#hopefully it's not just my adhd rambling an it actually makes sense

[peoplepersonoaktree]

Is this how I reply to comments like this? Idk. Anyway~

@banana-pancake5 if you actually wanted me to answer this, here-

HOLY CRAP THIS IS GONNA BE LONG-

Hopefully not too long- I'll try not to rant too much, we'll se tho

so, the Au is your basic, “what if Mikey wasn’t able to open a portal?” Au, which has been done a whole lot, I know, but oh well. I’ve been working on it since like, July and I’ve only gotten to pg 19, so idk if I’ll ever finish it.

so, one day, in like, mid June, when I first started actually trying to draw the turtles, I started drawing a thing in this little baby sketchbook I have, based on the song “Georgia” by Jonah Kagen. And then I sent it to my friend. And then it grew and we eventually came up with this and this entire storyline. We just kinda plotted this thing out where like, two weeks after the invasion, Donnie starts getting these weird visions of Leo in the prison dimension because why not, and tries to get him back with Casey's help or whatever because he thinks that these visions mean that Leo's still alive. Here’s the original pictures because I think they can be in here-

Idk. I didn’t know how to draw clothes and still don’t 😃👍

I don’t think I’ll ever post the comic on tumblr or anywhere because I probably won’t ever finish it, but if I get to a certain point in the comic, (which is way far away) maybe I will. Idk.

*Cough* and then I also have a mini thing where I turned them all into mushroom people but that's a whole different thing-

NOW TO THE KID’S SHOW WHICH IS THE PART I’M ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT~

Like I said in this post, my friend texted me at like, 2 am on a school night, and was like, "Hey, hey hey... wanna write and animate a kid's show w/ me??" and I said heck yeah because I definitely have time for that. I asked her if she had any idea for what it would be about or anything like that and she did not, so we just kinda... pulled something out of the ground the next day and I ended up getting obsessed.

So, the kid's show...

We haven't figured out a name for it because we're both indecisive, which is... bad if you're trying to get something done. But we got characters and half a storyline settled!

So, the show is centered around four main characters, Atlas (A deer), Fern (A fox), Nutmeg (Mouse), and M I L D R E D (a chickadee). They're also in the post linked above.

The show would be about these four, going on little adventures, exploring the forest where they live, discovering odd creatures (thinking about adding in a few Acorn Creetchurs because that would be fun) and just living life

but as the series continues, the colors start to get more muted and the backgrounds start to get more gray, as if the life is being drained out of the forest.

one day, while exploring, they come upon this odd sort of... black goop that's spreading across the forest floor, infecting and killing everything it comes into contact with. Then, the four of them have to find a way to stop the spread of this odd goop. This goop represents pollution/deforestation, and we have a few ideas for how the goop started, one of my favorites being that it's controlled by some sort of animal spirit that grew up in a heavily polluted area and died at a young age because of the conditions and the only reason it's spreading is because it wants to be able to breathe fresh air and drink clean water for once, but it can't, because everything it touches immediately becomes polluted.

We both went into this knowing absolutely N O T H I N G about animating, so it'll probably be a few years until we're actually able to do anything with this, if we do anything with it.

That- that little animation is the most I can do with animation. That's the best I got.

[vvanillavveins]

On the WTNV finale:

Look, i like Brinknor. They helped me fall back in love with Night Vale when i was feeling particularly uninspired. It's hard to put it into words; i have adhd & i struggle to remember big intricate plots unless something reoccurring has really grabbed hold of my attention, and before Brinknor, i was struggling to sink my teeth into anything attention-holding, so to speak. I guess i was becoming less enthusiastic in Night Vale's storyline as time went on, even though i couldn't really work out why. I just couldn't stop tuning out. But, with Brinknor, there came a bunch of shiny new plotpoints- at a faster pace. The show could actually hold my focus properly, and my wtnv fixation was suddenly up & running again.

All this is to say that i know it's just my impatience talking when i say that i wish that the loose ends of those new, interesting plotpoints had been tied up a little more by episode 250. I adore the way they write about Cecil's childhood and his family, and i want Kevin & The Boy's arc to be given the same amount of love, and attention, and time that the Palmer siblings' arc got. The same goes for Tamika. And Carlos. And Lauren, actually. Yes, i know she was a central figure in the last 2 episodes, and i loved that because she's one of my favourite characters. I fucking adore eldritch Mother Lauren. But still, it was all too vague to really learn anything new about her or the desert otherworld. And, above all else, i can't help but think of how wonderful it would've been if Charles and Donovan were included in the finale- especially Donovan.

When Kevin first came back in 2023, one of my silly little hcs as to why he was apparently in the Smiling God's bad books (and why he didn't mention Charles or Donovan) was that because Charles & Donovan aren't from Desert Bluffs they haven't devoted themselves to the Smiling God like the rest of the townsfolk. They wouldn't "smile" properly. One of my darker ideas at the time was the possibility of Kevin having to choose between making them part of his faith, i.e., making them "smile" like the rest of Desert Bluffs (which i doubt he'd go through with after his mudstone abyss arc), or having Charles & Donovan leave town (which i doubt they'd go through with), or, doing neither & keeping quiet about his life with them to avoid drawing attention. If he chose the latter and then got found out, it would make sense that he'd stop being the Smiling God's favourite. Obviously, i never thought any of that was correct- i was just having fun- and i was excited to find out the real story further down the line.

But that didn't happen, and we still don't really have many answers. Everything to do with Kevin, and Lauren, and The Boy got wrapped up in about 10 minutes flat. We've already had an emotional Fatherhood themed episode with Cecil & Abby; we didn't need another one just for the sake of it.

With the context of what we already know about Kevin's father, the ending of episode 250 was just uncomfortable. Sure, Kevin's talked about his father positively before, but that's always been in contrast with the actual content of his memories. It's always been made clear that the script/the writers disagree with Kevin's sunny outlook, and therefore the listeners should too. Those moments are there to demonstrate just how fucked up Kevin really is, and that his positivity is just a coping mechanism. But this time Cecil spoke for him, so we didn't get Kevin's usual sing-song rambling. It was calm, and collected, and matter-of-factly. And this time there were no sugar-coated descriptions of abuse, only genuine praise. We were actually supposed to agree with him this time, and it made the whole speech (and ending) sound hollow and forced.

I really didn't like this episode. It felt rushed. It tried to cover far too much far too quickly, and it failed. But, despite all that, i am hoping that future episodes will bring some sort of clarity about what happened. And hopefully some closure about Kevin and his family, too. I want loose ends to get tied up properly and i believe that maybe, with time, the important ones will be. Slow burning subplots are kinda quintessential to Night Vale's writing at this point anyway. Brinknor definitely missed the mark with this one, but they're still incredibly talented writers and i'm not ready to give up on them like some of the other fans on here.

Besides, i think that some of Night Vale's worst episodes are still incredible pieces of writing in their own right. The bad episodes are only bad in comparison to the dozens upon dozens of absolutely phenomenal episodes that make up the rest of a show that is, for the most part, a joy to listen to. So, here's to some hopefully better episodes in the future, i guess.

[zethry]

So, I just woke up at the terrible hour of three in the morning and as I am trying to fall asleep, my brain keeps shoving an idea in my face: Meet Me At the Goblin Market. At the moment it is a soft, cozy idea, but who knows what will happen as the story develops. (Especially since this idea lacks most elements of a story at the moment and is just “write a goblin story.”)

Anyway, the Idea is this: what if I wrote a fantasy story (I am partial to novels, but never finish anything so this could be abandoned quickly….thanks ADHD) about goblins and outright said the antisemitisc stuff. I mean, you know, the quiet part. Out Loud. Something like this, perhaps:

“Goblins get a bad rap. And even though we are a fantasy race, it is often antisemitism at its core. The skin color, the nose, the “obsession” with money (as if any other human besides a Jew could never be “obsessed” with money), the list goes on. Goblins are not Jewish. Well, I’m sure some of them might be, but that was a personal choice to convert between the goblin and their rabbi.”

Is this a terrible idea? I feel like it would be a good thing, but part of me is scared that there might be internalized antisemitism showing up that I don’t know about (and which is completely unintended, though learning that would be a good thing because then I could unlearn stuff and Do Better.) and that would be Bad. Does that make sense??? There is just so much antisemitism going on (more than usual), what with Israel-Palestine.

This is turning into a ramble… So. Good idea? Bad idea?

Edit based on someone’s tags to clarify something that didn’t even occur to me: while this would be from the goblin’s POV, it isn’t to reclaim anything because I am Not Jewish. As a non-jew, it would be icky and actually perpetuating antisemitism if I tried to reclaim. (Can’t reclaim something that was never mine.) And The Point of the story isn’t about antisemitism, that is just a topic that would be raised. Hopefully that makes sense.

I think my little excerpt is also misleading! I should have phrased the skin/nose/etc part differently! I want to say that that description came from antisemitism, but that it isn’t even necessarily accurate to any goblin. (Because isn’t the description used to vilify Jewish people and make them “ew gross icky bad” like goblins are traditionally viewed?) I was trying to say that those traits are supposed to be goblin traits and they were taken from how people see Jewish people. I still don’t think I am phrasing this properly, but want to get this out there and don’t have time to edit!

[devouredbyflame]

Good morning! It’s Ari, again.

I might drop by to DM sometime, but since I’m about to work, I didn’t want to be rude and just DM/start a conversation to throw questions at you and run off lol I’d rather DM to get to know someone if that makes sense. I thought it might be more appropriate to drop little questions here if any really drive me nuts while I’m reading your blog in the meantime.

If I ever ask anything you don’t want to share, feel free to say so! I’m trying to understand what I’ve read you say about finding your path yourself and avoiding echo chambers when you should be learning from the Divine, so I’m gonna try to limit my questions, but between my having ADHD, anxiety, and just generally being kind of detail-oriented, I still find myself fixated on specific details a lot

So with that ramble out of the way (sorry, I’m kinda long-winded, I’m sure you noticed in my email lol) my actual question(s) for today!:

(I see how long this got, so for a summary, this jumble of questions is about the likenesses of Deities you mention putting on altars)

In your first post about altar creation, I saw you say one of the things you need is a likeness of the Deity you’re making it for. It might be a silly question, but what really counts as a “likeness”? Is it just anything made with the intention of being His likeness? Or are we supposed to make an intuitive guess? I could see maybe going by personal UPG, but assuming we’re just starting out and not confident in anything like that, trying to make the altar to connect in the first place, I’m wondering how we know what we’re looking for.

Since I’m not able to practice openly at home, but my family knows I was a bigger fan of Hiddleston Loki than the MCU itself, I was thinking of finding a good/affordable figure of MCU Loki. So if the owner of the household rifles through my things, as she’s prone to do, and she finds a candle, a marvel figure and a couple of (to her) random things in a box, she’s more likely to think it’s just a box of knickknacks. But I’m afraid this will be seen as some kind of joke, I don’t want to be too familiar, in case I’ve been wrong about my connecting to Him so far.

Final thought- do Deities even really have human-looking appearances? I see Loki appearing differently to different people, especially as a shapeshifter, but is it really a thing that any of Them look a certain way? Like I’ve read you talk about meeting Him face-to-face when He has possessed people in front of you, and how He’s your roommate/in-and-out-of-your-body way of being with you now. But is there a way you “see” Him? And is that a way He’s appeared to you, in a dream or meditation or something, or is it just kinda a creative idea of how He looks?

Sorry for the length, and any errors! I’d stop to edit it down and fix run-on sentences, but I’m already kinda late starting work (oops). So I hope you have a good day! Hopefully I’ll have time to actually chat this weekend, if you’re open to that!

Hi Ari! You're totally fine. I love answering questions so give me what you got and I can do my best to further clarify for you. And also, I am ADHD so I 100% understand the need for detail-oriented clarification. My numerous questions is how I got to where I am today because I would ask Loki so many things about how stuff works so I can better grasp the nature of the concept. I am more than delighted to share what I've learned, how it works, and why it's been successful and that's kind of the point of my being here.

My answers are also really long-winded and mostly because I have a lot of knowledge and experiences and very few places to share it so bear with me.

So, in regards to the likeness question, I would say anything that is made with the intention of it being the Deity in question would be the best point of reference. However, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be an obvious representation, just something that is synonymous with Their energy. Like, if you had a candle vaguely in the shape of the Deity in question or a clay model, a doll, or a picture that reminds you of Them, that also works. The purpose is to draw the energy of that particular Deity into the shrine which means you would need to "open the door" to both sides. Like, the Deity would need to know it is for Them as well as you so you can look at it and go, "ah, yes, that is the God in question." You would think They wouldn't care because They know your heart and your intention, but it is easiest when the object is designed with the God in mind.

That being said, I personally had MCU Loki on my altar for a year or two when I first began, knowing Loki probably was aware of my situation and that I needed to be closeted until I had my own place to live. I don't think it would necessarily be a problem if you have Tom Hiddleston instead of Loki Himself. When I got my own place, I got Him a statue carved out of wood and quite a bit of art by various artists I've found who I think draw Him really well.

The whole debate about whether or not Loki cares for MCU Loki itself is complex and I can possibly get into that in more detail if anyone is ever interested. But based on my experiences with Him, He has indicated that no, He doesn't really care for it to be on your shrine. It's fine if that's what you need to be conspicuous. He only really seems to care if you don't ask Him if it's okay. The point, I think, He wants to make is that by asking Him His opinion, He will make it okay because you gave Him your reasoning and didn't just assume. Which makes sense considering a shrine is a Deity's possession and not a devotee's after the point of making it a shrine. So, as long as you're asking His permission to use it on His shrine, I think that's absolutely clear with Him.

I cannot speak for Him, but I sincerely doubt He would ever wish to put you in the way of any danger when it comes to His shrine being made. However, I know Him to be very possessive of His belongings and prefers giving His consent with certain things. If you invite Him when creating a shrine, He will more than likely give you a sense of what you need to be doing for Him and whether or not it's okay. If you don't trust that, using a pendulum, flipping a coin, or other "yes/no" random generators are helpful. I wouldn't worry too much that you are afraid of insulting Him just because you don't have an option.

Just don't ask Him multiple times the same question because that's when He starts giving false answers. It can get aggravating but typically He doesn't like having only one-sided answers and would prefer to say both "yes" and "no" because He tends to swing both ways when talking about the nature of Himself as well as the Gods since it's never only ever just one single way.

I think He does mind Tom Hiddleston being used as His likeness if you have no reason to hide your shrine and if you don't ask His permission to so so He may say "no" but then "yes" later on given His consent and an explanation of your reasoning.

Now, I don't know your situation, obviously, and there's no reason for you to get into more detail about it to some random stranger on the internet but I will point out that having a shrine is a lot less obvious than you would think. People won't know what they are looking at if they are not pagan. I kept my shrine on my desk for the years I was closeted and my ex who was an atheist as well as my Christian parents did not know what they were looking at unless I specifically told them what it was. Even then, they were confused. I think unless the people you live with know what a pagan is or what a shrine should be, you likely are going to be fine even if they go through your belongings.

I recommend keeping it in a shoe box somewhere or an even smaller box that's tucked away somewhere no one will get to it even if they are looking. It's probably for the best regardless because it would keep other energy from getting to it that would be less than savory and could interrupt the energetic transaction between Loki and yourself.

Also, in regards to appearances, no, Loki does not have a physical appearance whatsoever. He is energy and energy does not have a form that we can see clearly with our two eyes. He likes to call Himself an "orb of light" and that He "floats around all day and does not do much of anything on this physical plane except wait around for stuff to happen."

I have seen Him manifest physically before but it is not human-like nor is it remotely something that is a common occurrence. It looks like glimmers of golden light that shines in the corner of my eye and flashes before it can ever be seen fully. My cats see Him all the time, actually, and watch as He zooms around the apartment and plays with them since cats have a keener sense of vision than we do.

So, no, He does not have any actual human-like qualities. However, it is my understanding that the way we perceive Him is translated by various triggers in our brain. Just like how we visualize a person as they are described that we haven't seen before, Loki essentially has a means to assist people with seeing Him who may have trouble recognizing who He is so He gives a common appearance. He's explained to me that when it's important for someone to know who they are looking at, He will appear to them as a lanky ginger with long red hair, golden eyes and pointed ears. But if it's not, then He can show up as anyone He wants to in any way.

So I suppose it's both the way He wants to be seen and also our own brains piecing together visuals that He triggers and we conceptualize as vaguely human but very obviously not given the amount of energy that resonates off of Him. So it's both intentional that He looks the same way to a lot of people while also being intentional when He doesn't. Regardless of where, how, and why He manifests, though, He feels the exact same way all the time and you'll know who He is just by being in His presence. So, I suppose, also, it doesn't truly matter about what He looks like on your shrine.

I hope that answers your questions (probably more info than you ever asked for) but I'm always open to clarifying things here and otherwise and that goes with anyone who stumbles on my blog. That's why I'm here. Also, yes, please DM whenever you want! I love meeting people. It's my favorite. Talking about this shit is my jam.

[pretty-boys-book-club]

quick life updates no one's asked for

i'm alive

not just existing, but actually living. and part of that living involves writing. sure, i may be knee-deep in edits (might have written and rewritten some chapter 4 or 5 times), but progress is progress, right? at least i'm putting words on the screen

i'm moving out on my own for the first time ever. and let me tell you, scared shitless about not having enough money for paying for things like internet installation and a fridge. thank the universe for my worryingly vast collection of mugs; at least i won't need to worry about buying glasses any time soon!

on a more personal note, i'm in the midst of seeking a diagnosis for adhd and autism (really surprising to me, tbh). process has been long and seems like i still have a fair bit to go. but it's something i put myself into so hopefully i get some sense of closure? has anyone on here been through this and felt scared that their doctor would say they're just too weird and no diagnosis fit into what they have/feel?

other than that, life's been just work work work lately (all work and no play makes cat a dull girl and all that jazz). but hey, gotta pay those bills, right?

now, onto the lighter stuff. i recently matched with someone on bumble who shares my love for twin peaks and criminal minds. we had a good chat for a couple of days… before they disappeared into the abyss. ah, the joys of modern dating.

somehow i hit around 1.2k followers during all this time? thanks for sticking around for my ramblings, i guess

oh, and did i mention my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks? another year older, hopefully a none the little wiser.

and last but not least, i've hit the four-month mark at my new job. it may not seem like a big deal, but i'm trying to cherish every single milestone after being dismissed out of nowhere last year

stay weird, you guys

cat

[leopardmuffinxo]

Hey, hope it's ok to send you an ask too!

First I wanna say you are SO insanely talented at character creation and making gifs, oml, whenever I see your OCs on my dash I'm like woow hello gorgeous! Love that they all have such cool stories too!

So here's my question, which of your OCs would get along, which wouldn't and if you could have one in your party as a companion, who would it be and what would their dynamic be?

Also, do you play them all simultaneously or finish one run and then start another?

Hope you'll have a great day!

slkjdflksjfklsdjf !!! Omg this legit made me tear up just a bit. Thank you so so much. You're too sweet! ♡ Asks are always welcome! I just sometimes take a second to respond lol.

Character creation has always been one of my favorite parts playing any game with a CC, and gif making is so relaxing for me when I don't feel like gaming, so that truly means a lot. ♡

Now for your questions. I'll stick to my BG3 OCs (that have current playthroughs going on), otherwise we'll be here forever lol. I've actually thought about this a lot in the past, so answering this on my blog is fun. Just be jabbing myself a bit, but I feel like I'm not the best at putting my thoughts together and I tend to ramble, so this may be a bit all over the place. Good ol' ADHD brain. Hopefully one day I'll have ALL of their backstories written in a way that makes sense lol.

Who would they would/would not get along with:

Raven: She's snarky, sarcastic, and flirty but also very closed off to deeper conversations from anyone she's not close to. (In her mind, sharing secrets to her gives someone a power over you, so she avoids things like that at all costs.) I like to compare her to Mazikeen from the show Lucifer, because they're incredibly similar with their personalities. For this reason, she would get a long with almost everyone listed, except for Ember or Talon. Her and Kyvoni would def get along the most, as they share similar humor (and pasts). Her and Iris have... physical history, so Iris is still quite hurt regarding it, so they're wouldn't be on the best of terms.

Ember: To those who don't know her, she comes off as very serious and stoic, with a very regal aura about her. Also the literal biggest bookworm. Her and Juniper are sisters, with Ember being the older one, so they get along as well as and bicker as sisters do. Raven and Kyvoni would get on her nerves with their constant snark, so she would avoid them. She, Iris, Velvet, and Khione would get along amazingly. She would def pick Khione's brain about all things magic and share their favorite books. (Khione also writes and reads smut, so I always thought about her introducing those things to Ember lol.) Ember and Talon... might just kill each other. Keep them apart.

Juniper: She's pretty much the opposite of her older sister. Very much go with the flow and completely fine with spontaneity, unlike Ember who prefers structure. While Ember loves her younger sister, they bicker a lot now that their older since Juniper took the warlock route, instead of learning magic the "old fashion way" like her sister. Her patron is a couatl, so it's not like her pact is evil, but Ember still isn't happy with the way she went about things. Her and Iris would be best friends in an instant. She'd def lock on to Khione as another older sister figure, due to her draconic sorcerer background. She's pretty indifferent about the others, although she might pick up some of Raven's lewd humor.

Iris: An absolute sweetheart of a bard. Natural flirt, of course. Who doesn't love a pretty purple tiefling? As mentioned above, she had a fling with Raven and fell hard. Raven didn't return her feelings, so there's some hard feelings on Iris' end. She would get a long great with everyone, and even get Talon to crack a smile every now and then. She loves to bring positivity to any situation, so it's hard for most people to dislike her, as hard as they might try. Her and Velvet would be best friends.

Kyvoni: He's pretty intimidating on the outside, which he prefers. It keeps most people out of his space and out of his business. He can be snarky, usually going off into asshole territory with some of his sarcasm. Ember and Juniper wouldn't dislike him, but probably wouldn't pursue a friendship with him. They're just too different in that aspect. Him and Raven get along great and have constant banter. They sometimes both have a very lewd sense of humor, which gets on the others nerves quite often lol. Him and Talon would be fine, and have a mutual respect for one another.

Talon: She's very prickly lol. She's pretty abrasive and blunt most of the time, even when it's not needed. She has tattoos over a lot of her body, mostly depicting snakes within them, so she looks intimidating to most people. (I'll figure out how to implement them in game one day.) Due to this, she doesn't get along with most of my other OCs at first, but would eventually warm up to Iris and Velvet, since they would go out of their way to get to know her softer side.

Khione: She's incredibly intelligent, and sweet... most of the time. Think Evie from The Mummy. She is a draconic sorcerer, so of course she's well versed in magic without trying, and specializes in ice magic, though she's not really much of a show-off. She prefers to let her mind impress people. As mentioned above, she's a bookworm and a writer, so her and Ember would get along great, especially after she helps mend her relationship with her sister. Khione can match Raven and Kyvoni when it comes to their wit, which will throw them both off at first, but they'll come to be good friends.

Velvet: She's very much a mix of sweet and spicy. She feels the spice is needed, as some people are put off by her being a half-drow, necromancer, and for her eyes which are black voids. (A side effect from a spell when she was younger and just getting into necromancy.) She would get a long with Talon, despite Talon's spiky nature. They have a lot in common with their backgrounds, so Velvet would be able to crack her shell. Iris constantly comments on how pretty she is, which blossoms their friendship. She would get a long fine with the rest of them, though they might not become as close as Talon and Iris.

If you have any questions about ones I maybe didn't mention together, feel free to ask!

Obviously I love all my bbys, but if I could have one in my party as a companion, it would be Kyvoni. He's an ex member of Zhentarim, and has a long, sordid past he would prefer to keep secret. He would def agree to anything that gets you paid or intimidation tactics at the beginning. He has a bit of a temper, and can be incredibly impulsive. He would be a tough nut to crack in opening up when it comes to his past or feelings about things, whether it be a friendship or romance path. A romance path would def have a scene were he intentionally pushes you away or tries to get you to hate him. He's dangerous, and already had someone close to him hurt because of it. He doesn't want to go through it again and has sworn off of matters of the heart. (Hoping to eventually dig deeper into what everyone would be like as a companion.)

I play all of them simultaneously, just depending on who's story I feel like playing at the time. Sometimes I play a certain character for days; other times, I switch characters multiple times within the hour. Just depends! I actually still haven't finished the game, but didn't really mind ending spoilers, so I have a good idea of who will do what. I'm currently working on act 3 with a lot of them.

Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry for the rambling lol. ♡

[phdmama]

Congrats to you, @thehoneybeet! That's so great, and I always think the more ideas the better!! So yeah, 100% cosign, get those accommodations!

For me, it was really tough to finally acknowledge that my ADHD is, in fact, a disability, but once I started to integrate that, it helped me to 1) offer myself some grace when things are hard and 2) realize there was no way for me to just power through it, and I'd never ever expect anyone else to do that!

So, this will be a bunch of rambling about things I think about and things that work for me - hopefully there will be some helpful things!

For general life:

Self-care on the fundamentals. Getting enough sleep (earlier), taking my meds, eating well, exercising, taking down time (this can be hard in grad school because there always something else to be doing haha so I think it's important to actually put it on the calendar, so you know you have permission to be just hanging out or relaxing or whatever). Connecting with people who love you. Connecting with people who are there to support you - therapist, coaching, tutoring, whatever might help.

I think it's useful to get a good sense of where your particular struggles manifest. For me, initiation and time management are really big struggles. Once I'm on task, I can usually keep going (hyper focus haha) - but switching is really tough. I'm one of those "I have to do something at 2 so I can't do anything until then). So here are things I do.

I rely heavily on schedules and alarms. I put everything in my google calendar and I put alerts on all of them - as many as I think I might need. I also really need the visual, so until I went back to work, I wrote the week's schedule on a whiteboard on my fridge, but now with me working, my whole family life got more complicated so we now have a spreadsheet we fill out every Sunday with who needs to be driven where and who gets which car, as well as planning out dinners for the week. I make a grocery list based on that plan and we've been sticking to it pretty well. (I literally print it out and color code it).

Timers are super helpful for me when I have a set amount of time for one thing. I am working on training myself to just respond to it. Like, I might have 10 minutes in the morning to read, so I'll set the timer, which lets me relax and just read, trusting the external scaffold. I also do this in meetings and stuff at work, so I know I won't lose track of the time.

It's important for me to build habits. My work badge and parking pass always go in the outer pocket of my backpack, so I haven't lost it (so far). Keys always go in my little purse that goes either in my backpack or hangs on the bannister. I know I tend to be careless and like, my brain is always ahead of my body so I lose stuff, misplace stuff, so building in structures for where stuff goes really does help (shoes always go in the shoe rack, that sort of thing). I've used the Tile in that past and now I use find my... more than I wish I had to, but it helps! I lay out workout clothes so I can get on the treadmill first thing in the morning (the only time I really have for it).

It was really helpful for me to figure out where I get derailed and be realistic about what I can and can't do. Like when I was driving my kids to school every day, I realized that I get really thrown off when I have to leave the house and come back, so working on ways to reduce the time I spent noodling around before getting to what I need to be doing was helpful. I really want to to be writing and I'm trying to figure out when my brain isn't too tired and when I have time. It's a work in progress for sure.

For graduate school. I think so much of this is the same. Knowing what you need for productive working conditions. Do you need music? No music? Do you have a dedicated work space? Do you need one? When I was in phd school, I literally wrote 85% of my dissertation at a Starbucks, somehow it worked for me. I've gotten much better about being able to work at home, but I never used to be able to. I also think this organizational stuff is so good. I think putting everything in your calendar, or using a paper calendar, or whatever might work for you is necessary. I put deadlines in, and I also put the along the way deadlines - when is the paper due? What are the parts of it that I need to do along the way? Setting those deadlines and figuring out how to carve up your time. Are you someone who does better with setting a time (like 2 hours on this project) or a task (write the intro and start the lit review etc). Like, I would print out blank monthly calendars for the semester, and then put all my deadlines on them and post it on my wall so I could be checking in every week, and look ahead to things like those weeks where you have a paper and an exam and a project. So knowing where I'd have to get stuff done early (which is... not my forte).

For me, as well, medication has been a really crucial tool. I take Wellbutrin (for depression and the ADHD), guanfacine (which I take for Long Covid but happily is an ADHD med) and I have a prn stimulant which really does help. I don't take it every day, but when I really need to focus, it definitely helps.

A thing I've had to work really hard on is the cognitive flexibility of assessing as I go and adjusting. My brain can be really rigid, and realizing that things might work sometimes and might stop so I need to pay attention. And back to that whole, offering yourself some grace.

I really do recommend checking out what your campus has for both academic supports but also counseling. I spent years working in college counseling centers and let me tell you, I'd be DELIGHTED to have a grad student come in at the beginning of the semester to work on all of this stuff proactively! That's what they're there for!

Okay that's probably WAAAAY more than you wanted! I am so happy to be a support if you need one as well, feel free to message me if I can help in anyway!

Ok. How do you manage to write/work/have a PhD with ADHD? I'm about to go back to grad school and fully in the struggle. Truly, any tips appreciated!

Oh pal! I wish I had a better answer for you which is that I wasn’t working full time when I was writing a lot - I was either working part-time or in school! So now that I’m working full-time, I’m trying to figure out how to write something more than a vignette!

That being said, I have lots of strategies for managing a busy life with ADHD, so if those would be helpful, let me know!

Also congratulations on grad school!! What a huge accomplishment!! ❤️

[buckys-little-belle]

Cafe BigNSmall - Steve Rogers (Chapter Two)

Smartie Pants

Steve x Little!Reader (He/Him Pronouns)

Warnings - None really, Steve is very self conscious about his ability to be a caregiver … something hinted at in Bucky and Bub’s Cafe BigNSmall recent chapter, and once again hinted at here, more to come on that topic in the future!

Notes - I kind of wrote Bug very nurodivergent, because I am, and Bug’s love for different topics like bugs and plants, is something I can relate to. Idk, I just wanted some rep for my non normal brained peeps who are like me and so I kind of tied that in. I have ADHD and possibly autism (I am getting tested, hopefully soon, we just have to make my psychiatrist actually care about me first) so I’m sure that might help you understand Bug a bit more, I don’t know. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and with this blog, SFW.

- - - - - -

Bug had shown up to the cafe at quarter to four, that way he could make sure Steve would sit in Bug’s favourite booth. He had tried other booths, but people often wanted window seats, the people being pairs of caregivers and littles, something Bug had always been jealous of, hiding in the back corner to avoid his jealousy.

When he got inside he noticed his table was taken, a head with a hat sat with their back to the door. Bug frowned, confused as to who would sit in that booth when others were open, and a bit disappointed when he realized he could no longer there. Bug approached the counter, waiting for someone to take his order, one orange juice, like always. “One moment.” A lady called out, currently making another order along the counter.

The person’s head turned, revealing Steve sat in the booth, his body movement showing a coffee and juice placed on the table. “Bug?” Steve called out, Y/n turned his head, not at the nickname but at the sheer volume of the voice. He smiled, quickly walking towards the table, a sense of relief washing over him. “Hi.” Steve said, gesturing for Bug to sit on the booth seat in front of him.

“‘m you’re early.” Y/n remarked, placing his bag on the seat first, scooting in after it. “I thought you said you would be done at four?” He asked.

“I did, but I got off early and couldn’t wait.” Steve smiled, pushing the juice closer to Bug as Steve took a sip of his coffee. “Did you bring your book?” Steve asked.

“Yah.” Bug said, pulling a book out of his backpack, the cover titled ‘Rose Facts.’ “‘s all about roses.” He smiled, setting the book on the table and reaching for the juice, taking a quick sip.

Steve smiled back, his heart beating fast, his mind occupied with trying not to mess this up. “Do you like roses?” He asked, internally rolling his eyes at the silly question.

“Yah, I love yellow roses the most though.” Bug said, opening the book to a page that was marked with a sticky note, the left page covered in pictures of yellow roses, and the right side covered in writing, some highlighted.

“Why yellow?” Steve asked, scanning the highlighted words to try and understand the flower more, and to see what bug liked so much about them.

“They mean joy.” Y/n said matter of factly, pointing to a highlighted sentence. “They come from the Middle East and Asia! They grow as wild flowers there.” He rambled, continually sipping his juice.

“Wow.” Steve whispered, unsure of how to respond.

“Europeans found them in the 18th century. Now we grow them over here too.” Bug continued, still pointing to different pictures and words, like he had memorized the page, because he had.

Steve was just in awe, somehow he found this smart boy who loved orange juice and enjoyed spending time with him, and Steve didn’t know what to do with that information. He felt like he didn’t deserve this mundane type of life, sitting in a cafe with someone, drinking coffee and learning about yellow roses. He was a captain, an army man, the face of America, he felt like he belonged here so well yet also shouldn’t be here.

Bug interrupted his thoughts. “What’s your favourite flower Stevie?” He asked, looking at Steve with waiting eyes.

“Oh. I, I don’t think I have one.” He breathed, slowly realizing he never really had time to pick favourite flowers, colours, foods, he just had what he was given. “Yah, I don’t have one.” He said.

“That’s okay.” Bug happily said, pulling out a small yellow notebook and pen from his bag. When he opened it Steve saw how full it was, random note jotted down on each page front and back, just a couple spots left on the last two pages. “I can bring my flower book next time and you can pick one!” He exclaimed, quickly writing down ‘Flower book for Stevie.’ in the notebook, his happy face quickly fading away as he looked up. “Only if you want to come back!” He hurriedly said, his voice uneasy.

“I would love that Bug.” Steve said. “I would also like to see you again.” He chuckled, smiling and hoping that his words convinced Y/n that he meant it when he said he wanted to come back.

Bug smiled and quickly began rambling again, something Steve began to cherish, the random facts and enthusiasm that Y/n brought made him happy and feel like he really liked Steve’s company. “I think you’ll like Sunflowers.” Bug smiled.

“Why’s that?” Steve questioned.

“Because you are pretty much like a sunflower.” Bug explained. “You’re tall, you have always been popular, you know Sunflowers are always popular?” He asked in the middle of listing off facts, Steve shaking his head at the question. “You are also super popular, from the war and now.”

“You know who I am?” Steve asked, Bug hadn’t made any comment to make Steve think he knew he was Captain America till now.

“Your pin.” Bug said, taking the last sip of his juice, pointing to Steve’s jacket, a small metal pin of his shield on display. Steve just looked confused still, trying to figure out how Bug had solidified his identity from a small pin. “I jus’ looked up the pin, and you showed up.” He explained, shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh.” Steve sighed, honestly not really sure how to approach the conversation from here.

“I like the Falcon better.” Bug blurted out, his head in his book. “He can fly.”

Steve laughed, of course Bug liked the super hero that could fly, like a bug. “I’m a little hurt.” Steve joked.

“It’s not my fault you’re kind of boring.” Bug said, looking Steve in the eyes. “I like the shield though, is it heavy?” He asked.

“Not really.” Steve answered. “It looks heavy, but it’s super light, very aerodynamic.”

Bug looked at Steve confused, and then opened his note book again, writing something down and then looking back. “I don’t know what you mean but I’ll look it up.” Bug smiled. “Oh, Sunflowers!” Bug quietly ‘yelled’, his face lighting up, remembering his original thought. “They are native to the america’s, and you are Captain America, so it works.” He smiled, Steve smiling back.

“You are so smart.” Steve laughed, looking at Bug with complete adoration, genuinely impressed by how much knowledge he had stored in his head.

“Thanks.” Bug responded, his cheeks heating up, an embarrassed smile gracing his face. Putting his note book away and turning the badge of his rose book, diving back into the pictures and facts.

Steve on the other hand sat in his seat, scanning the book this time for an author name, trying to figure out how many other book they had written, maybe he could buy Bug some. Though he knew Bug needed a new notebook first, maybe some fun pens, a pencil case, of course maybe a bee eraser, he started to figure out where he could buy yellow pencils, not the regular ones, ones that would match the pencil case. But as his head was filling with thoughts about things to buy Bug, things that could help Bug, he realized he isn’t Bug’s care taker, he couldn’t just buy him things like that out of the blue.

Steve sighed, he watched as Bug scanned the pages, taking in all the information he could. Steve knew him and Bug would get along, he just had to stick to proving to Bug he wanted to be there, orange juice was a good start, maybe he would do what Bucky did and throw in some cake pops, get to know Bug, and let Bug get to know him.

Steve wasn’t ready to mess up another little’s life because he was busy, this time Steve would take his time, he would make sure he was available, he would make sure he could be the caregiver he wanted to be, not the caregiver he thought he was. Stepping down as Captain America had begun months ago, and the official ceremony couldn’t come quick enough.

[baphomets-hairy-bonkhonagahoogs]

Okay instead of Portal 2’s humor I’m going to talk about Wheatley next instead. Because I have more fully formed thoughts about this than I do the large, nebulous, and intimidating topic that is “Portal 2’s comedy”.

So, Wheatley. An incredible voice performance, a likeable enough character who (to me at least) has a pretty logical progression from Friend to Foe. But, the more I think about him the more he irks me. Not just from a “I don’t care for him as a person/character” perspective, but from a meta writing perspective as well.

It is a major part of the story that Wheatley was literaly designed to be a moron. To be stupid. To fill GLaDOS’ head with time wasting thoughts and ideas. He is described as a tumor. However, Wheatley isn’t really that stupid at all.

Wheatley is often unobservant, takes a long time to think, and accidentally bumbles into trouble, sure. When GLaDOS calls him out by pointing out that Chell did all the work to install Wheatley into the big powerful position over Aperture, I largely agree with her. But while Chell did do all the heavy lifting and many times came up with better solutions to achieving their shared goals, Wheatley did do a good amount of guiding and planning. He made it a goal to take out GLaDOS’ turrets and neurotoxin and then he executed that plan with Chell’s help. Chell very likely would have come to the same idea herself of course but it was Wheatley who ended up proposing it. Wheatley also helped to direct Chell around Aperture. Again, Chell would have been able to find her way around by herself but Wheatley did bring that knowledge set to the table. I believe that it would have been extraordinarily more difficult for Chell if Wheatley wasn’t around to help out in the first half of the game.

He isn’t uselessly stupid. In fact he proves himself to be resourceful and clever sometimes as well! He plants the explosive trap at the stalemate button because he saw it bite GLaDOS in the ass, he got rid of (almost) everything that could have hosted a portal on it, he gave himself multiple blast sheilds because that also bit GLaDOS in the ass.

Wheatley doesn’t feel stupid to me. Often his downfall is his insecurities or luck being against him (such as the moon becoming visible for Chell to shoot at) rather than being too stupid. Which brings me to my main point. Wheatley isn’t a stupidity core but rather an ADHD core that comes free with the insecurities that often follow ADHD people around.

I myself have ADHD, and ADHD is different for everyone. I want to make that clear. I can only speak from my own perspective on the matter. But, I find myself often relating to Wheatley.

We both have hyperactive minds that spew out thoughts before we can process if they make much sense or not. We both get easily distracted and ramble in a train of consciousness style. For an example of this look towards Wheatley telling Chell about the robot myths and stories about Aperture and its history while they both navigate behind the scenes in the first half of the story. We both think up obtuse, unconventional (yet creative) solutions to problems that are at times unnecessarily and often inefficient. For an example, see Wheatley’s frankenturrets or all the ways he tries to chase the high of the euphoria of testing. I often feel stupid or like “a moron” myself when I’m forced to work within a structure built for neurotypicals and inevitably fall behind. Remember earlier when I said that Wheatley is more often defeated by his insecurities than his supposed lack of intelligence? Well that insecurity stems from his own frustration at himself or ridicule from others when he can’t succeed at what is expected of him by himself or others (GLaDOS mainly). This is painfully relatable. His rejection sensitivity is delt with my lashing out and trying to maintain a level of control over the facility (not a very healthy way to deal with it, but it’s definitely more interesting for the story’s sake). When his intelligence is insulted he takes it very hard, I’d guess seeing it as a form of rejection, and overcompensates with classical music and “reading” Machiavelli. I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting as I write this, but I hope I’ve got my point across.

Wheatley isn’t stupid, he just has ADHD symptoms. And often times people with ADHD are read as stupid, and ADHD traits are assigned to characters who are supposed to be stupid. I’d hope that it is obvious why this is problematic. And the issue isn’t exclusive to Portal 2 by any means. For example, Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec probably just has ADHD with a big does of impulsivity.

Does all this make me hate Wheatley as a character? No actually. This is a systemic problem that I feel as though many creatives don’t even realize what they’re doing as they do it. I believe it’s ignorance in good faith over malice in bad faith. Is it okay if this makes you hate the way Wheatley is written and ruins him for you? Of course! It’s a personal thing. I simply wanted to share because if I can help other people notice it then hopefully it should stop happening.

While I don’t believe it’s intentional, I think it ends up saying a lot about how an ADHD person ends up getting treated in an environment literally not made for them. And power corrupts, of course, so I have a hard time seeing it as a “neurodivergent people are evil or bad people” narrative. Anyone who is given so much power is gonna turn fuckin’ evil, see GLaDOS or the disgustingly capitalist Cave Johnson (Though he was pretty evil from the get go. I’ll talk about Cave more when I talk about Portal 2’s comedy). Wheatley’s only flaws aren’t his symptoms either. He’s just kinda sexist as well, this shines through in little ways like his assumption that the human who beat GLaDOS was a man. Wheatley is complicated.

In conclusion, I hope that made even a lick of sense. I’ll admit that it was difficult trying to articulate all my thoughts of this in a easy to read way, so I hope I did a good job!

[azazelsconfessional]

(Ya know, seeing that anon ask thing dealing with the game master's "guild leader" made me remember that I was wanting to make a Housamo OC that fit the guild leader role until the actual one was released. But I could never figure out how to make them since no info has been revealed about them. Hell, there might not even BE a guild leader for the GMs. I always invisioned them as someone like jevil from deltarune though for some reason. Just chaotic and insane, while also being locked up out of fear from the other GMs.

Anyways, it's good to see you mun! I hope you're doing alright! Honestly, I'm glad you've had this long rest. It's good to rest your bones every once in a while~. Unless you like cracking bones... I don't know where I was going with this lol. Either way, yeah, good to see ya again!)

((Good to see you all again too! o/ I do like cracking bones a little bit since I have like. Stiff joints and I'm always trying to pop them lol. . .but I rest all the time and that's still the case, so that's clearly not the problem lol I should really be more hydrated I suppose.

On the subject of a Game Masters guildmaster OC, I don't have a problem with it tbh--the problem there was more like. . .besides the lack of notice or discussion on the matter, it just had such a. . .idk. No offense to the person who sent the ask, but it felt forced? And kinda like they didn't know what they were talking about? Like I don't expect people to know every little detail of the game because I sure don't. But it felt like they may not have had been up to date with the story or aware of the lore in question so to speak??? Am I making sense without pointing out the issues I percieved?

Idk maybe I'm being unnecessarily critical of it because it aggrivated me a little bit because it felt like it was shoved at me like that without asking me if I was on board to begin with.

Rambling about lore and theories about a GM gm under the cut

Idkidk. I don't have a problem with the idea of such an OC ofc but I feel like you'd need to really think that kind of thing through, y'know? Like really be on top of the lore for it to work. Idk if they'd be chaotic--I can see them being like. Crazy and morally ambiguous? Because they've sent out Bertro, Curren, and the other kid(probably Alice but we don't know that for sure) to study like human advancement potential through means of War/Violence, Education, and uuh whatever the last one that "Isaac" is supposed to be studying through the Invaders, idr if we know off the top of my head. And that kinda suggests that they had part in their creation as Genius Record Collectors and all, and running the game kinda suggests they may have had something to do eith the experiments in Chiyoda that Arc was part of. . .someone chaotic probably wouldn't have records being kept of everything like they are. :|a Like, what's happening doesn't seem random enough to be run by a chaotic person to me. And a chaotic person would surely not lock away the exceptions for being too powerful/game-ruining, right? They'd let them run around and have op kaiju type battles or something lmao. But that's just my perspective. It'd be a hard OC to make/work with, I think, just because of how little we know like you said. At the same time we know so much that it's just as hard to like. Work something out with all the details we do have.

Tbh I noticed we don't have a Rep for Utopia yet and Curren and Bertro both have robots and they're like manufactured children so I kinda imagine they might be the rep for Utopia? At the same time, someone from the advanced future probably wouldn't want to study evolution/advancement from an angle of the past--how would that benefit the future which already has everything figured out, y'know? And we know that the Exception Solomon is the one that's making the Gates and all work(I think that was the end of Chapter 11. . .I may be remembering what I've read about 12. . .) which is why MC now has to unlock all the Exceptions to get to him--so surely he has something to do with all of this. And the Game came after the Gates did, so the Game is just being used for the convenience of the Reps, right???? And it's somrthing separate that's like. Conveniently in line with what they're trying to do which could also mean it's somrthing that's made/run by someone with a Pillar/who knows/knew what they were trying to accomplish and remembers what's already happened and all and i'm making myself dizzy trying to theorize like this lmao. . . .

But uh. Yeah. Idk. An OC like that would be difficult to make but like more power to people who do really go in and try and make that kind of thing, tbh lol

Anyway, it's good to see everyone, and hopefully i'll be back on top of things soon. I got distracted in the middle of coming to answer things again and ended up spending several hours reading Alice's character and date quests and i'm feeling scatterbrained again lol i keep inconveniencing myself. But i'm working my way back here. I have no sende of the passage of time so it's like. I have no clue how long i've been off but it's probably longer than it feels haha. . .but yeah. I'm doing okay. I'm surviving. I just have adhd up the ass lol. . . .

[vampiredrooling]

Okay, so;

“My pride HC's for him actually tie into more general HC's I have about how fairies work as a whole!! I'll spare you from that whole ramble though ^^'”

Go on? Please?? Ramble your heart out!!

THAT'S SO KIND.. I gave this ramble to my friend yesterday (Ty Eddie :D) SO I'm gonna try and clean it up a little bit, HOPEFULLY it isn't all over the place-

The part that ties into his pride identities specifically; godparents are specially assigned to their perfect godkids! In canon, this is only lightly touched upon, and sometimes it's retconned to say they're assigned randomly, but I think the first option is much more charming and gives Timmy's relationship with them even more meaning! As shown in "Abra-Catastrophe!", most godkids have their godparents for less than a year..it's considered a huge accomplishment to manage to keep your fairies for more than a year, and children who do so are thrown big parties and given a special rule free wish! This makes Timmy an even more special case, he's BEYOND the perfect match for Cosmo and Wanda, to the point where they can not lose him. It is shown that they can not function without each other- they're a family!! In the HC sense, ALL of that to say, due to a lot of Cosmo's traits (dysphoric transman, autistic/adhd, having a mother that's,,not the best,) and Wanda's expertise in being kind, understanding, and extremely helpful and loving towards him, they're both wonderfully equipped to handle such things, and for that reason 95% of the godchildren they have ever been assigned to have been LGBTQ+ and/or neurodivergent. Timmy, for example, is an autistic transboy, making Cosmo and Wanda not only his perfect match in personality, but in helping and understanding him with things that the mostly neglectful humans around him are no help with.

This is why back in the 70's they were assigned to Crocker, and were SUPPOSED to be able to help him in all the same ways they helped Timmy. Things went wrong due to shitty writing and now Crocker is left a broken man due to the unfortunate circumstances- it ideally wasn't supposed to play out that way, but no matter what anyone did, Crocker was destined to prematurely lose his fairies.

This part's unrelated to the pride and specially assigned part, but just continuing on Crocker stuff,, The next thing I believe happens to EVERY past godkid, and that's memory relapses. Most past-godkids at some point in their adult lives will have a weird memory or a strong sense of deja-vu, occasionally remembering an event that occurred with their godparent, but chalking it up to their imagination (as in "Did that happen? No, there's no way." and moving on with their adult lives) Overall, they are pretty harmless, and often mistaken for dreams. This is especially common in godchildren who lose their godparents through the natural process, but that's a whole other story jefhef

POINT IS, Crocker gets these a LOT a lot, more frequently than any other past godkid has. And he NEVER leaves it to his imagination. He is dedicated to proving what he knows to be real, and documents any and everything he remembers. As the series goes on, it is clear that he knows a lot more than he did originally, and is much more invigorated by fairy hunting as a whole (By the end of the series though they stop caring and he's straight up just allowed to talk to Cosmo and Wanda, which I guess is only natural given the show going on WAY way way too long). He's been shown to subconsciously be drawn to pink and green, which I find super fascinating! I believe most godkids grow up to be subconsciously drawn to certain colors and animals that tie back to their prior-godparent. He is also shown to be more drawn specifically to hunting Cosmo, due to the fact that he had only acquired his DNA in the Secret Origins, and him likely being more drawn to Cosmo than Wanda as a child due to him being a transman and father (something he does not have) to look up to. (Not in like a..sappy way or anything though jgbhjg, I'm not sure how to reword that, I hope it doesn't sound silly.) The outline always shown on most of his fairy-hunting devices is Cosmo, the Crocker-Cave has outlines and drawings of him, he has more photos of him (in-part due to Cosmo's obliviousness), aaand if I remember correctly occasionally when Crocker draws fairies he'll give them spiky hair similar to Cosmo's?? Don't quote me on that last one though,,, Throughout the series, he begins to remember more, including fairy weaknesses, traits about fairy culture in general, and even comes VERY very close to remembering Cosmo and Wanda's names on his own which is a big thing that I LOVE

SO! THANK YOU so much for giving me the chance to ramble..I have more HC's and love for FOP than I do any other media and it's so nice to get to talk about em', even if it might not be super coherent :'!!

[nice-kill-tanaka]

[🌄 @methfairy​ requested one (1) regular Ouran High School Host Club matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

I know how you feel bud 😭like what even is gender anymore?? Also, I’ve never written ADHD before, so please let me know if my depiction is inaccurate.

With that said, I think you’d do great with:

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

🌹Haruhi Fujioka🌹

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

You were a commoner. But, your attendance at Ouran High school came through a fine arts scholarship

In your first year at your old high school, you were recognized for your proficiency. Word tends to get around, so even if you weren’t exactly a prodigy, Ouran could clearly see your potential for boosting their reputation (Particularly in their music program)

When you initially got the news, you froze

Like, you actually stopped what you were doing

A million different thoughts were running through your head. But, they crossed your mind so fast that you couldn’t actually register wtf they were

So, it was almost like you completely blanked, but you didn’t. But you did, but you didn’t-

Regardless of any anxieties you had over attending such a prestigious school for your last years of high school, you were primarily excited

Just THINK of the resources Ouran could provide in your journey of the arts

You went into the final meeting for admission bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and sweaty-palmed, but you managed to blow away the chairman and the other staff with your musical prowess and visual artistry. They practically begged you to attend!

The staff even let you pick the uniform you were most comfortable with in regards to your gender

On your first day, you were told that you were to attend private lessons with the head of the fine arts department instead of choosing regular electives. So, you wanted something to do on your own volition

Maybe joining a club would do you well?

Buried in your own thoughts, you bumped into a person around your height of an ambiguous gender (They had on the boys’ uniform, but it didn’t feel quite right to assume)

Readjusting the guitar strapped across your torso, you profusely apologized to the person for not paying attention, unsure of if high status students would freak out over such a thing

To your mind and heart’s relief, the person raised their hands in a calming gesture, brown eyes warm and understanding

“Oh no, it’s fine. Really! It happens to everyone. If anything, I should be apologizing to you. You’re my upperclassman, right?”

‘Oh, geez, they’re cute...’ You thought as you nodded

You explained how you were a new second year, how you were offered a scholarship to attend Ouran, and how unbearably excited you were about having such a wonderful opportunity

“You got here on a scholarship to?? Man, it’s nice to have someone on the same page. I’m Haruhi, by the way.”

You gave Haruhi your name as well, commenting on how you thought their name was nice

You two actually ended up exchanging pronouns, because neither of you were quite sure 😅

Haruhi offered to walk you to your next class since you seemed a little lost, and you eagerly accepted. You wanted the chance to talk to your possible new friend 

You did go off on a few tangents, but Haruhi was an active listener for a specific reason

You were very sporadic in how you explained things. You never spoke in a linear pattern. But, you gave off a down to earth quality that Haruhi had yet to see in her wealthy peers

You understood her jokes, slang, and struggles, and she ultimately appreciated that

For the first time, Haruhi didn’t have to dragged into something to want to pursue it. And that was the case in getting to know you

“Hey, I know you mentioned you were looking for a club, right? I could let you sit in on mine for a bit after school if that alright?”

“Oh man, I’d love to!”

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

After you and Haruhi officially became an item, you agreed to keep your relationship under wraps for the time being

For one thing, if Haruhi’s clients found out “he” was dating someone, there was no telling what they’d do

For another, you two wouldn’t hear the end of it from the host club (In terms of teasing at least 😂)

But, you two still manage to make it work!

Whenever there is a free period during the day, you and Haruhi would always meet in any given secluded area in the school to talk and cuddle a bit

You’d sit between Haruhi’s legs and ramble about a chapter of a book that had the majority of your attention lately. She’d softly brush her fingers through your hair while looking at you like you’re the light of her life (Which you kind of are!)

Your first date was actually at a super nice library near Ouran’s campus!

Once Haruhi found out about your affinity for literature, she thought going to a place full on books only made sense

((You guys ended up pooling your money and buying some fancy tuna 💀))

You found that going to Haruhi with your art or any new music pieces you were working on would really help your artistic process. Having someone look at your work with a fresh and practical eye gave a much needed perspective

Regarding polyamory, Haruhi would be flexible about introducing new people, but she’d have to be convinced. The prospect of having more than one lover was unexplored on her part, so she’d want to know what she was walking into. Knowing her, she wouldn’t choose to love just anyone. It took a while for her to crush on you!

She loves when she visits your place and catches you humming to yourself. Haruhi never mentions it to you, mostly because she doesn’t want you to stop

Haruhi finds your sense of style incredibly unique! Gee, to think someone so small could be so bold in that field. Sometimes she asks you for advice on her own outfits

I think Haruhi would be very understanding about your ADHD. And while she doesn’t quite understand it to the fullest yet, she’s sure to observe and ask questions for your sake. She wants you to be mentally comfortable, and she’ll do what’s in her skillset to make that happen

If you’re comfortable with the idea, you guys tend to joke about your genders a lot, seeing as you both have to give your true pronouns to new people on a regular basis

Haruhi fully supports your plans for after high school, seeing as you have so much potential. She’ll be a bit sad that you won’t be physically together, but she’ll try her best to make things work for you

All in all, to Haruhi, you’re like a sunset on a partly cloudy day, beautiful and colorful, but not too draining. And when you look in its direction, you can’t help but smile to yourself 😊

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[trekkiehood]

Hi, I was wondering how you organize your works in progress especially multichapter ones cuz the way i've been doing it is getting overwhelming for adhd mind to keep track of so i'm looking for new ideas. Thanks!

This has been sitting in my ask box for MONTHS and I keep meaning to answer but I wanted to give an actual thoughtful answer but..... y'know what it doesn't matter here we are.

So "organize" might be a bit of an exaggeration. When it comes to all of my fics as a whole... there's not organization. Like.... I just write whatever one-shot comes to my head and hope my readers don't hate me too much.

But for the individual story I... kinda have a system. Well... three systems which I will try to explain the best I can. Hopefully one will work for you!

1. Write Out the Dialogue First

This one is mainly used in my co-author fics with @pricelesstrashpanda. Essentially we work out all of the conversations, all the dialogue, with nothing but stage directions (i.e. *nods*, *annoyed*,*slams door*) because once that's done... you at least know what the characters are seeing/feeling. Even if you don't have all the logistics, you know what the characters see at the very least.

This is similar to what I did with Polyvagal. Just make sure that you have all the dialogue worked out. Then go back and add all of the narration, setting, a basically the non-dialogue. (The difference here is that I just... left it all dialogue with random blocks of narration, but that's beside the point.)

This system is great if you want to write but can't "story". It lets you get down the skeleton of the story without actually worrying about much else. Even if you just have six different sets of dialogue with random headers to remind you who's talking and about what.

2. Write an Outline

I only really do this when it comes to "really" longfics.... or more accurate "I never meant for it to get this long what on earth am I doing" fics. And typically this is because I've "daydreamed up" several chapters ahead and I'm afraid to lose what I've thought up.

Now this is definitely not a "school approved" outline. Mine are literally just ramblings on bullet points.

An example from One More Year:

As you can see, it's poorly spelled, weirdly worked out, and just generally makes little sense to anyone other than me.

HOWEVER it got me where I needed to be when I didn't have time to write out every little detail. It let me know how long the story was going to be, what I needed to think about, and make sure I had an overarching plot that made sense.

If you do this, I HIGHLY recommend using strikethrough when you've written it. (On Docs you can use Alt+Shift+5 to strikethrough text.) It helps you see where you are and what you need to focus on.

Just poorly explain the entire plot to yourself and when you've written that part, mark it out so you still have it if you want/need it but don't have to think about it.

3. Just Write What's in Your Head

The idea of this makes me cringe in theory, but it's one of the most useful things I've figured out.

Just write it.

That scene from chapter 17 is stuck in your head and playing out PERFECTLY?

Write it.

But... but... you're only on chapter 3!

Oh well!

Write it anyway!

Some of my favorite chapters were the ones written out of order. And it's because the chapter is in no way forced. It's what you wanted to write. So you write it the way you envisioned it without "needing" too.

The rest of the story will play out. Connect the dots. It's much easier to connect the dots than to freestyle.

I hope at least one of these will be useful to you! I know they are all kinda chaotic but they are the way's I've found easiest to stay organized. Otherwise... I'm just free writing and that... never really ends well....

Just write out what you know you know and work from there.

Thanks for asking! Sorry it took so long, but this was truly an honor to receive and answer <3

[shingia]

hi hi hi i'd love to get one of your immaculate matchups pls 👀 i'm not really sure how to go about this because i'm not great at describing myself but i love your matchups so much i had to give it a shot!!! but uh i'm a 5 foot 7 inch tall super chubby she/her and i'm bi but lean towards male-identifying people. i'm an infp and a 6w7 enneagram type! i wear glasses and i have long curly dirty-blonde hair and blue eyes too if that matters. uhhh my love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service - if they reassure me of how much i mean to them etc regularly and/or just do little tasks to help me out in any way i'll absolutely melt omg. and hm i'm basically the comic relief in everyone's life - i have a great sense of humor and i laugh a lot - and i get along well with most people and i make friends easily once i get past my initial shy phase. i have anxiety (who doesn't to some extent though) and adhd which are unfortunately big parts of my personality so i figured i'd mention them esp because not everyone can vibe with someone that has either but uh yeah!!! my hobbies are taking care of animals (i have lots of pets - i esp love reptiles), playing video games, reading (books and fanfic), kayaking and hiking on nature trails when the weather/seasons allow it, and also i write (fanfic ofc but it's still writing). autumn is my favorite season by far and halloween is my favorite holiday which probably says a lot about me tbh. i probably rambled too much but hopefully the more oversharing the better! thank you so much in advance!!! 🥺

🖤 a/n : immaculate? plz my heart- 🥺 thank YOU that’s so sweet <33

i think you would be absolutely per-fect with…

𝐍𝐈����𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐘𝐀 !

keep reading for the explanations~ :

oh my god ok noya would be over the moon with a chubby s/o. i’m sure he’s a firm believer of ‘the more to hold the better’ so he would have heart eyes every time he looks at you, that’s a given

and he’d think it’s really cute that his blonde streaks kinda matches your hair

also, he is literally the incarnation of words of affirmation. you will never have to ask for a compliment or any type of reassurance : whatever you might want, he has already said it

having a funny s/o is probably one of his main criteria (maybe his only one actually), so you’re all good ! and ughhhh the things he would do just to make you smile ? incredible

we know noya’s determination is limitless so as soon as he decides that he will help you with your anxiety and adhd : he 🔊WILL 🔊HELP 🔊YOU

i mean, we’ve seen it during his training scenes with yamaguchi, he’s the most supportive and encouraging friend ever. so as a boyfriend? even better

about halloween, i think it’s one of the rare moments where noya embraces the fact that he looks like a grade schooler, because that means he can go trick or treating without people telling him he’s too old for this. honestly, you’d have a blast every year

he’s definitely the kind of person that gets tons of serotonin from walking on crispy leaves (head empty, just noya enjoying autumn weather <33)

he would probably LOVE that you have so many different hobbies, because it means all of your dates are unique and rly entertaining

one of his favorite things to do with you is to go to a shelter just to think about which animals you would adopt when you’ll live together (🥺🥺)

<33 (writing this put me in the best mood so thank you !)

[luci-cunt]

hi im super sorry to bother you! but i was wondering if you had any writing tips? im like really bad at writing, like fleshing out ideas and then building on them? and i see your writing and im always amazed because everything is so put together!! also there's no pressure to answer this if you dont want to! 😊

asjfd;lsakdj why are all nonnies so worried about annoying me?? I love you guys??? especially when you say shit like thsi??? my brain is leaking out my ears aldskjf;lasdkj <3333

also: jasl;dkfjasd oh my god you think my writing is put together?? aslkdfj;asldkjf <333 ajsd;fasjdlfkjaljdf

This got a little away from me so here’s a TL;DR:

Hoard your writing

Realize it probably doesn’t look as bad as you think it does

GET INTO YOUR WORLD!

Characters make worlds

You’re your own carpenter and other peoples writing strategies probably won’t 100% work for you

Writing’s kinda like acting well: get in your characters heads! (and I mean ALL of your characters--even your villains. ESPECIALLY your villains)

My writing process is a mess don’t follow it XD

WRITE

I think one of my favorite pieces of advice is the fact that creators are ruined by all the answers XD. Like, idk if that makes sense but basically: as the author/ artist/ creator you see everything that goes into making your work work which means you can’t really ever know what the polished piece looks like.

I mean, if you want visuals being a creator is only seeing the back of your cross stitch, while your readers/ consumers only see the front final image.

(this wonderful Elizabeth Cady Stanton found here is a great example but Tumblr is being stupid and won’t let me post it in the actual answer XD)

To us, it’ll always look a bit unfinished or wonky, because we know just about all the details!!

The point I’m trying to go for is that: as the creator you can’t really know whether or not your work makes sense or is “put together” it’s why I love getting feedback so much--I’m an addict. For one: it’s hugely encouraging to get compliments and reactions (+ a nice boost to the ego ;) XD) but, at least for me, I’m always terrified nothing in my stories makes sense!

Having aid that, fleshing out details/ building on them is still important and I think it’s one of the most important things about writing. I’m assuming you’re meaning just general ideas, in which case--write it down. al;ksdjfajk I know that seems obvious but at least for me I write everything down OBSESSIVELY, and I delete NOTHING. I have a whole doc where I copy paste sections that I want to remove just so I have all of it, becuase you never know when it might make sense later or come back to you!

I guess what I’m trying to say is--HOARD YOUR WRITING!!! Even the stuff that’s cringy and stupid and kind of makes you wanna throw up because oh my god did I really write liek that??? One of the first things I ever wrote was basically a rewrite of this one youtube minecraft series I liked, I think I was like 12 and it was cheesy and all over the place and just utter garbage nonsense. Everytime I look at it I cringe because oh GOD, but I kept that shit! BUT! One of the side characters was a stroke of accidental genius and I’ve been trying to replicate it since! XD

K I got a little away from myself but also: building and fleshing out ideas is...... a unique process. It’s not like physically building something, because at least with that there’s specific ways to go about doing it, but it’s more like.... idk taking pieces from other people until you get the strategy you want.

I’m a dumbass with ADHD so my strategy is the Jack Karouac. He was a classic american author known for his book “On the Road” which he famously wrote all in one 3-week sitting. He used a roll of ticker paper so he didn’t have to change it on his type writer and just wrote.

When I get an idea I sit down and just write everything out, my strategy is usually to frame it like I’m writing a letter to someone--YES snarky commentary included! XD--it just helps flow things.

So say I have an idea for a story, first I write an into something kinda stupid like “Ok I just came up with this like four seconds ago and now I need to write it out” and then I start with the most vivid details and go from there. Usually that means characters, I’ll describe them only as they pop up in my head (sometimes this means everything from name down to the way they tie their shoelaces and sometimes it’s just ‘best friend of mc’), then I work my way out from there, asking questions and writing the plot out.

Questions are worldbuilding things like “is this world like earth? is it in this time period? if it isn’t what time period? why that time period? this persons job is x, why? when did boy-next-door move in? why is there that scar on her face?” and usually while this is happening I’ll come up with little dialogue snippets that I just dump into a “Snippets” pile XD. Again--those are sometimes full pages of scenes I’m thinking of, or just dialogue bits I want to use or just more character quirks.

Once I’ve done that I drop it all and leave. Go for a run or a walk or make some food or whatever and DO NOT touch it or even THINK about it for at least a day. Then, come back and read over what you’ve got and fidget with it until you’ve got something at least resembling a story XD.

K wow this got long but lastly: Characters make worlds! If you’ve got kinda iffy world building or a plot you’re not very happy with, as long as the characters are enjoyable and real people will like it. Idk if you’ve read the All For the Game series but the world building is GARBAGE. lakjdsf;klj that’s not an exaggeration: a kids dad is a mob boss who works for the Japanese Yakuza who also run a fictional sport called Exy and regularly torture/ brainwash people. That’s just wild right there--BUT people adore it because the Characters are interesting and real.

Another example is the Green Creek series: I love those books to death but I stg Klune just recycles the same plot/ character drama every book and I STILL go back and reread them because the CHARACTERS!! And a LOT of people love those books despite the fact that they’re all basically the same.

Characters. Make. the. Story.

Idk, maybe I put too much weight on characters and I don’t know what I’m talking about, but--at least for me--I put the MOST effort into making my characters real and something people will be interested by and hopefully connect with, and I think it works out ok XD

Sorry this is rambly and long, I like talking. :) I hope this helped!!! Maybe?? ajs;dflajk

[harmandy]

—- ☼ (keri russell, forty-one, cis female, she/her.) have you met HARMONY ANDREWS? they’ve been living in PEARL HEIGHTS for ELEVEN YEARS now, but are originally from ESSEX. you can catch them working as a RECEPTIONIST, which makes sense as they’re GOOD-NATURED and OPTIMISTIC, as well as OVER-PROTECTIVE, and HOT-HEADED. keep an eye out for them! (ooc: pace, 21+, gmt, she/her)

hi, friends ! y’all can call me pace, and you may remember me from such roles as ‘admin that calls everybody her pals and uses too many exclamation marks’ ! i’m super excited to get bayhaven up and running ( and hopefully thriving ! ) and writing with your glorious muses ! i’m also playing FREYA and SOFIA, and their intros should be up just after this one ! so, in the words of shania twain, let’s go girls ! p.s i’m famously bad at intros at the best of times, but i’ve been wrestling a migraine for the last few days and i’m actually writing these up early and scheduling them; i’m hoping to be around, but want to be prepared for if i can’t be. so i gotta be honest, these are all a lil rushed, but hopefully they give a vague idea and enough of a gist !

ABOUT:

so, harmony’s actually a lot of fun for me -- she actually started as an npc from a different character’s background, and i just grew really attached to her ! i loved harmony as a concept and as a character, so thought it was about time i played her properly ! so, i revived her ( did i mention she was always dead before ? my gal was always dead before oopsie ) and here she is !

she’s a receptionist up at bayhaven’s hospital, so sometimes works funky hours, and has four smashing lil’ children ! i say children,,, two of them are grown adults, but... her kids !!! she’s dedicated her life to those little demons !

harmony is a chocolate loving, pasta making, scrapbooking, junk journal doing, laundry folding, zero-luck-with-love-having, legend, and she just has a lot of love to give.

i miiiiight be open to putting up wc’s for the two oldest kids at some point ( with like lots of wiggle room and ofc as Different characters than the ones i’ve developed before ) but i’ll have to see ! i keep flip-flopping between wanting to and not so i feel like that’s a ‘i should think on it and see how things go’ kinda sign !

i tried to whip up a a condensed rundown of her backstory, her kids and how they came to be, etc. but it got so long and rambly. however, i’ve copy and pasted the bullet points and whacked them HERE instead if you’re curious, especially while her full biography is a wip !

so she’s a mother of four to nevaeh ‘nev’, faith, harvey, and avalon ‘ava’ and they range from aged six to age twenty-four. she had her eldest at seventeen, and has been cut off from the rest of her family ever since. 

however, her aunt didn’t plan on dying when she did, so hadn’t gone over her will recently ---- if she had, she may have realised that she never took harmony out of it, and harms inherited her house in bayhaven when her youngest child ( at the time ) was four, and she and her family have lived together in pearl heights ever since. 

she loves the community in pearl heights. she loves that everyone seems to have eachother’s backs, and actually like she fits in somewhere. they have a nice lil four bedroom house ( or three bedrooms and a box, as she calls it ) and since the arrival of harm’s fourth and final kid six years ago, and w/ nev being older, they converted the loft into an extra bedroom, so nev sleeps in the attic like a rat !

she’s a busy bee, tbh ! she works full time, has a herd of youngens to keep track of, loves cooking so makes nice hearty, homey meals almost every night, has a Very precise laundry routine, and she’s a creative lil fuck ?? really into bullet journaling but also making junk journals and loooooooves a scrapbook. 

she’s a very sort of No Nonsense lady. she just doesn’t have time or tolerance for bullshit anymore, life’s too short and she’s had enough shit thrown at her. 

however, her heart is Big. her life is dedicated to her kidsies, but she’s always known for taking in strays. a mate of her kids’ need to stay ? okay cool lemme grab you a blanket and the guest pj’s. her house is very Busy, like all the time. everyone is welcome at all times. friends over for dinner !!!! extra kids running around because harm is absolutely nuts and probably thought ava having three friends over would be fiiiine !

she has stats !

as well as a pinterest board !

CONNECTION IDEAS:

friends friends friends !!!

neighbours !!

friends thru their kids ?? her kids are 24, 21, 15, and 6, so if other folks have kids near those ages ! yeehaw !

youngens she’s basically adopted because she’s such a ‘your parents suck ? i’m your mum now’ person tbh.

harmony has such potential for angst and i’m always for it my guys. 

EXTRAS:

i know bayhaven exists in a wonderful world where the dreaded c-word ( no, not that one -- not that one either... ) doesn’t exist, but we’re sadly not so lucky, so i hope everybody is keeping well and looking after themselves, and that bayhaven can function as a nice distraction, as well as a creative outlet and something to fill the time !

i usually am a ‘i love rp icons, i love gif icons, i love gifs, use whatever and i’ll match’ kinda person, but two out of the three fc’s i’m using are ones i didn’t have a folder for before the rp, and keri has zero gif icons until i make some ! i’m workin’ on it ! but she’s beeeeautiful and has lots of gifs and some rp icons, and i’d be happy to make more in the future too, so we’re goin’ with it for now !

i’m a small text gal, but if you wanna make it bigger when reblogging our threads, you’ll get no complaints from me ! the only thing i ask is that bold/italic text is left alone and not reformatted, as they’re almost always used as ( in the wise words of josh peck ) emphasis, when it comes to me !

a bit too personal, but i’m actually currently coming off my adhd meds, and one of the things i’ve noticed, is that i find spotting typos harder and that kind of thing, so if we could just Bear With, i’d really appreciate it ! it also makes me forgetful as sin in the short-term, so again, please just !!! bear with !!! and patience is reaaaallly appreciated !