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xaidyl · 4 years

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You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting

Actual parent:Brennan

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter.

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him.

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario.

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting.

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him.

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful.

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone.

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table.

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast.

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud.

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing?

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop.

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense.

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying.

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through.

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51.

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times.

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere.

5. Stabbing

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party.

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left.

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices.

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow.

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy.

#long post #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #fantasy high

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d-criss-news · 4 years

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Ryan Murphy’s (Kinda) True ‘Hollywood’ Story: 1940s Meets Gay Stars, Interracial Romance and (Gasp!) a Female Studio Chief

The prolific TV creator and Netflix unveil a revisionist take on the golden age of movies, showing how much (and how little) has shifted in entertainment and beyond: “'Hollywood’ can change the world.”

On an abnormally cold January evening, on the steps of Los Angeles’ Shrine Auditorium, history was being rewritten.

Two actors, one playing Rock Hudson, the other Hudson’s African American screenwriter boyfriend, Archie, were tucked inside a teal blue Packard Club Sedan, awaiting their cue. Outside, it was Oscar night, 1948, and despite warnings of grave backlash, the pair was prepared to step out as a couple for the first time.

Archie exited first, his eyes wide with trepidation, then Rock. In matching white tuxedos, they grabbed for each other’s hands and shuffled nervously down the red carpet.

The press box erupted in hisses, then boos.

“Are we doing the right thing?” Archie whispered.

“Absolutely we are,” Rock replied.

The two exchanged smiles, exhaled and made their way into the theater. Then they stopped and did it again. And again.

Ryan Murphy, the scene’s chief architect, was a few miles east, buried in one of his dozen other projects, but his fingerprints could be detected everywhere. The reimagining — part of his new Netflix anthology series, Hollywood — offers a world in which Hudson (played by Jake Picking) walked openly as a gay man, as opposed to the real-life heartthrob who remained closeted until his death from AIDS in the mid-1980s. Elsewhere in Murphy’s revision of history, an African American actress, played by Laura Harrier, is cast as the star of a major studio picture, written by Hudson’s black boyfriend (Jeremy Pope), helmed by a half-Asian director (Darren Criss) and greenlit by a female studio chief (Patti LuPone) and her gay head of production (Joe Mantello).

If Pose was Murphy’s effort to champion the marginalized, Hollywood’s his shot at imagining such marginalization was undone decades ago. The series, his first without his longtime collaborators at 20th Century Fox Television, drops in its entirety May 1, with a sprawling ensemble of real and fictional characters. It was supposed to feel timely, its period backdrop a reminder of how much and how little has changed in 70-plus years; now, landing in a world grappling with a global pandemic, its 1940s setting could be the escape so many are seeking.

“I’ve always been interested in this kind of buried history, and I wanted to create a universe where these icons got the endings that they deserved,” says Murphy, 55, who’s been waiting out the virus at his home in Los Angeles, with his husband and two young sons, who now require homeschooling. “It’s this beautiful fantasy, and in these times, it could be a sort of balm in some way.”

The Netflix executives who shelled out roughly $300 million for Murphy’s services in 2018 can only hope so. Already, they’ve had to cancel influencer screenings, scrap subway ads and punt on potential plans for a premiere benefit for the now hard-hit Motion Picture Television Fund, which houses several stars of the era in its L.A. retirement facility. As for the show itself, it’s certainly not the broad-sweeping, four-quadrant fare that Netflix is widely thought to prefer. The pilot episode alone features six sex scenes — a mix of gay and straight — and nearly all involve some sort of financial transaction. By episode three, which the show’s writers have nicknamed “night of a thousand dicks,” the characters have found their way to one of director George Cukor’s infamous pool parties.

Still, Netflix head of originals Cindy Holland says that Hollywood is exactly the kind of elevated, inclusive and ultimately hopeful programming that the company wants from Murphy, and the seven-episode limited series was fast-tracked as a result. “What I love,” she says, “is that Ryan is creating a world that he wants to will into existence.”

***

Murphy’s first inkling for Hollywood came over a celebratory dinner with Criss following their fruitful awards run for the Versace installment of American Crime Story. With rosé flowing, the two began discussing a next possible collaboration. Murphy wanted to do something young and hopeful; Criss proposed 1940s Hollywood. The 33-year-old actor had been fascinated by the lore surrounding characters like Scotty Bowers, the L.A. hustler who operated out of a gas station on Hollywood Boulevard, along with golden age stars like Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, and he was eager to explore the era with Murphy.

“There’s a blinking red light on it that says, ‘Ryan Murphy, Ryan Murphy,’ ” says Criss, “because it’s sexy, it’s fun, it’s glamorous, it’s dangerous and it has resonance now.”

Murphy didn’t disagree. As a student of Hollywood history, he’d already gone down the road with his FX series Feud, which centered its first season on Joan Crawford and Bette Davis. This would simply allow him to dig deeper on figures who’d long captured his attention, from Anna May Wong, the first Chinese American movie star, who was effectively run out of Hollywood, to Hattie McDaniel, the first African American to win an Oscar and not be allowed to sit with her cast in the theater. “I’m always moved by these characters who weren’t fully seen or didn’t get their moment,” says Murphy in an interview on the Paramount lot earlier this year, where he was directing Meryl Streep in The Prom, another Netflix production. At one point, he’d even toyed with the idea of doing a Biography-style anthology series with an episode devoted to each.

Not long after that dinner, Criss was at a bachelor party when his phone rang. It was Murphy. “He says, 'Do you mind if I just do my thing on this?’ ” says Criss. “And I’m like, 'You’re Ryan fucking Murphy. Do whatever you want!’ ”

So, Murphy picked a collaborator, Ian Brennan, with whom he’d worked on Glee, Scream Queens and The Politician, and the two began quietly tossing around ideas. With the help of a few researchers, they landed on a story that revolved around a Bowers-esque service station, with a staff full of actors and directors looking to be stars. “It was super fun and sexy and salacious,” says Brennan, “but it was also about the #MeToo underbelly of 1940s Hollywood, which felt very, very contemporary.”

The men found it exhilarating to depict sex so explicitly and in every possible combination. “To be able to describe exactly what is happening is really, really cool,” says Brennan. And despite the appetite for such racy content varying dramatically around the globe, Netflix brass was passionate about its inclusion — a marked difference from his and Murphy’s experience on previous shows, where they fought tooth and nail over the mere mention of sexual terms. “I hope this isn’t speaking out of school,” he adds, “but the one thing [Netflix’s vp original series] Brian Wright said to me, was, like, 'Thumbs-up on the sex. If anything, dial that up.’”

From the Pose writers room, producer Janet Mock would see Murphy and Brennan huddled in a nearby room and wonder what the latest “secret Ryan Murphy project” was all about. At one point, Mock found herself pumping intel out of a writers’ assistant, who told her, “It’s a thing called Hollywood, it’s about this gas station.” Having seen the 2017 documentary Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood, she figured, “OK, there’s no place for me in that. I’ll continue with Pose.”

But that would soon change, beginning with an eye-opening discussion in the writers room about which of the ensemble’s contract players would be picked to star in the film at the center of Hollywood. The role was that of real-life actress Peg Entwistle, a blonde Brit who jumped to her death from the famed Hollywood sign. “At first, we were like, “Well, it can’t be the black girl [Harrier’s Camille], they wouldn’t have done it. …’ And then it was like, 'Well, wait a second, what if it actually was? What if Peg becomes Meg,’ ” says Brennan. One what-if led to another and then another, and before long they’d decided to go back in and start revising history — this time, with Mock as a credited writer.

Now, rather than use the series to, say, showcase the powerlessness of a studio head’s aging housewife, in this case LuPone’s Avis, they tweaked the story so that suddenly it explores what would happen if Avis gained control of her husband’s studio. It was the same for several others, including Rock Hudson, says Murphy’s co-creator. Instead of telling the tragic tale of a person forced to hide, they allowed themselves to explore what would happen if he refused to do so. “Once we began asking, 'What if?’ it became a different show,” says Brennan, with Mantello adding: “It became a fable of what could have been.”

With Netflix execs eager to get the series up on the service, Murphy began loading the cast with his usual mix of familiar names — from Jim Parsons, as Hudson’s real-life closeted agent Henry Wilson, to Rob Reiner, as the head of the fictional Ace Studios — and newer discoveries, like Samara Weaving (Ready or Not) as Reiner’s daughter, or Picking as Hudson and Pope as his fictional boyfriend. As with other recent ensembles, he listed all of them not in order of importance or seniority but rather alphabetically on the call sheet. The message was clear: “The star of the show is the show,” says Murphy. Still, initial hires Criss and David Corenswet, who’d made his debut on The Politician, were given executive producer credits, along with backend points on the series. (There’s already talk of a season two, which would pick up in the late 1960s, with many of the same actors in entirely new roles.)

At some point in the production process, Murphy found himself scaling back the graphic nature of the series, too — a byproduct of his own personal recalibration, he says, having spent so much of his pre-Netflix life fighting to show so much as a woman’s nipple. “When you’re finally free, you have this tendency to go full tilt boogie, but ultimately I became much more interested in the emotion of the characters, and, frankly, I became protective of them,” he explains, suggesting every episode had an X-rated version, an R-rated version and a PG version, and, to the delight of participants like Corenswet, who plays an actor-cum-sex worker, Murphy would almost always select the R one.

“I think Ryan realized as we were shooting that the best part of the sex was the romance — and that’s always great to hear as an actor, especially when it applies to your five-page sex scene with Patti LuPone,” says the 26-year-old Corenswet. LuPone, for her part, was just thrilled she was still asked to do a sex scene at age 71. “Finally!” she bellows, praising Murphy for having both the vision and the courage to take the risks he does: “Ryan’s fearless,” says the Tony winner, who also popped up in Pose, “and I’m so happy to be in his world."

***

Long before Murphy was a household name, with a big fat Netflix deal to ostensibly take all the risks he wants, he was a frustrated former journalist fighting to change a system that wasn’t built for him. His own secret had been revealed at just 15, when his mother found a drawer full of love letters from his then-22-year-old boyfriend at their home in Indiana. Horrified, she and Murphy’s father threw their son into counseling, hoping he could be "fixed.”

A decade or two later, after his first career as an entertainment writer, Murphy carved out a place for himself in television, where he could exist comfortably as a gay man — so long as he didn’t try to write anyone like himself into scripts. “There were lots of words that they’d use to discriminate against you,” he says, “too flamboyant, too camp, too theatrical, and they were all code.”

By the mid-1990s, he’d joined forces with 10 or so other out or soon-to-be-out creatives, a group that included Nina Jacobson, Greg Berlanti and A Beautiful Mind’s Bruce Cohen. Giving themselves the name “Out There,” they’d meet in courtyards and living rooms to swap horror stories and try to plot a path forward. “We were young and didn’t have much money, but we had a lot of energy and a need to connect with and support each other as gay people working in a straight environment,” says Jacobson, who’d later collaborate with Murphy on American Crime Story and Pose. “And for a lot of us, it was, for the first time, that feeling of community.”

In time, Murphy, like the others, found a way to “monetize [his] pain.” His first creation, Popular, debuted in 1999, and other opportunities followed. Popular begat Nip/Tuck, Nip/Tuck begat Glee, and before he knew it, Murphy had moved from TV’s fringes to its red-hot center. As The New Yorker once wrote, “He changed; the industry changed; he changed the industry.” In early 2018, he signaled that power by signing a nine-figure deal, among the most lucrative in the medium’s history.

So it is perhaps fitting that Murphy’s first project wholly for and from the service includes a scene that trumpets what he calls “the thesis statement” of his career. It begins with Criss’ character, Raymond, being regaled by the story of Anna May Wong’s awe-inspiring screen test for the lead role in the 1937 adaptation of The Good Earth, a part that ultimately went to a far less deserving Caucasian actress. Suggesting it was one of the saddest stories Raymond had ever heard, a film executive played by Mantello responds:

“What’s so sad about it? The picture was a hit. [They] were right. You can’t open a picture with a Chinese lead or a colored one, a number of theaters won’t run it.”

Raymond: “But you said she deserved the part?”

Exec: “Yes, but the hard fact is, had she gotten it, the picture is not a hit.”

Raymond: “How do you know that? You never made the movie, so how do you know it’s not a hit?”

Criss’ character continues with a monologue that is so perfectly Murphy you can almost close your eyes and picture him saying it.

“Sometimes I think folks in this town don’t really understand the power they have. Movies don’t just show us how the world is, they show us how the world can be. If we change the way that movies are made — you take a chance and you make a different kind of story, I think you can change the world.”

Criss himself would argue that Murphy already has. “His dial is always in extremes. So, if he’s doing Glee or Scream Queens or this, it’s at an 11, almost as a middle finger to reality,” says the actor. “It’s like he turned the dial over to say, 'This is how I’d like to see the world in my wildest dreams. Ain’t it fun?’ ”

In the past two years, since he moved his creative hub from 20th Century Fox TV, where he still maintains a considerable roster, Murphy been responsible for producing roughly 200 LGBTQ characters, many featured as leads. At least a third of his Hollywood cast is older than 70 (“Seventy is the new 40,” he teases), and nearly every project he launches is fronted by a woman — and that’s just in front of the camera. “If you see it, you can be it,” Murphy says often.

It’s a worldview that appeals to Netflix’s Holland, for whom he’s already prepped two films (Prom, The Boys in the Band), two docuseries (Circus of Books, Secret Love) and five seasons of inclusive television, including a Halston miniseries that, along with his 20th programs Pose, American Horror Story and American Crime Story, shut down care of COVID-19 in March. In the weeks since, when he isn’t toggling between Tiger King and MSNBC, Murphy’s kept busy writing two new decidedly hopeful series, each with the express purpose of providing viewers and himself an escape. “Ryan’s the rare creator who speaks to many audiences,” says Holland. “It’s not just gay people or straight people or older people or younger people, it’s really all people who are interested in the human condition.”

To date, Murphy claims he has yet to hear the word “no” from his Netflix bosses, though he’s definitely been nudged in certain directions. “They don’t want me to do small, niche things,” he says, acknowledging that not too long ago a project like Hollywood would have been deemed just that. “But they know how to market this,” he explains, noting that Netflix will push his latest series on viewers who also like love stories, young adult series and LGBTQ fare.

For those who worried the ultra-competitive producer would chafe in a system that doesn’t provide a public report card (aka ratings), he argues that that’s been liberating. Brennan backs him up, revealing how they received initial numbers for The Politician a week or two after it premiered late last summer and then another trove of data a month or so later; and though the latter could effectively game out how many people would watch the series over time, Brennan says, “We were sort of like, 'I don’t think that’s helpful.’ ”

Murphy takes it a step further, insisting he’s no longer interested in the old metrics, like how many people are watching or how many awards a series has generated. “All the things that people tell you will make you feel successful … I have those things, they don’t,” he says. What matters to him now is being able to tell stories that he wishes he or others could have seen. To that end, he can’t help but wonder what his own life would have been had he witnessed Rock Hudson walking the Oscars red carpet as an openly gay man — and though it’s too late to change his own experience, Murphy would like to be able to improve the experience of others. So, he took a chance and made a different kind of story. “Hollywood,” he says, “can change the world.”

#darren criss #the hollywood reporter #ryan murphy #hollywood #press #april 2020

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hsiao-kang · 5 years

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Fiona Shaw by David Yeo for The Telegraph, ‘Killing Eve's secret weapon Fiona Shaw on finding new fame, and falling in love at almost 60’ by Jessamy Calkin (full article under the cut)

Fiona Shaw has found a new audience thanks to her scene-stealing turns in Killing Eve and Fleabag. The Shakespearean actor turned small-screen sensation talks spies, celebrity, tragedy, and getting married later in life.

You look great, I tell Fiona Shaw. Must be the pig’s placenta. Shaw, 60, pretty and angular in a soft grey shirt, smiles enigmatically from the sofa of her north London home. Pig’s placenta is her MI6 officer Carolyn Martens’ beauty secret in the second series of Killing Eve, Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s dark, wildly successful thriller about a psychopathic female assassin called Villanelle and Eve Polastri, the agent hunting her down.

But pig’s placenta aside, Shaw puts her youthful appearance down to ‘not being in the theatre every single night’. Which is where she’s been for pretty much the past 30 years. Formerly known for a huge body of iconic stage roles, including Hedda Gabler, Medea, Electra and Richard II, as well as for playing Aunt Petunia in the Harry Potter films, Shaw’s fame is now more attributable to her transition to television.

In Killing Eve, Waller-Bridge has taken a genre that’s a little worn out – the international-assassin thriller – and given it a completely different slant. The show won five awards at the Baftas earlier this month – including Outstanding Drama Series and Best Supporting Actress for Shaw, who in her acceptance speech referred to the ‘glass-shattering genius’ of Waller-Bridge.

Carolyn Martens, head of Russia at MI6, is a perfect example of Waller-Bridge’s wayward approach. Carolyn is very still. Arch, deadpan, erudite, severe. But she has a tipsy flirtatious side, and a hidden messy streak. She’s oblique – and the viewer doesn’t know how much she knows, or whether or not to trust her. Nor does Eve (played superbly by Sandra Oh). ‘I once saw a rat drink from a can of Coke there,’ Carolyn says earnestly to a bemused Eve when they’re in a rubbish-strewn alley. ‘Both hands. Extraordinary…’

‘Carolyn’s a joy to write,’ says Emerald Fennell – best known as an actor for Call the Midwife, and The Crown’s new Camilla – who took over from Waller-Bridge as lead writer on the second series (Waller-Bridge remains an executive producer). ‘Her blood runs very cool. She’s like a freediver who has trained herself to hold her breath and slow down her heartbeat – she’s done it for so long it’s now a permanent state. Her ability to steer an awkward conversation into blithely surreal territory is unparalleled and somehow seems very British.’

The character is entirely dependent on Shaw, adds Fennell. ‘She is unbelievably brilliant, funny, and scarily clever. In one of the episodes, another character mentions [11th-century saint] Anselm’s ontological argument [for the existence of God], and during the read-through it transpired that Fiona had written a literal thesis on it. Quite embarrassing for those of us who only had the most passing Wikipedia acquaintance with Anselm (me). Fiona’s cleverness and wit are built into the fabric of who Carolyn is.’

Shaw compares playing the part to keeping a secret at the same time as delivering a line. ‘It’s not easy to do. I have to say I do lose sleep over it – I’m playing somebody very different to what I normally play. Normally I have to expose the truth. When I’m in the theatre, where I would be swimming with the tide, it’s my job to lasso the audience and to make sure they understand the moral dilemma of the piece – that’s what leading players do. You are sort of the MC for the night…

In Killing Eve, most of my work is about knowing more than everybody else in the scene and hiding it. And it’s a terribly lonely thing to do. It feels all wrong – like rubbing my tummy and patting my head at the same time. I want to smile, I want to make jokes – but you are left with an ambiguity. You don’t know whether I know I’ve made a joke or not. It’s very good exercise for me.’

Even though they are friends, stepping into Waller-Bridge’s shoes must have been tricky for Fennell. ‘I think of Killing Eve as a beautiful, haunted doll’s house that Phoebe built,’ she says. ‘She’s already made this incredible world full of insanely compelling people, so the pleasure of writing it is to get to play in there, to put in a few of your own trapdoors and secret passageways, to move those characters around and occasionally push some of them down the stairs.’

Earlier this year, Shaw appeared in the second series of Waller-Bridge’s other seminal television show, Fleabag. Initially she had to turn it down because she was directing Cendrillon at Glyndebourne (directing opera is another of her talents). Then Fleabag overran, and she was able to join in after all.

Waller-Bridge is the definitive young auteur of our times, and it seems she can do no wrong. The stage production of Fleabag – coming to the West End in August – sold out in an hour. ‘I feel she’s nearest to Oscar Wilde,’ says Shaw now, ‘which is to say she’s greater than the sum of her parts.’ Comedy, in some ways, is quite a conservative thing, Shaw thinks, although it may not seem that way. ‘But it always has a frame; it stays within that frame but it kicks against it, like a child in a playpen.

‘Phoebe develops people so they turn into bigger people, and bigger people, and I think that’s  a confidence that’s come with her previous work. She’s mastered one form, and she’s been able to take the gate off and let the characters run out into the field – and yet they’re still intact, and the audience follow them. It’s superb.’

For actors, she says, that approach couldn’t be better, which is why so many of them, including herself, Andrew Scott and Kristin Scott Thomas, are desperate to work with Waller-Bridge.

‘I could have played the boss of MI6 and pretty well come up with the same “ker-chings” every week,’ says Shaw, who also played an MI6 officer in BBC One’s recent Mrs Wilson, ‘but that isn’t what happens in Killing Eve.’

Waller-Bridge was always on set during the making of the first series, constructing and reconstructing her work like a Rubik’s Cube. When Sandra Oh pointed out that the actor Sean Delaney, who plays Kenny Stowton (a young ex-hacker recruited by MI6), looked like Shaw, Waller-Bridge decided to make his character her son in the story, and wrote it in, just like that.

Killing Eve, though it seems so British, is a BBC America production, having been initially overlooked here, according to executive producer Sally Woodward Gentle (this was before Fleabag became a TV hit). Woodward Gentle had read the Codename Villanelle novellas by Luke Jennings, on which Killing Eve is based, and approached Waller-Bridge. She had seen her one-woman play in Edinburgh, and thought she would bring a different energy to the show.

Shaw is taken aback by its popularity, and  particularly by the wide demographic to which  it appeals. ‘Fathers and sons watch it, mothers   and daughters, husbands and wives. I don’t think it bears much analysis. I suppose it has no politics, it’s fantasy really and that’s why I think the violence is nearly allowable – it’s cartoonish.’

It’s also stylish – the music is great; the costumes are superb; the graphics are slick – and clearly a high-budget project, shot in London, Berlin, Paris, Amsterdam. Shaw is often recognised for playing Carolyn. She was amazed when, on a New York street recently, someone reacted so wildly on seeing her that she appeared to be having a fit.

Fiona Shaw grew up in Montenotte, Cork, with three brothers. Her father was an ophthalmic surgeon and her mother was a physicist. She always wanted to be a tennis player, she says, but instead studied philosophy at University College Cork and then went to Rada in London. She still remembers the audition: the teacher told her later that she smelled of libraries.

That’s because it was as if she was born into the 19th century, she says now, compared to the other applicants. She was not cool. Everyone was instructed to wear a black dress. Shaw had made her own and it was a bit wonky. She was terrified. ‘I remember some American guys at the audition were doing press-ups, and people were talking about the Royal Shakespeare Company – and I thought, I haven’t a hope in hell.’

Hearing she’d got in was, she says, ‘one of the nicest moments in my life’. She is still an advisor at Rada. She worked hard and went straight into the cast of Richard Brinsley Sheridan’s play The Rivals at the National Theatre, alongside Michael Hordern and Tim Curry (‘I couldn’t have been in better company’). Her father had his reservations, ‘but I think he thought I would come to my senses’. A year later she joined the RSC. Her parents would come and watch her, and her obvious success calmed her father’s fears. ‘He got much more interested when he could read about me in the paper – in the end he was incredibly supportive but I had to go through the firewall of his disapproval for a while.’

Then her brother Peter was killed in a car crash. Shaw was 28 at the time. ‘That was such a blow to my family. Neither of my parents could really function for about a year after that. It was very hard for them.’

Two years after her brother died, she was offered the role of Electra (for which she won the first of two Olivier Awards), and in some strange way found herself channelling her grief. ‘I loved comedy – but then I was asked to do Electra. Deborah Warner was directing and I thought, oh well, I’ll give it a go. But I didn’t see the point of a tragedy and I couldn’t do it at all. And slowly I realised that it’s much more about yourself. And I discovered a new world through tragedy.

‘Electra has a brother who she thinks is dead – and I knew something about having a brother who was dead. I wouldn’t say in any way that I was mainlining my brother, but I suddenly realised that plays are about life, and domestic tragedies are heightened in the theatre – but they are the same as all our tragedies – and that is what the theatre is for. I don’t know why I hadn’t worked that out before.’

It was the first of many collaborations with Warner (with whom Shaw also had a relationship), which went on to include Hedda Gabler, a controversial Richard II at the National in 1995, and Brecht’s Mother Courage and Her Children.

Shaw’s first major film role was in My Left Foot with Daniel Day-Lewis (1989). Soon after came Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), and later the Harry Potter series. It is the former, she says, for which she is most recognised by the public. She has just finished filming Ammonite, an historical drama directed by Francis Lee, in which she plays Elizabeth Philpot, a palaeontologist, opposite Saoirse Ronan, and Kate Winslet as fossil hunter Mary Anning.

Was there a moment when she felt she had made it on her own terms? ‘I think I was very lucky. I didn’t do film on my own terms – you’re either a film star or you are not – because I was so obsessed with the theatre when I was young. Probably I would have had to go and sit in Hollywood – but I wouldn’t do that.

‘But I have done a lot of things on my terms, just being allowed to do those shows: Electra, Hedda Gabler – and Richard II, which seemed quite nerve-racking at the time, but that was part of the thrill of it. So I’ve always tried to do things which are hard to do – maybe even to a fault.’ She has never, she says, been trapped in a long run of a West End show she didn’t want to do. ‘There always had to be an element of experiment.’

And she loves taking theatrical risks. Like her rendition of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, which premiered at Epidaurus in Greece in 2012, then went to the Old Vic Tunnels in London in 2013, and on to the Brooklyn Academy of Music. Or (with Warner) the dramatisation of TS Eliot’s The Waste Land she performed in locations including an old disco in Brussels and a former munitions factory in Dublin. Last month she revisited it in New York, reciting it against the backdrop of a sculpture exhibition in Madison Square Park – it wasn’t advertised but word spread and people came in their hundreds. ‘It was a huge pleasure, it happened almost by accident – “Will you turn this water into wine?” And I did. It was lovely.’

Shaw’s father, Denis, died in 2011, but her mother, Mary, is 93 and still lives in the house that Shaw grew up in. She drives, plays tennis. When Shaw goes back home she sleeps in her old bedroom. ‘Well, I try not to – it’s awful to sleep in the bedroom you had when you were 14. Some things are still exactly the same, the wardrobe and the poster of Narcissus – do you remember those terrible posters?’

Shaw lives between the house in north London and New York, where her wife Sonali Deraniyagala, a Sri Lankan economist, teaches at Columbia University. In 2004, Deraniyagala was on holiday in Sri Lanka with her family when they were caught in the tsunami. Her husband, parents and two young sons died. For years, Deraniyagala lived in a haze of madness and grief. In 2013, she wrote an extraordinary memoir, Wave, which won several awards and had some remarkable reviews.

Shaw was in New York performing in Colm Tóibín’s The Testament of Mary when somebody gave her Deraniyagala’s book. She read it in her dressing room. ‘I thought it was the best thing I’d read for a long time, on any level.’ She mentioned this in an interview. Then things came together in a felicitous way: Shaw was supposed to return home straight after the play closed, but she had a serious ear infection (due to having to disappear for several minutes in a plunge pool every night on stage), and was unable to fly. She stayed in New York and went to a Laurie Anderson concert, where she was invited to Anderson’s book club – they were reading Wave – to meet the writer.

‘I was so surprised that she was that person – not the person in the book. We spent half an hour chatting. When I left I thought, I have just met life.’

She pauses. ‘The play had been exhausting and so much about death, and I was feeling so miserable, and I thought, that person is life – even though she has had more death than you would wish on your worst enemy, there’s a force in her that is just life.’

When Deraniyagala came to London they met up again. ‘Very quickly I thought, I just want to live with this person, and it’s been one of the most marvellous things to happen – but it was also highly unlikely. But in my profound self, at my core, I thought, I want to live with this person. It was deeper than anything. And thankfully, she thought the same – it’s been a beautiful thing to happen at this stage of my life.’

They got married in Islington town hall in January of last year, and then had their wedding party on the day of the royal wedding. ‘It was fantastic. Half of Sri Lanka came and it was a very beautiful wedding – everyone was wearing saris and looking gorgeous. My mother played the piano and sang, which was quite hilarious, and we had a band and dancing, a very late party.’

Her mother sounds very enlightened, being 93 and coming from a small town in Ireland. Were there no raised eyebrows at the fact that Shaw was marrying a woman? (As well as Warner, she previously had a relationship with the actor Saffron Burrows.)

‘More than raised. But it’s fine – the world is changing fast. My mother was very good about it and also very impressed by who Sonali is.’

So she’s not religious? ‘Oh she is, but she’s also terribly funny about it. And she’s a sort of nouveau old person. I think being old is quite a shock for her – and a lot of friends are dead, and some of them have lost their minds. But she’s very well – and very happy for me.’

Deraniyagala and Shaw have been to Sri Lanka several times to visit Deraniyagala’s aunt, and love it there. Given what happened to Deraniyagala, recent events – the bombings at Easter – must have been completely destabilising. ‘Sri Lanka has been very much at peace for the last 10 years since the war, but the scale of what happened with those 250 people dead – it’s as big as 9/11 for them, because it’s such a small island. They were innocent people, and it’s the most depressing thing – and terribly hard for Sonali – because the mass funerals are very near to the mass funerals of her family; it’s terribly hard for her to revisit that time. It feels a bit like a natural disaster because it has no rhyme or reason. It’s a black hole of destruction.’

Shaw is about to start work on a film called Corvidae, a thriller co-written and directed by young film-maker Joe Marcantonio. Then Killing Eve series three is on the cards for next year. If she had to choose only one discipline to work in for the rest of her life – theatre, film, opera or television – which would she choose?

‘That’s a cruel question. I would find it very difficult, but I would probably say television because I’ve done 30 years of the theatre. I’ve worked morning, noon and night, sometimes rehearsing all day and performing every night for decades. That’s a lot. I don’t have any great need to do that again.

‘And I’m very interested in television now because one of the new pleasures it’s given me is the scope of the audience. We used to be thrilled when we had 500 people, or 1,000. Now we have millions and you think, oh God, this is so obvious. Especially when the material is of such great quality and so uncynical. A few years ago they were just churning television out, but they aren’t now – it has some of the best minds working in it. So I feel in a way like I’m in the same profession, it’s just the shape of the stage which has changed.’

In the end, she says, in any medium, it all comes down to the same things she has always aspired to, and which she is so excited about – that sense of infinite possibility in a role, and the thrill of making the heartbeat of the audience quicken.

Killing Eve returns to BBC One and iPlayer in June

#fiona shaw #killing eve #not a particularly well written profile #there's a huge chunk about pwb at the beginning wtf #but it's behind a paywall so i thought i'd post #fshaw fascinating as always #she talks about how she met her wife and their wedding!!!#it's so sweet #(obligatory: that's what i want)#it's also the most i've read about/heard her talk about her personal life #pwb #sonali deraniyagala #for future reference

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youforeverwithme · 4 years

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kuckie · 8 years

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I’ve watched a lot of series through my life...

...like, seriously, a ton of series, from beginning to end, some of them. I think the first series I followed, like, actually waiting for the next episode, were anime series.

Then, I watched House MD and at the same time, Torchwood. The time between a season and the next one, were 6 months approx. for both of them. So I watched series like Law and Order, CSI (all of them) which you can watch and stop watching because most of the time the episodes’ stories start and end within the episode. The background story is only interesting for some, but it is not the centre of the series (at least, first seasons)

House was like this and at the same time I couldn’t just focus on the case on the episode, I loved the background story. The same with Torchwood (although the effects turn me off sometimes). I watch other series in between seasons, I read fanfiction, I wrote some, and changed ships in House when the character development and chemistry between characters changed. First seasons I was a Houseron/Hameron shipper because the vibes where suggested by characters’ interactions, plotlines and chemistry between the actors/characters. Then, I started shipping Huddy, because the characters’ interactions, plotlines and chemistry between the actors/characters guided me to think in that direction. Finally, I was a Huddy/Wilse shipper because even though one of the characters have left the series (Cuddy), I felt in House interactions with other characters that he was suppose to keep feeling attached to her. And Wilse, because the characters’ interactions, plotlines and chemistry between the actors/characters subtext and text implied the possibility. Even though through the whole series they were mostly shown as heterosexual men, behaviour and evolution of their relationship, together with dependency in a very "special” and toxic friendship (but that’s topic for another post) allowed the ambiguity. AND THEN THAT FINAL EPISODE. Maybe it was friendship, maybe it was more of a romantic/sexual relationship, maybe it was not. But the series allowed the ambiguity with the plot.

Torchwood has a very special place in my heart. There was this gay actor (John Barrowman), playing an omnisexual character (as a pansexual who only recently-ish discovered the term, he was the first character that show me it was not bad to love everybody/every body). There were aliens, kick ass women who had personalities, that loved and were loved back, that show me unrequited love was not that bad (Toshiko loving Owen was not the centre of Toshiko’s character also) and you could live with it. A woman being the one that cheated on her boyfriend with co-workers (not that is good, but it is normalized for guys), a male receptionist/coffee boy (Ianto was so much more, just, normally, there are women on those jobs)... I shipped every ship on these series, because the characters’ interactions, characters’ personalities, plotlines and chemistry between the actors/characters showed that everybody could end having a relationship with anybody. My favorite ship, and the one I read and wrote/write about is Janto, because it was sexy (which was/is not common for gay couples in no gay centred series (Queer as Folk was gay centred and sexy at the time, for example)), it change the interactions between characters accordingly, but not all the show. A character who had a gf then had a male lover/partner (they weren’t boyfriends, they said they were together very weirdly) explained that HIS FEELINGS (not just physical attraction or sex) were confusing but that he knew he felt something for this man. HE SPOKE OPENLY about it. Shy-like, but openly. Then when (SPOILER ALERT) Ianto was killed (among other characters) and everything changed I couldn’t keep watching the series much longer because it hurt too much. Because they were going somewhere with it before. But I was not angry against the writers, because it was foreseen, it was not just a killing for the drama, it was what happen to characters on the series (because at the end of the day, they had a dangerous job).

Why, you may think, am I writing about this.

I write about this, because I want to explain something about Sherlock. I ship pairings on those series because I thought canonically on the series they would make sense. I wanted them to become canon because the chemistry between them was suggested by the writers/actors actions. I had ships like Foreman/Chase on my writings because they help me get other ships on my stories, but I never thought they would become canon, because in the show THEY ALMOST HATED EACH OTHER. I shipped Jack and Ianto before they were a thing because they spend a lot of time together and had conversations other characters on Torchwood didn’t have (also, we didn’t know about the gf for a while). I thought they might end together, but if they didn’t (before they started developing their feelings) I understood it was because there was also chemistry between Jack and Gwen, for example.

Now, Sherlock. I watched the first season in 2011, so I had a year or so to get into the fandom, analyse the series, propose ideas as to how they escaped from the swimming pool before we got series 2. At the very beginning, I got into more than just the cases. I very much liked/like the background story. It was never about the cases really.

I didn’t ship Johnlock immediately thinking about it becoming canon. I shipped it because I thought it was nice that Sherlock/Ben C face glowed when instead of being called a freak for his deductions, he was “amazing, brilliant”. Because they went to live together and they were asked if they will need two bedrooms as something casual, not a decisive point of them renting the place. Because the brother of the main character suggested it (at the moment I thought that confirmed Sherlock liked men). Because there is a scene where both the main characters said that loving people of the same gender is fine, one saying GFs are not his area (which made me think it was implicitly acknowledging he did not liked women).

But I didn’t thought at that point it will be Canon. I thought, they are playing with the gay innuendos. I thought, John Watson is straight as fuck, look, he has date after date. He want to date every frigging women on the show but Molly.

I liked Molly a lot too, so I thought maybe they will pair her with Sherlock because she is obviously interested. Maybe they will pair them with John, as a Mary Morstan adaptation. I thought Molly and John could work when she said “Sorry, I don’t know your name”, because I thought “yeah, they may start seeing each other more now and it will be a good meeting by chance, through a friend”.

However, season 2 happened and season 3... Irene Adler, John GFs and Sherlock death happened and ... the characters’ interactions, plotlines and chemistry between the actors/characters made me BELIEVE it was definitely going to be canon Johnlock. The writers cannot lead in any other direction, I mean, you mourn over a friend, but you keep going. You don’t ask a friend for a miracle of them not being dead, you are not angry with a friend because they weren’t dead and didn’t tell you, you are relieved. You on the other hand, can be angry with someone that is more than a friend, because they owed you more. They should have trusted you.

I stop shipping Molly with John when she was obviously still thinking about Sherlock (Christmas party) and began shipping her with Greg, although because of some fanfiction, I was very much into Mystrade. I never thought Mystrade would be Canon (which kinda subtlety happened-ish, but then in season 4 Lady Smallwood and WTF Mycroft) but I thought maybe Lestrolly/Molstrade (because, again the characters’ interactions, plotlines and chemistry between the actors/characters suggested it)

Then, Season 4 happened and for 2 episodes I thought it was definitely no queerbaiting when they married John, they will make history.They will make him openly bisexual. There’s no other reason to kill Mary. Without the heartbroken-pushed-to-limits-former-soldier John, he would never open his heart. Nor would Sherlock.

Then episode 3 happened and 1st, I thought it was a tribute to The Ring (Ringu). I watched it and regretted watching the episode. I thought about Molly being so sad answering the phone, not eager to answer, when in the previous episode she was there because Sherlock asked her to 3 weeks earlier. No suggested communication in between. Maybe the checking up on the ambulance would made her angry. WHo knows, plotholes, whatever.

My point is... Johnlockers don’t ship Johnlock because we are gay fetishists, because we hate Molly (we like Molly as a character for seasons, we hate what they did to her (plot device, cough cough), I’m personally sad that Lou feel attacked because we think the I love you part was awful for the character and misleading as a VERY IMPORTANT part of the series). Johnlockers had explain quite extensively why Johnlock was the only shipping possibility. And the ambiguity of everything is just awful.

On House MD you could accept the House/Wilson ship not being canon, because it was sensible as a friendship due to very well developed relationships through all the series with other characters.

On Torchwood you could understand the death of a main character because most of the characters died in related-to-job activities, not because killing the gay character was groundbreaking (which is not now, neither was nor will be ever) or a plot twist or the character was used as a plot device. Also, the actors and writers were very sympathetic to the fans who felt this as a devastating moment for the fandom.

On Sherlock you cannot accept the writers’ queerbaiting. There’s this amazing chemistry going, character developing, kick ass women... and you ignore all and make the plot developed in 4 seasons shatter on the floor killing one of the kick ass women for no reason but to strained/get back together other characters as friends, going back to your characters’ personalities from season 1 and addressing some LGBT+ issues within your own series jokingly knowing the fandom is very serious about it.

That’s why I hope there are more episodes to come on Sherlock. More series. Anything. No because I want two men kissing or fucking on my screen, but because I think the characters deserved it. Molly deserves it, because she could have been more than sad Molly. Mycroft deserves a deeper explanation of his character after what we discovered. Sherlock deserves to show how human he can be, that he deserves love, being loved, being in love. That we discover the not-so-perfect John loving, being loved back without lies and actually raising Rosie up.

#Long post #rants after being on twitter 2 minutes #Sherlock #sherlock bbc #queerbaiting #HOUSE MD #torchwood #Johnlock #Janto #Wilse

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stunningcaptainswan · 8 years

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Celebrity Crush (1/1)

Happy birthday present to my dear friend @captain-swan-love! I don’t usually write fanfic so forgive me if this sucks. It also hasn’t been beta’ed so sorry for any typos. Hope you like it!

Title: Celebrity Crush Rating: M (sexual references/situations but no explicit sex scenes) Summary: Killian finds himself extremely confused while watching an episode of a TV show called House M.D., especially when a very familiar face appears on the screen. Captain Swan smuff with a bit of Captain Cobra and Captain Cobra Swan. Set sometime in the near future.

Sometimes Killian Jones couldn’t quite believe this was actually his life now: spending the day trying to elaborate solid plans to defeat the villainous threats against Storybrooke, surrounded by hope and the heroes who always managed to find it. Coming home to Emma and feeling that same hope consuming him whenever she smiled, something she had been doing increasingly more these days. He was certain she thought no one was watching her, but he could never miss it whenever the edge of her lips curled upwards. Sometimes it happened from intently admiring Henry from afar, other times from the taste of cinnamon on her hot chocolate and almost always whenever they were making love, as she tenderly whispered in his ear how much she loved him and the way he made her feel. He was a fan of every part of her, but her alluring smile never failed to make his heart race, rejoicing over the fact that, out of the billions of people in the world, in all the realms, Emma Swan was his True Love.

And now here he was: about to enter the house that was theirs, a physical evidence of how much his life had changed – how he had changed – and of his hero status.

Hero. He instinctively raised his left eyebrow as he smirked. He would never get tired of that title, regardless of the remainders of doubt that still plagued him from time to time. Jiggling the keys in his hand, he found himself whistling, perhaps a sign of joy of the time he was about to spend with Henry. Earlier that day, while they were both having a very pleasant – but quick – time in the shower, Emma had asked him if he would watch over the boy before he went to Regina’s for dinner. He was quickly nodding his head before she even finished the sentence. He and Henry had grown closer ever since he had moved in and at each passing day, the lad seemed to grow fonder of him, accepting him as the father figure Killian had always been ready to be.

As soon as he got in, he found Henry slouched on the couch, his eyes intently fixed on this realm’s magic box – or television as they called it.

“Hey, Killian” much like his mother, Henry seemed to always know whenever he was nearby – he didn’t even need to turn around to know Killian was the one who had just got in.

“Hello, my boy” he lightly patted Henry’s shoulder from the other side of the couch, as he tried not to sound disappointed that Henry was already entertained with whatever he was watching. Killian had hoped that maybe he would want to go sailing with him or just wander around the docks as he told him all about his safe (and age appropriate) seafaring stories. “Should you be eating those just before dinner?” in a swift gesture, Killian took the can of something called Pringles from Henry’s hands.

“Hey!” Henry shouted in protest as he watched Killian join him on the sofa, still thoroughly examining the can in his hand with a somewhat disgusted look on his face.

“How impressive. These appear to be even greasier than the ones you usually munch.” Killian could see Henry rolling his eyes in annoyance as he tried to get back his chips.

“Watching TV without Pringles is like Chuck being on the island without Wilson.” At that, Killian immediately stopped looking at the chips, his eyes focusing on Henry instead, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Henry smirked, that was exactly what he was expecting Killian to do.

“Wha- Who?” using Killian’s usual cluelessness about popular culture references, Henry finally retrieved his Pringles. He knew that Killian was just trying to help him improve his eating habits but he really just wanted to finish his tasty snack. Just this once.

“Nevermind.” Killian watched Henry as he put one of the oily chips in his mouth and resumed watching whatever he had been so enthralled in before. Realizing that the boy wouldn’t want to go anywhere else anytime soon, Killian decided he may as well keep him company. It wasn’t easy, he would always get overly sluggish prior to dinner and, before he knew it, he was closing his eyes.

When he woke up, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed but it looked like Henry was watching something different. Maybe this other thing was going to be interesting to the point where he would be able to stay awake until Emma arrived.

“What are we watching now?” Killian asked as he rubbed his eyes with his hand.

“It’s a TV show.” So this wouldn’t be as long as a film, that much Killian had already learnt. “It’s about a doctor called House.”

“House? Dr. House?” the tone in Killian’s voice sounded extremely indignant. “Why would anyone be called house?”

“Why would anyone be called Jones?” Henry crisply counter-asked. Killian already knew Henry well enough to know he was using his smartass remarks to try to get a reaction out of him, which usually led to a round of playful banter between them.

“I’ll have you know that Jones is one of the oldest surnames in the world.” Killian boasted, pretending to be offended at Henry’s words. “Although now I’m wondering if I should just change it to Killian Tavern or Killian Cabin. Maybe I’ll get one of these TV shows of my own, too” he said, as he waved his hand absentmindedly. That got Henry laughing and Killian felt a sense of pride invading him, a smile suddenly adorning his own face.

“Dr. Tavern… It sounds like a ratings winner.” Henry added, right before his eyes focused on the screen once again.

Falling into the comfortable silence that was already familiar by now, Killian tried to pay attention to the story unfolding on that television apparatus thing. So far he had only been able to see a couple of people in long, white coats wandering around.

“So tell me, what are these folks supposed to be doing?”

“They’re all doctors and they have to diagnose rare diseases.” Judging by the slightly disturbed look on his face, Killian wasn’t impressed.

“Ah… I see.” An afternoon spent at the docks would be so much more delightful than watching shows about bloody rare diseases. But he loved the boy, he would make this sacrifice for him and he would keep him company.

As Killian tried to get invested on the people parading on the screen, he could sense Henry fidgeting next to him, looking at him out of the corner of his eyes every once in a while. Whenever Killian would look at him, he’d quickly avert his gaze and look at the screen again, pretending to have always been completely engrossed in the story. Killian wondered if his presence was annoying Henry in any way but the lad had never been shy to let him or Emma know that he wanted to be alone so he tried to push those thoughts away. It was only when he felt Henry’s sideways gaze on him once again that Killian decided to inquire him. But before he had a chance to turn his eyes away from the screen, his heart stopped and anything he was about to say was quickly forgotten.

“Bloody hell…” his eyes bulged, his mouth gaping open. Looking almost straight at him, right from the television screen, was his Swan. She was also wearing one the white coats and she was talking to a blonde man and… what in the frigging hell??… how was any of this possible? She had never told him about this.

“I know, it’s impressive, isn’t it?” Henry’s excited voice suddenly brought him out of his thoughts, although his eyes didn’t blink for fifty seconds, still staring at the screen.

“Swan…” She looked quite the same, except for her hair, chocolate brown waves cascading down her back.

“Actually, her name’s Dr. Cameron” he wasn’t sure if Killian had even heard him, so lost in his state of shock. Henry couldn’t help but smirk, having waited for this moment for a long time. He had wanted to show Emma’s look-alike to Killian for a long time now but none of his previous attempts had come to fruition.

“It’s your mother.” Killian stated with a mix of disbelief and surprise in his voice, hook pointing towards the screen and eyes still glued on this never before seen version of Emma. “Just look at her!” Henry watched as Killian slowly got up from the couch and started moving towards the TV as all of his facial muscles twitched in sync, trying to understand how any of this was possible.

“No, it’s an actress who looks like mom.” with that, Henry hit the pause button, a perfect image of Emma’s look-alike frozen on the screen. By now the only thing Killian was able to do was shake his head, not really believing what his eyes were seeing.

“Why did it stop?” his head suddenly turned back, a tinge of worry in his voice. Now that he had seen this, he certainly wasn’t going to stop watching her.

“I stopped it.”

Killian was going to urge Henry to put it back on when they both heard the front door shutting. Work must have gone well because soon enough Emma was joining them in the living room, shimmying out of her red wool coat and tossing her boots aside.

“Hey bo-” the words died on her lips as soon as she took in her surroundings. Killian was standing right in front of the television screen, an image of that actress who looked like her the object of Killian’s inquisitive look. Emma instantly knew there was only one possible culprit in this. Her gaze fell on Henry and, sure enough, a guilty smile was embellishing his features. “Seriously? You’ve shown him that?” her words sounded harsher than she had intended, but Henry didn’t seem to take it the wrong way.

“I just wanted to see his reaction.” Emma could sense the tinge of regret in Henry’s words. He probably wasn’t expecting Killian to be this affected.

“Swan, how is this possible?” when Killian finally looked at her, she could see how dilated his pupils were, a clear sign that he was still surprised and taking it all in. Emma approached him carefully, a smile gracing her lips. She couldn’t help but find amusement in the situation. When she was close enough, she softly kissed him on the lips, softly grabbing his hand at the same time.

“That’s not me.” Despite her efforts to calm him down, he was still tense. The way his jaw kept twitching a sure proof of that.

“Are you certain, love? I don’t want this to be another crisis we have to resolve.” In Storybrooke, you just never knew what was going to come up next. What if someone crazy had started to create clones of everyone in town?

“I’m certain. Please don’t worry about it.” Emma could hear him sigh in relief, his body relaxing at her words.

“Yeah, Killian. It’s just someone from this world who really looks like mom.” Even Henry was trying to assure him that there was nothing to be worried about.

“Look, I know it’s…” Emma paused to take a good look at the screen. It had been a long time since she had watched this show and the remarkable similarities between her and the actress stunned her once again “…freaky, but it’s definitely not a reason for concern.”

Feeling a little more relieved, Killian managed to smile at them, his head nodding in acceptance. If they were absolutely sure that this was nothing more than a very strong and rare resemblance between two people, he was going to trust them. He still wasn’t completely convinced about it, but he wasn’t going to let this bother him for now.

“How was your day, love?” The feel of his lips on her forehead and his soft hand cradling her head earned him a low hum of appreciation.

“It was okay. I finished earlier than expected.” She stated as Killian grabbed her hand and started pulling her to the couch, letting her sit between him and Henry.

“You’re just in time to watch the rest of the episode with us!” The excitement in Henry’s voice was palpable. Unfortunately, it wasn’t every day the three of them had the chance to sit down for a while and relax together.

“Are you okay with this?” Emma suddenly turned to Killian, wanting to know if he was comfortable with watching the show that had someone who looked so much like her. Given his dazed state just a moment ago, she wanted to make sure he was okay with it.

“Sure. At least if the story isn’t captivating I can always delight in the brunette’s beauty…” he was teasing her now, his quirked eyebrow and that damn smirk of his giving him away. She lightly swatted him on the arm, pretending to be offended at his remark.

“I guess we now know who his celebrity crush is.” Emma’s elbow softly hit Henry’s ribs in a not so subtle indirect way to try to get a rise out of Killian.

“Do you have a celebrity crush, Swan?”

“Most people have celebrity crushes, Killian.”

“She totally has a celebrity crush.” Henry added before pressing ‘play’ and the image on the screen started moving again. Killian was fairly sure that the lad knew who this celebrity crush of Emma’s was but he would get the truth out of her later. Already devising a plan in his mind, he decided not to insist on the subject any further.

Making sure there was no way for Henry to see his hand, Killian quickly pinched Emma’s breast, letting her know that they would definitely talk (and maybe do other things) about this later. It had become their own secret code for when they weren’t alone but wanted to let the other know they were in (good) trouble: he would pinch her breast and she would discretely cup him through his pants. When they were finally alone, the outcome would never disappoint. Emma looked at him through the corner of her eyes, a mischievous grin planted on her lips but of course the pirate was pretending to be absolutely focused on the show. Deciding to enjoy the rest of the episode, Emma rested her head on top of Henry’s shoulder as she held Killian’s hand and laced their fingers together. After a long day at work, going home to her boys was the best part of the day.

“Her voice is different from yours.” Killian’s voice suddenly erupted through the living room after a long while. “The dimples aren’t quite the same either.” Then his hook suddenly caressed her cheek, before gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I much prefer the blonde locks.” His blue eyes were now practically drilling a hole in her head.

“Uh… I guess that’s my cue.” Henry suddenly getting up from the couch was what brought them out of their own little world as the ending credits rolled on the screen.

“Oh, right. I completely forgot you were going to Regina’s. I can drive you there, if you want to.” As much as Emma loved her son, she couldn’t help but feel excited to remember today was one of the days she wouldn’t need to worry about Henry walking in on compromising situations or hearing things she definitely didn’t want him to hear. All of which was Killian’s fault, of course.

“Mom, it’s two blocks away. I’ll walk, it’s fine.” Henry assured her as he grabbed his coat from the coat rack.

“Okay. Don’t forget to tex-“

“Text you when I get there, I know. Don’t worry. See you tomorrow.”

And just like that, he was out the door. The fact that she hadn’t gotten a goodbye kiss didn’t go unnoticed by Emma, but Henry was currently going through one of his awkward teenager phases where he wasn’t overly affectionate with anyone (except Violet, that is) so she just brushed it off.

“Want to watch another episode and then we can have dinner?” Her suggestion sounded like music to his ears and he didn’t waste any time in enveloping her in his arms, planting a kiss on the top of her head as she grabbed the remote control.

It was early on in the episode when all of a sudden images of Dr. Cameron pouncing on a blonde man and kissing him invaded the screen. Emma mentally cringed when her look-alike harshly shoved the blonde against a wall and went back to devouring him as they started getting rid of each other’s clothes. Seriously? Now??, she thought to herself.

Killian’s blissful smile suddenly turned into a serious and displeased scowl. Emma could actually see the vein in his forehead throbbing almost in sync with the movements of his now flared nostrils. Suddenly she really regretted her suggestion. Of course this was the episode with a sex scene.

“I need rum.” Before she could even say or do anything, Killian got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen.

“Okay… Maybe that wasn’t the best idea.” She added as she followed him into the kitchen, her gaze falling on him as he opened one of the cabinets and poured some rum in a glass.

“I know that’s not you, love, but watching that is still rather nauseating.” Emma couldn’t help but chuckle at his pure face of disgust as he took a sip. Keen on making him feel better, Emma started walking towards him, a very obvious and intentional seductive sway to her hips that had him gulping a little more dramatically than necessary. When she was close enough, she took the glass from him, her fingers purposely lingering on his before she brought the glass to her own lips, her gaze never leaving his. His Swan was a bloody minx and he would never get tired of it. Just when he was about to pull her to him, her hands rested on his chest for a second before she roughly pushed him against the counter, quickly trapping him with her body.

“That should be more than enough proof that the woman you saw there isn’t me.” Because this…”, her lips then landed on his, her tongue relentless and hungry, “is something I only do with you.” She breathed into him as she bit on his bottom lip.

“And it better stay that way”, Killian growled in response, an intense sense of possession taking over him. Having watched someone who looked very much like her with another man had disturbed him deeply and he suddenly felt a caveman urge to stake his claim on her, even if rationally he was well aware Emma didn’t belong to anyone but herself. His own desperation only seemed to encourage Emma’s forwardness as she carefully tilted his head and started spreading languid kisses all over his neck, as she knew he loved. But something wasn’t right, Emma could feel it in the way his body was reacting to her – perks of being True Love and all.

“What’s wrong?” she chuckled as she released his neck with a semi-worried look on her face. She really wanted to bang her pirate and she wasn’t being shy about it.

“Sorry, Swan. It’s just…” his hand immediately went to scratch the spot behind his ear, his nervousness showing through. “Are we sure that paying a visit to this bloody replica of yours wouldn’t be in our best interests?” Clearly he was still suspicious of the fact that there was someone out there who just happened to look like her.

“Please, let’s leave the poor woman alone. It’s a non-issue. I just look like her, that’s it.”

“Correction: she looks like you.”

“Okay, fine. The woman who looks like me is a normal person. The point is she’s not a threat, we don’t need to worry.” Emma was sure the tone in her voice would’ve been more patient if she weren’t so desperate to get in his pants.

“What if when Jekyll and Hyde were in town one of them made you drink the serum and then someone erased your memories?” Emma squinted at him, trying to follow his logic. He was blowing this thing way out of proportion.

“Relax. I did not drink any serum and no one erased my memories.” She reassured him, her voice now softer as her fingers gently threaded his hair.

“Can you blame me for thinking it with all the woeful things that happen in this town!?” he certainly had a point. It’s not like any of it was completely out of this world. Or hadn’t happened before. It wasn’t that surprising that he was just assuming the worst, but she knew for a fact that none of that had happened. Not this time.

“We would have realized something was wrong. And besides I seriously doubt my evil half would just go around making TV shows.” She actually laughed just thinking about it.

“Well… The Dark Swan was quite the actress, if I do say so meself…” smirking at her, he swiftly leaned into her, his flirtatious body language letting her know that she had convinced him her look-alike wasn’t a problem.

“Okay, I suddenly don’t like this conversation.” Emma knew that any mentions of her cursed self would always be a sensitive topic for her, but she was also thankful for the way she and Killian had been able to forgive each other and put all of it in the past, making peace with it. So much so that recently they were starting to make jokes about it and tease one another about it.

“My love…” he grumbled as he brought her closer to him, “you know I am a fan of every part of you. And now that all is as it should be, I can look back and appreciate certain things that were not of my prime concern back then…” his voice was suddenly a couple of notches lower as he played with the buttons on her knitted grey cardigan.

“Uh huh… Such as?” she provoked him right back, thrilled that they finally seemed to be on the same page.

“Your… assets looked particularly wondrous in that black suit of yours” the raspiness in his voice was followed by the soft touch of his middle finger tracing the curve of her left breast. He felt her shiver under his touch, a loud sigh escaping her lips. His finger slowly wandered down her body, her eyes closing in response. His thumb circled the button on her jeans as he used his hook to push her against him, letting her feel how much he wanted her.

“Don’t be a tease.” She laughed as she stood on her tip toes to kiss him.

“Aye… But only if you tell me who your celebrity crush is.” Emma’s eyes shot open at that and his rascal smirk was the first thing she noticed. Of course he hadn’t forgotten about it. If she weren’t so turned on she would probably keep being coy about it but she had no time for that now.

“Just some actor, no big deal.” Emma kept on kissing him, hoping that he would just leave it at that so they could proceed to even more enjoyable activities but Killian was having none of it.

“Ah, I think I know who it is. Henry told me about this fellow who seems to be quite successful with the ladies. Colin… Farnell? Colin… Farewell?” all the while his hand had started gripping her butt, having no qualms about keeping teasing her.

“Colin Farrell?”, she corrected him.

“Aye, exactly. I must say I do not see his appeal, Swan. You could have a more dashing celebrity crush.”

“Just shut up and touch me.” She urged him as her own hand brushed over his bulge. “And, by the way, you got the wrong Colin.”

#captain swan #cs ff #cs smuff #captain-swan-love #cs fluff #there are probably typos #but it's 4 am here so I can't find any #my fanfic

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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6 Famous People Whose Origin Stories Are Dark Secrets

Nobody expects celebrities to actually be exactly the way they portray themselves publicly. Bruce Willis doesn’t go around killing terrorists every day (that probably happens, like, every other weekend). When you’re famous, it’s understood that you’ll have to bullshit a little and cultivate an image that appeals to your audience. But some do less cultivating and more top-to-bottom renovations. It’s always shocking when famous people turn out to be the complete opposite of what they’re famous for. And that’s the case with …

Kid Rock Was Born Rich And Grew Up In A Huge-Ass Mansion

No “celebrity goes into politics” story will ever be weird again, but the announcement that Kid Rock might run for Senate still managed to turn a few heads. After all, his biggest claim to fame was supposedly spending a summer “trying different things … smoking funny things,” and based on his ability to rhyme “things” with “things,” he surely has no better than an eighth-grade education, right?

Rock wants us to think he’s some rough-and-tumble country boy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. His childhood home in Macomb County, Michigan recently sold for nearly $1.3 million, which we’re reasonably sure would be enough to buy whole towns around there. It turns out that his dad owned two luxury car dealerships and made some not-insignificant amounts of money.

Romeo High School “Your little rec center shall make a great showroom for our Bentleys. Papa will be most pleased.”

Mr. and Mrs. Rock’s “four-bedroom, four-bath, neo-Georgian colonial house” is over 5,000 square feet, has an indoor Jacuzzi, amenities out the wazoo, and the property itself contains an apple orchard. Rock has tried to flaunt his down-home country style and use it to smear politicians as “out of touch.” That doesn’t have the same gravity now that we know his past.

Adam Serwer/Twitter That’s a sad burger for so many reasons.

Rapper Rick Ross Was A Prison Guard

Florida rapper Rick Ross is best known for his songs about nonstop hustling and pushing it to the limit (“it” being all of the drugs). Hell, he got his name from a drug kingpin. That’s why it was kind of a shocker when it came out that Ross was a corrections officer (read: prison guard) prior to getting into the rap game.

After the story broke about his previous life of literally the opposite of crime, Ross originally denied it, but somehow the media managed to get ahold of pay stubs that proved it. For about two years in the mid-’90s, he worked as a CO in Florida. Granted, that makes him more of a badass than being a CO in, say, Terre Haute, Indiana, but it didn’t help his street cred any.

Florida Department of Corrections, Maybach Music Group His earliest songs were about how much he hated that Urkel kid who kept visiting his house.

Even 50 Cent took a jab at Ross in a rap to point out how dumb it was for Rozay to keep acting like he was something he wasn’t. After all, if you’re only learning about smuggling drugs and weapons from someone else’s case file instead of doing it yourself, can you sincerely say your raps come from the heart?

Probably thanks to some magical PR whiz, Ross finally owned up to his past. Rather than dismiss his old job as some kind of phase, he managed to call it a “hustle” in its own right. (We’re beginning to think that absolutely anything can be a hustle as long as one declares it so.)

Ron Jeremy Was A Special Education Teacher

Lots of people watch porn — about 67 percent of you are only reading this while you wait for some to load. Even the “casual” viewer can probably name a fair number of lady porn stars, but for some reason, about the only male porn actor most people can identify is Ron Jeremy. He’s been the mustachioed face of videotaped boning for decades, but believe it or not, that wasn’t really his Plan A.

On an episode of Judge Pirro, Jeremy admitted that his background was in theater, and that he’d gone on to get a master’s degree in special education. As in working with disabled kids.

Jeremy is happy to talk about his educator past, and always considered his teaching degree his fallback option, or “ace in the hole” (that’s probably not the only thing he’s called that). He majored in theater in college, and much like theater majors of today, he went and tacked on an education degree “just in case.”