#hoping for triangle of sadness
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rooting for the oscars is a little silly because we all really just need to unite to take down the real enemies: elvis and top gun
#if elvis even looks at best picture I am getting my gun#hoping for triangle of sadness#and banshees of inisherin#eeaao will probably win which would be fine w me#good movie but didn't quite work for me like it did for everyone else#oscars
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so are we like, disembodied voices to you guys?
â
PREV | FIRST | NEXT â
#jsab#just shapes and beats#jsab fanart#ask#jsab sad cube#sad cube#jsab triangle#ally#iris#OK OK I LOVE DROPPING VAGUE LORE HINTS#YAAAY#my favorite part abt this is that the reason why every1 so far has reacted so nonchalantly to the Disembodied Voices#is because they are used to it#which means when we (eventually) encounter someone who is not used to it#it will be quite funny#auuuhh also we should make a counter for every time i change how i draw clouds in the middle of a comic#i dont know why clouds are as difficult as they are but. augh#also i am trying so hard to be cryptic yet have things Make Sense at the same time#i am implying somethin in this comic i hope it os obvious (apologies i am dense)#(and this is my first time eehhhh. writing something like this)#oh well. im doing my best !
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..đđ AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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Old love or new love?
U.M.G. (Unidentified Mysterious Girlfriend) Official Trailer
#unidentified mysterious girlfriend#umg series#nanon korapat#namtan tipnaree#milk pansa#lakornnet#nellsdani#ninisdarlings#userkit#mine#i'm not really into love triangle plot but nanon namtan milk?#it's a feast hehehhehe#i hope they just showed the romance parts more in trailer#bc they're trying to keep the scifi plot in secret#ANYWAY mew would probably end up with fahsai#but i'm still gonna be sad about mewerng#how many MEW MOVE will i shout out while watching umg#umgedit#umg
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[Image id for the two images above: The first image is a scan of the first page of Medina's concept art. There are two versions of Medina's canon portrait, one colored, one uncolored. There is an illustrator's note at the bottom in Japanese. The second image is a translation of that note, which reads, "The face on the bottom of the next page came from the first draft. It didn't look quite right, so I was grumbling to Ikushima about it, and he redrew the whole thing, giving it the look it has now (laughs). Sorry about that, I was pretty busy at the time. In my opinion, she's become the most beautiful woman thanks to you! (Tatsuaki Urushihara)" /End id]
[Image id for the three images above: The first image is a scan of the second page of Medina's concept art. It has several drawings of Medina, including a full-body portrait that shows some details of the belt and pouch she wears, and has an additional illustrator's note at the bottom. The second image is a translation of the title, which reads, "Buff, Debuff Character," and translations for the captions. One points to a feather decoration on her hat and reads, "Feather ornament that resembles a leaf." Another points to her uniform and reads, "Well-made uniform, since they're provided by a medical institution in a rich country." Another caption points to a version of her without her hat, and says, "No hat version." The third image is a translation of the illustrator's note at the bottom of the second page, which reads, "I put this together based off a concept for an apothecary costume in 'Various Daylife' that I was given. (Tatsuaki Urushihara)." /end id]
Translation notes under the cut.
"I put this together based off a concept for an apothecary costume" might have been making a reference to a specific job class in Various Daylife. I looked it up a little and found one called "Herbalist" that might match, but I'm not super familiar with the game myself, so I wasn't 100% sure about it.
#triangle strategy#triangle strategy artbook#ts artbook character ref sheets#medina alliam#I didn't wait for the poll to end lol but hopefully this is easier to read!#I went back and forth on whether or not to include a full version of the translated page#but eventually opted against it because it just felt like extra clutter#feel free to leave tags/reply if you have any thoughts!#but yeah! seems like opposed to other characters Medina's development was a little more gameplay-driven vs story-driven#it's a little sad! I was kinda hoping for more of her backstory#just based off skin tone I kept kinda wondering if she might not be from Aesfrost/Glenbrook originally. but alas#sometimes I go a little nuts about how most of the PCs from Hyzante don't seem to have actually been designed to be ethnically Hyzantian#after looking it up seems like you've got medina geela corentin ezana quahaug archibald and (probably?) narve#which of those only two have a darker skin tone#I'm not calling square enix cowards BUT
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Night Dream Episode 4
Another great, but too short, episode. They're 30ish minutes, but it's not enough!
But Dream's confusion and reluctance to believe Night likes him is starting to make sense if Night keeps kissing him and then leaving! And just never talking about it?!
Night looks at Dream with the most sincere expression and asks about his love story.
He says Dream's crush must love him too. And it starts cutting back and forth between the present and the stargazing scene. At which point, I was like, hmm we've already seen this. What else are we going to see here?
(Do you know he's in love with you, Night? Do you know you're in love with him? Who knows what?!)
And they're just staring at each other and getting closer to each other's faces. And Night's got his hand on Dream's wrist, and he's pulling him closer.
And then they're kissing IN BOTH SCENES! They kissed during the stargazing scene? They KISSED during the STARGAZING SCENE!
I don't know when that scene happened in terms of timeline. Like was that kiss why Dream was going to confess on Night's birthday?
But then Night stops kissing. And he looks away. And Dream wakes up alone and proceeds to be sad and distracted all day.
Night's so confused that he asks his friend at school about love, too. I wonder who's absence could hurt you, Night? Maybe think back to when Dream was gone for 4-5 years?
And we see Night and Dream staring at one another before Night leaves. But I wonder what happened. Did Night break up their kiss again? Did Dream? Why does this keep happening? How many times have these two kissed exactly? They both looked so sad and confused and hurt, so why?!??
Dream just sadly puts the wound tending supplies away :(
And we're left with Night's pondering face. But what is there to ponder, Night? You are in love with your best friend, buddy. Process that, so you two can be happy, please!
This guy is going to tell Namwan he likes her next episode? Why, Night! Did he really kiss Dream with tongue and then just never talk about it with him? What is going on in this man's head?!
I'm hoping it's a misleading preview. I wonder if maybe Dream tries to push him away again. And that's why he tells Namwan that. If he kissed Dream, and Dream told him that he likes Namwan, actually, then he must like Namwan, right? How many times can they kiss and not talk about it?
Other random thoughts for the episode, could Dream and his friends hear Night and Namwan talking? Did Dream think Night was agreeing to date her, if they couldn't hear? Because she was saying friend, but her hands were saying lover. I did really enjoy the two friends spying on Dream and Night and just going "Is it clear?" Yes, yes it is clear. I also loved Night asking if he would confess to his crush and bringing up how people in novels will try to confess but lose their nerve if they're interrupted, since Dream did plan on confessing to Night but got interrupted and then never did. Granted, the interruption was the death of his parents, so he had a lot on his mind at the time.
I really loved Night being ready to fight those bullies for Dream in the past and now. And how the one guy was taunting them by saying, what, are you his boyfriend? And Night's response was just "so what?" đ„°
#night dream#night dream the series#night x dream#dream x night#spoilers#episode 4#i have so many questions#when night started pulling his hand away from dream's wrist? ouch đ#also night definitely said something in one of the stargazing clips#but we couldn't hear it and there were no subtitles#i wonder if that was an error or maybe it was heard in a prior ep and not relevant now#or maybe we'll hear it later?#i will say i'm excited for jealous night next week#but i hope it doesn't have love triangle vibes#i think there's only two episodes left đ#at first i thought they slept together when they showed Dream waking up shirtless#but Night left like that đ© and now they're both sad đ
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idk but saying jennifer lynn barnes sucks at writing romance because your ship wasn't canon is beyond hilarious to me like okay???? HAHHAHAHA. everyone has their own preferences of course but the vehement hatred for jlb and the belittlement of her writing on booktok and bookstagram (sometimes on here) has been ASTOUNDING.
a note about the "poorly done romance/love triangle" in tig: jlb never said it was going to be "even". no one ever said that. personally pioneering the idea that one character was "not given a chance" does not make it a poorly written love triangle or a poorly written romance. in love triangles, there is usually ALWAYS one option who is simply NOT a real option. look me in the eye and tell me characters jeremiah fisher, aspen in the selection series, gale hawthorne, adam kent, jacob black, and i'm sorry but grayson hawthorne amongst a myriad of others were actual contenders for the main character. if you believed they are/wanted them to be, that's great! but all of these characters are in well known love triangles and at the end of the day, books with love triangles WILL sell because they generate conversation and hype around the book. it is a marketing tactic and you are NEVER promised equal opportunity from both love interests. you losing the love triangle or that you believe there is wasted potential doesn't mean bad writing has occurred. also, for the love of god, while you are supposed to relate to a character, you are not the main character!! belly, america, katniss, juliette, avery, what have you, all chose based on who they are as characters. and also, female characters don't have to "experience" both love interests to make a decision. if they want to, that's totally fine, but specifically about avery bc this is what this blog is all about, she absolutely knows what she's "missing out" on with grayson and she doesn't care. shipping averygrayson just blatantly feels like ignoring avery's wants and needs.
anyway, if you want to call jlb's writing poorly done bc you didn't get your way, that's totally fine. you are entitled to your own opinion. it's just funny that you say that bc had grayson and avery been randomly thrown together in the epilogue of tfg or something, i have a feeling you wouldn't be of this opinion.
tldr; love triangles are a marketing tactic and you are neither entitled to a win nor is is poorly done/executed if you lose. love triangles, more often than not, have a clear winner from the beginning (coughcough "see? you're already his") but the debate and drama of another character sells the book.
#the inheritance games#oh god the love triangle discourse is so tiring does it not get OLD????#averyjameson#avery grambs#avery kylie grambs#jennifer lynn barnes#been a while since i went on a rant#tig#if you disagree idrc bc im not trying to convince you that you can't think something is poorly written#averygrayson#anyway! miss you guys#can't wait for the brothers hawthorne!!!!#i think she's a genius romance writer bc im rr tig and she sprinkles in these moments from the very beginning and wow#she has such a big brain#god booktok is annoying and the comments on jlb's insta posts are so??????#like imagine the amount of âhow dare you not make ag endgameâ comments she's gotten (by the same people every post but still) is so weird#âhow are youâ âwhat were you thinkingâ âit was a love triangle and grayson was the right option i'm not reading you books anymoreâ LOL#or âhow are you not let gray be endgame/have avery/be happyâ hm avery isn't a prize and gray doesn't let himself be happy hope that helps!#i thought the sad/chronically unhappy thing was y'all's brand for him but suddenly when he doesn't flip a switch and be :D y'all hate it??#him forgiving himself at the end and letting himself feel was HUGE like ?? ive digressed but tell me you dont understand him w/o telling me
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just did "were i king" tonight and realized that the girl who tries to kill roland
is the same girl (with her brother) who roland observes at the end of the utility route
#triangle strategy#tristrat#roland glenbrook#forgive me if this is common knowledge and for posting in the tag#i don't remember seeing a post on this before and there are only so many tristrat fans on here so đ€#anyways me sad#roland got the better life for his people that he dreamed of and fought to reclaim glenbrook for but at what cost#well. some of his people. since i assume not everyone is on board. but you know what i mean#i haven't done his route in game bc as much as i love him i can't do it but i watched the ending on yt out of curiosity#i hope i have brought new emotional pain to at least one (1) person#update: i have seen one person discuss it but again idk how common the knowledge is
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Also!! Also! The preview for episode 8 made me happy because it looks like they're going to lay everything on the table. Woo-hak (who very obviously has an interest in Mok-ha) is going to clearly ask Bogeol and Mok-ha if they still have feelings for each other and things will be honest and maybe we won't have to fight at all. What a breath of fresh air.
#and woo-hak is the kind of man who will back off if he knows that bg and mh like each other he's a gentleman like that#not saying it won't be sad for him and for me (president of kang woo-hak's fan club) but at least it will hurt less than playing games would#honestly after episode 7 it feels like we may dodge the love triangle bullet completely??#or almost completely#I mean I know that episode previews can be misleading but I have hope#and anyway how can mok-ha and bogeol not be endgame at this point#castaway diva spoilers#castaway diva#kdrama#elly's posts
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i know i know i know awards are bullshit and meaningless but. dolly de leon deserved the best supporting actress nom spot that jamie lee curtis got.
#got bullied into rewatching triangle of sadness again#to be clear itâs my fave film of the year but i had hoped iâd never have to see it again#BUT i did and my GOD sheâs a fucking marvel#even just the change in her tone of voice between the small scenes we see her in on the boat#where sheâs in full subservient customer service mode#vs the island where sheâs the one controlling all the power and resources#itâs subtle but as someone who works in customer service i KNOW that voice i DO that voice
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Golden Globe Nominee, Dolly De Leon
She didn't win, but she's still made history đ„
#dolly de leon#triangle of sadness#Filipino#golden globes#philippines#filipino artists#filipino creators#would not hold my breath but I do hope this is a wake up call for casting directors here in the philippines#made them rethink the kind of talent they've been overlooking
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its Twink Bill. *reads tags* its the ORIGINAL Twink Bill.
so ok yeah fine i watched gravity falls again and read the book of bill
#I hope you know our Lord and savior Alex Hirsch frowns upon you for your actions#in all seriousness I love the idea of human bill. I want to dress him up in stupid outfits#and before you say I could dress him up in stupid outfits as a triangle NO#you BLASPHEMER#just let me have this. Please I'm gay and sad
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At long last: either an alternate explanation for or continuation of my prior comic regarding how Bill was ABSOLUTELY naked in Ford's karaoke night drawing. (Because errors in art do not exist. Artists do not make mistakes. So if you see any in this comic, No You Do Not.)
I am so normal about these old dorks.
I'm not really clear on exactly when Bill started throwing his desperation book at Ford just like a needy ex do, but I find it extremely funny to imagine it happening literally the day of or after the makeshift funeral. Bill just gets this weird sense of 'Ford is taking steps to move on' and CANNOT FUCKING ABIDE.
I hope you enjoy all the goofy things I added to each page of Bill's sad spieling. (Everything SHOULD be readable so long as you view the full size, but I have added basically this whole little fanfic in the image descriptions, LMAO, which lays out all the little written notes and such.) Also don't ask how Bill managed to sneak that vampire pen in there. I have no idea, and honestly? I don't wanna know.
Oh, and a little bonus comic:
Of course Bill would take it as flirting. Because between the two of them, Bill is the bigger masochist By Far. :)
Also I have continued applying The Good Place logic to any of Bill's attempts to swear. Case in point, one last bonus image, this time with a motivational line from my slapdash Theraprism OC, EV-01:
Yes, its name is just 'love' backwards. No, I will not be taking any feedback on this. Yes, EV-01 was only ever assigned to Bill's case due to the Theraprism being desperate to make some progress in rehabilitating him. No, it did not work anywhere close to staff's expectations - Bill didn't even appreciate EV-01's matching fondness for bowties! (He claimed the fondness to be "cultural appropriation" and insisted he'd been traumatized by it.)
Anyway, if you like my stuff, reblogs are very much appreciated, and if you really really like it, perhaps consider my commissions or yeeting a teeny tiny tip my way? I am trying to recoup over 500 dollars in vet bills, ahaha... đ
In other news, I loved all the fun tags people added to the prior naked-karaoke comic (such as 'the hat and bow-tie stay ON during sex' and the classic '[insert keysmash here]', as well as the many amused/bewildered remarks about how I either made the bricks a piece of clothing or just straight up peeled Bill's skin off). However, I think my favorite thing by far was the several people losing their shit over the fact that I gave Bill toes. Like, excuse me? The magical talking triangle can have fingers but not toes??? Since when was that a rule????? đ€Ł (Also the one person who reblogged with the cropped panel where Bill's fishnets pants are falling off to ask why Bill peed himself. Dude, I want to examine your brain...?)
Okie-dokie, I'm sick of looking at all of this stuff now and I'm off to go to work, after which I will either scribble some more goofy "Billford" comics or perhaps draw my lame human!Bill in Situations, idk yet. Maybe I'll even finally draw more than just a single other person's human!Bill...? Who knows, but I sure hope I can mix it up a little and not turn whatever I draw into a month-long fukken project. >:\
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#comics#i can't believe gravity falls and billford keep on trending almost three full months after the book of bill's release#this is incredible#maybe i will add more tags later idk#i have to go to WORK now blehhhhhh#oh right: Do Not Repost (good luck anyway lol. this is So Many images and all of them are Big XD)
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Art for Sycras, Svarog, and Dragan! They were all on the same 2 pages together, so I've put them together here as well.
Translation notes:
I tried to find a real meaning for "Hat U30," but came up short. It might be a unique label that the designers gave the hat, or it might just be that I misunderstood the characters.
"What a good idea!!" seemed to definitely have the word "What" in it, but I wasn't completely sure about the rest. It might have also been something like "What are you doing!!" but since Sycras seems to be smiling + there's no question mark, I decided to go with "What a good idea!!"
#triangle strategy#sycras diutte#svarog aesfrost#dragan aesfrost#triangle strategy artbook#I was really hoping we'd get some baby Dragan + Svarog doodles#I just!!! want to see Svarog and Dragan interacting!!! we only really get to see Svarog mourning and I for one think that's really sad!!!!#ts artbook character ref sheets
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THE SALT UNDER THE SEA ËË ìŹìŹì€Í ⚟ ë°ìą
ì± âžÂ part two of the playerâs game seriesâplaylist & series tag
the death of your grandma has you returning back to your motherâs seaside hometownâthe same town you left jake in a year agoâfor good. now that youâre back, so are the feelings you really desperately wished to leave behind. it doesnât help that now youâre caught in the crossfire of two guys with a rough past who want to be with you.
pairing ââžâžâž sim jaeyun x reader, park jongseong x reader đ” iηcâudᄱs đ cousin jungwon, bestfriend!jay, player!sunghoon, and oc hana (jakeâs ex)
genreïčđïčâžâžâž exes to lovers, bestfriends to ???, angst, smut, fluff, lifeguard!jake, ex player!jake, bestfriend!jay, lifeguard!jay, lifeguarding inaccuracies, love triangle, slice of life, some h2o references, beach au, summer romance
warnings ââžâžâž if you didnât like reader in the first part then you wonât like her in this one, readerâs grandma passing, alcohol, multiple unprotected sex scenes, soft dom!jake, mean dom!jay, toxicity, jayke constantly one-uping each other, jealousy and possessiveness, arguing, size training, marking, inexperienced!reader, blowjob/handjob, riding, corruption kink, jake is a munch, pussy eating, oral fixation?, cum swallowing, slight fingering, petnames (baby, pretty, good girl), name calling (slut, whore), praise, reader gets talked through it, creampies, degradation, hair pulling (both m. & f. rec), dirty talk, rough sex, overstimulation, slight manhandling, body worship, dumbification?, cockwarming, service top!jake, pussy drunk!jayke, pictures & videos taken during sex, cumshots/facials
kipoâs note ââžâžâž literally went through hell trying to get this part two out but here we are!!! once again, this is for the lovely @jjunberry ⥠literally this wouldnât even be here without you so i hope you like it!! (âËáșË) thank you to all of you for being on this (very long) journey with me! hehe ^^ i hope you all enjoy this!! Í ÍÍ Í ÍÍ Í Í Í ÍÍ Í ÍÍ Í Í Í ïž”ÍĄ đđĄđĄ đđđđđđđđ đđŁđ đ§đđđĄđ€đđš đđ§đ đŹđđĄđđ€đąđ (ââżâ)âĄ
âż [ 27.5k ] â [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]
[ BEFORE â ONE MONTH SINCE LAST SUMMER ] đŒ the salt in your wounds still lingers.
just when you thought your life was finally getting better, finally getting back on track after the summer youâve had, everything comes crashing down with just one phone call.
it was like watching a car crash in slow motion, your motherâs face. you knew from the start that your grandma wasnât going to make it, and you couldnât help but feel guilty. a mere month since you left⊠would things be different if you and your mom stayed in her seaside hometown like originally planned? deep down, it felt like it was all your fault.
two more months passed before your grandma passed on. âfrom the sea i came and to the sea i shall return,â she always told you. âdonât be sad when i go, when you see the ocean waves that will be me saying hello.â the day it happened your mom had already booked the next flight out for her funeral.
going through your belongings as you pack your bags makes your guilt run deeper and all it does is make your mind flash back to just three months ago when you were by the sea and everything felt too much. your eyes travel to your dresserâjakeâs note and all the developed pictures sat safely in an old jewelry box that you havenât touched since putting the items in there. you didnât even look at the pictures after you had gotten them developed, it just hurt too much.
still, your mind was muddled and as you finished packing your suitcase to the brim nothing became clearer. these three months gave you plenty of time to think over the entirety of last summer with detached emotionsâa new perspective.
do you still love jake? of course you did, itâs most likely that you always will. how could you not? he was your first love. do you forgive him for everything that he put you through last summer? you still werenât sure.
but damn if you didnât miss him.
for the first time you felt the urge to look at the pictures you and him tookâfingers twitched towards the jewelry box. with a sigh, you stood from your bed and grabbed it, the soft music playing as you opened the lid. carefully, you grabbed the pictures and made your way back to your bed.
as you flipped through all of them, a memory came to the forefront of your mind with each photo.
a smile pulled at your lips at the photo, it was of you with a shocked smile next to a brightly smiling jake. his arm was around your waist and the two of you were almost chest to chest. âi want my first memory to be of you.â
another of the two of you, a wall of graffiti behind youâright after your first kiss. jake was pressing a kiss to your cheek and you looked flustered. âyou said you wanted physical memories, right? say cheese!â
the last one you looked at was of you, jake, and sunghoon before you noticed the tears blurring your vision. the three of you smiling as jake pulled you all close together for the camera. âgroup picture!â
you glanced over to your phone on your bed. even now, jake still contacts you everydayâeven if you donât answer him. mainly itâs been him checking up on you and making sure that youâre okay, asking how your day was. you havenât answered a single one of them, yet he hasnât stopped. against your better judgement, you read every message that came inâthe most recent being his condolences.
you donât know what to say to him. so many things have been left unsaid that every time you go to type a message your fingers freeze and your mind runs with everything you want to tell him. then you decide to just not say anything at all. besides, you didnât think you'd ever see him again, so whatâs the point?
if you were being honest, a part of you is still closed off, untrusting of him. you didnât want to give your heart to him in fear he might break it again. you refused to feel like that again.
with a heavy and shaky sigh you put the pictures back where they belonged and made your way downstairs with your suitcase.
the next day you were on a flight to your motherâs seaside hometown, just like you were three months ago. jakeâs letter filled your mind and your dreams surrounded him.
âi love you. i love you. i loveââ
your mom nudged you awake just as the plane was beginning to land. you rubbed your bleary eyes and blinked rapidly to try and get your eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight. nudging you again, your mom said, âwake up, weâre about to land.â
deja vu hit you and hit you hard. rolling out your sore neck, you prepared yourself for the landing. you still hated planes.
the drive to your auntâs house was silent, as you got settled in and prepared for the funeral it was even quieter. your ears practically rang with the sound of silence and your body felt like it weighed a ton with the heaviness lingering in the air.
you all were dressed in black in the living room. your aunt was desperately trying to lighten the mood, and it was only half working. âcome on everyone, you know sheâd come back from the grave and kill us if she saw our faces right now! she wouldnât want us to be sad.â
your mom nodded sadly, reciting your grandmaâs words. âdonât be sad when i go, when you see the ocean waves that will be me saying hello.â
âexactly! now letâs go and celebrate the life she lived instead of being sad it came to an end!â your aunt smiled softly.
it was a lovely service, your grandmaâs funeral. you think that she would be happy with it.
you and jungwon decided to walk back home after the funeral. honestly, you both didnât think you could be in a car with the dark cloud surrounding you all, it felt too claustrophobic.
on the way home you both stopped at a food place since you were still hungry. the two of you ate silently before jungwon looked behind you and suddenly stood to his feet, murmuring a quick âiâll be right back.â
you looked behind you at his retreating figure, confused. just as you were turning back to your food you saw it out of the corner of your eye. your heart stopped. you could barely see with jungwon blocking the way but you could spot him anywhere.
it was jake.
you continued eating. you werenât ready to face him, especially not right now. you donât think you could even look at him right now. instead, you opted to watch the scene from the corner of your eye.
you could barely hear jungwon and jakeâs conversation, only managing to hear jungwon say, âshe really doesnât need any drama right now, manâŠâ jake backed off, but not before you turned and the two of you made the briefest of eye contact before you quickly looked away, taking another bite out of your sandwich.
all you managed to catch was the blonde of his hair that he pushed off his forehead as he turned.
now you wished you took the chance to get a good look at him. itâs only been three months since you last saw him, but already you were forgetting the exact color of his eyes and the way his voice sounded. were they more of a honey brown or a mahogany? you didnât remember.
it was eating away at you how much you already forgot.
you and jungwon finished your food in silence. before the two of you walked back home, he asked if you wanted to swim before you left. you shook your head as you stared out to the sea. it was a sunny day, but you just couldnât bear to step off the boardwalk. âmaybe next time i visit,â you said, though you didnât know if there would be a next time.
[ RETURN â A YEAR SINCE YOUâVE TOUCHED SAND ] đŒ two hundred seventy-four days since youâve last seen him.
your heart beat fast as you looked out the plane window to your motherâs seaside hometownâyour new home. there was no need for your mom to nudge you awake since you werenât able to sleep for the entirety you were on the plane, the nerves were eating at you.
you never thought youâd be back here, never thought that youâd ever say goodbye to your own hometownâwhich was also your late fatherâsâbut here you were.
when your mom told you that youâd be moving here permanently you didnât know how to feel. on one hand, you understood your momâs decision. it was just you and her out there miles away from your family and everything mustâve reminded her of your father. it reminded you of him too. on the other hand, you desperately wished she would change her mind.
it was enough seeing that one glimpse of jake nine months ago, but to see him over and over and over again? you didnât think you could take it. he still texted you, even more now since, and you still havenât answered. things between the two of you still remain unsaid.
but you also couldnât help but count down the seconds until you laid your eyes on him again. it set your skin alight and you couldnât help the small smile on your face and the giddiness you felt. was it selfish, yes, but after everything you think youâre finally ready to face him again.
to give your relationship another chance. to give him your heart again and not be fearful that he would break it, that heâd keep it guarded and safe. after all, he said he would wait for you.
and if he didnât protect your heart, youâd pull back and it would be as if you never had anything to do with him again.
ây/n? are you listening?â you heard your motherâs voice call out. you snapped back to reality, blinking a couple of times to get your wits.
you were no longer on the plane. now you were lugging suitcases into your auntâs house. your aunt was delighted to hear that you and your mom would be moving here. there was plenty of room in the house until the two of you got your own place.
âmhm,â you mumbled, though you definitely werenât listening.
your mom sat the suitcase she was carrying in front of you and grabbed your shoulders. âis it that boy from last summer? what was his name? jacob?â
âjake,â jungwon answered for you as he walked out the front door to grab more boxes.
your mom snapped her fingers. âjake! thatâs it. listen, i know you had some problems moving here because of him, but use this as a way to put yourself out there more than last summer! thereâs more wonderful people here than just jake.â she gave you a sympathetic smile and continued carrying stuff inside while you remained planted to the same spot in the driveway.
it wasnât âjust jakeâ that worried you. it was all of his friends and hana. you didnât want another summer full of drama, especially if you and jake did start dating again.
getting all your boxes and suitcases into the house went quick and relatively easy. you decided on unpacking all of your things later, right now your mind was too clouded.
jakeâs letter sat carefully in your anxious hands. you mustâve read it a million times over now and you could barely wrap your head around it still.
âtwo people who are meant to be will always find a way back to each other. and we are meant to be. no matter how long it takes, iâll wait for you.â
it was now or never. you grabbed your phone and opened your messages up to your conversation with jake. his last message was from this morning, hoping that you had a good day today. he must not know that youâre back and for good. with a shaky sigh, you let your fingers move across the keyboard.
you: meet me at our spot.
your hands shook as you quickly made your way downstairs and out the front door. your heart raced and your breathing was labored as you let your feet guide you. the more you thought about jake the faster your feet carried you towards him.
you felt the smile grow on your face as you caught a glimpse of the sea and the sand, the grittiness already finding its way into your sandals. you were moving so fast that you didnât notice the person in front of you until you smacked directly into their chest.
âoh my god!â you exclaimed as you came to a sudden halt, eyes wide, âiâm so sorry, i wasnât paying attention to where i was going!â
âweâve got to stop meeting like this,â a familiar voice joked. you looked up, the smile on your face widening more as you stood face to face with jay again. his smile matched yours and you laughed out of disbelief.
âjay!â you laughed, âitâs been a while, how have you been?â
jay ran a hand through his damp hair. âsame old, same old. how have you been? i heard you left this place for dead! never thought iâd see you back here again.â the teasing in his voice was obvious but you could see the concern in his eyes. flashes of the last time you saw him ran through your mind. funnily enough, you ran straight into him just a year ago while running from jake.
your smile faltered slightly but you tried your hardest to not think about last year. âwell, let me be the first to tell you that iâm back for good!â jayâs eyebrows raised in shock and you nodded. âjust moved back with my mom! youâll be seeing me around a lot more now,â you continued playfully.
âiâm sorry about your loss, by the way,â jay said, expression suddenly serious. you waved a hand in the air, letting him know that it was okay. time and place. âwell, iâm glad youâre back! this place really sucks without someone like you around,â jay added.
laughing you shook your head slightly, âthen we should hang out sometime!â
âtext me the plans and iâm there!â jay replied and pulled out his phone. he passed it to you with a ânew contactâ screen opened and you quickly filled out your information.
âi gotta go, but we will be hanging out sometime this week!â you waved as you began to step away. jay nodded with a smile. âclear your schedule!â you tossed over your shoulder as you walked away. behind you, you heard jayâs laugh.
âwouldnât miss it for the world!â
you shook your head, continuing on your path to you and jakeâs âspot.â this time you took your walk slow so you wouldnât run headfirst into anybody else.
jake nodded along absentmindedly to whatever sunghoon was saying to him, not listening at all as he stared out at the people swimming in the ocean and the calm ocean waves.
he was bored out of his mind.
suddenly his phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket. jake blinked a couple times to make sure what he was seeing was real. once he saw that it was you who was undoubtedly texting him, he jumped to his feet.
you: meet me at our spot.
ââand then i told her that i already warned her. this is the relationship that sheâhey! what the fuck, jake?â sunghoon called behind him as jake suddenly took off.
jake could care less about sunghoon right now when you were here. youâre finally back, and not only thatâyouâre asking to see him. jake feels like his heart might explode. nine months since heâs last gotten the tiniest glimpse of you. nine months since he last had his breath taken away. a whole year since youâve slipped through his fingers.
he wasnât letting you go this time.
âwhere are you going?â sunghoon yelled, yet jake made no efforts to stop or even slow down. distantly, he could hear sunghoon shout, âasshole!â
like always, jake made it to your spot before you did. itâs only mere seconds until youâre arriving after him, taking his breath away once again as he goes to turn and sees you standing there.
you look so different, yet the exact same as when he last saw you. all jake can do is stare at you wide-eyed, mouth agape as his head completely empties.
ây/n,â jake finally breathes.
in response, you inhale sharply. âjakeâŠâ you notice that his hair is itâs natural colorâa dark brown. the blonde hair he had last year is nowhere to be seen whatsoever and his hair is even longer than it was, half of it disheveled and touching the top of his lips and the other half tucked semi-neatly behind his ear. and his eyes⊠how could you ever forget?
brown moonstone. they look just as they did when the two of you laid under the stars together.
without thinking the two of you rush towards each other before abruptly stopping just inches away. hesitantly, jake closes the gap as he reaches towards you and gently places his hand on your cheek. you can feel the way it tremorsâas if his hand might go through you. he takes a small step towards you until you can almost feel his breath fan across your cheeks as your eyes flutter closed for the briefest of moments.
as they open you look up at him, at the eyes that put you through so much. you pressed your lips to his softly.
instantly, jake is kissing you back. in it, you can feel everything that heâs been wanting to say to you for the past year. the kiss is desperate, searing, and passionate. it rips the oxygen right from your lungs and still you wrap your arms around jakeâs neck to pull him closer. like if you stopped kissing him the world would crumble beneath the two of you.
only when you both canât stand the suffocation anymore do you pull awayâjust barely. your heavy breathing mixes and your eyes are still closed. your grip on the back of his shirt tightens and jake leans his forehead against yours heavily.
âi missed you,â he says, just above a whisper. âi missed you so fucking much, you donât understand. iâm so sorry.â
you kiss him again because itâs the only way you can show him how much you missed him too. jakeâs hands move to your waist and pulls you closer so youâre completely pressed up against him.
memories of last summer force itâs way through your clouded mind. the two of you standing in this exact spot as he begged you not to leave.
abruptly, you broke away from him, hands pushing against his chest as you took several steps back. you turned your back to him as you tried to catch your breath, running your hands down your face. inhaling sharply, tears sprang to your eyes at all of the overwhelming emotions you were feeling. exhaling, you tried to steady your heartbeat that filled your ears.
being in this place wasnât helping. as you looked around the rocky walls, more and more memories flowed through your mind. âi hate you,â you spoke, turning completely to face jake. your voice lacked the punch the phrase needed. instead, it sounded almost⊠defeated. a tear slid down your cheek.
âi know,â jake replied. he knew what you were really saying, could feel it in the same desperate way you kissed him back.
âand i hate you for what youâve done to me,â you added while drawing closer to him.
âi know.â
you drew closer until your tight fists weâre resting against his chest. you avoided his eyes as more tears fell. âand i hate that i spent the entire year we were apart only thinking about youâi hate you.â
jake could feel the way your body shook against him. he took your closed fists into his hands. âi know, baby, i know.â
and he did. he knew that âi hate youâ really meant âi love you.â and you did. you really did love him.
jake moved your hands back to your sides, letting them go but having his hands still hovering near them. âwalk with me?â he asked, moving to wipe your tears away with the pads of his thumbs gently. you nodded in response as you stared at him finally. jake dipped his head down towards you and softly pressed a kiss against your lips before guiding you out of the cave-like opening.
silently, the two of you walked side-by-side in the sand through less populated paths. you both didnât speak, and it was probably for the best as you both processed everything between the two of you.
you were walking along an empty part of the beach, the sun just beginning to set, when you decided to break the silence. âi missed you too,â you spoke, your eyes following the way your feet left footprints in the sand.
you looked to your side at jake, âi really missed you.â
the two of you came to a stop. jake looked at you with furrowed brows, like he still couldnât believe if what he was experiencing right now was true or not. he kissed you.
if even possible, this kiss was more passionate and desperate than the last. your already swollen lips were hot to the touch and no matter how much the two of you pulled each other closer, it wasnât close enough. the kiss then turned feverish and you both pulled away to breathe. a silent question hung in the air and you nodded ever so slightly.
jake then intertwined your hands, pulling you off into some direction you werenât familiar with until he was pulling you into a house that you could only assume was his. you barely even wrapped your head around the fact that you were actually in his house for the first time before he was pulling you up the stairs and into his room.
his lips met yours again and finally all the unsaid things spilled out from between the two of you as you pulled each otherâs clothes off. jake laid you on the bed, fingers just barely gripping the waistband of your shorts and underwear. you were under him in just that and your bra.
âyes or no?â he asked you breathlessly, voice low.
âyes,â you responded. just as fast as you did, you were half naked underneath him. jake didnât wait as he unclasped your bra with one hand and tossed it somewhere out of sight as his lips smashed against yours. he pulled away and you barely got to blink before the both of you were completely naked.
you watched as jake reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the ponytail off of it. he messily tied back his hair before placing hot kisses down your stomach. you fought the urge not to moan. he continued slowly down your stomach and just when he reached right above where you needed him the most, he looked up at you with his signature smirk.
you inhaled and his lips attached to your core, causing you to gasp loudly. his arms wrapped tightly around your thighs to keep them apart as his tongue pulled you closer and closer over the edge. you almost broke completely when he pushed his fingers inside you, curling them at just the right angle that made you see stars.
your hands were in his hairâmessing up his already messy ponytailâand your moans filled his bedroom, not even worried that someone else could be in the house. all you cared about was how good he was making you feel and how much you missed his body on yours.
it didnât take long until the rope was snapping and you shakily told him that you were about to cum. moments later jakeâs fingers and mouth was dripping and he was licking them clean while you hazily stared at him, mind too foggy until his lips were suddenly on yours again and his hands were trailing up your sides.
âi need you,â you whined softly as you stared into jakeâs eyes, âplease.â you clawed at his back in attempt to bring him closer, your body on fire and he was the only way to bring down the heat.
jake pressed a soft kiss to your lips and looked down between your bodies as he lined his hard and dripping cock up with your entrance. he looked up, âtell me if it hurts, okay?â you nodded in return, bucking your hips up slightly and gasping when the tip of his cock grazed your sensitive clit.
slowly, jake pushed into you and it was much less uncomfortable than it was the first time. he waited a moment, eyeing the way your body reacted before looking at you in a silent question. you nodded and slowly he began to move.
high-pitched moans and whimpers left your mouth the more and more your body adjusted to him, and the more and more euphoric you felt. you and jake left love bites all over each otherâs bodies without a care of the fact that it was in places people could definitely see, you were too caught up in the feeling of him surrounding you and jake was too caught up in the fact that you were finally in his arms again.
he barely let you out of his grasp, body firmly pushed against yours, as he moved in and out of you at a steady pace. his head was cloudy with your pretty sounds and his lips nipped at any skin he could. jake wished the both of you could stay like this forever, just the two of you together. he was scared of what would happen when he pulled out of you and it all ended.
would you regret it? say it was a mistake and that he should pretend like it never happened? or would this push the two of you back together again like he hoped? after all, you were the only one for him.
you inhaled sharply, brows drawn together and back arching off the soft blankets, and jake knew your body well enough before you started to clench down on him that you were about to come undone on him again. âj-jakeâŠâ you whimpered as your eyes squeezed shut.
âshh, baby, i know.â he moved so his thumb was now rubbing circles into your clit and watched the way you tried to shut your legs with a soft chuckle. he held them apart with his free hand. âlet go for me,â he murmured, continuing his pace.
jake moaned and bit down hard on his bottom lip the more you clenched down on his poor cock. he felt like he was going to lose it at any moment as he tried to bring you closer and closer to the edge. âthat feels good, yeah?â he asked you, accent thick and low. that sent you right over the edge, incoherent words falling from your lips, and you made a complete mess on his cock.
âshit,â jake said sharply before a moan escaped him. the sight went straight to his dick and it was almost instant with the way it twitched and he was cumming inside you, filling you up even more. his hips moved lazily, watching the way the cum spilled out of you and around him, painting his cock a pretty white.
slowly he pulled out of you and you whined at the loss of him, fingernails digging into his shoulders. more creamy white spilled out of you in a thick load and jake fought the urge to not push himself back into you and fuck you again.
he kissed your inner thighs and slowly made his way up your stomach and until he reached your lips in a heated kiss. your fingers raked through his hair, causing it to fall from the ponytail and spill out around both of your faces. once the both of you pulled away for air, you couldnât help but giggle.
âwhat?â jake said, looking down at you with a bright smile. you shook your head. you were honestly just glad to be with him. you leaned up to catch his lips in another kiss. it felt like you were addicted to his lips and you cursed yourself in your head for ever putting you in the situation where you mightâve never been able to kiss them again.
jake looked at you fondly. âstay here, iâll get something to clean you up.â
after a brief moment he came back with a damp cloth and a towel and gently wiped you down, making sure not to press too hard since you were still sensitive. once he was satisfied he laid down next to you and pulled you to his chest. âyou did so good for me, pretty.â
your heart swirled at the familiar petname.
you werenât sure when the two of you fell asleep or for how long, the sunâs golden rays just peaking above the horizon and starting a beautiful sunset, before you woke up. jake was still sound asleep next to you, the two of you still naked, and you slowly and quietly got up from the bed. you decided to take a look around his room since youâve never been in it before.
he had old trophies and medals for various things, one of them being swimming, along with pictures of what you assumed to be an old swim team. there was pictures of his family and friends around that brought a smile to your face the more you looked at them. one in particular caught your eye. it was a polaroid of jake, jay, and jakeâs bestfriend sunghoon.
you eyes widened. you thought jake and jay hated each otherâif last summer was anything to show. why did they have a picture together? under it you saw that somebody wrote âswimming buds for life!â you checked the other pictures he had around again but this was the only photo that included jay. it made your head spin.
a familiar picture on his desk caught your eyes and you moved towards that instead. jake had gotten the pictures you took last summer developed too and had even dated them on the back. gently, you took the stack into your hands and looked at the picture on top.
it was the two of you at the abandoned skate park where you had your first kiss together. your head was tilted against his as you both smiled for the camera. a smile made its way onto your face and continued to grow as you continued flipping through the pictures, making your way to sit on the edge of jakeâs bed.
you felt movement behind you and suddenly arms were wrapped around you as jake leaned up behind you to look over your shoulder. you gasped lightly when his hands rested at the lowest part of your hips and he placed feather-light kisses along your neck. âyour awake,â you smiled as a chill ran down you, causing jake to chuckle lowly, sleep still at the edges of his voice. âi am.â
suddenly you were reminded at the fact that you both were still naked and the way your pussy now throbbed at his sleepy voice. you swallowed thickly and turned your attention back to the pictures in your hands. flipping the picture on the top to the back, you gasped and turned to jake in slight shock.
in your hands laid multiple pictures of you completely fucked out and dripping cum on a picnic blanket, illuminated by the moonlight and the flash of the camera. âasshole!â you nudged jake with a shocked smile and pulling a laugh from him. âi can't believe you took pictures of this!â
you looked back to the pictures with wide eyes as jake laughed more. ânot funnyâŠâ you mumbled with a pout. you held one up where you were in full view of the camera along with jakeâs cum covered cock hovering above you, âi look so out of it.â
jake took the photo from you and inspected it with a grin. âyou were.â
you nudged him again, hard. jake laughed and wrapped his arms around you to pull you into him, placing kisses along your jaw. âit doesnât matter,â he started, leaning his head against yours so his lips were near your ear, âthese ones are for my eyes only.â
you giggled sheepishly, pushing him away from you as you tried to not let a wet patch form beneath you. you looked towards the window through the barely opened blinds. the sun was just about to set and you knew your mom was most likely wondering where youâve been all day. jake followed your stare and you heard him sigh softly. âi should probably head home,â you stated quietly.
you turned to look at him, seriousness suddenly seeping into your features. âweâre gonna have to talk about this⊠about what this all meansâŠâ
âwe can go slow,â jake said, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. âitâll mean whatever you want it to mean.â
âbit too late to go slow,â you chuckled and he followed. you looked down to your lap, fingers fidgeting with the edge of the towel next to you. âi really donât want drama this summer, jake.â
you glanced up to look him in the eyes, those pretty brown eyes of his. âi donât think i can take another summer full of it,â you continued. jake nodded in agreement.
âthis summer is just for the two of us. i promise.â
you let his words sink in before leaning up to place your lips against his in a soft and slow kiss. ânowâŠâ jake said as he pulled away, âare we just gonna stay naked, or what? because iâm really starting to lose my mind over here.â
heat crept across your face, especially as his eyes dropped to your nakedness. you covered your face with your hands as you turned away, jakeâs laughter behind you, and moved to where he threw your articles of clothing. âtimeout!â you muttered, as you pulled your panties on.
jake laughed more, âagain?! hm, weâll seeâŠâ he got up to get clothed as well. âlet me walk you home.â
[ SUMMER â THE TIDES ARE PULLED BY THE MOON ] đŒ and you are pulled by him.
you almost jumped out of you skin, fingers grabbing at your pajamas, as you opened the bathroom door and were immediately face to face with your cousin jungwon. âjesus!â you nearly screeched as you held onto the door.
âso⊠jake walking you home, huh? whatâs that all about?â jungwon asked. he took a few steps back to let you leave the doorway of the bathroom and you leaned against the wall nearest to it.
it was dark outside now and your face heated at the mention of jake. fumbling over your words slightly, you replied, âwe were just⊠talking things from last summer over. he wanted to apologize in person.â
more heat spread across your face. it was surely one way to apologizeâŠ
in order for jungwon to not see your flustered face, you turned and made your way to your room, jungwon following in tow. you opened your door and walked around the room as you got ready for bed. discreetly, you tried to hide all of the love bites on you, suddenly regretting being so careless about where jake marked you.
âhm,â jungwon hummed, âare you planning on getting back together with him?â he sat at the edge of your bed, eyes trailing your movements. you saw the way his eyes stared too hard at a spot on your neck with a raised eyebrow.
you sighed softly. truly, you werenât sure quite yet. you had just arrived and it was too early to tell how this summer was going to fair. and you really didnât want this summer to be a repeat of the last one. you wanted to get more settled in before you decided to make any rash decisionsâeven though you and jake had already slept together just mere hours after you arrived.
you sighed to yourself again. maybe that wasnât the best of ideas.
âi donât know,â you replied, plopping down onto your bed next to him. âafter everything⊠i-i just donât want to be caught in another web. i canât go through that again.â
jungwon nodded solemnly and rested a comforting hand on your back. âwhatever you chooseâbe careful, y/n.â
this time you felt the gravity of his wordsâthe same words he told you last summer when he tried to warn you in meddling in things you were unfamiliar with. in getting involved with jake and his and his friendsâ game. when everyone tried to warn you.
even if jake claims that heâs changed, you needed to see it for yourself. not just through words, but through actions. and then, and only then, would you consider giving your whole relationship another chance.
âwhatever happens, iâm here for you,â jungwon continued. you gave him a warm smile. âi will. and thank you,â you replied.
after talking to jungwon you decided to text jake with your requirements. your thumbs fiddled with each other and your heart raced as you waited for the three little dots that indicated he was replying to show up.
jake: i promise you iâll do anything it takes to earn your trust back. anything. iâll show you that giving us another chance will be worth it, that giving me another chance is worth it.
âeverything is exactly the same as before, so there shouldnât be any trouble,â mrs. song said as she led you back towards the front of the juice bar. you nodded in response as you followed her. âcan you start later this week? say⊠wednesday?â she added in question.
âyes!â you nodded again politely. âwednesday is good! ohâcan i ask you a quick question?â
âshoot,â mrs. song replied while waving off some kid trying to climb over the counter for more of the candy that sat in a bowl.
âlast summer, a girl named hana worked here with me⊠does she still work here?â you asked as you looked to the floor with furrowed brows. pain stabbed through your heart and your mouth felt like it was full of sand just from saying her name. you hated the feelings her name evoked in you.
to think that you had an actual friend here in her⊠when all she wanted was to use you for her own gain. you knew it would be a ridiculous hope with how small the town was, but you still hoped you never saw her face again. never heard her name again. never felt these feelings that she caused. if you ever saw her again it would be too soon.
âoh, hana?â mrs. song questioned while focusing her attention back on you. âfired her not long after you left. horrible employeeâi donât know why i didnât fire her sooner. or hired her in the first place.â
you let out a small sigh of relief that mrs. song seemed to pick up on. there was no way you could spend another summer sharing the same space as hana. it was impossible.
âyou had problems with her too, yeah? hm,â mrs. song snorted.
after a bit more chatting and going over your future schedule you began to head out, trailing slowly along the shore. water lapped at your feet and your sandals swung limply from your fingers as you stared out at the calm waves. you think you could like it here after all.
ây/n!â you heard your voice being called.
breaking your attention from the sea, you turned in the direction of the voice. a smile grew onto your face. âjay!â you called back as he jogged up to you. ânice seeing you again!â
jay stood in front of you, holding a hand up to block the sun from getting in his eyes while he used his other hand to push his hair off of his forehead. you guided him away from the shore and towards one of the empty tables on the boardwalk. âwas just getting ready to start my shift!â he replied.
you then noticed the outfit he was wearingâred shorts and a white tank top that read âGUARDâ in bold red capital letters. a red lanyard with a whistle attached hung around his neck and he had a red visor tucked under his arm.
the two of you sat at the empty table and jay placed his visor onto it. he leaned forward slightly, a big smile on his face, âbut i still have time to chat.â
and just like that it felt as if you were back at that campfire talking about anything and everythingâlike you and jay had been friends for forever now and it hasnât been a year since youâve last seen each other. the two of you just fell into such a natural sync.
you were even opening up to him about everything that happened last summer. mainly because you really couldnât talk to anyone about it but him. he already understood all of the context and it was just so easy to talk to jay. you hadnât realized how much you just needed a friend. and jay listened to it all attentively, not missing a single beat and inquiring about things you havenât even realized.
âbut enough about my pastâŠâ you murmured sheepishly, turning to the side to try and hide how warmth spread across your face. you just spend ten minutes talking about yourself and your problems without regarding the fact that it was probably coming off as extremely rude. âso how has the past year been for you?â you asked him.
you then gave him a cheeky smile. âany girls youâve been seeing? interested in? tell me!â
jay laughed and shook his head a little. âno, i havenât been seeing anyone. pretty much everyone here iâve known for forever now⊠not the best candidates.â he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms as he looked at you through his lashes. the corners of his mouth rose and he looked off to the side. âthere has been this one girl, though⊠sheâs definitely caught my interest.â
you gasped and leaned forward with your hands flat on the table. âwhat?! why didnât you say anything sooner? iâve been over here talking about my pathetic love life when we could've been talking about how good yours is going! have you talked to her yet? whatâs her name?â the words flew out your mouth a mile a minute.
jay held his hands up as he chuckled, âwoah, woah, slow down. iâve talked to her a couple times nowâbut only briefly! i think sheâs new in town, probably been here just a little bit longer than you have, actually.â
you grinned, âiâm excited for you! you gotta let me know how it all plays out. and donât think i didnât realize how you didnât tell me her name!â jayâs face quickly turned red.
he stood from his chair, âah, well, itâs all very new⊠haha, oh look at the time! my shift is about to start! bye, y/n!â he turned quickly as his words blurted out, throwing his words over his shoulder.
you rolled your eyes and stood to your feet. âwhatever, iâll get it out of you soon enoughâŠâ
jay pulled you into a hug as he nervously chuckled. âi seriously doubt it!â he mumbled under his breath before he jogged off.
âi will get her name out of you!â you called as you shook your head at him and watched his retreating figure, smiling softly.
you turned and continued walking aimlessly through the sand, feet sinking into the grains and leaving footprints. you watched as kids laughed and played with each other, darting around you and muttering passing apologies.
you were focused on the kid that almost ran into you running after their friends, not focused at all on the way jake crept up on you. âboo!â he shouted by your ear. you nearly jumped out of your skin, a loud yell erupting from your mouth. once you realized that it was just him, you hit him in his chest hard.
âjake?! are you serious!â you scolded, heat rushing to your face in embarrassment. you covered your face and he pulled you into him as he laughed hysterically. you buried your face in his chest briefly before turning out of his grasp and quickly walking away from the scene, trying to ignore the pairs of eyes that were on you.
jake trailed behind you and you heard him laugh more. âiâm sorry, iâm sorry! but that was so funny!â he said as he caught up to you. âyou shouldâve seen your face.â
he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him. âwhat are you doing here?â jake asked as he glanced down at you.
âgetting my old job back, what are you doing here?â you asked in response, âbesides scaring me half to death?â
his smile grew, âcame down here bored, until i saw you.â his eyes lit up suddenly. âoh! we should make another bucket list for this summer! since⊠since we didnât get to finish the one from last summerâŠâ he trailed off, eyes looking to the side briefly in regret.
you smiled at him, trying to diffuse the sudden awkward tension. âwe should!â
jake guided you near the shore and the two of you sat in the sand. the two of you debated what to do this summer for a while, only managing to come up with a couple of things. one of which was going to this yearâs summer splash event since you left last year before it happened.
âyouâll still be my date, right?â jake asked shyly. you chucked and nodded. âif youâll still have me!â
jake gave you that same fond stare that he gave you before you left his house and it made butterflies erupt in your stomach. âof course i do,â he said.
it was such a simple sentence filled with so much. your brows knitted together ever so slightly and you watched the way his eyes darted towards your lips. it then seemingly felt like it was only the two of you on the beach, and you swear that the two of you slowly moved closer to each other.
the sudden shrill of a childâs cry broke the two of you out of your trance and you both snapped towards where a kid was crying over the way the sea messed up his sandcastle. you turned towards jake again and gave him a sheepish smile.
âuhâhow about swimming! um, you teach me how to swim⊠since i canâtâŠâ you sputtered awkwardly, hands waving in the air at the ocean. jake chuckled at the way you suddenly reverted back to your timid nature around him and nodded.
âyeah⊠i can teach you how to swim!â
you nodded after him. jake began to stand to his feet and you looked at him confused. âi can teach you now, in fact. do you have your bathing suit?â
you rose to your feet as well and nodded. you pulled the tank top strap off your shoulder and looked down to double check, nodding again when you saw the white fabric of your bikini.
jake tucked his finger underneath the thin strap that tied the bikini top around your neck. he pulled at it lightly before letting go and then smirked at you. âgood,â he said simply.
your cheeks were already flushed with heat, but the heat just got hotter when you realized why he was smirking. it was the bathing suit you wore to the beach party.
playfullyâand in an attempt to mask your warm faceâyou rolled your eyes and looked away from him. âget your mind out of the gutter,â you mumbled.
jake laughed, âall i said was âgood!ââ
âanyway,â you said, âwe should add our names to that skate park! i feel like that would help me really cement my being here permanently.â
laughing harder, jake replied, âisnât that vandalism? are you even good at graffiti?â he suddenly stopped laughing, expression serious. âwaitâpermanently? youâre here permanently?!â
still on the subject of the skate park, you shrugged. âitâs abandoned anyways, isnât it? and how hard is it to use a spray can to write our names? itâs not like weâre tagging it, tagging it.â
jake grabbed your shoulders and your focus zeroed in on him. his eyes were wide as he looked into yours. âyouâre here permanently?!â he repeated. you nodded, confusion shifting into realization at the fact that you havenât told him yet. âyes, permanently. my mom and i moved here the day we met at our spot,â you said.
jakeâs hands moved from your shoulders to cup your face. he then kissed you passionately, absolutely taking your breath away. you giggled when he pulled away and he started kissing you all over your face. âjake!â you giggled more, pushing him away from you slightly.
âiâm sorry,â he said a bit breathlessly, âyou just donât know how relieved i am to hear that.â he chuckled awkwardly as he gave you some space and tucked some of his hair behind his ear. âso, skate park? got it, anything you want to do! we have all the time in the world.â
you mind immediately snapped back to the skate park. âi feel like thatâs not as adventurous as our last bucket list though!â you pouted.
jake pulled you towards where there were some free towels at the boardwalk. he turned back and cheekily smiled at you, âi can think of something adventurous.â you stopped in your tracks and swatted his shoulder. âiâm just saying!â jake laughed. âweâve done a lot, but thereâs still some things we havenât done yet⊠you catch me?â
heat crept up the back of your neck and you crossed your arms across your chest. jakeâs eyes darted down to the action. indulging him, you asked, âlike what?â
jake stepped closer to you and reached up to mess with the straps of your bikini. he leaned more into you and dropped his voice so only you would hear what he was saying. âdifferent places, different positions⊠thereâs so many things i could do to you that you havenât experienced yet.â your eyes connected with his.
âor you could do to me,â he added, lower.
you looked away, face on fire. jake dropped his hands from the straps he was fiddling with to his sides. he took another step closer to you until you both were almost chest to chest and grazed his hand along the side of your waist. jake leaned down until his lips were at the shell of your ear. âif you want,â he whispered.
he pulled away, smiling at you like he didnât just insinuate what he did and cause arousal to pool in your bikini bottoms. he grabbed your wrist lightly and pulled you the rest of the way to the towels, handing you a rolled up one from the basket and taking one from himself.
you were still in shock, eyes wide as you stared at him. you then snapped out of it when you realized he was chuckling. tucking the towel underneath your arm, you used the basket of towels to lean forward towards him. discreetly, you slid your hand down his stomach and stopped right above the hem of his shorts. âsounds fun,â you smiled innocently. âi know exactly what i could do.â
you hand trailed lower before you backed away from him. you held in your laugh at just how quickly the bulge in his shorts was rising and his ears turned red. you looked towards the sea, âso where do you wanna start?â you asked casually. âiâm gonna have to strip these clothes off first.â
you turned back to him and smiled again, that same innocent smile.
the corner of jakeâs mouth rose in a âtwo can play at this gameâ way. he opened his mouth to speak, but got cut off by someone suddenly entering your conversation. âlook at what the cat dragged back in,â the voice said, mean and full of bitterness.
you almost instantly recognized that voice, and it seems that jake did too since his face instantly twisted into one of annoyance and hatred. he moved closer to you while also hiding his boner with the basket of towels.
hana walked up to the two of you with a sneer and a dripping popsicle in one hand. two girls you never seen before trailed behind her with a matching sneer. you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms against your chest, leaning your weight towards jake. âthought the two of you went up in flames last summer?â hana added.
she focused her attention on you, âdonât tell me youâre still falling for his âi love youâsâ⊠how lame.â
jake scoffed, before either of you could say anything you noticed jungwon come up to you all. he pushed past the two random girls and shoulder-checked hana as he came to your side. âlook what desperation dragged in. i know the saying is âmisery loves companyâ but this is just getting pathetic, hana. donât you have a job to be at?â hana scoffed and opened her mouth, but jungwon beat her to it.
âoh yeah, you donât. because you got fired. i think itâs time you go find one, donât you think?â
hana rolled her eyes. âwhatever,â she said, trying to pretend like she wasnât bothered. she stuck the popsicle in her mouth briefly as she turned towards the girls. âdidnât want to stick around you losers anyways.â
she looked over her shoulder at you, âcareful, y/n. you know jakeâs still in love with me.â she then winked at him and jakeâs face twisted further into disgust.
âyou fucking wish. i was never even infatuated with you in the first place. you already know that sunghoon is the reason why i even stayed with you for those four months,â jake spit out, angrier than youâve ever seen him. âstop making my life fucking hell and just move on already. i know i already have.â
you saw the way hanaâs face fell and how she quickly masked it with a sickly sweet smile. âkeep telling yourself that, jakey,â she said before walking away.
you loudly scoffed at her retreating body and the way she purposefully swayed her hips back and forth as you turned towards jake and jungwon. âthe audacity she has is honestly astounding,â jungwon said, face mirroring yours.
âdelusional,â you added, âthe lot of them.â
âforget her,â jake said as he pulled you and jungwonâs attention back to him. he then smiled, âletâs go swimming!â
âhow hard is it to put one arm in front of the other?!â jungwon demonstrated how to use your arms to swim once again as a laugh was pulled from him. he swam out farther into the sea and then swam back, standing where you and jake were. âsee? easy.â
âiâm doing the best that i can!â you exclaim, throwing your hands up in the air in mild frustration as the remnants of a wave hit against your stomach.
jake then chimed in, âitâs actually not that easy!â jungwon turned to him in confusion and jake swam out a little from where the two of you stood. âthereâs actually a certain way you want to move your arms in order to not hurt your shoulders.â
you turned to jungwon with a triumphant smirk. âsee!â you said while crossing your arms. jungwon rolled his eyes.
jake continued demonstrating, specifically pointing out how to move your body to not hurt your shoulders. he also showed how to gain more speed and stay under the water for longer with breathing techniques. âhere, letâs do it together,â he said, swimming towards you.
he made sure your positioning was correct and guided you slowly towards the deeper part of where you all stood. âlike this! if youâre feeling any type of pain in your shoulders than youâre doing it wrong.â
after a couple minutes of adjusting and positioning, you really thought you were getting the hang of it. when jake was guiding you there wasnât any pain in your shoulders at all, but as soon as you started to do it on your own you immediately felt the tightness in them. your face scrunched up as you instantly reverted back to doggy paddling, causing jake and jungwon to laugh.
with full shame, you doggy paddled back to where they stood. âyou know⊠i donât think swimming is for me, actually.â
âi tried teaching her last year,â jungwon started, amusement tinging his voice, âshe literally almost drowned. itâs hopelessâŠâ you glared at him and then rolled your eyes. youâd like to think that if it werenât for the large waves that day that you wouldâve been fine.
jake laughed and you glared at him too, though without as much venom. âitâs a good thing i was there!â he looked at you with the biggest smile on his face and you rolled your eyes at him too. they both laughed again as you tried to think of the quickest way to discard bodies on a public beach.
âweâll try teaching you again another time,â jake continued. âyouâreâŠâ he trailed off trying to find the right word for what he was thinking. âhorrible,â jungwon concluded.
âstill a novice!â jake quickly corrected. you mumbled out a lame insult to the both of them and walked towards your towel on the beach.
they followed after you, still chuckling, as you wrapped the towel around your soaked body. âitâs not all your fault!â jungwon exclaimed. âyour hometown didnât have an ocean, or even a pool, really. donât blame yourself!â you scoffed at his cheap attempt to make you feel better and the both of you laughed. your hometown barely had a highschool with a pool. you were never taught to swim in school because all the seniors poured so much gasoline into the pool as a prank that your school had to close off the area and it just never reopened.
coincidentally, that was one of the times jungwon was staying with you and your mom. on a dare, he made you venture into the closed off pool room and you almost didnât make it out alive. yes, the two of you got in a huge amount of trouble by your parents. you made jungwon do all of your chores for the remaining two months he was there.
âwe should probably start heading home though,â said jungwon, âi accidentally broke momâs sculpture while helping auntie move in her stuff and mightâve insinuated that it was your faultâŠâ your eyes widened as you slowly turned to him. he scratched the back of his head guiltily.
âwhat?!â you nearly shouted.
âyeahâŠâ
you ran your hands down your face as you turned to jake. âiâll see you later,â you sighed, moving into his open arms for a hug. âor maybe i wonât after this,â you added suddenly.
âiâll see you later,â jake repeated as he laughed.
as you and jungwon walked offâmore like ran since you were currently trying to smother him in the sandâhe kept looking behind you and laughing to himself. you caught him the act again just as the two of you were about to leave the boardwalk. he looked behind the two of you, shook his head a little, and laughed. âwhat?â you asked him. he hummed in question at your response. âwhatâs so funny?â you continued, looking behind you as well. you couldnât tell what could possibly be making him laugh.
âoh, nothing.â jungwon looked behind him again. you nudged him with your elbow, trying to get him to confess.
jungwon laughed again. âjakeâs been staring at you this entire time with the fondest, most lovesick puppy look iâve ever seen. i donât think he moved from that spot or even blinked since we walked away.â
you whipped your head around and looked around until you saw him. indeed, jungwon was right. you smiled to yourself and gave him a little wave. the smile on jakeâs face grew as he waved back.
âgross,â jungwon commented as the two of you turned out of jakeâs sight.
jake had, once again, put himself in the position where he was forced to listen about sunghoonâs recent victimâs complaints about their relationship. ever since he met you, he questioned how he ever found any of this entertaining. listening to sunghoon go on and on about the girls he wronged just made him feel exhaustedâand guilty. jake couldnât even begin to imagine how the girls he fucked over mustâve felt. the only thing he could come close to was the image of your heartbroken face the day you left him a year ago.
he never wanted to see that face ever again.
âshe wanted me to fuck herâi fucked her. i told her not to expect a relationship out of all of thisânow sheâs crying about how i was dragging her along!â sunghoon ranted to jake as they made their way down to the boardwalk. sunghoon turned to him with an exasperated expression, âi donât know how more clear i can get!â
jake pulled the whistle from his shorts and put the lanyard around his neck. âhave you ever thought of being in a committed relationship with someone?â he asked sunghoon. jake adjusted his lifeguarding outfit as they got closer to the boardwalk.
sunghoon made a face. âdude, be serious. iâm young! iâll settle down with someone when iâm, like, thirty or whatever.â
rolling his eyes, jake laughed at sunghoonâs reluctance to commit to someone. âif you find anyone willing to be with you that you havenât fucked over by then.â the two of them laughed and stepped onto the boardwalk. it wasnât as busy of a day today, which jake was thankful for.
âalright, i gotta go. my shiftâs about to start,â jake said and turned to sunghoon. jake clasped sunghoonâs hand and gave him a quick pat on the back.
sunghoon nodded his head over to the lifeguard who was coming off dutyâjay. jake tried not to roll his eyes. âincoming, you know how he is,â sunghoon said. âsee ya, man.â
they went on their separate paths and jake walked to where jay was so they could switch. jay looked over from where he was grabbing his towel off the elevated chair ladder. jay gave a tight smile to jake, which already made jakeâs blood boil. the only thing he could think about when he looked at him was how close the two of you seemed that night at the beach party.
as jay cleared his things for jake, he tried to make small talk to make the tension less awkward and heavy. âhave you heard y/n is in back in town? for good?â jay asked. why was he asking him about you?
jake tried to not let his fist meet jayâs face again.
he tried not to be possessive over you, especially since the two of you werenât even together again yet. and he wasnât one to try and keep you from your friends, but jay was a whole different story. jake tried to not let the jealousy seep into his voice, âyeah, duh. iâm the first one she saw.â
âhm,â jay hummed as he threw his bag over his shoulder.
what was that supposed to mean? jake side eyed him. he was the first one you saw when you landed, right? jake would absolutely recoil into himself if he wasnât. surely it wasnât jay who you saw first, right? jake ignored him and started to set his own stuff down.
âbetter hope you donât fuck everything up again, never know who might swoop in and take your place.â there was the jay that jake knew. the asshole under this whole ânice guyâ act he had been playing.
jake turned fully to him. âwho? you?â
jake almost laughed in his face. jay couldnât be serious, but he promised you he would try his hardest to not let there be any drama this summer. even if his fingers itched to wipe that slight smug smirk off jayâs face.
jay just shrugged. âcould be, who knows? sheâs very likable and very beautiful. everywhere she goes she attracts the stare of some guy. and i would say that you know girls donât like to be treated like garbage, but with your track record that clearly isnât obvious to you. you already almost lost her for good once.â
jakeâs anger boiled over completely and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second to try and calm himself. it did nothing. jake wryly laughed and stepped up to jay. âso you think you can take her from me? you?â jake laughed again. âiâd like to see you try. incase it wasnât obviousâsheâs in love with me, not you. donât you hate being a pale imitation?â
jake wanted to bring up every way that he had bested jayâdown to the smallest thing, such as being able to tie his shoes before him. he would always be the better man. and even if jake wasnât in some aspect, he would make damn sure that at the end of the day he was. jay had nothing on him, you had to see that.
it angered jake that jay was even talking about you this way. in a way that suggested he could get close enough to you for the two of you to be together instead of you and him. ridiculous, it all was. the only thing jay would be is a lesser version of him, constantly chasing after anything he had that he could never have. jake shouldâve put him in his place when he had the chance three years ago.
jayâs smug smirk grew. âi donât have to do anything. all it takes is her finding out the truth about the piece of shit that you really are and the game you like to play. and whatâs inept infatuation to true bonding?â jay patted jake on the shoulder and jake harshly glared at him and pulled his shoulder away. âbest of luck,â jay said in a low voice before walking away.
as jake climbed up to his post, the heat of the sun was nothing to the scalding anger inside him. he knew one thing for sureâluck would not be on jayâs side if he had anything to do with it.
you and jake were meant to be together, and jayâs hollow words werenât going to change that.
jay: hey, are you free? jay: cashing in that rain check to hang out.
you were on your way home, but it couldnât hurt to hang out with jay. the two of you needed to spend more than twenty minutes together anyway and catch up more.
besides, the picture of him, jake, and sunghoon suddenly crossed your mind, reminding you that you had forgotten to ask jake about it. maybe jay would give you some insight on why the two of them had bad blood between each other when they were once âswimming buds for life!â
you: haha of course! jay: awesome, meet me at the boardwalk? jay: we can hang out at my place. you: iâll see you there!
you turned around and walked back down the boardwalk, picking an empty table to wait at in a relatively clear area. the polaroid wouldnât leave your mind as you speculated what couldâve possibly split them apart.
was it just a mere difference of opinion? or was it the two of them simply growing up and going their separate ways? your mind then replayed their interaction at the beach party last year, how angry they were at just seeing each other. it had to be something deeper than that. perhaps some sort of betrayal?
if that was the case, then who betrayed who? and why?
or maybe the reason was because of this gameâthe playerâs game, as jay mentioned. the one that you have already been a victim of. his words crossed your mind, âthereâs no winner in the playerâs game. itâs best to know that before itâs too late.â
he had to be a victim of the game too, if he was saying that to you. were jake and sunghoon possibly a factor in it?
before you could speculate any further, jayâs voice shocked you out of your thoughts. âhey,â he smiled, grabbing your attention. you smiled back at him as you stood. âhey!â
as the two of you walked to jayâs house, he mustâve saw that your mind was elsewhere. jay nudged into you slightly as you walked side by side. âyouâre quiet today, whatâs on your mind?â he asked.Â
you racked your mind for a way to bring up his and jakeâs past friendship subtly, so as to not barge too into their private matters without permission. you decided to try and pose it a different way. âoh, sorry! i just got off work so iâm kind of everywhere right nowâŠâ you trailed off, before purposefully perking up as if you just thought of something. âhey, how do you and jake know each other?â
you then internally panicked, thinking that that was maybe too forward, and added, âiâve been spilling my whole love story with him, and at the beach party the two of you seemed familiarâŠâ
jayâs eyebrows knitted together as he thought over your question. you hoped that you didnât hit a sensitive subject as you subtly wiped your sweaty palms onto the back of your jean shorts. âwe use to be friendsâbest friends,â jay started, âand on the swim team together back in highschool. him and his friends were just really shitty, so i decided to distance myself from them for my own good.â
you nodded along at his words, trying to place them in the puzzle board in your mind. jayâs answer was vague, but at least it was somethingâa start. youâd just have to get your answers out of him and jake whenever plausible.Â
a house that you assumed was his came up into view as the two of you continued walking. âso how did you get involved with jake? i know i kind of already asked you this before, but iâm still curious.â jay guided you towards the house as he spoke.
you told him about you and jungwon swimming in the ocean and how jungwon left to go get something to eat. about how you then mistakenly went further out despite not knowing to swim and how the waves kept beating you down. then finally about how jake had come and saved you.
jay gave you an incredulous look as he held open the gate to his backyard for you. you nodded in confirmation and his shock only grew. âiâm gonna have to teach you how to swim, then!â he exclaimed.
you looked around his backyard. he had a large in-ground pool with a nice patio set up filled with lounge chairs, tables, and an outside bar. jayâs backyard was absolutely beautiful.Â
âapparently iâm a bad student, but itâs a deal!â you joked and jay laughed, leading you to where the lounge chairs were by the pool.
âshow me what you got! you canât be that bad at swimming.â jay then suddenly stripped off his shirt, leaving him in swim trunks. your eyes widened and surveyed the upper half of his body. jay slunk into the pool, going underwater for a few seconds, and surfaced. he slicked back his now wet hair and looked up at you expectantly. âwell?â he chuckled.
you laughed, half of it full of shock and the other half full of nervousness, and stood from the chair. you began taking off your tank top and shorts as jay swam away from where you stood. once you were done, you dipped a toe into the water, face scrunching up at the coldness, and slid in completely. you shivered slightly as you slowly walked to where jay stood in the center of the shallow end of the pool.
jay motioned for you to swim a little and you ducked down until your chin touched the water. âjake taught me for a little bit last week, but it didnât really stick,â you said as you swam around a little and showed off what you learned from him. you felt jayâs eyes on you as you swam and it made you nervous about your swimming form.
âwell iâm a much better teacher than jake.â
you didnât know how to respond to that, and you didnât get the chance since jay swam up to you. jayâs fingers trail over your arms, positioning them as he told you how to move them effectively. he then had you swim around his pool more to see what else you needed to work on.
jayâs eyebrows were raised and he looked like he was holding back a laugh. âi told you i was bad!â you exclaimed, sulking down into the water as you swam to him.
ânot bad, justâŠâ jay trailed off and you quirked an eyebrow teasingly at him, âjustâŠâ jay laughed, not able to finish his sentence and you pushed him.
âsee!â you laughed.
âitâs okay, we can fix it.â jay then came closer to you, instructing you to hold out your arms. he came up behind you, his chest almost pressing against your back as his hands slid down your arms. he began to move them in a swimming motion.
âthis is the motion you want your arms to doâstraighten your fingers more, you donât want a cupping motion,â jay spoke. his hands moved to your shoulders as you continued moving your arms, moving them backwards and forwards and then down to your waist to do the same.
you heart rate picked up from just how close he was to you, his hands all over you, and his voice next to your ear. your breath hitched lowly as his hands moved to your hips. of course you noticed just how handsome jay wasâyou noticed when you first surfaced from the water and he scared youâbut seeing it all up close was something different. being this close to him made you feel nervous, and it felt a little wrong, too.
you knew that you and jake werenât together, but being this close to someone else after being so close to him felt a little dirty. like you were cheating on him in some way even though you knew that wasnât true. it alsoâdeep down inside youâexcited you, being this close to another guy.
jay moved around your body until he was to the side of you. his eyes moved from his hands that left your hips and up your body and the way that it moved until his eyes locked on yours. a satisfied smile crossed his features. âjust like that, you got it,â jay praised. you inhaled sharply at the way his praise went straight down to the pit of your stomach.
you hoped that your bodyâs reaction to him came off as nervousness. following his guidance, you gave a small leap as you swam around in a circle in the shallow end of his pool. you did another lap before swimming back to jay. he clapped a couple times as you reached him, a proud smile on his face. âi told you i was a good teacher!â
he grabbed your bare waist as you stilled and your eyes widened a fraction more than they already were. ânext time, though, make sure you use your hips more. it makes the whole movement more smooth.â
the feelings inside you made you feel extremely guilty. jay was simply just trying to teach you how to swim, yet your mind was on anything but that. even now, with his hands sliding down to your hips briefly as he finished speaking, he was so close to you that you were practically chest to chest.
dumbly, you looked at him and into his intense stare, breathing hard. you nodded at his previous sentence, though you werenât actually sure what he said to you. jay smiled, voice softer, âyou did so good! youâll be a pro in no time!â
all you could do was nod again.
there was then silence between the two of you, and this time you were sure that jay could feel the tension. the two of you held each otherâs stare, unbreaking. suddenly, jayâs gaze flicked down to your lips and then back up to your eyes. you inhaled deeply as the look in his eyes shifted.
your phone then went off, the sound of a received text message seemingly louder than it ever was before. you and jay jumped apart, the tension in the air turning awkward as jay shifted away from you slightly. âuh, iâll go get us something to drinkâŠâ he trailed off.
âohâum, yeahâŠâ you muttered awkwardly.
you both got out of the pool and you used the towel hanging off the back of the lounge chair to dry off before checking the message you received.
jake: hey, where are you? are you off work yet? you: yeah! iâve been hanging out with jay. why?
the guilt ate away at you even more. you knew it was ridiculousâyou didnât do anything wrong, the two of you just swam around together. but everything just felt weird and off now, like it was a secret you now had to hide from jake. his next message didnât make you feel any better either.
jake: hanging out with jay?! why are you with him? you: heâs my friend? and i havenât really seen him since i got here⊠you: is that a problem?
jake didnât immediately answer and it made you speculate about the friendship he and jay once had. your phone didnât ping with his text message until right as jay was coming through the sliding glass doors with two cups in his hands. âi got us some lemonade, i hope thatâs okay!â jay said, handing you one of the cups.
jake: no, not a problem at all.
instead of swimming more, you and jay decided to chill outside of the pool and soak in some of the summer sun and talk. the more you talked, the more the awkward tension that was between the two of you slowly dissipated and talking to jay again was easy.
the weird feeling inside of you didnât disappear, though. as you talked, your eyes couldnât help but be attached to jay. the way the sun beamed off his drying skin and how he kept pushing the long, damp strands of his hair out of his face. the way his whole face lit up when you said something funny and a smile broke out into a laugh. it made your heart race.
suddenly, it finally clicked in your brain. you were attracted to him.
guilt poured into you even more and you started to shyly avoid his gaze. if jay noticed the sudden shift in youâwhich you hoped he didnâtâhe didnât mention it. you made sure you eyes were focused on anything but him as you talked.
you tried categorizing jay in your mind as strictly a friend, but even then it felt like he didnât fit into the box. like he belonged somewhere between âfriendâ and âpotential romantic interestâ and that alarmed you even more. so you did the only thing you could think of at the moment to metaphorically shove him back into the âfriendâ box.
âyou know, youâre like my bestfriend, right?â you laughed, making sure to make eye contact with him.
jayâs smile grew. âiâm your bestfriend?â he teased, leaned forward on the lounge chair towards you. âwrite it in stone. get the friendship bracelets out!â a small sigh of relief escaped you and you laughed, glad that he didnât give you a weird look or anything.
jay stood from his chair, a hand at his chest, âi feel like i have to say a speech now or something.â
you immediately waved your hands in the air in front of you. âno!â you dragged the vowel out, âthat is not necessary!â jay laughed harder.
you checked the time on you phone and sighed. âi should probably head home now⊠my momâs probably wondering where i got off to after workâŠâ you stood to your feet, smile faltering on your face.
âno issue! ill walk you,â jay said.
you gave him another shy smile. it was probably best that you didnât spend more time with jay at this moment until you sorted yourself out. you didnât know whether it was that your emotions were still everywhere from the move and you havenât quite settled in yet, or what, but you had to get it together and fast.Â
âohâdonât worry about it!â you quickly said, âi have to stop down by the boardwalk and pick up something for my mom.â it was a lie, but jay was standing so close to you that it was all you had.
âokay!â jay replied. he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug, shaking you a bit. âweâll hang out some more sometime later, bestfriend.â
you laughed, hugging him back and ignoring your racing heart. you looked to the sky at the way the sun passed through the leaves of the trees. it was a little past noon and you were ready to get out of your bathing suit.
jay walked you to his backyard gate and opened it for you, following you out. âsee ya!â you waved at him. he repeated your words, waving goodbye.
just as you turned away from him, a rundown van that honestly looked on its last life pulled up to the walkway. behind you, jay scoffed and you looked at the oncomer curiously as you kept walking. you heard jayâs footsteps behind you walk towards the van.
as you turned towards the path to the boardwalk, you heard jay say, âheeseung, when are you gonna get rid of that beat up fucking van? shit is falling apart.â who you could only assume was heeseung replied, âdonât talk about betsy like that!â
you laughed to yourself as you continued on your way away from jayâs house.Â
as you were walking, completely in your own world, you felt an arm wrap around your waist. you nearly jumped out of your skin as you turned and screeched. jake immediately held his hands up, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.
âiâm sorry, iâm sorry! i didnât mean to scare you!â
you let out the biggest sigh of relief before hitting him on the chest. âasshole! this is, like, the second time youâve scared me nearly to death!â
jake laughed before wrapping his arms back around your waist, pulling you into him. he pressed a kiss to your cheek and smiled down at you. âi tried calling your name, but you werenât listening! whatâs on your mind?â
you shook your head slightly and shrugged a little. you were just glad to be in his arms again. ânothing,â you replied, âjust a little spaced out, i guess.â
jake hummed and the two of you continued walking together. you noticed how jake had subtly guided you away from the path to the boardwalk and onto one you remembered from when you first landed hereâhis house.
this was your chance. with jay only giving you a vague answer about their history, maybe jake would give you more insight. you looked at him, âhey, jake?â
jake hummed again, brows slightly drawn together as he smiled at you. it was time to bite the bullet. âyou and jay use to be bestfriends, right? what happened between the two of you?â you asked. jakeâs smile fell and he looked down to the ground before looking forward. there was almost what seemed to be a flash of anger that crossed his features at the mention of jayâs name.
âuhâŠâ jake trailed, tucking a stray strand of his hair that wasnât already tied up behind his ear. âi was a really shitty person back then. i hurt a lot of peopleâdid a lot of things that i now regret.â
that was basically a regurgitated version of what jay had already told you, it wasnât enough. you needed to know more. âyeah, i know that already. but what did you do to him that you guys arenât friends anymore?â you said, trying to make yourself more clear.
âwhy do you want to know so bad?â jake asked, slight annoyance in his tone as he looked back to you. âdid jay say something to you?â his arm around your waist tightened.
jake had never gotten annoyed at you, so you felt the need to defend yourself. âno, but i saw that picture on your wall with you, him, and sunghoon. âswimming buds for life!ââ you sarcastically mocked as you did air quotes. âand you freaked out when you heard that i was hanging out with him. should jay have said something?â
the annoyance in jakeâs features only grew and he rolled his eyes at the mention of jayâs name. you didnât understand why he was acting this way over a simple question. you told him you wanted no drama, and you thought he understood that. so why wonât he tell you what happened between him and jay? you thought that he would start being more transparent with you after last summer.
you didnât realize that you were already at his house until he pushed the door open and took your hand in his to drag you up the stairs to his bedroom. âitâs not important,â jake said, pushing his bedroom door open. you followed him through, shutting the door behind you to muffle the noise. âbut it is!â you insisted, voice raising as you stopped in your tracks.
jake turned around so he faced you, running his hands through the hair that escaped his ponytail that he sported before running them down his face in frustration. âheâs my friend and youâreââ you cut yourself off, sighing deeply and sitting on the edge of his bed. âwhy canât you just give me a straight answer? what is it? what is it about me and him being friendly that has you acting like this?â
you looked at the way jake started to pace in front of you with a worried expression. was what happened between the two of them so bad that it couldnât even be uttered? surely not, right?
âiâi just canât fucking stand him! and i can't stand you with him,â jake began to ramble, face twisted into an expression you couldnât quite read. âyou not with me. i canât stand how he spun all of this to seem like he is the innocent one in all of thisâlike he wasnât part of the game too! like he wasnât a shitty person too!â
jake continued, voice raising, but never reaching a yell, âand i can't standâcouldnât possibly fathom losing you again because of him.â jake came to stand before you, desperately looking at you.
you shook your head in confusion. âwhat are you talking aboutâlosing me? how would you lose me?â
jake slumped down next to you, leaning over to run his hands through his hair that had completely fallen out of his ponytail now. you glanced around his room, noting the pictures of the two of you hanging up on his walls that werenât there before. he had replaced some of the previous pictures with one of the two of you. just then, a lightbulb illuminated in your head. âjake⊠are you⊠jealous?â you asked him quietly, brows drawn together.
âyes!â he exasperatedly shouted, falling back onto his bed and rubbing his eyes.
you turned, âyou have nothing to be jealous about? jay and i are just friends!â
jake shook his head, eyes still covered. âyouâre gonna find out how absolutely shitty i was in the past and how heâs so perfect and want nothing to do with me.â jake uncovered his eyes and looked at you sullenly. âi donât know what i would do with myself if you wanted nothing to do with me.â
you laid down next to him so you were face to face and grabbed his hand. absentmindedly, jake rubbed his thumb on the back of your hand. you looked at jake and his kicked puppy expression, âyou donât have anything to worry about, jake. nothing.â
you looked at him firmly to make sure your words were really sinking in. you may have found jay attractive, but jake is the one who kept you up at night. who you canât stop thinking about no matter how hard you tryâwho you spent a whole year thinking about. the one who you graciously let hold your heart.
âthereâs no competition between you and jay,â you added in a low voice.
jake seemed to relax and the line between his brows smoothened. âa girl,â jake suddenly said. you gave him a confused look.
âhe was in love with this girl, but she liked me instead of him. when he found out things didnât go over so well⊠split the whole swim team in half with people choosing sides. it was a loss for both of us.â jake looked down at your intertwined hands, voice quiet.
âwell iâm not her,â you stated. âyou wonât lose me.âÂ
jake looked up at you and you scooted closer to him, lips mere centimeters apart. âyou wonât,â you repeated, pressing your lips to his. jakeâs hand raised to cup your cheek as his lips fell in sync with yours. the two of you stayed like that for a moment, the kiss growing more passionate and desperate as time went on.
you straddled him, lips still attached to his, and instantly jakeâs hands came to your hips. pulling away, you breathed, âlet me make you feel good this time.â
furrowing his brows, jake looked up at you with confusion. âyou always make me feel good,â you started, crawling backwards until your hands reached the band of his loose shorts. âlet me return the favor.â
you crawled all the way off of his bed and sat on your knees between his legs, your hands resting neatly in your lap. jake sat up, eyes widening slightly as he stared hard down at you. you looked up at him with big, hesitant doe eyes.
âyou cannot look up at me like that, pretty.â a shy smile grew at his words and at the way you saw the tent in his shorts grow.
âwill you teach me how?â you asked him. youâve never given anyone a blowjob in your life, you barely even gave a handjob. nerves flooded you at the fact that you would possibly do something wrong and that would be the end of it. or that you didnât do it well enough and it was just disappointing.
you ran your hands up jakeâs thighs and played with the drawstring of his shorts. jake screwed his eyes shut and nodded a little, inhaling sharply before opening his eyes again. âare you sure?â he asked you, worry tinging his features. âyou donât have toâand i donât want to hurt you.â
âi want to,â you stated firmly, fingers hooking onto the band of his shorts now. you tugged lightly at it.
âalright,â jake breathed out. âdonât do anything you arenât ready for.â
you nodded impatiently, eagerly pulling down his shorts and boxers in response. jake lifted his hips so they slid off all of the way, his heavy cock springing free from its restraints. you took his cock in your hands and jake lightly put a hand on the back of your head to signal you to stop.
âgo slow, and donât try to take more than you can handle to try and please me,â he said seriously. âi donât want you hurting yourself.â
nodding again, you nervously looked at his cock in your hands. you werenât sure what to do first. wrap your mouth around him or stroke him first? your grip was feather-light and you looked back up at jake so he could tell you what to do.
he caressed the back of your head comfortingly, âyou donât have to be nervous, baby, itâs just me.â jake gave you a reassuring smile and you gave him a small nervous one back. âyou donât have to hold it so lightly either, donât be afraid to grab it.â
inhaling deeply, you tightened your grip until it was firm, but not too tight that you thought might hurt. jake moaned lightly, his eyes fluttering closed for a brief second. âi-is that good?â you asked worriedly.
jake nodded, inhaling hard. âyes, yes, just like that.â drips of precum slid down the flushed tip of his cock. ânow, just move your hands up and down while twisting back and forth a little.â
you did exactly as he said, moving you hands up and down his length while maintaining the grip you already had. your eyes were trained on jakeâs face and the way soft moans left his parted lips and his head tilted back more and more.
âgood, baby,â jake breathed out heavily. you felt the way his cock practically throbbed in your hands. âwhen you get to the top, grab harder.â
âharder?â you asked, slightly more worried. your grip was already firm and he wants you to tighten it? jake nodded more, brows knitted together as his eyes squeezed shut, âmhm.â his moans were louder now and his hand that was at your head moved to press down into his mattress with his other hand.
you kept stroking him, his precum making the motion a bit easier. when you got to the flushed tip of his cock, you squeezed down harder. a loud moan left jakeâs mouth as his hips bucked up into your hands. âah fuck,â he groaned under his breath.
you smiled. it was nice to see him twisted in pleasure instead of the other way around. it was especially nice to know that you were the cause of it. that you were making him feel this good. you wondered if this is how he felt when he made you feel this good. it made your skin heat up and arousal pool at your core the more you thought about it and the more he moaned and whimpered for you.
jake tried hard to keep his hips still, but it was as if he physically couldnât control himself. âcan i try my mouth now?â you asked timidly. breathing hard, jake nodded. he looked down at you with hooded, clouded eyes of lust.
you sat up on your knees a bit and leaned forward. you looked down at his reddened mushroom tip and started with some apprehensive kitten licks. above you, jake inhaled sharply. you looked up at him nervously and you saw something shift in his features. his pupils blew wide with lust and his fingers gripped his comforter to keep his hands at his sides.
âslow,â he intrustructed. it came out almost strangled.
hesitantly, you wrapped your mouth around the tip of his cock as if it were a lollipop, sucking your cheeks in a bit. another loud moan was ripped deep from within jake and he threw his head back completely. you pulled your mouth off of him, eyes widening, before preparing yourself to take more of his cock inside your mouth.
you wrapped your mouth around him again, going farther down his thick length before you suddenly gagged. jakeâs eyes flew down at you and his hand grabbed the hair at the back of your head to pull you off of him. âare you okay, baby?â he asked, frantic.
you nodded, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as you looked up at him with watery eyes. his cock in you free hand twitched. you swallowed thickly, âsorryâŠâ
he moved his hand at the back of your head to caress your cheek. âitâs okay, just take it easy. okay?â jake said softly. âokay,â you replied.
inhaling, you took him into your mouth again, this time taking jakeâs advice and going slow. you went down inch by inch, stopping before you got the feeling of having to gag again. you wrapped your hands around the rest of his length that you couldnât fit inside your mouth and applied the same pressure as before.Â
slowly, you bobbed your head up and down, sucking inwards so your cheeks hollowed. âbreatheââ jake spoke before getting cut off by his own moans and whimpers. ââŠthrough your nose.â
it mustâve been really difficult for jake, trying to control himself while talking you through what to do at the same time. even now, the more you sucked him off, the more you felt him struggling to still himself so he didnât potentially hurt you. a part of you wanted him to just let go.
you didnât even notice the fire in your lungs until he mentioned breathing. so you inhaled through your nose, the tension in your body immediately being relieved even though it took you a few tries to actually breath through your nose and suck at the same time. at the base of his cock, you moved your hands in the same up and down and twisting motion.
jake was practically panting now, knuckles white with the way he gripped his comforter. his moans and whimpers increased and his hips bucked up into your mouth lightly, signaling that he was real close to cumming. âshit,â jake cursed, half of it coming out in a whine.
his hand was at the back of your head again, using your hair to pull your mouth off of him. you kept moving your hands, this time bringing them up furtherâand squeezing at his tipâto accommodate the lack of your mouth.
you barely got to lean away before his cum was shooting out of him and all over your face and hands. drips of it landed on his thighs and jake fell back on his hands, a loud moan ripping through him as his head flew back. you kept stroking him, the remaining cum dripping down your hands, as you helped him through his high. jakeâs hips lazily thrusted up into your hands as he tried to catch his breathing.
once jake was finished, his cock softening in your hands, he sat up to look at you. you looked at him with hesitant doe eyes again and his eyes widened to saucers as he took in the scene in front of him. âwas it good?â you asked shyly, worry hanging on the edge of your words. you swear you felt his cock harden.
âperfect. it was perfect, pretty,â jake responded, gently grabbing your chin. you licked your lips and was surprised at the slight salty taste of his cum. jake smiled and chucked a bit, âif you could see yourself from my point of view right nowâŠâ
you smiled cheekily at him. âso take a picture and show me.â
that got him hard again.
jake raised an eyebrow at you, his smile turning into a smirk. he leaned down to his shorts pocket and fished out his phone, then he aimed the camera at you and you heard the click of a picture.
he still had his phone aimed at you. you giggled, âdo you want me to pose?â jake laughed and you joined him. âif you want,â he smiled.
you lifted his heavy, half hard cock in your hands and placed your tongue at the side of his tip while you stared into the camera. âcarefulâŠâ jake warned teasingly. âi donât think i could control myself again.â you smiled before wrapping your lips around him, giggling.
a moan slipped past jakeâs lips and you laughed, pulling away. he tossed his phone behind him and raised his brows at you. jake grabbed your arms and pulled you to your feet. âokay, little miss eager⊠letâs get you cleaned up. i donât think you want to go walking around with my cum all over your face.â
being back at you and jakeâs spot evoked emotions inside you that you werenât quite ready for. being at your spot and laying under the stars with him caused a whole bigger tidal wave. it made you think of every moment that the two of you had hereâgood and bad. jake was right, this really is the best place to see the stars.
the last time the two of you watched the stars together, you were tucked into jakeâs side, almost cheek to cheek. now the two of you were seperateâthe only connection being the brushing together of your arms. you didnât like how far away he felt, but you werenât quite sure how to bridge the gap further.
you felt jakeâs heavy stare on the side of your face and you looked over at him instead of the stars. you had spent the rest of the day together, roaming around the small town with your phones on record capturing every moment until the two of you ended up here. it felt like the day when you had stumbled into your shared spot and you and jakeâs relationship changed forever. you quirked an eyebrow at him as the two of you stared at each other for a moment. you could tell that something was weighing on his mind.
jake exhaled, âi know you wanna take things slow, so i wonât ask youâŠâ his eyes flickered to the stars before focusing on you again. you really appreciated how he was being open with his feelings with you, especially since he told you how difficult it was for him. âbut, just know youâre the only one for me. no games, no lies, nothing. i want only you. youâre the only one iâll ever want.â
you shifted so you were fully facing him, shocked at where this was coming from all of a sudden. you thought you curbed his earlier jealousyâmaybe it was something else? âis this because of what hana said a few weeks ago? cause i donât believe a single word out of her mouth. i know how you feel about me, i know that you arenât a player anymore.â
âyes and noâŠâ jake trailed. âi just want to make sure that you know. whenever you want to take things to the next level, iâll be there. i donât want you to think this is only about the sex for me, âcause it isnât.â
jake then suddenly panicked, waving his hand in between the two of you. âthough the sex is greatâamazing, even, and i really, really enjoy it! so donât thinkââ
you cut him off with a soft laugh, he is so cute when he is flustered. âi know, jake, i know.â
you sat up from the blanket you both are laying on. âturn around!â you tell jake. he smiled and turned towards the blanket while covering his eyes. âdonât look!â
taking a deep breath, you steadied yourself. you thought now was as good as a time to take things to the next level. in the sand you nervously wrote out âboyfriend? yes or noâ with check boxes next to âyesâ and âno.âÂ
you knew you prioritized taking things slowâwhich you definitely didnât doâand having jakeâs actions speak louder than his words, but you knew what you wanted. you knew the moment you landed here and ran as fast as you could to him. jake is the one that you wantâthe one that youâll always want, and his actions have already proven to you that he feels the exact way.
moving to the side a bit, you told him to open his eyes. you took your lip between your teeth as you watched him read your words in the sand. you let out a small sigh of relief when his whole face lit up and he checked the âyesâ box immediately. giggling, you climbed into his lap and smashed your lips onto his.
âoh! we should take a picture!â jake perked up. he pulled his phone from his pocket and aimed it towards the words in the sand. âphysical memories and all, right? well, not physical, but you know what i mean.â you laughed as he snapped the picture and one of the two of you for good measure.
as jake walks you home, the air between the two of you buzzesâalmost glows with the help of the streetlights. your hand is intertwined in his and the world feels like itâs back in order. itâs electrifyingâthe way you turn and stare up at him just before you step onto your porch. you open your mouth to speak, but jake already knows what the words will be.
just then, the porch light turns on and you quickly look back at it before looking back at him. with a sheepish smile you tell him goodnight. jakeâs heart canât help but swell as he smiles back and kisses you on your cheek. âgoodnight, baby,â he murmurs.
jake watches you walk to your porch and disappear into your houseânot letting go of his hand until the distance physically breaks the two of you apart. he begins to walk home, thoughts of you flooding his mind. jake is so fond of you that it almost hurts. heâs so in love with you that it actually does.
heâs looking through the pictures and videos you both took today, a giddy smile on his face as he starts to send them to you like you asked earlier. then a thought crosses his mind. is it his jealousy and slight possessiveness creeping in? maybe. but his fingers are already moving before he can stop them.
jake just hopes that jay still has the same number.
attaching the imagine of you asking him to be your boyfriend and the selfie of the two of you, jake presses send. he waits a second before typing the message, âoops, meant to send this to my girlfriend. my bad!â
jay: read, 10:57 P.M.
jake smirks as he slides his phone back in his pocket. he knew that he was rubbing it in jayâs face, but he honestly couldnât care less. how dare he try to come between the two of you? jake wouldnât be surprised if he only started talking to you so he could get one up on him. pitiful, really.
it didnât matter anymore, because now you were jakeâs girlfriendâand you were all that mattered to him.
âyou just canât help yourself, huh?â a voice said behind you.
you were in the middle of wrapping up your shiftâcleaning the counter and tidying up for the next personâs shift. turning, confusion written all over your face, you were then face to face with hana. anger coiled her features into a scowl and she looked almost⊠paranoid? mascara clumped below her lashes and she honestly looked a mess. your brows knitted together at her words. what was she on about now?
âjake is mine,â she said with fevered passion. you just rolled your eyes and continued tidying up, opting to ignore her. that didnât stop hana. she slammed her hands down on the counter, leaning forward. you raised an eyebrow at her. âfirst jake, now jayâyou just canât help going after my sloppy seconds, canât you?â hana continued, almost shouting. she was borderline hysterical and you genuinely started to get worried.
âwhat? what are you talking about, hana?â you asked, turning fully to her.
your response only seemed to piss hana off even more than she was. red-hot anger boiled behind her eyes and she was attracting the attention of people passing by, but she either didnât notice or didnât care. âdonât âwhatâ me. you know exactly what iâm fucking talking about! what do they even see in you?â
you honestly had no words. hana stormed off, giving you one last glare. you stood in place frozen, rag hanging limply from your fingers.
the vibration of your phone knocked you back to your senses and you quickly finished tidying up. you clocked out and on the way home you opened your phone to see what the vibration was.
jake: lunch at your house with your mom today is still on right? you: yup! jake: see you there, pretty.
you pushed open your front door, gaining your momâs attention. she mustâve walked through the door minutes prior since she was surrounded by grocery bags. you helped her bring them into the kitchen and unload them.
âso⊠you and that jake boy, huh?â your mother asked you innocently, putting stuff away into the fridge. you were next to her putting stuff into cabinets. âyeah,â you said sheepishly, âweâre back together now.â
she hummed, quiet for a moment. âi know last year the two of you had problems that hindered you from wanting to come back hereâproblems that i see have been resolved now. i can tell that he does really care about you, honey, so donât be afraid to jump feet first.â she looked at you from where she stood in front of the fridge, a spacey look in her eyes. you can tell she was thinking about your father.
âthanks, mom,â you smiled at her. she snapped out of her haze, smiling back at you.
âand thenââ you were cut off by a moan pushing itself out of your mouth, your back arching slightly off your bed. âand then she was just shouting like a maniac! the whole time iâm trying to figure out what sheâs on about while everyone around us is staring.â
another soft moan left your parted lips and your fingers grabbed tightly onto your blankets. your brows drew together as your mind started to get hazy. you were just about to lose tract of what you were saying before the image of hanaâs hysterical and angry face popped into your mind. âare you even listening to me?â you asked, flicking the blanket off of you.
jake looked up at you, lips attached to your core and fingers buried deep inside you. he hummed in question and it sent shockwaves throughout youâmaking your hips buck up into his mouth and your eyes flutter shut briefly. you pouted and jake pulled away from you, pulling his fingers out of youâthe wetness coating themâand resting his hand on your inner thigh so your legs stayed apart.
âbaby, i do not care about hana,â jake said. you scoffed and looked up at your ceiling, old glow in the dark stars sticking to it. jake chuckled and crawled up your body so you were face to face. âwho cares what she said! sheâs delusional and crazyâignore her.â
you sighed and jake laughed more. ânow, do you want me to continue or do you wanna rant more?â he asked you. you pouted more at him and he kissed your lips.
there was a knock at your door and you and jake panicked and he ended up falling off your bed and to the ground next to it with a loud thud. âone second!â you called as you pulled your panties back from the side and adjusted your skirt so it wasnât halfway up your stomach.
turning to jake, you put a finger to your lips, motioning for him to stay silent. you went to your door and opened it up just enough to show your body. âwhat was that?â your mom asked you.
you furrowed your brows, pretending like it wasnât jake falling on his ass, before acting like you realized what she was talking about. âoh, that thud? it was my suitcaseâi still havenât fully unpacked yetâŠâÂ
your mom tsked at you and handed you a dress. âfound one of my old dresses while cleaning out grandmaâs closet, i thought you might want it to wear to summer splash.â your eyes widened at you took it from her, a thankful smile forming on your face.
âitâs beautiful, mom,â you spoke as you examined it. she smiled before leaving you to unpack.
you laid the dress on the chair next to your closet before turning to jake. you held out a hand as you waited for your momâs footsteps to retreat completely before rushing to him and helping him to his feet. the two of you smiled sheepishly at each other.
âi think i should go,â jake said in a low voice. he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck. the tips of his ponytail tickled your cheek. jake pressed a kiss to your neck, making you shiver, before looking back at you. âwe can finish this later.â
heat rushed to your face and you nodded, fighting the urge to cover your face from him. jakeâs smile turned to a half-smirk. he started to walk towards your door but you pulled him back towards you by his hand, a wild look on your face. âyou canât just go out the front door!â you whisper-yelled.
jakeâs brows furrowed. âwhy not?â he whispered back.
you gave him an incredulous look. âjake, i snuck you in here,â you said before pointing to your window. âyou were supposed to leave after lunch⊠youâre gonna have to use the window.â jake looked at the window and then at you, unmoving.
pulling him to the window, you opened it and the warm summer nighttime air hit you. you turned to jake and motioned to the window. jake raised his brows. he then intertwined your hands and rested his forehead against yours for a moment before kissing you gently.
âiâm going to be coming through your window all of the time now, i hope you realize that,â jake said lowly. you laughed softly at him, âiâll leave it unlocked for you then.â
jake leaned on your open window, looking down at the grass below before turning to you. âyouâre still my date to the summer splash event, right?â you rolled your eyes playfully at him, âduh! of course i am!â
jake smiled and kissed your cheek before stepping over the ledge of the window. he started climbing down before he unceremoniously fell on his ass again. you gasped and shouted in a low, worried voice, âare you okay?!â
jake gave you a pained smile and a thumbs up before getting up and shaking himself off. you watched as the living room light turned on. you and jake froze for a second, his eyes darting up to yours, before he took offâwaving at you as he ran down the street.
you held in the urge to laugh as you quietly shut your window again, making sure to leave it unlocked. you were sure you were gonna hear about the âstrange noisesâ tomorrow. you pulled your phone out and texted jake.
you: very smooth. jake: i know, iâm such a pro!
jake attached a blurry picture of him smiling while running that finally got you to laugh.
[ CHANGEOVER â THE SUMMER SUN SETS EARLY ] đŒ and a cold wind sweeps up the sea.
jake laughedâthe vibrations traveling throughout your body as you laid on his chestâand scrolled to another video on his phone for the two of you to watch together. he had come through your window like he promised and the two of you had spent the night in the same bed. now the both of you were in the bare bones of your pajamasâyou in a thin tank top and panties and him just in his boxersâthe morning of the summer splash charity event.
after a couple more videos, jake shut his phone off and looked down at you on top of him. âas much as i enjoy you sitting on my cock, we should both probably get ready⊠today is gonna be a long day.â
you snuggled deeper into his bare chest. the simple feeling of being stuff so full already had your mind cloudy. âbut iâm so comfortable!â you mumbled, glancing up at him. jake smirked.
jakeâs hands trailed down to your waist, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. âhm, youâre so comfortable⊠how comfortable?â he asked, voice low. you sat up fully, a flirty smile crossing your features. you rested your hands on his chest.
âvery comfortable.â
âletâs see, then.â jakeâs smirk grew as his hands trailed down to your hips, head tilting to the side. his hands squeezed your hip slightly and you were practically already dripping.
you started rolling your hips, using your hands on his chest as leverage. both of your breathing started to get heavier. âlike this?â you asked innocently, lifting your hips a little and dropping them again as you rolled them. jakeâs eyes rolled back and his head fell back on your headboard.
âyes⊠exactly like that,â he breathed, voice almost hoarse.
the more you moved, the louder your moans grew and the cloudier your head got. at some point jake had to hold his hand over your mouth to muffle them. âshh, pretty,â he shushed in a husky voice. âiâm sure you donât want someone to come in here and see us.â
you shook your head as you kept riding him. âf-feels so good, i canât stop myself.â jakeâs response was to kiss you instead, muffling your shared moans with each otherâs mouths. he bit down softly on your lower lip and smirked at the way you moaned against his mouth.
the fabric between the two was seemingly too much for jake. before you could even chase his lips, your tank top was off and his lips were on your skin and his hands were exploring the new access to your body. you bit down hard on your bottom lip as his plump lips left love bites all over your skin.
a loud whimper left your mouth when jake adjusted your position so that he could easily fuck up into you. you buried your face in his neck to silence yourself, hoping that the loud sounds of skin slapping against skin didnât alert any of your family members.
âf-fuckââ jake swore, voice stuttering as he suddenly stilled inside you. warm cum spilled into you and filled you even more. you looked up from jakeâs neck through hooded eyes and watched the way his eyes fluttered closed.
jake exhaled heavily, his forehead resting against yours as his cum dripped out of you and down his hard cock. his lips sloppily connected with yours as his hips started fucking up into you again.
your brows harshly drew together as your moan was muffled by jakeâs mouth. your nails dug into his shoulders and your body started to shake as each wave of pleasure hit you one by one like a tsunami.
âfeels good, baby?â jake whispered near your ear, voice husky. you could barely answer him because if you did you would end up shrieking. all you could do was nod weakly as high-pitched whimpers and whines escaped past your lips.
jake swore again when you tightly clenched down onto him, body shaking like a leaf and nails so deep in his shoulders that you werenât surprised if you drew blood. suddenly the floodgates opened and you were cumming harder than you ever did before as your body fully collapsed on top of jake.
stars swirled in your eyes as jake helped you through your orgasm, kissing your cheek and shoulder comfortingly as he rubbed circles onto your back. both of you were covered in a sheen of sweat and breathing heavily, the point where the two of you connected sticky with your mixed cum.
once your head wasnât on cloud nine anymore, you shakily sat up. you gave jake a hazy smile and giggled. jake pulled you closer to him, chuckling, before he kissed you softly. âwe might be in trouble,â he said in a low voice, accent heavy. you giggled again, ignoring the way your pussy throbbed from his voice alone.
you pulled away from him, almost fully naked body on full display for him. you both were definitely gonna have to throw away your respective panties and boxers after this. jake looked down at the mess you both created before caressing your waist with his thumb. there was that fondness in his eyes again. âyouâre so pretty like thisâŠâ he trailed and you hid your face with your hands, heat rushing to your face as you shyly smiled.
jake pulled away your hands. âmy pretty girl,â he said affectionately. you lifted your hips and pulled yourself off of his cock, more cum spilling out of you. you leaned back down to kiss him. âwe should get ready now,â he said, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips.
you hummed before throwing his famous smirk at him. jake quirked an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth raising. âgetting ready can wait another thirty minutes,â you murmured before trailing kisses down his body. jakeâs breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut when your kissed stopped right where the band of his boxers were.
your smirk grew. it was nice to know that you had the same effect on him that he had on you. that you could get him all worked up so easily like he sat in the palm of your hand. it made you feel on top of the world. âwe arenât done yet,â you said, grabbing his cum-covered cock into your hand as you began to stroke slowly.
a whimper left jakeâs parted lips as his eyes cracked open. the corners of his mouth were still raised, âiâm gonna make you eat your words.â
itâs safe to say that you and jake were a little late showing up to the summer splash charity event. all around the beach and boardwalk were people participating in various contests and competitions to raise money for the sheltered animals in town. you were in one of your momâs old dressesâit was so beautiful and formal that you felt a little awkward and restricted despite its flowinessâand jake had on a nice suit that matched your dress. the two of you looked stunning, if you did say so yourself.
at some point jake got pulled away from you by his friends to participate in a competition and you wandered the boardwalk looking at all the competing people. you could see why this was held every year, everyone was buzzing with energy and there were smiles all around.
âhey⊠y/n?â you turned to see jay coming up to you. you smiled at him.
âoh! hey, jay!â you said, turning to face him. he had a serious expression on his face and your eyes knitted together in worry. âwhatâs wrong?â you asked him. jay inhaled deeply and a flood of words poured from his mouth.
âlisten, i know you may think jake is the one, but he isnât the saint you think he is.â jay gave you a firm stare. you looked away, sighing to yourself. âjayâŠâ you trailed.
jay cut you off. âi have to say this before itâs too late. i like you, y/n. i really like you. and iâd never put you through all the things he hasâlead you on or fill your head with lies and half-truths. if youâd give me the chance, i could show you that weâre a better match.â you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off again. âthink about itâŠâ
jay then left you standing dumbfounded and completely confused on the boardwalk.
later that night, there was a venue the coordinators booked where people could dance and mingle with each other over drinks. you and jake were on the dance floor, way past tipsy, but not quite as drunk yet. a slow song started to play and the two of you swayed side to side before jake spun you.
you smiled adoringly up at him and he mirrored your expression. you leaned closer to him and leaned your head against his chest as the two of you continued to sway. âyou do know how much i like you,â you said to him, loud enough for it to be heard over the music but low enough that only his ears could hear and a bit slurred. you felt jake chuckle as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.
âi do,â he replied. âyou do know how much i like you, right?â you laughed and pulled away slightly to look up at him. you pressed your lips against his softly.
there was something else hanging in the air between you that you couldnât quite put your finger on. maybe your head was too misty from the alcohol, but it felt like it was on the tip of both of your tongues. you didnât linger on it, mind distracted by the sudden need to use the restroom.
pulling away from jake, you told him this and made your way to the restrooms. jake watched you leave, a small smile on his face. his face dropped when he saw a sneering hana follow after you. in a quick second decision he decided to go after the both of you.
when jake caught up to the two of you, it felt like he was walking directly into a car crash. âthe year you were gone he was with me!â he heard hana say as she shoved her phone in your face, swiping through various pictures. confusion spread through him. what was she talking about now?
your brows were knitted together as you took the phone from her, looking through all the pictures of her and jake. even with your clouded mind, you didnât believe hana at first, but ask you kept scrolling you werenât quite sure anymore. jakeâs hair was almost the same length as it was now and when you checked the dates it said it was from a year ago.
âmhm!â hana said, and it felt like she dug her claws into your heart and ripped it out. âas soon as you got on that plane he came to me!â your heart dropped and you turned to jake, hurt written all over your face. you felt absolutely crushed.
âis this true?â you asked him, voice trembling.
after everything he said to youâhe went back to her? when he said that nothing happened between them and nothing will ever again⊠was that all just a lie? did he take you as a fool again? you couldnât believe this.
âi love you, you know id never go back to her when this whole time iâve been waiting for you.â jake stepped towards you, still confused about what was happened. all he knew was that he didnât want to see that hurt look on your faceâhe couldnât take it. you quickly took a step back from him and he practically shriveled up and died.
in the background the coordinators were announcing how much money was raised tonight, but you could barely hear them with your heart beating in your ears. âbut you went back to her,â you spoke, voice raising.
jake gave you an incredulous look. âyouâre telling me you believe whatâs coming out of her mouth right now? seriously? whatever she showed youâtheyâre fake. she probably edited them.â
tears welled up in your eyes, your emotions everywhere from that stupid alcohol you decided to drink. âi donât know what to believe anymore! itâs always fucking something with you and iâm tired of it!â you exclaimed. you wanted to wrap your arms around yourself and disappear.
jake pleaded with you, âlisten to me. listen to what iâm telling you! itâs not true.â he took another step towards you and this time you let him.
seemingly out of thin air, jay appeared next to the three of you, turning his attention to jake. âwhy donât you tell her about what happened between the three of us, jake.â he motioned with a finger between him, jake, and hana. your brows drew deeper together as you looked between him. what is jay talking about?
âyeah, jake!â hana chimed it, a sickly sweet smile curling up the corners of her lips. âtell her.â
you looked back at jake and the bewildered look on his face as jay and hana pounced on him. jay then looked at you, âwell, if you wonât tell y/n then i will.â
jay stepped closer to you and jake and wrapped an arm around jakeâs shoulders. âyou wanna know the real reason why jake and i arenât bestfriends anymore?â jake pushed jay off of him but jay just shook his head, lips twitched up slightly into what looked like a sneer.
âbelieve it or not, we use to be closeâme, jake, sunghoon, the whole damn highschool swim team. until jakey hereââ jay poked a finger into jakeâs chest ââdecided to let it all crash and burn.â jay then turned to you. ânow, iâm not the most innocent either. jake and sunghoonâs game they like to playâthe whole player lifestyleâi use to be part of it all. we were all shitty, together.â
jay continued. âwe would see who could get attached to us the fastest, and once theyâd become too clingy⊠dropped. you see, we werenât looking for anything serious, just some fun! we had just graduated and werenât looking to settle down anytime soon. that is⊠until i was.â he then turned to hana, motioning a weak hand at her. ânow i should've known better to fall for someone who was clearly still so obsessed with jake, but i thought it was young love. pathetic.â
hana rolled her eyes at jay before tilting her head at you, âyou arenât as special as you think. before he took your virginity, he took mine. i was you, donât you see?â
jay snorted, âbefore he dropped you and barely remembered your name or who you were at all.â hana scoffed at him but jay ignored her. âhana and i started going steady and jake and sunghoon didnât like that. it was always âoh, the two of you arenât serious! youâll just drop her like the rest!â but months past and me not playing the game anymore only angered them more.â
jake finally seemed to snap out of his fog. âyouâre such a fucking liar. we werenâtââ
âso they decided to get back at me, a harmless prank,â jay cut him off. âand clearly hana was using me to get back to jake, unbeknownst to me. they all thought it would be so funny if i found jake and hana together, to show me that she âwasnât really worth it.â and i did find themâonly i didnât find it funny, but to them the plan went off without a hitch so it was a success.â
jay turned from all of you. you could feel the anger radiating off of him as he retold the story and lived through all of the memories. shock grew on your face and you looked at jake with wide eyes.
âcue the big, disastrous fight that split the former swim team in half. lifelong friendships were broken, people were betrayed, and people chose sides. you get the gist.â jay turned back to you all, waving a hand in the air, face steeled.
he looked at you again. âyou wanna know the kicker? despite not giving a single fuck about hanaânot oneâhe then dated her after for four months. just to really stick it to me.â
your mind flashed to jakeâs letter. about three years ago he said him and hana dated for four months but they âdidnât click,â so he broke up with her. he said that ever since sheâs been making his life hell with her obsession with him and her trying to get back together. you felt like you were going to throw up. you hated hana, that much was obvious, but you couldnât really dismiss the fact that jake took her virginity and then dropped her. it wasnât an excuse, but itâs no wonder sheâs so obsessed with him.
like she said, she was you. he probably made her feel like the only girl in the world for that one night.
âyouâre just jealous of what jake and i had,â hana said, crossing her arms over her chest. jayâs gaze darted to herâs and wryly laughed. âsure, hana. you keep telling yourself whatever you need to help you sleep at night. jake never liked you the way you think he did. the only reason he dated you so long was because sunghoon dared him to see how long he could go before going crazy.â
hana blinked a couple times. clearly that information was new to her, too.
âiâm never one to forgive and forget, so now you can see why our friendship has long been dead and buried,â jay concluded. âi told you heâs not the saint you think he is.â jay sounded sorry for you and jake just stared at you with wide, fearful eyes. it was all too much for you to process.
âi need some space. i canât⊠itâs over.â cheering exploded around you from everyone else at the party and you stumbled away, pushing through the door until you were hit in the face with fresh air. tears fell from your eyes and distantly you heard voices behind you calling your name.
you felt like no matter how hard you tried, oxygen wouldnât reach your lungs. you pressed your hand to your stomach, trying to will yourself to breathe. you heard people arguing next to you and you closed your eyes to try and steady yourself as you inhaled sharply, air finally reaching your lungs. you turned to the voices as your ears suddenly heard them clearly.
âyou just want everything i have, donât you? canât help yourself, huh?â jake shouted at jay.
jay got in his face and shouted back. âlike you canât help but throw the people you âcareâ about to the side?â jay turned his focus to you. âtell me, y/n, who did he put over you this time? what lie has he told you to keep you crawling back to him?â
jake pushed jay hard. âdonât fucking talk to my girlfriend like that!â
ânewsflash, you fucking idiot, she isnât your fucking girlfriend anymore! you canât help but ruin everything you touch!â jay yelled at jake. you felt your throat tightening again and you took a step back from them.
tears poured down your cheeks and a loud sob left your parted lips. they froze as their gaze snapped to your broken form. you turn and took off in a random direction that you hoped was towards your house.
you ran until you physically felt like you were gonna burst and gulped in a large breath of air. you heard jake calling after you as you swayed on your feet, vision blurring even more. jake put a hand on your shoulder, âbabyâŠâ
you spun in place, shrugging his hand off of you. âexplain. explain right fucking now, or i swear weâre done for good. what else have you been keeping from me?â you asked through tears.
in the moonlight you could see the sparkle of tears welling up in jakeâs eyes. âi swear thereâs nothing else! i-i just didnât want you to look at me like a monster when iâve done everything in my power to not be that person anymore,â jake promised. you scoffed and looked away from him.
âiâm not gonna let you slip through my fingers again,â jake said. he sounded desperate but his words fell on deaf ears. âi already am,â you coldly replied.
jake grabbed your hand in his, intertwining them. suddenly you felt his hands all over youâhis lips all over you and leaving the marks that were still on your skin, covered. ây/n⊠please just think this through. i havenât seen hana at all until that day on the beach with you. i was a horrible person back then, but canât you see that iâve changed?â
you pulled your hand away. âi need time to know if i can trust you. we need to spend some time apart,â you replied, completely detached. the tears stopped falling from your eyes but your cheeks were still wet. all you felt was numb. you gave jake one last look before turning and walking away.
you havenât been processing the past week and a half wellâif at all. instead, youâve been drinking a lot more than you care to admit. there practically hasnât been a day where you werenât at least a little bit tipsy. like today, you were just past tipsy and at the point where your mind was fogged over.
all you could think about was how hana said that she was you at one point and how that completely messed with your brain. what if jake was just seeing how long he could spend with you before going crazy like he did with hana? make you feel like the only girl in the world until the two of you âdonât clickâ anymore? it all terrified you, so you decide to not think about it at all.
you and jungwon were in your living room, lazily lounging on the couch as episodes of H2O: just add water played. you sighed deeply to yourself and jungwon looked over at you in question.
âeverything reminds me of him,â you sighed again, watching as the girls raced to cover from the water.
jungwon side-eyed you. âbe serious,â he said, eyes focusing on the tv screen again.
you stood from the couch, stumbling a bit. jungwon sat up. âwhere are you going?â he asked. you grabbed your jacket, thereâs been quite the chill in the air lately, and slipped on your shoes at the door. âsomewhere where i donât think of him,â you responded.
opening the door, you stepped out before jungwon could say anything else.
truthfully, you didnât know where you were going. you decided to wander and let your feet guide you hopefully to somewhere that jake wasnât. thatâs how you ended up a couple feet from jayâs backyard gate.
his words crept into your mind. maybe the two of you were the better matchâand you were so, so lonely. at the very least, you just needed someone to comfort you. you knew drinking everyday wasnât healthy, and jay was your friend. he would help you, right?
suddenly you heard his voice. ây/n?â jay asked and his face appeared in front of you. he looked worried and it took a second to realize that you were crying.
jay ushered you inside and to his room. he sat you on his bed, making sure that you were comfortable as he laid your jacket onto his desk chair. âwhat happened?â jay asked and all the emotions you tried so hard to keep at bay rushed forward.
it didnât help that you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on jayâs door. jakeâs love bites were just about healedâbut you could still see them. it made you cry harder.
jay took you into his arms and you melted into them, crying into his chest. he rubbed comforting circles into your back and held you close until you were able to calm down a little. you looked up at him for a moment, still teary eyed, and softly pressed your lips to his.
you could tell that he was shockedâyou were a little too, but he kissed you back nonetheless. the soft kiss between the two of you soon grew heated and you lifted yourself up onto the bed to sit in jayâs lap as his hand came to rest against your cheek. it wasnât enough, you needed more.
deepening the kiss you grinded against jayâs thigh and he pulled away from your lips slightly, brows drawn together as his eyes remained closed. ây/nâŠâ jay breathed, his voice low. âyou're emotions are high right now and i donât want you to do something that youâll end up regretting. take a nap, we can talk more when you wake up and youâre sober.â
he pulled away more but you just shook your head. you needed this. âpleaseâŠâ you whispered, looking at him desperately before chasing his lips. whatever internal battle jay had with himself, he clearly lost as he kissed you back with more passion than before.
you grinded against his thigh more, low whines escaping your mouth as you tried to pull him closer. then, you blinked and you were under him. the two of you caught your breath, staring deeply into each otherâs eyes. âdo you want me to be niceâŠâ jay trailed, breath fanning across the side of your neck, ââŠor do you want me to be mean?â
change is what you needed, and jake was always so nice when the two of you were intimate. âmean,â you replied, voice barely above a whisper. jay smiled before dipping his head to kiss you again, this time rougher.
clothes were discarded and in a flash you were laying naked on jayâs bed. your legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer as you grabbed his shoulders for dear life as he pushed into you. your face contorted into one of pleasure and you buried your face into the crook of his neck to muffle your moan.
jay pushed you back onto the bed so he could get a full view of you and shook his head. âso pathetic and desperate⊠i want to hear you moan for me.â
he thrusted roughly into you and you moaned loudly. âthatâs it,â jay smiled, fucking into you at a fast pace.
your eyes rolled back and all you could do was let the moans and whines and whimpers spill from your open mouth. jayâs pace was so fast that you felt like you were being split in two, his thick length stretching you so good that you saw stars.
he bent down to the shell of your ear, grunting from the effort he was putting in as he held down your hips, âi bet he never made you feel this good.â your back arched off the bed as you started to tremble.
ânever was able to have to have you act like a whore in heat for cock, has he?â jay asked. you couldnât answer him, head too in the clouds to even form a coherent sentence. you felt too good and pleasure spread throughout every inch of your body. it made you forget what you even came here for.
you were flipped so that you were on your hands and knees. your face fell down into the pillow. suddenly, there was pain at your scalp. jay kissed the side of your neck, his hand buried in your hair. âshow me how much of a good girl you are. how desperate you are.â
gulping, with shaky legs you fucked yourself on his cock. everytime your head would try to fall, jay would tighten his grip in your hair to keep you upright. the more you fucked yourself onto him, the more your legs shook at the feeling in the pit of your stomach grew. you were sent over the edge when jay pushed your head into the pillows and fucked you himself.
âtoo m-much!â you cried, tears springing to your eyes. âcanâtâŠâ
âawe, you poor slutâŠâ jay cooed mockingly. his condescending words only aided the rope in your stomach further to snapping. âsweet, pretty little whore. be glad your head is in the pillows and iâm not making you ride me like i should be.â
you cried out again, rope completely snapping as you came around jayâs cock. he didnât stopâof course he didnât. he was gonna keep going until he got his fill too.
you writhed underneath him as his pace only grew quicker. he pulled you by your hair towards him and back onto his cock as leverage to rut into you quicker. your mixed grunts and moans filled his room and the overstimulation sent you spiraling.
jay twitched inside you and he let go of your hair and grabbed your hips tightly, holding them against his as he came inside you and filled you up more. a loud moan fell from his lips as you fell back into the pillows, your body feeling like complete jelly.
âfuck,â jay groaned. âthatâs my little slut.â
pulling out of you, you felt as your mixed cum poured out of you and down the back of your legs in a thick load. jay cursed behind you again before taking two fingers and fucking your sensitive hole with them, groaning at the wet sound it made. you whimpered, trying to angle your hips away from him.
âso pretty⊠so pathetic.â jay chuckled to himself.
your mind was still hazy from the alcohol as jay pulled you up onto shaking legs to get you all cleaned up in his bathroom. you could barely see with the change of scene and bright lights making everything seem blurry. you didnât even realize that you were back in his room now and he was helping you put your shirt back on.
it wasnât until you woke up, who knows how many hours later, next to him in just your shirt and panties confused. your head felt like it was going to explode from the alcohol as you took a look around the room, eyes widening from the unfamiliar surroundings. you were even more confused when a sleeping, half-naked jay was next to you. a horrific expression set on your face.
the sun was just about to set and guilt and regret hit you like a freight train. slowly, you slid out of the bed, making sure that jay didnât wake up. you hurriedly put the rest of your clothes and jacket on and rushed out of jayâs room as quietly as you could.
all of the memories rushed back to you all at once as you rushed down the path to the boardwalk. what have you done? kissing jay was one thing, but sleeping with him? that was something entirely else. now it was all tangled in your emotions regarding your relationship with jake.
head hung low, you ran all the way back to you house, wishing that you never stepped out in the first place.
you had just gotten off work and were on your way home when a hand grabbed your wrist and spun you around.
âso you slept with him?â jake asked, crossed somewhere between hurt and anger. your eyes widened and that familiar guilt filled you once more. âi-i was drunk, it was a mistake!â you quickly replied.
jake wryly laughed. âa mistakeâŠâ he trailed, shaking his head and looking to the ground.
âyes, a mistake!â you exclaimed, pulling your wrist from his grasp. âand i regret ever doing it. youâre acting like youâre the only one whoâs allowed to make mistakes!â jake looked at you incredulously. âhow did you even find out?â you asked.
you surely didnât tell anybody, you had no want nor need to flaunt it around. it never shouldâve happened at all. that doesnât mean jake got to look at you like you betrayed him when the two of you arenât even together anymore.
jake pulled out his phone and shoved the screen in your face. âbecause he sent me a fucking picture of you sleeping half-naked in his bed with the word âcheckmateâ attached.â
heart dropping, you took jakeâs phone as you looked horrifically at his screen. you werenât half-nakedâyou were covered by your rolled up shirt and pantiesâbut it was still way too exposed. you honestly couldnât believe that jay would take a picture of you afterâand send it to jake, no less.
the sudden realization hit you harder than all of the guilt and regret youâve been feeling. jay used you to get a leg up on jake. how much of him liking you was just him trying to get back at jake through you. a second realization hitâtheyâve both been using you to get back at each other in this years-long rivalry. you felt sick.
tears welled up in your eyes and you pushed jakeâs phone into his chest to get it away from you. you ran your hands down your face as you tried to breathe. you then glared up at him, âdonât act like you care... you only want me to get a leg up on jay. you donât actually want me. both of you have been using me to get back at each other. all of this has been meaningless.â
âthatâs not true, and you know thatâs not true.â jake sighed deeply. âif you want jayâfine. iâll take a step back and i wonât bother you anymore. but you canât keep dragging me along and toying with both our feelings because you canât decide. we canât do this anymoreâi canât do this anymore, y/n. you know that iâm in love with you, and i know that you love me too deep inside. iâm trying to tell you how you calling this all meaningless really hurts me.â
âyouâd know a lot about hurting people,â you murmured. âand âdragging you alongâ? âtoying with both of your feelingsâ? iâve done nothing of the sort.â a single tear fell from your eye and you harshly wiped it away.
âif you canât accept that it was a mistake sleeping with jay and that i deeply regret itâwhatever. but, the only people dragging people along and toying with feelings have been you and jay.â with that you turned on your heels and stormed off.
[ AUTUMN â THE COLD AIR MATCHES YOUR HEART ] đŒ and itâs freezing to the boneâyet, thereâs a spark.
your mind was everywhere lately, a complete mess. at least you had stopped drinking since sleeping with jay. only, things changed for the worse.
you felt like an echo of who you were when you first arrived in this town. in a couple of weeks you had managed to convince yourself that maybe this was the best you were ever going to get. that maybe letting people use you in such ways was the only way you would ever feel loved. at least, thatâs how it seemedâand so far nothing was proving your thoughts wrong.
the relationship between you and jay was complicated. you didnât even know how to describe it anymore. he went around acting as if you were his girlfriend, even going so far to plant kisses on your cheeks. however, the two of you havenât even kissed since the day you slept with him.
on your end, he was still just a close friendâthough you have been growing more distant from him. you didnât know if he noticed, and at this point you didnât care. the only thing you wanted to do these days were get up, go to work, go home, and sleep the rest of the day away.
you were walking home one day after work, completely out of it and not at all listening to what jay was saying to you, when he stopped you. jay sighed to himself, like something had been weighing on his mind. âi canât,â he said suddenly. all your energy allowed was the quirk of your eyebrow in a silent question.
âthis has to stop. clearly you arenât interested and i like you way too much to have only a half-assed relationship. itâs either one-hundred percent or nothing at all.â
something clicked in your brain and you gave him a pleading look as you shook your head. you didnât want to lose the only affection you had left. âwhat are you talking about?â you asked.
âi mean come on, the two of you are made for each other, it's clear as day!â jay drawled. âhas anyone told you what he was like when you left? even i was shocked to see him look like a shell of himself. and you act like i canât see itâeven when youâre with me youâre imagining youâre with himâŠâ
tears poured from your eyes as you shook your head more. âno⊠no, thatâs not true!â
deep down you knew it was true. you spent all your waking hours thinking about jake. thought about how royally you both fucked everything up. and to think that you didnât want drama this summer⊠all your summer was filled with was dramaâand it was creeping into your autumn too.
all you wanted was to be in jakeâs arms again, but you didnât know if that would ever happen. not after how much the two of you hurt each other. maybe it was for the best that you werenât together if all it was going to cause was pain.
jay nodded at you solemnly. âgo. be with him. stop delaying the inevitable when we both know the two of us wonât work out.â
âbut-but i like you!â you exclaimed. another lie, but it was your last attempt at the love you so desperately clung toâeven if it was false.
ânot in the same way you love him, y/n.â
jay gave you a sad smile before he turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone as tears slid down your cheeks. you wrapped your arms around yourself as the cold autumn breeze draped over your body and made you shake. you sniffled and kept walking to your house, trying not to cry harder.
later that night you were even more of a mess than you were before. you sat in the dark of your room as you cried even more and even harder, the tears just seemingly never ended.
all you thought about was how you fucked everything up. how nothing will ever probably be the same again. and worst of allâall you wanted was someone who most likely didnât want anything to do with you anymore.
to make matters worse, the subconscious part of your brain was working overtime and you didnât even register the ringing of the phone pressed to your ear until it was too late.Â
ây/n?â jakeâs voice asked softly, slightly groggy. shit.
your eyes widened to saucers and you fumbled with the phone in your hands as you tried to quiet your sobs. you finally pressed the âendâ button and threw your phone across the room. seconds later you heard your phone buzzing with a missed call and texts from jake.Â
âshitâŠâ you trailed, realizing your mistake. all you did these days were make mistakes. âshit, shit, shit!â the tears fell from your eyes faster and you desperately wanted to screamâand you wouldâve if it wasnât so late in the night and your family was asleep.
a few minutes later, you heard the familiar opening of your window. jake stepped over the window ledge, clad in his pajamas and his long hair tousled like he got attacked by wind despite there not being even a breeze outside. shocked filled you as your eyes met his after so long.
you quickly wiped away your tears and turned your back to him. âi-i donât want to talk to you!â you lied, sniffling hard to stop the sob trying to fight its way out of your body. you hated to admit it, but jakeâs mere presence already made you feel immensely better.
the sound of your window closing behind you made you jump slightly. âthen donât talk,â jake said. behind you, the bed dipped. jake pressed his back against yours and you could feel the slow rise and fall of his breathing. âbut iâm not leaving you alone right now.â
slowly, jake intertwined his hand with yours. âyou can be as angry as you want with me. be as silent as a mouse until you want to talk again⊠but iâm not leaving your side.â the pad of his thumb rubbed the back of your hand and you broke down completely.
sobs wrecked through your body and you could no longer hide them from him. hot tears ran down your cheeksâmore tears than you felt like youâve ever cried in your entire life. you completely unraveled. you could tell that jake wanted to turn around and comfort youâyou felt the turn of his head as he tried to look at you and the twitch of his fingersâbut he wanted it to be on your terms. that just made you cry even more.
youâve cried so much today that you were sick of crying forever.
it was shocking that even for a second you thought differently. jake was the one for you. it was always going to be jake, no matter the up and downs the two of you went through. it was never going to be anybody but him. you burned for him like you didnât for no other.
finally, you managed to get yourself together enough to speak. half coherent apologies fell from your lips. âi-iâm sorry,â you finally managed. âiâm so sorry. i⊠i ruined everything andââ jake shushed you and you felt him shake his head.
you continued anyway, âi was acting like⊠likeâŠâ you just couldnât find the right words.
jake shushed you again, this time turning to face you. you turned too, blistering tears still falling from your eyes. jake shook his head and cupped your wet cheeks with his hands, using the pad of his thumbs to wipe them away. you stared at him again for the first time in so long, still not quite believing that he was in front of you again.
you both seemed to be worse for wear. there were dark circles under jakeâs eyes and they were red-rimmed like he had cried recently. still, he looked at you with that certain look in his eyes that he always had, and you were finally able to put a name to itâlove.
âyou didnât do anything wrong,â jake said softly, but firmly. ânothing at all. if anyone is sorry, itâs me. you donât know how sorry i am for making you think that i was dragging you along and toying with your feelings. i would never do that to you.â
your brows knitted together. you didnât understand how he was so forgiving of you. you shook your head, âyou deserve better than me.â
jake just chuckled. âi donât want anybody but you.â
jake rested his forehead against yours before pulling you closer to him. you rested your head against his chest, hearing the soft thumps of his heartbeat, as you wrapped your arms around him. jake held you tightlyâlike if he let you go you would completely disappear.
slowly, you felt yourself begin to drift, the taxing emotions of the day finally catching up with you. you gripped the back of jakeâs pajama shirt, scared that once you fell asleep you would wake up and he would be gone and this was just all one big dream. but the more you tried to say awake, the further your eyelids drooped.
âcome here,â jake whispered, moving into a lying position. you cuddled up into his side, your head on his chest. jake rested his chin on your head. âsleep,â he said. âiâm not going anywhere.â
it didnât take you long to drift into darkness, the sound of jakeâs heartbeat aiding you. still, you grabbed onto him like your life depended on it the entire wayâeven after jake had covered the two of you with your blanket.
in the morning, jake awoke to you still tucked into his side and to the creek of your bedroom door opening. jungwon poked his head inside, a worried look on his face, before nearly jumping ten feet in the air after seeing jake.
jake held a finger to his lips, silently telling jungwon to keep quiet since you were still sleeping. with wide eyes, jungwon nodded. slowly, he shut the door and left the two of you alone.
looking down at you, jake made sure that you were still sleeping and was relieved to find that you still were. the sun peeked through your closed blinds, lighting up your room ever so slightly. jake held you closer to him and softly cradled your face with his hand, careful to not wake you. you stirred, but only to move closer to him, making jake smile.
later, you stirred again. this time jake knew you were waking up since your grip on his shirt suddenly tightened again as you stiffened. jake rubbed circled onto your back before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, the actions visibly relaxing you.
your eyes cracked open, adjusted to the change in brightness, and looked up at him before you buried your face back into jakeâs chest. jakeâs smile grew and you felt the vibrations of his laugh. âgood morning, pretty,â jake said.
the cold autumn weather was only getting colder, but that didnât stop you and jake from going to your spot.
you were giggling as jake wrapped his scarf around you, purposefully covering more of your face than he needed. he then pulled the scarf down to chastely kiss your lips, returning the scarf back to its former position of covering your face. you giggled more, âyou gonna get sick!â
âall that matters to me is that my girlfriend doesnât get sick,â jake replied.Â
you pulled him closer to you by his jacket and pressed your lips against his. the two of you moved your lips in sync before you pulled away, serious. there was something that youâve been meaning to tell him since youâve got here, and you felt that now was finally the time.
almost nervously, you said, âi love you, jake.â
jake stared at you for a second with wide eyes, like he thought he didnât quite hear you clearly. when you smiled nervously at him is when it finally clicked for him. jakeâs whole face lit up and he kissed you so passionately that the two of you almost fell over. âi love you,â he said before kissing you again.
you pulled away for air, giggling at his reaction. he started kissing you all over your face and you pushed him away, laughing more. âjake!â you exclaimed. he pressed a couple more kisses to your cheeks before kissing your lips again. âwhat?â he asked innocently, âi was just warming you up.â
you rolled your eyes and stood to your feet. you pulled him to his feet as well and the two of you dusted off sand from your clothes. âwell, we should probably move away from the sea,â you smiled at him. your face then lit up.
there was still one more thing on your shared bucket list that you and jake still didnât do. you completely forgot about the bucket list in general with everything that happened. âthe abandoned skate park!â you exclaimed. âwe still havenât added our names to it!â
jake intertwined your gloved hand with his. he looked at you with eyes full of love. âletâs go then!â he smiled at you, kissing your cold cheeks. you scrunched your nose at him before dragging him out of your spot and towards the skate park.
on the way there, the two of you bought a disposable camera and a can of spray paint in your favorite colorâat jakeâs adamance. the two of you seeked out a good place to add your names for a while before finally finding the perfect spot.
âokay, go!â jake said, aiming his phone towards you. you turned and sprayed ây/n + jake = foreverâ into the spot the two of you had picked out before running back to where jake stood. the two of you switchedâyou taking the phone to record and him the spray can. jake then ran over and sprayed a wonky heart around your names, causing you to laugh.
jake looked back at you and laughed. âi told you you shouldâve done the heart!â
you came up to him and he wrapped his arms around you as you got the two of you and your names in the camera viewâkissing him briefly with an adoring smileâbefore ending the recording all together. jake then pulled the disposable camera out of his jacket pocket and snapped a picture of it and then of the two of you next to it. âto more memories!â he said.
after, jake turned to you. âdo you remember what happened here?â he asked you. you nodded, âof course i do! this is where we had our first kiss!â jake smiled at you, kissing you like he did so long ago again, completely setting you alight and making your heart race even after all of this time.
âsay it again,â jake said, his forehead against yours. you smiled. âi love you,â you replied.
you could practically feel the smile on jakeâs face grow larger. âagain,â he said. you giggled at him and the way he pulled you closer to his chest. âi love you, jake.â
âi love you, too.â jake kissed you again.Â
you felt as if your world was back on track now, no longer was the axis all out of place. you were here in jakeâs arms where you belonged, his lips against yours as the two of you giggled at each other. you would never love anyone like you love jake. âi love you more,â you finally replied to him.
jake shook his head at you. âimpossible,â he laughed. ânobody can love anyone as much as i love you.â
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hotbox (gift for patron just.leg)
#my art#love this experimental asf#trying to do that triangle light on top of nose thing the top anime artists always do#still sucks here but nowadays i'm doing better at it#this art has a sad story to it lol#so I got a gift benefit on my patreon#join it if you like my art btw#anyway one of the benefit is i'll draw you a pic#so the person in this art joined for a while#which is nice#but after i draw this pic#they left my patreon immediately#it kinda left sour taste in my mouth#I MEAN ITS FINE TBH#like if you wanna join my patreon to get benefits like free art its ok#but i was hoping that you would be here because you like my stuff and wanna support me#you know#as a patron?#but its ok#i moved on pretty quickly#and now i have more friends supporting me in my patreon than it was before#so I guess things would get better
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