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ai-manre · 3 months ago

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Following the Roses: A Meta

Having remerged into the fandom now after a long break, I was surprised to see all the currently prevailing ideas on a lot of things. It looks like the longer we go without the books, the more cycles and counter-cycles of convictions we have as a fandom, as our echo-chamber gets more intense and the contexts that much matter so much in canon fade. It was interesting to see all the different ideas and head-canons of people regarding R+L now in particular (with many now stalwartly characterizing Rhaegar as a prophecy-obsessed lunatic who impregnated Lyanna, with or without her will, and that Lyanna later grew to hate him). That made me curious into delving back to see what the books tell us and try to see where the narrative is leading us. Or maybe, more specifically, it's the roses I want to follow. The winter roses.

**The Introduction**

GRRM does a beautiful misdirection in the first book. Having Ned associate Lyanna again and again with the winter roses in his thoughts, by the time the origin of the winter roses is shown in Ned's last chapter, we have already associated Lyanna singularly with the roses. Rather than feeling the full impact of them being associated with her. So I'd like to go through the winter roses chronologically instead, according to the timeline.

**What is the narrative telling us?**

>Yet when the jousting began, the day belonged to Rhaegar Targaryen. The crown prince wore the armor he would die in: gleaming black plate with the three-headed dragon of his House wrought in rubies on the breast. A plume of scarlet silk streamed behind him when he rode, and it seemed no lance could touch him. Brandon fell to him, and Bronze Yohn Royce, and even the splendid Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning.

>Robert had been jesting with Jon and old Lord Hunter as the prince circled the field after unhorsing Ser Barristan in the final tilt to claim the champion's crown. Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died, when*Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell, to lay the queen of beauty's laurel in Lyanna's lap. He could see it still: a crown of winter roses, blue as frost*.

>*Ned Stark reached out his hand to grasp the flowery crown, but beneath the pale blue petals the thorns lay hidden. He felt them clawing at his skin, sharp and cruel, saw the slow trickle of blood run down his fingers, and woke, trembling, in the dark.*

>*Promise me, Ned, his sister had whispered from her bed of blood. She had loved the scent of winter roses. "Gods save me," Ned wept. "I am going mad."

This is the origin of the winter roses according to the timeline. We do not get mentions of Lyanna with the winter roses before Rhaegar crowned her with them. When Bran looks back in time and sees Lyanna, she's not seen around those roses. When the Northmen discuss her in her childhood, they don't mention her roses, only her horse-riding skills. In Howland's story of the wolf maid, she is not associated with them. Winter roses start featuring prominently around Lyanna Stark only after Rhaegar crowns her with them. Considering this to be the origin of the roses, I would find it safe to interpret that the roses don't solely symbolize Lyanna, but rather *the bond that grew between Rhaegar and Lyanna*. This way, the roses also work as a great narrative device for Ned to covertly think of R+L without directly giving it away to the readers.

This interpretation fits in very well with the next words, where Ned reaches out to touch the flower crown and feels the thorns underneath that claw at him. The beauty of the petals was hiding the "sharp and cruel" thorns underneath which could draw blood. Just like R+L's love which likely seemed a thing of great beauty to them, but resulted in pain and suffering for both of them and all around them. If, as some other interpretations go, the roses were meant to symbolize only Lyanna as a Stark maiden or represent her connection to Winterfell, it would make no sense for the sharp and cruel thorns to appear underneath.

In the words after, Ned describes her words from bed of blood and again, seemingly out of nowhere mentions how she had loved the scent of winter roses. Why was this sentence put here? In the middle of a seemingly irrelevant of her death? Following the narrative flow of where the roses began a few sentences ago, the meaning is clear. Lyanna had loved the scent of winter roses, loved the beauty of her bond with Rhaegar, maybe ignorant or uncaring of the thorns underneath.

>"And now it begins," said Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning. He unsheathed Dawn and held it with both hands. The blade was pale as milkglass, alive with light. "No," Ned said with sadness in his voice. "Now it ends." As they came together in a rush of steel and shadow, he could hear Lyanna screaming. "Eddard!" she called. *A storm of **rose** petals blew across a blood-streaked sky, as **blue** as the eyes of death.*

This is our next memory of Lyanna after the crowning at Harrenhal. Ned clashes with the Kingsguard trying to get to Lyanna, Ned's subconscious and the narrative associates this clash against a background of *storm of rose petals as blue as the eyes of death*. Again, the rose petals are associated with things like pain and blood and death. The blood-streaked sky is the background of the war, the war sparked by R+L's actions, the beautiful petals are still blowing, though they are "death". Rhaegar who is dead and Lyanna who is dying, their love that has started the fire that killed them both and many more including all the kingsguard and many northmen here here. (Though the situation was far more nuanced than just R+L being responsible for all the bloodshed that happened).

> "I was with her when she died," Ned reminded the king. "She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father." He could hear her still at times. *Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses.* Promise me, Ned. The fever had taken her strength and her voice had been faint as a whisper, but when he gave her his word, the fear had gone out of his sister's eyes. *Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the **rose** petals spilling from her palm, dead and black.* After that he remembered nothing. They had found him still holding her body, silent with grief. The little crannogman, Howland Reed, had taken her hand from his. Ned could recall none of it. "I bring her flowers when I can," he said. *"Lyanna was … fond of flowers."*

Now we come to her death. Ned remembers her room which had smelled of blood and roses. More importantly, he recalls the rose petals spilling from her palm as she died, implying that she had been holding on to them until the point of the death. The fact that her room smelled of roses itself implies that she had been making an effort to keep the roses around her, nothing was forcing her to have them around considering Rhaegar had left her months ago and died as well. (Unless anyone thinks evil Rhaegar ordered his Kingsguard to keep bringing roses to her against Lyanna's will? Or that the Kingsguard wanted to force her to continue having the roses around her? Imo that's ridiculous). It seems clear if we follow the narrative that the only roses these can be are the winter roses which connects her with Rhaegar. The fact that she took the effort to keep surrounding herself with roses, that she held onto the roses *until the moment of her death*, seems pretty irrefutable proof that she loved Rhaegar till the very end.

I have seen interpretations before that she was holding onto the roses as they symbolized her connection with Winterfell and her home. Apart from the reasons I had already mentioned above regarding why the roses clearly don't represent Winterfell, there is also the fact that if Lyanna wanted a connection to her home, her brother Ned Stark should be a much clearer option to cling onto rather than the roses connected heavily with Rhaegar (who according to this interpretation, she must have grown to hate). If it was only about her desire for home, we would have only gotten mentions of how hard she clung to Ned, there was no reason to mention the roses. But they were mentioned. And she did. She clung onto the roses as hard as she'd clung on to Ned, until death forced her to let go. This is capital R romanticism, Rhaegar died with Lyanna's name on his lips, Lyanna died with his roses (the last remnant of their love) in her palm. They died thinking of each other. And the roses, the roses are now "dead and black" just as both of them are.

After remembering that moment, Ned tells Robert that he brings her flowers. That Lyanna had loved flowers (note the ellipses). Lyanna had loved the scent of winter roses, even as they'd brought her death. She had loved Rhaegar, even as that brought her so much pain.

> Her eyes burned, green fire in the dusk, like the lioness that was her sigil. "The night of our wedding feast, the first time we shared a bed, he called me by your sister's name. He was on top of me, in me, stinking of wine, and he whispered Lyanna." *Ned Stark thought of pale blue roses, and for a moment he wanted to weep.* "I do not know which of you I pity most."The queen seemed amused by that. "Save your pity for yourself, Lord Stark. I want none of it."

Next, Ned thinks of the roses when he speaks with Cersei. And this, I love this!! Ned having to confront Robert's love for his sister and all that had cost him (not getting into Robert's vices here), knowing that Lyanna had loved Rhaegar. To see his friend cost himself a life and the love of Cersei by not getting over Lyanna, unknowing that Lyanna had never loved him! What Ned doesn't know but the narrative enriches is "I do not know which of you I pity the most" because Cersei had wanted Rhaegar as much as Robert had wanted Lyanna. Both were defeated so thoroughly by R+L's love for eachother.

>He was walking through the crypts beneath Winterfell, as he had walked a thousand times before. The Kings of Winter watched him pass with eyes of ice, and the direwolves at their feet turned their great stone heads and snarled. Last of all, he came to the tomb where his father slept, with Brandon and Lyanna beside him. "Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. *She wore a garland of pale blue roses, and her eyes wept blood.* Eddard Stark jerked upright, his heart racing, the blankets tangled around him. The room was black as pitch, and someone was hammering on the door. "Lord Eddard," a voice called loudly.

Nothing much here, just Lyanna again with her garland of roses (aka R+L) reminding Ned of his promise to protect their only son. This is a covert reference to R+L=J. With this, we end Ned's POV and move on to the next references of winter roses.

>She smiled again, a flash of white teeth. *"And she never sung you the song o' the winter rose?" "I never knew my mother. Or any such song."*

The next time the mentions of winter roses crop up again is in Jon's story, where Ygritte asks him if his mother had never sung the song of winter rose to him. To which he responds that he'd never known his mother or such a song, unknowing that this song was the hint to his mother, that this song represented her life.

>North or south, singers always find a ready welcome, so Bael ate at Lord Stark's own table, and played for the lord in his high seat until half the night was gone. The old songs he played, and new ones he'd made himself, and he played and sang so well that when he was done, the lord offered to let him name his own reward. 'All I ask is a flower,' Bael answered, 'the fairest flower that blooms in the gardens o' Winterfell.'"

>*"Now as it happened the winter roses had only then come into bloom, and no flower is so rare nor precious. So the Stark sent to his glass gardens and commanded that the most beautiful o' the winter roses be plucked for the singer's payment. And so it was done. But when morning come, the singer had vanished . . . and so had Lord Brandon's maiden daughter. Her bed they found empty, but for the pale blue rose that Bael had left on the pillow where her head had lain." Jon had never heard this tale before.*

A singer and a Stark maiden. The Stark girl who loved Bael so much that she'd given him a son (just as Jon himself was born) and who later threw herself off a tower when her son brought her Bael's head. Quite a few narrative resonances here, death of the Stark maid in a tower, a relative who had a hand in the death of her love. "No flower so rare nor precious". Is there anything so rare and precious as true, unconditional love? As Maester Aemon says, "We are only human after all, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory and our great tragedy."

> But there were others with faces he had never known in life, faces he had seen only in stone. *The slim, sad girl who wore a crown of pale blue roses and a white gown spattered with gore could only be Lyanna.* - Theon V, ACOK

The next mention is, oddly enough, in Theon's prophetic dreams. Again, Lyanna is associated with the crown of roses Rhaegar gave her and death. The white gown might represent marriage as it is an interesting detail to have mentioned (instead of just calling it a gown) but I don't have strong opinions on it either way.

The next mention is the most interesting to me, as for the first time, the roses lead to the future rather than the past.

>Then phantoms shivered through the murk, images in indigo. Viserys screamed as the molten gold ran down his cheeks and filled his mouth. A tall lord with copper skin and silver-gold hair stood beneath the banner of a fiery stallion, a burning city behind him. Rubies flew like drops of blood from the chest of a dying prince, and he sank to his knees in the water and with his last breath murmured a woman's name. . . . mother of dragons, daughter of death . . . Glowing like sunset, a red sword was raised in the hand of a blue-eyed king who cast no shadow. A cloth dragon swayed on poles amidst a cheering crowd. From a smoking tower, a great stone beast took wing, breathing shadow fire. . . . mother of dragons, slayer of lies . . . Her silver was trotting through the grass, to a darkling stream beneath a sea of stars. A corpse stood at the prow of a ship, eyes bright in his dead face, grey lips smiling sadly. A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness. . . . mother of dragons, bride of fire . . . - Dany IV, ACOK

>"Perhaps," she said reluctantly. "Yet the things I saw . . .""A dead man in the prow of a ship, a blue rose, a banquet of blood . . . what does any of it mean, Khaleesi? A mummer's dragon, you said. What is a mummer's dragon, pray?" - Dany V, ACOK

And what a lovely image it is. Jon, the sole child of Rhaegar and Lyanna, the only remnant of their love, growing at the Wall. For once, the imagery is overwhelmingly positive. The beautiful blue rose, against all odds, flourishes in the harshest of environments and what's more, it "fills the air with sweetness". Rhaegar and Lyanna might have died, but the child that resulted from their bond is making the world better.

The Conclusion

What's more, even in the latest calendar illustration GRRM had [commissioned](https://www.reddit.com/r/ImaginaryWesteros/comments/1093bgk/2024_calendar_cover_art_by_justin_sweet/), we know instinctively that it is Rhaegar and Lyanna thanks to the winter roses. Rhaegar who crowned Lyanna with these roses. Lyanna who died clutching them till the last moment. Their son who fights to protect the realms of men, doing the duty of a King without even knowing that he is one, that he is the King of the narrative. The blue rose who continues to bloom in the harshest of places.

The significance that in the text, it's Jon and only **JON** who is connected with/represented as the blue winter rose is important. Neither of the Stark maidens, Sansa or Arya, are ever connected with the blue rose in the text itself despite both having love for flowers. No other Stark has this motif in their story. The motif belongs solely to Bael and his Lady Stark, to Rhaegar and Lyanna, to Jon himself. It's the motif of love. Prince Rhaegar had loved his Lady Lyanna and thousands died for it. Lady Lyanna had loved her Prince Rhaegar and their child is saving the realms of men.

The roses that bloomed for them and between them. That showed how beautiful their love was and how painful. The world is cruel, the world is beautiful.

#asoiaf #lyanna stark #rhaegar targaryen #meta #rhaelya #jon snow #pro rhaegar targaryen #pro lyanna stark #pro R+L #they were human after all #and the gods fashioned them for love #their great glory and their great tragedy #love GRRM and his romanticism #rhaegar my sweet they could never make me hate you

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thatwriterchick222 · 9 months ago

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save a horse, ride... two cowboys? (arthur morgan and joel miller/f!reader) AU

summary:

“What’s a pretty young thing like yourself doin’ out here all alone?” The older man said as he approached you. You licked your lips, turning to peer inside the window of the saloon, spotting your fiance chatting with a few men at a poker table. “I’m not alone.” “That’s a shame.” The older man said, his eyes running down your body. “It is.” You replied. “Well…” The brunette leaned forward, peering through the same window you had looked through just prior, his eyes searching. “Your husband ain’t with you right now…” You smiled, trying not to let his smell of earth and smoke as he leaned closer to you cloud your judgment. “Fiance, actually.” “Even better.”

a/n: y'all this one is kinda crazyyyy... porn with plot at its finest. i also love combining my hyperfixations teehee

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“Bend over this table, now .” The man’s gruff voice came from behind you, his large hands shoving you down onto the wooden table. You yelped as your cheek came into contact with the hard surface, your bare breasts pressed painfully down, your body completely trapped by his strong arms.

You struggled, but couldn’t fight the moan that escaped your throat when you felt something hard press into your backside through the rough material of his jeans.

“Good thing we tied her up.” The other man said– Arthur, you think you heard him being addressed as– and you wiggled your arms that were tied behind your back, the rope looped around your ribcage a few times.

All your clothes had been forcefully ripped off aside from your pantyhose. While you were practically naked, the men were fully clothed, the roughness of their attire giving you a painful reminder every time it brushed up against your bare skin. A shiver ran through you.

###

You had been out for a few drinks in town with your fiance, whom you honestly had gotten bored of within the span of a few minutes, as per usual. But, it wasn’t your choice to be engaged. Your parents arranged it, and you had no other option but to go through with it.

This was where the so-called “high class” life had gotten you, you supposed.

When you went out for a smoke, you spotted two men leaning casually up against the brick wall, their hats tipped down just enough that you had to squint to see their eyes in the dimness of the streetlights. They looked like proper cowboys.

From what you could tell, they both seemed older, but one of them more so. He had a salt and pepper beard and you saw the traces of even greyer hair underneath his tan leather hat. He had a green plaid shirt that had the top buttons undone, and you swore you could see a dusting of chest hair beneath it.

You watched the man reach up and take a draw of his cigarette, noticing his hands. They looked like working hands, hands that had been through a lot. Strong hands. You watched him blow the cigarette smoke out through his nostrils. Then, to your surprise, he looked up at you, meeting your eyes with his own.

You blushed, averting your eyes immediately, focusing on the cigarette in your gloved hand that was almost burnt out. But you couldn’t help yourself as you looked back over at the man, and he was nudging the younger one beside him, drawing his attention to you as well. Oh shit .

The other man had lighter brown hair, his jawline wide and sharp, dusted in the slightest bit of stubble. He had an even bushier mustache on his upper lip, and his brow was furrowed as he looked up, eyes finding you immediately.

###

The younger man, Arthur, came over to the other side of the table, abruptly reaching down and fisting his hand in your hair, yanking it back. You gasped as he craned your neck painfully, forcing you to look up at him, a playful smirk on his face.

Your mouth hung open as you stared at him, breathing heavily. His eyes flicked down your face, and you yelped as you felt the other man grinding himself into your backside, rubbing against your bare skin.

Arthur hummed. “Let me put that pretty mouth to use, hm?”

###

“What’s a pretty young thing like yourself doin’ out here all alone?” The older man said as he approached you, the metal of his spurs rattling on the concrete sidewalk. His voice was soft and deep, with an attractive southern twang. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head.

“Young?” You smiled. You were only twenty-four, but from what you had been through, and where you were, you didn’t feel like it.

The other man came up beside him, his hands resting on his gun belt. “Still… Alone, in a place like this?”

You licked your lips, turning to peer inside the window of the saloon, spotting your fiance chatting with a few men at a poker table. “I’m not alone.”

“That’s a shame.” The older man said, his eyes running down your body. You swallowed, shifting your weight to avoid the heat pooling in your stomach. It was intriguing, this outright form of flattery. You liked how forward they were, unlike the people you knew. Where you were from, even hinting at it got you a slap on the wrist.

“It is.” You replied, tossing your used cigarette to the damp cobblestone sidewalk and watching it go out.

“Well…” The brunette leaned forward, peering through the same window you had looked through just prior, his eyes searching. “Your husband ain’t with you right now…”

You smiled, trying not to let his smell of earth and smoke as he leaned closer to you cloud your judgment. “Fiance, actually.”

“Even better.” The older one said, reaching up and placing his cigarette between his lips, his eyes dark and hungry as they raked over you.

###

A rush of excitement shot through you when Arthur reached for his gun belt, undoing it with ease and unbuttoning his pants with one hand. He kept his other hand knotted in your hair, the hair you had taken so much time pinning up before you went out.

God, your fiance was probably worried sick at that moment. Running around the saloon, asking people if they’d seen you, calling out your name on street corners. You fought a smile at the thought of him being worried sick, while you were tied up, pinned between two filthy cowboys in some barn in the middle of nowhere. Part of you wanted him to find you like this. To see you getting something you never got with him.

When Arthur finally pulled himself out of the restraints of his pants, you felt a chill run down your spine at the size of him. You had only ever seen your fiance’s, and it was… underwhelming, to say the least.

You swallowed thickly, feeling the other man’s warm hand run up your back, grabbing your arms that were tied.

You were utterly helpless as Arthur guided himself to your parted lips. “Open wide for me, darlin’.”

to be continued on ao3!!!

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eyesxxyou · 1 year ago

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Hobie Headcanons

↳ ❝ [mix of sfw and nsfw because I've been thinking alot] ¡! ❞

❝ sfw ❞

Hobie is Jamaican British and you can't change my mind. He uses Jamaican slang in the movie and some of punk culture takes from Jamaican culture. When he feels very big emotions, his accent definitely comes out whether he wants it too or not.

Did all his piercings himself. Has a keloid behind one of his ears because of it. It's a miracle most of his piercings haven't been infected or rejected.

His starter locs were terrible. He thinks it's the most embarrassing part of his loc journey. The length was uneven and he had to start over 3 different times. For a while he did have regular locs before letting them do their own thing and become freeform.

Has siblings. Two sisters, one older, one younger, and he loves them to death. Would go to hell and back for them. They're partially the reason why he's so comfortable in himself and his own masculinity. Why he's all "fuck Capitalism, patriarchy, and society in general" because he wants to live in a world where this sisters and every woman can walk down the street feeling safe, get paid equal to men in their jobs, etc

Undiagnosed autistic and I say this as a unofficially diagnosed autistic. His special interests are politics, punk bands, and My Little Pony (blame his sisters).

Gets matching nails with his s/o. Let's you paint his nails and do nail art and all of that. Let's you do his make up too, a full face beating if you want. A little bit of a simp

Definitely has a type. Earthy spiritual black people who wear crystals in their hair, wear layers of necklaces and bracelets, flowy ankle length shirts and tube tops, gold rings and waist beads layered on top of each other (definitely not saying this cuz it's an exact description of me) love a black woman from infinity to infinityyyy

❝ nsfw ❞

Has a dick piercing (and no he didn't do that one on his own). Either a Prince Albert or a magic cross. It was a haphazard decision he just decided on and BOY was it painful but he feels cool as fuck now and it makes you feel all the better.

Has nipple piercings too. Just thought they looked sick. Only downside is that they took a long time to heal and wearing a shirt for the first few weeks was literal hell.

LOVES giving oral regardless of sex. Adores the sounds he can draw from you with just his tongue and his fingers. Has you cumming in minutes. His fingers are perfect for it, long and slender, and his tongue is godly (he also has a tongue piercing).

His moto is save a horse, ride a cowboy. Loves getting rode, watching you bounce on his cock however you'd like with your hands on his chest for support. He'll hold your hips, trace patterns on your skin while praising you. "Ya look so pretty, luv. Keep goin', jus' like tha'."

Loves eye contact during sex at all time. "Keep ya eyes open fa' me, luv. Can you do tha'? Yeah, tha's righ'." He likes the intimacy of it, makes the act more special.

Might be a controversial opinion but I think Hobie's polyamorous. Or at least open to the idea of an open relationship. He doesn't get jealous easily and trusts you wholeheartedly so he's be okay with something like that. If that's not what you want, he's totally okay with that as well. On the up side, threesomes ;)

#across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #spiderman #hobie brown #hobie brown fic #atsv #hobie brown smut #hobart brown

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chaifootsteps · 6 months ago

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I'm falling in love with Stellizt too just because it'd be so funny to me, plus Stolas would HATE it, which immediately makes it top tier. But I also like to think about how they would treat the other's daughter.

Octavia and Blitz would definitely have a rocky relationship at first because she can't help but still view him as the reason her family fell apart, but she can see her mom is genuinely happy with him In a way she never was with Stolas. I think it'd take her her a long time to fully accept it but she will, eventually. Especially once she old enough to fully grasp at the circumstances behind stolas and Stella's marriage. I can see her trying to keep contact with him, which leads to him feeding her lies and exaggerations which bred more tensions between her, Stella and Blitz. Idk exactly how this would go down, but I can see her going no contact once she realized how toxic he is. Blitz doesn't really understand taxidermy or astronomy but is super supportive and she eventually grows fond of horses and drawing as well.

Stella and Loona, in comparison, would have a significantly easier time. (Its in Part due to how little they have going on in canon) but they bond over them both enjoying parties. I think it'd be fun if it's Stella that helps Loona reign in her drinking habits a bit. Loona is defined weirded out at first, especially at now having access to the finer things in life without much issue. I think their relationship could help Stella gain more class awareness.

Idk if Stella and Blitz would ever have a kid together tho I think the idea is cute

Skibidi toilet anon

I absolutely love this...love the idea of them all supporting one another, love all of it. Speaking of Loona's drinking, I can actually see Stella reining it in too, albeit without realizing it. She still loves her wine and consumes plenty of it, but she finds she doesn't need a glass in each hand the way she used to when she was married to Stolas. There's just not as much pain to numb.

If Blitz and Stella ever did have a kid together, you know it would be the cutest thing. One thing both Stolas and Stella have going for them, they make cute fanbabies.

#Anonymous #skibidi toilet anon #viv stuff #stellitz #actual blog post

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sayafics · 1 year ago

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Dance of Shadows - Chapter II

Thank you to everyone who showed so much love to Chapter I and waited so patiently for this chapter! I do hope you enjoy it. Reading all your comments and seeing your likes and reblogs made me feel so appreciated, so thank you again!

This chapter will be very Daemon/Saenyra focused, but please presume everything else happens as normal <3

This is quite a long chapter, but I hope it's worth the read!

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

The crowd roared in unison, a crashing wave of victory and excitement rolled through the tourney grounds as the people of King's Landing yelled in celebration - the tourney has begun, and so has Queen Aemma's labours.

Saenyra's father held the tourney in honour of her maybe-brother that was itching and turning to leave her mother's womb.

She wanted to be by her mother's side, to hold her hand, and ground her during the pains of bearing a child.

But Viserys had promised the girl Aemma would be fine, that it was of more importance she was to attend the tourney. As that was where her duty required her to be - an ornament, a prize placed at the forefront of a bloodied battle for men to lust for, soldiers to grovel for, and Lords to prepare bounties in exchange for.

Of course he had not said so directly to her, even his words, so gentle and kind, were not her's to listen to. Yet they were a silent command to follow.

Viserys had spoken the words to Rhaenyra, Saenyra had simply been there and nodded like the obedient child she was and obeyed an order they did not feel the need to grace her with.

In the back of her mind, Saenyra knew if her absence did not draw up the suspicions and whispers of the people, then her father would have paid no mind. Rhaenyra is heir, if not to the throne, then to Dragonstone.

She was simply a princess, with no power tied to her name nor land for her to cherish. All that came to her - all that would be her own, would first belong to the man her father asked her to marry. And, some nights, Saenyra feared she would not be able to deny her father's wishes, because she had always seen her father's words to her as they truly were - commands of a King, not the gentle whispers of a loving father.

The tourney had begun, and Saenyra sat next to her sister as she gazed upon the grounds, suppressing a flinch as she watched the men collide into each other with a violent crack. The sound was enough to snap her out of her reverie, realising she had already missed the introductions and did not know who was competing. She sat straighter, spine stiffening as she rolled her shoulders - it would not be good if the Lords and Ladies were to catch her ill-attention, cursing it as a lack of manners and a mockery to the Court.

She paid no mind to Alicent's and Rhaenyra's incessant whispers, knowing their words were not for her and to include herself would only lead to them drawing back until she stopped. So she sat, quiet and proper, eyes flitting over the game in front of her in feigned interest.

The man who had fallen was Ser Gwayne Hightower of Old Town, Alicent's brother. Saenyra remembers him well, recalls the whispers that Otto Hightower had proposed a marriage between his eldest son and one of Viserys' daughters, but it was Aemma who denied the match. She did not think it a coincidence when she had ran into the man the following evening in the library, and she was bound in suspicion when he offered to walk her back to her chambers.

To this day, Saenyra finds herself grateful that Ser Harwin Strong had found her in those moments, and she was gladdened to hear him offer to escort her back in his stead. Ser Harwin was a dangerous man, but he was also loyal to the crown and would do her no harm.

Ser Gwayne Hightower was his father's child, and Saenyra, despite all her years sharing the castle with him, had never known Otto Hightower enough to trust him.

She watched how Alicent held her breath as the armoured man knocked Gawyne off his horse with brutal ease. Ser Hightower conceded, and the man dressed in an armour of dark grey and riddled with red as dark as rubies cheered in victory.

Saenyra's eyes traced over the armoured man, following every curve and line that decorated the fine metal-work. She noticed him draw closer, and at his proximity Rhaenyra leapt up from her seat.

Rhaenyra exuded a familiar scent of childish glee at the sight of the man, and it was only then that realisation sunk in as gentle lavendar hues met the molten colour of vicious violet.

This was Daemon, dressed in armour fit for a dragon, so unlike the one she had seen him only before. He stood now, clean and shining. His eyes were bright, glowing with the fire of a new battle, his expression seemed eased, and Saenyra knew the tourney was nothing like the bloodbaths Daemon loved to seek.

"Nicely done, Uncle."

Daemon's eyes flitted to Rhaenyra, squinting against the sun as a pleased smile crossed his face. Saenyra couldn't help the jealousy that festered under her skin, to see her sister once again preen under the attention of their uncle who seemed to care for one sister more than the other - just like her father, just like her mother, just like the Kingdom and probably, just like her brother too.

"Thank you, Princess."

Daemon's words were spoken with a lilt, and any passerby would have assumed the man was enamoured by the girl who stood in front of him - the Realm's Delight.

Instead, his eyes bounced from Rhaenyra to her friend standing loyally beside her, and his mouth parted, ready to ask a question.

It was at that moment a glint caught Daemon's eye, and his eyes darted back to the quiet girl who sat in the shadows of her sister's tall and domineering presence. It was at that moment he remembered a call for a promise and a whisper to wait until the time came to be.

Daemon could have used such a promise to bargain some leverage, to gain the upper hand, and receive power or triumph in turn. But, eyes roving over the girl who avidly avoided his boring stare, he found he did not want to wait and see if a different opportunity arises. Not when he could live in a whispered moment of his desires right now.

"Now I am fairly certain I can win these games, Lady Alicent," Daemon watched how Rhaenyra's face fell as he addressed her friend instead of her, knowing what question lay on the tip of his tongue, and for a moment Daemon truly felt pity for the girl. "But having the favour of one so kind and gentle would all but assure it," he watched Alicent radiate a warmth of eagerness at his words, despite her attempts to stifle it in Rhaenyra's presence.

As a man who abhorred the existence of her father and his twisted words, Daemon could not help the thrill that wracked through him as he continued his words and watched the Hightower girl deflate.

"Would you send for my dearest niece? I have a question for her."

Alicent looked between Rhaenyra and her sister, pulling herself together as she deliberated her next course of action. Daemon raised a brow, and she nodded hesitantly in reply. She stepped backwards - once, twice. As though she was waiting for Rhaenyra to stop her - she never did. So Alicent turned on her heels and walked ever so slowly towards Saenyra who determinedly looked towards her fumbling fingers and avoided the eyes of her sister's friend, dread settling in the pit of her stomach at the sound of the approaching figure.

"Princess, your uncle calls to you."

Saenyra looked up with a frown, "what does my uncle want with me?"

Alicent looked over her shoulders for a moment, glacing at Rhaenyra's tense shoulders and Daemon's narrowed eyes - "I believe it is something you must ask him."

Saenyra regarded her with suspicion, eyes flitting over to see her uncle and sister locked in a bout of seething words. She found she did not want to approach, worried of what she may hear and what she may be asked.

Did Daemon want to ask for his favour now? Was it truly to do with Rhaenyra? Was that why she was so angry? Did Rhaenyra not want her to overhear what Daemon plans to ask of her?

Despite all the questions echoing in her mind like a deafening storm, she finds herself standing in a graceful manner and making her way to them with Alicent lurking a step or two behind.

When they approached the pair, Daemon and Rhaenyra were sharing a gaze heated by the fire of dragons - Rhaenyra glared at the man as though they had shared venomous words, despite them not being overheard by others.

Saenyra waited a few steps back, hesitance clouding her mind as she waited - hoping Daemon would call to her.

And he did.

"Saenyra," her name sounded so sweet, rolling off his tongue, his anger that flowed in steaming waves now seemed to lull in the air of her presence. "I have something to ask of you," a knowing look crossed his face, a sign that he was referring to their meeting by chance a few short days ago, and it was as though he knew she had not forgotten about it either.

Saenyra glanced towards her sister, but Rhaenyra simply avoided her gaze and stood with a passive expression painted along her face. Saenyra cleared her throat, her voice almost a whisper as she spoke, unsure of what to say, "of course, Uncle. What is it that you desire?"

She had stumbled over her words, cringing as she spoke faster than her mind had been able to think. But Daemon paid no mind, though his lip quirked with amusement as he thought of asking for her, then and there.

Alas, he knew he could do no such thing. So he commanded, an air of reverence in his words, "give me your favour."

His words were simple, so close to the words he truly wanted to say, but knew he could not with his brother's watchful eyes upon him.

Saenyra's cheeks heated at his words, but she did not miss how Rhaenyra's fingers tightened upon the railing, nor how her jaw twitched as she clenched it in irritation.

She almost said no, a part of her even wanted to - fearful of hurting her sister's feelings and possibly losing her in some way. But there was a selfish part of Saenyra, so young and wanting, that had craved for a moment such as this, where someone would ask for her in place of her sister. And she would truly be mad to deny this moment, regardless of how fleeting it came to be.

She bit her lip in feigned contemplation, and Daemon found himself growing warm in the confines of his armour at the sight. She glanced back at Daemon, unable to stop the teasing smile slipping onto her face as she leaned towards him over the railing - "only if you say please."

A flare of pure, unadulterated want radiated through Daemon at her words, and he found himself leaning towards her without a care for the watchful eyes of his audience - "please."

Despite all his savage glory, his plea was close to a whimper, and it seemed to ignite something in Saenyra he had never seen before. Her eyes glance to his lips before moving back, she pulled herself back with heated cheeks and laboured breaths as she clears her throat.

Saenyra turned to grab her wreath, only to find Rhaenyra stood infront of her with it in her grasp.

She stared at her sister for a few moments, unsure of what to do. It seemed even her father was not sure if he should intervene, and Otto simply watched with an interested gaze.

Rhaenyra held the wreath tight, her unrelenting grip causing the flowers beneath to crumble and give in. Saenyra glances back to Daemon's waiting figure, a shroud of determination settles in her as she regards Rhaenyra again, taking slow steps towards her before holding the wreath firmly and taking it from her grasp, she spares her sister a stiff nod - "thank you, Sister."

Rhaenyra doesn't move, nor acknowledge her. She simply waits to see if Saenyra would truly go ahead with this, and give Daemon what he seeks.

Saenyra walks towards Daemon, her steps much more sure and confident. She leans over the railing and gives him a shy smile. He returns it with his own - a broad and mischievous grin.

She reaches towards him to place the wreath, and just as the flowers brush the tip of his sword, he cants his horse to step back away from her as a glorious laugh escapes him. Saenyra can't help the way her heart flutters at the sound, but she rolls her eyes all the same - "Uncle."

Her words were drawn out in feigned annoyance, and he pulled himself back closer at the sound, waiting for her to reach out again before moving away.

"Ugh, Uncle. I swear to the Seven, I will simply take my seat again, and you can fight without my favour."

Daemon tuts, "we can not have that now, can we? Perhaps to make it easier, you can come onto the grounds?"

He raises his brow in challenge, so sure she would not heed. But a look over her shoulder, into the eyes of her raging sister, was all it took for her to move towards the stairs and duck under the arms of a cautious guard.

She ignored the calls of her father and his Hand, the indignant call of Rhaenyra and her friend. She stepped onto the grounds with a huffed breath, but her lips were stretched into a traiterous smile as she walked towards Daemon, who met her halfway.

Daemon unmounted his horse, leaving his joust on the ground as he moved towards her in slow, deliberate steps. He paid no mind to the baited silence of their audience nor the exasperated calls of the Court. He stood in front of her, his armoured boots brushing against the billowing skirt of her dress - a pale pink that stood brightly against the sun.

Saenyra held the wreath out towards him, a simple ring of flowers decorated in shades of blues and yellows - her favourite flowers, irises and begonias, formed into a colourful cluster.

Daemon reached out to accept it. His fingers, encased in his harsh and cold armoured gloves, brushed slowly over the petals to then skim the skin of her warm and delicate hands. Saenyra shivered, goose-flesh running up her arms as she repressed the tremble that silently wracked through her body. His touch paused as metal met metal, and his armoured fingers glided against a ring made of familiar steel.

A ring, so dark and grand, sat on the Princess' hand in place of where her future bethrothed's would. And it was made of Valyrian steel, a shared piece of ancestry.

Daemon admired how the ring looked upon her finger, how the blood-soaked jewel hammered into it radiated against her skin as though it was proud of its wearer and yearned to be showcased because of it.

A shared piece of him.

***

Daemon had avoided Saenyra after his trysts in Silk Street, unable to meet her eye or hear her voice without his mind flashing back to his escapade with Myseria, where all he could think about was Saenyra.

The lengths he would have gone to have her, or someone that simply looked like her.

His stomach would roll with nausea, and his mind was heavy with questions. He found himself needing to apologise with no true need except for the guilt that plagued his mind due to his traiterous fanatasies.

The night after his venture with Myseria, he found himself lazing away in his chambers as the sun fell into the arms of the night sky and the moon rose in its place.

Daemon found himself staring up at the ceiling, eyes tracing over every animate shadow and ears on alert for every step and whisper that sounded at his doors.

His heart beat at a calm pace, but every thud brought a sinking feeling of unease to settle in the confines of his chest. His mind began to wander, his thoughts flitting between images of his night with Myseria, to his gift to Rhaenyra, to walking into his little niece.

Daemon remembers how he struggled to force his gaze away from her bare neck - a princess of a Kingdom so grand and powerful, and yet her father would rather have the girl dressed as a commoner than royalty.

Daemon scoffed at the thought - oh, how he wanted to adorn her in jewels and diamonds, to weigh her heavy in the best of refineries so others would see just how much her beauty was worth. How much she is worth.

But he had already given Rhaenyra a necklace, and he wasn't blind to Saenyra's stares of sadness and envy. He knew to give her the same gift he gave Rhaenyra would be nothing short of an insult.

He would do no such thing.

He closed his eyes in frustration, his racing thoughts barely allowing him to catch a breath long enough to lull himself to sleep. He sat up stiffly, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed as he held his head in his hands.

A deep sigh escaped him, thumbs digging into his eyes as though he was forcing away the images of Saenyra - trying to forget her moonlit hair, her pale eyes, her murmured words and her hesitant breaths.

Daemon glanced towards the fireplace that now burned low, the heat had dampened down, and a cold chill filled the air. It was a feeling akin to flying Caraxes in the winter sky, a scathing feeling that somehow brought a warmth to him all the same.

His eyes rested upon his sword, which stood defiantly against the hearth. Dark Sister looked almost black in the shadows of a dying fire, the rain-guard glinting a violent gold against the blade.

Rhaenyra's necklace had been a piece of shared ancestry.

But Saenyra deserved something more. For all she had done to be a dutiful daughter, she had not shared the grace of being a true dragon despite the blood of one burning through her veins.

When she was younger, a hopeful child who was so sure her egg would hatch as she aged, Daemon had pitied the girl. Even now, his heart would clench in sympathy for her. But he could see how such a loss of an opportunity had strengthened her.

She was just as much of a dragon as he was, despite never having one to call her own. She was just not able to see it yet.

Daemon saw a fragment of his soul in hers. The part of him that yearned for his father's approval, his brother's love. The fraction of him who had ached and begged for a dragon before he made it his mission to tame his own.

Daemon had called for a blacksmith the next day before daylight had broken and offered a pouch of Gold Dragon coins with one hand and his Dark Sister with the other.

Daemon knew exactly what his sweet girl deserved - what she needed.

Saenyra was a dragon, through and through - she simply needed a reminder of such.

The blacksmith had returned before dark, standing nervously with trembling hands as he offered Daemon his sword with one hand and held forth a cotton bag in the other.

Daemon glanced over his sword, his eyes easily catching the part that did not belong. The pommel was the same gold as his rain-guard, but it seemed dainty in comparison. He longed to hold his sword and test it for deficiencies, but his eyes caught the ivory bag clenched tightly in the hands of the blacksmith.

Daemon laid out his hand, and the bag was placed upon it with hesitance. Daemon rolled his eyes at the man's slow movements and snatched the bag away, pulling the ties open and tipping its contents into the palm of his hand.

A bejewelled piece of metal fell with a light thump. The metal felt familiar, even though it had been melted and twisted into something he did not recognise.

The band was simple, engraved with vines and flowers that were so quaint yet so detailed. And fitted perfectly in its centre sat a timid, glowing jewel likened to a pool of congealed blood.

Daemon thought back to the necklace he gifted to Rhaenyra, how its jewels were a bright and lively red. A mockery of who Daemon pretended to be.

This jewel, this colour, this steel. It was a part of him - a reflection of who he was. It was admiration and bloodshed and protection all in one. It was a silent promise and a vicious outcry.

It was a gift, fit for a princess. Fit for Saenyra.

Daemon reached for his sword, turning it over to have a look at the pommel of his sword where Valyrian Steel had been replaced by something else - it was a worthwhile sacrifice, he thought. His hands fisted around the ring, relishing in the feel of it imprinting against his skin.

Daemon had walked through the Keep with the ring settled in the pocket of his chemise for days now, unable to bear the courage to face her in fear of what his desires may ask of him.

It was not until the day of the tourney that he found himself in front of the youngest Princess' chambers. He nodded in greeting to her guards, not waiting for them to announce his presence before he marched into her chambers - he could not risk allowing hesitance to cloud his decisions and walk away.

Daemon held his breath as he closed the doors behind him. Saenyra sat at her dresser, combing through her hair before the sound of Daemon's loud entry forced her eyes to meet his in the reflection.

She was still dressed in her sleeping gown, a sheer shade of pearl that hugged against her figure. Daemon roved his eyes over her by instinct, hungrily drinking in the sight of her whilst he could. Saenyra was not blind to his devouring stare, clearing her throat despite her skin flushing under his heated gaze - "Uncle, can I help you?"

Daemon's eyes met hers, and the desire that pooled in them began to wane as he pulled himself together into the semblance of a gentleman.

"Saenyra," there it was again, her name passing through his soft lips with a gentle caress, "I have something for you."

She raised a brow in question, turning to look over her shoulder at him instead, "and what would that be?"

Daemon did not speak further, he walked closer towards her before stopping at the foot of her bed. He sat cautiously, waiting to see if she would object and send him away, but the girl was much too curious to do such a thing.

He beckoned her forward, and she hesitated for a moment.

"Come."

His voice was firm, as though he knew she would obey without question, and as she stumbled to her feet, she had the fleeting realisation that she would do anything Daemon had asked. She would follow him to the ends of the world and more, if he so desired.

She stood in front of him, and still she felt so small despite the fact that he had to look up to her. Her hands fiddled with the ends of her gown, which brushed against her thighs lightly - the idea she was so exposed in front of her uncle sent a shiver down her spine.

Daemon forced himself to keep his eyes upon hers, to not disrespect his darling niece when she had so politely adhered to his wishes despite the burning temptation to drink in the sight of her bare legs only a hairs-breadth away.

If he leaned forward, he was sure he could run his lips against her bare skin, and his body heated at the thought of her trembling under his touch.

He shook himself from his thoughts, looking upon Saenyra with adoring eyes as one of his hands took hers. He tugged her gently, tempted to pull her onto his lap but knowing it was a move much too daring.

Instead, she fell neatly onto her knees between his parted legs, and Daemon had to hold back a groan. She eyed him with such trust, full of so much naivety and innocence he found himself intoxicated with the idea of corrupting her and taking her as his own.

But he couldn't.

Shouldn't.

"I have a gift for you."

His words were a gasped whisper, spoken only between their shared breath that she had almost missed it, becoming so distracted by his warmth - by his dragon fire.

She blinked slowly, as though she was confused, "for me?"

He smiled at her, kindly. Something so unlike Daemon that even he was struck with the oddity of their circumstances. Still, he nodded.

She frowned, "why?"

His head tilted in sympathy to see his niece so surprised by such an act - "why not? Anything for my favourite niece."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "I'm your favourite?"

He grinned, "who else could it possibly be?"

Her head became down-turned, "everyone knows you love Rhaenyra more."

Her words struck a cord in his heart, is that what she truly believed? "And yet it is you I brought a gift for."

She looked back up at him, her face dead-pan as she spoke, "that is because you already brought her one. This is probably something gifted out of guilt."

She was close to the truth, but not entirely. This was a gift out of guilt for his wreckless thoughts and violent desires, but it was also a token of his devotion. Not that his dear niece needed to know.

He shook his head in turn, "this is so much more."

His hand reached into the pocket of his chest, nimble fingers pulling out the jewel he held so close to his heart as he waited for this moment. Her lips parted at the sight of it, and Daemon was sure he saw unshed tears pool within her eyes.

"That's for me?"

"Just for you."

Her eyes flickered to meet his disbelief, painting her expression - "Daemon," she spoke his name as though it was natural to her, and it sang with melodic delight causing desire to curl in his chest and hum contentedly. "Daemon," she repeated, so sweetly and softly, "I can't accept this."

"Yes you can."

"It is too much. It would not be fair to accept such a prize with nothing given in return."

Mischief raided through his heart as though it was a second nature, it clashed with desire and became pronounced - "then take it in exchange for another promise. A bigger one," his voice dipped, lowering into a whisper, "a dangerous one."

Saenyra didn't let her gaze fall from his, she knew she should deny him and his gift. She should send him from her chambers and pretend nothing had happened, but to have him so close and to see him act so daring, to challenge her so openly - it sparked a burning fire within her, setting her dragon alight - "so, what is it that you want?"

Her words felt like an echo of the ones she had said to him only days ago.

"I guess you shall have to wait and see."

She couldn't help the shy smile that slipped across her face at his echoing words, nor the heated flush that painted her cheeks as she felt him take her hand and slip the ring onto her left hand. It sat snugly on the finger where her future bethrothed's ring would have sat. And a small part of Saenyra, the one so selfish and greedy, knew no other man would have been able to produce a perfect fit for her apart from Daemon.

Saenyra couldn't pull her eyes away from his, she watched as his eyes darkened under her curious gaze. His own glanced towards her lips that she bit anxiously, and a thumb came to brush across it softly as he pulled it out before she could abuse it further.

His thumb sat on the bed of her lip, and he kept her gaze with a new ferocity. She glanced to his now, watching how he wetted his lips under her watchful gaze as his head grew heady with desire.

A knock on the door, loud and harsh, startled her from his grasp. His hand was still outstretched towards her, and his eyes never left her, even as she stood and brushed the gown straight.

Ser Harwin entered the room, a curious gaze passed between the unusual pair, before he focused upon the simmering figure of Daemon Targaryen- "my Prince, the King calls for you. The tourney is to begin."

Daemon lets out a frustrated sigh as he pulls himself to his feet, he walks towards Saenyra and pulls her focus back onto him. He holds the hand bejewelled with a piece of him and presses a longing kiss upon her knuckles - "I hope to see you on the grounds, Saenyra."

She did not get a chance to reply. He turned on his feet and walked out her chambers - not without sharing a sharp glare with Ser Harwin Strong.

After he had left, Saenyra shared a nervous smile with Ser Harwin before he prompted her to get ready as he would send the handmaids to help her. She nodded in agreement, returning to her dresser to brush through her hair, but throughout it all, she was unable to tear away her gaze from the fine ring that adorned her hand.

A flutter sang within her chest, and a traiterous smile and bubbling laugh escaped her as she thought of Daemon's glimmering eyes and bright smile.

***

Daemon had been knocked onto the grounds by Ser Criston Cole, the man was skilled in tourneys but Daemon was better - more experienced.

He launched from the grounds, demanding his sword before slashing and swinging against Criston's flail. He sent a frenzied attack that was oragnised yet doused with the fire of unbridled rage.

He admired the man's strength and his stubbornness, but Daemon was not one to lose.

He had knocked Criston to the ground, Daemon's shield had been shattered to splinters, but he swung his sword with ease, his golden pommel a shining beacon for the girl who owned the original piece.

He turned towards the audience, towards her - cheering and celebrating. He searched for the missing part of his sword in the victorious cries of the Court, in their waving arms and broad smiles. His sword usually felt light in his hand, as though it was an extension of him, but the longer he struggled to seek her out, the heavier it felt.

She had left the tourney before he had even succeeded, she had not waited to celebrate his victory, she had not shared a parting goodbye or stayed for a boisterous celebration.

And with her, she had taken her favour.

Daemon had let his guard down, and Criston had taken advantage of his wavering heart and beat him to the ground whilst his back was turned - the act of a coward, but the rise of a victor.

Daemon yielded.

His eyes closed in frustration as his mind flooded with flashes of her once more - why had she left?

***

Within the walls of the Keep, Queen Aemma's cries sounded loudly. Saenyra had wanted to comfort her mother, but they tore her apart before she could reach her.

They let her mother cry and scream and beg until her last dying breath. And the babe followed shortly after.

Perhaps her mother did not care for her as much as she did Rhaenyra, but Aemma was her mother.

Perhaps the babe would have preferred his eldest sister, the dragon-rider, to his other sister, the timid. But Baelon was her brother.

She had gained the affection of her uncle, but lost her mother and her brother as consequence.

Saenyra felt as though her body revolted in the shadows of a dark and humourous curse, one that took and took and gave so little.

Saenyra stared at the ring Daemon placed upon her finger, her eyes were blank and her face was streaked with tears, her breaths were coming out short and panicked and she tried her best to avoid her mother's gasping breaths, her pleas for a daughter who was absent and not the one who was present, her last tear and her father's wails.

She stared at the ring, and a piece of her - the growing envious beast within - wished she had never accepted the token, believing if she did not, she would still have the half-love of a mother and the possible love of a brother, in place of a displaced infatuation of an uncle.

She wanted Daemon, but she was not sure how.

She wanted Daemon, but she wanted her mother more.

I honestly loved writing this chapter, it was like the words just flowed. I really do hope you guys like it! Please comment, like, and reblog! Every single one is so greatly appreciated <33

I have so many ideas for the next few chapters, I can't wait!!

Taglist: @marihoneywk @ahristata @gracielikegrapes @luanasrta @pet1t3

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen smut #daemon x reader #daemon targeryan #daemon targaryen #daemon targeryen x reader #daemon targaryen fluff #daemon targaryen angst #hotd x oc #hotd x reader #hotd fandom #hotd fanfic #hotd #house of the dragon

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amongemeraldclouds · 8 months ago

Text

The Slytherin Boys as Bridgerton Brothers

Ft. Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle, and Lorenzo Berkshire. Some also features x f!Reader as their equivalent partner.

✿ Masterlist | 808 words | Based on the Netflix show

Dearest Gentle Reader,

This author is pleased to present the dashing, young Slytherins as their Bridgerton counterpart should they ever grace the ton with their presence.

Theodore Nott as Anthony Bridgerton

𝄞 Theodore Nott as Anthony Bridgerton would be a walking contradiction, oscillating between his responsibilities as a viscount who had to grow up too soon and a rake who refuses to grow up.

𝄞 While attending school at Oxford, he never had to worry about grades as he’s naturally intelligent and can ace his classes with little effort. He’s also generally interested in learning so he never has to force himself to study.

𝄞 This allows him more time to goof off with his classmates so they would go on countless adventures and get into all sorts of trouble. Nothing that would stick of course, given their high status in society and the privilege that comes with it.

𝄞 Given the early loss of his father, he becomes the viscount at a young age and assumes responsibility for their people and his family. It feeds into his serious and introverted side and he initially has strong opinions on Daphne’s suitors, thinking he knows what’s best for her.

𝄞 When he challenged Simon to duel, part of it would be to defend Daphne’s honor, but another part would be his subconscious tendency towards self-destruction.

𝄞 Secretly, he envies and resents his siblings for not having to bear the responsibilities he had to. Still, he cares for them and always tries his best.

𝄞 He prefers having sex with only one partner, but if he doesn’t have one, he will frequent brothels to get his urges satisfied. He never hesitates to do what he needs to do, both in business and his personal life.

𝄞 When he finally opens himself up to marriage, he initially has a strategic plan, refusing to be swept away by whimsical notions of love. All it ever brought was pain, no thank you.

𝄞 And then he met you. The woman he lost a horse race to, the woman who could best him at pall-mall and is not afraid to get her hands dirty, literally. The woman who could carry herself in a hunt. His match.

𝄞 He rarely fell in love, if at all. But when he fell, he fell utterly and hopelessly in love.

𝄞 In his words, “I have never met anyone like you. It is maddening. How much you consume my very being.” He was never one for moderation.

Mattheo Riddle as Benedict Bridgerton

₊✧ As an aspiring artist, Mattheo Riddle enjoys drawing and often has charcoal or ink stains on his hands, just like Benedict Bridgerton.

₊✧ He likes smoking in general and usually bonds with his sister, Eloise, through their regular smoking sessions on the swing. They confide their dreams and fears with each other.

₊✧ He is closest to Anthony, who often seeks his support as the second son.

₊✧ Once he dives into the art scene away from the prestige of the ton, behind doors closed and with curtains drawn, he is pleasantly surprised to discover the sensual side to these parties.

₊✧ He regularly attends these parties for sketching, booze, and orgies - everything his creative heart could desire.

₊✧ He is genuinely passionate about his art and hopes to get into art school of his own accord.

₊✧ He will not hesitate to turn to substances when he needs to relax, even if it means over consuming Colin’s calming tea to soothe his anxiety of getting into art school.

₊✧ He got so wasted that he found himself screaming in exultation from the windows of their quiet countryside home when he was accepted into art school.

Lorenzo Berkshire as Colin Bridgerton

❥ Much like Colin Bridgerton, Lorenzo Berkshire is also a free spirit who enjoys traveling and sharing stories of his adventures.

❥ Life of the party, he loves joking around with others.

❥ He is loyal to and protective of his family, always ready to support his siblings, especially his older brothers when needed.

❥ However, when he sets his sights on a goal, he is headstrong and not afraid to pursue things on his own. Whether it’s courting Marina or making investments in an attempt to find his purpose.

❥ Given his penchant to see the good in others, he can sometimes come off as naive but is open to learning from his failures.

❥ He remains a romantic idealist, but often has his head in the clouds that he overlooks your affections and only sees you as a loyal friend.

❥ Everything changes when he gets closer with you and your confidence grows the more autonomy you have with choosing your own gowns, for example. He starts to consider you less like a friend and more romantically.

❥ He better get his hands and knees ready for all the groveling he will go through to win your affections after he denied and rejected you for so long.

✿ Masterlist <- read more

Author’s note:

✿ Wrote this while eagerly awaiting Bridgerton season 3. ✿ I will go absolutely feral when Benedict’s season arrives. That man is already so gorgeous, how are they going to give him a glow up? Losing my mind 🥵

#scheduled post #slytherin boys headcanons #theodore nott headcanons #mattheo riddle headcanon #lorenzo berkshire headcanons #colin bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #theodore nott imagine #mattheo riddle imagine #lorenzo berkshire imagine #amongemeraldcloudswrites #bridgerton netflix #slytherin boys

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squintyeyedjoel · 8 months ago

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Through Your Eyes | Part 3 - In the Blink of an Eye (Joel x Reader)

A/N: So this is the rest of what was chapter 2, but I broke it up to keep chapter 2 shorter, and good thing, too, because I ended up adding a lot more. 🤣 Also, I know in canon the garage is a separate building, and I have a plan for that, so bear with me, please.

I do not own The Last of Us or it’s characters. Sadly. But I carry them in my heart. Does that count for something? My soul says yes.

Warnings: Oooo, this one’s a doozy as well, but in a different way than the last one. So many things. (Let me know if I miss anything.) 😮‍💨 Some more original characters, lots of canon violence and swearing, (this one is a big one. Like a lot. There’s a hefty amount of swearing.) mention of attempted sexual assault without detail, Reader is a badass. We round it all out with obscene amounts of fluff and humor between it all, sweet moments, and just soft things. It’s me. I can’t not. No use of Y/N.

Word count: 13,464

Thank you to @fordo-kixed-rex for reading over this however many times it’s been now and fangirling over it when I was having my down moments. You’re the reason this still exists.

Previous | Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Next

Xxx

The next morning, your little band of six was up with the sun and making sure the horses were ready. Starting out with over fifteen, this smaller party felt like a speck of dust in the wind compared to the massive herd you were before.

Joel had introduced you to the remaining members, people he personally trusted, which from your brief time with him, you knew meant a lot.

First was an older man named Jack, closer to Joel’s age with graying hair and a laugh that was infectious. He was a whisperer when it came to the horses. Well, any animal, really. You could have sworn you saw a butterfly land on his fingertip when no one was looking earlier this morning.

He looked over both shoulders so slightly you almost missed it, but he did a double take when he caught your eye, a small smile spreading up one side of his face as you both watched the small winged creature take flight once again. Jack held his index finger it had been perched on up to his lips in a bid for your silence, to which you only pressed your lips firmly together and gave a single stilted nod to try not to draw attention toward either of you.

It didn’t work.

“What’re you doing?” Joel asked from your right, drawing out the words skeptically to match the raise of his eyebrows in question.

“Nothing,” you offered quickly, fastening your backpack closed and gathering the last of your gear before heading over toward your horse. Once your back was to him, you grimaced. That was much too fast to be convincing.

“Uh-huh. Sure,” he drawled sarcastically, mumbling something under his breath when you didn’t acknowledge him. Something along the lines of, “She ‘nd Ellie’ll be the death’f me.”

It was Jack’s whiskey that had helped Jane’s wound yesterday. He hadn’t hesitated offering his little hip flask out of a secret pocket on the inside of his jacket as soon as he saw the state she was in.

A man pulled you gently off to the side before you could make it over to Jane, Joel following quickly after you less than a step behind.

You didn’t know his name, just that he seemed trustworthy, and slightly tortured. His eyes held a closed off level of pain you’d seen all too often since outbreak day, once or twice in your own reflection, and you knew not to judge how a man chose to fight his demons.

So it was no surprise to you when he offered the stainless steel little demon chaser he obviously kept with him at all times, primed and ready. The liquid sloshed a little inside as he quickly tugged it from his hidden pocket. It was dented in a few places, worn and obviously loved. It had seen better days, but that was kind of the point…. It saw “better” days in order to help you see some better days yourself.

Or to help you sleep through them.

Whichever helped most.

It was the apocalypse.

Who were you to judge?

“Take it,” the man said, holding it out, his hand shaking slightly as he gripped the lifeline with just the tips of his fingers in a hesitant extension. “She needs it more’n I do.”

“Y’sure?” Joel asked, as you eyed the tremble of the man’s fingers. “Withdrawal is no joke, Jack.”

The man who you now knew as Jack’s features curled up in some sort of shame, then determination. He bounced the flask slightly in a renewed offer toward the two of you, his extended hand more firm as he worked hard to calm the tremors. “Neither is being stabbed. What she’s going through is worse than a few uncomfortable nights for me. I’ll survive.” Try as he might, the flask started to vibrate slightly, and he looked down at it like it had betrayed him.

And in a way, you guessed it had.

Reaching out to gently cradle his hand in both of yours, the tremors seemed to still for a moment. Holding his gaze, you took the flask from his grasp, not missing the way his grip tightened just a little before releasing it.

Withdrawing his hand back to his side after a delayed moment as if he had been shocked by some electric current, curling it into a tight fist and quickly stuffing it deep into his jacket pocket, Jack smiled brightly as he looked between the two of you. “Jus’ don’t shoot me when something crawls up my ass in a few days, Joel.”

“No promises,” the elder Miller grunted with a small grin, turning and ushering you toward Jane to make sure no one else interrupted you along the way.

Next was a younger man named Liam, who looked to be around Will’s age. Despite being new to patrols or going on runs and all they would entail, he was eager to learn and an excellent shot.

Turns out he’d also come from Texas, though was much younger when everything had happened, probably only twelve or fourteen years old on outbreak day, so you assumed he and Joel hadn’t crossed paths until later, somewhere closer to Jackson.

And you couldn’t help but feel like maybe Joel was playing a little bit of a favoritism card for his home state, allowing the much younger newbie to tag along with all the other more experienced travelers when he still had so much yet to learn. (You couldn’t blame him if he was. It was yours, too, after all.)

It wasn’t until you heard Liam mention how his family had worked for Joel’s contracting company ‘once upon a time’ - to which Joel had walked past grumbling something resembling, ‘I ain’t that old’ - that things started making a little more sense.

Less of the home field advantage, and more of the home grown kind.

It was becoming clear that Joel was a family man, although to be honest, that was obvious from the start. What you were coming to see was that family wasn’t all just blood.

And that was a decision he made long before the apocalypse.

That was just Joel Miller.

That was his DNA.

If you found yourself in his fold, you’d be okay.

Taken care of.

Even when the world went to shit and he ran into your kid thousands of miles away across the country when everyone was fighting against infectedâ€¦.

That boy would have a home.

You watched with a smile as Joel helped Liam adjust something on his rifle, then braced it on his shoulder and looked through the sights down the barrel with one eye squinted shut, before lowering the weapon and handing it back to the younger man.

Liam copied Joel before pulling away only a step to meet the elder’s gaze, and they shared some quiet words. Some muttered joke drifted to you about old eyes before Joel lightly cuffed him along the back of the head with a smirk and a smartass as he turned to leave, Liam grinning with a chuckle as he turned and secured his rifle to the side of his mount.

With your own grin pulling up your features, you turned slowly and surveyed the rest of the group as you stroked your horse's mane. “I think we may just make it, old girl,” you mused quietly, turning a skeptical eye on your mare when she chuffed at you. Rolling your eyes, you looked back to the group, and mumbled under your breath, “If Joel were a horse…. You’d be it, darlin’.”

The last newcomer to you was a woman named Kate, about your age, and a walking encyclopedia of every living thing in the forest. What you could eat, what you couldn’t, what was medicinal, what was flammable…. Before the outbreak she had been a nurse, and her skills were invaluable to have around on an excursion like this.

She had offered to help with Jane, but Will only let her supervise. No one could pull him away from the wounded seamstress. Under any other circumstance you would find it endearing, but at that particular moment, you found it anything but.

You tried to speak calmly, but the man was trying your last nerve. “Will, she knows what she’s doing. Let her help.”

He lifted his eyes to look at you from where he knelt on one knee on the other side of Jane, and you swore you saw tears brimming in them. If he blinked, you were pretty sure they would fall. But he hadn’t blinked as long as you’d been looking at him, which struck you like a bolt of lightning when you realized how long that had been. It was almost as if he was afraid to close his eyes. Like if he did, she would be gone when he opened them againâ€¦. Even if only for a second.

“I’m not moving.” He pulled his gaze higher to meet the sympathetic face of Kate. “But she can supervise.”

You began to argue again, but Kate put a hand on your shoulder. “That’s fine. I can do that.” Her voice was soft and soothing. “Let me go grab my kit, and I’ll walk you through it, Will.”

He swallowed roughly and nodded once, not looking directly at her, his eyes falling back down to look at Jane who hadn’t woken up since she’d passed out at the raider camp.

“You’re lucky she’s unconscious, or else she’d be giving you an earful right now,” you sighed, letting your weight slump back onto your seat. Resting your forearms on your bent knees, you studied Will cautiously as your head lolled to the right with a tired huff.

“I’d gladly take that over this silence right now,” Will said so quietly, you almost missed it. He held one of her hands in his own, so fiercely and yet cradling it so delicately, you couldn’t even begin to hope to describe it should you have to.

He maneuvered so her head was in his lap, and he peered down at her with a look you thought had died off on outbreak day. Something so tender, so soft, contentedâ€¦.

Come to think of it, you’d seen it on Joel a few times, usually when he was looking at Ellie, or Tommy, though the last was short lived.

Occasionally when he would look down at his watch, though that fluctuated between pain and this sense of peace and contentment.

Almost always when he was in his shop, tool in hand and project on the table.

And sometimes, when he thought you weren’t looking…. Like right now…. He had this look when he’d steal a glance at you.

Stealing your eyes over Will’s shoulder, you met the eyes of your current housemate, and instead of darting away like they usually did, he held your stare as he absently tended to his horse’s tack.

“It’s weird to see her so quiet….”

Will’s soft words pulled you back to the matter at hand. And you could have sworn you saw Joel grin in your peripherals.

“You’re gonna wish you never said that,” Jane mumbled, groaning as she rolled her head to the side, her face screwed up in pain. “Once I start going, I don’t stop.”

You grinned. “It’s true. She doesn’t have an off button.”

Jane reached out and whacked your arm. “Be nice to me. I’m dying.”

“No, you’re not,” Will said around his broad grin, maneuvering her head off of him so he could get beside her for a better view. The smile he gave her then was nothing short of brilliant. “Not if I can help it.”

Speaking of….

“Joel? Where’s Will?”

He smirked with a gentle shake of his head. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Gripping the reins of his horse, he clicked the side of his mouth quietly as he got near the creature's head, stroking it softly with one hand as the horse nickered at him.

You led your horse over toward him, reins pulled tight as the giant, powerful, dapple gray wonder named Delilah balked, digging into the earth and tossing her head side to side with a discontented snort.

She’s as stubborn as he is. Fact, I’m pretty sure they planned this. Conspired and everything.

“I plotted nothing with your horse,” Joel mused quietly, amusement heavy in his tone as you realized you said the last part out loud. “Only thing Delilah and I conspire ‘bout are sugar cubes n’apples.” He shrugged. “There’s the odd carrot talk here n’there, but….”

Joel sighed before you even really got moving, as if he were anticipating the whole thing. His head tossed back as he peered up at the sky as if to ask why.

Dropping the reins you closed the last few feet between you and Joel, arms coming to cross over your chest once you landed behind him. “Well, I’m gonna.”

Joel sighed again, resting his head against his horse’s, who let out a soft contented bray, before pulling back to look at you. “Will’s okay,” he said softly. “Now, leave it alone.”

“How do you know?” You swiveled to follow him as he walked over to gather your horse’s reins, shushing the large mare until she, too, was nickering at him, then he led her back over to you.

Joel shrugged, pulling his face tight in amusement as he placed the horse’s tack back in your hands. “Jus’ do.”

“If you don’t tell me….”

He mounted his horse with a groan. “I patrol with the man. I just know his little quirks, okay?” Looking down at you from atop his mount, Joel’s expression was unreadable as his horse stepped back and forth, eager to get going. He reached out to pat the back of the large chestnut’s head, muttering calming words. “Shhhh…. Calm down, Old Beardy….”

“Your horse's name is-”

“He’s not in trouble…. Yet,” Joel cut you off, sitting up abruptly, slightly wide eyed on the back of Old Beardy. “But if he keeps pesterin’ Jane like I think he’s wantin’ to,” his eyes narrowed in on you ever so slightly as he leaned back over his horses head to offer soothing circles of comfort on the side of his neck, “that could all change very quickly….”

You scoffed, arms across your chest cinching tighter. “Really?” They rearranged to your hips as you leaned toward him with each word, most likely for emphasis, but you weren’t entirely sure. “Was that a not so subtle dig at me to stop pesterin’ you?”

Joel shrugged, one shoulder going slightly higher than the other, as he sat back upright astride his horse and an amused grin started to pull up one cheek. “You said it. I didn’t.” With that, he nudged his horse forward, moving past you at a slow walk, and you could tell he was trying hard not to smile.

Xxx

Without Will here, the group traveled in relative silence. After a while, it became unbearable for you, and you steered your horse to sidle alongside Joel and his steed.

“Ellie told me Tommy was your patrol partner.”

Joel nodded. “Mmm-hmm. Usually is.”

You watched a butterfly fly in front of you, smirking as you glanced at Jack and found him already grinning in your direction. “So what changed?” You focused back on Joel and the road ahead.

Joel sighed, adjusting in his saddle. “He’s gonna be a daddy soon.” Your eyes bugged out of your head, making him chuckle. “Yeah, that’s ‘bout the same reaction I had.”

“Same reaction we all had,” Jack chimed in, making everyone laugh softly.

“I dunno. Seems like he’d be a good dad,” Liam posed.

“What makes you say that?” Kate had turned in her saddle to face the youngest of the group, her eyebrows nearly in her hairline.

“It’s just a gut feeling.”

“A gut feeling,” Jack agreed distantly, staring straight ahead. “And by that you mean the thought of it makes your stomach turn.”

As Jack passed by on your right, you reached out and shoved his shoulder lightly.

“What?” The man protested, looking at you wide eyed. “It’s true! Ain’t no way the words Tommy Miller and Daddy ever came up together naturally….” Jack grimaced as he turned back to face forward again. “‘Least not in any way I care to think about.”

“Watch it,” Joel warned teasingly. “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, asshole. He may be a stick in the mud and about as sharp as two spoons trying to pick up pudding-”

Your face twisted in confusion as Joel took a breath. “Um, spoons could easily pick up pudding. That’s not an insult. You must be tired.” Joel turned his glare on you, and you simply grinned around it, continuing on. “I think you were going more for something like spoons trying to cut through stone?”

The group all snickered behind you as the two of you simply stared at one another, amusement hiding deep in your expression while annoyance clearly painted his.

“I concur with Liam,” you agreed instead after a moment. Joel huffed and turned his gaze on the young man who only shrugged in response before he was looking back at you.

“A Miller man an actual daddy,” you mused quietly, smiling softly as you stared straight ahead. “I don’t think the world could handle the awesomeness.” Looking back over at Joel, you expected to see him grinning at the playful banter, but instead he looked somewhat sad.

The same expression he had when he looked at his watch sometimes.

In fact, he glanced down to it now. It was brief, but you caught it.

It wasn’t the look Will had had with Jane. This was that sad, forlorn expression, like he was missing something. Like a piece of his soul was gone.

But as quickly as it came, it went.

Without a glance your direction, he pulled his eyes up to the path ahead and squinted as the horses pulled into another clearing and sunlight shone directly on his face.

“Yeah,” he finally gruffed, clearing his throat as he purposefully looked at the forest around him. “He’s gonna be great. Anyway….” He nudged his horse faster, seeming to head for the next pocket of tree cover a few yards away. But you weren’t that dense and could tell he was just trying to get away from the conversation, so you followed suit, falling into step beside him once again.

Joel sighed almost imperceptibly when he heard your horse's footfalls lining up with his own once again. You could have sworn his eyes rolled slightly, too, now that they were not squinted in the shade of the tall trees. But he went on regardless. “Maria’s been sick a lot more the further the pregnancy’s gone, so…. Told him t’stay home.”

Nodding, you kept your gaze forward, allowing Joel a respite from prying eyes. This was all a tender subject, and you still didn’t know why, but you could respect that. “Well, it looks like Will is a good one to take his place,” you mused quietly.

Glancing over, you saw how Joel’s expression brightened again, his eyes casting down to the ground like a bashful kid. “He’s alright.”

The group made it a decent ways, a handful of miles between all of you and the former bandit camp now that there were fewer of you, plus you didn’t have the cart to slow you down.

Even so, you still missed Jane and Will. They both added a quiet energy to the group even if they never said a word.

But they both always said plenty.

Joel had the group stop at an abandoned cabin on the very edge of the forest, letting the horses rest and grabbing a bite to eat from what was packed. Everyone was settled in and halfway through some sandwiches, when suddenly you could hear muffled galloping through the cabin walls. It was approaching rapidly in the distance, back in the direction you had come from.

The whole party sat up abruptly, food long forgotten as they reached for their firearms and listened closely.

“Everyone stay inside,” Joel mumbled quickly, striding over to the small fire in the cabin's hearth and setting his cup of water on the mantle, swapping it for his rifle already resting there, always within arms reach.

Jack and Kate cocked their rifles, clicking them over to safety and resting them across their laps while they remained in their seats by the fire, watching Joel head out the door. Once the elder Miller had passed the threshold, the door softly latching shut behind him, Jack clicked his safety off. Kate arched a brow at him, and he shrugged.

“Better safe than sorry.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “And if it’s nothing? And you get jumpy? What then?”

Jack huffed quietly at her whispered admonishment. “I don’t get jumpy.”

Casting her eyes down to his still trembling hands pointedly, she pulled her eyes back up to meet his and arched a brow. “Maybe you don’t, but that leftover whiskey in your system sure does.”

Flipping his hand under the barrel over to grip the armrest of the chair in an attempt to stabilize himself, Jack glared at Kate, but quickly turned the glare down to his hand when the tremor instead began to rattle the loose wooden pegs holding the seat together.

“Point taken,” he grumbled, flicking the safety back on before sitting on his practically vibrating palms, his rifle braced across his thighs. After a moment he hurriedly grabbed the rifle and rested it against the stone fireplace in front of him, sitting back on his hands and adding a bouncing knee to the routine. He looked at Kate and shrugged. “It’s gotta work its way out somehow.”

Turning away from the two by the fire, you spotted Liam still asleep in one of the long abandoned bunks in the cabin corner, and you couldn’t blame him. An actual mattress that hadn't gone to hell was hard to come by. You smiled faintly after remembering how he had plopped in it within five seconds of entering the structure.

“Anyone wakes me sooner than morning, clickers are gonna be the least of your worries,” he said, flat on his back and eyes already closed, followed by a contented sigh as he melted into the slightly redeemable box spring.

The dust particles that had filled the air in a violent swirl when his back hit the mattress had finally begun to settle. They floated through the lazy sunbeams that danced through the remaining cabin windows, dirty as they were, reminding you of lazy weekend afternoons back before the outbreak.

A lawnmower going down the street.

Kids laughing in the cul de sac.

The smell of barbecue from somewhere nearby, or just a fire as people stood round to watch it for fun in their back yard with a drink in hand and relax.

Not to rely on it for warmth like now.

For food.

Usually outside and in silence for fear of what lurked just out of sight.

You hadn’t thought about these things in so long….

Since before moving to Jackson.

Before Joel and Ellie….

Shaking your head, you shut your eyes to quit staring at the dust particles long enough to focus back on the matter at hand.

Liam. Hoofbeats. Focus.

Looking back at the peacefully sleeping young man, you grinned slightly. Shifting your weight side to side once, you sighed heavily through your nose.

Sorry, kid.

After absently adjusting the strap slung across your shoulders of the rifle you’d stolen from the raiders, tugging where it pulled tightly at the center of your chest, the weapon a heavy reminder at your back, you walked quietly over to him.

Gently nudging his shoulder with your left hand, you then held the index finger of your right up to your mouth to indicate silence as he stirred and began to ask what was happening in a bleary voice.

Liam turned his head toward you, his face screwed up like you had a flashlight trained on his face in the darkest of nights. “Who dares to distur-” The hand rubbing one eye froze mid swipe, and he stared at you with the other eye that was still exposed.

Suddenly fully awake, his palm trailed up to rest on his forehead as he blinked a few times then looked wide eyed around the cabin and saw everyone with their weapon either in hand or at the ready.

He sat up abruptly, his hand falling to his lap soundlessly as he continued to scooch closer to the edge of the mattress, miraculously avoiding every traitorous squeaky spring in the thing.

Once at the edge, feet still propped up on the tiny cot, he reached down seamlessly into his open backpack resting on the floor against the foot of the cot closest to his head, and pulled out a machete, bringing it up to rest on the bed beside him as he gave you a single nod.

It was a very Joel thing to do.

A snort of amusement pulled your attention back over your shoulder where you saw Jack looking on with a grin, nodding in approval. “Kid’s got the right idea,” he said just above a whisper.

“I learned from the best,” Liam mused around a grin.

“Yeah, Joel’s really been passing on some gems,” Kate said, looking slyly at Jack, and snorting in amusement when he turned a disapproving glare her way.

“The kid wasn’t talking about Joel,” he groused. “He’s my patrol partner, Kate. He meant me.”

“I actually meant Tommy.”

All three sets of eyes turned to Liam, before quiet snickers of laughter went around, the younger man beaming at the attention.

“Nah, I’m just joking.”

“We know,” Jack coughed softly, eyeing the door of the cabin when Joel still hadn’t returned, clearing his throat.

“I meant Ellie.”

This time the laughter was a bit louder and unrestrained, but still quiet. A thump on the cabin door was heard, then it swung open and Joel popped his head in.

“Hush!” He hissed to the four of you, the continuous growing sound of approaching hooves filling the following silence of his deathly stare. “You four are louder than a horde!”

The cabin door shut silently, but it might as well have been slammed with the finality it gave. The four of you exchanged looks.

“‘Least we smell better than a horde, though.”

Jack’s off handed comment made the rest of you snicker quietly as you tried to follow Joel’s request.

“Speak for yourself,” Kate grumbled. “Most of us do, ‘nyway.”

Jack and Kate shared another little stare off as the tension of the impending approaching hoofbeats grew closer.

Meanwhile, Joel had slinked around the side of the cabin outside for a better vantage point before the newcomer on horseback could get any closer. You were able to track him through two of the cabin’s windows before you lost sight of him. If he stayed on the path you’d last seen him on, then he would have made it just behind a pile of firewood and out of sight when the rapidly approaching horse crested over the tiny hill and came into view.

His footsteps were virtually silent, only the foliage crunching underfoot could give him away, and he was careful to not let it. Aside from one or two traitorous twigs that helped you all in the cabin follow his movements once he was past the windows, he was like a ghost.

Suddenly his footsteps shuffled carelessly, every leaf and twig breaking under his weight and being kicked to the side with little to no effort to mask his steps as he slid to a stop at the same time you heard a second male voice.

It was familiar as it yelled, “Woah, woah,” overlapping the sound of a horse breathing heavily as the galloping came to a stop. Then a thud as someone hopped onto the ground from a height, you guessed from the back of the horse, the foliage underfoot crunching from the impact.

You were so concentrated trying to place the familiar voice that had called out to the horse, you missed the pair of returning relaxed footsteps back toward the cabin. The low, muffled voices exchanged a murmured conversation you couldn’t quite make out even if you were paying attention.

The cabin door suddenly swung open, and there stood Joel, a grumpy look on his features, followed by an amused looking Will.

“Told ya he was fine,” Joel grumbled, holding your wide eyed gaze.

The other three members of the group let out a collective sigh, of what you assumed was relief, all of them stowing their weapons once again and settling back into the comfort and warmth that had been interrupted.

Will stayed outside to tend to his horse while Joel came back into the cabin, grumbling something about not signing up for this the whole way back to the fireplace.

As Joel passed behind Jack, he pulled the chair the older man was seated in back, making his friend reach out to stabilize himself before looking up at Joel skeptically. “And you do smell like a horde. Go use the rain barrel out back and clean up, ya ass.”

“It’s the shakes,” Jack mumbled, staring at the floor in embarrassment as he got to his feet before heading for the door. “They make me sweat somethin’ fierce.”

“Then use this as ammunition to never let the whiskey get you this bad again, Jack.”

Pausing halfway to the door, the older man looked up to meet Joel’s piercing expression, the embarrassment on his own melting away into determination. The two men held each other's gaze for a moment before Jack nodded once and headed out the cabin door.

“I’ll go with him. Make sure he’s okay.” Kate stood up, slinging her rifle across her shoulders and grabbing Jack’s from its spot still against the fireplace. “After everything, I’d prefer someone watch my back, too. Only fair I watch someone’sin return.”

Joel nodded and watched her follow after Jack. When the front door opened, you could see Will tending to his horse out front before it closed again and cut off the outside world. He, Jack and Kate traded muffled words before Will came inside, swiping his sweaty brow in the crook of his elbow with the sleeve of his outer flannel layer.

Once he got settled into the cabin, hogging a space by the fire despite a look from Joel as he adjusted to make room, and several pieces of beef jerky from the main stash despite you and Liam staring him down pointedly, an overly excited Will explained everything.

Hold your horses I’m getting to it! How he rode all morning …. Can someone pass me some water? I think I swallowed a bug on the way here …. after sneaking out of Jackson …. Jerky has never tasted this good …. to try and catch up with the group once again after …. Man, whoever built this fire did a good job. It is hot! …. after Jane ‘threatened to maim him’ if he didn’t get ahold of her sewing machine. Shouldn’t be too difficult.

He had a starstruck look in his eyes the whole time, and you were pretty sure it was because he was living out his secret agent dreams by sneaking out of town and back to the group, but it was especially evident when he talked about Jane, making you smile.

Does he realize he would have done it if she hadn’t even asked?

He was wrapped around her finger already.

Kate and Jack had come back in by now and were in their seats by the fire once again, watching Will with bemused expressions.

“We had to get out before dawn so the council wouldn’t put a stop to it. Things are crazy since we got back and those raiders wouldn’t say a word. Became freaking mimes.” Joel snorted in amusement.

“Security was doubled instantly after we told them about the threats, so I had to pay off the south gate watchmen. By the way, Joel,” he turned toward the older man, “they get to choose their next three patrols.” He shrugged at the exasperated look from the elder Miller. “Was all they wanted. I told them they had to be done within the next three months or no deal, and they said fine.” Joel arched a brow.

Will took a deep breath, wincing slightly like he didn’t particularly want to relay this next part.

“Spit it out,” Joel growled, adjusting in his seat in front of the fire to face it, holding his hands out toward the flames.

“The council aren’t too happy that you didn’t come back with everyone.” He looked around the room. “Any of you.” Then back at Joel. “But especially you, since you’re partially in charge of security, n’all.”

“Well, ain’t that nice,” Joel mused quietly, the side of his mouth ticking up as he continued to stare at the fire.

“They mentioned a disciplinary hearing once this is all sorted out.”

Everyone in the cabin groaned at the mention of more politics.

Everyone but Joel. He just grinned, rubbing his hands together in front of the flames. “Well, I think Ellie said it bestâ€¦.” He looked at you, then Will. “They can bite me.”

“Speaking of Ellie,” Will grabbed his backpack where it rested at his feet, pulled it into his lap and unzipped it, digging into its contents with purpose. “She was real worried ‘bout both of you when she heard what happened.”

He looked up, his hand withdrawing from the bag and gesturing between you and Joel with his index finger, then went right back to rifling through the bag, making one side of your mouth pull up slightly at his antics. “So she sent these with me.” Pausing in his search, he shut his eyes in exasperation and tilted his head back toward the ceiling. “Don’t ask me how she knew I’d be leavin’, before you start yellin’, Joel,” Will disclaimed preemptively, his voice tired already as he focused back on the bag, returning it to the floor and withdrawing two items. “Girl’s got a mind of her own.”

Will extended a hand to each of you, the one for Joel holding an old revolver that the man looked at fondly, his eyes softening as he took it from Will’s hand, and tucked it into the back of his pants. The younger man reached back into the bag and pulled out a bandolier lined with bullets for the gun that you’d seen Joel using his reloading press to make out in the garage a few times.

Ammo could be hard to come by, depending on the caliber, so when Joel happened on some reloading equipment on a patrol, he’d been ecstatic. It didn’t matter that he’d thrown his back out trying to get the heavy gear home. Stubborn as he was, he made it work, he and his horse somehow tag teaming the equipment all the way back to Jackson from who knows where. He had not allowed Will to touch it the entire way back, some stupid childlike claim waging between them like finders keepers or something along those lines - you’d stopped listening with a roll of your eyes as they’d bickered the whole way into the garage with the equipment.

“Come on, Joel. I helped you get it here!” Will’s voice carried from the garage, his breathing heavy as he tugged the makeshift sled the equipment was on the last few feet over the threshold.

“I said no! Now drop it,” Joel groused, the following silence after a loud clatter almost deafening.

“You said ‘drop it’,” Will said nonchalantly.

Joel’s hiss could be heard clearly all the way in the kitchen where you were doing dishes. “I meant the topic, not the tools….”

“Well, maybe I could think more clearly if I hadn’t just trekked thirty five miles with all that weight-”

“It wasn’t thirty-”

“Felt like it-”

“You’re acting like a child-”

“And you’re acting like a grouch-”

“Don’t test me, Will.”

“But grouch is nothing new for you, Joel.”

“Oh, just fuck off.”

“Make me.”

“Oh, I will….”

“Boys!” When you walked into the garage, the two of them were nose to nose, chests puffed up and about to bump into one another in a ridiculous display of strength. “Stop it. You’re both idiots.”

They both turned their heads to look at you.

“He thinks-” Joel started, overlapping Will’s “I didn’t-”

“What did I just say?” Your hands went to your hips in admonishment, brows knit together in an unimpressed glare.

Joel turned back to Will, a heavy puff of air passing through his nose before he smiled. “Fine. Finders keepers.”

Will scoffed in protest as Joel peeled off to start unloading the equipment.

“That’s not fair!”

“I said what I said. Now don’t touch my stuff, idiot.”

With a shake of your head, you left them to sort out their nonsense, letting the garage door close behind you and muffle their bickering as you headed back to the kitchen.

The night before you left, you’d seen Joel and Ellie out there together, working with the press as he taught her the basics of reloading. You wondered how many of those she’d made herself as you watched him take the bandolier delicately, holding it in both hands out in front of him like you would a newborn child. Practically cradling it.

The look in his eyes as he ran them up and down the lines of bullets, surveying each shiny casing, was much the same as that of a parent looking at their brand new precious offspring just after they’d entered this world. It was a look once adopted that never really left. Something a little precious, awestruck, filled with wonder and love, and a hell of a lot of pride.

You were ninety percent sure he was thinking about Ellie, and not the ammo, though.

Well, more like eighty percent.

Will cleared his throat to pull your attention back to him, jostling his hand still held out to you.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, looking down at the offering.

You saw your yellow fanny pack being extended to you, partly deflated and sagging as Ellie had obviously removed all your tools you wouldn’t need on the trip.

When you took it from Will’s hand, an unexpected weight inside caught you off guard. Unzipping the main compartment once you’d clipped the belt around your waist, you pulled out a pocket knife you had seen Ellie flipping open and closed almost daily.

She was never without it.

….Except now….

….Because she’d sent it with you.

The room began to swim behind your unshed tears as they threatened to fall, but you blinked them away rapidly. This wasn’t the time for that. Nor was it the time for that thing catching in your chest as you traced the tip of your index finger over the worn housing of the blade.

After a moment, you looked up at Joel, and saw the surprise on his face before his eyes pulled up from the familiar pocket knife to meet yours, something like fondness taking over his features as they softened. “That’s her most prized possession.”

“Besides the garage,” you shot back, trying to speak around the emotions building up in your throat, clearing it in an attempt to rid yourself of them. A wet chuckle took their place as you held his gaze, your grip tightening around the pocket knife protectively.

Joel snorted, shaking his head gently as he looked back down to the bandolier. “Don’t start.” He slipped the ammo belt over his shoulders and across his chest, adjusting it minutely like a man would a tie on Easter morning.

It struck you for a moment how much life had changed since outbreak day. Men used to adjust their ties and now they adjusted their weapons.

These were thoughts for another day.

Setting the knife back in the main compartment of your pack, you dug out the rock Joel had given you to rest against your black eye from your jacket pocket, and really looked at it for the first time since he had given it to you.

It was smooth, almost perfectly round, yet flat enough to hold in the palm of your hand easily. A rich dark gray, almost black with white streaks running through one part of it that made it look slightly off kilter. As it caught the firelight, the white streaks glimmered slightly. They were some sort of crystal, barely the width of a sharpened pencil, yet still they decided to shine.

You wanted to be like that rock. Solid and steadfast, it knew what it was, until sometime when it was forming, something else came along to meld with it and left a mark, a scar, a blemish, and yetâ€¦. It was still beautiful.

Glancing up, you saw Joel already watching you curiously, his brow raised in amusement. Unable to hold his gaze, you shook your head slightly before looking back down to the bag, and tucked the rock in the main compartment right beside the pocket knife like you’d meant to do before you’d gotten distracted.

The sound of the teeth stitching closed as you zipped the bag shut once again acted as an anchor to your wayward mind.

“I’ll protect it with my life.” Looking back up, you caught Joel’s eye, and something unreadable passed across his face, his gaze fluttering down to the bag, then back up to meet your own, before turning to Will as they started in on another topic.

Holding out a hand to halt the conversation, eyes shut tight in confusion, you stopped them. “Wait, wait, wait.”

Ignoring Will’s exasperated sigh, you forged on. Opening your eyes, you peered at him with furrowed brows as you lifted only your index finger, gesturing to your left a few times. “Back up.”

He lifted his eyebrows at you in question. Bobbing your finger slightly as you continued for emphasis, you arched your own brows curiously. “‘We’?”

Faintly, in the distance the same direction Will had come from, you heard a wagon wheel squeak as it rolled closer toward the cabin.

After only a moment of exchanged looks in hesitation, Will refusing to give away anything, you all piled outside to see who the newcomer was. Just cresting over the little hill before the cabin came a horse with a rider moving at a casual pace, the cart from before that had taken Jane and the raiders back to Jackson being pulled along behind them.

Everyone smiled while Joel groaned and cradled his head in his hand when it was clear it was pulled by none other than Tommy.

“You guys have all the fun without me,” the younger Miller yelled good-naturedly.

Joel groaned a bit louder, starting toward the cart with determination. “Raiders n’infected’ll hear us comin’ a mile away with that wheel. What’d you do?”

Tommy scoffed. “First your hinges, now this? Why d’you always assume it’s me?”

Once Jack, Liam, and Kate saw who was atop the cart, and that he and Joel were quickly slipping into their usual ways, the three of them wandered back into the cabin, shaking their heads and rolling their eyes as the two men continued to bicker.

Will, however, stuck around for the show. He was a firm supporter of Miller Entertainment. So long as there was something to see, he’d be there.

Oblivious to the reactions of the others, Joel continued towards his brother, taking the reins of the horse he was atop as Tommy hopped off. “Because it is always you.” He handed the reins back to Tommy as he went to inspect the wheel quickly before they both returned to the now dwindling group.

“Well, you’re fucking welcome, y’old fucker,” Tommy grumbled teasingly. “This wasn’t my idea, anyway.”

You smirked. “Jane got to you, too, huh?”

He looked at you with wide eyes. “That woman is frightening.”

You and Will laughed, as Tommy looked between you with the same, wide eyed look of fear.

After a quiet moment filled with your dying laughter and Joel’s grumbling as he glared at the wheel, Tommy turned back to his brother. “I just want you t’be happy, Joel.”

Knelt beside the wagon wheel, inspecting it up close now that they were beside the cabin, Joel didn’t even spare his brother a glance. “Then leave me alone, you ass.”

Tommy unhooked the horse, and you led it over beside Will’s where the two men started taking the gear off of them to rest for the evening.

After a long moment of messing with the wheel, Joel turned his head up to Tommy from his perch on the ground, wide eyed. “Who’s watchin’ Ellie?!”

Tommy looked down at his older brother, hands on his hips, unphased. “Herself.”

With a shake of his head, Joel got to his feet and paced in a small circle with his hands on his hips. The two Miller’s looked like carbon copies of each other, and it made you grin. “They’re all doomed. All‘f Jackson….” He rounded on his brother, both of them squaring off with hands on their hips and a stern, stony expression. “What were y’thinkin’?”

You laughed. “You may not have your garage to yourself when we get back, Joel. She may take matters into her own hands.”

After turning his hard glare on you, he turned back to the wheel, wrestling with it for a moment and finally yanking out a small twig caught up in the mechanism, before standing back up and dusting off his hands with a dry, tight grin. “For everyone’s sake, she better fuckin’ not.” He nodded to Tommy. “‘specially him.”

“Why me?” Tommy scoffed.

“You’re th’idiot that left a teenager unattended in my house,” he groused.

“There’s not much she can-”

Joel just leveled a glare on him. “��member when y’threw that party when mom ‘n dad were out of town, and I was watchin’ you?”

Tommy huffed. “That was so long ago, Joel, and she’s way different ‘n I was. She ain’t the social butterfly like me,” Joel snorted, “anyway, it’s Jackson in th’middle’f a goddamn apocalypse. What the hell is she gonna do that’d be so awful?”

They shared a look, something unsaid that had Tommy’s expression shifting to some sort of understanding. He softly amended, “I’m sure she’s fine, Joel.” He clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “She’s stayin’ with Maria, anyway.” Tommy grinned at Joel’s groan. “I’m not entirely useless, big brother. I thought’f all that. Maria’ll make sure she gets t’school n’eats n’bathes….” That understanding passed over his face again, turning it to something soft, along with his tone. “She’ll be a normal kid, it’ll be fine.”

Tommy’s tone took on a teasing nature. “Besides,” he smirked. “That girl offered t’take my patrol shift for a week if I told you she was on her own.”

Joel’s eyes went wide as he stared at his brother, the shit eating grin on Tommy’s face only growing wider.

“My guess is for that very reaction.” He pointed at Joel, wagging his finger gently. “But of course I said like hell. She ain’t goin’ on patrol. No fuckin’ way.”

Joel visibly relaxed, his eyes closing in relief before they flew open and back on his brother with a skeptical brow raised. Waiting.

“So instead,” Tommy went on, smile only broadening, “she offered t’take my shift muckin’ out the stalls in the stable for a week. Somethin’ ‘bout ‘it’s all shits and giggles, but now instead it’s shits for giggles’…. I don’t know. Half the time when she speaks it’s like another language.” He was grinning like a fool by now. “Reminds me ofâ€¦.” That same look of understanding passed between him and Joel again, only this time something heavier seemed to carry underneath. His voice softened. “She’s a good kid, Joel.”

As they sat in their shared moment, you decided after a minute to break the silence. “Too bad you didn’t tell him, then,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

Tommy turned to you. “What d’you mean?”

You couldn’t help the smirk. “I didn’t hear anything ‘bout her bein’ on her own.” You turned to Joel. “Did you?”

He was grinning softly. “I didn’t hear nothin’. What ‘bout you, Will?”

Looking over at Will, you saw him grin like a cat with a canary. “Not a peep.”

Tommy sighed. “You bastards.”

“Takes one t’know one, ya idiot,” Joel hummed under his breath, turning toward the tack for the horses that had been set on the wagon to move it under the makeshift barn that had been set up for the evening.

“You’re so mean,” Tommy groused half heartedly as Joel passed by, pouting his lip out in an attempt to garner sympathy from his big brother who just turned to him and wrinkled his nose up at him in disgust. The younger Miller mimicked the face and lightly shoved the shoulder of his older brother, causing him to stumble sideways.

“Boys!” You called out, grinning when they snapped their heads your way in unison. “You’re how old again?” Turning toward the cabin, you called over your shoulder toward the men, “I’m just sayin’…. But just for shits and giggles….”

“Ah, shaddup,” Tommy called over the laughter of the other two.

The rest of the party had just stepped out of the cabin to see what all the fuss was about, when suddenly there was a very high pitched yet muffled sneeze from behind you.

Knitting your brows, you turned to Kate who had just walked past. “Bless you?”

She looked just as confused. “That…. Wasn’t me.”

You turned to Joel. Only making it as far as to open your mouth and take in a breath before he cut you off.

“Ha ha, very funny, darlin’. Wasn’t me.”

Another attempted assasination of a sneeze sounded from the back of the cart under a tarp, and all eyes went to it, staring in disbelief.

Liam was the first to break the silence after a long moment. “Did that tarp just sneeze?”

A very quiet and muffled, “Ow,” came next, and you’d know that voice anywhere, no matter how squeaky it currently was.

Your feet were moving before your brain was fully processing what you were doing, carrying you toward the cart.

Jack was quick to chime in behind you, with an entirely necessary, “Did that tarp just talk?!”

A second female voice, this one much younger and sarcastic came from under the tarp, dry and droll, “Nice going, blondie.”

Joel’s eyes went wide. They pulled up to meet yours where you now stood on the opposite side of the cart.

He moved so fast, you could have sworn he had super speed. He was on top of the wagon wheel and ripping the tarp back to reveal your stowaways before you could even blink.

To be fair, you were only half a second behind him, ripping the tarp off the rest of the way from the other side.

In the dying light of the day, Jane and Ellie blinked up at the two pairs of eyes peering down at them from around the edge of the cart, looking justifiably sheepish at the attention. Five more sets of eyes appeared slowly, trickling in as they realized what was going on, only adding to the squirming of the two stowaways.

You were the first to break the silent little stare off. Holding the gaze of your friend, you hissed quietly, “What are you doing here?! You just got stabbed! Are you crazy?!”

Jane wasted no time in coming to her own defense. “I told you!” She tried to sit up quickly, and hissed when her wound protested at the movement. Before you could even reach out to offer help, Ellie was quick to help her sit up fully, putting Jane’s arm over her shoulder to ease her into the right position slowly. She spoke through a grimace, “I want that sewing machine, and I’m gonna get it!” Her eyes opened fully, her voice strong. “Come hell or high water.”

After you let out a strangled puff of air through your nose in aggravation, hand still held out to help coming back to land on the edge of the cart with a smack, all eyes turned to the teenager beside her.

Ellie merely shrugged, Jane’s arm still over her shoulder rising and falling with the movement. “I’m just here for the show.”

Xxx

Your small party sat outside around a campfire, milling about as the evening wore on, tending to the horses and other menial things before everyone was set to take off in the morning.

Will would not leave Jane’s side. He was her human crutch. Literally. He helped her hobble around, and from the look on her face, she was about to shove him to the ground and run, damn whatever happened to her wound.

He was a sweet boy, but a girl needed to pee in peace, stab wound or not.

“Are you going to chew my food for me, too?” She snapped as he broke a piece of beef jerky down into smaller pieces for her to eat.

He just stared at her for a moment, frozen.

“I’m injured, not broken.”

Will nodded after a long pause, looking down to the jerky in his hands as they rested in his lap. “You’re right. I’m sorry. This is just really tough stuff and I didn’t want you to hurt yourself trying to rip it apart.”

Jane sighed. “No, I’m sorry.” She rested a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate all the help, I really do. I’m just a really independent person, and this…. All this needing help…. is driving me nuts.” Her hand fell down to rest on his. “Maybe we can compromise?”

He looked up and met her eyes with his own, smiling broadly. “I’d like that.”

Jane nodded once. “First things first,” she popped a bite sized piece of jerky in her mouth from the pile in his hand. “I get to pee without an escort.”

“But what if-”

“Will, I swear to God, don’t make me-”

“Fine! Fine, fine,” he held his hands up by his head in surrender, jerky flying every which way as he forgot he was holding it. He peered at it on the floor in disgust. “Oops?”

Jane had a sour expression on her face, her nose wrinkled up. “That’s yours now. Mmmmâ€¦. Floor jerky. Yum.”

You’d tried to return the pocket knife to Ellie now that she was back, but she wasn’t having it.

“Since you’re here, go ahead and take this….” Unzipping the main compartment of the fanny pack, you extended the pocket knife she’d gifted to you toward her.

Ellie lifted a hand, shaking it as she took a step back. “No. I don’t need it.”

Cocking your head to the side in question, you bent your elbow but kept your hand out, letting the pocket knife rest in your palm between the two of you. “You need something to protec-”

The teen pulled out a machete from a belt along her hips you hadn’t noticed before. Holding it sideways, she tilted the blade side to side, letting it catch the dying light of the day and the errant twinkle of firelight. “Liam already hooked me up. I’m good.”

You snorted. “But this is yours-”

“And now it’s yours,” she countered. “….for now.” Her cheeks flamed pink. “I want that back.” A look of determination came over her features as she jut out her chin to look down her nose at you. “So you better not die, Miss Fanny.”

Grinning, you tucked the knife back into your pack. “I’ll do my best, Sparky. I’ll do my best.”

Ellie grimaced. “Sparky?”

Zipping up your fanny pack, you looked up at her through your lashes. “It’s what you remind me of.” Once the knife was secure again, you lifted your head to look at her fully. “A spitfire.”

Her grimace deepened. “But Sparky? That’s like what you name a dog or something…. Or elderly men like Joel.”

Joel, who was only a few feet away tending to the fire sighed heavily, obviously listening in, before he chuckled lowly.

“Then what do you suggest?” Your arms came up to cross over your chest, weight shifting to rest on one leg as your hip popped out to the side.

“I dunno….” She looked at Joel. “He’s The Contractor,” she said it in a ridiculous voice, making you giggle, “so can’t I be something cool like that? Like, I don’t know…. The Lumberjack…. The Carpenter….”

“You have to do all those things to get those names, smartass,” Joel chimed in, not even bothering to turn around and face the conversation.

Ellie stuck her tongue out at him.

“The Artist….” You offered, smiling when you saw the lightbulb go off behind her eyes. Nodding once, your grin grew when her own started up her face. “The Artist it is…. Sparky.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the sour look her face instantly took on.

Tommy leaned back in his spot beside Joel with a loud groan, a mischievous grin starting up his face. “I just call it like it is. She’s Trouble.”

Ellie gasped, whipping her head over to look at him as her arms came to cross over her chest defensively. “And after I didn’t lump you into old man Joel territory over there.” She gestured to the elder Miller with a bob of her head before setting her sights squarely on the younger sibling once again.

Tommy shrugged demurely.

She glared at him, the ferocity of her expression causing you to chuckle softly as Joel let out a low whistle. “You’re dead to me, old man.”

It had dwindled down to just the two Miller’s, Ellie, and yourself. Everyone else was inside the cabin, tucked in and tightened down for the night.

“Come first light, we need to get out of here,” Joel mumbled as he leaned over at the waist, poking the fire with a long stick to rearrange the logs that had turned to coals before adding a few new fresh ones. He turned his head to peer over at you, then set his gaze squarely on the redheaded teen who sat across from the two of you, palms extended toward the fiery heat and her eyes studiously on the flames.

“The council isn’t gonna take long to put two ‘n two together, and I want as much distance ‘tween us when they actually do so we can just get this damn thing over with.”

Rising to his full height with a quiet groan, he didn’t even seem to register Ellie slapping her palm to her forehead and rocking her head back and forth in disbelief as he glanced down at you where you sat against a log to his left, his face twisted slightly in trepidation. “…. I didn’t mean-”

“No, I agree,” you nodded once, pulling your eyes from staring at the fire to look at Ellie in amusement before lifting them all the way up to meet his with a small smile. “Bleeding heart Miller over here probably got the town on red alert.” Bobbing your head to gesture across the flames where Tommy leaned against another fallen log beside Ellie, you grinned at Joel’s haggard sigh as he took his brother in.

Ellie turned to look at the older man with a disapproving scowl, one side of her upper lip curling back as her eyes swept him from head to toe. You could see every Joel mannerism she had picked up on as she surveyed the younger Miller, and it took everything in you not to comment on it.

Turning back to the subject at hand, you tilted your head to the side as you took in the sleeping giant.

Tommy’s legs were outstretched with one crossed over the other easily at the ankle, hands clasped loosely in his lap, and head tilted back as snores that grew with each attempt tumbled out of his lips.

“Not to mention they’ll raise the alarm when they notice Ellie and Jane’re missin’, too,” you added, watching Tommy begin to mutter softly in his sleep. You tried not to let Ellie’s wide eyes that snapped to you affect you from going on, not able to bring yourself to meet them. “Not to mention Will.” You looked up at Joel as you spoke softly, his own gaze meeting yours. “Tommy’s one thing. All four of ‘em?” You shook your head as your gaze fell back to land on Tommy. “All four of ‘em’s gonna set off all kinds of bells.”

“Not to mention a missin’ cart,” Joel grumbled, turning toward Tommy with a scowl that made the corner of your mouth tug up just slightly. You noticed in your peripherals it had Ellie grinning, too. “Which requires a horse….” He tugged off his gloves from tending the fire and tucked them into his back pocket with unneeded aggression, shaking his head. “Stealin’ all kinds ‘f’things, aren’t we, little brother?”

Joel sighed yet again, this one quieter and more to himself than anything, before taking a step over towards his sibling and kicking the bottom of his shoe with the toe of his boot. As Tommy sat up abruptly with a snort, making Ellie choke back a laugh, Joel eased to the ground beside you with a groan he tried to hide behind tightly closed lips. “Get up, mighty warrior. Get inside with the others. I’ll take first watch.”

“Wasn’t asleep,” Tommy mumbled dejectedly, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand.

Ellie scoffed. “Dude, you sounded like a buzzsaw ate a bear. You were totally one hundred percent snoring.” She got to her feet, brushing off the front of her pants, then the seat.

“You were sawing logs, cart thief. Now get.” Joel jerked his head backwards toward the cabin. “‘nd keep an eye on Trouble here.”

Ellie glared at Joel, but quickly turned her attention onto Tommy, helping him to his feet. “Come on, Uncle Tommy.”

“Told you not t’call me that, weirdo,” Tommy grumbled, blinking too many times against the firelight as his eyes still adjusted to being awake.

The teen threaded her arm through his and helped to stabilize him, starting toward the cabin. “That goes both ways, asshat.”

“Y’know what? You’re rude,” Tommy mused, pulling away just enough to look down his nose at Ellie.

“And you’re old. Now come on, cart thief.” She started to pull him back toward the cabin, looking over her shoulder and winking at you. She looked at Joel and offered a small salute before facing back forward and giving the man a tug that sent him stumbling forward slightly. “Beddy bye is just a mere few steps away.”

Tommy mumbled something nearly unintelligible, but you thought you caught the name Sarah, not missing the way Joel stiffened at the word, staring into the fire in front of him, and Ellie looking back at the two of you over her shoulder with a somewhat panicked expression.

The teen focused on Joel for a long moment, her features pulling into something sad, then determined as she looked at Tommy and finally yanked him toward the cabin, pulling him along by his ear until they were safely inside.

As Tommy slowly got to his feet and ambled toward the cabin with Ellie, you smiled, always enjoying their banter. They obviously loved each other despite how they bickered.

And whatever this Sarah talk was, clearly it was something important, but it didn’t feel like the right time to ask about it yet. Maybe someday.

Joel glanced down at his watch briefly and cleared his throat before tugging the sleeve of his jacket down to cover it. Once the material was over the broken dial, he placed his palm over the shattered face through the fabric and rubbed it gently back and forth for a moment, staring at the flames before softly shaking his head as if coming out of a fog. He lifted his hand off the watch and set it on his thigh, his fingers gripping his flesh a little too tight and dimpling the denim under his touch.

It was then you made the connection that Sarah had to do with the watch. Somehow. And you knew that had to do with home. Texas. Back on outbreak day. The thing he missed the most.

You didn’t like where this was going.

Catching Joel’s eye, you leaned back into the log once again. “Mind if I join you?”

He just blinked for a long moment, making you grin and settle back into the log even further, letting your head loll back slightly. “Let me clarify. Mind if I stay?”

Simply shaking his head after a minute, Joel turned back to the fire after staring at you for a beat too long. “Don’t mind.” He was mumbling. “You’ll probably be bored silly, but so’ll I, so, I guess that makes me selfish.”

You snorted a laugh. “No, no. It makes you human.” Turning to the flames, you felt a different heat on the side of your face as you noticed his eyes on you again out of the corner of your field of view. He stared for a moment too long to be deemed just a friendly curiosity before Joel cleared his throat, looking down at his boots before his gaze quickly pulled right back up to you, painting your skin in varying shades of heat as you felt his eyes trace over your features once again.

Something about that heat was much preferable to the little pile of coals inches from the tips of your shoes. Much more comforting, too, considering where your mind kept wandering to. “Can’t quite get to a place my mind’ll let me sleep, anyway. Not after everything….”

He nodded in understanding, and you saw his face turn back towards the embers after a last lingering moment of taking you in. The trail he had traced on your skin with just a look still felt warm and pleasant, but now began to cool under the loss of his attention. You found yourself angling slightly to lean just a bit closer to him to try and make up for it, catch just a wave of body heat. It wasn’t working.

“How’d y’learn all that?” When you arched a brow at him in question, Joel pointed back toward where everything had happened with the raider scumbag, and the general direction of Jackson.

Turning your eyes from him to the fire, you stared at the flames as they crackled. “I don’t want t’talk about it.”

“That’s fine,” he drawled softly, lowering his hand. A moment passed before an even quieter, “But that don’t come from nothin’.” He jerked his head toward the direction this time. “We’ve all got our demons. Hell, I’ve got too many t’count.” He turned back to the fire as you turned to look at him again. “N’most’ve us’ve killed our fair share. That’s just life now-”

“No,” you interrupted him, focusing back on the heat of the flames and away from the fire in his eyes as they landed on you once again. “That I’ve never done.” You waited a moment before adding a quiet, “Least not yet.”

A memory, sparkly and worn, something you’d viewed time and time again as it haunted your every quiet moment, awake or in the dead of night began to tiptoe behind your eyes.

A voice you’d rather forget drifted to the front of your mind, clearer than anything else, as if it were right in front of you yet again.

“This is just how things work now.”

Night seemed to be its favorite, though; when your defenses were at their lowest. It’d come slinking in like a thief, ready to steal your sleep, your sanity, your time….

The rest of a phantom conversation began to play in the theater of your mind, unbidden and loud, consuming anything else in front of you in favor of its wicked games once again on repeat.

“I said no.” Your voice was weaker than you ever wanted it to be as you struggled against hands that had always been helpful, but now they only sought to keep you still. Angry tears threatened to crack your resolve with every word.

The next thing you knew his gun was out of its holster and in your hand aimed at his stomach. How it got there, you still didn’t know. It must have jumped.

Telekinesis.

Something.

It’s the only thing that makes sense. Because the alternative is that you grabbed it voluntarily, and that was a road you were not willing to travel down.

A sneer of disbelief colored his face as he held his hands up in surrender, looked down to the gun, then to you, eyes narrowing as he chuckled softly in amusement.

“You wouldn’t.”

He moved toward you, whether to move the gun or move you, you didn’t know.

You’ve analyzed it over and over again for years, and this is the point where it always goes black, blissfully giving you a respite from the rest of the gory details.

The echo of the hammer on the revolver cocking back in prime to shoot echoed in your mind then just as much as it did now. You remembered how the sound filled you with a grim satisfaction, a smirk crawling up your face now that was too terrified to even try then.

Blissful darkness continued to fill the next moments as you were lost in the memory, absently staring at the fire in silence, until a resounding phantom gunshot echoed around the walls inside your head when Joel said your name, making you jump.

When he said it again, the concern swelling in his voice made your breath stutter.

Blinking the darkness away, you saw the fire once again come into focus in front of you, and out of your peripherals, Joel leaning forward beside you, tilting his head to the side in question as he tried to catch your eye. His features were drawn cautiously.

Pulling your knees up closer to your chest as a chill ran down your spine that was from anything but being cold, you gave him a sideways look before turning back to the flames. “I’m fine.” You wrapped your arms around your legs to hold them tightly to yourself.

“Y’look it,” he teased.

Cutting your eyes his way, you found Joel smirking slightly at you, but his eyes still held concern as they studied your face, then made a run up and down the length of you, pausing on your hands briefly.

That’s when you realize you’d clenched them into fists so tight, you had indentations from your nails on your palm when you released them. With a sigh, you turned your stare back to the fire. “I’m fine, Joel.” Repeating the words didn’t help for some reason, so you continued on. “I…. I’ve never killed anyone, but….” Tilting your head back and pulling your knees tighter to your chest, you looked up at the stars. “I’ve come damn close once‘r’twice. Too close.”

“You don’t have t’talk abou-”

“The first person I lived next to in a QZ,” you started, smiling gently at his attempt to give you space on the topic. “He didn’t like the…. What did y’call it? Smelly noise?”

Joel scoffed in amusement, meeting your gaze as you lowered your eyes back onto him before staring toward the fire again absently.

“Came over after about a week t’tell me so, and I guess somethin’ in the way I said hello sounded like an invitation-”

The man stiffened beside you. “Y’know that’s not-”

Reaching out, you rested your hand on his forearm. “I’m kidding, Joel. I know I didn’t do anything, the man was just a pig.” You looked at him. “But thank you, though.” Turning back to the fire to find the words again, you took a deep breath. “Long story short, he tried somethin’, told me it was just the times we live in now, so I grabbed the gun he was wearin’ and threatened to teach him how no means no.”

A snort of laughter left Joel along with a gentle shake of his head as he too stared at the flames, giving you the space to finish your story.

“He didn’t think I would do it.” You went silent. The next time you spoke, even you could barely hear your own voice. “I probably should’ve. He went on t’do it to many others after me. Joined FEDRA. Should’ve seen that one comin’.” Clearing your throat, you shook your head and went on, voice a little stronger. “I shot him in the foot. Well, first I fired a warning shot to the side. He made some stupid comment about how he likes them crazy and lunged so I….” You made a finger gun with your left hand, pointed at Joel’s foot to your right, and imitated a shooting sound. “He gave me so many nicknames after that. So colorful. You crazy bitch, and-”

“I think I can paint a pretty clear picture, no need t’go on,” Joel said softly. His voice was gruff, not towards you, but the situation you’d found yourself in and the man with no name.

You nodded. “He’s why I left. After he joined FEDRA, he made my life hell. Made sure I got less ration cards, blacklisted me, caused all sorts’f problems. So I used what I had left t’pay someone to smuggle me out’f the QZ.”

“Nothing’s happened out here?”

“You mean outside the QZ?” He nodded. “No. I mean besides some infected, but I don’t count them. They’re technically already dead; it's just the fungus at that point. If we’re splittin’ hairs.” Looking out at the tree line, you sighed forlornly. “I used t’love mushrooms.”

After a second of silence, Joel burst out laughing, a low gravelly sound rumbling from deep in his chest. It vibrated you from your spot next to him, your very bones seeming to resonate with him. He was under your skin, and that made you smile.

“Y’know,” he started after a minute. “I just heard ‘bout the most Texan come out’f your mouth in the last five minutes than the whole time I’ve known you.”

“The most….?”

“‘I’ve come damn close once‘r’twice,’” he mimicked your words from earlier, emphasizing you’re lackadaisical grammar.

“Pfffft,” you blew out a huff at him. “Did not,” you countered, pushing his shoulder slightly.

“You’re slippin’” he teased with a grin, watching the flames.

His smile was contagious. “I’m just comfortable, is all. Comfortable and tired.”

“Oh good gracious, there it is again.” He looked at you mischievously. “Tired.” He drawled the word ridiculously now.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I do know how to shoot a gun, Joel.”

He nodded once in understanding. “Yes, ma’am.” Quickly turning his eyes back to the fire, he glanced back up at you only once briefly, the side of his mouth twitching up before his eyes fell back down to the wall of heat.

As you sat around the campfire, it had dwindled down to just the two of you. You watched him as the firelight reflected in his eyes, a small smile continuing to pull up his face as he stared into the flames.

“What?” He asked after a minute, pulling only his eyes up toward you, his head still angled down. “I got somethin’ on my face?”

You snorted. “Besides your age, which you wear brilliantly, by the way? No.”

“Ouch,” he chuckled. “Thank you? ….I think?”

Grinning, you leaned your shoulder into his before sitting back upright. “You’re welcome.” Despite having sat back how you had been, the sides of your arms now brushed one another’s, and neither of you made an effort to move.

“So.”

He finally turned his head to fully look at you. “Yeah?”

“Why are you so opposed to Ellie moving into the garage?”

He sighed, glancing over his shoulder toward the cabin before looking out across the small camp toward the tree line. “Ugh, not you, too.”

“Is there something you’re worried about, or is it just…. Puttin’ your foot down?”

Joel heaved another sigh, eyes darting back and forth along the trees as he stared at them absently. “It’s…. I don’t know.” He paused, letting out a breath before taking another deep one as he started again. “We…. We went on a really, uh, tough trip together to get here. To Jackson, I mean. All the way from Boston. It’s been a rough road for her.”

“For the both of you, it seems,” you offered quietly. He looked at you and you shrugged. “You traveled together. If it was hard for her, it was for you, too. That’s just how it goes.”

“Yeah, I….” He looked at the flames. “I guess so.” He smiled softly before it faded. “I guess I just don’t want her that far from me.” He looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers, the tips of them dancing along the band of his watch before he closed his hand around the worn fabric. “Not yet.”

“It’s five extra steps, Joel.”

“I can keep an eye on her better down the hall.”

“You walked across the country together, a few more steps won’t break you.”

“You don’t know that,” he objected quickly, somewhat defensively, meeting your eyes again with his own as a dry chuckle painted the last of his words.

Smiling softly, you leaned further into his side slowly as you looked into the dwindling flames. “No, you’re right. I don’t.” He began to relax, his shoulders rolling forward as his weight slightly melted into you, staring at the flames once again himself. “But I’d like to think I’ve come to know you.”

Joel froze, his body tense once again as he listened to you go on.

Looking up at him through your lashes, you saw the firelight dancing across his face, sending him into all kinds of shadows. It could have been a trick of the light, but he looked almost nervous? His eyes were definitely apprehensive, and once you noticed that, you lowered your gaze down to his lap where his hand was once again digging into the fabric of his jeans.

“I don’t know what or who happened to you, and I’m not asking for details, that’s up to you. What I am saying is….” reaching up and across, you rested your left hand on his left forearm where it continued to press into yours with each deeper breath either of you dared to take. A small smile worked its way up your features as you saw his hand relax and unclench against the denim, his palm coming to rest on your knee instead. “You’re on a supply run for a teenaged girl to get paint. And to me?”

You turned just enough to catch his eye, finding his gaze already on you. When you realized that, you had to really think to remember what you wanted to say, swallowing roughly to remember how words worked as your eyes flicked between his own, your voice now something incredibly soft. “To me that paints a beautiful picture.”

Joel scoffed, his eyes studying your face for a long moment before he turned back to the fire that was now mostly coals, and started laughing. The sound started quiet but grew with each new round until it was a truly ruckus thing. “That…. was truly awful. And you say my puns are bad.”

You grinned as you sat back upright, pulling your knees tighter to your chest so you could rest your chin on them. He kept his palm on your leg, letting it ride just a bit above your knee and squeezed. “I have a bad influence. My roommates? Awful. All the time. Horrible, horrible puns.”

“Oh, really?” He arched a brow at you, giving your leg still in his grip a small teasing shake.

With a sigh, you tilted your head to the side to rest on the backs of your hands on your knees, studying him and trying to keep the damn smile off your face. “Yeah, they think they are so funny, but it’s really sad.”

He tilted his head back, looking down his nose at you in amusement. “Well, maybe you should teach them a thing or two.”

You grinned. It was inevitable. “Yeah. Maybe I will.”

Xxx

Tags to come!

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unclassedguy · 4 months ago

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I don't think I really enjoyed the latest chapter, and honestly from the way things are looking I'm probably not going to enjoy Jujutsu Kaisen's ending either....

I obviously like the characters, I like Yuji, I like Nobara, Megumi is alright.....I get wanting them to be happy. A lot of the stuff I draw in fact involves putting characters I like into silly situations as though they aren't in constant suffering in the source material (I'm immune to being serious 💔).

However, I feel like I'm not really vibing with this 'the trio is alright and they'll all be happy together' ending it seems Gege is setting up. I think part of it stems from the way Nobara and Megumi have been handled these past chapters. There was so much hype for Nobara's comeback.....I get it, she's a badass and fun character who's time in the story was cut awfully short.....I really do understand why so many people would want her back, but I just don't really like how close to the ending her return was and also the fact that up until that point it seemed pretty heavily implied that she had died. Not only that but her 'death' was such an important moment for Yuji and part of what made Shibuya and Yuji's story so tragic and Mahito so reprehensible as a villain. Nobara coming back so suddenly without even proper time dedicated to her (as in actual hints that she was alive and more chapters to explore the dynamics of her return and her contributions to the battle beyond one move) to make it feel even a smidgen satisfying just didn't sit right with me. The first thing I thought of upon seeing the chapter of her return was that it felt like fanservice. It felt like the type of thing a fan of the story would write for the 'hype' and not a choice that made sense. It was the same thing as Yuta returning in Gojo's body. People like Gojo, and having a chapter make it seem like he was coming back of course got the fans' attention. But in the end the story could've still worked well, maybe even better, without Yuta-jo's addition to the fight. It was unessecary.

Then we have Megumi who's been through so much for a good chunk of the story now. His body was taken over and used to hurt people he cares about, most of all his sister who is pretty much the center of his world, the person he loves the most. He'd given up, he'd sunk to the lowest depths submerged in Sukuna's evil. I feel like he sprung back pretty quickly......I don't think I'm as iffy about Megumi's return as I am with Nobara's considering Megumi actually at least got some pretty good and decent scenes with Yuji getting through to him and now also a talk with Sukuna.....but I dunno, I still don't know if I enjoyed how it was handled, particularly the fact that he just kind of comes back with no consequences after all the shit Sukuna's put his body through. I mean, he has a couple of scars sure but is that really all you'd expect after the world class beating he just got?????

Then we have Sukuna, reduced to glob of flesh. I don't mind Sukuna getting a pathetic death. After all he's done I think he deserved getting flung off his high horse and trampled on the ground. It still felt really abrupt though and like it didn't get enough time considering he's been such a big pain for months now and is one of the major antagonists. He's just suddenly gone and it felt anticlimactic and unsatisfying. I would've also liked to see at least a bit of what he was like in the Heain era.....

Hakari and Uraume too 😭. We really got none of their fight and when Sukuna is gone Uraume just....evaporates???? It honestly felt like Gege was just trying to get them out of the way so the series can end already and not an actual conclusion to their character. I wish they could've gotten more depth beyond being just Sukuna's loyal servant.

Them there's of course all the things Gege still hasn't touched such as Jin being Sukuna's twin, Kenjaku being Yuji's mom, the merger etc. Those things I guess I'm not as sad about because I'd already come to terms with the fact that Gege isn't going to get into them, at least not to the extent I would've wanted. It still sucks though.

Maybe I'm just a hater, maybe I don't understand what Gege was trying to do, maybe it's just a matter of preference. I think Gege probably tried his best with jjk using what he had and I don't think it'd be right to hate on him. And even if I am kind of dissapointed in where this story is going I don't blame anyone for liking it.

I may just not like 'happily ever after' endings or something. Not to say Jujutsu Kaisen is some super uplifting story even if the main trio has survived. There's still characters who have died and stayed dead, but it's still definitely a happier ending than what I expected.

At the end of the day, I like stories that put their characters through the wringer. I like stories that destroy everything their protagonist has ever had and turn their world upside down and accept no half-assed reparations to the damage they've caused. I like stories that fuck up everyone involved but still let at least one of them be smiling by the end, even if they're alone, because life is still worth living. Honestly, I would've preferred Yuji move on by himself than for a happy ending to be squeezed out of jjk's remains in a way that didn't feel satisfying. Though maybe I wouldn't be so sour about an ending where the trio gets to live together if we had just had more time to make it feel right. To make it feel emotionally impactful and like it wasn't just hype. I'd take a bittersweet but well-done ending over a half-assed good ending and a well-done good ending over a bittersweet ending....y'know?

Well, that's just my opinion.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk 268 #jjk leaks

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alyjojo · 2 years ago

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PAC - Your True Soulmate 😍

There is a LOT to unpack in this reading, we have 7 Piles to hopefully have a broad spectrum of different layers and personalities. I’m not personally a fan of small pile PACs like 3, it’s harder for me to resonate to when it’s so general, WHY make it easier? Go big or go home! Bahaha. I haven’t started yet, so by the end I’m sure I’ll regret this 😁 I’ve got color cards, charms, my new Creativity Oracle which I am just in love with, the whole shebang to get as many details as possible. Not everything will apply to any one person, so just take what resonates for you and leave the rest for whoever they’re for 🙏

Pile 1: Raindrops 🌧

4 Wands - Knight of Wands - Page of Coins

Regarding: 5 Pentacles

Dreaming Way: Dog rev & Ring

Oracles: Partnership, Push & Flash

Possible Signs: Taurus 💯, heavy fire 🔥 Capricorn/Aquarius with The World, Saturn & Star, Gemini with The Lovers, twice

Zodiac Message: North Node in Taurus

- Have faith in your beliefs by making the right connections.

- Do not worry about the costs of the idea in question.

- Now is the time to use the most direct way and get your ideas going.

Charms:

Bat 🦇 on Flash

Rocking Horse 🐴 on 5 Pentacles

Saturn 🪐 on The World

Diamond 💎 on Salmon Chairs

Key 🔑 on 4 Wands

Color Card: Salmon Chairs 🌷

“Come sit in my chair and feel my love”.

People, places and events are being drawn to you beyond your wildest imagination. Aim higher, for you will draw even greater experiences into your life. It is time to step up to the next level. All “things” are energy and will be drawn to you when you allow your energy to grow. The Salmon Chairs is being brought to you as a gift, to raise your faith and self esteem. It is a gentle and profound change in the way one relates to themselves, and the world. We create the life we feel we deserve. Often we feel we must do something to prepare, yet Salmon Chairs says “Stay in the light of truth, meditate, and relax - if you drink in the light and allow spiritual wealth, you will be surrounded by material wealth.” This is about subtle action, and receiving is an action. You are being told to sit still and receive the bounty that is coming to you. Salmon Chairs can also signify a love relationship in the wings, it’s your choice to receive it. It may also be a present relationship that’s moving to the next level, both spiritually and physically.

This person has very heavy Taurus energy in this reading. Even Salmon Chairs describes the energy of an Empress, which also applies to Taurus, and the North Node described here. This person will have been through some trauma or traumatizing experiences by the time you meet them. With all of the Knight and Page energy, you could meet them young, or they experienced a lot of pain while young, there’s definitely some level of trauma in this person. I kind of expected that sort of personality to come out when I chose the rainy picture, and you also may be able to relate to this person in that way. There is some level of abandonment and loss with them, they may have lost a parent, a friend, a child…can be literal or they can’t access them somehow or they may have abandoned their own child, maybe put one up for adoption or has gone through abortion due to xyz reasons. It happened to them or they did it themselves not fully aware, either can apply here. This can also just describe childhood trauma, but the rocking horse here points out a child specifically. It’s possible they’re taking care of an older child that’s lost a job, or they’re living with a child for that reason. Struggles are where they are when you meet them or a big part of who & where they are & have been.

It’s possible this person is divorced or separated from someone when you meet them. With Dog 🐶 being rev next to Ring 💍 it shows a lack of loyalty, not being able to be trusted or to trust someone else. Someone was not faithful, possibly them. They probably married very young, if married at all, rushed into it, and back out. It’s also possible they’ve done this to you, 2 Cups comes out with The Lovers, and The Star is here, there is definitely a Twin Flame dynamic with this person for someone. If so, they may have lost your trust in the past and it’s valid, but yes they are your soulmate and yes they’re coming back around. With North Node being Taurus, South Node would be Scorpio, whether that actually applies or not, it shows that while young there was more of a death & transformation dynamic to this person, disloyalty, lies, leaving things behind and avoiding the long term, future planning, or solid & stable connections. The path they’re heading towards is Taurus, stability, family, security, the home, long-term. It’s been a long process of maturing/healing for them, or will be.

These are lessons this person has to learn. With Bat 🦇 on Flash, they’ll be tapping into their intuition and may not be able to explain how they know something, but they’ll know. You may move very quickly with this person, moving in together very soon, possibly even getting engaged quickly as well. The Key being on 4 Wands can be a home, it’s like once this person knows what they want, there’s NO stopping them. Diamond 💎 on Salmon Chairs shows them as receiving bounty, money, being very successful, which is something new to them and there could be traumas relating to that too, that are healing over time. They have regrets about the past, whether they did things or had things happen to them, they aren’t totally healed when you come in but they’re heading in the right direction. There is something here about them holding back where their dreams are concerned, you could be helping them “push” towards that too, or you inspire them to take action.

Pile 2: Sunset 🌅

Ace of Pentacles rev - 4 Wands - Ace of Cups

Regarding: The World

Dreaming Way: Clover & Mountain

Oracles: Accomplishment, Secrets & Recycle

Possible Signs: Sagittarius 💯 Pisces, Capricorn & Scorpio

Zodiac Message:

Sun - Sagittarius - 9th House

- The creation of insights to understand spiritual values.

- The gaining of respect for or from the wisdom of long-range thinking or travel.

- Things brought to life or light resulting from the understanding of what is to be shared.

Charms:

Starfish ⭐️ on Wheel of Fortune rev

Sword 🗡 on Ace of Pentacles rev

Axe 🪓 on 7 Cups

Card Guard ❤️ on Knight of Wands

Sagittarius ♐️ on Sagittarius 💯

Rose 🌹 on Recycle

Color Card: Charmaine Chartreuse 🗣

“I never met a person I didn’t like.”

Charmaine Chartreuse suggests you begin finding the good in others. So much is lost when we do not appreciate those around us, for we lose the wonderful gifts of who they are. Appreciating differences will enrich your present situation. This can be a warning that you’ll lose a valued relationship if you do not appreciate what you have. Thinking the best of another person is more powerful than putting them down. Do not attempt to choose sides. Getting others to agree with you that someone else is wrong will also backfire, you may find yourself alone if you are not thoughtful. Wasting energy focusing on something you shouldn’t is also denoted here. Gossip is an indication you’re not focusing on your own life. What we think may not be the truth of the matter. Be aware now of how you speak of another, for the things you say will come back to you at this time. “Doing your own thing” may leave you lonely, and an aloof attitude may lead others to believe you don’t like them, when that isn’t true. If you’re feeling cut-off, consider that others may be waiting for you, and take a cue from Charmaine, being kind is called for from you, even if others are behaving in an inappropriate way.

This person is so clearly Sagittarius in energy that I’m kinda shocked to be honest. I knew that just with the tarot, three Sag cards, then came the zodiac message of the SUN in Sag and in Sag’s natural ruling house no less, and to top it all off, a Sag charm just in case anyone was confused 🤣 OK THEN. A major Sag placement 💯 There are other signs here, definitely more subtle, but this person *embodies* Sag energy in some way. I did notice Pisces here, slightly, but especially in this recycle card, the imagery is a Bird in the Sky and a Fish in the Sea, and I immediately thought of one of my favorite movies of all time, Ever After 🥰, and the line “A bird may love a fish sir, but where would they live?” It could be you that has Pisces placements, for some of you anyway. If not those specific signs, then the dynamic of one person initially doesn’t put many boundaries or standards in the first place, and the other person doesn’t know how to respect them even if there were, makes light of them or turns it into a joke. Initially.

This person pisses you off. You’ve wasted a lot of time on them, or you feel like you have. If they’ve tried to get at you before, you could feel they have, because forget it. In typical (not all) Sagittarian fashion, this is a typical (not all) “fkboy/girl” personality. They’re definitely a wanderer, they’ve traveled around a lot with whatever it is they do, maybe with their family. They could be foreign to you, a different skin color, nationality, speak a different language, something about them could be in stark contrast to whatever you are, which is something Sagittarius and the 9th rules. Culture! Long distances. Foreign contacts. If they’re not a Sag they could just be different. There is a feeling of freedom with this person, they won’t be tied down, no one has managed to…until you, and it won’t be easy. Or hasn’t been. One way you’ll know who this is, you’ve had to let them go before, or you did because you simply weren’t interested in all this.

Eight of Cups rev shows them making a return to your life, could be because they’ve lost a job, a home, an opportunity of some kind that’s out of their control (or destined). Wheel of Fortune rev can show bad luck, but they’ve got Clover here showing that’s not a regular thing and may be a destined/karmic event of some kind. Probably to get to you! Whatever *your* energy is, you don’t take this person at all seriously, they’re like a thorn in your side and you don’t trust them as far as you could throw them. Justifiably. But the passion is LIT 🔥 and the emotions are there, you want this person to BE trustworthy. This whole reading shows it takes effort, they’re a bit of a “project” emotionally and love is not really their forte, but they are your soulmate. They may have never even really been in love before you, or at least not in any similar sort of way. Love as a whole is not their first language.

Axe on 7 Cups is cutting off all of these other options they may have, ex’s that are “friends” or former flirty options, FWB’s, that sort of thing. The cute little Card Soldier on Knight of Wands is you having to be like absolutely not, you’re setting boundaries, and you’re not about to let this person near you period on some player bs. It turns them on, they like your boundaries, they aren’t threatened by your standards, it’s like a challenge to them & they know you’re right. Which is appealing, no? This person is going to change for you, or grow up more like. Maybe not the first time you interact with them, with there being an energy of “coming back”, but whenever they do, they’re ready for you to set your terms so they can follow along. It seems like they will only want you.

With Clover & Mountain this person could be pretty earthy and practical along with all of their natural luck, they are very clever at getting over or through issues that seem insurmountable, nothing seems to get them down or knock them out for too long, they’re a “winner” type of personality. Accomplishment reinforces that message, they could have several. Secrets feels more like past things they don’t want to talk about, not necessarily secrets *from* you. They’re just not interested in past stuff, they let it go so you should too, to them. Rose 🌹 on Recycle is them having made mistakes, broken hearts, losing and winning and learning their lessons. Starfish ⭐️ shows regeneration on a situation or relationship gone sour, it will get better. GREEN dominates the reading visually, it’s a color of grounding & practicality, and there are many plants being shown which all show growth. They’ve made mistakes, they’re learning or have learned, and will be ready for you when the right time comes.

Pile 3: Classic 🤓

Page of Cups - 8 Cups - 8 Swords

Regarding: Justice

Dreaming Way: Fish & Mountain

Oracles: Timing, Reflection, Time

Possible Signs: Virgo, Cancer & Pisces likely, Leo & Capricorn possibly

Zodiac Message:

Jupiter - Cancer - 9th House

- Learn or teach your feelings as if it or they came from God.

- Be positive about attitudes from the past about the philosophies and laws involved.

- Grow and expand, use your intuition and do it in a big way.

Charms:

Dead Tree 🍂 on Demon Red Rainbow

Peace ☮️ on Justice

Stallion 🐎 on Mountain

Peridot 💚 on The High Priestess

Color Card: Demon Red Rainbow 👹

“The greatest adversary is the one living inside of me.”

If the Demon Red Rainbow speaks to you, it is an indication that you are starting to (or will) forge ahead on the path you have chosen. You are correct in thinking that this path is important. Demon Red Rainbow denotes miraculous changes which lay ahead but not without your dogged determination. If you are facing a hill that appears insurmountable, this card reminds us that most true adversaries are the ones inside of us. Life always turns for the better when we face our demons.

You are not to abandon your focus no matter what comes up. The direct route may be the best way to the other side of your fear. There is a crucial lesson here for us all. Know that Spirit always provides an ally when we face the Demon Red Rainbow. It will be clear to you who they are. You need not face anything alone. Spirit has chosen a very powerful lesson for you so that you may teach others what you have learned. A gift of this kind is never given without our ability to use it.

I was afraid of this one coming out, and with the classic image too ha, surprise! We follow no preconceived stereotype here, this person is the mess, at least out of the three done so far. And any of you dealing with them are a saint. Or maybe a Cancer, that’s the only sign that might put up with it 🤦‍♀️ No offense, it’s saintly in its’ sacrifice. For some of you, this person is locked up, in jail, for who knows how long? You might. For others, this person is a train wreck you’ve had to separate yourself from. Demon Red Rainbow comes out to show they are their own worst enemy, and the “dead” tree charm shows that so long as they’re standing in their own way, there can’t and won’t be any growth in this person. Mountain and Horse shows them as a wild personality, one that can’t be tamed or restrained, and they create their own Mountains, dig their own holes, which they later fall into and need help escaping. Presumably, from you. Similarly, the Fish next to this Mountain shows an addictive personality or someone who doesn’t know when to stop, they’re excessive with everything they do, however that applies to them.

The thing that will change this person, eventually, is probably spiritual in nature, but I don’t think you’ll have anything to do with this. And while this IS your soulmate, that’s what this reading is, this is the kind of personality that myself and literally any other tarot reader would tell you to just keep moving away from. There are other soulmates. Your personality and vibe is heavily that of a “fixer”, and these signs could even be your signs more than theirs. It honestly feels like a reading that is more “I see you & you are heard” but this person is a lot to deal with…

You cannot miss anything that is for you. Right now you are not speaking to that person and Justice is here showing it’s the right thing. They may have asked you to wait for them, or you’ve done this to them, and there is no energy of that happening. There is no progress, no movement, it’s very difficult and may last a very long time. Again for someone there’s an energy of actual prison time being done and if that’s the case, you’re not expected to wait. They did the crime, they serve the time, go live your life 🙏 ALL of their oracles are about time. And more time, and more time. The longer the two of you spend apart, the more they have to look at themselves in the mirror, reflect, and realize where they went wrong, how they need to change, all of the could’ve, should’ve, and would’ve energies that you need them to see.

They’re conflicted because there’s no communication. You’re conflicted over this same reason. Neither of you wants to be alone, but neither of you can grow how you need to without this separation. There is definitely a pull here, but the love is only a Page, it’s not the whole thing that you deserve. In time, they will heal, and change, and calm down. Mature. Grow up. In time they may be perfect for you, and this could definitely be a Twin Flame 🔥 sort of connection for those waiting around on the runner to stop running. Peace ☮️ on Justice is “someday”. 5 Wands with Justice is right now. When it comes to Twins I’m a fan of saying don’t wait, they’re a waste of time. It’s a cute dream, and a big maybe, but you’ve only got one life, many possible soulmates, and there’s always the chance of meeting someone brand new ❤️ As much as this person matches your heart & energy, only you match theirs too, it’s their loss. If you’ve picked another pile, please pay close attention to that one as well, from this point forward I’m calling this the “stagnant Twin pile”. Whoever you had in mind, whoever you know fits the bill. It’s a maybe, someday, if you still want it. IF. Yes they will change. With time. Time. Time. More time. Good grief. Lot of time. But so will you. How it stands right now, it’s like loving a wolf that means to bite your face off. You have to worry about you 💯 I hate that there’s a dud for an option, but some must need to see it, or it wouldn’t have come out.

Pile 4: Doorway 🚪

The High Priestess - Page of Wands - 9 Cups

Regarding: 4 Swords

Dreaming Way: Dog, Clouds, Snake

Oracles: Flash, Wish Granted, Truth

Possible Signs: Leo 💯 Sagittarius, Libra, Capricorn, possibly Pisces with 9 Cups and all of this moon energy, the dreamy vibe is strong

Zodiac Message:

Jupiter - Leo - 5th House

- Learn or teach leadership with the trust of a child.

- Be positive about the creativeness of fun, romance, and making art.

- Grow and expand, do what you want to, and do it dramatically.

Charms:

Fractal Moon 🌙 on Electric Blue Moon

Angel 😇 on Page of Wands

Leaf 🍁 on Truth

Pearl of Wisdom 🦪 on Ace of Swords

Sailboat ⛵️ on 6 Swords

Color Card: Electric Blue Moon 🌚:

“If I don’t take care of it, it’ll never happen.”

It is not time to force an issue. If something feels important to you, you may be jumping the gun. If you are impatient, you may block something wonderful from coming to you. Now is not the time for a rushed decision, even if you think you’ve given something “plenty” of time, give it more. You have made your needs known to Spirit, now leave it alone. If you try to force a situation, you may bind yourself to something you could come to know as a hinderance. Allow right action to happen in its own time.

Though Leo is the most obvious here, even with the oracles, it’s definitely muddied with water energy. Both 💯 The Moon is as magnified as The Sun. Actually more so, The Sun is reversed. This could be literally Leo with heavy 8th/12th House placements, especially The Sun, one that doesn’t “shine” so brightly because they’re very daydreamy and kind of lost in another plane, or very spiritual. Or have heavy watery placements. It may not be Leo at all and that sign is being shown as The Sun, this is this person’s identity & who they are. Leo shows up with the 5th House, it’s natural ruling house, showing this person as FUN, artistic, very creative, working with children possibly, regardless of sign. They’re not dumb, nor misguided, and they don’t need someone looking down on them. Who they’re meant to be IS a dreamer, a teacher, a spiritualist, possibly an artist, someone in the more creative fields. With Dog, Clouds, and Snake in that order, who they are is a very loyal, giving, loving, friend, a ride or die kind of person, they don’t see the dangers in other people, the “snakes”, and in this way their head is in the clouds. That’s where the Pisces energy is stemming from strongly, whether they actually have that or not, they are an idealist above anything else, but they’re not lost to reality either and with Ace of Swords are actually quite intelligent. Just not suspicious? They’ll protect someone else before themselves 💯 And because of that, are often taken advantage of, and it does not and will not change them.

This person has big dreams they don’t act on, and amazing abilities of manifestation that they don’t use. Not yet. They have many options and they know it, but they’re more of an indecisive type and aren’t in any rush with Temperance. This is a “create the vision in your head” sort of person, and while Page & Knight of Wands are both here, they do take action, it’s not until their vision is complete. Definitely an artist/creative mentality. With 4 Swords & The High Priestess, either you don’t yet know this person or you do but you don’t really talk to them. With 5th House being highlighted and a lot of this younger energy, 9 Cups, it’s possible this is a single parent or someone that has children already. Or that’s their job, maybe something they definitely want. 10 Pentacles being reversed here shows they are not a conservative sort of person, they don’t want traditional…anything. Marriage. Jobs. Life. It’s not their cup of tea 🍵 They could have already been there done that, and are divorced, or come from divorced parents that make them not interested.

That doesn’t mean they’re opposed to love, they’re just not someone that’s locked in a box and expected to stay there, they like to move around and explore their endless options. Again, a dreamer. They’re very excitable, probably love to travel, and their dreams are more important to them than any “relationship” though that isn’t to be mean at all, I get no “mean” vibes from this person, they would probably encourage everyone to do the same. You want to go to Europe? Go! They have an encouraging & supportive energy, a hype person, a loyal friend 💖 The only thing that holds them back is a lack of confidence, and putting in the work necessary to achieve whatever their dream is. I don’t get they’re afraid of work or don’t work, I think their dreams change before they get there, and they switch tracks a lot. Or talk themselves out of things. It could be other people around them put them down or talk them out of things too, which is difficult for a loyal person like this, they may be losing opportunities or sitting on them due to negative people with no creative vision telling them they “can’t” when they absolutely can. The Boat on 6 Swords can show travel as part of their dreams or this may be how you know/meet them, they may travel or move unexpectedly, more than once even with 2 Pentacles, they don’t tend to stay put, and again 10 Pentacles is rev, they’re not the type to even want to. There’s always more to see & do.

The Fractal Moon on Electric Blue Moon shows something is in motion where their dreams are concerned, maybe meeting you is part of that, but there are a lot of options and details involved in what they’re doing, many layers, as also shown by 7 Cups. They’re waiting for something, patiently. Leaf on Truth and Pearl of Wisdom on Ace of Swords are very similar, they can dream a dream and get lost in the practicalities or reality of taking action, that may be where they’re stuck right now, but both of these charms are encouraging, they’re getting somewhere with what they’re doing. Growing & learning 💯 Flash and Wish Granted are also very encouraging, they will be inspired or get their answers, and though things may seem like they take TIME, once it’s moving it’s like lightning. Stop. Stop. Wait. BANG, and they’re there, they’ve done it, and no one was even paying attention. That’s a Uranian/Aquarian quality which is here lightly, which would support a Leo rising, or Uranus may be a strong placement, or conjunct something strong in your own chart. They will surprise you.

Pile 5: Hands 🙌🏽

5 Cups - The Emperor - The Empress

Regarding: The Hierophant

Dreaming Way: Coffin, Bear, Scythe

Oracles: Innovation, Obstacles, Details

Possible Signs: Aries & Scorpio 💯 Leo, Libra, Virgo, Taurus & Pisces

Zodiac Message:

Mercury - Aries - 10th House

- The awareness of energies to meet the challenges of your destiny.

- Many thoughts about or from your desires regarding where you’re going.

- Many words resulting from the honesty and strengths of your career.

Charms:

Angel 😇 on Bahana Beige

Black Cross ✝️ on The Hierophant

Sword 🗡 The Emperor

Virgo ♍️ on The Empress

Starfish ⭐️ on 10th House

White Heart 🤍 on Knight of Cups

Axe 🪓 on The Hermit

Color Card: Bahana Beige 🎨

“I quietly listen, allowing you to color your own palate.”

If you are drawn to Bahana Beige, it is time to take an impartial look at your situation and drop the excuses. Your answers will come when you remain still. Take no action at this time. The action of Bahana Beige is to listen. Now is the time to consider the other side, because there may be some valuable insights in another point of view. This technique can help produce great strides in communication in your relationships. When we are fixed on a position (or opinion), we are not in the neutral space of Bahana Beige.

This is an opportunity to see who you are in a relationship. Ask yourself, “How does my present attitude or position serve me?” When you answer this question, you will begin to gain more insight into choosing what is for the highest good in any situation. Another way to position a question is in thinking from the other person’s point of view. Is there another way to see this situation? What do you see now?

This is a very difficult personality, but definitely worthwhile. They are very serious, intense even, in their seriousness, and STUBBORN. This by far is the broadest spectrum of signs and personalities, but Mars dominates, they are clearly the hardest workers, the strictly disciplined, the action takers 💯 This is a person who is either divorced when you meet them, married but on their way to divorce, or they’ve had pain in their life due to parental figures, possible divorce in that sense as well. The Emperor is highlighted in their own personality, and as someone demanding, dominating & commanding that’s *over* them in some way and has since been cut off. Probably a father figure. For some this is a job, not parents, and a boss that’s unfairly and suddenly cut them off or out. This person knows struggle and the need to stand up to some dominating person, whether at home or in career, and in some sense they also wear a mask of intimidating & dominating traits. A job is being highlighted as having some level of regeneration to it, with Starfish ⭐️ on 10th House, they could be shifting careers or someone that does this more than once, some of you could meet them at work, but career has been a struggle in its own way no matter what these Emperor/Empress energies are otherwise. Previous failures have left a bitter taste in their mouth.

But that is not who they are inside. They are disappointed by the hand life has dealt them, and they feel a sense of competition everywhere they go, again heavy Mars energy here. They’ve lost a few of those “competitions” and may have a large ego that kinda kicks them in the butt if they’re not careful. They tend to shift blame outward and skirt any accountability, even within reason. The most difficult thing about this person is the negativity in their perception. They do not compromise. Their way or the highway. Black Cross on The Hierophant, they’re probably an atheist, and could have very negative views on any number of things. Certain companies, marriage as a whole, spirituality, specific ways of doing things that are not in line with *their* beliefs…even if that is simply “how to cut an onion”, and it’s wrong but good luck telling them that. They will willingly DIE on a pretty stupid hill, even if they’re wrong. Fixed energy 💯 A lot of needless arguments accompany this person and it just depends on your own personality & story what those are. Part of them genuinely likes to fight. Good luck with that 😆🤦‍♀️

Underneath this person’s “tough” exterior is a big emotional baby, to put it bluntly. Not very “mature”, with ick emotions that accompany very negative beliefs and perceptions, they tend to overdramatize and their emotions spill out like a flood when they’re upset. But, as anger, not sadness. Again…Mars. This can really be any sign with heavy Mars energy tbh, that’s what I’m getting here. The positive side to that is when they’re sad, happy, angry, upset, they can’t hide it so there’s no question as to where others stand with them. 100% not a fake person, they don’t just slap on a smile because someone says so or expects one, no.

They’ve lost many people in their lives and are pretty closed off and Hermit-like in nature. They’ve experienced disappointments in all areas of life, work, love, family, friends, you name it & they’ve probably experienced it. Their perceptions of things are so negative because of this, and that’s something perhaps you will help to change. Bahana Beige shows Spirit working in their favor the most when they try to remain impartial. It’s like not even expecting a total change, just be open, that’s all that’s asked of them & they’re blessed. They get way too caught up in obstacles and details, their negative thinking tends to mess up their plans, not anything being actually “against them”. They envision roadblocks where there are none, and have very little if any faith. There is a lot of past pain in this person, and they’re also very nostalgic about happy times, friends, possibly ex lovers, childhood memories, they may romanticize how things were vs seeing the reality of the situations or how things have changed, maybe they just miss the old days in some way. It’s a process, but they may talk about these things at random, and those things are often on their mind. At heart, this person is deeply romantic and would like the fairy tale to exist how it should, it just hasn’t yet and they’re bitter. Their intentions are noble and pure, and they’ve got a heart of gold for the right person. Healing is a top priority for them. Or it needs to be.

Deep down, this person wants marriage, children, the perfect picture of how things “should be”, even down to the 1950’s style cards I’m using for this pile, that matches up perfectly. They see a picket fence and wonder why they don’t have the right person to fit this image. I don’t get a sense of illusions too much though, they just want their soulmate, but may be a bit of a perfectionist about ideals, they could need a dose of realism in that sense. It’s not 1950 so…within reason. For some, they may be very difficult to see as long term because they assume everything will end up like the past, so they push it away, and you’ll have to fight back in that sense, because you’re different. Once they find that right person for them, they’re very conservative, truthful, loving, romantic even, this is someone that expects to be courted or will court you “the right way”, very passionate and eager for love, they aren’t a game player and if/when they do love you this is one that lasts forever 🙏

Pile 6: Maze

6 Wands - Knight of Pentacles - 4 Wands

Regarding: Ace of Cups

Dreaming Way: Fox & Tree

Oracles: Intuition, Distractions, Success

Possible Signs: Aries, Gemini & Pisces, possible Taurus with Venus, 2nd House & Hierophant, but I’m definitely getting its more the behavior than actual signs with this one

Zodiac Message:

Venus - Aries - 2nd House

- Cherish your willpower patiently.

- Enjoy what you think you know about what you want.

- Charm, art, and beauty are the way to do it your own way and get what you need.

Charms:

Red Moon 🌙& Bad & Boujee 😈 on Gold Coins

Child 👦🏻 on 10 Cups

Black Clover 🍀 on Distractions

Rose 🌹 on 6 Wands

Bunny 🐰 on 4 Wands

Bicycle 🚲 on Aries

Dolphins 🐬 on 6 Swords

Telephone ☎️ on Page of Wands

Color Card: Gold Coins 💰

“I only seek to give you what you ask for.”

Gold Coins gently asks you to look at your relationship with money. Money doesn’t care where it goes. It naturally goes toward appreciation and gratitude. What we do with our own abundance makes the difference. Are you blaming something on money? Are you running from it? Be wary of using your financial situation as an excuse to avoid doing something you love to do. Are you questioning a relationship or career that is hitting a rocky time? It may be time to look for the good in it. Remember there are two sides to every coin. What you desire may currently be manifesting. Great riches are waiting for you to use them. You can ask the universe for riches or poverty, the universe doesn’t care, only you can change your inner experience. “Things” only hold value when we think they do. If there were no money, it didn’t exist, what else would you do? What else would you focus on?

Two things are possible with this person. One, they may be already married or otherwise involved when you meet them. Possibly have children. Two, if they’re not, then they definitely want a marriage & children. This is almost a wolf in sheep’s clothing, especially with Fox here, and it’s not so much in a mean, conniving sort of way, unless they had a whole other family before you…possible. They may play this role to someone else, for you. But for most it’s in a financial way. They are very romantic, clever, charming, madly in love with sweeping someone off of their feet, and they do put in a lot of effort to keep their relationships happy, passionate, and stable. But when it comes to money, this person is almost dangerous in how reckless they can be. Venus is in detriment in Aries, and being 2nd House is telling as well. It’s not a soft & loving kind of placement, it’s notorious for independence and selfishness, in this case when it comes to personal finances and the things they own. Like a home, which is highlighted with 4 Wands here.

Gold Coins highlights the relationship with money, this is a major downfall to this person. Red Moon and the Bad & Boujee bottle, along with the Black Clover 🍀 on Distractions all show stupid impulses, “standards”, possible major issues with money. This could be a gambling problem, definitely a spending problem whether it’s shoes, cars, hair products, I don’t know the what except that it’s excessive and can cause major problems in their life. Probably already has. Fox with Tree can show them being financially bamboozled by a clever salesman type, or they could be that to YOU, putting their health at risk even, or things like insurance, 401k, long term stability that they don’t consider due to the need for convenience, impatience, or satisfaction right NOW. It is only money they are this way with. That I can see. Having Fox here, they will not be open and up front about these issues but will skirt them at every opportunity. Taking accountability means change, which they don’t intend to do.

Knight of Pentacles does show them to be a hardworking person. Not rich, not poor, they earn everything they have. They could be a sucker for a quick scheme, and if that’s the case it’s literally never worked out for them, so idk what the temptation even is there. For a very slight few, it’s possible the ex was this way and took them for everything they had, or they lost everything in a separation. If so, even kids. There’s a possibility of their children living far away from them as well and only really communicating by telephone. They’re the type to not pay child support, cash under the table, scheme scheme scheme. Only take that if it resonates, it’s for those leaving a family, and for that story that’s exactly what they’ll do…but you get the repercussions of all that. If you do not yet know this person, they’re definitely not the type to initiate, you’ll have to show interest, Phone on Page of Wands shows them waiting not initiating, they’re not the type for it. Or the connection starts as messages, not in person.

If not a family then this person may have once lived or traveled somewhere by the sea, with Dolphins on 6 Swords, and they keep in contacts with the friends from wherever they once were, or maybe go back and visit every so often. Could be where the money goes, in part. Distractions has the Black Clover on it and feels more like destructive hobbies that cost a lot of money, keeps them from getting ahead, and blocks success that’s available for them and ready for the taking. If you two have children together, they are a very loving parent. While present. If they have kids far away, they just don’t have them and can’t see a way out of that situation. This is a person that has overcome many difficulties and continues growing, they’re not forever stuck, but they do take a very long time. Or their job is one that isn’t the greatest, but it’s reliable, and saving up for something significant takes a very long time, even longer because there’s always some nonsense or excuse as to why money is missing. They’re responsible with your heart, not so much your wallet. There is a part of them that comes out as a Fox, they manipulate when they feel there is no other way…and they are selfish when it comes to doing what they want and how…just be mindful of that 🙏

I don’t get the best or worst vibes from this person, they just need someone that’s on top of everything to flat out be like “no” when it’s necessary, them leading the troops probably isn’t the wisest idea. But they are supportive, very loving, loyal in love at least so far as I can tell. Money is the issue. Some of them just come with money issues, child support, debt, bad credit, things like that. And they have the potential for success, plenty of money, they just also have the potential to blow it all in one day too. They like fancy things, and love to spend spend spend. It’s part of the deal with them. They could have a gifts love language. You must be the sort of person that’s on top of things to attract someone like this. Or you’ll need to be, they’re a clever one.

Pile 7: New Life 🌱

Page of Cups - The Star - 9 Wands rev & 8 Wands

Regarding: Knight of Cups

Dreaming Way: Book, Tree, Mountain

Oracles: Nurture, Collaboration, Dream

Possible Signs: Pisces, Taurus, Virgo, Sagittarius & Aquarius, possibly Scorpio with Death & Topaz

Zodiac Message:

Uranus - Taurus - 7th House

- An unusual example of resources to maintain balance.

- A different way of looking at the practicality of cooperation.

- An unexpected change resulting from the productivity of your partner.

Charms:

Taurus ♉️ on Topaz

Dancer 💃 on Collaboration

Moulin Rouge 💋 and Bad & Boujee 😈 on Knight of Wands

Cupid 💘 on Temperance

Color Card: Topaz 💛

“If I seek peace, I must embrace my fears.”

Topaz speaks: “To be enlightened is to realize that to gain peace, fear in the heart must be faced.” If Topaz has come to you, he is telling you that it is time to stop talking about what you intend on doing. You must just do it. Things happen for us when we take action, which is the only way to break through what is holding us back. The change that is called for here is surrender, which is an action in itself. No great tasks were ever achieved easily. Remember we do a lot to avoid what we feel will hurt us; you must understand that the pain will recede if you face your fears, allowing you to walk through to the other side. Topaz whispers “Pray for guidance and you will be assisted.” Do not despair, for if Topaz has come to you, relief awaits. By facing your fears, peace and enlightenment will be your reward. That is the gift. All you need to do is ask.

This is a very loving person, romantic, soft, dreamy, emotional, and very partnership oriented, they could be the sort of person that has only ever worked within partnerships, whether that’s love, friendships, family, they’re a “group-minded” and close-knit kind of person with 7th House highlighted. They could have a dominant 7th, possibly with the Sun or Moon there. Taurus also is a very domestic and family oriented sign, whether it actually applies to their chart or not, they are your family person. Nurture shows a picture of a Native woman with a baby on her back, Collaboration shows a pair of people, 10 Cups and 10 Pentacles are here showing groups of very close knit people make them happiest. The group is everything, family is everything, and they are a nurturing & giving type of personality, regardless of gender. Possibly a parent already, if so it’s a defining factor in who they are, or that’s definitely something they want later on.

This person has been through some difficult times in regards to some level of toxicity whether at work or in their family. Could be both. Moulin Rouge and Bad & Boujee show those being along a sexual or provocative nature, there’s been Death & major transformations in themselves regarding this, and it could be any number of things, some very traumatizing. Hugs to them. They may not have been an angel at one time, either playing the field, working in toxic/sensual types of conditions, possible addictions, but have learned and sacrificed for the family, children, there is an energy of sacrifice here which would match all of the Pisces energy coming through, whether it literally applies to signs or not. This may be someone else entirely in their environment or past that had to go. Death is attached to all of these things, it’s in the past.

This person has a lot of healing to do, but they’re happy to do it, a more optimistic and happy personality for sure even with the struggles they’ve been through. They are mature in their energy with Temperance, and The Sun outshines any Moon confusion they may have once had, this is someone aware of their manifestations, where they’ve been, what they want, and where they’re going. All with a very happy energy with this Sun, and a romantic & dreamy outlook on life in general with Knight of Cups. Cupid on Temperance shows them as mature, patient, and very accepting or tolerant of the differences in people, they don’t seem to mind yours if you don’t mind theirs. A very peaceful energy, and not one to rush into things, which if Taurus applies, they rush for no one ever 😆

Taurus being on Topaz could show a person with both Taurus and Scorpio qualities, or possible oppositions like this in their chart that equal a balance in this person’s personality. They’re more patient, fluid, go with the flow, and less stubborn. They may have been hurt in the past, love wise, and you could surprise them because they weren’t looking when you found them, or they didn’t know what they wanted until they found you. It’s a very sweet energy with them.

With Book, Tree, and Mountain, they could be a book worm or an avid learner of all of the things, and what’s highlighted is health obstacles they may have had to face, however that may apply. Self help books, meditations, yoga, anger management or any number of peaceful mind/body tactics may be something they’re into. Tree also pertains to the environment, this could be a very environmentally conscious person, a vegan or vegetarian, a compost creating gardener type, something along those lines. Mountain describes obstacles they’ve faced or are currently dealing with, some may have a long term illness of some kind or some sort of routine to deal with a particular ailment of theirs, like physical therapy, or holistic medicine for example. That won’t apply everywhere, or in any specific way for the collective, just take it how it resonates for you.

Dancer 💃 is on Collaboration, that could be some way you know them, they like to dance or you do this together, maybe take classes, or they have. It’s highlighted with their creativity in a very fun way, and this person seems most focused on the fun of situations, especially in groups of people. The more the merrier!

#pick a card #PAC #soulmate #pick a pile #your true soulmate #zodiac sign #astrology #astroblr #march 2023

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