#hopefully I'll survive
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Queuing to see Paul McCartney in 2024, sixty years after Beatlemania first took over the world, feels wild, W I L D
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Moots I hope you have the best most awesome day ever because I certainly did nort
#I'm going to the psychiatrist on Saturday so uh until then#Hopefully I'll survive#We'll see#I love you guys so much kiss kiss#Have a great day/night
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2024 Recap: It was bad! 👍
#consistently the worst my mental health has been since 2019/early 2020 when i was going through the divorce#and yes small joys etc but. i think this attitude has twisted into something where i feel like the small joys are all i'll ever get#and just generally accept that i'm going to be miserable#hopefully figuring this out can be the impetus to change some things and make progress#(unless we have to move in which case the only feasible new years resolution is to Survive)#but man. it's been a rough time.#it takes such courage not to turn to stone
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ohh just realised this time tomorrow i will be watching tit eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! i'm excited and nervous at the same time lol
#personal#it's like past!me knew i'd be bereft at not being able to see s/f so she booked tit lol#thank u past!me#(i mean she also booked it cos she rly wanted to see dnp live but shhh)#mainly nervous about travelling and staying somewhere alone btw#but like i'll be fine.. i'll survive it lol#hopefully
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I can't really bring myself to draw at the moment, so here are some of the MLC W.I.P.s and sketches that I've had sitting around, abandoned and otherwise, because I miss these guys.
#art#artists on tumblr#lotus tower#mysterious lotus casebook#mysterious lotus casebook fanart#li lianhua#di feisheng#fang duobing#and of course#hulijing#my art#ghost33th art#I have this whole huge extensive modern AU and if I survive long enough I will write it#hopefully#even if it means I'll expose myself for writing bad smut because I want to draw and post my designs for it on here#I still have this issue with feeling like all art I post must be finished and good to some degree#I'm trying to grab it and fling both of us out the window so to speak#mutual defenestration for the sake of self-liberation
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Scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling mindless scrolling mindless scrolling scrolling
I can't keep myself off of my phone I just keep scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling mindless scrolling mindless scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling
Just trying to distract just trying to survive the day
Scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling
#mindless scrolling#scrolling#doom scrolling#mindless#distracted#survive#survival mode#hopefully one day I'll be where I want to be#i want to be home
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Happy new year everybody!
Hope the new year goes well for everyone!
#Hopefully I can eat a proper meal this year#Then again.. I do have those leaves#I guess I'll survive#probably..........
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Only got a few more plague spots today, too soon to tell if that means it'll be a small lot of Chicken Pox or a slow lot of Chicken Pox. Either way I still don't have an appetite so attempting to break out the nice food.
This morning I worked on a Growing With Glenn post where we meet Silver. We're just over halfway through the coven so I thought we could use a break and reminder we are actually here for romance. It acts as a backstory post for Silver. If you followed along with what @cawthorntales has written the information will not be new, just from Silver's perspective instead of Grayson. Let us cross our fingers that I do the character justice.
Did a bit of rotational gameplay writing this afternoon. It's definitely taking me longer to write at the moment. Is it because I am sick or is it because I'm a perfectionist who likes to fact check things? Who knows.
Made some vegan Bolognese for dinner. The dietician I saw this week told me to eat more lentils so I put some red lentils in and it wasn't terrible, more filling maybe. I finished watching Disturbia today after starting it last night, then I watched Tinkerbell & The Pirate Fairy because my tastes are polar opposites at times.
#ramble ramble ramble#before bed thoughts#really itchy and tired#I've got the sores covered so I don't scratch#but they are still so itchy#sleep last night was very sporadic because of that#but I'll survive#she said hopefully
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I just realized I left my writing notebook at work... my writing notebook in which I plotted rebelcaptain smut for smut month... and I have home office coming up 💀
#this is so#im laughing but only because im a bit tipsy help 😭#it's locked in my drawer but my coworkers do have a key... hopefully no one opens it i guess#i mean i'll survive but... it was my sex pollen plans to boost agfdgfdegh#shut up sissi
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Soon...SOON I WILL BE FREE- (My Thanksgiving break will begin the moment I get through class tomorrow)
#pan rambles#Honestly it's the the fact that [IRL THING] That's been keeping me the modt busy as drained#BUT THAT SHALL ALSO END SOON...#Kinda. The hardest part will be done at least#And then hopefully I'll finally have some free time!!! To game and draw stuff for myself!#Ngl I've been feeling a little insecure again and it's partially bc I haven't drawn anything for my ships#I really want to draw more! I have ideas!! I just don't have the time to work on them#I want to draw things for friends too!!#I've just been chanting to myself all week that I just gotta survive tomorrow and I'll be free!#At least reading G.angsta has been fun! <3
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cuddle bug 🥺
#so grateful for her. today especially.#also the husband Foot lol#anyway you guys okay? we doin okay? hugging you.#i'm gonna cook for the first time since i got sick. and hopefully finish the diner afterwards.#and i'll survive this january. gonna make it.
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going to watch dead boy detectives with my friend today which is great bc I get to share my interests and also rewatch it for a third time but unfortunately now I have to be very careful not to post any spoilers bc my friend follows my tumblr
#idk how I'll survive not posting constant meta#but life goes on#hopefully#also I'll be watching she-ra for the first time so#excitinggggggg#watching queer media with your queer friends is 10/10#dead boy detectives
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Hey. RTD2. If you're playing some sort of long game with this whole not even mentioning the existence of Martha Jones thing as a way to throw us off the scent of a possible appearance from her later in season "1" or "2" of this era...
Nah. I can't even begin to let myself hope it will happen.
#dw spoilers#doctor who spoilers#doctor who#martha jones#i was gonna say he's on thin ice but nah boy is underwater with me#i'll still be tuning in. for Ncuti Gatwa. i've currently lost the bit of hope i had in RTD2's era though.#because so much of what i predicted would happen in the handling of Fifteen came true. and then top it off with Martha.#but i let some hope grow during Wild Blue Yonder. because i was enjoying it. a lot.#but we've really gotten off on the wrong foot. making Fifteen really have to share being the Doctor.#and Fourteen's face as Ten traveled with 3 companions. 4 if you count Sarah Jane. 5 if you count River.#and you mention all of them. besides Martha.#not even a joke of 'hey well Martha got out.' to the Toymaster in retaliation for all the dead companions#the Fam and Dan were left out too. but they all survived relatively unscathed. and none of them traveled with Ten.#you have Tennant's face. you mention all of Ten's other companions. you leave out. Martha Jones.#will he gain it back? hopefully. but dude. you do a 6oth anniversary special. you bring back Tennant for the THIRD time.#you leave out Martha Jones. almost purposefully. not even Mel or Kate saying 'lots of companions worked for us. like Martha.'#SIMPLE. JUST NAME DROP HER. SOMEWHERE. ANYWHERE. AT ANYTIME. JUST ACKNOWLEDGE SHE EXISTED.#all those 'ah your old face' 'look same face' 'i got this face back' comments. no mention of someone the face traveled with.#i'm upset
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Gotta tap out for a family dinner if the cowboy does something deranged or if Kenny shows face let me know k thx byeee 🫶🏻
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feel like i never shut up, lately, but my world's so quiet if i don't it's. too big and empty and so i have to shout. in my head. on the internet.
it's not like there's no one to talk to, but when i try the words aren't there. which is just like. god! so frustrating, cause it's not like i'm not thinking the fucking words, but the brain-world barrier is yaknow. pretty good at pathogens and also words. afuckinpparently. but also i'm not gonna shout into the void (tumblr) about the things which actually matter, so WHAT is even the point???
#i'm scared and i'm tired and i'm sad and i'm trying but it doesn't feel worth it most of the time u know#doesn't matter how much i sleep i don't rest#but idk what rest feels like#in my heart it's just lying down and never getting back up.#that ain't it bud!#wanted to do so much this month but per usual! i think im just gonna survive.#hopefully pack enough to move the important shit march first so i can be mostly out of this apartment that first week#cause lots of overtime in march and ive gotta at least try to sublet by april#there are so many moving parts and all i want to do is sleep.#yelling#just know that i am always running in little circles in my head and sometimes i slip on the rug and have to lie on the ground and cry#posts i'll delete later cause they contribute even less to the universe than usual#exorcising half of a very vague demon
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my mom is gone for two days and i'm stuck alone with my sister during that time wish me luck 🥲👍🏻
#she's 100% gonna talk to me about my unsuccessful job hunt as if i wasn’t already desperate and stressed by it#she already did it earlier and she wouldn’t let me talk and was always trying to guess what i was gonna say#hopefully i survive until thursday afternoon or i'll just go at my dad's place#rosa talks#personal
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