#hopefully it'll help break that block >_>

[rozengrotto]

I’m stuck in a nasty art-block so I was thinking of doing some sketch requests based on this expression meme made by @/MagicalPouch on Twitter! 

feel free to send me a character, a number from 1-5 and a letter from A-F and I will try and do some sketches! (no idea if I’m gonna be able to do all of em, it’ll depend on how many requests I get haha)

I’ll take character requests from:

Twisted Wonderland

JJBA

Fire Emblem:Three Houses

[ssentimentals]

Hi! Thank you for doing this 🫶🏽

Wonwoo, 12# please!

hi, dear 💜 thanks for the request, hopefully you will like it, let me know!

12. kiss out of grief (jeon wonwoo)

tw: nothing is specified but there's general sadness

whoever said that time heals really should get a good smack on the head, because who says something like that without saying how much exactly time is needed to heal? wonwoo stares at the cluttered room around him and wonders what is he supposed to feel. as his emotions didn't result in a wild outburst, his friends thought that their presence made him uncomfortable and therefore rented a 'break this' room for him. as wonwoo understood, this whole place was created with a single purpose of him breaking everything and lashing out and he even entertained this thought for some time, but now as he's actually here, he realizes that he has no energy to do anything. paint walls, break plates, run and shout - he has no energy for anything.

wonwoo slides to the chair right next to the door and simply stares at the spotless wall. he feels... hollow. sadness has a tight grip on his heart and blocks all other emotions, making it impossible for him to feel anything else. wonwoo knows he's supposed to let himself feel everything and live these emotions, but in all reality he doesn't know how. what is the plan? how he goes through it? he doesn't want to be a burden, doesn't want to make himself a center of attention due to his grief; he really wants to fade into the background more than anything. he stares down at his fingers and a sudden thought about missing your hand in his crosses his mind. how i can support you? you asked at the first day. wonwoo wishes he had an answer. your presence never brought anything but joy and peace to him, but you recently decided to give him time and space, which... wonwoo understands, but doesn't think it works well for him. he's glad his friends took step back, but not you.

'sorry,' girl from the reception desk pops her head in, looking apologetic. 'i just can't help but notice that you haven't touched anything. maybe you need something else from us? any other equipment?' at wonwoo's negative answer, she adds: 'also there's girl waiting for you outside. like, take your time and everything but just wanted to let you know that someone is out there waiting for you.'

someone out there is waiting for you. god, what a comforting thought. wonwoo freezes. 'can you ask her to come here, please?'

girl nods and leaves him alone. you appear in the room shortly, standing in front of him like a personalized heaven. wonwoo wants to fall into your arms with no grace, wants to let himself sink in you, knowing you'll never let him go. looking hesitant, you take one more step towards him, biting your lower lip. 'baby? god, this was a horrible idea, right? everyone convinced me it'll help you but i had such a bad feeling and decided to come over. are you okay?'

and for the first time in what feels like forever, wonwoo lets himself answer this question honestly: 'no. no, i'm not.'

your facial expression crumbles and in next second your arms are around him, hugging him tight. wonwoo hugs you back automatically, brings you two as close to each other as it's only possibly and lets himself breathe. god, this is what he needed.

'i'm so sorry,' you whisper, barely holding back your tears. 'i'm so, so sorry wonwoo, baby-'

he kisses you out of grief. out of sadness. out of realization that you're the light in this darkness and he needs you, needs you so much that words can't convey and out of relief that he has you with him, that he doesn't have to go through his alone. 'i'm sorry too,' he whispers. 'i'm sorry too.'

[snakebites-and-ink]

Whumper-Turned-Caretaker CYOA 27

CW for the series | Masterlist

You chose to take Whumpee on an outing.

“Whumpee,” you start, “I’d like to take you outside. And not just to the backyard. I was thinking a walk around the neighborhood. Can I trust you not to…get me in trouble?” They acted trustworthy before, when they kept quiet with your friend over, so you believe you can trust them again. But this is a new level of freedom and opportunity, so you’d like to make sure.

They nod. “Yes,” they say, voice soft but not weak.

“And are you ready for that?”

“Yes,” they say again. “I would really like that.”

“Okay. Let’s go, shall we?”

You bring them outside—out the front this time, where there’s sidewalk leading away from the house and no tall fence enclosure to keep the two of you hidden.

Whumpee gawks a little. It’s understandable; they haven’t seen a space this open in a long time.

You let them pick a direction, and start walking down the block, side by side. Whumpee enjoys the fresh air, the sunlight, and the birds that occasionally fly by or sing from the trees. You enjoy seeing their renewed wonder at a world that you’ve taken for granted but that they’ve spent too long cooped up away from.

They don’t shout or make a break for it. It seems you’ve succeeded in building up a trust that goes both ways. You make it back home without any incidents.

Whumpee looks a little regretful that it’s over. You promise them they’ll have the chance to stroll the streets again before too long, which cheers them up and earns you one of those smiles you’ve learned to value from them.

What you don’t tell them is that you’re not sure whether that chance will be with you again.

It’s time to make a choice. Whumpee has come a long way. As far as you’re able to tell, they’ve gotten through the biggest parts of the recovery you decided to help them with when you first brought them out of the basement. Whumpee is about ready to go back to whatever life they had before. Still, you can't help but wonder if…maybe they didn't have much to go back to. No one came looking for them in all the time you’ve had them, after all.

Taglist:

@kabie-whump, @whumpanthems, @whumpsoda, @3-2-whump, @generic-whumperz, 

@taterswhump, @alivenova, @whumped-by-glitter, @expressionless-fr, @whumpycries, 

@whumpsday, @moons-cozy-corner, @echo-goes-aaa, @whumplr-reader, @starfields08000, 

@whump-blog, @ivymyers, @currentlyinthesprial, @lumpofsand, @coffin-hopping, 

@ragin-cajun-fangirl, @catnykit, @indigoviolet311, @dragongodryss, @kira-the-whump-enthusiast,

@risk606, @natthebatt, @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94, @whatwhump, @venusski

@hermitcrabs-1,  @croixph, @mj-or-say10, @kawaii-cakes, @gevwer,

@fourwingedwriter, @turtlesnap1

[lalachat]

"And there you were..."

Author's note: Good lord did i have a lot to say in this chapter. I hope my writing is still okay and is cohesive enough... I feel like i am missing small points i made in other chapters, but as Hannah Montana once said, nobody's perfect! I'm doing my best with what has been going on in my life. I recently had to drop one of my college classes because it was getting to the point of me not being able to pass the class. Life tip: don't be a full time college student with 2 part time jobs(technically 3 if my summer job contacts me to come into work on a random weekday) or it'll catch up to you... shit's stressful maine😭 Anyways, like always enjoy the chapter!!! She's a biggen💅🏻

Summary: After being slut shamed for something you and Lucien did in the past, you decide to run straight to his house to let him know of his mate's behavior. Little did you both know that it only would make things worse, but hey, screw it right?! Or so you both thought...

This is for all my Lucien girlies❤️

Warnings: profanity, steamy make-out sesh (you're welcome<3), cock-blocked lol, slight violence

Word Count: ≈ 4,556

Chapter 6: "Hold your tits!"

And there you were in his house again but this time looking like you were going to scorch Prythian. You didn’t even have the energy to respond to his witty remarks. “Something really bad must have happened,” he thought. As he looked over you for any signs of injury, he couldn’t help but think about Elain.

Elain had lost control of her emotions and sent them full blaring at him, and yet you’re in his living room looking just as pissed off during the time of Elain’s relay. Then the realization hit him that something must have happened between you two. Would his bond with Elain cause him to take her side or would his close relationship with you rule over all? He was going to have to tread very lightly in the conversation that was about to come to light.  

“You want to know who pissed in my wine? Your mate Lucien, that’s who! And mine, but mainly your mate!” You say with a bitter tone as you cross your arms and legs to lean against the wall. 

“I see, guess I have been too much of a ladies' man if I have both of you this hot headed over me.” He smirked at you still trying to break your anger with humor. It didn’t work, it went right over your head. Lucien frowned.  

“How can she stand there and make all these accusations about me being a slut for fucking you without hearing the explanation of it being before y’alls bond?! SHE IS RIDICULOUS!” you exclaim. 

“She called you what? Are we talking about the same Elain right now?” Lucien stood there in shock. 

“She called me a slut Lucien! Said that me having sex with you is the reason I have no mate, not realizing that she is the reason I don’t have one! She keeps him from me! Hell, I tried so hard to open the bond with Az in our argument, but I am still met with nothing but a big fat wall of nothing!” You slumped down.

“Let me set one thing straight y/n! Whatever she tried to pin against you is not true!” he grabs both of your hands reassuringly. “Azriel will hopefully come around one day, I am sorry it hasn’t happened yet...” he kisses the tops of your hands. However, little does he know that you are slowly losing faith in your bond ever being complete.

Lucien then looks up at you confused. “Wait how did she even find out about our previous sexual relationship?” Lucien asked. 

“I let it slip to Mor at Rita’s and then Mor let it slip to the girls during girls' night, and then everyone asked about the rumor...” you admitted. 

“Huh, I see.” He started rubbing his temples trying to ease his distress. His mate knows about you two, she just doesn’t know it was before they even met. Is this knowledge going to change his chances with Elain? A moment of silence passes between you, before Lucien’s face lights up.  

“And what did you say about the rumor?” he smirked at you mischievously. He knew the rumor, he just wanted to hear you say it. 

“Lucien why does what I said matter?” 

“Because y/n, I want to know if you think I fuck with the fire in my veins?” His hands slowly trace up the sides of your arms. “Did I fuck you good enough for you to confirm that rumor?” He left an open-mouth kiss on your neck. “Or do I need to remind you?” He places another kiss onto your neck only firmer. 

“Lu-” you sighed at the feeling of his lips on your neck, “Lucien what are you doing? You shouldn't be doing this right now....” He wasn’t listening to you as he sucked on the sweet part of your neck as you exposed more of your neck to him.  

“Y/n you are telling me two different things right now. Your mouth says to stop but your body wants me to keep going, so which one is it doll?” He looked at you with hooded eyes, hands resting on your covered thighs after tracing your arms. 

“Why does that information matter right now Lucien? You need to stop this.” You look at him with desire, completely contradicting your statement.   

“Because y/n, they're upset at our previous relations a long time ago. I say fuck it and truly give them something to be upset about now.” 

You both looked at each other. Tension was slowly building up between you two with every second of silence. Tension that has been building since the moment you two saw each other at Rita’s. Tension that has built up from all these years without each other. Tensions that were begging to be cut, begging to be relieved. Both of you were going through all the consequences that this could put you both in, but consequences be damned, this was worth it.  

Neither of you had bothered hiding your growing scents of arousal. Your face was mere inches away from his. You could feel his hot breath against your face, and he stared down at you with desire, hands still resting on your thighs. You looked up at him and thought he was worth the risk. Whatever karma this would cause, bring it on, because his hands against your thighs was clouding all rationality in your head. 

“Ah fuck it!” you say. 

In an instant your lips were on Lucien’s in a searing hot needy kiss. His hands gripping at your thighs as your mouths fought for dominance. Your hands finding a home in Lucien’s hair and started pulling slightly, earning you a low groan. Your thighs clenched together which Lucien felt. He chuckled and decided to focus his heat on his hands, heating them up against your thighs. Your mouth broke away from his from the desirable feeling, “shit-” 

“You like my hot hands all over you, hm?”  

“Gods yes!” as you place your hands on top of his and teasingly guide them up your hips, to your waist, and stopping them just under your chest. His hands growing hotter from his desire on your sudden placement as both of your eyes locked and darkened.

“Such a fucking slut for my heat,” he said as his hands grew a mind of their own and started exploring every inch your breasts. His eyes followed every movement they made. You decided to remove your fingers from his hair and delicately trace them down his clothed back making him tremble slightly. This made you smirk. He is just as much of a slut for your touch as you were for his.  

His lips were back on yours with pure dominance, making your desire grow even more as his hands never left your chest. You moaned into his mouth as you decided to be bold and reach under his shirt to scratch his bare back. His muscles tensed at every touch knowing they would leave marks. His musk grew at the thought.

Your mouths are moving more in sync than you have ever felt before. It was like both of you knew what each other was going to do next, but what you both did not know was the sudden loud knock on his front door. You both groaned in annoyance.  

“Are you fucking kidding me?! This better be good!” Lucien said in frustration as he removed his swollen lips from yours. He looked at you for a second, his gaze softened as he placed a sweet kiss back on your lips saying, “this isn’t over.”  

He smirked and turned towards his door fixing his hair, clothes, and evident boner on the way. You giggled as you hid from the door’s gaze fixing your own appearance. The knock was heard again but this time more boisterous as if whoever was behind it was losing patience.  

“Good lord, get a hold of your tits! I am coming!” As he opened the door you heard Lucien gasp. “Shadowsinger, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He bowed jokingly. 

“Where is she?” Azriel asked in annoyance. 

“Where is who exactly?” Lucien asked dumbfounded as he rose from his bow.  

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me Lucien, you know who I am talking about. Now... Where. Is. She?!” Lucien stiffened; he was asking for you. He was not about to give you away to him after you and Elain’s argument, because he knew Azriel would take you back to the Townhouse. You and Elain needed time to cool off, he was not about to let you get called anymore names tonight.  

“She’s not here.” Lucien said protectively as he slightly closed the door stopping his gaze from searching inside. Azriel picking up on it. 

“That is fucking bullshit! I know she is here. Step aside Lucien or I’ll-” 

“Or you will what Azriel? You and I both know I am not scared of you!” Lucien growled. Azriel chuckled. 

“I knew you would protect your little play th-" Lucien’s nostrils flared as he took in a sharp inhale at Azriel’s intended vocabulary. 

“Careful how you finish that sentence Azriel.” Lucien threatened.  

“What? I smell her all over you! Protecting her is pathetic when you have your mate, Lucien!” Azriel crossed his arms across his chest aloof to the fact Lucien was about to snap.  

In a second Lucien's hand balled into a fist and decked Azriel straight in the nose. You heard the contact from where you were standing in Lucien’s living room.  

“AH! YOU FUCKING DICK!” Azriel screamed as he grabbed his nose to try and ease the pain.  

“Say something like that again Az, I fucking dare you.” Lucien snarled.  

Gods Lucien protecting you was hot, but no matter how hot he might be, your bond was overbearing you. You ran to the door, past Lucien, and straight to Azriel. You looked him over and gods was his nose a mess. Lucien had got him good. You looked back at Lucien who looked like he was about to light on fire. You glared at him for getting physical.  

“He fucking deserved it...” Lucien said as he looked at you shaking his hand off from the impact.  

You were now standing in between the two most loved males in your life right now, unsure on what to do. Do you give into the need to protect your mate, even after everything he has done, or do you give in to the male who has shown you nothing but support even though he has a mate. Not sure what to do, you decide to play both sides and ask a question everyone wanted to know.  

“Azriel why are you even here?” Trying to bury the feeling of wanting to reach out to him to comfort him, you step to stand beside Lucien. Hands slightly brushing against each other, his hands still hot from your previous moment.

“To find you.” He rubbed his nose. “Elain is on a rampage trying to get to you knowing that you had run here to him.” He pointed his head in Lucien’s direction.

So, he came here not for you, but for Elain to try and make her feel better by taking you out of her mate's home.  

“I am not going back there to make that bitch feel better!” You felt Lucien stiffen at your words for Elain.  

“You have to y/n! Look all feelings aside, she won’t calm down. I have tried. Feyre has tried. Nesta has tried, but nothing is working. You need to come back to the townhouse now before shit gets worse!” He looks at you with pleading eyes. Gods he truly cared for Elain, didn’t he? You felt tears prick your eyes. Why couldn’t he care for you this way and not Elain? 

“I am not going back there to get name called again for something that I did before their bond even snapped!” Azriel's gaze softened at your words, not by a lot, but you could see the realization hit him that Elain had gone too far earlier. Lucien finally decided to speak. 

“If y/n returning to the townhouse means Elain calming down, she can go but you must take me with her. I will not stand aside and let y/n bear the burden alone for something we both did.” Wanting his mate to feel better but in a way he knows he can protect you at the same time. Lucien looked towards Az for an answer. 

“I don’t think you coming would be a good idea.” Azriel deadpanned, now seeping back into his usual closed off self.  

“Why? Because you’re scared that maybe the only thing that could potentially help Elain calm down is him? You’re just being jealous that it wasn’t you... set aside your pride for once Azriel and let him come with me,” you said. Azriel thought through your words, and you could tell he wasn’t going to budge. You grabbed Lucien’s hand because what you were about to say was going to hurt you a lot emotionally.  

“Do not think about it for the sake of myself, but for the sake of Elain, Az...” Your tears finally spilled from your eyes as you saw Azriel’s face lighten up at the thought of it potentially helping Elain. Not even sparing a thought that returning there would only make you feel worse. Lucien’s hand tightened around yours as he thought the thought Azriel had failed to see. You smiled up at him as he mouthed, “it will be okay,” as his thumb traced the back of your hand in comfort.  

“Fine. For the sake of Elain, you can both come.” Azriel takes off into the sky as you and Lucien look at each other worried.  

“Y/n, everything will be okay,” he smiled at you. “I won't let anyone else shame you for something we both did in the past. It’s my turn to take on the burden. Don’t let Azriel’s behavior towards Elain stop you from trying to peruse the bond, or you’ll end up like a sorry sucker like me.” He chuckled.  

You laughed at his self-defeating comment as you said, “Thank you, Lu... let’s hope you can calm the raging seer because it was not pretty earlier.” You warned.   

“Yeah, let’s hope for once in her life she actually needs me for something...” He rolled his eyes not believing that this is the moment he is needed for. All this time without her and he's the last option when he should be the first. Gods, Lucien couldn’t help the bubbling anger trying to surface itself that he was her last resort, but his mate needs him! He was not about to ruin this chance for himself, as he grabs your hand and winnows you both to the Townhouse.  

As you reached the front door at the Townhouse you saw Azriel landing beside you and Lucien.  

“Oh, would you look at that,” Lucien looks at his imaginary watch, “just on time shadow singer!” He smirks. 

“I don’t have time for your wit right now Lucien, we have better things to do. Come on.” Azriel said annoyed and walked straight into the house not even bothering to see if you were following him.  

“Guess we need to follow grumpy pants over there,” You teased as Lucien laughed. 

“Y/n I heard that!!” Azriel said over his shoulder only making you and Lucien laugh even louder. You both decided it was best to follow him now that you and Lucien were walking a fine line on Azriel losing his patience.  

You can already hear the arguing as soon as you both catch up to Azriel. Lucien has suddenly gone cold as he hears his mate’s voice for the first time in a while. You heard his heartbeat quicken, from nerves or from longing you couldn’t tell. 

“Lucien if you don’t get ahold of yourself, she is going to walk all over you! Deep breaths, I will be with you the entire time,” you smile at him.  

“What if she sees me and kicks me out? What if my presence makes it worse?” Lucien was starting to panic, all he wanted was to see her and protect you from any more name calling, but this situation was just too stressful for him. Everything was relying on him calming down Elain! How can he do that when he has practically been shunned out of her life. You looked at him, clearly reading his thoughts. 

“Lucien look at me,” his gaze is hazy as he glances towards you, “you are her mate! If anyone can get through to her it’s you! Not Azriel! YOU! Do not doubt your ability as her mate for a second!” You smiled at him, and you squeezed his hand gently.  

“What would a male like me do without you?” He laughed as he squeezed your hand back. 

“I don’t know, probably be a really lonely sorry sucker,” you shrugged your shoulders as you teased him. You have known Lucien for so long that you have picked up the best way to calm him is banter. He chuckled and kept your hand in his as he finished following behind Az.  

Azriel glanced behind him to hear y’all’s exchange after he heard his name. He couldn’t help but see him and Elain in you and Lucien. Did you two like each other? He almost felt jealous, which is weird for him. The last time he felt this way was when you left Rita’s with him. What was going on with him recently?! He was going to have to investigate this for Elain’s sake... or maybe his, so he can stop this unknown and unsettling feeling that has been slowly eating at him.  

“Would you two stop flirting and get a move on? They're in the library which is right around the corner,” Az said annoyed.  

You and Lucien rolled your eyes playfully before you both feared the worst as you reached the entrance to the library. Elain’s rampage is evident as you hear her through the door. 

“Oh, boy here we go again,” you said. 

“Remember what I told you earlier y/n, I won't hesitate to fire back,” Azriel glared. 

Lucien stepped in front of you and threatened, “I won't hesitate to set your balls aflame if you talk to her like that again!” You peered behind Lucien’s back and stuck your middle finger up at Az. He rolled his eyes as he opened the door letting you and Lucien walk in first.  

As you walked in you saw Elain in the center of the room, pacing. Cassian and Nesta took the nearest couch. You saw Feyre and Rhys on the loveseat next to Cassaian and Nesta. Both couples are taking turns trying to ease Elain, but obviously it is not working otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Amren and Mor were sitting by the fireplace drinking from their glasses of wine in annoyance at the situation they had to deal with. Gods, you wish you could join them, they had the right idea... 

“I knew you had run to him! First you fuck him and now you think you can go to him for comfort?! You are not his mate y/n!” Elain’s head snapped in your direction as you both came in. She hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge Lucien. 

“Yeah, I may not be his mate, but you don’t get to call yourself that after all the shit you have been putting him through!” You raised your voice to match hers. “You are nothing but a dead-beat mate who does not deserve someone like Lucien!” 

“Funny, the mother seems to think I do...” Elain snarked back. 

“So then fucking act like it! Stop throwing yourself a pity party and finally realize what the mother gave you!” You point at Lucien. “He. Is. A. Good. Male! What is the issue?” 

“The issue is you have fucked him, touched him, kissed him!” Elain argued back. 

“Mother above Elain, I am not a disease! Grow the fuck up-” you sneered back.  

Everyone in the room could tell this was not going to get any better if they kept letting you two talk. Everyone soon looked towards the two males at the entrance begging for them to do something and step in.

Lucien and Azriel were on top of it as soon as they saw everyone looking at them. Lucien was the one to step in front of you, blocking your view from Elain. His hands gripped your shoulders slightly pushing you back. Azriel was doing the same thing for Elain, only she was more resilient.  

“HOLY SHIT AZ! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!” Cassian boomed as everyone saw the lingering bruise on Azriel's nose.. 

“You can thank Lucien for that...” Az deadpanned as Lucien smirked. Everyone’s faces almost seemed surprised by the fact that Lucien had gotten physical with Azriel and had no bruise of his own.  

“It wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t insult y/n.” He shrugged.  

“You did that to protect her?!” Elain was screaming in Azriel’s arms. Lucien looked at you with an apologetic look before he turned to face his mate. 

“Elain,” the sound of her name coming from his mouth had her frozen, “talk to me. No more screaming, no more yelling, just tell me your point of view on what’s going on. Okay?” he asked sweetly. Gods the dexterity of this male.  

“She-” Elain had started to cry, “How could you sleep with someone Lucien?! Especially with someone like her when I am your mate?” You tensed, gods she was still on the petty bullshit. 

“Someone like her, is an amazing female, but you wouldn’t know that because you are too blinded by the fact we slept together!” Lucien explained calmly.  

“Is that so wrong of me to think when I come home to the girls wanting to know all the details of the autumn male rumor that she has learned from you?” Her voice was starting to rise as tears flowed down her cheeks. Lucien took a couple steps towards her, but Azriel was still holding her back afraid things would get ugly if he let her go. You were left standing alone.  

“Elain listen to me, I don’t know what you heard but y/n and I’s previous sexual relations were before I even met you...” Lucien said reassuringly. 

“No! You are lying! That can’t be true-” Elain said in disbelief as the wave of guilt hit her as she looked at you for confirmation.  

“You would have known that if you had just let me talk instead of slut shaming me...” you sassed her. Lucien and Azriel glared at you as if saying your sass wasn’t needed right now. You huffed.

Lucien took the last couple of steps towards her and closed the distance between them as he grabbed one of her hands. This was now paining you to watch. Both of the most adored males in your life comforting Elain as you stood by yourself.  

“Elain it is true, y/n and I slept together before our bond was even put in place... If you need, I will put my mental shields down and let Rhys prove it to you!” He rubbed the back of her hand.   

“Hey, don’t drag me into this! I don’t want to see that; I believe him Elain! Please don’t make me do that.” Rhys begged.   

Elain looked at him in sympathy, “I won’t make you do that.”  

“Thank fuck,” Rhys sighed. You giggled at him as you thought to yourself that it would be a good way to show the girls the rumor. As if Rhys heard your thought, he glared at you. His voice was now in your head saying, “Don’t let them know that! I truly don’t want to see that image of you two.” His face grimaced making you giggle again. Feyre glanced at you two and looked at Rhys questioningly. You could tell they were now talking through the bond.  

Elain glanced down at Lucien’s hand caressing hers. “I am sorry to have made you come all this way for something like this... I should have let y/n explain herself. I'm sorry Lucien..” She says embarrassed. Azriel took this as the queue to let her go knowing she was fine now. He was angry that Lucien was able to calm her, part of him wanted him to fail so he could get another chance. He finally stepped away from the two.  

“It is alright Elain; the bond makes us do crazy things sometimes.” He smiled at her, and she actually giggled at him. He wiped away a couple of her tears, and you could see her lean into his touch. Both smiling at each other lovingly.  

Fuck this was too much for you. You saw first-hand how much Lucien cared for Elain and it hurt, maybe he did still have a chance... You and Elain still had to work out the words you two threw at each other in anger, but you couldn’t do that now. Not with the overwhelming feeling of seeing Lucien hopeful again. Maybe you were being dramatic, but you seriously couldn’t look at them anymore. Seeing him hopeful again reminded you that this crush of yours was not right. 

You began to not think straight. Seeking Lucien's attention and teasing him only led him away from wanting to fight for their bond. All for what? Because Az didn’t notice you?! Gods what were you even doing. You were turning into Elain... All of your threats to her were now hypocritical. Just like the wave of guilt hitting Elain earlier, yours had just come crashing down. As you realized you still stood alone, you quietly excused yourself from the room. Everyone looked at each other confused.   

“I should go see what’s wrong with-” Lucien had tried to leave Elain’s grip, but she only squeezed his hand. 

“Don’t go. I need you, Lucien. I finally feel at peace after hours of torment.” Elain pleaded. 

“You do?” Lucien looked down at her, face red as his hair, as she nodded.  

“Please stay with me for a while longer?” she asked nervously. 

“Anything for you,” as he placed a chaste kiss atop her hand.  

However, you were not out of the library yet as you saw their last exchange before you ran down the hall. Tears stained your face as you continued to run to the other side of the house, needing to get as far away as possible. Little did you know someone else needed to escape that situation just as much as you did. He excused himself as he followed you down the hallway, using your urgent departure as an escape for himself to leave the room.  

Lucien couldn’t help but grovel that he had chosen Elain over you as he watched Az chase after you. That should be him doing that but instead he was here with his mate. Maybe this was for the better? Having both of your mates in this situation could be useful he hoped. For now, he was going to try and enjoy all the time Elain was willing to give him before she kicked him back out of her life for Azriel. He will have to apologize for his behavior later, but like he said earlier, the bond can make someone do stupid things. 

If you’re interested in being on my taglist, please let me know!

Tags:

@thelov3lybookworm @justdreamstars @character---obsessed @stained-glass-eyes0708 @acourtofbooksandshadows @sourapplex @b0xerdancer-writes @fireworksacrosshorizons @esposadomd @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @mis-lil-red @fides25 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @emme-looou @bubybubsters @impossibelle @holywolfsstuff @acourtofbatboydreams @bloodicka @byyalady @thesnugglingduck @annaaaaa88

Post author's note: the smut is coming babes! I promise! I'm working on it rn and i'm screaming and kicking my feet at it. Literally foaming at the mouth 😮‍💨🤤

[patheticallyinfatuatedwithu]

because it's honey, pham hanni

seeing as you have a sweet tooth and a love for honey, hanni attempts to ask if you would like her too.

you've always had a knack for sweets, having a candy popped in your mouth as you go from class to class, breaks to breaks without a fail. hanni, who's almost always your seat mate at classes you share couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever like a different kind of sweet.

"y/n, aren't you ever tired of the same candy or lollipop you eat everyday?" she asks, leaving to the side with eyes travelling all over your face. you turn to her, the oh-so familiar smile written on your lips. "nope."

her head tilts to the side, eyes glancing at your lips where your tongue met your bottom lip. "how come?" you didn't hesitate to answer, already rolling its way out of your tongue and into hanni's awaiting ear. "because it's honey."

hanni didn't understand why she turned quickly in her seat and the tips of her ears turned red, flushed face and panicking eyes hid from your prodding gaze. "you alright, hanni?" she nodded almost immediately, eyes clamped together as she did.

because it's honey.

for as long as hanni remembers, you've always been her best seat mate, taking notes quick and neatly without having to always chitchat with others. you've always had this sunny radiation oozing out of you like there's no tomorrow and maybe, just maybe, that was what made her fall for you.

or maybe it was the other little things. opening the door for her when the two of you promised to go to the library after an unfinished work has been assigned, or how you pushed some strand off her face while she's busy with her notes, or maybe it was your smile that will always, always manage to gag her, or maybe it was your laugh, or maybe it was... everything.

needless to say, hanni was down bad. as in down bad buried up until the earth's core.

and when she found out that her name in your contacts was "honey🍯❤️", she felt her whole world explode. because you did not just do that to her.

oh dear, hanni.

for as long as it'll take, you'll keep on subtly flirting with hanni. and hopefully, she's taken the hint by now because quite frankly, it is tiring. you can't count how many times you've flirted with her and she's just shrugged it off! but maybe if you've had a bit more courage, you'd have asked her out instead of this pathetic little flirting you're doing.

you sigh, sinking in your seat as you stared at the teacher writing equations on the board. "what's got you down in the dumps?" your seat mate, someone who's surprisingly not hanni asked, eyes going to you then to the teacher.

"it's valentines day and oh my god i'm lonely." you replied, twiddling with the pen between your fingers. she chuckles, "well maybe if you've grown balls, you would've had a valentine."

you slam your head on the table, your teacher stopping and turning around to search for the source of noise, only rolling her eyes to find your head against the wooden table before going back to her equation.

teenagers.

"if only it was that easy, i would've done it." your seat mate halts. "growing balls or asking her out?"

"both. mostly the latter though." she pats your back apologetically, "it's alright. at least i'm not the only one that's single." you grumble, "shucks."

for as long as hanni remembers, she's always backed down to asking you out, but today, things are quite different. she's gotten the balls to as you out and is now making her way to the art block, tote bag slung on her shoulder with fire in her eyes.

you've asked her to spend her and your free period together, brushing on your sketching skills for the upcoming practical. she takes a sharp breath in before turning the knob with a creak, eyes meeting yours that tore itself from your canvas.

"hi."

she exhaled, "hi." you gestured at the seat in front of you that's slightly angled so that you could see her when she's drawing, already placed with her own canvas in front of it and tools on the side. "i've organised it for you so you don't need to waste time, if that's okay with you."

she nods, taking the seat in front of you. "thanks." you smiled in return, "i was hoping we'd sketch each other? seeing as that's the next practical, portraits."

you avoids your eye, pulling a pencil and situating herself. "that's a great idea." you nod, starting to sketch and savouring the moment. the room was quiet, a few muffled talking and screaming on the field filled some of it, but other than that, the silence was comfortable.

after a few more minutes, you stare hanni and then at your painting, adding the last touches before placing the pencil down. you were about to speak when hanni takes the opportunity from you.

"you... like honey, right?" she looks up, your eyes meeting again in an eye contact that looks vague in others' eye, but not for the two of you as it shows how much you two hold each other's hearts. "yes."

"would it be possible that you like... hanni, too?" you blinked, completely taken aback by the question. "yes, i like hanni too. i like you too." you turn your canvas around, the day where you first sat next to her, the moment where you felt yourself fall 10 feet under was greatly sketched, the details almost overwhelming her. "that's what you sketched?"

"because it's hanni."

broken records in honour of valentines tomorrow i wrote this little idea that i though of on the verge of falling asleep so im sorry it it's a little crooked and shitty😭 happy valentines you guys🥹

[https-furina]

i saw something about the lack of xiao requests so:

11. with xiao maybe?

whoever aly is needs to suffer more /j

✎ a yaksha’s comfort.

ft. xiao x gn!reader

prompt: “you mean more than anything.”

w.c. 699 words

content: fluff, established relationship, sleep cuddly fluff !! xiao is a tad clingy but it’s soft

notes: anon i love you so much /p i’ve been cackling this whole time while i write it (i’m not very confident with xiao but hopefully i’ll get better because i think i have with albedo??)

it would be blatant ignorance if you dared utter that the fall of the night was not your favourite time of the day. coincidentally, this also applies to your boyfriend - general alatus. he much preferred you just call him xiao, however and he'd stated this the moment he entrusted you enough to admit his feelings (in a very vulnerable conversation) and started dating you. as much as it pained him sometimes, xiao did not regret his decisions to drop his guard for you.

that much shows when he's curled up, chest pressed against your back and his arm draped over your midriff. his forehead is pressed to the bare skin of your lower neck and the tips of your fingers are lazily drawing patterns on his arm - albeit barely touching his skin at all, he can barely feel your feathery touch. it's only when one of your nails particularly drags down to his wrist that his eyes open, aware that you're touching him. your other hand is holding open a book you'd recently been recommended by xingqiu, eyes scanning the pages but you're distant, in your own world. xiao takes your silence as positive, regarding that you are enjoying the aforementioned book.

there's an echo ringing in xiao's ears suddenly, harsh and sharp as it makes his ears burn and creates a thundering effect against his skull. a groan escapes his lips, rolling to lay on his back and only then do you draw your gaze away from your land of make-believe, turning to check on your boyfriend's sudden movements.

"xiao, love?" you mumble, momentarily dazed as one of xiao's hands raise to cover his eyes in a futile attempt to block out the light of the burning flame on your bedside cabinet. you frown, concerned as you lower the book and sit up. xiao waves you off with his spare hand, listening to the rustle of the bedsheets when you move.

"it's fine," he grumbles, albeit his voice cracks a little when the echo of his name gets louder - he's thankful you're not subjected to hearing it too, "the traveler - they're calling for me."

"then you should go, no?" your brows knit together in confusion, watching the way xiao clenches and unclenches the hand covering his eyes in hopes it'll distract him from the thumping in his head, "xiao, you said you'd respond if they called."

xiao doesn't respond, the flesh of his lower lip caught between his teeth as the searing feeling fades - they've stopped. the voices stop echoing, the headache beginning to lighten as xiao breathes out in relief, lowering his hand. golden eyes meet your concerned ones, which soften at your boyfriend's sudden comfort. a sigh leaves your lips, unsure as to why xiao didn't disappear to help the traveler like he promised.

the yaksha shuffles his body, laying his head on your lap with no qualms. the muscles of your thighs tense under him but you're quick to relax, drawing a smile onto your face as he closes his eyes. you take that he has nothing further to say about the situation, raising your book once more now that things have returned to normality; yet this time your spare hand finds its way into xiao's dark locks, running through them as his chest rises and falls slowly.

for a moment you think the adeptus has fallen asleep following the pain he just succumbed to but suddenly a hand grabs at your wrist, removing your hand from his hair as he presses a kiss to your knuckles. his eyes are back on you, watching every miniscule move you make, "you mean more than anything."

heat burns up your neck, rising to your cheeks and forcing you to break eye contact with him. it is only then that you realise that xiao values these nights in your company more than anything. there's solace in being with you, a breath of air that isn't suffocating to him when you're near him. that is worth more than being a hero in someone's story - even more so the concept of rushing into danger when he could stay here, listening to the soft sounds of your breathing at his side.

© https-heizou 2023.

[izicodes]

Monk Mode | Study Hack

I read an article on Business Insider that was called "How The 'Monk Mode' Productivity Hack Cured My Procrastination" and I was intrigued because I never heard of a study hack like this before! I learnt a lot from that post and researched more about it, so I'm here to share what I found! Hopefully it'll help someone!

So, are you struggling to concentrate on your work or studies? "Monk Mode" might be the solution for you! By eliminating distractions and committing to a single task, you can achieve a state of intense focus and productivity.

Learn about how to enter "Monk Mode" and improve your concentration and results~!

What is Monk Mode?

Monk Mode is a term used to describe an intense and focused approach to studying or working. It involves eliminating distractions and other activities that may interfere with your concentration, and committing to a single task for an extended period of time.

“Monk mode is going into a hyperbolic chamber, where you can go to do a maximum amount of training in a short amount of time. It is dialing in on what’s really important and eliminating everything that’s not important so you can have the time, energy, focus, and money to really create what it is that you want.” - Gavin Speaks on YouTube

When you enter Monk Mode, you essentially dedicate yourself entirely to your studies, blocking out all other distractions and activities until you have achieved your goal. This can involve turning off your phone or other electronic devices, avoiding social media, limiting interactions with others, and even setting up a designated study space that is free from distractions.

The steps to Monk Mode

Create a distraction-free environment

Set a clear goal

Prioritize your work

Eliminate decision fatigue by planning ahead

Create to-do lists

No multitasking

Set a realistic timeframe to be in Monk Mode

Take breaks

Stay hydrated

Use headphones

Limit social interactions

Use productivity tools

Stay consistent as it creates a habit

Evaluating your session at the end

Celebrate your successes

In terms of productivity tools, you could use the Pomodoro technique, "Eat The Frog", time blocking, Eisenhower Matrix, Kanban boards, mind mapping and 80/20 rule (also known as the Pareto Principle)! I'll make a post about these soon!

The Goal?

The goal of "Monk Mode" is to maximize your focus and productivity by minimizing any potential distractions or interruptions. This can help you to stay on track and achieve your goals in a more efficient and effective manner, allowing you to make the most of your study time and achieve better results.

Here are some addition articles to read about Monk Mode:

How the Monk Mode productivity hack cured my procrastination - LINK

What is Monk Mode? Monk Mode Benefits, Strategies, and Planning - LINK

How to use the ‘Monk Mode’ productivity and life hack - LINK

What is 'monk mode' and how can it boost productivity? - LINK

Hopefully this helps someone out there, especially my fellow programmers who are learning new languages/technologies! Thanks for reading and happy coding! 😸👍🏾💗

[zepskies]

Hey, Yep! Have you ever had writer's block? And if so, how did you break it?

Hey, Arty! 💜

Oh, definitely. 😅 No writer is safe from the dreaded state of "writer's block," but I do have some tactics I use to get through it...

5 Tips for Beating Writer's Block

Start plotting with an outline. ✍🏽

There are two kinds of writers, in my opinion:

Architects: writers who outline.

Adventurers: writers who freeform.

In most respects, I consider myself an Architect. My brain craves structure. So the way I beat writer's block while working on a project is by having a roadmap of what's going to happen next. That's thanks to my outline.

Even freeformers can develop some kind of pre-writing plan, whether that's creating a list of character bios, starting with the basic 3-Act triangle, or writing out a handful of bullet points to get you going.

For my personal process, I'll go from creating the basic premise/summary, to some loose bullet points of the story structure, to then fleshing out into full outlining of each chapter and scene, and finally drafting (and editing).

While I'm outlining, I'm also doing research and fact-checking as needed to get me through to the next scene and the next, until the end. My "roadmap" tends to be very detailed, so when I get to the drafting part, all I should have to reference is my outline.

Now, this doesn't mean that plot points won't change, or get switched around, or get chucked entirely. But if I have the blueprints of the house, I can change a window or a door, or even a whole support beam here and there, so to speak.

2. If I get stuck at any point during the outlining and/or drafting phase, I'll often go back and reread what I have already. 🧐

I'll edit and tweak as I do those readthroughs, whether it's my outline or drafted chapters. It freshens up the earlier scenes and plot points in my head.

In doing so, it'll hopefully unlock ways I can continue the later plot points, and even tie them back to things I'm setting up earlier in the narrative.

3. Revisit the thing that gave you inspiration in the first place! 🍿

Rewatch, reread, revisit the episode, movie, book, story, artwork that stroked your muse and had you daydreaming and brainstorming about the WIP you're working on. That can be a good way to revitalize you when you feel you're getting stuck on something in a plot point, or lacking motivation.

4. Create a music playlist. 🎶

I love doing this, especially for a series. I often create a playlist of songs that remind me of the setting, the characters, the overall story, or the romance I'm trying to create. Whether it's the words or the tone/rhythm that get me going, music inspires me greatly.

5. Go for a walk. ☀️

I walk for exercise, but it also gives me time to daydream and run through scenes in my head while vibing to my music (sometimes looking like a crazy person as I nod and make hand motions lmao).

This helps me clear my head, get some fresh air, then come back to my laptop with a little more pep in my brain, ready to pick up where I left off while writing. 👌🏽

Thank you so much for this question, @artyandink! (Sorry, meant to tag you when I originally posted.) I hope these ideas help you beat writer's block. 💕 Let me know if you have any additional questions!

[flame-cat]

Part 1 / Part 2 (you are here) / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

Phil is actually doing alright, this time.

No, really.

That breakdown earlier? To be expected. He's been through a lot recently. Of course he's going to have a bit of a cry, maybe a nightmare or two. That's normal. Earned, even. But that was because he was sitting still. He forgot the most important part of maintaining mental health- movement. Activity.

This time, Phil is pacing.

He's careful not to get too mindless about it. If he slips into lethargy, lets time pass and pass and pass while he lays catatonic, he's going to break. That can't happen. He counts his steps, counts the birds, pays attention to his surroundings. He checks every corner for secret elevators or unprotected blocks. He clears away the foliage. He organizes his inventory. Once. Twice. Fiddles with his things.

(Avoids the chest and the hat and the duckie.)

Phil is doing better now. He got it all out of his system, and now he's focused. He's planning. He's plotting.

That fucking bear. That fucking bear. He's going to kill it. He's going to raze this island into nothingness. He's going to rain hellfire down on anyone that stands between him and his kids. He's going to get out of here and kill and rage and they will suffer him.

He's going to find his kids. He is. He is.

(He's failed them too much already.)

He doesn't have his photo album with him. If he did, he would be looking through it, flipping through page after page of precious memories. As it stands, he can only rely on his mind's eye for it.

(How long until he can't anymore, until the faces of his loved ones become smudged beyond recognition from time and isolation?)

He was going about it all wrong earlier. Waiting. Listening. Laying helpless and cathartic, pliant, malleable. Sitting pretty like the caged bird they want him to be, waiting for someone to come rescue him.

Phil is no damsel.

All aside, he knew when he came here it might be a trap, that something might happen to him. He was prepared for this. It's no surprise, no great loss that he's trapped now. The only downside is that he can't look for his kids right now.

But he'll get out. Hopefully on his own.

The game, he realized some time ago, isn't just to break him. That could be achieved in other ways, of course, and the federation is much too clever not to go for two birds in one stone. No, they're also trying to distract.

Just like with Forever, if everyone is preoccupied with looking for him, trying to save him, they won't be looking for the eggs. It's all smoke and mirrors.

Phil won't allow that.

If they do come for him, what will they do? The blocks are protected, the door locked with no key. It'll take ages to get him out. Time better spent looking for their children. Phil can get out on his own, and he will tell them as much- that they must leave him to his own devices and find their kids first.

(Phil is no help. Has been no help. He's already failed them. He can't be another burden, another weight on the scales balancing their fate so percariously.)

In here, Phil is safe, though bored and distraught. The kids are in danger, who knows where, terrified out of their minds and alone. The more time passes, the more likely that...

(Why is their stuff here, why is it here, why did they put it here, why why why-)

So no, should they come for him, Phil will not accept their help.

Phil is pacing.

It's impossible to tell how long he's been here. He already lost time with his breakdown earlier. Fucking scuffed. Washed, even. It could've been hours or days, he has no idea.

He has no idea how to get out.

He's tried hitting things, obviously, that's basically all he did for the first couple hours or so. Punching, kicking, ramming his body into things, tearing at the hanging plants. There are neat piles of plant matter in his inventory now. He has taken a few leaves out and torn them apart, methodically, bit by bit, and scattered them at the birds.

The birds. Will they survive in here? Will he need to kill them and eat them to live? It probably won't come to that, not for a long while, but it's worth considering that they seem to have no source of food in here.

Maybe he should feed them.

What, his gapples? Birds can't eat gapples. Phil is an exception. The only thing he will achieve is killing them faster.

The plant matter he has may help, a little. There have to be some seeds in there. He hopes that's enough.

Having a problem to solve, one with a solution at hand, is critical to maintaining his composure. The birds will keep him occupied. He rummages through his inventory, sifting carefully through the leaves and vines he has accumulated, picking apart tiny flowers in search of anything a bird might be able to eat.

They've mostly left him alone so far. At first they scattered to the corners of the room, perching in rafters and eyeing him warily with warning chirps at the others. He feels a little bad that his tantrum earlier had caused them such distress. It seems now enough time has passed that they regard him as another part of their home. Just lazily flitting by, perching on his hat or pecking at his feet. Curious and carefree.

(Still trapped. Poor things.)

Phil has not found any seeds.

He throws the little pile of greenery onto the ground and keeps pacing.

[asirensrage]

Saudade - Chapter 20

Rating: Explicit Pairing: Mikey x OC, Hanma x OC, Ran x OC, Mikey x OC x Draken Fandom: Tokyo Revengers Warnings: swearing, violence, threats of violence, murder, smoking, sex, consensual sex between teenagers, alcohol, recreational drug use, mention of trafficking, torture, family neglect, mentions of sexual violence. isekai OC. memory loss. unbeta’d **warnings are not exhaustive** Summary: No one seems to realize she doesn’t belong until she finally runs into her “new” brother, Hanagaki Takemichi. Now, hearing his story, Takara makes the choice to help him and hopefully find her way home, but faking it til you make it only lasts so long when you start losing the memories of the life you had before. As Takemichi becomes the only family she’s ever known, how far will she go to protect him?

notes: Oh, this chapter. This one's for the Hanma girls. It'll have ripple effects. I hope you like it as much as I do. Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think. <3

also on ao3

fic masterlist - prev chapter

“Hey, Princess.” 

She turns instantly, the anger suddenly sparking at the pet name. “You motherfucker!” She snarls, wishing she had more than a knife in her bag. She wasn’t going to kill him, not yet at least, but she would like to leave some lasting damage. 

“Woah,” he laughs, holding up his hands in surrender. “I come in peace. Just wanted to see you.”

“You’re going to feel my foot up your ass!” 

“Come on…even brought you a gift.” He holds out a pack of cigarettes, waving it slightly like it’s a treat and she’s a dog come to beg. 

“Fuck off,” she snaps, insult added to injury. She storms forward, intent on at least knocking the shit out of him. “You nearly got my brother killed!”

Hanma, for all his attempts to draw her near, simply shrugs. “These things happen in a gang, princess. Especially in a fight with the leader. Your brother was going to get there, one way or another.” His eyes lower, tracing over her figure. They narrow slightly at the outfit she’s wearing. It’s one of the ones Ran gave her, so she knows it’s not because it doesn’t look good. “Especially when you’ll rescue him.” 

“These things happen?” she asks incredulously. “The next thing that’s going to happen is I’m going to curb-stomp your fucking teeth out!”

He leans forward, grinning at her. “You think you can reach?”

She kicks, intent on aiming between his legs. He blocks her before she can, but she doesn’t let that stop her. She punches only to be forced back as he moves forward. She’s not on her rollerblades since she needs to replace a part and he’s using it to his advantage. They continue but nearly every hit she tries to make is blocked until she finally cracks him one across the mouth. He grins at her, teeth bloody. He spits on the floor and she can’t help the face she makes in response. 

 Takara doesn’t know how it happens. She’s shoved into a corner, Hanma pressing himself into her with one of his hands holding her wrists to keep her from lashing out. He has a knee pressed between her thighs, keeping her in place while limiting the way she can move to kick him. 

It doesn’t stop her from struggling, from trying to get out of his hold. She even makes herself lean forward until she can bite his arm, teeth digging in as hard as she can until she tastes blood. Another moment where she regrets the height she has in this body. If she was taller, she could rip his throat out for this. Anything to make him let go. 

“Fuck!” he swears, trying to yank his arm from her mouth. “Fucking stop! I’m trying to fucking talk to you, princess!” 

“Fuck you!” she spits at him, mostly saliva than his blood which is bleeding into his shirt. “I don’t wanna fucking talk to you!” She places her foot flat on the wall behind her, using the leverage to shove herself up into him. It’s unexpected enough to catch him off guard as she slams the top of her head into his chin. 

His head snaps back, teeth clanking together. She hopes they break. Takara tries again to shove herself forward, pushing him off balance, but Hanma is getting used to her and forces her back, even with the blood now on his lips.

“Can’t make it easy, can you princess?”

“For you? Never.”

He grins at her. “Wouldn’t like you so much if you did.” He shifts himself forward, body pressing against hers. He’s warm and she can feel the tension of his muscles against her. “Stop fighting,” he murmurs, his lips against her ear. “Just let me talk to you.” 

“I’m going to fucking murder you,” she tells him. 

He looks at her like she just confessed her love…and it was reciprocated. “Promise?” he asks softly. 

She scrunches up her face at the way he says it. “Not like that,” she recoils slightly but doesn’t get anywhere. “Let me fucking go.”

“Not until you fucking listen,” he says, pressing a kiss against her cheek. She snaps at him, teeth flashing with intent to tear into his skin since her hands are still restricted. He just laughs, moving his face out of her reach. 

She should have headbutted him, but the top of her head already still hurts from the last attempt and it had yet to provide her with any space. She has no choice. She needs a new play. Swallowing down her anger, trying not to choke on it, she glares up at him. “What? What the fuck do you want?” 

He seems to realize that she’s actually listening and he pulls back slightly, just enough to let her breathe and so he can look at her. He still doesn’t let go. “Listen,” he leans down slightly. “Shit’s gonna get worse before it gets better. Don’t fucking ally with Toman.”

“This because you got kicked out?” she sneers. 

“I don’t give a fuck about Toman, but your connection to them is going to bite you in the ass, princess.”

She looks up at him, finally listening. “What? Why?”

He shakes his head. “Can’t get into it, but trust me, alright?”

“Why the fuck would I trust you? You tried to kill my brother.”

He shifts, thigh pressing harder against her and pulling her forward slightly so that she’s resting on it more than against the wall. Her breath hitches in her chest at the feeling. “Because princess. You’re mine, remember?” Hanma bends a little more, mouth capturing hers. 

Hanma kisses with purpose and Takara finds herself opening up without really thinking about it. He’s good at this, one of his hands moving to the small of her back and pulling her closer to him. The other one still holds her wrists, keeping her from shoving him away, but she’s not even thinking about it right now. All she can think of is the way he tastes like the cigarettes she’s been missing.  

“Fuck,” he mutters against her mouth. He lets go of her wrists, his hand moving to the back of her neck to hold her there. She moves her arms over his shoulders, rocking her hips against his thigh. She can’t really help it. It feels good, even if she still wants to make him bleed. She digs her hand into his hair and yanks it back, forcing his lips from hers. He groans, bucking into her. 

“What the fuck are you two doing?” she asks, her voice heavy with want. It’s heady knowing she has this power over him, the way he watches her, and doesn’t make her stop from tightening her grip and pulling a little harder. 

“You gonna give me somethin’?” he asks, gold eyes staring down at her. His pupils are nearly blown wide. “Won’t betray him.”

She huffs, laughing slightly at the loyalty. “So determined to stay leashed…” she mutters. She mentally thanks Ran for giving her this knowledge, for teaching her what it means to make someone break like this. He’d probably hate it that she was actually thinking about this. But needs must, as they say. She hooks her leg around his waist and rolls her hips into his. He’s hard against her. The grip on her neck tightens and his eyes darken as he looks at her. 

“Playing dangerous, princess?” His thumb presses against her pulse point. 

“Always,” she says. Takara waits to see if he’ll take the bait. 

He kisses her again and when he finally breaks it, moving his lips against her neck and sucking his own marks into her skin, he does. “Joined another gang,” he mutters. “Gonna take Toman fuckers down.”

“Like,” her breath hitches and she tries not to moan. “Like the other one? Valhalla?”

“Nah…” His hand moves from the back of her neck, sliding up her side, under her shirt and resting under her breast. “Better.”

She lets him take it further. Her head falls back against the wall, rocking her hips against him. She should feel worse about this, about what she’s doing at this moment, but she doesn’t. Takara tries not to think about what that says about her. 

🔪

When they’re done, when she’s straightening out her clothes and fixing her skirt, as he lights a cigarette, she realizes that she doesn’t regret it. She should feel ashamed that she fucked him in an alley, that anyone could have seen them, but she doesn’t. All she can focus on is the new information she gained…and the way her muscles feel relaxed after a workout. It’d be fun, she thinks, to fuck him properly, like the way she slept with Ran…but the thought of dealing with Hanma after that is enough to stop that thought in its tracks. 

He offers her the cigarette from his mouth and she takes it without thinking, inhaling deeply and letting the nicotine calm her nerves. 

“You’re a dirty one, aren’t you princess?” He asks, grinning at her. 

“Fuck off.” The reply comes automatically. 

“Already did,” his grin somehow grows wider with that response. 

She doesn’t reply, taking another drag of the cigarette and exhaling slowly. Another gang was already forming and while he was smart enough not to give out too much information, it was enough for her to start planning. Kisaki thought he had all the chips laid out, but Takara was a team player and he clearly wasn’t. He’d lose just for that. 

“Here,” he tosses the pack of smokes that he held out like a prize earlier. She throws it back at his head. Hanma laughs, catching it from the air. “It’s not a reward, princess. I got it for you ‘cause I know you won’t get your own.” He hands it to her this time. “Just take it. You can think of me when you taste it.” He raises his eyebrows at that. 

“Ugh,” she mutters but she does take the pack and shove it in her bag. “You’re the worst.”

“Yeah? That why your teeth marks are in my neck as you tried to keep from screaming?”

She spits at the ground, remembering the taste of his skin and the blood she drew. “You ever think it might have been disappointment? Should have ripped it out.”

He leans down towards her. “Wanna try again?” His hand cradles her cheek, thumb brushing across lips still swollen from his kisses.

She gives into the urge to shove the cigarette into his skin, hitting the inside of his wrist. He pulls his hand back fast, cursing as the burn sets in. “That’s for fucking touching me without permission in the first place.” 

His gaze looks slightly manic as he looks at her, blowing softly against the torched skin. “Worth it.”

“Next time it’ll be a knife.” She drops the cigarette butt on the ground and stomps it out. “Thanks for the release, Hanma.”

His hand shoots out, grabbing her wrist again to stop her. “Thought I told you to call me Shuji?”

She reaches into her bag without looking away from him, fingers clasping the knife that she has stored. She pulls it out, flicking it open like she practiced a thousand times in the mirror. She presses it against his groin. “My patience has run out. Let me go or you’ll never fuck another girl in your life.” 

His eyes spark and she can practically see the way his breathing picks up. He lets go slowly though and she steps back, not looking away. 

“Bye, princess,” he calls out. “Til next time.”

“There won’t be a next time!” 

🔪

It takes her three hours, after showering and scrubbing the scent of him off of her skin, buried in the sheets of her bed before the guilt sinks in and she pulls out her phone. She texts Ran before she can stop herself. <I’m sorry.>

It takes less than half an hour before he responds. <for what, pretty?>

She doesn’t respond, she doesn’t know how to tell him that everything she does is for her brother. Rumours spread and she knows he’s going to find out about what she’s done with Hanma.

<sure you don’t need help?> he texts again. Their last conversation had him aware that she had more going on than she let on. <this have anything to do with your stalker?> 

<I’m sorry> she texts again. 

This time, he doesn’t respond. 

tag list: @raith-way @zeleniafic @veetlegeuse @chickensarentcheap @residentdormouse

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[channelinglament]

It has been another day in that damned lair. You wish you never met Leo, you wish you never befriended him. After all, he is the reason you are stuck here.

You were in his room, as per usual. Your "schedule" was was waking up in Leo's arms, eating with him and spending the rest of your time in your captors watch (and arms). It was suffocating.

The only time you were left alone is when Leo went on a mission. And even in that moments he was coming back rather quickly. And while he was away from the lair, you were either in another dimension, in case "you'll be in danger" or try to run away. Either just chained in his room.

After your first attempt to escape, Leo found you and lost his trust. Let's not talk about the punishment you received.

It took so long to gain his trust back, you had to pretend to give in to the Stockholm Syndrome. You had to pretend to love him. That you loved being near him, and his existence in general.

But it finally paid off, because he didn't chain you to his bed. He just left you with a quick peck on the cheek. Yes, everything goes according to the plan. You didn't want to be suspicious so you stayed in the lair a few times. When he came back from the first time of leaving you unchained, he looked so happy and relieved. So gleeful. Did your captor really think that his dream has became true? Hah

He went to another mission. Leo will come back soon, so you had to think quickly.

You rushed outside, somehow, you remembered every turn and finally were getting to the other side. You're gonna be free, finally.

You managed to get away. You ran, you didn't really know where, since your home wasn't safe too. And what will you say to police? "I was kidnapped by a turtle"? Let's say that but without turtle. Hopefully it'll work. How long has it been? You've been walking aimlessly, trying to find anybody who can help you, but it was night. Seems like it's around 2 or 3AM? You had to stay in the shadows, in case Leo already came back and found out you escaped.

The moment you saw a police station you were relieved. Finally. You will be free, you won't have to be afraid anymore.

But a few blocks before you were nearby the station, you heard a low chuckle. You knew this voice, you will always recognize it.

He found you

Despite having an eerie smile, he looked hurt.

" Do you want me to break your legs to prevent you from running away from me? From my love? ". He started walking in your direction. No, after all you came through, you couldn't give up! You had to fight back. But the moment you tried to move, he used his ōdachi. You were back in the lair, back in his room. He took your wrist, his grip was strong. No, you.. You had to at least try to fight back.

He managed to block and easily dodged most of your attacks. But you still managed to punch his jawline.

The look on his face scared you.

" One more chance. I'm giving you one more chance to stop resisting! " he grumbled.

It seemed like he had glossy eyes.. it couldn't be.. right? Even if he wanted to cry, he still looked even terrifying.

" you were pretending the whole time right? I noticed it in the beginning.. but I really wanted to trust you. " - he muttered, looking upset.

" I just want you to love me. " he looked like he was about to break down

[silverdune]

..humbug | prologue.

"please.. forgive the intrusion of us three festive spectres.."

minors dni. ageless blogs dni. blank blogs dni. you'll be blocked.

..humbug masterlist | next ->

character(s): choi seungcheol, yoon jeonghan, joshua hong as the ghosts of christmas past, present and future (ft. you as scrooge, mentioned ?? svt member)

tags: retail worker!reader, reader doesn't like the holidays, 95z are sarcastic and they sorta break-in(??) (it'll make sense), banter, mild suspense, ghosts, reader gets freaked out and questions their reality, retail stores during the holidays, stress, food (eating), christmas music, past relationships/breakups, crying, angst, explicit language

word count: 4.0k

summary: you come home, stressed from your christmas eve shift and three people have shown up in your apartment. they claim they're the ghosts of christmas past, present and future, but a christmas carol is a work of fiction.. right?

a/n: i didn't expect the prologue to be this long haha but here it is. hopefully i can get the rest of this up by christmas, if not, just after?? anyways, i hope you enjoy;

Christmas Eve.

It's always dialled up to eleven on the last day before Christmas. The speakers are only playing holiday music, you've got to wear the tacky sweater and your stress levels are indisputably at their highest.

This isn't your favourite time of year by any means.

Every chance you get, you eye what seems to be the only clock in the entire store. It rings an hour before closing time, and you've got to spend a further hour clearing everything away and shutting up shop before you can spend two blissful days in solitude.

The queue for the checkouts stretches as far as the eye can see. As you pass by to take a stack of baskets back to the entrance, you can't help but take a gander at everyone's trolleys, filled to the brim with their last minute buys. It truly makes you wonder why anyone would wait until the last second to get everything in for the holidays.

The journey is slow as people go back and forth across the aisles, trying their best to gather all the stuff they could possibly need and want. Your mind is ticking over, wishing and waiting for your shift to be done with so you can go home and eat.

The stack of baskets finally end up back in the holder, and you're immediately called away to jump back on tills.

An hour becomes forty-five minutes, to half an hour, to fifteen minutes, to shutters down.

The speakers are turned off and you glance at your co-workers with a heavy sigh. One of them remarks that it's another Christmas Eve over with!

You snort to yourself and say beneath your breath, "Ain't I glad for it."

You get to work wiping down the tills, making sure everything is tidied away, and helping a few other staff members replace leftover stock from customers who could not stomach the neverending queue. Soon enough, it's time for you to go home.

You had exchanged gifts with the rest of the staff throughout the week, and as you head to your car, you wish everyone a happy holiday and new year. They shout back with more energy than your sleep deprived self could manage, and you climb into your car before starting the engine and driving home.

You keep the radio off. You had heard enough Christmas music on this day alone.

Pulling into the tiny driveway of your house sometime later, you clamber out, collecting your bag of presents from your friends at work as well as your shoulder bag. Eventually, you get it all to the front door, and upon entering the code, you almost fall into your abode and haphazardly shut the door behind you.

The bags hit the floor. Your shoes are the first thing to come flying off, followed by your hat, coat and scarf. It had started snowing recently, though thankfully none had fallen so far tonight.

Stepping into your house, you take a deep breath in then turn on all the lights. You then decide to head to your bedroom and get changed into your pyjamas. Much better.

It's almost 10pm when you start preparing dinner. Nothing too fancy or elaborate, just a quick bite to eat before you inevitably get into bed and fall into the deepest sleep imaginable. Slumber had been slipping away for days, you know you'll be thankful for the first good night's sleep in ages.

The house is quiet and still, save for the sounds of the hood fan above your stove, the clacking of pots and pans, the faucet turning on and off as you wash your hands, and the timer on your phone letting you know your meal is done.

As you plate your dinner and toss the pans into the sink, the wind picks up outside. It howls at your kitchen window, startling you a little, before you notice drops of something fall in front of the nearby streetlight.

Immediately, you think it's snow, and a quick poke of the head outside your front door confirms that theory. You hum, then go back inside before your dinner gets cold.

You take the dish into the living room and place it on the table before taking a seat on the floor. Without a second to waste, you tuck in.

The wind gets stronger with each passing minute. You figure the snow could only be getting heavier. Perhaps it's cold enough for it to stick.

Thoughts pass absent-mindedly through your head as you eat. Gotta call parents in the morning. Make sure dinner is prepared. They're coming at around 2pm. I need to tidy up a bit before they get here too.

Finishing up your dinner, you get up to grab your phone from your bag. It lets you know it's just past 11pm and your eyes widen in surprise - has time really gone that fast?

As you re-enter the living room, you ensure you have an alarm set for 9am the following morning, then pick up your plate and take it into the kitchen.

The wind grows rather fierce outside, and the howling becomes.. eerie. A blizzard hails and you wonder when it's going to calm down, if it will at all.

You clear everything up and put everything back, then wipe the countertops down. It's an extra step before you can go to bed, but you know you'll be thankful for it in the morning. Once you switch off all the lights, you head into the bathroom and brush your teeth.

The baying wind causes a noticeable raucous outside as you splash your face with warm water and turn off the faucet. The nature of it is almost otherworldly and it brings you to a halt.

Never before have your hairs stood on head at the mere appearance of a gale force wind.

You pick up your towel to dry your face, now slightly perturbed at just how forceful these gusts are.

You won't lie, it's making you feel uneasy.

Setting the towel on the side, you hurry out the bathroom to switch on one of the floor lamps so you can feel comfortable turning off the bathroom light. You're not sure why the weather is making you feel like this, but the way it's picked up in the last hour is genuinely starting to scare you.

Your mouth is a few seconds ahead of your brain when you call out, "Hello?" You shake your head slightly, unsure of where that exclamation came from.

What, do you suppose there are ghosts here?

A chuckle escapes you - surely not. It is just an incredibly powerful wind, coupled with snow. This has happened hundreds of times before, this is nothing new!

Exhaling, you turn off the bathroom light, turn off the floor lamp, then go into your bedroom. The clock reads just shy of midnight.

For some reason, this makes you pause.

A lump forms in your throat that you promptly swallow. Nothing to fear, you think, and get into bed with the promise of a wonderful night's rest.

You close your eyes, knowing you'll be off to sleep in no time..

Thud.

You jolt upright.

"What the fuck?"

You heart picks up speed. You place a hand on your chest as you try and take the deepest breaths possible.

Your shaky hand reaches out to turn on the bedside lamp. Slowly, you pull back the duvet and get out of bed, grabbing your phone in the process and switching on the torch.

Inch by inch, you trudge out of the bedroom and head in the direction of the kitchen, where you assume the noise came from. It sounded like a clattering of pans.. you don't even know what would've caused it.

But more than that, you are chilled to the bone to discover you can.. fucking hear voices?

Coming to a stop in the middle of the hallway, every sense is on high alert as you point your torch to the floor. What the fuck is going on, and who the fuck is in my house?

Assuredly not what you were expecting in the early hours of Christmas morning.

Nobody had entered the house as you were getting ready for bed. There was no break-in, no disturbances other than the loud wind, and certainly no sign that someone had managed to find another way to enter.

This is truly something else.

And what gets to you more than anything, is that as you start treading carefully towards the kitchen again, the voices become more distinctive.. and there's three of them.

.

.

Usually, a more graceful entrance through the chimney would be in order.

But where no chimney exists, the next best option is.. the oven.

"Damn it!"

"Good one, Joshua.."

"Don't look at me, Jeonghan. I'm not the one who decides to get thrown down- or I guess in this case out- first." Joshua picks himself up off the ground and dusts down his jacket. Jeonghan follows suit, then moves to brush off Joshua's shoulders before getting shooed away. "And Seungcheol's going to get a lovely entrance, I bet.."

Much to their shock - and joy - Seungcheol flies through the open oven door and lands with a thud against the kitchen island opposite.

Jeonghan and Joshua both guffaw as the latter closes the oven. "Ah, I'm almost glad I spoke too soon."

"Bastard," mutters Seungcheol beneath his breath, rubbing his head as he scrambles to his feet. "Could've helped me.."

Both Jeonghan and Joshua - whom Seungcheol unabashedly nicknames The Bothersome Brothers - look at one another then turn to Seungcheol in mock sympathy. For dramatic effect, Jeonghan gently covers his mouth with his hand as Joshua shakes his head in shame.

"Oh.. we are so sorry, forgive us, dear elder.." Jeonghan drones, hand now on his chest to feign sadness.

Seungcheol fixes them a less-than-pleased glare and rolls one shoulder back at a time to relieve some tension. "I will roast you both."

The pair fake a gasp simultaneously. "The horror!" says Joshua.

"Couldn't imagine!" follows Jeonghan, back of hand on his forehead.

"Alright, enough you two. We need to figure out where we are and who we're assisting."

The two drop the act and instantly shift into gear. "Well.." begins Joshua, putting his hands behind his back and taking a walk through the kitchen, "we're in a house.."

Jeonghan snorts. Seungcheol does not have the patience for this.

"Seriously?"

"What?" Joshua exclaims; Seungcheol's raised brow says it all. "..Fine." Out of thin air, he retrieves a large, ancient book that he opens to about the halfway point. He recites the information within back to the other men. "LN.FN. Late 20s-early 30s. Retail worker. Reason for hating the holidays.."

Shriek.

.

.

When you wander into your kitchen, you let out an earth-shattering scream.

You abruptly reach for the nearest light switch and turn it on, revealing three men standing in front of your oven, one of them fumbling to hold onto a giant book as it nearly slips out of his hands.

The flashlight on your phone gets shut off. You stare blankly at the trio, unable to fathom just why they are currently standing in your kitchen.

"Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?" you yell, hoping to God this is either a very realistic nightmare, or that if it is real, one of your neighbours understands there are currently three intruders in your home so they can come and help you.

The man furthest to the right takes a step forward. They are all noticeably just as freaked out as you, and it befuddles you since, you know, they are the ones in your house.

"Our sincerest apologies.." He says it so intently and it's disquieting. "We did not mean to frighten you."

The man in the centre continues, "Please.. forgive the intrusion of us three festive spectres.."

The man holding the book completes the sentence, "You must be N." He smiles, and now you have to try and wrap your head around the fact that he just said your name. "It is very nice to meet you."

You are at a complete loss for words. Everything goes still as you try and make sense of all of this.

You try again with asking questions. "..Please tell me who you are and where you came from." The words leave you in a controlled yet urgent tone.

"Bizarrely, of the two queries, the latter will be the more difficult to understand.." remarks the man in the centre.

What in the- "What in the name is that supposed to mean?" you ask.

Bookkeeper answers, "What he's trying to say is that our method of arrival was both unconventional and incomprehensible."

Your head is spinning irrevocably. The walls feel like they are closing in. Everything about this is wrong and you just want to wake up from whatever sordid dream this is.

"Okay.." You try again, this time with a shaky voice. "I am going to politely ask you- in fact, no, I am going to demand that you leave my house this instant or I will call the police!" Your voice quickly reaches its peak volume and the trio are taken aback.

The first man to speak to you tries to de-escalate the situation. "We can explain why we're here!"

"And how!" says the man in the middle.

Good God, is this nightmare over already?

At that moment, the three men form a line. One by one, they introduce themselves.

"My name is Seungcheol. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."

"My name is Jeonghan, I am the Ghost of Christmas Present."

"My name is Joshua, I am the Ghost of Christmas Future."

They bow in unison.

You laugh.

They glance at one another as they lift their heads, then look over at you. Both arms are tucked across your stomach and you are fully bellowing out laughter.

Their backs straighten. Joshua tucks the book under his arm. The three exchange another glance before they turn back to you.

Once you have finally calmed down and wiped a stray tear, you come back to the room and say, "Holy shit, that is the funniest thing I've heard all year."

Jeonghan goes to speak, "Um- we're- we're afraid that it's-"

You continue chuckling, effectively interrupting him. "That is quite the cover story."

"Beg your pardon?" Joshua cocks a brow.

"All fun and games, huh? Thought you'd get a last minute steal in, and if I found you, you'd pose as the three ghosts of Christmas from the Dickens novel." A snort involuntarily escapes you at the ridiculousness of it all.

The trio perk up at that. Jeonghan mutters to them, "That author's name again!"

Seungcheol gazes at you. "Um, excuse me? Did you mention.. Dickens?"

You stop. "Yes? His famous novel, A Christmas Carol has three ghosts that show up in it: Christmas past, present and future.." Their bemused facial expressions are not lost on you. "Surely you.. must have heard of it if you're referencing the characters and literally introducing yourselves as them." You are still in disbelief over that.

"Well," Joshua begins, "to be honest, we've only heard of the novel through other visits we've done.."

"Yes, literally everyone we have interacted with has brought that story up in connection to us but we have no knowledge of it!" Jeonghan explains.

"Some have even gone as far as to say we are actually from that novel and we've come to life!" says Seungcheol.

Frozen solid to the spot you're standing on, you take a good look at three men in front of you. They are all wearing similar attire of a vintage persuasion: suits under long trenchcoats with slacks. Their hair is styled in a way reminiscent of the 40s.

This is baffling to say the least.

Festive spectres..

"Jeonghan, is it?"

Jeonghan eyes you. "Yes?"

"You mentioned you were.. festive spectres.. Is-" You cannot comprehend the fact you're going to inquire about this. "Is that.. legit?"

Jeonghan smiles. "Undoubtedly. And if you want to know the answer to your other query.. We entered through your oven."

Your jaw drops.

That's enough.

"Okay!" You enter the kitchen and go to stand behind them so you can escort them out of the house. "Thank you very much for your company, but-"

As soon as your hand brushes Joshua's shoulder, you squeal and step back.

He is frightfully cold.

The men pivot and see you standing on the other side of the kitchen, back pressed against the sink with one hand covering the other.

"Oh!" Seungcheol understands. "Yes, we are.. quite chilly." The other two catch on and nod in agreement.

Your pupils grow three sizes. "Quite chilly?" you scoff. "You're a damn glacier, fuck.."

"Again, apologies," Seungcheol quietly laughs. "Comes with the territory."

You can do nothing but stare at them; this all well beyond you at this rate.

Joshua opens the book again to the same place as before. "Your name is N.. Late 20s-early 30s.."

"Hang on a minute!" You point a finger. "How the hell do you have that information?"

"Oh! When we are assigned folks to visit during the early morn of Christmas day, we're given a basic information log on who they are and their reasons for disliking the holiday season," says Joshua with a grin on his face.

That last part throws you off. "My.. reasons for disliking Christmas?"

"Yes! A few are listed here actually.. The music, working in a retail store, putting up with distant relatives, commercialisation, consumerism, etc, etc.."

The list is all accurate, but something stings in the back of your mind. You ignore it. For now.

"Right and as the self-proclaimed ghosts of Christmas whenever, you're here to try and make me less of a Grinch?"

"Grinch..?" Joshua furrows his brow in confusion.

"We had a few people mention The Grinch, remember?" says Jeonghan, trying to poke at Joshua's memory. "He's a cartoon of a character who hates Christmas so much he tries to steal it."

"And eventually his heart grows three sizes and he learns to love the holiday and be more cheerful," you finish explaining. Now your head is spinning much faster.

It eventually registers with Joshua, "Ah! Yes, I do remember that story now. Not mentioned as frequently as the other one."

"I mean.. no surprise there, you are literally telling people you're three of the characters from that story." You rub your forehead in exasperation. Quite frankly, you're tired, stressed and just want to go back to bed.

"So, I think with all that settled, we should get to the bottom of what really upsets you about the holidays," announces Seungcheol.

Your eyes split open. Huh?

"Excuse you?"

"The real reason for your hurt at this time of year," Jeonghan informs.

"Yeah, I got that part, but the fuck?"

You are yet to find a good explanation for anything occurring right now and these three "ghosts" want to unpack all the problems?

It is still unclear if they are even telling the truth!

Joshua closes the book and sighs. "I listed many reasons, all of which are perfectly valid and understandable, but there's something much deeper."

"It has been troubling you since well.. last year," laments Jeonghan.

"And only when you confront it, can you learn to move forward," Seungcheol affirms.

Your legs nearly turn to jelly and you have to prop yourself up on the side of the sink just to remain steady.

The something much deeper?

The thing troubling you?

The thing you must confront?

You have to turn away from them.

Staring out of the window, all the memories come flooding back.

You had spent three Christmases together.

Everything was going so well. You had considered moving in together up until late last year.

That was when things got worse.

You grew ever so distant in the weeks leading up to Christmas. It was to be your fourth together and yet, by the time December rolled around, you both decided it was best if you broke it off.

No closure. No final words. No cards or gifts or well wishes from either of you.

Truly a lonely holiday.

You had of course spent it surrounded by family, but after almost four years together, it hurt to have an empty seat beside you at the dinner table.

Even waltzing around your own house reminded you of everything you shared. You'd often stay the night at each other's places.

Now it was your second Christmas apart, and despite all the time that has passed, it could still bring you to tears just thinking about it.

You often wonder what he's doing. If he ever thinks of you. It crosses your mind that he clearly hasn't, otherwise he'd pick up the phone, but the hypocrisy would be so loud, and it never stopped you from thinking about him.

With a heavy weight on your shoulders, you take a deep breath in. It occurs to you that the three ghosts have been standing behind you this entire time, and you brush a tear away before turning around.

"Sorry.." you whisper. To them? To him? To yourself? You don't know.

"It is more than okay. We are only here to help," says Seungcheol, gently.

"And if you'd like us to, we can guide you through these three different times," follows Jeonghan. "But it is up to you."

"If you wish us to leave, we shall," Joshua vows on behalf of all three of them.

Something uncanny twists in your stomach. You are unsure of when or how the atmosphere shifted but, you find yourself unable to do much else but choke a sob. They watch on sympathetically, unable to conceal their sorrow.

"How do I- kn-know that you're really those ghosts?" you sniff.

"Well, aside from the temperature, does this help you?" wonders Joshua, before he levitates the book above his palm before throwing it into the air, causing it to vanish.

You blink. "W-Wow.."

"And perhaps.." Seungcheol backtracks out of the kitchen, subtly guiding you towards the standing mirror in the hallway. You follow, and once you're standing in front of the glass, it reveals zero reflection of the man beside you.

"Oh, shit-" You can't see, but Seungcheol smirks behind you. You lift a hand to the mirror and gulp. "Okay.. So.. How would you plan on guiding me through these times?"

"I answer your question with another: who do you see before you?"

".. Not you," you joke. The trio chuckle. "But, seriously.. myself, of course."

"Yourself, when?"

"Now. Today."

"And what year is it currently?"

"..2023."

"Correct. Now.." Seungcheol lifts an arm, then moves his hand in a circle motion, causing a spiralling ripple effect on the mirror.

Your mouth gapes open and a gasp escapes. This is insane, how is this even real?

Seungcheol eventually lowers his arm. "..What do you see?"

The picture clears. You say what you see. "Christmas lights.. That's the front of my house! It's snowing.. There's someone laughing-"

The words get caught in your throat.

Wonwoo.

Your ex.

"That's.." You struggle to say his name. It's like you haven't said it in years. "..Wonwoo."

The name tastes of salt on your tongue. Or maybe that's the tears that have since started shedding with reckless abandon.

"Your ex-boyfriend, correct?"

You swallow thickly. "Y-Yes.."

The picture starts to change. It becomes so much darker. The tone is shifting. It was only a vignette of the past and yet you wish you could hold onto it for dear life.

The world becomes foggy. The words are mumbled and the voices are not defined. You shudder in your own living room, wiping your cheeks free of tears.

Seungcheol stands before you and holds his hand out.

"I stood you before the mirror, as while it does give you your reflection at present, it can also reflect so much of what has been left in the past. It acts as a window to everything that has transpired to make you who you are."

You look at him, then the mirror, then back at him.

"Take my hand, if you wish to revisit the past."

Pushing your shoulders back, you take a moment to consider whether this is a good idea.

In seconds, your hand ends up in his.

He guides you through the mirror, and as the door closes, your living room is shrouded in darkness.

Jeonghan nudges Joshua, "Admirable."

Joshua nods. "I do hope this brings them some much needed closure."

× tristeetconfus (ave). do not repost. ×

[tachyon-omlette]

so our hvac is fucking dying [ISSUE RESOLVED]

leaving this up for posterity but putting everything under a readmore. thank you to those who helped out

in truth the entire thing has needed replacing for some time but we (my mom & I) can't even afford to get it serviced currently. I've been trying to find some alternative means of funding to avoid ebegging but the situation is getting to a breaking point & might end up with us not having heating during the winter either

a patch job that'll last the rest of the year (which we had done last year) would take about $780. though the patch job from last year only lasted for so long, it'll at least allow us to sleep through the rest of this year's godforsaken heat (& it'd be around/over $10k to get a new ac entirely - which, again, is money we don't have)

my p*yp*l is @tachyonomlette - anything helps but if you'd like an incentive I'll do full-color half-body comms (no nsfw or hateful themes) for $35 each. any hate will be removed/blocked. thank you for your time

(more thorough explanation of the situation under the cut)

[original readmore]

we've had to set the ac well above 90F every day in order to prevent it running 24/7 bc it's physically incapable of cooling the house & even by opening the windows and buying portable mini air coolers (which is all we can afford) we're having problems sleeping & being functional during the day bc we can't get the house cool enough at night either. AND the control panel just shat itself so the ac is stuck on 95F (though it might just need a new battery. hopefully). the heat in the house is ALSO overtaxing our refrigerator, which is ALSO outdated & on the verge of failing if we aren't careful

my mom can barely afford to pay every other expense we have to deal with & I'm not in a position where I can get a job right now. normally my dad (who doesn't live with us) would cover part of the expenses but this year he isn't even willing to help with the district taxes let alone maintenance issues, so we're a little bit in a rough spot rn

[spicybylerpolls]

giggling at 'would finn and noah practice kissing off set' anon.

i have wondered about this, less for fantasy's sake and more because i have intern experience on film sets and know how odd simulated sex scenes can be. but i've never worked with an intimacy co-ord, and i really wish i knew what that process was like. apparently it includes filling out forms literally naming which body parts you are comfortable with your scene partner touching, with which parts of THEIR body. film regulation means no genitals are allowed to touch each other, but im sure this rule was ignored in the olden days/depending on the director (no way can i see this happening on ST tho. it's got too high a profile and lets face it, the duffers arent exactly avant garde auteurs who push the boundaries of cinema.)

im fascinated by this discussion because theres really no way to know what a sex scene might be like until we see s5. sometimes the duffs knock it out the park with originality and vibes (s1, the van scene) and sometimes they're lazy and cheesy as hell (jopper's kiss? arms everywhere, terrible angles and lighting).

but anon's q is most interesting because of finn's anxiety. i am not even a huge st fan before s4, but even i noticed this in his body language. its also apparent in-show if you know what to look for - his little ticks even in s1.

so with a love scene, it's gonna be nerve-racking as hell. i love what prev anon said about him knowing noah well. hopefully that would help them in a hypothetical love scene. they'll have had meetings and discussions with the directors and intimacy co-ord. it'll be awkward but funny, and if theyre passionate about the scene, it could be fantastic. noah esp seems very invested in this storyline. this could calm finn and make him less self conscious.

i think to practice actual kissing off set could spark a lot of press if anyone found out, and it would also say a lot about the actors as people, esp because noah is out. theyre not really old enough yet to reallyyyyy know who they are, so that would probably cause some confusion. (sorry minors reading who think 21+ people have it all figured out, lol. especially artists/people in showbiz, theyre a mess lol)

that said, if they were super comfy with each other, trying special techniques to break the ice, or rehearsing officially (testing for lighting/camera etc on set), they may well kiss as practice. i just can't see this happening in someone's trailer or something. i mean, that's a great fic idea if you're into finn x noah. but scenes like these can really get under an actor's skin, even experienced ones. it all depends on their mental health and boundaries.

i will say that they would doubtless spend a lot of time blocking the scene, meaning getting in position for technical/camera reasons to make sure nudity is kept to the agreed rules. if scenes like this happen in s5, by the end of shooting, finn and noah will probably be closer than ever and well-acquainted with each other's bodies and selves. its very intimate, but when youre acting with someone you really understand and connect with, your job feels magic - it's amazing. its art.

great question anon! and sorry to burst anyones bubble who just wanted to imagine finn and noah getting it on in someone's trailer and it somehow ending up on noah's tik tok lmao

'guess he's more like mike than i thought'

very interesting points!

[silenzahra]

I know this is late but since we just became moots, I want to do this.

Orange, green, blue, and pink are the colors that come to mind, especially green after you lost your original blog and everything you've gone through in your personal life. It was heartbreaking to see both of those things happen to you, considering you are one of the kindest people here.

For the former, it was because there was a lot of great content on there I enjoyed reading, and it was a shame to see all of that disappear over something out of your control. Fortunately, many friendly mutuals put in an admirable effort to recover some of your best work, which shows anything is possible if we put our minds to it.

Unfortunately, I can't speak much on the latter because I don't know what went on there. All I can do is hope things are better for you now and will continue to be so.

As for your Green, Orange, and a Bit of Purple repost, I haven't gotten around to it yet. However, I do plan on getting to it at some point because it's my favorite story of yours.

Wow, this was longer than I thought it would be. 😂 All that to say I think you are a positive influence with great insight, and I look forward to seeing more from you when you're ready. 😊

Hello, @teegeeteegee! First of all, I'm incredibly sorry that I didn't get to this ask earlier 🙏 I went to a concert last Friday and took Saturday to rest and recover, and on Sunday and Monday I've been catching up with some stuff here and there IRL, so I really didn't have much time to spend on Tumblr (something I hope I can fix from now on).

But truly, your ask has filled me with so much joy and warmth! 🥹 I'm HONORED that green and pink come to your mind even though we haven't interacted much yet, and I'd LOVE to go on a picnic with you so we can fix that! As for the blue part, I understand as I also have a hard time reaching out and most times I simply don't know how to approach people 😅 But I'd say this is a great way to break the ice! I'd really LOVE to get to know you better! 🥰

Oh 🥹 You truly are SO kind. Thank you so much 🫂 I can't even express how lucky and blessed I am that I'm part of this wonderful community. The fact that so many people went and saved some of my old content so as to help me build up this new blog, I just. I have no words 🥹 And it makes me so happy to know you enjoyed my content! Hopefully I'll soon be able to resume the task of bringing it all back 💖

As for the personal stuff, you know, I'm doing fine right now thanks to the concert, my dogs and this amazing community, and I'm trying my best to keep myself protected and safe. I simply realized something that is not easy whatsoever to take in... but I'm in the process of doing it so I can be 100% fine and at peace with myself again. Luckily I'm doing much better lately, and I really can't complain. Thank you so much for your support and your kind wishes 🫂💖

And please don't worry about the repost of Green, Orange and a bit of Purple! It's not going anywhere 🥰 I'm just SO happy to know it's your favorite story of mine! I truly LOVED writing it, Luigi and Daisy are my sweet little babies and I adore them so much 🥹

Also, I haven't forgotten about your story that you recommended a while back! I'm afraid I haven't read it yet because of this reader's (and writer's) block I'm still in the process of overcoming, but it's saved on my AO3 TBR list, and I really hope I can get to it soon 🥰

Hehe, my answer was also very long 🤭 I truly and deeply LOVED your ask! You're seriously so sweet 🥹 Thank you so so much, I just, I'm so touched right now! 🫂🫂🫂

I really hope I can get back at writing sooner than later, and it'll be a pleasure to read you too when I'm ready! 💖💖💖

(In reference to this ask game ✨)

[your-divine-ribs]

The Devil Next Door Part 13

Words: 2.3k

This is as far as I have written for this story but hopefully I’ll get it updated soon ❤️‍🔥

The Devil Next Door Masterlist Main Masterlist

❤️‍🔥 Van's POV ❤️‍🔥

"You're not seriously thinking of joining a gym are ya?"

Bondy's voice makes me jump and I resist slamming the laptop shut, not wanting him to think I'm trying to hide what I'm doing.

"Christ sake, wish you'd quit sneaking up on me like that!" I complain, hoping to divert from what he's just seen over my shoulder as I sit at the kitchen table hunched over my MacBook.

No such luck though, he's grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he crosses to the fridge and takes out two bottles of San Miguel, prising off the tops and passing one to me.

"That's the gym Y/N goes too ya know," he smirks at me, taking a pull on his lager. "But I'm guessing you already knew that, huh?"

"I didn't actually," I lie, shrugging for effect. "I've been meaning to join up to one for ages and this one looks good... and it's local. It's just around the corner."

I'd spotted the gym's slogan on Y/N's duffle bag when I saw her arrive home a few days ago. It wasn't like I was spying on her or anything, it's just that I notice things when I'm skulking around out front having a ciggie break... and I've been having lots of those recently. Whenever I'm writing and I'm stuck on a lyric or a riff and I need a bit of inspiration I'm straight outside lighting up. I don't know why it helps but it seems to clear my head. I can't understand song-writers who'll take a long hiatus complaining about writer's block, it's just a fag break for me.

"You... join a gym? You only move off the sofa to put the kettle on most days. Reckon you'd cough up a lung if you got on a treadmill for more than five minutes."

The expression on Bondy's face says it all and it's quite obvious he can see my real intentions but I make an attempt to string him along, feeling a little embarrassed about the lengths I'm prepared to go to to impress a girl who's made her disdain for me abundantly clear.

"Fuck off, I'm not that unfit! Every time I'm on stage it's like a bloody workout. Couldn't do all that if I was a slob... and I used to be dead good at footy. Was the star striker at school back in the day ya know."

I take a swig on my beer and Bondy watches me, amused. "Yeah exactly... at school. How many years ago was that now? Sure that was before you discovered booze and fags."

"It's never too late to take on new hobbies," I say, ignoring his teasing as I scroll down the web page, perusing the classes.

"Let's see how long this one lasts!" He sniggers as he comes to stand behind me, watching on as I quickly scroll past yoga and Pilates.

"No one's catching me bending my body into ridiculous shapes dressed in Lycra!" I laugh.

I have no idea what HIIT is and I disregard weight-training too. I'm just hovering over the spin classes when the words 'Learn to box' catch my eye. That's more like it. I'm not hench or anything but I'm fast on my feet and I'm actually much stronger than I look. I try to imagine Y/N being impressed when she sees me driving my fists into a punch bag but my daydreams are interrupted by Bondy's mocking laughter.

"There's no way ya doing boxing mate, yer built like a rake! That's taking feather-weight way too literally!"

"It's just for fitness," I scowl, automatically shifting in my seat to correct my slouched posture. "It'll be training and a bit of light sparring and stuff. They're not exactly gonna stick me in a ring with Tyson Fury are they?"

Bondy rips the shit out of me for a few more minutes whilst I return fire, then he announces that he's going to get ready for the party, leaving me sitting there alone with my thoughts.

He's probably right to laugh, I'm not a fighter... and I'm definitely not a fitness fanatic. I might have a quick temper and boundless energy but I've not got an aggressive bone in my body and I'm certainly not cut out for boxing. This whole health-kick fad is admittedly a ridiculous idea but when I get a plan in my head I'm determined to see it through. If there's even a minuscule chance that it might get Y/N to see me in a different light rather than the lazy, lay-around no-hoper musician she currently sees me as then I'll take it. And if I just so happen to bump into her at the gym whilst she's working up a sweat then that's a bonus.

Tom was round again yesterday. He'd called in presumably after work to assist Y/N with fixing the trellis back on to the front wall of her house. I had to grit my teeth seeing him out there flexing his muscles like Superman come to help out his Lois Lane. Whilst I was relieved she'd got it sorted to save me from the unpleasant twinge of humiliation every time I left the house to see it lying there on the floor taunting me, I couldn't help but feel wounded that she hadn't asked me to fix it for her. After all it was my mess and I'd have been quite happy to clear it up. It was obviously yet another clear message telling me that she wasn't ready to forgive me and still wanted nothing more to do with me, but despite all of that I still can't seem get her out of my fucking head.

Much as I hate to admit it to myself I've got it bad. I've not felt this desperate kind of yearning for a girl in a long time. I definitely had my moments in my teenage years when I'd just got into music making and my hormones were running rampant. There was Chloe who Bob used to drum for who I was crazy about but at nine years my senior just wasn't interested in me. Then Kathleen came along who was as equally enchanting as she was toxic. She only had to click her fingers and I'd come running like a pathetic little love-sick puppy. I probably had a lucky escape on both accounts but they certainly inspired some quality lyrics.

"Heyup look who it is, it's Muhammad Ali!"

Benji's jeering voice sounds out from the open doorway, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look up to see him bounding into the kitchen with his fists raised in a fighting stance, huge shit-eating grin plastered all over his face.

"C'mon then," he teases, bouncing on his feet, ducking his body from side to side. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee! What's all this I hear about you taking up boxing then? You'll get the shit kicked outta yer for sure!"

"Just thought I'd try something different instead of laying around the house with you losers," I smirk back at him, rising up as he jabs a fist into my side, catching hold of his wrist and yanking him forwards quickly and hard enough that he stumbles forward. I take advantage of the fact that he's temporarily unstable, tugging him into my side and wrestling him into a head-lock.

"What the fuck! Gerr-off Van! I've just done ma hair!" He yelps as I scrub my knuckles roughly over his curls.

I just laugh as he wriggles ineffectually, finally pushing him away whilst he fusses over his curly mop. "Reckon it's an improvement Blakes!"

I think he's going to retaliate but Bondy appears back in the kitchen and we soon get distracted with talk of the party as he hands out more beers which we gratefully accept. Any thoughts of kick-starting the new healthy version of me are pushed aside at once as I swig on my drink and light up a ciggie.

"So... who's coming tonight then Bond?"

Bondy ticks off a list of names on his fingers, mainly crew and their friends, a couple of promoters we've been involved with locally since the move and several bands who've supported us at recent gigs. That's not what I really want to know though. The list is distinctly male-orientated. I probe him further.

"Any more girls?"

He grins. "Why dontcha just ask me mate? Y/N's coming. I didn't have to work my charm on her to persuade her either. I asked Tom and he confirmed that he's bringing her."

My heart sinks and I can't keep the disappointment from my voice. "What the fuck? What did ya have to go and invite him for?"

"We've been messaging since we met at the gig the other night, he's a sound lad. Thought it'd be good to get to know some people from the area aside from the band connections. He's a big fan too."

"Competition eh?" Benji sniggers and Bob who's been quiet so far pipes up, ever the optimist.

"Well, at least she's coming. Heard about your little accident the other night. Sounds like you've got some making up to do so this party's the perfect opportunity. Sure she'll be good with you in no time if don't pull any stunts like that again and actually make an effort."

Benji dissolves into laughter at the mention of the incident which is branded in my mind like a scar on my ego. "What the fuck were you thinking Van? Smooth... real smooth!"

Despite my wounded pride I can see the funny side now and there's plenty of good-natured piss-taking and banter exchanged until I realise there's only half an hour until the first guests are due to arrive. I stub out my cigarette and drain my beer before I'm heading upstairs for the shower.

❤️‍🔥 Y/N’s POV ❤️‍🔥

"Honest opinion. You don't think it looks too slutty do you?" You're FaceTiming your friend Lilly, the back camera aimed at your full length mirror whilst you twist and turn your body so she can take in all your angles.

"It's literally just a little black dress, it looks great on you. It's not too short and it’s not like your tits are hanging out or anything. You should wear it."

You screw up your face as you switch to the front camera, flopping down on to the bed.

"It's just not really me is it? Maybe I'll just wear my jeans and a t-shirt..."

"Y/N!" Your friend scolds you. "Make an effort for once... it's a party! You're just used to wearing those shapeless scrubs all day, that's all. You can't just turn up in jeans for a date."

"It's not a date!" You're quick to reply. "Me and Tom are just friends. I mean, I like him and all... I really like him, but I don't want anything serious... not right now. I don't wanna rush into anything."

"Does he know that?"

You shrug, groaning. "God knows.... he's so nice Lilly... like I'm beginning to wonder whether he's too nice. What if we end up getting it on and then it gets messy and he doesn't wanna be mates anymore? He's like my best mate at work, I'd be lost in that shithole without him. Ughhh why do things have to be so complicated? Why can't I just meet a hot guy who I can have a little fun with, no strings attached?"

She giggles mischievously. "Oh, you mean like Van?"

"Fuck off!" You cry, hoping the blush you've applied will hide the sudden flush in your cheeks. "I told you what a dickhead he was didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I've seen a picture of him now." You see her eyes sparkle through the screen and you don't like the way your gut twists at her obvious appreciation. "There was a review online for that gig you went to the other night. The write up was brilliant by the way, they reckon the band are tipped for great things."

"They are pretty good..." you mumble, waiting to hear more.

"You didn't tell me how fit he was!" She gushes, a huge grin on her face. "Honestly, dickhead or not I'd be well in there! There's just something about scruffy haired indie guys with guitars... I don't know what it is, I can't help myself."

You tell her to shut up, laughing along, promising her that you'll definitely bring her along to the next gig and hating the way that the thought makes you feel deeply uncomfortable. She's your best friend for god's sake and you've made it quite clear that you don't want Van. You can't exactly gatekeep him can you? An image floats into your head of Lilly sitting in Van's lap backstage with her hands in his hair and her lips glued to his and you automatically bristle with fiery jealousy. Maybe you could set her up with Johnny instead...

"Wish I was coming tonight," she sighs, interrupting your thoughts. "Was supposed to be going out with my sister but she's let me down... again. Looks like it's a takeaway for one and Love Island for me."

"At least you'll feel fresh tomorrow!" You stand up and approach the mirror again, tugging on the hem of your skirt which has ridden up around your thighs, wondering if you're too dressed up for a house party.

"I'd better let you go," Lilly says, aware that you've not got long before you need to go. "Remember I'm living vicariously through you tonight so you'd better keep me updated! I wanna hear all about how cute Tom is... and what crazy shit Van and that band of his get up to..."

You're just about to say goodbye when she quickly adds "you can put in a good word for me too if you like..."

"Yeah... yeah... I will," you mutter reluctantly, then "if I even speak to him."

You end the call just as the loud chime of your doorbell rings out. There's just enough time to slick on a touch of glossy cherry red lippy and tousle your hair and then you're rushing down the stairs to answer the door.