#hot girl shit and called it off and died ? :3

[jacobied]

feeling fucked up tonight<3

[newobsessionweekly]

Aftershock - Office Barbie

Main masterlist | The Rookie masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Tim Bradford x younger!reader

Fandom: The Rookie

Summary: Weeks later, fate (and a lost bet) brings Tim to a community conference—where you just so happen to be the key speaker.

Fluff

Warnings: sexual tension? kissing? not proofread

You didn’t expect to see him again.

Not really. You figured Sergeant Bradford belonged to that weird category of men you clash with once and remember longer than you should. Like a slow burn from a too-hot pan. Irritating, and then it lingers.

Tim wanted to leave the second they walked in.

“You two are evil,” he mutters to Lucy and Angela as they weave through city-funded booths and low-effort posters with cheap pamphlets about green living.

“This is what you get for losing a bet, Bradford,” Lucy chirps.

“I thought the punishment was brunch,” he growls.

Angela grins. “Brunch and an event. That’s how you learn humility.”

Tim’s already working on a plan to fake a phone call when the lights dim and a new voice comes through the speaker system.

Sharp. Confident. Familiar.

He turns his head—and his body goes still.

“Holy shit,” Lucy whispers beside him. “It’s her.”

Angela lifts a brow. “Tell me that’s not your girl from the construction site.”

Tim clenches his jaw. “She’s not my—”

“She called you Grinch,” Lucy interrupts, grinning. “You called her Barbie. And now she’s out here talking about carbon-neutral foundations in heels that could kill a man.”

“I think I love her,” Angela whispers.

“She’s not—” Tim tries again, but his voice dies in his throat as you scroll through your presentation, completely composed. He watches the way you move—elegant, direct, sure of yourself. You don’t look nervous. You look like the stage was built for you. Like the mic came from your purse.

You look… expensive. Like someone who knows how to win a boardroom, a bet, and a man—if you feel like it. Like the version of you he wouldn’t know how to approach, if he hadn’t already seen you in a hard hat and work boots, barking orders at construction workers during an earthquake like it was just another Tuesday.

You don’t dress like this for conferences.

Usually it’s practical shoes, maybe a sleek ponytail, something just polished enough to prove you take yourself seriously, but not too much—so no one calls you “daddy’s little intern” behind your back.

But today?

Today you wear hot pink.

The blazer is tailored, the skirt is short, and the heels are unapologetically sharp. Office Barbie realness. And you own it. You glide across the conference stage with your presentation remote in one hand and a bulletproof smile in place, heart pounding but controlled.

You’ve got this.

You’re talking sustainability in construction—carbon reduction, green infrastructure, water retention—and you know your shit better than half the men in the room who’ve been in the industry twice as long as you’ve been alive.

But then you see him.

Scowling like someone dragged him here against his will, still looking too good in a plain black T-shirt and jeans. And still somehow managing to make his scowl sexy.

You inhale, steady your hands on the remote. You don’t let it show. Not the way your stomach tightens or how your heart does a messy skip at the sight of him. You keep your voice level and your smile unfazed.

Because this isn’t the time. Or the place.

But God, you missed that face.

Tim hears words. He knows you’re talking about sustainability, about long-term environmental impact, about scalable urban design. He even recognizes a few terms. But none of it sticks. All he can focus on is the curve of your mouth when you speak, the fierce spark in your eyes, the way you command the room like you own every inch of it.

He's absolutely screwed.

Lucy elbows him hard. “Close your mouth, Bradford.”

“I’m not—”

“You’re drooling,” Angela stage-whispers.

“I’m going to kill both of you,” he growls.

“You’re welcome,” Lucy sings.

The second you step off stage, the conference organizer pulls you aside. Praise, compliments, the usual. But your eyes keep darting to the back of the room, where the tall, broody one is whispering furiously to his two grinning companions.

“What are you doing?” Tim hisses.

Lucy clasps her hands like a rom-com fairy godmother. “Helping you get laid. Now shut up and be nice.”

Angela tugs her away. “Don’t be a caveman. Go say hi.”

Tim glares after them. But he moves.

God, he looked even better up close. A little scruffier than last time. Brooding. And his eyes—so blue they could knock the wind out of you.

Tim gave you a slow once-over, and that smirk hit.

He stands there, hands in his pockets, the corner of his mouth just barely tipped up. That same annoyingly sexy, broody look on his face. Blue shirt stretched across his shoulders like a sin.

“Office Barbie suits you.”

You roll your eyes—but you’re smiling. “Still calling me that?”

“Still acting like you don’t love it?”

You step closer, arms crossed. “What are you doing here, Grinch?”

“Lost a bet.”

You bite your lip to hold in the laugh. “That explains the permanent scowl.”

Tim glanced at the now-empty stage, then back at you. “You were good.”

“Only ‘good’?” you teased, stepping closer. “I worked on that presentation for weeks.”

He tilted his head, eyes lingering on your mouth. “To be honest, I didn’t hear most of it.”

“Oh?” You raised your brows, pretending offense. “Too many big words for you?”

His mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “Too many distractions.”

Your cheeks warmed. But you didn’t flinch. “That sounds like a you problem.”

“Maybe,” he said, eyes dropping briefly—pointedly—to your legs before dragging back up to your eyes. “But the view was decent.”

You let out a soft laugh and cocked a hip. “You flirting with me, Sergeant?”

He stepped closer. “Would it work?”

“Depends.” You toyed with the button of your blazer. “Are you here to arrest me for having too many words in my presentation?”

“Didn't bring cuffs."

You gave him a slow, deliberate once-over.

“That’s too bad. I did prefer the uniform.”

He smiled. Actually smiled. It was a little crooked. A little dangerous.

And it did things to your insides.

Before you could say something even more reckless, a voice called your name. One of your professors��old, sweet, the type who’d ask you for lecture slides in a USB drive.

“I should go."

But when you started to step away, he reaches for your wrist—not grabbing, just touching. His fingers brush against your skin and it jolts through you like a live wire.

“Wait—can I get your number?” he asks.

You pause. Smirk.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

He raises a brow. “You’d rather I stalk you?”

You lean in slightly, lips just shy of his ear.

“You’ll have to catch me first.”

Then you’re gone—heels clicking as you cross the room, leaving him standing there with a frustrated groan and a look that says challenge accepted.

The event wrapped up an hour later, long after the panels ended and the buzz of too many conversations filled the air.

And there he was.

Leaning against his truck like he belonged there. Arms crossed. Jaw tight. Watching you approach like he hadn’t been doing exactly that since the second you walked in.

You slowed, one brow raised. “Stalking me now?”

He shrugged. “Maybe I’m just being polite.”

You glanced at the truck. “Didn’t think Grinches offered rides to strangers.”

He stepped forward, opened the passenger door for you like a damn gentleman. “Get in, Princess Barbie.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away.

The inside of Tim’s truck is warm. Smells faintly like pine and leather and whatever cologne clings to him naturally, subtle but unmistakably him and masculine in a way that makes your thighs press together instinctively. You settle into the passenger seat, crossing your legs, careful to tug your skirt down as far as it'll go.

He starts the engine. Glances at you. “Seatbelt, Barbie.”

You smirk. “Worried about my safety, Sargeant?”

His jaw flexes, his eyes on the road now. “Always.”

Silence falls for a beat, thick and brimming with the words neither of you are ready to say. Then he clears his throat.

“So… what are you studying exactly?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Civil engineering. Sustainability focus. You know, boring stuff.”

He scoffs. “Didn’t look boring from where I was sitting.”

You give him a side glance. “You mean from where you were staring?”

His mouth twitches—almost a smile. “You were hard to miss.”

You feign surprise. “Because of the heels or the facts?”

Tim shoots you a look. “Definitely the heels.”

You laugh, and he exhales like he can finally breathe again. The ease between you returns, like it never left—not after the earthquake, not after the adrenaline wore off.

Not even after weeks apart.

The car settles into a smooth cruise, city lights rolling past the windows. Tim rests his right elbow on the center console. His fingers dangle—casual, relaxed. Then they brush against the bare skin of your thighs.

Heat crackles up your spine. You don’t move. Neither does he. His pinky drags the lightest line over your skin—so subtle it could’ve been an accident. But it’s not. You both know it.

You shift, just barely. His finger follows.

Still, neither of you look at each other. You chew your lip.

“You were impressive today,” he says, voice lower now. “Seriously.”

You glance at him.

“Thanks,” you say, softer. “I wasn’t sure anyone actually listened.”

“I did,” he murmurs. “Mostly.”

Your brow lifts. “Mostly?”

“I was distracted.”

You smirk. “By the visuals?”

“By your mouth,” he says simply. “Hard to focus on what you’re saying when you look like that.”

A pulse flutters in your throat. You open your mouth to answer—but then the car slows. A red light.

And suddenly, he turns. His fingers shift, pressing slightly into the inside of your thigh. His other hand leaves the wheel. And then he leans in.

You meet him halfway.

The kiss starts soft—testing, brushing. But your lips part almost immediately, like your body was waiting for this, begging for it. His hand cups your cheek. Yours tangle in the collar of his shirt. His tongue slips past your lips, deep and claiming.

It’s slow for a second. Then it’s not. The kiss turns wild—hungry, open-mouthed, teeth and breath and want. Like all the flirting, the near-misses, the power plays between you were just foreplay for this.

Your back arches into the kiss. His hand slides up your thigh, firm and confident. You gasp softly against his mouth, and he swallows the sound like it feeds him.

Then someone honks, announcing the green light. You both freeze.

Tim pulls back slowly, his forehead resting against yours for a beat before he straightens and puts the truck in gear again, cursing under his breath as he drives. His fingers never leave your thigh.

He pulls up in front of your apartment building, cuts the engine, and hops out to open your door before you can even unbuckle.

Chivalry looks good on him.

You step out, heart pounding, the kiss still tingling on your lips. But the second you’re on the sidewalk, his eyes are on your mouth again.

You smile up at him, voice low and teasing. “You know… I live alone.”

He raises an eyebrow, lips twitching. “As an cop, I suggest you stop saying that to strangers.”

You grin. “Didn’t know you were a stranger back in the car, Sergeant.”

He steps closer and kisses you again. Harder this time. Wilder. His hands find your waist, dragging you against him as your fingers tangle in the front of his shirt. You kiss him like you’ve been waiting—because you have. For weeks. For months. For this exact moment.

You fumble with your keys, still kissing, still gasping between touches.

The door opens. Neither of you stop as you kick the door shut with your heel.

Tim presses you up against it, his mouth hot and hungry on your neck.

You pull his shirt over his head—god, he’s ripped—and he does the same to you, sliding your blazer off your shoulders, fingers grazing your skin, leaving heat in their wake. You gasp when his lips find your collarbone.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs.

You look him in the eye. “Don’t you dare.”

[ashes-of-rozes]

In Chicago, I Feel It

༼Part Two༽

Warnings: creepy men, possessive behavior, DARK ROMANCE, mentions of pregnancy, dom/sub undertones if you squint, part 3(?)

The hot water is probably the best thing you’ve had in ages.

Beside the sink was a shelf lined with white fluffy towels. You earthly pluck two off, wrapping up your hair and the other covering your body. You wipe a streak to clear the steam off the mirror, finally looking at yourself for the first time in three weeks.

Mark was right about one thing. You were definitely malnourished. Your cheeks were more hollow than you remember, a few veins visible on your neck, the outline of your collarbones visible.

When was the last time I ate?

The question makes you pause. You didn’t know the answer. Your stomach rumbled.

You take a deep breath and exit the bathroom. Your eyes land on a girl tucking in the corners of the bed. “Uhm…hi,” you call out. The girl startles and turns around, “I’m sorry! I didn’t hear you come out.” You smile, laughing awkwardly, “Uhm…” The girl smiles, gesturing towards the desk, “Mr. Grayson told me to ask you to change into those. It’s traditional Viltrumite female night clothing, but he said he’d figure out other appropriate options later.”

You blink, shocked by her happy attitude, “Thank you. My name’s—“

“I know,” she smiles, turning back to finish up with the fresh sheets, “Everyone thought you died when they invaded. Since you stopped giving a shit.” You open your mouth to snap back but stoped, knowing it’s true. You clear your throat and walk over to the desk.

The fabric is the same as the bedding, white with a grey outline and buttons. It’s sickingly similar to pajama sets you’ve seen in stores. You really don’t want to change into Viltrumite clothes but your suit is torn and covered in dirt and blood. You grab the clothes, excusing yourself back to the bathroom to change.

The clothes are a bit bigger, hanging loosely on your shoulders and hips.

When you emerge from the bathroom again, two more people are in the room. One is an older gentleman in a white lab coat and the other is another lady who looks much less happy to be here.

“Nice to meet you,” the doctor smiles, “I was sent in to patch you up and make sure you’re okay.” You nod, glancing at the other lady. She held a tray of food in her hands, trembling slightly, staring at the ground. You frown and walk over to her, ignoring the doctor.

“What’s your name,” you ask once in front of her. She jumps, “K-Katie.” You smile, gently laying your hand over hers, “Nice to meet you. I’ll take this off your hands.” You slowly take the try of food from her, “Thank you.” She nods stiffly and practically scrambles out of the door.

“I really need to make sure you’re okay,” the doctor chimes in again, “Please, sit down.” You stare at the door.

There had to be a way out of this god forsaken prison, right? Maybe Katie knew. Maybe she could help.

You hesitate another moment before walking over to the desk, setting the food on it and sitting down, “Is this check up really necessary?” He nods, “Yes. I must clear you for activities.” You squint, an uneasy feeling swarming in your gut. The doctor settles beside of you, a polite ‘grandpa’ smile on his face as he searches through his bag.

He digs out a stethoscope and a few bandages. “Take off your shirt please,” he instructs. The girl making the bed lifts her head, confused. You glance back at her, “Why, exactly?” “I need to make sure you aren’t hiding any injuries,” he said. “Yeah,” you clear your throat, “Look, I’m sure you’re just doing you’re job, but there’s no injury on my stomach and I know how doctors work, your stethoscope can work with my shirt on.” He frowns, “Miss—“

“Just check whatever you can and sterilize my wounds. I’ll tell him your exam was very through,” you insist. The doctor stares to the point you’re uncomfortable. He nods, “Alright.”

He gives you some medicine for the pain which works weirdly fast.

He puts in the ear pieces of his stethoscope and puts it to your chest, resting the flat of his palm against your breast. You shift uncomfortably, looking everywhere but down.

“Sit still, please.”

“You’re—“

“Sit. Still.”

A feeling of uneasiness makes your skin go cold. This is the most uncomfortable you’ve been at a doctor since you were five. You take a deep breath and force yourself to go still. He may be a human, but he has the power to decide your future here.

〤〤〤

The sky is more clear here, cloudless and bright.

“You look better.”

You startle at the sudden voice, not having heard him enter. Mark’s glare is indifferent but a little more relaxed than when he left hours ago, “You’re still here.” You nod. He sighs, running his hand through his hair, “The doctor said he cleared you.” You nod, jaw tensing at the mention of the doctor.

Mark gives you a curious look, “You don’t seem happy about that.” You shrug, turning back to look out of the window, looking at the stars. Mark sighs, walking towards you, “I have been given one restriction regarding you staying here.” He places a hand on your shoulder.

You turn to look at him, eyes falling to the bracelet in his hand. “This will not only signify you’re mine, but also restricts your powers. Just until I can trust you,” he says, “Give me your wrist.” You swallow, a heavy weight on your shoulders. Do you do it and lose part of yourself? Realistically, you know you can’t win in a fight even if you could injure him. With a heavy weight on your chest, you offer him your wrist.

He latches the bracelet on.

“Viltrumite strength is the only thing that can break that,” he says, “Now tell me what’s wrong.” You blink, looking up at him, “What do you mean?” Mark frowns, angry, “I mentioned the doctor and you got tense. What happened?” You shake your head, “Nothing.” He stares at you. He looks angrier than usual. “He made me uncomfortable,” you blurt out. Mark doesn’t care. You know he doesn’t. Why are you bothering him with your paranoia?

“Uncomfortable,” he repeats, his voice lowering with each syllable. He’s silent, staring down at the ground, “What did he do?” A shudder of fear hits you so hard it makes you dizzy.

He looks so mad.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Nothing,” you mumble, looking back out at the stars. He grabs your chin, grip harsh, and forces you to look at him, “What. Did. He. Do?” You swallow down the yelp of pain. “J-Just weird,” you stutter out, “Asked me to take off my shirt and then just rested his hand on my boob when he was listening to my heart.”

His grip on your chin tightens painfully. A small whine punches from your lips and Mark’s grip immediately loosens but he doesn’t let you go. “Did you,” he asks. You frown, “Did I what?” He glares at you, his hand moving from your chin, resting on your chest, fiddling with the top button, “Undress.” Your breath hitches, one of your hands grabbing his wrist. But he doesn’t do anything except fiddle with the button.

“No.”

A small breath leaves his lips but he looks furious. “You sure,” he asks. “Why would I lie about that,” you ask. He shakes his head, “I’ll deal with him.” You swallow, grip tightening on Mark’s wrist, “Deal with him?”

“Yes,” is all he says, “Tomorrow. You need sleep.” You shake your head, “I wanna look at the stars. I haven’t seen them in a while.” Mark stares at you then nods, “Alright. I’ll get ready for bed but you must join me and give up the stars when I’m ready.”

Your throat runs dry, “I’m not ready for—“

“To sleep,” he interrupts, “The stars will be there tomorrow.” You take a deep breath and nod.

Mark leans forward placing a lingering kiss to your forehead. You flinch, eyes casting to the ground.

Maybe it’s a universal soldier thing but Mark’s in and out of the shower in under two minutes. His hair is damp when he emerges from the bathroom, wearing pajamas similar to yours but just the pants. Your eyes are glued to his abdomen.

Something hot swirls in your gut.

Then disgust ripples through you for thinking that. This man— this murderer— may have a nice body but you should not be attracted to it. It’s wrong. It’s repulsive.

He climbs into bed and turns on the lamp which turns off the big light.

Fancy fucker.

He stares at you, raising an eyebrow. You hesitate before deciding to just not fight it. You walk over, climbing into bed, sticking as close to the edge as possible.

“Goodnight.”

The word catches you off guard. You glance at him before turning your back to him, staring out the window, “Goodnight.”

masterlist

@maddyb-rapps you asked me to tag you, so here you are lovely!

Let me know if you guys want a part 3 and/or if you want this to turn into a story!! Also, let me know if you want longer chapters! Anything I write that’s over 2,000 words usually doesn’t do well but I’ll give the people what they want :D

||part one|| ||part three||

[nakylvr]

omg dealer!dani angst where a deal goes wrong and she either goes to jail or to the hospital and reader finds out through the news after not hearing from dani for a few days thinking she ghosted her!!! if she goes to jail reader posts the bail for her and if dani is in the hospital reader will be by her bedside everyday😭😭😭

dealer!dani comeback ✊ this has been in my drafts for a hot minute i apologize but here 🤲

– ECHOES OF SILENCE

warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, language, established relationship, f!reader, dealer!dani au, injuries mention, hospitals

to say you were worried would be an understatement. the first reason being told to stay home from daniela while she went out to a deal with others. the second being she never came back. you tried texting, you tried calling, you even called manon and minji to see if they knew anything only to get no answers. worried wasn't the right word anymore. you were starting to freak out once it reached day two of not hearing from her.

your first thought is she's ghosting you. for what reason? you could never know. while she's never done it before, part of you wouldn't be too surprised if she randomly decided to leave and not bother responding. your next thought is that something bad happened. that's the only other explanation. if she got arrested, thankfully you had bail money in a safe. if it was worse? you didn't want to think about it.

on day three you finally got an answer. scrolling through the news section on your laptop, your body freezes when you land on a certain article.

altercation in downtown los angeles in a drug deal leaves 1 dead and 3 wounded, 1 critical

"oh my fucking god," you let out, clicking on the article to open the full page. you skim over it quickly before landing at the bottom where it says the nearest hospital was. you quickly get up and change into something more presentable, slipping your shoes on before rushing out of the apartment.

getting to the hospital was easy, making your way through the hospital was not easy. they told you what room daniela was in, but finding the room was a fucking mess with how big the place was. when you finally found the room, you stopped when your hand touched the door. '1 critical', you remembered seeing. obviously you weren't told her condition with you immediately rushing off the second you were told the room number, so you had no clue what you were walking into.

taking a deep breath, you slide the door open, and freeze in your spot. she was asleep, an iv next to her going in her arm, her arm in a sling, a black eye and other bruises scattered across her body. you hesitantly take a few steps forward, sliding the door closed behind you as you approach the bed, not being able to hold back the sob building in your throat.

daniela's eyes slowly open the second the sob leaves your mouth, and she blinks a few times before realizing it's you standing next to her. "yn?" her voice is raspy as she says your name.

the tears start falling from your eyes before you can think, your arms wrapping around the girl carefully while sobbing into her neck. "i was so worried about you, i-i didn't know what happened, yo-you never came back."

with her moveable arm, dani runs her fingers through your hair, her heart clenching at your cries. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean to worry you," she says quietly. "i'm okay, i promise."

"you could've died!" you exclaim, pulling your head away to look at her. "y-you could've died a-and i would never know. i can't lose you, dani," your voice cracks as you speak, the tears still seeping down your cheeks.

daniela's hand moves up to cup your cheek, wiping away the tears that were still falling. "you won't lose me, i promise," she softly tells you. "i'm still here, i'm all in one piece, i'm okay. there's nothing to worry about."

"your arm is broken, dani," you respond. "and you look like shit. but i'm so glad you're okay."

"trust me, i'm glad too." she leans forward, pressing a soft kiss on your lips. "and now i can finally leave since you're here."

"good." you smile a little at her. "let's go home, we'll get something to eat on the way back. i know hospital food isn't the greatest."

"oh my god it's not even food i don't think!" daniela groans dramatically. "the only good part was the jell-o, seriously!"

you couldn't help but laugh at her words, nodding your head and patting her shoulder. "i'm sure."

a moment of silence fills the room before daniela speaks again in a quieter voice. "you're not mad, are you?"

"no." you shake your head. "but you aren't going anywhere until you're healed, and i mean anywhere, daniela," you tell her. "if someone is desperate enough for something, they can meet me outside the apartment. otherwise, no nothing until you're better, okay?"

"okay," she mumbles, nodding her head. "does this mean you'll be taking care of me the whole time?" she smiles a bit.

"don't get any ideas," you reply, already knowing what she was thinking. "you're the one who broke her arm."

"and you are my saving grace." she smiles wider.

"wow," you say, shaking your head. "are you concussed too?"

"nope, just in love with you," she answers.

"you're terrible."

"you love me."

[httpknjoon]

an awful good girl | myg

plot | that time in december of their tour where popstar!yn sang while sitting on santa's lap. (but who's santa anyway?)

w.c | 4K+

pairing | bass guitarist!yoongi x popstar!reader

genre | fluff, enemies to lovers

note | supposed to be another song but loved this one more. also, a little manhandling somewhere there... ps. i was listening to earth kitt's version of this song before switching. hence why some parts made it here.

main masterlist | series masterlist | want to request?

DAY 64 of Love Is.. On Tour

For your first December concert in Love Is... On Tour, you prepare a themed costume and performances for your fans. But a surprise song became the highlight tonight.

@.JUN0BABY: can someone tell me what's going on tonight??!?

@.t4asteme: WTF WDYM YN GAVE A LAP DANCE ON STAGE TONIGHT

--@.THEB0YISDIVIN3: she just sat on santa's lap

@.pov.yn: siri play that should be me by justin bieber

@.3435outro: as someone who's bi, idk if i'm jealous of yoongi or yn

@.FredInTheDrums: lol santa won tonight [insert picture from the stage]

@.0nlyangelz: her bassist is so hot i can't blame her 🥵

@.loveisviscious: lol how can they do shit like this

--@.BEDCHEMENTHUSIAST: ikr?! they are prolly really good friends

---@.YNFan37489265: we <3 that yn-yoongi friendship

But how did the concert even led to these tweets?

"Okay, band, gather in."

Before the band could go on their ride back to the hotel, Paul, the tour's wardrobe supervisor, called them to the wardrobe department's area. Exhausted from just performing, Yoongi slumped on the blue couch next to Noah, who was probably the only one still having the energy from the rest of the band.

"What's up?" Akio, the band's keyboardist, asked since she had been craving to go back to her bed.

Paul clapped his hands, "Okay, so you know that days from now is December. And we only have four concert dates left before the holiday break, right?"

The band members nod in answer.

"Good. So, each concert date will have different Christmas themes for these last dates. The first one will be Santa's workshop. And I just need you to pick your characters through the fishbowl method again." Paul explained, reaching for a cup filled with folded papers.

Having themed events is not really new with the band. During Halloween week, you did the same thing. You had two concerts then and decided to turn them into fun costume parties for your staff and fans. Yoongi, who was never lucky with the fishbowl method, got to be the Danny Zuko to your dreamy Sandy Olsson. They were only a week old on the tour at that time and the couple-costume made some rumors that eventually died down after you told the backstory during the same concert.

"Do you want to look at your characters or do you want it to be a surprise?" Paul asked.

Noah and Fred answered at the same time, "Surprise! Make it a surprise."

Both Yoongi and Akio just let them. Yoongi does not really care, while Akio is just dozed off on his shoulder. He tapped her knee to wake her up when Paul began making them pick a paper. After that, they handed back their secret characters to him one by one while he listed them down in his mini notepad.

"Okay, you are now free to go. You'll see your characters in the next performance. I already have your measurements anyway." Paul concluded, knowing how much the band had been dreading to rest.

The band got up and walked out of the room. On their way to their van outside, Fred and Noah were having fun teasing the youngest, Akio, like her little brothers. She groaned at their energy to wake her up. Yoongi walked behind them, busy on his phone, reading some text messages he missed during the concert. Most of them were from his friends and colleagues inviting him to work with them. But one message stopped Yoongi for a second.

From (555) 436-*22*

Hello, Yoongi. S, here. New number. Need to talk to you about something. Please call as soon as you see this.

It was a new number on his phone. But he can already recognize who sent it. Suddenly, his heartbeats were louder than his bandmates' laughs while he stared at the message in front of him. His jaw tightened when he read the text message once again. What does she want now?

"Hey, guys!"

All of a sudden, he hears your voice, greeting the band. He looked up, pushing his phone back to his pockets. You are now back in your oversized grey sweatshirt, after wearing your sparkly outfits all night.

"Did Paul already tell you about the costumes?" you asked, striking a small conversation with them.

You, yourself, are on your way to Paul to talk about your wardrobe for December performances. Costumes and themed parties are always your thing, so you try to do them at every chance you get. Cal stood next to you, busy on her phone for your schedule.

"Yeah, but we just picked some random paper. Then, asked Paul to just surprise us with our characters." Fred replies.

"Oh, that's exciting." you smiled.

You began talking about your plans for the next Christmas themes, making Noah excited as he is another big enthusiast of the holidays. Yoongi watched quietly on the sidelines. You two barely had any interaction since you cried on stage while singing POV, which was three days ago. It was too peaceful between the two of you, no arguments at all. On stage, you have interacted more with Akio or Noah. Not like he minds at all! It's just that it feels like you are avoiding him. You laughed around with everyone in the band during the show and rehearsals except him. He remembered you were being chatty with him before the rehearsals for POV days ago.

"And I got this new notebook, so like I took it as a sign to write new songs! I already have Christmas-themed ones, just need some help with producing them so I can release them before we take a break," you shared with the band, breaking Yoongi's thoughts.

The notebook! You got them. That's good to know. Yoongi did not really know if you got that souvenir notebook he left on your door as a peace offering gift since you haven't really said anything about it. He felt bad making you cry, although that was not his goal, and he didn't know what to get you since his options were limited at the time. He wanted to apologize and talk to you personally but you were always busy and he didn't know how, where, and when can he approach you.

"I know a guy for that!" Fred exclaimed, turning around. "Yoongi, you can help with YN with that, right?"

For the first time in a couple of days, you looked directly at him. It was like there was a switch. Your smile dropped and you blankly stared at him.

Caught in surprise, Yoongi looked away, "Yeah... Yeah, sure. I can help if she wants me to."

Although they won't speak about it, everyone, along with Cal and the other band members, can feel that there is some weird tension between you and Yoongi these last couple of days. There was no petty argument even though there are times that it can potentially start. Like when Yoongi accidentally knocked over your water bottle, you didn't say anything, which is unusual. Because normally, you would make a big deal out of it and Yoongi would fight back, making a bigger deal with it. But nothing, nada. You two were just robots around each other.

"It's fine, I still have other holiday songs that I can cover later these days." you smiled back to his friends. "Anyway, I won't hold you guys longer. I know that you want to rest already— Aren't we all?"

His friends laughed. You continued, "But thank you, guys. I had the best show tonight. I think the fans enjoyed Bed Chem the most."

Oh, yeah. That performance earlier where you invited Noah for the outro part of that song. It was wilder than what you did with Yoongi since behind the curtains, your silhouettes were shown taking each other clothes before getting into a suggestive pose, which you and Noah have fun doing since it was nothing but for entertainment. You are closest with him in the band since he was the only one who stayed from your past band. Plus, he is gay and everyone knows it.

Without any reason in mind, Yoongi's face felt so hot watching the scene, he had to look away.

Two days passed by quickly, you and the entire crew are now in another city. You left the hotel earlier than usual since you were excited to try on the costumes Paul made.

"Oh my god. This is so cute!" you exclaimed, checking yourself out in front of the mirror.

It was a red mini dress with a heart cutout in the chest area. Its upper and lower hems are lined with white fur. Paul even sewed silver gemstones everywhere, still in the theme of your sparkly aesthetic. You also have the matching gloves that equally looked perfect.

"I'll just show you the other ones every rehearsal." your wardrobe supervisor said. "Just to keep you coming here excited."

"I am always excited coming here to see your creations," you told him, twirling in front of the mirror. "How's the band's costumes?"

Paul pulled a rack of costumes that were made for your live band. There are two sets of costumes for the elves, a brown onesie and headband for Rudolph, and a red sparkly suit, matching yours, for Santa Claus. The faux white beard was ditched as it might disturb the member's performance.

"So, who's my Santa for tonight?" you smiled.

The surprise performance you planned for later needs a Santa. So, other than your costume, you were also excited to know who got the special role. You don't really mind who it is since you get along with almost everyone—

"Yoongi."

2:37 PM

You looked at the time on the upper right of your phone screen. The call time was exactly thirty-seven minutes ago. Initially, the rehearsals for the surprise performance will be practiced first since it is a new addition to the setlist. But Yoongi said he'll be late for a few minutes. So, they moved to doing a soundcheck for other songs. But it has been five songs without her bass guitarist. Where is Yoongi? He has never been this late before. You walked up to Cal, who was talking with Art.

"Should we just change San-"

"Sorry, I'm late."

As if on cue, Yoongi walked on the stage with his guitar. He looked different, you thought. Maybe because it was your first time seeing his flowy, black hair in a man bun, which you won't admit looks good on him. You rolled your eyes at thinking that. Yoongi went straight to his usual spot in the band. He was setting up his guitar when you walked up to him.

"You're almost an hour late," you told him, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I know, that's why I said sorry," he replied nonchalantly, looking down at his guitar. "I told Art that I am going to be late-"

For the thousandth time, he is avoiding looking at you again. You remembered him looking away nights ago when Fred asked Yoongi if he could help you produce your self-written songs. He was also doing the same thing for like two weeks now.

"Why can't you look at me?!"

Like a volcano that erupted unexpectedly, you cut him off. Everyone watched in silence at you and Yoongi. Your brows were furrowed as you stared at him. But instead of glaring back at you, Yoongi just replied, unbothered.

"As if you weren't avoiding me these past few days?"

You blinked, "Uh... I'm not."

Thank God liars don't really get their pants on fire when they lie in real life, because you would end up burning your legs if they do.

"Yoongi, YN, please follow me. Now." Art suddenly spoke.

He's mad,. You rarely see the older guy look serious. You looked at Cal, who simply tilted her head to Art, raising an eyebrow like she was telling you to follow him. You walked when Yoongi walked past you to where Art was going.

No one spoke as you two walked behind Art. But both you and Yoongi can feel the atmosphere feeling like you two are second graders who are about to get a lecture from your teacher. Maybe get sent to detention. Art stopped in one of the vacant dressing rooms at the arena. He opened the door for you two. he did not say anything but you and Yoongi took it as a sign that he wants you to go in first.

"Please occupy the couch— the same couch." he had to correct himself when you and Yoongi sat on a different sofa that was on each wall of the room. He sighed, kids.

Following what Art said, you and your least favorite band member sat on opposite ends of the couch. An obvious three-feet distance is between you two. Your tour manager reached for a monoblock chair, sitting before you.

"I have had enough of this whole eye contact thing, okay? We have to solve this here and now. It's wasting everyone's time." Art spoke sternly like he was a dad for both you and Yoongi. "Who can tell me what's the problem?"

"He won't give me any eye contact when he talks to me," you said, trying not to sound too bratty or childish.

Yoongi crossed his arms, "Two weeks ago, she was telling me not to look at her and now, she's asking why I'm not looking. I'm just doing what she wants me to do."

Art nods, then looks at you.

"He was staring too hard that day, it was uncomfortable. And I didn't mean for him not to look at me at normal conversations on the daily." you defended.

"We never had any normal conversations." your bassist mumbled lowly, making you roll your eyes.

Art intervened before another fight ensued, "So, what do you want now, YN?"

"I... I just want him to look at me when we're talking..." your volume gets lower when you realise how that statement felt a little needy.

It was like you heard Yoongi put on a smug smirk (if that was even possible), and you turned your head to him just to confirm that yes, he had that stupid smirk on his lips.

"We never see each other eye to eye. Why are you so bothered about it?" he asked.

Before you could pause and ask yourself the same question, you replied, "Uhm, eye contact is part of having a proper human conversation. I mean, it just feels like I am being ignored when I can't see the eyes of the person I'm talking with."

What the hell even is that answer? You mentally slapped your forehead.

"Yeah, you would know something about ignoring someone, right?" Yoongi scoffed.

You looked at Yoongi, who is now looking back at you. Art is starting to feel that this is something deeper than the eye contact thing.

"Should I leave you two alone?" he asked, more careful this time.

"Yes."

Yoongi was the first to answer, being firm with it. You were taken aback for a second by how quick he was but nodded when Art turned to you to get your answer.

"Fine, I'll give you five minutes. Then, everything should be good and we'll go back to rehearsals." Art stood up.

Yoongi waited for him to close the door before turning to you. He wasted no time.

"I'm sorry."

Confused, you squinted, "For... what?"

That was not what you expected you hear from him when he agreed to talk with you alone here. You thought he would just keep on implying that you were the issue and confusing.

Yoongi sighed, "I'm sorry for saying what I said when we were in rehearsals for POV. It was not my intention to make you cry while performing it."

"Oh..." you gulped. That was not his fault. "It's a decision I made, I just got carried away, that's all."

You know that there is something more to that, but you hate to sit and drown yourself alone with your feelings. So, you won't do that today.

"Yeah, I know. But I feel like I pushed you into it. That's why you were ignoring me. Right?" Yoongi added. "I know that everything is probably still—"

"You know what? It's fine, it's okay. I appreciate your apology. But really, it's not fully on you. Let's just move forward from this." you cut him off before he can say more things.

He looked at you for a moment, like he was studying you. You hate it. That is what you mean when you say you don't like him looking at you. It was like he could see right through your lies. Like some magician.

"Please stop staring," you whispered, feeling a little small. "Don't stare like you are reading me like a book."

His stare softened when you said that. Nodding, he looks away.

You quickly spoke, "But you can look at me! Just... don't stare too hard. I'm not that kind of diva."

He chuckled, "Okay."

"Okay." you sighed. There are things that are still not discussed but you can probably talk about it next time or whatever. As you felt the awkward silence filling in the room, you asked. "Are we back to normal?"

"Yeah."

By normal, it means professional colleagues who probably still have a very tiny animosity due to their differences. Because normal, to you and Yoongi, is not being friends. You are not friends, just two people who need each other for your jobs. But now, you are about to sit on your bass guitarist's lap for a performance later.

"Are you comfortable with this?" you asked him after letting him know that he would be involved as Santa tonight.

"You're just gonna sit on my lap?" he asked with a blank expression.

"Yeah," you replied shortly.

It was supposed to be something freakier than that but considering the unexpected changes earlier in your tour, you changed whatever that is into a simple sit on Santa's lap.

"Okay."

Everyone can feel the tension lifting from you and Yoongi the moment you two returned with Art. You were communicating at each other better and they could see it especially when you began rehearsing for Santa Baby.

The dancers and other band members were teasing and laughing when you two began with your bit on Santa's throne. Yoongi was quiet, but smiling at some parts. You, on the other hand, were playing along, loving the energy with your crew. You were back in your playful persona while dancing around Santa, teasing him, just to make others entertained.

You were enjoying the song, Yoongi understands. But you cannot stop unconsciously wiggling on his open lap and you were getting dangerously close to him, while he is wearing his grey sweatpants. He just have to do something.

"Santa baby— oh."

You gasped at Yoongi's sudden pull down on your waist, making you stay in the same spot on his lap. You looked at him, instantly recognizing the slight tint of blush on his cheeks.

"Just stay here," he whispered with his voice lower than usual.

"Oh, okay... sorry." you pressed your lips together before looking away to smile at something else.

"Just don't move around too much." he added before removing his hold on your.

You nodded, "Noted."

"Good." He whispered under his breath.

"Of course, we won't let this night end without a surprise gift for you!"

The fans screamed as you announced that. You have been performing for almost an hour now. four outfit changes later, you are now in a sparkly, red cloak with faux fur on its hem, hiding your themed outfit underneath. Your surprise holiday performance is conveniently placed in the final performance of the night.

"Hit it!"

As a signal, you posed, raising your index finger and putting your candy cane before you. The local barbershop quartet that you hired for your four December shows began singing.

"Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom..."

Once the instrumental of the classic, sultry Christmas song began, Yoongi watched you turn around, instantly meeting his eyes. Unlike before, the director are now aware of your actions since you promised to follow what was rehearsed.

"Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom…"

In every ba-boom, you step closer to Yoongi with your candy cane. The corners of your lips are curved up slightly. Your eyes say nothing but mischief that Yoongi can only hope that you will not do anything that can make him trend online. Like when you did your favorite freaky position before him.

"Santa, baby. Slip a Sable under the tree for me..."

The fans cheered when your soft voice began singing. You are an angel with the spotlight serving as a bright halo behind you, Yoongi thought. Whenever you sing to him during these live shows, Yoongi sometimes finds himself getting transported to another space. Maybe it's because of the light... the songs... the atmosphere... or the way you nod your head in every word you sing like you mean it. It's hypnotizing.

"I've been an awful good girl..."

By that line, you are already next to him, leaning your back to his side like you are in distress. You continued singing next to him, while a famous Santa Claus throne was being put up on the farther heart-shaped centerstage.

"Santa, baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue. I'll wait up for you, dear..."

Yoongi bobbed his head along with you while playing his guitar, seemingly enjoying the song.

"Think of all the fun I've missed, Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed..."

You began walking around the band and all over the stage, singing to your fans who joyfully sang along with you.

"Next year, I could be just as good. If you check off my Christmas list..."

You took the time to sing and bond with them, giggling at the funny signs they brought with them.

"Santa, honey, So hurry down the chimney tonight..."

While moving to the song's fourth verse, you walked back to Yoongi. The fans screamed when you playfully teased him with your candy cane, before pulling yourself closer to him. You clung to his arm and you two walked down to the center stage.

"Come and trim my Christmas tree, With some decorations bought at Tiffany's..."

While singing, you pushed Yoongi to sit on the throne. He acted like he would stand up but you pushed him again, placing your candy cane on his lap. Finally, you dramatically remove your cloak, revealing your shimmering your mini-dress.

"I really do believe in you, Let's see if you believe in me..."

You danced around the throne, leaning over it before finding your way back to Santa. Yoongi mentally prepares himself, and even adjusts his pants.

"Santa, baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring..."

As soon as you found your place on his lap, your audience went crazy. You continued singing, facing Yoongi, your Santa for tonight. You pointed to your empty ring finger. Yoongi was just vibing along to your singing, swaying his head along.

"Santa, baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight..."

But you were so into the song that you forgot what Yoongi told you earlier. You kept wiggling on his lap once again, singing along with your fans. Screams erupted when Yoongi held your waist. You felt his hand firmly holding you down, making sure that you would sit still. Although taken aback for a second, you smiled and felt blood rushing through your cheeks.

"Waiting... Hurry, tonight... Hurry down the chimney tonight."

When you sang those last lines, you acted like whispering it close to Yoongi's ear. leaning a little closer to him. Yoongi simply raised an eyebrow, an action enough to get loud reactions.

The lights slowly dimmed down with you still sitting on his lap. Fans cheered for the last time, knowing that it was the last song. But suddenly, a familiar tune plays in the whole arena.

"You didn't think that was all, right?"

note | i received your requests and i'm working on it. but please know that holiday-themed drabbles are currently prioritised 🥹 tysm for the love

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[aliceisaperson]

What I think the NPMD gangs favorite Starkid musicals would be

Steph:

1. Black Friday

Steph would probably really appreciate the anti-capitalist and anti-consumerist themes of the show (even if she doesn’t necessarily put them into practice). The critique of modern so called “good” democratic politicians would be something she would absolutely love. I also think unfortunately Steph has nuclear level daddy issues so the whole story being centered around a father trying so hard to make his kid happy after the other parent dies would make her violently sob.

2. Firebringer

Kind of similar reasoning to the last one where I think she’d really appreciate the message of the show being a critique of modern society. I think Steph also appreciates a good WLW romance.

3. Cinderella’s Castle

She’d definitely love the music style of the show, pulling a lot from 80’s synth and such. She’d probably also really like the criticism of the attitude of royalty in the show. I can definitely see her having facade on repeat.

Pete:

1. Holy Musical B@man

I headcanon Pete’s main kind “nerd” interest as being superheroes so this one’s a bit of a shoe in. I think he’d really appreciate how to musical parallels real life reactions to things in the comics with their characters as I think he’d be a dork about comic book history. He’d definitely love all the different references, so he’d probably just have fun with it in general.

2. Starship

I’m also of the impression Pete would really like Sci-Fi shit so obviously he’d like this one. Beyond that I just think that he’d connect to message of the show, that being that it’s better to be yourself than to try to push yourself to try to fit a mold of other people’s expectations of you. I kind of feel that’s probably something he’s struggled with before.

3. ANI

Yeah idk. I just feel like he’d really be into Star Wars. I think he’d have fun with how the show kind of makes fun of the prequels a lot since I feel like he’d hate those.

Max:

1. Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Max hasn’t actually seen the show all he just skipped to the parts he’s in and cheers everytime he’s on screen. He essentially sees the story has him killing a bunch of people who wronged him and then getting laid by the girl he’s been pining after.

2. ANI

Ok hear me out on this one. ANI is essentially just a comeback sports movie. Max would love that shit. I think he watched it once at like 2:00am under the covers of his bed because he was scared of someone catching him watching something that was a MUSICAL as well as being about STAR WARS. BOTH OF THOSE THINGS ARE FOR NERDS. He secretly loves it but will never admit it.

3. Cinderella’s Castle

He likes this one exclusively because he thinks the prince is funny and because it has a ton of hot women in it.

Grace:

1. VHSCCs

This one kind of just because it’s the cleanest and has the most wide appeal to people that don’t fall into the typical Starkid audience. It would easily be the one that offends her the least and I think she’d enjoy it.

2. Trail to Oregon

To be clear I do not think Grace would like this one at all. But I do think she went to see it at the Starlight expecting it to be a fun sanitized musical about the actual trail to Oregon only to be wildly offended at its contents (especially calling god a “vicious two-faced prick”) and I think she’d went home and wrote an obscenely long Facebook post about it encouraging people to protest it. Again she does not like it, but it illicit a major reaction out of her so it’s making the list.

3. Starship

Ruth and Grace somehow end up studying together one time and Ruth puts this on after their done and Grace is so offended by the idea that “God is Dead” that she blasts gods not dead on her phone until Ruth turns off the show and turns on Gods not Dead instead. Again, she didn’t like it, but it got a major reaction out of her which is close enough.

Ruth:

1. Me and My Dick

Obviously I think the humor of this show would appeal to Ruth a lot. But besides that I just think she’d really connect to it. The show is essentially about a girl who’s perceived as ugly and is super horny getting finally noticed by the guy who’s been ignoring her for forever and getting chosen over someone who’s seen as more desirable. Ruth would love that shit, it’s full on wish fulfillment for her. After seeing the musical it’s now a goal of hers to receive cunnilingus in the choir room before she graduate.

2. Twisted

Ruth definitely gives me Disney kid vibes, so I think in general she’d appreciate this, but also I think this is as musical theatre as Starkid gets and she would love that. I can definitely see her analyzing the complex lyrics and laughing along at the silly ones, and crying at the performances. I just think she’d like this one a lot.

3. A Very Potter Musical

Firstly, I just feel like Ruth used to be a potter head when she was younger so she’d probably love the show because of that, but I also think the low budget charm might appeal to her as well. Besides that though this is another example where I think she’d hardcore relate to another character, that being Hermione. Cause Hermione in the show is a character who’s seen as ugly and is constantly under appreciated by people despite the work she does and then she ends up getting with the guy who’s been ignoring her the whole show.

Richie:

1. Nerdy Prudes Must Die

I think seeing his own arc on screen would make in sob violently. He’d hate it but he’d love it. It would be utterly devastating.

2. Starship

Idk kind of just vibes here. I think Richie definitely has a crush on February and he wants the show to be adapted into an anime.

3. Me and My Dick

I don’t think Richie is a big theatre person but I think he would have an appreciation for low budget theatre charm. I don’t think he likes or knows anything about harry potter so I went with another one of the older shows. I also just feel like he might relate to *character* Joey Ritcher.

[goodnightbirdy]

tipsy/drunk top gun commentary

(ive watched this movie 3 times in the last week, im gonna do it again) ((excuse any spelling errors, as before mentioned, drunk))

PLANE PORN!

middle finger with no thumb is crazy work

everyone is so incredibly sweaty???

rest in peace goose bradshaw, you were too pretty for this world

Chekov's penny benjimin

only five weeks at top gun feels insane, i know theyre already like some of the best but damn

what is this fucking lounge theyre in. what kinda classroom is this?

maverick stop taking double takes at ice, its making you look gay.

goose cheesing in that scene always makes me so happy. OH ITS DPS ALL OVER AGAIN, HES SO HAPPY AND HES GONNA FUCKING DIE GOD DAMNIT

not goose hunting down a bf for mav "you wanted to know who the best was? thats him"

okay if they didnt want me to ship icemav why did they shoot that scene in the o club like they are standing INCHES from eachother??

everyone immedaiately joining in on mav's bullshit. icons, girls girls if you will

yep mav, yeah sunglasses will completely hide your identity, great job

"so your the one" and it was at that moment charlie decided she was gonna jump that kid

jesters voice is really nice

"Whats your problem Kazansky" girl whats you problem mav, what was that reaction??

nobody helps that gay kid whos carrying the coffe and get absolutley cleared?? help him up sis

"i dont date students" AS YOU SHOULDNT. rwahtever. charlie pisses me off for a majority of this movie, only makes up for it by being realllu hot

PLAYYING WITH BOYS. dare i say, best song in the movie

the jeans in the sand piss me off so fucking bad. AND ICE AND SLIDER IN SWEATPANTS. why is goose the only appropirately dressed person in this situation

oh my fucking god cue the 38 minutes of "TAKE MAH BREATH AWAY"

charlie has a birdie?? how have i never noticed the whole fucking parrot in the background

OH BABY BRADLEY> IM GONNA CRY

ugh unfortuntatley charlie in glasses looks really sext despite being a massive cunt

"i dont want anyone to know ive fallen for you" girl stand up, hes a 25 year old bisexual asshole

(as a side note, a car alarm has been going off outside my dorm for upwards of 30 minutes now)

the open mouth "kissing" is gonna send me over the edge, i hate them

wolfman and hollywoods matching helmets. you little queers i love you.

no wdym goose wears a cross pendant like a 19 year old frat fuck boy

BABY BRADLEYYY

miniskirt on a motorcycle, crazy work

i can understand why mav got pissed off, 20 seconds is a long ass time ngl

"watch the canopy" famous last words

your laughing, goose just died and this movie is gonna subject us to 40 minutes of plane porn and youre laughing

"you gotta let him go" HE JUST FUCKING DIED. can we give it, even a singular day, holy shit

i have no funny commentary, this is just sad as fuck ngl

alexa cue nobodys solider by hoizer

Everyone acting like mav is never going to recover. IT HAS BEEN A COUPLE OF DAYS. if my best friend died i would be inconslable for at minimum a month.

the way charlie is trting to be cheeky and mav is just "can i fucking help you?"

CAN SOMEONE GIVE MAV A FYCKJING BREAK. his best friend died mere days ago. please someone give him some gracee

oh look at that greenscreen. gotta love it

"wheres maverick" GIRL HES DOING HIS FUCKING BEST

i know this is the navy but can we give bro a second to mourn??

everyone is in competion fo rsweatiest man alive agin

so much fucking beeping

mary maybe oyu should have given mav a fucking minute befire putting back iin the air. bro is having a little thing called PTSD

poor merlin and his insane fucking PTSD riddled pilot. i would have a fucking heart attack.

i feel like tower guy would learn by now that maverick is not "requesting a fly by" hes warning you that hes GOING to do it

"you can be my wingman anytime" cheesy as fuck, i love it give me 14 of these right now

my least favorite scene in the movie is when mav throws gooses dog tags into the ocean. thats the kind of thing you keep for the rst of yoyr life or i dont know GIVE BACK TO HIS FAMILY

GOOSES NAME IS STILL ON THE FCUKING LOCKER. oh im gonna kms

what is the layout of this club and how does charlie avoid being spotted, like i may just be drunk but he goes into the room with the juke box and charlie is in the room he was just in?? did they not walk right past each other??

thnks for joinging me on this wonderful journey that will most likely get deleted in the mornig ✌️

[desicanary]

Some thoughts after finishing the double that I need to expel from my consciousness:

1. I haven't enjoyed a show so much in a while. It had all the drama, and it didn't sacrifice it for the romance

2. Princess Wanning! She killed her dad and I think that was queen shit. She should have killed more people, frankly. She deserves to do so much murder

3. Shen Yurong how I hate you. This man is not only a murderer and a coward, he's also incompetent. None of his plans have ever worked. Mans couldn't manage to successfully kill his wife even if every god were on his side. I loved every time Xue Fangfei did psychic damage to him simply by existing

4. Xue Fangfei! Xue Li! Jiang Li! Xiao Limao! A'Li! Many other terms of address I've missed! She truly is that girl. She is gaslight gatekeep girl boss. She's a girl's girl. She stabbed a man in the dick 7 times. She has the man who once called her a pawn wrapped around her pinkie. When her man tells her he has to get into a political marriage for the nation she says do it then, and then he has to admit he was never gonna. She inflicted +9999999999999 damage on those who wronged her and Jiang Li. She can't fight to save her life (as evident) but can and will confuse her opponent into tripping over their own nonexistent shoelaces

5. I loved the progression of the relationship between A'Li and Xiao Heng. They weren't immediately lovers or friends. They fully used each other until they were willing to be used. The chemistry, the flirting, it's too much and too good. Also, Xiao Heng serves. See: the fans, the fucking gold plated murder fan, a walk-in closet full of capes, the most dramatic entrances known to cdramas, and all the audacity

6. BUT what were the last 20 minutes! They don't exist to me! My buddies Wen Ji and Lu Ji are watching their boss embarass himself at Duke Su's mansion and sharing in the hot goss, to me

7. Plus, I've gotta be missing something about the Longwu army. I do not understand them at all. Not a single one of them would survive the Nuremberg precedent. Not only are they not guided by ethics and morals, they're also not guided by loyalty or revenge or anger or hate or any understandable motivation. Instead, they're guided by a rock carving of a fish. wut. They find out the dude holding the fish works for the guy who betrayed and killed their general, their comrades, and even some of their family. And their response is: "How could they?!?!?! But we still have to listen to them because they have the fish!" Truly what. Someone explain this all-powerful rock fish to me

8. I do think that the Jiangs deserved more. And by more I mean worse. I think Xue Li should have told Jiang Yuanbai exactly how Jiang Li lived and died, and that she hated him for his negligence. I think she should have told the grandma too. They had their hand in this and they deserve to feel the full weight of Jiang Li's life and death and hatred

9. Also Jiang Yuanbai being like "It's not that I didn't know what was going on at home it's just that I was so busy working for the nation uwu". Sir, disrespectfully, no. You had not a clue. And if you did, that makes it worse. Like "Oh no! I'm so busy working that I have no choice but to let my wife frame my 8 yr old for her own attempted murder! The murder of the same stepmom that she, until yesterday, adored! Oh well, I gotta go to work so I'll just let that happen and abandon her for 10 years until politics makes it necessary for me to bring her home! And I'll feel really bad about abandoning her now, but I'll also never believe a single word out her mouth!" Actually, I think he should be hunted for sport

10. Anyway, that got off track! But I love this show, and how even the antagonists have arcs and backstories and aren't countering our girl just cuz. I love the fleshed out characters, all the looks it serves, the drama, and the adorable Wen Ji and Lu Ji and Jiang Jingrui

[thatflatenedfrogontheroad]

I made a tier list...

please make your own!! I need to see boomer nations opinions on our man!!!! I know the tiers are actually so vile so change them if you desire :)))

OK so my quick blurb on why they are their!! (working worst to best)

28. Identity Crisis #5 - HE WOULD KILL ME FOR THE FUN OF IT. It did bring about the most random rivalry between Tim drake’s fandom and boomer's which is very funny

27. Black Lantern - Oh no… he's back… like a boomerang. Ate his own son... RIP…. L skill issue

26. Sliver Age - Would actually call me a slur and say that I don't deserve rights. He would hate crime me and then solicit me for sex. He looks like he's wearing a dress… what a pretty lady.

25. Flash TV Show - EWWWWWWWW, he though he ate...

24. DC Online - He looks like he would punch me in face at a NYC bus stop

23. White Lantern - Don't look at me like that… stop. He's back from the dead like a boomerang?? Something about most of the New 52 boomerangs don't hit the same. the bride all in white :’)

22. Young Justice - Gave me the ick. You might be thinking... he looks identical to SS hell to pay, why is he down here?? Great question… HE WAS SO CREEPY TO ONE OF THE GIRLS IN YOUNG JUSTICE….. WHO IS A MINOR!

21. Injustice Movie - Just because your in the background… doesn't save you from this list!!!

20. New 52 - Ok he's kinda hot if you look through your peripherals…Why are you wearing skinny jeans… you millennial

19. Harley Quinn TV Show - He's fine… just fine. “We’ll stack out bingo… Boomer loves an older woman” NO HE MUST LOVE ME! I AM VERY VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE

18. Flash: Sins of the Father - Can you please stop talking in the 3rd person… you are starting to sound crazy.

17. Most Wanted - I know jack shit about him. That's probably because he is barely in a comic issues THATS NAMED AFTER HIM!

16. Flash Point Paradox - His fight scene actually ate. I'm a sucker for Boomer being with the Rogues. If cyborg can take his belt off… so can I

15. Suicide Squad 2021 - Wow they somehow gave him even less lines than his first movie. 1. He doesnt look like boomer. 2. His accent is so bad… and hes AUSTRALIAN 3. His acting low key kinda mid 4. They killed off two of the only OG suicide squad members they had on the cast 5. He dies in the first 20min and in the most disrespectful way

14. Suicide Squad 2016 - The only good thing to come from this man is the fanfiction he brought. THIS FUCKING MOVIE MADE HIM A CANON BRONY WHICH I CAN NOT FORGIVE. GET THIS OUT OF MY SMUT BEFORE FREAK THE FUCK OUT >:( Fuck him and pinky too, you son of a bitch!!!! (its not that serious lol... i just want him to stop fucking a toy horse... please guys)

13. This Goober Alien Guy - I know nothing. He just kinda showed up… and I'm not mad just a little confused. He looks like he needs a hot chocolate and a hug :)))) 

12. Lego Batman Movie - Low key an icon. What I would do to get my hands on one of these sets… I would come close to killing someone for it

11. DC Lego Super Villains - If he wasn't Lego I would propose (Shane Dawson style) Once again what I would do for the very discontinued Lego set tie in…

10. Batman: Brave and The Bold - Those cheekbones could cut someone. Why are you wear a mini skirt… take it off ;)

9. Suicide Squad (comic) - Yes I know he was drinking and driving but he's not real so it doesn't count!!! The beginning of the Boomer Mobile! THE GAP TOOTH DUDE!

8. Justice League Unlimited S1 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ok the hairline is… bad…. But so is mine twin!! I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HIM PROPER CLOTHES AND NOT RAGS DUDE

7. Agent of Oz - is this picture is my school profile pic...yes… and??HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD AND IM GIGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Stjepan Sejic's Boomer - Choke hold and choke me...  I want to hear his voice but he can't break his mewing streak…The ungodly things I would let him do to me

5. Dark: Apocalypse War - Constantine! Boomer! GIRLS! GIRLS!! ILL SLEEP WITH BOTH OF YOU!!! I was not expecting him in this movie so I started to freak out when he showed up DUDE. PLEASE LET ME SIT ON IT

4. Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - I'm a ride he wouldn't survive… I DONT HAVE WORDS TO DECRIBE HOW I FEEL DUDE… I WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED FOR NO JOKE. Dead on the floor

3. Justice League Unlimited S2 - The glow up in REAL... had me on my hands and knees as a 3rd grader… and still on my knees today. I have never wanted someone to fuck me in the back alleyway of a shit bar so bad in my life

2. Batman: Assault on Arkham - The one that started it all… he is the reason I am this way. no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom BUT GREG ELLIS IS PUBLIC ENIME NUMDER ONE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!

AND THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!! WE ALL SAW IT COMING

1. Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League - I AM GNAWING ON THE IRON BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!!! He has it all, the face, the VOICE, the look, the character!!!!! It is hands down the most consistently good representation of captain boomerang out their… and its canon that's he has a big dick :D I would sell my first born to get one night…

Thank you all for reading this word vom, I am sick in the head <3

if any of the comic issues are off or something please let me know :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your our and tag me!! i need to see them <3<3<3

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts 4x20? Live Reaction

OMG I saw that there were 5 clips - obviously I didn't watch them (though I did spy A yearly visitor) - but that's like half the show?

Weird.

Steph's yearly visit! I hope it's good.

Let's GO.

The Mayor???? LOL The next town over has a dog mayor.

Side note - do either of their businesses work? They're clearly not managing well.

ITS CHRIS THE HOT DINO STRIPPER!

I doubt that will work, Jay.

Also, Isaac wants Chris back.

LOL TREVOR. He's not supporting Isaac/Chris.

That dude is high.

420.

Flower calls it a holy day.

OMG Jay.

LOL of course Flower is like "unreasonable".

All the business to the local mortuary.

SOME DIED THERE - OMFG this is TODD.

SHIT SHIT.

OMG SAM STOP. "his prom date was hacked in front of him" not the same as your "traumatic" prom.

"She's so mean and scary and they want her to like them." Wow.

LOL High Pete.

Best effort? I'm thinking that's not true.

Thor/Trevor on board.

OOOOHHHHH Steph hates him. Of course!!!

I mean, come on, like it's obvious she wouldn't be happy with him. Have they learned nothing about her in 37 years!

Steph is 17? LOL "too young for me" - "technically 55 now" "now you're too old for me."

Of course it's a lie.

That should be obvious. Of course he ran.

"That is so sad" - "Wanna comfort me" - "seriously back off"

OOOOOH Flower / Pete high as fuck - love it.

NEW GHOST LORE.

OMG Dolphins invited her to live in the underwater life.

"Creepy attic ghost"

LOL Isaac.

This is true! Go Jay. Point out the flaws.

I like it!

"Not even one of the main ghosts." HOLY SHIT.

Jay talking about Dig Dug to ... an empty room.

OOOHHHH Alberta/Hetty gossip <3

Uh Oh, Alberta & Bad boys....

Oh fuck, his name is Tad, not Todd.

Aw, Trevor "girl dad" I get in now.

Wolves?

Ooooh Nancy.

LOL Thor was the hero move mention.

OHHHH Nancy saying he is a hero!!!

Why is Steph lying? NO NO NO.

DONT DO THIS!

OMFG. Calling out the MAYOR.

FUCK. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY.

OMG. This is terrible.

You all make them look like a fool.

the wolves ate their butlers???

LOL "BERTIE!"

Jazz man? How did he turn it on??

LOL you're right.

She lies! A lot.

They had a vigil? Awww.

Awwww, he was dating her BFF a week later.

Drown in a water bed?

New ghost orientation??? Thor agrees.

Awww, I get that. It hurts.

A MOMENT????

HOLY FUCK - HE HANDED HER. Just like she did to him.

HOLY SHIT. AWWWWW he won't be a cheater <3. Love you Pete.

Awww Trevor is like "you did a hero move".

Sam saying they were high <3

You get no help for anything.

Oh shit. Melanie!

OH SAM.

Ooooh they found solace with each other. They named their daughter Stephanie!

Steph was not as moved as maybe someone else would be.

Ohhh he's going to help.

"The munchies are the drugs - I died too soon man." <3

I can't believe that he bought that - although TBF Sam does seem high talking to the ghosts.

OMG Trevor, Hetty, Steph and Flower are so high!

Oh Flower ...

Aw, Trevor worries about ppl hating him.

Holy fuck. Love this <3

SOMEONE ELSE CAN SEE GHOSTS. I want Kyle to hang out more.

[kosije]

fratboy!gojo official chapter 1.5 ;) rewritten to hell and back!!!

cw: fem! afab reader, cheating boyfriend, mini panic attack, sub reader, unprotected sex, gojo aint shit, reader is has low self esteem

"C'mon babe, just give me one more chance. I love you. She was just a mistake!"

"You slept with her 8 times."

"I'm sorry. Who's talking to you?"

You don't know what to do. You have half of a mind to ask him 'why' before you feel Max’s arms around you.

“You have some fucking nerve even showing your face to her. go slip into some other bitch, loser.”

“How about you let her speak for herself, huh? This doesn’t involve you.”

“Andrew I,” It’s pathetic the way you’re shaking, but when you lift from your friend's arms and see the reassuring nod she gives you, your heartbeat slows. “I just- I won't take you back. Please, just go.” you’re shaking like a leaf in the wind and you almost wince when you see his mouth open again. But he doesn’t speak. For a second you think you see a flash of remorse, but then anger is so hot on his face you don't even recognize him.

“Whatever, not even worth the trouble.” and then he’s just stalking off.

You should feel relieved, happy even. But you don't. in fact, ou feel you’re gonna throw up at any moment. Your arm is wrapped around your chest as you try to ground yourself.

Concrete. breathe in. grass. Breathe out.

There's concrete, grass, and people. Breathe in.

There's concrete, grass, people, and trees. Breathe out.

“-Hey! Did you hear me?”

Vision clearing, you blink up at the voice. You almost forgot Max was here. Her hazel eyes are full of worry, and you think for a second that you’ve died and are being held by an angel.

 Her wine-red hair is in pretty beach waves and her tan skin glows under the fall sun. When your eyes focus on her glossed lips, you realize again that she’s talking.

“Huh? 'm sorry, what was that?”

she’s stroking your hair out of your face with a pout. 

“Nena, you look so drained already. 'Was just saying that I can miss this one lecture and we can go home, just for today.”

you appreciate the concern, so much so you hug deeper into the crook of her neck.

“'m okay. Plus, we are already here.”

You can feel her sigh into the crown of your head. “Alright, but if you ever want to leave-”

“I know.” You still have a sickly feeling in your gut, but her embrace makes the weight lighter. “I’ll tell you, promise.”

“Ok, Nena. Let’s go.”

...

you should’ve gone home.

Actually, that’s a lie. If you did you would miss the lecture on what you need to focus on for your next midterm. But as you gaze at the familiar blue in front of your eyes, you think about how if you were maybe a second faster to leave you wouldn’t be frozen like how you are now. You’re sweating out your cardigan for sure.

“Remember me?"

He knows the answer to that question.

...

"Your uber is almost here! Make sure you call me once you get there, and text me quarterly!"

"I will, don't worry!" you know why she's so nervous to let you go to a party alone and as much as you would prefer her there with you, she has to study. You've spent the past 3 weeks crying, eating, and crying some more. Getting cheated on is horrible. But getting cheated on by your high school sweetheart, who you've been with for 3 years, with his friend's sister? It's all you've been thinking about despite all of yo ur efforts to make it stop. Today is about you. Today has to be about you, because you’re losing yourself. You're gonna go to this party, let loose, have fun, and forget about him. Even if you have your qualms about going to parties alone. 

You pull out your shortest dress, wear your hair how you like, and put on your favorite perfume. When Max sees you, she smiles.

"What a bad girl!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

It's enough of a reassurance that you smile and turn to look for shoes to wear. You're just about to pull out heels when she stops you.

"Short platforms, Hermana. You'll get sores on your feet with anything higher."

you let her pull down heels for you and, with one last tight hug, she goes over everything in your purse.

"Phone?"

"Yup."

"Portable charger?"

"Yup."

"Cash?"

"Always."

"Pepper spray?"

"mhm."

"Keys." instead of speaking, you curl your finger around the jump ring and twirl them around your fingers.

"Okay. okay, yeah, you're set," she says, mostly to herself.

"Max?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm nervous." 

"Don't be," she hums, smoothing your hair and then the neckline of your dress. "You‘ll knock ‘em dead. Just be safe."

"Thank you, I dunno what I'd do without you," you coo, kissing her cheek.

"I know! Have fun!"

...

The party sucks. Not because of food, music, or drinks. Not because of the conversation you’ve been making with familiar faces, or the occasional eyes that fall from your eyes to your chest and legs, and shy question of if you’re open to a date after ‘what happened with that guy.’” And then you’re reminded why you came here before saying “you’re not interested in anything serious at the moment.” Then as you’re on your way to the bathroom, you see him. And when you see him, you see her. And suddenly the fruity drinks turned to shots, and slight swaying turned into tipsy grinding, and then you’re dragging somebody to the couch in tears.

"That piece of shit had the nerve to show his face around here after what he did! I never deserved that! I was there for him it his lowest, then that- that son of a bitch threw it all in my face!"

"Aww baby, what a dick."

"And- and he even," you're sniffling when a hand cups your cheek, wiping away stray tears as you talk the exact thing you were supposed to forget about. "He even gave her the sweater I bought for him! It has our initials on it, not theirs!"

"that's horrible!" it comes out in a gasp, and suddenly you're being pulled against someone's chest. You forget how you got here, nor do you know who’s crystal blue eyes you're looking into, but they sure are pretty. You're just about rolling off his chest to fill your cup again before he reaches into his jean pocket and dangles something in your face.

"Do ya smoke, sweetheart?" he says with a wicked smile and you just nod. Part of you recognizes the man in front of you, so you rationalize that as a good enough excuse. You've seen his white hair somewhere; you just can't place your finger on it.

You don't dwell on it much longer when you see his pink tongue peek from his lips and lick the backwood shut. It's not inherently dirty, but it is enough to make your thighs clench. His hand disappears back into his pocket as he fishes out a lighter, and you're so enamored that your hands find his chest and you gasp. He's ripped. But all he does is smile, take a long drag from his blunt, and then your senses are clouded with smoke.

"Hey!" you're telling him off, but when the smoke clears, he's smirking. You swat his chest in response, but then you're only reminded of how firm he feels under his white tee. And now he’s poking at your sides.

"What's wrong?"

"Quit it!"

"Quit what?" His fingers only speed up, and you're pouting at him to hold back the laugh threatening to escape from you. Heat blooms everywhere he touches, and he keeps it up until your hands trap around his wrist. Seeming bored, he sets his hand on your thigh and brings the blunt to your lips. The next immeasurable amount of minutes is spent rotating it without a word, and the more you smoke, the lighter you feel, and the more your thighs seem to rub together. The heat pooling between your legs only gets worse when his hand squeezes your thigh, and the whine you let out is hard to decider if it was in your head or not.

"Are you apart of this?"

He hums a question, but when you gesture to the surrounding party, he 'ahs' in understanding.

"You don't know? I'm a part of this fraternity."

"I don't even know your name."

Now he genuinely looks surprised, "It's Satoru."

Satoru...? The name sends a pang of recognition through your head, but you can't place it completely. No doubt that he's popular, though. When you tell him your name, he grins.

"That's a pretty name, sweetheart. Fits a pretty girl like you."

And despite your better judgment, you bask in the compliment. The heat between your thighs has turned into slick and there’s no doubt that this party is proving to be beneficial.

“So, you're a jock?" you try to ask it in a steady voice, but with how hazy you're feeling from the weed you doubt it comes out stable.

"Something like that." he laughs, but it's all too vague.

"Is that why you joined?" he takes another long drag and passes the blunt to you, this time blowing the smoke out of your face.

"I joined for a friend," and when that answer doesn't please you, he goes on. "I have a friend, I'm really close to him so I joined the same fraternity as him when he asked. I don't mind it, being in a fraternity has its props, i.e; this party."

His voice is so nice. "You seem like the party type."

He just shrugs and puts the blunt out on a random coaster. "I just like fun, sweetheart. Plus, the desserts are always the best part."

That catches your attention. "Right!" you gush, practically jumping up. You think you hear him groan, but you are faded.

"I never would've thought a frat party would carry the best desserts I've ever had.

"Glad you like it. Especially since I put the word in for it."

"Shut up!"

"I'm serious!”

you open your mouth to speak, but something buzzes in the purse next to you and you suddenly remember you haven't texted Max in almost an hour.

"Hey girl u good?"

"???"

"If you're dead I'll kill u,"

"Imsosorryimokaydontworry! 1,"

"K stay safe"

"Did you hear me?"

You snap your head up and see eyes that were icy blue, now a clouded cerulean. "What?"

"I said, it's getting crowded. Do you wanna go upstairs?"

You look around. It looks about the same to you. When you look back at him and his pretty face, you can't find it in you to say no, so you just nod and slide off his lap. Standing up, you get a bit dizzy off your high and grip Satoru's hand to keep from falling flat on your face. And that’s when you realize he's much, much taller than you.

He doesn't seem to mind how tightly you’re holding onto him, even smiling down at you before leading you somewhere up a flight of stairs. Your heart feels like it may beat out of your chest when he pushes past a door that you can just tell isn't his. The room is small, just a bed, closet, and dresser, and none of the trophies on it have his name on them.

“You know, your ex is an idiot.”

You can feel his hands run over your arms when he says it and you’re sighing into him, with your head falling weakly over his shoulder. You know what he wants, and you can't bring yourself to push off him when you feel how his breath fans over your ear and his rock-hard erection brushes against your back.

“You want me to show you better? Give you what you deserve?”

all you do is whine and then he’s kissing down your shoulders and sliding the straps of your dress off.

“Give me an answer, baby. Let me hear you say it.”

And you do. In a breathy gasp, you ask, “Please,” and feel him smile into the crook of your neck before pulling back. You know what he wants, and you can’t bring yourself to push his off, because you want it too.

“Then how about you show me just how pretty you are under that dress, hmm?”

And again, as if on a spell, you do. In slow and shaky hands, you remove your dress, mentally cursing yourself for not choosing a cuter set to have worn under. You sit on the bed to take off your shoes. Your heart doubles when you look up at him through heavy eyes from where you sit to see him mirroring your expression. 

“Knew you’d be so pretty. You’re a real sight, sweetheart,” he groans, rolling his palm over his erection with a shiver.

You’re dripping from the praise. Blame it on your destroyed self-esteem, but you haven’t felt this desire in a while. You want to shy away from it, but his fingers run down your clothed slit and you lose yourself. He doesn’t waste time once he feels how wet you are already, just huffs out a laugh and peels your underwear and bra from your sweaty body and groans. 

Your eyes are glued to the way he strips his shirt off, showing his defined stature, but when he kicks off his pants, your mouth practically waters at the sight of his cock on full display. He's much bigger than your ex.

“I’ll fuck him out of your head, baby. Don’t bother thinkin’ about anything but my dick.”

…

You couldn’t think of anything else if you tried. He’s bullied himself so deep inside you, you can barely cover your cries with your palm. Satoru rams into you with so much fervor that the bed is squeaking. And when he hits the spot that has you seeing stars, all you can get out is ‘Thank you,’ repeatedly, gripping onto anything you can for a sense of stability.

One hand closes around your throat while the other draws circles on your clit and tears stream down your face as your back arches into him in the bliss of your orgasm washing over you.

“Fuck- so pretty like that. Tell me who fucks you this good. Who makes your pretty pussy cum the hardest?"

"You do! Jus' you Satoru!" that seems to do it, because his bottom lip is sucked between his teeth and his hips are stuttering.

‘m close- fuck tell me where you want it. Want me to come over those pretty tits, babe? Or maybe all over that face, hmm?” on a whim, your thighs close around him.

“Inside. I want you inside. 'm- ahh- ahn the pill, promise,”

And he doesn’t even get another thrust in before you feel him fill you up in airy groans. He rides out his orgasm inside you in frenzied thrust, so when he pulls out you both shudder at the loss of contact. He gathers your clothes up and helps you shimmy back into them, not bothering to hide how pleased he is when you pull your underwear up, trapping the seed that’s dripped out of you. You watch him dress while you run your hand through his hair, laying down the tufts that have fluffed up. You look up at him, to see him already looking at you. And this time it’s not at your lips or tits, but you, and you feel so embarrassed you back away.

buzz!

A chill runs down your spine at the ringing “Oh shit!”

“what’s wrong?”

“M-my roommate!” You say, hands frantically rummaging through the sheets before hearing your bag drop into the floor and pulling your phone out. “Shit! I should’ve been there 30 minutes ago!”

“Hey, it’s alright. I can take you home.”

“No, no, it’s okay, I’ll just get an Uber.” but he’s already picking your bag up and walking out of the room through a group of boys who recognize what happened by the way their eyes widen when they see you stumble after Satoru but say nothing.

When you plop into the passenger seat of his car, you don't know what to think. Should you have done that? At a party at that? He didn't even take you to his room. It's not long until you're simultaneously fighting the urge to puke and fall asleep, but you can’t tell if it’s regret or alcohol. The drive to your dorm is short, and when he reaches the building he rounds the car, opening the door and holding his hand out to you with a boyish expression, you smile to yourself

"What’s got you smilin’ like that?" he mused, easily lifting you from where you sat and steading you with another hand on your lower back.

"Nothing in particular . Just happy," he doesn’t respond to that, just squeezes your hand a bit.

...

"Is that who you were talking to? Oh, my- did you guys fuck?"

"Max, let me sleep." You know she heard that through the pillow you have over your face, but she doesn't pay it any mind.

"The QB, huh? He's a total upgrade from ese cabrón."

QB?

"QB! That's how I knew him! He's the fucking quarterback!"

"Did you seriously not remember... he's has an article written every other day."

"It blanked on me, I guess. I just kept thinking he looked so familiar."

"That's like when girls used to read at concerts to seem mysterious." She's giggling at first, but when your pillow hits her square in her face, she's practically rolling on the floor.

"So, what now? Gonna be a cheerleader to live out that cliche?"

You roll your eyes at her, but a part of you feels disappointed when you think about how things will be now.

"Doesn't matter. Not like it meant anything."

...

“Remember me?"

Of course, you do.

"No."

He knows you're lying. You can tell by the way his smile deepens despite your words. His head dips to yours, just a nudge away from your lips.

"Oh~ Satoru! Thank you! Thank y-" You slap your hands over his mouth and frantically look around the halls to see if anyone noticed. Thankfully, most people are more focused on Satoru as they walk by and not on your flustered expression.

"Why are you here, Gojo?" it's not that the sight of him doesn't make you nervous, much less his proximity. But you genuinely do not know why he's talking to you.

"Oh, so we're on a last names basis now? ‘ts not fair, though. I don't even know your last name, sweetheart. Should I just use mine?" he hums, obviously not worried about your apprehension.

"Wait? No? Wh-"

"No?" He pouts, batting his eyelashes. You know it's a joke, but your heart still drops.

"I don't mean 'no' like 'no,' I just- I don't know why you're talking to me. Or how you knew how to find me."

He just shrugs, grinning. “I would love to answer all of those questions… preferably over a nice meal.” his hand falls to his stomach and his head falls to his shoulder. “‘m just so hungry, sweetheart.”

You know what he’s getting at. And maybe if he wasn’t so damn cute, you’d say no. but you can’t ignore that airy feeling floating around you as he smiles at your meek nod. As shallow as it may be, you can’t help the validation you feel at just the idea of someone like Gojo would even give you the time of day. You find that he at least acts like a gentleman. Opening the car door for you. Walking on the side closest to the street. Opening the door to the diner for you.

It’s a homey thing. black-and-white checkered tiles, red walls with tons of polaroids and framed pictures of food and happy families, and a shiny red jukebox that steals your attention.

“Hello, how may I- why are you here?”

“I missed u too, Hime,” he cooed, batting his eyelashes toward a very unamused girl. “Don’t be shy~ I know you missed your favorite customer.”

“Missed you like the plague.” She sneers with a creased brow. Her hand taps on the screen in front of her before flipping her navy-blue pigtails over her shoulders, revealing a name tag that reads “Utahime.”

“Let me show you to your table,” she says, and you don’t miss the way she shoves Gojo out of the way with her shoulder when she walks past him. She guides you two to a booth in the diner's corner with seats the same shade as the walls and tells you that someone ‘will be with you shortly’ after walking away, not without throwing another nasty look at Gojo, and a simple nod to you.

“I’m her best friend , she just has a hard time showing it,” he says, readjusting himself on the leather seats.

“You woulda had me fooled…” you mumble, a little startled when he laughs in response. It’s oh-so warm and you let yourself bask in it quietly, forgetting what you came here for.

but after a bit of conversation over the menu and your orders, you build up enough courage to ask.

“So, what did you need?”

“Hmm?” and the way he tilts his head at the question makes your face warm.

“You took the effort to find my class, must need something important from me.” you say, listening to the buzz from the large overhead fan above you, and the smooth jazz coming from somewhere behind you.

“you’re right,” he says, turning at the same time to thank the server for your food s. “there actually is something important that I need.”

oh?

“You know,” he says, picking around his food with his head resting on his palm. “Ever since we slept together, I can't stop thinking about you.”

oh?

“It’s only been a night!” you squeak, quieting down when you see a server walk by.

“I know. I can’t get you off my mind.”

“So?”

“Don't you wanna get over your stupid ex-boyfriend? he's a real sight for sore eyes, and by that, I mean painful to look at. Especially compared to my looks.”

“I'm not interested!” you whine through your teeth, crushing your straw.

“But then, how else should I calm my heart?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don't you get it, doll?” he asks, waving his fork in a circle toward you. “I'm mad for you.”

You almost choke on your drink. Gojo Satoru, mad for you. It’s either a fairytale come true or a sick joke. “But then, what is it you want from me?”

“A chance. A fair one. Let me prove to you that your ex is an idiot.”

[ladylooch]

Five More Minutes

Request: EHEM. Flash back day material. Please tell me all about girl dad Connor wood absolutely losing his shit over his stell bell going off the college. Moving in, him wanting to call 24/7, lucie having to prevent him from driving there every weekend. Tell me everything. 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️@missjomarch

Word Count: 3k

“What the fuck is in this thing?” Lio hisses to Connor as they tag team carrying up Stella’s Louis Vuitton trunk to the fourth floor of her MIT dorm. “And with how much tuition you guys are paying to send her to school here, how the fuck is the elevator broken?”

“If you hadn’t let yourself go post-hockey this wouldn’t be an issue, Meier.” Connor throws over his shoulder as he readjusts his hold on his handle.

“I can still bench more than you, fucker.”

“Boys.” Savannah sighs. “This pissing contest is already annoying.”

“He started it.” Lio defends himself to his wife. 

“Cut him some slack.” Savannah says. 

“Are you letting her keep this here?” Lio asks skeptically of the trunk, changing the subject.

“No. We told her she needs to unpack this and it’s coming home with us.”

“That’s good.” Lio advises. “No college student needs this in their dorm.”

“No kid needs this period.” Savannah says.

“Kay. I’ll remember that when you two get Gracie a Porsche for her 16th birthday.” Connor huffs as they take the last flight of stairs.

“She wants a Jeep.” Lio dismisses Connor. To his wife, “You sure I should cut him some slack?”

“Porsche.” Savannah gasps. “Not even when she’s 40.” 

“I sincerely hope this is it.” Lio mumbles as they walk through the doorway of Stella’s dorm. Lucie is in there with Stella and Winnie, searching through a few boxes. 

“Here they are.” Lucie announces, pulling out the sheets for the bed. “Crawl up there and I’ll toss you everything.” She advises her daughter. Stella climbs up giggling at how wiggly the bed is.

“Mama, did you have a lofted bed?” She asks.

“No.” Lucie smirks, catching Connor’s eye.

“Thank God.” He smirks.

“You still woulda done it.” Lio jokes.

“Done what?” Winnie asks.

“Studied.” Connor answers, rubbing her head with his hand. His smirk dies when he thinks about the reality of the things he was doing to his wife when she was a Freshman at NYU. “Don’t study in that bed.” Connor points at Stella. His daughter rolls her eyes as Lucie shoots him a glare.

“Don’t be weird.” Stella mutters. 

Stella and Lucie continue to work on the sheets and accessories for her bed while the rest of the group unloads the LV trunk the boys just hauled up. A lot of it is books and shoes which has Lio grumbling about how Stella needs to learn how to pack before they come back to move her out. 

“I’ll probably be busy that weekend. Just a coincidence not on purpose.” Lio jokes. 

“Uncle Lee, consider it practice for Gracie!” Stella laughs as she comes down from her bed. 

“Hey.” Lio complains. “It’s hard enough that we are doing this for you today. We don’t need to talk about Gracie leaving me too.”

“I could have gone to Stanford.” Stella reminds him, like he should be grateful.

“You should have.” Sav chuckles. “West coast! Sunshine!… Distance…” She says the last part quietly, earning a sneer from Connor.

“In the Bay Area????” Lio laughs. 

“We have to get going. We have to get to Gracie’s school by 3:00.” Savannah says after a check of her watch. “I can leave Lio here it you still need muscle?”

“No, we are done.” Connor says. “Gracie would have been more help than your husband anyway.” Savannah slaps Connor in the stomach as he walks by.

“I’m done with your shit.” She mouths the last word, winking before pulling him in for a hug. “Try not to die. See you for dinner Thursday.” 

Hugs are shared all around the room before Lio and Savannah depart. Connor and Lucie busy themselves with helping Stella unpack as much as they can. Winnie crawls up into Stella’s bed and declares it would actually be pretty nice studying up there. Eventually, Stella’s roommate comes in and begins to move in too. It becomes a hot and cramped space with everybody moving around, so once the essentials of Stella’s items are unpacked, Lucie and Connor know it’s time for them to clear out.

Every step of Connor’s towards the car aches. Stella and Lucie have their arms linked together as Stella points out a few key points around campus that they can see from the lawn of her dorm. Winnie holds onto Connor’s hand, using him for balance so she can skip and jump and twirl to whatever music is pumping through her AirPods.

When they get to the car, the extended conversation continues. Stella asks a few questions, so does Lucie. Connor fills in a few stories and jokes to keep the mood light. But eventually, an awkward silence rests over the group.

There’s only one thing left to do and it’s their brave daughter who takes the leap.

“Okay. Well, um, I met some girls in the bathroom and they invited me to hang out…. So….” Stella murmurs. Despite her eagerness, Connor can see the mistiness building in her eyes.

“Okay. Yeah! You should do that! Go have fun, baby.” Lucie says brightly. Her voice waivers in a way that Connor clocks immediately. Winnie ducks in between the two, hugging Stella first.

“Bye!”

“Bye, Win.” Stella sucks in a deep breath as she hugs her sister. “FaceTime me about homecoming outfits next week.”

“Okay.” Winnie says, stepping aside. 

Lucie pulls her sunglasses down from her head, then hugs Stella to her body tenderly. She murmurs things into her ear that Connor can’t hear through the blood rushing inside his head. How is he going to do this? How is he going to get in that car and drive away, leaving half his word behind?

58 minutes, he reminds himself. She is only 58 minutes from home.

“Bye daddy. Thanks for helping move me in.” Stella mumbles into his chest as they hug.

“You’re welcome. I can’t wait to see what you do with all your decorations.”

“Me too!” Stella exclaims. She’s already pulling away, but Connor isn’t ready for this hug to end. He needs 5 more minutes.. hours.. days.. years.. of this moment with her. Stella senses it and remains in his arms. 

You have to let go, he reminds himself. His fingers curl into fists on her back, then he does the hardest part of all this and lets go. He fakes a smile to Stella. She returns it with a genuine one, looking brave and excited for what is next when she walks away from this moment.

“Be safe okay?”

“I will.”

“Call if you need anything?”

“Okay.” She nods, looking away from him to a few college aged boys who walk past without parents. They wave at Stella and Connor clocks every one of their steps until they’re well down the sidewalk.

“Stay away from them.”

“Okay! Well, we will let you go hang out with some new friends.” Lucie pats Connor’s arm, encouraging him to follow her to the car. Winnie is already buckled inside, singing along to a pop song like she’s on The Voice. Connor doesn’t move, but Stella begins to retreat backwards anyway.

“Drive safe!” She calls to them once she is a few feet away. 

“We will! Bye!” Lucie waves, nudging Connor to do the same. He lifts his arm but doesn’t move his hand. Not that it matters, Stella already has her back to them as she weaves around the clumps of kids and their parents.

“We should go.” Lucie whispers. “Traffic is going to be awful… and this isn’t getting any easier.”

Nope, he can’t do it. If he’s in the driver’s seat, they aren’t leaving this campus.

Connor digs into his pocket, grabbing the keys before handing them over to his wife.

His hands fingers tremble as the metal drops into Lucie’s palm. She immediately heads to the driver’s seat, strong and sure. But for Connor, stepping out of that hug was harder than anything he’s experienced in the last 10 years, and he exclusively taught Stella how to drive.

“Fuck.” Connor whispers to himself as his palm hits the door handle. He gazes across the top of the car at Stella where she walks back to the entrance of her dorm. Her steps are slow, calculated. Her form blurs into color from his tears. Then she turns around and looks over her shoulder at him. Connor can see her tears on her cheeks. 

He knows what she needs.

“Come here, baby.” He calls to her. Stella turns and sprints to him. Connor smothers his tears and emotions, turning into the solid but gentle rock of a father that she knows. He catches her in his arms as he has a million times since she came into this world. “It’s okay.” Stella’s breathing hitches as she nods into his shoulder.

“What if I’m not smart here? What if people don’t like me?”

“Both of those things are impossible, Stell.” He assures her. He kisses her hair, then sets her back on her feet. His big hands cup her cheeks, smoothing away her tears. “And if somehow they’re not, I’m 58 minutes away. I can be here in 30 though.” Stella cracks a smile as two more tears race down her cheeks. Her eyes look up at him, innocent, like she’s still his little girl even though she isn’t.

“Okay.” She inhales, blinking rapidly. “Let’s try this again. Bye daddy.” She hugs him tightly around the middle, so hard it almost hurts him. Connor is gentler, big hands and arms expanding to soak up as much of her as possible, then he does the second hardest thing he’s done today and he lets her go again.

“Bye baby.” He whispers, more confidently, but not any louder for fear of losing his words completely. 

Stella gives a small wave, then turns to walk back to her dorm. This time she doesn’t turn around to look at him.

“This is way worse than Kindergarten drop off.” Connor exhales when he falls into his seat.

Lucie giggles through her tears.

“She’s okay?” Lucie asks him.

“Yeah.” Connor confirms, putting a hand on her thigh. 

Even though it’s true, Connor still cries in the passenger seat the whole drive home.

+ + + 

The anticipation that Connor feels right now rivals how he felt going into key games when he played in the NHL. His excited nerves make it difficult for him to sit still, so the second the clock ticks to 9:00am, he hops on his John Deere mower and rolls through the yard with a coffee in his hand. He needed a task to pass the time until Stella arrives home from college. She’s only coming for dinner, but after not having her around the house for three weeks, Connor will take what he can get.

He bounces his knee up and down as he trolls over the yard meticulously, checking over his shoulder every so often that his lines are cutting smooth and straight. Stella deserves the best for her first family dinner back from college. After the lawn, Connor cleans up the garage, then heads inside to clean up in there too. Lucie is out with Winnie at soccer practice then grabbing some additional groceries for the week. 

Tonight they are keeping dinner simple at Stella’s request. All she wants is her favorite pizza stop, Garcon, to be delivered and some Sprite. Easy enough. That leaves more free time for Connor to catch up with his favorite college kid. 

Lucie and Winnie come home around 2:00. Connor helps unload the grocery bags then Winnie wanders upstairs to her room to grab her homework. She sets up at the kitchen table so she can finish her school work before her sister gets here. 

“Have you heard from Stell?” Lucie asks. “I thought she would be on her way by now.”

“I haven’t. I’m sure she will be soon though.” Connor kisses her cheek, holding her around the waist as she unpacks the last grocery bag.

“In that case, do you mind grilling these up for lunches?” She asks, handing him a pack of maple and apple brats.

“Of course.” He pats her butt as he grabs the package from her. He heads out to the deck, turning the grill on before going back inside. “Maybe I’ll call her?” He says to Lucie where she is working on washing the fruit she brought home.

“Yeah. I feel like it’s weird we haven’t heard from her.” Lucie shakes her head. “Like I’m sure she is fine, but maybe she’s running late? I don’t want the pizza to get here before her.” 

Connor nods, grabbing his phone from the kitchen island where it was charging. He navigates to favorites, calling Stella on speaker phone.

“Hey.” Stella answers, sounding out of breath. 

“Hey! Mama and I are calling together. You on your way, baby?” Connor asks, hearing the wind whipping around the speaker on her end.

“Um.” Stella sighs then pauses. “I don’t think I’m going to make it up today.”

Heartbreak rocks through Connor. He looks at his wife who cringes.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah! Everything is good! I just… I have some homework to get caught up on, but also, I got invited to this really cool event on campus that’s for Freshman. The whole hallway is going and… I don’t want to miss out. Can we move dinner to next weekend?”

Connor puts his head in his hands, letting the backs of them rest against the kitchen counter.

“Dad is crashing out.” Winnie rats him out immediately.

“I’m sorry!” Stella pouts on the other line. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise!”

“It’s okay, Stell.” Lucie chimes in as the voice of reason. “It’s good you’re spending time with people and making friends. And making homework a priority too.” Lucie’s hand goes to Connor’s back. She rubs him there then gives him an encouraging pat, wanting him to reaffirm what she just said.

“Yeah, baby. We love that.” Lucie nods along to Connor’s words. “And we’ll see you when you can get home.” His voice is deeper, like he is putting more effort into his words than he should. Lucie kisses his bicep, keeping her hand on his back for support. 

“Okay! Thank you! I promise I’ll come home next weekend!”

But next weekend comes and there is a text to her parents on Friday that it won’t work. This time, there are no promises of a reschedule. 

Connor takes it personally, even more so when she is over an hour late for their Sunday check in call that same weekend. This one is usually just her and him, not Lucie or Winnie, so they can have their best buddy time as the two of them. When he finally hears from her, it’s for two minutes when she suddenly has to get off the phone because the funniest thing is happening in Kelsey and Miranda’s room. But she will definitely call Connor back when that’s over. 

That’s not soon enough for Connor. 

He bursts back into the house from the deck where he took her call, gaining the attention of Winnie and Lucie. His wife is watching the food network while Winnie has her art project going at the kitchen table. Connor marches inside, kicking off his house shoes and stuffing his feet into his sneakers. He grabs his wallet and keys from the kitchen counter, shoving them into his jeans. 

“Babe?” Lucie asks curiously.

“I’m going to Cambridge.”

“Uh…” Lucie mutes the tv. “Does Stella know you’re going?”

“No.” Connor says. “I don’t need to ask her permission to go there. It’s a free country.” Lucie’s eyebrows raise. Her and Winnie share a look before Lucie hauls herself off the couch. Connor goes to the fridge to grab himself a Coke Zero for the road. Before he can head towards the garage, Lucie intercepts him.

“Pause.” She closes her eyes and holds a hand up to him. If she tries to make him do her stupid meditating breathing, he’s gonna lose his mind.

“No.” He snaps, getting a little mean with his scowl at her. Lucie doesn’t back down. Annoyingly, she softens, looking at him like he’s the most pathetic man she has ever seen in his life. Or so Connor assumes. “I waited all day for her to call!” He howls. “And then she gives me two minutes. Something isn’t right… She isn’t telling us everything or something because why would she do that?”

“Babe.” She murmurs gently. “She’s having fun. I know it’s hard not seeing and talking to her every day. But it’s not personal.” Her fingers crawl over to his stomach, pulling his hip to her so she can hug him. Connor whimpers, slumping dejectedly into Lucie’s frame.

“I miss her.” Connor chokes. 

“I know you do.” Lucie sighs. She turns her face into his cheek, kissing along his beard. “We miss her too.” Not like me!!!! Connor wants to yell. But even in the midst of this chaos, he knows that isn’t true. 

Stella has been at school for weeks now, but Connor still feels so unprepared for this moment in parenthood. He handled the teething, first steps and words, diapers, Kindergarten with such ease. But he always felt like there was more time before he had to prepare for this. For his daughter to be a full blown adult, out in the world, where he doesn’t even know what she had for breakfast that morning. His eyes shift over to where Winnie is still working on her sketches.

“It’s okay. Winnie is never going to leave us.” Connor says, squeezing Lucie. Winnie looks up, grinning at him with a mouthful of braces. This month’s colors are black and red in support of Stella’s new school.

“Yeah!” She pushes off from the table and rushes over to them, diving into her parents’ bodies. Connor and Lucie engulf her with their arms. Then they both press a kiss on either side of her head, soaking in this moment. 

They know how fleeting their time is now. 

They can’t afford to waste a second.

Because when they first built this house, Stella was twirling around in that living room, singing on her karaoke machine.

Now she doesn’t live here anymore.

Read more about Lucie, Connor and their girls here.

[shslbunnylover]

★★★𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙢★★★

Character: Morticia Addams

Requester: @batlove4ever

Taglist: @inlovewithgreta (Message me to be a part of the taglist until I get a page set up!!)

Trigger warnings (DL, DI): N/A

Genre: Headcanons

A/n: Thanks for requesting batlove4ever!! Loved writing this!! (ALSO THIS GIF IS SO HOT)

Word count: 0.5k

...

...

-Morticia would be confused on why you were suddenly tossing and turning around in your large bed even with her in the bed in you, she had gotten the comfiest mattress for you just to make sure her cuervo was comfortable and would get a good night's rest while she was away watching the moon until 3am.

-She sent Thing to spy on you whenever you would disappear into the library, promising him a day off if he collected information on why you were so tired yet not getting any sleep at the same time

-The moment Thing brought back the news of your upcoming exam at Nevermore University, she immediately saw all the pieces falling together. Your sudden lack of eating, spending more time in the library, staying up later, and even pushing down a date with the excuse of being tired (Which she understood).

-You were confused as she started holding you tighter when you were cuddling together, and you got even more confused when you would catch Thing handing you glasses of water throughout the day.

-That night when you didn't come to bed, Morticia immediately knew that you were still in the library, and so she stood up and made her way down the hallway to the room you currently occupied.

-She called out to you as she sneaked up behind you, placing her hand on your stack of books as she tapped her nails against the hardback, startling you.

-You immediately looked at the clock, internally cursing yourself for how long you had been studying. When she asked you what was going on, you explained everything (after some prodding from the older woman).

-She guided you back to bed, massaging your shoulders once you had comfortably buried yourself in her body.

-The next day, she woke you up with Thing carrying breakfast on a nice silver tray and told you that she would be helping you study.

-After breakfast, she brought you to the library and closed the curtains so that no light other than her candles was in the room.

-She told you that you would be studying for 25 minutes, and then take a 5-minute break, as the therapist at Wednesday's school had talked about to the young girl (Despite Wednesday not giving two shits).

-She'd accompany you, reading her own horror novels and snipping roses of stems and making sure you took a break when you were supposed to and drank water.

-Wednesday would occasionally come in, rolling her eyes at her mother's sappy nature towards you.

-Once the exam date came, your girlfriend wouldn't stop peppering your face with kisses, telling you that when you got home, the two of you could watch all of your favorite movies and Thing would be your personal maid for the rest of the night.

-And when you got home, she fulfilled that promise <3

...

If you enjoyed reading this, don't forget to like, reblog and comment! Thank you and you are loved <3

-Akira

[the-most-humble-blog]

How Disney Turned Star Wars Into Boner Kryptonite: A Deep Dive Into the Feminist Force That Ruined the Galaxy

“The Rise of Space Wokeness and the Fall of Male Dignity”

Let’s be real: Disney didn’t just buy Star Wars—they neutered it, slapped it with glitter, and handed the reins to writers who probably think the original trilogy is “problematic.” What used to be a testosterone-fueled space opera has devolved into a pastel-colored girl-brand where the Force is female, men are morons, and any trace of male empowerment has been sent to a galaxy far, far away.

And now, we have The Acolyte: a masterclass in how to make straight men everywhere vomit in their popcorn. Let’s talk about it.

1. Lesbian Space Witches: “We Don’t Need Men, Except to Kill Them”

So, The Acolyte introduces us to the concept of “lesbian space witches,” because apparently Star Wars wasn’t edgy enough. These witches spend their screen time practicing dark magic, wielding the Force, and reminding us that men are the root of all galactic problems.

Disney didn’t just go for girl power—they went for girl annihilation. It’s like they sat down and said, “What’s the quickest way to alienate the OG fanbase? Oh, I know! Lesbian witches in space!”

It’s not that lesbians in space can’t work—it’s that these characters feel like someone’s feminist revenge fantasy brought to life. And when you pair it with the next atrocity, you get a franchise so off-brand it makes Ewok adventures look like cinematic genius.

2. The Acolyte and the Jedi Love Triangle of WTF

Let’s not forget the main storyline: a girl falls in love with a dude who MURDERED her entire Jedi shift. Like, brutally. I’m talking lightsabers and limbs flying everywhere. And instead of vengeance, she decides, “Yeah, he’s kind of hot, though.”

Excuse me, what? Is this Star Wars or Twilight fan fiction? Who decided that the best way to tell a compelling Jedi story was with a romantic subplot pulled straight from the “toxic relationships are sexy” playbook? Oh, but wait, there’s more!

3. The Simp Jedi: Master Sol, King of the Weaklings

Master Sol deserves a whole section to himself. Here’s a guy who raised the main character like a daughter, only to be Force choked to death by her while he whispers, “It’s alright.”

IT’S ALRIGHT?! My guy WTF? She’s killing you, and your last words are basically, “You slay, bitch!”? This isn’t character depth; it’s a PSA for male submission. Master Sol’s entire existence is a Disney wet dream of what they think men should be: apologetic, weak, and ready to die for the sake of “female empowerment.”

4. Harvey Weinstein’s Ex-Assistant: The Icing on the Shit Cake

Oh, and did I mention the show’s producer is Harvey Weinstein’s ex-personal assistant? Yes, because clearly someone with that kind of pedigree should be lecturing us about morality and misogyny.

The producer justified Master Sol’s death as “revenge against benign misogyny” and “a rite of passage for women to rebel against their fathers’ teachings.” Oh, cool, so Disney is now officially advocating patricide as a feminist milestone? Great message, guys. Let’s just skip lightsaber training and go straight to therapy.

Also, calling Master Sol’s behavior “benign misogyny” is laughable. Dude was the ultimate beta, and they still found a way to justify his death. What’s next? A Jedi knight getting canceled for mansplaining the Force?

5. The Bigger Problem: Disney’s Galactic War on Men

Disney has turned Star Wars into a shiny platform for feminist rage. Every male character is either a doormat, a villain, or completely irrelevant. Meanwhile, the female characters are written like they came from a Tumblr blog circa 2014: overpowered, underdeveloped, and painfully preachy.

The original trilogy was about balance—light and dark, male and female. Now it’s just dark-sided feminism with a splash of rainbow marketing. Where’s the grit? The stakes? The fun? It’s all gone, replaced with space witches and feminist vengeance fantasies.

Final Thoughts

Disney has taken Star Wars from epic space battles to soap opera-level drama with a side of woke virtue-signaling. And The Acolyte is the pinnacle of this mess: a show designed to make men squirm, women cheer, and the original fanbase run for the hills.

Want more unapologetic takes on the madness of modern media? Follow The Most Humble Blog for brutally honest breakdowns and enough laughs to make up for whatever Disney does next. Because let’s face it—things can only get weirder from here.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

I don't want to watch this season of yellowjackets but can you pls tell me everything that helps with Shauna and Melissa so I can have The Intel? Especially interested in know what it was that Shauna made her eat

OOHH that's such a fun questionnn!! i'd be very happy to share The Intel 🫡

IN SUMMARY: teen melissa had a crush on shauna, they made out, shauna was like okay fine, melissa quickly found out shauna is even worse than she thought, it ends on a public break up with a gun involved. and in the adult timeline, shauna thinks melissa is trying to kill her, melissa makes some weird choices, they have a fight and shauna bites off a piece of melissa's arm and makes her eat it <3

but because i love talking, i will also share a more detailed way-too-long version!

if you don't want to watch it i'm assuming you don't know anything or much about it so i'll just talk about the whole thing from zero. but let it be Known. i'm not the most reliable narrator (i might forget stuff and i don't love what happened so)

so basically! out of nowhere, melissa suddenly became an important character in the show this season. it starts with her like Noticing Shauna. staring at her, smiling, you could say it was obvious she had a crush on her, she tried to flirt and take her side talking shit about mari. THEN she basically approaches shauna one day alone in the woods, shauna freaks out shauna style and pins her to a tree with a knife to her throat, basically shauna was at a secret grave for her baby and no one was supposed to know so she felt protective and melissa was like i wont tell anyone btw i'm sorry you went through so much! they end up making out <3

it keeps going, melissa follows her around like a lovesick puppy, shauna is like okay sure as long as you dont turn out to be boring. she generally supports shauna, takes her side on everything, encourages her to be worse and seems to find it hot when shauna is a little crazy and intimidating. melissa gives her a little handmade gift, shauna is like why do you even like me? and melissa is like jackie and jeff treated you like shit but now you aren't afraid of the bad parts of yourself and i like that. later, for Reasons, shauna gives her knife and tells her to hurt coach scott and not be afraid of the scary parts of herself either, melissa does that <3 they hold their blood-covered hands and everyone watches them go back to shauna's shelter(?), i'd say it's heavily implied they have sex then <3

omg taissa and van have a conversation wondering if shauna makes melissa wear jackie's clothes when they're together (heavily confirms jackieshauna too i think!!)

things start going downhill there. because there are New People in the wilderness, and this means melissa gets shot in the chest with an arrow! and shauna leaves her to go chase those people. melissa is very pissed off shauna left her like that. but shauna did tell mari to go help her and "if she dies, you die" which was hot. when they argue about this, shauna is like 🙄🙄 but she wins melissa again by being like well i'm still thinking about killing that guy just for shooting you

HOWEVER when it seems like they might get rescued, shauna has some complicated feelings about it. she's in a REALLY bad mood, she snaps at melissa and when melissa has a friendly conversation with one of the new people shauna snaps even worse. taking out her Complicated Feelings on melissa. she calls her stupid, says no one gave a shit about her until she did, says she's nothing. eveyone watches. melissa calls her fucking crazy. and shauna aims the gun at her!!! and shots!!! close enough to rip her jacket!!!! poor girl melissa pisses her pants and shauna walks away proudly. everyone is horrified.

AND THAT WAS JUST THE TEEN TIMELINE

because, against all odds, turns out melissa is the 8th survivor!! this season, adult shauna has been experiencing weird and concerning things like uh someone turning off the lights at a public bathroom and leaving an ominous phone behind? the breaks of her car not working! and being locked in a fridge <3 she suspects someone's trying to kill her (spoiler: most of those were an accident or misty's doing) BUT she also received a mysterious tape in her doorstep. in it, there's a recording about the terrible things they did in the wilderness. long story short. she uses that to track down a house where she finds MELISSA! alive and well! after faking her death idk how many years ago! because the group excluded her after the rescue i think? and she was scared of shauna lol

adult shauna and melissa argue, shauna accuses her of trying to kill her, melissa is like no that wasn't me! i have a wife and kids! (literally!) they called each other out for a lot of stuff. but of course it turns into a physical fight. shauna i think dislocated melissa's shoulder and when she has her pinned to the ground, she bites her upper arm, rips out a piece of it, and tells melissa to eat it... which melissa absolutely does <3

after that well melissa escapes, tai van and misty find her, more arguing, more of a mess, someone dies, it's not shauna or melissa, melissa escaped again, we'll see how this ends!

[mothmans-wedding-photographer]

Mothman's Buffy Rewatch: Season 3, episodes 14 and 15, "Bad Girls" and "Consequences"

Bad Girls

Don't have a lot to write for this episode, because I watched it and then made notes, instead of making notes while watching.

That sword is kind of cool ngl

Ugh it's Wesley I didn't realize how annoying he is

Well they found the amulet pretty easily

Faith breaks in to Buffy's classroom, calls her girlfriend, and draws a heart in the window. People in that class definitely thought they were dating lmao

Buffy and Faith dancing... when times were good

WHAT EWEWEWEWEW

That demon looks very uncomfortable. His teeth remind me of Peter Pettigrew

Hmm breaking into this store seems like it'll end badly

Ew Wesley step away from that high schooler (I don't know how old he is maybe this is fine idk)

Aw shit Allan died. Like he sucked but that would be traumatizing for Faith and Buffy. Also showcases the differences between them. Buffy has more restraint and better reflexes

Wesley you fucking coward

THE CGI OF THE MAYOR'S HEAD IM CRYING

Well you certainly seemed to care right after it happened, Faith

Consequences

Faith you asshole, throwing Buffy under the bus

UGH WESLEY SHUT UP

"You nearly came to blows, Buffy. I nearly came to loss of limbs"

Oof Willow is crying in the bathroom

FAITH STOP LYING YOU SUCK AT IT

I know Faith thinks Xander wants to sleep with her, but still no means no, and Xander said no multiple times

This looks incredibly awkward

SHES CHOKING HIM

Very rare Angel W

Nobody listen to Faith about safe words

Keeping Angel away with the cross and then throwing a net on him 😭😭

Out of the chains into the handcuffs

He's curled up in the fetal position AGAIN

Ow ouchie

Slayer on the run

Just leave Wesley standing alone in the room 😭😭

That slap was so satisfying I'm ngl

Oh she's trying to help Buffy from under the boxes, she still does care

MR. TRICK DIES THIS SOON????

Faith still has hope to get better !! (<knows where the story is going and is lying to herself)

Oof Faith working with the mayor

Doppengangland

Ooooo I love this episode

Hell yeah Anya's back!

"Plus, I'm flunking math" lmaooooo

"Florist means crazy right? I never wanted to do that"

Fun fact! The scene of Willow spinning the pencil is my email profile photo

Aww happy Willow makes me happy

In this scene, she's trying to sacrifice her happiness to make Buffy feel happy and safe. This is a pattern of Willow's, putting others needs above her own, eventually leading to her own selfishness

"You want us to breed" is WILD

Her outfit in this episode is so iconic

Willow complaining about Snyder and then getting bossed around by Giles 😭😭 she does it immediately just "okay!" She's conditioned

Faith gets a nice place to live !!! Do not question the means

Still not used to Oz with black hair

Willow getting forced to cheat by the principal is wild

She's rebelling

Poor Willow she's just tired of everyone assuming she'll do whatever for them. She's always willing to help, but doesn't like feeling taken advantage of

"I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me."

Scene from the intro!!

Willow getting angry is always nice (it won't be in a few seasons)

Hot Willow is back guys!!!

Oof poor old lady

"Bored now" she said the thing!!!!

Get his ass vamp Willow!!

"Back off, stay the hell away from her!" While she's actively choking him 😭

Love how she has to announce what she's doing or feeling

Ah shit now they think Willow's dead

Ouchie

"Way better than me" LMAO?

"Jeez who died? Oh God, who died"

Aww Willow's little smile

Wholesome

"Can you believe the watcher's council let this guy go"

1,120 years old and still says "fricking"

"Why don't I believe him?" "Well he lacks credibility"

Oz is how my friends think of me

Vamp Willow's gayass

"Willow's dead. Hey Willow"

The classic walking scene they get once per episode

Willow junpscares Willow

Vamp Willow is into selfcest

"Bitch" falls over

This whole episode is just sending me why is everyone being so funny

"I think I'm kinda gay" it might seem crazy what I'm 'bout to say

Angel: erm actually 🤓

Fantastic foreshadowing though lmao

Alyson Hannigan is a great actor. Willow, however, is not

"Hi, I'm back" :)

Vamp Willow is also not a great actor

NAUR SHES GONNA HAVE TO LISTEN TO CORDELIA YAP

To be fair Cordelia and Willow should have a talk but the implication that she'd rather have Willow locked up in a cage is wild

Cordelia and the ethics of boyfriend stealing

VAMP WILLOW LOOKS SO BORED IM CRYING

Rare Wesley W

"They got Willow. So you doing anything tonight?" WILD

"Could a human do this? SCREAMS" "Yeah, sure yeah" lmao

No he ruined the pastries :(

Vamp Willow is just very bad at strangling

"Buffy no!" And she stops immediately. It's a Faith parallel

"We have a big nothing in common" except that you're both gay hehe

Aw she's hugging her :(

Immediately ruined it vamp Willow come on

LMAO SHE GOT STAKED SO FAST

I think being beat up may have helped him