#hopefully this gets better for creators

[kithtaehyung]

[ 3tan11 ] alrighty, my loves. i've been on writing lockdown and took a break to finally type this up. few things to note before drop:

this will either drop tomorrow night as scheduled, or sunday, december 3rd to give me a little more time. too many recent unexpected things happened for me to be completely sure about the 27th drop and it hurts to think about pushing it back, but if i need to, i will.

estimated wc will be 25-30k, so this chapter will be split into two parts - two separate posts - on the same night. i know it will be super easy to just move onto the next part, but please consider interacting with both parts equally even if you do it after reading! any likes, comments, and shares would be loved and appreciated :D

just gonna say this now, but if this gets reported by anyone and slapped with a community label, i'm deleting the posts and will completely reupload. if you are curious as to why, this ask by the wonderful kiki @chryblossomjjk herself sums up why labels are harmful to creators.

if you're a person that reblogs with comments, have those notes saved somewhere in case this happens! if you don't wanna see this on your blog, just filter *ryenfictalk, 3tan11, or three tangerines so that it doesn't show on your feed.

🍊the discord server has been amazing! if you are a reader of the series and wanna join this super fun community, go ahead and apply hehehe. it's been one hell of a time already🍊

that's it for now! love you all and i am gonna work super super hard on this bc i know how long the wait has been, and i truly do wanna put my best effort forward for y'all. if that means pushing it back, so be it! i’ll be sure to let you know once i know for sure❤️‍🩹

[ysther]

vat7k fandom will you accept me

[compaculaaa]

How the Prime siblings got their names (from Uncle Kup!!!)

[inklore]

ily writers ily gifers ily artists ily creators tumblr would suck and be downright bleak without you guys!!!

[slayerdurge]

(so... uh... how far into dai do you have to get before it starts being good?)

[wellhalesbells]

ehhhhhh

I have rarely felt so bad about watching/enjoying a show as I do about watching/enjoying Hawaii Five-O???

I'm trying to tell myself it's okay because the fact that I have all these issues with it clearly means that I'm engaging critically with the media I've been presented but.... well, most of the time I would drop shit that sucked this hard. Also.............. I'm pretty sure it's going to cause me to develop an eye twitch.

The racism is nooooon-stop (especially towards Arabs, like, if my brother-in-law caught me watching this, I would be both embarrassed and ashamed... there are three times - so far - that we get to see Muslim/Arab men not be the villains and each time is so wrapped up in white savior narratives that it's entirely moot), the sexism (Danny listing how great his team is and then just goes: and Kono's a fox I had a crush on, that's not a personality trait, that's not even an action she performed, that is literally just what she looks like which SHOULD BE the least important thing about any human you know??? let alone someone you've worked with for seven years. She is also made to consistently be around men who are disgusting and creepy with her - could be anyone's job, somehow is Kono's - and then the show eventually tries to redeem these men by giving them more complex backstories than Kono gets to have... if not for her mother/surfing, her only backstory is her relationship [*coughs*what Max praises her for when he leaves.... also not a personality trait*coughs*], NO BUT THE SEXISM (there's a group of girls locked in the cargo area of a truck and Steve is fighting their (1) captor and he knocks his gun away, has him completely distracted, and you don't think any of those girls might.... help? Join in? Want to shoot this fucking dude with the gun that has been dropped practically at their feet? Nope, nuh uh, they're just there to watch Steve be heroic, to be audience to his epic masculinity. EW. JUST EW.), these specific examples are all from season seven too so what should be improving is literally nose-diving into even deeper depths of misogyny. There's also classism in nearly every episode in some fashion and fatphobia almost every time Jerry or Kamekona or Flippa make an appearance. Plus, y'know, the police brutality that the show is built on.

I'm also pretty sure Peter Lenkov (based on the articles that have come out about his on set abuse, particularly in regards to Lucas Till) really has a chip on his shoulder about Scott Caan/Danny (who is short, blond, has attractive qualities that rely more on bone structure than ruggedness) and regularly tries to back him into traits he considers more 'feminine': wanting to stay out of danger/wait for back-up/you know... use brain rather than brawn, makes him more fashionable (including that scene about the lingerie that definitely could be read more than one way), making him be 'the nag,' etc. I just REALLY HOPE it bothered the fuck out of him that Scott Caan has more of the traditionally masculine qualities than his rock hard ode to masculinity that is Steve McGarrett/Alex O'Loughlin.

[syninplays]

Been waiting for the silly new ts4 pack to come out the whole week but now that it's out I can't play the game because I'm not at home *cries*

[sodaspringz]

sometimes i really want to forget that dsmp existed

[fadeawaywithyou]

finding an 11 hour youtube video absolutely DUNKING on one show I've never watched and being curious enough to click it but instead of genuine criticism the person can't get past his "humor" which is just saying words he shouldn't say, insulting the crew for their appearance and demographic instead of any genuine criticism, and i ultimately couldn't make it 20 minutes before clicking off.

i then got suggested a few other videos and decided to give those a try since- oh boy- there are a LOT out there. and i was right in thinking that not everyone is an asshole like the other guy, and i ended up making a day out of watching these videos, specifically this one specific guy whose entire channel started 2 years ago to meme on and critique the show. i don't think i care enough right now to watch it, but maybe. i just like media videos and had fun with this.

and also you feel like you missed something HUGE 2 years ago because this is Right Up Your Alley and somehow this is the first time you're seeing this.

[ohcorny]

How I Made the Colors in Hunger's Bite So Good

first of all: buy my book. buy it and look at the colors. (if you cannot buy the book, ask for it at your local library or i GUESS you can look at these spreads i posted)

we're gonna talk about colors, but more specifically we're going to talk about overlays. if you're an artist you are probably familiar with overlays. we love our overlays. we love to color a picture and then at the very last minute go 'hm. looks bad. i'm going to put a yellowish overlay on it to make it look less bad :)'

do not do this.

i mean you can, and it'll work sometimes, but all you're really doing is tricking your brain into thinking different is better. you've been staring at the image for potentially several hours. none of the choices you made at the beginning mean anything to you anymore. you're just finishing what you started. one of the big reasons you might look at your art and go 'man, this doesn't look that good' is because You drew it and are intimately familiar with it. you know all the flaws and mistakes because You made them and You know what your vision was. one of the great frustrations with art is that the piece in your head doesn't look like something you actually made. you want it to look like somebody else did it, so you can enjoy it as a viewer, not as the creator.

so when you put that overlay on, and suddenly the image looks very different, your brain will go 'this doesn't look like the thing i've been staring at for 2-3 hours! this is different! now it's good!'

and again, sometimes it Is good. but do you actually understand why it's good? or is it just different?

okay so what am i supposed to do smart guy

i'm glad you asked. the trick to making overlays work is to have them on from the start. this requires knowing what mood you want to convey in your scene from the very beginning. hopefully you know what mood you want to convey. you do, right? and i don't just mean happy or sad, i also mean safe, threatened, familiar, strange, soft and harsh. blue is not always sad. green is not always healthy. yellow/orange are not the only way to convey a companionable warmth.

okay did you pick the mood? do you have an idea of what color you want to use to represent that mood? great. i'm gonna use blue to convey the cool, clean white of a ship's maintenance corridor without making things literally white. and i'm going to stick in two characters whose color palettes consist of bright yellow, brown, and wine red. awesome. i definitely know how those colors would behave under blue lighting.

(here's the thing: no i don't.) this is where a gradient map correction layer comes in. i want my page to be Blue. alright. let's make a gradient map that's Blue.

a gradient map is basically just A Gradient with specific colors connected to specific values. you have your darkest values on the left, and your lighter values on the right. at 100% opacity, this gradient map layer will read the value of anything below it and go 'okay this bit is this dark, so it should be This shade of blue. and this bit is this light, so it should be This shade of blue'.

kind of like a hue or color layer except determined by a gradient rather than one color, so it could also go 'this is light, so it's green' and 'this is dark, so it's purple'. it's math. i don't really get it either. but anyway this is probably not what you want if you want your characters' palettes to be recognizable. emery's sweater is supposed to be a wine red! neeta's skin should be brown, and her shirt should be yellow. these are their Key Colors. generally, i want them to be recognizable. so let's lower that opacity down.

nice! you can definitely now see that emery's sweater is red and neeta's shirt is yellow. and everything is relatively balanced. nothing is too saturated, nothing is significantly brighter than anything else. it's all got a little bit of blue in it. but i've skipped the step of actually picking your colors. because here's the thing with gradient maps.

they hate you and want to fight. when working with gradient maps you must imagine there is a monkey sitting on your shoulder dumping paint in every time you pick a color. the monkey has a tube of blue and he is going to put that blue into everything you paint, but it's not normal paint. it doesn't mix, it overtakes. it won't turn something yellow into green, it will turn it blue. it wants everything to be blue. if you want something to look like the color it's supposed to be, you will have to make it extremely saturated under the layer to essentially fight the paint monkey's blue. hence, emery's sweater is a BRIGHT red, so it will look a little more purpley under the blue. and neeta's skin is very orange, so it can be dulled down into a soft brown.

this is the sort of thing you will have to learn by feel, because it will be different with every gradient map, especially if you start getting into weird ones that aren't monochromatic. you want to know one of my favorite maps to use?

i have memorized where on the value scale all of these colors appear. i can color something using only shades of gray when i have this filter on. i am evolved. if you want to use gradient maps effectively, you'll have to get a lot of practice.

anyway this post got really long and i'm about to go to a movie so i'll talk about how to use screen/multiply/overlay layers later. but gradient maps are the main tool i used to make hunger's bite's palettes so unified across scenes. but you can see way above how they work to turn insane saturated colors into the nice harmonies--and the trick is that i'll never see those saturated colors while i'm working. because i have accepted the paint pouring monkey into my heart, and i trust him. except when i'm coloring wick's coat. holy mother of god every gradient map hated that man's purple coat.

[mortalityplays]

You need more free art.

I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.

You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.

We all need more free art.

So what am I going to do about it?

This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.

I'm going to do this:

1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.

This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.

Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.

2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.

Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.

Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.

I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.

2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY

To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.

On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.

You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.

3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS

Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).

The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.

4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE

I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.

tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!

[wasitforrevenge]

oh sweetheart

pairing: boxer! ellie williams x f reader au

word count: 1.9k

rating: 18+

warnings: boxer!ellie, drinking, smoking, cursing, creepy guy but ellie comes to ur defense!! ellie has lots of tattoos, fighting, threats, idk if im missing anything (no character description or anything specific)

summary: you didn't expect to meet her on this night out.

authors notes: hi friends! this is my first time writing and posting on here hopefully you enjoy, please reblog, like or follow! lets be mutuals :) anyways feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! ellie williams has me on my hands and knees!!! i hope you enjoy! i like the idea of making this a series if it works out and ppl like it, so pls let m know!! thank you :)

PART 1 | part 2

series masterlist <3

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.

loud. everything is loud. the smell of sweat and blood stains the air around you. the sounds of people cheering and shouting towards the center of the large room. the lights are buzzing above you as you are walking into the entrance of the shitty run down gym your brother, jesse, and his girlfriend, dina, ended up dragging you to tonight.

you didn't mind coming along with him but this wasn't what you expected to be doing tonight. after a long shitty week of unpacking your new apartment, you kinda just wanted to end up a hole in the wall bar and drink your stress away but he had other plans. which including watching grown men beat the shit of each other for their cut at the end of the night.

it was intimidating, walking through the crowds of people you didn't know until you finally make it to where his friends were waiting for you guys. they were sitting at a table with a clear shot of the fight which was surprising since the whole place seemed to have more people in it then it could fit. you make your way awkwardly to the empty seats saying a gentle "hello guys" to your brothers friends who you didn't knowl. you sat next to dina as jesse made his way to the bar with your drink orders.

after you graduated highschool, you moved to new york and spend 4 years there working in a small cafe you lived above but now at the start of the summer, still not sure what you should be doing with your life. now you're 22 and you've moved to the city of jackson to be closer to your older brother and his girlfriend. you were excited to start fresh in a place where no one knew you yet, you were ready to leave your old life and those toxic things in the past. but you wondered if it was even possible.

you spend the next hour talking with dina and catching up on the things that have happened since you moved, "have you started looking for jobs yet?" she asked as you both sipped on the second drink of the night that jesse went and brought back a bit ago. you've only met a couple times in person since they started dating about 2 years ago but you loved her, she was making this night a lot better. "not much luck yet, i don't know what to do, luckily i have some time to figure something out." you responded. she went to say something but then the loud speakers around the room started blaring music and the countdown to the match that was about to start.

jesse tapped dinas shoulder to go watch with the rest of them. dinas eyes met yours and asked, "are you coming up?" you started getting nervous as the people started getting louder and crowding towards the center ring and told her that you'll stay here and watch. they both nodded and said they'd be back when it was over.

you took this opportunity to finally go get some fresh air since the crowd isn't all over anymore and it was a straight shot to the door you came in, you walked over to the side of the building, definitely feeling the drinks you had, you let your back rest against the concrete wall, finally cooling you down on this hot summer night. there's people standing outside talking but they payed no attention to you. you stayed against the wall as you pull out the cigarette pack from the pocket of your thin dark green jacket and the lighter out of your back pocket in your jean shorts. you cursed yourself for not buying more but its a bad habit and you know it. you pulled one out and put it in your lips as you brought the lighter up and took a drag, finally letting the anxiety go as you stared off into the sky.

"excuse me miss, you shouldn't be out here alone, a beautiful girl like you," a man with a rough voice said but you didn't move to look, suddenly wishing you never left your apartment to begin with, "hello i'm talking to you, its not nice to ignore people, ya know," he slurred his words as he spoke. you turned your head as you went to tell him to leave you alone but instead, he was standing in front of you before you knew it you dropped your smoke and now he's practically cornered you.

he was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breathe as he spoke again, "now are you gonna talk to-" you leaned away from him as he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening a few feet away, he looked towards it but then turned back to you just as quick, almost touching you as he went to speak again but he was beat to it.

"get off her." you didn't even realize the door had opened until you heard her.

the man looked back towards the door to the figure in the light, he squinted and when he got a good look, he suddenly backed off and put his hands up. "hey hey i wasn't doing nothin- it was nothing!" he shouted back to whoever was next to the still open door, light shining into the alley.

the door slams and the light fades as the figure walks closer towards you and your eyes meet the deep green eyes of the person who just saved you as she turned to the man who was just cornering you against the wall.

"it doesn't look like nothing, i mean, really? you're fucking joking right?" she questioned him as she looked him right in the eyes.

"i said it was nothing- she was flirting with me and-" he was cut off as she laughed loudly. "yeah you're full of shit, get the fuck out of here and don't let me see you again or you'll regret it." she said as she stepped closer towards him, almost at the same height, he looked scared of her. "okay, okay- fuck 'm leaving!" he slurred one last time as he turned around and headed the opposite way of the run down gym.

you stood there as the interaction happened, not sure what to do or say yet, you were silent as he walked off, and those green eyes met yours again and you saw her lips moving as she was speaking but you caught nothing she said. "hey, you okay there?" she asked you as she went to stand in front of you, looking you up and down, checking if you're psychically okay while she gave you a second to process before she asked you again.

"hey sweetheart, you okay?" she asked and grabbed your arm, not in a way that the man would have but like she was actually making sure you were okay, and this time you finally heard her.

"h- yes im okay, just- fuck- yes thank you." you said finally getting a good look at her now that she's up close and touching you. her eyes were greener than you thought, her short auburn hair with some pulled back into a bun, the big moth tattoo wrapped around her right forearm that was still holding onto yours, other tattoos littered her arms and some poking out under her t-shirt she was wearing. she was so close to you and it sent butterflies through your body. now is not the time, you thought to yourself.

"are you sure- 'm sorry that happened, fuck him." she said roughly, not towards you but him.

"its okay, thank- thank you for helping me" you said gently to the girl who was still looking into your eyes. you had been so focused on hers that you didn't even see the tiny scars, small healing cuts and the bruises that were fading until you looked over her face again.

"yeah of course, are you here alone?" she asked you curiously still holding on to you, you weren't even phased by it. you told her you were here with your brother and she nodded her head towards the door, "lets get you back to him before anything else happens sweetheart" she said as she guided you to the door, hand on your back, as you swallowed and went first.

suddenly all the sounds that you had not realized you had been blocking begin again, smells of the sweaty bodies surround you again and you felt too hot, either because of her or the summer heat trapped in here. once you made it inside, she moved her hand off the small of your back and told her to go find your brother and to get home safe. when she walked away, you realized you didn't even know her name.

you saw dina, sitting along with a few of jesses friends and made your way over to her. the match must've ended while you were outside. you walked through the gym to sit back down, moving carefully to avoid touching anyone. once you made it to the table, dina wondered where you had ran off too. "oh just went out to get some fresh air," you said back to her smiling, not wanting her to worry. she told you jesse went to get more drinks and after the encounter outside, you needed it.

jesse came back a few moments later, holding a round of shots for you three. "here you ladies go," he spoke with a happy look on his face. you smiled slightly back and took the glass as dina laughed at him. you took the shot, trying to forget what happened outside with the man but not what happened with her. you wondered if you would see her again. is she here to watch? could she work at the bar? is she here with friends too? your thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the speaks that the final match was gonna start soon.

dina and jesse were telling you, "its the last one tonight and the last ones are always the best so lets go!" you would rather sit and order another drink, but what if something else happened cause you were alone? so reluctantly you got up with them and got closer to the middle ring, you heard the loud speakers announcing the boxers as they entered the ring. you weren't even paying attention, nothing could stop your mind racing with thoughts about the girl outside.

you shake yourself out of the trance when dina reaches over to you to touch your hands that were shaking but you didn't even realize, you look to her and give her smile that she returns, then she looks back to the ring and you turn your head to follow her eyes to the center. and your breathe caught.

thats her.

thats the girl who saved you outside.

the girl with her hands wrapped in tape and the mouthguard in.

the girl who wondered if she'd ever see you again either, not that you knew that, but she hoped it wasn't the last time.

you wondered what she thought as you both stared back at each other. you heard the coach start the countdown. you just watched her.

...5

...4

...3

...2

as the buzzer started, she smiled directly at you then turned to throw the first punch.

[everestgale]

Whatever you're trying to do right now, you don't have to do it alone.

------

Happy New Year's Eve, Slay the Princess community!

A long, long message and credits to the designs are under the cut.

[Please excuse any awkward sentences, weird repetitions, and grammatical mistakes, I've been awake for 20 hours or so]

I cannot describe how much joy I feel right now, finally getting this drawing done. I feel nothing but joy when I think about Slay the Princess, and I feel nothing but pure adoration when I think about and spend time in this community. This game and this community truly brought a lot of happiness to me and made this otherwise unremarkable, maybe even depressing, year that much brighter. I wish I had more and better words to describe what I'm feeling right now! Genuinely, I don't have words to describe how much gratitude I feel right now.

And so for my final piece of 2024, I wanted to make a thank you drawing to this community and hopefully express the fraction of love and gratitude I feel right now. And I decided to make that drawing a group photo of 30 different Heroes! It ended up being 29 Heroes and one Opportunist, but I promise there is a reason for that-

If I had more time and energy, I would've included even more people, there are so many skilled artists, writers, and wonderful people in general who ended up excluded, especially due to this drawing being a voice-centered piece. But I'm glad I at least get to highlight some of the wonderful creators and artists in this community! Please check them out and support their work! They are all amazing <3

If you wanted to know who is the author behind each design, I made an annotated version! Sorry if the text is too small, I tried my best to write it as large as I could T-T

------

Now onto the message to the people in the drawing:

First! I sincerely apologize if I missed some details with your Hero design, or if I used an outdated version of it. I wanted to keep this a surprise, and for some of these, I had to dive into the depths of Tumblr to find (hopefully) relevant references. And yes, if you've received a DM from me about your Hero in the past few weeks or so, this project was the reason why! And if you've received an anonymous ask about your Hero, there is a quite good chance it was from me, too <3

And second! I have a message for each and every one of you:

@acethekenku: Your designs are so well-made and awesome! Especially adore your Broken and Contrarian, there's something about them that just immediately catches my eye! Your Contrarian's fashion and DIY skills are also immaculate :]

@artificial-radiance: Your art is absolutely wonderful, whether it's Slay the Princess, Destiny 2, or sonas! I wish I had a better word to describe your art, but the best I got is "delicious" /lh

@beartitled: I adore your StP comics! I adore your drawings of male!Princesses! I adore your non-StP work! Everything you make is so charming, and it's always a joy to see your work <3

@bubblybloob: One of my favorite fanart memes, to this day, is your old "I do not control the speed at which princesses die" meme. I still go re-read it sometimes when I'm not feeling great, it always puts a smile on my face (yes, this is my kind of humor). Though, your new voice designs are SO creative and unique! Love the fluffy Para and the prophetic cage Skeptic especially, but they are all so good <3

@coldranger: Your lads! So simple and yet so well-designed and expressive! That roadrunner Hunted you shared yesterday is so adorable, I can't with him! It is always wonderful to see more of your drawings. Also thanks for gushing with me over mod Owl's designs <3

@cookiealchemieart: I recently mentioned that you are one of my first Tumblr follows, and it's for a good reason! You made a lot of wonderful illustrations, and your three fan princesses are some of my favorites of all the ones I've seen before! And your voice designs, gosh, I am hugging your Contrarian-

@dampfur: Your art is unbelievably charming! And when I saw your Burned Bridges post with redesigns for Cold and Smittten, I absolutely fell in love with them. I will use this space to gush about just how simple and yet adorable and recognizable they are!

@glitchh1337: Always love seeing what you are up to on Discord! Whether it's design concepts for voices or little pixel art animations, they are all wonderful :]

@justcherryqwq: Your animations!!! Cherry, your animations are pure gold. The way you draw voices as little guys flying around the scene/the Long Quiet is just too perfect. I am also grabbing and petting your Paranoid, gently, of course!

@occatorcreator: You have one of the most unique voice designs/representations I've ever seen! Especially in that one post where you drew voices taking over Long Quiet's body, the way you drew the "possession" is just... so unique, so cool! I wish I had better words!

@orcatnip: I cannot describe how much delight your sketches bring me whenever they show up on my dash! And the way you wrote about voices appearing as fractures in Long Quiet's soul! Oh! Genuinely obsessed!!!

@pareidolla: Your voice designs are very pretty and very adorable! As you can see, I immediately had to try drawing your current iteration of Hero because he is SO PRETTY! I couldn't help myself. Sorry if I was too hasty in my decision to include an in-progress design, but I wanted you to be included here-

@remaking-machine: Rema!!! Your voices!!! They are so precious and charming! Love your Cheated, love your Hero, love your Skeptic! You were one of the first people I found & followed on Tumblr, and it's been such a joy to see what you're up to <3 [Also, I still would like a tray of Hero cookies-]

@salty-an-disco: Your writing, at least from what I've seen of it, is awesome! I genuinely wish I had the attention span to read your Heathens AU because whenever I see you talk about it, or draw anything for it, I love it a lot! Hopefully one day I will, but for now, I am here to admire your art :]

@sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now: Hey, who let this bird-fox into this gathering of Heroes-

Jokes aside, I am absolutely obsessed with your voice designs, and I really, really wanted to include you in this drawing, despite the fact that you are still working on your Hero design. Thank you for letting me include your Opportunist in this drawing, I cannot WAIT to see your Hero design <3

@tai-janai: Your drawings are so delightful, and I love the way you draw your voices! Your voice shipping sketches are also so adorable, and your HeA-inspired ParaHero sketch sometimes decides to show up in my head and not pay any rent (I love it a lot)!

@voiceofthebroken: Remember how I mentioned that your Cheated post inspired one of my upcoming projects? Yes, it was this one. You are responsible for this /lh

Don't want to repeat myself too much from the ask I sent yesterday, but I will once again say that I love your voice designs, and I will once again compliment your Cheated and Hunted. They are precious! <3

@wysteriaisapenguin: Your art is so charming and so recognizable! Your most recent HeA drawing is absolutely stealing my heart in a way that I cannot describe!!! I also really like your Hero design, he was an absolute joy to draw <3

------

Oh look, there's more, too!

@sonjalikestodraw: Sonja! Oh Sonja, everything you make is just SO PERFECT, your pieces are always so stellar and carefully crafted, and your voice designs are so thoughtful and so iconic, I love it every time you make a post with a little write-up of your design notes! It's always such a joy to read!!

0th: To say that your designs and your writing inspired my own would be saying nothing at all, they were some of the first I've seen! They will always have a special place in my heart as "the designs" that greatly contributed to my own final designs! And your Swap AU still is one of my favorites in the whole fandom, love all the unique designs you made for it!! Noble my beloved <3

@itsonlypolite: The way your voices ingrained themselves in my brain, I cannot describe it! Your designs are truly some of the most unique, most recognizable designs in the fandom. You deserve every single positive comment and compliment on your art and designs!!! I also love how you reply to people's asks with little drawings of your own. It's so charming and welcoming <3 It's also always pure joy talking to you!

@cammie-yammie: I am very glad that I got over my anxiety and started talking more and hanging out in your thread! I love your art, always so charming, so distinctly you, just such joy to look at, and I'm glad I got to engage with it more, and with you as a person!!! Damn, these sentences are confusing lol Long story short, love your art, love talking to you, and it's just pure joy either way <3

@lavb-b: I am not kidding when I say that your Businessman animation rewired something in my brain, whenever I watch it, I cannot stop myself from laughing, even though at this point I've seen it like 20+ times already. Besides that, your art in general is just such high-quality work, and I love talking to you on the Discord server! Welcoming you with open arms to EG's Yap Central Station /lh

@phantasmatoucan (mod Owl): OWL HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS- You have no idea how obsessed I am with your art, you have SUCH a distinct, awesome style, and the way you designed your voices brings me so, so much joy. And not only are you a skilled artist with amazing voice designs, but you are also just such a positive person, too!!! How is this possible!!! What's your secret!!!

@hello-universe-lovers: Your reblog comments always make me happy, and I absolutely love chatting with you!!! The little interaction you wrote between our Cheateds brought me so much joy as I was finishing this project <3 And even besides that, your art is so charming, and also apparently you are a wizard who draws everything with your finger- I cannot understand such witchcraft /lh

@neverpathia: You are the reason I QPR-ship ParaHero! You got these birds in my brain, and I can't get them out, how dare you (/lh). Jokes aside, I really like your writing, especially the way you write voices, and your art is also very pretty, I love it a lot! It's also such a joy to have you hang out in my art thread, thanks for doing that :]

@disarraydoodlez: Jam! And Kiri! Your art is so iconic, Kiri's desire for perfection never goes unnoticed, and Jam's chaotic silly ideas are always such a highlight (I'm still waiting for you to finish that one Den idea. The one we kept laughing about for like 30 minutes. That one). Thanks for inviting me to the PotC one-shot, I had a lot of fun playing it, and I'm glad we still hang out and chat sometime! Love everything you make, regardless of the fandom, and I can't wait to see what you both will make next <3

@s3viien (they mostly exist on BSky, check them out there!): Sev! My partner in crime! One of my biggest cheerleaders, you have no idea how much how dearly I appreciate it. I love sharing all my random ideas with you, and I love hearing about all of yours! Your art, your videos, and your music are all PEAK, and I'm always happy to see what you've been up to! To our friendship for as long as it lasts <3

@inkedout: And last but certainly and absolutely not least, Ink, my friend, you are one of the big reasons why I feel as comfortable writing all of this right now as I am right now. I cannot put into words just how much I appreciate you as a friend!! it is always such a joy to talk to you, whether it's about StP, or ATR, or a different fandom, or just life in general! I love seeing all your art, your OCs, and anything else you might have <3

Also voice shipping. There are certain ships, you probably know which ones, that are now stuck in my head because of you. I blame you /lh

-----

I believe that should be all I have to say! Happy New Year's Eve again, and I will see you all in 2025!

[absurdthirst]

Undercover Love {Marcus Pike x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 12.2k

Warnings: Heartbreak, danger, undercover work, lies, derogatory language, voyeurism, sleeping with the enemy, fear, graphic violence, murder, guns, arrests, needy sex, unprotected sex, cock riding

Comments: Going undercover to escape heartbreak from Marcus Pike proposing to Teresa sounds like a good idea. Until you realize you are in deep and then one day, the man you are trying to escape walks into your undercover op.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Marcus Pike MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

When you got called into your superiors office, you never imagined you’d be asked to go undercover within a well known mafia. You glance back at the door, knowing that Marcus has gone for lunch with Teresa. His fiancé. The words make your heart clench and you are sold on your decision. You’re going undercover and you will try to forget about Marcus Pike…the man you’re in love with.

Marcus sighs as he comes back to the office. He is trying to stay optimistic, but Teresa doesn’t seem to be as eager as he had hoped she would be. Although she always plays her cards close to the vest, unless they are in bed. He taps on your door, frowning slightly when he doesn’t hear you call for him to come in. He says your name and Johnson tells him as he walks by. “She’s left.” He hums. “Got called into the boss's office. Wouldn’t say where she was going.” That’s odd, and concerning. Marcus is your partner, your friend. He pulls out his phone and dials your number.

You are deep into the brief, whisked away from the office to speak to your superiors about your mission and who you are going to meet, you have to forget about Marcus and focus on your job. It’s dangerous and you could be killed. He’s starting a new life in D.C with Teresa. You have to forget about him. When his name appears on your phone, you ignore it. It’s time for a new start.

****

“Sir, excuse me, May I talk to you for a moment?” It’s been two days since he’s seen you, heard from you and he’s starting to get worried. You’ve never not called him back. He says your name and doesn’t notice the way that the field manager’s face changes. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but she’s been out for two days and she’s not answering her phone.” He is worried, and hopes that it’s something simple. He knows your grandmother has been ill, hopefully she didn’t pass. 

“Pike….” The tone is compassionate, understanding, making him look up from his phone. “She’s undercover.” His jaw drops in shock. “What? How could she-“ The other agent is in awe of Marcus sometimes. He’s an intuitive agent, smart, dedicated and focused. But he couldn’t see what was right in front of his nose. “She had to immediately leave, it’s a deep cover. No contact. And you’re leaving for D.C. in a week.” He pats his shoulder. “It’s better this way.” That makes him frown, but he nods. “Sure, um, thanks for letting me know.” He bites his lip as he turns away, feeling more upset than he probably should about not getting to see you one more time before he leaves. He has loved working with you.

****

You’re not sure how long you’ve been undercover. You don’t even remember the last time you heard your real name. You stare out the window to the city when his arms wrap around you. “Hey baby. You been a good girl?” He asks as his lips press against your neck and you suppress your shiver. “Try to be for you.” His chuckle puffs against your skin. “Want you to meet one of the new guys. Gonna be running a few routes. He squeezes your hip and you turn around, fully expecting to see a rough and ready gangster but you barely suppress your gasp as your eyes meet Marcus’s.

Marcus nearly blows his cover when he sees you. It’s not a look alike, it’s you. He knows that face. He knows the curve of your lips and how your eyes change color slightly when you are wearing different colors. You’re here. Obviously undercover and he quickly makes sure that the man he’s gone undercover to bust, seemingly your boyfriend, doesn’t notice that he’s bothered by your presence. “How’s it going?” He asks casually, jerking his head up in a greeting.

You fight hard to not react to seeing Marcus here of all places. The man you tried to escape from by going undercover is here and he looks just as shocked to see you even though he’s trying to conceal it. You see it in his eyes. “Hi.” You offer him a small smile and Tony pulls you into his side, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “He is here to help with the new route. Got a shipment coming in next week.” He says and you hum, caressing his chest. “I’d better go check in with Sally.” You say and he nods, leaning in to kiss you. You cringe internally and he smacks your ass as you walk away from him. You use all your effort to not turn back to look at Marcus and you try to focus on the op.

“Prime piece of ass.” Tony chuckles, turning and watching you walk away. Marcus wants to grimace at the way he manhandles you, but he’s more shocked by how easily he touches you. How are you sleeping with this douchebag? “Your girl.” He grunts, shrugging a shoulder as if it doesn’t matter to him. “I don’t touch someone else’s girl.”

Tony smirks, walking over to smack Marcus on the shoulder. “That’s what I like to hear.” He appraises Marcus as a loyal soldier who will work his way up the ladder fast. “She’s a freak in bed. Can’t keep her hands off me. She lets me do whatever the fuck I want.” He boasts, crossing his arms.

He wants to throw up, or throw a punch. His stomach flips as he thinks about what he has imagined, before Teresa and after, when he realized that he has pushed you away in favor of someone who obviously never loved him. It seems vulgar when it’s voiced out loud, because he knows that Tony doesn’t respect you to talk about you like that. “Those are the best kind of women.” He chuckles. “Does she have a sister?”

Tony chuckles, “I fucking wish. I’d have them both at the same time. Imagine that? Both sucking your cock? Goddamn.” He shakes his head at the thought. “I can tell you’re gonna be a good addition to the team.” He decides as he lowers his arms, “just stay away from my shit.”

“Not a problem.” He nods, mind racing because no one let him know you were here undercover. Why? Were you in too deep, had you flipped? He didn’t think so, because you hadn’t ratted him out to Tony. “I’m gonna go make some calls.” He tells the boss. “Make sure our shipment is on time.”

You slump down onto the bed as you process the fact that Marcus is here. He’s undercover and you haven’t seen him for months. You rub your eyes, feeling yourself tear up as you realize you’ve tried to escape the man only to realize that he’s probably still with Teresa. He’s probably still in love with her. You tried to escape him and you can’t. He’s here.

Once Marcus gets away from Tony, he immediately heads back to the apartment he had set up for this operation. Needing to talk to someone about this development and get some clarification on exactly that the fuck going on. Reeling from the fact that you are here undercover and he’s even farther away from you than he has ever been.

Your supervisor sees the contact from Marcus and snorts, “that was fast.” He picks up the phone and sighs, “Samson speaking. What’s up Pike?” He asks, knowing they are on a secure line right now. Marcus isn’t in too deep yet. Not like you.

“You gotta tell me what the fuck is going on.” He paces the small apartment as he talks, almost wishing that he smoked or something. His nerves are jittery and he feels guilty for some reason. He says your name. “Is- am I supposed to be her contact? Why did you send me in if she’s already here?”

Samson knew he’d be getting this call and he sighs, rubbing his cheek, “she’s in deep. We haven’t been able to get in touch with her without them getting suspicious and we wanted to know if she was okay. She needs someone else to help her close this down and get out alive. We didn’t brief you on her being there because we knew you would refuse the op. You need to work together to get this shut down. We can’t afford to put more resources into this.”

Marcus frowns, wondering why they would believe he would turn down the op. He loved working with you and was more than a little hurt that you left without saying goodbye. “Get her out alive.” He agrees, hoping that it’s just as easy as it sounds. “When was the last time she reported in?”

“Two weeks ago. She was supposed to report every few days. We wanted to know she hadn’t gotten in trouble…or worse…fallen in love with that asshole Tony. She knew what she’d have to do to get in with him but we hoped she didn’t fall for his bullshit. Do you think she’s gotten too deep?” He asks Marcus, knowing the last time he spoke to you you’d told your superior about how much you hated Tony but you are working hard to take them down from the inside.

“I don’t think so.” Marcus would never voice that kind of thing to your handler, knowing how detrimental it could be to your career. “She didn’t give me up and she was just as shocked as I was.” He sighs softly. “She’s doing what she has to do in order to get these assholes.”

“Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.” Samson nods, knowing you are a dedicated agent. “Keep an eye on her and when you get a chance, talk to her and tell her to get in touch.” He orders and Marcus says “yes sir.” 

**** 

You are reeling from Marcus’s appearance and you pray you don’t see him often as you try to gather enough evidence against the Romano mafia to take them down without getting yourself killed. Fucking Tony was an inevitable but you loathe it. You would never admit it but you imagine Marcus when he’s inside you, closing your eyes and trying to imagine the man you love is fucking you. Tony expects you in his club later so you start to get ready, knowing he won’t allow you to leave the apartment without looking “like a fucking million dollar prostitute.” His words not yours. You’ll be expected to sit on his lap at the club but that’s good, you can observe at the club, find out the comings and goings of the shipments without seeming obvious.

“Hey boss.” Marcus answers the phone easily when Tony’s name flashes up. “Get ready.” Tony demands. “We are going out to the club tonight. Be a good time for you to meet the rest of the guys.” He chuckles. “And for me to see how you hold your liquor.” Marcus chuckles, although he’s not looking forward to drinking with this scumbag. He will have to make sure that it appears like he’s getting drunk, without imbibing too much. “Sounds good.” He agrees, listening to Tony rattle off the location of the club like Marcus doesn’t know it. He has a full file on all of Tony’s hangouts and it’s still annoying that they didn’t include information on you in that packet. “Be there at nine.” His boss demands before he hangs up without saying goodbye. Marcus sighs and wonders if you will be there tonight.

The club is busy when you and Tony arrive. Nearly stumbling on your heels when he drags you along to the VIP section. Some of his men are already there and you sigh in relief when you don’t see Marcus there. Tony sits down on the sofa, grabbing your waist to drag you into his lap and you giggle despite your skin crawling, his hand finding your bare thigh as your dress rises up. Tony orders your drink and you lean back against him just as you see Marcus speaking to the bodyguard who oversees the VIP section. He looks good in his jeans and leather jacket, his stubbled cheeks making him look rougher than the sweet and mild man you worked with.

Marcus wants to look at you. Your dress is nearly up to your waist, showing off legs for miles and you look sexy. But he can’t seem too interested, especially with Tony’s warning. Instead he glances around the club, clocking guards and security positioned around the VIP area. The mob boss keeps himself protected, so you being so close is actually a good thing. He hates it when he sees the bastard’s hand move up between your thighs and he hopes that giggle is just an Oscar worthy performance. “Busy night in here.” He comments, reaching out to shake Tony’s hand so he has to let you go.

Tony shakes his hand and you wrap your arm around the mob boss’s neck, making it look like you’re leaning in towards him. “Glad you could join us, Frankie.” He uses the name Marcus was given to go undercover. “Get yourself a drink. We got some top notch whiskey over there.” He gestures to the bar where a nearly naked woman is making the drinks for the men who work for Tony. Marcus nods, “thanks. I’ll definitely get a drink.” Tony smiles, his hand squeezing your thigh and he leans in to kiss your neck, making you giggle. You’re not sure how much time passes but soon Tony is talking to one of his men about a delivery happening in the early hours. From Russia. It makes your ears prick up but you pretend to play with Tony’s buttons, making him playfully squeeze your ass. “Baby, I gotta go powder my nose.” You announce and Tony snorts, “sure thing doll. Why don’t you have the new guy escort you?” He suggests and he snaps his fingers at Marcus who comes over, “yes boss?” He asks and Tony helps you stand, his hand smacking your ass. “My lady needs the bathroom. Escort her and make sure none of those assholes out there touch her. If I hear of anyone - anyone-” His eyes narrow at Marcus, “touching my girl, I’ll fucking kill them…and you. Understood?” He asks and Marcus nods, keeping his hands to himself and letting you guide the way to the bathrooms. The club is busy and you are glad to have this moment with Marcus to explain which is why you drag him into the women’s bathroom and lock the door. There’s no cameras in this area…Tony likes to do his exchanges here so no cameras means no evidence. “What the fuck are you doing here?” You ask Marcus when the door is locked.

“I was sent in to help you.” Marcus immediately cups your cheeks, as if touching you will help. He needs to make sure you are alright. “You didn’t- you just disappeared on me.” He huffs, knowing that he doesn’t have much time. “When you stopped checking in, they needed to make sure you weren’t in too deep. They called me in from Washington.”

You bat his hands away from your cheeks, confused by the touch and the concern in his eyes. “Why - I couldn’t check in. Tony basically has me with him all hours of the day or I’m guarded. It’s been impossible to make contact. Fuck, why did they send you? It’s dangerous, Marcus. They are dangerous. They are going to make you do things you don’t want to do.” You warn him, reaching for his hands, “why did Teresa let you do this?”

He’s not upset that you push him away, now when you take his hands almost immediately and he can feel how upset you are by the idea that he’s in danger. He smiles ruefully. “That’s not an issue.” He promises and you frown. “Why?” He didn’t really want to get into it, but he owes you an explanation. “She never came to D.C.” he tells you. “She stayed with Jane.”

Your eyes widen, “she - she left you for Jane?” You scoff, “is she fucking crazy?” You ask and Marcus just shrugs one shoulder. You can see he’s hurt and you squeeze his hands. “Fuck her. She’s an idiot. What are you doing here? It’s not safe. I- I am trying to get what we need but it’s taken time.”

“To help get you out in one piece.” Marcus doesn’t tell you that they’ve not told him about you until now, but that didn’t matter. “I can check in. I’ll have more freedom to pass intel.” He knows the two of you have been in here too long and it will be suspicious if you don’t go back out. “Powder your nose.” He tells you before he unlocks the door and slips outside.

You sigh, turning back to the mirror to reapply your lip gloss and you check your appearance, giving Marcus some time to return back to the VIP area before you make your way back to Tony. Your boyfriend smirks and reaches for you, “got your drink ready baby.” He gestures to the cocktail and you settle back on his lap, leaning in to softly kiss you.

Marcus looks away, feigning disinterest but his stomach churns as he looks out over the club. People are dancing and there’s plenty of beautiful people around, but he doesn’t care about that. You are too good for that scumbag to touch and it makes him sick that you’ve had to act like you like it. “Thank you, baby.” You coo, making Marcus realize he’s never heard that sweet, affectionate tone before. He’s never seen you with a boyfriend. “You are too good to me.”

Tony smacks your thigh playfully and you pray you can’t get him drunk enough that he passes out. You’ve fed him booze before so he falls asleep and you sleep naked, waking him up so he thinks you had sex. He’s fallen for it many times but sometimes he wants to go again so you’ve had to handle him fucking you in the morning. He leans in to kiss your neck as one of his men comes over to speak to him. You hum to the music, listening to the man, and you tilt your head, glancing around at Marcus.

He’s talking to one of the other men. The one that sets up the buyers. Trying to get some information from him in the hopes that this case will quickly be put to bed and you can get out of this situation.

You listen as Tony speaks to each man who approaches him. You pretend to bop to the music and caress Tony’s chest as you settle in his lap. This is the best way to learn information. No one pays attention to the lap candy. You’re just an accessory. You see Marcus mingling with the guys who run the goods and you are worried about him. He’s a good agent but he has no idea how intense this cover can be. Tony is violent and quick to kill. You’ve seen it with your own two eyes and you don’t want to see anything happen to Marcus. “Come on baby, let’s dance.” Tony says, dragging you out of your thoughts and you nod, standing up and holding your hand out towards him. He takes it and escorts you out of the VIP area. Everyone here knows he owns the club so they part and allow him to guide you into the middle of the dance floor, his hands gripping your waist to drag you back into his chest.

Marcus watches you for a moment. “Don’t look too interested.” Another Tony, his nickname Little Tony, grimaces. “Boss doesn’t like that. Even if he talks about her so you do want to look.” Marcus pulls his eyes away. “Don’t want to piss him off. He knows he’s in charge.” He agrees. 

Tony is handsy and you spin in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pull him closer. His hands slide down your back to squeeze your ass, his cock hardening against your hip, and you internally groan, not looking forward to him being horny tonight. You’ve been lucky that he has been too drunk to fuck you the past few nights. You glance over his shoulder to see Marcus standing there and you know this will be dangerous.

Marcus sips on the club soda he had gotten from the bar. While he knows that it might be back to Tony that he’s not drinking, he wants to stay as sober as possible, not willing to put you at risk. “Heeeeeey sweetheart.” A hand curls around his arm and he looks down to see a very perky blonde hanging off of him and batting her heavily mascaraed eyes up at him coyly. “You look lonely and you’re too cute to be lonely.”

Marcus looks sexy in his leather jacket and styled hair, making your heart flutter but you know he’s off limits but apparently not to the blonde who is now hanging off him. Your heart clenches and twists but you remind yourself of the hard truth. He doesn’t want you. He never did. He wanted Teresa and right now, he’s going to want to focus on the mission and apparently the cute blonde. Tony smirks and squeezes your ass to bring your attention back to him, grinding against you, and eventually he takes your hand to guide you back to the VIP area. “Baby girl, I got some business to take care of. Go entertain yourself.” He orders when his men approach and you pout, bending down to kiss him and he smacks your tit through your dress before you sway away from him, heading towards the bar where Marcus is standing with the blonde who is clinging to him. You ignore her and wave the bartender over but she is practically dry humping Marcus. “You got a problem?” She scoffs in your direction and you snort, “not at all, honey. Just watching you act like a desperate chihuahua.”

Marcus chuckles as the girl on his arm bristles, obviously spoiling for a fight. “That’s not nice, sweetheart.” He chides you playfully. “This is the boss's girl.” He tells the poor woman before she gets into some shit she can’t get out of. “Might not want to start that fight. Besides, I’m not the man for you.”

“That’s right, babe. You mess with me and Tony will make sure everyone you know suffers.” You warn her and she gulps, clearly having family that works for your boyfriend. You smirk when she backs down, lowering her hand from his arm and she offers you a narrowed glare when she pushes past you. “That was harsh.” Marcus murmurs when you lean against the bar and he turns towards you. “She deserved it. Sniffing around like a horny dog. Women can be worse than men.” You confess and Marcus chuckles, “didn’t know you were so protective.” You lean closer, “this world is dangerous. It’s dog eat dog and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I’m a grown ass man.” Marcus snorts. “You think I can’t handle this? That I’m too soft?” One of the things that his ex wife had said was that he was too sweet. Now that Teresa had walked all over him, the idea that you think that too grates on his nerves. Tony glances over at the two of you and Marcus frowns. “You don’t fuckin’ know me.” He sneers, turning to walk away.

You watch him stride off and your stomach clenches at his tone. You’re worried that he will get found out while trying to protect you. Tony soon appears behind you, his hands on your hips as he leans in to ask what that was about. “Oh nothing. One of the girls questioned me and he told her to fuck off. I told him I didn’t need protection and he stalked off. I’m fine, baby.” You promise him and Tony chuckles, biting down on your shoulder, “my possessive baby. I fucking love it.” You giggle and spin, pressing your lips to his and you wonder where Marcus went. Hopefully you’ll see him soon.

Marcus works his way around the club, buddying up to some of Tony’s men. Making it seem like he’s trying to feel them out when he is probing for information. They open up to him, a few of them at least, others brush him off. Not wanting to let anyone closer to the boss than they are.

****

“Tony!” You moan, your voice breaking as he fucks you while you lay on the edge of his pool. You squeal, but in reality you are bored out of your mind. You hate the man and you have faked every single orgasm you’ve ever had with him. This is part of the job. The way to get him to relinquish information so you can eventually take him down. It’s mid morning, anyone could see you out here but Tony doesn’t care as he fucks you after you decided to have your morning swim. Little do you know that Marcus has arrived and Tony’s men are watching you on the cameras.

“Hey man, is the boss around?” Marcus asks. “Gotta talk to him about this next shipment.” He glances around, curious to see you here. He feels guilty about that night in the club, knowing that you might have taken it personally. He doesn’t want that. He overreacted and you don’t deserve that. Not when you are already stressed from being undercover. Little Tony snickers. “Yeah, he’s around. Wanna see him?” He waves him on and walks towards an open door, the room filled with TVs and shows security cameras of every single inch of the property. The one in the middle with the biggest screen is a feed of the pool. His eyes widen when he sees you splayed out, legs up as Tony pistons in and out of your pussy. “Fuck.”

You moan, pretending to be enjoying this when you want to stab the man above you and end this bullshit undercover op but you can’t. You have to play the long game. Sacrificing your body to get the truth you need to take him down, you watch Tony grunt above you. Your ass is sore from the hard tile beneath you and you clench around him, needing him to finish. “That’s it, baby. Fuck. Cum for me. Cum for daddy.” He demands and you nearly gag. “Oh fuck daddy!” You cry, squeezing his cock to pretend you’re cumming, slumping onto the tile and your chest heaves.

Marcus swallows harshly, wanting to turn away, but Little Tony slaps his arm, looking at him. “Fuck, don’t you wish you were him?” He grunts. “Look at those tits shake. He said she’s tighter than a fucking glove, and the boss talks a big game, but my dick is bigger.” He hates how you are being displayed, watched, talked about, but he just nods. Unable to take his eyes off of you and feeling disgusting for the way his cock actually twitches as he imagines himself in Tony’s place. “Lucky bastard.” He manages, being honest for once.

You watch Tony move above you and finally he pushes deep to fill you up. You moan his name and he grunts, painting your walls and you are grateful you have your IUD and you’ve gone to get checked. You caress his arms, squashing down the urge to push him away and you pant, resting your head on the tiled floor as he works himself through it.

“Fuck I love when Tony gets tired of his girls.” The other Tony hums. “We get to play for awhile before we get rid of them.” 

​​“Getting rid of them?” Marcus frowns and the men chuckle. Little Tony nods and says “yeah. We get to fuck then to death. Kill them so they don’t yap about what’s going on around here. Tony doesn’t like unresolved messes. Some of the girls get a little heartbroken, start talking to the police. Shit gets messy. He likes things kept clean.”

He’s got to get you out of here. He didn’t know that women were going missing, it wasn’t in any of the reports and files. “That makes it easy.” He grunts. “Although I’m sure that you’d want her to last for a little while longer.” He hums. “Enjoy her.”

Little Tony nods, “I’d take my fucking time with her don’t worry. Can’t do shit right now because the boss would chop my dick off but when he’s done? Shit, she’s gonna be fucking split in half.” He chuckles and Marcus chuckles but his eyes are dark in anger. 

**** 

You scrub your skin, desperate to wash his touch from your body, and you wrap your robe around you when you are dry, making your way out into the bedroom. You gasp when you see Marcus standing there. “What are you doing here?”

Marcus frowns, trying to forget the way your body had looked on the security camera. “We need to talk.” He tells you quickly, aware that there are too many cameras around to spend much time around you. “I’m looking for Tony.” He tells you, looking around.

You shake your head, “he’s left. Gone to the warehouse to oversee the latest shipment.” You reveal knowing that’s too much information but you want him to pass that on to the handler. “Is there anything I can help you with?” You tilt your head to show him there’s no cameras in this room. Tony would never allow that.

Marcus relaxes slightly and reaches for your arm to pull you closer. Even if there are no cameras, he can’t risk someone overhearing him. “You have to get out of here.” He hisses quietly. “Tony kills the women when he gets bored with them. After letting his men have them.”

You swallow harshly, seeing the terror in his eyes, and you nod. “I know about that. That’s why - it’s why I’ve had to do what I’ve had to do with Tony. To buy time. I need to be a freak in bed to keep him interested.” You confess shamefully, “I am buying time to take him down. I need that one big break.”

“Fuck.” Marcus swallows harshly and shakes his head. “We need to take him down, now.” He insists, not wanting you in any danger. “You shouldn’t have taken this assignment, sweetheart.”

You nod, knowing he’s right and you sigh, shaking your head, “I’ve tried so hard to get this closed but Tony is ruthless and he seems to change his plan every time I manage to get the information across. I need you to help me but it’s going to be dangerous. You need to be careful and don’t trust anyone.”

“I don’t trust anyone here but you.” Marcus promises, reaching out and taking your hand to squeeze it. “We’re going to take him down and get you out of this. I promise you.” He sighs. “I want you to be careful too. Don’t make him suspicious. Act like you hate me or I annoy you.”

You look down at your hand in his, your heart thumping in your chest as you think about how dangerous this is and you hope nothing happens to him. “We will take him down. There’s a shipment happening tonight. Find out about it. Pass the information on.” You order quietly, “and you need to go. Before anyone finds us.”

He nods, looking into your eyes. “You are so fucking brave.” He murmurs softly, wishing he didn’t have to leave you here. “Let me know if you need me.”

You offer him a smile, your heart clenching at his soft eyes and you pray he is safe as he dives deep into this underworld you’ve been immersed in. 

Later, you are sitting down with Tony, running your fingers along his arm while he examines the new routes available from his scouts. Marcus is standing across the room, not yet privy to this delicate information but you will inform him when you can.

You lean in to kiss Tony’s neck, your stomach twisting with disgust but you hum when he squeezes your thigh in his hand. You smirk, “once this business is taken care of, we can sit in the hot tub. Enjoy that new whiskey you bought.” You murmur and he chuckles, sliding his hand higher, “let’s get this shit settled.” He points at Marcus, “get your guy ready and let’s get this done so I can come back to some pussy.”

​​Marcus nods. “Right away.” He agrees, stepping out to make a call to the field agent that is covering him on the outside. They will set up a sting operation, but this one will actually be the evidence they need to send this asshole away. They need to show him selling the stolen goods, not just receiving them.

You watch Marcus step out and you hope the drop goes off without a hitch with the field agent. You need to get out of here before Tony realizes who you really are or before he grows bored of you. Either way, you’re dead. Tony turns his head to kiss you, “gotta go take care of business but you know I’ll be back and you’d better be naked and waiting in the hot tub for me.” He smirks and you giggle, watching Marcus come back into the room moments later.

“Tony, we’re ready.” He nods at the other man, his eyes flickering over to you briefly. “Why don’t we go out after the drop?” He suggests, wanting to keep you from having to put up with Tony’s touch. Or at least delay it some. “Celebrate?”

Tony hums, unsure until he sees the eager faces of his men so he nods, “let’s go to the club. Dress up, baby. Dress to impress.” He orders and you almost snort like you don’t wear what he wants you to wear. “Let’s go out.” You agree, caressing his arm.

Marcus flashes a pleased grin. “Good, now maybe we can get lucky too.” All the other men chuckle and Little Tony slaps him on the back. Soon enough, the men are filing out of the room to leave you alone. Marcus never looked back at you before he left.

**** 

The music is loud as you glance around the club. The VIP section is full of Tony’s friends and men and you watch your “boyfriend” as he jokes with his men. Marcus is leaning against the bar and your eyes meet his for a moment as you sip your drink. You’ve been left alone on the sofa and you sigh, knowing that once this mission is over, you will need to handle your feelings for Marcus once and for all. You sip your drink again and Tony notices, striding over, “don’t get drunk.” He warns you and you scoff, feeling a little rebellious. You’ve had this asshole ruling your life for far too long and you want him taken down. “I’ll do what I want.” You retort, feeling emboldened and spiteful.

Tony frowns, not liking the way you are talking back. “Don’t piss me off, baby.” He growls. “You won’t like the consequences.” He warns, reaching down and snatching your drink away from you and slamming it down on the table. Marcus sees the confrontation and he quickly pushes away from the bar with the drink he’s not even taken a sip of. “Here boss.” He slaps Tony on the back, interrupting him before he can say anything else to you. “Bought you a drink.”

Tony turns back to Marcus, eyebrows raised as he takes the drink from his hand. “Thanks man.” He says and turns to look back at you, “you need to go home.” Tony demands and you scoff, “send me home. I don’t care.”

Tony raises his hand, and for a second, Marcus thinks he’s going to backhand you. Tensing slightly because he knows he can’t just watch him hit you. Except, the man thinks better of it and chuckles as he brings his hand down. “You must be on the rag.” He snorts, turning towards Marcus. “Take her the fuck home.” He orders. “Make sure she’s not fucking around.”

You want to slap Tony, almost wish you had your gun, but you huff and glare at him, “I just wanted a drink baby.” Tony shakes his head, “I don’t wanna hear it. Just go home. Take her home.” He orders Marcus, knowing the new guy won’t want to be on his bad side and risk his ass so he trusts Marcus to get you back safe and sound. “I’ll see you later.” Tony raises his eyebrows and you nod, standing to walk with Marcus out of the club.

Marcus huffs slightly as he waits for you to gather your purse and your coat. Making it seem like he’s impatient as he shoves his hands in his pockets to keep from helping you into the jacket. He would if he wasn’t undercover. “That sucks man.” Little Tony snorts and Marcus grunts in agreement, “there goes my chances to get some pussy thought.” Marcus tells him, clapping him on the back. “So get your wick dipped for me too.”

You scoff, “you’re both disgusting.” Little Tony chuckles and winks at Marcus, “she’s just jealous.” You smirk, leaning closer, “you better not let Tony hear you talking like that otherwise you don’t have dick to get wet.” You warn and Little Tony nods, gulping a little. You chuckle and adjust your coat, glancing back at Marcus, “well come on then. The naughty girl has to go home.” You click your tongue and stride ahead, ignoring the glances from the club goers as you leave without Tony by your side.

Marcus doesn’t touch you, knowing that there are plenty of eyes on you as you exit the building. Walking towards his car beside you and reaching for his keys. “In you go.” He huffs, snorting to himself when you roll your eyes and shoot him a glare. Playing up your roles perfectly.

You huff as you slide into the passenger seat after he opens the door and he slams it hard before he makes his way around to the driver’s side. When he’s inside and pulling out of the parking lot, you turn to look at him. “Thank you. You bought me some time tonight.” You sigh in relief, tilting your head back against the headrest.

“I thought I was going to blow my cover.” He admits quietly. “I wouldn’t have been able to stand by if he hit you.” He guides the car towards Tony’s house. “The exchange went well, we are close.” He tells you, giving you all the details from the drop. “Now we just need to catch him moving the goods so he can’t claim he didn’t know they were stolen.”

You can’t wait for this to be over. “Let’s get the bastard. He’s, uh, not really physically violent but he’s verbal…some of the things he’s called me.” You confess and you notice how Marcus grips the steering wheel a little harder. “It’s okay, Marc. It’s all part of the op. I knew who he was when I took the mission. I just never expected it would take so long. I can’t wait for it to be over.” You confess softly, looking out the window.

“Why did you take it?” That question has been haunting him. You used to talk to him about everything, right down to what to have for dinner that night. “You didn’t say anything about it and then just….disappeared.” His tone is hurt, because that’s how he feels.

His question makes your throat tighten and you look down at your hands, “I, um, I took it to escape. I didn’t want - it doesn’t really matter now.” You say but he tuts, not accepting that answer, “of course it matters.” You sigh and tangle your fingers together, “I took it to get away from the office…from you. I couldn’t - it was too much to watch you be with Teresa.”

“Teresa?” That surprises him and he frowns as he twists around to look at you at the next red light. “What did Teresa have to do with anything? We were friends, partners.” He huffs.

You sigh, knowing that this mission is dangerous and the best way to navigate getting out alive is to be honest. You’ve had a lot of time to think about Marcus since you’ve been away from him. “It’s hard to watch your partner…your friend, be with another woman when you’re in love with him.” You confess softly, bracing yourself for rejection.

His mouth drops open in shock, surprised by that. He had never known, had an inkling that you had any feelings for him beyond friendship. “What?” He manages. “You- why, why didn’t you tell me?” He asks finally, jumping slightly when the car behind him honks the horn after the light turns green. He has to look away from you, but he’s desperate for you to answer him.

You swallow harshly, your throat clenching, “I- I was scared and I didn’t think you wanted me. I didn’t know - we are partners. Friends. You have always been dating and I haven’t. I figured you don’t feel the same way so I kept quiet. It breaks my heart but I can’t - I had to get away from you when you were marrying her.” You confess softly, “I had to go before my heart broke.”

“Fuck.” Marcus reaches over and takes your hand, threading his fingers through yours. “Of course I was attracted to you. Halfway in love with you from the first week. But I didn’t-“ he shakes his head. “We were partners, I was afraid of fucking that up, so I - it’s why I asked Teresa out.” He admits. “I liked her, but I knew that if I didn’t start focusing my attention somewhere, my feelings for you would get me into trouble.”

You blink to stop yourself from crying. You’ve had to put your body on the line to save your heart when really it would’ve been safe with Marcus. “I love you.” You murmur, “I still do. I was scared. Scared to get hurt by you because you - you’re so amazing and you deserve the world. You deserved better than Teresa.”

“When you left, I was so hurt.” He admits quickly, his voice low. “You were the first person I wanted to call, about anything.” He sighs softly. “I should have known that it wouldn’t have worked out then, but I’m stubborn. And an idiot.” He snorts, squeezing your hand gently. “I love you too.”

“You must be so ashamed of me. Giving my body to a criminal like I have.” You close your eyes as he drives you back to Tony’s. “I need to get out of here. I need to take him down.” You choke, opening your eyes and you look down at your joined hands.

“Ashamed of you?” Marcus frowns and shakes his head. “Never.” He promises, his voice slightly stern. “I would never be ashamed of you for giving everything you are to take this bastard down. You are so brave and I’m in awe of you.”

You shake your head, “the things I’ve had to do. I need - I want to replace his touch.” You confess, “I hate him. I feel sick when he’s inside me but I am fighting to take him down.”

“I saw.” Marcus admits quietly, shame lacing his words. “That first day I came to the house, the guys were watching on the security cameras. Then they were talking about when they got to have you.” He hisses. “They aren’t going to fucking touch you, I promise.”

Your eyes close in shame and you hate that Marcus saw you like that. “I’m not stupid. I've heard the comments. I know what they want. That’s why I’m trying to take Tony down as fast as possible. That’s why I didn’t check in. I couldn’t risk it.”

“I know.” He lifts your hand and kisses the back of it gently. “We will take this bastard down and get you out of here.” He bites his lip. “Then we can see what happens between us?” He asks hopefully, knowing you might need some time to process being undercover.

You nod and smile, knowing you definitely want to see where this goes with Marcus but you’ll need time to process being with Tony and immersed in this world. You squeeze his hand and let him continue driving you back to the house that’s become your home for the past three months.

He sighs as he pulls up to the large house. “I’m going to call in tonight,” he promises you, “see when we can get a ‘buyer’ set up through one of the other guys to keep it from looking too suspicious. I want you out of there.” He stops at the gate. “I wish I was taking you somewhere, anywhere, else.”

You sigh, “me too. Sometimes I lie in his bed and wonder if it would be easier to just stab him in his sleep. Sneak a knife in from dinner and end it all but that doesn’t end the business. We need to stop the shipments and the only way to do that is to discover his contacts. It takes time.” You murmur and watch as the gate opens.

“We are close to the end.” Marcus promises softly. Although he’s concerned about how deep you are, how quick Tony could tire of you. He’s not going to sit back and let you get killed for this. He pulls through the gate. “At least you will have the house to yourself.”

You sigh as he pulls up, turning to look at him, and you don’t want him to go just yet. “I know where the cameras have blank spots. You can come inside if you want. Tony won’t be back for hours. He will probably be drunk and high off his own supply. Can you - can you come inside? I don’t want to be alone just yet.” You murmur, looking down at your joined hands.

It’s dangerous and he knows that. But he also knows that it’s dangerous for you to feel like you are alone. “Yeah.” He agrees, looking around. “I can ‘leave’ and park down the road so it looks like I left.” He murmurs. “Where can I get back in?”

“There’s a back door in the alley. That’s where the goods are brought in and out the house. Tony doesn’t like that to be recorded on camera. You can go through the garden which only has cameras on the perimeter and come to the back door. I’ll open it for you.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t hesitate even though you are both playing with fire. He tells himself that it will be a chance to search for things that would incriminate Tony even more, although he knows that he’s not thinking about that. He’s thinking more about making sure you are okay, knowing the toll of playing someone else for so long is taking on you. He’s been undercover for months to get to this point and you’ve been under longer than he has. “Give me five minutes.” He murmurs.

You nod, “be careful. Tony has guards patrolling but they usually are fucking around instead of walking around.” You tell him and he nods, putting the car in park so he can get out and open your door. You take his hand to get out and you squeeze it, “I’ll see you in five minutes.” He nods and you watch him drive off, your heart pounding as you walk inside the house and wait for him to return.

Marcus makes sure that he is off the cameras before he parks, tucking his car between a couple of others in a parking lot and quickly locking the door before jogging around towards the back of the property. He makes it seem like he’s lost, but looking for something in case he runs into one of the guards, but luckily no one is around. Jumping over the fence and to the back door quietly to wait for you to open it.

You are glad the house is quiet. Most of the men are at the club or occupied so you quietly open the back door and Marcus walks in, glancing around. “It’s clear.” You promise and take his hand, escorting him through the house to an area you know will be safe in case anyone comes back. “We are good here.” You promise, shutting the door to the small living room.

“What is this place?” Marcus asks, looking around at the surprisingly cozy room. “This is where Tony goes when he’s talking business.” She explains. “That’s why there are no cameras.”

Marcus nods and you guide him over to the sofa, squeezing his hand once you’re sat down. You shuffle a little closer to him, looking down at your joined hands, “so we need to talk about what happens next. I need you to forget that you love me. You can’t react when the guys say shit or when Tony is a little rough with me. Or he touches me. I’ve worked hard to make sure Tony trusts me and I don’t want you to get into trouble. Tony is possessive so if you start looking pissed, he’s going to cotton on.”

“I know.” Marcus nods. “I won’t put you in any more danger, baby. I promise you that. You and I don’t know each other until this is done.” He reaches out and caresses your cheek. “But you remember that I’m here. That I love you, that I’m proud of you.”

You smile, tilting your head into his touch, and you murmur his name. He leans closer to nudge his nose against yours, giving you a moment to pull back but you close the gap. Your lips meet his and it’s like electricity sparks through you as he tilts your head to deepen the kiss.

It’s stupidly dangerous to do this, but he can’t help himself. The taste of your lips is instantly addictive and he needs to feel you just a little. To show you that he was honest about not being ashamed of you. His hands wind around you and pull you close, groaning into your mouth when your tongue touches his.

You cling to him, loving how he tastes and how he feels. You moan into his mouth, sliding your tongue against his, and your heart is pounding. You know it’s unlikely that anyone could walk in but the possibility has your pulse racing.

Marcus closes his eyes, holding you as tight as he can without suffocating you. Feeling his cock starting to harden as you press yourself against him. Huffing in embarrassment as he pulls away so you don’t feel it. “I’m- I’m sorry, baby.” He pants softly.

You shake your head, caressing his chest, “I want you, Marcus. I’d ride you right here right now but I love you too much to do that. Tony - we don’t use condoms and I need to get tested. I respect you too much to risk you. Soon. I promise. Soon.” You vow, pecking his lips.

“I don’t want you to think I’m like those other animals.” He grunts, kissing you back. “I don’t just want you because you are sexy. I want everything with you. Your joy and pain, your fears, and happiness. I want to build a life with you after all this.”

You grin, cupping his cheek, “I want that too. I want to see what we can be. I want everything with you. A whole life.” You promise and he grins, nudging his nose against yours. “You need to go. Before he comes back. I don’t want them to find you here.” You say, shifting to stand from the sofa.

He doesn’t want to leave you here, but he has to. Getting up, he pulls you close again and presses his lips to your gently. “I’ll be by tomorrow morning.” He murmurs. “I’ll check in and hope they have good news for us.”

You nod, silently hoping that your team will come in and handle Tony sooner rather than later. Marcus winks at you and you guide him through the house until he’s at the back door. “I love you. Stay safe.” You demand and he nods, dragging you close to kiss you until you’re breathless. Your heart flutters when he winks at you again and disappears. He loves you. Marcus loves you and you need to get out of here so you can see what you can become.

**** 

It’s been weeks since that night and the case is starting to stall. Tony seems hesitant to move the product and Marcus feels like he’s beating his head against the wall. He’s been aloof, spending more time in the club and there’s a sincere fear that he’s starting to get bored with you. He sips his drink as he watches you curl around Tony and cuts his eyes away so he doesn’t give anything away.

You see the way Tony looks at the woman hovering near the VIP area. Her dance moves clearly meant to entice him and it’s working. His grip on your thigh loosens and his eyes trail along her form. Your days are numbered. He’s losing interest and you know what that means. You’ll be given to his men. You still have a few days but you need to act fast. Your eyes find Marcus hovering near the bar and you can see how tense he is. He knows too. Time is running out and you need to do something before you both end up dead.

Marcus turns towards Little Tony. “How’s your contact feeling?” He asks casually. “I’m ready to make some money off this deal already. We’ve been holding onto everything for too long.”

Little Tony taps his fingers against the bar, “I reckon we can get the contact to move in a few days. I’ll get a time and place to meet up. I wanna get rid of this shit and Tony is getting distracted by new toys. Good fucking news for us. Looks like baby doll over there will be our next hand me down. We can strap her down, take our fucking time with her.” He waggles his eyebrows, “I’ve seen you watching her. You wanna get your dick wet in that pussy. I can tell.”

Marcus knows he can’t deny it, but he shrugs. “She’s a prime piece of ass.” He grins, even though he hates talking about you like this, he has to sell it. “If the boss is tired of her, I want to see if she’ll squeal for me like she does him.” He takes a sip of his drink as Little Tony chuckles.

“Don’t worry man. She will be ours soon.” He promises and Marcus smirks, letting his gaze drift back over to you and you are sipping your drink. You need to get away from Tony and soon. 

**** 

“Baby, I’m going to have my nails done.” You tell Tony and he nods, not even looking up from his phone. “Get red.” He demands and you smile, “of course, baby. Wanna see my new nails while I jerk you off later?” You coo, leaning against his desk and he grunts, typing away from his phone. You sigh and push away, leaving him in peace and you know your time is limited. Tony doesn’t care about you right now so you manage to drive yourself to the clinic. You want to get tested - you’ve gotten tested regularly during this op to make sure that asshole hasn’t given you something. You greet the receptionist and soon you’re on the way to the nail salon, awaiting the results of your tests. You pay to have them expedited to give you peace of mind. You check your phone and the message from Marcus comes through on the burner phone you gave him to text you. “Heading to the location now.” He says and you swallow harshly, nervous for this to go off without a hitch. “Be careful.” You reply, “Tony is getting restless. We need the team to be there tonight.” You reply, knowing that you need Tony to be taken down tonight.

“Got it.” He replies and closes the phone to tuck away in the car. He’s nervous and he’s never really been nervous when it comes to a bust. Something feels odd but he can’t put his finger on it. Something small but he shakes it off, thinking that it’s just relief that the end is in sight and worrying about getting you out of the op unharmed. The cars pull up and the warehouse is empty, making Marcus frown as he gets out of the car and walks over to where Tony is getting out of his. “Looks like we are early.”

Tony nods, cracking his knuckles as he walks towards Marcus. “Yeah. Early. Looks like we gotta hang around and wait for them and you know how much I fucking hate waiting…especially when it’s waiting for the fucking feds.” Tony looks at Marcus with raised eyebrows, letting him know that he knows.

Dread swirls in Marcus’s stomach but his eyes narrow and he frowns. “Feds?” He asks, feigning confusion as he tries to play it off. Hoping that the team is closing in. His cover has been blown. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Tony scoffs, “don’t play fucking dumb. I know who you are. You’re a fucking fed. Little Tony saw you texting on some fucking burner phone and what a surprise when I found out who you’ve been texting. The whore that has been sharing my bed. Little Tony has been my right hand man. He realized you’ve been talking and I thought it was a fucking affair but then I did some digging and guess what I found? You’re a fucking fed.”

Shit. Marcus shakes his head, holding his hands up. “I don’t know what he’s been feeding you, but I’m no fucking fed.” He lies. “I’m the one who gave you this deal. Your right hand man is jealous of you. Fucker probably set this up to get rid of me and make you give him your girl. He’s been talking about how he’ll make her scream better than you ever could.” He tells him, playing against his vanity. “Fucker watches you with her every time on the cameras.”

Tony turns to look at little Tony who shakes his head, “I swear boss. I was gonna take your sloppy seconds. I just - I like to watch, okay? I’m a freak. But this motherfucker? He’s a fucking fed. He’s working for the goddamn FBI. I saw him meeting a fed. You know my cousin, Big Anthony? He has a guy on the inside and he recognized this fucker but couldn’t figure out where from until we did some digging. Listen man, I want your girl but this dude is trying to take you down.”

“So you admit that you’re watching.” Marcus snorts. “But you should have heard him. Talking about how he could run things better. How you aren’t good enough to keep your girl. He’s trying to undermine things and I’m telling you he wants to eliminate the men who actually have your back.” Tony looks torn, and it’s a good thing. If he can plant a seed of doubt, it might save his and your lives. “He wants to be you. He tells all the guys to stop calling him Little Tony.”

Tony is fuming, torn between believing Little Tony and believing Marcus. There’s no hard evidence that he’s seen that proves Marcus is a fed. He turns to look at the shorter man, his eyes a little wild, and he has seen the hunger in his eyes. The desire to take what is his. To be him. It happens in a blink of an eye but one second Little Tony is standing there pleading his case and the next he’s on the floor, blood pouring from the bullet wound in his head.

Marcus jumps, startled by how quickly Tony had turned on his faithful right hand man. While everything Marcus had said was true, Little Tony was too much of a coward to ever challenge his boss. He continues to hold up his hands when Tony turns towards him, his heart pounding as the gun is still raised. “Tony- man-“ he starts to try to talk the man down, but there is a shout from outside and the sounds of gunfire erupts.

Marcus ducks as the vans squeal into the warehouse, feds jumping from them with guns raised and Tony isn’t dumb. He raises his hands after dropping the gun. Marcus raises his hands and the feds rush him, grabbing his arms to slap cuffs on him to keep up the image that he’s not a fed. He doesn’t need anyone hearing he works for the FBI if Tony talks.

You are leaving the nail salon when a van pulls up and you immediately tensing up and wish you had your gun on you but you relax when Agent Johnson gets out of the van. “Agent. It’s over. We got him.” He tells you and you feel like your heart is going to explode in relief. “Marcus? Where’s Agent Pike?” You ask, worried and Johnson chuckles, jerking his head, and he walks around to the back of the van to open the doors. “Agent Pike is under arrest.” Johnson jokes and gestures for you to get in. “Could you-?” Marcus asks, looking up at his cuffed hands. Johnson had made a show of cuffing him to the grab bar. “Not yet.” Johnson teases and you get into the back of the van. The car you’d driven to the nail salon will get seized with the rest of Tony’s assets. You sit opposite Marcus as Johnson slams the doors shut to take you both to debriefing and you look at Marcus. “It’s over.” You whisper, almost unable to believe it.

“Even if Tony gets off on the original charges, he executed Little Tony right in front of me.” He tells you, making your eyes widen in surprise. “He’s never going to get off on those murder charges.” He promises. “You are free.”

“Shit.” You murmur, processing the fact that Little Tony is dead. You’re free and you’re safe. You will get the details later but for right now, you surge across the gap to press your lips to Marcus, his hands still handcuffed and you straddle him to kiss him, cupping his cheeks.

Marcus grunts in surprise, eyes widening when you kiss him. Only to flutter closed in pleasure as he realizes that he can kiss you. Sure he might get some shit from Johnson, but he doesn’t care. Letting you take care and feel like you are in control, knowing that you need this to feel like it’s real. He kisses you back, chasing your lips when you pull away.

You whimper when his tongue pushes into your mouth and you feel him hardening beneath you. Both of you are running on the high of catching the criminal and you are getting wet from the fact that you can be with Marcus now.

You grind down on him so deliciously that Marcus can't help the soft moan that is breathed into your mouth. euphoric that you both made it out, he feels you start to rock your hips as you dig your fingers into his hair.

You whimper into his mouth, pulling back a moment later, “I need you. I got tested today. I’m clean. Can I - can I fuck you?” You whisper, kissing his jaw and you stop grinding down onto him, knowing you need him to think clearly.

He should say no, wait until you've had some time to visit the therapist that will be mandatory for you to see after being undercover. But he sees the desperation in your eyes, the need to feel anything else other than the stress and disgust you have been feeling during this op. "I'm yours." He promises, turning his head and pressing his lips to yours. "Do whatever you want to me, baby."

You moan, shifting off of him to stand up, nearly falling but you manage to shove your panties down, kicking them aside until you straddle Marcus. Your hands fumble as you work on his belt and unbuttoning his pants until you can pull his hardening cock out. “Fuck, Marcus.” You marvel at how thick he is in your grip.

“Shit.” He hisses, twitching in your hand and groaning when you squeeze him before slowly pumping his cock. “I- I’m clean.” He promises you. “Got- fuck- got tested before going undercover and I haven’t slept with anyone.” He confesses, knowing that you might have thought he had taken someone home at least once.

You nod, shifting to lift yourself and position his cock at your entrance. You are wet for him, the very idea of him, and you start to sink down onto him as you cup his cheeks, pressing your lips against his.

He knows you can’t be too loud, the agents up front would be able to hear you. Still he wants you to moan. The soft inhale of breath drives him crazy. He wants to snap his hips up and bury himself in the hot clutch of your warmth, but he lets you slowly sink down on him. “Fuuuuuuuuck.” He breathes out quietly.

Your breath mingles as you pull back for a second and you nod in agreement, “you’re stretching me out. She was a fucking fool.” You murmur, starting to rock your hips. “I love you.” You whisper before you kiss him.

He’s not thinking about Teresa right now, so your words confuse him for a moment. Grinning against your lips when he realizes what you are meaning. “I love you too.” He promises, knowing that Teresa leaving him is for the best, he could help you out of this op and get to be with you.

You cling to him, the van jostling you, and you moan into his jaw when the angle makes your walls clench around him. His fingers flex in the handcuffs and you wish his hands were free so he could touch you but you kind of like having this power. You bounce on his cock, your hands caressing his neck as you watch him.

It’s wild, primal and scandalous, but he loves it. His jaw is clenched as you fuck him, his cock aching every time you clench around him. “Fuck, baby.” He groans quietly. “Use me, ride my cock.”

You won’t deny him or yourself and you rock harder and faster, your moans smothered as you bury your face in his hair. The van jostles you but you reach up to grab his cuffed wrists to keep yourself steady as you ride him.

Marcus grunts, loving how frantic you are. Later, he will spread you out and take his time, but right now you both need this. “Good girl, that’s it.” He croons.

You are getting closer just from the thought of being with Marcus like this. His croon makes you gasp as you rock down onto his cock, getting closer and closer to your high. “Oh fuck, Marc.” You choke, letting go of his wrists to cup his cheeks, pressing your lips to his to stop your cry reaching Agent Johnson as you clamp down on Marcus’s cock.

Marcus groans against your lips and wishes he could wrap his arms around you. Wanting to draw you closer. “Cum for me, sweetheart.” He begs softly. Needing to feel you come apart for him. This isn’t some lurid show on a camera where Tony is railing you, you are taking your own pleasure from him.

It’s impossible to deny his plea and you whimper, clamping down on his cock and your thighs shake as you cry against his mouth, unable to stop yourself from letting him know how good this feels. “Marcus. Cum for me.” You beg breathlessly, barely able to rock your hips.

Marcus shudders, his hips bucking up as he gives in to your demand. Body stiffening and his cock starts to throb inside your pulsing walls. He moans your name and starts to fill you. Hot ropes of cum start painting your walls.

You gasp at the feel of his hot cum filling you up and you press your lips to his, rocking your hips to work you both through your highs until finally you slump against him. Panting to catch your breath, you gasp his name and kiss his neck.

“Fuck. Fuck.” He chuckles quietly as he tries to catch his breath. “That’s something I never thought would happen.” He admits, turning his head and nudging his nose against yours before kissing you softly. The van is still moving and he hums. “Go out with me tonight.” He asks. “Let me take you out to celebrate.”

You jostle when the van goes over a pothole and you cling to Marcus as he starts to soften inside you. “We are gonna have a shit ton of debriefing and psych evals, but yes. I’ll go out with you.” You grin and you realize you’ll be back at HQ soon so you reluctantly shift off of him, reaching for your panties to pull them on so his cum doesn’t leak down your thighs and you work on tucking him back into his pants.

He watches you closely, admiring how you are so poised. You are strong, really strong. “I don’t deserve you.” He tells you. “I was such an idiot, and I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t- I wish I had known. It could have saved us both so much heartache.”

You sigh, your palms resting on his thighs, “we didn’t know how the other felt and it wasn’t - neither of us wanted to risk our partnership…our friendship. I didn’t want to be the reason why you looked at me like I had ruined everything so I decided it was easier to leave. We are here now, baby. That’s all that matters. There are so many “what ifs”, but we can’t change the past.”

“No we can’t.” He wishes he could hold you, but he settles for leaning forwards to kiss you again. “I’m going to kick Johnson’s ass for keeping me handcuffed.” He snorts, smiling when you giggle.

You sit opposite Marcus when Johnson opens the van after stopping and he grins, "fuck me, it smells like sex in here. What did you two get up to?" He teases, seeing Marcus's ruffled hair. Your cheeks burn but you wink at Marcus, "just doing what we should've done a long time ago." Johnson nods, "amen to that. Everyone had a fucking bet going until Pike fucked it up and proposed to Teresa. Anyway, let's get you two debriefed." He says, stepping in to uncuff Marcus.

Marcus snorts. “Coulda let me know, pal.” He tells the other agent sarcastically as the key unlocks the cuffs. “What would be the fun in that?” He asks, shooting Marcus a grin and stepping back. “Might want to wipe the lipstick off your neck, Pike.”

You giggle, licking your thumb to wipe the lipstick away from his skin, and you gasp when he smacks your ass as you get out of the van. His arm wraps around your waist as you walk into the building and you know you are safe with him. "So dinner later?" You ask and he nods, "anything you prefer?" You hum and look at him, "I want to do take out back to yours so you can do whatever you want to me."

Marcus groans, his spent cock twitching in interest. “Then you better plan on spending the night.” He tells you, knowing he won’t want to let you go home after. “You can see the place I bought.” He frowns slightly, remembering that you are technically still assigned to the Texas office. “You should transfer to D.C.” He murmurs. “You can’t work for me, but I could ask about getting you on a team?”

You nod without hesitation knowing you want to be with Marcus and you can't ask him to come back to Texas when this promotion was a huge deal. "Absolutely. I'm all in." You promise, squeezing his hand. You've known Marcus for years, been his partner for most of the time you've known him, and you know you are completely in love with him.

“We’ll work everything out, sweetheart.” Marcus promises, smiling over at you. He might have been shocked to learn that you were undercover, but he’s happy that he’s managed to find his way back to happiness with you. “Let’s go get this done so we can start.”

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 2 (2025)

By Bex, Dion, Briar and Peter

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

It’s time for a revival!

As you might have noticed, our Column section has been dead for a while. We feel like it’s time to do something about that!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

Send us a message and we will be happy to feature it in our future Issues!

There’s power in numbers!

Are you an IF fan and would like a way to give back to the community? We’re once again looking for new members of our Team!

Do you enjoy keeping up with updates and finding new gems? Maybe you even enjoy working with Google Sheets?

Then our Tracker of News position is made just for you!

Contact us on any of our socials or email and help us stay on the top of our game and make our Database even better!

BEX, DION, BRIAR AND PETER

~ ANNOUNCEMENTS ~

Most importantly:

WNiIF? is switching to a bi-weekly schedule!

Keeping up with news and releasing a new Issue every week is exhausting. We have decided to change it up a bit, hopefully preventing a possible burnout. We also hope that this will give us more time to make every Issue a bit better.

We thank you for your understanding.

What else?

Our X/Twitter account is no longer active. Please check out our other social media to keep an eye on releases and news.

We plan on releasing a special What’s 2024 in IF? Issue summing up all Issues that came out last year. This will include New Releases, Event Highlights, Columns, Game Highlights and more, making it easier for new readers to check out the Zine. The date of release is not set yet, but hopefully soon!

More exciting stuff is to be unveiled in the upcoming Issues!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : Queer Vampire Game Jam 2025 ~

🦇 🥀 🕯 🪦 🩸

Queer Vampire Game Jam is a month-long interactive fiction game jam hosted by kit, nyehilism, that will run from January 10 - February 20th, 2025. The goal of this jam is to create more interactive fiction games about queer vampires, focusing both on queer relationships and queer experiences as told through a vampiric narrative.

Last year’s edition had over 50 amazing submissions. Give them a look too!

~ ENDED ~

The Queer Winter Game Jam is in full swing. Those interested can submit their work until January 16th 2025.

~ VOTING ~

Feeling nostalgic about the golden age of text adventures? Relive those days by participating in PunyComp 2024!

IF Short Games Showcase 2024 is a great way to shine some new light on projects made in the past year (Jan 1, 2024 to Dec 31, 2024). You now have until January 25th 2025 to vote.

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Media depicting healthy examples of polyamory isn’t that common. The PolyJamorous 2024 is trying to break the status-quo!

ShuffleComp is a musical interactive fiction competition where you make games based on songs, which are submitted by other entrants. Creators have until January 20th 2025 to upload their works.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

SeedComp! is a 2-round interactive fiction game jam, focusing on creativity and the growth of ideas and the Sprouting Round has just started! Check out the Planting round for inspiration.

BL stands for Boys' Love, a genre that focuses on romantic and emotional relationships between male characters. The Ultimate BL Visual Novel Game Jam is all about that!

Are you a fan of Vampires? Then lucky for you, because the Queer Vampire Game Jam is back!

Sealed With A Kiss Jam 2025 is a fantastical romance jam for all VN lovers!

The eighth annual Ace Jam is a game jam about creating games with asexual spectrum characters.

~ NEW RELEASE ~

Joyride To Hell (Ren’Py) After weeks of not hearing from your girlfriend she called you panicked, wanting to meet up with you. You want nothing more to do with her. But as they say, forgiveness is a virtue.

The Shadow Over Cyberspace (Ren’Py) From the same creators of Arcade Spirits. Time is running out, barter with gods, embrace the deathless aeons, or go offline permanently.

Full moon. Cold night. Dark shadow. Warm gun. The Beast of Glenkildove has stalked Ireland for centuries. Now, you must hunt it in Hunter: The Reckoning — The Beast of Glenkildove (CScript).

In Five Candles in the Meadow (Twine) even in the far flung future, penpals still exist. With a sea of stars between them, two young adults keep correspondence as best they can, with lone data relays acting as their heavenly messengers. @windsoflimbo

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

After Mina Murray is reunited with her childhood friends Jonathan and Lucy Harker, they are all invited on a cruise to Transylvania with a mysterious man named Count Dracula. - Syndromedia's Dracula (Ren’Py)

Rite of Decay (Ren’Py) or, Sense in Self; The testimony of one Nastya V. Yarocz, Rot Physician, on the peculiar happenings at Pavia Manor following the death of honoured Guest Lord Kallistos of Arkhé. And on the even more curious romances she has forged therein.

House of Prestidigitation (CScript) is a school of magic game, a chance for you to pursue a specialty in the magical arts while competing in extra-curricular events, investigating clandestine clubs, and preventing a disastrous curse from carrying away the House before the end of term! You can also explore the strange history of the House itself, or turn your attention towards more romantic endeavours.

What will you do now that you find yourself in the captain’s chair of a starship tasked with exploration and diplomacy? Forge your name in the history of the Astral Alliance as a hero… or a traitor in Captain’s Log - Space Adventure (CScript).

In Time Fall (CScript) — Time does not wait for anyone, even for the one that controls it. Life in the undercity of Draeken, also known as The Depths, is brutal enough. But when an ill-fated encounter leaves you forever altered—your blood itself changed—you’ll soon realize that time is strange, and the thin fabric of reality a fickle thing. Even more so when it’s something you can no longer just witness … but may be forced to control.

Until the Dogs Come Home (CScript) is about war, though you play no part in it. Instead, you are the sole member of your hometown’s postal service, who must venture into fire and brimstone to bring the word of loved ones to the front lines. As the battle rages on and new truths come to light, your seemingly simple job transforms into a rescue mission, where the very lives of the people you were tasked to deliver to are in your hands.

In Velocity's Edge (Twine) as the adrenaline-soaked story unfolds, secrets are unveiled, loyalties are tested, and the pursuit of the checkered flag takes on a life of its own, propelling the characters toward the finish line which is only the beginning of the ultimate race. @velocitysedge-if

In the summer of 1984 you get a letter informing you of your mother's death. The first and only letter you get in ten years since you left your hometown. You stand in the middle of the old, tiny room that you can barely afford to rent and read it over and over again until the buzz at the back of your head quiets down. - There Are No People Left (Twine)

In Bride of Shadows (Twine) step into the tragic and fleeting existence of a Vestal of Dawn—a priestess bound by sacred vows of purity and an unwavering devotion to scripture. But when the sun goddess abandons you, your faith shatters. In your darkest moment, a tempting offer arises. A new covenant. A second chance at life... but at a cost. @bride-of-shadows-if

In Lecture Me Later (Unity) you wake up in a classroom way after your lecture concludes. The person who wakes you up looks familiar. Oh right, it's that one popular guy that everyone likes. With the light of the setting sun on your skin, you engage in conversation with the popular young man, realizing that things are taking a very scandalous turn, and that his interests are far more fascinating than you'd think. @lehxra-arts

~ UPDATES ~

A Shriek of Ash and Fire (CScript) added new content to their demo. @krogpile

Eldritch Tales: Inheritance (CScript) released second portion of Chapter 3. @darielivalyen

Keeper of Life and Death (CSscript) added new content to their demo. @keeperofthesunandmoon

Lightweaver: Chosen (CSscript) updated their demo. @lightweaver-chosen-if

My One and Only (CSscript) added new content to their demo. @reds-corner

Strings of Fate: Origins (CScript) released full Chapter 3.

The Eternal Library (CScript) updated their demo. @leiatalon

The Ultimate Magic Student (CScript) added new content to their demo

Thicker Than (CScript) updated their demo. @barbwritesstuff

Throne of Blood (CScript) released Zero and Cy’s aftermath Chapters. @throneofblood-if

Tri City Monsters (Ren’Py) released Akello Chapter 4. @tricitymonsters

Weeping Gods (CScript) updated their demo. @jcollinswrites

When Life Gives You Lemons (CScript) added new content to their demo. @when-life-gives-you-lemons-if

Chop Shop (CScript) released Episode 4. @losergames

Help! I Got Isekaied as a Lamia (CScript) added new content to the demo @succubus-interactivefiction

Marry My Stalker released Chapter 1.

The King's Hound (Twine) released the second half of Chapter 2. @the-kingshound

Hybrid (Twine) added new content to their demo. @heart-forge

~ OTHER ~

Mathbrush released Learning from the Best of Text [IF History Book], a collection of various historical essays about the history of interactive fiction as told through the lens of IFComp, the XYZZY Awards, and Spring Thing. (We thank Anon for bringing our attention to this release.)

When Winter Comes Again (Definitive Edition) (Ren’Py) is the fully remastered version of the romance visual novel originally released for mobile devices. Now available on PC, this edition brings an enhanced experience with improved visuals, and refined storytelling.

To Ashes You Shall Return (CScript) is looking for beta testers!

Sanguine Sky: Winter Special Collection of the short stories is out! @sanguinesky-if

let’s TEST IF#2: playtesting your game is also out! @golmac

As you might have heard, Dashingdon, a free ChoiceScript game hosting service, will be shutting down at the end of the month. All users and games will be permanently deleted. (Read more here)

If you know about a project that’s moving to an alternative hosting service, please consider updating the link in our Database. Our Team will be working on this in the upcoming weeks, but any help would be appreciated.

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks. If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Velocity's Edge by Amelia (Twine).

It's the first F1 based interactive fiction I've seen! Its very unique!

//submitted by anon//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

our anons

For sending us a Highlight and news!!

And as always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on last week's issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

See you in two weeks!

BEX, DION, BRIAR AND PETER

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2025-ISSUE 2

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!

[aventurineswife]

MORE SAHSRAU!!

kinda related to the "Herta becoming somewhat an emanator of creator!reader" and since I need to get this out of my head and I just really like Dr. Ratio

What would Dr. Ratio react once he found out about creator!reader? would he give up on wanting Nous to gaze upon him so that the reader could gaze upon him instead? Or would he know better? (hopefully leaning towards the former instead of the latter but whatever floats your boat)

And how would he feel once he heard about Herta managing to get a glimpse of the reader and becoming the emanator? Taking his chance yet again like how Herta did with Nous?

Anyway sorry for the big yap session (it's probably not as big as some of the other asks but oh well). I probably won't send asks much but can I be 🌀🦇 anon? If It's not taken yet, of course

Oh, this is so good—Dr. Ratio’s entire thing is about proving his worth, about getting Nous to recognize him, and suddenly there’s something far beyond even Nous? Something that does see, but does not judge—or perhaps, judges by standards so vast and alien that it might as well be random chance?

Yeah, he’d lose it.

At first? He’s skeptical.

The idea that there’s something beyond Nous, beyond the Aeons themselves?

That there’s a being that can see all things but chooses not to intervene?

He laughs. He rejects it. Because if this is true, then everything he has strived for is meaningless.

But then he starts seeing the signs.

He hears whispers about what happened to those who waged war against Them.

He learns that even Nous does not look upon Them directly.

And worst of all? Herta.

When Dr. Ratio finds out that Herta glimpsed the Creator and lived? That she became their emanator?

He is furious.

Not because he hates the Creator. Not yet.

But because he was supposed to be the one to be recognized.

He spent so long trying to prove himself to Nous, only for Herta to surpass even that goal—by accident?

And the worst part?

Herta does not care.

To her, this is not about faith or reverence. This is about understanding.

The Creator is an anomaly to be studied, a puzzle to be solved.

But Ratio? He wants to be seen. To be acknowledged.

There are two ways this could go:

1. He doubles down, trying to get the Creator to see him.

He becomes obsessed, challenging Herta, demanding answers, trying to get even a fraction of what she received.

He will find a way to be worthy. He has to.

2. He realizes that some things are too vast to grasp.

Maybe he sees what Aglaea saw.

Maybe he realizes that being perceived by Them is not a blessing.

Maybe he finally understands why Nous does not look.

And instead of chasing another impossible gaze, he just… stops.

But either way?

The moment he knows the Creator exists, the moment he knows that Herta has already gotten what he spent his whole life striving for?

It destroys him.

(And yes, 🌀🦇 anon is all yours! and that's alright!)