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defmaybe · 21 days ago

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Someone in the Crowd

12 Days of Christmas: Day 12, January 5th, 2025

ITZY’s Lee Chaeryeong & Shin Ryujin x Male Reader

10.1k words

Christmas Masterlist

A/N: The work itself is going to be a little confusing because of the frequent perspective shift, hope you enjoy it! Also, thanks for the support during the last twelve days!

—

Another Day Of Sun

“So, Yeji,” Ryujin lets the last words trail off in the air. She’s twisting her ankles in nervousness. “I’d like to ask you something~”

Yeji doesn’t look up from her Percy Jackson and The Titan’s Curse. “What is it, Ryu?”

Ryujin giggles. She can do this. “You know you’ve always been my role model in a lot of things, being the strong and fierce leader you are~”

“Yeah, sure, strong and fierce.” Yeji pulls up an air quote, clearly amused by her friend’s sudden compliment.

“Yes, I love you, Yeji,” Ryujin sulks, putting her hands on Yeji’s shoulder. Yeji’s walls are crumbling.

“I love you too, Ryu,” Yeji says, without looking into Ryujin’s eyes. She’s still focused on her book. It’s probably the fun part. She seems to be in the middle of the book, though, not sure what’s so fun about that. Ryujin is more of a romance type than a fantasy one.

Ryujin giggles again. “Hehe, so, as I’ve said, I’d like to ask you for something.”

Yeji clenches her brows a little, but her eyes are still on the book. She flips it to another page. “For something?”

Ryujin’s smile is so bright it hurts. She’s definitely going to get this. Yeji’s giving in to her! “Tonight–”

Yeji suddenly closes her book, and Ryujin’s gleeful expression collapses. Fuck. Yeji didn’t even mark the page she was reading on!

Ryujin is definitely not going to get this.

“Tonight?”

—

Chaeryeong is waiting in her room, kicking her feet in a burning anticipation. Will she have to stay here tonight?

The US tour has been, to say the least, draining for the girls. Yuna is still asleep at two in the afternoon after last night’s show, while Jisu is now throwing profanities into her microphone to her Helldivers' teammates. Chaeryeong and Ryujin, on the other hand, have been planning to go somewhere on their last night in the US. They just have to ask for Yeji’s permission first.

She really needs this, and all she hears are faint mumbles from Ryujin and Yeji talking. Her heart is beating fast.

She really needs this, and it’s killing her.

She really needs this.

—

“Y–Yeah, t–tonight,” Ryujin stutters. Her face turns pale from fear. Is Yeji going to scold her?

“It’s not safe, Ryu. Do you know what can happen here?” Yeji’s expression is nothing but concern, caring for her friend’s well-being. Ryujin knows this, but the blazing fire inside her tells her to keep going.

“Yeji, please, I’m so tired from the tour. I really need this!” Ryujin argues, but it proves fruitless, as Yeji rolls her eyes.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t, Ryujin.” Yeji uses her full name. She’s serious about this. She throws the book onto her bed with a thud.

“But–”

“Nothing’s going to change my mind. Try,” says Yeji, her posture inviting Ryujin to bring up an argument.

She has already made up her mind. It’s over.

“F–Fine, Yeji,” and Ryujin walks away, heart full of disappointment.

—

Chaeryeong watches Ryujin walking into the living area, crestfallen. Oh, it was no for an answer.

“Is everything okay, Ryu?” she asks.

“She said no,” Ryujin answers, still looking down on the floor despondently.

Poor Ryujin, she’s so bad at persuasion.

“I’ll talk to her.”

—

“Yeji,” Chaeryeong says.

Yeji is back to her Percy Jackson and The Titan’s Curse. It’s probably the fun part. She seems to be in the middle of the book, though, not sure what’s so fun about that. Chaeryeong is more of a mystery type than a fantasy one.

She looks up from her book, adjusting her glass a bit. “Same thing?” God, she just read Chaeryeong so damn easily.

Chaeryeong sighs, walking towards the bed before sitting down. The bed creaks a little. “You know, Ryu has given her all for this tour. It’s normal that she’d need some relief. You understand how our lives go, right?”

Yeji sighs. Her expression softens. “I’m sorry, Chae. It’s just not safe out there! I can’t let you guys risk your lives just for a night out. What if you get abducted? What if someone recognizes you?”

“We’ll be careful, Yeji. I can assure you of that.” Chaeryeong pleads, putting her hand on Yeji’s. Chaeryeong has nothing but her promise.

Yeji sighs again. She’ll probably see their effort through the tour. They deserve this.

“Fine, Chae. Be careful, alright?” Yeji plants a kiss on Chaeryeong’s forehead. “Have your pepper sprays ready. Have our numbers on the speed dial.”

Chaeryeong beams. She’s going to have a lot of fun with Ryujin tonight. “Thanks, Yeji.”

—

“So, for the first week’s assignment, just give me anything, alright? Just give me anything you got.”

The professor’s words echo inside your head.

Well, what’s it going to be?

It has been the question you’ve been asking yourself since last Monday, and it’s Sunday now. You’ve tried picking the ones from your Japan trip years ago, but none of them looks good enough. You’ve gone to the Statue of Liberty. You’ve gone to Central Park. You’ve gone to the Brooklyn Bridge. None seemed to work.

Should I pick something from my home? No, that’s too cliché. Should I pick someone? That’s even worse. Everyone’s going to laugh at you.

So, here you are, in a bar at 6 PM, venting your struggle to your bartender uncle in a nightclub—under this eye mask the bodyguards insisted you wear.

You just can’t find a photo to hand in for the first assignment.

—

“Is there any bar you’d recommend to us, mister driver?”

The young driver has had his mouth opened wide for at least a few minutes now, unable to find a voice in his throat. Ryujin has to ask for the third time, and he’s still in shock to see his idols in the back of his seats.

“Mister driver?” Ryujin asks again. Her patience is running thin. Is her presence that shocking to someone?

“Let’s just open Google Maps and pick some random bar, Ryu,” Chaeryeong says.

“W–Wait,” the driver finally says something. “I know a place. I–It’s pretty private.”

Ryujin smirks at the response, and it sounds like a nice place to be tonight. “Take us there, mister driver.”

—

The night wears on, and people are filling the club. You’ve been looking at the photos on your phone for three hours now, and you just can’t seem to find the perfect photo for tomorrow.

The techno music shakes your body, sounds like Reznor and Ross. The colored lights get into your eyes sometimes, but they’re having less effect than they should’ve been. You’re still concentrating on your device. Some people have even bumped into you, but only an apology and your eyes are back at your phone.

“Anything yet, tiger?” your uncle asks, shaking his bartender thing you’ve never cared to learn its name. It kind of works as a percussion instrument.

“Nothing as always,” you reply with slight disdain. You’re going to be doomed when the sun rises.

He laughs, pouring the contents inside his percussion into a cocktail glass. “Try going out there and dancing! Perhaps you’ll find an inspiration~”

You smile softly back at him, but dancing really is not your thing. “I’m not really good at it, uncle. I’ll have to pass.” You take a sip of your Long Island Iced Tea.

He pulls your glass back, staring into your eyes with an encouraging smile. “Look, I’m not going to let your ass sit here being all hopeless like that. Get out there and dance!” he orders, smiling.

You sigh, giving in to his demand. “Fine.”

“Get someone back to your place too if you can!” your uncle says with a smirk before you walk away into the raving crowd.

—

“Thanks, mister driver,” Ryujin says before handing back the freshly signed Crazy in Love album to him. He’s shaking with excitement.

Ryujin and Chaeryeong get out of the taxi to a normal-looking nightclub. Two muscular bodyguards are standing beside the door. Damn, they look scary.

“IDs please,” one of the bodyguards says sternly, and both Ryujin and Chaeryeong comply immediately, showing their cards.

The bodyguards examine the IDs carefully, making sure that the women are of age. The air thickens, and Ryujin finds her limbs freezing up. Are they going to be recognized? Are they going to be denied from getting inside?

After a while, they finally nod in agreement and give the IDs back to her. Ryujin lets go of the breath that she doesn’t know she has been holding.

“Here are your masks. Enjoy the trip!” the other bodyguard says, winking at them with a smile. The tension drops. He hands two fancy-looking eye masks to the women.

He probably knows her and Chae.

—

Someone in the Crowd

Fuck, how can Ryujin hear her in a place like this?

The EDM music blares through the club. The colorful lights shine onto them. Chaeryeong scans over the club to find a quiet corner to avoid recognition. They still have to be cautious, even with a mask on. Sadly, there’s none, leaving them with only two options: leaving, or trying to blend in with the crowd.

Chaeryeong weighs the choices. The first one leaves her despondent, while the second one contains the risk of getting exposed by Dispatch by tomorrow morning.

This is hard.

But before she can decide, Ryujin drags her into the lively pack of people.

“We deserve this!” she shouts, pulling Chaeryeong’s hand into the crowd.

Chaeryeong feels unsure. She needs this, of course, but the fear of uncertainty lingers, and she just can’t let it go.

“Really?”

“Don’t live to regret this, Chae! We only live once!” Ryujin shouts.

That alone seems to make sense to Chaeryeong.

—

You aren’t sure what moves you are making. They probably look funny. God, you’re embarrassing yourself.

The bass vibrates the air around you and the crowd. You find yourself in the middle of the club, seeing people grinding on each other (even one another can be seen beside you, you swear). You start to feel the heat growing in your pants at the sight. If someone would be beside you right now.

The DJ announces something you can’t quite make out. The crowd roars in rejoice as you’re bored to death. Suddenly, the music changes to ITZY’s Wannabe. Holy shit, you recognize this. You can dance to it, at least a little.

Jansorineun stop it

People start to do Shin Ryujin’s iconic shoulder dance beside you, and you can’t help but join in. Her high-pitched singing voice fills the air with energy, and it flows through you so damn freely, injecting the missing liveliness into you. It’s giving you the life you’ve been missing for the last three hours.

Araseo halge

And that’s the first time you’re having fun tonight.

—

They’re singing their song?

Chaeryeong looks over at Ryujin to see her dancing to it, and she can’t help but follow her friend’s iconic move, smiling. She looks around to see the people also imitating the move. Damn, Ryujin must be so happy.

As the song goes on, Ryujin and Chaeryeong are laughing and dancing joyfully. People are singing and moving to their song! She finds herself beaming uncontrollably to see her efforts not going to waste. It’s like there’s a spotlight shining on them, and that couldn’t make her happier.

I wanna be me, me, me

The crowd cheers, along with Ryujin and her. The concept and message feel so simple, looking back, but the effect it had on people makes Chaeryeong so ecstatic.

Just be yourself.

This really is their night.

—

After a little over three minutes in heaven, the song ends, transitioning to the citizen-darling APT. You’re still enjoying it, but the thirst in your throat starts to grow.

It’s time for a drink!

You go back to the bar, evading the people grinding on each other (or one another, you don’t judge them, anyway) to your destination. You tap your hands softly on your thighs to the rhythm of the song.

You find your uncle waiting for you, standing in front of your seat, smiling happily at his nephew’s effort. He’s making a drink in his percussion thing. You’re making him proud.

“How did it go?” he shouts, shaking the drink masterfully.

You let out a somewhat drunk laugh. “It was fun. You were right!” Alcohol is starting to have an effect on you.

“Told ya,” your uncle says, before walking to the other side of the bar, leaving you tapping your fingers to the song alone.

—

Apateu apateu, apateu apateu

Chaeryeong dances to the beat joyfully. She loves this song, always has been. Her arms and legs are moving in sync to the beat. She’s happy. She’s ecstatic, even.

What she hasn’t realized yet is that–

“God, I fucking love this–”

–her friend is missing.

“–song.”

Apateu apateu, uh uh-huh uh-huh

Ryujin is probably going to the toilet, though. Maybe she should just keep dancing along to the song. Ryujin should be back soon.

—

“Long Island Iced Tea, please,” Ryujin says to the bartender. A young man is close to her. He’s tapping his fingers to the rhythm of the song disinterestedly. Is he waiting for something?

The bartender laughs. “Well, my nephew also likes it! Wanna make it two?” He asks the young man, who seems lost in his head. He only nods.

Ryujin lets out a small smile, before taking the seat next to him. He seems nice. Should she talk to him a bit?

“So.”

The young man turns to her.

“Having fun?”

He nods, smiling.

Ryujin lets out a small laugh. What should she start the conversation with?

“Do you listen to ITZY?”

Fuck, why did she ask that? What if–

“Yeah,” he says groggily. He’s clearly starting to get drunk. Thank god, she can probably show her true colors with him without much worry.

“Were you here when they played Wannabe?” he asks. His uncle hands him the Long Island Iced Tea.

Ryujin can’t help but let out a smile. He recognizes one of her songs! She then softly makes the shoulder dance, making him chuckling and following her moves.

He seems like a cool guy.

—

Where the fuck is Ryujin?

Chaeryeong starts her search for her friend, who has now been gone for twenty minutes. She’d never go for a long bathroom break anywhere outside of the hotel, of course. ‘They’re dirty’, she once said.

Chaeryeong scans the crowd for a short-haired woman in a blue denim jacket, but there’s none to be found. Her heart rate rises. What if she was actually abducted?

Fuck.

She tries to call Ryujin, but she doesn’t answer. She needs to go somewhere she can rely on.

Shit, the bar it is.

Chaeryeong walks towards the white area in the club's corner. She’s going to ask someone if they had seen a short-haired woman in her denim jacket, blue. She’s going to find Ryujin without raising a suspicion. She’s going to find her friend.

And be it fate, be it a mere coincidence. She does a double take, then a triple take. She finds her friend sitting at the bar, talking to a young man. Ryujin is rejoicing in the conversation, so does he.

Thank god.

—

“Hey, I thought I lost you!”

A sound comes from your right. You look over to find a tall, long-haired woman walking towards you two. She’s in a tight-fitted dress that shows off her curves beautifully.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” says the short-haired woman. She seems calm, unlike her friend, who looks a bit worried, hands shaking beside herself.

“Thank god,” the long-haired woman says, annoyed by her friend’s antics. “Don’t fucking go somewhere else alone, alright?”

The short-haired woman only giggles.

The long-haired woman shakes her head. “So, who’s this guy?”

The short-haired woman introduces you to her friend, who’s listening intently. You give her a handshake before dragging the chair behind you close for her to sit down.

And the night begins, for real this time.

The conversation goes on. Many Long Island Iced Teas are served to the three of you, and by the time you look at your watch, it’s eleven already.

Time flies when you have fun.

The conversation with these two unknown women has been nothing short of calming to you—a contradiction to the raging music around. You’ve talked about your life as a photography student, while they’ve talked about their careers. You find out that they work together, and you understand how tiring and demanding their job is.

“Is it fun working with your friend?”

The two women look at each other before laughing. “Well, it’s good sometimes. But yeah, there are times that I get tired of her face,” the short-haired woman says, as the other nudges her shoulder softly.

“Damn you.”

You look at your watch again. You should go to bed now; class is tomorrow morning!

“So, it has been nice talking to you guys–” you’re trying to sound as polite as possible before drinking up the last of your cocktail. “–but I have a class tomorrow morning, and–”

“Aww–” the short-haired woman sulks, kicking her feet like a child “–can’t you just stay? For us?”

“Yeah, please?” the other woman chimes in.

You genuinely appreciate their gestures, but you can’t stay up late like this, especially in a nightclub.

“I’m sorry, guys, but I really have to go.”

Ask for their contacts!

You pull your phone out of your pocket. “Can I have your Instagrams?”

The women smirk at each other. “Sure, if you can promise you’ll tell nobody about this,” the long-haired woman says.

It’s a bit weird, really, but they probably have their reasons. “Sure.”

The short-haired woman is the first one who types into your phone. She giggles while doing so. Fuck, should’ve cleared the search history first, those IVE Instagrams.

“Seems like you’ve followed me already~” the short-haired woman says, giggling, before handing it to the long-haired woman, leaving you confused.

Is she? She looks kinda familiar.

“And me too~”

You narrow your eyes. Have you met them before? Under that mask, you think there’s something about them, but you just can’t quite make it up.

She hands you back the phone, and your eyes widen at the realization as you look at your search history.

They signal a ‘shhh’ with their fingers, smiling.

They’re @iamfinethankyouandryu and @chaerrry0.

—

Ryujin then laughs at the man’s shocked expression, before closing in on his body. She gets so close to him she can feel his warmth on her. She plants a hand on his thigh, and he shudders in response.

“You know the implications, right?”

He can’t seem to find a word out of his mouth, still hanging open. He must be so damn shocked to meet his idols in a nightclub like this, and they’re lusting over him!

—

With the teasing image, Chaeryeong’s core starts to heat up with desire. She’s a little apprehensive, but with him still seems to be lost on what to do, or what to say next, she has to make a move. She follows Ryujin and touches his thigh.

“Come on, do you want us?”

She then glides her hand up his inner thigh, feeling his muscles. It gets closer and closer to the growing tent in his pants, before she stops just right before the contact. His breath hitches.

“I–I–”

“Don’t be shy, pretty boy. You’re quite a catch yourself~” she says, followed by the hottest lip bite she can make. He sucks a sudden at the sight.

“W–Won’t you guys get caught by D–Dispatch or something?” he asks, voice shaken. His hands are trembling with pure anxiety. “I mean, I’d be v–very honored to be with you two tonight.”

“Well, fuck Dispatch,” Ryujin says, and Chaeryeong nods in agreement. “It’s not everyday we get to do this.”

—

A Lovely Night

The taxi ride to the hotel starts quietly. He’s trying his best to not pull the driver’s attention to the fact that he’s heading to Ryujin’s hotel in the middle of the night. If the driver knows, it’s over for the three of them.

Ryujin, though, can’t keep her hands to herself, snaking down to his crotch whenever she can. She wants this so fucking badly. She’s getting wetter and wetter as the seconds go by. Her core is aching with unbridled lust.

He’s so damn big.

—

Chaeryeong can’t risk having her fame tarnished with a single night, but god fucking damn, why does Ryujin keep touching his cock?

“Want a touch, Chae?” Ryujin whispers into her ear.

Chaeryeong slaps Ryujin’s hand away from his length, not wanting to indulge in such perverse action. “Don’t fucking do that, Ryu!” Chaeryeong sneers quietly, and Ryujin giggles. Fuck, why is she so insufferable?

But Chaeryeong can’t deny the ache building up inside her crotch. She’s feeling it. She needs a release.

—

Ryujin doesn’t stop with Chaeryeong’s words. They only spur her on even more. Her hand finds its place under his tight boxers, and she starts stroking it softly. Her other hand grabs some creased dollar bills for the taxi driver. She’s going to keep quiet about this.

“How much do we have to pay you, ma’am?”

“Just don’t kill each other and you’ll be fine,” the taxi driver says.

—

Ryujin’s aroma is intoxicating you. It’s so sensual, and your cock is so hard because of it. You can’t help but let out a moan. She looks into the rearview mirror to see the well-being of her customer, but she doesn’t seem to care, as she switches back to see what’s on the road without a word.

Ryujin’s smell reminds you of those femme fatale you’ve seen in the movies—sensual, manipulative, dangerous. This is so heavenly for you.

After a while, Chaeryeong puts her hand on your body, feeling your tight abdomen. Her finger draws a pattern on your toned chest. She’s admiring your strong frame.

“You do feel good, pretty boy.”

—

“So,” Chaeryeong says, unsure of what to do next.

“Where do you want to start?” Ryujin asks.

You turn to her. Her eyes are bored into yours. She’s expecting an answer from you. Don’t just say ‘I don’t know, Ryujin’, but where should you start?

“Where do you guys usually start from?”

What a dumbass question! Do you think they bring a guy back to their hotel and do this every day?

“Kissing, perhaps?” Chaeryeong chimes in. “We should start slowly, what happened in the taxi doesn’t count.”

“I have a little game,” says Ryujin. Her hands are groping your back and chest. You shudder at the contact. “Let’s compare our kisses, shall we?”

You gulp, hands trembling, but you’re trying to keep your cool. “Sure, who should I–”

Ryujin captures your lips in a searing kiss, as Chaeryeong unlatches herself from you with a small whine. Ryujin’s tongue invades your mouth aggressively. There’s a faint hint of raspberry covered in that heavy Long Island Iced Tea she drank over the night. Her hands dig into the under of your waistband, groping your raging bulge through your boxers, making you jolt in response. You moan and moan into her mouth.

Your hands start to have a mind of their own. Your right hand snakes under her shirt to feel her toned back, while your left hand finds itself on her lacey bra, kneading her soft, firm breasts. God, she has a nice body. She moans and moans into your mouth.

“Damn.” You hear Chaeryeong say from the back, as you start to get used to Ryujin’s body.

Suddenly, Ryujin pulls back from the burning kiss. She’s panting softly, clearly satisfied with the kiss. “Could’ve used more tongue, but this is already pretty good.”

You try to catch your breath, feeling like Ryujin pulled the air out of your lungs. “Th–Thanks, Ryujin.”

“Your turn, Chae,” Ryujin says.

You turn to Chaeryeong. She’s staring into your eyes blankly. She’s as unsure as you.

You give her an offer, “Do you want me to–”

“I’ll–I’ll do it.” Chaeryeong says, before taking a deep breath. “I just–need to get used to your body a bit.”

Her hands start to find their rhythms. She starts from your hands, holding on to them softly. She then wanders upwards along your arm, feeling your lean muscles.

“You take care of yourself well,” she says, voice laced with sultry.

“Th–Thanks, Chaeryeong.” Your appreciative words are rewarded with a smile from her. Her hands then travel over your body. Her left hand finds your erection under your boxers. She’s stroking it softly, enough to earn a whimper from you. Her right hand runs over your back, sending pleasure through your frame.

“Nghh~”

After a few pumps, her hand leaves your cock, making you groan in the sudden absence.

She then grabs your chin gently, before pulling you into a loving kiss. The faint scent of your cock remaining in her hand flies into your nostrils.

Chaeryeong doesn’t let her tongue slip into your mouth like Ryujin did. She merely has a taste of your Long Island-laced lips. You can taste the strawberry resting on her mouth, mixed with the Long Island Iced Tea she drank throughout the night.

Your hands feel her pert breasts on top of her tight-fitted dress, squeezing them, kneading them. She has been taking care of herself well; you can feel it. You wander down to her wet cunt under her panties, and she gasps softly into your mouth. You’re sure that she loves this.

“Mmm, that felt good, baby,” Chaeryeong says, muffled into the kiss.

You feel her puffy cunt on your palm, seeking her wetness with your fingers. You find out that she shaves, before you plunge yourself into her drenched cavern.

“Mmmph!” she rasps. Her body turns into a jelly, able to be controlled to your liking. You dig your fingers deep into her sweet, wet cunt, before curling up to where she’s sensitive the most. She falls into your embrace. You hear Ryujin chuckling on your back. Chaeryeong’s body warmth emanates into yours. Her wet cunt is welcoming your fingers easily.

Still, you can’t let her cum so soon. You regretfully pull out of the kiss and her wetness, before sucking on your fingers lewdly. She tastes so salty and musky. God, what a pleasure to your tongue. Chaeryeong pants.

“S–So,” Chaeryeong says, still trying to catch her breath.

“Who’s better?” Ryujin asks, staring into your eyes.

You let out a sigh before answering, “I get to feel Chaeryeong’s pussy, so–”

“Hey! That’s not fair! You didn’t even touch my panties!” Ryujin sneers.

—

“Stand up and face me.” Chaeryeong watches Ryujin ordering, and he complies immediately. His erection pokes through his pants into a tall tent on his crotch.

She admires his stiffness for a while. She seems eager to take in the image of his big cock. Her hands toy with his bulge playfully, eliciting moans from him.

She then grabs onto his waistband, looking up into his eyes.

“Ready?”

He nods.

Chaeryeong watches her friend pulling his pants down, revealing the bulge under the boxers. He’s fucking horny for them, isn’t he? Chaeryeong can feel the heat building up within her core. She needs a release, but she isn’t brave enough to let it out yet.

The show continues, as Ryujin pulls his boxers down. His erection springs freely.

God, he’s so big.

Ryujin admires his length for a while. Her eyes are now gleaming with desire, and Chaeryeong can’t help but start to rub her core, sending shockwaves through her body. Fuck the reticence. She needs to cum.

“Again, you said that you didn’t touch my pussy when I kissed you, right?”

He nods sheepishly. Ryujin is going to make him feel her cunt.

Ryujin then pulls him down and captures his lips aggressively again. Chaeryeong lets out a gasp. This time, she brings his hand into feeling her puffy cunt, and he pushes his soft fingers into her. Chaeryeong can hear her friend moan needily into his mouth.

“Mmmph, that feels so good, pretty boy,” Ryujin says into the kiss. His fingers turn upwards to stimulate Ryujin’s inner walls, making her body shiver. Chaeryeong watches their bodies turning into a needy ball of lust. He’s so good at this.

Chaeryeong can’t bear the beckoning heat inside of her anymore. She pushes her slender fingers into her pussy, playing with the inner walls of herself. She quietly moans at the lewd sight.

—

You hear Chaeryeong moaning from the back. This probably spurs her on, so you lose yourself deeper into the kiss. You push your tongue into Ryujin’s mouth, and she gasps at such audaciousness. She wants your tongue, so you give her your tongue.

Your finger is still working on Ryujin’s g-spot tirelessly, trying to elicit moans out of her mouth. She responds willingly to your touch, and you love the way she reacts like this.

“So–So good, Ryu,” you utter, trying to keep yourself from getting lost in the situation.

—

Ryujin softly plants her lips onto the head of his throbbing length, rewarding her with an airy moan from him.

“Fuck!” he cries in a whisper.

He composes himself well. The other three aren’t going to wake up if he can keep his voice down like this.

“Come on, Chae,” Ryujin unlatches herself from his stiff cock, but still keeping one hand on it, stroking softly. “Make him cum.”

“B–But I don’t wanna kiss you, Ryu. I–”

“Now is not the time, Chae. Just come here,” Ryujin signals her friend to give him an otherworldly blowjob with her. She’s too drunk to care about kissing Chaeryeong right now.

“I–uh–fuck, alright!” Chaeryeong finally gives in, and Ryujin smiles at her friend’s compliance.

Let’s give him the blowjob he’ll never forget.

Ryujin plants her lips onto his cock again from his front, taking in his intense taste. He’s driving her insane with his cock. He rasps quietly in pleasure. His mouth hangs open, and Ryujin is sure revelling in the way he’s feeling her on his cock right now.

Chaeryeong then joins in on his back, starting to take a swipe of her tongue on his hardened testicles. Her hands land on his muscular ass. He’s covering his mouth to not let out a loud moan. God, what a sight for Ryujin.

—

Chaeryeong doesn’t want to kiss her friend. It’s weird to be Ryujin. So, she just paints his balls with her saliva hungrily, meticulously avoiding her friend’s lips. Her hands are roaming over his back—a courtesy of her, while Ryujin takes his front.

She then feels his hand gripping onto her head from the other side. Ryujin is getting it too. He’s pressing Chaeryeong harder into his ass. Their makeup starts to get messy from performing their oral masteries on him. He moans and cries silently in ecstasy while also trying his best to not wake the others up. Chaeryeong can’t help but to run her fingers down between his ass cheeks, and she gets another whimper from him.

His balls taste so damn salty, so musky, and that’s driving her insane. Her cunt feels like it’s on fire. She uses one of her hands to dig down her tight pants and rub on her swollen clit. It feels so good. It feels like she’s going to fly.

“Shit, this feels so–ahh,” a soft moan leaves Chaeryeong’s mouth as she plunges her fingers into her cunt, curling them up where she needs it the most. Her silenced whimpers hit his balls. God, this feels great.

—

The pleasure these women are giving you is unreal. Ryujin creates a suction around your cock, bobbing her head back and forth. She’s so damn good at this. While on the other side, Chaeryeong drags her tongue from your sack up to your puckered hole. Fuck, it feels so damn good.

You press their heads into your aching heat, and they seem to accept it eagerly. Both Ryujin and Chaeryeong up their antes for you, and that brings you closer and closer to your orgasm.

Suddenly, an idea pops into your head.

“Girls?”

“Yes?” Chaeryeong and Ryujin answer at the same time. They stop their oral masteries, making you groan softly at the sudden detachments.

“Can you guys like–sucking my cock at the same time?”

The two women look at each other. It’s going to make them think. You see Ryujin nodding, but Chaeryeong hesitates a bit.

“I–”

“I–I mean, it’s fine if you don’t want to, Chaeryeong,” you say.

—

Chaeryeong has certainly given some blowjobs, but this is the first time she’s going to do it with Ryujin. Hell, it’s the first time she’s going to do it with another woman. This is huge for her.

Chaeryeong contemplates for a few heartbeats. This is going to change the dynamic between her and Ryujin forever. On the other hand, the alcohol-induced aching inside her core is ravaging her inhibition. Plus, they’re just having a little fun anyway, nothing serious.

Fuck it, let’s do this.

She then shoots a grin back at him. “Alright, pretty boy, get on the bed.”

—

He quickly complies with her order. Ryujin watches his erection twitching in pure anticipation before turning to Chaeryeong.

“Let’s do this.”

Chaeryeong nods. She doesn’t seem to be weirded out by the prospect of kissing her friend anymore, and Ryujin couldn’t be more happy with the fact.

Ryujin then climbs up the bed, crawling towards him like a predator. Her eyes look into his hungrily, before taking a long lick from his balls up his shaft. He moans uncontrollably, still keeping his volume low, trying his best to not wake up the other women.

“God, you’re so good at this, Ryujin,” Chaeryeong says, following Ryujin’s lead onto the bed.

Ryujin giggles before giving him another wet lick on her throbbing cock. She has to make him falter under her touch. She gives him a lick, and another, and another. He groans, moans, and whimpers with her sensual contact.

And if that isn’t already enough, Ryujin takes his mushroom-shaped tip into her filthy mouth, coating him with her saliva. He grunts in pleasure. His body turns rigid.

“My god, Ryu–Ryujin,” he moans her name out, and that encourages her even more. She takes in more of his length with each bob of her head, staring from just the tip, going deeper and deeper. Eventually, her nose hits his pubic bone, taking him in fully and staying right there. She can’t think straight right now, with a cock stuffed in her mouth like this. She wants him to lose control. She wants him to moan her name uncontrollably.

She’s making gagging sounds. Her eyes are watery. This cock is too big for her, but her capacity means shit if that means she gets to hear her boy moan like this.

“Hey,” Chaeryeong snaps Ryujin back into reality, pushing her arm softly. “This cock isn’t just for you, Ryu.”

Ryujin regretfully pulls back from his hardness, slowly. The cock inside her throat is now gone. She whimpers at the sudden lack of filling in disappointment. Black streaks from her makeup are now forming from her tears.

“F–Fine.”

—

His cock is now slicked with Ryujin’s drool. He’s going to taste like Ryujin, isn’t he?

“Can I have him for a sec?” Chaeryeong asks her friend, still trying to catch her breath after taking an entire cock inside her mouth.

“Go–cough–ahead, Chae.”

“Thanks.”

Chaeryeong begins her show slowly, but there has to be sensuality in it. That’s her aim. She works down his taint first, drawing breathy moans from him. His taste is so intense, so addictive. It’s his pure body scent mixed with Ryujin’s raspberry. It’s like an aphrodisiac to her.

She doubles her efforts, drawing a straight line up from his testicles, to his shaft, to his leaking tip. Her tongue is making him whimper erratically, and she’s relishing in it. It feels good to have him lost in pleasure like this.

“You’re doing this pretty well too, Chae,” Ryujin says, finally recomposing herself beside Chaeryeong. He’s shaking.

Chaeryeong can only smile, her lips still busy kissing a trail on his thick cock. She’s smearing her essence all over him. He’s going to taste a bit–different after this.

“God, shit, just suck me off already, Chaeryeong,” he pleads, making Chaeryeong chuckle.

“I’ll wait for Ryu, pretty boy.”

Ryujin slowly recollects herself by the side as Chaeryeong is busy teasing his cock, wiping her own drool off her mouth. Then, she finally rejoins the play, starting by licking the underside of his hardness. He moans in ecstasy.

“Fuck!” he cries out, making Ryujin giggle softly.

Chaeryeong knows that it’s time for her to go in, so she pulls back, taking him on the left side. She’s inviting Ryujin to take the other side of his cock. Ryujin does so, and he lets out a whimper.

—

You’re absolutely revelling in the pleasure these women are giving you. Ryujin and Chaeryeong are giving you one of the best blowjobs you’ve ever had. The amount of saliva is perfect. The technique is immaculate. The sight is nothing short of exquisitely vulgar. You’re struggling to find a purchase in the bedsheets.

They’re sliding up and down on your cock from the side. When one goes up, the other goes down, keeping your cock being fully taken care of by their mouths the whole time. The pleasure on your cock shoots through you like a bullet. Fuck, this feels great.

Ryujin then syncs her movement with Chaeryeong, now moving together in an up and down motion. Their lips make contact when they’re at the tip of your cock, and sometimes, they put on a show for you, kissing each other with your cock in the middle. Their tongues pierce into each other’s mouth, grazing your aching tip as they kiss.

With such a lewd sight, you can feel your orgasm coming. Your legs grow tense. You’re going to cum from this double blowjob from your idols.

“Girls, I–I think I’m gonna cum.”

Both of them only reply with a giggle, before sealing the tip of your cock with a sensual kiss, one that’s so damn pleasurable for your dick. The view is just too splendid for you—two women kissing on your cock. The sensation is unreal. This is just too much. You can’t hold it anymore.

“Fuck!”

Cum is fired out of your cock into the kiss, and the women both hum in satisfaction. Your cock twitches between their dirty mouths. Your whole body jerks and spasms between them. Your whole life leads to this, and you wouldn’t change a thing.

Your whole body shudders in rapture, unable to make sense of the pleasure coursing through it. Cum is shot out of your cock into their mouths, and they seem to be happy to share your nectar together.

Your orgasm inevitably dies down. You’re starting to catch your breath. They look up at you with nothing but lust inside their eyes.

“That tastes good, pretty boy,” Ryujin says, scooping the remnants of your cum on her cheeks with her fingers, before plunging them in Chaeryeong’s mouth. She seems to be taken aback by it, but eventually, she happily accepts her friend’s fingers. Fuck, what a sight.

Chaeryeong is sucking her friend’s fingers with her eyes closed, trying to take in the salty taste of you as much as possible. She lets out a satisfied hum in the action, and you feel like you’re ready to take on both of them again.

—

Chaeryeong loves this. She loves the way Ryujin’s fingers are toying with her tongue. She loves the way his salty taste engulfs her like a tsunami. Chaeryeong fucking loves this.

“So good,” she says, muffled into Ryujin’s fingers, before they’re pulled out of her mouth, leaving Chaeryeong whining in disappointment with a string of saliva.

Then, as she opens her eyes, she is welcomed by the sight of Ryujin unbuttoning her shirt, ready to bare herself in front of them. Her black, lacy bra comes into view.

She looks so hot.

“What, do I look that hot?”

Chaeryeong recollects herself immediately. She’s caught staring at her friend’s body. How embarrassing!

Ryujin only giggles before removing her outer garment. Her toned tummy is now visible. Chaeryeong watches the man drool over her friend’s body, and she can’t help but chuckle at him.

—

Ryujin is now boiling with lust. She needs to get rid of this fabric cage as soon as possible. Her pussy is drenched, and she needs something inside her.

She quickly unlocks her black, lacy bra she’s wearing, exposing her firm breast for the other two to see. She feels so–naked, so–vulnerable, but fuck it, she needs something inside of her now, and it’s going to be his cock.

“Alright, you two–oh my god, will you guys just fucking stop looking at me and strip, please?” Ryujin sneers, fed up with their gazes on her. She wants a cock inside her now, and if their clothes are staying on like this, all this juice would be for nothing.

“O–Oh, sorry, Ryu,” Chaeryeong says before quickly unzipping her black dress from behind. Ryujin watches the act in contentment. Chaeryeong’s small breasts slowly come into view. Along with her friend, he strips himself off his shirt, revealing his toned abs for the women to see. Fuck, he looks delicious.

“Hey,” he says, chuckling, snapping her back into reality. “Ready?”

“Y–Yeah.”

He moves her chin closer into another torrid kiss. His Long Island-laced lips touch hers. His tongue pierces into her mouth with aggression. They are intertwined in a battle for dominance. His free hand grabs and squeezes her breast, eliciting a jolt in her body. Ryujin moans out into the kiss in pleasure.

She then hears Chaeryeong huffing. “Come on, guys. This isn’t just about you two!” Chaeryeong says, annoyed by the sight of the two kissing.

Ryujin giggles, before pulling Chaeryeong into the kiss. Their tongues are intertwining messily, drool is dribbling down their chins onto the bedsheets. Their hands are desperately clinging on to one another, trying to have their fair share of arousal.

“Oh god,” Chaeryeong utters, barely catching the chaotic rhythm of the kiss. Her drool leaking everywhere, splattering on Ryujin’s and his body. “Th–This is fucking—mmm.”

—

God, this is embarrassing for her.

Chaeryeong is having a hard time catching her rhythm. She’s trying, but the other two are so adept with their tongues it’s making her crumble.

“Goddamn it, s–slow down, guys,” she utters into the blazing kiss. Her hands are caressing Ryujin’s and his body. She knows that her spit is leaking, but she has to catch up.

She hears the other two giggle with her struggle. Fucking bitches.

Ryujin would be the first to pull back from the kiss, panting, leaving the two of them in the act. She leans back a little, clitoris already swelling with arousal.

“Alright, can you fuck me yet, pretty boy? A woman needs a cock over here,” Ryujin says, teasing her nub with her fingers.

“Just–Just go, she needs this,” Chaeryeong says. She can’t help but feel a little disappointed, as he pulls back from the kiss with a slight whimper.

“O–Okay,” he says, as Ryujin flips onto her stomach, hands and knees on the bed. She’s ready to take his cock.

—

Ryujin is on all-fours, ready to take his cock that she has been craving. She needs his cock inside her cunt. She wants to be plowed. She wants to be fucked.

“Yesss~ put it inside me, put it inside me,” she rasps—so eager, so needy.

He frantically tries to line up his cock against her cunt. His mushroom tip ghosts past her a few times, making Ryujin groan in dissatisfaction. Chaeryeong crawls to the front of Ryujin, spreading her legs. She’s going to have Ryujin eat her out.

“So, I’m supposed to be the middle woman here?” Ryujin playfully teases. She’s more than willing to taste Chaeryeong’s nectar.

“Y–Yeah–ahh! Fuck!”

Chaeryeong’s head falls backwards as Ryujin presses the tongue against her pretty cunt. Ryujin is quite sure that the other women might hear that, but Chaeryeong’s wetness and texture is just too exquisite for her to care. Ryujin lavishes her friend enthusiastically, lapping up the nectar that has been building up through the night.

“Nghhh~”

Chaeryeong’s taste is driving Ryujin insane. She’s salty. She’s musky. She’s perfect. Ryujin just keeps swiping her tongue against Chaeryeong’s folds, eliciting guttural, deep groans out of her friend. At the same time, he plunges his cock into Ryujin’s cunt from the back.

“Mmph! Shit!” Ryujin moans. His cock starts to fill her pussy as she’s lapping at Chaeryeong’s delicious cunt with reckless abandon. His cock is so big, making her feel so full. His hands grab onto her slutty waist for a hold, simultaneously locking Ryujin in place. She becomes a whimpering mess between the groaning him and the shaking Chaeryeong.

His length nudges her g-spot softly, making her knees weak. She falls stomach-first onto the bed, so ready to be prone-boned. Her tongue keeps up the work tirelessly. Chaeryeong is still a shaking lump of flesh in front of her, and Ryujin has to make her friend cum.

A cock inside her spurs Ryujin on. She licks her friend’s pussy even faster, and Chaeryeong starts to put the pressure on Ryujin’s head, pushing her head deeper into her cunt. Ryujin can’t think straight anymore—cock in her cunt, cunt in her face. The two of them are taking over her senses—the size, the taste, the scent. It’s everything Ryujin wants.

—

This pleasure feels like a sin to Chaeryeong. She can’t quite comprehend the feeling coursing through her right now. Ryujin’s tongue is doing wonders on her pussy, but she’s her friend! How are they going to look at each other tomorrow?

Still, the pleasure overwhelms her senses like a goddamn tsunami. It’s fucking electric every time Ryujin’s tongue glides past her swollen clit. Her cunt feels like it’s on fire. Hell, her hand even presses Ryujin’s face deep into her needy pussy!

“So–So good,” Chaeryeong mewls. Her head falls backwards.

The grip on Ryujin’s head becomes tighter. Chaeryeong is trying to intoxicate her friend, making her drunk with her pussy. The strands of Ryujin’s short hair find their places between Chaeryeong’s hands. Ryujin is drunk in her pussy, and Chaeryeong, even if it is so foreign, is loving it.

—

Shin Ryujin’s cunt feels too good.

You pound into her with reckless abandon, eliciting moans and whimpers suppressed by her friend’s cunt. She’s lying stomach-flat on the bed, so perfect for your domination. Her juice spills out of her needy pussy onto the bed. Those poor staff. They’re going to have a lot of work tomorrow.

You lie down against the smoothness of her back, feeling her warmth. You’re putting your weight on her. Your head is right beside her. Such a perfect view to watch Ryujin eating Chaeryeong’s cunt. The sight of her tongue splaying on her friend’s cunt is obscenely vulgar. Chaeryeong’s meaty thighs are shaking in pleasure.

Your hands roam over the front of Ryujin’s body, feeling her abs, her firm tits, and eventually, you grab onto the front of her neck. God, what a body. You pull Ryujin’s face out of Chaeryeong’s cunt, leaving a string of juice between them. Ryujin is so drunk in pleasure coursing through her—your cock inside her cunt, and Chaeryeong’s cunt on her pretty face. Her eyes are barely open. Her expression is so damn puzzled by the situation.

Suddenly, you pull Ryujin in for a sensual kiss. The remnant of the earlier Long Island iced tea lingers. Then, there’s the violent taste of Chaeryeong’s salty juice on her lips. It’s so good. You plunge your tongue into Ryujin’s mouth, making her moan as your cock keeps plowing her cunt with no abandon.

—

Chaeryeong is barely able to catch her breath as Ryujin’s tongue leaves her cunt. God, what a feeling she just had. It’s a bit of a whiplash, but her finger will do. She pushes her digits into her own cunt again as they kiss, watching the rough fucking in front of herself. She curls her finger where she needs it the most, prolonging the intense pleasure she felt from Ryujin’s tongue. She’s chasing her own orgasm, and she’s sure that she’s so fucking close.

“Oh god, oh god, oh goddd!”

Chaeryeong sprays her juice onto her friend’s face, making her the first victim of the night. She cums, hard. Her body shakes with intense pleasure as her fingers are knuckles deep into her cunt, curling up at the right fucking spot. Her body falls onto the soft bed, limping, shaking.

“Nghh~ Ch–Chae, you t–taste good,” Ryujin stammers, eyes barely open, body all limp under his dominance.

She can only catch her breath quietly, in front of the rough fucking Ryujin is taking.

—

The sensation is just too foreign for Ryujin to comprehend at this point. Chaeryeong just squirted on her face, and then she got knocked out from the sheer intensity of her own orgasm. Ryujin can’t move. She’s merely a spectator of this debauchery, and the best part is she’s more than willing to let him fuck her into oblivion.

“Nghmm, s–so g–good,” Ryujin mewls, so cock-drunk with the violent pounding from her back.

He gives her ass a loud spank, making her moan in the mix of shocking pain and surprising pleasure. His cock grazes against her wall so well—perfect curve, perfect length. He’s everything she could’ve asked for.

“More!” Ryujin says.

—

You give Ryujin’s reddened cheeks another harsh spank, making her yelp. Her ass is so fucking soft. You’re loving this. She’s loving this.

“More, p–please!” she mewls, she’s barely holding herself up from the pleasure coursing through her veins.

Your fucking cannot get rougher at this point—the ass slap–

“Ah!”

–the violent pounding. It’s making Ryujin dazed. It’s making Ryujin lost in the throes of pleasure. And the best part? It’s you doing all of this.

—

If he keeps up the pace, she’s going to cum in a minute.

Her pussy is getting stretched by his cock. He’s making her feel so full. It’s hitting all of her right spots. She keeps moaning and moaning in the wake of this divine delight. Her body feels limp, unable to move, but she loves this. She’s getting a cock inside her cunt, and she couldn’t have asked for more tonight.

The wave starts to form. It’s far, but it’s there. Her muscles tighten in this bliss. She’s going to cum!

“Oh god, I–I’m gonna–”

Her words are cut off with another slap on her ass, making her cry an unintelligible sound out. She finds the sound weird, but that’s the least of her concern right now.

“–cum, nghh.”

The wave hits. Ryujin’s orgasm crashes into her like a goddamn tsunami. Her body turns rigid in the wake of this divine delight under his. She lets out a loud wail. Her hands find purchase in the bedsheets, gripping onto them with her dear life. She savors it hungrily. She knows she’s going to fucking remember this, she’s going to.

After what felt like an eternity, she comes down from her peak. Ryujin slowly catches her breath with her still-fluttering eyes. She just had one of the best orgasms in her life. She’s going to cherish this moment, she’s going to.

—

That blowjob plays a part in delaying your orgasm. Thank god.

You drag your cock out of her spent pussy. It’s glistened in her filthy juice, shining against the nocturne. You watch her as she basks in the afterglow, trying to make sense of what just happened.

(Well, you’re also trying to make sense of what just happened.)

“Oh god,” you utter. Chaeryeong slowly sits up on the bed again, hair all messy after her mind-breaking orgasm.

“Should we–Should we take–a break?” you weakly ask, barely holding yourself together.

“Another round, p–please.”

“Fuck me, this time,” Chaeryeong blurts out, seeing the damage you’ve inflicted on Ryujin. “I want the same package as hers.”

Fucking hell.

—

You are sure that you aren’t going to forget this.

You’re fucking Lee Chaeryeong’s ass, as she eats Shin Ryujin’s pussy from above. Ryujin is looking up at you with her doe eyes, so dazed by the overwhelming pleasure she’s feeling. Chaeryeong’s ass feels so tight, so right. You can’t help but moan her name out in pure ecstasy. This is going to leave a mark on you forever.

Your balls ghost past Ryujin’s face. Sometimes, she’d stick out her tongue to make your body jolt when you thrust into Chaeryeong’s ass. Ryujin moans and writhes under her, so lost in the pleasure her friend is giving. This must feel so right for her.

“Fuck, y–you’re so tight, Chaeryeong,” you utter, eyes barely opening with the intense pleasure coursing through you.

“You–You better c–cum in my a–ass–ah!” she replies, shaken as your cock plow into her ass.

“M–More than happy too, M–Miss Lee.”

—

She now knows why Ryujin was so ecstatic when she’s fucked like this.

He feels so full in her ass, full in the way no one has ever made her feel before. He pounds her without any relent, making sure that she will never forget this. The sensation is just electric. The sensation is just overwhelming, and she’s loving every second.

Ryujin’s taste is also nothing short of insane. She’s perfectly salty. The texture is perfect. Her scent is driving her insane. Chaeryeong keeps lavishing her friend’s cunt tirelessly, so fucking determined to make her cum with her tongue.

“G–God, fuck. Y–You taste so fucking good, Ryu,” she mewls, voice shaken along with the movement of his cock in her ass.

She hears Ryujin giggle from below.

—

Two layers of drunkenness can be a little overwhelming for Ryujin—one with the alcohol, another one with the sex, but she’s fucking revelling in this.

His balls are swinging above her face, and she makes sure to stick out her tongue whenever she can, to make him cum in her friend’s ass. Ryujin grabs onto his thighs softly, leaving enough room of strength to make him move freely. Her nails dig lightly into his skin, leaving crescent marks on him.

Down below (or above, it doesn’t matter anymore), Chaeryeong sure knows how to eat pussy. She’s lapping Ryujin’s cunt masterfully, eliciting moans and moans out of her lungs. She’s so fucking drunk in the sex she just can’t think straight anymore.

The familiar sensation builds up in her loins—the same sensation for when his cock was in her cunt, the same sensation for when her fingers are knuckles deep into her wet, tight cavern. She’s going to cum.

“Oh god, oh god, gonna cum!” Ryujin mewls, so hazy from the relentless pleasure crashing onto her.

Instead of any reply, Chaeryeong only laps on her cunt faster and faster and faster. Ryujin’s head is feeling like it’s going to explode. She’s so dizzy. She brings her finger down to rub herself off, making her hips buck into Chaeryeong’s face with bliss.

Ryujin becomes the first to cum twice in this messy debauchery. Her cunt sprays gushes of juice onto Chaeryeong’s face. Her friend shows no sign of disgust, instead latching her lips on Ryujin’s clit, making her scream in pure delight. Her hands find purchase on the bed sheets tightly, as her scream pierces through the quiet nocturne.

—

Well, Yeji is definitely going to hear that.

Ryujin tastes great—perfectly salty. Chaeryeong feels torn. It feels so wrong to be her friend, but who can resist Ryujin’s charm?

Ryujin’s legs twitch in the corner of Chaeryeong’s eyes. She seems to be really lost in it. Chaeryeong keeps her mouth on Ryujin’s needy pussy, casting her in a state of bliss. She tugs it. She nibbles it. She’s making her friend scream with her filthy mouth, all the while taking his cock in her snug ass.

The sensation from behind her is going to put her in the same fate as Ryujin. Her muscles are blazing now. She’s going to cum with a cock in her ass!

“I–I think I’m gonna c–cum too, nghh~”

“At your service, Miss Lee,” he replies, pounding as fast as humanly possible into her. It’s coming. It’s coming.

Gushes of her own juice are discharged onto the damp sheet. Her body writhes with pure ecstasy. Her head falls onto the bed. The current just cuts through her so easily as she breaks the silence in the same way Ryujin did. This feels too fucking good.

—

It’s fucking unforgettable.

You keep fucking Chaeryeong through her unyielding orgasm. Her ass clenches around you as she cums violently. Ryujin is now panting below you, face full of bliss—eyes barely open, tongue hanging out from her slutty mouth. Chaeryeong’s arms are barely holding herself up. She almost collapses onto her friend’s body, writhing with pleasure. What a fucking sight.

You chase your orgasm relentlessly, not giving up even if Chaeryeong and Ryujin already did. Even thrust, every breath, everything in your life was leading to this moment, and you’re not going to waste it.

The familiar feeling builds up within your loins. You keep chasing it. You keep running for it. You’re going to cum inside of Lee Chaeryeong’s ass, and you’re not letting anyone stop it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fu–ah!”

To say that it’s one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had wouldn’t be a hyperbole (up there, rivalling the one that you just had by their mouths mere minutes ago). You can literally see stars within your eyes as you unload globs of cum into Lee Chaeryeong. Your body shakes with unyielding bliss. You grunt—loud, stark. Your nails dig into the waist of Lee Chaeryeong. To cum inside her ass is just utterly divine. Your breathing stops. Everything stops. At this moment, it’s just you, Ryujin, and Chaeryeong in this debauchery that no one is going to rob away. This is the fucking high of your life.

You slowly come down from the precipice. You feel so dizzy from the heavenly sensation you just felt. Your cock twitches its last portion of cum into Chaeryeong’s ass, before you drag yourself out of her tightness. Her asshole gapes, missing your cock. Your cum flows out of her gaped asshole. Fuck, it’s beautiful.

“Fuck,” you utter—lost, dazed. You just did something you can’t comprehend, and it’s going to forever stick with you as one of the best moments of your life.

“Yeah, fuck,” Chaeryeong pants, before collapsing on top of Ryujin.

—

City Of Stars

“I know it’s a bit weird to ask you this.” you pause, unsure of your next words. Are they the right people to ask?

Fuck it, you just had the most mind-blowing sex with them. A question wouldn’t hurt.

“But I have an assignment due–” you pause again, looking at your watch. It's a little after two “–today.”

Ryujin laughs quietly. “What? Are you going to have us help with your assignment?”

You can only smile shyly, looking left and right at their ethereal, after-sex faces. “Kinda, yeah.”

Both women let out a laugh. “Sure, go ahead,” Chaeryeong says.

“As I’ve told you, I’m a photography student–”

“Wanna work for JYP after you graduate?” Ryujin asks.

You chuckle. “If it means I’ll see you two again, definitely.”

“That’s our boy,” Ryujin says, nudging your shoulder playfully.

“Well, as I’ve said, I have an assignment due in like–seven hours,” you continue. “I need a photo to hand in this morning. It can be pretty much anything.”

“Anything?” Chaeryeong asks, her hand gently caressing your shoulder.

“Yeah, anything.”

The three of you say nothing for a heartbeat, letting the silence hang in the air. They’re probably trying to help you.

“That seems like a straightforward assignment for me,” Ryujin says. Her hand roams down your body once more, making you shiver.

“Yeah,” Chaeryeong adds, giggling at your response. “Couldn’t have been so hard.”

She gives your cock a slight touch with the back of her hand, and your breath hitches a little.

“My suggestion–” Ryujin leans in to pepper your neck with kisses, sending pleasure through your body “–just pick something that screams you.”

“Ryujin, ngh~”

“You know, I wanna be me, me, me,” she continues between her heavenly kisses.

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be somebody,” Chaeryeong adds, her hands starting to jerk you off now. “Choose something that’s only you could’ve done.”

“Hhngn~”

The muscles start to tense up again.

“Yeah, because nobody else can do that,” Ryujin adds, still planting small pecks over your now-willing body. Her hands are everywhere.

“Good night, baby,” Chaeryeong coos.

And your vision turns white.

—

#chaeryeong #ryujin #itzy #chaeryeong smut #ryujin smut #itzy smut #kpop fanfic #kpop smut

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galene-gothic · 6 months ago

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𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES

Today we'll take a look at:

- your surface level personality/image

- your inner world

- your soul energy

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱

You seem to be struggling a lot and even others can see it or at least that’s your image. People think that you have an unwelcome community or no community at all. Even if you have friends, they could leave you out or you feel that way, or others can witness it or this is something of the past. You may feel a strong need for a sense of belonging which could lead to you overextending and being very welcoming, and gullible. However, despite this, you seem to be a bit isolated and seem to need solitude. You seem to be pretty comfortable with being by yourself. You definitely have those who think you are ‘all talk, no action’. People think that you’re judgmental and also have a tendency to overthink, that you have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people. There are people who think that you have unrealistic ideas without much planning or preparation. All of this may have been discouraging to hear but one thing is that you’re not perceived the way you actually are and that is okay, you are currently waiting for some sort of change but you’ve learned how to be patient by now. It’s not like you’re ‘all talk, no action’, you’re just patient and taking things one step at a time. You have learned how to go with the flow and are doing so for now, it’s just that others aren’t being able to see how you’ve cleared obstacles one after another and have had major expansion in comparison to your past. Your hard work is paying off little by little but you’ve not received all the rewards yet. Continue celebrating how far you’ve come, others just don’t know anything about you and your life. They think that you’re not doing well mentally and emotionally, that you’re at a rock bottom. It’s funny how people have such different perspectives of you than who you truly are. You look at it as even if those endings, hurt and situations were hard, you transformed a lot from it and you’re still in a transition period. You’re still letting go and changing. You’ve not fully gotten used to the new beginnings but you’re having a lot of them. Despite the negative feelings that tend to come forth, the fear and sorrow, the cycles have finally ended.

꒰ Your inner world ꒱

YES!! I’m so happy, I was right! Those who think negatively of you based on your surface level personality believe the same about themselves. They think that you’re ‘all talk, no action’ because they know they themselves are ‘all talk, no action’. You have a really rich inner world. At this point, you value balance, i.e. giving and receiving equally. Two people can go through the same or at least similar situations and turn out to be completely different. I wonder if you come from fairly humble beginnings, your family or you had a bankruptcy, you didn’t have a parent so you took up a lot of responsibilities, you grew up with your guardians instead of parents, started earning young or weren’t given much money (it could be a situation similar to all these examples). Even if you did come from a well off family, there was some sort of instability. There was a point when you probably didn’t have anything or didn’t have much. Also, you seem to have lost a lot, many people, things or you may not have had much to lose to begin with. I’m definitely getting that you felt unsupported by others and alone. I’m getting this in every sense, i.e. financially, mentally, physically and emotionally. Your health was bad at that time too. You didn’t look good physically (because you weren’t) and neither did you feel good internally. The loss of connections at that time was the worst thing that they could have done to you because these people definitely weren’t doing things for the sake of their peace or anything of that sort, they wanted to create chaos and pain for you. This is your confirmation that they wanted to break you down, they wanted to knock you down to a peg. You are too kind and strong though, despite all the difficult times and changes, you went within yourself to find answers and move forward. Despite all the distress that you had to experience, the moment you gained just a little more stability, you started wanting to give to others and become more good charactered. You’re grateful for what you have and try to treat everyone equally, and with respect. You already share resources from the good of your heart but you’re focused on your investments, you’re focused on building your money. You’re trying to be responsible and are generous, kind and truly valuable because you value the right things, and you also try to grow and live by certain values, morals and virtues within yourself. However, your past still is affecting you mentally because you were thrown under a bus and you’ve gotten used to thinking about it 💀. The metaphor I’m getting is that you were strolling with your group of best friends or your lover (possibly both) you had their best interests at heart and thought they had the same for you too but suddenly, in the blink of an eye, you were thrown under a bus. It was really difficult to even comprehend, the wheels crushing your bones, the confusion, until you eventually passed sway and when you woke up, you didn’t have those loved ones around you, you found out that your feet aren’t working anymore, you didn’t even receive a call from them to ask about your whereabouts and needs but instead, they started making memes about how you’re unable to walk now. You were hurt, betrayed, lonely but little by little, you tried to walk and even though it took you some time, you started being able to stand by yourself, then you started walking until you were finally sprinting. That’s just a metaphor but it was not an exaggeration, whatever those people did to you was the same level of betrayal that I’ve written in the example above (regardless of whether you realise it or not). You have a scary deal of determination but you also have a lot of energy towards those situations (in the form of aggression and anger) even if you don’t realise it.

You’ve had many revelations and still continue having them. You’ve started seeing the truth about past people and situations. All of you here lead different lives but you’ve learned how to find abundance right where you are. Some of you have good connections, some of you are progressing in your careers, some of you don’t have either of those but what you do have is that inner abundance. You have a strong desire and even daydream (possibly even literally dream) about community, healthy love, a happy family, a happy relationship, good friendships, etc. You already feel as though you have a fairly supportive work and personal environment. You’ve learned how to be emotionally content without experiencing all the highs and lows just because they might be exciting. You value belonging and long term commitments. Despite this, there are times when you get excessively negative though. You have a tendency to hold onto trauma and haven’t fully escaped your past yet. You can definitely feel a bit bitter at times. You also have a tendency to at times, let your emotions overpower your logic and at other times, let your logic overpower your emotions. Emotionally, you love unconditionally but your definition of unconditional love isn’t unconditional as in “even if you disrespect me and don’t love, I’ll still love you” but instead it is “I care about your well-being even when I’m angry at you”, “I love and respect you even when we are fighting”, “I accept your shortcomings for you are also a human”, “no matter how much we change, I’ll always love and devote myself to you”. Your emotions are also something that helps you express yourself better. When you love someone, you wish to express it wholeheartedly. You love everyone like a mother would their child, you’re incredibly giving and have a universal love. I wouldn’t be surprised if recently you’ve developed a love for kids or at least, you always have had compassion for kids and felt strongly against beating kids to discipline them, etc. You’re divine, not only do you love like a mother would their child but you also love like a child would their mother. For a child, their parents are all they know and usually even though times are changing and women work too, fathers still aren’t that actively engaged with kids, so it’s the mother that the child is strongly attached to. When you love someone, you give all of yourself to them and expect the same from them. You also have a praise kink ahahaha. It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed, I’m openly claiming to be one of your kind 😔. You have an innocent way of loving and desire to have people praise you. You are fun loving when you love people, with both friends and lovers. You trust them and can be quite naive to be honest because a child does usually naively trust people and especially they trust their own mother blindly. You’re extremely affectionate and tender, also so sensitive to little things. You could have had a parent, guardian or teacher not prioritise your gift to them or brush your affection off at least once if not multiple times and you’ve unconsciously carried it with you. It was especially bad when you were younger, if someone didn’t react the way you wanted them to, you would feel hurt and it would just make you think. You also develop a psychic connection with those you love, trying to and almost always successfully understanding their wants and needs. You are the type to send soft messages, say kind and sweet words, play around, touch them innocently, etc. Gosh, we don’t deserve you. Just looking at your inner world makes me want to love you and desire your love.

꒰ Your soul energy ꒱

Your soul is going to have to deal with a lot of pessimistic moments. However, the best way that you’re going to learn how to deal with them is by being optimistic. You’re going to experience the most exciting situations going sour and turning out wrong. It’s all so that you learn a certain level of detachment and realise that it’s not that you can’t control anything, it’s that nothing can control you, it’s not that you can’t own anything, it’s that nothing can own you. Just the way the cloud covering the sun doesn’t mean the sun isn’t there, that the sun isn’t the sun, it’s just a cloud that will pass by in its own time. Anything that causes you to not be yourself, anything that causes you to not be seen as yourself by others, i.e. the brightest star in our universe, it’s going to pass by in its own time too. Your soul has signed up for trying multiple times. Which means that your soul has also signed up to experience failures before you finally succeed. You’ll notice that the way your life works is - first you go down, then you eventually rise up, then you go down again and while most people would stay down, you rise up even higher. You’re someone who doubts people’s loyalty and well, unfortunately your soul has signed up to deal with conflicts here and there in your partnerships so that you can work through the trust issues that you’ve carried throughout other lifetimes. You’re going to have to learn overtime that a lost love isn’t real love because real love wouldn’t give up on you just the way you wouldn’t give up on them. Your soul is here to grow and expand, past all these issues. You’re supposed to learn how to just be, to just live in the present moment without any reservations and fears. You’re supposed to put your past behind and move forward while applauding your baby steps and how far you’ve come instead of being all impatient. The cycles that you experience, especially in the earlier stages of your life will come to end with many delays. There are going to be days when you’re left empty handed, also days when you won’t see major wins as victories. Don’t blame yourself for having been emotionally attached to your past at some point, you are supposed to learn how to not waste your life away for moments that have fleeted away. You’re supposed to learn how to not seek closure, how to find closure within people’s character and actions. “Pay attention to people’s actions and you’ll never be fooled by words.” You’re going to suppress pain and anger at some point, eventually overcoming a lot of trauma and emotional pain. You’re going to learn how to free yourself from unnecessary emotional energy and are going to forgive yourself, others and situations for the sake of your own peace. There is definitely going to be a point when you refuse to move on though. Until you finally accept the truth of the situation and move forward with strength. If you’re single, it’s because your type is yourself 😔. You’re emotionally mature, compassionate, caring, empathetic, wise, tolerant, loyal, devoted and passionate, and these are the same qualities that you desire in a partner. You strongly desire the affection of someone who’s emotionally mature and intelligent, and makes a good counsellor. You want to have a partner that’s better than you in some way so that you can learn from them. You want to be able to act like a brat at times. You want them to be empathetic and kind, and understand the matters of the heart by themself. You want them to be open to supporting others and especially you. You want a kind and respectable partner because you are the same way and growing to take on more and more of that identity.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱

You seem to be exploring multiple possibilities and options, often finding it challenging to choose a single path. This can lead to confusion and a sense of being overwhelmed by the choices in front of you. However, this exploration is a crucial part of your decision-making process. People might perceive you as indecisive or lost in daydreams but in reality, you're weighing your options and considering all possible outcomes. You may find yourself feeling stuck or encountering delays. Your usual swift movement and energetic pace might seem hindered. This stagnation can be frustrating, leading others to think that you're not making progress. Despite this, you are learning to adapt and move forward at a different pace, which is necessary for your long-term growth. It’s essential to understand that this period of slower movement is temporary and will eventually lead to greater momentum. You still need more experience for spirituality, emotions and love. You might feel hesitant to express your emotions fully, leading to misunderstandings or perceived miscommunications. Others might see you as inexperienced or lacking in depth in these areas. However, this is a period of learning and growth for you. You're developing a deeper understanding of your emotional landscape and how to articulate your feelings better. This phase is crucial for your emotional and creative development. You have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people, reminds me a lot of the previous pile, you may have been drawn to it. You may be too busy on certain aspects of your life which leads you to not having time to focus on the other aspects. You seem to lack direction right now but I would say that as long as you have your priorities straight and make decisions from your heart, you’ll be fine. I think that you have a slow moving body, you seem to give slow reactions but there are other days when you give impulsive and hyperactive responses? It’s quite endearing honestly. Supposing a football was about to hit you but it hit the wall instead, on some days you’ll just stand there and not react much, not even say anything, just blink a few times and go on with your day while on other days, you’ll be like “if this ball had hit me, I swear whoever kicked it!” while waddling around the football field. I’m getting that while others may not fully understand your journey or the depth of your experiences, it is clear that you are on a path of significant personal growth. Keep celebrating your achievements and know that you are progressing, even if the rewards are not yet fully visible. Your hard work and patience will eventually pay off, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

꒰ Your inner world ꒱

This is crazy. Much like the previous pile who were perceived a certain way by other people but were strongly of substance. It’s the same for you. You’re incredibly humble naturally but you still make the conscious effort to maintain and create more humility within yourself? I’ve just started reading this part but I already respect and admire you so that speaks for itself. You could have a few conservative beliefs here and there or just views that are considered to be ‘conservative’ but are actually just basic human decency? It’s very natural for you, you have these qualities innately within yourself and you unconsciously, subconsciously and consciously look for these qualities as well. You really value loyalty ‘stereo heart’ by Gym Class Heroes is playing. You’re not exactly satisfied with your current state of wealth, status and success but you still continue to carry yourself with your head held high. You want something more but you’re not underestimating the journey to get there. You understand just how precious the present moment is and you try your best to appreciate it to the best of your abilities. You’re committed to your present duties and responsibilities while still reaching for more because you understand that doing the best with what you’ve got is the only way to live a life without many regrets. You’re very human and you accept that, that’s a great part of your charm. You know that regrets are inevitable but you still try to make the most out of life. You’re very reliable and loyal. You have dreams but know how to have realistic expectations or even if you have big dreams and unrealistic expectations, you internally have the awareness of that so you aren’t discouraged when reality isn’t living up to such dreams, hopes and expectations. Plus even if you have big dreams before starting to work on a certain goal, once you start the goal, you’re able to appreciate your little steps. You also become very duty focused and wanting to do the best so instead of focusing on what you don’t have, you end up feeling good about how much you do/did and what you did manage to have. “Mindset so good even my failures are a success.” You are strong willed and are currently more interested in financial stability than romance. I’m not getting it being anything superficial. You’re an incredibly well rounded person who would love a stable and loving connection, it’s just that you are a person who understands that you have this one life to live and you don’t want to have a futile life where you didn’t even make the most out of your own potential. Also, your goals seem to be more within your reach than romance. You want romance and relationships in general (platonic ones as well) to not be forced so you’re just patiently working on yourself. You have a grounded approach to success as well.

You aren’t the type to be like “once I become rich, I’ll hang out with successful and rich people, I’ll fly in the sky and forget everyone”, instead once you become successful, you’ll make sure to give credits to those who deserve it. “Thank you for instilling me with such values in the short time that we spent together, I promised to lead a virtuous life back then, maybe not out loud but within myself to honour you. You deserve a large chunk of credit for my success and once again, I promise to lead a virtuous life.” Once you’re rich and successful, you’ll be sure to bow down to those who serve you, to the community, to those who have raised you, to those who are younger, to those who are older, to those who are growing. ‘End of beginning’ by Djo is playing. I feel like there was a certain group of people that you really loved. The feeling that I’m getting is a childlike warmth and fun. It definitely seems to be a whole community with one person or a few people being the most memorable. You seem to have a lot of love for people in general and now that you’re growing, you are more appreciative of those who raised you and taught you certain things despite their own shortcomings but these people touched you on a different level in a very short time. It’s not like you don’t have appreciation for those you’ve grown up with and those who have always been around you or anything like that, it’s just that the tenderness, warmth yet firm boundaries and tough love you received from this community or maybe a certain person/group of people within this community has caused you to become more soft internally yet firm in your approach to the world yet kind, and very comfortable with your internal values of loyalty, living life to the fullest, stability, being virtuous as though it’s your duty, etc. I just heard that their humble and down to earth ways gave you a new life. They seem to be people who you are not around anymore but the warmth and love that they gave you and you have for them remains within you. This is so heartwarming. Some of you may think that you were at your worst when you received their affection, warmth, kindness and love, and it is true for many of you but just think about how loveable you must be to be loved so tenderly, warmly and deeply when you were at your worst. Due to your desire to be a certain kind of character, when you feel as though you didn’t live up to such ideals, you have a tendency to be a bit hard on yourself. You may have felt as though you had really strayed away from your morals at that time, that you had failed to maintain self respect, respect for others, your own morals and values which led you to being a disrespect-able person at that time but think about it, just how respectable of a person you must be to be respected and loved by such kind, courageous (because it takes courage to be kind and loving) and respectable people.

You deserve the world, you’re so precious. You have practical goals and planning, you’re also working hard and remaining patient right now. You’re a diligent person who is creating a stable and strong identity, and future for yourself. You try not to slack off your habits because you understand that your habits make up your identity. Think about it like this, if I smoke for a few days, that might be just for fun, due to peer pressure or something but soon that smoking will likely turn into something more, an addiction to say the least. Soon enough, my identity becomes that of a smoker. “Galene is a smoker.” Externally and action wise, you seem to be pretty well tempered. While, you may get angry here and there, when it comes to even big things, you just deal with them instead of complaining. You’re approaching life with optimism and passion. You also have your own personal philosophy through which you go through life. You’re pretty flexible right now and are just trying to be more harmonious, and cooperative. You are not aware of it but you have a lot of faith in the divine timing of things. You naturally believe and act as though things will turn out to be fine in the end, and are being pretty calm about whatever might be happening. You are just trying to remain grounded and in flow with life. You’re trying to stay true to your purpose and seem to be able to find contentment right where you are, even though you’re trying to reach for more. You have become pretty divine ahaha, you have a natural love for humanity or at least act with it. You’re looking at your life as your journey and just going through it, doing your best. This is very specific but I’m picking up on a man or a guy? I’m not sure who this is but at least one or two of you have learned from them to the point you have become them to a certain extent. Is this someone from that community setting from earlier? This person has affected you positively though. I’m getting something about your standards here. This person has raised your standards significantly. You look for stability, efficiency, mental strength, discipline and safety in your romantic connection and connections in general. This person was really wise and you’ve grown to be really wise. You have always been wise but just hadn’t been able to embrace that wisdom but you are doing so now. You also look for wisdom in your companions especially within your partner. This person looks incredibly sexy when angry. You are both very passionate individuals but your fuse used to lose when you were around them but regardless the connection between the both of you is beautiful. There was a telepathic bond. “Real recognises real”, they recognised your greatness at the worst time of your life. You have grown to become a lot like this person, likely because they actively tried to instil certain qualities, values and virtues within you. They did so because they had faith in you. Be grateful, you’re such a great person, you have great people see your brightness even when you are at your dullest.

꒰ Your soul energy ꒱

Your soul’s energy is one where your mind is often filled with hesitation and uncertainty. There are moments when you feel a lack of inspiration and motivation, which can make it difficult to start new projects or pursue your passions. This might lead to frustration and a sense of being stuck. However, this energy also leads to teaching your soul the importance of patience and the value of waiting for the right moment to act. It's a lesson in finding your inner spark even when the world feels dim. There’s a layer of complexity to your mental energy. It signifies that your mind is deeply influenced by your relationships and connections with others. You have a strong desire for harmony and unity, and your thoughts often revolve around how to maintain balance and peace in your relationships. This can sometimes lead to overthinking and indecisiveness as you weigh the pros and cons of every situation. However, it also highlights your ability to understand different perspectives and your commitment to nurturing meaningful connections. You are someone who was probably a victim of thinking about others before yourself due to how much you loved them (in the past). Your physical energy and actions are marked by a tendency to be cautious and sometimes overly defensive. You are meant to struggle with impulsiveness and a lack of direction in your actions. You will find yourself starting many things but not always following through. This is going to lead to frustration and a feeling of unfulfilled potential. However, this energy also brings a lesson in self-awareness and the importance of planning and thoughtful execution. You’re someone who is deeply involved in the present moment with those you love. Wanting to delve into that love, indulge it wholeheartedly. Due to this, you create really sentimental connections and memories. Even after you grow, you will find yourself functioning from a very childlike form of love and connection, not just that, your actions will be very childlike too. This is going to manifest in all ways, you’re going to be loving and affectionate like a child, sensitive like one too (to the actions and words of those you love) and also having fun, playing, and finding joy in simple things like a child.

Which is why, at some point, you’ll find yourself being deeply connected to your past. You will often find yourself reminiscing about earlier times and drawing comfort from familiar activities and routines. This nostalgia will hold you back from fully engaging with the present at some point, but when you learn how to deal with it and be present, it will provide a rich source of joy and grounding. Embracing the lessons from your past will help you build a more secure and fulfilling present. Emotionally, you tend to hold on tightly to what you have, whether it’s material possessions, relationships or beliefs. You might struggle with letting go and trusting the flow of life. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a fear of change. However, this energy also teaches you the value of stability and the importance of setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being as you grow. You’re going to have nurturing and sentimental connections that might be short term, likely in community settings, most likely not romantic because you’ll love everyone from that community due to how warmly you feel towards them but leave you touched forever, you’ll learn really valuable lessons from them. You’re have probably already experience deep emotional wounds and heartbreaks in this lifetime. These painful experiences shaped your emotional landscape, leading to moments of sorrow and grief. However, this energy also signifies great healing and growth which leads to lesson being learnt. Through these challenges, you are going to develop resilience and a deeper understanding of your emotional needs. This reading is a reminder that while pain is inevitable, it also paves the way for greater compassion and empathy. Your soul is on a journey of profound transformation. The challenges you face are opportunities for growth, teaching you patience, self-awareness and the importance of emotional resilience. Embrace both the light and dark aspects of your soul’s energy, as they both contribute to your unique and powerful journey.

︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱

You are often perceived as hopeful and idealistic. You possess a sense of optimism and vision for the future that others find inspiring. People see you as someone who looks beyond the present difficulties and focuses on what could be. This perception can lead to others viewing you as a dreamer, someone who is always seeking out new possibilities and ways to make the world a better place. Your ideas are often seen as refreshing and uplifting, even if they seem a bit out of reach at times. People may feel that you have a unique way of thinking and that you bring a sense of calm and guidance, much like a beacon of light in the dark. However, this idealistic nature can sometimes be misinterpreted. Some might think you are unrealistic or too detached from practical concerns. They might see you as someone who spends too much time dreaming and not enough time acting on those dreams. This can lead to misunderstandings about your true intentions and capabilities. Despite this, your hopeful outlook and ability to envision a brighter future are strengths that set you apart and make you a source of inspiration for those who truly understand you. You are perceived as someone who has faced hardships but is in the process of recovery. They think that you’ve been through periods of struggle, possibly related to health, financial stability or general well-being. Others see you as someone who is working hard to overcome these challenges and improve your situation. This perception can evoke sympathy and admiration, as it shows your resilience and determination to rise above difficult circumstances. On the surface, people think that you have experienced exclusion or abandonment in some form, yet you are gradually finding your way back to stability. They notice your efforts to rebuild. This can sometimes be seen as a sign of vulnerability but it also highlights your strength in acknowledging and addressing your difficulties. People admire your tenacity and the steps you are taking to regain control of your life, even if they don’t fully understand the extent of your journey. Emotionally and spiritually, you are seen as someone who values deep connections and harmony in relationships. You have a strong desire for unity and mutual understanding. People perceive you as someone who is compassionate, loving and capable of forming meaningful bonds with others. Your emotional energy is often focused on creating balance and fostering positive interactions, which can make you seem very approachable and caring. You are seen as someone who thrives in partnerships and collaborations. You might have a partner right now? If not, when you do have love interests or even just talk about love, you talk about it in a very pure manner. Whether in friendships, family relationships or romantic connections, you are viewed as a person who brings people together and seeks to maintain harmony. They see you as someone who sometimes prioritises others’ needs over your own, sometimes to your detriment. While your surface-level personality and image may be misunderstood by some, it is clear that you are a person of depth, resilience and compassion. Your mind is a source of hope and inspiration, your actions reflect a journey of recovery and determination, and your emotional world is centered around creating loving and balanced connections. These qualities make you a unique and valuable presence in the lives of those who truly see you for who you are.

꒰ Your inner world ꒱

You’re healing and you’re aware of that. You’ve made some transition and you can feel the shift but what I need to tell you is that you don’t realise that you’re over it all. You are over it but it does not feel like so because not everyday is a fun, roller coaster ride. You’ve undergone empowering emotional changes. You have learned from your mistakes and have found the strength to move forward. You might be realising or may have realised that a lot of the love you received in the past was false. You may be realising that the love you felt then was the love that you were back then? I’m getting an acceptance of the fact that you almost always (if not always) got the shorter end of the stick. You’re interested in living originally, being true to yourself, instead of worrying about what people will say or what’s considered to be orthodox, or the right way of doing things. You have a strong sense of blind faith, as in you know that you’ll be fine? This blind faith doesn’t even seem religious, it’s just innate, it’s because you have great faith in yourself and the flow of life. You’re still changing your views as you’re still learning. “Maybe the happy ending was developing humility while still being proud of myself.” You have developed great humility in the past few years. You are going your own way. You don’t really have mentors or teachers, you’re just doing what you need to do, with whatever resources and knowledge you save or can find. While, you are humble and changing your beliefs, you’re not bending to other people’s beliefs because you have a knowledge of the kind of belief system you possess and wish to move forward with. Many of you contemplate religions a lot. You seem to know that there’s a higher power but for you, religion is trying your best to lead a righteous path. You’re also someone who is working really hard. You tend to get consumed by your work. Also, you prefer it being this way, you like to work in a space where you can be completely devoted, in a way you can be completely devoted, in a field that allows you to do so. Currently, you may not realise how much you’re doing because you’re doing multiple things. You should be more graceful with yourself. You lack elegance in the way you speak to and about yourself. You are critical of yourself and feel as though you fail to present yourself the way you wish to. You wish to be more refined in the way you present yourself. You should be a bit careful, you may be building great success little by little, you may end up with a lifestyle that is really hard to maintain. You’re putting a lot of emphasis on prioritisation and time management because you’re balancing multiple projects plus life outside these endeavours. When you work, you don’t just do things, you devote yourself to it, you pour your all into it. So when you work, you naturally end up putting a cherry on top of all that you were asked to do. You seem to be quite busy. I need to remind you that you don’t have time to waste but please take time to yourself.

I’m not sure who needs to hear this but please don’t start your day with TikTok or Instagram reels, there’s a lot of negative content on those platforms, it’s going to drag your vibe down. Your decisions require adjustments, even in your daily life because you have a lot to do. Everyday, you assess security, risks, calculating and speculating everything. You may be struggling with laze right now but despite this, you’re persistent on your path and growth. You have an inner satisfaction and contentment despite not necessarily being happy. You’ve learned how to think about yourself and put yourself first. You’re very reliable still and are willing to work for connections but now, you’re learning how to be more patient and less controlling with how things flow. You’ve also reached a point where if something is interrupting your peace, you just block it and try to shift your mindset to something better. You’re naturally very patient with people so you are keen on not letting those who are takers and talkers, and not givers and doers enter your life anymore. You’re practical and responsible so due to this, you consider the emotions of those around you. However, now you’re at a point where you don’t try to look at things from other people’s perspective anymore, you just remain practical and try to remain grounded within yourself. When you start focusing on the negative, it becomes really difficult for you to get out because it just pulls you in. You’ve learned a lot about life, you’ve learned how to live, you’ve learned how to be in the world and of the world. You still have slips here and there but I would say that you’re doing pretty well. You’re working for what you want. However, no matter how much you achieve, you feel like there’s always more to reach for, please take the time to assess and make sure that your desires come from the right place and mindset. You seem to be greatly committed to your career, goals, study and growth more than anything. As much as you would love a stable and healthy connection that you can just delve into, if you can’t find something, a connection worth investing in, you’re not interested in putting yourself in compromising situations. You’re emotionally attached to growing. You also tend to feel guilty when you don’t work or miss out on work for a few days due to your desire and almost a need to be, and feel as though you’re remaining consistent. You’ve value a bit more of a conservative approach to connections. You value fidelity, loyalty and strong yet humble, and grounded character in both you and the other person. You wish to have connections that are real, that are grounded, where you’re not looking at your phone when with each other, where you write and receive letters, give and receive flowers, and share and buy each other books. The conclusion is that, you’re very committed to and focused on your own growth and career, and when it comes to connections, you only want those that are long term and stable with trustworthy and reliable people. You’re doing well, all the best going forward!

꒰ Your soul energy ꒱

Right away, you’re bound for success and recognition. Your soul is on a journey of mastering inner peace and clarity. You'll face moments of conflict and competition in this lifetime, you likely already have but instead of being drawn into battles, you'll learn to seek harmony and understanding. You’ll experience many conflicts regarding competition besides the usual ego clashes. However, the thing is, as ambitious and growth focused you may be. I forgot to mention in the ‘inner world’ part of the reading but you value recognition and status. So, as much as you may care about these, you have a very grounded approach to these. You aren’t necessarily competing with people, you’re simply just trying to achieve what you want while you are going to have people in this lifetime who will compete with you over anything and everything. In fact, in the past, you may have been accused of being the competitive and inconsiderate one when in reality even your friends have been really competitive with you at some point. These experiences are here to teach you that true strength that comes from inner calm and being cooperative on the surface. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still very competitive, it’s just that your approach to competition is different. Due to how much others have competed with you, you may have felt the need to be competitive in the same or similar way that they were but you realised that you have an inner abundance that you used to function with but have gotten out of touch with. You’ll get back to your original approach to life and achievements, realising that it’s not about winning every argument or competition but finding peace within yourself and fostering it in your surroundings, regardless of whether or not you get what you worked for. Just as the clouds pass and reveal the sun, your challenges will pass and you'll shine even brighter. You’ll stop associating your self worth with how much you achieve. In your physical pursuits, recognition and success are just destined. Your hard work and persistence are bound to pay off and you’re going to have to celebrate many of your victories. Right now, you’re learning to accept compliments, praise and appreciate yourself and your achievements without doubting your worth. This phase of triumph is here to teach you the value of perseverance and self-belief.

Remember, it's not just about the accolades; it's about the journey and the resilience you've shown. Your soul has signed up for these moments to empower you to take bold steps forward. Emotionally and spiritually, your journey is deeply connected to love and meaningful relationships. You are here to experience profound connections that go beyond the superficial. Your soul seeks unity and balance, integrating different aspects of yourself to create a harmonious inner world. The lessons of love will teach you to make choices that align with your higher self and to embrace the healing power of love. Your soul's growth involves understanding that real connections are worth every trial and triumph, and that true love never gives up. You wish to merge with your loved ones especially romantically. You have a loving and considerate spirit that’s very genuine in nature, and you want to love people as if they were you, as if you are one. You wish to work with their best interests at heart so naturally, you wish to be loved in such a way too. You want to love people who see and treat you, and your connection like team and teamwork instead of working with self serving motivations. Your loving spirit is something that you’ll notice, never dies. You continue loving deeply despite how many times you may hurt because that’s just who you are. Gosh, you’re precious, never change yourself. Overall, your soul is on a transformative path, learning to find peace within, celebrate your successes and embrace the power of love. Each challenge you face is designed to help you grow and evolve. As you navigate through conflicts, rise in your achievements, and deepen your emotional connections, you'll discover your true strength in harmonizing your mind, body, and spirit. Trust that every step you take is leading you toward a higher purpose, and embrace the cycles of ups and downs, knowing each phase is a crucial part of your soul's growth and expansion.

#intuitive readings #pick a card #pac #tarot pac #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a photo

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just-a-ghost00 · 3 months ago

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Love ladder spread - Your path to union

In this reading, we will look at your connection with the person on your mind and try to identify the energies you are in as well as the steps that could help you in manifesting union with this person. Keep in mind that, as this is a collective reading, not all messages may resonate with you. The theme for this reading is Disney's Sleeping Beauty characters.

Group 1 - Princess Aurora

Overall energy is the Tower. There may have been a major shift in the dynamic of this connection. Either you and this person suddenly stopped communicating because of a fall out or for some of you, you just recently met this person and this completely came out of the blue. Either way, both of you were deeply impacted by this event. A lot of things may also be happening around you at the same time in each of your respective lives. Sudden changes in all areas of your life may be happening. You both may be feeling a bit overwhelmed, like things are coming at you from all sides and you don't know which way to go first, what to deal with or how to deal with it. There may be a lot of confusion surrounding you because of those chaotic, all over the place energies. You don't really have the time to sit down and fully grasp what the heck is going on. You're caught up in the storm and it feels like there's nothing much you can do about it.

Your energy | White Numen

Despite the overall energy of your connection, you come off as quite confident and grounded. This may be because of your experience as a person and your maturity. It could be that this isn't the first time such a hectic phase is happening in your life. As you've gathered knowledge and tools, you are fully equiped to face the storm and survive it. Your energy towards this connection and this person feels pretty optimistic and proactive. You seem determined to make it work, no matter the obstacles set on your way. You have a lot of faith in yourself, in the Universe and in this person. You are looking at the future with hope and trust, choosing to keep moving on and go with the creative flow surrounding you. You understand that rather than fighting the storm, you should move along with it and see where it leads you. You may also be redirecting your energy towards previous goals you had left on pause, catching up with work and family. You don't seem as affected by the energies of the Tower as you could have been, or at least you do your best not to let that set you off.

Their energy | Ace of wands clarified by the 7 of cups

When it comes to your person, this Tower energy seems to have a rather positive effect on them. They feel quite agitated and impatient, not because they are frustrated or scared, but rather because their curiosity and new found knowledge is opening doors for them. It feels like what the Tower has brought in your person's life is a new perspective and a surge of creative energy. They feel inspired and new projects, new goals are emerging to the surface. When it comes to you and the connection, this person seems to be going through an awakening. They have a new found sense of interest for you. If they may have been resistant and hesitant in the past, their desire for you is being reinforced and their attraction is leading them to gain clarity on what they envision for the future. I get the feeling of someone starting to grasp the extent of their feelings and understanding the opportunities that could arise because of those. The possibility of it being reciprocated gives this person courage, determination and hope. This person is slowly but surely coming to terms with the fact that the possibilities when it comes to the both of you are endless and rather than being scared about it, this person is starting to understand that this is actually working in their favor. They have chosen to rejoice because their horizons are broadening. They are filled with ideas of what they want to do with you, what the future holds for you and they can't wait to find out.

The connecting energy of your union | The Star

This is a very beautiful energy as it shows that both your spirits are turned toward the other. You are intuitively very connected and both of you have this deeper inner knowing that this just doesn't stop here. That there is more in store for this connection. The Star being associated with Aquarius, I wouldn't be surprised if both of you were connected through dreams as well as the internet. Even though you are apart and not in direct contact, you are still being updated about this person's whereabouts and vice versa. You are united in the sense that you both dream of being reunited and wish for the connection to succeed. You are hoping for a better future and your thoughts are filled with love and acceptance for one another. I get an energy of unconditional love and support, which I think is absolutely amazing. Both of you are getting signs about the other. I'm specifically picking up on stargazing, seeing shapes in clouds or receiving messages through nature. Both of you could be fondly stalking each other a little. Though you deeply wish to be in contact with the other, I pick up on a mutual understanding that both should respect each other's private space and need for a break. It's like you have silently agreed on keeping your distances to focus on your own selves so that you could deal with whatever other priorities you had before coming back to where you left at. You and this person could get into contact again during Aquarius season (mid January to mid February). You could exchange through social media before being united in the 3D.

The steps you should take | Hermit

You are advised to keep your distances with this person for a period of time so that you can focus on your own self and reevaluate your life. Introspection is encouraged as this will help you figure out where you're at on your journey, what you hope for and want from this connection as well as what you are willing to do in order to manifest it, nurture it. If you still have some healing to do, this will be the perfect occasion to do so. But I feel like you already knew that and had already started to do such work. If that is your case, know that you are on the right track. Keep up with the good work.

The steps they should take | King of cups

Similarily to you, this person has to nurture themselves and focus their energy back on them. A lot of emotional healing needs to be dealt with. They have to find back a form of balance and security in their emotional sphere before they can let you in and share that love with you. This person could have neglected themselves over the years or their vision of love is outdated and in order to reach union with you, they have to go through a reset. To charge their batteries and be reminded of the fact that they matter too, that they deserve love and should be their first supporter. Once this person has found themselves again, they can be emotionally available for this connection to progress further.

Group 2 - Prince Philip

Overall energy is 7 of cups. It seems that both parties are busy with a lot of different projects and people. An energy of confusion may be surrounding the connection as you may not be sure of where you want things to go and what you want to do of this connection. The affection between the two cannot be denied. "But is that affection enough?" may be a question that goes through your mind a lot lately. You may feel overwhelmed by the countless possibilities and outcomes that this connection could have. Being confronted with so many choices may intimidate both of you. It feels like you are at a status quo. You may be in contact with them but the conversation isn't going anywhere is what I feel.

Your energy | Page of cups rx

You definitely feel attracted to this person emotionally and wish for progress but you may be wary around them. Your fears and doubts concerning this person put you in a guarded state. Your heart isn't completely open to the idea of being united with this person. You may have lost hope overtime, seeing that your attempts of getting closer to this person were unsuccessful. The affection is still there, the desire to care for this person is still there but you are feeling stuck and like there's nothing you can do to make a change. You may be feeling discouraged and considering moving on from the connection alltogether.

Their energy | Magician clarified by the Chariot

You may not be aware of this, but your person's position regarding this connection is completely open. Your person is gathering strength and tools to be able to manifest this connection. This is something that is going on behind the scenes. They wish to be in contact with you and are determined to catch up with you. Your person only has one wish, one goal in mind : to come back to you. They are getting impatient and will do anything in there power to come closer. For some of you, I get the message that you may be in a long distance relationship. If your person is overseas, they are planning to travel at some point in time to see you. As Magician is associated with Gemini and Chariot with Cancer, this could represent a time frame from mid may to mid August. Your person wishes to convey to you their desire to make the connection progress and find a common ground with you.

The connecting energy of your union | King of wands

The energy surrounding your connection and your union is one of passion and determination. No matter the obstacles and issues you may be facing, you are both adamant on making it work one way or another. You may not be aware of each other's intentions and actions to reach such goal, as there may be communication issues, but both of you are really in a similar dynamic of trying to meet the other in the middle. Both of you are aware of the attraction going on. Both of you are fantasizing about one another and imagining a future together. Both of you wish to conquer the other and come out of this situation victorious. You may be united with this person through a common passion or project. Again, Summer seems to be significant here. You could be travelling when you meet each other again.

The steps you should take | King of pentacles

To increase your chances of manifesting union, you are advised to work on your stability and grounding. Focus on your career, your home, your personal goals. Become a version of yourself that you can be proud of. Increase your level of independance and work on your foundations so that this person's absence does not set you off balance. Cultivate your sense of self, your self confidence, your self love. If you were dealing with health issues, work on those as well. It is important that your energy is as stable as possible for you to lead a fruitful and abundant life in general, and for you to create a healthy dynamic with this person within the connection you share.

The steps they should take | High Priestess

This person has to work in the shadows and on their shadows. They are not meant to be in contact with you as they do so. They are pushed to meet the unknown, the parts of them that may scare them. They are encouraged by spirit to hone their intuition and actually listen to it instead of running away from it. Out of sight but never out of mind, for both of your highest good, this person is forced by spirit to remain undercover and in silence. Within the silence, great knowledge will come to them. This person needs to gain clarity on their own limits and desires to be able to come back to this connection as a more mature and enlightened being. They have to defeat the inner saboteur, the little voice that urges them to push people away or to control everything. Once they overcome their fears and become a better version of themselves, they can come back to where you left off as a renewed person and contribute to a healthier dynamic as well.

Group 3 - Maleficient

Overall energy is the High Priestess. Before I dive into the meaning of this card, I want to mention that I barely had to shuffle your cards in order to get the answers to your reading. Which means that the energy is very swift, potent between you and this person. That could also tell us that the manifestation of a union with them may be closer than you think. Now I also had to say that I ended up doing your reading first because of this swift energy going on. So that may be further confirmation that this is happening soon. The High Priestess is an energy of secrecy and introspection. This tells us that you may not be in contact with this person as of now, at least in the 3D. But on a spiritual level, in the 5D, you may be picking up on this person's energy and receiving a lot of signs from them. This may also be a sign that you and your person are very spiritual and connected. Both of you could have psychic abilities and use forms of divination as a mean to understand the dynamic of your connection. This could also be a sign that your connection with this person is something that both of you keep hidden. You and/or this person may have significant Scorpio placements in your chart as well as Taurus placements.

Your energy | 9 of cups

When it comes to this person and your connection with them, you are very dreamy and optimistic. You spend a lot of time daydreaming, wishfully thinking about this connection and doing your best to manifest it into your reality. You may be praying for this person to contact you again and be close to you. You may be practicing meditation, listening to subliminals, trying to contact them through their dreams. For some of you, maybe you subconsciously tug on this person's energy and vice versa. You could be lucid dreaming about this person. You are deeply emotionally invested and a lot of your energy is spent on nurturing this connection, thinking about this person and wishing for them. Your energy is rather passive and feminine. Though you long for this person, you may not be actively/directly trying to contact them as you may be afraid of rejection.

Their energy | 3 of cups

This person seems to be in some kind of an avoidant energy. Now, it is important to point out that they do not feel disinterested when it comes to you. They feel a certain amount of tenderness and affection for you, friendliness and joy. They could be feeling giddy and excited whenever your name is mentioned and thoughts of you ellicit a sense of peace and exhilaration, especially if you used to share a lot of time with them. They may be reminiscing on the times they spent with you and the memories you shared. If this person is interested, they approach this connection from a rather laid back angle. In other terms, they may be more casual and less emotionally invested as you are. They may not be expecting the same things as you when it comes to this connection, or at least not now. They may be partying a lot and interacting with many other people, whether platonically or romantically, in an attempt to distract themselves from the connection. This could be a person that was already involved in another connection prior to your meeting.

The connecting energy | 3 of wands clarified by the Star

If both of you have a very different approach in this situation and maybe hope for different outcomes, both of you unite in the feeling of being excited about one another and very attracted to each other. Both of you look at this connection with a positive mindset, one of wanting to explore the connection further and anticipate the future when it comes to it. Both of you could be wanting to reconnect and close the distance, maybe to travel together as a way of deepening your bond and getting to know each other. The connecting energy is one of pleasure, playfulness, chemistry, optimism, curiosity and expectancy. This energy of union could start online before it is taken on a physical level. You could thus be flirting with this person through social media for a while. You will know union is happening when you or this person decides to come towards you in the 3D. So after a period of exchange online, which may last for a short period of time, they could ask you out on a physical date. If we look for time frames, wands can symbolize weeks. So a time frame of 3 weeks could be significant. With the Star card, Aquarius season may also be relevant (mid December to mid January).

Steps you should take | knight of wands

To enhance your chances of manifesting union, you are encouraged to cultivate a light hearted atmosphere within the connection. Being optimistic is more than welcome but you are advised to keep some distance as to not become too dependant on the outcome. Spirit encourages you to be playful, sensual, communicative. Don't take this too seriously and let yourself be surprised. Approach this connection with spontaneity, curiosity, fun. Play with the dynamic, engage in banter, tease them, make fun of them. Use humor as a way to deepen the intimacy. Share with them things that you are passionate about. Bond over similar passions. Use games as a way to losen up tensions. You can offer to meet them in a familiar, playful, friendly environment. Show your sociability. Enhance your attraction by emphasizing your appearance or skills that you are confident about. You get it, your seduction tactics must be on point. They gotta see you shining and feeling yourself.

Steps they should take | Ace of swords clarified by the 9 of pentacles

This person has to be more direct and communicative. They have to make a clear statement about how they feel towards you, where they're at in their life and what they expect of this connection. Their intentions have to be clear. So they need to do introspective work and improve their communication skills. They should clearly tell you that they are single and available if and when that is their case. They should gather information about you and get to know you on a personal level in order to evaluate what you mean to them and where they want to take this connection. This person needs to be more proactive and also show their trustworthiness. They have to step up to the plate and also put forward their best qualities. Namely the fact that they are mature enough to invest in this connection and support it, that they are well off financially and independant, that they are very generous and caring, as well as their hardworking personality. Among other things. This person needs to be clear on what they are willing to bring to the table and provide in order for this connection to work out.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #tarot reading #love pac #spiritual pac

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 3 months ago

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Chapter 1: I Need You Now But I Don't Know You Yet

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!Reader, Reader POV

Summary: With a birthday printed on your wrist that happened over a hundred years ago, you always thought that you were cursed to never meet your soulmate. But when you finally meet the man that's supposed to be the other half of your soul, you wonder if the stars were wrong, and wonder how this man was meant for you. Reader is Hughie's sister, is not a supe, and is a Literature Professor that gets dragged into the middle of things. This fic takes place in an AU set loosely after Season 3 and does deviate from the plot of The Boys

Tropes: Soulmate AU, Little bit of Grumpy and Sunshine, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Jealous Ben/Soldier Boy

Warnings: Self deprecating thoughts, Little bit sad, Cursing, Mentions of drinking, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Death, Loneliness, Longing, Basically the reader just wants to be loved, Reader wears glasses?, Soldier Boy might be a little OOC.

Word Count: 6.3K

Song Inspiration For Chapter: IDK You Yet (Title of chapter based on song) Y'all should listen to this song because it fits so well!

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue Is in First Person And Is In Italics

A/N: Guys you have no idea how excited I am about this story! It's already shaking up to have a TON of my usual angst, but I'm not surprised.😅 I'm also a little disappointed. I read a soulmate AU fic forever ago for Joel Miller where the birthday was printed on the reader's arm and I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called or find it. If y'all know what it is, please let me know. I'd love to read it again and give the writer a little bit of credit for inspiration. ❤️

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

January 24, 1919

The date on your right wrist haunted you, the bold black numbers mocking from the moment you learned what they meant. It had to be a celestial mistake, a misprint, something wrong in the stars that shone so brightly over others, but dulled above your head.

Sometimes you thought you were cursed, that some mystical being before your birth marked you, scarred you, and made you carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders.

That whoever it was made you different on purpose and you hoped one day you understood what that purpose was.

You'd never met someone born with the same dilemma, to be saddled with a soulmate that was born over 100 years ago, and yet here you were.

You'd heard it all growing up, the hushed whispered "freak" from your schoolmates, the odd looks from your neighbors, the pitying frowns of your parents who had known each other since pre-k, and the hug from your older brother as he whispered the familiar phrase “it‘ll be okay" to soothe you.

But you always wondered…

When would it be okay?

You watched all your friends find their happy endings with their soulmates, the birth years printed on their wrists at least within the same few decades, but not you.

You were alone, different, cursed.

The date printed on your wrist made you different, because no one else had a soulmate that was born so far in the past.

Your soulmate's birthday brushed on your skin only brought a wave of disappointment every time you saw it, because what the hell did it mean? 1919? That meant that your soulmate would be over 100 years old when you met him, whoever it was.

If you even met him.

No one lives that long. My soulmate should be long dead. He can't still be alive. Can he?

Each year that passed was like another nail in the coffin, but you celebrated the birthday of your supposed soulmate with a cupcake and a beer, locked away in your apartment to shut out the jeers of those who knew your particular dilemma. And each year when you blew out the candle you wished that it would be the year you met him, but now you weren't sure it would ever happen.

Because it was impossible.

You didn't understand why you were different, why you were chosen to have a soulmate that was long dead. Maybe it was true, maybe you were born late, born under the wrong sign, or maybe you really were cursed.

You'd heard the stories of people who never found their soulmates, urban legends really, but it didn't make you feel any better. The stories of people who wasted away to nothing, driven to the point of insanity because they never found the other half of their soul, alone for as long as they could stand it before they finally crumbled to dust.

You refused to be like them, turning to books for solace and hoping to escape. Slipping into the pages and into other worlds where people found their other half to leave the loneliness that haunted you behind.

And in that solace your found your true love, literature. It wove around you and brought you peace in a world where you felt lost and different.

When you moved away from the small town you grew up in, you got a job as a Literature professor, reading the great works of others, while trying to forget about the date on your wrist and the soulmate you longed for each day.

It was incredibly lonely to think that you'd live your whole life with only one half of your soul.

Every time you opened a book from the era your soulmate was supposed to be born in you wondered if he had read it, wondered what it was like to live in that time, and imagined what it would have been like to be there with him.

Each day you covered up the date on your wrist with a splash of foundation and playfully laughed it off whenever someone asked you if you'd found your soulmate yet. All the while spending year after year fading just a little bit more as you lost the last pieces of hope that you'd ever meet him.

One Year Ago

You were running late. Frankly you were always running late, but in the city that never sleeps it was to be expected.

It was supposed to be a big day. You had about a hundred papers to grade, a test to proctor, and three lectures to give, but you couldn't complain about your job, you loved it. Loved the groans of your students whenever you announced a test or an essay, loved the soft evenings where you read papers with a cup of tea and learned what in the assigned text was special to your students, and loved to teach from the books that had become home to you, the books that tried to heal your wounded heart.

But today something was different.

Something nagged at the back of your mind, as if you had forgotten that something else was supposed to happen today.

Haircut? No that's not it.

You think as you walk to the large wooden desk in your living room/bedroom. It was technically a dining room table, breakfast table, and your desk, but you'd loved it since the moment you found it tucked into a corner of an antique store in Brooklyn.

Your small studio apartment was quaint, the bedroom and living room divided by a large mid-century wooden screen that you had bought for twenty bucks at a thrift store the weekend you moved into your apartment five years ago. The living room only housed a plump cream colored couch that faced out the window towards the living room window that gave you a spectacular view of the alley between your apartment building and the next. Sometimes you got to watch the couple in the apartment across from you having a terrific fight and then got a front row seat to the loud make-up sex they had almost immediately after.

Large stacks of books dominated every wall stretching up as high up to the ceiling as they could reach, some were pressed against the exposed brick walls, others serving as the base for the coffee table you’d made with a vintage window, and of course there was one stack that towered high above your bed on top of your bedside table. You didn't own a tv, not when you spent most of your time reading.

Being a English professor meant that you could never have too many books not when they were like old friends that pulled you in whenever you opened their yellowing pages.

Meeting with the head of the English department? You bite the inside of your cheek as you shove your notebook, planner, pencil case, and laptop into your leather messenger bag. No, that's on Thursday.

You'd been working on a research paper that you hoped to publish about the Modern Period of Literature in America, but the head of the English Department wanted to see how much you'd done. In all honesty the only reason why you'd started studying the Modern Period of literature was because it was supposedly the time period in which your soulmate grew up and you thought that it would give you some insight into what his life was like.

And despite your being an expert on that time period, the head of the English Department did not share your enthusiasm for it. The only thing the head of the English Department had any enthusiasm for was his self-published book of erotic poetry and staring at your legs for too long while making subtle attempts for you to sleep with him even though he was married.

You fight the wave of revulsion with the memory of the last time you had a meeting with him and give yourself a once over in the mirror hanging on the bathroom door that faces in to your living room. You looked the way that you always did, maybe a little more frantic than usual, but that was expected given the fact that you were running late.

Today you had decided to wear your favorite dark green chunky sweater that you'd knitted yourself, a dark gray argyle midi-skirt, chestnut brown ankle high-heeled leather boots, and your traditional pair of circular black-rimmed glasses.

It's going to be a good day. You smile at your reflection. Yeah, if I could remember whatever the hell it is I've forgotten.

You roll your eyes and grab a bagel from the bag on the counter.

No time to toast it.

You think mournfully before shoving it between your teeth as you run out the door, slamming it behind you so hard that it rattles the watercolor botanical framed prints on the inside wall of the apartment.

"Late again?" Your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson, asks opening the cheerful yellow door of her apartment.

She was wearing her traditional pink cat eye glasses and had her wavy gray hair pushed back by a floral headband. When you'd moved in five years ago, she had brought over some cinnamon swirl muffins and a pot of blueberry tea. She'd just lost her own soulmate and husband of sixty-five years and was looking for a friend about as much as you were.

And although she had about eighty cats, all of which who were named after literary figures (your own cat was named Heathcliff), and often smelled like mothballs, you enjoyed spending time with her. She knew about your dilemma and didn't judge you for it. She didn't throw you a pitying look or make outrageous comments about why you'd been chosen to never meet your soulmate. If anything she acted like the way you thought your mother always should but never did. Not with judgement as your mother did, but with concern and love.

"Always." You shout back, muffled around the sesame seed bagel, stamping your foot to get your boot in the right position.

"Tea later?"

"Mhmm."

"Get some earl gray macaroons!"

You make it down the stairs successfully without falling, before throwing yourself against the door that leads into the black and white tiled lobby. Your high heeled boots clack loudly against the floor and you step out onto the crowded sidewalks of the early morning.

Fall was just beginning in the city, your favorite season. The leaves in Central Park were turning reddish brown and yellow and there was a wonderful chill that swept through the crowded streets.

You wove through the people, walking in the direction of NYU and looking down at the antique wristwatch perched on your left wrist to confirm what you already knew- that you were going to be late for your 8:00 am lecture on 20th Century American Romantics.

Shit.

The city is lively for a Monday morning. The chatter of people on phones, the buzz of traffic, the high pitched screech of horns, and the smells of the city wafted over you. It was so different from the small town you grew up in, but you loved being here. Here no one knew you, no one judged you, no one muttered something under their breath about you, and no one grabbed their children and crossed the street as if you were contagious.

You felt free.

You round the corner still looking down at your watch, weaving in and out of the foot traffic the best you can, when someone bumps into your shoulder. Whoever hit you was solid, broad, and much taller than you. The bagel drops from your mouth as you jostle from the bump, and you let out a low groan.

There goes my breakfast.

You look up prepared to curse out the offender when you stop. Whoever it was hadn't stopped moving, but you catch a flash of his bright green eyes as he passes, meeting yours for only a moment.

But that moment seems to last a lifetime.

He was tall with wild dark brown hair so long it touched his shoulders and a scraggly beard that fell over his chest almost to his collarbones. He looked dirty, almost worn, and was wearing a faded maroon track suit that had some writing on the sleeve in another language that you couldn't place. But his eyes were a brilliant green, so beautiful that they took your breath away.

As soon as his eyes meet yours, your skin hums, body lightening, warmth unfurling like the petals of a flower in the center of your chest curling outward reaching for the sun above. All sounds of the city vanish, leaving you only with the manic thud of your heart. Everything in your body turns towards the man, cells vibrating, reaching out, wanting more, begging you to grab him and hold him close. Electricity pulses and dances along your skin making your hair stand on end and goosebumps erupt along your flesh.

The birthday inscribed by the stars on your wrist sears against your skin like a brand beneath the foundation you smeared over it this morning. You look at him as if seeing for the first time, as if the past years of your life have been colorless, as if you'd been living in a cave for centuries and he's your first glimpse of sunlight, and as if you'd never seen the stars and he's the midnight sky.

You'd never felt any of this before.

The man's eyes widen as he looks at you, people passing between the two of you in a faceless blur, and you wonder if he feels it too.

He has to…

But the man shakes his head and turns his back on you continuing on his path down the sidewalk in the opposite direction, adjusting the strap of the bag on his shoulder as he goes.

"Wait-" You start to say, but your phone rings loudly in your pocket breaking the spell, and as you look down to retrieve it, you lose the man in the crowd.

What the hell just happened?

The rest of your day is chaotic, almost a blur, your body still humming from seeing that man on the street, wrist aching where the birthdate on your wrist burned against your flesh so hot that it seared through the foundation you brushed meticulously over the skin this morning to cover it up. It was no longer black, but flashed a brilliant gold with every shift of your wrist in the light as you moved your arm when teaching, peeking out beneath the sleeve of your sweater. Every flash distracted you from your lecture. Even your TA, Tate, who sat in the front row of your class began to notice how often you lost your train of thought.

You barely got through your 8:00 am lecture, stumbled through you 9:00 and 10:15, and canceled your 2:00 class much to the chagrin of your students who were expecting a test.

When Tate finally asked you if you're feeling alright, you wave a hand and tell him to take the rest of the day off, while you barricaded yourself in your office and stared at your wrist for hours, running your hands over the golden date confused. The birthdays always shone gold after two people found one another, and when your soulmate died, it went back to black, as if a reminder that the world had faded.

It was weird to see it shine so brightly when you'd lived your whole life staring at the mark and wishing for it to go away.

But he's not here, he's gone. I don't know where he went or how to find him…

Your friends back home described finding their soulmates before, tried to explain to you what it was like when they locked eyes with them for the first time, but everyone was different. No one could describe exactly how they felt when it happened.

Deep down you thought that it should feel like what happened when you locked eyes with the man on the street, like nothing else existed, just him and you but-

He acted like it was nothing like I was just another person and not the other half of his soul.

You swallow the lump in your throat, emotion from a lifetime of disappointment building, and finally the tears begin to crest and fall over your cheeks. You'd never heard of a one sided soulmate before, of only one person feeling drawn to the other one.

Then again, I've never heard of someone printed with the date of a soulmate who was born so far in the past.

Seeing him for the first time was like taking a bullet to the chest, the sharp spike, followed by the force of gravity jolting you into reality.

But why him?

You think again about how weathered he looked, like he'd been living under a rock for the past hundred years. And then you see the flash of his brilliant green eyes again in your mind, just for a fleeting moment, but it's enough to make the warmth trail along your skin, like the soft caress of a lover.

Was he really born in 1919? Or was this just another joke? Another way for the universe to laugh at me?

Frustrated tears blur your eyes as you stroke the birthdate on your wrist, heart breaking all over again, because it seemed that even if you had found the man the universe designated for you, he didn't care.

One Year Later: Present Day

You sigh loudly and hold up another dress in front of your body looking at yourself in the mirror. You had no idea what you were going to wear to Annie and your brother Hughie's housewarming party and you only had about another thirty minutes before you had to leave.

Your brother had been living in New York longer than you had, but he still made time for you. The two of you got lunch every week and it was your fault that he met Annie.

Meeting her yourself had been a complete fluke. You'd been sitting at your favorite bench in Central Park by the pond, reading your favorite book, allowing the gentle prose of the author to whisk you away for a few minutes, when someone sat down beside you and promptly began to cry.

And when you asked her what was wrong she'd told you everything about her problems at work and although you'd never been the best at comforting other people, you'd taken her to the closest coffee shop and the two of you had bonded over Chai Tea lattes.

You'd invited her over to watch a movie with your brother one Saturday night and then had a front row seat when the two of them realized that they were meant to be together. You'd tried to be happy for them, but the whole time Annie gushed about Hughie and Hughie stared at her like she was the last glimpse of the sun before it dropped below the horizon all you could think about was that it would never happen to you.

And now one year later, the two of them were finally moving in together in a fancy apartment uptown and you didn't want to imagine what the rent was. Your own studio was enough for you and you were lucky enough to have one that was rent controlled.

But you figured due to Annie being one of the Seven, she was probably making more than your measly teaching salary could ever amount to.

Learning that she was Starlight had been surprising, you weren't a supe, not even close and you didn't want to be. You had your hands full with teaching college kids, and didn't want to think about what it would be like to have superpowers or really what you would do with them. You certainly didn't need them to be a teacher and you didn't want to have them.

Plus, you always worried that you'd get some weird power like shooting webs out of your butt or making it rain blood. You didn't want to take that chance and shooting up Compound V felt like Russian Roulette.

You also worried about your brother working so closely with supes. The two of you hadn’t met any growing up and you worried that he was putting himself in danger every day when he went out to deal with them. But you were happy that Annie went with him, because you knew that she wouldn't let anything happen to him, she loved him too much.

As you hold up a black dress in the mirror you see a flash of the golden birthdate on your arm, and you're unable to fight the emotion that builds in your chest when you do.

It had been a year since it happened, since you locked eyes with a complete stranger on the street and felt your soul intertwine with his and he turned his back on you.

You'd understood that.

Understood that for some reason he decided to turn away like you meant nothing to him, like you weren't the other piece of his soul, and like a part of him didn't call out to you, a lighthouse over a stormy sea to a sinking ship.

It had broken you more than the first time you realized what the date on your arm meant. It always seemed ridiculous that something that brought happiness to millions of others made you feel broken, like there was something wrong with you.

And in that moment on the street something felt right for a few seconds, you felt whole for the first time in your life, only to have everything dashed against the rocks all over again.

But you hadn't forgotten him, couldn't forget him. His green eyes haunted you and each night you dreamed of him.

You saw pieces of his life, his memories, felt his pain, his anger, his frustration, and deep down his fear whenever you fell asleep. You'd never heard of that before, of a soulmate dreaming the memories of another.

You'd asked your neighbor, Mrs. Charleson if she had dreams of her soulmate's memories, she'd said no, but then she said that she'd heard about it, thought that it was only a myth, but it meant that the souls were fated to spend more than one lifetime together.

As if you knew what that meant.

It had broken your heart even more when she said that, because if that were true why did he turn away?

How could he turn away? Why did he leave me standing in the street and acted like I wasn't his other half?

It made you think that maybe he wasn't impressed with you and that he was disappointed that you of all people were his soulmate.

You'd had a mental breakdown at Mrs. Charleson's apartment when you went home early the day you met your soulmate or whatever the hell he was.

She'd made blueberry tea and rubbed you back. And when the tea hadn't worked she had cracked a bottle of red wine and ordered greasy takeout food that the two of you ate on her floral couch while her cats circled like sharks looking for a piece of your chicken and broccoli.

You would have called Annie, but she and Hughie were out of town on a long weekend getaway.

And when you went back to your apartment and crashed into your bed, you'd dreamt of him for the first time.

The memories you'd seen when you closed your eyes that night were not happy at all. You'd seen the early years of his life being berated by his father, years of him drinking and fucking his sorrows away, and then the worst, him being tortured in what looked like a lab. He was a supe, that much you could gather from the memories. But they were filled with pain, suffering, frustration- you'd never met someone who'd been through so much before. Endured so much torture.

You still didn't know his name, didn't see enough of his life to figure out who he was, only that he was different than you in almost every single way. The memories were terrible, filled with blood, death, and pain. It scared you to see your soulmate that way, see him so angry and see him hurt and kill people. You couldn't imagine the kind of man he was, the kind of man who could burn someone beyond recognition and feel absolutely nothing.

It was confusing. You didn't understand how someone who was supposed to be the other half of your soul, was the complete opposite of you. Someone that was filled with so much rage and pain was the man the stars declared was for you.

It doesn't matter anyway. He saw you and didn't want you.

You ignore the lump of emotion in the back of your throat and hold up a navy blue dress, but you hang it back in your closet with a sigh. Nothing seemed to be appropriate for you to wear to the party and you hadn’t been shopping for a new outfit in ages. Not to mention you knew that no matter what you wore Annie would look flawless.

You loved your brother's soulmate, but sometimes you were intimidated by how pretty she was and how together she was. It made you a little self-conscious about the long skirts, sweaters, and blazers you wore when you were at work and you were not together at all.

You seemed to always be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, frantically running from place to place and trying not to lose the last bit of sanity you had left. While Annie was confident, poised, and glided into each room.

Finally, you reach for a pair of your favorite blue jeans and the same green chunky knit sweater you were wearing the day that you saw him for the first time. The sleeves were long enough to cover the mark on the wrist. You hadn't told your brother or Annie about that day and you didn't want them to see the golden date on your wrist and ask you where your soulmate was.

Guess I'm going a little more casual today.

On your way out you give your cat, Heathcliff, an affectionate scratch behind the ears and grab your purse. You were running a little early this time, early enough to pick up a Snake Plant around the corner at your favorite plant shop, 'Please Don't Die,' as a housewarming gift and then stopped at the liquor store next door to grab a bottle of Annie's favorite wine.

You figured that you'd end up staying late and drinking wine with her long after the party was over.

Hughie opens the door of the apartment when you knock. "Thank God you're here! Annie is freaking out and driving me up the wall-"

"No I'm not! I'm just expressing all the things that have to be done within the next five minutes or I really am going to go crazy!" You hear his soulmate shout back when Hughie lets you in.

The apartment is fancier than yours, all white walls and glass windows that display a view you would kill for. Your brother is wearing a nice light blue button down shirt and navy tie, and his hair is it's usual fluffed and curly self. He looks happy and it warms a piece of your heart because you knew how much that he deserved it. And that's all you wanted for your older brother.

Annie appears, wearing a white dress that wraps over one shoulder and falls to her ankles, effortlessly elegant as usual. It made you feel self-conscious that you'd worn jeans, when Annie was wearing something that made her look like a Greek goddess.

"I am so underdressed." You mutter to yourself

"No! You look great babe. I love those jeans on you." She smiles pulling you in for a hug.

"Well-"

"But please let me do something with your hair." Annie touches the messy bun at the back of your head making a face.

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing, I'm just going to spruce it up a little bit for you."

"But-"

Annie pulls the bottle of wine and the plant from your arms and shoves them at Hughie. "We'll be right back." And with that she drags you to their shared bedroom.

20 minutes later your hair has been perfectly curled and styled by Annie's skillful hands. She'd even adjusted your make up so that now you're wearing a bold red lipstick and a dark eyeshadow that matches your ensemble. And even you have to admit that you look better than you did moments ago. You usually didn't wear that much makeup, sometimes it made you feel like you weren't you, but what Annie had applied seemed stylish.

"Thanks Annie."

"Of course." She smiles brightly and leads you back out into the large kitchen filled with stainless steel appliances and real marble countertops. "How have you been? Did you finish that paper you were writing?"

By now several people have already begun to gather at different parts of the apartment, talking quietly with one another, while sipping drinks and eating finger food. The sound of their chatter is masked by the Billy Joel song playing from the speaker in the corner.

"Yeah. I submitted it, now I'm just waiting for the department head to read it." You frown at the thought.

"You don't think he'll like it?" She moves to the freezer to grab a bag of ice.

"Dale doesn't like the modern period of literature as much as I do so I'm expecting him to have a lot of critiques and reasons why he doesn't like it." You take the bag from her and set it on the counter.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm used to it. He's never ecstatic about my research work." The thought makes you frown. "Even though he knows it's my specialty and the reason why he hired me."

"Isn’t he the creepy married guy that keeps trying to take you to dinner and wrote all those sensual poems about women who sound nothing like his wife?"

"Yep."

"Ew." Annie's face scrunches up in disgust.

"My thoughts exactly." You sigh looking around the kitchen for an ice bucket. "Do y'all have an ice bucket somewhere or-"

"It should be in that cabinet." She points behind you just as you hear someone knock loudly on the front door.

"Perfect."

The ice bucket is acrylic, see-through, and light pink, but you find it easily. The ice clanks against the sides as you pour, not bothering to watch Hughie open the door for whoever it was that hit the front door of the apartment with so much force you thought it would cave in.

Annie leans against the counter pouring herself a glass of wine and groans to herself when she sees who Hughie was greeting.

"What's wrong?" You ask her, your tongue between your teeth as you try not to spill any of the ice over the perfect countertops.

"I didn't think he would come." She grumbles.

"Who?"

"Ben." Annie all but sighs the name.

"And why didn't you want him to come?" You ask, pouring more ice into the bucket.

"He's just kind of rough-"

"Rough?"

"He works with Hughie. He's a supe. Thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread or whatever.” She sighs again and takes a sip of her white wine to calm down. "Actually he used to be Soldier Boy."

"Soldier Boy? You mean the supe from the 80's that died?"

Hughie didn't tell me he had a dead man working with him.

"It's a long story." Annie waves her hand as if to dissipate the thought, but it doesn’t make you any less curious. "Now he works at the bureau with Hughie trying to keep supes in check. Usually he and Butcher bump heads."

"Oh."

Hughie didn't talk much about what he did with Butcher, or really who he met, but after Homelander disappeared and Stormfront took over as leader as the Seven more supes began to come out of the woodwork, supes that had been afraid before, but now had no one to keep them in check. And although The Seven were feared in the city, no one was feared as much as Homelander.

"I'm sure that he won't try anything Annie. And if he does I'll keep him in check." You smile at your friend.

It's her housewarming party and supe or no if he's a prick I'm going to kick his ass out. Annie doesn't deserve to feel stressed today of all days.

"Thanks babe."

"What are friends for?"

She squeezes your arm and walks away to talk with MM who stands with a little girl who must be his daughter. You'd only spoken to him a handful of times, but he was always eager to talk about her achievements in school. He was so proud of her that it made your heart warm. Her mother wasn't his soulmate, but there hadn't been any hard feelings between MM and his daughter's mother.

That wasn't unusual. You'd known several people who decided to date other people before meeting their soulmate as a way of passing the time. You'd always thought it was ridiculous to commit yourself to someone else and fall in love with them, only to have your heart broken when they met who they were meant to be with.

It was why you hadn't tried to date anyone, because you might have never met your soulmate, but the other person you'd be in a relationship with would. And you didn’t want to give your heart to someone only to have them leave you when they met their other half. Which meant that you were probably going to die alone, especially because your soulmate doesn't want you. It hadn't helped that you'd seen a few memories from your own soulmate with other women over the years, women that didn't look anything like you, women that seemed more confident, more beautiful, and more stylish than you.

Maybe that's why he didn't want me.

Your feel the familiar twinge in your chest when you thought that and fought the tears that burned when you thought of how happy Annie and Hughie were. You didn't want to cry at their party.

The familiar question rises in your head again:

When will it be okay?

Probably never.

You turn toward the freezer holding the now half-full bag of ice intent on putting it back when someone bumps into you. The bag slips from your hands and ice goes skittering across the perfect hardwood floors in every direction, but just when you start to drop to pick it up, you feel a large hand grip your shoulder.

A gasp escapes from your mouth as it makes contact.

As soon as the palm touches you, you feel nothing else, not the shift of the sweater against your skin, not the slight chill from the air conditioner, not the brush of your hair against your cheeks, all you feel is the warmth radiating through your clothes and soaking into your skin from the person's hand.

The hand moves to cup your chin gently, the shock of the person's skin touching yours makes the feeling increase ten-fold as the hand tilts your face up to meet the eyes of the person who bumped into you.

You know it's him before your eyes meet his, know that it's the man from the street who you saw for only a few seconds a year ago, but this time when his beautiful green eyes meet yours everything you felt that day comes roaring back.

He's taller than you remember, shoulders proud and broad stretching a dark gray button down shirt over his chest that have the sleeves rolled up revealing tanned arms. His hair is shorter, still dark brown, but now only long enough to cover the tops of his ears and his beard is shaved so that only a thick dusting covers his cheeks, but it's still him. And he's more handsome than any version you could come up with in your mind.

All sound in the room vanishes, the drone of chatter fades, the clinking of glasses disappears, the only sound that remains is your own heart thudding in your chest and you swear you can hear his beating at the same frequency, both of your hearts calling out to one another.

Your entire body feels like it's vibrating, as if every cell is moving so fast that they're heating you from the inside, leaving behind a molten puddle of what you used to be. A golden cord weaves around the two of you securing your heart to his in your mind, making you gasp as it hooks to his heart binding his soul to yours. Time stops as he gazes at you, something brightening in his green eyes as they absorb your own gaze.

The man doesn't move. It almost looks like he's stopped breathing, and you realize that you haven't taken a breath since he touched your shoulder. His eyes drop down to your right wrist where your hand rests over his heart, where he knows his birthday will be.

You don't remember reaching out to touch him, but now that you realize it, you can feel his heart beating beneath the palm of your hand like a fluttering bird, gentle and judging by the memories you had witnessed from him, nothing about this man was gentle.

"I've been looking everywhere for you sweetheart." The man rumbles, the words vibrating against your fingertips where they rest against his muscular chest. He smiles down at you and somewhere deep down you feel something break open that you thought was locked away long ago.

And as you stand there looking up at the man you thought you'd never see again, the autumn sun warm against your back, you feel a flicker of something that could grow into a blaze spark to life in your chest.

A/N: I hope y'all loved the first chapter as much as I loved writing it! I've never written a soulmate AU, so I am a little nervous about it, but I think that it's going to be a lot of fun! And yes, I did give Ben the same birthday as Dean Winchester (not the same year). In my head Ben is Dean from a different universe, and it just made sense to me. 😂

Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated! I love hearing what y'all think 😊 If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series please let me know! :)

Taglist:

@pamwritessometimes @roger-that-cap @my-obsession-spn @deangirl96 @kr804573

@roseblue373 @52ndstreeet @mrsjenniferwinchester @impala67stellawinchester

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy fic #soldier boy x y/n

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vampireistic · 7 months ago

Text

the problem with natlan / sumeru

warning: long post

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to preface this i’d like to say that i’m in no ways an expert in the topics present, i’m just an autistic dumbass with too much time on his hands who enjoys a bit of research — i’m in no way, shape or form trying to belittle players who are excited for the update, by all means i hope you enjoy it, i’m just trying to give criticism.

you can enjoy/play a game while criticising it simultaneously.

when it comes to the topic of racial diversity and a company like hoyoverse that’s based in china, there’s quite a lot of political baggage that comes along with it. while i’ll try my best to go over that, i’m afraid i can only give a very limited eastern european perspective on it and i’ll certainly get things wrong or misinterpret things — if you’d like a more thorough view on the politics, please go read the post made by @zeichannnnn (hope you don’t mind the tag my love)

firstly, i’ll be going over general misconceptions, ridiculous excuses and or stereotypes that i’ve seen commonly come up in this conversation.

any and all screenshots will have usernames cut off for privacy, i want to maintain a civilised discussion and not cause argument.

a lot of my critiques are more so towards the attitude the fandom has when it comes to this argument and their blatant colourism. as my friend above says, no one ever complained about characters in liyue/inazuma being paper white despite the fact realistically, no one in EA is that colour naturally. this of course stems from the beauty standards but that’s a discussion for later on.

the point is that if say a nation like liyue, had the same skin colour as a character like xinyan (who hails from liyue and has a liyue name) people would undoubtedly be upset. so why is it that when in terms of nations that are based off countries with a darker skin colour variety, complaining about the characters being white is seen as a problem?

culture isn’t defined by racial diversity, but when you’re monetising off the representation of different countries cultures, the very least you can do is show the actual diversity within said culture instead of slapping a cultural name on a white model (cue that one picture of the egyptian dude who looks like a plain american).

the idea that because it’s fantasy or anime, having black characters is surreal or improbable is rooted in white supremacy’s hold over unfair beauty standards as well as just the general consensus that black people are less desirable in media. which is completely false.

characters like dehya have proven that a character’s race is irrelevant when it comes to likeness, given the fact the chinese community ended up donating to charities because of said characters story.

the reason why the lightly toasted characters appear tan to you is because the rest of the cast is so horrifically pale (nahida’s hex code is #FFF7F1, cyno’s is #EEC6A6 which when placed next to each other may look like a big difference, but in reality the colours are on the same side of the colour wheel only a few spaces apart).

hoyoverse does in fact use culture as a mere aesthetic and costume to plant on white models. that is NOT to say they misrepresent culture entirely: this post goes over how hoyoverse is perfectly capable of doing impressive research to bring forth forgotten or unknown bits of culture.

even aside from the problems with racial diversity, the character design department has been known to completely fail when it comes to accurate representation. from the sexualisation of the kimono in characters like raiden shogun (which even the eastern part of the fandom have been upset about) to the character of yunjin where the chinese player based believed she was more like a lolita inspired caricature than a real depiction. they don’t understand how to mingle tradition with modernism.

in all fairness, it is difficult — and i will praise the game for making natlan much more technologically advanced and vibrant than people were expecting because having the one nation that’s based off africa and indigenous people be a wasteland would’ve ultimately been a problem. personally, i even love the slight mashup of “tribes” and the pokémon esque aesthetic — its new, and a smart way to bring two things together.

same thing cannot be said for how hyv ignores the fact darker people of colour are also significant when it comes to the building of culture.

please read over these that go more into depth about problems:

natlan being an amalgamation of three separate countries/cultures.

misrepresenting both continents natlan’s based from

another thing that’s always bothered me is the excuses people used in sumeru about the presentation of characters that were based off real people; specifically, kusanali.

yes, she’s based off a hindu moon goddess who’s described as pale and sure that could’ve been the reason she’s nearly the colour white — but how come candace, who’s based off kandake, a fully black woman, is presented as being slightly tan? you can’t pick and choose what you represent and honestly the idea that nahida’s character is supposed to be a depiction of the moon goddess is disrespect to the goddess herself (please go look at a singular picture of her and you’ll understand the utter tragedy).

hoyoverse also has a bit of a history with both whitewashing their slightly tan characters (nekomiya from zoneless zen zero, arlan from honkai star rail etc) but i think one of their biggest proofs of disrespect comes to carole pepper from hi3.

now, this is not at all me saying you can’t present female characters as very muscular — no. in fact, i would’ve loved if characters like beidou had a similar sort of build. but out of all the characters you could’ve chosen to give this to, you chose a black woman.

would this be a problem if it continued with other characters? not really. the issue lies within the fact the ONLY mother in game who’s presented as buff and “masculine looking” is a black woman — something that’s quite literally a stereotype against black women who are regarded as “naturally less feminine” than white women.

eastern beauty standards

the assertion that eastern beauty standards prevent the inclusion of black characters in video games is not only invalid but also reflects deeper issues of bias and systemic exclusion in the gaming industry. this argument is flawed for several reasons, including the diversity of beauty standards in eastern cultures, the global nature of the gaming market, and the responsibility of creators to reflect and promote inclusivity.

to claim that eastern beauty standards universally exclude black characters oversimplifies and homogenizes the diverse beauty ideals present in countries like japan, south korea, and china. these cultures are not monolithic and have their own histories and contemporary movements that embrace a variety of appearances.

creators in the gaming industry have a responsibility to reflect the diversity of the real world and promote inclusivity. video games are a powerful medium that can shape perceptions, challenge stereotypes, and foster empathy. by including black characters, game developers can contribute to a more inclusive and equitable society. this requires intentionality and a commitment to representation that goes beyond mere tokenism. the argument that eastern beauty standards prevent such inclusion suggests a lack of willingness to challenge existing norms and expand the narrative possibilities within games. hoyoverse have themselves stated in their mission statement that their goal is to show inclusivity.

that’s not to say it’s not clear that china’s beauty standards have unfortunately affected the gaming market: but for a game that brandishes itself on localising itself for a global audience (meaning, outside of its region), it’s a poor excuse. those standards aren’t universal and shouldn’t be used as gateway into designing.

once again, i am NOT at all very well versed in politics especially one that’s overseas (well, next door neighbour in a way) so i definitely will misinterpret or misunderstand things unintentionally and if i do, i’m really sorry.

historical nihilism to me doesn’t relate to black people, just actual story events (hence why hoyoverse had to put a warning label for fontaine that the events presented didn’t represent that of the real world and any similarities were mere coincidence). black people existing isn’t regarded as “politically harmful” neither is it an extraordinary idea — it’s just another group of people.

although, the CCP has a MASSIVE history about their demonisation and hatred of black people therefore, even without the idea that the censorship stems from something like historical nihilism, it’s likely something to do with individual prejudice.

politically, i can semi-understand why hoyoverse is in a tight space for racial diversity. but that doesn’t mean i’m willing to baby a company that profits billions worth of profit from other cultures that they misrepresent and i’m even less inclined to hold the hands of hoyoverse dickriders who believe people complain about race just solely to whine. it’s a real systemic issue, and one that’s prevalent in a multitude of games aside from genshin.

people from the cultures presented are rightfully upset and they shouldn’t be told to just “accept”mediocrity. it’s their culture and identities being ridiculed, it’s their identities being profited from for the sake of aesthetics for a game that preaches inclusivity to the people that are willing to ignore its prejudice.

hell, even as a polish person, just thinking about what they’ll do with snezhnaya upsets me even if it’s not racially based — once again, the media emphasises the idea that eastern europe / slavic culture is purely russia meanwhile they steal little things from all of the surrounding countries in eastern europe (won’t forget the fact they changed that password thing in sumeru from “ravioli” to “pierogi”).

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TL;DR hoyoverse uses other people’s cultures and identities as an aesthetic and proceeds to profit off of it while misrepresenting the sample of people they chose to depict and while a political argument can be made in this regard, ultimately the backlash from people rightfully feeling unjustified in the lack of racial diversity is what amplifies these colourist attitudes: and while hoyoverse has seemingly much more legal repercussions to commit to their idea of diversity, the fandom has no excuse for their disregard of different identities.

also just a funny thing my friend and i did to show just how white these characters are lol

“ blackwashing “ versus “ whitewashing “

i feel like i need to add this little section too because i know there will be a lot of people that draw or reimagine the characters in a variety of different skin tones, and i know a lot of people will be upset (usually it’s just the lowlife weebs who cry at the thought of a black woman being in the same room as them).

historically, media, including video games and anime, have predominantly featured pale-skinned characters, often neglecting the representation of people of color. this lack of diversity reinforces a narrow view of beauty and heroism, contributing to the systemic exclusion of non-white individuals. blackwashing helps to rectify these historical imbalances by providing a broader spectrum of racial representation. it challenges the default assumption that characters must be pale-skinned and introduces audiences to a more inclusive range of appearances.

representation matters profoundly in media. seeing characters that reflect one's own identity can have significant positive effects on self-esteem and cultural pride. blackwashing creates opportunities for black audiences to see themselves in roles and narratives traditionally dominated by pale-skinned characters.

critics (once again, youtube creators and tiktok lmao) of blackwashing often argue that it disrespects original character designs or cultural contexts. however, the impact of changing a character's skin tone is minimal compared to the harm caused by whitewashing. whitewashing often erases the cultural significance of non-white characters, perpetuating stereotypes and denying the rich diversity of the source material. blackwashing, in contrast, does not erase cultural identities but rather enhances the inclusivity of the media. it provides a more diverse and representative depiction without detracting from the character's original essence or storyline.

in addition, usually when a character is black in fantasy media or even just an anime/game with a lore based story, it’s because their race is significant to who they are (i.e tiana from princess and the frog who faces racial discrimination — without her being a person of colour, this storyline and the events that follow wouldn’t make sense).

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i’m sorry for such a long and probably nonsensical rant, but this has bothered me into absolute oblivion especially the community’s response to the uproar of people who rightfully critique and are upset by the company.

#i won’t entertain mediocrity no matter the excuse #sorry for the long post i got a headache while writing it 😢#genshin #genshin impact #gi #genshin natlan #natlan #genshin critical

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razzledazzlebeach · 5 months ago

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Daryl Dixon took awhile to age mentally

As I read more and more analysis about Daryl and rewatch some of the earlier seasons, I wonder if it was intended for his character to have some kind of age regression issue. (I didn't do, like, extensive research, I just looked into some CPTSD and age regression signs on a few different sites, so this is just an idea I'm tossing out in hopes of hearing some other perspectives!)

The first situation that really catches my attention is his reaction to Merle being left in Atlanta. Now, obviously, this would be an incredibly emotional time for anyone and it's not entirely out of place to just say he was very distraught over the news and anyone could have reacted the same way he did. I just think that the specific way he did might have some signs. If you think about a grown man, especially one who was raised in a very macho household, you would assume that their reaction might be to storm out or yell at someone. Although Daryl did yell, he also started crying and pacing. It seemed almost as if he was having a full-on meltdown. Some signs of age regression are meltdowns (Ranting, shouting, insulting others, threatening others, whining, angry tears, or getting physically violent) that ring any bells?

I couldn't find a gifs of that exact moment :(

It probably didn't help that the entirety of the camp was staring at him as all of this happened. Temper tantrums can happen because someone is scared/ashamed and can't regulate themselves. (Like sensory overload.)

Another thing that I want to kind of address is the way Rick responds to Daryl when he's having these sorts of meltdowns. Throughout the series, and in the third episode, we see Rick bending down almost horizontally just so he can make eye contact with Daryl. He speaks to him like he's a child, and instead of feeling insulted, Daryl actually takes comfort in it and calms down!

"I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic, do you think we can manage that?"

What is age regression?

We all know that Daryl was abused as a child, and trauma like that can sort of freeze the brain. This is a quote I really like that explains it: “It doesn’t necessarily make you stuck at a certain age, but instead, [you are] acting out the emotional wounding that happened at that age,” Lapides adds." People may start to regress because they are triggered or feel threatened, and an apocalypse seems like it would cause a constant trigger. Daryl might be reverting back to childlike behaviors as a trauma response. (honorable mention being the nail biting, but that's a bit of a reach) Shane being the way that he was could have also been a trigger for him.

One of the symptoms of age regression is overly clingy behavior. And you are probably thinking, "well, if there's anything Daryl has, it's not clingy behavior. He's a loner." I disregarded this too for awhile before I really thought about it. He is highly independent when he's doing things he's comfortable in, like being in the woods or going for runs. But when it comes to making decisions or being social, Daryl immediately clings to someone who he knows will do it for him. Most of his life he had Mere to hide behind. The most outgoing and shameless person alive. I don't think Merle ever asked Daryl his opinion on anything. He would decide, and Daryl would follow, and I think Daryl took a lot of comfort in that. So when Merle was gone, he latched onto Rick because he was the best choice. He knew Rick was a very righteous man who had plenty of leadership qualities. He knew Rick would make decisions for him, and give him directions.

Carol and Rick's mothering

Circling back to the way Rick would react to Daryl's outbursts, carol sometimes did the same thing. I know some people ship them, but honestly, at least in the earlier seaons, I got major mother/son vibes from the two of them. Especially when Beth died and she was trying to teach him how to grieve. The forehead kisses, the pookie nickname, all of it seemed to point in that direction. There was also another time Rick pulled the "Can we manage that?" move, and it was during Aiden and Glenn's fight in S5. He made sure to get low enough to make eye contact, and block his pacing. He kept telling Daryl that "We can't do this now." It all just looks a lot like he and carol are parenting Daryl, if only in moments where he is feeling intense stress and that trauma triggers.

Anyways, this was just a few ideas I was tossing around, and very clearly this in my first analysis lol, any thoughts?

#twd #age regression #character analysis #fictional characters #daryl dixon #twd daryl #the walking dead #carol peletier #rick grimes #shane walsh #childhood abuse #trauma response #trauma regressor

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the-moon-files · 7 months ago

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Wait, quick idea! Twilight looks like the only hylian in his village because everyone else has round ears, so what if he wasn’t as surprised as the others to see their human companion so resilient, but still fairly impressed because of the fact that most if not all people in his village don’t put themselves in as drastic situations as the reader? Or is this just humans from our world?

get out of my head lmao /lh - you, me, and wayfayrr are actually the same person on diff accounts LMAO

im of the belief that (blame @wayfayrr, my beloved) that he knows of humans bc of some in his village but yeah, just not the type of human in drastic situations

(ALSO they wrote me a fun, long, glorious, male reader human space orc au fic for winning their raffle a bit ago, and it brings up their headcanon abt this and i Adore It actually, check it out here pls if u wanna know🤲)

(also if u see this wayfayrr, sorry for the ping, also should i be calling u moss? or wayfayrr?? idk which, i hope thats even ok to ask 😭 i assumed u would call my ass Moon)

Moon: Male-Masc Reader (he/him)

Orbit: short headcanons-ish, rambling mostly

Stars: Twilight Princess Link (Twi/Twilight), mentions of other Links

Comets & Meteors: CWs: none known, & TWs: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

to reiterate what i said up there, in case u skipped it for the bullet points,

i like the headcanon he knows humans, knows some of their quirks, and how they were the first ppl the other hylian villagers called on to help stuck cows or downed wagons, lots of heavy lifting stuff

but he really hasnt seen the extent of real humans, bc the humans who were in Ordon, well, they lived in hylian society,

why would they need the adrenaline to lift a car when hylians have set up whole tools and systems in all their towns to help lift just a full bucket of water out of the well??

not to mention, i think all the humans in his village were older adults? like at least not the age theyd be doing things like parkour or going to any trampoline parks type of age,

id imagine its more like stories talked about amongst hylians how hard humans can go, and even the humans themselves talked abt things like,

“well compared to u hylians, we have stomachs made of molten lava to you guys really, but we never have to use it, bc u know hylian food works just fine”

when Twi asked they would say stuff like that, but as soon as he saw ur human ass just picking wildflowers and berries off the side of the road to snack on? even random grasses/vines at some point (kudzu)?? easily eating Wild’s Dubious Food that's DEFINITELY got monster parts in it???! gnawing on the bone of a cucco and it just breaks??!!! and you look surprised too, thank fuck finally a normal reaction from u- oh my goddesses u were just curious (damn the elders were right abt human curiosity too) **and are now sucking out the marrow and eating the bone-!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight’s perspective of you is actually the equivalent of like, reading stories about vampires all ur life, then this new friend you made starts to get allergic to garlic, crave blood, has crazy strength and advanced senses, etc

and he’s just watching those honest-to-Hylia human mythological feats play out in real time in front of him, like he’s the only self-aware character in the story that immediately clocks the really obvious vampire as a vampire lmao

is the first to either 1. start choking on his laugh as he theoretically knows ur about to jump on the back of a lynel/hinox to ride it around and watch as the others come to the same conclusion OR 2. try to Stop you from jumping on said big monster in an attempt to ride it around bc he gets used to ur human BS quicker than the others and can see it coming a mile away now lol

very much so this meme:

(ur welcome i made it myself <3)

anyway id love to rant abt this dynamic

abt both Twi’s shock at you eating peppers like a god has come down from the sky to prove their immortality,

but also poor rancher esstientally humansitting you too lmao

the Chain/Time/Wars absolutely put him down as the resident human expert like: “ok he just drank like, 5? No- Four stop him from drinking more at least- (dual sighs). okay, 6 stamina potions, will that kill him??”

Twilight, saviour of Hyrule, of the Twili, Link from Twilight Princess himself,

has to keep a record book of all the new shit he’s heard/learned about humans in Ordon, what he has actively learned abt ur ass just fucking around and finding out, and the few bread crumbs of information u give him abt ur species

(that rlly just come off as kind of cryptid statements abt u/humanity, or don't apply in this scenario bc ur only comparison is Earth Rules, which honestly scare every single fucking one of them in the same way as walking on Ganon’s lawn or something, like straight up view ur home planet as enemy territory, the Amazon jungle, the Hyrule wilds if you will-)

Twilight also gets involuntarily volunteered for human-sitting duty too

tbh the only person Not allowed on human-sitting duty, when u guys go new areas esp, is Wild/Hyrule

you’d tell him you wanna get inside the guardian robot to operate it and ride it around and he’d probably be in shock you even fathomed something like that, yet also now EXTREMELY intrigued to watch it play out

(they’re both more of a “u wanna jump off a cliff?? that's actually crazy, wait for me please.” he seems to think he can somehow protect you if he joins you? its worked sometimes to be fair to him ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ just not really conveniently when the rest of the Chain are around lmao)

☆

i live btw, ive been writing/updating fics along with life updates (moving states/new job/online class) so a few asks will hopefully be answered over here in the next 2ish weeks

no promises, my life is kinda girlbossing at the moment too close to the sun and i am Nervous abt disappointing u guys

i already feel like im disappointing my other blog bc i haven't posted in forever bc im writing a fic instead of asks during any free time i dedicate to writing for it so :/

pls excuse my super slowness like a package ur waiting for in the mail or smth type of slow

AGAIN thanks for the ask!! i hope this was at least entertaining to read as some addon to what u said, you guys have gotta check out some of wayfayrr’s stuff if ur into this, bc they're the only other place i can think of that's talked abt humans not just being the same as hylians

have a great week!!

Peace out hugs and chaos,

🌙

#male reader #link x reader #lu x reader #linked universe x reader #linked universe reader #lu x male reader #loz link x reader #linked universe male reader #moon asks #lu x masc reader #lu guide reader #lu humans are space orcs au #lu humans are Not hylians au

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mitskicain · 6 months ago

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navi | m.list

. ⁺ . ✦ the doghouse — ken sato x reader

synopsis: date night; you talk about dealbreakers and what you want out of life, and each other.

content warning: cursing and profanity, suggestive, innuendos

word count: 1.4K

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003: play date

He arrives fifteen minutes early, with Indian, Chinese, Italian and Japanese takeout.

“I didn’t know what you liked,” he says, letting himself in and kicking his shoes off by the door, setting the bags on the counter. “So I got a little bit of everything.”

You stare at the food with a bewildered look in your eyes. This would last you the whole week. What the hell is this guy—made of money? Well, okay, granted his apartment and how he didn’t even ask you for the 400 bucks back suggests maybe, but christ, doesn’t he have other things he should be spending this on, like supercars or thousand dollar clothing?

Your train of thought is interrupted by him shoving you a greasy tub of butter chicken, alongside some garlic naan with a side of udon noodles. Interesting combo. You take your seat on the floor, setting the food on the shallow coffee table that’s littered with unopened mail and receipts.

“Do a lot of shopping?” He asks, mouth full of lasagna—he’s already chowing down on the food without as much as waiting for you to have taken your first bite. What a gentleman.

“No, well, not for me,” you reply, pushing around the food on your plate, “it’s for them.” You point towards your two dogs that are eyeing him keenly from behind the screen door, their eyes a flash of light in the dark. From a stranger's perspective, they must look absolutely vicious, but to you they were just Lassie and Strauber—from childhood, from the old days.

“Mm,” he hums, taking a sip of his Diet Coke. “Not much of a dog person, I’m afraid.”

You make a face.

“Date’s over, eugh,” you say, “dealbreaker.”

The both of you laugh, faces cracking up and all teeth—a flash of canines, again—something in your stomach churns.

“Seriously?” You ask, looking over at Ken who’s still hunched over, trying to stifle his laugh. “How could you say no to dogs?”

“I got chased by one as a kid, I guess it stuck.” he says, scooping up another mouthful of lasagna. He motions over to the two, “they bite?”

“Hard,” you grin, reminded of the time you asked him the same question. “When they bite, they don’t let go.”

He grimaces a bit, imagining the bloody, messy scene. You dip the naan in the curry, mopping up all its goodness. Ken devours his plate, and reaches for more—it’s a disgusting sight, like he’s been starved for days—but there’s something fulfilling about it too, like watching Strauber absolutely demolish a serving after you run an extra mile with her.

“You’re a mess,” you say, leaning forward and wiping a sauce streak away from the edge of his lip. You see the surprise on his face when your finger meets his skin, like he doesn’t expect it—didn’t know you were capable of being tender. Part of you didn’t expect it either.

Silence for a moment; the atmosphere still. The two of you realize you barely know anything about the other. You were just two strangers sharing a meal in your apartment.

“I read some of your stuff from the dayplanner,” he says, clearing his throat, hand on the back of his head. “It’s really good, I mean—you’re a writer?”

You give him an incredulous look, and laugh, shaking your head.

“No, not me, well—” you set the plate on the table and reach for your drink, some Indian rose milk he picked up that actually tasted really good, “not yet, at least. I’m hoping to make my big break soon.”

Silence, again—just for a second.

“You’ll make it,” he says, voice soft, looking over at him. His head is resting on the cushion of the couch, hair messy and cheeks slightly warm. Did he run on the way here? From restaurant to restaurant, trying to figure out what you would like before deciding: fuck it, and getting everything? You feel his fingers twitch slightly, inching towards yours. You turn away and wrap your arms around yourself.

“Don’t do that,” you struggled to pinpoint the feeling—the twisting, the churning—it made you feel sick, like you wanted to puke. The world seemed to spin. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you believe in me,” your voice falters. “It’s cruel, you know—giving false hope.”

He presses his lips into a thin line. He reaches for your hand again, this time you turn to look at him.

“I do mean it.” He says.

God.

You tear your gaze away from him—it’s too much, all of this. You can’t possibly comprehend it. His fingers tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You reach for his hand and look up at him—his eyebrows furrowed, gray irises shimmering in the low light, mouth slightly open.

“Hey,” he breathes, voice just barely above a whisper.

“Hey,” you reply.

“Am I still just a one night stand?” He asks, and your stomach sinks. You frown a little.

“What does it matter?” You ask.

“Because I want to be more than just that,” he says, quick and easy. He sucks in a breath, as if preparing himself. “I want you.”

Your shoulders fall, and you lean forward into him, his lips finding the sensitive skin on your neck; nibbling and sucking. You squirm underneath his touch.

“Please,” he sighs in between kisses, his breath hot against your ear. “Please.”

His teeth sink into your flesh, followed quickly by his tongue rubbing soothing circles, then a kiss—like apologizing. He does this throughout the entirety of your neck, from underneath your jaw all the way along your collarbone. Your skin is slick with saliva and sweat, face red from the heat. Your hands find their way up his neck, when they grab a handful of his hair—you hear him moan.

God, the way he sounded.

“Please,” he says again, begging. Breathlessly. Desperately. “Please, I’ll be good.”

You whine, and push him away, trying to catch your breath. He falls back but catches himself by his arms, biceps flexed and straining underneath the black shirt he wore. It’s tight enough that you can make out the rouse of muscles underneath. His face is flushed, eyes half lidded, mouth open—breathing shallow. What a sight.

God.

He’s about to lean forward to reach for you again when he knocks over the half full cup of rose milk all over you, splattering all across your legs and the floor. His face twists into a look of panic, and he frantically grabs a fistful of tissues, trying to dab away at the mess before you change your mind or yell at him.

“Stop,” you say, and he freezes in his tracks, looking up at you. You tilt your head, gauging his reaction—the way he looks up at you with wide curious eyes, arms still frozen in position, so eager to please—like a dog.

“You said you’d be good, right?” You murmur, leaning back, “then clean this up.”

He tries to wipe at the mess but you stop him again, making a sharp ‘tsk’ sound with your tongue. He stops, perplexed gaze fixed on you, trying to figure out what you mean. You smile at the sight and raise a pointed foot, his hands instinctively reaching for the flesh of your calves.

“Lick,” you command, a glint in your eye. He stays still for a moment—breath hitched in his throat—before leaning down, eyes still fixed on you, and kisses the skin of your legs. His tongue is warm, gliding over you in slow strokes, sending shivers up and down your spine. You can feel the soft, velvety texture of him as he moves upwards, savoring every inch of you. The sensation is both soothing and electrifying. A mix of gentle pressure and lingering heat.

You lean forward, and push him back again, his back against the couch. He’s surprisingly lenient, not struggling when you climb onto his lap and straddle his hips. You trail your hands on his chest and you feel his heart, thundering against his ribcage. His hands feel up the milky skin of your thighs, resting on your waist.

“Please,” he says again, so close you can feel his breath on your lips. “Please, I want you.”

You grab his hands off your thigh and pin them by his side, a gasp escaping his lips. Your other hand grabs his face roughly, forcing him to look at you before you turn his head to press a wet trail of kisses up his jaw. He shivers and moans underneath your grasp.

“Mmm,” you hum into his skin, pulling away to whisper in his ear. “I love it when good boys beg.”

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author’s note: Lassie and Strauber watching you make out with him from out the backyard be like 👁️👄👁️ HAHAHAHAH i love men when they beg and yearn like 💥💥 need him crawling, sobbing on his knees 🫡🫡‼️‼️‼️ my favorite genre of men is when they’re a little bit pathetic HEHEHEH🤭🤭🤭🤭 BUT ALSO‼️‼️ I wanted to ask: do you guys have any specific dealbreakers when it comes to dating? Like for me I absolutely can’t stand when they’re rude to staff like waiters or salespeople 😭😭🙏 or when they’re messy eaters—what about you guys?? feel free to share them in the comments, and as always, thank you for supporting my work ‼️‼️‼️‼️ MUAH MAUHHH👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

taglist: @luneariaa @moonjellyfishie @sweetcheeksbby-deactivated20240 @shittingonyourgrave @shauu @witcwitchy @fcklxnaa @despacito-uwu16 @mqshido @miffysoo @ybbayk @hore4ken @mochminnie @femmefqtqle @miratastic @lovingyeet @mythicalmo @yourfellowmarzipan @softdumplingposts @shinebright2000

#Spotify #ultraman #ultraman: rising #kenji sato #ken sato #kenji sato fluff #ken sato fluff #ken sato smut #kenji sato smut #kenji sato x you #kenji sato x reader #kenji sato x y/n #ken sato x you #ken sato x reader #ken sato x y/n #mitskicain’s works #mitskicain

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nerdygaymormon · 6 days ago

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Ben Schilaty, who has done so much good through his book, his podcast, and being a visible gay man in the church and at BYU, shares about the change in climate at BYU over the past few years. Many LDS members consider him "safe" and "a good one," but even he was not spared. The current retrenchment can be seen as beginning in 2020 when the Honor Code changed to remove prohibitions on same-sex dating or displays of affection. That caused a backlash amongst conservative donors and some LDS General Authorities who have since worked to restrict queer visibility and silence queer authenticity.

I'm sharing Ben's entire post below

————————————————————

I Worked at BYU as an Openly Gay Administrator

I have three degrees from BYU (which I lovingly refer to as my “three degrees of glory”) and I worked there as an Honor Code administrator from 2019-2023. I spent 12 years of my adult life on that campus. So I say this with no hyperbole and a bit of embarrassment–Brigham Young University is my favorite place on the planet.

It’s been almost a year and a half since I left my job at BYU and I feel it’s time to share some stories about what it was like to be an openly gay employee. BYU employs over 6,000 people so there is a wide range of experiences and I only speak for myself. I hope anyone who reads this will understand how incredibly wonderful it was to work at BYU, while also painful and difficult at times.

When I applied to work in the Honor Code Office I shared in my cover letter that I was gay. I did not want to work anywhere that I couldn’t be open about my orientation. I literally jumped for joy when I was offered the job. Just a few weeks later the Chairman of the Board of Trustees gave a devotional at BYU where he spoke extensively about the LGBTQ community. After the devotional I was working in my office when one of my new colleagues popped in to ask how I was doing. We didn’t know each other well, but he thought I might have some feelings about the devotional. I told him everything, absolutely everything I was feeling. To his credit, this near stranger listened with curiosity and compassion and asked a lot of great questions. I’m sure he didn’t agree with everything I said, and I didn’t need him to. I was just grateful that he cared to ask. This coworker would become a dear friend.

I was invited to a few meetings to discuss how the campus could move forward after this sudden pendulum swing. No one in any of those meetings could dictate what the Honor Code included, that was a Board of Trustees level decision, but I was invited to share my perspectives. I repeatedly asserted my belief that same-sex dating should be allowed at BYU. I was never reprimanded or disciplined for holding and sharing that position (the same was also true when I shared that I thought beards should be allowed). While my view did not prevail, I felt genuinely respected by everyone in those meetings. As I left one meeting, a high level administrator shook my hand and said, “We are so blessed to have you here at BYU.” I felt like I was the lucky one.

A year and a half later in the summer of 2021, a two page typed letter arrived in my office mailbox. The author had read an article I’d written in Y Magazine and was deeply concerned that BYU would employ someone like me (you can read the offending article here). In the letter (that was longer than my article) he complained about me and stated that he was a longtime donor and would no longer be giving money to BYU because of me. At the end of the letter he listed all the people who he was sending this same letter to. I was by far the least important person on that list. I was hurt and confused, but I wasn’t scared. My colleagues at BYU knew me and they trusted me and I knew they had my back.

A month later a member of the Board of Trustees gave an address at BYU where he quoted a letter from a concerned parent. I thought of the letter I had recently received. He spoke with concern about a student who had commandeered a graduation speech by coming out in the middle of it. He also spoke of divisive symbols and flag waving. He didn’t specify what symbols he was referring to, but given the LGBTQ context of his remarks I assumed he was talking about rainbows and pride flags.

It felt like the world shifted underneath me that day. I was no longer sure what I was allowed to say about my orientation at work. Had I commandeered the BYU TEDx event when I came out in my talk? Was my rainbow ring divisive? Was I allowed to say I was gay when I guest lectured in classes? I was the same, but the university environment suddenly felt different.

I felt a weight bearing down on me in the days after the talk. My boss’s boss sat with me on a bench as I shared my fears, hurt, and confusion. As I cried he just listened. I only ever felt love and care from the people at BYU who knew me. It was the people who didn’t know me that scared me.

A few weeks later I spoke at an event on campus centered on belonging. I asked if it would be okay for me to come out in my remarks. One of the organizers said, “I think it’s better you don’t.” So I didn’t. As I got ready to walk onto the stage I slipped my rainbow ring off my finger and stashed it in my pocket, not wanting to be accused of displaying a divisive symbol. Later during the event, a musical performer came out as LGBTQ in between songs. Right after this disclosure I overheard one administrator say to another, “They won’t be performing here again.” Coming out had just gotten them cancelled.

A few months later I was called into a meeting with a high level administrator. At the beginning of the meeting I was assured that I wasn’t in trouble. I was then told that I had said something that needed to be addressed. I had recently spoken at a fireside that wasn’t affiliated with BYU about how to minister to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. A concerned attendee wrote a letter to the Commissioner of Church Education which was then forwarded to the president of BYU who asked this administrator to speak with me. The concern was that I had said that prophets aren’t fax machines for God. I explained that He doesn’t just put words into their minds that then came out exactly as they were communicated, but that divine inspiration was filtered through the prophet’s own words and life experiences. I had taken this idea from an article written by a BYU religion professor that was published by BYU. “You need to be more careful to not say anything that could be interpreted as you not sustaining the Brethren,” I was advised. I accepted the counsel and stopped using that analogy, with a new understanding that concerned letters would be read and acted on. And that a straight religion professor could say things that I couldn’t.

On another occasion my bishop told me that the Ecclesiastical Clearance Office had recently called him three times to ask about me. After the third call he told them not to call back, that he had already told them I was worthy to work at BYU and he didn’t need to tell them again. A few days later I started sobbing uncontrollably in my car. I was overwhelmed with panic that someone was trying to get me fired. My reaction was so strong and unexpected that I made an appointment with a therapist to talk through what I was experiencing. I reached out to a therapist who also worked at BYU so he would understand the context of my situation. I told him about my sobbing episode and he said it was a stress response to months of fear and hypervigilance. In our second meeting he bluntly told me, “Ben, the truth is that you might get fired. That could actually happen, and the sooner you accept that reality the better you’ll feel.” I nodded my head. He was right. Simply acknowledging that reality did make me feel better, like I had a little bit of control. He also encouraged me to get more information about the calls from the Ecclesiastical Clearance Office. So I did some digging and learned that since I had recently applied for three jobs at BYU, the ECO had called my bishop after each application. The bonfire of terror I had felt was immediately reduced to the low simmer of fear I was growing accustomed to.

He then explained that the Commissioner of Church Education had reached out to the BYU president to express concern about something I had said in my presentation at the BYU Religious Freedom Annual Review. The president then asked this VP to address the concern with me. He reminded me that during the Q&A portion I was asked why so many LGBTQ people leave the Church. As part of my answer I said that some members are excommunicated for marrying same-sex partners. This VP then instructed me not to share this anymore. I said, “But it’s true. The Church does excommunicate some people in same-sex marriages.” He replied, “It might be true, but it's not helpful.”

The meeting lasted for an hour and a half and the VP spoke about 80% of the time. I walked out of his office confused about why I had been reprimanded. This meeting was so different from the thousands of other conversations I had had with colleagues at the university. I walked out of the building feeling like I was a problem that needed to be managed.

Two months later I quit.

The next day my new supervisor approached me. “Ben, we need to talk about what happened yesterday when you hugged that student. Someone from the dean’s office saw that interaction and heard what you said.” My heart sank as I remembered a time at BYU when I was accused of flirting with a male student (which I had not done) and a formal complaint had been written about me. I had just started this job at UVU and it seemed I was already getting in trouble. Then she continued, “The administrator got emotional as she told me about seeing you talk with that student. She told me to thank you for already serving our students, and to let you know that we are so lucky to have you here at UVU.”

I was shocked. This is the story I tell when friends ask me how working at UVU is different than working at BYU. I had been primed to be afraid at BYU and now I didn't have to be afraid.

The truth is that I miss BYU. Working there was my dream come true. It was my home for many years and I thrived there for a long time. My day-to-day life there was wonderful, but it was accompanied by a fear that if I didn’t talk about being gay in the “right” way, I’d get in trouble. And this fear was not irrational.

As I’ve shared these stories with friends, a common response has been, “Well, things were so stressful because you’re a public figure. Being so open in your book, podcast, and presentations brings added scrutiny that wouldn’t have existed if you didn’t share so much.” I think this is true. If I had just not talked about my orientation or shared my lived experiences many of these painful moments would not have happened. But I would have felt a worse kind of pain.

The deeper pain of hiding.

Five months after I was hired at BYU I was invited to participate on a campus wide panel called “Reconciling Faith and Sexuality.” There were only a handful of openly gay employees so I was the only gay person on the panel. The JSB auditorium was filled to capacity as the moderator started the event by reading my bio, including the fun fact I’d included: “Ben still wears his retainers every night.” Not realizing that our mics were already on, I leaned over to my colleague and joked, “Gotta keep something straight.” The whole auditorium heard my comment and laughed. The audience then noticed the startled look of horror on my face, and a second wave of louder laughter filled the room. Many of the faces I saw in the audience had looked tense, unsure, and nervous. Then that moment of levity shifted the feeling in the room. This wasn’t going to be a depressing or prescriptive conversation, but one filled with joy, hope, and authenticity.

The questions from this panel discussion inspired me to start the podcast “Questions from the Closet.” The very podcast that the freshman at UVU later told me changed his life. This moment of openness and story sharing at BYU wasn’t just a moment, but a catalyst that led to more good.

Paul taught that “those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary. And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour…” (1 Cor 12:22-23).

The Body of Christ is only complete when every member is included. And BYU was a place where I always felt valued and included by those who knew me, and sometimes treated with fear and suspicion by those who didn’t.

#ben schilaty #byu #homophobia #queerphobia #queerstake

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