#how about i eat my hand instead

[saltybiowarefantears]

the unbidden thoughts drawing parallels between Solas and Midra's, Lord of Frenzied Flame, story

[rottengurlz]

"my jugular misses your teeth." 🩸

a collab with @kashisun 🔪

[tomwambsgans]

greg said actually i wanna take YOU out and I'M gonna pay for it

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again

[faaun]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

[b4kuch1n]

frog documentation. frogcumentation

I think I mentioned a while back I'd post nibling frog momence after the gift's done given. which happened on the 2nd this month I just forgot lmao. anyways we can do it now. I used the boigameista pattern scaled up to four pieces of A4 print paper and decided to double deck it to a two layer thing, not unlike a pillow, for ease of washin. because it was gonna be gifted to a one year old child

took a long time and made a number of mistakes bc hand sewing makes me worse as a person but this guy was done in time for the birthday occasion and that's what matters. chose non-fuzzy fabrics for it because we live in a dense city in the tropics and from personal experience if I hug something made of fur I would explode. the original plan included felt patterns on its back for bonus textures for baby but that wouldn't stretch well along with the rest of the thing so had to hold that back. eventually we got this

zipper across its ass, the coat type of zipper bc I miscalculated when ordering. but it did have a shape and that's all that matters to me. will be a fun game for the baby to grow up and be severely misinformed about what a frog looks like

happy extremely late birthday to this thing also

[theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome]

The wonderful Guardian Bingo Fest mods put 'lollipops' on my card and my brain went 'ah yes let's be as weird as possible about this'.

Bonus photo for anyone risking pressing on a read more on one of my posts. You're safe from me rambling for once.

Zhao Yunlan has company now! ☺️

[puppyeared]

save me old flipnote studio MVs.......

[sunlitmiracle]

smashes my current interest together with my old interest (aka yet another "what Dungeon Meshi but Gamers?" AU)

Once when I was a child I had a complete crying meltdown over Creatures, because the manual insisted that the complicated AI of the Norns made them truly alive and 10-year-old me was freaked out at the idea of being solely responsible for making sure these real animals wouldn't die. The funny part was that this was the Playstation version of Creatures, which has no biochemistry and very basic AI compared to the PC/Mac games where players actually were debating whether or not it was true artificial life. A PSX manual gave me existential dread and it wasn't even telling the truth.

Anyway, kid!Marcille would also have a meltdown over the Creatures series, especially if she had the computer games and got to see how vastly different some breeds' lifespans are. Like in C2 where you have Norns that live for around 5 hours and Norns that live for 10, both of which are vastly more than Ettins who don't even live for 1.5 hours (and usually less due to radiation or starvation).

Lucky for her, having the computer version means she could download modified genomes made by other players that make creatures live longer or even outright remove certain death triggers. However I think she'd have more fun learning to read and edit the genomes herself, to get a better understanding of how the game works and how to change it to suit her own tastes. And because she could pretend she's one of the mysterious ancient Shee who created the Norns, Grendels, and Ettins and then vanished, leaving behind relics of their old society.

(Speaking of Grendels, she would unfortunately dislike them because they're the Designated Evil Species and she'd hate how they harass and attack her Norns. I think she'd also pity them though, because they get sick a lot and have short lifespans. Likely she'd just end up downloading/creating a genome without the aggression towards Norns. Ettins she'd like except for in C3 when they dismantle her meticulously-placed gadget setups, so she might mod out their hoarding compulsions too. Both of them would of course also live for however long her Norns would live.)

Also. While standard creatures' lifespans are counted in hours, if you modify the half-lives in the genome editor you can increase it to centuries. Or even just over a millennium if you set the half-lives to their max length (assuming you also leave the old age death trigger at its vanilla value).

and I like to think that elven Creatures players would pass around copies of what they consider a template genome that's appropriate to their own lifespans. Something that would make their creatures live for weeks or months of continuous play. I also like to think the Creatures DS Warp is still active in this AU because of the hilarious frustration when these long-lived Norns travel to worlds run by short-lived players whose Norns have vanilla lifespans, and vice versa.

(Most of the time in Creatures, offspring of parents with different lifespans will just have one or the other, but there's a chance the genes cross over right in the middle of the various age triggers and cause unstable aging rates. Like a Norn that goes through the childhood stages in hours but then has a very extended adulthood. Or a days-long childhood followed by suddenly dropping dead of old age once the vanilla adulthood genes kick in. Or, if the child has one parent's half-life decay rate and the other parent's age triggers, all sorts of odd things could happen. I once had hybrid Norns who lived for 20 hours and would die of organ failure before reaching the old age threshold!)

(Now that I think of it, Marcille would absolutely hate fast-agers. The first time she watches a creature hatch, turn old, and die in just one brief minute of life, she would be sobbing for days. One of the first things she'd learn to mod out would be mutations that cause the Ageing/Life chemical to decrease unusually fast.)

On a lighter note, while I don't know what her favorite designs would be I think she'd love choosing cute breeds to use in her world. Once she figured out how to give her creatures the comfortable life she wants them to have I can see her redirecting all her gene-editing efforts into changing color expressions. She might even learn to sprite or model her own custom designs.

[leafy-m]

So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person

[heyitslapis]

I dont think yall know just how fucking much i have to reserve myself when i text them

[shatterthefragments]

(currently overwhelmed bc of having to entertain mum while i needed to get ready for bed so I’m just. Hopefully going to fall asleep. And thinking of all that I have to do this weekend. And hoping to hell I don’t get sick from my family. I know for sure dad won’t be wearing a mask while he drives (three others are joining in his car) and he’s a pall bearer too so he has other duties indoors and it is SO BAD right now and I can’t afford to get sick again. I’ll probably have no short term disability left to take if I do. If I don’t even have the energy I won’t be able to go to my shows even if I can somehow afford them. I won’t be able to see my friend there. I won’t be able to get more tattoos (for Completeness I need at least one more to make a dozen this year)

And fuck. I’m even like. A bit worried about trying to get donuts so I can give my sister a birthday donut or few (bc she likes them, we weren’t able to do any donut days this summer, and they’re reasonably affordable)

…also I might have to drive when 爸爸 is off on his pall bearer duties. In the Bad City. With several people that will talk. And that I almost definitely can’t loop. Say. Ashnikko’s Worms ad nauseam (for them) like I did last time I drove that city. The aunt who could drive is recovering and probably shouldn’t tbh. The other aunt doesn’t navigate there. And as long as all my passengers shut up ish (a few don’t speak English which is fine except I need to be able to drive so I need the cars occupants on my terms in stressful environments especially) and get real cool real quick about me taking the long way (I miss exits and turns and shit) I mean. It’s possible. It’s ridiculously stressful (even just thinking about it) and. I’m trying to reduce stress wherever possible bc FUCK I don’t ever want to have Those stress dreams where I’m dying because of it again. I want to want to live. I want to live.

[followmykpopsideblog]

So I finally defeated the monster horde at Fort Hateno (how many times did I die? Hahaha not relevant...) clearing up the road so I could FINALLY go visit Hateno

First thing I did was check to make sure my house was still there ofc! And.....

Zelda's journal??? 👀👀👀👀👀

Oh my God..... they were roommates...

[sparkleofstardust]

i am so mentally unwell about tim drake

[fragglerockopinions]

The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."

[folkinsomnia]

These were both taken around this time in March 2014, during probably the worst of my disordered eating and college era self harm, between my first and second almost* suicide attempts. This was maybe five pounds above my lowest weight as an adult (which was like 145 I wanna say), and I still obsessively thought I was overweight, or god forbid FAT. (I now weigh ~250 pounds and am actually fat now and also reclaim the word for myself etc etc.) However, looking at these pictures, I think I looked underweight for my height and my frame. I wasn't in danger or anything, and maybe this is hindsight talking, but that version of me looked unhealthy for my body. I hated everything about that body and fantasized about drastic, deadly ways to make it smaller.

I struggle with being fat and feeling neutral if not positive about it on a daily basis. But I don't get dizzy and shaky and start hurting from restricting and exercise in tandem anymore. I came across these pictures by chance looking for something else in my files, and seeing my own untreated depression and misery and bodily harm reflected back at me is weirdly affirming. I didn't plan to be alive, fat, unable to pinpoint the last time I hurt myself or barely ate for two days, and six months from turning 30. I'm all of those things now, and most days it feels pretty damn good.