#hopefully it doesnt take that long and they can actually fix it

[amu-brain-dump]

I think I've broken my child (my sewing machine)😭😭

[the-s1lly-corner]

JONATHAN AND GN!READER AND THEIR ANTICS !!!!!!!

Antics w/ Jonathan and Reader!

I did a similar post yesterday!! (Linked at the end, hopefully, I'm mobile and sometimes tumblr can be weird)

I'm so so sorry it took my so long to get this request <\\3 I was trying to come up with new ideas so it could be different than the other ask <\3, which I highly recommend checking out! Imma be real I'm not totally confident in how this one turned out so that second post can be like an extra/make up <\3

I wasnt sure if you wanted this to be platonic or have them dating so!! It's mostly written as vague in that department!!

Jonathan doesn't strike me as the person who goes out and does things a lot

Just. Wake up, work, home, sleep, repeat.. he'll sometimes send texts to friends and family to schedule a lunch here and there but

That's about it, hes not very social

So a lot of these antics are really going to be made through you making the plans; with the shenanigans really being unplanned byproducts

Honestly I can totally see Jonathan starting shit with someone, be it accident or on purpose, prompting both of yall having to hightail it out of the area

Reminds me of that part from one of the diary of a wimpy kid movies, where greg n rodrick do that fake puke prank on the guy and have to make a run for it

Actually I can totally see yall subtly being menaces and fucking with people

Maybe not a fake puke prank persay but

Yk?

No crime stuff; I only really see that becoming a thing after he becomes Spot! Both from how he worded his whole "turning to a life of crime" thing and the fact he just

Lacks the experience and confidence

Moving on

Maybe it's just my "let's get silly with the writing" part of me, or it's my need for chaos (arguably the same thing), but

I feel like

Somehow, you guys would accidentally probably maybe kinda sorta

Wreak havoc in ways spot could only dream of (before doing the whole. Bouncing across the multiverse thing)

Yall could probably start the day wanting to go to some food truck and

End it by spending a night in jail

Neither of you are allowed anywhere near food trucks after that /j

No but serious note, Jonathan is basically a hermit, he doesnt like leaving his apartment unless he has to; people are just, so

Eeuuughchk!

So when you two hang out it's either his place or yours

But that's not to say it isnt fun!

Hes got normal stuff people have in their homes, like board games and consoles

And also science doohickies

Yeah people have that in their houses, that's a normal thing

Ngl if you give him any ideas for machines or whatnot hes totally going to give it a try

See previous post with a trans s/o, he would make the transgenderinator if you asked him to

Well now hes just turning into doof

Ykw

I feel like he'd take you to alchemax to show off stuff but like

If you asked nicely

How can he say no to that face?

And also he has no backbone

That's not to say you would pressure him, though! Because that's not cool, dont pressure people. But like, he would cave in the way of "I know it's not that serious and I know they'll probably understand if I say no, but I don't want to ever risk disappointing them ever in my life, so I'm gonna say yes!" Kind of way

He just like me frfr

And this is assuming you even know about alchemax

Which personally, unless you're in some way associated with it, I'm p sure be would have a strong boundary to keep you out of it

This is really just turning into a general ramble <\3

Anyways

I dont have many ideas since I struggle with general hcs like this but!! Yeah!! Definitely recommend the linked post for a better more cohesive (?) List of ideas and hcs!! This post kinda

Made me realize I dont have many hcs for Jonathan outside of making his personality a smart pathetic science man

Gotta fix that , give him some hobbies n stuff in the future

Link to a similar post!

[starbeltconstellation]

hiiiii i hope you have been having an amazing summer! i hope this isnt that bothersome to ask since you’re still writing it out but i would like to ask around what month do you think you would be able to get the chapter that you are writing to come out? i also saw that you were saying that you were at around 40k words for this chapter so i don’t want it to seem like i’m trying to rush or anything, just genially curious. also hope that the fix doesnt end up being dropped for what ver reason since i think it might just be the only fic for the SW fandom that actually has me going back and re-reading and still able to enjoy it(which is a bit of a rare thing these days since i’m always surrounded by smut having fics, which is not a bad thing, but it can get old quite quickly).

also i have to say that this is the first time where the slow burn has actually been a slow burn and not just a lazy thing written out and having been given much thought. i really like how you have so far made each encounter between the oc and anakin not a copy and paste of their first encounter (with the oc being afraid of her life and anakin being just confused but both of them trying to figure out and work out their problems as each chapter comes out). this is all i have to say for now ig so again i hope you have an amazing day!!! 💕

Helloooo! 😊💕

Thank you so very much for the lovely ask and well wishes, dear reader duckling! 😁❤️✨ It truly made my day to see a new ask in my inbox . Hehe. ❤️❤️✨

And I’m soooo sorry for the late response! 😭❤️💔 It just takes me a while to get to asks sometimes with my life problems going on, especially because I want to dedicate the right amount of attention to giving my thoughts. But I just wanted you and all my other readers to know that I’m never ignoring you. 💕💕

It’s completely fine for you to check in and ask me about my chapter progress, dear! 💕✨ Makes me at least know someone’s still out there excited to see it. Haha.

I’ll put the rest of my answer under a read more:

Well, what I do for my Fic chapters is I try to split up the scenes from scenes from the actual EPISODES from The Clone Wars, and then write the other scenes from my own planned storyline in between everything else. What I had ORIGINALLY planned was to have each chapter be one episode of TCW, or another original storyline arc that I had chosen to add (ie; the Kudon III storyline). However, I very quickly realized that writing out a completely original storyline takes a lot fucking longer and more brain power than expected. 😭😖🫠 And not only that—the 🔥sensual Melakin scenes 🔥 take even TWICE as long as that. Lol. 😭 And so—QUITE sadly—I have had to admit to myself that it just isn’t feasible for my chapters to be that long, even though cutting TCW episodes in multiple chapters might break the flow of the story.

And so, after I FINALLY get out this whopper of a chapter (which I HOPE to have completed by the first weeks of August), I am NEVERRRR writing a chapter this long again. Lol. 😭🤦‍♀️

So rest easy with that, in the sense that hopefully a hiatus will never be this long again. I think the problem with writing chapters this long is that—for one—my SW hyperfixation is gone, which makes my writing way slower that it used to be (which I fucking HATE 😭🙃). For another, the problem is my depression steals my energy and motivation, and while the 25% of lovely reader comments I get out of the 70% silent ghost readers that I try to “pspspsps” into my comment feed, give me boosts of that good ol’ serotonin—at the same time: I think the problem is that, with the shorter chapters beforehand, I could write so much in one day, because in doing so, I would already get halfway done in only a few hours. But with such a long chapter, it makes me kind of dread writing for so long, to not even have the satisfaction of pressing “post” at the end of it all in reward. Lol. 😭💔🫠

And so, this chapter has gone at about a snails pace for that very reason. 😭😅

So, what I NOW am planning to do is to split each TCW episode and original storyline I come up with into probably a three arc format (ie; three chapters), which will make it much easier for me to write without getting exhausted. That way, the chapters should only be at the most 10 to 15,000 words (hopefully. Lol). 😅😂❤️

BUT! I will ease your mind by saying that no matter WHAT—I am NEVER abandoning this story. ✊😖❤️ It’s literally going to be my magnum opus. Now—I KNOW authors say that all the time and then become little lying liars who lie—BUT unlike them, I am writing this dream fix it fic specifically for ME. 😂❤️ So the only way I can have the story of my dreams is to FINISH this things someday. So I hope that eases your worries. Lol. 💕

And awwwww! 🥰🥰🥰💕💕💕 Thank you SO, so much for your kind words about my story and writing! It means the world to me that my fic seems to stand out on A03 and Wattpad to a lot of SW fans. Haha.

And thank you SO much for your compliments on how I’m writing Melakin’s developing slow burn/relationship and in their separate character arcs. It was really important to me that Anakin and Melanie weren’t just getting together to get TOGETHER. I like my stories to mean something, and if you’ve read my other meta posts, then you’ll know that Melakin’s romantic relationship has actually been PURPOSEFULLY paralleled with Anidala, to show the difference between how someone you love can actually make you grow to be BETTER, instead of a relationship where they both enable each other’s worst tendencies (even though the love may have been genuine).

But yeah, it was REALLY important to me that their slow burn was actually REALISTIC, because yes, I’ll admit some slow burns keep the two people apart for way longer than necessary just to have drama. But for Melakin, there’s just SO many reasons they can’t get together yet (ie; the Anidala secret marriage, Melanie’s lingering terror of Anakin, Anakin and Melanie still being barely even friends, and also Anakin’s future moral decay that Melanie remains at the same time disgusted by while trying to stop it from happening), so it makes the slow burn more genuine to me. Their relationship develops the more their CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT develops.

But anyway! You’ll be happy to know that I’ve COMPLETELY FINISHED all of my original scenes for my next chapter! 😊💕 So now—I only have to follow the transcript of TCW episode and write out the actual EPISODE STORYLINE—which will be WAY easier and shouldn’t take as long as before.

I’m not making any promises—but I’m AIMING for a new posted chapter in sometime in the next two weeks. So… just a heads up with that. ❤️❤️💕✨

Thanks so very much again for the ask, dear reader! 😊✨💕 It made my week. Haha.

Until next time! ✨❤️

-

To any new readers that stumble across this and are curious enough to check out my fic:

Tags:

@ensomniaa

@heartfairy

@fangirlteallie

@lemons-2-limes

@shoniwake

[flowercitti]

hello!! i loved ur miguel/peter fic! heres a few things that might help since h said u havent seen the movie :3 (spoilers inbound)

-his fangs are paralyzing if youre bitten by them, but a lot ppl hc that it doesnt affect other spiderppl that way or at least as much

-miguel has a brother in the comics named gabriel (my favorite o'hara) who calls him miggy (which might be a fun "peter u dont get to call me that" moment or smthn idk)

-this is more of my fix idea than info but lot of ppl hc miguel as an Actual vampire or having those tendencies which can be fun for mig/peter. theres tons of art of miguel drinking from peter that i think uve seen which definitely lends itself to be ..intimate.. its always fun to have a spicy scene that either starts with or includes drinking from someone.

-to jump off of that, miguel has to take an addictive drug called "rapture" bc he was dosed with it by his dad when he tried to leave the lab and now he needs it for the rest of his life. maybe blood is an alternative when he cant get that? maybe he and peter found out by trial and error? theres lot of hurt comfort in a "i bit you in a fit of blood rage" after that person comes out of it

sry for the long post i just had so many thoughts to share

Ahh ty ty 🫶🌸 I still haven’t seen the movie askddd but I’ve seen clips and read things abt him to help with writing him lmao.

- Personally, my headcanon is that he can control the venom he administers, like real species of snakes/spiders. So he can he put more/less/or no venom into a bite. (I’m unsure if this is disproven in the comics, but is my personal hc sksds) Along with this, my miguel is still like comic miguel where his fangs are not retractable, bc I like that abt him Sksds.

- Ahh I’ve heard of his brother! I believe he’s the venom in some runs and is the reason that Miguel’s wife dies? I could imagine a scene of Peter trying to come up with silly nicknames and Peter saying “Miggy?” And Miguel going “no…no, not that one.” (I’ve already thought abt this, head in my hands.)

- ahh I could totally be down to do a vampire au for Miguel those are good ideas ueueueue.

- I’ve heard different things abt rapture and that he’s only reliant on it in some runs more than others? but aghg I’d have to read more up on it on my own.

Anyway,, Ah ty ty thank u for the info and ideas! I’m really glad u enjoyed my fics. I’ll hopefully be posting more spiderdads sometime soon 🫶🌸 (along with some that include MJ ahh 💐🌸🫶)

[projecto2-game]

DevLog 2 - The Devining

well. it only took 3 months. but here is our new devlog! or however you call it... We did write a whole devlog for early march, but with school and work taking up most of our schedule, we did not post it, and most of our progress fell to the sands of time.

Snail (@snailmusic) -

Yeah I didn't do nearly as much as freep, so most of those changes will be down there. part of the reason though is that ive been doing a lot of work on my music (haha yes self promo) so if you want to check that out it'd be great! (most of yall are just from my acc so you probably alr know) (my current style of music is probably not representative of O2's audio style or vibe, still working towards that)

The main thing I did was improve trenchbroom (level editor)/qodot/godot interop, which can bring us closer to building some levels (and who knows, a little alpha test in the future ;)). It was actually realllyyyy annoying due to a lack of documentation for qodot 4 (and also ill admit it, a bit of my stupidity) so there was a bug that I couldn't fix for a long time but eventually it was fixed and now it works great!

I also started looking more into the art style of the game, and I'm even learning a bit of how to draw (thanks to my friends! I wouldn't be able to learn like at all without them lol).

^ guy on a cube

oh yeah speaking of outside help im getting this is (very slightly) now bigger than us two! the others aren't doing too much we can note right now (one doesnt have a tumblr acc either) but when their contributions come more into play we'll include them here.

See ya next time!

Freep (@freepdryer) -

Back in march, i spent a lot of time working on the AI, getting it to move… and run away, sort of. But more of that will come later. 

Lots of these last week or so has been on the character controller, and reinventing the wheel to introduce a state machine and get a lot cleaner code so its easier to revisit if we ever had to.

Im proud of the work that we've done so far, as we come close to a prototype with *Gameplay* 

New Things

Changed the look of the enemy slightly to remove the “amongus factor”

Rewrote the entire script for nav pathing

New enemy prototype can now feel pain / has a health pool that can be depleted using bullets from the player

Added a new line of sight for the enemy to check whether or not the player is in the area to follow

Added the ability for the enemy to hide - WIP - enemy can hide but isnt very good at it. Kinda like a child who turns away while hiding in the corner. 

Enemy can also detect when youre in a certain range, I will be adding more flags later on for detection (when the player shoots, sneezes, or explodes on accident)

New testing map!

New areas for target practice, line of sight testing, following and hiding

New player character controller!

Rewrote the entire script for the inclusion of State machines

This was painful.

Added 6(?) new states for several movement states

Added animations for 

Walking

Running

Jumping

Crouching

Fixed the stair problem

Whats next?

Continue work on enemy AI - finish hiding, add roaming, add attacking

Dunno? 

Fix the stair problem again, but more?

Weapons!

The end?

Thanks for coming to our devlog! We will be back hopefully very soon!

[artical3237]

Probably asked before but what's your favourite project Sekai Unit? And Character? If you don't have any just info dump about something you like about project Sekai

omg thx for the ask!! i havent gotten one is so long fndkdndk

anyways, my fav unit is leo/need and my fav character is lil sbibo. im also a big mmj fan w/ minori being my 2nd favorite thenhonami in 3rd, haruka in 4th, saki in 5th, kohane in-- miya girls 1-a is my favorite trio of all time cuz theyre all silly and so cute. errr ig i dont have any main ships other than minoharu bc i mainly love platonic friendships so im not a polyneed shipper unfortunately. theres also th fact that i hc shiho to be aroace cuz i have to project (hehe) onto my favorites all the damn time and ichika too actually- theres more basis to the ichika aroace headcanon cuz she talks to minori abt the fact that she has trouble singing love songs.

if i have to explain why i love l/n so much (i dont have to but i was given the right to infodump so :P) its because being together was and will always stay as their primary motivation. like, before they wanted to go pro or make their music move other's hearts, the reason they made the band was because they wanted to reunite and be friends with each other again. this is contrasted by the other units who have the same/similar goals and team up to achieve it (not to discredit their own relationships btw im just saying, also n25 is a different story with relatively unclear motivations esp at the start soo). anyways, despite being my least favorite in the group, i firmly believe that ichika absolutely deserves the right to be the leader mainly because shes the one with the deepest understanding of her bandmates and the determination to act upon that understanding. in the main story, saki already had this sort of disconnect from being hospitalized on top of generally being weak-willed which made it easier for her to give up on honami despite how much she didnt want to and honami and shiho are both too frozen in their character arcs to make a move without a push. and ichika is the one that initially pushes everyone. by the end of the 3rd rotation of focus events, all 4 have proven that they can push themselves just fine but ichika is still the one with the most intimate understanding of everyone. honami is actually not that far behind but is still learning to take the initiative, shiho only deeply understands honami (not that she cant do the same for the other 2 she and honami just *get* each other yknow), and saki, whooo boy saki im abt to talk abt her lol. all but saki's most recent event is about introspection and making realizations about herself which is very good for her but doesnt do much to fix that disconnect problem i mentioned earlier. enter: parallel harmonies (spoiler alert ig). after quite a bit of back and forth debate and even arguing between the 2, ichika is the one that ends up accepting and using saki's thoughts and feelings to let saki be in the lead in writing the songs so ultimately, ichika makes the bigger compromise out of the 2. this makes a lot of sense because saki is the one who is more certain about her identity and wants compared to ichika. shes not willing to sacrifice her values and what ideals mean the most to her which is pretty admirable. but the fact that she has more trouble collaborating with ichika than ichika has with her shows that not much has been done in fixing that disconnect saki had with her friends at the beginning of the game. this is not to say that saki doesnt genuinely care about l/n, it's just that she lacks the proper understanding to actually accomodate their needs and wants compared to the rest of them.

sooo i WAS going to segueway into talking abt how shiho was similar at firsr and how this contrasts with honami but i REALLY need to sleep rn sooo uh anon, i hope u enjoyed my hopefully comprehensible infodump abt leo/need lol. will prob talk abt shiho and honami on another post im just rlly tired rn..

[dullahandyke]

cant be bothered to make mulitple posts. have one post with many contents, it is like a treasure chest. also whoops got long teehee take a readmore

BOOBS. boobs. tits and boobs. soft and eueueuugughghghgh fun to squish and heavy and smell nice. society if i had someone to fool around with. kissing doesnt sound that appealing but if i played w someones boobs it would fix me i think. sorry. not sorry actually #liveyourtruth. whaever im 19 i can post abt whatever i want n what i wanna post abt is boobs

not to hammer home an old thought but god i wish i lived in a town or a village or a city... theres literally fuck all to do here unless i wanna bug my parents for a ride into town so instead i just sit inside n its kind of detrimental to my social life n indepence. like on the plus side, i might have considered taking up vaping in a calculated 'swapping one vice for another' way if living in the middle of a field didnt make getting my hands on any on a regular basis so utterly implausible, so like its good detterant in that way, but also like man do you know how psyched i would be to be able to walk to the cinema. walk to any store where i could buy things. u know how long google maps says it would take to walk to my local library? two hours. cant even go anywhere to hang out on a whim or without enough reason to justify bothering my parents abt it. like all going well ill hopefully be in the city for college come september but like. killing and bitingggggg

graduating in a week and AUGH on one hand out the gap waheyyy only a month until exams are DONE FOREVER (until college) but on the other hand, fuck man im never gonna see this school again, i barely hang out w my friends outside of school unless its someones 18th which in practice means that after the debs thats IT!!!!!oh my god im going to DIE, i need to go find cliodna on instagram so i can follow her because shes nice. ill be sitting in random classrooms in school lately n be hit w the fucking melancholy because im like oh boy soon i'll never see this place again and its like... intellectually i know that i am not one to dwell on shit like this after its happened, as evidenced by the 'oh god my friends are all going off to college, itll only be me and the kiddies in the youth theatre next year' crisis i had last spring, after which i was Fine Actually and rarely even thought of the ppl who left bcos i have the object permanence of a 2 month old, and in practice this summer is gonna be the same as every summer is and i didnt see a single one of my irls during summer last year and i was fine but like.... idk man knowing its the end.... kills

speaking of which, oh my GOD the leaving starts in *checks watch* 22 DAYS. FUCK. like the points i need for my course are actually pitiful like but 🥺 wanna do good... do i regularly and loudly disparage the english course and maintain that the only real measure of one's writing capabilities is your own evaluation? yes! do i still want a H1? also yes! it would be the easiest thing in the world if i was less opinionated but luckily i AM that opinionated. also god. biology the day before history.... death. ive not been paying attention to either class for literally the past few months, im gonna have to kick it into high gear when i graduate bcos lbr im gonna get my shit together enough to pay attention until im not in school anymore.

thinking about boobs again. would like to hold some. an irl's school shirt keeps shifting so i can see her boobs thru the button gaps and im heeueuugueugh

eating a mini viennese ice cream or whatever its called n its good 👍🏻 hard to type w tho

boobs again. hhhahwhauhghah!

my ass hurt. done.

[ev-n-learning]

Cat stats: entirety of 2022 edition!

shut up no im not late youre late .

Note: I double checked and literally All of that writing was in belarusian! Despite the fact that I switched how i was tracking this halfway through! So technically that's 114 hours and 8 minutes. Pretty close to russian, actually!

Marathi has so many simply because at the start of the year, I was still trying to get a handle on actually like... reading. I'm decent at that now! But currently I'm not at any sort of level where I can talk or really read or anything, haha.

(Apparently tumblr doesnt like readmores when you have an image id. Hoping this doesnt somehow ruin the formatting!)

So, starting with ukrainian; as of today I have four skills to complete to finish the duolingo course! So I think that's at least like, 12 more days? Or something? After that I'm going to go back through to make everything legendary, so I suspect in total I will have spent at least a year on it. So that's... something. Lingq is the only thing holding my reading comprehension together right now I think 😂

For marathi, I'm honestly just curious how much better I'll be by the end of this year! Maybe my goal should be like, 'read sentences' or something lol. I've long since come to terms with the fact that I just Don't learn fast at all... :)

Russian is currently sitting on the backburner, so maybe I'm a little bit better, maybe I'm not. For now, though, I'll try to stick with it and see where that takes me! I'm happy with the fact that I finally made it through duolingo, and hopefully never have to go back again, haha

Belarusian: my one true love, light of my life, So Fucking Hard to find resources for. Anyways.

You may have seen I did nanowrimo in belarusian this year! I wrote a Lot, relatively, and have written exactly one thing in belarusian since. Such is the way of nano burnout... (but actually, I'm just procrastinating.)

I haven't decided yet whether I really want to post what I did or not, so currently the file is just sitting on my phone, waiting to be transferred so I can fix typos and stuff. It's probably going to stay like that for a while.

In other news, while I did want to start usong polygloss more, I've made a fatal mistake in constantly forgetting to reply to people, so now I think the total of 3 other people on there are ignoring me. Or just not using the app anymore, one of the two. ...in light of this, I am not using polygloss for belarusian currently. #r.i.p. my dreams.

I haven't really thought much about what I want to do this year... write more, at least. I'm definitely going to try nanowrimo again, when it comes around. I'd love to start getting more listening and reading in, but I don't go on youtube much, and as far as I can tell, most anybody who's posting in belarusian is on twitter. My twitter account has been dead since 2018 (or something) and it is going to Stay that way. As far as actual books go, eh... it's a bit harder to get my hands on anything, haha. If you happen to have reccomendations, I'm all ears... :P

(Yes there is also The Tiktok™️ but that, too, has the affliction of No Fucking Subtitles and is also a hellscape just generally, so... no.)

It's also still early in the year, so it's really anyone's guess how things are gonna end up! But that's where having simple goals comes in handy XD

In short...

Ukrainian: finish duolingo course, ???

Marathi: be able to sort of read, maybe

Russian: Who The Fuck Knows, better grammar (impossible for me and yet)

Belarusian: Know Everything Better, write... more comprehensively? write my langblr posts in belarusian, maybe?

[edgyedgelord]

ai is equal to nfts and are being developed by the same tech bros who developed them and with slave labor.

agi is being used to produced more nfts and to try and get them popular again.

its the same exact story and will hoepfully have the exact same solution.

if you really need to rp with your comfort characters ask a friend who rps or make new friends who do! here on tumblr there are plenty of rp accounts you can intrract with. you can also write self indulgent fanfics for yourself if you really need to. it doesnt have to be perfect, its for yourself.

its gonna get a bit personal here but if youre still not convinced please consider reading on if you have the time

My hometown was recently hit by Beryl as a category 1 hurricane. This is the first hurricane we've had in a long while and we can thank global warming for this sudden change in weather for us! Nobody was hurt in my town but the power was knocked out. No issue there, we're used it, it usually doesn't take too long... but it took just over a week.

I was wondering why since usually such a simple task that should have only taken a few days took so long, something my uncle hadn't seen since he encounter category 5 hurricane Irma, but now I can't blame it on anything else other than this impending energy crisis.

TLDR; We were hit by Beryl a few days back as a category 1 and our power wasn't restored for a week. This usually only happens with a 5 but my suspicions are that it's because of the energy crisis since it wasn't just my town but most towns in the area.

Texas is struggling as it is with it's poor power grid, horrible govenor, and mass of cult followers to the big T man baby who can't see the issues here. If you want to help save this state for the new generation who is hopefully smarter than those before then it starts with our current power issue.

You can help by, if you live in Texas, taking part in your local elections. Your vote and other's matter in keeping bad people out of power. It is up to our votes to work our way to getting our current govenor out and one who actually cares about us into power to hopefully fix this state so we can actually live.

Outside of Texas, you can help out by bringing awareness to our power crisis that will soon become worse and a crisis to others. Revolt against the glorification of AI and the dystopian future it will bring if left unchecked. We do NOT want all human activities to be replaced with AI, we can think and create for ourselves. We did not need generated search results, everything was fine without them, it's a waste of time and power.

If my predicitions are correct we are currently at the worst point with AI, like with NFTs when every company was making them, so it should all collapse soon once the power crisis gets more mainstream. You can help speed this up by not shutting up about it. Mention those of us struggling because of it, mention how it's making global warming worse, we can end this together.

Vent art

[ireallydontunderstandpeopleatall]

this past monday I took smores to the vet to check his condition of chewing on his back legs and on his butt/ back area.

the vet gave him and allergy shot which fixed him and mentioned for long term care to have moisturizing wash baths and benadryls

vet also took his blood to test his liver values, bc in may 2023 when he went to a diff vet for stomach issues and they tested his blood and saw his liver values were off and they gave him liver vitamins to help support his liver which he has not been taking bc theyre chewables but he has not been taking them bc he does not like them

on wednesday his blood work came back and his liver values are still bad and also his kidneys are showing b.u.n? which i need to give the vet a pee sample

so now vet said to do an ultrasound for smores which will cover his liver and kidneys and if necessary will do a biospy after.

and I'm in disbelief because my baby dog is now sick and idk what is going to happen and not sure how much longer he will be with me

this mid week i was so depressed and stressed out bc of costs

the ultrasound i called about to 2 vet specialists our vet recommended and they have both quoted about $745-$920. which means to get an xray alone is already 1,000 dollars.

I can pay 1 ,000 dollars but what is next? how much will treatment be? i googled liver disease in dogs and one person said they paid 14,000$ just to get a diagnosis. I don't have 14,000 now, nor will I ever have it all at once.

I feel so helpless that I can not do more for my baby, and i dont know what to do, am I just suppose to not get him medical care??

I read posts from the rainbow bridge and people who say things like they wish they could have done more for him/her. i now know what that really means.

I thought about how I only have 4,000 and i just let my mom borrow it because shes fucking irresponsible and needs to pay back her debt. and she wont be paying me back for a while but I didnt think i would need that money rn and how wrong i was.

then my fucking big credit card is maxed out due to my mom's usage also. it would have 5,000 which i could have really used for the ultrasound.

and so i was sitting there flipping through my accounts and looking at my balances like a few thousand dollars was going to magically pop up in them and save me and my dog

i looked at my digit savings and even if i cash over absolutely everything I will have CLOSE to 4,000. not even 4,000 :(

then my paypal credit which i asked for a credit line increase and they gave me 2,000 but it said i do not get an actual card for it and its mainly for online purchases so that doesnt help me at all.

so finally i applied for care credit and luckily was approved for 5,000.

also to note i just bought my tesla and the payments are so high and insurance is through the roof and i will turn over this car if i need to to free up money to set aside for smores treatment so we'll see if it comes down to that. it's my dream car but i can always buy another one later and my baby dog needs me right now

so hopefully care credit is enough for everything and i really hope a biopsy will not be 14,000. if things can stay below 8,000 for everything than that is something that i can reach but if they start quoting me 20k or so I'm afraid i will have to make some tough decisions and start considering end of life services for smores.

I have been thinking about it and if it comes down to me absolutely not being able to afford paying for smores services then i will have to start having a conversation with his vet on what i can do to make sure he is comfortable for the rest of his time :(

this week has been me taking so many pics, spending so much time, making sure he feels loved and looking at him like i will never see him again. i keep thinking of how i dont want to think of what it will be like without him, im not sure i will be able to breathe. he is my soul dog and i love him with all of my heart

I called around to see if i could find a better deal on an ultrasound but it looks like i can't. i also have an option of 2 places and right now I have booked with the "better place " but its 3 weeks out and being that long out also stresses me out and idk

I been putting his liver supplements in his water so he can actually take some of it. I really wish I had been addressing this sooner.

with the death of my aunt who i love so much, stephen who was such a good friend and poor daniel. I just want to try to stay positive bc i jsut dont know what to do or think anymore.

the sudden deaths of my loved ones in such a little time has been so hard on me, I remember after finding out about each one my mind goes to a dark place and my body kind of falls apart for a time and it just feels like it gets weaker with each one. I have questioned my own health and then i get scared of what if

anyways so thats whats going on w smores so far

[girltober]

Long gender ramble incoming!

Been reading through my old posts and like... damn. I feel like the OG Girl Month may have lowkey been the happiest period of my life so far?

I felt so genuinely self-confident and loved and appreciated by my friends and... idk. It was just really nice. I want to try to get back into that headspace.

And like the experience of doing gender in such a casual non-committal way was SO liberating. Girlmoding then vs girlmoding now feels like the difference between doodling for fun and doing a Serious Art Project.

Like I'm locked in now. I've come out to my family, gotten an official HRT prescription and I've made trans friends who might view me differently if I detransitioned (I mean I'd hope not but idk). I CAN still stop whenever I want but it'd be kinda a big deal and a bit embarrassing, and I'd want to walk a careful line with the way I talk about it to make it clear that just because it was a phase for *me* doesnt mean you should assume that about anyone else...

Anyway I'm not saying I necessarily WANT to quit at this point but... idk I'm just questioning shit. Turns out you can't actually speedrun your full gender self-discovery journey in a single month who knew.

I have still been enjoying being girlnamed and wearing dresses, but its been sort of tinged by the stress/pressure/imposter syndrone sometimes. Like the difference between saying you like to draw and introducing yourself as an artist. I'm also kinda exhausted by the constant girlupkeep, and the less I do it the less girly I feel. Shaving - face or body- being the main one thats been grating on me more and more, but also my long hair has gotten more annoying as summer rolls on.

Anyway a couple of assorted personal gender theories that may or may not be true idk

I'm trans, I've just been demoralised as my naivite has been slowly stripped away and I've started to truly grok the struggle that being trans longterm actually means- warring against your own body and society alike

I'm genderfluid or genderqueer, and I'm frustrating myself by trying too hard to just be a woman. I just need to go with the flow and take gender day by day

I'm not actually trans, I'm just Cis+ /a crossdresser - wearing dresses makes me feel happy and confident, but in a completely different way to trans stuff. (Counterpoint: is there a meaningful difference? If I'm AMAB and like wearing dresses and using a girlname and girlpronouns then whats the point in quibbling over definitions?) (Also, is this theory motivated by my demoralisation in point 1 and is merely my brain trying to "dodge the draft" of the trans experience?)

My mental health has just been kinda shitty for unrelated reasons and gender is just a scapegoat. I should stop going to bed at 2am and clean my room and see if that fixes anything.

I should literally stop thinking about my gender and just wear and be what feels good. My gender is Nunya.

Relevant discussion with a friend from early December:

Actually while I was finding those images in my camera roll I saw this and it actually is such a good representation of my current gender experience:

TLDR: My gender is currently solidly in the "it is what it is" sector and the cure is shifting that shit up and/or right lol.

Anyway shits weird but I'll work it out. Worst case scenario I quit HRT at my 3 month checkup with little to no harm done to my body (and hopefully a permanent buff to my nipple sensitivity) and can look back on this fondly as a fun phase I enjoyed. No shame in trying new experiences and deciding they're not for you, nor in being mistaken and working shit out. 💙💜💙🤍🖤🤍

[korattata]

I wish i knew how to actually talk to people and not just read a message and then feel dread about the fact that i'm expected to reply even tho i do want to do that. I would like to reply.

I'll give myself credit that i've gotten better at not taking more than a day or two to reply to my very close friends circle but like. What about when i talk to someone else.

I would like to talk to more than a very small handful of people. I have found out that i DO like talking to people actually. I just. Completely hit a wall and cannot formulate a reply. Even if i'm happy about the fact that i'm being talked to just... Nothing sticks to my brain where i can actually say something

I want soooo badly to ask a few people... Idk. I dont understand what the line of actually being friends with someone is. So i think even without this issue i wouldnt be able to tell people "hey i think youre cool and like when we have talked a couple of times, are we actually friends i want to talk to you More" bc thats probably just too weird and stilted and. weird again

Is it a part of the probably-adhd? ... If so, will the people talking to me hold out until i can hopefully get medicated for that like, halfway through next year, even tho they dont know this info? ...What if that doesnt work? I honestly dont know what i'm going to do if i'm not able to fix my brain at least a bit to be honest. Not just on this topic but literally everything is So Difficult to do and any time i see someone say they got medicated for adhd and it helped them its both relieving and terrifying bc like. Ok maybe thats hope, or i'm not going to be able to do that and i have to. Live like this forever i guess??? I cant even get tested until next year at the soonest and havent even gone to the setup appointment yet so. Who cares atm i guess.

I know this is definitely partly general anxiety but even when i am completely able to push past that i still am blocked and its so so frustrating.

i would love to actually have the ability to develop a friendship. I guess i kinda screwed myself over some by being very adamant about Not doing that in the past for whatever reason. I know that part was specifically anxiety for sure.

I'll figure it out eventually, i guess. As long as i'm still able to whenever 'eventually' happens.

[lookmomitsmytmblr]

ONe last RB to have your lovely concluding thoughts on my page :) You're thoughts are so insightful and your delivery is really respectful.

Ten is so terrible. That's why I love him so much. Totally agree about it not being anyone's obligation to fix ten, or anyone. Actually that's kind of why I wrote that long post about Donna's side of the relationship, because often I find that the female character's perspective in relationships is disregarded, so whenever I'm trying to flex my English lit obsession with regards to shipping I make an effort to examine what the female character gets from the relationship (in a 'is this healthy' way as well as how her narrative could be enhanced by the pairing.)

Part of what makes them so compatible imo is that a lot of the time that she’s being/doing what he needs is because it’s what she needs. She searches him out because she wants the excitement and adventure of life on the TARDIS, not because she’s looking for him because he needs her. She expresses concern that he’s still on his own, but I felt like the way she brought it up implied that it wasn’t the reason she was looking for him. She had her own motives, because the adventure was what she decided SHE wanted (ugh the queen). In Pompeii, she doesnt ask him to save someone because it’s what he needs. It’s because she needs it, and it turns out he needed it too. (Take courtesy of my mom lol love u mom)  I see people talking about how she is the Doctor’s equal, but it’s not brought out enough that he is her equal as well. Donna is so smart, talkative, creative, and driven, and he absolutely embraces that. She’s loud, rude, and brash and he appreciates it. I always got the impression that people around her treat her like she’s too much, but with him that’s just being on the same wavelength lol. They are wonderful friends, with so many common goals, and a lot of healthy compromise. They're also totally not perfect and that's another thing I love about them. They feel real to me, because of their bumps and bruises and stupidities and toxicities. Love them to bits.

I will admit it's fun to hate a character or ship sometimes, but not to make people feel bad. I try to tag my critical or anti stuff appropriately so that I can enjoy a good whinge, while making it hopefully easy for people who like that character/ship to avoid.

ALSO SORRY FOR THIS MONSTER POST

Hey random sorry but I love your account

THANK U SO MUCH!!!! I was looking at the tags u left on my Death and The Queen essay the other day and I was like !💖!

mad respect for the nine/rose content btw, they really were phenomenal. I try to be the change I want to see (read: shamelessly stanning tendonna) but I adored the relationship between rose and nine.

[botanyshitposts]

is that why you think mammals have more than two sexes

idk if this was supposed to be like, a bizarre transphobic jab, but partially, actually. in biology very, very few things actually occur in binary groups; i prefer to imagine biological sex, as well as gender, by imagining two overlapping bell curves. there’s an average that we expect from gender and sex matching up at birth because most people will fall within the first quartile of the curves where all the most average genes were turned on and all the non-genetic factors surrounding that turn out in an average expected way, and there are more people who still are just as male or female but have different genes turned on and off or whatnot and wouldnt check every single box if like, The Chromosome Police showed up and made them do a cheek swab or whatever, and there are people who are intersex, which covers a wide range of different expressions of the genome.

but! we don’t have The Chromosome Police and we don’t need them, because we have gender to do this for us, which is something that has much more to do with a mix of genetic and sociological factors. in my opinion, gender makes it so that even if you’re a cis man who doesnt have like, idk penis gene #435 on the Y chromosome, youre still a man, and even if youre a woman who doesnt have vagina gene #874 turned on, youre still a woman. hell, some people go their entire lives without knowing that they have full extra chromosomes. it just....it just doesnt matter.

to expand on this, my theory is that gender serves the function of convenience more than like, a law or whatever; we have a system where there are usually a small set of things that happen as a result of a wide range of thousands of different things that turn off and on during development, and a lot of different moving parts are going on in that department that help mitigate disaster if one deletes itself or whatever, and not all those things are guaranteed to turn on or off, and as a result we’ve developed a system where regardless of whats in your pants- because anything could be there, honestly, evolution works in systems and as a result doesnt know or care- there’s a social thing that functions differently on another level thats more elastic, so no matter if you’re a woman who was born with one singular penis gene turned on or a woman who had a lot of them turn on, you both can kind of be in the same clump of ‘people who are this’. not ‘people who look like this’ or ‘people who do this thing’ or ‘people who have x combinations of chromosomes’, but ‘people who, for whatever multitude of reasons and results or relationships with themselves, are this way or another way or are existing successfully in some distant combination of ways’, and having those people around- if we follow this theory- apparently was not at all disastrous enough for evolution to pump the breaks and start killing people who never activated Penis And Vagina Gene #1456. in fact, trans people have been around as long as humans have, and that includes nonbinary people, intersex people, and cis people with different gender expressions. ancient societies had us around, there are just as many of us now as there always was, and biology just. it does not care.

think of all the things that go into a person. there is a whole lot of stuff that we do not understand. there are so many things that could change, or differ from individual to individual, and having a lot of moving parts like this with millions of different viable combinations of biological and environmental things works, because it means that the entire system doesnt break like a fucking twig if both a penis and a vagina gene turn on at the same time, or if little grog in the forest grows up hunting mammoths with his 8 moms and no dads in a nomadic tribe in prehistoric france. it also means that even if someone ends up as another combination, they dont immediately collapse into a heap of dust! great system, for the most part.

now, this is all contentious. first of all, this is my own set of theories on why this exists, and second of all i have complex feelings about the science surrounding this itself; as a biologist im fascinated, but as a trans queer person it’s terrifying. the reason this is is because there are two groups of people who want to learn things like this: people who actually want to study the details of human sex and gender, and people who want to find The Ultimate Queer Gene to ‘fix’ us forever, which like. as ive covered before. egregious moral, ethical, and basic human rights reasons aside. not something that actually would improve us as a species even if we did go to the farthest ends of the bell curves i mentioned and manage to transform the entire human race into two massive homogeneous supermale and superfemale groups with only the the most Epic And Extreme big dick and boob genes selected for (or, if were going off TERF logic, femurs of a bizarrely specific length or like, a skull shape or smth, you can see where this goes very quickly).

like. this shit is complicated. it is. sometimes, things in biology- especially when it comes to real people of our own species- are best left as enigmas, you know what im saying. but in the meantime, we can take estimates, we can say ‘we can make an educated guess about the biological sex of a skeleton by looking at their pelvis’, but we cant say ‘all cis women have femurs of exactly x cm, which is absolutely a normal and not creepy thing to obsess over’, and we cant say ‘all human beings are either male or female and that looks one of two ways’, because as we know from intersex people and all the other caveats in this subject, this is not true.

we can say with confidence that most human beings have a gender that matches what is average for their biological sex (which doesnt always define itself as the exact same set of characteristics to begin with) but not always, and most human beings have have a gender which falls vaguely under the umbrella of two vaguely defined existences, but not always, and most women have a femur length between x and x cm long, but women come in all shapes and sizes and therefore it isnt a good way to define what being a living breathing person of a particular circumstance means or looks like, holy shit, etc, and we can use this knowledge to make educated guesses about the world, but we can also use knowledge of what isn’t the majority of people to make educated guesses about what those guesses mean, and what roles they play (and hopefully will get some more rights in the meantime).

so yeah like. most people are one of two biological sexes, but its more complicated than ‘peepis or vagornio’, you feel.

[darling-i-read-it]

Good Husbands

Adrian Chase x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: adrian being sad :(, aggressive interviewers being sexist, the end is cut off before any actual nsfw happens but it’s like cut off RIGHt before lol

Author’s Note: Adrian <3 Adrian <3 Adrian <3 Writing interviews is one of my favorite things to do and i never get to do them lol I just love aggressively annoying interviewers in fanfiction I think its so funny. I hope you enjoy darling!

Requested: by anon, hiii! so I have a vigilante/adrian chase request I'd like to share. also, the reader's role in this is kinda inspired by margot robbie's take on sharon tate from "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." (you'll see what I mean, hopefully)

so I was wondering if you could do a vigilante/adrian chase x fem!reader oneshot in which Y/N's happens to be local famous actress and just so happens to be with THE vigilante. she also, to everyone's surprise, has a child with him. people were quick to be shocked because vigilante's well....vigilante and she's THE Y/N. famous for her own starring roles. she's a bit outgoing, likes to have her fun and loves vinyls 24/7. and yes, she knows of her own partner's "work" and of course identity but that doesnt stop her from loving him any less. when he's not working, he's the adorable and insanely fun stay-at-home dad and is loving towards his girl.

one night, he comes home to them both and has a talk with Y/N about being a bit insecure, not only because of what he does for a living but whenever he's mentioned by people whenever Y/N's out for another role, people are quick to criticize the fact that "oh he kills for a living", "how can he hold a woman like her", and the most bothering, "he's a dad? how could he be? look at him". but she's quick to think that she doesnt care about what they have to say about adrian because that's her adrian, the one she adores. just some good fluff and cute moments between the two, adrian being an adorable father and maybe to top it off....some spice?? but yea! pls? thank you. :)

Summary: the request!

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Interviews were kind of the bane of your existence at this point. After you had married Adrian you gave little to no interviews. It made them harder to get and therefore, more people craved them. It wouldn’t have been a big deal had you not married Vigilante. But you did. Now you have to deal with those consequences.

You smiled pleasantly, hands linked in front of you as you tried to remain civil as this interview started. The reporter this time around was a woman who had prying eyes and long black hair. You were only doing this because it was required for your new movie. At least one.

This was the one.

“Are you ready Mrs…”

“Just Y/L/N please,” you said. This was going to be trouble. She only had half an hour to torture you. You could last that long being polite. “And yes I’m ready.”

“Okay just…” She fixed her tie, looked at the crew and then there was a countdown to the start of the interview. You cleared your throat, adjusted yourself in your seat and started to smile. “Hello everyone, my name is Kiele Turman and I’m here with the infamous Y/N Y/L/N who is starring in a new highly anticipated movie ‘Batman: No Way Home.’ Tell us, did you get to talk to Batman about this upcoming project?” You laughed, happy that the first question was something you could answer easily.

“Yes actually! Funnily enough, they had to get his permission to do this movie. He came to set once and it was hilarious.”

“Oh that’s fantastic! Did you get to talk to him?” “I play the love interest, of course I got to talk to him.” Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad afterall if you just got to talk about the Batman the whole time. “He was actually super nice but he had to leave quickly. Fighting crime and all.” She nodded, joining you in the laughter.

“Speaking of crime, I have to ask.” Here it is. “There have been a lot of rumors about you and your husband, Vigilante. We know you are the mother of a two year old with him, how is that going? Considering his line of work?” You adjusted in your seat. You could already see this being added to compilations on Youtube of the awkwardly few amount of times you had talked about your husband.

“He’s a great dad and a great husband,” you said. “I’m very happy with him.” “Honestly, I’m surprised Batman didn’t ask you for his number, considering his murder wrap.” You scoffed, looking at your manager behind the camera who was giving you no emotions.

“I’m not here to talk about my husband. I’m here to talk about the movie if you don’t mind.”

“Well of course but you do so few interviews that it would be remiss of me not to mention your famous husband who took America's sweetheart for his own. You can’t blame us for being curious!” She had a smile on her face that was so forced it had to be hurting her. You nodded a bit, shaking your head. “At least tell us a bit about your little boy. How is motherhood treating you?”

“Well! I have a supportive co parent who takes Seth when I’m not around and so we’ve been trying to manage that.” You could feel her judgment. Letting your child stay with a murderer. “But he got to meet Batman so I think he’s got his hero down pat. His dad is rather annoyed about that.” That eased you up a bit and clearly she could take that.

“Oh how wonderful! I hear you also got a visit from Bruce Wayne of Wayne Enterprises who is funding the project.”

==

You mostly forgot about the interview until it came out a couple weeks later. You didn’t even notice when it dropped because you were so busy on set you hadn’t been on your phone all day. Now that the day was over you were more than happy to get back to your family and eat ice cream and go to bed.

You unlocked the door and stepped inside, tossing your bag to the side.

“Adrian I’m home!” you called, slipping off your shoes lazily. You ran your hand through your hair and walked into the house, peeking around the walls to find your husband. “Adrian? Seth?!”

Finally you found Adrian in the living room. He was wearing his regular clothes, a bomber jacket and some jeans. Seth was at his feet, playing with blocks in his little ‘Daddy’s Favorite’ shirt.

“Hey boys,” you cooed, walking up behind them. You brushed Adrian's hair out of his face and kissed his forehead before leaning down and kissing Seth’s head. “Are you okay?” you questioned, sitting on the ground beside your son. You put your hand on Adrian’s knee and he looked away from his phone then up at you. He gave you a half smile that was weak and didn’t meet his eyes.

“Yeah, long day.”

“Adrian,” you whispered, putting your chin on his knee. He looked down at you pleasantly.

“Am I a good husband?”

You were so startled you lifted your head back up. Seth was playing with your fingers, very happy his momma was home.

“Adrian you’re the best husband. Why? Baby?” You grabbed his hand, getting on your knees in front of him.

“That’s the baby,” he whispered, pointing to Seth. You giggled, shaking your head.

“Adrian.”

“Your interview came out today.”

Your face fell. You had completely forgotten about it. You had mentioned it to him when it happened but didn’t want to dwell. You knew how much that kind of thing hurt him.

“They don’t think I can be a dad or a husband,” he whispered solemnly. He had the saddest puppy dog look on his face. When he got sad it broke hearts. You put your hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at you through his thick glasses.

“Adrian they don’t know you like we do. They only know things Vigilante have done. They don’t know that you have matching shirts with our son.” He laughed gently.

“I love the shirts. I think you should get one too.”

“I should.” Seth was going to fall asleep. You could feel him on your side that he was ready for his nap. “Hold on lemme put bubba down,” you whispered, picking up your son.

“Goodnight Seth. I love you,” he weeped quietly. You quickly took him upstairs and put him down where he was already ready to fall asleep. You grabbed the baby monitor and rushed back downstairs to where Adrian was still sitting.

“What if I can’t be a good dad? What if we shouldn’t have gotten married?” You shook your head.

“If I thought we shouldn’t have gotten married I wouldn’t have married you.” You grabbed his cheeks, forcing him to look into your eyes. “You’re the best husband ever. You’re the best dad ever. You’re here for me and Seth always. Not many men can say that Adrian.” You put your forehead on his and looked up into his eyes where he was looking at you dumbly. “I love you. I don’t care what other people have to say about our relationship.”

“Are you sure?” he pouted.

“Positive.” You brought up the baby monitor and pointed at it. “Look. We made that. We’re doing this and we’re doing it well. Who else can say that?”

“An alarming amount of people. There should be a test you have to take before having a baby.” You laughed and nodded, sitting back on your hindlegs. He was still sitting on the couch, a little bit better now. You put the baby monitor down and rubbed his knees, looking up at him.

“Adrian?” you whispered.

“Yeah?” he whispered because you were whispering.

“Do you know how much I love you?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Are you going to show me?”

“Yeah sweetie I’m gonna show you.” He shivered as he felt your hands drag further up his thighs.

“Oh!” You smiled gently and he was too excited to breathe evenly. “I love you.” “I love you more Adrian.”

“I’m gonna unbuckle my pants now.”

“I would advise that yeah.”

DC Tag List: @elisaa-shelby, @alexxavicry, @demigirl-with-problems, @chaotic-fangirl-blog, @caswinchester2000, @gxrlwithluv, @lov3vivian

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)