought lol. But there are a lot of times when people will be like you haven't seen X movie!?! And I just hafta be like... I don't watch movies a lot, sorry??
As for the eclipse, I am not going to be watching it because I don't have protective eye wear and my eyesight is already terrible. I didn't realize it was happening until like today oops. I did see part of the last one... I think that happened a handful of years ago? I can't quite remember when it was, but I did experience it!
Anyway, I don't know how helpful any of this was, but I hope you enjoy your time off either way!
3 notes · View notes
girderednerve · 11 months ago
Text
apologies dear friends i continue to be: a grouchy old man, obsessed with libraries
my new job is fine objectively like there is nothing wrong with it but my boss is very "do storytime, do more storytime, we must schedule storytime," and does not really listen to anything i say, such as 'i would like to do less early literacy programming so that i have some time to do programs for elementary & early middle schoolers,' or 'please schedule me on the youth desk instead of giving me nothing but unstructured office time, leaving me isolated & uninvolved in the day-to-day operations of the library, with which i need to rapidly develop familiarity,' or 'our desk schedule actually should not be rigidly set a month in advance, because we need to be flexible & can work out desk coverage on a department level,' or 'you actually do need to have a clear & specific plan for emergencies, including severe patron issues, & this plan should be communicated to all staff instead of vaguely stashed four folders deep in the shared drive'. (actually when i repeatedly pressed for clarity on who is in charge at any given time she posted an updated chain-of-command document which listed, for some reason, me? as third in line in case of emergency? which is just bugfuck)
it feels very frustrating & i know that many of these problems will resolve themselves as i begin to actually do programs—i haven't been able to because all programming at this library must have at least 2 weeks' advance notice, and i came onboard right after thanksgiving/needed time to get my bearings at least a little—so we can get some cute kid pictures to placate the board & build more of a sense of what is needed. but i still don't really know how to pull reports so i can't weed, i only just got ordering credentials this week & have had to find $2k of books to add to a library collection with which i am largely unfamiliar & for which i have absolutely zero circulation numbers, & nobody has actually given me an up-to-date budget (i am meant to guess, i suppose?). it feels kind of like a slow ongoing disaster; i know this feeling is partially because i have 2 hours' round-trip commute to worry & stew & so on, but i also am just like. girl you are a bad manager. you have persistent staff issues because you are not good at managing people. every meeting you are in is worse because you are in it. you cannot handle interpersonal tensions by having your assistant make friendly 'reminders' to all staff which are obviously about a single person, that never works. i have really strong feelings about management for a person who does not want to be in management! should probably try to walk that one off!
i cornered the adult services/sysadmin librarian today to talk to him about some stub ideas i have for kid programs about 'learning to code,' because we have (apparently) gotten lots of requests for this kind of thing, & basically everything on offer is just buzzwordy bullshit like 'make a bracelet that spells your kid's name in binary using different color beads!' or 'buy this expensive piece of edtech which will be unsupported in six months & anyway only introduces kids to our very closed environment!' or 'just let them spend some time on the computer, so their elastic little brains can pick up digital literacy skills by exposure :)'. so i had some ideas which seemed less like, um, nonsense, but i don't actually know how to code (am stupid) so i wanted to run them past him to get a sense of whether there was any real content there. i want to build a little model transistor & talk about why computers use binary. i want to use a makey makey to have the kids construct a sort of human circuit by holding hands, so we can model a logic gate. i want to write an if-then chart together & roll dice to determine which dance moves we do (cf. a ucla comp sci prof's exercises with her four-year-old). i want to use a makey makey to make a simple morse code transmitter so we can talk about encryption & transmission. i want to make an escape room so we can practice some very basic math & simple decryption (& also persistence!). i want to have tweens play scaled-down capture the flag to think about security. my boss just wants me to do three storytimes a week into infinity
anyway i am still marinating on my computer skills for kids concepts (it's mostly buzzwordy bullshit! even the stuff i want to do is kind of bullshit, lol) & plotting my wind tunnel/paper airplane prototyping program & figuring out when i can schedule my middle grade graphic novel book club. i am trying to figure out how this job might be doable. maybe someday i will want to go to work. america autem delenda est
3 notes · View notes