#hoping too i can do what i say and concentrate on my website lmao
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patzweigz · 1 year ago
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hm.
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omentranslates · 9 months ago
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Trigun Maximum Chugai Grace Cafe Collaboration - I Translated the Website :3
Hi I saw someone on twt wanting this to be translated and that's literally all it takes to get me moving anymore so!
Anyways I translated all the food and drinks, I found the references they chose really cute except for the evil one lmao and I also included the unbelievably small print drink ingredients if you wanna try mixing them yourself!! 🫶
Also also, if you know how to use a proxy, there is actually some stuff here that overseas fans can get our hands on!! Under the cut to keep the dash clean!! Hope it helps!!!!!
Edit my dumbass forgot the original announcement link sjshsk IT’S HERE!!!
So, the menu
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Going from left to right we've got
"Battle Sausage Spaghetti"
"As Many Salmon Sandwiches You Want"
"Love&Peace Donuts"
"Banana Sundae"
and on the bottom row
"The Perfect Meal Plate: Vash's Handmade Fried Rice and Salad" ((´༎ຶོω༎ຶོ`) o k )
"Particularly Wonderful Udon"
"Mille-feuille with Ceylon Tea" (i believe the first part specifies gateau mille-feuille but I went to episode one and checked the subs for what they had her say officially and they left the gateau off so I did too)
"Latte with a random character art"
Character Drinks!!!
The Bride Soda, which comes with a double-sided postcard of the sworn friends (very common nickname for Vash and Wolfwood in JP fandom and ig official uses it too)
So the soda is their proprietary thing, it doesn't say what flavor it is or if it has one, but the shotglasses come with a little bit of smoked oak syrup and black ceylon tea and you're meant to fill the rest of the glass with soda and drink it that way. And then the rest of the text is just information and disclaimers for customers that plan on taking the bottle home (I guess it breaks really easily that’s So. lmao).
Vash's Drink <3
strawberry syrup
carbonated water and lemon juice
yellow candied cherries (drained cherries) and ice
Wolfwood's Drink
crushed coffee jelly and cafe ice (ice made and flavored with concentrated coffee and fruit juice)
brewed iced coffee and gum syrup
blue curaçao syrup and carbonated water
experimental ampules filled with blue soda
the cigarette is full of light brown sugar you're meant to mix in before drinking
Knives's Drink
apple juice and round sliced apples
mint and ice (it looks like mint leaves but full disclosure they have blurred that kanji to all hell I have no idea)
Legato's Drink
blue curaçao syrup
grapefruit juice
carbonated water and a mint cherry
a lemon and ice
Collab Merch
(Overseas pay attention here!!!!!! ChugaiOnline is opening these to online orders so we can get them with a proxy, I'll leave their link at the end of this section!!!!!!)
I've also listed all the prices in yen here so you can convert them to your currency, and all of these are the prices including the listed Japanese sales tax. If you want to see the price without it, it’s just the other number on the image!
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So they've got
Two way acrylic figure stands (the main stand comes with a ball chain, you can reference these on Amiami for what this kind of product looks like I'm prettyyyyy sure like they're called different but it looks like they go together the same way). Anyways this is a set of 6 and 1650 yen each, it looks like you get to choose which one you want but they don't have a deal listed for getting all of them.
Next to it are the buttons (also called can badges idk which one is more common over here), set of 12 (6 are regular and 6 are glittery variety). They are 550 yen per button AT RANDOM, THEY WILL GIVE YOU A RANDOM ONE, or a box with one of each all 12 for 6600 yen.
Below that is the polaroid collection, it's also a 12 piece set and you can get A RANDOM ONE, THEY DO NOT LET YOU PICK for 330 yen each or a box with all of them for 3960 yen.
The same exact deal with the plastic (like a vinyl material) postcards underneath, they're double-sided and come one for 660 yen each at random or the whole set for 7920 yen.
The calendar is for 2025 and is 1980 yen probably obvious but y'know
I would be so shocked if a proxy actually let you ship the Kuroneko sama cookie discs lmao but hey wtf they're 1080 yen.
The Bride soda is listed here because this is the same merch that will be sold in the shop but they specify elsewhere that it's not available for online order even in Japan you have to go to the cafe ;-;
Also this is just personal experience but a lot of proxies will not let you get like blind or random stuff like the buttons they don't let you pick which one, some of them will only let you get it if you're getting the whole box.
Annnnnnd online order special gifts!!
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For every 3000 yen spent in merch (including tax) you will get a random postcard from this set!! There are 15 to collect, they are NOT divided into halves of the event, you can get any of them at any time or all at once!! However, you can't combine orders made at different times/by different people to get more and if they run out that's it. Altho fwiw I have never seen an event run out of these lol
The online order period will be from Friday, May 24th at 11 am to Sunday, June 16th at 11:59 pm (both JST) and items will begin to arrive (within Japan, proxies will have to handle our own shipping ofc) from August 2024 on a first ordered first shipped basis.
CHUGAIONLINE STORE (JAPAN)
Ok, this last bit is relevant to the in-person cafe experience so it's just for if you're curious about other cool things going on or you have a hobby of watching JP mercari like a hawk and wanna know what to expect!
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Guests who reserve places at the cafe online will get copies of some of Nightow sensei's most prized sketch pages, they'll get 3 random ones! Like with the special gift postcards, there are a limited amount and this event will end when they're all gone.
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And these are the coasters, guests will get one with every item they order off the food or drink menu at random (while supplies last)! The variety you can get is split between the former and latter halves of the event so there's something new to come back for even if you've already been once! (The first 12 days is on top and the last 12 days is on bottom)
They're also doing a wallscroll campaign!
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They'll have these decorating the venue, and when the event is over a raffle will be held where the winners get to pick out a scroll of their choice!
OK I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING RELEVANT HAPPY TRIGUN MANGA CAFE EVENT!!!!!
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boyfhee · 8 months ago
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hmm, jay fic?? write it and you shall submit. i will be waiting for it, hehe. even i want to start a writing account for enha but i dont know what to post first T_T i have a text au and a headcanon, tell me which one should i post first :0
hope your bro does well in his 10th ✌🏼 tell him to not waste these next months, but hasnt the difficulty level for 10th graders decreased too?? i hate this education system. for us, 70% of syllabus was removed and people say you guys didn't write the exams 😭
hanuman chalisa haha, even if i have god by my side. i would be scared too. lmao how can a jaw chase her... noo that is so funny 😂 i mean i cant handle the smell of rotten food and what would i or you do with cadaver 🥲 i dont know. i regret everyday that why i havent chosen bipc 😔
i know apathorax from arjun reddy movie 😶 is it what it is?? help i dont even remember. isnt it beside the chest of a human?? the flesh part?? tell me tell me. well i havent been interested into coding but i need to start to learn how to code.
since you said you have coded, tell me the basic coding languages i need to know + how your teachers taught you caelin! i badly want tips to learn. like i have so many reels saved on my ig about coding + tips
same pinch, but i have been stanning them since on era and i think i was a hardcore fan until they dropped butter. i lost interest because same, their music started to change and started concentrating on the west. soo, i used to love the old bts caelin :(
hell no!!! when i used to watch yuzuru hanyu skating videos, i got into figure skating and then random videos used to pop up, even i used to know sunghoon before he debuted 🥲 i didnt watch like all of his performances but watched the best ones in his career ^^ he grew up so well.
yup!!! when fever was dropped, engenes knew it was a banger. damn it everyone on twitter asked whose song was this and engenes were like, huhu its enhypen \(^_^)/ hooray hahga. even i agree with you fever was and is the best bside i have ever heard from them.
this already long so i will continue in the next ask :3
— lover club anon <33
jay fic was posted, i hope it reached you well ^^ also, good luck with starting a writing account omg .. you can start with texts since they are a quick read and attract more audience !!! however, headcanons aren't bad either ... it really is your choice :O
i will tell him to do well in 10th, although he wastes all his time playing valo / forza horizon TT i don't know how easy or difficult the school exams have gotten, i've been so out of the loop ever since i graduated >< hope your sister does well too in boards ^_^
and omg bipc is fun but i'm sure pcm is just as interesting :O you have a fear of blood and needles so maybe you weren't meant for the OT but rather for doing other big things in like ... let's be positive !!! also, i think you mean apothorax ?? it's part of thorax containing heart and lungs ^^ i was studying about mediastinum today .. it's too much to take in. there's so much information and so little space in my brain .. sometimes i wonder if i will be able to remember all the things _ _;
also, i studied coding in highschool so i don't know how helpful my tips will be for college since you're definitely going to learn much much more there :O i think html css is basic and important ( for example, tumblr's who website theme and post format is based on html css ) javascript, python are important too since they're in demand. i'm afraid we didn't learn a lot in school except what was in theory .. didn't have many lab sessions and the most we did was python and html css since that was the main focus ( i hate python like whatever the hell that is ... )
i also started with hanyu !!! and then came across cha junhwan, yuna kim, ilia malinin and all though the international tournaments and all. i remember being so interested in fs, i watched the 4cc tournaments during classes TT i actually came across sunghoon through junhwan, watched his videos and then moved on like .. i didn't see him at the competitions so i thought he quit :O never looked him up for me to know he was a trainee / idol
AND YEAH fever is truly the queen, i can never get tired of it. border : carnival in itself is an amazing album. what's your fav album of them so far? fav b-side and title tracks? i need to know ><
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seb-owns-these-tatas · 5 years ago
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Witcher of the Night (Chapter 16)
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THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.
UPDATES FOR WITCHER OF THE NIGHT WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY NOW IN MY TIME (GMT +8)
CHAPTER 15.1
WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST
Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader
Summary: A horny and insecure witcher decided to talk what his mind has been keeping; making you see how much of a man he was that was worth to choose and be chosen. 
Warnings: NSFW 18+. (Yep. Again. Love it while it lasts, bb’s. Hehehe.) Some witcher in a rut. Finger sucking. Cream pie. Smut. Size kink. (I meant Geralt’s body build. LMAO *I base this story on the show. Not the game or books.*) an irritated bard? Ahehehehe. Nakedness? Geralt being soft and honest? (*screams*)
A/N: I was drained from the last chapter and I’ve taken a break. I was supposed to not update today due to it. I hope you can lend at least a minute to reblog or give me feedback, ghost readers out there! 💟 There ain’t no moments like this anymore because the plot will take its place on the next chapters! ENJOY WHILE IT LASTS!
TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue!
Disclaimer: PNG’s and pictures used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi (GIF credits: littlechinesedoll)
MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!
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GERALT OF RIVIA WAS IN A RUT.
You were sure he was after being fucked into oblivion by the witcher for countless of times already; taking a lot of orgasms in just about eight hours? He was lucky that he was a mutant. However, in your side? It was unfortunate because your stamina was weaker than his.
Your poor punani has been overworked and wrecked again. Lungs seem to be incapacitated, dangerously reaching the critical level for accepting Geralt's wishes; another round of ceaseless bliss in which you certainly didn't defy. Pants and wheezes were muddled against the mattress as you shoved your face on it, vigorously being burrowed from behind.
Here you thought; feeling mighty and confident that you could take and last for how long his enhanced self would.
Technically, you were wrong. Utterly wrong.
Was it round twenty-five already? Thirty? You may never know because every time Geralt finishes, his girth somehow magically becomes stone hard again like he never spilled himself inside you. If only he wasn't sterile, you were probably about to get pregnant with little witchers somehow based on how he always milks you in; like you were his pet, letting you take it good.
The white wolf's libido was overly developed as well. As you were told by the man, himself. He could go on for hours, days and even weeks, nailing you repeatedly until you have no energy to comprehend what was happening, and you were sure that his enhancement with the desires he had was a perk and also a disadvantage for your weak self who had her virginity taken just days ago.
Your sexual experiences are being expanded and learned by Geralt, not knowing before that you had a size kink of being choked in his own weight above yours, baptizing every nook and space in their home like animals in heat and being treated like you were such a fragile little thing before being corrupted; tainting your once chastised soul.
The witcher was a person who had given you a different outlook in life. Bringing you to a wonderland in the midst of being railed repeatedly; consistent with his rigorous, shameless pounding from the back. Brusque. Sharp. Perfect for the angle that hits the perfect spot, polishing your hole that has sent you ripples and waves of glory.
Geralt's moans were withdrawn, holding back those sounds of pleasure from ponderously watching his girth push and slither inside your heat. His mouth tightly shut and thick eyebrows scrunched in rapture. Aureate eyes intensely concentrated on his hard cock slowly drilling back, keeping his bulbous head in before slowly drawling back like he like watching you be filled with his girth; admiring how you were stretched around his hardened cock.
He'd felt your body intensely tremble beneath his.
Your knees were quivering with every plunge. Warm drizzles of your cunt leaking with a mixture of his fluid and yours together; like art combined with a color that creates a new one. The room smelled like sex and sweat with a scent of fresh grass because of how the windows were wide opened.
Nobody would see you both in such a debauched position, right? you've thought that when Geralt has lowered you down against the mattress, his weight crushing and pinning you down, quickly getting to his job; sticking his girth inside of you like he never would get tired of doing so after basically baptizing the hallway through the second floor.
Elbows began to feel sore. A desperate whine began to gurgle from your dry throat. Hand tightly grabbing onto one of his that laid on the curvatures of your hips, dragging you back to his swollen girth with every shove; filling you over and over like how you deserved because you've been a good girl. Every time he did, Geralt never misses the spot that could bring you into another restless, writhing orgasm.
The filthy sound of skin slapping on skin came with icherous slimy caresses of your nectar coating each other's carnal greed. Noise came with his bedpost hitting the wall like a maddened gorilla raging out of its cage, when all of a sudden; you've heard Kolby's strange bark that seem to come from the first floor, alarming you both that his family has already came back. Yet, here you were, splayed below the witcher and still getting driven to his extremes.
Geralt pulled his hand away from the bed post, leaving a print and a crack of his hand against the wood. His fingers slid through your dangling breasts, palms groping your teat as he began to knead onto it like a cat trying to suckle from his mother; claws out as he tweaked your sensitive nipple in one breast to the other. Simultaneously changing hands as he continued to reach you both to the edge of Nirvana.
Then, you've heard laughter and complaining downstairs.
"Geralt," you started with a mewl, your body being rocked from behind, the sheets thoroughly disheveled from your tiring day activities. His hand that fondled your teat trailed up your body; while the other glided down for what throbbing nub that was needed attention for another release.
His palm gently met your mouth when you've began to moan from his fingers touching your clit, rubbing and circling it the right, pleasuring way while he went on with his ceaseless ramming.
"Hnnng," you whimpered, voice muffled from his large, calloused hand that covered your mouth; hushing you from any noise that could echo out of the room.
The way he was manhandling you does it. From the moment he tried shushing you up, your heat began to clench around him. Your body squirming and thrashing under his skin. Weakened from the sudden action as it made you tremble; feeling the coil beginning to snap with just a few more jabs.
More thuds and unfathomable complaints echoed outside the room. With Jaskier finally knowing what caused the commotion that he somehow managed to be in. Geralt didn't seem to be bothered about the fact that their table has been wrecked; though, the bard might say otherwise.
His plowing slackened when you’ve felt him breath heavily from behind, 
"Shhhh. Quiet down, midget." he clasped his palms tighter on your mewling mouth; hearing his breathless grunts above you was making you squirm in his hold. It didn't take you another lewd moan when Geralt's thick index and middle finger skid in between the pillows of your lips, an act of pacifying your noise down which has gotten an elicit of your juices flowing down your thighs, soaking you more than ever. But, you never did deliberate to suck on those fingers like how your mind has told you.
The smutty action was enough for him to briefly glance down at you, engrossed and captivated by a never expected bustles from his naive, greenhorn of a woman. 
Another weakened moan was muffled beneath the palm that clasped your mouth. Your fingers trying to wrench his own away from slightly pinching on your sensitive clit, dragging you to where you wanted.
Neverland. Nirvana. Heaven. Where ever you could experience bliss.
Or basically Geralt's bed because you were currently being brought to the edge of the rainbows.
He was persistent and continued rubbing on your nub, his thick, long fingers thoroughly drenched from your arousal. 
"Ugh---Hmm. fuck." the white haired witcher deeply grunted and moaned, his jutting hips bottoming out as he continued his desperate, urgent drives. Thrusts turning reckless. Panting breaths like dogs in heat; embracing every bit of his urgency to reach the floating clouds.
Your real name has slipped out of his tongue, sounding so lewd which has taken you over the edge. Knees began to shake as the high took over. Muscles clenching and also your cunt tightly choking his girth to spill his seed, urging him to thoroughly coat your insides. Another loud breathless grunt left his ajar lips; the sweat dripping down his temples as it also drenched his chest from all the activities. His heartbeat was running miles after miles, chasing to catch yours.
"G-Geralt, Geralt, Geralt!" you've salaciously cried out with every sloppy thrusts in the midst of having a muscle spasm; choking in the blast of euphoria when he'd took his hand off your mouth, grabbing onto yours which has been holding onto the headboards for dear life. Hence, as the witcher pulled your hand away; he'd done the unexpected.
Geralt of Rivia has sweetly peppered the back of your hands with honeyed kisses to soothe your convulsion; treating you like he wasn't fucking you to oblivion nor corrupting you from behind.
You've heard his breath hitch. The way he'd dropped his large hand on the mattress over your small ones, gripping onto it hard; you knew he came. He'd panted heavily above you, the new position being surrounded by his gigantic warmth. Your juices soaking your inner thighs as his load shot inside you. All warm and cozy; giving you a fuzzy feeling inside your chest that you couldn't explain.
He never pulled out until he was finished. You were so full of him, his seed dripping out of your cunt when his semi-flaccid cock dragged out of your overused pussy, telling him how he’d filled you more than he planned to. Your knees eventually buckled and lost its will to be useful for you; your face down on the pillow, running short of breath as you planted over the tousled sheets.
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Geralt laid on the bed beside you, his large body built turned to you with an arm tucked below his head. Basking in all his glory and sweat with amber eyes solely worried for your weary form. You sounded like you were wheezing as he hovered over to pull the blankets over your waist, shielding you over the cold, crisp wind of the afternoon dew. Your whole body coated in the satiny sliver of your sweat combined with his and the witcher couldn't help but take in the view that he longed to be habituated once again before you came along.
Did he...actually break you while being drilled? he silently thought at the back of his tousled, half tied chalky white hair.
"Midget?" He softly muttered, using an elbow to peer down before you. Aureate eyes lingering a little bit longer. His fingers extending to graze along the line of sweat that covered your spine before reconsidering, hands ought to brush your disheveled hair away from your face, taking his time as he glided his fingers down through the side of your face.
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He doted on the spent image of your sprawled body in the middle of his bed. Your heart turning more warmer than it ever could when you've felt him watching you over, the blankets glazing atop of your skin as you've closed your eyes, trying to steady back your breathing.
"I'm...fine. Just...spent. Let me...breathe," you breathlessly whispered.
"Hmm."
His faint, vibrating hum slowly calmed the fluttering butterflies flapping their wings inside your stomach. He earnestly cast his eyes over you. The thick pad of his fingers tracing along the hairs of your arm; giving you a shiver, padding down till the tips of yours before strikingly filling in the gaps of your fingers with his. Such a simple action making your heart feel snug with a hint of palpitation from the sudden, unusual gesture from the white wolf.
Well, he was certainly learning.
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You've taken a peek from under the flat fuzz of your pillows; seeing amiable, tired, tender eyes. Rough, large palms delicately scraping through your soft ones, entwined amongst the unkempt silk of sheets from the result of your passionate tupping.
With your eyes still shut, a jaded admission was sent to the latter; assuming things from your negative state of mind. This always happens in the movies, right? the small voice in the back of your mind stated. After all the blissful moments, complication and problems tries to hinder over the blithe that wanted you to believe that this was a much of a miracle to happen.
It was subtly telling you that your presence in their world had a time limit because you didn't belong to their world in the first place. Salt came pinching down your heart at the sudden realization of that; getting a gist of feeling by choosing to live in their world forever, there were instances that would get you coming back from your dimension. Every felicitious moment feeling like it was all temporary and a fleeting scene in your mind.
The idea struck like a lightning. You didn't belong to their world; nor do you fit in.
Such a change of heart that you wanted to scurry home since the first day you've arrived; thinking that everything was just a dream or a nightmare that couldn't wake you up. But, in this exact moment; you felt like not wanting to go home.
"Why do I feel like you wouldn't come back after your hunt?" you weakly muttered; brushing off the infectious thought that could bring the felicity down; pulling yourself closer to him. You've tossed the bad shadows trying to lure you in as you've focused on the golden light that Geralt could let you see through. His warm breath fanned your face as you heavily sighed out the worry crippling out of your chest.
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"You're overthinking." he deeply rasped, hearing him breath steady; sounding like his declaration had a double meaning. His thumbs brushed over your knuckles as he continued to reassure your troubled self, "---I never leave nor would I plan to. My family is my home,"
Geralt collected his thoughts, breaking through the spell you've always had to cast him in. Only your exquisite scent being the fire to thaw his walls down. It took him seconds before bluntly saying his next words, making you flutter your eyes open to see him softly smiling back at you. His tone warm, comforting and nesh for your sensitive, soft heart soul.
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"---you are also my home. I'll always come back to you---always will find you,"
Those words that he stunningly said made your heart skip a beat. The cicatrix glowing beneath the sheets without you knowing, ecstatic of what has come out from his lips as a burst of bliss spread right through your chest.
You've felt the adrenaline rush from his sudden admission and change of aura; abruptly making you nail your elbows on the table, repeatedly blinking back at the witcher when you've felt the balmy cloud of warmth spread around your eyes; close enough for you to cry and you languidly leaned down to his very peaceful face to softly give him a kiss on the lips in which he gladly reciprocated.
No. This wasn't sweet nothings where he tries to win over your heart. His words was a declaration of breaking those walls down for you. It was a key for you to come hopping in, an invitation of seeing the real him; his vulnerable side that nobody ever sees.
Hence, this was the first time you've had someone showing you what it felt to be important, needed and cared for. A person with real intentions. Sensations which you never knew it existed or believed that you would ever get to experience such.
Nevertheless, it took you a trip to another dimension just to have it.
Your mouth left his with a euphonious twang. There was no rush to the kiss or any type of greed. Just a succulent sharing of what you wanted him to feel from your quiet response of what he said. It needed no words of approval or even a shedding of your tears; erasing the worries away if you started bawling your eyes out from his secrets that he whispered. His thick brows furrowed in a questionable expression, intently eyeing your dewy peepers staring back at him. Utterly fond. The witcher feeling as if there was profound affection deep within your eyes as you tried to shield them over with that twinkling gaze of yours.
He knew what he was seeing or feeling from you. But, he chose to ignore as of the moment.
"Jaskier's fond of you," he abruptly admitted, downright apathetic; his gravel tone expressing a mixture of interest and a little bit of doubt, not for you but for himself.
That simple display of what you've visibly felt made your heart soften a lot more than it ever could. Finding it hard to believe that this person slash mutant in front of you also had his own issues, sounding diffident with just conferring about this surprising fact he noticed from his friend who seemed to be catching feelings for you that certainly was quite difficult to believe.
You were biting the tips of your tongue from saying anything further more, pulling back from driving too fast that maybe Geralt was falling behind.
"Jaskier? Your Jaskier? The bard who always tries to ruin my day? you’re hallucinating, Geralt." you wanted to snort from his accusation.
Geralt has given you a dirty look, appearing to look like he has issues with you that he didn't want to expand as he kept his silence and continued to send a grimace. Was he hallucinating? Were he hallucinating when he'd read those words upon your lips hours ago? Was your endearment just a slip of your tongue? A simple caught up in the heat of the moment?
Was he also just hallucinating when you’ve called him ‘love’?
"Am I, really?" the witcher stated flat, sending a displeased hum as he subtly played with the softness of your fingers clutched to his bigger ones.
Your eyes turned wide from his deadpan, "What did I do? That banter sounded sarcastic, kitty!"
The latter slowly blinked, dragging a sigh as his baritone timbre turned stern and also meek no matter how hard he tried to cover it up from the roughness that he wanted it to sound like, you could read between the lines and sure enough, he was self-effacing from his friend who was also fond of you.
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"Do...you like the bard?" he hesitatingly trailed off. The question ending with a pause as it sounded completely unforthright. You've given him a tender beam; child like and masking with nothing but innocence, affection and understanding, "Go on. I'm listening. Tell me what's on your mind," you started, seeing his tight lipped mouth shut. Those amber eyes briefly looking away from you,
"---Come on, please? Let me understand and see through the good heart that I've always believed in,"
Geralt gave it a moment. Exactly a minute as you've accepted the tranquil silence with him. Such silence that you have never imagined to be so comforting because back in your apartment, the stillness was eerie and cold; imagining hands trying to take your soul away from surviving a life by working in another country where you had no one but you.
"You're...significant to me." his glowing amber eyes turned heartfelt, shooting warmth through your skin and chest, "---you are a lot to handle. An unorthodox in my dimension. Yet, despite that, you're the havoc I didn't know I needed,"
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"You're calling me chaotic. How sweet of you," you deadpanned, snorting from his metaphors that got you successfully rolling your eyes back at him.
"Your existence brought me sheer confusion about you. But, I'd rather have that befuddlement than to not be with you,"
Destiny brought you to him. Those assumptions he'd taken into consideration was now taken into account. Thus, destiny just needed this to not fuck it up. It shouldn't because he much rather not imagine how it would happen nor how he would be able to accept such fate laid before him. 
"Jaskier's...a friend---he's important to me," he continued, feeling your other hand fall onto the side of his face; soft fingers tracing along the scar on his forehead and cheekbones with that glimmer in your eyes that make him want to give you another kiss; readable in your peepers was the acceptance he never knew he needed so badly, "---No matter how annoying he is. He's still my companion. A real...friend. I've seen how comfortable you are with him, saw how compatible you were with the bard,"
You've stopped brushing your fingers along his marks. Your free hand sluggishly propping below your chin as you've peered down. A small grin curling your lips, "When have you been a love guru? Does this version of you come up with a graphic chart that tells how many percentages do I seem to be compatible with Jaskier?"
He kept silent, staring straight into your eyes with a lukewarm expression; not understanding your references.
You've given him a faint raise of your brow, skeptically looking at him with an amused flicker of your peepers, "You've seen us that night. Explains why Jaskier was ranting about the door you've broken,"
Geralt kept his mouth tightly shut, shortly looking away before giving you a pensive response, "I've already fixed it---and you know it was not just about that,"
Pulling your closed fist under your chin, you've tilted your head to the side. Pleased by his tamed reaction as you've leaned closer to his face, adoring Geralt's sublime features that never fails to charm you everyday. His charisma totally knocking your wits out as you could finally see more of his true self.
You started, your words smoothly dancing per word; sounding utmost sincere and in wonder, "People in your world say witchers don't feel emotions," even being disregarded like they weren't humans, you silently added much more to yourself when you paused to talk, "---Well, my witcher is exactly the opposite because you're full of it even though you sound unenthusiastic all the time---comes with the mutations, I guess?"
The soft look in his eyes warmed your soul. Attentive of the stars that seem to float inside those amber pair; looking like he'd caught them for you. He stayed silent, never breaking his gaze away from you nor planning to move away from your body close to his.
"Do you want me to be with the bard?" your question caught him off guard, keenly reading through what your eyes wanted to say. The query sounding like it was just a quip.
"Will that make you happy?"
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Geralt warily asked, completely earnest of what he said that made you bite the inner plump of your lips. There was a long amount of silence, contemplating what made him think that way, even considering the idea of never getting in the way when you'll choose another person than him. Was he even real?
Your smile fell a little at the question, swiftly unwrapping your hands entwined with his which ignited a tight frown from the witcher when he miscalculated the sudden gesture. But, those dreadful thoughts ceased when you've poked his muscular chest, the part where his heart loudly beat beneath the pad of your index finger.
"Will that make...YOU happy?" you slowly emphasized and returned the question, intently gazing above him. When he never answered and stayed quiet, it was the right time to say words that couldn't be kept to yourself. You've forgotten to bite your tongue from saying anything further less.
"---But, YOU make me happy, Geralt of Rivia. Isn't that enough reason to choose you?"
Keen golden eyes deeply gazed into yours, as genuine than it has ever been before; sucking you in and having no chance to escape from the resplendent color of his hues. Geralt moved beneath to help himself by using his elbow, his sudden elevation making you tilt your head back to see him deeply staring, mouth turning into a tight straight line as he rasped.
"Even if it takes for your life back in your world to be taken away from you---fuck." he abruptly stopped in the middle of his sentence, briskly taking a glimpse of the door behind you when he could hear stealthy padded footsteps hiking up the stairs. 
Jaskier.
Geralt sharply sat his back on the headboard. His silvery, unkempt half-tied hair moving as he does so, the white sheets pooling just below his torso. He looked bedraggled and utterly sweaty which made it feel so fulfilling to have him in your presence looking like that. A miraculous snack. You could never have this opportunity back in earth.
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You bit your lips from keeping yourself from grinning, curiously eyeing him as you mused. He deliberately scanned your exposed back, "What? What's happening?"
The latter took no questions and quickly pulled the covers over your shoulders as you laid on your front, slightly elevated with the help of your arms tucked under. He loudly sighed, sitting back on the wooden board. Recognizable footfall thumping louder and closer before a wind up bard barged in the room without knocking or announcing his presence.
"You two!" Jaskier exclaimed, ceasing midway in the middle of the room; looking lost and piqued. His pretty face morphed into a tight frown to find you and Geralt utterly rumpled under the sheets. You tossed a look over your shoulder to see the bard straight up crashing inside like there has been no lock or whatsoever.
Geralt motioned with his hands, palms on either side to show how taken aback he was from his friend who came trudging in like he owned the place. His face hinting with displeasure. Wordlessly gesturing towards the bard with a 'What the fuck?' face.
You skeptically hushed whispers beside the witcher, timidly pulling the covers over your wild head, looking stunned as you exclaimed, "I thought you locked the room? I told you to lock it!---What if it was Cirilla?!---Don't you know what a lock is, Geralt?!"
Despite of your panicking and embarrassed state, he was entirely the opposite as he sounded lackadaisical, going on by glaring at the bard who has his face scrunched in utmost displeasure, "I didn't expect them to arrive home this early." the witcher rolled his eyes from his galled self and sent a scowl towards the bard.
Jaskier raised his brow in disbelief, "Early? We've been gone for 8 hours, Geralt!"
"Well, I thought you'll be gone for at least a day and not barge in our room after we had a 'moment', Bard. A knock would’ve suffice."
Another set of padded footsteps, this time it sounded like this person was merrily hopping through the hallway. Until a ball of Ashen hair peeked through the opened doorway with a short Hirikka standing in the middle of the threshold.
"I'm here---woah!" Cirilla seemed to be knocked out of her boots when she saw you emerging from under the covers, bashfully covering your chest with the sheets, looking mortified by everyone seeing you in that kind of state. You were glaring at the witcher who tossed your off the side for a while as he dealt with his scandalous and crazy family.
"---I knew it!" the princess of Cintra loudly clapped and jumped on her feet. Her excitement immediately dying down when she noticed that you both weren't actually clothed beneath the white blankets. She firmly crossed her arms, her nose scrunching in disgust, "---Also, gross! Please do lock the doors next time!"
She whistled at the flabbergasted Hirikka who was sniffing the whole room in bewilderment; stout stopping before the bard as he sniffed him loudly enough for Jaskier to wave his face off away from his face. Cirilla whistled another, catching the beast's attention and making Geralt wince due to his heightened hearing, "Kolby, let's go! I'm giving you a nice warm bath!" before she shut the door closed behind them when he'd run off towards the princess.
Geralt and Jasker were giving each other stern glares; seeming to be in a challenge where one shouldn't back down despite of how mean it appeared to be like.
Jaskier was the first to talk, beginning his interrogation, "Who ruined the dining table?"
You swallowed the butterflies wanting to fly out of your throat, lifting a shaky finger to point at the witcher who was still as he sat on his side of the bed, "I’m definitely not the person who has superpowers here---It's him," but, Geralt seemed to answer in the same time with you.
"No one."
Jaskier didn't seem to want and take everyone's bullshit as he crossed his arms in front of you both. Geralt's clothes on one hand and yours in the other that made a blush go straight up your whole face, burning the dignity that was left. You wanted to yell from how irresponsible you were for leaving your clothes all around the house when you promised yourself that it'll be fixed after your activity.
You didn't expect Geralt to take eight hours---or you did?----and actually forgot what was needed to remember.
"Oh, no one, Geralt? I suppose this shirt is also owned by no one, considering how unclad you are right now? Hmm. Would this tunic come from the Hirikka then?" the toubadour raised his hand where Geralt's black under tunic has been balled up.
Jaskier dramatically puffed out a sigh, sounding like it was the end of the world for what has welcomed them when they came back from their weekly visit for Cuthbert. He held forth about your sudden shenanigans around the house like a father delivering a tirade.
"We leave for eight hours and this is what you both welcomed us in," pause. "---A broken bloody table where we dine!" Another pause as he threw Geralt's clothes at his face in which he caught it perfectly, "---your clothes everywhere in the house like snakes who shed their skins anywhere they go!"
Lastly, his foot fidgeted on the wooden floors, tapping in anxiety as he remembered that tiny scratch he had seen on his beloved musical instrument, entirely galled from the wound it received like it was his baby.
"---and also my lute---my beloved lute falling on the floors! You've hurt her!"
"We didn't touch your lute," Geralt's response was tepid, lazily blinking back at the enraged bard who stood in the middle of the room.
Jaskier's raised his hands to his hips, raising a finger and opening his mouth, expression wild and ready to send another harangue before back paddling inside his train of thoughts.
He briefly shut his mouth, tilting his head to the side as he wondered out loud, "Oh, maybe the air pushed it to fall. I remembered how I left the windows opened too. However---!"
Geralt cut his verbal onslaught, his gaze narrowing at Jaskier who also didn't back down at sending a nasty lour at the entertained witcher.
"I'll fix whatever is needed to fix, bard. Stop your whining," you've felt the bed squeak and bounce. Geralt slipped his legs out of the sheets, feet plopping down the floors as he heavily sighed. It needed power; manpower for Jaskier to leave the room and Geralt knew he wouldn't leave until he pushes him out of the threshold.
The witcher stood tall and firm, completely au naturel from head to foot like how he have been when he was a baby, stark naked without being moved by the idea that Jaskier was in the same room as you. His bare ass never shaking him off and so does the bard.
"Leave. Out of my chambers, Jaskier."
Geralt sauntered to where he is. Your eyebrows raising in amusement as you've marveled over the witcher in the nude. His beautiful, rugged bare back on show with that A+ rating of his derriere in which you freely tried to memorize inside your head.
Though, you couldn't help but take a glimpse of Jaskier who seemed unfazed by this whole nakedness he was seeing; like he was familiar of the whole thing and the white wolf's dangly bits hanging and it has peaked your curiosity.
Do they bathe together then?
The bard has seen your amused smile with a skeptical brow raised to what you were witnessing. Thus, he peeked around Geralt to acknowledge your curiosity; pointing at you with a roguish grin, "That face tells that you have been swimming deep inside the vast depths of the sea, wondering why I am not bothered by the witcher's nudity---"
"Jaskier," Geralt sent a tired warning and held his slim shoulders, forcefully turning him around as he pushed him forward, towards the door.
"---It's because I have rubbed chamomile onto his lovely bottom before! It was true! I never lied! It was a part of the rules in becoming the rightful travel companion until you came along and began rubbing it for himself! Though, I doubt you did it to join our adventures!---"
You couldn't help but stifle your tee-hee from his admission. Finding their friendship amazing to the point that he does it for Geralt; receiving nothing but his altruism and adventures that the witcher has shared together with him.
Geralt loudly closed the door behind Jaskier; his mouth running on and on about how such a change of habits it has been when you came in their life. He'd knock a lot of times, calling out for the both of you and trying to want and barge in your moment but your white wolf finally knew what a lock is and slid the wooden block over the hook to lock his chambers.
"He seriously rubs chamomile on your butt?"
The skyclad man turned on his heel, raising a skeptical brow as you tried to focus hard on his face and not his body that stood before you.
"I guess that silence means yes, then. Oof, such bromance! Don't you think I'm the one who's actually becoming a hindrance between your platonic relationship with your bard?"
"Ridiculous." He took several steps closer, making you turn your head from becoming too flustered over his glorious, scarred body that he certainly isn't afraid or diffident about his imperfections anymore after you've treated them like it was a part of him that you will always accept. Geralt sat on your side, reaching over the bedside table to look beneath the drawers.
The latter placed a small, transparent bottle on your hand. A clear yellowish tone of liquid inside as you stared at it, thoroughly intrigued, "What's this? Is it another one of your witcher potions?"
Geralt hummed in negation, lifting his calloused hand to take your chin in between his fingers, turning your head to look at his ardent, shining amber, "Eucalyptus Oil. Took it from Cirilla's chambers. For you---For later. Perhaps, our recent activities had you feeling utterly spent,"
You've blinked, taken aback from his plans for whatever it is he wanted. Though, it didn't take you to put two on two together to know where his plans would take you, "Why are you---Oh. I know. I definitely know what you want." pause. "---you are insatiable, Geralt."
Geralt gently nudged your chin, tilting it up to his advantage as he leaned down to press a soft buss to your lips. Once again, he'd took your breath away by how tender he was handling you. The mere opposite of what people see and expected from because they never had the chance to walk through him; they didn’t have the courage to know who he really was.
His thumb that rested upon your chin were easily replaced with his lips, kissing you on the spot before gliding the dimples of his nose to yours, subtly giving you an Eskimo kiss.
"My overly developed lechery certainly comes from the mutation,"
Geralt's mouth lifted into a small, unusual beam, fluttering his eyes closed as he concentrated on you and that specific comfort he found. Questions came hitting him like stones, breaking the mirthful bubble that he was brought in.
He didn't want you to go home anymore because he'd found home in you.
But, what if fate had move mountains and threw his happiness away again? Leaving him no choice but to watch you go?
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Taglist for WOTN: (Strikethrough means I can’t tag you, bb’s! 💖) @alyxkbrl​​ @himarisolace​​ @barkingbullfrog​​ @ayamenimthiriel​​ @hellodevilslittlesister​​ @vania-marie​​ @spookypeachx​ @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us​​ @nympeth​​ @amirahiddleston​​ @gabethelobster​​ @dreaming-about-starfleet​​ @uncoolcloudyhead​​ @melaninstylezz​​ @psychosupernatural​​ @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer​​ @marvelousell​​ @kingniazx​​ @angelias134​​ @tapismyforte​​ @chook007​​ @covid-donotenter​​ @winter-moons​ @cheesecakeisapie​ @silverkitten547​​ @angelofthor​​ @carrieannewaywardson, @plantingmum​, @stuckupstucky​, @shesthelastjedi​, @a--1--1--3​, @gutfucks​​,
Overall witcher taglist: @pizza-eater-i-ate-the-pizza​
General taglist for Henry: @agniavateira​​, @iloveyouyen​​, @rahdaleigh​​,
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dashielldeveron · 4 years ago
Text
Viper VIII: Inter Vivos
*author slaps bumper sticker across ass that reads I BREAK FOR QUARANTINE* 
Summary: You have a thought that only Steve Urkel and black-out drunks can have: did I do that?
Warnings: swears, the law. Murder/death. Stupid internet comments.
Show (3719) Comments on “There is Nothing New Under the Sun, But You Are New in Your Conglomeration.”
skellingtonbabey: thanks for putting all of the *gestures vaguely* into historical context. no one’s ever bothered to explain this shit to me, especially in such simple and thorough language. it’s like every other resource i try to learn from is stylistically designed to make me more confused.
readyplayer69: Just because it’s from the 60s and is racist doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have intrinsic value based on the goal towards which it was working. You’re a fucking lunatic. I have a degree in political science, so I know what the fuck I’m about. Though some of the protests may have excluded the minorities you’re talking about, it doesn’t mean that they weren’t ultimately working towards good fucking policies for everyone involved. It’s not like they were doing anything important then anyway; white people had to be the mouthpiece for…Read More
volcanolesbian: bro have u seen the incels freaking out over this???? it got linked in their cursed forum and they SO BADLY wanted u 2 hate women now. like you can regress from being a feminist once you’ve woken up. they’re giving u shit bc you called out the racist terrorists who were active in their community lmao. i can post screenshots if u want. But bruv it’s like they haven’t read anything you’ve written before lol
mozARTsexandviolins: I get when you say that ingenuity spawns ideals for the greater good, but don’t you think tradition has its place? How do we know if the new can spawn the greater good? How do we judge ourselves? Who watches the watchers?
simpleplan2eatthedirt: cool cool nice nice.  protesting is awesome, but be sure to get out there to fucking VOTE, people!!! Here’s a link to register to vote.
EaterJohn: Hello. It is nice to hear from you again, Epiales. Always a treat. Very insightful commentary on modern and past protests. I didn’t know about all of the revolutions in Europe 1848. I’ve send this to my co, and it’s already sparked a good conversation about who we are as a protesting people as we stand in history. Again, sorry to bother you, but I was wondering when the next article in your “Aeneid Autopsies: Current Crimes Reflected in Ancient Times” series was going to be released? It’s my…Read More
horneyvulcanbasterd: @mozARTsexandviolins Is that a Star Trek reference? Bc if so the answer’s Starfleet Command lol
MrsKatsukiBakagou: epiales. you have watered my crops and harvested my fields. thank you for the food.
mightiestavengereatmyass: eat shit and die, commie scum. your just a hired propagandaist for the fucking alt-left, aren’t you? You have no right to be running your collum in a real newspaper or on this fucking website. sending u anthrax in the mail would be too cool a death for you. I hope your so-called terrorist groupsfind out where you live and fucking murder you in the middle of the night. fukcs like you are the reason the country is going to shit the police have a total constitutional right int aht jurisdiction to enter. They had a no knock…Read More
fuckyouit’sjanuary: @readyplayer69 [image attached] [image description: blonde woman with caption reading, “I can tolerate racism, but I draw the line at looting the local target]
saltnpepa!!diner707: Hi. I’m trying to cite this piece in an essay, but your publisher isn’t listed on your website. Would you suggest using the NYT as the source in my bib? If it helps, this is due new week; idk if this will run in the NYT by then. Thanks
“I’m sending someone on a grocery run this morning,” said Tom, thumbs tapping away on his phone, “Do you need anything? Want anything?”
You glanced up from your laptop, closing it as much as you could without the light dimming. “I think I’m good, unless you used the last of the shredded cheese at some point.”
“Shredded…cheese,” he said under his breath, typing, “You mentioned capri-suns the other day.”
“Yeah, but I can tolerate the nasty, new flavour. No rush. Here’s a wild idea,” you said, and you waited until he looked up from his phone, a couple of ungelled curls falling over his forehead. “What if—now, don’t dismiss me as crazy; hear me out—what if we went to the store ourselves?”
“Again, no.” Tom grasping his coffee by the round of the mug, despite there being a perfectly functional handle. “Stop pressing me for it.”
“I’m not asking to go to a damn Broadway play. I’m asking to go to the closest 7-11,” you said, jiggling your leg and then making a conscious decision to stop fidgeting, instead scooting your chair closer under the table so that the arms slid underneath.
Tom hummed, his eyes not leaving his phone screen, but when you didn’t continue, he raised an eyebrow as he scowled at you. “Broadway is shut down because of the bomb threat.”
“Fuck off; you know what I meant.”
“Viper,” said Tom, and he locked his phone to set it on his napkin. “Do you want to get assassinated?”
“The term assassination implies I’m getting murdered for political reasons instead of the copious other crimes you’ve had me commit. So, I invite it.” Put your hands on the table where he can see them; it makes you seem more trustworthy. “Does 7-11 have an open carry policy?”
“If it’s any consolation, the renovated office should be waiting for you when you return.”
“It’s not.” You lifted your mug to your lips. “Working from here only makes me feel like a damn bureaucrat. Like I have no stake in the matter. I don’t want to become detached from everything; I might make a callous decision and send people where they can’t come back.”
“Keep watching yourself. If you stay on guard,” said Tom, running his middle finger around the rim of his mug, “then you won’t stray from me.”
“I’m useless here.”
“Then maybe you should become accustomed to the idea of being useless.”
Swallowing, you stared down into your tea. “There’s only so much I can get done through answering emails. Not to mention I hate answering emails. That’s how you get more emails.”
“Harrison has been telling me that your schematics have been more thorough since you’ve been holed up in here.” Tom tipped his mug all the way back to get the last of his coffee. “You’re still being just as productive, if not more methodical.”
“Did you mean obsessive? I have—I’ve had too much time to think. I’d rather not be alone with my thoughts, if I can help it.”
***
You could only read so much before losing your mind. You could only deal with so many of the same exact problems over and over again for lower level soldiers. You could only chart so many stars. You could only read so much fanfiction (if your identity thief were tracking your phone, he’d probably be baffled as to why you kept reading fic for fandoms you weren’t even a part of due to the desire for new ideas).
You could only give Glory Pham so many excuses as to why you’re not with her in person at the Museum of Natural History.
Sucking in through your teeth, you hovered your fingers above the keyboard.
Dear Ms. Pham,
Glad to hear John Mulaney’s signed on. Next step would be to ensure de Blasio doesn’t directly interact with him, given their history. Perhaps I should proof his set beforehand?
Unfortunately, I regret to inform you that I cannot attend the briefing in person yet again. I am currently indisposed, seeing as I am currently in hiding at my hot boss’s house, due to how dead I might be should I leave it (thus the basis of its appeal). Not to mention that if you criticise my blazer choices again, I shall peel the skin off your perfectly made-up face. Get fucked; getting your eyeliner tattooed on was a hell of a decision.
You shook your head, backspaced the last few lines, and stretched towards the wicker end table to grab your glass of pink lemonade, and you stole a glance at Tom’s work as you did so. A couple of files spread across his white wicker lounger (two blue files [socials of the family], two green [recent bids], a yellow [Manhattan locations], and a brown [requests from politicians, upper East side]). The pink sticky-notes had your and his written exchanges and edits on certain papers, and his laptop was open, the screen dimmed, while he copied something into a notebook with his cell phone held between his shoulder and his ear, just listening to the computerised voice.
He had joined you on the back porch to work remotely, claiming he couldn’t go into the city today due to the absence of news on Zendaya—if any information arose, he’d said he wanted your diagnosis immediately.
You wiped your forehead with your sleeve as a sweat drop slinked behind Tom’s ear. Even Tessa wouldn’t run in the heat; she’d curled up by the porch railing, her tail slapping against her water bowl. In an experiment to see if she wanted to spend some time outside, you’d slid the glass door open for Trout, to which she turned around to retreat to the bedroom.
Not all of the clothes you’d ordered had arrived yet, so you were stuck wearing autumnal clothes with long sleeves. To exacerbate matters, you were constantly moving—jiggling your leg, tapping your fingers—you couldn’t sit still for very long anymore; you had taken to pacing the porch when you couldn’t concentrate on the stars.
(Once, Tom had come out at night to check on you, wiping the sleep out of his eyes and sitting in silence with you. He’d made you go to bed after a while, claiming you’d run yourself into the ground if you kept this restlessness up.)
When your phone beeped, the both of you jolted at the sound. Tom hung up on the robotic voice as you scrambled to your phone, and he bent your way. “Is it Zendaya?”
Biting the inside of your cheek, you shook your head. “No. Looks like it’s a jailbreak.”
Tom sighed, his shoulders heaving as he eased back in his seat. “Where from?”
“I don’t even care,” you said, letting your phone fall to your lap. You slumped back in your chair, shielding your eyes from the sun with your arm. But you straightened yourself again and checked. “From Central. They don’t even know who’s all escaped yet.”
“It’d be too much of a gift if New York City would fucking relax for five minutes.”
“It seems like it’s in more uproar than usual lately,” you said, sipping through the reusable straw of your pink lemonade. “Do you suppose it’s our fault?”
Tom took a moment to pluck his damp t-shirt away from his chest. “I don’t think we’re instigating. If anything, we’re simply reacting to chaos.” He stood up and stretched, raising his arms above his head—his biceps strained at the sleeves, and the hem rose above his v-lines. “Unless you’re doing something I don’t know about.”
Ah, casual suspicion. “You’ve caught me,” you said as he approached Tessa and crouched next to her, “I’ve been running a koi smuggling gig on the side.”
“Why koi?” He held out his hand for Tessa to sniff, and she readily accepted his hand for pats. “Are they hard to get?”
“I don’t know,” you said, shrugging, “but I’ve been wondering if they’d be able to survive in your grist mill pond. You look through that water straight to the bottom, nothing living in your way. Just rocks and old equipment.”
Tom sat against the porch railing with a jittery Tessa partially in his lap. “Should we get some?”
“Oh, fuck off, Tom,” you said, grinning, a sweat drop falling onto your mousepad as you shook your head, “You can’t entertain every little pipedream I have.”
“Watch me. What do you want for Christmas?”
You ducked your head, biting your lip. “Promise me something.”
“Provided it’s not my head on a stake, I will,” he said, scratching Tessa behind her ears and cringing a bit when she stretched to lick his face.
“Then we’re going in person to the pre-opening fundraising gala for the Gawain Diamond.”
Tom narrowed his eyes. “Viper.”
“Bitch, I got John Mulaney to sign on to do the opening monologue, and he’s probably gonna roast de Blasio again. I’m not missing that.”
Your phone blared an alert again, and both of you held your breath as you unlocked it.
“Got a list of prisoners who escaped. Small group. Delores, Larson, Duncan, Mays, Selvin,” you said, “There’s more, but I don’t know them. Tell us something important, by God. Anyway, we’re going. I didn’t say I was going alone, did I? You’ll be there. I’ll be safe, and you’ll be safe.”
His jaw shifting to the side, Tom stilled his hand on Tessa’s back, and then he lifted it to flick sweat off his neck. “How many of us maximum can you get in?”
“It’s a fundraiser for idiotic rich people; if there are too many people without a name, they’ll be noticed.”
“It can’t be just us.”
“Why? Afraid you can’t protect me on your own?”
“Now, don’t start that.” Tom herded Tessa off his lap and onto her outside bed. “I’m not falling for it.”
“Yes, yes, I’m fully aware you’re capable of ripping me in half,” you said, draining your pink lemonade, the airy suction coming through your straw (almost loud enough that you couldn’t hear Tom’s sputtering over it—almost—and his phone beeping). “Want me to get that?”
“Bring it here,” he said, and you snatched it while he sat on the railing, dangling his legs off the side.
“It’s,” you said, eyebrows shooting to your hairline as you read the little notification, “It’s a tweet from Zendaya.” You tossed it to him to unlock and leant on the railing next to him, arm grazing his thigh with a heightened awareness of how close you were to his sweaty, sweaty abdomen. No! No time to thirst. Friend time.
Tom unlocked his phone and held it at your eye level, turning it horizontally as he pulled up the tweet.
ZENDAYA (@ZendayaMedias): Felt cute. Might delete later.
[video]
Tom pulled up the clip, waiting for it to load. “Why didn’t she post it to instagram, then?”
“The finer details of social media are an enigma. Do I look like I know,” you said, and his thumb hovered over the play button.
He cranked the volume up before pressing play, having to try twice due to how slippery his fingers were. “I wonder if Haz has seen this yet.”
A vertical shot of a murky, grey sky from the bow of a boat and dark ocean as far as the camera can see. It pans across the starboard side, and this boat is the only one in sight.
Only the sound of waves striking the boat.
The camera tilts down. Zendaya’s writhing on the deck, furiously straining against rope bonds that line up the entirety of her arms and up her calves; she’s yelling furiously at the person behind the camera through duct tape.
Scuffed, black boots roll Z to the starboard gunwale. She’s still fighting, still shouting.
The camera trucks to the right; before, the pair of cinderblocks attached to her feet were concealed. It returns to her face. A glove grabs part of her hair to show the weights tied into it. She bucks up to headbutt the camera; he avoids it.
Tom clenched his free hand on his thigh. “We’re running another scan for that black-stubble bell jackass from her instagram; did we have any fucking leads at all? What’s his fucking motivation? So he slept with her, allegedly; did she say no to a second time? Doesn’t fucking merit—”
The boot kicks the cinderblocks off the boat, and the camera tilts down to follow the trail of bubbles.
It’s quiet.
But then the camera pans to portside, where the guy in the picture with Zendaya is similarly tied up, but he’s openly weeping and shaking his head. He’s got something drawn on his forehead in black marker. The cameraman steps closer to focus on it: it’s a circle with an upward curve resting on top of it.
He’s still wearing the bell necklace.
Then the cameraman backs away and raises a gloved hand, in which a gun is aimed at the other’s forehead.
The bullet goes through the circle, and the bell rattles as he’s kicked off. Fewer bubbles.
Then the camera tilts up to show off the boat’s surroundings: a black and barren ocean, as far as the eye can see.
When the video started to loop, Tom switched his screen off, his phone hanging loosely in his grip. You released of his thigh once you noticed you’d grabbed onto him, and the evidence of your touch faded as the fabric relaxed.
His eyes glossed over at the blank screen, and his mouth opened before closing again, running his tongue over his lower lip. Tom brought a fist to his mouth and furrowed his brow, his hand hardly concealing the growing tremble of his jaw.
You took a step away from him, rubbing your arms as you ducked your head. “I’m going back inside,” you said, hoping Trout felt like being clutched to your chest, “I’m cold.”
***
The next morning, your mouth felt heavy and dry. You sneaked out as the sun was rising to go hide in the woods surrounding Tom’s house, but you talked yourself out of it. He would make too much of a fuss if he couldn’t find you—but you could delay the inevitable conversation even further. Both of you had separated and kept to yourselves the rest of the evening. Kept quiet.
So you rounded the outside of the house. You’re not camping out in a fucking copse. When you reached the pond, you scanned it for a dry place to hide, but nothing really held any appeal, save for the rounded platform where the mill wheel used to spin, its spoke notches overflowing with moss. You managed to get to it after scrambling alongside the stones for a few minutes, and though it didn’t look like you could get down the same way, you settled against the wall, scraping some moss out of the notches so that your feet could rest more comfortably in them.
(Dr. Prine called ten minutes after you sent her the email. “Did you send me the correct article?”
“Yeah,” you said, rubbing your face wash onto your cheeks, “Considering it’s the only one I have ready, and I can’t bring myself to write anything. I tried. I just fucking can’t.”
“I don’t think you want this published at this point in your life.”
“I don’t fucking care. Whoever’s using my pen name probably knows who the fuck I am in general. Just publish it.”
“Honey,” said Dr. Prine, her voice softening (and fumbling, like she was holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder), “You should probably rethink this. It’s going to connect Epiales you back to Viper you. Get some sleep; eat breakfast. Call me back then.”
“It’s an appropriate article for the political climate.”
“Not for your personal life.”
“I don’t fucking care,” you said between splashing water on your face, “I don’t. It’s a good fucking article, and hopefully, it can affect people for the upcoming election. Fuck self-preservation. Send it to the Times already.”
“Did I dial the wrong number?”
“Hilarious, Dr. Prine. I know it’s not the smartest thing for me to do, but I can’t—absolutely can’t—write anything. I don’t know for how long, but for now, at least.” You blotted your face dry. “I’ve got to meet standard deadlines if I’m keeping my column. It’s really only dangerous if Tom reads it and makes the connection, and his brain is offline right now.”
And so Aeneid Autopsies: Current Crimes Reflected in Ancient Times, chapter twelve, “The Political Tradition as Mob Rule,” would be published on Saturday. It’s a little too in the know about the mafia, but hey, you had written it on a whim a month ago, and you were known for your extensive research, anyway. It most likely shouldn’t be too different from your other exposés, though they weren’t on topics that were deliberately misleading the public by what information was out there.
The more you thought about it, it was almost like you wanted to reveal yourself, wanted to get stabbed while you were sleeping, because there’s an overwhelming question rolling around in your brain like a mis-weighted shooter marble: is this—)
“It’s not your fault.”
With crossed arms, Tom leant against the stone wall, his leg bent back for his bare foot to rest flat against it. He glanced sideways at you, sitting on your mill wheel perch almost halfway across the pond, but closer to the far side than to him.
He’s got major bedhead, his curls just fucking flopping about out of his part, and even from where you are, his face burned red amidst wet tracks trailing down it. Still, thank God for little mercies—his biceps were fucking straining the sleeves of his white t-shirt, and those idiotic, blessed grey sweatpants were low on his hips.
You lifted your head from your knees but still clutched them to your chest. “You’re not going out, then?”
“Of course not,” Tom said, and he wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Can’t be crying during a meeting, yeah?”
“Been boxing?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you get any sleep last night?”
“Not really.”
He ran his tongue over his lower lip and sighed, and then he slid his hands into his pockets, his eyes glossing over while he watched the moss you’d picked off float in the pond.
You’re not going to fucking cry. Tom came out here for a reason. He has a purpose. All you have to do is wait.
Eventually, he said, “You’re avoiding what I said.”
You tilted your head.
“Listen, I know you’re beating yourself up about it. It’s not your fault this happened. None of this is your fault. Hey.” Tom tapped the wall, the travelling reverberations making you look up at him. “Whoever’s doing this is doing it of their own volition and not because of you. You hold no culpability for this.”
“Bruh,” you said, “One of your best friends is dead, and you’re comforting me? I thought I was the masochist.”
Tom scowled, his brow furrowing. “Viper—”
“I can’t interact with someone without putting them in danger, at a disturbingly high rate. You want me to enumerate where I’ve stuck my nose in not my business and people have gotten killed? Senator Hernandez, Isadora,” you began, holding up two fingers, “The nine men guarding Isadora, Maccabruno, Polson—”
“Don’t you dare do that to yourself.” Tom took a step forward, his foot almost curving into the pond. “You didn’t use the knife. You didn’t pull any triggers.”
“Yeah, but I sent them there. And a good many of them went because it was their job.” You sneered and propped your chin on your knees again.
“And it’s part of your job—”
“Yeah, whatever. Your friend is dead, and I have no home. I’ve stopped contacting the few people in my circle on the chance that they get dragged into this—Grace, Adrien—he’s the lights specialist guy, in case you don’t remember—I’ve got to email Glory, but that can’t be helped. And Dr. Prine only—fuck,” you said, dragging your hands down your face. “I don’t want anything to fucking happen to Dr. Prine. Or your family, for that matter.”
“Everyone not involved in the business is currently in hiding upstate,” said Tom, eyes narrowed as he glared at you. “If you like, I can ensure the same—”
“Stop acting so damn calm, Tom.” You let your legs dangle off the platform, hands clenching the edges. “I don’t have any strings left to pull. And fucking hell, I know that it would be extremely and absurdly conceited of me to believe that this series of crimes is aimed specifically at me, because how deluded, how arrogant could I get—but goddammit, this stuff feels a little too personalised. It feels like this person knows me.”
Tom clicked his tongue. “Don’t you think it’s worth something that Glory Pham has been left alone? He knows how to get into Crosscreek, yet Glory hasn’t been touched. Is that not worthwhile?”
Your eyes watered, but you ducked your head so that he couldn’t see—but you released a dry sob (Fuck! Now is not the time for crying! Now is the time for being badass! Frown, or something!).
Tom spoke so quietly you almost didn’t catch it. “Do you want to leave?”
God, no. But it would make you feel like less of a burden. “Let me find an apartment first.”
“No, not like that. Hey, V. Look at me,” he said, and he tapped on the wall again.
You wouldn’t. Not like this. Not when your nose was running and when you didn’t have a plan.
“Please look at me, Viper.”
Glowering, you raised your head, lifting your chin higher than normal to seem confident, and oh, God—his eyes were wide and gentle; he’s leaning as far as he can over the pond, still unable to reach you.
“What I meant was if you wanted to leave the mob.”
It rang through your head like a distant cathedral bell, chiming through a deserted town—but then you were farther, out on the mountains, still listening to faint clanging.
“You’d have to kill me,” you said, shaking your head, “Don’t you remember?”
“Fuck,” Tom was saying, sucking in through his teeth, and after glancing at the water, he started jogging around the pond.
“I swore. I bled. And then even after that—then you knighted me.” You inhaled sharply when he reached the stones you’d climbed. “I’ve let you down.”
“Viper, get the fuck down from there and come here,” he said, and he withdrew, winching, when he stepped on a sharp edge.
“We shouldn’t have met,” you said, looking over your shoulder at him, and Tom froze, his hand partially gripping a hole in the stone wall. “I shouldn’t have taken the job. I should have gone to a different city. I should have—”
“Wasted your life away in the shadows? Just shut up and get down here.”
“Ah! The fuck?” You swatted his hand away when it grazed the platform, and when he climbed up another step, you pushed yourself off the platform and into the pond.
The first thing that struck you was how quiet everything was once the bubbles dissipated, and then you noticed how clear the water was, even from within it—glancing down, you could easily see your feet treading water above the broken grist mill wheels that had sunken to the bottom.
Before you could take it in to feel the emptiness in your chest, bubbles filled your vision again—and then his hands were grappling for you, grasping at your clothes, and pulling you towards the surface.
“I wasn’t fucking drowning,” you said, sliding a hand back through your hair, while Tom shook his head to flick off excess water. “I was fine without—”
“I know you weren’t.” Tom gripped your waist tightly enough to be painful, and he slid his other hand up between your shoulder blades. “I know. You wouldn’t die on me, and I’m not letting anyone else lay their hands on you. C’mon, arms around.”
He guided your arms around his waist, and once you had a good grip (hands sliding up his back), he kicked off to swim to the stone wall, backing you into it. Your toes skimmed the bottom of the pond, but Tom kept your head above the water, his thumbs circling your hipbones through your wet clothes.
Tom closed his eyes, his eyelashes heavy with water droplets. “There’s no solution to this where you die, got it?”
“Shucks.”
“I mean it. Talk to me. Tell me what you can.” Tom let out a breath slowly, and he bent to rest his forehead on your shoulder. “Please,” he said once you tensed up, his breath hot through your wet shirt, “Won’t you let me in?”
(Fuck fuck fuck fuck his chest is flush against yours; he’s so warm, so damn warm all over, and the water’s chill only makes you want to cling to him more, fuck.)
“You won’t like me,” you said, tentatively lifting a hand to curl your fingers into his hair, pulling slightly, “I’m not whom I’ve presented to you. I don’t have it under control.”
“I don’t expect you to.” Tom turned his head towards you; his lips almost grazed your neck (you relish their warmth anyway). “You wouldn’t be human, otherwise.”
“I don’t know an awful lot. Some days it seems like all I do is guesswork.” You grimaced but kept the slim distance from Tom’s mouth. If he wanted to, he would. “I’m lost completely on whoever the fake Epiales is. I keep looking for a pattern in everything, even—even so far back as to—”
You stuttered. Tom had pressed his lips to the base of your neck.
“There’s no consistency,” he said, nuzzling his nose against the spot where your neck met shoulder, “but there’s got to be a larger plan. I get it. The whole case is like a hydra, and we’re chopping blindly at the heads.”
(Oh, my God, he kissed you? He kiss the neck? He?)
“Oh! I forgot to tell you.” Tom pulled away to look you in the eye, and your mouth hung open of its own accord—come back! “I made myself watch the video again.” His jaw shifted. “To see if I missed anything, and I did. This time, I recognised the symbol on the guy’s forehead.” Tom lightly traced it onto your forehead with his middle finger. “It’s a zodiac symbol. It’s the one for Taurus.”
You nodded, still not really thinking at full capacity. “Great. Another piece of evidence that I won’t be able to make fucking sense of. Goddammit. I’m so useless. Goddammit,” you said, dropping your hand from his hair into the water with a splash. “Tom, I don’t talk to my mother much anymore. She doesn’t know where or who I am, and to be honest, I don’t know who I am, either. I don’t know where the truth is.”
You nearly slapped him when you cupped his cheek, like you were desperate, like you had to be touching him, skin on skin, that instant. It’d be nice if he would close his eyes and lean into your touch, maybe kiss your palm, but Tom simply stared at you in shock, eyes wide, brows raised, mouth pinched.
Don’t tell him, you whore. You built this fucking kingdom with its walls and bastions so that you would be safe when the outer defences crumbled. You’ve set aside parts of yourself into neat little boxes so that you can throw any of them away at any time and escaped unscathed. Don’t you fucking dare screw that up. Tom doesn’t know about Epiales so that you can expose and destroy him if you’re on his chopping block; it’s insurance for when everything falls.
Bitch, since when do you want to be honest and raw and vulnerable around anyone?
You can’t let him in.
“You’re still a woman of honour,” Tom said, and—oh, God, oh, fuck—he’s easing his hands down your body, his chest pressed against yours again, and he’s sliding them down your thighs to hook underneath your knees, and he’s hitched you up against the wall, the definition of his muscles real and palpable through the wet clothes, warm, warm, warm—
“I should apologise,” you said, turning your head to the side while he steered your legs around his waist, “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now.”
“You can’t?” Tom shifted you upwards, and that’s it; your heat is directly against him; you can feel every pull and tensing of his tendons, and if he keeps moving the way he is, then you’ll—
“I’m so sorry for making this about me when Z was closer to you. We shouldn’t waste time on me; we need to be searching, arranging a funeral if we can’t find anything.” You scrunched your eyes shut.
“You’re deflecting.” Tom let out a shuddery sigh. “I’ve lost too many people. Don’t make me lose you when you’re right in front of me,” he said, and he pressed his lips right below your ear.
You flinched away on impulse but tried to relax into him, blinking profusely.
Tom pushed against you (not localised enough to qualify as a thrust), and he cleared his throat before pulling away from your neck. “Listen, please. Please.” He shifted your weight to one hand and gripped your chin with his freed one. His eyes flickered to your mouth before he moved to rest his hand on your cheek. “You’re invaluable. Irreplaceable. You are no burden and are not at fault.” He clenched his jaw. “But I know you’re keeping something from me, and I will make the answer fall from your lips soon.”
Your own chin was shaking, and he was too close. If you put aside separate-self-as-insurance for a moment, let’s consider Tom did find out about Epiales. Would he control you through it? Would he use you to influence those he couldn’t reach? Would he grab hold of Dr. Prine? He might squeeze your life and time through his fist, and your freedom would be gone. Epiales was your freedom, your space to create and connect.
He was too close.
“You’ve got to promise not to hate me,” you said, and when he raised an eyebrow, you made your decision to lean in.
“No,” he said, and—and your lips met his cheek.
He’d turned his head.
After all that, he’s going to turn his head?
“No,” he said again, taking your chin again and leading you away, back to leaning against the stone wall, “I don’t want our first kiss connected to the memory of mourning. I can wait a bit longer.”
Tom released your legs, letting them sink. “You once told me that if you let yourself be vulnerable, you didn’t want an audience. I think,” he said, frowning, “I think you still see me as an outsider. As a member of that audience. And again, you said that you didn’t want it if it weren’t real.” He stepped away from you entirely, and he started wading towards the edge of the pond. “I’m going to hold you to the same standard. I’ll wait until you’re ready to be real with me.”
Tom slinked out of the pond, flicking away what excess water he could, and he squinted into the sun on the horizon. He shook his head, water flying, and he glanced back at you and scoffed. “Easy, sweetheart. No need to wear your heart on your sleeve now.”
His voice trailed off as he rounded the corner towards the door.
The sun is rising, and you feel rather cold.
***
inter vivos: between the living
***
taglist: @hollandroos @madmadmilk @parkerroos @parsleysbaby @z-ukos @pparkerwrites @lunamyangel @stealth-spiderr @presidentbttrflyfreak @paradoxparker @bi-writes @astronomyparkers @infamous-webhead @laurfangirl424 @softspideys @gryffinpuffs @plethoraofpuppies @laucontrerasv @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @spiderboytotherescue @cassiopeiaskies
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pumpkinpaix · 5 years ago
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Hello! and PSA
*waves* hi everyone! so uh, I’ve kind of had a bit of a surge in followers recently, and I thought I would make a bit of a PSA/intro post with a bit more targeted info than my about page.
anyways, I’m cyan! statistically speaking, you are probably here for one of the following reasons:
my fic
my meta
my gifs
my translation
all of the above
this is pretty much an mdzs blog on main these days, but I also rb a lot of other misc things because I have never been good at keeping my interests separate. it’s also my personal blog, so expect some of that? i am very all or nothing ahaha. my opinions change very quickly as I process new information, so like, something I said last week or yesterday might be different now! I’ve seen several people going through some of my older posts, and I’m just like oh dear, I said a lot of things six months ago that I no longer vibe with. /o\ please keep that in mind as you go diving in my blog!
i don’t have a BYF or DNI policy, but I reserve the right to block anyone for any reason because this is a personal blog first and foremost, and I do need to be better about setting my boundaries and curating my own online space! on that same token, you are free to follow, unfollow, block, whatever, even if we’re mutuals. <3
you’re free to come talk to me in my inbox or dms, but please be aware that there’s a very high chance I will never get back to you /o\ it isn’t personal!! I am just very mentally ill and have many difficulties with keeping up social interactions or talking to people.
in the interest of trying to be more open about myself, my brain, and what that means for me in an online/fandom space, I’m gonna do a boatload of mental health talk under the cut (or, if you’re looking at this on my blog proper or somewhere where the cut doesn’t display, it starts right after this paragraph), including mentions of self-harm/thoughts of specific self-harm etc, just so you are warned! I’ve been thinking recently that it’s good to try and take steps towards being more open about my issues, both for my own sake and others’. It’s long, because one of the fun things about my mental illness is that I am hyperverbal ahahaha (if that... wasn’t already obvious orz)
so if you’ve read pfmmpd, you can kind of get a sense of what I’m working with. a lot of how i wrote lwj was drawn directly from shit happening in my own brain, but like? dial that up from the specific issues that lwj had in that fic and apply it unilaterally across the board to almost anything you can think of.
I hesitate to describe my OCD as debilitating, but only because my specific cocktail of compulsions and anxieties and triggers push me to be hyperachieving and hyperfunctional. I consider myself pretty fortunate (?) in that regard. on paper, you could never tell how absolutely batshit my internal landscape is! which is very good for me practically in that I can hold down a job, keep scholarships, graduate with honors, have good prospects for my future, hold onto relationships (usually yikes) etc. but the fact of the matter is, I’m like. oh boy.
to give you a peek, here’s a non-exhaustive list of things that have triggered me to varying degrees of severity within the last like, week or so:
my dog
a chinese folk song
my mother reading a chinese haiku to me written by a young gay man
a chinese reader of my fic lovingly and gently giving me a history lesson on china and on mdzs while praising me
stepping on a piece of snow that didn’t collapse in the precise way i expected it to
writing meta
reading meta
ruminating on my triggers (honestly, I played myself)
seeing a twitter thread going around tumblr with decent information but the OP is someone who was exceedingly cruel to a good friend of mine
visiting my grandmother’s grave
deciding to visit my grandmother’s grave
discussing the concept of cuddling my partner whom i love and have been with for four years
self-harming (truly the height of irony, being triggered into self-harm and then getting triggered by the result of the self-harm hahahahahaha)
dropping off a package
trying to explain queer-coding to my parents
talking about stressors in my life related to covid19
having a very pleasant conversation with a person i admire
editing my translation
the fact that the “close” button on my accessibility sidebar on the translation website is the wrong color
choosing between eating all the shiitake mushrooms in my soup and purposefully giving myself a bad reaction or throwing one out and wasting food
thinking about playing a fun game with my partner and a mutual friend
my mom asking me to take a photo of some tea for her
my mom asking my opinion on a photo she was photoshopping
animal crossing
writing this fucking post HAHAHAHA
like!! it goes on!! endlessly! obviously, these triggers are not simply “bad” things. the chinese folk song and the haiku were both really beautiful and i love them! but I did spend a good amount of time curled up on my floor in the dark sobbing as i played the song on repeat. the haiku was one of the last straws that ended up with me screaming and crying and hurting myself. the snow??? like wtf the snow thing. I stepped on the snow and it felt wrong and my brain just started screaming SMASH YOUR KNEECAP. ???? (I didn’t, for the record, and I would never.) I love my partner very much! I love my friends very much, and my mother, and my grandmother etc. my triggers are infinite, unpredictable, and bizarre.
I’m saying all of this because I want to be clear that MDZS/CQL fandom specifically triggers me on a daily basis, sometimes very very badly. this is just a fact! it is no one’s fault! I have decided it is worth it for me to stay anyways. it is impossible for me to request people tag for certain things because I myself have no idea what my triggers are until I encounter them. It’s like a fun mystery boss encounter! sometimes it’s low level and i’m well-equipped to handle it. other times it’s a one-hit KO. We just don’t know! there are lots of very cool content creators in this fandom that I can’t follow because it would make my dash that much more high stakes. the original source canon material triggers me! all the events leading up to Lotus Cove massacre? I was shaking at work for three hours after consuming it for the first time.
Meta specifically is something I know a lot of people like me for, but it’s 100% the most triggering activity I participate in for this fandom. like, that suibian meta post I wrote that’s currently going around? Probably took me four or five hours of concentrated effort to write because I was compulsively panicking and rewriting and editing and panicking more and qualifying and editing and qualifying some more and then debating whether I should post it or not and then fighting with myself about my wording and then immediately regretting it and then every time someone commented on it (regardless of positive or negative!) my anxiety spiked. I started a reply to a response on that post and had to stop after a few minutes because I was already starting to trigger myself over it.
this is actually a pretty good outcome when it comes to meta! I recognized that I was hurting myself before I got any further, and I only spent like, five hours on it! it was good exposure therapy for me! the bad outcome is. well. bad, as you might imagine lmao.
I like writing meta. I like talking to people about it too! I like participating in fandom, I like writing, I like translating, I like all of these things. they’re just also really hard for me! there’s a couple meta requests sitting in my inbox right now that I want to get to, but it might take me like. a long time because of. you know! *gestures* Everything takes me a long time. that first chapter of the translation took me literally five months from beginning the project to posting a final edited version. It’s just over 1k words. D8
I try really hard to be chill and kind in public and I largely think I succeed on the kind part (I hope!). If you thought I had even an ounce of chill before this, perhaps I have disabused of that notion entirely now lmao. I’m not saying this for pity, but like? just so we all know what we’re dealing with here. I don’t want anyone to get hurt when I don’t engage with them or feel snubbed if I never reply to them. and also like, hey, if someone relates it’s like hooray, high fave, solidarity! we’re not alone in this world! or maybe this will help someone understand OCD a little better! I don’t know. I hope this post is a positive thing. BUT! I’ve spent three hours on it already, and i’m definitely starting to compulsively spiral, so instead of going back and editing it over and over, I’m just going to post it. thank you everyone for your understanding! I hope you enjoy your time on my blog! (*´▽`*)
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rema-rin · 5 years ago
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How do you create such detailed pieces in such a short amount of time?? Like yo, your art is so fucking amazing and when I see how short of a time it takes even the most detailed of pieces to complete I'm just amazed. Whenever I even attempt to do a detailed piece I take days upon days to finish lmao. Love your art friend (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ
Sorry for the delayed response! Thank you very much!! And I think there are multiple factors contributing to faster/slow art processes; One would be, to avoid having to redo work.Here's a quick video explaining the terms "destructive/non-destructive" https://www.ctrlpaint.com/videos/destructive-vs-non-destructive
I apply that logic to the process itself as well, I might start detailing a limb of a character, but later on, I might realize that I need to add a complex pattern on that limb that I already started shading. If I didn't plan for it, and had already merged the character layers to only 1 layer, then I'd potentially have to redo lots of work.
Though getting smart with your layer usage just takes trial and error I'd say,,
But same idea with rushing to certain stages of the process before having a clear picture of what the end-product /should/ look like. You can correct a bad proportion/perspective/anatomy much much faster in the sketch phase, than in the coloring/shading/detailing phase. Basically, you ensure a much smoother ride, if the skeleton of your building is all laid out on your blue-prints, than if you try to build it blindly. (decide on placement, color choices, light setting, composition, posing, area of focus - all in the first 20% of your art process - the other 80% is for rendering out / refining/clean up) ((it's rare for me to be 100% sure about any of the initial planning, but I at least try to be as satisfied with it as possible before moving on to the next stage)) I heard one artist describe that 80% of their concentrated decision-making is spent on the first 20% of the artwork- the rest is just on autopilot. This is getting rambly,, but you'll have to find what fits you best. It's also true that part of my speed comes from developing lots of muscle-memory basically. I'm familiar with a whole set of shapes, details, bits of knowledge that I can sketch out quickly to make the skeleton-blueprints of dogs, dragons, humans, trees, etc and thus being able to spend more time and energy on planning out more intricate stuff like perspective, composition, color combinations instead of investing all the initial effort into getting the anatomy of a dog leg looking right. (So this brings us back to the age-old advice of: studying the basics :'> but alas, just draw the things you enjoy a LOT, and you'll start to naturally get faster as well, that is what's called getting "mileage" in drawing) ALsO know when there's no need for details!!!! You can suggest the existence of texture/details by just adding it in sparse places, instead of covering the whole area with it!!! You can also plan out your image as if it's taken by a camera; underexposed: the lighted areas are the most detailed https://www.artstation.com/artwork/1V5R3 / overexposed: the shaded areas are the most detailed. https://www.artstation.com/artwork/8A6wq (this can be real subtle too, it doesn't even have to be extreme, but it'll help you balance your picture and workload as well,, gives to image room to breathe too!) ((((and dont spend hours doing fine and clean lineart if your image is gonna be really dark in the end (and you dont plan on making the lineart be bright,, ) too often have I spent way too much time doing thin and precise lineart, just for it to disappear in dark shading. A cleaned up sketch works just as fine too!)))) Lastly, I believe you'll speed up your process real quick, by focusing on improving your sketching speed. Being able to sketch out the ideas in your head faster, you'll be able to nail down your image faster, because you can go through different versions quicker and find the most fitting one quicker. You can train yourself by doing traditional sketching in pen instead of pencil (no eraser = more thoughtful lines, less errors) or by doing timed gesture drawing (You can find websites for doing figure drawing with a stopwatch, 3 min -> 2 min -> 1 min -> 30 sec is possible too) Hope this helped! I'm still figuring out how to properly do the detailing phase, because I actually think I tend to rush it too much? I'm fine with character-focused details, but my stamina runs out real quick when it comes to backgrounds.
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February 15, 2020. It’s been a great start to spring semester on campus; I’m registered for 4 classes as well as research, but I decided today that I’m going to drop one of them. Puts me at barely 13 credits but it’s worth it: the psets for that one class had 10-15 problems each week, and it would take me around 4 hours per problem to finish. And it was only 2 credits! I only stayed in it this long because I love the subject, and it’s half a semester so I thought I could just suffer through it and bullshit my way through. BUT I love the subject, and I would rather take two years to understand it once than fail the class now then relearn it again in grad school. 
Anyways, with the absence of this class I suddenly have 5 days of the week off, and it’s Saturday so I’m gonna take a nap then try to get some work done for research. I’m in a new lab again this semester, after the last two labs over two semesters were definitely not the right fit lol. This semester is one I’m hoping to stay in for the rest of undergrad: it’s a baby lab because the PI was just appointed at Columbia last semester. Three grad students and me, potentially a postdoc that I had the honor of sitting in on his interview of! and asking questions along with the other team members (interviews are just an hour-long talk of the postdoc’s research history and what he plans to continue). I love love LOVE this lab because I feel like an actual member of the group, with agency, like I’m going up on the website n all that :) and I can stroll into work whenever I want and the PI is training the grads and I himself, etc. The lab is brand-new, so new that a good portion of it hasn’t been set-up yet and actually a good portion of my research will be creating some of the technology!! Because we’re trying to develop a way to image single electrons, so obviously it doesn’t exist and we’ll be developing microscopes to figure out how.
Anyways, that’s my academic life. Clearly I can talk about research all day so I’m just gonna move on. I will say that I’ve been taking so many math classes that I realized like a week ago I could totally get a math concentration too if I just took like another 4 classes, so I guess I’m chem/math now! Wow a whole STEM bitch y’all could never
I’m otherwise not too involved in campus life anymore, tbh. I can’t tell if that’s the norm, because I don’t think it is but when my sorority was preparing for recruitment and we quickly introduced ourselves to the rest of the chapter a surprising number of people upperclassmen were like yeah I kinda do this and I’m in this club but I don’t rlly go to meetings anymore and ya pretty much the sorority is what i’m most involved in now. And i was like huh. I do, however, still worry about it, and i keep trying to think of ways to get involved so that job or grad school applications are easier. Research takes up most of my time so when I get back from it, I’m pooped. I either go work out or watch Netflix, or cook, or chill w my dog, and I’m honestly happy with this life. I guess I’ve kind of figured out that clubs are pretty culty on campus, and not being involved in a club doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about it. It just means that those people who are just make it their whole life/social scene, the way I make my dog and research my whole life.
On campus, things have settled down since the Tess Majors attack. I don’t think I wrote about it before: just a few days before finals week a Barnard freshman named Tess was stabbed to death in a mugging as she was walking back to campus. It was terrifying not only because she was an unarmed, white, freshman, but also because it happened with no provocation and extremely close to campus. I personally ended up deferring two of my finals to the beginning of this semester, because I was too scared to leave my dorm to study. I also spent a ridiculous amount of money on Postmates and when I had to leave I took a cab even 4 blocks. Since being back on campus, things have quieted down, but I along with a lot of other people downloaded the Citizens app, and that awareness of all the crime going on in the city makes me feel much more vulnerable still.
Also, for some reason a facebook page called Columbia Confessions has blown up; I’ve posted three or so times myself and my most recent one, a shitpost about stealing people’s Canada Gooses at parties, broke a hunnid which I’m proud of! I actually wrote it to specifically target some kid who kept complaining about his lost Valentino, and someone actually tagged him lmao.
Lastly (that I can think of), the housing process has just begun and its a weird time on campus as usual: freshmen breaking down and losing friends over groupings, sophomores just trying to avoid the drama of last year, juniors angling to see if they can get an EC suite or a nice Hogan single. I personally was offered a nice single in my sorority house which i GAVE UP because a good friend of mine we’ll call Omicron wanted to room together and I’m tired of not having friends lol. She’s got ODS accommodations and theoretically so do I, so we’re trying to go for a Watt, EC, or Woodbridge 2-bedroom suite. I don’t know which I want because I’ve never been in any of those dorms, besides an EC townhouse, so I’m feeling really nervous about giving up my brownstone room. But I don’t really fuck w my sorority anymore, and worst comes to worst I’ll live in River because they have some HUGE ass singles, so for now i’ll trust Omicron and hope that we get a Watt 2br because they have lounges. 
OH lastly for real, I’m in art hum this semester! so keep ur luscious eyes peeled for a Core Review at the end of this semester~
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aelinbitch-archive · 6 years ago
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unpopular opinion: i don’t like rowan/rowaelin. i’m not here to convince u to unstan lol ppl are allowed to like/dislike things w/o feeling bad about it omg but i hate that some rowan stans are so insensitive when it comes to those who don’t like him! they’re so thirsty for him that they condemn anyone who doesn’t stan him & then excuse his problematic/lowkey triggering actions bc he’s hot and it’s gross. AGAIN not saying ppl can’t like rowan it’s ok lol but it’s more about some stan’s behavior
That’s totally fair my angel. I dislike the vibe that some people are locked out of the fandom for not being a cheerleader for every aspect of the series, and I hope that my followers/mutuals know that if they dislike stuff I like, or like stuff I dislike, expressing their opinions regarding that won’t ever cause me to cut them off (unless it’s like, some truly gross shit, which disliking rowaelin isn’t). 
Also I have to say, even tho I do like rowaelin, I understand where you’re coming from about people excusing his actions because he’s hot. I’ve toooooootally seen that. And I’ll just be 100% honest - no shade to anyone, but some of the rowaelin content on this website disturbs me a little bit, in terms what’s considered hot/romantic/acceptable when writing or depicting them in art. I’ve seen some weird stuff defended as hot or even just “not that bad.” Which isn’t necessarily a problem with canon, but your ask was more about stans anyway, so yeah. 
A while ago I actually wrote rowaelin meta in response to some other peeps (which was more about Aelin in relation to Rowaelin and how she’s included or not included in discussions of the ship, but it has some thoughts relevant to this ask) so I’m gonna just copy and paste what I wrote below and feel free to read if u want. (It’s like very overdramatic and fiery lmao but anyway). 
I agree with a lot of this, but (at risk of derailing ms aelinapologist’s amazing post) I do have a few things to say, which are
1. OP took two whole paragraphs at the beginning of her post to say that the point wasn’t to discourse about rowaelin being abuse or not abuse, it was to talk about how the conversations centering around said abuse consistently display a disturbing lack of empathy for the character who should be the main concern of the debate. So I just find it a bit funny/odd that the replies (including a portion of the one I’m about to make, I admit that) have been like “Yeah great post! And now to discourse about Rowaelin-” but I digress.
2. I have consistently loved reading about Rowan and Aelin and they’re one of my favorite fictional couples. So nothing I’m about to say is intended to be like “GOTCHA they suck and you suck for liking them!!!” Because I like them as well. A lot. And in addition, nothing about this reblog is intended to be shady or confrontational in any way shape or form. I just think this is a great and very needed discussion I’d like to contribute to, so here goes.
3. Even if we look at HoF alone and ignore how things play out later: yes, they are both mean to one another, yes, they are both in a dark place and end up having a mutually positive effect on one another (so I definitely agree that, at least for HoF alone, it’s not a “douchey guy changes for the heroine story”) but. There IS still a power imbalance. I don’t think it’s entirely accurate to say “they were both bad The End” without also bringing up the fact that Rowan is 300 years old and Aelin is 18, and that Rowan is training Aelin and is in a position that gives him a massive amount of control over her, and that he is stronger and more powerful than her physically, magically, and socially (he is a prince and legendary warrior, she is a AWOL teenage princess currently working as a scullery maid).
Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but I really just don’t think that Aelin, a 17 y/o girl going through an unimaginably shitty time, being like “fuck you!!” to this 300 y/o jerk who doesn’t know shit about her is on the same level as aforementioned 300 y/o jerk hitting her, biting her, and telling her she would have been of more use to the world if she’d died when she was eight.
And in addition to that, we see that his behavior effects her a lot more than it effects him. When he verbally tears her down, we see her experience genuine and devastating despair and shame, whereas everything she does and says to him, no matter how snarky or outright cruel, is not having that same effect on him. People always seem to think they’re giving Aelin credit for being a Strong Woman™ by saying “she’s tough! she can handle it!” when in reality… we have evidence for the fact that she kinda can’t handle it. That the way he treats her in the beginning is slowly wearing her down and sending her deeper into a depressive state. And I don’t understand how it somehow reflects poorly on Aelin (or is even misogynist) to acknowledge this. Women, especially literal teenage girls, should not be measured by their tolerance for mistreatment.
All I really wish is that somewhere along the line we’d gotten a genuine apology from Rowan for this besides a throwaway line in KoA about regretting their “brawling.” And again, none of this is to say “see!! it IS abuse!!” it’s just to suggest that, even as an enemies to friends to lovers story, the “enemies” part was not exactly on a level playing field.
4. But with that being said, I could probably forgive the imbalance in their early relationship, mostly because their later relationship, as both friends and lovers, is so amazing and supportive in pretty much every way. And the great thing about enemies to FRIENDS to lovers, like you said, is that 1) none of the assholery occurred during any kind of romantic or sexual relationship or a transition into one, so it was sort of “fair and square” in that way, and 2) they had the opportunity form a solid, platonic foundation of trust and caring before they crossed into the lover territory.
Aaaaaaaaaand then Sarah did a retcon job on HoF which negated… pretty much all of that. I can totally be down with “good old fashioned mutual hatred thaws into caring which grows into love” but once we start hearing shit like “‘Sometimes, you’d be sleeping beside me at Mistward, and it’d take all my concentration not to lean over and bite them. Bite you all over’” and “‘That was the first time I really lost control around you, you know. I wanted to chuck you off a cliff, yet I bit you before I knew what I was doing. I think my body knew, my magic knew. And you tasted… So good. I hated you for it’”……. hhhhhhhhhhh.
I can’t think of many arguments for this NOT contributing at least a little to the “he’s mean because he loves you (and stick it out because someday he’ll figure it out)” trope. And while it might be a bit different because Aelin was quite mean as well, her behavior was just… meanness. Not some sort of weird outlet for repressed sexual attraction/love. I guess I just get flashbacks of “No sweetie, that boy in your class kicks your desk, pulls your hair, and calls you names because he likes you and doesn’t know how to express it.”
And I think this decision on Sarah’s part to go back and say he was into her all along is 1) a result of the mating bond thing she’s so fond of and 2) kind of a panicked backpedalling to the backlash she might have gotten over Rowan’s behavior in HoF? Which is…. so ironic because she made it SO much worse. In my humble opinion, she should have just doubled down on what she originally wrote as enemies-friends-lovers (and had Rowan bring up his early behavior and apologize in some way), and the problem would have been solved. And while I personally feel that I can recognize this for what it is - a shitty retcon - and enjoy the relationship despite it, I don’t think we should talk over people for whom this is a deal-breaker for the ship.
5. I don’t think about all of this and have the reaction that so many “anti tog” people seem to have of “FUCK Rowan he’s ABUSIVE and PREDATORY and I wish he was DEAD!!!” I think there are things to criticize about his behavior and about the way Sarah decided to spin their relationship, but they have had many great moments, especially in the later books, and I don’t think I or anyone else is “shipping abuse” by enjoying that. All of this is just to emphasize how, in OP’s very succinct words, “your inalienable right to enjoy two characters’ dynamic does not outweigh the right to criticise it.” Because there ARE valid things to criticize, and we as Rowaelin shippers (lol.) need to be careful not to conflate ugly hatred with valid criticism when we speak over it.
And because there IS so much ugly hatred for Aelin and her relationship with Rowan on this website, I completely understand why there’s a kind of knee-jerk reaction of jumping to defense of this ship we love. But that impulse, quite frankly, means nothing to me if defense of Rowaelin includes the erasure of Aelin’s canonical experiences. And maybe this is wacky and controversial, but I’m pretty sure we can express our enjoyment of Rowaelin AND keep Aelin as an individual from being swept under the rug.  
6. More than saying any of that what I really really want to do (and have been trying to do in the previous paragraphs, but maybe unsuccessfully) is bring the conversation back to OP’s original point which was not “abuse!” or “not abuse!” but about how the ways in which we discuss “abuse or not abuse” often includes a stomach-turning lack of concern for Aelin and some frustratingly reductive arguments. And somehow I have the sneaking suspicion that Rowaelin shippers are reading this post and missing the point, which that this is happening on BOTH sides of the argument.
Everyone is perfectly entitled to ship Rowaelin and argue their opinion about its merits or lack thereof, but when we cover our ears and say “she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too la la la la la la la” that’s completely ignoring the genuine pain that she did experience in HoF and the power imbalance that she was subjected to, no matter whether or not we personally feel that it was sufficiently rectified in later books.
And I see this ALL THE TIME, in both the fandom and “anti-fandom”, and I’m honest to god quite sick of it. I’m sick of the willful ignorance of a teenage girl’s pain in order to further an agenda. Yes, it’s more stomach-turning when the agenda is to prove what an evil bitch she is or whatever, but it’s not excusable if your agenda is to prove Rowaelin is great, either! And I don’t understand why we have to throw all nuance out the window and ignore how Dorian hurt her, ignore how Chaol hurt her, ignore how Rowan hurt her, fucking hell, ignore how SAM hurt her, just so we can make our arguments! Because as much as the antis love to scream about “WHAT MESSAGE IS THIS TERRIBLE SHIP SENDING THE TINY GIRL-CHILDREN WHO READ THE BOOKS???” it’s also like, what kind of message is our ongoing discussion of it sending by sweeping a teenage girl’s experiences under the rug when we argue about her relationships?
And like OP said, what have we even got to show for it? No conclusion has been reached, nothing has been achieved besides valuing a romance (or the hatred of that romance and preference for a different romance) over individual characters, namely an individual character who happens to be a teenage girl that has suffered an ungoldy amount - suffered, sometimes, at the hands of male characters we like.
In conclusion, the mass allergy everyone seems to have to giving a shit about Aelin unless its to further their agenda is sickening. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to hear about how poor Manon’s character was “ruined” by Manorian (although not directly by DORIAN, of course, because apparently Saint Haviliard can do no wrong) I’d have enough money to buy a lamborghini and drive it off a cliff like I wish I could every time I hear someone’s terrible hot take about how Aelin is complicit in her own alleged abuse. Yet somehow I’ve never heard anyone complain about the damage done to Aelin’s character by any of the male characters, including Rowan. It’s never “Rowan ruined Aelin’s character!!” it’s “Rowaelin sucks and so does Aelin.” In fact, one of the REASONS Aelin sucks in the first place IS Rowan/Rowaelin! What a great implicit message to send to people reading your “critiques”: if you are annoying and #problematic enough, your suffering will be used against you and you will receive no sympathy for it. Cool!
And for other ships, too: it’s never “Chaol and Dorian, while at points a very good for Aelin, also caused her a lot of pain” it’s either “Chaol was right about Aelin in QoS and both he and Dorian are ruined because of her #chaorian” OR, from the fans, who, again, are not off the hook, “Chaol and Dorian and Aelin are BFFs forever #originaltrio.” And as a teenage girl myself, who loves and identifies with Aelin, who is more invested in her story than anyone else’s… I’m just tired. And more than a little appalled. And I wish we could do better.
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lovelyirony · 7 years ago
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Hey Neighbor
pt. 2 of this au. enjoy!
Pepper finally meets Hot-Steve. “Oh my god,” she whispers, whipping her head out from peeking behind the door. “You found Hot Steve.” 
“I know,” Tony hisses. “And he’s cute and wears stupid white tank tops and he doesn’t look like a dick and help me Pepper I don’t know what to do.” Pepper gives Tony a look that lets him know that there is nothing she can do to prevent feelings, unfortunately. 
“You’re talking with Natasha on Friday, you’ll be fine Tony. Probably. He is pretty cute.” 
“He’s not cute!” Tony says. “He’s hotter than the sun! His smile could melt diamonds!” Pepper snorts. “Pepper, help,” Tony whines. “I have feelings. They suck.” 
“Congrats, we finally have the proof you’re human,” Pepper says. She pats his cheek. “I’m getting lunch with a client today, text me if he takes his shirt off. And maybe send a picture.” 
Tony has to step into the office for a while, so he does so until six, after which he promptly buys a bottle of the good red wine and goes to Natasha’s house. 
She opens the door before he even knocks. “You’re late,” she says, lips pursed. 
“You never specified a time?” Tony poses. “I brought you California wine.” 
“Gimme.” 
Tony is wrapped up in his favorite blanket that she owns with a glass of wine in his hands. 
“New neighbor. You like him. His name is Steve. He used to be in the military, now works as a freelance artist. He has a website. I bought a painting. I can’t wait to see his face when it’s delivered and I invite him over three weeks from now to view it.” 
“Why does it take three weeks?” 
“Suspense.” 
“Oh. Okay.” 
They watch a show for a while, some family-oriented cheesy crap that Natasha loves. Then, of course, Natasha has to mention it. 
“You like Hot Neighbor.” 
“Shut up, Claire was just about to realize that the nice, small-town restaurant owner likes her.” 
“You’re avoiding the question because you’re uncomfortable with talking about emotions due to familial problems.” 
“Literally not surprising, my therapist has said that before. God, tell me something surprising.” Natasha snorts. 
“So, you don’t deny it.” Tony shrugs. 
“Have you seen him? In the white tank top?” 
“I thought old man Lee would’ve fallen out of the window.” Tony laughs at the idea: Stan had been part of the building longer than it had been apartment buildings. “So,” Natasha says. “What’s your go-to plan?” 
“Stare longingly and hope he catches on that I like him and asks me out tentatively on a date.” Natasha stares at him. 
“You are a disgrace.” 
“Impossible, I’ve got no grace to ruin,” Tony quips. “It’s fine. I’m just going to realize that nothing is going to happen, and he’s probably going to move out of the apartment and have a nice partner to marry and a nice picket fence with two-point-five kids, and I’ll be here. Listening to music. And crying.” 
“So basically, your average Sunday.” 
“Yeah, basically.” 
The problem with apartments is that Tony has to leave Natasha’s soon. So he kind of stumbles out (he’s tipsy from the wine, he has good taste,) and low and behold, there is Steve. In a black tank top. 
“You’re mixing it up, aren’t you?” Tony says. “You usually wear white.” 
“Laundry day,” Steve explains. “Can’t wear that one all the time, can I?” Tony nods. 
“That makes...sense. Not math sense, though.” 
Natasha’s head pokes out of her door. 
“Rogers, he’s had a little too much red wine. Forgive him.” Steve laughs. Tony thinks it sounds better than Pepper’s stupid “sleepy-time ambient noise” playlists. It sounds better than any music. 
“Your laugh is pretty,” Tony informs him. 
“Thanks,” Steve says. “I’ve never had that kind of compliment before.” Tony nods. 
“I am...going to my apartment. To sleep.” Steve laughs at this. 
“Goodnight, Tony. Have a good night’s sleep.” 
“I think I will,” Tony yawns. “Goodnight. I think.” 
He can’t get the key in the door. This used to be easier. He tries to concentrate, and then realizes that maybe his coordination is down. (Tony did, after all, drink three glasses. It was good, okay?) 
“Want help with that?” 
“Hello, we just spoke,” Tony says with a yawn. “My key will not fit. I think my coordination is not good.” 
Steve gets the door open. He smells good. Like really good cologne and paint. 
“Goodnight, Tony.” 
“You smell, like, really good.” 
He wakes up the next morning with a slight headache and mortification. “Why the hell did you do what you did?” He asks himself. “Oh my god, you told him?? That he smells good??? What the fuck? “What the fuck.” Tony decides to not leave the apartment until he dies. Because oh god, how is he going to face Steve again? 
He decides on not ever leaving and texting Rhodey his grocery list. I’m not getting u ur groceries u shit 
pls rhodey i can’t leave i told steve he smelled good WHO DOES THAT 
oh my god ur such a loser lmao i’m telling nat
Tony doesn’t know how Rhodey and Nat became friends. Rhodey doesn’t even live in the same apartment complex, and Rhodey has only met her, like, five times over the course of six months. Somehow, they were friends. No one gave an explanation. 
Rhodey still refuses to get Tony food. Tony has already run out of his chips and soda, and is now rationing out the candy Jarvis had gotten him for Christmas. It was the ribbon candy, which was alright, but not for actual, outside-of-holiday consumption. 
Dammit. 
So, he must go grocery shopping. Tony silently gets out of his apartment, looking outside. No sign of Steve yet, so this is automatically good. 
Steve is outside, staring forlornly at his motorcycle. “Hey,” Tony says awkwardly. If he doesn’t say anything, then it’s even more awkward. “What’s wrong with the bike? Did it kill somebody?” 
If Tony could just fake his death right then and there, he would. God, he’s so bad at words when he likes somebody. Or shows genuine concern, really. 
“My bike broke down again,” Steve says. “Last mechanic I went to was a piece of crap, overcharged me for a job he couldn’t even get done.” 
“I can take a look,” Tony says. “I know all about bikes.” 
He doesn’t even regard Steve for about ten minutes. “Yup, your mechanic was crap. Ultimately crap. It looks like he used placebos on a motorcycle, and I’m not even sure how one can actually use placebos.” Steve laughs at this. “Let me get my tools, I’ll be right back.” 
Bucky, eventually, comes over to see Steve’s new apartment. It’s better than his old, crap apartment that had a specific way to lock the door and took three minutes to do. 
Instead, he sees Steve on the back porch, writing down something or other with a stranger--with a cute butt, hello--working on his motorcycle. Steve won’t let just anyone touch the bike. 
“Hi Bucky!” Steve says. “Nice to see you!” Bucky gets greeted with a side-hug and a glimpse of the sketchbook; it’s all improvements made to the bike. Way above his salary. 
“Hello,” comes a distant call from the bike. “How are you? Why did your parents name you that?” 
“I named myself that,” Bucky said. “When I was eight and hated my president name.” 
“Your parents named you ‘James Buchanan Barnes’? Unfortunate.” 
“How’d you figure that out so fast?” Bucky asks. 
“Okay well only one president could actually have that nickname, and there’s only one president really worth being named after. Anyone who argues that Henry Taylor is a good name is wrong because he was a bad man who has weird portraits.” Bucky shrugs. He can follow that reasoning. “I’d offer to shake your hand, but I’m working on this bike, and it’s going well. I’ve gotten a lot of problems out.” 
“How much does he owe?” Tony’s face pops out of the bike. It’s streaked in grime. 
“Um...a sandwich? I meant to go grocery shopping, and the only thing I ate beforehand was Christmas ribbon candy.” Bucky’s head snaps to Steve’s. 
It’s obvious. Steve likes this little nerd.
“Go get him a sandwich,” Bucky mutters. “Go, make him one. He hasn’t eaten in like, two hours probably.” Steve gets ushered into the apartment building. Tony is left working on a bike with Bucky awkwardly standing. 
“So um, you’re Tony?” 
“Yup. You’re Bucky.” 
“So, why’d you fix the punk’s motorcycle?” Tony looks up and blinks, like the answer’s obvious. 
“Well, it’s broken.” Son of a bitch. This is why Steve likes him. Tony is honest, cute, and he likes to fix things. No wonder Steve said he really liked his new apartment. 
Steve comes back with a sandwich on a plate and a glass of Coca-Cola. “Here you go,” he says. Tony chirps as he sits on the stoop and eats a sandwich. 
“Thank you for including mustard,” Tony says. “I like mustard.” Bucky gives an eyebrow to Steve. 
“Did you take the stairs?” Bucky asks. Steve’s ears turn pink. “Who did you spill soda on?” 
“Deadly redhead who may or may not have committed murder. Seems your type.” 
“How long are you banned from entering?” 
“According to her? Six years and thirty-five minutes.” 
“I better move in, then,” Bucky jokes. 
“Hey Steve?” Bucky snorts; his friend’s head turns around so fast at the sound of Tony that someone would think that he was trying to break the record for speed. 
God, Steve is so screwed.
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araniaexumae · 7 years ago
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Do You Want to Fall in Love With Me (and Go to France)? - chapter 1
AN: Hi! This is my first Jily fic so I’m very excited about it. This is going to be a fake dating AU. But between strangers. I hope you like it.
Chapter 2 is now available here
James leaned against the counter of the coffee shop his friend Remus worked at.
“Hey Moony, are you on break soon? I had an idea I wanted to run by you.”
“Well it's not that busy right now so just go ahead. Although if it's to talk about filling Filch's car with apples or some shit, I am very busy and I can't talk right now.”
James put his hand on his heart, taking mock offence. “Apples? Come on Moony, what are we? Amateurs? Obviously we'd pick something stickier. Like those weird honey sweets Peter carries  around when he's sick.”
Remus rolled his eyes as he adjusted the blue apron he was wearing. As if to illustrate his previous point, the doorbell jingled. A blonde woman came in and made her way towards the counter, concentrating on the menu which hung above the barista's head. She seemed slightly confused by all the choices available. While Remus left to offer his help to the customer, James took out his phone. After checking his facebook and twitter notifications, which were mostly Peter yelling at everyone about macarons, he opened Matchmakin, the dating app he usually used. He scrolled through the suggested profiles absentmindedly, lifting his eyes every once in a while to check if Remus was coming back soon. He noticed a blur of red disappearing from his screen as he was still scrolling without looking. He went back up and that's when he came across the picture of one Lily Evans, London, a woman with red hair who was quite possibly the love of his life. Because Wow.
Read on AO3
“You do know that app has a messaging system, right? You cannot contact her by staring at her picture for several minutes.”
“Oh sod of, Moony! Just look at her! How could I not?”
“Prongs I can't actually see the picture if you keep shoving it in my face. I know you wear glasses but some of us can actually see just fine by holding the phone at a normal distance.”
“Oh insulting my eyesight? Weak.” Nevertheless, he stopped fidgeting. “Just look.”
“Yeah she's pretty.”
“Pretty? Are we looking at the same picture because that woman is not merely pretty.” This time, James didn't seem to feign being offended.
“Whatever. Don't you have work to do or something?”
“I'm an elementary school teacher. And it's summer? Who's the smart one now, Remus?” James raised his eyebrows, pasting the smuggest smirk on his face.
“Ugh please go annoy Sirius. I have work.”
Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: Remus is cancelled
Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: why
Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: what did moony do
Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: do NOT say the nickname he doesn't deserve it
Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: what did I miss
Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: did he fill your drink with mustard again
Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: Remus wtf you swore you'd wait until I was there to do it again
Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: you soLeMnlY swOrE
Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: I agree with James, Remus is cancelled
Remus to Sirius Black ft his fans: stop making me text while working
Remus to Sirius Black ft his fans: Also that meme is aweful Sirius let it go
Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: *insert frozen gif*
Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: nEveR
Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: can we get back to me pls?
Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: I found my soulmate and Remus deamed it as unworthy of his attentionTM
Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: Is it a squirrel?
Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: Sirius is cancelled
Prongs to Wormtail: hey so what should I send?
Wormtail to Prongs: ? Elaborate
Prongs to Wormtail: to Lily!!
Wormtail to Prongs: still no idea what you're on about
Prongs to Wormtail: she's this girl on a dating app and she's way too beautiful dqsjihihkf
Wormtail to Prongs: why are you asking me, I thought padfoot was “the expert with the ladies”
Prongs to Wormtail: lmao he said that in middle school. sirius is gay af
Prongs to Wormtail: and i'm ignoring him
Wormtail to Prongs: because of the squirrel thing?
Prongs to Wormtail: please focus. what should I tell Lily
Wormtail to Prongs: well I'd start with hi
Prongs to Wormtail: no that's lame
Prongs to Wormtail: wait I have a great idea
Wormtail to Prongs: no pickup line
Prongs to Wormtail: I was totally not going to say that
Wormtail to Prongs: oh nvm then go ahead
Prongs to Wormtail: okay so maybe I was going to say that
Marlene to your local girl gang: drinks tonight. meet at 8
“To Mary and her angsty poetry!”, Dorcas shouted to make herself be heard despite the noise in the pub. The girls clinked their glasses together before downing the burning liquid as fast as they could. Mary smiled.
“Thanks girls. It really means a lot.”
“Of course we were going to celebrate. It's not everyday our friend's angsty poetry gets published in a magazine!” Marlene said as she gestured for the bartender to come to buy the next round.
“Will you ever stop calling it that?”, the petite girl asked.
“Probably not.” Lily admitted. She squeezed her friend's hand over the table. “We are all really proud of you, Mary.”
Marlene cut in. “Alright enough sentiment guys. Let's drink!”
DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TO SOUTHERN FRANCE WITH YOUR NEW BOY/GIRLFRIEND?
We are throwing a contest for the people who have found love with Matchmakin! We are looking for good-looking couples who have met using our app. Participate to maybe win a four-day all-inclusive trip to Nice, France!
To participate, send us a picture of you and your partner with a link to his Matchmakin profile through our contact page (a picture of you together is preferred but separate pictures are accepted). Don't forget to write Matchmakin In Nice as the subject of your message! Five couples will be chosen!
Requirements:
- Participants must be 18 or older
- Participants must reside in the UK
- Participants have to be willing to be filmed several times each day. The footage will be used to promote Matchmakin and will appear on our website as part of a series titled a Match Made in Heaven. Filming will take place in the hotel restaurant, at the pool or the beach, as well as in the city of Nice. To ensure your privacy, participants will never be filmed in their suites and never more than three hours a day. Click here for more info on a Match Made in Heaven.
Mary giggled as she tried to put Marlene's keys in the door for the fourth time. The latter was too occupied by kissing Dorcas' neck to help in any way. Lily just sank to the floor because her legs didn't seem to work anymore. She took her phone out of her purse and opened Matchmakin. She stared determinedly at it until the words stopped being blurry and jumped up once she managed to read the message that had popped up on her screen. She took Mary's hands, who had eventually succeeded in opening the door, and started jumping up and down.
“I don't get it Lils. What are we celebrating now?” Her friend asked as the redhead made her twirl.
“I'm going to France!”
“That's amazing!” Marlene screamed in delight. Dorcas and Marlene had apparently stopped kissing, at least long enough to hear the other girls' conversation. The four women entered the flat.
“Matchmakin is throwing a contest to win a four-day trip to the south of France!!!” Lily explained as she shoved her phone in Mary's hands. The four girls flopped down onto the couch in Marlene and Dorcas' living room.
“Lily wait! It says here that it's only for couples 'who have found love with Matchmakin' ”
“Oh” Lily fell onto the floor. “No France for me I guess… that's seriously so unfair.” Tears welled up in her eyes. Marlene sat up suddenly.
“I have an idea! Mary why don't you make a profile and you guys can pretend to be in love!”, the brunette suggested. Lily high-fived Marlene to congratulate her on this great idea.
“The trip is a week from now. I'm alone at the bakery this month, I can't leave.”, Mary answered. “I'm sorry Lily.”
“Shit, I have work too.” Dorcas said. “Not all of us are eternal students like Miss Lily here.”, she added as she prodded her friend's shoulder with her foot.
“Well it's not my fault if becoming a doctor is so damn long. I wouldn't have done it if I had known.” Lily defended herself.
Mary smiled, albeit a little maniacally. “Yes you would. Because you're smart and nice and I love you.”
“I love you too but I still wanna go to Fraaance!”, she whined, dragging the sound.
“Well just pick someone and ask them if they're free and want to do the contest with you.”
“Dorcas I love you that's such a good idea!”
Lily started crawling on the carpet in search of her phone, before she remembered that she had given it to Mary. She took it back, unlocked it and started to scroll through the profiles.
“I need someone attractive. Just because I want to go to France doesn't mean I'll go with just anyone. Oh what about this guy?” She angled the phone toward her friends, who were still sprawled out on the couch. It seemed Mary had fallen asleep.
Marlene shook her head “Nah, can you imagine kissing that mustache?”
Lily shuddered. “Venom has a mustache. Wait that's not his name. Oh yeah, Ver-non.” She scrolled to the next profile, ignoring Dorcas and Marlene who had started chanting 'venom, venom!'.
“What about her then?”
“She looks too much like Marlene. It's creepy.”
“No she doesn't! I'm much prettier than that!” As Dorcas and Marlene bickered, Lily continued her search.
“He's perfect! It says he's a teacher so he should be on holidays too, right?”
Marlene snorted. “Right cause that's totally why you chose him. Not the fact that he's super hot and has glasses.”
“Glasses?” Dorcas asked.
“Our dear Lily has a thing for glasses.”
Dorcas pondered the idea. “Oh yeah, I totally should have noticed this before.”
Lily took off her shoe and attempted to hit Marlene with it. Unfortunately, she only managed to hit the bottom of the sofa. “I do not. Whatever, gimme the phone back.”
Lily Evans to James Potter: do you want to be in love with me and go to France?
19 notes · View notes
bisexualwinry · 7 years ago
Note
hey! i was wondering: how do you start doing art on tumblr?? and get people to recognize you? is there anything i should do to start on a good note? im just an aspiring artist (ive been too nervous to post anything on here so far, and if i do, i just immediately delete it) do you have any tips?
the easy answer to this would be to just tell you not to worry abt what people think and popularity–just draw bc you love it. and while that’s a nice sentiment and all, it’s really……not all that helpful. I admire your honesty abt your drive to be recognized, and out of respect for that, I want to try to give you something more substantial  
with the way this website and it’s tagging system tends to work, your best bet for getting your work seen and becoming popular fast? fan art. 
this is a huge platform for sharing popular media, so lots of people are going to be searching in specific tags for shows/people/books/movies/music/etc. vague tags like ‘original art’ are really only good for a personal tagging system for your blog bc for the most part, I think people already know what content they’re looking for, and are going to go to the specific tag to get it. is it possible to get recognized by just posting your original work? of course! but I think it requires a lot more luck, timing, preexisting popularity, and stuff.
the best advice I can give in regards to original work is, draw fan art first. get recognized. then post your original work in tandem when you know that people will see it. this isn’t a guaranteed method by any means, bc even tho my fan art posts can go anywhere from 100-1,000+ notes, my original work tends to garner abt 20 notes on average. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
oh!!!! and promote your tumblr on other social media!! that’s a really smart move if you’re gonna concentrate your work on original content. make sure all your different accounts link to each other, and take advantage of the format of each site. Cater To The Content!!
if you’re already planning on doing fan art, then I want to emphasize the importance of tagging. tagging is Everything in this biz, and it’s important to use them wisely bc your art will only show up in the first 5 things you tag. try to rank them in order of popularity, for example: if I’m doing some fma art, I tag the characters and/or pairings first, then the show. that way, it’s guaranteed that Someone is gonna see it if they check the tag and look at the recent posts. 
send your art to your mutuals and say ‘hey look at this thing I made!’ so that the can see and decide if they wanna reblog it. make artist friends that can help promote you. networking is important, and so is knowing how to advertise your work! 
don’t be afraid to self-reblog either! this is the Real thing you shouldn’t give a fuck abt what other people’s opinions are–if you’re proud of how something came out and it only got like 5 notes, you hit that mf reblog on your own post so that your followers gotta appreciate it a second time! hell, do it a third, fourth, and fifth time!!! ain’t no shame in self promotion if you ask me
when all is said and done, the most important thing is to own your work. I know how hard it is to keep a work that you end up hating on your blog, bc every time you look at it, all you can think of is ‘fuck I could’ve done that so much better….” but listen. we’ve all got like 20 bad drawings in us for every good drawing, and believe me when I say that other people aren’t going to see it the same way you do. they’re probably gonna love it even if you think it’s the worst thing ever, I can’t tell you how many pieces I have that are like that lmao. 
now I’m not saying you Have to keep your work up no matter what, don’t feel pressured to do what you’re not comfortable with, but also, don’t pressure yourself to Always be your best. if you spent a lot of time on a drawing but it didn’t turn out how you wanted, it’s still valuable. you learned something from it, after all. don’t let yourself fall in love with every single thing you put on paper. let yourself make mistakes, mess up anatomy, try out ugly color palettes, all of it. in the end, we do this bc we love it! 
I hope this is helpful to you!! (and, if you feel comfortable doing so, I hope that you’ll send some of your art my way! I’d love to see it!)
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kweebtrash · 8 years ago
Text
Celebrate
YoongixReader (M)
Words: 6k+
Features: Bestfriend!AU, squirting, sex toys Summary: Yoongi celebrates his best friends birthday and gives her naughty presents that spark a night of debauchery. Mostly pwop (theres a small plot lol) A/N: Lmao this title sucks, but I was supposed to finish this for Yoongi’s birthday but my lazy ass did not. But I’ve been working on this for weeks and I’m really happy about it! I tried to mimic first-time awkwardness a bit and general bestie fun. Hope Ya’ll like it! Also still need a beta! Inspired by x
“Hey, I’m here.”
You pinned your cell phone between your ear and shoulder scoffing as you held out a dress in front of you. “What?! I’m not even ready yet!”
Yoongi’s irritated voice came from the other line. “Ready? For what? We’re not even going anywhere! You’re the one who said you didn’t want to go out because of work tomorrow.”
“I know, I know!” You replied, annoyed at the scolding he was giving you. You yanked a shirt from your closet, holding it up to your chest and examining how it looked in the full-length mirror, before tossing it aside. “I want to at least look presentable.”
“Y/N, I’ve seen you in sweatpants, bent over a toilet with vomit in your hair. I think we can get over presentable.” You heard the sound of a rustling bag and a small grunt before Yoongi continued. “I’m coming upstairs, bye!”
Rolling your eyes, you pressed the red end call button and tossed your cell phone onto the bed. There was no point in arguing with your best friend. He was just about as stubborn as you were. The true reason you wanted to look nice was because, well for one, he was coming over and two, he always looked so stylish. Yoongi’s style was fashion forward yet effortless, looking like he stepped out of an issue of GQ. He was a pretty boy in every sense of the word. Whenever you would hang out with him people would turn their heads and stare. Even high school girls would giggle obnoxiously and take pictures. You always felt like a hobo next to him so you compensated by trying to dress to the nines every time you two were together.
But Yoongi was right- you had said that you just wanted to stay home for your 21st birthday. It had fallen on a weekday this year and of course, you had to get up and go to work the next day. Besides, you and Yoongi’s 6 other friends would be dragging you out on the weekend to a club for a night of debauchery. You couldn’t do it twice in one week, though. Yoongi, however, continuously insisted that you do something on your actual birthday day and had planned something. You just hoped it wasn’t anything too extravagant. Sighing, you trudged to the front door to unlock it so Yoongi would have no problem getting in, before retreating back to your room to find something else to wear. Something that was more relaxed and casual and wasn’t your pj pants or didn’t have a one-year-old pizza sauce stain on them.
Making your way to the dresser you bent down to open the last drawer where you stashed your dozens of leggings, trying to decide between plain black or black with patterns. A very tough choice indeed.
“Well damn the full moon is out tonight!” You heard him say. He slapped the lace elastic band of your thong and laughed. You jumped up, yelping and covering your backside, shocked that he had come up so quickly.
“Dammit, Yoongi! Cut it out!”
He chuckled and sat down on the bed, leaning back on his arms. “Lace panties? Is that all for me?” He smirked.
You rolled your eyes at his crude joke. Your comfort barrier was indeed lowered when he was around you. Both of you had gotten sick and tired of people always asking you two if you were a couple. Yoongi of course, being the little shit he is, just took to saying yes, purposefully saying sexually explicit things and flirting with you just to make the nosy people uncomfortable. For years it had made you laugh, and it still did, but sometimes it made your cheeks flush and your heart flutter just a little bit too much to your liking. You still joked with him nonetheless, covering up your feelings and hoping you weren’t too obvious.
“Oh yeah, definitely for you, daddy.” You chuckled and shimmed into your selected leggings.
“Oh, I’m daddy now, huh? That’s a new one.”
He smiled from ear to ear, that same dorky smile that never failed to make you laugh. Your eyes met in the mirror attached to your dresser, holding each other’s gaze for a moment. You noticed his eyes trailing lower, resting at the flirtatious lace bra you wore. There was only a small space between your breast, the padded cups pushing them up and together. You couldn’t really blame him for looking as it made your tits look damn good. But did he really have to stare so intently, especially when he was biting his lip in concentration? God, that always killed you. “You gonna stop drooling over there, loverboy?” You asked, pulling a tank top over your torso, before giving his shoulder a hard whap to snap him out of it.
He blinked quickly, crashing back down to reality. A rather nervous giggle escaped him. “Took you long enough to pick an outfit. I was about to fall asleep!”
“Oh, you liar! You were staring at me with that fuckboy look on your face.”
He put his hand over his chest feigning being hurt. “I take offense! Maybe you won’t get your present.”
“Present?” Your ears perked up at the sound of the word and your eyes caught sight of the bag by his feet. “Yoongi, you didn’t have to!”
A smirk crossed his face. “Whatever. You say that every year but I know you’re expecting something.”
“I am not!” You snatched the bag from beside him with an excited grin on your face. “You really didn’t have to, though.”
Yoongi shrugged nonchalantly. “You always get me nice stuff for my birthday so I feel like I should go above and beyond for you.”
He was literally the sweetest person (when he wanted to be anyway). Only he would go out of his way to do something so nice for you. You were stunned at his thoughtfulness. It was the reason why you loved him so much. Love-that word lingered in your thoughts as you pulled out the messily wrapped box from the bag. You fingers shook slightly as you peeled the wrapper away, eyes turning wide when the present came into view.
“YOONGI!” you screamed, tossing the box at him.
He threw his head back, cackling while still trying to defend himself from your attacks. You jumped onto him, playfully slapping his shoulders. “You got me a damn vibrator?!”
“Yeah! Then-” he tried to catch his breath from all the laughter. “Then you can stop being so damn grumpy and violent all the time!” He grabbed your wrists and pinned them to your sides while you straddled his chest.
“I can’t fuckin’ believe you!” You struggled against his hold trying to shield him from seeing the rush of color that now decorated your cheeks and tips of your ears.
“But wait-!” He said dramatically. “There’s more!”
Rolling your eyes, you dug your knees into his rib cage trying to get him to let go. “You really are asking for it, aren’t you?” You growled.
He coughed, letting your hands go and tapping your thigh signaling his defeat. “It’s your 21st birthday! Live it up a little! Destress, fuck yourself senseless because we all know your past boyfriends-and girlfriend- haven’t.”
Well…he got you there. You hadn’t had the best string of relationships in the past couple of years. Everything happened during high school so it wasn’t like those were real relationships anyway. Just a couple of kids pretending they were adults. Awkwardly exploring each other’s body was cute for a minute but getting older meant you were missing out on something good. Lately, you hadn’t really had time to yourself since you and Yoongi had gotten the job at the production studio. Not to mention your tiny pocket rocket had been on its last leg after years of abuse. Maybe the stupid vibrator wasn’t such a bad gift after all. But you weren’t going to let him know that. Now way in hell.
“C’mon, look at the rest of the gifts. They’re good. I promise.” He said with a devilish smirk which only meant that you were in for more trouble. With a sigh, you slid off him and grabbed the bag from the floor. Digging through the excessive amount of tissue paper you found 3 cheesy pornos, a tiny packet of clitoral stimulation gel, and a pair of neon green glow-in-the-dark sex dice. You gave him what had got to be your best “what the absolute fuck” face and it just restarted another fit of laughter. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes as he wiped them away and tried to regain his composure.
“Okay, okay so the website I got this off of had this special- free shipping with surprise gifts. Surprise!”
Your face remained the same, unamused by his laughing fits. He took the dice from your hands and rolled them on the floor. “Don’t you wanna-” he looked to see what each die had landed on. “Lick foot? Oooh that’s sexy right?”
He reached his sock clad foot out to poke your tummy gently and your serious facade was broken. “You are the absolute worse, you know that?” You chuckled and waved his foot away from you. You decided to join in on the fun by picking out one of the DVDs and giving it the once over. “Want to watch one of these things and see how awkward and fake it is?”
He sat up and shrugged. “Why the hell not? We can order pizza, my treat, birthday girl.”
“Hell yeah, it better be your treat.” You kissed his cheek appreciatively, grateful for his thoughtful albeit absurd gifts. It was already turning out to be much better than going out to a bar and getting annoyed by strangers. You headed over to the decent sized flat screen opposite of your bed and selected the DVD called “Island Paradise.” You opened the port on your Playstation 4 and set the DVD in, the sight of Yoongi leaving the room momentarily caught in your peripheral vision. You hoped to god there weren’t any more sex toy surprises but knowing Yoongi there was probably a stripper waiting to pop out a cake somewhere.
You heard him rustling through the kitchen but you continued setting up the movie, grabbing your controller and hitting X. “Yoongi, this cinematic masterpiece is about to begin!” you called out.
You turned towards the doorway about ready to go find him in the kitchen but a small flame stopped you. The first few notes of happy birthday filled your eardrums as Yoongi appeared holding a simple cupcake with a candle stuck in the frosting in one hand and a bottle of your favorite liquor in the other. A huge smiled crossed your face as you rushed over to him, wrapping him in a tight hug as he finished singing.
“You big dork” You giggled, wiping your misting eyes.
He placed a kiss on your forehead. “C’mon, make a wish and blow out the candle.”
You bit your lip as you thought about what to wish for. Feeling his gaze on you, you looked up at Yoongi, holding his stare for a moment as the wish crossed your mind. I want Yoongi to be in my life forever. You blew out the candle with a smile, content with your wish.
“Alright now let’s party!” He said, handing the cupcake to you then opening the bottle of liquor.
“We haven’t even ordered the pizza yet!” You protested as you took the melting candle out of the frosting before the wax could contaminate it.
Yoongi took a swig from the bottle before plopping himself in front of the tv on the bed. “Ahh! I will now. I know your order by heart anyway.” He fished his phone from his jean pocket and held the bottle in front of him for you to take.
You grabbed it as you sat down on the floor, careful as not to drop the precious liquid. You took a long harsh sip and turned your attention to the tv, watching the overly dramatic actors think it was somehow ok to fuck on a beach. “You know-” You coughed and rubbed at the burning sensation that remained in your chest from the alcohol. “Fucking on the beach doesn’t even sound appealing. Like sand gets in your crevices, it’s hot, the sun is beaming down on you, no thanks.”
You handed the bottle back to him as he slid down to join you on the floor. “I think it’s just the thrill of public sex that gets people off, it’s not really the sun and sand.”
You nodded in agreement as you grabbed your cupcake and peeled back the wrapper. “True, true.”
Just as you were about to take a bite, Yoongi slapped your hand sending the cupcake straight into your face and smearing frosting everywhere. You were stunned, unable to process what that little shit had done.
“It’s tradition.” he said with a devilish smirk. You wiped the smeared frosting off your face collecting as much as you could in your hand and launching your attack on Yoongi. He yelped and tried to keep you at bay but you shoved him to the floor determined to get your payback.
“You bastard!” you laughed and slapped the frosting across his cheek and nose.
“Ack! Now it’s all over me!”
“Good, you deserve it!”
He shook his head and chuckled, grabbing your wrist and pulling him close to his body. “You got something on your facccceeeee~!” He teased, sticking his tongue out to try and lick the frosting off your cheek.
“Noooooo!” You cried out, trying to keep him at bay. He released your wrist but instead grabbed a hold of your sides to tickle you. Your whole body spasmed and jolted, wriggling around to try and escape his torture. “Stop! Yoongi!”
He was in control now, pinning you down to the floor and wriggling his fingers down your sides, up to your armpits and neck. You tried with all your might to keep him at bay but spent most of the time trying to deflect his tickles and protect your body. Your laughing was uncontrollable and you could barely get a word out.
“Say uncle!”
You gasped for air, turning your head towards his to say your defeat but you were unaware of just how close he was. Your lips met his sending a jolt of electricity through you. Your eyes fluttered open to see the shock on his face melt into complete comfort. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip, collecting some of the frosting to pull into his mouth.
“U-um….Yoongi…” you stammered.
His hand instantly went to the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously. “S-sorry, Y/N…” Though his voice seemed steady his expression was that of a saddened puppy. The silence quickly turned awkward. All your could hear was the thundering of your heart and the harsh nervous swallows of Yoongi. You retrieved a couple tissues from the box on the bedside table, handing some to him before cleaning your face.
“I’m sorry…” You whispered.
“You think of me like a brother, don’t you?” The question caught you off guard, especially when he looked you dead in the eye, awaiting your answer.
“No? I mean, yes? I mean, I don’t-well…like…I’d fuck you if you want?” Your voice squeaked at the last part of that sentence, flabbergasted that you would even admit such a thing.
“What?”
“WHAT?” you repeated his question louder as if that was somehow was going to erase what you had just said. Yes, you were close to Yoongi but you didn’t exactly think of him in a brotherly way either. However, there was always the thought that if you two did indeed get together that something horrible would happen and your friendship would be ruined. You had heard the horror stories about people being miserable after breaking up with their best friends and the friendship never being the same again. But deep in the recesses of your mind, you knew that if the opportunity ever presented itself you might take the plunge. Was that opportunity happening now? Were you really ready for it? Your mind raced a mile a minute, fiddling between pros and cons.
“Y/N, you’re so strange you know that?” he said with a dry laugh. “I feel like you’ve been driving me crazy since high school but I never wanted to be the guy who just became your friend to fuck you. I care about you and it’s so easy to be around you. I could be myself…But I couldn’t help but hate when you were with other people. I tried to hide it for a long time, feeling mocked whenever someone would ask if he were together and you would immediately say no. I just always assumed you never felt that way towards me.”
You shook your head quickly. “It’s there, Yoongi. I was just always afraid of being with my best friend and ruining what we have. What if something happened and we ended up hating each other? I couldn’t stand that.” You wrapped your arms around him tight stifling back tears as your mind played all the worst case scenarios of Yoongi not being in your life. His arms followed suit, keeping you in place against his body.
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Y/N. We’ve been attached for years. I think you’re stuck with me.”
“That doesn’t seem so bad, I guess…” you said with a playful roll of your eyes.
“Sound a little more enthusiastic, why don’t ya?!” he replied. “I’m not drunk enough for these feelings”
“Who the fuck are you kidding, bro?” You reached for the liquor bottle again, taking another long harsh swig. Yoongi followed suit never even showing a sign of discomfort from the high alcohol content.
“Sooo…” he began.
“Sooo?”
“Are we like a thing now?”
A thing? A thing-thing? A really real together together thing?. It was still a little strange to think about but the butterflies in your stomach were already revealing your true feelings. “Maybe we can take it one step at a time?” you offered.
Yoongi nodded. “Ok, one step like…kissing?”
“Kissing?” You chewed at your bottom lip nervously. “Kissing’s cool.”
“Yeah?” He asked, suddenly getting closer. His lips hovered above yours just long enough for you to let out a whimper of approval. He was instantly on you then, cradling your neck in his hands as he laid soft languid kisses on your lips and making your heart skip a beat. You hadn’t expected him to be that gentle yet you relished in the feeling. All the tension in your body slipped away as you relaxed against him, trailing your hands down his sides to rest at his hips. Parting your lips, you let your tongue slide out to greet his, earning a satisfied grunt from him. Your tongues danced together in a chaotic rhythm of ups and downs and swirls that labored your breathing. He cocked his head to the side, deepening the kiss further as you found yourself slowly falling onto your back. The cheap carpet beneath scratched at your skin, digging in as Yoongi settled between your thighs.
His hands had released their hold on your neck and instead took up residence in your own hands. Your fingers entwined, locked together in a hard embrace as neither of you wanted to let go. He slid both pairs of hairs to rest beside your head, keeping your body arched against his. He pulled away then allowing air to refill your lungs, though your head was still angled towards him waiting for the kiss to continue. You heard his low chuckle as he booped your nose gently.
“I like these baby steps.” he said.
You looked down at the minimal space between your bodies. The crotch of his jeans were flush against your thin leggings. “Maybe….maybe another baby step?”
Yoongie raised an eyebrow. “Like?”
“Like…I don’t know…” You winced as the words flew out of your mouth. “A hot makeout and dry humping session like some dumb teenagers in a car?”
He pushed back his hair and laughed. “That’s not even close to a baby step!”
‘I know, I know! I…if you don’t want to we don’t have too. I don’t even know what I’m saying…” You pulled your hands away to cover your face that was now a wonderful shade of crimson.
He took your hands in his once again and kissed them both. “We know each other so it only makes sense that we’re more comfortable with one another.  Maybe it won’t be so bad to skip around a bit. It’s not like we have to get to know each other.”
You couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah…you’re right.” He always had a way of making your feel better.
“Now, get on the bed.” He commanded, pulling his weight off you so you could slide out from beneath him and crawl into the bed, making sure your ass was on full display for him. The fabric of your leggings stretched against the expanse of your ass, making it more see through and showing off the outline of your thong. You settled into the mattress, satisfied with your cheeky antics, especially when you saw the predatory look in Yoongi’s eyes.
He stood up, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and yanked it over his head easily, leaving him in just his tank top and fitted jeans. He made his way onto the bed reclaiming his place between your thighs, forcing one of your legs around him to rest more comfortably against your center. The heat had risen to your cheeks again and you wanted to look away out of sheer embarrassment.
“What?” He chuckled, looking down at you.
Your voice dropped down to a whisper. “I always get nervous and giddy and laugh awkwardly when I do stuff like this. It takes a bit for me to really relax and get into it. I’m sorry if I mess it up.”
“You’re not messing it up. What’s fucking without a little fun? If it’s all serious then it gets boring.” He assured you.
Your hand cupped his cheek gently and he turned to kiss your palm, his signature grin crossing his face. “You always make me feel better.”
“I can make you feel good in more ways than one.” He replied in a sultry tone.
Your hands slipped down his back resting just underneath the hem of his tank top. “Oh really? Prove it then, Min Yoongi. I dare you.” Your challenge was playful but his expression was nothing but. A dark lustfulness filled his eyes.
“Don’t ask for something you can’t handle.” He whispered, catching your earlobe between his teeth.
Your entire body felt like it was on a fire as a lush warmth crept over you,  your mind dangling on that slight threat. You had never seen this side of Yoongi before. Normally, he was a normal sleepy goofball but this Yoongi was electric. Your nervousness ebbed away, replaced with brazen confidence. “That so, pretty boy?” You teased, grabbing a handful of his ass.
He ground his hips into yours, the denim rubbing hard against your mound, eliciting a ragged groan. “Y/N, I’m serious.”
“Do it again…please.“
You could feel his eyes burning into you even though yours were closed, your head thrown back against the pillows. His hips rolled against you again as his tongue traced the muscle in your neck before his teeth sunk in. Your nails mimicked his teeth, digging into the flesh of his lower back to gain more friction. Yoongi decorated your skin in a haphazard pattern of bruises sending shivers down your spine. Your hips came to life, shifting upwards as you came to meet his with every roll. Soft pants shared the space between you as his hands roamed the expanse of your chest, cupping your breasts. His lips never left your neck even when you turned to try and capture his lips in another kiss. He denied you if only for a moment, choosing to occupy his actions with sliding your tank top up and over your head.
A mischievous grin spread across his face. Yoongi’s thumbs grazed against your nipples through the thin lace of your bra, bringing them to pert peaks. His bottom lip was now caught between his teeth as he watched and waited for your reactions. You couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in the devious mind of his but your answer seemed to come in the form of his own question.
“Will you let me do a little bit more than grinding?”
“Depends.” You smirked.
He lowered himself again, slightly hovering above you as his mouth took up residence around your nipple, tonguing it through the fabric while a free hand trailed down your stomach drifting lower and lower until you were literally in the palm of his hand. Your back arched up into his lust filled actions, feeling a familiar ache throughout your lower half.
“Fuck…”You breathed out. Your hand snaked its way into his soft hair, pulling it slightly as you tried to keep him as close as possible. Yoongi groaned, sending vibrations through your sensitive bud while his hand worked its way into a stroking motion, the edge of his palm brushing against your clit. The tips of his fingers pressed against your entrance through the layers of fabric. Your hips were flying at a faster pace desperate to get as much contact as possible, your toes clenching around the bed sheets. His name left your lips in a loud moan. He finally spoke again, his breath tickling the wetness he had left behind on your nipple.
“Shit…if you keep saying my name like that I won’t last much longer.”
You exhaled deeply and chuckled. “Hmm, that all you got then?”
“You’re going to keep challenging me?” he asked quizzically.
You sat up enough to get your hands behind your back to unclasp your bra, tossing it to the side and letting your breasts fall free. His stunned expression made you laugh to yourself as you trailed kisses up his neck making your way to his ear. You slipped your tongue out to trace his earlobe, pulling it into your mouth for a rough nibble. In the distance, you could hear a knock on the door. “Yoongi~” You cooed.
His eyes fluttered open as he bit his lip. “What is it, baby?”
“I think the pizza’s here.” You smirked.
Yoongi tossed his head back and groaned, getting up from the bed to answer the door seeing as he was the only one still mostly clothed. You chuckled as you watched him leave in frustration, you eyes somehow trailing to the corner of your bed where the forgotten vibrator remained. Curiously, you picked it up, reading the description on the back before pulling it out. It was a slim purple glittery stick with a slanted head. A simple button at the end of the handle controlled the vibrations. You pressed it once, watching it come to life in your hands. You pressed it once more, increasing the speed over and over until it was viciously and rather loudly vibrating in your hands.
Yoongi came back then, practically shouting, “Do you know how awkward it is trying to give someone a tip with a raging boner?!”
You laughed and held out the vibrator for him to see. “Look at I! This thing’s a menace!”
He took it from your hands and clicked the button until it was back at it’s lowest setting. “That’s why you start off slow. Do you want to try it out? It is your gift after all.”
He trailed the toy up your thighs, grazing it up and around your center before trailing it down the other thigh.
“Ahh…”You whimpered. “Really?But…”
“We’d have to get rid of these first.” He said plucking at the waistband of your leggings. You bit your lip and nodded, lifting your hips so he could slide your leggings off. He pulled both your leggings and thong off, tossing them to the floor. You watched as his breath caught in his throat as your sex was finally revealed. Though you wanted to keep your legs shut so he would stop staring, you let your thighs fall apart just a bit, your wetness gleaming in the light of the bedside table lamp. Yoongi looked up at you finally putting a stop to his staring. “Close your eyes, ok? And keep them closed.”
You obeyed him, grateful to shield yourself from the knowledge of his prying eyes. You heard him moving around making you wonder for the umpteenth time what he was up too. Suddenly your thighs were pushed further apart, a cool wetness decorating your clit. You gasped as a tingling sensation overwhelmed you. Instantly, your hand went to cover your mouth to abstain from letting out any more embarrassing noises. You thought it was Yoongi’s tongue on your clit but you soon found out that it was busy licking around the tender flesh of your inner thigh. The cool head of the vibrator was the one that met with your clit, rubbing slow tantric circles around it. The dull hum of the vibrations filled your ears as the smooth surface traveled from your opening upwards, teasing your folds and around your clit at the masterful hands of Yoongi.
You body jolted, each pulsation titillating your nerves. Everything felt you heightened though you didn’t know why. Your muscles were tensing with need and you struggled to keep a hold of yourself. Just when the sensation was at its highest, it would slip away like an erotic and torturous wave. He would slide the head of the toy lower keeping it at the rim of your entrance. And though you wanted to plunge your hips down onto it, a harsh bite warned you not to. Yoongi laid his forearm across your waist keeping you pinned to the mattress as he continued to watch your legs squirm around him. Though your eyes were still closed you could feel his gaze burning into you especially when he held just the very tip of the vibe to the tip of your clit eliciting the most whorish moan you never fathomed making.
“That’s it. That’s exactly what I want to hear.” He whispered against your sweat dampened skin. The words stuck to you, imprinting you with a dominance you never expected from your best friend. Your body easily reacted to his arching in eagerness as you teetered on the edge of an orgasm. You couldn’t believe that this little toy was driving you insane, or was it really Yoongi himself; his sultry words, the deep tone to his voice, the horrid teasing that culminated into finally sliding the head of the vibrator inside yet pulling it away just as quickly when you groaned that you were going to cum. His bites turned into hot open mouth kisses against your lower lips. His tongue greedily lapped at your throbbing bud exciting every last nerve within you.
Your hands were desperately clawing at his hair, the muscles int your lower half tensing. The vibrations were angled right against your sensitive spot making your toes curl instantly.
The vibrator hushed into silence. The half-moon indentations on the palm of your hands started to fade as your fingers unfurled from the tense fist you had on his hair. Your ragged breaths slowed though your rage was building as you wondered why he hadn’t let you cum. You opened your eyes to see him licking the vibrator clean. “I’m sorry I’m so selfish, Y/N. But I wanted to be inside you when you cum.”
Your throat closed up. No words came out as you filled the room with a stunned silence. Yoongi didn’t seem to notice the effect his words had on you. He busied himself with finally peeling away his clothes, the prominent outline of his cock that was once trapped within the confines of his jeans now springing free. You stared openly, entranced by the outline of his body being revealed. He had seen you in every state of undress but his body remained mostly a mystery. Seeing him bare before you had your heart beat skipping. He slipped away from the bed and made his way to the dresser. He knew exactly where you kept your stash of condoms thanks to your countless stories about your previous sexual encounters. You realized he listened patiently and with a heavy heart, unable to fulfill his fantasy of being with you. But that was all coming to a head now.
Yoongi returned with a condom, handing it over to you. “Put it on,” he commanded, his voice drenched in lust. You looked up at him, feigning innocence as you instead kissed the head of his cock. Your kisses started as gentle and soft but escalated into sensual licks up his shaft. Each vein skirted across the plains of your tongue. You could head Yoongi’s breathing increase, his hand gripping the headboard so tightly it was shaking. His hips tried to remain still even though he wanted to grab your head and throat-fuck you raw. You looked up at him as you swallowed down most of his shaft.
His breath stilled, a moan getting caught in his throat. You pulled away then, making sure not to stimulate him too much and rolled the condom on him. He glared down at you, only waiting the few seconds for you to put on the rubber before forcing you down onto your stomach. You raised your ass instinctively allowing him easy access to plunge inside you. Your walls stung at the sudden intrusion but you didn’t protest. The little bit of pain made your thighs quiver. You lowered your head flush to the mattress, you fingers rhythmically opening and closing around the sheets. The steady slapping of his hips against your ass making you practically scream your lungs out. His hand traveled up your spine to grip the back of your neck giving him leverage to pound faster into you. Your walls clamped down around him, the constant attention to your spot overcoming your entire body. His free hand met yours, sliding it under your body as he whispered “Cum for me,” against your glistening skin. He guided your fingers towards your clit, slowing down his thrusts a bit as his cock throbbed and ached for sweet release.
Your index and middle finger rubbed furiously at your swollen nub. It was only moments before your body froze, constricting as your orgasm gushed forth, trailing down your thighs and making your entire body shake. You barely heard or felt Yoongi’s release, your mind too clouded in the fuzzy aftermath of the most amazing orgasm you’d ever had. He pulled out slowly tying the condom off and tossing it in the trashcan by the dresser. You curled up on yourself, trying to steady your breath and fighting the urge to completely pass out.
“Hey…” He pushed the hair away from your face and peered down at you. “You ok?”
You gave him a silent thumbs up, not bothering to move.
He chuckled and fixed the pillows that were tossed aside during your romp before propping you against them. You groaned, feeling the ache between your thighs. “What the fuck happened?”
“You squirted.” He said nonchalantly before he took a heavy swig from the liquor bottle. “Probably from the clit gel I used, And the vibrator. And me going to town on your spot. “
You whapped his stomach, embarrassed by his words. “Shut up! I can’t believe you!”
“Hey, I didn’t hear any complaints from you.” He stuck his tongue out like a child before heading towards the kitchen. “Now how about that pizza?”
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toast-connoisseur · 5 years ago
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All the weird asks
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? -I love coffee mugs, tea cups, and wine glasses even though I don’t drink any of those drinks lol
2. chocolate bars or lollipops? -Chocolate bars!
3. bubblegum or cotton candy? -Cotton candy
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? -“a pleasure to have in class” of course!
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? -Nothing beats bottled soda from Mexico!
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? -I guess I’m a bit of goth and tomboy mixed? I don’t think any of these really describe me, I’m more into the retro/rockabilly style.
7. earbuds or headphones? -Earbuds for the most part.
8. movies or tv shows? -Movies!
9. favorite smell in the summer? -Chlorine in pool water.
10. game you were best at in p.e.? -The “soy down and chit chat” we’d play on a rainy day indoors.
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? -Egg and a slice of toast!
12. name of your favorite playlist? -I made my best friend a “From Hot Girl Summer to Thotumn” and it’s pretty lit.
13. lanyard or key ring? -Both? Lanyards are cool though.
14. favorite non-chocolate candy? -Anything with tamarindo!
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? -Rosemary’s Baby although i technically got to pick it for my assignment.
16. most comfortable position to sit in? -I switch a lot because of my back pain but I usually like when my legs are raised.
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? -My chucks!
18. ideal weather? -Sunny with a slight breeze so it’s not hot.
19. sleeping position? -Half on my side. I sleep odd because I want to sleep on my stomach but my boobs won’t let me.
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? -Post it’s and laptop!
21. obsession from childhood? -Stickersss
22. role model? -Dita Von Teese
23. strange habits? -I tend to chew on the side of my tongue while I concentrate. I’ve been told it makes me look stupid.
24. favorite crystal? -Green Aventurine
25. first song you remember hearing? -Something by Shakira probably
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? -Beach!
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? -Cuddle up and watch movies!
28. five songs to describe you? -Dancing Queen (ABBA), Don’t Stop Me Now (Queen), Flawless Remix (Beyoncé ft. Nicki Minaj), Kiss My Sass (Cobra Starship), and Act Up (City Girls)
29. best way to bond with you? -Tell me a secret and I’ll tell you one of mine
30. places that you find sacred? -None now tbh
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? -Uhh a band shirt and leggings? Idk lmao
32. top five favorite vines? -How? I’d have to write all the lines down or hunt links on YouTube lmao
33. most used phrase in your phone? -TEAAA
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? -1 800-588-2300 Empiiiiire TODAY
35. average time you fall asleep? -M-F around 10ish or earlier and weekends I try to sleep late!
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? -The “forever alone” ones lol
37. suitcase or duffel bag? -Depends on where I’m going and for how long.
38. lemonade or tea? -Lemonade
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? -Ohh this one is tough... umm pie?
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? -We always had riots and brawls but one time the way it started in one corner of the school and made it all the way to the other end was funny because you could see how the riot spread.
41. last person you texted? -My sister!
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? -Jacket!
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? -Jean jacket!
44. favorite scent for soap? -For body soap, I like a soft clean scent and for hand soap I like eucalyptus mint.
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? -Sci-Fi!
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? -Pj pants/shorts and a tank top!
47. favorite type of cheese? -Provolone
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? -An Orange, you gotta peel off the layers before you get to the sweet stuff!
49. what saying or quote do you live by? “Life sucks and then you die” -My senior year government teacher
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? -Literal nonsense my friends and I come up with.
51. current stresses? -Work, school, family, the virus... should I continue?
52. favorite font? -I’m honestly so used to Times New Roman that I forget others exist.
53. what is the current state of your hands? -Washed and clean!!
54. what did you learn from your first job? -Kids are fun, adults suck
55. favorite fairy tale? -Cinderella!
56. favorite tradition? -My family doesn’t have any so I’m hoping I’ll have some someday with someone.
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? -All of 2018. Finding a home within a week, keeping a full time job even though I’m exhausted, finishing college
58. four talents you’re proud of having? -I give really good hugs, I’m good at helping people, I’m a self-starter, and I’m very organized
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? -Yiiiikes
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? -I know nothing about anime
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? -“The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.” -Moulin Rouge (2001)
62. seven characters you relate to? -None, really. Which is a good thing considering I mostly read stories about murder mysteries and I am in fact, not a murderer.
63. five songs that would play in your club? -Act Up (City Girls), I Want it That Way (Backstreet Boys), Bye Bye Bye (NSYNC), Shake That Monkey (Too $hort), Oye Mi Amor (Maná)
64. favorite website from your childhood? -Neopets!
65. any permanent scars? -On my pinky from a cut with glass and on my eyebrow from stitches I got
66. favorite flower(s)? -Recently? Peonies
67. good luck charms? -Just the number 17 really
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? -Sea urchin
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -All leaves have symmetry!
70. left or right handed? -I’m right handed for writing, left for everything else really
71. least favorite pattern? -I love all patterns!
72. worst subject? -Math, but I like it?
73. favorite weird flavor combo? -Certain cereals with chocolate milk lol
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? -10
75. when did you lose your first tooth? -I have no idea. All mine fell out early on.
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?’ -Potatoes are my favorite! I’d go with french fries though
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? -The one you can grow out of a little bean lol
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? -Always sushi
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? -School ID
80. earth tones or jewel tones? -Both but I like the pop of jewel tones!
81. fireflies or lightning bugs? -“You would not believe your eyes, if 10 million fireflies...”
82. pc or console? -Console
83. writing or drawing? -Writing. I love to draw, but I’m shit at it
84. podcasts or talk radio? -Podcasts
84. barbie or polly pocket? -Barbieee
85. fairy tales or mythology? -Mythology
86. cookies or cupcakes? -Por que no los dos? Umm cookies!
87. your greatest fear? -Being buried alive
88. your greatest wish? -To be happy
89. who would you put before everyone else? -My nephew
90. luckiest mistake? -Interviewing for an entry level position and getting hired for something higher up
91. boxes or bags? -Depends on what I’m transporting
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? -Sunlight in the morning, fairy lights at night
93. nicknames? -Barbie, Barbz, Dumb Bitch
94. favorite season? -Spring
95. favorite app on your phone? -IG
96. desktop background? -The moon
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? -All my family and I used to have my best friends numbers too but then they switched their numbers and I never re-learned them
98. favorite historical era? -The Modern Era? Minus the racism.
Thanks Anon💕
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