#hopefully ill have better answers soon

[vbecker10]

Hey odd request but I have a lot of tummy issues could you write Loki comforting reader with tummy cramps.

Tummy Troubles

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: Loki discovers you curled up in your bed trying to deal with your stomach issues and offers to help you feel better.

Warnings: 🤷‍♀️ stomach issues, mention of throwing up previously, feeling ill but not specific illness mentioned... there will be fluff!

A/N: I'm really really sorry this took so long! I've been having a rough time finding inspiration but last night, while I was curled up in a ball trying not to die from my own stomach issues, I came up with the idea for this fic in an effort to distract myself. Thank you for sending this request! I hope you like it! 💚

Your phone buzzes on your nightstand for the second time and you groan, gripping the sheet around you tighter as your stomach cramps and your body shivers. After what feels like forever, the pain subsidies but you still can't force your body to move so you can reach your phone.

You've been laying curled up in a near fetal position for at least the last hour, even since you dragged yourself back to bed after loosing the battle to keep from throwing up your lunch. Even the slightest movement brings a wave of nausea so you've decided your best bet is to stay perfectly still until you finally fall asleep which will hopefully be soon but you doubt it. You're utterly exhausted but as far from sleep as possible. This is not a new feeling unfortunately, once every other month or so your stomach decides to revolt against you for seemingly no reason.

Closing your eyes tightly, you feel chills run up your spine as your stomach cramps. Your muscles slowly relax and just as you take a deep breath to steady yourself, your phone buzzes for a third time.

You don't need to check it to know who keeps calling, it's Loki. He was due back from his mission roughly half an hour ago and somewhere in the last six months, it became a habit of his to call you to let you know he landed. You thought it was sweet and normally you couldn't wait to hear his voice again but there was no way you would let your ridiculously attractive best friend see you sweaty, nauseous and curled up in pain.

The doors open for the elevator and Loki steps inside, his phone pressed to his ear as he listens to it ring over and over. When he hears your voice mail pick up, he sighs and ends the call without leaving a message.

Putting his phone back into his pocket, Loki walks into the kitchen in the common area in an effort to locate you. Instead, he finds Wanda and Natasha making tea and discussing their plans for the evening.

"Have either of you seen Y/N recently?" Loki asks, trying to keep from sounding overly concerned.

"She didn't come to our last two meetings," Natasha answers. "She's sick, some stomach thing I think."

"Thanks, I'll go check on her," Loki says then he leaves the kitchen, walking down the hall to your apartment.

He knocks, waiting a moment but when you don't answer he lets himself in like he has dozens of times before. He sighs when you're not on the couch like he had hoped you would be. He looks around your dark apartment and realizes that means you're in your bedroom. He walks towards the closed door and pauses.

The door is always closed when he's come over and he often found himself wondering what your bedroom was like or more specifically what your bed was like. What color sheets did you have? Was your mattress soft or firm? Did you sleep on the left side or the right side? What he wondered most often though, was what it would be like to fall asleep with his arms around you. He'd never ask you any of those questions of course but now he was about to find out the answer to most of them.

Loki knocks on your bedroom door, putting his ear to the dark wood and hears a soft groan in response.

Your bedroom door opens slowly and you pull the thin sheet tighter around yourself. Despite your back facing the door, you can immediately tell by the sound of his leather boots that it's Loki.

"Are you okay, love?" Loki asks. "Natasha said you were sick."

"Go away," you mumble, squeezing your eyes closed as your stomach cramps. You feel the bed dip lightly as he sits on the edge and you groan. "Don't move the bed," you force the words out, afraid speaking will trigger your nausea as it often does.

Loki gets up quickly and apologizes, "Sorry."

You can feel him watching you but you can't move to face him. Part of you wants him to leave, close the door on his way out and act like he never saw you here. The other part of you desperately wants him to hold you until you fall asleep.

"Let me help you," he says finally.

"I'm fine Loki, you can go," you say through gritted teeth and the instant you hear your voice you know the God of Lies isn't going to believe that.

"Y/N," he says softly as he sits gently on the bed again, careful not to move it as much as before. "I can make you feel better if you're sick."

"How?" you ask then cringe in pain as your stomach cramps tightly, a second later you feel something unexpected. Loki's chest presses lightly against your back as he lays on your bed next to you.

"I can use my magic to heal you. I've used it to heal wounds and illnesses before," Loki explains as his arm wraps around you, his hand settling on your stomach gently. "Just relax love, this will only take a moment."

You nod but you're body remains stiff, you've spent almost every night for the last three or four months wishing you could lie in bed with Loki but this is not how you wanted it to happen. Your attention is drawn to Loki's fingers as they begin to glow green, his seider spreading slowly over your body.

Almost instantly, your stomach settles as the cramps release and the nausea subsides completely. You find yourself inching closer to Loki as the chills fade and the only things you feel are tired and comfortable. Your hand covers Loki's, his seider fading once the spell has finished healing you.

You nod and smile, "So much better. Thanks Loki."

"Better?" he asks quietly, his lips a few inches from your ear. 'Black cotton sheets, firm mattress, left side of the bed,' Loki thinks, answering the questions he had about your bed, a smile spreads across his lips as his fingers intertwine with yours. The only thing left for him to do was try to hold you for as long as possible since he wasn't sure when our if he'd get to do it again.

Your eyes flutter open. "No," you reply quietly, still holding his hand to keep his arm around your body. "Please stay."

"Of course, love," he answers.

You yawn, closing your eyes for a moment. You've cuddled with previous boyfriends but Loki was so much more comfortable than you had imagined he could be.

"I'll leave so you can rest," Loki suggests even though it's the last thing he wants to do.

He shifts as close to you as he can, thrilled by your request, "Okay love."

You yawn again, struggling to keep your eyes open and in your exhausted state you find yourself asking Loki something you've wanted to know for months. "Why do you keep calling me love? You never call anyone else that."

Loki places a soft kiss to your neck, just below your ear and whispers so quietly you barely hear him, "Because I love you."

You smile as your eyes close and just as you slip off to sleep you whisper back, "I love you too."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[msbigredmachine]

You Again - Flashback

A/N: A snippet of Evelyn and Joe in high school. I'm still completing Part 2 which hopefully should be up soon.

Warning: Themes of bullying

Word Count: 1.1k

READ PART 1 HERE

Escambia High School, October 2000

“Hey Evie!”

She is so startled she collides with her locker door, her books nearly flying out of her hands. It takes a couple of seconds to regain her bearings and realize who is standing in front of her, and it’s not anyone she’s expecting, certainly not the captain of the cheer team.

“Ayesha,” Evie straightens, awkwardly shoving her books back inside her locker and adjusting her skewed glasses. “Umm, did you…did you want something?” she asks, her arms crossed protectively over herself. They’re not friends - Ayesha has never hesitated to remind her of this - so she wonders why she is here, flashing a megawatt smile that one could mistake to be amiable. 

“So…don’t trip,” Ayesha begins, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “but I found your note in History class.”

For a second she’s confused, and then it hits her. Oh no. Oh god. She tries to play dumb, fighting the urge to look into her History textbook where she’d thought she’d tucked her little, ill-advised daydream away in one of its pages, safe from the prying eyes of the queen of the mean girls. “W-What? What note?” 

“The note you wrote, silly. I think you dropped it on the floor, you really need to be more careful, girl,” Ayesha giggles.

It’s a lie and they both know it. Evie wouldn’t be so stupid as to expose such damning evidence, let alone discard it haphazardly in class of all places. Her brain is working frantically, trying to figure out how on earth Ayesha got hold of it to begin with. Each student had to present their History paper in front of the entire class, and she suspects Ayesha swiped the note from her desk when it was her turn. It’s not hard to imagine the malicious glee in her eyes as she read the contents, not too different from the one she is trying and failing to hide right this moment:

Dear Joe, Would you like to go to the Fall Ball with me? YES   NO

“Okay,” Evie starts tentatively, treading lightly. “So can I have the note back? Please?”

Ayesha’s eyes widen dramatically. “Oh! I gave it to Joe. I saw his name on it. The note was for him, right?”

Evie feels her heart sink to Titanic depths, her insides heavy from the weight of this shattering news. The magnitude of the trouble she's put herself in brings tears to her eyes but she quickly blinks them away before Ayesha adds it to her ammunition. “Oh…I, uh…it wasn’t for…You’re mistaken, the note was for another Joe-” she starts to backtrack.

“Oh girl, there’s only one Joe in this school who matters and we all know who he is,” Ayesha dismisses flippantly. “Why you so worried anyway? I come bearing good news. He asked me to give you this.” She extends her hand, a piece of paper that looked torn out of a legal pad tucked between her fingers. Eyeing her skeptically, Evie takes it, her anxiety rising as she unfolds it and reads the familiar scribble:

Dear Evie,

Meet me under the bleachers at lunch.

Joe.

Against her better judgment, her heart flutters at his invitation, excitement bubbling inside her just knowing he responded to her. But common sense swoops in, and she stammers, shaking her head, “Look, I don’t…this isn’t necessary at all…Please, let’s just forget that any of this happened-”

“Girl, are you seriously chickening out on Joe Anoa’i?” Ayesha counters. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you and you’re turning it down?”

Evie makes one last throw of the dice, desperate to get out of this predicament. "But why are you doing this? Isn't he your boyfriend?"

"It's...complicated," Ayesha answers easily, placing a hand on Evie's shoulder. “Sweetie, any girl would kill to be in your shoes right now. Who knows, he might say yes. Are you really gonna throw that away because you’re scared?”

Terrified, actually. Not much good comes out of interacting with Joe Anoa’i when you’re not a member of his precious clique. But Ayesha is right. A private meeting with the most popular boy in school is too enticing to pass up, if only this once. So Evie forces herself to wait through the agonizing hour and a half before lunchtime, embroiled in thoughts of how their conversation will go. 

It turns out she should have trusted her gut, because the minute she steps onto the field, something feels off. 

Joe is not here. Outside is eerily quiet save for the muted bustling inside the cafeteria a few feet away. Chalking it up to him standing her up, Evie permits herself to exhale a huge sigh of relief and spins back towards the building, eager to forget all about the mess she almost made.

Then, it happens. Out of the shadows, they step out, seemingly from every corner of the stands. Jon. Josh. Ayesha and her lackeys, Kelli and Chichi. All of them emerging one by one until she is surrounded by his entire posse.

And last but not least, Joe appears like some kind of video game final boss. He steps between the twins, both of whom stare her down with the same demeanor as vultures circling over a carcass. He twirls her letter between his long fingers, his handsome face wearing a sugary sweet smile and a spiteful glint in his eye that strikes terror in Evie.

“So, Evie…I read your little message to me. It was…sweet. Real cute,” he says, coming closer to her, humored by the way she tenses as he towers over her. “I just have one question…” 

He gently trails the corner of the note along her cheek. The gesture would be considered as intimate if his eyes didn't harbor so much malevolence. “Did you really think my answer would be yes?”

The group bursts into laughter, the sounds cruel and taunting. Joe circles around her, regarding her with the same countenance as a piece of gum stuck underneath his Air Max sneakers. “What makes you think I’d ever wanna go to the dance with a nobody like you? Huh?” He throws an arm around Ayesha and kisses her cheek. "Babe, didn't you tell her you were going with me?"

Ayesha crosses her arms and shrugs with fake nonchalance, an even faker smile on her pretty face. "I wanted to...but it was much more fun fuckin' with her head."

She should have known better. Better than to write that shit in the first place. Known that Ayesha was setting her up from the start; known that standing her up or simply ignoring her was too merciful, too tame for Joe and his coven.

It’s beyond humiliating, and all Evie wants is for the ground to swallow her whole.

Ayesha steps up to her, angling her head low enough to catch Evie’s teary-eyed expression. “Awww, are you gonna cry? You gon’ cry bitch? You thirsty-ass pathetic loser?”

Ayesha's arms shoot out, shoving Evie so hard that she falls over, crying out as her knees collide painfully with the ground. Her glasses slip off her face and onto the cold dewy grass and dirt. Her tears splash onto the cracked lenses as they all step past her fallen frame, their cackles echoing in her ears long after they are gone.

--------------------------------------------------

Fun fact: A version of this incident happened to me in high school in real life. Only difference is I wasn't pushed. 😭😭😭

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[bellaxgiornata]

It's been a bit since I've posted one of these (or have even been hearing the guys), but Matt decided to show up unannounced this morning in that fake apartment filled with fictional characters that exists solely in my head in a way that couldn't be ignored. And he wasn't alone...

(My brain is rebooting as I try to get those two Tuna-Tober fics edited to post hopefully soon. Thank y'all for being patient. I'm still behind on answering messages--thank you constant illnesses and the holidays. Promise I'm not ignoring any of y'all).

[Matt striding into the room in his black suit]

Jax (smirking as he leans back on the couch, spreading his legs while throwing an arm over the backrest): Showing up in pajamas this time? Think that's gonna suddenly get her attention? You look ridiculous.

Matt (huffing an amused breath): Think I know her better than you do, buddy.

Jax (cocking his head to the side and arching a brow in challenge): That why it's just been me here for weeks? 'Cause she hasn't written a damn thing for you in a while. So now you gonna throw a fit about that?

[Frank shoves the front door open, stepping inside followed by Michael. Both men immediately glare at Jax comfortably resting on the couch, one of his shoes now perched on the coffee table. Frank’s eyes zero in on the shoe before he makes his way over, kicking it off with a booted foot.]

Frank (growling): She don't like shoes on the furniture, asshole. Stop fuckin' the place up.

Michael (speaking to Matt but glaring at Jax): This the bastard ya said been stayin' here while we were gone? Looks like a right prick.

Jax (expression darkening as he leans forward on the couch): Seems to me none of you fuckers were comforting enough over the past few weeks.

Frank (jaw tightening): Better watch your goddamn mouth, blondie.

Michael (glancing at Matt as he stalks his way to the couch beside Frank): The hell are ya wearin'? What happened to the red suit?

Matt (smirking and unphased): I'm doing something here, just trust me.

Frank (still focused on Jax): What makes you think you're so damn comforting? The fuck you know about the stress of raisin' kids?

Bella (rubbing my forehead as I make my way into the room): Would you all just quiet down? I've got a migraine that's been a persistent pain in my ass for over two and a half months and the yelling isn't helping. Also, Jax has two kids, Frank.

Michael (quirking a brow at me at the information): Ya really got a type there, don't ya, love?

Bella: Okay, ha ha, morally gray men are my weakness. Especially if they're dads. Now can y'all play nice while my brain tries to boot back up? It's been months since I've written or edited anything and the arguing isn't helping. So just, like, get comfortable with each other right now, alright?

Jax (smug as he puts a foot back up on the coffee table): Oh, I'm getting real nice and cozy, darlin'.

[Frank grunts and kicks his foot off the coffee table again.]

Frank: Watch it before I get curious to see how flammable your hair is.

Michael (resting a hand on Frank’s shoulder and shaking his head): Not helpin' things, Frank. Just ignore him.

Bella: Great. So just...play nice for a bit. Okay?

[All of them give each other unsteady looks, clearly knowing that's not about to happen.]

Bella (glancing over at Matt): And you just...stay in that.

Matt (a satisfied smirk curling up his lips): Sure thing, sweetheart.

[ineffablesuffering]

Sick Days (Aziraphale x Crowley x Reader)

I wrote this as a form of comfort as I am finally getting over this cold that I had.

Warnings: like one swear word, Crowley being soft for the reader

Pairing: Aziraphale x Crowley x Platonic!GN! Reader.

Word Count: 1,095

Masterlist

--------------

You lay in bed, the thought of moving was, to simply put it - unbearable. You had awoken with a pounding headache and felt like your sinuses were trying to escape from your face. Everything hurt and your body couldn't decide if it was too hot or too cold. Great. You were sick.

You had meant to have plans with Crowley and Aziraphale feeding the ducks in St James Park and a spot of lunch, but clearly that wasn't happening today. You sat up in bed and instantly the room starting spinning around you. You let out a deep cough and you whine at the feeling in your chest. You put a hand to your forehead to try and ground yourself as you reach for your phone before sliding back down into your bed. You had planned to call Aziraphale and tell him you couldn't make it, but the room kept spinning and forced you to close your eyes to make it stop.

The next thing you remember is your phone ringing a few hours later. "Shit," you mumble. You must have fallen back asleep. You pick up your phone, answer it and put it to your ear. "Hello?" you rasp.

"Y/N, I just wanted to see if we're on your way?" It was Aziraphale. You groan and turn to face your clock. You should have been at the bookshop by now. "My dear? Are you quite alright? You don't sound yourself." He asks.

"I'm sorry Aziraphale, I was meant to call you but I must have fallen back asleep, I'm not feeling too great." You rasp out, your throat feeling like it was on fire. "I'm not going to be able to make it today."

"Is that Y/N?," you hear Crowley shout in the background, "Tell them to hurry up, times a ticking."

You try to let out a laugh, but it ends with you in a coughing fit, wincing at the pain in your chest. "You two go on ahead without me, we'll catch up soon."

"Are you sure? We can always rearrange?"

"Aziraphale, I'll be fine," you say as another cough racks through your body, "I've been ill before."

"Well, make sure you rest and we will see you another time. I hope you feel better soon my dear,"

"Thank you 'Zira, I'll talk to you later," you say as you hang up the phone before placing it on your bedside table. You groan as you drag yourself out of bed, in search of water and hopefully some form of medication.

A short while later, you had decided that you couldn't sit in bed any longer and you were curled up on your sofa, watching your comfort show, eating your comfort food and taking small sips of some hot lemon and honey water when there was a knock at the door. You muted the TV, praying that whoever was knocking would go away. The knocking persisted.

"They're  probably asleep Angel," you heard a muffled Crowley. This got your attention and you made your way from the sofa to the door.

"Maybe, but I'd feel better if I just saw them." replied Aziraphale.

You open the door to find the angel and demon standing before you. They took in your disheveled state, your skin pale except from your blood shot eyes and your nose being red, your hair messy and a headache strip on your forehead, a blanket haphazardly wrapped around your shoulders and your comfy clothes on. A true sight for sore eyes.

"What are you two doing here?" Your voice quiet in an attempt to not irritate your throat even more.

"We came to check on you, and see how you're feeling." Aziraphale said, "We brought you supplies" he gestured to the bag that Crowely was holding.

"You really didn't have to," you say

"We know," said Crowley. You give him a small smile, "and don't think this is me being nice. I'm just following orders."

"I wouldn't dream of it." You say stepping aside inviting them in. Aziraphale smiled at you as he walked in, Crowley sauntered in behind him handing you the bag that he was holding.  You closed the door behind them and peer inside the bag.

"Jesus 'Zira, I have a cold, I'm not opening a bloody chemist." You say to him as he walks towards the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, taking the dishes you had left on the table with him.

"Well I didn't know what you needed, so I bought everything."

You smile at the gesture, he really was so thoughtful. You make your way back over to the sofa where Crowley had already made himself at home. You roll your eyes, expecting nothing less from him. He gives you a grin.

"Move over," you whine at him as he lounges across the entirety of the sofa.

"Or what," he says playfully.

"I'll cough all over you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Crowley, be nice." You hear Aziraphale call from the kitchen. He moves rather quickly.

"Bitched," you cough.

"Fuck off," he mumbles, throwing his sunglasses onto your coffee table. You take your place on the sofa next to Crowley, and lean your head on his shoulder. "Comfy?" he says with a smile. You nod against his shoulder as he wraps an arm around you.

"I hate being ill," you complain "everything hurts." Crowley just chuckles, giving you a squeeze. Aziraphale returns with two mugs in his hands. A cup of tea for himself, and a cup of green tea with lemon for you. "Thank you." You rasp as you take the mug off of him.

"Don't be silly," he tells you taking a seat beside you. "Just make sure you drink it while it's hot, it's supposed to help with your throat."

"Aye aye captain," you joke before a coughing fit racks through your body again. You feel Crowley run his hand up and down your back in an attempt to help soothe you. The couple shoot you a sympathetic glance when you're finally able to compose yourself again. "I'm fine, I'll be fine." You say picking up the TV remote and unmuting it. "And because you have crashed my pitty party you have to watch whatever movie I want to watch and I want to watch The Sound of Music." Crowley laughs from beside you as Aziraphale let's out the most unangellike groan. You smile at him, before finding the movie and pressing play. Maybe being ill wasn't so bad when you had your favourite celestials to keep you company.

[medakakurokami]

I finished over 100 visual novels, here’s a long post with some recommendations

Last month I hit 100 Finished VN’s over on the VNDB and I thought I’d shoot out some recommendations while the Steam Summer Sale is going on (even though some of these aren’t going to be on Steam)

I already have finished up some stragglers and caught some shorter titles so it’s up to 104 Finished, but all the better. I have been reading some VN’s since 2015, but it really became a hobby and a genre I was invested in during Covid lockdown in 2020. I had trouble getting into some of the popular titles, but a couple of games that were lesser known at that time really blew me away that year and I started digging more into the medium. I still have a lot to try out and other classics I’m still interested in trying, but here’s a top 10 I’m confident in recommending to most people, at least the kinda people that would follow this blog. A few of these recommendations are actually multi-part series, but hopefully accessible all around.

Planetarian ($10 on Steam and Switch, ~$5 on sale)

This is a very late entry onto this list but I think it’s an easy recommendation. This is a very short 2-4 hour visual novel that got a well received 2 hour movie adaptation in 2016, but it was strong enough that even while knowing the plot everything still hit hard. It is a story set 30 years after an apocalyptic event destroys most of the world, as a human junk-trader comes across a planetarium with a somehow-still-functional robot named Hoshino still performing her daily duties after 30 years without customers or coworkers. It can come across as a bit saccharine, but it is a quick, well made, and effective tearjerker.

Narcissu 1st & 2nd (Free on Steam)

Narcissu’s first two parts are pretty compelling stories to do with suicidal ideation within the scope of the terminally ill. Which is to say they’re also real tear jerkers, and pretty open about some harsh self-reflective emotions. They both have stellar endings, and can be quite immersive despite the very limited artwork (if the screencap looks weird, the game’s art exists within a narrow strip on the screen, with a sentence or two reading out the story underneath it). Maybe the least accessible on this list, but a $0 price tag makes it easier in some sense to get into.

Umineko no Naku Koro ni / When The Seagulls Cry (~$50 on Steam, $30 on sale)

Umineko you’ve probably already heard of, and here’s me recommending it. Umineko comes in two parts, on Steam referred to as the Questions Arc and the Answers Arc. Despite the split, the overall story follows the events of a certain day on Rokkenjima Island in 1986 as a family meets to discuss their inheritance and their family’s mysteries. Unbeknownst to them they are soon haunted, over and over again, by the revenant of the Golden Witch said to live in the woods of their family’s island.

I’m in the minority of preferring the Questions Arc, where well written and deeply human characters find themselves in deeply inhumane and nonsensical scenarios. The Answers Arc back seats some of that to start delving into an esoteric explosion of clues and backstories, and was still very entertaining even if I was more invested in the episodic stories than the overarching mystery. This may also be seen as inaccessible, $30-50 for a slightly older title and over 140 hours long on average playthroughs, but it is deeply absorbing.

Witch on the Holy Night a.k.a. Mahoyo ($40 on PS4 and Switch)

Mahoyo is me and Nasu’s marriage counselor, it really made me see the good in him. It follows a young witch co-habitating with her magic colleague and the puppy-like boy that unwittingly steps into their world at risk to his own life, just as unexplained apparent murders are witnessed in their town.

This could possibly be a higher level recommendation, though it was apparently intended to have sequels and you can somewhat feel that in the isolated feeling of its main conflict. Despite this, the game is definitely worth experiencing for its classy charm and extremely well made action sequences that at times make you forget you’re not watching a full anime film. It’s also a showcase of Nasu’s strengths in writing character interactions and comedy, and he finally lets Show take over and stops Telling you piles of mage society worldbuilding quite so often. It is also has some of the highest quality production value I’ve ever seen, second maybe to...

Marco and the Galaxy Dragon ($20 on Steam/Switch, less than $10 on sale)

Marco and the Galaxy Dragon is an explosive opera of art, energy, color, and of course music. It follows the orphaned Marco and her dragon compatriot Arco as they hunt for treasure across the cosmos, finding their way to Earth on the hunt for Marco’s mother.

If Umineko’s 140 hours seems steep, Marco has you covered with a quick 6 hour rundown of a rebellious orphan fighting back against her space alien menace to find her own sense of place and identity in the universe, along with ALL the friends she made along the way. If Mahoyo feels like an anime film sometimes, Marco actually just has fully animated FMV cutscenes that are fun as hell and have their own unique artstyle to the VN itself. Thousands of pieces of artwork and a 52-track OST fill the game’s short runtime with no cut corners and and overflow of passion from the devs. Honestly even if you don’t want to read it go buy it, it’s cheap and they earned it.

White Album 2 (You’ll have to be creative to find this one)

This is the only recommendation that’s currently only available in an adults only 18+ Rating for the English translation. That being said, it’s one of the few erotic VN’s that felt justified in its pornographic scenes. The story is split into two releases: Opening Chapter and Closing Chapter.

Opening is a short and powerfully delivered love triangle narrative following Haruki, Setsuna, and Touma as their hastily formed 3-man light music band falls into itself with feelings. It’s charming but gut wrenching and sweeps you into its drama very effectively before kicking you on your ass in the end.

Closing Chapter is a long and drawn out disassembling of their lives as they fail to heal from the wounds of the relationships seen in Opening. It, to great effect, takes the readers own experience with how fun and passionate the Opening Chapter was, and shows how trying to cling to halcyon days can make us so dispassionate about our present lives. Painful stuff! Good music, too.

The Princess, The Stray Cat, and Matters of the Heart 1 & 2

a.k.a. Noratoto ($40 on Steam for both, ~$15 for both on sale)

This is a very personal recommendation, and maybe one more easy to make on this blog where many of my followers might be receptive to sincere but slapstick ecchi comedy as art. Every route is highly different however and to me, some are pretty average for galge, while others stand out as amazing. The comedy writing as well feels like it was written by someone with actual comic writing experience, and not just regurgitating the usual ecchi manga jokes.

The general premise of Noratoto is the protagonist Nora, being transformed into a cat by Patricia the princess of the Netherworld, and he must reverse this curse via a kiss before it becomes permanent. A benign fairy tale premise, but one that somehow gives way to underlying stories about existence and finding purpose in families and where that leaves those without families or with abusive or divided families (it is from the same developers as Marco and the Galaxy Dragon, and the themes of finding identity without family match up very closely). Uniquely it is a visual novel written somewhat in 3rd person, narrated by a motherly voice as if the VN was being read to you as a bedtime story.

Like I said, it is dependent on route and some come across as your usual ecchi gal-game schtick, but some stick out, and if every route was as high quality as Nobuchina’s in the 2nd game, it would probably be my favorite visual novel.

The Original Ace Attorney Trilogy ($30 on most platforms, $10 on sale)

You’ve almost certainly heard of Ace Attorney already and have most likely played it. This is me telling any Ace Attorney fans reading that the original trilogy still reigns supreme (regardless of Turnabout Big Top). This is also me telling anyone who has held out on trying Ace Attorney to try it, and to start with the original trilogy.

Obviously this trilogy follows the Meme Man Himself, Phoenix Wright, as he defends the innocent and brings the guilty to justice acting as both lawyer and his own main investigator. While each case presents a unique mystery, the original trilogy has an underlying arc that reaches from beginning to end with a massive conspiracy that Phoenix has to breach to bring justice to the perpetrators and resolve the memory and regrets of his beloved mentor.

These games have some speedbumps as you may be banging your head against the wall trying to find the right evidence, but the experience that breaks through does so with gusto, succeeding on what it sets out to be: games that make you feel like you’ve brought justice to the world.

Utawarerumono Trilogy ($40/60 each on Steam, trilogy bundle $62 on sale)

Utawarerumono was my first proper visual novel, and it set the standards pretty high. I’ve posted about it several times in the last few years, and it remains one of my favorites. It is a labor of love on the part of the developers (the same developers as White Album 2), who developed the latter two games over the course of several years and have made this the spearhead of their company for the time being. Which makes sense, since it is about war.

The first game follows a masked man who is given the name Hakuoro waking up in a rural village with amnesia, confused about the strange population of beast-men living there. Despite not understanding his situation, his ingenuity brings the village prosperity. When the local lords try to put the village under their thumb, Hakuoro and the villagers are able to turn the tides against them. Their village grows into a kingdom as Hakuoro seeks the mysteries of himself and the world around him.

The latter two games pick up some twenty years after the conclusion of the first, and follow a man who is given the name Haku, waking up in the woods with amnesia confused about the... you get it. He is met by Kuon, a young girl on her way traveling to the capital of their nation of Yamato. Haku graciously accepts her help getting out of the cold woods, and decides to join her to the capital. As events play out, Haku finds himself under the direct command of the nation’s leader the Mikado, and carries out missions on his behalf as the nation continues to drag itself into war and conflict and Haku also seeks the truth of his identity.

These games are expansive in scope while still putting a large focus on the day-to-day lives of its characters. Around 100 hours across all three games it is impressive how much story it manages to fit in, but the pacing does bounce around between sweeping conflict and sleepy conversations. It is also in part, a strategy RPG game with the battles in the war being controlled by the player. These are decently made, especially well in the third game, but don’t ask too much of the player and the story remains the main focus and biggest portion of the runtime.

The House In Fata Morgana a.k.a. Fatamoru

($40 complete version on PS4/Switch, ~$40 main game + expansion on Steam)

I’ve gushed about this enough on this tumblr, I’ll keep it brief.

You are a formless soul who is led by the hand of a mysterious maid through the doors of a mansion on an unknown plane of existence. Through each door lies a story of the house in a different era, all following people bound together in ways that leave them cruelly and violently undone by the end of their stories. The connection between these stories, the mystery of the house and the supposed witch that resides within, and the mystery of You the wandering soul all slowly unravel in a bloody show of catharsis and soul. The game is dripping with traumatic poetic text, grating beautiful music, and all of its atmosphere geared toward being oppressive yet enticing. One of the best things I’ve read.

Honorable mentions:

Va-11 Hall-A and Endless Mondays get shout outs as some of the best Original English Language VN’s I’ve read, with cool artstyles and a mature cast they manage to be fun and relatable. Va-11 Hall-A delivers a great arc for its protagonist and Endless Mondays has great dialogue on the threat of automation of creative industries.

Grisaia Trilogy and Hatsumira are both absolutely raucous trilogies that are a lot of fun. Not wholly recommendable to all, Grisaia has some strong moments and a hilarious unique cast but is a mess overall (but we love Michiru). Hatsumira is a bit more consistent, a more stable and fantasy-oriented Grisaia.

A.I. The Somnium Files duology are detective games with highly divisive endings, but great comedy and characters that make them very easy to get through and enjoy the whole way to the end. It’s just a toss-up whether you’ll like that ending.

Sakura Wars games are finally being translated, and they are a great showing for anyone who wants to try some classic dating sim stuff but with some pizazz thrown in with the setting and mecha combat.

The Tears to Tiara duology by the same developers of Utawarerumono and White Album is also one to keep an eye out for. The first game's definitive version isn't available in English and the second game is stuck on the PS3 and no longer available digitally, but if they ever come out on Steam they are worth your time.

Nanairo Reincarnation and Kinkoi: Golden Loveriche are also two solid ecchi comedy galge. Both have surprisingly deep and genuinely heartbreaking underlying mysteries and conclusions.

I still have a lot I wanna read, Planetarian is the only Key novel I’ve read. On the docket are Labyrinth of Galleria, Little Busters, the 9 -nine- series, and Kara no Shoujo and White Album 1 releasing on Steam this year. Some classics I didn’t mention are Fate/Stay Night, Muv Luv, Steins Gate. Muv Luv I read Extra and enjoyed it, but never pulled the trigger on reading the rest, I may at some point on a whim. Steins;Gate I played through half of on PS3 and now my PS3 is in the closet, the VN is really good and has a unique atmosphere to the anime, buuuuuuut knowing the plot has made it hard to want to restart on PC or another console. Steins;Gate is good, if anyone is reading this far and hasn’t seen the anime or read the VN, do it.

[l0serloki]

Bar Fun

Being new around town and meeting Ashe & Cass!

A/N : Im merely a ghost you dont see me posting. But for real, I know it's been a while LOL.. Ive been getting better from my illnesses! Hopefully more writing soon.

masterlist

Ashe :

When Ashe spotted you she immediately didn’t recognize you. She didn’t take kindly to newcomers in her bar spot.

Though you were.. attractive. It wouldn’t hurt for her to get some intel.

You weren’t what she was expecting. And in a good way. She was more than fine with letting you take her seat as long as she continued to learn about you.

“The usual, Martin.” A voice sounded next to you, her red eyes moving to look at you. You had to admit, she was much different than a lot of the other folks in the saloon. A sight for sore eyes compared to the depressed alcoholics gambling away their lives.

“And you are?” She points over and you can feel your eyes widening.

“Y/N. Just arrived here last week.” 

The white haired woman just nods as she grabs the glass that was slid over to her.

“Ashe. Leader of the Deadlock Gang.” She looked over you meticulously, almost like she was seeing through your soul. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

“A pleasure.” You say quickly. She just nods and takes a sip of her whiskey.

“I’m sure it is. You play any cards?” Her fingers brushed yours for a moment as she set the nice glass down. 

“I can.” You said confidently. Hell you had won against some of the backwoods people filling out the bar in the past few days. She seemed to like your answer as she waved her hand, a few people moving around to set up the table behind you

“Let’s have some fun then, newbie.”

Cassidy :

Cass was shocked to see someone had taken his seat. And such a good looking person at that.

“You know that’s my seat, sweetheart?” With a cocky ass smile and pat to the shoulder.

He will automatically begin chatting up a storm as he buys you both drinks. He makes it painfully obvious he’s interested. After all, where’s the fun in waiting?

“Well isn’t this somethin.. You know that’s my seat sweet thing.” A man moves around your seat at the bar, his hand brushing against your shoulder before sliding in next to you.

“Oh really?” You raised an eyebrow as the cowboy grinned, motioning over the barista. 

“Yeah but it’s alright. I don’t mind you sitting in it. Gives me a nice view. Whatcha want?” He points over to the assortment of alcohol. You give him your order and he barks at the bartender before looking back at you.

“You look much nicer than a lot of folk that come in here. Mind givin me a name? Or maybe somethin more?” He teases out and you have to laugh at his audacity.

“Y/N.” You roll your eyes and he nudges your shoulder.

“Ain’t that a pretty name. I’m sure we’re gonna get along well. Why don’t I show you the pool table? Or maybe even the back part of the saloon?” His hand tests the waters as he moves it across your shoulders. 

“We can do some pool. Then we’ll see about out back.” You couldn’t help the giddy feeling from the attention. Who knew there could be such charming strangers at this rundown bar?

[writinginatree]

Loss

Relationship(s): John Wick & daughter!reader, Helen Wick & daughter!reader, John Wick/Helen Wick

Summary: After John and his daughter Y/N retire from the killing business, the girl starts having brutal nightmares about Helen dying, because now that she got a mom she's scared to lose her again. And then she does lose her. But not the way she thought.

Warnings: Nightmares, mentions of canon-typical violence, terminal illness and hospitals, (canonical) character death, grief, implied selective mutism.

John is woken up by a scream, and immediately reaches for a gun which isn't there. No deadly weapons in the house (except, of course, for the ones hidden away hopefully forever under the basement floor) — that's something they had agreed on when they moved into the place. Baba Yaga is no more, that life is behind him, and while Helen knows and accepts his past, she would certainly not have been thrilled if he'd continued to sleep with a gun under his pillow as had been his habit for many years. He didn't want to, anyway. Doing so would be paranoid. It would make him feel like he was inviting his old life to come back and haunt him.

So, no gun. But now, jumping out of bed to follow the scream to his daughter's room, he's wishing he had one.

He throws the door open with so much force it slams against the wall, and storms in. He flicks on the light, but the yellow glow doesn't reveal any intruders like he expected. The room is empty, save for Y/N, who is sitting up in bed now.

No need for a gun after all. Thank God.

John takes a deep breath and forces his racing heart to calm down as he walks to the bed and sits down next to his crying daughter. "Hey, what's wrong? You were screaming."

Helen appears in the doorway too now, and instead of answering, Y/N jumps up and throws herself into her stepmother's arms. Helen makes a surprised sound, but quickly wraps her arms around the girl and holds her close.

"I dreamed you died," she says after a few seconds, her voice shaky and muffled by Helen's shirt.

John hasn't seen her this upset in years, not since she was a very small child. Growing up in the criminal underworld made her tough, and while she occasionally gets nightmares, none of them ever affected her like this before.

He's not sure how to handle it, but luckily Helen seems to have everything under control.

She leads the crying girl back to the bed, still holding her close, and sits down close beside John with Y/N on her lap. His heart grows warm with adoration at how easily she's taking to the role of a mother, the way she's always so concerned for the girl and cares for her like she was her own.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Helen says. "I'm here, honey. We're both here."

"I k-know. I know it— it's stupid, 'm sorry."

Y/N is forcing back her tears and smiles up at her mother, but she can fool neither her nor John. It's obvious she's shaken by the dream a lot more than she wants to admit, which in turn unsettles John. As far as he's aware this is the first time a nightmare has actually affected her. She gets them sometimes, of course — how could she not, growing up surrounded by so much death and violence? — but they've never bothered her.

"It's not stupid. Not at all. I know nightmares can feel very real sometimes. Do you want to tell us about it?"

"I dunno. I think we were in the city somewhere, but it was all d-dark and there were all these people hiding in the shadows. And then one of them came and shot you and— and I was too slow to do anything."

She starts crying again as she's talking, and John wraps his arms around both her and Helen, who's still holding her on her lap. He knows words can't make her feel better right now; he can only shush her and rub her back as he waits for her to calm down.

She does soon enough, after all she has the selfcontrol of a killer.

She lifts her head from the crook of Helen's neck and turns to look up at John, her eyes so big and innocent you'd never guess the horror's they've seen, wiping the tears from her cheeks and sniffling. "Sorry. I'm fine, really. I guess 'm just scared that we haven't actually made it out and that someone's gonna hurt mom."

Her arms tighten around Helen's waist as she says it; John doubts she's even aware of the action.

He nods. "I get that. But that's not going to happen. We're safe. It was just a dream."

Y/N sniffles again and moves closer to him, while still holding on to Helen at the same time. "I know. I just never had a nightmare that felt like this before."

John nods again. Her bad dreams he knows about are usually about people she killed or watched die. Things she already dealt with when awake, nothing out of the ordinary for her, which he can only suppose to be the reason these dreams never seem to bother her. Dreaming about losing her newly acquired mother, on the other hand, is understandably worse. As far as he knows she's never had nightmares about anyone killing — or trying to kill — him or herself. Probably because she thinks he's invincible. Plenty of people have tried to kill him before, but all of them failed. With Helen it's different. God knows he understands why Y/N is scared someone would try and hurt her. She's not a trained killer like them. She's vulnerable. And losing her would kill them both.

They sit in silence for a couple of minutes, John and Helen holding their daughter tightly to give her all the comfort they can.

Eventually Helen leaves the room to make a cup of warm milk with honey to help Y/N fall back asleep, and the way she looks after her, like she fears she'll never return, doesn't escape John. He brushes a hand over her hair and takes one of hers with the other.

"No one will hurt her," he promises. "We've left that life behind. And even if anyone tried — we wouldn't let them get her, would we?"

"No!"

"Exactly. So you don't need to worry, okay?"

His daughter nods, but the fear lingers behind her eyes all the same. John can't think of anything he could say to truly reassure her — not when he secretly shares her fears, not when he has no idea what life will bring — so he just pulls her into his arms and keeps stroking her hair until Helen comes back with the milk.

The next three nights Y/N sleeps undisturbed by nightmares, holding on tight to a stuffed animal Helen gifted her a while ago, and John is almost convinced it won't happen again, that it was a one-time occurrence caused by something triggering her unspoken fears, but then the next night she appears in their bedroom with tears streaming down her face, shaking him awake.

It's 2:41 and John doesn't have to ask why she's awake. She's shaking like a leaf, sobbing as quietly as she can, and he knows this dream was even worse than the last one.

He wordlessly pulls her into a hug with one arm, reaching to turn on the lamp on his nightstand with the other. If it wakes Helen up, then so be it. He'd rather let her sleep, but on the other hand, if the nightmare was about her again Y/N might calm down faster if Helen is awake to help comfort her.

Y/N is sobbing into his shirt, close to hyperventilating, and he's just thinking he'll have to wake Helen because all his efforts of soothing the girl are fruitless, when she starts to stir on her own.

Unlike John with his killer instincts she's not instantly wide awake, and sleepily asks what's wrong. She answers her own question a second later, when her tired mind catches up with the sight of the crying girl before her. "Another nightmare?"

"Yeah. She hasn't said about what yet."

He doubts she could speak even if she wanted to; she's too busy trying to get air into her lungs between sobs.

Helen nods and wastes no time sitting up in bed and scooting over to him and Y/N. She takes the girl's hand into her own and holds it tight to let her know she's there.

Just as John hoped it seems to help, because a few minutes and many soothing words from her parents later, Y/N has finally calmed down enough to turn in her father's arms and reach for Helen. He's almost sure the dream must have been about her again, that feeling her mother's warm skin against her own helps Y/N because it's proof she's alive and well — better proof than just seeing her sleeping form beside him.

"Better?" Helen asks, and Y/N nods, leaning her head back against John's chest and closing her eyes, while a few last tears run down her cheeks. She goes to say something, but doesn't bring out more than a whimper.

John hugs her tighter. "Shh, it's okay. Take your time. You can tell us when you're ready."

He takes the glass of water he has on his bedside table and hands it to her, steadying her shaking hand with his own as she raises it to her lips so she doesn't spill it.

After she drank, she hides her face against him again, and after a moment she says, "I dreamed Viggo wanted you to come back and kill for him, and when you didn't want to he tortured mom to death to make me do it instead."

"Oh, baby. You know I'd never let something like that happen, don't you?" John asks, and hugs her even tighter.

He feels her nod, the wetness of her tears smearing on his neck.

Her breathing is finally back to normal; she's calming down for real, even if the tears are still flowing. John carefully lies down, bringing Y/N with him and laying her close beside him so she rests between him and Helen, her face still buried in the crook of his neck. He doesn't have the heart to send her back to her own bed.

Helen lies back down too, hugging the girl from behind, and with the comfort of both her parents' warm bodies beside her, Y/N eventually manages to fall asleep again.

Meanwhile John lies awake, listens to her and Helen's soft breathing, and worries.

The nightmares never stop. They don't come regularly, but every so often John and Helen are woken up by screams from Y/N's room, or by the girl padding into their room in the dark hours after midnight. The dreams are never quite the same, but all are about Helen dying a brutal death at the hands of people from John's former field of work. The years go by and the nightmares occur less and less often. Sometimes there's months between them, as Y/N finally starts to believe they've truly left the past behind, that she won't lose her mother.

And then Helen gets sick.

Disaster creeps up on them slowly. At first it doesn't seem like anything serious, and they don't tell Y/N, thinking there's no need to unnecessarily worry her. Helen goes to the doctor for regular checkups to make sure it's not getting worse, and it isn't.

Until suddenly it is, and she collapses out of nowhere.

Y/N holds it together surprisingly well at first, too occupied with trying to help to have a meltdown. She stays calm when Helen collapses, stays calm all the way to the hospital. The only sign of distress she lets on is the way she's clutching Helen's hand so tight her own knuckles are turning white.

But the second her mother is out of her sight, wheeled away on a stretcher for throughout examination, she breaks down sobbing in John's arms. He tells her it'll be fine, the doctors will help her. Helen is going to be okay.

She has to be okay, he tells himself, because what would they do without her?

Y/N isn't reassured, even if she does calm down after a while.

When the doctor comes back with a bad diagnosis and a worse prognosis she turns to John and silently cries into his chest.

But when they finally let them go see Helen in the hospital room they've given her, she puts on a brave face for her mother and only lets a single tear fall.

That night she doesn't sleep at all, and neither does John. After the nurses more or less throw them out because visiting hours are over, they drive home in silence; once there, Y/N wordlessly curls up in her parents' bed with her face buried in Helen's pajama shirt she fished out of the laundry basket, and refuses to move or speak. She doesn't acknowledge John lying down next to her, only keeps staring at the wall with empty eyes. When he tells her she should try to get some sleep and starts singing a lullaby she just shakes her head and pushes away his hand stroking her hair.

Then she starts crying again, and so does he.

They visit Helen at the hospital every day, spend as much time there as the hospital staff will allow, and watch as she gets weaker with every day that goes by, until it gets to the point that Helen tells him not to let Y/N see her like that.

It only takes a breakdown in the hallway and John telling her she's breaking the girl's heart to change her mind, and when Y/N finally gets her daily hug from her mom that day, she spends almost half an hour crying in her arms.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just don't want you to remember me like this when I'm gone," Helen tells her, trying to explain she was hoping to ease the heartbreak and not make it even more painful, but Y/N only grows more upset.

"Don't say that; you're not gonna die! You can't. We need you, mom! We need you!"

Helen only presses her tighter against herself and stays silent. The way she looks at John has him fighting back tears of his own. She knows she will die, nothing can change that. She tells him so much without uttering a single word; all her love for him and his daughter, her regret that she has to leave them, certainty that they will be fine when she's gone.

He wants to believe it, but he can't.

When Helen eventually slips into a coma and the only thing keeping her alive are the machines she's hooked up to, all hope is gone. As bad a state as Helen was in, there was still that tiny sliver of irrational hope that she would get better somehow. Reality sets in like a slap to the face. She's not going to wake back up, isn't going to survive. If they turn off the life support she'll be gone forever.

Somehow Y/N, who has been insisting that Helen will be okay, that she isn't allowed to leave them, accepts faster than him that this really is the end. Though 'accepting' in this case means crying for two days straight and refusing to speak.

They visit Helen anyway, watch over her lifeless body and hold her limp hands. She looks so calm, like she's just sleeping and all they'd have to do to get her back is shake her hard enough. Y/N tried it, when Helen first fell into the coma. It was useless, of course. But while she finally accepts that they have to let her go, John is paralyzed with fear at the thought of turning off the life support and letting her go. He knows she's practically dead already, but turning off the only thing keeping her body alive feels like killing her.

But life has to go on, for his daughter's sake, if not for his own, so he finally brings himself to do it.

The funeral is hell. Neither John nor Y/N cry; they've cried endless tears before it and they will cry more later, but neither of them are comfortable breaking down in front of the strangers that are Helen's extended family. John thinks the dark circles under Y/N's bloodshot eyes speak more than loud enough to make up for her lack of words or tears.

When Helen was admitted to hospital, Y/N started to talk less and less, until eventually she hardly spoke at all. Now that Helen is dead, she's down to a handful of words a day — if John can get her to say anything at all, that is. Truth be told he doesn't feel like talking either, but he has to try and hold it together so he can hold Y/N together. Before Helen came he was the only family she had — not counting the ruska roma, because their idea of family had nothing to do with love or care — so she's never experienced the loss of a loved one, and it's taking an obvious toll on her.

She copes by withdrawing into herself. Sometimes she comes to John and cries in his arms, but more often she wants to be alone. It worries John, but he doesn't know what to do about it. It's not like he can force her to let him be there for her.

After the funeral, when the house is filled with people she doesn't know, she sticks to his side for a little while, holding his hand as she follows him around like a smaller shadow. Eventually she gets tired and settles into a corner of the living room, while John stares out the window and reminisces.

Little more than five years, that's all the time the universe granted him with Helen. It wasn't long enough, that's all he can think. Not nearly long enough. And there's no one he can blame for her loss, so naturally he blames himself. He could have protected her from any outside harm, could have fought off anyone trying to hurt her, but he couldn't do anything to save her from the illness turning her own body against her. He could blame the doctors, but he knows they tried everything they could. Maybe this is retribution for everything he's done, all the people he killed...

His daughter's voice yelling, "I said don't touch me!" rips him out of his thoughts, and he turns away from the window just in time to see her slap away the arm of a woman trying to hug her. A younger cousin or something of Helen's, he thinks, but he's not sure. He hardly knows most of the people who came for the funeral.

Y/N dashes up the stairs to hide in her room.

The woman shakes her head with a pitiful expression, and he hears someone mutter, "Poor thing."

He feels eyes boring into him, and knows an apology for his daughter's behavior is expected, but he can't bring himself to give it. She's done nothing wrong. This grief she has to deal with is new to her, and she doesn't want the comfort of strangers. She hardly even accepts his comfort when he offers it.

When she still hasn't come back down twenty minutes later, he goes to her room with the intention to ask her if she won't please come back down, but when he finds her not in her own room but in a corner of the bedroom, curled up on the floor and sobbing into one of Helen's shirts, with the teddy she got from her clutched to her chest, he knows there's no use.

He approaches her carefully, like one would a hurt animal, and sits next to her with enough space that she won't feel cornered. "Hey honey. What are you doing on the ground?"

She looks up at him but doesn't answer. Of course he doesn't really need an answer, it's obvious enough what she's doing. Just another failed attempt to get her to talk again.

"You wanna stay up here till everyone's left?"

She nods.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay with you?"

This time she shakes her head, and John can't tell if it's because she wants to be alone or because she knows he should be downstairs with his late wife's relatives.

He sighs. "Alright. If you need anything send me a text then I'll come, okay?"

She nods again. With another sigh John leans down to press a kiss to her forehead, and leaves her be, making sure his phone is in his pocket and on vibrate as he heads back to the living room.

He's glad when everyone has finally left, and quickly starts tidying up. He never knew just how tiring funerals can be, and can't wait to just sit down and mourn his wife in peace. Maybe cuddle with Y/N a little; he really shouldn't let her hide away all by herself so much.

The doorbell rings.

When he opens, a delivery person hands him a pet carrier. He mechanically signs for it, too exhausted to question who sent it, or why. Taking it into the living room he grabs the envelope laying on top and takes out the card inside.

He opens it, and tears spring to his eyes when he recognizes Helen's handwriting.

'John,' the card reads, 'I'm sorry I can't be there for the both of you. I know you'll need something to help you bring back Y/N's smile, something for her to love. So let her start with this, because your car doesn't count. Don't let her bury away her feelings for fear of more pain. And don't you do it, either. Take care of each other. I love you, John. This illness has loomed over us for a long time, and now that I have found my peace, find yours. Until that day, your best friend, Helen.'

John presses the card to his face and cries. He thinks there's a faint trace of Helen's favorite perfume on the paper, but that's probably just his imagination.

When he calms down he sees there's a second card, addressed to Y/N, and he puts it aside for her to read later.

Finally he turns his attention to the puppy. It has lain down in the box, seemingly resigned to whatever fate awaits it, and looks up at him with its big dark eyes when John reaches out to open the carrier. He gently takes the tiny dog in his hands and lifts it from the crate, holding it up in front of him so he can look at the name tag on the collar it's wearing.

Daisy. Of course. It's so typically Helen he almost starts crying again.

After taking a deep breath and wiping the tears from his face he calls for Y/N.

She takes her time, and John is about to call her again when she finally shuffles into the room, a big fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders trailing on the floor behind her, her eyes red from crying.

When she sees the dog she freezes. "What—?"

"It's a gift from Helen. I guess she wanted to make sure we don't get too lonely without her. Come here."

Once she sat down beside him, John moves the dog to Y/N's lap.

"Her name's Daisy."

She stares at the puppy with wide eyes, then back at John. Her bottom lip is trembling when she asks, "Did mom name her that?"

"Yeah."

Finally Y/N starts petting her, bringing her hand to the puppy's head so slowly and carefully like she's scared she'll break her.

She smiles at Daisy when she nuzzles against her hand. It's small, hardly more than the hint of a smile, she's crying again, the circles under her eyes are darker than ever against her pasty skin, and her lips are chapped and dry from crying so much, but none of that matters, because for the first time in what feels like an eternity she's smiling. A small smile, but real.

When her eyes shift to him, John realizes he's crying again too, except these are tears of relief, because it's been too long since he's seen a sincere smile on his daughter's face.

He pulls her into a hug, careful not to squeeze the dog, who's now licking Y/N's face. Apparently her tears taste good, because Daisy just keeps licking them, and Y/N giggles. She giggles. Just for a second, then she starts sobbing all the harder, but the sound is music to John's ears all the same.

Daisy starts whining, probably confused because being held by a sobbing girl isn't something she's experienced in her short life so far.

John waits, hopes for a reaction from Y/N, who has been apathetic to the world around her for too long, hopes the dog will draw her out of her shell.

He's not disappointed.

She draws back from the hug a little so she can lift Daisy and press her face into her fur, whispering something too quiet for John to hear. Whatever it is she said, it seems Daisy understands. She stops whining, and licks Y/N's face again.

When she sets her down on her lap, the dog turns and stands on her hind legs to try and lick John's face too.

He leans back to try and escape the wet dog kisses. "Hey, no. Don't do that."

Daisy stays stubborn, so he gently pushes her back toward his daughter, who seems to enjoy getting dog slobber all over her face.

When John goes to bed, Y/N is already curled up on it with Daisy, both of them sleepy-eyed and barely awake. He looks pointedly at the blanket he laid out for the dog beside the bed, but doesn't scold them. He's glad how quickly Daisy won the girl's heart, and doesn't want to disturb their peaceful cuddling session. If Y/N wants the dog to sleep in bed, then the dog will sleep in bed. He admittedly doesn't actually mind the idea himself, even if he's pretty sure dogs aren't supposed to be sleeping in their owners' beds.

He gets into bed and Y/N snuggles against his side, soon falling asleep.

She's lying on her back, her head turned toward him, Daisy on her chest. The hand that isn't holding the sleeping dog is balled into his shirt, like even in her dreams she's afraid she'll lose him, too, if she lets go. Despite that, she's doing a lot better than just a day before.

The past weeks, ever since Helen was admitted to hospital, she cried herself to sleep every night, sometimes in his and Helen's bed, sometimes in her own, and John knows it's the dog that helped her fall asleep peacefully tonight. He silently thanks Helen for being so foresightful, for knowing them so well, knowing what they'd need. The loss of her still hurts more than any physical pain he's ever been in, but he's starting to believe that maybe it doesn't have to destroy him. Maybe they can get through this. It won't be easy, but maybe they can continue to live this peaceful normal life even without Helen. That's why she sent them Daisy to guide their way. So they don't tumble back into darkness without her.

He silently promises her he'll do his best to keep Y/N and Daisy happy and safe, and maybe, with time, even be happy again himself. He knows that's what she'd want.

[sassyduckqueen]

Miraculous: Rise of Anatis 78

Well, I finished this a bit quicker then I thought. Work has calmed down now that the Christmas holidays are over so hopefully I'll have more time. Lies is next and will probably be very loosely based on the episode and then it will be Truth. Anyway, enjoy and I hope everyone had a great Christmas and new year :D

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Chapter Seventy-Eight: Gang of Secrets (1/3)

"Young Master, are you ok?" Vernn asked as Luka read over some of the grimoire notes for the sixth time. The sandwich on the side had barely been touched and he had barely left his room. Only really leaving to deal with either an akuma or to use the bathroom. He had told his mother that he was really sick and hadn't even gone to school. The kwamis had noticed that he hadn't even answered his phone or anything. It had been almost a week since he lost Master Mila and Master Fu and while he claimed he was ok, it was becoming clear that he really wasn't. Lady Noir had noticed as well and she let him know that he could open up to her but he didn't. The Kwamis suspected that maybe he felt like he shouldn't but they weren't sure. It didn't help that he hadn't been assigned a new therapist yet. Because of the previous events, Dr Mila had been reported missing and her clients were being assigned new therapists but it was taking its time. Luka couldn't help but feel guilty. He wanted to tell someone she was dead but he also knew it would open a whole can of worms as he would have to explain why there wasn't a body, why she had been killed in the first place and why she wasn't who she said she was. If he had the peacock miraculous, he would easily be able to make a fake and create a story that wouldn't complicate things and that would allow her to have a burial but because Hawkmoth had it, he couldn't do that.

"Young Master?" Nepp asked, flying next to Vernn. Luka blinked and looked over at them. "Are you ok? You haven't touched your sandwich,"

"Hm? Oh," He mumbled quietly before glancing at his sandwich. "I'm not that hungry,"

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon, young master," Bennu declared, flying over. "So at least try to eat half,"

Luka sighed before picking up the sandwich and slowly eating it. He knew the Kwamis were right and he wasn't surprised that those three had taken to trying to look after him. It was almost like Toutai, Alpheus and Sir Rene were speaking. Their kwamis had similar personalities. He wondered if Khnurn's kwami was similar to him. Stingg flew over and landed in front of him, making him glance at him.

"Y-your phone has being going off as well," He whispered, making Luka nod and pick it up. Of course, his friends had messaged him and naturally Marinette had messaged him the most. He sighed as guilt began to creep up on him. He hadn't been a very good boyfriend recently. He was barely talking and just claiming that he was ill but she wasn't stupid. She knew something was up. Juleka and his ma knew as well yet he felt like he couldn't tell any of them. How could he explain that he had lost two people without revealing who he is? And it's not like he could risk that. If he told Marinette then Lady Blanche would return and he wasn't going to let that happen. He opened Marinette's text and read it.

Melody:

11.30am: Hey, I hope you're doing ok and taking care of yourself. It always sucks being sick so maybe I can bring some of your favorite snacks from the Bakery after school if you want. Love you xxx

1.01pm: Lunch time! I'll pop by the Liberty with some yummy snacks. See you soon xx

1.30pm: I'm here! xx 

1.45pm: The captain said you're asleep so I'm just gonna chill with Juleka and Rose. Rest up and get better soon. Miss you xxx

2.42pm: Have to go back to school so I've left the snacks on the side for you. Sleep well and I'll text you later. Love you xxx

6.04pm: Well, school day is officially over and Felix invited everyone to have dinner at his. He's doing a lot better now that he's out of the hospital and he said if you feel up to it, we can drop by and pick you up. Don't worry if you don't though ok? Let me know xxx

Luka sighed as he read through the messages. Marinette had clearly tried to spend time with him, despite him being 'sick' and he had just ignored her all day. He felt guilty and he knew he didn't deserve her. He opened the text keyboard and began to type.

7.23pm, L: Hey sorry I haven't messaged all day. I've being asleep for most of the day so I'm sorry for missing you at lunch. Sadly, I don't feel any better at all. I'll try and be a bit more responsive though so you don't have to worry. Hope you guys had a good time at Felix's and hopefully I can join in when I feel better too. I miss you. xxx

7.26pm, M: Hey we had fun and it's ok. I'd rather you rest and get better then feel you need to message me all the time. Your health is important and if you need to rest then you need to rest ^.^ of course, once you're better, I'm gonna give you lots of hugs and kisses xxx

7.28pm: hugs and kisses sound so good. I wish I could have them now but I don't want you to catch whatever I have. Can't have my favourite melody out of commission now, can I? Are you still working on that dress? xxx

7.31pm: Oh I finished it a couple of days ago and it's being sent off. I can't believe people still want my designs still ^-^ did you get the snacks I left? xxx

7.33pm: Not yet. I'll go get them now xxx

Luka put his phone down and wandered out of his room before finding the snacks she left on the table in a bag. He opened it and smiled as he saw she had put his favorite baked goods in there before he headed back to his room. Juleka was probably upstairs with Rose and he wasn't sure where his Ma was but he went back to his room and texted Marinette again.

7.39pm: Got them. They look yummy. Thank you xxx

7.42pm: No problemo XD I've got homework to do so I'll let you go for a bit and maybe you can eat those snacks if you feel up for it and then relax or rest if you need it. Love you, Lu. xxx

7.44pm: That sounds good to me. Hopefully, your homework won't be too annoying. Love you too, Mari. xxx

He put his phone down before looking at the snacks she had brought. They were all his favorites so he slowly picked one up and began to eat it before the akuma alarm went off. He sighed and put down the pastry before turning to Tikki.

"Time to work," He sighed as she nodded and he looked at the other kwamis. "You lot stay here ok?"

"Yes, Luka!" They chimed as he nodded and swiped his earrings.

"Tikki, spots on!"

~Four Days Later~

"So Luka has being acting odd recently," Adrien declared as Marc, Felix, Ivan, Rose and Juleka sat around him. Mylene had joined them, sitting on Ivan's lap and Marinette was also sat there, frowning as she listened. Juleka had invited her to the 'help Luka' intervention group meeting and while she wasn't going to go originally, after barely talking to him again yesterday, she decided to go. She had being surprised to see Adrien there in the lead but as it turned out, he had a rare day off. For some reason, his father was willing to let him enjoy his day. Adrien had explained he was 'in high spirits' compared to normal. "He's not turning up to school or band practice. He's claiming he is sick yet Juleka, Rose, Ivan and the Captain haven't caught any illness,"

"He's talking to himself a lot," Juleka mumbled. "I hear him at night and he seems to be having more nightmares. He's barely eating and he quit his job as a delivery boy. His boss contacted Ma to see if he was ok as it was unexpected. Ma and I didn't even know he had quit and when she tried to ask him why, he didn't let her into his room. Didn't even open his door and just said he was 'too busy' for it,"

Everyone frowned as all of what Juleka had said seemed extremely out of character for Luka. Marinette seemed to be the most affected as she frowned deeply.

"He quit his job?" She asked, making Juleka nod. "He didn't tell me. I know he hasn't been talking to me a lot but I would have thought he would have told me that but he didn't. I'm worried about him,"

"If he isn't sick then what is happening?" Felix asks, frowning. Despite being his friend, Luka had even stopped visiting him in hospital and hadn't come round in ages.

"He sounds depressed," Marc stated, making everyone look at him. He cringed at their looks but continued. "A sickness that isn't visible. Ignoring family, friends and his girlfriend. Quitting his job. Refusing to go to school or even come out of his room. Barely eating. That sounds like depression to me,"

"Marc may be on to something," Felix confirmed. "Mother went through a very similar thing when Father died. She barely saw anyone and locked herself away but the question is what caused Luka to sink into this depression?"

"Maybe he has lost someone?" Ivan stated, making everyone look at him. "Felix just said it himself. His mum got depressed when his dad died so maybe someone Luka cares about has died,"

"But surely, Juleka and the captain would have grief too," Adrien gasped as everyone frowned but that's when Marinette shook her head.

"Maybe it's someone they don't know,"

"No one close to our family has died," Juleka confirmed. "... but Luka is supposed to be getting a new therapist. Dr Mila has gone missing. Maybe it was that?"

"Yes, I'm on the same page," Felix confirmed. "Maybe he thinks she's dead? He is a sensitive soul after all,"

"Regardless of what it is, we should let him know that he's not alone right now and that we're here for him," Adrien declared, making them nod. "Which brings us to the purpose of the meeting. We need ideas to help cheer up Luka and let him know that we're there for him. Any ideas?"

"Ooh, we could make him some cards and put lovely messages in them and then cover them in glitter!" Rose gasped, making Adrien nod.

"Why don't we write him some short stories?" Marc suggested.

"Or we could write him a song?" Ivan added in, making Marc nod.

"I could bring him some more snacks from the bakery," Marinette smiled. "That way he can eat something,"

"I could ask Uncle Jagged to come say hi," Juleka mumbled. Since he wasn't her dad, she had taken to calling him Uncle instead. He had told her it was ok to see him as her dad as well but she wasn't quite ready for that yet. "Maybe Penny could come by as well and bring Fang with them. Luka loves petting Fang,"

"I could give some math problems to work out," Felix suggested, making everyone look at him. "Uncle says Math problems keep the brain healthy,"

"Maybe no to the maths," Adrien replied as Mylene took out a bracelet.

"We could give him this," She states. "It's a secret bracelet. You hold a bead and give it a secret in your mind then put it together. Once given to the chosen person, they are able to give it their secret and feel lighter but also feel connected to those who gave their other secrets. It may help him with this depression and help him feel like he isn't alone,"

"Oooh that's cute!" Rose declared as everyone else nodded. Marinette couldn't help but nod as well. "We should do all of those things!"

"Though starting with the bracelet may be the easiest since baking goods and writing songs would take a while," Marinette pointed out. "That way he won't feel alone while we make some other stuff for him,"

"Yes, let's do that," Adrien grinned, making the others agree. "He's at home now right?"

"Yeah," Juleka confirmed. "I can text him if you want,"

"Yeah," Adrien nodded as the others nodded. Juleka took out her phone and texted but Luka didn't reply straight away and when he finally did, he said he didn't want to see anyone. She frowned but Adrien wasn't willing to give up. He declared that they would go there anyway. Marinette frowned and shook her head, making him look at her with confusion.

"If he doesn't want company then we shouldn't force it on him," She explained, making Felix nod in agreement. "Like I want him to feel better but his boundaries are important too,"

"I agree with Marinette," Felix replied as Juleka's phone pinged. "Is it him?"

"He said that he'll only see Marinette," She mumbled, making Marinette nod.

"I'll go over and see him," She declared, getting up and leaving the classroom. Adrien frowned deeply, along with Rose, Mylene, Ivan and Marc.

"Well, we can go to the Liberty anyway," Juleka mumbled, causing everyone to nod and leave the room as well. Marinette, however, was already ahead of them and speed-walking to the boathouse. She got there faster than normal and quickly greeted the Captain before going to Luka's room. The door was completely closed, making her frown as usually it was a little open. Enough for privacy but not to be closed off. She walked over and gently knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" He asked, making her frown. His voice was quieter than usual and he didn't listen to her heart song like normal. Usually, he would know she was there before she even knocked.

"It's me," She answered before hearing a shuffle and the door opened. He peeked out, making her frown as she saw his eyes were full of sorrow and red as if he had been crying. "Luka..."

He opened the door and let her in, causing her to step into his room. Almost instantly, he hugged her. She hugged him back as he gently pressed his nose into her neck.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled, making her frown. "I haven't been a very good boyfriend recently. If you don't want to stay here or with me, I understand,"

"Hey, don't talk like that," She gasped, making him look at her. "I'm here because I want to be and I'm not going to leave you just because you're having a bad time. My love is not that shallow or fragile but why didn't you want to see the others?"

"I.. I just can't deal with people right now," He explained, frowning. "I can't help but wonder if being human is worth it,"

"What do you mean?" She frowned. The way he spoke didn't sound like the Luka she knew. He sounded broken. "Luka... what happened?"

"I... I can't tell you," He whispered, stepping away and sitting on his bed. He looked down at his hands. "I wish I could but I can't and it's something I have to deal with alone,"

"You're not alone," Juleka mumbled, making him look up as Marinette looked at her. Rose and Adrien came over as well. "Sorry to interrupt but I was just gonna grab something from my room but I heard that. You can tell us, Luka,"

"No, I can't," He replied, looking up at them. "I'm sorry..."

"Luka," Marinette started but Adrien stepped in his room. 

"Luka, Meleyne has this bracelet that you can tell what's wrong. That way you don't have to hold it all in and you'll be able to get it off your chest," He declared, making Luka frown. "You can tell it your secret and that secret will be with ours,"

"Adrien, don't make him feel like he has to," Marinette scorned.

"But he can't keep holding it back," Adrien gasped as Luka shook his head.

"Adrien, I appreciate the thought but I can't," Luka explained. However, it seems like Adrien wasn't listening. He started going on about how Luka will feel better once he gets whatever has upset him off his chest. Marinette and Juleka noticed Luka beginning to get uncomfortable and tried to get him to drop it but he wouldn't. After listening for a few minutes, Luka had enough. "Adrien! I can't tell you or some stupid bracelet why I'm upset ok?!"

Everyone looked at him in surprise as he snapped before he pinched his nose and tried to calm down.

"Luka, we're just trying to help," Adrien stated but it was enough to tip him over the edge.

"Well, you're not!" He snapped as the lights flickered. "If you want to help then drop it and get out of my room! I don't want to tell you and I can't, so just stop asking and leave!"

"L-leave?" Adrien asked.

"Yes! I only wanted to see Marinette and you still came here! So leave!" He gasped but Adrien didn't move. He blinked, causing Luka to get a bit more annoyed. "I said leave!"

He didn't move again and went to open his mouth.

"Get out!" Luka gasped, clearly annoyed. Adrien frowned and got up before walking to the door. He went to turn to say sorry but Luka was still annoyed. "Just leave me alone, Adrien. I need to calm down and be alone for a bit,"

"Luka-"

"Adrien!" He gasped, making Marinette nod and pull Adrien away, dragging him upstairs as Juleka grabbed the door handle.

"Do you want me to stay?" She asked, making him shake his head. She nodded. "Ok. If you need us, we'll be upstairs. We'll keep an eye for akumas,"

He nodded and placed his head in his hands as she closed the door. As soon as she was gone, the kwamis flew out and rushed to Luka as he held his head in his hand. He was holding back tears as he felt guilty and bad for snapping at Adrien. He knew he was just trying to help and that he was simply trying to show that he cared.

"I wish I could tell them," He whispered, making the Kwamis look at each other with concern. "I wish I could explain to them that I'm Anatis and that I just lost two of my friends but I can't. I can't tell any of them any of what happened,"

"I'm sorry, Luka," Tikki whispered as he hid his face in his arms. The kwamis flew over and hugged him. "We're here though,"

"I know," He whispered, nodding. The room went silent as the kwamis just kept hugging him.

~Hawk Moth's Lair~

The window of Hawk Moth's lair opened as he looked over at it. The white butterflies fluttered around him as he sensed the negative emotions of the kids on the Liberty.

"Several fragile hearts that break all at the same time," He declared, holding out his hand. "What a lovely symphony for my akumas,"

A butterfly landed on his hand before he covered it and charged it up with the dark energy. He let it go and watched it fly towards the window before he spun his cane and placed it next to him.

"Fly away, my akuma and evilize them!" He declared as the akuma flew through the window and across Paris to where the Liberty was docked. Adrien was sat on one of the boxes looking down. Juleka stood against the mast. Rose sat next to Adrien, gently rubbing his arm as she reassured him. Ivan and Mylene were sitting nearby frowning as Marinette paced up and down. She wanted to go down and check on Luka but he needed some space. However, she was even more worried. His eyes were red, like he had being crying. He seemed to have very little energy and then there was the fact that he snapped at Adrien. Luka would normally not snap at anyone. Even when he ran away during Christmas or had to deal with Issac and Bob Roth, he didn't snap so she knew for certain that something bad had happened and he probably couldn't talk about it or felt like he couldn't. She wondered if it had anything to do with Anatis, given that he was Anatis' best friend but the clear grief he was going through suggested it was something that had personally happened to him. She decided it was best to open that can of worms though. Who knows what it could lead to?

"Should I go and apologize?" Adrien's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. Juleka shook her head before he looked down at the bracelet in his hand. He took the lime green bead in his hand and brought it to his mouth before speaking to it. "I didn't mean to push him. I'm just worried about him,"

"It's ok, Adrien," Rose reassured as the akuma flew closer to them. Adrien smiled weakly at her before passing it to Rose. She picked out the pink bead as she frowned. "This is so sad,"

She passed it to Juleka who held the Purple Bead.

"I'm worried about my brother," She spoke before handing it to Ivan and Mylene who both held onto the orange bead.

"I thought the bracelet would help him feel less alone," Mylene stated as Ivan agreed before handing the bracelet to Marc. He held the red bead as the akuma flew closer.

"It feels like the story has ended," He mumbled as Felix and Marinette frowned. He looked down at the bead and frowned even more. "It can't end like this. We can't give up on-"

Just as he spoke the akuma entered the bracelet and the butterfly mask appeared around the eyes of Adrien, Rose, Juleka, Ivan, Mylene and Marc.

"Gang of Secrets, I am Hawkmoth. Your friend won't open up to you and reveal his secrets," He stated in their heads as they listened. "Well, I will give you all the power to force him to give them up! All I want in return is Anatis and Lady Noir's miraculous. Do we have a deal?"

"Luka will be our friend," Ivan declared. "No matter what,"

"And he'll keep no secrets from us," Mylene declared

"He'll tell us what's wrong," Juleka muttered.

"And we'll comfort him," Rose added.

"And once we know what's wrong, we'll rewrite what's happened," Marc declared

"And give him the happy ending he deserves!" Adrien concluded before the purple smog took over them. As it did, Marinette and Felix watched in horror. They had felt the akuma try to take over them but something blocked it, stopping them from joining the others. Felix suddenly grabbed Marinette's hand and pulled her off the boat, making her gasp in shock as they ran up some stairs and hid behind the brick wall. Both of them looked at each other before Felix took out his anti-akuma charm.

"Guess it definitely works," He stated before putting it away and taking out his phone. He dialed a number as she took out her phone and went to phone Luka to warn him. He shook his head and held his phone out. He had already dialed Luka's number and put it on speaker.

"Hello?" Luka answered, making Marinette let out a sigh of relief.

"Luka, you need to get off the Liberty now," Felix declared. "Hawkmoth has taken advantage of the situation and almost everyone else has being akumatized,"

"W-what? Is Marinette safe?!" He gasped, making Marinette's heart flutter.

"Yes, I'm here. Felix pulled me off the ship," She answered before they heard a crash and the phone went dead. "Luka?!"

She went to run off but Felix grabbed her arm.

"It is too dangerous," He stated but she pulled her arm.

"Then stay here but I'm helping him!" She gasped, running down the stairs. As she did, she saw Luka jump from the Liberty to the pathway and run off. However, Reverser flew after him with Princess Fragrance and Little Sister holding on to him. Heureux Fin flew after them as Stoneheart stomped after them with Horrificator on his shoulder. She rushed onto the Liberty and went into the area that contained the boat's wheel before transforming and jumping off, running after the gang.

~Luka's Room just before the Akuma~

"Thank you for the hugs," He muttered, looking up at the kwamis. "I'm sorry that I'm not great company right now,"

"It's ok, young one," Longg declared as the others nodded. "You've being through a lot and none of us blame you for your 'not great' company,"

"Thank you, Longg," He nodded, getting up and wiping his face. "I should apologize to Adrien and make sure everyone is ok,"

He went to reach for his door before his phone rang. He frowned and saw it was Felix before answering it.

"Hello?" He stated, a little confused as to why Felix was calling.

"Luka, you need to get off the Liberty now," Felix declared, making Luka frown. He sounded worried and a little scared. He signaled to the Kwamis to hide and turned to his door as they hid. "Hawkmoth has taken advantage of the situation and almost everyone else has being akumatized,"

"W-what? Is Marinette safe?!" He gasped, his mind jumping to the worst case scenario as he came to a stop. He couldn't lose her as well.

"Yes, I'm here. Felix pulled me off the ship," She answered, making relief flood his body. He went to say something but his phone came up with a strange symbol before Little Sister appeared in front of him, causing him to jump back and drop his phone.

"Treasure, we're here to help you," She declared, making him back away as she went to reach for him. However, Trixx summoned his power and created an illusion of Luka ducking from her and running out of his room. "Treasure! You can't!"

She ran after him, leaving the real Luka left in the room as she chased the illusion. He heard several others leaving as well, making him frown before he leaned down and picked up his phone. Its screen was shattered and its display was dead. He sighed.

"At least, she can't use it to get to me," He mumbled before swiping his earrings. "Tikki, spots on,"

He transformed into Anatis and placed the phone on the side before climbing out of the porthole and swinging around the Seine. He frowned when he saw no one around. He was sure Felix had being nearby with Marinette yet both were gone. His yoyo vibrated, making him open it and saw a news reporter of Horrificator and Stoneheart repeatedly slipping over. He frowned before noticing in the background the Eiffel tower bouncing side to side but it seems most people thought it was the akuma. He also noticed a red energy on the floor, making him frown. He closed his yoyo and headed to the scene. By the time he got there, both akumas were huge as Stoneheart had grown from the repeated impact and Horrificator had grown from the fear of the people who had seen him grow in size. Anatis frowned before glancing round and seeing Felix leaning against a wall in an alley. He jumped down and approached him, frowning even more as he noticed Felix was breathing heavily.

"Felix?" He asked, making the boy look up. His nose was bloodied and he looked pale. He rushed over. "What happened?"

"I t-tried to stop them," he coughed, sinking down onto the floor. Anatis frowned deeply as Felix looked at him. "S-sorry. I didn't mean for them to get so big,"

"It's... ok," He replied as Felix coughed. His nosebleed increased, causing Anatis to frown. However, he shook his head and gently placed his hand on Felix's head. His eyes turned silver as he focused on channeling Toutai's ability to heal. Previously to use it, he had to ask Toutai to allow him but he had a feeling that he didn't need to anymore even though he hadn't used it since he passed his test and his spiritual energy wasn't as weak as it was. It was still weak though so he'd only be able to heal him a little. However, Felix pulled his hand away. "Felix?"

"Fo-focus on the akumas," He mutters, making Anatis frown. "I'll be fine soon,"

"Are you sure?" He asked, getting a nod of Felix before he nodded as his yoyo vibrated. He answered it. "Kitten?"

"So someone is having a villain super party and didn't invite us," Lady Noire answered on the other side.

"They're looking for Luka," Anatis sighed, stepping away from Felix. "He managed to isolate all his friends in one go,"

"I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose but as usual, Hawkmoth had to take advantage," She replied in a reassuring tone. "But there's six villains. It's going to be hard to get the akumatized object,"

"I know," He replied, frowning before going silent. Lady Noir asked him if he was still there, making him blink. "Yeah... sorry I was just thinking,"

"Want to share those thoughts?"

"I'm thinking it may be a good idea to isolate one of the villains and get them to tell us where the akuma is," He mumbled. "But while I do that, I need you to keep Princess Fragrance, Fin and Reverser distracted. Stoneheart and Horrificator are currently amusing themselves. I know it's a lot to ask but they could be an issue,"

"You're going to try and get Little Sister?" She asks.

"Yes. She is Luka's sister and I know I can get through to her,"

"Not a problem. Leave the others to me," He could almost hear the grin in her voice. "Good luck, Annie,"

"Good luck yourself, Kitten," He replied before saying bye and hanging up. He typed on his yoyo and found Little Sister through the new reporters. She was unable to use her teleportation as Luka's phone got broken so she couldn't track him or trade places with others now. He put his yoyo away and turned to Felix. "Take it easy ok?"

"I.." He coughed but gave him a thumbs up. Anatis nodded and threw his yoyo, swinging into the city until he found another alleyway. He laid in waiting until Little Sister jumped over it. Taking the chance, he threw his yoyo and wrapped it around her, trapping her. Her phone fell down and he broke it with his foot, making sure she couldn't escape.

"Ha! Bummer for you, bug boy," Little Sister sneered. "I don't have the akuma,"

"I know," He replied. "That was to make sure you couldn't teleport. Since there's no horn this time, you must have another anchor right. Logically speaking, it would be your phone. Anyway, I just want to talk to you,"

"You want to talk to me?" She asked, making him nod. "Too bad! I have nothing to say to you!"

"Then you can listen," He answered, calmly. "Juleka, from what I understand... you've being having some issues with your brother. He's being secretive and distant and I'm sure you're worried about him. I don't know why he's acting that way but I do know he does care about you and I'm sure he's keeping it to himself because he doesn't want to be a burden,"

"He's not a burden!" She growls. "He's the treasure! I must protect him!"

"By becoming an akuma and forcing him to tell you what's wrong?" Anatis asked, making her look at him with shock. "Let me tell you something. I recently lost a couple of friends of mine and it's being hard trying to recover from it but my friends have been supporting me. Not by rushing me and making me tell them everything but by giving me space and offering their support. That's what Lady Noir is doing and I know my other friends like Culpeo and Abeille would do the same. That's why I trust them and am able to work side by side with them,"

He pauses as she looks down.

"Juleka, you don't need the power Hawkmoth gave you to protect Luka. You can reject it," He states, making her eyes widen before she closed them and started to try and reject the akuma. He had gotten through to her but the butterfly mask appeared around her eyes as Hawkmoth talked to her, trying to convince her to keep her powers. "Listen to me. Luka doesn't need an akuma. He needs you, Juleka. He needs his real little sister!"

He pulled back his yoyo, freeing her as she pushed back and writhed as she tried to reject Hawkmoth's power before she finally pushed back, breaking the mask and sending a shockwave. The purple smog covered her again, turning her back to Juleka as she fell to her knees.

"I..."

"It's ok, Juleka," Anatis replied, kneeling down and gently placing his hand on her shoulder, making her look at him. "You are amazing,"

He helped her to her feet as his yoyo rang. He answered it as she dusted herself down.

"Annie, the gang of secrets is looking for you and Little Sister!" Lady Noir declared as he heard her fighting before she used screech. "I don't know how long I can hold them off!"

"Don't worry. We'll be there soon," He reassured.

"We?"

"I have a friend with me," He replied. "Keep them busy. I promise we won't be long,"

"You got it, bug boy," She replied, hanging up. He checked her location then picked up Juleka and jumped up before running across the rooftops.

"Where's the akuma?" He asked as they ran.

"In a bracelet. I think Mark was the last one to have it," Juleka explained, holding onto him. He landed on a rooftop nearby Lady Noir, who was doing her best to hold them off. He placed Juleka down and tapped open his yoyo before reaching in and taking out the fox miraculous. "Wait... how did you do that?"

"I connected the yoyo with the miracle box. Only I can access it," He replied, handing it to her. "Perks of being the guardian but I'll bring you up to speed another time. Let's help Lady Noir,"

"Yeah," She nodded, putting it on and greeting Trixx before transforming into Culpeo. Anatis threw up his yoyo as Lady Noir got pinned to the ground by Heureux Fin.

"Lucky charm!" He declared, summoning the magic swarm and transforming his outfit. The swarm turned into a swim ring, making him think as he caught it. He looked around, causing Reverser to light up then Lady Noir and Culpeo before the swimming pool building lit up. Just as Princess Fragrance pointed her gun at Lady Noir, he nodded. "Culpeo, give them what they want but make sure to lure them to the pool!"

"On it!" She declared, jumping up into a high part of the building and playing her flute, charging it up. She threw the orange ball. "Mirage!"

"Lady Noir! No!" Luka shouted, getting the villain's attention before he turned and ran away, causing them to chase him. The two heroes jumped down and helped Lady Noir up.

"Are you ok, kitty?" Anatis asked, making her grin and nod. "I'm glad,"

"Don't worry about me but we better save Luka,"

"It's an illusion," He replied, making her nod before he held up the floatie. "But I do have a plan,"

"I'm all ears," Lady Noir grinned as he quickly explained it before he handed her to the floatie. The three of them nodded and jumped away. Culpeo and Lady Noir headed inside the pool building while Anatis landed in front of the doors. He fought against the villains, only letting Reverser get past him. Reverser chased "Luka" into the pool area and went to capture him but Culpeo jumped at him and pushed him off his glider, causing him to fall into the pool and for the illusion to end. Lady Noir forced the floatie over him, trapping him and allowing him to float up before she cataclysmed the bracelet, freeing the akuma. Reverser turned back into Mark and looked around, confused. Meanwhile outside, Princess Fragrance was about to take Anatis' earrings but everyone turned back into their true selves, causing Rose and Adrien to fall. Anatis caught Rose as Culpeo and Lady Noir ran back out. Culpeo jumped up and caught Adrien before setting him down as Rose thanked Anatis. The akuma fluttered by and he threw his yoyo to catch it.

"Time to de-evilize!" He declared, slamming the yoyo shut before he opened it. "Bye, bye. Little Butterfly,"

Lady Noir smiled and handed him the swim ring, causing him to throw it up in the air.

"Miraculous Ladybugs!" He declared, causing it to burst into the cure and spread all over, fixing everything. He looked up at the cure with a sad expression, wishing it could fix everything that had happened with Fu and Mulan but he knew it wouldn't. Lady Noir gently touched his hand, making him look at her as she held her fist. Culpeo did the same thing.

"Pound it?" She asked, making him smile and place his fist to theirs.

"Pound it,"

~Later at the Liberty~

"I... I found earlier today that Dr Mila had gone missing and a friend of mine... he's gone too," Luka stated, sitting next to Juleka and Marinette as he explained to everyone. "I wasn't sure how to deal with it and was trying to come to terms with it... but I didn't mean to snap. I'm sorry,"

"It's ok," Adrien stated. "I shouldn't have pushed you and I'm sorry. I will do better,"

"Thank you for all understanding," Luka muttered. "I can't promise I'll be ok or that I'll open up but I'll try. I'll try and be a better friend and a better boyfriend,"

He gently took Marinette's hand in his.

"I treasure all of you," He replied, making them smile and continue with the rest of their day. Before long, it was time to go and after goodbyes, the only two left on the boat were Juleka and Luka. He turned to go back to his room.

"Luka," Juleka muttered, making him turn back to her. "You didn't tell us everything, did you?"

He looks to the side, causing Juleka to frown.

"I won't try to figure it out or force you to tell me... but Luka..." She whispered. "I'm your sister and I'm always going to be. That's why it kills me that I can't help you with whatever is making you feel so alone,"

Luka went quiet for a minute and he looked down at the floor.

"You're right. I am alone. More than I've ever being," He replied. "I have to lie and keep the truth from everyone and it is catching up with me,"

"You don't have to lie to me," She whispered, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. "Whatever it is, we can handle it together,"

"N-not this time, Juleka," He replied, gently taking her hand in his. "This is my burden and mine alone. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you but today is not that day. I'm sorry, Juleka but I can't tell you. I can't risk it,"

"Luka..." She whispered before nodding. "I understand but when you are about to tell me, I will listen,"

"Thank you," He replied, hugging her. She hugged back. Neither of them had noticed their mother watching. She couldn't help but feel guilt for not noticing her son's suffering and sympathy for him feeling that he had shoulder it alone. He was lying to himself, convincing himself that he couldn't tell anyone and it broke her heart in two. She had failed as his mother. He should know he could talk to anyone be it her or Juleka and that no one would judge him yet he thought he didn't have to. She failed to notice the akuma fluttering towards her.

"Lies, I am Hawkmoth. Your son feels like he can't be honest with anyone. Well, I'm giving you the power to bring honesty back into your family and all I want in return is Anatis and Lady Noir's miraculous. Do we have a deal?"

[kortsitron]

Little distractions

Pairing: Niran Pruksamanee/Lifeweaver × Gender Neutral! Reader

Warnings: mentions of depression, fluff

Summary: Niran is aware that you have hard time distraction yourself from depressive thoughts, luckily he knows a way to keep you distracted (and entertained)

Author’s Note: I know this may not be an actual way to deal with unpleasant feelings, yet I thought the idea was pretty cute. If you’re struggling with depression or any other mental illness, please seek professional help. I believe that everything is going to be alright and I wish you the best <3 Also enjoy this one shot! ♥️

Niran knew how much you struggled. He held you as you cried your eyes out, he was going to the doctors with you when you asked him to, he was doing his best to help you. And yet, after all day of smiles and fun, he knew that at the end of the day, you would either overwork yourself to try to distract yourself or you would get back to being numb. But he wasn’t even near giving up.

Maybe it was his positive attitude, which made him earn the nickname “Sunshine” from you, or just how much he was in love with you.

You were laying on the couch, working on your laptop in the living room when you noticed Niran getting ready. You raised an eyebrow, wondering where he was going. “Where are you going, Sunshine?” You made eye contact with him. You saw the way he finished tying his shoes and the way his face from focused, turned into a soft smile as he stood up and approached you. “You dirty the floor, Niran.” You signed as you leaned your head against the arm of the coach to get a better look at your boyfriend.

“Apologies.” He awkwardly looked at the floor and back at you. “I’ll be meeting Baptiste, we have some stuff to do. Not sure when I’ll be back, but if something bad happens, call me or Satya, okay?” You nodded. He kissed your forehead before heading to the door. “I should be back in around two hours. Love you, don’t overwork yourself, bye!” He waved at you before leaving, watching as a smile creeped on your face and a light blush appeared on your cheeks.

You laid in your bed as tears were streaming down your cheeks. Your mind was too loud for you to think properly and you were waiting for Niran to get back. You started to wonder if you should call him, but you didn't want to bother him. 

“Is that everything?” You heard a masculine voice with a Haitian accent.

“I think so, thanks for the help.” Niran answered the voice. You wiped tears from your face before you adjusted your clothes and went to the living room to see what was going on. Niran smiled at you as you entered the room. Niran frowned his eyebrows as soon as he noticed your red face and slightly puffy eyes. “Hello, dear. Are you okay?” There was a worry in his tone. He approached you, rubbing your arms up and down to hopefully bring you comfort.

“Yeah um… What’s all this stuff?” You asked, pointing to the objects your boyfriend brought home. Cat tree, a bed, a bunch of colorful bowls, a litter box and a box from which came high sounds. Niran saw the way you pouted, clearly not happy with his purchase. “Care to explain, Bua?” The tone of your voice showing him how displeased you were.

Niran was caught off guard by the nickname. It was the moment he realized that you were actually unsatisfied. “Well…” He looked over at his friend. “Baptiste, care for help?”

“It was your idea, I only helped you with bringing the things here.” The man just shook his head, chuckling quietly at the whole situation. “I’ll be heading back home, tell me later how it all went.” Baptiste informed as he left, hoping to not get invested more in the current situation.

Your eyes went from the door, to your boyfriend. “So?” You continued, watching how Niran’s cheeks suddenly turned pink.

“We don’t you see for yourself?” He took your hand in his, taking you to the middle of the living room. “Sit down please.” Without much thinking, you did, but your eyes never left him. You watched as he brought the box in front of you and sat on the floor himself. 

You heard the noises better. It was meowing. “You brought a kitten here?! Niran we-” You paused in the middle of the sentence. Listening intently to the sounds. It wasn’t just one kitten. You glanced at the said box, then back at Niran. Grin on his face as he watched you realize. “How many are there?”

“A bunch.” He shrugged, said grin not leaving face. “Why don’t you open up and see for yourself?”

You hesitated for a second, hands shook lightly before landing on the box and opening it up. Now meowing was resonating in the whole living room. You watched as six kittens were leaving the box, meowing and stomping their little paws on the floor. You heard a chuckle coming from Niran, as he watched your reaction. He noticed that you were processing what was happening before you. 

You finally woke up from the trance, which seemed like hours. “Niran we need to get them back where they came from. I don’t think we can… We can…” You paused as you felt one of the kittens getting on your lap, meowing at you and rubbing itself against you.

“Don’t you think it would be a little rude if we brought them back?” Niran commented calmly, petting the nearest kitten. “Besides, I brought them here to help you.”

“Help me? What do you mean?” Confusion painted itself on your face, as you waited for the answer.

“I know you have a problem with distracting yourself when you start feeling bad, so I thought that you could use these little distractions. I’m sure they’ll keep you busy.”

“But six?”

“I planned on getting two or three at first, but I saw that little group and couldn’t help myself.” You heard the excitement in his voice as he explained. You couldn’t help, but smile softly at him, feeling a warmth in your heart.

You signed. “I guess we can keep them. But only because you will be whining endlessly if we bring them back.”

Niran gasped dramatically. “No, you fell for them as well and you just don't want to admit it!” You chuckled, shaking your head. “You know I’m right!” He pointed at you, smiling from ear to ear.

“Okay, okay. You got me there.” You put your hands up, showing how defeated you were.

“That’s what I thought.” He smirked at you, clearly satisfied. He looked around, watching the kittens walk around. “I think we should give them some food.” He commented, with a bit more serious tone than before. He stood up, holding his hand out to help you with standing out. You gladly accepted it as soon as you took the kitten off your lap.

“You sure we have enough money to keep them? Perhaps you should work on some form of light that’s edible.” Niran laughed at your suggestion.

“Perhaps I should. And you should give them names. They’re ours now.”

“We should give them names.”

[kalcifers-blog]

IRIS FILES - ROBBIE THE ZOMBIE

CW - Physical/Mental Deterioration, Derealization, Rotting Alive, Zombification, Bugs/Insects, Medical Horror

Word Count: 994

Character Count: 4,271

CLASSIFICATION: ALTR 181502

ALTR AGE: 24 YRS OLD

ALTR HEIGHT: 5 “5

ALTR SEX: X

ALTR STATUS: UNSTABLE

ALTR INFO: 18152 contracted an unknown illness after an encounter with ALTR 114209. He was advised to keep track of his symptoms in the form of a journal; IRIS Researchers have secured the journal to track 18152's both physical and mental development.

08/09/2016

“Not been great lately, I've had cold or flu symptoms for the past two weeks, really has been messing with my focus, not great for when I'm trying to study or play as well as I usually can but I've been pushing through it!

I'm still a bit shaken up from that creepy ass guy from last month- it messed with me. I'm glad IRIS is here to help out with my case tho, hopefully they catch the freak. I keep getting all fidgety and anxious whenever I'm out in public. I mean I guess that's normal after something like that but still, doesn't make it easier. I would hang out with friends to make me feel safer but I don't wanna get them sick, hopefully this'll pass

-R”

15/09/2016

“God my head will not stop pounding, I got my headache about 2 days ago, it started off only occasionally but god it just keeps flaring up and more often. My flu hasn't gotten any better. It makes it hard to do anything, I keep getting by, slowly but surely.

-R”

22/09/2016

“Been bed ridden this week- I thought rest would probably help but, every time I sleep I keep dreaming of that guy- I don't remember it fully and it's probably just some weird trauma thing but he keeps.. I don't really know how to describe it? He keeps warping. I don't know its probably just some dream shit”

29/09/2016

“haven't been able to eat properly.. keep feeling this itch on my neck, its not bad just annoying mostly. My phone hurts my eyes. Keep dreaming of creeper.im sure he didn't actually look like that. Sorry for the bad handwriting, I'm so tired nd my hands hurt. Might try sleeping again”

30/09/2016

“woke up and puked, pretty badly too- dreaming of that guy hurts my head”

05/10/2016

“Really should call a doctor I think. I did call IRIS, I'm sure I did, they said they'd send someone over. No one came- my body hurts, everywhere it's just this dull ache. I might try

and shower or something. I don't know what to do at this point- no ones coming I've waited and waited and no one showed. The itching got worse, I don't know what's wrong with me I just need someone to come help”

“Why is no one answering my calls???”

12/10/2016

“Tried to shower, clumps of my hair just- came out. I just cried something is wrong with me I called IRIS again I told them it was urgent and I need help. The creeper answered me. It couldn't have been real- but it made me throw my phone accidentally. It broke and I can't get it to work again. I can't keep going on like this. The itching keeps spreading too- it now feels like things are crawling in my organs. I can't scratch there”

“Threw up again, mostly blood- it was clumpy, I think it was bits of my throat. It hurts my throat to breathe let alone talk”

16/10/2016

“The man in my room can't be here- I didn't let anyone in, he shouldn't be here”

23/10/2016

“I found out why I feel like there things crawling in me. I threw up a dead bug. The itching keeps going. I think I need to leave”

“I left my apartment. The air stung and I felt everyone's eyes on me. I don't care i just need help”

“IRIS won't let me in. Or near anyone.”

30/10/2016

“They're keeping me here. They keep giving me things. They poked IVs in me- the skin just teared away. It hurt so much, it feels good to actually be given medication. It's not kicked in yet but I think it should soon. The nurse gave me a funny look when I described my creep to him. I don't know, I just wanna sleep”

IRIS Supplemental:

ALTR 181502, previously known as Robert “Robbie” James, was announced as clinically dead to the public on 05/11/2016. Within the IRIS Foundation however it should be known that ALTR 181502, while maintaining a “corpse-like” appearance, is very much alive. IRIS researchers and medics have been working on a plausible theory on the rapid and alarming decline in ATLR 181502’s health after an apparent encounter with ALTR 114209. This variation of effects with 114209 seems to be an outlier. But until a working theory has been confirmed, the containment is highly necessary for both ALTR 181502 and for the wider public. Some IRIS staff have left due to unknown illnesses after contact with ALTR 181502. Their symptoms are yet to be examined but they are all in highly secure quarantine zones until they are confirmed to not be carrying a “Zombie Virus” as the research staff seem to be calling it.

As for ALTR 181502- exact details of his initial encounter with ALTR 114209 are documented in his original report to IRIS. His condition remains unpleasant. And it seems the best we can hope for is to keep him in containment until we understand what's going on.

The journal, as well as the remainder of ALTR 181502's belongings have been quarantined or burned. We managed to digitise his IRIS issued journal for the research sake. In said journal we believe the figure he describes is ALTR 114209- as it is within it's behaviour to torment it's victims while they are in mental distress.

It was discovered, by one such medic, after attempting an autopsy on ALTR 181502, that he is very much no longer human. If the hive of moth larvae that has eaten away at all of his organs have anything to say about it at least. How he still is living, albeit not pleasantly, is about as good a guess as yours as it is mine.

End Supplemental.

[goatlingsvent]

Hey, Demi here. I've known about this place for a little thanks to a different user and have avoided touching this place, but since I've been banned, I don't care anymore.

I don't know why or how, but I was banned for having an alt. which I don't have nor never had. I literally got up for a few minutes to look for my earbuds, only to come back to me banned. Considering staff has refused to answer my friends requests for them to email me or answer my emails asking for proof about this supposed "alt account", I'm afraid I'll never get my goats back.

So, at this point, I'm assuming this is a misunderstanding, or I've been framed. So congrats! Billions of ss worth of items are now gone to the void. Better make my lost DOTD count 21 because staff won't even fucking talk to me.

I haven't even been playing that much as of late, not as much as I used to. I was excited to have my IRL friends be able to join MM, but I guess they're doing it without me! And the prize goat for the giveaway? Say goodbye to them and all the retired shit they had because I was trying to help someone else get back into their account so they could donate. Oops, it looks like no one gets any of it!

Perhaps this is good for me. Even though I had refrained from spending money on Goatlings (I did the math and spent well over $4,000 in this goat forsaken site alone), this is now one less avenue for me to relapsePlaying, even if it may sound stupid, literally had negative physical repercussions on my heart and the way my brain makes adrenaline. I can't be excited for shit now without the adrenaline causing severe anxiety instead. So maybe this is good. I already regretted spending the money and regret it even more now!

To the people who hated me because I was annoying or some shit, you could have just, you know, talked to me about it? I'm not a mind reader, I'm a guy with autism and a potential learning disability, learn to fucking communicate with people omg... Alot of your petty beef would be less abundant if you nicely talked it over with people. Why haven't I done that? Because I never felt like a personal problem with anyone! I didn't let little things take over my mind like a brain fungus that makes you stupid.

I may never get my account back. And hopefully, the anxiety and stress of it all will soon subside. Goatlings is becoming more of a hell hole, and I suggest you all quit before you lose it all, or it consumes you. You all sound so miserable... I wish I could help, but I already got my hands full with 3 little brothers and my mentally ill self. If I could buy the site from Kris, I would, and as much as some of you hate me, at least I would listen to your concerns about the site itself.

This may be long as hell, but I care or at least cared for the Goatlings community. Even to those who hate me. If I can't work this out with staff, I'll be here on Tumblr and on Flight Rising. You're lucky I didn't get my hands on the Sweet Nightmares I was gonna get from a buddy soon.

Quit while you still have control. This site isn't worth your well-being.

To long don't care: Demi got banned for having an alt he never made, and staff (so far) won't answer his stupid ass emails. Billions of ss lost.

Live life, love yourself, fuck cops 🥳🎉

🌐

[spunky-89]

How They Met

A/N: Wow time flies! Sorry this took forever but I had a lot going on these last few weeks and life just decided there was no time for writing. It’s short, and I kinda feel like it sucks, but this is the first actual fic writing I've posted in over 2 years, so I'm a bit rusty tbh

Anyway, here is the first of hopefully many blurbs/stories of Luna & Zavrik. Zavrik belongs to lovely @dark-and-kawaii, thanks for sharing him with me 💖

Luna'leivel nearly cried in relief when she was finally able to rest after a long round of 'tests'. She pulled herself into a corner and curled into herself. She then started quietly humming a lullaby her nanny taught her many years ago. It helped her to focus on something other than the throbbing of her body and its many wounds. 

To Luna, time passed strangely during these moments. The moments of rest after a particularly rough day, where she'd retreat into her own mind to regulate her emotions and numb the pain. It usually was long enough for Luna to feel at least somewhat better, but on that day it felt like all too soon that her mother, Iliae'vel, was nudging Luna with her foot to stir her.

At that moment, her surroundings shifted rapidly as the pain and dread of having to move caused a new, strange, sensation.

Suddenly, the relative darkness and stuffy air of the basement she knew as her home was replaced with bright sunlight and fresh, crisp autumn air. For a moment, she was awed that she was actually outside. Her body then harshly reminded her of her situation when her knees buckled and pain shot through her from her unhealed wounds, adding a new array of fresh ones from hitting the ground.

The wind was knocked out of her and her senses were muddled, whether from the pain or sudden magic that brought her here, she wasn't quite sure. She tried to take in her surroundings, but her ears felt muffled and her eyes blurry. Getting nowhere with her assessment, Luna curled onto her side and pressed her hands to her eyes. She tried to focus and center herself, panic would not aid her in this moment. So, despite the pain in her chest, she tried to take a handful of deep breaths to collect herself.

Beginning to regain her senses, Luna looked up to see a tall tiefling male coming towards her rapidly. She could tell he was speaking, but she still couldn't quite hear right and it sounded garbled. The man reached out to help her as she attempted to right herself, and her senses cleared just enough to hear him ask if she was alright and where she came from. 

He quickly crouched near her and offered a helping hand to steady her. Luna gripped his forearm and struggled, but managed to sit up on her knees with his assistance. Once settled, she held a hand to her ribs to try to dull the pain of breathing and tried to answer his questions. Despite her best efforts, every time she attempted to open her mouth to speak, a sharp pain ripped across her face. Though she tasted her own blood, she kept trying while pained cries slipped out more than words. Noticing her struggle, the man was quick to hush her.

"Hey, hey, take it easy,” He spoke softly as he gently turned her face to assess the damage, “maybe don't try to talk right now, your face is banged up pretty good."

The man started to look around as Luna caught her breath. As they sat for a moment, she started to take in the man's features. He was tall, or at least much taller than her, and broad, wearing ornamental but practical armor with a sizable sword strapped to his back. When he looked back to her, his face showed concern, and while he didn't seem to hold ill intent, Luna was still wary. Even so, Luna knew her chance of escape was limited, so she chose to take the aid of this stranger.

"Do you think you try to stand now?" The man asked.

Luna took a breath and nodded. She grabbed at his offered forearms and readied herself to get up, but the shouting of her name and running footsteps froze her in place, the terror all but paralyzing her.

The man, who seemed to notice the shift in demeanor, moved to stand and face the incoming party.

A tall, thin, well-dressed woman whipped around the corner, her face filled with cold fury. However, her expression rapidly shifted to one of false concern and relief when she noticed there was someone else in the alley with Luna.

Shaking, Luna placed one of her hands on the man’s arm, almost tugging at him.

"Please, don't let them take me back."

[acefaun]

Kaeya~ The Curse

Synopsis: God!MC brings back a container of cleansing water from the pool they came across on their adventure with Dainsleif in the Chasm. They hoped to give it to Kaeya… But it seems as though they were a little too late to help. Hopefully they can make up for lost time.

⚔️Masterlist⚔️ Gender-neutral, God MC! ~Spoilers for Chasm Interlude Archon Quest after Liyue A/n: Popping into the Genshin fandom with a self-indulgent serving of my favorite Ragbros! 💕 I read a few fanfics about how Kaeya might have had a similar reaction to Dainsleif during the Archon Quest, so I decided to add my own bit to it with a little bit of the SAGAU aspect of MC being their ‘god’.

–Word Count: 2,800–

I had been gone from Mondstadt for too long, I mused as I took in the fresh air around me. Being in the Chasm for weeks on end made me cherish the feeling of the open air in Mondstadt. The free wind was so much less stifling than suppressive rocks.

Still, however grateful I was, one person remained on my mind on my trip home. The cool container that rested within a pouch against my leg reminded me that my mission wasn't over. On my recent adventure into the Chasm with Dainsleif, we found the ruins of an ancient civilization that the Abyss was using for another of their schemes. Their goal was to bring Khaenri’ah back, but we put a stop to their nefarious plot. 

While it would have been nice to see the ancient citizens of Khaenri’ah freed from their curse, it would have caused much more suffering and loss than done any actual good. There wasn't a chance that their plans would meet with surefire success, after all. In fact, I—along with Dainsleif—was certain their plan would fail spectacularly. I had Khaenrian friends to protect, and I would never take a chance playing with their lives. 

My fingers brushed against the cork of the bottle I carried. I wasn't that powerful, but even I could feel something comforting from the bottle. I couldn't imagine the discomfort and suffering that those cursed had to go through without a hint of relief. By having this water nearby, I hoped that Kaeya might feel some reprieve. 

Kaeya never divulged anything about himself to me, out of fear that I was the god from Celestia that sent his nation to ruin. So, I wasn’t entirely sure how Kaeya’s lineage really affected him, but it was better to be safe rather than sorry. Fortunately, each adventure I went on seemed to lead me to more answers that he probably didn't even know himself.

Still, I might have been overthinking things… After all, Kaeya was only a descendant of Khaenri’ah, he wasn’t there when it was destroyed. But that Abyssal scheme was terribly effective—even Dainsleif had to rely on me to resolve the situation. I had to prepare for the worst and hope for the best with Kaeya’s unknown situation.

It was early in the night when I walked through the gates of Mondstadt. Luckily, if all was as well as I hoped, I knew exactly where my friends would be gathered. 

I was grateful that, as soon as Dainsleif and I finished our quest, he understood the urgency with which I had to return home and check on my found family.

Opening the door to the Angel’s Share, it was unusually quiet, and my apprehension only grew. My eyebrows furrowed as I noted a few regulars, but there was no bard. There was no exasperated Diluc or rambunctious Kaeya. “Charles,” I asked, walking up to the bar. “What's the lull? Isn't it usually more lively here at night?”

“Your Excellency,” he addressed me formally. “Sorry. You must be looking for Master Diluc. He's visiting Master Jean tonight. You might be able to find him in her office.”

My eyebrows furrowed further. Something was wrong for the alcoholics to be missing and Diluc to be in the Knight's headquarters. I prayed I was jumping to the wrong conclusions… I couldn’t wait for an explanation. “Tell me what happened.”

He let out a brief sigh, his empathetic eyes landing on me. “I heard that Captain Kaeya fell ill. I wish I had more to tell you, but the Knights have been keeping things quiet since. No one really knows what happened yesterday-”

“Yesterday?” Then my suspicions were unfortunately correct. Kaeya was affected by the Abyss’s device, and no one was there with Kaeya to help or understand why he was suffering. Before Charles could give another word, I was flying out of the door. I was thankful the foot traffic was light as I raced up the stairs to get to HQ. 

The knights were quick to fling the doors open for me as soon as they recognized my intended path. Nearly crashing into Jean's office door, I flung it open, startling those inside. Jean immediately stood from her chair. “Your Excellency, you're here. There's been a problem-”

“With Kaeya,” I finished for her, my eyes flickering across the faces in the room. There was Jean, Diluc, Barbara, and Amber. They were no doubt all gathered there for the same reasons. But I needed them to cut to the chase. “I heard. Tell me everything.”

Jean gestured for Amber to tell the story from the beginning. Taking her cue without hesitation, Amber walked me through her version of what happened, “I was just returning from my patrol yesterday afternoon when I ran into Captain Kaeya. He looked… bothered; but I didn’t think he was feeling unwell or anything. I was about to ask him about it when he just… Well, I don’t know what really happened. He just looked like he was in so much pain; it was so bad, he looked like he couldn’t breathe and then couldn’t even stand on his feet.”

“We were thrown completely off guard,” Jean commented. Apparently it wasn't the most subtle thing. Many citizens panicked at the sight of the Captain in such agony and went straight to the Knights of Favonius to report the emergency. 

Barbara then added anxiously, “We tried our best to help and make it bearable, but nothing we did worked. We spent all night trying everything, well into the morning. Even with my hydro vision, I couldn’t seem to ease his symptoms. Eventually, we had to send for Master Diluc… We thought they might be at odds, but we were sure he might know something to help. I mean, something like that wouldn't just randomly happen, right?” 

Of course, she assumed it was some natural affliction. It wasn't poison, and it wasn't something they could heal with their church medicines. They had Kaeya’s situation all wrong, and Diluc didn't seem like he told them a word. 

Guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders. I tried to stop the Abyss Order as quickly as I could, but there were too many abyss mages for me to work swiftly and efficiently. Not to mention, Dainsleif was in agony and his friend was dying in front of him. Stopping the Abyss took far too long and drew too much attention to Kaeya. I could only imagine how long of a night it must have been for Kaeya to endure.

But what could Diluc have possibly done to help, anyway? This situation never happened before—and I would be sure it never happened again. None of what happened was precedented. With my gaze flickering to the apparently frustrated red-head, I paused, taking in his appearance. I knew he didn't enjoy working with the Knights of Favonius, but this particular agitation was new. It was time I got his side of the story. “Diluc… What did you-”

“I came to see him as soon as I was informed, and when I got here, they refused to let me in his room,” Diluc hissed, withholding so much wrath that it left me surprised.

Jean sighed, all of them looking awkwardly away from the angered man. She supplied me with an explanation, “At first we thought getting Diluc would be the best response. But… As soon as we had Kaeya inside of headquarters, he started shouting that he was burning. It wasn’t a fever, and he seemed like he wasn’t in his right mind. Knowing vaguely what happened between them, I made the last minute call to keep Diluc out. Your excellency, you have to understand… I did what I thought was best for Kaeya given the circumstances.”

“He could have been dying, and it was ‘for the best’ that I couldn't see him,” Diluc retorted. He didn't need the weak excuses of the Knights of Favonius, he wanted to make sure his brother was okay. He couldn't do that if they restricted him from going as far as the first floor.

“I disapprove of how you made the decision to keep Diluc out after so quickly inviting him to this mess.” I snapped at the group of knights in defense of Diluc. “What happened between them is in the past and had nothing to do with what happened to Kaeya. Diluc,” my steely gaze softened as I met Diluc’s eyes of adoration. Of course, he knew I would understand everything. I would take his side. I offered to him, “Come with me. We're going to go check on Kaeya. I came to help.”

“Thank you.” He didn’t hesitate to follow me out of the quiet room. Everyone else meekly remained where they were for just getting scolded by me. Still, I had trouble waiting for Diluc as I practically rushed to leave Jean’s office. 

“Captain! Captain Kaeya, please go back to your room! You're not-” The knight that was chasing Kaeya down the stairs, faltered at seeing me. “You're Excellency! I'm sorry! Captain Kaeya shouldn't have slipped past us! Ah!” The Knight panicked as Kaeya immediately flung his arms around me, his larger frame almost overtaking me. “C- Captain, please, that's their Excellency you just-”

“(Name)!” My eyes widened at hearing Kaeya call my name. Hardly anyone ever used my name. Everyone respected me, feared me, cherished me, adored me. Using my name was disrespectful, something frowned upon. But I loved hearing it from them. I loved when they used my name and not some impersonal title.

“Kaeya,” I replied with his name, in turn, my hands resting on his back.

“It feels nice…” Kaeya muttered, his arms tightened around me, holding me closer. “I felt when you got to Mondstadt. You felt different from usual, but I needed to find you. Please, let me hold you. It doesn't hurt anymore.”

“We're going home, Kaeya,” I hushed, trying to soothe him as best I could. I knew the water I had with me was really what was drawing him to me like this. But for now, I wanted to make up for not being faster. Just like Dainsleif, even Kaeya would need time to recover from the strain his body was put through. “Diluc’s going to take us back to the manor, and we'll take care of you.” Similarly to how his grip tightened around me, I pulled him closer, my fingers sinking into his unkempt hair. “I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.” 

He hummed, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything more as he basked in the presence of the cleansing water. Though the effects of what happened lingered in his system, he was feeling better just by being with me. He knew I was his god.

Diluc hesitantly pressed closer, despite the eyes of onlookers that were judging us. “If the manor is where you want to go, I suggest we depart. Kaeya, can you walk?” 

Kaeya could—he just bounded down the stairs for me—but he'd never make it as far as Dawn Winery. Awkwardly, I mentioned, “I'm agile, but I'm a bit of a limp noodle when it comes to weights. I'm afraid you'll have to carry him, Diluc. He’s been through a lot.” Reaching for the pouch at my side, I untied the strings and held the bag out to Diluc. “You can hold on to this for now. I have one for you when we get home. It'll help him feel better.” 

I didn't explain much just yet as Kaeya was carefully lifted, and he relaxed into Diluc’s arms. No one dared to question or stop me as I left with the two brothers accompanying me. I wasn't necessarily leaving because of the way Diluc had been treated. I was leaving purely because of the confidential matter that only involved the three of us.

Taking us to the teleport point, the journey home was short, and we took our time to get relaxed in Kaeya’s room, where he passed out almost immediately. It was the first time he was almost entirely free of pain since the incident. 

“If I may ask,” Diluc started slowly, his hands grazing over the pouch you gave him with the concealed bottle inside. “What exactly is this?”

Diluc knew mostly everything about Kaeya—who he was, where he was from, why he was in Mondstadt. He also knew Kaeya as a brother, which was where we were now. He wanted his brother to be okay and as annoying as usual, not bedridden.

As promised, they deserved answers. So, I began my summarized explanation of events, “I went on a mission recently against the Abyss Order. They… tried to revive Khaenri'ah against my warnings of what would happen. They were determined to cleanse the Khaenrians of their curse. However, all that resulted was suffering. Every living soul with that curse was in unbearable agony. It could have been devastating if I hadn’t gotten there in time.” My downcast eyes landed on the gentle rise and fall of Kaeya’s chest. “Even a nation away, he probably thought he was dying. I could only do my best to fix it as quickly as possible—but I wasn't strong enough to take care of them as fast as I wanted to. Who knows how long Kaeya was suffering because of me…”

“But you took care of them,” Diluc reminded me, knowing I would no sooner fall into self-loathing. “You did good against a powerful enemy. You should be proud. Whatever this water is… you managed to bring it here to help him. Don't think what you did wasn't adequate.”

Pursing my lips together, I knew better than to argue. He would only try to make me take it back. Diluc cared much more than he let on. He wouldn't let me shoulder the guilt. So, rather than dwelling on that, I changed the subject back to the pouch. “I forgot, I brought a bottle for you as well. However, I mean to go back and collect more for you to store in the Winery in case of emergencies like that one.” Taking the pouch back, I opened it, pulling out the glass bottle of cleansing water. “This was in an ancient city. Apparently, it acts as a cleansing water, soothing the effects of the curse. It won't cure him, so it does no good to drink it. But having it near will help.” 

“Cleansing water,” Diluc repeated, observing the seemingly normal water that I held. It was strange that Kaeya couldn't even tell what he was attracted to when he found me in HQ. From what Diluc could tell, Kaeya could simply sense the water from that far away. “It's fascinating. I'm sure we'll have to keep a greater supply. I… feel like I should ask how you came to know that this water would help him when it looks and feels like normal water to those without the curse.”

“Because that fountain was where the cursed went to meet a peaceful end,” I replied quietly, avoiding mentioning my travel partner. In truth, I probably wouldn’t have suspected what the effects of this water truly were if not for Dainsleif’s explanation. “It seems sad, but this water is truly the only thing that seems to be able to give some respite.”

Diluc hummed, his eyes now searching Kaeya and wondering when his sad end would come. Luckily, he wouldn't have to suffer so much anymore thanks to my efforts. Diluc watched how I delicately traced Kaeya’s still hands, my eyes overflowing with guilt. “You did your best. I wish you'd be kinder to yourself.”

I hummed, but I didn't agree or disagree with him. “I'm not finished with my mission against the Abyss… but… I'm not leaving Kaeya right now. You can stay too. Mondstadt can do without their Darknight Hero for a while. Kaeya needs us more than they do.” Kaeya deserved to be coddled after his horrible experience. I'd do my damned best to ensure it never happened again.

[valentine-writes]

Could you write something about hanahaki disease with Johnathon ohnn? (Could end in angst or fluff either is good :3) no rush ofc, i love your work!!!

choking on flowers.

「 tws + notes: open ended ending, implications/mentions of death (but no Actual Death), unedited, OOC, interpretation of hanahaki may be slightly diff (i haven't heard of this trope thing in a hot min ngl so im not the Greatest With This), pre-collider even though his holes generating flowers is a silly thought which i giggled abt while writing this, present/past tenses are fucked up cuz i changed formatting halfway, angst?? 」

「 gn!reader, (unrequited) romantic relationship </3 」

↳ ft. johnathan/johnathon ohnn

author's note: THANK U SMMM!! (∩^o^)⊃━☆ lowkey 4got thiz thing existed lolz,, and while hanahaki aus are no longer My Thing, i wud b lying if i told u i didn't eat hanahaki ficz up in middle school ＞︿＜!! sooo,, here we go!!! hopefully this is ok,, many apologies for how short it iz aauwgwhwh

this is the third time you've called him today, trying to reach out. the first two times, he had thought he was strong enough to ignore you.

he was wrong. the minute his phone rang out that third time, he practically scrambled over to it just to answer. pathetic.

"you haven't been at work for what,,, almost two weeks now?"

the concern in your voice makes johnathan want to keel over dead instantly– not like he's far from it anyways. he pulls his phone away as he lets out a weak cough. you barely hear it from your end of the call.

"...sick." is all he manages to rasp out, his sore throat preventing him from speaking further. even if he could manage to talk more, he wouldn't know what else to say. how would he tell you? the call ends prematurely. you know you're not going to get more out of him, and he knows that it's better to keep you in the dark about his situation.

to tell you about how his unrequited feelings have manifested into something much more than both of you can handle was completely and absolutely out of the question. how was he supposed to explain he had been coughing up your favourite flowers? johnathan would rather let it kill him.

not only was he humiliated by the sheer intensity of his yearning– he knew you'd end up feeling guilty about it. yet, a part of his heart ached, wishing that he was selfish enough to tell you. maybe seeing you cry over him would give him some semblance of love.

that was an awful thought. he promptly pushed it aside. he'd never want to make you cry.

he could only laugh at how frustrating his situation is. it was inescapable, his fate inevitable and ever nearing– and no one to tell.

he had never felt so alone.

at least i'll have flowers for my funeral, he thought in the deafening silence of his home, finding the energy to let out a weak chuckle over the thought.

–

a few days after the call, his phone buzzed, receiving a text from you:

i'm coming over'

straightforward, at least.

'what if you get sick?' he messages back, trying to generate excuses to keep you away.

you reply swiftly, before he can come up with anything else, unswayed by the idea of potentially catching his illness which, unbeknownst to you, wasn't really transferable anyways. 'we'll wear masks then. omw.'

lovely. you were stubborn as ever. at least you gave him a heads up.

he noticed you made no attempt to keep your distance from him as you dropped off his little care package.

all neatly put into a little basket was some fresh fruit you had insisted he needed, as you rambled over the importance of vitamin c and immune health, a sweet little card filled with "get better soon"s filled by his coworkers at alchemax most of which he knew probably didn't really care all that much, a few packages of cough drops you had been a sweetheart to actually choose ones which had bearable flavours, a blanket, a few snacks, and... flowers.

if you had known exactly what illness, he doubted this choice would have been made. he stared at them silently, finding some sort of humor in the mortifying irony.

-

you said an awkward goodbye at his door, about to turn around and head off– before hesitating for a second.

"johnathan?" the way you looked at him, eyes filled with tenderness and worry– maybe it wasn't so bad after all, for you to be the death of him.

"...yeah?"

you didn't say anything further, instead, choosing to communicate through impulsively squeezing him into a tight hug.

you pull away just as quick as it had happened, yet the warmth of your embrace lingered a little longer, even as you headed out the door. something about you caring so much made it hurt more.

johnathan wondered why you even cared, why you were so persistent about looking out for him– knowing that he'd end up watching you slip away from him again, leaving an ache in his heart nothing could remedy.

he couldn't blame you. not sweet, kind, thoughtful you. he was the idiot, the careless fool who yearned for something he couldn't have.

maybe in another life, he thought to himself.

[hayconrisa]

First off, TYSM FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL TAGS AND QUESTIONS 🫶🫶

Second, to answer all this (I’m just gonna answer them here as to not clog my blog)

- I’d say they spent an equal amount of time on the Lady Lucrezia (Ty for reminding me of the name) and that log cabin/mansion lake house thing Divan also owns. Where they’re staying really just depends on where Divans staying. If he decides to not bring them on a business trip/on the Lucrezia for whatever reason, they taken care of by Argent and the rest of his staff back at the lake house.

- Yes, unfortunately, due to the environment they grew up in, Rea and Jules are really desensitized to unwinding by the time they’re adults. I also think Roberta and Divan put a ton of pro-unwinding propaganda in their heads during childhood to drive home the point further.

- For now, I’m saying the twins became parts pirates because they feel sorta indebted to their caregivers and feel the need to carry on their business and beliefs even though unwinding has definitely fizzled out a lot by the time they start working.

ALSO YES PLS DRAW MY BABIES IN THEIR FANCY LITTLE OUTFITS ILL CRY AND LYSM /P

OH GODDDDDDD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ACTUALLY???????? morally grey characters who are the way they are because their parents are morally grey and not just because they because. villains. for lack of a better word. always a story about the antagonist and never a story about the legacy that the antagonist leaves that affects the people around them. reagen and jules are that legacy. im so obsessed with them this entire concept is just so good. something something bust your kneecaps by pomplamoose. it just fits them so well!

love the lake house... me when i grow up living in a lake house and the world's largest airplane ever built with my sibling like my parents are divorced and i spend every two weeks at each place but they actually just hate each other and didn't want to deal with raising me so they make the most influential guy in the parts market raise me instead. actually do roberta and nelson hate each other? what is their deal with each other? are either of them in the picture at all or did they literally just ship reagan and jules off to divan to be raised...

and again with the legacy of the antagonist thing. im so fascinated with what their moral outlooks must be like because holy shit imagine growing up around both the head of proactive citizenry and the scariest guy in the parts market and being fed all of that. what do they think when they meet someone who isn't pro-unwinding??? i mean that must just be so foreign to them. and of course they'd become parts pirates because it's all they know, gotta carry on the family legacy, it's a dying art and we are the only people who can preserve it etc (do they have complexes about that...). do reagen and jules feel differently about unwinding or do they both mostly feel the same?

i am so so so fascinated by these two oh my god. putting them in a jar and observing them under a microscope. i need to understand what goes on in those heads of yours.

here is a little drawing of them because they are silly!!!! i hope it looks like them 🙏 i wanted to doodle them first before I drew them in their silly little fancy outfits so hopefully that is coming soon...

[lady-pug]

In Sickness And In Health - In Sickness

Summary: The kid fell ill while Din is away and you feel absolutely hopeless trying to help him, but nothing seems to work. You get progressively more worried the more he cries, and it's driving you insane. Hopefully Din will get back soon.

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

Word count: 3,8k

Warnings: description of sickness (also Grogu throws up), small injuries (scratches)

Notes: this one is actually a two-shot, in which both parts complement each other. This was a fun one to write. Do keep in mind that Grogu is sick in this one, so there are descriptions of feeling ill and throwing up (so if this is something that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to skip ahead). As always, if you spot any mistakes, please feel free to warn me and I'll correct it right away, and feedback is always welcome and appreciated. I hope you enjoy this one!

Reader’s gender not specified.

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Crying. That’s all you could hear and all your mind could focus on. You even felt like crying yourself. The kid had been desperately wailing for hours already and no matter what you did he wouldn’t stop. 

Din had been gone for almost two days now, away gathering information that could be useful in finding the kid’s people. While you had originally wanted to go with him, he had deemed the place and the people he was meeting too dangerous for the kid, and asked that you stay on the Crest and look after him while he was gone (“Just like the good old days, huh?” you had joked, to which Din answered with a brief chuckle).

Almost immediately after Din had left the kid started growing fussy. You hadn’t given it too much thought as it was pretty normal behavior for him everytime his guardian left, missing him as much as you did, and had tried to distract him with some coloring and some food. Your suspicion that something was indeed wrong started to arise when the kid refused to eat the jerky you offered him, and continued whimpering. After all, this little boy loved food almost more than anything. You decided that maybe a nap would make him feel better and put him in his little hammock above Din’s bunk, where he fell asleep almost immediately.

The silence on the ship lasted only a few hours, which you had used to fix some wiring under the navigation controls, before the kid woke up wailing. You scrambled from under the controls, almost hitting your head in the process, and ran to the hull to check on him. Once you opened the bunk’s door the sight before you made your heart clench with concern.

The kid was bawling his eyes out, the little hammock swinging back and forth with the force of his sobs, his skin a paler shade of green, almost grayish. 

“Oh, my love” you picked him up gently, but his squirming nearly made you drop him, so you cradled him a little more firmly “What’s wrong?”

His little robe felt wet under your palms, his skin damp with sweat. You gently laid the back of your hand on his forehead, confirming that he was indeed quite warm.

“You’re ill, is that what’s bothering you?” you cooed at him, trying to calm him down “Let’s see how we can make you feel better, yes?”

You took him back to the cabinet that served as a kitchen pantry.

“When I was little, old lady Aola often took care of me when I was sick. She would help Porcellus make this amazing cream of womp rat soup that would get me back on my feet in no time.” you sat him down on a counter, his crying never ceasing “Let’s see if we can improvise something similar for you.”

Improvise, as it turned out, was a huge understatement. It was quite hard to store fresh food on the Razor Crest, so you and Din mainly kept canned essentials and food that could be frozen and subsequently defrosted. The rare times you managed to come across fresh goods, they were quickly consumed before they could spoil. Therefore you found out you didn’t have the main ingredient to make soup for the kid: womp rat meat.

“Okay, not to worry, we can figure something out, right kid?”

You didn’t receive a response, the little boy only kept on crying. The more he sobbed, the more distressed you felt, fumbling with the ingredients to finish the soup quicker. More than once his crying spiked a little louder, almost making you chop a finger off. 

“There we go” you said once you finished, pouring some of the soup on a tiny bowl for him “You’ll start to get better after you eat.”

Once the soup had cooled off a little you handed him the bowl and turned back to get some for yourself. What you did not expect, however, was for the kid to grow even more fussy, screaming even louder, and use his magic powers to send the entire pan flying towards you.

“Maker, kid!” you yelped, the soup burning your skin even through your clothes as it ran down the front of your shirt. Some had splashed on your exposed arms, the skin there starting to redden.

That seemed to calm him down somewhat. In between hiccups, the little boy started giggling.

“Yeah, this’ what does it, huh?” he laughed even more at the pained grimace on your face “Laugh at my misery, kid, and see what happens.” you smirked at him, no malice behind it.

You went back to your cot to grab a somewhat clean shirt to replace the one soaking with soup. You winced as you tried to peel it off, the course material sticking to your injured skin. Once you were presentable you went back to the kid to find him quietly sipping his soup.

“Feeling better now that you let it all out of your system?” you asked him, to which he only gurgled in response.

After cleaning up the mess the kid had made while he finished eating you decided to check his temperature. Placing your palm against his head, you noticed that he felt even warmer than before. 

“This doesn’t feel good.” 

Grabbing the ship’s medkit you retrieved the infrared thermometer, but not before noticing a single stimshot sitting there. You stared at the small green item at the bottom of the kit, pondering your next steps. You were hesitant about using it, not knowing anything about the kid’s species and how his system would react to the stim. Besides, the dose was designed for adults. Maker, it was strong enough to use on a wookie, what would happen if you gave it to a baby? I’ll leave it as a last resort, you decided.

The number displayed on the thermometer was high, but you couldn’t tell exactly how high for the kid’s standards. 

“I guess we’ll just have to monitor your fever.” you smiled down at him, realizing his eyes were getting a little droopy “How about we give you a nice, lukewarm bath and put you down to sleep, what do you say?”

Compared to his fussiness from earlier, the kid was incredibly calm while you washed and dried him. He was practically asleep by the time you put him down on his hammock again.

You decided a cold shower would do you good. Upon closer inspection, now that you weren’t in such a rush, the skin of your chest and stomach was quite red. There were even some small blisters where the hot soup had come in direct contact with the skin of your arms. If you remembered correctly, there wasn’t much bacta left so you decided against using it, as Din could need it once he was back. The cold water helped soothe the burns.

Hopping out of the shower you sat down on your cot with a datapad to do some research. Surely someone on the holonet knew something about a species with green skin and big pointy ears, right? But you came back empty handed, as not a single mention to anything similar to the kid’s kind could be found. You quickly changed your approach and settled upon browsing through blogs with tips for first-time parents on how to take care of ill babies. A few tips were actually pretty useful.

This whole day had been very exhausting and had left you completely drained. Checking the chrono you realized it was starting to get dark outside. After checking on the kid one last time, you decided to go to bed early.

You managed to get only a couple of hours of shuteye before you jolted back to consciousness by the kid screaming bloody murder. 

“Oh, no.” you groaned tiredly as you got up to tend to him “I’m coming, my love.” you whispered even though he clearly couldn’t hear you.

When you opened the door to Din’s bunk you panicked for a second not seeing the baby on his hammock. Instead you found him lying on his back on Din’s bed, his little arms swinging in the air as if he couldn’t get up.

“Oh, kid, what happened?!” you asked as you picked him up and cradled him close to your chest. A second later you stiffened, and if you could facepalm you would: it was pretty obvious, he must have squirmed too much and fallen from his hammock. You were so tired you were starting to lose your coherence.

The kid gripped the front of your shirt with all his might and nuzzled into your collarbone, his crying quieting a little but never stopping. You placed the back of your hand on his forehead.

“You’re still hot.”

You fumbled with the thermometer, almost dropping it in the process and measured his temperature. It was practically the same as the last time you checked. 

“At least it’s not going up.” 

You started walking around the hull bouncing him in your arms, trying to get him to settle down again. You tried shushing him, humming quietly, singing a lullaby. You were so desperate to help him however you could that you even went as far as putting a bucket over your head and impersonating Din to see if that would calm him down.

“I can bring you in warm” you said, your voice forcedly deeper and lower “or I can bring you in cold.”

That makes him blow a quiet tiny giggle between hiccups, but otherwise did not stop his crying.

“I don’t know what to do.” you whimpered, frustrated tears brimming in your eyes “How can I help you?” 

The kid kept on crying for a few more minutes before he stopped all of a sudden. You looked at him quizzically and for a moment you hoped, you prayed that this was it. Before you could even react he gurgled and puked all over the front of your shirt.

“Of course.” you sighed.

That seemed to do it for him, apparently having been woken up by a sore stomach. He instantly quieted down.

“Let’s see if you can keep something else down.” there you went to prepare him more food. Now with a full stomach again you put him down to sleep again, this time directly on Din’s bed so he wouldn’t fall off and hurt himself, and headed to the shower. Again. Then you went to bed. Again.

This went on for two days: every few hours the kid would wake up wailing, you would tend to him and more often than not you would have to get back to the shower. It got to the point where you had no more clean shirts and had resorted to hunting for one of Din’s to wear. His fever was not going down, but at least it wasn’t going up (or that’s what you kept telling yourself). By the beginning of the first afternoon you gave up trying to sleep, running exclusively on caf and willpower (which, to be fair, was dimming every passing moment you stayed awake a little longer). You were practically swaying on your feet. 

You were adamant on not using the stim, too scared of doing more harm than good. Instead you’ve been trying to bring him back to full health with only soup and lukewarm baths and lots of water and rest, but that was not seeming to do the trick.

You briefly considered calling Din on the comm he had, but it was for emergencies only. But wasn’t this an emergency? You were hesitant on calling him and worrying him when he was so far away, or worse, possibly giving away his position in a vulnerable moment. So you resorted to doing this on your own.

The kid had just quieted down in your arms, nuzzling further into your embrace. You let yourself hope for just a moment that he was finally going to get better. After settling him down on Din’s bed, you sat down on your own cot to try and read some manuals on the Razor Crest’s navigation system and hopefully learn how to properly fly the ship just in case. The kid was the quietest he ever was this past couple of days, his nap lasting a lot longer than before. Thank the Maker, you sighed in relief. Even though your eyelids were getting heavier by the second, you forced yourself to stay awake just a while longer. He might need me, you argued, I need to be ready. Just in case this isn’t over, I need to be there for him if he-

You were harshly woken by a piercing scream and the floor vibrating. Disorientated, you checked the chrono and cursed as you realized a few hours had gone by since you put the kid down to sleep. Kriff, I must have dozed off.

Standing up on unsteady feet you felt the whole ship shaking. Reaching for the bunk, you slid the door open to find the kid screaming his little lungs out, his little arms flailing around. He must be the one making the ship move with his powers.

“Hey kid, what’s wrong?” you asked, reaching to check his forehead “Kriff, you’re burning up!”

Grabbing the thermometer, you measured his temperature. It was high, a lot higher than it was before. You silently cursed yourself for falling asleep, having missed when his temperature started to rise.

“Oh, Maker, kid.” your eyes started stinging from unshed tears “I’m so sorry, I should have been taking better care of you, I’m-”

A sob got stuck in your throat. You were absolutely desperate and also so frustrated with your inability to make the kid feel better, what would Din say if he saw you now? This was why he brought you along, one of the reasons he hired you in the first place, what would he think of you if you couldn’t even do your job right? And the kid! He was hurting, that absolutely broke your heart, and there was nothing you could do but hopelessly watch. And you were so very tired.

No.  

You refused to give up yet. The kid needed you. He needed you and you were the only one who could take care of him now.

With newfound determination, you cleaned your face where a few traitorous tears had slipped down your cheeks and grabbed the medkit. You were going to use the stimshot. After retrieving a small blade from Din’s weapon stash and an empty cup, you scooped the baby up in your arms before sitting on the ground in the middle of the hull.

Using the sharp blade, you carved a tiny hole on the tip of the pneumatic dispenser that held the stimulant, just enough to be able to pour most of the liquid inside the cup, without damaging the pumping mechanism. With just a small dose inside the syringe, you held onto the kid and tried raising one of his sleeves.

When he finally caught on to what you were doing, he screamed and cried even more desperately than before, wiggling in your arms trying to get away. All of a sudden white hot stinging pain erupted in your arms, as the kid quite literally tried to claw his way out of your grasp, prompting you to hold him even tighter, while also trying not to hurt him in the process.

“I know, I know, love” you huffed, your voice strained with pain “but this is for your own good.” you ended your sentence and immediately plunged the syringe in his little arm. 

He screamed, your heart breaking for him, but as the medicine was pumped into his bloodstream he slowly calmed down. 

“Okay, this seems to have worked.” you sighed “Let’s check, shall we?”

The thermometer said that his temperature was indeed going down. Waiting a few minutes you checked again and again, realizing it had indeed lowered quite a bit, but had eventually stagnated on a temperature still high enough to be considered a fever.

“I’m going to have to do this again, alright kid?” he cooed in response, his eyes starting to shut from exhaustion “I’m sorry.”

You very carefully poured another small dose back inside the dispenser and administered it in his arm again, him barely squealing. After checking his temperature again just to be sure you realized it had lowered and he was safe again. He settled in your arms, nuzzling into your collarbone, and instantly fell asleep.

With the kid still in your arms, you carefully scooted back to near Din’s bunk, but you had no strength left in you to actually get up and set him in bed. Instead you just slumped against the wall, your head tilted back as you let out a sigh. A sigh turned into two, which turned into small hiccups, which in turn turned into full blown sobbing. Your whole body shook with the intensity of it, tears of frustration and of tiredness steadily falling and accumulating on the back of your hand where you were biting into in order not to let out any sounds that could potentially wake him up.

You looked down at the green child in your arms, his face so peaceful, if only slightly paler than usual, and smiled softly at him. The sight of him no longer distressed was enough to calm you. Without even attempting to clean the tear tracks from your face, you slumped fully into the wall, letting a much overdue slumber overtake you.

Din slowly made his way back to the Crest, almost dragging his feet. Obviously, the man he had sought out to meet had required him to do some maker awful task to, in the end, not even have the information he asked for.

“Jedi are hard to find these days, Mando. Even harder than mandalorians.” he had said, which made Din clench his fists really hard in order not to just beat the guy to a pulp. But that actually made him stop and rethink his actions. 

With the stunt this weirdo just pulled, he realized he couldn’t trust just anyone in the galaxy. No one other than mandalorians. While, yes, mandalorians were hard to come across nowadays, especially after The Great Purge of Mandalore, maybe they could help find a Jedi somewhere, as mandalorians tended to have lots of important connections all over the galaxy (it saddened him to think that he could no longer rely on his Tribe as he didn’t know where most of them were, and it saddened him even more to admit it was his fault they were scattered around).

So, while very tired and desperate for a shower and to hop into bed, he was very eager to get home to you and the kid and tell you all about his new plan, to search for mandalorians. He already had an idea where to start. Wait. Home. Since when had he begun associating the Crest with home? Before it was just ‘the ship’. Now though…

When the ship came to view he sighed in relief and content. While the ramp lowered, however, he started getting a weird feeling in his chest, that something wasn’t quite right. Stepping inside the Crest only made his worry grow: the hull was a mess, it honestly looked like a hurricane had swept over the place and, worst of all, his weapons cabinet was open. And the place was quiet; it wasn’t usually this quiet in the middle of the day with an over energetic kid around.

He unholstered his blaster and carefully walked around looking for you. He didn’t have to search for long: near his bunk, a few steps away from a mess of things (a blade of his, he noted, next to a spilled over cup of a viscous green fluid), you were slumped against the wall, your knees bent close to your chest, slightly falling to one side, with your head hung down.

Din rushed forward and cupped your cheeks, checking you over for any injuries. The first thing he noticed was that the bags under your eyes looked slightly more pronounced, making your face look more hollow. Then he noticed the scratches on your forearms, blood beginning to dry, accompanied by small blisters. His face scrunched up in worry and anger as he wondered what had happened while he was away, while he wasn’t here to protect you. His fussing over you made you stir.

“Hm, Din?” you asked in a small voice, your eyes cracking open to look at him.

“Hey, Cyar’ika.” he almost whispered back “It’s me. Who did this to you?”

“Wha’…?”

“Who did this” he gripped one of your arms carefully “to you?”

“The kid.” 

That made him still completely.

“The kid?”

“He was ill.”

Only then did he notice the small green lump resting between your torso and knees, carefully cradled against your chest, snoring softly. That’s when it clicked. The kid had probably kept you awake and on your feet for a while looking after him. He probably got fussy and accidentally hurt you while you were trying to take care of him.

“Oh, Cyar’ika. When was the last time you had a proper night of sleep?” 

“Dunno.” your words were slurred “Before you left, I guess.”

Even if you couldn’t see it, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come back.”

“He needed me.” you said decisively, before rambling almost self-consciously “You were busy, didn’t wan’ worry you. I-” you sighed and gave up trying to explain “He needed me.”

He felt his heart swell on his chest. You exhausted yourself because you put the kid’s safety and well-being, and his own peace of mind, over your own needs. The love he felt for you only grew even more.

“Come on” he said while sliding an arm under your knees and the other behind your back, your head resting on his chestplate “Let’s get you to bed.”

While he carefully laid you down he took note of your attire, his cheeks warming when he realized you were wearing one of his shirts, sleeves rolled halfway up your injured forearms (what can he say, he found forearms of any kind very attractive).

You rolled in your side, your eyes focusing on your surroundings.

“This isn’t my bed.”

“No,” he said, sweeping a stray strand of hair away from your eyes “it’s mine.”

“But-”

“No buts. Sleep.”

You sighed contentedly, snuggling the kid close to your chest, falling asleep almost instantly.

Din stared at the sight before him, a shy smile hanging on his lips under the helmet: you, curled up on his bunk, holding the kid close. It warmed his chest inside.

Yeah, he thought. He was home.