#hopefully we can garner enough interest for this round

[bottom-harry-ficfest]

Interest for Round 5?

Hello everyone!

Now that half of the year has passed, I'm thinking to run the fest for this year. Of course, that depends on the interest of the readers and writers for this round.

So, it would be greatly appreciated if you can answer the poll below. Thank you!

[fandomsonrequests]

𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓..? [𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 12]

fandom: ATEEZ

characters: prince! park seonghwa

reader: fem! knight

word count: 4.5k+

summary:  It was time for another Selection. No- not a Selection for a bride but rather a well-trained knight to keep Prince Seonghwa safe after a failed assassination attempt. You, a blacksmith’s daughter, manage to make it to the elite group of knights worthy and skilled enough to protect the crown prince after months and months of training. This alone catches Seonghwa’s eyes- in more ways than one

a/n: part 12! that’s a lot more than i usually write lmao sjsks but we have more seonghwa interactions! i hope you enjoy! this is unedited, so i apologize for spelling errors!

taglist: @iwanttohitmyself @minihongjoong @i-purrple-u @taetae123094 @jeonartemis @barcelona-sergei  @theoinkypiglet @sparklychangbin @krystal-cole @mangotexts @tooweirdforyou @park-simphwa @seonghwaskitten​ 

↞previous  ♛   next↠

It’s been two weeks since the first round of elimination. Out of the fifty delegates that arrived, only half remained— ten females and the rest males. 

The dining hall then was filled with goodbyes and some sobs as a guard came to collect the eliminated delegates. Fortunately, they were allowed to keep the uniforms provided for them to serve as a memoir for their time spent here. It seems like a form of mockery to others, a reminder of their failure, but it was better than heading home with nothing. 

Seonghwa remembers watching from his spot in his room as the remaining delegates rush to bid their friends a farewell. They remained by the palace gates, waving and jumping goodbye. He felt a slight tug in his chest, a pang of pity if you will, at the sight. From his time spent observing the delegates, he noticed how some had developed seemingly tight knit friendships. It was heartbreaking to see them end there. 

Now it was a new day. More lessons from the duke and the captain of the guards, this time being more rigorous than the last.

With a sigh, Seonghwa pulls away from looking out the window and goes about his morning routine: wash up, dress for the day, and have breakfast with his parents. By the time he was finished the delegates were already holed away in the library for their new set of lessons. The young prince on the other hand had some free time to spare before his lessons in diplomacy and kingdom relations. 

He makes his way to the royal garden with another book in hand. He was probably on the fourth one of the series he was reading. The garden was situated at the back of the palace, stretching far and wide and housing the most elegant and colorful flowers one could ever see. He bows his head humbly whenever he passes by the gardeners, greeting them a good morning.  

“Good morning, my prince,” Says one of the old gardeners. She was a rather frail looking and small framed woman. But anyone who knew her would say that she could walk and work for hours. And that one smile from her can brighten anyone’s day. 

“Good morning, Auntie Florence.” Seonghwa greets, stopping in his tracks to kiss her cheek. He wasn’t related to her in any way but he frequented the garden so much, ever since he was child, that the old woman practically helped raise him. “The garden looks blooming today.”

“That’s because the rains have blessed them last week,” Florence croaks, flashing him one of her gummy smiles. “Ah, by the way Prince Seonghwa. Lady Ayeong is waiting for you in the gazebo, I believe she wants to talk to you.” 

The young prince quirked a brow at this but thanked the gardener nonetheless. He makes his way over to the gazebo in the middle of the garden. It was built in the middle of a makeshift pond, its pointed roof painted white while columns of marble held it up. True to Florence’s word, there among the plush benches of the gazebo, awaited the young woman, her back to him. Her head was lowered, seemingly staring at something on her lap, as if she were deep in thought. 

“Ayeong,” Seonghwa calls out to her gently. The duke’s daughter turned to him, a soft smile on her painted lips.

“Seonghwa, come sit.” She coaxes and pats the space towards her. “You don’t mind if we talk for a while do you?”

“Oh no, not at all.” He promptly heads over to the bench and sits beside her. Although, he maintained a rather respectable distance from her. 

They were well past the first stages of awkwardness but a sliver of tension remains. Maybe it was the pressure of knowing that they’d one day be married to each other, maybe it was having to keep up a good impression. It felt kind of fake that they’d have to put up with this kind of demeanor around each other. Maybe they weren’t all that comfortable with each other just yet.

“Oh, I had no idea you were into romance novels, Seonghwa.” Ayeong speaks up when she notices the book in his hand.

The young man looked down at the novel and chuckled quite bashfully, a little embarrassed of being found out. “It’s probably ‘wimpy’ of me to be interested in such things, isn't it?”

“Not at all,” she responds genuinely with a shake of her head. “I think people are entitled to like whatever genre of novel without being ridiculed for it. It honestly doesn’t make sense to me as to why men can’t like romance... or that women can’t like philosophy.

“I find it very unnecessary times.. when they impose these standards on us because ‘it’s only fitting for people of our stature,’” She scoffs, tucking a strand of hair away from her cheek when a breeze flies by. “Hopefully that changes soon.”

Seonghwa knew, since they were young, that Ayeong was a strong willed young woman. She always stood up for what’s right and spoke up on behalf of the people that couldn’t. Most of the time, it garnered disappointed shakes of the head or disapproving whispers but it never deterred her. She was willing to make a point and fight to get it across. 

“You’ve really never changed, have you?” Seonghwa asks with a small chuckle and a shake of his head. 

The young woman lifts brow as she playfully hits the young prince’s shoulder. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

The two share a short but mirthful laugh before lapsing into silence once again. Only this time, it didn’t feel as awkward. Ayeong opened her mouth as if to say something but was interrupted as Hongjoong came jogging towards them. She pursued her lips together and quieted down. Hongjoong bows towards the pair before straightening up.

“I’m sorry Lady Ayeong but I’m going to have to take Prince Seonghwa away. Madame Olga is here for his lessons.” The shorter man said.

Seonghwa sighed but complied; his tutor always favored punctuality. “Thank you for the company, Ayeong.” He says and nodded his head at her.

“No, thank you. I’ll see around then.” She waved goodbye to him returning to her own thoughts again, deciding to refrain from telling him what she wanted to earlier. 

As the young prince looked back at the duke’s daughter, he couldn’t help but wonder what she had wanted to say. It nagged at the back of his head during his lessons, making Madame Olga snap her fingers at him when she noticed that he wasn’t paying attention.

“Focus, Prince Seonghwa. You’re quite distracted today— is anything wrong?" The old tutor asks with folded arms. 

“It’s nothing, Madame Olga.” The prince answers and returns his focus to the woman before him. 

The day goes on as usual lessons in the morning, training in the afternoon. By the time lunch was over the delegates were back in the courtyard under the heat of the sun. The only difference this time is that you were dealing with actual swords. 

You could feel your sweat drip down your cheek as you practically baked within the light chainmail you wore to protect yourself. You’d grimace whenever the sun’s rays reflected off of the swords, it’s glinting lights blinding you whenever it hit your eyes. 

“Same rules apply but be cautious this time,” Byron instructs and stares pointedly at the troublemakers among you. “These swords may actually harm you. No simple bruises will come out of this but wounds and blood. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir!” 

“Good. Now begin!” 

You face Raviv, your usual partner in training, and point your sword at him. You didn’t worry too much about your grip and technique with the weapon but it was still nerve racking to finally use it against an actual person. The only time you’ve ever tried something like this was when your father let you hold a blade he was making and let you rain down hell on the poor tree behind your home. 

You circle around your friend for a moment before lunging at him. The sound of metal against metal rang through the air and you struck again. Raviv has certainly improved on his technique and grew stronger. He could practically take you down in a few moves but you were quick enough on your feet. 

“I see you’ve improved your joust, good sir!” You exclaim haughtily, swiping across him. 

“Why thank you Madame,” Raviv replied just as mockingly. He grunts as he brings down two consecutive strikes against you. “And you’ve improved your speed. Why not run away from this battle instead?”

“And let you reclaim all the glory?” You let out an obnoxious, pompous laugh that caused your friend to snort in amusement. “Oh hohohoho, you’re quite ambitious. But I shall never relinquish my blade against yours!” 

“Then prepare to taste the bitterness of loss, Madame! Hiyaah—“ 

Raviv lunged at you, thrusting his sword right at you. You exclaim in surprise and jump to the side, almost stumbling on your footing at that. You manage to miss the blade by a margin and glare playfully at him. You knew he was challenging you. He wouldn’t really put your life at risk like this unless he knew what you were capable of. 

But before you could retaliate, Hae-seong walked in with a maid pitifully scrambling after him with a parasol to protect him from the sun. “Attention, ladies and gentlemen..!” He squawks, effectively halting your movements. 

“I have an important announcement to make,” He continues. “I’m afraid training will be cut short today. You’re all required to freshen up and look presentable before the prince as he will be talking to each of you individually.”

This sparks conversation amongst all of you. The delegates all whispered to each other excitedly at the prospect of being able to personally meet the crown prince. You, on the other hand, we’re excited to finally get another chance to meet up with him again. Only this time, you didn’t have to sneak around the palace.

“Oh, _____, can you imagine? We’re gonna meet the prince.” Raviv says as he shakes your shoulders lightly. 

Guilt gnawed at the back of your head; you haven’t exactly come clean to your friends that you’ve had a chance to meet him already. Twice in fact. Nevertheless, you were still happy. At least Seonghwa got a chance to personally meet your friends, even if you weren’t really the one to introduce them.

“I wonder what he’s gonna be like…” Raviv muses as he leans against you, putting most of his weight on you. He chuckles while you struggle to hold him up. 

You push him off of you with a grunt. “Yeah.. I bet he’s great.” 

“You may now freshen up. The prince is expecting you lot, soon.” Hae-seong drawls out before turning around on his heels and heading back inside. 

“Well, you heard the duke,” Byron says with a warm smile. “Start getting ready.” 

You all line up properly and return to your rooms. It was a nice change to be able to have more time to bathe and relax; you didn’t have to hurry up too much to avoid taking up too much of the others’ time. 

Siyeon turns to you excitedly once you return to the room, her wet hair wrapped up in a towel. “______! This is so exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. What do you think the prince would say? What’s he like? I hope I don’t bungle up things-”

“Wolfie, you’re gonna do great! Don’t worry too much.” You reassure your friend with a playful shove to her shoulder. “You’re a social being, I don’t think he’d have a negative view on you.”

“You speak like you know the prince,” She smirks at you as she unravels the towel from her head and brings her brush to her hair. 

You knew she was just teasing you but it still made you nervous that maybe she had caught on. Nevertheless, you played it cool and rolled your eyes in amusement. You threw on your best clothes, a simple blouse and a pair of trousers Siyeon had gifted to you on your birthday. 

After fixing your hair and drying it, you were practically ready to meet the prince. You looked around to the other girls to see if they were done getting ready. As your eyes scanned their neatly pressed dresses and colorful clothing, you couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. It was only then did you notice that the majority of the girls that had made it past elimination was from the city-towns. 

You tried not to let this get to you, especially since a couple of those city girls warmed up to the rest of you. The others… not so much.

“I wonder what he’ll talk about.” You heard Adrianna, one of the girls from the Capitol, ask. “I bet he’ll ask about the political climate.”

“Maybe,” her friend, Ryuko, responded before glancing back over to you and Siyeon. A mischievous smirk adorns her lips as she brushes her hair over her shoulder. “I guess some people are lucky they’re literate enough to comprehend some things.. or at least seem like it,” She feigns innocence but her voice was loud enough for you to hear.

Her and her little group chuckled to themselves as if they’ve said the most clever thing in the universe. Irina, a girl from a mining town, scoffed at them, mumbling to herself in her town’s dialect. She glanced up, accidentally meeting your gaze, to which you awkwardly pulled away from. Irina simply chuckled at your action. 

“Don’t worry I don’t bite,” She reassures you— her accent thick. “Unless you’re one of those girls.” 

Now it was your turn to let out a laugh of your own. Sure those girls were nasty but you tried not to pay no mind to them. Just focus on yourself. 

You were awkwardly waiting by the tables in the library, anxiously tapping your foot against the marbled floor. Off by the couches at the farthest window was the prince and one of the male delegates from Sinna, a city-town. Their voices weren’t heard from where you were but you could see from the way the delegate was animatedly moving their arms around that they were having a rather pleasant discussion.

You found it kind of ironic but no less amusing that you were supposed to meet the prince here. It was almost as if fate was foreshadowing your meeting with him.. or it got too excited and decided to speed things along so that you’d meet on that fateful night almost a month ago. 

You decided to read as you waited, wanting to get your mind off of your nerves. (You didn’t even know why you were so nervous. It’s just like talking to a friend.) Luckily enough, Hae-seong allowed you without one of his offhanded insults. Maybe he was having a good day… You picked a book off the shelf, turning it over in your hand to read the title: The Iliad. 

You return to the table, getting lost in the world of Odysseus that you had conjured up in your imagination. And for a while, your nerves disappeared. You immersed yourself in Odysseus’ different travels and adventures. You were practically so invested in the novel that you almost didn’t register your name being called. You jolted out of your trance when Siyeon poked your shoulder, glancing up to see the familiar pointed look Hae-seong threw at you. 

“Miss _____, don’t make me repeat your name for the third time. It’s your turn to speak to the prince.” He huffs. 

You scramble out of your seat and you heard a few chuckles and sneers of amusement from the other delegates. You absentmindedly bring the book along, your nerves suddenly returning and hitting you with full force. As you approach Seonghwa though, you couldn’t help but feel a little at ease when he flashes you his charming smile. 

“Ah, so that’s why you’ve ignored me,” He teases as he motioned to the book. “I don’t blame you— its a great book.” 

“Sorry about that, your highness.” You apologize sheepishly as you sat across him, setting the book into his hand when he held it out. “But yes, it really is a great book.”

“Well it suits you. The story, I mean.” He sets it down by the window sill and turns to look at you.

Seeing him up close in the light of day was much different than seeing him at night under the dim light of the moon. The sun’s rays glinted off of his luscious and well kept curls, reflecting back against the elegant crown that sat upon his head. You could finally appreciate his features, from his sharp nose, to his strong jaw, and all the way up to his bright eyes that held some sort of childish wonder to it.

He was absolutely ethereal.

“What do you mean by that?” You manage to say when you break from your trance. 

“You’re somewhat like Odysseus. You’re both determined to get your end goal— and you’ll stop at nothing to do so,” He deduced and leaned against the couch’s backrest. “Or at least, that’s what your eyes say.”

“My eyes?”

“Yes, you’re eyes. You have this… this determined yet intimidating look in it whenever you’re faced with a challenge.” 

You do..? You were so puzzled yet impressed on how he was able to detect that from you… and why he was able to do so. Did he look at you often whenever he observed the whole group during training? Or did you bring too much attention to yourself whenever Hae-seong scolds you for the upteenth time that day. Whatever the reason, you didn’t think that the prince, out of all people, would pay this much attention to you. 

“Speaking of which, what is your end goal? You never really told me.” 

A wave of nostalgia, and homesickness, washes over you. You release a sigh, shoulders sagging. You fish out the simple necklace that was left to you, untying it from your neck and holding it out to Seonghwa. 

“This,” You point to it, dropping it in his waiting palm. “This is my end goal. You know how my father runs a smithy back in Trelark, right?” He nods and you continue. “Well, I promised him that one day, I’ll get him the life he deserves. Open another smithy and bring in more money so that he’d never work another day in his life again.

“But then this selection thing came up. It’s not exactly what I had planned, but it was something. A warmer home, a softer bed, better food to eat,” You listed off and stared out the window. The town looked nice at this time of day. “And maybe, a chance to heal. Not only physically but emotionally.” 

The prince remains silent at your heartfelt confession. That explained a lot of things about you. Why you valued your relationship with people so much and why, despite the many times you’ve fallen, always pick yourself back up and strike back with even more vigor. 

A fond smile graces his lips as he looks down at the necklace you handed over to him. His delicate fingers ran along the smooth edges of the marble pendant as if tracing the memories held within it. “You really love your family a lot, don’t you _____?” 

“They’re all I have,” You mumble when he gives the necklace back over to you. “The whole world can turn around on its head for all I care. As long as I have them, it’s all that matters to me.” 

Hearing that stirs something within Seonghwa- a warm but heavy feeling inside his chest. He knows he has a lot of duties as a prince to take care of his kingdom, to give most - if not all - of them a good and stable life. But hearing you say this really spurred a sense of urgency to do better and to find practical yet effective ways to alleviate his kingdom.

He rests a hand on your knee, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I believe in you, _____. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.” 

“Why would I not trust you? I mean, I’m literally fighting so that I’d end up as the one protecting your life. If anything, you should be the one doubting me.” You chuckle, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

“I suppose so,” He muses. 

The two of you continued to talk till your time with him for the day was up. He told you about how pleased he was to finally be able to meet Siyeon and Raviv, since you’ve told him about them before. He even talked about his slow but steady progress in mending his relationship with Ayeong. You were glad that he was able to move past that awkward stage and was now talking to her like nothing ever happened between them. He was more open in talking about him this time; last time you were with him it was mostly you who did the talking. You never knew how complicated, and boring, the royal life was until he spilled it all to you. Your lives were so different from each other yet here you were— exchanging stories and learning from one another. 

You learned that he had an older brother, who was now living in the kingdom where his father came from. He was married to the princess there and had twins- one boy and one girl. It was quite a bit endearing to see the prince gush over his niece and nephew. His eyes sparkled with love and whenever he gets excited, his hands move animatedly.

Before you knew it, your time with the prince was up. Hae-seong walked over to the two of you and cleared his throat. “Prince Seonghwa, your time with Miss _____ is up. I shall call on the next delegate.” Seonghwa nodded. “Thank you Duke Hae-seong. Let me just wrap up my conversation with _____.”

The nobleman nodded and turned on his heel to collect the next person. Before you could stand to bow towards the prince he reached out to you, making you pause in your actions. You look at him quizzically, quirking your brow up at him. 

“I almost forgot to ask; would you and the rest of the delegates like it if you were given a break? Just a few days off to rest and recuperate. Maybe even go around Capitol; the first Autumn Light festival is coming up soon. Maybe you’d like to witness that.”

Your eyes brightened at this. You haven’t been able to appreciate the city when you arrived. Aside from that, you were barely able to write more than a few letters to send back home to your family. Heck- you didn’t even have the time to send those letters. So of course you didn’t pass up an opportunity like this.

You nod your head with a grin, excitement bubbling within you. “I can’t speak for all of them but I’m sure most of us would enjoy that.” 

Seonghwa nods and releases you before bowing his head humbly. “Well then, until the next time we meet.”

You curtsey in response, a playful glint in your eyes. “I’ll look forward to it, your highness.” 

He chuckled and watched as you walked away. It was only when the next delegate came in did he draw his attention away from you. There was truly something about you that had drawn you to him.

“He was so nice and charming,” Siyeon gushes as you brush her hair. 

It was late at night and everyone was preparing for bed. Once again, the girls were huddled into little groups or off by themselves doing whatever fascinated them at the moment. Now the chatter was about their time with the prince instead of the usual recap of the day. It was a nice change of pace, you all needed slow days like this. 

“And his teeth— he has such nice teeth. I want nice teeth,” She pouts and turns to look at you. 

“But you do have nice teeth, Wolfie.” You tell her as you shake your head. You set down her brush by her bedside table and flopped onto your own bed. “Your teeth are so nice they’re practically blinding.”

Siyeon huffs out a partially sarcastic laugh before tossing one of her pillows at you. “Ahhh, I can't wait till we meet him again. It was so nice talking to him.” She sighs as she lay sprawled all over her mattress. “Okay enough about me. What did you two talk about?”

You throw the pillow back at her and hum in thought. “Not much. Same as you: how my day has been, what things are like back at home, all of that.”

You felt bad for not coming clean to your friend— especially since it was unfair. But you promised yourself that you’d tell her and Raviv one day. Now was just not the right timing. You push the thought to the back of your head and move to settle under the covers. 

“That’s it?” She prodded, convinced that you were holding back something. “Come on, you can tell meeeee~ I doubt it was just mundane stuff when you two were talking so excitedly with one another. Was it the book you brought with you?” 

Your heart pounded rapidly against your rib cage at her suggestion but soon calmed down when she brought up the book. Thank the gods she noticed that. “Fine fine, we did talk about the book. But that’s all.. well— wait he actually asked if we wanted to have a break and I said yes. So maybe we’ll have some rest.” 

Siyeon’s eyes widened animatedly at that. A large grin adorned her beautiful face and she bolted upright from her bed. “Seriously?? We get to have a break? Can we go around Capitol? I want to see the whole place.”

You chuckle at her reaction, leaning against your arm. “I think we can, hopefully; that’s if Hae-seong doesn’t throw a fit at the idea.” 

You two chuckle at the little jab you put against the duke. Mina soon comes in to tell you that it was time for bed and curfew has started. You found it a little childish for this part of the nightly routine but you suppose it was implemented in order to keep the castle quiet and orderly at night. 

As you blow out your candle and settle into bed, allowing your exhaustion to finally lull you to sleep, you think about the next days to come. Especially your next meeting with the prince. 

And in the opposite wing of the castle, as Seonghwa shuffled into bed, he was thinking of the same thing.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK

[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, PEDOPHILIA, ETC. NOT SAFE FOR WORK, NOT SAFE FOR LIFE. THE SUBJECT OF THIS REVIEW IS A SONG FEATURING EXTREMELY DEPRAVED LYRICAL CONTENT.  PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.]

 In the year 2010, A Serbian Film was released. The movie is something I refuse to ever watch or review, and for very good reason: the film is unrepentantly bleak, miserable and, oh yeah, it features an infamous scene involving, as the movie describes it, “newborn porn,” where a newborn baby is raped onscreen. As I’m sure you can imagine, I (and anyone who enjoys keeping the contents of their stomach firmly within said organ) really do not think baby fucking is alright. But of course, no one could possibly ever come up with something more depraved than this, right?

Well, I wish I could say that, but almost two decades before that twisted movie, the rap duo UGK (comprised of members Pimp C and Bun B) managed to one-up that fucked up shit. 

The early 90s was a wild time for rap music, where violent, edgy gangster rap and the most ludicrous, over-the-top shit thrived. Look at some of the early work by rappers like Snoop Dogg or Eminem, with the cartoonish, boundary-pushing violence and offensive lyrical content. This was the norm. But UGK, most famous for guest starring in Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin,” went one step beyond everyone else on their Banned EP. On said EP was a song called “Pregnant Pussy,” a song so absolutely fucked up and depraved it would probably give GG Allin pause.

I am going to go line by line of this song and dissect the sheer depravity of this be-all end-all of edgy, offensive humor. This is your last chance. You can still walk away.

The song begins almost normally, with a slow buildup to the music, but as soon as the main instrumental hits we are slapped in the face with the chorus, which unfortunately is one of the tames lyrics in the entire song:

Pregnant pussy is the best you can get Fucking a bitch while her baby sucking dick

So hopefully you can see the problem here. The problem is that Bun B and Pimp C have a crucial misunderstanding of how pregnancy works. Also they’re pedophiles I guess. This line is repeated a couple of times to let it really sink in, let it really hit you what exactly is being sung, to the point where you might not even notice the line that closes out this opening chorus:

I got your fat pregnant bitch in my waterbed And I'm 'bout to bust a nut on your little baby's head

To be fair, this one is kind of tame in comparison.

Now for our first verse, Pimp C takes the mic and comes in strong!

I guess you can call me a family man Cause I care for bitches' babies every chance that I can

As we are about to find out, no. We can’t call Pimp C a family man. We should not even allow him near babies, and here’s why:

I don't give 'em clothes, or diapers and shit But I like to feed they babies with my big black dick

This is actually a running theme with this song. I’m not simply talking about the rappers and their desire to get fellated by unborn babies, I’m talking about how they casually drop lines like that before switching to stuff that’s comparatively normal and even tame (or tame by the standards of a song about getting blowjobs from fetuses).

Like, look at the lines immediately after the above:

Cause I'ma tell you if you didn't know You ain't did shit 'til you fucked a pregnant hoe The pussy is hotter, it's got a extra kick It feel like hot potato pie around your dick Sometimes I swing high, sometimes I swing low Sometimes I like to fuck a pregnant bitch on my floor Hit it kinda hard, and speed it up fast Fuck her 'til she get the cherry blisters on her ass

It’s filthy and extreme, yes, but this is honestly the sort of horny, crass shit you’d expect from a rap song like this. This is normal, this is... well, “good” is a bit of a strong word, but you know, I’ll take it. Of course, immediately after those lines we get hit with this:

Cause if she expecting, I can satisfy And at the same time, give her kid a pacifier And I love it when I bust that old nut Cause I know that her baby's just gon' lick it all up

This is why we can’t have nice things.

The second verse has Bun B, the other half of UGK, step up to the mic and he delivers more comparatively normal, raunchy, old school rap sentiment:

Ain't no pussy like one impregnated A pussy made for nutting in, I could never hate it A swoll pussy hole is the best on earth And a big dick helps make an easy childbirth I love the big titties but I hate the taste of milk And a bigger, fatter ass on my dick is smooth as silk

Like yeah, this is vulgar and all, but this is pretty good. In their own weird rapper way, they’re showing love for pregnant women, and who says pregnant women shouldn’t get a rap song about how sexy and desirable they are? Maybe this is a turning point for the song, maybe from here things get bet--

Now if she got a boy, it ain't fun But if she got a girl, then it's two pussies for the price of one

The more I listen to this song, the more I feel like these two are just joking, but... why tell this kind of joke? I can’t deny this is funny in a shock humor kind of way, like “Jesus Christ why the fuck are these guys talking about cumming on unborn babies?” but it’s such a fleeting feeling. 

Eventually as I listen to the song more and more I become desensitized to the shock and it just leaves me wondering why they thought this was a good idea to record? Did they just decide to go to the most repulsive extreme possible so that no one else ever would?

Once again the song seems like it’s going to be normal. We get like one normal rhyme this time, and then we’re hit with this:

I'm fucking all over the womb Now I move your baby to the side so I can get a little room

This song is pretty definitive proof as to why God no longer speaks with us.

I love to fuck them pregnant hoes Your baby's sneezing out nuts because I bust one in his nose So when your little child is born I bet the motherfucker tell you pregnant pussy got it going on

So, this part here is interesting. We’ve now heard from Pimp C and Bun B, we’ve heard both of them talk about how they love fucking pregnant women and indulging in their weird unborn pedophilia fetish, and that last line is delivered with the exact sort of tone you’d expect from a song wrapping up. It’s followed by the chorus and you think “Sweet fuck, they can’t go any further, can they? This has to be it. They dropped the fucking title in a verse, that’s it, they’re done.”

Sorry to disappoint you, but we live in a cruel, uncaring world.

You see, fuckin' pregnant pussy is simple All you gotta do is hope the baby think your dickhead is a nipple And if the cum snatcha stimulate my sack He just might get a fat load of Similac And if he start kicking, I'ma keep sticking Go a little deeper, give his bad ass a whipping Within nine months, I can hit it late or sooner It's me, Miss Jones, and Mr. Jones Junior And once I get the bitch in the raw Me and her kid can have a nice ménage à trois So believe I ain't kicking no bullshit Cause pregnant pussy is the best you can get

So yes, Pimp C drops this final, nightmarish verse, and then the chorus plays us out.

So, what do I think of the song? What was the point of all this? Is there enough bleach in the world to get this song out of your head?

Well, I think this song is utterly repulsive... but also rather fascinating. It makes songs like Eminem’s “Kim,” which is a six-minute murder fantasy where Em slaughters the titular woman, a six year old, and her boyfriend look incredibly tame. The lyrical content is just a non-stop pedophilic nightmare that goes beyond edgy humor and just leaves you feeling gross and uncomfortable.

But it’s just... fascinating because of that. This shit right here isn’t just a trainwreck. This is a train genocide. Pimp C and Bun B rounded up good taste, lined it up against the wall, and executed it with extreme prejudice. I almost don’t want to get mad, or offended, or disgusted at this, because I feel like if I do the boys of UGK win. The more I listen to this, the more I feel like this is just the ultimate troll song, sputing the most utterly repulsive lyrics one could ever conceive of just to garner a reaction. And I mean, it works.

Frankly, like or hate this song. Either reaction is understandable. I don’t know if this song can even be measured in metrics like “good” or “bad,” it’s just so beyond the realms of good taste, regular taste, human sensation...This shit right here is the sort of thing that almost tanked James Gunn’s career, and somehow these two went on to rap alongside the man Jay-Z himself. Is there any justice in this world? No, no there isn’t, not even a little bit.

But there is pregnant pussy. And I guess that’s something. 

[doomonfilm]

Results : The 93rd Academy Award Film Nominations (2021)

After weeks and weeks of speculation, rumination over nominees, streaming service deep dives, high-priced rentals and brain-bending predictions, the moment of truth has finally arrived.  This year, despite the ceremonies being split between the Dolby Theater in Hollywood and Union Station in downtown Los Angeles, the presentation was wonderfully cohesive.  Several stars stepped up to preface each award, present the nominees and name the winners, and in-between these moments, Questlove had my dream gig as Academy Awards DJ.  For one of the first public forays in a world creeping closer to a post-COVID-19 reality, the show came off exceptionally smooth and well-presented. 

Cicely Tyson, Ian Holm, Max Von Sydow, Cloris Leachman, Yaphet Koto and many more were recognized in light of their respective passings in 2020 courtesy of Angela Bassett and a moving Stevie Wonder selection, As.  Tyler Perry and the Motion Picture & Television Fund each received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for their long-established efforts, especially those during the COIVD-19 pandemic.  Announcements were made for a Steven Spielberg-directed update of West Side Story, the long-delayed In The Heights and Summer of Soul, the directorial debut of Questlove (who also provided his DJ services for the evening).  The show even had a couple of hilarious moments, including Daniel Kaluuya embarrassing his mother on national TV and a quiz show turned censor’s nightmare involving Questlove, Lil’ Rel Howery, Andra Day, Kaluuya and Glenn Close.  Several of the evening’s awards also allowed for stars and crew to voice their opinions, concerns and wishes about cultural ills, the lack of inclusion and how we should treat our fellow man.

While we all look forward to seeing what surprises each Academy Awards ceremony holds, what we really come for are the awards.  This year, I put in the work more than ever, and even I found myself surprised by some of the evening’s outcomes.  Here are my thoughts on the evening and the winners.

Best Picture

Winner : Nomadland Prediction : Minari

While I’m not surprised that Nomadland took the top award of the night, I am a bit sad that Minari ended up having to walk away almost empty-handed in light of this, especially seeing that Another Round took the Best International Feature award.  Hopefully Minari can find an audience in light of this snub, but despite how bitter I sound, I am happy for the success that Nomadland has found this award’s season. 

Best Director

Winner : Chloé Zhao, Nomadland Prediction : Chloé Zhao, Nomadland

Chloé Zhao has been the belle of the ball this award’s season, and her successful run culminated in a strong showing at this year’s Academy Awards ceremony.  With her next venture being a step into the MCU via The Eternals, let’s see if she can bring her sensibility (and award-winning credibility) into the world of the popcorn flick. 

Best Actor

Winner : Anthony Hopkins, The Father Prediction : Chadwick Boseman, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

As Joaquin Phoenix said so prophetically prior to handing out this award (and I loosely quote), “it’s a shame that only one person can win”.  That being said, as great as Anthony Hopkins was in The Father, it’s amazing to me that this award did not go to Chadwick Boseman.  Some might say that giving it to him posthumously would not be sincere, but cards on the table, Boseman gave a powerhouse performance that deserved continued recognition right up to the top award.  The Academy Awards has a long history of “interesting” choices, and this is one of the most memorable to date.

Best Actress

Winner : Frances McDormand, Nomadland Prediction : Viola Davis, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

After Andra Day upset the balance at the Golden Globes, I had my doubts that the formidable Frances McDormand would garner any awards for Nomadland, despite her stellar track record.  Viola Davis looked like the frontrunner headed into the night, as she was poised to make Oscar history, which further narrowed McDormand's chances.  Once Nomadland won Best Picture, however, it seemed like the wave had shifted, and sure enough, the statue went to McDormand.  This was a monster of a cateogry, and her win was certainly a well-deserved one. 

Best Supporting Actor

Winner : Daniel Kaluuya, Judas and the Black Messiah Prediction : Lakeith Stanfield, Judas and the Black Messiah

In one of the most controversial categories leading into the evening, Daniel Kaluuya and Lakeith Stanfield found themselves battling one another in the Best Supporting Actor category, which raised the question of whether or not Judas and the Black Messiah even had a lead.  This was further muddied by what seemed like a sure-thing victory for Chadwick Boseman in the Best Actor category (which ended up being quite the surprise category, to say the least).  With Kaluuya having the momentum coming into the night via a series of previous wins for his role as Fred Hampton, his win on the night was not a surprise victory, and his presence definitely helped make the show a memorable one.

Best Supporting Actress

Winner : Yuh-Jung Youn, Minari Prediction : Yuh-Jung Youn, Minari

In what ended up being my favorite moment of the night, Yuh-Jung Youn helped save Minari from a wholly disappointing showing with her formidable victory in the Best Supporting Actress category.  Her acceptance speech was what the Oscar ceremony is all about, with her sincerity and appreciation being massively sincere, including a wonderful acknowledgement of getting to meet award presenter Brad Pitt.

Original Screenplay

Winner : Promising Young Woman Prediction : Promising Young Woman

Had Promising Young Woman walked away empty-handed, it would have been a pure travesty.  Its subject matter, however, not to mention its unforgiving approach, made it a tough choice for any of the top awards outside of Best Original Screenplay, but in my opinion, it is exactly those same aspects that made it the shoo-in win for this category.  Hollywood has a long way to go before it can be honest about the type of people it supports, but giving a film like this one a spotlight can help make that a reality. 

Adapted Screenplay

Winner : The Father Prediction : The Father

As one of the last films I ended up seeing in my pre-Academy Awards research, I was very curious to see how The Father would end up in regard to successes, and this was one of the categories that felt like a sure thing.  The passion and time spent on this play turned screenplay is evident for anyone who has seen this incredibly moving film, and while its other award of the night was definitely a shockwave of a closer, this award was certainly well-deserved and possibly expected.

Animated Feature

Winner : Soul Prediction : Soul

If there were a sure thing for the evening, this was the category.  Soul was the heavy favorite going into the night, and it did what it set out to do, which was win over everyone who had the pleasure of seeing it, including members of the Academy.

Production Design

Winner : Mank Prediction : News of the World

My curiosity of what kind of showing that Mank would have on the evening kept me in anticipation leading into the show, and while it didn’t garner any of the big awards, I am happy that the work put into capturing a bygone era was rewarded via its technical awards.  This one came as a surprise to me, but it was certainly not a bad choice.

Costume Design

Winner : Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Prediction : Emma

This award not only stood as a show of inclusion (something that the Academy has had to be aware of in the recent past), but a harbinger of possible results in the top acting awards.  Anytime that a film like Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom starts cleaning up in the tech spots, I start to look at it like a sort of consolation prize, and after the film’s leads not receiving awards for Best Actor or Best Actress, it seemed that this practice is still in effect.

Cinematography

Winner : Erik Messerschmidt, Mank Prediction : Erik Messerschmidt, Mank

As mentioned before, the aspect of Mank that really stood out to me was how David Fincher made his film feel authentically of the era it presents to us.  This immersion was created with the visuals and the sound, but with Sound of Metal being such a standout film centered around auditory stimulus, Mank felt like a longshot for that, but a sure shot for Best Cinematography.

Editing

Winner : Sound of Metal Prediction : The Trial of the Chicago 7

Sound of Metal had a very impressive night, and while it won the award everyone expected it to, seeing it win the Best Editing award as well only stands as a testament to how well put together the film is (no pun intended).

Makeup and Hairstyling

Winner :  Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Prediction : Pinocchio 

As mentioned in my Best Costume Design thoughts, while this award was well-deserved, it felt like a possible setup for a letdown later on in the evening,  It’s tough to think of an award in terms of what it may mean for a future loss, but that’s the way the award show cookie crumbles.

Sound

Winner : Sound of Metal Prediction : Sound of Metal

If Soul didn’t exist, then this award would’ve been the one that felt like the most obvious choice.  Capturing the world of deafness in film is not only incredibly difficult, but daring as well, as audio is one of the key aspects to creating the immersion needed to appreciate a film, but the sound design of this film brought us into a world many of us may never experience directly, and for that, it deserves to be awarded.

Visual Effects

Winner : Tenet Prediction : Love and Monsters

Tenet couldn’t go empty-handed this awards season, and with much of the competition being on a different cinematic and studio level (outside of Disney’s Mulan), Tenet certainly had the highest profile.  It is cool, however, to see a film (and director) so dedicated to practical and in-camera effects win the highest award in the game.

Score

Winner : Soul Prediction : Mank

In what continuously became the most hilarious occurrence to me from award show to award show, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross once again found themselves playing second banana to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.  While I have no issues with Soul winning this award, I think time may find that Mank’s incredibly period-authentic original score was overlooked in its brilliance.

Song

Winner : Fight for You (Judas and the Black Messiah) Prediction : Fight for You (Judas and the Black Messiah)

After a disappointing snub at the Golden Globes, it felt like H.E.R. my find herself walking away empty-handed for her standout work in the creation of Fight For You.  The song is not only a strong performance and recording by its own merit, but it captures the spirit and essence of Judas and the Black Messiah in a way that the other nominees fall short of. 

Documentary Feature

Winner : My Octopus Teacher Prediction : Collective

While a compelling film, I find myself baffled at the continued victories that My Octopus Teacher has racked up for the year.  Despite my lack of connection to it, it is impossible to ignore how deep and vast the film’s connection to the populous at large has been, and with an Oscar under its belt (along with the numerous other statues it has collected), it stands to likely grow a bigger and more supportive fanbase. 

International Feature

Winner : Another Round (Denmark) Prediction : Better Days (Hong Kong)

Not only was Minari robbed of wins in both the Best Picture and Best International Feature category, but the film that did win the Best International Feature category felt like a bit of a superficial choice.  With a film about bullying, a film about the failures of the healthcare system and a film about the lack of humanity during war all in the running (and all pitch-perfect films, to boot), a film about a group of entitled alcoholics being a poor influence to kids became leader of the pack.  Categories like this one are a chance to broaden American awareness of international art and culture, but this award feels like one of the bigger missteps of the evening.

Animated Short

Winner : If Anything Happens I Love You Prediction : Genius Loci

While Genius Loci was the more moving piece to me, If Anything Happens I Love You is certainly a film with a nuanced and artistic approach to an American epidemic that is public shootings (a school shooting, in this case).  While my heart feels the loss of this choice, my head is happy that such a moving and heartfelt film may get the chance to touch the lives of a broader audience.

Documentary Short

Winner : Colette Prediction : Do Not Split

First and foremost, all respect to Colette for the story it tells and the spotlight it puts on both its titular figure and the way that people of multiple generations dance around facing the Holocaust head on.  All that being said, Do Not Split was way too important of a film to go unawarded, especially in light of rising violence against members of the Asian-American community.

Live-Action Short

Winner : Two Distant Strangers Prediction : Two Distant Strangers

Definitely one of the categories that got the winner absolutely right.  Sadly, the film becomes more and more relevant with each passing day, with several Police-based shootings having taken place since the George Floyd trail conclusion.  Bravo to Joey Bada$$ and company for making such a brave and bold piece of art.

I ended up predicting of 9 the 23 films correct, which is not nearly as good in comparison to how confident I felt going into the night.  There were lots of surprises throughout the evening, especially in the final stretch, and I’m sure these decisions will be debated heavily for the next few weeks.  Luckily, we’ve got ourselves plenty of months to start taking in the 2021 releases, and with two-thirds of the year left to look forward to, it’ll be fun when we all reconvene to do this again in 2022.

[inspirationdivine]

A Bad Hand || Lydia and Beatrice

Timing: Current Parties: @inspirationdivine @beatrice-blaze, and Kevin the stack of leprechauns Summary: Lydia and Beatrice play poker with cards and secrets. Alternatively, a graphical summary

Going back to the Stacked Deck had been strange for Bea the first time. The regulars had plenty of questions for her, ones she had no energy to answer. She shared a nod with Chuck as she slipped in, heading to a table in the corner after getting her drink. She tended to avoid this one, wary of the suspicious player that seemed to frequent it, not wanting to deal with any more leprechauns after her run-in with Kaden. Still, it helped her avoid the more curious people in the hall. Settling into a seat, she crossed her legs as she glanced around the table. The woman next to her was elegant, something Bea could appreciate in a Bend bar. Cutting a glance to the chair hosting the stack of leprechauns, she asked, amused, “Already on a roll, or am I in luck today?” 

“Dealer’s just about to deal, we can make space for you yet,” Lydia replied with a smile, looking up at the woman. She’d seen her before, looking full of life and warmth before, but Lydia usually preferred to play with a more exclusive crowd. Downstairs, occasionally with kittens. That said, there was nothing quite like playing with poorly disguised leprechauns, her skin prickling from the close contact with them. This woman though? Apart from a turtleneck in summer, not much else to comment on her about. “Are you joining?”

Nervous ticks that Bea had kicked years ago were reemerging, fingers tapping against the glass base of her drink. She knew she was safe here, Chuck would never let something happen in the Deck. She had her knife on her, it’s holster pinching into her thigh as a reminder of the easy access she had to it. She was safe here. She curled her fingers into a fist, annoyed that she hadn’t caught the tick before it began. “I think I will. I’ve spent far too long away from the table.” Gambling with money was safe, at least, safer than the gambles she recently made. Arranging her chips, she smiled to the other woman, “I hope nothing too interesting happened when I was gone. Being out of the loop is no fun.”

A nervous player. Lydia didn’t much mind that at all, careful not to show that she’d seen the anxious finger tapping against the table. Then that same hand curled into a fist, an awareness of her nervous habit that held information in its own right. Someone was off their game. All that meant was better odds for Lydia. “Oh, how long? Well, allow me to do quick introductions. I’m Lydia, this is Killian, Jerome, Sarah, and… Robert, I believe?” Lydia said to the patently obvious three leprechauns in a trenchcoat, but that everyone else acknowledged as an individual. A chair was procured for the woman, and the dealer began setting out the cards.

“Oh, at least five weeks. I used to be in here almost every night.” Bea’s disappearance hadn’t been something that others had missed. When she first came back, Chuck had even asked where she had been. And so she had to tell the tale of being in Turkey with her mother and father. A fact that most people could see through if they looked hard enough. She smiled as she sat down in the newly arrived chair,”Lovely to meet everyone. I’m Beatrice, but Bea is fine.” She eyed ‘Robert’ for a moment, before looking back to Lydia. “I can swear I have seen you here before. I’m shocked we haven’t played at the same table before.” She took a sip of her drink before looking at her cards. A bad hand out of the gate. She tried not to think that that was a sign of how the evening was going to go. 

”So we need to watch you then,” Lydia replied, with a wink. “Bea, it’s a pleasure. Although I reserve my right to change my mind on that depending on how the evening goes.” Lydia took her middling hand, let the corner of her mouth quirk in the slightest bit of disappointment, and looked back up to Bea. “ I think you’re right. I’m usually only here once a week. The others aren’t as chatty, but I like to throw them off their game by - raise - talking as we play. So, Bea, what did take you out of town for five weeks? Were you travelling for work?”

A soft chuckle left Bea,“For better or worse, yes, I suppose you do.” Before she had died, she had great control of her ticks, she knew how to read other people, and she was confident in her decisions. Now, she felt new to the table, rediscovering the way she had to play. Her smile only grew as Lydia continued to speak, she liked the way this woman held herself already. It was amusing. “A woman after my own heart. Silent tables are far too boring for me.” Temptation to tell the truth surged in her, but she stifled it. Telling loved ones was one thing. Strangers were a more dangerous game. She settled on a half-truth. “I did something for my sister and then ended up having to deal with the fallout.” She eyed the flop as it came out and weighed the risks of staying in. “Call.” 

Lydia watched the turn being played, and watched two of the others around the table fold. There was a pair in her hand, but the cards on the table weren’t anything of use yet. “Call,” She responded. “Oh, I agree about silent tables. The evening’s as much for socialising as it is anything else. Isn’t that right, Keith?” Lydia turned her eyes to the leprechauns, the top of which grimaced and said something unintelligible, but the chips the second leprechaun on the table pushed forward was a raise by two hundred. Hm, now this would be a game. “I know what that’s like, siblings can be our greatest gifts and our greatest downfalls. I hope it is all resolved now.”

“If I wanted to sit in silence, I stay home or go to a library,” Bea chuckled. “It’s always fun here, rarely a dull night.” She had loved that before, it had always matched her energy after a show. Now she took comfort in the familiarity. Her eyes narrowed as the stack of fae raised. There was no need for her to stay in for that. She let out a soft laugh at greatest downfalls. “Only a few loose ends to tie up and then everything will be in great shape again. Hopefully, things stay quiet for a bit.” She folded, muttering to herself,“God knows that Luce and Nell need some peace.”

“Only disappointing ones,” Lydia chuckled, as the river were revealed and the last round of bets went in. Lydia had two midrange pairs, which was far from terrible, but she wanted to keep it safe for this first round, getting a feel for the other players before the stakes grew too much. Kevin the leprechaun took the round, and Lydia took the next round of cards as they were dealt. A much worse hand. This would be an early fold. “Well, I hope so for your sa-” Lydia caught Bea’s mumble, and her eyes widened. It was her turn to bet. “...Raise. Would that be Lucinda Vural, by any chance?” It couldn’t be. It wasn’t. Lydia was entirely wrong, she had to be. 

Bea took a long drink before looking at her hand. Her lips curled for a quick second as she took in the good hand she had been given. She called after Lydia, looking over at the other woman with a raised eyebrow. So she knew Luce and from the reaction, it didn’t seem that they had a good time together. “Yes, it would be. She’s my younger sister. I’m guessing that you’ve met?” Without realizing it, Bea’s shoulders tensed, uncomfortable with the potential of someone who had issue with her sister next to her. 

Lydia barely heard was the other two players said, and didn’t look down at the flop being played until the lowest leprechaun that was Kevin cleared its throat. Or possibly squawked. Nell Vural had been posting on social media. Luce had been talking to Lydia. A dead sister. Well, if two had been alive then.. “Oh, I think I fold for this round. The cards are not in my favour.” Foolish, she should have never raised to begin with. There was nothing good here for her. Especially when she played against a woman who for all intents and purposes should be dead. Had been dead for an extremely long time. Weeks, from what Lydia had understood from Luce. Vampires and Zombies both rose soon after their deaths, Lydia was so sure of it. “We have. Luce saved my life, not too long ago. I think it will be, oh, three months ago in August?” 

Knowing who Bea’s sister was had obviously shaken Lydia. The witch just didn’t know why. It was interesting to say the least that Luce’s name had garnered such a reaction. She had known people that were intimidated by the middle sister, but she had never experienced something like this. Lydia had seemed like a woman who could keep her poker face on in most circumstances. Bea’s fingers tapped against the base of her drink as she considered Lydia. “It’s lucky that she was there to help you. August?” She turned toward Lydia then, voice lowered,“So you know then?”

“Well, I thought so. It appears your sister isn’t as truthful as I believed. My mistake,” Lydia said, slowly regaining something of a power face as they continued. The sight of Beatrice had short circuited her brain, but if Bea was alive then… She crunched her jaw together. Not only had she been used to torture someone, but the lying snake of a spellcaster had manipulated Lydia’s emotions to make her eager. It made Lydia’s stomach turn. Obviously, Luce had read online somewhere about Lydia’s own sister, and had made up a story to justify her actions to Lydia. Maybe she thought that by lying, Lydia would treat August worse than she might otherwise. Luce had been right, too. “Bea, I believe it’s your turn to bet.”

A soft chuckle left Bea,“She’s the most truthful out of all of us.” Nell and Bea had both lied to each other for years about what magic they had done. “I don’t know how you were involved, but thank you.” Luce wouldn’t have told just anyone about what happened, she knew her sister would never bring someone random in. She looked over to the table again,“Raise.” Throwing her chips in the pot, she turned once again to look at Lydia. Taking a finger, she pulled down the fabric of her turtleneck to show a bit of her scar. “Went through all of that and only got this scar to show for it.”

Folding early should have been a prime opportunity for Lydia to take advantage of being able to read the whole table and get a feeling for  where everyone else was as, without worrying about anyone watching you too closely. To run the maths in her head over and over, and see how other people calculated their odds in return. Instead, she was only looking at Beatrice, like she was struggling to latch her thoughts onto one another. She’d helped with something, certainly, August had suffered as much mentally as physically in the 24 hours he’d been with her, but Lydia hadn’t asked and Luce hadn’t said. She was so flummoxed she missed the opportunity to promise bind Bea, which in turn had Kevin staring at her. The turn, and then the river was played. “I’m amazed you survived such an injury.”

As good as the hand was turning out for Bea, she struggled to focus on it. As they spoke longer, the witch found herself more confused than before. Her sisters had failed to mention everyone who was involved, but she had, at least, expected Lydia to know more than she seemed to. Her head tilted,“Is that what she told you? That I survived?” Logically, Bea knew that it was a bad idea to tell people about what happened, but the caution she once felt was slipping away. Lydia knew enough already, this wouldn’t be groundbreaking.

“No,” Lydia replied, as the round finished. “Quite the opposite. Must have been playing on some personal weaknesses. At least I know better now.” She pressed her lips into a thin smile as she watched the end of the betting round, itching to move past this now and play a real game. Luce must have googled her, found out about Lydia’s own sister, and turned it against her. That was the only explanation Lydia needed, and now she could focus entirely on the game. 

A small smile broke over Bea’s face,“You’re wrong, then, to call my sister a liar.” Perhaps the younger Vurals had failed to tell Lydia that Bea would come crawling back from death. It would explain the confusion. It would be very jarring to be sat next to a woman who was meant to be rotting. “I didn’t survive.” Her voice was low, knowing that the others at the table shouldn’t be aware of the information she was giving Lydia. “Amazing what a good sacrifice can bring back.” 

Lydia swallowed. Then she swallowed again. Her fight or flight reflex kicked in, filling her mouth with toxic saliva without her consent as her heart beat loud in her ears. She looked down at her cards, blinked hard, to push them into memory, but the king and queen of spades suddenly had a deathly pallor, red slits in their throats. Necromancy. One of the worst abominations humans had created. “I see. So it appears. How… fortunate for you.”

Finally, Bea turned away from Lydia, facing back to the rest of the table. She took a sip of her drink, frowning at the now empty martini glass. She’d need to order another. She glanced at her cards, another mediocre set. “My sisters are very loyal, I’m lucky to have people who would go to such lengths to learn my craft and help me return. It wasn’t easy for them.”

“Raise,” Lydia said, before watching the flop being laid. She had a good hand, it was just about playing it, as her stomach churned under Bea’s reveal after reveal. “It certainly was a fitting sacrifice,” she replied curtly. Had Lydia made August pliant to Luce so that she could drag his soul inside out? When Lydia had made him throw himself down the stairs over and over, she’d broken his psyche and his body, but she hadn’t fragmented his soul. Her father had told her about necromancy as a child, when he had gently teased the tangles from his hair. Magics that only came to humans, that demanded balance and suffering. To bring a soul back from heaven or hell, another must be destroyed, never to go anywhere ever again. To bring such suffering on anyone, even a murderous human like August, Lydia could hardly stomach it. One good game, and she was out of here, away from the walking and talking destruction of nature itself. It was wrong in a way nothing else could be. People warned of fae trickster magic, but Lydia could not promise bind without an inkling of consent. Her glamorous only affected herself. It did not pervert nature. “Raise to one thousand dollars.”

Bea hadn’t failed to notice how all the warmth that had once been in their conversation quickly drained away. It made sense that most people wouldn’t enjoy a conversation about necromancy. Still it was a shame, she had thought Lydia was fun company when she had first sat at the table. “I’m glad that you agree. After everything he did, it felt perfect to me.” It tied the loose ends of her death nicely. All that was left was Bea finding that hunter and taking his life too. She wanted to savor that alive and well. Her eyebrows raised as Lydia raised, quietly folding her own hand, not yet willing to follow a raise so steep. Even if it did seem like an odd move. “Confident?” She asked the other woman, though her tone laced the implication of doubt through the word. 

Lydia didn’t reply to that. There was something to be said for people that just loved to keep talking about taboo subjects. Clearly, her cool comments hadn’t deterred Bea, so perhaps her silence would. Lydia certainly hoped so, she was intending to keep her dinner.  “That’s for you to know, isn’t it?” Lydia asked with a wink, then looking to Kevin. All three leprechauns knew she couldn’t lie easily, but all fae were masters of bluffs and truth twisting. The third one gave her a rotten look from the bottom of the trenchcoat. “So Bea, apart from playing poker, what else have you been doing with your newfound freedom?” She asked, the question carrying an edge that had been absent early. Lydia tapped her index distractedly against the table. 

Confidence was easy to find when Bea was focused on necromancy, it was something she knew intimately now. She knew it, in ways, better than she knew the woman she had become when she came back. Now that the conversation had slipped from that, it wasn’t as easy to find a way to answer Lydia. She hadn’t ever struggled to find warm words and hold a conversation before. “I’ve been finding a new main act for my theater. My absence was felt dearly there and I’ve been working double time to right it all.” John, her right hand man, had done wonderfully in holding Illusions up, but without her fire, they no longer had a headliner. “There’s new talent that needs a guiding hand. Otherwise, I’ve been happy to be with my loved ones again.”

Lydia heard the pause before the reply, as the comfort and confidence leached out of Bea. She tilted her head, watching the others fold out of the game. Just her and Kevin left, for the final bidding round. “Your theatre? That is charming. Call.” There it was again, throwing her off her game. Not like she could read Kevin’s facial expressions at all, either way, but she just wanted one decent round without necromancy talk ruining it. Or the walking abomination ruining her ignoring the necromancy. “I’m sure they appreciate your company completely. Was that a challenge, Kevin? Wonderful. Let’s see your cards.” The second Leprechaun revealed two tens, with a two pair hand total. Lydia had a full house, that she showed smugly. “Oh, thank goodness for one thing going well, then.” The next set of cards were laid out. “What kind of shows do you do at your theatre, Beatrice?”

Bea was going to make sure to question her sister about this woman. The witch didn’t necessarily feel unsafe, but there was no ease left now. Lydia had been a part of the process to come back, even if she hadn’t known it. Perhaps it hadn’t been a good idea to talk to Lydia about it, better to leave her in the dark. But then again, Bea had no room to regret what had already passed. “Good hand,” She commented lightly as she watched over the table. She hadn’t been positive that Lydia actually had such good cards. “We have fire dancers, escape artists, magicians. Those who have special talents and a knack for performance tend to find a home in my theater.”

“Ah, so like a circus,” Lydia replied with a smile, catching Bea’s meaning without a blink. “I would have to come see it some time. I do love watching the spectacular.” Feeling better with so many chips in her corner, she picked up her hand and tucked the ace of spades and three of hearts away into the back of her mind before watching the game begin anew. “So, Beatrice-” Lydia stopped, staring at Bea. Remembering what Felix had said about a lady friend. Except, of course, that it couldn’t be, right? The Bea in front of her wasn’t nearing a century in age, she wasn’t fae nor shifter, nor even a palatable form of undead. Felix wouldn’t- Felix wouldn’t have possibly gone for her. He had taste. He was as much fae as she was, as proud and clever and- Lydia swallowed. Beatrice wasn’t a common name, but it wasn’t impossible that there were a couple walking around White Crest. He wouldn’t have gone for a woman like this. Surely. “Felix. Doyle. Do you know him?”

As much as Bea wanted to tell her it was not a circus, she couldn’t. She had performers that called them a circus, even if we preferred the term theater. Usually, Bea would have offered a good seat to someone who wanted to come and view the show, but she found her quiet. She tilted her head at Lydia, what an odd and out of the blue question. “Felix Doyle happens to be my boyfriend. I take it that you know him. Are you friendly?” Felix knew so many people in this town, but still, it surprised her every time someone knew him and she didn’t know them as well. 

“We’re good friends,” Lydia replied with a smile that made her feel almost as sick as actually speaking the lie. She looked back to the table, swallowing down the rising bile. This was so much worse than Deirdre. Lydia had only just found a dead lampade, made dead by a spellcaster. Somehow that bloody corpse turned her stomach less than the though of Felix with a human. Worse, with this human. Not undead like Morgan, but a monstrosity, not meant to exist at all. “I care about him deeply. More than I entirely know how to put in words.” Which made the thought of him sinking to such lows even worse. Beatrice was wrong, human hubris incarnate, how could he even consider it? He was a beautiful being, charismatic as hell, he could have had anyone he wanted, and instead he stooped to this. How could he ever denigrate himself like this and look in the mirror and call himself fae? It felt like a betrayal of her affections to the extreme, to even consider this.  Lydia put her hands down on the table sharply, looking around at everyone with a practiced ease that made her skin burn. “My apologies, everyone, but I’m folding and I think I’m done for the evening. I’m not at my best, and that is not fair on any of you.” She stood up, picking up her neat stack of chips, and left without even trading them in. 

More than I entirely know how to put in words. Those words would have warmed Bea if they came from anyone else. To know the man she loved was loved back by the people around him made Bea happy in most circumstances. He deserved all the love he could get. Still, this felt more than a little awkward. Had she just met one of Felix’s exes? Or someone who just didn’t want to see him with other people? She stared after Lydia for a moment, trying to understand what the hell had happened since she sat at this table. Shrugging, Bea decided to let her questions rest for now, she could ask them to the people who knew Lydia later. “Well, that’s unfortunate, she seems like she’s fun. Anyhow, I’ll raise.”

[gargaj]

A breakdown of the Revision 2020 Threeway Battle shader

Those of you who have been following this year's edition of Revision probably remember the unexpected twist in Sunday's timeline, where I was pitted in a coding "battle" against two of the best shader-coders in the world to fend for myself. Admittedly the buzz it caused caught me by surprise, but not as much as the feedback on the final shader I produced, so I hope to shed some light on how the shader works, in a way that's hopefully understandable to beginners and at least entertaining to experts, as well as providing some glimpses into my thought process along the way.

Recorded video of the event

But before we dive into the math and code, however, I think it's important to get some context by recounting the story of how we got here.

A brief history of demoscene live-coding

Visual coding has been massively opened up when graphics APIs began to introduce programmable fragment rendering, perhaps best known to most people as "pixel shaders"; this allowed programmers to run entire programmable functions on each pixel of a triangle, and none was more adamant to do that than a fellow named Iñigo Quilez (IQ), an understated genius who early on recognized the opportunity in covering the entire screen with a single polygon, and just doing the heavy lifting of creating geometry in the shader itself. His vision eventually spiraled into not only the modern 4k scene, but also the website ShaderToy, which almost every graphics programmer uses to test prototypes or just play around with algorithms. IQ, an old friend of mine since the mid-00s, eventually moved to the US, worked at Pixar and Oculus, and became something of a world-revered guru of computer graphics, but that (and life) has unfortunately caused him to shift away from the scene.

His vision of single-shader-single-quad-single-pass shader coding, in the meantime, created a very spectacular kind of live coding competition in the scene where two coders get only 25 minutes and the attention of an entire party hall, and they have to improvise their way out of the duel - this has been wildly successful at parties for the sheer showmanship and spectacle akin to rap battles, and none emerged from this little sport more remarkably than Flopine, a bubbly French girl who routinely shuffled up on stage wearing round spectacles and cat ears (actually they might be pony ears on second thought), and mopped the floor up with the competition. Her and a handful of other live-coders regularly stream on Twitch as practice, and have honed their live-coding craft for a few years at this point, garnering a considerable following.

Just a sample of insanity these people can do.

My contribution to this little sub-scene was coming up with a fancy name for it ("Shader Showdown"), as well as providing a little tool I called Bonzomatic (named after Bonzaj / Plastic, a mutual friend of IQ and myself, and the first person to create a live coding environment for demoparties) that I still maintain, but even though I feel a degree of involvement through the architectural side, I myself haven't been interested in participating: I know I can do okay under time pressure, but I don't really enjoy it, and while there's a certain overlap in what they do and what I do, I was always more interested in things like visual detail and representative geometry aided by editing and direction rather than looping abstract, fractal-like things. It just wasn't my thing.

Mistakes were made

But if I'm not attracted to this type of competition, how did I end up in the crossfire anyway? What I can't say is that it wasn't, to a considerable degree, my fault: as Revision 2020 was entirely online, most of the scene took it to themselves to sit in the demoscene Discord to get an experience closest to on-site socializing, given the somber circumstances of physical distancing. This also allowed a number of people who hasn't been around for a while to pop in to chat - like IQ, who, given his past, was mostly interested in the showdowns (during which Flopine crushed the competition) and the 4k compo.

As I haven't seen him around for a while, and as my mind is always looking for an angle, I somehow put two and two together, and asked him if he would consider taking part in a showdown at some point; he replied that he was up for it - this was around Saturday 10PM. I quickly pinged the rest of the showdown participants and organizers, as I spotted that Bullet was doing a DJ set the next day (which would've been in a relatively convenient timezone for IQ in California as well), and assumed that he didn't really have visuals for it - as there was already a "coding jam" over Ronny's set the day before, I figured there's a chance for squeezing an "extra round" of coding. Flopine was, of course, beyond excited by just the prospect of going against IQ, and by midnight we essentially got everything planned out (Bullet's consent notwithstanding, as he was completely out of the loop on this), and I was excited to watch...

...that is, until Havoc, the head honcho for the showdowns, off-handedly asked me about an at that point entirely hypothetical scenario: what would happen if IQ would, for some reason, challenge me instead of Flopine? Now, as said, I wasn't really into this, but being one to not let a good plan go to waste (especially if it was mine), I told Havoc I'd take one for the team and do it, although it probably wouldn't be very fun to watch. I then proceeded to quickly brief IQ in private and run him through the technicalities of the setup, the tool, the traditions and so on, and all is swell...

...that is, until IQ (this is at around 2AM) offhandedly mentions that "Havoc suggested we do a three-way with me, Flopine... and you." I quickly try to backpedal, but IQ seems to be into the idea, and worst of all, I've already essentially agreed to it, and to me, the only thing worse than being whipped in front of a few thousand people would be going back on your word. The only way out was through.

Weeks of coding can spare you hours of thinking

So now that I've got myself into this jar of pickles, I needed some ideas, and quick. (I didn't sleep much that night.) First off, I didn't want to do anything obviously 3D - both IQ and Flopine are masters of this, and I find it exhausting and frustrating, and it would've failed on every level possible. Fractals I'm awful at and while they do provide a decent amount of visual detail, they need a lot of practice and routine to get right. I also didn't want something very basic 2D, like a byte-beat, because those have a very limited degree of variation available, and the end result always looks a bit crude.

Luckily a few months ago an article I saw do rounds was a write-up by Sasha Martinsen on how to do "FUI"-s, or Fictional User Interfaces; overly complicated and abstract user interfaces that are prominent in sci-fi, with Gmunk being the Michael Jordan of the genre.

Image courtesy of Sasha Martinsen.

Sasha's idea is simple: make a few basic decent looking elements, and then just pile them on top of each other until it looks nice, maybe choose some careful colors, move them around a bit, place them around tastefully in 3D, et voilà, you're hacking the Gibson. It's something I attempted before, if somewhat unsuccessfully, in "Reboot", but I came back to it a few more times in my little private motion graphics experiments with much better results, and my prediction was that it would be doable in the given timeframe - or at least I hoped that my hazy 3AM brain was on the right track.

A bit of math

How to make this whole thing work? First, let's think about our rendering: We have a single rectangle and a single-pass shader that runs on it: this means no meshes, no geometry, no custom textures, no postprocessing, no particle systems and no fonts, which isn't a good place to start from. However, looking at some of Sasha's 3D GIFs, some of them look like they're variations of the same render put on planes one after the other - and as long as we can do one, we can do multiple of that.

Rough sketch of what we want to do; the planes would obviously be infinite in size but this representation is good enough for now.

Can we render multiple planes via a single shader? Sure, but we want them to look nice, and that requires a bit of thinking: The most common technique to render a "2D" shader and get a "3D" look is raymarching, specifically with signed distance fields - starting on a ray, and continually testing distances until a hit is found. This is a good method for "solid-ish" looking objects and scenes, but the idea for us is to have many infinite planes that also have some sort of alpha channel, so we'd have a big problem with 1) inaccuracy, as we'd never find a hit, just something "reasonably close", and even that would take us a few dozen steps, which is costly even for a single plane and 2) the handling of an alpha map can be really annoying, since we'd only find out our alpha value after our initial march, after which if our alpha is transparent we'd need to march again.

But wait - it's just infinite planes and a ray, right? So why don't we just assume that our ray is always hitting the plane (which it is, since we're looking at it), and just calculate an intersection the analytical way?

Note: I would normally refer to this method as "raytracing", but after some consultation with people smarter than I am, we concluded that the terms are used somewhat ambiguously, so let's just stick to "analytical ray solving" or something equally pedantic.

We know the mathematical equation for a ray is position = origin + direction * t (where t is a scalar that represents the distance/progress from the ray origin), and we know that the formula for a plane is A * x + B * y + C * z + D = 0, where (A, B, C) is the normal vector of the plane, and D is the distance from the origin. First, since the intersection will be the point in space that satisfies both equations, we substitute the ray (the above o + d * t for each axis) into the plane:

A * (ox + dx * t) + B * (oy + dy * t) + C * (oz + dz * t) + D = 0

To find out where this point is in space, we need to solve this for t, but it's currently mighty complicated. Luckily, since we assume that our planes are parallel to the X-Y plane, we know our (A, B, C) normal is (0, 0, 1), so we can simplify it down to:

oz + dz * t + D = 0

Which we can easily solve to t:

t = (D - oz) / dz

That's right: analytically finding a ray hit of a plane is literally a single subtraction and a division! Our frame rate (on this part) should be safe, and we're always guaranteed a hit as long as we're not looking completely perpendicular to the planes; we should have everything to start setting up our code.

Full disclosure: Given my (and in a way IQ's) lack of "live coding" experience, we agreed that there would be no voting for the round, and it'd be for glory only, but also that I'd be allowed to use a small cheat sheet of math like the equations for 2D rotation or e.g. the above final equation since I don't do this often enough to remember these things by heart, and I only had a few hours notice before the whole thing.

Setting up the rendering

Time to start coding then. First, let's calculate our texture coordinates in the 0..1 domain using the screen coordinates and the known backbuffer resolution (which is provided to us in Bonzomatic):

vec2 uv = vec2(gl_FragCoord.x / v2Resolution.x, gl_FragCoord.y / v2Resolution.y);

Then, let's create a ray from that:

vec3 rayDir = vec3( uv * 2 - 1, -1.0 ); rayDir.x *= v2Resolution.x / v2Resolution.y; // adjust for aspect ratio vec3 rayOrigin = vec3( 0, 0, 0 );

This creates a 3D vector for our direction that is -1,-1,-1 in the top left corner and 1,1,-1 in the bottom right (i.e. we're looking so that Z is decreasing into the screen), then we adjust the X coordinate since our screen isn't square, but our coordinates currently are - no need to even bother with normalizing, it'll be fine. Our origin is currently just sitting in the center.

Then, let's define (loosely) our plane, which is parallel to the XY plane:

float planeDist = 1.0f; // distance between each plane float planeZ = -5.0f; // Z position of the first plane

And solve our equation to t, as math'd out above:

float t = (planeZ - rayOrigin.z) / rayDir.z;

Then, calculate WHERE the hit is by taking that t by inserting it back to the original ray equation using our current direction and origin:

vec3 hitPos = rayOrigin + t * rayDir;

And now we have our intersection; since we already know the Z value, we can texture our plane by using the X and Y components to get a color value:

vec4 color = fui( hitPos.xy ); // XY plane our_color = color;

Of course we're gonna need the actual FUI function, which will be our procedural animated FUI texture, but let's just put something dummy there now, like a simple circle:

vec4 fui ( vec2 uv ) { return length(uv - 0.5) < 0.5 ? vec4(1) : vec(0); }

And here we go:

Very good, we have a single circle and if we animate the camera we can indeed tell that it is on a plane.

So first, let's tile it by using a modulo function; the modulo (or modulus) function simply wraps a number around another number (kinda like the remainder after a division, but for floating point numbers) and thus becomes extremely useful for tiling or repeating things:

We'll be using the modulo function rather extensively in this little exercise, so strap in. (Illustration via the Desmos calculator.)

vec4 layer = fui( mod( hitPos.xy, 1.0 ) );

This will wrap the texture coordinates of -inf..inf between 0..1:

We also need multiple planes, but how do we combine them? We could just blend them additively, but with the amount of content we have, we'd just burn them in to white and it'd look like a mess (and not the good kind of mess). We could instead just use normal "crossfade" / "lerp" blending based on the alpha value; the only trick here is to make sure we're rendering them from back to front since the front renders will blend over the back renders:

int steps = 10; float planeDist = 1.0f; for (int i=steps; i>=0; i--) { float planeZ = -1.0f * i * planeDist; float t = (planeZ - rayOrigin.z) / rayDir.z; if (t > 0.0f) // check if "t" is in front of us { vec3 hitPos = rayOrigin + t * rayDir; vec4 layer = fui( hitPos.xy, 2.0 ); // blend layers based on alpha output colour = mix( colour, layer, layer.a ); } }

And here we go:

We decreased the circles a bit in size to see the effect more.

Not bad! First thing we can do is just fade off the back layers, as if they were in a fog:

layer *= (steps - i) / float(steps);

We have a problem though: we should probably increase the sci-fi effect by moving the camera continually forward, but if we do, we're gonna run into a problem: Currently, since our planeZ is fixed to the 0.0 origin, they won't move with the camera. We could just add our camera Z to them, but then they would be fixed with the camera and wouldn't appear moving. What we instead want is to just render them AS IF they would be the closest 10 planes in front of the camera; the way we could do that is that if e.g. our planes' distance from each other is 5, then round the camera Z down to the nearest multiple of 5 (e.g. if the Z is at 13, we round down to 10), and start drawing from there; rounding up would be more accurate, but rounding down is easier, since we can just subtract the division remainder from Z like so:

float planeZ = (rayOrigin.z - mod(rayOrigin.z, planeDist)) - i * planeDist;

And now we have movement! Our basic rendering path is done.

Our little fictional UI

So now that we have the basic pipeline in place, let's see which elements can we adapt from Sasha's design pieces.

The first one I decided to go with wasn't strictly speaking in the set, but it was something that I saw used as design elements over the last two decades, and that's a thick hatch pattern element; I think it's often used because it has a nice industrial feel with it. Doing it in 2D is easy: We just add X and Y together, which will result in a diagonal gradient, and then we just turn that into an alternating pattern using, again, the modulo. All we need to do is limit it between two strips, and we have a perfectly functional "Police Line Do Not Cross" simulation.

return mod( uv.x + uv.y, 1 ) < 0.5 ? vec4(1) : vec4(0);

So let's stop here for a few moments; this isn't bad, but we're gonna need a few things. First, the repetition doesn't give us the nice symmetric look that Sasha recommends us to do, and secondly, we want them to look alive, to animate a bit.

Solving symmetry can be done just by modifying our repetition code a bit: instead of a straight up modulo with 1.0 that gives us a 0..1 range, let's use 2.0 to get a 0..2 range, then subtract 1.0 to get a -1..1 range, and then take the absolute value.

vec4 layer = fui( abs( mod( hitPos.xy, 2.0 ) - 1 ) );

This will give us a triangle-wave-like function, that goes from 0 to 1, then back to 0, then back to 1; in terms of texture coordinates, it will go back and forth between mirroring the texture in both directions, which, let's face it, looks Totally Sweet.

For animation, first I needed some sort of random value, but one that stayed deterministic based on a seed - in other words, I needed a function that took in a value, and returned a mangled version of it, but in a way that if I sent that value in twice, it would return the same mangled value twice. The most common way of doing it is taking the incoming "seed" value, and then driving it into some sort of function with a very large value that causes the function to alias, and then just returning the fraction portion of the number:

float rand(float x) { return fract(sin(x) * 430147.8193); }

Does it make any sense? No. Is it secure? No. Will it serve our purpose perfectly? Oh yes.

So how do we animate our layers? The obvious choice is animating both the hatch "gradient" value to make it crawl, and the start and end of our hatch pattern which causes the hatched strip to move up and down: simply take a random - seeded by our time value - of somewhere sensible (like between 0.2 and 0.8 so that it doesn't touch the edges) and add another random to it, seasoned to taste - we can even take a binary random to pick between horizontal and vertical strips:

The problems here are, of course, that currently they're moving 1) way too fast and 2) in unison. The fast motion obviously happens because the time value changes every frame, so it seeds our random differently every frame - this is easy to solve by just rounding our time value down to the nearest integer: this will result in some lovely jittery "digital" motion. The unison is also easy to solve: simply take the number of the layer, and add it to our time, thus shifting the time value for each layer; I also chose to multiply the layer ID with a random-ish number so that the layers actually animate independently, and the stutter doesn't happen in unison either:

vec4 fui( vec2 uv, float t ) { t = int(t); float start = rand(t) * 0.8 + 0.1; float end = start + 0.1; [...] } vec4 layer = fui( abs(mod(hitPos.xy, 2.0)-1), fGlobalTime + i * 4.7 );

Lovely!

Note: In hindsight using the Z coordinate of the plane would've given a more consistent result, but the way it animates, it doesn't really matter.

So let's think of more elements: the best looking one that seems to get the best mileage out in Sasha's blog is what I can best describe as the "slant" or "hockey stick" - a simple line, with a 45-degree turn in it. What I love about it is that the symmetry allows it to create little tunnels, gates, corridors, which will work great for our motion.

Creating it is easy: We just take a thin horizontal rectangle, and attach another rectangle to the end, but shift the coordinate of the second rectangle vertically, so that it gives us the 45-degree angle:

float p1 = 0.2; float p2 = 0.5; float p3 = 0.7; float y = 0.5; float thicc = 0.0025; if (p1 < uv.x && uv.x < p2 && y - thicc < uv.y && uv.y < y + thicc ) { return vec4(1); } if (p2 < uv.x && uv.x < p3 && y - thicc < uv.y - (uv.x - p2) && uv.y - (uv.x - p2) < y + thicc ) { return vec4(1); }

Note: In the final code, I had a rect() call which I originally intended to use as baking glow around my rectangle using a little routine I prototyped out earlier that morning, but I was ultimately too stressed to properly pull that off. Also, it's amazing how juvenile your variable names turn when people are watching.

Looks nice, but since this is such a thin sparse element, let's just... add more of it!

So what more can we add? Well, no sci-fi FUI is complete without random text and numbers, but we don't really have a font at hand. Or do we? For years, Bonzomatic has been "shipping" with this really gross checkerboard texture ostensibly for UV map testing:

What if we just desaturate and invert it?

We can then "slice" it up and render little sprites all over our texture: we already know how to draw a rectangle, so all we need is just 1) calculate which sprite we want to show 2) calculate the texture coordinate WITHIN that sprite and 3) sample the texture:

float sx = 0.3; float sy = 0.3; float size = 0.1; if (sx < uv.x && uv.x < sx + size && sy < uv.y &&uv.y < sy + size) { float spx = 2.0 / 8.0; // we have 8 tiles in the texture float spy = 3.0 / 8.0; vec2 spriteUV = (uv - vec2(sx,sy)) / size; vec4 sam = texture( texChecker, vec2(spx,spy) + spriteUV / 8.0 ); return dot( sam.rgb, vec3(0.33) ); }

Note: In the final code, I was only using the red component instead of desaturation because I forgot the texture doesn't always have red content - I stared at it for waaaay too long during the round trying to figure out why some sprites weren't working.

And again, let's just have more of it:

Getting there!

At this point the last thing I added was just circles and dots, because I was running out of ideas; but I also felt my visual content amount was getting to where I wanted them to be; it was also time to make it look a bit prettier.

Post-production / compositing

So we have our layers, they move, they might even have colors, but I'm still not happy with the visual result, since they are too single-colored, there's not enough tone in the picture.

The first thing I try nowadays when I'm on a black background is to just add either a single color, or a gradient:

vec4 colour = renderPlanes(uv); vec4 gradient = mix( vec4(0,0,0.2,1), vec4(0,0,0,1), uv.y); vec4 finalRender = mix( gradient, vec4(colour.xyz,1), colour.a);

This added a good chunk of depth considerably to the image, but I was still not happy with the too much separation between colors.

A very common method used in compositing in digital graphics is to just add bloom / glow; when used right, this helps us add us more luminance content to areas that would otherwise be solid color, and it helps the colors to blend a bit by providing some middle ground; unfortunately if we only have a single pass, the only way to get blur (and by extension, bloom) is repeatedly rendering the picture, and that'd tank our frame rate quickly.

Instead, I went back to one of the classics: the Variform "pixelize" overlay:

This is almost the same as a bloom effect, except instead of blurring the image, all you do is turn it into a lower resolution nearest point sampled version of itself, and blend that over the original image - since this doesn't need more than one sample per pixel (as we can reproduce pixelation by just messing with the texture coordinates), we can get away by rendering the scene only twice:

vec4 colour = renderPlanes(uv); colour += renderPlanes(uv - mod( uv, 0.1 ) ) * 0.4;

Much better tonal content!

So what else can we do? Well, most of the colors I chose are in the blue/orange/red range, and we don't get a lot of the green content; one of the things that I learned that it can look quite pretty if one takes a two-tone picture, and uses color-grading to push the midrange of a third tone - that way, the dominant colors will stay in the highlights, and the third tone will cover the mid-tones. (Naturally you have to be careful with this.)

"Boosting" a color in the mids is easy: lucky for us, if we consider the 0..1 range, exponential functions suit our purpose perfectly, because they start at 0, end at 1, but we can change how they get here:

So let's just push the green channel a tiny bit:

finalRender.g = pow(finalRender.g, 0.7);

Now all we need is to roll our camera for maximum cyberspace effect and we're done!

Best laid plans of OBS

As you can see from the code I posted the above, I wrote the final shader in GLSL; those who know me know that I'm a lot more comfortable with DirectX / HLSL, and may wonder why I switched, but of course there's another story here:

Given the remote nature of the event, all of the shader coding competition was performed online as well: since transmitting video from the coder's computer to a mixer, and then to another mixer, and then to a streaming provider, and then to the end user would've probably turned the image to mush, Alkama and Nusan came up with the idea of skipping a step and rigging up a version of Bonzo that ran on the coder's computer, but instead of streaming video, it sent the shader down to another instance of Bonzo, running on Diffty's computer, who then captured that instance and streamed it to the main Revision streaming hub. This, of course, meant that in a three-way, Diffty had to run three separate instances of Bonzo - but it worked fine with GLSL earlier, so why worry?

What we didn't necessarily realize at the time, is that the DirectX 11 shader compiler takes no hostages, and as soon as the shader reached un-unrollable level of complexity, it thoroughly locked down Diffty's machine, to the point that even the video of the DJ set he was playing started to drop out. I, on the other hand, didn't notice any of this, since my single local instance was doing fine, so I spent the first 15 minutes casually nuking Diffty's PC to shreds remotely, until I noticed Diffty and Havoc pleading on Discord to switch to GLSL because I'm setting things on fire unknowingly.

This is fine.

I was reluctant to do so, simply because of the muscle memory, but I was also aware that I should keep the show going if I can because if I bow out without a result, that would be a colossal embarrassment to everyone involved, and I only can take one of those once every week, and I was already above my quota - so, I quickly closed the DX11 version of Bonzo, loaded the shader up in a text editor, replaced "floatX" with "vecX" (fun drinking game: take a shot every time I messed it up during the live event), commented the whole thing out, loaded it into a GLSL bonzo, and quickly fixed all the other syntax differences (of which there were luckily not many, stuff like "mix" instead of "lerp", constructors, etc.), and within a few minutes I was back up and running.

This, weirdly, helped my morale a bit, because it was the kind of clutch move that for some reason appealed to me, and made me quite happy - although at that point I locked in so bad that not only did I pay absolutely not attention to the stream to see what the other two are doing, but that the drinks and snacks I prepared for the hour of battling went completely untouched.

In the end, when the hour clocked off, the shader itself turned out more or less how I wanted it, it worked really well with Bullet's techno-/psy-/hardtrance mix (not necessarily my jam, as everyone knows I'm more a broken beat guy, but pounding monotony can go well with coding focus), and I came away satisfied, although the perhaps saddest point of the adventure was yet to come: the lack of cathartic real-life ending that was taken from us due to the physical distance, when after all the excitement, all the cheers and hugs were merely lines of text on a screen - but you gotta deal with what you gotta deal with.

A small sampling of the Twitch reaction.

Conclusion

In the end, what was my takeaway from the experience?

First off, scoping is everything: Always aim to get an idea where you can maximize the outcome of the time invested with the highest amount of confidence of pulling it off. In this case, even though I was on short notice and in an environment I was unfamiliar with, I relied on something I knew, something I've done before, but no one else really has.

Secondly, broaden your influence: You never know when you can take something that seems initially unrelated, and bend it into something that you're doing with good results.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, step out of your comfort zone every so often; you'll never know what you'll find.

(And don't agree to everything willy-nilly, you absolute moron.)

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 2: “iF yOu SeE a VoLcAnO wHy NoT jUmP oVeR iT” - Marie

Marie

Fuckin volcano

Felix

I feel secure because Charlie is going to be the one to go. I just know it. If we go to tribal that is. They have barely spoken and I don't know them too well. Might be the same for everyone else here

Marie

Still salty bout the goddamn volcano

Marie

iF yOu SeE a VoLcAnO wHy NoT jUmP oVeR iT

Flint

I am really enjoying the banter with Jay and our tribe. Having a great time with this immunity challenge and chatting with Joey and Felix. Wish the other tribe mates were as active.

Brianna

Ya know coming into this competition i didn’t expect it to be me and Bradley as the last two people representing our team. I guess he’s gonna be more active now since his busy week is over so that’s swell but like. God I really wanna sleep.

Felix

To sum up, I feel like I am getting a deeper bond with Flint and Joey. They seem to be willing to talk with me most often. So, even if we do go to tribal I am safe for the most part. I just feel like I am liked in the tribe. Also, I am the one putting in the most work for the tribe, so I have that going for me. I just feel safe because of the work I have put in, but I don't want to give up just yet. If I can avoid tribal, then I will. According to both Joey and Flint, Suzy and Charlie have been very inactive. Therefore, it will be them on the chopping block come time for tribal. Joey thinks Charlie is more inactive whereas Flint thinks Suzy is more inactive. It'll just come down to what Cassie and I feel in the end. Doesn't hurt us either way since I think they are the weakest links on our tribe, especially Charlie. I don't think she put in enough effort last immunity challenge. Plus, she was totally inactive for this challenge that she auto-lost. Cassie missed this challenge too, but she at least did really well last challenge. If we go to tribal, I think I would vote for Charlie in the end since they are the person I feel least closest to. If only Bradley dropped, I could win this challenge for my tribe and cement my place as a valuable asset.

Lysandre

I am SO SORRY GIGI! I thought you were a returnee so I decided to snap! The comment looked pretty mean compared to the others,  which it was. The tribe, Marie and Kathleen, was wondering who said the mean comment and they believed it was David. I said yeah I think it was him as well. I love accidently painting a target in him and being a rat child.

Lysandre

Ok so I completely missed the challenge! I had no idea it was going to start early and I was at ine of ny sibling's events. I'm rooting for my team and hoping that my absence doesn't paint a target on my back. Also! I am loving being Lysandre! The writer in me is having a field day because I get to create a character and their background, quirks, and personality BUT THEN I GET TO BECOME THEM.

Flint

I couldn't outlast that second Immunity challenge. It was fun but my body couldn't carry on. I hope that Felix can pull through for Tuai! If we have to go to tribal I think it will be an easy vote, for me at least. I think that Cassie or Suzy should go. Cassie hasn't shown much initiative as our leader and Suzy isn't very social.

Bradley

This challenge is taking forever. Im the last one for my tribe. I dont want to lose cuz itll suck and havent been on that much so my soical game isnt too strong either. I just want to beat one tribe.

Cassie

I'm so proud of Felix for sticking it out for the tribe so that we don't have to go to tribal tonight. Plus we still have the numbers advantage, so that is always a positive.

Flint

So relieved we won immunity again! The Tuai tribe is unstoppable so look out! I'm a little jealous that Felix won an advantage but he deserves it and maybe with some buttering up he'll share the information with me.

Felix

Can you believe I have done THAT! I single-handedly won this challenge for my tribe, and got an advantage on top of that. I know why Raul and Kathleen gave it to me, though. If I won and people knew I had an advantage, I would have a big target on my back. It does seem that Kathleen and Raul are working together, so I have to watch out for them. Whether I tell this to anyone on my tribe is a different matter entirely. Though they all know I have an advantage. I think I won't be seen as a threat until later on in the game. I'm still an asset to them though this early on so I hope I would stay if we had to go to tribal in this stage of the game.

Raul

I really did not think I was gonna be able to compete but I got back into it was in the last 2 of our tribe. When it came down to 4 of us 2vs1vs1 we knew we needed to just knock out Bradley and he did that to himself. The best thing to come out was that Kathleen and I grew together plus I'm pretty sure I know the identity of Kathleen which helps cause I love this person. Also there was a individual advantage to be won and Felix had 0 while Kathleen and I had 2. Kathleen and I had decided that Felix could have it but try to work a little magic and make a relationship with him and a deal to work together if the opportunity arose. My smart self realized that that if we just gave it to him it would be announced we made a deal, so I said we continue the comp and just throw it that way it wouldn't be revealed what we were actually doing. This way it keeps this threesome possibility a secret. Whether it remains one or not we shall see. At the very least we aren't going to tribal. Hoorah, 1 point Raul the Snake 0 points survivor gods . . .

Kathleen

"Ohhhh bitch this ones gonna be different from my last one.

David? Trash. Will 100% be the one to go next tribal we go to if I have anything to say about it.

Marie? The sweetest and most opinionated 13 year old I’ve ever met. We love a politically aware teen.

Lysandre? *insert that lady Gaga gif of her going ‘gorgeous, amazing incredible’ ect*

And Raul? I’m sooo glad we were the last two left in the immunity challenge. We bonded AND made an underhanded deal with someone from another tribe. Can you say icons?

Hotel? Trivago."

Bradley

I could still potentially be going home. Since someone brought up the fact that they all talked how they havent talked to me a lot. They do appreciate me doing really well in the challenge and i have Apollo and Brianna wanting to work with me each separately. So hopefully i can avoid being voted off this round and just work on more social connections with them all.

Suzy

love felix but lowkey what if they are doing this for everyone

Boris

"Hello im STRESSED. I went from feeling like im in a comfortable position on the tribe, to the absolute bottom just in one day. Being forced to sit out of the challenge really fucked me up. I feel like the tribe is low-key bitter at me.

And on top of that. We have less than 12 hours to vote someone out. And NO ONE is really talking game to me. Im so nervous. The only person I connect with on a game level is Apollo. I have no idea where the tribe is leaning, but I have a sinking feeling its me.

God I hope im wrong and just insanely paranoid. "

Boris

"IN HAPPIER NEWS. I finally got something GOOD in the idol hunt? And it could be game changing!!!

I found 1 half of a super idol. It can't help me tonight but its leverage, and a super idol is the most powerful thing in the game, it could literally save my life in the future of the game. All i have to do is survive tonight, if I have to use the super idol piece as leverage, I will. "

Felix

I think the advantage is less about doing someone on the other tribe a favor. I'm telling everyone about it because, if I do that, it garners trust because they know I'll be open with them about any advantages I have. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to tell the truth to gain trust. The extra vote could also get me an ally on the other side. Let's see if this plays out like I hope it does.

David

Everyone is nice which makes it hard to decide who to vote off. Performance in the next challenge will base my vote and probably others.

Felix

I think my plan is working. Cassie offered me an alliance with her and Flint. I think those two are really cool so I think working with them is in my best interest. Also, I have connections with Mea through Raul and Kathleen. Hopefully, since I'm giving an extra vote to Bradley, I can gain a connection with him despite not having met him. I hope this plays out well! My social game seems to be climbing!

Felix

I have made my first alliance in this game! It's the Tuai Quad Alliance, LLC featuring Cassie, Joey, Flint, and I. It's basically everyone I wanted to work with since the beginning of the game! I think I have found myself in a good position on this tribe. To be honest, I'd like to see Charlie go first, but we'll see how this all pans out. I'm glad I finally have a security blanket though. Hurray for a good social game!

Cassie

I love being a part of the Tuai tribe and was happy to become the leader. Despite liking all of my tribemates, I've become part of an alliance. We're calling it the TQA, LLC. Maybe someday that can be trademarked, hehe. But the Tuai Quad power is strong with Felix, Flint, Joey, and myself.

Brianna

Well. We lost the challenge. I made a pact with Bradley that we should stick together since we were the last two people left in the challenge. I also talked to Apollo and Boris. I seem to be close to them. Boris mentioned making an alliance with me, him, Bradley, and Apollo and I would be totes down for that. So. Guess this will be pretty simple hopefully

Zest

I just cast my first vote and it was wild. I didn't know what to expect going in to tribal. I hope no one blindsides me because I am really getting invested in this game. I think while my performance in the last challange wasn't the greatest, I can still be a strong social player. Not sure if I'm feeling like Parvati or Hannah Shapiro. I need another few weeks to find out what kind of player I am going to be.

Charlie

I feel so bad for missing the challenge but once again not much new is happening.

Boris

"I have been putting in WERK todah to make sure I'm in the best possible position going into tonight.

I first was talking to Brianna, and she mentioned the only people she didnt wanna vote was me, Apollo, and Bradley. So, naturally, when presented with a majority of the tribe, I suggest an alliance! Ofc she agrees hehe, so now thats in the works.

On my tribe, the most likable people and those I get along with/vibe the most with is Apollo and Zest. I approach them both and plant that seed, another alliance of just us three forms. Im SO excited to be working with them, we bounce off each other really well and I truly think we can go to the end together.

So yeah, even tho I was worried this morning I think I placed myself in a near perfect position. I really don't think theres any way I leave tonight. "

Joey

unfortunately, i wasn’t the best in the challenge but at least i showed up! i was invited in by cassie to an alliance with her felix and flint, but it was obvious i was the last one asked. i plan on being loyal, but i need to let cassie play leader while i get closer with felix. slow and steady.

Thomas M

Not much, Bradley did well on the challenge but unfortunately we are in the bottom. Have been preoccupied with a big assignment so have not gotten to fully experience things in the last round at least. Am nervous of who is going to get booted, excited to see what's to come!

Marie

Wow, idol hunt hates me

Apollo

We lost, I feel like I’m getting played though, if this is the last you’ve seen of Apollo, it’s been a great run!

Brianna

I’m really laughing over Thomas’ first message to me after we lost 30 minutes before tribal....like...it’s a little too late sorry bud

Bradley

It looks like the vote should be Thomas which Im fine with. And theres an alliance of Borris, Apollo, and Brianna who want to make a four person with me which makes me really happy. Started off rocky in this game but with challenge preformance actually helped me a lot.

Apollo

Borris and Apollo? “Name a more iconic duo”

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Rise Up

Chapter Twenty Seven

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader  |  Word Count: 5781 Warnings: language, creative license in regards to the gods of Asgard

Song: Soldier of Love by Poesy

Steve finished his tale for the others, ending with handing over the new silver arm ring to Bucky who took it with quiet reverence, a look of awe coming over his face when he accepted it and slipped it over his left hand. The group as a whole remained silent, the weight of his words seeming to hang over the lot of them like thunderclouds until (Y/N) stood slowly to her feet and walked away.

She looked utterly devastated, but when he stood to go after her, she raised her hand. She needed a moment. Still, he could feel the pain and confusion in her heart as she left the room.

“Steve,” Bucky murmured, drawing his attention.

Steve pulled his gaze from his girl and took the small box his friend held out. “Thanks, Buck.”

“Hopefully that will cheer her up some. This is all kinds of screwed up,” Bucky sighed.

“It is that,” Steve agreed. He was having a hard enough time wrapping his head around Helgi and Freyja and all the rest. He couldn’t even imagine how hard it must be for (Y/N) when she had so many memories to contend with and the betrayal of her people now confirmed.

“You seem to have left out a few glaring details, Captain,” Loki smirked as he cleaned his nails with the tip of a knife.

“Loki, don’t,” Steve warned. He’d left certain things out for a reason.

“What?” He shrugged, playing the innocent. “You do not want it known the Captain is now a King?”

“What!?” barked nearly every voice in the room.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Loki. “Really? Did you have to?”

“No. But I wanted to,” Loki grinned.

“Wait! What the hell does he mean king?” Bucky asked.

“I, too, am curious. First Thor, then (Y/N), now you, Captain? Should I expect Stark to be next?”

They turned as a group toward the door where T’Challa stood smiling with a grinning Shuri and the stoic-faced Okoye.

“I would be Emperor, not king,” Tony snorted, striding forward to greet T’Challa.

“No one in their right mind would make you Emperor of anything,” Natasha mocked, earning herself a glare.

“T’Challa.” Steve joined Tony and shook the King of Wakanda’s hand. “Glad you could make it.”

“That you think I would miss the wedding of the Captain and the Valkyrie Queen shows you do not know me well,” he teased causing Shuri to giggle.

“More like I wouldn’t miss it,” Shuri said, darting forward to hug Steve around the waist before deserting him for Bucky who grabbed her up and swung her around, making her squeal.

Steve looked at Okoye who only shrugged.

“They made me come,” she quipped.

“You were as excited as Shuri was,” Nakia huffed, striding into the room. “You realize there is a large horse with wings grazing on your lawn?”

“He belongs to (Y/N),” Steve explained.

“Ah. I thought perhaps the doctor was being tricky,” T’Challa said, grinning at Strange.

“I take no blame for that creature.” Stephan held up his hands.  

Nakia held out her hands, and Steve took them to give a gentle squeeze of greeting.

“Where is the blushing bride?” she asked.

“We’ve had some… disturbing news. She needed a minute,” Steve said softly.

“Nothing too distressing, I hope?” she asked with a frown.

“Nothing we can’t handle.”

“Good.” She smiled and released him. “By the way, we picked up a stray on the way in.” She turned toward the door as running feet sounded.

“There’s a horse! A horse with wings! Holy… holy… on the lawn!” Peter gasped as he stumbled to a stop.

“Hemme is (Y/N)’s,” Tony chuckled, patting the kid’s shoulder. “Just breathe, kid. If you ask nicely, maybe she’ll introduce you.”

“Really?” Peter sucked in air.

“Me too?” Shuri piped up.

“I’m sure she would. Maybe a little later,” Steve offered.

“Yes!” The two teenagers exchanged a smug, superior glance before they tilted their heads together and began chattering about… something Steve knew nothing about.

“So, what is this Kingship you speak of, Steven?” T’Challa asked.

“He retrieved the sword of Hurgid, first King of Sváfaland and greatest of his lineage, granting the humble Captain the designation of Hurgid’s true heir. He is a King and a Lord in Thor’s court.”

Steve shot Loki another glare. “You really need to shut up.”

“Refusing to speak on it will not make it any less true… your majesty.” Loki’s grin was wide enough it reminded Steve of a cat who’d eaten a canary.

“King of a crumbling castle and empty lands,” Steve huffed.

“Even so, he is still a King,” came the voice of Vision.

Steve looked at Vision who was peering at him curiously. “I’m no different than before, Vis.”

“Yet, you hold a power some would kill for. One someone has killed you for once before. The way history is repeating itself is… intriguing.”

“Seeing as how the Captain stands before me, whole and well, I wonder how he could have been killed for his crown? It sounds an interesting tale. One I would hear in full,” T’Challa said quietly.

“I’ll have to leave you to get the recitation from the others. My girl needs me.” Steve rubbed the heel of his hand over his chest, gave the group a nod, and left them all behind as he went to find (Y/N).

He’d barely rounded the corner into the first hall before a swirl of green and gold magic had him arching a brow at Loki, appearing out of nothing at his side. “Loki?” The God of Mischief stepped in front of him, causing Steve to stop walking.

“You must not be so flippant about who you are.”

The harshness of Loki’s features and the worry in his eyes gave Steve pause. “Why?”

“Asgard is not Midgard. There, who you are and from whence and whom you came is as important as the deeds you can count to your name. You are Hurgid’s heir. His true heir! This, in and of itself, is enough to grant you leisure in the halls of Asgard. Add to it the… reputation you already have as one of Thor’s closest allies and a man he claims confidant, and you will garner many who seek to be your friend. Not all will do so with the best of intentions. It is a court, after all. Those who know and are seen with you will gain prestige. They will seek to ingratiate themselves with you to gain closer ties with Thor as well as access to the Valkyrie Queen. Watch your back, Captain.”

“What did Hurgid do that was so all-fired important? This?” Steve shook the sword in his hand. “It’s like holding a galaxy in my fist when I drew it the first time. So much power. Even now I can hear it whisper like a voice, ancient, wise, trying to tell and teach me things. Who the hell was this Hurgid that he’d have something like this?”

Loki motioned toward an empty room, and Steve followed even as he ached to go after his girl. These were things he needed to know, and Freyja had said he could trust Loki, even if it felt counterintuitive.

“What I tell you is known to me only via tales told at Odin’s knee. Hurgid was gone from Asgard before my birth.”

Steve frowned. “He's not in Valhalla? The way everyone talks about him, you'd think he'd been granted a seat.”

“All part of the tale I was told if you'd but listen. Time grows short, Captain. Keep your interruptions to a minimum.” Loki cast him a hard glance of warning before continuing. “Hurgid was a man like any other in his youth. Born to a simple family of farmers, it became clear as he grew older he was… special. Not all of us are born Gods. Many on Asgard are no different than the people of Earth. Some live longer lives, others your standard one hundred. It simply depends on bloodlines and realm of origin.

Hurgid, it seemed, was far more Asgardian than whatever his native land - now lost to time - had been, for he grew in strength as he aged, his looks pleasing, his prowess in both swordplay and… other pleasures becoming the thing of legends.”

Loki smirked, but Steve ignored his insinuation and waved him to continue.

“Hurgid travelled the land, seeking his fortune when Father was still young. Yet retaining both eyes, Odin rode with Ve and Vili, his brothers as he began his campaign through the realms to gather them under his mantle. It was when his brothers decided it would be better for themselves to be king of all the realms that father met Hurgid.

A giant boar had been unleashed to terrorize the people, created by Ve and Vili to draw Odin in. They went with him in good faith to kill the beast, but instead, left father to face it alone in its savagery. He fought the creature for a night and a day before it knocked him down and away from his spear.

Hurgid had also heard tell of the giant beast rampaging through the land and had come to test his prowess when the noise of Odin’s battle came to his ear. He approached cautiously, unaware of just who it was who fought so fiercely over the ridge. It was as Odin was taking his flight through the trees that Hurgid arrived upon the scene.

Father said Hurgid came out of nowhere, appearing at a run to swoop down, pick up Odin’s mighty spear, and plunge it into the board’s eye before Odin could be killed. Wounded in the battle, father was no match for Ve and Vili, so Hurgid hid him for three days as his brothers searched the forests, rocks, and caves of the land. When they came upon Hurgid sitting before his fire, they dismissed him as a peasant even as he spared with them verbally, offering meat and bread, and what mead he had left, keeping them distracted from looking too deep into the shadows of his cave.

They denied him and continued to search, only to return twice more. The third day when they returned the final time, Odin was fit and healed, sitting at Hurgid’s fire, covered in his cloak, appearing as nothing but an old man. His brothers paid him no mind and began to harass Hurgid, calling him a liar for the trail of blood Odin had had his ravens hide was suddenly clear and led directly to Hurgid’s cave.

Hurgid became offended at this. After offering them hospitality and a seat at his fire three times, they dared to come back and accuse him of being a liar when, in fact, not once did they question him regarding Odin? Such blatant disrespect would not stand under the laws of Odin!”

Steve wondered about that, these laws of Odin, but kept his mouth shut. He could always ask (Y/N) about them later.

“Ve and Vili laughed, calling Hurgid foolish for standing with Odin when the King of Asgard would soon be dead.

It was then Odin arose, whole and well from his seat to strike down his brothers having heard enough. Their betrayal was complete. No longer was he able to deny their treasonous ways.

For his part, Odin granted Hurgid a boon, and your ancestor asked to join him in his quest to quiet the nine realms. To ride out with Odin in battle and guard his flank. Odin agreed but said such a warrior, one who could wield his own mighty Gungnir to slay such a massive boar should have a weapon worthy of him.” He motioned toward the sword in Steve’s hand. “That sword was created from the tusk of the boar who’d gored him and was dipped in Odin’s blood, laced with metal from a fallen star, and forged in the flames of Valhalla. There is no other like it for it carries the magic of three gods, two of which are no more.”

Steve suddenly felt the weight of just what a weapon it was he was holding and wondered if he was in over his head. Just what was he getting himself into?

“In time,” Loki continued, unaware of Steve’s inner misgivings, “Hurgid became both friend and confidant with father. They fought and warred and celebrated together. Aunt Freyja used to speak of him fondly as well, and father granted him the wilds lands where they met as Hurgid’s own kingdom once the realms were gathered under his rule, for wise men like your ancestor could be trusted to see to the people in Odin’s name. Hurgid married and had his heir, but much like Heðinn, the man was unworthy of the true strength of Hurgid. There was a greed in him. A poison and corruption. A thirst for more, more, more! So Hurgid passed him over for the younger son and in so doing signed his death warrant. 

Igan, the elder son, in his rage at being denied, struck down his father in cold blood, but with his dying breath, Hurgid called out to Odin. Father went to him, and his anger at seeing what Igan had done was all consuming. He killed the man without hesitation, cursing him to Hell for his transgression before kneeling to gather Hurgid to him. Grief weighed heavy upon Odin’s heart, but he knew when Freyja arrived moments later it was to take Hurgid to Valhalla where he belonged, granting him the highest honour by coming to collect him herself, but Hurgid had other ideas.” Loki turned to peer out the window, seeming lost in his memories. “As you've said, the sword speaks wisdom. It teaches those with the ear to listen, and Hurgid was an intelligent man. He knew with Igan’s betrayal he couldn't give the mighty Randulfr to just anyone. It would be too powerful in the hands of someone with weak morals, so he asked Odin to take him to the tomb.

There, with Freyja’s help, he used the last of his strength to seal the sword to the wall to await the coming of his true heir. It took everything he had, leaving nothing for Freyja to take to Valhalla.”

Steve stared at the sword with new eyes. “He put his soul into it?”

“Into the binding which held it in trust for you. He chose a final death, a permanent one. Odin asked him not to, asked him to continue on, go with Freyja and live better days in Valhalla, but he said Hurgid only smiled and… let go.”

Quiet lapsed between them for a long moment before Steve slowly traced his fingers down the ornate scabbard. “Guess history really does repeat itself.”

“It seems you were destined to be the companion of Asgard’s king,” Loki agreed.

“You're not going to try and kill Thor again, are you?” Steve asked with a small grin.

“I make no promises,” Loki chuckled.

Steve turned to go but paused and turned back. “Thank you. Both for this and for helping us.”

Loki shrugged. “She is family.” He said it flippantly, but he wasn't fooling anyone.

“Loki, thank you as well for being with her after Helgi... after I died. I know it wasn't easy for you. And I appreciate your displeasure at her marriage to that bastard.” Steve’s grin widened.

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “Aunt Freyja has been telling tales.” He waved a dismissive hand. “It was an archaic tradition, to begin with, and I never liked Heðinn. You were, at least, tolerable.”

Steve slowly held out his hand. “Things have been… tense between us. Not just you and I but the team as well. I’d like to change that and not just for (Y/N)’s sake. What you did for her when you went against the temple…” He shook his head. “I’ll never be able to thank you.”

This time the shock was evident on Loki’s face as he took Steve’s offered hand and gripped his wrist. “She’s… family. I shouldn’t have ever given her up-”

“Don’t.” Steve tightened his grip when Loki tried to pull away. “Don’t dismiss what you did, what you succeeded in doing because, eventually, you succumbed to their torture. I can’t even imagine what it felt like to have those chains sear into your flesh, and you went through it more than once. Don’t make light of your sacrifice by saying it wasn’t enough. It was more than enough,” he said harshly. “She has to go back. We have to go back. What you did was give her the time she needed to finish, once and for all, the horror of her past. Don’t ever make light of the pain you went through to do so.”

Whether there was moisture dampening the God of Mischief’s eyes or not, Steve would never be certain, but Loki’s gratitude could not be mistaken. For a moment, he finally saw through the snide, jovial, mischievous mask Loki wore to the man behind it.

(Y/N) had talked a little about Loki and his past. About growing up in Thor’s shadow. About being different from the others and how it had caused him to be seen as somehow lesser than his brother. About how Frigga was his world and when it became evident Loki would become a master in seiðr rather than some muscle-bound warrior, it had further ostracized him.

Here was that man. The one aching to be acknowledged and accepted for who he was. The one who had wanted approval so badly, he’d nearly destroyed the planet of his birth to get it from his father. The one who’d gone so round the bend when it had been denied him, he’d come for Steve’s world instead.

“She adores you,” Steve said softly. “She fights and stands up for you so fiercely that people keep their opinions of you to themselves now to avoid her wrath.” He smirked a little and let Loki go. “Freyja said I could trust you. (Y/N) trusts you implicitly. But I’m choosing to trust you, Loki, not because they tell me I can, but because of what I saw in that tomb.”

The mask slipped seamlessly back in place, and Loki grinned wickedly. “Are you certain that is wise, Captain?”

Steve lifted his chin and gave a short nod. “Guess we’ll see, won’t we?”

The mask cracked, and Loki’s smile wavered. “I guess we will.”

He made to leave again only to have Loki shift toward him.

“May I… see the ring?”

The quietly worded request was so unlike him, Steve dug the box from his pocket without hesitation and held it out. Loki took it from him, lifted the lid, and ran his finger over the stone.

“Aunt Freyja… what are you playing at?” he murmured quietly, a smirk on his face.

“What?” Steve asked, curious. He knew Freyja would do nothing to harm (Y/N), but the fact Loki was so interested piqued his as well.

Mischief filled green orbs lifted and Loki’s smile was decidedly wicked. “You will see, Captain.” The box closed with a snap, and he handed it back. “Hurry along now. Once you are finished with (Y/N), we have things to discuss and your accoutrement to see to.” He made a motion, shooing Steve out the door.  

Clearly, nothing more was going to be said, and Steve walked away knowing they’d come to an understanding of sorts. It was good and one less thing he would have to worry about in Asgard. He knew Loki would do nothing to endanger (Y/N) and do whatever he could to ensure this curse on them was broken. The God of Mischief wanted many more years with the woman he knew as Sváfa. That would not happen if they all failed to figure this out.

Steve nodded to the few people he passed, all looking mildly surprised to see him packing a large gold wrapped sword, but… this was the Avengers. Most of the staff had learned to roll with the punches, hence the reason many were in some sort of formal attire and wished him congratulations when he passed.

Steve shook his head and sighed. Here he was, about to get married, and he had no idea what was happening, where, when, or how. It was… odd and a little disheartening but also so in keeping with his life, he wasn’t sure why it surprised him this was how the day would go.

He pushed open the door to their room and had his heart clench hard at the sight which greeted him. (Y/N) appeared lost in thought, staring blankly at the wall with tears on her face. Those ethereal eyes of hers seemed all the more haunting with the crystalline drops shining on her lashes and dripping down her cheeks.

The door shut with a quiet click. He rested the sword carefully against the wall. His strides were long to take him to her side where he knelt slowly at her knees and took her hands in his. “Sweetheart?”

“Steve…” she whispered. Her features twisted and more tears fell.

He released her hands but only to slide them beneath her and bring her down to him, hold her close and warm her chilled skin. Her armour was gone, the cloak and boots, but the rest of her leathers remained, and he could see the gooseflesh on her arms. “Talk to me, please,” he murmured against her hair, stroking his palm up and down her arm.

“It’s all so fucked up,” she sighed, laying her head on his shoulder. “Helgi, Heðinn, the Valkyrjur, and the Temple. The greed and covetous nature of one man ruined… everything. But then to find out my people, my own people took it one step further? Was I such a horrible Queen? Was I so hated and despised they thought to be rid of me permanently?”

“No.” Steve threaded his fingers through her unbound hair and pulled until he could see her upturned face. “No, that’s not it at all. It was two people. Two out of thousands. Maybe a handful at most. I can’t imagine anyone not loving you, cherishing you, adoring you, the way I do,” he said quietly and kissed her softly.

The salt of her tears was bittersweet on his tongue.

“So much hate,” she whispered when he lifted his head. “I never knew how Heðinn felt. I never saw it. His obsession. How could I miss it? And now, to hear Helgi is trapped? That a piece of your soul isn’t whole with him missing, I… I don’t know what to think, Steve. I don’t know how to feel. Everything hurts. I had two more lives on Asgard where he was trapped in that tomb and I never even-”

Steve pressed his mouth to hers again, stilling the flood of words as he held her head and did his best to steal her breath away. She sighed and clutched at him, her hand curling into a fist in his jacket. Only then did he lift his lips from hers with reluctance as he was thoroughly addicted to her mouth. “Do you think he blamed you? That I blame you? Baby,” he sighed and let his forehead touch hers. “How were you to know? You couldn’t have. He’s there because of things outside your control. Once we figure this out, he’ll be free. Freyja said he would rest.” He didn’t know whether that meant what was left of Helgi would disappear to rejoin his soul, or if Helgi would continue on to some Asgardian afterlife, but whatever it would be, Steve would be happy he was free.

Which… messed with his head a little. After all, he was Helgi reborn and here he was, wishing himself well. It seemed rather... self-serving.

The flood of tears had slowed, but he could still feel the rampant confusion and sorrow writhing in her heart. Steve shifted his fingers through her hair, dragging the pads over her scalp. Her lashes fluttered, and her eye closed, a quiet moan falling from her lips. Steve did it a second time before cupping her cheek. He stroked his thumb over her smooth flesh, over the high arch of bone and down to graze her lip, waiting for her to return those stunning orbs to the world when she lifted her dusky lashes.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next days and weeks. I don’t know the answers or have the words that will soothe your heart. All I know is I love you, and nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever change that. We can get through this together. It’s you and me, til’ the end of time.”

A small smile tweaked her lips. “Don’t let Bucky hear you say that. You’ll give him a complex using his line on me.”

“He’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother, in this life at least,” Steve chuckled softly. “He knows how important he is to me, but this? You?” He caressed her face and lip again, giving it a small pull with his thumb which caused her tongue to dart out and lick at him. Heat washed over his abdomen and dropped like a stone to burn in his loins. “Baby… this is eternity.”

“Steve.” She wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and tugged, but he resisted.

“I need you like I need air,” he whispered, studying the curve of her cheek, the slope of her nose, the colour of her eyes as fresh tears filled them so he would remember her forever.

His back connected with the coffee table when she lurched up and wrapped her arm around his neck. Slippery like an eel, she ending up straddling his thighs.  

“Ditto,” she breathed and sealed her mouth to his.

A laugh bubbled up in his throat but came out a strangled moan when she rocked her hips into his, sending certain portions of his anatomy leaping into life. He dropped his hands to her ass, clad in leather and so fucking sexy, and dragged her higher.

It was an instant case of want. His desire for her was suddenly raging as she ground against him and flicked her tongue over his teeth. But the box in his pocket felt like it was burning a hole in his thigh, its presence and her reaction to its reveal all he could think about now that the moment was here.

He lifted her bodily back to the couch, nearly falling in her lap when (Y/N) refused to let go. “Baby, please.”

“No,” she whined and wiggled closer. “I like kissing you. I like doing other things just as much. I think you should take your clothes off, Steven.”

He groaned and dropped his head to her chest. “We’re due to get married… I don’t even know when, and I still haven’t given you your ring. Cut a guy a break, doll face.”

Her arms relaxed, but a pout was on her lips when he lifted his head from where it had landed.

“If I must,” she sighed, the sound long-suffering and incredibly queenly.

“Brat,” he snickered. “Sounding all prissy when it was you who sent me after bling, to begin with.” Her smile appeared, full and excited, and Steve felt his heart settle when joy returned hers.

“If I say gimme, will you scowl at me?” she teased.

“No, but I may call you greedy,” he chuckled and dug in his pocket for the box before getting up to sit beside her.

He clenched his fingers around the velvet when his gaze caught and hung on the locket around her neck. Steve reached for it slowly, touched the golden circle of the pendant with reverence and swallowed the emotion seeing her wearing it caused to rise in his throat. “You… like it?” The smile she gave him said everything.

“I love it. Bucky told me about it, about the one your mother had. I kind of want to think this one was hers.” A light blush coloured her cheeks when her fingers wrapped around the locket.

“With all the meddling Freyja’s been doing? I somehow wouldn’t put it past her.” He let his fingers caress the back of her hand before falling away to fiddle with the box. “So… I, uh…” Suddenly, he was dry mouthed and tongue-tied. Yes, she’d already agreed to marry him, but that didn’t seem to ease the rolling anxiety which had formed into a ball of lead in his stomach.

“Steve?” She frowned at him.

He rubbed a hand over his mouth and then over the back of his neck. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

***

You peered at him curiously, studying the sweat which had broken out on his brow and the rapid pace of his heart, and clued in quickly how nervous he was. “Stevie,” you smiled and reached for his hand. “I already said yes. This is just the icing.”

He took a deep breath and squeezed your fingers before going back to fiddling with the box. “Was… difficult to find what I wanted. Things seemed… too modern or too antique or they turned up their nose at the bands. Couldn’t find one that was what I thought was you until we stumbled on Freyja’s place. Though, now I wonder how much of a coincidence that was.” He frowned and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Saw these amazing designs and I just knew, if it wasn’t in that shop, I wasn’t going to find it.”

You were getting a little desperate with how he kept playing with it like it was a creature waiting to bite. “So… you found it?”

“She brought this out from the back and I… knew. It’s you.”

But now he was second guessing himself. “Steven.” You reached for him again and cupped his face with both hands. “Whatever you picked will be perfect because it’s from you.”

He sighed, a goofy smile curling his lips. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You were sure yours was just as goofy. “Can I?”

A slow nod was his acceptance as he lifted the lid and set the box in your hand. The scent of gold greeted your nose, and you traced your fingers over the ring gently. Delicate, was your first thought, with a prominent round stone. “Tell me about it,” you asked him, finding the stone in the middle a mystery. There were small diamonds set like links in a chain down the band, and you knew the ring Loki had produce would match it nearly perfectly.

“I… didn’t want something as common as a diamond for you. You’re so much more than a diamond. So much more special and unique. When I saw this,” he lightly touched the box, “I just knew. The stone reminded me of your eyes. So full of mystery and magic. There’s a milky white to it, but then the light catches it, and it fires with blues and purples and the softest pink. A surprise of colour, suddenly becoming more than it seems.” 

Your heart hit your throat and stuck there. You knew he meant those words about you as well. “What’s it called?” you somehow managed to force past the lump of emotion in your throat.

“A moonstone.”

A laugh escaped you as you plucked the ring from the box and held it out to him. “How fitting.”

“Why’s that?” he asked as he took the ring from your fingers.

You held out your hand. “Moonstone is the gift of lovers. It’s supposed to invoke the flames of passion between the couple forever.”

“And how would you know that?” he asked, his smile growing as he slipped the ring on the third finger of your left hand.

“Hey, I read! Well, I used to,” you smirked and cupped his cheek once the ring was situated to draw him in for a sweet, tender kiss. “It’s beautiful, Steve. I love it.”

His fingers captured yours so he could brush his thumb over your knuckles. “Even if you can’t really see it?” he asked quietly, kissing your finger beneath the new adornment. 

“Who says I can’t really see it?”

“Sam,” he sighed.

You rolled your eyes. “Well, Sam’s a bit of a dumbass. I see it, Steven. Both in my own way and in the way you described it. You paint pictures with your words. I see it, and it’s perfect.”

“Good.” He breathed out in relief and leaned in to kiss you again only to have someone bang on the door.

“Oi! Punk! That’s enough tradition breaking! Get your ass out here. I’m not afraid to come get you,” Bucky warned.

“Fuck off, Barnes!” you shouted, making Steve snicker.

“Still so mouthy,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss you as the door opened with a bang.

“Hey! None of that till after the wedding,” Bucky huffed, leaning against the door jam.

“When did he become the maiden aunt?” you muttered and placed a smacking kiss to Steve’s lips.

“Baby,” Steve laughed and pulled away while Bucky sputtered. “I’ll see you at the end of the aisle.”

“You’d best be waiting,” you grumbled. He stood to leave as Nat and Wanda waltzed in with garment bags.

“Loki sent us with this!” Wanda squealed, holding hers up. “He said he’d work on Steve.”

“What? Like I need work?” he scoffed.

You only smiled. “He’s likely going to explain the ceremony after cleaning you up.”

“I can clean myself up, you know,” Steve continued to grumble, making his way to the door.

“Hey, Rogers?” you called out right before the door shut.

“Darlin’?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to you shaving,” you teased, pulling at imaginary whiskers on your own chin.

He laughed and shut the door as you turned toward the girls.

“I’m getting married,” you giggled when the two of them rushed forward.

“Yes, you are!” Wanda laughed.

“Let’s see it.” Nat reached for your wrist.

“You already have!” Wanda huffed but sighed softly when her gaze fell on your ring. “Oh… he did so good!”

Laughing, you shared a group hug. “Make sure and tell him that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so nervous!”

“Captain Nerves of Steel actually flinched? I would have paid to see that,” Natasha teased. “He was so worried you wouldn’t like it.”

“He shouldn’t have been. He picked it, and his reasons why? Oh, wow,” you smiled again, sappy and ridiculously happy.

Soon, Odin and Thor would return, and then you would stand before them and exchange your vows with Steve. Happiness seemed all consuming when before only sorrow had been felt. But Steve was… Steve. He’d easily assuage your fears, your guilt, your anguish, and made you realize there was nothing you couldn’t do as long as you were together.

To the end of eternity… with him.

Giggling along with the girls, you gripped each hand tightly and bit your lip to hold back the excitement before tugging them further into the room. “I need your opinion on something.”

“What?” Natasha asked.

“It’s a surprise... for Steve,” you grinned and led them toward the tablet and what Bucky had helped pick out.

 Next Chapter

[mandi-cakes]

Vampire Hunter D: Blood & Sacrifice

Chapter 3: TIME’S RUNNING OUT

Leaving Deana where she slept, the two hunters headed for the other end of the station. Sequestered from the office rooms, there were four separate holding cells, one of which held the unconscious Two-Finger. First D called out the man's name. When he didn't receive a response, he banged on the cell door. Even Devan called out, nearly shouting. Still the man didn't move. However, there was a slight perceived change. The human eye wouldn't have been able to catch it, but a dhampir's could. Either he was still unconscious, or Two-Finger was playing opossum. D reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled out a single caltrop. Positioning it in his hand between his forefinger and thumb, he fired it, the bit of shrapnel flying fast and hard.

Hit in the ribs, the bandit jolted off his cot, rolling onto the floor with a pained and startled scream. "What in the holy flyin' fuck!"

"Get your ass up," Devan said, giving the cell door another knock.

"What the hell for? I don't even know you!"

"No, but you do know someone else," Devan said with a glare. "The dhampir who lead the hunt you were apart of here in Hampstead. One among many sitting in a Capital jail cell for a crime you and your buddies committed."

Two-Finger shook his head in confusion. Crime? What crime? He left that town the instant he got paid, although he did hear his fellow hunters griping about the whole ordeal with the woman in charge. Sure they had spoken in anger about getting back at her, but he didn't think they were serious. What could they have possibly done?

"You touched in the head or something?" Devan was taken aback, "It's been broadcasted across multiple news outlets. Where've you been to not know?"

"Honestly?" Two-Finger scratched his head, "Every bar in this sector...boozin', whorin', gettin' high... I ain't seen or heard a news report in weeks."

"Two towns, Hampstead and Stonewall, hundreds of people murdered in a single night. Everyone's in an uproar about it."

The bandit's jaw dropped, "My god... You...you sayin' they actually did it?"

"Yes...and we need your help."

                                               ***

From what Two-Finger knew, his former compatriots were fond of patrolling this side of the outer Frontier looking for work. The same few sectors, back and forth. There was rarely a shortage of people looking for help to rid their towns of monster infestations. But, when there was such a shortage, these hunters would concoct a plan in secret to ensure a select town would have such a problem that only they could solve. In the beginning, Two-Finger was more than willing to participate. He had his vices, a lot of them, and they all required money. But eventually, it became too much. Perhaps the conscience he'd been dulling decided to evolve, because he'd been growing tired of making people suffer just so he could throw back some top shelf liquor and pay women to let him between their legs. Then they came upon Hampstead, just another town ready to be relieved of what little it had to offer. This was the final straw. Of course, the hunters wanted him to stay. Sober, Two-Finger was the best archer they'd ever come across. As such they were quick to reassure him that so long as they stuck to the plan, nobody would be killed. Round up some lessor dragons, set them on the town, wait a day and see what happens. They even made sure to pull out the dragons' fangs. However, they didn't expect the townspeople to hire another hunter who happened by, nor did they realize that the dragons could regrow their teeth so quickly. Nothing about this plan worked the way it should have, and in the end it was watching a child being mauled to death that made Two-Finger back out of the group. Once he got his pay, he was done with these men. However, that in and of itself begged the question: if the child's death bothered him that much, why didn't he leave sooner? Simply put, so he could give back a portion of the money that was being taken, enough to help the grieving family and give the child a decent burial. He entertained the idea of blackmailing the others into giving back all of the money, or he'd let slip the truth. Although, that would've only ended badly for him. Two-Finger was of questionable morals, but he wasn't stupid. As sorry as he felt for the child's death, nothing was going to change that, and he still had his own life to worry about. Better to leave while he had the chance, off to the nearest roadhouse to forget the whole incident ever happened. Cue his current situation, locked in a cell and being glared at by a couple of unnervingly pretty young men. Thanks to his side of the story, though, he was free of the impending ass kicking. And not only would they let him out of his cell, but he could also partake in the search for his murderous cohorts. Was there a chance for compensation? It was likely the officials back in the Capital would pay him for his efforts, according to the tall man in black. Money, and the chance to enact some needed redress. Where was the dotted line for him to sign?

As if the previous altercation with the two hunters never happened, Two-Finger jumped to his feet, "Let's get the bastards!"

Knowing their habits as well as he did, Two-Finger listed their targets' usual stops and hideouts. Typically the devious group of hunters roamed about this same area spending their recent earnings, much like he did, so they couldn't be too far away. This brought the list down to two possible locations - a cave set in the nearby mountain range, or an abandoned chateau. This peaked Deana's interest as she lounged with a hot cup of coffee, having been woken up after the bandit's release. Did he mean the chateau on the bluffs a few miles shy of the border to the inner Frontier? But that was a Noble's abode, chock full of defenses that would kill them upon approach regardless of whether or not it was abandoned. It was this fact that had kept her from adding it to her list of places to explore. But, for the hunters this was precisely the reason it was chosen as a hideout, once they circumvented the security and reconfigured it for their own purposes. The reasons aside, the last point of order came into focus. Who would go where? D and Two-Finger would take the mountain cave, while Devan and Deana went to the chateau. Under the cover of night, they left the sheriff station and headed away from the town.

Traveling the winding forest trails, D and Two-Finger rode on horseback; the bandit sitting behind the hunter as his damaged motorbike was ditched out in the wilds after he was taken in. For the past few miles, the man in black had been silent, barely acknowledging his presence. Where was all the vim and vigor he had during their first meeting?

"So, uh," Two-Finger said with a slight cough, "that dhampir lady hire you or somethin'? I ain't ever seen hunters goin' after other hunters before...and you and that other bloke seem pretty driven to find my ol' partners."

A moment or so passed, then D replied firmly, "She's my wife..."

"I see," the bandit's eyes went wide. "I guess I'd be doin' the same as you if it was me own wife. And your partner?"

"He's not necessarily my partner," D said succinctly, "He's my son."

"And the l'il bit? A cutie like that...rather dangerous to be bringin' her along."

"That's my daughter you're referring to," D's voice had a noticeable bite. "Touch her and you're dead."

"Alright, alright," Two-Finger replied, raising his arms up in defense. "Protective papa, I get it." "It's not me you should be worried about. Now be quiet, I can see the mountain base coming up."

Two-Finger nearly choked on his next set of words, "Well, aren't you a prickly pear..."

D pulled the reins of his horse, stopping by a thick set of trees. Once the steed was hidden from sight, the unlikely pair continued on foot. Some yards later the forest path came to a bend, and from there the base of the mountain came into view. Rocks and boulders of every size littered the ground, the formation of some the products of various landslides. If there be a cave here, like Two-Finger had said, they'd make excellent cover. Without the right knowledge or guidance, one might never find this cave. Thankfully D had such a guide, as well as his own tracking skills to rely on. Though the bandit lead the way, the young man's nose caught the faint smell of smoke, and his eyes the sight of tire treads in the soil even though they'd been hastily covered. Moving around a heavy boulder, the two men stopped. A light flickered nearby, and multiple voices could be heard. Some brought up the massacres, and the rest evidently found them funny, most notably the apprehension of their former huntress leader. D reached for his sword, ready to confront these hunters head on. However, Two-Finger stopped him.

"Oy, not so fast," the bandit whispered. "These guys are plenty crafty, and rarely let their guard down. Best we get the drop on 'em, yeah?"

D stepped back as Two-Finger adjusted his gear. The longbow at his back was set, along with the crossbow holstered at his hip, with plenty of ammo in their respective quivers. The bandit then double checked his limbs. His arms and legs were fine, the tumble from his bike banged him up some, but otherwise no worse for wear. His prosthetic limbs, however, garnered a closer view. His right arm, underneath the tattered sleeve and glove, was nothing but steel-encased cybernetics. On his left hand, chunks of his natural flesh were missing. The pinky, ring finger, and thumb were gone, leaving only the fore and middle. And like the other parts of his body, these missing parts had been reconfigured with cyberwear. After such losses, one might quit the life of a bandit. But Alexander "Xan" Hibble was never one to listen to reason. Easy money had always been his game, and he wanted to keep playing. Thus Two-Finger was born. However, with the present circumstances, he'd at least consider going straight - more or less. Hopefully their little plan worked. Two-Finger would engage the hunters, then when the time was right, D would come in for the take down. As D stood by, the bandit approached the cave opening, passing through the jumble of parked armored cars. There they sat, a dozen road worn brutes cackling at each other's jokes by a small bonfire. Then upon hearing a sudden intruder, they whipped out their weapons.

Two-Finger cracked a smile as he put his arms up, "Easy, mates, it's just l'il ol' me."

"What's in your head? Thinkin' you can just waltz back in here,  traitor ..."

"Eh, that's a fair cop, I'd say..."

"Too right. You bailed on us! And now it's lookin' like you want back in. Fuck off."

"Oy, oy...settle down, man. In my defense, you swore nothin' bad would happen. And how well did that turn out, eh? It may be as black as coal, but I still got a heart don't I? I needed a break is all."

This particular hunter stared at Two-Finger, his gaze narrowing steadily. Clearly he was scrutinizing every word.

"Look," Two-Finger cleared his throat, "Ollie - mate, I get it. But let me make it up to you. I heard about them towns, and figured that was your handy work since you lot were lookin' to get payback on that dhampir wench. But from what I hear, the police are still lookin' for the culprit. They're willin' to pay handsomely too. So I say, if they want a ruthless dhampir hunter to arrest, don't just give 'em any ol' hunter-"

"What're you drivin' at, Xan?" Ollie asked suspiciously.

"Bring 'em the most ruthless dhampir hunter of them all. You know, that D bloke. Betcha your Aunt Fanny they'd fork over gobs of money for him."

At this Ollie's brows rose in thought, as did the rest of the group as they lowered their weapons.

"Huh...you think so? Might be worth a shot." Ollie rubbed his chin, "You think he'd be an easy target?"

"I dunno, mate" Two-Finger replied, "Here, lemme ask him." Then the bandit, keeping his sights on the men, shouted over his shoulder, "Oy, D! You think you're an easy target?"

Before the men had a chance to move, a shadowed figure rushed in from the darkness. Black raiment fluttering in the flurry of his own wind, the imposing hunter stood with his gaze alight in a hellish glow, his long sword at the ready. Ollie looked to Two-Finger, who had his crossbow aimed point-blank toward him. It seemed the man's suspicions were on the mark.

"Traitor," Ollie spat.

"Maybe," Two-Finger ginned. "But I'm not the one who slaughtered whole towns and framed an innocent woman...one, who just so happens to be me man's lady. Oy, D, we bringin' them all in?"

"We only need one." D's voice dripped with venom as he raised his sword, the hunters in turn brandishing their arms again, "You want a fight? Then let's fight. Come at me."

Read more of this chapter here

[trulyhopelessromantic]

There’s a lot going on with me internally so maybe it’ll help if I write it out?

This has to do with some impostor syndrome, some frustration about certain aspects, some feelings of loneliness, some lack of direction in life, and other stuff...

Heavily on my mind recently is the lack of interaction on my writing page on Facebook, my Patreon and anything to do with my advertisements of any pieces of my writing.

I’ve spoken on this before but right now I just feel friggen... angry. I tried to take a bit of a break on the more ‘serious’ work Beauty & the Brit which makes me some money every month on Patreon.com when I release new content for it and instead this month focus on some fun with The Nutcracker Prince story I wrote and finished last year by hosting some livestreams to interact with people about it and about Christmas and I dunno just encourage some escapism as well as get people to read the story and (hopefully) comment on it. All for free, I might add. So all the hours of work I’ve put in advertising this four-part event to the 4 part story is done of my own free will. Unless people read something and then decide to sign up as a patron, I am not getting paid this month for hosting these events on my official Facebook (as that is easiest to livestream from).

But like 1 person has joined in on the ‘fun’ and while I’m grateful for that I’m still upset. If I wanted to hang out with my friend I would just do so on a 2 way video chat. Granted, her boyfriend joined in on the game this week but she had to type his answers in via her profile so there was some delay...

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or selfish when I complain about things like this. But it’s coming from a place of me just being frustrated and met with this sort of radio silence over and over again when I try to work hard on developing my presence as an author via various social media. It really feeds into me feeling like maybe I need to focus on being a better writer not a better advertiser for my work. Makes me think I am shit at both things, actually. Because no matter how much advertising I do or how much content I release, I see no response towards it.

There’s nothing I hate more (well there are things but go with the phrase) than when I’m talking and you can tell people aren’t listening anymore because they start talking to someone else and/or walk away while I’m in mid-sentence. That’s what this feels like. Feels like I’m talking to myself; feels like I’m a ghost.

Look social media algorithms probably block my stuff from getting through certain places. Ok fine that’s shit but fine. However when I see traffic graphs on various sites I’m posting on going up, I begin to wonder. Coz clearly people are “walking by” but they aren’t stopping to look. Or if they are they aren’t impressed. It’s been said (not by me first) that reblogs and comments are the currency for an audience who consumes media whether a picture, video, piece of writing, you name it. Nobody is paying the price of admission. In fact barely anyone is even hitting ‘like’ on my stuff which frankly when I see that gets me excited for half a second until I realize they hit like but they can’t be bothered to also share what they like. Like throwing some glitter to say “hey pretty” or whatever but then walking away. Like looking at me for a second then moving on.

I have had the rare comment on a piece. But at this point it’s so rare that I just don’t get very excited anymore because the comment that I get rarely feels fulfilling. It’s like “OOOH I LIKE THIS” and then I never hear from the commenter again when I personally go in and thank them. It also doesn’t really feel as fulfilling because those comments are on my one-shots and fan-fics. So like stuff that people already like the characters enough to go and click on my work and then they say “good”. So I am good enough when it comes to a little one-shot about someone else’s character but my original work is left alone with me in my room, in my head, in my word documents and on the pages where I publish it but it’s only appreciated by my eyes. That’s what this silence feels like.

2020 has been hard on everyone in different ways and I could go on for a long time about all the difficulties I’ve faced myself but generally right now I just want to acknowledge the frustration and anger I feel at trying so hard this year to keep myself together enough to post consistently and produce writing content and related content and put my work out there and keep advertising and hosting things to garner interest and then have so little to show for it. 

Frankly I feel so sad to the depth of my core at this. I’m trying I’m putting my energy into something out into the universe and am met with thoughts of “you’re not good enough and what you’re doing is not good enough because as you can see there’s so little returning to you for this”. It’s not great.

I feel like I have to reinvent my whole process, my whole routine, my everything to do with writing. I have to stop what I’m doing, I have to just go silent and write and get better at that and then maybe seek out other pastures like trying to hire an agent or something instead of independently trying to gain some interest in what I do. Maybe friggen write short pieces for magazines (gag) or something like that to “prove my worth” as a writer.

I don’t want to give up but I’m running out of steam some nights and some days. I emotionally don’t and I emotionally can’t keep doing this.

So I dunno what to do. Maybe Beauty & the Brit gets put away and I work on novel(s) that I want to traditionally publish and not get money on Patreon anymore because that’s just my friends and sister on there (currently) giving a couple of dollars to me a month and even they aren’t interacting much with the content (1 person is maybe once a month or so). That’s not great. 1 of 5. 

And another thing is that I’m too shy to prompt people in their inboxes or personally and individually ask them to take action. Whether friends or whether potential readers; I feel silly going and messaging people and handing them a link. It feels like spamming people or something. I’ve never been good with that sort of thing and I hate conflict I don’t want to alienate people. If I’ve asked you once to check out a piece of my work it’s generally because I felt it was appropriate to do; it wasn’t random and unsolicited. 

And anyway this feeling of putting out more than I’m getting back is in a lot more than just my writing/advertising of that. It’s in other relationships in my life and other scenarios that I don’t want to detail here because I could go on for awhile and only upset myself and possibly those people too if they read this. As my counselor told me in the summer (when I had a complete break down and had to call our city’s distress line to find someone to help me out with my stress) I’ve let people cross my boundaries and I know I keep letting this happen because I’m... I’ve never been a person good with conflict. I don’t like also feeling like I’m being selfish or unreasonable or high maintenance or a bother or a burden. I also know that certain things in the lives of people around me would be made easier and/or better if I keep my mouth shut about how I’m actually feeling. Or would be made better if I do something even if I’m not up to it/not up for it. For months now I on again and off again do things I don’t want to because I know it will improve the life/day of someone else. I know in my head I have to stop it for my own sake but I can’t bring myself to acknowledge it to that other person or persons when I know it would *possibly* upset them to hear. So round and round I go. Furthermore a lot of these individuals are dealing with bigger mental health problems than I am or that I ever had. I know it’s not my job to hold them up but it’s hard to put down a boundary that I know will be really difficult for that other person to find in between us.

Also, recently I’ve started to feel lonely again. I try not to think about it or acknowledge it but it keeps popping its head round. I’m getting older and I still have no romantic interests. Yeah 2020 made that real difficult to solve so I get that and for the record NO I will not be joining online dating so don’t suggest or ask. No. But like I just wonder when and where I’m going to find someone I want to date and that wants to date me. At this point it feels weird for me to say that because I feel like I should be in a long term relationship and/or married and/or thinking about marriage. What depresses me is that I know I couldn’t and shouldn’t marry someone after knowing them only a couple years. So, I have this sense of urgency because if I’m going to be with the man I’m going to marry for several years then time was up long ago. I don’t want to start having kids when I’m about to turn 40. And no, I will not be having children before I’m married. It’s probably dumb to others but to me it’s not at all unreasonable to want to have time spent with my future husband before we marry. Coz the thing is my biggest fear is not knowing enough about one another and really being sure enough and then divorcing down the road and heaven forbid I have kids in the divorce. As a child of divorce myself that has always been my biggest fear. Anyway enough with the analysis of all that I just... I’m friggen trulyhopelessromantic for gosh sakes and I have not experienced romance myself yet. It makes me want to sob. So I just don’t think about it other than matter of factly (I don’t have a love interest. Dot, period, the end) and don’t acknowledge it much. But it really, really bothers me.

As does the fact that I have no easily visible career path. Again 2020 botched some ideas I had and I’m sitting here feeling frankly hopeless that I can’t and won’t find something to do for work that I’m going to enjoy doing. Because writing right now is not anywhere close to being an income; it’s like some weekend spending money that I get once a month to cover one weekend a month; it’s quite a low amount. And I have been trying sooo hard to make it work out to be a little more than that. A little. But as said, no. I got a temporary job this winter to work a festival but due to this damned virus we never went through with it. I was REALLY hoping to get that money. That’s another fucking stress is money. I need it; we all do.

My brother gets money monthly for income support (which to my understanding means he has to look for jobs while on it but doesnt...!?!?? yet still receives it) and on top of that the child tax credit for having his daughter in his care. It drives me mental to see him pretty much always buying what he wants when he wants and sitting in our basement not fucking cleaning it up and smoking pot a few times a day and leaving all the fucking weed stems around down there that our basement smells horrible and playing video games (whenever a new one comes out he seems to have it) and watching Netflix and TV and buying Christmas gifts he got a $100 giftcard for my sister with cash without batting an eye as I looked on meanwhile me I was thinking spending $40 on each sibling was a bit much especially in my budget and now I feel like I need to put more because all of them guaranteed are getting me gifts that will be worth more than that. But, they’re all working (minus him) and I’m not. I mean I have my casual contracting work with Apprenticeship but I get paid only $100 and it’s once a month and now they’re fucking taking away the 12.75 I have normally claimed on top of that for travel because “it’s not parking and you’re not coming from out of town so transit fares might not qualify for reimbursement” since the fuck when!? FUck. sorry that’s sometihing from earlier in the week and I’m typing so fast with mistakes coz I’m so mad at that. I barely make anything and now they’re cutting that back too. Anyway back to my brother basically he does nothing all day with so few worries and gets paid by the government meanwhile I feel like I’m in a fucking crisis trying to find a career path and a job path.

I rarely apply for jobs because I can’t bring myself to look, I can’t bring myself to know what to look for, I can’t bring myself to apply for anything that I know will be temporary or anything that I know I do’t want to stay in because I am sick of having a max 3 year turnover when I have a job. I want to go into something with the hope of staying around, growing, and ultimately enjoying what I’m doing too. My jobs in life thus far have all had to end and only a couple of them I even liked in the first place and that makes me sad that I don’t have any idea on what I want to do and can do and should do. I thought hey let me be an EA I didn’t mind that job when I did it in London. Yeah our provincial gov cut funding and reduced jobs in that sector combined with COVID that’s going to be a high supply job with people a lot more experienced than me applying for the limited positions. So fuck. Then teaching is kinda the same thing and I sure as hell cannot start my teaching career during a pandemic; I mentally can’t do it and the schools aren’t hiring me to do it even as a supply teacher. They’ve rejected me a number of times even pre-pandemic. Great.

Oh go back to school then! Yeah ok what money am I using to do this? What program am I taking? Again, I have no clear answers so why take a step into fog?

I want something clear, a fairly clear path that I can confidently take steps on. Or an end-goal that I can plan for. But I don’t have any of that. I feel lost. 

I’ve felt lost for awhile in a lot of parts of my life. I’m just floating, just existing, just...being. Just stuck. Just depressed (not diagnosed but some days I do wonder if I have a mild form somehow).

Further to this all I have unresolved grief which my on-going counselor can’t help me with until the new year because she “needs to get permission to do the grief counselling she’s trained in”.  I guess I could seek help elsewhere, I realized that as I typed out that last bit. I dunno. I just... miss my nephew and I have put up pictures of him but I don’t actually start to think about him because that grief comes up inside me. I won’t detail all those thoughts and feelings now because I don’t want to process them at 12:22 am and be sobbing in my room here. So I’ll just leave that there and say that I miss him.

I also feel like I have such a short attention span sometimes. And in recent years like there’s something wrong with my brain because I sometimes have bad word recall in the middle of talking or typing. Both of these things bother me and scare me. Not going to go into that because again it’s better for me emotionally not to actually delve into it.

I am doing that a lot with a lot of things: starting to have a thought or emotion and putting it away. Because I can’t process it and/or don’t want to acknowledge it because of how deeply it will upset me.

And there are more things that bother me and weigh on me but I won’t get into them because some of them aren’t actively going on right this moment and no use getting upset about past stuff (that will eventually repeat and/or come back to bother me more at a later date)...

I’m going to keep this post handy for when I talk to my on-going in the new year. We’ve only ever had 2 sessions so I just don’t know much about what to expect and/or talk about but this might help?

I feel like the guy in the summer I spoke to gave me that solid talk about boundaries and that has helped me a lot or at least opened my eyes a lot and now I just need to find the right footing with my on-going counselling. IDK we’ll see.

Well I’ll conclude this late-night blogging; maybe it’s helped to get it all out physically? I hope so; releasing a bit of steam from the bottle as it were.

oh damn and I forgot to mention about feeling so sad and drained about Christmas this year. Ever since I can remember I’ve always gone to my grandparents’ house for our traditional Christmas Eve meal and gone to church then slept over at their place and awoken Christmas Day there. Then of course the 2 yrs I was in London I didn’t get to do that but at least I got to Skype the family as they did it and still felt a part in some small way. Well now this fucking virus and damn assholes not doing their part to slow the curve has made it so that we have to do the entire thing on video chat this year and I honestly might be able to get over the meal bit of it being digital but I can’t wrap my head around waking up Christmas Day in my own bed in my own house. Like I’m about to cry writing that out. So going to file that away like the rest and end here.

Fucking fuck.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW5

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Laporte - rip

IN: Otamendi - god help me

Unfortunately I was unable to save off the back of the WC which never feels great, but hopefully making a lateral swap here which frees up 1m to boot.

I don't really imagine this going well, since I have slated Ota for a while, and think he's more or less a red card shout / absolute shit house player generally speaking, but here we are.

If it's a transfer waiting to happen, so be it, but the bottom line is I still want a share in City's defense, I don't trust Everton for cleans still, and something didn't feel quite right going all the way down to a Burnley guy in a spot on my team which I realistically need to start week in week out... Until Pep shows us that he is willing to play anyone not named Otamendi as the LCB with Laporte out then I will just hope and pray he doesn't kill anyone (which would thus kill himself with a ban) and doesn't die. Whatever. Cue Dinho and Schtones at CB tomorrow.

Post international break GW is usually a complete disaster crisis gameweek so I am just simply trying to brace myself for it ahead of time.

GK:

Pope (bha)

Pope is looking good in this moment with the good run of fixtures incoming. He's been just a bit below average with only one return through four but the underlying metrics are looking good for him and hopefully he's just a long term hold guy I don't have to worry about.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (NEW)

Trent and Robbo with the home banker okay lets go Livp. Early game so much of my mood for the ensuing foots will be decided by these boys. Realistically a win to nil at home against a bad bus feels like a reasonable expectation for this one so hopefully it comes to fruition.

Otamendi (nor)

New nightmare Ota is straight in, obv. Somewhat tricky away fixture for a clean but it's still City so he'll just be an auto start every game until I remove him.

Lundstram (SOU)

Finally, Lundstram gets his first go in my squad home to Soton.

I'm going to be rotating him in and out over the near term so we'll see if this is the beginning of something beautiful between us or the beginning of a fraught relationship that will lead to me hating him for the rest of my life. Time will tell.

MID:

Salah (NEW) & Sterling & De Bruyne (nor)

The trio of Mo Raz and Kev remain and likely will do for some time. Really nothing to say about these three other than they are good. Spots I don't really need to think about at this time.

McGinn (WHU)

Rounding out midfield is someone who is not really that good in McGinn.

Good home fixture with West Ham rolling up so hopefully he is able to get in there. If he looks bad and/or they look bad then I might fuck him off.

He's on a short leash, that's for sure, as he was really the one shit place I compromised on my WC team since I wanted to plump for Laporte... With that money freed up now, no other problems in my team, and a new price bracket open to me... I might fuck him off even if he does return. Who is to say?

FWD:

Pukki (MCI) & Haller (avl)

Pukki and Haller the two amigos seem like just a couple great value picks and happy to have them.

Great fixture for Haller and he might slowly but surely present himself as a long term hold. Stats and eye test are there with him not to mention the price is right - think he's a really tidy option.

Pukki has a tough fixture but as Farke showed us the lightning and thunder in GW1 at Anfield who knows what's what with them. Obviously they are completely decimated by injury, but I need to see multiple bad attacking performances before I begin to worry here.

CAP:

Sterling (nor)

Going back to the Raz well again. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, fucking hell fuck me.

Still don't feel confident enough capping Kevin over Raz, and probably won't do all season, if I'm being honest here.

I think Norwich with no fit defensive players (Farke's words, not mine) and the style they employ is not a comparable fixture to a Newcastle bus so I didn't really think about Mo this weekend.

Counting on Raz to not have 0 shot attempts again this week. Obviously the trip to Ukraine midweek for UCL is a thing that is happening, but whatever. 

Trying to predict how Pep hands out minutes is like (insert funny thing here) and I don't really want to find some psychological line to talk me into Raz will play 53 minutes only to see him haul and play 88.

Been there before, not trying to go there again.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Deulofeu

IN:  Che Adams

Gerry dropped all the way down to 6.2 so there was a relatively small and unimpressive pool of dudes for me to choose from for this punty spot in my team.

Realistically this is a one or maybe two week punt before I pop my Wildcard next week or the week after... Che has actually insanely good expected stats which is nothing to scoff at even though the goals have not flowed at all...

The greater skill to have and the harder skill to find is to keep getting off the high xG shots rather then to be finishing at a higher rate above your xG, if that makes sense... I hope I’ve worded that clearly...

Anyway, TLDR: Che is doing stuff, Southampton are an attacking team in an attacking setup, Ralph is good I like Ralph, and Soton have the fixtures over the next two. And that’s why I went Che.

COME ON CHE!!!

GK:

Ederson (nor)

City gotta clean their shit up a bit if they’re gonna be a 20+ cleans type of dominant force again this season but yeah of course I back them to do exactly that.

Eddy’s been mostly really good this season and I feel comfy with him.

DEF:

van Dijk (NEW)

It’s time for rotation to begin for the top teams... feels good to have the safety of VVD who is a rock. And this clean should be straightforward for Liverpool.

Digne (bou)

I’m a little nervy about Everton’s defending and their ability to limit good chances... Digne kinda papers over the cracks with his terrific attacking output, but if they start looking like cleans are going to be a rarity this season then even his attacking numbers will not make him worth the 6.0+ million.

Maitland-Niles (wat)

Ainsley AKA Ashley was rightfully so very deep on my bench for liv TOT and he put up one pointers in each of those so we’re fine.

In his two starts for me (GW1 and 2) he got twelve and two puntos respectively so he’s still been a sneaky great guy for me thus far... Arsenal’s very long very good run of fixtures starts now but Bellerin also is coming back soon so time is running out.

Hoping Arsenal can do a job and keep out the Quique Sanchez Flores bus this week and maybe he’ll sneak another attacking return. Come on Ashley.

Emerson (wol)

Starting Emmy here because Wolves suck at attacking and Chelsea could still keep a clean and Emerson could still get an attacking return who knows?

Rudi looks like he’s back this week which is a huge upgrade and Kante will be back soon which is another huge upgrade but yeah, not feeling great about this pick.

Also Emerson’s injury news doesn’t look great for me but if he doesn’t play I have Söy coming in in a cleanable fixture at Old Trafford so not too bad.

MID:

Salah (NEW) & Sterling & De Bruyne (nor)

Doing the trendy thing and just grouping these sexy fucks together because they’re all awesome and they have good fixtures and that’s all you need to know about that.

Mount (wol)

Everyone knows the deal with Mount. Looks great, takes a lot of shots, presses like a maniac, on frees and corners, it’s just good stuff. At his price it’s just good.

FWD:

Pukki (MCI)

Pukki in a yikes fixture here we go... Norwich are so fucked up and injured I don’t know I definitely don’t expect any points here but maybe they get one or two good counters or maybe Pukki takes a pen or something. He’s good enough to roll out there, for sure.

Adams (shu)

I said all I needed to say about lord Che in the transfers section.

CAP:

De Bruyne (nor)

I guess everyone has Sterling and a lot of people have Kun and understandably they’re garnering most of the captaincies that I’m seeing around the block.

Kevin, for me, so far this season is on a completely new level that we haven’t really seen from him before. His expected stats are out of control and he’s also got the seventh highest Fantasy Goal Involvement percentage of all mids at 54% which is craaaazy high for a team like City.

For what it’s worth too in the past Pep has rode Kevin like a horse in the league and he’s not really ever been a rotation risk. I feel ~some~ percent safer of him starting these kinds of games before UCL then I do with the forwards.

Come on Kev treat me.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: GNAR

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Laporte

IN: Otamendi

I don’t feel like I have too much choice in who to take out this week. Laporte having knee surgery and set to miss the rest of 2019 means he’s an absolute no brainer to axe.

Who to replace him with is a much more interesting question.

I’ve been playing 5 at the back all season and it hasn’t worked out as well as I’d hoped so far. But I do feel like I’ve been unlucky with Laporte’s injury and his missed clean sheet being the icing on the cake.

If I went for a cheapo like Lundstram, there aren’t many midfielders I’d be desperate to bring in with the spare cash, apart from KDB, who is out of my reach anyway. So I’ll be continuing my Heavy D strategy, bringing in Otamendi, who is 5.4 and nailed on in a top 2 defence.

GK:

Leno (wat)

New manager for Watford, so an inevitable new manager bounce.

I have Heaton (WHU) as a rotation option, but the odds point to Leno for the clean sheet, although it’s quite marginal.

DEF:

Digne (bou)

I didn’t watch their 3-2 victory against Wolves but I heard Digne looked defensively dodgy. I did watch their 2-0 defeat to Villa the previous week, and while Everton looked completely toothless and unconvincing, Digne at least offered a bit of attacking threat. I’m not expecting a clean sheet here, but Digne has 9 chances created this season. For a defender, that’s second only to…

Alexander-Arnold (NEW)

14 chances created – 14, compared to Digne’s 9; Trent absolutely wipes the floor.

I took a hit last week to upgrade VVD to Trent and I got an immediate positive net return from it. As well as his excellent attacking prospects, Liverpool also have the best clean sheet odds this week by quite a distance.

Robertson (NEW)

Very good chance of a clean sheet this week and although he’s no Alexander-Arnold, he also offers a very good goal threat.

Maybe I’m guilty of picking and choosing stats here, but out of defenders, Robertson’s 2nd for touches in the box this season (12), which is quite a biggie for me when assessing players’ attacking potential.

Otamendi & Zinchenko (nor)

Welcome to the team, Ota.

With Laporte injured, I expect Ota to nail down a place in the first team. Enough said.

Zinchenko has a bit of a Mendy threat looming, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, another well priced Man City defender who will trickle points as long as he starts. Lacks the explosiveness of KDB (yeah he’s explosive now) or Aguero, but for 5.5, I’ll take a 6 pointer every 2 weeks for sure.

MID:

Salah (NEW) & Sterling (nor)

Grouping these two together because there’s just not that much to say. The two best players in the game don’t need writing about, especially when their fixtures are as easy as this. The only question is which one to captain.

Mount (wol)

14 shots in total this season, 7 on target, both are the highest of any other midfielder. But with only 5 of those shots coming from inside the box and an xG of 0.82, perhaps he’s a bit opportunistic and has been a bit fortunate.

Mount still feels like a bit of an unknown quantity to me and I haven’t watched too much Chelsea this season, but he’s well priced and there are plenty of other options in his bracket, so happy to see how he gets on over the next few.

FWD:

Jota (CHE)

I always like to plan my ideal transfers a few weeks ahead.

Before the last gameweek started, I was planning Jota to Barnes. Unfortunately Laporte got injured, so my priority changed and Jota stays with me for one more week. And Barnes is now injured anyway, so maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

Jota is a funny one. He’s scoring for fun in the Europa League, but looking absolute garbage the following Sunday in the Premier League. He was in the squad, but played 0 minutes in Portugal’s 2 games over the IB. I feel like Jota might redeem himself.

Pukki (MCI)

The main man for Norwich.

If they score, there’s a very good chance that Pukki will be involved.

As an Ota + Zinc owner though I’m kind of hoping they don’t.

CAP:

Salah (NEW)

A real coin toss.

Salah and Sterling are both fantastic options this week, like they are every week.

So far, every gameweek I’ve picked the lowest scoring one out of the two. In week 3, I went against my instinct and went for Raz over Mo, which backfired. This week, my instinct is telling me Mo so I’m just going with it.

[golfnomad]

Norcal in September, Day 4: The Final Push

After 63 holes on Monday, I was back at it again on Tuesday with another 63 holes. The real grueling part was knowing I still had a 7-hour-or-so drive home that night! I was hoping to hit the road a bit earlier than I did, but a special circumstance came up that caused an unexpected  3-hour detour. More on that later.

Not counting the final round I squeezed in, Tuesday was focused around the city of Roseville, which is just northeast of Sacramento. With all the courses in Roseville, Lincoln, Rocklin and then Auburn a bit further east, this is an area that is certainly loaded with golf. I’ve been doing pretty good in recent years to make a big dent in this part of the greater Sacramento region.

First, came the early morning round...

Morgan Creek Golf Club • Roseville, CA • 9/19/17

My friend and I had an early tee time and were aiming to be the first off at the crack of dawn—or maybe even a few minutes before there was enough light to see much. An older couple beat us to the first tee in the dark. The pro shop guy assured us that they were regulars who were super-fast. “Nobody ever catches them,” he says.

Those words only served as a challenge to us, as we pride ourselves on playing quickly and we had another tee time to get to across town. We let them go ahead and even gave a slight head-start as I wanted at least a tiny bit of daylight to work with for pictures. Admittedly, they were very quick players and they jumped out to a good lead. By the time we got to the back nine, however, we caught up to them and started to push. They relented and finally let us play through with a handful of holes left to go.

The rack price for a weekday morning round was $50, which seemed rather steep and was definitely overpriced for this course at the moment. I’ll talk about conditions in a bit, but they were fairly disappointing. It’s too bad because the course layout turned out to be one of my favorites on this entire trip.

Morgan Creek used to be a private club and it’s only in recent years that it went fully public. You can tell the economy and the drought definitely took a toll on this place, which is unfortunate.

Morgan Creek was designed by Kyle Phillips, who is a modern course architect who recently came to my attention when I played the famed California Golf Club of San Francisco a couple months back. He led the most recent renovation of that great course. And as I did more research I found that almost all of his United States projects were renovations at high-end clubs such as Wilshire, Del Paso, Incline Village and Menlo CC. Otherwise, the majority of his courses are overseas.

However, Morgan Creek is currently the only course in the U.S. that Phillips designed from the ground up. With that knowledge, I was certainly interested in playing it despite it being a course that really doesn’t garner a lot of attention. 

Well, I sure hope Mr. Phillips is able to develop more new courses in California and that his proposed Alameda Point project (which sounds like a brand new resort course in conjunction with a major renovation of the Chuck Corica complex in the East Bay) gets further off the ground. As a course layout, Morgan Creek is a gem.

With the fairway and rough conditions being less-than-desirable, we kind of had to use our imagination a bit to visualize what this course must have looked like in its heyday (and hopefully can look like again). Phillips apparently worked for Robert Trent Jones II Design and you can definitely sense some RTJ (Junior and Senior) influence along with maybe a little Dye thrown in. 

Morgan Creek plays through a nice natural area along a creek. There are plenty of old oak trees in play, so the setting has a good feel and there aren’t many houses infringing on the course despite it being in the middle of a gated residential community. There really aren’t any significant changes in elevation here, but a lot of earth was moved to shape the course. Most fairways are lined with different mounds, steps and shelves to create a visually interesting contour. The greens are mostly elevated and also surrounded by a lot of similar undulation and some deep bunkers to add some intimidation. Beyond the creek that can come into play on many holes, there are other large man-made water hazards to contend with throughout the course.

Some could argue the course has a bit of a “manufactured” look in places, which is often the knock against RTJ Jr. and Dye. I felt like it added a lot of character at Morgan Creek and only enhanced the nice natural setting. I don’t know if my pictures will really show these contours due the spotty conditions and also the lack of light for much of the front nine as we played so early.

To me, the highlight holes were 10, 11 and 18, which all have a similar vibe. The 10th is a solid par-5 with a water hazard running the length of the hole on the left. Just off the fairway to the left is a steep slope down to the water, so you’re quite lucky if you hit over there and the ball stays up. 

The 11th plays straight back along that same water hazard. It is a long and demanding par-4. The 18th is a very strong finisher that doglegs left around a water hazard. The par-3s that stick out are easily the 7th and 16th, which both play over water hazards and have well-protected greens.

As mentioned, the conditions left a lot to be desired and we also battled with maintenance on the greens throughout our round. The tee boxes were flat enough to get a tee in the ground, but the ground was firm and the grass was patchy at best on most blue tees. The fairways were patchy and inconsistent. There were some muddy wet spots, some really firm hardpan sections, some shaggy areas, and some thin spots. It looked decent from afar as you’ll see in pictures, but not so nice up close in most areas. The rough was more of the same, just any grass was longer. I will say the back nine was probably in slightly better shape than the front for whatever reason. They did have really nice soft bunker sand, so that was a highlight. 

The greens were pretty good as well, other than the amount of grass clippings left on top from the mower. We played around the guys with blowers clearing them off, so we only got a few holes that weren't covered with clippings. Otherwise, the greens were receptive and rolling well at medium/fast speeds, and I am sure they were much nicer for later players once the wet grass clippings were cleared off. 

I’m mixed on whether I should recommend Morgan Creek to my fellow traveling golfers. It is a design worth checking out. I don’t know if we just caught the course in a bad time of year or if it is on a consistent downward trajectory in terms of conditioning. I have to say almost everywhere else we played was in very nice shape, so that doesn’t bode well for Morgan Creek. 

Some pictures from Morgan Creek Golf Club (9/19/17):

Next, we had a little unfinished business to take care off across town...

Diamond Oaks Golf Course • Roseville, CA • 9/19/17

We had initially tried to play here in July, but got screwed by a “phantom” early morning tee time that we had booked but didn’t really exist. We had a Costco voucher for 2 players that we wanted to utilize. They were unable to get us out that morning and the guy in the pro shop was not the most pleasant character.

They were much nicer this time around and we moved up to an 8:58 tee time after finishing so quickly at Morgan Creek. It was fairly busy at Diamond Oaks, though. We just played as a twosome behind some other groups and really didn’t have anywhere to jump ahead. However, we had nobody pushing behind us either. So we would just take 15-20 minute breaks every couple holes, watch TV on our phones and then play 1-2 holes at a time without having to wait in between shots. The overall pace really wasn’t that bad as we finished in about 4 hours, 20 minutes.

Diamond Oaks is one of this area’s older municipal courses with a pretty traditional design by Ted Robinson. The layout turned out to be more interesting than I expected though. It has some slight changes in elevation and it uses the natural terrain pretty well with plenty of trees in play. 

My favorite holes were the 4th, 6th and 12th. The 4th is a nice short-ish par-4 set in the back corner of the property. It is a dogleg right with an uphill approach. The 6th is a fun par-5 that I wish I had more local knowledge of before playing as I royally screwed up my second shot over the ravine. Otherwise, it is a split fairway design that will make you think on each shot. 

The 12th is kind of the signature par-3 over water, which you might expect on a Robinson course. No waterfalls or wood planking, though.

Diamond Oaks was in solid condition. Again, for a course of this caliber, nothing much to complain about. The tee boxes were fine. The fairways and rough were a mix of bermuda and kikuyu (more kikuyu, though), but fairly well maintained with mostly good coverage. You just had to pay attention to the lies before swinging. The bunkers were on the thin side. I found them just adequate enough while my playing partner found them to be way too firm. As was the theme for this trip, the greens here were excellent. They were receptive and rolling smooth at medium/fast speeds. 

It’s easy to see why Diamond Oaks gets so much local play. It is a solid layout with above average conditioning for a muni, and good deals are very easy to find. It’s not a must-play for the traveling golfer visiting the Sacramento area, but it’s good enough to enjoy a regular round.

Some pictures from Diamond Oaks Golf Course (9/19/17):

What was supposed to be my final round for the trip was kind of the main reason for this particular visit to the Sacramento area...

Sierra View Country Club • Roseville, CA • 9/19/17

My friend has an NCGA membership and signed me up as a guest for this outing, which was supposed to be on Monday and the reason why we had the travel dates for this trip all locked in. However, there was a scheduling conflict and they had to cancel the outing somewhat last minute. Instead, the club just opened it up to all attendees to schedule individual tee times on other days. It was cool they did that rather than cancel it altogether.

It worked out well because it gave us a lot more flexibility. We loosely set up a 2:09 tee time. The registration price for guests was only $60 and it also included a free lunch. We had time to relax and eat in the clubhouse before heading to the first tee. 

It wasn’t super busy out, but there were enough people on the course to slow things down. And unfortunately, a lot of people jumped on the 10th tee ahead of us as we were making the turn. They were either people only playing the back nine or they had taken long breaks in between nines. After this, we had to get a little creative. We played 15-18 and then circled back to play 10-14. It was a good move and definitely saved us some time.

Sierra View is another somewhat older course that was originally designed by Jack Fleming, who is best known for his work on San Francisco’s municipal course collection. It definitely has a traditional vibe and a nice presentation.

The course is rather hilly, so the changes in elevation provide a lot of natural character in addition to the mature trees lining all the fairways. Many of the greens are elevated, but the complexes are fairly simply designed and the bunkering isn’t too intimidating. This layout is mostly about positioning yourself safely off the tee (don’t hit a tree or catch a side slope) and then you’ll have some decent scoring opportunities. 

The back nine is easily more memorable than the front, especially the closing stretch of 14-18. Otherwise, Sierra View has a really strong collection of par-3s. The 5th and 12 feature elevated tees hitting downhill to the greens. The 8th and 17th both find you hitting over water hazards with elevated tees and greens. We had quite a bit of wind on Tuesday afternoon, which made 8 and 17 especially play very long. I found myself using a driver on the 168-yard 17th, only to come up about 10 yards short after a solid shot! Mind you, a good drive for me is only 200-210 yards max these days, but that’s still a very stiff wind.

Conditions were very nice overall, and again we had fantastic greens that were receptive and rolling super smooth at medium-fast speeds. The fairways and rough were all nicely conditioned kikuyu (with the occasional bermuda patch here and there). The bunkers were excellent, as well. There wasn’t anything to knock about the conditions here.

The facilities are nice and relaxed, and the staff was great. We felt really welcomed and comfortable as outside guests on a normal day of play. The food was also quite good.

Sierra View isn’t one of Northern California’s more prominent private clubs, but it is well worth playing if you ever have a chance. It offers an old school, friendly club vibe with a very enjoyable classic course design.

Some pictures from Sierra View Country Club (9/19/17):

Now, Sierra View was supposed to be my last round for the day so I could hit the road back home and perhaps get home at a reasonable hour. However, something else came up that couldn’t be ignored, even though it was well out of the way...

Camino Heights Golf Course • Camino, CA • 9/19/17

I mentioned in my previous article that my friend and I split up on Monday afternoon because we had different local course collecting priorities. He went off to play Apple Mountain, which is my personal favorite in the Sacramento area and one that I hope to play again someday. However, there are still so many other courses I need to play, which is why I stayed in town and knocked out a few shorties instead.

Anyway, in planning for Apple Mountain, he wanted to knock out nearby Camino Heights if he was going to drive out that way. In calling around, he discovered that Camino Heights actually just closed. Northern California short courses have been dropping like flies in recent years, which is sad. Every time I plan a trip, I have to update my list and cross off a few more. It turns out that Camino Heights’ last official day in business was Sunday. What a bummer that we just barely missed it. Or did we?

Still, he stopped by there after finishing at Apple Mountain to see what it looked like. In talking with some residents of the community that he ran into, it turns out that the course did close. However, a couple other residents just bought it and have plans to reopen it in the future, perhaps as a private course just for the residents of Camino Heights. 

What made things interesting is that the flags were still out on the course and it was accessible for play. The little parking lot and pro shop were completely deserted, but some scorecards were out. Basically, they said it’s just a play-it-as-is-if-you-want situation while the course is essentially in limbo. 

He was able to play it that evening and I wasn’t going to be outdone. I had to make my way out there on Tuesday evening before heading home, even though it meant getting home after 3:00am instead of around midnight! The course was available to play, it was free and its future is very uncertain. It may or may not reopen and it may only be private when it does, so I had better play it while I for sure could.

Camino is about 45 minutes east of Sacramento on the way to South Lake Tahoe. I was able to take side streets down straight from Roseville, but it is brutal drive in rush hour traffic. It took me over an hour to get down there. I found the course and finished walking it just before dark.

Fortunately, Camino Heights is/was only a 9-hole course with a par of 31. It features four relatively short par-4s mixed with five par-3s of varying lengths. That made it playable with my time constraints. Unfortunately, this is a very hilly course with a sometimes confusing, tangled routing, so it was completely exhausting to walk, carry my full bag and play fast at the end of a grueling golf trip. I survived, though.

It’s actually a fun little course thanks to the changes in elevation and rural setting. I hope the new owners are able to recover and restore it as much as possible.

Otherwise, calling the conditions “as-is” is exactly that. The course just officially closed and you can tell they haven’t been putting in that much effort in its final weeks/months of business. The fairways are super shaggy, lumpy, patchy, etc. The greens are ugly. There was even one temporary green in play. 

The conditions were not good, and I didn’t expect them to be. It was at least moderately playable, which is all I could hope for in this situation. It was enough to say I officially played the course. I have the scorecard and pictures to prove it!

Some pictures from Camino Heights Golf Course (9/19/17):

[leio13]

The Secret Garden

A Soukoku fic

WARNING PURPOSEFULLY EXCLUDED! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! (I promise nothing sexual)

Summary: Dazai decides to what all high-school students do--date!

I made a change to the usual formatting. Can you find it?

Brunnera

Masterpost | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Ao3

After much time spent begging Mori, Dazai had been allowed to attend a private high school in the neighborhood instead of continuing homeschooling. While at Natsume Academy, Dazai had many opportunities to see the town, and he often spent his free time at home telling Chuuya of the amazing things he had encountered. Even then, he eventually seemed to run out of things to tell. It was just one town after all.

One fine spring afternoon though, Dazai had interesting news. He hurried to the garden. "Chuuya!"

Chuuya peered up from a small book meant for 10 year olds. It’s red cover was bright in the shade. "Yes, Dazai-sama?"

“I told you to stop adding sama, didn’t I?” Dazai frowned. "Anyway, I heard about the weirdest thing today!" Dazai plopped onto the grass in front of the redhead and snatched the book from the other's hands. He looked it over briefly before discarding it behind him.

There was a brief glare in Chuuya's eyes as he lamented his missing book. He'd become very fond of reading. "What is it?"

"Dating!"

"What?" Chuuya blinked.

"Apparently, adolescents go on dates with each other." Dazai exclaimed. "What's a date, you ask? A date is when two people who are in love spend time with each other. It's supposed to be romantic!"

"Did you go on one of these dates?"

"No, I don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend." Dazai sighed. "Those are the people you love who you ask on dates. Once your relationship has been established, you're officially boyfriend and girlfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend, or whatever. Basically, lovers." Dazai sighed a second time, his posture slouching. "I'm about the only one who doesn't have one though..."

"Well, it's not too terrible not to have one, I don't think. Mori-sama doesn't have one."

"Mori is creepy and weird. Of course, he doesn't have one. Anyway, I want one." Dazai puffed his cheeks and pulled at his tie which suddenly felt too tight around his neck. "So uh... Chuuya, will you... go on a date with me?"

"Of course, Dazai-sa--Dazai." Chuuya's face was a light pink. “S-Sure.”

Dazai almost wanted to interrogate Chuuya for a better answer. For all he knew, Chuuya was just saying yes because it was his servant duty. He knew Chuuya was serious about obeying his masters. Dazai really didn't want now to be one of those times, but he also was afraid to ask. What if it really was? That would be almost as painful as rejection. No, that would be rejection. Dazai wanted Chuuya to want to date him. He didn't want Chuuya's yes to be from obligation.

"So ...Dazai, what do you do on dates?"

"Well, I think you eat together..." From all Dazai had heard about this dates, almost every person mentioned going to eat.

"Is that it?"

"Uh... I think you do something else too like watch a movie or something."

"I've never seen a movie before. Are we really going to watch one together?"

"Sure, if you'd like!"

"Wow!" Chuuya's eyes lit up. He looked to be on the verge of jumping up, only he had nowhere to go at the moment. "I can't believe you asked me of all people..."

"Uh... yeah..." Dazai hoped Chuuya wouldn't ask the question he predicted was next.

Of course, he did. "Does that mean...?" Chuuya was as red as a rose. He didn't need to say anymore. Both knew what he was hinting at.

Dazai's face was probably equally as red. "Well... everyone else already had a partner... you know?" He noticed the subtlest frown on Chuuya's face. "and... well...uh...  you know."

The frown disappeared and was replaced with a large grin, probably the largest Dazai had ever seen on Chuuya's face. "I'm so excited! I can't wait!" Then, the excitement disappeared. "When is our date?"

"Uh... how about next Friday? So a week from now." That should give them enough time to prepare.

"Oh, okay. Good. I just realized I wasn't ready to date right now." Chuuya sighed.

"You aren't ready to date? Then, why did you say yes?" Dazai snapped. The way Chuuya quickly discarded his own opinions to do whatever was asked of him annoyed Dazai. He liked when Chuuya thought for and about himself. "Wait... or did you mean for this date in particular?"

"I'm not sure I understand. I just meant that I wasn't ready for a date now."

"Geez, Chuuya!" Dazai groaned. "Why didn't you just say that? You made me worried, you know?"

"Sorry..." Chuuya bowed his head.

Dazai lifted Chuuya's head back into its upright position. "No need to apologize!"

"Are you sure, Dazai?"

"I am!"

"Alright. I take back my apologies then."

…

That Friday, Dazai practically skipped into the mansion and all the way to his bedroom, garnering strange looks from several of the servants. He dug through his closet for some casual clothes. He threw an outfit on and stood in front of the mirror. He liked the way the khaki pants looked on his legs. They went well with his white shirt too, but he wasn't sure about the tie. Did red fit? What if he tried blue instead? He picked a blue one from the door and quickly put it on. He noted how it was a similar color to Chuuya's brunnera eyes. That was good enough in his opinion. He didn't want to be late to the date because of a tie anyway.

Dazai carefully stepped out the window, trying not to dirty or wrinkle his pants and froze when he finally focused on the garden. There was a small, round, white table set up under the shade with a chair at each end. A variety of platters were waiting atop the table. Chuuya stood by the furthest chair. Dazai walked over, dazed. "Chuuya, did you do all this?" He pulled out his chair and sat down.

Chuuya sat down after. "Hopefully, it's good. I don't cook that often."

"The food too?" Finally seated, Dazai took in the still steaming platters waiting to be eaten. In the center of the table, there was a plate of hamburg steaks perfectly rounded into little balls and another plate of tonkatsu. Closer to Chuuya, there was a platter of hiyayakko, and on Dazai's end, there was a bowl of cream puffs. "You made all of this?"

"Yeah. Do you not like it?" Chuuya was about to stand up. "I can make something different if you want."

"No, no!" Dazai gestured for Chuuya to remain seated. "I haven't even tried it yet. Besides, it smells and looks really good! I bet it's great!"

"Oh. Okay." Chuuya readjusted more comfortably into his chair.

"Let's dig in!" Dazai eagerly reached for the steaks while Chuuya hesitantly served himself some of the hiyayakko. "Chuuya, are you a vegetarian?"

"N-No, I just didn't want our hands to collide or anything..." Chuuya laughed awkwardly. When Dazai was done grabbing the meat he wanted, Chuuya took some for himself.

"Mm... really good!" Dazai exclaimed with his mouth full. He quickly swallowed it down. "I said it's really good!" The steaks were savory. The tonkatsu was crisp, and the hiyayakko tasted fresh. Dazai could barely wait to try the cream puffs. The only thing that stopped him was the overwhelming taste of the main meal. He wanted to try the cream puffs, but he also didn't want to stop eating the main dishes.

"Dazai, if you keep eating like that, you'll get a stomachache..." Chuuya muttered.

"You're right! And I still have to eat the cream puffs!" Dazai snatched a cream puff. "Okay! Time to switch!" He chomped down eagerly, shoving the entire thing in his mouth. Sweet custard spilled into his mouth when he bit into the pastry ball. It was amazing. He shoveled five more down. "Chuuya, this is delicious! All of it!" He looked his empty plate. "I probably shouldn't eat anymore though. When you're ready for the movie, let me know!"

"I'm ready now." Chuuya put his fork down and wiped his rather clean face with a napkin which was more than Dazai had done. "Actually, I need to clean up first."

"That's alright. I'll set up the movie while you clean up!" Dazai frowned at his own words. He shouldn't have been making his boyfriend clean on their date. In a desperate attempt at justifying it, he reasoned it was okay because he, himself, was also doing work for the date by setting up the movie, and... Dazai smirked. "Oh yeah. I have a treat I think you might enjoy."

When Chuuya was done cleaning up, Dazai snuck into the kitchen to prepare his treat. He returned minutes later. "Chuuya, look!" He held a bowl in the air. "Popcorn!"

"I don't know what that is..." Chuuya frowned.

"Well, I'm sure you'll love it!" Dazai placed the bowl on the bed between them and readjusted the pillow behind him.

"Um... Dazai?" Chuuya grimaced into the bowl. "It looks... black."

"This is my first time making it, so it looks funny..." Dazai crossed his arms over his chest defensively. He ignored the unpleasant smell it emitted.

"I think it's burnt..."

"How would you know? You've never had popcorn before!" Dazai huffed and shovelled a handful into his mouth. "Just try it!" The popcorn tasted dry in his mouth. Definitely burnt.

Chuuya cautiously put one into his mouth. He forced it down in seconds and quickly willed the wrinkled frown from his face. Dazai didn't even bother asking for Chuuya's opinion. Instead, he kept up his charade of enjoying the charred popcorn and continued to munch on it painstakingly throughout the film. To his surprise, Chuuya also continued to nibble on the popcorn. Dazai wouldn't be fooled though. He knew it was disgusting, and he knew Chuuya felt the same way.

When he wasn't eating his failed snack, Dazai watched Chuuya's face. The light of the TV seemed to augment the twinkle in Chuuya's eyes as he sat, mouth agape, watching the movie. Dazai wondered whether Chuuya was actually focused on the movie or merely the various settings in the film. Every time the film changed location, Chuuya's jaw seemed to drop the slightest bit more.

Eventually, the movie ended, and Chuuya's jaw returned to it's original closed position.

"What did you think?" Dazai asked.

"..." Chuuya was still staring at the screen, and Dazai wouldn't be surprised if his jaw just suddenly dropped to the floor. "...That was... amazing..." Suddenly, he turned to face Dazai and bounded closer. "It was amazing! I loved it!"

Dazai laughed. "Were you even paying attention to what happened?"

"Yeah!" Chuuya rapidly listed off the entire storyline, including the most random of details.

"Wow," Dazai laughed more, "You really must of enjoyed it!"

Chuuya nodded animatedly. "Yeah!"

Suddenly paranoid, Dazai checked his watch. 6:13pm. "You should probably go now, Chuuya."

"Yeah..." Chuuya's posture slumped with a sigh.

"Thank you for going on a date with me, Chuuya." Dazai smiled. "I really enjoyed it."

"I enjoyed it too. Thank you for the date." Chuuya bowed at the doorway. He reached for the knob before looking back. "Uh, Dazai... does this make us boyfriends now?"

"Yep!" The smile on Dazai's faced grew. He and Chuuya were dating, a thought he'd never imagine a year ago.

[michaelbennettcrypto]

Meet Blockchain Report, The Crypto Show For Millennials

Due to the relative complexity of blockchain technologies and crypto assets, nearly every single person in this industry today likely had trouble understanding this technology when they first stepped foot in the cryptosphere. Although this issue is rapidly changing, some optimists believe that easy-to-digest, accessible crypto education resources can’t come fast enough.

Digital Multimedia Legend And Crypto Startup Tackle Education Scene

Crypto is inherently digital, as an internet-connected device is a must when interacting with this nascent ecosystem. As you are likely aware of, the millennials of today, are, like cryptocurrencies, digital beings, who are open to utilizing technology to better themselves and the world around them. Obviously, there is a lot of overlap between the aforementioned generation and crypto assets, resulting in mass adoption rates with millennials in comparison with ‘generation X’ and ‘baby boomers.’

But again, there is still a glaring issue with education, as even millennials, with all their technological prowess, may fail to fully comprehend how crypto works and why it should (and has) gained traction. And even the sites that offer such education today haven’t helped much, as there are some resources that are hard to access, while others are boring to read and sort through.

Meet the Blockchain Report, a newfangled, online show that intends to revolutionize how users, specifically millennials, digest information pertaining to this industry. As revealed by Forbes, the new show, which will be filmed in Santa Monica, California, is a collaborative effort between crypto information provider ICO Watchdog and What’s Trending, a world-renowned, Emmy-nominated digital multimedia startup that has garnered over three million active followers from across the globe.

The Blockchain Report will provide an informative look into cryptocurrencies, as aforementioned, through a five-minute segment that will air near-daily, save for weekends. As alluded to earlier, this isn’t any old foray into the cryptosphere, as What’s Trending founder Shira Lazar and Shawn Newsum, the CEO of ICO Watchdog, will evidently be able to meld their skills of media creation and crypto respectively to produce an attractive, well-rounded show to appeal to their audience’s needs.

The first episode will be hosted by social media influencer Taylor Nikolai, who is a famous Snapchat star that will hopefully tap into his social media prowess to connect with the viewers of Blockchain Report. Speaking on his aspirations for this project, which is evidently unique in its own right, the CEO of the cryptocurrency startup backing this project explained:

“As the blockchain and crypto space become more mainstream, we plan to bring viewers a quick look at the latest developments and important news each day so that millennials can become better informed about a space that is unnecessarily complex and fraught with misinformation.”

Kelly Curtis, a former Apple executive and banker at Merrill Lynch, alluded that the millennial appeal of the show is likely to garner traction. The former institutional investor stated:

“Millennials will be most affected by this type of currency during their times. Cryptocurrency and the underlying blockchain technology on which it operates, will go through a maturing phase that millennials will be most responsible for shaping so they will continue to be interested in information and trends that pertain to this space.”

Coinbase, crypto’s golden child, has also recently made a move to tackle education, introducing Coinbase Learn, a series of informative, well-designed web pages that highlight the technology behind certain crypto assets. Along with the pages highlighting specific cryptocurrencies, Coinbase has also done its best to produce content that aims to answer frequently asked questions from the common consumer, which include “what is Bitcoin” and “how can crypto make the world a better place.”

While there are still some hurdles for this space to bound over, namely volatility as pointed out by Curtis and a lack of informational resources, the younguns of this world still seem prepared to allocate time and capital to crypto assets. As reported by NewsBTC at a previous date, a survey conducted by eToro revealed that the younger the investor, the more into crypto they are. So despite their youth and relative naivety, this generation shouldn’t be counted out in the race for crypto mass adoption, which is a matter of when, not if.

Featured Image from Shutterstock

The post Meet Blockchain Report, The Crypto Show For Millennials appeared first on NewsBTC.

from Cryptocracken WP https://ift.tt/2zJi1fi via IFTTT

[joshuajacksonlyblog]

Meet Blockchain Report, The Crypto Show For Millennials

Due to the relative complexity of blockchain technologies and crypto assets, nearly every single person in this industry today likely had trouble understanding this technology when they first stepped foot in the cryptosphere. Although this issue is rapidly changing, some optimists believe that easy-to-digest, accessible crypto education resources can’t come fast enough.

Digital Multimedia Legend And Crypto Startup Tackle Education Scene

Crypto is inherently digital, as an internet-connected device is a must when interacting with this nascent ecosystem. As you are likely aware of, the millennials of today, are, like cryptocurrencies, digital beings, who are open to utilizing technology to better themselves and the world around them. Obviously, there is a lot of overlap between the aforementioned generation and crypto assets, resulting in mass adoption rates with millennials in comparison with ‘generation X’ and ‘baby boomers.’

But again, there is still a glaring issue with education, as even millennials, with all their technological prowess, may fail to fully comprehend how crypto works and why it should (and has) gained traction. And even the sites that offer such education today haven’t helped much, as there are some resources that are hard to access, while others are boring to read and sort through.

Meet the Blockchain Report, a newfangled, online show that intends to revolutionize how users, specifically millennials, digest information pertaining to this industry. As revealed by Forbes, the new show, which will be filmed in Santa Monica, California, is a collaborative effort between crypto information provider ICO Watchdog and What’s Trending, a world-renowned, Emmy-nominated digital multimedia startup that has garnered over three million active followers from across the globe.

The Blockchain Report will provide an informative look into cryptocurrencies, as aforementioned, through a five-minute segment that will air near-daily, save for weekends. As alluded to earlier, this isn’t any old foray into the cryptosphere, as What’s Trending founder Shira Lazar and Shawn Newsum, the CEO of ICO Watchdog, will evidently be able to meld their skills of media creation and crypto respectively to produce an attractive, well-rounded show to appeal to their audience’s needs.

The first episode will be hosted by social media influencer Taylor Nikolai, who is a famous Snapchat star that will hopefully tap into his social media prowess to connect with the viewers of Blockchain Report. Speaking on his aspirations for this project, which is evidently unique in its own right, the CEO of the cryptocurrency startup backing this project explained:

“As the blockchain and crypto space become more mainstream, we plan to bring viewers a quick look at the latest developments and important news each day so that millennials can become better informed about a space that is unnecessarily complex and fraught with misinformation.”

Kelly Curtis, a former Apple executive and banker at Merrill Lynch, alluded that the millennial appeal of the show is likely to garner traction. The former institutional investor stated:

“Millennials will be most affected by this type of currency during their times. Cryptocurrency and the underlying blockchain technology on which it operates, will go through a maturing phase that millennials will be most responsible for shaping so they will continue to be interested in information and trends that pertain to this space.”

Coinbase, crypto’s golden child, has also recently made a move to tackle education, introducing Coinbase Learn, a series of informative, well-designed web pages that highlight the technology behind certain crypto assets. Along with the pages highlighting specific cryptocurrencies, Coinbase has also done its best to produce content that aims to answer frequently asked questions from the common consumer, which include “what is Bitcoin” and “how can crypto make the world a better place.”

While there are still some hurdles for this space to bound over, namely volatility as pointed out by Curtis and a lack of informational resources, the younguns of this world still seem prepared to allocate time and capital to crypto assets. As reported by NewsBTC at a previous date, a survey conducted by eToro revealed that the younger the investor, the more into crypto they are. So despite their youth and relative naivety, this generation shouldn’t be counted out in the race for crypto mass adoption, which is a matter of when, not if.

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Meet Blockchain Report, The Crypto Show For Millennials

Due to the relative complexity of blockchain technologies and crypto assets, nearly every single person in this industry today likely had trouble understanding this technology when they first stepped foot in the cryptosphere. Although this issue is rapidly changing, some optimists believe that easy-to-digest, accessible crypto education resources can’t come fast enough.

Digital Multimedia Legend And Crypto Startup Tackle Education Scene

Crypto is inherently digital, as an internet-connected device is a must when interacting with this nascent ecosystem. As you are likely aware of, the millennials of today, are, like cryptocurrencies, digital beings, who are open to utilizing technology to better themselves and the world around them. Obviously, there is a lot of overlap between the aforementioned generation and crypto assets, resulting in mass adoption rates with millennials in comparison with ‘generation X’ and ‘baby boomers.’

But again, there is still a glaring issue with education, as even millennials, with all their technological prowess, may fail to fully comprehend how crypto works and why it should (and has) gained traction. And even the sites that offer such education today haven’t helped much, as there are some resources that are hard to access, while others are boring to read and sort through.

Meet the Blockchain Report, a newfangled, online show that intends to revolutionize how users, specifically millennials, digest information pertaining to this industry. As revealed by Forbes, the new show, which will be filmed in Santa Monica, California, is a collaborative effort between crypto information provider ICO Watchdog and What’s Trending, a world-renowned, Emmy-nominated digital multimedia startup that has garnered over three million active followers from across the globe.

The Blockchain Report will provide an informative look into cryptocurrencies, as aforementioned, through a five-minute segment that will air near-daily, save for weekends. As alluded to earlier, this isn’t any old foray into the cryptosphere, as What’s Trending founder Shira Lazar and Shawn Newsum, the CEO of ICO Watchdog, will evidently be able to meld their skills of media creation and crypto respectively to produce an attractive, well-rounded show to appeal to their audience’s needs.

The first episode will be hosted by social media influencer Taylor Nikolai, who is a famous Snapchat star that will hopefully tap into his social media prowess to connect with the viewers of Blockchain Report. Speaking on his aspirations for this project, which is evidently unique in its own right, the CEO of the cryptocurrency startup backing this project explained:

“As the blockchain and crypto space become more mainstream, we plan to bring viewers a quick look at the latest developments and important news each day so that millennials can become better informed about a space that is unnecessarily complex and fraught with misinformation.”

Kelly Curtis, a former Apple executive and banker at Merrill Lynch, alluded that the millennial appeal of the show is likely to garner traction. The former institutional investor stated:

“Millennials will be most affected by this type of currency during their times. Cryptocurrency and the underlying blockchain technology on which it operates, will go through a maturing phase that millennials will be most responsible for shaping so they will continue to be interested in information and trends that pertain to this space.”

Coinbase, crypto’s golden child, has also recently made a move to tackle education, introducing Coinbase Learn, a series of informative, well-designed web pages that highlight the technology behind certain crypto assets. Along with the pages highlighting specific cryptocurrencies, Coinbase has also done its best to produce content that aims to answer frequently asked questions from the common consumer, which include “what is Bitcoin” and “how can crypto make the world a better place.”

While there are still some hurdles for this space to bound over, namely volatility as pointed out by Curtis and a lack of informational resources, the younguns of this world still seem prepared to allocate time and capital to crypto assets. As reported by NewsBTC at a previous date, a survey conducted by eToro revealed that the younger the investor, the more into crypto they are. So despite their youth and relative naivety, this generation shouldn’t be counted out in the race for crypto mass adoption, which is a matter of when, not if.

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