#hoping. fingers r crossed!!!
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hell yea *blows up my gender and sexuality
#pride month#aromantic#non-binary#nonbinary#persona#mecore#crows art#pride month 2023#crossing my fingers hoping mobile doesn't fuck up the colors KJHFDKGJ#ERM BUT YEA ladies r hot my gender is nonexistant and if you flirt with me im blowing you up with my mind B-]
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the day i stop making icons like this is the day i die
+my overloaded one i made for discord (i can remake this w/ the original grim also if anyone wants it just lmk!)
#cliffnotes/.txt#a date with death#dwd#adwd#use em if you like! none of this is mine its just a quick edit#these r like. MY 2016 flower crown icon edits#i HAVE to make em for my faves or i wither away#also. hoping this doesnt collapse like when i tried to upload it the first time#fingers crossed
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noticed a while ago that dex has bullseye symbols on his gloves! he has them on both his right and left hand gloves. glad they included some more of the bullseye iconography in his costume besides the bullseye rings on his collarbones. i am still praying this is his prototype suit he made himself and he’ll get a better one later on in the show, because as much as i am trying to like this suit, it is just so ugly. i mean, if dex made it himself that’d explain why it looks so…fun? whimsical? looks like a person not in the right state of mind made??
maybe the symbols will be more visible in the final product of ddba, but right now they’re practically invisible so that begs the question on why’re they even there LMAO. maybe they’re going to make him ‘earn’ the bullseye symbol on his forehead even though he literally did already at the end of season three. i’m hoping this is a prototype, and then matt beats him in this fight and he is humiliated because matt hadn’t ever beaten him before (and nobody really ever has beaten him) so he comes back in the latter half of the first season with a better, more protective, (and sexy. dexy. ha. i mean what) and more classic bullseye costume and a stronger and renewed hatred for daredevil
#he has the symbols on both hands of his gloves i just couldn’t get a picture of his left hand that wasn’t 5 pixles LMAO#ive got lots of hopes and dreams for what i am crossing my fingers that hes like in the show#or at least comic storylines/aspects of bulls as a character that will be adapted#some of them i’d hoped to be changed cause dex and 616 bulls r both bullseye but they’re also very different so things shouldn’t be the exa#ct same#that is what made s3 so special it was an adaptation of dd comics yes but it was also something new and wonderful#benjamin poindexter#bullseye#wilson bethel#daredevil#mcu#ddba#daredevil born again#daredevil: born again#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#character analysis
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can I say something
I think yumeshipping (selfshipping) w the gadgetinis is cool actually
#not tagging idc but still#kinda based off that one self ship I saw w digit & that one sonic looking character#i’ve seen like 2 images but I wonder how they’re doing now… godspeed#also kind of out of spite since i’m tired of everyone babying the twins#like yeah they’re young they’re tiny but they’re NOT BABYS#those r young adults at best…programmed at least - how the hell did u think they could talk & understand all that was said in the last ep#BESIDES BONESUS I CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT THEYRE SAYING EVEN i’m not good w bills#idk i’m just tired of people glorifyingly infertiling them or whatever the word is..they’re curious cuz they’re ROBOTS#BUILT WITH A MENTALITY STOCK UP ON DECADES WORTH OF INFOMATION MIND YOU - OF CORSE THEYRE GONNA B CONFUSED AT TIMES#crosses fingers. I really hope I don’t get flamed for this!! grinding teeth emoji
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Me when emails
#just sent an email applying for a position which would be extremely helpful and relevant to me#which is nice cause hell yea i want that. but which sucks becuse what if they hate me and kill me with hammers for applying#and it fucks up the rest of my life forever for some reason :(#everybody wish me luck plsssss it would be so epic if i got the position#it would make my course load and graduation plans get fucked up probably but it would be worth it i think#ugggghhhhhhhhh idk my thiughts r kind if scattered but like. heres hoping fingers crossed etc etc#ok good buh buh talk to u later ❤️ (<- as if hanging up after a phone call)#original
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my computer won't connect to my monitor ive tried every hdmi cable in this house. my friend suggested a fix but ill only try that tomorrow when its Daytime because my room light is Still not fixed. im just so overall annoyed
#I wanted to draw tomorrow!!! last chance to get another revenge in!!!! but my puter said nonono#i hope it works tomorrow im crossing my fingers so hard#and also just the thought of spending a day at home with no puter. of course i can do it it's just. UGHHH#at least my friends r coming over on saturday anyway and then she'll be here to look at it personally
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HAVE SHIFTS FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS AND BY GOD ARE THEY SEXY!!!!!!!!!!
#got my shifts for next week a couple days ago but now having them both is like#fuck we might be onto something here !!!!!!#guysssss this is good this is really really good#it’s not perfect but it’s very good#i may no longer be teaching one student i really like though and if that’s the case it’ll be rly sad but it might not be the case so fingers#crossed !!!!!!! but my hours r very good out of what could reasonably be asked for#like if i could get slightly more that’d be even better but what this is is fantastic i cannot lie#very very very happy about this and also very relieved#bc if they’re scheduling me in this way then they clearly think i’m doing a good job AND it means there’s less immediate worry abt me#getting another job which is amazing#like i was rly worried that as the term started my hours would take a dip bc people might be more available/they’ve got a better idea of me#so how much do they rly want me around but it hasn’t !!!!! and touch wood everything keeps going smoothly bc i’ve got More hours than ladt#term and that is exactly what i need and have been hoping for#🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿 i dont want to jinx this but my god this is good news
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Princess and the War Crimes is the silliest working title for a musical/play ive heard today helpe/pos
#watermelons talks#i haven't slept yet so the. hyper is fixating#might nap or smth right after posting this HELP#uranium teen scream trilogy#rtc#ride the cyclone#legoland#legoland play#the second more information abt the musical/play gets dropped im going to be on it like a fucking hOUND#all i know is. follows character whos been in all 3 shows (most likely penny#hoping for ezra to make an appearence again fINGERS CROSSED I NEED HIM IN MEDIA THAT ISNT LOST)#takes place on a cruise ship#smth about a intergenerational rock band ????#OKAY WAIT I CAN STILL FIT MY (admittedly kinda self indulgent) THEORY INTO THIS#PENN N' EZ SNEAK ONTO CRUISE SHIP TO GET OUTTA URANIUM OR SMTH#accidentally join the rock band thing or smth#or they a r e the band and thats how they get on (along with. dragging some other people with them)#shenanigans insue. considering the working title someone might commit a war crime or something
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#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol
#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird#this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY#i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it#whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo#i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work#imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞#real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason#like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me#ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS???#ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like#why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean#i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything#i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed#i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame#i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol#also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually#cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj#i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle#i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore#i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable#ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao#im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed#ramblings#shut up cianna
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happy new yrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i am feeling less sick but not gonna jinx it bc ny thriat fucking sucks rn#but fingers crossed#hope others out there r heading towards a gr8 2024 too
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:]
3.5k words for ITNL 16. We be making progress
#speculation nation#itnl shit#i keep coming across little bits of technically difficult things#snagging me. but ive gotten thru them alright#i think... theres just 1 Ish more maybe difficult thing to describe. kinda like a movie moment in my mind.#ok maybe a few more hfkdhfkd but thats what happens for an action chapter.#i hope readers are enjoying the way itnl is becoming an action fic bc i just think it's So fun to write fights#vash is capable of some Insane fucking moves. i can realistically do whatever the fuck i want with him.#Whatever's Coolest. and man there r a lot of cool moments this chapter.#im excited. i hope i can keep this momentum going tomorrow. Crossing My Fingers!
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okAY i am Not working tonight so im just gonna curl up in bed in twenty smth layers probably and go through all the merc car launch content i missed. sorry for the upcoming spam
#do u think kyle has my bono gifs done. i hope so. preemptively kissing u on the cheek if u see this kyle#oooh mb i could write some fic. hmm. there was this schumilton one#like. i am SO tired. my bones r gooey n i feel drunk but idk if i’ll be able to sleep idk idk mb mb#what r we thinking . here’s fingers crossed mick george n lewis looked good today. i know they did but still#blessed.txt
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first po
More personal account kinda idk
But anyways, DOGMAN MOVIE TRAILER DROPS TODAY IMMA GONNA SCREAM AND SHOUT AND LET IT ALL OUT BECAUSE HORRAAAY DOGMAN MOVIE TRAILER COMES OUT TODAY I MEAN TOMMOROW
#Dogman#dav pilkey#movies#DOGMANNN#DOGMANISGOTMRRW#DOGMAN IN ONE DAY#I LOVE DOGMAN#ICANT VELIEVE MY EYES DOGMAN#IN A DAY!!#I HOPE THAT RANDOM TWITTER POST I SAW WAS REAL#I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE#FINGERS CROSSED#petey the cat#IF THE NEWS WAS FAKE THEN UHH#VUT DOGMAN#DOGMAN IS GO#I MIGHT UPLOAD SOMETHING COOL FOR DOGMAN#ME AND MY SIB R GOING TO REACT TO THE TRAILER#(IF IT DROPS)#AND IF NOT#THE. I DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT#BUT I DIE DOING OR WAITING WHAT I LOVE#DOGMAN#INA DAY#HORRAY
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my tummy feels so good after castor oil packs :^)
#i really hope this is the missing thing in my health journey 😭 been trying to heal for so long#thoughts#i suspect i have ovarian cysts which would make sense why my periods r so painful#so fingers crossed praying this helps get my body back to balance
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the company i work for is bankrupt
#heard people r getting laid off#theyr cutting the hours of everybody in my department#they sent me home for half the week and dont want me back until monday#half expecting to get laid off when i come back#things will be okay though#i got together all the references i need#one of my old jobs actually offered to rehire me#probably wont go back there but its good to have options#i have some leads on other jobs too#worst case unemployment should keep me going for a while#i wont have any money for savings for a while but i’ll survive#i have a place to sleep and my sister usually lets me borrow money from her school loans#i just hope they’ll let me stay until the third#that’s when i’ll have been there for a year#sounds dumb but i was really looking forward to getting that stupid certificate#ive never been able to keep a job for more than a year so this was a big personal goal of mine#fingers crossed
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