#hope you guys find him interesting!
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β‘ - Meet my DOL NPC, Cody the Messenger
A bartender at the Pub on Harvest Street, and an info broker on the down-low. The player is able to interact with Cody to take on jobs for income that change dependent on the player's fame and skills.
#. // β‘ π± art#dol#degrees of lewdity#fanart#wren the smuggler#niki the photographer#hi yes im insane#i thought long and hard about cody's game mechanic#hope you guys find him interesting!#also pls ignore the lack of anarchy color in one screenshot edit its 6am here pls have mercy on me#i'll draw more of cody later but first i gotta recover from being sick LMAO
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I do kind of want to briefly ramble about Akechiβs rank 4 scene though because it kind of pleasantly surprised me?
So Akechi takes Joker to the jazz bar, which is his place to get away from it all, kind of his safe spot. His best options are when you give responses that show excitement and enthusiasm about the place, which is⦠aw.
Then the conversation segues into Akechi asking if Joker has a place like that, where he feels at ease, and all of the responses obviously reference Leblanc. First of all, thatβs really sweet to have a kind of confirmation of that - Joker and Sojiro had a rocky start to their dynamic, but now heβs feeling like itβs a safe spot for him, and with Morgana there too, and the Thieves having come to visit a few times, maybe even more of a home than the one he left (though perhaps thatβs pushing it?).
Secondly though, alarm bells were going through my head, because nowhere in all of this business does it seem a good idea to tell the detective investigating me where I live and am now operating my heists from. (Even though he probably could find that out easily⦠but still.)
So I picked the vaguest option, to be on the safe side, but little did I know that it doesnβt matter.
Because Joker tells Akechi about Leblanc anyways. Completely without player input. And at first I was a bit taken aback, but then it made a lot of sense.
For one thing, it confirms that Akechi is being genuine about this being his place to feel at ease. Not that I doubted that, but Akechi often says one thing and means multiple; heβs quite good at controlling the flow and direction of a conversation to get the info he wants. But thatβs not the vibe I got here at all. Heβs justβ¦ sharing it. Wants Joker to enjoy it the way he does. Itβs actually a fair amount of openness, especially in that heβs never shared that place with anyone else before. And so Joker returns that openness with an honest answer and his own place of comfort - prioritizing returning Akechiβs honesty with his own instead of potential repercussions. Wild. I love it. And it tracks from their previous interactions.
Akechi downplays his skills by using his non-dominant hand, which Joker notices. Joker returns that (whether intentionally or inadvertently, I canβt actually say) when he puts his glasses on Akechi - the fake glasses that he wears, ostensibly, so as not to draw attention to himself. Thereβs a sense of honesty for honesty here, openness for openness, particularly from Joker. Itβs just interesting.
#as an aside I also find it interesting that its joker whoβs finding points of commonality#in many of the other confidant ranks the other people find commonalities between themselves and joker#but joker draws commonalities between himself and Akechi more often (I think? seems that way)#I kind of read it as joker being a bit confused by Akechiβs antagonism towards the thieves#like βhey see weβre not so different. why are you so against us?β#I donβt think he understands Akechiβs motivations. maybe heβs hoping to convince him? or maybe heβs trying to dig for info just as much#Akechi wants to catch the thieves. Joker wants to understand why he wants to catch the thieves#kind of. maybe.#and in the meantime theyβre justβ¦ hanging out. chilling. you know. as you do.#that rank 5 was wild though lmao#βare you used to gunplayβ βoh yeah im practicing to take you out lolβ β?!?!?!β#<-holy double meanings. also what the fuck Akechi.#what does that even fucking mean???#same guy who texts you in the middle of the night with tickets to the aquarium.#i wish I knew what the hell was going on here. Iβm very entertained though#storyrambles#story plays persona 5#p5r#random thoughts
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βDeath by Voodoo,β Storm (Vol. 5/2024), #2.
Writer: Murewa Ayodele; Penciler and Inker: Lucas Werneck; Colorist: Alex GuimarΓ€es; Letterer: Travis Langam
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Storm vol. 5#Storm 2024#Moon Knight comics#Moon Knight#Mr. Knight#Marc Spector#Storm#Ororo Munroe#IβM-#WHY is Moon Knight catching strays in a Storm comic hahaha#andβ¦.there is every chance that Iβm just being hypersensitive but ????? of all characters Moon Knight sure was an interesting choice#for that tidbit because throughout his publication history MKβs been pretty generous with his funds#through Steven and he even bankrolled the Marvel Knights team for a bit#(although maybe thatβs not the best example since he eventually had to recuse himself from that role hahaha)#so????? what reason would they have to portray him as cheap???#(I hope it was just random and Iβm just over reacting/irrationally finding reasons to be suspicious)#any way my cynicism having me jump to unfortunate conclusions aside#my Β«watsonianΒ» interpretation of whatβs going on here is either A) this is from after Marc jettisoned all their funds#or 2. this guy just happened to catch Moon Knight at some bad times when it was hard for him to move funds because they#you know#potentially came from international crime#also hi Robbie you are missed#also also Reed youβre amazing fantastic even but was that really necessary#(and I really do love the art in this series)
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idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.
the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.
yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.
but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?
this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.
yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.
i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.
so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.
because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.
he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.
but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.
yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.
#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a#video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway#i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha#anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw#that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not#gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out#(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my#reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yyh meta#yayyy#yusuke urameshi#literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i#don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor#and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself#but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends#he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat#the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it#and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his#plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan#ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to#which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT#i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass
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i am my father's son (enjoyer of irl sidequests)
#i didn't get to do the sidequest i almost got though π#i exited my apartment. theres a guy outside and i greet him bc i assumed he was a neighbour#and he greets me back and then hes like im sorry i hopped over the fence as a shortcut idk if that's fine#nd then continued and said he'll check if he dropped something#and i'm like yea ok sure!#bc i was going to lidl and i wanted to get going but i did just stand there for a bit in case the guy needed help or something#then he emerged from the fence area and he was like ''if you find something in there can you pick it up akd put out a note'' and i was like#yea ofc! i'll do that if i see anything#and then he was like this is a very nice area so i trust people will let me know if i did drop something#and i was like for sure#im not great at smalltalk but he was very polite so i tried my best#also he seemed like he wasnt having the best time#he might have been on something bc he was slurring his speech and drooling a lot and there was a certain look in his eyes but honestly that#none of my business#we said bye and i sat in my car and then he was like ''hey actually i live like a minute away super close but my bag is super heavy#can i get a ride there it's super close next to [redacted]''#and i moved my bag from the front seat and was like ''yea sure''#and then he stared at me for a bit and was like ''actually i dont want to bother you have a nice day bye'' and left with a wave#i was like you too and waved back#he didnt look like he had any trouble walking so i came to the conclusion that he's fine and then went to lidl#but honestly i am a bit disappointed he didnt want me to give him a ride after all bc he seemed like he would have interesting things to sa#he was super polite and talked a lot and despite me being a finn i dont always mind strangers talking to me#bc if i have nothing important to do it's like. might as well!#another chat outside my apartment ive had was this old lady and she knew a lot about the history of the area we live in#and it was very interesting and also like i said if im in no hurry to go anywhere i love listening to ppl yap about whatever#i hope both the fence hopping guy and the old lady are doing good#leevi talks
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I'm not a "new musical theatre style music" person. Never have been.
Even when I was doing voice lessons, I'd steer towards the golden age or jazzy musical theatre songs. My voice teacher would have to drag me kicking and screaming towards adding anything new musical theatre to my repertoire. For a while, the most modern song in my book was I Know The Truth from Aida, and I wouldn't count that as new musical theatre style since I mean more the Pasek&Paul or Joe Iconis type.
And now I have an audition coming up for a small production of a show in that style and I'm supposed to sing a song in a similar style. And I'm looking at all my sheet music like... let me do some Cole Porter... or Gershwin... at least Sondheim please...
#look i do have SOME newer musicals in my book. but like i said. kicking and screaming.#i'm probably gonna end up doing 'I Think That He Likes Me' which is not IN a musical it's just new musical theatre style#as part of a songbook for some writing duo that i can't remember the name of and it's 2:45am so i can't care enough to look it up.#and it's the only one in my sheet music folder that i'm like 'ok. this is TRULY the right style' and i know it's good in my voice#and it's a cute song and i do like it and it definitely fits the overall vibe of the show#and though i haven't sung it in like 4 years i still remember 90% of the words and have time to study it before the audition#but while trying to find that song deep deep in my folder i pass by other songs i just love so much more#and i'm like ahhhhhhhh why#and i'm not even like 'god i hope i get it' (see A Chorus Line. that's more my type) i truly don't care if i'm cast or not#and yes i can technically audition with any song i could ever want it's just suggested to do the same style#but i know the entire creative panel who i'll be auditioning for and the last 2 times i auditioned for them i sang the same song#only because it's a GOOD song that fit both shows i was auditioning for (Can't Stop Talking About Him by Frank Loesser)#(perfect audition song since it's short at like 28 bars and you can pick the tempo and do a lot of character stuff)#(but see this is what i mean. like 1/3 of my entire sheet music folder is golden age musicals. then half is 60s-90s.)#(and then the last chunk are the few new-ish musical theatre and some pop music.)#(if i took performing more seriously i'd have a wider range but this is truly just for fun and just for me. so i do what i like.)#i don't want to go in for a 3rd audition with the same creative team and doing the same song. especially since it doesn't fit this time.#so once again. dragged kicking and screaming. over to new musical theatre territory. unwillingly.#if i get cast we'll have to see if the show itself even grows on me since honestly i think there's maybe 2 songs i like in it.#it's definitely not the worst new musical theatre style show but it's also not one that drew me in.#ok wait while looking through lists of 'new musical theatre' shows to find one i actually like (i think just Legally Blonde sorry guys)#(every other new musical in the last 20 years that i like did something interesting with the music like Come From Away)#i ended up finding out that apparently 13 was adapted into a netflix movie? when did that even happen?#i mean i don't care for that show either but i thought i was at least up to date on movie adaptations.
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ryoji... ryoj..... RYOJI !!!!!!!!!!! π€§
#lizzy speaks#sorry y'all im still not over the ryoji reveal#they didn't include him in the trailer only to make him materialize out of thin air#i would draw something in commemoration but i am on designated art break until monday π€§#but its ok!! i've been reflecting on what i want to do with my art and im excited to get back to it#i want to get better with my fundamentals so that i can draw better backgrounds. i like how bgs can provide such nice context#im tired of drawing my guys on basic ass grid patterns and solid colors... i know bgs are a lot of work but i think its smthn im-#really really interested in... anyways...#i hope you are all having a nice september :) im glad to see people enjoying the art i find and rb!!
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Thor, rambling while Loki reads: --and yes, we are brothers, but I would kiss you if you asked!
Loki, suddenly much less interested in his book: What?
Thor: What?
Amora: *'sneakily' watching with her head peeking over the librarian's desk* HE SAID HE WOULD KISS YOU IF YOU ASKED.
#been finding the option of competitive fair play and sportsmanship supportiveness so much better as an option for everyone#like sure Amora is dying to bang Thor and Sif is trying to be a good friend while also vying/hoping for his interest#and sure Loki is somehow winning the contest with little idea he's taking part#but that doesn't mean they all have to fight!!!!#Amora being like 'well if i can't have him then im voting for Loki' while Sif and Loki joke about Thor's 'obvious' crush on one of them#Loki: *pointedly @ Sif* and to NO ONES surprise Thor has made off for the night with a stunning fair maiden with dark hair and blue eyes#Sif: it's OBVIOUS he's like this for *you*#Loki: nah ur just mad that im right about this. and the fact that he'd rather never confess than begrudge your warrior bond or whatever#Sif: he likes guys too -there's no way to explain that away with me! YOU'RE a shapeshifter making it doable to his...salacious imaginings :#Loki: what if he has a type. maybe he likes us both? that would explain the time he--#Amora: if i wanted i could make clones too yknow -_-#Sif Loki Amora with sometimes Lorelei showing up and lowkey thinking it's a fun time to cheer the others on in gaining Thor's attentions#Fandral too one day he's red faced and all 'shame on my family line' but he's taken a seat at their table reluctantly and gone#''his arms. right?''#and there are just nods of solidarity around the table#idk#something of a wholesome Thor fanclub which Loki is attending because Sif is CONVINCED his type isn't her but is Loki#and Amora who thinks it would be wicked hilarious for the bros to get it on#Fandral: wait I thought Loki was just sitting here to stop people bothering your table. and because he's a loner#Loki: Fandral FINALLY. Fandral look me in the eyes. tell them Thor isn't in love with me#Fandral: you?! I'm hoping he's into blond T-T#Amora: *fist over her heart* respect T-T
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Sex scenes don't bother me as much as kiss scenes. When the characters are making out in a way that indicates it will lead to sex, I'd scream at the screen "Just take off your pants and start grinding under the covers already!" because I cannot watch them mash their mouths together for another second.
That being said, I'm not a huge fan of sex scenes because firstlyβI can't take the movements seriously, and if there's sound effects, there's also a high chance of me laughing. Secondly, the squishiness of the human body is another thing I can't take seriously. When I first watched the Only Friends trailer, and I saw that scene where Sand thumbs Ray's tattoo, I thought it was a butt tattoo because of the way the skin bounced in slow-motion, but no, it's actually a hip tattoo; the human skin is just that springy on every part of the body. While everyone was going crazy because of the tattoo-touch, I'm laughing because the bounce was so pronounced.
Basically, kiss scenes ick me out while sex scenes are comedy.
omg that sounds like such a fun way to experience sex scenes tho!! i wish my reaction was more like that rather than convulsion. i'd much rather experience a comedy show tbh dfjkkdgj
also interesting point you bring up about the human body being so squishy. i never really thought about it but yeah. human bodies are just so weird?????? actually, only the other week i was talking with another friend (who's likely also ace-spec) about just how humans (and tbh even animals) will just have things dangling from them?? whether it be genitalia or boobs or whatever. like, those body parts are just... hanging there?? and technically even your arms but at least you can control those. meanwhile my boobs will just bounce depening on what movements i make and i can't control them and they're just hanging from my chest while i go about my life. like, why?? i want dog boobs where you mostly have just the nipples and they only really get big when i have an actual child to feed (i know human breasts also swell when they fill with milk during a pregnancy, but why do i have to have two balls of meat hanging from my chest even when i'm not pregnant?? who thought of this design??). coming back to your point of the human body being so squishy and actually yeah, i'm realizing now that i can't take it seriously when people talk about how hot boobs are precicely because boobs are so squishy and also so wobbly and just. how is this not funny to people? dkdfjdjfk
and lmao i remember everyone going crazy over the tattoo!!!!! i realized right away that it's on the hip but maybe that was bc i remembered the placement of it from the eclipse. which is also why that scene didn't make me laugh, i was actually too busy trying to read what it said bc in the eclipse we never got to see that tattoo up close enough in order to be able to read it. so while everyone was freaking out i was just sitting in my corner like "omg so the tattoo says 'beautiful'???" i'd been wondering about it for a year ever since the eclipse, so i was just excited to finally know what it says bc i'm a nosy ass bitch lmao
anyway, i love hearing about your experiences. it's so fascinating how varied the ace experience can be and how specific things affect everyone differently. and i think it's also cool to hear what things other ace people pick up/focus on while the allosexuals are busy drooling over whatever is happening on screen dkjkdkjg
the kissing... idk, i can't tell you why it doesn't actually bother me that much or why i might even enjoy it. although i do have to say, the act of kissing does look extremely weird. sometimes (usually during longer kiss/make-out scenes) i'll be sitting there and suddenly it'll hit me that "actually kissing looks SO strange, whose idea was it for kissing to be a thing??"
sometimes in my head the kissing just conjurs up the image of a fish opening and closing it's mouth, like so:
except, you know, kissing involves two people so in reality it's more like:
#i hope you don't mind that i'm publishing this on my blog again!#i'm just thinking it might be interesting for other people as well to read about our varied experiences#do let me know if you want me to go private (or just hop straight into my dms <3)#asks#actually a random memory popped into my head while i was writing this#remember how in my other reply i said kiss scenes sometimes bore me?#actually in the first and only relationship i've been in i actually would sometimes pretend to be asleep#(even though i struggle with sleeping and can fall asleep during the day ONLY when i'm sick or under a serious lack of sleep)#i pretended to be asleep to avoid my then-bf turning the cuddling session into a make-out session#bc making-out just bored me so much as an activity lmao#(it didn't necesserily bother me or gross me out but yeah i just thought it was insanely boring)#(i still went along with it the way you'd sit through your friend's fave movie even tho you personally find it super dull)#(bc i didn't have the heart to tell him i wasn't all that into it dkfjkdg)#(actually he once made a comment how ''the two of us couldn't go a day without kissing each other!!'' and out loud i agreed#but in my head i was like ''oh i EASILY could π€π€π€'')#(again i didn't say the truth bc he was a really sweet guy and i just didn't want him to feel upset at my lack of enthusiasm about him)#to this day i have no idea if the guy was the problem bc i didn't have strong enough feelings for it or if it was bc of my asexuality#i didn't know about asexuality back then but if i'd known i might have figured it out right then and there that i was ace lmao#(it took another 2 years until i got there)
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:3
Sure I'll share this (OC posting below)
how it started (Circa 2018)
how its going (drew it last night using the same technique this time using Samsung's notes drawing program. But also for the funnies, this is also taking place in 2018.)
#Dev talks#Realitypro#OC shit#Oliviam#Percy#extra context: Percy was specifically made as a foil and love interest to Ollie but then I started fleshing him out until eventually#I realized THEY Would not work out for long post Story given their needs and limits#Percy hardly had time to find himself outside of ''past'' and what his place in the real world and within society + needs to work through#His issues and how he constantly takes roles that place him in a pedistal but never actually taking care of himself and how THAT is buildin#Up resentment for his peers including his boyfriend who is struggling mentally of an aftermath that no one could comprehend let alone#Empathize which already placed a strain in their already shaky/unbalanced relationship (esp when your boyfriend wasn't that bad from before#You got together but then your boyfriend from an alternate timeline takes over your current boyfriends body and now you're stuck with a#Version you can't fix or place a bandaid over his pain even though he is very head over heels for you so you stuck stuck around and hope#He gets better (guess what the guy who likes experimenting different states of consciousness does instead of coping grief Normally)#Anyways .... I'm normal about these guys
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oh yea i dont see many people talking about season 1 anymore because of season 2 so i might put some of my takes of season 1 on here before i start talking about 2 becuase i think theres some relly cool moments nobody has talked about and i want them to be heard ππ will post soon as i think about them !
#ofab#lunch bunch ofab#viz rambles#im so excited to talk about the little guys#especially elemin nobody talks about him#hes so interesting i cant wait to see what happens when he gets to the mainland#ALSO FATE#WHAT HAPPENED TO FATE#ohh theres so many theorys this is so exciting;;;;#anyway this is so exciting !#i hope you guys like my theorys i find them super inetersting and im so excited to share them with you !#my asks (i think) are open so if you have any opinions please feel free to let me know#bye !
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i love ichiban so much. like in general but like. he's so neurodivergent. so so much i haven't been able to let go of it since i started playing. he's still filtering everything through dragon quest after 18 fucking years in jail without touching it and his loved ones realize and adapt to this bc they're cool so theyre like,, okay,, lemme put it like this. so you got a debuff from your one night stand. it's gonorrhea. and he's like okay i understand. that blows but im ready to hear my treatment options. and then he'd handle it like a well adjusted adult. he just processes it in a roundabout kinda way. he's just like me fr. and he's fully hallucinating gamer shit in the middle of street fights and his friends (who he met 2 days ago) are like lol ok cool cat that's wild. keep hitting them idc. my stats are going up? that's actually really cool ty for telling me i love you forever. i would die for you. and they're right for it. like they just accept him as-is with little fanfare because that's just ichi. they get on his level conversationally and it's not some awful horrific burden to talk about a thing he likes. and he hallucinates and he's not portrayed as some scary monster or unsettling pitiable thing. he's a cool guy and he's got all these nd traits and i think a lotta ppl probably need to see that. it feels very humanizing to me idk. he's a deeply kind and intelligent and loyal and dependable and wonderful man. one of the game protagonists ever maybe THE game protagonist ever and he's always in fucking situations constantly, as is the case with every rgg protag. anyway i love him. i know a lotta ppl look at him and go oh adhd for sure bc he's bouncy or whatever. and while i question that impulse i see you,, but that is NOT all okay. my man has some comorbidities. he's at a quaint little buffet of the dsm-5. something is UP with him and he's doing marvelously and everybody loves him and I love him too. yeag
#i mean. dq wouldnt help him understand stds more than growing up in a soapland did. regardless#basically i missed a neurodivergent character bracket submission and i was thinkin about him#and like all rgg protags hes just. in situations constantly. hes just plopped into whatever and he excells or fails comedically#rgg#ylad#kasuga ichiban#he's just like me he's got the stinky brain#also the party members who arent in the scene where that '? you guys arent seeing that???' conversation happens like. when do they find out#i hope i worded this right? i think he's interesting rep and there's good things to take from it#like. the hallucinations arent brought up ever again i dont think. theyre like ok ichi but we gotta solve this mystery or whatever#hallucinations/psychosis generally are usually treated as a big dramatic angsty thing#but instead theyre like okay. you wanna go play mario kart?#idk there's something nice to me about it#i imagine it would be kind of a relief to tell someone that and have them just accept it and not tret you any differently for it#but i also dont experience hallucinations/psychosis broadly (probably? tbd) so like. grain of salt on this post. my perspective is limited#anyway i would ask him to help me move. i would trust him to pet sit for me even if hes wacky hijinks prone bc he's a protagonist. etc
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turbulent events have happened tonight
#celebrated international children's day with my high school english teacher#yes we have been friends for almost 10 years. since i was in 9th grade#yes he is 19 years older than me#talked about the old friend group which consisted about like three of us high school girls and a bunch of college guys who were all at least#4 or 5 years older than us. yes every guy crushed on the same girl at one point. i was in a relationship with the oldest of them#one of them who was tangentially in the group now has psychiatric problems. i don't know the specifics. he was to get married to this random#ass girl who got pregnant at 22/23 by another guy#idk who exactly but suffice to say they are not together anymore#we discussed my cancer situation. my ex (who apparently will love me forever) was crying a lot about it and seemed shaken up#even at their little guys christmas reunion last year#he texted me in december saying a part of me lives and will always live inside of him and that he loves me no matter what#i was honestly at a complete loss for words because we broke up 5 years ago. we literally had no future together#one of the other guys apparently said back in december that it was no use texting me encouraging words because we had drifted apart#that is the same guy i crushed on for 6 years. i still wished him a happy birthday in april tho.#it's okay because my crush on him vanished as soon as i realized he's a little piece of shit human. still likeable tho#and that is the issue. anyway. maybe i shouldn't have said piece of shit he's more like an annoying asshole which you still find endearing#talking to him now makes me realize he was never all that. high school me just thought he did really interesting things (which admittedly#were very interesting for that time and for our little town)#about my ex tho#even though i have no feelings for him anymore i think it's really beautiful that what we had is staying with him like that. i hope#it doesn't stop him from having a healthy and loving relationship in the future#i know he had multiple relationships after me but none of them really worked out. i really hope he finds that happiness#the way that i have
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observing rafe cameron x reader
summary: you were trying everything to hide the fact that you couldnβt stop staring at rafe, unbeknownst to you - he was secretly hoping you were
a/n: this is a surfer!rafe x shy!reader btw!! also this is like pretty much my first ever fanfic so I have no idea what the fuck I am doing so sorry if this is literal ass π no mention of a fem!reader besides the fact that the womans bathroom gets entered
you felt the heat of the sun on your skin as you stepped out of the twinkie. the soft crash of the distant waves barely audible over the hum of the pogues voices
stepping onto the beach, a surge of excitement hits you. the day you and the pogues have been counting down to all week has finally arrived
you take one final glance into your bag, double-checking for anything you might have forgottenβsunscreen, snacks, a book, and a few other trinkets, satisfied you make your way over to your usual spot ready to take off your tshirt and shorts which hid your swim wear underneath, until you spotted someone out of the corner of your eye
rafe cameron
somehow the kooks had managed to pick the exact same date, place and time to visit the beach as you and your friends
while the others were hastly running towards the water stripping on the way down, paying no attention to the kooks, kie stayed back waiting for you
she was already in her bikini while your clothes werenβt even close to leaving your body and landing on the ground
''you coming?'' she asked, hand on her forehead shielding her from the burning sun
''umm'', taking a quick glance around you searched the beach in a, hopefully, unsuspicious way trying to locate rafe again
glancing down you turned your gaze elsewhere, you hoped the sudden heat entering your body was from the sun and not from the sight of rafe taking his shirt off
''Iβll join you guys later, Iβm a little dizzy right now'', you spoke swiftly looking up at her, hoping to not get caught in the little white lie
all though kie nodded, the flicker of confusion in her eyes and a quick look behind you told you all you needed to know
you had never verbally stated your attraction to the him but you were pretty sure almost anybody couldβve guessed with the way you tensed up or seemed quieter and clumsier whenever he was in close proximity
taking off your top and shorts you shot a look over to the pogues who were already splashing and practically drowning each other. you giggled while settling down onto your beach towel before applying sunscreen and laying down on your stomach with a book in hand
even though your book was very interesting, the sight in front of you was much more enticing
rafe was currently riding a pretty common wave, yet you found yourself unable to stop staring
you adjusted your book hoping to hide the fact that you were practically ogling at the cameron boy
he was far enough out that you couldnβt make out the details but you still caught the way his hair stuck to his face, the way his body twisted with the rythm of the wave and the way heβ¦ kept turning his head towards you?
it seemed like he was looking for you, looking to see if you were watching him
cheeks burning, you try to push your delusions aside trying to find the passage you were reading earlier
you take another peek at him and by the the time you do, he was already out of the water, walking towards his friends with the biggest fucking grin, beaming with pride and confidence, already seeming to rave about the wave he just rode
hearing jjβs laugh you swiftly adjust and pretend to be reading your book that was definitely more interesting than staring at rafeβs wet body and stupid grin
while jj kept whining about how john b, supposedly, almost drowned him they both settled down on your left, luckily on the side where the kooks were lounging
fortunately he also kept talking which meant you were able to peep right past his face and steal short glances towards rafe
it was almost impossible for you to keep your eyes off of him. it didnβt matter where you would see him, you were always stealing glances or simply staring at him from a distance. others could call this stalking but you liked to call it observing, you liked watching him, but not in a creepy way, more so you were admiring him, he was pretty
you liked his side profile, the way his bangs framed his face, the way his eyes looked in the sun, the way his shirts hung onto his fit body - you noticed the way he was very articulate with his hands, which were always adorned with the same two rings, the way the corner of his lips turned downwards whenever he tried not to smile
noticing him facing you, eyeing your group, the staring quickly stopped
at this point the distance between the two groups was too small for your liking because of course the kooks had to settle down as closely as possible to the pogues - it was somehow impossible for them to keep their distance
given the short distance, whenever you actually were brave enough to look again it seemed like he was meeting your gaze, trying to maintain eye contact
heart beating way too fast and cheeks burning, you turn away from jj trying to initiate a conversation with sarah, who was sitting on your right
after a while of, luckily, managing to keep your head from spinning towards him, to meet his gaze - aside from the occasional looks to jj or john b whenever they were contributing to the conversation - you were desperate to get up, to empty your bladder
you dreaded getting up, fully aware that the beach bar was situated just behind the kooks, it meant walking past rafe and the mere thought of that unnerved you - every step would make you acutely aware of your surroundings, mind racing, until the very thought of moving felt like it might turn your legs into jelly
examining the scene quickly you notice half of the kooks gone, including rafe, they mustβve left when you werenβt looking - you feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders while also immediately feeling a certain misery overtaking you
this unrequited crush was spiraling out of control
strutting over to the bar you take notice of ruthie with another girl sitting at one of the tables and kelce talking to the bartender seeming to be cracking jokes instead of ordering
walking past them you try to keep your gaze relatively low to avoid any sort of interaction. turning into the small hallway of the bar you exhale a breath you didnβt even realize you were holding
the calmness doesnβt last long because as you round the corner to reach the toilets you spot him, standing in front of the mens bathroom, phone in hand and looking quite bored
before you get the chance to look away he lifts his head and notices you, he smiles - you smile back, a very awkward smile
relatively quickly you turn your head away and enter the womenβs bathroom. your head becoming a blur, suddenly already washing your hands ready to leave the bathroom
he mustβve left already, right?
''topper are you fucking coming, man?!'', you catch rafe through the door
your plan of immediately leaving and paying him no mind, began to falter two seconds after stepping out of the bathroom
''hey, y/n'', you hear from behind you, shit
you freeze up for a second, caught off guard, before composing yourself and turning around
immediately drawn to him, you couldnβt help but notice the way his hair had dried in quite a messy way, his slightly squinted eyes and the slight smirk splayed across his face
''how are you?'' he questions before you had the chance to greet him back
''Iβm doing fine'', you manage to exclaim, nearly tripping over your words before adding the usual ''and you?''
you dig in your mind trying to recall the last time youβd exchanged words beyond the usual "hi" or "hey''
''ditto'',
apparently not completely satisified with your answer, he regards you for a moment, the stare causing a warmth to creep up your neck as you shifted uneasily
''why did your friends leave you all alone over there?'', rafe inquired with a raised brow - a hint of curiosity in his tone, ''they seemed to be enjoying themeselves''
letting out a soft exhale you answer him, attempting to maintain eye contact but faltering almost immediately, ''I wasnβt feeling so good'' was all you manage to muster before adding the word, ''dizzy'' in a rather whispered voice, as you lied through your teeth, hoping he wouldnβt see through it
if he did, he didnβt let on ''are you feeling better now?β'
you nod quickly, meeting his gaze
looking up at him with those almost innocent eyes, he canβt help but offer, ''are you sure? I can get you a glass of water'', an unrecognisable sweetness laced his voice, softening his usual edge
taken aback by his unexpected offer you hesitate before denying his offer by simply shaking your head
he let out a quiet snort, a hint of amusement in his eyes as he watched you struggle to give a simple answer
''what book were you reading?'', he asked, his smirk widening as he leaned further back into the wall, clearly amused at the way the conversation was turning into a playful interrogation, as if he found some strange satisfaction in making you squirm just a little bit
you froze, your mind going blank, searching for the title before realising you genuinely couldnβt remember, maybe because you werenβt actually reading the book
like a savior, topper emerged from the bathroom, a flicker of confusion passing across his face as he scanned the scene before moving past you both, muttering a quiet "letβs go," clearly directed at rafe
for a split second, it looked like frustration crossed rafeβs face, fleeting before you could overthink it, flashing you a smile he pushed himself off the wall and made his way past you
but before he completely disappeared out of view, he turned back with a smirk and called over his shoulder,
''hope you enjoyed the show earlier''
oh
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe fic#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks x reader#obx x reader#obx#outer banks#outer banks season 4#x reader#fluff#fluff x reader#lexcys β
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beetlejuice!
{beetlejuice!satoru gojo x f!reader}
β β may you never forget me β βͺ ΰΌβ
summary: living as a psychic medium was like a ticket straight to nothing in your life, you always accidentally creeping people out and scaring them when you talked about it, and you just feeling emptyβ like something was missing and vacant in your life with no explanation as to why. but upon stumbling through an attic inside a house of a recently deceased couple, you meet himβ beetlejuice, a silly and wacky man who was damned to live in the attic for eternity due to him breaking the rules, you never having met a spirit so forward and flirtatious in your life as you quickly bonded. but when beetlejuice presents the idea of you being able to break his contract and finally set him free, you hesitate at the one conditionβ¦ marrying him.
warnings: MDNI afab!reader, DIABOLICAL angst my god, angst w/ comfort though YIPPEEE, mentions of death, mentions of murder, reader is a psychic medium, fluuufff, SMUUUTTT, p in v sex, DOM AFF SATORU MEOOWWW, unprotected sex (wrap it yβall), creampie, oral, blowie, mentions of ghosts and spirits and things, loosely inspired by the 80s movie, mentions of reader having βpink cheeksβ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 19.8k
authors note: YEEEEEOOOOWWWW GET READY YALLβ¦.. SHES FREAKYοΏ½οΏ½ SHES ANGSTYβ¦ AND SHES THE MOMEEEENNTTTT omg i absolutely LOOOVEDDD writing this one so much and i hope you guys find it interesting or iβm gonna CRYYYY HEHEHEH no iβm jk but as always, i love you SO SO SO much and thank you for all of your love and support !! MWAAAHHH <333
youβve always had a knack for the paranormal.
and from the newspaper clippings you saw and the meddlesome whisperings of your fellow neighbors, newlyweds adam and barbara maitland died on their way home from a day out in the townβ swerving in their vehicle while crossing over a bridge and crashing through the side of it, evidently sending themselves tumbling down to the river below and drowning.
it was the biggest tragedy your tiny town had ever been hit with, the maitlandβs having renovated their house on the hill from scratch and had recently just finished it when the accident happened, the both of them in the midst of planning their honeymoon to get away from winter river for a little while, happy and in love and looking forward to a quiet serene life together.
it was a shame, really, and it only took two weeks for rumors to spread about how there were always weird moving shadows from the windows of their two story home, or slight flashings of neon blue or white seeping through the cracks of their front doorβ all of which pissed the realtors off seeing as the rumors prevented the house from being sold again, prospected buyers coming in with high hopes only to be scared off once they so even explored the town, a store clerk or a fellow neighbor quick to tell them of the gossip and to stay away, ultimately causing the house to collect dust and cobwebs until realtors decided they wouldnβt bother much with it anymore.
and the rumors always peaked your interest, as your entire life youβve always had a passion for the supernatural seeing as your late parents were psychic mediums for the otherworldly, a beautiful ominous gift that was relayed to you from the moment you were able to correctly comprehend sentences, your mind and soul more welcoming to spirits of the unknown compared to regular folk who flat out refused.
and why? you didnβt know. they were just mystic entities that perhaps couldnβt find their way to the other side like they were intended, and if the rumors were true, the maitlandβs were in the same predicament, and you felt like they just needed time and space without the pestering of realtors or dumb kids knocking on the windows to see if a ghost would pop outβ deserving of a proper chance to figure it out.
except your boyfriend wouldnβt understand that either.
βbabe cβmon!β he pleaded with you, a distressed look on his face. βi thought you liked creepy ghost shit?β
you scoffed. βyes rin but not to fucking break in and steal their things! what the hellβs the matter with you?!β
rin groaned and rubbed his eyes, his friends obviously annoyed and bothered by your defiance and it only made you feel awkward, sitting there on your desk chair in your college dorm and guiltily picking at your black nail polish.
βy/n we literally cannot go if you donβt go.β he pushed. βwe need your ghost brain to tell us if theyβre around so we can scram if they decide to kill us.β
you snorted, already aggravated by rinβs lack of respect and wholeheartedly believing dumb stereotypes.
βyouβre committing a crimeββ
βthe house is abandoned! no one gives a shit!β he threw his arms up. βbabe cβmon iβm serious itβs getting late and weβre losing time.β
why wasnβt he listening?
βwhat are you looking for anyways?β you mumbled.
βmoney.β he replied, grabbing his black bag and swinging it over his shoulder. βthatβs literally it i wonβt take anything else.β
βdo you swear?β you peered up at him. βdonβt take jewelry or any of their things just money and we get out.β
βyeah we wonβt! right guys?β
rin looked over both of his shoulders to ensure that his friends agreed, them muttering and sighing as you gnawed at the inside of your cheek and feeling embarrassed for some reason, slowly standing and crossing your arms.
you never liked his friends.
βand leave me out of it okay?β you spoke. βwe could get kicked out of college for this i donβt know how youβre not worriedβ¦β
he swung a heavy arm around your shoulders and nudged you on, you stumbling a bit as he basically had a lock around your neck on your way outside.
βtheyβre not gonna care y/n.β he dismissed, unlocking the car and his friends piling in the back while you settled in the passenger seat. βnobody will. itβs abandoned.β
the entire way there you were aggravated and guilty, rin and his friends babbling on about the valuable things theyβd hope to find and the kind of ghosts they thought would appear, not a single person in the car an actual believer of those paranormal rumors as they poked fun and teased, your forehead against the glass of the window and miserable as rin drove up the steep hillβ the night chilly and so dark that you could barely make out the shape of the house until you were just about to pull up to the driveway.
rin turned off his headlights and tuned down the radio to avoid drawing attention, steering wheel shifting a little to the right so the car could gradually round over and stop next to the front steps of the porchβ rin shutting off the ignition once he parked and stuffing his keys into his pocket.
and you could immediately feel a presence even from outside the house, your arms stiff and tingly as you all quietly got out of the car and made your way to the stairs, dry dirt crinkling beneath your shoes as you tried to swallow back your nerves knowing that at any moment you could all be fucking arrested.
βare you sensing ghosts?β rin whispered, a sly teasing grin on his face as the floorboards of the porch creaked with your movements, his hand reaching and jiggling the doorknob.
βyeah.β
his eyes snapped over to you. ββ¦really? yeah right.β
βno iβm serious.β you whispered back. βwhat did you bring me for if youβre not even gonna believe when i tell youββ
βokay! okay iβm sorry.β he apologized, though it didnβt seem genuine as he patted your back. βi believe you trust me.β
βwaitβ she said thereβs ghosts?β one of his friends piped up. βhow do you know?β
you went to answer but rin beat you to it.
βsheβs a psychicβ¦ i guess.β he unzipped his bag and pulled out a mini tool kit, a mix of screwdrivers and bobby pins inside. βshe can sense them.β
βoh my godβ¦β another one mumbled, all of his friends eerie now. βrinβ i thought you said those rumors were bullshit.β
your eyes narrowed. βyou said that?β
βno!β i mean, technically yes butββ he took two bobby pins from the kit and put the rest of the box away, hunching down to lock pick the knob. βyou guys really think any of that is real? itβs just the neighbors man theyβre boredββ
βpeople here donβt just make up rumors like that rin.β you cut him off. βthe majority of winter river is elderly and in retirement why the fuck would they be making upββ
βbecause theyβre old and boredββ
the lock released a prominent click and rin tested the doorknob again, this time it turning all the way and opening as he pushed it wide, you all proceeding cautiously and it somehow being colder inside than it was outside as the group shined their flashlights around every corner and space, not bothering to tell your boyfriend that the presence you felt earlier was ten times stronger now, for rin never really believed you or just thought you were being funny whenever you mentioned things like that to him.
you had known rin since the start of college, him always the rebel dickish type as he didnβt follow directions or liked whenever people tried to tell him what to do, and how you ended up crossing paths with him and it sticking was something that was a mystery to you.
rin was everything you wanted at first.
and though he was a bit selfish, you foolishly looked past the fact and let him meddle his way into your already monotonous life, it being hard for you to make friends in the first place because of your psychic abilitiesβ always feeling like something was missing andβ¦ vacant for years growing up without any explanation as to exactly why, figuring it was just the side effects of your parentsβ passing.
but it still didnβt help when youβd accidentally partake in scaring off and weirding people out when you mentioned that you just saw their deceased relative wander by, rin being one of the first to actually stay because he didnβt believe you, choosing to turn a blind eye to something you treasured about yourself the most, stuck and left to wonder if there was ever someone who did.
but turning a blind eye to just your psychic ability became him turning a blind eye to everything about you, and you felt like he never really listened to what you had to say or cared, often switching the topic back to himself or giving you a series of βmhmβsβ and βyeahβsβ to get you to move on.
you didnβt feel seen anymore, but you loved him still for some reason.
βwhere do we even look?β one of his friends whispered, the lot of you traveling as a group through the entry room and down the hall to the kitchen.
βwherever you think a money bank would be.β rin mumbled, leading you all and going round to the living room, his flashlight shining over dusty furniture and spiderwebs. βi think itβd be better if we split up. half of us can take upstairs and the others can look through the kitchen, y/n and i are gonna dig through here for a bitββ
βwhat?β you spoke, his friends nodding and walking off to their designated areas. βrin no i told you iβm notββ
βoh my god babeβ would it really hurt you to just peek in some freaking drawers? let me know if something looks like it has money in it alright?β
he stepped over to the middle and crouched by the coffee table, opening and closing several compartments. βbe useful please.β
you scoffed. βyouβre the one who dragged me here and i told you i wasnβt getting involved.β
βyouβre not.β he mumbled, standing back up and going over to a big brown dresser on the side. βjust look at shit and donβt touch anything. tell me if you see money.β
you rubbed your cheek in exhausted frustration, thinking itβd be better to just mindlessly look around to appease him as you caught and stared at the photographs over by the fireplaceβ a wedding portrait of whom you assumed to be adam and barbara maitland propped up amongst others of family and friends, your fingers raising to gently wipe away the dirt and grime from the glass to get a clearer look of them.
you felt awful that their lives were taken from them just when they had built such a loving foundation for it, and you felt even more awful that rin and his stupid friends were invading their space and stealing in the way that they were with no sense of respect.
a sudden loud thud from upstairs made you and rin stop in your tracks, the both of you unmoving as you tried to listen.
βiβm gonnaββ you gnawed at your bottom lip. βiβm gonna check upstairsββ
βno absolutely not.β rin shook his head. βitβs probably just my friends itβs fine.β
βif itβs the maitlandβs your friends arenβt gonna know what to do besides shit themselvesββ
βokay yeah sure.β he laughed, opening and closing different drawers from top to bottom. βitβs the house babe itβs old and worn out. maybe theβ wood or whatever is acting up.β
you pursed your lips, arms crossing and apprehensive as you stood next to him, knowing with everything in you that the maitlandβs were definitely still present.
βcan we please just go rin...β you asked softly. βplease weβllβ weβll find a different building thatβs actually abandoned and doesnβt have the maitlandβs still hereββ
he scoffed. βy/n this one is abandoned.β
βbut itβs only been three months!β you exclaimed. βi donβt wanna do this to themββ
ββoh sweet! thereβs a rolex in hereββ
βno!β you snatched the watch from his upheld hand and backed away towards the fireplace. βyou swore to me just money these are their thingsββ
βy/n theyβre dead! who fucking cares? all of their shitβs gonna be donated might as well pawn it.β
βyeah for your own benefit right?β you mumbled, pushing past him and walking down the hall. βiβm going home.β
he looked at you baffled. βare you serious? over a dumb watch?β
βrin youβve gone back on everything you promised and youβre not taking me seriouslyββ
βdid i take the watch? no i didnβt so stopββ
βiβm not talking about just the watch!β
βyou know what?! fine!β rin shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out his keys, chucking them at you and hitting against your chest as you scrambled to catch them. βgo wait in the car.β
you threw them back and they hit his upper arm, his eyes narrowing at you in return as he then bent down to grab them from the floor.
βiβm not waiting in the damn car iβm walking home.β
βyouβre walking?β he shook his head. βback to your dorm? thatβs gonna take you like an hour y/n.β
you shrugged.
βfine go i donβt give a shit.β rin muttered and rolled his eyes. βyou always do this manββ
you didnβt bother to stick around for anything else he had to say as you trudged on down the hall and back to the main entryway, tears brimming your eyes at the lack of care he had for you and scolding yourself for the thousandth time for staying with him, trying to understand why he was like this with you when all youβve ever done was be patient and give him the benefit of the doubt when he didnβt fucking deserve it.
it was hard for you to tell if he even loved you anymore, and you always psyched yourself out that he did whenever heβd barely just accomplish doing the bare minimum.
upon arriving at the front door, you placed the rolex gently on a lonesome night stand by the coat hanger, your hand reaching and turning the knob to step outside until another loud thud shook through the walls, and louder this time as you pulled back and craned your head to look up the stairs.
muffled voices seeped from the top as they gasped and whispered to each other to shush, you recognizing some to be rinβs friends with irritation and worry simmering in your brain, wondering if they were messing with the maitlandβs things and stealing what they werenβt supposed to steal, as they were just as uncaring and selfish as rin was throughout the time that youβve gotten to know them.
and with that in mind, you let go of the doorknob and quietly walked up the stairs, every creak and groan from the wooden slabs underneath your feet making you wince as you went further and further until you reached the top, you sighing as you saw that the maitlandβs room door was wide fucking open and with snickering inside.
but with each step that you took to get closer⦠the more prominent the goosebumps on your arms became and the heavier the feeling in your gut grew, a strange apparent flickering light from your right blinding your vision for a moment as you stopped and turned to look.
your eyes slightly widened, a neon lime green foggy light practically oozing from the attic staircase as it streamed over half of your frame, luring you in with your body mindlessly and curiously walking towards it and up the rugged squeaky stairs, fingers quickly reaching up to swing the attic door open and halting in alarm once you did, the green aluminous light from earlier completely encasing you entirely now as you stepped forward inside the attic.
the door swung and slammed itself shut suddenly, you jumping and spinning around with hurried hands coming up to pull and tug at the knob, breathing irregular upon realizing that it wouldnβt fucking budge and was somehow jammed with no explanation as to exactly howβ
βboyfriend troubles?β
βoh my god!β you screamed, hand flying over your heart as your eyes snapped to the source, a tall lanky man standing there with a little grin and vibrant pale blue eyes that only utterly confused you, his vertically stripped black and white suit peculiar and unique as your frantic eyes darted over his figure.
you knew for a fact that the strange man before you wasnβt adam maitland, for the way he looked now didnβt match the pictures you saw in the newspapers at all, you swallowing thickly and slowly backing up against the attic door with your heart dropping straight down to your ass.
who the fuck was he? was heβ was he a spirit? because if not thereβs a random man literally just basking and relaxing inside theβ
βrelax! relax jeez you look like youβre about to vomit sweets.β
sweets?
βare you dead?!β you blurted, hand scrambling behind you for the doorknob. βare youβ are you alive how are youββ
he laughed loudly and wiggled his little index fingerβ scrunching it up and down to elicit a βyesβ and finding your skittishness a little funny.
βyup! so dead very dead.β
βoβ ohβ¦ okay...β you spoke softly, tense shoulders gradually relaxing as you gave him a small timid smile, relieved that he wasnβt a freaking squatter and doing god knows what up in the attic.
βyou seem happier to see a dead man rather than a live one...β he looked at you amusedly. βyou like ghosts? scary stuff? haunted houses? handsome me?ββ
you nearly choked on your spit at his last comment, an awkward smile wobbling across your face as you played with your fingers.
βiβ i um..β you looked around, your eyes catching a book titled βhandbook for the recently deceasedβ sitting neatly on a dusty table by the door. βyou could say that.. butββ
you hesitated, the manβs head tilting to the side as he waited for you to continue.
βbut what pretty?β
you blushed furiously, never having met a spirit so forward before.
βsorry butβ how did you end up here?β you stood on your tippy toes to peer over his shoulders and around the attic. βand where are the maitlands?β
βoh, those lousy goodie two shoed meanies?β he mumbled, pouting and bitter as he crossed his arms. βbeats me..β
you laughed a little, guard slowly coming down as he didnβt seem or feel like a bad person to you, and you thought that perhaps he was in the same boat as the maitlands and was just trying to find his way to the other side.
βwhy are they meanies?β you smiled, and he reciprocated, arms falling to his sides.
βwellβ iβm kind of being held in the attic against my will by theβ holy shit wait!β
he threw his hands out in front of him and took quick stride full steps towards you, a wild excited expression on his face and you stiffening up again, backing up against the door.
βyou can help me!β
βhelpβ¦ you..?β you squeaked.
he vigorously nodded. βyeah! the butthead caseworkers down in the netherworld banned me from leaving the atticβ¦ but you can give me a little leg room in my contract sweets!β
netherworldβ caseworkersβ bannedβ
βhuh?!β you exclaimed, brows furrowed and utterly confused at everything he was fucking saying.
youβve only ever seen spirits from afar or casually talked to them about something fleeting before they went on their marry way, but never in your life have you met such a complex soul that was so animate and asking you for a favor straight off the batβ¦ as spirits usually justβ knew what they were doing and eventually figured out how to get to the great beyond.
so the subject of caseworkers and the netherworld and whatever the fuck else he was rambling on about was something you were not familiar with.
βi did something they didnβt like.β he gave you a boyish half smile. βso they did some ritual thing and now i canβt leave the attic.β
you frowned. βwhy would they do that? what did you do?β
he waved you off and swung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you forward with him towards a huge 3D model in the center of the room that you barely just noticedβ intricate and detailed and colorful as your brain put two and two together and figured out that it was a model of the entire city of winter river.
βdonβt worry about it! but i overheard juno telling her assistants not to say my name three times or else iβll be let out to roam around the houseββ
juno? whoβs juno?
ββand thatβs why i really need you sweets because iβm dying in this fucking atticβ¦ way more than i already am.β
you blinked at him. βiβve neverβ iβve seen spirits all my life and iβve never had any of them tell me about caseworkers? and juno? whoβs juno?β
βthe rule is that the land of the living isnβt supposed to know.β he pursed his lips and dropped his arm from your shoulders, picking up the book that you had spotted earlier and passing it to you. βsays it in the handbook.β
you timidly took it from him and flittered through the pages, old and crinkly and a little worn out as the gist of the pages you saw was a guide for those beginning their post-livelihood and the steps they needed to do soβ from waiting rooms in the netherworld to being assigned a caseworker to help you out to the great beyond and so forth, your eyes falling on a particular page and catching specific line.
βlive people ignore the strange and unusual.β
they do. wrongfully they do.
and since people had been ignoring you out of fear your whole life⦠did that mean you were strange and unusual too?
βwhat?β the unknown man spoke, softly as his blue gaze switched between your solemn expression and the book, shifting his position to stand right next to you and see what you were looking at.
βoh sorry!β you laughed it off, closing the book and placing it down. βnothing i was justββ
ββlive people ignore the strange and unusual?ββ he repeated. βwhat about it?β
you shook your head and sent him a small smile. βnothing! i was just lookingββ
βjust because you can see spirits doesnβt mean youβre strange or unusual.β
you stilled, eyes big as you watched the way he froze up over what he said, sheepishly relaxing after a moment and lifting an arm to pat over your head.
βsorry pretty. i can read and manipulate minds and i poked in yours...β he looked at you apologetically. βitβs another reason why they threw me in this shit hole.β
he dropped his hand then, a sincere glint in his eyes. βbut i mean it.β
βi donβt knowβ¦β you mumbled, looking down and playing with the hem of your skirt. βiβve never really had friends because of itβ¦ and i feel like that book kind of confirmed what iβve been thinking.β
you quickly picked your head up. βoh butβ itβs okay! iβm okay iβm used to it spirits are nicer anyways and iβve always been alone soββ
βthatβs not true.β he mumbled.
your brows furrowed. βwhat do you mean?β
he funnily froze up again. βwhat do i mean what?β
βwhatβs not true?β
βoh! thatβ that spirits are nicer!β he quickly sputtered. βtheyβre assholes. all of them. every single one. including me!β
you giggled at his franticness and a smile spread across his face at that, endearing as he watched you slowly cheer up.
βpeopleβs ignorance doesnβt define who you are sweets.β he spoke gently. βso donβt give them that right. you look perfectly fine to me!β
your eyes softened, wondering what the hell this man did that made the caseworkers down in the netherworld ritual him into a contract, as you were convinced it wasnβt even that bad at all and just straight up unfair, him being one of the kindest and silliest souls youβve probably ever had the privilege to come across.
βiβll help you.β
his eyes snapped to yours. βhuh?β
βiβll help you!β you spoke sweetly. βiβll say your name three times so you can leave the attic.β
βwhaβ really?!β he exclaimed excitedly, hands animatedly flying everywhere as they went from digging into his white locks to all over his suit and then thrown out to grip over your shoulders, shaking you as you giggled again. βholy shit will you actually?!β
βyeah! why not?β you grinned. βi donβt think itβs right that youβre stuck up here all alone.β
βangel! angel! youβre an angel!β he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and stuffed your face into his chest, squishing you so fucking tight and honestly holding you way longer than he shouldβve, but you not minding one tiny bit as you hugged him back and smoothed a comforting friendly hand over his broad shoulders.
βwhatβs your name then?β you muffled against his suit. βso i canββ
βahhh fuck.β he muttered. βi forgot about one thing.β
you pulled back a little. βhm?β
βi canβt tell you my name.β
βwhat?β you looked at him confusedly. βwhat do you mean? why not?β
βitβs part of the stupid contract sweets...β he sighed heavily. βbut i can give you clues! ooo!β like charades! ready?β
βoh! oβokay!β you nodded, him finally letting you go and stepping back.
βdonβt freak out.β he grinned in a silly way. βiβm about to make things show up.β
your eyebrows furrowed. βmake things show up?β
he waved his hand and a life sized fucking black bug appeared out of nowhere, landing on one of the old wooden rocking chairs in the corner of the room as it wiggled its little legs and peered around, you screaming and flying behind the strange blue eyed man while he laughed loudly and looked over his shoulders for you.
βitβs okay! just a figment of your imagination is all.β he cheesed. βbut guess now!β
βguess what?!β you shrieked.
βwhat that is!β he pointed to the bug.
you peeked an eye out from his side, the bug still gross and horrifying as it wiggled itβs antennas.
βa bug!β
βwhat kind?β
βa beetle!β
βyes!β he nodded vigorously. βokay thatβs the first part!β
βyour name starts with beetle?!ββ
he waved his hand again and the bug disappeared, a carton of orange juice replacing it instead and floating in mid air, a shiny glass cup next to it as you amazedly watched it pour its bright orange contents into the cup without spilling a single drop.
ββ¦orange juice?β you spoke softly, timidly coming around from behind him. βyour names beetle orange juice?β
βnot quite!β he made a drinking motion with his hand.
βbeetle drinking orange juice?β
he laughed. βno! youβre adding too many words pretty take some out.β
βbeetle drinking juice?β
βnope.β
βbeetle drinking orange?β
βcolder.β
βbeetlejuice?ββ
βyes!β he threw his hands out, eyes wild and excited. βyes that! and youβve already said it once now just two more timesββ
βbeetlejuice.β
βuh huh uh huhββ
βbeetleβ mmph!β
a pair of hands clasped over your mouth from behind you and pulled you back, you letting out a muffled scream as you thrashed and quickly pried their fingers away, you spinning around and fully expecting to see rin behind you with a shit eating grin and laughing in your face for scaring you.
except it wasnβt rin.
it was the maitlands.
βdonβt say his name honey.β barbara spoke first. βtrust meβ¦ donβt.β
βi meanβ are we sure about this sweetheart?β adam looked at his wife. βmaybe he isnβt all that badβ¦ hell we donβt even know for sureββ
barbara shook her head. βadam, did you not hear a word juno said? he was about to take advantage of that poor girl!β
take advantage?
you heard a scoff behind you and you turned around, a disgruntled and pissed off look on beetlejuiceβs face as he crossed his arms.
βjeez i know you donβt like me but thatβs low.β he mumbled. βi wouldnβt do something like that.β
your head turned back to barbara. βyou know who juno is?β
she nodded. βjunoβs our caseworkerβ¦ we got assigned to her in the netherworld after we died.β
βtook us three months waiting in the waiting room until she finally got to us.β adam added, chuckling in humorous disbelief. βbut all she really did was nag at us and warn us about him.β
adam pointed behind you and you turned around again, beetlejuice bitterly looking to the side with his lips pursed.
oh god.
had he been feeding you nonsense this entire time?
βwarn about what.β you mumbled, and beetlejuice snapped his head in your direction with anxious eyes.
βjuno calls him a bio-exorcist.β barbara informed you. βhe tried to illegally cross over to the land of the living and bring himself back to life.β
your eyes bulged open. βback to life? how?β
βyou switch souls with someone else through a ritual.β adam piped in. βjuno says he attempted to trick and switch souls with somebody that was alive so he could terminate all who were livingβ¦ and they didnβt even know about it.β
βthatβs not true!β beetlejuice countered, utterly exasperated. βthe old hag made that up!β
he quickly walked towards you, taking your hands in his and looking at you pleadingly.
βplease sweets youβve gotta believe me i never wanted to kill anybodyββ
you ripped your hands away and glared. βso this entire time youβve been lying, playing some hopeless victim so you can poke into my head and find out shit about me to use to your advantage?ββ
βno! no iβ i havenβt been lying about anything itβs juno!β
βjuno.β you repeated coldly. βand whatβs she lying about exactly.β
βabout killing the living!β he threw his hands out in emphasis. βshe literally pulled that out of her ass when her and her minions banned meββ
βand what about tricking that person to switch souls with you so you can come back?β
he faltered, words completely failing him and guilty eyes looking into yours so deeply that it nearly made you feel bad for yelling at him.
βthatβsβ¦ thatβs true.β
you let out a breath of disbelief and barbara put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently and comfortingly as she looked at you with caring eyes.
βwe donβt know what to believe either honey.β she began. βitβs a lot of he said she saidβ¦ but itβs better to be safe. he tried to get us to say his name three times too in exchange for his help.β
you quirked a brow. βhelp? what do you guys need help with?β
βyour buddies downstairs.β adam sighed. βtheyβre stealing our things and just messing up the houseβ¦ but weβve been watching you and we know youβve been trying to get them out and so have weβ¦ horrendously though.β
βoh my godββ you slapped a hand over your gaping mouth. βi totally forgot about them! iβm so so sorry oh my god i canβt even begin to explain to you how embarrassing this is iβve been telling them to stopββ
barbara laughed and waved you off. βitβs alright! we know sweetheart. but weβre not frightening enough to scare them off whatsoeverβ¦ so thatβs what we were trying to get his help for.β
βand i still can yβknowβ¦β he muttered. βeven though you hate me.β
βi donβt hate you juno does.β she crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one side of her hip. βadam and i are lost we donβt know whatβs going on and we canβt even read that thing for the recently deceased.β
βweβre just trying to get them out of the house sonβ¦β adam finished off.
and in that moment you felt like you were the one responsible for this. that if you had bitched about it harder, even screamed at rin to get him to stop or damn near called the fucking cops on them so that this wouldnβt be happening right nowβ¦ the maitlands wouldnβt have to suffer and struggle like this every waking day to protect their home and what rightfully still belonged to them even after death.
because the maitlandβs roaming around and producing shadows and figures and scaring the realtors and prospected buyers off wasnβt just for shits and gigglesβ¦ but to try and keep what was once theirs and feel a sense of normalcy for the life they once had.
that was their great beyond. their home.
βiβll get them to leave.β you smiled at barbara and adam. βi donβt care if i literally have to start fist fighting with his friends this is so unfairββ
βwait! areβ are you sure sweets?β beetlejuice interjected worriedly. βyour boyfriendβs kind of nuts and i canβt help you once you leave the atticββ
βiβm sure.β you mumbled, still bitter and annoyed at him. βcanβt be anymore nuts than you basically trying to kill someone so you can prance around alive againββ
βi already apologized to the entire netherworld nation for that!β he argued. βbut if you ask me, if itβs so bad then they shouldnβt have put the fucking instructions in the guidebook.β
βjuno says guidebook reveals to you what you want most.β adam spoke. βbecause barb and i didnβt see a single page that had to do with thatβ¦ mostly just tips on how to scare the living.β
beetlejuice closed his eyes exhaustedly and shook his head. βdoesnβt matter. iβm not trying to trick anyone right now i just want to get out of this damn atticββ
he looked to you again. ββplease say my name three times pretty iβve poked in your boyfriends head and heβs looney i donβt want you toββ
βiβll see you guys in a sec!β you walked over to the door and left a sputtering frustrated beetlejuice behind. βif nothing works iβll literally just take my boyfriends keys and drive the car down the hill, he freaks over that thingββ
your voice trailed off as you walked down the creaky stairs of the attic and down the hall of the second floor, the maitlands main bedroom coming into view as you tried to get a script together in your head as to what exactly you were gonna tell rin⦠but your footsteps quickening at the sound of loud yelling and laughing coming from inside the bedroom, sounds of glass shattering and moving furniture making you panic as you practically stumbled in from the doorway.
and your heart stopped, rin standing there with a crow bar in his hands that he got from who the fuck knows where, smashing multiple vases and porcelain jewelry cases and stuffing his pockets full of anything that looked shiny and valuable in his eyes, the mattress and blankets thrown over to the side and the mainlandβs things just completely ransacked as you took it all in.
βrin!β
he jumped and spun around, brows pinching upon seeing you standing there.
βwhat are you doing here? i thought you left?β
βwhat the fuck?!β you gestured to the broken shards on the floor and strewn about articles of clothing. βwhat the hell is wrong with you?!β
βcalm down babe itβs fine.β he turned and smashed another small jewelry case, you scoffing in response. βitβs all useless shit thatβs gonna dust overββ
βget out.β
he snorted. βuh huhββ
βiβm serious rin get out.β you spat. βall of you.β
βyeah like iβd listen to you.β he spoke harshly, eyes narrowed and sharp as he turned again. βgo wait in the fucking car or go homeββ
βiβm calling the cops.β
βwhat?!β
a series of protests and worrisome comments erupted in the air from the group, all thrown directly at a fuming rin as he chucked his crow bar to the sideβ it clattering on the wooden floor as he hastily trudged over to you and gripped your upper arm, yanking you with him and out of the room into the hallway by the stairs.
βwhat the fuck do you think youβre doing huh?β he spoke lowly and in your face. βembarrassing me in front of my friends like that?β
you shoved him off. βget out and find another building or iβm calling the cops rin.β
βyeah and if you do that iβm telling them youβre a shitty psychic medium so they can throw you in the shrink.β
your jaw dropped.
rin was being meaner than usual.
βwhy are you like this.β you mumbled. βi donβt even know why iβm still with you youβre an asshole and youβre patheticββ
he got in your face again and grabbed your jaw, pressing you up against the railing of the staircase and damn near throwing you over as the edge of it dug into your lower back, your fingers gripping his arm and struggling to pull him away from you while his friends quietly gasped and silently watched in shock.
βpathetic? me?β he laughed humorously. βyouβre the one who doesnβt have anything or anyone besides me and yet you still treat me like this you ungrateful bitchββ
βrin okay thatβs enough dude let her goββ
βyou wanna shut up? or do you wanna trade spots with her?β his fiery crazed eyes switched over to his friend, him only cowering under rinβs intense stare and shaking his head no, diverting his gaze and you still squirming and tugging for your freedom.
βgetβ off meββ
βor what?β he pushed you further back and your breath hitched, your feet off the ground now at this point as one of your hands shot out to grip the railing for support. βyou gonna call your ghost friends for help? go ahead i wanna see you do it you lyingββ
βbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice!β
a thunderous roar broke out into the air, actual lightning and black smokey fog spreading over the ceiling and around you as rin instantly let you go and looked around, all of his friends in a pure state of fear and alarm as they lost sight of each other amongst the suffocating mistβ including you as you frantically tried to look for a clear path out, unable to decide if you regretted what you had just done.
βnever seen a man with such a power trip!β a booming voice echoed through the house that you quickly recognized to be beetlejuiceβs, the walls vibrating with each word. βseems to me like itβs all bark and no bite!β
βwhat did you do y/n?!β you heard rinβs distant yelling from somewhere you couldnβt pinpoint, the air cold and prickling at your skin. βwho did you call?!β
βa god!β beetlejuice excitedly answered. βachilles preferably! wait actually heβs a demigod not aββ
βwho the fuck is achilles?!β
the air cleared in the center suddenly and revealed a petrified rin, wide eyed and angry as he whipped his head around to try and figure out what was going on.
βyou donβt know who achilles is?β half of beetlejuice popped out of nowhere from above the fog and his friends screamed at the mere size of him, for he wasnβt the normal looking man you saw before but a borderline monsterβ huge and crazed as he looked down at rin in particular with a scary grin.
but his eyes were still a fascinating sparkling blue, oddly familiar in a way as you watched the scene before you through the black air, beetlejuice continuing.
βread a book your stupid is showing.β
he lunged while simultaneously popping his eyeballs out of their sockets with his tongue out, cartoonish and terrifying as his friends yelled for help and scrambled to try and leave, struggling though the smothering mist as you placed a hand over your mouth in shock.
beetlejuice sucked his eyeballs back in and blinked to adjust. βwhat? you guys scared too? shouldnβt have been so mean to my little sweets over there then!β
they all looked to you and you froze, rinβs gaze narrowing.
βhis little sweets?β he clenched his jaw. βthe hells he talking about?β
beetlejuice didnβt know why rin was so dumb for even attempting at getting near you again after everything he did and saidβ his footsteps quick and stompy towards you until he straight up smacked into an invisible wall and doubled back with a hand over his nose, your brows pinching in confusion.
you timidly reached a hand out, expecting your fingers to touch an invisible barrier except there wasnβt one at all as they fell through completely over nothing, your arm slowly retracting back to your chest.
you looked up at beetlejuiceβs huge figure, and he gave you a bright cute smile that made your cheeks heat up.
βthis is bullshit!β rin roared, wiping his bloody nose with the back of his hand and pointing at you after. βyouβre a goddamn nutcase y/n! what kind of show are you putting on huh?!β
βme?!β you shot back. βmaybe you should stop being a dick for once in your life and listen when i tell you things you idiot.β
βyup!β beetlejuice quipped. βdoll if youβre still with him after all of this iβm gonna have to start haunting you in your dreams.β
your gaze switched to beetlejuice and you laughed, a little glint to his eye as he watched you shake your pretty head.
βi was gonna dump him the minute i got him out of the houseββ
βwhat?!β rin barked. βdump me? for what?!β
you scoffed. βare you serious? what do you mean for what?β
βfuckβ babe okay iβm sorry alright? iβm sorry iβm just a little overwhelmed right nowββ
βyouβre a sack of shit.β beetlejuice spat. βand call her babe again and iβll start the engine of your car and ram it through a tree.β
you snickered and rin swiveled around to face him.
βwhy donβt you stay out of this freak and leave my girlfriend aloneββ
βsweets iβll make him go away if you marry me.β
you choked, flustered and stiff as you looked at him, bewildered out of your mind.
βhuh?!β
βpretty pleeaaseee.β he dragged. βyou saying my name got me out of the attic but not the house itselfβ¦ but if you marry me iβm a free man!β
βhow does thatββ you let out a shocked breath. βhow does that even make senseββ
βmarry me.β
βbut i!ββ
βmarry me thatβs my condition.β
βhold on!ββ
rin dove at you with the full intention to grab you and pull you away, but eyes widening in terror as an invisible force practically grabbed his ankle and sweeped him back and away from you, dragging his body across the wooden floor and over to beetlejuice, his friends having enough of all of this and making a run for it down the stairs.
βoh! i almost forgot about you guys!β
beetlejuice nudged his head and they were sent flying back just like rin, all of them screaming and pleading for mercy as their bodies dragged across the floor and returned to him.
βwhich of you should i gobble up right nowβ¦ iβm feeling the one on the far right! heβs trembling like a little leafββ
βplease no!β he cried. βiβllβ iβll do anything! iβll leave iβll neverββ
ββand iβll save rin for the very endβ¦ best for last right?!β
they all wailed and clawed at the foggy air, your body unmoving as you tried to figure out if beetlejuice was actually being serious.
βplease man!ββ
βiβm sorry iβm so sorry!ββ
βdonβt apologize to me you doofuses.β another invisible force grabbed them all by the ankles and pulled them up, dangling them upside down. βapologize to her. then maybe iβll spare youβ¦ howβs that sound?!β
βy/n! please! iβm sorryββ
βweβre sorry dear god!ββ
βy/n!ββ
βputβ put them down!β you wavered. βthatβs enough itβs okay! jesus..β
βawww already?!β beetlejuice pouted. βbut i havenβt even started swinging them around yetβ¦ like a little ferris wheel! heh.β
you slapped a hand over your mouth to suppress a laugh once rin and his friends started wailing in fear again, you shaking your head and smiling at him.
βitβs okay! next time! just let them go iβm sure theyβll runββ
βy/n, it seems like you understand meβ¦ youβre the only one that hasnβt bitten my head off in the entire three years that iβve been dead!β
you laughed again. βiβm glad! now put them down pleaseββ
βso be my wife then.β
βbeetlejuice!β
βwhat?!β he whined. βyou donβt wanna be my lawful wedded wife?β
βno!β wellβ justββ
βis it because iβm dead?β
βput them down and iβll consider it!β
βyes maβam!β
the invisible force dropped them and they slammed against the hardwood floors, each and every single one of them fumbling to get their things that flew out of their pockets while upside down and scurrying away, hurried footsteps stomping down the staircase as they tripped over their feet to get to and out the front door, you observing in amusement and slight guilt, leaning over the edge of the staircase to watch them go.
and the second that they did, the stuffy black fog lifted and felt immensely lighter, it dispersing into the air above you as it thinned out to a mere silly mist, cold and wet to the touch and similar to the air youβd feel after a long days worth of rainfall and cloudy weather, slow strides coming up from behind you as you saw beetlejuiceβs shiny raven leather dress shoes out of the corner of your eye, you standing upright and turning to him.
he smiled warmly at you.
βthank you.β you grinned, bashful as he reached and fixed up your hairβ hands smoothing over your head and down before his fingers lightly grazed and played with the ends of your strands.
βyouβre welcome.β he murmured. βthank you for getting me out of the attic sweets!β
you kindly nodded.
βsweetheart, are you alright?β
you looked back and saw the maitlands, barbara walking up with outstretched arms and pulling you in for a hug.
βthat boy was insane!β she pulled back and held you out at an arms length by the shoulders. βwe tried so hard to intervene while he was yelling at you but weβre uselessβ¦ they couldnβt see us.β
you giggled. βno itβs okay! really you didnβt need to i wouldnβt ever wanna put you guys in that position.β
βhoneyβ he almost pushed you off the railingβ¦β adam spoke softly. βif you hadnβt called for beetlejuice lord knows what he wouldβve doneβ¦ he was so aggressive and we were worriedβ¦β
your heart warmed, never in your life having been so cared for and looked afterβ funnily enough that you were receiving that sacred feeling from beings that were dead rather than living and it reminding you a little bit of the way your parents were with you when you were young, when they were still alive.
βweβre sorry for being so hard on you kidβ¦β barbara sighed, gaze shifting to beetlejuice. βmistakes happen. iβm sure your passing was something you werenβt expecting like us.β
βoh! no itβs okay donβt.β he smiled brightly. βi almost killed a man i understand.β
βbut we understand too.β adam added, and you felt like he was also referring to something you had no clue about as he had a particular look in his eyes, something that was only amongst them three. βi wouldβve considered the same.β
beetlejuice swung an arm around your shoulders and looked down at you.
βso are you my little wife?β
βokayββ barbara laughed. βnot that you know thisββ
βadam! barbara!β
a sudden shriek boomed through the house and beetlejuice instantly pulled you behind him, waving his hand and an invisible force sending you further away until your back gently bumped against the wall, panic rising in your chest as the same black fog from earlier returned and swirled around you, blocking your vision.
was he⦠was he hiding you? what for?
βjuno!β beetlejuice greeted, laughing awkwardly. βheyy long time no see!β
oh.
βzip it bozo.β
from the cracks and openings that you could see through the whirling wind, a proper old lady in professional office attire stood there with her arms crossed, a pissed off look on her face as she tapped her heel against the floor and played with the pearls around her neck.
βwhat did i tell you two about letting him free?β she scolded. βheβs a loose cannon! heβs not to be trusted!β
βi know i know weβre sorryβ¦ we just really needed to get those kids out! and theyβre gone! and beetlejuice seems alright!β barbara looked to her husband, a desperate flicker in her gaze. βright adam?β
βyes! uh uh!β adam stepped forward and sighed softly. βplease junoβ¦ heβs just a kid. heβs learned and what he did was three years agoββ
βwhat he did couldβve cost me my job and set my entire office up in flames.β juno lectured, pointing her wrinkly finger at beetlejuice next. βyou broke a million undead laws and have hundreds of violation codes on your record. your punishment was to stay in the attic for eternity.β
eternity?
oh god no.
βbut now iβm gonna have to send you to live inside mr. maitlandβs winter river model and you better stay there!β
βwhat?!β beetlejuice scoffed. βjuno please thereβs gotta be a way i can lift those violations?β
βiβm afraid there isnβt.β she seethed.
βpretty please?β
βno.β
βwith a cherry on top?β
βabsolutely not.β
βnot even probation?ββ
βnot even probation! youβre gone!β
your eyes blew open as you watched juno extend an arm out and move it to the side, a bright white blinding light encasing her entire figure and you quickly pushed a hand through the black fog and grabbed the back of beetlejuiceβs suit, everything around you scarily blurring out and disappearing and you squeezed your eyes shut, arms reaching out to wrap around his upper torso as you buried your face in his back.
you didnβt want him to goβ¦ not at all. and the thought of him stuck inside a model forever like that all alone terrified you.
you understood why he was punished in the first place, but why couldnβt juno just see that he was good? that all he was trying to do was come back to life and live? something many other souls would also kill for?
hadnβt he been punished enough already? he stood stuck in that attic for three god damn years straight with no means of escape whatsoever, and now he was shamefully being sent to live inside a styrofoam cardboard model that was far worse than that stupid attic, for now he couldnβt be seen by anyone even if he truly wanted to be.
had that not been enough? enough of a sign to reconsider his contract?
why couldnβt he just be given a second fucking chanceβ
βpretty?β
you opened your eyes, forehead quickly detaching from his back and looking up, his piercing blue eyes staring down at you worriedly from behind as he shifted his body a little in your hold to face you.
βwhat are you doing here i thoughtββ his surprised gaze shifted over to the way you were clutching onto him, and he relaxed, smiling a little.
βyou grabbed me baby?β
βiββ you let him go and stepped back, your cheeks a vibrant pinky shade. βyβyeahβ¦β
he turned around fully.
βwhy?β
βbecauseββ you bit your bottom lip, peering cutely up at him.
βbecause i thought we were getting marriedβ¦β
beetlejuiceβs expression dropped and he stared at you wide eyed, his face reddening at your words.
βi donβtβ i donβt understandββ
βwhat?β you giggled. βi thought you proposed to me earlier?β
βi did! yes i did!β he rapidly nodded. βbutβ but are you actually serious?β
you nodded. βmhm! i am!β
βyou can say no sweets honestly itβs okayβ¦βbeetlejuice spoke softly with pinched brows. βiβll cry myself to sleep and shrivel up but i can handle it donβt worry about meββ
you laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. βi wanna marry youβ¦ i wanna set you free.β
you walked over to a little bench, the feeling of you stepping on rubber and glue a little weird under your feet as you sat down and smiled, gently patting the spot next to you.
βiβm not letting you stay here forever by yourself, not when youβve been doing that already for years.β you murmured, him taking a seat next to you with a yearn-full but apprehensive face.
βyou deserve to do the things you want to do and see the things you want to seeβ¦β you looked at him so sincerely and loving that he felt his undead heart throb. ββ¦ and if i can help you in anyway to get you there i donβt care what it is. i canβt think of anyone more deserving of freedom than you.β
βyouβre so pureβ¦β he softly took your hand, yours warm and pumping in comparison to his cold and stiff one. βyou always have been.β
he stared at your hand still, his index finger delicately tracing over the faint markings of your working veins underneath your skin, trying to remember what they looked like on him when he was alive, and if they ever looked as precious as yours did.
beetlejuice raised your hand and kissed it, eliciting a fuzzy blush to your cheeks.
βi think weβre meant to be.β
you faltered slightly, for you felt a rush of deja vu hit you like a stifling wave.
βhave we met?β you teasingly asked. βbefore you died?β
he laughed and shook his head.
you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, beetlejuice still tracing the lines and indentations of your hand before you spoke up again.
βi have a question.β
his content eyes switched to yours before they looked back down. βyes sweets?β
βis your name really beetlejuice?β
he weirdly stopped, and you quirked a brow.
βitβsβ¦β he swallowed. βitβs not.β
βoh what the?β you paused, a little puzzled. βwhere did it come from?β
βjuno.β he snickered. βthe old hag said it fit how bizarre and stupid i was, so she put it in my contract.β
βoh my fucking god.β you mumbled. βwhy the hell would she do that? thatβs cruelβ¦ youβve already paid the price for what you did the least she could do is address you by your given name.β
beetlejuice laughed cutely, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you.
βthat woman doesnβt care babyβ¦ so donβt sweat it.β he lifted a hand and ruffled your hair. βand if you ask me, she needs to retire immediately. likeβ yesterday. all she does is fucking nag at me and the rest of her damn clients.β
you giggled.
βso whatβs your name then?β
βnot important! now i say we figure out a way to get out of this rinky dink modelββ
your eyes narrowed.
βwhy wonβt you tell me your name?β
ββor maybe we should just stay and make ourselves at home!ββ
βyou wonβt tell your soon to be wife your name?ββ
ββoh! oh! i can manifest a little jacuzzi in the middle of the cemetery thatβs neatββ
you slapped a hand over his mouth and he stopped, your pleading little eyes making him guiltily melt against your hold.
βyour name.β you urged softly, lowering your hand and revealing a little frown that he had on his lips. βplease.β
βiββ he blinked, utterly remorseful. βi canβtβ¦ i canβt tell you my name.β
your brows pinched. βwhy not? is part of your contract?β
βnoβ well yes.β he sighed deeply through his nose, and you wondered why he looked soβ¦ strained.
βitβs not their contract, but my contractβ¦ with you.β
you froze.
βwithββ you struggled. βi donβtββ
he rubbed his tired sunken eyes.
βitβs okay sweets but thatβs all you need to knowββ
βno.β you replied firmly. βwhat i need to know is your name.β
he dropped his arms and shook his head desperately. βy/n please i put that contract on you to protect you ifβ if i tell you my name youβll be hurt and i donβt want thatββ
βwhat do you mean?β you bitterly scooched away from him on the bench and he stubbornly moved closer, eliminating the distance you had created.
βi lied when you asked me if we had met.β
your heart dropped.
βbecause we haveβ¦ and iβ i wanted you to forget me so i took away your memories and if i tell you my nameββ
he swallowed hard.
ββ¦ itβll break the contract. and youβll remember me again.β
you stared at him, his regretful tortured gaze so anguishing that it was almost unbearable to watch him endure it, wanting to mend it instead, something that already felt so right and easy to you and in no way shape or form unfamiliar.
slowly, you reached up and cupped his cold cheeks in your hands, bringing his forehead to rest against yours.
βbut i want to remember youβ¦β you murmured. ββ¦please let me.β
his pupils worriedly shook as they darted all around your striking features, his name practically hanging off the edge of his tongue but his throat physically unable to get the words out, for his dead heart was pulling and fighting with his vocal chords to prevent him from doing so, everything within him wanting to save you from memories he had to live with even after death.
but the other part of him was filled with such intense longing for you that it effortlessly slipped between the cracks of his defensive wall of not telling you his nameβ¦the relentless feeling going straight to his heart and mind and strangling the fuck out of it to get a formidable yes instead.
he wanted the life he once had. more than anything.
βsatoru.β
something snapped in your brain and you flinched back, memories flooding through your mind faster than the speed of light as you recollected each and every moment in your existence, for the sentiment of vacancy and like a specific thing was just missing in your life was finally put back in its rightful placeβ for the thing that was missing in particular was him.
satoru gojo.
there were images of meeting him when you were both itty bitty in middle school under a magnolia tree, him sporadic and silly and making you laugh so hard on the third day of school that strawberry milk blew out of your nose and all over his clothes, satoru not having a care in the world as he cackled along with you and thought the way you made liquid come out of your nose was cool.
and there were images of the both of you becoming the best of friendsβ never one without the other as you pulled pranks on your teachers and ended up in detention together almost everyday, your parents utterly done with you as you never seemed to get it through your head how to behave, the both of you brushing off your scoldings and lectures because you had each other to endure all of it with.
and you saw how much he cared about you.
how he would physically fight and yell and reprimand anyone who called you a freak, anyone who spread rumors about you and your psychic medium abilities as he constantly reminded you everyday that your gift was sacred⦠a treasure while he wiped your tear stained cheeks and cheered you up after another day of your classmates poking fun at you, him saying that your skills were the coolest and how much he wished he was just like you, how much you both were meant to be as he loved ghost stories and scary stuff.
you saw how you fell in love too.
and it didnβt take long either, as your stolen glances and teasing turned into much more as soon as you grew and went to high school together, the both of you making it official literally your freshman year despite the apprehensions from your parents on both sides because of how young you were.
but it never proved to be an issue, you and satoru not once stumbling over a hiccup since the two of you had built such a strong foundation of genuine friendship and care before you blessedly fell in love, satoru throughout your years together absolutely smitten over you as he always passed you silly notes during class that had a gazillion hearts scribbled all across with your name in the middle, telling you all of the time just how much he loved and cherished you to the point where you had to funnily push him away from you to get him to stop smothering you, you always giving in anyways due to the fact that you were just as smitten, physically unable to go a day without him, and him still physically unable to not iterate how you were meant to be.
satoru understood you, satoru listened to you, and satoru believed you whenever you would speak on your psychic gift and how you had spoken casually to a spirit just the other day, him always interested and unbelievably amazed at everything you had to say as he bombarded you with fifty questions and begged you to teach him how to see spirits too.
he was respectful and supportive of you through it all.
especially when your parents died.
satoru wouldnβt leave your side. he refused to as you tried to piece together what the fuck had just happened, their accident so sudden and weird that it never made sense to you and still didnβt to this day.
and you grieved of course, cried and weeped and clung to satoru like a moth to a flame, feeling alone and without your biggest support systemβ without your loving peculiar parents that gave you your priceless gift in the first place, him accepting your tears with open arms as he encouraged you to let it all out and was worried for you when it seemed like you had moved on rather quickly from it.
but it was simply because your parents werenβt afraid of the afterlife. it was because your parents had talked so much about it and taught you everything that they knew, that you were convinced their souls peacefully made it through to the great beyond straight away and together, for you never saw their spirits roaming around aimlessly after and feeling eternally grateful for that, your whole life being about acknowledging and embracing the mysteries of life after death.
the knowledge of knowing they were at peace was enough to get you by for a little while.
satoru continued to check in on you about it though... even when it was the end of your junior year and nearing a year since their passing, his parents kindly taking you in after the ordeal and making satoru sleep on the floor and you taking over his bed since they didnβt have an extra room, satoru doing it without even needing to be told and you thanking all of them any chance you got for their amicable kindness and tried to pay them back, satoru checking in on you every night with a series of timid βare you okayβsβ and βare you happyβsβ before going to bed, your arm dangling off the edge so you could intertwine your fingers while you slept.
you were never alone like you thought you were. ever.
because of satoru.
and he made it obvious that he wanted to marry you too, that he wanted to have you for the rest of his life and didnβt give a single shit if you were both only 18 and barely starting college, him deeming it pointless for the both of you to pretend like the hope of marriage wasnβt there just for the sake of shutting up his parents, as every time he brought it up you stammered and blushed and fidgeted and he only giggled at you, telling you it would happen soon, to be ready, and to sit pretty and patient until the right time came.
except it never did.
because satoru gojo died a year later following that on halloween, precisely on his way over to your dorm when he was snatched by an unknown man and murdered in the middle of the night, you stuck wondering what had happened to him and why he wasnβt answering the phone when he was hours late to come get you, your chest on fire and aching as the feeling in your gut was weirdly excruciating, a part of you completely torn away and lost and you had no idea why until the very next morning.
and he had to watch you mourn. properly this time and not at all like the way you did for your parents, as this time it was fucking worse, painfully and all alone and for no way for him to get to you and comfort youβ to tell you it was okay to cry and that he loved you, to tell you to be happy, to be hopeful for the future and hopeful to the thought of spending the rest of your lives together and being meant to be.
but instead he had to watch you wail and scream in your pillow every night with no saving, clutching his clothes and things and picture frames, you making yourself sick as the grief was too much to bareβ everything that your parents had said to you and taught you about the afterlife meaning absolutely jack shit as the workings of supposed fate took away the only thing that ever made you happy.
satoruβs dream was to live with you. and it was taken away from him so brutally that he went absolutely nuts in the netherworld.
because yes he violated every single fucking undead law in the book and jumped over restricted gates and strange passage ways and doors, shoved through emotionless security guards, ignored junoβs warnings, and yes he tricked a living human being so he could exchange souls with himβ
all for the sole purpose of getting back to you.
it was always for you.
and now, him sitting next to you with an anxious waiting expression, your body and mind now feeling the effects of not having seen him for three entire years and the way your conscious mind grieved for him and his return, his skin sickishly pale and cold but still so handsome nonetheless⦠absolutely broke you.
it broke you as you let out a strangled hiccup and covered your mouth tightly with both hands, eyes squeezing painfully shut as you reeled over and wailed with a broken heart, for you were mourning the loss of him all over again.
βbaby no pleaseββ he quickly caught you and brought you to his chest, his breathing erratic and with the biggest lump in his throat. βsee? i didnβt want you to remember iβ i wanted you to forgetβ
you continued to bawl and borderline scream out in agony, his words meaning absolutely nothing at this moment as your mind wouldnβt quit flashing painful memories through your mind, memories that were once entirely missing as they suffocated you with displays of satoru in his grave over and over and over again.
βi canβtββ he frantically looked around for something, anything that would make you feel better before looking back down. βlook at meββ
βwhy did you leave?!β you wailed, pushing him away as the sight of you drowning in your tears ripped him to shreds. βwhy did you abandon me toru?! why did youββ
βiβm sorββ his voice gave out and he placed a hand over his heart, tears slipping from his eyes. βiβm sorry iβm so sorry iβ i never wanted to leaveββ
he reached out and tugged you in again, your body slumping against his as he struggled over his sobs.
βi didnβt want to die i tried so hard not to dieββ
his words only made you cry harder as he gripped you tighter and shut his mouth, his frame trembling against yours and his tears trickling down and wetting your hair.
βyou left me! you were supposed to comeβ hicβ to come get me! you were supposed to marry me!ββ
you were babbling mindlessly at this point, your shattered heart taking over the words that were tumbling out of your mouth as you gripped and clawed at his suit, trying to bury yourself in his skin and stay there where you belonged.
he was too cold. and you couldnβt hear a heart beat.
satoru could only cry and bawl with you as he gently rocked you side to side, knowing that there was nothing he could do to make you feel better, and nothing he could do to come back to life.
no matter how much he wanted it.
no matter how much you wanted it.
this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
βi tried so hard.β he mumbled. βi never stopped trying to get to you thatβs why juno hates me so much because iβve violated fucking everything.β
he pressed his lips to your forehead and laid his cheek on it after.
βi got sent to the attic and i couldnβt look after you anymore and i didnβt even get the chance to let you see me eitherββ
besides the fact that he took your memories, that explained why you never saw his spirit after he died, and you quickly pulled back again and narrowed your bloodshot eyes at him.
βwhy did you take my memories i neverβ hic!β i never asked you to i never wantedββ
βbecause i didnβt want you to grieve over me prettyβ¦β he gently wiped your cheeks while you cried. βyou were hurting so much and it was torture watching you suffer like that.β
you sniffled and wiped your eyes with the base of your palm.
βi wanted to see you happyβ¦β satoru finished off.
βwas i?β
he dropped his hands and frowned.
βwere you?β
βno!β you muttered. βmy entire life iβve felt like something was missing and i didnβt know whyβ¦ like thisβ this block in my brain that i couldnβt figure out and it was always just empty and like something was supposed to be there.β
you tucked your hair behind your ear and solemnly looked down, a pulsing headache racking through you from how much you were crying.
βi had to live with the fact that i was alone and that i never had anyoneβ¦ and i had accepted that tooβ¦ only this entire time i did have someone. you.β
and oddly enough, through everything that happenedβ all of the memories that you now remembered and the devastating death of your late boyfriend, you finally felt a little bit less strange and unusual.
because you always thought that something was wrong with you for feeling the way that you did, for craving somethingβ someone that never existed, for wanting to fill the void that you now know satoru once happily sat in, all of these things now officially clicking into place and bringing you the weirdest sense of peace you had probably ever felt.
βi wish you never made me forget.β you mumbled. βyouβre worth remembering toruβ¦. even if it hurts me.β
he guiltily nodded and sniffed. βmβsorryβ¦ i thought you were better off forgetting.β
a part of him still does, because the small glimpses he caught of you no longer crying and just simply living after he took your memories away, was enough to bring him a tiny sense of relief just before he got banished to the attic, hopeful that you would live a long and happy life even if it was painfully without him.
but the minute he sensed you coming up to the house earlier that night with him thinking he was going absolutely insane and if it was truly you, was also enough to send all of that out the fucking window and falling back into a pit of despair and longing for you when he finally saw you againβ for the first time in three years, looking just as pretty as he remembered and a little more grown up.
you slowly shook your head side to side, lifting your arms to wrap around his neck and him immediately responding, snaking them around your waist and pulling your warm beating body flush against his chest.
βdo you still love me?β he murmured. βeven though iβm dead?β
you slightly snorted, softly kissing his cheek.
βiβll always love you toru. wherever you are.β
βiβll always love you.β
he pulled back and gently smiled, eyes flickering to your soft lips as he juggled in his mind if it was okay to kiss you, every fiber of his undead being begging for it after missing and wishing it for so long, left with only recollections of your kisses to suffice through the years that he spent without you and wondering if he still had the right toβ since even though you were once his, and he shamelessly still considered you his, he didnβt know if you were on the same page.
but you were.
it would be stupid not to be.
you leaned your pretty little face closer to his, timid doe eyed gaze looking at him so fondly that it brought back that same familiar feeling he felt with you those years ago, his hands coming up and settling themselves on your warm lively cheeks, holding you like fragile porcelain.
but were his dead lips still worthy of yours? even after everything heβd done?
βtoru.β
he hummed.
βdo you remember our first kiss?β
βuh huh.β he breathed out softly. βit was in my room.β
βi thinkββ your nose brushed with his. βi think we should have our second first kiss.β
he bit his bottom lip and smiled.
βyou think so?β
βi do.β
he hummed again, his thumb gently grazing over your plushy lips.
βi think it should look a little more like the first time.β
he tilted his head to the side a tiny bit and a delicate gust of wind brushed through your hair, your surroundings now completely and miraculously morphed into his room with the both of you sitting on his bedβ just like how you remembered it and basically had grown up in as you slowly took in your surroundings.
βhow the fuckββ
he laughed a little, lifting one hand and keeping the other still on your cheek, his index finger lightly tapping the center of your forehead.
βmind manipulation pretty.β he grinned. βcool huh? i poked in your head again.β
βyeah!β you giggled. βvery cool.β
βyou know what else would be cool?β
βwhat?β
βif you gave me a little kiss.β
you tilted your head to the side and leaned in again, your breath fanning across his face and your lips so close but not quite that it was fucking excruciating.
βyou want a kiss toru?β
βuh huh.β
βhow badβ mmph!ββ
satoru didnβt even let you finish that sentence as he stuffed his tongue in your mouth greedily, wet and messy kisses smacking through the room as he cradled your jaw, cold lips delving all over yours and him giddy over the sensation of your warm mouth in comparison to his, your hands clutching his blazer and making out so sensually as you made up for the time that was stolen from you.
and the only thing the two of you felt in each others arms then was serenityβ one pumping, working heart and the other stiff, unmoving and cold, still equally beating for one another even through the restrictions of death, for satoruβs heart continued to move and love you regardless of how lifeless it may have appeared.
he suddenly pulled away, breathless.
βsweets?β
βyeah?β
βwhere in the actual fuck did you meet rin?β
you laughed, pulling back a bit to look at him with a regretful look. βknowing what i know now, iβm sick to my stomach toru.β
βdid you meet him after i died?β
you nodded. βhe was in one of my literature classesβ¦ and since back then i only remembered living my lifeβ alone, i guess he was the first person that didnβt make me feel that way. at the start.β
βlame.β he mumbled. βyou cheated on me sweets.β
βno!β you laughed again, giving him a little pout. βhe was awful. horrendous. and i only stayed because i didnβt wanna be alone againβ¦ even though i shouldnβt have.β
you leaned and gave him a soft tiny lingering peck.
βdid you love him?β he murmured against your lips, and you shook your head.
βremembering you again made me realize what being in love with someone was supposed to feel like.β you reached and brushed through the front stands of his white hair mindlessly. βand it was no where near what i felt for rin. i didnβt feel anything for him actually.β
he pursed his lips to the side, eyes squinting in thought and distaste.
βhmmmβ¦β
you giggled. βwhat toru?β
he hated that you got associated with a guy like that, and hated even more that rin was kissing and hugging and touching you whenever the fuck he wanted when you were his first.
βiβm gonna haunt him for the rest of his life.β
you playfully rolled your eyes and nudged him. βhonestly? do it. he sucks.β
βand you know what else sweets?β
you quirked a little brow. βwhat?β
βiβm gonna make you forget!β
βtoru!β you giggled. βno more taking memorββ
satoru leaned his face closer to yours and you froze up, wide eyed as a little mischevious glint in his vibrant blue gaze made you fidget.
he slowly grinned and tilted his head, lips coming closer to the side of your ear and tantalizingly hovering, arms snaking around your torso and pulling you up against him.
βdid you let him touch you pretty?β
βtβtouch?ββ
βmhm.β he gripped you a little tighter. βdid you?β
βum.β you squirmed a bit, your body turning hot in the matter of seconds. βwhatβ what do you meanββ
βdid you let him fuck you.β
your breath hitched and your cheeks went pink, hands timidly resting flat on his chest and feeling a little⦠guilty.
βmaybeββ you paused, shaky breaths blowing through your nose. βmaybe onceββ
satoru shot up to stand and hauled you with him, a squeal slipping past your lips as he hiked you up and brought your legs around his waist, walking across the room in quick strides and plopping you down roughly on his desk, kicking away his chair and it slamming against the wall as it rolled back.
βtoru?ββ
βwhy canβt i make you forgetβ¦ hm?β he grazed his lips from your jaw and up the side of your cheek, feather like as he squeezed and kneaded at your thighs, your heart fucking hammering against your chest.
βwhy would you wanna remember being with someone else other than me babyβ¦β
βiβ i donβt but you erased my memoriesββ
he pulled back and tutted, head shaking and fingers drumming against your thighs. βdoesnβt matter! shouldβve avoided them like the plague silly.β
you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him gently in.
βi wouldβve if i remembered.β
βremember this remember thatββ he smiled brightly and brought his face close to yours once more.
βyβknow what?β he cutely pecked your lips. βiβm gonna help you remember something!β
your brows pinched momentarily in curiosity. βwhat?β
βthat iβm the only man that ever gets to fuck you.β
satoru smashed his lips against yours and pulled you in tight, the bulge in his dress pants abundantly obvious as he grinded and rutted his aching cock on your clothed pussy, you gasping in his mouth at the feeling as you tried to keep up with his feverish fast kisses.
he slipped his icy hands underneath your top and you jumped at the change in temperature, satoru ravishing you up and obsessed with the heat your body produced and radiated, leaving him toasty for once and bringing a faux sense of life to him.
βdid you forget that too?β he murmured against your lips, hands ever so slowly creeping up and sliding under your bra to grope your plump tits. βhow i feel?β
βnuh uh.β you breathed out. βi didnβtββ
βtell me what you remember then sweetsβ¦β
he slid his hands back down and hiked your skirt up, you lifting your hips a little to help him bring it up as high as he possibly could, your pretty little panties tight and suffocating your pussy as his fingers came down to play with your swollen needy clit.
βi rememberββ your mouth hung open, words lodging in your throat.
βhm?β he shoved his hand in your panties and your eyes fluttered closed, him placing open wet mouthed kisses all over your neck and chest, your mind unable to grasp the amount of pleasure he was getting out with simply just his fingers, pleasure you missed so fucking badly as he slipped his digits up and down your folds.
βyour dickββ satoru pushed two fingers inside of you and you whined. βi remember the way you felt.β
βyeah?β he pulled back from your chest and grinned, fingers squelching as they pumped in and out. βand how did i feel?β
βbig.β you choked out, legs spreading wider as you gripped the edge of his desk, his frenzied lust filled eyes drinking in the way you unraveled and crumbled before him.
something he was positive rin didnβt even come fucking close to.
βaww.β he cooed, digits speeding up as you squealed and tried to close your legs, him prying them open again. βbet you missed the way i filled you full huh? stretched you out so good?β
you rapidly nodded, eyebrows contorted in ecstasy as your thighs shook.
βanything else you missed baby?β
arousal trickled down your folds at this point, making an absolute mess out of his fingers.
βyour handsβ heaveβ on my neck when youβd fuck meββ
a shiver ran down his spine at your words, his cock so fucking hard and aching as it begged him to let it spring free and bury itself in your hole.
βmy godβ¦β he whispered. βi bet your slutty little self wants me to fuck you right now right? stuff you up and make you cum on my dick like i used to?β
with each word your hole was clenching and screaming for his cock, your hands quickly shooting out to pull and unbuckle at his belt, him laughing as he continued to finger your pussy while loosening up the collar of his tie.
βyouβre so needy.β
you pouted, embarrassed as you pulled your hands away and brattily tugged at his wrist to take his fingers out.
βi take it backββ
βno!β he quickly yanked his belt off and flung it, his fingers unzipping his pants and taking out his solid dick. βhell no please i need to be inside youββ
he lined his cock up and without warning pushed, your hands flying to grip his shoulders for support and crying out at the mere size of him, his dick icy in between your gummy walls that somehow added a whole new wave of pleasure for you.
βhard toru.β you whined. βplease i canβtβ iββ
βi know baby i know.β he gripped your hips and snapped his hips up, your moans fueling him as he plunged in your hole and took no time in fucking you in just the way he knew you liked it, proud of the fact that your pussy still took every single inch of him like heβd trained youβ almost like she recognized whose dick was actually for you and not some other fucking morons.
βyouβre not screwing anybody else anymore, you hear me sweets?β he tapped your cheek to get you to look at him, you completely dazed and fucked out as you tried to hold eye contact with him amidst his drilling cock. βshouldβve only been meβ¦ living or dead i donβt care.β
you nodded dumbly, you leaning and kissing him sloppily and desperately that you muffled his next words, refusing to detach from his mouth.
βdid youβ mmphβ let him cum inside?β
you didnβt answer, not because you were afraid to, but because his dick was silencing you as you hiccuped and spasmed with every slam of his hips, satoru a horny goner and pinning everything all on you even when it was literally his fault he erased your memories in the first place, fuming over the thought of you tainted by another man that he wanted to perform a full fucking cleanse.
he rammed inside of you faster against the desk as you separated from his lips and clamped a hand over your mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
βdonβt tell me you let him cum inside you little slutββ
βi didnβt!β you heaved. βi didnβt i didnβtββ
βgood baby!β he cheered, a complete contrast to his menacing tone from seconds before. βso you do love me.β
βi do! i love you i love you i love yoββ
his unbeating heart soared.
βyou love me?β
βuhβ hic!β uh huhββ
βeven when iβm dead?β
you nodded vigorously, feeling your orgasm starting to bubble up in your tummy as you choked and squirmed.
βperfect my sweet little thingβ¦β he cooed once more, him literally lightheaded over the way you clenched around his cock. βmake a mess all over me baby iβve been dreaming of your cute cunt for three fucking yearsββ
you wrapped your arms around him by the neck again and moaned, burying your face in his neck as he placed two palms on your bent knees and spread your plushy thighs further apart, jack hammering you and so mean about it as you shook violently against him and came, heaves and sobs of pleasure racking through your body as he threw his head back and groaned.
βyou want me to cum inside you?β he asked. βfill you up just like i used to?β
βyes! please pleaseββ
βoh fucking well.β
he pulled out of you and your eyes bulged open, his dick shiny and covered in your juices as he grabbed your upper arm and yanked you down on your knees.
βyouβre gonna suck me off and swallow what i give you for letting rinβs filthy hands on you.β
satoru tapped his dick against your cheek to get you to open up, you listening and opening your mouth as he shoved his cock inside and placed a hand on the back of your head, fucking your mouth as you choked and gagged on his length and loving every second of it.
βgoooddd baby.β he whispered, your slobbering so nasty as he watched drool dribble down your chin. βso goodβ¦β
you gulped him down and lathered your tongue around while he used you, his balls swollen and twitching and him needing to dump his cum in your mouth for you to swallow.
βremember when we used to do this every night?β he smiled wickedly. βwhen iβd make you swallow me up?β
you hummed around him and tried to nod, eager for his release and wanting to show him that you in fact did rememberβ wanting it just as bad as you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked him harder.
βhβ oh my godββ he fisted your hair and shivered, letting you take over and milk him for all his worth. βiβm gonnaβ jesus baby slowβ slow down slow downβ hah!β
satoruβs release shot to the back of your throat and you choked, blinking back tears as you gradually slowed your pace and continued to deliciously suck him through his orgasm and gulp down his cum, him with a death grip on the edge of his desk as he heaved and swallowed, hips jittery and twitching away from youβ tip now overly sensitive.
you licked up the last of his cum and stood back up, shimming your skirt back down and satoru shakily stuffing his softened dick back in his pants and zipping it, eyes softening once you reached up and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his over your waist and squeezing you gently.
βso youβre telling me.β you began. βthat you havenβt had sex in three years and you fucked me like that?β
he snickered and smoothed a hand over your back. βitβs my instinct sweets! and also because iβm sure rin did a horrendous freaking jobββ
you laughed and rolled your eyes, kissing his cheek before looking at him fully.
βiβm serious you know.β
he raised a brow. βabout what?β
βabout marrying you. even more so now.β
and just when he was about to pick you up and spin you around and jump up and down, he stilledβ face sickishly paling more than it already was.
because satoru was keeping something else from you⦠a condition between the living and the dead and one he overlooked entirely because he was selfishly desperate for you and just wanted you with him again, like the way he had you when he was alive.
βwhat toru?β
βhuh?β his eyes snapped to yours, and he quickly shook his head. βoh nothing nothing!β
his mind was frantically pushing it to the back, ignoring it and wanting to go through with the one thing heβd practically been dreaming of his entire living and dead lifeβ marriage with you.
this was fine. this was okay.
right?
βwhite or black.β
you tilted your head. βwhat?β
βyouβll seeβ¦ but choose!β he grinned. βwhite or black?β
a slow giddy smile grew on your face.
βblack.β
satoru waved his hand and you stilled, the clothes on your skin changing and morphing into something completely anew, your eyes landing on his black and white button up suit now and head quickly dropping down to yourselfβ gasping once it registered in your flabbergasted brain.
you were wearing a black wedding gown, beautiful and classy as you picked up and felt the soft silk material between your fingertips, your tule sheer veil intricate as you looked behind you thenβ it long and stretching for what seemed like miles across the floor with gorgeous embroidery at the base of it.
it was heavenly.
your gaze snapped back to his, and he smiled fondly, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers.
βthree times.β he murmured, and you picked up on what he was referring to, tightening your grip on his hand and nodding.
βbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.β
and the room spun around you, so astronomically fast that you almost doubled over in stifling nausea as the wind whipped through your hair and veil, expecting to land in the attic and finally outside that damn model when in reality, you were in a church cathedral as soon as your surroundings had stopped spinning⦠and one that looked exactly like the one in winter river.
βare weβ¦β you looked around. βare we still in the model?β
he shook his head. βnope! i was focusing my mind here when you were saying my nameβ¦ weβre in winter river baby.β
you smiled, the atmosphere around you soft and serene as the dimly lit candles around you quietly flickered, a random lilac colored hue across the cathedral and one you assumed was placed by satoru himself as he took your hands in his, almost in a haste too, but choosing to brush the observation aside.
this was wrong⦠and satoru knew it.
but he pushed it to the back of his head again.
βwe are gathered here todayββ
βshit!β
you jumped and whipped your head to the side, breathing out and shoulders relaxing once you saw it was just your churchβs pastor that youβd known since birthβ a strange far off look in his eye that you deemed to be something that satoru did, for there was no way he was up at the crack of fucking dawn right now to do a wedding.
βsorry!β you laughed. βis heβ¦ is he okay?β
βoh yeah heβs fine! heβs actually still sleeping.β he let go of one of your hands and patted the pastors head. βiβm manipulating his head for a little bit. just until youβre my wife.β
his wife.
you nodded, cheeks so warm as you tried to refrain from jumping over how excited you were at the thought of finally fulfilling the vows you had placed on each other when you were youngβ them now nurturing into something real.
βdearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the love of satoru gojo and y/n y/m in holy matrimony.β
he shouldnβt do this to you.
βtoday, they declare their intention to build a life together, sharing their joys and their challenges, and supporting one another in pursuit of their dreams.β
he canβtβ he canβt build a life with youβ¦ can he?
he pushed his worries back again and gripped your hands tighter.
βdo you, satoru gojo, take y/n y/m to be your lawfully wedded wife? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?β
this is wrong.
but he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.
βi do.β
βand do you, y/n y/m, take satoru gojo to be your lawfully wedded husband? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?β
for as long as you both shall live.
satoru canβt live.
βi dββ
βstop.β
you froze.
βwhat?β you asked worriedly. βwhatβs wrong?β
βiβm no better than the man i was when i first died.β
the look in his eyes was⦠odd, and it only further confused you.
βi donβtββ
βi canβt let you marry me baby.β
your heart dropped.
βwhat?β
βi told you that if you married me it would break my contract and i would be a free man and thatβs trueβ¦β he began. βbut thereβs something else that i didnβt tell you... iβ i kept it from you.β
oh fuck.
βwhat are you talking about toru.β your voice was low and heedful, almost like a warning to him, and he wanted to slam his head against the wall for being so fucking reckless again.
βif youββ he breathed in and shook his head, letting go of your hands and letting his fall tight at his sides, balling up. βif you marry me, youβre freeing meβ¦β
he gnawed at his lip.
βbut iβm killing you.β
your blood ran cold and drained from your face, words entirely at a loss and useless as your brain tried to process what the fuck he just told you.
kill you?
βmarrying me is like exchanging your soul with the dead.β satoru slowly shook his head. βyouβll die sweetsβ¦ i canβtβ i canβt do that to you.β
satoru was desperate to for you, so much so that he was willing to hide such a detrimental part of the marriage clause until the time came, choosing to play freaking stupid and tune it out in the hopes that in the end, he would be brave enough to go through with it just to keep you and not ever have to say goodbye again.
but it was wrong. so incredibly immoral and wrong and he felt like a monster for even trying to do it, for letting it go as far as it did and have you standing there in front of him in your pretty gown and veilβ just like how heβd imagined it when his blood was pumping and his heart was beating, and just like how heβd imagined it even now, shriveled up dead veins and all.
this is what fate had chosen for the two of you.
and though it took forever for satoru to accept it⦠you and him were simply not meant to be.
for you were meant to live, and satoru was meant to die.
βyou disgraceful bafoon! you insolent crook!β
the big doors of the cathedral kicked open and juno walked through, adam and barbara maitland running behind her and trying to pull her back, the both of them spouting reasonings and explanations.
βthis is her choice juno!ββ
βshe wants to let her do it!ββ
βthe kidβs just in love!ββ
βbutton it or iβm sending you back to the house!β juno grumbled at them, turning back around and pointing menacingly at satoru once she reached you both, her brittle old lady perfume wafting in your nostrils.
βjuno!β satoru greeted with faux cheerfulness, eyes wide and alarmed. βgood to see you hah! you look livelier than the last time i saw yββ
βwhat the hell do you think youβre doing boy?β she spat, eyes switching to you next. βand you! young ladyβ this man is a spirit!β
βiβi knowββ
βjuno they know each other.β barbara spoke up gently. βthey grew up together when he was alive.β
βyes they were in a relationship this isnβt him trying to trick her into anythingββ
βno but it is.β satoru exhaustedly whined, cutting adam off as he ran his hands through his snowy hair. βshe didnβt know about the clauseβ¦ i just told her now.β
silence.
βyou didnβt tell her about the clause?!ββ
βare you out of your mind you cockroach?!ββ
βyouβre doing what you did before!ββ
βi know!β satoru exclaimed over the yells of scolding and belittlement. βi know i know thatβs why i told her just nowβ¦ iβm not letting her do it iβ i couldnβt.β
he turned to you.
βbaby i want you. i need you and thatβs why i didnβt say anything like a fucking dingbat because iβm tired of living forever without you... it sucks.β
you felt tears prickle at your eyes.
βbut this isnβt fair to you at all. you deserve to live manβ¦ i canβtβ i wonβt drag you down with me.β
βtoruββ
βthe living and the dead were never meant to coexist.β juno interjected, her gaze looking at satoru sincerely for once that it was a strange sight for him.
she placed a hand on her chest. βiβm sorry that your love was separated by death, truly. i sympathize with you. i canβt think of anything more cruel.β
you both solemnly nodded.
βbut the living and the dead were never meant to coexist.β she repeated. βso even though you two move on from this and go back to being what you are, satoru will stay like this and you will not. you will grow.β
juno addressed you directly and you listened with a heavy heartβ the use of satoruβs actual given name now from her instead of βbeetlejuiceβ adding a layer of somber seriousness.
βand letβs just say this clause didnβt exist and you get to marry her and she stays aliveβ¦ satoru will still stay and you will grow. do you both understand what iβm trying to say?β
you quickly wiped the corner of your eyes, satoru peeking over at you sadly.
βi wonβt tell you what i think the right choice is young lady.β she continued. βthe dead arenβt even supposed to associate with the living like thisβ¦ but weigh the consequences of either path and see which one you want to walk in.β
she stepped a bit closer, holding eye contact with you.
βbut let me make one thing clearβ the power of the living is greater than the dead. if you choose to marry him, you will break his contract forever and free him of his violations. but if you do, you will die and be one of us.β
either path is difficult.
to sacrifice his freedom, or to sacrifice your life?
but you knew that a life without satoru was nothing and bleakβ¦. you had lived it for three years.
were you willing to return to that? just to keep your heart beating? and say goodbye to satoru for good?
you didnβt want to live in a world that didnβt have him in it. you didnβt want to live in a world where you remembered satoru for longer than youβd known him, and the thought only made you absolutely sick to your stomach as you envisioned the rest of your life without the person who knew you best.
it was almost easyβ¦ you didnβt have to weigh the consequences at all.
your path was satoru.
βweβre getting married.β
βwhat?!β satoru frantically shook his head. βno sweets no weβre not.β
βyes we are.β you pushed. βthis isnβt for you to decide itβs my choice and i choose youββ
βand iβm not letting you.β he countered. βyouβre choosing wrong so unbelievably wrongββ
βbut iβm not though!β you argued. βliterally explain to me right now how me stuck in a world that doesnβt have you in it is better thanββ
βy/n you need to live.β he cut you off. βi died, not you itβs not supposed to be you alright? i canβt let you do this.β
tears slipped from your eyes and you wiped them right away.
βdo you notβ sniffβ do you not want me do you want me to go away whatββ
βnoβ¦β he stepped forward and cupped your cheeks. βthatβs the last thing i want and you know thatβ¦β
βthen why wonβt you marry me?β you hiccuped. βwhy wonβt you let me stay with you?β
βbabyβ life is so unbelievably precious.β he moved strands of your hair away from your face. βdo you have any idea what i would give to have it again? to feel my body actually working for a change instead of it just being nothing?β
you continued to cry, your hands clutching his wrists.
βi donβt want you to take that away from yourself because of meβ¦ i want you breathing. i want your little heart pumping and your cheeks warm, i want you to move on.β
βiβ hic!β i donβt want to move on from youββ
βyou have to sweets.β he quickly wiped his eyes before cupping your cheeks again. βweβre not meant to be baby and i hate so much that we arenβtβ¦ and iβm sorry.β
βtoru stop itββ
βplease live for me okay? for the both of us. and donβt forget me either please donβt forget meββ
βwhy are youββ you harshly wiped your eyes. βwhy are you talking like that what are you doingββ
βi donβt think i should be around you anymore baby.β
βhuh?!β your eyes narrowed. βare you serious?β
βsatoruββ
juno raised a hand, stopping barbara from interjecting.
βit wonβt be good for either of us if i stick around...β he sniffled. βi need to stay away from you because if i donβt, i might try to trick you again into giving up your soul and i canβt have that.β
βmy soul?β you spat. βtake it i donβt want it without you i told you alreadyββ
βplease try to understand.β he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. βplease.β
βnoββ
βiβll see you soon okay?β satoru let go of your face. βgraduate please. have kids and get married and stuffβ¦ travel.β
you were supposed to do all of that with him.
βsatoru no listen to me!ββ
βi love you.β
βstop!ββ
satoruβs grief was monumental, but his love for you was greater, choosing to let you go for the sake of your life.
he looked to juno and she sighed through her nose, somehow knowing exactly what he was silently asking for, stepping forward and lifting a hand.
βsatoru please i wanna stay with you!ββ
juno sharply moved her hand to the side and you were pulled to a blinding white abyss, dream like and fuzzy as you felt all muscles in your body relax, your mind completely blank and free of the heartbreak and loss and sorrow for a little, floating through a cloud of soft serenity as it brought you in and tried to clear the pain in your heart.
you werenβt aware of where you were or what juno had done, but your thoughts were distant and muffled as you let it engulf you entirely in its welcoming arms, you sleepy and drowsy until the blinding white abyss slowly shrunk down to a pure black, quiet void, the nerves in your body twitching little by little until you were finally consciously aware of your limbs and mind, but you too tired still to open your eyes.
you cruelly dreamed of satoru still. of him alive.
and you werenβt sure how long you had been in this weird pit of tranquility, or how long you were asleep for until you were jerked awake and ripped from it entirely.
βheyβ y/n?β
you shot awake, sitting up and whipping your head around.
you were back in your dorm.
βare you okay? why are you sleeping on the floor?β
you looked up, your roommate standing there with a weirded out expression.
βand what are you wearing?β
your gaze shifted downward, and the minute you saw your black wedding dress and veil folded neatly next to you, memories of what had happened hours prior came achingly flooding in as you scrambled to stand up on your feet, scaring your roommate and leaving her to grumble in her head about how she wished the system didnβt put her to room with the campus ghost girl.
βsorry! i have to go thank you though for waking me uββ
your voice trailed off down the hall, you running through and ignoring the weirded out looks from other students as you sprinted out of the building and down the street, engulfing the skirt of your gown up in your arms so you wouldnβt accidentally trip over it and eat shit on the ground, the goal of getting back to the maitlandβs house the only thing on your mind as you ran.
your lungs burned by the time you got to the bottom of the hill, and you thanked anyone that was willing to listen for allowing winter river to exist as the smallest town you had ever known, sparing you from running a full fledged marathon just to get to the house as you heaved and tried to catch your breath, a little sweaty and hot as you began the hike up the hill.
you hoped he was there.. in the attic.
you hoped to god that he was.
reaching the top, you continued to trudge across the dirt driveway and up the porch steps, your foot lifting and just about to make contact with the old wooden platform until an invisible force grabbed your ankle and pulled you back, literally dragging you away from the house and down the hill over the grass as you screamed and thrashed for it to let you go.
satoru.
and you tried again, hiking up the hill with your bundled up wedding skirt in your arms, reaching the top faster than last time and choosing to run up the porch steps instead to see if you could outrun his ghostly abilities.
except you couldnβt, because the invisible force caught you by the ankle again just as your fingers grazed the doorknob, yanking you away and down the hill until it left you screaming and huffing in frustration at the bottom.
you continued to do that for the rest of the fucking day, and everyday for that matter, for an entire week straight.
walking up the hill, reaching the top, getting reeled back, running up the hill and getting sent back down again, sprinting for it only to get dragged away once more as the repeated cycle you had set for yourself happened over and over, until by your last attempt you couldnβt even walk up the hill anymore, satoru having put a huge invisible wall around the house that was impossible to get through.
you were angry. angry and bitter that he was doing this.
was it so bad to just want to spend the rest of your undying life with him? is that not what he wanted this entire time? why was he so adamant on damning you to live a life of suffering andβ and loneliness? a life without him?
you didnβt know what to do. your psychic abilities were only for sensing the dead and being able to see themβ nothing to do with calling forth spirits or summoning them at any given place and time, so there was no way for you to call satoru no matter how much you wanted to or tried.
and you cried. you cried and you sobbed just like how you did when he first died, except somehow worse knowing that there was a chance to be together with him forever and him not wanting it⦠not wanting you.
but you waited anyways, hoping that he would come around and change his mind, that he would bring down that stupid invisible wall and let you inside the house and back to him, counting down the days and hours and minutes until it became clearer to you that satoru wasnβt going to change his mind.
and by the third week, you had almost entirely given up.
you felt nothing. absolutely nothing as you slugged through your classes or your day to day errands, not giving a shit about anything that you had to do in this world for you had always loved the other world moreβ the world of spirits and the netherworld and the great beyond, the world that had satoru in it, as you appreciated and admired that one more ever since you were a kid with your parentsβ¦ more than the one you were currently inβ as this one was filled with ignorance and criticism.
you felt helpless⦠and maybe satoru was right.
if he was willing to give up an opportunity to keep you forever, then maybe thatβs just the way it goesβ¦ maybe you should just accept it, and you choosing to think of the latter instead of begging and kneeling at nothing for satoru to come back and get you and marry youβ was helping the bitterness in your heart grow and get you by, it at least stopping you from crying in the middle of your lectures or the grocery store and weirding people out anyways.
maybe you should accept the fact that you and him were not meant to be.
after an entire month, you had given up.
and satoruβs grave was the closest you knew youβd get to him, permanently divided by dirt and soil and grassβ¦ six feet under and totally out of your reach, his tombstone engraved and pretty and one you couldnβt believe you had forgotten about as it sat here alone for years right under your noseβ you visiting it now for the millionth time as you placed your book bag down and sat criss crossed on the grass, mindlessly tugging and breaking off pieces of it as you sat there.
you sighed deeply and hugged your knees up to your chest, the day surprisingly a sunny one as chirping birds flittered past you through the wind, tiny little white butterflies occasionally stopping by to sit on your arm or satoruβs tombstone as you sat there in thoughtβ¦ not really sure what to think, but comforted by the fact that the engravings on his stone reminded you that he was once very much alive and real.
there was an odd wavering in your heart, and you had a feeling that this was going to be the last time you were visiting his grave, for you figured it was time to finally do what he wanted you to doβ move on and forget him.
βdonβt move on.β
you stiffened.
that voiceβ¦ was your mind hallucinating now? jesus chriβ
βdonβt move on from me pleaseβ¦ andβ and donβt forget me. i take it all back.β
you heard footsteps draw nearer across the grass and you turned your head, eyes widening and unbelieving as you saw satoru standing there with a pleading anxious expression, him still dressed in his black and white suit that he had on for the wedding.
was it actually him?
βhow are youβ¦β you trailed off, your mind having difficulty processing how he was there. βhow are you outside the house? i thought the contractββ
βjuno gave me a hall passβ¦β he explained softly. βit expires at the end of the day.β
you hummed, itching to jump up and wrap your arms around him and cling to him, but stopping yourself from doing so as you still didnβt know why he was here, and you were quite frankly still bitter and hurt from him sending you away.
you slightly turned your body. βwhy are you here?β
βbecause i canβt stay away from you.β
your heart skipped a beat as he crouched down to your level, your eyes greedily running across every feature of his face and committing it to memory, as you now had him directly in front of you again instead of having to rely on recollections of him to try and mend your aching heart.
and satoru was doing the same.
βi started to sense you distancing from me andβ¦ and i had this feeling that you were starting to listen and move on and forget me and it made me fucking ill. which is crazy because iβm deadβ¦ but i was literally ill sweets.β
you let a tiny soft smile play at your lips.
βi canβt take it.β he spoke again, shaking his head. βi canβt take the thought of you forgetting me. not now, not ever, and i donβt know why i was stupid enough to try and convince myself that i could watch you do something like that even if its the right thing.β
βyou sent me away.β
βi did babyβ¦β he reached over and gently caressed your cheek. βand i regret that so fucking much. iβm sorry.β
βtoru i need you to understand that you canβt make choices like that for me.β
βi know.β he mumbled and dropped his hand, eyes casting down. βiβm stupid.β
βbut i also need you to understand, that i have no interest in living in a world that doesnβt have you in itβ¦ itβs not worth it now that youβre gone.β
you tilted your head to try and catch his gaze, continuing once his blue eyes flickered back to yours.
βi would die for you, and i would die without you. i look for you in everything that i do and you expecting me to just forget you is cruel.β
βno i donβt want you to forget me anymββ
βwhatβs life to you?β you asked him suddenly. βwhat does it feel to you? and mean?β
he stared at you with pinched brows, his face endearing but sad all at the same time.
βwarm.β he murmured. βbeautiful andβ¦ pure. itβs peaceful and it means you.β
your heart fluttered and you smiled, and satoru fell in love with you all over againβ something you conquered when he was alive, and something you conquered again in death.
βthatβs what life is toru.β you cupped his cheek. βto me itβs notβ this.β
you gestured around you. βitβs not my body or my heart, itβs not the sun and itβs not breathing. itβs you. i feel life through you and i always haveβ¦ because life doesnβt literally mean where i am now and neither does it mean the netherworld babyβ¦ it means you and me.β
satoru didnβt even realize he was crying until you wiped his cheeks, your words serving an entirely new perspective to him about the living and the dead and he felt peace.
because yes satoru was dead⦠but he was still living. living because he had you as the embodiment of it, and living because his soul still permitted him to see you again and be with you, to look at you with his own undead eyes and feel warmth like he did before.
but not literal warmth from your body or pumping blood or a beating heart.
but warmth from your soul. from who you are.
thatβs what life was to himβ¦ and what life was to you.
satoru wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you to his chest, one hand on the back of your head as he cradled you and cried, finally now no longer mourning his past life like heβd been doing for the past three years, and no longer wishing for it back either or thinking that physically living in this world was the better option for you just because it meant you were breathing.
where he was, was just fine. and wherever you chose to go would be fine too.
but you chose to go with him, something that had been set since the moment you met under the magnolia tree back in middle schoolβ living or dead, paris or italy, your choice would always and forever be him.
satoru proposed to you right then and there at his gravesite, flying to one knee as soon as you both stood back up and him manifesting the biggest diamond rock you had ever seen in your life, laughing and crying together as he slipped it over your ring finger, for your marriage meant the binding of the living and the dead, and the binding of you and himβ a new beginning.
but this time your wedding wasnβt at the cathedral, but under the pretty magnolia tree where you had met, now accompanied by the maitlands as barbara cried, and juno as she herself officiated the wedding, you thinkingβ hoping that she grew a soft spot for satoru, and that behind her stern resting face, she was glad satoru was finally a free man and granted a second chance.
giving your soul up was nothing to you, and it didnβt hurt at all eitherβ¦ you feeling lighter in exchange actuallyβ¦ happy, with satoru standing in front of you and with a massive fucking grin on his face, shiny and bright as he practically jumped in his spot in excitement over you finally being his wife and that he got to keep youβ and right this timeβ¦ no lies or tricks or hidden secrets, but genuine authentic sacrifice instead, for it was the purest form of love.
because this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
it had decided that satoru gojo was meant to dieβ¦ but it had also decided to bring you back to him as wellβ to the house of the maitlands, to the attic he was banished to, and back together again in each others cold arms where you belonged, defying the laws of the living and the dead and proving that life doesnβt end even after your hearts stopped beating.
fate had decided that you were both meant to be. that was always a fact.
and fate had decided that you and satoru gojo were meant to live, with unbeating hearts and icy cold skin, but souls still warm for each other nonetheless.
because through sickness and in health⦠death could not do you both apart.
you and satoru.
together for eternity.
a lovely and incredibly beautiful fanart of this fic can be found here by @courtneedsleep !! <33
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @fushigurioo @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs @drftnzume @k0z3me @saelov3 @dindjarins1ut @starrnai @stilettoheelz @tinyray-lovesfood @iloveoldermenn @dazqa @applepi25 @aria-chikage @rose-tinted-kalopsia @runfrme @unofficialsapphire @dee-writes-anime @megumisluciouslashes @peachyaeger @yourstru1y4ever @yoonights @skendos @babylambdietcoke @yunstarz @dinomdubs @kalulakunundrum @s777athv @sugoroo @wastednightsonyou @miri222 @jayawaya @dazailover4ever @courtneedsleep @kcch-ns @halovianembrace @tsukuhoe @kayamor @lupicalbestwolf @therealkurapikakurta @amarahi123 @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic
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misunderstood hero with a heart of gold - mv1
summary: max verstappen has never been one to read books, but everything changes when he comes across a pretty booktuber who describes him better than anyone else did before
word count: 8.2k + social media posts
folkie radio: another one of my babies finally sees the light of day π₯Ή this fic is really special and i was lowkey gatekeeping it but i feel ready to share it, plss take care of it <3 i hope you like it
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
Max Verstappen was bored.
It was late and he was alone in his hotel room. He had a race the following day and he knew better than staying up late. His team was already on his ass for sim racing at ungodly hours of the night when he had a race, but nevertheless, he was bored and not sleepy yet.
He scrolled through his phone, not really paying attention to what popped up on his Instagram feed, Tiktok for you page or Twitter timeline.
After a few minutes, his finger landed on the YouTube app, one that he barely used if he was completely honest, but for some reason he never deleted it.
A bunch of videos showed up on his main page, most of them about F1, gaming, fitness or cats. He scrolled through the thumbnails absentmindedly until one title caught his eye: "Formula 1 Drivers as Romance Book Character Tropes."
Max had no idea how that video ended up in his suggestions page. He wasn't much of a readerβhe had only read two books in his entire life, for crying out loudβ but curiosity got the better of him. He clicked on the video.
The screen shifted to a bright and lively setup, where a young woman with vibrant energy and a contagious smile greeted her viewers. "Hey everyone! Welcome back to my channel. Today, we have a fun video where I'll be pairing Formula 1 drivers with romance book tropes!"
Max found himself smiling for some reason, he thought she was really engaging and funny β and really prettyβ. He leaned back against his pillows, more intrigued by the second.
"As some of you might already know, books are not my only passion, I'm also a huge Formula 1 fan since I was a little kid thanks to my dad, so I thought it would be fun to do a little crossover of my two obsessions."
Max grinned again, finding himself oddly invested in this unexpected combination of romance literature and Formula 1. Or maybe just mesmerized by the pretty girl who was talking on his screen.
"Let's begin with Mercedes," she said, clapping her hands together, "Lewis Hamilton is definitely our 'Charming Prince Charming.' He's got the looks, the talent, and that air of royalty about him."
Max chuckled, thinking it was a fitting description for his rival.
"Now for George Russell," she continued, "I'm going with 'The Boy Next Door Who Grew Up Hot.' I mean, have you seen his glow-up?"
Max chuckled again, nodding in agreement. George had indeed transformed quite a bit since his Williams days.
"Moving on to Ferrari," she continued enthusiastically. Max wondered if that was her favorite team on the grid, "Charles Leclerc is our classic 'Childhood Best Friend You've Always Had a Crush On.' He's got that sweet, familiar charm, but with a spark that makes your heart race every time you see him."
Max raised an eyebrow, surprised by the change in description. He had to admit, it fit Charles quite well.
"And for Carlos Sainz," she paused dramatically, "he's either our 'Older Brother's Best Friend' or the 'Bad Guy Who's Mean to Everyone but His Sweetheart', just think about it, he's got that rugged exterior, but you just know he's a total sweetheart deep down."
Max laughed, realizing she had Carlos pegged perfectly. He watched with growing interest as she continued.
"Now, let's talk about McLaren," she said with a sparkle in her eye. "Lando Norris is our 'Adorkable Comedian Who Steals Your Heart.' He's funny, relatable, and has a way of making you fall for him before you even realize it," Max grinned at the description of his good friend, "And Oscar Piastri... he's 'The Shy Genius.' Quiet, reserved, but incredibly talented and intelligent. He might not be the loudest in the room, but he's someone you'd definitely want on your side."
Max nodded in agreement, thinking of how Oscar had impressed everyone since joining McLaren. She continued pairing each driver with a character trope, she described Daniel as the "Life of the Party with a Sensitive Soul," highlighting his infectious energy and hidden depths. Pierre was dubbed the "Resilient Underdog," emphasizing his ability to bounce back from setbacks. Yuki was described as the "Fiery Spitfire with a Soft Center" and Logan was labeled the "Rookie with Untapped Potential," suggesting a character arc of growth and discovery.
With each driver's description, Max's anticipation grew. He found himself eagerly awaiting his own characterization, both curious and slightly apprehensive about how the pretty girl with an obsession with books and Formula 1 would describe him.
When she finally got to Red Bull, he sat up a little straighter, his interest piqued.
"Now for Sergio Perez," she said, "he's our 'Loyal Wingman Who Deserves His Own Happy Ending.' Always there to support, but with a story of his own waiting to be told."
Max nodded, thinking it was a pretty accurate description of his teammate.
"And finally, saved the best for last," she said, her eyes twinkling, "we have Max Verstappen."
Max held his breath, oddly nervous about how this stranger would categorize him.
"Max is our 'Misunderstood Hero with a Heart of Gold,'" she said with a warm smile. "Often perceived as cold or distant, but actually deeply caring and protective of those close to him. He's the type who shows his love through actions rather than words."
Max felt his cheeks warm significantly. This description caught him completely off guard. It wasn't the usual 'aggressive driver' or 'arrogant champion' narrative he was used to hearing. Instead, it felt... true. Uncomfortably true. He wasn't sure how to feel about being seen so accurately by a stranger.
As the video ended after she said her goodbyes, Max found himself staring at his phone screen, replaying her words in his mind, his thumb hovering over the comment section. He had never left a comment on a YouTube video before, but something about this one compelled him to break that habit.
After a moment's hesitation, he tapped the comment box and began typing, Once he was done, he paused, reading over his words. It felt strange, almost vulnerable, to acknowledge her characterization of him. But there was also something liberating about it. He added a thumbs-up emoji at the end and hit 'Post' before he could second-guess himself.
As Max set his phone down and settled into bed, a small smile played on his lips. He had a important race the following day, but all he wanted to think and dream about was the pretty stranger who had somehow seen through his carefully crafted public persona.
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liked by username1, username2 and 10,725 others
f1gossip βI went to bed early last night. Just listened to the teamβs orders, you know?β
Max Verstappen for media day today, however he left a comment on a YouTube video around 2:46 am π
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username1 HES SOOOOO
username2 the fact that he left a comment on a BOOKTUBERβS channel MAX VERSTAPPEN YOU DONT EVEN READ BOOKS π
username3 he looks so pretty tho
username4 MAX WE ALL SAW YOU
username5 max was actually checking which romance trope is him according to booktubers
username6 HES SO RANDOM
username7 maxβs search history: lestappen as fictional couples
liked by username1, username2 and 102,438 others
ynreadsbooks in honor of max verstappen x3 world champion commenting on my latest video (which is insane to say out loud wtf) should i do another f1 themed video?? any suggestions?
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username1 YES QUEEN
username2 that max comment was so random but so real
username3 max verstappen, the man who has read two books in 27 years watching booktubers was not on my bingo card
username4 @/maxverstappen1 you favorite youtuber will do another video about you
username5 BOOKS WITH RACING THEMES
username6 books inspired by f1 circuits would be fun
username7 @/maxverstappen drop a suggestion
maxverstappen1 started following ynreadsbooks
liked by username1, username2 and 15,836 others
f1gossip Max Verstappen was seen outside of a bookshop in Monaco today !
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username1 BABYYYY
username2 max ??? bookshop ????
username3 WHAT SHIFTED
username4 he thought it was jimmyz
username5 HEELPP what is he doing there
username6 hello i work there. he arrived with a list of books in hand that he wanted, he bought around 15 action and fantasy books
β³ username1 FOR REAL???
β³ username2 max said book girl summer
β³ username3 this is so random
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If someone had told Max that this year he would spend his summer break reading, he would've laughed at their faces. Yet here he was, lounging by the pool in his Monaco house, a book in his hands and a smile on his face.
As he turned the page of "The Martian," the latest sci-fi recommendation from YN, Max couldn't help but reflect on how different this summer break was.
Usually, his days off were filled with lavish yacht parties, exclusive clubs, or intense training sessions and hours of sim racing to stay sharp for the second half of the season. But now, he found himself eagerly devouring books and spending hours chatting with YN about plots, characters, and everything in between.
As the weeks passed, Max found himself growing increasingly close to YN, despite never having met her in person. Their text conversations flowed effortlessly, ranging from in-depth discussions about the books they were reading to playful banter about racing and life in general.
Max was surprised by how much he enjoyed her company, even in this digital form. Her wit, intelligence, and genuine interest in his thoughts beyond his racing persona were refreshing. He found himself sharing things he rarely discussed with others, and looking forward to her messages became a highlight of his day.
He also thought she was absolutely gorgeous.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed with a new message from her.
Max chuckled, about to reply when he heard the doorbell. He remembered Lando and Daniel were coming over for dinner. As he got up to let them in, he quickly typed a response, telling her that he would talk to her later.
"Well, well, well," Daniel's voice boomed as Max opened the door. "If it isn't the newly minted bookworm of Formula 1!"
Lando peered around Daniel's shoulder, "I half expected to find you wearing glasses and a sweater vest, mate."
"Very funny, guys. Come in," Max rolled his eyes as he stepped away from the door.
Ever since his friends noticed his brand new habit, they took it upon themselves to tease him whenever they could. As they made their way to the backyard, Daniel spotted the book on the lounger.
"The Martian?" he read, picking it up. "Isn't this a bit advanced for your reading level, Maxy?"
"Ha ha," Max deadpanned, snatching the book back. "It's actually really good. It's about this astronaut who gets stranded on Mars and has to use science and engineering to survive-"
"Whoa, whoa," Lando interrupted, holding up his hands. "Who are you and what have you done with Max Verstappen?"
Daniel draped an arm around Max's shoulders. "I think our boy here is trying to impress a certain bookish YouTuber. What was her name again? YN?"
Max felt his cheeks warm. "It's not like that. We just... talk about books and stuff."
"And stuff," Daniel repeated, wiggling his eyebrows. "Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"
Max rolled his eyes, trying to brush off their teasing. "Seriously, it's not like that. We just have a lot in common."
Daniel and Lando exchanged knowing glances before bursting into laughter.
"Sure, mate," Daniel said, patting Max on the back. "Whatever you say."
They settled by the pool, beers in hand, and started chatting about the upcoming races and their plans for the rest of the summer. Despite the playful ribbing, Max found himself genuinely enjoying their company. He hadnβt realized how much heβd missed his friends.
As the evening wore on, the conversation eventually circled back to Max's books and his little friend on his phone.
"So, Max," Lando started, a mischievous glint in his eye, "have you color-coded your bookshelf yet? Or are you more of a chronological order kind of guy?"
"Nah, mate. I bet he organizes them by how many times YN has mentioned them," Daniel chimed in, "Top shelf is probably her favorites, right Maxy?"
Max felt his cheeks flush, but he couldn't help grinning. "You two are impossible."
"When are you finally going to meet her in person anyway?" Lando said, sipping from his beer.
Max shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide the slight flutter in his chest. "I don't know. That's not something I've really thought about,"
He lied. In truth, the thought of meeting YN had crossed his mind countless times. The idea of finally seeing the girl who had captivated him with her intelligence, humor, and beauty made his heart race. He'd catch himself daydreaming about her smile, wondering if it was as warm and infectious in person as it seemed in her videos. But he wasn't ready to admit that to his friends just yet.
Lando and Daniel exchanged a look, clearly not buying Max's nonchalant act.
"Oh come on," Lando scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "You expect us to believe that? You've been glued to your phone for weeks, mate."
"I bet he's already planned their first date," Daniel leaned in, "What'll it be, Max? A romantic book reading by candlelight? Or maybe a visit to the library?"
Max felt his cheeks heating up again. "It's not like that, guys. We're just friends."
"Friends who talk every day and have you blushing like a schoolgirl," Lando teased, nudging Max with his elbow.
"I do not blush like a schoolgirl," Max protested, knowing full well that his face was probably bright red by now.
"Sure, sure," Daniel said with a wink. "Just friends. So, have you at least thought about inviting her to a race? You know, show her what you do when you're not reading about Mars?"
"Why would I invite her to a race, that would be weird," Max protested again, "And she already knows what I do, she's a fan of the sport."
"Man, you're so stubborn sometimes," Lando rolled his eyes at him, "If you like this girl, why don't you invite her to a race? It could be a great way to finally meet in person."
"And who said that I liked her," once again, Max's defensive self came through.
Daniel and Lando shared an exasperated look before turning back to Max.
"Come on, mate," Daniel said, his tone gentler now. "It's pretty obvious. We've never seen you this invested in someone before. Not to mention, you're reading books voluntarily for the first time since... well, ever."
"It's written all over your face," Lando said, shaking his head. "You like her, and there's no shame in that. You light up every time your phone buzzes. It's kind of adorable, actually."
Max sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew his friends were right, but admitting it out loud felt like a big step. "Okay, fine. Maybe I do like her. But it's complicated, you know? We've never even met in person."
"That's exactly why you should invite her to a race," Lando insisted. "It's the perfect opportunity. She gets to see you in your element, and you get to finally meet face-to-face."
"Plus," Daniel added with a mischievous grin, "if things go well, you can always show her your trophy collection. I hear that's a great way to impress the ladies."
Max couldn't help but laugh at that. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"
"Maybe," Daniel shrugged, "but I'm also right. What have you got to lose?"
Max pondered this for a moment. The idea of meeting YN in person both thrilled and terrified him. What if they didn't click in real life the way they did over text? But then again, what if they did?
"I'll think about it," Max finally conceded.
Lando and Daniel exchanged triumphant grins.
"That's our boy," Lando said, patting his back.
After a few more beers and food, Lando and Daniel left.
As the night deepened, Max found himself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The conversation with Lando and Daniel kept replaying in his mind. His phone sat on the nightstand, silent but somehow still demanding his attention.
Max's thoughts raced. Should he text YN? Invite her to Zandvoort? The idea made his heart beat faster. He imagined seeing her in person for the first time, wondering if her smile would be as pretty as it was in her videos. But doubt crept in too. What if things were awkward? What if the chemistry they had online didn't translate to real life?
He rolled onto his side, eyeing his phone. The urge to reach out to her was strong, as it always was. Max realized that Lando and Daniel were right - he did like her. A lot. The thought of meeting her filled him with equal parts excitement and nervousness.
Taking a deep breath, Max grabbed his phone. Before he could overthink it, he started typing.
Hey YN, hope I'm not messaging too late. I was wondering if you'd like to come to the Dutch GP at Zandvoort? It's the first race after the summer break, and my home race. Thought it might be fun if you could make it.
He hit send before he could second-guess himself. The wait for her response felt eternal. When his phone finally buzzed, Max's heart leapt.
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liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 286,375 others
ynreadsbooks this weekβs video will be delayed for some ~personal reasons βΊοΈ
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username1 GIRL
username2 ARE YOU GOING WHERE I THINK YOUβRE GOING
username3 f1 x books this is literally me
username4 hot girls support max verstappen
username5 ahh if sheβs going to the gp iβll be so happy bc sheβs a huge fan
username6 the way roles reversed and now max is his fan π
redbullracing We canβt wait π
β³ username1 REDBULL???
β³ username2 AHHH THEY PROBABLY INVITED HER
βββββββββ ౨ৠβββββββββ
As Max headed to Zandvoort Circuit for the Dutch Grand Prix, he felt the familiar weight of expectations settling on his shoulders.
The second half of the season loomed ahead, and the pressure to maintain his championship lead was on. He knew the team was counting on him to deliver strong results, especially at his home race where the orange-clad fans would be out in full force.
But amidst the pressure and responsibility, there was another emotion bubbling up inside him - a giddy excitement that he couldn't quite contain.
The thought of finally meeting YN in person after months of texts, calls, and shared book recommendations made his heart race in a way that had nothing to do with driving at a car at a very fast speed.
As he drove to the track, Max found himself smiling at random moments, his mind drifting to imagine what it would be like to see her smile in person, to hear her laugh without the filter of a phone call.
Max realized that for the first time in a long while, he was looking forward to a race weekend for reasons that extended beyond the track.
Unfortunately, his busy schedule kept them from meeting right away. Media commitments, team briefings, and practice sessions consumed his time, leaving him feeling frustrated and guilty for not being able to see her sooner. He sent her a quick message apologizing for the delay, promising they'd meet after qualifying.
As he made his way to the garage, a familiar voice called out behind him.
"Oi, Max! Ready for the big day?"
Max turned to see Daniel jogging up to him, his trademark grin in place.
"Yeah, should be a good quali," Max replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
Daniel raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't talking about qualifying, mate. Your special guest arrives today, right?"
Max felt his cheeks warm. "How did you even remember that?"
"Please," Daniel scoffed. "It's all you've been talking about for weeks. So, have you met her yet?"
"No, my schedule's been packed. We're supposed to meet after quali."
"Ah, saving the best for last, eh?" Daniel's grin widened, "Smart move. Nothing like the adrenaline of a good qualifying session to make a great first impression."
"Or to completely mess it up," Max muttered.
"Hey, none of that," Daniel clapped him on the shoulder. "You'll be fine. Just be yourself. She already likes you for who you are, remember?"
Max nodded, feeling a bit reassured. "Thanks, Dan."
With a deep breath, Max headed into the garage, Daniel's words echoing in his mind.
Qualifying went smoothly, with Max securing a front row start to the delight of the Dutch fans. The cheers of the home crowd were deafening as he climbed out of the car, but his mind was elsewhere.
After the post-qualifying interviews, Max sent YN a quick text letting her know that he was free now and she let him know that she was around the hospitality area.
As he walked towards there, Max spotted YN standing near one of the motorhomes, looking around with wide eyes. She hadn't seen him yet, and for a moment, Max just watched her, taking in the sight of the girl who had been on his mind for months now.
She was even more gorgeous in person than he had imagined.
Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she took in the bustling paddock around her. The way the sunlight caught her hair, the gentle curve of her smile as she observed everything with wonder - it all took Max's breath away.
He noticed little details he couldn't have seen through a screen: the way her eyes sparkled, the subtle freckles across her nose, the graceful way she moved as she looked around.
Taking a deep breath, Max walked over, his heart pounding. "YN?"
She turned, her face lighting up with a radiant smile that made Max's breath catch. "Max! Finally!"
They moved toward each other, and without hesitation, Max pulled her into a hug. The embrace felt natural, as if they'd done this a hundred times before. He was aware of how perfectly she fit in his arms, the subtle scent of her perfume, and the warmth of her body against his.
"It's so good to finally meet you," he murmured into her hair. "I'm so sorry it took so long, this weekend's been crazy."
She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with understanding in her eyes. "It's okay, Max. That qualifying was amazing! I've never experienced anything like it."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Come on, let me show you around."
He took her hand and he was struck by how natural it felt. Her fingers intertwined with his perfectly, and a warm sensation spread from their joined hands throughout his body.
They strolled through the paddock, Max pointing out the various team motorhomes, the garages, and the media center. YN was all wide-eyed fascination, asking questions and soaking in every detail. As they walked, Max found himself relaxing more and more, his previous nerves about their chemistry being gone fading away.
As they rounded a corner, they nearly bumped into Lando Norris. Who couldn't help but smirk at the sight of their hands intertwined.
"You guys met already!" he cheerfully said, "You must be YN."
Her cheeks flushed, clearly surprised that Max had mentioned her to his friends. Max felt a warmth spread through his chest at her reaction.
"Yeah, this is YN," Max said, unable to keep the smile off his face, "Meet Lando, the perpetual pain in my ass."
"Nice to finally meet the girl who's got Max reading," YN laughed, and Lando extended his hand, "Quite the accomplishment."
"Nice to meet you too, Lando," YN said, shaking his hand. "I've enjoyed watching you race, I'm a big fan. Congrats on the pole position."
"Cheers," Lando replied, then turned to Max with a mischievous glint in his eye. "So, has he bored you with car talk yet, or has he actually remembered how to discuss books?"
Max rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Shouldn't you be preparing for tomorrow, Lando?"
"Alright, alright, I can take a hint," Lando chuckled. "Enjoy your tour, lovebirds!"
As Lando walked away, Max felt a mix of embarrassment and pleasure. He glanced at YN, relieved to see her smiling.
"Sorry about him," Max said, shaking his head with a chuckle. "Lando has a way of making everything awkward."
YN laughed softly, her eyes twinkling. "It's fine. He seems like fun."
They continued their walk, finally making their way to the rooftop terrace of the Red Bull hospitality area. The view was stunning, offering a panoramic look at the circuit and the sea of orange-clad fans below.
"This is incredible," YN said, leaning against the railing and taking it all in. "Thank you for showing me around, Max."
"Of course," Max said, standing beside her. "I'm really glad you could come."
They stood there for a moment, enjoying the view and each other's company. Max felt a sense of contentment wash over him, the stress of the weekend melting away in her presence.
"Max," YN said softly, turning to face him. "I know this weekend is important for you, and I don't want to be a distraction. But I'm really happy to be here and to finally meet you."
"You're not a distraction," Max replied, reaching out to take her hand again. "You're the best part of this weekend, honestly."
They shared a smile, Max was well aware of the butterflies that fluttered on his stomach and the high school girl blush his friends teased him about, but he didn't care. He felt happy with the pretty girl who had been his source of comfort for months, finally face to face.
"You know," YN said softly, "when I made that video calling you a misunderstood hero with a heart of gold, I never imagined I'd get to see it firsthand. But being here, seeing how you are with your team, with the fans⦠I was right about you, Max Verstappen."
Max felt a warmth spread through his chest at her words. He had always been guarded about his public image, but hearing her perspective meant more than he could ever imagine.
"I'm glad you think so," he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "You know, that video... it changed things for me. Not just because it led to us talking, but because it made me reflect on a lot of things."
"Who would've thought," YN said with a smile, "When I recorded that video, I never thought you would ever see it, let alone have an impact on you and let alone lead us to talking and me being here."
"Everything happens for a reason, right?"
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username1 OMFGGGG
username2 no one deserved this more than her for real
username3 SHE MET MAX TOO?? DESERVED
redbullracing Come back soon! π
username4 red bull finally inviting people who actually love the sport
username5 GIRL WE NEED A VLOGGGG
username6 omg how did this happen spiiiill
β³ ynreadsbooks let's say i got invited by the world champion
β³ username1 WTF
β³ username2 so MAX invited her not redbull help he really did become a fan after that video
danielricciardo Hope to see you around soon, love ! π
β³ username3 how do i sign up for this
username7 THAT PIC OF MAX IS SO BOYFRIEND CODED
maxversteppen1 Thank you so much for coming and making this day special βΊοΈ
β³ username1 OMG MAX
β³ username2 i'd be screaming if i was her
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username1 KIIING
username2 how can a man be so babygirl
username3 all smiles even tho he finished p2
danielricciardo π¦π¦
landonorris Simply lovely
β³ username1 menace
username4 bro who got you smiling like that
ynreadsbooks β€οΈ
β³ username2 biggest max girlie
β³ username3 WE NEED THAT VLOG
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When it came time for YN to leave the Netherlands, Max insisted on driving her to the airport himself. The car ride was filled with comfortable silence and soft conversation, both of them trying to stretch out their remaining time together.
Despite their short time together, Max found himself completely smitten, captivated by YN's intelligence, humor, and the way her eyes lit up when she talked about books or reacted to the thrill of the race.
He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was head over heels for her.
As they stood in the departure terminal, Max felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. He hesitated, his heart racing, but ultimately settled for a long, warm hug, breathing in her scent and committing it to memory. As he watched her walk through security, he already found himself missing her presence.
Now, a week later, Max was in Monza for the Italian Grand Prix. The day had been busy with media commitments and team meetings. Finally back in the quiet of his motorhome, Max flopped onto the couch, feeling drained but content. Without thinking, he reached for his phone and hit the FaceTime button next to YN's name.
Her smiling face appeared on the screen, and Max felt an immediate surge of warmth.
"Hey, you," she said, her voice soft and welcoming even through the phone's speakers.
"Hey," Max replied, unable to keep the grin off his face. "How's your day been?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. Editing videos, reading, missing the excitement of the paddock," YN teased. "How about you? Surviving the media circus?"
"Barely," Max groaned dramatically, "I swear, if I have to answer one more question about RedBull and their big mess, I might go mad."
YN laughed, the sound making Max's heart skip a beat. "Poor Max. Whatever shall we do to take your mind off your beloved team?"
"Well," Max said, shifting to get more comfortable, "I've been reading that new sci-fi book you recommended. 'The Martian-like Odyssey to Titan,' or whatever it's called."
"'Project Hail Mary,'" she corrected, "And? What do you think so far?"
"It's incredible!" Max's eyes lit up, "I mean, the science is fascinating, and the way the main character problem-solves is just... I don't know, it reminds me a bit of what we do in racing, you know? Constantly adapting, finding solutions on the fly."
"That's exactly why I thought you'd like it! The way Andy Weir writes about scientific problem-solving is so engaging."
They dove into an animated discussion about the book, Max marveling at how easily conversation flowed between them, how YN's passion for books was infectious. As they talked, a thought that had been brewing in Max's mind for days suddenly surfaced.
"YN," Max said, his voice softer than before. "There's actually something I've been wanting to ask you."
"Oh? What is it, Max?" she tilted her head, curiosity evident in her expression.
Max took a deep breath, suddenly feeling like he was about to qualify for a crucial race. "Well, I was wondering... have you ever been to Monaco?"
"No, actually, I haven't," YN's eyebrows raised in surprise, "It's always been on my travel wish list, though. Why do you ask?"
Max felt his heart rate pick up. He'd rehearsed this moment in his head countless times over the past few days, but now that it was here, he found himself fumbling for words.
"Well, you see, I have a two-week break coming up before the Baku GP, and I was thinking... maybe... if you're free, of course, and if you'd like to... you could come visit me in Monaco?"
The words tumbled out faster than he intended, and Max felt a blush creeping up his neck. He watched YN's face carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. His mind raced with possibilities - what if she said no? What if this was too forward?
YN's eyes widened, and for a moment, she seemed at a loss for words. "Oh, Max, that's... wow. That's really sweet of you to offer."
Max, sensing a hint of hesitation, quickly added, "You could stay at my place. I have plenty of room, and it would be great to have you around. Plus I have two adorable cats that I'm sure you'd love."
YN's expression softened, a mix of excitement and uncertainty in her eyes. "That sounds amazing, Max. But⦠are you sure? I wouldn't want to impose on your personal space or your time off."
Truth was, Max wanted to spent every free moment he had with her, but he wasn't sure how to let her know without sounding too forward or like a creep, so he just pressed on.
"You wouldn't be imposing at all, I promise. I really want us to spend more time together, away from the craziness of the race weekends. And I'd love to show you around Monaco."
He watched as YN bit her lip, considering his offer. The silence stretched for a moment, and Max found himself holding his breath.
"If you're not comfortable staying at my place," he added quickly, "I could book you a hotel room, or there are some great Airbnbs with amazing views of the harbor. Whatever makes you feel most at ease. I just⦠I really want to see you again."
As he spoke, Max realized just how true his words were. The thought of having YN in his space, sharing meals, exploring the city together - it filled him with a warmth he couldn't quite describe. It was more than just attraction; there was a comfort in her presence that he craved.
YN smiled, a warm look in her eyes. "You really mean that, don't you?"
"I do. Look, I know it might seem like a big ask, but I just... I can't stop thinking about how much fun we have together. And Monaco is beautiful this time of year. We could go for drives along the coast, have dinner at some amazing restaurants, or just relax by the pool if you prefer. No pressure, just... us. And well, the cats."
Max held his breath, waiting for her response. The thought of having YN in Monaco, of being able to spend uninterrupted time with her away from the pressures of the race weekend, made his heart soar. He imagined showing her his favorite spots in the city, maybe taking her out on his boat, or just lounging by the pool and talking for hours.
"Alright, Verstappen, you've convinced me. But I have one condition."
"Name it." Max grinned, relief and excitement washing over him.
"If I'm staying at your place, you have to let me cook my infamous waffles for breakfast. They're a secret family recipe, and I guarantee they'll be the best you've ever tasted."
"Deal," Max's smile widened, a burst of joy exploding in his chest. "But I warn you, I take my waffles very seriously. They better live up to the hype."
"Oh, they will. And I can't wait to meet the cats."
As they continued to chat and make plans for YN's visit, Max felt a warmth spreading through his chest. The prospect of having YN in his home, of waking up and knowing she was just in the next room, of being able to spend lazy mornings together over homemade waffles - it all seemed almost too good to be true.
He found himself imagining what it would be like to have her there. Would she curl up on his couch with a book? Would they watch the sunset from his terrace? Would he finally get the courage to kiss her?
The thought made his heart race. He remembered the moment at the airport when he had wanted so badly to kiss her goodbye. This time, he promised himself, he wouldn't let the opportunity pass by.
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The day of YN's arrival in Monaco had finally come, and Max felt like a giddy teenager preparing for his first date.
In the days leading up to YN's visit, Max had found himself unusually preoccupied with preparations. He wanted everything to be perfect for YN's stay. He'd bought new sheets for the guest bedroom, making sure they were the softest he could find. He'd stocked the fridge with an array of foods, unsure of her preferences but making sure to have options. He'd even gone so far as to buy a small collection of books he thought she might enjoy, arranging them carefully on the nightstand in her room.
The morning of her arrival, Max woke up early, his stomach a knot of excitement and nerves. He double-checked everything one last time - fresh towels in the bathroom, extra toiletries in case she forgot anything, a vase of fresh flowers on the kitchen counter to brighten up the space. He felt almost silly with how much effort he was putting in, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted everything to be perfect for the girl he was smitten with.
As the time to leave for the airport approached, Max found himself pacing, checking his watch every few minutes. He'd planned the route to the airport meticulously, factoring in potential traffic to make sure he'd be there in plenty of time. Just as he was about to grab his keys and head out, the doorbell rang.
Confused, Max paused. He wasn't expecting anyone - he'd made sure to clear his schedule completely for YN's visit. Frowning slightly, he opened the door to find Lando standing there, a wide grin on his face.
"Lando? What are you doing here?" Max asked, glancing at his watch.
"What, can't a mate drop by for a visit?" Lando replied, trying to peer past Max into the apartment. "Thought we could hang out, maybe play some FIFA."
Max shifted awkwardly, blocking the doorway. "Lando, mate, I'm actually just about to head out. I can't hang out right now."
"Oh, come on," Lando's grin faltered slightly, "Just for a bit? We haven't had a proper catch-up in ages."
"I'm sorry, I really can't," Max insisted, glancing at his watch nervously. "I have to pick up a friend from the airport."
Lando's eyes narrowed suspiciously, a mischievous glint appearing. "A friend, huh? Is it that your book dream girl? You're flying her out over here?"
Max felt his face heat up, a blush creeping up his neck. He tried to deny it, but his reaction gave him away.
"It is! Oh man, this is brilliant," Lando's eyes widened in delight, "Max Verstappen, blushing like a schoolboy over a girl."
"Shut up," Max grumbled, but there was no real annoyance in his voice. He couldn't help but smile.
"So, YN is finally gracing Monaco with her presence," Lando teased. "No wonder you've been so distracted lately. When do I get to hang out with her?"
"You don't," Max rolled his eyes, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go."
"Alright, alright," Lando stepped aside, still grinning. "But I want details later, yeah? And tell YN I said hi."
Max waved him off, hurrying to his car. Despite Lando's teasing, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. The excitement was bubbling up inside him again as he drove to the airport.
As he parked and made his way to the arrivals area, Max felt his nerves almost making him want to throw up. He found himself fidgeting, alternating between pacing and sitting, his eyes glued to the arrivals board.
Finally, he saw that YN's flight had landed. His heart rate picked up as he watched the doors, scanning the crowd for her familiar face. And then, suddenly, there she was.
YN emerged from the arrivals gate, looking a bit tired from the journey but still radiant. Her eyes scanned the crowd, and when they landed on Max, her face lit up with a brilliant smile.
Max felt his breath catch in his throat. He raised his hand in a small wave, a grin spreading across his face as he walked towards her.
"Hey, Max," she said as she reached him, her voice warm and slightly breathless.
"Hey," he replied, suddenly feeling shy. "How was your flight?"
Without thinking, he pulled her into a hug. As he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in the scent of her hair, he felt a sense of rightness wash over him. It was as if all the pieces were falling into place.
"It was good, just long," she hugged him back tightly. "I'm so glad to be here though."
As they pulled apart, Max found himself reluctant to let go completely. He kept one hand on her back as he reached for her suitcase with the other. "Here, let me get that for you."
"Always the gentleman," YN teased, but her smile was soft and appreciative.
As they walked towards the exit, Max found himself stealing glances at her, still hardly believing she was really here. "So, um, I thought we could grab some lunch if you're hungry? Or if you're tired, we can head straight to my place so you can rest."
YN considered for a moment. "Lunch sounds great, actually. I'm starving, and I'm too excited to sleep just yet. I want to see Monaco."
Max chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through his chest at her enthusiasm. "Lunch it is then. I know just the place β it has a great view of the harbor."
As they made their way to Max's car, chatting easily about YN's flight and Max's plans for her visit, Max felt a sense of contentment he hadn't experienced in a long time. The nervousness from earlier had melted away, replaced by pure happiness.
Loading YN's suitcase into the trunk, Max caught her eye and smiled. "I'm really glad you're here, YN."
She returned his smile, her eyes sparkling. "Me too, Max. Me too."
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username1 AWEEE
username2 those are cute kittens
username3 those look like max verstappen's cats
username4 JIMMY AND SASSY VERSTAPPEN??
β³ username1 how CRAZY would it be
danielricciardo Don't hesitate to shout if he's much trouble
β³ username2 HOLD ON??
β³ ynreadsbooks he's just fine don't worry π
β³ username3 IS SHE REALLY WITH MAX??
β³ maxverstappen1 I'm not trouble...
β³ username1 OMFGGG
β³ username4 THIS PLOT TWIST
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Three days had passed since YN's arrival in Monaco, and Max couldn't remember a time when he'd been happier.
True to her word, YN had cooked her infamous waffles for breakfast on the second morning of her stay. As Max had taken his first bite, his eyes had widened in surprise and delight. The waffles were light and crispy on the outside, yet fluffy on the inside, with a perfect balance of sweetness and a hint of vanilla. He'd declared them the best he'd ever tasted, earning a proud smile from her.
The days that followed had been filled with laughter, conversation, and exploration. They'd spent hours by Max's pool, talking about everything and nothing. YN would often bring a book, reading aloud passages that she found particularly interesting or amusing, while Max listened, content to hear her voice and watch the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about something she loved.
They'd explored Monaco together, with Max showing YN his favorite spots and discovering new ones together. He'd taken her to the Monte Carlo Casino, where they'd marveled at the architecture and people-watched. They'd strolled through the streets of Monaco-Ville, the old town, where YN had been enchanted by the colorful buildings. They'd even spent an afternoon at the Oceanographic Museum, where YN's enthusiasm for learning had been infectious, and Max had found himself just as excited as she was about the marine life exhibits.
Throughout it all, Max felt himself falling deeper for her. It wasn't just her beauty or her intelligence that captivated him, but the way she saw the world. Her curiosity, her kindness, her ability to find joy in the smallest things - it all made Max see his surroundings through new eyes. He found himself noticing details he'd never paid attention to before, appreciating moments he might have otherwise overlooked.
What struck Max most was how easy and right it all felt. There was no pressure, no awkwardness. Being with YN was as natural as breathing. They could talk for hours without running out of things to say, but they were also comfortable in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence.
As they returned from another long day of exploring the city, both Max and YN retreated to their respective rooms to change into more comfortable clothing. Max opted for a soft t-shirt and sweatpants, relishing the feeling of being relaxed and at ease in his own home.
When he emerged from his room, he found YN already settled on his couch, her legs tucked under her, a book in her hands and one of his cats curling beside her. She was wearing one the t-shirt she picked the night she arrived when she realized she forgot to pack pajamas. It was too big for her frame but Max felt like melting knowing she was wearing his shirt.
The sight made Max's heart skip a beat. There was something so intimate and domestic about the scene - YN looking completely at home in his space, in his clothes, absorbed in a book as if she'd always been there.
Max couldn't help but smile, a warmth spreading through his chest. He found himself wanting this view in his life every day - coming home to find YN there, comfortable and content. The thought both thrilled and terrified him. He'd never felt this way about anyone before, never wanted to intertwine his life so completely with another person's.
YN looked up from her book, catching Max's gaze. Her lips curved into a soft smile. "Hey. Want to join me?"
Without hesitation, Max crossed the room. Instead of sitting next to her, he surprised both of them by lying down on the couch and resting his head in her lap. He looked up at her, his eyes vulnerable. "Would you read to me?"
YN's expression softened, her eyes twinkling with affection. "Of course," she said, her free hand moving to gently run her fingers through his hair.
Max closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation. He felt her shift slightly, getting comfortable, and then her voice filled the air, soft and melodious as she began to read.
Max's lips curved into a smile. "Emma," he murmured. "I remember you mentioning it was one of your favorites."
YN paused her reading, looking down at him with surprise and pleasure. "You remembered that?"
"Of course," Max opened his eyes, meeting her gaze. "I remember everything you tell me."
A huge grin appeared in YN's face, and she bent down to press a soft kiss to Max's forehead. The gesture was so natural, so tender, that it made Max's heart flutter.
As she continued to read, her fingers still combing through his hair, Max found himself only half-listening to the words. Instead, he was acutely aware of every point of contact between them - the warmth of her lap under his head, the gentle touch of her fingers, the soft cadence of her voice washing over him.
In that moment, Max realized with startling clarity that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. Not just the glamour of racing or the thrill of victory, but this - quiet moments of intimacy, the comfort of being with someone who understood him, who made him want to be better.
He reached up, gently taking YN's free hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. She paused in her reading, looking down at him with a question in her eyes.
"YN," Max said softly, his voice filled with emotion. "I'm really glad you're here."
She squeezed his hand, her smile radiant. "So am I, Max. So am I."
As she resumed reading, her voice mixing with the soft sound of the Mediterranean breeze outside, Max closed his eyes again, a sense of peace settling over him. Whatever the future held, he knew that this moment, this feeling, was something he'd cherish forever.
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username1 GIRL
username2 THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY
username3 how do you go from max randomly commenting one of your videos to this
username4 girl we can tell that's max dw ππ
username5 YOU OWE US A TWO HOUR STORYTIME VIDEO
username6 anything you want to tell us best friend?
username7 she just had a book and a dream fr
landonorris Has he bored you yet?
β³ username1 IM DYING
β³ username2 she really masterminded her way into the f1 circle
β³ ynreadsbooks he's nice, makes good smoothies π
β³ maxverstappen1 Good to know that β€οΈ
β³ landonorris I'm disgusted
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As the final day of YN's stay in Monaco dawned, Max found himself feeling so many bittersweet emotions. The past week had been nothing short of magical, and the thought of it coming to an end left a hollow feeling in his chest. She hadn't even left yet, and already he missed her.
For their final day, Max had decided to take YN out on his yacht. He wanted their last hours together to be special, just the two of them away from the bustling streets of Monaco. As they prepared for the day, packing a picnic and gathering sunscreen and towels, Max couldn't help but reflect on the past week.
Daniel and Lando had teased him mercilessly about his sudden disappearance from their usual hangouts. They'd made jokes about Max being "whipped" and how he'd fallen hard for his "YouTube dream girl." But Max didn't care. He was too happy, too caught up in the bubble of joy that surrounded him and YN.
As they boarded the yacht, the Mediterranean stretching out before them in shades of turquoise, Max felt a pang in his chest. This perfect week was coming to an end, and he wasn't sure he was ready to face reality again.
Once they were out on the open water. YN leaned over the railing, a look of wonder on her face.
"This is incredible, Max," she said, turning to him with a dazzling smile. "I can't believe I'm here, experiencing all of this."
Max moved to stand beside her, their shoulders brushing. "I'm going to miss you," he said softly, "This week has been⦠I don't even have words for it."
"I'm going to miss you too, Max. So much. But you know I have to go back home. I have videos to make for my channel, work stuff to catch up onβ¦"
Max nodded, understanding but not liking it. "Maybe you could make a video about 'A Week with an F1 Driver'? I'm sure your subscribers would love that."
YN laughed, playfully shoving his shoulder. "Oh yes, I'm sure that would go over well. 'Day 3: Watched Max eat his bodyweight in pasta. Day 5: Learned that F1 drivers are actually big babies when they lose at Mario Kart.'"
"I am not a baby!" Max gasped in mock offense. "I'm just⦠competitive."
"Uh-huh, sure," she teased, her eyes twinkling. "Is that why you pouted for an hour after I beat you?"
"I did not pout," Max protested, but he was grinning.
"You know, it's still surreal to me that a random video I published got us here. If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be spending a week in Monaco with Max Verstappen, I would have laughed in their face."
Max reached out, caressing her cheek softly. "I'm glad you made that video," he said softly. "I'm glad I stumbled across it. I can't imagine not knowing you now."
As they stood together on the boat, the gentle rocking of the waves mirroring the tumultuous emotions within them, Max found his gaze drawn to YN's lips. They were slightly parted, soft and inviting. His heart raced as he lifted his eyes to meet hers, a silent question in his gaze.
YN's eyes, warm and full of affection, met his. A small, knowing smile played at the corners of her mouth, and in that moment, it was all the permission Max needed.
With a gentle tug, he pulled her closer, one hand coming to rest on the small of her back while the other cupped her cheek. Time seemed to slow as he leaned in, their breaths mingling in the space between them. And then, finally, their lips met.
The kiss was tender at first, a soft exploration. But as YN's arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair, it deepened into something more passionate. Max poured all of his pent-up emotions into the kiss - his joy, his longing, his hope for what they could be.
When they finally parted, YN's eyes were sparkling. "You know," she said, a playful tone to her voice, "I've been waiting for you to do that all week."
Max couldn't help but laugh, a mixture of relief and happiness bubbling up inside him. "Really? All week, huh?"
"Mmhmm," she nodded, her smile widening. "I was starting to think I'd have to make the first move myself."
"Well," Max said, his voice low and teasing, "allow me to make up for lost time."
With that, he pulled her in for another kiss. This one was different from the first - more confident, more passionate. His hands roamed her back, pulling her flush against him as her fingers tangled in his hair. The world around them faded away until there was nothing but the two of them, the taste of salt on their lips, and the warmth of the setting sun on their skin.
When they broke apart this time, both were slightly dazed. Max rested his forehead against YN's, unwilling to put any distance between them.
"I really like you," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I've ever liked anyone before. This week with you⦠it's been incredible. I don't want it to end."
YN's hand came up to cup his cheek, her thumb gently stroking his skin. "I really like you too, Max," she replied, her voice equally soft. "These past few days have been like a dream."
Max pulled back slightly, just enough to meet her eyes. "I know you have to go back, but⦠I want to make this work. Us, I mean. If that's something you want too."
"I do want that. Very much. It might not be easy with our schedules and the distance, but I think you're worth it."
"We'll figure it out," he said, determination clear in his voice. "I'll come visit you when I can, and you can come to some of my races. We'll make time for video calls, and I'll text you so much you'll get sick of me."
YN laughed, the sound like music to Max's ears. "I don't think I could ever get sick of you," she said, her eyes twinkling. "But I'm holding you to that promise about the races. I expect VIP treatment, Mr. Verstappen."
Max grinned, pulling her close again. "For you? Always," he murmured, before capturing her lips in another kiss.
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The month following YN's stay in Monaco had been blissful happiness for both YN and Max. Their parting at the airport had been bittersweet, filled with lingering kisses and tight embraces. They had spent a good hour cuddling in Max's car in the airport parking lot, neither wanting to let go.
"I'm going to miss you so much," YN had whispered, her face buried in the crook of Max's neck.
Max had tightened his arms around her, breathing in her scent. "I'll miss you too. But we'll see each other soon, I promise."
When they finally managed to separate, their goodbye kiss had been passionate and filled with promise. As Max watched her disappear into the airport, he already felt a piece of his heart leaving with her.
In the weeks that followed, they took every opportunity to be together. Max would fly to YN's home during his breaks between races, often arriving exhausted but immediately revitalized by her presence.
Their reunions were always intense, filled with desperate kisses and roaming hands as they made up for lost time. But it was the quiet moments that Max treasured most - waking up with YN in his arms, her sleepy smile the first thing he saw; cooking breakfast together, stealing kisses between flipping pancakes; or simply sitting in comfortable silence, each lost in their own tasks but finding comfort in the other's presence.
Now, as they walked hand in hand through the paddock in Austin for the USA Grand Prix, Max felt a sense of pride and joy unlike anything he'd experienced before. Having YN by his side at a race weekend, this time as more than just a friend, felt right in a way he couldn't fully express.
"This is incredible, Max," YN breathed, squeezing his hand. "I don't think I'll ever get used to it."
Max grinned, his heart swelling with affection. He loved seeing the paddock through her eyes, rediscovering the magic that he sometimes took for granted.
"Wait until you see the track," he said, pulling her closer. "And the sound when all the cars start up⦠there's nothing like it."
They paused for a moment, watching as a group of mechanics wheeled a set of tires past them. Max took the opportunity to really look at his girl. She was radiant in the sunlight, her hair catching the light and her eyes sparkling with excitement. He couldn't resist leaning in to place a soft kiss on her cheek.
YN turned to him, a playful smile on her lips. "What was that for?"
"Do I need a reason to kiss my girl?" Max replied, his voice low and teasing.
She laughed, the sound music to his ears. "I suppose not. But maybe save some for later? We are in public, after all."
"You're killing me," Max groaned dramatically. "How am I supposed to focus on racing when you look like that?"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll manage," YN teased, patting his chest. "After all, I hear you're quite good at this driving thing."
Their playful banter was interrupted by a familiar voice calling out. "Oi, Verstappen! Finally decided to grace us with your presence?"
Max turned to see Daniel approaching, his trademark grin in place. Lando was close behind, an equally mischievous look on his face.
"Hey guys," Max greeted, unconsciously pulling YN closer. "You remember YN, right?"
"Ah yes," Daniel's grin widened. "Nice to see you again, love."
"It's great to see you too, Daniel," she smiled warmly. "And you, Lando."
Lando's eyes darted between Max and YN, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "So, Max, finally managed to seal the deal, huh?"
Max felt his cheeks heat up, but before he could respond, YN jumped in.
"Oh, he did more than that," she said, her tone light but with a hint of something that made Max's pulse quicken. "He's been quite⦠impressive."
Daniel let out a low whistle while Lando burst into laughter. Max couldn't help but join in, marveling at how effortlessly YN fit into his world.
As they chatted, Max couldn't keep his hands off YN. He found himself constantly touching her - a hand on the small of her back, playing with her fingers, rubbing her arm softly. Each touch was like a spark, reminding him of their passionate reunions over the past month.
He thought back to their last meeting, just a week ago. He had flown to her place straight after he was done with some meetings in Monaco, exhausted but desperate to see her. The moment he stepped through her door, all fatigue had vanished. They had barely made it to the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake. The memory of her skin against his, the taste of her lips, the sound of her gasps and moans⦠it was enough to make him want to whisk her away to his motorhome right now.
Max was pulled from his thoughts by the approach of another familiar face. Charles Leclerc was walking towards them, his trademark charming smile in place.
"Max! Good to see you, man," Charles said, clapping Max on the shoulder before turning his attention to YN. "And who might this lovely lady be?"
Without hesitation, the words tumbled from Max's lips: "This is YN, my girlfriend."
He felt the girl stiffen slightly beside him, and for a moment, panic flared in his chest. Had he overstepped? They hadn't explicitly discussed labels yet. But when he glanced at YN, she was smiling warmly at Charles, her hand still firmly in Max's.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Charles," YN said, shaking his hand.
Charles raised an eyebrow at Max, a hint of surprise in his expression. "The pleasure is all mine. I hope you're enjoying your time in the paddock."
After exchanging a few more pleasantries, they parted ways. Max led YN towards his driver's room. Once inside the relative privacy of the small space, YN turned to him, a playful glint in her eye.
"Girlfriend, huh?" she said, her tone light but with an undercurrent of something Max couldn't quite identify.
Max felt a flutter of nervousness in his stomach. "Iβ¦ yeah. I mean, if that's okay? I know we haven't really talked about it, butβ¦"
YN stepped closer, her fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. "It's more than okay, Max. I was just surprised. We've been in this beautiful bubble, and hearing you say it out loud⦠it made it feel real in a way it hasn't before."
Max let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His hands found their way to YN's waist, pulling her closer. "It is real," he said softly. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. Feels like you're everything."
Her eyes softened, her hand coming up to cup his cheek. "You're everything to me too, Max. I love you."
The words hung in the air between them for a moment, both realizing it was the first time either had said it. Then Max surged forward, capturing YN's lips in a kiss that was equal parts tender and passionate.
When they broke apart. Max rested his forehead against YN's, his eyes closed as he savored the moment.
"I love you too," he whispered. "God, YN, I love you so much."
YN's answering smile was radiant and she pulled him in for another kiss.
"So," he said, his voice husky, "ready to watch your boyfriend win a race?"
YN laughed, the sound filling the small space and Max's heart. "Always," she replied. "My misunderstood hero with a heart of gold."
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