#hopefully this did the song justice too

[sysig]

Just thinking about @10yrsy’s Things, y’know, casually (Patreon)

[chlorinecake]

HELLO

Please PLEASE make a fic about the songs church- chase Atlantic!!

It's my latest obsession, next to enha ofc

leading you on | l.hs

♱ plot: from the shy boy you first met at church camp who your parents once adored to their biggest fuckboy nightmare, you and heeseung reconnect on an online platform where you became a popular streaming duo together, leading to some steamy (and eventually forbidden) connections between you two…

loser!streamer!heeseung x fem!streamer!reader

♱ contains: SLOW BURN, swearing, sneaking out, mentions of bulges (multiple times), oral and fingering (f. r.), slight corruption kink, y/n stripping in front of a large audience (on camera), unprotected sex + virginity loss, y/n deliberately disobeying her parents, angst-ish, ft. other kpop idols, roughly 7k words

a/n: this is my first time writing a one shot all about Heeseung so hopefully I did our favorite loser boy some justice in this fic... have fun reading!

Heeseung. He was always just so... flirty with you.

Not emotionally, that is, but physically.

Leaving lingering touches on your thigh during Bible study, whispering dangerously close to your ear in that bedroom voice of his, or texting you random pictures during the day with his bulge obvious in almost every single one.

Two little voices battled in the back of your mind whenever you were around him, one voice wanting him to take things further while the other found it strange how he did such things so shamelessly.

The boy's got sex written all over him, your friends would warn alongside your Christ-converted step-sister Giselle who'd had her fair share of 'guys like Heeseung' in the past.

But you didn't see him that way. Despite his flirty tendencies, you figured those were just attributes that made him who he is.

Who you've always loved him to be.

However, those Holy, Holy, God Almighty church days were long gone by now, being no more than a distant ninth grade memory to you and most of everyone else who attended back then.

Everyone except Lee Heeseung, who could never shake his adolescent infatuation with you... ____, the girl who accepted his flaws and eventually stole his heart.

You and Heeseung reconnected a few years later by chance, the same day of your one year anniversary on your streaming channel.

Initially, your content consisted of one-hour long broadcasts where you'd just talk with random strangers, hearing out their problems and giving righteous advice.

However, Heeseung became a recurrent visitor on your streams, coaxing you to speak on topics more interesting than whether its modest to wear glam makeup or if kissing should be saved for marriage.

Your channel amassed a whopping 20,000 new followers in the first month of Heesung partnering with you, and its part of what led him to becoming an anticipated guest to your growing fanbase.

A dynamic duo, some commenters would call you two... and much to your parents chagrin, at that.

Off camera, things were the same.

You and Heeseung had grown closer than ever, sacrificing sleep to text each other all night, doing fuck-all on your web streams for hours, and even considering meeting up in person for a broadcast after he shared with you that he still lived in the city.

But then... something changed.

Or more accurately, your overly controlling mother put her foot down.

|Messaging| 💬

Heeseung: So we're not allowed to hang out together this Friday ?

You: Not alone... and honestly, not on the streams anymore, either...

Heeseung: Don't tell me its bc ur shyyyy

You: Nope… pArEnTs ^^

You'd say your mom had it out to get Heeseung more than your dad ever did, resenting the mere mentioning of his name at weekly church gatherings.

"That daughter of yours has gained quite the audience on social media," one womann would say, "too bad she seems to be losing her Faith to that poor Heeseung boy..."

"Such a shame," another would agree, adding to the heat-bubbles boiling in your mother's blood-

"Our faith teaches forgiveness and kindness," you defended yourself, just as your mom gave you maybe her third lecture this week on why you should cut ties with him.

"It also advises caution and wisdom when it comes to who we allow into our social circles," she hummed back, taking a sip of her morning coffee, red lipstick staining the rim of the white mug, "I'd be no better than a fool to sit here and support this meaningless friendship between you and that... man."

You internally rolled your eyes at her words, thinking of something, anything to say in order to change the subject right now.

"Well, I have plans with some friends from church tonight, if you don't mind-"

"Will Heeseung be there?"

"What? No," you lied, and not for the first time, either.

It helped you to feel less guilt whenever you blamed it on the little voice in your head, "Just me and the girls," you clarified.

"Mhm," she smiled facetiously before continuing, "I'm afraid I still can't trust you to go, though... especially not after that little stunt you pulled online..."

Your hand halted at the kitchen countertop as her words settled in your mind, "What stunt?"

FLASHBACK

It all started with a picture.

A stupid picture you got dared to leak by an anonymous tipper who offered a $1,000 donation in exchange for a steamy photo of Heeseung.

Chelbear03: God, he looks so THICK

Chelsea, one of your viewers said in the streaming chat, practically moaning at the photo of Heeseung, biting her lip as if she could feel him inside her just by looking at the screen.

Chelbear03: PAINFUL 😩

pucca_princxss: Need a tissue for your drool, Sea-Sea? 🧻

Danielle, another fan joked.

Chelbear03: Okay, FIRST of all, I have drool coming from TWO holes rn- Secondly, I'd rather just have him lick it up 😔

Chelsea typed back, a nuance to her words that you couldn't tell was meant to be either comical or serious.

"Lick up what?" a curious voice asked from the screen.

That's when your hand flew to cover your mouth, eyes going wide at the sight of Heeseung coming back into frame after saying he'd be "afk for a bit while showering."

His hair was still a bit damp from what you could tell, a towel draped lazily around his neck as your eyes unfortunately fell to the lump hiding behind his pants.

Oh God-

"N-nothing! Uhm... it's not important," you chuckled dryly, only adding to the awkwardness everyone was starting to feel from behind their screens.

pucca_princxss: OOP speak of the papi-

Chelbear03: Please forgive me, Hee-man 🧎‍♀️ ... bc I am disrespectfully foaming at the mouth as we speak-

Chelbear03 has left the stream

A notification of Chelsea having left the stream popped up in the chat almost immediately after she sent that message.

"What was that all about?," Heeseung smirked with confusion, looking between both you and the server comments displayed on his screen for an answer that never came.

"Fine then, keep your secrets... its not like I can't just rewind the stream highlights anyway," he added, just as you felt frantic emotions overcome you.

"Heeseung, you really don't wanna do that, just let me explain-"

His jaw dropped, not necessarily in shock, but with intrigue, the raunchy photo of his semi-hard cock through his sweatpants being displayed on the screen, right before his glossy deer-like eyes.

The same picture he'd only ever sent to you.

"I guess this is my mini Drake moment then," Heeseung chuckled to himself, a heavy sigh escaping your lips at his fortunately chill reaction.

"I did it for 1k, Heeseung, I'm sorry," you whined, pulling your knees up in your chair before burying your face behind them.

"Don't be... everyone already knows I'm your slut at this point," he said in a deeper voice, making you freeze once again as your eyes shot up to view the screen, almost in denial that such words even left his mouth.

anonymous tipper: worst thousand $$$ I ever spent... how abt I multiply the price by two for a sexy picture of the lady ?

yxstar3ject: ooo, but i was thinking maybe a double feature instead ? would luvvv to see how she treats this little slut of hers 🤭

Heeseung snickered so loud, you almost felt it on your skin, watching his facial expressions change with each suspicious message that filled the chat box, throughly entertaining him

"Guys, cut it out before I end the stream," you giggled shyly, revealing your full face that looked a little less flustered than earlier, "Heeseung isn't my slut either, okay? Just a good friend, I swear..."

pucca_princxss: you two need to stream in the same room one day bc this long distance sexual tension thing is so not the vibe :|

"Maybe one day..." Heeseung's voice faded off as he turned off the lights in his room, getting ready for bed...

"Maybe~~," your mother repeated in a mocking tone at the memory of your "filthy fest" of a stream that day, disgust displayed all over her before she took the last sip of her coffee as if it'd soothe her.

"Hope that refreshed your memory sweetie, but either way, my answer's no. Not with that slut on the streets and especially not without my supervision..."

“If you’re referring to Heeseung with that vulgar comment, I’m sorry to correct you, but it’s not right to just bash him with words like that,” you went on, leaning your elbows over the counter.

“Please, any guy who sends raunchy dick pics, let alone to a girl he’s not even dating, is a slut, ____,” your step-sister Giselle voiced while walking into the kitchen, dressed in athletic wear as she filled up her water canteen with a lemon flavored electrolyte packet, “not to mention those other weird things he says about your relationship on the stream.”

Despite how much your family claimed to dislike Heeseung, they had no problem with bringing him up every five seconds in a conversation.

You glanced at her through a side eye, shaking your head at the fact that she was just eavesdropping on your conversation, “That was hardly a dick pic, and you should know that better than me, Jizz-elle,” you retorted, putting extra emphasis on the first syllable of her old nickname.

“Yeah, real mature, ____… you can slut shame me but not your little online boyfriend?”

“Ladies!,” your mother raised her voice slightly, pursing her lips at the tension built up between you two, “that’s enough of this discussion…”

You noticed the way your mother’s eyes lingered on your step sister for a moment, “And where do you think you’re going?”

“To the gym,” she answered shortly, walking past your mom and out of the kitchen with haste.

You scoffed out loud, “Not gonna interrogate her like you did to me?,” you said, laughing as if humored when it was really just a way to mask how irritated you were.

“No,” your mom said with a delayed reply, “Giselle is not my blood… I must take her word for what she says to avoid conflict with your step-father… you, on the other hand, will—”

“—abide by your rules… got it,” you finished for her, knowing better than to continue going back and forth with her in this matter.

You left the kitchen, going up to your room and plopping yourself on the bed, staring at the ceiling as you entered into a deep thinking space.

One in which you'd strategize on how to successfully sneak out of the house to hang out with Heeseung tonight.

|Messaging| 💬

You: So, you want me to meet you where again ?

Heeseung: Just take a hard right past the first stop sign from your place and a few steps past that one brown house (pls ignore my Dora ass instructions rn 🗿)

You: ok ok 😭, smart tho !! … that way, none of my neighbors will see your car :D

Heeseung: Exactly. U sure u still wanna do this, tho ?

You: Yeah, ofc ! Had enough of my mom nagging me all day ☝️ I need a release BIG time

Heeseung: Haha, okay then ! I’ll see you at 10:30pm

You: Cya ! 🐒

THE LAST TIME you and Heeseung met in person was back when you were both young teenagers, navigating hormones and puberty while aiming to keep God at the center of it all, so to speak.

You didn’t know what to expect from meeting up with him, and especially not under such circumstances.

Still, you had a pretty good feeling that all this trouble wouldn’t be for nothing.

It was currently 10:34pm as you turned off all the lights in your bedroom, wearing an all black outfit to ensure you weren’t seen.

You double checked to see if you had everything with you before leaving: phone, spare cash, and a well-rehearsed story in case you got caught.

Opening your bedroom window, you stuck out a leg, suddenly feeling thankful for your step-dad giving you the bedroom on the first story of his home.

Both your feet were on the floor now, your hands finding the window sill as you closed the window back, careful not to accidentally lock it back so you would be able to get back in later.

You then followed the instructions Heeseung outlined in your texts, walking a few blocks down and taking a right turn once you reached the stop sign.

That’s when you caught sight of his dimly lit side profile under the lights of his car and through the tinted windows.

His eyes were on his phone until your figure blocked the streetlight that shined in his car, drawing his attention to your face as a smile spread over his own.

His eyes lit up like you were the candle to his soul, stepping out of the sleek black car to come around and give you a hug.

“Oh- hi,” you chuckled shyly, hands hesitating to wrap around him before he pulled away, looking you up and down while bracing your shoulders.

“Hi,” he smiled back, “I was just about to text you when you showed up at my window… nice black fit, by the way.”

“Thanks,” you said in a playful voice, watching as he opened the car door for you to get in.

“Would it be wrong of me to assume your panties match, too?,” he asked teasingly, joining you in the vehicle before pulling out of his parked position and cruising out of the neighborhood.

“Wow, you’re really representing this slut persona of yours, huh?” You teased back, putting on your seatbelt.

“Mostly because I can’t help it,” he shrugged, flashing you a smile before looking back at the road, “the fans ship us anyway, so we might as well commit to it, right?”

“Righttt,” you answered suspiciously, poking his thigh before looking back out the window, “gosh, this is crazy…”

“What is?”

“How long we’ve known each other and still happened to maintain a solid friendship despite the distance.”

“Yea,” he agreed, turning down a lane decorated with flowers that somehow still shined in the dark of the night, “We’d be fools to give up this bond we share, though… fools not to explore it further.”

He pulled into his driveway a few minutes later, showing you around his place before leading you to his bedroom, a familiar sight to you thanks to the streams.

“Oh- you’ve still got your monitors and mic set up?,” you asked curiously, noticing how the screen of his computer was on the streaming website.

“You remember what Danielle said on our last live? About us broadcasting in the same room together sometime…” he started shyly, pushing out another gaming chair for you to sit in.

“You really think it’s a good idea to stream right now?,” you rationalized, watching as he joined you in the nearby seat, “I mean, I’m obviously down for it, but what if my mom sees it again? Or Gisel—”

“I’ve already blocked your mom's account, ____, we should be fine,” he smiled, “and… if not… I’ll exchange another photo with your anonymous tipper for some forgiveness cash,” he shrugged, pouty lips making you melt a little inside. "Deal?"

You always knew that Heeseung was cute, but you didn’t think it was possible for him to get any better looking from behind the screen.

“Okay then,” you agreed with a sigh, hoping that your nerves would calm down once the broadcast started.

Almost instantly, 100 viewers joined when Heeseung pressed the “stream” button.

You both began with greeting everyone, trying to get past the chat’s excitement about finally getting to see you two in the same room together.

yxstar3ject: OMFG YALL ACTUALLY DID IT ❗️ this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for 🤧

Chelbear03: holy fucking fuck, how is she so CALM NEXT TO HIM 😩

mrloverl0ver: everyone in favor of them playing truth or strip for us, spam the chat with W’s

pucca_princxss: hoon, you raging perv- WWWWWWWWWW XD

Chelbear03: ✨ W ✨

laylaspapi: W no homo wait, why's my name pink now ;-;

yxstar3ject: I took orange the other day ~ sawwy Jakey W <3

You watched as the chat box started to flood with W's and other random comments, feeling Heeseung sat a hand on your thigh as if to make you feel more comfortable.

"Alright peeps, chill out with the chat spamming, we see it," Heeseung said, laughing off some of the tension, "It's not like you guys didn't get a free show the other day, anyways," he added.

"I don't know..." you started, voice and logic trailing off as more letter W's filled the screen, "it might be fun?"

"____," Heeseung said more seriously this time, "it's a pointless game, y'know? We're honest with the fans... they already know most of secrets, so its silly to do truth or strip..."

"Great. That'll only make it more challenging for them to get our clothes off then," you smiled, suddenly feeling excited about playing, a bit of your competitiveness rubbing off on the initially cautious boy.

"Fine then... we'll do it," Heeseund said, eliciting a few viewers to send gifts to your broadcast, "I'm gonna need a drink for this first, though."

Heeseung was doing a good job of making it seem like he wasn't totally down for this, even though on the inside, he was mostly concerned with making sure you felt comfortable, too.

He left the room for a moment before coming back with two canned cocktails in his grip, placing them on his desk in front of you two.

"I'm guessing you don't drink much," he said, popping open a can of sugary fizz with his teeth while making eye contact with you, "so take it slow with this, yeah?"

"Sure, dad," you joked, taking a sip from the can, hoping that the alcohol would maintain your fleeting confidence, considering that you'd just agreed to strip in front of hundreds of people online.

Chelbear03: alr, first question heheh, starting easy !! :))) when was the last time you got upset and why

Chelsea was the first to initiate this little "truth or strip" questionnaire. Heeseung read the question out loud before humming to himself in thought.

“Hmm... maybe when I overcooked my ramen this morning?”

"Who eats ramen for breakfast?" You asked with a dry laugh.

"Don't judge me because I have good taste, ____," he replied, shoving your thigh with his knee a bit, "and you're dodging the question..."

"Oh- right," you chuckled shyly, thinking of what to say and whether to be honest, until you remembered the consequence would be to remove a piece of clothing.

“It was um... over some stupid things my stepsister was saying about a friend of mine… also this morning...”

"Does that friend so happen to be me by any chance?," Heeseung asked knowingly, giving you a look that you quickly brushed off.

"Moving on, next question!"

anonymous tipper: name the last person you hooked up with $100 donation on the line here, btw... plus someone's modesty 🙈

Oh God, you thought to yourself, dreading how this anonymous tipper knew you'd do almost anything for money.

It was really a bad trait of yours...

"Wow, just jumping to the extremes, aren't we?," Heeseung mumbled between a sip of his drink, the wet condensation drawing your attention to his glistening digits for a quick second.

How were you just now noticing how thick his fingers ar-

laylaspapi: uh oh someone looks nervous ...

pucca_princxss: mission accomplished 👹👹👹

In all honesty, you didn't really have an answer to that question, but to avoid coming off as prudish, you opted to take a pair of clothing off instead, lifting your hips in your seat to pull your pants down.

"____, what the-" Heeseung started before choking a bit on his drink, not just at your sudden boldness, but at the sight of your lace panties hugging the natural curves of your hips, pants getting bunched up at your ankles before you kicked them off under his desk.

yxstar3ject: 😭😭😭😭 DEFINITELY wasn't expecting that, oml-

Chelbear03: your turn, hee 🙏🙏🙏

Something about how frazzled your usually calm and collected best friend became at the simple act of you undressing before him gave you a feeling of exhilaration.

By now, your top barely covered the flesh of your thighs, a few commenters saying things about "wanting to take a bite" before Heeseung cleared his throat, hoping that they'd stop making things worse for him.

"Well uh, I'm not willing to strip a layer just yet, plus I could use the $100, so I'll be honest..."

The chat stalled momentarily as if everyone watching paused in eager anticipation of who and what Heeseung was going to say.

"It's been a while, I'll admit," he chuckled dryly, staring off as if envisioning it behind his sparkly eyes, "but it was around a year and a half ago... with a girl I'd rather not name, but she was a bit older than me..."

"Oh?," you accidentally said out loud, a strange feeling of happiness washing over you now that you knew he hadn't been with any girl since you two met reconnected. You're not sure why this information made you happy... or maybe you're just not ready to admit how you truly feel about him to yourself yet...

"How'd you two meet? Wait- why am I even asking that," you cringed at your own inevitable curiosity, Heeseung taking delight in how his timidness somehow rubbed back off onto you.

"Nah, it's okay... I'm sure the viewers wouldn't mind a little storytime-"

He adjusted his posture in the chair, eyes scanning a few new comments before he spoke, "I met her during my bad boy stage, I guess you could say... we bonded over the fact that we were both born in October until we eventually started smoking together at a friends house of mine every now and then... she and I were both going through some divorce drama with our parents and uh... we thought fucking would be a good emotional outlet? I don't know, maybe it was more of a distraction, I guess..."

Heeseung didn't expect himself to ramble the way he did, but he wanted you to know the main details, even though he left out a few parts for another time and conversation.

Chelbear03: what would it take for me to be that girl ? just for one night 😔

maindancertypeshit: pretty sure Hee just confirmed he's into older girls, Chels ... and ones with daddy issues at that-

You nearly snorted at the sudden comment, up until you realized who the last one came from.

"Excuse me, but what the hell is a toddler doing on this stream?" Heeseung asked sarcastically, obviously referring to Niki.

pucca_princxss: LMAO, looking for his mommy ofc 🤱 (😏)

maindancertypeshit: ayo, wtf??? so dani's allowed but I'm not?? hmph >:{

maindancertypeshit has left the stream

You sighed while laughing slightly, taking a sip of the drink as water droplets now dripped unto your thighs, Heeseung's eyes doing a terrible job of not staring.

"I say we do one more round before ending the stream," you offered, looking at the time as you knew you'd wanna spend more private time with Heeseung before having to run back home.

yxstar3ject: BOOOOOOOO :(

Chelbear03: im too pressed abt riki rn to give a damn bro did NAWT have to dish me the truth like that 😭😭

mrloverl0ver: ok ok, let's make this last question worth it then hmmm ...

Sunghoon typed in thought, just as the bulb in Heeseungs side lamp suddenly shattered, the loss of light coupled with it's piercing sound making you jolt in your seat, half of your canned cocktail spilling on your shirt and chest.

"Shit," Heeseung swore under his breath, happy that none of your drink or any glass from the lightbulb got on his streaming equipment.

That's when he noticed you shivering a bit, the cold liquid contrastingly with the warmth of your body.

"C-can you grab me a towel please?," you asked softly, Heeseung taking the can from your grasp and leaving the room with haste to grab a damp and dry cloth for you.

"Here," he offered when he came back, hooking his hands at the hem of your top and pulling it over your head in one swift movement, making you gasp out loud.

You were now half-naked in front of your best friend, not to mention the tons of people watching from their digital screens.

"Heeseung, what're you-"

He was now taking off his own shirt, holding it in one hand while he wiped your chest down with the cloths he held in the other.

There was something about the way his eyes looked while wiping down your boobs, coming off as romantic despite the awkward nature of the situation.

"Put this on," he whispered so quietly you almost missed it, snaking your head through the head hole of his T-shirt while he flicked the ceiling light on, your mind running in a hundred different directions in this moment.

You're not sure if it had something to do with the alcohol, but your skin still tingled in the spots where his fingertips grazed your flesh... just like old times...

You don't think you ever put on a T-shirt faster in your life, wanting to cover up as fast as you could despite how everyone had already gotten a free show from the both of you.

laylaspapi: B👀BS ?!?!? caught in 4k? just like that !?!??!????

mrloverl0ver: guess that means the games over now since y'all started stripping regardless ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

pucca_princxss: I think Heeseung's house might b haunted :'0

Chelbear03: HEESEUNGS FUCKING ABS RN- IS HE TRYING TO KILL ME !??!?

yxstar3ject: 👁👄👁

The chat was going crazy at this point, their flood of comments honestly being the last thing on your mind as you sat bottomless in Heeseung's gaming chair, wearing his T-shirt as he searched for another shirt somewhere behind you.

A billion emotions were coursing through your veins, still trying to grasp how you went from sneaking out your bedroom window, stripping in front of an audience, and getting flustered from the mere presence of Heeseung now.

"Alright guys, this was fun but we're gonna call it a night for now," Heeseung said as he came back into frame, not even bothering to sit back down as his right hand found the mouse, moving it towards the end stream button.

"Yeah, I think my streaming career might end here," you added jokingly, making Heeseung chuckle a bit at your words, his bright smile doing nothing but make your stomach flutter all over again.

What was going on with you?

"Who knows? Maybe we can work on starting an OnlyFans together ..."

"Heeseung-"

"I'm kidding," he laughed again, looking at your face from the screen, not even aware of how he bit his lip before speaking, "you look pretty on camera though, for what its worth."

The all-too familiar tune of the livestream ending rang in your ears, the screen displaying stats of the broadcast engagement, which surpassed any and every stream you've ever filmed before.

"Wow," Heeseung marveled, just as he shut his computer off.

"I know," you added, stretching your back while sitting, "we don't even reach stats like that in a week..."

"I wasn't talking about the ratings, ____," he returned, the room seeming much more quiet now that the computer was off, even though it's been this way the whole time.

"Enough about that, though," he started again, taking your hands in his to pull you out of the chair, "I haven't been a very good host to you this evening... making you work first thing before properly treating you... allow me to make up my lacking..."

"I mean... you gave me a nice seat and something to drink... you even lended me one of your shirts after I made a big mess of myself," you replied while giggling, feeling silly as he held both of your hands while speaking formally all of a sudden.

"Yes, yes, but I'm serious," he continued, now guiding you down to the rug lying in the middle of his bedroom floor, "you still like candy, right?"

ALMOST ANOTHER HOUR had passed and it was somewhere around midnight give or take, you and Heeseung hardly feeling tired as you sat on the mat together, alternating between eating orange slices and gummy bears.

You were propped up on your elbows, a glow still present on his face from the laughter you've shared together so far, even though there was something less innocent you wanted to get off your chest.

You were feeling completely reckless already, and you figured it wouldn’t hurt for you to push things a little further.

Besides, it’s not everyday that a girl like you gets an opportunity like this just placed in her lap.

It's just like Heeseung said, you'd be a fool to give up this bond you two share and not explore it further...

Plus, you weren't sure how much longer you could hide behind the good girl act.

Giselle was right: Heeseung had sex written in full length parables all up and down his six-foot-something body, and you'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on.... if you said it didn't reel you in, like a burning desire to explore what's corrupted.

To be ruined.

"Heeseung," you started, making him look down at you as he sat with his legs crossed, hair messy from the amount of times he ran a hand through it, "can I ask you something?... It's... kinda personal..."

He popped another strawberry flavored gummy bear into his mouth, "As long as it isn't about your period, I should be good to help you then," he chuckled slightly.

"And what makes you think that I need help with something?"

"Hmm… maybe just that way that your nails keep picking with my wrist watch right now," he answered quietly, drawing your attention to your fingers which tend to get busy whenever you were nervous.

"Oh- I... I didn't even realize...," you laughed at yourself, shying your hands away before sitting up and hiding them in your lap.

"Well go on," he urged, looking back at you with warmth in his eyes, taking off his glasses and setting them aside, "What'd you wanna ask me?"

You let out a breath, clenching your thighs a bit as your sight fell between his legs.

Fuck, did he just laugh? God, he definitely noticed your peeking... you fucking perver-

"I don't really know how to word this but..." you chewed on your lip in thought, "Sometimes... when it's just you and me alone like this... even when we're just video chatting... I feel," you looked up at the ceiling as if it'd help you divulge, "I don't really know what to call it."

He blinked at your words, adjusting his sitting position on the ground, "Are there certain things I do or say that make you feel... whatever it is that you can't explain?" He asked, tilting his head at you, just as his hand inched closer to you on the rug, but not quite touching your skin yet.

"Its a few things, actually-"

"Like what?" His hand was now on your thigh, eyes glued on your shaky figure even though you avoided eye contact, lost in the veins that trailed the pretty skin of his arm.

"When you touch me," you whispered so quietly, the only reason he heard you was because he read your lips, thinking in his own mind what it'd be like to taste them, "like that."

"Speak up for me, I can hardly hear you," he urged, almost as if cooing at you.

"I can't," you said shakily, chest expanding slightly with each heavy breath you took in and let out.

Your idea of being bold was starting to backfire... if only you could stop being so awkward about this for one second-

"It's just me, ____," he whispered with a slight chuckle this time, your hands finding the fluffy rug beneath you as your skin still stung from where he'd last touched you, "be as honest with me as you need."

"Maybe it's best we just pretend I never said anything," your voice trailed off, regretting having looked into his dark eyes that stared back at yours because you felt as though your shield had faltered, his energy coaxing your mind to wander.

"Would you mind if I took a guess?," Heeseung offered with an expression you couldn't read, but you nodded anyway, just as his hand traveled further up your thigh, your breath hitching in your chest as you felt his finger tips meet your core.

"You feel something in here, don't you?," he whispered again, "Hurts, doesn't it?"

Like hunger pains, you answered in your head, finding his shoulder as half of you thought to push him away while the other half just needed to touch him.

You nodded shyly in response, thankful that he didn't move any further so you could catch your breath, already too effected by his actions.

"I feel it sometimes, too. The aching... but I'm sure you're old enough to know there's only one way to get rid of it."

You didn't even have to ask to know what he was implying, feeling tempted to give in to whatever this urge was.

He was right though. It did ache, and so badly, your own core tearing up with a need you never intended to entertain.

That's when his touch creeped closer to your core, your thighs closing around his hand as you struggled to think clearly.

You almost couldn't in a state like this.

It baffled you how the energy was starting to change, but it was only a matter of time that you'd be able to sit bottom less in front of Heeseung looking the way he does before something sexual would happen.

"Are you willing to let me help you?" He asked, gripping your flesh between his hands as a shy sound fell from your lips.

You were having second thoughts.

"As much as I'd like to, Hee, it just doesn't seem right anymore..."

Even though this was all your idea to begin with-

"But doesn't it feel right?" he pressed, feeling his hands gently pry your thighs back open, but its not like you were putting up much of a fight either, "Besides, you wouldn't have told me if you didn't want me to do something about it..."

In this moment, you couldn't care less about maintaining that fleeting sense of virtue all the elders in your life harped on growing up.

You were simply young, horny, lovesick, and in need of a release.

Before you knew it, your legs were parted for him, your back against the rug as his head got comfortable at your heat, fingers barely grazing over your now bare cunt before he started leaving plush kisses against your sweet spot.

The ache was definitely still there, but having him this close to you made it feel better.

Almost too good, honestly…

“Heeseung-” you cried out, clamming your thighs around his head as you felt his thick and warm tongue enter you.

Hooking his hands at your knees, it helped to open you back up for him, feeling your stomach tighten as he continued to lick you down.

“I’m still here, baby…” he cooed, looking back up at you, just as your phone started to ding, "relax for me, alright?"

It was a few random messages here and there, you being too pleasure-drunk to give a damn as he continued lapping at your slick, alternating between one and two fingers as he teased your hole, only making you want more.

“Fuck…s- someone’s calling me,” you whined, propping up on your elbows with tired eyes as you reached for your phone, seeing none other than Giselle's contact number as Heeseung left your core, getting on his knees and unbuckling his belt.

"What're you-"

Your words were cut off as he leaned closer into you, his bulge resting in between your folds as he looked into your eyes and said, "Answer it."

He was already rocking against your pussy as you struggled to stay focused, his boxers being covered in your slick just from how wet you'd gotten, even though you nodded no.

“You want me to help you, don’t you?” He continued, completely aware of your stalling and hesitance as the phone continued to ring, your breathing only getting heavier as he kept grinding against you.

You bit your lip, clenching around nothing as his fingers cascaded over your sensitive spot. Heeseung practically drooled at the sight, your tight little cunt all slick and messy for him.

"Hello?" Giselle asked over the phone, "where the hell are you right now?"

Fuck.

You watched nervously as Heeseung pulled his boxers past his hips, his thickness springing up now that it was finally free to breathe.

"What're you talking about, I was just in my room," you lied terribly, watching Heeseung with pleading eyes as he lined himself up with your entrance, bracing a hand on you lower abdomen while glaring back at you, a glint of playfulness in his doe eyes.

Oh, the way you wanted to smack him across his pretty face right now-

"I wasn't born yesterday, ____. I checked your room an hour ago and you're still not here. Tell me where you are," she continued, voice cracking a bit as you winced through a bitten lip, thanks to Heeseung somehow having slid his thickness inside you.

Well, most of the way, at least...

"____?"

"Y-yes, I'm listening, just- don't worry about me, I'll be back in a bit-"

"That still doesn't answer my question, ____..."

Thud.

You accidentally dropped your phone beside your head once Heeseung pushed all the way in now, leaving a few kisses along your neck to help you calm down.

His hips were still, but for some reason, your breathing remained shaky beneath him, your step-sister still awaiting your reply on the other side of the phone.

"Call you later," you said in a squeaky voice, reaching over to hang up the phone as Heeseung started to move again, your legs trembling a bit as the nerves in your mind traveled through your whole body.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He asked sarcastically, hand following a trail from your waist, over your boob, then to your neck, goosebumps sprouting on your skin as you suddenly felt cold, your body internally shivering.

"Hee," you said with a whimper, feeling his grip loosen around your neck before he started thrusting into your walls, your slick providing just enough lubrication for him to slide in and out easily.

You couldn't even think in your mind at this point, his actions already becoming more than you could handle given how new everything was.

How nice he felt.

"C'mon, don't get quiet on me now, baby, I just started," he teased, slamming his pelvis against yours to hopefully reel a moan out of you, which obviously worked, your hand flying up to grip the fluffy rug over your head as it became harder to hide your sounds.

He hissed at the feeling of you clenching around him, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked into your eyes.

"So either you like it when I'm rough with you or when I call you baby..." he started in a low voice, "which is it?"

"M-maybe both... now can you stop trying to turn me on with your words for one fucking second?," you asked with labored breaths, feeling your orgasm creep up on you a lot sooner than anticipated.

Sure, this was your first time, but you were glad he didn't treat you like a baby during the whole thing.

There was just something about the way his voice sounded in this moment, the way he was rutting into you like a horny teenager that took you over the edge.

And he was being such a tease, trying to make you talk knowing that your sentences would be broken and whiney thanks to how rough he was going.

He wanted to hear you falling apart underneath him.

He let out the most attractive chuckle you'd ever heard at your words, "But I can tell it's working," he smirked, bracing himself against the floor so you could wrap your legs around him better, "now quit your complaining and keep taking me like a good girl, alright?"

You're sure your clit started doing backflips at the pet-name, coupled with the pretty sounds he was very intentionally humming beneath your ear.

He found your wrists on the rug, sliding up to your hands and interlacing his fingers with yours,

“Stop trying to act tough, I can tell this is all new to you…. don’t even know what to do with your hands, huh?” his said, watching as your eyes get lost in the view of his shaggy hair.

He snickered, “you can touch it if you want…”

Fuck, you thought to yourself. You don’t know why you felt the need to put on some act for him… maybe it was because you assumed a competition between yourself and other girls he’s been with, even though in reality, you’d been the only girl on his mind for a while now.

“I…,” you started with a stutter, “I can’t.”

Your fingers were still interlaced with his, but your inability to touch him had less to do with the fact that he had you pinned down, and more so to do with your nerves.

As badly as he wanted to keep toying with your head in this moment, he could you were getting closer from how your breath kept hitching, so he didn’t have much time to play.

Releasing his grip from your hands, he brought a thumb to your chin, tapping at it for you to open your mouth, “I’m gonna speed up now then, okay?”

He choked out, his own head becoming a little fuzzy as you parted your lips obediently for him, the sight of your tongue laving at his fingers being enough to make him feel like cumming.

He knew you had to get home quick now, but he still wanted to give you the best orgasm of your life.

Once he collected enough of your spit on his fingers, he slid his hand down, circling your swollen bud while looking into your eyes, your hands automatically flying to his shoulders to brace yourself.

“Fuck, Heeseung~,” you cursed with furrowed brows, whimpers that almost sounded like high pitched hiccups falling from your lips as you felt your hips chase his.

There was so much energy coursing through both of your bodies that it could charge your dying phone on the floor right now.

“It’s okay baby, you’re almost- shit, you’re almost there,” he grunted weakly as he continued fucking into your walls with his fingers at your clit, his own eyes closing at how good your tightness felt around him.

You never heard yourself sound like this before, getting all whiny just as he whispered the words “Come for me” against your neck, sealing the space with a kiss and retreating his hand from your core, holding you in place as your orgasm hit like a flood.

You were squirming so much, walls pulsating like a drum as he kissed you down, your hands finally being brave enough to grip at his hair while he rode out your high.

You could tell that he didn’t finish inside you, but he was nice enough to slow down and not fuck you completely stupid.

“I can’t even believe we just did that,” you mumbled mindlessly, eyes staring back at him as he started to gently caressed your cheek.

“Wasn’t too bad for a quickie though, right?,” he asked jokingly while still inside you, not quite yet ready to pull out of your comforting warmth.

To say goodbye to the you he brought out in this sex-filled space.

“No… it wasn’t bad at all,” you smiled back, words sounding somewhere in between a shocking realization and sincere compliment.

“Then I guess that means we can look forward to doing this more often-”

“Heeseung-”

“Kidding,” he whispered softly, meeting your lips in one last kiss before leaning back up to adjust his pants, “now let’s get you cleaned up and ready for home before your mom has me crucified.”

“Okay,” you said while laughing slightly until he pulled out of you, your legs trembling a bit from the missing fullness.

From the feeling in his chest, Heeseung came to fully accept that he was 110% in love with you, not giving a flying fuck about the naysayers who’d disapprove of your now-even-more-complicated friendship.

You on the other hand, came to realize that Heeseung was worth much more than being judged by a bunch of hypocrites, and that you now had the courage to make a lot of your own decisions now, even if they’re solely for the sake of pleasure.

”Still,” you continued, watching as he stood up from the ground to grab a pack of wipes from his desk, “I just remembered that I locked my bedroom window when I left.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” He asked while parting your legs, wiping your sweaty thighs down with your panties hunched up in his other hand.

You admired the view of him cleaning you up with adoration flooding your heart, your limbs letting themselves relax as feathery words fell from your lips, “It means I might have to spend the night at your place for a little longer…”

Fin…

♱ Thank you beyond words to everyone reading this right now! I teased the release of this fic a while ago but ended up changing almost everything that I’d originally written because it was kinda shitty 🥴 but hopefully you all enjoyed this fic anyway! Also, masterlist is here !!

♱ tag list: @fakeuwus @adeoluhh @zerasari @anonant @yaatrickyaaa @depressedandobsessed666 @woninluv @moonshoon @imjakes-wifeofc1 @heesbee @kaykay11sworld @wannieepisod @ilikekpop-c @heesoo11 @idkdykilr @seungjiseyo @nctislifue @ro-diaries @heesushiii @jakehooni @babygirlmarshmellow @jaysdze @princeseung @flowerbe0m @skzenhalove @rayofsunshineeee @wonsbaer @namdeyuoi @tasnim10 @cheruluv @squoxle @nikisvanillaccola @wonbinisbabygurl @addictedtohobi @yourmomscuntis2tighy @ashgonedash

[leilanihours]

🎵alright i’m indulging in this

“two headlights shine through a sleepless night and i will, get you alone”

treacherous by taylor swift

congrats on 1k !!!!!!

# TWO HEADLIGHTS SHINE THROUGH A SLEEPLESS NIGHT, AND I WILL GET YOU ALONE

pairing: azzi fudd x reader

word count: 541

warnings: none !

summary: azzi wants her well-deserved alone time with her girl.

⭑ from lani: my first azzi fic kinda nervous 😅 hopefully i did her justice 🫶

celly masterlist !

main masterlist !

AZZI WAS JEALOUS. plain out jealous. why was she jealous, you ask? well, because her teammates had been hogging you all night.

normally she wouldn't mind you socializing with the girls, she would even encourage it. but today she was simply missing you.

the team had just got back from an away game where they suffered a tough loss, so she wasn't exactly feeling the best. all she wanted was to spend some alone time with you, but in paige and aubrey's dorm? it would be impossible.

she couldn't entirely blame her teammates, however, considering you two decided to keep your relationship a secret for the time being.

but still.

"y/n," she calls out from her spot at the kitchen table, "you wanna go for a drive real quick? i need to pick something up at target."

"sure, i'll come with," you say happily.

"ooo can i come? i wanna go to target," kk asks as she shoots up from the couch.

"no," azzi deadpans.

"girl, why not?

"because you're gonna end up making me pay for your stupid tru fru," she argues.

"okay damn," kk says, sitting back down.

"hey, you okay?" you whisper, placing a hand at the small of her back as you trail behind her out the door.

"i'm fine," she practically pouts.

when the two of you get to azzi's car and she starts driving, the only sound is the faint hum of the random r&b song playing on the radio.

you find it slightly awkward, the way your girlfriend was uncharacteristically quiet, so you try to break the silence.

"so what are we getting at target?"

"oh i don't actually need anything at target," she confesses, eyes still on the somewhat empty freeway.

"what?" you ask, "then where are we going?"

"just wanted to go for a drive with you, that's all."

"you're sounding very kidnap-y right now, az," you joke, hoping to lighten up the stuffy mood.

"is it suddenly a crime to want to spend some alone time with my girlfriend?" she snaps suddenly.

"woah," you say, "are you sure you're okay, princess? you know you can talk to me, right?"

she sighs before speaking softly, "i know, baby."

you stay silent, waiting for her to continue.

"i've just been missing you a lot lately," she mutters, "we haven't gotten to spend a lot of time together with the girls stealing you from me every five minutes."

and then it's obvious.

"ohhh," you let out, "so that's why you've been acting snappy around them, huh?"

"i am not snappy," she quite literally snaps back, "okay maybe a little bit.."

"you know i love you right? you and only you," you assure, reaching over to place a hand on her thigh.

"i know," she says shyly, "i love you, too."

"do you also know how sexy you are when you're jealous?"

"i was not jealous!"

"princess, you literally burned holes into anyone that sat next to me."

"did i really?" she asks, blushing slightly.

"just a little bit," you giggle, "it's cute, though," you say, swiping your thumb teasingly over her jawline.

"i thought i was sexy?" she pouts.

"you're so perfect that you can be both, baby, you can be both."

— leilani signing off ! 📁

[222low]

Could you do where the reader is Recording engineer for Haechan and their dating I thought this would be cute 😭❤️

haechan scenario ❤︎₊ ⊹

you're a recording engineer for haechan, who also happens to be your boyfriend

content: fluff, coworkers + lovers, not proofread (sorry!)

a/n: i didn't know if i wanted to make this coworkers to lovers or just u being haechans s/o...but i chose the latter :3 i rlly liked this req thank u anon!!

the fun part about working with haechan is that you get to go to work with him. you don't have to part ways because of his recording schedules early in the morning, since you have to get up and go with him. sometimes you have to leave earlier than him..and u know how clingy haechan would get. begging u to stay in bed with him, giving u soft kisses, but you would always tell him you had to go set up the studio. you would literally see him in the next hour, he just couldn't bare to see you go.

you loved to see tired haechan walk into the studio. of course it was a sight you were used to, but seeing his face light up when he saw you made you smile.

haechan always tries his hardest to impress you when you're in the studio, especially since you're the one giving him direction on what to do.

loves it when you're praising him on his voice (which is a lot). it helps him do better, so he says. you can always see him blushing when he's staring at you, listening contently, which makes you blush (what a bunch of lovebirds..).

goofing around in the studio happens when you're with haechan...he'll whisper things into the mic to make you laugh, look at you when he's singing romantic lyrics, thinking out loud, saying he wants to dedicate a song to you in the future.

working together also comes with distraction. during his breaks while you have to work on some things, he'll come over and annoy you (lovingly). you tell him to go sit down and rest, but of course he'd much rather be asking you how he sounded, how all your equipment works, give u kisses all of your face, play with your hair.

days with haechan go by quick. he makes sure he does his best, rarely needing second takes for his parts, because he knows your watching him, and would much rather be at home with the way you stare at him everyday than in the studio where he can't be close to you.

you usually have to stay behind a little longer than him after recording is done. on recording days, you both decide on takeout. haechan leaves to pick it up, and by the time he gets back to the studio, you're all finished up.

he makes sure to praise you for all your work too, complementing you on how you make him sound amazing, but of course you tell him that's all him.

going home together is one of the best parts of both of your days, hand in hand, haechan clinging onto you, holding you tightly before you guys head home to enjoy your takeout and cuddle until the next day.

a/n: REQS OPEN! wanted to pop this out really quick...can't believe i'm seeing and hearing this man live THIS WEEEKKK. i can't even put into words how excited i am. i hope i did this prompt justice...i tried putting myself in the shoes of a recording engineer and hopefully it went well...enjoyyyy :3 i have so many drafts waiting for me but i wanted to get to this one. let me know your thoughts!! <3

[volklana]

I Gave You All

Title Comes From This Song:

Request from @whitedarkmoonflower :

Hi! I hope you are doing well? I love your Sihtric fics, they are so full of life and emotions, and so naturally flowing. 💖💖💖

I'm struggling a bit myself and I really, really need something angsty with my beloved Sihtric. Would you consider writing something where he's getting home from a battle and some rumors reach him that his wife hasn't been faithful to him?

And when he gets back he sees something that makes him believe these rumors, but it has some innocent explanation, he just doesn't want to listen and he's angry and accusative and pushes her away and she leaves upset for his mistrust and not letting her explain. And they both are heartbroken.

And then he finds out that nothing was actually as he thought and he desperately wants her back. The ending is up to you. I'm fine with everything.

Warnings: Mention of the word whore in a derogatory manner.

A/N : I really hope that I did your idea justice and hopefully this brings you some comfort sweetheart xxx

Blood dripped down Sihtric’s face and fell warm and sticky onto his forearm although he could not tell if it was his own or some fallen Dane’s just yet.

He was trying to force the air into his battle drunk lungs, chest rising and falling rapidly as sound began to flood his senses once more, and the vague recognition that someone was calling his name pulled him back to where he stood beaten and sore on the bloody battle field.

Finan was before him in an instant, worried eyes searching his face before he was pulled flush against his friend’s chest as he repeated "Thank god. Oh thank god.”

It was true, Sihtric had come but a hair’s width away from death, he had slipped and gone down, forcing him to fight for his life as blow after blow pummeled down on top of him and only by the grace of the gods, his opponent had slipped on blood or mud, it didn’t matter but Sihtric had managed to scramble the upper hand and fought tooth and nail before managing to wrangle his dagger free and drove it up under the jaw of his opponent and watched the light leave his eyes.

Finan grasped Sihtric by the face with both hands.

“What happened?” he demanded and Sihtric swallowed thickly.

“He said her name,” he rasped horsley, “He said her name and it threw me off center.”

Finan looked puzzled for a moment before Sihtric continued “He says that she is a whore and there is another man humping my wife.” 

His stomach twisted and he was hurling all its contents upon the ground as Finan ran a worried hand through his hair.

Sihtric rode in silence. Just this morning his heart had been pining for you. He had imagined the softness of your hands against his hardened skin, the swell of your breast when you reached up to wrap your arms around him and the comfort of your embrace, but now he felt shame and rage at having left you for so long that you would go looking for solace in the arms of another man.

Beocca had added salt to his wounds when he teased “I hear your wife has returned to her old profession,” and after a pause he added “Humping for coin,” as if Sihtric wasn’t all too familiar with what your old profession was.

He had drawn out to strike the priest but Uhtred had intervened before any of his blows could land.

It was no secret that Sihtric had married an alehouse whore, but nobody had ever seen the broken woman that Sihtric had fallen in love with. The one who cried at his tenderness. The one who begged him to return to her time and time again. The one who begged him to take her away from the alehouse where men could pay to hurt her and own her body for the night, and the one who had shown him nothing but love and acceptance and faithfulness from the moment he made her his wife. You had never wanted that life for yourself and Sihtric was the only man to ever see you beyond a quick hump, and he was certain you were the only person in the world who had ever seen him for who he truly was. Would you really have returned to that world willingly? The logical parts of Sihtric’s brain wanted to dismiss the rumours, but the seeds of doubt had been sown and now he felt hollow. 

They stopped for the night to allow the horses to rest and Finan arrived back to the table with a round of ales. 

“Sihtric, she has never so much as looked at another man in the years since you wed,” Uhtred tried to reassure but he knew his words were falling on deaf ears, despite Osferth and Finan’s agreement. 

Sihtric merely sat sullen, staring at his drink.

“Where is the Sihtric who begged me to allow him to marry his love? He would not have crumbled now by the words of a few others.”

“It is different now,” Sihtric sighed, taking a long gulp of his ale.

“Sihtric,” Finan tried softly “I have never seen y/n look at anyone the way she looks at you. It is like you are the only person that matters in any room she is in, and you know this. You don’t want to listen to us now but I know that you know this.”

Sihtric’s heart fluttered because he wanted to believe Finan, he wanted to believe you, but deep inside he had always carried a burning fear that he was never enough for you.

He had enough of Uhtred and Finan trying to placate him, so with his drink in hand he made his way toward the one person he believed would be honest with him, Beocca.

“Sihtric,” he sighed “I said what I said in jest. To tease. I don’t believe a word of it so I assumed you would not either.”

“I need to know what’s being said,” Sihtric sighed, collapsing down opposite him and Beocca eyed him suspiciously.

“What good will it do to listen to idle gossip?” 

“I need to know!” Sihtric urged.

Beocca sighed a long, drawn out sigh before he nodded and began, “She has been seen with the blacksmith's son.”

“Where?” Sihtric demanded, and Beocca took an intake of break.

“Both going into his quarters and- and in your home.”

Sihtric looked crestfallen and then absolutely furious, as he contemplated that you might have had another man in the home he had provided for you.

“I do believe that there is a reasonable explanation,” Beocca offered and Sihtric spat, “Yes, that my wife is a whore.” 

The ride back to Winchester usually filled Sihtric’s heart with excitement but this time he wished the ride would never end. 

His heart was broken, so much so that last night he felt like he would die, silent tears and violent sobs wracked him in the room he shared with Finan but if the Irishman heard he at least pretended that he didn’t, and for this Sihtric was grateful.

Usually, Sihtric would be stopping and swooping to pick up every wild flower that he deemed perfect to put into the bouquet he would present sheepishly to you when he swooped you up into his arms- but not today.

He paused at the door, not ready to face the storm that was waiting inside, but then his heart sank to his toes, pressing his ear to the door he could hear you laughing softly inside. 

He pressed his forehead against the cool wood of the door, his palms resting against the rough grain either side of his head and he shook, listening to your beautiful voice inside blissfully unaware that he was coming in to blow your whole life apart and then red hot fury overtook him when he heard the voice of a man. He turned on his heel and made his way to the alehouse where he drank until he was almost stupid and by the time he returned home the sun had set and his home was silent. 

“Sihtric!” you exclaimed voice full of surprise and joy as you ran to greet him,throwing your arms around him and placing a kiss against his temple, glee slowly slipping from your expression as he went rigid in your arms, and refused to kiss you back, and the unmistakable scent of ale filled your senses.

“What is it my love? Are you hurt?” you asked slowly, taking a step back to examine his hardened expression.

“Is it true?” he asked, face and voice devoid of any emotion “You and the blacksmith’s son, is it true?”

“The blacksmith’s son?” you questioned as your heart began to thump in your chest. 

“Is it true that after everything I have given you, you are humping the blacksmith's son for coin, here, under my roof. The very roof I put over your head.”

“Sihtric,” you cried, taking a step toward him, only to have him step away from you, “Months…Months you’ve been gone. Leaving me here alone and this is what you return and accuse me of? This is your opinion of me?”

“It is what half the men believe. You have been seen. I cannot  believe that if you were to return to your old ways, you would do so with such little care for me, for us.”

“Return to my old ways?” you shrieked “Because no matter what fine dresses I wear, or how much I show you that I love you and only you, underneath it all I will only ever be an alehouse whore to you is it?” 

“I took you from that life,” Sihtric spat, “I gave you everything, all I asked in return was that you loved me, that you kept your vows to me.”

“And I have,” you cried but he refused to meet your gaze so you turned on your heel, and began rummaging through a cupboard in the kitchen before returning with a leather pouch, in your shaking hands.

“You wanted to know what I was doing with Eadwyn, here. I wanted it to be a surprise,” tears were in your eyes as you thrusted the pouch into his hands “I had it made so that you would always have a piece of us wherever you went, but now…now it is tainted.” 

Sihtric opened the pouch to find a silver dagger inside, the blade was forged in steel with a sharp, tapering edge, that almost gleamed in the light. The hilt of the dagger was inlaid with intricate, interwoven patterns and embedded in the decorative pommel was a red gem that Sihtric would have recognised anywhere. It had been his wedding present to you, a beautiful necklace that you had worn on the day you made your vows.

Sihtric’s eyes were glazed with tears as he looked at you trying to form words but coming up short. 

“How did you afford this?” he gasped, and you laughed spitefully.

“I did not hump him,” you spat. “You want to know why he has been coming here at night? In exchange for him making this for you, I have been teaching him to read. He comes here after working in the forge all day and I teach him to read. He wishes to be a commander in Alfred’s fleet, and the king will not allow anyone unable to read to do so.”

“Y/n?” he cried mismatched eyes searching your own ones desperately.

But you put your hands up to prevent him taking another step towards you.

“You think you saved me, Sihtric Kjartansson? But I chose you. You think you were the first to profess love to me? To wish to take my hand in marriage, you were not. But. I. Chose. You. I gave you all. All the best parts of me. All the parts I saved only for you, because I loved you, I wanted to be loved by you, but now you have ripped my heart out and I have nothing left to give you.”

He tried to take another step toward you but you ducked past him storming out the door and slamming it closed behind you. 

It was well past midnight when you found yourself pounding on the door of the nunnery, tears streaming down your face, as Hild scooped you into your embrace and pulled you to her in an all encompassing hug.

You cried yourself to sleep on the tiny straw bed and it felt like a darkness had swallowed you whole. 

For weeks now Sihtric had been going out of his mind. Weight was dropping from his bones because he simply could not eat. Sleep was a concept he simply could not remember and despite never having felt so drained in all his life he could not rest.

Finan and Uhtred had tried their best to pull him from his sadness but he simply could not speak. He had completely retreated within, somewhere that his friends could not find him and pluck him from.

Osferth would never tell his friends this but there was a night where he physically held Sihtric in his arms after he arrived to find him crumpled over in pain on the floor. He was falling apart without you and it was all his own doing.

He didn’t even give you the chance to explain.

He had already made his mind up before he even asked you for an explanation.

And he would never forget the wild look in your eyes as you fell out of love with him.

Osferth burst into the alehouse where Sihtric was sipping on a tankard of ale with Finan and Uhtred, a piece of parchment in hand.

“She is with Hild,” he announced and Sihtric was rising quicker than a bolt of lightning, “Ready the horses,” he commanded and his friends were also springing into action.

Hild stood firm, arms folded across her chest, refusing to move aside and Sihtric rounded on her tears pooling in his eyes “Please. Please Hild I have to try make this right. I have to try.”

She reluctantly moved aside and sighed “She is in the orchard.”

Sihtric spotted you before you saw him, you looked utterly worn out. The skin around your eyes was red from crying and his stomach churned with the guilt that he had put the tears in your eyes. 

“Y/n,” he tried weakly and you dropped the apron of apples you had gathered in shock, face contorting in pain when you saw him before you.

“How can I ever begin to make up for this y/n?” he begged and you shook your head as a single tear slipped down your cheek.

“I don’t think you can Sihtric,” you cried and he gasped a sob.

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”

“Can’t you see what you’ve done?” you cried “You reduced me to nothing but a whore in your mind and heart because of some stupid lies and speculation. You didn’t even offer me the grace to explain myself because you have already decided that I can never be anything more than my past. How can I ever forget that? I can accept being a whore to everyone else Sihtric but for all these years I always believed I was more to you.”

“I let my insecurities lead my judgement,” he cried “All this time I could never believe that someone as beautiful as you chose me. I have always thought you deserved better than I could ever give, I was too blinded by my own fears and shortcomings to think clearly. But for all of that I am here before you begging you to love me again. I can’t be without you, life is unbearable without you.”

“You’ve shattered my heart, Sihtric. I don’t know if I can allow myself to love again, it is too painful, I won't live the rest of my life knowing you think I cannot be trusted when all I have ever done is be a faithful wife to you.” 

Sihtric shook his head wildly, grasping your hands, heart breaking when you snatched them back.

“I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that I am not this man who has hurt you, mistreated you and made you cry. I love you more than anything on this earth. Allow me to rebuild our trust, because I will never doubt you another day again as long as there is breath in my lungs. And maybe..Maybe in time you could find your way to love me again.”

“I never stopped loving you,” you whispered “It is you who abandoned me.”

Sihtric had enough of distance and pulled you to him in a crushing embrace, relieved when you allowed him to scoop you closer, your head falling upon his shoulder as he wrapped his fingers up in your hair. 

Your tears felt warm as they fell on his forearms and he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling that all familiar scent of home.

“Can you love me again?” he pleaded in a soft whisper against your skin, and you nodded gently in his arms.

“I will never doubt you another day of my life,” he promised, pressing a kiss to your hair, and then cupping your face in his hands he rested his forehead against yours “I promise to never take you or our love for granted again.” he vowed and you nodded in his hands.

“Believe me when I say, you are the only man I have ever loved, and I will never leave you for another. I am yours and I give you all, there is no room for another.”

Sihtric had to accept the fact that he had to believe what you were telling him now, he had allowed his insecurities to pull you apart once before. But never again.

The weight of both of your pasts would slowly ease. There would surely be more challenges to come and times where love would be tested and strained But never again would your trust in one another waver or the commitment and vows you made to one another. 

And with Sihtric in your arms sleeping soundly you could finally release the heaviness you had been carrying since you had left Winchester in disgrace of your past, and your husband’s accusations. 

Tagging: @canyonmoon-2@sihtricfedaraaahvicius@whitedarkmoonflower@shamrockqueen@thenameswinter99@foxyanon@acdassenza@thatawkwardlittlefangirl @gemini-mama

[spreadyovrwings]

Honey, I Can Feel Your Pain

A late night heart-to-heart before the end of the world. Or, two idiots try to talk about their feelings but they’re both demons and not very good at it.

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: my writing/me trying to navigate a complicated character, i cringe therefore i am

A/N: literally just ignore me lol i wanted to see if i could write Alastor well so this is something of a personal challenge and a warm up for me (and i’m obsessed with him) so hopefully i’ve done him justice. there’ll be a part two if anyone wants one!

//

Chapter One

The door to Alastor’s studio was always locked to everyone but you. You weren’t sure how he did it. He was a complete technophobe, so a hidden camera was out of the question. Perhaps he’d cast some sort of spell or could sense you coming. You weren’t sure. All you knew was that if you needed to see him, and Alastor permitted it, his door was always open.

That night, the radio tower was dark and still, the only sound a slow, jazzy number sent oozing over the city and into people’s homes.

You found Alastor at his sound desk, one long finger poised idly on a bakelite dial, as if debating whether to alter the sound his tower produced. His ever-present smile was fixed in place but his lips were closed, his deep red eyes focused.

You tapped your foot against the floor, once, twice, three times, announcing your presence as gently as you could so as not to disturb him too abruptly. It didn’t matter that Alastor had to let you in in the first place, it always seemed impolite to come barging in.

He didn’t look up as you approached but you could tell you had his attention, and when you put your hand on the back of the chair next to his, a question, he answered with a short nod.

“Are you alright?”

Alastor barely moved, his eyes fixed on the glowing buttons and dials in front of him.

“Fine, fine.”

He spoke faintly, airily, with no hint of static, as if he were lost in thought. You couldn’t help feeling like you’d interrupted a private moment.

“It’s just you’ve been locked away in your room for days now.”

“Hard at work! Nothing more.”

As if to prove a point, Alastor wrapped his long fingers around the dial and adjusted the volume, then slid his fingers along the desk to conjure up the next song.

This tune was a lot more uptempo. It wasn’t like Alastor to be so sloppy, you must really have caught him off-guard.

Alastor seemed to realise his mistake too. He turned to you, leaning back in his chair, exuding a confidence and poise that many envied and few saw through.

“Is there something I can help you with, my dear?”

His attention was yours. Too late to go back now.

“You’ve been quiet ever since Charlie came back from Heaven.”

“Well, I-”

“And you don’t go quiet,” you pressed on, refusing to let him chart the course of your conversion. “So what’s wrong?”

The two halves of his face told two different stories. Alastor’s eyes were fiery and guarded, he didn’t like being questioned but you’d cornered him. Below, his smile stretched his skin. You wondered if it hurt.

“I’ve been reviewing the situation,” he said after a thoughtful pause, every word considered and weighed.

“You’ve missed dinner four nights in a row for that? I made all your favourites to try and entice you down, you know.”

Alastor hummed. He wasn’t listening.

“Do you know, for almost one hundred years, I have lived here quite happily. I’ve carved out a nice little niche for myself. And then the princess started getting bright ideas…”

Alastor’s long fingers danced over the faders again but he didn’t move any of them. It seemed to be the habit of a lifetime. Two lifetimes.

“The angels… Unsettled me. And you’re quite right, I don’t get unsettled. It required meditation.”

“The angels unnerved you?”

“Unsettled. But I suppose there’s not much point arguing over semantics. Either way, the result n’est pas bon, cher.”

“What did they say that unsettled you?”

One of Alastor’s ears flicked in irritation. It was a rare thing for him to give away even that much. It was a particular kind of personal hell, for him to have a body that could betray him so visibly. He could rattle everyone with his big grin, he could even hide pain behind walled eyes, but the attributes given to him, gifted to him, shackled to him, when he fell, weren't so easy to control.

“It’s not quite that simple, my dear. The angels are all bluster and hollow virtues. I care very little about what they have to say, the self-righteous...”

He took a breath.

“But then they halved the time till the next Extermination. It’s of little consequence to me. They’re clever enough to leave me alone most of the time and if any angels do try their luck, well, they’re quietly done away with. Plus, it’s just plain old good sport to watch the show.”

You smiled.

“Might have to disagree with you there, handsome.”

Alastor laughed humourlessly, a dry, sharp sound like a bow pulled roughly against violin strings.

“That’s just it, I might too. The issue is… Now it’s only a few weeks away…”

The song changed. Low, smooth, like sand through an hourglass, a single trumpet groaned into life, filling the room before disintegrating and travelling along the airwaves. Was it a distraction? Was Alastor struggling to hold his focus? Who knew? Maybe not even him.

“Alastor,” You leaned forward in your chair, undeterred by his hesitancy. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze slowly slid to you. The close-mouthed smile was back. It was the closest he ever came, or ever could come, to relaxing his expression completely.

“It usually doesn’t bother me,” Alastor murmured, his words barely audible over crackling static.

You frowned.

“But this time it did?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Alastor’s nose wrinkled.

“Because before, I didn’t have you. It was easier. I’ve never relied on anyone or had anyone relying on me. Now there’s the hotel, its inhabitants…”

You remedied the sting with a vacant smile of your own.

“When you say ‘you’, you mean all our friends?”

Alastor shook his head.

“No. No, I was attempting to obfuscate.”

“Oh.”

Alastor stared at you. You stared back. Then, with a clang, the penny dropped.

“Oh!”

“Mm.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Quite.”

You smiled at his sour expression. Your own face was burning but you bravely ignored it.

Your relationship with Alastor had been a nebulous, vague sort of a thing. He was a terrifying colleague to have at the hotel, and at first, you couldn’t be sure why in Hell he was there. He liked to watch others struggle, suffer, and fail miserably, it was all just good entertainment for him. But that couldn’t be all there was behind his sudden interest.

As soon as you figured out that Alastor served himself and himself only, things became a lot clearer, and it was a lot easier to like him. You didn’t have to worry about trusting him, because you couldn’t. You didn’t have to question his motives, you knew they were ill-intentioned and that you were better off not knowing. He liked to pretend he was oh so mysterious, but Alastor was perhaps the most honest person in the hotel.

Mutual respect grew into friendship, into something more. You often went out with Alastor when he required assistance or just wanted some company, and you were always the first person he came to when he got home.

Slowly, incrementally, that trust bloomed. Alastor began to ask for your opinion. You would sit together in companionable silence, reading by the fire long into the night. He didn’t need to ensnare and trick and manipulate you, because you did things for him happily and without question, though within reason.

He was always honest with you, or at least, as honest as he could be without it endangering his own self-preservation. And you respected that. It was a harsh world, you had to look out for yourself, but slowly, so slowly that neither you nor your friends had noticed until it was too late, Alastor had bound his life to yours.

You hadn’t appreciated the depths of that connection. You’d always known you had a soft spot for him, ill-advised as it was, but never in all that remained of your afterlife could you have anticipated a requited affection.

Alastor interlocked his fingers and rested them in his lap, keeping his composure well considering the situation.

“It pains me to think of you in danger.”

You couldn’t help it, you laughed quietly.

“Steady now, Alastor. You sure know how to sweep someone off their feet.”

He’d never rolled his eyes at you, he was far too refined for that, but Alastor gave his equivalent, waving an airy hand at you and soldiering on.

“We have always been close, you and I. Right from the start.”

“That’s not how I remember it but…” You smiled. “I like to think of us as a little team.”

He brightened, his pained smile morphing into something a little more authentic.

“Exactly! A team! But what was once companionship and, admittedly, amusement-”

“Do you mean we have fun together or do you mean amusement at my expense?”

Alastor waved his hand again.

“A little of column A, a little of column B.”

“Wonderful.”

“What I mean to say is… My feelings have evolved somewhat.”

In all the time you’d spent with him, you’d never known Alastor to be so hesitant. In fact, you couldn’t remember a time when you’d seen him show any sign of apprehension. His stitched-on smile was still intact but his clawed fingers drummed against the sound desk and his gaze had been lost in safer ground, somewhere over your shoulder.

“Evolved into what?”

Though your heart was thudding in your ears, you didn’t hesitate to push him. You thought one of the reasons Alastor had grown to enjoy your company so much was that you liked to talk, as well as listen. He got bored so easily and he’d always been a chatterbox; you were one of the few people in his life who could match him in that without any sign of fear or an ulterior motive.

Alastor’s ear flicked again. This was a hard conversation for him.

“The Extermination meant nothing to me before. But now, the thought of it…”

You watched his eyes grow unfocused as his imagination consumed him. His fingers stopped drumming. The song on the radio rose by a few decibels.

“Alastor, it’s okay-”

“It frightens me. And it’s not about self-preservation this time. When I consider how our companions may fare…”

“They’ll be okay.”

“What if I can’t protect you?”

Sensing you might need to ease off, take a breath, anything, you leaned in closer, reaching out for him but never, ever touching him without asking first. Instead, you rested your hand beside his on the desk.

“I don’t need protection, Alastor.”

“Still, I want to keep you safe, my darling. There’s a… A sharp tug here…”

He pressed one clawed hand against his empty chest.

“And here…”

He dragged the same hand down to the pit of his lean stomach.

“When I think about you in any kind of danger.”

How did he always manage to be so charming, even when he didn’t mean to be?

You barely held back a pleased smile. Like Alastor’s, it tugged at the corners of your mouth, threatening to spill over into a stupid, happy grin.

He didn’t have the language for what he felt, that was fine. You and Alastor had always found a way to communicate, even without words. He’d told you more with one gesture than you ever could have expected him to say aloud.

But it wasn't just unexpected, it was completely astonishing. You couldn’t let him sense that though, it might make him retreat into himself. So instead, you turned it back around on him, letting Alastor choose how much he wanted to give away.

“What do you think that could be?”

“I have an idea. But I dread to think.”

Alastor’s eyes narrowed slightly, and you knew you were on the same page.

It would be difficult for him, far more than it had been for you, to pin down and explore and accept the feelings you had for each other. You hadn’t been able to figure out a better word for whatever it was that fizzled between you, though, like Alastor, you had a sneaking suspicion and it terrified you.

Nothing sounded right. Logically, you knew there were some words that ought to fit, but acknowledging them felt like wearing someone else’s shoes.

You couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for Alastor to come to terms with it all. So it surprised you when he slid his hand over yours.

It wasn’t the first time you’d touched, he was always holding out his arm for you, patting the top of your head, often even lifting your hand to his lips when he greeted you in the mornings or bade you goodnight. But this wasn’t a fleeting brush of his hand against yours, this was sustained, purposeful contact, and it meant something, to both of you.

Alastor’s gaze still couldn’t meet yours, so he stared at your hands, his close-mouthed smile back in place.

“I’ve grown quite fond of you,” he said quietly, and it was just his voice you could hear, no static, no sound effects, just Alastor.

You smiled.

“I’ve grown quite fond of you too, handsome. I get the same feeling.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, all the time.”

“Oh, well, that’s reassuring, at least.” Alastor finally met your eyes, his head tilted quizzically to one side. “Have you told anyone?”

“What, and admit I’m in love with the Radio Demon? No thanks, I’d never live it down.”

Feedback shot through the room, a grating, warped sound, like someone had held a microphone too close to a speaker. It was hard to tell if the sound emanated from the mixing desk or from Alastor himself, but his scarlet eyes were wide.

His hand tightened over yours, though it was more likely out of surprise than him trying to give you comfort. The tips and edges of his sharp claws dug into your skin, not enough to hurt, but it still made your jaw clench.

Alastor, to his credit, didn’t seem as put off by the admission than you might’ve expected. Maybe he wasn’t surprised by the actual sentiment, just that you’d finally said the words out loud.

You smiled.

With just a week or so left until an Extermination that would surely kill you all, there wasn’t much room left in your damned soul for shyness. It wasn’t an all-out ‘if this is my last chance to say it’ confession. You and Alastor had always appreciated candour, and with so little time left, why not say what you were both thinking?

“Have you spoken about it with anyone?”

Alastor shrugged.

“Well, yes, I’m doing it now.”

“No, I meant someone you can trust. Someone you can talk about your feelings with.”

Alastor watched you blankly.

A second penny dropped.

“Oh.”

You had to resist the urge to shiver under his heavy stare.

“You couldn’t talk to Rosie?”

“I considered it but, bless her heart, my old friend can be a sentimentalist. No, best just to get to the source of the problem.”

“Alastor…”

You huffed, pretending to be insulted, and Alastor’s smile once again looked a little more real. It met his eyes, open, unguarded and calm.

“So, what would you like to do about it?”

“Hmm,” Alastor raised the hand that had covered yours to tap one long finger against his chin. “Any chance you’d let me lock you away in a secret, impenetrable bunker?”

Your smile grew.

“Sorry, honey.”

Alastor tutted.

“I thought as much.”

“Do you have one of those?”

“Hm?”

“A secret, impenetrable bunker.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out, my dear. You’ll just have to be particularly careful. And perhaps this… Feeling will go away with time.”

You smiled, barely resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Perhaps it will.”

“When I’m right, I’m right, my darling.”

”That’s not the expression and you know it.”

//

Master List

[charlessainzz]

A request for Lily bringing you to a race to cheer her up after a bad breakup and playing a little Cupid with Charles or Carlos ??

Stupid Cupid

thank you for requesting this! hopefully I did it justice :)

“Lily, I don't want to go to the race! He’s going to be there and think I’m stalking him”, you groaned. It had been two weeks since your boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend Matt, dumped you. He was a mechanic for Williams who had been introduced to you by your best friend Lily. 

“Oh y/n don’t be so dramatic! You’re going to put on your hottest outfit and show him what he’s missing, okay!” she said as she threw you the best form fitting jeans money could buy. Unknown to you she had an ulterior motive. Lily felt bad that she and Alex had introduced you to Matt and they needed to make up for it. Alex had heard through the grapevine that the Charles Leclerc had seen you at a party and mentioned to Alex he thought you were cute. So what better person to match you up with. The plan was to somehow get you two alone but how… that would be difficult. 

You and Lily walked into the paddock, your eyes darting back and forth looking out for your ex. “Lily I feel nauseous, I don’t want to run into him!” you cried grabbing her hand. 

“Y/n don’t worry! We’re not hanging out in the Williams garage today, I’ve got passes to the Ferrari garage”, she sing-songed. A huge smile appeared on your face. How lucky to be in the presence of Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc. 

“Someone likes that idea..” Lily joked seeing your big smile. She texted Alex that the plan was a go. It was time to get Charles in place. 

You both entered the Ferrari building and noticed Alex was randomly in the building. “What’s he doing here?” you questioned. 

“Uh not sure, let’s go find out!” Lily said as she dragged you towards him. That’s when you noticed he was talking to Charles. You felt your face go hot. As you both walked up to them, Alex started to introduce you but then like a ghost Charles disappeared. 

“What the-” Alex said shocked, turning every which way looking for Charles. Then he spotted him, he got snatched by his PR person for an interview. “Sorry y/n” Alex said defeated. 

“Haha no worries, I’m not important enough for him to talk to”, you joked. You linked your arm with Lily and walked to your standing area. Lily turned and gave Alex a mad look. Plan A failed, time for Plan B. 

You watched as they went through FP1. You felt like you and Charles kept making eye contact but maybe your head was playing tricks on you. If you hadn't known better you could’ve sworn he kept smiling at you too. 

“Come on y/n, let’s go find a table to have lunch. Alex said he’d join us later with some friends”, Lily explained. You both settle into a table waiting for your guests. 

“Hey man!” Alex said as he patted Charles on the back. “Thanks for joining our lunch!”. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head as you see who the special friend was. “You know Lily, and this right here is our dear friend y/n”. 

Charles smiles and reaches for your hand. “Nice to meet you y/n”, he grins. You shake his hand grimmacing at how sweaty your palm was. 

“N-Nice to meet you too. You did great out there!”, you stammered a bit. The conversation started slow but the more you all talked the better it got. Almost as if Lily and Alex weren’t there and they got the hint. Lily texted Alex that it was time to dip.

“Oh well me and Lily have to uh- we have to leave!” Alex stupidly explained. You and Charles looked at them with confusion and you so more with panic. They couldn’t leave you alone, not with him! Lily gave you a thumbs up and mouthed ‘You got this!’ as they both ran away. 

Now without the presence of your friends it started to get… awkward and silent. Funnily, Alex and Lily had actually hid behind some bushes watching. 

“Alex, we left too early, it looks bad now!” Lily cried. 

“Don’t you worry, I’ve got something to break the ice” Alex slyly says as grabs a tennis ball from his pocket. 

“What the hell is that for?”, she sternly says. 

“Well I don’t have a bow and arrow, so I have to improvise” he giggles. They watch as you and Charles sit there both trying to find something to say. When all of a sudden a tennis ball goes flying and hits your drink glass shattering it to the floor. 

You both jump out of your seats and look around for where it came from. You look at him and fall over laughing. “I think the universe is trying to tell us something” you wheeze. 

“I think the universe is telling us to get out of here” Charles smiles. You give him a confused look. “Let me take you out to lunch in town, somewhere better”, he says confidently. 

“Oh!” you grin feeling your cheeks blush. “I would love that”. He grabs your hand and starts to lead you to the parking lot. 

Lily and Alex jump from behind the bush and silently cheer. “You are the stupidest cupid Alex Albon”, Lily laughs at her boyfriend. 

“Hey! It worked though, look at them… a perfect pair”, he giggles.

You and Charles walked hand in hand down the paddock towards his car. Just then the one person you had avoided all day walks past you. Matt does a double take as his mouth falls open. Turning to meet his gaze you give him a wink and snuggle more into Charles’s side. 

Hopefully this match made by cupid turns out better!

[spncrscasey]

You’re Losing Me (s.r.)

Fandom/Characters: Criminal Minds - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 863

Summary: Some love lasts. Sadly, yours didn’t.

Warnings: angst, hurt/no comfort, a singular petname, no happy ending (i’m sorry, i hate sad endings too but there was no way of fixing this lol)

a/n: i’ve been obsessed with song fics recently so i decided to do another one inspired by you’re losing me by taylor swift !! so hoping i did my baby spencer’s character justice and portrayed him well considering i’ve restarted this over 4 times and it still ended up shorter than i wanted it to- anyway i’m gonna close my eyes and hit post because the more i reread it the more i start hating it so hopefully yall enjoy reading this more than me while listening to my girl tay <3

“You’re just ending it!? I- I don’t understand.”

“Of course, you don’t Spencer!” You yelled, raising your hands in frustration.

You paced back and forth, looking around at the space you once called home, a concept that now seemed so distant, so foreign. You couldn't understand when everything began to unravel. One minute, you were the love of his life, the woman who he would go to the ends of the earth for, and the next, it was as if you didn't even matter.

He was always at work but on the rare occasions when he was home, he’d head straight to bed, somehow managing to skillfully evade any connection with you throughout the entire evening. The goodbye kisses, the random texts throughout his day, the nightly ‘I love you’s’— they had all slowly stopped as well. It was as if he was absent even when he was right next to you.

You attempted talking to him about it, trying to get him to open up and tell you what's bothering him. Yet, he consistently brushed you off, claiming, 'You wouldn't understand.' You hated being on the sidelines of his life, and you resented him even more for placing you there, little by little.

When had he stopped confiding in you?

The room where you now found yourselves arguing in was once a sanctuary of shared laughter and cherished moments. Its walls had witnessed endless expressions of love and happiness, but the light in it had started to dull.

You sighed, taking a seat on the armchair in the corner of the dimly lit room. You placed your head in your hands, exhausted from the constant screaming.

“When did you stop loving me, Spencer?” You whispered, almost inaudible, but he heard anyway.

The question had been circling your brain nonstop for the last few months. Did you do something wrong? Was there another woman? Did he just randomly fall out of love? Did he ever even love you in the first place?

So many questions, yet he couldn't seem to answer any of them.

You were waiting for him to say something, anything. To tell you that he never stopped, or maybe the exact moment he did. But it never came.

When he didn't respond you continued, “Was it something I did?”

He was quick to reply to that one, “No sweetheart, never.”

The pet name was like a slap to the face. ‘Sweetheart.’ A name that he hadn't used to refer to you in months. So what gave him the right to use it now when you wanted to break up with him?

“You don't get to call me that anymore.” You said, tone almost as sharp as the glare you were sending him.

He visibly flinched. You chuckled to yourself at his reaction, looking up, but there was no humor in your tone.

“I gave you everything Spencer! I showed you endless empathy- after particularly hard cases where all you wanted was to fall asleep, or when-” You took a breath cutting yourself off before continuing, “Or when you came back from prison and had a difficult time opening up, I understood and gave you your space.”

Your eyes had started brimming with tears threatening to fall. You didn't want them to. Didn't want to show him how much he's hurt you, how much his actions affected you.

You composed yourself before adding, “And what did I get in return? Your ignorance.”

When you finally locked eyes, you could see so much hurt in his gaze that you almost felt sorry for him. Almost. You didn't intend to cause him pain, but there was a strange satisfaction in knowing that he was experiencing the same level of hurt that had consumed you for the past few months.

His eyes glistened with unshed tears as he blinked rapidly, struggling to articulate his thoughts. The usually talkative genius was suddenly left in stunned silence, unable to say anything.

You both sat in quiet for a moment, air thick with indecision. You heard him take a breath and speak, breaking the silence, “I'm sorry, Y/N- I didn't know you felt this way. I didn't think my actions were affecting our relationship.” He paused before beginning again, voice lower, “I guess I just didn't realize I stopped loving you.”

Every word he uttered felt like a dagger plunging into your heart. Unleashing a flood of emotions that gradually drained the life out of you, pulse fading, too far gone to bring back to life.

“I guess being myself wasn't enough for you to see me.” You announced, rising from your seat, and heading towards the door.

You turned to glance at him one final time, the moonlight catching the strands of his messy brunette hair and casting a cool glow on his beautiful brown eyes. You wanted to capture every detail into your memory- the gentle crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way his hair fell across his forehead, and the way his eyes sparkled with emotion.

You slightly smiled before twisting the doorknob, “Thanks for at least being honest with me.”

I can't find a pulse. My heart won't start anymore.

[ilythena]

Childhood friends to lovers with itoshi brothers and they leave us for soccer then comes back to us for a second chance with like a little bit of angst to fluff like the song "right where you left me" ❤️

·˚ ₊˚ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊, 𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄.

Tags. ᯤ ignoring, sudden appearances, realizing feelings, kissing, some touchy touchy shit but not too much

A/N: YOU LEFT SO MANY IDEAS 😭. THANK U TBH CAUSE I WAS RUNNING OUT! Two things, I only did Rin because I’m not really sure how to write for sae, and Ion really listen to Taylor swift BUT hopefully I’ll do your asks justice !!!

𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 (りんいとし)

The day Rin left you was probably one of the saddest days of your life.

Your best friend suddenly wasn’t interested in you anymore. It was like he had changed into a completely different person once he started taking soccer seriously and it hurt you, he knew everything about you, how could he just up and change his mind like that?

Walking past him in the hallways was bad too, even when you both share a class and he’s always right there. You’ve never had to worry about being without Rin.

When he suddenly stopped showing up, you assumed he just moved away or found new ways to move around the school to stop seeing you.

But obviously that wasn’t the case when he was at your doorstep, drenched in rain on a Saturday night.

“Wha-“ “please let me in. It’s cold.” He shoves his wet body through yours and you look at him as if he had 3 heads. “Hold on. What the fuck? Rin.” You say as he makes his way to your bathroom. “Do you still have my clothes over here?” He shouts as soon as he closes the door shut, and you’re banging on it. “Um. I think so. But- we’re not gonna move past this!” He unlocks the door in an oversized black shirt and a pair of his grey sweats that he found in the corner.

“Move past what?” “You coming in here like nothing is wrong!” “What’s wrong?” You cannot believe what you’re hearing right now.

He moves to your room and lays down on your bed, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv. You slam the door shut behind you and he turns to you confused. “What’s wrong?” He asks again, and you’re ready to rip his head off.

“What’s wrong?! You ignored me for weeks, up and left, and now you’re back?! Where were you? Why was I ignored? What did I do?” You rant. And his sudden amnesia seems to magically clear up

“What’s wrong?! You ignored me for weeks, up and left, and now you’re back?! Where were you? Why was I ignored? What did I do?” You rant. And his sudden amnesia seems to magically clear up

He’s silent, and you’re still looking at him. “If you’re gonna be silent here too you can get the fuck out.” “Okay hold on, calm down a little” he says, sitting up and looking you in your eyes.

“Uh, I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, I have a reason, it’s just really embarrassing.” He mumbles but it’s loud enough for you to hear. Your shoulders drop, you’ve always had a soft spot for him.

“Rin.” You say, and he knows he’s gotta spit it out eventually. “Okay okay, so you know how I love football right? And I wanted to focus on it more, that’s why I ignored you the way I did.” You stare at him. Does he really think that’s a good reason? “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Rin looks at you with wide eyes. And you’re rolling yours. “If you wanted space all you needed to do was ask, Rin. That’s not a good reason to cut me off.” And he feels guilty, he didn’t know how else to go for it.

“Listen. This is really hard for me.” “Harder for you than it is for me?” And he shuts up, “where did you go? What if you died? Why was I ignored?!” “I just told you why” “give me a better answer Rin Itoshi!” And your throwing a pillow at him, but it’s no use because he catches it like it’s nothing to him.

“I realized I liked you okay? That’s why I ignored you.” Now it’s your turn to shut up. “I couldn’t focus on football with you around, you made me too nervous.” He mumbles, looking for YouTube on your TV. Your silence is making him anxious, he flickers his eyes to you every once in a while to make sure you’re still there. You sigh out a “Rin” and flop down on the bed.

He looks at you with a “what” and you just wanna smack him. “I like you too. I thought you realized it and that’s when you ignored me.” He laughs “ignore you because you like me? I would have been jumping up and down.” He whispers, and pulls you closer. You can feel his heart beat and it’s going pretty fast—yours is too though.

You stare into his pretty blue eyes and catch a slight blush on his cheeks when he catches you looking. “What?” He mumbles and you softly grab his chin and kiss him.

Takes him by surprise but it doesn’t take long for him to grab your waist and tilt his head to the side to deepen the kiss. You two stay like that for a minute, you laying on top of him with your hands in his hair and him having a hand on your waist and another on the small of your back.

[mixtapedoh]

literally ran to your inbox when i saw your writing event post. may i request hoshi with autumn by niki because i like pain and can not get this song out of head for days now

omg, a fellow niki lover <3333 jen, you always have had such wonderful taste. i love the way her songs allow me to bleed.

ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ?

☄. *. ⋆

pairing: kwon soonyoung x reader (not endgame) genre: angst, break-up word count: ~1k warnings: heartbreak, death imagery (don't we love angst and more angst and a dash of even more crushing angst?), barely there plot but fuck it, we ball.

olive's notes: a very interesting exercise for me! tbh, as a niki fan, i love to cast her songs as potential fic ideas, and when i hear autumn, my gut reaction is woozi, so to think about hoshi instead was a welcome challenge. hopefully i did it justice <3.

Read

You stare at those four letters, that single word, the broken sentence fragment not even deserving of punctuation until the blue light of your phone burns the impression of it into your retina in a persistence that lasts longer than your last conversation with him, just days before.

Read.

Not even four letters he had deigned to type out — some semblance of a response to your longing that you'd attempted to sever with a knife that, rusted through, meant you had to saw at that place where you deemed your attachment thinnest over and over: a back and forth motion, a seasickened sort of nausea that left you emptier than perhaps the hacking would have resulted in, had the cut been clean. But no; to all that you had spilled before him in your text (written and rewritten, drafted and thrown out, wept over, then created anew), all he could offer you — all he would give you, now — was silence. A read receipt. All your feelings still spilling out of you, pooling in shallow oceans, sales tax. Your anger, change. A transaction in the deficit. A run-up tab, a thousand I-owe-you's coalescing in just four letters, not even the ellipses of thought.

Read.

But did he?

When you fell for Hoshi all those months ago, it certainly hadn't been for his careful trepidation, or some thoughtful penchant for contemplation. It was for the lack of it, really. The way he so effortlessly swept you up — took your wary hands, and with a smile that seemed to embody the whole of him, coaxed the laughter out of you, and then following, the vulnerable, sticky truth. He liked it — liked you — he always pressed for more.

And so you'd give, and he would take. Then he'd offer, and you'd come closer to receive. Close enough to memorize the lines in his face, intimate enough to carve the worst of you into his bones.

And then work came between you, as it was wont to do. You were seeing each other in secret, of course (could you imagine what they'd say, if all the world knew?), but then people grew suspicious, an accounting of his every move including too many reports of you. So space was needed, but Soonyoung was apologetic, and you were hopeful you'd pull through.

"I love you," you'd whisper in the late night phone calls when he'd still be in his sweats and running choreography that was perfect as is.

(It wasn't right, he'd always claim. And he'd do it again and again, critiquing it over and over. Sharper. More focused. Harder. More precise. Another replay of the same, small moment. A circle that he could never claim was finished, an ideal he could never move past. It would be perfect. It had to be right. It wasn't enough if it were half-performed, it would never signify.)

"You love me?" he'd laughing, reply. Joking self deprecation, it had began, then a spiral towards something doubtful and unsure. A while yet and it began to hollow and turn cold.

"You love me?" he'd once said. "Not if I love you more."

And what if he'd stopped all together? A train crash or a too-long sustained whimper, it's silence a death.

Could you love him still, if this feeling is just aching? Could you love him if your phone calls were never picked up and only once, returned? Could you love him if you begged to hear from him and he'd go for weeks at a time without giving you a word? Could you love him if — at midnight — you texted him that it felt as though with each passing day he was loving you less, and every moment your breath was hitched in anticipation waiting for him to come home an agony of only half-living and drowning in your own insecurities and sorrow.

Could you love him if you sent it, and waited all that early morning for his reply, only for him to read it 4 hours later and not even reply?

"I'm so lucky I met you," Soonyoung had once said to you, with flowers in his hands, a bouquet of bleeding colors, a display near blinding when you looked at it head on. The assortment was so fresh, their fragrance assaulted your every sense, and the reminder of him lingered long after he was gone.

The aroma was gone, now. The savor expired, the petals wilted and sagged. You were perhaps due another fresh delivery, and maybe he'd bring it to you — every new batch of flowers less ceremonious than the last, with fewer words of endearment, rarely an explanation for all he'd done in between the death of the old set, and the replacement with something new.

Excuses rarely beget the same of their kind, and thinness only ever tried to be better, still.

. . .

He was typing.

Maybe that read receipt was still burned into your retinas. Maybe despite this offer of something, you were through.

☄. *. ⋆

blog home

[aechii]

Heyy, first of all I just wanna say I love your writing and I really really appreciate you writing for black readers 💖 I wanted to request a kylian story about reader meeting his family for the first time, maybe bonding with his mom and Ethan if thats possible 😊 (also are we getting a second part for good luck charm??)

₍⁠₍ ONE OF US ₎⁠₎

PAiRiNG ?! boyfriend!kylian x black!femreader

GENRE ?! romance, fluff (😞)

C/W ?! written in 3rd person since i can't write in 2nd person for shit, she/her pronouns used, kylian whines alot, ethan is too mature for his own good lool, KYLIAN ISN'T DRIVING !!!

A/N ?! i luvvvv this request :) im glad you appreciate my works, it means a lot to me since i really want to make my black readers feel included <3

tried to make it not too fluffy (😞) but im sorry if i failed. part 2 of 'good luck charm' will be the next fic released after this so stay tuned for that (hopefully before the end of this week). anyways, hope i did ur request justice, anon 🖤

~°~

one and a half hours on road, and the ending of the everlasting queue of cars and headlights seemed out of sight. a traffic light suspended from the sky, like a descending black orb, and [y/n] tilted her head as she leaned forward to observe it. sighed, resting back as the lowness of her car's hood rendered her efforts futile, and instead, relied on the agonising snail-speed of the moving cars ahead.

"traffic's heavy today."

kylian responded with a quiet hum, tapping her thigh to the beat of the playing song, "yeah, bad day to go out but my mum's expecting you."

fear hovered just beneath her skin and kylian noticed the tremble of her hands. they gripped the steering wheel, as if to strangle it dead, sure that the grooves of the grips had indented into her palms. he gave a reassuring squeeze to her leg, then stretched forward to peck her cheek.

"you'll be alright, they'll love you."

her eyebrows remained crinkled, "are you sure?"

kylian gave an affirmative nod, "of course— honestly they'll love anybody who isn't me."

she knew his words were a tad bit hyperbolic, but it made her laugh anyways.

"really?"

"yeah. their dear kylian can be a handful sometimes."

[y/n] was quick to nod at that, "you're not wrong there."

in any other instance, kylian would find fault in her words and be haste to correct her, whining. yet, he watched how the knots of her fingers grew loose and how her shoulders untensed and settled with ease, and bit his tongue.

silence dallied in the car, save kylian's hums of every song that cried from the radio. the congestion had lightened and they both rolled forward a couple of feet per minute.

"quick warning though, ethan is most likely to drag you to play fifa with him. don't be scared to say no," kylian rolled his eyes after; she found their bond way too endearing and wholesome for her heart to take.

"says that he needs to add to his fifa kill count, and literally verses anybody he can," he proceeded. [y/n] would think he meant his irritation if she didn't peak the slight grin that ghosted his lips. he could never dislike the boy, of course.

"i see where he gets his competitiveness from," she joked, surging the car forward as the light turned green. the motorway is long left behind, and the distant city blended and smothered into the view before them.

"are you one of his kill counts?"

kylian kissed his teeth, and it triggered a hearty laugh from the girl beside him, "that's not even the point. i've demanded rematches and he still refuses to."

"babe, i think it's a sign that you should suck it up and accept that he's better than you at fifa."

"in your dreams," arms were crossed and he ignored her grin, looking out the window, "i'm forcing him to play today."

the gps ordered her to take a left, and she swiftly took the sharp corner, bustling streets dwindling behind them as they entered a quieter road.

"i will be supporting you— although i can't guarantee that i will for all of the games you play."

"so- what? you'll be rooting for ethan?" his words left his mouth as if they were bitter and salty on his tongue.

"mhm."

she only said that to rile up the man, finding humour in his disdain. in kylian's eyes, [y/n] was his, and only his, hype woman.

"traitor."

"love you too."

they fell into tranquil muteness as the sight of kylian's childhood house is unveiled by the skyscraping evergreen trees that seemed to be a habitual plant around this side of paris. it's not entirely big, but large enough that, from the outside, it was obvious that it situated two floors. gated and neatly groomed grass carpeted the front lawn, bright green and dotted with white. daisies, she predicted.

the car undulated to a halt, and [y/n] released a sigh.

"we're here... finally."

kylian shifted in his seat, facing his girlfriend, "yeah, we are." reached to scoop her hands in his, "and as i said, you have nothing to be scared about. i love you, hm? even if they don't like you, which i highly doubt will happen, it won't change a thing, okay?"

nodded and tilted forward to kiss her boyfriend. kylian's hand rested gently upon her cheek as he deepened it, lips tenderly harsh as he attempted to portray his words into action, too. a ping from his phone caused them to break contact, turning it on as he read the text from the notification bar.

mama ❤️ i see a car outside. stopping hogging the poor girl and come inside, it's too hot.

"who is it?" [y/n] asked.

kylian showed her the text and she softly chuckled as she read it, "you heard her. let's go."

they depart, not before kylian gave her hand a reassuring peck, and they amble to the front door.

kylian looked at her, finger at the ready to poke the doorbell, "ready?"

"i think so, yeah."

+_-

greeted with a warm, encompassing hug, [y/n] was pulled inside, her boyfriend complaining behind her as he was left behind.

"okay, forget your own son then," he gruntled, closing the door as the warm air from outside began to mesh with the cold one inside.

fayza, his mother, kissed her teeth. undeniably kylian's mother.

"as if i don't see you more than i want to."

an arm circled [y/n]'s waist, head tucking itself into her neck as lips muttered complaints into her skin. she patted his hand in faux sympathy.

they're escorted to the back garden, filled to them brim with kids no taller than her waist, and chattering adults. it was welcoming chaos, one that made her feel settled and content because everyone was happy, doing they're own thing as they gathered as one family.

and now, she was to be one of them.

broken out of her reverie, fayza's voice cut through the cacophony, and all heads turned toward their direction.

"everyone, meet [y/n], kylian's girlfriend. make her feel comfortable and at home for me," her face was illuminated with a smile.

a little voice, she presumed was of one of kylian's nieces, sounded from just beside them.

"she's very pretty!"

[y/n]'s heart swelled, and she untangled herself from her boyfriend's hold, crouching down in front of the infant, "thank you, love. what's your name?"

she reponded, full of eagerness, "marie!"

[y/n] chuckled, "you have a very pretty name, don't you?"

the toddler nodded, as she signalled for [y/n] to pick her up. arms wrapped around the small girl securely, she stood up, swirling the girl around as she giggled loudly, then began to ask her questions about her and kylian's relationship. her curiosity was overwhelmingly adorable and [y/n] could feel her face muscles ache at the undying smile.

kylian watched from the doorframe, eyes drenched in obvious adoration as his girlfriend began to go around, socialising with the rest of his family. his sister is quick to welcome her with a hug and a kiss to the cheek, ruffling the curls of her daughter in [y/n]'s arms. if he hadn't decided to grow old with the girl, he certainly did now, for the sight of his most beloveds intertwining with so little difficulty made him feel full with joy.

+_-

the little girl in her arms began to grow restless, and with the sweltering heat beating upon her skin, [y/n] unleashed the hyperactive kid, submerging back into the air conditioned space inside. she went to look for kylian, stopping at the door of the living room (overly spacious, but embossed with pictures and trophies, made it feel smaller and more homely than expected) as she noticed two boys frantically clicking button on a controller, tv glowing with running, animated people in a sea of green. decided to not disturb and leave kylian to (hopefully) reign victorious this time round.

[y/n] found herself exploring the corridors of the house, gazing into framed photos hung upon the walls. a family so deeply knitted that not one was left out, and she couldn't help the thought of her face one day being displayed with pride, maybe with kylian beside her, or maybe just her, as she alone was enough to be one of them.

she ventured into the kitchen absentmindedly, meeting fayza stirring into a steam pot, napkin draped over her shoulder.

pushed all her nerves aside as she saw an opportunity to bond with her mother-in-law, "is there anything i can help with, ma'am?"

she was quick to spin around, a smile blooming as she recognised her voice, "you want to help?" [y/n]'s gesture was thoroughly appreciated, but the question left fayza's throat apprehensively.

"yes," then a laugh, accompanied by a permanent smile, "kylian is playing fifa with ethan so i really have nothing to do."

the older woman grunted knowingly, shuffling through the kitchen as [y/n] shadowed her.

"that's all the do when he comes here," a freckled hand is waved, aloof, "don't mind them."

she slid a bowl of freshly washed vegetables, dappled with droplets of water, "dice these for me, dear."

[y/n] acquiesced promptly, and the kitchen swiftly subsided into a warm silence. she chopped them with such experienced velocity, and fayza showed her an approving smile, althought she was too focused to notice.

"you know what you're doing."

the girl turned to the woman next to her, grinning, "have to be, or kylian would be a lost cause."

the guffaw that followed was thick with expectance and genuine hilarity, "you're very funny, looking after that boy isn't an easy task."

"you can definitely tell me about it," she fell silent as she focused on cutting off the butt of the onion, "but i love him, and forever will."

fayza felt her skin buzz with exhilaration and couldn't fight the urge to hug the lady helping her.

"you're such a lovely girl, perfect for my kylian," broke the hug and scanned the face of the girl that had her son immeasurably in love, "stand by him, okay? people out there are harsh, and, yes, i know that he's a strong boy, but with you beside him, he'll be stronger."

[y/n] exhaled, leaning against the counter as fayza started to fry the vegetables that she had chopped, "i won't lie to you and say it's easy because it's not," a hand rubbed down her face, "i don't get why people are so... brutal. it's like the only focus on his negatives when they lose, but praise him when they win, and i see that it gets to him a lot."

fayza knew what they, as a family, holding the name mbappé, just like the one that etched the back of france's golden boy, were getting themselves into. a life no longer hidden, everything was out and vulnerable for everyone to see, and if each blink and breath wasn't scrutinized by 'fans' (as they liked to call themselves, but tend to act otherwise) then something wasn't right.

"that's just how the world is, dear. they're backstabbers, running wild with no inch of humanity left in them. but you have to remain sturdy, be it alone or with the support of other people. and for kylian's case, he has us."

us. [y/n]'s skin crawled with thrill.

"you're part of the family, now, [y/n]," fayza smiled, eyes lined with aged wrinkles, deepened with the peaks and troughs of the past, and still to, with what was yet to come, "one of us."

she smiled, heart clashing with her ribs, "thank you, fayza. it really means a lot."

she returned it, arms agape, "it's nothing, dear. now, come here!"

[y/n] entered her arm, laughing loudly as her mother-in-law kissed her forehead, "and remember, if kylian ever does anything wrong, tell me, and i'll deal with him."

"i definitely will, ma'am."

she was given a disapproving look in return, "ma'am? please, call me fayza, or mum, which i prefer." winked and laughed.

however, their moment was cut short as shouts outside the door began to crescendo.

"—not only are you running away but your running to your girlfriend who i didn't even know was here!"

the kitchen is penetrated by the fury of two boys, of which their ages were miles apart but would think were near by how they acted, kylian's face contorted into a frown, "it would be a curse to introduce her to you, ethan."

the teenage boy gasped, kicking his brother, "take that back!"

"over my dead body!"

ethan scowled back, looking at her, before any trace of his negative expression seemed to disappear into thin air, "[y/n]! oh my days, you're prettier in real life!"

she grinned sheepishly, "thank you, ethan."

kylian, however, found no amusement in his words, hiding his girlfriend behind him, "oh please stop that crap. get yourself your own girlfriend!"

"and you just love hating! i bet your girlfriend is better than you at fifa."

"take. that. back."

"let's see it," he walked towards her, putting on the best puppy eyes he could muster, grabbing and tugging her arm, "please, [y/n]? play fifa with me?"

kylian glared at him, slapping his hand away.

"don't touch her!"

she turned to look at fayza, who nudged her head, "don't worry about it, go and take those hooligans with you."

+_-

10 minutes later, ethan was one goal down, with [y/n] on a aggregate score of 3.

"you're good at this— like good good. better than kylian."

to ethan's satisfaction, his older brother had been summoned by his mother to help her, saying he 'needed to use that football strength to good use'.

"how the hell did he even get a girlfriend like you? way too good for him, in my humblest opinion." she knew his question was far from ill-mannered, and didn't take it to heart. ethan tend to say whatever came to his mind at that moment.

"he definitely tried his hardest to ask me out," [y/n] stated, chuckling at the ever-vivid memory of his unrelenting advances.

"he's never one to give up, is he?"

she shook her head, "absolutely not. gave him my number for professional use only, and he saw the opportunity to flirt with me."

ethan visibly cringed at the fact, "that's embarassing."

"it was cute," she shrugged, "until it actually started to work and it all went downhill- or rather uphill- from there."

ethan's irises glimmered as he attempted a shot, but took in a sharp breath as he missed.

"all i can say is, he loves really hard. hasn't loved anyone as much as you, but from what i hear from him about you, he's deeply infatuated. i think it's scary, at this point," paused to regain his bearings as the ball was within [y/n]'s possession once again, "but, as much as i make fun of him, he's a good person. sometimes too good for his own sake."

he spoke truth. truth that hurt, because kylian's kindness was constantly taken for weakness, but he always, without fail, moved past it without another thought wasted.

"and he hides how much it affects him."

"exactly," ethan responded immediately, then laughed, "you know him just as much, or even more than me."

[y/n] grinned, "happens when you spend everyday with the boy. he's more readable than he thinks."

"or maybe you adore him so much that you just... care."

silence, then, "or maybe that."

it was only the noise of intense clicking and frustrated sighs that filled the room for a few minutes. it was a relaxed quietude, one that none saw the need to disrupt, but ethan wanted to express how grateful he was for [y/n]'s presence in his brother's life. it was comforting to know that he had someone, that wasn't a platonic friend, to confide in and find solitude in.

"you two were definitely meant to be."

"you think?"

"yeah," he looked at her, taking a hand off of the controller to punch her lightly in her arm, "i see you becoming [y/n] mbappé, one day."

"really?" her voice was incredulous, "you see me being one of you lot?"

"come on [y/n]," ethan rolled his eyes affectionately, "you're already one of us."

[huramuna]

wine red, tears gold - chapter 7, end.

king aegon II x baratheon ofc

previous chapter | next

this is the end! i know i said 2 more chapters after the last, but i really couldn't stretch this into two without losing -- it is hopefully a good ending and does justice for both lyanna and aegon. only one song choice for this chapter as i feel like it encapsulates their relationship to a tee and i've been waiting to use it. even if it isn't you type of music, i'd really recommend reading the lyrics to see what i mean! thank you for following along on this journey with me, this was my first time writing aegon and again, i hope i've done him justice. i enjoyed exploring his complex character immensely and i hope you all enjoyed reading him. enjoy. ❤️ please feel free to leave any aegon requests in my inbox, this won't be the last time i write him, i promise!

word count: 2.7k

please follow & turn on notifs for @huramuna-fics for my fic postings.

content: smut (specifics below cut), canon typical misogyny, canon typical violence, angst, fluff, arranged marriage, touch-staved aegon, aegon isn't a r*pist in this au but he is still a bad person and has his vices, ofc and aegon need to go to therapy together, justice for jaehaera, awkward sex, kind of a slow burn, infidelity, child loss

one day the only butterflies left will be in your chest as you march towards your death - bring me the horizon & amy lee

warnings: p in v

There were few things Lyanna really preferred about King’s Landing over Storm’s End– it smelled of shit and was riddled with vipers, whereas Storm’s End was full of boarish, thick skulled men with blades in place of their brains, less akin to use diplomacy to settle matters but rather their axes. 

King’s Landing diplomacy was the same in a way, except without axes and with barbed tongues, dripping venom behind each carefully placed word. It was a task in itself to keep sane with the amount of people who tried to get something from her– kissing her hands, sending her beautiful dresses, exotic fruits and honeyed words. 

‘Sign this, your grace.’

‘May I possibly have this, your grace.’

‘In exchange, your grace, please, provide us this.’

It was tiring. Soul suckingly so. Some days she felt akin to a lemon with its juices sucked out, nothing left but the skin and seeds and pulp, rotting in the sun. But, she supposed, there was one thing she did like about King’s Landing. 

The sun.

It was resplendent here, unyielding in its warmth and caress over the gentle waves of the bay, orange and yellow tinge lighting up the horizon. She awoke in the morn, scantily clad, walking to her open balcony– but not quite walking out onto the landing– and basking in the sun like a fat cat, moving with the sun as it made its journey over the sky. 

Sometimes Aegon was there, too, following along at her heels like a lost puppy. It was the norm nowadays, over eleven moons since her miscarriage, since Aegon’s confession, since his will to turn over a new leaf. Where Lyanna went, Aegon followed. She held him like a child each night, and they would curl into one another– but they had yet to couple since the miscarriage, both of them maintaining a dry spell for the better part of a year.

 It was a test, in a way, for Aegon. He had denounced spirits and whores and all manner of sinful things, hardly gracing his own chambers anymore, preferring Lyanna’s. But, Aegon was a creature of habit, and always needed something to have, to obsess over as his own. Lyanna was part of that thing, but she kept him at an arm’s length emotionally, partaking in only the need for closeness with him in their bed, skin to skin– but never anything beyond it. Soft caresses, arms held together, one tucked into the other. They didn’t exchange many words during these times, only gentle sighs and hums of contentment, or nudges of discomfort if one’s elbow was poking into the other’s ribs. 

The other thing Aegon had succumbed to was food– he replaced his daily intake of alcohol with food, and filled out quite nicely in turn. Before, he’d been a scrawny thing, the bulk of his daily caloric intake being just alcohol, and the calories burned off in succession with his rigorous trips to the brothel. But now, he ate three meals, each of them with Lyanna, except for breakfast. Breakfast was still reserved only for Alicent, Lyanna and Jaehaera– Aegon would eat in solitude quickly and wait outside of Alicent’s solar, waiting for Lyanna. Where he had shown ribs before, he had gained some mass, filling in his clothes. 

Lyanna quite liked him this way, soft and plush– he was nice to lay upon. 

She knew that he still had needs, as a man, and the time he’d gone without a woman, only using his own fist for pleasure, was certainly long. She was proud of him, in a way, that he overcame his baser instincts to try and better himself. 

But, she felt guilty as well. He would try to make advances, of course, a gentle touch to her bare thigh, a kiss to her neck, an accidental brush to her nipple– all ways that were increasingly enticing for her. She just wasn’t ready, and she made him know that and respect it. 

This usually ended in him sulking to the privy with his tail between his legs, more likely than not to take himself in his fist. 

And so it was, for those months. But a whole year passed since Aeron’s passing– the winds were changing.

–

“The council meeting is adjourned, unless anyone has anything to say otherwise.” Lyanna spoke, adjusting her rings absentmindedly.

Otto Hightower spoke up, clearing his throat. His hair had gone gray in the year’s time, and he was getting on in age– the war in previous years had taken its toll on every surviving member of the family in their own ways, and Otto had been the most adept at hiding it, until it became too much to hide. The previous week, he had been walking the corridors at an ungodly hour, looking for Helaena. His mind was turning against him. “The matter… of succession, your grace. The king should name his heir sooner than later, little Jaehaerys is nearing ten years of age, and is unbetrothed. Mayhaps… we should propose a betrothal to Rhaenyra’s daughter, Visenya.”

The council looked at Otto, their eyes wide. No one breathed, nor said a word; they didn’t know how to deal with such a thing, as Otto was usually the one who dealt with it– his mind, once as sharp as a whip, was now a dulled leather belt. 

Lyanna glanced at Aegon nervously, who sat up in his chair at the mention of Jaehaerys. “Grandsire,” he began, “That is… a splendid idea. I shall send a raven on the morrow to Rhaenyra upon Dragonstone.” 

Otto, in his addled wits, had become fond of Aegon. The old man smiled, nodding. “Good, my boy. Very good. I have no more contestment– I do believe it’s high noon, Aemond and Ser Cole will be in the training yard, so I must depart.”

Lyanna frowned, watching as Otto left. In a way, she felt him losing his mind was a fitting punishment for his culpability in the war. And yet, it pained her to see him so… lost. Like a kite with no strings, floating upon the breeze until it inevitably hits the ground. 

As Otto left, one of the other lords spoke up. “The Hand… does bring a good point, your grace. The matter of succession is still undecided. The… tragedy of the first babe leaves the realm waiting.” 

Lyanna opened her mouth to speak, but Aegon cut her off, leaning forward in his chair. His hair had grown much longer now, past his shoulders in white curls, moving with him as he steepled his hands on the table. “The first babe has a name, Lord Wylde. Aeron, is his name, and you shall address my son as such when speaking of him,” he snapped. “The queen is still recovering from the traumatic ordeal of his birth, and we shall give her the time that she needs. Anyone who speaks a word more of succession shall lose their tongue. My patience for this council’s schemes has ran out. Consider this the only warning.” Aegon pushed off from his chair, snatching his Sunfyre colored ball and stashing it in his pocket. “Council dismissed.” 

Lyanna watched as the lords rushed out of the room hurriedly, each one bowing their head in subservience to the King and Queen. Soon enough, it was just the two of them left. She didn’t speak a word, watching as Aegon paced, his hand twitching. He glanced at Lyanna a few times before walking to her and pulling out her chair. “My lady,” he muttered, his voice somewhat faraway. 

She straightened out her dress, standing up. “Thank you,” she responded, looking up at him. His face was much clearer now, not addled by dark circles under his eyes, nor the constant blush of intoxication. But his eyes themselves were still tired, still haunted. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, reaching out her hand to grasp his. “For dispatching Lord Wylde.” 

Aegon huffed, squeezing his wife’s hand. “I wish they would give it up– as if this whole situation wasn’t the cause of the war in the first place. Blind fucking idiots,” he grumbled, a calloused thumb wafting over her palm. In lieu of going to the brothels, he often would take out Sunfyre for flights, sometimes up to three or four times a day, his hands calloused and blistered from climbing up and down the saddle. 

Lyanna inspected his hand, delicate finger tracing over the blisters– some fresh. “You must wear gloves, Aegon,” she chastised softly, “Your hands have become so rough.” 

“I don’t like gloves, you know that,” he snorted. “They ruin the experience, can’t reach out and touch my boy’s scales, really feel them, with gloves on, now can I?”

Rolling her eyes, she dropped Aegon’s hand from her own. “I suppose not,” she contended, leaning back against the council table. She looked him up and down, her heart still feeling a bit tender from how gallantly he came to Aeron’s defense. The sun shined from the open balcony windows, illuminating his longer curls, and the rubies upon the Conqueror’s crown. His figure was solid, casting a shadow that could only be described as kingly. Lyanna blinked profusely, feeling a long locked away sensation bubble in her stomach, a heat coming to her face. 

“What?” he asked, staring right at her. He had become so attuned to her, as they practically were fused to the hip at every waking moment.

“N-nothing,” she murmured, looking away. If he looked into her eyes, he would see exactly what she was feeling. Desire.

He stepped forward, a hand under her chin as he tipped her head up to face him. Their gazes locked and it only took a moment for him to flash her that dazzling, aggravating, lovely smile. “Do you like my hands soft?”

“... yes.”

His calloused palm rested completely under her jaw now, thumb and forefinger encapsulating her as he tried to eke out the secret she was hiding. “Why is that?”

“Aegon– don’t tease me.” she mumbled, eyes darting everywhere but upon his face. 

“I’m not teasing, merely asking,” he got closer, the smug aura bleeding off of him like a sickly perfume. “Why so bashful, my queen?”

She felt her heart in her throat at their close proximity. They were close at night, even closer than this, but the energy charged around them was… different. It was something that they hadn’t experienced in a long time. Her mind went to how rough their last time had been together, how he fucked her like he hated her, like he hated himself– she didn’t want that now. She wanted… something different. She had to take control now and reel him in, if this was truly going to happen. “You’re teasing,” Lyanna hummed, the mood shifting as she leaned forward, grasping him by the collar of his doublet and pulling him to her. Her knee rested upon his clothed crotch in a testing manner. “Or, am I?”

His entire demeanor changed then, his hand falling from her jaw to rest on her arm. His hunched shoulders slumped as he pressed into her knee, his arousal becoming quite clear. “Y-you are,” he whispered, “my queen.” Aegon’s lip pouted slightly. 

Pulling him downward then, their lips met for the first time in almost a year. It wasn’t aggressive or dominant like before– it was slow and meticulous, as if they were getting used to one another again. He tasted like orange, which he had been snacking on before the meeting. She tasted like lavender tea… it was all so familiar, yet distant. Lyanna’s idea of control slowly faded as they both surrendered to one another, tongues tasting and dancing as if they had all of the time in the world. They were both at each other’s mercy, both gentle as they undressed each other– as much as they could in the council room, anyhow. Lyanna unbuckled his trousers, sliding them down and grabbing a handful of his bottom, which was fleshy and pert now. His hands pulled down her bodice and squeezed at her breasts softly, rolling a nipple between his middle and forefinger. 

It didn’t take much time for Aegon to ruck up her skirts and sink himself into her, slowly. Their mouths parted, still ghosting over one another as they drank in moans and whimpers as he bottomed out. It was still a tight squeeze and a wonderfully intense stretch. They didn’t need to speak, they didn’t want to– both were enjoying one another’s noises; Aegon’s heavy panting, coupled with Lyanna’s breathy moans into his ear. 

They found solace and comfort, truly, for the first time in their marriage. It wasn’t fucking out of duty, nor jealousy, nor hatred. It was… love. It was because they wanted to, because they both wanted one another. 

Because they both loved each other. 

They’d never said it before, but the inkling of it had begun a few months before. Lyanna’s heart clenched as she stared into Aegon’s eyes, wide and violet, so full of devotion as he thrusted into her. It was on the precipice of both of their tongues– something that would change everything. 

“I love you,” Lyanna whispered.

“I love you,” Aegon responded.

It wasn’t a perfect relationship by any means, and was difficult at best. They could never fix each other’s scars, never mend the broken, never resurrect the dead– but, in that moment, as they truly made love for the first time, it became more bearable. 

Isn’t that all that anyone could ask for?

–

Another two years in Westeros passed. The sun was still shining brightly over the horizon, pouring through the glass windows atop the throne room. Hundreds were gathered in the masses from all over the continent. 

Otto had stepped down as Hand and taken a backseat to politics– he wasn’t in the present at all any longer, muttering of the past and beyond, and stayed near his daughter in a wheeled chair, blanket over his legs. 

Alicent had trimmed her hair short and stopped wearing green, rather, matching Lyanna’s choices of gold and white.

Jaehaera stood next to her father, dressed in blue and white, like her mother always wore. 

Aegon didn’t sit on the throne, but stood in front of it, hand on the small of Lyanna’s back. 

Lyanna pressed close to Aegon and Jaehaera, holding a babbling one year old upon her hip with one arm. A son– named Rhaenor, who had a head of white curls, and deep brown eyes. Her other hand was caressed on her stomach, which was swollen once again with child.

“I’d like to thank you all for gathering here today,” Aegon started, his voice booming through the throne room, silencing any chatter. “There has been some speculation on when the queen and I would formally name our heir. I won’t keep the realm waiting any longer. I, Aegon of House Targaryen, second of my name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm– formally name my heir,” he paused for a moment, ever basking in the moment. “Jaehaera Targaryen will succeed me as the ruler of the realm.”

There were whispers in the crowd but they were once again silenced. “We shall not repeat the errors of the past. My word and decree now is just and binding, not to be rescinded. My son, Rhaenor, will not succeed me, nor any other sons or children of mine. Jaehaera Targaryen is my heir.”

–

Jaehaera Targaryen succeeded Aegon Targaryen, second of his name, after he abdicated the crown at age sixty-two, focusing on helping dragons make a return after the near decimation of them from the Dance. He, with the help of his son Rhaenor, hatched five dragon eggs upon the Dragonmount, saving them from near extinction.

Aegon passed in his sleep at age eighty-five, surrounded by his five children and dozen grandchildren, as well as his fiercely loyal wife, Lyanna. 

Lyanna passed one moon after Aegon. 

Her dreams became real– she was young again, toes dipped in the pond with Aeron next to her, and Aegon next to him.

A few more figures approached from the darkness near the edges of the pond, white haired and violet eyed. 

[happilychaengs]

The Little Things [Rewrite]

a/n: this is my first rewrite and it's a rewrite of the first fic I've published ever. i didn't proofread because i'm sure i'd hate it but this one is less lighthearted than the original. hopefully i still did it justice.

word count: 944

angst, fluff

minatozaki sana x gender neutral reader

original

Sana was possessive. She knew that. She was overprotective and a 'worrywart' as you called it but sometimes rational thinking is thrown out the window when it comes to you. Her tearstained cheeks were proof of that.

"Where have you been?"

You furrow your brows as you looked at Sana, the look of disapproval apparent on her face as she crossed her arms. "I was out with a friend."

"This late? It's 2 in the morning!"

"I told you before that I'd be going out today, do you not remember?"

"So what? Who in the world would you even be going out with?"

You're reluctant to say the name, knowing how she'd react. "Momo..."

"Momo... As in the Hirai Momo?" She chuckles almost hysterically, her tone was almost venomous as she spoke, the back-handed insults flying straight out of her mouth. "The girl who'd do anything to even be near you? The girl who was so clearly trying to take advantage of you at that stupid frat party one time? The girl that was definitely in love with you?"

"She did not take advantage of me! She was watching out for me! We cleared that up ages ago! You were there!"

"Right, because she being so protective while she practically hit on you as I watched! If you're cheating on me just say it!"

Silence.

She didn't mean that.

Why did she say it?

Take it back.

Her heart hammered against her chest as she saw the look on your face, your eyes turning redder by the second, "You think I'm... cheating on you?"

"..."

Stop it.

Say something.

Anything.

Fix this.

But in the end, she doesn't.

Silence envelops you as you tighten your lips, evidently to stop yourself from crying. You nod briefly as you take your keys, your fingers fiddling with the ring on your left hand. "Okay."

And before she realizes it, you're out the door under the short promise that you're only going out to clear your head.

It's been an hour since then. An hour of hating herself. An hour of worrying where you've been. An hour of sobbing.

How stupid was she? Why did she doubt you? Why did she hurt you in the process?

She gets up to pour herself a glass of water, but the sudden motion somehow makes her light-headed as she grabs the corner of your bed side drawer to support herself. But then she sees something that catches her eye, something she's never seen before. There laid a small brown journal, maybe a diary, under a small stack of your favorite books that you kept to yourself.

She sat down again, debating whether she should reach for it or not, but in the end she does. She lays it on her lap as she turns the blank cover, reading the words etched inside.

"The Little Things I Love About My Sweetheart, Minatozaki Sana"

The words made her heart skip a beat as she turned the page, reading down the next few lines.

"Always love her, never disappoint her"

Oh, but how she disappointed you.

She flips the page, her eyes scanning through the words, quietly reading them to herself.

"Her love is loud and sometimes almost too obnoxious but that's what I love about it. I love those quirky songs she makes up on the fly as I step into the room, never ceasing to make my heart flutter. I love that she's always there and always present.

And then there's her honey-like voice. It has a sweet tone with an underlying huskiness, the mere sound of it making my knees want to buckle. It's worrying how weak I am for her because I'm sure I'd go die if she told me to.

I really never noticed it until recently but she has the cutest habits imaginable. She almost always have to even out her kisses when she kisses my cheeks. 'It'd be unfair to the other!' she tells me.

But all of it really pales in comparison when I see her drop everything for me. Sometimes-"

Your voice abruptly interrupts her as her eyes tear away from the page.

"Sometimes when she notices I come home, she drops everything she's doing and comes to give me a tight hug with a huge smile on her face and I love her for that."

And there you stood, leaning against the doorframe, your nose and cheeks a shade of rosy pink from the blistering cold outside.

"Y/N..."

And in that moment, she really does drop everything.

The bed quickly dips as her hands push her off the bed. Her legs practically get caught onto each other as she rushes off the bed, her whole body crashing into yours. Her arms envelop around you as her head rests on your collar. Her hands ball up bunches of your shirt as tears begin staining it.

"I'm so sorry..." As she spoke, her breath hitched repeatedly, her lips shaking, "I-I didn't mean it any of it... I was scared..."

She bites her lip as she waits for you to say something. Anything. Tell her that she was wrong. Tell her that you were hurt. Tell her that she was crazy.

But instead, she feels your soft lips press against her forehead, the three words ringing inside her head loud and clear. Her worries disappear.

"I love you."

[supercriminalbean]

Piano man

BAU x GN! Reader.

Request: I was wondering if I could request the BAU Team x GN reader who knows how to sing and play guitar. The team goes on a case where the unsub is killing people who sing from bars and killing them. Reader decides to put on a little proformance to draw the unsub out but it works a little too well and they kidnap the reader. What would happen if the unsub finds out the reader is a BAU agent? Or do they already know? I would totally love some dad Rossi and Hotch

Summary: The reader needs to bait out the unsub, but what happens when their past catches up with them. They're in extreme danger, but does their team get there in time to save them?

Words: 13.4k

Warnings: Abuse, knifes, drugs, blood. Crying, mental break down, swearing, degrading. Injuries, deaths, panic, mention of sexaully abuse and past abuse. Grooming, killing. (If I have missed anything let me know)

A/N: I'm so sorry for how long this took me to write, um also I kinda took this idea and ran with it, like I didn’t mean for it to become this long. I hope I did it justice and you like it, thank you so much for my first request. 

“I got a lead, I got something” Garica squeals excitedly, her face appearing on the tv screen, in the conference room. Her voice breaking the tense silence. At the moment, it's only you, Hotch and JJ in the room, while the rest of the team is out in the field.

“What you got Pen” You're head shooting up at the sound of her voice, gratefully for a lead. The last few hours have just been repeatedly dead end, everyone starting to grow exhausted and hopeless as the case drags along.

“Yes, okay so you know how we couldn’t figure out how the unsub must be meeting his victims will I have found video evidence that places all three of our victims at different bars on open mic night, and damn are they good I mean they are good good” Garcia explains, before putting a video up of elizabeth, the second victim. She up on stage playing guitar singing a cover of Taylor Swift  Love Story, her voice as sweet as honey smiling and hyping up the crowd before she starts singing another song. Garcia turns the video off, her face reappearing on the screen, with a pained expression on her face. 

“You did say the unsub been cutting out their vocal cords, didn't you?” Garcia groans, her face screwing up in disgust.

“Well, that is one way for the unsub to scope out his victims, and after a show like that random people will be coming up to you all night, it wouldn’t look strange at all if he watches them all night after that” You sigh, feel bad for the victims, they never saw it coming. A fun night out with friends turn deadly, just for sharing their talent.

“So if he goes to open mic nights, all we need to do is find one and scope the place out trying to find him, before he finds his next victims” Hotch states sighing with regret, knowing that the chances of finding him before his next victim isn’t high.

“What if we use someone as bait.. Have someone on stage that can bring him out, see if he is in the crowd” You look up at Hotch as you speak, nerves running through your body at the thought of the lecture your boss is about to give you.

“We are not using innocent bystanders as bait (Y/L)”Hotch scoffs, staring down at you in disbelief.

“I wasn’t talking about bystanders” Your voice goes quiet, taking a deep breath as you find the courage. “I’m talking about me, I can go on stage and search the room see if I can find someone who gives off the unsub energy” 

“Can you sing?” JJ asks, turning to you curiously.

“I can, pretty well actually” Smiling at her before turning back to Hotch. “And I can play guitar, I can give one hell of a performance, get him to focus on me, then boom we got him” Smiling hopefully at him, only for him to cross his arms glaring at you. 

“I don’t like this, not one bit” He declares. “We need a different plan”

“Well, you better think of one fast sir, because If I remember correctly, there is an open mic night tonight down at Red Cowboys tonight, and I know it's pretty popular” You lean back in your chair, glaring back at your boss, not ready to back down fully.

~~~

An hour passes and the rest of the team has now returned back from the field and has been fully updated with how the unsub finds his victims. Everyone sits around the table throwing ideas around as to how they could try to figure out who the unsub is, but nothing solid really comes about.

“You know I still think (Y/n) idea is the best we got” Morgan pipes up, interrupting JJ.

“No Morgan, we aren’t doing that” Hotch huffs, glaring across the room at the man leaning against the wall.

“Actually Hotch, think about it, I think Morgan got a point here, If we put one of our agents in the unsub way they have a better chance than just anyone else” Rossi speaks up, after staying quiet on the topic. 

“Dave, it's too risky” Hotch argues back, earning an eye roll from you and Rossi.

“Hotch, I’m not saying I go in with nothing okay, look all we need him to do is get close enough for him to drug me or something just something that we can arrest him on right?” Staring up at him, waiting for a small nod before continuing. “We get that, I give you guys a sign then you guys come in and arrested him, hey you can put a tracker on me just in case something happens, If that makes you feel better but I doubt that he will get out of the area with me alright” Smiling lightly up at him, knowing your logic and the fact no one else has a plan, means you win. It goes silent for a moment, just waiting for him to say something, after some brief silence, he finally sighs.

“How good of a singer are you?” He smiles a little. Relaxing a bit as he watches a grin spread across your face.

“Oh I am the best” 

“Do you need a guitar?” Rossi asks, remembering what you had mentioned earlier.

“Nope, the bar will have one I remember from years ago, they always have a spare” Smirking secretive at them. 

“Hang on?” Reid looks at you. “Have you sung there before?” He tilts his head at you, almost like a puppy.

“Oh did I forget to mention that this is my college town and I used to sing at the bar every Thursday night?” Grinning at them, knowing you have oh so many secrets involving this bar. 

“Oooohhh I’m going to find videos” Garica exclaims loudly on the video call before disappearing, earning a low groan of regret from you while your team all laughs at your face.

~~~

You climb out of the taxi after arriving at the bar, deciding with Hotch that It would be better for you to turn up alone, just in case the unsub is watching everyone arrive. You walk into the bar, knowing that half the team is already in there, you head straight to the bar grinning even more as you spot your favourite bartender serving a group of college students. You decided to wait for him, standing behind them stopping closer after they disappear with their drinks.

“Hey there John” You smile happily at the bartender, your voice startles the older guy. He looks up at you slowly, a grin spreading over his face as his eyes land on you.

“Holy shit kiddo it's been years, how the hell are you?” He laughs softly, pouring you your usually drink already.

“I’ve been good, missed this place though, figure while I was in town I should come and visit you” Laughing softly, pulling your wallet out ready to pay.

“Put your goddamn wallet away (Y/n), this ones on the house” John smiles, handing your drink over. “Please tell me you're going to sing for us tonight kiddo, it's been way too long,” John smiles, cleaning down the benches. Getting the other bartender to take over as he talks to you.

“Oh I don’t know John, it's been too long. I'm probably a bit rusty now” You tease him, sipping on your drink. “Still make good drinks, thanks John”

“Oh come off it, do you know how much business you and your voice brought me back then, every Thursday and saturday night this place was packed out because of you kiddo” John gloats, remembering back to when you would take over the stage, bringing in crowds after crowds. Everyone gathers around just to hear you sing, watching as you perform for hundreds of people those weekends.

“Oh those were the days, weren’t they?” laughing softly to yourself glancing back at the stage. “You know what John, I think I have a few songs still in me” You wink over at him, earning a head tilting laugh from the old man.

“Good, hey you better sing my favourite tonight kiddo” John smirks, before walking back over to the crowd of customers wanting drinks. 

~~~

You walk over to the sign up sheet, writing your name down, glancing up at the stage, where Tom the MC, for the night is introducing the next act. You walk back over to the bar, sitting down before scanning the bar, spotting Morgan and Emily sitting by the smoking door close by the stage. Your eyes next land on JJ and Rossi who are standing by the bar, a few people down from you, keeping an eye on you while still being able to see the whole room. 

Half an hour passes by quickly, only about three people have been on stage so far, their songs and performance have been average so far, nothing that would have stood out to the unsub so far. After the last act is finished the MC walks back on stage, smiling as he holds the sign up sheet.

“Alright everyone, so we have had a few good warm up acts and I have something special for all you guys tonight, some of you old regulars might remember them from back in the days, please welcome back (Y/n) (Y/l)” Tom the MC introduces you loudly, beaming over at you. The table just out the door, from the smoking area, breaks into cheer after hearing your name. You laugh glancing over at them, noticing the old faces of your longtime supporters. You jump onto the stage, highing five Tom as you walk past him, forcing yourself to take a deep breath as your nerves start to rise.

“Well hey ya everyone” Grinning out at everyone, picking up the guitar that lays forgotten in the corner of the stage. You start tuning it as you look out at the crowd, nerves from being on stage after years spinning in your stomach, and the fact you're doing this for an unsub makes you feel even worse.

“So I may be a bit rusty. It's been a few years since I’ve done this, but I recognize a few faces out here tonight.” Smirking a little as you turn to the table that was just cheering you on before, strumming the guitar a little. “You oldies are still here huh?”

“Screw you (Y/L)” Jimmy laughs shouting out at you, his table laughing out at them.

“I'm good thanks Jim, but uh, how's your wife?” Sending him a wink as laughter topples around the room.

“Okay okay, I’m here to sing so I’m going to start with one of my favourites, also my old mate John here requested this, so here it goes” Smiling softly taking a deep breath, your fingers findling nervously with the chords, trying to find the right one. Stepping closer to the microphone looking out at the crowds, glancing over at Morgan and Prentiss who just smile encouragingly at you. 

“Its nine o’clock on saturday, 

The regular crowd shuffles in 

There's an old man sittin' next to me 

Makin' love to his tonic and gin 

You close your eyes as you sing “Piano man” by Billy Joel, strumming the guitar with passion, falling into the rhythm. Your voice is smooth and collected, a smile pushing past the focus that's controlling you.

He says, "Son can you play me a memory,

I'm not really sure how it goes 

But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete 

When I wore a younger man's clothes"

Your eyes slowly open, smiling widely as you sway along to the music, your table of regulars slowly join in, grinning up at you.

“Holy shit, they’re good” Morgan exclaims, letting out a low whistle, sipping his drink.

“Well, if they continue like this all night, there's no way the unsub is going to be able to stay away from them” Emily smiles at you, taken aback with how you managed to hide this talent of yours from them all this time. 

“We need to take them out more often” Morgan grins when you start singing loudly, turning towards the table of regulars, singing louder with them, laughing as you do so. Soon your song ends, laughing softly, forgetting how much fun you have performing like this. But still remembering why you're doing this you scan the room, but you haven't felt any unfriendly eyes on you, yet.

~~~

“Okay, I think I forgot how much fun this place is, well it's mainly you, isn’t that right Harry, my man” Sending a wink over to your table in the doorway, your lovable Harry raises his glass at you laughing loudly. His voice raw from when he was practically screaming the words back at you.

“Okay so are you guys alright If I sing another song, maybe something a bit more upbeat now that I’ve found my voice again” Smirking out at the crowd, your eyes scanning the room once more. The room all burst out in cheers, claps erupts throughout the room, and that's when you get a cold shiver run down your spine. Your eyes glance straight over at Morgan needing to let them know he's here, and you got his attention. 

“Alright I guess that's my answer, seeing as I have everyone's attention now” Forcing yourself to smirk at them all, eyes glance back over at Morgan who seems to be whispering into his comms having gotten your message. 

“Stranger”

“Stranger”

“Stranger”

“Stranger”

You play the guitar, singing “Hot in the city” By Billy Idol loudly full of passion. Dancing and jumping on the spot, getting the crowd up to join you with your dancing. 

“It's hot here at night

Lonely, black and quiet

On a hot summer night

Don't be afraid

Of the world we made

On a hot summer night

Soon a small group is forming in front of you, joining in with your singing and dancing. You can’t help but grin to yourself when you hear your regulars from the table call out names like player and heartbreaker out to you. 

'Cause when a long-legged lovely walks by

Yeah you can see the look in her eye

Then you know that it's

Hot in the city, hot in the city tonight

Tonight

Hot in the city, hot in the city tonight

Tonight”

You can still feel eyes staring at you when you sing, you do your best to look around the bar but you can’t see anyone who fits the profile. You decided to sing a couple more songs, making sure you do in fact have the unsubs eyes on you, and that he won’t be able to resist you by the end of the night. By the time you have finished your fourth song of the set, you feel as if you're starting to lose your voice, laughing as you bid the crowd farewell. Promising them that you will be back for a couple more songs later on in the night, needing to rehydrate your throat before you lose your voice all together. 

~~~

You make your way to the bar, which now seems to be fully packed, almost impossible to move around. Laughing wildly, feeling many people pat you on the back, praising you as you make your way to the bar. Where John already has your drink ready for you, passing it to you with a grin on his face.

“A bit rusty huh?” He laughs when he sees you smile breathlessly at him, taking a sip of your drink straight away.

“Well maybe I still practise at home” You laugh along with the older man.

“I have always said this kid and I will say it again, you could go so many places with a voice and personality like yours”

“And I have told you a billion times John, that's just not what I want to do, I would prefer to help people than be a performer” You smirk at him shaking your head at him.

“Right so what, you're just throwing all of this away, huh?”

“I guess so but I’m happy so what, plus if I become famous, I can’t come back and perform just for you Johnny boy” Teasing him as he walks off, spinning around to look through the crowded bar. Feeling the icy cold feeling from earlier returning, he's close. You look over your shoulder but all you see is a bunch of college students staring at you smiling and giggling excitedly. 

~~~

Throughout the night you don’t know how many times you have felt his eyes on you but you could never pinpoint him down. Multiple people have come up to you to chat and buy you drinks, happily accepting the drinks, but moving on to non alcoholic drinks knowing two in your system is far enough while working a case. Truthly you shouldn’t have any, but you know the unsub is more likely to come after you if you have alcohol in your system, so you took the risk. 

As the night moves on you decide to head back on stage, getting a loud welcome as you do. Lots of young college students heading back towards the dance floor ready for the music to start once more. 

“Well hey again” Smiling widely as you look out to the crowd deciding you weren't going to focus on the unsub no more. Now it's time to just enjoy the energy the bar has created and do your best to relax. Maybe then something will happen. Picking up the guitar again, smiling at the crowd, your eyes shooting out to your table of regulars smiling at them. 

“Alright guys so I'm going to sing one that my old time supports, used to request every weekend, I swear they don’t know any other songs but this” Laughing as you see their eyes pick up, grins breaking out across their faces, cheering breaks out across their area, making you laugh softly as you strum away on the guitar. 

Uptown girl

She's been living in her uptown world

I bet she's never had a backstreet guy

I bet her momma never told her why

You smile as the words slide through your lips, allowing yourself to enjoy the moment. Watching as your regulars all get up making their way over to the dance floor to sing along with you. The song moves by fast, doing your best to stop the laughter slipping through your words as you look down the stage, singing the words back with your crowd. The next few songs slide by and you get informed by Tom that you need to start winding the crowd down as the place is going to close in 15 minutes, nodding at him knowing your time is coming to an end, you look back out at the crowd. Looking over at the door where Hotch and Reid have now entered and our now speaking with Rossi, JJ and Pretniss. Morgan stays at his table, just in case you need him, your eyes skim past him and to the table of regulars who half of them have already left but a few of them are still there and someone new has joined them. Your eyes narrow slightly at him, you're unable to see his face, but there's something about his presence that just seems so familiar about him. Morgan follows your eyes then nods at you, knowing to keep an eye on that man. 

“Alright guys, so Tom here has just informed me that, sadly our time tonight is coming to an end” You force your eyes away from the man, grinning out at the crowd instead, doing your best to keep up the energy. A chorus of boos and no’s start being yelled from the crowd, making you chuckle at them. 

“Oh I know I know, If I could I would stay longer but sadly we can’t do that, but hey we have time for one more song, so why don’t we just enjoy our time together okay?” Smirking out at them, spotting Emily and JJ making their way over to Morgan, your eyes flick over to where Rossi is, seeing him and Reid watching you, smiling encouragingly. Only then do you see Hotch grinning at you, holding up his phone, recording you. You can’t help groan softly before you start singing one last time. 

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train going anywhere

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train going anywhere

You close your eyes as you fall into the song, feeling the warmth of the love of the music fill you up. A small part of you is so excited to be sharing this side of your life with your team, knowing that they would never make fun of this side of your life, it made you feel loved already. Your eyes open again, grinning out at the crowd watching them dancing together, even seeing Emily, JJ and Morgan, swaying away at the table smiling up at you. 

Soon the next couple songs come to an end, and you're helping the staff send everyone home, including your team. 

“Alright everyone tonights been a blast, but it's time you all get out of here and go home, don’t forget to pay you tab and get a taxi home if need be, no one better be drunk driving tonight” You speak into the microphone a few time, watching as the crowds makes its way out of the bar and off onto the street. Your team makes its way out, Morgan and JJ waiting outside by the entrance for you while the rest wait around the building looking for anyone suspicious. 

~~~

You spend about 20 minutes inside the bar, helping the staff pack up, sending a quick text to Hotch letting him know what you were doing. You spent the time chatting away with the staff, catching up with the ones who worked there back in the day you were a regular. Some of your regulars were still around, coming up to have a chat with you.

“I didn’t think you three would still be out this late” You smile at them, feeling tired as the day starts to wind down. 

“Well we couldn't leave before we got the chance to talk to you now could we” Jimmy smiles, bringing you into a quick hug. “How have you been, kid?” Harry asks, giving you a firm handshake.

“I’ve been good, I'm actually working for the FBI now, so I have to say I must be doing something right” You grin at them proudly, taking in their impressed looks, reminding the last time you saw them you were a struggling college student who didn’t even know where life was going to take them. 

“Holy shit you made it, that's real impressive kiddo” Harry smiles patting you on the shoulder as you three make your way to the exit. 

“Woah, an FBI agent, damn and here I thought you would be a singer or something” Jimmy exhales shaking his head. “I knew you were going to do great things but I never expected that” 

“Hey, I never thought I would make it this far either but here I am” You smile at them as you walk out the door, spotting JJ and Morgan standing beside the door waiting for you. 

“Well, you better not be a stranger, (Y/n) you better come on back and perform for us again” Harry shakes his finger at you.

“Oh you know I will Harry” You laugh softly as you watch them both cross the road making their way to the taxi stand. With one final look around, having felt a pair of unwanted eyes on you since you exited the club, pulling your jacket closer around you, you make your way over to JJ and Morgan, watching their eyes light up as you approach them. 

“Well hello rockstar” JJ teases you, earning an eye roll from you.

“Hey, oh I am so ready to go back and sleep right now” You joke, rubbing your arms feeling a cold, given the icy feeling in the air. Morgan can’t help but laugh at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him as you three walk towards the SUVs.

“Well I have to say (Y/n) I do definitely think you got our unsub attention, but damn, why didn’t you tell us you could sing?” 

“You never asked” Smirking up at him as he opens the car door for you, climbing in. Morgan and JJ both get in, Morgan in the driver's seat with JJ in the back. 

“So, I’m guessing the plan has now changed, Hotch doesn’t want me travelling back alone?”

“Nope, plus we think he is more likely to attack you tomorrow than tonight anyway, Hotch wants everyone to meet in his room to talk to you tonight, debrief there and then tomorrow see if someone new starts following you around” JJ informs you, looking out the window, making sure no one is following you back to the hotel room. 

“Right” Sighing softly, laying your head on the window, replaying the night in your head, trying to think if you did see him or not. The only person that stood out was that man in the black and green hat.

~~~

After you make it up to your room, walk into the hotel and up to your room alone. You had discussed with JJ and Morgan that you would go in alone and ten minutes later, when the other four arrive they would all come up and all meet in Hotch's room, and text you to join them. Giving the unsub time to check out where you're staying and let him think you're alone, that is if he's watching you. None of you saw anyone following you but he is good at blending in.  

You unlock your door, walking in, shrugging your jacket off before flopping down on the bed, feeling exhausted from the day. You check your watch, noticing it's now two am, you have been awake since six, it's been a long ass day. You sigh softly, struggling to keep your eyes open, your body just wanting to give up and go to sleep already. Maybe that's why you never noticed the wardrobe door creaking open, almost silent footsteps approaching your bed slowly. The thing that does get your attention is the icy feeling running down your spine, your eyes flick open in an instance. Acting on instincts, you roll onto your back away from where you sense thd danger is. You're lucky you do, because as soon as you're facing upwards, you see him. Standing over you, holding a needle in one and a knife in the other. You're regretting leaving your gun inside your jacket. 

“Oh shit” Is all you are able to breathe out, as you stare the Unsub dead in the eyes. His face is screaming familiarity, but you're unable to place it, currently being frozen in fear. 

“Well, well, well (Y/n) I’ve been waiting a long time for this” His grin of evil, makes you lunge into action. Pushing yourself on to your feet, shoving him away. Spriting to the door, you reach alot faster than you should due to hes shoving you against it, a cry slips through your lips, when your head collides against the hook. He chuckles deeply at you, pressing himself against you, his mouth against your ears. His hot breath making the hairs on your neck stand up, fear rushing through your body. 

“Now I got you, now you're going to be all mine, not even your team is able to stop me, are they?” He snickers as the needle slides into your neck, watching as you don’t even attempt to struggle.

You knew the plan was for him to attack you, you wanted this to happen, you trust your team to stop him from leaving this place with you. That's the last thing you think as everything goes black. 

~~~

“Hey Morgan, you did text them right?” Hotch asks again, pacing the room his arms crossed. It's been 5 minutes since Morgan sent that text and it shouldn’t take you that long to get here, your room is just down the hall from his. What the hell is taking you so long?

“Yeah Hotch I did, they should be here by now” Morgan sighs. Everyones tenses up looking at each other.

“I don’t like this” JJ adds getting off the couch, looking at the door then at Hotch. Not another word is spoken by the time Hotch is now through the door. Practically spriting to your room, his team close on his heels. He only slows down to pull out the spare key card, the rest of his team, arming themself readying themself for what they may find. Hotch gives a quick nod to Dave who's the closest to him, before unlocking the door and shoving it open. Everyone enters quickly, spreading throughout the room, their blood running cold when there's no sign of you. Reid slides into the bathroom, calling out ‘clear’  before rejoining his team in the main room, everyone placing their guns away. Everyone's face has a different emotion on it, fear, worry, concern, anger, and everyone is starting to be filled with regret as they make their way to your bed. Your room is in perfect condition, all expect the wardrobe door that is wide open and your bed. Your gun and badge are laid perfectly right in the middle, but between the gun and badge is a collection of photos, photos of you. These photos aren’t just recent, most are dating back to your time in college, a couple from high school and some recent ones from just a few weeks back, just before the murders began. 

“This isn’t good” Morgan is the first to speak, his eyes shooting up to his unit chief waiting for his next order. 

“Okay, Morgan, Prentiss, JJ I want you three outside now, see if anyone has seen anything suspieces, check the carmares ring Garcia, I want her checking security cameras, find something” Hotch barks his order, trying his hardest to keep his fear at bay, his team runs out of the room making their way downstairs instantly. Dave walks over to the bed, taking a photo of how things are laid out before sliding his gloves on and picking up the collection of photos. 

“If.. we know that the unsub would have an end target, its (Y/n) Isn’t it?” Reid's voice is small, his eyes studying the photo in Rossi's hand.

“If they are, then this whole thing was a trap and they're in a lot more danger than they know” Rossi sighs, patting Spencer gently on the shoulder handing him the photos.

~~~

Groaning softly, your body feeling heavily as you slowly start to wake up forcing your eyes to open. You try to roll over onto your side so you can go back to sleep, you don’t want to get up yet. Ugh, the noise that woke you up in the first place is the back, a low beeping sound. Oh its your alarm you realised, you try to move your hand but it wont move far, its like something holding it back. Groaning as you force your eyes to finally open, taking a few seconds to get used to the darkness of the room you're in. Wait, why is it so dark, and so cold? Your eyes are focusing on the door in front of you, confusions filling you before you remember. The Unsub. Suddenly your body becomes full on alert, looking down at yourself, noticing you're tied to an old wooden chair, you trying to even move your finger but they don’t even twitch. You can’t feel them, you can’t feel anything, you can only move your eyes. Gulping thickly as you do your best to keep your heart from racing knowing that it's only the drugs in your system doing this to you, and once your team finds you, you will be fine. From what you can see in the room, it seems like an old wooden workshop. The shelves are full of tools and bottles of things you do not wish to know, knowing that these are his supplies and will most likely be used on you. Makes a shiver run down your spine, goose bumps spreading over your body. Fuck, this is not a situation you really want to be in, but your team will find you, they will come and everything will be fine. You force yourself to take deep calming breaths as you repeat those words in your head, holding back the images of the old victims from flashing in your mind, not needing to know what this man has planned for you. 

~~~

You're not sure how long you're left alone for, sitting in the chair doing your best to keep your mind from spiralling. You hear a few creaks behind you, tensing up as you prepare to speak to the unsub, going through the profile in your mind. You hear a door open and close behind you before heavy footsteps start approaching. 

“Oh so you are awake” His voice is upbeating, sounding upbeat and almost excited.

“You took your time coming in here” You glare up, waiting for him to come into your line of sight. 

“Oh well (Y/n) I had to make sure that your team wouldn’t be able to find us so soon you see, I need to go back and cover my tracks” HIs chuckle is light, he grins coming to a stop in front of you, crouching down. You can feel the blood drain from your face as you see his face, his smile throwing you back into your past. 

“H h hector..” Your stomach feels as if it's dropped past your feet, making you dizzy with the fall. His grin makes you pull at the restraints, trying to get as far back from him as possible. 

“It's good to know you still remember me, especially seeing how long it's been, you have had such a successful career and yet you still remember your college music professor” He smirks, reaching out to stroke your hair, you jerk violently out of his way. You know that's the wrong move, of course it is. But there is no part of you that will ever allow him to touch you, not again. His smile drops, rage filling his once happy eyes, he stands up straight which makes you shiver in apprehensiveness. His hand tangles in your hair, yanking your head to the side with force making you wince, biting down on your lip. 

“Don’t you dare move away from me you bitch!” He snarls, leaning down so he can speak directly into your ear. “If you even attempt to do that again, I’ll make sure that when your team does finds your body, that they won’t ever be the same again, especially that Penelope girl” He push you back away, a chuckle slipping through his lips, as he watches the fear drain on your face. He knows Garica, he knows your team. Fuck, this must have been a trap, this must be his pay back.  

~~~

He leaves you alone for a while, you figure it's so he can regain his composure, wanting to have more self control when it comes to you. His end game. You keep pulling at the ropes binding you to the chair, just hoping you can get it loose enough to wiggle your wrist out of. Then maybe, just maybe you will have a chance of survival until your team can find you, if not then you have no chance back to sit still and play his game until your team gets here. Soon you hear the door open again, your motions come to a halt taking a deep breath ready to play his game. 

“Well hello gorgeous” Hector sings songs. He walks over to you carrying his own chair and places it right in front of you, smirking at you before taking a seat. 

“Hello” You reply coldly.

“Oh your highness, don’t be like that” He chuckles, his eyes fill of mischief.

“Look, I know you're eventually going to kill me, so what's the plan in the meantime, torture?” Scoffing as you roll your eyes, doing your best to put up a bored facade.

“Oh I figured, since the last time we had plans and you cancelled, that you owe me a song” Hector leans forward, raising his eyebrow, almost daring you to challenge him. You stare at him, you could follow his rules but then he could easily get bored of you, or you could play with him, give in after he has a bit of ‘fun’ acting as if it's all up to him.

“No” You glare back at him, which just earns a small smirk.

“No? Do you not remember what I did to my last victims, do you want me to do the same to you?” 

“I know whatever games you want to play I'm still going to end up with my throat cut out” You huff out, glaring at him trying to give him every inch of your anger as you can. His smile grows as he stares at you until his laugh is bouncing through the room. A laugh that feels almost condescending like. 

“Oh no, with you I have something a little more special planned, so why don’t you be a good little doll for me and sing me a damn song so you don’t have to find out so soon what it is, yeah?” His eyes narrow as he speaks, his voice darkening, clenching his fist as he does. 

“I said no, what are you deaf?” 

His hand wacks across your face hard, leaving a stinging feeling behind as his hand wraps around your throat, pulling you close to him. Forcing you to whimper as your restricts yank you backwards.

“Don’t be smart with me, one last chance my sweetness” His words make your mind beg you to agree with him but your profiler side knows if you want to get out of this alive, you need to go through with this. 

“I said no, dumbass” Gulping tickly as his hand tightened, making it impossible to get any air in. Your mind runs empty as he pulls out a knife, placing it on your cheek grinning at you one last time before he starts to slice. You try to clench your eyes close as he moves the knife off your face, the pointed end staying on your skin, tracing down your neck moving down to your arm, where he starts slicing once more. Once the knife begins to slice, that's when you go inside your own mine, doing your best to dissociate from your body.

~~~

It's been 10 hours since the team has had contact with you. Everyone is running on no sleep, and are getting paranoid having no clue as to how long the unsub will want to keep you for. Currently Rossi, Prentiss and Reid have gone back to the bar to see if they can find any clues, see what they can find from talking to the staff who were working last night. While Hotch, JJ and Morgan stay behind at the precinct to work with Garcia on digging into your past, seeing if the unsub could be someone you know from back when you went to college.

“Okay so what am I looking for here?” Garcia asks, popping up on Hotch’s laptop, her face stained with tears, bags under her eyes.

“Okay Garcia, start looking for people who went to college at the same time (Y/L) did, narrow it down with anyone who attended their music class” Hotch instructs, looking down at his file of the previous victims.

“Okay, we have 25 names, small college helps with that I guess, now what?” 

“Okay, do any of them have any charges of violence, or stalking charger?” Morgan asks, turning to look at Garcia, watching as she types away at her keyboard.

“Down to five names, okay give me more”

“Hey Garcia, is there like a Havery or a Henry um something like that on the list” JJ pipes up, eyes widening as she remembers something you mentioned years ago. 

“Um no, but wait, hang on there is a Hector Jameson, why” Garcia looks up, her eyes full of hope. 

“I remember years ago me and (Y/n) were talking about people with names we would never date and they mentioned this guy in their music class and, they didn’t want to talk about it but I could tell there was something about him that they wasn’t ready to talk about” JJ explain, pain and anger flashing on to her face, remembering just how uncomfortable you became after accidentally muttering his name. 

“Oh jesus..” Garica whispers, staring at her computer as she types. 

“Baby Girl, what is it?” Morgan calls for her.

“He’s the music professor at the college” Her eyes land on Morgan, worry and fear running through them. Hotch and JJ tenses up before glancing briefly at Morgan, seeing his fist clenched tightly, anger pumping through his veins. 

“Send us an address Garcia” 

“I will, but he also has a few cabins under his name, but no address for those” She sighs softly, sending them his addressee.

“It's okay, we’ll figure it out, thanks Garcia see what else you can find out about him” Hotch tells her before hanging up. 

~~~

Blood drips down your arms, forced whimpers and cries slip out of you. 

“Please stop please stop, I’ll sing for you” You whimper, finally deciding to give in.

“Oh, what a good doll you are” He grins happily. Sitting back down, playing with the knife in his hand.

“W what would you like?” Your voice is shaky, glancing up at him with fear.

“Why don’t you sing our song?” His smirk digs into your soul. Tears swell in your eyes as the song starts playing in your mind. 

“D do you have a guitar that I can play as well.. That way I can make it perfect” Your lip twitches trying hard to not cry, as he glares at you.

“You just want your hands to be freed, no” He scoffs, coming to a stop playing with the knife, ready to use it again.

“No no I don't.. It's okay I’ll just sing” Gulping thickly as you take a deep breath doing your best to keep the shakiness out of your voice.

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, 

I'll be your fantasy

I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, 

be everything that you need

I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do.

You manage to sing the song perfectly until the last paragraph where you slip up, your fear making it impossible to keep singing with a stable voice. This only angered him like you thought it would.

“You fucking bitch” He sneers at you, dropping his knife as he gets up, grabbing your hair.

“Im sorry Im sorry, please just let me try again” You beg him, fighting against your instincts to pull away from his touch. 

“No, you know if you just took my offer when you were younger then I could of helped you, you could of been famous by now, instead your some useless FBI agent and that's all you're going to be known for” He smirks, getting to his feet, moving his hand from your hair to cup your face. “All you're going to be known for is someone who never went for opportunities and that's why you're going to die, I mean not right now but soon” His evil smile makes you lunge towards him, trying to headbutt him, no longer caring about the consequences of your action. Oh how stupid that was. All he does is smile more at you, before stepping away, walking to his wall of tools picking up an empty water bottle and filling it up with something you can’t see. He walks back over to you grabbing your jaw with such strength you didn’t know he had.

“I bet your thirsty baby, open up for me” Your eyes widen as things start making sense, you clench your jaw tighter, knowing once you do, that everything is over.

“Stubborn bitch aren’t you” He grabs his knife that lays forgotten on the knife shovinging it deeply in your shoulder, causing you to cry out in pain, your mouth opening wide enough for him to squirt some liquid into your mouth. It slides down your throat, leaving the worst burning feeling you have ever felt behind, as if someone has sent fire to your throat. You scream out in pain as it counts to burn, his laugh is the last thing you hear before blackness takes over. 

~~~

“Okay so we talked to a few of (Y/n) old classmates who were also in Hector class and we think we found something” Rossi announces as he and Emily walk into the room where the rest of the team is currently, all spread around the table throwing ideas off each other. 

“Yeah, it turns out he liked to take a few of his students out camping, apparently the fresh air was known to help encourage the creative flow, (Y/n) apparently went on a few of his camping trips with fellow classmates but everyone we talked to told us that (Y/l) was definitely his favourite student, spent every waking second talking and helping them” Emily huffs taking a seat. “Some students think they used to have a thing together, they were of age so maybe they did” Emily supplies, looking at the papers spread across the table.

“Not voluntarily I bet, they were groomed!” Morgan snaps, slamming his hand down as he gets up in huff, feeling frustrated and scared for you.

“Morgan, we know that could be possible, but we need to stay calm” Hotch starts, looking up at him, worrying. Everyone knew these types of cases already hit him hard, but when it comes to a member of a team, feelings get out of hand.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Morgan snaps, before storming out of the room, quickly followed by a concerned Reid. 

“Okay, I know we are worried about (Y/n) but we are no close to finding where his cabins are so, I want everyone to go back to the hotel get some sleep, It's been over 24 hours since anyone has slept and I can’t have us continuing like this” Hotch decided looking up to see three faces staring back at his in disbelief.

“No, no I'm not sleeping until I know they're safe, until we find them Hotch, no way” JJ argues, crosses her arms.

“They wouldn’t sleep if It was us out there missing, no way I’m resting” Emily agrees with JJ, glaring back at Hotch.

“Guys, we are no help to (Y/n) if we wear ourselves down” Hotch tries to reason, knowing it's useless.

“Hotch is right” Dave stands up for him, having seen how hard the team has been working for the last 30 hours. “It's coming close to 42 hours without sleep, this isn’t good, and when we do find them we need to be rested up enough to take him down” Daves words hang in the air for a few seconds as the girls mull them over.

‘Fine” Emily slowly agrees, nodding.

“Okay, but the second we have any information we got to go” JJ sighs getting up.

“We’ll take shifts, you three go first, after two hours we swap” Hotch smiles sadly, knowing it's what they did last time this happened. 

~~~

It's now been 20 hours that you have been missing, and the team has gotten some sleep. Even including Garcia who fell asleep on the couch in Morgan's office. Now with some fresher eyes they are relooking as to where his cabins could be, looking at where the classes used to go camping. With some connection Garcia now has access to a satellite. Looking through the area they think his cabin could be in to see if they could find something. 

“Guys, do you see this?” Penelope's voice is quiet, but slowly filling with hope.

“Two heat signatures” Morgan responds, getting to his feet.

“That cabin looks to be around 5 miles from where they did the camping trip” Reid replies, everyone jumping to their feet, Instructing Garica to send the coordinates to their phones as they run out the door. They take two separate vehicles, Rossi, JJ and Morgan in one, Hotch, Emily and Reid in the other, with SWAT and medics on the way. 

“Okay, Babygirl speaks to us, where exactly are they in the cabin?” Morgan asks, a phone call connecting them all, when they start getting closer. 

“Okay, so it appears they are out in the backroom, one of them seems to be moving outside, wait wait” Garcia voice grows panic as stares at the screen. Everyone looks at each other, the tension growing.

“Garcia, what's going on?” Hotch demands. His grip tightening on the wheel, terrified of the idea of losing you.

“He’s getting in his car, looks to be moving towards you but um” Penelope's voice fills with sadness, doing her best to keep the tears at bay she takes a deep breath. “(Y/n) heat signatures, its weakening” The shaky words make Morgan and Hotch speed up.

“Alright, just keep an eye on them, kitten” Rossi sighs softly looking out at the road, knowing they can’t be too far away now. 

“Hotch, I think that's him” Morgan eyes widen seeing the unsub car approaching them on the other side, driving fast and impatiently. 

“Alright, Morgan you get (Y/n) we got him” Hotch demands, doing a u-turn as the unsub passes him, turning his sirens on.

Everyone feels on edge as they split up, there is only one reason why he would have left you. Now they don’t know if they’re too late to save you. Time seems to run slow as they race towards the cabin, hope fading away.

~~~

Your throat feels like it's raw, the feeling in your body is back, making everything ache. You feel exhausted trying your hardest to stay awake, knowing your team has to be close by now, right? 

“Well, you’re finally awake bitch?” he snarls, wrapping his hand through your hair, yanking your head backwards making your eyes shoot open.

“Go fuck yourself” You retort weakly at him. When you speak it makes your throat feel like you swallowed a bunch of seawater and choked. The burned feeling makes your eyes water, just begging for all of this to end, quickly. 

“That's not polite” he chuckles, his hand travelling down your neck. Shivering under his touch, wishing you would never have to feel his hands on you again, hopeful today will end it all. You're not going to let him win, not again. You decide when taking a deep breath, spitting up into his face. 

“Your fucking dead for that” His voice is oddly calm, and thats the only thing your able to concentrate on as you feel his fist contacting with your face over and over again. Your sure small whimpers are leaving you as the chair falls to the side, your head smashing into the ground. His feet join in on the beat, but you know it doesn’t matter anymore because your childhood dog is standing him, waiting for you. You smile softly at them, knowing it's finally over. Your dog is the last thing you see as the world goes black. 

~~~

Mogan, Rossi and JJ get out of the car, making their way to the cabin. They enter quickly, checking the whole cabin before they find you in the backroom tied to a chair that lays on the ground. Their hearts drop as they see the state you are in, your head split open, blood pooling. There's dried blood and bruises covering your arms, your face looks swollen, your lips puffy and some chemical burns around your mouth. 

JJ is the first to reach you, falling to her knees in front of you, her mind begging you to still be alive. Her finger slid on to your neck, looking for a pulse.

“I got a pulse” JJ lets out a sigh of relief. “It's faint, but it's there” She smiles weakly up at the guys. Spotting Morgan speaking into his comms as Rossi bends down, pulling out his knife, cutting you free from the restrance.

“Their strong” Rossi smiles at JJ softly, as they both help pull you into a sitting position. Morgan grabs a rag he's found on the workshelf, handing it to JJ, who presses it on your head wound. Earning a low groan from you, your eyes trying to open, all you can do is get a glimpse of someone in front of you. Your mind starts rushing, no no you can’t deal with him again you can’t handle more pain. 

“N n no” Your words are barely audible, you try pulling away from JJ touch.

“Hey, hey it's okay it's us” JJ speaks softly, trying to grab you again, a cry escapes you, which causes you more pain. You are trying harder to get away, not understanding who's talking to you.

“Hey, (Y/n) stop stop, it's okay it's us kid” Daves voice cuts through the room loudly, grabbing your face with both his hands, holding you still. His touch is gentle but firm, his thumb sliding over your cheek.

“Kiddo, it's us, you're safe now” His words soften, the room goes quiet, except for the sirens that are approaching. You look up at him, your body shaking violently.

“D dave” You cough his name out, leaning back into the soft warm wall behind you. A wall that has arms apparently, because it's back to putting pressure on your head. 

“Don’t speak (Y/n) we got you now” He takes his hand of you causing you to whine, lifting up your hand, trying to reach for him. He smiles sadly, taking your hand in his, holding it tightly. 

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here” He kisses your hand softly. He stays true to his words, never leaving your side all the way to the hospital he holds your hand the whole way there, even after you black out again.

~~~

Oh gosh, the light is so bright it takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the brightness in the room. When it does that's when everything else starts connecting in your mind. Your body feels more comfortable than it did before, you're no longer on that chair, tied up in a dark room. Smiling softly as you look around, recognizing the look of a hospital room. Looking down at your arms you see your arms all bandaged up, noticing your hooked up to a few different I.V lines. Your body relaxes a little knowing you're safe now, but you can’t help but feel lonely, looking around the room wishing your team was here. I mean that's why you're here right? 

“You're awake” His voice is light and hopeful. His smile takes over half his face as he walks in. Your eyes shoot over to the doorway, smiling weakly as you see your boss walk in. 

“Aaron” Your voice is scratchy. The burning feeling from early returns as you try to speak.

“You don’t need to speak, the doctor said it could take a week for your throat to heal properly, so for now you need to take it easy” He explains softly, coming to sit beside you, earning a disappointed nod from you.

“The team wanted to wait for you to wake up but I sent them all back to the hotel last night, Dave stayed with you until morning, I sent him back an hour ago” He explains to you, watching you closely.

“W what happened?” You wince lightly, pointing to your throat. Slowly pulling yourself up to a sitting position.

“He poured sulfuric acid down your throat, it was diluted so it didn’t cause major damage” Hotch explains gently, staring at you sympathetically. You have to move your head away from him, unable to deal with that look anymore. 

“Thank you” You whisper, you're not even sure if he can hear you.

“You don’t need to thank us, look please you can’t talk anymore but once you do, I need to know what happened okay?” The softness to his voice cuts deeply into your chest, you always saw Aaron as a father figure, him and Dave. Ever since you joined the team they took you under their wing, making sure you understood what you were getting yourself into, looking after you after hard cases. Normally you can control your emotions, but the way he was looking at you, the way he was speaking is enough for you to break. You suddenly burst into tears, your body being rocking forward as you sob quietly, unable to make noise. Hotch is up in an instant, sitting on the edge of your bed pulling you into his arms. His arms wrap around you securely, one rubbing your back softly. 

“It's okay, I’ve got you (Y/n/n)” He whispers words of sweetness as he lets you cry in his arms, holding you for as long as you need. 

~~~

The morning is filled with doctors checking on you, taking you for scans or tests. You hate being away from your team, hate being alone in rooms, your eyes beg Aaron to go with you, but they don’t allow him into the small rooms. Your anxiety is spiking all morning, soon they allow you to go back to your room, where Hotch is waiting for you, texting on his phone when your bed is wheeled in. 

“So, how are you doing?” Hotch asks when you two are alone again.

“A couple broken ribs, my throat hurts, but I’m fine, and I can go home tomorrow” You smile weakly at him, leaning back in the bed, feeling exhausted.

“Why don’t you get some sleep, the team was thinking of coming to see you but I can tell them no” He stares at you, not wanting to push you, he knows you need to rest. But the smile that breaks over your face at the mention of the team, makes him know that resting will have to wait. 

“No I wanna see them” You grin at him, knowing that right now you can get almost anything you want. 

“Alright, I’ll let them know” He smiles, sending a text.

“Did you get him?” Your voice is so quiet, your eyes as wide as a tennis ball while you stare at the wall opposite you. He looks up at you, wondering how long you have been wanting to ask him that, fearing for the answer he could give you.

“He left you in the cabin, he drove past us when we were on our way to you, we silt up, Me Emily and Reid tracked him down, the situation escalated after we got to him and he got shot, he didn’t make it” Aaron tells you, his voice staying at a neutral tone, not sure how you’re going to take it.

“Good” Is all that you say, your expression staying empty. Rolling onto your side away from him as you wait for the team to turn up, accidentally falling asleep.

~~~

“Well look who's awake” Derek's voice makes you look up. You and Hotch are playing cards, after waking from your nap he informed you that the team was going to come over just tonight, giving you afternoon to sleep. Which you do, and now after growing bored you’re playing cards with Aaron, waiting for the arrival of your team. 

Your head shoots up at Morgan's voice, grinning at him and the others who all trail in, looking at you surprised to see how much better you already look.

“What, I like to sleep” You tease him back, your voice still raw and scratchy.

“How are you feeling?” JJ asks, making her way over. She's the first to give you a hug, cupping your face looking you over.

“JJ, Im fine now, It will all heal” You smile gently, trying to reassure her before moving from her grip. 

“Fine, are you in pain?” She requires the memories of finding you half dead on the floor forever carved in her mind. 

“I’m on so many meds right now, I can’t feel anything” You smile weakly, your throat starting to burn again.

“Relax mama bear, they're fine” Derek pats JJ on the shoulder, leaving his hand there. Pulling her away from you, giving you space

“You know you shouldn’t speak too much (Y/n) it's only going to irritate your throat” Spencer informs you, staring at you with his puppy dog eyes full of worry. 

“Noted” Smirking softly as you lay your head back, looking around at your team. If it wasn’t for them you wouldn't be lying here right now. “Thank you, all of you I–” Your words trail off, not knowing how to phrase how gracefully you are for them.

“You never have to thank us” Emily smiles softly down at you, standing close to you her hand runs through your hair gently. A normal shower of affection that she regularly does with you and Reid, only this time you flinch. Everyone notices it, but they don’t bring it up. They already knew you were going to have some trauma to work through. Emily removes her hand slowly, her eyes flicking over to Morgan feeling guilty. 

~~~

The team sticks around for an hour, they talk and laugh with you for a while, even though you don’t respond offended, trying your best to look after your throat. The team only leaves after the doctor asks to check over your wounds in private. Informing them that you will be able to get discharged in the morning. Once the doctor leaves you alone, fear and anxiety start spreading throughout you again. You know it's impossible for him to come back and hurt you, but that doesn't mean your mind is ready to accept that. You turn the tv on, watching some drama tv show, your mind unable to pay attention to it, but the background sound is nice. 

“Oooh what are we watching?” Dave's cherry voice breaks you out of your mind, your eyes flick over to the doorway watching him walk in holding a couple bags. Setting them down before he takes a seat beside you, pretending to watch the tv and not notice the small smile playing on your lips at the sight of his present. 

“some type of drama tv show” You shrug, looking back at the T.V.

“Wait, hang on, have you never seen this before?” Dave gasps, staring at you. You nod in response confused to his reaction. 

“You have never seen the office before, well that is differently changing, Office marathon at my mansion one night” His grin makes you laugh weakly, his eyes narrow at you, giving you a stern look.

“No nosies, you need to rest your throat, also I got you something for that” He leans forward grabbing one of the bags. You frown at him, wondering what he may have, a grin breaking out as you see him pull out your favourite ice cream tub. He passes it to you with a spoon, a small smile on his lips as he does.

“Thanks” You whisper lightly, smirking at him, having to hold back a laugh when he rolls his eyes at you. 

~~~

You two sat in silence for over an hour, eating the ice cream and enjoying the T.v show. It's getting late, and you're forcing your eyes to stay open not wanting to sleep just yet. Dave had noticed that you have been fighting sleep for the past ten minutes, jumping every time your eyes close.

“(Y/n), you need to try and get some sleep” Dave sighs softly, not missing the way your eyes are watering. 

“I can’t” Your voice shakes, doing your best to try and stop it.

“I can go and get a nurse to see if they can give you something?” Dave watches the way your body tenses up at the suggestion, just knowing that tonight is going to be a long one. 

“No, no more drugs”

“Okay, then what can I do?” Rossi almost begs you to let him help you, just wanting you to get some rest.

“I…” You know what could help but you can’t ask him, he is practically your second boss. Just because you see him like a father figure doesn’t mean he does. 

“Nothing” Is all you say instead.

“(Y/n), please what do you need?” He takes your hand that's shaking lightly.

“H hug?” Gulping thickly as you glance over at him, seeing the worry melt off his face. 

“Now that, I can do” He smiles softly, getting up. “Move over” He sits down beside you waiting for you to scooch over. You smile weakly scooching over enough for him to lay down, wrapping his arm around you pulling you into him. 

“Thank you” You snuggle into him, closing your eyes.

“Anytime kiddo, get some rest” His whisper is full of love, his arm wrapped around you securely as you allow yourself to close your eyes and fall into the darkness. 

~~~

The flight home is long and quiet. You were given the couch to rest on it, which you happily took. Snuggling down in your blanket, staring at the ceiling the whole time, feeling lost inside your own mind. The only time you really move is when it's time to take more meds or you need to hydrate. The team sat at the back of the jet, trying to give you privacy, but also so they could share their worries about you without being overheard. Hotch and Rossi had already spoken about you, knowing the next stage of this is going to be hard for you. Especially when it comes to needing to know who Hector was to you, having to ask what he exactly did to you. 

The flight is now half way over, when you finally fall asleep. The team smiles over at you, happy you're finally resting. Sadly it doesn't last longer, when you're suddenly interrupting everyone with a scream. Rossi and Hotch are up in seconds, both rushing to your side leaving the team to watch in worry. You're thrashing around on the couch, tears and whimpers escaping you. Fear covering your face, your heart racing with panic. 

“(Y/n), wake up your safe” Rossi kneels in front of you, hands cupping your face. Trying to get you to stop moving before you injure yourself. Hotch moves to grab your arms, scared you're going to rip some of your stitches open, holding them firmly as he hopes Rossi can wake you up.

“(Y/n), open your eyes for me kiddo” Rossi shakes your face lightly, your eyes soon flutter open your lips twitching as you try to calm down.

“Your okay Ragazzion, you're okay” Rossi lets go of your face, same time Hotch lets you go. 

“I.. sorry” You utter out, trying hard to control the tears. Pulling yourself into a sitting position in the middle of the couch. 

“It's okay, how are you doing?” Hotch asks, his voice laced with concern as he and Rossi both take a seat on either side of you.

“I don’t know” You look at him feeling hopeless, the tears starting to dry on your face.

“That's okay, do you need anything?” Hotch smiles softly at you, placing his hand gently on your knee, you jump slightly before nodding.

“Water, please?” You lean into Rossi when his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you in close.

“You got it,” Aaron smiles before getting up to get some water. 

You can’t help but lean into Rossi's touch, now that with him, you're always going to be safe. Your head rests on his shoulder, not caring that the rest of the team is watching you, concerned running through them. You're not a hugger, you barely like touching, some say you're even worse than Reid. But here you are, snuggled up to Rossi refusing to let him go even when Hotch brings over the water. Rossi has to pull you away from him so you would drink, nodding as you follow their instruction. The team stares at you worried about how badly the unsub has messed you up, when you're asking Hotch to join you on the couch, and suddenly you're snuggled up between the two bosses of the BAU. The remaining three hours of the flight, you refuse to move from either of them constantly needing physical contact from them.

~~~

The elevator ride up to your office floor is peaceful. You stand in the back, still holding on to Rossi's hand, refusing to even let go after leaving the jet. Rossi doesn’t mind it, he's always happy to hold you close. He's always seen you as one of his kids ever since you joined the team 2 years ago. You were one of the youngest agents he had met, you were barely 23 when you joined. When the elevator doors open, the team slowly make their way out, you're the last to walk out with Rossi. Garica stands by the glass doors, smiling with relief as she sees you. You can’t help yourself, you pull away from Rossi, and make your way quickly towards the woman who constantly produces happiness. Flinging your arms around her, she's quick to respond, hugging you back tightly, no words exchanged. The team all walks past you giving you space.

“Thank you” You smile weakly as you pull away from her, both of you having tears sliding down your face.

“Never have to thank me, never have to thank any of us” She smiles softly, looping her arm with you, leading you into the bullpen. “We never want to lose you, do you understand, you are a part of our family, we will always be there when you need us” She smiles at you, watching as the wheels turn in your eyes.

“I know, I just.. I was scared, there's things you don’t know” You words seem to fail you but she gives you a reassuring look.

“That's okay, all in your own time” Garcia walks you to your desk, helping you pack up some folders, everyone knows you're taking a few weeks off due to doctor's orders. 

“I’ll give you a ride home, by the way (Y/n)” Morgan walks over to you two, grabbing your bag.

“Morgan I can drive myself”

“No you can’t” Was the response of Penelope and Reid

“Oh hell no!” Came JJ and Emily's answer, all looking at you with overprotective looks.

“Guys I’m fine” You sigh, knowing it's useless.

“No you're not, but Morgan it's okay I’ll take them home” Hotch speaks up as he and Rossi make their way down the stairs and over to you.

“I don’t get a choice do I?”

“No”

“Nope”

~~~

Hotch helps you in his car, against your protest. Once you two are finally on the way out of Quantico, that's when you know the question will begin.

“So me and Dave were talking” He starts, his eyes staying focused on the road. “We don’t like the idea of you staying alone”

“Hotch, I’ll be fine” You know that's a lie, truthly you're dreading going home alone.

“(Y/n) please, we all know you're not okay, I don’t want you to be alone, because If you are it's going to drive me crazy” He sighs, glancing over at you, watching as your face falls.

“I don’t want anyone to worry about me” You stare out the window, trying to empty your mind.

“I know, but we will anyway, because we care about you, I know I shouldn’t but I see you like my kid (Y/n), please just let us help you” His voice is so close to begging you to agree with him.

“You have Jack, I can’t stay with you” Your hands start to fidget, hate to be a burden.

“He’s not home tonight he's with Jess, so stay with me tonight and that gives Rossi time to set up a spare room for you, you can stay with him or me as long as you need” Hotch looks at you, seeing as you think over his question.

“Okay” You finally agree, the idea of being alone eating away at you. “But only for a little while”

“Thank you” Aaron smiles, driving to his place.

Three weeks later.

You still suffer with nightmares, still unfit to return back to work for now. For the last two weeks you have been staying at Rossi places, which has been nice, even when he's been away on cases. The fact his place has a lot of cameras and security makes you feel safe. You’ve been going to therapy two times a week, doing everything you can so you can start feeling like yourself again. It was last week when you went into the office and finally told Hotch and Rossi the truth of who Hector was to you, doing your best to not break down as you did so. Hotch and Rossi have become your main support in the past few weeks, making sure you had everything you needed to feel okay. Hotch would come visit you most days he was in town, bring Jack over to have dinner with you and Dave. Their actions constantly reminding you how important you are to them, how no matter what, they will always be there for you. 

One night, you're sitting in Rossi's living room not expecting him to come home. You're playing the guitar you had picked up from home, strumming it slowly. You've had it in your room for the last week but every time you picked it up the memories would come rushing back, but not today. Today when you picked it up sitting on the couch, it just felt normal. You take a deep breath closing your eyes as you slowly start singing, enjoying the way it feels to relax and play again. This is something you used to do everyday and now, it's been three weeks. You promised yourself that no one would take your passion away from you, so there's no way you're going to let him take that from you, no one gets to do that. Soon the song comes to an end, smiling softly as the music comes to a stop opening your eyes slowly. 

“Now that was beautiful” 

You don't mean to jump, but you weren’t expecting anyone to be home until later tonight. Turning around, you see Rossi walk in from behind, smiling softly.

“I didn’t know you were listening” Feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, embarrassed.

“I know, I didn’t want to interrupt, but you have such a talent” Dave comments, walking over taking a seat beside you.

“Thank you” Smilingly softly looking down, falling silent.

“A penny for your thoughts” Dave asks, frowning slightly at you.

“I miss performing” Sighing softly, placing the guitar on your lap.

“Why did you stop?”

“It didn’t fit in with my schedule anymore” 

“Well, If I’m right you do have some time now, and I know we aren’t in town most weekends, but you can still try every now and again” Dave suggest, smiling lightly. Knowing that he and the team would love to hear you perform again.

“I could but I.. it feels weird after what happened last time, I feel like I shouldn’t do that again” You admit your fear, feeling shamefully about it. 

“That's understandable, but that won’t happen again, and me and the team will be right there for you” Dave looks at you encouragingly.

“I know” You rest your head on his shoulder, feeling exhausted from overthinking. 

“Is something else going on in there?” Rossi wraps his arms around you.

“Maybe” Sighing softly, closing your eyes. “I think it's time I go home”

“You don’t have to kiddo, you can stay here as long as you need, you know that” Rossi reminds you.

“I know, but I’m not going to be able to move on with my life If I stay here” You explain, feeling sad at the idea of leaving.

“Well, why don’t I help you set up a camera at your place and we can put in a better security system as well” Rossi offers, wanting you to be safe if you're leaving.

“I like that idea, thank you” You smile weakly.

“Perfect, we can do it this weekend, If I don’t get called away” Rossi kisses your forehead softly.

~~~

It's Friday night, and Rossi has invited the team out for drinks. When they all arrive they aren’t expecting you to be waiting at the table for them already, they have barely seen you in the past few weeks.

“(Y/n)” Garcia squeals out, unlooping her arm with Morgan as she runs over to you, encasing you in a giant hug that you happily return.

“Hey you” Smiling brightly, feeling her happiness bounce off her. Letting her go as you hug the rest of the team, (Excluding Hotch and Rossi who you see regular) 

“I thought I would surprise you all” Smiling softly as you all sit down, letting Hotch and Rossi get everyone's drinks. 

“Please tell me you're coming back soon, I've missed you” JJ sighs, smiling at you hopeful.

“What JJ, we aren’t good enough for you” Morgan teases her.

“Please tell me it's soon, because I can’t deal with Morgan without you much longer” JJ groans, as the rest of the team laughs at Morgan's offended face.

“Well It should be Monday if Hotch approves” You smile at them, forgetting how much you missed your little family.

“Oh he better approve” Emily smiles, noticing how much better you seem to be now.

“He does,” Aaron smiles, approaching the group from behind, carrying some drinks, hanging them out.

“Thank you” You grin at him as the group cheers, Garcia wrapping her arm around your shoulders excitedly.

~~~

The rest of the night is full of laughter and catching up with everyone. There's a stage at the bar and people are going up, singing and playing music. The team watches a few acts but soon it fades into background noise as they all catch up. That is until you disappear to the bathroom, and when you return back you see the stage empty, the guitar sat there just begging for someone to play it. The opportunity staring you in the face, you glance over at your family smiling softly knowing they will always be your biggest support, so you head on up.

“Hey guys, hope you don’t mind me giving this ago” You smile speaking into the microphone, picking up the guitar. Some people turn to look at you smiling, your whole team turns to face the stage, surprised to hear your voice echoing through the bar. Smiles and grins break out as they realise what you're doing, a few cheers come from Morgan and Garcia, earning a soft laugh from you as you strumming the guitar softly. The bar grows quite as the guitar fills the place, taking a deep breath as you start to sing. 

Don't listen to the voice inside your head

You're doing just fine

You're trying your best

If no one ever told you it's all gonna be okay

We're just people never sleeping over stupid shit

We won't remember in the morning

Yeah, we're gonna forget

And no one ever told you it's all gonna be okay

You sing softly, enjoying the way it feels falling into the vibes. Staring out at the crowds seeing them looking up at you, but your eyes only stay on your team. Seeing their smiles full of love and proud as they all watch you. You can’t help but sway as you play the guitar, finally feeling like yourself, and it's all thanks to your team. You know no matter what happens they will always have your back, and nothing will ever pull you away from them.

~~~

[untitled-tmnt-blog]

I've been working on my very first animatic for the past few weeks, and I'm only about halfway done, so it's going to take a while longer still. Was it wise for me to pick a 3-minute song for my first attempt? Idk, we'll see!

Anyways, here are the first frames I drew for it as a GIF, because I have a truckload of drawings and am itching to post some of them!

I'm also still learning how poses and movements work, so am referencing a ton of screenshots and clips from the show/movie... so if a character's pose looks familiar, it probably is! I'm not denying it -- it's a learning process, and all just for fun! I am figuring out how to do more original ones as I go too, which makes me feel rather accomplished.

(Also, did I mention this animatic is for a fic? I'll wait to say which one until I finish, though! Hopefully my ameteur drawing skills do the author's writing justice!)

[jellysxtarr]

Explaining and (hopefully) proving Melanie Martinez is a bad person in general and shouldn't get supported !!

I want to start off strong and say that no, I don't support Timothy's actions and they shouldn't get justified for the things she has done. Want I do want, is for Timothy and other victims to get justice on their SA case or other. (SA is not a joke, believe the victims!!)

This post has multiple sections and will cover (almost) everything from top to bottom, take some of my words with a grain of salt as they took me months to find and even provide. Of course, if you do have any more information I couldn't find myself, I will look into it once mentioned and update this post eventually.

1. NFT's

This was pretty well known if I remember correctly, Melanie sold NFTs featuring a crying elephant, a duck looking into a mirror, a claustrophobic teddy bear and a flying cow that was..well, lactating. (Oddly it seemed sexual too which is yikes!!)

Those NFT's still exists and can be viewed right here.

The only reason I'm mentioning this is to bring it back up again, even with how minimal is may seem to other allegations, it's best to bring up past behaviors and what not.

NFT's are bad, they're harmful for the environment, buying, creating or even selling NFT's can cause pollution or e-waste, they're unnecessary.

2. CP (Child Porn)

This allegation has recently been outed, Melanie has been doing CP with none other than her own character Crybaby. I have seen that others made fun of it too (which honestly, isn't funny! Don't make jokes about child porn even if it's a fictional character!! Most things that happen in fiction happen often in reality).

Melanie has posted a "work in progress" drawing featuring her character topless, A CHILD, topless. Drawing a child (Crybaby) even if it's a fictional character (albeit, it also did count has Melanie's weird persona) anything of a child drawn sexually can legally count as CP, which is absolutely disgusting.

I would mention the coloring book too, but as I didn't see all the pages I shouldn't comment on it much. But from what I have seen, it's worth to mention it in this section too.

3. Pedophilia

A strong word but it's worth to mention. I'm sure Melanie's theme about "infants, children" and whatnot are obvious. Those childlike songs with a undertone of sexual stuff can be easy to ignore if you don't listen to the lyrics.

Melanie Martinez's whole theme revolves about her character, Crybaby, who goes through stages of life while growing up featured with sexual stuff. I want to still mention that Crybaby is a CHILD. It's unnecessary of Melanie Martinez to make a child appeal sexually even (cough, Pacify Her music video, Training Wheels lyrics and music video).

Another thing I wanna mention is K-12, a movie and album once again revolving about children. The movie was bad (and, if I remember correctly, even she worked with a pedophile on set while aware which is a big yikes!!), as far as I saw, everybody has seen that the "Teacher's Pet" song and scene was unnecessary to add (considering the character was also nude in that scene, it's once again CP).

While the characters don't have a specific age, they're in high school!! HIGH SCHOOL, they're still children for crying out loud.

In short, Melanie has shown pedophilic behavior in albums and songs.

4. Bad Treatment towards friends and Co-workers

While it isn't as, "well known" per say, it has been said by Gina Frey (i deeply apologize for the bad quality in that image! Finding this was very difficult and I can't seem to find one with one that was more readable) who was friends with Melanie back then has said she dealt with Melanie Martinez's awful behavior and treatment towards her, I want to add that Allison Balchi had shortly mentioned she didn't get the best treatment either.

Stella Rose (she will once again be mentioned in a different section) also appears to be on the same boat as Gina Frey And Allison Balchi.

While I am not sure with what exactly has also happened with the artist of the Crybaby coloring book, the artist has mentioned that they don't want to do anything with Melanie anymore and won't return to her either (from my choice, it was best to add it here since the artist not wanting to do anything with Melanie anymore can count here).

5. Rapist Allegations

Before you go and mention "well!! Innocent until proven guilty!!!" This won't work, it's GUILTY until proven innocent. If you were brought to court you would not even be near innocent but counted as guilty.

I think we all know this has resurfaced (and thank God it did! This allegation is not a joke do NOT shove it aside), but it's also obvious which side people are on.

Timothy Heller has returned to the internet to speak about her SA case once again, while negativity has returned, a fair share took Timothy's words seriously and drove away from Melanie. Even with the mention of it being "debunked, Timothy lied Melanie innocent yippie!!" That is false.

Timothy didn't lie, Melanie has out right stated that it did happen, too.

A lack of no doesn't mean yes. And, even with some extra words added, she never said no stands out the most. Melanie made two tweets, one admitting the situation and the other THANKING her fans for bullying Timothy off the internet. How do you people not see anything wrong with that??

"Timothy got the dates mixed up!! Oh and the pictures don't add up either!!" I will be blunt and say victims of SA wouldn't remember the dates, that would be the LAST thing a victim would care about. And about the pictures, Timothy's gallery was bugging out, someone else who had the same type of phone Timothy had said that they had also have something like that happen.

Some screenshots about messages Timothy had sent were fake, edited, made up by Melanie's dickriders to silence Timothy.

Allegedly, when Timothy first said her statement about Melanie back then, one of Melanie's fans hacked her account, changed everything around it and left it with a laugh. Which should also say enough about Melanie's fans.

But Timothy wasn't the only one, Madeleine Carina and Stella Rose have also said something when Timothy spoke up about her situation, which by surprise got ignored as Timothy was at the center of everyone's attention.

I want to say on Madeleine's statement that she was peer pressured into saying yes to sleeping with Melanie, which is once again, NOT consented.

Getting pressured to say yes even if you DON'T want to COUNTS as a form of sexual assault and it flies over everybody's heads. I hope the victims get justice, it's sad to see that millions of people would rather believe a potential rapist (with oh so many allegations on her back already) than a potential victim.

I want to once again say, believe the victims! It's scummy of people to be well aware and still brush it off when it's right in front of their face (and seeing how people on TikTok act with wanting Melanie to rape them instead is fucking repulsing).

Melanie isn't a great person, her silence on the current situation says a lot, even going as far to ignore them. I hope this is her fucking down fall cause she honestly had it coming, she does not deserve her fame.