#horrible no good college why did i fucking move

[spacegyaru]

cw: shidou ryusei x afab! reader. all characters are aged 21+ (you and shidou are already 25 atp). this is the second part of this! do not read it unless you have read the previous part! 💗🤭

~ there is a bit of angst here! also, i really tried to keep shidou and character and read loads of analysis for this huhu so good luck to me!! i hope you guys would like it as much as you loved the first part! + reader is a nurse and toxic shidou! 😌 i tried to keep it realistic guys, we all known it's not going to be all rainbow and skittles with shidou in it.

word count: 2k+

fast forward to five years later. five fucking years. you don't know how you made it that far, but somehow, you managed to get yourself out of that hellhole.

well, after finding out that you were pregnant, your initial reaction was to tell your parents about it. you were young and they still paid for your college fees that time, so you know that they have the right to at least hear from you.

as you expected, your parents did not have the best reactions. your dad scolded you— even slapped you, and your mom called you a slut, then they started fighting and blaming each other on whose fault is this.

suddenly, the fact that you're pregnant is no longer about you and the baby, but it's about blaming who was the worse parent between the both of them. your dad blamed your mom for caring too much about her appearance and not paying attention to you, while your mom blamed your dad for not protecting you enough and being around. in actuality, both are horrible.

you swore you'll never want your kid to grow up in this kind of hell you were raised in. that's why you felt so much joy when your parents agreed to help you but they asked you to move out to your grandparents’ house in a far away rural area so people wouldn't see you ‘blowing up like a balloon’ (as what your mom said) and ‘bringing shame to the family’.

luckily, compared to your parents, your grandparents are good people. they comforted you and made sure that you're well-fed during your pregnancy.

you ended up giving birth to a little girl, which you named miyu. she was born with your hair color, pink orbs, and tanned skin. her nose and eye shape weren't yours. you didn't even want to think about who does it remind you of.

it wasn't easy to have her either. miyu was a handful baby and post-partum depression did not sit well with you. but luckily, your grandmother is around.

shortly after that, you decided to go back to college while working part-time. all while miyu was growing. if you didn't have your grandparents, you surely wouldn't be able to survive. they were a huge help to your studies, and in taking care of miyu.

after your studies, you went back to the city to look for a better job as a registered nurse around tokyo. you thanked your grandparents and took your daughter with you.

about shidou… well, you've seen him on TV and he's doing well, winning lots of football games, and even having some dating rumours. you hated every inch of him. you hated how he act all smug and cocky on TV. you hated how he never even tried to contact you after that night. you hated how he did well while you struggled to survive.

the only comfort that you had was miyu's smile. she is a very cheerful child. she's very friendly towards people and she's a social butterfly. the first time you took her to the nursery, she became friends with everyone.

anyway, you're working as a registered nurse around tokyo's biggest hospital. luckily, miyu's preschool is nearby. but with no one to watch over, you would fetch her during your free time and bring her back to your workplace.

“y/n, doctor nishimura needs your assistance in his office in third floor.” your co-worker said and you rushed going there.

when you arrived, you were asked to call the patients’ name in the waiting area and assist in medical check-ups, like taking their height, weight, blood pressure, and etc. it was all good. you were doing just fine. until you saw who the last patient is.

“sh-shidou r-ryusei…” there was a light stutter in your voice as you turned pale, an expression of shock written on your face. it seemed that he's here for some athlete medical checkup or whatever it's called.

the moment shidou saw you, he did not recognize you at first. but seeing how awkward you were while taking his blood pressure, he finally recognized who you are.

“wait, aren't you y/n?” shidou asked then started talking to you like a casual friend who's trying to catch up. you didn't respond well. he told you that he'll be in a 3-month long vacation after winning a huge match in france.

when you were left alone with him as you were asked to assist him althroughout, like going to the cashier and settling payment, (since the doctor said that other patients might harass him since he's famous), he fucking dropped the bomb that made you erupt.

“if you're interested, we could hang out together while i'm in tokyo. like the old times.” he said in a smug voice, obviously hinting to something sexual.

you stopped while walking, looking down. shidou, who only continued, wondered as you stayed that way for seconds. shidou looked at you curiously. he slowly approached you, but your hand seemed to have another plans, giving him a slap on the cheek.

shidou looked at you shocked for seconds while holding his cheek, then his face changed into smirk before he told you “come on, you can't be mad over something that happened years ago, right? what happened to the good girl y/n?” he gave you a menacing look.

but before you could say anything, a small high-pitched voice reached out from your behind. “mommy, i'm hungry!”

seeing your daughter, you left shidou and approached your daughter, carrying her in your arms, telling her how you'd get her some cookies from the pantry.

as your carried miyu in your arms while walking away, shidou could not help it but to stare back at the pink orbs of the little girl which sparked curiosity. that, combined with the little girl's tanned skin and nose— shidou already fucking knew who that little girl is.

after that day, shidou would visit you during working hours. he would go there, trying to ask you to hangout with him, with that permanent smug look that you hated the most.

he did this for the whole afternoon. luckily, today, you were able to hire a babysitter for miyu because you expected to work overtime. you doubt he would leave you alone, not giving you some time to fetch her.

even after your shift, shidou was still there. you got fed up and asked him why the hell is he bothering you during work hours, even telling him to get lost.

but shidou still seemed to be unfazed by you freaking out. instead of saying anything, he just said “awww, don't you want me to get to know your little girl too? are you gonna hog her all by yourself?”

that's when you lost it. you dragged him in the hospital's parking lot and asked him what he truly wants.

shidou asks you to enter his car so you guys could ‘talk more’. thinking that he's just scared of the paparazzis, you agreed to talk with him inside his car with tinted glasses.

when you both sat on the front seats, he waited for you to speak first and you broke the silence.

you told him that you found out that you were pregnant after that night and you didn't get to tell him because he blocked you everywhere on social media. you're mad because he promised that he's going to be with you after but he left without saying anything.

shidou basically just gaslit you and told you that you never tried hard enough like contacting him thru his emails. he even had the guts to victimize himself and say that he felt hurt you never told him.

“just shows how my little y/n won't trust me enough to look after our poor little baby and that makes me sad.”

you rolled your eyes and attempted to get off the car, when shidou held your hand, trying to stop you. you decided to stop and take one last look at him. he holds your hand tighter, but not in a hurting way.

“oh hell nah, y/n. don't do this to me, i'm a changed man, ya know?”

you told shidou that if he's planning to ghost you again, he's never gonna get to know miyu. he is not going to be her first heartbreak. you made it clear to him.

shidou was like, “i know i didn't keep my promise to you, but i'm not a monster to do the same thing to her.”

you still didn't believe him, until he told you that he wants to show how serious he is. “give me your bank account number” but you didn't want to give it to him because of your pride.

but then he started saying “you sure you don't want my help? you were eating a one-dollar ramen during lunchtime. how can you even give what's best if you can't even give yourself anything?”and he said it in a taunting voice. oh boi, all these years and he's still so good at provoking people.

so you ended up giving your bank account details. you received a notification on your phone saying that you just received 7 million yen— about 50k dollars. you looked at him in disbelief.

“also, don't let her wear those ugly floral dresses. buy her something else.”

you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’ altho you didn't really wanna say that but you know you needed to.

both of you agreed on a co-parenting situation. for visits, he would visit your daughter in your apartment every weekend. you wanted those instead of public because paparazzis may spot your daughter. she doesn't deserve that kind of toxicity yet.

first time visiting your apartment, shidou basically roasted your house and bought you a whole apartment just two floors way from his own apartment. “and you said you didn't need my help? i don't think my baby should even live in this place.” you moved in that place a month after he first met miyu.

the first time they met each other… you hate to admit it, but they got along really well. both of them weren't too emotional about it. it was just like two best friends meeting each other and having a lighthearted conversation. you observed miyu and it seems that she's at ease around shidou.

“miyu, that's your dad.” oh boi she ran so fast in his arms and hugged him. luckily, he caught her. since then, the both of them have been talking. miyu liked calling shidou his ‘daddy’. and honestly, shidou was proud of it.

shidou was the fun dad. you'll say ‘no ice cream’ and he's gonna bring your daughter ice cream while you're not around. when you say that she shouldn't eat sweets after brushing her teeth, shidou would just tell her to have some then she can brush her teeth after. so in no time, miyu became a ‘daddy's girl’ while you were the ‘no-fun and strict’ mom (as said by shidou when miyu's not around).

the whole co-parenting setup was okay. but shidou would make advances towards you whenever miyu is not looking. he would flirt with you, saying how your genes looked great when mixed together and sometimes, he would bring up that miyu needs a playmate. you would only roll your eyes at him, saying that you'd rather die than to repeat the same mistake.

it was all peaceful. you were starting to put your trust in him— until you saw a selfie of shidou and miyu all over the news and headlines. it seemed that he posted her on his insta, without your consent.

you did not like that one bit. both of you told each other that if he wants to something like this, he needs to talk to you first. again, shidou forgot to keep up with his word.

with an angry tone, you immediately called shidou and asked to talk to him in private. he asked you to come over to his apartment— and you were hesitant at first, but you agreed. you decided to drop off miyu at the local daycare center, just so the both of you could talk it out.

[numberonepartyboy]

normal about college

[luvyeni]

GUYS MY AGE ,, 이민호

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ lee know x fem!reader wc. 6.2k+

genre. neighbors!au , smut

𓄷 includes ... cheating, unprotected sex, oral ( m. receiving ), literally the mother isn't the only sane person im sorry THIS IS PURE FICTION

「 authors note 𖹭 」 here it is the fic , i hope you like it 😅

❪ masterlist! ❫

guys your age never really appealed to you— you liked older men— blame it on your daddy issue, you didn't care; something about an older man just made your heart go crazy— and your panties wet.

“you need to find something to do this summer while you're home.” your mother said, you had made your return home from college for the summer, ready to soak up the sun by your pool in the backyard. “how about getting a job, the couple next door is looking for a babysitter for their three kids while they work.”

your mom watched your face scrunch up in disgust. “why would I want to babysit their sticky children?” you scoffed, picking at your freshly painted nails. “how do you plan on making money then?” you sighed, of course you already planned for this. “Mom, don't worry, I've got it all covered.” you smiled reassuringly; and you weren't lying, you did— but could you really tell your mother you planned on getting money from the many older men you managed to seduce during your time at college. “you better, don't just rot in your room all summer.”

“what if i go help the old lady across the street?” you asked standing up to put your dish in the sink. “Will that ease your worries, mother?” of course you didn't want to do it, but it would make your mother happy. “oh i didn't tell you?” she said, you shook your head, telling her to continue. “her children moved her to a nursing home.” you felt your lip curl up into a smirk. “good she was a bitch.” you said, the grumpy old lady could never stay out of your business. “I really would've hated doing that.”

“yeah she was wasn't she?” she chuckled. “Anyways, the couple who moved in there have only been here for about a month; I see the lady when I'm on my way to work.” she said. “The husband I'm pretty sure stays at home and work— you should introduce yourself, let them know who you are.” you really didn't want to; but the look in your mother's eyes, you could tell she wasn't asking you. “Fine, I'll do it later, happy?” your mother turned the water off, kissing your head. “ecstatic, im gonna get ready for work.”

“what are you doing?” jisung spoke through the phone; your bestest friend in the whole world— and your biggest enemy too. “well since you decided to flee the fucking country this summer; leaving me here.” you scoffed. “I'm stuck here rotting in my home.” you saw him smile; you scoffed before he spoke up. “Sorry, it was a last minute trip with felix.” Felix was his boyfriend; his very rich boyfriend. “yeah well while you're being wined and dined throughout europe, i’m stuck here.” you laid flat on your stomach, legs in the air.

“Remember when you left me in the dorms during spring break?” he asked. “And that business man took you to hawaii? consider this as pay back.” you rolled your eyes. “fuck you, that trip was horrible anyway, all he did was work and complain about how much he hated his hate wife— we had sex once the entire trip.” you scoffed. “You got a Gucci bag out of it though.” you hummed; he was right. “best thing to come out of it.”

“oh yeah.” you were now sitting up. “Remember the old lady across the street from me?” you asked. “yeah she was a bitch.” you nodded. “Her kids finally did everyone a favor and put her in a home.” he clapped. “good riddance, so did anyone move in that house?” you hummed. “yeah a married couple, mom wants me to introduce myself, let them know i'll be here for the summer.”

“yeah it would be confusing to see a girl in a skimpy ass bathing suit sunbathing in her front yard.” you shrugged; the sun just hit better in the front of your house. “Keep her husband on a leash, like the rest of the house wives on your street do when they see you coming, I wouldn't be too surprised if they already got to her.” you laughed, you never really cared what those women thought about you; you never really cared about their husbands, it was more so the other way around. “I really don't care about those housewives, their problem is their husbands and their wandering eyes, not me.” You defended.

“I should go introduce myself before my mom gets home.” you said. “Yeah, I have to go, Felix wants to go for food; call you later?” you nodded. “Yeah, if you aren't getting your back blown out.” his face turned red. “He's in the room.” he gritted through his teeth. “hi yn.” you heard his deep voiced boyfriend shout. “Hi Felix.” you laughed. “I hate you so much.” jisung said, you laughed. “Love you too!” You waved goodbye, hanging up the phone.

You didn't bother getting yourself together; throwing on a pair of jean shorts and a tank top— they're your neighbors, the next time you'd see them is when you're dragging your exhausted body back into your home from your morning run, and that's even worse.

you made your way out of your house; knocking on the door of the house, your phone buzzing— jisung sending you a photo of his french cuisine. “lucky bitch.” you typed into your phone. “Bring me back a souvenir from paris.” you didn't bother to look up from your phone, so you didn't hear the door open. “Excuse me?”

The deep voice made you look up from your device; and it was like a god was standing right in front of you. “How can I help you?” he asked , you shook every dirty thought that ran through your head at that moment; putting your phone away. “O-oh sorry.” you chuckled. “I didn't hear the door open.”

The man was clearly at least a decade older than you; you could see the few gray hairs in his head— that didn't matter to you though. “I said how can I help you?” he said, his voice deep and sexy. “I'm yn, I live across the street.” you pointed. “my mother thought it would be a good idea to introduce myself so there wouldn't be any confusion this summer.” you said. “I just got home from college for summer break.”

“College?” He said, you nodded. “yup, my second year is done!” You chirped, this corner of his mouth curling into a smirk. “You won't be a problem right?” You were taken aback by the question, he chuckled. “Parties love, pretty girl like you; surely you're popular.” he said, but you stopped at him calling you pretty; smiling widely at him. “I won't have to worry about loud music and young adults passing out in your front yard right?” you could see his eyes wandering down; stopping right at your chest. “My wife hates the music you kids listen to.”

Right, his wife; he was married, the way he was practically trying to look through your shirt made you forget. “Oh no sir, most of my friends are on vacation.” he nodded. “im minho.” he held his hand out. “Well it's nice to meet you, yn.” he said, you nodded; your eyes scaling his body, much like he did to you; he was pretty fit for someone his age. “How old are you sir?” he raised his eyebrows; what an odd question. “34.” just around your age range. “and since we're asking those kinds of questions,” he said. “May I ask how old you are?” maybe it was a delusion, or maybe he actually was flirting with you— whatever it was, you liked it. “I'm 23 sir.”

“You're still pretty young,” he said; you tilted your head to the side, folding your arm with a frown. “but I am an adult.” you challenged; he nodded, clicking his tongue almost in an annoyed state; it made you smirked; you could read him like a book; he hated being challenged. “still a young girl in my eyes.” you wanted to roll your eyes, and he could see that; he could read you as much as you could him. “I have to get back to work now.” He said, you stepped back. “I'm sure you have things as well, whatever you little girls do these days.” he said, watching your jaw clench. “Remember, no loud crazy parties.”

“Can't promise that sir, it is summer.” was the last thing you said, before turning away; crossing the street, leaving him standing there, watching you go into the house; also getting a peek of your ass. He smirked, walking back into his house, closing the door. “Who was that?” He was quickly brought back to reality by his wife's voice. “at the door, who was it?”

“Oh the woman across the street.” he said walking straight past her into the kitchen. “What did she bring this time?” She followed behind him. “She's sent over 3 plates of cookies in the past month we've been here.” she said. “they aren't even that good; mines are way better.” minho rolled his eyes, they actually weren't, he knew the lady ran her own bakery and his wife barely knew the difference between melted and softened butter. “Of course they are honey.”

“So where are they?” she asked, searching for a plate. “The cookies.” She said, “Oh, you didn't let me finish.” Yeah he was being condescending, but his wife never noticed. “It wasn't her, it was her daughter,” he said, opening the fridge for water. “She's home from college.” He went to walk away, but his wife stood in front of him, her face in a frown. “how may I help you? I need to get back to work.”

“You are to stay away from that girl.” She said, he stared at her confused. “I mean it's not like I'm gonna ask her to come out and get beers with me, she's 23; we have nothing in common.” he said, trudging past his wife, making his way up the stairs. “She's a college student.” he said; very attractive but a college student nonetheless.

he made it back to his office, about to close the door and get back to work; when his wife burst in. “What is now?” He said sitting down. “The other wives.” she started. “They told me things about that girl.” She said, “like what?” He said; what could you have done to offend the housewives of the block. “Back talked to them in an argument; she's a young girl, they all do that.” he laughed, he could believe it; he witnessed it only a few minutes ago — except it turned him on.

he watched his wife scoff, he adjusted himself in his pants as she closed her eyes letting out a big sigh; he felt a rant coming on. “No, they told me she's been seducing their husbands since the day she turned 18.” He looked at his wife. “what?” he said. “Yeah, wearing tiny tiny clothes; flirting with their husbands, and her mother is none the wiser.” he shook his head. “Is she really seducing them, or is she a young pretty girl and they're just bitter miserable wives who can't control their husbands' wandering eyes?”

“Are you defending her?” he sighed, rubbing his temples; he didn't really want to have this conversation. “no I'm not honey, I'm just saying don't believe everything these housewives say.” He said. “yeah well I don't trust her, so stay away from her.” she said, he nodded; just ready to get her out of the room, he was busy; and not to mention his cock was hardening at the thought of you in one of those tiny tiny outfits the desperate housewives told his wife about. “yeah fine, I'll stay away from her.”

“Thank you.” she bent down kissing his forehead. “I love when you actually listen to me.” She said smugly as she walked out closing the door; it pissed him off, not like his banter with you— no that turned him on. “fuck.” he sighed doubling over , his cock throbbing in his pants, you were already driving him crazy.

You hadn't seen him much after that; only glimpses of him walking into his house with groceries, or getting into his car, and even then he looked good; making the spot in between your legs tingle — sure he was married, but it wasn't like you were doing anything wrong; what's wrong with a little fantasy inside your head, something to think about late at night when you had your hand down your sleep shorts, pretending it was him in between your legs, his hands instead of yours.

you did see his wife though, even though it was against your will every single time; and you hated it every single time, she ran the same route as you in the morning but at a later time; so when you were finishing your walk; she was just starting hers.

“Goodmorning.” Her smile was so fake as you slowed down , stopping in front of your mailbox. “How are you?” she yelled from across the street. “I’m fine.” You smiled , so desperate to get into the house; you were sweating and hungry— and you really didn't want to talk to this lady. “I'm good.” You said. “No plans this summer?” she asked. “Not really; most of my friends are back where I go to college.”

She then went on a rant of all the different jobs you could be doing. “Baby sitting, have you ever thought about that; of course you'd have to change your wardrobe a bit , it would be a bit inappropriate to wear some of the things you wear around kids wouldn't it?” this bitch was really working on your nerves. “If you have any kids , then I would be happy to watch them.”

“God no.” There he was again, walking out of the door. “No kids here,” he said. “We have our three cats and that's it.” his eyes scanning your outfit; your skin still glistening with sweat; he was seriously checking you out in front of his wife. “Well I love cats!” you jumped a bit; tits bouncing at the impact. “So cute.”

You knew what you were doing; and so did minho— his wife was quick to end the conversation between you too. “Well I'm sure you're busy, and it's time for my run.” she said. “And don't you have to feed the cats honey?” she said, turning to him, grabbing his arm. “what? oh yeah the cats.” He said. “yeah the cats , go feed them.” she said. “Okay baby.” he said; she turned to you smugly. “Well I better get going.” She said before she started down the street catching up with the other wives she ran with.

“Your wife doesn't like me very much.” He stopped; turning where you stood across the street, in a sports bra that held your tits perfectly; leggings that made your ass pop; and a smirk on your face— he so desperately wanted to fuck off. “I don't know she seemed to like you very much.” you knew he was joking. “it would be inappropriate to wear some of the things you wear, she basically called me a whore in housewives language.” You chuckled , folding your arms under your tits , forcefully pushing your boobs up. “don't worry, I don't care; the housewives on this block have said worse.”

“yeah like what?” he said , stuffing his hands into his pockets. “that I'm just a whore put on earth to seduce their husbands.” you said , a laugh following. “I'm not worried about their husbands, but I can't say the same for their husbands.” You shrugged. “oh really?” He said, you nodded. “but hey it's not my problem, they like to stare.” you shrugged, he did that sexy eyebrow raise again. “They do, don't they?”

Fuck you knew what you were doing; and not only did it piss him off, it fucking turned him on. “I can't say I don't like the attention though.” you said, watching him shift from side to side. “who wouldn't?” he had to get away before he came across the street and dragged you into his house; then he heard it, the meow of the cats. “oh shit.” he said, making you laugh. “time to feed the cats sir.” You waved. “Have a nice day.” you made your way into the house, making sure to sway your hips, giving him a good view of your ass.

“I'm telling you sung he wants to fuck me.” you said; your friend shook his head. “Wow, that took you not only a week.” He said. “He's married, no?” You shrugged. “and that's my problem?” You said. “I said he wants to fuck me, he knows he married.” Morally yes it was fucked up, but you didn't really care. “yeah but the wife already hates you, she finds out you want to fuck her husband.” he said. “you've never seen an episode of snapped? deadly women?” you shook your head. “i’d rather start the semester with you and not the memory of you.”

“How hot is he exactly?” you sent him a photo that you stole from his social media— yes you stalked him. “Oh wow.” he said. “yah.” You heard felix in the background. “Hey lix.” you said. “yn don't die trying to fuck a married man.” The blonde said. “I won't lix don't worry, don't kill my friend in milan.” you responded. “i can't promise you that if he doesn't stop looking at that fucking photo.” you laughed as he slapped the phone. “hey! let me talk to my friend in peace.”

“you want to fuck him too huh?” you heard him say. “no you know I only want to fuck you.” you shook your head. “i'm hanging up before I witness a live amateur porn.” you said. “Call me later.” You hung up. “Now what?” you said.

You decided to go sunbathing; finding your favorite bikini, grabbing your towel and sunscreen and favorite book. “Where's my daughter off now?” your mom said. “sunbathing.” you said grabbing some snacks. “In the front yard?” You nodded. “Have fun, I have work today.” you hummed, making your way outside, you set up your things right in front; taking your shirt off laying down on the towel , feeling the sun beaming down on you.

“Are you kidding me?” minho heard his wife's voice. “Is she serious right now?” He stood up from his office chair , making his way to their shared room, where his wife was standing in front of the window. “What's wrong now?” He said. “she's out there in a bikini and shorts; laying in the sun.”

“Okay?” He said, she scoffed. “Everyone can see her , what kind of slut wears that in front of her house.” she said, he made his way over to the window. “There's no one out there.” He said, she glared at him. “Move, I'm going to the grocery store.” she pushed past him. “You already went to the grocery store.” he said following behind. “this is for the barbeque.” she said. “What barbeque?” he said , they both made their way outside to the car. “I told you we're hosting the barbeque at our house.”

“seriously; we just moved here,” he said. “even more reason for us to do it.” she picked his lips. “Who's gonna be there?” he asked. “Everyone on the block.” he did not feel comfortable having all those people running in and out of his house, but his wife was dead set, so it was already set and stone. “Hello!” The couple turned their heads to the voice.

“I'm off.” your mom came out of the house. “Okay!” you said looking up from the book. “Oh there go the Lee's.” she said , you sat up watching the couple walk out of the house. “Hello!” your mom waved brightly at them. “Oh hello!” You covered your eyes from the sun. “Yn don't be rude, say hello.” Your mom said. “Hi.” you waved, his wife didn't say anything. “Hello yn.” he said, you smiled at the way he said your name. “Where are you two off to today?” your mom asked. “Oh just to get some things for the barbeque we're throwing for the block.”

“Oh that sounds fun!” your mom said. “you're welcome to come.” she turned to you; her smile was different towards you than your mother. “You to yn, you're both welcomed.” she said, the invitation mostly towards your mom. “Oh thank you, we'll be there.” the other woman nodded. “Great!” you and minho made eye contact , you smiled. “can't wait.”

It was finally the day of the barbeque; your mother forcing you across the street with the cookies in her hand. “You're not gonna rot in the bed today.” You groaned. “i don't want to be here with these people.” she ignored you, knocking on the door. “It's only for an hour.” she said. “you know that cute boy down the street, he'll be here.” she winked , you cringed. “Why do you keep trying to marry me off to him?” you said. “because you can't spend all your time with jisung, even he has a boyfriend.”

the door opened , minho stood there. “hello.” your mom held out the plate of cookies. “mhm , my favorite.” he smiled. “thank you.” he stood to the side. “Everyone is in the back,” he said. “Thank you for inviting us.” your mother said. “No problem, you've been so nice to us with these cookies ever since we moved here,” he said. “Me and my wife really enjoy them,” he said. “I'm glad , come by the shop and I'll give you some free cupcakes.” she said. “Thank you ma’am.”

You two made it to the back where everyone was. “There's seungmin over there.” your mom pointed. “go talk to him.” Minho watched you stomp over to the boy, your mom making her way over to a group of women; his eyes scanning your outfit, your mini skirt sitting right below your ass, the shirt you wore barely covering your plush boobs; fuck he just wanted to stick his cock in between them. “fuck.” he cursed.

“you okay man?” Chan, another neighbor, came up to him. “yeah I'm fine.” he said , not taking his eyes off of you. “I see you've met yn.” the older guy chuckled. “yeah I guess.” He said. “Listen, let me give you some advice.” Chan said. “fuck your wife.” Minho turned to him. “What?” he said, the Australian laughed. “I know what you're thinking; wife being a bit of a bitch, barely having sex.” He chuckled, that was exactly his story. “Here comes this young girl with a nice ass and a good pair of tits , batting her eyelashes, a bit of a brat?”

“You seem to know a lot.” He said. “because I was you, man.” Chris said, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “But you know what I did? i went home and fucked my wife.” he said. “forgot all about it.” he said. “I'm telling you it's not worth it.” he said. “Fuck your wife.”

He knew Chan was right, but that didn't stop him from looking at you; his eyes meeting yours. you tilted your head to the side, your sultry smile as you say your goodbyes to seungmin, making your way over to him, he looked around making sure your mom or his wife wasn't paying attention , as you finally were standing in front of him. “Can I use your bathroom?”

He didn't have to follow you; he could've just given you the directions— but he really wasn't thinking; and he wished he would have been. “You have a nice home.” You said. “Thank you.” He said watching you purposely sway your hips side to side. “fuck.” he says to himself. “huh?” you asked , but you can hear him , he could see you smirking teasing him. “fucking brat.”

you definitely heard him this time, you laughed. “sir what's wrong?” you went to touch his shoulder in fake concern. He grabbed your wrist, pushing you against the wall. “fuck why couldn't you just stay away?” he growled. “Am I really to blame?” you took your other hand , traveling down to his waist. “Yn.” He weakly warned. “You can stop me if you want.” you said , your hand inching further— right to his cock, giving it a little squeeze. “fuck.” He groaned. “but I don't think you want me to.”

this was it; you finally were gonna get what you've wanted all this time; married or not you wanted his cock inside of you. “your wife doesn't have to know.” that's what set him off , grabbing the back of your head. “fuck shut up.” He said. “Get on your knees.” he said , roughly pushing you down. “you thought you were gonna get fucked didn't you?” you hissed as he yanked your hair. “too bad I'm just gonna stuff my cock down your throat and you're gonna take it like the little slut you are.”

he used his other hand to pull down his pants , freeing his cock from his underwear; his stock almost hitting you in your face. “you're so big” he hissed as you gave the tip of his cock a kiss. “yeah, want my cock down your throat.” He stroked his length in front of your face. “Fuck.” he slapped his cock on your lips. “open up.” he his tip against your lips. “fuck.”

He slowly pushed his cock into your mouth , holding your head still as he forced his cock down your throat. “shit your little throat taking my cock so good.” he hissed. “go-gonna fuck your face.” he moved his hips , holding the wall above your head, his balls slapping against your chin as he fucked your face in the middle of the hallway of the house he shared with his wife. “fuck I'm gonna cum.” he moaned. “fuck fuck fuck.” he thrusted a few more time , pulling out of your mouth , stroking his cock vigorously. “shit I'm cumming!” he shouted , his warm sticky cum shooting from his cock hitting your face. “Fuck.”

He looked down at your smiling cum covered face. “You tasted good.” you said wiping some off your cheek , putting your fingers to your mouth. You stood up , holding his cock in your hand, stroking it. “You came so much , it must've been a while.” he hissed. “sh-shit.” He said. “dont you want to fuck me?” He did, fuck he really did. “m-my wife.” he groaned. “outside.” you sighed, you forgot about the party. “I guess we'll have to wait.” you let his throbbing cock go. “Fuck I'm still hard.” he groaned.

You chuckled, wiping the rest of his cum off face. “thats too bad, I know you had a bunch of more cum for me.” he wanted to drag you up to his room and fuck you into the mattress, damned everyone in the back. “fucking brat.” he hissed, you kissed the corner of his mouth with a smile. “When does your wife leave for work?”

“11.” he said , you nodded. “I'll be here at one.” That's all you said before leaving him standing in the hall, guilt building in his stomach, not only did he just cheat on his wife— he knew he was gonna do it again.

he cleaned himself up; going back to the party. “Hey minho.” your mother came up to him. “Have you seen yn, she seemed to have escaped.” of he did. “um she said she wasn't feeling good so she headed home,” he said. “that girl, always something.” she shook his head. “What's wrong?” his wife came over. “oh nothing yn got sick and had to go home.” he could see his wife's smile, luckily your mom didn't see it. “Awe too bad.” she said. “I guess I better go see if she's okay, I had a nice time.” your mother said, before excusing herself.

“don't worry i didn't poison her.” she said, he stared at her. “laugh minho it's funny.” she kissed his lips before walking away, he made eye contact with Chan who gave him a nod— if only he knew it was too late for him.

He did completely ignore chris's word , as soon as the last person was gone, and the house was quiet and clean again; he brought his wife up to their room. “fuck minho!” his wife shouted as he fucked into her. “fuck faster.” he held her hips down as he plowed into her , wishing it was you that was under. “minho fuck!” his wife shouted into his ear. “Wait, don't go so fast.” she moaned, but all he could he do was imagine it was you , yelling for him to go faster , fuck you harder and faster. “Minho I'm cumming.” his wife shrieked. “fuck wait I'm not there yet.” he groaned, he knew once she was finished he wouldn't be able to continue. “fuck I'm cumming.” she shouted. “fuck I came Minho , pull out.”

he sighed, pulling out , laying on his back cock still hard. “fuck.” He cursed. “That was so good.” his wife laid breathless next to him. “But you were a bit too rough , next time don't go so hard.” He wasn't worried about that, he was too focused on his throbbing cock. “Hey, can you help me with this?” he said. “I can't tonight, I'm too tired and I have work in the morning.” she kissed his cheek. “I'm sure you can handle yourself.”

he watched her turn on her side, turning the light off leaving him in the dark , unable to sleep due to his cock. “fuck.” he cursed as he wrapped his hands around his length, thinking about how tight your throat felt around his cock , the way you gagged around his length; spit coming from your mouth, so messy. “fuck.” he moaned , cumming all over his hand to the thought of you.

he grabbed a tissue off the nightstand; wiping himself clean , throwing the tissue into the trash. He climbed back into the bed, pulling the covers over his body; his wife snoring beside him, he turned the light on his side off— he really tried to listen to what chan said, but he was far too gone.

he knew he was gonna fuck you when you came over tomorrow.

“Wait girl, did you really think this through?” jisung said. “I thought we were joking about this,” he said. “did you already fuck him?” he questioned. “not exactly.” you said. “what does that mean?” Felix said both of them invested now in their hotel room in Belgium. “I may or may not have given him head yesterday at the barbeque.” Both of their mouths dropped. “Are you kidding?” you shook your head. “oh my god yn you're insane.” jisung said. “How didn't his wife catch you?” you shrugged. “I don't know.”

“It's 11:30 now , are you gonna go?” felix asked, you looked at the clock. “maybe.” you said. “I know I really shouldn't support this.” jisung said. “but you're gonna do it anyway aren't you?” he asked. “i think his wife is leaving now , you got up looking out the window, sure enough she was walking to her car. “yeah it's her she's leaving now.” you spoke into the phone— fuck it. “I'm going.” you said. “Please don't get caught in his bed by his wife.” jisung said. “and don't get pregnant.” you hung up , getting dressed.

your mom had already left so you didn't have to explain to her why you suddenly were leaving; in the shortest skirt possible you might add, slipping on your shoes , opening the door to your house. you kept an eye for nosey housewives as you made your way across the street , knocking on the door; still keeping an eye out for people. the door opened up, revealing the man himself. “hi.”

before you could say something; he was dragging you into the house, closing the door, slamming you against it. “Jesus you're really eager aren't you?” you teased , he growled pressing you against the door. “I'm so fucking hard right now.” he said. “I can feel your cock throbbing , you're still thinking about my throat aren't you?” you squeezed his cock. “Is your wife not giving you head?” You pouted , “poor you.”

he was ready to take you against the door , but instead he forced himself away. “upstairs,” he said. “now.” you heard his commanding tone, he guided you to his room , slapping your ass, pushing the door open. “short fucking skirt , what's the point of it?” he growled , pulling you by the waist of the skirt, unbuttoning the button, pulling it down , leaving you in your panties. “take your shirt off.” you obeyed him , pulling the shirt over your head , he palmed his cock watching you undress.

“fuck get on the bed.” this was the bed he shared with his wife , but you could care less at this moment , spreading your legs for the older man , your wet cunt on display. “so fucking messy.” he pulled his pants down , revealing his underwear. “gonna use that cunt.”

he got on the bed , rubbing your clothed cunt. “fuck s-sir.” he smirked. “You like calling me sir.” he pulled your panties to the side, rubbing his cock along your folds. “You love cock that bad that you'd fuck anyone.” he groaned as he slid the tip of his cock in. “fuck a married man?” You moaned feeling his cock stretching you out. “pl-please fuck me.”

he fully bottomed out inside you. “fuck your pussy is so tight.” he groaned. “you-you're so big.” you moaned. “Please move.” you begged , he pulled out, before slamming back into you. “oh fuck!” you shrieked , clutching the bed sheets below you as he began to plow into you. “fuck I want you to cum all over my cock.” he hissed as you tightened around him. “fuck I'm gonna cum sir.” you moaned, your legs shaking. “fuck i'm cumming.”

a white ring formed around the base of his cock as he kept fucking into you. “gonna cover your pussy in my cum.” he hissed, his hand coming up to your boob to squeeze it. “fuck I'm gonna cum.” he cursed , pulling out cumming all over your cunt. “shit.” he tapped his cock on your cunt. “fuck, come here.”

he grabbed waist, flipping you over. “ass up.” he lifted your hips up; rubbing his cock along your folds. “You want my cock again?” you nodded. “Pl-please fuck me, want your cock sir.” he groaned. “yeah, want my cock?” he held the base of his cock coated with your juices, slapping your ass. “come on slut , fuck yourself on my cock.”

you pushed yourself back on his cock, both of you moaning out again. “that's it , stretch yourself out with my cock.” He groaned , grabbing your hip. “fuck i can't take it.” he pushed your head against the pillow , plowing into you. “fuck , that's it.” he groaned. “how does it feel being fucked past your limits by a married man?” he groaned. “so-so good.” your words barely audible due to your face being pushed against the pillow. “My wife lays her head right where you're drooling like a brain dead slut.”

you felt the knot in your stomach forming again. “You gonna cum again?” he said , his cock twitching. “ye-yes , please let me cum.” you begged. “no need to beg , I'm gonna let you cum slut.” he slapped your ass. “go ahead cum all over my cock.” your legs gave out as you cum , but he didn't stop , and you didn't want him to either. “fu-fuck I'm gonna cum.” he whimpered. “fuck.”

“i-inside.” You moaned. “fu-fuck I can't.” he groaned. “pl-please , cum inside me.” his hips twtiched as you tightened around him. “of fuck I'm cumming, gonna give you what you want.” he whispered in your ear , biting down on it as he came inside you. “fuck.” he drawed out as he came , his cum flooding your abused cunt. “shit.” he cursed, pulling , watching his cum leak out of you, it was probably the best thing he'd seen in a long time , he slapped your ass. “such a good pussy.”

“you don't feel guilty?” you asked , laying in his arms , it has been a while and it finally hit you while you laid in his arms , naked— in the bed he shared with his wife. “I guess,” he said. “what if we get caught?” you asked. “We won't.” he said. “She leaves everyday except for Sundays at 11.” he said. “she leaves; you come over and I take you on different surfaces of the house.” he bit your neck before kissing where he bit at. “she’ll be none the wiser.”

“And when I go back to school?” you didn't live far , but it was still a drive. “We'll figure it out , I'll drive the 2 hours if I have to.” he said. “you'd drive two hours there and back every weekend just to fuck me?”

he flipped you over , you yelp; feeling his cock against your folds. “fuck.” he cursed. “for this pussy?” he pushed his tip in. “fu-fuck yeah , I'd drive for it.”

“Now we still have 4 hours left and I want to spend as much time as I can inside this pretty cunt.”

©️LUVYENI

[jybyls]

Last night || C.W

Materlist

Synopsis: You and CC are at a college party, but she gets distracted by her friends.

Warnings: G!p!CC, smut, p in v, oral, unprotected sex, anxiety (?), bad writing, and I think that's it.

Words: 1.7k~

- 📜🎧🍂 -

Fuck this party, fuck those people, and fuck her.

CC brought you with her to this party because she got invited by the host and dragged you with her. That's could've been a lot of fun if she didn't abandon you to go get intoxicated with her stupid football friends. You isolated yourself in one of the unoccupied rooms, watching random videos on your phone to make the time pass. An hour, then two, later three, you're now fast asleep on your side with your phone almost falling out of your hand.

CC was finally starting to wonder where you were after three goddamn hours. She looked around the place where you could possibly be. After a good quarter, she finally found you curled up in someone's bed. She sighed as she slowly closed the door behind her. She sat next to you, a soft hand on your leg, rubbing it to wake you up. You jolted awake, "Hey, shh, shh, shh, it's just me." Yeah, that's the problem it was her, and you did not want to see her right now. You moved away from her, picked up your phone, and quickly stood up, "Hey, where are you going ?" You avoided her puppy eyes, knowing you can't stay mad at her when she looks at you like that.

"Away. From you." That came out colder than what you expected, but oh well, she deserved it. "What ? Why ? Baby, come back to me." Her hand grabbed yours, bringing you to her. She slightly looked down at you as her arm looped itself around your waist. It was getting harder not to look at her, but you tried your best looking down at your feet. CC did not like that, "Hey, look at me." She whispered, her hand to your chin so you'd look at her, "No.." You mumbled, pushing your head away from her grip. You felt an overwhelming feeling growing inside your stomach going up your head.

She might be dumb for not immediately understanding her mistake, but she's still your girlfriend, and she can sense when you're about to cry. Her hands hugged your cheeks, forcing you to look at her, "Baby, please. Talk to me." She softly spoke, not to scare you off. You wanted to yell at her for being so stupid, but you knew that yelling at someone their mistake wasn't the best idea and will most surely draw them away from you. So, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and talked,

"CC, you left me here for three hours because you were joking around with your friends." Then only she realised the gravity of what she did. Anxiety took control of her body. The only thing on her mind was 'How could you be that dumb ? Leaving your girlfriend alone to a party, she didn't even want to come to in the first place. Oh my god, she'll never forgive me.' Her mind was rambling so much she thought she was saying all those thoughts.

But, no.

Here, you were patiently waiting for her answer, but nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"Please, talk to me." Heard that somewhere before, no ? She snapped out of her thought, finding her voice again, "Sorry, I'm so sorry baby, I'm- shit how could I leave you alone ? For three hours ?! Oh my god, I'm a horrible girlfriend. Fuck we were talking about our next match, you know how football easily distracts me ? No, I can't use that as an excuse. Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry I love you so much and I did not forget about you. I promise. I just got carried away and-" You cupped her cheeks, that by the way were red as fuck from her panic state.

She metled in your touch, closing her eyes. She softly held your wrists and kissed your palms, "I'm sorry, my love." She whispered, "Maybe I can show you how sorry I am ?" Her eyes shot right into yours. Desperation, lust, and sorrow were readable in those blue eyes of hers, "Please ?" She brought you closer to her. She was so, so, sorry. Poor thing, I just wanted you to forgive her. How could you not when she was so vulnerable ? You gave in, obviously, nodding, letting her know she could try to make it up to you. A smile tugged on her lips as her eyes lighted up like she was the happiest woman on earth.

Her hands slided to your waist, pulling you into a heated kiss. She kept it slow and passionate. All her forgiveness was in that kiss. She pulled you to lay down on the bed, "I'll make you forget how of a bad girlfriend I was." She whispered near your ear before bitting your lobe. She kissed down your jaw, then your neck, delicately leaving hickeys on your neck. Your shirt and bra didn't last long. Her lips on your bare chest were quick to come. She gave equal attention to both of your breasts, which made you impatient, your hips instinctively rolled into her. Usually, she would've teased you about it, but she knew she shouldn't even think about it right now. She kissed all the way down your stomach as her hands were zipping off your skirt, and her teeth were taking care of your panties.

Her lips kissed around your inner thighs, after multiples whining from you she finally kissed your clit. Your body jolted as your hand flew to her hair keeping her between your legs. Her tongue traced an eight shape on your clit, sucking it in every now and then, her hands squeezed your thighs, bringing you closer to her if that was even possible. She moaned in your cunt, the sounds of yours was echoing in the room, her name falling ever so perfectly from your mouth. She made sure her tongue took every inch of you, taking her time to taste you so your flavour will stay on her tongue for days. She ate you out like a starved woman.

Her eyes were taking in the sight in front of her, your mouth wide open, moans, gasps, and heavy breath coming out of it, hot drop of sweats falling down your forehead. You were a hot mess. But the most important thing is that she had a perfect view of the butterfly tattoo under your chin. You got this tattoo specifically for her to have the best angle of it when she gives you head, like right now. She was so happy this tattoo existed. It made everything so much hotter. The way your neck moved with a few veins popping out was such a turn-on for her.

Her hips unconsciously started to rock against the mattress of the bed, her cock was painfully hard and needed any kind of friction. She whined in your cunt yet she went even faster and deeper, she was determined to make you cum.

And that determination was worth it because not so long after your back arched, your head thrown back in the pillow with a final broken scream of her name as your abdomen muscles let go. That was definitely one of the biggest orgasm you ever had. The other one was also caused by CC. Let's just say she knows how your body works.

She took every last drop of what you could give her, licking up your folds one last time before going up to your face for a sweet kiss. "Fuck, I can taste myself." You chuckled, still trying to catch your breath, CC smiled and kissed you again however the sweet kiss quickly turned into a feverish one. You could feel her hard-on grinding against your sensitive cunt, making gasp, breaking the kiss by the same time. Miserable moans and weak groans could be heard from her mouth while her hips rocked harder.

You took her top off along with her skirt and tights. Her dick slapped against her stomach, all hard and needy for you, "Can I ?" She mumbled into your neck, asking for permission to seep into you. You unhesitatingly nodded. Even if you just had a huge orgasm you could never deny your girlfriend's pleasure (plus you were still horny). She didn't waste a second and slowly penetrated your wet pussy. She muffled her moans in your neck, you were the only thing she could think about at this moment, so highly drunk on you.

Your nails scratched her back. Meanwhile, hers were sinking into your side. Her neediness got the best of her, her hips went faster, her cock sliding in and out of you so soothingly. It was one damn of a sight. "Fuck, fuck, you feel so good, love." She panted, moving her face out of your neck to look at you. Pleasure was all over your features.

Your moans were getting a little too loud, so she kissed you to shut you up. Your fingers got lost in her blonde locks as you got lost in the moment. Her hips slapping against the back of your thighs, her fingers teasing your clit, her mouvement getting faster and deeper only to hit that sweet spot of yours, she filled you up, oh, so well, you knew you couldn't last long. And neither could she. The way your walls hugged her cock, the sounds of the wetness, and warmness of your pussy was driving her insane, she only wanted to fill you up with her cum.

And she did. You both reached your climax at the same time, she painted your walls while you owned her cock. She rolled her hips a few more times before her dick finally soften. She pulled out of, hugging you while kissing your forehead, "You did so well, and I'm so sorry I promised I won't do anything like that again. Matter of fact I won't come to parties anymore." You tiringly laughed at her statement, "You can still go to parties but don't forget me like this again." You explained, "I won't, I won't. Let's get cleaned up real quick then go home, huh ?" She kissed your nose and rushed to the shared bathroom to get a towel. She quickly cleaned you up and dressed you, then did the same for her.

She picked you up, knowing you won't be able to walk correctly after those two intense orgasms. "I forgive you." You whispered, a joyful grin formed on her face. She carried you all the way home, ignoring her friends on her out.

The night did not end with those two orgasms.

- 📜🎧🍂 -

A/n: Kinda rushed this tbh, but anyway, I might start answering requests soon :)

Have a good day/night. Love y'all <3

[cherrysurf]

“rumor has it” | osamu miya x f!reader

⌗this is part two of horrible winters

contains; revenge, fluff, happy ending

“You called?” the voice spoke

“Yea We broke up.” you popped the “P” part in a blunt tone.

“Even though he was my friend it was fucked up to do what he did.” The voice sighed over the phone

“Suna never in his life cheated before and then all of a sudden izumi shows up and it’s like a switch flipped, her going after him even after all that just proves the type of girl she is. I’m sorry Yn.” He said pinching his nose bridge shaking his head at the actions of his friend.

“I know, Thank you for telling me I really appreciate you know.” You look up at your ceiling taking a deep breath knowing that the pain was finally over

“Let’s go out to eat sometime?” the voice said causing you to snap out of the trance you were just in

“Wait, are you serious osamu?” your voice boomed in excitement yet nervousness.

“Yea, why not? let me show you good food and what a real man looks like.” the voice once monotoned now sounding cocky and confident.

“Are you sure? I just got out of a relationship you know…” you mentioned after coming back to reality realizing how fucked up this sounds.

“I don’t expect you to start liking me or anything, but I'd love the opportunity to get to know you more.” He added smiling through the phone as his plan was moving into motion.

“Okay, Yea sure let’s go out then Samu!” You feel yourself beaming with joy and excitement, something you haven’t felt in ages.

“Sounds good, pick you up tomorrow?” he added not being able to wipe the grin off his face.

“Yeah sure! see you then!” you exclaimed.

“See you Yn.” he said slyly.

Osamu finally had you right where we wanted you. Truth be told you caught osamu’s eye way before you caught sunas eye. What suna failed to see was that his dear best friend was playing chess while suna was playing checkers. Suna wasn’t ever going to be able to treat you the way Osamu knew you should be treated. So as soon as suna decided to confide in the gray haired fox about his dirty laundry. Osamu knew it was game over for suna and He'd be the hero in your story.

Osamu valued his and Sunas friendship to a certain extent. When suna flipped into a person osamu could not recognize he cared less about feeling bad to plot on you to be his. After all, first come first serve.

Atsumu knew about this whole ordeal. He didn’t care and it didn't bother him. He had bigger plans on becoming pro that exceeded this stupid college drama that was going on between his brother and his friend.

“It’s your fight osamu, what suna did was fucked up. So i’m not gonna defend him i'm just telling you what yer’ in for” he said sipping on his protein shake while waiting for his brother to finish getting ready so they could head to the gym.

“Suna shouldn’t have fumbled someone like Yn with a girl like izumi, he’ll see that sooner or later but by the time he does she’ll already be mine.” He smiled not having a single care in the world about what the green eyed man thought.

“And you’re so sure of this because?” Atsumu looked at his brother confused.

“The way she got so excited about me asking her out on a date said everything. Suna never put in much effort after he and Yn made it official he dropped her “bare minimum” to the ground. If I build it back up to a level so high that he can’t reach it, she'll never take him back.” He smirked

This wasn’t all about osamu. He genuinely cared for you and saw the good in you and didn’t want you to end up with someone who’d barely give you the time of day. He was going to fix that because anything for you.

Safe to say his plans worked, Three months later Osamu found himself calling you his officially. Life was perfect and everything he wanted since before you knew.

The talks you two shared during the time of getting to know each other explained all sides of the story, how osamu fell for you first and everything in between up till now. He didn’t feel right hiding anything from you he just felt terrible about not acting on it sooner.

You didn’t really think you’d find a good real love for awhile but osamu came through immediately not wanting to pass up on another chance of not being able to take a shot at trying to call you his.

Suna did find out, although he was furious he couldn’t say anything due to izumi’s iron grip she had on him “sucks to suck.” was all suna was met with when he tried to confront osamu in private.

You found peace and he didn’t that was all the satisfaction you needed to be healed.

this was mostly just for @multi-fandom-fanfic since they requested a part two and it was interesting to write.

gen taglist; @heartmaddie @ellsarchive @vertejay @massacremars @bakery-anon @pneumosia @na-i1

[artaxlivs]

Lie On My Front

“Lie to me.”

“What?” Stiles flails, rapping his knuckles painfully against the door jam as he spins to face Derek. “Why? Why would I do that?” He sticks the knuckles of his injured hand into his mouth, sucking at the pain, knowing it won’t help but the placebo of thinking it does being too well trained into him.

“Because I can’t go back to the way we were.” Derek growls, glaring at Stiles’ hand until he drops it from his mouth.

Oh.

“Because of the–”

“Yes,” Derek growls, cutting him off and taking a step away from Stiles. “Because of that.”

That.  

That part of their day yesterday when Stiles and Derek had woken up, tied together in a crate that was clearly on or in a moving vehicle. A crate that was only wide enough for one person, only long enough for one and a half people and not nearly tall enough for two people to be stacked on top of each other.

That part where Stiles had woken up in the dark, a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth and rubbed his face into his pillow - a pillow that turned out to be Derek’s junk. He was facedown between Derek’s splayed legs, their forearms were bound tightly together Derek’s right arm to Stiles’ left, and vice versa, Derek’s splayed fingers cupping Stiles’ elbows. Not only was it a horribly awkward way to be tied together, it made it impossible to reach for anything because neither could bend their arms while the other was strapped to them.

“Stiles, get your face off of my–!” Derek growled but it was low and sounded pained.

Scoffing, Stiles said, “Sure thing, where- where do you want me to go?” He tried scooting away but pulling on Derek’s arms just caused a thunk in the dark where he must have hit his face off the ceiling of the crate.

“Ow, what are you–”

Stiles pushed himself upwards this time, trying to crawl so his face was on Derek’s washboard abs. Jesus, those washboard abs. Here he was, finally within licking range of them and he couldn’t even do it. Could he? No, no he couldn’t. Consent and all that. But god, Derek smelled so good. All clean sweat and musk. And Stiles didn’t need to be a werewolf to smell that no matter what Derek’s arguments to the contrary, he was turned on by having Stiles’ face in his lap. Which was definitely a revelation.

It wasn’t just the rush of earthy musk giving him away either, it was the growing bulge that brushed against Stiles cheek and jaw, even the tip of his nose, every time one of them attempted to adjust their position again.

Stiles was pretty fucking sure that he himself smelled of desperation and need. Which he probably used to smell like all the time, back in high school. But it’s been a long fucking time since he was a desperate bisexual virgin forced to watch the hottest man alive walk around shirtless all the time. No, over the past six years, he’d not only grown into his long arms and legs but he’d also learned to use his Bambi eyes and full mouth to his advantage so desperation and need were not something he experienced anymore. He was a card carrying queer now who had dated a full rainbow spectrum of people. 

But.

Derek. This was Derek. It didn’t matter that Stiles was twenty-two years old, a college graduate, and got laid on the regular now. Put him in an awkward position with Derek freaking Hale and he was reduced to a bumbling horny teenager again. Stiles pressed his hips down against the wood of the crate, trying to gently crush the hopes and dreams of his inappropriate boner. Because hope was happening. Derek had kept Stiles at arms length for years. And Stiles had tucked his crush way down deep because he knew that Derek had *trauma* and he didn't want to step on his toes.

But.

Derek lied. He'd lied to himself and to Stiles. He was a lying liar who lied. On his back. And his front. 

“Hey, did you know that only when you lie on your front is it actually called prone?”

Huffing, Derek mumbled, “Stiles, what the are you even talking about?”

“Supine. I’m actually talking about supine. That's what it's called when you lie on your back but Scott and I decided it’s a secret word for a werewolf STI, thoughts?”

“I think you’re an idiot.” Derek growled but it was fond. 

“Oh hey! I have an idea,” Stiles exclaimed as it hit him. He tried to wriggle up a bit so he could rest his chin on Derek’s belt buckle. Derek whined, trying to pull his knees up to protect himself probably but only managed to squeeze Stiles between his thighs instead. Which, of course, was a wet dream come to life and Stiles’ boner completely ignored propriety and fattened up in his too tight jeans. Jesus fucking Christ.

Derek’s boner had the same idea apparently because it was currently pressed into the side of Stiles’ throat. It was actually pressing up against his jaw as well. Stiles gave an indelicate snort as he wondered how appropriate a monster cock joke right now would be.

Probably not very. 

“Stiles.” Derek seethed through clenched teeth, squeezing the backs of Stiles’ elbows with his fingertips. Thankfully he was sans claws.

“Stop moving!” Stiles choked out, feeling the press of Derek’s bulge against his Adam’s apple.

“You stop!” Derek hissed, closing his legs around him until Stiles was forced to lay perfectly still.

“Okay, okay, listen - I’ll press my elbows together and you grow just your pinky claw out and try to carefully cut the binding off the other arm.”

They tried it. It didn’t go well. Stiles elbowed Derek in the dick trying to keep his face out of his crotch and Derek drew blood on the first attempt at cutting the binding.

“Dammit!” Derek cursed. “I can’t do this because I can’t see the angle well enough. I’m going to knick that artery in your elbow. You’ll have to direct my claw.”

“How do you propose I do that?” Stiles asked incredulously, “My hands are kind of,” he attempted a jazz hands maneuver which jostled both of them and Derek bucked up, hitting Stiles in the chin with his huge freaking dick, “...tied,” Stiles finished lamely. 

Sighing, Derek got them back into position. “With your teeth,” He finally said, knowing full well that Stiles was going to laugh his ass off at the irony of that.

Barely, just barely, Stiles managed to avoid dropping his face into Derek’s lap to giggle like a schoolgirl over that. Turning his head, he pressed his face into his own bicep and stifled his laughter.

Still chortling a bit, Stiles groped around with his mouth in the dark until he found Derek’s bent pinky, he took the knuckle between his teeth and felt Derek’s claw slide out of the end. It’s slow going, made worse by their position and the heat of the small crate. It’s got small ventilation holes so they won’t suffocate but it’s doing nothing for the temperature. If only one of them wasn’t a freaking werewolf who wasn’t basically a giant furnace on legs.

Nice legs, muscular and hairy, currently closed around Stiles in a way that is definitely going to be featured in his Stiles’ time later. Above him, Derek keened and his hips made an aborted thrust up into Stiles throat. He bit down hard on Derek’s finger so as not to lose his grip on it and then Derek’s hips did roll up.

He tried not to but the hard cock pressing into his jugular made Stiles gag reflexively then he moaned and his eyes rolled back in his head. Jesus - he could just pull Derek’s zipper down with his teeth and see how much of that freaking monster he could in his throat instead of against it. Sixteen year old him would have been mortified and freaking out but now Stiles is more experienced at reading the body signals of other people. He knows that Derek is feeling the same thing and holy shit is that a turn on. Why are they even bothering to pretend otherwise?

“Stiles, the binding, cut it loose. Please.” Derek practically begged, all of his muscles tense like he’s a second away from saying fuck it and humping Stiles’ face. And Stiles is into that. He’s also very into Derek begging and finds himself wondering if Derek ever bottoms because honestly, it would be a travesty for no one to enjoy that ass. “Stiles!”

Stiles couldn't answer, his mouth was still clamped around Derek’s knuckle. He got back to it, using the claw like a tiny saw and it’s not as simple as he’d hoped. The binding isn’t ropes, it’s more like a sleeve wrapped and wrapped and tied in several places so it doesn’t just start to unravel when they cut through the first one finally.

They tried to pull their arms apart anyway but it didn't budge. Mother fucker. Whoever did this to them deserves props first because Stiles has never been tied up in a way that he can’t get out of alone and second, deserves a kick to the face because fuck them, seriously.

“Okay, let’s go again,” He told Derek as sweat pooled at his temples, on the ridge of his upper lip, the back of his neck and at the base of his spine. It’s hot and he’s got a raging boner. He wants a bottle of water and a bottle of lube, it doesn’t even have to be in that order.

They carefully shift around, adjusting their arms for the new angle. Stiles has to wedge himself around Derek’s hip to where he’s almost lying on his side so that he can be under their bound arms to get his teeth around Derek’s pinky again.

Everything got awkward much faster this time. Stiles bobs his head up and down, back and forth. Derek curled his hips toward Stiles to give him more room to get to the bindings but it also brought Derek’s junk into contact with the hollow of Stile’ throat and his collarbone. He moaned around the finger in his mouth, resisting the urge to bury his face in Derek’s crotch and let himself be ridden until his toes curl.

They’re through the next section of binding and they don’t stop this time by silent agreement. Stiles wriggled up a bit, adjusting his body deeper into the V of Derek’s legs. The heat of him there is almost burning through Stiles’ thin cotton T-shirt and he can feel the tight rounded swell of Derek’s balls as they tap against him with every jostle of the back and forth sawing motion.

Derek moaned through what sounded like closed lips, possibly over fangs. His other leg moved to clamp around Stiles and his hips rolled up, grinding his erection against Stiles’ chest. Stiles swallowed hard, closing his lips around Derek’s knuckle and unconsciously dragging his tongue along the back of the finger. Swallowing his own moan, his body rolled up to meet Derek’s and he sawed faster and harder, giving up any pretense that they weren’t dry humping their way to freedom.

Stiles could feel Derek’s hips straining to press his cock against Stiles for more friction but it’s become impossible with how he’s now pretzeled under their arms and still sawing away. There’s a ripping noise as they cut through the next section and finally Derek pulled, tearing the fabric bind to free that set of arms The binding was still unraveling even as Derek growled low in his throat, reached down to cup the back of Stiles’ nape and thrust his crotch into Stiles’ face.

Stiles didn’t mind at all. He gripped Derek’s hip with his blissfully free hand, pulling him closer as Derek humped against his cheeks and nose. His lips catch on the fabric of Derek’s jeans and he’s probably going to have rug burn but he doesn’t give a single fuck. He just breathed Derek in, mouthing at the huge bulge as he dry humped Derek’s knee where it’s trapped between his thighs.

His blood was beating to the rhythm of his own racing heartbeat in Stiles’ ears and he could hear Derek grunting and whimpering when suddenly Derek arched into him, let out a low pitched whine and came. Hips stuttering and bumping against Stiles through the aftershocks. It was hot and bitter in Stiles’ nose and mouth, made his eyes burn a little but the knowledge that Derek basically just came on his face sends him over the edge and he’s coming too, fingers dug into Derek’s hip and rutting against Derek’s leg as he grunted through his own orgasm.

He’d love to have lied there, sated and content in this warm enclosed space with Derek but Derek had other ideas apparently. They’re both still panting and sweating when he sliced the other bind open like butter, shoved hard enough at the lid of the crate that it exploded outward. Stiles doesn’t even have a chance to access their damage or location before Derek is throwing the roll up door up at the back and climbing up onto the roof.

There had been no chance to talk after Derek had dragged the driver out and figured out he was only a driver and knew nothing. Then they were too busy helping all the other supernaturals that had been trapped in their own crates in the back of the truck. The box truck had been headed to Los Angeles to the harbor but there’s no info in the truck about where it was going from there. 

Stiles had shown up today, at Derek’s, ready to research the how and why and who with him but instead, Derek has decided to have a melt down apparently.

Stiles would be pissed about it but he knows Derek. He knows him really well after all these years. He’s probably blaming himself. Paige, Kate, Jennifer Blake - even Braedon who’s been a mutually agreed upon no-strings-attached booty-call - all of the people Derek has been with had ulterior motives or didn’t want an actual relationship with him.

Stiles has his work cut out for him. Because he’s pretty sure he and Derek have been slowly moving toward this since the day they met. Now, this idiot thinks he took advantage because he’s somehow unaware that Stiles’ isn’t still a sixteen year old kid. Well.

“It’s your fault.”

Derek’s face falls but he nods, “I’m sorry. If you–”

“No,” Stiles tells him, shaking his head like Derek doesn’t get it. “You said lie to me. So I did.”

“What?” But then he realizes what Stiles is doing. “No, I shouldn’t–”

“Have walked away from me afterward?” Stiles says. “Yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

“No.” Derek growls. “Stiles, I used you to…to...”

Stiles rolls his eyes and crosses the room, pushing Derek until his shoulders hit the wall, “Derek, I’m not a kid anymore. I’m a consenting adult and I consented - very enthusiastically. You’d know that if you’d stop punishing yourself.’

Crowding Derek further against the wall, Stiles lets one of his hands fall to Derek’s hip, pulling their bodies flush. The other hand is up on the wall next to Derek’s head, caging him in. It’s a callback to all the times Derek threw Stiles up against a wall or backed him into something. This time though, Stiles has the upper hand.

His nostrils flare and Derek breathes out, “Stiles, please.”

Groaning, Stiles leans in and brushes his lips against Derek’s softly because he was right, Derek begging is a thing of beauty. He wants to take him apart, soothe all the broken parts that other people left behind and then put him back together again. He wants Derek writhing and out of his mind with need just like yesterday, begging Stiles to let him come.

But he wants something else more.

“Please what?” Stiles taunts, squeezing Derek’s hips and dipping down to run his teeth along the tendon at Derek’s shoulder and neck. 

Whimpering, knees almost buckling at the touch on such a vulnerable spot, Derek keens, “Please fuck me.”

“I don’t want to fuck you,” Stiles admits and when Derek’s shoulders stiffens and he tries to pull away, Stiles presses in, clarifying, “I want to love you,” he shrugs one shoulder and adds, “and fuck you. I want both.”

Derek snorts but relaxes into Stiles’ touch, “Is that all?”

Smirking as he leans in to capture Derek’s mouth, Stiles whispers, “That’s just the beginning.”

This fic can also be found on Ao3 at Lie On My Front.

Thanks @okdeannawrites from the prompt "Lie to Me" and the challenge to write something short just for fun. I needed to shake out some writer's block and this was the perfect exercise!

[thought--bubble]

She is Happy Now Part (2/5)

Modern Aemond X (Ex Girlfriend Reader)

Warnings Below

Word Count: 2,116

She is happy now Master List

Modern Aemond Master List

Full Master List

Banners by @arcielee

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of cheating, alcohol use, dubcon, and a bit of angst.

"Is she coming?"

"I don't know. Her asshole cheater ex is going to be there so she might not"

Aemond rolls his eye and clenches his jaw.

"It's been years, Heleana. You think you could maybe stop calling me that?"

" I love you Aem, your my brother but when it comes to you and her I'm on her side. You were a major Jerk"

He groans and runs his hand down his face.

He is sitting at Heleanas breakfast bar in her kitchen. Heleana is moving around the kitchen, getting breakfast ready, and putting coffee on.

"I am aware that I'm the asshole in this story." He lets out a sigh. "I just want to see her again"

"She's happy now, you know. So, any little magical scenarios you have made up in your head where you woo her back to you can be left right there in your head. " she looked at him warningly.

He doesn't say anything and just looks down playing with his fingers.

"She has been with Cregan for a few months now. He's good for her AND good to her. Something you failed at spectacularly"

"We were good together for 4 years! I wasn't horrible the entire time! I messed up once. One time. And she never spoke to me again!"

"If Gwayne had done to me what you did to her.... how would you react?" She looks at him eyebrows raised.

Aemond sighs and puts his head down on the counter. It's pointless Heleana never let's him get away with making up excuses for how your relationship ended and he knows she's right.

He tried for months after you left his dorm to contact you. Apologize. Promise it would never happen again. It was Heleana who ended up making him realize what was done was done.

"Have you heard from her?"

"Yes." Heleana sighed into the phone

"So did you ask her to call me?"

"I did. And then she sent me a video explaining why she didn't want to."

Aemond cringed. "A video?"

"Oh yeah. Like the idiot I am, I told her to record your reaction to her surprise, saying you would be so excited. So she got your entire reunion on video. You're a real prince charming, you know? Do not ask me to contact her again on your behalf. I won't do it and neither will egg. Least you could do at this point is leave her alone."

Aemond is pulled out of his memories by Gwaynes loud. "Good morning!" And the laughter of his niece and nephew.

"Uncle Almond," jaheara yells excitedly. She is only 3 and pronounces his name almond, which Aegon finds hilarious.

"Hey peanut" he reaches down and picks her up placing a big sloppy kiss on her forehead

"Ewwww! She shrieks, wiping her forehead and trying to wiggle out of his arms.

"Everybody ready to go get Uncle Aegon married today?" Gwayne says excitedly towards the kids.

Aemond puts down jaheara and sits on his stool stewing in his own frustration. He never thought that Aegon would be happily married while he was the one alone. Miserable and full of regret.

He never meant to let it get that far with his professor. He knew she was attracted to him right away. He could tell by the way her touch lingered whenever he turned in an assignment or the way her gaze would find him during lectures. He thought flirt with her, and a good grade would be easy. What he didn't plan on was bumping into her on his way back from his first college party drunk out of his mind and having not seen his girlfriend for months. He didn't plan on her offering to help him get back to his dorm, and he didn't plan on allowing her to come in.

He sobered up immediately when he saw her standing at the door, though. The gravity of what he had just done and what was happening in that moment hit him like a freight train.

"Shit! Baby, hold on, let me explain. " Aemond could feel his desperation tightening in his chest. He fucked up, bad, and he knew it .

"Oh, ummm, nope, no thanks"

That reaction was the worst thing he could have gotten from her. No yelling, no fight to be had she was just leaving and not turning back.

He started to panic. If she left right now like this after seeing what he had done, he was afraid that would be it. He grabbed her arm "wait please just give me one second "

You turned on him like a viper pushing his arm away "do not fucking touch me, forget my name loose my number I no longer exist to you"

His chest clenched, it felt like his heart was being squeezed. he swayed on his feet, swallowing down the sickness that attempted to make its way up his throat.

You had turned and went down the hall and out through the doors that led to the stairs

"Shit shit shit! " Aemond ran back into his dorm quickly, putting his sweatpants and sneakers on. His professor was sitting on the bed, strapping her shoes on.

"You know I wouldn't have come up here with you if I knew there was a girlfriend." She looked at him angrily

"I'm sorry" was all he could get out as he ran out of his dorm down the hallway and down the stairs and right through the doors to outside. He ran down the walkway, looking both directions, but didn't see you anywhere.

"No no no no! This can't be it, no, no!" Aemond was yanking at his hair, his eye full of tears. He tries to run to the left but is not steady on his feet because of how much he drank and ends up falling on the sidewalk. He attempts to get himself up but gives up exhausted and lets out a huge loud sob.

He rolls onto his back on the cement of the walkway and just looks up at the sky while tears roll down his cheek.

"This isn't really how we end, is it?" He says to no one

"Hello! Earth to Aemond!" Aemond crashes back into the present with Heleana snapping in his face. She sighs and looks at him tenderly.

"Cmon, eat your breakfast and get ready." She taps his shoulder as she heads out of the kitchen and up the stairs to get her and the kids ready for Aegons nuptials.

He isn't able to get much down, but he takes a few bites and heads upstairs to get himself ready.

He drives to the ceremony with Heleana and Gwayne sitting in the middle of the backseat between the twins in their booster seats.

"I'm gonna marry you one day" Aemond says dreamily looking up at his ceiling.

It's summer of junior year and you are both squished onto his twin bed his arm under you holding you close.

"Oh?" You say picking your head up and looking at him.

"Isn't it obvious, darling? Can't live without ya. Marriage is a given at this point" he laughs, grabbing your chin and pulling you in for a kiss.

"Would you want to get married in the grand Sept or on the beach?"

"Anywhere as long as I'm marrying you," aemond leans in for another kiss.

"I'm serious I want to have it all planned out ahead of time!"

"Then plan it out, baby. Because no matter where it is, I'll show up to marry you"

You giggled as he rolled over on top of you kissing you with purpose

The car door slams. They have made it to the grand Sept, and it is time to get this show on the road. Aemond makes his way inside and heads to the grooms room where Aegon is bouncing around with excitement, putting on his finishing touches.

"Aemond! Smile, man! This is a joyous day!" Aegon yells at him while grabbing his arm and pulling him all the way into the room.

Aemond forces a big smile on his face for Aegon's benefit. It's not that he isn't happy for his brother, he is. He just can't help the jealousy that is flowing through him at this moment.

This could have been them. Should have been them. Would have been them if he didn't screw it all up.

When it's time for the actual ceremony to begin, everyone makes their way to their places. Aemond smiles at Ellyn as they get in line. He can feel his heart rate speed up at the thought that you might be out there. After years of being so far from you, you both might actually be in the same room at the same time.

Aemond waits impatiently for the pair ahead of them to step in front of the doorway and start to walk down the aisle. Once Criston and Maris step out and down the aisle, he and ellyn move forward and stand in the doorway. He sees you right away. You're looking down at the ground, but he could spot that little heart tattoo on the back of your neck anywhere. He has a matching one on the inside of his wrist. He's happy to see yours hasn't been covered or blacked out.

"Matching tattoos? are you daft?" Aegon laughs while looking at Aemond incredulously.

Aemond ignores him slathering on some of the aftercare products he had been told he would need to put on a few times a day.

"And what will you do when you split up? Walking around with that on your arm to remind you forever?"

Aemond laughs and continues applying the balm,"we aren't going to split up egg. This tattoo is forever, and so are we"

"You are 18 Aemond! You couldn't possibly know that you will stay together forever! You leave for university in less than a month! You really think the long-distance thing is going to work? For 4 years?"

"I know it will. Just because you don't understand commitment doesn't mean I don't, " Aemond says haughtily.

Aegon rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say. Just don't let mom see that. She's gonna kill you!"

Ellyn yanks on Aemonds arm and looks at him perplexed.

He clears his throat and starts to make his way down the aisle. Unfortunately for him, he can't really see you now because you're on his blind side. They make it up to the altar and release their arms, each moving to their assigned spot. He flicks his eye back towards you, and you're hard to see. Why did you have to sit so far back?

He pays no attention to how the ceremony continues going on around him, shaking his leg impatiently.

He hears his mother clear her throat from the front row. He looks at her, and she opens her eyes wide and waves her hand at him in a way of telling him to cut it out.

He straightens his back and stands up tall, taking in a deep breath. Focusing on Aegon and Cassandra. They are putting the rings on each other's fingers, and he feels a wave of pain roll through him.

His hands clapsed before him, he started unconsciously rubbing his wrist where the heart tattoo sits. He had no idea this was going to be this hard. His whole body is shaking with emotional overload. When finally Aegon and Cassandra kiss and then turn to their guests, raising their claspsed hands above their heads and starting to make their way back down the aisle he moves forward on shakey legs and joins his arm with Ellyns once more, walking down the aisle he keeps his eye trained on where he knows you are. Your head is turned away from him, looking at the entryway. He can see your arm is looped around the arm of the brown haired man standing next to you. How he would give anything to switch places with him. Even just for a minute. As he continues down the aisle eye trained on you, you turn your head, and it happens. Your tear filled eyes find his, and he forgets how to breathe. Those eyes he has seen filled with rage and hurt for years in his dreams are there right in front of him, filled with tears, and he thinks they have never been more beautiful.

He is forced to stop looking at you once he passes, but he knows your last conversation can't be the last interaction you ever have. No, he has one more chance to talk to you.

At the reception.

A/N: Part 3 is in the works. I have a mid-term tonight and a lot of homework this weekend, so I probably won't get it out until Monday. Thank you to anyone who reads :) ❤️

Part 3

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[crazyrav3n]

The devil's mark - Peter Steele x reader Chapter 2

beginning conflict :3

"I'm mostly sober- let me drive you home sweet thing," Peter muttered, and you couldn't help but giggle at his words. "Mostly sober." It would be fine- he had only had a little bit to drink. Your vision was- really blurry and it felt amazing. You felt amazing. You felt warm- you felt a little tingle on your cheeks, growing warm. Peter grabbed his keys and paid his tab- also paying your tab. it didn't bother you- you were too shitfaced to really care about most right now. Standing up, it felt like your legs had betrayed you. you wobbled around- creating a laugh from Peter as he wrapped an arm around the back of your waist, stabilizing you.

He put you in the passenger seat of his car, buckling your seat belt with a small giggle as he stared at you. There was very obviously- romantic tension between you two.

He clicked the keys in, and as you heard the car start and felt it begin to move you felt more slumped and tired by the second. Ugh. You would have a hangover in the morning, at least you didn't have much to do tomorrow anyway.

Closing your eyes before you felt a callused palm reach for your thigh, softly rubbing his thumb over the skin of your thigh. It tickled a little, or maybe you were just drunk. It felt comfortable- he was quite warm.

Before you knew it, you were asleep. your eyelids.. slowly blinking and fading out of vision and you... were...

gone.

.

.

(honk mimimimimimimi)

.

.

Ugh... What the fuck?

My head…

Your head horribly throbbed from the alcohol from last night, not remembering much from the night previous. Besides- a phone number written down on a note on your table. Fuck. Did I hook up with someone last night?

No.. It was- that strange guy from last night.

Peter.

.

Later- after a little sleep Y/N finally got to work with cleaning a little bit. They ate some food, nothing too bad.

“Should I text?“ The question pondered in my head. It would be nice to know if we hooked up last night- but there weren't any really signs that we did.

“Hey, this is Y/N from the bar.”

You typed the message slowly after entering the phone number into your phone, producing a sigh from you.

Was this a good idea? Meeting a random guy from the bar?

Fuck it. It had been a while since you had dick, why not try it?

.

Peter: Hi there sweet thing.

Peter: You were shitfaced last night.

Y/N: I was? I don't remember anyway.

Y/N: Did we hook up? Anything? Just for safety?

Peter: Lmao. No, I just took you back to your place. I wish.

“I wish.”

Fuck.

Peter: you interested in going to a party? I'm supposed to invite everyone I can.

And out of the impulse and head over heels you were for this man-

Y/N: Where is it at?

Peter: XXX Notarealaddress Ave. Starts at 12 Tonight

Y/N: I'll be there.

-

I mean, college is about partying, isn't it?

And drinking more for sure gets rid of a hangover.

It had been a while since you were even involved with a guy-

It was so hard to even keep up with your classes, it was insane to think about having a relationship. Maybe it would be better as hookup buddies.

It was hard to think- your brain filled up with so much fog from the pain of a headache.

Ugh.

Fuck me.

-

11:42

This was pretty late for a party- normally they started more around 8 or 9 PM.

I guess it all depends.

11:53

Loading yourself into your car, you put the keys in and gave it a start.

11:59

Your heart sinks as you scan the crowded party, out in the forest.

A great place for a party.

searching for Peter. When you finally spot him across the room, the sight makes you freeze. There he is - the famous Peter Steele - locked in a passionate kiss with a stunning woman you don't recognize. He's on top of her, tongues in each other's mouth and it almost makes you sick to your stomach to see it.

Time seems to stand still as you process the scene before you. The pulsing music and chatter of the party fade into the background. You feel a confusing mix of emotions wash over you - disappointment, jealousy, embarrassment at your own naivety. How could I think he would like me?

We- we were just friends. Nothing more.

Taking a deep breath, you try to compose yourself. You debate whether to quietly slip away unnoticed or to put on a brave face and mingle as if nothing's wrong. Just then, Peter's eyes flick open and lock with yours across the room. His expression shifts to one of surprise as he pulls away from the woman with a smile on his face- to see you.

Why are you this jealous? You guys- aren't even anything. God damn it.

Fuck him- fuck everything.

Tears well up in your eyes as the reality of the situation hits you. You shouldn't feel this way - after all, you and Peter are just friends. But the ache in your chest is undeniable. Blinking rapidly to hold back the tears, you turn and make your way through the crowd towards the exit.

People give rude glances to you as you wander off.

As you push past people, you hear a familiar voice calling your name. Footsteps approach from behind, and suddenly Peter is there, his hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong? Where are you going?" he asks, concern evident in his deep voice. It's that same stupid silky voice from before. You know you shouldn't be mad, but you can't fucking help it.

You freeze, torn between the desire to run and the need to face him. Slowly, you turn around, struggling to keep your composure.

"I... I'm fine," you manage to say, your voice wavering. "I just.. Feel sick. I'm going home.“

Peters's brow furrows.

“Did something happen- did I do something Y/N?”

The worry in his voice only makes the situation worse- more tears fall from your face.

You cant do anything besides shake your head- look away and run off back to your truck.

A sigh of relief comes over you as you get inside, starting the car before Peter can reach it and quickly drive off.

Turning the radio on, pumping up the music loudly to distract yourself… But it doesn't help. Nothing helps.

You shouldn't feel this way.

He just saw you as a friend.

[killiansprincss]

Nobody gets me like you - a CS Secret Santa gift

Merry Christmas @captainodonoghue , I am your @cssecretsanta2020 2024! It's been great getting to know you and I hope you enjoy your fic! It’s filled with sad angsty killian!

Thanks to @brucethegirl for being an incredible beta, for your intense editing on Christmas Eve night and also being there to listen to my rambles about my ideas and what would make most sense!

Summary: Emma Swan is single again for the holiday. Sick of her brother trying to set her up she enlists the help of best friend Killian Jones to be her fake boyfriend. What happens when the liens between friendship begin to blur and Emma begins questioning their relationship

Rated E for smut

Link to AO3

Emma turned 30 two months ago. She was in no rush to be married by now. So why did it bother her so much when she opened up her Instagram and saw yet another girl she went to high school with announcing her engagement, ‘Best christmas present santa ever got me’ ugh. The holidays were going to be a nightmare for cringey announcements like this.

“So I had a really great time, you uh wanna come back to mine?” Emma forgot for a second she was meant to be on a first date, this one from another app she spent far too much time on.

From his profile, he was nice, he had a good job, and nice hair. No holding a fish which was always a bonus. But he was just so, well, boring. He talked about his job non stop, something to do with either finance or consulting or business management. He worked at one of the largest firms in Manhattan as if that was meant to mean anything to her. But in the hour they’d been having drinks, he’d not asked a single thing about her or her life, and Emma doubts it’s because he knows everything about her already considering she keeps her dating profile pretty basic.

“Sorry I would but I have an early shift tomorrow. I’ll text you.” She has no intention of texting him, he’ll probably have forgotten her name by the time he gets home.

She opens her uber app once she’s outside the bar and of course there are no drivers nearby for 40 minutes. Great. As she’s about to go down the subway her phone lights up and her plans for the night change.

‘How fast can you get to O’Malleys?’

‘Give me 15 minutes. Make sure there's a martini with my name on it.

Killian. Her best friend since she was 14. The two of them both moved to the city after high school, Kilian went to NYU and is a high school history teacher, Emma tried college for a semester but dropped out, and now works in bail bonds. They’ve kept up their friendship for so long and Emma can’t imagine her life without him. Tonight was one of the many times they’d meet up after a horrible first date, they were both extremely unlucky in the romance department.

“Swan.” Emma gets to the bar in less than 15 minutes and sees Killian sitting at their usual spot with her drink waiting for her.

“So, what was wrong with her tonight? Vegan?” She guesses, “No gotta be a catfish, her profile said she was a scandinavian model but her photos were taken from some random instagram model?”

Killian smirks at her guesses. “She wasn’t…” He pauses to take a sip of his beer, “She was nice, but something was missing, I don’t know. And she was funny about my hand I guess.” Killian lost his hand a few years ago when he was in an accident with his brother, Killian was lucky to get away with just a missing hand.

“Well she’s a jackass. She might have gotten on with my date he was shallow as fuck too. I should’ve gone home and binged the rest of Love Island, given that Austin seemed only interested in talking about himself.”

Killian shakes his head, “rookie mistake, letting a beautiful girl sit there whilst you talk about yourself incessantly.”

Killian was a notorious flirt, he could get any girl he wanted. Dark hair, blue eyes and a hot accent, Emma never understood why he had such trouble with dating.

They chat about their failed dates some more, and talk about work. It was nice that she didn't need to be anyone uber successful around Killian, she could just be her normal broke self with a crappy apartment and a junk food addiction.

“So I got my invite to your brother's annual Christmas party the other day.”

Emma groans, “Don’t remind me of that please.” Emma’s older brother David was the epitome of perfect white picket fence life. He married his childhood sweetheart in an adorable backyard wedding and is sheriff of their small town. She loved her brother dearly, but hated how much his life was perfect and that he expected the same of her. Every year he throws a huge Christmas party and invites all their friends and family, which is a large percentage of their small town. But every year except one she has turned up single, and her brother would ask why and try and set her up which she always turns down.

“At least you still have a brother.” Killian mumbles under his breath. Killian had never really been the same since the accident, they’d had a huge fight with their alcoholic father and the roads were icy. Liam shouldn’t have been driving, he was in no state to drive and unfortunately they got hit.

“Well if you need me to help you fight your dad, I can do that.” Emma offers with a smile, she saw first hand how broken Killian was when Liam died. Liam practically raised Killian with their dad being an alcoholic who resented Killian, Liam was the perfect son and for some reason when their father would get drunk, he’d take his anger out on Killian.

“Thanks Swan, but I don’t know if I’m going to come this year.” Christmas was hard for Killian, especially given Liam died on Christmas Eve.

“No. Killian you have to come.” She grabs his arm and gives him her best puppy dog eyes. “I can’t survive the holidays alone with my brother trying to set me up.” Emma pauses for a second debating if she should share her sudden thought.

Unfortunately Kilian could read her like an open book, “Swan. I know that look.”

‘Hear me out.” She says and Killian groans at whatever this new idea was. “You be my fake boyfriend for the holidays. Think about it, it means my brother won’t be setting me up with anyone, and people will leave you alone and not ask you the dreaded ‘how are you feeling’ questions because you’re obviously happily moved on with your girlfriend.”

“Swan, you’re a bloody lunatic.”

“It’s only until New Years. It can work in both our favour. Think about it.” Emma had a way about her that made it so difficult for Killian to say no to her.

“I’ll think about it.” He promises and Emma smiles knowing she’d won.

____________

Emma’s in her apartment a couple days later, she’s just finished work and has changed into her comfiest pair of sweatpants that may or may not have a stain on them from when she was eating Chinese food last week. It’s been a long day and she was in no mood for drinks after work. She’s about to open up doordash when she hears a knock on her door.

She opens the door to find Killian on the other side, a massive box of pizza. “I’ll do it. I’ll be your fake boyfriend.”

Emma smiles brightly as she takes the pizza from his hands. She knew he would do this for her.

“We need some ground rules.” Killian tells her.

“I agree. We also need a story of how this happened. I’m thinking we ran into each other after we both had a bad first date, got talking and drinking and one thing led to another-“

Killian interrupts before she says any more “I’m gonna stop you there Swan. I’m not letting your brother believe I got you drunk and slept with you to trick you into going out with me. He’ll come for my head.”

Emma rolls her eyes, taking a sip of wine as Killian continues. “How about we simply decided we hated being single and went on a date and realised we’d been missing out by just being friends all these years.”

“You’re brilliant and I hate it.” She says. Her stubbornness couldn’t fault his idea. Her phone rings and she realises it’s her brother facetiming her. “Speak of the devil, now’s your chance to fake it, Jones.”

“Hey Emma, how’s my baby sister?” David says as she answers, she hated that he called her that.

“Your little sister is doing just fine.” She corrects, “I have food.” She holds up her slice of pizza. Her brother was a bit of a health nut, he and his wife were trying and failing to get pregnant so they were both trying all the remedies under the sun.

“Pizza? Really? I knew living in New York was rotting your brain.” He teases.

“Hey don’t blame Emma, mate.” Killian says from beside her and he pulls Emma’s phone to face him, “I’m the enabler. She’s had a shitty week at work and pizza is a comfort food, it’s healthy when you think about it.” For whatever reason her brother always liked Killian, saying he was a good influence on her.

“Killian! How are you man? Keeping my baby sister out of trouble?” It’s not unusual for Killian to be at her apartment, or for her to be as his, so David doesn’t question it at first. They catch up for a while, Killian tells David about his job and the kids he teaches, David’s wife is an elementary school teacher so they chat about the holidays and how some kids are off the rails this time of year.

“Is there any way I can convince you to come back for the holidays?” David asks and suddenly Emma is ready to spring back into action.

“Already convinced him. We’re coming home so you can expect a great Christmas Eve Party.” Emma snatches her phone back and puts her head on Killians shoulder for effect.

David doesn’t realise the implication at first and starts going on about how great it’ll be to see Killian again and how he can prepare the other guest bedroom. “No mate, Emma and I are together, so we’re coming together to your place.”

David is slow once again, “I heard. It’ll be so great. Oh Emma, I know you say you don’t want to but there’s this teacher Mary Margaret works with and he seems like a really great guy.”

“No. David, Killian and I are together, so we’ll be coming together.” She says once more.

“I heard you. I think it’s great you’re both coming.”

“Mate, she’s my girlfriend is what we’re trying to say.” Killian eventually interrupts, putting them both out of their misery.

“You’re serious? This isn’t a prank?” Her brother asks.

They both shake their heads, “I wouldn’t joke about dating your sister, mate.

Emma is worried about what he’s going to say, but eventually he’s gushing with happiness, “I’m so happy. I always thought you two would be so great together, but it never happened and I’d given up hope.”

Emma wasn’t shocked by his reaction. He would always pester her about why she and Killian were never together during high school, and when they went off to college together the pestering questions began again. Part of her wondered if this was a mistake. If her brother was so invested in their relationship, what would happen once they broke it off in the new year?

_________

Their flight from JFK into Maine gets them in at just after 3pm, they’d spent the hour flight going over ground rules on their relationship.

PDA - Emma was never a huge engager in PDA but they would also get suspicious if they barely touched one another. So small cheek or forehead kisses were okay. They weren’t horny teenagers.

No need to share a bed. Emma was always hosted in the large guest room, it was her room until she moved out and David would never dream of anyone else sleeping there when Emma was in town. In the room was a sofa by the window, they would alternate who gets the bed and who gets the sofa each night.

Keep the relationship casual. They haven’t been dating for too long so they don’t have plans to move in, get engaged or have kids. They’re having fun being together and that’s all it needs to be.

“You need to put your arm around me.” Emma whispers just as they’re about to go through the arrivals gate. “We need to look like a couple or else he’ll see right through the lie.”

Kilian wraps his arm around her waist and uses his free hand to carry both their suitcases as a good boyfriend would and Emma looks at her fake boyfriend with a smile. They had to get this right.

They walk through the gate like this, smiling at one another so they don’t even see David at first.

“Emma, how is my baby sister?” He asks, wrapping her a hug , “Killian, I’m glad you decided to come.”

“Hey mate, thanks for the invite. I couldn’t really say no to this one.” He says wrapping his arm around Emma once again.

“So, how long has this been going on? And why is now the first I’m hearing about it?” David asks as they walk out towards the car.

Emma glances a look at her fake boyfriend, he’s taken the bait. “It’s still kinda new. I thought you’d be happy. You keep asking me when I’m gonna meet someone and you like Killian.” She tries to keep it casual, she doesn’t want to make out like Kilian is the love of her life and break her family's hearts when she tells them they broke up.

“I am happy Emma. I’m thrilled actually! You two together, gosh it’s perfect. Mary Margaret was so excited when I told her.” Part of her wanted to believe her brother was happy about this relationship because she’d found someone, but part of her knew it was because it was Killian.

The drive from the airport to Storybrooke takes just over an hour, David asks questions about their new relationship, but he seems happy with the few details they provide. His main concerns are with Emma and how her job is going, if she’s eating well and her rent, he’d always been her big brother but a lot of the time he acted like a father. But Emma didn’t really mind. Soon enough they’re parked up in front of the house that Emma first felt at home in.

Walking through the doors into the familiar scent of Mary Margaret's cinnamon cookies baking in the oven, she’s reminded of the first day she walked through these halls, 14 years old, gangly and skinny with greasy hair and hungry. She’d never had a home that lasted more than a few months so as much as she wanted it to feel like home, she wasn’t going to get her hopes up. But then a few weeks turned into months and months into years and she was adopted when she turned 16. But Ruth and David loved her from the moment she turned up and she owed everything to them.

“Emma! There you are, come here I missed you” a voice from the kitchen says and out walks Mary Margaret with her pixie cut and warm heart that would make anyone feel calm. Mary Margaret and David were childhood sweethearts, so when Emma was around so was she. She was like a big sister, teaching her how to do makeup and helping braid her hair and was also a listening ear when she got a crush on a guy in her class, and then when Ruth got sick, she became like a mother.

“I missed you too.” Emma says as she hugs her, and she means it. This small town she grew up in was always going to be home.

Mary Margaret’s eyes land on Killian and she gives him a soft smile, her own mother died on Christmas when she was only 7, so she understands how difficult the holidays are for him. “I hear you’re joining our family at last.”

Killian looks like a deer in headlights, “I- uh- It’s still new with Emma. It’s not like I’ve proposed marriage.” He stumbles, “Not that marrying Emma would be a bad thing, she’s a great girl and I care about her.” He was struggling and Emma kind of enjoyed watching him suffer.

“I’m just teasing you, don't worry.” Mary Margaret says as her husband comes in the door. “You’re always welcome here and always a part of the family, whether you’re dating Emma or not. This one has a special knack for picking up strays.” She puts her hand on her husband’s chest, it was obvious to anyone the two were in love, had been since they were kids. Mary Margaret spent most of her time at David’s, especially when her father married a 20 something year old after her mother’s death.

Mary Margaret shows them to the guest room. Emma knew the two had been renovating the house and getting brand new furniture but what she wasn’t expecting was instead of the usual sofa by the window, there were now two armchairs and a bookshelf. The large queen sized bed in the middle of the room looked a lot smaller, too.

“I thought you said there was a sofa.” Killian says once Mary Margaret had left the room.

Emma sighs, “they’ve been redecorating. Guess they decided a sofa was unnecessary.” Rule 2. Damn it.

“I’ll take the floor.” Killian says.

“Absolutely not. It’s a big enough bed.” She tells him trying to convince herself more than him. “We just stick to our sides. No reason for it to get messy.”

—

Killian takes a shower first, leaving Emma to unpack and get her head screwed on. Dinner was just going to be the family, so it wasn’t going to be a huge event like the Christmas Eve party. It would just be the four of them and the grilling over their relationship would begin. She could handle it, they would work together.

“Sorry love, but do you know if there's a spare toothbrush anywhere? I thought I’d packed mine but it seems I forgot.” She turns around to tell Killian to check the drawer under the sink and is left speechless at the sight of Killian in just his towel, bare chest on show and the towel wrapped around his waist.

She’d seen Killian shirtless before, they’d been to the beach and she’d seen him running a few times with no shirt but something about this was different. His hair was still wet from the shower and she was very aware how naked he was under the towel, one wrong move and it could easily fall off and Emma’s mind wandered to what was underneath. She knew he was an attractive man, you’d be blind not to notice that, but he’d always been Killian-her best friend who had braces when she first met him and who had acne until he was out of his teens. He wasn’t meant to be, well, hot.

“Earth to Emma.” He says waving a hand in front of her face, hopefully unaware of where her mind was headed.

She managed to snap herself out of it, “right. Sorry, uh-bottom right cabinet under the sink.”

It was going to be a long week.

_____

Dinner was just the four of them at the house. It’s not a big deal, they’ve had dinner with her brother and sister-in-law many times over the years as friends. Except this time Killian presses a kiss to her cheek as they sit down and he pours her a glass of wine without her even asking. As far as fake boyfriends go he was pretty good.

“So how did you finally wear my sister down?” David asks, this conversation was inevitable, but they were prepared.

Killian smiles as he takes the lead, “Emma’s been my best friend for years and I don’t know what I’d do without her in my life. I mean I hope she thinks the same of me. I don’t think I’m ready to settle down just yet, but I’m so sick of dating apps, the girl seems nice but then I never hear from her again or I get stood up. I think Emma felt the same. So we went out on a practice date I guess to see how it went, and it wasn’t weird, it didn’t feel wrong, it felt like we were late to the game in just dating each other.”

Leaning into her role Emma adds, “He’s Killian. I’ve been on a ton of awful dates lately, but I know where I am with Killian.”

“It reminds me of when me and David started going out. Granted we were 14 and had no idea what we were doing. But being best friends with the person you spend your life with is the best thing.”

“We’re not getting married, this is still new. Don’t freak us out.” Emma scoffs, really hating how much they we loving this conversation.

“Maybe not. But we might be sitting here in a few years with a different situation.” Emma can only roll her eyes, this was a bad idea.

___

“I’m sorry about them. If I had known they’d be so excited about the thought of us together I would never have suggested it.” She says to Killian once they’re back in their room for the night.

“It’s fine, Swan. We make a good team, you and I. It's no wonder they love the idea of us together. Now are you sure about sharing as I can happily take the floor?”

It’s not that sharing a bed with Killian would be a bad thing, it’s that she’s not shared a bed with anyone when sex wasn’t involved. Even with Graham they were dating for about a year but she never just slept over in his bed. She’d done one night stands but she’d never woken up the next morning, she would get out there as soon as she was done. Sex wasn’t intimate, but sharing a bed, that was about as intimate as she could get. “It was my idea for you to be my fake boyfriend, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.”

That night they go to sleep on their assigned sides and Emma sleeps well knowing their plan was working, her family believed their relationship and they just had to get through the next week. It was going to be fine.

Except it isn’t fine. When she wakes up Emma is aware of being warm, and becomes aware of two things:

Emma had managed to get herself entangled in Killians hold during the night, she was aware of his arm draped across her pulling her in close, so close she could feel his hot breath on the back of her neck

He was hard….

This was bad. Very bad

It was a natural reaction, it was just likely that Killian hadn’t gotten any action recently and his body just became familiar to a female body nearby, it didn’t mean anything, Killian wasn’t hard because of her.

Emma shifts herself slowly, not wanting to wake Killian. She just needed to move his arm from around her. She stops for a moment when she hears a soft grunt. “Mma.” Thinking nothing of it, she manages to move his arm and shift herself so she’s now facing him rather than being spooned by him and pretends to be asleep.

But that’s when the muttering begins again, “Emma.” It’s clear as day this time. He was dreaming about her, and he was hard. This was fine, again maybe he wasn’t having a sex dream maybe it was a perfectly normal, pretty platonic dream about her fighting an ogre or something.

She’s aware of Killian waking up but she keeps her eyes closed and pretends she’s still asleep just to avoid any awkwardness when he realises his situation. But then she feels his hand on her face and is aware of him pushing a piece of hair aside before she feels the bed dip where he’s gotten out. It was a strange thing to do but she doesn’t question it as he walks into the bathroom and she hears the shower.

Her mind is betraying her as she thinks about the past 5 minutes. Killian, her best friend and fake boyfriend woke up hard, was saying her name in his sleep and now the shower was on and there was a high chance he was letting off steam in the shower. Was he thinking about her when he rubbed his dick? Was he imagining it was her hand instead of his own? Did that get him off, thinking about her?

No. She shouldn’t be thinking like that. He was Killian, her best friend. She didn’t think about him like that, and he didn’t think of her like that. Unless he did and then Emma was royally screwed.

Breakfast is fine, maybe Emma is a little skittish when Killian hands her a mug of coffee and a bear claw but she claims she didn’t sleep well and he doesn’t question it. She needed to get laid in the new year, that was all it was.

The two are tasked with setting up the barn for the party tomorrow. David and Mary Margaret don’t have any animals, they always say it’s their long term plan, so for now they use the barn for parties such as this. So the flooring is fine, they just have to pick up some space heaters and finish up the decorations.

“I’ll go pick up the heaters, they’re at Granny’s and I want to catch up with Ruby so we’ll meet back here in an hour?” Emma suggests, she knows Killian would want to be alone and spend time at Liam’s grave since there won’t be much time tomorrow on the actual anniversary.

Granny’s diner was run by an old lady who somehow defies aging, it had the small town charm that a chain didn’t have and she missed it when she was in the city. Her granddaughter Ruby was one of Emma's closest friends when they were both in high school, Emma keeps in touch but it's never the same as seeing her in person.

“Emma Swan, you come home for Christmas and you don’t think to tell your best friend about your boyfriend?” Ruby was always one for dramatics.

She pulls her friend into a hug, “Hello to you too, Rubes. And I’ve been here less than 24 hours. How does everyone know about my relationship?” If it were a real relationship, Ruby would be one of the first people to know.

Ruby rolls her eyes, “You’ve become too accustomed to city life, you forget how fast news travels in a small town.”

“I was going to tell you, but then it all happened so fast and-“ she stops as she notices her friend couldn’t stop smiling. “Why are you smiling?”

“I’m happy for you Emma. I just can’t believe it's taken you this long to figure shit out with Killian. What happened that made you finally realise what you’d been missing?’

“This is why I didn’t want people knowing, my brother keeps acting like we’re going to get married. It's still new, I don’t know if it's because I didn’t tell my brother the truth that we actually got drunk and slept together and he was like really good in bed, like so good. We decided to test dating rather than an awkward friends-with-benefits situation. I don’t know what's going to happen to us in the future, but for now it's fun and not too serious.” Emma’s story was getting a little out of hand, but since this morning she had tried to stop thinking about Killians hard dick and how good it would feel inside her. She’d never given much thought to having sex with him until this morning.

“You and Killian are the opposite of fun and not too serious. He’s been in love with you since your first day here. He’s not going to run away unless you-”

“What do you mean? He hasn’t been in love with me since he was 15. That’s crap.” He wasn’t in love with her, she was determined.

“Killian was applying for Ivy Leagues, he probably got offers from Yale and Harvard, but he chose NYU because that’s where you wanted to go.”

“He told me NYU had a better history programme.” She remembers their conversation, she knew he was applying for a ton of schools and knew he was good enough to get into an Ivy League-but Killian was never about getting into the best school he just wanted to get away from his dad. “He’s not in love with me, he would’ve told me.”

Would he have told her though? They never seemed to be single at the same time. When Emma was 16 she started hanging around Neal, he was older and he seemed so cool to a foster kid who was used to stealing food to survive. He had his own studio apartment just outside of town and he always wore fancy clothes and bought Emma expensive gifts. He made her feel special, that was until he got caught stealing watches from a department store. Then when she was single during her first semester in college, that's when Killian got involved with his TA, she was older than him and Emma’s pretty sure she was married but she knew he was going through a pretty dark time in his life so she was not one to judge.

Then Emma started dating Graham, he was an NYPD cop she met doing bail bonds and for the next few years Killian was at college working on his degree, so they didn’t interact much. Their friendship took a back seat when they weren’t around one another every day or living 5 minutes from another. Emma was in a shitty studio apartment in Queens whereas Killian’s NYU residences were in Manhattan. Graham was nice but it just didn’t work out and when Emma got promoted and earned enough money to move to a nice one bed apartment in Brooklyn, Killian was burnt out after almost 5 years of studying and moved back to Storybrooke. That didn’t last long as he turned up at her apartment one night with a black eye and Emma didn’t have to ask who did that to him.

Their friendship could’ve easily taken a turn for something else that night, but it didn’t. Killian just broke down about losing Liam and how his father can’t stand the sight of him. That’s when Emma opened up about feeling alone and unloved until she was adopted and she finally had a family. They both had had a lot to drink but nothing happened, they fell asleep on the couch. So if it were going to happen, if Killian was going to admit how he felt surely it would be when he was pouring his heart out to her, right?

“For what it's worth, whether you believe he's in love with you or not, I think he’s good for you. You bring out the best in him, and he brings it out of you. Don’t scare him off, let him in.”

Ruby’s words are ringing in her head. Killian had been rock solid in her life. He was a constant reminder that people you cared about wouldn’t leave. Before she was adopted, she was in a foster family she thought really cared about her, they would talk about the trips they were taking, how the mom was going to the mall to get new clothes, but then the minute the social worker left Emma realised how wrong she was. She was used to people lying, leaving and she learnt to not get her hopes up or be excited about things, It took nearly a year for Ruth and David to finally break the walls she had up. Killian was the nerdy guy with braces who sat with her in math class and helped her find her way around the school, he sat with her at lunch and introduced her to Ruby.

Killian was her best friend. He was always there for her when she needed him. She broke up with Graham and then Killian would arrive with pizza in hand to cheer her up. She’d never really thought of him in a romantic or sexual setting before today. David and Mary Margaret were the prime example of marrying your best friend, so maybe being with Killian wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. She couldn’t stop thinking if Ruby was right and if he really was in love with her.

_____

David lent her his truck to pick up the heaters and the last of the decorations, when she parks in front of the barn she hears the radio station Killian always has on playing from the barn. She hears him singing along to the christmas song currently playing as a smile tugs at her lips.

“Nice singing, Jones.”

He stops in his tracks and his face turns red as he turns towards her. “Swan. Don’t sneak up on a man.”

The barn was partly converted from David and Mary Margaret’s wedding a few years back and a couple other people in town had since hired it out for their own wedding. Fairy lights hung from the ceiling down to the warm wooden floors which were decked with a gorgeous red carpet and tables along the back of the barn were dressed with red and green tablecloths and two large nutcrackers adorned the entryway. It looked like a winter wonderland already and Emma knew this was all her sister-in-law’s doing.

“Ruby says hi.” She says as she puts the heaters down, trying not to keep her friend's words in her head too much. “I assume Mary-Margaret left a very detailed list, so where do you want me?”

Killian holds up a list, a knowing smirk cursing his lips, of course there was a list. “She has left us in charge of the finishing touches. Add Red and Gold baubles to the tree, candy canes in the flower arrangements on every table, blankets on the porch. And my personal favourite.” He holds up a familiar looking berry flower. “mistletoe above the entryway.”

Emma rolls her eyes at her sister-in-law's ultra detailed list, she did not like leaving anything to chance. And she bets the mistletoe was David's idea before he knew about her and Killian, likely planning to trap her in an awkward situation with that teacher he’d mentioned. “You better stay away from me waving that in front of me.”

She expects Killian to put it back in the box, but instead he moves a few paces in front of her, “What will you do Swan? You know there’s a saying that if you refuse a kiss under the mistletoe you’ll be cursed to have no marriage proposals.” He was toeing a very dangerous line here and Emma knew she could easily walk away and he wouldn’t push her, but part of her was curious to see how far he was willing to go. There was nobody around except the two of them to force it.If she kissed him, it would be her decision alone.

“Who says I want a marriage proposal?” She was toying with him, she wanted to see if he was going to do what she thought.

He waves the leaves above his head and whispers, “It’s bad luck, Swan. You don’t want to be cursed.” And he leans in ever so slightly, waiting for her to make a move.

Her mind was racing. Killian was a flirt, he always was, and Emma always thought it was just in his nature, but with Ruby’s words still ringing in her head she was curious. Was this constant flirting a game or was he trying to make a move? Her mind wanders back to \ last night, seeing him dripping wet from the shower and then this morning. Was he a good kisser? What would happen if she did kiss him?

“I don’t want to be cursed.” She decides to hell with it and leans in closer, closing the gap and all of sudden her lips are on his.

She was kissing Killian. Killian, her best friend. Her fake boyfriend for the holidays. It shouldn’t feel this good. His lips are soft and she can taste the rum from the flask she knows he would’ve been drinking from at his brother's grave. His tongue is in her mouth and of course he’s a good kisser. She doesn’t know why she never thought about it before, and she can’t help but let out a moan at the way it felt.

They break away for a second, and look at one another, both understanding this was more than just a mistletoe kiss. This was wrong, everything in her knows this was wrong but she can’t help it. Killian drops the mistletoe and his mouth is on hers once again. Emma was a sensible girl 90% of the time but his lips tasted like danger and she was ready to let herself go to the dark side. His hand tangles in her hair and she can’t deny how good it feels.

They were well beyond the line of two friends pretending to date but while she was lost in the taste of his lips she couldn’t care. Hearing the way he moaned when her tongue explored his mouth, it was the hottest thing she’d ever known.

“Ahem.” They break apart at the sound of her brother's voice. “Mary Margaret sent me to see how you were doing, I think she’s stressed it’s not going to fit her vision.” Her brother was as red in the face as they were.They’d been caught making out like a bunch of teenagers and she was 30 years old for god's sake.

“Right, the tree needs the star. It's your party you should do the honours.” She backs away from Killian and doesn’t look him in the eye as she helps her brother with the finishing touches. They barely look at one another for the rest of the afternoon, and Killian resigns himself to looking over the table coverings.

They don’t bother to explain the mistletoe to David; it was clear they were having some alone time, who knows how it would have escalated. It should’ve been wrong, it was crossing a line. They had rules, clear rules about how to get through the holidays and Emma had broken them by kissing him. But she can’t deny how good it felt to kiss him and how she badly wants to do it again.

_____

Emma was on fire the entire afternoon. She couldn’t stop thinking about the taste of his lips and the way his body moved against hers. It was exciting and thrilling and Emma so desperately wanted to do it again. But she couldn’t. This was Killian, her best friend. She couldn’t face him without going bright red in the face.

She shoots Ruby a text seeing if she was free for a girls’ night. She needed to vent and Ruby owed Emma for the many times she had vented to her back in high school. Thankfully her friend is free so she shoots Killian a text so he doesn’t worry.

“I kissed him. It was meant to be a mistletoe kiss, something light hearted and unserious but god Killian knows how to kiss. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, which is wrong because this was all meant to be fake.” She says when she shows up at Ruby’s apartment with a takeout bag and wine in hand.

Ruby rightfully looks at Emma like she doesn’t have her head screwed on, “slow down. You kissed Killian, as in your boyfriend?”

Emma pours the two of them a glass of wine as she explains everything, from the decision to fake date for the holidays to how he woke up this morning leading to the kiss and finally how her head had been spiraling ever since Ruby said he’d been in love with her since high school.

Ruby takes another sip of wine as she tries to get her head around the story. “So he agreed to fake date you, with no promise of anything?”

Emma nods. “He took a day to mull it over but yeah he didn’t argue much.”

The brunette takes another swig of wine as she digests and collects her thoughts. “Emma, when you meet up with Killian in the city, what sort of things do you get up to?”

“I’m confused. What does this have to do with my feelings?” Emma asks, not sure where her friend was going with this.

“Just stick with me. What do you guys do?”

“Uh, we go out for drinks. We talk about our bad dating experiences. We go to the gym together sometimes or he’ll bring takeout to my apartment and we’ll watch a movie together.”

Ruby nods her head with a smile, clearly what Emma was saying was going along with the batshit theory in her head, “your ex. What did you guys do together? The cop-Graham, not that douchebag Neal.”

Still not sure where this was going Emma tells her, “We’d have dinner together, he’d come to my apartment or I’d go to his and watch a movie.” Slowly Emma understood where her friend was coming from. “Oh my god. Have I been dating Killian all these years?”

It all made sense. With the whole “Killian being in love with her all this time” it made sense why he spent so much time with her. But why not be honest with her? She knew feelings could complicate things but they told each other everything. “Was I that dumb this whole time?”

“That’s a question you gotta ask him.”

_____

It’s late when she gets back to the farmhouse. She doesn’t expect him to still be awake but he’s there on the armchair reading.

“Hey, how was Ruby?”

There are a million thoughts swirling around in her head, this was why she came back late, hoping she wouldn’t have to face him.

“She's Ruby. Terrible taste in relationships. She’s pretty sure the girl she’s been dating has been cheating on her.” The lie slips out easily, Ruby was known for having terrible relationships so Killian wouldn’t get suspicious. “How was your evening?”

“I had a run in with Brennan.” Killian had stopped referring to him as his father shortly after Liam died, and he went no contact with the older man.

“What happened?” Emma knew nothing good usually came from Killian talking to his father. He was a no-good drunk and blamed Killian for Liam's death.

“It was actually a good thing. I confronted him.” Killian looked very proud of himself, “I’d bottled up everything I felt for the man all these years. Even when Liam was alive I never felt like I was good enough, I pushed myself to work hard in school to get even a smidge of his attention and he never gave a damn. Liam was his perfect son, and in his eyes I killed him. He doesn’t even care that I lost my brother, he lost his son and that’s all he cares about. He didn’t bother to ask how I’m getting on with only having one hand because he doesn’t care. I don’t exist to him anymore. It used to bother me, but I realise I don’t care. Family isn’t about blood. You, Emma, more than anyone knows that. He doesn’t exist to me anymore and I’m okay with that.”

“I know Liam would be so proud of you.” Emma tells him, grabbing his hand and smiling wide. “And you’re right. Family isn’t about blood, but you’ve got David and Mary Margaret. And you have me.”

She loved him, she loved him as a friend and if she let herself she could probably fall in love with him. She just didn’t know if opening her heart would make it worse. Killian was fragile, he’d lost his brother way too young and what if they decided to date for real, and then it didn’t work out. Could they go back to being just friends after? She knew he didn’t have any friends or people he could rely on aside from her.

_____

The next morning Emma wakes up before Killian does, sunlight not yet setting in from the curtains. It was warm considering it was December. She notices the clock next to the bed says it’s just after 6am, and she was also aware of Killian’s warm body wrapped around her, it felt nice to bask in it for a few moments. She didn’t feel his hardness against her back this morning which saved her from another awkward moment, but his legs were intertwined with hers. She felt safe with Killian. She didn’t know what was going to happen after the holidays but for now she let herself fall back asleep wrapped in his arms.

When she wakes a couple hours later it’s 8.30am and Killian isn’t next to her, so she’s forced to get out of the warm bed and go downstairs alone for breakfast.

“Happy Christmas Eve!” Mary Margaret practically pounces on her when she walks down the stairs to the breakfast nook. It’s beautiful, what they’d done with the house. A fresh lick of white paint made the small wooden kitchen feel homey and large. It was the perfect family home and Emma knew any child with them as parents would be the luckiest child in the world.

Her sister-in-law explains the plan for the day. They had a few more decorations to be added to the barn, like the fake snow David was most excited for and of course the presents for the tree because he was one of those people who loved gift giving and spending far too much time and money getting the perfect gift for everyone.

Her first Christmas with David and Ruth she had been so afraid. She’d done Christmas before with a foster family and they’d spent so much of their time and money on their own kids, she was practically forgotten about. But Christmas morning, David woke Emma up with a stocking from ‘Santa’ and they went downstairs to open it up where Ruth was making eggs and toast. It was perfect. They made her feel so included and loved.

Every year after that David would give Emma a perfect gift, the first year after they adopted her it was a framed picture of the two of them with a cute saying about the love between a brother and a sister, it made Emma cry. He’d always make the extra effort so she felt included and she loved him for it.

____

Everything was in place for the party tonight, the barn looked exactly like the Pinterest board Mary Margaret was using as inspiration. She was actually excited for once.

She had come back to the house early to get ready for tonight, but there was just the small problem that she hadn’t stopped thinking about Killian and the things Ruby had said. When she woke this morning Killian’s hardness was not rubbing against her, but part of her wishes it was. He was driving her insane. She had never been this obsessed over a guy before. What was it about his blue eyes, and his accent, and the way he was a nice guy that did things to her.

Emma’s dress is a deep red colour, it was the perfect cut, showing just enough cleavage and her makeup is smoky, with a red lip to match. There was an issue though that she couldn’t do it up herself so she puts on her brave face and texts him.

‘Need help with my dress, please assist.’

She hears a knock not two minutes later and sees his head around the door, so she gestures for him to come in. He was dressed in his suit, all ready for tonight and Emma hated to admit it, but he looked hot.

“I can’t zip myself up.” She explains turning her back to him, holding the dress in place.

“A woman usually calls me to unzip her dress, not the other way round.” He says and she doesn’t need to see his face to know he was smirking. But still he manages to zip her up all the way, his hand lingering on the top of her back. She doesn’t move, as she feels the intensity of his hand lingering and suddenly becomes undone as he presses a kiss to her neck. She releases a groan.

At the sound of that he grabs her arm and pulls her around to face him and she takes the sudden opportunity to grab his face, bringing it towards her own and they waste no time in crashing lips together the way they had done before. His lips tasted of whiskey and sugar and it was the sweetest thing she’d ever tasted. It wasn’t long before his lips moved from hers to her neck, placing a kiss down the column of her neck causing her to arch her back.

“Minx.” He whispers in her ear and she can’t help the noise that comes out of her mouth.

She needs him more than she’s ever needed or wanted someone before. Her head was a minefield of feelings, she didn’t know what to think. But she knew this couldn’t go too far before they had a chance to actually speak. It takes everything in her to pull away from his kiss for more than a second.

“Killian.” She was trying to catch her breath, trying to sort her scrambled brain together. “We can’t. We have the party.” He was still kissing her neck and it would be so easy to say fuck the party and give in her to devilish desires to fuck him senselessly but no, David and Mary Margaret were expecting them and they’d worked so hard.

“Screw the party.” He says as he captures her lips again, and again she groans as she has to pull away for good.

“Easy tiger. Plenty of time for this later.” And she plans on revisiting this before the night is through.

The glint in his eyes is unlike anything she’d seen before, “you mean that?”

Emma kisses him again, “Definitely.”

___

David’s annual Christmas Eve party was a new tradition. It started after Ruth died. David had inherited the house and the barn and had no clue what to do with it, so he did what he did best and that was spend time with friends and family. And thus the annual Nolan Christmas Eve party was born. Given that everyone in this small town rarely left the small town, the guest list remained the same each year.

Practically everyone David went to high school with attended the party, he was well loved and as Sheriff of the town he was well respected. Mary Margaret was a 2nd grade teacher so she had parents of her kids come and celebrate. Even Snow's father and his wife would be in attendance as Snow didn’t like to cause a feud on Christmas.

It was a good excuse for people to get together, drink lots of alcohol and eat good food, especially as Ruby’s grandmother Granny was catering. At what must be almost 90 she was still a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen.

The barn looked beautiful, it was covered in fake snow and the eaves were covered in wreaths while flecks of gold and red shone through. Two large nutcrackers guarded the entryway where mistletoe hung to catch some unlucky couples and in the corner there was a large Christmas tree with presents that, knowing her brother, weren’t all fake. It was beautiful, there was no other way to describe it.

“This is incredible.” She says as she and Killian walk through the doors and she sees people in the midst of conversations.

Killian nodded in agreement. “Your brother knows how to throw a good party, I’ll give him that. Though nothing can beat the homecoming after party we had when he was out of town.”

Emma smiles at the memory. It was her first party where she felt free from Neal, she let herself have fun and yeah maybe she got too drunk for a 17 year old, but she had fun. She and Ruby belted their hearts out at karaoke and Killian was there holding her hair when she threw up in the bushes. It was right before Liam died so Liam picked Emma up with Killian who was in no fit state to drive either, he gave them water and made grilled cheese to help sober them both up before they went to sleep. She woke up the next morning with a mild hangover and Liam never said anything to David.

The two mingle for a while, catching up with school friends they’d not seen in a while. The handful of classmates who managed to get away from this town were also back from their respective cities, Boston or even as far as LA. It was nice to have an excuse to actually talk to people about their lives, instead of just stalking their social media pages.

“David and I would like to propose a toast.” Mary Margaret holds out her flute and raises it in the air towards their guests. “To friends, family. Friends who have become family,” she looks to where Emma and Killian are standing, “And most importantly, to the new family member who will be here next Christmas.” She holds a hand to her belly and everyone erupts. Emma has tears in her eyes at the thought of her brother becoming a father.

“I’m so happy for you both. I can’t believe you’re going to have a baby.” She hugs her brother, the tears still flowing.

“I hope you know this doesn’t mean we’re forgetting about you. You’ll always be my baby sister.” He holds the back of her head, the way he always used to when she was younger.

“I know you’re going to be a great father, you were an amazing big brother to me and this baby is so lucky.”

Her brother smiles widely at her, “You deserve happiness too, Emma. I’m glad you’ve opened your heart to Killian, I know it hasn’t been easy. But you’re surrounded by love.” She knows her brother is slightly drunk, he definitely needed that liquid courage for his announcement. “Killian has been pining for you for years, I don’t know what he said or did to make you take the plunge and go out with him, but I’m glad it worked. I’ve never seen you this happy, and you deserve this.”

Yeah, She needed to chat with Killian.

She finds him brooding in the corner nursing what she assumes is a rum and coke and his eyes light up when he sees her. “Congratulations on the niece or nephew, Swan. I gather your brother is excited?”

“Oh he’s excited for now but I know he’s going to be shitting himself in a month or two.” She laughs. David and Mary Margaret were going to be natural parents, but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to panic like crazy.

Things with Killian were just so easy. He knew exactly what to say, and she felt comfortable around him. She didn’t need to put on an act or pretend to be interested in something she really wasn’t. It’s one of the reasons why she and Graham broke up, he was really interested in politics and the justice system, and Emma felt like every date she had to research something to impress him and be prepared if he suddenly started complaining about a judge’s ruling. With Killian he didn’t care that she was clueless when it came to history, she knew enough and he was okay with that, she also didn’t mind when he would spend 20 minutes talking about the Romans and mythology, she would listen because he made it interesting. She knew he was a great teacher because of it.

“We need to talk.” she tells him, as fun as it was making out, she needed clarity. She didn’t want to be the one to break his heart.

They head outside to the back of the barn which had been the dedicated smoking area, with outdoor heaters and picnic benches.

“Are you in love with me?” She blurts out because she doesn’t know how else to phrase it.

Rightfully Killian is taken aback at the bluntness, “I - uh. Swan.”

Emma cringes at her outburst, she was making this harder than it needed to be. “I’m sorry, I’m not good at this. It’s just, my brother and Ruby have both told me how amazing it is that we’re together. Hell, tonight David said you’ve been pining for years and asked what it was that finally won me over.” She notices Killian getting redder the more she explains. “Ruby made me realise that we’ve been dating for years without even realising it. And I want you to know that was never my intention.”

“You never looked at me in high school probably because I was an acne ridden teenage boy with pretty horrible hygiene. Your attention was on an older guy in the wrong crowd who was cool and dangerous, but he broke your heart. You didn’t see me because my brother died and my father hated me, so how could you look at me and not pity me? You were the most beautiful girl in school, Emma. And I was so lucky you decided to be my friend. If you never loved me that would be okay, because you were my friend. Maybe I was foolish to think maybe one day you’d look at me as more than as a friend. I thought ‘Maybe if I buy her flowers when she’s upset and take her to dinner when her cop boyfriend broke up with her she’d look at me.’ But you never did.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She asks, voice breaking at the sudden admission.

“I guess I was afraid. I’d lost Liam, I lost my right hand. I didn’t want to lose you, Emma. After everything I’d lost, I still had my best friend and I think I’d break if I didn’t have you.”

“Killian. I’m sorry for asking you to be my fake boyfriend. It was stupid and if I knew how you felt- you must think I’m a horrible person.” She cringes, putting her face into her hands. She was a horrible person, she’d unknowingly taken advantage of a guy who's been in love with her for 15 years.

Killian takes her hands away from her face, forcing her to look at him. “Emma. I said yes because I wanted to help you, and you were right. It has stopped the pitying looks I would get. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the mistletoe stuff and earlier, I didn’t think-“

Emma interrupts before he can continue “No, no you don’t have to apologise. I’m the one who made things worse by blurring the lines. I kissed you and then I felt confused because it felt so right but so wrong at the same time.”

“Swan, you don’t have to explain. We both got carried away, but I shouldn’t have put you in that position in the first place.”

“Killian. The past couple days have been so confusing, you’ve always been my best friend but you’ve never just been that, it’s always been more. And I think after a conversation with Ruby I realised maybe I’d been missing out by not dating you for real. I’m sorry for missing the signs all these years, but I never looked at you with pity. I’m a former foster kid who was attracted to danger and I made mistakes, and you lost your brother and protector way too young. Both of us are broken, but I feel like with you everything just makes sense.” She doesn’t know why she didn’t realise it sooner.

“Can I kiss you again, Emma?” He asks and she smiles at him, a true smile she reserves for only the special people in her life.

“Please do.” And he captures her lips, softly this time. It wasn’t quick and hard like the past couple of times, it was gently asking for permission to go further rather than demand it. It’s the way their first kiss should have gone.

_________

They were back at the house within minutes, trying not to make it too obvious what they were rushing back for, but for once Emma didn’t care what other people thought.

“Too many clothes.” She comments, hands palming the buttons of his shirt, he’d pulled his jacket off and thrown it on the floor as soon as they entered before diving right into her lips.

Killian makes quick work of the zip on her dress and it quickly falls to the floor as his kisses continue, from the corner of her lips to her ear and then down her neck as she unclasps her bra, tossing it across the room.

“Killian” she can’t help but moan as the pressure in her core intensifies, she feels herself getting wetter and wetter at every kiss. She needed more. His hand cups her left breast, and his cool touch is enough to harden her nipple alone but then his fingers rub and pinch whilst his mouth makes moves on her right.

“Please Killian. Please,” she never begged when she was with a guy, they didn’t usually spend as much time with foreplay, they went straight in. Not Killian though, he was special, this was different. He was worshipping her.

“What do you want, love?” He asks and she could come alone from that sultry voice.

“You. Please. Gods, I need you.”

The devilish grin on his face appears and his lips travel south down her naval where he presses another soft kiss above her belly button before moving down to her thighs where she knows her underwear was soaked. “All this for me?”

His hand touches the soaking wet fabric and there was no use lying about how desperate she was for him, not when she was moaning like a porn star. He pulls her panties down and his touch is electricHe teases her folds, gathering her wetness in his fingers and then brings it up to his mouth and licks his fingers, which Emma didn’t realise was a turn on until that moment.

He kisses her so she can taste herself on him and then his mouth is on her core again, his tongue lapping at her increasing wetness. She grabs at his hair, pulling him closer as the pressure intensifies. His tongue licks up and down and then he finds her clit and Emma was in heaven.

He slips a finger inside and she’s on fire, finding the right angle, he pumps his finger in and out until adding a second and she throws her head back, crying begging for more as he finger fucks her.

“Right there! Harder! Please!” She begged.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” He whispers and Emma knows deep down, maybe she has, too.

“Killian” she moans again, she was missing out all these years if sex with him was this good.

“You’re still wearing too many clothes.” She reaches out to unbutton his pants and she can already see pre cum leaking from his underwear. She knew he was going to be large but when she pulls his boxers down and sees him already hard and ready for her is something she was not prepared for.

Killian groans at the simple touch of her hand on his cock and she smiles knowing it was her turn to make him in pain. Her lips touch the tip, causing him to tense before she takes him in her mouth and bobs her head up and down, her hand taking over where she couldn’t fit anymore of him.

“Tell me what you want, love.” He asks in a breathy moan

“You. Inside me. Now.”

He flashes her a wicked grin and kisses her softly before lining himself up and guiding his cock into her, edging himself in slowly.

Emma feels a wave of euphoria at the feel of his cock in her, rolling her hips against him trying to find the perfect rhythm as he thrusts into her inch by inch.

“Swan, you feel so good.” He mumbles, hand in her hair and she could only groan in agreement, he felt so good.

“I’m so close.” She breathes as Killian thrusts some more and his thumb brushes over her throbbing clit and Emma can’t help but scream his name ‘Killian!’

The sound of Emma screaming his name is what causes Killian to release fully and Emma knows she’s never had an orgasm such as this before.

He kisses her softly and slowly again. A promise that this was not the first or last time they would do this to another’s bodies.

___

Christmas morning Emma wakes once again wrapped up in Killians arms and she lets herself enjoy it without the guilt because there was no going back now. Maybe her brother was right, and it had been Killian all along.

[luvyeni]

CONSEQUENCES OF A ONE NIGHT STAND. ( chapter. 22 )

— CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: finally …

— 𖦹 warnings? mentions of family issues , mc cries

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“congratulations man.” sunghoon slung his arm over the boys shoulder. “you’re now gonna be a girl dad , and i am 1000 dollars richer.” jake glared at the boy.

“the next time you bet money on my baby , i’m gonna kill you.” he said , pushing the tipsy boy off of him. “noted , i just won’t tell you next time.” he walked away smirking , jake just shook his head , making his way over to you.

you sat on the couch , yunjin wiping your tears. “your makeup is so fucked up.” you laughed , she was right , you looked foolish , teary eyed and mascara running down your cheeks. “i know , i don’t care though , i’m just so happy.” you said , you didn’t even plan to cry , it just happened. “you should be , i just know you’ll be a good mom.” she hugged you. “thank you yunjin.” she hummed , before standing up. “i’m gonna go make sure those boys aren’t tearing our home apart.”

she walked away , leaving you alone – but it wasn’t for too long , jake making his way over to you. “can i sit?” you nodded , patting the seat next to you. “my parents send their apologies for not being able to come , they said congratulations , and they can’t wait to meet you.” your eyes widened. “i forgot meeting your parents.” he quickly calmed you down. “don’t worry about that , we still have time for all that.”

“you okay?” he asked , you had cried a lot and it kind of worried him. “i’m fine , it’s just that getting the gender really set everything , i’m really having a baby , a baby girl at that.”

“are you happy?” you smiled. “of course i am , i would’ve been happy if it was a boy.” you said. “but i can’t help but think about my mom.” he nodded , listening – he had been waiting for you to finally tell him about your relationship with your parents. “you want to talk about it?”

he moved closer , so no one could hear what you were saying. “there’s nothing to really say , i mean all my life my parents never really cared about me.” you started. “they cared more about my younger sister , i did everything on my on – i put myself through college , they had the money , but my sisters travels were more important , jungwon’s family basically raised me , they even helped buy the cafe , my parents don’t even acknowledge me as their daughter at this point.”

“when i went home , that was the first time in four years , and it went horrible.” you were crying again , jake frowned , reaching over to wipe your face. “i didn’t mean to make you upset.” he said , you flagged him off. “it’s okay , i told you i’d tell you when i was ready.” he hesitantly put his hands around you , pulling you in a hug. “i’m glad you did.”

you finally calmed down , jake getting up to get wipes to help you fix your ruined makeup. “i haven’t cried this much before in my life.” he chuckled. “it’s okay , cry all you want.” he said. “i’m fine now.”

you both sat there , jake listened to you talk , taking in all your features , smiling , not even fully paying attention to the words you were say , just taking in your beauty. “why are you staring at me?” your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “i don’t know , maybe because you’re pretty.” you rolled your eyes , playfully shoving him. “stop it.”

“i’m serious.” you look down at your lap smiling, thank you.” he smiled back , looking around the room , his eyes landing on jungwon how had been watching the whole thing. ‘ask her , stop being a pussy’ he mouthed , turning back to whatever he’d been doing with jay and ni-ki. “uh (y/n)?” he said nervously.

“yes?” you looked up , he rubbed the back of his neck. “you okay jake?” he sighed , it was now or never. “i know i said i didn’t want to like date or anything.” he started. “but these past couple months , getting to know you and all , i really grown to like you , like a lot and i was wondering if you’d maybe want to go out with me.”

you were taken aback by the sudden confession. “i didn’t expect that.” you said. “it’s okay if you don’t want to.” you shook your head no. “no no , that’s not it , i do i was just shocked.” his eyes widened with glee. “you do?” you smiled nodding. “of course i do.” he wanted to jump for joy , but he opted out , not wanted to embarrass himself. “cool , i’ll handle everything else , don’t worry.” he said , sunoo suddenly drops sunghoons drunk body on the couch next to you , jake moved his arm in front of you.

“fucking finally , we were tired of listen to you two flirt on the couch , and i’m tired of dragging his drunk ass around the apartment , how do you get drunk at a baby shower?” he rolled his eyes walking away. “congratulations on having a boy (y/n).” the boy slurred , you laughed. “i’m having a girl sunghoon.” he opened his eyes. “oh well that’s cool to , it doesn’t matter.” you shook your head , getting up. “i’m gonna go help clean up some , help your friend jake.” you walked away.

“you just had to go ruin everything.” he wanted to smother his friend with a pillow. “you alcoholic.” his friends shrugged. “you already got the date , it’s good someone intervened before you made a fool of yourself.” jake glared at his friend.

if he wasn’t in such a good mood , he would’ve strangled the boy.

— ( taglist. CLOSED ) @j-wyoung @whoslai @cha0thicpisces @sunsunl0ver @wonyoungsvirus @omgtintarr @en-dazed @kwiwin @httpsrinrin @igotkpoops @enhaz1 @ahnneyong @electrobutterfly @nes-caf @beomgyusonlywife @jup1t3r-y30n @gyulune @mixtape-racha @ddazed-lhs @shuichi-sama @chaelinhhwang @stariszn @rikisly @ilikekpop-c @jenjnk @ilovehimyourhonour @peachyun02 @primroselover @sxurgrapes

©LUVYENI

[idsb]

Ok I’m a semi-recent follower and I’m soooo confused with the Australia lore….like why did u go there? What happened when u were there? Like did u have a job or something? And then what made u decide to come back to the us?

Hm okay I will summarize this as concisely but thoroughly as possible: I have loved Australia my entire life, like I was 14 and was like “damn America sucks” as all 14 year olds do, but unlike most I never let go of it and got it in my head that I was so disgusted with America I needed to go somewhere else. I determined that, for those who natively speak English, Australia was the objectively best place you could possibly live. I dropped out of college in the US initially to go to college in Australia, but got cold feet about it.

In 2018 I finally went as a tourist and spent 2 months there. I was freshly out of an abusive 5 year relationship. My first full day there I met a guy and we hung out a few times, and the last night I was there (December 21; there’s a long annual post coming tomorrow as well) we hooked up and it was the most like, casually perfect and healing encounter of my entire life, if we’re skimming over details - just take my word for it. Thinking about the what ifs of it ate me alive and I went back in the fall of 2019. We drove across the country and went on an epic roadtrip entering a national jam (jellies marmalades etc) competition. It was the best 3 weeks of my life to that point and then it ended but it wasn’t epic enough to be worth any kind of distance.

My life and friend group had simultaneously been falling apart in America, and to come home without anything to hope for anymore… I came home and I crumbled. I was so depressed I didn’t get out of bed for a month. Literally Bella Swan core. Then the pandemic happened, so, you can imagine how that felt and what that did to all that 🤪

I moved on with my life but it all never stopped gnawing at me, and in 2023 I went back on what’s called a working holiday visa, where you get to work for up to 3 years (you renew it by completing certain parameters a year at a time). That whole thing was extremely good but also extremely bad, I pretty much arrived and a lot of catastrophicly bad shit happened immediately and it unfortunately colored a lot of the experience. I wound up in the end carving out a really beautiful life for myself there, though, and in the end it was everything I’d ever wanted. however a horrible asshole boss showed up and fucked everything up, 2 of my best friends there had to leave for a few months, and I had a boyfriend back home whom I really deeply missed, who was going through a lot and so the timing of the whole thing was just awful. After 9 months I came home around June of this year without completing the parameters to renew it, and it expired in early October.

[covetedbrother]

most days i’m like “yeah i’m pretty over my ‘sam is me i’m him we are the same and he’s also my bbg my son and my dad’ phase” and then i see one (1) bad take about him and i genuinely get murderous and i’m like “ah. nevermind”

what the fuck has he ever done????

(insane samgirl ramblings under the cut bc i’m losing my fucking mind)

if you’re mad at sam for starting the apocalypse: you’re telling me that if you were dealing with the effects of dying, watching your brother die, addiction, and actively being manipulated by your DEALER and also genuinely operating under the belief that that killing a demon would be a good thing, that you wouldn’t have killed that demon?

this bothers me especially bc sam broke seal 66. because he thought it would prevent the apocalypse. dean broke the first seal. because he tortured ppl in hell!!!!!

leaving for college: imagine getting mad at an 18 year old for leaving to go to stanford on a full ride scholarship. he did that in a “household” where he never lived in the same place for more than 6 months. ever. and his only family members thought it was emasculating to do well in school.

“choosing ruby over dean”: hey. hey. look at me. imagine the person you love most in the world. that you have a toxic codependent relationship with to the point of literally getting murderous if you are separated by more than a room without your choice. you’ve known each other for forever. you’ve killed for him. he’s your brother. you have spent a full year trying to figure out how to save his life. now imagine watching him die knowing he did it to save you. and you can’t get him back. now you are actively suicidal and someone comes along and acts almost just like him and offers you this thing that gives you the power to kill the things that killed him. this person says that you have the power to stop a horrible thing from happening. you believe her. and then your brother comes back from the dead and he’s. different. he doesn’t trust you anymore. and the person who gave you power tells you that it’s because he’s being lied to and manipulated to start the tragedy you are bent on preventing. so you’re hurt and scared and trying to save the world so, just this once, you choose to work with someone other than him.

the shit that happened in s8: again. same scenario as above but now you’ve both killed and died for each other multiple times. you’ve endured over centuries of torture by the devil himself and have just started recovering from the hallucinations that you had of the literal devil torturing you and telling you that you can never feel happy bc this is just another way of torturing you. making you feel happy for a moment only to bring you back and hurt you. then your brother disappears into a pile of black goo in front of you. you have no idea how or why. you do months of research and come up with exactly nothing. life without him isn’t worth living. you’re about to drive your car off a bridge. the car you grew up with him in, the one you both engraved your initials into when you were 8 and 10. with the legos shoved into the vents that you’ve never been able to take out. you’re not paying attention so you hit a dog. shit. he doesn’t deserve to die. not like you. you take him to the vet. his medical bills need to be covered by someone. it can only be you. the vet there treats you like you deserve to live, to be loved. you fall for her. you move in together and adopt the dog you hit. maybe,,,, just maybe,,, you can be happy.

and then your brother comes back. and he’s best friends with a vampire… the vampire’s name sounds like yours.

and your brother is mad at you. then your girlfriend discovers the husband she thought was dead is alive. your brother wanted you to break up with her anyways. you’d do anything for him. always. he doesn’t forgive you. it’s what you deserve.

you take on the trials of hell to try and do something right. it’s actively killing you. every day you wake up and cough lungfuls of blood into the sink. it’s fine. these trials will probably kill you, but it’ll be ok. you’re finally doing something right. the final trial requires you to confess your greatest sins in a church. you spend hours there, and the biggest sin you confess is disobeying your brother. you confess the times you’ve let him down. you’re clean now. you’re ready to die, ready to stop any demon from ever coming to earth again. and your brother calls you an idiot and stops you because he doesn’t want to watch you die. but by now, your body is going to die with or without completing the trials. your brother coerces you into being possessed without your knowledge for a year in order to keep you alive. the thing possessing you kills your friend. your brother blames you for it. it’s fine. he cares. you know he does. he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t care.

it never. ends. THERE ARE FIFTEEN FUCKING SEASONS OF THIS SHIT

ARE YOU MAD AT HIM FOR TRYING TO GET DEAN TO NOT BE AN ALCOHOLIC? TO EAT BETTER?

MAYBE YOU’RE MAD AT HIM FOR THINKING THAT THE PERSON WHO MADE FUN OF YOU FOR DOING WELL IN SCHOOL WOULDNT KNOW WHO VONNEGUT IS?

FOR NOT FALLING TO HIS KNEES AND WORSHIPPING DEAN EVERY TIME HE ENTERS THE ROOM?

are you mad at him for forgiving his father?

maybe you’re mad because dean had bad things happen to him that didn’t happen to sam.

are you mad at the man who got into stanford on a full ride scholarship and was about to get into law school before he dropped out for thinking of himself as smart?

i think they’re mad at him bc he’s not a perfect brother who gives into dean’s codependent tendencies 100% of the time. dean has a codependent personality, and sam has a rebellious streak of independence a mile wide. his rebellion just looked like choosing school over hunting, or studying over weapon training, or reading over sparring. not that he didn’t also do those things, he just also did other things.

[sekhithefops]

Anyone who tells a queer person "Just Move to a Better State" doesn't get it.

So, as some of you know I've got an account on Bluesky, one of the social media websites that arose from the ashes after Elon Musk completely fucked up Twitter beyond how fucked it was even on it's worst day.

Recently I shared this article, hoping to spread some good news to my fellow members of the LGBTQA+ community:

And some smarmy jackass replied with this:

Yeah... anyone who says this is an asshole who doesn't get the realities of these situations.

I grew up in Kentucky. Yes, the state where Mitch "the Lich" McConnell was spawned (we're trying to get rid of him but that asshole hid his phylactery really good okay?) As some of you might guess, my own home state has issues with people who try to push these sorts of laws.

I've been told by others, in the past, to just move to a better state.

I tried it once infact, I moved from the Cincinnati Metropolitan Area (I lived right on the border between Ohio and Kentucky at the time) to another city where I was going to live with a gay couple I met online who were friends with my, at the time, partner.

... you probably see where this is going already, but I'll continue.

The city definitely had a good LGBTQA+ presence, but here's the thing. I stayed there only six months before all but fleeing back to Kentucky.

Why?

Several reasons.

NOBODY wanted to hire "the new kid in town." I had a horrible time finding a job that would satisfy my roommate. They knew I had only worked retail in the past and, at the time, had no college under my belt at all. I tried getting jobs in multiple places. I tried getting hired on as a 911 operator, at several higher end stores, and such. You know where I wound up working? A shitty little Circle K station. It was the ONLY place that would hire me and paid a pittance. I could barely help with bills at all.

My roommate was a judgemental asshole. To quote Sir Terry Pratchett, "Just because someone is part of a minority doesn't mean they can't also be a small minded prick." One of my roommates judged me for EVERYTHING. Nothing I did was good enough, and if he found out something he didn't like he would hang it over my head and never stop giving me shit for it. I hated it. I hated it within weeks of arriving but I didn't want to leave because that would be 'admitting defeat' or some bullshit (it was ten years ago, I forget exactly how I justified it.)

I had to give up all the friends and family I had in the move. The part of the country I moved to was a place that I had never been before. I had no friends there, I had no family there. All I had to rely on was my two roommates. One of them clearly didn't want an extra roommate but went along with it because his boyfriend wanted it (I feel bad for him these days,) the other one... see item 2. This also leads into item four...

Because I had no friends and family there, I had no safety net. Asshole roommate constantly reminded me if I didn't get a 'better job' (and good luck to me on that given the circumstances) I'd be out on my ass, in a totally unfamiliar city. I had no help there besides them and he knew it, and he held that over me every chance he got.

Finally, after six months, I managed to move back in with my mother in Kentucky. This story does have a happy ending though. I wound up splitting up with my at the time partner (who in hindsight really wasn't a good match for me, though I hear they're doing much better these days,) and it was the wake up call I needed to get some college education. That didn't go great, but having even partial college on a resume helped me get a job that was far FAR better than retail work which I've held for over five years now.

I realized too that while Kentucky isn't great on progressiveness as a whole... the part of the state I'm from actually is. We're part of the Cincinnati Metropolitan Area (which basically means "if it wasn't for state lines we'd just be part of Cincinnati") and there's actually a really big LGBTQA+ community around here. These days I see Pride bumper stickers everywhere, and there's several houses nearby with Pride flags as well.

In Kentucky. Yes, that Kentucky.

But my point is... even assuming a person CAN move, it doesn't mean that it'll fix everything. In my case those six months were absolutely hellish despite living with a queer couple in a major city. My life only improved AFTER I moved back to Deep-in-the-Red-State Kentucky. Because the part I'm in has a good community, I have friends and family who support me, I have a good job here, and I have a good life here in spite of what some idiot in the state capitol is up to.

In closing, I have this to say: If you hear someone talking about queer issues in their home state and your first instinct is to tell them to just move to California or New York or some other state... just shut the hell up.

[loving-family-poll]

(Confession) I think I’ve got some fucked up cheryl blossom shit going on. growing up I was isolated as an only child literally living in the middle of the woods with only immediate family and I had imaginary friends to keep me company. But they weren’t friends to me. They were my siblings. I actually fucking called them Sister and Brother. Like that was their names.

I was so lonely growing up I used to write fanfiction about me having a twin brother. I wanted someone my age to play with and be close to and I was always drawn to sibling type characters as well as emotionally incestous stories but I didn’t know what that was back then because I was so young. I knew objectively incest was wrong but I was so desperate for someone to be mine, to be close with me and stuck with me so they couldn’t leave me like my friends had as the years went by.

I have two cousins, both a few days apart from me in age. One a guy, one a girl. For some reason I always wanted a brother specifically, I couldn’t tell you why. This guy cousin, I’ll call him Scott, felt like the answer that I had prayed for. I used to daydream about him being my brother. Similar to an anon a while back, we physically fought a lot. I bested him everytime because I’m a buff girlboss or something. I was obsessed with him and there definitely was some emotionally incestous stuff going on from my end—and from what I’ve observed over the years, especially pretty recently now that we are in college, it seems he’s physically attracted to me.

Whats strange about this is im not physically attracted to him. I’m not physically attracted to men at all, really. I’ve always liked women. They were what my first sexual fantasies were about, the first porn I watched, I could go on. Somehow I didnt realize that I liked women until highschool even though I did all of that. It was all because of a movie I watched and I fell in love with the movie character who was a woman and I realized oh. I’ve never felt that way about any of my boyfriends before, or even Scott. Like not even comparably close. That weird nervousness I had around him paled completely compared to the feeling I have for women.

I didnt feel this call for a sister as desperately as I did a brother, but I think that might have been because I always found it easy to become close with other women. An example of how this affected my realization of my sexuality was that I definitely had love for my best friend who I only knew for a year. I’m not sure if I was really in love, but when she moved away it was absolutely fucking horrible. I wrote her letters and left kiss marks on them as my signature and I cried every day for months imagining kissing her before she left “as sisters”. Like that was an actual verbatim thought I had. As sisters. I thought about telling her I loved her and eventually this led to my having fantasies about her etc etc etc. I never thought anything about it until years later.

The other cousin I mentioned, I’ll call her Laura, definitely had some emotional + physical incestuous feelings for me as we grew up. She used to beg me to shower with her, bathe with her, skinny dip with her, do anything and everything with her. She once begged me to let her shave my pubes. I have never had good boundaries and I didn’t really see a reason to say no even though it make me a bit nervous. She was the one with sisters, this was just some sister ritual that I didn’t understand because I had no siblings. So I let her do whatever she wanted and I catered to whatever she asked of me. Over time she started to pull away from me and I didn’t understand, hadnt I done everything she had wanted of me?

About eight years passed where I barely saw her but I learned to live with it because essentially the same ghosting happened with my friends in school. I didn’t understand why they left me but I couldn’t change it so I went with the flow. But randomly she started talking to me again. It was weird because it felt like we were getting along way better than we had before which I hadn’t even noticed was strained. And she was flirting with me. Telling me that my makeup looked so pretty on me, that my hair smelled good, and that she loved my dimples. I smiled at her once and she said, “ohmigosh, you have dimples. I love dimples on girls.”

Very quickly we made it clear without being explicit that we both were into girls one night. Nothing happened, but I think being open like that made her decide to stick by my side for the rest of the visit, unlike her usual routine, and she made me sleep in bed with her and go everywhere with her, like when we were kids.

Then she got a boyfriend.

Last visit I was dejected but happy for her because she seemed so much more happy than she had at any other time in her life. But then, I think, she made a move on me. We were at the local pool at nighttime, all alone. She mentioned wanting some ice cream before the shop closed next to the pool and because my love language seems to be acts of service and turning into mush when pretty girls bat their eyelashes, I very unsubtly ran off to get her ice cream. I think she knew by then that she had me in her clutches because her entire mood changed.

She came up close to me as she ate and very slowly crowded me against the wall. I was like an actual pile of mush trying and failing to eat my own icecream as she talked and I got that feeling in my chest, one I had never had with Scott, ever. She reached to me and adjusted my swim top strap and then brushed my hair out of my face and my body actually buckled. I had thought I was a top up until that point but im. I guess not. And then she fucking asked me if I thought the two of us would be able to fit into the bathtub together, again, like we used to.

I said yes and we rushed off back to the house and I was in the bathroom waiting for her and….she never came in. I went out to see where she was and she was with our grandfather and I did actually subtly ask her did you want to take a bath or anything? Because I’ll take a shower if not….and she told me she was just going to wait etc etc etc. and then I remembered. Her fucking boyfriend. Shit.

If Laura asked I would do absolutely anything for her. I think with Scott we have this Something Weirder Than Sex shit going on and I don’t know what to do on either front.

This is long as fuck but a good read that shit w Laura is wild

[dyns33]

Rook College

I did a silly College Vaas x female reader, because why not ?

Y/N could not explain how this happened.

You couldn't explain love after all. The heart had its reasons, all that.

While studying alone in the Rook University library, Vaas had come to sit next to her without warning. He had asked her what she was reading, before clearly explaining what he wanted.

If he didn't get a good mark on his next exam, he risked expulsion. And even though he didn't care one bit about studying, he really wanted his diploma, so he needed someone smart to help him.

Y/N looked smart. Smart enough to teach him, to not say no, and to know that she shouldn't tell anyone she had helped him.

This had happened six months ago.

They had been secretly dating for five months.

Really, Y/N couldn't explain how this happened.

She and Vaas were very different.

It was unclear what Vaas Montenegro, the tiger, was supposed to study. He took several courses, languages, sports, geography, cinema, philosophy, while attending almost none of them, preferring to spend his time in the dark corners of the campus.

Rumors were that he smoked, drank, did drugs, and sold whatever you needed to get others to do it too. People said he was violent, dangerous, crazy. He would have already had a lot of problems with the administration, he would have threatened a professor, and he would have fought with a lot of students. The girls were afraid of him, because some said he had done things.

Most of the rumors were true.

     "I'm not going to lie to you, nena." Vaas said very honestly when he had just kissed her for the first time and she hadn't pushed him away. "I'm not a nice person. Well, not with everyone. With you, I'll be a true fucking gentleman. I'll never hurt you, mi corazon. You deserve the best, so I'll give you the best version of myself, no matter how imperfect it is."

The rumors about the girls were the only ones that were untrue, really. The only girl who must have been afraid of Vaas was his half-sister, Citra, whom he hated more than anything, and she was absolutely not afraid of him.

After the death of their parents, they had had a lot of problems, which he didn't like to talk about. He talked about it all the same to Y/N, while she hugged him, hidden in the darkness of his small student room.

Normally Vaas should have had a roommate, Carlos, but he had fired him. Carlos had fired another student, to move in with his friend Benny. It was convenient.

No one knew that Vaas and Y/N were together. No one. Outside his room, they saw each other secretly in the library, in empty hallways, or off campus.

They had never really discussed why they were hiding. Of course, Y/N was a bit afraid of what people were going to say. She was a bit afraid that their criticisms and judgments would spoil everything between them. It was also exciting to have a secret.

At the same time, she really wanted to tell everyone, because she really loved Vaas, she wanted people to know that he was hers, and that he wasn't as horrible as most people thought. She didn't care if the others didn't accept the situation.

He wasn't perfect, he said so himself, but he could be adorable. In any case, he was adorable with her, as he had promised.

     "You're smiling like an idiot again, nena."

     "I'm not allowed to smile ?"

     "Of fucking course, I love your smile. My ray of sunshine. But when you look at me like that, I just feel weird, like I'm the happiest man alive, and I don't like feeling weird."

     "I am very happy to be with you."

     "There you go, you're also saying silly things, mi amor. You can't be happy with me, I'm a moron."

Vaas had very little self-confidence. That was why he compensated a lot with insults and violence, to hide his deep hurt, instead of just being honest with others.

He had a hard time letting people in. Y/N was an exception.

That was probably why he didn't want people to know about them. At least, that was what she thought, until she overheard a conversation he was having with some of his "friends", or colleagues as he preferred to call them.

Buck, Hoyt, Pagan, and John. It was true that he didn't often talk about them using compliments, but they spent a lot of time together. There was also his little gang, with Carlos, Ben and Miguel, even though they all called him "Jefe".

     "The spring ball is coming."

     "Fuck, the what ?" Vaas asked, finishing his cigarette. "What is this new bullshit again ?"

     "The spring ball, Jefe. An idea from the director, to celebrate the end of the May exams, and please everyone."

     "He thinks we're still in high school ? Stupid old bastard. No time for that bullshit."

     "But good plan to sell gear." noted Hoyt.

     "And fuck." Buck added.

     "If too many jerks are high at the party, we might get in trouble. The director is already suspicious. Bad plan."

     "What about fucking, Jefe ?"

     "You want to fuck, Carlos ? Don't you already have little Ben for that ? Since you share a bed. You do what you want with your cock, hermano, not my fucking problem."

     "It would do you good to have someone. Yuma could say yes, for one night. I saw two nice girls, Lisa and Daisy. There are several nice girls on campus."

     "Shut up, Min."

     "I saw you once with a little mouse. Y/N, I think ? Not my type, but if you like..."

     "Shut up, Min." repeated Vaas, lighting a new cigarette, without adding anything and quickly changing the subject.

Y/N might have been happy that he didn't agree with what Pagan had said. About how she clearly wasn't interesting or beautiful enough to be with Vaas. But he hadn't said otherwise either.

And then she wondered if he wasn't hiding her just because he was ashamed. Because his reputation would be bad with dating a girl like Y/N.

She thought about it for hours, days, feeling terribly hurt. He had promised never to hurt her.

     "Nena, are you listening to me ?" Vaas asked, waving his hand in front of her face, visibly worried. "You haven't touched your ice cream and you haven't said anything for ten minutes. I started talking about flying dolphins, hermosa. Talking flying dolphins, and you didn't say anything at all."

     "Oh, sorry."

     "Are you… are you okay ?"

     "Vaas. I think it's better if we stop seeing each other."

This conclusion had become clear to her the day before, when she was crying in her bed. Even though she loved him, and she was pretty sure he loved her too, their story was going nowhere, and it was ridiculous to continue.

Vaas stared at her for a long time. For a moment she wondered if he was going to scream, or cry, or bang his glass against the table in the little bar where they were, but he didn't move, completely frozen, as if the world had just come crashing down around him.

     "... I did something ?" he finally asked in a low voice.

     "No, it's not you. You've been wonderful to me, really, but... I don't think it's working. I'm not saying you're ashamed of me, but I know you don't want people to know about us, and I get it. It's better that way."

     "Y/N..."

     "Please." she said standing up. "It's really better that way. You'll find better, like Lisa or Daisy. Goodbye, Vaas."

She left very quickly, boarding the first bus to escape him, as he ran after her, shouting her name. Y/N fled to Amita's house, where she ignored Vaas' calls and messages, telling herself again and again that it was the right decision.

She repeated it to herself when she returned to her dorm room and her roommate jumped on her asking who had filled all the space with flowers.

She repeated it to herself again when she passed in front of her name written in huge letters on the main wall of the campus, surrounded by small hearts.

     "I heard you had a secret admirer." Jason sneered without malice, as he and the rest of his band came to sit at her table during lunch break.

     "I don't want to talk about it."

     "Do you know who it is ? I bet for Ajay."

     "Ajay ? Ajay Ghale ?"

     "Yes. You two are friendly, aren't you ?"

Yes, Ajay and her were friends. Nothing more. They often studied together, and more than once she had to reassure Vaas about him, without revealing that Ajay couldn't love her like that, since he preferred the other team.

     "I heard rumors that he was going to invite you to the ball."

     "Don't listen to rumours."

     "Maybe but..."

Keith couldn't finish his sentence. A huge, repetitive metallic noise was heard throughout the canteen, and when she turned to see what it was, Y/N discovered Vaas, standing on a table in the middle of the room, banging on a saucepan with a pan.

He only stopped when everyone looked at him.

     "SHUT UP, MOTHERFUCKERS, SHUT UP, I'M TALKING !" he shouted, before pointing his pan in a specific direction. "Y/N ! DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE SPRING BALL WITH ME ?!"

Too surprised by the situation, Y/N didn't have time to be embarrassed by feeling all eyes turn towards her. Vaas was staring at her too, with an intense gaze, full of hope and passion, and since she wasn't sure she could speak, she nodded.

This seemed to satisfy him, as he flashed a huge grin, before grimacing as he looked at the others.

     "WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ?! EAT YOUR LUNCH, CABRONS!"

He then jumped off the table and left the canteen as if nothing had happened. Of course, he was the only one to act as if everything was normal. Everyone asked Y/N hundreds of questions.

Why had Vaas done this ? Did he send the flowers and draw the hearts ? Was he serious or was he having fun ? Did he hurt her ? Why had she agreed to go to the ball with him ?

It was then obvious to Y/N that if Vaas had been afraid that people would judge, criticize, make comments, and that one of them would end up being ashamed, it was not by thinking of him and his "friends". If one of them should be ashamed of their couple according to him, it was her.

     "No, really, why ?" asked Daisy, who had followed her into the girls' bathroom, repeating that she was worried, like everyone else. "You can tell him no. We can go see a teacher."

     "I'm fine. He's not… Look, he's not as terrible as people think."

     "How can you know that ?"

All these questions were starting to give her a headache. Y/N wanted to take refuge in her bed, hide under her covers, far from everything. She was about to answer, when an arm landed around her shoulders, and a head stuck to hers.

     "She knows because we've been dating for five months, hermana. Now you're leaving her alone with your fucking questions, it's  really annoying."

Vaas didn't care about the "girls' toilet" sign. He didn't care about almost any rules, which he saw as challenges.

Seeing Daisy open her mouth to retaliate, he raised a finger and calmly told her to shut up, while continuing to hold Y/N with his protective arm. She couldn't help but look at him with a smile, which caught his attention.

     "Nena, you're smiling like an idiot again."

     "Sorry." she whispered, still smiling.

     "It's okay, mi amor." he said kissing her. "Tell me if that bitch pisses you off again."

This slightly romantic scene did not reassure Daisy at all, and the following Saturday, during a small party that had been planned for a long time, the others took over to check that Vaas had not threatened Y/N to go out with him.

     "I repeat, he is nice. Sometimes."

     "Only 'sometimes' ?" Oliver muttered.

     "No, I mean… With me all the time, but if I tell everyone how nice he can be, he's going to get mad."

     "He's going to get mad at you ?!" Riley shuddered.

     "No ! Against the others. He is going to go see them to break their teeth in order to prove that he is not gentle. Then he will ask me why I did this with his little pout, before going to sulk in a corner until he decides he wants hugs."

     "Hugs..." Grant repeated. "Y/N, simple hugs are fine. But maybe he just wants more and that's not serious."

     "If he just wanted more, he would have left me months ago."

     "Because you are not easy."

     "Because he already had more." she answered honestly.

     "What ?!" Liza asked indignantly. "No, don't tell me you two..."

Her phone saved her, 'La Vida Loca' already telling her who was calling her, and everyone really stopped talking when they saw the name on her screen.

     "Yes Vaas ?"

     "Mi corazon. I miss you. You want to come to my place ? I have a great movie, and mangoes."

     "Why mangoes ?"

     "Why not ? Are you coming ?"

     "I can't, I'm at a party with friends."

     "The idiots ? They're not bothering you with questions again, are they ? I can tell they're bothering you, I can tell you're not well. I can come and yell at them for you if you want."

    "I'm doing fine, thanks."

    "Okay. As you wish, nena. I'll eat my mangoes by myself. And tomorrow I'll take you to the restaurant. I'll dress nicely, like a penguin, and I'll speak like an English nobleman."

     "You're ridiculous." she laughed, imagining the scene.

     "Just for you."

This time, seeing her smile like a fool on the phone, everyone seemed to understand as though they were different, though he wasn't perfect, though it might seem strange, Y/N and Vaas really loved each other. They were happy together, and everything was going perfectly well.

It couldn't be explained, it was just like that.

So when she hung up, they didn't ask her any more questions, and although Vaas remained convinced for a long time that it was because they were afraid of him, it was mainly because Rook College saw for the first time that the tiger wasn't as wild as he wanted to make it out to be, purring like a kitten whenever he was with Y/N.

He still broke the teeth and fingers of those who dared to make the remark to prove the contrary.

[popchoc]

Hi! If you're still doing prompts, could you do #10 - "you broke my heart. twice" for Julesmika please? (I love julesmika angst)

Hi there! Oh I'm with you, when it comes to these two (okay, when it comes to many - lol) I'm all for some good old angst. They're just so damn good at it! For a prompt, with its limited word count, it's not that easy though. Or would that be my compulsive need to solve ieverything while I can (hey, I'm still a social worker!)?! Sooo yeah, this might have become a bit more hurt/comfort than angst. I hope you like it anyway!

Jules & Mika - You Broke My Heart. Twice.

Mika has to ring the bell three times before Jules finally opens her front door. She's wearing sweats and some old faded college shirt. An alarming sign, considering their plans.

As soon as their eyes properly meet, Jules starts to apologize, stammering a bunch of sorries.

Not understanding any of it, Mika draws her eyebrows together. "Jules, what's going on?" she asks as worry clouds her face. "Are you sick?"

Jules shakes her head. "N-No. No, I'm not sick. I... I don't know what's..."

"Okay, we're not getting anywhere like this," Mika states, taking Jules by the hand and dragging her with her into the hallway. It's been a while since she's been here, but she still remembers her way to the kitchen. "Sit, breathe," she tells Jules, who's listening surprisingly well. "Now, let's try again. What's happening?"

With her eyes fixed on the table top, Jules shrugs lightly. "I... froze. I was about to get ready for our date, and I suddenly just... couldn't anymore." Warily, she peers up at Mika through her lashes. "I can't, anymore."

"Oh..."

While Jules probably wants her to go, Mika drops herself onto the other chair. Jules doesn't protest.

She just averts her eyes again, pulls up her knees and wraps her arms around them. "I don't get it," she quietly goes on, "Because I want to. I want to go out with you, be with you. I never stopped wanting any of that. Even when you were..."

When she stays quiet, Mika leans in a little, her brows raised in anticipation.

"But?"

"But I guess you—this!—also frightens me," Jules murmurs, just to quickly add a little ouder, "I'm sorry, that sounds horrible, I don't mean—"

"Hey, hey!" Mika reaches out, resting her hand on top of Jules'. To her relief, she doesn't pull back. "I know you don't mean bad. And I know I put you through a lot."

Jules swallows, like she's fighting a serious lump in her throat. "You had to take care of you."

"Yes," Mika nods, "I did. And that sucked. For me, but just as well for you." After a gentle squeeze, she lets go of Jules' hand and sits back again. "That's the thing, isn't it? It was all about me. All this year. It was never about you. I never asked how any of it was for you. How you felt."

For a moment they just stare at each other. Yet then Jules abruptly gets up and moves towards the kitchen counter. Not to get a glass of water, not to make coffee, but just to lean onto it; her eyes on her hands in front of her, her back towards Mika.

"Jules?" Mika breaks their silence, "How did you feel?"

"You don't want to hear that."

"I really do."

"It..." Jules clears her throat. "It will sound like I'm blaming you - which I don't!"

This time Mika is the one to shrug, even though Jules can't see her. "Even if you do... tell me."

Jules takes a deep breath, before spinning back on her heels. Her eyes find Mika's straight away. "You broke my heart. Twice," she blurts out. "I got it, both times, I understood why you needed your space. But fuck, it hurt!"

Jules' pain hits Mika like a blow to her chest, making her suck in a shaky gasp just to hold it together. But she doesn't say anything. She just nods again, encouraging her to go on.

With her gaze moving back to the floor between them, Jules heaves another sigh. "I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm afraid I can't handle a third time."

"I understand," Mika answers, getting up as well, "But there won't be a third time."

Biting her lips, Jules shakes her head. "You don't know that."

"But I do! Jules, I promise, I wont—"

"No, see, you can't promise anything," Jules cuts her off, her voice suddenly raised. "Life is a mess. Shit happens. To all of us, all the time. You don't get one portion, to be forever excused from then on." And then, mumbling beneath her breath, "You've got a lot of sisters."

Mika knows she isn't joking, at all, but Jules' last words make her laugh nonetheless. Which, she has to admit, feels really good.

"Mika, I'm serious!" Jules exclaims, though with a sparkle in her eyes Mika hasn't seen in a long time.

"I know, I know," she chuckles, before getting serious again. "I hear you. And you're right. Maybe I should promise you something else."

Jules tilts her head. "Like what?"

"When shit happens, I promise you to run towards you, not away from you," Mika answers, "That is, if you let me."

Jules looks at her, her eyes telling her a thousand things at once. Then she steps closer without a word and wraps her arms around Mika's neck. Mika, though taken by surprise, doesn't hesitate and answers the embrace.

That's how they stand there, together as one in the middle of the kitchen, holding on to each other - and to a promise that just may have saved them...

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let's do some prompts!