#hourly hydration reminder

[critterbitter]

Ingo, being partnered to a fire type, is actually very comfortable in the heat.

Elesa and Emmet on the other hand, suffer.

Welcome to the desert kiddos! (That rock Ingo picked up sure looks familiar…

…naaah.)

Masterpost for more shenanigans!

[bread-and-roses-too]

Demonizing menstruation doesn't help spread information, mysticizing menstruation doesn't help spread information. Going completely neutral is the only way forward.

Periods are an expulsion of waste. They're no more gross than pissing is. The social etiquette of "excuse me I have to go to the bathroom" shouldn't change because someone puts a pad in their pocket before they head off.

Period blood is blood, along with endometrial cells. It isn't more dangerous or gross than the blood that comes out of a wound. It should be treated with the same level of caution because of the potential for disease transmission, but it's not some toxic sludge that you're going to die from looking at wrong. If blood gets on a nonporous surface a simple antibacterial wipe will remove it and prevent the spread of most potential diseases. For a porous surface like fabric soap and water may be enough, or hydrogen peroxide if the stain is stubborn. More careful steps may need to be taken if the blood may or does contain HIV, but it's important to remember that HIV can only be contracted by blood-to-blood contact or sex. Blood from a person with HIV isn't that much more dangerous than regular blood, just try not to touch blood directly in general and wash your hands correctly after handling soiled objects and you'll be fine.

Periods are not your body "punishing you" for not being pregnant. Your body is just a container for you, it doesn't have any feelings that you don't have. If you don't want kids but feel guilty about not having them, it is not your uterus making you feel guilt. That's you being reminded by your period to feel guilt because you were conditioned growing up to view everyone with a uterus as valuable only in terms of their ability and desire to carry children. Anthropomorphizing the function of your reproductive system is the way you deal with the guilt of not living up to your societal "purpose" of bearing children. Everyone who doesn't have kids, has kids late, or has a journey regarding children that's different from the societal norm deals with that to a certain extent, although people who were raised as girls/women tend to deal with it more. It's a line of thinking that you will likely need to work through, either alone or with a sympathetic therapist, in order to be content. Also, if your periods feel like a punishment that could be a sign that something is wrong.

Periods aren't supposed to disable you. Cramping should be at a "oops I ate something that didn't quite settle with me" level not a "cosplaying as a wounded animal" level. You should be able to pop your over-the-counter pain medication of choice and not have to think about the fact that you're on your period aside from the occasional bathroom trip to change your menstrual product. Bleeding through pads or tampons on an hourly basis isn't normal. Fainting from blood loss or pain isn't normal. Being unable to complete daily tasks, or completing them with difficulty, due to pain is not normal. Nausea or vomiting that interferes with your ability to stay fed and hydrated isn't normal.

Irregular periods can be normal, some people just don't get periods on a consistent schedule. Going more than 35 days between can be a sign that something is wrong. Going more than 90 days without a period, sometimes called "losing" your period, can be a sign that something is wrong. If you don't want to have a period, forcing yourself to "lose" it through starvation, overexercise, or stress is not a safe way to do it. These behaviors can have other long-term consequences, including premature death. Hormonal birth control can be taken consistently, skipping periods, with no excess effect on fertility or personal health that we're aware of.

Emotionality is normal before and during your period. Crying at a cat video that you would normally scroll past without thinking is normal. It's ok to be frustrated with emotionality, it can be annoying to feel out of control. It's also ok to withdrawal from others for a short time when you feel unable to socialize. Panic attacks, depression, sleep disturbances, loss of interest, and other major mood disturbances are not normal and can be a sign of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). PMDD is as serious as other depressive disorders and can lead to suicide.

Your reproductive system isn't self-contained, it's connected to the rest of your body via blood supply and other mechanisms. Even if you plan to have a hysterectomy or other permanent birth control at some point it's still important to get "period problems" checked out to ensure the rest of your body isn't affected.

People deal with their periods how they deal with them and it's none of anyone's business. Someone isn't lazy for not feeling up to activities during their period. People who eat junk food on their period aren't "making themselves feel worse". Judging someone's choice in menstrual products is so fucking weird and rude, yes I am judging you back. People who skip their periods using birth control (hi!) aren't ruining their bodies with chemicals. People who choose not to use birth control or don't use it for that purpose aren't choosing to suffer for no reason. People are infinitely complex in the ways they choose to deal with inconvenience and challenge and tearing each other down for not being the same is unproductive. Period stigma can only end when we work together, trans and cis, intersex and dyadic, all gender presentations, races, sizes, and abilities, to make it work.

In the theme of the last paragraph, if anything in this post is incorrect or uninclusive, please let me know and I'll fix it asap.

[image ID: a banner that reads "TERFs and SWERFs DNI].

[impossiblesuitcase]

in the Kaider relationship who’s the hydrated one and who literally never drinks anything ever?

Kai is hydrated because he's had Nainsi bringing him tea at hourly increments his whole life.

Cinder was working all day in her booth and would get so laser-focused on her work that she'd forget to drink until Iko would remind her to.

Now, Kai brings drinks to her office when he knows she'll forget, so it all balances out.

[tamamita]

you sure reblog that small tiddied catgirl who likes water a lot

Yes, I do! Hourly reminders by Mio to stay hydrated!

[respectthepetty]

Since I decided the best way to make it through Our Skyy 2 with minimal damage is to drink my way through it, welcome to the sixth round of

CockTails in the Skyy!

This week's drink is Deja Brew since we just saw this group six days ago:

dark coffee for our "tough" boss

vanilla brandy for the boss's babe

soy milk and ice for the men holding it together Tubtab and Jack

whipped cream and chocolate shavings for the disgustingly sweet Three and Zo

I don't like coffee, I didn't like the series, and I don't think I'll like this, but I like brandy, I'm obsessed with how Cher says "Boss" and anything that gets me more ThreeZo and Jack is worth watching.

Bottoms up!

What in the Tom, Dick, and Harry is happening?!

Call him honey, darling, or DADDY! <- Aoi gets it!

Cher feeding Gun who has a visible mustache shadow is hitting a sweet spot.

This is what upsets me - JimmySea and ForceBook have the domestic chemistry down. They excel at, yet had the wildest plots to work with. I hope Last Twilight and Only Friends do these men justice.

The yellow writing that keeps popping up is throwing me off.

Nice to see the wild ass color scheme is still going strong here, Reon!

The friend group is the reason I showed up every week!

Zo threatening his man while smiling is why I love him the most-est.

Cher made that imaginary intern very cute, but we all know Gun, who doesn't like skinship, would not touch that man like that.

Aoi getting more screen time this outing makes me upset that I didn't get MORE of her in the series. She was the best officemate.

I wonder how the office feels about Cher being ridiculous during office hours when he doesn't even work there. I'd be entertained, honestly, because I love other people's drama.

Okay, this is the tough boss I waited to see the entire series! Where was this jerk for twelve episodes?!

The entire office is really asking Cher to get his man together before they Julius Caesar his ass.

Cher constantly wearing Gun's colors is warming my ice cold heart.

I would love to believe that Gun doing 500 sit-ups is unrealistic, but then I remember Force's body-ody-ody and . . . do what you gotta do to maintain, sir.

I've written this before, but Force looks like a marble statue, and I need him to be in a BL about gym bros. Book can play the guy looking to get fit, and Force can be his trainer. Don't let those arm veins go to waste, GMMTV!

Gun is smiling like a ventriloquist, and it's creepy af.

Y'all, I'm really liking this installment. It's the Vice Versa one all over again. What are they going to do to eff this up?

Cher to Gun - "Are you finished or are you done?"

Why is everyone acting sus at this dinner?

I'm clutching my pearls that Cher's bright idea was to have Three and Zo fight.

I'm so conflicted. I want to be upset, but now Gun just gave Cher jewelry! Then Gun was cocky, and Cher slapped him on the ass. I like this.

The Deja Brew has too much caffeine and I feel my heart beating (I don't like reminders that I have a heart), so I'm gonna be a sober seahorse for the second episode. I'm already regretting this.

Moving into Cher's tiny apartment with this small tub thing instead of Gun's apartment with that huge ass tub was a dumb decision.

Every part of me hopes Gun acts just as amusing as Cher in the office.

Deadass, if I worked in this office with a boss whose boyfriend was this entertaining, I would be thriving. I would never have to drink another drop of water because these antics would keep me hydrated.

Jack has no fucks to give about this role-play situation unfolding during his billable hours.

Did this man have confetti in his pocket for this exact moment?! I'm telling you that I'd be living my best life in this office!

If I was that security guard, I would NOT have paid that 80 baht for Gun. Boss man does not need my hourly wage.

You'd be a custard apple or a pomegranate cause you're being extra! <-I'm using this because I love good commentary about *fruits*

I can't keep writing this, but I genuinely like this! Cher slamming his hand on the table and Gun immediately babying him. Urgh! I'm pleased!

This is giving me What's Wrong with Secretary Kim vibes.

Something keeps happening with the lighting to make the guys seem angelic, and I want to know what pressure the lighting department was under to make this work under these conditions.

I have been a vegetarian for over two decades, yet my meat-eating friends are the picky eaters, so I pop off like Gun just did every time I have to order them food. Why is the order so complicated?! Why three different places?!

Gun having printer and copier issues is the office drama I crave.

"That last sentence was lit." - GMMTV's translators deserve a raise.

Oh my gosh! WHERE IS PORSCHE?!

Aoi gets where I'm coming from. She is not going to let her boss and his boyfriend ruin her happiness. In fact, she embraces the chaos.

Cher is playing with Gun's face, and I'm going to fully admit that I liked this entire installment. They even exchanged colors!

The game idea is actually kinda okay-ish.

This role-playing unlocked a kink in Gun because now he wants to receive and give regularly-scheduled commands. Okay, sir, I see you.

Cher's shirt reads "Error Since Birth" and I LOVE IT!

I'm shocked and appalled about what I'm about to do. I thought I was going to be upset watching this, but I really enjoyed it. The color-coding (that I hated during the show) was consistent here unlike the other previous installments (Vice Versa, The Eclipse, and My School President), the repartee between Cher and Gun never missed, and their chemistry was good as usual. There was no Porsche, we didn't find out about Jack's previous relationship, and I'm pissed we didn't get THIS during the actual series, so . . .

8/10 CockTails for giving me most of what I wanted long after I wanted it.

Now, BRING ME MY SLUTS!

And before anyone asks, I'm in a long-term committed relationship with Pat's hair. That's how much I love it.

[reminders-to-drink-water]

Welcome to reminders to drink water! I post hourly reminders to drink water for those who struggle to remember. I might occasionally throw in other self care reminders, but mostly water.

I post at all hours of the day so no matter what timezone you're in, don't worry. I'll be posting.

Using the asks, please feel free (and encouraged) to send hydration memes, ask for tips on staying hydrated, and anything else related to drinking water.

Follow if you want to add hydration reminders to your dash, and reblog to remind your followers too!

[drppraveenraj]

What Measures Are Taken to Prevent Dehydration After Hernia Surgery?

When undergoing hernia surgery in Chennai, it's essential to follow specific measures to ensure a smooth recovery. One crucial aspect is preventing dehydration, which can occur post-surgery due to factors like anesthesia, reduced fluid intake, or medications. Dr. P. Praveen Raj, a hernia specialist at GEM Hospital, provides a comprehensive guide to help patients avoid dehydration after surgery.

For more information about hernia surgery in Chennai, you can click here. It’s also recommended to visit GEM Hospital for any questions or concerns.

Why Is Preventing Dehydration Important After Hernia Surgery?

Dehydration can significantly affect the recovery process after surgery. Without proper hydration, your body may not heal as efficiently, leading to complications like infections, delayed wound healing, or even kidney issues. Ensuring you stay hydrated helps flush out toxins, supports muscle function, and regulates body temperature, which are all critical for recovery.

How Does Hernia Surgery Increase the Risk of Dehydration?

Several factors increase the risk of dehydration post-hernia surgery, including:

Use of Anesthesia: Anesthesia can slow down bodily functions, leading to reduced fluid consumption and dehydration.

Reduced Fluid Intake: Post-surgery, patients might avoid drinking fluids due to nausea or fear of discomfort.

Medications: Certain medications, such as painkillers or diuretics, can contribute to fluid loss.

Key Measures to Prevent Dehydration After Hernia Surgery

Dr. P. Praveen Raj outlines the following important measures to prevent dehydration and ensure a smooth recovery after surgery:

1. Stay Hydrated with Clear Liquids

After hernia surgery, it’s vital to maintain proper hydration by drinking clear fluids such as water, broth, and electrolyte drinks. Avoid sugary or caffeinated beverages as they can contribute to dehydration. Aim to sip fluids regularly throughout the day to keep your body hydrated.

2. Monitor Fluid Intake

Tracking your fluid intake is key to ensuring you stay hydrated. Dr. Praveen Raj suggests keeping a daily record of your water consumption to ensure you're drinking an adequate amount. A general guideline is to aim for at least 8 to 10 glasses of water a day unless instructed otherwise by your doctor.

3. Avoid Alcohol and Caffeine

Alcohol and caffeine can dehydrate your body, so it’s best to avoid these beverages during recovery. Stick to water, herbal teas, and clear soups to promote hydration and support your body’s healing process.

4. Eat Water-Rich Foods

Incorporate foods high in water content, such as fruits like watermelon, oranges, and cucumbers, into your post-surgery diet. These can help replenish lost fluids and keep you hydrated without relying solely on beverages.

5. Use Oral Rehydration Solutions if Needed

In some cases, your doctor may recommend oral rehydration solutions (ORS) to restore lost electrolytes and fluids. These solutions are especially helpful if you experience nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea post-surgery.

6. Monitor for Signs of Dehydration

It’s important to be aware of the symptoms of dehydration, which include dry mouth, dizziness, dark-colored urine, and fatigue. If you notice any of these signs, increase your fluid intake immediately and consult with your doctor if symptoms persist.

7. Gradually Return to Regular Diet

As your recovery progresses, Dr. Praveen Raj advises gradually reintroducing solid foods and maintaining proper hydration. Start with soft, easy-to-digest meals and continue drinking water to aid digestion and support your overall recovery.

Practical Tips for Maintaining Hydration Post-Surgery

To further ensure you remain hydrated during your recovery from hernia surgery, consider these additional practical tips:

Set Reminders: Set hourly reminders on your phone or device to drink water.

Carry a Water Bottle: Keep a bottle of water nearby to remind you to stay hydrated throughout the day.

Flavor Your Water: If plain water feels unappealing, try adding natural flavorings such as lemon or cucumber slices to make it more enjoyable.

Conclusion: Stay Hydrated for a Smooth Recovery

Dehydration is a common but preventable complication after hernia surgery. By following Dr. P. Praveen Raj’s advice on proper hydration and fluid intake, patients can ensure a smoother recovery. Remember, staying hydrated is essential for healing, reducing the risk of complications, and helping you get back to your regular activities faster.

[likitakans]

Desk Exercises: Boost Your Health Right at Your Workspace! 🏋️‍♂️💼

Many of us spend hours upon hours glued to our desks in today's hectic work environment. Even though leading a sedentary lifestyle can have negative effects on our health, desk exercises can significantly improve your daily routine. Here's how to maintain your energy and fitness levels without having to leave your desk! 🚀

Why Desk Exercises Matter 🏃‍♀️��

Prolonged sitting can cause a number of health problems, such as bad posture, back pain, and an increased risk of developing chronic illnesses. Desk workouts provide a workable way to address these issues. They enhance general wellbeing, lessen muscular stiffness, and increase circulation. Plus, they can be done in short bursts, making them perfect for busy professionals!

Top Desk Exercises to Keep You Moving 🌟

1. Chair Squats 🪑🔄

Raising yourself out of your chair, return to your seat without really touching it. Repeat ten to fifteen times to activate your glutes and legs. This exercise increases circulation and strengthens the lower body.

2. Desk Push-Ups 🖥️💪

Put your hands on the edge of your desk, take a step back with your feet, and execute push-ups. Try to complete 10–12 repetitions. Desk push-ups are great for strengthening your arms, chest, and shoulders.

3. Seated Leg Raises 🦵⬆️

One leg should be straight out while seated, held for a short while, and then lowered back down. Ten to fifteen repetitions per leg. This exercise strengthens your legs and works your quadriceps.

4. Neck Stretches 🧘‍♂️🔄

Gently tilt your head towards your shoulder and hold for 10 seconds. Repeat on the other side. Perform 3-4 reps. Neck stretches help relieve tension and prevent stiffness.

5. Seated Torso Twist 🔄🏋️‍♀️

Sit up straight, place your hands behind your head, and twist your torso to one side. Hold for a few seconds, then twist to the other side. Repeat 10 times on each side. This exercise enhances spinal mobility and core strength.

6. Calf Raises 🦵⬆️

Stand up and raise your heels off the ground, then lower them back down. Perform 15-20 reps. Calf raises improve circulation and strengthen your lower legs.

7. Wrist and Finger Stretches ✋👐

Extend your arm in front of you, palm up, and gently pull back your fingers with your other hand. Hold for 10 seconds and switch hands. Repeat 3-4 times. These stretches help prevent wrist and hand strain.

Tips for Incorporating Desk Exercises 📝✔️

Set Reminders ⏰: Use your phone or computer to set hourly reminders to move and stretch.

Mix It Up 🎉: Vary your exercises to keep things interesting and target different muscle groups.

Stay Hydrated 💧: Drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep your body functioning optimally.

Ergonomic Workspace 🖥️: Ensure your desk and chair are set up to promote good posture and reduce strain.

Mindful Breathing 🌬️: Practice deep breathing exercises to reduce stress and improve focus.

Conclusion 🌟

Incorporating desk exercises into your daily routine is a fantastic way to stay active and healthy, even with a busy schedule. These simple movements can help alleviate the negative effects of prolonged sitting and keep you feeling energized throughout the day. So, take a break, move a little, and prioritize your health right at your desk! 🌟💼💪

Remember, a little movement goes a long way. Embrace these desk exercises and transform your workday into a healthier, more productive experience! 🌟✨🏋️‍♂️

[waterfiltergurus]

A Registered Dietician's 6 Tips for Drinking More Water

Water is essential for life and is used by your body for a variety of basic bodily functions including regulation of body temperature. Even though many of know this, it's easy to forget to drink water. For this article, we will briefly explore the most practical and easy tips to help you stay on top of it and reap the numerous benefits of adequate hydration. 1. Carry a reusable water bottle Purchasing a reusable bottle is a simple, effective way to ensure you have water conveniently by your side throughout the day. You can bring it to work, running errands, hitting the gym, and more. Just make sure you keep your water bottles filled. Having a water bottle by your side throughout the day serves as a reminder to stay hydrated. There are a variety of water bottles available on the market that can fit a variety of preferences (size, color etc.). Not only that, some water bottles have volume markers to help you track your fluid intake throughout the day! 2. Set a schedule With how busy life gets, setting specific times to drink water can help you establish a nice hydration routine. For example, you could consider including water breaks into a daily schedule or better yet make sure you drink a glass of water before each meal. It may also help you to set hourly reminders on your phone or watch. This structured approach helps make hydration a regular habit. 3. Infuse your water with flavor Sometimes, plain water is also plain boring! Instead of grabbing sugary sports drinks or other beverages, spice it up by infusing your water with fruit and herbs. Sometimes adding slices of cucumber, mint, ginger, or berries can add some flavor without adding a ton of added calories or artificial sweeteners. It also may help you stay away from sugary drinks. Experimenting with these different combinations can be also be quite fun. 4. Use a water tracking app It may also be challenging to stay on top of hydration when you're not sure how much you should drink. Try out using an app on your phone or smart watch that helps you track your water intake. It can help you set daily goals, set reminders and monitor progress. This can be a different, but fun interactive way to stay hydrated since it may also motivate you to reach your daily fluid needs. 5. Drink sparkling or mineral water Similar to adding infusing your water with fruit to add flavor to your water, sparkling water might be just what you need to keep water enticing! Particularly if you're trying to replace soda, but miss the carbonation, sparkling water can be incorporated to help you reduce your sugary beverage intake but also stay on top of daily hydration. 5. Eat water-rich foods In addition to drinking water, you can boost your hydration by incorporating water-rich foods into your diet. Fruits and vegetables like watermelon, cucumber, celery, and oranges have high water content, contributing to your overall fluid intake. Snacking on these foods is not only tasty but also a smart and healthy way to stay hydrated. 6. Make it a social activity Staying hydrated can be a team effort. Encourage your friends, family, or colleagues to join you in drinking more water. Having a hydration buddy can provide motivation and make the process more enjoyable. You can even turn it into a friendly competition to see who can meet their daily water goals first. More drinking water tips: - The Definitive Guide to Hydration for a Healthier You - What a Nutritionist Says About Drinking Water During Fasting - How Much Water You Really Need Daily, Plus a Calculator Conclusion Incorporating these tips into your daily routine can make a significant impact on your overall health and well-being. Remember, staying hydrated is a lifestyle choice that results in increased energy, improved focus, and better overall health. So, grab that water bottle, set your goals, and embark on a journey to a more hydrated and healthier you! Read the full article

[accesshealthcarephysicians]

Stay Hydrated Your Daily Life-tip - Access Health Care Physicians, LLC

If it's difficult for you to reach your daily water intake, include some water-rich foods in your diet. To meet your daily water requirement and stay hydrated, setting hourly reminders can be helpful.

[sun-critrole]

Okay I know we all saw Matt's tweet about taking the c2 finale in smaller chunks and went "nah imma watch that shit all the way through to 5am"

BUT there are some ways you can self care while still watching live!

Moderate amounts of caffeine. A medium sized amount will be helpful in staying awake, but a large amount will make you jittery. Start small and add more if you feel like you need it.

Stand up and stretch. Once an hour, or every thirty minutes, stand up and put your hands over your head. Stretch your back out - I know you're gonna be hunched over a screen!

Stay Hydrated. Water! If you really can't stand drinking water, get some Gatorade or something with electrolytes in it. Drink at least every time you stretch, and more throughout.

Bring snacks. Try to have a selection of sugar/carbs and something with some protein in it. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Nut butter is great!

Take your meds, if you are prescribed them.

Avoid any mind altering substances you are not prescribed - especially if you're watching alone. Lack of sleep + alcohol or another mind altering substance will just make you even more uuuuugggghhhhh the next day.

Check in with friends. Have someone that you can text or DM if you start feeling like you're gonna fall asleep. Or, someone to tell you it's okay to tap out.

Finally, pace yourself the next day. Work and life don't stop on Friday, so be as kind to yourself as possible.

If you would like hourly reminders on your dash to stretch and grab a drink, I will be posting some that are already queued up (no spoilers!). Follow the tag #crselfcare to see those!

[chibinightowl]

This is for everyone who begged for more pumpkin concussed Tim and Jason.

Part 1 Part 2

Tim is slow to regain consciousness despite the insistent prodding and coaxing. None of the words make sense and that in and of itself is annoying because he prides himself on being able to at least identify a language, even if he can't speak it.

Grumbling, he bats at the person who keeps poking his cheek. His head hurts enough, he doesn't need to add another bruise to the mix.

"Wakey, wakey, Timbers."

The words suddenly make sense, and the voice...

Tim blinks, eyelids heavy as he tries to haul himself away from the clutches of slumber. "J-Jay?" he manages through dry lips.

What is Jason doing here? For that matter, where are they? He's comfortable, wherever that is.

The finger poking his face stops and the touch turns into a caress. "Hey, sleeping beauty. Nice to see you answering me finally. Time for your hourly check-in."

Wah?

The inside of his mouth might as well be a desert. Tim tries to work some saliva, but the effort is just too much.

Or it is until something cold and wet brushes his lips. "Ice chips," Jason says. "You've been mouth-breathing, so open up."

The relief is instantaneous and Tim eagerly opens his mouth for another.

Jason chuckles. "Clone-boy and I got you moved to your med-bay earlier. We bandaged you up, then hooked up an IV to keep you hydrated. Alfred brought over the good stuff to add to the bag, so you don't have to try and swallow a horse-pill."

The good stuff?

"Wah--Wha happened?" The effort to even speak, let alone enunciate is exhausting.

Kon is here too? Or was here? It's hard to remember anything. Everything feels like gloopy honey in his head.

"Don't you remember?" There's a teasing note to Jason's voice.

Tim manages to drag open his eyes enough to glare. Jason is blur beside him.

Wait... Beside him? That means Jason's on the bed.

Huh, that explains why he feels all nice and warm. They never cuddle after their activities upstairs are over. Which is a shame because this feels really nice.

"Heh, guess not." Jason brushes Tim's cheek again. "Concussed by pumpkin. Does that ring a bell?"

A deluge of memories come flooding in, all of which involve pumpkins of various shapes and colors being chucked right at him.

Oh.

Tim sighs and curls up against Jason as much as his IV will allow. The movement causes a brief flash of pain that vanishes almost instantly. "Pumpkins suck," he manages.

Above him, Jason chuckles again. "They sure do. By the way," he pauses and Tim instantly wants to brace himself because whatever is coming next won't be good for what reminds of his pride. "Your super-clone saw all the pumpkin guts on you earlier when he came to check out your skull. Said he'll be back this afternoon to get the full story outta ya."

"Of course he does." Tim closes his eyes and buries his face into Jason's side. "He sucks too."

"He's your boytoy, I thought that was part of the job."

Yawning, Tim almost misses Jason's words. "'s'not my boyfriend," he answers, sleep dragging him under yet again. "You are."

[lonelypond]

Parent Trap, Ch. 8

NicoMaki, NozoEli, Love Live, 3K, 8/?

A chapter full of conversations.

And We Talk

Clack...clack, light but solid, bamboo striking bamboo, Nico sliding closer to Umi, the pace of her blows picking up, as Umi manuevered her sword to parry, easily absorbing the increasingly frantic energy Nico forced into each strike. Sensing Nico’s flagging stamina, Umi dropped to one knee, rising with a strike that forced Nico to block behind her, Umi’s blade sliding off, and Nico leaping into a overhand strike, which Umi parried and then forced Nico’s sword down.

“So are you going to tell me now why you’re paying me three times my normal rate to choreograph a fight scene for you.”

Nico stepped back, freeing her sword, then attacking again, sliding forward, dodging to the side, pushing back, but found Umi always there to calmly parry.

“It’s like a dance.” Nico struck Umi’s sword rapidly and repeatedly as she slid to the right, then pushed forward, Umi responding to each movement.

“Perhaps.” Umi held up a hand, “Let’s take a water break.”

“If you need one. Nico’s fine.”

Umi raised an eyebrow at the obvious sweat rolling down Nico’s face. Nico scowled as she swiped a forearm over her forehead. “It’s hot in here.”

“You were too hasty. I prefer to work at half speed to perfect techniques.”

“Nico needed a workout.”

Umi chuckled, “My training dummy rates are much cheaper than even my stunt choreography hourly.”

Nico grabbed her water bottle, “Ha! Nico will pay both.”

Umi watched, concerned. She didn’t know Nico that well, but something was obviously disturbing her. Nico sat on the bench, slumping forward, head hanging down, more than physical exhaustion weighting her.

“Hypothetically…” Nico began.

“Yes?”

“Let’s say you were a guy and you found out you had a child you didn’t know about.” Nico glanced up, her ruby eyes challenging Umi to flinch, but Umi remained solid. “What would you do?”

“Everything I could to help the mother.”

“Just like that.”

Umi shrugged, “If I had a child, I would have had a committed relationship with the mother of the child. If she chose not to include me at first, but then later reached out, that does nothing to change my responsibility as a parent or my affection as a…” Umi stumbled, Nico leaned forward, curious. Umi had always been almost prudish about her relationship with Kotori, “a former paramor.”

“No one night stands.”

“No.”

Nico raised her water bottle in a salute.

“Is this about Maki?”

“I thought you didn’t spend time on TWIG?”

“Kotori does.”

“Nico knew that. What does she think?”

“You never looked like you had baby weight. And she wants to design you a dress.”

“We’ll talk. And not hypothetically, like Nico’s question.”

Umi did a slow sword sequence as she considered how to continue the conversation. “What does this hypothetical guy want?”

“Romance, love, being there...the complete package. ” Nico was slumped again.

“Can’t Maki be part of the complete package?”

Nico glared. “It’s not that easy. Everything’s backwards. Nico’s backwards.”

Umi, not letting Nico look away, went through a series of movements that made Umi look like a river rolling along in its bed, graceful, surging, continuing. “Some things are just natural, Nico.”

“Not with everyone who has a phone and the TWIG app watching.”

Umi settled into ready pose. “So close the app. Step off the stage. Seize the opportunity.”

Nico had her sword in both hands, “Opportunity?”

“Yes.”

“Nico’s not sure. Last time Nico checked it was a locked door. No knocking. No open window. No welcome mat.”

“And you gave up?" Umi chuckled, "Doesn’t sound like Nico.”

“No.” Nico slid into attack position, shoulders squared. “It doesn’t.”

And the dance began.

###

Nico was showered, locked in the Ayase-Tojo spare room, and ready to get back into the conversation. Texting. Sexting. Remind Maki of the good things. The sexy things. The fun things. The Nico things.

N: Nico misses seeing your nightly pajama snaps.

M: Dia’s been throwing up all day.

So sexting out, sympathetic in. At least Maki was texting. And mentioning Dia instead of aggressively avoiding the name.

N: Can Nico help?

M: Don’t distract me while I’m trying to watch a using your washing machine tutorial. Laundry is not in the nanny’s job description.

N: You don’t know how to do laundry...it’s easy, open the lid, put the clothes in, put detergent somewhere, push a few buttons. Most laundry machines are super instructive.

M: I have to be careful. It’s Dia’s things. Mama didn’t pack enough for throwing up. And Dia threw up in the bag. She didn’t like the car ride. Or lunch.

N: Is she allergic to something? Are you keeping her hydrated?

M: I know how to take care of my daughter.

N: Right, Dr. Maki.

M: ಠಿ_ಠ

N: I’m sure the laundry will be fine. Text Nico sometime (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

M: (🖒^^)b

###

Maki had finally gotten Dia to sleep, put on some Chopin, and collapsed into the couch when there was a thud at the door. She pulled herself up by the couch arm to see Raye standing there, coat and hat on, headphones off for once, and her backpack on the floor.

“My ride’s here.” Raye announced.

“Your ride?”

“Dr. Nishikino agreed that I could take my month’s leave now.”

“What do you mean?” The panic in her own voice was grating.

Raye made a skutching noise, “I’m a live in nanny in Chicago, with a personal chef on call, not a Cheesehead hostage eating frozen pizza two meals a day.” An eyeroll and a gesture toward upstairs,”I said goodbye to Dia.”

“You can’t leave...I don’t…”

“You’ll be okay, Maki. You’re a mom. Moms know what to do.”

Was there some kind of Mom superpowers that kicked in when you were alone with your child? Maki had never been alone with Dia without someone in shouting distance. Everyone she trusted was five hours away.

###

#Nico was trending. Just #Nico, not #ThatKillerSmile. Pics of her and Umi sparring, Nico’s kiss on Umi’s cheek when she said goodbye...whoever took that had a top tier zoom lens. Influencers were reposting older pics.

Nico’s phone pinged. Tsubasa. Nico picked up.

“Hey, how’s the tour?”

“Finished. Back in Chicago. Throwing a rave Wednesday. Drop by.”

“Nico will be in bed by six. Shooting for the video the next day.”

“Too bad. You could have brought Maki and hung out with Honoka.”

“Oh, Honoka, huh?”

“Yeah, she’s great. We’re really having fun. And no pressure.”

“Good for you. But Maki’s in Wisconsin anyway. Staying away from snap crazy stalkers.”

“Oh.”

That was a tone.

“Oh?”

“That’s the other reason I called. Some PR firm offered A-Rise a lot of money to boost pics of you with anyone but Maki on TWIG.”

Nico felt her lip rise in a sneer as suspicions started to gather. “That’s why Nico’s trending.”

“Probably.”

“Do you know who?”

“I texted Cocoro their name. Turns out they represent, among other clients, the Nishikino Medical Group.”

A shrewd, calculated move. Nico was impressed. And livid. But red hot anger wouldn’t do her any good now. She needed to counter. Or ignore. But she definitely needed to make sure Maki wasn’t thinking she was out there swinging for new partners.

“Nico?”

“Sorry, Nico was thinking. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Cameo in That Killer Smile.”

“You got it. Just not too early in the day. But think about coming to the party. You need some fun too.”

“Maybe Nico will take a nap.”

“Not much else to do with Maki in Wisconsin. Bet you have some good visuals though.” Tsubaba's tone was a conspiracy invitation.

Nico's reply was curt. “We’re done.”

Tsubasa laughed as the call cut.

One, disrespectful. Two, Nico didn’t need to be reminded of how Maki blew everyone else off the hot curve. Nico had to scheme.

###

Lilo and Stitch for the fifth time that day. Maki was about to claw off her ears.

“NICO!”

The Nico cries had stopped until this last viewing. Maki could see Dia was getting tired and cranky. Maki was also getting tired and cranky. Maki checked the time. One a.m. She should have never let Nico get into the habit of singing Dia a lullaby over the phone.

“SING!”

“Nico’s asleep, bun.”

Dia jumped off the couch and raced to the door, “Nico!”

Repetitive firmness was a necessity with Dia. Never retreat from a decision. “It’s time for sleeping, Dia. Nico’s asleep. You should be asleep. Mama is tired.” Talking about herself in the third person. Sure sign of exhaustion. “C’mon, Dia, let’s get your pajamas on and put you in bed.”

“Tsuki!”

Tsuki had fallen behind the couch, Maki picked her up, and Dia ran to grab her, then screamed “Nico Nico Ni!” right in Maki’s face. It took all of Maki’s remaining self control not to react to the volume. She picked up Dia, did a quick visual check of Dia's clothes to make sure there weren’t any closures that might interfere with sleep, grabbed her laptop with her other hand, and marched upstairs. She put Dia down gently, taking extra care not to let her frustration turn into excess energy that would unsettle Dia further.

“Nico!” The demands were getting weaker, Dia would sleep soon if she didn’t kick into tantrum gear.

“We’re going to call her, bun. Just let Mama set this up.”

Maki flipped up her laptop, moved the EFF.org sticker, hit video call. Nico sounded sleepy and had some kind of green goop on her face. Maki just stared for a minute. Nico did the weirdest, cutest things.

“Maki? What’s wrong?”

Maki woke up from her imagining what it would be like to spend the night in Nico's arms, what the green goop would smell like. Avocado probably. “Sing to Dia.”

“What? Did something happened?” Wide awake Nico.

Maki could hear Dia pulling herself up on the crib rail, “NICO!”

“Hi Dia.” Nico waved.

“Look, just sing, make sure she doesn’t fall out of the crib, and text me if she’s not settling down.” Maki let her face relax, knowing she looked exhausted, “I just need a few minutes.”

“Okay, Nico’s on it”

Maki remembered the earlier part of the day. “No Elvis.”

“What?” Nico shook her head, sitting up, setting her phone on her nightstand, “Never mind, just text Nico sometime.”

“Okay.”

“Nico’s got this. Get some air.”

“Thank you.”

“Thanks for calling Nico. I missed seeing your face. Now go look at some stars.” Nico smiled. “Hi Dia. Your pretty mama is going to go look at stars and Nico’s going to teach you her new song.”

“Sing!”

“That’s right. You’re Nico’s first audience. So pay attention.”

Dia had settled back down. Maki put the laptop at a level where Dia could see Nico through the crib bars and as Nico started singing, backed quietly out of the room.

###

Stars. Inhale. Cold air. No sense of time passing. Maki half dozing, maybe actually asleep for an hour or two. Nico was keeping an eye on Dia. That was a calming thought. Was that good? Maki realized she only had vague panic flashes of her last IRL encounter with Nico, Eli calling and saying something about Nozomi and paperwork and then fear kicking in. Maki didn’t have the mental bandwidth for any news that might trigger another explosion of emotion so talking to Eli was going to have to be another day thing. She reached into her pocket for her phone, to check notifications. A message from her mother, probably about Raye; Eli, not going to deal with that now; and Honoka. Maki hit play.

“Hey, Maki! Tsubasa’s throwing a huge party and invited you and Nico. So you should really come. It’ll be so much fun. Tsubasa’s gonna have a private karaoke room, and an entire arcade and the best DJ in the world. We gotta hang out.”

Party? Why hadn’t Nico mentioned it? Maki flicked over to TWIG, searching #NICO...Nico kissing Umi on the cheek, Nico with her arms around a group of scantily dressed women, Nico at a concert, leaning down into the crowd, Nico writing her phone number on a barista’s stomach…

Maki hit call, “What the hell are you doing?’

Nico sounded sleepy. “Maki?!!?!”

“Yes, Maki, your girlfriend, not that that barista would know that when she called you.”

“What barista? Maki, what’s going on? I just got Dia to sleep. She’s so cute.”

“We got invited to a party and you didn’t tell me.”

“DId Tsubasa call you?” Nico’s question was sharp.

“No, Honoka.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind. Tsubasa and Nico have different opinions on dating.”

“Does yours include giving random women your phone number. And why are you kissing Umi?”

“Slow down. Let Nico catch up.” A pause, “Dia’s still sleeping calmly. Nico does an excellent lullaby. Now what did you do?”

“Searched TWIG to see what you were up to.” Saying it out loud, Maki felt a bit sheepish.

“Cyber stalking Nico. Classy.” Nico hummed, obviously searching through pics. “The Umi kiss was friendly, the barista pic is Photoshopped, and Nico is at home in bed and has been since 7 p.m. getting her beauty sleep before a video shoot at 5 in the morning.” An inhale, “And why you’re seeing pics of Nico with everyone else in the universe is because your parents PR firm is paying influencers to flood the algorithim with pics of Nico and anyone but you.”

“They’re not.”

“They are. A-Rise got approached. Nico has receipts. I can forward you emails.”

Maki was silent.

“And the reason there aren’t pics of us is because you’re in Wisconsin at an undisclosed location because your parents think Nico is going to steal you.”

“I don’t care what my parents think.” Maki felt pressured, with a sudden urge to bolt for the woods.

“If that’s true then why are you in Wisconsin?” Nico sounded annoyed.

“Just shut up for a minute…”

Silence. Maki heard what she’d snapped at Nico echo.

“Good night, Maki.”

“Wait, Nico, I just…”

Call ended. Maki leaned forward, fingertips barely clinging to her phone. How did this work? How exactly did this happen? What had Eli said?

###

“Oh, hi, Maki…” Eli was on the couch, eating chocolate ice cream and watching a production of Swan Lake.

“Why did you call?”

“What did Nico tell you?”

“We're not talking about Nico, Eli.” Maki’s voice had no chill. “Paperwork. Nozomi. What did that mean?”

“Ummm…” No matter how much Eli had rehearsed this in her head, telling Maki was not easy. She glanced toward the door of the spare room. Nico had gone to bed hours ago because of an early set call. So no interruptions. “When I started working on the procedures, Nico was the first person I asked to help. Nico’s always the first person I ask when I need any kind of help. She’s amazing.”

Eli had expected some response from Maki, but no, just waiting, judging silence.

“Okay…” Eli coughed nervously, "So Nico donated eggs, but absolutely refused to be an anonymous donor. She wanted a family but not until she met someone she wanted to marry and was ready to stop touring as much as she had been. So I banked most of her eggs and used the rest in my early tests.”

“So Nico wasn’t just an anonymous donor?”

“No.” Eli laughed, “She was very clear about no little Nico’s running around without her knowing about it. She’s furious right now.”

Maki sounded angry. “How did it happen? Did it happen? Is Nico really Dia’s...”

Eli paused Swan Lake, and headed to the freezer to put the ice cream away. Melting chocolate all over the couch was too easy a tease target for Nozomi. “As far as I can unravel, when Nico came back for her ultrasound to make sure everything was okay after the donation, Nozomi was there and altered Nico’s paperwork. So Nico was in the system all the time, but you were the first and only to match.” Eli pondered whether or not making a pot of coffee would be worth it at this hour. She wasn’t sleeping. Not having Nozomi next to her was lonely. But Nozomi was still being infuriatingly disingenuous about the turmoil she’d thrown Nico and Maki and Dia into. “I’ve taken Nico off the donor list now that I know.”

“So it is true…” Maki’s voice was a low whisper, barely heard.

“I’m so sorry about this, Maki, but from what I can tell, Nico is your egg donor.”

And then the roar, “Why would Nozomi do that to Nico? To you? What the hell kind of friend alters your medical paperwork? What kind of wife...how can you...that’s so many kinds of illegal, unethical, just awful, Eli. Why would she do that?"

Eli winced. All of that was true. But she knew that Nozomi really believed she’d had Nico’s best interest at heart.

“I know, Maki. I’m trying to explain it to her, how I would feel if I had missed the twins’ first steps or when they said “Mama”...it’s still so amazing, Maki, to watch them be their own people, but you know that, and Nico missed so much of that with Dia and I’m heartbroken for her, I just can’t bear to think about it, but Nozomi really cares, I promise…”

Maki cut Eli off, voice in efficiency professional mode. “Is Nico okay?”

“I don’t know. She’s super busy. Super busy usually means stressed.” Eli rested her forehead on the refrigerator, “Are you okay?”

Maki made a huffing noise. “I have to go check on Dia.”

“Maki....”

And Eli was alone. Or maybe not.

“Better make that coffee, Eli-chi.” Eli turned, Nozomi stood in the archway, Eli’s robe wrapped around her. “I miss you. I haven’t been listening to what you've been trying to say. Help me fix this, my love.”

Eli was going to cry, Nozomi opened up her arms, and Eli rushed to be held, Nozomi’s fingers in her hair, Nozomi’s sweet, soft voice promising everything would work out.

A/N: Shakespeare season. How you?

[themumfriend]

@jbhoneydew

@peaceloveandjocularity

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