#hopefully I'll see it through and not just abandon it halfway through

[tilda-rothery]

Missing out on sleep because my brain keeps me awake with ideas for my next attempt at a long-fic, no matter how hard I tell it to shhhh...

I'm not even sure it's going to come to anything, I've never written a supernatural romance with a hint of a murder mystery before, but my mind just WON'T shut up about it.

It's all about working out the kinks, removing plot holes, figuring out the lore (omg the lore!), and then just sitting down to write the damn story itself!

Why brain why!?

Anyway, here's a sneak peak...

“Did you actually just eat that?” she asked, looking between the candy bowl and Agatha, an unreadable expression on her face. Agatha quite reminded Leonora of a toddler sometimes, putting everything and anything in her mouth without thinking, giving no thought whatsoever to the consequences.

“I did,” Agatha coughed then, her face twisting in on itself, because of, what Leonora could only guess, was the sweets bitter after taste making itself known. Regardless, Agatha crunched the sweet between her teeth, “God, that tastes awful!”

Leonora rolled her eyes wondering why Agatha didn’t just spit it out.

“Unsurprising,” Leonora tutted and re-arranged the rings on her fingers, “It’s a fertility booster infused with Witches Broom. It’s supposed to look appetising to make it easier to swallow, but that doesn’t make it pleasant.”

Agatha’s eyes bulged in her skull, “Why on earth would you leave them out unlabelled?”

Leonora made a big show of pulling out a small piece of black card from thin air, the words Sweet Fertility written in white pen on one side, along with the sweets effects and a price. She nestled it between the candy pieces in the bowl.

“To teach sweet-toothed shop assistants a lesson!” Leonora reprimanded, “This is a magic shop, you can’t just put anything in your mouth without checking what it is first! That’s rule number one!”

“I thought rule number one was ‘don’t touch anything,’”

[fuck-customers]

This situation truly felt like the closest I've ever gotten to reenacting the L vs. Light from Death Note battle lmaoo I kept my cool and plausible deniability, but I was dying laughing internally.

(I think I've won the battle, btw. I'll have to wait and see. There's more to this war, though)

So, for background (and I've complained about this on this blog several times...sorry) my moron boss refuses to put price tags/signs on the products in the store, especially at the register. Considering I work in a retail store...this is obviously a problem. So I've made several attempts to get products priced, in varying degrees of extremity.

1. I made handmade signs/tags out of receipt paper/scratch paper and put them on the products around the register. (Candy, toys etc.) Braindead manager took them down.

2. All but 4 of the shopping carts at work are broken, but customers are stupid and still try to drag them halfway through the store and then abandon them or somehow blame me personally for them being broken. So I put signs on the broken ones and blocked them off. Dumbshit managers keep unblocking them and then customers try and fail to use them and abandon them throughout the store, rinse and repeat daily.

3. I then got the idea to go over my manager's head, but without having it fall back on me. Write to corporate. I originally started snatching receipts to leave negative reviews on the store survey, but that seemed to be a dead end, as the SM and DM are the ones who are supposed to read the surveys, but appear not to, as not a single thing was fixed in over 6 months of "customers" complaining weekly. (Usually at least 1 every 2-4 days)

4. I found a clearance price gun and tagged everything with it, even if it wasn't clearance. One way or another, it had a price on it, right? Of course the braindead moron took them off.

5. I then found actual price tags that were technically for different products, but had the same prices as our current candy, so I tagged the items with that. (For example, we'd have a tag for chocolate that we no longer carry that was $3.99 and we have some current chips on the shelf that are $3.99, so I'd just put the old tag for the current candy, since all customers need is the dollar amount and blacked out the old product description) These lasted longer than the previous attempts, but were ultimately taken down, but this is (hopefully) the turning point.

6. Just to really make sure something would change, a month or so after reusing old price tags, I (simultaneously, while also putting up old tags) made several fake emails posing as disgruntled customers and emailed corporate complaining about the lack of prices and the broken carts (among other things) at my specific location. (I did not name any specific employees or throw anyone under the bus. I just complained about the appearance of the store and any mention of employees was simply left at "the cashier" "the manager" etc. with no personally identifying info) I did this on the feedback section of the company website as well.

This all came to a head today when the braindead's mini-me (the ASM) pulled me aside before I clocked in today to basically call me out. She said that she knew that I was the one who put the handmade tags and also put "broken" signs on the broken carts and blocked them off. I, of course pretended not to know about it, because I'm not THAT stupid. But I'm not in trouble, because she has no real proof. (It was very much "I know that she knows and she knows that I know she knows lol) Anyway, she says (and we'll see about this) that new carts have been ordered and are on their way and also that she had to go around and undo all the tags (oh boohoo, she had to do her job, poor her) and will be putting real, correct tags on the products.

We'll see. In the meantime, "customers" are still going to leave bad reviews and contact corporate until changes are actually made for real. There are still other issues that need to be fixed, but are not as important as the lack of price tags and carts. (Such as the lack of price checkers, the shit radio music, the lack of employees, the dysfunctional inventory system, the bare shelves, the disorganized store, etc.)

Posted by admin Rodney

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your true colors - (1/7) Red"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message for you from the color red, the first of the 7 rainbow's colors. in this serie of readings about the rainbow's colors, I will try to channel about your true colors, so to help you look inside and see your most beautiful self, appreciate yourself more and hopefully provide some type of guidance if necessary. as cindy lauper would say: "your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow", so let's look at them and hear what they have to say to you and how they (you) can help you look at things in a more positive way.

red is the color of passion, creativity, energy, courage, physical activity, love, warmth, safety, (emotional/physical) survival, grounding (root chakra)... in this reading, I'll try to analyze this side of your character.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

There's rawness, there is passion inside of you. A burning fire that keeps you going and at times burns you from within. You may like to work out or go running/dancing/move your body often. You have depth, you are also transformative and unafraid to change yourself, to mold yourself even. You probably don't show this to everyone, how brave you are, also when you don't rely on others (you started doing this out of pain but you should be more open to at least some people, and not close everyone off as you may do. Not easy ofc if in the past you have been judged or abandoned or hurt a lot by someone but not everyone is like that and you know it too -and this is your strenght as well, how you give yourself time anyway... just don't wait forever, follow your passion, and try more, trust yourself and your gut feelings more too when it comes to other people). You're connected within yourself, you often connect with your core identity to know yourself better. I think at times you may feel unsafe, despite this huge connection within: coming out of your shell may feel uncomfortable and this is what you should take action on the most. You're already on a fantastic road to self love and love in general, don't block halfway on it because of outside fears. You cannot see it yet (or always), but you're amazing. Keep diggin' until you find that out by yourself and believe it. Keep diggin' until you see your real self worth and give yourself accolades for all you've been through and came out of. And keep running to burn that fire, you'll get where you want. Try to be more open when you can so that more like-minded people can find you and love you. You're brave and you know you can survive a lot, so be brave as much as you can also in other departments.

song: one love | blue

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

You're seductive, you're passionate (but in a more physical way compared to pile 1), you are not afraid to put work in order to get what you want. And you are calm. You don't rush things, you know they can come to you anyway. You're grounded. I'd say taurean energy. You also have a cute side of you? Not sure if this is for everyone though but yeah. Anyway, you're also accomodating, more than welcoming. You're caring, nurturing, warm... but you may often have doubts within? I think you forget about your groundness, abilities/potential and worth at times, you let yourself fear others' opinion of you, and probably have people pleasing tendencies. Ofc you're kind, gentle, generous and all, but letting others take advantage of you when receiving nothing back (please be objective, do not pretend, you know it's true) is never good. You somehow doubt yourself or need outside validation and not having it feels unsafe. You fear being alone but you're not alone, and you won't be anyway: you're too special for that to be real. You may have problems setting boundaries at times and worry too much about how others see you. There's pain and pleasure here, and it could be related to your relationships too and not just how you see yourself (your inner critic may be kinda harsh at times). Remember you can put yourself first when you need and that's not selfish at all. You can balance giving and receiving (from yourself especially). That's plain self respect. And not everyone has to like you as you don't like everyone, and not everything about you has to be fully appreciated (as you may know people with a few annoying traits or random behaviours but still like/love them). It's about realizing what you can compromise on and what not. There are shades of grey too, it's not all just black&white (or better, there are so many different shades of red!). Enjoy as your nature asks you to, with ease and passion. Let go more of this overthinking/stress. Give yourself the permission to do what your heart already wants and knows but your mind doesn't allow out of fear. Not all the bumps on your road are there to block you. You're braver than this.

song: the end | jpolnd

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

You should focus on seeing something more than you are actually considering, seeing more about you. There's so much more that you aren't seeing (especially when you feel down and unworthy/alone/unlovable I think), but you need to change perspective to embrace this side/view and see it fully. To really see yourself and the reasons why you feel this way, how they originated in you. I think you're a pretty creative person and using your creativity could help you explore sides of you that you may not always be so in touch with. Again you are more than what you are considering and honestly you're so strong... you have no idea how amazing you are. You may have also buildt a cage around your core personality/heart, probably out of an emotional wound that caused a huge pain within, and you may have closed off to it and buried it within. It could be related to your inner child or it has made you grow up in a more "serious" way, somehow. This hurt side of yours may cause you to get triggered randomly or to wear masks to "save" yourself. I think that you should appreciate this hurt side of yours more. Do not push it away, as it's part of you still. Okay, maybe you don't like it, either for the (painful/sad) memories it carries or because others don't like it too much or whatever other reason, but it's just part of you. Be kinder with and more appreciative of your whole self. That side of you too deserves love, maybe more than any other. That side of you too is lovely, no matter if others taught you it is not: they were very likely projecting on you. Don't believe everything others tell you about yourself, they don't know the full story. Look within yourself and how amazing you are, cause you are, also on your "bad days" (which are just bad days, they will end).

song: la donna cannone | francesco de gregori (song about not being as beautiful as society/people would want but not caring and making it also trough love)

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Chp: 11

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of known death eaters from one of the richest and oldest wizarding family. Are you prepared to abandon everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 4.6k

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut (?), mention of death and violence, sorry to any ron enjoyers out there

Note: halfway through writing this chapter i realised how im really giving ron the short end of the stick in this story lmao i hope y'all don't mind i'll try to go easier on him

this one is more plot driven than usual but i added fluffy hermione x reader moments to make up for it hopefully its still enjoyable!

alright that's it as usual i hope y'all like this one :)

(btw sneaked in a little hermione pov let me know if u like or hate it 👀)

taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @coralieesau @blackbirdv98

An hour had passed now since Hermione agreed to cut Harry's hair and you had merely been sat in the corner, spectating.

Truth be told it was a rather fascinating sight to witness Hermione Granger struggle at something.

She snips another section of hair off, leaving an uneven patch. She winces and you couldn’t fight the snicker that slips out of your lips.

Harry throws you a worried expression and your girlfriend only glares at you.

With the pair of scissors in her hand, she points it at you.

“Alright that’s it. You either be quiet or wait outside until I finish this.” Hermione warns.

You raise your hands up in surrender pursing your lips to avoid bursting into laughter.

“Okay I’ll be quiet, I’m sorry.”

Hermione looks less than convinced but eventually goes back to cutting Harry’s hair.

A few minutes past and you decide you wanted to get a proper look. Standing up, you leaned over Hermione’s shoulder.

Seeing the state of Harry’s hair now only causes you to let out a hysterical laugh.

Harry reaches back, fumbling as he finally had a feel of the uneven patches on his head.

Hermione slaps your arm harshly but it does nothing to subdue your laughter.

“Y/n, you’re being so rude.” She whines, a pout forming on her lips.

“I’m sorry but you’re truly terrible at this.”

You say, finally recovering from your laughing fit.

Harry stands up and glances at you for a moment, the look on his face shows he agrees with your statement.

“I think that’ll do for now Hermione, thank you.” Harry tries his best to be polite but he isn’t fooling anyone.

You take a seat again and watches as Hermione slams the pair of scissors against the table.

A petulant look on her face, you can’t help but feel at fault.

You held out your arms, gesturing for her to sit on your lap.

“My love come here, I’m sorry.”

Hermione was reluctant for a moment, but inevitably situates herself on your lap, looping her arm over your shoulder.

You leaned in to place a kiss against her jaw, you attempt to plant one on her lips but she was quick to turn her head.

“You’re great at a lot of other things sweetheart, maybe just avoid a hairdressing career in the future.” You try to reassure her but Hermione makes no effort to look at you.

Reaching up, you began massaging her shoulder absentmindedly and she welcomes the feeling.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I’m sorry.” You repeat.

Finally turning to you she leans in, capturing your lips with hers.

Moving your own hand to the back her neck as you deepened the kiss. Your lips were against hers for several moments before Harry can be heard clearing his throat.

He turns to walk out of the tent but Hermione was quick to stop him.

“Hang on Harry, we have something to tell you.”

Your girlfriend looks at you signalling for you to continue.

“Last night, Hermione and I figured something out regarding the horcruxes.”

Harry is now intrigued, he steps closer, folding his arms before giving you his full attention.

“What about the horcruxes?”

“Well, we figured out how to destroy it.” Hermione stands up to grab the book you were reading the night prior.

Handing it to Harry, she waits for him to skim the page before explaining.

“Harry, you destroyed Tom Riddle’s diary with a basilisk fang.”

“But before that you killed the basilisk with the sword of Gryffindor. The blade was then impregnated with it’s venom.” Hermione says.

“That’s why Dumbledore left the sword to you in his will, it can destroy horcruxes.” You add.

“That’s brilliant! You’re brilliant– the both of you!” Harry exclaims and you swear you have never seen him so excited before.

“There’s only one problem ofcourse–”

Harry stops talking as the lights in the tent go out for a moment and you instinctively move to stand next to Hermione.

“The sword was stolen.” Ron states, stepping inside the tent. He holds out Dumbledore’s deluminator and the lights quickly come back on.

“That’s right, I’m still here. But you three carry on, don’t let me spoil the fun.”

You roll your eyes, Ron truly picks his timings.

“What’s wrong?”

Harry asks with a deadpan tone, evidently feeling as annoyed.

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Not according to you anyway.” Ron says.

“Look if you have something to say don’t be shy, spit it out.” Harry slams the book closed, stepping closer to Ron.

“Alright I’ll spit it out.”

“But don’t expect me to be grateful just because there’s another damn thing we’ve got to find.” He says, glaring at you.

You feel Hermione grab your hand.

“We’re supposed to be out there destroying these things but now it seems you prefer sitting around playing house with a traitor instead.” He accuses.

“Traitor?” You grimaced at the insult.

Hermione moves her hand up your arm but it does nothing to soothe you.

“I’m sorry, but what part of this isn’t living up to your expectations? Did you think we’d be staying in a 5 star hotel? Finding a Horcrux every other day? Did you think you’d be back with your mum by Christmas?” Harry raises his voice.

“I thought you knew what you were doing I thought Dumbledore would’ve told you something worthwhile.”

Harry rolls his eyes and you grow increasingly agitated yourself.

“I’ve told you everything Dumbledore told me and incase you haven’t noticed we have found a Horcrux already.”

“Yeah, and we’re as close to getting rid of it as we are to finding the rest of them aren’t we?”

Hermione releases your arm, walking towards Ron she attempts to take the necklace off him but he pushes her off harshly.

“Please take the necklace off, you wouldn't be saying any of this if you hadn’t been wearing it all day.”

He pushes her away again.

“And what about you? When are you going to snap out of it Hermione? Can’t you see she’s just using you to help the Dark Lord? I don’t get why you still believe she is on our side. She doesn’t love you.”

Ron practically spits the last sentence, pointing in your direction.

The sight of tears welling up in Hermione’s eyes set you off.

Storming towards them you quickly shoved Ron, his back hitting the pillar, you kept him pinned against it with your forearm. He tries to fight you off but the adrenaline coursing through you allows you more strength than him.

“Take the Horcrux off.” You ordered him calmly even though it took everything in you not to choke him out.

Reaching up he removes the necklace, roughly throwing it onto the ground. You release him from your hold but he makes no effort to walk away, keeping eye contact with you.

A challenge you gladly accepted.

“What is it Weasley? Are you going to hit me?” You taunt.

You notice as his jaw clenched in response. He glances at Harry one last time before storming out of the tent.

The sound of Hermione sniffling finally urges you to look at her. You catch her trying to wipe away her tears on her sleeve.

“Oh, Hermione come here.”

You stepped closer, pulling her in for an embrace and Hermione doesn’t fight it. You feel her sobbing against your shoulder and it shatters you.

════════════════════════════════════════════

Your impromptu walk along the lake with Hermione had somehow turned into you teaching her how to skip rocks.

She’d been glum since the argument with Ron yesterday and the fact that he had apparated to Merlin knows where in the dead of the night only made things worse.

“Come on, try again you’ll get it.”

Hermione throws the rock and it makes a large splash in the water.

“This isn’t working.” Hermione groans turning around to leave but you stop her with your hand on her arm.

“No, baby you’re doing really well. It’s just your stance is all wrong.”

You say, picking up a smaller stone before moving to stand behind her.

You handed her the stone and carefully guided her arm up. Your hand still over hers, you leaned in to plant a kiss against her neck before whispering directly into her ear.

“Bend your knees a bit.”

Hermione does as she’s told, the blush forming on her cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Good girl.” You smile.

“Now lean back slightly.”

“Release the stone when I say.”

Hermione nods and you guided her arm backwards and then rapidly forward.

“Now.”

She let’s go of the rock and it flings towards the water, skipping twice before sinking. A clear improvement from before.

Hermione smiles widely.

“I can’t believe I did it!” She exclaims.

You chuckled before clapping your hands, applauding her.

“Well done, I knew you could do it.”

Hermione turns to you, wrapping her arms around your neck.

“You’re a great teacher.”

She says directly against your lips. Your girlfriend doesn’t allow you the chance to respond before eliminating any distance between her lips and yours.

Your lips have been on hers thousands of times in a hundred different ways but somehow every kiss still felt like the first.

Hermione tracing circles against your neck made you giddy, you never wanted this feeling to end.

The distant sound of footsteps on gravel urged the both of you to turn around.

Harry can be seen approaching you with his rug sack hanging on his shoulders.

“We need to keep moving, Hermione.”

A pause before your girlfriend responds.

“Any sign of Ron?” She asks and Harry merely shakes his head.

“Okay.” Her voice was quiet.

Harry begins walking away and Hermione follows, she tugs on your arm but you don’t budge.

The look Hermione’s giving you now is one you had been dreading all morning.

“I can’t come Hermione, I have to go back to my parents.”

Your girlfriend sighs and you reach forward holding her face in your hands.

“I will find you again I promise.” You reassure, looking directly into her eyes which are now glossy with unshed tears.

“I hate this.” Hermione grips your coat and you lean in to kiss her deeply.

“Listen, when all of this ends I will never leave your side again.”

“If all of this ends.” She says.

You place a firm hand against her jaw, lifting her head slightly forcing her to look at you.

“Don’t say that. We will defeat him.”

Moving your thumb you stroked her cheek gently and your girlfriend closes her eyes at the sensation.

“And try not to worry about Ron, he’ll turn up I’m sure.”

Hermione nods but doesn’t say anything else, only wrapping her arms around you to pull you into a hug.

“After everything we’ve done so far it can’t be for nothing.”

You say before giving her a gentle peck on the forehead.

════════════════════════════════════════════

Frustration overcoming her, Hermione groans as she flips the pages of her book harshly. After going through it thoroughly dozens of times, she basically knows every word on every page by heart.

Dumbledore must’ve left this with her for a reason.

There has to be a reason.

Carefully scanning the pages once more something catches her eye, a triangle shaped symbol near the top of the page.

Flipping through the book again she realises the symbol is only drawn on a single page, clearly not meant to be apart of book.

It could mean nothing of course but there is no way for her to know for sure.

This is something but not nearly enough to go on. It still isn’t the clue she was hoping for.

Hermione’s mind starts to wander and like so many times today she's once again plagued by thoughts of you.

She wonders if you might know what the symbol represented, being more naturally versed in the wizarding world than she is.

The nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach returns and she has to fight the urge to cry, again.

She had no way of knowing when you’ll return but the ring on her finger provides her with a much needed reassurance.

Hermione glances at it, examining the strand of light that’s emerging from the ring.

Something she’s done many times before for comfort.

She knows where you are, she knows you’re safe.

“Hermione!” Harry’s voice in the distance snaps her out of her thoughts.

“You were right.” Her best friend says, taking a seat in front of her.

“Snitches do have flesh memories, but I didn’t catch the first snitch with my hands. I almost swallowed it.” Harry says, handing her the golden ball.

Hermione carefully reads the words etched into the metal.

I open at the close.

“What do you think that means?” Harry asks.

“I don’t know.” Hermione says.

Still not enough to go on.

“I found something as well.” Hermione holds up the book and Harry takes a look at the symbol.

“At first I thought it was an eye but now I don’t think it is.”

“This isn’t apart of the book, somebody drew it.”

“I think Luna’s father was wearing that at Bill and Fluer’s wedding.”

Harry says and it only worked to leave Hermione more perplexed.

“Why would someone draw it in a children’s book?”

A beat before Harry speaks again.

“Hermione I’ve been thinking, I want to go to Godric’s Hollow.”

“It’s where I was born, its where my parents died.”

Hermione stands up before shaking her head in disagreement.

“That’s exactly where he’d expect you to go because it means something to you.” She says.

Harry scrambles to his feet, walking after her.

“Yes but it means something to him too Hermione.”

“You know who almost died there. Isn’t that exactly the type of place he’d be likely to hide a horcrux?”

Harry’s practically pleading.

“But its dangerous Harry–”

Hermione stills for a moment, as much as she hates to admit it this is the only lead they have.

“But even I have to admit recently I’ve been thinking we have to go there.”

“I think it’s possible something else is hidden there.”

Hermione says, walking ahead of Harry.

“What?”

He asks and she turns to look at him.

“The sword.”

════════════════════════════════════════════

A week since you’ve seen Hermione and you were getting nowhere.

No solid leads on where the Hocruxes might be hidden and you had no idea where the sword is.

The death eaters planning their next attack on Harry only exacerbated your anxiety.

“Nagini tells me the boy was at Godric’s Hollow.”

“He wasn’t alone.”

The Dark Lord says and you begin to feel a pounding in your ears.

He stands up walking around the table.

The room is silent as he eventually stops, settling behind your chair.

“A girl was with him, a mudblood.”

“Hermione Granger as I understand it.”

The pounding in your head was now intolerable, you shut your eyes bracing yourself for the inevitable.

You were foolish to think you could maintain a relationship with Hermione and get away with it.

To your surprise, Voldermort fails to acknowledge you entirely.

Instead, he addresses the man sitting next to you.

This provides you no relief, you would still prefer torture over what came out of the Dark Lord’s mouth next.

“Scabior, when you find this girl, make sure you bring her straight to me. It seems wherever the boy goes, she follows.”

You recognised the man he was ordering to be the leader of a gang of snatchers.

“Yes, my Lord.”

He says, getting up from his seat and quickly apparating out of the room.

Voldermort does the same shortly after and soon the other death eaters follow.

Leaving you alone in the dining area with your parents and the Malfoys.

The Dark Lord may be gone but you are still struggling to catch your breath.

Getting up off your chair you begin making your way to the bathroom.

Your parents do nothing to stop you but your best friend notices your distressed state.

“Y/n, you alright?” Draco stops you, placing a hand on your arm.

“Yes, I’m fine Draco.” You say without looking at him.

Finally reaching the bathroom you quickly closed the door.

When you got to the sink you turned on the faucet, splashing some water on your face.

It did nothing to help, the room was still spinning.

You shut your eyes tightly as you tried to control your breathing.

At the forefront of your mind all you could see was Hermione.

Your stomach turned at the notion of her getting hurt but the idea of finding your way back to her worked to calm you.

You had to get back to her.

You will get into Bellatrix’s vault tonight.

Once the ringing in your ears dissipated you stepped out of the bathroom.

Making your way to the living area of the home, you were abruptly stopped in your tracks.

Snape was stood before you. As expected, his expression remained unreadable.

“Professor.” You greeted him and he wordlessly steps closer to you.

Holding up a key, one you didn’t recognise but if you had to guess it would be a key to somebody’s vault.

It’s as if the professor read your mind with what he says next.

“The key to a vault in Gringotts.”

Snape says and you eyebrows knitted together.

Despite your obvious confusion he does not elaborate.

“Sir?”

He moves forward slipping the key into the pocket of your blazer.

“Use the key and you will find the thing you require.” He says rather ominously and in any other circumstance you’d find humor in his dramatics.

Could a horcrux be hidden in this vault?

Even if that was true why would he want you to retrieve it?

Hundreds of questions and the Professor doesn’t allow you an opportunity to ask any of them.

He dissaparates without another word.

You were left dumbfounded.

Who’s side is he on?

════════════════════════════════════════════

You wasted no time in making your way over to Gringotts.

Your parents barely batting an eye when you lied about where you were headed. Pansy had clearly done a good job at covering for you which also meant you owed her a ton of favours.

A small price to pay.

“He sent me to retrieve something from his vault.” You responded to the goblin.

“Do you have his key?”

“Yes I do.” You say, holding it up.

“Very well. Come with me.”

The goblin barely gives you a reaction before guiding you past the barrier.

Upon reaching the vault you prepared yourself to look in every corner for the hidden items. Having no idea what they might even look like, you were prepared to spend hours searching if need be.

You were certain of one thing, you were not leaving the vault empty handed.

“Vault 713.” The goblin says as he opens the door to the vault. Passing the key back to you he swiftly takes his leave.

Your shoulders slumped once you took notice of the contents of the vault.

Or rather the lack thereof.

The vault was virtually empty.

Stepping further inside you noticed something propped up against the wall, covered in cloth.

Rapidly making your way over to it you unveiled the item and your mouth fell agape once you realised exactly what it was you were holding.

It was the sword of Gryffindor, sitting in this vault of all places, when it had been presumed to be missing.

Most baffling of all, Snape had been the person to lead you to it.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You found yourself in a hillside after apparating.

You don’t recognise the area at all, making your way down you silently hoped for Hermione to show herself.

“Lumos maxima.” A bright light emerges from your wand, igniting the area.

Soon you spot a figure in the distance.

You let out a sigh of relief once you realised who it was.

“Potter!” You called out.

Harry runs up to you, his eyes were quick to settle on the sword in your hand.

“How?” He asks, pointing at it utterly perplexed.

“Long story.”

“You have the Horcrux with you?”

Harry nods, taking the necklace off.

He sets in on the ground.

You held out the sword, waiting for him grab it.

Harry merely looks at it.

“I think you should do it.” He says.

You are taken aback for a moment but Harry’s expectant expression was quick to convince you.

“Okay.”

You prepared yourself, holding the hilt of the sword with both hands.

“Now I’ll have to speak to it in order for it to open. I don’t know what’s in there but the bit of Riddle in the diary tried to kill me.”

“Whatever it is, don’t hesitate.”

“Alright, I hear you.” You gripped the sword tighter.

Harry begins speaking in parseltongue and before you know it, a large black mass bursts out of the locket, throwing you back onto the ground.

The dark lord’s voice can be heard echoing around you and it makes your blood run cold.

“I’ve seen your dreams y/n and I’ve seen your fears.”

“A disappointment to your parents.”

“Because of you, the only one you love is in constant danger.”

The voice says.

“Y/n don’t listen to it, it’s lying!” Harry exclaims.

Images of Hermione appear in front of you. Innocent at first but develops into more violent visions the longer you stared at it.

It was as if you had stepped right into one of your nightmares.

A vision of you throwing the killing curse at Hermione causes you to flinch, a dread suddenly overwhelming you.

It was so vivid you could feel the pain in your chest.

“Y/n kill it!”

Harry’s voice snaps you out of it.

The locket using your fears against you was the worst kind of torture.

Your hatred for the Dark Lord only grew, he truly was evil in its purest form.

Your anger worked as the courage you needed to grab the sword off the ground.

With one large swing you cut the locket in half, finally killing the part of Voldemort inside it.

════════════════════════════════════════════

“Is everything alright?” Your girlfriend asks Harry, as she emerged from the tent.

“It’s fine.”

“Actually it’s more than fine.” Harry says, pointing at you.

You smiled as Hermione’s eyes finally settled on you.

You hold out your arms as she walked up to you, expecting to pull her into a hug.

She catches a glimpse of the sword in your hand and the look on her face causes your smile to falter.

Hermione is angry with you.

She turns to look at Harry and he only holds up the broken Horcrux.

“You destroyed it?”

“How is it that you just happened to have the sword of Gryffindor?” Hermione asks, crossing her arms.

“I got it from a vault at Gringotts.”

Before you could register what was happening Hermione was hitting you repeatedly.

“I told you not to go into her vault! If you had gotten caught you could’ve died!”

In a fit of anger she grabs a handful of leaves from the ground and chucks it at you.

Placing both hands on your chest she attempts to shove you.

Quickly dropping the sword you held her arms in place before speaking.

“Hermione wait, will you please calm down and hear me out?”

Hermione fights to get out of your grip but fails as you are considerably stronger than her she is.

“Hermione, please just listen.”

“I didn’t get it from her vault.” You explained.

“What?” She asks.

Before you could elaborate, Ron emerges from the tent.

“How come you’ve got the sword?”

Ron repeats the question and you glower at him.

You assumed he was finally done throwing his tantrum now that he’s back.

“As I was saying, I got it from a vault. Snape gave me the key to it.”

“What?” All Harry, Ron and Hermione say in unison.

“Snape led you to the only thing that could kill hocruxes?” Harry asks but it sounded more like a statement.

“That doesn’t sound right.” Ron adds.

“Well it’s the truth.” You state.

“I know it sounds insane but I don’t think this was an accident. I think Snape wants us to win.”

════════════════════════════════════════════

You sighed happily as you watched Hermione grab your pullover from the edge of your bed, putting it on.

She lifts the sheet to cover the both of you before leaning back, resting her head against your chest.

“You know we have two pillows for a reason. You can lay your head against yours once in awhile.” You joked.

Hermione hums, snuggling into you.

“Why would I do that when you’re so comfortable.”

You chuckle, your arm instinctively wrapping around her.

The both of you laid silently for a few minutes, basking in the afterglow before Hermione breaks the silence.

“How’d you manage to get the sword without your parents knowing?” Your girlfriend asks.

“I just made up a lie about Pansy needing me for something urgent and when my parents asked she covered for me.”

You say, not putting much thought into your answer.

“Pansy Parkinson?” Hermione asks, an edge to her voice.

“Yes.” You mimicked her tone.

Your girlfriend moves out of your hold, resting her head against her own pillow.

“Oh.”

“I didn’t know you two were friends.”

Hermione says and you can’t help the smirk forming on your face.

“Since first year. Surely I told you that?”

You decided to keep taunting her a little longer.

“No, you didn’t.”

Hermione remains quiet for a few seconds and you accepted it to be the end of the conversation but she speaks again.

“How many girls have to been with? Before me?” Hermione blurts out and your smile returns.

You shrug.

“A few.”

“A few?” Hermione repeats, sitting up.

Her eyebrows furrow and you don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone behave so adorably.

“It’s just meaningless sex Hermione.” You reassure, sitting up with her.

Hermione’s pout doesn’t leave her lips and you’re tempted to kiss it off.

“It’s different with you.” Your voice low as you planted a kiss against her shoulder.

Your hand finding her bare thigh, stroking it dangerously close to her center.

“It’s so much better with you.” You say into her ear and you feel her shiver under your touch.

“Really?” Hermione asks, turning to face you.

“You are the best sex I’ve ever had.” You plant a kiss against the corner of her mouth.

You watched as Hermione bites her lip, an obvious glimmer in her eye and you anticipate her next move.

Your girlfriend straddles you again, this time pinning you down against the mattress.

She kisses you with little restraint, she sucks on your bottom lip before her tongue entered your mouth.

Hermione’s lips are moving against yours shamelessly, her hands roaming your body as if claiming you her own.

If this is what it took to get this side of Hermione then you ought to make her jealous more often.

Your hands manage to rest on her ass for a moment before she grabs them to pin over your head.

Hermione runs her tongue along your jaw, eventually settling at the base of your ear.

She moves downwards, biting down playfully and you feel her grin forming against your neck.

Running her tongue along that same patch of skin before sucking on it.

You didn’t have to look at your neck to know she had left a bruise.

Evidently proud of herself, Hermione flashes you an innocent smile before climbing off you to get back under the covers.

She resumes her earlier position with her head on your chest.

“If you’re marking your territory next time it’d be easier to just pee on me.” You quip.

Hermione lets out a laugh before scrunching up her face in disgust.

“You’re nauseating.”

[captainsophiestark]

Exceptions

Grant Ward x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: The Bus kids are stuck at the Triskelion for a while since May and Coulson have a meeting with Fury, but Ward already has important plans that he can't cancel.

Word Count: 1,287

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: To the anon who sent me an idea outline for this, I hope you like it! It got merged with another idea I had, but hopefully, it's still pretty close to what you had in mind :) Thanks for continuing to read stuff for Grant Ward and enabling me to keep writing him- he's my fave, so I'm glad I have at least a few people to share the love with!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

Skye's POV

"Alright. May and I will head into our meeting with Director Fury. We'll meet you back here when we're done."

I frowned at Coulson, glancing at FitzSimmons and Ward to see if any of them would say anything. As expected, FitzSimmons just looked at each other, and Ward nodded to Coulson like he'd known this was the plan from the beginning, which I super doubted.

"Okay... and what are we supposed to do in the meantime?" I asked, turning back to Coulson and asking the question that must've been on the rest of our minds. May was already halfway out of the room, and Coulson stopped mid-step to address my question. He smiled.

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

With that, he turned and headed off with May again. I watched him go for a few steps, then put my hands on my hips and turned back to the rest of my group with a sigh.

"Alright, we've been abandoned at one of the biggest SHIELD bases in the world. I probably know the least about this place out of all of us, so... how about you guys? Any ideas?"

I glanced at FitzSimmons, then looked right at Ward. He had his arms crossed, and he shook his head and took a step back the minute my gaze landed on him.

"I don't know what you all are going to do, but I have somewhere I need to be. I'll meet you back here when May and Coulson are done with their meeting. Try not to break anything until then."

With that, he turned on his heel and started marching away. I let him get a few steps, then turned to FitzSimmons.

"So we're gonna follow him, right?"

"Oh, of course."

"Absolutely."

****************

Y/N's POV

A took a slow, steady breath, then refocused on the sample in front of me. I'd been staring through the eyepiece of this microscope for what felt like an eterity, finally getting somewhere with samples I'd been working with for months. I'd been stuck at the Triskelion that whole time, in a lab with the loudest of the loud field and ops agents coming in and out, constant noise and business no matter where we went. All of that was about to be worth it.

The rest of the lab completely faded out around me, even as I scribbled notes without looking at the paper beside me. The handwriting wouldn't be good, but it would be decent enough that I could decipher it later, and it meant I didn't have to take my eyes off the results of the experiment in front of me for a single moment. I'd carefully built my corner of the lab into what it was, a sanctuary from the noise and chaos, the perfect place to tuck away and lose myself in my research.

At least, normally it was. Today, someone had apparently decided to venture into my corner, as a hand on my shoulder made me shoot out of my chair and almost gave me a heart attack.

"Sorry!" came the frantic voice of my best friend, Mandy. "I didn't mean to scare you! I swear, I said your name, like, three times while walking over here."

I put a hand to my chest, taking half a second to catch my breath before turning back to Mandy.

"It's okay. Honestly, I don't think anything could've shaken me out of my focus without scaring me like that. Did you need something?"

"Just wanted to give you a warning. One of the ops agents broke containment and just wandered into the lab. Figured it'd be better if I interrupted you than if he did."

I sighed, long and heavy, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Are you kidding me? How did one of them even get in here-"

I turned to see the man in question and stopped dead in my tracks. Grant Ward, my boyfriend, had just stepped into the lab. I grinned.

"Oh, actually, never mind Mandy. This one's the exception to the rest of the ops people."

"Wow, no kidding. I don't think I've seen you smile like that since your experiment at the Academy won our final projects presentation."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't bother with more than that as Mandy took her leave and Grant finally made his way over to me. His smile matched mine, the two of us bringing out sides of each other most people weren't lucky enough to see.

"You didn't tell me you were coming!" I said as Grant finally reached me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me tight to his chest. He leaned in to kiss me, and it lasted a few moments longer than I would've let him get away with in public if I hadn't missed him so much.

"I thought I'd make it a surprise. Our team got detoured here last minute for Coulson to have some meeting with Fury. Lucky for us, they didn't need me to be there."

"That is lucky," I agreed, the two of us sharing a smile again. Grant reached up and gently cuped my chin in his hand, pulling me back in for a sweeter, slower version of our earlier kiss. I sighed when he pulled back and settled onto the lab stool next to me, his thigh pressed against mine.

"So. Wanna tell me what you're working on?"

"Happily. But I don't want to spend all the time we have together in this lab, so don't let me get carried away-"

"Don't worry, we should have all of tonight and tomorrow morning, with a small exception in a few hours when I have to meet back up with my team. I thought I could keep you company while you finish up here, and then we could grab some dinner. I found a great restaurant in the city last time I had an undercover mission there, and it'll leave us plenty of time for you to tell me all about this project you're working on."

"Grant, that sounds perfect. How did I get so lucky with you?"

"Trust me, the feeling's mutual." We shared a smile, smaller and softer this time, but no less special. Then, Grant turned to the microscope in front of us. "So... I take it you're doing something with this?"

"Yes! I finally have interesting results to look at, so your visit was well-timed. Let me tell you about what you're seeing here..."

Grant leaned into the microsope, bracing one hand on my thigh as I put one arm around his shoulders and rubbed gentle cirlces there, narrating what he was seeing on the slide as I went. Within the lab, I'd gotten a bit of a reputation for liking my space while I worked. But Grant would always be the exception to that. I was on cloud nine that he was here, and I wasn't going to waste a single moment we had together.

****************

Skye's POV

"I've never seen him smile like that!" Simmons hissed.

"And he always complains about 'technobabble' when I say more than a few three-syllable words in a sentence!" Fitz agreed. I just huffed a laugh.

"Yeah, well, he's not kissing any of us either. I think that might have something to do with the change."

Fitz and Simmons scoffed right along with me, the three of us watching the scene in the Triskelion's lab for a few more moments before finally shaking it off and heading back into the hallway. Whether or not we found something else to occupy our time until May and Coulson were done with their meeting, we at least had something to tease Ward about for the rest of our lives, which I'd take as a win any day.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinitelyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

[youdonthavetocallmedarlinnn]

It's been a few days since I've updated about my soul mate voluntarily leaving for rehab. This Friday will be three weeks since I've seen the love of my life. Summer was always our time. We always went on trips and took my nephews to cool places. This picture is from last summer when we took them to the beach for a few days. I know he'll be home soon but I find it hard to enjoy my normal summer activities like porch sitting for one because we always brought our crap out on the porch. I'd do my macrame and he'd do whatever it is he was into at the time like woodworking or stained glass. He sold the saw I got him for drugs this past winter. Sadly that was something he really cared about and it was in that and many other moments where I feared the person that loved might be getting too far gone.

Thankfully, he knew he needed help and made the decision that a lot of people get forced into by their family or the criminal justice system. He's been there before but this time is different because he chose to go on his own. Set it up and left of his own accord. As much as I miss him and I'm lonesome without him that one fact keeps me going. He's doing this for himself but also for us and our potential future.

So yea I might be sad that my best friend/soulmate/love of my life/father to our cats isn't here to reel in the beginning of summer with me with random adventures but I'm also so proud of him. When he calls and I hear his voice and he sounds like the man I fell on love with it reminds me that this will all be worth it soon enough.

I don't want to go through this ever again but I know that with recovery there is always a chance of relapse but every time he chooses to get help or takes the time ask for it or goes to his meetings he continues to build his personal blueprint for recovery. I have also learned more about his signs and mannerisms leading up to relapse so hopefully if it ever does happen again we can detour it even sooner than this time. 6 months doesn't seem very long but it was the longest of my life. I'm just ready for my person to come home and we can continue supporting and loving one another through the good times and the bad.

My family worries about what I'll do if he relapses again and I haven't had the heart to tell them that it won't matter. That is the live of my life and I am going to see him through because he would do the same for me. He's not a bad person even when he's on drugs. He's the gentlest spirit and I could never abandon him. I'm going to school to become a substance abuse counselor. How could I abandon the person I love if my career choice is to help the people that are like him? I want to do this with him and hopefully he will want to offer himself in service to those that are like him as well.

We're about halfway through, and then I hug and kiss the person that I love most in this world. We can heal and grow together like we were before, and I will do everything I can to help him in his recovery. I won't ever abandon him.

[blackbird-brewster]

Friday Fic Recs

Time for another weekly fic round-up! I've been kinda spacey this week (just feeling Extremely Autistic) but I have read a few things. Didn't write much though.

What I've Read

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, WC: 8652 Rated: E || Author: ninthwave (@gothprentiss)

Why I Loved It: I know absolutely nothing about boxing, but lemme tell you what.... a Jemily boxing AU!?!?!?! I uhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm very very gay. This is so well written. Ninthwave's narrative voice is so unique and the flow of this was incredible. Never knew I needed the mental image of Emily and JJ boxing each other, and now I'm extremely glad to let it live rent free in my mind.

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, WC: 39,514 Rated: M || Author: phoenix_falls (@otahkoapisiakii)

Why I Love It: I've had this on fic recs before, because I started my re-read in January, got halfway through and in usual ADHD fashion, forgot about it completely until this week. I just finish the second half and GOD. Every time I read this fic I am full of so much hnnnnnnnggggggggggggg. Tooth rotting fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, this fic's got everything! It follows the years of JJ/Emily's relationship from when they first start dating through to their wedding. Each chapter is a prompt of ways to say 'I love you' (without saying I love you). Honestly, just read it. It's worth your time.

What I'm Writing:

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, WC: 93,318+ (WIP) Rated: E Update: I posted Chapter 14 earlier this week, which means I only have ONE more chapter on this fic!! What a journey. This fic was born out of a four minute song, it was supposed to be a short little angsty Jemily fic and now I'm my longest fic to date and will most likely be over 100k with the final chapter. I never imagined this fic would speak to so many people, the love and support on this one have bowled me over. I'm so happy to get to pour my own experiences with grief, depression/PTSD, and healing into a fic. It's been extremely humbling to read everyone's comments. Thank you all for coming on this journey with me.

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, WC: 28,113+ (WIP) Rated: T

Update: WELP!!! After eight years, I have updated this fic! This was my main WIP in 2015 when I completely walked away from writing, which meant this fic was left on a cliff-hanger when abandoned. Last year I decided I was going to edit/tweak the chapters already posted and finally finish it. Yesterday, I posted the first update on TCAU since 2015!!! It feels wild to come back to this fic, my writing has changed SO much, but I'm trying to match my old style so the fic flows a bit better. Thank you to everyone who's stayed subscribed to this for yearrrrrrrrrsssssssss. Thank you for your patience and your gentle reminders that you were interested in an update. I hope I can do it justice.

Criminal Minds, JJ/Tara/Rebecca, WC: 10,135+(WIP) Rated: E

Update: I want to work on Chapter 3 soon! (Hopefully I'll get to start it today) I'm excited to see where this one goes from here. I really love these three and I'm so interested to explore them in a polyam situation.

More Fic Recs Under the Cut

Other Recommendations:

Past Friday Fic Recs:  [Friday Fic Recs - Tumblr] || [CM Fic Recs - AO3 Collection]

Rec Lists: [JJ/Emily] || [Tara/Emily] || [CM Femslash]

My Fics: [Jemily] || [Temily] || [All]

[etherealvoidechoes]

Ne Cede Malis - REDUX - A Twist of Fate

Something I've been sitting on and then reworked it some more as the writing monster tries to bite me. Bite harder dang it.

Took the old version, but applied Find Your Light to it, including Asaru and Bradford being bonded, but keeping Jynn in a Proto-Chosen state. So consider this the new canon of this AU.

Now 13.9k.

Warnings for language, violence, references to alcoholism, and references to self-harm.

Can't say when I'll have the new versions posted on Ao3 and FF.net. May just append/add as a chapter to the old ones with the appropriate author notes.

-------

“Ho—how much longer… until we reach the outpost, Bradford?” Manson asked in-between gasps of air and grunts.

“Not much longer. Should see it when we reach the top of this hill.” Bradford replied.

“And then how far from there?” He sounded so exhausted.

“Oh, ease up.” Laney rolled her eyes. “Fresh ain’t killing you.”

“The humidity is.”

“Should install a fan into your Gremlin then. Just try to not get thrown out of Shen’s workshop.” She playfully teased, only to get a few curses slung at her. Yuri let out a boisterous laugh.

“You’re just asking for him to get thrown out of Shen’s workshop. Again.” Jody snickered. 

“I didn’t know that was her workshop.” Manson said through gritted teeth.

“Go easy on the new guy.” Joshua shook his head. He grabbed Manson’s pack off his back and slung it onto his. Manson gave a quick thank you.

Bradford was leading a squad of about five, him included, through the backwoods of North Georgia. Partially into the Appalachian Mountains. Though it was a cool, spring day, a recent rain had saturated the air as Manson was not dealing with the humidity well.

There were some sound rumors there was a reputable Black Market dealer that made their home deep within the moments. In fact, they had turned an abandoned ADVENT outpost into their base of operations. A bold and dangerous play on their hand, but seemed like ADVENT didn’t care about this region. Barely any patrols ran through the mountain. Maybe the occasional dropship flew by, but not much happened. Hopefully, the trip was worth it. Heard the dealer may have been in possession of some sensitive equipment procured from an ADVENT facility. And they were always interested in getting their hands on sensitive equipment. No telling where it could lead them.

As they crested the hill, there it was. The outpost was off in the distance, just a few miles away. A white, grim covered building with several vines growing over it. The sun's rays glistened off one of those gaudy, golden statues of the Elders. A surprising sight. Those things were usually defaced or torn down when abandoned.

“This is a beautiful sight.” Asaru partially emerged from Bradford and peered around at the vast wilderness. Just so much greenery, bright greenery and colorful flowers blossoming all around. At least some of the Earth was untouched by what the Elders had done. 

“It is.” Bradford nodded. One of the positives of running field missions. Getting away from the constant swarming hub of the Avenger and those metal interiors was always refreshing. Thinking of metal interiors, they needed to do some redesigning and decorating to make the place more lively. Maybe some black market contacts knew some carpenters? Could use some more wood paneling that wasn’t just the bar and crew’s quarters.

“I need… to catch my… breath.” Manson sat down as soon as they reached the top of the hill. He wiped the sweat from his brow before taking a swing of water from his canteen.

“Make it short.” Bradford glanced back at him and then at his watch. They still had a good amount of time before evening would hit. He wanted them to at least get halfway back to the Avenger before nightfall to set up camp. He rolled his eyes when Asaru chided him; yes he was being harsh, but they had a schedule to keep.“You’ve gotta toughen up, man.” Laney was still playfully picking on him. She found a log to step on to do some stretches to loosen up her legs. “Can’t have you on missions if you’re getting this tuckered out.

Manson furrowed his brows at her. “Not used to the humidity.” He was more used to drier climates. “Still getting used to carrying so much gear. I’m more of an engineer than a soldier.”

Manson was a new recruit to XCOM. A former ADVENT engineer fed up with the life and lies. He lived through the invasion as a teenager, and things never sat well with him. Of course, all the things the Elders did were wondrous, but it was all a lie. And then education They brought made his engineering interests flourish, but once he was older and found a job, he felt used. Eventually, catching wind of this XCOM made him want a way out of this false “golden” life. And there were a few others like him. It took some work, but they orchestrated a rescue from XCOM and delivered some equipment and valuable information into their hands. A few left to help with some havens, but most, including him, stuck with XCOM.

He flinched several times as Yuri patted his back. 

“You’ll adapt in no time, kiddo.” He gave a reassuring smile in his slightly thick Russian accent. A jagged scar ran up the left side of his face, from lip to ear. His left eye was glassy, but there was a hint of life to it. “If you don’t, you’ll suffer Corvo’s wrath.” He wiggled his fingers and made an ominous “ooOooOoo” sound.

“Don’t remind me of him.” Manson huffed. He wished he never volunteered to join the more military part of XCOM. It was interesting, but he should have just stuck with the engineering crew, but there were hurting to have more people on the field. Corvo was a slave master when it came to training. He wondered how a man like him was married to Shay, who also helped with the training. She was miss peppy to mister cold… who had his own quirks. Annoying Bradford was one of them. 

“Our blue friend sensing anything off?” Laney asked, as she went over to Bradford after stretching. She noticed their resident alien had partially emerged. 

“No, just admiring the sights.” Asaru answered with a chuckle. “Earth’s natural beauty untouched by the Elders.”

“Ah, gotcha.” She nodded and smiled. “The Appalachian Mountains have always been -ahem- purdy.” She playfully jabbed Bradford’s arm.

He flinched, eyes twitching for a moment, before rolling them. “Laney…” A slight tinge of red appeared in his cheeks. Asaru laughed.

“Sorry, just remembering what slipped out during the briefing with Corvo and Shay. Channeling some of Commander Reeves and her brother.” She tried her best to stifle a snicker, but a snort slipped out. “Got stuck in that accent for a few minutes and Asaru didn’t help.”

“Yeah… yeah… yeah.” There was a slight dejection in his voice. He had Asaru to blame for random accent slips due to influences from previous hosts. But there was just something about Jynn, his old friend, their old Commander that came out strong. He never really had a strong accent, whether it be “southern” or “midwestern”, but because of Asaru, one was slipping into them at random

Hearing the dejection, Laney put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a good squeeze. “Hey, we’ll find her. Found her blue friend.”

“We will find her.” Asaru agreed.

“Right, thanks. Trying to stay positive… just miss her a lot.”

“I know. And she was a pretty cool boss when not in work mode. Heck,” she snorted, “kinda miss how she would go off on the idiots. Dress them down. Especially the pranksters. Remember the Chryssalid puppet?”

“Oh, do NOT remind me of that day!” He never realized how mean of a hook the Commander had and then she nearly bit him when he had to restrain her from attacking the culprits.

A few minutes passed by as they all caught a break, discussed some things, and made quick checks on the local frequencies. No ADVENT activity for miles.

“Let’s get going.” Bradford was ready to go and Asaru had re-merged with him. He was already moving.

In about half an hour or so, they arrived at their destination. The outpost. It was quiet. Dead quiet. Just the sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling.

“Hm.”

Bradford approached the door. He signaled for three of them to check the windows. The security lasers were down. Boards and tarps had replaced them, as there was no more power to keep them going. He gave another sign for Manson and Laney to have their Gremlins do some scanning. Better safe than sorry. Last thing they needed was them stumbling into a trap. Or a nest of Chryssalids. As they did that, he knocked on the door a few times in a pattern given to them by their sources.

“I have burned my tomorrows and my shadows.” And said the code phrase.

A few minutes passed… and no response.

“Hm.” He glanced over at Joshua and then Yuri.

“Lights out and the place looks empty on this side.” Joshua said.

“This side is dark too.” Yuri said.

“Backs empty.” Jody said, coming back from checking the rear.

“Hm…” He didn’t like that. He then looked back at their Specialists. Laney’s Gremlin had returned to her side.

“Reading no life signs but us.” Manson said. He was letting his Gremlin do more extensive scans. “Just cold on the inside. We’re the only hot spots.”

“Same here.”

“Hm.” Odd.

He looked at the door handle and gave it a tug. The door slide right open, with a bit of help. It stuck a few times and let out a grinding screech at one point. He winced. Somebody probably heard that.

Once fully opened… there was still no response. The place was empty. The lobby was set up like any other black market they had gone to. Several display cases containing various weapons, equipment, and resources. Dried meats handing off to one side. There were probably more items to be purchased in the side rooms.

“Hm.” He didn’t like this. His eyes glowed blue for a second. “Hm.” Still nothing. No other life signs. “Asaru?”

His eyes glowed again, this time lasting for over a minute.

“Nothing. No one else but us.” Asaru answered. “But something feels off.”

“Hm.” Always something. “Stay alert.” Cautiously, he entered. The others followed. He took in several whiffs and sneezed. Dusty. “Sea… salt?” But he was picking up a faint smell that was like the ocean in the room. Strange. Didn’t look like there were any candles burning.

His eyes glowed blue for a moment as he looked around. Still, they sensed nothing.

“Something is off…” Asaru repeated. “I can feel it.” Something was hanging loosely in the air, but he couldn’t put a tentacle on it.

“Picking that up too?” Yuri asked, nose wrinkling. Bradford nodded. “The air feels off.”

“Think it’s psionic activity?” He asked both Asaru and Yuri. Yuri was oddly sensitive to that. The doctors had done some tests. Said he had potential, and they were working on unlocking it with the help of their Templar Navla and then Asaru. Things were looking promising.

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Could be coming from an artifact lying around. Still, we should be careful.”

“I think so. But it’s strange… and familiar.” Asaru said. 

“Familiar?” Bradford thought back, just in case anyone was around that could be listening in.

“I can’t put my finger on it. I’ll study it some more.”

“Okay.” He then nodded at Yuri. “Agreed. Careful, everyone.” 

They all slowly spread out, weapons at the ready for anything, as they searched the outpost for any signs of life. But Bradford stayed in the main room. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. No black market dealer would leave their place unsecured like this. They usually had bodyguards besides booby traps. 

“Don’t touch anything.” He noticed Joshua was about to touch one case by the left wall. The man quickly apologized and backed away. Bradford didn’t take another step further into the room. Something still didn’t feel right. “The dealer could have some nasty security set up.”

“Way ahead of you. Daedalus, do your thing.” Manson has his Gremlin carefully scanning the room to pick up any traps. That blue grid touched every inch of the room. “Clear. Next room, pal.” 

As the team continued to investigate, Bradford finally moved. He went over to the counter to see what was on sale. Some elerium, elerium cores, alien alloys, and torn down magnetic weapons caught his eye. Especially that elerium. “Hm…” They rarely had such a thing on display, especially the cores. You usually had to ask for those.

“Hey! WHAT TH—AAH— MM! MM!”

“Who was that?” He asked loudly. The muffled yells of one of his squadmates caught his attention. His finger hovered over the trigger to his shotgun. Eyes glowed again as he looked around. He saw the life signs of everyone. Almost everyone. Someone was missing. “Sound off! Everyone!” He ordered. “Sense anything Asaru?” He sent to him. 

“I heard that! Still here!” Yuri said.

“Nothing odd on the scanners!” Manson said.

“Investigating!” Jody said.

“Joining her!” Joshua added.

No response from Laney. Of course.

“Laney is gone… Her life sign just suddenly disappeared.” Asaru said. “Someone or something is here! There’s an odd disruption in the air.”

“Be careful.” Bradford was leery and what Asaru said didn’t help the feeling. Things were looking like a setup.

As Jody and Joshua entered the room, they last saw Laney head to, no one was there. Minus her Gremlin that was frantically flying around a hole in the ceiling. Dust and debris trickled from it and a broken light fixture swayed back and forth just a little too fast. 

“Laney’s gone, but her Gremlin’s still here.” Joshua said, turning on his comms. “Light fixture is swinging. Think something pulled her through the ceiling.” He cautiously moved over to that hole, turning on his flashlight at the end of his shotgun to see what was up there.

Then something fell from that opening and made several metallic tinks on the ground.

“SHIT!” Jody’s eyes went wide.

“GRENADE!” Joshua yelled. “WE GOT TROUBLE!” He swiftly turned and headed back to the door. A second later, the grenade went off, letting off a loud bang and tossing up a lot of dust and debris. It was a flashbang.

A second later, there was a scuffle, several yells, and gunfire.

“Dammit…” Bradford cursed under his breath. He heard several wooden boards snapping from the left and right sides. Manson let out a blood-curdling yell and then Yuri spitting out several curses and gunfire before he was silenced. They were getting picked off quickly.

“There are psionics at use!” Asaru finally figured it out. “Whoever this is, they are actively hiding themselves with psionics and snuffing out our allies with it.”

“Great.” Bradford mumbled under his breath. He wondered who it was. ADVENT with some Sectoids or some raiders who had a psion? With the former, he wondered if the Sectoids had learned a new trick. “Get read—“

Before he could move to find his teammates, he noticed a black and white blur swinging down from the ceiling. Then something hard hit his chest. 

“AGH!” The wind was knocked out of him as he hit the ground with a solid thud. His shotgun clattered from his hands.

The world spun as he quickly tried to get his bearings. There was something else in that kick. It hit like a truck and was fogging his mind. Felt like psionics. A jolt arced across his body and mind. Definitely psionics. Asaru was quick at work, clearing it away. As his vision cleared, he saw what kicked him, dropping from the ceiling and heading over to him. 

Shit. ADVENT. 

They had a helmet that reminded him of one of those Stun Lancers. He pulled himself over to his shotgun and quickly grabbed it. Before he could turn it on his attacker, they were on him, kicking the gun out of his hands and planting a knee on his chest. The next second, they had on his hand on his face and in an instant the world blurred again. 

He felt that familiar electricity arc across his brain as his ears roared and drums went at work on his skull. He noticed a blue glow growing around them and streams of energy traveling from him and up their arm.

 Fuck, they’re the psionic! He recognized the unpleasant feeling over taking his mind, but this was different. He felt like he was growing weak. As if his life was being drained from him with each passing second. Hell, he felt like his skin was wrinkling, drying out as the seconds passed. A feeling he was all too familiar with when he and Asaru accidentally over did it one day. Luckily, the squad got them back to Avenger in time for treatment. Recovery was rough.

“Asaru!” He yelled in his mind.

“Working on it.” Asaru replied with a pained voice. “They’re quite strong… Draining us like a vampire.”

Need to get them off! Need to cut this connection! Desperately, he tried pulling their hand from his face, but they had one hell of a death grip. He frantically reached for his knife, but they were blocking it. He could feel the both of them growing weaker by the second. This was not how he wanted to go out.

“Get… off… me…” He spat as his eyes began to glow. A quick burst of energy should do the trick and knock them off.

“Hm…” They muttered as they brought their face closer to his, cocking it to the side. That was interesting. 

“>BOSS! STOP!<“ He heard the flanging voice of one Hybrid somewhere in the back. So the one pinning him down was the head of this group. “>These people are XCOM!<“ 

Bradford understood what they said and wondered if he was hearing things. Why the hell were they telling them to stop? But he noticed something… The draining… the draining suddenly stopped.

“>XCOM?<” The one on top of him asked, turning their head.

“>Yes! XCOM!<“

“XCOM.” This time they uttered in English. That surprised Bradford. And they sounded female. 

She carefully shifted to the side, making sure she still had him pinned as she checked his shoulder. That familiar blue, polygonal patch was there. “Hm…” She brought her hand back to his face, undeterred by the death glare and snarl he had going on. He winced when he felt a connection again, but this time, it felt like probing. A quick search through his mind. A gasp left her mouth.

“Dammit.” She then cursed under her breath. “>EVERYONE! STAND DOWN! THEY’RE FRIENDLIES!<“ She switched back to the alien tongue.

“You seeing… hearing this, Asaru?” He sent a thought to him.

“Yes… this is a turn of events.” Asaru was just as surprised as him. “There’s something… interesting about them. Familiar too.”

Familiar. That again. He wondered what that was about.

Who the hell are these people? Bradford wondered just who this was. Were they Skirmishers? Had to be with their flanging voices and calling him and his people friendlies. He was curious what clan had gotten the jump on them.

He still struggled under his attacker, wishing to be free, but barely had the strength to lift his hand. Oh, great. He noticed her bringing her hand back to his face. He closed his eyes expecting the worse, but… but he felt his strength returning. A sharp gasp escaped from his lips. His life was coming back.

“This is… interesting.” Asaru noted, feeling the life returned to the both of them. “Also sensing the others again and more. Looks like this one was hiding everyone. They’re a strong psion.”

A minute or two passed before she took her hand off his face and got up. And he felt like himself again, minus the soreness to his chest and back.

“Sorry… sorry about that.” An out of breath apology came from her. And she was speaking in English again. But there was no more of the flanging in their voice like the others. Like she turned it off like a switch. Sounded completely human. And oddly familiar. He couldn’t put his finger on it. There was also a strain to her voice and a slight echo. She was slightly hunched over. Did that life transfer reserve take the life out of her? The skin on the lower part of her face… her brownish-red skin looked unnaturally pale and wrinkled. And then, from what he could tell, her neck was black. Like it was burned.

“You stumbled into our trap. We thought you were some of the local raiders that have been plaguing the locals.” She extended a hand to him.

“Geez…” He quietly muttered to himself. 

He eyed her, especially that hand, finally having a chance to study her. She was about a head and a half taller than him, for starters. Never had seen a Hybrid so tall. She wore ADVENT armor; repurposed and repainted black and white. And that helmet was different. At a quick glance, it looked like a Stun Lancers helmet, but it was very different. It didn’t have that red ‘glass-like’ visor, instead an onyx curved piece took its place. Then he noticed this Hybrid had hair. White and brown hair. Hybrids didn’t have hair. This one had to be special as they also had psionics. Blue psionics. He thought he and Asaru were the only ones with that color. What were the Elders up to?

He finally noticed the symbol on the right side of her chest. Those wings and a star. Skirmishers. Ambushed by Skirmishers. His hunch was right. What were the chances? At least to was better than ADVENT.

“You guys set up one hell of an ambush.” He said gruffly. Just how troublesome were the local raiders for them to set this up? He finally took her hand and got up.

Just as he got up, the other Skirmishers were entering the main room, ushering in his people. They were all battered, highly confused, and ticked off. Manson was cursing out one Skirmisher in Persian. He had a dislocated right shoulder, and the Skirmisher was holding a very banged up Daedalus in their hands. Poor robot was letting out several pitiful beeps. No amount of “sorrys” was going to make the engineer calm down.

“>Sorry, boss,<” One Skirmisher in black armor came over to them, “>I missed their patches. I should have waited to give the signal.<”

“>It’s okay.<” She raised her hand to silence them. “>We already planned on taking any who entered alive for questioning. Thankfully, none were killed.<”

With that conversation over, she looked at each XCOM member. They were all pretty banged up. Cuts, bruises, and dislocated joints. At least none are dead. She then looked at Bradford. 

“Come back to our camp. Our medics can patch up any damage.” She offered. “And we have some supplies and intel we can share. Information on vulnerabilities to several outposts and some facilities nearby.”

“I think we should accept.” Asaru eagerly sent to Bradford. 

Bradford crossed his arms. An apology, of sorts. He wondered if he should accept it. They came out here for supplies and anything dealing with ADVENT. He would rather not leave empty-handed. And it would be best to keep the peace. Last thing Betos probably wanted to hear was some of her people attacking him. Hearing another curse from Manson as Yuri, with the help of one Skirmisher, popped his arm back into place had him leaning towards accepting it. A quick patch up would be a good idea. Probably would spend the night with them, depending on how long it took. And he and Asaru probably needed a rest after that draining to be on the safe side. They had their life back, but who knew what the lasting effects could be?

“Everyone needs to recover. We need to recover. And we have questions for this one. I feel like I know that.”

That familiarity Asaru was picking up, and Bradford felt like he was feeling it too. It would be best to investigate that. Hopefully, their Skirmisher host would be more than willing to chat.  

“We accept.”

————————————

“What’s your clan?” Bradford asked. 

As they were following the Skirmishers back to their camp, and were nearly there, he had been studying their armor, looking for identifying markers for one of the clans local from the area. So far, he was finding nothing.

“I know a few in this region that Betos has informed me of, but not seeing anything on you guys’ armor that says who you are.”

“We don’t exactly have a ‘clan’.” Bastion answered. He had come to know her as ‘boss’ or Bastion. She was still wearing her helmet even though her subordinates had removed theirs as a sign of friendship. Must have been secretive. He was half tempted to read her mind, but decided against it. Asaru also chided him, saying it would be a poor idea as this Hybrid was powerful. “We’re more nomadic.”

“She’s being truthful. I can sense that.” Asaru said in his mind.

“Huh.” That was interesting and odd. Even the more nomadic clans had a name. At least Asaru could pick up there were no lies.

“You can call us Twilight Drifters.“ Attis, the one in the black armor, butted in. Looked like she was Bastion’s right-hand woman. ”Boss is a bit hesitant about a clan name, but we all felt like having some sort of name was better than nothing!” She let out a hearty laugh as she smacked Bastion’s back several times. Bastion grunted with each hit. She turned her head. The corners of her lips were twitching as they slowly turned into a frown. That just got another laugh out of Attis and there others joined in.

“Here we are.” Bastion said as she moved some brush out of the way. The camp was active. It was a series of cabins deep in the woods they had taken over to be their base of operations for the time being. A mix of Hybrids, some humans, and aliens were moving about and working.

“Attis. Turel. Get them to the medics.” Bastion instructed. “And Hol’tul and Ermes get the intel from Varkner and his crew. And get some food scrounged up and sleeping quarters prepped for our guests, just in case. ”

“Yes, boss.” They nodded and went about their duties. Attis and Turel were already barking out orders to the others to alert the medics as they led Bradford’s crew away.

“You,” she pointed at Bradford, “follow me.” She started heading over to one cabin off to the right.

He raised a brow, but shrugged. Probably had something to tell him. His ears only. 

“Keep tabs on the others and be prepared for anything.” He sent to Asaru.

“Being cautious?” Asaru replied with a slightly teasing tone. Bradford rolled his eyes.

“Have too. That familiarity comment from earlier has me both curious and worried. Kinda feeling it too, but concerned.”

“Yes… right. I still can’t shake the feeling I know them.” 

He soon followed Bastion.

————————————

After they entered the cabin, Bastion locked the door. Didn’t need their conversation being disturbed.

“Hm.” Bradford looked around. Looked to be her quarters and the situation room all in one. A bed shoved into a corner and then several maps plastered on the walls, along with photographs and various weapon crates, spread about. Reminded him of rougher times before he found the surviving remnants of XCOM. He didn’t miss them.

“Again, I’m sorry for the injuries my people caused to your people.” She as said as she headed over to a table. She placed her rifle on the table and started taking off her armor. The gauntlets were the first things to come off.

“It’s fine.” Bradford said. Well, it was to a point. But he could ignore it. They were still alive. “Just one hell of an ambush. How the hell did you hide from our sensors?” He was curious about that.

“Psionics.” She raised her hand, forming that very energy into an orb. “I can deaden our life signatures. Makes us untraceable to most sensors. Usually takes a strong psionic to pick up something is wrong.” With that, she let the orb disappear. “Though, somehow, you and one of your men noticed.”

“Strong psion indeed.” Asaru noted.

“Huh.” He wondered if Sectoids could do that. That could be a potential headache. Something to note for the future. Especially if ADVENT started fielding Hybrids with psionics. “We just smelled salt. Sea salt. Like there was an ocean nearby.” He still found that strange. “And…” He paused for a moment to raise his hand. Should I?

“You sure about that?” Asaru was hesitant.

“Want to stay in her good graces and gauge her reaction.” He sent back. A second later, he formed a few orbs in his hand, shifting them between his fingers. Just as blue as hers. “I’m a bit of a psion myself, and my man, Yuri, is a budding one.”

Bastion gazed at him as he displayed his powers. Studying him with great intent. “Hm.”

How he wished he could see the face behind the mask. She was good at hiding her emotions.

Just as she pulled off her last bit of armor, she felt woozy. Body wobbling for a moment before her legs gave out. She barely caught herself with the table, hands slamming down to stabilize herself.

“Dammit.” She grumbled under her breath.

Bradford raised a brow. He dashed over to her and helped her back up. “You alright?”

“It’s… complicated.” She grunted. She was out of of breath. “Thanks.”

“You need a medic?” He noticed she still looked pale. She shook her head.

“They can’t really help me.” Another grunt slipped out as she leaned on the table. She looked around until her eyes fell on something. “Can you bring that capsule over to me, please?” She pointed at a cylindrical device.

He fetched the capsule and handed it to her. She thanked him again as fiddled with it. The thing lit up in hexagonal panels that suddenly spun out. A white mist poured out of it. And something glimmered inside of it. She pulled out what looked to be a black crystal about the size of his thumb and sealed the capsule. The crystal had a blue shimmer when the light passed through it.

She gripped the crystal tightly in her hand and channeled her psionics. There was the sound of cracking until a loud snap was heard. Black, blue, and red liquid seeped from her hand. She opened her hand. The crystal was shattered, revealing the liquid came from with in it and a few shards had pierced her skin. Before a single drop could fall, the liquid retreated into those cuts; discoloring her hand to a pitch black. She took in a sharp breath as her body shuddered as the discoloration traveled up her arm. Just as quick as it came, the discoloration disappeared back to a brownish-red. But she looked better. Her skin looked more lively, especially around her face. That paleness was fading.

“Okay…” Bradford wasn’t sure what he had just witnessed. More weird alien stuff. This Hybrid is special. 

“Hm. Something’s wrong with her.” Asaru said. 

“You think?” Bradford felt like that was obvious.

“Yes…” He responded in an annoyed tone. He knew it was obvious. “Reminds me of me and my damage. Just a familiarity I sense deep within her.” He continued. “And the energy from that crystal seems familiar… familiar from one of our dreams.” 

That made Bradford curious and concerned. He didn’t want to think of the unpleasant ones the both of them had been having as of late. A bunch of irritating and cryptic bullshit.

“Just who are you? What type of Hybrid are you?” He asked, pointedly. The question had been nagging at him for some time, and he wanted to cut to the chase.

“Hm…” She grimaced, turning away from him. Looked to be a sensitive subject. 

“Look, I don’t mean to—“

“No, it’s not that.” She interrupted him. “I don’t know how to put this…” She glanced over her shoulder. Looking at him for a few seconds before turning her head away. “I think I know you… and you know me.” As she said that, she began to remove her helmet.

“What?” That made no sense to him. He’d never met her or her group before. Nor did her name ring a bell from some operatives Betos had shared with them. And it was a long list. Just who were they?

“I wasn’t expecting this.” Asaru noted, growing more curious by the second. “Perhaps someone from our past, an operative turned Hybrid, but recovered their memories?”

“That is… possible.” That never even crossed his mind. He knew some Hybrids weren’t clone born, but most could never recall their past; just fragmented dreams. That was for the best.

They watched like a hawk, curious to see what she looked like underneath as that helmet came off. A Hybrid having hair was still a surprise to him. As she removed the helmet, he noticed a few oddities. She had ears. Hybrids didn’t have ears. Then there were no ports from what he could see or those surgical scar lines from them. And there should have been ports, as those helmets connected into them.

She set her helmet down on the table, took in a deep breath, and let out a sigh. Almost like she was hesitant to turn her face fully to him. But she finally turned.

“Long time no see, John.” There was a warmness to her voice as she said that. “Can’t believe you’re alive.”

John? He never told her his first name. Maybe from the probing earlier? “How the hell–“ But as she turned, he paused. Those features, she looked more human than the average Hybrid, but some genetic modification was evident. Eyes spaced further apart and a bit larger, a flared nose, and an odd gauntness to her face. Reminded him of one of the Chosen, but with a more human looking skin tone. But there was something about those features that looked too familiar to him. The freckles… Why was her voice familiar to him? 

“Impossible…” Asaru gasped in his mind. “It’s her…”

“What the… no…” Looked like the gears were turning in Bradford’s mind at the same time. He gasped. He knew her. They knew her. “Commander Reeves? Jynn?”

“In the flesh.” She gestured to herself, then outward.

“No. You can’t be…” No. That was impossible. Had to be. No way she could be the Commander they were searching for. No way this person was his missing best friend. In those dreams…. No. Nightmares. In those nightmares, he saw what she looked like. She was in terrible shape, a walking corpse. And here she was, not in that terrible state, but still equally concerning. 

“You can’t be her.” He shook his head. But he was moving closer to her. 

“It is her… I believe… I can sense it.” Asaru said. He was just as shocked at he was. But he was hesitant in his analyses, carefully scanning her being. Hidden tentacles reaching out. “She’s so… changed and… damaged. She doesn’t seem to be a clone… but that can be hidden, and I’m hesitant to do a deeper scan.”

“I am Jynn Gresham Reeves, Central Officer John Bradford.” There was a slight annoyance in her voice as she looked at him with hooded eyes. Saying his title and full name just a certain way seemed to make him snap too. It was her. But a sigh slipped from her lips. She could understand his disbelief. “Though… changed.”

He reached out to her, raising a hand towards her face, but he stopped. He quickly retracted his hand and turned away, covering his mouth. He tried his best to stifle his disbelief, his weeping. This can’t be her. But all those nightmares of her damaged and partially transformed appearance were playing in his mind.

She let out another sigh and shook her head. “John.” She placed her hand on his shoulder, but he pulled away. He couldn’t acknowledge her. He was barely acknowledging Asaru, who was trying to ease his emotions.

It was a minute or two before he turned to face her again. His eyes were bloodshot. Tears stained his cheeks.

“What the hell did They do to you?”

Jynn sighed. Them. She crossed her arms and looked away. 

“A lot of things.” She didn’t know where to start. “They nearly killed me several times with Their experiments as well as being the brains behind ADVENT. Tactical advisor running 24/7 nearly nonstop for several years. Really should be brain dead from all of that.”

“So that theory…” Asaru paused and sighed.

“So that theory is true…” Bradford voiced what Asaru said in his mind. He was thinking it too. He had been always a bit hesitant about that theory, but all the data they had been gathering, mind probing he and Asaru had been doing on captured Captains, and just how ADVENT worked leaned towards it being true. And he hated the idea of it being true, even if it meant she was still alive. 

 “Won’t be surprised if they have a clone of me running the system or some brain scan backup, but I see there has been some breakdown that’s been happening since I escaped.” She then tapped at her chin and looked off to the side. “Though Maker said that probably wouldn’t work due to several reasons.” Shaking her head, a dark chuckle slipped out. She could see the Elders frantically working to make the perfect replica of her, but falling terribly. But she soon sighed. 

“A clone? Hm… that may explain those discrepancies we’ve been picking up in the network off and on over the years.” Asaru noted.

“Great. Something else to investigate and deal with.” Bradford mentally grumbled.

“Raal’Maker…” There was a warmness to her voice as she uttered that name. “I have him to thank that I’m even alive. A rather benevolent Elder.” She still couldn’t believe there was a benevolent one in that Collective, and supposedly his mentor had the same mindset as him. Perhaps there were more levelheaded ones under his mentor. “He tried fixing the damage several times before they ripped me away from him again. Really, my health is still terrible.”

“Benevolent?” Bradford wanted to scoff. He recognized the name, but strongly believed none of those things were benevolent with what they did to the Earth.

“Trust me, he’s a good one out of Their mad Collective. Pretty much the only one who was truly concerned about my damn health.”

Health… Does she know about her split from Asaru? He rubbed his chin, nails picking at the prickly hairs, as he eyed her changed form. That paleness to her face was nearly gone. But her features. Her face looked to gaunt. “What about your health?” He almost didn’t want to ask, but he had to. 

“I can’t put this lightly….” She looked away from him. “I’m dying, John.”

“What?” He knew she was going to say that, but part of him was still in disbelief about the whole thing. She repeated herself, which made him look away. So that was happening, just like Asaru.

“Think she knows it’s because you two split?” He asked Asaru.

“She may… but you should ask. Pry a bit more.” He responded. He wanted to reach out to her, but was hesitant.Was she truly the Commander Reeves they were searching for? 

“Right…” He mentally sighed. Needing more gauging. He looked back at her. “Do you know why?”

“What the Elders have done to me…” She touched her face, pushing at her sharp cheekbones and the strange plating-like growths that lined them. “They’re careless. Tried turning me into a Chosen when I was still broken, even after Maker’s warnings.”

“What.” Now that… He wasn’t expecting to hear that. A Chosen. To imagine her as one of those abominations was impossible. But that’s why she looked the way she did. She had some of those familiar features akin to those deathless pests.

“Those fools.” Asaru hissed. Angered welled inside of him.

“A funny thing, almost a twisted irony of sorts. I’m more like Them. Parasites feeding on ‘lesser’ creatures to survive.” She shook her head and laughed. “Maker was right. Something like this would have happened.” She looked back at him. A pang of guilt entered her heart as she bit her lip. She fed on him. Could have gone too far and nearly killed him. But something about his energy was so good. “Sorry about draining you earlier. I try to incapacitate the head of the group first and was just a bit hungry.”

Bradford was about to say something, but quickly snapped it shut. He didn’t know what to say. There was a lot to process.

“At least that draining wasn’t instantaneous.” He cracked a joke. Mainly trying to cheer himself up. She chuckled at that, but soon sighed. “And there’s something else.” What else? He didn’t want to hear it.

Jynn raised her hand and let her psionics flow freely from her hand. It took on the shape of a thin, four armed humanoid creature. Looked kind of like the Elders. 

“I’m missing a part of me. Something happened that day they captured me at the base. I was connected to some being that was helping us. Guiding me.” She tried to explain. “When that Muton grabbed me… I disconnected to that being and haven’t been the same since.” She closed her hand and let the figure dissipate. “Even the Elders knew of whatever was connected to me. Called it the ‘Ascended One’ or something like that. Disappointed it was no longer connected with me when They started Their experiments and got me hooked up to their war machine. But They were still looking for it.”

“She knows.” Both he and Asaru thought at once. It was her.

He looked at the figure she made one last time before she let it disappear. Looked exactly like Asaru.

“I take it…” He paused, trying to find his words. Should Asaru reveal himself now? Both were conflicted about how they should do it. “I take it you’re looking for this thing?”

She nodded. “Been at it for a few years now. Why my group moves around a lot.”

He let out an exasperated sigh as he moved over to an open spot on the table and leaned onto it. He rocked back and forth.  This can’t be happening. But it was. Somehow, all of this was happening.

“So, what have you been up to?” Jynn switched topics, hoping that would soothe his mood. She didn’t want to dwell on the subject for any longer. Hated thinking about her poor state of health. “I see XCOM’s still alive in some capacity.”

“We’ve been fighting back.” He nodded. “And we’ve been looking for you.”

“Just like every other fact on this pl—“ Her ears and eyes perked up. “You’re been… you’ve been looking for me?”

“I didn’t believe you were dead for a second.” He looked at her. He still couldn’t believe it. “They captured you for a reason that day. And the information we found reinforced that… and then some dreams… visions I had.”

“Huh. Really?” She was surprised to hear that. Even more surprised when he said yes. She was touched. He still believed she was alive in this mad world and probably a few others. But the dreams comment was… strange. “How many thought you were crazy? Wasting resources looking for a ghost from the past?” She knew there had to be a good amount of doubters irritated with him and whoever else was insistent that she was still alive.

“A good handful.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

She laughed at that. She could only imagine his irritation at all of those who probably called him and the others crazy.

“Also…” She slowly stifled her laugh, clearing her throat for a moment. She looked at him from head to toe, eyes flashing blue for a second. “How long have you been a psionic?”

“Huh?” A question he wasn’t quite expecting, even though he had showed that off earlier. He was just about to ask her a question. Looked like that had to wait.

“How long have your been a psionic?” She repeated. “You showed me a little earlier and then when I pounced on you, I picked up on it, too. You even resisted me. Don’t recall any tests back in the day from Vahlen showed anything, but then again, we were all busy and I wanted all tests to be allocated to the soldiers.” Couldn’t waste resources on testing just any personnel. Her eyes fell, narrowing into a glare as she thought of the doctor’s eagerness. “And she really wanted to test me… makes me wonder what things would have been like if she did.” She grumbled under her breath.

“This may be the way to tell her.” Asaru said. “Maybe she sensed me and is hesitant to ask?”

“We’ll see.” Bradford replied.

Bradford cleared his throat. Where to start? How to start?

“It’s something… I acquired a few years ago.” He said. “The whole affair was a surprise, really.” Surprise was an understatement. That day was a massive headache, but a great boon to the Resistance.

“A semi-stress or trauma based awakening?” She asked. She knew those could be a nasty way of learning one had psionics.

“Not exactly.” He shook his head. The day was stressful. “I’m actually bonded to… a being. That’s how I have psionic abilities.”

She raised a brow. Did she hear that right? “Repeat that?”

“It’s best if we showed you.” He took a step back. “Asaru.”

As he stepped back, Asaru emerged from him. That tall, slender Ethereal floated towards her. His bulbed tendrils drew close to her, but hovered just a few inches from her body. She gasped at the sight, backing away slightly.

“Hello, Commander Reeves.” He said to her.

“You.” Just the very being she had shown Bradford minutes earlier. She reached out to him, touching his chest. Soft, slightly gelatinous like a jellyfish and almost like he wasn’t there. Like it was just air there with a hint of mass. In turn, he gently touched her arm. He was there, really there. She wasn’t seeing things. She could feel him and that energy felt so familiar.

Trembling eyes jumped between Bradford and Asaru. “What? How?” 

“It’s a long story, Jynn.” Bradford sighed. “Short story is my crew, I, and the Templars found him and the people that were protecting him a few years ago. I was the only viable host for him because of his damage. We’ve been bonded ever since.”

“Damage?” She had so many questions, but hearing that caught her attention.

“Our sudden separation damaged me.” Asaru said. “Damaged us both. Our bond ran deep.”

Jynn opened her mouth, ready to ask more questions, but closed it. She didn’t know what to ask first. Really, what could she ask first? She shook her head. The separation. She knew she was the reason behind for sudden separation that day. Those memories had become more clear overtime with her freedom. She recalled that she was growing more aware of Asaru as the War raged on. And the Ethereal didn’t stop that. No longer wanting to be a silent guide once the Elders were stepping up Their attacks. And then they captured one of Them. 

Just so much happened those happened weeks, if not days, before the base fell. The Elder they had captured and what they said. Many cryptic warnings, threats, and expositions. Somehow They had also sensed Asaru inside of her and were adamant that she turn herself over to the rest of the Collective immediately. She thought nothing of it at first until the same Elder and the others started plaguing her mind with unsettling nightmares. If she only knew what would come next after that interrogation killed that Elder.

She shook her head again, sniffling. Tears already forming.

“Gosh…” Some of her old Cajun accent began to slip out. That made Bradford raise his brows. He hadn’t heard that in a long time. “Gosh darn, I’m… I’m so sorry.” She shook her head. “I did this to the both of us.”

“It’s okay.” Asaru reassured her. Touching her face with one of his tendrils, followed by a hand. “You did not know that would happen. I did not know.”

“I… I…”

“Your quick thinking gave this world more time.” He hushed her. “If They had the both of us… things would be so much worse for this world and so many others. They would have Their own Mosaic.”

“Mosaic.” She growled at the mention of that word. What a horrible machine. So many, if not all, Zudjari enslaved by one of their own. Feeling an anger well up inside of her, she took a step away from him. “They’re still actively working on trying to replicate and ‘improve’ upon it. Mildly thankful that the Fragmenta they’ve tasked with replicating and restoring the Zudjari technology they’ve found have been purposefully dragging their feet.”

“Really?” Asaru wasn’t surprised by what the Elders were doing, but to hear the aliens there were working with were purposefully stalling the development of that infernal machine was interesting.

“Fragmen- what?” Bradford asked. An alien name he was unfamiliar with.

“Hard to describe them. Sapient pieces of metal, interstellar gas, cosmic dust, and who knows what else.” She answered. “They have an extremely thin truce with the Elders, but make their displeasure towards the known with every meeting. Feels like they want to kill the Elders.” She wondered how that truce still existed. Perhaps they were waiting for the right moment to break it and strike against the Elders.

“That’s… interesting.” He rubbed his chin. Aliens that hated the Elders, and these sounded fairly powerful if they had a ‘truce’ going on with the Elders. He wondered how their war went with the Elders… if they even had one. “Can we consider them friendlies… to a point?”

“I’d consider them allies. The only Elder they seem to like working with is Raal’Maker.” She shook her head, but chuckled. It always came back to him. “Also his mentor and those under his mentor. Oh! And one more pleasant Elder, a part of the Earth occupation. Her name is A’Va’pur. Probably another reason why the Earth’s environment isn’t totally screwed over.”

“Another ‘benevolent’ Elder?” He questioned.

“‘Benevolent’ Elders?” Asaru added. Bradford still didn’t believe that was possible.

“Trust me. Despite everything the current sept occupying Earth has done, the ones I spoke of are quite nice.” 

“That is interested.” Asaru tapped at his “chin”. “She speaks the truth. I sense it and so can you.” Asaru picked up no lie from her. Bradford sighed.

“If you say so.” He had to see it to truly believe it, though he could feel the same thing as Asaru.

“So what was that crystal?” Asaru asked. He hovered over to that canister that contained that strange crystal she used earlier. A tendril touched it.

She looked over at him. “Something Raal’Maker supplies me with.”

“You’re still in contact with that, Elder?” Bradford asked, surprised to hear that. She nodded.

“Raal’Maker and I have distant contact.” She said “He provides me that,” she pointed at the canister, “when he can. And some other gear. Lots of dead drops. His brethren as watching him like a hawk. They believe he may have a hand in my escape. He didn’t.”

“Exactly what is it?” Asaru was curious. It had a strange energy to it. Almost as it had a form of sentience to it. Benevolant… and malevolent. 

“The crystalized blood of the Weavers is what he told me.” She said. “Something about it can sustain me for a while.”

“Another group of aliens?” Bradford asked. She nodded.

“A nickname given to them by other species they’ve interacted with. A benevolent bunch that helps others. Kind of like you and your species, Asaru.” She tapped her lip. “I think I remember Maker mentioning your kind and them have met before on good terms.”

“Really?” That was interesting. He longed to meet more of his kind. Now, he really wanted to meet this Maker. “But…” He looked back at the canister and then her. A few tendrils reached out to her. “I sense a… malevolence in this blood. That very malevolence courses through your veins.”

Her mouth pulled back into a grimace. She looked away. “That…”

Bradford raised a brow. He moved closer to the both of them.“What is it?” 

“Let me show the both of you.”

She reached up to her collar of her under armor and pulled it down. From the chin down, her skin was black. An unnatural black. Like something had charred it black. And there was something else. Eyes. Sharp blue eyes that looked like tattoos were near the center of her neck. Four in total. But there were some others on her neck where more eyes could be, except they were closed.

“Goodness…” Asaru hesitantly reached out to her.

“What the hell…” Bradford moved closer to get a better look at it.

“A gift from my ‘benefactor’. A Weaver of questionable morality and methods.” She questioned if she could even call it that. “Something the Elders fear and it equally hates Them for some transgression They committed against it… him… I don’t know. And then several other species They’ve screwed with his ‘friends’ with.” She shook her head. “Feels pity for me for what They’ve and has helped stabilize my form to a point… against my permission.”

This Weaver hated the Elders? At first, Bradford thought they may have had another ally until she continued to describe this being. Sounded like she didn’t like it. Trusted them even less. 

“How does this connect with the crystalized blood?” Asaru asked. A pair of his tendrils were touching the marks on her neck. 

“Somehow, his blood is mixed in with the other Weavers. The Weavers as a whole are deeply connected to one another. Raal’Maker does his best to filter it out, but he can’t get rid of it all.”

“So this ‘benefactor’… this ‘benefactor’ helped you?” Bradford asked next.

She nodded. “He helped stabilize my health and reverse a good amount of damage that was done… with what he had to work it… And he’s made more offers to heal the damage, but I don’t trust him. I’ve refused them.” She really didn’t trust it, though its words were sweet and soothing. “The Elders fear it for a reason, though They’re not innocent from Their crimes.”

He picked at his lip as he listened. This being had the ability to heal her, but only so much. And was making offers to heal her, but with a catch with what she said. “I take it this being is still making offers?” She sadly nodded.

“He’s patient… Scarily patient… The offers haven’t stopped.” She shook her head again; arms tightly wrapping around herself. “Sometimes… Some days… I’m tempted to accept them just to be me again. Human once more.” It was such a dangerous temptation, and she had a feeling if she accepted, something terrible would befall her.

“Damn, Jynn…”

How long had she been suffering? Living such a tortured existence? A cosmic plaything from the sound of it. This is so much worse than his fears of finding her in some lab dissected like some animal and… hopefully dead. 

He reached a hand out to her. Out to her neck to get a better look at himself, but retracted his hand. Instead, he stepped forward and hugged her. Hugged her tightly. He felt like it was the better idea. Felt like she needed a good hug. Jynn froze, arms open and drawn back. She was hesitant to touch him. She had been waiting for this, but not so suddenly. A sigh came out as she wrapped her arms around him. Nestling her chin against his head as tears streamed down her face.

Asaru drifted away from the two, wanting to give them some space. He could sense their shaky emotions. And a deep turmoil and conflicting within Bradford. That love he had for her. It would be interesting to see if he ever brought it up. He wondered how they would tackle that. For the time being, he looked around the room. Especially towards the map and intel she had pinned on the wall.

During the time, she looked at his features. How the years and stress had aged him. She wondered if the scar on his cheek came from the day the base was attacked. Probably wasn’t his only scar from that day and over the years. She ran his fingers through his hair a few times. Seemed like he didn’t mind. In fact, seemed like he welcomed it with the happy “hm” that slipped out. It surprised her to see him let his hair grow a bit, but he had an odd haircut going on. Partially shaved, starting just above his ears.

“About the hair…” She said, breaking the silence. Fingers toying with the little ‘tuft’ of hair. “Interesting cut.”

“Felt like letting it grow out.”

“But the partial shave?” She asked next, fingers feeling the border between the shaved and non-shaved side. He just shrugged. He didn’t really have an answer.

“Huh.” She just chuckled. “The little tuft is cute.” She flicked it.

“I have to ask…” Bradford said, pulling his face back to look at her. There was a question nagging at the back of his mind. Why hadn’t she reached out to XCOM? “Sounds like you’ve been free of the Elders for some time and been running with the Skirmishers for a while…” His voice trailed off, wondering how he should touch the subject. He shook his head. No scratch that. The answer is obvious. “Scratch that question…”

“What’s the question?”

“No, no, no…” He shook his head again. “The answer is obvious why you never contacted us. Never contacted XCOM. What’s happened to you. How you look.” He could barely imagine how that would have gone, especially if they didn’t have Asaru. Probably a hefty amount of disbelief. Part of him was still in that territory. 

She sighed hearing that. He was perceptive. “That’s exactly why… and then I didn’t know if it was being run by survivors or just a bunch of bandits stealing the name. I’ve run into quite a few of the latter.”

“Ugh… tell me about it.” He hated those bandits the most. They already had to deal with the doubters who thought XCOM was a part of the Council and Earth’s leaders that sold out the Earth to the aliens when they were betrayed by them. That was a headache with the Reapers’ for the longest until Volk finally straightened things out. “Having to clear XCOM’s name in some regions is a pain in the ass.”

“I can only imagine the trouble.” She chuckled. 

The two continued to stay in each other’s arms. Bradford eventually brought his hands went up to her face to examine her features. This new form twisted by the Elders. Like the Chosen, but a proto-form of sorts. But there were so many familiar features. Those freckles. It was her, but… she was so changed. And dying. He ran his fingers down her jawline, expecting to feel any remnants of pulled ports under the skin, something some Skirmishers did once they were freed. But there was nothing. It was smooth, besides that wrinkled skin that reminded him too much of Dhay-Vol’s, the Warlock, face. Why did she have to look like them?

 She seemed unfazed by him doing that. Almost expecting him to do that. She welcomed it. The touch of an old friend. His hands felt nice. A bit rough from calluses, but nice.

“At least they let me keep my freckles.” A little joke to lighten the mood. He chuckled for a moment before the sadness returned.

“Hmph.” He let out a snort, shaking his head. At least she could make a joke out of such a terrible thing. “How kind of Them.”

A question nagged at the back of his mind. Something she said earlier. They’re careless. Tried turning me into a Chosen when I was still broken, even after Maker’s warnings. Just why did the Elders risk doing such a thing?

“Why did the Elders do this?” He asked. She let out an annoyed snort.

“They wanted an asset and weapon in more ways than one.” She explained. “XCOM was coming back. What better way than to have the leader of said group be the one to crush it?” The Elders enjoyed doing that. The Hunter was a fine example of that. A Reaper turned against his own kind. “Kon-Ris…” She shook her head. There was sadness in her voice. She pitied him. “They don’t care if they have to break you to remake you. Even when one of their brightest advises against it.”

“…Why.”

Hearing that just hurt him deeply. To imagine, if she was still in Their clutches, she would be one of those Chosen. Having to fight an old friend for Earth’s freedom. How would have that gone? What would they have done if they had learned of her identity? What would he have done?

As he continued studied her features, he felt another pang in his heart. The woman he loved had been tormented by those Elders. And despite seeing her like this, he still loved her. He dropped his hands down to her shoulders. Head lowering, gaze fixed on the ground, as he dug his fingers into her shoulders. She sigh and patted his back. She hadn’t let go.

“I never got to tell you…” He paused, hesitant to continue speaking. 

Should he tell her? This could be my only chance. She is dying. How long will she live if this can’t be fixed?

Asaru turned his attention towards him, sensing what was about to do. “Careful now. Steady yourself.”

“Tell me what? John?” She noticed something glisten, falling to the floor. Tears again. They must have been flowing. 

He tightened his grip again as he took in several shaky breaths. He raised his head. Those tears were flowing, just streaming down his face. 

“That I love you.” He finally said it. Fighting off any hesitation that wanted to come through. Felt like an enormous weight was taken off his chest.

She blinked once. Then twice. Eyes darted around, landing on Asaru, who quickly turned away, before focusing back on him. He looked serious. Did she hear that correctly?

“W-w-what?”

“I love you, Jynn.” He repeated himself. More confidence in his voice. “I’ve had these feelings since we were teenagers.” Sometimes he wondered how she never noticed it back then, but she was rather oblivious to guys flirting at her kin high school. “Just kept it under wraps when we met again because of the Invasion. Couldn’t have them getting in the way. Kept it strictly business.” 

“Uh…” Her mouth hung open. She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. This was a revelation to her. Her lack of response did not surprise him. Probably not the best time to tell her, but he needed to get it off his chest.

“I am such an idiot…” She let out an exasperated sigh.

“Huh?” Not the response he was expecting.

She shook her head and smacked her forehead with her palm. “My mother was always the one to point out guys that had a crush on me and I’d just ignore her. She did the same with you!”

“Really?” He asked, holding back a snort in-between sniffles. She nodded.

“Hell!” She smacked herself again. “Explains why my dad was fine with me hanging out with you so much and inviting you on trips.”

“Really?” Another surprising detail. He and Mr. Reeves had a friendly relationship, but he found her father to be a rather intimidating person when he was younger. “He did scare me.” 

“Seriously?” She held back a snort.

“To a teenager, a military man like him was very intimidating.”

She thought for a moment. A snort slipped out. “You’ve got a point there.”

Eventually, after the declaration, Bradford pulled away from her. Almost having to pry himself from her grasp. He didn’t want to move away, but he needed to breathe. Just so many thoughts and emotions were going through his head. He paced around the cabin as he rubbed his face. 

At least she didn’t negatively react to me sharing my feelings. He was happy that didn’t sour the mood.

As he paced, he looked around the room. Eyes falling onto the maps, photos, and blueprints that Asaru was looking at. One photo had a big red circle around it and a quick note scribbled next to it that said “SEND TO BETOS”.

Betos.

“So how long have you been with the Skirmishers.” He asked. He had stopped in front of the photo that had the note. He noticed another photo circled and an arrow pointing to a location. And another note saying, “SCOPE OUT MORE. HIGH SECURITY. HIGH PRIEST IS HEAD OF SECURITY. MAY BE THE PLACE. WILL NEED BACKUP. KEEP IT STEALTHY.”

“About five years or so.” She said. “Still not fully one of them, to be honest.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, how I’m more nomadic for staters and I’ve never told Betos my identity.” She explained. “She never pressed me again once I told her it was for my safety and hers if she never knew it. Last thing I need is the Chosen knowing who I’m with. Especially Jax-Rai.” 

She and her group had far too many close calls with the Assassin. She was thankful Jax-Rai never used her psionics like Dhay-Vol. Would have figured out who she was ages ago, but thankfully her identity was still hidden from them. But she piqued their collective interest. A psionically capable ‘hybrid�� was running around with the Skirmishers. That caused a new set of problems for her.

“Those things.” He grimaced. He had received some intel from the other factions that those three were hunting something for the Elders, but they didn’t know what. The information was always classified on another Network they had no clue of how to reach. Now he knew it was her.

“It’s amazing you’ve managed to avoid them for so long.” Asaru said.

“They’ve been annoying.” Which was an understatement. “I avoid Dhay-Vol the best I can. Trying to hide my psionic signature when he’s on his hunt is nerve-wracking.” She hated him the most. Had to fry his brain on a few occasions just to escape. Somehow, he was still oblivious to her identity. Should have picked up her psionic signature from her attacks. But maybe her benefactor, that Voice, was hiding it? That thought crossed her mind many times. He could have altered her signature ever so slightly to aid her.

 “Jax-Rai is a pain and I think I’ve pissed her off with how much my people and I have escaped. And we’ve bested her a few times… .” She shook her head, but chuckled. “Though I think she enjoys the chase. Exhilarating is how she’s described it.” Such an odd comment to receive after besting her. “Kind of like her brother, Kon-Ris. Though not as mad…” She bit her lip. “Hunter… I feel like he’s figured out who I am… but is keeping it secret for some reason.”

Bradford couldn’t imagine the amount of stress she was under, having to hide from those three. But her comment about the Hunter interested him. The wildcard of the siblings.“He’s figured you out?”

“Think so. Said a few things he shouldn’t know about me. Enjoys calling me Gresham and brings up XCOM a lot.”

“That’s interesting…” Asaru noted. 

“And he hasn’t told the others or the Elders?”

“Hates his siblings and hates the Elders even more… Probably some part of his brain blocks the info from the Elders.” She was curious how They hadn’t picked that detail up yet. “He’s always been a wildcard for the Elders after an incident with the Reapers happened that made him more flippant. Why he hunts ADVENT and aliens too.”

“We’ve noticed that a few times.” Asaru said. “He is an interesting one. Almost as if he has a split personality.”

“I believe he does, literally.” Jynn said. “I’ve heard several voices in his head. Mostly the Elders, but there’s this small voice. Crying for help. Trying to remember who he was. I believe that may be the old him.”

“Huh.” Both Asaru and Bradford responded. Something to look into later. Questions from Volk.

“So what’s this? Noticed Asaru staring at this intently.” Bradford pointed at the photo with the note of wanting to scope out some facility with high security. And the photo showed that. There were standard Troopers and MECS all over the place.

“The possible clone.” Asaru said as he shifted his attention back to the photo and intel.”

“Hm?” She went over to see what he was pointing at. “Oh that. Yes, I have a feeling that’s where they may have my clone or ‘backup brain’ running. Want to take it out. Disrupt their tactical information Network again.”

“Ah.” Bradford simply nodded. He would have to ask about that in greater detail another time. Still couldn’t believe that theory was true. Explained how ADVENT worked like a well-oiled machine since they were founded.

“So, when’s the raid happening?” He asked.

“Still in the works. Have to scope it out more and request backup from the local Skirmisher clans.” She shook her head. “Though I want to keep it stealthy as possible. Don’t want them teleporting the asset and any other backups out of the place before we get to it.”

“Hm.” Smart. He knew he had some facilities he had people scouting. Get as more information as you can before striking. But there was always a risk. He thought for a moment as he rubbed his chin. “Well, you could… join us. Join XCOM.” He suggested. “We’d be glad to back you up. Glad to have you back.”

Asaru looked at him when he said that. He was thinking of them making the offer, but was unsure, sensing a deep unease within Jynn about her current form.

She blinked a few times as her eyes went wide. Both brows raised high. He has to be kidding. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. 

“XCOM is your home.”

“John…” She wasn’t sure of that anymore.

“Our medical team may be able to help you.” He almost sounded desperate as he said that. “Hell, the Templars may be able to help you! You and Asaru need to re-bond!”

It was a tempting offer, and the latter was true. She could sense they both needed that, but she wasn’t so sure.

“What will your people think of me?” She asked. “Is there anyone there besides you that knows me?”

“Corvo Samaras.” He quickly responded. As if he was prepared for that question. “He was one of the training officers that moved between the bases fairly frequently. Got nicknamed the ‘slave master monk’ by most of the recruits.” 

After naming him, he started naming more. Soldiers, doctors, engineers, and other staff that had survived the downfall of all the bases. She covered her mouth as she listened to him. But from her trembling eyes betrayed her. She recognized several of the names.

“So many of you… so many of you guys survived.”

“And we’re still finding more as the years pass by.” He smiled. “Most haven’t given up the fight. They’ve been eager to join up with us.” He chuckled. “And you’ll be surprised with who’s running the Templars.” Mentioning that made his smile grow into a grin. That was still a surprise that day. He still wanted to get Geist for being cryptic for all those years.

“Yes, that was quite the surprise. He hasn’t changed much.” Asaru agreed.

She looked away, bitting her lip. Join them? It was such a tempting offer. XCOM was her home. But so much had change. She had changed. “But what will they think of me?” That was something he didn’t want to think about, but knew it would be a problem.

“I know some back on the ship will be hesitant. Some won’t agree…” He knew several were still quite anti-alien; including Hybrids. And some still questioned his bond with Asaru. They were barely tolerant of the Skirmishers and any aliens that had defected. Given the opportunity, they would kill them. It was rough keeping that from happening with some meetings and joint missions.

Sensing his mind drift off to the darker parts, Asaru placed a hand on his shoulder. Bradford glanced at him and nodded. He needed that. Needed to stay positive. 

“But you…” He gestured to her. “You’re alive.“ He felt like that was the only thing that mattered. “I don’t think I can let this chance meeting be a secret… Can’t just suddenly drop the search for you. Some will question that.”

He had a point there.

“I don’t know.” But she was unsure. She turned away, taking a few steps away from the both of them. “I have to think about it.”

He reached out to her, but stopped himself. “Just think about it.”

“But I must ask… which part of you is asking this?” She glanced over her shoulder. “That military side of you? Or the part that loves me?” That declaration was still on her mind.

He looked away, closing his eyes. He placed on his chest and clutched it. “Both.” He couldn’t lie. He didn’t want to lose her again.

“Hm.” She looked at Asaru, who only nodded, confirming what he said. That’s… concerning. But made sense. It just made her leery. And something else bothered her. More personal.

She paced around the room as she mulled over his offer. It was so tempting, but she had her worries. But she also knew she and Asaru needed to re-bond at some point. She could sense he was doing fine with Bradford, hovering in some sort of stable condition, but there was still that lingering damage to him. It made her heart hurt.

 And then what would her people think? She couldn’t just leave them behind. She shook her head. Like they would let that happen. They would follow her to the ends of the Earth, no matter what. They told her that on several occasions. Swearing their loyalty to her despite her protests. They were beyond grateful that they were free of the Elders’ enslavement.

She looked back over at them. Both had busied themselves with looking at the intel and discussed some things.

“Maybe…” She muttered as she went back over to him. “Maybe I can join… rejoin XCOM. My people and I can join you all.”

“Hm?” Both glanced over their shoulders. Looked like they were deep in thought. It took both a moment to process what she said. “Would they be fine with that?”

She nodded. “My people are flexible. Practically have sworn their loyalty to me. They listen to me first before listening to Betos.” That was a headache, but somehow they worked around it.

“That is interesting, but XCOM can always use more people.” Asaru chuckled.

“Huh.” Bradford nodded. Looked like she never lost her commanding skills. That made him smile. “Have to figure out the logistics, but we can always use more people. Though integrating more Hybrids is going to be interesting.”

“And there’s always that…” Asaru shook his head. That was a constant headache, no matter what.

“Guess we’ll just have to see what happens when you introduce us to everyone.”

“Right.” He said, then sighed. “Think I need to send a warning first so a few of the levelheaded staff can help me. Got a radio I can borrow?”

“That sounds smart. And yes, we do.”

  Bradford looked at his watch, then over to the window. Through the slits of the curtain, he could see the sun disappearing behind the trees as the sky darkened. He let out a yawn before rubbing his temples. Looks like the effects from the ambush were finally kicking in.

“Think we may be staying for the night.” Was probably for the best. Never fun trekking through a forest in the night. Anything could happen.

“It would be wise to do so. We need to recover.” Asaru said.

“Sleeping quarters should be prepared for you all by now.” Jynn said. “And we should have plenty of food to go around.”

“Thanks for the generosity.” And he meant it.

“It’s what we do.” She smiled.

“Back to joining… rejoining XCOM… I would like to snuff out the local raiders before leaving. A bunch of psychopaths.” She said. A hiss slipped out as she wrinkled her nose. The world was already hard to live in with ADVENT running things, and some people just had to make it worse. No ounce of empathy. No sense of remorse. Everyone was fair game as they pillaged any camp, haven, or ‘authorize’ settlement they came across. Especially the weak. “Also, I’m waiting for some of my people to return from supply runs. Should only be a few more days.”

“I think we can help with that and we won’t be leaving this region for a while, so we can wait on those supply runs.”

“Sounds likes a plan.”

She then gently patted his back a few times before heading to the door.

“And Asaru.” She turned to him. In a way, she couldn’t believe he was there. She was so happy she no longer had to search for him.

“Yes?”

“I know we need to re-bond, but I don’t think we can do that anytime soon.” She sighed. “I feel like we’ll only hurt each other further. A downward spiral of draining will occur.”

“I also sense that.” He nodded. “I believe we’ll need a medium to facilitate the bond… but also your body needs to be healed.” A few tendrils touched her body. “Your conversion, barely at the halfway mark… I question if this can be undone or should it be allowed to finish…” And he didn’t like the idea of it being finished. A new form forced onto her by the Elders.

“Maker believes he may be able to reverse this…” And she prayed he could. “If not,” she tried to hold back a sigh, but one slipped out, “he has selected a few species that would best suit me to complete this transformation and purge the Elder DNA from my system. Right now, he’s trying his best to get the heat off of him so we can properly meet.” She wondered how long that would take. “Though he has his worries about how the process may go.”

Bradford closed his eyes tightly, hearing what she said. The chance of her condition being unreversible tore at him and hoped it could be done. “Is he worried about lasting damage affecting the process?” Bradford asked.

“That’s one thing, and then one of the methods he’ll be using.”

“What would that be?” Asaru asked, curious.

“He’s been cagey about it, but I think it deals with the blood of the Weavers and their DNA. And I understand why… But I’m willing to take the risk.”

“Really?” Bradford questioned, with a hint of worry in his voice.  “Are you sure?”

“I just want to be me again. Not some abomination of a weapon of the Elders.” She shook her head. “Hell… hell… I’ll take another Hybrid form that doesn’t have Their touch and broken DNA.”

“Hm…” He was worried, but it would be a discussion for another day.

“Now,” she clasped her hands tightly and forced a smile, really wanting to change the subject, “let’s get your current crew updated on who I am and what’s going on.” She then unlocked the door. “And then go from there.”

He nodded and followed. Asaru merged back with him. “It’s going to be interesting telling them. Laney may remember you. She’s another soldier that spent most of her time in the main HQ.”

“Laney?” The name didn’t ring a bell.

“Laney Stavros. She was a medic. Still is a medic.” 

“Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Maybe seeing her face should jog some memories.”

“Maybe.” Hopefully it would do the trick. There was a glimmer in her eye. She was somewhat excited to meet a survivor from the old base.

“Also…” She paused as she opened the door. “We’re going to have to talk about this… love… thing.” He was waiting for that.

He nodded, a small sigh slipped out. “I know.”

“It could become quite troublesome when I rejoin and th—“

“I know.” He cut her off. He knew the risks. “I’ll try to push it to the side, but…” He paused, sighing as he looked away for a second. He turned back and looked her in the eyes. “I don’t want to lose you again. Okay?”

Her brows scrunched together, part of her lips turned into a grimace. “Hm.” Her eyes flashed blue for a second. She was picking up a lot of strong emotions from him. And a lot of conflicting ones. “Yes… And you still feel this way, especially after seeing how I am now?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in his voice.

She closed her eyes and huffed. What to say? She didn’t know what to say.  Now she was feeling conflicted. She felt something deep inside of her. Almost as if she felt the same way towards him, but wasn’t so sure. That part of her was a mess already. And then her current state of health wasn’t helping. She couldn’t reciprocate those feelings… for several reasons. 

She sighed deeply, closing her eyes tightly. “I want to drink, but can’t.” Damn Hybrid makeup.

“Jynn, no.” He put a hand on her back. “I know the feeling, and that leads nowhere good. Trust me.” That was a hard habit to break, and he still needed to be careful. “And then your Hybrid make up. Alcohol oxidizing into formic acid. Go blind and die. Give or take some steps.” He shook his head, remembering that being explained to them. Just how much of it was a side effect of how the Elders built the Hybrids or did They do it on purpose as a control method. He was leaning towards the latter. “Thooooough”, he extended that for as long as he could as he leaned closer, “some of our resident chemistry majors may have figured out something Hybrids can imbibe in. It has become a rather lucrative bargaining item.” What some would do in their spare time… and for love.A snort slipped out from her. “Well… we’ll discuss this later. All of it.” Her voice trailed off as she continued out the door.

“Understood.” He nodded and followed. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Don’t make me regret it. All of this.” Though she didn’t feel like she was going to. This all felt like a new start, that light shining, burning through the depths of an ensuring darkness.

He chuckled. “I can’t promise anything. Just don't count your chickens before they hatch.” A yelp slipped out. Eyes flashing a quick blue, she gave him a slight shock of energy.

“Jerk.” She was grinning.

“Missed you.”

“Missed you too.”

[they-them-mayhem]

Some Background

So I started this Klaine fanfiction in 2012. I'll be the first admit that my writing wasn't at its best; I was just glad that people loved the story so much! Especially since it's kind of a cathartic way to process the trauma of my past. A lot of the abuse/issues/problems/insecurities my characters suffered were similar to my own experiences.

But I digress.

As Let Me In grew in popularity, as the characters developed, and-not to toot my own horn-as my writing improved, I fell in love. I LOVED my story, and I was so inspired by all of the support given to me by my readers. However, I was still under the control of my abusers, and I let them dictate my life. I had to write below the radar, and then I eventually had to abandon Let Me In, leaving it unfinished. I was devastated, but it was what it was.

And then came the long, drawn out process of healing. I got out of my abusive situation thanks to some incredible people who've had my back for as long as I can remember. I owe my life and happiness to them, and I'll never be able to thank them enough.

But this post isn't about me.

Fast forward six years-I'm healthy, happy, and can't stop thinking about Let Me In. Truthfully, I've never stopped thinking about Let Me In. I wanted to finish it; the problem, though, was that original Let Me In didn't really get good until over halfway through the story; it would never reach the full potential I knew it could have.

My decision?

Revive and revise.

I posted an announcement that I was bringing Let Me In back, and I was SHOCKED that so many people showed their excitement. I truly didn't think people were still hanging around this story. It made ME even more excited! However, life always gets in the way, and in the course of four years, I only have six chapters done. And of course I feel guilty, because I feel like I've continued to make empty promises, but I want this revision to be fully complete before I start posting anything, because people don't deserve another unfinished story from me.

So here's where the blog comes in. For anyone who was following me before, here's the proof that it's coming. You can see sneak peeks, updates, random drabbles, and any new people can hopefully join this family I felt like I'd found so long ago. And even if everyone has given up, this is for me, too. I need to finish Let Me In, for the sake of my younger self, and to feel like I can really heal and move on from my past.

And if anyone wants to join and enjoy the ride with me? Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to give Let Me In another chance <3

Love,

Darrenchris6

[cheshirette]

Happy New Year!

here's some of my thoughts of 2022 and what i want to do in 2023 ↓

2022

This year started off nice, I got to work on cool projects and I tried out so many new things. Unfortunately halfway through the year it went downhill and despite being hired for my first ever job, it sucked and I fell into depression.

Fuzee visited me at home for the first time ever, and he stayed with me for a few months. This was probably the best highlight of the year for me because I missed him for so long... I was seriously struggling mentally and just having him here with me has done wonders. I was determined to work hard so I can eventually move out and stay with him.

Living here at home isn't doing so well for me. I still live with my parents and I have a very controlling Mother. I've been purposely avoiding her so that I can be at ease, and I would put so much effort into locking myself up in my room or going out with friends. I hope I can finally get away from this next year.

Emotionally, I was doing really bad. October was super bad, and my friends were nice enough to help me get back on medication. I feel like ever since I went back to fix myself up, my long lost motivation came back and I've been drawing so much and it feels so good! I'm really happy I got to go back to this.

Lots of friendships crumbled this year, but I also befriended many people this year too. I'm still really sad about this separation and I continue to yearn for the old times where all my friends hung out together and nothing was wrong, but I have to leave those memories behind. I do miss them a lot but.. I dont know, I was left conflicted for so long.. I'm still grateful for all the friends I met this year.

I finally opened up design commissions as this was something that many friends encouraged me to do, and so many people were interested. I was worried it wouldnt go so well but I was surprised to see the demand!

I did a lot of new things and picked up old hobbies I've long abandoned due to depression. I bought lots of new books and read a lot of them and bought a new sketchbook from the farmer's market and decorated it with stickers I had lying around. feels weird how I got over my sticker anxiety but its soooo nice decorating things and it makes me feel so relaxed!

Commissions were super slow and I feel like it was hard for me to get around with my absence during my last job. I need to work harder.

I recently started getting back into drawing things with backgrounds so I hope I can keep this up.

I got more comfortable in streaming and didnt feel so anxious after having meds. I even hosted my first birthday even and I'm glad it was successful!

2023

This year I have a weird goal where I want to collect as manu stickers to the point that I can fill up a box. I like using stickers and tapes for decorating my sketchbook so I hope to collect more.

My biggest goal for this year is to move out of this house with Fuzee. I cant stand being in this toxic household and I havent felt safe in a long while. I plan on raising money so I can get out.

I want to make merch, stickers or small postcard prints sound nice

I want to make little comics on my ocs again like I did years ago, especially now that I feel like I can draw anything

I aim to explore doing Live2D stuff so I can do commissions for it in the future

I hope to get hired for some job position again. I wish I could get hired for character design 💦

I wanna do weekly(?) community drawing session with viewers and enhance my stream setup and hopefully upgrade my computer.

I wanna go on a trip next year somewhere, I think it would be nice to go to the mountains again.. 🏔️

I want to try and do silent vlogging. I got invested in it last year and I want to give it a try ✨

There's probably more but I'm just generally excited since it's bunny year 🐇 Thank you all for sticking around with me, I'll try my best this year!!!!

[pankakeperformer]

I don't think the reply sent, so I'll just send it as an ask. For art, there's this pattern of Perceived Skill and Judgement. Judgement is your knowledge and the ability to see the flaws/what needs to be improved on in your art, basically how you analytically see your work. Perceived Skill is your skill level (or how you think of your skill level) and more about feeling. Sometimes your Perceived Skill is higher than your Judgement, and sometimes Judgement is higher than Perceived Skill. What you're in right now is when you can see the flaws of your work analytically and your perceived skill level is not where you think it should be. This is a difficult place to be at, and often times will require taking a break to get some perspective, or taking it easier. And I will say from personal experience that during these periods of time, it's easier for me to take a break/take it easier as it lets me feel actually energized to get back to work and I'm able to do more when I do. Hopefully this rambling helps slightly :') just stuff I've learned over the years that I hope can help in some way.

Thanks for the advice. I find it hard to stop myself from drawing because it's honestly just become a habit for me to just draw and doodle whenever I don't have anything to do with my hands, but the thing is all I've been able to do with that is awful little scribbley sketches that I abandon halfway through. In fact I've gone through like half of a sketchbook like this. It's funny I'm gonna say I gonna take a break, but then I'm probably gonna push out some more art despite that. But thanks for the advice, I think it helps put my thoughts into perspective.

[crestfallenchimera]

Yap session cus I just spent 2 hours doing dishes at Subway

Every year or so I decide to write a new fanfiction to better my writing. In order (mostly), all of the fanfics from all the different fandoms

Three Dimensions of Hell - Batim. The original is lost to time, the handwritten pages rotted in a landfill. I tried to rewrite it after a year and gave up. I have only a vague idea what it was about and I remember thinking that fanfiction was an original concept that I invented. I do know that it was greatly inspired by the music video for Masterpiece by CG5

Shattered Glass - Cuphead. I still have the handwritten chapters in a drawer and I cannot bear to gaze upon the pages. So cringe. As was I. But it was my first experience with actually planning chapters and an important step in my writing. I got about 20 chapters in before I gave up.

Happy Pills - Spongebob. The first fanfiction I fully completed and still have record of. Its still on my Wattpad because I cannot bear to erase my history again. I condemn it.

Breaking Walls - Creepypasta. Was intended to be a story where I slowly killed off every single creepypasta in somewhat fitting ways but I lost motivation about 7 chapters in because I left the fandom.

Pessemistic - Friday Night Funkin. My masterpiece. In 2021 I spent the months of March through August crafting this garbage and I hold it so dear to my heart. Unfortunately, I cannot reread the story because it was written during the time where Keith was the headcanoned name for Boyfriend, and because of a deeply upsetting experience that name makes me nauseous. This has prevented me from doing a rewrite of the story, which I tried to do almost every year after I initially completed it. I might just rewrite it as an original story someday.

Sticks, Stones, Stupid Ghost - MHA. Like my creepypasta fic, I only got about seven chapters into the story, which was long enough for me to kill off Deku. I lost motivation quickly, which I do mourn because I would love to see how it would have turned out if I had finished it. I lost interest in the fandom disappointingly quick.

I took a break from writing fanworks for a year or more, with the exception of the satirical shrek fic that I still update to this day. Between my job and working on an idea for an original novel (which I have almost entirely abandoned) I had limited time.

Loser Boy Blues - South Park. Currently still updating this and its my longest fic yet. I am incredibly proud of myself so far. The entire story is plotted out, about halfway written (draftwise) and I've been experimenting with angst related subjects that are not (entirely) related to self injury and ending one's own life. It's a huge step from my roots, as rather than the aforementioned topics, the story deals with struggles of grief and anxiety (although, we still have the best friend to lover pining. I cannot uproot myself entirely.) I've been working on it for nearly a year and have written almost 30,000 words.

Oath of Mortar and Oak - Regretevator. Not yet released but I'll be publishing soon so I figured I would mention it anyway. I am excited to write a shorter angst fic, one that (hopefully) wont take months to complete. No need for filler. Also partially to help me practice managing several works at once.

This of course doesn't consider any that never/barely left the drafts, so I'll give an honourable mention to:

All Figured Out - Miraculous Ladybug. I did not infact have the plot of this figured out

Monstrous - Monster High. Was intended to be a short story about Draculaura and Clawdeen falling in love because every time they appeared in my dreams they were sooooo gay

Unamed fanfiction - Steven Universe. I am grateful I threw away the pages because what the actual hell was wrong with me. I will take the contents of the story to my grave

The Other Side of the River - Stardew Valley. Pierre x Morris? What was I on when I was planning this out?

Sugar, Spice, and One to Many Romance Novels - Pico's School. I discovered there was no Nene x Cassandra stories and took it upon myself to write two and a half chapters before giving up

Breaking Worlds - Creepypasta. This was a Ticcimask fic. I have learned the errors of my way and I think its a weird ship. Was intended to be 40 something chapters but never made it past 3

First Aid Kid - MHA. Was a Bakudeku fic where Bakugo became all soft (slowly) that I gave up on after writing one chapter because I realized I didn't like Bakudeku

Revengers - Helluva Boss. Loona x Reader. Again, I wrote one chapter and gave up (although in this instance it was because I jumped in with no plot or plan)

I think that's all the fanfictions I've ever written/attempted to write (with exceptions of oneshots). I've got just as many original novels, of which not a single one has left the drafts, but I do have a few that someday I'd like to work on and I might just yap about them as well.

Yap session over

[august-ia]

As soon as the fairy could no longer hear anything but the sound of the forest and his own footsteps, some of his temperament disappeared and he felt dumb for reacting so strongly. August could stand and ignore a lot of things but it was difficult for him to admit to himself that rejection, something he'd gone through his entire life, especially from someone he thought he liked spending time with ( despite their differences ), made his chest hurt. It was hard to come to terms with since he liked to think nothing affected him and he could brush it off with his eternally resilient attitude.

But more often than not his emotions took control and made decisions for him. He'd been scolded for it more times than he could count, how he seemed incapable of thinking rationally whenever he was being emotional. August had little problem navigating the forest even if it was unfamiliar to him, his wings lifting him up above the trees whenever he needed extra guidance. When he did reach the pumpkin patch, now much calmer, he wasn't sure if he was expecting to see Lee Know or not. When he wasn't there, he decided to wait, and wait he did far longer than his impatient personality thought possible.

He'd already started to become certain Lee Know had actually abandoned him or he was so lost he'd never find his way out of the forest by the time the other finally showed. August had been sitting on the wooden fence by the entrance of the patch when he spotted someone familiar- with just a patch of orange he wasn't used to seeing on the other. He was wearing the crown. He had to resist the urge to run to the other, something he tended to do with people he knew when waiting for them to reach him always felt too long of a wait, his eyes as sparkly as Lee Know's hair was about to be from the sight. August oftentimes showed his affection towards the people around him through gifts and seeing them enjoy the things he gave meant a lot to him, even if in this case he'd sort of thrown it at Lee Know.

Once the mirrorwalker was at a hearing distance, August looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers much like a child who was now ashamed of his earlier outburst. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, glancing towards his roommate while most of his line of sight was blocked by his hair dangling on his face. "I just- thought we could watch a movie together, I promise I'll be quiet," it wasn't the main point of his outburst but it was a good start. "Um," he looked towards the silent pumpkin patch, "The witch told me to wait here for you and disappeared, she knows our names. Don't you think that's a little weird?" The place didn't look ominous though and he felt far from being on edge. Instead, the sight of the pumpkins looked sort of inviting and beautiful. "Okay, are you ready to pick some pumpkins? Tag! You're it," he grinned out of nowhere, his mood already lifted from before. He poked Lee Know very lightly ( hopefully leaving no glitter on him ) and ran off, realising his mistake only as he was halfway falling down a sinkhole of some sort. Or was it a trap?

🎃 Stay lost with me ~ august & lee know

[fleurspun]

The Art of Pretension

summary: You strike a deal with Nikolai to save yourself from a disastrous arranged marriage.

note: fake dating nikolai lol english is not my first language u might see some errors and also you can find this on ao3 

word count: 5.8k

When my tutor asked me where I saw myself in ten years, my twelve-year-old self answered something along the lines of pursuing higher education in Ketterdam University and occasionally taking trips to The Grand Palace to annoy Nikolai, a prince of my age whom I was often forced to study with to promote ‘friendly competition’— whatever that meant, about being forever his older brother, Vassily’s shadow.

Ten years later and I don't think I'll be fulfilling the latter any time soon for very unfortunate reasons, including Vassily’s untimely death.

Instead, I'm sitting on a velvet blue chair on the other end of the King’s newly-polished marble table, which felt comically long, by the way. Instead, I abandon my shame and face the boy who I was now obligated to call the Tsar. Instead, I was here in Os Alta to make a proposal. Literally. Because in the next few seconds, I would be asking Nikolai Lantsov, the Tsar of Ravka and the reason for the many wrinkles in my forehead, to...

"Marry me." 

I say it with my whole chest as if I was simply barking out orders at a palace servant, "Or, at the very least, pretend like you want to marry me."

We are both rendered speechless by what I had just said, and our silence is as uncomfortable as a sock rolling halfway down a shoe-clad foot.

There’s a subtle look of shock present on his face before quickly schooling it back to something a little more controlled, "Little bossy coming from somebody who wants my hand in marriage, no?"

Huffing, I sink back into the chair, "Pretend hand in marriage." 

Silence falls on us again, but this time Nikolai has his brows knitted, trying to figure out why'd I want to do this in the first place. After all, we've spent the better half of our mortal lives in a catfight. It could've been counted as a childhood rivalry, yes, but unfortunately, Nikolai and I are both destructively competitive, much so that what was once a quarrel between 9-year-olds over simple geography and literature became a fight between 22-year-olds (who both have much better things to do) over politics and pride.

It takes a good minute before he gives up, striding across the floor to get to my seat. He sighs, planting a hand in front of me as he leans into the marble, "You've got me again, princess. Go, elaborate."

"Parents want to marry me off to this Fjerdan boy, and he's terribly stupid and arrogant." The words pass through my gritted teeth, "I am a scholar at Ketterdam University, Lantsov. Royalty, at that. I can't get married to a man who lowers the intelligence of the whole room every time he talks."

Nikolai licks his lips, nodding in amusement. He's clearly enjoying the predicament I'm in. Bastard. Chances are, he'd reject the deal just to see how it plays out, "Watching the boy annoy you to your wit's end would be fun—entertaining, even. I'd throw a ball every two weeks just to see how you’re holding up. Perhaps I could learn from him.”

"Ha-ha. You're predictable, Nikolai."

"But also, I have to say, the idea of you being cross at somebody that isn't me is making me a little jealous." He moves forward, tilting the bottom of my chin with the pad of his finger, “I think I should be the only one to see this little scowl of yours.”

What?

I could feel my breath hitch from his comment. "What do you mean?" I stab a finger at his chest. I’m making a move to get out of the seat, hopefully covering the red coming up on my ears, "Look, if you aren't going to take this seriously, I might as well just lea-”

I'm startled when he grabs at my hand to stop me from moving away from him any further, his thumb smoothing over my wrist, "It means I'm interested, darling. What's in it for me?"

Nikolai gently pushes me back down on my seat, and I do the impossible: I oblige, "I hear Ravka’s coffers are nearly empty, and with everything going on, I know you need the money I’m offering you. What’s inside those coffers won't be able to support the people and those little pet projects you have.”

He scowls at the comment, “Huh.”

"If you accept my offer, I’d be willing to fund you. I mean it, every personal project you need the money for. I earn more than what I need and the exchange rate between kruge and Ravkan money is good.” I bite at the bottom of my lip, smiling as if assured he’d take the deal, “You’re smart as a whip, Nikolai. You’d get more benefit out of this than I would.”

His ears seem to have perked up at my last statement, immediately turning his head to meet with my eyes. His expression is melting into something cocky as if telling me he’d already figured me out. “I’m an ethical person, princess.” He shakes his head, sucking on his teeth, “I don't take offers where I get more than the other, and you don't make offers that put you at a disadvantage.”

I scoff, “Oh, my. Is Nikolai Lantsov willing to put morality over coin? Did coming back to court soften you up?” His eyes are boring straight into my soul at every word I spit out, “You’re a privateer, Nikolai. You took what you could get.”

His tone, however kind and sincere it sounded, was filled with stinging poison, “Correct. Privateers took what they could get, but I am a king now, and kings get whatever they desire.”

I cross my legs, smoothing over the wrinkles on my dress, “What’s your point, Nikolai?”

“You obviously have some sort of plan under this fake relationship proposal, and I’m trying to fish it out of you. There isn't any way you’d let me get so much in exchange for so little.” He kicks the leg of my seat so that I’m forced to face him, “So, it’s either we play this stubborn game of ours a little longer, or you just tell me what it is.”

If there was one thing worth noting about Nikolai, apart from his freakishly good looks and his sunlight hair that just has to be styled to perfection, it was that he was observant with anybody and everybody. He had such a keen eye that by the ripe age of 15, he could tell whenever I was lying or hiding something. The catch is? I don't have a tell. Or at least I think I don’t. I once looked him dead straight in the eyes, stating a lie so coherent it could've easily been the truth, and yet, he flashed me his childish, toothy grin, and pointed out my lie. 

Not even my own sisters or my own governesses knew how to figure me out, and the fact that Nikolai did never failed to get under my skin.

Slightly on edge, I mask my nervousness with a snarky comment, “Can never get anything past you, can’t I?

“So?”

“My papers are based on the theology of the Ravkan saints. The books I need for research are in the Apparat’s possession, as well as a bunch of scrolls from the palace’s restricted library.” I shrug, “Thought I’d have an easier access if I had a direct relation to you and the palace.”

Clearly pleased with my answer, Nikolai lightly taps on my cheek, the gloves’ leather rough against my skin, “That wasn't so hard, no?”

His gloved hands are stuffed back into the pockets of his coat as he walks back to his own seat, and I hope they sweat so bad that they stain through both his ridiculously expensive gloves and his ridiculously expensive coat. Insolent little peacock.

Nikolai is now clearly evaluating the deal I've given him, judging by the furrowed eyebrows and with constant nibbling of his bottom lip. He’s back in his seat from across the table, bouncing his knee ever so slightly. His actions are making me weirdly anxious even though I was confident he’d strike up the deal, and I imagine I've turned blue, vis-à-vis lack of breathing. 

"You’re going to get a deal, but on one condition.” He pauses before his lips curl up into a little Cheshire grin. "You have to say please."

—

Three weeks from now, our first plan would be set in motion. A massive party for the nobilities and the merchants to mingle amongst their pretentious little selves would be held inside the Grand Palace, right in the heart of Ravka. My family, of course, would be invited to see their youngest daughter hanging off the arm of the king. 

Very fortunately, I was allowed by the university to take a month-long vacation to Ravka, where I’d settle into a guest’s chambers every night. This new arrangement would ease the other people in the palace into our very fake relationship, however, it would mean that I’d have to spend every waking hour in his presence. That wasn't something I was looking forward to, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make. However, Nikolai was a king—a tremendously busy one, at that— and it wasn't as if he’d go out of his way to spend time with his pretend girlfriend whom he surely hated: me.

I assume we are in Os Alta from the way my carriage ride goes from rattling to smooth. With this, I packed up the book inside my purse, and opened the carriage curtains to reveal the pinnacle of all gaudy monstrosities Ravkan architecture has birthed, the Grand Palace, and waiting for me in the entrance is Nikolai—

Wait. Huh?

Nikolai?

Why’s he there? 

“You gonna get down from there or you want me to carry you out?” Nikolai is leaning against the frame of the carriage door, “Hi, princess.”

I frown, taking his offered hand as I climb out, “What are you doing here?”

“Might come off as a shock, but I actually live here.” He answers, pure sarcasm seething out of his tongue. His other hand moves from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of snowdrops and native Ravkan flowers, all tied between fine strings of twine, “I sure hope you still like snowdrops.”

I take it from his hand. Given his track record, it wasn't all too surprising that Nikolai knew the basics of making bouquets look coherent and appealing, but he didn’t need to know that. He was plenty good in many other things already, “Not really your talent, is it? Flower arrangements?”

“And acting like a besotted little princess certainly isn't yours.” Nikolai pauses, gesturing to the multiple people around us, “A thank you would suffice.”

I look around, facing the palace servants and a few grisha looking at us with clear intent to figure out why the princess of Novyi Zem was here, and I remember that I was here to be his fake girlfriend, and not to annoy Nikolai into ripping out his hair, 

“Thank you,” I mumble begrudgingly. 

“Thank you… what?” He raises his eyebrows at me, waiting for an endearment.

I try not to throw up in my mouth, “Thank you, solnyshko.” I made a move to walk away into the doors, but I couldn’t get any farther away with Nikolai’s hand gripping on my waist, pulling me right back to him. A small gasp escapes my lips when his hands find their way on the small of my back, tracing circles while my hands are placed flat on his chest to stop myself from crashing into him.

Nikolai lowers his head and presses a kiss on my temple, whispering, “Try not to act so repulsed, princess, disgust doesn’t look that good on you.”

—

It’s been four days and we have not spent a single hour together. Normally, being away from Nikolai was something to be celebrated, but right now, I was his fake girlfriend, and his fake girlfriend did not enjoy the pity stares and gossip she was receiving from the servants and the grisha. Poor, naive princess waiting for the busy king’s attention.

Until now. 

Nikolai has invited me to dine with him and his friends tonight, and he seems excited about this, even doing as much as sending a personalized dress and pieces of emerald jewelry to my room. I find myself arriving earlier than what was said in the card, and Nikolai, ever so punctual, is alone on one of the chairs with a bouquet right next to him. He’s deep in thought and tapping his fingers on the table in a song I’m not very familiar with when I arrive. Nikolai shakes sober when he sees me, eyes scanning everything from my head to my toes, “Hi.”

“Well, hello.” I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes at him, “Finally decided to talk to me, have you?” 

“You’ve been waiting?” He’s grinning wicked, head lazily propped on his hand, “I know you’ve missed me, princess, but you don’t have to make it so obvious. "

Nikolai doesn’t have to stare to notice that today I’m not in the best mood today. 

He earns an eye roll from me when I chuck the bouquet out of his hand, “I miss not being the recipient of all the hot palace gossip, that’s what.” I scrutinize the flowers a little longer, “Good saints, Nikolai, these are wilted. Is this how you treat your lady?”

“Judging by the beautiful gown I had made for her and the jewelry hanging from her neck, I think I treat my lady quite well.” Nikolai gestures to the variety of beverages on the table, “A drink, darling?”

“What are my choices?”

“Yes or no.”

Sighing, I answer, “Whatever you’re having.”

Our conversation is cut short by the doors creaking, entering now are Nikolai’s friends. I’m glad to see familiar faces, namely Zoya and Genya who frequently visit Ketterdam to see me, and apparently some guy who runs the Crow Club downtown. The night is young, and while we eat, Genya makes small talk to entertain the group, “I hear Nikolai’s invited you to stay for the month, leading up to the party. What for?”

Nikolai is quick to answer, “We’re finally making it official to her family.”

Everybody has stopped their movements, either shocked or in the middle of processing the information. Did he not tell them beforehand?

“Official?” Tamar asks.

“We’re dating.”

Genya lifts an eyebrow, inquisitive, “You’ve been packed these last few days, Nikolai. Why didn't you tell us your girl was here? We could have cleared up your schedule!” She turns to me, “I hope he’s been spending enough time with you.”

“Well, he hasn't had the time to talk to me, let alone spend a few moments together.” I answer, plastering an obviously fake smile to get my point across, “But what can we do? Kolya has precious things occupying his day and it’s only unfortunate I’m not included.”

I see from the side of my eye that he’s seething with anger, hiding it under rapid slicing of the knife on his steak. It was only a matter of seconds before he talked, “If you didn't give me a headache every time you opened your mouth, maybe I would have made an effort to actually spend time with you.”

Oh.

I hear gasps from around the table, even from David, who has kept to himself all evening. The utensils dropping on the porcelain plates make screeches and clangs. Zoya is furious, brows furrowed with her tongue biting her cheek and Genya is constantly looking over at me to see how I would react.

I smile. A tight-lipped, tired smile.

Without a second thought, I abruptly get up from my chair. It makes a scandalous little screech that garners the attention of everybody in the room, including Nikolai’s, who is looking at me with a mixed expression of regret and anger.

“I don't wish to make your busy night harder for you, moi tsar. Have a good night, everybody.”

—

It’s deep into the ungodly hours of the night when I hear another knock from my door. I’ve been left to soak up my emotions, namely anger. Exhausted, I think of feigning sleep to let the person realize I wouldn't be getting up soon, but I do the opposite anyway, “A second, please!” I say, slipping on a silk robe. 

When I nudge the door open, it reveals Nikolai. Just great. Perfect.

“Can I come in?”

I decide to indulge in pettiness so I don’t say a word, only gesturing with my head.

He settles on leaning on my vanity table, taking a deep breath before softly letting out, “What’s wrong with you?” Nikolai doesn’t wait for an answer, “How are we supposed to be believable if you act like that when somebody even looks at us?”

“Look at us? They barely see us together, Nikolai.”

“They finally saw us together three hours ago and what did you do?” He works his jaw, “The moment you got an opportunity to talk about our arrangement and convince them we’re real, you tell every person with an ear to lend about how your own partner doesn’t give you the time of day.”   

Nikolai is off my vanity, walking towards me until I’m forced to take slower steps backward. His breathing is ragged and it’s obvious he’s trying his very best to stop whatever anger is boiling in his blood.

“How am I at fault here? The last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who let their partner have no company at all for four days.” I let a finger jab into his shoulder, “Have you heard the gossip, Nikolai? The servants all think I’m some stupid princess who forced her way into the castle for you to start giving me attention, and you’re making it all too real for them.”

“Tell me, then, smart girl. How was I supposed to react when you told them you think it’s unfortunate you weren’t important enough to occupy my day?”

“You were supposed to act your part as the charming king, telling his lady that he’d take time off for her and coddle her up until she was practically melting in his arms. You’re used to swooning people into taking a bullet for you, so what’s not clicking?”

Nikolai doesn’t say or do anything, instead, he walks closer and closer until my back hits the wall next to the door, eyes boring into me as if I’d committed a terrible crime until his expression breaks into something I was so very familiar with. He’s relaxed his jaw to give way to a forced smile like he’s clearly figured out what to do with me. I’m hoping it isn’t murder.

“You want my attention, princess? Fine.” He plants a hand above my head, he smells of brandy and that one ridiculously expensive perfume he likes so much and it’s overwhelming my senses. Has he been drinking? At this hour? How irresponsible. “Oh, you’ll get my attention alright.”

The way he’s towering over me is enough for my voice to catch on my throat, and I don’t say anything until I manage to get a small croak of, “Good.”

I can see his eyes flickering from mine to my lips before he turns away, reaching for the doorknob, “I’ll have handmaidens here by seven in the morning to prepare you.”

“What for?”

Nikolai sneaks a glance back at me, and the faint ghost of a smirk is on his lips, “You wanted attention, didn’t you?”

—

Right on the chime of the morning bell, about 12 handmaidens enter my room, Genya making her way in last. I see them carrying boxes, which I can only assume are dresses, and my suspicions are proven when they lay them out on the table, revealing gorgeous fabrics of various colors and embellishments. “I saw Nikolai make his way to your room late last night. Must’ve done more than just reconcile if you’re still asleep at this time.” she lifts a brow suggestively, poking at my arm.

“Give me a break, Genya. It’s like seven in the morning.” I groan out, trying to block out the light from the windows, “What’s with all the dresses?”

“The king had them made just for you.” Genya drags me by the arm, “Now, get up, because you have to meet with him in exactly two hours, and Nikolai does not like to wait.”

True to her word, Nikolai was waiting in his private dining hall at nine in the morning, “Hi, pretty. I see you’re wearing the dress I sent you.”

I shrug, taking a seat across from him. The scene is dramatically similar to when we made our deal, and I stifle a laugh at how stupid we must look: begrudgingly sitting across from each other with daggers for eyes, “What are you planning, Nikolai?”

“I’ve taken time off from my kingly duties, and I’m planning to coddle my lady until she practically melts in my arms.” He directly quotes me from last night, sending over a mischievous grin, “Since she wanted the attention so bad, today she’ll find her fill of it.”

He certainly wasn’t lying. 

Nikolai’s brought me around the Little Palace, parading me around the most crowded of hallways and courtyards with his hand settled on my waist, squeezing on it ever so lightly when somebody greets us. He tells the trainers he’s in here to overlook how the new training regiment is performing but spends more time planting kisses on my head and fixing my hair than actually looking at his Grishas train. It’s obvious he’s overplaying his role, out of spite or not, but after yesterday, I’m sure I shouldn’t be in any position to complain.

When we are asked to join them for lunch, Nikolai doesn’t hesitate to take them up on their offer, immediately following them onto the dinner hall. Two seats up front are reserved for us, and he pulls my chair closer to his when I sit down, “Princess, how far are you from melting in my arms?”

Near, actually. I’m not the most used to public affection and I’m one forehead kiss away from fainting into the cold, dark earth, but Nikolai didn’t need the satisfaction of knowing he’d put me into such a condition.

“Very far. I feel bad for your future wife if this was your best shot at it.”

He laughs, “You’re damn hard to please, aren’t you? This isn’t enough coddling for you?”

I never liked acknowledging that Nikolai’s smile was pleasant to look at, so I turn away from him when I sip into my glass of kvas, “You did say I was hard to please.”

“Then, I hope this’ll suffice.” 

Nikolai pulls me into him and presses a kiss on my mouth, and all of my senses are focusing on him and him only. I can feel him smiling into it, his fingers splayed out on my waist, and perfume’s scent is rendering me weak in my knees.

I try to shake myself sober from the desire to pull him in, instead placing a hand on his chest to push him away lightly. I can see him shift his gaze from me to the crowd of people who are doing a bad job of trying not to stare at us. His eyes are back on me and he subtly licks at his lips, breathing heavy, “You taste like kvas, princess.”

—

Nikolai was a true romantic, and I hated it with all my whole being. I regret ever complaining about how much he didn't take the deal seriously, because I’d sure take that over trying not to burn red every time he showed me some type of attention. He constantly brings me to dinners where he’d lace his fingers with mine, drawing incoherent letters and shapes on my hand while he had small talk with one of his advisors, pulling me away when he wanted to have an early night and brushing away the stray hair on my face when I was busy scribbling off on my notebook. I’d try my best to not flush red, occasionally hiding away to collect whatever was left of my sanity that chipped away at every forehead kiss he’d give me whenever I fixed his hair or his clothes. Butterflies started to burst into my stomach, and every day I do my best to swat them all dead and remind myself that this was an act and nothing more.

Slowly, the things we were only supposed to show in public turned into things we subconsciously did in private, and that terrified me.

I start to seek refuge inside the libraries Nikolai promised me in the deal, avoiding his presence more often than usual. Focusing on my papers would help sober my mind from constantly thinking of Nikolai’s annoyingly soft kisses and his even more annoyingly pretty smile and possibly even save myself the embarrassment I’d face if he saw me like this. It’s nearing eleven in the evening when I decide to take a small break from writing, cracking my knuckles until my fingers feel somewhat sore. It was also nearing eleven in the evening when I hear a familiar voice calling out my name in a soft sigh, “I haven’t seen you all day.”

Oh no.

“You’re a mess, Nikolai. Look at you.” I lean back to get a good look at him.

He’s dragged a chair opposite mine, settling down on it rather slouched. Nikolai’s tousled mess of hair is juxtaposed by his pressed, kingly clothing, and my body betrays me when I reach out to him, running my hand over his hair to push it back from his forehead. My actions have surprised us both, and I try to salvage the silence with the clearing of my throat, “What brings you here?”

“You, clearly.” He answers nonchalantly, “Since when do you hide out in a dusty library for hours?”

I take a second to answer and I raise my eyebrow, giving him an amused smile, “Don’t tell me you’ve missed me, Nikolai.”

There’s a glint in his eyes, “And what if I did?”

“Then, you’d be a liar.”

Nikolai takes it upon himself to stand and loom over my chair, anchoring himself on an arm pressed on the back of my seat, “Oh, milaya moya, I’m many things, but I’m certainly not a liar.” He leans down further, and I’m reminded of the reason I hide in the eerie library aisles. My breath hitches when he speaks again, “And stop flattering yourself. We have fittings in three days for the party.”

—

The fittings took quite a bit of time, and by the last day, Nikolai and I were invited to try on what we were made to wear for the ball. Both of our clothes are pulled in on a mannequin, and we are equally in awe of what they made in a few days’ time. Nikolai’s presented with a gold and blue court tunic with delicate embroidery and a sash. My off-shoulder gown resembles Nikolai’s tunic colors, black embroidery extending under my black corset. My corset is the last thing to fix in my perfect-fitting dress, and it’s impossible to do alone. I try my best to do whatever feels right, and I know it’s taking me a long time when Nikolai shouts out from the outside, “Princess? What’s taking you so long?”

“It’s my corset.” I mumble, rolling my shoulders, “Unless you’re here to help, I suggest giving me a minute or two.”

He knocks, “Come here. I’ll tie it up.”

I push the heavy doors apart with some struggle, and Nikolai is staring, rather wide-eyed when he sees me. His arms are crossed when he walks over, nodding in satisfaction, “You look beautiful in Lantsov colors.”

I turn around to let him grab at the lace of my corset, “I look beautiful in anything.” 

“Of course.” He works his way from the top laces. 

I understand I underestimated the proximity this puts us in when I feel his breathing on my neck when he moves his fingers around the laces, splaying his fingers on the small of my back. I groan when he suddenly tightens it, “Too tight?” He asks. It takes him a few minutes to figure it out, and when he finally does, he lays his hands on the smooth surface of the corset on my waist for a few minutes, “The gold brings out the spite in your eyes.”

“Charming.” 

—

Today, I’ve woken up earlier than usual to prepare for the ball everyone’s anticipating. I’m sitting on my vanity when handmaidens enter my room, with them the gown from yesterday in tow. Upon laying my eyes on the corset, I remember Nikolai’s hand on my waist and I try to pull myself away from the thoughts in my head. I couldn’t afford to think these things, not when I’m supposed to spend hours of him doting on me for show. It would be too dangerous of a game, and I wasn’t exactly the person to dabble in risks. Counting down is the only thing I can do to keep my nerves in check, and it doesn’t provide much help when my heart starts to pound in my ear a few minutes before Nikolai knocks on my door to fetch me.

We are a hallway away from the venue when he stops, reaching for my hand. There’s a gold-band ring on his thumb with an uncut emerald, and he’s carrying an identical one on his other hand, “Just so they know.” And with that, he slips it on my thumb and drags me inside.

I’m quite pleased about how well the party is going. People are fooled by our show, and they’ve been tirelessly asking about our matching clothes and jewelry, intrigued about how this relationship between the youngest Zemeni princess and the Ravkan king bloomed, and I do my job well, gushing about it like it wasn’t just an act we put on.

 I’ve also come to introduce Nikolai to my family, who are all gasping and clutching their pearls, “Is this why you haven’t sent letters this past month? You’ve been spending all your time here in Os Alta!” My mother says in fast Zemini, “And with little Nikolai too, no less.”

“I can assure your daughter’s been enjoying yourself, Your Highness.” He answers her in perfect Zemeni, flashing a charming smile before he bows, “She’s finding solace in one of our many libraries.”

“We never thought you two would come to terms with your feelings. Especially with our little girl here, who was practically glowing red when you two entered the room.” My mother pokes at my arm, “Sweet girl. What has he been doing to you to have you all shy?”

I stutter out an answer, and when no words escape my mouth, I pull Nikolai away from my parents.

“Shy, princess? Did I hear that right?” He laughs, letting himself be dragged off.

“No.” I pant. Nikolai wasn’t exactly a feather, “Now, go. Fool more people.”

“Alright, alright. No need to get pushy.”

Nikolai must’ve been fooling a whole nation because it’s been a good hour since I’ve seen him. I’m growing tired, so I decide to find drinks to sustain me for at least a few more hours. There, I see the boy I’ve been looking for, and… with another princess, too. He’s standing over a glass of brandy with her, and it seems like he’s enjoying his time. I could feel an ugly boiling of emotion at the bottom of my stomach, and my face contorts into something of obvious disgust.

Oh no. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. I wasn’t feeling this way. Not for him, no.

Nikolai sees me and he excuses himself promptly from the princess, who I’ve identified now as the Shu princess. “Hi, pretty.” He lifts my knuckles up to his lips, “Is there anything you need?”

“You,” I jab a finger at him subtly, holding him at the arm, “are coming with me.”

When we arrive at a secluded room, I push him against the door. “Bold, aren’t we?” He says.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? What are my parents gonna think if they see you chatting up the Shu princess who is clearly interested in you?” I hold him by the collar, “I know you aren’t the most delighted to be seen with me, but save me the shame, Nikolai.”

Nikolai is peering down on me, reading the expression plastered on my face, and his expression of confusion is melting into something of a knowing little smile, “Are you jealous?”

“Obviously not!” I chew at my bottom lip, crossing my arms defensively after such an accusation.

“Stop lying to me. I can tell when you are and you know that.” Nikolai shakes his head, taking me by the waist so that I’m the one against the door, “You think you don’t have a tell, but you do, and I’m rather elated I’m the only one that knows what it is because that means,” He says slowly, tone enticing, “I’m the only one that’s so constantly looking at your lips.”

I look up at him and glare, eyebrows furrowed, “So what if I were jealous? It’s not like it would matter, wouldn’t it? This is just an act we put on for both of our benefits.”

“You’re a stubborn girl, aren’t you?” Nikolai sighs, dragging his hand lower on the door, “I look at you like you hung the stars, the moon, and every celestial body in the night sky, and you’re telling me you think I’m just putting on an act? Good saints, princess, they told me you were smart.”

“You… were flirting with her.” 

“And I kissed you in front of the whole Little Palace.” He lowers himself down to meet with my eyes, “I wasn’t flirting with her. She was, but not me.” He cocks his head to the side, grinning, “Why don’t we save ourselves the embarrassment of admitting to everybody this was all fake, and allow me to actually take you on a proper date?”

“I suppose that would be fine.” I turn my head to the side, unable to retain eye contact. His hand is tilting my face back at him, “Oh, no, no. We’re well past the point of being shy, I think.”

“You are impossible.” I try to muster a poisonous voice but my eyes betray me when it flickers between his eyes and his lips. Saints, his pretty lips, and his pretty smile. I hate him for what he’s doing to me, and yet somehow I’d hate it even more if he were doing this with anybody else. 

I don’t have to look at him to know he’s reading me, figuring me out like I’m his favorite puzzle. “Far from that.” Nikolai presses a soft kiss on my mouth. I return it almost immediately, pulling him in by the hem of his tunic. Nikolai runs his tongue on my bottom lip before he pulls away, leaning in to get another on my jaw, “I’m improbable, princess.”

[eg515]

A TV Show Update Nobody Asked For

okay, so with only two months left of this year, I thought I'd make a list of where I am with my current tv shows and what I have planned for the rest of the year. this is mostly for me, to help me keep track, but I also accept recommendations. not including the shows I watch weekly.

Revenge: I've been on this rewatch waaaay too long, but only 12 episodes are left. I fully plan on finishing it this year, hopefully even this month. it was fun to rewatch it.

Elementary: I've been stuck on early s2 of my rewatch for way too long, longer than Revenge. I can't help it, I never liked Mycroft. I plan on watching it, but I'll probably restart it. s1 is my favourite anyway. but it probably won't happen this year.

Being Human: I've been stuck on s2 for a long time, but it just got so boring. the whole thing with the vampires restructuring their hierarchy, Annie appearing and disappearing to humans all the time, and George's werewolf girlfriend whose name I can't remember, these were all storylines I didn't like and watching the show became hard. I might continue at some point, but it won't happen this year.

911 Lone Star: I'm planning a full rewatch before s3 starts in January. right now the plan is December. the exact time will depend on my schedule.

911: I want to rewatch this too, but I might wait until either the mid-season break or until after s5.

Ted Lasso: it's been on my watchlist for a while, and I will definitely watch it sometime during the next two months.

The Librarians: it's been on my watchlist for YEARS. so many years. it's definitely my next big watch. I expect it to go the same way as Leverage: it will take me a long time to start, but once I do, I won't stop.

Nikita: it's been on my watchlist for years too. I keep seeing more and more of it on my dash, so this one depends on when I will get to the point where my bi ass can't take it anymore and I give in

Succession: new item on my watchlist. I keep seeing a lot of gifs, I'll probably start it at some point.

Berlin Station: s1 done, two seasons left. but s1 was quite heavy, so I'll need to be in the right headspace. I expect I can watch s2 this year, s3 probably early next year.

Money Heist: after a long time, I finished s1 and 2 this year and started s3. s3 is unexpectedly boring though, and I stopped after a few episodes. I currently don't have any plans to watch it, I abandoned it, but mom plans on watching it, I might watch it with her.

Teen Wolf: I've been thinking about rewatching it all year, so it's only a matter of time before I say "fuck it" and binge all 6 seasons.

The Romeo Section: it's a new find, I'll start it as soon as it fully downloads.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: I've been meaning to watch it for a while. it's only a matter of finding it in good quality.

Imposters: definitely rewatching in the near future. I miss my idiots.

Liar: I should finish s2, but I would need to rewatch s1 too. probably won't do it this year though, but Q1 next year is likely.

LA's Finest: I plan to rewatch next year.

Mindhunter: I started once, got halfway through ep one, had to stop, never restarted again. idk, I'm losing interest, but if anyone recommends it, I might watch it.

Mr Robot: I started it like... three times? never got past s2. maybe this time I will?

Pushing Daisies: I've wanted to watch this for so long, ever since I saw it on tv. I have it downloaded and ready to watch, I just need one final push.

You Me Her: I've had it downloaded for over a year, but probably won't watch it until next year.

Sense8: definitely rewatching, but probably only next year.

Leverage/Leverage: Redemption: rewatching next year for sure.

okay, this a very long list 😂 oh well.

still taking recommendations though 😂😂

[faythelyse]

Joji x Reader {female reader} Apocalyptic Setting <Part One>

The sound of your closest friends baby jolts you awake. You had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair near the window. You stand and stretch for a moment before walking into the kitchen. Jessica meets you at the doorway to the kitchen.

"We're officially out of food." She bounces her daughter on her knee.

"Alright, I'll grab Ashlee and we can hit that up this place we noticed coming back from our last haul. It looked like a department store or something. I have an extra cheese stick in my bag if Jade is hungry."

Jessica knods and sighs. You knew saving that cheese stick was a good call. After grabbing the snack for Jade you head to the garage where Ashlee was working on the truck we scored a few months ago. Ashlee notices you enter and slams her hand on the top. "We still need some gas for this bad boy!"

"No time like the present to go look for some?!" You add expecting a negative response.

Ashlees face turned sour. "We're out of food."

"Yep. You going."

"Well of course, but we just went on a trip 3 days ago. Those rations were supposed to last a week. Jess eats like a fucking pig." Ashlee starts throwing her gloves off onto the desk and prepares a bag for the emergency food trip we are underprepared for in all honesty.

"How much ammo do we have left?"

Ashlee sighs heavily "We were low last trip. We might have 5 or 6 shells left for the shotgun."

"And the handgun?" You interject.

"Fifteen." Ashlee finishes packing up leaving the shotgun for me to take. "I'm gonna take a smoke break. Meet me out front when your ready to roll." She puts the cigarette in her mouth and walks out.

Grabbing the gun you quickly head for your room to gather the essentials. Outside Ashlee was taking the last drag off her cigarette before flicking it to the road. I stare at the bikes in front of us wishing we had gas for the truck. "Jesus christ I hate these bikes, I'm wore out by the time we get to wherever we're going." Ashlee smiles. "Soon Y/N" Ashlee closes her eyes and daydreams for a moment. Imagining life with a car again.

About halfway there we stop and scout a bit. Make sure no one is out and about before we pull closer into this town.

Right on the edge of town we leave our bikes locked to a tree behind a small abandoned house. It was a soft pink color. It somewhat stood out making it easier to remember where we left our things. We chat quietly while making our way to a large department store.

The store was huge. The sign had fallen partially. A corner of the building was also caving in. Jessica, never going out on many supply trips didn't always realize the danger she put Ashlee and I in on a somewhat regular basis. Although we have become better at it over time.

As we arrived at the doors we became silent. Searching for any possible noises or animals that could get us in worse trouble than we were already putting ourselves in. Instead of going in through the front we found a side door that appeared quieter to open. Upon entering we were stunned to see lots of stuff still on the shelves. Why had this store not been hit so badly by looters. Shocked by the nostalgia and childlike joy we let our gaurd down. We casually walked down aisles and shared past memories that seemed insignificant then. We would give anything to be able to visit a store normally again. Buy a new dress to wear for date night or some shit.

"Holy shit, they have mother fucking WINE!!!"

Ashlee was almost in tears, and I couldn't contain my smile. We packed as many as we could. We still needed room for actual food.

Just then we both heard a single gunshot so we dropped immediately to the floor as quickly as possible. Readying our guns we slowly get up and sneak closer to the back of the store where the gun had fired. There is a hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and what I assume might be the head office or the workers lounge area. We see a shadow at first emerging from the hallway. We aim thinking it could be one of the infected, but it was just a man. He pulled out a walkie telling someone on the other end he's fine. Ashlee and I are frozen for a minute. We hadn't seen people in a long time. Hell it's even been awhile since we've seen an infected. They have been sparce lately. Probably just spreading out more. Although we weren't a very populated area anyway. Ashlee whispers "What do we do, ignore them?" I shrug not knowing myself. It would be risky to assume they are friendly. And if they were to rob us we would be left with nothing. Another man runs up, he has a large backpack on. Ashlee and I locked eyes for a moment. We had the same idea to potentially rob this man. I shake my head. "Maybe they will trade?" I whisper.

Ashlee shakes her head in disbelief that they would consider trading. We had not glanced back at the men for a minute, when we turned back to check on them they were gone. I turn back and shrug, if they were gone then we had no further issue. Ashlee and I nod knowing we should get a move on and wrap this up before we get spotted. While crouching we slowly walk around the nearest aisle where we are met face to face with the two men we had just spotted. Both shocked we all immediately stand, but none of us draw a weapon. After a solid 30 seconds of no speaking just staring I speak up

" We really just need to grab some food, we won't be any trouble." It was then that I noticed one of them was injured.

"You're hurt?" I said softly. Ashlee also softened her expression when she noticed the wound. Ashlee broke her silence as well, "Y/N is a healer of sorts, maybe we can help."

Ashlee and I are both suckers for wanting to help. The man with big sad brown eyes looked at me with some hope.

"Can you really hel-ehp" he stopped abruptly and grabbed the wound on his side that started to soak through his thick green coat. I couldn't tell the severity of it, I didn't want him to die though, so in the moment I just decided to say yes. His friend went alongside him to help support him. "My name is Ben" He proceeded to shake Ashlees hand and then my own. "This is George, nice to meet you. We were here looking for medical supplies, if you could help us out we would pay you back some how. Whatever you need, I promise. We'll work it off."

"I'm not a real doctor or anything man. I just started learning this stuff since the world went to shit. I've practiced on dogs, and cats, a few humans. Nothing too crazy. I've become pretty decent at sew up jobs. I just promise to do my best to help. If something goes wrong I just cant have you blaming me."

Ben smiled "Listen, its not like im going to find some heart surgeon out here. Anything you can do to help is better than whatever I could come up with."

Ashlee walks up to the other side of George and throws his arm over her neck. "I'll help walk him to the bikes."

I nod and quickly grab everything i can that is edible, even found a few seed packets. Elena will be stoked to add these to her garden.

We biked back to our little community that cosisted of 2 houses that have been conjoined by fencing in the two. Its somewhat protected by being hidden in the many trees that surround our community.

Jessica was sitting smoking outside. As she saw us pull up with two strangers she looked worried. I held up my hand to show her everything was okay and waved. We brought George in and laid him in a spare room we had set up for me to work on anyone who had been hurt. There was no bed, only a futon mattress had been laid on the floor.

"Set him down gently." Ben whispered.

Ashlee had a worried expression, I could tell she was worried about the blood loss. He appeared paler than before. I sat down and started preparing my equipment as fast as possible and urged Ashlee to grab some other things I needed.

As I neared being finished with sterilizing the needle I told everyone to leave the room. I can never concentrate while people watch. I had assumed George was knocked out when I reached down to start removing his jacket he grabbed my wrist.

"This is going to fucking hurt isn't it." He breathed. I nodded. I had nothing to numb him. Then I remembered the extra wine Ashlee and I had discovered. We had grabbed six bottles. I pulled out a bottle and handed it to George. He glanced it over.

"For the pain?"

"For the pain." I said as took it back from him to open it. After opening I asked if he would like a cup.

"Bottles fine, lets get this over with." He started to shrug off his jacket exposing the large gash on his side. Hopefully he hadn't punctured an organ or something I couldn't fix.

He took 3 large drinks and motioned for me to come to him. I started cleaning the wound to the best of my ability with what we had. It was time to start sewing. Sewing still makes me nervous.

I was ready to pierce skin when he interrupted.

"Do you have anything to bite on?"

I took the belt that was around my waist wrapped it up and handed it to him. He bit down and nodded to show he was ready.

I started and his eyes rolled back into his head, I kept going. I wanted this to be over as fast as possible. He started making a few small shrieks here and there but he was toughing it out rather well I thought.

As I was getting to the last few stitches his hand found my leg and grabbed it tightly. I felt horrible for causing him so much pain.

I started to just mumble I'm sorry over and over again until I had finally finished. His head fell back onto the pillow in exhaustion and agony. I leaned up and pressed my hand to his forehead and face and apologized some more. Trying to gauge how well he was actually doing. I stopped myself and realized I needed to finish by covering it with a bandage. I grabbed clean cloth from the cabinet and bandaged him. I look at him for a moment. I should grab his friend and let him know I've finished. He probably wants to wait with him until he wakes up. As I struggle to stand back up George's hand grabs mine and squeezes. I squeeze back giving him reasurrence, and leave to confront everyone.

Ben steps up to me immediately as i exit the room.

"What's the damage, is he cool? Are we good?"

I could tell he was nervous about the answer.

"I'm not sure yet honestly, he's all stiched up. He's also still alive and lucid which is a good sign. It's going to take a long time to heal. Maybe a month or two. It also needs to stay clean and free of infection. I recommend staying here until he's fully healed. Ben seemed pleased with my answers "Can I go see him now?" I nodded and he rushed in.

Ashlee pulled me to the side. "You reccomend they stay for two months?"

"Yes, that was my recommendation. He was hurt prerty bad, he shouldn't be moving at all for atleast 3 weeks. I think we should just chill. As long as he heals well, we could use their help."

Ashlee crosses her arms. "This is risky, but Im with you. It's nice to have new faces around."

"I agree" I smile, feeling slightly better that I may have saved someone's life.