#hopefully we can get this sorted out tomorrow and have her feeling better soon :(

[actualmichelle]

lol they weren't able to get a urine sample on friday so they sent Kiki home with these anti-absorption beads to put in an empty litter box

She walks past the litter box and gazes at it longingly but she will not use it. And she did pee today so I know it's not because she can't go, she just doesn't want to .... she was soooo mad when she realized that her normal litter wasn't there.

So I guess I'll give her a couple more hours and if she won't use it we'll just need to go to the vet again tomorrow. I can't withhold her litter for too long if she's going to refuse to go 😭

[mountttmase]

Change Of Heart

The End - Part Five

Note - thank you for all your feedback last week, I’m glad we’re all on team Mason but hopefully our girl has a chance to redeem herself this week 😭 feedback is appreciated like always and I hope you enjoy a bit of a lighter chapter 🤭

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 7.4k

Warnings - series contains angst & fluff

It seemed like no matter where you looked, Mason's name was in your face. His boyhood club dragging him through the mud and as much as you tried to keep in contact and let him know you were there for him, he was keeping his cards close to his chest.

Mason had been linked with a few different clubs over the last few months, but the name Manchester United was one that seemed to be sticking. You didn’t want to get your hopes up that maybe soon enough he’d be closer to you both but as soon as you saw the here we go you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face.

Mason had messaged you ten minutes ago asking if he could call you but so far you hadn’t heard a thing. Gee was up in her room playing while you were making dinner but as soon as you felt your phone vibrating you turned everything off and answered as quickly as you could.

‘Hey Mase’

‘Hey love, you alright?’ He answered but you could tell straight away how emotional he was.

‘Yeah, fine. You?’ You asked carefully. Hoping he knew it would be okay to talk to you and after a beat of silence you heard him sigh.

‘Yeah, I um… I don’t know if you’ve seen’ he asked cautiously and you knew this was your time to step up and be the friend he’d always been to you. It was as clear as day he needed someone and you were ready to be exactly what he wanted.

‘I’ve seen, Mase’

‘Okay’ he gulped, his voice timid and it made your tummy ache at how sad he sounded.

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Dunno, a bit numb to it all I think’ he chuckled but you could tell there was no joy in it. ‘I could really do with a hug’

‘Next time I see you I’ve got the biggest hug ever for you, okay? Gee too, I promise’ you reassured him but you could feel yourself becoming emotional at how he sounded. He’d been through a lot lately but you’d never heard him so downbeat.

‘Thank you’ he laughed ‘I’ll be seeing you soon I guess. We’re leaving the trip early to travel up and I’ve got a hotel for the week but maybe I could pop by?’

‘Of course, you can stay with me the whole time Mase you know that right?’ You offered but you knew it made more sense for him to stay with his family.

‘It’s fine, the club are paying for the hotel and then I’ll be away on tour no doubt. And I’ll hopefully have a house sorted when I get back’

‘Well you know you can come over whenever’. You reiterated and after a beat of silence you could help but ask how he was again. ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Mase?’

‘I’ll be fine, sorry I would say more but we’re in the car’ he explained and you understood immediately that he didn’t want to say too much in front of his family.

‘No it’s fine, listen I need to make Gee’s dinner and sort her out for bed but why don’t you call me later? Like when you’re in your room and we can have a proper talk’ you offered. Not wanting him to bottle it all up and make himself sick.

‘Are you sure? It might be late’

‘I’m sure Mase. I told you I’m always here, yeah? Even if it’s 2am I’ll wait for you, okay?’

‘Thank you’ he whispered and you could hear the emotion in his voice. Trying to gulp it down as best he could before he let you go so you could sort Gee out.

It had just gone midnight when Mason messaged you to say he was ready. He knew it was late and said if you were too tired it could wait until tomorrow but you were high on adrenaline and knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep without speaking to him first.

‘Hey’ he breathed as he answered. A little more pep in his tone which made you feel better but you knew this was going to be a hard conversation.

‘Hey Mase, how’s the hotel?’

‘Yeah it’s nice. Feels weird being in Manchester and not staying with you though’

‘I’ll see you soon though, yeah? I’m so sorry it didn’t work out how you wanted it to Mase, they’re complete dicks I swear to god’ you started but you could tell from his laugh on the other end of the line he was feeling better than earlier.

‘Y/n honestly, it’s fine. Yeah it’s sad and it sucks but I’ve had some time to think about it in the car and I think this is for the best’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, like don’t get me wrong It's gonna be weird and will take some getting used to but it’s a fresh start and is not like I’m completely on my own. I’ve got Luke, Harry, Rashy and Jadon there. I’m sure the other guys are nice too but it’ll help having them around’

‘You’ve got a couple of other people up here too’ you told him with a smile and it’s like you could feel his radiating down the line.

‘Oh yeah, who's that?’ he asked cheekily and it was the most normal you’d heard him sound all day.

‘Well there’s me for starters. And there’s a little girl who’s asleep next to me who thinks the absolute world of you and I know she’ll be so excited to have you close by now’ you told him. Usually she would have been asleep in her own bed but you thought she was coming down with something and wanted to check on her so she was currently snoozing away peacefully next to you.

‘Have you told her yet?’

‘No, I thought we could tell her together? You know whenever you’ve got time to come here and I can give you that hug I promised you’

‘How about tomorrow afternoon?’ He suggested and you nodded even though he couldn’t see. Happy that you were seeing him sooner than you thought you’d be able to. ‘I’ve got my medical tomorrow but I might need your help with something after’

‘Let me guess? Is it the fact you look like a highlighter right now?’ You laughed and even through the phone you could see his little embarrassed smile.

‘A little bit’ he giggled. ‘Do you think you could help me sort it out’

‘I’ll grab some dye tomorrow on my lunch break, okay?’

‘And that’s why you’re my best friend’

‘That’s me’ you gulped, the phrase rattling around in your brain a little bit and making you feel uncomfortable.

You weren’t sure if it was the fact you were feeling incredibly protective of him right now but the sound of best friend falling from his lips made you a little disappointed for some reason. You shook it off though and spoke to him for a little while longer until he sounded even more himself again before he had to go. You knew tomorrow would be a long day and he needed his sleep so with a quick goodnight you ended the call.

Mason came over at around 4pm the next day and you opened the door in a hurry. Excitedly pulling him into your arms and you didn’t miss the way he clung to you tighter than he ever had. A quiet sob falling from his lips but you heard it loud and clear and it made your heart break.

‘Oh Mase, come on let’s go and sit down’ you told him. Pulling him into the living room and popping him on the sofa but he was biting his lip to keep it all in and you didn’t want him to. ‘You don't have to put a brave face on for me okay?’

‘I know’ he sniffed, but you knew he didn’t want you to see him upset so you pulled him into your chest and let him hide his face. ‘Fuck I can’t believe it’s just over and done like that’

‘They don’t deserve your sadness. Just think of this as a new adventure okay? It’s not the one you’d planned but life works in mysterious ways’ you told him as you ran your fingers over his scalp

‘I know, thank you love’ he mumbled sleepily. Relaxing fully into your hold and you knew this was the first time he’d been able to be free with his emotions and not put on a front.

You both sat like that for about half an hour. Mason telling you all about his medical that took place and you were pleased to find out he’d passed. He hadn’t managed to see many people at the club yet though and he was hoping he could meet some of his team mates tomorrow but before long the inevitable question came from him.

‘Where’s Gee?’

‘She’s asleep’ you told him with a laugh. ‘I should wake her up soon, she was just being a right grump so I put her down for a nap. I think she’s getting a little cold’

‘Ah no, poor thing. Can I wake her up?’ He asked shyly and you were in no position to deny him. Thinking you’d probably do anything at this point to make him smile so you took his hand and squeezed it gently.

‘Go on then’ you smiled. Following him into her room where he carefully tried to wake her up and you had to hold on your giggles at the way he was being so careful not to make any noise. Laying his face next to hers whilst shaking her gently to try and wake her and you watched in delight as her face lit up at the sight of him.

‘Masey’ she mumbled sleepily. Wrapping her arms around his neck so he could lift her and you could see it as clear as day how much joy she gave him. Watching on from the doorway full of love at your two favourite people and from the way Mason was smiling at you, you knew he was feeling it too.

‘Surprise, pickle’ he laughed. ‘I thought you might not recognise me’

‘She’s been calling you candy floss head ever since I showed her the picture of you the other week’ you laughed, walking over to the pair of them so you could brush your fingers through his grown out locks and you didn’t miss the way his eyes fluttered shut at your touch.

‘Well I can’t be candy floss head anymore. Uncle masey is having his picture taken tomorrow so I need to sort the barnet out’ he told her as she joined you in touching Mason's hair. ‘You're working tomorrow aren’t you? Its okay I was just wondering if you wanted to come along with the rest of us’

‘Oh I would if I could Mase, but I’m down a few staff for holidays and if Gee is out of daycare for a day that I’ve paid for she might lose her place’ you pouted but he just nodded understandingly.

‘It’s okay, I’ll just send you updates’ he smiled. Looking back down at Gee who was smiling up at him happily. ‘Come on then, let’s sort this out’

You made him sit on the edge of the bath with the towel around his shoulders as you applied the dye. Gee watching on as you coated his hair and it was good to see she’d perked up a little bit with Mason around. Singing him the new song she’d learnt that day whilst trying to teach him the actions but he couldn’t quite get it and she would laugh hysterically each time he messed up.

Once it was all washed out and he was back to being your Mason, you made a start on dinner so you could all sit together and once it was over you could see Mason was itching to tell Gee his news.

‘Hey Gee, you know how much you love having uncle Masey around?’ You started, watching her little head nod up and down enthusiastically. ‘Well what if I told you we might be able to see him a lot more often now?’ You told her but the reality suddenly hit that you didn’t know for sure if he’d be able to see you guys anymore than he did. He just said he was moving closer and that was all. ‘Well I hope we will at least’

‘Of course you will, I’ll be bugging you everyday if I can’ he told you sincerely but you just giggled at him before he turned to Gee with a smile. ‘Uncle Masey is getting a new house not too far from here so I’ll be able to see you all the time. And we can have sleepovers and all sorts. Maybe I can come and get you from daycare sometimes? What do you think?’

She couldn’t speak much, her mouth full of pasta as Mason was still feeding her but from the way she clapped her hands and tried to laugh excitedly you could tell she was over the moon at the idea.

‘You don’t have to do that, Mase’

‘I want to though. You help me out all the time and it’s no biggie if it gives you a bit of a break. You’ve been on your own up here but you’ve got help now’ he told you sincerely and you felt your chest warm at how kind he was being. ‘Plus you guys know all the good places up here now. You need to teach me the ways’ he joked but you couldn’t wait to take him to all your favourite places properly.

Mason couldn’t stay too much longer, claiming he needed his beauty sleep so he didn’t look rough in his pictures so you let him go with the promise that he’d call you as soon as he could the next day.

You texted him that morning but didn't expect to hear from him until much later that evening though as you knew he’d had a long day but you just stepped through the door, your phone began to ring.

‘Hey, Mase. How did it go?’ You asked excitedly as soon as you answered the phone and you heard his little giggle straight away.

‘Yeah really good thanks, love. We’re just on the way back to the hotel now’ he told you and you could tell by his voice how much happier he seemed than yesterday. ‘Do you think you’d wanna join us for dinner tonight? We’re just eating there but I know Summer would love to see Gee and my mums asking after you’

‘If it gets me out of cooking then I’m all for it. Just let me know when and where and I’ll be there’ you told him and within the next half an hour you were on your way. Lewis meeting you out the front so he could take you to everyone and Gee was quick to run to Summer who gave her a big hug.

Seeing Mason's parents made you realise how much you missed your own. You saw them every so often when you made the trip home or they came to visit but being surrounded by so much love made you feel a little homesick. Gee’s birthday was coming up soon though and you knew you’d be seeing them soon which cheered you up slightly.

You sat and listened as they told you all about their day. Mason chiming in when he could but he was sitting in between Gee and Summer so he had his hands full but every so often he’d send you a warm smile that made your heart melt.

‘Gee, you wanna come up and see my room?’ He asked her as you were finishing up your dessert and you could see her nodding up at him. ‘I’ve got a little something for you up there too if you’re good’

‘What have you done? You laughed but he just looked at you with his usual cheeky smile and you couldn’t figure out what he was up to.

‘Me? Nothing’ he winked, shrugging his shoulders before leaning over the back of Gee’s chair so he could talk to you a little more privately. ‘What about you anyway, have you been good?’

‘I’m always good’ you chuckled. The question suddenly making your neck and cheeks feel hot and you didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed to your lips before he chuckled light heartedly.

‘I know you are, that’s why I’ve got something for you too’ he told you with a wink and you had to look down into your lap so no one could see how much you were blushing at his silly comment.

You bid his family farewell before he took you up to his room. Mason holding Gee’s hand as they walked in front of you down the corridor and your heart melted at the way she kept looking back and smiling at you like she was the happiest girl in the world to be with him.

Mason had that effect on people though.

Once in Mason's huge room, he sat Gee on his lap as you sat next to them as he did his best to explain to her that he was part of a new team now so he had a new kit before producing a little shirt for her. His name and new number proudly sitting on the back and after you’d helped her put it on over her dress she was straight over to the mirror to admire herself in it.

‘Number seven, yeah? Mason that’s huge’ you told him. Your voice emotional and you finally saw it in the flesh but he grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently.

‘I know’ he chuckled. ‘Big responsibility but I’m up for it. They’ve been really good to me, you know? I wanna pay it back to them’

‘Come here’ you whispered. Opening your arms and pulling him into a hug that he gladly accepted and you couldn’t get over how much you needed him close right now. The feel and smell of him brought you comfort more than anything and it was like you needed the hug just as much as he did. Knowing you’d been worrying about him for weeks but now you knew things would finally be okay made your shoulders relax.

‘I got you one too’ he mumbled. The words almost getting lost in your neck but you pulled away with a quizzical look before he was reaching over to hand you another new shirt. ‘I know it might be weird, you’ve always supported me at Chelsea so I get if you don’t wanna wear it-‘

‘Hey, I’m a you fan, Mase. I’ll support you in whatever way you need’ you smiled. ‘Plus I think I prefer the red anyway, it matches my lipstick. The blue always clashed’

‘I mean I think you look good in whatever, but I’m glad you agree’ he shrugged and you felt heat rising up your neck at his compliment.

Mason stayed in the hotel for the next few weeks until he went on tour but you knew he wasn’t happy there. People had figured out where he was and would follow him home from training so when he got back from America and he told you his house wouldn’t be ready for another week or so, you practically forced him to move in with you.

It was nice having someone to come home to, someone to cook for who wasn’t almost two years old and someone you could have an adult conversation with.

Most of the time anyway.

Gee loved having him there too by all accounts, but ever her perceptive self she knew he was about to leave soon and her mood on his last full day with you took a plumet. She couldn’t understand why he wasn’t staying with you forever and she spent most of the day in a mood on the sofa refusing to eat. The only time she came out of her shell a bit was when Mason laid down next to her and put his head in her lap and she couldn’t resist him. Giggling as she tried to hug his head and kiss it sweetly and the whole interaction made you feel softer than ever for them both.

‘You don’t need to be upset about me going, Gee. You know we’ll still see each other all the time. Even more so than we used to, okay? I’ll only be down the road’ he assured her. ‘I can’t stay away from my favourite girl for too long so I’ll be back all the time’ he explained and you felt your heart thudding in your chest during their little conversation.

Mason had always been good with kids, but to see him like this with your baby was something completely different and as much as Gee was moody that he was going, you couldn’t exactly blame her as you were feeling the same.

‘You’re so good with her’ you smiled, watching him blush slightly at your compliment as he came into the kitchen a few moments later. ‘Though I am a bit mad at you’ you huffed playfully but he took your words seriously. His face dropping as he looked at you carefully and you could see the confusion in his big brown eyes.

‘What did I do?’

‘I thought I was your favourite’ you pouted. ‘I know she’s just a baby but I’ve known you longer’ you teased. Trying your hardest to look upset but he saw right through it. Giggling as he grabbed your waist and when he pulled you into a hug you relaxed as he held you.

‘You know you’ll always be my number one girl’ he told you softly. The words getting lost in your hair but that didn’t mean they lost their effect. Your skin breaking out in goosebumps as you tried to stop the giant smile at the thought of still being his favourite person but before you could tell him he was your number one too, he carried on speaking. ‘But since you decided to clone yourself, unfortunately you’re gonna have to share me’

You didn’t know what it was, but the thought of sharing Mason with anyone but Gee made you feel uncomfortable. Your smile dropping instantly as you instinctively held him closer but he squeezed you back just as tight before dropping a kiss on your head and pulling away.

Mason was yours, no one else’s

You remember thinking years ago that you’d have to put up with the person chose as his his own one day, just like Mason had done for you with Jack but now the prospect filled you with dread.

You didn’t want to see him with anyone else. The thought of him touching anyone else, kissing someone else… you hated the idea of it to the point it made your skin feel hot and clammy.

You knew you were being selfish, Mason wasn’t yours and you’d told him you didn’t see him in a romantic way but the thought suddenly hit you that if no one else could have him then what did that mean?

Did that mean you had to have him?

You’d never given being with him much thought, yes you knew he still harboured some feelings for you, at least he’d admitted as much around a year ago now but Mason had always been your best friend and you never really had time to sit and think about how your relationship had grown.

But now?

He was your safe place. Your light in the dark when things were going wrong and you felt hopeless. The boy that made you laugh when you needed it and held you when you needed that too.

The boy who’d taken on your plus one like she was his own and did everything he could in his power to keep the both of you happy and safe.

He made you feel like a family

You loved Mason. Loved him more than you realised or could possibly explain to anyone else as it only made sense to you but the possibility of now being in love with him was smacking you in the face.

He was over by the stove and you turned to steal a glance of him. His brows pinched and lips pouty as he stirred the pot you’d abandoned and you were filled with that same warm feeling. Like he was human sunshine and all you wanted was to bask in his glow but clearly you’d gotten yourself wrapped up in your feelings a little too much until the sound of his voice was snapping you out of your trance.

‘Have I got something on my face?’ He asked, wiping his cheek softly but you just smiled shyly at him.

‘Oh, n-no you’re good’

‘Stop looking at me like that’ he laughed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders but you were thankful that you could hide your face and the blush that had taken over your cheeks. ‘When Gee’s gone to bed, do you fancy watching a movie? Just us’

‘Yes please’ you whispered. Excited about the prospect of some alone time with him and with a quick kiss to your head he walked back over to the stove.

You had a few veggies left to chop so you asked him to keep on stirring the sauce whilst you chatted lightly and clearly he got a bit too confident as he went a bit too quickly and slopped some sauce on the side which he quickly cleaned with the nearest cloth.

‘Oh Mase’ you huffed. ‘That's a clean tea towel’

‘Sorry love’ he gulped, looking more guilty than he should but you just took it from him with a smile.

‘It’s fine, between you a Jack I’ve gotten used to it over the years. Must be a bloody boy's thing to stain everything’ you told him as you chucked it by the washing machine. When you looked back at him though he was facing away from you however his neck was red and you could see his shoulders were tense. ‘Mase? You alright?’

‘Yeah fine, I’m gonna go set the table’ he told you and without another look he was gone.

In typical Mason fashion he fell asleep watching your movie that night so you coaxed him onto your chest so he could get comfortable but you also used it as a bit of an excuse just to look at him for a bit. His adorable cheek squished as he laid there with his lips slightly open and you had to stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him. Shaking yourself out of your trance as a wave of confusion rolled over you and you sat there blankly looking at the screen.

This new found need to comfort him and love on him was overwhelming but you hadn’t vocalised anything yet and you knew you needed a big gossip session with Ell before you took any next steps. The kissing part was new though and you couldn’t tell if you were thrilled or horrified by it.

You couldn't stop thinking about him. Flicking through all the pictures he’d sent your way lately when you were in bed every night but the more you thought about being with him and everything it would entail, the more you realised it might not work.

You didn’t even know if he still felt the same after all these years. Yes you’d overheard him talking to Gee over a year ago but that was then and this was now. It has been years and you’d never shown him any inkling of wanting anything more, at least you didn’t think you had, and you were pretty sure he’d told her that he was learning to move on. He must have done that by now surely?

You were snapped out of your thoughts soon enough as you heard your front door being opened. It was a Wednesday so that meant Mason was picking Gee up from daycare and they were back for their dinner.

‘Hello love!’ Gee called excitedly as soon as she saw you. Storming over as quickly as her little legs would carry her and you chuckled at Mason's bemused face as you picked her up for a cuddle.

‘Love? Have I missed something?’ He asked but little did he know he was at fault for it.

‘She’s been calling me that for the last few days. I think she’s picked it up from you’ you told him. Kissing her cheek softly as you placed her on the counter so you could carry cooking.

‘Oh Gee’ he laughed standing in front of her and she sent him a giddy smile as he trapped her in between his arms that were leaning on the side. ‘That's mummy, not love’ he explained but you weren’t sure she was even listening properly. ‘She’s my love, but your mummy’

My love.

You hoped he didn’t hear the little gasp that fell from your lips at his words or the way you almost dropped your spoon into the sauce you were stirring but thankfully when you finally looked up Mason was still talking away with Gee and seemed none the wiser.

‘Do you think you could help me out for Gee’s party?’ You asked, trying to change the subject so you didn’t fixate on what had just been said and even though he was playing it cool, you could tell he was happy you’d asked him.

‘Of course, what do you need me to do?’

‘Well I was hoping you could take her out for the morning? Ell said she’d come over and help me decorate and then you could bring her over when it’s all done? Like for the big surprise?’

‘Oh thank god, I thought you wanted me to blow balloons up and as much as I love her I don’t think I’ve got the lungs for it’ he chuckled. ‘Oh wait, I thought your parents were coming up, do you not want them to have her?’

‘No that's a surprise too’ you nodded. ‘If she knows they’re here then she’ll be suspicious. I want her to see everyone all together’

‘Okay, yeah’ he smiled, nodding enthusiastically before turning back to Gee so he could plan their day together.

When the morning of the party came Mason was over early to get Gee and once she was all packed up they were off and out. Mason promising he’d message you with updates as soon as he could but you weren’t expecting one half an hour later no matter how cute it was.

You and Ell were the dream team. Decorating your house in record time with giant animal balloons and bunting that looked like giant leaves. You were going for a jungle theme as you’d managed to pass down your love of the outdoors to her, and the most important decoration was the giant giraffe balloon that you had tied to the back of her chair.

Gem the giraffe was Gee’s favourite toy. Her little comfort animal she’d had from the day she was born and she was rarely seen without it much to Mason's delight. Telling you all the time it was a good job he’d found it in the gift shop and it was the best £15 he’d ever spent but clearly today he was out to spend even more.

That's how most of the morning went. You and Ell working away as Mason sent you lots of updates and you wondered if it was because he was feeling nervous about his first time looking after her properly. He had her once a week all on his own but this was for a lot longer and you could tell he was worried about doing something wrong.

Soon enough guests were arriving. Noah and Tommy were the first to arrive as they’d been to pick up the cake and after your parents arrived you couldn’t contain your emotions. It had only been two months since you’d seen them but you missed them terribly being so far away and you always felt whole when they were up here with you.

You didn’t invite too many people, just a few of Gee’s little friends from daycare with their parents and Mason asked if Luke and his kids could pop by so you were excited to have them there. Luke had always been a sweetheart to you and you were excited to meet Anouska and talk to her about the little one she was currently growing.

You’d packed Gee a dress in her bag and you asked Mason to put her in just before they got back. Hoping that the pair of them could avoid staining it if she didn’t have it on all day and as you watched them walk up the drive hand in hand, you couldn’t contain your laugh as he’d kept on her new trainers with it.

She looked adorable though and when Mason walked her into the living room her face was a picture. Not knowing where to look as there were so many of her favourite people in one room shouted surprise but she was straight to you so she could show you her new shoes.

‘Very nice, baby’ you giggled. Kissing her cheek and wrapping her up in a big hug before everyone else came over to say hello and hand her a present. You could have cried from the soft little fank yews she gave everyone and the big smile she kept sending your way. Knowing she wasn’t 100% sure what was going on but she was happy nonetheless.

Gee wasn’t exactly shy, but you could see how much she loved being the centre of attention. Eventually going to join her little friends from daycare along with Luke’s kids so you could start the party games and before you could even think Mason was by your side with the gift you’d wrapped for pass the parcel. His phone already synced to your speaker and you could see Luke laughing at the way he seemed so into everything out of the corner of your eye.

‘Go sit next to her, I’ll do this bit’ he smiled and you quickly kissed his cheek before joining her. Only noticing around halfway through that he had a massive kiss mark on his cheek from your red lipstick but when Lewis turned up he was quick to wipe it off whilst teasing him.

Throughout the afternoon he was the perfect host. Constantly clearing up any mess he saw and making sure all the snack bowls were full. Doing the rounds and making sure both him and Gee got to speak to everyone and you almost lost it when you walked into the kitchen to find him wearing your favourite pink washing up gloves. He was so in the zone as he scrubbed away he didn’t see you looking at him until you approached and you knew his cheeks were burning.

‘Mason? What are you doing?’ You giggled but he just looked at you shyly before going back to washing up.

‘Just getting some of this done so there’s not loads to do later’

‘I didn’t invite you here to wash up’ you laughed. ‘Come on, I know you love a bit of pin the tail on the elephant’

‘You’re not wrong’ he laughed, placing the final plate into the drying rack and peeling your gloves off. ‘Come on let’s 1v1, I bet I’ll beat you’

‘You haven't changed, have you?’

‘Never have, never well’ he told you proudly as he swung an arm around your shoulders and you felt your love for him consume you.

‘Good’ you whispered, the pair of you seemingly getting lost in each other's eyes a bit but Mason ruined the moment by flicking your nose playfully before roughing your hair up.

‘I really like the theme you’ve gone with’ he told you as you walked back to join the rest of the party. ‘Reminds me of the parties we had as kids’

‘I just wanted her to have good memories like we did growing up’ you told him and you hoped she would. She seemed happy enough running around with all her friends whilst your mum fed her snacks every so often and as you looked around the room you knew you were right where you both needed to be.

‘Well with you as her mummy I know she will’ Mason told you. Snapping you out of your thoughts quickly but your eyes welling up immediately at his words. ‘I’m serious y/n. She’s the sweetest, funniest little girl and you should be so proud of yourself. You’re doing such a good job I promise’

‘Oh Mase’ you blubbed. Not realising how much you needed to hear that from someone and you quickly covered your face with your hands so he couldn’t see you cry.

‘Well that wasn’t meant to happen’ Mason laughed. Pulling you into his body so he could hold you tightly to chest as he rubbed your back.

‘Sorry, it just means a lot you know’ you told him and he nodded. ‘In the interest of saying thank you, then I need to tell you the same. I didn’t realise how much I needed someone until you got here and I appreciate everything you do for the both of us. I love you so much, Mase. You know that, right?’

‘And I love you just as much’ he told you softly. Wondering if he still meant it in the way he used to but his eyes were blurry from his tears and you couldn’t tell.

Once the pair of you were presentable again you re joined the party. Mason beating you at pin the tail on the elephant which he was more than happy about and you knew when it came down to just the pair of you for musical chairs he let you win. You still took it though and lauded it over him for the next hour until you needed his help. Taking his wrist and pulling him into the kitchen where he was looking at you with a surprised smile.

‘I’m gonna do the cake now’ you told him. ‘Would you grab Gee and sit with her at the table so I can bring it over?’

‘Yeah? You sure’ he asked with a coy smile. This felt like a big deal to him, like he was the special person who got to share this moment with her but you knew there was no one else you wanted sat with her. ‘Do you not want to sit with her? Or your parents?’

‘No I want you to do it’ you nodded. ‘I’ll only be a few minutes so be quick’ you told him and he was off before you could say anything else.

Once the candles were lit, you quickly chanced a look around the corner to make sure everyone was ready but the sight in front of you made your heart flutter. Mason sat to the table with Gee in his lap but all the other kids were around him as they listened to him telling them all they had to sing really loud so the whole street could hear them and they were nodding excitedly as they got themselves ready.

You gave a quick nod to your mum. Letting her know it was okay to turn the light off before you came in with the cake. The whole room singing to your baby as she clapped along with pure joy written all over her face but when you caught eyes with Mason you were smiling even wider. Popping the cake down in front of her as Mason was trying to teach her how to blow the candles out but she didn’t quite have the lungs for it. Both you and Mason helping her out in the end but you made out it was her and she was pretty proud of herself.

You cut up the cake so there was enough to go around and by the time everyone had a bit Gee happily munching away at hers so you joined her at the table with Mason.

‘Mumma, you wanna come sit with Gee?’ Mason asked but there was no way you were interrupting the perfect scene in front of you.

‘No it’s okay, you carry on’ you smiled enjoying watching him feed her little spoonfuls of cake but as the pair of you began to chat a little more he slowed down and she began to huff. His multitasking skills clearly failing him at this moment and you covered your mouth as you smiled at them.

‘Quick Masey, more’ she told him. Tapping his wrist gently to get him to speed up but he just laughed and rested his head on top of hers.

‘Sorry baby’ he chucked. Rolling his eyes at you at her sassiness but he sped up. Smiling as she hummed in satisfaction and rubbed her tummy like it was the best thing she’d ever eaten but you could tell Mason was missing out so you loaded up a fork and held it up to him. His cheeks flaming as he caught onto what you were offering him but he gladly accepted. Eyes boring into yours as he wrapped his lips around your fork and the moment was more intense and intimate that you could have imagined.

‘I can see why you want me to be quick now, Gee. That's some good cake, huh?’ He asked her, looking away as you coughed awkwardly and began to tidy around you as not to arouse suspicion as you knew you were blushing a little bit. You could see his eyes following you as he smiled softly though and the next time you looked his way you shared a soft giggle.

It was around an hour later when the last guests started to leave. Only Mason, Lewis and your parents remaining as you tidied up the last few plates but Gee was eager to play with her presents so you all sat In the living room

‘Hey, Gee? You wanna come get the surprise with me?’ Mason asked quietly as he sat with her on the floor. She was currently dressed in the vet dressing up set one of her little friends had gotten her as she gave her Gem a check up but with an excited giggle, Mason led her to the back room where she emerged moments later with a bag almost as big as her.

‘What’s this?’ You laughed. Taking it from her before she fell but as soon as you spotted the red box you knew what was going on.

‘Fank you for birfday mumma’ she laughed, clapping her hands as you took the box out of the bag.

‘That’s okay baby’ you beamed. Kissing her cheek as she pulled you in for a hug but soon enough she sat next to you in anticipation. Your eyes flying up to Masons immediately who sent you a quick wink and you dived back in to pull out the green Nikes that matched Gee’s and Masons. ‘Really Mase?’ You laughed but he just shrugged.

‘What? Can’t have you feeling left out can we’ he joked. ‘Are they okay?’

‘They’re perfect, thank you’

‘Thats okay’ he beamed. ‘I got you a little something else actually, come with me?’ he asked as he held his hand out to help pull you up and you practically ignored everyone else as you followed him into your kitchen.

You spotted it straight away. Sitting in your windowsill proudly in a new pot and your heart was hammering in your ears at the sight of it.

‘Is that an orchid?’

‘Yeah, I don’t know what happened to yours but I saw it was missing the other day so I replaced it’ he told you proudly and you felt your eyes sting.

‘Oh Mase’ you pouted. ‘I accidentally killed the other one’

‘Oh’ he laughed. Wrapping an arm around you so he could pull you flush against him and once he had you hid yourself on his shoulder. Feeling his lips on to crown of your head as he peppered small kisses there and the action made you hold him even tighter. ‘Consider this a second chance then’

Thats all you were asking for, all you needed from him.

A second chance.

To tell him how you really felt now. That he was your one and that you were sorry you never saw it sooner and if he let you, you’d make him so so happy.

You were just praying that moment would come for you soon.

Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13

[yullalightk]

WOTFI IS HERE!!!!!!! WHOOO!!!!!!

I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE! But! I watched it after the livestream countdown, and, BOI! Do I have a lot to say!! and I'll make a part 2 of the WOTFI review cause, I don't think I'll be able to fit everything in one post. And with a lot of school projects on the line. So, I'll work on pt 2! and post it tomorrow!

!Also, spoiler warning!

So... we good? Okay! strap in!!

First off the thumbnail looks AMAZING!!!!! It really got me excited as soon as I woke up at 1 in the morning lmao😂

As soon as I watched it I was actually surprised they decided not to go with the horror route like in the trailer.. But personally, I'm not gonna complain I mean that should've been expected imo.

Also, the poster is soo fricking cool!!!! Like, I can't get enough of this art style and THE WAY IT WAS ANIMATED WAS LIKE A MOVIE INTRO!!!! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!✨

The intro/Puzzles' backstory

So, I'm glad that Mr Puzzles gave us a more clearer explanation to his backstory. Even though it was something a lot of us knew already. None the less it was nice! I'm curious about the mother though, like, what was she like to Puzzles? Was she someone who didn't believe in her son's dreams as well? Or maybe someone who encouraged him to keep trying? Idk honestly, but maybe we'll get that answer in next year's WOTFI!

I also don't think he just sat in his room all day to adulthood, maybe he left his home to chase his dream but failed on multiple occasions. (Kinda like in the series where he tries to kill the crew but fails all the time) or, he watched TV all day as a coping mechanism. Trying to escape the cruelty of the world he lived in.

Also, wdhm when he said "The rest is history" like, we need more. Like how you got godlike powers? maybe that'll be explored more in WOTFI 2025!

Side note: Leggy's face when she dropped little Puzzles was funny for some reason help! IT HAD NO REASON TO BE THIS FUNNY!!😂😂

HE SWORE!!!!! YESS!!!!!!!! I swear he needs to let his anger out more, You gotta give kudos to him for enduring Mario's chaos😂

The casts!

I really LOVED the character designs! I can see how they are freaks now!

My all time favorites are SMG3, Bob, and Karen! They're designs stick out the most in the cast and I do like how they are all under Puzzles' control, like the PV movie!

Wish Saiko had more screen time though, I'm just a little disappointed at that. They could've done something interesting for her. Heck, they even gave the rest of the main cast more screen time than her.

But, maybe we'll see that in the next WOTFI? Hold up- wait a sec, I'm seeing a pattern of sorts... are, the stuff that felt lackluster in the 2024 WOTFI coming back as something better in WOTFI 2025?? That could be a possibility. I might make a theory on that, but hopefully when I'm not busy.

Side note: I swear this episode made me ship Mario and Puzzles so much!!😂😂 I mean- It's just hilarious to me!

Like when he said "Dear Mario" I know he hates him but like the way he says it made it feel like he likes him, or just toying with him!! Marware fans are eatin' good today! And he also complimated Mario on his performances on the fire perfomance!!! I know... he was doing what a judge does, try say something nice to the performers. But! That won't stop me from shipping them! And don't forget! Mario also still wanted to stay despite the hell Mr Puzzles put them through, in the rap Mario still wanted to have some fun in the amusment park! But, also glad he attacks him when Puzzles harms Mario's friend. And can be scared of him sometimes.

Now listen, I know he was trying to get Mario back so he won't ruin his show again but to me it also looks like he wants Mario to pay attention to him! kinda like a yandere😂😂 I'm just letting Marware infect my brain at this point haha.. it's becoming a curse.

Anyway that's part 1 for now. Part 2 will hopefully come out tomorrow as well, and I also have some projects to do so I know I said I will post every Saturday but that may be a little difficult, I'll get part 2 out tomorrow and I really hope that'll be the end of my review of this year's WOTFI!

Thanks for reading! hope ya'll enjoyed my WOTFI 2024 review pt 1.

[bingbongsupremacy]

Almonds

Pairing: Abby Anderson x reader

Warnings: I can't think of any, lmk if I missed one.

Summary: Abby shares the last bit of her food with you when times get tough.

*Not Proof Read*

This one isn't my fav guys.

ABC List TLOU Masterlist

*****

" Are you sure the QZ is up here? " I ask, shivers running down my spine. I shrink into my dirt covered jacket, seeking any sort of warmth. My legs ache, a mixture of the cold and the distance. My feet more and more frozen with each step.

" It should be. " Abby shouts over the raging wind.

For a moment, I think I hear doubt in her voice. It could be the wind though. I'm not sure.

Her eyes are the only things visible on her face, everything else covered by a snow covered scarf. She covers her eyes, trying to see through the blinding white. " Fuck. " She seethes, frustration sizzling off of her tense body. She turns to face me. " I-I don't fucking know where we're going. I can't see anything. I think we need to find shelter until this storm clears up. "

Her voice is mumbled and her barely visible eyes avoid mine. Like she's embarrassed of possibly leading me wrong.

" I agree. " I nod stiffly. " I'm freezing my ass off. " I look around us, trying to see anything that could keep us safe. " Over there! " I point a blurry dark object a few feet away. " I think that might be a building. "

I grab ahold of Abby's arm, dragging her in the direction of the object. As we grow closer, the object becomes more clear. It's a wall. With Abby's arm still tightly secure in my left hand, I plant my other hand against the wall. Carefully, we follow the wall further down the street.

Finally we stumble across a faded door.

I try opening it.

Of course it's stuck. I let out frustrated groan.

" Let me get it. " Abby gently pushes me out of the way. She pulls a small tin box out of her bag. She quickly takes off her gloves before moving closer to the door. She takes out a few tiny tools, wiggling them around in the key hole. She twists the door handle and the door swings open from the force of the wind.

Abby moves to the side, letting me get inside before closing the door tightly behind her.

As soon as the door is closed, the noise dies down. I turn on my flashlight, also pulling out my knife in case something is in here.

Abby gestures at me to search the left side of the abandoned shop while she goes right.

The store is ransacked. I'm not sure how they got in here, but it's completely trashed. Clothes are spilled all over the floor along with shards of glass and mysterious stains.

Thankfully the store is clear.

I feel my shoulders start to relax as I walk back the direction I came from.

Abby sits in the corner of the shop. Abby is hidden from the window by a few racks of clothes. Her pack is against the dusty wall, her bottle of water leaning against it.

The room is mostly dark, the only light coming from a few windows on the other side of the shop. I take a seat next to Abby, trying to warm my pain filled hands.

Abby sets a thick, fluffy jacket on my lap. " Found this for you. " She mutters.

I send her a grateful smile. " Thank you. " I pull the coat on top of my other jacket, zipping it up the best I can. Before I can think about it, my stomach lets out an angry growl.

I pull open my wet backpack, shuffling the contents around. I pull out a small clear package. Empty.

I was hoping we would get to the QZ by now. Looks like I'm gonna have to wait until tomorrow. Hopefully we can get out of here soon.

" You hungry? " Abby's voice cuts through the air.

I turn towards the muscular woman. " Uh-Yeah. It's alright though, I'm sure we'll find something soon. " I say, mostly trying to comfort myself.

Abby pulls out a small blue package. It's folded neatly so the contents don't spill. When she opens it up, the words 'Blue Diamond' are revealed. " Here, take a few. " She offers.

I shake my head. " I can't take your food, Abs. " I should've rationed better, this is my fault. " I'll be fine. We'll get food soon. " I gently push her hand away.

Abby insists. " Please, just take some. You're right, we'll find more soon. That's why it doesn't matter if I save it all. " She grabs my hand, sending a fluttering sensation through my stomach.

Abby drops a handful of almonds into my palm. " Eat. Please. "

Her eyes show a hint of worry.

" Are you sure? " I ask, feeling guilty about taking her food.

" Yes, " She nods. " I've never been so sure. Eat. "

Abby watches as I place an almond in my mouth, savoring the salty flavor.

Abby pops an almond into her mouth, leaning against the wall next to me. For a few minutes we sit in silence. The sound of howling wind pounds against the windows.

" Thank you, again, Abby. " I look at the woman.

" Of course. Anything for you, "

[lemoncrushh]

Cubicle // 4) Anticipation

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 925

Friday // Roni

It's Friday morning and I'm feeling refreshed because for once I slept like a baby. This time I was smart. As soon as I crawled under the covers last night I masturbated thinking about Harry. Then I fell right to sleep.

Harry and I had a nice lunch yesterday. It was lovely weather so we walked to the end of the block to Cafe Meringue and sat outside. He made jokes as we people watched, and once he made me laugh so hard I had to excuse myself to the ladies' room. I really enjoyed his company, and I was thrilled that this was just a prelude to tonight's date.

The idea that there was a possibility of Harry kissing me goodnight was titillating and overwhelming. When we got back to the office and separated to our respective cubicles, I let my mind wander to the thought until I was jerked back into reality by Gerard who asked me to type something for him.

The rest of the day's tasks kept me busy and before I knew it, it was time to leave. I didn't see Harry again, but when I was sitting on the couch eating leftovers and watching Friends reruns, I got a text from him.

Lunch again tomorrow?

My inner teenager squealed as I replied.

Mr. Styles, you're going to get sick of me before we even have our first date.

His next text had me biting my lip.

I doubt that.

I pondered what to say when he texted again.

If if makes you feel better, we can consider today our first date. So by the time we go out tomorrow night, it will already be our third.

I giggled as I wrapped a strand of hair around my finger.

I'd like that.

So yes to lunch?

Yes.

Harry

Yes. I must have stared at the word for an hour. Three little letters, but they aroused me so much. I wanted to kick myself for not calling her instead. I might have been lucky enough to hear her say it over the phone in her sexy voice. Yes.

I played it cool yesterday at lunch. I was a gentleman, but didn't overdo it. I offered to buy her meal, but she insisted she pay for her own. I cracked some jokes which she laughed at. Like a genuine laugh, not the fake laugh that some girls do because they think the chap will like them better. On the walk back to the office, I kept my hands in my pockets merely to keep myself from touching her. I wanted to wrap my arm around her waist or even hold her hand as juvenile as that sounds. But I knew neither would be appropriate. Damn, this woman is actually making me hold off on the things I really want to do. Hopefully, all that will change tonight.

Okay, I'm not a total wanker. I think I know how to treat a lady. I'm not going to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. But let me say this. Anything she is willing to do, I'm all for it. I know I haven't even known her a week yet, but I've spent almost every waking moment fantasizing about her in some sort of sexual position. I can't get her out of my mind.

Like right now, I'm supposed to be working on a report for a client, but instead I'm anticipating lunch with Roni. There's not really that many places to eat within walking distance, so I'll probably have to take her somewhere in my car. The thought of her sat next to me, her long legs and tight skirt against the leather seat is enough to give me a boner.

I haven't seen her yet this morning. I must have missed her in the parking lot because I spotted her car when I pulled in. I hoped maybe I'd catch her in the break room, but the only people I saw when I walked in were Gerard and his salesman buddy whose name escapes me, so I quickly got my tea and returned to my desk.

Roni

Shit. Shit, shit shit! I can't fucking believe this.

When Greta returned to her office and I finally had a moment alone in my cubicle, I texted Harry. I could already feel his disappointment before I even sent it.

Harry, I'm so very sorry. I have to cancel lunch today. There's a sales luncheon that I had to organize, but I had no idea I have to be present.

I gnawed at my fingernails as I waited for his text. Instead, my phone rang.

"Harry, I'm —" I began when I answered it.

"It's okay," Harry interrupted. "Can't say I'm not disappointed. I was looking forward to it. At least we still have tonight."

"Yes, definitely," I assured him.

"Hopefully you won't cancel on me."

Ugh, my heart ached. "No, never, I promise!"

"Alright then," Harry voiced in his low sexy tone. "I'll give you a call later to get your address."

"Sounds lovely," I replied.

"Have fun at your luncheon," he teased.

"Fuck, Harry," I groaned under my breath. "This is going to be torture. I might as well bring a pillow and take a nap."

Harry chuckled as we said our goodbyes. Then I looked at the time on my phone. 11:52AM. Eight hours until our date. I took a deep breath and made my way towards the conference room, hoping the rest of the day would fly by.

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[pbandjesse]

I am exceedingly tired this evening. My head kind of hurts too. I think if I had a little caffeine I would be okay but no such luck this evening. Working at an event with no soda somehow. That's alright. I still have had a nice day.

I slept kind of bad last night. I had very intense dreams and woke up a few times a little worked up. But it was fine. I had a nice and slow morning to look forward to.

Though I forgot to turn off my 7am alarm. Oops.

I did go back to sleep though until 9. When I woke up for real my nose was so dry. Which was not comfortable at all. James was there though and gave me a big hug and it helped.

I would go and shower and wash my hair. James made the bed and brought my puff quilt downstairs so I could work on that after breakfast.

James brought me breakfast in our bedroom while I finished getting dressed. They hung out with me for a while but soon they were heading to the museum to help with a Spanish speaking event. I was proud of them and happy for them when they told me how happy they were to be able to help.

I would spend the morning working on adding the next row of my blanket. I hope to add a few more rows. I will have to pick up more maroon and grey to continue the pattern.

I also worked on finishing fixing the penguin and I think he came out great.

I would hang out for an hour but I decided to leave here at 1130. I had a sandwich and then I was off. I packed a little food for later. And headed to go and pick up our pottery.

I went to amazing glaze and got our three pieces. I will get photos of them tomorrow. But they looked so good! I also just had a really nice conversation with the girl who helped me pack up the pieces about what we were inspired by. And it was just really nice.

I walked over to whole foods and got pasta salad and juice. The pasta salad was half off so I got two of them. And then made my way to awah.

It would be a productive class. We were doing coil vases. So they would make the vases this week and we'll paint them next week. I got everything set up and found some paper plates so we could better organize the work and hopefully none of them get lost.

The teen class was smaller but it was still nice. We did have a sort of tense moment when one student got upset at another stimming by making noises and told them to shut up, which lead to another student yelling at the person saying shut up and how that wasn't nice and we are in a safe place and then that student was like. I have autism. And the other one was like I have autism!! And I was just like. You all have autism that's what's the class is??? I just told the one student to turn her headphones up if the sound bothered them. It's silly looking back at it but it was a little bit tense.

The adult class was fun though. Brian bought a big box of snacks for everyone which was so sweet. And everyone did an excellent job making their pieces and they seemed to really enjoy this one. There were lots of smiles.

We worked through to the very end of the hour. Me and Naomi slowly cleaned up over the last twenty minutes. And so when our last student left we were able to basically walk out with them.

I would drive to the museum. And even with traffic and a road closure I was there by 330.

James was here waiting for me. And teased me about the park job I did but I would move the car soon anyway. I was happy to see them. And I got to see them brainstorming the new Spanish map. Turns out it's hard to translate idioms! Puns! But they will work through it I'm sure.

I had some nice conversations with Rosia about baby. About how I'm feeling. I am just really glad I can eat pretty regularly again. I do wish I could feel her moving more. But tomorrow we have an appointment so I can get my fears helped.

I went and found Jesse and he let me know that we had a party tonight. Not a wedding. Not a corporate event. A straight up party. They brought a ton of couches and wouldn't be using any of our tables. They also have 11 security people. Wild.

It was slow to set up. I would spend a lot of time at the desk just making sure I'm visible. I hope everyone is having fun. I have been hanging out at the desk and knitting and watching videos.

But man am I tired. I tried to make sure I could help as much as I could. Getting things like lights and power strips and such set out so that no one would feel lost. And they would know where I was if something was needed.

I would like to lay down. But I still have at least 4 hours until I can go to sleep. And that's if clean up goes well. I really really hope it does. I am nervous because this is a new caterer and I am just not sure if it will go smoothly. But I really hope it does.

I hope that you all have a good night. I hope you sleep well. Take care of eachother. And be kind. I love you all. Good night!

[purplefangirl42]

Keep You In Sight

Summary: Brasso wants you to stay safe, and stay where he can see you.

Pairing: Brasso/Fem!Reader

A/N: This is a birthday gift for my beloved friend @sherwood-forests 💜 A sequel to the other Brasso piece I wrote for her called "Port in the Storm". Takes place during the events of the Andor Season 1 Finale.

Tags/Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Fluff, Slight Angst

Divider by @saradika

The rain pattered against your roof, the sound echoing through your whole house as you sat by the window looking out into the street. You hoped it would let up soon and wouldn’t continue to be like this tomorrow. The last thing you all needed was to have to trudge through mud. This was going to be hard enough as it was.

Brasso had stopped by to let you know what the plan was going to be for the next day. The Empire had put all sorts of stipulations in place as to what could be done and what couldn’t. They had said only 40 people could be present, which you knew would never hold up. Anyone who knew Maarva, which was almost everyone, would be there. You were sure of it.

Before he had left, Brasso had given you a quick peck on the cheek before quickly escaping into the rain to head home. Things had been a bit awkward since the first time he had kissed you. Despite the feelings rushing through the two of you, despite the first step already having been taken, you were both at a loss about where you stood. All you knew for certain was that you cared about him so much that your heart ached in his absence. That single peck had sent a shock down to your toes that you could still feel hours later. 

You shivered and wrapped your arms around yourself, taking one final glance out at the rain before turning away from the window and walking towards your bedroom. You knew sleep wasn’t likely with how wired you felt, but the sooner you at least tried to sleep, the sooner tomorrow would come and you could all say a proper goodbye to Maarva and hopefully move on as a community.

A knock at your door the following morning grabbed your attention from where you were putting the finishing touches on your appearance for the day. You walked over and opened the door to reveal Brasso standing on the other side.

“Can I come in?” 

You stepped aside and gestured for him to enter. You were surprised that he wasn’t in his uniform yet, and even more surprised that Bee wasn’t with him. 

“Is something wrong?” you asked. “What’s going on?”

Brasso stopped, his gaze facing the interior of your place rather than you. You could see the tension rippling through his shoulders, even through his clothing. Moving around him to stand before him, you placed your hand on his arm gently.

“Brasso?”

“He came back.”

You felt your brow furrow in confusion as you tried to figure out what he meant. Who had come back? After a few moments of contemplation, you realized exactly who he was talking about.

Cassian.

He must have heard about his mother’s passing and come back to pay his respects, which was the last thing he should have done. Everyone would be better off if he stayed away and never came back, at least while the Empire had a presence on Ferrix.

“Is he insane? He’s going to get arrested, or even worse, killed. Did you meet with him?”

Brasso nodded, still avoiding your gaze. You felt anger and frustration bubbling up inside you at his confirmation. It was bad enough for Cassian to put himself at risk, but the fact that he continued to put others at risk was even worse. You bit your lip in an attempt to keep the angry words you wanted to shout from escaping.

“You’re upset, I can tell,” Brasso said, finally looking at you. “You always bite your lip like that when you get mad.”

Your glare must have been enough to confirm his suspicions. Brasso sighed and stepped towards you, taking your hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“It’s alright. Nobody saw us.”

“You don’t know that,” you hissed, trying to pull your hand from his grip. “We still don’t know what’s happened to Bix. I don’t want to lose you too. Which is exactly what will happen if you do something stupid.”

Brasso refused to let go of your hand, tightening his grip and pulling you towards him. You struggled slightly, but eventually gave into his wishes and let him pull you to him. Once you were close enough, he released your hand and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against him.

The awkwardness was nowhere to be found, only the warmth that had always been there. You returned Brasso’s embrace, burying your face in his chest. You could hear his heart beating against your ear, a reassuring sound that you hoped wouldn’t go away anytime soon. The two of you stood together, wrapped in each other’s arms, for several minutes before Brasso finally pulled away from the embrace.

“I should go get ready. I came to get you so we could arrive together. I don’t want you out of my sight when all those Imperials are around.”

“That will be hard since you’ll be marching with the funerary stone. This ceremony is more important than watching me, Brasso. I won’t be in any danger.”

Brasso lifted a hand to caress the side of your face, his eyes boring into yours. His statement about not letting you out of his sight felt a bit more serious than you thought it had originally been intended to be. The feelings bubbling up inside you were overwhelming, forcing you to break away from his intense gaze. You lifted your hand to place it over his.

“We’ll stick together as much as we can, I promise. Now let’s go show these Imperials what Ferrixian loyalty is all about.”

It was early afternoon, much earlier than the time the Empire had allotted, when the first clang of the anvil rang through the town. Everyone had gathered in the streets, preparing for the march down Rix Road. The Daughters of Ferrix and the band stood in their uniforms, ready to begin their trek to the center of town. You stood amongst the other townsfolk, waiting for the signal to begin walking.

“It’s time,” Brasso’s voice said from beside you.

You felt his hand brush softly against yours as he passed, a simple reassuring touch. Remembering his request that you stay where he could see you, you took a place on the edge of the crowd as it began to move, keeping him nearby. 

The band began to play its mournful tune and the entire crowd of gathered people slowly moved down the street in an organized procession. Anyone that wasn’t marching themselves moved out of the way, allowing the crowd to pass unstopped. In the background, you could hear the clang of the anvil every so often, its deep resonating tone blending perfectly with the music of the band.

As the procession got closer to the center of town, you could see a line of troops clad in black blocking the street. The Empire was clearly unhappy with the change of plans and would not allow anything to go further than absolutely necessary. The crowd came to a stop, the music stopping along with it. Your eyes followed Brasso’s form as he walked through the crowd to the front, Bee wheeling along behind him.

Once he reached the front, the stone held in front of him, the band began to play again. Gone was the sorrowful tune they had been playing before, replaced by one much more upbeat. One that spoke of unity. The crowd began to move once again, walking straight towards the awaiting troops. Your voice joined the chant of “stone and sky”, repeating the words over and over with each step.

Just before reaching the wall of shields the Imperials had erected, the band began to turn, forming a circle around Brasso and Bee. Following the lead of the crowd, you line up outside the circle, never letting Brasso out of your sight. You felt his sentiment echo in your heart, feeling that need to keep him before you at all times. Once again, everyone came to a stop and the music came to an end. Those gathered, Ferrixian and Imperial alike, waited silently.

A soft whir sounded before a brilliant blue light shot up into the sky from the holoprojector on top of Bee. A giant image of Maarva Andor stood before the crowd. The sight was enough to pull your gaze from Brasso, wanting to honor the woman you had all gathered to remember, wanting to hear what final words she wanted to say.

You listened intently as the hologram of Maarva spoke. She spoke of the history of Ferrix, of how they had flourished. How everything had changed with the Empire. The fighting spirit you had always admired in her shone brightly in her expression as she told you all to stand firm and to fight against those that would push you down and trod upon you.

A shout pierced the crowd as an Imperial officer pushed his way past the shielded troops towards Bee, pulling his cloak from his shoulders to cover the projector, an attempt to silence Maarva’s call to action. He failed, however, to mute her final words.

Fight the Empire!

At those words, the officer shoved Bee over, knocking him on his side. You barely had time to react before you saw Brasso move forward, kicking the man in the chest and knocking him to the ground. You felt your heart stop as two troopers stepped forward to restrain him from attacking the man further. They didn’t get far before he swung Maarva’s brick at them, hitting one in the face. 

You felt more than heard the yell he let out, surging forward with the crowd towards the line of troops. You had no weapons, but you could feel the energy of the angry crowd pushing you forward, willing you to do something. Willing you to follow Maarva’s call. 

The troops fought back, keeping their shields up to prevent the crowd from getting too far. The loud tones of the anvil sounded above it all, encouraging the townspeople, rallying the fight. After some time had passed, you noticed Wilmon moving closer to the Imperials, his hand in his bag. Before you had a chance to react, he pulled something from it and threw it over the line of troops.

The first explosion nearly knocked you off your feet. The following ones from the grenades reacting did. Your ears rung, all sound around you disappearing. Smoke covered everything and you couldn’t see a thing. Including Brasso. A deep panic settled in your chest as you crawled across the ground, trying to get away from the center of the commotion. Eventually, you reached a wall and braced yourself against it.

Through the haze, you swore you could see a large red shape fighting off ones of white. You had no way of knowing who it was, no way of knowing if Brasso was safe or even if he was still alive. A figure appeared in your field of vision, one clad in red, but not the one you searched for.

“Come on, girl!” Jezzi shouted, pulling you to your feet. “We need to leave!”

You let her guide you into an alley, nearly running into another pair as you ascended the steps. You felt your knees give out and a sob of relief escaped your lips as you saw Brasso dragging Wilmon up alongside him by the collar. With his other hand, he tightly grabbed yours and the four of you ran as fast as you could to the edge of town.

When you reached the shipyard, you found Pegla waiting for you. He had pulled Bee from the chaos and placed him on a ship. Waving erratically, he ushered the rest of you aboard. Jezzi and Brasso worked together with Pegla to get the ship going as you guided Wilmon to sit on the floor of the cargo hold. It wasn’t long before another pair emerged from the edge of the shipyard, moving quickly towards the ship.

Cassian and Bix.

You helped Cassian maneuver the weakened Bix onto the ship and guided her down to sit beside Wilmon. You could hear shouting behind you, but paid no attention to it, hearing only “Gangi Moon” and Cassian’s shout to get you all out of there. Before you knew it, the ship was rising into the air and you, Wilmon, Bix, Jezzi, and Brasso were flying to Maker knows where.

Leaving the two on the floor, you moved towards where Brasso sat panting against the back of the ship. He looked up at you with the most relieved expression you had ever seen cross his face. He reached for you and pulled you down into a tight embrace.

“I thought I lost you,” he whispered into your hair. “I saw you go flying when the second explosion hit and then you disappeared and I couldn’t find you.”

No words could express the relief you felt when you saw him on the stairs, likely the same he felt at that moment if he thought you were gone. Unable to find anything to say, you squeezed your eyes shut and rested against his chest as he rocked you back and forth. You could swear you heard him muttering something else, repeating over and over like a mantra, but you didn’t dare hope he was saying what you thought you heard reach your still ringing ears.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

A/N: Give this a like, comment, and reblog and let me know what you think!

[the-duckless-pond]

Patiently waiting for my grocery order so that I can tuck in and stay in bed for the rest of the day. Today has been super rough and it hasn’t improved.

It started off just fine and normal, but it feels like my meds never truly kicked in or something. I don’t know. Maybe it was the noise. My apartment building felt loud today. One of my neighbors had like 7 kids over earlier and they only left a few hours ago.

The list of things I need to do today is growing. I still need to clean the litter boxes. Easier now that I have a big trash can to put the waste bags in. I have to put ash my groceries and wash my vegetables. I can do that when they arrive. I need to vacuum before the movers bring my furniture tomorrow. Increasingly unlikely to happen as I have been attempting to summon the will to do that since 8am and it is now almost 5pm. But we shall see. Maybe it’ll happen. Maybe I’ll force myself to do it tomorrow.

I can at least move the cat tunnel so that it is out of the way of the movers for tomorrow. I can do that much. And I can turn on the AC and close the windows and put my hoodie back on since that makes me feel safe. I can turn on the white noise machine my mom got me after I found out there were kids here and that should help some. I can lay down when my groceries arrive and tuck in and post my chapter and watch a show and feel safe under my weighted blanket.

Also there is someone living in this building that mistakenly buzzes my buzzer at least once a day. My buzzer does not always work, so that’s a blessing. But I hate it and it makes me super anxious. I would go down there and ask them to stop buzzing my number but I am terrified of doing that and refuse to be perceived by any of my neighbors and wish for total anonymity so. Yeah. That’s a problem that I just have to live with. Maybe they are pressing it on purpose and whoever used to live here would let them in? Maybe it’s an accident and they mean to buzz one of the numbers close to mine? I don’t know. I wish it would stop, though. It’s pretty anxiety provoking. Jarring. Especially when you are not expecting it and you have PTSD. Not pleasant.

I haven’t heard from my best friend in about a week now. I am still texting her updates on my life because that is what I do, but I hope everything is okay. I miss her when she goes quiet like this. Today I can’t remember what I texted her about, but I’m sure I will send at least one more before the day is done. So far they have all been basically updates on the move and how I am feeling since she knows I’ve been struggling.

Update: I have moved positions and now I am camped out in front of the big living room windows. I have to plug my phone in soon so it won’t last long, and I kind of want a fun drink of some sort so I will have to move back near somewhere with an outlet where I can set my drink. Which is a bummer, because I am tired of sitting where I was against the wall and also kind of sore. Maybe I’ll move to the bed. Use the extension cord and plug my phone in and watch my grocery delivery updates like that.

Oh! I did finally make a therapy appointment, though. I haven’t been in like a month. It’s for early next week, at which point I will have internet and my furniture and the rest of my things. And hopefully I will have ordered a real bed by then. I’m starting to get sore from the air mattress. Reminded of the time I was assaulted and, by myself, hauled the entire bed and frame to the dumpster and slept on the floor until I could afford an air mattress. I suppose this is better than that. However that was quite liberating on some level, I do have to admit.

I would feel bad about this getting kind of long but I don’t think anyone reads these or cares, and it’s my diary entry so I’m allowed to make it as long as I want. Tumblr will cut it off below a read more at a certain point anyway.

Trying to decide what kind of fun drink I want. Maybe a smoothie? Or another decaf? I guess I could order dinner and get whatever fun drink the restaurant gives me. Between my agoraphobia and my needing to stock a larger pantry and fridge since now I can cook again after having to do microwave meals for so many years since I didn’t have a real kitchen, I’ve done enough grocery orders this past week that I have a bunch of credits for restaurant orders. Seriously, like $40 credits or something. I don’t know how they work, but that might cheer me up. I’d have to look at my budget to see if I can afford it.

I guess I’ll stop this here. My grocery order is on the way. Once that gets here I’ll figure out dinner and then work on posting my chapter.

[rottiens]

RIGHT it’s so frustrating 😭 it’s a horrible feeling. people look at me like i’m mad when i tell them i don’t like the heat/summer 😵‍💫 it’s just such and overwhelming feeling, that’s the best way i can describe it.

yes! i agree, it’s lovely to watch it from my window, but when i have to be out in it for ages, and my hands get sore bcs they are cold, i just wanna come back home 😭

it is! everything is just so fuzzy, when i watch a show or movie, for example. i really struggle to read the subtitles bcs they are just so blurry 😭 so i’m hoping i can get something sorted out soon!

and thank you sm ! i’ll make sure to be careful<3 i can read close up, but it has to be quite close. it’s when it’s a little further away i start to struggle 🤔 oh yeah i’ve heard of those! i’ve never tried audiobook, but i’ve heard lots of good things about it, so i’ll have to take a look. thank you!

aww thank you! me too 🤍 i went on the swings with her and i can’t stay on them as long as i used too, i get dizzy and tired within like 10 minutes now 😭

ah, so i’m not alone with the caramel, huh? it’s deff not as easy as i thought it was gonna be, and i too haven’t touched it since, but i will deff try again! :3 and thank you! you’re so right, it’s a lot of trial and error, we’ll never learn if we don’t make mistakes 🤝 i’m glad to hear that, thank you, and hopefully i will get better too! i bet you make absolutely delicious dishes 😋

aww thank you sm! i gladly take the hug and send you one back<3 on nooo, i’m so sorry to hear that, it’s really frustrating when that happens 😭 i’m glad you managed to get it going and back on again though!

good luck, good luck! i hope everything goes smoothly, and exactly! having a positive outlook on life attracts positive things:) i hope you’ve had a wonderful day, and i hope tomorrow will be just as lovely for you too! 🤍

i think calling it overwhelming is the more correct word :( it puts me in such a bad mood, i just hate it. at least you can cover yourself from the cold with coats, scarves etc but tell me what do i do about the heat if i can't stand to be in comfortable clothes/shorts etc. no thank you

today it started raining and i got terribly wet (now i'm sneezing) and all i could think about was this conversation >:( i love the rain but it's so annoying when you're outside and it starts raining

and audiobooks >> are very good, I hope you give them a try because I am not exaggerating when I tell you they have changed my life. Plus I feel like I can be more productive, I just listen to them when I'm cooking or doing something else that doesn't require so much attention

and speaking of dishes 🤭 yesterday i made chipotle style burritos and ngl they were not as good as i thought lskd the sauce was so so good, but it's like i told you, it's all about failing and trying again, so even though i was a little disappointed i plan to try again. I cooked shrimp today and they are one of my favorites, I made them in garlic and cream and chefs kiss, I still have a few left over that I plan to make later in the week.

thank you so much for all the nice wishes <3 💋 now I'm just looking forward to read this weekend and relax and enjoy myself on my brother's birthday, the rest of responsibilities I'll be piling up for Monday lol I hope you can enjoy your weekend too my dear.

[jimmycartersufo]

this is me having the Tuesday foh museum employee version of Sunday scaries. I love using tumblr as a sort of diary right now especially when writing my hand causes pain!

the last two weeks of work have been especially rough and this week I have some tough stuff to get through that I'm nervous about but it'll be OK. I just struggled with the unknown. time always moves too quickly this time of year and I'm desperate to hold on to my days off because I am so burnt out. the problem is when you're in between those biweekly checks and you're broke as hell but also it's been pouring down rain. I can't help but feel bad and guilty when I do nothing. I didn't do just nothing, I took care of my mom today and I've rested a lot but it still feels weird and bad.

I'm almost back to being in the green for my sick time. I used up all my sick time and my boss had payroll give me negative sick time which was a life saver. I miss my boss so much. everything has gone to shit without her. but she deserves so much better. clearly. anyway, in a couple weeks I'll start to see actual sick time build up again. and on July 1 I'll get more pto 🤡 but thankfully at least Juneteenth falls on a Wednesday so we will have a three day weekend. The museum won't pay it's workers more or respect their security dept (which is historically and systematically Black) but they will do land acknowledgements if they happen to put up a work by a Native person (aka no permanent land acknowledgement lol) and they'll give us Juneteenth off with pay. oh and back of house gets more pto than foh but I'm not here to list alllllll of my complaints rn. but we as a team are counting down the days so we can have a three day weekend. like yeah holiday pay on a day we already have off (every gov holiday that falls on a Monday) but would rather have a floating holiday for more pto. abyway I should hopefully have some sick time built up in a couple months to take a day off for rest.

falling behind on chores again. desp need to spring clean dust because ofc I have to be a maximalist autistic. still need to wash my beach combing finds from a few weeks ago. still need to hang stuff up. the most I can do is pick up a little. do a load of laundry but share the labor with my husband because we don't have the capacity for either or alone. do dishes maybe. make breakfast, lunch, and John makes dinner. take care of mom which is hard sometimes but more than anythjng it has to be done and I can trick my brain into not being an asshole about it. make the bed but in a more "lazy" way. take care of myself and stick to my barely there routine. medicine with alarms, brush teeth, set out the clothes I want to wear at least a day ahead but two days if possible. shower when it's been too long. lotion on my face and my arms and my legs if I can tolerate it. drink water. try and keep my salt levels up. stretches even if it's in bed. my daily puzzles. learn something new (read an article and or a wiki page).

at least tomorrow we get paid. I have to save money for when we go to an Orioles game soon. need to figure out when and how and where we are viewing the eclipse. grocery shopping. taking care of mom if dad is working late/in traffic. look over what bills are do this check. thankfully we get paid I think three times this month? JK it's may we get three paychecks but thankfully I get paid the week of my mom's birthday!!!!!!

I work on late shift this month. bad because no extra money but good because I am so fucking exhausted. I'm basically a sorta manager without all the manager roles and Def not the pay. but that's basically what I am now. thinking about it makes me sick. I goofed up somewhere to end up here with this responsibility. but also it was happenstance. I understand that. and that I have been masking so well for so long.

it's autism awareness day. I am autistic. I am finally feeling right with that. it's been over a year now, and I've spent that time reflecting on my life and the way I am. I was lucky that my sister has been in programs and I basically knew a guy that knew a guy that knew a guy. but I don't have like, a therapist or anthring to guide me through the realities of hey you're autistic and this is why you think and do xyz. I wish I listened to autistic friends years ago that said hey you're autistic and I was like no not me, I don't do this thing but the thing is a lot of those things I didn't think I did I literally did not understand the questioning which is funny. I can't really think of a good example but like you read a question like do you struggle to make eye contact and irs like yes but only in certain circumstances like when I don't know someone but you don't have the way to answer with nuances so you just say no. not the best example but it's like that. what's so interesting about being diagnosed late is you start to kind a breakdown the safety nets of masking and then it seems like you're faking because you're doing all this stuff not in private anymore, like you're regressing or something and it's like no I was just playing a role.

today for dinner I had chicken nuggets and heinz pickle ketchup and we watched a video about being in wdw on 9/11 and I was like oh

rigut now I'm trying to follow my night routine but I'm so anxious to sleep. I did sleep in really late today after sleeping poorly and then getting up to take care of mom in the morning. I woke up just before noon after going back to bed about nine???? so I'm not very tired. I'm going to go figure out my lunch for tomorrow so I don't worry about it in the am and then I'm going to check the laundry and if it's dry enough get my favorite pair of undies (tomboyx boy shorts) and my favorite pants (green!!) and find a top and then make the bed comfy and then I'm gonna use my new neck massager even though I've probably used it too much today and I hope to find a nice wiki article to read :)))))))

[calamityandme]

Oh man, so update: our AC is officially broken again? Never was fixed really from last time, but was cooler because it wasn’t as hot the past couple days? Who knows.

Our landlord is going to get us a new AC unit either Friday or Monday. Until then, he has leant us a couple box fans to help get air circulating.

It sucks that the house is 83 F. It blows that we have a few more days of this. However, I feel content at the moment.

I’m laying in bed with two fans going at once in my proximity. One large box fan blowing hot air outside, another smaller fan blowing air directly on my face. It’s magical.

Not only do I feel cooler than yesterday, we were given food today! I worked this morning and my boss/friend “S” gave us some of their frozen meals they wouldn’t eat.

We have food! I feel very loved and fortunate. So fortunate to have people in my life who can give me their old food they don’t want or just help me out in ways they don’t realize. It saves us money that we can put directly to paying bills so it means so much.

I want to be a figure like that for other people. Someone who shows love with food and little gifts that make people feel seen and heard. I hope I’m not a charity case sort of friend that people feel forced to give things to me.

I want to return the favor when we are in a better place. Maybe I will bake some things for my friends that helped me out.

Another development, my partner has to get a letter from his old employer stating he hasn’t worked there since January haha. It’s the only thing holding us back from approval to take care of two big bills. One bill we have an impending disconnect notice.

It’s annoying but at least it’s something we can get hopefully soon. We need to get it to them by the end of this week. Fingers crossed his old work is quick with the letter.

I got to eat lunch (my breakfast but at lunch time) with R and her daughter S before I went back home. We ate Culver’s. It’s a very American fast food restaurant. So much cheese, very buttery/greasy buns, but once you try it once you’ll keep coming back.

I got onion rings and a double butter burger. I ate my rings and a couple bites of my burger before deciding to save the rest of it for my next meal. Even though I knew I had food at home I found myself doing it instinctively. Not a bad habit I guess. Leftovers are great.

Now it’s been a couple hours since I got off work and I am still not sure how to spend my time.

Our internet is shut off (not a priority compared to utilities so we’ll pay it once everything else is okay) so I can’t watch anything on a TV, but I can watch media on my phone. My service isn’t the best so sometimes the show or movie I’m watching will buffer for a couple minutes at a time. I can survive lol.

I’ll find something to occupy my time. Maybe another cold bath. I’ll listen to my audiobook from the library.

I’m currently listening to one of my favorites: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender. I listen to it on my phone through Libby the library app. I’m 26% through it. I’ve read it many times but have never actually finished it. I’m hoping to finish it this time.

Update: It’s 85 F at 8 PM lol. I was cool at points when it was closer to 81, but now I am rough. I’m sticky. Humidity has taken my hair and won’t let go. Landlords said they may be able to come over tomorrow to at least start the AC process

[pbandjesse]

Me and James are in the car in Philadelphia! It has been a long day but I got to see Jess and spend time with my husband and things have been great.

I slept pretty well last night. My nose was very runny last night and very stuffy this morning. So it was not. Amazing. But it was fine. I woke up felt pretty good overall.

I had wanted to wash my hair this morning but decided not to. I will do that tomorrow morning. Even if it made me pretty uncomfortable today. I liked my outfit and was in a good mood.

I didn't have anything to make for breakfast so I left here and headed to the museum and got McDonald's for breakfast. I ate in the car. And headed inside to see James.

After I said good morning to James. And went to the back where O'Malley and John were talking. I enjoyed their conversation while I worked on my countdown embroidery. I am really excited for this project.

The group came around 930. And so they went to give their tour. I went to set up my chase for the print shop.

Which was not easy. Whoever did it last sort of messed it up and it felt falling apart. And then the presses themselves were printing right. It was very frustrating. I made it work but there was a lot of cursing.

I hung out with Kaitlyn while we waited for the next program to start. And it was fun gossiping with her. And just talking about life and work. And then the college students started coming in. And they sounded so fun!! Lots of laughing. I was looking forward to the program.

And it would go really well. I was up with my printers. And it was a good time making prints. They were to hard on themselves when things didn't go perfectly. But like, we had fun and we made all the prints we needed.

My store was much different then normal because they were college kids. So we talked more frankly about how the workers would end up in debt and the realities of the time. And I think the had a lot to think about and it was nice talking to them. They had great questions.

Since my job was done I would go and make cans. O'Malley and Kaitlyn would join me and we would have a good time chatting and gossiping. I heard someone call that "giving the field report" and I love that idea. Puts us all on the same page. And it was nice making cans. I haven't done that in a while.

John joined us once he went to check on the presses. I told him all the issues I had been having and he agrees that the plates need to be redone. Hopefully that can get done soon because it's only going to get worse the more it gets used.

At 1 I went to give James a little break at the desk. It was a very busy day and they were pretty tired. So they went for a walk. Brought me a donut back. And I hung out at the desk with them until the group asked if I could watch the lunchroom with their bags until the group came back from the waters edge. They had a lecture about water quality and oysters. So I would chill in there. Jordan would come and join me and told me gossip from a different job. And we talked about our goals for this year.

He also had more fabric for me. Some good cotton stuff. So we would go and take that to the car. Before we went back to the break room and I finished my embroidery for the day! It's the first official day for my countdown project. I hope my embroidery gets better this month. It's nice to have the solid start and end and a good idea. Makes me feel good.

The day slowly wound down. And I went to sit with James until the end of the day. And the it was time to go! We had a long drive.

Jess was having a hard day. And lucky for her we were going to be within 45 minutes of her at James's friend's house for a game night. And so we invited her. And I even made sure they ordered a gluten free pizza because her work has had two pizza parties in the last month that she couldn't participate in and I thought it would mean a lot to her.

The drive out was nice. Though the sun was in my eyes a lot, reflecting on the side mirrors. But I was able to make three squares for my blanket. And enjoyed the podcast James chose. It was a nice ride.

It was very cold when we got there. But we found parking and headed over. There was a lot of people there!! I was surprised. I felt a little bad but I was focused on nothing but my phone, waiting for Jess to let me know she was there. Only a few minutes after us.

James went to get her. I had a piece of pizza. And then she was here. And we were so anti social. Posted up at a table by ourselves. We didn't even talk to Amy of the other girlfriends. We were just very focused on each other. We ate pizza and expanded on all our texting. We are always texting but we don't get the nuance so this was perfect. And eventually I set up a board game since it was technically a game night. And we played a game called "Ticket to Ride" where you try to build a railroad. As all indie games tend to, it has way to many rules, so we modified it a little. But it was so fun. And Jess won by our rules of counting points as we went. And I won if you just tallied the points at the end. So we both won and that was great.

We were there for a few hours. And it was lovely. But me and James still had to go into the city itself to see Noelle and Evan. And so it was time to say goodbye. Hugs all around. And then we were off.

Evan and Noelle's new place is so nice!! A cute townhouse. I would absolutely love living there. And I enjoyed the tour. They also had a couple gifts for us. They got me an excellent calendar made by a local artist and a little kitty paw cup. Super thoughtful. Love those guys.

We spent the next couple hours talking about all our medical nonsense. James accident. Trip ideas. The cats. Art. I love their company. I am so glad we were able to come out and spend time with them. I love how much Evan gets my work and Noelle make some feel very heard.

As it came to be 10 Evan made James so coffee for the road. And we had to say goodbye.

And now we are heading back to Baltimore. We should make it home by midnight. And then we will go right to sleep.

We have off tomorrow. And I think James wants to bike. I want to make stuff. I hope it's just a really nice day.

For you as well. I hope you got to spend time with people you love. Goodnight everyone. Take care of yourself!!

[endless-summer-soldier]

confessions

summary: Bucky can’t find the courage to share his feelings for you, so he gets a little help from an old friend.

pairing: college!Bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption, some profanity

word count: 4k

a/n: this is my submission for @pellucid-constellations love letter writing challenge! this is also my first ever Bucky fic so I hope people like it! I have a few more fics in the works that I will (hopefully) be posting soon. any and all feedback is greatly appreciated :)

“Buck…are you listening?” Steve nudged him.

“What’s that?” he snapped back to his friends.

“Could you be more obvious?” Sam added.

“What?”

“The minute Y/N walks into a room you completely lose focus.”

“That’s not true,” he defended.

“And…she’s heading this way.”

“What?” Bucky panicked, running fingers through his hair. Sam and Steve chuckled as Y/N and Natasha joined them at the table.

“Hello boys,” Y/N said. Natasha planted a fresh pitcher of beer in the middle of the table along with a stack of plastic cups.

“You are the best girlfriend a guy could ask for,” Steve said, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

“I knew there was a reason you kept me around,” she winked at him.

“So what are you guys doing tomorrow night?” Y/N asked.

The boys looked at each other and shrugged, “Probably just hanging out here.”

“Not anymore. Nat and I are hosting a little end of semester party at our place and I expect you all to be there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve said.

“Perfect, party starts at 9! Don't be late. Oh there’s Thor. I’m gonna go invite him,” she said, departing from the table with her beer in hand.

Sam, Steve, and Natasha all looked at Bucky.

“What?” he feigned innocence.

“That was real smooth,” Sam said.

Bucky looked at them all confused until Steve added, “You’re completely in love with this girl and you don’t say one word to her?”

“I’m not in love with her!” he denied, though they all knew he was full of it.

“Buck…” Natasha sighed, “I’m doing the best I can to help you out here but you’re not helping yourself.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to her.”

“She’s a person. Just talk to her like you would anyone else.”

“But she’s not anyone else. She’s…perfect.”

“Oh here we go again,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Buck, we’re about to graduate. You’re gonna miss your shot,” Steve added.

“I’ve seen you pick up women before, you know what you're doing,” Sam commented.

He put his head in his hands, “I know, but Y/N’s just different. I’ve never had it this bad before.”

“You need to shoot your shot or else you’re going to regret it,” Sam said. Bucky nodded his head, knowing he was right.

“Talk to her tomorrow night. Have a few drinks to loosen you up and just go for it,” Natasha advised.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Just tell her how you feel,” Nat said.

“Think it over tonight before you go to bed,” Steve suggested.

Bucky hastily agreed and while the conversation shifted, he felt like he needed to sort out his thoughts. He finished what was left of his beer in one sip, “I’m gonna head back, I’ll see you guys at home.”

It was a short walk from the campus dive bar to Bucky’s apartment and his head was spinning. He kept trying to rehearse what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. He walked into the apartment and dropped his keys on the counter top, immediately heading to the fridge for another beer. He thought the alcohol might help him relax and sort through his feelings. Yet the words felt all jumbled up in his head. Then an idea hit him. When Bucky was a kid and he argued with his sister, his Ma always made both of them write a letter to each other to get their feelings out and sort through why they were so upset. That always gave him clarity on the situations, so what better way to organize his thoughts now. He grabbed a notebook and sat on the couch with his beer, determined to get his thoughts out.

Dear Y/N,

Since the first day I met you, I knew you were special. I’ve never had trouble talking to girls before, but with you I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing, so I tend to keep quiet. I have never been able to get you out of my head no matter how hard I try and I’m worried that I’ve missed my chance with you. Y/N, you are truly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, but more than that, you are exactly the kind of girl I’ve been looking for. I love that you get just as worked up as Sam when we’re watching a sports game. And I love that you treat every single person you meet with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it. I love the witty remarks you make seemingly without thinking. I love that you can answer almost every question on Jeopardy before the contestants even buzz in. I love that you are always doing things for others before taking care of yourself. Everything you do is perfect in my eyes. You are the type of girl I want to take home to introduce to my parents, and they would adore you. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’ve always had a huge crush on you and I’d be the luckiest guy in the world if you’d agree to a date with me.

Forever yours,

Bucky

He read the letter over and over again, trying to find ways to improve his words or add to it, but he ultimately grew tired. He ripped the page out of his notebook and folded it in half, writing Y/N’s name on the folded page. He finished his beer and retired to his room as he tried not to worry about tomorrow night’s party.

X

“Bucky!” Sam called, knocking on his door, “You almost ready?”

Bucky opened the door for his roommate. “Yeah I think so.” He looked himself over once more in the mirror, ran his fingers through his hair, and nodded.

“You look great. You know what you’re gonna say to her?”

“I wrote some of it out last night.”

“Let me see.”

“No way, it’s personal.”

“Come on man, I’m just trying to help you.”

“Dude, it’s fine.”

“Is this it?” Sam said, picking up the notebook paper with Y/N’s name on it. Bucky gave him a warning glare and Sam darted out of the room, reading the letter before Bucky caught up with him.

“Sam!” Bucky yelled, chasing after him. He lunged at Sam, but Sam was quicker and held him off. Bucky realized it was too late and he slumped into the couch with discontent.

“This is really nice and I can tell it’s genuine, but you can’t say this stuff to her. It’s gonna scare her away. You have to build the foundation first.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Bucky asked, growing frustrated with his friend.

“Just talk to her, find something that you can connect with her on. And then if things go well, ask her out.”

“I’m overthinking this so much.”

“You just gotta be yourself and if she doesn’t like you then she’s crazy.”

“You guys ready to go?” Steve suddenly emerged into the living room. Sam and Bucky nodded, grabbed their keys from the kitchen counter, and left for the party.

X

Bucky took a deep breath as he stepped inside the party. There were a lot of familiar faces which put him at ease and Nat greeted them with a round of tequila shots which helped cut his nerves. He had to stop overthinking. He kept replaying Sam’s word in his head, just be yourself.

Bucky walked into the kitchen in search of a drink when he saw Y/N pulling a tray of jello shots out of the fridge.

“Hey Bucky!” she smiled at him. “Jello shot?” she offered him.

“Only if you take one with me,” he replied.

“You don’t have to twist my arm.” She handed him a plastic ramekin filled with blue jello and she took one for herself. “Here’s to…a great night,” she said, holding up her shot to tap Bucky’s.

“Cheers,” he responded and they both swallowed the tainted gelatin.

“They taste okay? Too strong?” she asked.

He shook his head, “Perfect jello to vodka ratio.”

She smiled, “Good, I’m gonna go pass the rest of these around. Oh, there’s a keg with cups out in the hall or if you want, you can help yourself to my secret stash of Miller High Life in the fridge,” she winked.

“Thanks Y/N.” She walked out of the kitchen to the party and Bucky helped himself to a beer from the fridge. He stayed in the kitchen for a moment to catch his breath. He considered that to be a successful interaction and it gave him the confidence he needed to continue.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard someone calling his name. He joined the party in the living room and found a folding table sprinkled with red solo cups.

“Come play beer pong,” Steve waved him over, as Natasha set up the game. Bucky was never one to turn down a challenge and moved to the opposite side of the table.

“I need a partner,” Bucky scanned the room looking for Sam.

“Oh I’ll play!” a familiar voice said. Bucky froze and noticed the knowing smirk on Natasha's face. Y/N slid in next to him and elbowed his arm, “You think we can take ‘em?” she said.

“Absolutely. I hear you’re a stud at beer pong.”

She smiled and shrugged, “I won’t deny that.”

Y/N and Natasha each took a ball for the face off that would determine who would shoot first. Y/N sank a cup easily, while Nat’s shot hit the rim of a cup and bounced into Bucky’s hands.

“You wanna shoot first?” he asked her.

“No, you go,” she offered. Bucky lined himself up at the table and took his first shot, sinking the front cup.

“Oh, we’ve got this,” Y/N smiled. She stood at the center of the table and tossed the ball with a casual ease. Her shot sailed through the air and easily landed in one of the back corner cups. Steve and Natasha groaned in tandem as they pulled the corner cup away and rolled the ping pong balls back to the other side of the table.

They beat Steve and Nat with ease and welcomed their next challengers, Thor and Loki. The two continued making shots at a rapid pace and they found themselves running the table as a line of people formed to play them next. As the victories poured in, they became more comfortable with each other. The celebrations started with high fives which quickly turned into double high fives, and then suddenly, Y/N was lightly massaging Bucky’s shoulders as he focused on the cups for his upcoming shot. The contact intensified as they secured a come from behind win by sinking the last two cups back to back. Y/N made the last shot and immediately jumped into Bucky’s arms and he picked her up and spun her around. It happened so naturally and Bucky couldn’t help but notice his nerves had evaporated away and his overactive mind had shut off.

Eventually Nat came in and put an end to beer pong, clearing the table for flip cup instead. Bucky left the room to use the bathroom and when he returned, Y/N was nowhere to be found. He assumed she’d join in on flip cup but he didn't see her in the crowd. He caught Natasha’s eye and like a mindreader she signaled to the back porch and gave him a sly smile. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and headed outside.

Y/N was out on the back deck, studying the night sky. When the door opened, she turned around and eased up when she noticed it was Bucky.

“Hey,” was all he said. He stood next to her and placed a can of beer in front of her.

“Thanks,” she said, cracking the beer and taking a sip.

“Not a fan of flip cup?” he asked, trying to make conversation.

“I just needed a break from winning,” she joked.

He chuckled and said, “We make a pretty good team, huh?”

“We do,” she smiled at him before returning her attention to the sky.

“But seriously, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. I was just feeling a little claustrophobic in there. Needed some fresh air.”

“I get that. I can leave if you want some alone time. I’ll guard the door and make sure no one else bothers you.”

“No you should stay. It’s nice to have some company.”

They sat in silence for a while, staring up at the sky. Bucky drank his beer to find the courage to speak up.

“The stars are really bright tonight. You can see a bunch of the constellations.”

“You know constellations?” she asked. He nodded and she asked, “Will you show me?”

He moved a little closer to her and pointed up to the sky, “See that really bright star right there? That’s the North Star. And that’s the end of the Little Dipper’s tail.”

“Okay I see that.”

“And then from the North Star, if you move to the right…that first star forms the bottom of the big dipper.”

“Oh wow.”

“Now look a little bit lower and you’ll see three stars real close together in a row.”

She was quiet and her brow furrowed as she scanned the sky. “I’m not…” she trailed off, “I’m not seeing it.”

Bucky took a step closer to her and he hovered his head right above her shoulder to better see from her vantage point. He pointed to the three stars in question and connected them with his finger.

“See right here?” he spoke into her ear.

“Oh…yeah I see it.”

“That’s Orion’s belt. And if you move up there…those are the shoulders. And down here are the legs.” He traced the outline of the constellation as he spoke.

“That’s amazing,” she breathed. She turned her head towards him, their faces inches apart. “How do you know all this?”

“I took an astronomy class last semester.”

She let out a small laugh and he did the same before adding, “I know it’s not a great story.”

“No but it’s cool that you know this stuff. Show me some more. He continued to show her the constellations that he knew until he eventually ran out. They stood there together in silence, hearing nothing but the muffled music from the party, reminding them of the other world waiting for them inside.

“So what’s your plan after graduation?” she asked him.

“I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I know I’m gonna go back to New York and stay with my Ma for a bit. Other than that I don’t really know. What about you?”

“I’m heading to New York too actually. I got a job working in finance on Wall Street.”

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

She shrugged it off, “It’s fine. It’s mostly just because of my parents’ connections that I got the offer. I’m not even sure if that’s what I want to do.”

“Yeah but at least it’s a start. If you don’t like it you can always make a change.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Well maybe I’ll see you around, in New York,” he added.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She studied him for a moment and he tried to ignore it but he couldn’t.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I’ve never seen this side of you before. Truthfully, up until a few hours ago I didn’t think you liked me very much.”

He looked at her with a confused look, “That’s impossible. Everyone likes you.”

“I don’t know, you’ve always been a little cold towards me. And I wasn’t sure if it was something I did or said or if you just didn’t like me. But I’d like for us to be friends.”

“Y/N…” he started, running his hands through his hair as he reviewed the bullet points in his head.

“Oh god, you don’t want to be friends do you?”

“No, no it's not that. But I want to tell you that-”

“Hey Buck, ready to head home?” Sam interrupted, sticking his head out the back door.

“Yeah just give me a minute.”

“Come on man, pizza place closes in 5.”

“I’ll…I’ll meet you there.”

“Oh it’s okay Bucky. You can go. I should clean up a little bit anyway,” she said. Bucky gave her a forced smile and walked toward Sam to head back inside.

The minute they reached the street, Bucky punched Sam in the arm.

“You fucking asshole!”

“What the hell man?” Sam said.

“I was just about to tell her.”

“You were out there for hours man, I figured you’ asked her out already.”

Bucky sighed, “I’ll never have that chance again.”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll all work out.” Sam was always so happy-go-lucky when it came to love and it frustrated Bucky to no end. As they walked home, he tried to focus on the positives instead of his missed opportunity.

X

Nat woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Steve was propped up next to her, reading his latest World War II book.

“Good morning,” he said and she groaned in response.

“Did I really leave my own party early?” she asked.

“You did,” he confirmed.

“Why did you let me do that?” she whined.

“You were insistent and you know how you get when you’ve made up your mind.”

“I guess that’s true,” she took a deep breath and added, “I should probably get back and help Y/N clean up.” She climbed out of the bed and gathered her things, determined to get home before the hangover truly hit her.

When she went to grab her keys from the counter top, she noticed something. There was a piece of notebook paper folded in half with her roommate’s name on it. Natasha snatched the paper, opened it up and read the first sentence. It was a love letter. From Bucky. Nat didn’t read any further, but she slipped the note into her bag as she left. She knew this was probably never meant for Y/N’s eyes, but she thought Bucky could use a little nudge in the right direction.

X

Bucky woke up with a smile on his face. Despite how his night ended, he played over the memories of the night before and realized he connected with Y/N. He felt like there was a definite potential for more, so he decided to make another opportunity for himself. But first, he wanted to reread his words. He went to grab the letter from his dresser only to find it wasn’t there.

“Ugh, Sam…” he said to himself. He walked out to the living room searching for the letter. “Where did he put it…” he said to himself. He pounded on Sam’s door, waking him up. “What?” he said through the door.

“Where did you put the note?”

“The note?”

“Yes…the note…”

Sam opened the door, “I thought I put it on the counter when we left.”

“Well it’s not there.”

“It has to be there,” Sam said, rushing past Bucky. He glanced around the room and it was nowhere to be found.

“It’s not here,” Bucky reiterated.

“I’m sure Steve just threw it out. You know that he doesn’t like clutter.”

Bucky stared daggers into him and Sam retreated into his room. Bucky tried to ignore his unease and focus on his next move.

X

“Hey there roomie. How ya feeling?” Y/N asked as Nat trudged through the door.

“How do you think?”

“There’s coffee in the kitchen if that helps.” Nat poured herself a cup and joined Y/N on the couch in the living room.

“I have something for you.” Natasha pulled out the letter from her purse and handed it over.

“What is this?”

“Just read it,” Nat said, trying not to obviously study her roommate’s reaction.

Y/N read the letter and her expression shifted multiple times, ranging from flattery to confusion to happiness. She subconsciously put her hand over her heart as a blush crept up her face. When she was finished, she looked up at Natasha in confusion.

“What is this, Nat?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, I didn’t read it but I found it sitting on the counter at the guys’ house when I left.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Go talk to Bucky,” Nat said, as if it was obvious what she should do next. Y/N sat there, contemplating what her options were and concluded that Natasha was right. Y/N went to take a long shower in an effort to rinse off her hangover and delay the awkward talk she was about to have with Bucky.

X

Bucky was working on crafting a text to Y/N when there was a knock at the door. He stood to answer it, assuming it was Nat to hang out with Steve, but he was surprised to find Y/N standing on his doorstep. He then realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt and his cheeks immediately flushed as he noticed her looking at his sculpted abdomen.

“Hi Bucky,” she breathed, finally meeting his eyes. “Can we talk?”

He scratched the back of his neck and Y/N watched his bicep flex and tried to hide the impact his muscles were having on her.

“Come on in,” he opened the door for her and she made herself comfortable on the couch. “I’ll be right back,” he announced as he fled to his room to grab a shirt. He re-emerged into the living room with a skin tight t-shirt and sat next down with her on the couch.

“So what’s up?” he started.

“Well…” she said, as she pulled out the letter.

“Shit,” he exhaled. “Where did you get that?” He immediately tensed up.

“Nat gave it to me.”

He froze for a second, trying to understand how that happened and when he solved the puzzle he immediately put his head in his hands, “She must’ve grabbed it from the counter.”

“It doesn’t matter how I got it, but can we talk about it?”

“Y/N, you were never supposed to see that.”

“Well why not?” He looked up at that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Y/N, I think I’m in love with you?’”

Her breath caught in her throat. Hearing those words come out of his mouth was unexpected. But what was more unexpected were the butterflies dancing around her stomach as her cheeks flushed.

“Is this how you really feel?” she asked, holding up the letter.

He made eye contact with her but all he could do was nod. She let out a deep sigh and he couldn’t look at her. He leaned forward, forearms on his thighs, as he stared down at the floor. She didn’t feel the same way. He could tell from her demeanor that she was about to let him down lightly.

“Bucky…” she reached out and placed a hand over his, “it’s just that…we’ve wasted so much time.”

He looked up at her, waiting for more, “I’ve had a crush on you forever dude.”

“What?” He looked at her in disbelief.

“As much as I enjoy spending time with your roommates, there was a reason I was always hanging around with you guys.”

“So…what are you saying?” he said, unable to form coherent thoughts.

She did the first thing that came to mind. She reached over and placed her hands on his jaw. She gently rubbed the stubble on his cheeks with her thumb and she said, “I’m saying that I like you.” She smiled and looked at him with adoration and Bucky couldn’t help himself.

He slowly leaned forward, giving her plenty of time to pull back. But she didn’t. It almost felt like she was pulling him in ever so slightly. He paused when they were centimeters apart, more out of uncertainty than anything. But she closed the gap, unable to stand the tension any longer. Their lips brushed together, softly at first. And then he felt her mouth curve up into a smile and he gained confidence. He moved one arm around her waist and his other hand landed on her jaw as he intensified the kiss. She moved her hand from his jaw to the back of his neck and her fingers played with his hair. The two pulled away, out of breath and a huge smile spread across Bucky’s face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Mmm…I think I do,” she said, glancing at the letter.

“You’re never going to let that go are you.”

“Are you kidding? I loved it. No one’s ever done that for me before. Even if it wasn’t completely intentional.”

He kissed her again and he didn’t want this moment to ever end. Bucky realized he’d have to thank Nat, and Sam for that matter. Without them he wouldn’t be here. They parted yet again and Bucky said, “Not that I want you to leave, but you should probably go home and get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.”

“Really?” she beamed at him.

He planted a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose, “Darling, I’ve been waiting years to take you out. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

She pecked his lips and said, “Pick me up at 8.” She gathered her things and he walked her to the front door. She stepped outside and then turned around before she walked away.

“I’m really glad you wrote that letter, even if you weren’t actually going to give it to me.”

He nodded and pulled her into a tight hug, “Me too.”

[farfarawayinthelandof]

Hi! I saw you don’t have any miraculous stuff yet. Can I request a Marinette x f! reader. Reader is new to the school and quickly becomes her friend and Marinette doesn’t know how to react when she finds out reader has a crush on her. She realizes that she fell for reader while she was hanging out with Adrian. Please.

MARINETTE X FEM!READER ONESHOT

Thank you so much for your request(s)! I absolutely love this one.

fem!reader

warnings: none!

ੈ♡˳·˖✶

As the students of Francoise Dupont got into the routine of the new school year, there was a last minute transfer. That transfer being you, Y/N. You were full of excitement and nerves to finally be starting at a new school, thrilled to meet new friends, but also nervous, for fear of being left out. Your fears has faded away, however, when you met your new classmates, especially her.

Her being Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the class president tasked with showing you around for the day. She had a creative and talented personality, and a helping attitude, and every task, favor, and assignment never seemed to be a problem, or worry for her. You weren't sure if you wanted to be her, or with her.

By lunchtime, you had figured you wanted to be with her. You had also figured that half the class felt the same way, how could they not?

As you walked to the restroom at the end of lunch with Alya and Rose, about a week after you had first been introduced, they struck up a conversation about Marinette.

"You and Marinette are getting close? Should I have to watch my back so you don't replace me as her BFF?" Alya asks, with a light tone. Rose laughs.

You inhale sharply. "No! No, it's not like that! I would never! I-"

"Girl, relax." Alya laughs. You ease up a little bit. "I'm just teasing you. All the girls in our class are tight."

"Oh! That's nice to hear! I hope we can all be great friends."

Rose and Alya nod. "But anyway, about Marinette. You like her, don't you?" Rose asks.

'Was it that obvious?' You think woefully.

"I guess. But I know she likes Adrien." There was no point in hiding it. You trusted the two girls, and it was just a little crush.

Rose opens the door to the bathroom, holding it for you and Alya. As you thank the blonde, Alya speaks up. "I what it feels like to like someone who doesn't like you back. Nino used to have a crush on Marinette. Come to think of it, pretty much everyone in our class has had a crush on her at one point or another." Rose nods, laughing as she sprays some perfume on herself.

"Adrien?" You ask.

"That boy is absolutely clueless. His skull is *ahem* very thick. He's so dumb, for someone so smart." Alya says.

Rose agrees thoughtfully.

After your conversation with Alya and Rose, you return to your seat with newfound hope. Marinette must know Adrien is hopeless. Feeling bold, you come up with a plan.

ੈ♡˳·˖✶

Marinette had only known you for a few weeks, however, she had already felt a connection with you. She was really looking forward to becoming better friends.

On another note, Marinette had also made plans with Adrien later in the day. She had been looking forward to this project ever since she had been paired up with the young model.

Stopping at her locker, she noticed you walking towards her. You looked nervous. Had you forgotten your locker combination?

“Hey Marinette!” You said, voice masking the uncertainty you felt.

Marinette smiled, turning her attention towards you. “Hi, Y/N!”

“So, um… I was wondering - and I know this might be sudden - but I was wondering if you wanted to go out… together?”

To say Marinette had been taken aback would be an understatement. And while she liked the forwardness, Marinette had to turn you down. Who knows what could happen with Adrien tonight, even if he’s a bit clueless?

“Y/N. Listen, I… Uh, appreciate-”

You sigh. “Let me stop you right there. I understand. Hopefully we can still be good friends.”

Marinette sighed in relief. “Yeah, friends!”

You nodded towards Marinette, signaling goodbye. Well, you tried, right? And they say you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.

The ravenette couldn’t help but feel guilty as she walked to Adrien. Why were you the only thing going through her mind when Adrien was right there?

This question had repeated itself throughout Marinette’s head all afternoon.

Until she realized.

Marinette felt a connection with you she never had with anyone else. It was a deep admiration, but not putting you on a pedestal, no. She saw you as real, and attainable. Unlike Adrien.

“Hey, earth to Marinette! You look a bit pale..” Adrien says, confused.

“Heh, sorry Adrien.” How was she supposed to face you tomorrow? Somehow, Marinette knew she blew it.

‘Oh, I’m no good at love!’ Thought Marinette, woefully.

The next day, you greeted Marinette as usual. But she couldn’t help but want more. And you couldn’t, either. But what were you two to do? Wasn’t any chance you two would ever be together destroyed?

After school, it had begun to rain. You sighed in defeat. You didn’t have an umbrella, and your parent(s) were at work. There was no one to help you. You tried to ask Alya or Nino for a ride, but they already left before you could.

Damn.

“Hey, Y/N?” Said a timid voice.

You turned to find Marinette, sheltered by the school’s roof, standing behind you.

“Hi, Marinette!” You say cheerfully. You are doing your best to make sure that your confession doesn’t get in the way between you two.

“If you don’t have an umbrella, you can use mine” She said, smiling nervously.

“Oh no, I couldn’t. My parent(s) will be off soon, I can wait for them.”

“Please… or at least walk back to my house until you can get picked up.”

You struggle for a bit. That did sound like a good deal. Plus, you could show Marinette that you could be friends and not make it weird.

“Alright,” you say.

“Perfect!”

You and Marinette begin walking to her house, talking about all sorts of things, like new video games, the best ways to bake cookies, and current fashion trends. The conversation flows naturally, never leaving an awkward moment between the two of you.

Marinette now knew 100% that it was you, not Adrien that she liked. Everything with him felt forced, but with you, it was all natural, and so fun.

You both walked into the bakery, Marinette holding the door out for you while you walked in. You greeted Marinette’s parents having already met Tom at a school function.

Marinette walks you to her room where you both spend the afternoon playing video games and procrastinating homework.

It gets a little quiet after Marinette wins the match for the hundredth time, and she looks over to you.

“I’m… sorry. I hope my rejection didn’t make things awkward for us.”

You smiled, albeit fake, reassuringly. “No, no! It’s totally fine.” Not really sure what else to say, you stop there.

Marinette looks down at her hands. “The thing is, yesterday… when I was at Adrien’s house, I realized that I…”

Your internal dialogue was going crazy. ‘Oh my gosh, does she not want to be friends?! Doesn’t she want to be more than friends?! Please, spill it out!’

“… I really like you” Marinette finished.

Your head spins suddenly to face Marinette, giving you whiplash. You cannot believe what you just heard.

“You… do?” To be honest, you weren’t even 100% sure she liked girls.

Marinette nods.

But now… everything has changed. You smile to yourself.

“Cool”

“Cool?!”

“Yeah,” You say. “Let’s go out. Right now.”

“Right now?!”

“Yes!”

Grabbing your shoes in coat, with Marinette en suite, she grabs the black umbrella, and you both bid goodbye to her parents.

“Alright, where to first?” You ask her, laughing.

“I think I know just the place.”

“Well then, please,” you gesture your hand out to her. She grabs it. “Lead the way.”

I tried to not make this too long/dialogue heavy. I hope you liked it!

no beta, we're dying like men

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Call me babe for the weekend - Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: You and Chris talk things out after you wake up to his late night message.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Angst, Alcohol Consumption, SMUT 18+ ONLY

A/N: This is a follow up to Call it Even, it can be read as a stand alone there just might be some context missing. Flashbacks in Italics 

Masterlist

When you woke up this morning you weren’t expecting to find a missed called. Especially not from him. You also weren’t expecting him to leave a message.

All morning you flipped back and forth trying to decide whether you should listen to it or not. He hadn’t spoken to you in nearly a year and now he was suddenly leaving you messages in the middle of the night.

You told yourself that he was probably drunk, being back home for the holidays messing with his brain. Making him finally reach out after disappearing off the face of the planet.

However, no matter how much you told yourself to ignore it, there was always that little voice in your head. The one that told you to just listen to it, to maybe indulge in the scenarios running through your head. The one that told you that you missed him.

Because you did. You really did. No matter how much he hurt you. You missed him.

You eventually conceded. Grabbing yourself a glass of wine for good measure. Sitting yourself on the couch wrapping a blanket around you. You set your phone down on the coffee table and turn on the speaker. Taking a large gulp of wine as you hit play.

“Hey, it’s Chris, I just wanted to say I’m in town and was wondering if you wanted to meet up. I know I left things in a weird place last year and I’m sorry for that but if it’s the same to you it’s the same to me. I guess what I’m trying to say that the road not taken looks real good right now, that doesn’t make sense I’m sorry. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I meant what I said on new year’s and if you’d give me a chance to explain then I’d love to. I’m staying at my parent’s house so just swing by whenever you want. I miss you so much dot, your smile, sleeping in half the day, everything. I’ll see you soon hopefully”

You felt sick all of sudden, remembering the night he mentioned painfully clearly. The night you had tried to forget and explain away. The last time you had seen chris.

You sniffed back your tears determined not to cry. You had already spent enough nights crying over it already. You had wished that it was some stupid drunk message, a butt dial, anything else.

Despite knowing better, you hit replay. You mind getting stuck on the sentence ‘I meant what I said on new years’ because if that was true he wouldn’t have done what he did.

The more you thought about it the more you drank and the more you wanted to hear what he had to say. So before you could stop yourself you had picked up your phone and texted him.

‘Let’s talk’

He responded almost immediately asking you for a place and time. You settled on tomorrow, meeting him at Lisa’s house. Once it was all sorted you dropped your phone down on the table before downing another glass of wine.

When you knocked on the door the next morning you were relieved that it was Lisa that opened the door.

“Oh (Y/N) it’s so good to see you!” She smiles instantly enveloping you in a warm hug.

“Yeah, it’s been a while, is um Chris in?” You ask her rocking back and forth nervously.

“Gosh I feel like I’ve fallen through a wormhole back to when you two were kids” she laughs as she ushers you inside.

“Chris! (Y/N)’s here!” She calls up the stairs.

You felt your breath hitch as he appeared at the top of the stairs, jogging down them like he always used to when you were younger. Except this time, he had dodger hot on his heels.

“Hey, um I thought maybe we could take dodger out, go for a walk?” Chris suggests swallowing nervously.

“Um yeah sure sounds great” you agree nodding your head.

“Great, well um let me just grab my coat and snow boots” Chris says before walking off towards the backdoor where he left them.

“It is really nice to see you again (Y/N), hopefully we’ll see you again soon” Lisa says as Chris returns.

You glance up at him before clearing your throat and looking back at Lisa “yeah hopefully” you say with a small smile.

“See you later ma” Chris says as he leashes up dodger and you head out.

You and Chris walked through the nearby woods in silence. Neither of you knowing what to say. Just watching as dodger run through the snow.

At one point he ran straight over to you bouncing asking you to throw something. Bending down you quickly make a snowball before throwing it as far as you could. You smile dodger run after bouncing around confused when the ball broke. You glance up at Chris seeing him chuckling away before looking down at you with an awkward smile.

Silence once again falls between the two of you again before Chris finally speaks up.

“I’m sorry” he says making you glance up at him.

“For not calling, for just disappearing, for everything” he continues shaking his head.

You nod your head not really knowing what to say.

“Plans changed last minute and I had to leave early in the morning the next day, and I was so hungover I didn’t remember any of the night before, not our conversation, nothing” he sighed shrugging his shoulders.

“And when my memory started coming back it was months after the fact and I hadn’t heard from you, for understandable reasons, and I was just too scared to reach out because I thought I’d already ruined everything” he continued.

You let out a deep sigh as you processed everything he said.

“Well I guess that’s better than you standing me up because you changed your mind” you sighed making Chris stop in his tracks and look down at you confused.

“Wait what?” He asks furrowing his brows.

“Yeah we agreed to go out the next day and the local cafe, I waited for you but you never showed” you tell him.

He looks down at you completely shocked and you realise he didn’t remember that at all. Not even now.

“You don’t remember that do you?” You say slowly.

He shakes his head in answer “no, did we agree that out on the deck?” He asks.

“No afterwards, we went inside and I got pulled away by Natalie, you went and got a drink but then about an hour later you pulled me aside again” you explain.

After stepping back inside you hadn’t stopped smiling. Even when you were speaking to your friend you found yourself looking across the room at Chris. Whenever he caught you he’d smile in a way that made your heart flutter.

You had just walked out of one the bathrooms upstairs and were walking back down the corridor when a door opened and someone dragged you inside a room. You let out a noise of surprise as you were pushed against the door, a hand over your mouth.

“Sh sh sh” Chris says smiling down st you.

“Chris what are you doing?” You laugh when you pull his hand from your mouth.

“You really think you could keep looking at me like that and not do anything about it?” He smirks his hand moving to your hip.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You ask biting your bottom lip.

He smiled down at you before cupping your cheek and guiding your lips up to his. He kissed you hungrily, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. His tongue running along your lip before deepening the kiss.

His hands started travelling down your body, hand moving over your breasts massaging them making you moan quietly. He smiled into the kiss before moving to pick you up, wrapping your legs around his waist walking you over to his bed.

“Not gonna wine and dine me first?” You smirk when he drops you down onto the bed.

“I’ll tell you what, tonight we have fun and tomorrow we’ll go out for lunch at the cafe down the road from yours” he suggests as he moves to hover over you.

“Sounds like a plan” you smile as he kisses you once more.

“Its a date” he agrees.

You smile into the kiss wrapping your arms around his shoulders pulling his closer. His hands roam up and down your body, pushing the skirt of your dress up. You gasp when his hand brushes over your clothed core, hips rocking against his hands.

Chris smirked into the kiss as his hand slips under the waistband of your underwear. Letting out a breathy moan when his fingers run up and down your folds.

“Fuck, so wet” Chris groans as he continues to run his fingers over your core collecting your slick and running it up to your sensitive nub.

“Chris please” you beg your back arching, hips rolling.

“What do you want sweetheart?” Chris says as he kisses you down your neck.

“You, I want you” you say hands moving to his belt buckle.

“You have me sweetheart, always have always will” Chris smiles hands moving to meet yours pushing his trousers and boxers down.

His hands then found your underwear pulling them down and off. He settles himself between your legs. Erection pressing against you as he cupped your cheek.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He asks, thumb running over your cheek.

“Yes, I’ve wanted this for so long” you admit looking up into his bright blue eyes.

He smiles down at you warmly “me too” he says before kissing you deeply.

You both moan into the kiss and he slowly pushes into you. The feeling of him filling you up to point that it was almost painful was blissfully overwhelming.

You thought the feeling couldn’t get any better and then Chris started moving. The room filling with the sounds of both your moans and gasps. As chris brought up the pace his name fell from your lips like a chant.

Soon your orgasm crashed over you, leaving you keening beneath him as you cried out. Chris continues to thrust into you, working you through your orgasm while chasing his own. Groaning when he unloads himself before collapsing down on the bed beside you.

The two of you just lay there catching your breath. Smiling when you looked over to see him smiling at you already. He reached over brushing some hair out of your face before cupping your cheek and bring his lips to yours.

“We should probably head back downstairs before people wonder where we’ve gone” you sigh sitting up.

“Can’t we just have a few more minutes” chris complains trying to pull you back down.

You smile over your shoulder as you grab your underwear and slipping them back on.

“Play your cards right tomorrow and we can do this many, many more times” you smirk fixing your hair in the mirror.

“Don’t you worry about that, it will be the best lunch date you’ve ever had” he smiles.

“Fuck” Chris mutters when you finish recounting the night.

“Fuck I’m such an asshole, (Y/N) I’m so sorry” Chris says shaking his head.

You look down unable to say anything without the risk of completely crying.

“Everything I said that night, I meant it, every last word. I want you so much, I have for a really long time because I love you (Y/N) so much” Chris admit taking your hand getting you to look back up at him.

When your eyes meet his you try to see if he was lying but you couldn’t.

“Really?” You ask not really believing him.

“Really, if I could I would go back in time and re do that night the only thing I would change was how much I drank, so that I would never make the mistake I did, and maybe right now we’d be about to celebrate our one year anniversary because you’re it for me” Chris says cupping your cheeks.

You were unable to hold back the tears any longer, chris looking down at you sadly.

“I’m sorry I’m so so sorry” Chris says tears collecting in his eyes as he tried to wipe away yours.

“I forgive you” you stutter through the tears.

“You do?” Chris asks looking down at you in surprise.

“Yeah, because I love you to Chris, so much” you admit smiling up at him.

He chuckles smiling down at you before crashing his lips down on yours, making up for all the lost time.

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Masterlist

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 8) - Good Days, Bad Days

Summary: The reader has a special birthday surprise for Jensen and starts to get to know Jared more. When Jensen returns home from Toronto for good though, he and the reader have their first big fight and make more moves in their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, angst, fighting, smut

A/N: Enjoy!

________

Thursday Night

“So how do you want me?” asked Jensen, leaning against his closet door in nothing but his boxer briefs. 

“Oh well that’s a dangerous question,” you laughed. “Jeans are fine for where I’m taking you.”

“Alright,” he said. He ducked into the closet and returned wearing only a pair of dark jeans, smirking at you with his hands behind his back.

“Being a little shit?” you asked.

“One of my best qualities,” he said. You hummed and went past him into the closet. “So what should I be wearing on this date out?”

“I’m kinda a sucker for you a henley and flannel. Not to let that go to your head at all,” you said.

“Oh you should never watch Supernatural then,” he chuckled, grabbing a long sleeve white henley off the hanger and pulling it on.

“I did sort of start watching it,” you said. “You look like a little baby that hadn’t hit puberty yet.”

“I got better with age, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Oh yes you did,” you said. “I like it. It’s kinda scary but not too bad if you watch during the day.”

“It gets less scary pretty fast,” he said, putting on his red and gray flannel. “I all set?”

“You look very pretty,” you said, walking out with him on your tail. “So does the show end happy? Like they live? It’s got this angsty feel to it where I feel like something bad is gonna happen.”

“Do you want me to spoil it?”

“Dean doesn’t like die, right,” you said. He made a face and you frowned. “No. Why? He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Eh, calm yourself woman. Things could happen in the future...he might not have to die...or he might come back and I really shouldn’t be discussing these things.”

“You’d do more?” you asked.

“Oh for sure. On a streaming network where we get to do all the shit we couldn’t on cable. Get some fresh eyes in on the writing or maybe we’d even take a crack at it. It’s not really an if, more of a when so don’t go worrying about Dean. I like my new friends at work and everybody’s great but I miss Jared and my old ones. I’m definitely working with them again.”

“That’s great! Now come on, move that tush. We have reservations.”

“Reservations. Fancy,” he said. He put on a pair of socks and shoved his wallet in his pocket, following you out to the hall when you spun around. 

“Oh yeah,” you smirked. “You may also have a little birthday surprise waiting for your downstairs so eyes shut mister.”

“You’re devious. I like that. I like that a lot. We should explore that later in bed.”

“Tempting. I’ll have to take you up on that,” you said. “Eyes shut.”

You held his hand and he shut his eyes, going down the hall with you. You went slowly down the steps, Jensen’s arm around you the whole time. You grinned and walked him over to the family room before leaving him in place.

“Open,” you said. He blinked open his eyes, quickly landing them on a grinning Jared standing there.

“How the hell are you here?” said Jensen, Jared giving him a big hug he quickly returned. “Shit I missed you man.”

“Me too. But it’s someone’s birthday this week and I don’t have work tomorrow so I caught a flight up this afternoon. Y/N thought I’d make a good present.”

“Fucking awesome present,” he said, still grinning ear to ear. 

“You doing okay?” asked Jared, Jensen nodding. He gave him another hug and you smiled. “So how’s that crush on the nanny working out?”

“Shut up,” said Jensen, smirking as he pulled you into his side. “Jared. I know you guys met already but Y/N is your soon to be best friend just as an fyi.”

“Oh we’ve already started chatting,” you said, Jared chuckling. “He’s really sweet. I had to legit stop him from jumping on a plane that second when I texted him he thought something was wrong.”

“I think between the two of us we can keep an eye on him,” said Jared. “So you mind if I crash your date?”

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m taking both you boys out. My treat.”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” said Jensen two hours later while he excused himself to the bathroom. Jared finished off the last of his beer and smiled as he leaned back in his corner of the booth. 

“You know I’m totally covering this right,” he said.

“Dutch?” you asked.

“I’ll take the alcohol, you take the food.”

“That I can agree to,” you said, glancing over the dessert menu. “I’m really happy you were able to come up to hang out. I know you got your own family and everything and this was last minute.”

“He’s my family too,” he said. “I’d do anything for him. Literally. Don’t ever hesitate to call me, no matter when or where. I’ll be there for him like he’s always been for me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smile on his face like that before.”

“I have. You just didn’t notice that night at the bonfire.” You shrugged and he cocked his head. “How long you two been dating?”

“A month or so,” you said. 

“You like him?”

“He’s alright,” you said, smiling before you took a sip from your glass. 

“Thanks for taking care of him lately.”

“Don’t need to thank me for that,” you said, sliding the dessert menu over to him.

“Yeah but I’m still going to,” he said. “I meant what I said earlier. Between the two of us he’ll be okay again.”

“He’s never gonna be the same. He’ll be happy and it won’t hurt as much. But it’ll come back and hit him time to time.”

“There’s a reason he’s my best friend and it’s not just because we worked together for so long. He’s always been there for me and I’ll be there for him. I feel better about him being up here when he’s got someone else watching his back.”

“You had the hard job, not me,” you said.

“He’s come a long way. Doesn’t mean this is a cakewalk though I’m sure.”

“No, you’re right about that,” you said as you spotted Jensen returning.

“You guys order dessert yet?” he asked, sliding in beside you.

“Why doesn’t the birthday boy pick,” teased Jared, handing the menu over to him. “You guys ought to come home for a weekend when you get a chance.”

“It’s kinda a long way to go with the kids for just a few days,” said Jensen. “But we’ll be home soon. Hopefully.”

“I can get you a gig on Walker anytime you want it dude, just ask.”

“Maybe. I kinda want to get with the guys and maybe work on that Supernatural stuff. I need good stuff to look forward to, you know?”

“I do,” said Jared. “As long as you come home eventually I’ll learn to live with just using your jet skis in the meantime.”

“See what I’ve been dealing with for over a decade?” asked Jensen.

“Oh yes. He’s horrible,” you teased. “We really shouldn’t have him sleepover then, should we?”

“You’re staying at the house?” asked Jensen with a grin.

“Duh. I didn’t just fly a thousand miles to not see you dude. I’m here all weekend. Let’s have some fun.”

“Boys I’m heading to bed,” you said around two in the morning. 

“Yeah we ought to go to bed ourselves,” said Jared.

“I’ll grab you some sheets and stuff,” said Jensen. You waved goodnight to Jared, heading down the hall towards your room when Jensen wrapped an arm around your waist. “I thought you were gonna sleep with me from now on.”

“I am. Want to check something real quick.”

“Hurry back,” he said. He kissed your temple and ducked into his room, leaving you in the hall. You went down to your own and checked your email, smirking when you saw what you were looking for. A rattling of fingers on the door made you glance up, Jensen smiling there. “Texting your other boyfriend?”

“No, I sort of...submitted one of my stories to a publisher. They’ve been talking to me this week and said they’d get back to me today on if they wanted to move forward. They want to do a five book deal. I already have the stories done and mostly drawn anyways. They gave me an offer just now.”

“That’s awesome,” he said. “Seriously. We’re gonna celebrate tomorrow for sure.”

“It’s no big deal,” you said.

“It really is,” he said. He picked you up and grinned, carrying you back to his room. “I’m proud of you.”

“They’re stupid stories,” you said.

“I love those stupid stories,” he said, setting you on the bed. “The kids do too.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re supposed to say that.” You set your phone on the nightstand and crawled under the covers, Jensen pulling you into his chest when het got underneath.

“My children think their mom is really okay now. They don’t get sad anymore and they ask questions about her again and I don’t want to cry every time I talk about her because your story reminded me that the wolf dad can be happy again for him too. That’s really fucking important to me right now in life.”

“Okay Papa Wolf,” you said. You grinned and he returned it. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you said as you answered your phone. “What’s up?”

“Jensen at work?”

“Yeah. Late night again,” you said. “He’s answering texts between breaks I think.”

“Cool,” he said.

“You need something?” you asked. 

“No, no. I’m good,” he said. “Thanks. I’ll catch you later.”

“You doing okay?” you asked.

“Yeah. Just want to talk to him for a minute,” he said. He was a little quiet and you sat down on the couch. 

“You want to talk to me?” you asked.

“That’s okay.”

“Jared...Jensen and I are starting to get serious which means we’re gonna be together a lot considering how you two can’t go more than a day without talking. We can be good friends too,” you said. He was quiet and you hoped you hadn’t sounded too corny.

“I uh, I have bad days sometimes. Really normal days can be bad days in my head. It’s kinda how I was built I guess,” he said. 

“Nothing wrong with that,” you said. “Today a bad day?”

“Kinda. Nothing happened. I had a normal day at work and home. I’m just off. He um...Jensen makes me feel better as lame as that sounds. Just talking for a few minutes helps my head get on track that somebody really does care.”

“He’s very good like that,” you said. “I know you mean the world to him. You’re his brother. It’s not lame that he makes you feel better. You make him feel better too. I owe you a lot for taking care of him after the accident.”

“I much prefer when I’m the one freaking out and he takes care of me,” chuckled Jared. “You guys coming home soon?”

“He’s got a few weeks left of filming but I might head down a little earlier, try to get the house sorted out down there with the kids and stuff,” you said. “He’s literally counting down the days.”

“He really likes working on the show though I thought.”

“Oh he does but he’s got a big circle on the calendar for the fifthteenth called Jared day. I think your boy is planning something fun.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “You mind if I ask a personal question?”

“Shoot, buddy,” you said, stretching in your seat.

“Do you love him?” he asked. 

“Going full throttle out of the gate I see,” you said.

“I know. I know how he talks about you though. There’s no...casual relationship with him.”

“Well I haven’t said it to him yet and he hasn’t said it to me so...maybe another time I’ll be able to answer that question.”

“It’s been almost four months. You get to spend more time together than most couples starting out. I’d think you know by now,” he said.

“I do. But he deserves to hear it before anyone else,” you said. 

“So you love him.”

“Most things I love have a habit of going away,” you said. 

“He won’t,” he said. “You do more than make him happy, Y/N. A lot more.”

“I just wish he didn’t hurt.”

“He hurts a lot less lately. Some of that’s time and some of it’s you. Enjoy being one of his best friends. He doesn’t let that many people in that close.”

“I know. We were supposed to be talking about you I thought.”

“Eh, sometimes I just need the talk. Thanks. I got somebody else I can call now too.”

“It’s never a problem,” you said.

“It’s getting late there. I’ll let you go. Thanks for talking, really. I feel better.”

“Anytime Jared.”

“You too, Y/N.”

Three Weeks Later

“Doug you’re a lifesaver,” you said as finished washing Jensen’s truck in the driveway back home in Austin. He smiled as he wiped off his hands and gave Arrow a wave goodbye. 

“I owed you for that 3am incident,” he said. “You got easy kids. Mine are vultures.”

“Yes, yes they are,” you laughed. He gave you a kiss on the check and smiled as he headed back for his car, another one coming down the open driveway. “Later Doug.”

“Later,” he said. Jensen exited the back of the car along with his backpack and a suitcase, the car pulling out, Doug following after.

“Hey. How was the flight?” you asked.

“Who was that?” he asked, dropping his bags on the pavement.

“Oh that’s just Doug. He’s a nanny. I needed an extra set of hands today watching the kids trying to finish up these chores before you got home and it was perfect timing,” you said. You smirked and walked over to kiss him, Jensen taking a step back. “Something wrong?”

“You kissed him.”

“No. I didn’t. He kissed my cheek,” you said. Jensen narrowed his eyes and you scoffed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Seriously? He’s my friend.”

“That kisses you.”

“He’s affectionate,” you said. “Also he’s kinda married so you can tone it down with the judgemental looks.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re right. You should be able to kiss whoever you want despite being in a relationship,” he said. He grabbed his bags and brushed past you inside. You grumbled and went after him, finding him upstairs in his room. “What?”

“What stick is up your ass today? I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks. None of us have and you’re in a bad mood.”

“I was perfectly happy until I saw you kissing somebody else.”

“I wasn’t kissing him!”

“It didn’t look like that from my perspective.”

“Jensen.”

“Is this just a little game to you? You get bored of the older guy with kids finally?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Or maybe you just got caught finally.”

“I don’t cheat,” you said, getting in his face. “He kissed my cheek. I’ll call him to come back and explain this situation right now but I apparently you just think I’m a cheater.”

“Well maybe you are. Geez, we’ve been together over four months and no real sex yet? Cause that’s not sending red flags.”

“Because you weren’t fucking ready!” you shouted. “I’m not your wife and I’m never gonna be her. Don’t be mad at me for it.”

“No that’s for sure,” he said.

“The kids are in the front yard. Don’t expect me back today,” you said. You stormed downstairs and into your room, shoving some things in a bag before taking your purse and getting behind the wheel of your car. 

You were seeing red by the time you were out of the suburbs. You slammed your hand against the wheel and shouted.

“You fucking asshole,” you said. You sniffled and drove for a bit before finally pulling off. You drove down a long road, rolling your eyes when of course you passed by his brewery. You’d never been but he’d told you about it more than once. You kept going down the road, eventually finding a park to pull into. You shut off the car and shut your eyes, a knock on the window making you jump. You put down your window when you saw a cop there and did your best to wipe off your face.

“You’re double parked,” he said. 

“What?”

“You’re parked on the line,” he said. 

“Sorry,” you said. 

“Bad day?” he asked.

“Something like that,” you said. You could feel snot threatening to drip down your nose, the officer reaching into a pocket and handing you a tissue. “Thanks.”

“Best not to drive when you’re upset,” he said.

“Yeah. I’m just gonna sit here for a little while,” you said with a nod.

“Probably not a great idea to sit in a car next a playground,” he said. “The mom’s are kinda intense around here.”

“Of course they are,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why don’t you move your car and you can join me on my patrol,” he said. “It’s only a short walk. Fresh air might do you good.”

“Last time I talked to another man my boyfriend sorta freaked out on me so maybe not a good idea,” you said. You blew your nose and realized what you’d said, the officer staring down. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why don’t we take that walk so I can find out what you did mean.”

Two minutes later you were walking next to the cop. He had a baseball cap on and was in all black. You weren’t sure how he wasn’t boiling considering it was May in Austin.

“This boyfriend got a name?”

“You gonna run his name or something?” you asked.

“Do I need to?” he asked. You shook your head and he smiled. “He the jealous type? He get angry over you talking to other men?”

“It’s complicated.”

“If it doesn’t get uncomplicated I might have to pay this boyfriend a visit you understand.”

“His wife died last June.”

“Okay. I understand part of the complicated thing now.”

“Why’s he gotta be a dick? Called me a cheater,” you said. You crossed your arms and the cop chuckled. “Sorry.”

“As long as you don’t call me a dick we don’t got a problem. Did you cheat on him?”

“No. He...he works away and he just got home today and my guy friend was over helping me with watching my boyfriends kids while I did some chores and my guy friend is like, a really affectionate guy and he kissed my cheek as my boyfriend was coming in and my boyfriend thinks I was kissing him back and been cheating on him for the past three weeks.”

“Why don’t you just call the guy friend over to explain?”

“He got so pissed so fast and accused me of cheating. I’ve been dating him for nearly five months and he brings up the fact we haven’t had sex yet like that even matters when I’ve been holding back for him and he just blows up on me for fucking nothing,” you said.

“You’re both stubborn people, aren’t ya,” he said.

“Maybe,” you grumbled.

“Maybe this guy is scared and looking for a way out of the relationship. Or maybe he thinks you want out. You mentioned kids. That’s not easy.”

“He’s also...older. There’s an age gap. I was the nanny and now I’m the girlfriend nanny. He’s also kinda...famous,” you said.

“So there’s a lot of stress in this relationship then.”

“No,” you said, dropping your arms to your sides. “It’s not like that.”

“Maybe the dumb bastard just got scared of losing someone again,” he said. “Just a theory.”

“I wish he wasn’t scared,” you said. “I don’t know how to make him not afraid.”

“You ever think maybe he said that because you’re getting in there pretty good now and he’s getting real scared that losing you might hurt just as bad as this wife did.”

“He’s an idiot. But he’s my idiot,” you said. 

“Talk to him. Get an apology and try to forgive him.”

“I already forgive him. I know him. He was scared and I got mad instead of realizing after so many weeks apart all he needed was a freaking hug.”

“Then go home and give him a hug,” he said.

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “I must have looked like a hot mess or something.”

“Oh for sure,” he chuckled. You smiled and he laughed. “That looks better.”

“Jensen probably left like five messages on my phone by now,” you said. The cop you were with paused and smiled. “What?”

“A kinda famous Jensen. There’s really only one of those in town,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah. Please don’t share that he’s dating. He really wants to keep things private for a lot of reasons right now,” you said.

“He’s my buddy.”

“Your buddy?”

“We went to school together,” he said. “In tenth grade he went for a slide on second base, ripped his pants right down the middle. His hanes bright blue covered ass still managed to get around to home base.”

“He split his pants in a baseball game?” you smiled.

“I know quite a few of his dirty secrets,” he said. “I don’t really know that whole acting thing but him I know and that must make you Y/N. You ever in trouble kid, ever just got a bad feeling and want a cop to come by, give me a call.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took his card. “You really think he’s a dumb bastard?”

“Oh knowing it’s him, 100%. Give him a break. We like him when he smiles,” he said.

“I’m gonna give him a call,” you said. “We should hang out sometime now that Jensen has a break.”

“Definitely. I gotta finish my patrol,” he said. “Take care Y/N.”

“Bye,” you said as you headed back towards your car. You pulled out your phone and saw seven missed calls and twelve unread texts. You tapped the screen and put the phone up to your ear, only ringing for a second.

“I’m sorry,” said Jensen.

“Me too.”

“I’m the one that...shit I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what happened.”

“You missed me and you were scared and seeing Doug probably hurt like a bitch,” you said.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be the stupid jealous boyfriend.”

“I’m not too far from your brewery if you want to meet there. Get a beer. Blow this over,” you said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. Stop apologizing. I want to give you a hug,” you said. 

“I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes?” he asked.

“I’ll see you soon honey.”

“Hi,” said Jensen as you sat at a quiet table in the back, sipping on a beer and eating a piece of pizza. You smiled and stood up, giving him a hug. He tucked his head down and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey we survived our first big fight as a couple,” you said. “That deserves beer and pizza.”

He sat down next to you, forcing a smile on his face. You reached over and cupped his cheek, Jensen turning into it. 

“Please forgive yourself,” you said.

“I don’t really want to,” he said.

“You called me a cheater. I get what I want today and that’s for you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

“Jensen,” you said, stroking his cheek. “I love you.”

He stared at you, a different look in his eyes, the tiniest sliver of a smile peeking through. You inched closer and slid your hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He felt softer than usual, lips barely moving against yours. 

“I love you,” he said. He wrapped his arms around you and grinned. “I have loved you for a very long time.” You kissed him again, Jensen returning it. 

He left his arm around your back, smirking when you did the same to him.

“Can we forget about earlier?” you asked. He nodded and rested his head on your shoulder.

“One last I’m sorry though,” he said.

“Just don’t call me that again and we’re all good, Jens,” you said. “Now eat some of this pizza so I don’t feel like a glutton.”

“I don’t have to slip into a superhero costume any more so dad bod here I come,” he chuckled.

“Does that mean Solider Boy meets some untimely end?”

“No spoilers,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ll be going back to that show. At least as often. I know I want to direct an episode of walker in the fall. I talked to Jared about it actually so that’ll be fun. I might do a duck and run guest appearance on it. I’ll line up something for next year but I want to be home for awhile, do work around here.” 

“I know quite a few people who would be more than okay with that,” you said. 

“Don’t make any plans for Saturday,” he smirked.

“I thought you were having your Jared day tomorrow.”

“Oh we are. Gen invited you and the kids over. She’d like to get to know you. You’ll love her,” he said.

“So what’s Saturday then?” you asked.

“I’d like to take you and the kids out on the boat. We haven’t been since before the accident. Maybe we can go out for dinner and put up the tent in the backyard, have a sleepover out there with the kids.”

“That sounds fun.”

“And...I’d like to maybe next week take you out for the day, just us, maybe...spend the night somewhere,” he said.

“Like a hotel?” you asked.

“Yeah. Or the kids can have a sleepover at Jared’s. Maybe.” He glanced down and you moved your arm from his back, reaching behind yourself to hold his hand. Green eyes flickered over to yours and you smiled. “I’m-”

“You know if you keep apologizing about earlier I’m not going to have sex with you,” you said. “That’s just facts.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “No more apologies. Aside from...I really am sorry about what I said. I’m the one that’s been holding back and not once have you asked for more.”

“We said we’d take it slow and that’s okay,” you said. He squeezed your hand and nodded. “I don’t like you because you’re attractive or your hair is great or your arms are massive. Having fun with you is fun but that’s not why I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can give you things you want,” he said.

“Just give me you and that’s good with me,” you said.

“Okay,” he said quietly. You scooted closer to him, Jensen tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Let’s do it now.”

“Uh, what?” you said, taking a sip from your beer.

“The kids aren’t home and I don’t want to wait and-”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you said, knocking back your beer and flipping the cardboard down over your pizza. He stared and you burped, picking up the box. “There’s like six slices left and this is too good to waste, even for sex.”

“You have literally never been more attractive than in this moment,” he said. 

“I could be.”

“I’ll see you at the house in twenty?”

“Yes you will Ackles.”

Forty minutes later you hand was slapping against his headboard, legs squeezed so tight around his waist you were shocked he wasn’t complaining. You moaned loudly as he teased your clit and he delivered one more hard thrust. He grunted as you gripped his shoulder with your other hand.

“Jensen,” you breathed out. “I’m right there. Please, please, please…”

You arched your back when he thrust hard, fingers rubbing just a bit rougher and you came all around him, every muscle tensed and riding out that high, long, deep, absolutely perfect orgasm. Jensen thrust a few more times before he groaned and rested his head on your shoulder, big panting breaths fanning over your skin. 

He was sweaty but pulled out slowly, plopping down on the bed beside you, hand resting on his chest.

“I don’t know about you but that was good,” he said. “Damn good.”

You giggled between breaths, nodding your head slightly. You tilted it over towards his, Jensen already staring at you with soft hooded green eyes. 

“Definitely damn good,” you breathed. His lips tugged up into a smile, warm and gentle, his head inching closer to you. You sat up and leaned down to kiss him, Jensen breaking off when he needed air. You trailed a finger down his chest before climbing out of bed and excusing yourself to the bathroom. After you cleaned up you found Jensen chucking the condom in the trash and wiping himself off quickly. 

“Come here you,” he said. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to the bed, laying you down carefully. “I’m big on after sex cuddling just so you know.”

“I find that to be a very attractive quality,” you said as he lay down. He reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed the bunched up blanket, pulling it over the two of you. His arm slid under your head and he pulled you into his side, encouraging you to use him as a pillow. “You’re warm.”

“So are you,” he said. He kissed your temple and let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I never thought I’d be able to do that ever again. Let alone not feel bad about doing it,” he said.

“You okay?”

“I’m great,” he said. “Really. I know Dee would have been telling me to not worry so I didn’t. I don’t...I feel like I can talk about her again, you know?”

“You used to call her your wife a lot. Recently you’ve been saying her name more. I think you really are healing, Jensen.”

“I knew the second you left earlier I messed up. I dropped the kids off at Jared’s and then I wound up at the cemetery. I saw these purple flowers there. It’s kinda a different flower but they were her favorite. I’ve only ever told one other person those were her favorites,” he said. You traced your finger over his pec and rested your palm flat on his chest. “Why’d you put flowers there?”

“Why wouldn’t I Jensen?”

“That’s how I knew I can stop being so scared when it comes to you. Purple fucking flowers. You’re just…”

“I love you too,” you said, giving his whole body a squeeze. He returned it, holding you for a long time, neither one of you saying a word. It wasn’t until you noticed the light starting to change in the room that you both moved. 

“Y/N,” said Jensen when you sat upright. You looked over your shoulder, a smile on his face. “Do you want to stay upstairs with me from now on instead of your room? It’s okay if-”

“I’d love to,” you said. “To be honest, I slept up here the other night.”

“You did?” he asked as you nodded.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said.

“I know three little faces that really missed you too,” you said. He smiled and nodded. “Let’s go get the rascals.”

______

A/N: Read Part 9 here!