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purplefangirl42 · 1 year

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Keep You In Sight

Summary: Brasso wants you to stay safe, and stay where he can see you.

Pairing: Brasso/Fem!Reader

A/N: This is a birthday gift for my beloved friend @sherwood-forests 💜 A sequel to the other Brasso piece I wrote for her called "Port in the Storm". Takes place during the events of the Andor Season 1 Finale.

Tags/Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Fluff, Slight Angst

Divider by @saradika

The rain pattered against your roof, the sound echoing through your whole house as you sat by the window looking out into the street. You hoped it would let up soon and wouldn’t continue to be like this tomorrow. The last thing you all needed was to have to trudge through mud. This was going to be hard enough as it was.

Brasso had stopped by to let you know what the plan was going to be for the next day. The Empire had put all sorts of stipulations in place as to what could be done and what couldn’t. They had said only 40 people could be present, which you knew would never hold up. Anyone who knew Maarva, which was almost everyone, would be there. You were sure of it.

Before he had left, Brasso had given you a quick peck on the cheek before quickly escaping into the rain to head home. Things had been a bit awkward since the first time he had kissed you. Despite the feelings rushing through the two of you, despite the first step already having been taken, you were both at a loss about where you stood. All you knew for certain was that you cared about him so much that your heart ached in his absence. That single peck had sent a shock down to your toes that you could still feel hours later.

You shivered and wrapped your arms around yourself, taking one final glance out at the rain before turning away from the window and walking towards your bedroom. You knew sleep wasn’t likely with how wired you felt, but the sooner you at least tried to sleep, the sooner tomorrow would come and you could all say a proper goodbye to Maarva and hopefully move on as a community.

A knock at your door the following morning grabbed your attention from where you were putting the finishing touches on your appearance for the day. You walked over and opened the door to reveal Brasso standing on the other side.

“Can I come in?”

You stepped aside and gestured for him to enter. You were surprised that he wasn’t in his uniform yet, and even more surprised that Bee wasn’t with him.

“Is something wrong?” you asked. “What’s going on?”

Brasso stopped, his gaze facing the interior of your place rather than you. You could see the tension rippling through his shoulders, even through his clothing. Moving around him to stand before him, you placed your hand on his arm gently.

“Brasso?”

“He came back.”

You felt your brow furrow in confusion as you tried to figure out what he meant. Who had come back? After a few moments of contemplation, you realized exactly who he was talking about.

Cassian.

He must have heard about his mother’s passing and come back to pay his respects, which was the last thing he should have done. Everyone would be better off if he stayed away and never came back, at least while the Empire had a presence on Ferrix.

“Is he insane? He’s going to get arrested, or even worse, killed. Did you meet with him?”

Brasso nodded, still avoiding your gaze. You felt anger and frustration bubbling up inside you at his confirmation. It was bad enough for Cassian to put himself at risk, but the fact that he continued to put others at risk was even worse. You bit your lip in an attempt to keep the angry words you wanted to shout from escaping.

“You’re upset, I can tell,” Brasso said, finally looking at you. “You always bite your lip like that when you get mad.”

Your glare must have been enough to confirm his suspicions. Brasso sighed and stepped towards you, taking your hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“It’s alright. Nobody saw us.”

“You don’t know that,” you hissed, trying to pull your hand from his grip. “We still don’t know what’s happened to Bix. I don’t want to lose you too. Which is exactly what will happen if you do something stupid.”

Brasso refused to let go of your hand, tightening his grip and pulling you towards him. You struggled slightly, but eventually gave into his wishes and let him pull you to him. Once you were close enough, he released your hand and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against him.

The awkwardness was nowhere to be found, only the warmth that had always been there. You returned Brasso’s embrace, burying your face in his chest. You could hear his heart beating against your ear, a reassuring sound that you hoped wouldn’t go away anytime soon. The two of you stood together, wrapped in each other’s arms, for several minutes before Brasso finally pulled away from the embrace.

“I should go get ready. I came to get you so we could arrive together. I don’t want you out of my sight when all those Imperials are around.”

“That will be hard since you’ll be marching with the funerary stone. This ceremony is more important than watching me, Brasso. I won’t be in any danger.”

Brasso lifted a hand to caress the side of your face, his eyes boring into yours. His statement about not letting you out of his sight felt a bit more serious than you thought it had originally been intended to be. The feelings bubbling up inside you were overwhelming, forcing you to break away from his intense gaze. You lifted your hand to place it over his.

“We’ll stick together as much as we can, I promise. Now let’s go show these Imperials what Ferrixian loyalty is all about.”

It was early afternoon, much earlier than the time the Empire had allotted, when the first clang of the anvil rang through the town. Everyone had gathered in the streets, preparing for the march down Rix Road. The Daughters of Ferrix and the band stood in their uniforms, ready to begin their trek to the center of town. You stood amongst the other townsfolk, waiting for the signal to begin walking.

“It’s time,” Brasso’s voice said from beside you.

You felt his hand brush softly against yours as he passed, a simple reassuring touch. Remembering his request that you stay where he could see you, you took a place on the edge of the crowd as it began to move, keeping him nearby.

The band began to play its mournful tune and the entire crowd of gathered people slowly moved down the street in an organized procession. Anyone that wasn’t marching themselves moved out of the way, allowing the crowd to pass unstopped. In the background, you could hear the clang of the anvil every so often, its deep resonating tone blending perfectly with the music of the band.

As the procession got closer to the center of town, you could see a line of troops clad in black blocking the street. The Empire was clearly unhappy with the change of plans and would not allow anything to go further than absolutely necessary. The crowd came to a stop, the music stopping along with it. Your eyes followed Brasso’s form as he walked through the crowd to the front, Bee wheeling along behind him.

Once he reached the front, the stone held in front of him, the band began to play again. Gone was the sorrowful tune they had been playing before, replaced by one much more upbeat. One that spoke of unity. The crowd began to move once again, walking straight towards the awaiting troops. Your voice joined the chant of “stone and sky”, repeating the words over and over with each step.

Just before reaching the wall of shields the Imperials had erected, the band began to turn, forming a circle around Brasso and Bee. Following the lead of the crowd, you line up outside the circle, never letting Brasso out of your sight. You felt his sentiment echo in your heart, feeling that need to keep him before you at all times. Once again, everyone came to a stop and the music came to an end. Those gathered, Ferrixian and Imperial alike, waited silently.

A soft whir sounded before a brilliant blue light shot up into the sky from the holoprojector on top of Bee. A giant image of Maarva Andor stood before the crowd. The sight was enough to pull your gaze from Brasso, wanting to honor the woman you had all gathered to remember, wanting to hear what final words she wanted to say.

You listened intently as the hologram of Maarva spoke. She spoke of the history of Ferrix, of how they had flourished. How everything had changed with the Empire. The fighting spirit you had always admired in her shone brightly in her expression as she told you all to stand firm and to fight against those that would push you down and trod upon you.

A shout pierced the crowd as an Imperial officer pushed his way past the shielded troops towards Bee, pulling his cloak from his shoulders to cover the projector, an attempt to silence Maarva’s call to action. He failed, however, to mute her final words.

Fight the Empire!

At those words, the officer shoved Bee over, knocking him on his side. You barely had time to react before you saw Brasso move forward, kicking the man in the chest and knocking him to the ground. You felt your heart stop as two troopers stepped forward to restrain him from attacking the man further. They didn’t get far before he swung Maarva’s brick at them, hitting one in the face.

You felt more than heard the yell he let out, surging forward with the crowd towards the line of troops. You had no weapons, but you could feel the energy of the angry crowd pushing you forward, willing you to do something. Willing you to follow Maarva’s call.

The troops fought back, keeping their shields up to prevent the crowd from getting too far. The loud tones of the anvil sounded above it all, encouraging the townspeople, rallying the fight. After some time had passed, you noticed Wilmon moving closer to the Imperials, his hand in his bag. Before you had a chance to react, he pulled something from it and threw it over the line of troops.

The first explosion nearly knocked you off your feet. The following ones from the grenades reacting did. Your ears rung, all sound around you disappearing. Smoke covered everything and you couldn’t see a thing. Including Brasso. A deep panic settled in your chest as you crawled across the ground, trying to get away from the center of the commotion. Eventually, you reached a wall and braced yourself against it.

Through the haze, you swore you could see a large red shape fighting off ones of white. You had no way of knowing who it was, no way of knowing if Brasso was safe or even if he was still alive. A figure appeared in your field of vision, one clad in red, but not the one you searched for.

“Come on, girl!” Jezzi shouted, pulling you to your feet. “We need to leave!”

You let her guide you into an alley, nearly running into another pair as you ascended the steps. You felt your knees give out and a sob of relief escaped your lips as you saw Brasso dragging Wilmon up alongside him by the collar. With his other hand, he tightly grabbed yours and the four of you ran as fast as you could to the edge of town.

When you reached the shipyard, you found Pegla waiting for you. He had pulled Bee from the chaos and placed him on a ship. Waving erratically, he ushered the rest of you aboard. Jezzi and Brasso worked together with Pegla to get the ship going as you guided Wilmon to sit on the floor of the cargo hold. It wasn’t long before another pair emerged from the edge of the shipyard, moving quickly towards the ship.

Cassian and Bix.

You helped Cassian maneuver the weakened Bix onto the ship and guided her down to sit beside Wilmon. You could hear shouting behind you, but paid no attention to it, hearing only “Gangi Moon” and Cassian’s shout to get you all out of there. Before you knew it, the ship was rising into the air and you, Wilmon, Bix, Jezzi, and Brasso were flying to Maker knows where.

Leaving the two on the floor, you moved towards where Brasso sat panting against the back of the ship. He looked up at you with the most relieved expression you had ever seen cross his face. He reached for you and pulled you down into a tight embrace.

“I thought I lost you,” he whispered into your hair. “I saw you go flying when the second explosion hit and then you disappeared and I couldn’t find you.”

No words could express the relief you felt when you saw him on the stairs, likely the same he felt at that moment if he thought you were gone. Unable to find anything to say, you squeezed your eyes shut and rested against his chest as he rocked you back and forth. You could swear you heard him muttering something else, repeating over and over like a mantra, but you didn’t dare hope he was saying what you thought you heard reach your still ringing ears.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

A/N: Give this a like, comment, and reblog and let me know what you think!

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars andor #andor 2022 #brasso andor #brasso x reader #brasso

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pbandjesse · 2 years

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Me and James are in the car in Philadelphia! It has been a long day but I got to see Jess and spend time with my husband and things have been great.

I slept pretty well last night. My nose was very runny last night and very stuffy this morning. So it was not. Amazing. But it was fine. I woke up felt pretty good overall.

I had wanted to wash my hair this morning but decided not to. I will do that tomorrow morning. Even if it made me pretty uncomfortable today. I liked my outfit and was in a good mood.

I didn't have anything to make for breakfast so I left here and headed to the museum and got McDonald's for breakfast. I ate in the car. And headed inside to see James.

After I said good morning to James. And went to the back where O'Malley and John were talking. I enjoyed their conversation while I worked on my countdown embroidery. I am really excited for this project.

The group came around 930. And so they went to give their tour. I went to set up my chase for the print shop.

Which was not easy. Whoever did it last sort of messed it up and it felt falling apart. And then the presses themselves were printing right. It was very frustrating. I made it work but there was a lot of cursing.

I hung out with Kaitlyn while we waited for the next program to start. And it was fun gossiping with her. And just talking about life and work. And then the college students started coming in. And they sounded so fun!! Lots of laughing. I was looking forward to the program.

And it would go really well. I was up with my printers. And it was a good time making prints. They were to hard on themselves when things didn't go perfectly. But like, we had fun and we made all the prints we needed.

My store was much different then normal because they were college kids. So we talked more frankly about how the workers would end up in debt and the realities of the time. And I think the had a lot to think about and it was nice talking to them. They had great questions.

Since my job was done I would go and make cans. O'Malley and Kaitlyn would join me and we would have a good time chatting and gossiping. I heard someone call that "giving the field report" and I love that idea. Puts us all on the same page. And it was nice making cans. I haven't done that in a while.

John joined us once he went to check on the presses. I told him all the issues I had been having and he agrees that the plates need to be redone. Hopefully that can get done soon because it's only going to get worse the more it gets used.

At 1 I went to give James a little break at the desk. It was a very busy day and they were pretty tired. So they went for a walk. Brought me a donut back. And I hung out at the desk with them until the group asked if I could watch the lunchroom with their bags until the group came back from the waters edge. They had a lecture about water quality and oysters. So I would chill in there. Jordan would come and join me and told me gossip from a different job. And we talked about our goals for this year.

He also had more fabric for me. Some good cotton stuff. So we would go and take that to the car. Before we went back to the break room and I finished my embroidery for the day! It's the first official day for my countdown project. I hope my embroidery gets better this month. It's nice to have the solid start and end and a good idea. Makes me feel good.

The day slowly wound down. And I went to sit with James until the end of the day. And the it was time to go! We had a long drive.

Jess was having a hard day. And lucky for her we were going to be within 45 minutes of her at James's friend's house for a game night. And so we invited her. And I even made sure they ordered a gluten free pizza because her work has had two pizza parties in the last month that she couldn't participate in and I thought it would mean a lot to her.

The drive out was nice. Though the sun was in my eyes a lot, reflecting on the side mirrors. But I was able to make three squares for my blanket. And enjoyed the podcast James chose. It was a nice ride.

It was very cold when we got there. But we found parking and headed over. There was a lot of people there!! I was surprised. I felt a little bad but I was focused on nothing but my phone, waiting for Jess to let me know she was there. Only a few minutes after us.

James went to get her. I had a piece of pizza. And then she was here. And we were so anti social. Posted up at a table by ourselves. We didn't even talk to Amy of the other girlfriends. We were just very focused on each other. We ate pizza and expanded on all our texting. We are always texting but we don't get the nuance so this was perfect. And eventually I set up a board game since it was technically a game night. And we played a game called "Ticket to Ride" where you try to build a railroad. As all indie games tend to, it has way to many rules, so we modified it a little. But it was so fun. And Jess won by our rules of counting points as we went. And I won if you just tallied the points at the end. So we both won and that was great.

We were there for a few hours. And it was lovely. But me and James still had to go into the city itself to see Noelle and Evan. And so it was time to say goodbye. Hugs all around. And then we were off.

Evan and Noelle's new place is so nice!! A cute townhouse. I would absolutely love living there. And I enjoyed the tour. They also had a couple gifts for us. They got me an excellent calendar made by a local artist and a little kitty paw cup. Super thoughtful. Love those guys.

We spent the next couple hours talking about all our medical nonsense. James accident. Trip ideas. The cats. Art. I love their company. I am so glad we were able to come out and spend time with them. I love how much Evan gets my work and Noelle make some feel very heard.

As it came to be 10 Evan made James so coffee for the road. And we had to say goodbye.

And now we are heading back to Baltimore. We should make it home by midnight. And then we will go right to sleep.

We have off tomorrow. And I think James wants to bike. I want to make stuff. I hope it's just a really nice day.

For you as well. I hope you got to spend time with people you love. Goodnight everyone. Take care of yourself!!

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the-duckless-pond · 2 months

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Patiently waiting for my grocery order so that I can tuck in and stay in bed for the rest of the day. Today has been super rough and it hasn’t improved.

It started off just fine and normal, but it feels like my meds never truly kicked in or something. I don’t know. Maybe it was the noise. My apartment building felt loud today. One of my neighbors had like 7 kids over earlier and they only left a few hours ago.

The list of things I need to do today is growing. I still need to clean the litter boxes. Easier now that I have a big trash can to put the waste bags in. I have to put ash my groceries and wash my vegetables. I can do that when they arrive. I need to vacuum before the movers bring my furniture tomorrow. Increasingly unlikely to happen as I have been attempting to summon the will to do that since 8am and it is now almost 5pm. But we shall see. Maybe it’ll happen. Maybe I’ll force myself to do it tomorrow.

I can at least move the cat tunnel so that it is out of the way of the movers for tomorrow. I can do that much. And I can turn on the AC and close the windows and put my hoodie back on since that makes me feel safe. I can turn on the white noise machine my mom got me after I found out there were kids here and that should help some. I can lay down when my groceries arrive and tuck in and post my chapter and watch a show and feel safe under my weighted blanket.

Also there is someone living in this building that mistakenly buzzes my buzzer at least once a day. My buzzer does not always work, so that’s a blessing. But I hate it and it makes me super anxious. I would go down there and ask them to stop buzzing my number but I am terrified of doing that and refuse to be perceived by any of my neighbors and wish for total anonymity so. Yeah. That’s a problem that I just have to live with. Maybe they are pressing it on purpose and whoever used to live here would let them in? Maybe it’s an accident and they mean to buzz one of the numbers close to mine? I don’t know. I wish it would stop, though. It’s pretty anxiety provoking. Jarring. Especially when you are not expecting it and you have PTSD. Not pleasant.

I haven’t heard from my best friend in about a week now. I am still texting her updates on my life because that is what I do, but I hope everything is okay. I miss her when she goes quiet like this. Today I can’t remember what I texted her about, but I’m sure I will send at least one more before the day is done. So far they have all been basically updates on the move and how I am feeling since she knows I’ve been struggling.

Update: I have moved positions and now I am camped out in front of the big living room windows. I have to plug my phone in soon so it won’t last long, and I kind of want a fun drink of some sort so I will have to move back near somewhere with an outlet where I can set my drink. Which is a bummer, because I am tired of sitting where I was against the wall and also kind of sore. Maybe I’ll move to the bed. Use the extension cord and plug my phone in and watch my grocery delivery updates like that.

Oh! I did finally make a therapy appointment, though. I haven’t been in like a month. It’s for early next week, at which point I will have internet and my furniture and the rest of my things. And hopefully I will have ordered a real bed by then. I’m starting to get sore from the air mattress. Reminded of the time I was assaulted and, by myself, hauled the entire bed and frame to the dumpster and slept on the floor until I could afford an air mattress. I suppose this is better than that. However that was quite liberating on some level, I do have to admit.

I would feel bad about this getting kind of long but I don’t think anyone reads these or cares, and it’s my diary entry so I’m allowed to make it as long as I want. Tumblr will cut it off below a read more at a certain point anyway.

Trying to decide what kind of fun drink I want. Maybe a smoothie? Or another decaf? I guess I could order dinner and get whatever fun drink the restaurant gives me. Between my agoraphobia and my needing to stock a larger pantry and fridge since now I can cook again after having to do microwave meals for so many years since I didn’t have a real kitchen, I’ve done enough grocery orders this past week that I have a bunch of credits for restaurant orders. Seriously, like $40 credits or something. I don’t know how they work, but that might cheer me up. I’d have to look at my budget to see if I can afford it.

I guess I’ll stop this here. My grocery order is on the way. Once that gets here I’ll figure out dinner and then work on posting my chapter.

#diary entry

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rottiens · 5 months

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RIGHT it’s so frustrating 😭 it’s a horrible feeling. people look at me like i’m mad when i tell them i don’t like the heat/summer 😵‍💫 it’s just such and overwhelming feeling, that’s the best way i can describe it.

yes! i agree, it’s lovely to watch it from my window, but when i have to be out in it for ages, and my hands get sore bcs they are cold, i just wanna come back home 😭

it is! everything is just so fuzzy, when i watch a show or movie, for example. i really struggle to read the subtitles bcs they are just so blurry 😭 so i’m hoping i can get something sorted out soon!

and thank you sm ! i’ll make sure to be careful<3 i can read close up, but it has to be quite close. it’s when it’s a little further away i start to struggle 🤔 oh yeah i’ve heard of those! i’ve never tried audiobook, but i’ve heard lots of good things about it, so i’ll have to take a look. thank you!

aww thank you! me too 🤍 i went on the swings with her and i can’t stay on them as long as i used too, i get dizzy and tired within like 10 minutes now 😭

ah, so i’m not alone with the caramel, huh? it’s deff not as easy as i thought it was gonna be, and i too haven’t touched it since, but i will deff try again! :3 and thank you! you’re so right, it’s a lot of trial and error, we’ll never learn if we don’t make mistakes 🤝 i’m glad to hear that, thank you, and hopefully i will get better too! i bet you make absolutely delicious dishes 😋

aww thank you sm! i gladly take the hug and send you one back<3 on nooo, i’m so sorry to hear that, it’s really frustrating when that happens 😭 i’m glad you managed to get it going and back on again though!

good luck, good luck! i hope everything goes smoothly, and exactly! having a positive outlook on life attracts positive things:) i hope you’ve had a wonderful day, and i hope tomorrow will be just as lovely for you too! 🤍

i think calling it overwhelming is the more correct word :( it puts me in such a bad mood, i just hate it. at least you can cover yourself from the cold with coats, scarves etc but tell me what do i do about the heat if i can't stand to be in comfortable clothes/shorts etc. no thank you

today it started raining and i got terribly wet (now i'm sneezing) and all i could think about was this conversation >:( i love the rain but it's so annoying when you're outside and it starts raining

and audiobooks >> are very good, I hope you give them a try because I am not exaggerating when I tell you they have changed my life. Plus I feel like I can be more productive, I just listen to them when I'm cooking or doing something else that doesn't require so much attention

and speaking of dishes 🤭 yesterday i made chipotle style burritos and ngl they were not as good as i thought lskd the sauce was so so good, but it's like i told you, it's all about failing and trying again, so even though i was a little disappointed i plan to try again. I cooked shrimp today and they are one of my favorites, I made them in garlic and cream and chefs kiss, I still have a few left over that I plan to make later in the week.

thank you so much for all the nice wishes <3 💋 now I'm just looking forward to read this weekend and relax and enjoy myself on my brother's birthday, the rest of responsibilities I'll be piling up for Monday lol I hope you can enjoy your weekend too my dear.

#asks #lovers ₊˚ᰔ #🤍🤍🤍

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jimmycartersufo · 6 months

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this is me having the Tuesday foh museum employee version of Sunday scaries. I love using tumblr as a sort of diary right now especially when writing my hand causes pain!

the last two weeks of work have been especially rough and this week I have some tough stuff to get through that I'm nervous about but it'll be OK. I just struggled with the unknown. time always moves too quickly this time of year and I'm desperate to hold on to my days off because I am so burnt out. the problem is when you're in between those biweekly checks and you're broke as hell but also it's been pouring down rain. I can't help but feel bad and guilty when I do nothing. I didn't do just nothing, I took care of my mom today and I've rested a lot but it still feels weird and bad.

I'm almost back to being in the green for my sick time. I used up all my sick time and my boss had payroll give me negative sick time which was a life saver. I miss my boss so much. everything has gone to shit without her. but she deserves so much better. clearly. anyway, in a couple weeks I'll start to see actual sick time build up again. and on July 1 I'll get more pto 🤡 but thankfully at least Juneteenth falls on a Wednesday so we will have a three day weekend. The museum won't pay it's workers more or respect their security dept (which is historically and systematically Black) but they will do land acknowledgements if they happen to put up a work by a Native person (aka no permanent land acknowledgement lol) and they'll give us Juneteenth off with pay. oh and back of house gets more pto than foh but I'm not here to list alllllll of my complaints rn. but we as a team are counting down the days so we can have a three day weekend. like yeah holiday pay on a day we already have off (every gov holiday that falls on a Monday) but would rather have a floating holiday for more pto. abyway I should hopefully have some sick time built up in a couple months to take a day off for rest.

falling behind on chores again. desp need to spring clean dust because ofc I have to be a maximalist autistic. still need to wash my beach combing finds from a few weeks ago. still need to hang stuff up. the most I can do is pick up a little. do a load of laundry but share the labor with my husband because we don't have the capacity for either or alone. do dishes maybe. make breakfast, lunch, and John makes dinner. take care of mom which is hard sometimes but more than anythjng it has to be done and I can trick my brain into not being an asshole about it. make the bed but in a more "lazy" way. take care of myself and stick to my barely there routine. medicine with alarms, brush teeth, set out the clothes I want to wear at least a day ahead but two days if possible. shower when it's been too long. lotion on my face and my arms and my legs if I can tolerate it. drink water. try and keep my salt levels up. stretches even if it's in bed. my daily puzzles. learn something new (read an article and or a wiki page).

at least tomorrow we get paid. I have to save money for when we go to an Orioles game soon. need to figure out when and how and where we are viewing the eclipse. grocery shopping. taking care of mom if dad is working late/in traffic. look over what bills are do this check. thankfully we get paid I think three times this month? JK it's may we get three paychecks but thankfully I get paid the week of my mom's birthday!!!!!!

I work on late shift this month. bad because no extra money but good because I am so fucking exhausted. I'm basically a sorta manager without all the manager roles and Def not the pay. but that's basically what I am now. thinking about it makes me sick. I goofed up somewhere to end up here with this responsibility. but also it was happenstance. I understand that. and that I have been masking so well for so long.

it's autism awareness day. I am autistic. I am finally feeling right with that. it's been over a year now, and I've spent that time reflecting on my life and the way I am. I was lucky that my sister has been in programs and I basically knew a guy that knew a guy that knew a guy. but I don't have like, a therapist or anthring to guide me through the realities of hey you're autistic and this is why you think and do xyz. I wish I listened to autistic friends years ago that said hey you're autistic and I was like no not me, I don't do this thing but the thing is a lot of those things I didn't think I did I literally did not understand the questioning which is funny. I can't really think of a good example but like you read a question like do you struggle to make eye contact and irs like yes but only in certain circumstances like when I don't know someone but you don't have the way to answer with nuances so you just say no. not the best example but it's like that. what's so interesting about being diagnosed late is you start to kind a breakdown the safety nets of masking and then it seems like you're faking because you're doing all this stuff not in private anymore, like you're regressing or something and it's like no I was just playing a role.

today for dinner I had chicken nuggets and heinz pickle ketchup and we watched a video about being in wdw on 9/11 and I was like oh

rigut now I'm trying to follow my night routine but I'm so anxious to sleep. I did sleep in really late today after sleeping poorly and then getting up to take care of mom in the morning. I woke up just before noon after going back to bed about nine???? so I'm not very tired. I'm going to go figure out my lunch for tomorrow so I don't worry about it in the am and then I'm going to check the laundry and if it's dry enough get my favorite pair of undies (tomboyx boy shorts) and my favorite pants (green!!) and find a top and then make the bed comfy and then I'm gonna use my new neck massager even though I've probably used it too much today and I hope to find a nice wiki article to read :)))))))

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calamityandme · 1 year

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Oh man, so update: our AC is officially broken again? Never was fixed really from last time, but was cooler because it wasn’t as hot the past couple days? Who knows.

Our landlord is going to get us a new AC unit either Friday or Monday. Until then, he has leant us a couple box fans to help get air circulating.

It sucks that the house is 83 F. It blows that we have a few more days of this. However, I feel content at the moment.

I’m laying in bed with two fans going at once in my proximity. One large box fan blowing hot air outside, another smaller fan blowing air directly on my face. It’s magical.

Not only do I feel cooler than yesterday, we were given food today! I worked this morning and my boss/friend “S” gave us some of their frozen meals they wouldn’t eat.

We have food! I feel very loved and fortunate. So fortunate to have people in my life who can give me their old food they don’t want or just help me out in ways they don’t realize. It saves us money that we can put directly to paying bills so it means so much.

I want to be a figure like that for other people. Someone who shows love with food and little gifts that make people feel seen and heard. I hope I’m not a charity case sort of friend that people feel forced to give things to me.

I want to return the favor when we are in a better place. Maybe I will bake some things for my friends that helped me out.

Another development, my partner has to get a letter from his old employer stating he hasn’t worked there since January haha. It’s the only thing holding us back from approval to take care of two big bills. One bill we have an impending disconnect notice.

It’s annoying but at least it’s something we can get hopefully soon. We need to get it to them by the end of this week. Fingers crossed his old work is quick with the letter.

I got to eat lunch (my breakfast but at lunch time) with R and her daughter S before I went back home. We ate Culver’s. It’s a very American fast food restaurant. So much cheese, very buttery/greasy buns, but once you try it once you’ll keep coming back.

I got onion rings and a double butter burger. I ate my rings and a couple bites of my burger before deciding to save the rest of it for my next meal. Even though I knew I had food at home I found myself doing it instinctively. Not a bad habit I guess. Leftovers are great.

Now it’s been a couple hours since I got off work and I am still not sure how to spend my time.

Our internet is shut off (not a priority compared to utilities so we’ll pay it once everything else is okay) so I can’t watch anything on a TV, but I can watch media on my phone. My service isn’t the best so sometimes the show or movie I’m watching will buffer for a couple minutes at a time. I can survive lol.

I’ll find something to occupy my time. Maybe another cold bath. I’ll listen to my audiobook from the library.

I’m currently listening to one of my favorites: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender. I listen to it on my phone through Libby the library app. I’m 26% through it. I’ve read it many times but have never actually finished it. I’m hoping to finish it this time.

Update: It’s 85 F at 8 PM lol. I was cool at points when it was closer to 81, but now I am rough. I’m sticky. Humidity has taken my hair and won’t let go. Landlords said they may be able to come over tomorrow to at least start the AC process

#journal #broke #diary #my diary #diary posting #blog #blogging #books #writer #writing #the particular sadness of lemon cake

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endless-summer-soldier · 3 years

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confessions

summary: Bucky can’t find the courage to share his feelings for you, so he gets a little help from an old friend.

pairing: college!Bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption, some profanity

word count: 4k

a/n: this is my submission for @pellucid-constellations love letter writing challenge! this is also my first ever Bucky fic so I hope people like it! I have a few more fics in the works that I will (hopefully) be posting soon. any and all feedback is greatly appreciated :)

“Buck…are you listening?” Steve nudged him.

“What’s that?” he snapped back to his friends.

“Could you be more obvious?” Sam added.

“What?”

“The minute Y/N walks into a room you completely lose focus.”

“That’s not true,” he defended.

“And…she’s heading this way.”

“What?” Bucky panicked, running fingers through his hair. Sam and Steve chuckled as Y/N and Natasha joined them at the table.

“Hello boys,” Y/N said. Natasha planted a fresh pitcher of beer in the middle of the table along with a stack of plastic cups.

“You are the best girlfriend a guy could ask for,” Steve said, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

“I knew there was a reason you kept me around,” she winked at him.

“So what are you guys doing tomorrow night?” Y/N asked.

The boys looked at each other and shrugged, “Probably just hanging out here.”

“Not anymore. Nat and I are hosting a little end of semester party at our place and I expect you all to be there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve said.

“Perfect, party starts at 9! Don't be late. Oh there’s Thor. I’m gonna go invite him,” she said, departing from the table with her beer in hand.

Sam, Steve, and Natasha all looked at Bucky.

“What?” he feigned innocence.

“That was real smooth,” Sam said.

Bucky looked at them all confused until Steve added, “You’re completely in love with this girl and you don’t say one word to her?”

“I’m not in love with her!” he denied, though they all knew he was full of it.

“Buck…” Natasha sighed, “I’m doing the best I can to help you out here but you’re not helping yourself.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to her.”

“She’s a person. Just talk to her like you would anyone else.”

“But she’s not anyone else. She’s…perfect.”

“Oh here we go again,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Buck, we’re about to graduate. You’re gonna miss your shot,” Steve added.

“I’ve seen you pick up women before, you know what you're doing,” Sam commented.

He put his head in his hands, “I know, but Y/N’s just different. I’ve never had it this bad before.”

“You need to shoot your shot or else you’re going to regret it,” Sam said. Bucky nodded his head, knowing he was right.

“Talk to her tomorrow night. Have a few drinks to loosen you up and just go for it,” Natasha advised.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Just tell her how you feel,” Nat said.

“Think it over tonight before you go to bed,” Steve suggested.

Bucky hastily agreed and while the conversation shifted, he felt like he needed to sort out his thoughts. He finished what was left of his beer in one sip, “I’m gonna head back, I’ll see you guys at home.”

It was a short walk from the campus dive bar to Bucky’s apartment and his head was spinning. He kept trying to rehearse what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. He walked into the apartment and dropped his keys on the counter top, immediately heading to the fridge for another beer. He thought the alcohol might help him relax and sort through his feelings. Yet the words felt all jumbled up in his head. Then an idea hit him. When Bucky was a kid and he argued with his sister, his Ma always made both of them write a letter to each other to get their feelings out and sort through why they were so upset. That always gave him clarity on the situations, so what better way to organize his thoughts now. He grabbed a notebook and sat on the couch with his beer, determined to get his thoughts out.

Dear Y/N,

Since the first day I met you, I knew you were special. I’ve never had trouble talking to girls before, but with you I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing, so I tend to keep quiet. I have never been able to get you out of my head no matter how hard I try and I’m worried that I’ve missed my chance with you. Y/N, you are truly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, but more than that, you are exactly the kind of girl I’ve been looking for. I love that you get just as worked up as Sam when we’re watching a sports game. And I love that you treat every single person you meet with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it. I love the witty remarks you make seemingly without thinking. I love that you can answer almost every question on Jeopardy before the contestants even buzz in. I love that you are always doing things for others before taking care of yourself. Everything you do is perfect in my eyes. You are the type of girl I want to take home to introduce to my parents, and they would adore you. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’ve always had a huge crush on you and I’d be the luckiest guy in the world if you’d agree to a date with me.

Forever yours,

Bucky

He read the letter over and over again, trying to find ways to improve his words or add to it, but he ultimately grew tired. He ripped the page out of his notebook and folded it in half, writing Y/N’s name on the folded page. He finished his beer and retired to his room as he tried not to worry about tomorrow night’s party.

“Bucky!” Sam called, knocking on his door, “You almost ready?”

Bucky opened the door for his roommate. “Yeah I think so.” He looked himself over once more in the mirror, ran his fingers through his hair, and nodded.

“You look great. You know what you’re gonna say to her?”

“I wrote some of it out last night.”

“Let me see.”

“No way, it’s personal.”

“Come on man, I’m just trying to help you.”

“Dude, it’s fine.”

“Is this it?” Sam said, picking up the notebook paper with Y/N’s name on it. Bucky gave him a warning glare and Sam darted out of the room, reading the letter before Bucky caught up with him.

“Sam!” Bucky yelled, chasing after him. He lunged at Sam, but Sam was quicker and held him off. Bucky realized it was too late and he slumped into the couch with discontent.

“This is really nice and I can tell it’s genuine, but you can’t say this stuff to her. It’s gonna scare her away. You have to build the foundation first.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Bucky asked, growing frustrated with his friend.

“Just talk to her, find something that you can connect with her on. And then if things go well, ask her out.”

“I’m overthinking this so much.”

“You just gotta be yourself and if she doesn’t like you then she’s crazy.”

“You guys ready to go?” Steve suddenly emerged into the living room. Sam and Bucky nodded, grabbed their keys from the kitchen counter, and left for the party.

Bucky took a deep breath as he stepped inside the party. There were a lot of familiar faces which put him at ease and Nat greeted them with a round of tequila shots which helped cut his nerves. He had to stop overthinking. He kept replaying Sam’s word in his head, just be yourself.

Bucky walked into the kitchen in search of a drink when he saw Y/N pulling a tray of jello shots out of the fridge.

“Hey Bucky!” she smiled at him. “Jello shot?” she offered him.

“Only if you take one with me,” he replied.

“You don’t have to twist my arm.” She handed him a plastic ramekin filled with blue jello and she took one for herself. “Here’s to…a great night,” she said, holding up her shot to tap Bucky’s.

“Cheers,” he responded and they both swallowed the tainted gelatin.

“They taste okay? Too strong?” she asked.

He shook his head, “Perfect jello to vodka ratio.”

She smiled, “Good, I’m gonna go pass the rest of these around. Oh, there’s a keg with cups out in the hall or if you want, you can help yourself to my secret stash of Miller High Life in the fridge,” she winked.

“Thanks Y/N.” She walked out of the kitchen to the party and Bucky helped himself to a beer from the fridge. He stayed in the kitchen for a moment to catch his breath. He considered that to be a successful interaction and it gave him the confidence he needed to continue.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard someone calling his name. He joined the party in the living room and found a folding table sprinkled with red solo cups.

“Come play beer pong,” Steve waved him over, as Natasha set up the game. Bucky was never one to turn down a challenge and moved to the opposite side of the table.

“I need a partner,” Bucky scanned the room looking for Sam.

“Oh I’ll play!” a familiar voice said. Bucky froze and noticed the knowing smirk on Natasha's face. Y/N slid in next to him and elbowed his arm, “You think we can take ‘em?” she said.

“Absolutely. I hear you’re a stud at beer pong.”

She smiled and shrugged, “I won’t deny that.”

Y/N and Natasha each took a ball for the face off that would determine who would shoot first. Y/N sank a cup easily, while Nat’s shot hit the rim of a cup and bounced into Bucky’s hands.

“You wanna shoot first?” he asked her.

“No, you go,” she offered. Bucky lined himself up at the table and took his first shot, sinking the front cup.

“Oh, we’ve got this,” Y/N smiled. She stood at the center of the table and tossed the ball with a casual ease. Her shot sailed through the air and easily landed in one of the back corner cups. Steve and Natasha groaned in tandem as they pulled the corner cup away and rolled the ping pong balls back to the other side of the table.

They beat Steve and Nat with ease and welcomed their next challengers, Thor and Loki. The two continued making shots at a rapid pace and they found themselves running the table as a line of people formed to play them next. As the victories poured in, they became more comfortable with each other. The celebrations started with high fives which quickly turned into double high fives, and then suddenly, Y/N was lightly massaging Bucky’s shoulders as he focused on the cups for his upcoming shot. The contact intensified as they secured a come from behind win by sinking the last two cups back to back. Y/N made the last shot and immediately jumped into Bucky’s arms and he picked her up and spun her around. It happened so naturally and Bucky couldn’t help but notice his nerves had evaporated away and his overactive mind had shut off.

Eventually Nat came in and put an end to beer pong, clearing the table for flip cup instead. Bucky left the room to use the bathroom and when he returned, Y/N was nowhere to be found. He assumed she’d join in on flip cup but he didn't see her in the crowd. He caught Natasha’s eye and like a mindreader she signaled to the back porch and gave him a sly smile. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and headed outside.

Y/N was out on the back deck, studying the night sky. When the door opened, she turned around and eased up when she noticed it was Bucky.

“Hey,” was all he said. He stood next to her and placed a can of beer in front of her.

“Thanks,” she said, cracking the beer and taking a sip.

“Not a fan of flip cup?” he asked, trying to make conversation.

“I just needed a break from winning,” she joked.

He chuckled and said, “We make a pretty good team, huh?”

“We do,” she smiled at him before returning her attention to the sky.

“But seriously, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. I was just feeling a little claustrophobic in there. Needed some fresh air.”

“I get that. I can leave if you want some alone time. I’ll guard the door and make sure no one else bothers you.”

“No you should stay. It’s nice to have some company.”

They sat in silence for a while, staring up at the sky. Bucky drank his beer to find the courage to speak up.

“The stars are really bright tonight. You can see a bunch of the constellations.”

“You know constellations?” she asked. He nodded and she asked, “Will you show me?”

He moved a little closer to her and pointed up to the sky, “See that really bright star right there? That’s the North Star. And that’s the end of the Little Dipper’s tail.”

“Okay I see that.”

“And then from the North Star, if you move to the right…that first star forms the bottom of the big dipper.”

“Oh wow.”

“Now look a little bit lower and you’ll see three stars real close together in a row.”

She was quiet and her brow furrowed as she scanned the sky. “I’m not…” she trailed off, “I’m not seeing it.”

Bucky took a step closer to her and he hovered his head right above her shoulder to better see from her vantage point. He pointed to the three stars in question and connected them with his finger.

“See right here?” he spoke into her ear.

“Oh…yeah I see it.”

“That’s Orion’s belt. And if you move up there…those are the shoulders. And down here are the legs.” He traced the outline of the constellation as he spoke.

“That’s amazing,” she breathed. She turned her head towards him, their faces inches apart. “How do you know all this?”

“I took an astronomy class last semester.”

She let out a small laugh and he did the same before adding, “I know it’s not a great story.”

“No but it’s cool that you know this stuff. Show me some more. He continued to show her the constellations that he knew until he eventually ran out. They stood there together in silence, hearing nothing but the muffled music from the party, reminding them of the other world waiting for them inside.

“So what’s your plan after graduation?” she asked him.

“I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I know I’m gonna go back to New York and stay with my Ma for a bit. Other than that I don’t really know. What about you?”

“I’m heading to New York too actually. I got a job working in finance on Wall Street.”

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

She shrugged it off, “It’s fine. It’s mostly just because of my parents’ connections that I got the offer. I’m not even sure if that’s what I want to do.”

“Yeah but at least it’s a start. If you don’t like it you can always make a change.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Well maybe I’ll see you around, in New York,” he added.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She studied him for a moment and he tried to ignore it but he couldn’t.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I’ve never seen this side of you before. Truthfully, up until a few hours ago I didn’t think you liked me very much.”

He looked at her with a confused look, “That’s impossible. Everyone likes you.”

“I don’t know, you’ve always been a little cold towards me. And I wasn’t sure if it was something I did or said or if you just didn’t like me. But I’d like for us to be friends.”

“Y/N…” he started, running his hands through his hair as he reviewed the bullet points in his head.

“Oh god, you don’t want to be friends do you?”

“No, no it's not that. But I want to tell you that-”

“Hey Buck, ready to head home?” Sam interrupted, sticking his head out the back door.

“Yeah just give me a minute.”

“Come on man, pizza place closes in 5.”

“I’ll…I’ll meet you there.”

“Oh it’s okay Bucky. You can go. I should clean up a little bit anyway,” she said. Bucky gave her a forced smile and walked toward Sam to head back inside.

The minute they reached the street, Bucky punched Sam in the arm.

“You fucking asshole!”

“What the hell man?” Sam said.

“I was just about to tell her.”

“You were out there for hours man, I figured you’ asked her out already.”

Bucky sighed, “I’ll never have that chance again.”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll all work out.” Sam was always so happy-go-lucky when it came to love and it frustrated Bucky to no end. As they walked home, he tried to focus on the positives instead of his missed opportunity.

Nat woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Steve was propped up next to her, reading his latest World War II book.

“Good morning,” he said and she groaned in response.

“Did I really leave my own party early?” she asked.

“You did,” he confirmed.

“Why did you let me do that?” she whined.

“You were insistent and you know how you get when you’ve made up your mind.”

“I guess that’s true,” she took a deep breath and added, “I should probably get back and help Y/N clean up.” She climbed out of the bed and gathered her things, determined to get home before the hangover truly hit her.

When she went to grab her keys from the counter top, she noticed something. There was a piece of notebook paper folded in half with her roommate’s name on it. Natasha snatched the paper, opened it up and read the first sentence. It was a love letter. From Bucky. Nat didn’t read any further, but she slipped the note into her bag as she left. She knew this was probably never meant for Y/N’s eyes, but she thought Bucky could use a little nudge in the right direction.

Bucky woke up with a smile on his face. Despite how his night ended, he played over the memories of the night before and realized he connected with Y/N. He felt like there was a definite potential for more, so he decided to make another opportunity for himself. But first, he wanted to reread his words. He went to grab the letter from his dresser only to find it wasn’t there.

“Ugh, Sam…” he said to himself. He walked out to the living room searching for the letter. “Where did he put it…” he said to himself. He pounded on Sam’s door, waking him up. “What?” he said through the door.

“Where did you put the note?”

“The note?”

“Yes…the note…”

Sam opened the door, “I thought I put it on the counter when we left.”

“Well it’s not there.”

“It has to be there,” Sam said, rushing past Bucky. He glanced around the room and it was nowhere to be found.

“It’s not here,” Bucky reiterated.

“I’m sure Steve just threw it out. You know that he doesn’t like clutter.”

Bucky stared daggers into him and Sam retreated into his room. Bucky tried to ignore his unease and focus on his next move.

“Hey there roomie. How ya feeling?” Y/N asked as Nat trudged through the door.

“How do you think?”

“There’s coffee in the kitchen if that helps.” Nat poured herself a cup and joined Y/N on the couch in the living room.

“I have something for you.” Natasha pulled out the letter from her purse and handed it over.

“What is this?”

“Just read it,” Nat said, trying not to obviously study her roommate’s reaction.

Y/N read the letter and her expression shifted multiple times, ranging from flattery to confusion to happiness. She subconsciously put her hand over her heart as a blush crept up her face. When she was finished, she looked up at Natasha in confusion.

“What is this, Nat?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, I didn’t read it but I found it sitting on the counter at the guys’ house when I left.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Go talk to Bucky,” Nat said, as if it was obvious what she should do next. Y/N sat there, contemplating what her options were and concluded that Natasha was right. Y/N went to take a long shower in an effort to rinse off her hangover and delay the awkward talk she was about to have with Bucky.

Bucky was working on crafting a text to Y/N when there was a knock at the door. He stood to answer it, assuming it was Nat to hang out with Steve, but he was surprised to find Y/N standing on his doorstep. He then realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt and his cheeks immediately flushed as he noticed her looking at his sculpted abdomen.

“Hi Bucky,” she breathed, finally meeting his eyes. “Can we talk?”

He scratched the back of his neck and Y/N watched his bicep flex and tried to hide the impact his muscles were having on her.

“Come on in,” he opened the door for her and she made herself comfortable on the couch. “I’ll be right back,” he announced as he fled to his room to grab a shirt. He re-emerged into the living room with a skin tight t-shirt and sat next down with her on the couch.

“So what’s up?” he started.

“Well…” she said, as she pulled out the letter.

“Shit,” he exhaled. “Where did you get that?” He immediately tensed up.

“Nat gave it to me.”

He froze for a second, trying to understand how that happened and when he solved the puzzle he immediately put his head in his hands, “She must’ve grabbed it from the counter.”

“It doesn’t matter how I got it, but can we talk about it?”

“Y/N, you were never supposed to see that.”

“Well why not?” He looked up at that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Y/N, I think I’m in love with you?’”

Her breath caught in her throat. Hearing those words come out of his mouth was unexpected. But what was more unexpected were the butterflies dancing around her stomach as her cheeks flushed.

“Is this how you really feel?” she asked, holding up the letter.

He made eye contact with her but all he could do was nod. She let out a deep sigh and he couldn’t look at her. He leaned forward, forearms on his thighs, as he stared down at the floor. She didn’t feel the same way. He could tell from her demeanor that she was about to let him down lightly.

“Bucky…” she reached out and placed a hand over his, “it’s just that…we’ve wasted so much time.”

He looked up at her, waiting for more, “I’ve had a crush on you forever dude.”

“What?” He looked at her in disbelief.

“As much as I enjoy spending time with your roommates, there was a reason I was always hanging around with you guys.”

“So…what are you saying?” he said, unable to form coherent thoughts.

She did the first thing that came to mind. She reached over and placed her hands on his jaw. She gently rubbed the stubble on his cheeks with her thumb and she said, “I’m saying that I like you.” She smiled and looked at him with adoration and Bucky couldn’t help himself.

He slowly leaned forward, giving her plenty of time to pull back. But she didn’t. It almost felt like she was pulling him in ever so slightly. He paused when they were centimeters apart, more out of uncertainty than anything. But she closed the gap, unable to stand the tension any longer. Their lips brushed together, softly at first. And then he felt her mouth curve up into a smile and he gained confidence. He moved one arm around her waist and his other hand landed on her jaw as he intensified the kiss. She moved her hand from his jaw to the back of his neck and her fingers played with his hair. The two pulled away, out of breath and a huge smile spread across Bucky’s face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Mmm…I think I do,” she said, glancing at the letter.

“You’re never going to let that go are you.”

“Are you kidding? I loved it. No one’s ever done that for me before. Even if it wasn’t completely intentional.”

He kissed her again and he didn’t want this moment to ever end. Bucky realized he’d have to thank Nat, and Sam for that matter. Without them he wouldn’t be here. They parted yet again and Bucky said, “Not that I want you to leave, but you should probably go home and get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.”

“Really?” she beamed at him.

He planted a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose, “Darling, I’ve been waiting years to take you out. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

She pecked his lips and said, “Pick me up at 8.” She gathered her things and he walked her to the front door. She stepped outside and then turned around before she walked away.

“I’m really glad you wrote that letter, even if you weren’t actually going to give it to me.”

He nodded and pulled her into a tight hug, “Me too.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #loveletterswritingchallenge #bucky barnes fanfic

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farfarawayinthelandof · 3 years

Note

Hi! I saw you don’t have any miraculous stuff yet. Can I request a Marinette x f! reader. Reader is new to the school and quickly becomes her friend and Marinette doesn’t know how to react when she finds out reader has a crush on her. She realizes that she fell for reader while she was hanging out with Adrian. Please.

MARINETTE X FEM!READER ONESHOT

Thank you so much for your request(s)! I absolutely love this one.

fem!reader

warnings: none!

ੈ♡˳·˖✶

As the students of Francoise Dupont got into the routine of the new school year, there was a last minute transfer. That transfer being you, Y/N. You were full of excitement and nerves to finally be starting at a new school, thrilled to meet new friends, but also nervous, for fear of being left out. Your fears has faded away, however, when you met your new classmates, especially her.

Her being Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the class president tasked with showing you around for the day. She had a creative and talented personality, and a helping attitude, and every task, favor, and assignment never seemed to be a problem, or worry for her. You weren't sure if you wanted to be her, or with her.

By lunchtime, you had figured you wanted to be with her. You had also figured that half the class felt the same way, how could they not?

As you walked to the restroom at the end of lunch with Alya and Rose, about a week after you had first been introduced, they struck up a conversation about Marinette.

"You and Marinette are getting close? Should I have to watch my back so you don't replace me as her BFF?" Alya asks, with a light tone. Rose laughs.

You inhale sharply. "No! No, it's not like that! I would never! I-"

"Girl, relax." Alya laughs. You ease up a little bit. "I'm just teasing you. All the girls in our class are tight."

"Oh! That's nice to hear! I hope we can all be great friends."

Rose and Alya nod. "But anyway, about Marinette. You like her, don't you?" Rose asks.

'Was it that obvious?' You think woefully.

"I guess. But I know she likes Adrien." There was no point in hiding it. You trusted the two girls, and it was just a little crush.

Rose opens the door to the bathroom, holding it for you and Alya. As you thank the blonde, Alya speaks up. "I what it feels like to like someone who doesn't like you back. Nino used to have a crush on Marinette. Come to think of it, pretty much everyone in our class has had a crush on her at one point or another." Rose nods, laughing as she sprays some perfume on herself.

"Adrien?" You ask.

"That boy is absolutely clueless. His skull is *ahem* very thick. He's so dumb, for someone so smart." Alya says.

Rose agrees thoughtfully.

After your conversation with Alya and Rose, you return to your seat with newfound hope. Marinette must know Adrien is hopeless. Feeling bold, you come up with a plan.

ੈ♡˳·˖✶

Marinette had only known you for a few weeks, however, she had already felt a connection with you. She was really looking forward to becoming better friends.

On another note, Marinette had also made plans with Adrien later in the day. She had been looking forward to this project ever since she had been paired up with the young model.

Stopping at her locker, she noticed you walking towards her. You looked nervous. Had you forgotten your locker combination?

“Hey Marinette!” You said, voice masking the uncertainty you felt.

Marinette smiled, turning her attention towards you. “Hi, Y/N!”

“So, um… I was wondering - and I know this might be sudden - but I was wondering if you wanted to go out… together?”

To say Marinette had been taken aback would be an understatement. And while she liked the forwardness, Marinette had to turn you down. Who knows what could happen with Adrien tonight, even if he’s a bit clueless?

“Y/N. Listen, I… Uh, appreciate-”

You sigh. “Let me stop you right there. I understand. Hopefully we can still be good friends.”

Marinette sighed in relief. “Yeah, friends!”

You nodded towards Marinette, signaling goodbye. Well, you tried, right? And they say you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.

The ravenette couldn’t help but feel guilty as she walked to Adrien. Why were you the only thing going through her mind when Adrien was right there?

This question had repeated itself throughout Marinette’s head all afternoon.

Until she realized.

Marinette felt a connection with you she never had with anyone else. It was a deep admiration, but not putting you on a pedestal, no. She saw you as real, and attainable. Unlike Adrien.

“Hey, earth to Marinette! You look a bit pale..” Adrien says, confused.

“Heh, sorry Adrien.” How was she supposed to face you tomorrow? Somehow, Marinette knew she blew it.

‘Oh, I’m no good at love!’ Thought Marinette, woefully.

The next day, you greeted Marinette as usual. But she couldn’t help but want more. And you couldn’t, either. But what were you two to do? Wasn’t any chance you two would ever be together destroyed?

After school, it had begun to rain. You sighed in defeat. You didn’t have an umbrella, and your parent(s) were at work. There was no one to help you. You tried to ask Alya or Nino for a ride, but they already left before you could.

Damn.

“Hey, Y/N?” Said a timid voice.

You turned to find Marinette, sheltered by the school’s roof, standing behind you.

“Hi, Marinette!” You say cheerfully. You are doing your best to make sure that your confession doesn’t get in the way between you two.

“If you don’t have an umbrella, you can use mine” She said, smiling nervously.

“Oh no, I couldn’t. My parent(s) will be off soon, I can wait for them.”

“Please… or at least walk back to my house until you can get picked up.”

You struggle for a bit. That did sound like a good deal. Plus, you could show Marinette that you could be friends and not make it weird.

“Alright,” you say.

“Perfect!”

You and Marinette begin walking to her house, talking about all sorts of things, like new video games, the best ways to bake cookies, and current fashion trends. The conversation flows naturally, never leaving an awkward moment between the two of you.

Marinette now knew 100% that it was you, not Adrien that she liked. Everything with him felt forced, but with you, it was all natural, and so fun.

You both walked into the bakery, Marinette holding the door out for you while you walked in. You greeted Marinette’s parents having already met Tom at a school function.

Marinette walks you to her room where you both spend the afternoon playing video games and procrastinating homework.

It gets a little quiet after Marinette wins the match for the hundredth time, and she looks over to you.

“I’m… sorry. I hope my rejection didn’t make things awkward for us.”

You smiled, albeit fake, reassuringly. “No, no! It’s totally fine.” Not really sure what else to say, you stop there.

Marinette looks down at her hands. “The thing is, yesterday… when I was at Adrien’s house, I realized that I…”

Your internal dialogue was going crazy. ‘Oh my gosh, does she not want to be friends?! Doesn’t she want to be more than friends?! Please, spill it out!’

“… I really like you” Marinette finished.

Your head spins suddenly to face Marinette, giving you whiplash. You cannot believe what you just heard.

“You… do?” To be honest, you weren’t even 100% sure she liked girls.

Marinette nods.

But now… everything has changed. You smile to yourself.

“Cool”

“Cool?!”

“Yeah,” You say. “Let’s go out. Right now.”

“Right now?!”

“Yes!”

Grabbing your shoes in coat, with Marinette en suite, she grabs the black umbrella, and you both bid goodbye to her parents.

“Alright, where to first?” You ask her, laughing.

“I think I know just the place.”

“Well then, please,” you gesture your hand out to her. She grabs it. “Lead the way.”

I tried to not make this too long/dialogue heavy. I hope you liked it!

no beta, we're dying like men

#mlb x reader #miraculous ladybug x reader #marinette x reader #reader insert #oneshot #fluff #angst with a happy ending #x reader #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #miraculous ladybug

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secretswiftymarvelfan · 3 years

Text

Call me babe for the weekend - Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: You and Chris talk things out after you wake up to his late night message.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Angst, Alcohol Consumption, SMUT 18+ ONLY

A/N: This is a follow up to Call it Even, it can be read as a stand alone there just might be some context missing. Flashbacks in Italics

Masterlist

When you woke up this morning you weren’t expecting to find a missed called. Especially not from him. You also weren’t expecting him to leave a message.

All morning you flipped back and forth trying to decide whether you should listen to it or not. He hadn’t spoken to you in nearly a year and now he was suddenly leaving you messages in the middle of the night.

You told yourself that he was probably drunk, being back home for the holidays messing with his brain. Making him finally reach out after disappearing off the face of the planet.

However, no matter how much you told yourself to ignore it, there was always that little voice in your head. The one that told you to just listen to it, to maybe indulge in the scenarios running through your head. The one that told you that you missed him.

Because you did. You really did. No matter how much he hurt you. You missed him.

You eventually conceded. Grabbing yourself a glass of wine for good measure. Sitting yourself on the couch wrapping a blanket around you. You set your phone down on the coffee table and turn on the speaker. Taking a large gulp of wine as you hit play.

“Hey, it’s Chris, I just wanted to say I’m in town and was wondering if you wanted to meet up. I know I left things in a weird place last year and I’m sorry for that but if it’s the same to you it’s the same to me. I guess what I’m trying to say that the road not taken looks real good right now, that doesn’t make sense I’m sorry. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I meant what I said on new year’s and if you’d give me a chance to explain then I’d love to. I’m staying at my parent’s house so just swing by whenever you want. I miss you so much dot, your smile, sleeping in half the day, everything. I’ll see you soon hopefully”

You felt sick all of sudden, remembering the night he mentioned painfully clearly. The night you had tried to forget and explain away. The last time you had seen chris.

You sniffed back your tears determined not to cry. You had already spent enough nights crying over it already. You had wished that it was some stupid drunk message, a butt dial, anything else.

Despite knowing better, you hit replay. You mind getting stuck on the sentence ‘I meant what I said on new years’ because if that was true he wouldn’t have done what he did.

The more you thought about it the more you drank and the more you wanted to hear what he had to say. So before you could stop yourself you had picked up your phone and texted him.

‘Let’s talk’

He responded almost immediately asking you for a place and time. You settled on tomorrow, meeting him at Lisa’s house. Once it was all sorted you dropped your phone down on the table before downing another glass of wine.

When you knocked on the door the next morning you were relieved that it was Lisa that opened the door.

“Oh (Y/N) it’s so good to see you!” She smiles instantly enveloping you in a warm hug.

“Yeah, it’s been a while, is um Chris in?” You ask her rocking back and forth nervously.

“Gosh I feel like I’ve fallen through a wormhole back to when you two were kids” she laughs as she ushers you inside.

“Chris! (Y/N)’s here!” She calls up the stairs.

You felt your breath hitch as he appeared at the top of the stairs, jogging down them like he always used to when you were younger. Except this time, he had dodger hot on his heels.

“Hey, um I thought maybe we could take dodger out, go for a walk?” Chris suggests swallowing nervously.

“Um yeah sure sounds great” you agree nodding your head.

“Great, well um let me just grab my coat and snow boots” Chris says before walking off towards the backdoor where he left them.

“It is really nice to see you again (Y/N), hopefully we’ll see you again soon” Lisa says as Chris returns.

You glance up at him before clearing your throat and looking back at Lisa “yeah hopefully” you say with a small smile.

“See you later ma” Chris says as he leashes up dodger and you head out.

You and Chris walked through the nearby woods in silence. Neither of you knowing what to say. Just watching as dodger run through the snow.

At one point he ran straight over to you bouncing asking you to throw something. Bending down you quickly make a snowball before throwing it as far as you could. You smile dodger run after bouncing around confused when the ball broke. You glance up at Chris seeing him chuckling away before looking down at you with an awkward smile.

Silence once again falls between the two of you again before Chris finally speaks up.

“I’m sorry” he says making you glance up at him.

“For not calling, for just disappearing, for everything” he continues shaking his head.

You nod your head not really knowing what to say.

“Plans changed last minute and I had to leave early in the morning the next day, and I was so hungover I didn’t remember any of the night before, not our conversation, nothing” he sighed shrugging his shoulders.

“And when my memory started coming back it was months after the fact and I hadn’t heard from you, for understandable reasons, and I was just too scared to reach out because I thought I’d already ruined everything” he continued.

You let out a deep sigh as you processed everything he said.

“Well I guess that’s better than you standing me up because you changed your mind” you sighed making Chris stop in his tracks and look down at you confused.

“Wait what?” He asks furrowing his brows.

“Yeah we agreed to go out the next day and the local cafe, I waited for you but you never showed” you tell him.

He looks down at you completely shocked and you realise he didn’t remember that at all. Not even now.

“You don’t remember that do you?” You say slowly.

He shakes his head in answer “no, did we agree that out on the deck?” He asks.

“No afterwards, we went inside and I got pulled away by Natalie, you went and got a drink but then about an hour later you pulled me aside again” you explain.

After stepping back inside you hadn’t stopped smiling. Even when you were speaking to your friend you found yourself looking across the room at Chris. Whenever he caught you he’d smile in a way that made your heart flutter.

You had just walked out of one the bathrooms upstairs and were walking back down the corridor when a door opened and someone dragged you inside a room. You let out a noise of surprise as you were pushed against the door, a hand over your mouth.

“Sh sh sh” Chris says smiling down st you.

“Chris what are you doing?” You laugh when you pull his hand from your mouth.

“You really think you could keep looking at me like that and not do anything about it?” He smirks his hand moving to your hip.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You ask biting your bottom lip.

He smiled down at you before cupping your cheek and guiding your lips up to his. He kissed you hungrily, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. His tongue running along your lip before deepening the kiss.

His hands started travelling down your body, hand moving over your breasts massaging them making you moan quietly. He smiled into the kiss before moving to pick you up, wrapping your legs around his waist walking you over to his bed.

“Not gonna wine and dine me first?” You smirk when he drops you down onto the bed.

“I’ll tell you what, tonight we have fun and tomorrow we’ll go out for lunch at the cafe down the road from yours” he suggests as he moves to hover over you.

“Sounds like a plan” you smile as he kisses you once more.

“Its a date” he agrees.

You smile into the kiss wrapping your arms around his shoulders pulling his closer. His hands roam up and down your body, pushing the skirt of your dress up. You gasp when his hand brushes over your clothed core, hips rocking against his hands.

Chris smirked into the kiss as his hand slips under the waistband of your underwear. Letting out a breathy moan when his fingers run up and down your folds.

“Fuck, so wet” Chris groans as he continues to run his fingers over your core collecting your slick and running it up to your sensitive nub.

“Chris please” you beg your back arching, hips rolling.

“What do you want sweetheart?” Chris says as he kisses you down your neck.

“You, I want you” you say hands moving to his belt buckle.

“You have me sweetheart, always have always will” Chris smiles hands moving to meet yours pushing his trousers and boxers down.

His hands then found your underwear pulling them down and off. He settles himself between your legs. Erection pressing against you as he cupped your cheek.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He asks, thumb running over your cheek.

“Yes, I’ve wanted this for so long” you admit looking up into his bright blue eyes.

He smiles down at you warmly “me too” he says before kissing you deeply.

You both moan into the kiss and he slowly pushes into you. The feeling of him filling you up to point that it was almost painful was blissfully overwhelming.

You thought the feeling couldn’t get any better and then Chris started moving. The room filling with the sounds of both your moans and gasps. As chris brought up the pace his name fell from your lips like a chant.

Soon your orgasm crashed over you, leaving you keening beneath him as you cried out. Chris continues to thrust into you, working you through your orgasm while chasing his own. Groaning when he unloads himself before collapsing down on the bed beside you.

The two of you just lay there catching your breath. Smiling when you looked over to see him smiling at you already. He reached over brushing some hair out of your face before cupping your cheek and bring his lips to yours.

“We should probably head back downstairs before people wonder where we’ve gone” you sigh sitting up.

“Can’t we just have a few more minutes” chris complains trying to pull you back down.

You smile over your shoulder as you grab your underwear and slipping them back on.

“Play your cards right tomorrow and we can do this many, many more times” you smirk fixing your hair in the mirror.

“Don’t you worry about that, it will be the best lunch date you’ve ever had” he smiles.

“Fuck” Chris mutters when you finish recounting the night.

“Fuck I’m such an asshole, (Y/N) I’m so sorry” Chris says shaking his head.

You look down unable to say anything without the risk of completely crying.

“Everything I said that night, I meant it, every last word. I want you so much, I have for a really long time because I love you (Y/N) so much” Chris admit taking your hand getting you to look back up at him.

When your eyes meet his you try to see if he was lying but you couldn’t.

“Really?” You ask not really believing him.

“Really, if I could I would go back in time and re do that night the only thing I would change was how much I drank, so that I would never make the mistake I did, and maybe right now we’d be about to celebrate our one year anniversary because you’re it for me” Chris says cupping your cheeks.

You were unable to hold back the tears any longer, chris looking down at you sadly.

“I’m sorry I’m so so sorry” Chris says tears collecting in his eyes as he tried to wipe away yours.

“I forgive you” you stutter through the tears.

“You do?” Chris asks looking down at you in surprise.

“Yeah, because I love you to Chris, so much” you admit smiling up at him.

He chuckles smiling down at you before crashing his lips down on yours, making up for all the lost time.

PLEASE LIKE FOLLOW AND REBLOG

Masterlist

#Chris Evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #Chris evans x you #chris x reader #chris x y/n #fanfic

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 8) - Good Days, Bad Days

Summary: The reader has a special birthday surprise for Jensen and starts to get to know Jared more. When Jensen returns home from Toronto for good though, he and the reader have their first big fight and make more moves in their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, angst, fighting, smut

A/N: Enjoy!

________

Thursday Night

“So how do you want me?” asked Jensen, leaning against his closet door in nothing but his boxer briefs.

“Oh well that’s a dangerous question,” you laughed. “Jeans are fine for where I’m taking you.”

“Alright,” he said. He ducked into the closet and returned wearing only a pair of dark jeans, smirking at you with his hands behind his back.

“Being a little shit?” you asked.

“One of my best qualities,” he said. You hummed and went past him into the closet. “So what should I be wearing on this date out?”

“I’m kinda a sucker for you a henley and flannel. Not to let that go to your head at all,” you said.

“Oh you should never watch Supernatural then,” he chuckled, grabbing a long sleeve white henley off the hanger and pulling it on.

“I did sort of start watching it,” you said. “You look like a little baby that hadn’t hit puberty yet.”

“I got better with age, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Oh yes you did,” you said. “I like it. It’s kinda scary but not too bad if you watch during the day.”

“It gets less scary pretty fast,” he said, putting on his red and gray flannel. “I all set?”

“You look very pretty,” you said, walking out with him on your tail. “So does the show end happy? Like they live? It’s got this angsty feel to it where I feel like something bad is gonna happen.”

“Do you want me to spoil it?”

“Dean doesn’t like die, right,” you said. He made a face and you frowned. “No. Why? He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Eh, calm yourself woman. Things could happen in the future...he might not have to die...or he might come back and I really shouldn’t be discussing these things.”

“You’d do more?” you asked.

“Oh for sure. On a streaming network where we get to do all the shit we couldn’t on cable. Get some fresh eyes in on the writing or maybe we’d even take a crack at it. It’s not really an if, more of a when so don’t go worrying about Dean. I like my new friends at work and everybody’s great but I miss Jared and my old ones. I’m definitely working with them again.”

“That’s great! Now come on, move that tush. We have reservations.”

“Reservations. Fancy,” he said. He put on a pair of socks and shoved his wallet in his pocket, following you out to the hall when you spun around.

“Oh yeah,” you smirked. “You may also have a little birthday surprise waiting for your downstairs so eyes shut mister.”

“You’re devious. I like that. I like that a lot. We should explore that later in bed.”

“Tempting. I’ll have to take you up on that,” you said. “Eyes shut.”

You held his hand and he shut his eyes, going down the hall with you. You went slowly down the steps, Jensen’s arm around you the whole time. You grinned and walked him over to the family room before leaving him in place.

“Open,” you said. He blinked open his eyes, quickly landing them on a grinning Jared standing there.

“How the hell are you here?” said Jensen, Jared giving him a big hug he quickly returned. “Shit I missed you man.”

“Me too. But it’s someone’s birthday this week and I don’t have work tomorrow so I caught a flight up this afternoon. Y/N thought I’d make a good present.”

“Fucking awesome present,” he said, still grinning ear to ear.

“You doing okay?” asked Jared, Jensen nodding. He gave him another hug and you smiled. “So how’s that crush on the nanny working out?”

“Shut up,” said Jensen, smirking as he pulled you into his side. “Jared. I know you guys met already but Y/N is your soon to be best friend just as an fyi.”

“Oh we’ve already started chatting,” you said, Jared chuckling. “He’s really sweet. I had to legit stop him from jumping on a plane that second when I texted him he thought something was wrong.”

“I think between the two of us we can keep an eye on him,” said Jared. “So you mind if I crash your date?”

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m taking both you boys out. My treat.”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” said Jensen two hours later while he excused himself to the bathroom. Jared finished off the last of his beer and smiled as he leaned back in his corner of the booth.

“You know I’m totally covering this right,” he said.

“Dutch?” you asked.

“I’ll take the alcohol, you take the food.”

“That I can agree to,” you said, glancing over the dessert menu. “I’m really happy you were able to come up to hang out. I know you got your own family and everything and this was last minute.”

“He’s my family too,” he said. “I’d do anything for him. Literally. Don’t ever hesitate to call me, no matter when or where. I’ll be there for him like he’s always been for me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smile on his face like that before.”

“I have. You just didn’t notice that night at the bonfire.” You shrugged and he cocked his head. “How long you two been dating?”

“A month or so,” you said.

“You like him?”

“He’s alright,” you said, smiling before you took a sip from your glass.

“Thanks for taking care of him lately.”

“Don’t need to thank me for that,” you said, sliding the dessert menu over to him.

“Yeah but I’m still going to,” he said. “I meant what I said earlier. Between the two of us he’ll be okay again.”

“He’s never gonna be the same. He’ll be happy and it won’t hurt as much. But it’ll come back and hit him time to time.”

“There’s a reason he’s my best friend and it’s not just because we worked together for so long. He’s always been there for me and I’ll be there for him. I feel better about him being up here when he’s got someone else watching his back.”

“You had the hard job, not me,” you said.

“He’s come a long way. Doesn’t mean this is a cakewalk though I’m sure.”

“No, you’re right about that,” you said as you spotted Jensen returning.

“You guys order dessert yet?” he asked, sliding in beside you.

“Why doesn’t the birthday boy pick,” teased Jared, handing the menu over to him. “You guys ought to come home for a weekend when you get a chance.”

“It’s kinda a long way to go with the kids for just a few days,” said Jensen. “But we’ll be home soon. Hopefully.”

“I can get you a gig on Walker anytime you want it dude, just ask.”

“Maybe. I kinda want to get with the guys and maybe work on that Supernatural stuff. I need good stuff to look forward to, you know?”

“I do,” said Jared. “As long as you come home eventually I’ll learn to live with just using your jet skis in the meantime.”

“See what I’ve been dealing with for over a decade?” asked Jensen.

“Oh yes. He’s horrible,” you teased. “We really shouldn’t have him sleepover then, should we?”

“You’re staying at the house?” asked Jensen with a grin.

“Duh. I didn’t just fly a thousand miles to not see you dude. I’m here all weekend. Let’s have some fun.”

“Boys I’m heading to bed,” you said around two in the morning.

“Yeah we ought to go to bed ourselves,” said Jared.

“I’ll grab you some sheets and stuff,” said Jensen. You waved goodnight to Jared, heading down the hall towards your room when Jensen wrapped an arm around your waist. “I thought you were gonna sleep with me from now on.”

“I am. Want to check something real quick.”

“Hurry back,” he said. He kissed your temple and ducked into his room, leaving you in the hall. You went down to your own and checked your email, smirking when you saw what you were looking for. A rattling of fingers on the door made you glance up, Jensen smiling there. “Texting your other boyfriend?”

“No, I sort of...submitted one of my stories to a publisher. They’ve been talking to me this week and said they’d get back to me today on if they wanted to move forward. They want to do a five book deal. I already have the stories done and mostly drawn anyways. They gave me an offer just now.”

“That’s awesome,” he said. “Seriously. We’re gonna celebrate tomorrow for sure.”

“It’s no big deal,” you said.

“It really is,” he said. He picked you up and grinned, carrying you back to his room. “I’m proud of you.”

“They’re stupid stories,” you said.

“I love those stupid stories,” he said, setting you on the bed. “The kids do too.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re supposed to say that.” You set your phone on the nightstand and crawled under the covers, Jensen pulling you into his chest when het got underneath.

“My children think their mom is really okay now. They don’t get sad anymore and they ask questions about her again and I don’t want to cry every time I talk about her because your story reminded me that the wolf dad can be happy again for him too. That’s really fucking important to me right now in life.”

“Okay Papa Wolf,” you said. You grinned and he returned it. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you said as you answered your phone. “What’s up?”

“Jensen at work?”

“Yeah. Late night again,” you said. “He’s answering texts between breaks I think.”

“Cool,” he said.

“You need something?” you asked.

“No, no. I’m good,” he said. “Thanks. I’ll catch you later.”

“You doing okay?” you asked.

“Yeah. Just want to talk to him for a minute,” he said. He was a little quiet and you sat down on the couch.

“You want to talk to me?” you asked.

“That’s okay.”

“Jared...Jensen and I are starting to get serious which means we’re gonna be together a lot considering how you two can’t go more than a day without talking. We can be good friends too,” you said. He was quiet and you hoped you hadn’t sounded too corny.

“I uh, I have bad days sometimes. Really normal days can be bad days in my head. It’s kinda how I was built I guess,” he said.

“Nothing wrong with that,” you said. “Today a bad day?”

“Kinda. Nothing happened. I had a normal day at work and home. I’m just off. He um...Jensen makes me feel better as lame as that sounds. Just talking for a few minutes helps my head get on track that somebody really does care.”

“He’s very good like that,” you said. “I know you mean the world to him. You’re his brother. It’s not lame that he makes you feel better. You make him feel better too. I owe you a lot for taking care of him after the accident.”

“I much prefer when I’m the one freaking out and he takes care of me,” chuckled Jared. “You guys coming home soon?”

“He’s got a few weeks left of filming but I might head down a little earlier, try to get the house sorted out down there with the kids and stuff,” you said. “He’s literally counting down the days.”

“He really likes working on the show though I thought.”

“Oh he does but he’s got a big circle on the calendar for the fifthteenth called Jared day. I think your boy is planning something fun.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “You mind if I ask a personal question?”

“Shoot, buddy,” you said, stretching in your seat.

“Do you love him?” he asked.

“Going full throttle out of the gate I see,” you said.

“I know. I know how he talks about you though. There’s no...casual relationship with him.”

“Well I haven’t said it to him yet and he hasn’t said it to me so...maybe another time I’ll be able to answer that question.”

“It’s been almost four months. You get to spend more time together than most couples starting out. I’d think you know by now,” he said.

“I do. But he deserves to hear it before anyone else,” you said.

“So you love him.”

“Most things I love have a habit of going away,” you said.

“He won’t,” he said. “You do more than make him happy, Y/N. A lot more.”

“I just wish he didn’t hurt.”

“He hurts a lot less lately. Some of that’s time and some of it’s you. Enjoy being one of his best friends. He doesn’t let that many people in that close.”

“I know. We were supposed to be talking about you I thought.”

“Eh, sometimes I just need the talk. Thanks. I got somebody else I can call now too.”

“It’s never a problem,” you said.

“It’s getting late there. I’ll let you go. Thanks for talking, really. I feel better.”

“Anytime Jared.”

“You too, Y/N.”

Three Weeks Later

“Doug you’re a lifesaver,” you said as finished washing Jensen’s truck in the driveway back home in Austin. He smiled as he wiped off his hands and gave Arrow a wave goodbye.

“I owed you for that 3am incident,” he said. “You got easy kids. Mine are vultures.”

“Yes, yes they are,” you laughed. He gave you a kiss on the check and smiled as he headed back for his car, another one coming down the open driveway. “Later Doug.”

“Later,” he said. Jensen exited the back of the car along with his backpack and a suitcase, the car pulling out, Doug following after.

“Hey. How was the flight?” you asked.

“Who was that?” he asked, dropping his bags on the pavement.

“Oh that’s just Doug. He’s a nanny. I needed an extra set of hands today watching the kids trying to finish up these chores before you got home and it was perfect timing,” you said. You smirked and walked over to kiss him, Jensen taking a step back. “Something wrong?”

“You kissed him.”

“No. I didn’t. He kissed my cheek,” you said. Jensen narrowed his eyes and you scoffed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Seriously? He’s my friend.”

“That kisses you.”

“He’s affectionate,” you said. “Also he’s kinda married so you can tone it down with the judgemental looks.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re right. You should be able to kiss whoever you want despite being in a relationship,” he said. He grabbed his bags and brushed past you inside. You grumbled and went after him, finding him upstairs in his room. “What?”

“What stick is up your ass today? I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks. None of us have and you’re in a bad mood.”

“I was perfectly happy until I saw you kissing somebody else.”

“I wasn’t kissing him!”

“It didn’t look like that from my perspective.”

“Jensen.”

“Is this just a little game to you? You get bored of the older guy with kids finally?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Or maybe you just got caught finally.”

“I don’t cheat,” you said, getting in his face. “He kissed my cheek. I’ll call him to come back and explain this situation right now but I apparently you just think I’m a cheater.”

“Well maybe you are. Geez, we’ve been together over four months and no real sex yet? Cause that’s not sending red flags.”

“Because you weren’t fucking ready!” you shouted. “I’m not your wife and I’m never gonna be her. Don’t be mad at me for it.”

“No that’s for sure,” he said.

“The kids are in the front yard. Don’t expect me back today,” you said. You stormed downstairs and into your room, shoving some things in a bag before taking your purse and getting behind the wheel of your car.

You were seeing red by the time you were out of the suburbs. You slammed your hand against the wheel and shouted.

“You fucking asshole,” you said. You sniffled and drove for a bit before finally pulling off. You drove down a long road, rolling your eyes when of course you passed by his brewery. You’d never been but he’d told you about it more than once. You kept going down the road, eventually finding a park to pull into. You shut off the car and shut your eyes, a knock on the window making you jump. You put down your window when you saw a cop there and did your best to wipe off your face.

“You’re double parked,” he said.

“What?”

“You’re parked on the line,” he said.

“Sorry,” you said.

“Bad day?” he asked.

“Something like that,” you said. You could feel snot threatening to drip down your nose, the officer reaching into a pocket and handing you a tissue. “Thanks.”

“Best not to drive when you’re upset,” he said.

“Yeah. I’m just gonna sit here for a little while,” you said with a nod.

“Probably not a great idea to sit in a car next a playground,” he said. “The mom’s are kinda intense around here.”

“Of course they are,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why don’t you move your car and you can join me on my patrol,” he said. “It’s only a short walk. Fresh air might do you good.”

“Last time I talked to another man my boyfriend sorta freaked out on me so maybe not a good idea,” you said. You blew your nose and realized what you’d said, the officer staring down. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why don’t we take that walk so I can find out what you did mean.”

Two minutes later you were walking next to the cop. He had a baseball cap on and was in all black. You weren’t sure how he wasn’t boiling considering it was May in Austin.

“This boyfriend got a name?”

“You gonna run his name or something?” you asked.

“Do I need to?” he asked. You shook your head and he smiled. “He the jealous type? He get angry over you talking to other men?”

“It’s complicated.”

“If it doesn’t get uncomplicated I might have to pay this boyfriend a visit you understand.”

“His wife died last June.”

“Okay. I understand part of the complicated thing now.”

“Why’s he gotta be a dick? Called me a cheater,” you said. You crossed your arms and the cop chuckled. “Sorry.”

“As long as you don’t call me a dick we don’t got a problem. Did you cheat on him?”

“No. He...he works away and he just got home today and my guy friend was over helping me with watching my boyfriends kids while I did some chores and my guy friend is like, a really affectionate guy and he kissed my cheek as my boyfriend was coming in and my boyfriend thinks I was kissing him back and been cheating on him for the past three weeks.”

“Why don’t you just call the guy friend over to explain?”

“He got so pissed so fast and accused me of cheating. I’ve been dating him for nearly five months and he brings up the fact we haven’t had sex yet like that even matters when I’ve been holding back for him and he just blows up on me for fucking nothing,” you said.

“You’re both stubborn people, aren’t ya,” he said.

“Maybe,” you grumbled.

“Maybe this guy is scared and looking for a way out of the relationship. Or maybe he thinks you want out. You mentioned kids. That’s not easy.”

“He’s also...older. There’s an age gap. I was the nanny and now I’m the girlfriend nanny. He’s also kinda...famous,” you said.

“So there’s a lot of stress in this relationship then.”

“No,” you said, dropping your arms to your sides. “It’s not like that.”

“Maybe the dumb bastard just got scared of losing someone again,” he said. “Just a theory.”

“I wish he wasn’t scared,” you said. “I don’t know how to make him not afraid.”

“You ever think maybe he said that because you’re getting in there pretty good now and he’s getting real scared that losing you might hurt just as bad as this wife did.”

“He’s an idiot. But he’s my idiot,” you said.

“Talk to him. Get an apology and try to forgive him.”

“I already forgive him. I know him. He was scared and I got mad instead of realizing after so many weeks apart all he needed was a freaking hug.”

“Then go home and give him a hug,” he said.

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “I must have looked like a hot mess or something.”

“Oh for sure,” he chuckled. You smiled and he laughed. “That looks better.”

“Jensen probably left like five messages on my phone by now,” you said. The cop you were with paused and smiled. “What?”

“A kinda famous Jensen. There’s really only one of those in town,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah. Please don’t share that he’s dating. He really wants to keep things private for a lot of reasons right now,” you said.

“He’s my buddy.”

“Your buddy?”

“We went to school together,” he said. “In tenth grade he went for a slide on second base, ripped his pants right down the middle. His hanes bright blue covered ass still managed to get around to home base.”

“He split his pants in a baseball game?” you smiled.

“I know quite a few of his dirty secrets,” he said. “I don’t really know that whole acting thing but him I know and that must make you Y/N. You ever in trouble kid, ever just got a bad feeling and want a cop to come by, give me a call.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took his card. “You really think he’s a dumb bastard?”

“Oh knowing it’s him, 100%. Give him a break. We like him when he smiles,” he said.

“I’m gonna give him a call,” you said. “We should hang out sometime now that Jensen has a break.”

“Definitely. I gotta finish my patrol,” he said. “Take care Y/N.”

“Bye,” you said as you headed back towards your car. You pulled out your phone and saw seven missed calls and twelve unread texts. You tapped the screen and put the phone up to your ear, only ringing for a second.

“I’m sorry,” said Jensen.

“Me too.”

“I’m the one that...shit I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what happened.”

“You missed me and you were scared and seeing Doug probably hurt like a bitch,” you said.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be the stupid jealous boyfriend.”

“I’m not too far from your brewery if you want to meet there. Get a beer. Blow this over,” you said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. Stop apologizing. I want to give you a hug,” you said.

“I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes?” he asked.

“I’ll see you soon honey.”

“Hi,” said Jensen as you sat at a quiet table in the back, sipping on a beer and eating a piece of pizza. You smiled and stood up, giving him a hug. He tucked his head down and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey we survived our first big fight as a couple,” you said. “That deserves beer and pizza.”

He sat down next to you, forcing a smile on his face. You reached over and cupped his cheek, Jensen turning into it.

“Please forgive yourself,” you said.

“I don’t really want to,” he said.

“You called me a cheater. I get what I want today and that’s for you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

“Jensen,” you said, stroking his cheek. “I love you.”

He stared at you, a different look in his eyes, the tiniest sliver of a smile peeking through. You inched closer and slid your hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He felt softer than usual, lips barely moving against yours.

“I love you,” he said. He wrapped his arms around you and grinned. “I have loved you for a very long time.” You kissed him again, Jensen returning it.

He left his arm around your back, smirking when you did the same to him.

“Can we forget about earlier?” you asked. He nodded and rested his head on your shoulder.

“One last I’m sorry though,” he said.

“Just don’t call me that again and we’re all good, Jens,” you said. “Now eat some of this pizza so I don’t feel like a glutton.”

“I don’t have to slip into a superhero costume any more so dad bod here I come,” he chuckled.

“Does that mean Solider Boy meets some untimely end?”

“No spoilers,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ll be going back to that show. At least as often. I know I want to direct an episode of walker in the fall. I talked to Jared about it actually so that’ll be fun. I might do a duck and run guest appearance on it. I’ll line up something for next year but I want to be home for awhile, do work around here.”

“I know quite a few people who would be more than okay with that,” you said.

“Don’t make any plans for Saturday,” he smirked.

“I thought you were having your Jared day tomorrow.”

“Oh we are. Gen invited you and the kids over. She’d like to get to know you. You’ll love her,” he said.

“So what’s Saturday then?” you asked.

“I’d like to take you and the kids out on the boat. We haven’t been since before the accident. Maybe we can go out for dinner and put up the tent in the backyard, have a sleepover out there with the kids.”

“That sounds fun.”

“And...I’d like to maybe next week take you out for the day, just us, maybe...spend the night somewhere,” he said.

“Like a hotel?” you asked.

“Yeah. Or the kids can have a sleepover at Jared’s. Maybe.” He glanced down and you moved your arm from his back, reaching behind yourself to hold his hand. Green eyes flickered over to yours and you smiled. “I’m-”

“You know if you keep apologizing about earlier I’m not going to have sex with you,” you said. “That’s just facts.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “No more apologies. Aside from...I really am sorry about what I said. I’m the one that’s been holding back and not once have you asked for more.”

“We said we’d take it slow and that’s okay,” you said. He squeezed your hand and nodded. “I don’t like you because you’re attractive or your hair is great or your arms are massive. Having fun with you is fun but that’s not why I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can give you things you want,” he said.

“Just give me you and that’s good with me,” you said.

“Okay,” he said quietly. You scooted closer to him, Jensen tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Let’s do it now.”

“Uh, what?” you said, taking a sip from your beer.

“The kids aren’t home and I don’t want to wait and-”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you said, knocking back your beer and flipping the cardboard down over your pizza. He stared and you burped, picking up the box. “There’s like six slices left and this is too good to waste, even for sex.”

“You have literally never been more attractive than in this moment,” he said.

“I could be.”

“I’ll see you at the house in twenty?”

“Yes you will Ackles.”

Forty minutes later you hand was slapping against his headboard, legs squeezed so tight around his waist you were shocked he wasn’t complaining. You moaned loudly as he teased your clit and he delivered one more hard thrust. He grunted as you gripped his shoulder with your other hand.

“Jensen,” you breathed out. “I’m right there. Please, please, please…”

You arched your back when he thrust hard, fingers rubbing just a bit rougher and you came all around him, every muscle tensed and riding out that high, long, deep, absolutely perfect orgasm. Jensen thrust a few more times before he groaned and rested his head on your shoulder, big panting breaths fanning over your skin.

He was sweaty but pulled out slowly, plopping down on the bed beside you, hand resting on his chest.

“I don’t know about you but that was good,” he said. “Damn good.”

You giggled between breaths, nodding your head slightly. You tilted it over towards his, Jensen already staring at you with soft hooded green eyes.

“Definitely damn good,” you breathed. His lips tugged up into a smile, warm and gentle, his head inching closer to you. You sat up and leaned down to kiss him, Jensen breaking off when he needed air. You trailed a finger down his chest before climbing out of bed and excusing yourself to the bathroom. After you cleaned up you found Jensen chucking the condom in the trash and wiping himself off quickly.

“Come here you,” he said. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to the bed, laying you down carefully. “I’m big on after sex cuddling just so you know.”

“I find that to be a very attractive quality,” you said as he lay down. He reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed the bunched up blanket, pulling it over the two of you. His arm slid under your head and he pulled you into his side, encouraging you to use him as a pillow. “You’re warm.”

“So are you,” he said. He kissed your temple and let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I never thought I’d be able to do that ever again. Let alone not feel bad about doing it,” he said.

“You okay?”

“I’m great,” he said. “Really. I know Dee would have been telling me to not worry so I didn’t. I don’t...I feel like I can talk about her again, you know?”

“You used to call her your wife a lot. Recently you’ve been saying her name more. I think you really are healing, Jensen.”

“I knew the second you left earlier I messed up. I dropped the kids off at Jared’s and then I wound up at the cemetery. I saw these purple flowers there. It’s kinda a different flower but they were her favorite. I’ve only ever told one other person those were her favorites,” he said. You traced your finger over his pec and rested your palm flat on his chest. “Why’d you put flowers there?”

“Why wouldn’t I Jensen?”

“That’s how I knew I can stop being so scared when it comes to you. Purple fucking flowers. You’re just…”

“I love you too,” you said, giving his whole body a squeeze. He returned it, holding you for a long time, neither one of you saying a word. It wasn’t until you noticed the light starting to change in the room that you both moved.

“Y/N,” said Jensen when you sat upright. You looked over your shoulder, a smile on his face. “Do you want to stay upstairs with me from now on instead of your room? It’s okay if-”

“I’d love to,” you said. “To be honest, I slept up here the other night.”

“You did?” he asked as you nodded.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said.

“I know three little faces that really missed you too,” you said. He smiled and nodded. “Let’s go get the rascals.”

______

A/N: Read Part 9 here!

#supernatural #spn #jensen ackles au #Jensen x reader #Jensen Ackles #rpf #Jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #Jensen Ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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ecliptsukki · 3 years

Text

his delinquent phase ❧ kaoru sakurayashiki // cherry blossom

navigation | music

➣ genre: fluff

➣ warnings: adam’s existence

➣ request: can i request a one shot where you’re cherrys s/o and like childhood best friends with joe and cherry and adam and you’re gushing over cherrys old bad boy look with piercings and everuthing and cherry one day goes to S with his piercings and hair the same way as before just to see you fawn over him skjfks

➣ a/n: this took me three times to type up because the first two times i did it, tumblr thought it would be funny to delete it. i’m not sure if i love how this came out, but it’s still better than my original plan. hopefully this was correct to what the anon requested. enjoy!

ps: i’m also going to be going on a trip for four days tomorrow, so i’m not sure if i’ll be able to post. i’ll definitely try to start working on my other requests!

You had known Joe, Cherry, and Adam ever since the four of you were in high school. Out of the three, you had met Joe, first, not soon before you met Cherry.

You were walking down the eventful streets of Okinawa, admiring the sights and getting accustomed with the area. You had moved to the city not too long ago and already were growing attached to the place. In your defense, the city was your perfect and desired location to live in.

A gentle breeze blew through your hair, rustling the leaves of the green trees. You sighed at the feeling of the cool breeze tickling your warm skin. Not long after that breeze had gone, another, harsher breeze blew past you. You flinched at the abnormally sharp wind, snapping your head to the side, in its direction. You were met with honey red eyes and short, green locks, swaying.

The male slips past you, stopping abruptly.

“Sorry about that,” he smiled, embarrassed, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You were in awe, seeing what the boy was standing on, and on alert because you had always been taught to be cautious around strangers, especially when you were walking alone.

“Um, no. I’m alright, just shocked,” you shrugged, replying quietly.

Another harsh, but gentler than before, wind blows past you, revealing a pink-haired male. He had three piercings on his ear and one on his lip. Half of the boy’s face was hidden by his long bangs, allowing your focus to lock on his golden eye.

“Watch where you’re going,” he snaps at his green-haired friend. “Sorry about him,” he apologizes, giving you a polite smile.

All the sirens were going off in your head.

He has so many piercings! Is he a delinquent? Are both of them delinquents? If they are, I can’t fight them off on my own. What do I do?

“I’m Kaoru,” the bubblegum-haired male suddenly said, “This is Kojiro.”

Kojiro nodded at you, an embarrassed blush still grazing his cheeks.

“Hey, aren’t you the new kid?” Kaoru asked, finding your puzzlingly familiar.

“Oh, that’s why I felt like I’ve met you before,” Kojiro spoke up, nodding his head when he realized who you were.

Awkwardly, you shyly respond, “Sorry, I can’t seem to remember seeing you guys at school. Are you in my class?”

Until dusk, the three of you talked, getting to know the each of you better. You were also able to befriend the boys you were so afraid of, becoming your first two friends in the city.

You met Adam in the dark of night, beside Cherry and Joe.

They had brought you along, one night, wanting to skate with you. You already knew the basics of skating, nothing more, nothing less. Therefore, as your closest, and only, friends, they wanted to get further acquainted with you in something they loved.

“Who’s the sweet cheeks?” His hoodie-covered eyes left an eerie pressure on you, causing goosebumps to emerge from your skin.

“This is our close friend, Y/N L/N,” Cherry spoke up.

“She goes to school with us, and we wanted to bring her skating. Mind her tagging along?” Joe asks his hooded friend.

“Not at all, just as long as she can keep up,” he spoke in a cocky tone.

The pretentious attitude the unnamed face had was irking you in the wrong way. He seemed too mysterious for your liking. A third of the boy’s face was hidden in the shadow of his hoodie, leaving you only able to see the blue tips of his hair and his structured nose.

He must’ve noticed your timid stare because he looks at you, under his hood, “Call me Adam.”

Cherry and Joe look at you expectingly.

“Just call me sweet cheeks, for now,” you reply, distantly, not ready to let your guard down just yet.

You hear your two friends sigh, chuckling to each other.

“Don’t worry, she’ll warm up to you, soon,” Cherry told Adam, “We know firsthand how she is with meeting new people.”

You blush, remembering your first encounter with the pair.

Thinking back, you still regret letting your walls down and accepting Adam as a friend. Not a day goes by that Adam doesn’t linger in your mind, as much as you’d hate to admit.

You despise that man with a passion. From your first interaction, you should’ve known that there was something off about the blue-haired male, but pondering on these frustrations now wouldn’t change anything. As much as you’d like to curse the man for hurting your friends’ and your feelings, you knew you had to move on.

You sat on the soft mattress of your shared bed, scrolling through old pictures stored on your phone. You saw pictures taken by Kaoru when you guys went on dates. Majority of the photos were candid, seeing as he always had told you that you were the “most photogenic woman” he had ever met.

You remember the day he had told you that. You also remember your laughed reply.

“Then you’ve got the whole world to explore, my love.”

Although, honestly, you thought Kaoru was quite the photogenic one himself. His gorgeous, sorted, pink hair matched with his golden eyes and perfect face never looked bad, not even at the crack of dawn or in the late of night.

Speaking of which, you scrolled upon a photograph of Kaoru sitting all pretty with his piercings on display. Those piercings brought back many memories, humorous and lustful.

Ironically, the thing that brought you fear before now brings you yearning.

Honestly, once you had befriended Kaoru and came to trust him, the piercings no longer frightened you but instead, fascinated you. Those metal hoops further increased your attraction to the ponytailed man, leading you to the relationship you were in now.

Obviously, Kojiro played a big role in setting the two of you up together because both of you were completely oblivious to the other’s feelings. It got to the point that Adam almost had to step in and wack some sense into the both of you.

Anyways, ever since Kaoru had started working in the calligraphy business, he removed his piercings to maintain a professional image. You detested the idea, but you also knew that it was the best for his business.

Now that you were looking back at photos of Kaoru as a teenager, you began to crave seeing him in those metal rings once more. You missed the “bad boy” look your boyfriend used to have, not that you didn’t appreciate how he looked now. It’s just that there’s a different vibe to his current and past aesthetics.

As you stalked through more pictures of teenage Kaoru, you were unaware of the very man you were thinking about watching you. He noticed the longing and craving in your gaze. Then, he caught a glimpse of what was being projected on your screen: it was him but in his teenage years.

Suddenly, everything clicked for Kaoru, and he had the perfect plan in mind.

Something was off. Usually your boyfriend would insist on bringing you to “S” himself but not today. If anything, he was urging you to go with Kojiro.

“He’s been your friend for the same amount of time as I. You should take this time to your advantage and catch up,” was Kaoru’s excuse.

First of all, catch up on what? It’s not like you haven’t talked to Kojiro in months. Actually, you talked to him a day ago, at “S.” Secondly, what’s up with the sudden lenience and weak excuses?

Joe, who was also in on the plan, tried to help his friend out, making a feeble attempt to lure you with free food.

“I can get free food from you whenever I want,” you replied, squinting suspiciously at your friend.

“Not with that attitude, you can’t.” That pulled a raised brow from you and a regret-filled face from the muscular man.

Though you weren’t fully convinced that nothing was off, you still left with Joe, caving into their terrible attempts of covering up whatever they were hiding from you.

You had arrived at “S” with Joe for about ten minutes now, but there was still no sightings of your beloved, Cherry. Joe caught glimpse of your searching eyes and reassured you that he would be coming, be it later than usual.

Reki, Langa, and Miya had made their way over to you, sparking up a conversation with you, making you forget about the missing presence of a specific male.

Miya was explaining the new training regiment and diet he was to use in order to advance his strength, leading you to worry for the small teenager. If he didn’t eat enough, it could become fatal to him. You didn’t understand why a child was being treated so harshly by his managers, forcing him to eat barely anything and train long hours of the day.

You were concernedly asking Miya if he was feeling alright and offered him an energy bar you carried around in case of emergencies, which he gratefully accepted, when you heard the cheers of fangirls behind you. Knowing they weren’t meant for Joe, you turned around to meet the golden eyes you’d fallen in love with.

This time, there was something different. His face wasn’t hidden by his mask. You could see the pale skin of his cheeks and the pink of his lips. Besides the absence of the black cloth, you noticed metallic rings decorating your boyfriend’s lip and ears. Also, his hair wasn’t whipping behind him, as per usual, but laid low, drifting in the wind.

For a hot moment, you had thought you had finally lost it, but when you blinked your eyes, looking at Miya then back to Cherry, you realized you were still sane and your boyfriend still looked like he aged back into his high school days.

“Is that Cherry?” Miya asked from beside you.

You nodded, speechless.

You heard someone let out a loud laugh beside you, “Since when did he have piercings?”

Ignoring the redhead’s outburst, you were mesmerized by the Cherry you had been obsessing over a couple days ago. It felt like one extravagant dream that you didn’t want to wake up from. In your defense, as he stepped of his skateboard, coming to embrace you, he looked straight out of a fantasy. His skin was practically glowing, and his hair gently floated perfectly onto his shoulders.

“Hello, darling,” he spoke in a sultry voice, placing a soft kiss to your forehead as he held you in his muscular arms.

“K-Kao—” you quickly realize your soon-to-be mistake and fix it, “Cherry.”

His eyes shrink as he laughs, endearingly, admiring the flustered and confused look you were portraying.

“Is this why you and Joe were being so weird earlier today?” You asked, cheek pressed against his slim, toned chest.

“Indeed, my love. What do you think? Definitely brings back some memories of the old days,” he lifts your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“I love it. It’s perfect. You’re perfect,” you smile brightly, eyes lustrous. Pushing yourself up on your toes, you whisper into his ear, “You also look really hot.” You quickly pull away, turning a vibrant red.

“I think you broke her,” Joe told his friend, placing a heavy hand on the pink-nette’s shoulder.

After the supposed one occurrence surprise, you began to avidly ask him to wear his piercings, loving how attractive and domineering he looked in them. If he denied, you would ask him to, at least, tie his hair in the relaxed half up half down hairdo. He didn’t mind the different hairstyle as much as he did the piercings so it became a normal look for him. The only times he would willingly put on his piercings were when he was going to “S” or when the two of you were safe in the comfort of your own home, for research purposes.

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

When Your Child Hurts Themselves When He’s Out Of The Country ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

“Daddy, I hurt myself at school today and scraped my knee.”

Jin’s eyes widened as he heard your daughter speak, noticing the sad expression in her eyes. “Are you alright? I hope you were a brave girl?”

Her head nodded back to him, “I only cried when I fell, but then I stopped. Mummy says that I’ll have a nice bruise tomorrow though.”

“I hope she gives you a lot of hugs to make you feel better,” Jin chuckled, trying not to get upset himself. “I’m sorry I’m not there to help you.”

“It’s alright,” she grinned, “I know that you’re busy singing.”

“She understands,” you added.

His head nodded, but that didn’t change how guilty he felt. “Hopefully by the time I get home that nasty bruise will be gone too.”

Her head nodded back at him, “I’ve got to get plenty of rest, so mummy says I can sleep in your side of the bed tonight.”

“Keep it nice and warm for me.”

Yoongi:

“Why do you look like you’re about to cry dad?”

Yoongi’s head shook as he wiped away underneath his eye. “I’m not getting upset, you don’t need to worry about me son.”

Your son looked quizzically back at him, “you can get upset, mummy got upset when I was in the hospital earlier, and so did I.”

“I wish I could have been there with you,” Yoongi confessed, “but mummy said that you were a brave boy whilst you had all your checks and exams.”

“Of course,” he giggled, “because they were helping me.”

“Did they help?” Yoongi asked.

Your head nodded back at him, “they just said that there was nothing too much for us to worry about and that I need to keep an eye on him.”

Yoongi frowned as you spoke, “I wish I was there to help you both out right now, I hate being so far away from you both.”

“You’ll be home soon daddy, don’t worry.”

Hoseok:

“The hospital was so cool; I want to ride an ambulance again.”

Hobi had never been filled with such relief then when he saw the wide smile on your daughter’s face. “So, you’re a fan of hospitals then?”

Her head nodded back at him, “all the cars had to move to the side of the road just for me, it made me feel so important daddy.”

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he chuckled, “but it wasn’t as nice for me being so far away from you, I worried about you a lot today on the stage.”

“I’m fine,” she giggled, “you always worry too much.”

“Maybe I do,” he admitted.

You smiled weakly across at him, “we’ve got plenty of orders to make sure she has plenty of rest over the next few days, which she loves.”

Hobi’s head nodded as he listened closely to you, “make sure that you get plenty of rest, you listen to your body sweetheart.”

“I will, don’t worry dad.”

Namjoon:

“Why don’t you go and get yourself ready for bed sweetie.”

As soon as your son ran out of shot, Namjoon stared much more seriously at you. “Is he really alright, or are you trying to protect me?”

Your head shook, making sure that your son had gone. “He’s feeling a lot better than he did this morning, and that’s the main thing.”

“I just worry, a lot,” he frowned, “I don’t want him to see that I’m scared, but being so far away from you both is making this a lot harder for me to deal with.”

“I’m being honest,” you smiled, “I’d tell you if something happened.”

“I know,” he whimpered.

You frowned back at his glum expression, “you’ll be back soon, and he’ll be feeling better, just try not to worry whilst you’re at work.”

His shoulders shrugged back at you, “that’s easy for you to say when you’re right there with him, I wish I was there too.”

“You’ll be back with us soon Joon.”

Jimin:

“Look at the cut on my elbow, I even had to wear a plaster.”

Jimin could only chuckle as your daughter held the small cut on her elbow up to the screen. “That looks like it must have been very painful.”

Her head nodded, happy to exaggerate it all for her father. “The nurse at school said that I could have lost my arm, it’s really serious dad!”

I’m sure it is,” he chuckled, “why don’t you get mummy to give it a kiss from me to help it heal, and that way we can make sure you don’t lose your arm.”

“Okay,” she laughed, holding her arm out in front of you.

“Good girl,” Jimin chimed.

You leant down and pressed a kiss just above her cut, “there, now a kiss from your dad will help heal it all in no time.”

Her nodded, turning back to look at Jimin. “Make sure mummy looks after you whilst I’m not there to look after you.”

“She’s already got me running around after her.”

Taehyung:

“I can catch the first flight home if you need me to Y/N.”

Your head shook, glancing across at your son who was fast asleep on the sofa. “The worst bits over now, you just need to focus on the tour.”

He looked questionably back at you, “how can I focus on work when my son is back at home ill, and you’re all alone to look after him.”

“A couple of staff came and checked on us both earlier,” you informed him, “if I need anything then they’ve said that I can give them a call for some help.”

“I should be there helping you,” he frowned, “not them.”

“It can’t be helped,” you assured.

His hand brushed through his messy fringe, “nothing like this has ever happened on a tour before, I feel so helpless right now.”

Your head shook back at him, “you’re doing what you can. When he’s awake, I’ll give you a call so you can see him for yourself.”

“I’d appreciate that, thank you Y/N.”

Jungkook:

“I wanted to call and make sure that she really was alright.”

You smiled back at Jungkook as his face appeared on the screen, “she’s putting on a brave face, but being at the hospital is scaring her.”

He let go of a loud puff of breath, “I just wish that I was there with you both, it can’t be easy on you to sort all of this out right now.”

“I can’t get upset because then she’ll get upset,” you admitted to him, “I think we’re both just trying to be brave for each other right now whilst she’s there.”

“When are you allowed back in?” He then asked you.

“First thing in the morning.”

His head nodded, glancing across at the clock. “You need to get some rest; it must be late for you now if you’re going back to her.”

Your head shook as you sat down on your bed, “I don’t think I’ll be getting any sleep tonight until I can get back to the hospital.”

“I don’t think I’ll sleep well either.”

---

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windblooms · 4 years

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Hi!! Could you do headcanons of Diluc, Kayea, Childe and Zhongli with a s/o who is touch starved but is too shy to intimate physical affection please? Thank you!💙

decided to answer the two of these in the same ask since they have similar personalities for the reader, and they evolved into scenarios. hopefully what i’ve written is all right!

edit: to the second anon, i’m sorry, i don’t know how people write more than 500 characters in asks. ㅠㅠ is it maybe a submission . . . ?

childe:

as a very perceptive individual, childe would pick up on your hesitations relatively soon, however won’t say anything about them outright.

while he may ask you if something’s wrong whenever you reach out, but self-consciously pull away, or when you’re on the verge of words but can’t bring yourself to speak, he won’t pry into your meekness.

he knows that some people prefer to keep things to themselves or away from others – he’s a prime example of this himself. so he doesn’t want to push you, but will continue to keep mental tabs on when you shrink away, or backtrack after you sound as if you’re going to ask him something.

if the trend continues for a while, he’ll eventually sit down to talk with you about it. he’ll discuss with you patiently, not wanting to invade past things you might not want to share just yet, but he still tries to find the cause of your hesitancies so he can better understand you.

“there’s something bothering you, isn’t there?” he leans forward across the table, and rests his chin on his hand. “you can tell me, you know. i’ll try and help you with it.”

as you take your time to answer, he grows increasingly concerned, but still wears a poker face to not influence you as well. across the table, he’ll slowly reach out his hand as a means of comfort, and clasp yours when you don’t pull away.

you begin to speak about your uncertainties, and childe listens intently. ah, so that was it – now that you mention it, the two of you don’t hold hands much, or really touch each other. he had assumed that’s how you preferred it, little to no physical touch. but now that you’ve explained why you’ve concealed those wishes . . .

“i’d be more than willing to hold you.” childe’s words are soft, and he manages a small smile to encourage you. as soon as your face flushes, though, he can tell that there’s something else you want to say. so he pauses, expectant, but you still seem nervous.

he takes a gander and speaks. “we can start off slow, if you want . . . actually, anything you want, you can tell me. you don’t have to worry about being embarrassed.”

from there, the two of you work out what you want. you both agree to take it slow, since this will be a first for you; small touches against each other’s fingers as reassurance, and taps against his shoulder when you’re too nervous to outright ask for his attention. he also has something of his own to suggest:

“there’s some custom that mondstadtians have,” childe ponders aloud suddenly. “hm – something about tapping three times, meaning ‘i love you’?”

at his notion, you become bashful, and look down towards your lap. you know where he’s going with this, and at your reaction, the snezhnayan chuckles, unfolding his hands from atop each other to squeeze yours in demonstration.

“one, two, three. it’s just gonna be between us, all right?”

diluc:

diluc is arguably one of the most emotionally reserved characters in all of mondstadt. sure, he’s got a sense of dry humor and wit whenever he feels snarky enough, but when it comes to personal sentiments? he keeps them behind lock and key, with the exception of passive aggression.

if you’re self-conscious about asking for affection, such as when you’re about to reach out to tap at his hand yet pull back at the last instant, you find him looking at you expectatntly, his notorious half-lidded gaze fixated on you. if there’s something you want, you’ll ask for it is his mentality, since he assumes that the two of you are both comfortable enough in your relationship to do so. and relationships are built around trust. so why are you hesitating?

that is to say, he doesn’t stare at you until you crack. after a few seconds, he’ll look away, and resume whatever he was doing beforehand. if it were anyone else, he’d most likely ask them verbally what they want, since there’s no use in prolonging the time, and he’s an impatient man.

he makes a conscious effort to be more gentle with you. he can’t quite tell if you appreciate it though especially in these scenarios, since you always chew at your lip and refrain from looking at him afterwards.

diluc will only allude to these instances. he’ll ask “is there something you need?” or “is something the matter?” he has no experience with physical affection of any sort, at least since his father all those years ago. so he’d be quite lost with your circumstance; he doesn’t know at all what you want unless you make a verbal indication as to what it is.

one day, in the privacy of his office, he senses your fingers just near his forearm. diluc looks over in time to see you clasp his coat rather shakily, but your hold is there nonetheless. much like usual, he’ll peer at you with a half-lidded gaze, although this time he addresses how skittish you appear.

“something the matter?” he’ll say as per usual, but this time he isn’t vague; he’s referring to your sudden committance to reaching out as opposed to pulling away.

“ . . . just wanted to hold you.” your confession is a mere whisper, but your boyfriend still hears it. the two of you sit in silence for a bit, before he turns his body and puts his hand on the side of your head, pressing gently so that you lean flush against his arm.

you’re speechless, however the circumstance doesn’t need words anymore. content with you hugging his arm, and now understanding your wants, diluc continues to work as you drift asleep against him. while there’s still a ways to go, as he’s sure that this isn’t the only desire you have, it’s surely a start.

kaeya:

the astute captain that he is, kaeya can hone into your desires with relative ease.

before you can retract your hand after reaching out, he’s already grasped it in his own. you’re caught off-guard, not expecting his agility, but his grip isn’t firm or unpleasant; it’s gentle, as if he’s caring for glass.

he lowers his face so that the two of you are eye-level. “no need to be shy. it’s just us.” kaeya’s reassurance is playful at first, until your contemplative silence queues him in on the severity of your timidness.

he’s concerned: is there something serious that’s bothering you? he’d just assumed that you wanted to hold hands, or lean on each other. for how long it takes you to speak, he’s thinking the worst: is a coworker bothering you? are you ill with a fever? kaeya’s eyebrows furrow, and he immediately speaks again. “what’s wrong, precious? tell me, please.”

looking up at him, you realize that he has the wrong impression. tenderly enveloping your cheek with his hands, rubbing your skin with his thumbs, you sink into the affection – but he’s got the wrong idea.

“i-it’s fine,” you begin, and he blinks rapidly. “just . . . wanted to, uh,” you nudge further into his hands, and squeeze his arms gently, “ . . . touch you.”

ah. your meekness makes sense now, although considering your personality, his initial guesses probably wouldn’t have been far off. nevertheless, kaeya indulges you, even if you both continue the circumstance in silence. it’s evident that you’ve been holding back this request for a while, and as much as he loves to tease and would like to in this moment, he doesn’t believe now is an appropriate time.

so, kaeya continues to stroke your face, soothing away your nerves. his other hand clasps yours in your lap, giving you the time and affection you crave.

he finds your vulnerability endearing, but there’s guilt on his conscience: why have you been nervous to approach him about this, and why did he not pick up on it sooner? not that he expects you to come for him for everything – kaeya just theorizes that there must be some reason as to why you appear so touch-starved, and he’s thinking the worst about such a reason.

“feeling better?” he inquires, still cradling your face, and he pulls you into a hug. his warmth is reassuring to you – the security that you’ve longed for. if this is what affection feels like, you’re not sure that you’d ever want to pull away.

“yeah.” hesitantly, you lift your face from his chest, but your arms remain around his waist. your boyfriend grins slightly, and ruffles your hair, pushing your bangs aside so he can kiss your forehead.

“tell me about it. we can figure this out together.”

zhongli:

about three weeks into your relationship is when zhongli receives questions from hu tao: “hey, you and y/n don’t touch each other at all. i know you’re ‘professional’ and stuff, but jeez – not even hand-holding? thought it’d get more exciting at this point.”

and while he initially thought of her remarks as rude – your relationship isn’t any of her business – it did prompt him to consider her words.

specifically, she’s right: while he’s generally busy at wangsheng, he strives to make time for you whenever possible. and in that time, never once have either of you touched each other. he’s never minded, since he’s admittedly gone without it for so long and is used to life without it – but it’s the modern age, and isn’t it customary for liyuens to . . . ?

so he takes it upon himself to ask you over dinner. he’s made bamboo shoot soup for you tonight, and as you sit across the table from him, finishing the dish, he speaks so candidly it nearly makes you choke on your last bite.

“would you like to hold hands in the market tomorrow?”

“what?”

zhongli makes a strange face. he knows you heard him, so why do you also look startled, and are averting your eyes?

he repeats himself nonetheless, and while you do answer him this time, it’s by mumbling under your breath.

“ – odd question,” is how you start, and your boyfriend folds his hands underneath his face, yet doesn’t rest his chin. “um, sure. yeah, sure . . . ”

you most definitely do not sound sure, but it’s in a way that further perplexes him. you look . . . thrilled now? he can see that you’re refraining from smiling – the corners of your mouth flutter – but why? zhongli doesn’t recall saying anything that would be good news . . .

“is something the matter?” the archon supplies instead, to which you shake your head. your hands are in your lap.

“ah, no. what you said just came out of no where.” an unconcealed smile from you now, and zhongli finds himself relaxing. if you’re certain, that’s all he cares about.

he stands up, and prepares to take your dish to the kitchen. before though, he makes sure to bring you up to your feet, and intertwines his fingers with yours.

“may i kiss you?” he asks, suddenly, unexpectedly. he sees you nod, the slight pressing of your lips together, and gives them a quick peck before retreating; zhongli can still taste the slight bamboo left over.

when the two of you draw away, there’s a noticeable flush on your cheeks. once more, you seem giddy, however this time he doesn’t have to ask why.

“i’ve never done this before.” there’s trepidation in your voice that causes his brows to furrow slightly. “so . . . it’s all right if we start out slow, right?”

“of course,” zhongli doesn’t hesitate to respond. you could mean so many things, and he isn’t sure which you’re referring to: initiating physicality with him, or maybe that you’ve never had a partner before . . . ? but he doesn't dwell on that. “your comfort is what matters.”

in the market the next day, zhongli finds comfort in the slight tugs on his coat sleeve from your fingers, and the smile that beams on your visage.

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