#hopefully it'll come back to me...
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WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED I HAD LIKE A REALLY CUTE IDEA FOR SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT ASTARION LAST NIGHT BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT ACTUALLY WAS
#aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!#hopefully it'll come back to me...#i remember it was something cute but i cannot remember any details akxmalxnskxms
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a binary boyfriends au where the house fight on December 19th never happened, demetri and eli never make up in high school, and the universe keeps pushing them back together (Boston college au)
aka I wanna gage if anyone would read this fic..... (it's already almost entirely written)
Demetri is having a shitty morning, so he can’t catch a break.
Maybe he was moving too fast. Maybe he was in a rush to get back to his apartment and finally attempt the other nine pages of the ten-page essay he should’ve already finished. Maybe the whole thing could be blamed on his long limbs or his natural clumsiness, but Demetri is fully convinced that this guy ran into him. Not the other way around.
And there goes his second coffee of the day–all over his sneakers, the cafe floor, and the guy who shoulder-checked him at full force.
“Shit!”
“C’mon, man!” the guy barks at the same time.
The guy has the hood of his green sweatshirt pulled up over his head, likely doing very little against the weather outside. He’s got wired earbuds in–like all pretentious douchebags do–and Demetri bitterly thinks he must have his music too loud to be aware of his surroundings, hence the collision. His worn utility jacket may have saved the hoodie from the spill but it looks completely ruined now.
Arguably, Demetri is much better off, notably not covered in hot coffee. But, this is his second spilled coffee in a single morning, and the universe is out to get him, so this guy isn't going to hear the end of it.
“You ran into me!” Demetri protests, fuming.
The guy flicks both his arms a few times, trying to wring out any dripping coffee from his coat sleeves.
Demetri’s never been good at biting his tongue and right now he’s too pissed to hold back. “Maybe if you were actually paying attention to the world around you, and not just plowing in here without a care for other customers or your surroundings, you wouldn’t have ran me over! You know, that’s my second spilled coffee today. I have half a mind to demand you get me a new one-”
The guy finally looks up seemingly to find who is responsible for dumping a medium-sized hot latte all over him. His face is half covered by his hoodie and Demetri can only see an intense side-eye of annoyance as a response to his lecture on the important or personal space. Then, he straightens quickly and narrows his eyes, leaning slightly in to the limited space occupied by a puddle of cooling steamed milk and espresso between them.
“And truly it’s blatantly a matter of safety–”
They lock eye contact and the guy’s eyes widen comically and his eyebrows shoot up so high they disappear above the overhang of his hood.
His voice cracks a little as he interrupts Demetri’s rambling.
“Dem?”
Demetri’s words die halfway through his sentence. Does he know this guy?
The stranger shakes his head roughly and clears his throat. “Sorry, it's just- I…” He looks Demetri up and down and narrows his eyes again. “Is your name Demetri?”
And that's… odd. Demetri inspects the guy’s face as best he can under the sweatshirt hood. He seems sort of familiar, but Demetri can't place it.
Demetri shifts from one foot to the other, suddenly unsure of how to hold his weight under this guy’s intense gaze. “Um. Yes?”
“Oh my- holy shit!” The guy lets out a laugh of disbelief and pulls out his earbuds, letting them hang out of the top of his hoodie. “This is crazy.”
He roughly shoves his hood off of his head, and Demetri’s heart drops into the bottom of his stomach.
He rakes his hand through a thick mop of shaggy light brown hair. Hiding under the hood was a pair of startling blue eyes that Demetri really should’ve recognized. As the not-so-stranger pats the hoodie down behind his neck, Demetri has a clear picture of his entire face. And just before Demetri can come up with a plausible theory on doplegängers, his eyes land on the faint scar rippling from the guy’s upper lip to his nose.
There's just no goddamn way.
So, since Demetri really can’t catch a break this morning, his childhood best friend, Eli Moskowitz, is standing in front of him, covered in his second latte of the morning.
And Demetri wants to say fuck off or what are you doing here or get out of my city or honestly just walk away, but he’s rendered completely frozen. Demetri feels a little like a cartoon character when their jaw completely unhinges and hits the floor with a comical clang. He’s left buffering like a YouTube video being played with a shitty wifi connection.
He hasn’t seen Eli since high school. Hasn’t talked to him in even longer. It’s probably been four years since they last spoke. Not that Demetri is counting. What the hell is he doing in Boston? What the hell is he doing this close to MIT? Just… what the hell?
Eli’s excited expression falters when Demetri doesn’t respond. He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.
“It’s uh- It’s Eli. Moskowitz?”
Demetri notes first that he introduces himself as Eli, not that ridiculous nickname he coined in school.
He says it as if Demetri doesn’t know. He says it as if Demetri wouldn’t recognize him faster than the back of his own hand even all these years later. His hair is long, too long. It’s curling over his ears and nearly touching his shoulders, and Demetri is pissed because it still looks good. He looks older, he looks better, and all Demetri can see is the tiny Eli he met in first grade who was missing both his front teeth.
Demetri doesn’t know what to make of any of it. This feels like some cosmic joke.
“Uh, no, yeah. Yeah. What- What are you doing here?” Demetri finally manages. His voice sounds a little strangled, but the question comes out bluntly and a bit harsh.
“Uh,” Eli starts, glancing around, and letting out a confused laugh. He raises an eyebrow and shoves his hands in his pockets, gesturing with his coat around the cafe. “Getting coffee? What are you doing here?” he teases.
Demetri really doesn’t have time for this. He rolls his eyes. “Not here. What are you doing in Boston?” he demands.
Eli’s playful expression falls. He furrows his eyebrows. “I live here.”
And that’s- that can’t be right. Demetri lives here. Demetri just started his second semester of his junior year at MIT a month ago. He certainly would’ve noticed if Eli Moskowitz lived in Boston. Right?
“You live… in Boston?”
“Yeah,” Eli shrugs, looking much too nonchalant for Demetri’s liking. “I go to BU.” He cocks his head slightly to the side and earnestly says, “I thought you knew that.”
Demetri did not know that. That’s the thing about no contact. Demetri’s had Eli blocked in all forms of communication since their junior of high school. It’s sort of hard to keep tabs on someone when they’re pretty strictly out-of-sight, out-of-mind.
#guys honest feedback pls!!!#this is a longer fic it'll be like over 10k words but less than 20k if i can help it#anywho i had this idea over the summer and am finally hopefully finishing it#it's completely self indulgent#but oh well#back on my writing bullshit everyone#finally writing in demetri's pov and boy is it a switch up#loosely based on the song i knew it i know you by gracie abrams#also i know MIT is in cambridge not boston no one come for me i specify in the fic#hawkmetri#binary boyfriends#elimetri#eli x demetri#demetri x eli#hawk x demetri#demetri alexopoulos#eli moskowitz#cobra kai#ck#cobra kai fanfiction#cobra kai fanfic#cobra kai fic#hawkmetri fanfic#binary boyfriends fanfic#my writing
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been reading and rereading a lot of legion lately
#lyle norg#invisible kid#reep daggle#chameleon boy#legion of super heroes#losh#dc#inspi art#going through the reboot legion runs again reminded me why I love lyle so much#come back to me babe#rejoin your best friend in a hopefully good legion book soon pls#I must maintain hope that it'll happen one day
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Was goin on a weird lil rant on Toyhouse about how I wasn't super satisfied with my older character designs which quickly spiraled into me realising I just wasn't happy with my art in general and probably need to take a break before I explode 😅
Welp, I will be cutting down that 'rant' then putting it up here as a way to officially say that I'll be taking a short hiatus cuz I need some time for myself whether I like it or not (I don't want to go on a hiatus at all but look if I don't I will explode and my passion for art will only dwindle further qwq)
#Grim rambles#I mean I'll still check in despite my hiatus but when I say hiatus I mean I'll barely post/draw if at all#well I WILL draw but won't post much if any of it#once I get to posting that lil announcement hopefully it'll make more sense#idk how long I'll be gone for but me being me it prolly won't take too long to come back#so it won't be anywhere near a year long pff#I need a few months maybe#depends#it's a very much 'wait and see' situation
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Gil Chae 🤝🏼 Ryang Eum fed up to the high heavens with Jang Hyun never saying exactly what he f*cking means with them
#tv: my dearest#my dearest#mbc my dearest#namgoong min#nam goong min#ahn eun jin#kim yoon woo#kdrama#local gay watches My Dearest (and is subsequently f*cked up).txt#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#this post brought to you by me seeing the possible end of the RyangHyun fic on the horizon writing a line in it#that's basically just him saying 'oh i can't leave without my lark how else will i get [redacted object] back' and thinking wait.#he does this sh*t with Gil Chae too doesn't he. the whole 'i knew i was good at kissing but not that good' debacle when#she comes to talk to him after the field kiss#i'm so sorry the two of you are in love with this idiot i want to say it'll get better but idk. hopefully
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Here's the no-bake cookie recipe that has been sustaining me this past week (almond butter should work fine if you cant have peanuts) (hopefully the conversions are correct, I did my best to get accurate numbers but I am American)
2 cups/400 grams of sugar
1/4 cup/21 grams of cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon (the little one)/1.4 grams salt (i just eyeball it tbh)
1/2 cup/125 mL of milk
1/2 cup/113 grams of margarine (a full stick)
1/2 cup/90 grams of peanut butter
3 cups/255 grams of quick/instant oats
Put first five ingredients in a pot and turn on the heat to about medium/medium-high, bring to a full rolling boil. Boil for 2 minutes, then turn off the heat. Stir in peanut butter until melted. Add oats and mix well. Drop spoonfuls onto wax paper/parchment paper/whatever you put on your cookie trays to peel stuff off easily. Place trays on the counter to let the cookies set or in fridge to make them set faster.
#cookies#positivity#recipes#no-bake cookies#baking#the bolded words are for accessibility#so hopefully it'll be easier to tell apart each step and not get them mixed up like my brain loves to do#anyway. hope these can bring a little joy to a person or two#its a fairly fast recipe#and low spoon cost for me at least#getting the cookies made takes me about 20-30 minutes#then you just get to wander away for an hour or so and when you come back there is cookies :D
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mvp yaai 🥺
@adanima tagging you here!
right! so.
the premise of the fic is mvp goes to visit yaai, which is not a very unique concept in itself. but i've got this very particular idea of yaai in my head, and i've come to terms with the fact that no one is going to magically write her for me so i gotta do it myself 😅
in my head, yaai is not very learned. she's village folk, and she doesn't speak very much, but she's very sweet and she's got this simplicity about her that often cuts through the murkiness of a messy situation. there's a lot of lingering grief about how she let her only daughter / pete's mother suffer at the hands of pete's father, but she's surprisingly frank when it comes to talking about that, and she lives by the idea that there's no point in wishing the worst parts of your life undone, because that would be undoing the best parts, too, and you cannot have one without the other. (she loves pete very very much.)
pete keeps secrets from her, and she knows this, and she knows she's better off not knowing. most of the time her worry for pete is in the background -- something she's learned to live alongside. but pete's disappearance scared her terribly.
anyway! that one canon phone call with her is rotating in my brain 24/7, and i just wanna write lots of words about her. and also about vegas and macau having to live with house lizards lmao. i don't have very much written, but here's a tiny bit from before they get there:
"Don't take this the wrong way," Pete says, which isn't a very promising start. "I didn't think you'd want to come? Or, well. That you'd — have a good time."
"Why not," Vegas says, eyes narrowed.
"It's just very, uh," and Pete scrunches his entire face, "rural?"
"Okay," Vegas says. "And you don't think we can handle that?"
"I didn't say that," Pete says immediately. "But have you ever been anywhere like that? Or stayed overnight?"
Vegas can feel a smile spreading across his face. "You think we're spoiled, don't you?"
#this wip has been on hold for a very long time and i'm worried i sat on it for too long#but hopefully after hades is done this will come back to me#it'll probably go through a full rewrite. my perception of how to write vegas has changed a lot since i wrote this#also i need to do a fuckload of research#mine: asks
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Would you consider yourself to be a feminist
yup. love women <3
but yeah anon i like to think so!! i will say that the closest i've come to reading any feminist literature in the last couple of years has been articles about the presentation of women in various spanish/italian authors' work bc i'm bad at reading unless i'm being like. forced to. for my degree (not that i'm not super passionate about my degree. i think the articles are all so so interesting lol) but!! i try to support women's rights as much as i can (like signing petitions and having discussions about various facets of the patriarchy etc etc), and be aware of the way i interact w our patriarchal society, and think critically about why i do things and why i think things, and i am always happy to have my opinions challenged and learn new things
#if u want someone who's more educated and articulate about feminism please refer to jen @/quillkiller who actually just posted about how#makeup is inherently anti-feminist and the importance of acknowledging that like. doing anti-feminist things isn't the end of the world as#long as you actually Acknowledge that whatever you're doing stems from patriarchal and misogynistic structures rather than thinking that#just bc we (women) have made the choice to do something it doesn't still uphold the patriarchy..... jen is always right about everything#so go and read that!!! if you want!!!#my feminism is just me like. trying my best. which i think is just as valid!! and also i would love any feminist lit recs although i probs#won't get round to actually reading them for a good couple of years.... i'm the slowest reader alive which is SO annoying actually bc i use#to loooove reading and read all the time but now it takes me so long to read even one page... hopefully it'll come back to me one day....#anyway.#go women!
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...Well as a result of freaking out over what to do about my potentially unhealthy parasocial attachment, my brain has stopped feeling super duper strongly about Dallon for now X'D
#dru speaks#hopefully the concert will change that. or that it'll come back before the concert#but yeah. things are relatively mild up in my brain#i don't really like it tbh. i wish it would go back to normal#but yeah that's what i'm dealing with here#kind of a win for the people who are concerned about me honestly? /hj
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feeling very unwell lately but i managed to unscrew the ball on my nipple piercings finally in case anyone wanted to know
#stopped taking my meds for a week and found out why i take meds again#anyways i havent drawn in weeks because i got a new desk and i dont adapt well to change and the vibes just havent felt right#but hopefully it'll come back to me soon
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poll logistics question
with three polls queued per day (the current rate, posting at UTC 13:30, 17:00, and 20:30), there are currently posts queued through the end of January. that’s a pretty long lead time for new submissions, and there are a lot of fantasy books out there!
with that in mind:
if I do increase the number of polls, I’ll likely space them out evenly over 24 hours — some polls will post at bad times for certain time zones (including my own), but that’s unfortunately unavoidable. even if I assume (falsely, based on some of the submissions I’ve been getting :-D) that only people living in English-speaking countries follow this blog, times that work well for California or even Toronto are unlikely to line up with peak blogging hours for Ireland and the UK, and that’s without touching South Africa, India, Australia, or Aotearoa.
#I swear I had a follow-up question but as I was writing this it completely vanished from my mind#oh well! if it was important hopefully it'll come back to me later#faq
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its gonna be. awhile before i can play ffxiv again urgh (<- stilldoesn't have a bank account or anything required for applying for a job)
#all i have is a venmo. which is actually my mothers who gave me her card and i get money sent occasionally#not a lot but enough for me to afford some food n stuff#and when i come back down we're going to get me through the process of getting my social security card replaced#cause she laminated it when i was a baby and when we went to the dmv to get my id they couldn't accept it. and we couldn't get a replacemen#then because we had no other way of identifying me besides my birth certificate (which they wouldn't accept at the sso) and my insurance#card. was with my stepdad at the time. who was all the way in washington. and when he got back the places were closed due to weather and a#also we didn't have the time. so. yay#hopefully this fall break we'll be able to get something figured out and if not it'll be during winter break maybe...
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got a brand new weighted blanket today so i'm taking it for a test drive rn to soothe my anxiety as i finally crack my laptop open for the first time since sunday
#for some reason i've been. afraid. to try writing anything while i'm in this... weird state.#i've been afraid to do a lot of my usual things??#hard to explain. i think i'm afraid i suddenly won't enjoy it or smth. and i haven't wanted to ruin the few good things i have lmao#god but this whole week has been fucking weird as hell dude idk how to explain any of how i've been feeling#other than like. you know how when ur sick and things don't feel normal? but it's okay bc u know it'll only be a few days#before ur feeing better & things are back to where they usually are?#it's been like that except there's been no reassurance of 'i'll feel better & back to normal in a few days'#just this dread of things perpetually feeling Off and Not Right with no end date in sight#......fortunately things have slowly been getting less terrible. it kinda comes & goes in waves now#ANYWAY sorry to keep ooc posting... typing it out really does just help me process & get some of it off my chest lmao#gonna. try to eat some lunch quick & then hopefully see about poking those text prompts ♡#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.#personal cw
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Honestly the craziest thing about running this blog is how many people that I've looked up to for YEARS who've interacted with or even followed me. Also the fact that people actually notice when I'm gone. Like, it is insane to think that I actually have presence in this community and I am so so grateful.
#thank you thank you to anyone who's ever liked and reblogged my art and sent me asks and anything#i don't post often mostly because I'm still very self-conscious and hypercritical of my art but I'm working on it#and I appreciate that people come back even when it's been forever#I think I'm gonna really try to do tickletober because it'll hopefully force me to loosen up#it really just depends on how I'm doing school-wise#cause yknow. college#I'm gonna try tho#I have ideas#I should draw some right now so I have some prepared actually#I'll get on that#okay bye bye#clown's stuff
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me seeing all of the MD discourse once again cursing out Gil Chae and calling her weak/a bitch for still turning down Jang Hyun's proposal before he left with the Crown Prince:
#tv: my dearest#my dearest#mbc my dearest#namgoong min#nam goong min#ahn eun jin#kdrama#local gay watches My Dearest (and is subsequently f*cked up).txt#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#i still haven't caught up but rn ik it's not as bad as everyone thinks it is. y'all asked for angst you got it why are you freaking tf out#pls. all i needed to know was that Ryang Eum was alive (he is). we can deal with the consequences of his actions later but guess what#people. do. dumb and stupid sh*t. pay for that sh*t. realize it wasn't a good idea. he probably realized that when sh*t went down#but ffs where are y'all's reading comprehension where did it go#she did what she had to do to survive. if it was ep 2!Gil Chae before the war (and minus Yeon Joon) if she had her eye on Jang Hyun#she would have thrown herself at him. f*ck the officer and f*ck everyone else that's her man!!!!!#we're in ep 10. she has been through hell and back. her priority rn is not romance her priority is providing for everyone else#tl;dr i will defend Gil Chae with my life. Ryang Eum is my son so i will also defend him but he needs some sense knocked into him#and hopefully a way to sort things out with Jang Hyun bc that. that will be the breakup that ruins me officially not our OTP#i came in expecting that as a possibility sksksksk#anyway RyangHyun fic coming soon-ish. at least it'll tide me over until October rip
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Is ao3 down? I thought it was my Wi-Fi or even my phone acting up but everything else is working
#Took me a while and a mini anxiety attack to realize it was probably down#Hopefully it'll come back soon#I have a bunch of fics to read and even more to finish written but#But my brain refuses to#Ao3
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