#hopefully ill draw something else soon

[xx-just-a-demon-xx]

get out of my head

click for full image/better quality

[animalinvestigator]

dark spore kids

[vibingandsimping]

I always feel so awkward/flustered requesting things, but the bg3 brain rot is so real. Could I ask for specifically Gale’s, and/or also anyone else of your choice (if you want obvs), like reaction to a virgin!Tav, like never had more than a peck on the hand or cheek inexperienced? I’m just absolutely feral over a shy, never been kissed Tav and companions~~~

Tav is just like me, fr. I appreciate you pushing your comfort zone and asking. Never feel ashamed to request something on my blog. <3

I liked this idea so will count it towards my second follower goal special. Funny how both of them ended up being Gale requests, honestly. Attempted to keep it gender neutral.

Word count: Around 2,000

Forewarnings: Tooth-rotting fluff, partial loss of virginity, oral (receiving), undergarment stealing, porn with little plot.

Gale, himself, had been quite inexperienced before Mystra. He just had himself so deeply rooted in his books and studies he thought the time was… wasted. It wasn’t that he couldn’t seek a partner, no, he just didn’t fare the effort. Mystra sought him out and how in the hells could he turn a literal goddess down? That relationship burned and crashed. Honestly, he was thankful for it now. He met you. You struck him like no other. You were more than Mystra. So when feelings reciprocated? Gale was elated.

He judged on your nerve that you either found him stunning, or, you lacked experience. He thought the latter. Whenever he held your hand and gazed into your eyes you seemed to shake. It was cute. His palm cupping your cheek and you’d flush so deeply he’d fear you suddenly fell ill. Often times, you’d break it off before things escalated beyond a hand holding or a gentlemanly kiss. Gale didn’t take to it harshly, at first. He yearned for your skin, your lips, your touch. He tried to make that clear in his language. Hands reaching for you more often, bodies closing the distance. He’d never push too far, though. Gale’s shame would be immense if he scared you.

Some gentle probing finally pulled some truth from you, one evening. You were a virgin. Never even having been kissed before. He wasn’t sure whether to comfort you or take a primal hunger in the idea of being your first. Lips and body, hopefully. He brushed it off initially, saying that he’d tend to your needs when you were ready. His words lingering in the air as he made it apparent that he craved you. Lusted and loved, in every sense. You nearly combusted and stammered. Gods, you were going to be his ruin. Mystra, forgive him but he believed you more enchanting than she ever was.

The first time he tasted your lips was under the guise of moonlight. Northern lights dancing in the sky as the moment you shared tender. You relaxed in the privacy and comfort of him. He bore his heart to you that night. Explaining his fears- his worries and his longing. It was shocking to see you make the first move, your hand cupping his face this time. You drew him in and he closed the distance. He swore he was flying when he pressed against the plush of your lips. Moving in and out, feeling the breath of each other dance along skin. His hand reached out and rested on your knee. You covered it with your own, grasping it in your hold. Fingers interlocked and he took the initiative to deepen the moment. His tongue flicked against your lips and the whimper that followed made him shiver.

As soon as it happened, he pulled away with a pant. Doe-brown eyes searching your expression as his mind raced. “I apologize if I am taking things too far or too fast. Your beauty strikes me and all I wish is for this moment to last an eternity.” You laugh, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Then, you shake your head and draw him in closer. “No, it’s okay. I think i’m ready. I want you, Gale.” His nostrils flare at the words and he steels himself, watching you intently. Nerve trickled in your voice but there was no outward hesitancy in your desires. He sits for a moment and soaks everything in. The satisfaction and sight of you presenting yourself to him. Vulnerable and so willing. He trailed his free hand to your shoulder and gently pushed you onto the grass. Intertwined hand next to your head as he claims your lips once more.

You could only lay and enjoy the sensation he was giving you. His fingers tickling down your shoulder to your chest. He was more than happy to lead you in this dance of pleasure. It would pave a path into many nights where you could enjoy each other. He’d be able to forget what it was like imagining your flesh. His tongue parted your lips and licked at your own tongue. You exhaled a sharp breath through your nostrils, sloppily trying to reciprocate. He smirked a little and continued to guide you as his hand lowered to where your sleep-shirt rested at your hips. His fingers were a little cold from the air as he slipped underneath it to feel your stomach. Gale parted from your lips to your jaw, continuing his love there down to your neck. Arousal from the touch of another was strange- but definitely not unwelcome. Gods, no, it’s so welcome. Your thighs clenched as he kissed over a particularly sensitive spot of your neck. Seemingly noticing your shift, he nibbles and sucks on it. The sensation causes you to gasp and writhe underneath him.

His palm presses flat on your stomach, using his strength to keep you still. Once he finds enough satisfaction after leaving a hickey, his lips trail down to your shoulder. A final kiss is left and he lifts himself to meet your gaze. His lips are wet and a tad swollen as his lids are halved. The sight made your loins tingle. It spoke all lust and admiration. He took such pleasure in watching and feeling you succumb to his touch. He nods downward at you, gesturing to your shirt and you nod in return. With the confirmation, he slips your shirt over your head and soaks the sight of you topless in. You can feel him shake a little as he hovers over your body. He lowers himself and slides downward to plant kisses against your collarbone. They follow to the middle of your ribs until he’s level with your nipples. He looks upwards through his eyebrows as he wraps his lips around one. You keen- arching your back as he suckles while his fingers tend to the neglected.

You hardly notice when his lips meet your lower stomach. Reaching to your pelvis as he slowly works your pants down your legs. You help him by shimmying your hips- and he groans in satisfaction when the skin is revealed. His hands contact your thighs and hold you down while he continues kissing along your pelvis- tickling the undergarments you wore. Your breath hitched and fingers twitched at the grass underneath you. Torn between admiring the sky or him as he worked your body so beautifully. A nibble caught your daze and you whimpered. He parted and cherished in the kisses and little marks he’d left. “Love,” he whispered and you craned your neck to look at him, “It is not too late to stop. I won’t force this upon you.” Admittedly, you paused for a moment and stared at him. Smiling and reaching out, his face was cupped in your hand. “No. I want this.” He visibly perked.

“Then, may I?” His fingers slipped under the waistband and tugged. You nodded with a twinkle of amusement. The cold air on your sensitive flesh made you hiss- but he was quick. Fingers and tongue meeting with little hesitance. You jerked at the sensation and he simply hummed, easing you down. It seemed he waited a moment for you to adjust before working his magic (pun intended). His tongue licked and worked you in circles while his fingers explored the flesh around. Your thighs, your rear- anything he could touch. He was keen to listen to your whimpers and observe your movements. He’d stop when you’d flinch and he’d continue when you moaned. Quite honestly, the coil in your stomach twisted and wound faster than you’d anticipate. He collected the mix of your arousal and his saliva onto his fingers. They circled your entrance and gently prodded, allowing you time to recognize his desire through the haze that was pleasure. It didn’t come easy when he started to push them in- no, you tensed and cried out. Gale continued working your sex while his spare hand caressed your flesh comfortingly. Once he was past the first ring- everything began to slowly ease.

His eyes watched you carefully as he slowly began to explore the inside of you. You were thankful for how patient he was being. Stopping whenever it seemed to overwhelm you and continuing when the stillness became unbearable. It was a few minutes before you could finally find a deeper pleasure in the touch rather than the discomfort or pain. He hummed approvingly against your sensitive parts- and you whined. His fingers were relatively thick but mostly long. They searched inside you until your body writhed as he brushed against a spot that made your eyelids flutter. It was over after that, he didn’t miss a heartbeat adjusting his tune to increasing the intensity of his mouth and tongue while abusing it with his fingers. You couldn’t contain the depraved sounds you made after that. Gripping at whatever you could; settling on his hair with tight white knuckles. Breaths were shallow as everything came to a crescendo and- crashed. It crashed hard. You were a writhing mess under him as a strangled cry cut from your throat.

Gale happily licked and cleaned up any mess you made as he worked you through your orgasm. Thighs clenching and unclenching around his head as he milked you of all you’re worth. He pulled away when the brink of overstimulation set in, wiping at his face with a grin-eating smirk. You lay like a fish out of water, riding the high and twitching with aftershocks. The man curled up beside you and cooed comfortingly in your ear while you recovered. You could feel his erection press into your skin through his robe but he paid no mind. He laid with you for however long until you could breathe and think with some sort of clarity. Recognizing that, he spoke. “Beautiful, truly beautiful. I have craved to see that for ages now. Yet, nothing my imagination could supply would have compared to it.” He laughed softly while you melted at the sound. “Do you need some… erm-“ You gestured towards the mass against your leg. He blinked, looked downward and smiled bashfully. “No,” he claimed and you blinked in shock. “I wore you out thoroughly with that. I will be fine- there are opportunities ahead. It will make it all the sweeter. Besides, I want you to cry my name out next time.” He shushed any rebuttal you had with a kiss. Soft yet passionate- with the aftertaste of you on his lips.

He grabbed your discarded garments and began to wipe the rest of the mess from between your thighs. You flinched and shivered at the touch of the highly-alert flesh. He kissed your ear tenderly to reassure you before curling the fabric into a ball and pocketing it. You gave him a pointed look- questioning. “Keepsake.” He muttered with a blush. A shiver ran down your spine at the perversion of the act. Yet, it made you feel so desired all the same. “Do you need anything? Food or water?” His eagerness to confirm your comfort made your chest swell. You shook your head and claimed you only wanted to relax with him. Gale visibly softened at that, almost awestruck. He assisted you back into your clothing and fixed your sex-messed hair. The night was still after that. Wrapped in his arms as his breath washed over you from the proximity. His fingers danced along your skin and traced unknown shapes. Everything felt as close to perfect as you’ve gotten in… a long while. You knew you couldn’t stay there the entire night. It just felt right to enjoy the rest of the moment with him til you had to return. Return to the madness that was your current life.

For now, you could forget the tadpole. You could forget anything that wasn’t the feeling of his warm body pressed to yours and the afterglow of everything that occurred.

[illusioncanthurtme]

What exactly is your version on dib like? I mean, we all know that he’s a creep and a weirdo, but what’s his story? (Also I absolutely love your work, you’re super talented)

SO glad you asked.

In all seriousness, I don't have any set story for him. He's just dib, but in his early 20s. The main difference between him and young dib (besides appearance obviously) is that he's had some emotional development. Keyword: some. People like to use the word maladjusted when talking about dib, and that does apply to my interpretation. He doesnt get out much, and he has some unhealthy behaviors (ahem obsession ahem) But he HAS emotionally matured since being a kid. He's a bit nicer, and he's gotten used to some of the mistreatment/bitterness, and shrugs it off with a smile.

As for a "story," I just like to imagine him in circumstances with the other characters, and ill focus on whatever I find funny or interesting. It's all for fun, I like to Doodle random plots in my head, but I'm not going to do or make anything with them. But here's where my thoughts tend to land most of the time:

He HAS moved out of his dad's place. I initially had him still at home, (because I still live at home, and I tend to project onto characters), but after giving it some thought, I realized that dib with his own place was maybe more believable. I don't think he'd want to be in his dad's shadow. This way he can do his parascience in peace and spread out. SO he lives in a downtown apartment. Gaz is his upstairs neighbor! (this way they still live together, but also not really. They kind of have roomate vibes. They see each other a lot) it is a very small apartment, the kind with a kitchen area, a bathroom, and one room for your living space/bed.

(Random idea I'm toying with that kind of doesn't make sense but also?? Whatever: SOMEHOW- dib built a secret basement under the apartment complex, and you access it by entering a code into the elevator buttons. It's his lab. DONT FUCKING ASK how he managed to DIG A BASEMENT - because I don't fucking know. But with how stupid people are in iz, I'm sure he figured out a way to be discreet or fool people??? Thats where hes got taks ship. He painted it blue)

Uhhhh what else...

I like to imagine 2 potential scenarios, and in both, zim had gone missing for a decade. In one, he comes back. In the other, dib sets out to find him. There is another part to that I'm gonna leave out, because I want to draw something and show you that way. Hopefully I'll draw that soon.

Ok, enough rambling now. If I have more thoughts to add on, maybe I'll reblog and add them.

But THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!! I was so pleasantly surprised to see this. I wasn't expecting to have an opportunity to ramble and I am super thankful, and honestly flattered that you'd be interested :')💞 (and thank you so much!! 🥺)

[copias-sewer-rat]

If you still do asks, (you can say no!), but could I request a Mm something with the different Papas taking care of/comforting reader who deals with digestive issues?

(I deal with GERD, acid reflux and some days I literally get symptoms/pain so bad I just curl up and don’t wanna do anything 🥺)

Hi darling! I do asks of course! It might take me a bit to write them because I don’t have much free time lately but I get them done in the end.

I am so so sorry you have to deal with that... to (hopefully) make you feel better here you have the Papas taking care of a reader that deals with digestive issues.

(I tried to make this as GN as possible, hope you don’t mind, I wasn’t sure if you were asking for a m/m relationship so I didn’t want to risk it.)

I. Primo

- Primo is an old man, that we know, but with age there also comes wisdom. He is no stranger to chronic pains or illnesses. His experience has taken him to create what most siblings of sin and even his brothers consider to be the most infallible methods to fight any sickness or health disruptions.

- For sure he has also dealt with gastrointestinal issues, not all foods that he eats stay the same in his stomach as when he was younger. Nonetheless, he has learned what things to avoid.

- Primo had helped you in the past, to the point of considering each other very close, even intimate. You had tried everything he had suggested to you previously, but lately your pain had become unbearable, you needed something else.

- When you come to his quarters in search of a “magical cure” for your pain, skin pale and glossy eyes, he leaves everything that he is doing in that moment to take care of you.

- He doesn’t want you to move an inch so he lets you sleep on his bed. He lends you one of his sleeping gowns, big, long and fresh so you feel all the comfort.

- Before that however, Primo makes you dinner in his private kitchenette. He knows the importance of an appropriate diet when dealing with those sorts of problems. His go to “remedy” is water with non-citrus fruits, he will add whichever fruit you prefer. He will also make you whichever food you might want (but it need to be appropriate for your condition so mostly salads or oats).

-Primo will make you sit on his lap and will feed you small bits so you can digest your food properly, whispering how good you are doing and telling you that you will feel better soon. With the dinner he also gives you one of his most potent remedies, one that also makes you sleepy.

-You need to stay awake for a bit making your digestion before going to bed so Primo will ask for you to tell him how your day was or any anecdote that comes to mind. He will listen attentively drawing circles on your back until you fall asleep in his arms, finally taking you to his bed for a good night of rest.

II. Secondo

-Secondo doesn’t know much about gastrointestinal issues. He smokes, drinks and eats all types of food and in such quantities that if done by any normal person it would leave them in a comatose state.

-However, when you come to him in search of comfort, he will research everything he can about your condition and how to make you feel better.

-He is hesitant about helping you because he considers himself to be a bit of a brute, but seeing you in such state gives him the courage to try his best.

-Secondo will follow down to the t every single tip he finds online. Whatever food might help you he will cook, whatever medicine might make you feel better he will go and find.

-If you cannot move much he will carry you anywhere and help you with whichever task: showering, bathing, brushing your hair, whatever you might need.

-Like Primo, he will carry you to his own bed to rest, hugging you, a pillow between you two, pressed on your stomach to alleviate as much pain as possible.

-If by any chance you wake up in the middle of the night with pain or in need to vomit he will be by your side, pressing a cold towel to your forehead, rubbing your back and arms in slow motions which makes your blood move.

-He will reassure you that everything will be fine, that he is not going anywhere and that the pain will pass.

-You believe him of course, how could you not when he smiles at you so warmly and with such confidence. His positiveness rubs on you and some of the pain fades away.

-The rest of the night you sleep soundly in his arms.

III. Terzo

-Poor Terzo doesn’t know what to do to help you, so he calls Omega to carry you around.

-He goes to Primo for help. Terzo bursts in first, screaming pleads with exaggerated stereotypical Italian hand motions. If you were not in such pain you would surely laugh at his antics.

-Omega is very tender with you, he moves slowly so as to not make you feel worse.

-Primo instructs Terzo in what to do, how to make you feel better and what medicines might be the best.

-If Primo told him 5 medicines that might help you, Terzo is going to get the five of them.

-As instructed by Terzo, Omega will carry you to Terzo’s bed after you have taken your medicine.

-They will let you sleep as much as you want and if you ask, both of them will join you in your slumber.

-Your body will be pressed against Terzo’s and Omega’s chests. You would feel like a cat nested in a fort of pillows, thankful for all the contact and pressure.

-The attention makes you forget most of your pain, only leaving the usual reflex. When those occur, Terzo will squeeze you tighter, signing Italian lullabies to you until you go back to sleep, safe and sound next to him.

IV. Copia

-Like Terzo, Copia is stressed™ at seeing you in pain.

-He sweeps you off your feet and takes you to the infirmary in a rush. He almost trips a couple of times and he got lost a few times also, which wasn’t the best for your condition but he apologized profusely every time something happened that made you wince.

-He rushes every nurse there to get you anything that might help.

-The nurses can’t help but roll their eyes at how stressed he is. He is making such a fuzz that the nurses threaten him with kicking him out if he does not behave.

-The nurses recommend that you stay the night in the infirmary, so of course Copia is going to stay with you.

-He takes an armchair and places it next to your bed.

-To make you feel better he sneaks in one of his rats for you to pet and cuddle with.

-As he feels you drifting off because of the medicine, he will also try to sleep in his chair, his hand extended to hold yours during the entirety of the night.

-If at any point you wake up in pain or in need to vomit, just like Secondo, Copia will be there for you, helping you in any way possible.

-After that he will even join you in the very small infirmary bed, holding you close, rubbing your stomach so as to try to ease your pain.

- You drift off to the feeling of loving kisses on the back of your neck, feeling so much better.

----

Hope this could help a bit, also hope you get better soon darling, lots of love to you🖤

For now my ask box is always open so do not hesitate to ask for something you might want to read.

[raeygina-george]

1, 7, 8, 10, 21 & 25 for the ask game :3

1: What are you reading now?

uhhhhhhhhh i mean currently at this exact moment im rereading this killugon fic (hopefully linked the right one) because. im bored

as for actual books... um..... i read the first 2 books in the chaos walking trilogy so at some point soon ill start actually reading the final one askfhskjds

7: Draw something that makes you happy, don't worry about your art skills!

i sketched hyuna & ivan several days ago and i don't like how they came out at all so i wasn't going to post them BUT the prompt said not to worry about that and it's on my main account so you know what who cares

8: Name something you are looking forward to?

something else im looking forward to is seeing my friends again because i haven't really seen any of them in quite a while but we will hang out soon :D

10: Favorite animal?

dogs... horses... orcas... etc

21: What is something you have been meaning to try?

ive been attempting this messy, painterly style of art for so long but i keep making it CLEAN because i like keeping all my layers separate 😭😭😭😭 one day ill get my shit together (and by shit i mean layers)

25: Talk about something you love?

ummmmmmmmm i love playing card games and shuffling & quite a while ago i learned this cool shuffle called a cascade shuffle & i just recently realized that i can now make it look good consistently so i think im gonna try learning more cool card tricks :D

as for talking about actual card games, a couple months ago me and one of my friends invented a game called Goofy War, which is just war but you can do whatever you want. a non-exhaustive list of the things we've done: capitalism, communism, gay marriage, crusades against the gay marriage, cults, arson, a messenger from god, betrayal, two cards who were sent to hell to go study under Satan and get their powers up, necromancy, a literal genocide, etc

[aliveinacoffin]

request for maybe an all might fic of him neglecting (not paying any attention) to his daughter. And she’s depressed in the inside (but even more after sir night eyes death) but outside she is “happy and cheerful”. But then she just gives up on her looks and behaviour and then someone notices and tells him and then he finally acknowledges her and when he asks what’s wrong she finally snaps at him. (Sorry if this is long)

That's okay! Are you the person who requested the same for the aizawa fic? Your ideas are so good but so sad 🥲 I hope you're not going through a tough time :( also, I was unsure if you wanted it to be in readers pov, but it was already too late when I started, oops T_T

Important To You

Being the daughter of such an important man was already hard, but after he gets deathly ill and the death of his best advisor? Forget about it!

TW: Neglect, parental abuse, depressive episode, mentioned eating problems, bullying, death,

Being the illegitimate and unwanted daughter of Toshinori Yagi wasn't all too bad. He was often times caring and meek, not really knowing how to be a dad to the daughter he never wanted.

But being the daughter of All Might? It was the worst thing in the world.

It made you feel guilty to feel that way. You knew his job was important, he had saved hundreds of lives every day for fucks sake! But he used to always be All Might. He had never been Toshinori, ever.

He used to never be home, always at his agency or out working. He used to just wire you money to let you fend for yourself if he remembered. Sir Night Eye, or as you knew him, Uncle Mirai, has been there from the beginning to make sure you were fed and made sure you were alive and safe every day. Ever since you were little, he would send someone from his agency to pick you up from school or from home to take you to his office.

Ever since your father's accident, his fight with All For One that left him chronically hurt, he had been spending more time at home. But it was all for naught since he just spent time locked away in his room or trying some new healing technique to try and get him back to his prime. He was still just as distant as always, but instead of the distance that separated you, it was the emotional availability.

Currently, you were sitting in your uncle-not-uncle's office doing school work while he typed away at his computer. Apparently, he was working with the Hero Commission for some secret project. Whatever it was, you knew it was serious business. Usually, he'd spill the beans to you, hoping that Hero business would rub off on you to give you more smarts or something like that. But you had never been usually interested in stuff like that, so most of the time, it was a lost cause.

But this time you were extremely interested, but he just wouldn't tell you.

"Please? Why won't you tell me? You know I won't tell anybody else, not like I could anyway." You muttered pitifully, scooting your school desk over to him. It was one he got for you when you were small, and he just continuously upgraded it as you got older. Faded drawings could still be seen, the main one still as bright as ever.

It was a stick figure of you and Mirai holding hands in an office, while All Might was a small figure in the clouds.

Spread out on your desk were math papers. You were a second year in a reasonably priced high school. What? Did you expect the quirkless daughter of the technically quirkless number one hero to go to hero school? Or even a prestigious high school? Hah, in your dreams.

"Because I can't. This is a very important mission. Hopefully, it will be over soon." Mirai said, his stiff form diligently working.

You sighed, hitting your head on your desk. Looking at your homework made your head spin, so you packed it up and pushed your desk to the back of his office. You grabbed the chair from the desk behind him and pulled up to sit next to him.

He immediately glared at you and exited all his open tabs. He called out to you, scolding you. You groaned and got up to face the back of his computer.

Mirai sighed and shook his head, mumbling a thank you as he reopened his work.

You took out your phone to play around on it, and you could feel his harsh gaze on you. You looked up, and half expected that he would tell you to 'smile more' or 'try to be more funny', but that's not what he said at all.

"What have you eaten today?" His voice was stern, almost cold in the way he said it.

You've always been in the middle of the weight class, with nearly childish features you inherited from your father. But you have never been the weight you could've been, always just falling short. Like always.

"Food, I ate today." You mumbled, looking away. Lying wasn't that hard for you. You lied all the time. Yes, I'm fine! Oh, don't worry about me, I'm just not hungry. Yes, my life is great! But when it came to your uncle? There was always a guilt there, like you were committing egregious sins when you lied about your homework or how home was like. The pain and squirming guilt outmatched the grumbling of your empty stomach.

"I asked what you ate today. You need to take better care of your body, you're a growing teenager, you must eat the proper meals to grow." Mirai scolded you, quickly opening an email to send some intern to get you food.

"It just slipped my mind." You shrugged, looking down like a pouting child.

"Then set reminders." He countered, not caring about your sour mood.

Sometime later, Mirio's shining face came in with a hearty meal and a large bottle of water.

___________________________________________

The mood was off, and everyone could tell, and you were no fool to it.

"Why's everyone so tense?" You asked, flinging your backpack at the entryway. Dragging a nearby chair to sit in front of Mirai's desk, taking your usual spot.

"Do you remember the case we're working on?" Mirai asked, green hair mussed and slightly greasy.

"The one you won't tell me about? Yeah." You scooted closer to his desk, leaning over in anticipation.

Today had been shit. There had been a presentation in class about your family history. Of course, you tried to get info from your father, but that ended up being pointless.

"Dad?" Your voice was small, and the knock you landed on your father's bedroom door was smaller.

There was rustling, on the other end. "Yes, hun?" He called out to you, somewhere in the depths of his room. Not bothering to even face you to talk to you.

"I uhm-I have an assignment for class, and I need your help." You said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. You held the paper in your hands, the edges crinkling slightly as your nerves got the best of you.

"Oh? Why don't you ask Mirai, I'm sure he's much better equipped for your school assignments." You could hear the sound of papers hitting a desk, and a feeling of sadness filled you. They were probably lesson plans for that one student at U.A., the one he had been training the past couple of months. He was giving that one random kid more attention than you had gotten from him your whole life.

"Because for this one, I need to ask about my family history. It's about gathering information about my parents and grandparents and so on, it's to show our research skills. It's a summative grade." You explained. A large part of you was in denial, there was no way he'd say no, right?

"W-well-" Suddenly, his thin form peeked out the door, a kind smile on his face. "I'm really busy at the moment, how about later we can go through the closet and try to find some old pictures, huh?" Your father reassured.

"O-oh, okay!" You nodded fervently, trying to hide your disappointment. You went into the apartment living room, and sat down on your couch, pulling out the expectations and requirements for the assignment.

Later never came.

You did the same next day, asking him to help you, and each day was the same. Tomorrow alright? Oh later, is that okay? Each and every time, later never came. Timidly, you asked him why he kept pushing you off, trying to stress just how important this assignment was to your grade.

"Oh! I'm so sorry honey, my side has just been acting up, and I have so much work to do that it must've slipped my mind. I'm so sorry, how about I make it up to you? We'll get ice cream later, how about that?" Your father promised, his two bunny ears bouncing as he bowed slightly as he apologized.

"A-alright, as long as we get my assignment done." You said, trying to sound stern. Your tears threatening to spill out.

Later. Never. Came.

When it came time to present your assignment in front of the whole class, you were humiliated beyond belief and got the worst grade out of the class.

Back to the present, Uncle Mirai sighed and looked over at you from his computer.

"Well, we're finally making a move on them tomorrow. I have been doing extensive research, and I can only strive for the best outcome." Mirai was looking down on you, but you knew he was trying to comfort you.

You had gotten wind of how serious this project was from wandering the halls of the building, seeing how solemn and serious people looked, and overhearing hushed whispers made you somewhat aware of what was happening. But not only that, the look of your uncle's appearance became more and more disheveled the more you saw him, just seeing how overworked he was.

"That's great! I'm sure this will help the agency's notoriety right?" You trusted your uncle's abilities, you knew how strong he was, how smart and capable both he and his team was. You didn't have a shadow of a doubt that he'd be fine. He had to be, after all. You had no one else but him. You didn't have friends, growing up around your uncle and absent father didn't exactly give you the best people skills. Everyone either thought you were weird, or a freak. Especially as a kid when you tried to brag that All Might was your father.

"But he is! All Might is my dad!" You exclaimed, tears filling your eyes as you stomped on the ground.

"Then how come you don't have a cool quirk like him? How come you don't have any pictures of him? How come he never picks you up from school or shows up to school?" The other kids jeered, a small group of other kindergarteners surrounding, you trapping you.

"Because he's busy! My uncle just says I'm a late bloomer!"

"More like a lame loser! Stop lying for attention." You felt a pair of hands shove you to the ground, and the group dispersed.

The rest of your childhood was the same, you gave up around middle school trying to convince people. The bullying just became too much for you. Around that same time, you stopped eating as much, and stopped caring about your appearance, what you wore, and what you did.

Your hair was long and often tangled, the ends light from all the damage done to your hair, your constant eyebags deep and dark, your unhealthy weight from either the lack of food or the lack of proper food. The only reason you even bothered to eat was to make sure you didn't upset your uncle, he was the one to make dentist appointments, hair appointments, and doctors appointments. He was the only one who ever came to important ceremonies for school, sometimes even going to parent-teacher conferences for you, he was the one to hold you after school while you cried, the one always there for you. Your uncle was the only one who even cared about you.

"The justice we will bring will be greater than the fame we will gain." He nodded, piercing yellow eyes boring into you. As if he could read your mind and not the future, he turned fully to you, giving you his full undivided attention.

"I promise it'll all work out in the end, you're a strong and capable girl. Now tell me, did Yagi ever help you with your assignment?" Mirai asked though both of you knew the answer.

You turned away from him, trying to hide the embarrassed tears that came crawling to the surface. "I failed, and now I barely have a C in that class."

He sighed and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. He groaned and looked at you with annoyed eyes. "I should've known."

That made you giggle.

___________________________________________

"Well, we're finally making a move on them tomorrow."

Today.

After school you immediately raced home, sending a text to Centipeder or Moashi, that you wouldn't need a ride to the office. There was no point anyway, your uncle wasn't there to keep you company.

You remember the first conversation you had with him, a funny misunderstanding that was the first development of your Kind Guardian/Kid relationship.

"I just don't understand." He said from the front of the car one day, unprompted.

"Uhm, what..do you not understand?" You piped up after a beat of silence, confused.

"well, for Sir Nighteye to even acknowledge someone, they must make him at least smile. But I haven't heard you tell even a pun to him, and yet he is very open with you. I am...also confused about the nature of your relationship." Moashi confessed, eyes constantly going back and forth between you and the road.

"O-oh, I'm his niece. And I'm...not very funny, I'm too awkward to try and tell him a joke every day." Your voice was weak and trailed off, embarrassment filling you. But you had told the truth, you struggled to even ask to go to the bathroom, let alone try the daunting task of trying to tell a joke. He hadn't made you do it when you were too young to tie your shoes, why suddenly start now?

"ah, I apologize for my unprofessionalism." He asked, embarrassed himself too.

Since then, you felt a little bit more comfortable around him, even if most days you sat in the back looking out the window.

Still, none of that mattered when you turned on the TV, feeling like a little get as you sat right in front of the screen.

"Oh sweetie, please don't sit so close to the screen, it's bad for your eyes." You could hear your father's voice behind you.

You didn't even bother to pull your attention from the screen when you spoke to him, "You know that's actually not true. Plus, Uncle Mirai has his raid today, and I need to know the result." You quickly surfed through channels, and you jumped when you found the one you needed. A helicopter was circling above an inconspicuous-looking house, absolutely swarmed with heroes.

"That's today? I hope young Midoriya will be okay." Toshinori mumbled, and it made you glare at your TV screen without realizing it. Your emotions were on the fritz, you hadn't eaten since yesterday, hadn't slept, hell you hadn't even drunk water. Too nervous to do anything other than go through the motions of life. Your head hurts, your eyes stung, and you felt like absolute shit, but you needed to know.

You heard your father sit down behind you, but you didn't move an inch to give him a better view.

Then, it began.

___________________________________________

They won.

The heroes won, and they arrested all members of the Shie Hassaikai yakuza. But there were heroes so gravely injured that they needed to be life-lined out, and when they zoomed in on the victims' faces, listing off their names, both you and your estranged father ran to the car to race to the hospital.

Normally, your father was a strict follower of the rules, especially when it came to the laws of the road. But at this moment, the speed limit just didn't exist.

Hell, you guys were pushing a hundred while on your way to the hospital, the ride deathly silent. You were too terrified to speak, and your father remained unreadable to you.

The ride to the hospital was the most unbearable experience of your life.

___________________________________________

You ran ahead of your father, not even helping him get out of the car as you burst into the hospital. Hurridly, you ran up to the receptionist, speedily saying your name and asking for Mirai Sasaki. She pointed you to his secluded room, and you didn't even bother to thank her as you took off at top speed.

It felt like your world was crashing down, your breath coming in short, and panicked. You could barely breathe, barely think, the only thing you could do was run.

Your lungs burned when his room came into sight, a scream was worming its way from your throat, your heart and chest burned absolutely alit with fear.

Some part of your mind registered a green-haired boy and a blonde boy in the room, but it didn't matter as you slammed the door open.

A sob forced its way out your mouth when you opened the door, your eyes clouding with tears when you drank in the sight of your uncle. "Mirai!" That scream tore its way out of you in a voice you couldn't recognize as yourself.

You rushed over to his side, grasping onto the sidebars as if your life depended on it like it was the only thing keeping you here on earth.

The display of his health horrified you. His usually cunning eyes were dull and glazed over. His naked body was filled to the brim with tubes, filling the hole in the middle of his abdomen. His body was weak, the blue veins visible under his thin flesh, covered in sweat as he weakly breathed, his lungs wheezing with the strenuous task of pumping hair into his body. He looked over to you slowly, a small smile tugging across his face as if the mere act of making a minuscule smile drained what little life force he had left. His usually neat hair was mussed up, a sight people rarely saw because his appearance was the second most important thing to him.

He reached a shaking hand to you and placed it gently on yours. It was such a stark difference, the feeling of his cold and weak hand gently resting on your hand, still clenching as hard as you could next to him. Tears were freefalling now, hitting his pale arm and sliding down it. His hand trembled on top of yours, and you hurridly grasped it with both of yours to ease the shaking.

"U-uncle-y-you-" You tried to speak, but snot and tears made it difficult to speak. Your throat was tight, the feeling of thorns and barbed wire made it near impossible to even breathe.

He called out to you, voice soft and small, shushing you in an instant. "Breathe, you must calm down. You're having a panic attack." Mirai's words were shaky, and he tried his best to reassure you, even at a time like this.

"But you're-you're-" You couldn't even finish your sentence, couldn't even think of the word coming to your mind.

Dying.

He was dying.

Your uncle, the man who raised you, the man who made sure you ate every day, who made sure you had clothes, who taught you to tie your shoes, brushed your hair, and had held you on your best and worst days, Mirai Sasaki was dying.

And there was nothing to stop it.

When your father had almost died in his fight with All For One, you had been upset, sure. But Mirai had reassured you that he'd live, he even used his quirk to ease your worries, so you hadn't been as worried. Sure, it was still a deeply traumatizing event and was a hard time for you and your father. But you had Mirai, you always had Mirai.

And now he was leaving you, he was leaving you behind. The man who had replaced your father your whole life was abandoning you, and there was no way to stop it.

"Please, please don't leave me." You cried, finally managing to say words to him.

Mirai's face never faltered from his gentle smile, and his eyes crinkle slightly. "My child, please don't cry. Please don't forget your smile." He looked up at the ceiling and rested his hands on his wheezing chest. Your uncle's body completely relaxed, but he still had a smile on his face.

"When you were born, your father...did not want to keep you. Toshinori wanted to leave you at an orphanage, but I refused. I wanted you, I wanted you so badly I promised to take care of you. So I did. For the first couple of years of your life, I took complete care of you." He wheezed. "But he realized just how precious you were, so he took you back." Mirai mustered up the strength to look at you again, and it was obvious that the smile on his face was fake. "I've regretted that day every day. I should've kept you and raised you on my own. So I made sure to the best of my abilities that you were okay. But, I failed." Now, tears were falling from his eyes.

"Nno, no you didn't-" You started, voice full of panic, but he shushed you.

"Let me finish." He took a deep breath in and continued. "Every day I knew I should've kept you, it pained me to see you in such miserable conditions. Before I realized it, I had grown contempt for Toshinori. I hated seeing you in such a state, but I never wanted you to hate your father, so I just tried to help you in any way I could, and kept my anger to myself. I don't know when, but you had morphed into my own daughter over time. Maybe you always were, I'm unsure. Still, I want you to know one thing. I love you, and I always have. Please, promise me you'll live your life with a smile on your face and a kind heart, don't forget who you are." You gasped, trying to get as much air through the tears and agony.

"I promise, I swear on my life I'll honor your legacy the best I can." At this point, you were practically in the hospital bed with him, hunched over and clawing at his shoulders and hands.

"Remember to take care of yourself, live for me, and grow older than I'll ever be." Mirai shakily reached up to grasp at your face, weakly trying to wipe away your tears.

You closed your eyes, trying to appreciate and memorize his touch. "I pinky promise, I love you so much." Your eyes flew open when his touch disappeared, and your heart broke at the sound of his heart monitor flatlining.

At that moment, when nurses rushed in and your father's weak hands tried to pry you away you felt it.

Everything after that day was a blur.

Your world stopped that day.

___________________________________________

You don't remember how you got home that day, or what you did the rest of that week. Hell, even his funeral was a blur. You didn't go to school, didn't eat, didn't sleep, you didn't even leave your room. You just didn't exist anymore, like you had died with him.

Moashi had tried to contact you, calling and texting you constantly. He wanted to go over the will. His will.

But you just couldn't bring yourself to answer him, or to check your phone, or even to look over to see it.

A week or two or however long into your depressive episode, your father came into your room. He was holding a plate of food and a glass of water, looking just as bad as you.

"I brought you food." Toshinori whispered like you were ready to break at any moment. Maybe you were, or maybe it was too late, and you were already broken, instead, he was being careful of the pieces of your heart that were scattered around.

You didn't even spare him a glance, still staring at the ceiling. "I'm not hungry." You didn't even sound like you, voice rough and damaged. Vocal cords fried from unuse.

"You must eat. You cannot keep living like this. What would Mirai-" Your father started, and you shot up out of your bed.

"Stop. Don't you fucking dare use his name. You have no right to even think of him." You growled, getting up out of your messy bed. You hadn't changed your clothes from that day, your life was slowly slipping away from you, and even doing basic tasks seemed impossible. You knew you smelt, you knew you were a disgusting mess, and you could feel the grime and filth from lack o personal hygiene and care. But you just couldn't.

Your head swam from the sudden movement, your body trying to shut down on you. You felt weak and disorientated, and the constant gnawing hunger pains ate away at you. Your teeth ached, your head and body itched, your body and mind just hurt.

"Do you have any idea how horrible it was to live with you? Oh, sorry, to live by myself? I used to get bullied for trying to tell everyone you were my dad, it got so bad that I stopped talking at one point because every day people were telling me to kill myself. I used to not eat, and did you ever notice? No! Because All Might didn't have a daughter, so he was never home. He was there for every fucking person in Japan but his daughter. There were times when I didn't come home, and you didn't even notice wasn't there. Did you even care if I ate? What I do? You let me fail an assignment because it was just too much of a bother. Who do you think took care of you when you almost died? Where were you all the times I stayed home because I was sick?" Your voice was raw, and your throat burned from the agony of yelling at him. But you didn't care, you didn't even have any tears left to cry. You had nothing left.

"Mirai was always there to kiss my wounds, he came to everything. Ever wondered if I know how to play instruments? What my hobbies are? Mirai did! He encouraged me to pursue what I loved and came to all my plays, and performances, kept every drawing I made him, every craft I did." You fell to the floor, exhausted. You looked up to Toshinori Yagi, the stranger you've lived with for the past sixteen years. He was not your father, he never had been, your real father, the man who loved you unconditionally and wholeheartedly was dead. And he was never coming back.

"I hate you, I wished I had never been born to a man like you. You're not my father, you've never been my father. You should've died instead of him." You spoke your truth, glare downright murderous as you watched the horrified man in front of you. You felt no regret as he started to tear up, clutching his damaged side in pain.

You'd live up to your promises to your father, but you'd also never come to regret the words you uttered to the man who you shared blood with.

Just because you shared blood with someone, that did not automatically make them family.

___________________________________________

Holy shit;;;;; that was 4,538 words. Longest one-shot I ever fucking wrote. My computer is literally slowing down because I wrote this all on Tumblr lmaooo

Kinda don't like the ending, but I had so much fun writing this,,,, THANK YOU SO MUCH WHOEVER REQUESTED THIS, at first I was nervous because 'oh no how tf do I write this' but then it just started FLOWIN gyat dayum.

anyways, little notes incase you were wondering,,

Reader was abandoned by her mom after she was born, and mummy dearest managed to hand her back to toshi before she disappeared,,later she died pretty young, so, unfortunately, kiddo will never meet her. Toshi wanted to leave her because he couldn't deal with a child, but sir felt an instant connection with her and wanted her,,so he really did raise her but toshi saw how cute she was and was just like 'it wont be hard to raise a child right?' how wrong he was,,over time sir started to hate toshi, meaning his room isn't decked out in all might merch and isn't as harsh on deku and mirio when they come around,,if anything, kiddo made him much softer than he is in anime, because he knows what its like to be a dad(tm),, he never took her back because he didn't want her to hate toshi, so he just kept his anger to himself. (meaning he ain't creepy to bubble girl, thinking if anyone did that to his daughter hed fuckin kill them),,in his will, he left the agency to centipder so thats still the same, but he's under strict directions to train reader to one day take over the agency for her own, not caring that shes quirkless. Reader and all might will never make up, and when he dies, she will not feel regret nor sadness over his death, she will silently hate deku from the sidelines, and will be an endeavor fan (ick) ([okay sorry that want little but I love her-])

[9xyzt]

wips occuring

uys i have soooo many drawing ideas um sorry for not really posting finished art i will cook something up soon.. i just get de motivated really quickly when drawing because of wanting everything to be on model or replicating something else and i like lost my artstyle outside of how i like to shade

BUT i made like an entire google doc of drawing ideas and im constantly thinking of more that i need to add so hopefully once i get better at dr artstyle i will drop art ALSO JESUS CHRIST once i can better manage my time w schoolwork i swear ill draw cheren and black art but for now im just trying to draw what appeals to me immediately to make it a little easier SORRYYRY ill also try to reread pokespe bw and um actually continue beyond oras AND FINISH HOMESTUCK BRUH ohh mmy god ive just been waiting for the next voxus but golly ... i got kinda bored i just miss equius. My one true love. Me.

UM ANYWAY sorry for such a lengthy lore update! i should have more time this week but i need to go to bed rn and take melatonin

[bloodsworn-marshal]

Writing Prompt: Fair Word Count: 1619

Changes had begun in earnest in recent months. As peace would preside over all of Eitherys following the Final Days, the realm had begun to install measures in place to ensure prosperity amongst its people and any remaining contempt between they and their neighbors. The realm over wished to draw in a breath of respite at long last. 

No more war. No more loss. No more summonings of the eikons.

What busyness there was to be had came in the shape and form of improving their cities, their laws, the dividing gap between the social classes. Job opportunities arose at every corner. Refugees were able to choose to return to their homelands or find their place without remaining beggars on the street. Little by little, piece by piece, the Sultanate would work together to find the line that make all fair for each and every person.

Pipin, for one, had become a vital piece in terms of keeping the peace between monetarist and loyalist. His bargaining chip came not only with control over their military, but also with his negotiating and connections with the local tribes that was once held sour thanks to old monetarist’s laws. For his blood and sacrifice with keeping the talks at peace, he held much leverage when directing the discussions to a point without contention.

With his help and growing attention amongst the populace, his name had become commonplace on the average citizen’s tongue. For at long last, it would seem things were being pushed in favor of the little people. Lauded and praised, his presence gave rise to welcoming smiles and expressions of gratitude.

But also did it sow the seeds for those who would use his name for their own gains with ill intent…

---

One man in particular had begun to take advantage of Pipin Tarupin’s name. In his own visage, presenting himself as the flame general’s true father and kin. Begging for money and pity on the street-side, that his own son had abandoned him. Visiting the Hall of Flames daily to demand audience with said son for his share and acknowledgements. Each time denied or put off for a potential next, with each dismissal giving further fire for the lalafellin man to besmirch Pipin’s name further.

One thing was true: They certainly was his biological father. And nothing more. Was being the key word.

The only thing that man truly desired at this point was taking advantage of his son’s rising fame for his own use, getting coin to further fund his gambling addictions and worse yet—fund latest criminal schemes that Pipin already had a hunch was being performed in the background.

Either way, Pipin was wary to ever meet him in person nor alone without some safeguards in place. Else he’d go off something fierce against the man—he loathed him with every fiber of his being.

He knew he’d have to take care of him someday. Once and for all. And hopefully behind the bars of a gaol cell. In the deepest pits if he were lucky.

---

Just one’s luck though. No matter how hard Pipin tried to snuff out the man’s existence from his thoughts, he ended up crawling out regardless. Snaking his way in to a point where a fight would soon be had between the two.

He caught him today giving the same spiel to some passerby’s. But not just anybody of a passerby… but his eternal bonded wife of all person’s. 

Adede stood there talking to him. Clearly looking uncomfortable. His bio father happened to recognize her and was currently trying to win her favor. Give his pity party of woe is me, abandoned by prosperous son who forgot all about him, that he was successful and leaving his kin to rot. The usual rhetoric he gave to others. But specifically did he target Adede, watching her movements, laying his woes on thick.

Pipin was livid upon witnessing it from far, striding right forward to intervene before it got further out of hand. He would be having none of this.

“You are disrupting the peace of the streets yet again.” He warned as he approached, sliding up and putting himself between he and Adede. To the point where the guy could only face Pipin now.

The man groaned and whined about this and that, making excuses, that he had done nothing of the sort… same old same old before eventually walking away with a look of disdain. Pipin made certain that Adede was alright, that nothing happened in particular. To which she assured him all was fine..

…But it was not fine. And it was high time Pipin came to blows with his biological father with a heavy hand.

…

When next the man attempted to be granted meeting with the flame general, Pipin allowed for it promptly. If only to be able to get his hands on him in close quarters, where none would interfere. Not only that, he had given the order for the man to be brought in soon regardless. He was suspected of a new recent criminal investigation.

And this time they had proof.

Minutes passed and soon he was brought to Pipin’s office quarters. Huffing and raving that the soldiers had manhandled him, how dare they treat a citizen as such, so on so forth. Pipin merely gave him a look and told him to be seated. This would not take long.

“Have no mistake. I did not call you in here to listen to your prattling. I’ve heard your sob story enough times as it is. Do not try it with me.” He steepled his hands together, folding his fingers in between one another and resting his chin on the bridge. Not please at all from the looks of it.

“Then what did you call me in for, huh!? And here I thought you were finally going to accept me! Your wife sure appeared accepting, sympathizing even. Have you even told her the full truth, how you left me alone so you could cling on the coattails of another.”

“You dare assume I don’t know the actual truth?” Pipin’s eyes flared, roiling in flame. “How you sold my very name and papers for a bag of coin that wouldn’t last longer than a week’s worth of drink?”

“Don’t act as though I haven’t done the same many times over. I gave you jobs! And if trouble ever happened as it did, you always came crawling back and we’d do the same all over again.”

“Ah yes. The scams you put me up to, hmm?” His eyes were narrowing in at this point. “And you assumed I’d do the same again. Except you sold my everything to the Bloodsands. There was no coming back after that. I would have perished a pitiful death, if not for the luck of the Twelve that I was claimed before that time.”

He’d done him a favor in fact. For if that had never happened, Pipin never would have met Raubahn and bonded as they did. But that would not save him from the fact that he had sold off his son for death.

“But you didn’t!” The man crowed, acting as though it were no big deal. “And in fact, you earned much from the experience! You should be thanking me!”

At this point Pipin looked right ready for murder. Until the man had the gall to switch topics.

“Fine lady you have there, hmm? I cannot wait to meet my soon to be grandchildren. That’s my grandchild she’s got inside of her.”

“There will be no such meeting.” Pipin slammed a fist upon the desk. Glaring daggers at the other. Though Adede was yet to be showing all that much, he must have seen the signs and how she covered her stomach. “That child will have nothing to do with you. Nor will you be around for too much longer.”

“Eh? And what the hells do you mean by that!? I have my rights!”

“The rights that you sold off a long time ago?” Pipin held up a finger at this point and produced a stack of papers. “Well now it is my turn. After repeated defamation of my name and investigation upon your person, we found that you are guilty of extorting large amounts of sum from the populace. Not only that, one of your compatriots squealed on your recent ongoings. Throwing your lot in with a criminal organization wasn’t your most brightest of ideas.”

“How did you—You have no proof—”

“Witnessed by my own men and admitted by those you’ve conned in hopes of a lesser sentence. You’ve been outed.”

The man jumped out of his seat, panicked and rushing for the door. But beyond the door, two troops lie in waiting. Taking him by either arm and lifting him into the air to keep from running.

“Take him away. I have heard enough and will not suffer his face any longer. You will be given a fair trial before ere long, so make sure to write up your next pity act before then.”

“You’ll pay for this! You will be founded for corruption and putting behind bars your own kin for your own gain!!”

His cries would fall on deaf ears however. For today Pipin would be ridded of the one final piece from the past that continuously haunted him. No longer would he have to face him on the streets. And full well did it lighten his heart to know that neither would his family.

They would grow in this new era of peace. And never will they need to worry about where their next meal would come from, nor fear for their lives as he once did.

[b-blushes]

talking about disability stuff

i've not left the house for 2 weeks bc i needed some more 'enforced' rest as things were getting kind of intense emotionally due to how much more unwell i have consistently been feeling for. a while. and also due to starting a new treatment 2 weeks ago so wanting to be the kindest i could to myself while experiencing potential side effects (it has ramped up my headaches and migraines again whilst also not having the intended effect as of yet 🙃 so hoping THAT shakes out soon or it's back to square one and having to do the whole thing over with a different med which. i don't want to. they should invent some treatments that work and don't make you ill in other ways. alas.) but anyway. it didn't fix me D: i wasn't thinking i'd be better™ but i did kind of believe i'd be 'less bad' and physically i am just not, which. AUGH. now i'm feeling very intimidated for my typical schedule of leaving the house once a week for a few hours for various things bc i have *plans* now and i do want to do them but i also really really really really really want to be less ill. and more able. SIGH. it will be fine and the nice things will be nice! and i can do it! i've gotten through harder health stuff! i just really keep trying to do things that will make a positive change and lead to an improvement rather than decline or 'maintaining but at a cost' and i can't work out what the thing might be that achieves this. realising that perhaps that might be the chronic and incurable conditions and disabilities occurring. but i don't WANT it to be hahahaha! :P looking on the bright side though HOWEVER a couple of weeks of not going out *did* help my brain because i did go from a very dire place brain-body combo-wise to 'i can do the week even though i will still have some sicker than normal days'. so it did help! i was just expecting more. but it did something! just got to hold onto that!

kind of at a loss for what else i can try really but i am working on other treatment stuff and i'm trying to get more tests and hopefully another referral who might have more specialised advice. just wish there weren't so many hoops to jump through and it wasn't such a luck of the draw situation as to whether the first person who holds power over referral processes has even heard of the diagnoses i have 😅 But if we're wishing for stuff then i guess instead i will just wish not to be ill 5eva :P we stay silly!!!!!!!!!!!

[terrencevision]

HELLO! I’m TerrenceVision [Terrence, Terry, TV, Brick, Grandpa] (They/Them/He/Him/Xe/Xem/check my pronouns page in links for more)!!

I’m a TVhead PNGtube twitch streamer (when I remember to hit go live lol) and artist. I’m disabled, AuDHD, and mentally ill.

I’m mostly going to post my art, hermitcraft fanart, trafficlife fanart, and idk what else fanart here.

ART ASKS:

General Hermitcraft art, HC Fanon Swap (click for link), idk you can ask to see my personal art if you feel like it.

And JoeHills, StressMonster101, VintageBeef, and ZombieCleo but they don't have matching userboxes yet!

I'm also okay with requests, because I get artist block frequently and sometimes it's nice to just draw something I'm asked to, but just know there is ZERO querentee I will draw what you request. If toy want to guarantee I draw your thing include something like "how much for you to draw _?"

Hopefully I remember to post!! See you soon??

Annoying little gif of me under the cut:

Hermitcraft userboxes buy @house-of-cards-and-crime

[kinerxy]

(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠) 24 and 25

24- i just stop drawing and do something else, like play project zomboid, eventually ill want to draw again (hopefully soon!!)

25- There's no FBI here! they can't look for me lol

[leviathan-ghoul]

Creative Intuition // Ghost OC Ficlet

Hello! This will make my first post on this website— on any website in a long while— but it’s just an idea I had late at night and now I’m staying up writing instead of finishing much needed tasks. If y’all want, I can upload a bio for my OC later on. But as of right now, just know that it’s a he/they androgynous fellow named Marcel. <3

Summary: Papa goes to his top creative mind, Marcel, in need of something new and exciting to show off.

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It was late in the night when he had shed the clothes from the day, rank with the sweat of his anxiety. When he’d washed off his corpse paint and combed his hair, glanced at himself in the mirror one final time before the warm grip of his weighted blanket would pull him into a deep sleep.

Late in the night, when he heard a knock at his door. And due to his irritation, he had nearly jumped out of his flesh. Though it was a timid knock, he had been very put off by it. His tranquility collapsed. And in his frustration, he stormed over to the door and flung it open.

Much to his surprise— and regret— the form of his Satanic Pope stood brilliantly before him. His heterochromiac eyes bore into his own, and there was a moment of silence before the figurehead cleared his throat.

“Good evening, uh, Brother Marcel.” Oh, how that voice did not match his gallant appearance. “I hope my sudden intrusion did not find you in an… ill manner.”

“Of course not.” Marcel sighed, lying through his teeth as he bowed his head. He could only pray that this would take a moment, and he could return to his doing absolutely nothing in a moment. “What is it that you need?” He’d sounded too impatient. Oops.

“Well, it’s been made clear to me that the Ghost project is in need of a new face, now that I’ve, uh… ascended to the papacy.”

Oh no. “… I see…” Marcel contained his dread, even though his hopes of a good night’s rest had been crushed. He folded his arms across his chest and listened in well.

“So I thought, since you’ve designed the ghouls’ recent line, that you could perhaps… fashion a new one?” It sounded a lot like a question. A question that Marcel would love to refuse at this time of the night, when everyone in the surrounding halls was asleep— and he should be too.

“… yes, Papa. I can do that.” He made his best attempt to lighten up his voice, soften his hazel eyes and relax his jaw. And at these motions, something had stirred in Papa’s expression. Discontentment was Marcel’s first guess, and he stiffened up again to present as more dignified. Willing. He strode over to his dresser and snatched up the pocket-sized notebook from atop it, and the pen by its side, flicking through the paper to find a blank page.

“Do you have any ideas in mind? Any requirements?” Marcel began. Hopefully this would make it a bit easier, if he already had an idea of what he wanted, rather than starting from scratch. He could picture himself now, spending days on designs and prototypes and having them all rejected because they didn’t fit what Papa would like.

“Well…” he began, “this new album is a lot more focused on the conflict of the modern world. Something with modernization as a… sort of theme.”

Marcel nodded slowly as he wrote, mentally drawing up one blank after another. “… okay. Anything else?”

Papa thought for a moment before shrugging one shoulder. “Not… not particularly. The rest is up to you, really— I’m sure I’ll be happy with anything you come up with, fratello.”

I doubt it.

Marcel bit his lip and set the notebook back down, approaching the doorway once more. “Very well— I’ll get to work on those as soon as possible. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

He wasn’t expecting Papa’a firm hand to grasp his shoulder the next second, giving it a light squeeze. “Get some good rest.” Papa had softened his voice as he ducked down slightly to look them in the eyes, “And take good care of yourself, eh?”

Marcel found a look of kindness in those eyes— real care— and couldn’t refuse it. Those haunting, glimmering orbs pleaded them, and the grip on his shoulder tightened ever so slightly.

“I-I will. Thank you, Papa.” And with that, he waited for the man to release him before backing into his room and closing the door, listening for those footsteps to trail away.’

Modernization. Industrialization. The Industrial Revolution. An alternative future. Dystopia— what could’ve been.

These ideas flooded his exhausted brain as he began with a sketch. He stood at his desk, back beginning to ache from his hunched posture and head pounding from the headache that his tensed shoulders had produced.

A gas mask. No— the classic steampunk goggles would fit the ghouls nicely. They would help disguise their features perfectly.

They let his imagination destroy him, venturing deeper into the hours of the night.

It would be well near the witching hour when he’d finally allow themself to rest.

Tfw you lost motivation halfway through. Anyways I didn’t really like how this turned out but oh well… it’s content.

[nathank77]

7/9/24

9:34 a.m Edited/Added to

So the hearing test I have appearantly excellent hearing yet it appears based on the graphs that it's a little worse than it was last time but not by much. It's frustrating cause I think I'd benefit from them but I don't meet the threshold. He doesn't even want a follow up, I can call if something seems off. I guess my tubes have cleared up which is nice.

My "perception" of hearing was marked as abnormal. That's the fucked part. He kept asking if I had something else in the background that would muffle sound and make it harder to hear. I didn't mention the hallucination bc- if i can hear you clearly, it drowns it out. If you're a room over it takes the person's voice. I didn't want to be labeled as crazy I want my medical files to be free of auditory hallucinations. Also it never steals the voice of someone I can hear clearly. Ever. It only does when the voice is too quiet.

The problem herein lies that until you can't hear anything under 26 decibels you have excellent hearing... and I'm right below the threshold so I'm still considered to have normal hearing despite hearing loss. I'm frustrated but whatever. Maybe in a year I'll call and see. I really wanted hearing aids cause I have to turn everything up louder and it's not due to the hallucination. The hallucination doesn't help.... but it doesn't drown out sound. The voice isn't loud I can just hear it clearly and only when something isn't louder than it. The test speaks for its self compared to last time it got worse. But whatever. Beyond that why do I have to turn up every device I have louder than I used to? Bc I'm right under the threshold. It's really obnoxious.

I got my new heart monitor thing and I put it on, I woke up with my chest feeling itchy af... and a poor skin contact reading. I removed it at 2 in the morning my skin was red and irritated. I'm starting to think I'm not going to be able to participate in the study and therefore I won't ever find out what's wrong with my heart. I mean the er picked up PVCs... so I mean even if it is straight panic attacks something is happening... I got to call cause I took Melatonin and Benadryl after removing the device, it almost took a hour to fall back to sleep and I wasn't going to fully wake myself up calling them. I got to check if there is a rash. Idk what to do. I didn't even sweat.

I planned out a game day today but once again I don't feel like gaming bc of my hallucination. I'm just watching ink master about to call the heart place and see what I can do bc I think I'm at the end of my rope for sensitive skin options.

No luck with dating go figure and I'm overwhelmed trying to find 2 therapists to replace Erin or just one who can see me twice a week... I'm still seeing the pre license but she's 26 and it's off putting working with someone younger than me. It was off putting working with mike and Kristen at first simply bc they are only a few years older than me.

I'm meeting with someone with 25 years of experience soon hopefully it's a good fit.

Anyways I feel really hopeless. I almost want to buy hearing amplifiers but I'm broke af. Really broke. Super broke. I can't afford to buy a 1$ thing of soap at the dollar store, let alone go to the MacBook store for my apple care...if I want to eat this month.

So it's whatever. I got a lot of appointments and shit this week. And I'm thinking about joining a local mentally ill place near me but it's work oriented... that's the problem I just want a place that I can go and paint, color, draw and talk to people without having IOP or something slapped on my record. I need to meet people but I dont need any counts against me on my medical file for being mentally ill, a psych ward hold is enough I would never do anything related to mental health but individual therapy at this point bc it would suggest potentially I can't take care of myself and I lack competency.

I wish hallucinating wasn't ruining my whole gaming experience and my passion..I wish I could meet someone. If I don't game I'm watching ink master all day cause I mean- I deserve a relaxing day I just wish I could enjoy gaming again but you try being immersed when all you hear is happy birthday if there isn't dialogue. It truly ruins everything. Busy work keeps my brain active on whatever task I'm doing and helps me ignore it bc I'm thinking about a lot of stuff.

I'll be busy the rest of the week so I'm hoping I can get motivated to play a game but last time it felt like a chore with the hallucination... a true chore.

Why can't I meet someone? It would be amazing if I had someone to talk to and someone to hang out with once a week. It would make a huge difference. I'd only join prime house to meet someone less crazy than me and find a gf. But it's kinda like going to a bar, you're going to meet Bar flies. At a crazy house, you're going to meet crazies. Not dateable people.

[ladyhavilliard]

Crimson Rain Sought Flower aka pretty red boi

[niklenakle]

I really love drawing rocma I'm sorry