#hope we get to actually see the mc this chapter..... i kinda need him

[venomgender]

nonbinary preiest updateeeee

[hey-august]

I'll Be Your Whatever - Story Hiatus

Description: Life is full of all sorts of characters - some who come and go, and others that stay. After propelling yourself into a lie you can't (won't) take back, a certain pirate captain may have a reason to come by more often. (Story tag)

Alrighty, I would very very much like to come back to this fic one day, but I truly do not know when that will happen. I think the outline I put together took away some of the drive to write the actual story, but I still want to SO BADLY.

So this story doesn't remain unfinished for however long, I'm going to share the outline I put together using beat sheets and story arcs.

Tag list: @rorywritesjunk @ane5e @venulus @misadventures0fdes You asked to be included in the tag list for the story, so I'm also tagging you here. I'm sorry for dropping the story and this hiatus, but I hope knowing that the ending exists brings some peace!

For reference: CB = Captain Buggy, MC = Main Character (aka, you, the reader!) WC: ~1.4k

As a recap of the story so far, MC tried to get 2 overly flirtatious guys off her back by saying a stranger passing by was her boyfriend. That stranger was Buggy, of course lol. Trying to stay low and play the part, MC and CB kiss. They joke about CB continuing to be a boyfriend and MC mentions having a treasure chest. A few days later, CB shows up at MCs place with flowers and saying he'll agree to be her boyfriend if she promises him the treasure map.

Chapter 4

They go on a mini date, as a way for them to talk about the agreement - they talk about the timeline and how long to "date." They decide to go get lunch.

Hot dog lunch. Hint at CBs favorite food.

CB blows kisses to MC while she’s in line.

Contract: 

Don’t tell the truth -  a deal’s a deal

MC pays for food

Compliments for Buggy

Hold hands

Kissing? We’ll figure it out if we need to

Buggy has to stop by whenever he’s in town

Buggy goes to the town festival - MC tries to convince CB to agree to go to a town festival in a few weeks or whatever, long enough for dudebros to lose interest. Offers a treasure map.

"If I’m being totally honest, that sounds like my worst nightmare."

MC stands up to someone who tries to insult Buggy’s nose. Fiery. They have to leave wherever they were. CB is impressed by her spunk.

B Story - CB inviting MC to visit the ship. 

At some point CB invites her, a shadow passes over her face, he asks if she really dislikes the idea that much.

MC feels stuck to the small town and guilt about her dad missing those kinds of experiences. She looks at Buggy's eyes and sees the draw of the ocean in them. Whatever enticed Buggy and her dad to love the sea, is reflected in his eyes.

Chapter 5

Fun and Games - coming to the weekend market

Oh yeah, no he said he wasn’t able to make it. But! CB shows up unexpectedly. YN blows him a kiss and he catches it.

CB gets into a scuffle at the weekend market.

Rowdy customer, "how about I pay you in kisses, pretty thing? No? Whatever, this shit isn’t even that good."

“no one gets to treat you like that, you hear me? no one.”

They eat fresh donuts, “oh you have to try these, they’re my favorite,” MC dabs some powdered sugar off the corner of his mouth.

Test of love trope! Conducted by a new jewelry shop. Start easy - eye color, fave food, feed each other, draw each other, blindfold and guess their partners hands, winners get matching bracelets. This is their first kiss.

CB putting the bracelet on MC "This means you’re mine. That’s what you wanted, right?" She gets A LOT of butterflies.

Walking back, the pictures they drew of each other blow away and fall into a tide pool. MC wading through water to get the drawings.

He made the day so special and she doesn’t want this to ruin it.

The drawing / picture she made isn’t that bad, he actually kinda likes it himself. So MC gives it to him. He becomes more enamored with it when she goes to save it from the water.

Nearby sailors / pirates laugh at MC in the water (lighthearted), she calls back that it’s not like they don’t get dirty treasure hunting.

CB gets butterflies from her insistence and calling the papers treasure.

Piggy back ride home? Slightly spicy. It was like their skin was calling out for the other's gentle touch.

Chapter 6

Fun and Games cont - MC said she would see CB off the next day but she doesn’t show up because she’s sick from the previous night.

CB comes by, sees that she’s okay but sick. 

He leaves for a moment and comes back with some stuff to help her feel better. He also postponed shipping off until the next day.

She bashfully asks if he’ll stay a little longer. He stays until she falls asleep.

MC calls him pretty boy and he hecking likes it.

She wakes up the next day to a note telling her that he won’t be in the area for a while.

Chapter 7

Mini scene, MC notices that the dudebros seem to have moved on. They asked for a double/triple date, but MC deflects bc who knows when CB will be in town.

MC mentions this to CB in passing.

Midpoint - Next time, MC visits CBs ship. It’s a good visit. Overall a positive experience. There is some real-ness to life aboard the ship.

Cabaji shows unicycling, meet Mohji and Richie, CB shows off knife throwing (maybe a contest between him and Cabaji, CB wins and Cabaji says at least he’s better at unicycling)

Buggy helps rig the new sails

Pirates swap stories. Talking about what it was like adjusting to life on the ship, but how amazing it is. All the sights and experiences. She has stars in her eyes while listening. Her mind sketching images of what’s being described. She’s even comfortable talking about her dad.

How do you tell your fake bf that you're nervous near him because you're starting to fall for him?

MC likes seeing CBs swagger and how his crew adores him. CB puts his hand on her shoulder and kneads.

She stays overnight (one bed), CB doesn’t sleep.

Chapter 8

Bad Guys Close In - As MC leaves, she’s accosted by pirate thugs, who notice she’s been hanging around CB.

Maybe they think she’s a sex worker? Sugar baby? She tries to say that’s not it, then they think she must be something more special. They could probably get a ransom.

Chop chop Buggy comes in to save the day. Or CB throws a knife, trapping them. CB walks her back home, tries to make it seem light hearted, doesn’t want MC to be too afraid.

MC is a bit unphased since pirates are always visiting.

MC kisses CB goodbye on the cheek. “Could you try that again?” “Better?” “Yeah…”

Chapter 9

All is Lost - Break up because CB is afraid MC will become a target. CB breaks up with YN, afraid of putting her in danger.

Even though CB dealt with those other pirates, that doesn’t mean there won’t be others 

He doesn’t want to put her in danger any longer. Besides, the guys she was avoiding seem to have moved on.

MC asks if he found someone else, something more fun, feels cruel because they don't really think that's what's happening.

I guess my expectations were too high.

Dark of the Night - MC storms back and hands off the map. "A deal’s a deal and I don’t want to be in debt to a pirate."

Wrapped around the map is her bracelet.

Chapter 10

Dark of the Night - Why does CB change his mind? - He reads a letter on the back of the map and realizes he should give it back to MC.

Break into Three - CB's waiting for her at the party. A deal’s a deal. He also gives back the map and leaves.

MC probably talking with the art shop owner:"He likes you, I can tell by how he looks at you." "How does he look at me?"

"You think he's really waiting for me?"

Finale - MC reads the note on the map and runs to the dock for CB. 

Note, from dad: “My dearest seashell, I thought being a pirate was how I could see the world, but then you came along and I saw the world through your eyes. Thank you for giving me the greatest gift anyone could ask for. I hope that one day, you find your key to the world.”

CBs not there? He’s by the wading pools, looking at the moon and drinking alone.

CB moping

How long do you think it’ll take for this to become a memory? Do you think you’ll forget about me?

They wanted to be touched, to be missed, to be loved. Was that too much to ask for?

He’s wearing both bracelets.

"Why did you come back?" "Because that belongs to you, it has your name on it."

"Bullshit, Buggy. You’re a pirate. A treasure hunter. Why did you really come back?"

"Why do you think?"

"You actually wanted to go to the festival?"

"That’s not what I want."

Anguished declaration of love - confessing love during a moment of angst

"I don’t want to stay here anymore. I want to leave. I want to draw the world you see."

MC is steadfast and waits for Buggy to respond. “I want that too.”

Big romantic kiss

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Do you want to?"

"Yes, you have no idea how much I've thought about this."

[stillness-in-green]

What do you think about Horikoshi ending the manga without a canon couple? Do you ship or used to ship MHA characters? Did you see romantic potential? Do you think Horikoshi might confirm a couple later?

No canon couple?  Au contraire, my dear anon!  The manga ended with the most important canonization of all!

(Everybody give a huge hand to The Only Hets Who Matter, Gentle and La Brava; they deserve it.)

As to the ships people actually care about or were expecting some word on (e.g. the stuff with the students), my reaction there is overwhelmingly “lol gj hori”.  I’m glad he ended it with no canon student couple to speak of!  While I do sympathize with the position of certain people on Twitter who contend that Ochaco’s arc about repression really needed her to actually confess to Deku, I hated what her crush on Deku did to her arc anyway, so I don’t have it in me to be too annoyed.  Anyway, I don’t think it’s possible to do the Iron Might 2.0 part of the epilogue if Deku and Ochaco[1] have been dating the entire time, so I’m perfectly happy to run with the headcanon that she did confess at one point and it didn’t work out for whatever reason, so by the time the last chapter rolls around, they’ve just been friends for years.

1: Or Bakugou, for that matter, but with all due respect to the BakuDekus who haven’t been seeing Shonen Jump battle manga come and go for twenty years with nary a confirmed gay MC amongst them, that was never in the cards.

I remember posting once ages ago about a Japanese fan’s hope that Horikoshi, who the fan perceived as being at least somewhat progressive about women, could manage to end the series without a bunch of timeskip romances showing up at the last minute.  While I have some deep reservations about Hori’s progressive cred at this point in time, and am not tremendously impressed with his writing of women, either, credit where credit is due: he did end the series without any timeskip romances.

As to there being any confirmation of couples in the material we have remaining, I imagine the last train station[2] for that is going to be the final volume release in December, as, on top of the usual volume extras, Horikoshi should be considerably more free to include expansions that his schedule and exhaustion kept him from in the weekly publication.  I could even see a bonus chapter of some sort, maybe something post-epilogue so we can see the power suit in action or something silly and fourth wall-breaking to celebrate the series conclusion.  There’s also going to be one last fanbook released in January, which I have been assuming will be a data book like Ultra Archive.

2: Or harbor, I suppose, since we’re talking about ships.

Now, do I think any of that stuff will confirm ships?  Eh, that’s not really in my analytical wheelhouse.  The farthest I’d venture to guess is that I would a) not be surprised to get some clarification on Deku and Ochaco, and b) definitely peg the volume release to have material like that over squirreling it away in the fanbook.

For myself, my shipping habits are somewhat erratic—it’s not really where my primary engagement in media lies, and certainly not for this series!  But that’s not to say I don’t have ships, or that I’m not happy to talk about them, so if you’re curious about that, do feel free to hit the jump.  I’ll order them by general sphere first, then by how passionate I am about them compared to ones I just think are kinda cute or funny for whatever reason.

DISCLAIMER: While I have not explicitly stated as much here before, I am a 40-year-old asexual proshipper, proshipper here meaning I'm in favor of curating your own fandom space and not harassing people about their fictional ships under any circumstances.  When I say I ship something, that does not mean I’m idealizing the relationship, want it to be canon, think it would be cool in real life, or am mentally putting myself in the place of one the characters.  It’s solely because there’s something in the dynamic I think is fun or interesting, and “interesting” can very much include the same kind of interest one might have in watching a building get demolished. 

That is to say, there are a handful of Too Problematic For Tumblr ships in here—one age gap but otherwise wholesome, one age gap and tacitly abusive, and one that really hits the Tumblr Trifecta by being age gap, abusive and incestuous. I've put all three at the very bottom in their own section in descending order of Most BadWrong, but if you’re one of those people deep into The Discourse about how ships need to be Morally Correct otherwise the shippers are terrible people who should kys, this is not the post for you.  The block button’s there if you need it—and be advised that it’s there if I need it, too, and I’m not afraid to use it. (I grew up in dark fantasy shoujo fandoms; I am not litigating my ships with anybody.)

~~~Stillness’s Dubious and Delightful BNHA Ship Opinions~~~

Villain-o-rama-rama:

Spinarakiya, ShigaRD, Spinaraki: Alas for my short-lived OT3!  I was really, really pumped for this in the stretch between MVA and the early stages of the first war, what with there being such interesting possible angles between all three parties, only for Re-Destro to get arrested and never seen in person again, Spinner to get snatched up by Gigantomachia and never look back, and Shigaraki to get lost to the possession plot for, at least as far as scenes with his allies were concerned, basically the rest of the series.

Not exactly great material for my shipping heart, though I’ll refrain from the rant comparing how long the PLF members were living in close contact with each other compared to the League of Villains and why that should have meant they developed stronger relationships than what we got.

But canon being what it is, I do still ship the hell out of these three in a canon divergence situation, or any number of potential AUs.  I love the connective tissue there, with Re-Destro + Shigaraki having some startlingly strong background parallels and lasting injuries courtesy of each other, Shigaraki + Spinner having the gaming and the emptiness themes, and Spinner + Re-Destro having their Big Gay Feelings About Shigaraki as well as an appreciation for patterned fabrics some shared early frustrations about Shigaraki’s seeming lack of plans or direction.

It's a good dynamic, and I think they could all do a lot for each other, though certainly not in ways that are good for the continued survival of Hero Society.  But fuck Hero Society anyway.

As to the component parts, I don’t ship Re-Destro and Spinner without Shigaraki being at least an invisible part of the dynamic (though I would read the fic where he wasn’t with considerable interest!), but I’m also very much on board with ShigRD and Spinaraki individually.  My constant refrain about Shigaraki and RD is that they have a lot of common ground but very little common language, and I’m fascinated by how much of that they could recognize in each other and how much of it they could then recognize back in themselves, versus how much you’d get one of those cases of, “This guy is a freak and I’m so normal.”

It's so, so, so important to me that Re-Destro is the first ally Shigaraki won entirely on his own merits.  He's got no borrowed reputation from Stain, no monsters on loan from Sensei, and no help from people on Sensei’s payroll, yet still, as a result of his efforts (both in his own fights and in making the League his own, even if it didn’t start that way) he wins himself an army and a follower who never saw a light that wasn’t his.

I weep for the Shigaraki/Re-Destro relationship we could have had if Horikoshi didn’t decide that Shigaraki in the endgame was to be nothing but a pawn, and therefore couldn’t be allowed to keep any of his markers of independence and growth.

As to Spinaraki, man, what is there even to say?  The relationship so clear and obvious that it had even the mhatwt bros out there saying, “Spinaraki but at what cost?” in the last chapter!  I will admit that I liked them better when their romance had that apocalyptic tinge than when it suddenly started getting painted as primarily about them being Gamer Bros, but at least that melancholic “beauty at the end of the world” shading came back when Shigaraki talked about destroying Mount Fuji for Spinner (be still my heart!).    

They will meet and be close in every world and I will hear nothing else.

RiKoku: I don’t think I truly understood the appeal of ex-lover ships until these two.  They snuck up on me in a big way, pretty much entirely a result of my realization when I was halfway through the (first and only, sadly) MLA Week event that Trumpet was pretty free-roaming and independent from Re-Destro all the way through Deika only to be glued to his side from there on out.  Together with the Spinner parallels (the subordinates who fought each other and then came together to the crater to see their worlds remade) and my jokes about wanting to see the MLA heads during their stressed-out, over-achiever college years, all the pieces fell into place for a Rikiya and Koku who had dated for a few years and then broken up when Rikiya realized that his authority as Re-Destro—and Koku’s strong subordination to that authority—meant that he could not responsibly stay in the relationship.  (This also presents several good explanations for why a man in Rikiya’s situation isn’t married with at least one child already.)

Anyway, to me, they never really fell out of love with each other; Re-Destro just couldn’t justify overlooking the power dynamic problems once he realized how extreme they were.  (This does make for a fun alternate angle on RD’s personal life post-Deika, wherein Trumpet watches RD pass the mantle of leadership to Shigaraki Tomura and then more or less immediately pounces on him because now he doesn’t have the power dynamic excuse anymore.  Look up the great Whatever Is Spared by @leftofrevolution on AO3 for more on this.)

Overhonest: I just like Nemoto much more than I like Chrono, and thus my Overhaul ship of choice follows suit.  I like the idea that their feelings are wildly unbalanced but not totally one-sided—Overhaul has more baggage than a freshly loaded airport carousel, but he does like the Shie Hassaikai, as proven by them being mentioned in the Likes section of his character page. Nemoto in particular is someone whose presence we know Overhaul finds reassuring and we know it because he told Nemoto so directly when Nemoto asked, which means it can’t be anything other than the plain truth.  He relies on Nemoto enough to make demands of him, he expects (and gets!) effectiveness, and he even bothers to take the time to justify out loud why it would be okay for him to merge himself with Nemoto physically (because Nemoto would say yes if asked, right? of course he would) rather than just doing it with no thought to Nemoto’s feelings about it because why should he care about that.

And Nemoto, for his part, is of course an obsessive weirdo who’s totally smitten with the first person he’s ever found who legitimately wants him around, so smitten that he’ll happily overlook the fact that Overhaul primarily wants him around because he’s useful.

Moving away from what’s on-the-page canon, I enjoy (and write) the take that Overhaul is sex-repulsed, not because he’s fully asexual, but as an extension of his mysophobia.  This makes his sex life extremely fraught, but not non-existent.  When I dabble with writing them (and they’re by far the ship I’ve written the most explicit material for in this fandom), I write him as basically a sex-repulsed demi (not that he would know or use that terminology!) who is attracted to Nemoto but has been largely left aggravated and sexually frustrated by their periodic experiments in non-traditional ways of getting him off.  (Nemoto, for his part, is more than willing to keep trying!  No kink is too weird for this guy if it means finding something Overhaul would actually like.)

(To get real here for a second, if Spinarakiya is meaningful to me as a person who’s comfortably poly, Overhonest is meaningful to me as an asexual person who's only ever had allosexual partners.)

AFOUji: Truly the Evil Husbands of all time.  I wish the shift from Final Boss Shigaraki to Final Boss AFO hadn’t left Ujiko with a few truly inexplicable characterization beats,[3] because I truly do love these two as just the worst pair of mutually enabling monsters making the world worse and more dangerous for everyone while being 100% supportive of each other’s passions the entire time.  Here’s to 70 years of Dark Lord/Mad Scientist domestic bliss.

3: For the record, I consider these to be his, “I've only been living for the boy's sake,” line in Chapter 269 and his clear reticence and dissastisfaction with Shigaraki getting the surgery in Chapter 240.

DabiSkep: Skeptic is the only man Dabi has ever thanked for his contributions.  Dabi goes out of his way to kidnap him.  I’m 90% convinced that they’d been working on the video together prior to the Villa raid.  The combination of Skeptic’s deep and abiding neuroticism with Dabi’s swings between lazy malice and manic pushiness is extremely funny.  What can I say; it’s just about the only Dabi ship that really clicks for me.  I enjoy leftof’s take that Skeptic had a goth phase he never completely exited and so Dabi appeals to his inner Hot Topic teen, which he is 100% aware of and 150% embarrassed by.

   

School Environs:

Mirio/Tamaki: Tamaki literally regains consciousness at the exact moment Mirio loses his quirk.  Other than cases where there’s some actual explanation for that—a magical connection, psychic powers, etc.—I have never seen that kind of beat happen outside of a shoujo manga.  The bit where one romantic lead just mysteriously has a Bad Feeling in the same instant that something Bad happens to their love interest is so shoujo-coded.  Jesus Christ, Tamaki is so moe.  And Mirio so clearly thinks the world of him, too, as evinced by what an over-the-top sobriquet he dubbed Tamaki with.  They’re great, end of story.

Monoma/Shinsou: I’ll admit I liked this somewhat better when I thought there was any chance at all Shinsou might end up in Class B—I kind of loathe that he wound up in Class A for the self-evidently terrible reason that it’s The Main Character Class, when it seems so obviously a conflict of interest for Aizawa to be teaching him.  But eh, it’s okay; it just means Monoma will have to nobly learn to look past it after a lot of time spent being completely obnoxious about it.

My annoyance with Shinsou’s class placement aside, Monoma is one of my favorite students, and I like that he immediately latches onto Shinsou as a kindred spirit.  And, like, if that were 100% one-directional, I would probably shrug it off, but Shinsou, despite trying to play at being aloof, does actually get invested enough that he gets pretty bothered by the idea of Monoma needing help, even in something as inconsequential as a class exercise.  It’s just a much, much more interesting dynamic than Shinsou has with Deku or especially Kaminari.

Also, as someone with a bit of a Thing for mind fuckery, the way Copy and Brainwash can play off each other is Good.

MomoJirou: The fanart is cute and I like Momo better than Kaminari.  And the culture clash thing is fun.

Shouto/Inasa: The fanart is cute and I like Inasa better than Deku or Bakugou.

   

Professional Sphere:

Hawksdeavor:The age gap adds flavor.  The fact that Endeavor is still married but deeply unhappily so makes it even spicier.  The difference in what they represent (or could potentially represent) to each other is the best part, with Hawks, for Endeavor, being someone who represents a totally clean page, while Endeavor, for Hawks, represents a lifelong adoration.  Finding each other’s reality in all of that would be an interesting relationship arc and could be extremely fulfilling and strengthening for both of them.

The spoiler is (or at least should have been, if I’d been writing the series) their divided feelings on Dabi.  Honestly, I really wanted to see them clash over the matter of Touya and how to deal with him, with Endeavor wanting to save him but not knowing how and Hawks just wanting him gone but not knowing how to get away with it.  A certain pair of facts is glaring to me: first, that Hawks was a chief architect of the second war’s battle plans, whereas we never saw Endeavor involved with them at all, and second, that, when the big day came, Endeavor was slated to fight All For One with Hawks at his side despite at least some guilty protests from Enji that he really ought to be facing Dabi.

It smacks strongly of Hawks making some profoundly selfish decisions under the guise of clear-headed strategy and I really wanted it to blow up in his face when Dabi found his way to their battlefield anyway.  Pushing Endeavor into a place where he had to choose between them and ultimately chose his son (say, by protecting him from an attack coming from Hawks) would have been validating for Touya, done a lot to lever Endeavor’s arc out of the reactiveness and passivity that drag it down so badly in the canon, and also handed Hawks a real consequence for how dismissively he treats the lives of Villains and how much he’s tried to avoid reckoning with both Endeavor’s abuse and Enji’s own attempts to do said reckoning!

In summary, Hawks and Endeavor could be very good for each other, and the incredible amount of baggage they’d have work through first would be key to either making that good ending feel earned or lead to them dramatically and deliciously imploding.  Either one works for me, and either one, even without the romantic angle, would have been more interesting than the pablum we got.

NightMight: Speaking of could-have-been-good relationships that dramatically imploded!  I love Sir Nighteye as the most visible cost of All Might’s lifestyle, the one he lost because he couldn’t step away from the path his ideals had set out, and how that ideal inevitably took him full circle so that he found himself standing, for Deku, in the same place Nighteye once stood for him.  And of course by then it was too late and Deku wouldn’t listen to him anymore than he himself listened to Nighteye back then.

But Nighteye didn’t give up on caring about him, even if he had no avenue left to express it but throwing himself into finding a successor All Might would accept, which led to Nighteye's own (wonderful) relationship with Mirio.

Just great, difficult, adult stuff about irreconcilable differences that never stopped them from caring about each other even as those differences forced them to their parting of ways.

Mount Lady/Kamui Woods: They’re cute and I like the idea that they both have trouble, for opposite reasons, with cameramen.  I like that he calls her just Lady when he thinks she’s in trouble.  And not to put too fine a point on it, but I like that they’re kinda the most explicit Pro Hero couple and yet she’s the more prominent and important character with the more visible arc, which is a nice contrast to most of the other hetero relationships in this benighted manga.

   

Other/Cross-faction:

Togachaco: The yuri ship that could.  My god, the canon divergence I want to give these two.  You know why I want Deku and Ochaco to not be together in the end?  Because I want Ochaco to realize that she did everything in her power to save her Villain while Deku—after all that talk on the cliff!—just killed his, and triggered Toga just before he left to do it, meaning Ochaco had a harder time with Toga than she might have otherwise.

But, I’m not here to talk about No. 2 Green; let’s talk instead about the canon divergence where Toga survives (shove that absurd death-via-blood-transfusion right into the incinerator) and then Ochaco has to come face to face with a system that does not want to let her be anywhere near as kind as she wants to be.  The canon divergence where Ochaco realizes that her forgiveness is immaterial to justice, where she watches the system she fought to defend gear up to try Toga as an adult because Japan needs a scapegoat for the destruction of the war and all of the people who are actually most responsible are already dead or dying.  Where Ochaco realizes that she has to do something drastic if she doesn’t want to live the rest of her life haunted by the knowledge that her compassion got a 17-year-old victim of emotional and psychiatric abuse executed by the state.  The one where she decides to take a fucking stand, and it forces the rest of her class to confront that need as well.

“The cutest girl in the whole world,” my god.

Kotarou and Nao: I’m not as big on it by the time we’re seeing them in the Tenko flashback, though I certainly wasn’t pulling for some mean-spirited, allegedly feel-good “Nao slaps Kotarou and the whole family walks out of him” thing like you see in fanfic sometimes.  No, what I really like with Kotarou and Nao is thinking about them when they’re both still young, in the stretch of years where they really think they'll be happy together.  That her being with him can make all his problems go away, that him being able to bury his past and be better than all the people who hurt him (and there were so many people who hurt him) will be enough, that love is the answer to everything. Sure, the cracks are there, but they’re thin, and they can be hidden beneath all the days when things are good, when the two of them hold each other and feel safe and loved and sure.

The cracks are still there, and love isn’t enough when love becomes a band-aid and a blind eye.  But the love is still there too, and it’s so fierce and so desperate, and it still won’t save them.

Sorry, everyone; they make me emotional.  They are beautiful in the way of sparks dancing above flames, or early flowers blooming right before a vicious cold snap.  Ah, me.

StainMight: GOD, All Might really needed to grapple more with Stain’s side of his legacy.  Like, StainMight is really a victim of the way the story looked like it was setting up to criticize All Might’s methodology as well-intended but not sustainable long-term, but then, like every other aspect of the series that was about systemic critique, that criticism just evaporated and Stain became an All Might cheerleader with nothing to say about the system All Might supported for thirty years.  Maddening!  But for real, All Might should have been badly hurt in that car attack and then rescued by Stain, both to give Deku some stress about how All Might could be in danger after they parted on bad terms, and also to really make All Might have to sit with this opinionated zealot all-too-prepared to talk about how no one else is really living up to his example.

And there should be UST the whole time.

Yoichi and Kudou: I am almost entirely negative towards the OFA Collective these days, especially Kudou’s role in the endgame, but I still have some fondness for what he and Yoichi could have been.  My god, the first One For All transfer really should have been because they kissed.  More beautiful, more tragic, more profound, and preserves the Yoichi that had some actual fucking agency in the life he lived instead of just constantly being AFO’s or Kudou’s trophy princess there to talk about how respectively terrible and awesome they are.

TogaTsuyu: I just think it would be interesting if Tsuyu were actually allowed to be more present in the Toga plotline, rather than only arriving as a spoiler to avert major shifts every time.  Toga says she likes Tsuyu, too, after all, and Tsuyu is so different from both Ochaco and Deku, so much more thoughtful and considered.  I dunno, I just wonder how things might have gone if, for example, it had been Tsuyu that Toga managed to draw away in the Jakku fight.  Given that side story with her snakey friend Habuko, evidence suggests that Tsuyu is a good deal more observant and intuitive than Ochaco, and I wonder if she might have been able to suss out what Toga was actually asking there better than Ochaco did, and how that might have changed things.

   

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THE TUMBLR PROBLEMATIC ZONE:

Gentle Criminal and La Brava: I was willing to follow the canon’s initial vagary about these two, but I also like them quite a bit together, so if canon wants to put them in wedding rings at the end of the series, that’s fine by me!  Yes, I’m aware that there’s a pretty significant age gap there, which would have been at its most apparent when she first sought him out, but I don’t for one single instant believe that he’d be anything less than a total gentleman to her.  Indeed, it’d be entirely plausible to mount an argument based on his behavior that they were not at all romantically involved circa the Culture Festival arc,[4] and only become so after Gentle’s imprisonment and subsequent release.  But in general, what I’m more concerned with is the dynamic—I regard a power differential in a relationship as a reason for both parties to be cautious and mindful of that differential, but not as an immediate game-ender.

4: Most obvious is that when she says, “I love you,” he only says things like, “Thank you,” in return.

In that sense, Gentle and La Brava are great—they click together perfectly and obviously make each other tremendously happy after a lifetime of rejection.  La Brava, in Gentle’s theatrical attention-seeking, finds someone who accepts her overflowing way of showing love; Gentle, in living up to La Brava’s feelings, finds a reason for his skewed heroism beyond satisfying his pride.  To whatever extent their life together was heading anywhere bad (and there’s no evidence of this at all save that Heroes were always likely to catch up to them eventually, making La Brava’svery extreme response to Gentle’s defeat likewise inevitable), Deku’s intervention got them off of that path and back onto one that let them be accepted by the world, which they seem to have capitalized on marvelously.

They’re the only Villains I can think of whose turn to Team Hero in the endgame works for me without any significant quibbles.  Good for them!  I hope they are so, so happy together, because they deserve it.

AFO and Kotarou: MEANWHILE, IN MY OTHER KOTAROU SHIP.  I love AFO knowing Everything about what he’s doing here while Kotarou knows absolutely Nothing about what AFO is doing here.  I love an AFO who is self-amused in being friendly and reassuring and distractingly attractive to Kotarou, an AFO who knows that his toying with Kotarou would make Shimura Nana sick with terror and rage, and even if she isn’t alive to be so anymore, the fantasy of it is satisfying enough, especially since Kotarou is himself a very handsome young man, one whose hurt and resentment AFO finds beguiling to sometimes prod at, as if unable to leave a bruise alone except the bruise isn’t on his own skin.

I have an AU I’m never likely to write where Kotarou winds up successfully knocking out Tenko on the night of the accident before going on the run with him, only for them to get picked up by AFO a few weeks later, and let me tell you guys, that’s where all my guilty pleasure AFO/Kotarou really lives.

That said, I liked this one much better before we got the opening for it in canon, and not just because AFO’s disguise persona was doofy-looking instead of devastatingly handsome.  It was always one of those ships that tickled my inner hedonistic wickedness fancier but that I never wanted to be canon because my affection for the ship's vibe was not more important to me than the integrity of Shigaraki’s arc, and Shigaraki’s arc was far better served by his early childhood being as free from AFO as possible.  Alas, the reveal is very AFOtarou but at what cost.

Dabideavor: Sorry not sorry everyone, but all the people screaming about how this is SICK FILTH seem to have missed the point that it is indeed, absolutely and completely, sick filth and that’s part of the appeal.  Personally, I like it for two main reasons.

Firstly, I want Endeavor to have as hard a time as possible, and times don't get harder than this. I enjoy it when he's frozen and helpless in the face of the son whose life he destroyed because I have a long history of enjoying stoic male characters being made vulnerable through suffering.

Secondly, and more importantly, I like it because I like the version of Dabi you see in it, particularly compared to the Fanon Dabi who made so much League of Villains fan content un-fucking-readable for years.

I'm going to try to keep the hot fandom tea to a minimum here, limited to the upcoming footnote, but I hated Fanon Dabi.[5] He was an incoherent mash of a character designed to be a vehicle for the unabashed revenge fantasy of bloody murder against Bad Dads while also presenting no danger whatsoever of splash damage, a Woobie Big Brother who was completely harmless except to the father whose organs he was planning to paint the walls with. Every excuse that could be made, would be made, for Dabi's more questionable or even outright nasty moments, even if it meant minimizing or outright erasing the harm we saw Dabi do, right there on the page in literal manga monochrome.

5: There's a particular type of flanderization that goes into Fanon Dabi, the same kind of flanderization I saw attached to Steven Universe's Lapis Lazuli, and which informed the absolute umbrage certain people took with Rebecca Sugar for describing Spinel, the SU movie's villain, as toxic. There is a portion of fandom that loves abuse victims who get angry and lash out, but which will go absolutely ballistic at the slightest suggestion that abuse victims are themselves also capable of harm, that lashing out has the potential to hurt innocent people. In a perfectly executed DARVO, it becomes "victim blaming" to confront an abuse victim about the very real abuse they're inflicting on others. I only specified fictional characters here, but it's a dynamic you see in real life, too. Some people hunger for nothing so much as an acceptable target and abuse victims are not exempt from that statement.

The Dabi I thought was fun was the high-energy maniac who doesn't give a shit about anyone else getting caught in the crossfire of his revenge. Both that version of Dabi and the Endeavor who's paralyzed with guilt and despair are facilitated by Dabi’s father-obsession having a taboo sexual dimension to it that Dabi is all too ready to shove in the face of absolutely everyone who would think worse of Endeavor for it.  That means Endeavor himself, of course, but also all the good little civilians who Endeavor keeps telling to watch him.  Watch this, says Dabi, as he makes lewd hand gestures on force-streamed national television.

It's not about Dabi healing as an abuse victim, and it’s not about Dabi having a fulfilling arc—covering that stuff was canon's job!  It's about the fact that I, for reasons both personal and related to fandom spite, am personally entertained by Dabi being pedal-to-the-metal deranged about doing whatever it takes to seize Daddy’s attention and never let him look away again, which also means acting to ensure that no one is capable of or willing to save Endeavor from that fate. Like, if you want someone who would spend ten years plotting the most agonizing possible way to torment his abuser, then it’s sophistry to suddenly declare some agonizing torments off-limits.  Dabideavor is just committing to the bit.

[acourtofthought]

Sarah needs to have a scene ending E/riel in the next book, regardless of who the MCs are. It's not just a random ship people are kinda meh about, it's big enough that people are basically tearing each other up every single day for several years now. Referencing the failed kiss isn't gonna cut it (like Nessian's chapter was referenced). We need an actual end. Spell it out like anyone who's reading is 5 years old. I really hope for some news in May, this is starting to suck.

Honestly, I kind of think E/riel has already been ended. If you look at SF without the bonus, we have a scene where Az offers a small smile to Elain and she looks away from him. We have a scene where Elain says something to Cassian and Az but it's noted to be a bit more shyly to Az. We have a scene where he's overly protective towards Elain when Cassian mentions her fight with Nesta. We see them share a charged look on Solstice. That's really it, I don't think they share more than a single line or two in the entire book. But then we have a scene where Az says she shouldn't be exposed to the Darkness of the Trove and Amren scolds him for it. We have Az claiming he saved Elain while giving no credit for Elain having saved him or Briar or Nesta or Cassian. Male love interests ALWAYS acknowledge the females bravery in these books. We have zero interactions for them after Solstice where they shared a charged look and MONTHS go by after. MONTHS. Sure, that doesn't always mean anything in an SJM book, Nesta ignored Cassian for 9 months. But for a non mated pair who have never really been confirmed to be anything by any of the characters, what more is there to tell if they haven't interacted? To a casual reader, it's like "oh could this be something?" only to have it completely fizzle and you let go of the idea. The couch scene doesn't even really count in SF because Mor is also sitting there. If you read the bonus than I'm not sure how anyone could see Az confirming that he hadn't thought of a future with Elain beyond his sexual fantasies and believe there's more story for them. Where he couldn't admit to being over Mor or not just using Elain like a prostitute. Then to have the BC come to a close where she returns his gift and the thought of another females happiness sparks something in his chest? Where Gwyn pays attention to his shadows in a way Elain never has? Where Az feels calm after being around her? That's all she wrote folks, that to me is the author ending E/riel. I do think we'll get a paragraph of either Elain or Az thinking back over how they let themselves get caught up in the idea of a crush to avoid their problems but I don't think there's anything to actually end. Just like the dagger, Elain returned what Az gave to her and as far as I can tell, she hasn't looked back in his direction since.

[tonycries]

OMG YOU SAW THE LEAKS TOO??? okay but privately... real talk... narratively speaking i actually hope it's nobara with one of gojo's eyes.

i read a fic where gojo gives nobara his eye as soon as he gets out of the box bc he feels like he failed his student and he wants her to succeed. and it just HIT DIFF.

gojo's emotional arc of "being the strongest means being unable to connect to others" has always been so muddied by suguru and megumi and even yuji and nobara.

like? he obviously CAN invest himself emotionally in others, but the manga heavily favors showing him being arrogant, being invincible in battle, beating the crap out of people. or locking him in a box sdfgjhklshg

his character as a whole would have so much more depth if gege put a spotlight on gojo as a teacher, which is where all of his humanity is. gojo's not fighting to protect the world or whatever. he wants to protect his students.

he wants to raise up new, powerful sorcerers, he wants to feel less alone, he EXPLICITLY wants to form a connection with these young people he's personally mentoring. we find out he hid straight up HID sukuna's final finger just to protect yuji!

it sucked that we never saw him think about megumi, even internally just going "i know megumi would choose for me to kill him now, if it would save his friends". gege STOP BEING ALLERGIC TO GOJO CHARACTERIZATION! IT'S THERE! STOP DENYING IT!

OOOO I love the theory of it being Nobara actually cuz I miss my girl fr, though I'm not sure if Gege's gonna be that nice to us.

I deffo agree with the Gojo as a teacher characterization like I NEED MOREEE GEGE GIVE ME MOREEE. Here are a few of my theories on next chapter tho, let's see:

GOJO IS BACK, I think the "unmistakable eyes" kinda did it for me. But what if he lost an eye/ was nerfed a bit in some way because his eyes looked black. And he fights Sukuna - maybe with Yuji? Idk I need him to get back at him for the 3v1 shit.

Nobara or maybe Kenjaku - Kenny in Gojo's body?? Maybe?? Like we saw his body disappeared, right? What are the chances that Kenny got his grubby lil' hands on it (stay away from my man Ken).

Was literally just a hallucination or something. Because I feel like a) Gege isn't THAT nice and b) Yuji is reaching his full potential as a sorcerer and MC so putting Gojo back into it might just throw everything off.

[hollyhomburg]

Seeing your responses to asks about the new chapter and just general questions it brings up- I’ve been intending to ask, and feel free to not answer this ask at all if it spoils anything and stuff, but like,

why are moonbyul and her pack so intent on ‘getting’ the mc? I remember you said once upon a time that if she joined their pack she would probably of ended up being used for moonbyul to have kids or something? So I don’t get why she’s so intent on pursuing her. I thought for a moment it might’ve been because she actually went ahead of plan and killed the don and beta- like it made moonbyul interested in her in a sense of ‘I wonder if I could make you do this stuff for me, rather then yourself’ or something- she seems a little like the type to want her omegas all obsessed and stuff which like,, creepy but you’re kinda hot so whatever

Along that line, I also don’t get what her endgame is with how you said Hyein contemplated killing Jimin. Sure Mc would leave the pack for their safety but she would just end up hating moonbyul and her pack from something like that. So if the end goal is a sort of ‘ownership’ that’s honestly not how to go about it

If that spoils then don’t worry about answering obvi lol but it’s just a question that plays on my mind from the new chapter that I kinda wanted to get out- even if you can’t answer this for spoiler reasons I hope you can enjoy knowing that one of your readers are set into deep thinking from your really intricate writing lol <3 love ya and your writing li, thank you so much for all you do for us fans - you’re such a dedicated and thoughtful writer and seemingly person from what you put through on here with your fanfic and other random posts, I hope you know we appreciate you!!!

oh okay so, maybe this is not as obvious as i thought it was but ;-; it's mostly because of three reasons,

1. because of the m/c's addictive slick, moonbyul's alpha and other alphas in general can kind of 'sense' that the m/c has this, it's mostly phermonal.

2. Because moonbyul and hyejin collect omega's, hyejin was moonbyuls first addition to her collection in a way but after she came along they very quickly got the other too. it's a power thing, the m/c is both veulnerable and beautiful. most alphas, moonbyul included- view the aquisition of omegas and many omega's as a status symbol. for the same reason why hoseok's coeworkers tease him for having so many alphas in his pack- it's kind of a societal norm that an alpha in possession of a good fortune will have several omega's, especially in certain circles.

3. They want to posess her as of right now in the story in part because it was kind of an understood position of them helping her escape geumjae/kill the don and beta that they would get her in their pack as a result. they wheren't just helping her and usuing her, they where manipulating her towards their own ends. after she killed the don and beta this got even more kind of validated- because moonbyul is the one who kept the m/c from being killed. in her mind- she owns the mc, regardless of yoongi's mating mark.

(this next section is vaugely spoilery) you're right in saying that "Sure Mc would leave the pack for their safety but she would just end up hating moonbyul and her pack from something like that. So if the end goal is a sort of ‘ownership’ that’s honestly not how to go about it" thats exactly why moonbyul DIDN'T order hyejin to kill jimin. she knows that if they do want to get the m/c, they'll likely need some collateral or something more to convince the m/c to be theirs willingly, the endgame with them is not physical captivity, it's emotional captivity. hyejin and moonbyul contrasted with geumjae- are much more interested in mentally fucking up the m/c than actually physically harming her through physical abuse. it's a delicate situation.

aghhh thank you for apreciating it in all its intricacies! i know sometimes it might feel like it's too intricate, at least we're not just frustrated right? i'll answer your questions for as long as i can.

[misc-obeyme]

I'm back already I-

But please hear me out.

I was writing another chapter for my fanfic in Wattpad yesterday (It's basically the OG OM! game rewritten, but with more scenes, more logic(?), more insight on the bonds between characters and added HCs.) I'm currently doing Lesson 1!

For this I watch gameplays bcs of course I'm too lazy to play all over again and I haven't even finished the game myself-

Anyways, while watching, Lucifer mentions tasks. In-game, he already knows that the tasks are dance battles. And well I didn't like that.

What if Lucifer didn't know about dance battles? What if he had set up much different tasks, aiding to 'polish MC's soul', which was said to be MC's task?

That's exactly what I did.

But I don't plan on mentioning what the actual tasks are (bcs my imagination ran out yesterday and I already published the chapter)

What do you think the actual tasks could have been?

PS: Have fun next week! Relax and enjoy your days off!

- 📻

Don't worry about your ask box frequency, it's all good! I get people who go months between asks and then there are people who go minutes between asks lol.

Anyway, I have to commend anyone who has the patience to do a canon story rewrite like that. Just thinking about it makes me want to take a nap. It was difficult for me when I was writing Arrie's story, too. Because I felt like I had to incorporate him into the existing story, but I didn't want to rewrite the whole thing. So I kinda glossed over most of it lol. Like here are some extra scenes and there's like one that I redid, but for the most part I just skipped over that stuff.

So all that is to say that I'm impressed with your dedication to such a project! It's probably way better than canon, too!

Let's see, so tasks that could potentially polish MC's soul in place of the dance battles?

I mean it's hard to say what exactly is needed to polish MC's soul, you know? The game doesn't give us the mechanics of that particular situation.

Initially, I would think it would have more to do with the Celestial Realm than anything...

But perhaps it's more about just... not doing things that could tarnish the soul (such as the sins) and then possibly doing things like good deeds to polish it?

It happens naturally any time MC does something nice for someone, which is probably all the time considering how nice the generic OM MC is.

But if you had to have like... have actual tasks? Maybe it's just stuff like organizing Lucifer's paperwork for him or making sure that Beel always has a snack handy so he doesn't rampage. Helping Mammon with his debt, talking Levi out of his self hatred, etc etc. Like I think the tasks would be related to each of the brothers in some way.

Or you could go more like... magic-centered and say that MC has to do something like various spells to polish their soul in a more literal sense.

I kinda like the idea of tricking the system lol. Like hang on, we can just use magic and now it's like MC has the shiniest soul ever! Why do I feel like Solomon would help with this if you wanted to do it that way?

And thank you, I am definitely looking forward to my days off! I'm hoping to get plenty of writing done too~

[coconox]

late night ramble but ig heres my 2 cents of this poll (not directly attaching this to the poll cause im a coward LOL)

ofc, i won't put my thoughts on luci/belphe/asmo. ik we get tidbits of them through their nobles or pb's prev games but i wanna judge them based on how they actually show up in-game. i also know there's prob gonna be some luci lore later when gamigin update is out (atm its like abt 4 or so days till that update's release) but i'll just omit my thoughts on luci for now

ok now for the rest of the kings:

i should also put a disclaimer that i don't read any of the unholy board stories unless if it's mammon's, so for the other kings that aren't mammon my opinions are purely based off of main story or event appearances or how they act in comics

satan - honestly pretty ok w him. i'm kinda biased when it comes to mc being recoginized as their own person rather than purely just the descendant of solomon so i like him based on that. idk i don't have any strong opinions abt him i just see him as a very fluffy cat :3

mammon - absolutely love him. 0 flaws. wins the idgaf war. my absolute fav squeak toy. lol ok but fr tho i don't really have any complaints abt him. will spoil tf out of mc and wants to ensure their safety. also sees mc as mc and was even kinda disgusted(? idk a better word for this💀💀) by the fact that a part of solomons soul can be sensed in them, almost as if he doesnt want it to be in the way of mc. also wasnt afraid to call out the fact that sitri kept calling mc solomon. and ofc the love at first sight thing is great too but also the bodyworship (or ig faceworship bc he only just kissed mc's entire face??) before the confession like UGH... absolutely weak for that man (devil?). idk i dont rlly see that many mammon fans rlly anywhere and it saddens me hes such a good char outside of just having huge tibbies. srsly tho pb pls we get it he has huge tits you dont need to constantly bring it up the char sprite is literally right in front of us-

cant wait for the next chapter w the big lore dump abt mammon and hope we finally get a pt 2 of his h scene (hopium)

no srsly he's the only king w 1 h scene, satan and levi got 2,, WHERE IS MAMMON'S PT 2

as a side comment also i love the silly banter btwn mammon and satan like they are truly besties from the cross on their foreheads to matching skill names to the amnt of times they throw hands and still hang out and care for each other

beel - hes ok ig? i think lore-wise hes gonna be one of the more interesting ones considering how "mysterious" he is i.e. constantly wandering, almost being an absent king. like what led to the constant wandering? what did andrealphus mean when he said beel is the key to ending the war? how does his cloning work? i kinda feel bad for bael and the other nobels needing to manage everything while beels away but i don't rlly hate him for it? at least not now considering we don't rlly know the definite reason and i want to assume the best and say he has a valid reason for being absent so he could protect his region. hate is a strong word ig its more of a slight dislike towards beel, but its like this 🤏 small of a dislike im still overall neutral abt him

levi - falling into the majority from the poll i have to agree that levi is my least fav king also lol. i get where he's coming from and why he acts the way he does, i just dont like how he's written? or ig moreso how he's written in the perspective of mc. tho tbh that's more of an mc issue than a levi issue, but i got pretty tired of the story constantly reminding us how pretty levi is (similar to how we always get reminded of how big mammon is/how huge mammons tits are). idk its like a gut feeling to not like/trust him. i also just don't really vibe w him in general even before we were actually introduced to him in main story. hes a good attacker gameplay-wise tho lol

so yeah, those are my thoughts for now. ofc they could change in the future when we get more info abt all of them but we'll see

[feathers-little-nest]

And here it is, the list of my fav Iron Widow moments! Enjoy?

As always feel free to discuss with me or share your favorite moments!!

It's below the cut bcs spoilers

- chapter 5, I figured that I could note my fav moments of this book as well XD

- starting on not the best note, I fucking hate Yang Guang, I hate him so much, I want to rip his guts out,

- chapter 8, the fight was so epic!! I love how MC just kinda forgor about the whole dying thing and went with the flow

- and that she killed that motherfucker! I didn't have to tolerate him for too long >:D

- it's honestly quite funny that Qin Zheng was killed by pox (I hope I'm getting the name of the illness right lol, I'm reading this in Polish translation and have 0 knowledge about any medical terminology in English)

- just a note but it's harder for me to keep up with those notes for Iron Widow than for Qian Qiu. I think it's because 1. its pace is faster 2. its chapters are shorter. so anyway

- chapter 10, Wu Zetian just needs to scream 24/7 and I respect it so much

- chapter 12, idk, Li Shimin is kinda cute

- I also like strategist Zhuge but that may be just because he has a fan

- chapter 13, those qi power statistic are so untrustworthy lol. I wouldn't be so happy to have so much higher qi stats than the average if the margin of error is like 17k

- chapter 14, damn, I miss Yizhi...

- chapter 19, oh my god, Yizhi is back!! T^T

- I absolutely love all the tiny historical details in this story. I'm probably missing a lot but those which I can catch are amazing (and satisfying, good to know that I know something about Chinese history after all that learning)

- chapter 20, OMG YIZHI IS BI?? IS THIS FINALLY SOME GOOD BI REP??

- ZETIAN IS ALSO BI?? AM I IN HEAVEN? WHAT'S GOING ON??

- omg Gao Yizhi grabbing Li Shimin's leash is one of the things I need to draw, damn, it paints such a clear picture in my mind

- chapter 21, Sima Yi is just a hater by nature and I start to enjoy it,

- chapter 23, Yizhi screaming "you can't shoot me I'm rich!!!" I love this boy

- chapter 29, god, Yizhi, Shimin and Zetian are sooo cute

- also "one traumatized Xing Tian", that made me laugh out loud

- "usually adding qi of a third person only strengthened the dissonance (...) no one knows why we succeeded" yeah I wonder why, hmmmmmm

- chapter 30, MY BABYGIRL LI SHIMIN GOT CALLED AN ALPHA MALE I'M DYINGGG

- I kinda like Gao Qiu. I know he's probably bad news but damn, he's fun

- also a Wu Zetian fan nr1, seeing his reaction I'm surprised that he didn't ask for an autograph (I forgot that he's sexist af)

- tho, tbh, I think he's more afraid of what he can't control than purely sexist; interesting guy, I want to dissect him,

- I wonder if anything happened between LSM and GYZ during that party at Gao's, hmm,

- chapter 31, OUR THIRD PARTNER YIZHI, AWWW

- chapter 36, I actually think Sima Yi might be one of my fav characters? come on, the guy came to the wedding just because he wanted to support his little dumdums

- chapter 39, YES FUCK AN LUSHAN

- damn I didn't think they'll actually kill him. oh well. he won't be missed. judging by his character, even his son won't miss him

- Yizhi is the wife in this throuple, isn't he /jk

- OMG THE TRIANGLE IS FINISHED, THAT WAS SO CUTE!! WAAH

- chapter 42, I like how Wu Zetian's reaction to something not going well is just "maybe we should burn ourselves alive actually", relatable queen

- Sima Yi just lost his good guy badge. he better have a damn good excuse for abondoning MCs this easily,

- chapter 44, QIN PIERDOLONY ZHENG, już zawsze będę go tak nazywać 🫡

- chapter 46, is Qin Pierdolony Zheng playing snake with hunduns instead of apples¿?

- I still can't believe that Shimin is actually dead. Like. Dead dead. Super dead. Human marmalade dead. How... why him T^T

- chapter 47, I love how among all this death and destruction the worst problem Qin Pierdolony Zheng has is inflation,

- epilogue, DID SHIMIN BECOME A GOD PLS TELL ME HE BECAME A GOD

- Qin Pierdolony Zheng has a beef with gods, I think he's the most rel character now

[lostfracturess]

Hello Nici,

I hope you will have a great day today and you are doing well.

Mhh where to start. I enjoyed the new chapter. The title reminds me of a kpop group, who introduces themselves with "Say the name ..."

Prof Geto, I feel sorry for him. He gives me 2nd lead vibes ... I usually root for them in media but in this case... the main male lead was written to awesome to ever lose... I love their supportive relationship.

Satoru × reader's character development in this chapter was something I wished for a long time. When she admits her feeling for him, the water metaphor (I want to quote it but I dont want to spoil others), the passage was beautiful written. It made me swoon in the dark corner I was reading. When he confesses, it brought a tear to my eye.

He struggles to get clean, she has to fight her inner demons. Sometimes reality hits you like a meteor when it feels like you just want to continue staying on the ground ... I want to cheer them on and say: You can do it! Please don't give up!

I also partly understand why the reader decided to go to the party... its risky/stupid/dangerous, she needs a distraction (I hope nothing happens... she already has enough on her plate) ... but she is human, she is imperfect. My mom often said to me: "We all make dumb decisions ... otherwise there won't be a story to tell..."

And the ending... I hope we can see more about his past (　ＴДＴ) Looking forward to the upcoming drama.

ps: I started to watch a police series on Netflix, where one of the MC is in the same shoes as s&c reader. And it reminded me a little bit of your story.

Bye bye Nici ( ￣▽￣)

so happy to read that you enjoyed the latest chapter anna :'')) and you're so right, suguru is kinda a second lead but i'll make it up to him in his spin-off i promise <33

and i'm so so glad to read that you liked the water metaphor, sounds weird but i was kinda proud at myself for writing this hehe. and even more happy to read that it brought a tear to your eyes. can't believe i'd actually can stir these type of emotions with my writing :')) like that's insane for me <33

& with the thing about going to that party you summed that up pretty well what i wanted to show, like yes it's stupid and she knows it but sometimes you just make stupid decisions. that's life :')

can't wait to bring you the next chapter and with it probably a lot of PAIN <33 and pls tell me the name of that netflix show !!! i need to know, sounds so interesting !!

[velvetbunniie-archive]

AHH YAY FOR THE BOOK BLOG!! Can’t wait to hear all of your book thoughts <3

I do have a question for you: I know how you feel about Jacks and Eva (and that whole disastrous spin-off), but what are your thoughts on the original trio (Scarlett, Tella, Julian… and Dante/Legend too I guess!)? Thoughts on the ships, the characters, the plot itself?

(Also, I’m glad your surgery went well, wishing for a speedy recovery and nothing but good news from here on out!!!) 💗💗💗

OH, EVERYONE WILL B HEARING THEM… i am annoying, babey!!!

((we don’t talk abt that fucking spin-off on this blog.. love and light <3 need to send eva back to her pre-algebra class fr.))

BUT THE ORIGINAL TRIO…. scarlett is honestly one of my fav ya mcs still… she’s got that eldest daughter syndrome burned into her + she’s so refreshingly sheltered and anxious, but has the strength at the core of her that feels so human and mundane … that said, i think maybe she should’ve smacked tella for killing herself and coming back to prove a point. as an elder sister, i think scarlett should be a bit more ruthless, don’t you agree?

and julian is also a nice departure from the typical ya male love interest, wherein he’s, like, actually respectful, omg?? and kind and sweet? i find him much more interesting than dante (though maybe that’s bc legend being his brother is important to his character development. i will accept legend for this reason and this reason alone.) honestly, out of all of the characters stephanie’s written, i think scarlett and julian are the most soulmate-coded out of all of them. i mean, they have matching white streaks in their hair bc they died together for a day <3 need i say more? the DEVOTION!!! even in the small things!!

i will forever mourn the fact that stephanie felt she wasn’t mature enough to write their love story in legendary… be soooo serious. i want to see it!!! instead we get, like, two scenes with scarlett and julian when actually i deserve a thousand of them. on top of that, it defs feels like lazy writing to ignore all that development that occurs in that book. many issues with this (>jst wants to see them kiss a bit more, ithink.)

((also they were quite possibly her strongest-written charas with the most compelling storyline… WHERE are they!!! i deserve to see more of them!!!!!))

OH ALSO, THEY WEREN’T A LOVE TRIANGLE (legend tried for,like , half a chapter, that doesn’t count), and that, my friend, is what i like to see in a soulmate couple. or in more ya couples in general, bc i literally can’t do this anymore. (>will make exceptions, as always)

i found tella to be fun, it a bit like most of the ya mcs in fantasy novels… but again,, you can’t tear a character that’s a bit of a bitch away from me. go harder. make her a feral bitch too. but, oughhh, the ya fantasy series doldrums… the love triangle… :// maybe i want tella to be meaner to jacks (and also i think jacks wants tella to be meaner to him too. many things to think of.) rather than running off with legend.

whiiiich brings me to legend. i kinda hate that he’s the way he is. he’s jst super up his own ass in a less engaging way than jacks is (i also want jacks dead. we all know how i feel about him. killing him with my mind.) not only that, but he’s boring. oh my god, he’s so boring. the romance with tella felt like stephanie chickening out / making the sisters fall in love with the brothers to make it nice and neat.. honestly, finding out she hadn’t decided who tella would end up with while she’d been plotting out the novel made me all the more enraged. we have a boring ass bitch here??? instead of jacks?? instead of an actually more engaging plotline? i want ppl that are horrible !!!! i’m here for an interesting time, not a wholesome one!

that said, i want jacks left out in the cold, where he’ll die alone. love him to bits. i hope he’s mauled by a wolf <3 i’ll also stick him in a little terrarium, if need be.

anyway, i… won’t lie, i think finale is probably the most interesting book (mostly bc we actually get to see mistress luck, god bless!!), but the scenes with tella and legend had me rolling my eyes. when has he ever been interesting enough to pine after? maybe tella should’ve jst remained single (and honestly, with that travesty of a scene in once upon a broken heart wherein all of the original characters had their personalities mauled to bits, it certainly fucking feels like tella’s single). but alas.

(yes, it defs did!!! my hand’s bruising a bit and my stitches are stinging like a bitch rn, but such is the nature of having a healthy hand in the end, i guess ;;;; )

[ted616]

Psychology in CSM: Denji's relationships and how they affect his character. Also a bit of how he affects them.

So. I was really bored and haven’t stopped thinking about CSM since finishing the manga more than a month ago. So here comes a big essay in well, what it says on the top. Just kinda letting my thoughts out about stuff and my interpretations. I think (!) I mostly understand everything well, but who knows.

Beware. This is LONG. a LOT of text is coming. a LOT.

First of all.

Denji is presented as a somewhat relatable, teenage MC. What this means is– Even if his life experiences are really specific, specially because of how absurd CSM is as a whole– His way of thinking and living is one that easily resonates with any teenage boy reading this manga. His kinda stupid, charming, genuinely kind-hearted and just wants people to love him. It is all throughout Part 1 that he tackles his own feelings and humanity, and learns from all the shit that happens to him. So let’s get a recap on all the people in his life and how each character affected him to become who he is in Part 2. (This is being written after the release of Chapter 120, so yeah).

The most important person to understand Denji’s psyche I believe is a character we do not know much about. No name, no design, almost nothing–

Denji’s Mother.

As it was said before, we know little about this character. The only data we have is that she died when Denji was still young (probably aroud 1 to 4 years old or so), and that it was from a heart disease he inherited and was “cured” of when Pochita fused with him.

Why is this character so important? Because it is her death that sets up one of the “pillars” of Denji’s personality and story.

Denji never had a mom, truly. Because she died when he was so young, he doesn’t hold memories of her. From a young age, he was robbed of a maternal figure and left with many men who made his life all the harder and shittier. It is the lack of a maternal figure that makes Denji initially fall in love with Makima, as he finally found the comfort and “love” of a mother in her, one he doesn’t fully understand; as he never once had it and only thought of women as people to please him until that very moment. That is why he seeks Makima’s affection, why he decides to join Public Safety and the hunt for the Gun Devil, because then Makima would do anything he wants! And because he loves her, that’d be perfect, right?

The lack of a Mother is what made Denji the perfect target for Makima, a young boy who had never really felt *love* and who had the Chainsaw Devil inside her. It is because he was robbed of that affection at such a young age that she could manufacture it for him and later on destroy it. Sure, if he actually had a caring mother everything would’ve probably gone a similar route! But it is because he didn’t have one that it was so easy for Makima to do. It’s grim, and fucked up! But everything in CSM is like that, and I think it’s really interesting to think and talk about.

Denji’s mom is truly an enigma of a character, and we don’t really know anything about her as a character. But I think that’s what makes the mysticism around Denji’s past so interesting and intriguing, and why I personally love to write/read about it in fanfiction. I really hope we see more of that past in the future, but at the same time feel like it’d be hard to do/and we really don’t *need* it to understand Denji’s character further.

Anyways. To the next asshole.

Denji���s father.

We don’t know much about his dad either, but we do know more about him than about Denji’s mom.

Denji’s dad was a drunk asshole, who had a multi million yen-worth debt with the yakuza for a reason. For what we know, he abused Denji physically and verbally, probably as a result of his mom’s early passing? And it was because of that abuse that Denji responded, defending himself and killing the man by his own hand.

It is here where Denji faces his first trauma. He runs away from the reality of him being his own father’s killer, taking advantage of the set-up made by the yakuza to fool himself into thinking of it as a suicide for what was most likely around a decade. It’s a fact that would break him if he ever remembered, and it’s one of the triggers that Makima pulls to awaken the Chainsaw Devil from him at the end of Part 1.

I see this event as the first in a series of different happenings that feed onto something– Denji’s guilt. In Part 2 we see a sadder, more tired Denji; who’s eyes look almost empty and who probably isn’t getting nearly enough sleep as he should. That can be for many reasons, and one of the reasons I believe is the sheer guilt he feels after the events of Part 1. Because he caused everyone around him to die, becuase he killed his own dad. He’s really different to the Denji from Part 1, because he has to face the reality he’s in; one where everyone he cared about has died, one where he sees himself as at least a partial reason for their deaths, and his father’s death is what “starts” this. His mom died of a heart virus, so that couldn’t be his fault– But he killed his dad. In self-defense, and we do know that the bastard deserved it– But he still killed a man. Not a fiend taking his best friend’s body, not Power being killed because he was controlled by Makima to open a door.

With his own hands, before even becoming a half-devil, when he was fully human, he killed a man. It doesn’t matter the reason, that weighs too heavily on anyone’s shoulders, and that’s why his subconscious hid away the memory for so long, and why Pochita tried to bury it further once he became one with Denji; because it would completely break him. And, as an audience, we know what happened when he finally remembered. 

And lastly, I won’t linger long on his relations with the yakuza, because most of what could be said is clear in the manga. For years, he was used and beaten around for a debt that wasn’t his, and finally he was betrayed by the same people that used him and “killed”. 

With these three examples a lot of stuff is clear, but one is most interesting to me.

Denji, in his 16 years he’s lived before the start of CSM, has never felt truly loved by a human. In his entire life, all the people around him have used and abused him, and the only who didn’t and who would’ve possibly loved him died when he was too young. Denji doesn’t have any real reasons to have any attachment to Humanity. The same humanity that wronged him, made him feel like shit, that starved him for weeks, that the best it would give him was stale bread and trash food– For all we know, without Makima in the picture he probably would’ve stayed by his own after the Zombie Devil fight and probably made himself an enemy of both Devils and Humans, possibly killing a bunch of the latter (especially if Public Safety tried going after him, something that surely would’ve happened).

Anyways. This goes directly to one of the most important characters in this manga.

Pochita.

We enter the field where I could make a specific post talking about each of these characters, so I’ll try not to make it too long and just talk about his relationship with Denji and all that. Sorry if it ends up being a slog.

Pochita meets Denji right after the death of his father, and makes it so Denji isn’t alone anymore. Pochita is widely different to everyone Denji’s ever met, as he indeed is, a Devil. Denji clearly didn’t know too much about devils at this point, and so seeing one like Pochita– A little dog, bleeding out in the open and whimpering in fear– He takes the initiative in helping the little mutt in exchange for help.

Via their contract, they become each other’s first ever friend. Pochita finally fills the hole within Denji’s heart, the one of a caring person who would listen to him and make him feel loved, even if he were a mere dog; while Denji finally fulfills Pochita’s dream of having a friend to hug him, something that was impossible for him until recently as we would later on learn.

Pochita is another reason for my point of Denji not caring about humanity. His only friend, ever, was a devil. The only one who listened to him, cared about him and made him feel loved, and gave him warmth in the cold nights in his shack, and who he shared every meal with– A devil. 

Finally, it is Pochita who makes one of the biggest sacrifices in the whole of Chainsaw Man. Pochita gives away his own free will, his life in a sense, for Denji’s sake. Pochita’s dream was already fulfilled, so now he merely desires to see Denji’s come to fruition, and experience those moments with him, even if Pochita isn’t really *there* anymore. Furthermore, even when the Chainsaw Devil is reawaken and Denji’s mind totally breaks, what Pochita tries to do is completely opposed to what one would think a devil like him would do. Totally opposed to what Makima would’ve expected, too.

Pochita tries to run, tries to do all of the things Denji dreamed about when they were still with each other physically, all the things Denji talked to him about. He tries to eat a burguer at a fast food place, tries to go on a date with the only girl Denji knew at the time, anything that would trigger Denji’s humanity and would bring him back.

Finally, Pochita trusts on someone else to Denji. After all his attempts are ruined, after Makima has them pinned down– Pochita locates the little bit of blood from Power, and “revives” her with that. Pochita trusts Power, because he knows Denji loves her like he loves Pochita, because he trusts that at least she could do what’s right to help their friend. And, finally, it is by Pochita’s trust on her, and Power’s own trust in Denji, that he can come back. 

Something to be noted is that Pochita isn’t *dead*. He lives within Denji, talks with him in dreams, and they even somehow interact within his mind. Pochita still actively cares for what’s best for Denji, and wishes him to do what’s best for others (Like in the case of Nayuta). Pochita is, to some extent, a figure that still helps Denji out in his journey, even though he can’t be there with him anymore.

I could really write a whole different essay on Pochita as a character, but that’s for some other day. Anyways, I’m gonna leave Makima for the end, so the next character’d be–

Aki.

Aki is the first actual instance that Denji has of someone, *a human*, caring for him. Aki cooked for Denji, gave him a roof, a bed, clothing, etc. Even if it was all somewhat fabricated by Makima, Aki and Denji learned to love each other like siblings nonetheless. They sadly didn’t have too much time together, but we, as an audience, know that the time they did have was the happiest one for the both of them. Denji had a family, a brother and a sister, who cared for him and who he cared for; who watched TV with him and enjoyed having him around. 

All the while, for the first time since he was a child, Aki gained a family. After all those years, he slowly stopped caring for revenge, and now only cared to make sure that those two’s lives were safe and sound, even after his inevitable death. It reached a point where he was willing to pull away from killing the Gun Devil, because he didn’t care about the mission anymore, or at least cared less about it than he did about Denji’s and Power’s wellbeings; because when he was faced with the possibility of them dying, he got scared. Afraid.

All in all, the Denji we’re seeing now in Part 2 is a lot like the Aki from Part 1. He’s keeping up a house with a devil and 8 animals, cooking, getting all the money he can get to sustain them all and pay for Nayuta’s tuiton, while having to take care of all the dogs around and such. I’d imagine that many of the things he has to do daily now would be impossible if not for the influence Aki had on his life, and the imprint he left as an actual (somewhat) responsible adult. 

And again, Aki’s death feeds into Denji's guilt and current mental state directly. Even if it was most likely a lie and impossible, he may still believe that he could’ve done something to prevent it. That he could’ve saved Aki, that he could’ve reciprocated all the love and care he gave them, but didn’t. This may enter the headcanon field a bit too much, but I do believe that we’ve seen him mention Power but not Aki for a reason– Because he had closure with Power. Because he promised to find the Blood Devil and turn it into Power again. Meanwhile, the last time he saw Aki was the day he left their home and came back as a fiend. Never did he have the chance to say goodbye, to make any promise to hold to, anything. Aki left their home, the Gun Fiend came back knocking and he had to kill it. He had to give in, to lose all belief that the Aki he knew was still there, because he had to. Even thinking about him probably damages Denji like nothing else, to think of the brother he lost, the one he killed. The one person he could’ve saved.

Anyways. Aki’s character is also a deep one that I’d love to talk about some other day, so let’s keep going.

Power.

I’ve seen many people interpreting Denji and Power’s dynamic as a romantic, and while I wouldn’t *judge* people over it, it does rub me the wrong way. Because many times it is established that they do not hold any romantic feelings for each other. They do find comfort in one another like they don’t with anyone else, but it is always claimed how Denji doesn’t feel any attraction towards her like he does with the likes of Makima or Reze.

Anyways. As it is said by Power herself, Denji is her first friend. The first human to care about her in any way, to help her out even after she wronged him, fooling him to be food for the Bat Devil. Even after that, he sticked with her, ultimately finding in Power the sister he never had, someone even more fucked up and dirty and asshole-y than himself, who hid away her care for others in her own pride; but clearly needed him and Aki to persist.

It was Denji who helped Power through her PTSD of the Darkness Devil fight, while Power was one of the people who stuck with him through everything, who *cared* about Denji.

It is with her sacrifice that we can see this to the fullest extent. At that point, most of the people around him cared about the Chainsaw Man, and the Chainsaw Man only.

Devils wanted him dead because he was the Chainsaw Man. Reze, for all Denji knew, just wanted to get the Chainsaw’s heart. Makima only cared about Chainsaw Man, and thought of Denji as a repulsive insult to the Chainsaw’s “legacy” or “mystique”, of sorts.

Power cared and believed in Denji. She believed in him, she knew he could defeat the Control Devil, and she knew he could continue his life forward. Without Aki, and maybe without Power herself; because she knew Denji. She knew Denji could withstand the worst of shits and come back from it, and she believed in him to find the Blood Devil and turn into “herself” again.

And with that comes another point that I raise. Maybe also a little bit too headcanon-y, but I want to get it out.

When Devils die and are reborn, they forget their previous lives entirely. That’s why Nayuta can be raised to be a better person than what Makima was, the whole nature vs. nurture thing. Why am I bringing it up?

When the Blood Devil comes back, it won’t be Power. If Denji gets the Blood Devil to befriend him, and he gets to tell her all about her past life, it may turn into something *like* Power. Dirty, egotistical, but caring and loving of her family. But the memories won’t be there. The experiences Denji, Aki and Power had together would still only survive in Denji’s mind.

The Blood Devil may be capable of being like Power, but it isn’t capable of *being* Power. And that’s alright, because I believe that’s what Power wanted when she made her contract with Denji.

Power knew she’d die, and she knew she wouldn’t remember her past life. I believe, and remember, this may be a little too headcanon-y, but I believe that Power doesn’t plan on “coming back”. Power planned for the Blood Devil to come to Earth and learn to love, learn to live happily with a family, just like she herself did. She wants Denji to have someone there for him, someone like Power, even though Power herself isn’t really *there*. She merely wants the new Blood Devil to have the chance to experience the beautiful life Power had with Denji and Aki, because as a fiend and devil herself, she knows how great it truly is. To have people caring about you, to share your meals with others, to sleep in the same bed with no true romantic intentions. To have a family.

Now, what do we get from all of this?

First, all of these people showed and taught many things to Denji.

Aki taught him that humans can be kind and caring out of their own heart, not expecting anything in return. Pochita helped him be himself, live life at its fullest just like he dreamed for so long. And Power taught him why he shouldn’t merely chase women for romance, why and how anyone can just be your friend, or even something far beyond than a mere friend, while not being in a romantic relationship. 

But most importantly, Power and Aki are what ultimately proves something to Denji; he’s human. It may’ve been said by Makima originally, and maybe it was with her that he cried for the first time, but it’s not truly the same.

He came into Public Safety doubting if he was truly human anymore, doubting if he’d ever cry for people or himself ever again. When Pochita “died”, he didn’t cry. When Himeno died, it stung, but he didn’t really care that much. He thought it’d be the same with Aki and Power, both because maybe he just didn’t have a human heart anymore, and because, who would care for those assholes?

But alas, he did care. He cared, maybe too much, just like they also cared about him. Their deaths were what broke him, what changed him, what somewhat killed Part 1’s Denji and his innocence and his persona, what birthed the more laid-back, depressed and guilty Part 2 Denji. Because he truly cared about them like no one else, because they were the world for him, because it was with them that he truly was human. In a way, Denji opened many doors, and let these people into his life, let them change him and shape how he is as a person, and even though he loved them and they loved him back, that is what made everything hurt so much in the end.

That is why he wanted to give up. Why he wanted to just die, because his life had already been too good, it had reached its peak and then it had crashed down directly to the ground. It is Power’s words and contract that rekindled something within him.

Power’s sheer belief in him was what made him want to go on. Live, and defeat the monster that had broken his family into pieces. Even though he still loved that monster, he had to keep going and defeat it, for Power’s and Aki’s sake, for his family. He couldn’t give up, because that would mean all the love the three of them shared was in vain, a mere fabrication made by someone else in a twisted game, and that just wasn’t true. Because he loved them so much, because they gave everything for each other, their bond was real, and he had to fight for it. 

yeah i love the hayakawa sibs a lot. miss them too.

Anyways, we’re reaching the end (i think). there’s not many characters left for me to go over, but who knows.

Here comes a big one. I may not be the best person to describe this relationship, but I’ll try to, at least.

Reze.

Reze and Denji’s relationship is a tragic one, probably the most tragic out of Denji’s friends and such. 

Reze, like Denji, was a child who was treated harshly and used by those around her, growing up as a weapon for her government, not too unlike Makima herself. It is because of that that she’s sent to take the Chainsaw Devil’s heart, and so, she meets Denji. Not the Chainsaw Man, but Denji.

She was supposed to get close to him first to take his heart, and so, she did. She met Denji, a kid awfully similar to herself, with a charming personality and level of innocence that was awfully odd on someone like himself. He merely wanted to have fun, to love, to learn– Slowly, as Reze understood more and more about Denji, she fell in love with him. In how similar they both were, how he’d always try his best to make her happy, how stupid he could be at times– But, alas, she was still a weapon of the USSR. And so, she had to do as her job commanded, and try and take the boy’s heart for using it as a weapon like herself.

It is after a long fight, in a moment where she can see how he still cares about her, even giving her his own shirt– She presented him with an option. She so deeply wanted to go away, to be left alone by Public Safety and her own countrymen, that she proposed to Denji the idea of just escaping. Leaving and never returning, something she thought he would love! Because they were so alike–

But he couldn’t. Even if he loved her so much, even if Reze meant so much for him, he couldn’t leave Public Safety like that. Not only would they find and kill him, no, he probably never thought about that too much… He couldn’t leave his family behind. He was just discovering what Aki and Power meant to him, how comforting it was to have them and a nice house to live in, and he was still in love with Makima. Even if it hurted, he couldn’t leave with Reze.

Even so, he still tried amending that. He tried to get her to meet him at their usual place, to have a normal date and maybe sort things out with Public Safety, but alas, she never showed up. And I believe this is something really important to understand about Denji’s POV; 

From his perspective, Reze never came back. For all he knew, she wasn’t truly in love with him, and didn’t care to show up for their date. Denji didn’t know what really caused her to stand him up that day, and the next time he saw her– It was as a mere puppet of the Control Devil, trying to kill him. I may have the facts wrong, and I kinda hope I do because this is so fucking sad srsly I hate fujimoto– But Denji never learnt the truth. He never learnt that Reze too didn’t go to school, that she loved him, or that Makima was the real reason why she wasn’t there when she had to.

Here, Denji learns more about himself. He learns what true love is, even if at the time he hadn’t realized it yet; it is with Reze that he understands what the companionship he yearned for so long really was. Not a warped, controlling maternal love that was never reciprocated, but an actual, teenage romance of two people that are so differently similar. And it is with Reze that, for the first time, Denji has his heart broken. Maybe he turns away from it quickly, goes back to just trying to impress Makima, but that is still something that stays in a teenager’s mind, no matter how hard one tries to suppress it.

The thought of what could’ve been, of what would’ve happened if. It’s something that would nag at anyone’s head, and I imagine that it probably still hangs around Denji’s, taking into account that in Chapter 120 Nayuta mentions how “every woman he meets tries to kill him”, I do believe that may imply that he’s told her about much of his past, including Reze. Again, maybe a little too headcanon-y, but that would mean she still holds a place in his mind, which is not really far-fetched or anything, so–

Anyways! We’re coming to a close. I would love to talk about Kishibe, and do love his weird father/uncle-like relationship with Denji, but I don’t believe it holds anything too important aside from having teached a lot about Devil Hunting to Denji. I’d love to talk about it more deeply once he comes back in Part 2 and more stuff happens though! He’s easily in my top 5 CSM characters lmao

Anyways. Here comes the big one.

Makima.

Makima is to Denji many things.

His first love, his greatest opponent, a mother, the person that gave him a purpose and then shred it into pieces.

In a way, they’re similar. They both were confused, lost children once, that needed help and care from others. It took Denji long before he got it, but he did; and that saved him. Makima, on the other hand, never truly had it. She grew up a weapon, someone who couldn’t understand companionship that wasn’t formed by control and manipulation, and so she seeked for someone of her caliber, someone at her own level. That someone was the Chainsaw Devil, the only one who posed a substantial threat to those like her, the Horsemen. 

She fantasized and dreamt of the Chainsaw Devil, as her equal, as the one who could give her her perfect world, or, if not, that would give her the most honorable of deaths.

But Makima never understood the Chainsaw Devil. How it never wanted to harm, to kill; it only ever wanted friends and affection, just like she did. Maybe she never realized, because she held it so highly, but the Chainsaw Devil was the most human of devils. 

But the one who understood the Chainsaw was Denji. He understood Pochita, and gave him a house, food, warmth, protection, and a friend. He gave him lots of hugs, and pats, and always shared with him, and always talked about the dreams that Pochita loved to hear about.

Makima couldn’t begin to understand that. She never once saw the Chainsaw Devil as Pochita, but as the Hero of Hell. She was jealous, jealous of a kid who was similar to her, but who could get that affection and connection with her idol, her equal. She couldn’t begin to understand the Chainsaw Devil as anything but almighty and powerful, as a beast of destruction, one that kills any that it finds on its path. 

Makima gave too much to Denji. She gave him a home, food, a family and friends… She gave him hope. She tried to take it away, but she couldn’t. His relationships with those around him were far too strong for them to be broken like that.

Denji, finally, killed Makima. But everything was still too hard for him, because after everything, he truly loved her. She used him, manipulated him; killed everyone important to him, even weaponized them. But she gave him everything he ever wanted, she gave him his first hug, his first bowl of udon…

Many people loved Makima mindlessly, because of her powers. Aki doesn’t remember *why* he even loved her, and the fiends only remember her “saving” them. The Hybrids too, were clearly mindless as she used them, the Katana Man, Reze and Quanxi all having many reasons to despise her to the core, but her control was just that powerful.

Maybe it influenced Denji to a point too, but something is clear. Denji truly loved Makima. He wasn’t controlled, at least for most of it, like the others. He had reasons to love her, many in fact. All of them may have been fabricated, acted, a lie– But they still were there, and he still remembers all of them. Denji was the only person to truly and wholeheartedly love Makima, but she never cared about that. She merely cared about Pochita, the Chainsaw Devil, who in return merely loved Denji.

Makima hasn’t left Denji’s mind yet, and she probably never will. Because he HAS to remember her, remember all that he went through, for the sake of the ones that died, and for Nayuta’s sake. To be sure she never ends up like that, to be sure she knows she’s loved.

Makima traumatized him like nothing else in his life. The Gun Fiend attack, the memory of his father’s death coming back, Power’s own death, Reze never showing up for their date, etc. All of it was her fault, and he may stop loving her some day, he may already have; but he will never stop remembering all of those moments. How sad, pitiful and broken he felt, how depressed he may have been, how guilty he still is. All of it is her fault.

Yeah. I’m a dramatic bitch.

Anyways, now I should talk more about Part 2’s characters and their relationships with Denji, but I believe that’s best to do some other day, when Part 2 ends or is reaching a conclusion.

I will say, though. Asa is a perfect fit for him, and I truly want to see them learn and grow together, because Denji really deserves *someone* that won’t die on dissapear on him now. Yoshida is a mystery, truly; and I cannot for the life of me decipher what the hell is going to happen with that asshole.

And his relationship with Nayuta is really cute and I love them, but I feel like the way he treats her is probably going to backfire eventually. Not a Makima 2, but something else; that they can solve at the end and so they won’t have to repeat the cycle of just killing the Control Devil and trying again on its next life.

anyways if you read through all of this 1. youre kinda cool 2. you may like to read some other stuff (?!) hit up my AO3 i have a lot of CSM fanfiction there https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddd11

[elean0rarose]

Author Ask Tag Game

Thank you @daughter-of-inklings for the questions!

I'm putting this below a cut because wow, it ended up getting really long, but read on if you're interested in me rambling about my WIP, my writing process, what inspires me to write, and what I aim for in my writing.

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

In everything that I write, the takeaway is that ordinary people and underdogs can do remarkable things. You should never doubt the power of determination, grit, and the sort of resolve that comes from having nothing to lose.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

I draw inspiration from all sorts of places, but usually it comes from the knowledge I have of medieval Europe (which I want to learn more about—I have so many books on it I want to buy), Ancient Greek mythology and religious practice, other fantasy media, and fashion.

I like to create mood boards and have started a Pinterest again to hoard bits of visual culture that speak to me. This really helps me for things like character design.

I do also get inspired by music. One of my stories, and so the worldbuilding that arose from that idea, was inspired by NFWMB by Hozier.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

I'll speak about Blood and Water here, my novel-in-progress. Braddik, the MC, is on the surface simply looking for his long-lost father who he has never met. But underneath this is a yearning for meaning and to locate the self. Braddik as a character struggles to know who he is, and he misguidedly believes he can find that in another person who he has idealised in his own imaginings of him.

What I'm trying to achieve with Braddik is quite a bit, when I think about it. The aforementioned themes of ordinary people being able to do great things is on there, because he sets out on a continent-wide journey on his quest for family. But I'm also trying to show that these idealised fantasies we have aren't all they're cracked up to be when we get close to them.

Finally, I'm also trying to represent in fiction what it is like to have paranoia—like, not anxiety, but actual psychotic paranoia—because I think that's severely lacking. Whether he's right or wrong about things is inconsequential. It's more about how it affects him and his relationship with others and the world. It is neither a positive nor a negative, it just is, and there is no need to cure him as a plot point because that's not the story I'm trying to tell

How many chapters is your story going to have?

I have no idea. I kinda just write and see where it takes me—I'm absolutely a pantser. Then I'll figure out how things should be grouped up for chapters in the edits.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

All original content. My short stories are going out for submission in speculative fiction magazines, but I'm struggling to get my foot in the door at the moment because it's very competitive. When I finally finish the novel, I hope to have a few shorts published to help me get into trad publishing. It's a big dream, but we've all gotta have dreams, right?

When and why did you start writing?

I've written mainly non-fiction throughout my life, so imagine my surprise last year when I started writing fiction! It was the turning time between spring and summer, and my novel idea just... came to me. I had the first two lines rattling around my head for a few days while on holiday, so one morning when I got up earlier than everyone else, I wrote them down and then just didn't stop writing. It didn't take long to fall in love with it after that.

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

I follow waaaay too many people to list them all but I'll tag some below to take part in this and you can go check 'em out! I'm not too sure what is meant by "words of engagement", but if you mean encouragement, then I'll say this:

Write. Write because your brain bleeds stories and your fingers ache for the touch of a keyboard. Write because it sustains you more than bread ever could. Write because it is your deepest desire unlocked and spilled onto a page. Write because this is what you dream of, because it is your most enduring love. Write.

I'm tagging, with the usual caveats, @sometimesraven @callahanscorner and @mundanemoongirl. Others feel free to take part even if you're not tagged!

Your questions are:

What was your first ever story idea? What happened to it?

What's your writing routine?

Are you a plotter, a pantser, or something in between?

Do you try to tell moral stories throughout your work, or any other life lessons? What are they?

What do you prefer, character development or worldbuilding? Why?

Do you have any tips for budding writers?

Who inspires you to write the most?

[m1ckeyb3rry]

A

LMAO we only accept non basic exceptionalism as coined by Karasu but if reader had an espeon and got eevees with otoya imagine how much worse the tweak out would be when otoya gets a sylveon LMAOOO reader gets espeon first and hes like oh yeah seal the deal im def getting an umbreon now gotta have the power duo and then bam sylveon

Omg wait hioris nidoqueen just becoming an honorary member of reader and co solely because of it getting along with nidoking and garchomp waitttttt imagine a side story where they get stuck in like some electric type situation (im thinking like the ferroseed issue in the bw anime) and they have to rely on their only ground types (iirc those are the only three then but I could be wrong but ykwim) actually i always found those episodes interesting where they get stuck and are limited to a certain pokemon (bonus points if the character didn’t originally get along with that one LMAO)

LMAO wait that lowk also makes more sense I feel like a deino would harder to catch than phanpy waittt illegal pokemon abuse ring arc that would go hard

LUKEWARM DONUT thats so random im crying i almost forgot about the whole “team x thinks she’s one of them” thing im ngl it kinda makes me laugh like ofc those team organizations are usually huge but i just imagine it like you don’t even know your own co workers LMFAOO

WAIT ATOPPP THATD BE SUCH A CUTE EPISODE zooming in on little Polaroid snippets of precious moments

LMAOO no because I read that fic like “okay so where’s part two with justice for Karasu….”

SHSHSHSB OAEU BAROU WAS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD I actually had such a fun time reading it as usual can’t wait for what you cook up next!!

I’m fr waiting for s2 to spread the tabieita agenda given that there’s a good amount of focus on them in the first third selection match in very hopeful LOL

LMAOO I originally thought of pursuit being another Nagi marker for you (and hopefully it’ll still be one) but itd be kinda comical if people ended up associating it with Barou instead HSGSHS but once it’s actually written it’ll probably be more Nagi since hes, yk actually ALIVE and we see him a lot more than Barou

Professor aiku is gonna be so funny LMAOO like when he locks in people are like “wait you actually have a brain I thought you were just a Prof for memes and chicks” it’s crazy how we now have prequel main series and sequel cast developed LMAO

You probably already saw my commentary in your inbox by this point EDIT: I just saw the response gonna go read that now but OOOOH excited either way do you have anything particular in mind?

Also unrelated but have you seen the latest jjk chapter I lowk don’t remember like half the characters but yk it’s fine

- Karasu anon

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING LMAOAOA like otoya sees the espeon and he’s like YUP we’re set time to lock in i just KNOW i’m getting an umbreon it’s basically fate and then he in fact does not 😭 but agreed karasu said it best there’s no time to be mediocre/average when we can have fun cool slightly unusual pokémon (not that reader’s team is super off the beaten path anymore but still i feel like hydreigon is def a bit of a rarer pick than garchomp for example would be)

yes nidoking and garchomp are the only ground types w reader and co!! actually mc trio doesn’t have any either the only other ground types are barou’s krookodile, hiori’s nidoqueen, and yukimiya’s steelix 🧐 imagine we get a yukimiya comeback just for that arc LMAOO like they’re struggling nidoking is carrying everyone on his back and then all of a sudden yuki pulls up like “need a ride 🤩⁉️” and everyone piles onto his giant snake HAHAHA

agreed i think her deino will be very stubborn esp at first (houndour beats it up while it’s still young so it listens better once it’s older) so it makes sense that it refused to be caught plus phanpy being more common means reader probably wouldn’t care as much like if she misses she misses but deino she NEEDS to have (or maybe deino is about to destroy their campsite so the only option she has is capturing it since houndour is off helping karasu collect firewood) the pokémon abuse ring is def an interesting arc i’m looking forward to it!! basically otoya is so rizzful that the nurse joy is like “look the police/government aren’t doing anything about this but you guys are trainers can you investigate” (as more hints towards the government’s corruption…maybe they’re being paid off by the leaders of the ring??) and otoya immediately agrees (even though he and reader literally have one pokémon each since deino’s still healing at that point and karasu + tullia are busy elsewhere) so then he and reader go undercover and end up busting the ring and exposing them before sending them to jail (this could also make them automatic opps of the government since they’re clearly unruly/difficult to control)

LMAOO no because team x grunts fr see the houndour and they’re like yup okay she’s one of us even though there’s zero other evidence that she is?? but maybe the houndour line is rare due to their bad reputation and association w team x so they weren’t entirely wrong in assuming that

bro once again pokémon studios needs to hire me IMMEDIATELY i could make such a good series like literally just animate pursuit atp it would be fire…speaking of side stories idk if you remember the pursuit graphic so i’ll add it down below

i was thinking like for the side stories i’ll replace the houndoom with the character’s signature pokémon/starter?? so for a karasu side story it would garchomp, for otoya it would sylveon, hiori’s is kingdra or maybe nidoqueen, tullia’s is infernape, isagi’s is stoutland, etc etc i think it would be a fun way to differentiate the side story chapters from the main ones!!

no fr i was like ok so can we leave otoya and get w karasu now?? please??? i don’t want eita he’ll CHEAT on me GIVE ME KARASU NEOWWWWW and then i just wrote a bunch of karasu one shots myself JFJDKS

i actually feel like rather than barou people might associate it with KARASU since he’s the most present male in reader’s life during the story (at least before nagi starts locking in) and they’re super super close and as we know people have a hard time differentiating between platonic/familial and romantic love 😓 imagine everyone’s like “why didn’t she end up with karasu they’re obviously in love” HE’S A PARALLEL TO HER BROTHERRR (technically cousin but for emotional closeness’s sake barou’s her brother) COME ON NOW YES THEY LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH NO IT IS NOT ROMANTIC anyways…

PLS pursuit universe is so deep and extensive we fr have every era defined…no because aiku as a professor cracks me up he definitely is the professor that gets stuck without a pokémon and the trainer character has to pick a pokémon at random to save him (maybe this is how niko meets him LMAOOO) to be fair bro IS doing a thesis like he is quite smart he’s also just goofy (very brock coded)

i’m very undecided what to release next…i’m getting lots of sweet comments abt the barou version of the oaeu so maybe i should just stick with that?? or maybe old requests?? or my 1k event?? smth else entirely?? it will be a surprise just whatever i’m inspired for when i sit down w my ipad to write ig 😭

i did see it!! i am…uh…a little lost tbh it felt very random once again like nothing of particular note actually happened 😰 and now the trio is just going on a mission?? but this wednesday is the last chapter so for better or worse things will be over then!! maybe it’ll make more sense afterwards 😭 lowkey i can’t believe it’ll be over in three-ish days that’s kind of insane to think abt…definitely the end of an era

[otakween]

Head Start at Birth - Chapters 1-10

This one popped up on MAL suddenly because the JP title begins with a "0." Always excited to read/watch something new for a change, but this looks kinda bottom tier. Not only is it an incredibly generic plot, but its adaptation is a short episodes anime 😬

ALSO, this manga is being sold in the west as chapters and in the Webtoon style? I'm old school and kinda hate this. Why can't I just buy volumes?

Ch. 1

Oof this is so generic. I'm trying to give it a chance but the cliches are too much. The art is...fine but not very memorable. At least it's in color.

The mom got over her 3 year old making land management recommendations waaaay too quickly.

>_> Is that much older looking dude the love interest? I'm gonna throw up.

Lilia was 30 when she got isekai'd so I guess I'm supposed to be the target audience here? I feel like if I was in her position I wouldn't be like "YEAH, LET'S LEVEL UP!" I'd be like "YEAH! A CHANCE TO BE A KID AGAIN AND GOOF OFF!"

I feel like they vaguely implied that the mom is an evil capitalist (monarchist?) since she won't give people tax relief. That could be something interesting to explore...

Ch. 2

Reslar (the dragon) sounds suspiciously close to Rizzler lol

They introduce 3 age appropriate boys and then she immediately falls for the older guy. I get that she has the mind of a 30 year old but it's still weird. They'll probably go the "he waits until she's older" route. Whatever -_-

I was pleased that Lilia's parents stayed on her side as she was slightly rude to the royals. Their loyalties are in the right place at least.

Why does every shoujo isekai gotta be fixated on otome games and villainesses? It's honestly so bizarre how keyword obsessed media is these days...

Ch. 3

Yeah so, this is a romance isekai where the MC is 5 and the love interest is 15 🙄 I get that it's kinda based on the olden days when engagements like that were normal due to political marriages, but still. We don't really need to be romanticizing this stuff nowadays, right? Especially when it's a fantasy world where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Oh well.

This situation reminds me of The Familiar of Zero when Louise had a much older fiancé. Although in that series I think it was kind of portrayed as a little creepy/unsettling. Wow never thought I'd be praising The Familiar of Zero as a more progressive option 😅

I do appreciate that the dad (Guy) is ride or die for his daughter, but the joke about him thinking she'd been raped was a little tasteless.

We have yet to see what the plot of this series is going to be. Is it going to follow the romance angle mainly or is it going to be more about Lilia's personal development?

Ch. 4

Lilia's mom looks a lot like she stepped out of Umineko no Naku Koro ni. It's probably just the cravat lol.

We learn about Elrich's tragic backstory (his parents were executed for treason). Unfortunately, it didn't really make him a more interesting character. I had hoped he'd have at least some sort of reaction to the engagement but he's pretty much just "bland perfect husbando" so far.

The sex fantasy was something I could have lived without. Straight to jail.

Hopefully we can get an Elrich chapter here and there to flesh him out. I don't care how much he looks like Lilia's fave otome game character.

Ch. 5

I was wary of the parents at first, but they seem to actually be really good parents? Also, Lilia's mom is super politically smart too (girl boss lol). I guess the doting dad thing is basically just a stock character, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Glad the spirits get to show some actually emotion for once (well, Reslar does anyways).

I do like that Lilia is more focused on her ambitions than Elrich. She just happens to also be really horny for Elrich lol (I'm sorry...that's how it's portrayed).

Ch. 6

Okay, I'm kinda getting into this >_> it's just shoujo isekai brain rot basically but the art is so cute and it's been a long time since I've read a manga in full color

Dressing in your fiancé's color is so romantic ;w; (although I guess people don't always have signature colors irl lol).

The dynamic between mom and Lilia both being badass boss babes gives me Yor/Anya vibes because of the ages haha.

That gothic look with the princess curls was serving (werk)

Ch. 7

Urgh my anime arch nemesis appears...head pats. I don't think they're cute at all, I think they're weird and demeaning. (Even if I was 5 years old I think I'd be like "get your hand off my head" lol). I still don't know if this is a thing Japanese people do IRL or not.

Lillia being instantly OP at everything she tries is pretty boring, this manga could use more conflict right about now.

Ch. 8

I like the princes' names (Isaac, Leonard, and Ferdinand). IDK if it would be better or worse if Lilia went for one of them instead. You can't win with rebirth scenarios lol

Ch. 9

Wtf, the spirits get ikemen versions? I can get on board with that actually. Some of my OCs are fantasy creatures with human versions actually...

"This is like having a sister" (file under: objectively weird things to say about your fiancé)

I can relate to Lilia's inability to relax. Productivity is fun to me 😅

Ch. 10

Still no ikemen Reslar, I'm surprised by the mangaka's restraint lol.

Wait how did people even learn about Lilia's dissertation? I thought they were keeping it on the down low.

The hedgehog spirit was cute. I'm glad they spared it lol

Lilia's spirits are just as OP as her of course -_- -yawn-

Well this was pretty forgettable, but it's a fluffy popcorn kinda read, so I'm not complaining. It's a bit unnerving having no idea how long a series will stretch to in these early stages. Hopefully this isn't a 100+ chapters one...

[sweetdreamer215]

Book Review: Two Twisted Crowns by Rachel Gillig

Title: One Dark Window

Author: Rachel Gillig

Genre: Gothic Romance (was not surprised this time)

Format: e-book

When read Nov 2023- Dec 1, 2023

First thoughts: Oh look the MC is back (there was a cliff hanger in the last one that I'm trying not to spoil so I'll put any spoilers for One Dark Window under the Keep Reading)

The story's prologue is in Elspeth, the female lead from the last main character and the chapter title says Elspeth. She is floating in some void and being told she needs to stay asleep a little longer. To be honest I should have realized that it changed character's POV from this but the last book was all in Elspeth's POV so it was a little disorienting to go into the male lead Ravyn's POV.

Ravyn has the same issue as Elspeth, and while Elspeth is very bland Ravyn has a little more personality if just towards edgelord, but to be fair to him he's just potentially lost the "love of his life." Which to be fair was kinda like wait how did they decide they liked each other in the last book so it feels even more ehhh. It was designed to be a slow burn romance but I feel the "I actually like him" part of Elspeth's point of view was lacking, you could see Ravyn liking Elspeth but Elspeth liking him back was not as prevalent. I do like Elspeth and Ravyn the more I read them and their points of view, like Elspeth is clever but her personality isn't fully out there (though it is more in this book). Ravyn is all about his goal and protectiveness and sacrifice, which is great but also very traditional male lead.

Ravyn talking to the Nightmare (the spirit in the card that Elspeth had absorbed) is on a quest to find Elspeth and to get the card of the Twin Alders before the solstice to cure the kingdom of the mist/dark magic affecting it.

While this is happening we are switching point of views from Ravyn, to Elspeth (which was surprising), to Elm (Ravyn's cousin and the brother of the wicked Crown prince). Those three are the POV we get the most.

To be honest I found Elm's story more interesting than Ravyn's or Elspeth's and I'm going to put the Keep Reading here to go into detail because small spoiler warning! A part of One Dark Window will be spoiled (aka What happens to Elspeth) and some small spoilers to Two Twisted Crowns

There are three major arcs to this story following Elm, Ravyn, and Elspeth, and from these point of views we gain knowledge of the Nightmare's past and Ione's (Elspeth's cousin who was engaged to the crown prince in the last book) story.

Elspeth had been locked away in her own mind in the last book as she was slowly losing control of her body by using Nightmare's magic until he was the only one left. She is currently floating in his consciousness where Nightmare knows she is there but can't find her. Her major arc is learning the past of the kingdom and Nightmare's past.

Ravyn's story is following Ravyn, his female cousin, the people who travel with him, and the Nightmare going into the woods to find the spirit of the forest to trade for the Twin Alders card. The entire point being to collect one of each card to sacrifice that and the blood of someone who is affected by magic/the mist, that will get rid of the mist. Why is he wanting to do this? The entire kingdom has been hoping for that to happen for years but the Twin Alder and Nightmare cards being missing has always stopped them. That and the king keeps killing anyone affected by magic. The only exception is his nephew (Ravyn's brother) whom he plans on sacrificing to save his nephew, who is slowly losing his mind and dying, from a painful death. Ravyn and Elm wish to save their brother/cousin. With Elspeth being absorbed into the nightmare Ravyn's other goal is to find a way to save the love of his life and bring her back from the Nightmare's consciousness.

Elm is trying to find a way to help and save his cousin who is like a brother to him, and deal with his father (the King) who is going insane with the Nightmare taking over and his son (the Crown Prince) being in a coma. Elm has to play double agent again from the King for his cousin Ravyn. He wished to go with Ravyn but wasn't allowed by the Nightmare and his own father, and he knew that it was better to not go as he is now "temporary crown prince." He is told to find Elspeth and other people who could be hiding in their old house. He goes there and finds Ione, Elspeth's cousin and the fiancé of his brother. She is still under the effect of her card which makes her unemotional as the price but she gains a beauty beyond all compare (Elspeth calls it a vain card). During this Elm finds out that his brother used his card to force her to use hers and hide her card so she had no access to it. So she would be beautiful and unemotional, he then made her forget where she hid it. The two of them become "engaged" because the engagement promise for the Nightmare card that Ione's father promised said a crown prince, not his brother. We learn that his brother is just a piece of work to everyone, not just to Ione, he lives for torture and would torture Elm when he was younger. The love story between Ione and Elm was much more vibrant and felt natural as they worked together to do their goals. I loved reading their story especially with the ending the both of them got.

Ione loves her cousin dearly, and its great that this is shown in this book. She loves her family and would do anything for the, but can't feel emotion due to her card so she seems cold and callous to Elspeth in the last book and they are misunderstanding each other. Ione feels that Elspeth is looking down on her as Elspeth is traditionally pretty and Ione is "plain." Elspeth loves the flaws in Ione and doesn't fully know how to explain herself as she's been hiding everything she is for almost her entire life.

Nightmare has a great story arc shown through both Ravyn and Elspeth. I don't want to give any spoilers for who Nightmare is (though its kind of obvious) and I'M STILL UPSET ELSPETH DOESN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH THE VOICE IN HER HEAD! Don't get me wrong I do like Ravyn and Elspeth together but they're not fully compelling characters and Elm and Ione is a much better ship in my opinion. Nightmare has seen the beginning of the Kingdom to the fall of its first king and the first Rowan king. He wants the fall of the Rowan line and is working with Ravyn because 1. he likes Elspeth, living in the girl's head for way too many years made him fond of her and 2. by working with Ravyn he can get his wish.

Finals thoughts: I don't know how I felt about the epilogue, but that may be just a me thing cause lately all these epilogues have felt very fanfiction (HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU HARRY POTTER 7 AND NARUTO). It was interesting but parts were easily over foreshadowed. I did like this one a lot more than I liked book one and to be honest it felt like both books should have been combined into one. Especially with book one ending on a cliffhanger! As a whole thoughts: I loved the magic system and world building of this world. The Shepherd King had some great world building and some surprises. Some of the Characters feel a little bland in the personality area or trope-y in the personality area but I liked them. Elspeth takes a little bit to warm up to, Ravyn is a traditional male lead (and this may be due to Elspeth's POV that there is really no other way to describe him but protective with a dark aura). Elm and Ione take the center stage of them doing a slow burn romance done right. I know I jokingly call it the twelve days of christmas tarot but its the perfect way to describe the card magic.

I would recommend reading as a duology if you want a gothic/dark romance and a fun magic system. This book is heavily needed for the first book so if you felt the first one wasn't complete this completes the circle.

Ratings:

Characters: 4 out of 5 stars

Plot: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Writing: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Overall: 4 out of 5 stars