#hopefully I can finish before bed tonight because I have work BOO

[ivymarquis]

Im like a scene and a half away from finishing this soap fic yeeeeee

[fanfic-scribbles]

Crash Pad

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: You’re just minding your own business when the Winter Soldier crashes into your life. Literally.

Quick facts: Romance – established past Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes leading into Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Fluff, slight mention of blood

Words: 7801

A/N: I started writing this a few months ago and almost finished when my life got fairly shook up. Still, I’m quite proud of being able to eke out an ending. For anybody who only cares about this story, feel free to skip this note, but for anybody following my other stuff: writing is going to be slow for the time being. My mom died and things are pretty topsy-turvy right now. Writing is still a comfort, but head to hands isn’t working the same right now. Thanks for your patience; I hope this is a pleasant read for you in the mean time <3

  ~

 You’re getting ready for bed and have just turned off the living room light when you hear a clatter on the fire escape. You haven’t gotten over to shut the window yet and you wince at the thought of maybe coming face to face with a giant rat, or a raccoon, although you haven’t yet seen a raccoon and you’re pretty sure they don’t live in the city but it would probably be better than a rat the size of a raccoon–

What you get is much, much worse as a fully grown man falls through the curtains, knocks over a side table and potted plant, and crashes onto your living room floor with a wheezed (but emphatic), “God damn it!”

You freeze, unsure of whether to run or yell or maybe both. However the man flounders on the floor, unable to otherwise move much as he holds his side and– is that blood on your floor?

“Are you okay?” you ask despite everything.

He yanks his head back to look at you and grimaces. “Fuck, I–” He tries to get up, slips in what you are almost positive is blood, and slumps over with a little sigh and a handful of muttered curses that might be in another language. “I am really sorry about this,” he says lowly, like he's embarrassed to be bleeding out in a stranger’s living room. Then he shifts a little more and moonlight gleams on his arm. His very…shiny…completely metal arm, and you find a whole new way to be concerned.

You should have known the reasonable rent was a goddamn trap.

You take a few steps back, barely avoid hitting the counter, and flick the light back on without taking your eyes away from the man on your floor. He squints at the brightness and shows you a face that is, both fortunately and unfortunately, familiar. Fortunately because Captain America and the Avengers somehow got him pardoned for potential war crimes and treason even without him being present for any of that circus of a trial. Unfortunately because…war crimes. And treason. And that is definitely blood.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out and looks a little woozy. “There were sheets– I thought the building was empty.”

“The sheeting is for the building right next to us,” you say and sigh. “I’m going to guess you are not in favor of me calling an ambulance?”

He just blinks at you a few times. Maybe he is secretly a raccoon.

“Please don’t,” he says, some life returning to his eyes, and he looks you up and down. The rubber duck pajamas must put him at ease because, while he is still tensely holding his midsection, his shoulders relax a little. “I’m so–”

“Sorry, yes, I know.” You point at the bathroom. “I’m going to get the first aid kit and hopefully I won’t have to explain to the coroner’s office why Captain America’s boo bled out on my floor.”

You’re just opening up the cupboard that hopefully contains at least some band-aids when he calls out, “What the hell is a ‘boo?’”

~

Two old t-shirts, one and a half rolls of dusty gauze, and his own homemade stitch kit later, the man is finally all patched up. “How are you not passing out from blood loss?” you ask, eyeing the mess on the nice hardwood that has definitely just lost you your deposit. But there’s no corpse to deal with, so at least things aren’t as bad as they could be.

“I’m built pretty hardy.” He sits up a little more and groans. Before you can beg him not to split his side again, he extends his hand. “James Barnes. But you can call me Bucky.”

You shake his hand (gently) and tell him your name. “Do you let everybody call you Bucky, or just the people whose floor you bleed all over?” Something moving catches your eye and you sigh at the sight of your inexpensive (but still nice) curtains blowing slightly, showing off their new stains. “Floor and drapes…”

“I’ll clean it,” he says. “I can get blood out of anything.” He winces. “I…that sounds worse than it is.”

“I imagine getting blood out of anything is a good skill for an international spy-assassin to have,” you say.

Bucky scowls. And, you think, blushes a little, though how he has enough blood to do that you don’t know. You look at the spot again. It looks big to you but maybe you’re making a fuss over nothing. No, wait, there’s still dried blood on your floor. You’re allowed a fuss. “So you know who I am.”

“Your boy made it hard to miss,” you say.

He grumbles to himself, then says, “He’s always such a drama queen. I didn’t need to be pardoned.”

“Really,” you say and look at the bloodied handkerchief wrapped around a bullet he dug out of himself. “Looks like at least one other person disagrees with you.”

“This was Steve’s fight, not mine.” He huffs. “Story of my goddamn lif–”

He suddenly falls back and you reach out instinctively to catch him. He recovers quickly, wild-eyed and stiff and you scoot back just in case. He takes a few deep breaths and seems to force himself calm. It doesn’t look very effective and you’re honestly starting to worry. “You really–”

“I did not faint,” he snaps and maybe he has more blood than you thought, or maybe absolutely all of it has come to collect in his face.

“I was going to say you really need a hospital,” you say. “But yeah, you did.”

He grumbles under his breath and then, as if predicting your protests, stands up quickly enough to waver. Serves him right, you think, but when he scowls at you, you wonder if maybe he’s psychic too. “Try not to pass out on your way home,” you say, because if he wants to leave there’s really nothing you can do to stop him.

“Funny,” he says. He clears his throat and adds, much more sincerely, “Thanks.”

For the t-shirts, for the first aid kit, for not calling the cops, for not calling the Avengers so Captain America can hone in on him like a cartoon hound, for not bitching about the floor too much– the list is many and varied and so you give him a simple nod and hope you can get even a little bit of sleep tonight because work tomorrow is going to be hell without it.

He goes back to the window and before you can point out you have a perfectly good door, Bucky slips out onto the fire escape again. You shrug to yourself and go over to firmly flip the lock. You’ve done your part– in the event he slips and hits his head, someone else can be the good Samaritan. You’re going to bed and tomorrow this is going to feel like a weird dream, if there is even a single good deity in existence.

~

You’re not sure if it’s proof of or a mark against the existence of said single good deity when Bucky shows back up in your fire escape the next evening and taps politely against your open window before he lets himself back in, scooting your new plant just an inch out of the way.

“I have a door,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth.

“Your hallway’s too well lit,” he says, much more hale and hearty and obviously not suffering major blood loss. His hair even looks like he just got out of the shower, all soft and shiny and bouncing a bit as he twists his upper body to start pulling stuff out of a backpack hanging off one shoulder. “I got stuff to clean the floor, and a replacement first aid kit. You outta keep it better stocked, so I got you one of the good ones.”

“O…kay,” you say, for lack of anything better. There’s a hysterical laugh building up in the back of your throat as the Winter Soldier brings out some rags and a cleaning solution for your bloodstained hardwood floor, but you cough it out and say, “Thanks,” when the formerly-feared international assassin looks at you like you’re crazy before he gets on his hands and knees and starts scrubbing.

It’s not fair no one would believe you. You’re not quite sure this isn’t an elaborate daydream, but then, you like to think you’d imagine something more fun than this. You clear your throat. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No thanks,” he grunts, glaring at the floor and rubbing at the stain like it has offended him personally. It’s a little worrisome when he goes at it hard enough to maybe rub a hole right through the floor– you’d rather deal with the stain– but there’s a hard edge to his eyes that make you think maybe it’s a good idea for him to work it out in a productive, non-violent way. And if it turns violent, hopefully he has some home repair skills to make up for it.

You busy yourself with making tea, using the nice pot and the nice cups you never get to break out, and by the time it’s almost done steeping Bucky isn’t rubbing quite so hard and, in fact, seems to have made the stain do a disappearing act.

“Nice,” you say. “You want some tea? I made plenty.”

He lifts his head and tilts it as he squints at you, like he’s still not sure of you. But he shrugs, says, “Sure,” and stands up, rolling his shoulders. He looks down at the floor and nods appreciatively before coming to sit on the other side of the counter. “It’s almost gone; just a little bit more and it’ll be like I was never here.”

That last part could have been a decent joke, but he said it so seriously you just clear your throat. “Thanks,” you say and start pouring. “My landlord is going to have to find some other excuse to try and keep my security deposit.”

Bucky snorts but otherwise makes no noise. At first it’s nice, if a bit awkward, as you don’t really feel the need to fill the silence, but it becomes clear by the way Bucky glares at the plant sitting in front of him on the counter that something is eating at him. You’re not sure whether or not to pry, but it seems polite to at least ask, “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he grunts and leans even lower to the surface of the counter.

You stare at him. “I appreciate what you did, but you didn’t have to come back,” you say gently, because a pissed-off former-assassin isn’t really a problem you want to have on your hands. “I’m not awful enough to actually expect you to clean up your own blood the day after you nearly bled to death.”

“What?” He blinks and then scowls and shakes his head. “No, it’s not that; it’s…” He picks up his cup and downs all of it, despite the fact that it was still steaming. Tentatively you pour him another cup, to which he says, “thanks,” before loading it with sugar again. “It’s good,” he says and this time he sips it.

“It’s one of my favorites. Very soothing,” you say. “Normally.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “I wish anything was soothing. You know Steve almost ran into a goddamn minefield today?”

You didn’t know that, you don’t think anything the Avengers do is any of your business, really, and where does one even find a minefield in New York City– you don’t say any of that, but you apparently don’t need to, because Bucky is off like a shot saying more words than you’d have thought possible for him. All of it is ranting about what a reckless dumbass Captain America is, and a Brooklyn accent increasingly comes through, egged into existence by sheer aggravation. You sit and listen, transfixed not so much by the details (they’re too fleeting and sparse) but by how annoyed Bucky is with Captain Amer- with “Steve goddamn pain in the ass Rogers” and you’re never going to be able to see him again without snickering.

Bucky sighs heavily and rests his chin on the table. He looks very tired, all of a sudden. Maybe a relaxing tea and enthusiastic rant wasn’t the best combination. Then again, he also looks less tense, so perhaps it’s fine. “Why don’t you stop for the night and go get some sleep,” you say and take away his cup. “You can finish up tomorrow.”

He squints at you, squints back at the floor (that you honestly can’t tell is any different from the rest), and looks back at you. “You don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” you say and stack the cups. “When you come back refreshed you can tell me why Steve Rogers can never walk past that animal shelter without ducking his head in shame.”

Bucky’s smile is lopsided and he shakes his head. “Maybe,” he admits and hops off the chair. “I’ll just…leave the stuff here then, if that’s okay?”

You nod and he quickly picks up and puts the supplies in the empty bottom space of your side table. He goes for the window.

“I have a-!”

And he’s gone. You roll your eyes. If Steve Rogers really is as much of an asshole as Bucky says he is, then those two deserve each other.

~

For all that the Captain America mythos has been debunked for you, you’re still brought up short when you suddenly encounter Steve Rogers the next night.

On your fire escape.

He knocks his head against the railing in his scramble to simultaneously get up and face you, curses, and lifts his hands defensively. “I can explain.”

You rub your face with both hands. They definitely deserve each other. “I doubt that,” you mutter and sigh heavily. Thank goodness there haven’t been any actual fires; you don’t know how you’d get out with all these buff superheroes hanging around outside your window. “Have you lost something?”

Captain America looks at the ground for a moment, and then flashes you a smile. “…Yes?”

God, he is a smartass. “Do you want to come inside or do you want to risk some Nosy Nancy from the building across the street seeing a big shadow and calling the cops?”

That would never happen, but he slips inside almost immediately and then there he is, in all his uniformed, shield-holding glory. It’s too weird to think about, and you step back to give him (and you) space while you close the curtains. “Thank you,” he says politely and looks around. “Your apartment is lovely; it’s very…green.”

You’re not sure why he hesitates, until you see him looking at your yellowing majesty palm. “He’s coming back,” you say and go to adjust the plant for lack of anything else your nervous hands can do. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No thank you,” he says and stands with his feet shoulder wide and his hands clasped down in front of him. It is perhaps the least comforting thing he can do and for one ridiculous moment you wish Bucky was here to be in between you. You wish the Winter Soldier was here. To protect you. From Captain America.

You clear your throat. “So,” you say and grab yourself something. “Do you lurk outside everyone’s apartment at some point, or am I just special?”

For all his military posturing, Captain America squirms like a schoolboy. “I swear I wasn’t– okay, I guess I was but not intentionally? I was…looking. For something.”

“Something you dropped?” you ask him.

“A person,” he says, staring elsewhere. For a moment you have a paranoid thought he’s staring at the space where Bucky had fallen in that night, but no, he’s just looking at the window. At least you remembered to change the curtains.

“Pretty sure you can see one of those without squinting into the grates,” you say.

“He might have passed through on his way somewhere else,” Captain America says. “Have you seen a man outside?”

“Other than you?” you ask. He blushes even harder than Bucky does– and think of the devil, you have a moment where you’re not sure what you should say, but quickly come to realize that whatever is going on between the two of them, you do not want to get stuck in the middle.

You’re prepared to lie your ass off, but he apparently takes your response as a rebuke. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make you feel unsafe.”

“It’s fine,” you say. Despite his previous answer, you lean into the fridge to get him a bottle of water. “I’m pretty sure Captain America isn’t going to murder me. And if you decided you wanted to, well, there’s nothing I could really do about it.”

He chokes on the drink he’s just taken. You instinctively lean in so you can slam his back but after a couple of hits he covers his mouth and waves you off. “Sorry, sorry,” he says and grabs a nearby dishcloth to wipe up what he just spit on the counter. “That was just…really dark.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m not the one lurking on fire escapes,” you say.

He rolls his eyes. The nerve. You laugh and he actually grins. Asshole. His smile softens though and he says, “I’m really–”

“Sorry,” you finish for him.

“Am I that predictable already?”

You shrug. You want to tell him it’s because he and Bucky seem very much alike in that respect. You want to but…you don’t. Whatever Bucky’s problem is, he seems to want to deal with it himself, and it’s not your place to get in between them and start snitching. “You seem the type. Don’t worry about it so much. You…look pretty worried. I’m not going to hold it against you.”

“Thank you.” His lips turn into a sad sort-of smile and he takes a slower drink. “I guess I am pretty worried. This man I’m looking for, he’s…important to me, and he’s been through a lot, and I just want to know he’s okay.”

You stare at him. He looks down. And looks down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to babble like that,” he says and glances at you with a strained smile. “I don’t normally do that.”

“Hm.” You stare at him for several seconds and notice he is blinking an awful lot. “You look exhausted.”

“I’m a little tired,” he says, quietly, and some of the posturing seeps out of him and he lets himself slump a little more. He suddenly shakes his head and sits up straight again. “Thanks again for…” He looks around and settles for shaking his water bottle.

You hold back a laugh. “Sure. I uh…do you need me to call you a cab?”

He shakes his head firmly and, to his credit, he’s pretty excellent at pretending to be okay. You almost believe him. “I can get home all right.”

“Well, please make sure you do. I can think of a lot of people who’d be sad to think of you collapsing on the way home because you wore yourself down to the bone,” you say. “And from how you seem to worry about your friend, I bet you can think of at least one.”

He blinks, like he’s surprised, but a smile curls onto his face, warm and true. “Good night,” he says, and because you’re so nice, you don’t stop him when he goes back out the window. At this point, it’s beginning to feel like a lost cause.

~

“What did you say to him?”

“I know you don’t like the door,” you say, not even turning away from the plant you’re watering. Any time you put down the canister you forget where you left off and you are not going to kill these plants by overwatering. Not again. “But maybe you could at least tap on the window when you decide you’re going to enter my apartment.”

“Why do you leave your window open?” Bucky huffs. You can hear him sit at the counter behind you. “You know what kind of creeps can take advantage of that?”

You finish watering the last plant and turn to stare at him. “I’m starting to get an idea.”

Bucky scowls. “I’m not a creep,” he mutters.

“Polite society encourages doorways instead of windows,” you say. “It’s okay. Captain America, apparently, is also a creep.”

Bucky sits up straighter. “What did he say?”

“Not much,” you say. “He was squatting on the fire escape like he could make you spontaneously materialize. I invited him in for an explanation and after a little while he went on his way.”

“After a little while,” Bucky repeats and squints at you suspiciously.

You shrug. “He likes to vent to complete strangers, apparently. But I didn’t tell him anything about you, it doesn’t seem fair to tell you anything about him. If you want to know, I get the feeling you can go ask him.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but he stands up and stretches. “You said I bled on the drapes?”

“I already scrubbed that out, if you can finish the floor,” you say and go for the tea pot. “Do you like green tea?”

“As long as you do it right,” he says and starts scrubbing again. “I hate it all bitter.”

You go for the good matcha and start preparing it while he works out his frustrations on your floor. You glance at him a couple of times but he seems fully focused on his task, until you finish the tea and call him back to the bar.

“Steve Rogers is a pain in the ass and don’t let anyone tell you different,” he grumbles, but it’s soft and there’s a troubled look on his face as he takes his cup.

“Do you miss him?” you ask and blow gently across your drink.

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. Just as you're about to apologize for overstepping, though, he speaks. “It’s hard to go back when you’ve done the shit I have, you know?”

No. You have absolutely no idea what it’s like to live as a free man after decades of literal objectification and being used as a murder weapon for fascists. But it doesn’t seem very helpful to say that, so instead you say, gently, “I can’t even imagine.”

Bucky bobs his head and takes another sip of his drink. You’re delighted he seems to be drinking it fairly quickly, but also a little dismayed because a good matcha latte takes a decent amount of work and it’ll take a little time if he wants another cup. “I want to go back but I can’t yet. I wish he wouldn’t be so goddamn stubborn about it is all. Just because he thinks I didn’t do anything wrong doesn’t make it true.”

You nod, like any of this makes any goddamn sense to you. But maybe– maybe it doesn’t have to. Maybe Bucky’s saying all this because you’re an outside entity with no personal stake in, or knowledge of, what counts as treason, or what’s needed to lack culpability, or what it means to be an absent friend.

He rambles, a little bit, and though about half the words are proper nouns you don’t recognize, you nod along, and when he finishes his latte you make him another one, and when he leaves, you don’t mention the door. Even though you want to.

~

You’ve actually forgotten how nice it is to have someone come through the door. Case in point–

“Um, I hope this is all right,” Steve Rogers, dressed in casual civilian fare and holding a small pot of flowers, says as you can do nothing but stare at him. “I just wanted to stop by and thank you again for being so understanding. May I…come in?”

That snaps you out of your funk and you quickly stand aside. “Of course; sorry, I just…wasn’t expecting you.”

“I was just going to leave the plant with a note if you weren't here, but I’m glad you were,�� Captain Rogers says and walks in, and sets the pot down on the counter.

You walk over to the fridge. “Would you like something to–” As you turn to finish the question you see him glance furtively at the window. Ah, of course. He looks down guiltily and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh. Well, he did come through the correct entrance and brought some pretty flowers. “All right, you did knock on the door this time; go sniff around the fire escape all you want.”

“I’m just checking something I forgot,” he says quickly and goes to the window. He’s only outside long enough for you to brew some tea and he comes back in just as you’re pouring his cup. It isn’t until he’s about to take a sip, however, that he says, “Oh– I know it looks bad, but Bucky– sorry, James Barnes– I swear he isn’t dangerous.”

“I know. I saw some of the trial stuff,” you lie. Well, you did see some of it, but it wasn’t until you heard Bucky mutter “Martha Stewart was right,” while fussing at some of the blood on his shirt that you felt safer. Strange as it is to think.

Steve relaxes his shoulders like some of the weight is off of them. “You have no idea how good that is to hear. You wouldn’t believe some of the things people say to me. I can’t really punch people anymore because I’m so much stronger now but it’s so tempting sometimes. At least when it’s online I can mime punching them.”

His annoyed tone allows you to laugh a little. “Maybe imagine the block button is a punch in the face?” you suggest.

He grins. “My friend Clint suggested printing out the most irritating comments and taping them to a punching bag. It didn’t really work but the thought was nice. The block button as a punch to the face though…”

The guy doesn’t really need more violence in his life, but he genuinely seems pleased with the idea, so you let it be. And when he starts ranting in detail about some of the comments he gets about Bucky, you make a new pot of tea– chamomile. For the both of you.

~

You don’t know how the flowers are dead already– it seems like Steve just brought them and they were so pretty you immediately looked up care instructions and followed them to the letter. Or so you thought. But now, only days later, you have a pot of dirt and withered petals.

And Bucky sulking at your counter.

“I told him I was fine,” he says petulantly.

You sigh and bring the pot over to the sink and think about what to do. “Did you tell him in person?”

“In a letter. He knew it was from me.”

The soil looks nice, so you’ll dig out the remains and try to plant some replacement seeds. Maybe that was the problem– maybe the flowers were sick or something. “Well reading and seeing are two different things.”

“He knows I cover him in fights.”

You slowly look at Bucky. His oh-so intelligent response is to bristle like a cat and go, “What?”

You roll your eyes. “He’s desperate to see you, knows you’re near when he’s fighting, and you wonder why he’s “so goddamn reckless?’”

Bucky just glares. Yeah, these two morons absolutely deserve each other.

You hope Bucky figures it out sooner rather than later.

~

He doesn’t, but he keeps coming by, as does Steve, and you resign yourself to hosting two pining idiots who keep dancing around each other.

Bucky drinks anything you give him without complaint. However he drinks the lattes and almost anything green tea a little quicker, though he tries to hide his cup from you when he does. Whether he’s ashamed of going through them so fast or embarrassed you don’t know, but you start to give him bigger cups, and that seems to help.

The first time you give Steve a cup of apple pie spice, he gives you a severe glare– which he then completely undermines by liking the blend immensely.

“I swore the next person who offered me apple pie would get popped,” Steve says, an amusing mixture of half-bluster and half-shame as he sips from the classic teacup you hope not to regret handing him.

“Lucky for me it’s not actually apple pie,” you say. “Do people really make that joke?”

The eyeroll Steve gives that is 200% sass. “You have no idea,” he says, deadly serious, “–how funny people think they are.”

~

This becomes…oddly normal. Listening to Steve talk about anything that’s on his mind, giving Bucky new tea blends just to see how he reacts to them; your apartment is no longer just you and a bunch of greenery that seems to wilt more often than not. Everything seems warmer, and better– even your plants seem healthier. (For that, though, you suspect Bucky is giving them a special mixture of something after you catch a glance of him messing with one of the pots. You want to ask him what he’s doing, but you don’t want to admit that he’s better at taking care of them than you are.)

It’s so normal, that you feel the silence only after the first few nights without a visit. They don’t visit every night, but they visit often enough that you know they’re off somewhere even without them telling you. For a couple of weeks you try to pretend the quiet doesn’t bother you, but you check the fire escape twice every night, and then once more before you go to bed.

~

The next time you see Bucky is during one of these checks. There was no tapping, no noise to otherwise alert you, he’s just suddenly back, sitting next to the window, hunched over in black clothes nearly blending into the darkness and staring out at nothing in the night.

“What’s wrong?” you ask and crawl out to kneel next to him. “Are you hurt again?”

“No,” he mutters and continues to glare at some imaginary point in the distance. “Steve was, though.”

It’s a little harder to swallow. “Is he going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” Bucky mumbles and buries his mouth further against his arms. “He’s fine, strutting around the hospital like a- like a- …” He huffs and sits back to wave his arms before he curls back in on himself. “But it was close, and he’s an asshole.”

“Mm,” you say. “Chamomile mint?”

He sighs heavily but he gets to his feet and starts to enter, only to stop and hold open the curtains for you.

“Thank you sir,” you say with only a hint of sarcasm and go on ahead to get the tea started. Bucky snorts but doesn’t say anything and you use the time the water needs to heat up to take care of some of your plants.

“Stop it.”

The snap comes so fast from Bucky you immediately stop what you’re doing. He doesn’t look as angry as he sounded, but he’s frowning pretty hard. “You're overwatering that one; jade plants are succulents. You don’t need to drown it.”

You look at the plant and set the watering can down. “Oh.” You knew that. You think. You’re just nervous. “Did you see him? In the hospital?”

“Briefly. I didn’t talk to him; just made sure he was all right,” Bucky says. “And he is. I wouldn’t leave him if he wasn’t.”

That does assuage some of your concerns. Steve is nice. You want him to be okay. And Bucky is– also nice, but god, they’re both so fucking frustrating. “You couldn’t have just–”

“Don’t start with–”

“I’m just saying–”

“And I’m telling you not to say–”

“I pay the rent for all that you sublet my fire escape; I’ll say what I want,” you manage to finish to Bucky’s consternation. You lift your head proudly and he frowns to one side. And then he…smirks. You’re not sure you like that.

“Crappiest space in the city,” he says and sits up. “You could at least get a chair.”

You roll your eyes and dole out the tea, fixing it the way Bucky likes. No sugar for this one, but plenty of honey. “If I ever have to leave for an actual fire, I’ll be in enough trouble trying to get around you.”

“Nah. I’d carry you out,” Bucky says and lifts his cup in a silent ‘cheers.’ He takes a sip and the sigh sounds content, so you assume you did it right. For a few moments a comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you sip warm drinks surrounded by greenery (that is mostly green) and life goes on in faint sounds outside the confines of your home.

Bucky sets his empty cup down with a sigh. “Do you think, if I show up to throttle him, that he’ll actually start watching his own fucking back?”

You give that some serious thought. “Will you give him time to moon at you first?”

Bucky sighs with disgust and flumps back onto the counter. “This is stupid. This all feels so stupid.”

You open your mouth because you do have a lot of opinions about honest communication and using innocent civilian apartments to dance around each other, but Bucky shoots you a glare to let you know that a, he knows, and b, he doesn’t appreciate it. You roll your eyes and go back to drinking your tea. It is a very good blend, and you’re not going to let it go unappreciated because two early 20th century boys can’t get their shit together.

Not that you’re complaining, really– you’re starting to feel like less of a disaster by comparison. Or maybe letting two strange men into your apartment makes you just as bad by default. You rub the bridge of your nose. Yeah, no one is getting out of this looking sane. You feel like that should bother you more than it does, but it’s just a fleeting thought before you go back to worrying about Steve and pouring Bucky’s cup back to full.

~

The next night when someone knocks on your door, you’re only mildly surprised to see Steve on the other side. And most of that surprise is because you can see fading bruises on his face, and also because he is holding a fairly big potted plant with tall green and yellow-edged leaves.

“Hi,” he says and lifts the pot slightly. “I got you a present.”

“Uh, wow; thanks?” you say and quickly step back to let him in, momentarily forgetting he can probably carry it around with ease. Steve places the plant on the floor near the end of your couch, where it actually looks fairly nice. He gestures at it proudly. “It’s a snake plant. The man at the nursery said it’s very hard to kill.”

“You’re not funny,” you say but you look at it appreciatively. It is nice, and you could do with ‘hard to kill’. Speaking of– “Should you be up? You look like you should be in a hospital.”

He shrugs and his face goes neutral. “I’m healing well enough that there’s nothing a hospital could do for me. And I felt so…restless.”

You nod. “Want some tea?”

“Please. I really like what you make,” he says and immediately takes a seat at the counter. Oddly enough, it’s not the one Bucky always takes. You don’t realize you squint at the space for too long until Steve looks curious and asks, “Is everything okay?”

You squint at the countertop. “Yeah, just…trying to figure out if that’s a stain or a spot.”

Thankfully there is a spot of spilled something and you quickly grab a towel and wipe it away. You think it’s a pretty good save, but Steve looks at you with a raised brow, like he’s figured something out. You freeze. “What?” What are you going to say? How is he going to react? What will you–

“Was that a coffee ring?”

You blink a few times, and then roll your eyes as your chest practically deflates. He smiles and winks. “I can’t believe you.”

“I am a layered human being who can drink many things,” you say defensively. “And if you want coffee you’ll have to ask another time. I’m not giving you anything with caffeine in it when you look like you got hit by a truck.”

“Train,” he corrects absently. “It barely clipped me.”

You sigh and go for the sleepy blend. One of you is going to have to bow out of this conversation due to exhaustion and at this point you don’t care if it’s you. However it might truly come in handy as Steve keeps looking out the window and shaking his foot. You set the cup in front of him and before you can ask what’s wrong, he takes the cup in both hands and blurts out, “I think I saw him.”

You look at the window and squint. “Seriously?”

“Not here.” Steve rolls his eyes. Like you’re the crazy one. He blows gently across the surface of the liquid and says, “Though it’s strange you’d think I saw Bucky out of your window.”

“Isn't that why you started showing up here in the first place? I distinctly remember someone with a big red, white, and blue shield lurking on my fire escape.”

“Oh, right,” he admits sheepishly, hunched over his cup. His eyes glimmer with mischief as he looks up at you through long lashes and asks, “Did I ever apologize to you for that?”

You’re brought up short by the amount of boyish charm this giant walking wall of muscle manages to pack into that look and you have to find your tongue to say, “I– y-yeah…”

Steve chuckles to himself and you give yourself a mental slap on the face. “Troll,” you mutter and sip from your mug. The liquid is piping hot and burns your tongue, giving you an excuse to grimace when Steve flashes you a beautiful smile.

~

You’re in trouble.

Not physically, not immediately, and perhaps someone on the outside might say you’re being dramatic about it, but they wouldn’t know shit about the situation. They wouldn’t know about how your hands felt as they slid over Steve’s when he handed you a new small pot of flowers; they wouldn’t know about the feeling of serenity that settled over you when Bucky abandoned some of his oh so careful control and rested his head on your shoulder for four long seconds; they wouldn’t know how it feels like you’re missing something until someone shows up at your door or taps at your window.

You’re falling in love with two people who have always been, and still are, desperately in love with each other.

Isn’t that just your luck.

~

In the end, Bucky takes your advice more to heart than you ever expected he would– you and Steve are quietly enjoying each others’ company, with you standing in the kitchen and Steve sitting at the counter as per usual, when the curtains move dramatically for Bucky to slip in, which makes Steve whirl around, and your hands jerk so hard from all the sudden surprise that your cup slips out and crashes to the floor.

“Shi-” You forget to watch your step and immediately catch a jagged shard that embeds itself right under the ball of your foot. “Ow, fuck!”

Your name is said in different voices but very similar tones of alarm and you suddenly find yourself gathered into Bucky’s arms, bridal style, and he carries you over to the couch. “Wh-” You swallow at the close proximity to Bucky’s chest and the way he holds you so effortlessly but so securely. “I’m fine; it’s just a little–”

Bucky sits down on the couch and doesn’t move you, which means you are basically sitting cross-wise in his lap. This is not something you need after your recent revelation, and it doesn’t get any easier when Steve comes back with the heavy duty first aid kit Bucky got you and gingerly takes your foot to examine the injury. His sympathetic look towards you gives you the warning you need to brace yourself before he pulls the shard out. It doesn’t hurt too terribly and he’s almost tender as he cleans your foot.

“Look at us, matching blood and all,” Bucky says lightly.

“It’s my floor I’ll bleed on it if I want,” you grumble, but you’re too distracted by how focused Steve is on fixing you up. “You…seem to be taking this well.”

“I knew he had been here since the first time I came,” Steve admits as he rolls the gauze around your foot. “There was a bloodstain on your floor still.”

“Seriously?” You had thought Bucky was being overdramatic about the supposed stain and humored him, but it…makes sense. Why else would he come back the next night. Why else would Steve continue to come by. And because Steve had kept coming, Bucky had kept coming, and…they won’t need to come back anymore, will they? They now have what they’ve wanted. Each other.

Someone says your name and you force yourself back to neutral as much as you possibly can. Steve looks curious though and Bucky says, “What’s with that look?”

“There’s no look,” you say. “And if there is, it’s only because you two have devised the weirdest meet-cute ever– decades after you actually met.”

“Hm.” Bucky continues to stare at you, but doesn’t say anything else.

~

They come back. And they both use the door.

You don’t know what you’re more shocked by– that Bucky and Steve, having come back to each other, are still coming around to you, or that Bucky is actually walking through the designated threshold. You don’t have a lot of time to think about it though because the place is…a mess.

“What happened here?” Steve asks as Bucky’s shoulders go up to his ears and he looks around the place like he’s going to find something unpleasant.

“It’s not that bad,” you say and glance around. You’ve cleaned out a few of the pots already and stacked them away in the closet, but some of the plants are still…slightly alive, for a little while. A couple are even doing fairly well– one of which being the snake plant Steve got you.

“What happened to the jungle?” Bucky asks, looking around shrewdly. You don’t like the sound of that. It feels so…probing, and raises your hackles. Why should he care?

“I wasn’t keeping them alive for very long.” You flick a yellowing leaf and keep your tone light. “I just got tired of it. What are…what are you doing here?”

You don’t look at Steve, but he clears his throat and his tone is similar to Bucky’s when he asks, “Is now a bad time?”

“For what?” You square your shoulders and face them. Like an adult. Like an adult who had two other adults just sort of crash into their life one day and start sharing space until such time as the two window-crashers decided they…didn’t need to come around anymore. “I’m happy you both found each other. You didn’t have to come back.”

Steve looks…well, he looks hurt. You don’t know any other way to describe it; it doesn’t show in his face so much as in his eyes, in the feeling you get watching the line of his shoulders lower. But before he can say anything, before you can explain yourself, Bucky speaks up.

“It isn’t like that,” he says.

You look down. It’s easier than looking at a man who feels rejected, and a man who has you completely pegged.

“What?” Steve asks.

“It’s okay,” you say, in perhaps the biggest bald-faced lie you’ve ever told.

“That’s not– no,” Bucky insists and lifts your chin. His fingers are warm and gentle and linger too long.

You pull back from his touch before you can embarrass yourself further. “You guys were literally circling each other.”

“Please.” Bucky rolls his eyes. “I don’t need to keep coming back here to be near Steve. I know where he lives.”

“And I leave my window unlocked,” Steve says. He aims a cheeky grin at Bucky and adds, “Guess I should have left it open though.”

“Shut up,” Bucky tells him but looks at you and says, “Point is: we weren't using you.”

Steve blinks. “Oh– no, of course not!”

“It’s all right,” you say, trying as hard as you can to assuage their discomfort even though you can’t put much into it. Even though you did very much want this meeting to happen, somehow you don’t feel very ‘all right.’

“No,” Bucky says and takes your hand in his. The flesh hand, which he runs up to the middle of your forearm. His touch is gentle and light, even when he grips. You can break away, but you don’t– you let him pull you in, close and closer, until there’s barely any room between you.

Steve crowds from the side and puts one arm behind Bucky, and one arm behind you. “If you only think we’re here because of each other, then it’s not all right,” he says softly.

“I know it isn’t– I know you weren't ‘using’ m–” You swallow hard. “And I know it’s not–”

They both swoop in for a kiss– for a kiss with you. Somehow they avoid bumping heads and the lip-lip-lip contact is barely there, with Steve at the corner and Bucky barely catching one side of your upper lip, but they're both there for a glorious moment that leaves you stunned.

“Oh…” you say, dumbly. You try to fight it, but a smile pulls at your lips. “Oh.”

“That good already, huh?” Steve asks quietly, slowly forming a small smile of his own.

You let out a little sigh that is immediately undermined by an uncontrollable laugh that swells from a bubble of relief at the base of your throat. “Bucky’s right, you are insufferable,” you say but you reach out to sweep your fingers in a gentle touch down Steve’s cheek and under his chin.

“You get used to it,” Bucky says.

You think about that. Even with how you’ve been, entertaining these two rotating planets over the last however many weeks or months, this would be an entirely new normal.

You think you can’t wait to get used to it.

[sirsparklepants]

Geralt walked into the bar just in time to watch his client take a half full solo cup to the face. Lucky for him, this wasn't a security gig, so he didn't have to do anything but settle in the corner by the stage.

The whole crowd booed as the client sputtered, moving his guitar away from himself as the drink cascaded down his face. "Well!" the man said. "Glad I could bring you all together like this!"

A Smirnoff Ice bottle flew at the stage this time, and the man caught it, shoving it into the front pocket of his skinny jeans. "Guess my set is over," he muttered, and scanned the crowd.

Geralt moved from where he was slumped against the wall, letting his white hair catch the dim light from the bar. His client brightened a little as he saw him.

"Geralt, right?" he asked. Geralt didn't answer - they'd already exchanged names and photos, though he'd forgotten the client's name already. Good thing he didn't try, though, because the other man was off and running.

"I'm so glad you're here early! I certainly didn't expect this kind of reception. People seem to like my recordings just fine, so perhaps it's my stage presence. What did you think, Geralt, is it my stage presence? Am I threatening to the heterosexual men of the world? Come on, you can tell me. Three words or less."

Geralt grunted. "Wouldn't know," he said. When Jaskier tilted his head, he added, "Just got here. Let's get your shit before someone takes it."

"Ah, yes, an excellent suggestion," the client said. He led Geralt back to the stage - unnecessarily, as it was barely five steps away - and began to pack up his more delicate equipment. This close, Geralt could smell the distinct tang of Natty Light in his hair, and wrinkled his nose.

"Did you park by the side door or the main?" the client asked, when everything was ready to go.

"Side," Geralt said. "Want to stay here with the rest of it so no one takes off with it before I come back?" he asked, nodding at the other half of the music equipment.

"Oh, no need!" the client said, hefting up the heavy speaker Geralt was sure he'd be schlepping. "I do most of my own fetching and carrying. I can't get it all, but I can certainly get it out to your car. That's the thing I'm missing, really."

Geralt grunted and started for the side door instead of talking.

He'd pulled out his tarp and ratchet straps when he'd gotten the client's email, so once they'd settled the speakers and other things in, he wrapped them up and tied them down. They didn't take up too much room in the bed of his old Ford Ranger, but it was enough he was glad to have moved his things to behind his seat. When he finished, he saw the client standing awkwardly by the passenger door, and he wondered if he'd forgotten to unlock the door before he went into the dive bar the client had been performing in.

"Sorry, it's just - do you want me to go back in and ask for a towel or something?" the client asked, gesturing at his wet face and hair. "It's a bit sticky, and I don't think your seats would get the same benefit from a beer rinse as my hair."

Geralt shrugged. "She's seen worse," he said. "Get in."

Normally, with clients, he fished a tape out of the shoebox he kept shoved under the seat. The musicians tended to sing along, though, so he pushed the fake tape that let him play from his phone into the tape deck and let the Coast to Coast AM rerun he'd been listening to on the way over keep playing.

The client seemed to enjoy it, only speaking up to give directions. He lived on the third floor of a run-down but not terrible apartment building, the kind that Geralt's brothers usually lived in when he saw them. The elevator was busted, so they had to haul everything up the stairs. Geralt was distinctly grateful this client did some of the work for himself.

When they had settled everything in the client's bedroom, Geralt turned to him. "Hundred orens, like you told me," he said.

The client bit his lip. "Well, you see, Geralt, my dear," he said, "I don't actually have a hundred orens." His hand settled on Geralt's arm, stroking up and down. Geralt suppressed the urge to flinch. "I was hoping we could settle up with an... alternative method of payment."

"I don't take bitcoin," Geralt said immediately. He'd had enough bad experiences with that.

The client laughed. "No, darling, I wouldn't do that to you! I'm suggesting something else entirely. My roommates are out for the night, after all. I put clean sheets on the bed. And I've been told I'm quite talented."

Geralt considered it for a moment. His client was pretty, with big blue eyes, long legs, and strong hands. He'd get a night of sleep in a real bed, instead of in the bed of his truck, out of it, and a shower, too. But the gas gage was nearly at empty, and there was shit for work in this town. He needed gas to move on.

"We exchanged emails, that's a written contract," he said instead. "If you can't come up with the money, you're in breach of it." He was bullshitting and he knew it, but hopefully the client didn't.

The other man's face fell. "I really don't have the money," he said. "Didn't even get paid tonight."

Geralt scowled and bared his teeth at him. "Lot of expensive equipment in here for someone who doesn't have the money," he said.

"Brought it with me when I left home, was all!" the client said, a little nervous. "Wait, wait, okay, I have an idea how we can get the money, alright?"

"An idea?" Geralt asked.

"Yes, an idea," the client said. "There's this commune on the edge of town, no one has ever been inside, but they say they're hiding from the government so they don't have to pay taxes on the big country mansions inside. We can sneak in and steal something from them! Be our own Robin Hoods, right? You can stay with me to make sure I don't run off on you, and if that doesn't work, you can come to the pawn shop with me tomorrow. I'll sell.... one of my amps to get the money I owe you, alright?"

It was a harebrained scheme, but at least the client had a backup plan. And in the likely case he chickened out, Geralt could still demand to sleep in his bed. "Alright," he said. "Let's go."

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Possessed Part 2 Chapter Five: Turns

For the sake of my sanity, I chose to split this chapter into two parts because after all the heavy edits I performed on it, it was too long and there was already a cut point in the middle anyway.

Waking up in his old room was very odd. It was bare, the shelves empty and the walls free of decoration but the glow in the dark stars he’d stuck to the ceiling shortly after moving in were still there and the comfy bed with its green bedspread felt the same. It felt wrong to be in a place he used to feel so safe and cozy in with King Boo in his body, making everything so awful.

King Boo scoffed internally at that as he dragged them out of bed. They would both rather stay sleeping but even with the aid of magic and willpower they could only sleep for so long. Luigi would’ve been content to stay lying in bed, pretending to sleep, but King Boo wasn’t having it so up they got.

Stepping out into the hall, they almost ran into Mario. He jumped back, putting on a smile. “Good morning Luigi.”

“Good morning,” Luigi replied even as King Boo ignored them both as he headed straight for the living room.

Once there, he paused and glanced around until he spotted the phone. ‘What’s E. Gadd’s number?’ he asked, as he beelined for it.

Luigi gave it to him as he dialed it in.

It rang twice before someone answered it. “Hello!” It was Gooigi.

“I need to talk to E. Gadd,” King Boo said before Luigi could try to return the greeting.

Gooigi mumbled something in reply followed by a call for E. Gadd. A few seconds later the sound of the phone changing hands occurred.

“Who is it?” E. Gadd asked from the other side, his tone mildly annoyed.

“Any more progress on your machine?” King Boo asked, not wasting time with being polite.

“Nothing significant and your call is only slowing me down.”

“You need us down at the lab for anything?” There probably wasn’t anything either of them could help with at this point but Luigi might as well cut in and ask to make sure anyway since they were already on the phone with him.

“Hmm… not right now. I’d like you down here later tonight though. I might be able to measure how fast your souls are merging if I can scan them around the same time each day. So, I’ll see you later tonight, an hour or so after the time you show up yesterday. For now, goodbye.” He hung up.

King Boo hung up too before turning around to frown at Mario who was standing behind him.

“Any news from E. Gadd?” he asked.

King Boo mentally nudged Luigi to answer because he didn’t want to talk to Mario if he didn’t have to. So… “Not really. But uh… he wants us back at his lab later tonight to try to measure how fast the uh… soul thing is happening.”

“Well, I supposed that’s to be expected. What are we going to do in the meantime?”

Luigi opened his mouth to answer but… he didn’t know. It was still early morning, they had hours before they were needed at the lab.

‘Does your brother keep any alcohol in the house? Or perhaps other ways to make time seem faster?’

Luigi would’ve been tempted to go along with that idea – anything to dull his misery and make the passage of time feel faster – if it wasn’t for Mario. In general Luigi would rather never be seen while overly intoxicated on any substance but with Mario it’d be even worse. So… No, we’re not doing that.

King Boo frowned. ‘How ‘bout I do it anyway? If there’s none in the house, I’m sure we could find some elsewhere.’ Even before completing the thought, he was already headed for the kitchen; the most obvious place to look for alcohol.

He only took two steps though before Luigi tapped in his magic – he was getting better and more used to that each time he did it – and stopped him from taking another. Excepting it this time, King Boo managed to keep his balance this time, he did stumble a little though.

“You okay?” Mario asked as he walked around to stand in front of them.

‘What do you propose we do then, huh?’

I don’t know, just not that, okay?

If not cooperating was a viable option King Boo would’ve told him to fuck off and do as he pleased anyway. But as it was, he had no choice but to acquiesce for now. ‘Fine! But just so you know, I refuse to let you make all the calls about what we’re going to do or not do until the machine is done, got it?’ While he didn’t have full power over Luigi anymore, he still had a lot and could definitely make his life a living hell if he tried pretend like he was in full control now.

It was Luigi’s body though so… Luigi didn’t even let himself finish that thought because King Boo didn’t care. … Yep, he was here and stuck so Luigi was going to have to deal with him for a while longer. … Which meant they’d have to make some kind of compromise if they wanted to maintain their peace agreement.

‘All right, how about this: we don’t get drunk or high off our asses but otherwise, I call the shots.’

No. Luigi wasn’t going let himself be walked over any longer. We can take turns choosing how we want to spend our time. It was the fairest they could probably be about this and hopefully it would only be for a few days. Though that was unlikely, it’d probably be at least a week if not more.

King Boo sighed and groaned, he didn’t like that idea but… ‘Fine, whatever.’ It would guarantee him some time to do as he pleased without having to fight Luigi for it. Though he’d have to do the same back which was lame. This whole playing nice thing was even worse than he’d thought it be. When he was free of this, he was never ever going to possess anyone or even anything ever again. … Good! As far as Luigi was concerned, he never should’ve in the first place.

Pushing aside King Boo’s answering annoyance, Luigi turned his attention back on Mario at last. He was watching them with a slightly worried expression on his face.

“We’re uh… fine,” Luigi said, forcing a smile. They were about as fine as they could be given the situation. “We decided to take turns on deciding what to do to pass the time. It’s my turn first.”

‘I never agreed to that!’ … Luigi didn’t care, he’d already spoken so for once, he was going to make things go his way here. In large part because he just wanted to spend some time with Mario. He deserved that after everything he’d been through lately, right? … ‘I don’t see why he’d want to spend time with you.’ … Luigi was not going to reply to that or dwell on it.

“… but it’ll have to do for now until we can get rid of him,” Mario was saying as Luigi focused back in on him. “Which will be soon I’m sure. So uh… what do you want to do?”

“He wants to spend time with you,” King Boo cut in with a derisive tone before Luigi could answer. “It’s pathetic.”

Mario scowled before putting on a smile. “We can hang out. We’ll just ignore him; pretend he isn’t there.”

“Good luck with that.” King Boo scoffed. “Letting him do as he pleases, doesn’t mean I’m going to stay quiet in the background.” Not surprising, that’d be far too much for Luigi to even hope for let alone expect from King Boo. He’d have to take what he could get.

Mario didn’t respond though, not even with a glance as he turned towards the kitchen. “Let’s have some breakfast and then we can hang out and play video games for a while, it should be fun.”

 -

‘Fun’ was harder to have with King Boo’s grumpiness about everything bleeding into Luigi’s feelings. And his occasional mean comment, both out loud to Mario and internally were a bit of a downer too. Luigi did his best though. And Mario, always the best bro ever, ignored everything King Boo said, somehow always knowing when it was him talking. How much it annoyed King Boo was honestly pretty funny at times especially since he didn’t want either of them to know it affected him any.

Overall, despite King Boo and his best efforts, it was definitely the best day Luigi had had since the start of this nonsense – not that there was much competition for even a good day, let alone the best. They played video games and watched some TV together, eating junk food. It was almost like the good old days before they’d gained any real responsibilities or learned how cruel the world could be. Back when they’d been nobodies; not heroes or anyone’s rival or anything else, just a couple of bros who’d gone into the plumbing business together.

Alas, as with all things, it had to come to an end at some point. Eventually it came time for them to go back to E. Gadd’s lab. Mario drove while King Boo decided to take a nap lying in the back seat. Neither Luigi nor Mario approved of the no seat belt necessary for that position but King Boo didn’t care and it wasn’t worth fighting over much so he got his way.

Gooigi greeted them at the door when they arrived, answering the bell within seconds as if they’d been waiting for them, probably at E. Gadd’s request. Immune to Polterpup’s barking, they lead the way into the lab proper.

The boxes and piles of junk had been moved, allowing for the beginnings of a new invention to be built to the left. It wasn’t much but it was a start. Hopefully when it was finished, it would work.

E. Gadd was already setting up the scanner again. Making it easy to quickly get to the reason for their visit without even exchanging greetings of any sort.

“Your souls are definitely more merged than they were this time yesterday,” he said a short time later, not even looking up from the scanner readout on his laptop yet. “I don’t think it’s a worrying amount though, not yet anyway. I want to keep a close eye on it though so come back this time tomorrow. But for now, shoo.” He closed the laptop as he stood up, making a shooing gesture with one hand at them. “I need to get back to work.”

King Boo had no complaints about that so with a shrug, he turned and strolled out of the lab. Luigi would’ve preferred to hang out a little bit, make sure all was going well and help out with anything if it was needed but… ‘It’s my turn now.’ And King Boo didn’t want to stick around so they weren’t.

“Uh… be sure you’re not overworking yourself or anything,” they heard Mario say behind them before he ran to catch up with King Boo as he exited the building entirely.

“Drop me off in town on your way home,” King Boo said to him without even glancing his way as they headed back towards the car. “I have some stuff I need to take care of.”

“You really think I’m going let you run off by yourself again?”

“Yes, actually. That’s part of the deal I made with your brother, remember? I let him have fun with you, now it’s my turn to do whatever I want. He’ll be the one to pay for it the most if you try to stop me.” Completely confident that Mario would do as he said, King Boo climbed back into the backseat of the car. After closing the door in Mario face, he lay back down and threw an arm over his eyes to block the light.

A few seconds later, Mario climbed back into the front, slamming the driver-side door hard enough to shake the whole car. “Fine, but I want him back home before midnight.”

“I’ll have him back at not long after sunrise tomorrow, no sooner.”

Luigi would rather not stay out that long but they did need less sleep now so it wasn’t the end of the world. And it would give him plenty of time to spend with Mario tomorrow. So… “I’ll be fine bro, don’t worry about me,” he said before Mario could try to protest. “He already agreed not to… do anything bad or… you know, so it’ll be fine.” Or at least as fine as it could be.

“All right, I guess.” Mario still sounded unhappy about it as he started the car. “I suppose it’s not like he’s gonna run off anywhere anyway.”

[creepyoldbeejfics]

Do one where the reader just moved in with The Deetz and she meets Beej for the first time and he’s flirting with her trying to get her to say his name but she isn’t falling for it 😂❤️

Omg yes! Great idea!! Btw, I’m sorry in advance, but this is going to be depressing at first. Also this one’s really long and a bit of a rollercoaster tbh, so sorry about that😅

Don’t You Wanna See Him Suffer?

(Beetlejuice x Fem Reader)

Warnings: Angst, mentions of abuse, and bruises. For this, there is a hotline link at the very end because I want you all to be safe.

Pic credit: @thewolfisapartofmysoul

After years of being abused by your boyfriend and not being able to get away from him, you’re finally moving. You would’ve contacted the police for a restraining order on him, but you were afraid of what would happen if you called the police, or broke up with him. So the best thing you thought you could do was move in with your friend Lydia. You didn’t want her family to know why you were moving in because you were afraid they’d call the police for you and you didn’t want your problem to become their problem. So, you made up a lie saying that your house was going to be under construction for 8 months so you needed somewhere to stay. You just needed time to relax your mind and clear your head until you could come up with a plan for how to get rid of your boyfriend. Besides, maybe he’ll give up and leave during those 8 months.

Your boyfriend had to go to work tonight, so while he was out at work, you got your suitcases and brought them out to your car. You gave the house one last look, and drove off. Tears started to stream down your face, as you were unsure what this was going to do for you, and were scared that he’d somehow find you. Luckily you blocked him on every social media platform and turned off your location. You were already imagining how livid he’d be which was making you cry even more. In hopes of blocking out your flooding thoughts, you turned up the radio.

After some time, you finally reached their house. You couldn’t wait to live with the three of them. Well, temporarily at least. You wiped your tears as much as you could, so Lydia’s parents wouldn’t question you. You grabbed your suitcases and headed up to the door dropping most of them because of how heavy they were. You hesitated, wondering if you were doing the right thing, and feeling bad that you were burdening them with another person in the house. But you rang the doorbell anyway. The door swung open with Lydia’s dad greeting you at the door.

“Oh! Let me get those for you!” He exclaimed as he sort of struggled to bring them in. They were really heavy. Oops. “Lydia!!! Your friend is here!!”

You walk in looking around at the house. You’ve never been to her house before so it was good that you finally got to see it. You noticed that the furniture was a little strange. The whole house seemed strange. Lydia came running down the stairs, giving you a big hug. “Ugggh!! I missed you so much, (Y/N)!!”

“I missed you too!” You squealed as you squeezed her tight. You two had been friends for many years, but you hadn’t seen her much at all due to your overprotective boyfriend. “Come on my room’s this way!” she said as she grabbed your suitcases. “Oh I can get them!” You say trying to take them back. “Nah it’s fine. Geez! What’d you put in these?? They’re so heavy!” “Bricks and our favorite bath bomb,” you joked. “A toaster?” You nodded causing both of you to start laughing. You didn’t actually bring one, you just had a ton of stuff.

Once you both got to her room she put your suitcases down, panting afterwards. “Wow, I love your room. It’s so spooky and dark looking. In a good way,” you said in awe. “Oh, no I take that as a compliment. That’s exactly what I was going for,” she said smiling proudly. “I’ll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom,” Lydia said, leaving you alone in her room.

You walked around looking at some of the things in her room. You noticed a picture of her and her mom on her shelf. You smiled, because you knew by just looking at them that they must’ve been inseparable.

All of a sudden a chill ran down your spine and you didn’t feel so alone anymore. You looked around, but no one was there. Even though you didn’t really believe in spirits or ghosts, you thought that her mom could’ve been there and didn’t like you picking up the picture of her and her daughter. So you immediately put it down out of fear.

You tried to relax, so you ignored the feeling and looked at the other pictures. One of them was a picture of her and her friends, and another one was of her and her step mom and dad. ‘What a nice family,’ you thought to yourself. Suddenly, you saw a very strange picture. It made no sense. Lydia had her arms out like she had her arms around two people, but no one was there. You thought, ‘well maybe she was just trying to be silly.’ After all, she likes to joke around and prank people and stuff. But then you noticed that a piece of her hair seemed to be... FLOATING?? Like it was resting on someone’s shoulder or arm... that made no sense... that’s not even physically possible. You’d have to have someone else there...

“How...?” You said out loud, trailing off.

“Yeah it sucks that ghosts can’t be seen in pictures...” a rough voice said from behind you.

You immediately whipped around to see a man in a black and white striped suit. His skin was pale with mold spots and moss on it here and there. His fluffy, yet spiked hair was a pear green with lighter highlights of green on the tips. Maybe he’s not a man? You noticed his eyes were yellow with golden specks scattered throughout his irises. Contacts, perhaps? Then you realized he reeked of death and decay. Hopefully that’s just some really bad cologne... instead of... well whatever he is, he scared the shit out of you. You had so many questions, but the big question that kept haunting you was why was he sort of... attractive?

“I bet photo bombing is so much fun...” he sighed. Then he looked at you, eyes widening realizing you were making direct eye contact with him.

“Wait. Can you see me??”

“Y-yes...” you stammered, turning around and grabbing a lamp immediately. You held it upside down getting ready to swing it at him.

“BOO!” you hear from behind you. You scream, aiming the lamp at Lydia now.

“WOAH!!! What’s going on??” Lydia raised her hands up before realizing the demon who stood next to you. “Oh...”

“I’ll call 911!! Go tell your parents!! I don’t know where he came from!!”

“(Y/N)! Stop! Calm down... this is a friend of mine,” Lydia explained.

“What?? But he’s...” you trailed off looking at him. You had no idea what he was. Some sort of entity?

“Sexy?” he asked smirking. “Irresistible? The best mistake of your life? Wait...”

“No more like lonely, depressed, horny, clingy, annoying, and weird,” Lydia remarked. “Oh, yeah. And he’s a demon.”

“A demon?!? Do your parents know?? How long have you been friends??”

“Yes, they met him shortly after I met him. We’ve been friends for a few years now. I’ll explain everything,” Lydia assured you.

“Okay... does this demon have a name?” You questioned looking at him suspiciously.

“His name is Beetlejuice,” Lydia replied.

“Beetlejuice? That’s a strange name...”

“Actually it’s my middle name. My first name’s Lawrence,” the demon said looking smugly at you.

“Uhh, why is he staring at me like that?” You asked, stepping back uncomfortably.

Beetlejuice chuckled, “Lyds, Delia told us not to have snacks before dinner, but I think I’ll have to make an exception with this one.”

“Excuse me?!?” you asked disturbed. ‘I did not sign up for this,’ you thought to yourself.

“Beetlejuice!” Lydia scolded, hitting him in the belly. “We talked about this!”

“Time for dinner!” Delia called from downstairs.

When you came down the stairs, the family introduced you to a couple, who were ghosts. Adam and Barbara Maitland. They apparently died in this house, so the Deetz offered to share their home with them. Throughout most of dinner, Beetlejuice stared at you. Even when you caught him, he continued to stare. It was weird and made you uncomfortable, but you found yourself staring back at times. The Deetz would ask you how you were doing, and you’d lie making up a bunch of stuff to show that you were happy. While you told them this, you noticed that Beetlejuice’s stare became sympathetic, which really messed with your head. It’s almost as if he knew... No. That’s impossible.

Once you finished dinner, both you, Lydia, and Beetlejuice went upstairs to her bedroom so they could explain everything to you. First, Lydia explained how she met the Maitlands and Beetlejuice, and then explained everything that happened afterwards. This included her telling you about her pain and how she was suicidal. I felt terrible for her, but you understood how she felt.

“Wait so you actually went to hell??” You asked, trying to take everything in.

“Yup,” Lydia confirmed.

“That’s so cool,” you said, clearly intrigued.

“Actually, it sucked. It was an endless abyss of nothing.”

“Oh...”

“And you wonder why I’ve always stayed on earth instead of going to the Netherworld,” Beetlejuice said, crossing his arms.

“That and your mother,” you added. Beetlejuice nodded, his face immediately turning smug. “Besides, I’d rather stay in a world with sexy breathers like you...”

“Well I hate to break it to you, but you’ll have to find another ‘sexy breather’ elsewhere. I’m taken,” you said confidently, crossing your arms. It wasn’t a lie, you were dating someone, but you mentally cringed remembering the abusive man you were with.

“Well, I’m gonna go to bed before things get more creepy and awkward,” Lydia said raising an eyebrow at us.

“Yeah, me too. Goodnight, Lydia. Goodnight Beetlejuice,” you said, walking out of her room to go to their guest bedroom.

You walked in and opened your suitcase to put on an oversized t-shirt and PJ shorts. You loved wearing oversized t-shirts and were able to pull them off really well. You walked into the bathroom and changed, brushed your teeth, and then did your nightly skin routine. You walked out to go back to your bedroom to see Beetlejuice sitting on your bed.

“What are you doing here??” You challenged.

“I don’t sleep. I mean I do, but it’s more just for fun.”

“Well I do, so get out,” you barked.

“Fine. I guess you’ll never know why I’m actually in here then...” he said walking past you, smirking.

“Okay, why are you here?”

“I just wanted to get to know you, doll...”

“Yeah right. You already know everything about me,” you huffed.

“What gives you that idea?” He queried.

“The way you look at me. Like you know something. It’s creepy.”

“Well, I’m a creepy old guy, what do you expect? But yeah, you’ve caught me,” he said raising his hands. “Except I don’t have you completely figured out.”

You knew he knew something. You wondered if he could read minds. At this point it wouldn’t be too off brand. “Why did you look at me with pity when I was explaining how I’ve been doing?”

“Because I know you lied... you’re not happy.”

You walked backwards, sitting on your bed. He followed, sitting at the foot of your bed.

“How did you...” you trailed off. This was insane. You smiled and everything when you were telling their family how you had been doing. You were great at lying. Which isn’t a good thing, but it sure helped save you from getting more scars and bruises from your boyfriend.

“As a demon I’m more prone to sensing hidden emotions. And sometimes I’m able to tell when people are lying. Not all the time though... but I could tell you were. The look in your eyes was full of pain and sorrow.”

You looked at him, shocked and amazed. You immediately shook your head, “I’m fine.”

“You’re not safe, are you?” He eyed your wrist.

You noticed the bruise, and immediately turned your wrist over.

“What happened?” He asked, reaching for your wrist to turn it back over.

“Don’t touch me!” You snapped, raising your arms away from him. “What do you want with me anyway? Why do you care??”

He looked at you with pity before pushing back his sleeves to reveal his own scars and bruises. Your eyes widened at the sight, causing you to regret what you said. “I’m sorry, I had no idea... Was it your mom?” You asked softly.

He nodded silently, looking down at the ground. More silence filled the air. Both of you were looking at the floor for some time.

You revealed your wrist, caressing the bruise, “My boyfriend did this...” He looked over at your wrist and then up at you. Your eyes met, and for a second you felt like hugging him, but refrained yourself.

“I was 17 when I met him. He was 18. There were no red flags. He was perfect. A true gentleman. He was always there for me when I needed him and was constantly giving me love and affection. But the worst mistake of my life was trusting him.”

Beetlejuice looked at you with sympathy in his golden eyes. You looked at him before continuing your story.

Throughout the story, you noticed that the concern in his face grew more and he would keep gradually moving closer to you.

“It was getting unbearable and I still can’t believe I haven’t figured out how to leave him. I’ve put up with this bastard for 7 years and have done nothing about it!!! I’m weak!!!” You shouted angrily with tears in your eyes. “I’m a coward...”

Beetlejuice gently grabbed your hands, holding them in his. “Hey. No you’re not. You did think of something. Look where you are now. You found a way to escape,” he said squeezing your hands to reassure you. “That was so brave of you. So don’t call yourself a coward or weak. I believe you’re going to make it, okay?” He said wiping a tear off your cheek with his thumb.

You looked up at him, trembling. You hugged him, holding on tight and burying your face into his chest as more tears streamed down your face. He was shocked the minute you hugged him, probably because he doesn’t typically receive affection. But he wrapped his arms around you anyway, resting his head on yours.

“How do you know it’s going to be okay though?” You ask pulling away from him, your eyes still glossy from your tears.

“Hey. I’m a demon. I know everything,” he chuckled.

You blush, looking off to the side uncomfortably. “You know...” he begins slyly, “I could help you...”

“What do you mean? How?” You ask frowning.

He grinned, “All you have to do is say my name three times doll, and I’m all yours. I could get you out of this mess.”

“Say your name three times?”

“Yup. But it must be spoken unbroken,” he said waiting in anticipation.

“Okay, Beetlejuice...”

He adjusted his tie getting ready for the big moment.

“Beetlejuice...” you said with a gleam in your eye.

“Yes!!” He growled in excitement.

“Wait, whats in it for you?”

“No, oh, come on!!” He whined. “I... well... I get to help the most gorgeous breather...”

“Wow, you’re so convincing.” You rolled your eyes.

“Fine! It’s just, well I understand where you’re coming from. You feel trapped. Kinda like how a king is trapped by the other chess pieces. Like you have no more moves to play.”

You eyed him suspiciously, yet curiously, always intrigued by how he would occasionally start to get into deep talking.

“But sometimes you gotta look at it differently. Or uhh... think outside the box,” he sputtered. “Look for something to help you. Use your resources. For example, me. I’m a pretty reliable resource if I do say so myself.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked teasingly. “What do you have in mind?”

“Well I think he should be the one to go...”

“Ha! What are you going to do? Snap your fingers and he disappears?” You said scoffing.

“Yeah... or we could make it a little more fun...” he said smirking.

“What? How? How would you even make this situation ‘fun’?” You asked frowning.

"By making him suffer... give him a slow, long, painful death.”

“What?!?! No!!!” You yelled, covering your mouth immediately and looking at the clock to see that it’s 2:30 am.

“Fine, fine... at least let me torture him a bit.” He said opening his closed hand, causing a big flame to rise from his palm.

“No!! Absolutely not!!” You said pushing him. “Why do you like violence so much anyway?”

“Well, it’s just infuriating how he’s been treating you.”

You glared are him. “And violence is fun!”

“I should’ve known that you were only going to help me purely for entertainment.” You said getting up to walk to the other side of the room. He reached out for you a bit as you got up, not wanting you to leave his side.

“No, wait! It’s like a win win! I get to help you and get to have fun while doing it!” He assured happily.

“Nothing about this situation is fun!” You shouted. “I really thought you were a pretty understanding and empathetic guy, but I guess I was completely wrong.” You said, hurt. “I guess you only care about making yourself happy.”

“I’ve haven’t been happy in a long time.” He said looking at the floor with sorrow in his eyes.

“Oh no. Don’t even try to get me to pity you because I won’t. If you want someone’s pity so badly then go back to Lydia.”

“I just want someone to understand me. I thought you’d understand because you’re going through something similar as to what I went through.”

You rolled your eyes turning to look at him, his back facing you as he continued to look at the floor. Your eyes widened at the sight of his once green hair, being completely purple. “Abused, neglected, treated like a worthless tool. I mean in different ways obviously because that was your boyfriend to you and that was my mother-“

“Why is your hair a different color? How are you doing that?” You cut him off.

He sighed, grabbing at his hair and falling back into your bed. “My hair changes colors based on the emotions I’m feeling,” he said blatantly.

“Really??” You asked, popping your head above his. “That’s really cool,” you said, intrigued.

“Actually, it’s pretty inconvenient for me. I can’t hide my feelings like the rest of you breathers can. But even when I want people to know how I feel, they don’t really care. But I guess I sort of deserve that,” he chuckled but his weak smile turned into a face of dejection.

“So I guess purple means sad, right?” You asked, gently sitting next to him as he layed on his back. Your eyes both met, but he looked away without responding.

“I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have judged you so harshly. I’m just.. it’s hard for me to trust people.” You said looking off to the side. “It’s okay. Not many people trust me at first. I guess that’s just the kind of vibes I give off.”

Silence filled the room once again. You thought about your situation back at home and Beetlejuice’s strange offer. You felt bad for him because of what he’s gone through, but you knew he wasn’t genuinely wanting to help you, he just wanted to cause some chaos. At the same time you wanted him to feel wanted and cared for. ‘He’s a demon,’ you told yourself. ‘You have to be careful.’

“So have you thought about my offer?”

“Well, you’ll have to be more convincing...” You said standing up from your bed.

“I told you, I can end this for you.” He said sitting up, looking impatient.

“Without killing anyone?” You asked suspiciously, coming to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Without killing anyone,” he confirmed swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to sit next to you.

“Without any violence or chaos?”

“No promises...” he chuckled.

You hummed frustratedly, not knowing if you could trust him.

“Come on. What else are you going to? You’re too afraid to call the police, you’re too afraid to tell your family or ours. Or are you just going to wait it out and hope that he leaves? You’re still forgetting the fact that when you go back he could still be there. And you know what could happen the minute you walk through the door. You could die if you go back...”

You looked to the side, your mind at war. He made a pretty good point. Unless you could somehow get to the garage to see if your boyfriend’s car was there. But it didn’t have any windows and besides, he’d hear your car. Unfortunately your car wasn’t the quietest... you couldn’t believe you were thinking it, but maybe the best decision was to accept Beetlejuice’s offer. He was pretty convincing and it didn’t help that he was attractive. You turned to look at him, gazing into his eyes.

“Besides, what were the chances of actually meeting a demon that has the power to do anything you desire....” he said softly and flirtatiously.

“Anything...” you started looking smugly at him and using your hands to bring yourself closer to him. “Anything I desire...?” You asked slowly, now inches away from his face. His eyes widen at your response and you look up to see a strand of his green hair slowly turn pink. He noticed you looking at his hair, causing him to run his hand through his hair, keeping his hand over the pink strand.

“Anything, babes...” he said grinning, almost at whisper. He had removed his hand from his hair and moved even closer, and began looking at your lips. At this point, beginning at the roots, the rest of his green hair slowly started turning pink.

“Beetlejuice...” you said softly, looking at his lips as well.

“Yeah?” He asked quietly, still concentrating on your lips and moving closer.

“Beetlejuice...” you repeated, grinning. At this point your lips were only inches away from each other.

“Oh...” he realized you were about to say his name three times. “Say it again, doll...” he said smirking, still concentrating on your lips.

You suddenly noticed all of his hair was pink.

“Wait, what does pink mean?” You asked abruptly, backing away quickly.

He grinned still looking at you the same way. “It means this...” He leaned towards you without warning, his hand moving towards the back of your neck. “What are you,” you started, his lips interrupting your question. You weren’t actually planning on kissing him before, so you were pretty shocked. Your eyes widened at first, but you then closed them, finding yourself kissing him back. Your hands moved from his chest to his shoulders.

You pulled away confused, yet loving what just happened. You couldn’t believe a demon just kissed you. You were blushing, noticing his hair was still completely pink.

“Well... I must say... you are pretty persuasive...” you said teasingly. “But I’m still never gonna say your name three times.”

“I can live with that,” he said smirking. “That’s not the right word in my case, but you get what I’m saying.”

You giggled, still gazing at him lovingly. You realized that you both still had your arms around each other, but you decided not to let go.

“So what are you going to do if you’re not gonna accept my help?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ll think of something. I appreciate you accepting your defeat though.”

“That’s because one way or another, I know you’ll need me.” He said slyly looking down at you.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are in trouble, are getting abused or feel unsafe at home, press this link down below!!

Otherwise reach out to someone for help!!

[sherlollydramoine]

Welcome to the Tumblr-Dome Bitch!

Warnings: Not really any. Just Rami being awkwardly adorable as he discovers the world of Tumblr and the fanfiction about himself. Special shout outs to some peeps on here. I wanted to include all of you but alas, I did not so please don’t be offended. There is going to be a part two and some of you guys may also get a special shout out in the second half. MIght be a bad word or two and references to a smuttier second half of this. Not to worry lovies… I have a plan for this, and hopefully it works out well. :)

Here you go boo, thanks for the request. I hope this plays out exactly as you wanted it to. Enjoy lovies! :) So I had to break this up because it was about to be wayyyyy too long. So once I finish part two I will definitely get it posted.

(PART TWO) (PART THREE)

Word Count: 1384

You met Rami at a bar after work one Friday night.

You two hit it off, and enjoy chatting and getting to know each other over the course of several hours and a few drinks.

He enjoyed the fact that you were a fan of his, and he teased you about it, while you first attempted to play coy. He knew and you didn’t try and play coy for too long before acknowledging that you were a fan of his.

You both decided to head back to yours since you both closed the bar and your place was a lot closer than his.

Once you were home in your small apartment you tell him you’ll be back, you just wanted to change into something a little more comfortable.

You tell him to make himself comfortable, so he takes a seat on your couch right in front of your open laptop.

When you come back out, you notice him reading something on your laptop and then it hits you. 

You were beyond mortified, because you had forgotten that you took the screen saver option off, and you had been in the middle of writing a really smutty piece of fanfiction about him.

His face was priceless, a mix of confusion, embarrassment and intrigue.

“Oh my God Rami, Oh my God-you were never supposed to see any of that.”

He looks up from your screen looking guilty.

“I’m so sorry YN, I didn’t mean to snoop, I just saw my name and was curious. Honestly for a second I thought you were really an undercover journalist or something.”

“Yeah I’m not a journalist just a part time, fun time writer. It’s just something that I do for some fun.” you shrug, trying to seem casual to cover your embarrassment.

“This was actually kind of interesting though I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually done anything sexual like that before.” he says with a smirk.

“I haven’t really either.” you confess. “It’s something my readers like so I write it like that a lot.”

“Wait? Your readers? There’s more? You publish this stuff?”he asks curiously. 

“Ummm… yeah. On Tumblr, I have something nearing 400 followers and I have a lot of requests. I-I-I-Yeah I write a lot of smutty stories about you. Those are the only stories that seem to get a lot of traction. I write plenty of fluffy cute or angsty stories, but my smut is a fan favorite.”

“Can I read them?”

“Oh fuck me… umm.. Well.. I guess.. It’s-There’s-I have a lot.”

“A lot? How many?”

“Well something going on like forty pieces with several more works in progress.”

“Jesus! People read and write this stuff about me?”

“Oh boy.. Yeah. There are several writers that I follow that also write about you.”

“Wow! How come I didn’t know about this?”

“Because I’m pretty sure that you aren’t supposed to. Besides you’ve said you don’t really do the social media or internet thing. Most of these writers are completely anonymous, and others are very open about their identities on Tumblr.”

“Can you show me?”

“Rami, is that a good idea? Some of this stuff is..It’s.. Well, it’s not exactly PG. I don’t know if the other writers would be comfortable with me showing you this stuff, though I supposed we could create you a Tumblr and I can let you discover them for yourself. I’ll teach you how to search your tag. Please don’t make me regret this.”

He just smiles at you. “I won’t, though this could give me some inspiration on some stuff that I can try with you later.”

You show him how to make a Tumblr account, and then once he gets everything set up and situated with you both laughing your asses off at the fact that he basically created a faux fan account about himself.

“Hey YN, can I follow you? You seem to be well connected in my what did you call it?”

“Fandom.”

“Yeah that.”

You let out a deep sigh before agreeing. You take the laptop and type in your username and hit follow. You make sure that he watches how you did it, in case he wanted to follow anyone else in the future.

Before you know it you’d both gotten lost in the ‘Tumblr sauce’ and he’d been reading a ton of different fanfiction items about himself. Him reblogging and commenting on them, which again you both found to be absolutely hysterical. 

You both had lost track of time, and now it was nearing somewhere around almost six am, the sun just barely beginning to peek out beyond the horizon. 

“YN how the hell did we just spend all that time on Tumblr?”

“Welcome to the Tumblr-Dome Biotch” you laugh out and so did he. “It’s too easy to get lost in the Tumblr sauce, and it’s really distracting. Please tell me that I didn’t create a monster?”

“Well I’ve already downloaded the app on my phone, and have everything set up. I also get notifications from you so now when you post I’ll know it.”

You feel your face flush with embarrassment as a yawn escapes you.

“So much for the hot sex I thought we’d have.” he says.

“There’s always.. Tonight?”you suggest. 

“Abso-fucking-lutely, give me your number. Or I could just send you a message like you showed me how to do on Tumblr.” he says. “I am getting tired, and should probably get home, but I promise we’ll chat and I will be back tonight. I’m going to read some more fanfiction before going to bed to get some more inspiration. I really love @xmxisxforxmaybe​ her stuff is actually really great, she should write professionally. And that @txmel​ and @ramimedley​ have the best comments ever, and I’m really thinking that @the-real-ramimalekpeen​’s blog is hilarious. I should probably start wearing underwear more instead of ‘under-air’ as she calls it.”

“Oh my God Rami, those ladies are all my personal friends and I’m-they’d-shit they’d kill me if they knew that I let you find their blogs. Well Peen might just laugh it off and think it was hilarious. She and I have actually talked about this recently. I’m not sure how X would take though, and Tex and Medley would enjoy your comments on their comments. “

“Wait you call her Peen?”

“Yeah to you, I’m not giving you any of these ladies real names without their permission. So I refer to all of them by their usernames unless given permission by them to refer to them as themselves. Tumblr is great because it allows its users to be as anonymous as they want to be. Only a handful of people know my real name outside of Tumblr. Though I do talk to Peen and Medley regularly outside of Tumblr. So Peen is referred to as Peen or RMP in conversation even with other users.”

“RMP?”

“Duh silly- Rami Malek Peen.”

“Oh. I think it’s-it’s well it’s kind of weird that there is a blog dedicated to my penis, and it’s various ‘sightings’. I suppose though in the grand scheme of internet stuff that probably isn’t the weirdest shit out there about me. It does kind of make me sort of feel kind of- I don't know- proud that people want to see my penis though. I mean it is pretty amazing if I do say so myself.”

“Oh you have no idea Rami, no idea. Tumblr is-it’s-yeah. It’s a cesspool of weird and bizarre. But it’s also fun.I know for a fact that Peen’s blog is meant to be all in good fun. It started as a joke and it took on a life of its own. Also, please do wear more ‘under air’ because we all love playing the spot-Rami’s-peen game. You’ve been giving your fandom juicy content like this for a long time, don’t stop now.” you laugh as he unconsciously puts his hands over his crotch.

You yawn again, and this time so does he. 

All too soon he was leaving and you prepared to go to bed, as soon as he was in his Uber your Tumblr notifications started going off. You picked up your phone and saw that Rami was reblogging a bunch of your fanfiction. Shortly after he started messaging you about how he is definitely enjoying particular segments of your fanfiction. You laughed, and messaged him back that you were about to close your eyes, and will definitely read his messages when you woke up later.

@r-ahh-mi​ @mrhoemazzello​ @spacedustmazzello​ @hissom1933​ @txmel​ @ramimedley​​ @free-rami​

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

Awkward Encounters While Walking My Friend’s Dog

I was in my office and just finished my paper work for the day. It was a rare occasion that there's only a minority criminal activities and we didn't had any emergency calls yet so this is a very good day so far. Fortunately, my chief told me that I can take the rest of the day off after so I'll take this chance to relax a bit at home before the kids comes home from school by Sheba's turn.

That is until I saw someone at my door who rarely wore a navy blue jacket and I knew him well enough that he doesn't wear it without a good reason. “Sam, are you attempting to shop lift right in the station?” I asked him. He shushed me. “Hey! Are you done? Kit told me that you've don't have much today. We need to get out ASAP with you.” Did he said we and with me? Who is he talking for and... why does he looked a bit bigger with that jacket that he rarely used? Lawyers do have a three piece suits but Sam had his signature yellow sweatshirts on most days and doesn't take the coat parts unless he had to.

But then I heard am animal noise and some wiggling... then it made sense.

I have a friendly dog who likes to run around You may have seen us on our daily walk

Sam have brought his dog today! “Sam, why are you hiding Tia-” He hushed again. “Félix, just finish that sh!t and let's go. I don't wanna deal with any more pot-heads today!” He really doesn't liked being with people that he gets 'bad vibes' from. I know that he's hard to get along sometimes, but I know him well that he's a really nice guy and hopefully one day he can be a bit more nicer... “Alright, just let me report these and then 'we'll' head out. That poor girl needs air.”

We frequent the river and the parks around the town When I see someone I know she'll always let me stop and talk

When we exited the station without drawing suspicions, Sam finally let out his boarder collie, Tiara. She's a very friendly and beautiful dog. I'm also her favorite human next to Sam. It might come to a surprise that I'm a bit fond of dogs but not as much since as I'm more of a 'cat' person. For some reason since I can remember, dogs liked me, even the more ferocious ones like a guard dog.

She gets a little anxious when she sees another dog But with people, she's always been relaxed

“I hate it whenever I take her for walks, there's a bunch of idiots that wanted to see her.” Sam complained. “Then why couldn't you, I don't know, take a different route?” I might not relate cause I never had dogs in my life. “Félix, I already tried it three times, I can get lost in the Amazon jungle and there's still people that wanted to talk to my dog. She's a beauty but she's not exactly that one with white gloves and worked in Disneyland.” He sighed. I know it wasn't his or Tiara's fault that people liked her, but I do understand that being in the center of attention can be daunting.

But she's not very discerning when it comes to choosing friends And there seems to be a certain type of people she attracts

“Let's stop at the local supermarket before we stop at my house. It's my turn to make dinner and I was thinking making macaronis. Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?” I'm not a five star chef but I can do more than just slapping PB and J sandwiches. It was usually Sam who covered our coffee  most of the times so I thought that this would be a nice gesture in return. “Yeah, sure, at least your cousin is out of town at the moment.”

“Why?” I asked confused. “Same reason why there's less branches in your backyard.” Ohhhhhh... Alex and Sam 'helped' to get a ball back a few days ago before he had to leave a while for 'business' reasons.

Translation: Alex refused at Sam's idea because he himself is more capable climbing trees and getting the ball than him. He pulled the tourist rule about not allowed to 'work' so Sam decided to 'reason and negotiate.' By throwing him up in the tree and then tells him off with his lawyer degree skills and the loop hole in that rule.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

We walked for quite some time and like Sam described, some people were attracted to her. If this was a dog show, she'll be winning first prize for sure. Sam was beginning to get a bit grumpier as soon as there's a few people that walked up to Tiara. “OMG! Is that your dog?” “Awww! Hey there!” “Who's a good doggie?”

They ask me lots of questions and offer their affections and I feel obliged to uncomfortably stay

I would feel a bit sad for him cause he has to deal with this, but I took that back when I looked up to him as saw that he was 'flipping' them off with both hands.

Their behavior may be crude but to ignore them would be rude and my mother didn't bring me up that way

“I found out that I could do this for a good amount of period and they still wouldn't notice it. How hilarious is that?” Sam smirked but I had to scold him and make him stop before they noticed it. All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

After they had their attention and noticed Sam's response, I had to scold him. “Sam! You can't put everybody on the hate list forever. Just because, and I know, there's bad people, there are also good people that really didn't meant any harm.” “ Félix, if I had to 'politely' accepted a salad dish recommendation and crap like a parrot for the next couple of days, you can at least let me steam off some 'pet peeves' or what I preferred to call some major psychotic f#king hatred.” I sighed deeply in frustration and rubbed my eyes. I swear sometimes that he must be related to Bendy like a long, lost elder brother. “Listen, I can hear your problems anytime over coffee if you promise not to do it again like that.” I offered so that way he's not gonna cause more damage. He shrugged but decided to agree. “Fine... Only because I trust you and when you're around.”

She's utterly oblivious to my concerns of their intent She runs to greet them with a wagging tail

Thankfully, the 'fans' soon resumed their ways without them noticing my friend's behavior. How can someone like him have a sweet dog like that? I decided to ask for real this time since I rarely ask about his past before he moved. “Hey Sam. I've never know how you got your dog since we've met. How did you got her?” I desperately search around for an easy exit point but the incoherent small talk starts before I have the chance to bail

He then told me the story. “Eh bien, Félix, it was when I returned back home from the war. After I reunited and returned with my twin brother, Simon, we both headed to our childhood home. Mind you, I didn't go back after that night he and my ex we're cheating on me at the time and before the war. That place was then passed on my brother since I didn't claim half of it. Which I didn't care for the old barn but anyways, I then soon found out that during those times I was 'missing,' they got married, had triplets which was a big surprise back home and what's more surprising but not that it's new by now, they look a lot like me at that age.” I can't argue with that cause I saw them in pictures and in persons at his birthday party. “I found they're really nice family. They are so-” “They're a bunch happy-jolly ranchers and I can only tolerate so much like my brother. They all drive me nuts but at least... they aren't bad.” He then said. I know that Sam's not much of an optimistic, but I do understand where he's coming from. “So apart from that, I did had a small apartment in the nearby town and build my career from law school. One day, they showed up on my rare days off and they gave me a puppy. She was from a litter in a neighboring farm and they wanted to give me a companion since I didn't have anyone and I was being 'cold' to almost anyone.”

My senses always tell me that I'm going to be mugged So I reach to get my wallet and my phone

“Well... maybe they wanted you to help you and wanted to give some affections? I get that sometimes from pets. I'm sure they really cared about you and wanted you to be happy.” “Félix, if I wanted some 'affectionate' companion at the time, I would have gone to a brothel.” I frowned a 'WTH' face at Mr. Sourpuss. But he then he got a gentle expression I occasionally see. “But... at least she's reducing my stress and well... comforts me.” I can imagine him sleeping and his dog snuggling in his bed. Most people wouldn't want dog hair in their beds but some would take the risk. He really is a nice guy deep down. I flinch as they utter unintelligible words And then sigh with relief when I detect a friendly tone

“Also, one of the best part is that she doesn't throw dishes at me when I called her mom's a bi-” “SAM!” Happy place is now temporary closed.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

We walked a bit more until we hit at a winery store. It seems like they're having some sort of a wine tasting stall outside of their store. I end up in a fug of fags and stale cider breath and I try to hide my obvious dismay

Like the previous group, they notice us and they went for the dog. How can a half drunken people be out like this at this time of the day?

She seems to be a breed that has a certain appeal to types whose diet consists of bark and boos for every meal

The owner had handed out cups of wine to both of us before he joined the others to have his turn petting the beautiful dog. Sam took mine and he dunked both cups into the drain. “White wine taste better anyways.” I would have 'remind' him again, but the dog's affections can distract people. Plus, I don't drink so he get a pass just this once.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

After a few minutes, we resumed and left those people with happy drinking. “Gee, Sam. Tiara is really is a special dog.” He laughs. “Ha! I had her for 5 years and you think I wouldn't noticed it? The kids loved her just as much.”  I agreed. We already had a cat until we lost her a few years ago. The twins barely remembered him cause they were little, but our cat was so cuddly to me and he had a fulfilling life. I was pretty sad when he died and I wasn't ready for another one since then. Not to mentioned that the twins were a bit too wild to take care for one, no matter how many times they brought up the subject and I had to remind them the responsibilities that comes with it. But at least they started to learn a bit once Tiara came into the picture. “At least it's a good experience for them. Maybe one day we can have a pet in our house once they've learned their lessons.”

I do my best to avoid certain areas of the park where the druggies and the rough teenagers dwell

We then stopped at the grocery store. Unfortunately, dogs aren't allowed. Sam then handed the leash to me “I'll go. You stay here with her. I don't want anybody so something to her like tying cans to her tail.” “But Sam, I'm the one who's in charge of-” “Where do most pasta stuff is shelved?” He reminded me. “...Top. The top shelves. I'll wait here.” I forgot that time we both got in there and it was one of those tall-short problems that got 'solved.' Sam was going to grab an item that was on the top shelves but I said I was going to grab it. That smart@ss agreed, picked me up and said 'OK, you can grab it.' Oh my Ra! That was so embarrassing! Sometimes, it was better to grab my twins than tagging with him.

I rarely venture out with her when it has gotten dark lest we catch the attention of some drunk may be well

I was enjoying some alone time and dazed for a few minutes. I rarely have this type of moments so I indulge myself to clear my head. Sadly, life doesn't go the way we planned when I saw a familiar bodyguard coming towards me. It was Boris Von Wolf. Bendy's right hand man and the second command in Alfonzo's mafia. I gritted my teeth. What is he doing here? I try to keep away when there are people hanging round the benches and the sitting walls and swings on the playground

He seems to noticed me and smirked. So of course, he walked up to me. “Well, well, well. If it isn't the 'ace' detective himself. He he! Taking the night off? Well, at least we'll be sleeping better for tonight.” I just glared at him. “I'm still not falling for your dirty tricks. You two and the rest of you scums can't fool everyone forever. One day you'll pay for what you've done for the innocents.” I spatted. He then cracked his knuckles. “Oh really? Are they ALL innocent to begin with? You're just as dumb as Bendy always said.”

Then suddenly as if out of nowhere they appear staggering hands out slurring:

He then reached out at me, or at the thought of the moment at least. I winced for impact until I heard:

“BAHHH, Who've we got here?”

I widen my eyes and turned my head next to me to see the big, bad wolf being a softie to Tiara. Oh yeah, I forgot to watch her from anyone who tried to harm her. For someone like him who detested 'good guys,' he sure has a huge soft spot for dogs. If that wasn't enough to convince you, does these words that came out of his mouth sounds like it? 'Who's a good doggie? Is it you? Is it you? Dawwwww!'

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

Now this is a rare situation. It's not exactly threatening, but it isn't good either. I'm risking my friend's dog to the second most powerful man of the Chicago underworld who's infatuated with her friendly doggy charms. I was not trained for this kind of situation! As if it didn't got any worse, Sam came out of the store.

They greet me with a wink and they offer me a drink and I say thanks but it's too early in the day

He got stunned to see me and the other two. I mouthed 'I swear I didn't mean to!' He just waved and singed me to say 'I know what to do.' He then handed me the grocery bag and did a karate chop on the wolf's fedora. Hard. I choked.

Though they catch me unprepared, I've long stopped being scared I just find it hard to work out what to say

The sun hasn't set yet and they already started to light up the matched. Boris grumbled as he rubbed his head and fixed his hat. He glared up to see Sam. “Oh, what a nice, f#kng, surprise to see you here. I should have paid better attention.” He dusted himself off from invisible dust as he got up.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

Boris then got face to face and stared at Sam like it was some sort of contest. From my point of view, they're only about a head apart in height. On one side we have a football/boxing body builder type while the other was decently built but taller person. While one is close combat expert while the other is more technique planned. It's a bit of a competition in a brawl.

And then there's me with only a dog... whom she did nothing wrong.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

“I see that you're still working for pigeons, lamp post.” Boris 'greeted' “I see that you're still an ottoman for your bat brat, ya wolf skinned doormat.” Sam replied. Sam and Boris is like me and Bendy, we don't belong in the same room together. “You're just jealous that I don't have to work that hard to get anything I want such as money, love and power. There's nothing that you and the kid next to you can't compete with what we have.” Boris said. But Sam brushed it off. “I object, cause I found one thing that MY cat partner let me have that your 'cat' partner will never let you have.” He squinted his eyes. “Oh really? What is it, bird brain?”

Accessorized with diamond white and cans of special brew It's really very sweet in its own peculiar way

Sam then smug a big grin as he grabbed me and Tiara in both his arms, while he had both his hands free to 'flip' him off. “I get to keep my dog, B!!!!!!!!!!!!tch!”

Ok! Now we're gonna die, thank you Sam, you gave me a reason why I will die so young.

Though they may cause some alarm, they don't mean any harm They only want to come and have a play

I can see the shaking anger from Boris as if he's gonna go rampage. “Oh, by the way, I think that specific duck meat that only sells in here, you know, that one your cat person loved so much? I think I saw only one left. It would be ashamed if someone else grabs it before you do.” Sam suggested. That made Boris calm down a bit. “Dang! That's the only ones Bendy likes only for here! Fine, you win this time, but don't you think you'll get off easy next time. You're only lucky that it was today's special dinner. I bid you two losers an unpleasant day. ” He then entered the store.

All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog and I'm far far too polite to walk away

“Lucked out indeed. He can't beat me that easy and he knows it's bad luck to mess with a black cat, righty-o, Félix?” Sam teased. “You're old enough to know I don't say righty-o.”

Dad, if you're still watching me from above, what did I do to deserve a friend like him and where would I be without him?

----Author's notes-----

Haaaaaaaaaah! I'm lagging nowadays! I wanted to do stuff but I just MEH!

So at least One-shots are faster and better. So I did made a story with my personal OC fave with his dog. It's a boarder collie, so they're very eye catching.

The song inspired this was Awkward Encounters While Walking My Dog by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq

There is also that Felix the cat catch phrase ‘Righty-o’ I bet that Felix really doesn’t like to do it for some reason. Which on the other hand, my OC was based on the fruit loops mascot with his catch phrase of ‘Just follow your nose!’ which I could see him doing that but added: cause I can smell bullsh!t with mine!

I know that Boris is loyal to Bendy and would do anything, but I bet that he wouldn't harm any dog unless it's threatening his buddy. Including police dogs if there are any in the main BBTIM AU.

So I hope that everyone is doing well so far during these times. I know that there is a lot going on including recent events these past few weeks, but I do wish everyone the best.

BBTIM humanized characters belong to @marini4 and OC humanized Sam Toucan is mine.

[justakpopfic]

Jump Scare

Summary: Mingi does everything in his power to scare Yeosang. But what happens when Yeosang gets scared?

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2,177 words

Masterlist

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

Seonghwa’s hopes that today was going to be a normal day were thrown out of the window when he walked into Mingi, sitting in the living room, surrounded by hay.

Hay was scattered everywhere, some have even been caught in Mingi’s messy morning hair. Mingi had a shirt and a pair of pants in front of him, along with paint, and what looked like a potato sack at his feet.

Seonghwa stared silently at Mingi before speaking up, “What are you doing?”

Mingi let out a startled gasp. “Goodness,” he said. “What are you doing up at 5 am?”

“That’s exactly what I was going to ask you,” Seonghwa said. “What’s with all of the…hay?”

“I’m making a scarecrow.”

“Why?”

“I need one.”

“Why do you need a scarecrow?”

Mingis face turned pink. “To scare Yeosang.”

“Why do you want to scare Yeosang?” Seonghwa asked.

Mingis cheeks grew into a darker shade of pink. “Today is October 1st,” he said, “I’m going to prove to everyone that I’m not a coward. And I’m going to do that by scaring everyone of you guys, starting with Yeosang.”

Seonghwa slowly backed away from the younger boy. “I think I’ll just go back to sleep, and this will all just be a strange dream,” he said before he left Mingi alone in the room.

It was no secret that Mingi was scared of almost everything. Personally, Mingi thinks that he’s just easily startled, but of course that never stopped the teasing. The constant jabs Mingi got at his cowardly nature was all in good fun. But with the Halloween season slowly coming up, Mingi has the amazing, or crazy, idea of scaring as many people as he can.

But this year, Mingi’s main target was Yeosang. Why Mingi chose Yeosang, no one really knew. Maybe it was because Yeosang always had the attitude that nothing really scared him.

And Mingi wanted to prove that wrong.

When Mingi had finally completed the scarecrow, he looked at it for a good five minutes. It looked like any other scarecrow, minus the fact that patched of hay were falling out, and for the clown face with fangs that Mingi had painted on. However, Mingi thought that it would be perfect to give Yeosang a good scare.

Mingi quietly crept to the door of Yeosang’s room. He leaned the homemade scarecrow on the wall, facing the door. If all went according to plan, then Yeosang should wake up, walk out, see the clown scarecrow, and hopefully scream.

Mingi had to hold back his giggles as he walked away.

Soon enough, everyone else began to wake up. Yeosang was not the first person to see the finished product. It was Hongjoong, who walked up in front of it to stare at like a kid at an aquarium. He was soon ushered away by Seonghwa, who seemed adamant on pretending that it didn’t exist.

After almost everybody except Yeosang came out, each reacting to Mingi’s creation with a combination of confusion and curiosity, finally, Yeosang’s bedroom door opened.

Mingi held in a breath as he saw Yeosang emerge. Yeosang groggily rubbed his eyes as he walked towards the dining room. He lowered his hands once he began to walk down the hall. Mingi sat at the end of the hallway, stunned silent.

Didn’t he see the scarecrow? Was he so tired that his brain didn’t register the clown scarecrow? There was no way that he could just walk past it, without any reaction.

Mingi sat at the table with disappointment. He was so sure that he’d be able to get him. As he and the other boys were eating, a shout came from the end of the hall.

“Woah! Look at this thing! It’s like someone had to create Pennywise on a budget!”

A few seconds later, Jongho rushes into the room with Mingis scarecrow in his arm. His hair told Mingi that he had just woken up, and his eyes were widened with surprise more than fear.

Glancing over at Yeosang, Mingi could see his eyes widened for a split second, before morphing back to normal.

“Weird,” he said. “I didn’t notice it. Was it in your room?”

“No,” Jongho said.

Mingi had to do everything he could to not scream in frustration right then and there. He didn’t notice? A clown scarecrow? Right in front of his door? What was this boy on?

“Can I keep this in my room?” Jongho asked eagerly. Judging by his reaction, Jongho wasn’t scared of the scarecrow at all. None of them were. Mingi suppressed the urge to groan. First plan, failed.

Mingi wasn’t about to give up so quickly. He still had an entire month to scare Yeosang good. He was just going to need a better plan.

A week later, the boys had finally begun decorating the house in orange and black streamers, and signs of ghosts that say “BOO!” To some Halloween enthusiasts, (a.k.a Wooyoung) it was way too late into the season. But nobody listened to him.

Covering the bushes in fake cobwebs, Mingi opened the pack of plastic spiders. He placed a couple of spiders on the cobwebs, and when no one was looking, he’d pocket a few for himself.

Hiding fake spiders to scare someone. Not the most original idea, but effective. And much more easier than making a clown scarecrow, which was now sitting in Jongho’s room, much to Seonghwa’s distain.

As Hongjoong and San we’re arguing where to put the fake skeleton, Mingi snuck back inside to Yeosang’s room.

He walked over to Yeosang’s bed, and he lifted up the covers. He sprinkled the fake spiders and spread the blanket back out over them. After a few moments of unnecessary patting down the covers, Mingi left the room, silently praying that his plan would work.

“Why are you hanging around Yeosang’s room?” Seonghwa asked Mingi that evening. Mingi had been walking up and down the hallway, failing to not look suspicious.

“Waiting,” Mingi answered.

“Waiting for what?”

“Yeosang.”

Seonghwa just sighed and walked away.

After what felt like ages, Yeosang finally was walking towards his room. Mingi ran to hide in his own room, almost like a giddy child.

Yeosang opened the door. He closed it as he entered. Then there was silence. And more silence. Which was followed by even more silence.

Okay, why wasn’t Mingi hearing anything? Yeosang must’ve not pulled back his blankets yet. He’s probably sitting at the end of his bed, unaware of what Mingi had left there.

Mingi left the bedroom door. He’d comeback when Yeosang got ready for bed. Then he’ll see the bugs and get startled at the least. Mingi was sure of it.

The sun was setting and Mingi has now unapologetically sat himself right outside of Yeosang’s room after he saw him enter. Mingi was hugging his knees to his chest, waiting to hear Yeosang’s scream.

Mingi felt somewhat guilty at himself for wanting to scare Yeosang so badly. But all of that went away as he heard someone moving around. Mingi held his breath. He’s going to find it. He’s going to find it and scream.

But no scream came. And before Mingi could wait any longer to see if Yeosang even noticed the spiders, Hongjoong told him to get ready for bed. So Mingi would have to wait until morning to see if Yeosang got scared.

Morning came, and once again, Mingi was hovering over Yeosang’s door. Seonghwa didn’t even pay attention to him as he walked by. If there was a way to disown your best friend, Seonghwa would probably do it to Mingi by now.

Yeosang left his room, ignoring Mingi as he walked by. Strange. When Yeosang left the hallway, Mingi went into Yeosang’s room. The first thing he sees, sitting on Yeosang’s nightstand, were the fake spiders.

Mingi collected his spiders, feeling like someone was dragging him into water. He didn’t even bother to try and get an answer about last night from Yeosang. He was pretty sure he just causally moved them because they were uncomfortable.

Time was running out. The 31st was now only two weeks away. Mingi didn’t want to try and scare Yeosang in November, he would feel bad. He had to scare Yeosang. By now, he would even be okay if he was startled.

October 30th. Tomorrow would be Halloween. Technically speaking, Mingi only had tonight and tomorrow to scare Yeosang.

As if Mother Nature herself wanted to prepare for Halloween, she sent a huge thunder storm over. Rain poured over the windows, and Mingi could see flashes of light in the clouds, followed by a boom that seemed to shake the whole house.

Naturally, Mingi was terrified. But tonight, he wouldn’t let it show. He crept into Yeosang’s room. He walked to the windows and drew the curtains close enough to paint the room in black, but also so that lightning could shine through.

Another round of lightning illuminated the room before disappearing with the bang of thunder. Mingi jumped at that, before deciding where to hide.

He wouldn’t fit under the bed. The closet was too full. It would seem that the best choice would be behind the bedroom door.

If there was one time Mingi wished he wasn’t so tall, it would be now. He was so sure that Yeosang would see him before he had a chance to scare him. And if Yeosang does see him coming, then tomorrow he would definitely be on his guard, knowing about Mingi’s plan.

It had to be tonight.

The longer Mingi waited, the more powerful the storm became. The rain pounded rather than poured, and lightning painted part of the room in stark white.

Mingi hoped that he wouldn’t make a sound, despite the storm wanting something different.

As if Yeosang heard Mingi’s prayer, he walked into the room. Mingi held his breath, ready to jump out, but he was too slow.

The second Yeosang opened the door he closed it and went for his bed. He didn’t even turn around. Mingi was just standing, mostly confused by Yeosang.

Then he noticed what Yeosang was doing. Yeosang went under the covers, wrapping himself with the blankets. He lied down in the fetal position, like he was a baby.

Lightning appeared and disappeared. Then a clap of thunder sounded throughout the room. Yeosang shivered.

Was he scared? Mingi never knew that Yeosang was scared of thunder storms. But by the way Yeosang hid himself under the blankets, it was obvious. He was scared.

Mingi wanted to comfort him, but he was also sure that if he went up to him and spoke, he would definitely scare him even more.

But then again, that’s why Mingi was here in the first place, so why didn’t he want to do it now?

As other bang of thunder sounded, Yeosang sniffled. Over the loud rain, Mingi could hear him sniffle even more. He was crying.

Mingi never knew how scared of storms Yeosang was. He had to do something. Mingi reached for the doorknob. As quietly as he could, he opened the door, and closed it. Now standing in front of the door, Mingi spoke.

“Yeosang?” he said.

Yeosang stayed quiet. More thunder rumbled through the room. Yeosang seemed to shrink into the covers.

Mingi took a step closer. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Yeosang didn’t say anything. He still faced the opposite direction of Mingi. Mingi had no idea how he was feeling, other than scared.

As more lightning flashed, Mingi slowly climbed onto the bed. Yeosang turned around, almost hesitantly. Mingi could see his tearful eyes even in the dark. Without saying anything, Mingi just lied down, and wrapped his arms around Yeosang.

Yeosang was frozen for a split second, but then he heard the booming thunder and wrapped his arms around Mingi, pressing himself into him.

They stayed like that in silence until Yeosang’s breathing calmed down. He wiped his wet eyes, before slinging his arm back around Mingi.

Neither of them said much after that. Mingi unconsciously petted his hair like he was a small puppy. After who knows how long, the storm began to calm down, and there was less thunder and lightning.

Yeosang looked up at Mingi in the dark. He wore a small smile on his face.

“Thanks, Mingi,” he said.

“Oh it’s nothing,” Mingi said. “I never knew you were scared of storms.”

Mingi could sense Yeosang blushing slightly. “Yeah,” he said. “I know.”

Mingi hugged Yeosang tighter. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here when there’s a storm.”

Yeosang giggled. “Won’t you also be scared?” he asked. “I know how you’ve been trying to scare me all month.”

Only the rain could be heard. Until Mingi spoke up after probably a year. Or, more accurately, 2 minutes.

“You knew?” he said. Yeosang nodded, even though it was dark.

“Seonghwa told me,” Yeosang said with a small smile.

Mingi didn’t say anything for the rest of the night. Instead, he had another victim he was planning to scare tomorrow.

[mysticalenergy]

Making Up

Sitting outside in the winter sun, I was thinking to myself, ‘This time a week ago, we were happy. We laughed, we joked, we made the poor girl in the lingerie shop blush.’

A lot can change in a week. I’ve hardly seen Tom the last couple of days. He’s gone before I get up, I assume running or working out, then he puts in an appearance very briefly before he either disappears into the office for hours at a time, or goes out. When we do see each other we hardly speak. It’s not that we’re arguing, we just quite literally hardly speak, like strangers living in the same house. I don’t know if it’s him, me, or maybe both.

Diana got an invite to visit with some friends who live out near the mountains and, as she’s probably heading home soon, decided to take them up on their offer and left yesterday morning. I don’t blame her for going. This is my home and even I don’t want to be here at the moment. She’s supposed to come back tomorrow afternoon but, if things are still like this, I think I might tell her to stay longer. I’ve booked myself in to attend a writer’s workshop tomorrow night so she’d be on her own for the night anyway probably.

I hurt. I don’t know how else to put it, I just hurt. I keep asking myself if it’s always been like this when he starts a new job, but I don’t know because I’ve always been working myself. Maybe it’s just me. I’m not used to sitting around doing nothing. Hopefully this afternoon I get the news I’ve been waiting on; I can start to use my leg again after 6 weeks. Tom was supposed to come with me but, I’m hesitant to ask because I don’t know what he’s got going on.

He still has all his papers strewn around the living room and it’s really bothering me. I don’t understand why he can’t take it all in the office, he spends enough time in there. But no, he sits in the living room and spreads everything everywhere knowing it drives me nuts. I think he just enjoys pissing me off.

Heading inside, I put spotify on and went to the kitchen to make a coffee. Looking around I saw the mess and felt the need to tidy it up. Careful not to mix things up, I gathered papers and stacked them neatly, then put all the pens and highlighters in a container and left them next to the papers.

Music is such a wonderful medium and can do so much to change a mood and before long I found myself singing along, loudly, and even attempting to do a bit of a dance on my crutches, laughing at myself and how uncoordinated I am. It’s different when I danced with Tom while on the crutches, he helped hold me up and turn me around.

Still singing, I turned around to go get my coffee and noticed him leaning against the wall, the hint of a smile on his face, “I haven’t heard you sing in so long,” he said so quietly I barely heard him.

“Hey,” I said softly. “Didn’t hear you come in.”

Watching the expression on his face harden, I waited for it. Nodding towards the stereo, he pushed himself off the wall, “I’m not surprised given the volume you’ve got that at. I could hardly hear myself think on the phone.” And, there it was, back to the new normal.

“Sorry,” I apologised. “I’ll turn it down.”

Walking over to the table, he looked down at the piles of papers I’d stacked up. “Didn’t I tell you not to touch them?”

“They were all over the place, I just tidied them up a bit,” I replied.

“Jesus is it too much to ask for things to be left where you put them so you can find what you want when you want it,” he ranted more to himself than at me.

Muttering to myself, “maybe if you didn’t leave your stuff laying around it wouldn’t happen.”

“What the hell are you muttering about?” he said.

“Nothing,” I calmly replied. “Nothing at all.”

“Where’s the highlighter I was using?” he snapped.

Taking a deep breath and counting to five before saying anything, I turned and asked, “Was it the yellow one?”

“No, it was pink with purple spots,” he quipped. “Of course it was the bloody yellow one. You saw me using it.”

“Jesus, alright. Calm down, I was only asking.” I snapped back, leaving him to it and heading to the kitchen.

“What the hell are you doing now?” he asked.

“Getting out of your way,” I answered.

“You can get back over here and help me look for the bloody pen,” he demanded.

“Ok, that’s it,” I stormed. “I get that you’re tired and stressed out but don’t take it out on me. It’s not my fault and it’s in the bloody container on the table with the rest of the pens and highlighters. Open your bloody eyes before you open your mouth.”

He looked down at the container on the table, “Just leave my stuff alone and be a good girl, keep the noise down, I’ve got phone calls to make.”

“You condescending assho...don’t speak to me like I’m a child,” I said, raising my voice. “I said I was sorry. You’re hardly ever home anymore so I thought I was fine.”

Looking at his watch, he went to walk away, “Just keep it down, I’ve got a call to make.”

“Guess, I’ll go on my own then,” I muttered. “Getting used to being on my own.”

Spinning on his heel, he glared at me, “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” he shouted. “It’s not like I’m doing nothing here you know. It’s called work, not that you’d know about that, we don’t all get to sit around and do noth...” he stopped himself from finishing the sentence.

“Go on,” I yelled. “Say it. You don’t get to sit around doing nothing like I do. Well screw you Hiddleston, it’s not my bloody choice to be doing nothing. I’d love to be back at work rather than putting up with you and your shit at the moment.”

Storming out of the room and heading for the office he stopped and turned around, “Don’t forget we’ve got that dinner to attend tomorrow night, hopefully you’ll be in a better mood. Make sure I have a tie to match whatever colour you’re wearing and if I don’t have one, I’d appreciate it if you could get me one,” he almost spat.

“What dinner?” I asked, “you didn’t tell me about any dinner. I’m going out tomorrow night.”

“Cancel your plans," he said. "I told you about the bloody dinner a couple of nights ago. I meant to tell you last week but it slipped my mind. Maybe if you listened occasionally...”

“You didn’t tell me about a dinner and I do listen,” I retorted. “I’ve got plans, go without me.”

“As my wife, you’re expected to be there,” he shouted, opening the office door.

Angry beyond words, I looked him straight in the eye and quietly said, “But I’m not your wife.”

Standing there glaring at each other, breathing heavily, he shook his head, “You can be a real bitch sometimes,” and with that he went into the office and slammed the door shut behind him.

Going to the door, I knocked, “Tom? Tom, can I come in? I’m sorry.”

“I’m on the phone,” came the cold reply.

…

Checking the time, I grabbed the keys and headed for the door. Getting into the car, I drove out of the driveway, tears rolling down my face. Deciding that, come hell or high water we were sorting this out tonight, I drove myself to the surgeon’s office for my check up.

The surgeon checked my knee, moving it this way and that, then gave me the news I was waiting for. I could get rid of the brace and start putting a little bit of weight on it. It meant I’d still need the crutches for a bit longer but I didn’t care, I was allowed to walk. Leaving the surgeons office, my first thought was to call Tom but, considering how we’d left things, I wasn’t sure that was such a great idea. I figured he’d see for himself when I got home anyway.

Arriving home, I saw that his car was gone and, feeling very deflated, I went inside. I fed Bobby and Paddy then wandered around the house not knowing what to do with myself. Unable to settle, I ran myself a bath hoping the warm water might calm me. After 10 minutes, I’d had enough and went to the kitchen to make some chamomile tea. Drinking the tea, I turned on the tv and channel surfed but nothing looked interesting so I turned it off again. I picked up my book and opened it, then sat staring at the words, not really reading them. Turning the laptop on, I thought I might write for a while, but after 3 minutes of sitting with a blank screen I gave up and pushed the laptop away. A couple of minutes later, still staring at the laptop sitting on the coffee table, the screensaver started. My screensaver is set to show a slideshow of all the photos I've got saved. Tom and I smiling at the beach, Tom and I smiling while bushwalking, Tom and I smiling at a café, Tom and I sitting on the floor near the Christmas tree kissing...ok, so this wasn’t a great idea. Not knowing what else to do with myself, I decided to go to bed. No point in staying up, God only knows what time he’d be home.

…

Going into the bedroom, I picked up one of his shirts and put it on. I’d started wearing his shirts simply so I could smell him, this was the 3rd night I’d gone to bed alone. Getting into bed, I tried reading again, but the words were just a jumble. Putting the book down, I looked over to his side of the bed, reached out and dragged his pillow to me and lay there hugging it. Inhaling deeply, I could still smell him. Putting my hand up, I grabbed my phone and typed a message, ‘Hey Boo. I miss you so much xx.’ Reading it twice, I deleted it, put my phone down, then picked the phone up, retyped the message and hit send before I could change my mind.

Turning out the light, I lay for a little while listening to the night noises around the house. The trees rustling in the breeze, a distant bark from somebody’s dog, Paddy or Bobby scratching, the gentle hum of the fridge and the soft ticking of the grandfather clock.

Snuggling down, still hugging Tom’s pillow, my eyes were getting heavy, and my heart felt a bit that way too. I missed him. I missed his stupid jokes, the sexual innuendo, the gentle touches. I missed pissing him off doing things I’m not supposed to, hell, I even missed him groping me at the most inappropriate times. A silent tear fell from the corner of my eye and landed on my pillow. ‘4 months tops’ I said to myself, ‘only 4 months and he’s finished filming.’ This time seemed extra tough, but I knew it would be after spending 6 months together.

I was hovering in that blissful state between consciousness and sleep, aware of the sounds around me but so close to sleep as to not care, when I heard a car. Fighting to stay awake, I listened for the key in the door but I was too far gone and sleep claimed me.

Waking, I looked at the time and discovered I’d only been asleep for half an hour. Rolling over, I settled myself back down on the pillow and was just about to close my eyes when my sleep fuddled brain registered there was a soft glow of light coming into our room. Rolling back over and squinting, I lay quietly listening for any sounds. Not hearing anything, I decided to go see why the light was on.

Barefoot, I made my way quietly down the hallway towards the living room. I knew I’d turned the light out so figured either Diana had come back early, which was highly unlikely, or Tom was home. Entering the living room, I saw him laid back on the chair, earphones in, eyes closed, looking absolutely wiped out.

Walking over to the chair, I slowly reached out and stroked his forehead. Eyes still closed, his hand reached for mine, holding it to his lips, “you should be sleeping love,” he said.

Leaning across the back of the chair, I kissed his forehead, “I’d rather be here with you.” Standing up and putting my hands on his shoulders, I started massaging them. “I’m sorry about this afternoon.”

Opening his eyes and sitting up a bit, he tilted his head back so he was looking at me, “Come here,” he said patting his lap.

Walking around to stand in front of him, he pulled me down in his lap, cradling me in his arms. “You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I should be thanking you for making me realise what a bastard I’ve been this week. I know it’s no excuse but with all the workouts, meetings, phone calls and costume fittings, it’s been hell. Then factor in the time difference issues we’re having, and it’s just been a royal shit show. But none of that is your fault.”

“No, it isn’t my fault and I wish you’d talked to me about what was going on. I’ve felt so isolated and lonely,” I explained. “Then there’s the mess you insisted on leaving behind. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t take it all to the office.”

“I wondered about that myself,” he said, “But I think I figured it out.”

“And what did you come up with?” I asked.

“I didn’t want you to forget I was here. Didn’t want you to forget why I wasn’t with you all the time. I know I don’t usually worry so much, but this time, with your leg,” he reached down and touched my leg, “you didn’t have work to keep you occupied and I felt guilty that I’d left you when you still needed me...not that you’ve ever needed me, but you know what I mean. I’ve missed hanging out with you, missed you, missed us. I guess it all just got to me and rather than talk about it, I bottled it all up.”

“I shouldn’t have let it go so....”

“Oh my God, your leg!” he exclaimed. “The brace, shit, I forgot. I’m so sorry.” Pulling me close to him, he buried his face in my hair.

“Do you want to know what the surgeon said?” I asked softly.

Keeping his face buried in my hair, he nodded.

“No brace, I can put some weight on it, but still need to use the crutches for a while until my muscles get used to being used again,” I told him.

He didn’t speak, merely nodded again and gave me a squeeze.

“Tom, what’s wrong? Look at me,” I said.

Slowly he looked up at me, tears in his eyes.

Wiping them away, I whispered, “Why are you crying?”

“Because I love you so much. Because I was so damn wrapped up in my own world, I lost sight of what’s important. You. You’re more important than any of this. Your crack about not being my wife hit a nerve and made me stop and think. I made a few calls this evening and said the endless 18 hour days have to stop. I don’t mind doing a few, but not day after day after day. I also owe you an apology about the dinner. I realised I hadn’t told you about it, I only thought I had. And, even though you’re not my wife as you so... lovingly... pointed out, and we will discuss it again at some point no matter how much you don’t want too, we do have to go. Now, how about you give me a kiss and let me show you how sorry I am.”

[obsessive-fics]

Title: Creature of the Night

Summary: Phil is the monster under Dan’s bed

Rating: T

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: @obsessivelymoody  asked me what the weirdest AU I’d ever come up with was, so I wrote it

I couldn't finish this in time for the Halloween flash fest due to a family emergency, but I still really wanted to post it, so here it is! Happy Halloween everyone

[Read on Ao3]

“I’m telling you, there’s a monster under there!” Aiden Insisted for about the tenth time that night. Their parents were at a Halloween party, meaning Dan was left to babysit, and Aiden had gotten out of bed at least three times, claiming there was a monster under there.

“And I’m telling you monsters aren’t real,” Dan said for the millionth time that night barely looking up from the horror game he was playing. Not only had his parents uprooted his entire life, choosing to move away almost two months into term, they’d left him on babysitting duty so he couldn’t even sit in his room in the dark listening to music and being mad at them. No, instead he was trying to look over Aiden’s head to kill the zombie that was coming towards him.

“Dan! Please, I’m scared,” Aiden insisted, his voice wobbling, and since he wasn’t completely heartless, Dan sighed and put the controller down.

“I’ll tell you what. The monster’s under your bed, right?” he asked, and Aiden nodded.

“You sleep in my room, and I’ll stay in your room and catch the monster,” Dan told him, and he could see the relief wash over his little brother’s face, followed by cold determination.

“We have to set a trap,” Aiden said, nodding seriously.

“We… What?”

“Monsters can’t be out when the lights on, we can use that,” Aiden continued, dragging Dan towards the kitchen.

And that was how Dan found himself laying in Aiden’s entirely too small bed, an elaborate trap rigged up around him.

“When he jumps up, hit the switch and the lights will turn on. He can’t be in the light really long, so just get him to agree to go away, and then hit the switch again,” Aiden explained, and Dan nodded, coming to the realization that his brother was way smarter than he’d been at ten years old.

“Okay, got it. Now come on, into bed, or Mum and Dad won’t let you go trick or treating,” Dan replied, putting the switch down.

“I can’t move, the monster’s glued me to the floor,” Aiden said, holding his arms up.

“Alright, hop on.” Dan turned around, squatting onto the floor and Aiden hopped up onto his back. He ran down the hall to his bedroom, and dropped Aiden down on the bed, who laughed delightedly.

“Okay, I’m serious now. Time for bed,” Dan told him, again.

“I’m already sleeping,” Aiden said, laying down and closing his eyes. This lasted for about a second before he sat back up again. “Hey, Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for doing this for me,” Aiden told him, and Dan would never admit this, but he’d pretend to trap a hundred monsters for that kid.

“Anytime. Good night,” he said, turning off the light.

“Good night.”

Dan had been laying in Aiden’s bed for about an hour now, and he couldn’t sleep at all. Obviously, there wasn’t a monster in there, that would be ridiculous. Still, something was making him feel uneasy. Maybe he just needed a drink. He was about to get up to get a glass of water when the bed started shaking.

“Boo! Wait, you’re not Aiden.”

“What the fuck!” Dan shouted, sitting up. There was a… Guy? Creature? Sitting at the end of the bed- everything about him was blue, from his scaly skin, to the eyes curiously peering at Dan, who was trying very, very hard not to faint.

“I’m dreaming. This is just a nightmare. Fucking Nightcrawler isn’t actually in my bed right now,” Dan muttered to himself, looking around frantically. Where the hell was that switch?

“Of course Nightcrawler isn’t here, the x-men aren’t real,” the creature said, looking confused.

“I’ve lost my fucking mind,” Dan said, finally finding the switch.

“No! Please don’t turn the light on,” the creature begged, and he looked so scared, Dan hesitated.

“Who are you, what do you want, and why is my brother so scared of you?” Dan asked, holding the switch up threateningly.

“I’m Phil- I don’t really know how to answer those last two questions, this is just my job,” the creature- Phil explained, holding his legs up to his chest.

“It’s… Your job? Like you do this for a living?” Dan asked, putting the switch down. Whatever this guy was, he seemed pretty harmless. Actually, it seemed like he didn’t want to be there at all.

“Yeah. We each get assigned a child and we’re supposed to scare them. I’m not very good at it though, Aiden is my third reassignment,” Phil explained.

“You get assigned children to… Like Monsters Inc?”

“Kind of? We don’t need screams. But we’re monsters- if we’re not doing monster things, we stop existing.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, my brother is completely terrified of you,”  Dan told him, shrugging. He had no idea why he was trying to be comforting, Phil just looked so dejected about the whole thing.

“Really?” Phil asked, looking up at him hopefully.

“Yeah, why do you think I’m here trying to trap you?”

“That’s great! Well, I’m sorry about your brother, but I really needed this one to work out. Maybe everyone will be a little nicer once they find out I've actually scared someone."

“They aren’t… Nice to you where you come from?”

“I mean, some of the others are okay. But no one wants to be friends with a monster that’s not scary,”  Phil explained, looking down sadly.

“Oh. Well… I’ll be your friend. I guess,” Dan offered, after a minute. He didn't know what it was about Phil that made him instantly want to fix whatever was making him sad.

“Really?” Phil asked excitedly. 

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen tonight. I’m Dan.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Dan, 17 years old, older brother, potential threat,” Phil recited.

“I’m sorry, what?” Dan asked, confused. He was about as threatening as a teletubby.

“We have to watch out for older siblings. You’re more likely to believe the child, and unlike parents, you can see us,” Phil explained, and Dan nodded, because sure, why not? Apparently there was a whole monster community keeping tabs on him in case he decided to wage war on them or something.

“Well, since we’re friends now, do you wanna see something cool? I’ve never had a friend before,” Phil continued, completely oblivious to the huge crisis Dan was having right now.

“Do I have to?”

“No, but I’m here until morning. So I could wake Aiden up, or we could-”

“Okay fine, let’s go. The last thing I need is Aiden still being up when my parents get home,” Dan said, standing up.

“Take my hand,” Phil instructed. Once they were standing next to each other, Dan noticed that they were about the same height, which either meant monsters were of way more average height than he thought, or he really was freakishly tall. He also noticed Phil had a tail, because you know, of course he did.

“Why?” Dan asked, but he obliged anyway. This was either a very, very vivid dream, or he’d completely lost his mind. Either way, nothing to do but go for it.

“So I can bring you into our world. Ready?” Phil asked, bending down to the floor, pulling, Dan down with him.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Phil crawled down under the bed, and then took Dan’s hand again. The next thing he knew, Dan was falling.

“Fun, right?” Phil asked as they continued to plummet to God knows where. Dan, who was putting all of his energy into not screaming, stayed silent. Finally, after it felt like they’d been falling for ages, they landed on a mattress in what looked pretty much like a regular town.

“So, this is your world? I was picturing more Halloweentown,” Dan said, standing up, and looking around.

“You watch a lot of movies,” Phil observed, climbing down of the mattress. Dan shrugged, following suit.

“You’re the one catching all my references,” he pointed out. Phil took his hand again, and started walking.

“That’s where everyone plays Monster Ball,” he said, gesturing to what looked like a baseball field. “I’m actually banned from playing. Too many injuries.”

“Yours or others?” Dan asked, and Phil shrugged.

“Both,” he said after a minute, which made Dan laugh. He realized Phil was staring at him intently, and he felt his face start to heat up.

“What?”

“Nothing. I like your laugh. I don’t get to hear laughter a lot,” Phil admitted, looking down, and for someone reason that made Dan really said. He squeezed Phil’s hand in an attempt to be comforting, but that just alerted him to the fact they were holding hands again.

“Uh, Phil?”

“Hmm?” Phil asked distractedly.

“Why are we holding hands now?”

“Oh.. Yeah, I thought it’d be easier to stay together this way. Do you mind?”

“Uh, no, I guess not,” Dan said, and he really needed to get out more. He felt twelve years old again- holding hands with someone didn’t mean anything. It probably meant even less to monsters, and even if it didn’t, why would he want it to mean something?

“Are you okay? Your heart rate’s gone up,” Phil asked, looking over at him.

“You can hear my heartbeat. Of course you can.”

“It helps to know if someone’s scared. Not all kids scream.”

“Right. Of course. How long have you been doing this anyway?” Dan asked as they walked.

“Not long. I’m only a hundred and eighteen,” Phil told him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Right. Only,” Dan replied, nodding slowly. This was shaping up to be the weirdest night of his life. He was in some sort of alternate dimension, with no way to get home, at the mercy of (an admittedly sweet and endearing), but still. A monster.

“Okay! This way,” Phil said, dragging him along.

“Where exactly are we going?” Dan wondered when they got to a ladder.

“This is where I live- well, it’s where I got banished to. Between the monster ball, and the whole not being scary thing, the others don’t really want to be around me,” Phil explained, starting to climb.

“Exactly how high up does this go?” Dan asked, after it felt like they’d been climbing forever.

“Just a few more steps,” Phil told him, and before long, they were coming up on what was basically just a room. There was a bed, and a huge window, and a huge pile of plushies in the corner.

“You just. Stay up here, by yourself?” Dan asked, looking around. This was depressing as fuck.

“Well, yeah. It’s not much, but this is what I wanted to show you,” Phil answered, walking towards the window. Dan followed him, and looked out at the most incredible view. There were ladders everywhere, stretching up into an almost velvet blue sky. There were fairy lights everywhere, connecting all kinds of different sized buildings.

“So this is where all the monsters live?” Dan asked, still looking out at the view in awe.

“Yup. Those ladders go up to every human child’s bedroom in the entire world,” Phil told him, looking out the window too.

“Wow. This place is insane. How come we haven’t seen anyone?”

“Everyone’s out scaring.”

“Oh. So, what do you wanna do?”

“I didn’t really have a plan beyond this. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to,” Phil admitted, looking over at him. Dan thought about his new school where he didn’t know anyone, and ate lunch alone in the library.

“Come home with me,” he said, before he could think better of it.

“What?”

“Well, you don’t have any friends, I don’t either. But I do have lots of video games.”

“Really, you want to spend more time with me? On purpose?” Phil asked, and he sounded so surprised, Dan had to laugh.

“Yeah. I mean, you have to promise to leave Aiden alone. But other than that, I don’t see why we can’t hangout.”

“Okay,” Phil agreed, and it took Dan a second to realize he was actually glowing.

“Sorry. It happens when I’m happy,” Phil explained sheepishly.

“You’re literally adorable. You’re a Disney character- no wonder you can’t scare anyone,” Dan answered laughing. Phil tried briefly to look offended, but ended up bursting into laughter too.

“Shut up.”

And with that, Dan let Phil lead him back up the ladder to Aiden’s bedroom. It was a little awkward at first, standing in his little brother’s bedroom with a monster he’d barely known for a few hours, but then Phil went to pick up one of Aiden’s toys from the window sill, tripped on a different toy and fell down. Dan laughed, and the tension dissipated.

“Come on, I’ll teach you how to play this game called Overcooked,” Dan told him leading him into the living room.

As it turned out, Phil was a really fast learner. And aside from some bickering while they figured out how everything worked, the two of them made a really good team. They played several more rounds, Dan making fun of Phil whenever he forgot how to do something, or messed something up.

“Oh no,” Phil said suddenly, putting his controller down.

“It’s fine, just throw that plate out, we’ve still got time,” Dan said, but Phil didn’t move.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“The sun. It’s rising,” Phil told him, looking worried. Smoke was already starting to radiate off of him, and this living room had a lot of windows.

“Oh! Well, let’s get you back then, before you… Melt?” Dan asked, standing up.

“Something like that, yeah.”

They managed to make it to the bedroom with minimal sun exposure, and Dan found himself feeling an unexpected sense of loss.

“Will you be back tomorrow night?” he asked, looking down. This night had been the most fun he’d had since moving to this awful town, and he kind of didn’t want it to end.

“Of course,” Phil told him, and then he was gone, leaving Dan feeling completely, and utterly alone.

Phil did come back the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Dan eventually convinced Aiden he’d gotten rid of the monster, and Aiden returned to sleeping in his own room. Dan took his video game system out of the living room and hooked it up in the bedroom, so that when the sun started to come up in the morning, he could just close the blinds and it wouldn’t affect Phil too much. They hung out, playing video games or watching movies or tv every night. Phil was obsessed with anything about American High School, especially Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As it turned out, there was no concept of high school in his universe, and he thought it was fascinating. Dan was also pretty sure he had a thing for Buffy, but he just let him have it.

Phil was a fascinating person to be around- Dan had to double his candy and snack supply, because he ate almost all of it every time he visited. He didn’t mind at all though. He started to look forward to when Phil would arrive, sitting on the floor next to his bed waiting for him. He also started to notice little things, like how tactile Phil was- he was always finding ways into Dan’s space, holding his hand while they walked, shoving him when he beat him at Mario Kart, resting his head on his shoulder while they watched movies. But once again, Dan didn’t mind at all.

“So, do monsters feel human emotions?” Dan asked one night. They were laying on his bed, after marathoning an anime Dan insisted Phil had to see if they were going to keep being friends.

“Like what?” Phil wondered, looking over at him.

“You know, like anger, or hunger, or…” Dan trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. “Nevermind. I don’t know why I asked.”

“We feel everything humans do. Not guilt, usually. That’d make it hard to be, well, us, but other than that, we feel everything.”

“Everything?” Dan asked, his voice suddenly small. Phil nodded, reaching up to push Dan’s hair out of his face.

“Everything,” he repeated, and for a while, they just lay there, staring at each other. There was so much Dan wanted to ask, wanted to say, but he didn’t even know where to start. They were so close, Dan could see that Phil’s eyes were slit, like a cat’s, and there were flecks of green and gold in them.

“I’m really glad I met you,” Phil told him seriously, and it felt like the world had slowed to a stop- nothing else existed except them, and this moment.

“I’m really glad I met you too,” Dan replied, and then, once he couldn’t take it anymore, he did maybe the most insane thing he’d ever done, and leaned in.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, once their faces were barely inches apart.

“Monsters also feel impatience, you know,” Phil whispered back.

“What?” Dan started to ask, but Phil kissed him, cutting him off. It was soft and perfect, and Phil’s hands felt cold on his face, and he wanted to keep doing this forever.

“You were taking too long,” Phil said softly, pulling away.

“Then why’d you stop so soon?” Dan asked, and Phil laughed.

“You’re glowing again,” Dan pointed out, smiling at him fondly.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, and then they were kissing again.

All too soon, the sun started to come up, and they had to say goodbye.

“You could always come with me, you know,” Phil told him, pulling on one of Dan’s hoodies. He’d taken to leaving with an item of Dan’s clothing whenever he had to go back home.

“Now I have to come back,” he’d say, but Dan knew he just liked to feel close when he was away.

“I can’t. I have to be here. For my brother, and my parents. Plus, I do still have to go to school,” Dan pointed out, sitting up.

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“You’d better.”

And then, after a quick kiss goodbye, Phil was gone.

After that, everything was pretty much perfect. Dan was always exhausted during the day, but it was worth it for all the time he got to spend with Phil at night. Unfortunately, things couldn’t stay this way forever.

“Something bad is happening,” Phil said one night, pacing the length of Dan’s bedroom.

“You mean, you being here still fully clothed?” Dan asked, watching him.

“I’m serious. Look at my hands,” Phil said, stopping, and holding them up.

“They’re… Not blue. What’s going on?” Dan replied, growing worried.

“I didn’t want to tell you. I thought maybe it was a just a myth, and I didn’t want to stop seeing you. I don’t want to stop seeing you, I just…” Phil trailed off, looking down.

“What? What is it, you’re scaring me,” Dan asked frantically, standing up.

“That’s just it. I’m not. I’m not scaring anyone,” Phil explained dejectedly. Dan vaguely remembered Phil saying something about this the night they met- having to do monster things, or he’d cease to exist.

“There’s gotta be something we can do, another way… Let’s go,” Dan said, bending down in front of the bed.

“Dan? I don’t want to go back, I just want to stay here with you as long as I can,” Phil replied, but Dan shook his head vehemently.

“Well, I don’t want my boyfriend to suddenly stop existing. There’s gotta be someone who can help.”

“Boyfriend?” Phil asked softly, starting to glow.

“Not the time.”

“Right. Sorry. Well there’s only one person who could help,” Phil said, bending down next to him.

“Let’s go then.”

They made the descent down into Phil’s world, and Dan immediately jumped up off the mattress and started walking, dragging Phil along with him.

“We’re going the wrong way,” Phil pointed out after a minute.

“Right, sorry. You lead.”

Phil lead him to what was basically a castle in the center of all of the other buildings.

“This is where the Boss lives,” Phil explained, as they walked in. A few bored looking guards looked up at them as they passed, but didn’t stop them. They finally came to a throne room, where an actual dragon was sitting. Upon seeing them, a huge puff of red smoke appeared, and then there was a woman standing in front of them, still completely red. Dan was going to faint.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, Boss, but we need your help,” Phil said, and she laughed. Loudly.

“And why should I spare you for being completely incompetent and alerting a human to our existence?” she asked cooly, once she calmed down.

“Please, Ms. Boss… Person. Please don’t take Phil from me. He’s my best friend,” Dan pleaded, and she turned her green, cat-like eyes on him.

“How sweet. You’ve got a pet,” she said to Phil, eyeing Dan up and down with calculating disinterest.

“Is there anything we can do?” Phil asked desperately, and she waved a hand dismissively.

“Oh, calm down. You’re not going to cease to exist, that’s just something I tell everyone to keep this place running. If you truly want to be with this human, you can stay in the human world. You will eventually turn human, but it’s going to be a long and painful process. I don’t actually care what you do, but you can never return here. Now go.”

They nodded, and turned to go on their way. Once they were in the hallway, Dan pulled Phil to the side.

“Is this what you want?” he asked, searching his face urgently.

“I want to be with you,” Phil said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I know. But you can’t make this decision like that. Do you really want to go through this transformation, and never be able to return home? Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”

“I have a new home now. And besides, I never fit in here anyway,” Phil told him, and Dan nodded.

“Okay. Okay then, let’s go home,” he said starting to walk, when he felt a tug on his wrist. He turned to ask Phil what was wrong when he pulled Dan into him and kissed him deeply.

“Thank you. For everything,” he told him seriously, and if he was a monster, Dan probably would’ve started glowing.

“Of course. Now let’s go home.”

[doomedhowell]

The Punk And The Pianist

Summary: Dan is a struggling college student whose dream is to be a pianist, but he doesn’t think it’s a “practical” job. Phil is a punk works as a bartender at a small bar. Dan decides to try playing the piano for open mic night at the bar, Phil sees him blah blah blah they fall for each other blah blah happy end.

Trigger Warnings: swearing, g-note (as suggested by my artist :D)

Word Count: 5,259

here is the art link!

A/N: I’m so excited to post my first phandomreversebang fic! I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Dan had always wanted to be a professional piano player. It’s been his dream ever since he was a little kid. Well, ever since his parents had first introduced him to the piano, at least. He started piano lessons early at five years old and continued taking them until he was a teenager.

Now Dan is nineteen years old and currently in college and he’s working hard to get a major in music. His dream still is to be a professional pianist but he’s quickly starting to think that maybe this isn’t the best job if he really wants to make it in the real world. There’s so many things that he’s starting to worry about on top of struggling to get through college, and it’s just his first year.

Sure, he loves playing the piano, but how is that supposed to pay the rent? Dan’s going to be out of college in a couple of years and he’ll need to find a job where he’ll make money and be able to rent an apartment. He doesn’t even need a fancy house or anything. He just wants to survive.

It’s the weekend when Dan decides to visit his friend, Louise. She goes to the same college as him and they usually hang out together. Louise has been busy this week with school work so Dan didn’t get to see her as much so he’s taking this opportunity while he can. Louise is a great listener and gives good advice and Dan has a lot that he needs help with at the moment so maybe Louise will be able to help him.

“Hey Dan!” Louise greets cheerfully as she allows Dan into her dorm after giving him a warm hug.

“Hey,” Dan smiles after walking into her dorm. He glances around a second before looking over at her.

“What’s up?” Louise asks softly as she shuts the door. She looks over at Dan.

“I need help with something,” Dan says. They walk over and sit down on Louise’s bed. “I’m confused…”

“Okay. Talk to me. What are you confused about?” Louise asks as she leans back against her pillows.

“It’s just…” Dan sighs and shakes his head. “I’m not sure if I chose the right career path, you know? Obviously I love playing the piano but how do I know if that’s going to help me in the future with things like money, and a job? I don’t even know where to start and I’m really struggling.”

“Dan, I know you. You love playing the piano. Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to push it aside. You haven’t even finished college yet and that’s the major you’re going for. Maybe you’re unsure because of all the work college has you doing. You haven’t had much time to play the piano really,” Louise says.

“Oh…” Dan blinks a few times. “Yeah. I didn’t even think about that.’

“You know… I know of this bar that does open mic nights and they allow piano players. It’s a small bar but it’s quite popular. Maybe you should try it? Maybe someone will recognize your talent,” Louise smiles. “You just need to get back into the groove again with your piano playing.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Louise. I knew you’d be able to help me,” Dan reaches over and hugs her.

“Oh, what can I say?” Louise laughs as she hugs Dan back. “I know you’ve been struggling lately. You’re my best friend and I just want to see you happy and do what you want in life, you know?”

“Thanks,” Dan says as he pulls away. “Text me the name of that bar later. I’d like to give it a shot. I mean, I’ve never performed in front of an actual crowd before but… I think it’d be okay.”

“Yes, it will be. And I’ll even go so you have a friend in the audience,” Louise grins.

Dan couldn’t believe Louise had actually convinced him to perform at an open mic night in a bar. In front of an audience. Dan has never performed in front an audience before so this was very nerve wracking. The only people he ever performed in front of is his piano teacher, his family and a few of his friends.

But one thing Dan was excited about was being able to play the piano again freely.

And maybe, Louise will be right. Maybe this will help him stop second guessing himself about the piano.

But now Dan only has until Sunday night to think of a song and practice it as much as he can because he definitely does not to want to mess up his first time playing in front of an audience.

Dan quickly decides later on that same Friday night that he wants to play Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance for his performance. It’s one song that he already knows how to play really well on the piano and he also thinks that a lot of people, hopefully, will know the song which might help him with well first impressions with the audience. Dan is so worried about how the audience will react.

“Are you nervous about performing tonight?” Louise asks as she stands with Dan by his mirror. It was finally Sunday night and Dan would be leaving with Louise in about a half an hour. He wants to get there early just in case something happens to go wrong. “What am I saying? Of course you are.”

Dan chuckles. “Yeah, I am nervous but… also a little bit excited,” he says, fixing his hair.

“Good, you should be excited. This is your first live performance in front of an audience,” Louise smiles.

“I’m just worried. What if something happens and I totally screw up? I don’t want them to hate me,”

“Dan, it’s okay if you screw up. You’re human. Everybody makes mistakes,” Louise assures him.

“But my biggest fear is getting booed,” Dan pouts. “I just want everything to go well tonight.”

“And they will go well tonight,” Louise sighs and shakes her head. “You just have to have positive thoughts and try not to worry about what could possibly go wrong. Because, if you do think about that… then something most likely will go wrong and we don’t want that. Is that good advice?” She giggles.

Dan rolls his eyes playfully. “Yeah, I get what you’re trying to say. Positive thoughts,” he says.

“Good boy,” Louise says. She takes a step back and looks over Dan’s outfit. “Wow. Perfect outfit choice. You look nice but you’re not trying too hard. You should be good to go.”

“Can’t I practice one more time before we go?” Dan begs.

“Dan, you’ve practice like fifty times this weekend since I told you about the gig,” Louise says.

“Because I’m nervous and I don’t want to fuck anything up,” Dan whines.

“You’re not going to uh… you know, do that,” Louise says, stopping herself from swearing. “You’re a very good piano player and I just wish that you would see that. You gotta have a little faith in yourself, Daniel.”

Once Dan is finally ready to go, they leave Dan’s dorm and call an Uber to the bar where Dan will be playing at for the night. He was starting to get more nervous once they actually reached the building.

“Come on Dan,” Louise says as she gently leads Dan into the bar. “You gotta check in with the manager and let him know what time you’ll be playing so he can introduce you.”

Dan nods. “Thanks. I’ll see you later?” He says as he looks up at Louise.

“You betcha. You’ll see me in the audience when you start playing,” Louise grins at him and then she reaches over and gives Dan a reassuring and comforting hug before walking away.

Dan takes a deep breath and then he walks over to the manager of the bar.

“How can I help you?” The manager asks as he looks up at Dan.

“I’m Dan. I’m supposed to be playing at 8:30pm,” Dan says, fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.

“Ah, yes. You’re on the list. Follow me backstage and we’ll help you get ready,”

“Oh, thank you so much-” Dan smiles and follows the manager to where the backstage is. Dan had no idea the bar would be so fancy and organized. He can understand why it’s so popular. Louise loves it here.

“Angelica, this is Dan. He’s the piano player and he plays at 8:30. Help him get ready,”

“Don’t worry about it Scott, I’ve got it from here,” the lady who ‘Scott’ had taken Dan too backstage.

Scott looks to Angelica and smiles before giving her a nod. “Yes, of course. You already know where to find me if you need me but try not to need me,” he says before turning around and leaving the backstage area.

Angelica chuckles and looks over at Dan, looking him up and down. “Piano player, huh?”

Dan blushes and slowly nods. “Um, yeah…”

“Cool. We don’t get piano players here very often but that’s okay. The crowd loves piano players,”

“Really?” Dan asks, a little surprised. “I would think they like bands and singers. Hardcore stuff.”

“Oh, they do. Bands are crowd favorites. But, it’s always nice for a little change, right?” Angelica smiles.

Dan is surprised when he finds out that they have a piano backstage and he’s actually able to practice for about ten minutes before he goes on stage, and he only messed up once out of the two times he had played through the song which makes him feel a lot better. It was only a minor mistake. Being able to play before the show really helped him out and made him feel a lot more confident.

“Our first performer tonight is Dan Howell, and he will be playing the piano. Please give a warm welcome-”

Dan takes a deep breath before walking on stage, and luckily people are clapping and cheering.

Dan nervously walks over to the piano and sits down, trying his absolute best not to focus on the fact that there are so many eyes on him right now. “Hi, um, I’m Dan-” He says shyly. “And I’m going to be playing Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance.” He smiles a little when he hears people cheer, so obviously his choice of song was a good choice. He knew it would be a crowd pleaser.

Dan glances up quickly and smiles when he instantly spots Louise in the back, cheering for him just like she said she would. At least he had one supporter in the audience, even if he does mess up.

Dan takes a deep and gently places his finger on the piano and finally begins playing.

The room is silent as Dan plays. Luckily he’s too into the music that he doesn’t really pay attention to the audience. He doesn’t know if they like him or not but he’s just enjoying himself.

Dan looks up once he’s finished playing the piano and he blushes when he sees people cheering. He starts standing up to take a bow but he instantly stops when people start chanting for him to do an encore.

“Encore! Encore! Encore!”

Dan looks around for help and he finally spots the manager, who gives him a nod of approval.

“Thank you,” Dan says into the microphone. “I, um… I don’t have a second song choice. Any requests?”

And so Dan ends up playing three extra songs.

The crowd loves him, or so Dan assumes with all the cheering and the encore chants happening, and Dan almost wants to cry tears of joy once he’s off stage but he manages to force the tears to stay behind.

“Dan, that was amazing!” Louise yells excitedly as she runs up to her best friend, hugging him tightly.

Dan laughs as he hugs her back. “Thanks. That felt amazing! Did the audience love it?”

“Of course. Didn’t you hear them cheering? You were playing the piano and people were still singing along to all of the songs that you were playing. Someone is definitely discovering you after tonight,” Louise grins.

“Well, I’m feeling pumped right now… and I need a drink. Stat,” Dan says.

Louise laughs. “Alright, fine. Go get yourself a drink,” she gently pushes Dan towards the bar.

Dan giggles and then he walks up to the bar, and luckily it isn’t too busy so Dan doesn’t have to wait long. He sits on one of the stools, and let’s out a sigh. He’s exhausted after that set, but he’s also happy. He definitely didn’t expect tonight to go as well as it did but he’s definitely not complaining about it.

“What can I get for ya?”

Dan looks up and stares at the menu. “Uh, I’m not sure… beer, I guess?”

“Hey, aren’t you the guy who just performed, with the piano?”

Dan blushes and slowly nods. “Yes, that’s me,” he replies shyly before looking up at the bartender.

“Wow. You are very talented. I’m not much into piano music but the songs you were chose were amazing,” the bartender smiles at Dan. “Are you a professional piano player? Because if not, you should be.”

“I’m aiming to be but I’m not sure,” Dan shrugs. “I’m conflicted if that’s what I really want to do, y’know? But, that’s why I did this gig because I thought it would help. Oh, I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”

“Wait, you’re actually conflicted? I wouldn’t be if I were as talented as you,” he scoffs and shakes his head.

“Yeah but, is being a piano player really going to help me survive in the real world?” Dan asks.

“You can’t think about that stuff dude,” the bartender says as he hands Dan a can of beer. “You just gotta… do whatever your heart wants. I guess. Who cares about the real world? Whatever that means.”

“Wow. Well, um… thank you, for the advice,” Dan blushes and takes a drink of the beer.

“My name’s Phil. Your name is… Dan? Dan Howell?”

“Yeah,” Dan smiles and nods. “I didn’t expect someone covered in tattoos to like piano music.”

“No, I don’t really. I just loved the songs that you played. I mean… My Chemical Romance? Hell yeah,”

Dan laughs. “Yeah, I thought that would be a good song to play since that’s a well known song to play on the piano. I’ve been playing that song on piano for years anyways so I knew I wouldn’t mess it up.”

“And then you went and played Muse. Do you know how much I love Muse?” Phil asks.

Dan gasps with excitement. “Muse is my favorite band!” He exclaims. “Wow. You like MCR and Muse?”

“Yeah. I’ve never met a piano player who loves pop-punk music,” Phil chuckles. “That’s interesting.”

“Oh, please. I like all types of music. I love pop music, rap. I even like classical music!” Dan exclaims as he smiles proudly. Dan has always been open to all types of different music types and that’s what he’s most proud of. It definitely comes in handy with being a piano player because he gets to try out playing different genres on the piano. Most piano players stick to classical but Dan doesn’t like that.

“So, you pretty much listen to everything? I love that,” Phil smiles back at him.

Dan’s heart flutters as he stares at Phil. He’s never seen such bright blue eyes before. And that smile.

And that’s how Dan ended up making out with an attractive bartender in the pub’s bathroom.

Dan moans as Phil roams his hands all over Dan’s body before kissing and sucking on Dan’s neck until he leaves a hickey but Dan couldn’t care less about the marks.

Phil finally pulls away and stares at Dan. “Do you wanna take this to my place?” He whispers.

A smile forms on Dan’s face and he nods quickly. “Yes,” he breathes.

Dan couldn’t be more grateful that they ended up going to Phil’s house rather than his dorm because that would have been embarrassing. He doesn’t have a roommate but he doesn’t want Phil to see his embarrassingly messy dorm. Phil doesn’t even know that he’s in college.

Going to Phil’s place for the night was the most fun Dan’s had since he started college. He’s been in college for a year now but hasn’t had any time to go out and hook up with boys. But honestly, Dan also hasn’t really been thinking about boys or relationships. He just wants to get through college with no drama.

However, it’s the morning when Dan wakes up completely alone, which he was not expecting.

Dan slowly pushes himself up and looks around. He’s still at Phil’s house. This isn’t his college dorm.

“Phil?” Dan calls. His heart is pounding against his chest. He’s nervous. Did Phil really leave him like this? He thought he and Phil could have had something but apparently he’s the only one who thought that.

Dan takes a deep breath before swinging his legs over the bed. He bends down and grabs his clothes. He quietly gets dressed and grabs his phone before heading out of Phil’s room. He looks around but still doesn’t hear or see any sign of Phil. Dan sighs sadly before walking down the stairs.

Instead of going to his room, Dan goes straight to Louise’s room. He wants to cry but he also doesn’t.

This wouldn’t be the first time Dan has cried over a boy. He hasn’t been in a relationship in over four years, and his last relationship ended badly when Dan caught his boyfriend cheating on him. He cried for days.

Dan knocks on the door repeatedly until Louise finally answers the door.

“What? What is it?” Louise looks up and blinks a few times when she sees Dan standing there. “Dan? What are you doing here? And where did you go last night? Is that a hickey on your neck?”

Dan sniffs, trying his best to keep the tears in his eyes. “I-I made a mistake. I need your h-help,” he says.

“Oh dear,” Louise gently grabs Dan and pulls him into the room. “What happened?”

“I… I met a guy and h-he was really nice about me playing the piano. We made out in the ba-bathroom and then he took me to his place and we had sex. I really liked him but I guess he didn’t the feel the same ab-about me,” Dan sobs, unable to hold in the tears any longer. “Why does this keep happening to me?”

“Dan,” Louise frowns and pulls him into a hug. She comforts him for a few moments before finally pulling away from the hug. “It’s going to be okay. You’ll find someone better than that douche.”

“But he was really nice!” Dan cries. “He liked Muse! And MCR!”

“And I’m sure there are other plenty of nice boys who like Muse and MCR and will love you,” Louise says. “I know it hurts but you just gotta move on and find someone new. Trust me, I’ve been there before.”

Dan sighs in defeat and then he looks up at Louise. “C-Can you help me cover this please?” He asks as he points to the hickey on his neck. “I don’t want it to be there anymore.”

“Of course darling. Let’s go to the bathroom,” Louise leads Dan to the bathroom.

Within minutes, Louise manages to hide the hickey on Dan’s neck and Dan couldn’t be more grateful.

“I never want to date another boy again,” Dan mumbles as he hops off the bathroom counter.

“Aw, come on. Don’t say that. There is someone out there for you Dan,” Louise says softly.

“But where?” Dan asks, stomping his feet. “I’m twenty years old! I don’t wanna be lonely forever.”

“Exactly. You’re twenty years old, Dan. You have plenty of time left to look for love,” Louise says. “Maybe you should just focus on college and the piano. You shouldn’t really worry about that stuff anyways.”

“I was just lonely, I guess. I wanted to have some fun and I thought that he was really nice. He seemed like he actually cared. You should have seen him, Lou. He had all these tattoos and he was a total punk,” Dan says before letting out a sad sigh. “Well, thanks for helping me clean up. I’m a mess right now.”

Louise chuckles. “You’re not a mess, you’re just a little heartbroken… and you have every right to be,”

“Well… I think I’m going to go back to my dorm and watch some anime to make me feel better,”

“Oh Dan,” Louse sighs and shakes her head. “You’re going to be just fine.”

Dan finally says goodbye to Louise and heads back to his dorm.

The next week, Dan pretty much just stayed cooped up in his dorm room, only going out when he absolutely needed to or whenever he went to his classes.

Dan doesn’t know why he’s so hung up on this guy that he just met and only spent one night with. They hardly talked to each other. All Dan knows about him is that he has a lot of tattoos and likes the same music as him. He just seemed really nice. Maybe Dan just a little bit of hope that there could be something between the two of them. It had been a long time since he’s dated anyone, after all.

It’s Friday when Louise finally marches into Dan’s dorm.

“Listen up. We’re going out. I want you to get dressed and clean up,” she demands, yet her voice is soft.

Dan blinks a few times as he looks up from his laptop, looking up at Louise. “What do you mean?”

“Dan, you’ve been cooped up in your dorm all bloody week! You haven’t even been answering any of my texts which is so unlike you. I’ve been worried sick about you,” Louise huffs.

“I’m sorry, Lou. I just haven’t felt like talking to anybody all week,” Dan replies with a shrug.

“Well, that’s going to change. We’re going out and you’re going to have a good time with your best friend,”

“Louise, I don’t want to. Please don’t make me go out,” Dan whines.

Louise grabs Dan’s arm and forcefully pulls him out of bed. “See? That wasn’t so hard, now was it? Okay, let’s chose an outfit. We’re going to a bar so you gotta look nice,”

“You’re taking me to a bar? After what just happened?”

“Yeah. You can meet another boy there. Like I said before, there’s plenty of fish in the sea,” Louise grins.

“But you told me to forget about boys and focus on my school stuff. You’re sending me mixed signals,”

“It’s just one time. I wanna go have fun with my best friend,” Louise says.

Dan sighs. “Fine, just another opportunity to get drunk off my ass I suppose,” he mumbles.

Louise rolls her eyes. “Come on, let’s pick out an outfit!”

After they’ve picked out an outfit for Dan, him and Louise head out despite Dan’s continuous protests.

“Louise, what the hell are we doing here?” Dan asks once the Uber pulls up to the bar, the very same bar where he had met Phil just a week ago. “I’m not going in there.”

“Dan, come in. This is one of the best bars in town,” Louise says, grabbing her purse.

“But he met be in there!” Dan hisses as he glares at Dan. “Screw this. I’m not going-” He crosses his arms against his chest angrily. “I mean it, Louise. Take me back to my dorm.”

Louise rolls her eyes and then she quickly grabs Dan’s arm, she quickly pays the Uber driver and then she pulls Dan out of the car before he can protest anymore. “No, Dan. You’re going to forget about the douche that broke your heart, and have the time of your life with your best friend, okay?

Dan sighs. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” he grumbles as he follows Louise.

“Oh, shush. You’re going to thank me for this later,” Louise says.

Dan is hesitant as he walks into the bar with Louise. He doesn’t want to see Phil after what happened. Most people would probably say that he’s overreacting, but Dan feels embarrassed.

Although, if he does see Phil tonight, maybe he can finally get the answers to all the questions he’s had.

“Do you want to get anything to drink, Dan?” Louise asks.

“Um,” Dan glances around before looking back over at Phil. “Not right now. How about we dance for a bit?”

“Okay, now you’re talking!” Louise grins and then grabs Dan’s arm, and excitedly dragging him to the dancefloor. Dan definitely isn’t much of a dancer, especially around others and especially at bars like this, but he’s willing to do anything at this point to help get his mind off of Phil.

Dan dances with Louise for about ten minutes before he starts getting bored, and wanders off. Besides, Louise has already found another boy to dance with so it was just the perfect opportunity to escape, and he was definitely going to leave at the very first opportunity that he got.

Dan would love to stay and have fun with Louise, but he’s just not into being at bars like Louise is.

Dan sighs as he walks up to the bar, and sits down in one of the stools.

“Are you playing tonight?”

“No,” Dan replies, figuring the person is talking about playing the piano. “I’m just here to-” He looks up and then his eyes widen when he sees Phil in front of him. “Phil?” He had just started to forget about him for the first time this whole week and then he just had to run into him now. Things were going so well too.

“Should I get you the same as last time?” Phil asks.

Dan stares at him for a second before shaking his head. “Um, y-yeah… whatever,” he mumbles.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you,” Phil begins as he starts making Dan’s drink.

“I wonder whose fault that is,” Dan’s really trying his hardest not to snap at Phil right now. Dan doesn’t even really hate Phil. He just wants to know why Phil left him like that after what they did.

“What do you mean?” Phil asks, glancing over at Dan.

“I woke up after that night and you were totally gone. Who the fuck even does that?” Dan asks angrily, crossing his arms against his chest. “You couldn’t have left a note or anything?”

“I did leave a note,” Phil sighs. “I left one on the nightstand with my number on it. I guess you didn’t see it,”

“You… what?” Dan asks, frowning. “You actually did?”

“Yes,” Phil confirms. “I still have the note at my house. You really think I’m that type of person?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know you very well,” Now Dan’s starting to feel guilty. He’s been doing nothing but thinking negative thoughts about Phil all week, and Phil isn’t even the bad guy here. If only Dan had looked a little harder than he would have seen the note that Phil had left for him. “But, why did you leave?”

“I had a couple errands to run,” Phil explains. “I felt bad for leaving you alone but it was pretty early so I thought you would still be asleep by the time I got back. But, you were already gone.”

Dan groans and buries his face in his hands. “I’m such an idiot,”

Phil chuckles and then he hands Dan his drink. “I’m not upset with you,” he says, trying to reassure Dan.

“Hey!”

Dan blinks a few times and looks over, and his eyes widen when he sees Louise walking up to him.

“Louise, don’t-”

“Is this guy that douchebag that hurt you?” Louise asks, glaring at Phil. “You listen here-”

“Louise, please don’t,” Dan quickly grabs a hold of her. “Stop. It was all just a big misunderstanding.”

“How could it be?” Louise asks as she looks over at Dan. “He hurt you, Dan. No one hurts my best friend and gets away with it. At least let me beat him up a little bit. He deserves that.”

Phil raises his eyebrows as he watches the two.

“No, he doesn’t deserve any that. Phil didn’t leave me on purpose. He already explained everything to me,” Dan explains to her. “He left a note but I didn’t see it. It’s my fault. I jumped to conclusions too fast.”

Louise blinks a few times as she looks over at Phil. “So, you didn’t mean to hurt Dan?”

“No, I would never hurt someone like that,” Phil replies, shaking his head. “And, I’m truly sorry Dan. I feel awfully that you’ve been hurting. I tried to find you after that night but I didn’t see you at the bar again. I didn’t know where to find you. I was really hoping that we would see each other again though.”

“Really?” Dan asks, a smile forming across his face.

“Of course. You’re sweet, and you’re also very talented, and I’m not just talking about playing the piano,” Phil winks at Dan, instantly causing his cheeks to turn bright pink.

“Can I give you my number?” Dan asks, pulling out his phone. “I’d love to see you again after tonight.”

“Here-” Phil reaches over and grabs Dan’s phone. He quickly types in his number, adding himself as a contact in Dan’s phone. “Text me anytime. I work mostly but I’m usually free on the weekends.”

“Okay,” Dan takes his phone back. “I’m busy during the week as well. College stuff.”

“You’re in college?” Phil asks, obviously surprised. “Wow. Good to know I didn’t fuck a teenager.”

Dan laughs loudly and shakes his head. “I promise I’m not underage,”

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone now. Sorry for yelling at you,” Louise looks at Phil and smiles innocently.

Phil chuckles. “That’s alright. I understand. You were just trying to protect your friend,”

“Best friend,” Louise corrects, and then she grins. “And you’re right. Hey, I like you.”

“Hey, back off-” Dan pouts and pushes Louise playfully. “He’s mine.”

Louise giggles and then she takes off after saying a quick goodbye to Dan.

“Yours, huh?” Phil asks, leaning against the counter, and looking up at Dan.

“I-I mean… i-it’s okay if you don’t want to be. I… I totally understand,” Dan says quickly, blushing.

Phil laughs, and then he gently grabs Dan’s shirt and pulls him down, kissing him.

Dan’s eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn’t hesitate to kiss Phil back once he realizes what’s going on.

Phil smiles into the kiss before finally pulling away. “I need to get back to work before my manager notices that I’m not actually working but I wanted to ask you first, to make up for what happened. Can I take you on a date? Tomorrow evening? We can do whatever you want, and I’ll pay,” he says.

“You don’t have to do that,” Dan says softly. “But I would love to go on a date with you tomorrow.”

“A date it is,” Phil grins. “I can’t wait for tomorrow.”

Dan has to remember to thank Louise later, otherwise, he wouldn’t be going on a date with Phil tomorrow.

[kathleensmithmusic]

(pic by Melodee Solomon.)

A SMATTERING / AND ALSO A BIT ON PERMISSION

I have been taking a little brain break from this space, AND, I was just watching a video by the brilliant the super magical Angel Phoenix, and it juiced me up so much, I had to pop on here to say a few things.

This is basically just a smorgasbord of some of the things currently between my ears:

1. WHATEVER FEELS RIGHT TO YOU, LEAN INTO THAT. There are people, ideas, stories & paradigms that have coding that resonates with the home vibration of your soul. You’ll know it by the way engaging with them makes you feel more relaxed (that deep parasympathetic sigh of the nervous system dropping, for example), more spacious, possibly more turned on but from a spacious & delighted & inspired space, and more excited about YOU and YOUR LIFE and whatever YOUR MEDICINE is for this life. GO THERE. Fuck everything else. I truly mean it. FUCK IT ALL except that which is in tune & resonance with your heart & soul. Follow what feels right. Your body knows. Listen & allow!!!! Doesn’t have to resonate for ANYONE ELSE but if it does for you, THAT IS MEDICINE TO TRUST!!!!!!

2. In service to that very thing—i.e. TEND TO YOUR OWN SOUL, HEART & NERVOUS SYSTEM & MAGICAL BODY--these are some things I’ve been up to and not up to lately:

        1. Staying (mostly) off social media: I deleted IG from my phone ten days ago. I realized it has an addictive hold on me, and I don’t feel good when I engage with it for more than about 5 minutes per day. It took less than 48 hours for me to start to feel inner peace and joy again. (I only popped back in here because this transmission feels exciting & important, and I’m going to re-delete when I’m finished posting!). Some people can engage with social & be fine, just like some people can engage with alcohol and be fine. Others of us cannot. It’s all good. The point is to know our own energy and honor & tend to it in ways that deeply nourish us individually. There is no ONE way—only the way that feels right deep in our bones.

        2. Sleeping a lot. I was already a 9-10h/night lady, and these days I take lots of naps, too.

        3. Working out EVERY SINGLE DAY, first thing in the morning. You’ve probably noticed me talking about my workouts. They are my favorite thing aside from music & my husband & planet Earth, and they keep me sane and grounded and joyful. I just show up and do what my trainer (on the screen) tells me, and I get stronger & fitter every fucking day. OMG I could talk about this whole thing for hours.  Nothing juices me the way working out does, and can I just say—BEING & FEELING STRONG AF has changed EVERYTHING about my life over the past ten months. I am fucking HERE these days. Like—hello, planet Earth, I am HERE and I am not trying to be anywhere else, and I FUCKING LOVE IT HERE.

        4. Limiting consumption of covid info, politics, news, etc. – I mean, I already didn’t read the news, but when this whole thing hit, I was gobbling it up for hours a day and F R E A K I N G out a LOT. I realized that doesn’t work for me, because honestly, a freaked out, paralyzed, terror-ridden Kathleen is no good to anyone. New rule: no consuming for Kathleen. Shawn gives any updates. This rule has really been working for me. I slacked for a couple of weeks and then realized I was starting to feel unwell, and that’s when I deleted IG from my phone ten days ago, and VOILA: FEELING A BAZILLION TIMES BETTER.

        5. MASSIVE PERMISSION: I have a vision in my heart about who I know I could be and how massively I feel I can and want to serve people & the world, and for the first few weeks of this whole quarantine/COVID situation, I was ON FUCKING FIRE with it in a new way.

Excited. Scared. Married to the vision of what feels important to me. Making stuff. Sharing a little more, etc.

And then, suddenly, after about three weeks of that, I just felt EXHAUSTED BEYOND BELIEF.

Suddenly, all I wanted was to not care one whit about the world, or my mission, or anything beyond my tiny, cozy life, and just read books and paint my nails.

You know—immediate vicinity shit.  Back into the CAVE.

So, boom—PERMISSION TO FEEL THAT WAY & PERMISSION TO CAVE IN & PERMISSION TO COZIFY & LIVE MY TINY LITTLE LIFE. I let go of caring about my mission, fell off the face of social and went inward.

I read Mists of Avalon (OMFG WHAT A MAGICAL FUCKING BOOK).

I started cooking again.

I just fucking was quiet and cozy and stopped giving a flying fuck about anything other than enjoying the simple life right in front of my eyes.

I’m still in that space, and can I just tell you—WHAT A FUCKING RELIEF.

I can’t even tell you the agida (is that how you spell it?!) and angst and despair and G R A S P I N G that I have experienced for my entire life around MY MISSION and MY VISION and MY MUSIC and MY DESIRE TO SERVE ON A MASSSSSSSIVE LEVEL and MY COMPULSION TO BE SEEN (coupled with somatic terror for my literal safety, which led to a MASSIVE stalemate inside of me because the brain says “I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY & I MUST BE SEEN!!!” and the subconscious says “I MUST NOT EVER BEEN SEEN TOO WIDELY BECAUSE THAT WILL GET ME KILLED & EXILED, AND I MUST REMAIN SAFE AT ANY AND ALL COSTS.”)

What a tangled, dramatic mess it has always been, and just fucking STRESSFUL as all get out.

And now, there is a new peace.

I don’t know whether it’s quarantine, or the prayer practice I’m in right now, or getting older, or the masks that are dropping like flies for all of humanity right now, or what, but suddenly, it feels like layers of my personality that have been all tied up in my mission & my purpose & my grand and grandiose desires to serve on a global and cosmic level (& all of the agitation that comes with it because of the equally loud & powerful parts inside of me who must stay safe at all costs) have just been dropping away.

Like the way a cicada suddenly drops its exoskeleton and emerges brand new.

Like the way a seed planted in the dark, moist Earth splits open, and a new form emerges.

LIKE: NEW ME—WHO DIS?

But not NEW ME as much as just…Kathleen, deconditioned to a deeper degree than ever.

Kathleen who suddenly realized that she doesn’t actually have to DO anything AT ALL to be enough—I already AM enough, and actually, enoughness is not even on the table. 

Here I am, a human on the Earth, having an experience, and haha—joke’s on me, because THAT HAS BEEN THE WHOLE POINT, THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!

That’s it: EXPERIENCE.

The whole situation, the entire enchilada, the big fucking secret hiding out in plain sight.

LIFE LIVING LIFE.

Consciousness & the Universe experiencing Itself through the body/personality/soul matrix of the one we call Kathleen, who has never existed in this particularity before and never will, and

EVERY

SINGLE THING

She experiences

Is

Just

E X P E R I E N C E,

Is just

The mirror consciousness uses to say

“Oh hey, here I am again, in THIS form, in THIS form, in THIS form!” HOW GLORIOUS!!!!!!

 The Universe narrowed herself from her infinitude IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE Herself as ME, and THAT IS ALL!

 Life living life.

 The Great Whatever experiencing this whole thing & play of life as a human on Earth.

 WHAT?!?!?!?!

 AND ALSO: WHAT A REVELATION AND A RELIEF!!!!!

 I don’t have to free anyone, or serve anyone, or fucking achieve some grand mission, or be productive to earn love (or safety or security) because it’s what I’ve been conditioned to believe.

 I live on a fucking planet that has fish & plants that glow, light shows that happen in the sky (Northern lights), unicorns who swim in the fucking ocean (hello narwhales), trees that give me oxygen and dirt that gives me food.

 I can just L I V E, however feels right or not right to me, and it’s all good.

 ARE YOU FOLLOWING?!? I mean, what a revelation.

 Nothing to do, no one to be, nowhere to go.

 Have I ever lived that way? Definitely fucking no.

 Does it feel amazing to do so now? Definitely fucking yes.

 Okay, I hope that made some sense to you.

 These things—these deep Mysteries—always are like trying to carry the actual SUN in the bed of a Ford F350.

 IMPOSSIBLE.

 And yet, the words & the transmission can hopefully be felt.

 NOTHING TO DO.

NOWHERE TO BE.

NO ONE TO BE.

 And then what? Then the rest is

FUCKING

BONUS.

(pic by Melodee Solomon.)

Okay, I LOVE YOU.

 I’m going back into my cave.

(I made gluten-free sourdough starter this past ten days, so I’m making bread tonight!!!)

(amazing photo by me. HA!)

I may or may not emerge at some point, but regardless, please remember: I LOVE YOU. LIFE LOVES YOU. YOU ARE DOING THIS PERFECTLY. HEED YOUR INNER URGINGS. FOLLOW WHAT FEELS RIGHT. PRAY TO SOMETHING (I pray to the Divine Mother) IF THAT FEELS GOOD. AND: NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD, YOU CAN BE SOVEREIGN IN YOUR OWN HEART & MIND, and THAT is something that never needs to change.

 AND—FUCKING REACH OUT!

If you’re having a TIME or need a pep talk or WHATEVER, REACH THE FUCK OUT TO ME. If you do it here, not sure when I’ll see it, so better to text or email me, but I AM HERE 4 U, and we all belong to each other, so let’s fucking keep loving & living & daydreaming together.

I GOT U BOO.

I LOVE U.

If we could see each other in person, I’d give you some sourdough bread or some of the apple muffins I made this morning or some of the sourdough starter I made (I HAVE EXTRA, ACTUALLY, SO IF YOU ARE IN SANTA FE AND WANT SOME, TRULY, PLEASE, HMU.)

Okay okay, volcano transmission over for now.

LOVE UUUUUUUUUUU

4EVAAAAAA

(pic by Seth Jacob.)

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 33

The end of the day had finally arrived and I couldn’t have been more ready to go home. I was exhausted and stressed and it wasn’t until the last period of the day that my mood immediately shifted when my guidance counselor decided to make an appearance in class to give a quick presentation about transitioning out of high school. I hadn’t thought much about that topic since well before Christmas break and with graduation fast approaching, I had yet to make a final decision on the school I planned to attend. I wasn’t at all a procrastinator, so I’d definitely already applied to several schools… my only problem was that I had yet to decide where I actually wanted to go. I’d had this conversation with Destani before… was it a good idea for us to leave the state or just play it safe and go somewhere local? Wherever I went, she’d already made it clear that with everything in her power she would be right by my side. Chris, on the other hand, had opportunities both locally and far & wide. He’d been having scouts following his every move since the end of his sophomore year, so it remained a mystery to us all where he would end up. The thought of it all was just a constant reminder that eventually, I knew we would all split up and it wasn’t something that I was anywhere near ready to consider.

“So, did you talk to Mr. Chesney about what you should do?” Destani asked as we walked toward the student parking lot. “No, I really wasn’t even in the mood to talk about college at all. I’ll probably just set up an appointment with him sometime next week.” I noted. “Well you need to figure something out quick girl. High school is gonna be over in just a few months… time is passing us by hella quick.” I nodded in agreement… she was absolutely right. I knew that if I waited too long then I’d end up letting graduation pass me by with not a single school of choice under my belt “I know. I’ll figure something out, eventually.”

We both hopped into my car after loading our school supplies into the back seat and within minutes we were out on the main road. I pulled into my driveway once we reached my house and the moment Destani and I walked in, we headed straight for the kitchen. My aunt hadn’t gotten off work yet so we were both left to fend for ourselves for a hot meal. I finally sat comfortably at the kitchen table with my calculus textbook, calculator, and a notebook laid out in front of me. Destani had been walking around the kitchen aimlessly for the past few minutes trying to decide what to eat until she finally grabbed the house phone and headed over to the Pizza-Hut magnet on the refrigerator.

“What are you doing Dez?” I asked, barely looking up from my homework to see what she was up to. “I’m about to hit up Pizza-Hut and get us a supreme nigga!” She sang out as she danced around while dialing the number. Eventually she placed her order and slid the phone back into its cradle on the counter then plopped herself down on the opposite side of the table. “Now, would you finally like to tell me about your fun filled weekend?” I quickly finished jotting down the last bit of information to the final question of my homework and shut my book before slowly diverting my gaze up to face her.

“Nothing major happened Destani. I went out and I just had a really good weekend… with Trey” I muttered. “Oh you went out with Trey huh? Well I would ask what ya’ll did, but I’m not tryna be that nosey.” “Oh but you are, Ms. Nosey,” I giggled with a shake of my head, “I’ll go ahead and tell you, just so you don’t get the wrong idea. We just went to this eat-in movie theater place… it was really cool.” She nodded slowly with her lips twisted to one side and a brow raised “Does a certain someone know about your little outing?”

Rolling my eyes, hard, I slouched back in my chair with my arms crossed “No Chris does not know about it and I would like to keep it that way, thank you.” “I didn’t say I was gonna tell that crazy nigga... I was just wondering.” I stared at her blankly for a few seconds then we both broke out in laughter because we both knew that had I not asked her to keep quiet about it, the first thing she would have done was tell Chris. She quickly cleared her throat and curiously cocked her head to one side as she stared at me “What’s going on with ya’ll anyway?” “With who?” “You and Chris. I mean, I know ya’ll have been spending a shit load of time together lately and I figured there’s something I’m missing… there isn’t anything I’m missing, is there?” She asked, cutting her eyes at me. “No, you know you’d be the first to know if anything ever happened between us.” I said with a smirk and a shake of my head.

“Oh, good… I thought you were about to say ya’ll been fuckin every day for months or some crazy shit like that.” She said, warranting laughter from both of us. My laughter died much quicker than hers though… I couldn’t help but reminisce over the things I hadn’t actually shared with her. I hadn’t told her about any of the nights I’d already spent with him at his new apartment. I hadn’t told her that nearly every time we were together, we always kissed like second nature. I certainly hadn’t told her about the things he’d done to me… the many times he’d made me see stars and made my body tremble beneath his touch… the way that only he could teach me to vocalize exactly how I felt, as his tongue…

“Sy… SY.” I snapped my head around to face Destani, who was standing mere feet away from me with a pizza box in her hands. I stared up at her, failing to realize that the doorbell had even rung and she’d left the table several minutes ago to retrieve it. “Huh.” I murmured. “I said the pizza is here, you damn freak… probably sitting over there thinking about one of those niggas. Hell… probably sitting over there thinking about both of those niggas.” She laughed as she eased the box down on the table and went to grab a couple of plates. “Shut-up Destani.” I snickered and snatched a plate from her hand, quickly grabbing myself a slice of pizza and walking off toward the den with her right behind me.

--

I turned the shower off and pulled a towel from the metal rod behind me. After wrapping the plush material around my frame, I shut off the light in the bathroom and walked out into my room. I made sure to wring my hair out while still in the shower so I could leave it out to air dry. Glancing at the alarm clock on my nightstand, I noted that it was nearly ten p.m. Destani had already gone home for the night and my aunt came in from work shortly after. With tomorrow’s English quiz still on my mind, I quickly rid myself of my towel and slipped into my pj’s so that I could climb into bed and end the night with a bit more studying.

I was nearing the last page of my notes when my phone began to vibrate obnoxiously on my nightstand. “Hey Charlie.” I greeted after swiping it from the hard surface and glancing at the screen. “What’s up boo thang?” He greeted. “Were you not feeling well today?” I asked, wasting no time jumping into the interrogation of why he was absent from school. “Nah, I’m feeling fine,” He chuckled, “Had to take care of some things. How was school though?” “It was good, I guess. Ms. Donna nearly lost her mind with all the homework she assigned… we have a quiz in her class tomorrow too.” I sighed.

“Oh for real… I hope I don’t have to take that shit. I wasn’t even there today. If she makes me take it, I’m marching straight to the principal’s office… failed quiz in hand.” He spoke somberly and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure she won’t make you take it so I wouldn’t worry about it,” I said through a stifled yawn, “Oh, before I forget… Destani and Gabby almost got into it at lunch today.” “Oh word… why is shit popping off on the one day I’m not there?” He fussed with a smack of his lips, “What happened?” “Well it happened at lunch… Gabby was walking past our table with her two minions and she rolled her eyes at me. Destani saw it happen and tried to confront her about it. Surprisingly, I was able to stop her before it escalated and Gabby actually walked off without much confrontation.”

“She may not have done much, but I know her big mouth ass had something to say,” He muttered, “But she didn’t actually say anything to you though right?” “No, she didn’t. She just made a comment to Destani about me staring at her. But I mean, it’s not like I was really staring at her… I was just surprised at how big she’s gotten.” “I haven’t seen her in a while. What she looking like?” He chuckled. “She’s getting really big. Like she’s starting to look like she’ll pop at any minute.” “I’m not even tryna see her ass tomorrow man. I know she’s gonna go out of her way to try to make me notice her crazy ass, but I have nothing to say to that girl. I’m not even tryna be in the same building as her.”

“Aw, you’ll be alright… hopefully things won’t escalate between you two,” I murmured, making sure to quickly change the topic, “So you’ll really be in school tomorrow?” “Why, you miss me already?” He chortled. I giggled and shook my head as though he could see me “No, I just… I want to make sure you’re not trying to skip again.” “Nah, I’m not skipping ma… I’ll be there. I got a surprise for you too… I was gonna come over there and show you tonight, but I’ll just wait til tomorrow.”

“Oh really? You could just tell me what it is now.” I probed “Or I could just show you when I see you tomorrow.” “Oh whatever.” I said with an exasperated sigh. “Don’t get mad,” He laughed, “Guess I’ll let you go now… just had to hear your voice before I hit the sack.” With a wide grin, I fell back against my pillows with a soft thud “Well then, I guess you can rest well now huh?” “Yes ma’am, hearing your voice just made it all better.” He laughed. “Goodnight Charlie.” “Night Hope.”

--

The day was rainy and gloomy and I wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep the hours away. With grave effort on my part, I managed to drag myself from bed and after nearly half an hour I was dressed and on my way to school. I pulled into the school parking lot a bit earlier than usual and though I had no desire to waltz right out into the downpour, I climbed out of my car and carefully sped up to the side doors of the school.

With the inclement weather keeping me drowsy throughout the day, I just barely made it through the first few classes of the morning… and the task was daunting. I ambled into my fourth period class and claimed my seat and minutes later the bell rang, leaving the stragglers to scurry inside at the last minute. Nearly two full minutes after the bell, I looked up at the sound of shuffling near the classroom door. I immediately spotted a very familiar face and I watched as he moseyed over to Mrs. Donna, leaning in to speak quietly with her. She gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and smiled warmly… she’d always had such a soft spot for the captain of the basketball team. He looked as handsome as ever with a black skully on his head as he turned away from her and walked with his hands tucked away in the front pocket of his gray hoodie. I eyed him closely as he eased past me toward his seat with a wink and a smirk.

“Alright people, yesterday evening you all were assigned two chapters from this week’s reading. Please pass in your summaries and clear your desks… it’s time for a pop quiz.” There was an instantaneous groan from nearly everyone in the class and Mrs. Donna stood with the most satisfied smile at the front of the room. I finished my quiz only about ten minutes after receiving it and walked up to her desk to turn it in.

Before I could fully turn and walk away from her desk, Mrs. Donna called me back “Uh, Ms. Donsen, if you would be a dear… I’d like to request a small favor from you. Since you're done with your quiz and you are one of my most trusted students, could I please ask that you take Mr. Brown down to the library and give him a quick review over what he missed yesterday?” “Sure, no problem Mrs. Donna. Will we need a pass?” I asked with a pleasant smile. “Oh yes, let me write one up for you while you gather your belongings.” Briskly walking away, I collected my things from my desk and headed back to her to patiently wait for her to write out a pass and call Chris up to the front. He soon arrived and stood next to me and I took an opportunity to inhale his always delightful scent.

After making him aware of our plans for the remainder of the class, she handed off the pass and dismissed us. We moved quietly down the hall, stopping momentarily at Chris’s locker to retrieve his English book that he’d purposely entered class without, and continued our journey on to the library. I glanced at him and couldn’t help but notice his relaxed vibe and unbothered vstride. He had a swagger to him that I absolutely adored… a swagger that left me nearly breathless whenever I was in his presence and had me fighting the urge to smile giddily.

He glanced down at me and I swiftly diverted my attention straight ahead “What you looking at girl?” I shook my head and continued to stare ahead as if I weren’t previously gawking at him and he only chuckled and allowed silence to sweep over us once more. Once we finally made it to the library, he quietly trailed along behind me toward the librarian’s desk, which I politely placed the pass down on. “What class are you all coming from?” She asked, failing to look down at the note on her desk. “It’s on the pass ma’am.” Chris stated with a finger aimed at the small square of paper as he hiked his book bag up higher on his shoulder.

“But I haven’t looked at the pass yet, have I? Now can you please tell me what class you are coming from so that it can be recorded in the ledger?” She snapped rudely as she glared at him. “Miss, there is no need to be rude about it. If you wanna know so damn bad where the hell we just came from, you can simply look down at the paper in your face that says in big, bold letters Christopher Brown and Sy’Diyah Donsen to library from Mrs. Donna’s fourth hour English.” I snapped my head around to face him, already well aware of the irritation rising in his tone. He didn’t bother to look at me, but he did continue to stare at the librarian with the deepest scowl.

Her mouth almost instantly flew open and she blinked rapidly as if Chris’s harsh words had physically slapped her in the face “Well I never… Mr. Brown, I will not tolerate you speaking to me in that manner.” She backed up to the phone that was stationed against the wall behind her and quickly yanked it down off the cradle, wasting no time dialing what I presumed to be the front office number. “Shit, call the damn office… I’m not gonna tolerate your rude ass speaking to me in that manner either,” He argued, obviously mocking the woman, “As a matter of fact, why don’t you tell them to slide my slip in my locker, because I know your scary ass is snitching.”

I watched in utter horror as he stepped around me and walked back toward the door “Sy, we’re gonna have to do this study shit later because I can’t stay in this library with this crazy ass woman.” He spoke just loud enough for the flabbergasted librarian to hear him and I rushed forward behind him as sauntered away from the library. “Chris, where are you going?” I whispered loudly as he strolled casually toward the student parking lot. “I’m leaving. That bitch just put me in the worst fucking mood and I no longer feel like being present today.” The scowl remained strong on his face and he remained confident in his stride.

Once he reached the door leading out to the parking lot, he turned back to face me with slightly softened features “You’re coming with me right?” “Well, we can’t just walk out of the building without letting the front office know first.” I said. With a smack of his lips, he rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling theatrically “Listen, it’s not a big deal Sy. We’re seniors… that shit isn’t serious for us. We’re grown… come on.” I shook my head as I stood there, debating exactly what to do. It was simple for Chris to walk right out of the school with no hesitation because that was something he did often. Almost on a weekly basis he would get into a spat with one of his teachers and disappear from the school grounds for the rest of the day. I was almost positive his teachers had become accustomed to him doing just that, as he was never formally reprimanded for it.

My feet had deceived me while I was deep in thought and before I knew it, I stood directly before Chris who gently grasped my arm and led me out of the building. “Wait a minute… I didn’t say I was going with you.” I tried to argue and snatch my arm back, but it was much too late… without a word, he continued to drag me along behind him like deadweight. “Yeah, well when you walked over here, that told me otherwise.” He stated and I knew at that moment, the conversation was over and we were indeed leaving school for the day.

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.19

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19

so this is like...twice as long as a normal chapter. anyway i was in les mis the other week and i sent something and someone thought it was a les mis chapter of wanna chat. and @reyxa​ encouraged it so Here We Are

this chapter continues right off of the last one because i found a note with sick quotes on it. i kept the les mis as light and understandable as possible but just like..let me know if it makes 0 sense. i had to get this out of my system because ive been in a writing funk

(mari = cough cough, nino = space bro, alya = alys, adrien = glen coco)

enjoy? 

3:12 in boo you whore

cough cough: gmoring i cant brethe out of mynose rn Im not goin g ot be in school today :( Bu ti cant sleep anymore because I cnat breath e iim gonna go watch youtube videos

 6:37

space bro: my dude i hope youre feeling better when you wake up

6:43

glen coco: If you’re not turn on the shower really hot and sit in the bathroom with the steam

alys: or drown urself in cold medicine

glen coco: Don’t do that

space bro: never listen to alya

alys: dont listen to these traitors

PM between glen coco and cough cough

glen coco: I bet the akuma attack last night really didn’t help Don’t worry about anything today I can handle it unless it’s another akuma Just get some rest <3

10:03 in boo you whore

cough cough: Self care is chugging five cups of tea and astral projecting behind a mcdonalds to punch hawkmoth in the face

11:46

glen coco: Mari no

alys: mari yes

space bro: mari wtf

cough cough: Im dyin g

alys: tag urself im punching hm in the face

space bro: im astral projection

glen coco: Five c ups of tea

cough cough: Does that make me the mcdonalds

space bro: congrats mari

glen coco: I can’t believe Mari is the golden arches

alys has changed their name to punching hawkmoth in the face

punching hawkmoth in the face: im finally my True Self gang follwo suit

cough cough: Why shoul d I LISten to you

punching hawkmoth in the face: bc u love me and want me 2 b happy and also bc i still have ur jacket in my bedroom

cough cough: Fuck

cough cough has changed their name to mcdonalds

space bros: al youre ridic

punching hawkmoth in the face: just do it babe

space bros has changed their name to astral projection

astral projection: there ya go

glen coco: Rip Glen Coco

punching hawkmoth in the face: truly a her o of his generation :’(

mcdonalds: RIp

glen coco has changed their name to five cups of tea

five cups of tea: Rebirth

mcdonalds: I hate you all img oing ot bed

punching hawkmoth in the face: goodnight my darlign <3

astral projection: nap well bro hopefully you feel better when you wake up

 15:37

punching hawkmoth in the face: remind me to throw my bag in the seine i dont wanna do hw :(

astral projection: i feel you

punching hawkmoth in the face: wanna get togheter and do hw

astral projection: do homework or “do homework”

punching hawkmoth in the face: have u ever met me “””””””do homework”””””””

astral projection: i need to figure out physics my dude

punching hawkmoth in the face: D’:

five cups of tea: I can help you when I get home tonight

punching hawkmoth in the face: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

astral projection: the real mvp i love you

five cups of tea: I love you too Have fun Use protection

astral projection: alya please kick him out of the chat

punching hawkmoth in the face: no i like him

astral projection: fuck

 18:57 mcdonalds: Screens hurt my head irhgt now Im gonna watch reruns and keep sleepng

punching hawkmoth in the face: feel better babe <3

 22:15

five cups of tea: Ok so the other day instead of doing homework I started reading les mis ANd now instead of doing homework I’m reading les mis again I can’t believe this is how I’m procrastinating

astral projection: what

punching hawkmoth in the face: the musical????

five cups of tea: No the book Which the musical is based off of

astral projection: what a nerd

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao how is it

five cups of tea: Old Long

punching hawkmoth in the face: how long?

five cups of tea: Uhhh 655,000 words

mcdonalds: jesus

astral projection: what the actual fuck

punching hawkmoth in the face: holllllly fuck

astral projection: you my dude are unreal

punching hawkmoth in the face: for fun???? r u sure this is for fun???????

five cups of tea: I think so? It’s kind of boring sometimes and hard to get through but other parts are really good Also if I’m reading I don’t have to practice chinese

punching hawkmoth in the face: touche

astral projection: have fun reading bro you are unbelievable

PM between five cups of tea and mcdonalds

five cups of tea: Hey why are you up? I thought you were heading off to bed a while ago?

mcdonalds: I didnt take nyquil tonight because I felt a little better and didnt want to pass the fuck out again but now Im awake and cant sleep because my head feels like its gonna explode And I regret So much

five cups of tea: Aw no poor bug

mcdonalds: Ugh

five cups of tea: Do you want anything?

mcdonalds: You dont have to

five cups of tea: Do you want anything? If you want soup I can get you some

mcdonalds: Its like???? Really late?????

five cups of tea: Mar its only 20:30

mcdonalds: Oh It feels like 1 But its still late

five cups of tea: Ok well Late night food is not a new thing Trust me

mcdonalds: … If you brought me soup Id love you forever

five cups of tea: I thought you already did

mcdonalds: Id love you even more

five cups of tea: I’ll be on my way soon

mcdonalds: I love you so much <3

23:35 in boo you whore

punching hawkmoth in the face: what if you took tea in shots like shot glasses

five cups of tea: Like with hot tea?

astral projection: i feel like thats a good way to burn your entire mouth

five cups of tea: *entire life

astral projection: ^^^

punching hawkmoth in the face: hmmm

five cups of tea: Alya no

astral projection: yeah bad idea

punching hawkmoth in the face: f i n e

 1:02

mcdonalds: sos Im dying I constantly feel like Im about to sneeze If I dont feel that way its cause Im sneezing

astral projection: rip my dude guessing you cnat sleep while sneezing

mcdonalds: Nope :’( End my suffering please

astral projection: no can do i can offer virtual hugs

mcdonalds: I guess thatll work for now

astral projection: <3

2:03

PM between five cups of tea and mcdonalds

five cups of tea: Hey Hey Marinette Hey I have something to show you

mcdonalds: Adrien its 2 in the morning

five cups of tea: So? You’re up too

mcdonalds: I slept all day

mcdonalds: Yeah but you’re awake right now

mcdonalds: … Fine Hit me

five cups of tea: “When they had finished, when they had told each other everything, she laid her head on his shoulder and asked him: ‘What is your name?’” Us

mcdonalds: Oh my go d This is les mis right??? What youw ere talking about before??

five cups of tea: Yup

mcdonalds: Omg Why are you like this

five cups of tea: Ok but am I wrong????

mcdonalds: I cant say you are tbh

five cups of tea: Man I feel like Marius am I like Marius??

mcdonalds: Whats he like?

five cups of tea: Kind of oblivious, pretty romantic but sort of in a weird way, awkward, usually confused but can be scary if he needs to, handsome as hell and love of my life that I would honestly leave all three of you for

mcdonalds: Wow Are you sure you havent already

five cups of tea: :P Actually….

mcdonalds: Are you suddenly realizing youve left us for a fictional character

five cups of tea: No I was oging to say I might be more like Bossuet

mcdonalds: Youre just saying words I dont know who that is

five cups of tea: He always has bad luck Like always Ummmm hold on

mcdonalds: K Who would I be???

five cups of tea: “He was the constant victim of mischance, hence his merriment. He said, ‘I spend my life walking under ladders.’”

mcdonalds: Ok you mgiht be this Bossuet you bad luck magnet

five cups of tea: For you Hmmmm Enjolras?

mcdonalds: Not cosette??  Shes the love interest right

five cups of tea: As much as I love you Enjolras is the leader in red And I just can’t help myself

mcdonalds: Nerd Are you goind to do alya and nino too?

five cups of tea: D u h

 2:34

mcdonalds: Adrien?? You ok? Youve been quiet for a while Or did you fall asleep on your computer again

five cups of tea: No I’m here I’m just Stuck This is haarrrrrdddddddddd Alya and Nino are just so deep and complex and awesome and I dont’ know how to place them???

mcdonalds: True But wow Slightly offended

five cups of tea: Hey yours is based on a pun I can pun easy

mcdonalds: G o to sleep kitten You can sort them in the mornign Later this morning

five cups of tea: Fine I hope you’re feeling better

mcdonalds: A little bit!! The soup definitely helped Night <3

five cups of tea: Night <3

10:25 in boo you whore

astral projection: saturdays are chill but my mom wants us to clean the entire apartment today and im not about that life

 12:12

mcdonalds has changed their name to enjolras

enjolras: I have no idea who thi s is but I hope it makes Adrien happy

punching hawkmoth in the face: ???? wahts ahppenign

enjolras: Adrien said I was this charactera t like 2

astral projection: why the fuck do none of you people value sleep

punching hawkmoth in the face: how theh ell did that even come up in conversation

enjolras: He was saying he thinks hes like Marius

astral projection: huh

five cups of tea: I’m not sure yet

astral projection: bro!!!

five cups of tea: I'm thinking either Marius or bossuet for myself

punching hawkmoth in the face: r we supposed 2 know the second one

enjolras: Hes got bad luck Thats what I got from our convo when no one else was awake

punching hawkmoth in the face: change ur name i want u2b the hopeless romantic

astral projection: isnt he already??

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao

five cups of tea has changed their name to marius

punching hawkmoth in the face: awesome were u gonna do nino and i??

marius: Yeah I’m just having some trouble

astral projection: yeah were just too unique to be put into little boxes

marius: Exactly

astral projection: that was sarcasm but i love you so much

marius: <3

punching hawkmoth in the face: hey question not that im doubting maris badassary but why enjolras

marius: Enjolras is incredibly passionate and would do anything for his friends and the people of Paris Reminds me of how Marinette is as class president

PM between marius and enjolras

enjolras: Nice save

marius: Thanks

in boo you whore

astral projection: I see it

marius: Alya could be eponine?

punching hawkmoth in the face: shes the one who cries about marius right

marius: Well I was actually thinking her cause Ponine she knows her way around And all that stuff But yes she cries about Marius she does have a song about that

PM between punching hawkmoth in the face and astral projection

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao did he just give me the character hopelessly in love with marius

astral projection: rip

punching hawkmoth in the face: end my life

in boo you whore

punching hawkmoth in the face: i cna work with that

punching hawkmoth in the face has changed their nickname to eponine

astral projection: and then tehre was one

marius: I’m struggling

enjolras: Arent we all

eponine: Id help but I know literally nothing other than some of the lyrics RED THE BLOOD OF BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD

astral projection: theres no way that isnt right im 100% sure those are the actual words

eponine: BLACK THE BLOOD OF BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD

enjolras: Period mood

eponine: general mood

enjolras: Ok same

eponine: mood: red and black but the only words are blood

enjolras renamed this conversation to “red the blood of blood blood blood”

eponine: yes exactly

astral projection: sometimes i wonder why im friends with you

eponine: because u love us and would be sad without us

astral projection: ok yes but also why

marius: I mean maybe Grantaire? He’s a jack of all trades? Nino you are…really hard to place But R might be the best bet

enjolras: Wait a minute R?

marius: Yes

enjolras: Get out of this chat

marius: </3

astral projection: that is amazing

astral projection has changed their nickname to grantaire

grantaire: in it for the puns

marius: So is Hugo

enjolras: Who

marius: The writer of les mis

eponine: tag yourself im les miserables all of them

grantaire: you cant be all the miserables

eponine: watch me try

marius: Sorry you must have no idea what’s going on

grantaire: not really we have nothing to contribute but keep going dude!!! i love to hear you ramble

eponine: oh oh i have something to contribute

enjolras: You do?

eponine: 24601? more like 246 so done with your shit

enjolras: Im leaving the country

grantaire: whos shit?

eponine: uh oh fuck whos the antagonist again

marius: Society

grantaire: deep

enjolras: Stop being fake deep

eponine: feep anyway no u butt the police dude

marius: The only evil in les mis IS society And the Thenardiers OH JAVERT

eponine: YES THANK YOU

marius: Javert: do not forget my name Alya: forgets his name

eponine: fuck you also 246 so done with your shit javert

grantaire: thank you for clarifying

eponine: no prob

enjolras: Ok so Im googling stuff to try and figure out whats happening And wow This is depressing ¾ of us die

marius has changed their nickname to bossuet

bossuet: Now all of us die

eponine: nope change back 2 lover boy ur not dying too

grantaire: um no one is dying my dudes

bossuet: We’re always dying But fine

bossuet has changed their nickname to marius

enjolras: Im pretty sure Im dying righ tnow I almost coughed up a lung

eponine: GO TAKE MEDICIN E

enjolras: You arent my mom!!!!!!!!!

eponine: THAT DOESNT MEAN I DONT CCARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HEALTH!!!!!!!!!

enjolras: AHHHHH

eponine: AHHHHHH

grantaire: Ahhhhh?

marius: Ahhhhh

[goron-king-darunia]

Sneak Peak of a Fic.

I’m writing a little fic for @hannikka so here’s a little preview of all my hard work. Hopefully it’s easy enough to understand because Richter is drunk as hell so I wrote him slurring his speech a bit. *~*~*~*~* “The day is finally here, Richter. The very last day. Tomorrow you can go free. Everything’s set up at the news network, so the weatherman position is yours if you want it. The renters have cleared out, so you can stay at my old home in Luin if you want to. I’ve got a lunch all packed for you to take with you tomorrow. And I’ve got everything we need to have a great farewell celebration tonight!” Richter smiled sadly. “You’ve done so much for me, Emil. Thank you. Really and truly. Thank you so much for doing all this for me.” “You’re my friend. My best friend, even! Of course I’d do anything for you!” Emil pat Richter on the shoulders. “So, how do you want to spend your last day? We can do whatever you want! I borrowed all your favorite books from the library, I rented some movies, got you a bottle of rum if you want to get totally wrecked. I’ve got cards, board games, I even rented a console and some video games if you want to play! I’ve got all your favorite snacks lined up. I’ll make whatever you want for dinner. I’ve got cake and tea and sparkling cider, a cozy nook to snuggle up in to do whatever we want. The day is yours.”

“Alright.” Richter nodded, finishing off the breakfast in bed that Emil had graced him with this morning. “Then answer this for me. How early in the day should I get totally wasted so we can play drunken board games?”

“Well, if you start drinking now you can be puking by noon, so… Whatever you want. Pace yourself and you can keep the buzz all day.” Emil teased. “Or, if you’re really that sick of being here, you can chug the whole damn bottle and die of liver failure.” “Don’t tempt me.” Richter teased right back. “Fuck over Ratatosk on the very last day and just ascend to another plane of existence.” “Alright, so what board game do you want to get wasted for this time?” “You remember that card one?”

“Machi Koro?” “No, no, the other one. The one we played with the centurions.” “Oh, you mean Cards Against Humanity?” “Yeah.” “Oh, holy hell, that’s going to be fun drunk.” “My thoughts exactly.” *~*~*~*~* 30 minutes in, and a shot for every loss, Richter was starting to see double and Pontus, that tiny little Polwiggle, was winning. “That little shquirt can’t even hold hish cardsh and he’sh kicking everyone’sh asshesh.” Richter slurred. He was losing badly. Aqua and Tenebrae were tied for third, Emil was a strong second, and Enki and Sedona had a few cards each. “If you ashked one thoushand yearsh ago if I thought I would end up at the door to hell, playing cardsh with monshtersh and Shummon Shpiritsh I would have laughed in your fache.” Richter let out a hoarse belch and Emil suggested he lay off the booze for a while. “It’s a game, Richter, not a suicide attempt. You can be exempt from losing shots for a while. Come to think of it, I think we’ve all had quite enough. Let’s just play normally.” “If you shay sho.” Richter took his last shot for losing the previous round, hiccuping a bit at the way the liquor burned. “Alright, get some food on top of that, Richter. Have a cracker or something. You’ve had, like, way too many for that to be healthy. Get some water in you too.” Richter complied, stuffing his face with a few pretzels and taking a long draught of water. “Whoshe turn ish it?”

“You’re card czar this round, Richter.“ “Right. Right…” Richter drew a black card, squinting at it and reading it aloud. “Daddy, why ish mommy crying?” Richter closed his eyes while he waited for the players to put in their cards. “M’kay. Why ish mommy crying?” Richter laughed at every response.

From Tenebrae - “Being fat and stupid.” From Aqua - “My collection of high-tech sex toys.” From Enki - “Your weird brother” From Sedona - “Wifely duties” From Pontus - “Crumbs all over the god damn carpet.” From Emil - “German dungeon porn.”

“I’m shorry. Theshe are all great, but I have to go with ‘German dungeon porn.’ It jusht shpeaksh to me.” “YES!” Emil cheered, taking the black card from Richter and adding it to his pile. “I knew that’d tickle you!” “To be fair, you had shome fierche competition. I almosht went with ‘Wifely dutiesh.’ ‘Crumbsh all over the dog gam carpet’ wash pretty good, too.” “Pffft! ‘Dog Gam.’ Richter, you’re too drunk.” “Prob’ly.” Richter hiccupped hoarsely, counting his white cards to make sure he hadn’t forgotten to draw last time. “M’kay. Ish your turn, Emil.” “Right.” Emil drew a black card. “War! What is it good for?” Richter was audibly laughing at his own addition when he put his in with the lot. Tenebrae - “Drinking Alone” Aqua - “A tribe of warrior women” Sedona - “Friendly fire” Pontus - “Bees?” Enki - “Cards Against Humanity” Richter - A completely blank card

Emil was confused by a certain submission. “Okay, I think I may need to close my eyes again. Someone forgot to fill in their free card.” Emil closed his eyes for a few moments but heard no shuffling or scribbling. “Is… is that intentional? Is the card supposed to be blank? Knock twice if the card is supposed to be blank.” Emil heard two knocks. “Well, I don’t get it, but okay…”Richter was gritting his teeth when Emil opened his eyes. It was the funniest thing he had ever done in his life, and the boy didn’t get it. “Alright. I guess I have to go with ‘a tribe of warrior women.” “YES! In your face, Tenebutt!” Aqua blew a raspberry at the other centurion, taking the black card and drawing a new white card. “Damn. Washted a perfectly good card.” Richter grumbled, drawing a replacement white card. “What did you put in?” “The blank one.” “I wondered about that. What was it supposed to mean?” “It’sh a shong.” Richter began to quietly sing. “War, huh, yeah. Wha-at ish it good for? Absholutely nothing.” The rest was mostly humming because Richter couldn’t remember the words. “Oh nooooo.” Emil hid his face. “I didn’t get it! I had no idea that was a song! That’s really funny! Can I retroactively give the point to Richter?” “Nooooo!” Aqua whined. “I need this point to beat Tenebrae! Don’t take away my point! I may never catch up to you and Pontus so third place is all I have!” “It’sh alright, Emil. I *hic* I should have picked something better. It’sh fine. Let Aqua have a point. I’m loshing anyway.” “No, you deserve a point! Here!” Emil handed over the black card he had won the previous round. “You deserve a point. Take one of mine.”

“But you’re loshing to a tadpole.” “I don’t mind! Just take it!” “Fine… fine… Thank you.” Richter reluctantly accepted the card. “Pontus is next.” Aqua announced, selecting a card and reading it aloud because Pontus, being a monster, couldn’t speak well. “Why am I sticky?” “Ish thish a general ‘I’ or Pontush shpechifically?” Pontus burbled. Aqua translated for him. “Pontus says whichever. Surprise him.” Richter - “Three dicks at the same time” Emil - “My genitals.” Aqua - “Edible underpants” Tenebrae - “This year’s mass shooting” Enki - “Sniffing glue” Sedona - “A bucket of fish heads”

Pontus burbled a bit before Aqua announced the winner for him. “Edible underpants is too specific, this year’s mass shooting is just fucking wrong, and three dicks at once is trying too hard, so the winner is ‘My genitals.’” “HAHA! Just two more and I’ll be in first place! Thanks Pontus.” Emil took the black card. “Pontus says ‘Fuck.’” Aqua laughed. “My turn. ‘What ended my last relationship?’” “Do you want us to speak from experience?” Tenebrae asked snidely. “Shut up!” Aqua snapped back. “If I had ‘German dungeon porn’ again, this would be a good place for it.” Emil laughed. “Literally every round hash been a good plache for ‘German dungeon porn.’” Richter laughed. Everyone handed in their cards. Sedona - “Copping a feel” Enki - “A really cool hat” Pontus - “Police brutality” Tenebrae - “Rape flavoring.” A custom card from someone who previously owned the game. Richter - “A sausage festival.” Emil - “My inner demons.” “Ooh, these are pretty great! ‘Rape flavoring’ hits a little close to home here, so I think I’m going to have to go with ‘a sausage festival!’” “Finally!” Richter cheered. “I’m beating Shedona at lasht!”

“Yay! I’m really glad I picked yours! That was great!” “You just picked it because it was an innuendo.” Tenebrae scoffed.

“Maybe, but it was still pretty funny! Even Emil laughed!” “It was pretty great, Richter. You earned it.” “Thanksh.” “No revenge for you yet, Sedona. It’s your turn.” “Mhm.” Sedona, being one of the more humanoid monsters, could speak fairly well, though it did sound like she was talking under water. “What are my parents hiding from me?” Richter - “Racism” Emil - “An oversized lollipop” Pontus - “Sexual tension” Tenebrae - “The gays” Aqua - “Cybernetic enhancements” Enki - “An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist” “Sexual tension is great, and an oversized lollipop is adorably innocent, but I have to go with ‘the gays.’ I imagine that happens a lot.” “Haha!” Tenebrae laughed triumphantly as he snatched the black card with the hand on his tail. “Another point for me. The stalemate resumes.” “NOOOOO!” Aqua threw her hand down, scattering her cards. “It’s not fair! I had terrible cards!” “Boo hoo. That’s part of the game. You’re allowed to spend some of your points to exchange them, you know.” “But I don’t want to spend my points! I don’t have any points to spare!” “Stop being a sore loser.” “Stuff it, you grumpy old man. You cheated to even get this far, you’re not nearly as funny as Master Richter!” “My points say otherwise.” Tenebrae showed off the black cards he’d won. “Not my fault the half-elf can’t hold his liquor.” “Technically, thish game ish very unfair to me becaushe I am the only one here that can eashily get drunk. You guysh are immortal shpiritsh and the monshtersh don’t drink…” “He’s got a point.” Emil giggled. “I can get tipsy but I didn’t lose nearly enough to take quite as many shots as you, Richter.” “Shpeaking of, got any more shnacksh?” Richter held up an empty bowl. “Gonna need more shtuff to shoak up all thish liquor.” “Coming right up.” Emil went to grab a bag of potato chips. “Try to share with the group, though. I want to have more than one chip before you eat the lot.” “Sure, sure…” Richter nodded.

“Now, onto my turn. I have quite the refined sense of humor so use your best cards please.” Tenebrae chortled. “Says the centurion who couldn’t even get any of his servants to join.” “Excuse me, unlike your lazy minions, my monsters are out doing their jobs and balancing the flow of mana.” “My precious monsters are just so good at their jobs that they can afford to take some time off instead of spending every waking moment working and trying to avoid me.” “I’m not picking your card.” “You won’t be able to tell which is mine, dope.” “We’ll see.” Tenebrae drew a card. “ _____. That’s how I want to die.” Richter - (with the intent of gambling a point, Richter put in two cards. Losing would mean losing a point, but winning would mean keeping the point and earning a new one and he only needed one more to pass Enki.) “Spontaneous human combustion” and “not wearing pants” Aqua - “Flesh eating bacteria”(definitely intended as a passive aggressive wish toward Tenebrae.) Pontus - “A Bop It™” Emil - “Poor life choices” Enki - “Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.” Sedona - “Laying an egg” “Somebody’s taking a risk this round. Are you that intent on beating me, Aqua?” “Not my bet. But I will laugh my tail off if you pick my card after all that blather.” “Fine.” Tenebrae harrumphed. “Poor life choices is definitely entertaining, but nothing quite does it for me like spontaneous human combustion.” “YESH! The bet paid off!” Richter took the card he’d won. “For Martel’s sake, Richter!” Emil gasped. “That was morbid!” “Couldn’t help it. If I can’t laugh about pasht experienchesh, what good is my life?” “You’re terrible. What was your other card? If you say flesh eating bacteria, I will punch you.” “Nah, nah, my other card wash ‘not wearing pantsh.’” “Oh thank god. You’ve got a decent sense of humor then. I would have picked that one.” “Thanksh.” “Alright. Last card of the last round.” Tenebrae announced. “You and I can break this little tie or Emil could tie it up with Pontus.” “I just hope anybody but you gets the point Teneboob.” “Same to you, wet blanket.” Tenebrae read the card for Enki. “What’s the most emo?” Emil - “A mopey zoo lion” and “flightless birds” Tenebrae - “Half-elves who aren’t good at math.” Pontus - “Alcoholism” and “Kids with ass cancer.” Aqua - “The Great Depression” Sedona - “Poorly-timed Blood Purge jokes” Richter - “A sad fat dragon with no friends.”

“Going all out, I see. Some of you really came to win.” Enki took a few moments of consideration before finally selecting “Half-elves who aren’t good at math.” “Haha! I have won!” Tenebrae cheered. “No! Enki! How could you betray me like this?!” Aqua sobbed. “Don’t blame Enki. It’s just that I’m obviously funnier!” “You got lucky! My cards were junk.” “Don’t blame your cards. You just couldn’t use them effectively.” “I hope I never have to play this with you again.” Aqua took a shot, scowling at the other centurion. “Do you even get tipshy?” Richter asked. “A little. We can get buzzed but we usually don’t. We absorb mana naturally so it’s kind of pointless for us to eat or drink. We can do it for pleasure, but there’s no real desire or urge for it. Unless you’re like me and want anything to smother the rage you feel.” “I shee.” Richter smirked. “What’sh the final shcore?” “Pontus beat me with 12. I could have tied if I hadn’t gambled, but instead I��m stuck in second with 11. Tenebrae managed third place with 9, Aqua has fourth with 6 points. You managed fifth place with 5 points. Enki has 4 and Sedona got 3.” “I shtill can’t believe you losht to a tadpole.” Richter chuckled. “I can’t believe Pontus lost his streak! He was doing so well!” Pontus burbled for a moment and Aqua translated. “He thinks you guys probably just got used to his type of humor and started picking more surprising options. Plus, he said his last few cards were pretty bad.” “Well, you cant win them all.” Richter hiccuped. “I’m jusht happy I managed to get myself out of a loshing shtreak. Maybe I’m funnier drunk?” “You were pretty damn funny sober!” Emil laughed. “At least, to me you were.”

[allmymisters]

For the Love of 2018 - GOOOOOAAAAALS!

I didn’t get the black stallion I was hoping for this year. I tend to have high expectations I suppose. 2018 had its splashes of cherished moments in addition to downright depressing hidden gems. The sudden losses of very dear friends for one. Those were blows I was not prepared to experience and, screw you 2018 for giving me those moments. I’m no stranger to tragedy (have you read this site?), but this year’s tragedies were a vast array of empathetic reassurances that there is no explanation for the sheer magnitude of such occurrences nor through any fault of their own. It just sucks to have to go through it and you’ll be struggling with it for the rest of your life.

I think everyone was stressed the hell out this year. Frustrated and angry, there were a lot of opinions and entertaining thoughts on where we should or should not be, as a society and as a nation. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the weight of the world as I did this year. I didn’t like people before, but 2018 proved how much my contradictory persona could take. Humanity is a raw and evil sort of thing letting way to bursts of sunlight at any given moment which results in confusion and downright rage. I was deleted, blocked, called names, and asked to duel a few times this year, all for, having a valid belief that my truth is not your truth. On the other hand I learned some people I’ve known a majority of my life have some really skewed views of what they support. Speaking of ending relationships…my friend of 15+ years decided that she could no longer remain in our relationship and instead broke up with me on the grounds of…This is unknown at this time as to why our oh so dear friendship came to an abrupt end and was not worthy of any explanation whatsoever. Marriage, babies, narcissism…you know, the silent killers of friendships. It seems pointless to say, but it did open my eyes to how I expect to be treated in life. So, first there was the lack of closure that came with my ex husband and now once again, another uncommunicated shut down. Hmmm…is it me? Did I not give enough? I give too much, more than I should in a lot of instances. People are just weird.

For the first time in a really, wait, ever, I felt like I accomplished something. This little project being one of them. Nobody cares what I write or do or say or feel. I know this. The difference is, I don’t care anymore, it is my therapy, my cathartic medium to deal with my life that will hopefully help others in a relatable and true sense. It truly is the first time I’ve consistently followed through with my own idea, not someone else’s, but mine. What made my year was receiving some very heartfelt thanks yous and that was enough for me. To make another feel better or to move someone with words, that is my art. For the first time in my life I am proud. All the work I’ve done this year, I am proud of, and worked hard for, and it felt like I had just finished a marathon. A marathon I’ve been running for 45 years. What a fulfilling thing, right?

I promise to get to the good parts soon, but not yet, I have to finish through the hard layer first before I get to the chewy center where rainbows shoot out of the asses of babes. Reaching 45 was difficult. Harder than anything I’ve ever done, and with that came a dreadful revelation. I came to terms that my physical self is no longer twe—, I mean, thirty-five. No longer do I feel I can climb fences, dance the night away or have a slap boxing match without being completely winded in ten minutes. The white hair that has accompanied my raven locks is disorienting, and the extra pounds which make me cry on most days because what women doesn’t want to look hot in her skinny jeans, but instead replaces her lacy unmentionables with…COTTON!? It has affected me profoundly. One thing they don’t tell us women getting older is how terrifying it is, physically and mentally. How we don’t feel attractive, how I cannot look anyone remotely attractive in the eye, and how the thought of donning a bathing suit would suddenly feel absolutely horrifying. They don’t tell you of the anxiety, the insomnia, and what the discovery of cellulite does to a woman or that missing a period will make you feel absolutely regretful and sad. How forgetful one becomes as she frantically tries to locate the cell phone she is currently speaking on or wishing for her tiny boobs of 34Bs again instead of this, what is this blob coming out of the side of my bra. I know, I really shouldn’t care. I have a mister who loves me as I am, but ladies as we know they can tell us we are gorgeous all day long but in the end it only matters is we feel uncomfortable, and I know, boo hoo right? Get over it and be stronger right? I will eventually, I just don’t like it.

I suffered my first panic attack and god forbid, my last. I had no idea. For all those who suffer this on a constant basis, I am so very sorry. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced, to be in small out of town diner, while you sit across from your loved one. A regular morning waiting for a server who doesn’t come while you are reminiscing about the spectacular night you’ve had together, and then for no reason at all, it happens. As I sat there with cold hands and irregular heart beating, body feeling disconnected, I imagined how awful it is that I, ME, was going to die in this amazingly terrible diner amongst strangers. For about 30 minutes, I concluded that it would be as easy as that and I looked at him and thought, at least I was loved and had loved again.

It’s a odd spectrum of emotions when you lie in bed at night and what used to be something so easily attainable becomes a labyrinth of questionable moments in life.

Why did I have chocolate tonight? Why did that person not text me back? Am I ever in my life going to fucking be appreciated for the work I do? Why am I so very broke and why did I just spend $14.99 on an Adobe app? Does he still find me attractive? Why didn’t I have children? Was i supposed to have children? Do people think I’m stupid? Did I go over 1200 calories today? How could there have not been one single carton of 2% milk!? Shit, I forgot to buy saline solution again! I hope my parents don’t die soon, what if I die before them…

And it goes on and on throughout the night. So yeah, lots of things occurred in 2018 I’ve never experienced before. Thanks for the new adventures! I found very little to say in 2018, not in person at least. I’ve embraced my Aquarian aloofness this year. I disconnected like I’ve never done before and found myself in very little meaningful conversations in the outside world. It baffled me really. For the first time in my life verbal exchanges were challenging. I just couldn’t connect. It was as though someone had taken my speech and turned it into a whole new non-language causing me tongue tied instances of pure lack of eloquence and articulation…embarrassing. Are you wondering about the good parts?

2018 was transitional to say the least. We got out of a very small apartment with a devil of a landlady into a very beautiful house in a new neighborhood. I really fell in love with being home. This place feels like a haven and despite still looking at unpacked boxes and unfinished furniture, it has become a place to relax and entertain at my whim. I am now the proud owner of a fire pit and a grill! Who knew such small domestic luxuries could bring about such sweet comfort! I tried to buy a house this year which didn’t pan out as I wanted it, but sometimes there’s a bigger plan. In turn, I sold my first house as a real estate agent this year which brought me a feeling of accomplishment. I can do it! Yes I can! A motto that held little weight before. Small, but an endeavor I never thought I’d ever add to my repertoire. I often wonder if I’m just real comfortable doing then jobs at once.

Karaoke. The activity that I refused to do in any public place became commonplace in 2018. Somehow singing Concrete Blonde and Leslie Gore brought a silent release for me and just the sheer gathering of friends in these instances made me genuinely joyous. The fact that people wanted to spend time with me, strange as that may be, was the one thing I felt humanly connected to. I felt strangely isolated most days. I attended a wedding, reconnected with family, and watched a lot of soccer. Simple joys. I was involved in a study about race and gender, wrote about people I admire, and received notes of praise. I read stories at night, saw tons of music, and dreamt of distant lands. I ate delicious meals, watched tons of film, and dove into photography. I wrote words. I said goodbye to the past. I made amends. I attoned and forgave. I laughed harder than ever and I cried seldomly. I felt loved. It went quickly and I suppose as we age it goes by at lightning speed. I long for the days of long summers and spontaneous trips.

What will 2019 be? I can only hope for less death, less loneliness, less heaviness. I am wondering if I too have become nothing but 1s and 0s and perfectly angled moments. Who will reach out, if anyone, to say hello that isn’t summed up in an abbreviated expression. Will the “We need to hang out” become an actual instance of beverages and exchanges of laughable tales or will it be the continuous cycle of empty efforts spread across another year. There are no resolutions for me, there is just a continuous wanting to better the briefness of existence. I want to read more books, see more music, cry at art, take better pictures, write more stories, take more trips, share more experiences, find inspiration, and motivate to healthier habits and less sour cream and onion chips at midnight. I want to shoot bows and arrows, play more pool, and swim in the ocean. I want to see my nieces and nephew, take my mom someplace new, and visit my dad. We always have such high hopes in the beginning don’t we? The ending of one cycle, packed with memories in our virtual treasure box, and the rebirth and renewal of new ones. Isn’t that the beauty of it all? What will this new skin look like? What stories will I tell next…