#hope im not bothering you too much
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Someone made a joke about @rusty-courage with a cane on her stream yesterday and I said I'd draw it. Putting the elder in the western winter elders
#please forgive the fact it's shoddy it was done on a moving train without a reference#the train was kinda bumpy today#ramble post#my art#randy's art#I'm not quite done with dissertation i got an extension but i should be done on sunday#in the meanwhile i only feel guiltless drawing on the train or at uni because i cant do homework there#rusty-courage#sorry for the ping rusty jbfsjdhsk#hope im not bothering you too much#i had a blue pen and wanted to add a pop of colour#and i like how it adds to it :]
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hehehehe finally got these done!! Reboot is so fun to draw; I swear drawing him just bursting into laughter immediately made me feel so much better about literally everything 🥰 He has such a pretty smile, especially when it's genuine. I love him being silly and giggly 🥰 I want him to just be able to laugh and be happy .....buuuut at the same time I also want to put him through so many of The Horrors(TM), so maybe my wants shouldn't be trusted XD
As always, Welcome Home belongs to Clown (partycoffin), and Reboot!Wally/the Reboot AU belongs to @bloodrediscream!💖💖
#augh im just#him giggle#sorry he has. melted my brain XD#ohhhhh my heart QwQ#but fr i just#i wanna make him laugh really hard at really dumb jokes#LUCKY FOR ME I HAVE SEVERAL FUNNY THINGS IVE FOUND THAT FIT HIM AND ROSEMARY#SO GUESS WHATS NEXT ON MY BRAIN LIST OF DRAWING THINGS?? >:D#*cackles manaically*#(....stares at my actor au stuff that i really need to work on 😅)#also i really hope im not bothering BloodRed too much 😅#i know i @ them a lot 👉👈 but its because i draw him a lot!!#you gotta understand! hes a Very Pretty Boi (TM)!!#anon's art#welcome home#anon's doodles#welcome home puppet show#welcome home wally#welcome home au#wally darling#welcome home fanart#welcome home arg#reboot wally#reboot!wally#reboot wally au#welcome home reboot au#reboot welcome home au#reboot wally darling#reboot wally fanart#anon rambles in the tags
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quick PSA for any cookie run fans who like my art:
please do not use my past-shadow milk design without permission and especially without credit!!!
my friend just told me about people on tiktok using my blueberry milk cookie design, i went and looked and i found two videos by the same user, one video without credit. please do not do this!!! please ask me first, i know my ask box is closed (ill reopen it after i post this) but my DM's have always been open!!! its a design/character that's become very personal to me, yes i know it's just a concept design for a canon character but it still means a lot to me, and it makes me highly uncomfortable when people do stuff like this.
if you want to use my other art in edits that's okay! but please ask me if you want to use ANY of my designs, not just cookie run, for any reason! this is why i get nervous posting AU designs, because i'm scared stuff like this will happen, and now it has.
and of course PLEASE credit me. why do i even have to say this, it's common courtesy to credit the artists you take art from, but apparently some people don't have enough respect for artists to even do that.
edit: also, just in case i'm being too vague:
fanart is completely fine with me, just please credit me (and tag me because i want to rb it)
also, i'm fine with people taking inspiration from my designs as well. i'm not trying to gatekeep, i just want people to ask me first please.
#side note.. the icing on the cake to me is that this person used my design for 3ldershadow edits like. LOL?#most if not all of my posts w blueberry are vanilla milkshake#i dont even ship 3ldershadow.. in fact i dont ship sm with any character other than pv#thats whats really funny to me about it#but yeah i hope you guys can all be considerate about this for me#its not just blueberry that im cagey about .. my sonic au designs i post sometimes are personal to me too#i posted them on twitter once and it got over 1k likes so i had to delete it just bc i was uncomfortable over it#i made that sideblog so i could stop feeling uncomfortable posting blueberry but this still happens ig#ill try not to let this bother me too much#i know it means something to people other than myself so i dont want to stop posting it but im just upset rn i guess#hope u guys understand#psa#not art#txt
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A comic for my incredibly self-indulgent AU: Chai joins Vandelay for half a day.
Click for less blur
The rest of this dumb joke comic is under the read more
It was in his robot arm
#hi-fi rush#hi fi rush#hfr#hi-fi rush spoilers#kale vandelay#hi fi rush korsica#hi fi rush chai#kale x chai#mainly for the following comment#'I want that defect!' you sure do kale you sure do#i didnt put much thought into the outfit except that chai is disappointed that there isnt any spare sleeve to rip up for his robot arm#i think the least plausible thing in this au is that chai was convinced to do a coffee run#he's bigger than that#i havent bothered making neat looking speech bubbles and text in a long time so hope they dont distract too much#if you've been around my blog for a while you'll see all the two conventions i keep using in my previous works#but i just wanted to draw something fun#im wondering if the many panels images are able to be zoomed into easily? i cant tell with how tumbls is nowadays#'tis mine#im not doing this again my eyes are super tired
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more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw
#everyday im like i wanna draw :] and then i just end up with this thing on the page#i refuse to draw hands holding. because i cannot and im too lazy to figure it out#oh yea a couple of these i havent posted before because theyre lame to me but ill put them here for now#anyways!!#i was gonna say something about a couple of these but i forgot#oh well#pokemon rejuvenation#does she. lose her ribbon in blacksteeple. i forgot#she still has it to me..#to me her c15 hair tie is a torn part of the ribbon#anyways again. yesterday i finally figured out what the rejuvrp is. very cool stuff im so incredibly intrigued by it#i have no idea whats going on! but it looks so cool ill try to read it more later.#oh right again about the rejuvrp thing. the character designs ive seen are so so so cool i want to draw them so bad#i think i have to ask about that first though and there is! no way i am going to do that!!! i do not want to bother them#and i think my heart would explode from the fear of it all before i even typed the message.#that and im very lazy! theres a very good chance i wouldnt even draw it in the first place#anyways unrelated but i think if i get another comment from someone on something i Will Actually Explode.#i see someone said something and it kills me on the daily. what is happening... thank you.. i appreciate it very much...#sorry to whoever read all of that. um. hi youre really cool and i hope you have a good day/night#i think being on twitter has done something to me i have to leave it immediately. anyways back to twitter#wait actually i should go back to playing rejuv. im still in the grove from when i first posted the gym leader melia au. im afraid to leave#also play pokemon rejuvenation no i will not stop saying that everytime i post one of these
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I know this is random but reading your blog and seeing your art made me so motivated I made my 1st animation ever (not counting pixel art ones), after not drawing digitally in months and it looks kinda basic and it isn't colored but I made it and I'm really happy with it so I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for motivating me to make digital art again! I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)
MKJSJWJW HI!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME THATS GREAT!!! Animatics need time and patience so the fact you went straight for it is so cool!!!! I bet it looks lovely!
Hope you have the greatest day/night too!
#I'm gonna go in a bit of a ramble in the tags because this got to me#but this legit means the entire world to me#i had ups and downs and good and bad times so its something i even forgot about for a while#but all i ever wanted was to make silly things and have those silly things be of help to someone#that has always been like. my main objective and reason as an artist other than liking to draw#i always hear about the potential i got to helping out in the world and yada yada and i decided i wanted to make it in the unconventional-#and small ways. i wanted to make people happy. entertain them when they are going through something. inspire to see things in a better light#its stupid and simple and something anyone can do but it was a wish of mine#hearing i actually got to do that gives me hope this can actually work out so thank you so much for bothering on telling me this#for a while i forgot the little things mattered too. but you helped me remember it#I've had people do art about ideas i had. i had people laughing with an art i did. i forgot those things meant the world all the same#and i forgot those little things are what had gotten me out of depression in the first place lmao#it helped once so i guess it can help out twice#thank you for telling me and im happy i helped somehow!! i'd love to see it! but either way wooooo!!! you make that art#well this was a cringe ramble lmao#might delete later#(the ramble. the ask im putting in my wall)#but yeah this is nice :]#ask#anon
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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I'm still thinking about this fucked up BBQ Chicken bacon pizza we got from Papa John's like two years ago. So egregious I've held a grudge against Papa John ever since.
So first, there's so much fucking barbecue sauce on the thing that in some places, its completely drowning out all the other flavors. You can see it pooling out from underneath the cheese in some areas. By the end i had resorted to lifting up the cheese layer and scraping off the excess sauce, but it was still too much.
Which brings us to the second point, the elephant on the pizza. I do not think this is standard for Papa John's. I have never seen them do this before, nor since (since i've never been back) but i would like to direct your attention to the big spiral of bbq sauce on top. Was there not enough sauce for you already??? Did you need to add more sauce?
#i hope the highest fucking teenager in the world made this thing thats the only way i can justify its existence#i highly recommend bbq chicken bacon pizza just maybe dont get it from daddy johnathan's#its bbq sauce instead of pizza sauce. if you love onions throw some onions on there too if not please do not do that#but i love onions i think this pizza had onions which makes the betrayal so much worse#i find myself thinking about this abomination so often i had to look it up on my bfs twitter so i could see it again#im not actually bothered btw me and my bf just love to bring up 'that fucked up pizza we had' and it always makes me laugh#also this used to be the dramatic walls of text website. remember the lisa frank shampoo? i never evolved from that post style#theres so much sauce you can see it half way up the crust
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I really tried to not bother you with this but ( I could't control myself anymore) as a french girl how did you feel about Gojira on the Olympics? And on a scale of 5 how irritating is it to be in Paris during the games? Because I'm imagining parisians huffing and puffing over their croissants daily because of it.
Hey Nonnie 🧡
You are NOT bothering me at all!! Not in the slightest! I woke up to your ask and it made me smile and chuckle, thank you 🧡
Of course I can only talk for myself, but everyone I talked to about it felt insanely proud about Gojira's performance!!! Even amongst those of my friends or coworkers who are not into metal, and didn't know the band before its opening ceremony performance, everyone was THRILLED and thought it was pretty neat! Which says a lot about how the people around me feel about the French Revolution, heehee: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS 😌
Unfortunately, we still have royalists (and even Napoleon partisans, if you can believe this shit). Those were NOT pleased, social media demonstrated. Given the current political divide of our country, the fact that these people got pissed gave Gojira's number some extra nice flavour.
Deep down, it makes me a little sad that it triggered such violent reactions from the conservative crowds. I was 10 in 1989, when the country celebrated the Revolution's bicentennial. I wasn't living in Paris back then (Paris and the rest of France are two different things. I say that without any judgement, anyone will tell you so. Also, I feel 99% Parisian but I grew up in the South of France, where my family still lives), and what I remember is a year of happy, uniting celebrations. But we didn't have social media back then.
I'm sorry I'm so chatty, I'll try wrapping it up. Being in Paris right now is exactly the opposite of what I expected: not irritating AT ALL! The city is virtually empty. Everyone is either gone or attending the games. Don't get me wrong, it has been. A lot. The city was under construction work for the best part of the past 3/4 years, so Parisians did spend this whole time huffing and puffing over their croissants daily because of it, as you so very accurately put it, only to rally the minute the opening ceremony started (which is such a French reaction: complain first, rally later). We are very proud of the way Paris was pictured. I cannot stress that enough. Plus France won so many more medals than usual, and at the end of the day, we are a very chauvinistic people ("chauvin" in French means "proud of one's country", without the negative connotation that the word "chauvinistic" can have in English).
I'll end this essay (I'm so sorry, I don't know concision) with this poster I saw the other day. It's a pun on "Flamme Olympique" (Olympic Flame) and "Flemme Olympique (Olympic laziness ehehehe)
#IM SORRY THIS ANSWER IS SO LONG NONNIE#thank you for your ask 🥰🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡#please never hesisate to send in an ask#about anything!!#I mean yes. you can hesitate because I talk too much. I can understand that.#but you’ll never bother me 🧡🧡🧡#I hope you’re having a nice day!
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Quality got shot bc the file was too big ;-; but hopefully it's still acceptable~ Also I wasn't actually sick for this, but I gave the coughing an attempt~
C/huuya comes to his office in the morning to find a disturbance awaiting his arrival. Figures he would show up when C/huuya has a cold.
Been working on this for awhile, and want to dedicate/gift it to @onetrickponi since their amazing wavs inspired me to start doing my own~ since I began they made me a BEAUTIFUL U/ndertaker sketch that lives in my head, so consider this thanks for that too!! (It's not nearly as amazing, but maybe you can get a hint of enjoyment anyways~)
#waterfallwav#wavs are so fun to me but apppaaarently almost 10 minutes was a biiit too much#Also not suuuuper thrilled with how their voices came out#but first tries and all that! hopefully it'll be an alright contribution~!#I had fun making/writing it anyways~~#sucks bout the quality#but im hopeful it doesnt take away from the wav TOO much#anyways thank you so much to anyone who bothers to listen#and extra special thanks to anyone who may leave a comment or tag!! i always read them all~~#b/sd#s/oukoku#c/huuya#d/azai#aaaaaaand now I'm off to sleep~
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you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.
but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.
at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...
but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.
#tales from diana#im sorry how much dramatic backstory that anecdote required#that one girl and her friend are still some of the most baffling pieces of that story to me#like i hate to say it but i was not shocked that all but like two of those guys really liked or respected me at all#none of them seemed to like any of the other girls in the friend group#they just barely seemed to tolerate their friends' girlfriends. bc they had to#and some of those guys didn't even seem to like or respect their girlfriends#both of those girls who bullied me were some of 'the girlfriends' and i have to be honest. i wouldnt wanna be 'the girlfriend' there#neither of them are still w their then-boyfriends and im pretty sure for both of them it ended awfully#idk what happened to the really particularly aggressive one who thought kaily said 'burn in hell'#but for some reason like 6 months later when she and her bf broke up she unfriended me on fb#i had never unfriended her in case she wanted to apologize at any point (i had hope... 20 year old nonsense again i was really naive)#but then yeah another 6 months later she and the other girlfriend (still in a relationship at that time) just blew up at me and some others#for like no reason. just bc we all stayed friends... w each other#like i promise u i never went out of my way to bother these girls in any way. directly or indirectly. they just had to say#'its been a year and i still hate you guys' like why. we were literally all adults. we didnt go to school together we never saw each other#we were all just frankly moving on but i guess they were not over it#the other girl whose relationship lasted longer had maybe the worse boyfriend? definitely the worse breakup#he abandoned her for another woman and kicked her out of their living space#she was literally begging on social media for help#and again that guy was a monster who did not seem to really love her. he's married to the other woman now#they have a kid together#idk where either of those girls are now bc basically all their friends abandoned them#feels like if they had chosen their allies better way back when we were 20-21 itd have been different#which is not to blame them. but like. i would not have let that happen to my friends#but the fact that anyone stood up for me when i was being bullied was 'starting drama'#and the fact that they all let their problems pile up until their lives are destroyed? well i guess thats just being civilized and mature#sorry if this is just sounding incredibly judgmental bc i dont think they deserve their situations at all#but i dont think their choices didnt play some role in their being eventually discarded by rotten fuckin men#they were pretty rotten to me too. poor things...
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DATING IS SO HARD WTF
#vent to follow in the tags lmao#like. what????#people!!! chill the fuck out!!#i had some dude unmatch with me bc i didn’t respond to him YESTERDAY#and like it’s not that big of a deal we’d only just matched but like?? patience is a fucking virtue?? and i have a life?#he was all like come back :((( then two minutes later he was like ok sorry for bothering you bye and then LEFT#like. fine if you do that but the message?? what??#anyway it came at a bad time bc. a bitch is already in crisis rn#cause i kinda feel like my irl friends hate me for some reason and i already feel bad that i’ve been so busy i’ve not been able to#talk to them that much#and i was supposed to go on a trip with my friend but that’s been postponed (not her fault or mine)#and my car still won’t start. we tried to jump it today and it didn’t do anything#anyway i’m like rapid cycling through major emotions and it’s like mimi chill the fuck out#and listening to way too much phoebe bridgers i know the end#also i’m in crisis bc i’ve made up with like. my oldest friend who used to have a crush on me and when i told him i preferred girls he like#stopped talking to me for a while#that was years ago and now we’re slowly becoming friends again but i feel so much guilt over it for no reason#and i get into avoidant episodes as a coping mechanism and like. i feel like im going into one atp#okay okay vent over im okay lmaoo#sorry folks hope your days going better than mine <3#。・:*˚:✧。 mimi speaks!
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don’t get too discouraged, love 💕 if you find yourself feeling like there’s nobody out there, just remember that dating apps aren’t reality. these companies make money hand over fist in keeping you from finding anyone good
oh my god this is so sweet?? i really appreciate the thought!
but im not really discouraged, dating has never been a high priority for me, like Ever. lmao. all my relationships were what i consider to be quite natural and not something i ever actively sought out. i only decided to try to try it out in a more deliberate manner bc i recently moved states and i work from home so its difficult to meet new people in any sort of capacity and i thought i might go a little crazy without some new human interaction
i dont think i'll stick with it though lmao, i'm too demi for most of the people who use apps i feel like? i don't like feeling someone out with the sole intention of deciding if i wanna date them? it feels weird and artificial
#it especially feels weird when a lot of the messages i get dont even actually have messages attached??#like bro i gave you so much to work with and you cant even be bothered with engaging with me as a person#just liking a picture to 'match' and thinking thats good?#either youre too boring to be able to talk to or you dont care about what i have to say and only like how i look??#like thats how it comes off#and i do not have time for that nonsense lmao#but youre sooooo right about the apps just wanting to make their money and not actually try to help people who wanna find real connections#even the free ones have so many things in place to keep you from being able to properly engage with people bc they want you to pay for bett#pay for better features#its fucked up to prey on people who are just looking for human connection#anyway im probably gonna bail on the idea lmaooo#there are some cool places nearby i should just check out and maybe ill stumble into some cool local friends that way#but also im hoping to move back to my home state in another year or two anyway#i miss iiiiiiiit#and my friends lmao#okay i got suuuuuper rambly again (sorry lmao)#but i do rly rly appreciate the thought anon!!! youre so sweet! <3#melody answers
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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡
dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)
#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients#i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE#i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all#do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR#i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like#i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts#too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it#oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys#or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts#quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose#my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags#tricule rant#i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls#like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff#i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened#its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations#anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic#even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES#anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real#and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages#the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them#everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust#he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M#i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me#i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation#and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY#it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today
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feeling like such a loser lately and like is it the winter or is the introversion or is it the disability???
#for a while now its been so hard for me to discern if social stuff is hard because im ND or because im an introvert#theoretically i love parties but im horrible at them on my own#i dont know what to say or how to start conversations#i desperately want to mingle and talk to people and have a god time but idk how to start that interaction#esp because i dont love talking about my work/home life (bc it makes me feel like a loser!) so i dont want to ask people about their work#in case they reciprocate and ask me about mine#also the masking#the masking is exhausting#!#the ND masking not covid masking!!#im afraid ill have nothing to add to a conversation#im afraid when i do speak up that ill ramble about something no one cares about or talk fkr too long or being jn skmething that feels like#non sequitur and ill watch peoples eyes glaze over as they scan the room for others to talk with#i have no social anxiety about like asking for help or directions or “hey where did you get that pizza it smells so good”#or “omg i love your outfit!!!”#but in a room full of people who sort of know each ither#or like p much any space where there are clumps of people talking and im not in any of them?#i feel like a bother and incompetent#i crawled out from under my rock for my only social engagement this month and theyre on their 3rd of the day and loving it#hoping eventually i wont feel the need tk mask so much. i know that makes things so much harder#=
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can someone explain something to me? how can you be interested in wildlife and nature in general and also only experience pessimism regarding Earth's future? if you care for creatures, ecosystems, natural beauty, then is there any option but to fight and hope for their best outcome?
I just ... maybe I've consumed too much pop sci and positive speculative fiction re:climate change, maybe i am too comfortable with the idea of change not being bad in and of itself. Of course I think oil companies are bad and need to close up shop asap, and of course there is and will be a lot of ugliness in the world. there will be species we lose due to climate change, and there will be death in general. the entire economic system will need to change, and it will be rough.
we need to mitigate loss of life and habitat and focus on sustainable resource use strategies. but without hope that any mitigation is possible, how can you claim to care about the natural world at all? ecosystems are pretty good at adapting. humans can adapt pretty well too.
it just makes me sad that people who are intelligent and claim to care about the Earth can simultaneously shrug their shoulders and say "yep, it's going to shit". I used to think this way to some extent, but maybe this is part of that 'hope/optimism takes maturity' thing. anyway, i just found my recent conversation with a 'pessimist' disconcerting. thinking that way is not useful or personally fulfilling, even though I know it can be easy to fall into it. there already is and there will continue to be much to grieve regarding the state of the natural world and human society, but if the majority of us believe there is no reason to fight for our planet's future, then that degrades the quality of life in that future even further.
#this post was brought to you courtesy of The Book of Hope and Ministry for the Future#making a longer post bc i was thinking about it too much from the previous post#thank the laurd#climate change#nature#i wish the frickin renewables companies would hire me though like I AM TRYING TO BE ON YOUR SIDE and they dont even bother to interview me#when i have some financial stability im gonna do more that job market is tough as
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