#hope everybody had a happy

[alicewhimzy]

Non-binary snail! 💛🤍💜🖤

I gave them hair. I thought it would be cute.

For real though, I didn't know that a lot of land snails species are hermaphroditic. Cool.

I don't care if pride month is over. I ain't no bigwig corporation with a dead coral reef for a heart. I'll still make and post PRIDE! stuff.

[datcravat]

I LOVE KAY

[starflungwaddledee]

alas, it seems the christmas mystery shall remain unsolved 🎁 happy holidays!

[nedeii]

[vaunted-and-vilified]

⋆ Let's Take a Walk, Gang! ⋆

[renatogpadilla]

What's In A Name.

Lux had to stop herself from lighting up.

"Jinx... Jinx..." She tried the name out in her mouth. It felt good! She looked like a 'Jinx'! Short, sweet (well, maybe 'sweet' wasn't the right word) and scrappy! "Jinx!"

She put her entire accent into that last one.

Jinx wondered how it was possible to roll the letter 'J'. She also wondered if she was as red as she felt hearing her say her name so much with such... Joy? Yeah, that must have been it... She wasn't used to that.

"Okay, glad you like it." She was REALLY trying to hide that smile, she was! "And... I appreciate that you don't blame me for... Who I was then."

"Never."

Alright... Where was she... Ah, right. Vi.

"My sister eventually found me..." She continued, tapping her temple with a brass middle finger. Had Lux noticed that before? "And I wasn't really in the best place up here. So imagine my face when she rolls up with Piltie girlfriend of all things."

Lux's hands shot up to her mouth. "No!"

"Yeah, I did NOT take that well..." She wasn't as much ashamed of how much she'd been mad at Vi as she was embarrassed of how little control she'd had over it. "Apparently, they'd been trying to find some dangerous psychopath with ties to Silco that had been making the criminal underworld get a little too bold for comfort... Imagine her face when it turned out to be her baby sister." Now that Jinx had time to really think about it, from Vi's point of view, their entire dynamic had been exceedingly fucked up.

"Anyways, things escalated pretty quickly after that. She'd grown to love her Piltie 'Cupcake' so much I thought she was replacing me... I got ready to take care of that issue myself when I found myself on the bridge between the two cities. And on the other side? Who else but Ekko? All grown up and ready to rock. my. shit."

Lux gasped. Audibly. Jinx could tell she was holding in a squeal. Childhood friends to enemies to lovers? Class-defying sapphic romance? Criminal underworld political drama?! This story had it all! Lux had never been so invested in anything in her life!

"Lemme tell you, that fight was a wake-up call. Boy Saviour had HANDS! I'd never seen anyone dodge like that either... This was before I got my powers so he was a real threat! But when he had me pinned to the ground, hand on my neck... put your eyebrows down, Lux they're gonna hit my roof, it wasn't like that! But... something stopped him. He hesitated. For a moment, he wasn't Ekko the Firelight and I wasn't Jinx the criminal... I think... He saw Powder in my eyes then. Whatever was left of her and he couldn't bring himself to kill me." She would never forget the look on his face. "I had... Other priorities. And a tricked-out grenade. I pulled the pin and waited..."

Lux softened again, and it was at this point that Jinx realized that she had tried to blow herself up a lot along with her enemies back then. Like, every other fight she'd tried to take herself out, even when she had Isha... Damn, she had NOT been okay in the slightest.

"Well, I know he made it out," said Lux, she had to make the lights dim a bit. When had she made them that bright? "So... How did you...?"

"Same way anyone in Zaun made it out of anything back then. Ekko pushed us out of the way. Saved us both."

Lux was starting to idolize this boy she'd never met. I mean, kid makes it growing up in Zaun, starts a freedom fighter gang and then pulls Jinx?! AFTER that big fight on the bridge?! 'Boy Saviour' sounded right! She HAD to meet this absolute hero someday! She hoped, whenever her witch left for home (ouch) maybe she could bring her friends to visit someday... Or, perhaps very selfishly, that she could tag along.

"Anyways, next thing I know I'm strapped to a chair. Silco had taken me to this crackpot scientist he knew. Brilliant man, but Gods he was messed up! Like, he had issues and that's coming from me! Just straight up creepy... Anyhow, he pumped me full of drugs until I got better... And I got superpowers out of it, so that was a plus!"

"I'd been meaning to ask about that... We've been running tests on me for weeks but what exactly is it you can do?"

Ooh, a chance to flex? Don't mind me! "I call it 'Chemhead Strength'! On command!"

"Isn't that a derogatory term...?"

Jinx walked over to Pow-Pow on the ground and lifted it with a single hand. "You tell me, Flashlight!" Her eyes glowed purple when she used her powers... Lux thought it was absolutely sick. And hey! There's something we have in common!

"Strength was just one part of the deal!" She said, putting the gatling gun down gently next to Fishbones. A flash of purple later she was sitting next to Lux again, like she'd never moved at all. Lux hadn't even seen her cross the room! "Speed's only good for short bursts, though. Little hops and dashes here and there. I can't exactly run from here to Piltover-Zaun in the blink of an eye, but I can cross a room no problem." She said it as non-chalantly as she could. She was suddenly feeling herself quite a bit.

"Last but not least came endurance. I speak from experience when I say you could put me through a brick wall and I'd walk it off!" She was actually pretty proud of that one. It had come in handy more than she'd like to admit...

"That's so...! Wait. From experience?"

"Yeah, you can thank my sister for that. I'm getting there." She was so excited getting to show off that she'd momentarily forgotten where her story took her next... She sunk herself into the couch. "You were right, you know? The person I had been up until getting strapped to that chair was the result of circumstance. A lost little girl who hadn't had the power or the nerve to right her wrongs. To work on herself. Who had been too clouded by her own grief and rage to see it... And I thank you for letting me understand that." Though a part of her still didn't fully believe it.

"You are so very welcome, friend." Lux was feeling herself now too.

"Having said that..." She steeled herself for this one. "Who I was after that, was all me. That I can't deny. That I won't deny. I did some messed up things, and I won't pretend I didn't. So... If you still want to hear it... know that that was MY choice. Alright?"

Lux nodded her head again. This felt heavy. She took a deep breath as discreetly as she could.

"Remember." Jinx said, straightening on the couch. "You wanted this."

"And I still do. If you feel like it."

"I think I just might, Flashlight."

She told her everything.

Kidnapping Caitlyn in the shower...

"You saw your sister's girlfriend naked before she did?" Lux mostly asked to distract herself from how terrifying the thought of getting kidnapped naked by a Jinx high off her mind would be. Nope! Just shoot me, thank you very much!

"Yeah, I never gave her enough shit for that... I'll say this, though: I may hate the bitch, but she's fine as fuck for Piltie swine. Gotta give my sis props on bagging that, but you didn't get that from me!"

The tea party...

"I didn't know what was going on... I just heard them, all of them at once... Some insane combo of schizophrenia and all the chems in my system telling me to shoot... Anything. I fired on Vi and Caitlyn... I didn't hit Vi and Caitlyn." Her voice was so small saying this, Lux wanted to hug her again, but too many in one night would probably lose its effect... She'd try it anyway later. For now, let her get this out, just like she'd needed to vent about Sylas. Jinx was fighting her demons and she was proud to stand by her side while she did.

"Silco bled out in my arms... riddled with holes, straight from his d-daughter's hands... And he still didn't blame me..." The words rang in her head again, whether a twisted reflection of Fiddlesticks' vision or exactly what had happened, she couldn't tell. You're perfect just the way you are...

She needed a moment after that. She couldn't tell if Lux had grabbed her hand or if she had grabbed hers. It didn't matter, she supposed.

She may not have had tears left tonight, but her eyes still hurt.

"Still here, Jinx." Lux said, squeezing the hand a bit. To kill your own father... Twice! And one that loved you regardless of who or what you were, at that... Lux couldn't imagine the pain. The grief. This girl was made of iron.

Jinx simply nodded her head in acknowledgment.

"What I did next took the cake, though." She couldn't help but glance at Fishbones. "The absolute finest crash-out Zaun ever spawned..."

The explosion of the Council...

Lux was starting to see why Jinx thought she might be... apprehensive about her past.

Here's a girl from nothing, who was seen as a menace (and at her worst moments, was a menace), who the downtrodden minority saw as a symbol of hope and rebellion, as a light in the dark! And she had now effectively killed a large number of the people in charge of the pseudo-regime they were all rebelling against.

Jinx had, Lux realized to her nausea, unintentionally become everything Sylas wanted to be by complete accident.

Maybe her new friend was afraid that Lux would shun her because of that. To tell the whole truth to herself, there was a knot in her stomach thinking of the parallels between this reclusive not-a-witch and the rebel very-much-a-mage... But Lux, maybe due to foolishness or hope or clarity or experience or some weird mixture of all of the above, realized that there was one key difference between the two: While both Jinx and Sylas had grown up in environments that hated who and what they were, Jinx had had people (criminals and villains, sure, but people nonetheless) that had let her be herself despite the horror and the glares. Silco had been the father she'd needed, and now, without him, she'd gone off the rails and done something the whole of Zaun would live to regret...

Lux realized that Sylas was Jinx, made alone. If all she'd known had been that hate, that grief, she wouldn't be the kooky friend living in the woods she'd come to care for. She'd be a monster, dark and terrifying, that even her light couldn't save from her spite at herself and the world.

And while Jinx had reacted to the pain, Sylas had chosen to inflict it... But then again, Jinx hadn't been kept in isolation for decades just for being herself and existing... Ugh, the whole comparison was so complicated!

A very small part of Lux began to pity Sylas. Oh, who he could have been, if he wasn't alone... Best not to dwell on that... For her own sake.

Jinx then told her of the following weeks... And how she'd met a lovely little street urchin named Isha. The little mute girl had come into her life and just... Decided to stay. No judgement, no hatred... Just love. She was everything she'd needed at the time. Well, her and her other friend (Frenemy? Co-worker? Aquaintence? Second surrogate mother to her child?) Sevika, who hadn't allowed her to be alone, whether intentionally or not. The two apparently hadn't seen eye to eye a lot over the years, but now that Silco was gone, they got to grieve together, and while they still came to blows on occasion, they became each other's rock and bonded over their shared love of little Isha...

Lux found the thought of her friend raising a scrappy child the cutest thing she could imagine. Just her and her little rascal playing games, building little inventions (possibly of mass destruction, but she wouldn't think about that), getting into trouble and being adorable together was enough for Lux to feel her heart grow a size... But she knew how it would end. She knew, after a while it would come to tragedy. So she enjoyed Jinx's smile and joy as she recounted how they used to get beetles to fight and pretended it was this huge spectacle for all to see... But it was just for them. Two orphans that found each other at the bottom of the barrel and made each other's words a better place.

It was the purest love that Jinx had ever known.

Her laughter filled the hut and for a moment her smile was brighter than Lux could ever hope to glow.

Then she told her of how things evolved... How she'd fought Vi and Caitlyn inside the city's guts. How she'd been put through that concrete wall. How Caitlyn had blown off her finger. How Isha had saved her... How she'd become the symbol of revolution for the entirety of Zaun, and how she'd gone into hiding for the next seven months, hearing how people with blue hair had started taking a stand against the Noxians flooding their streets... Oh, yeah! The Noxians! That whole thing also happened!

It really told Lux something about how incredibly messed up the situation was that the actual Empire of Noxus was involved in this tale and she hadn't heard about it until this point. What do you MEAN the greatest military force in the world taking over your city was a side-plot?!

"Yeah, this big unga bitch named Ambessa brought them along. I never really knew what it was she wanted, but it became a problem."

Lux did a double-take. "...Ambessa Medarda? 'THE WOLF', AMBESSA MEDARDA?! THAT AMBESSA?!?!"

"That's the bitch!" Jinx said it like she had no stake in that at all. "Why? Were you a fan of something?"

Now it was Lux that braced herself.

"The Noxians are Demacia's greatest foes! Once every two months almost on the dot they come to our borders trying to conquer us and make us part of that barbaric coalition they call an empire, and you mean to tell me they just showed up one day, with AMBESSA MEDARDA herself and you just... what, lived?! Told her 'No thanks, madame! We do not want to be colonized today! Please leave!' and it just... worked?!"

"Well, to be fair, I only saw the bitch like once. She passed by me when I was breaking into prison..."

"Yeah, and you LIVED! How the fu- wait, did you say you broke into prison...?"

Ah, yes... Isha. "Okay, so... As I became the symbol of a revolution, the most wanted woman in two cities and now one middle finger lighter, it turned out little Isha had been rilling people up. I didn't want to be a symbol, or lead the revolution or anything... I didn't even KNOW there was a revolution for most of it! But Isha... She wanted to do something with it. She wanted to actually inspire people to rise up! So she dressed up as me when I wasn't looking and started going to rallies and meetups, instigating and causing riots in the name of standing up to anyone that would threaten the people of Zaun. Noxians included..."

She continued to tell Lux about how little Isha had been taken during a rally and she and Sevika had gone in to save her... And what had happened inside.

To say Lux was surprised at the Vander fight and reveal was an understatement. Yeah, Jinx had been there. Finding out her father was alive, and more than that, that he'd been turned into a monster was a moment she'd never forget... And naturally, now that her father was back in the picture, it was time to get her sister, who apparently had quit her job back when Caitlyn had shot her middle finger off.

"Lemme tell you, that breakup got her BAD." She told Lux. "She'd been doing underground fights to drown out her pain for seven months and dyed her hair black... So when I found her, she was passed out in her apartment after a night of fighting. Needless to say, she didn't exactly react well to me popping up in her room."

The explanation of the next few hours was... Emotional, to say the least. Lux heard, little by little, as Jinx recounted spending time with her sister, bickering, fighting... bantering. How they found a note their father had left, and how it might have changed things if it had ever been found... How they found Vander again, changed and transfigured into something almost unrecognizable, and how he realized who they were... How for a brief, beautiful time, despite everything, the sisters were and had a family again.

What happened next was hard to hear...

It wasn't the part about the mystery cult leader mage that turned chemheads into robots offering to help their father (though that did catch Lux's attention. Apparently Jinx called him a 'Metal Fortune Cookie'), or the part where Caitlyn came back and turned on Ambessa within about a minute of seeing Violet again (Jinx's sister must have been really something else if she had her ex that whipped after seven months absent). No...

It was the part where the Noxians showed up and somebody killed the cult leader mage, corrupting his connection with all the people he'd helped and causing them to forget themselves... including the now-mindless monster that was Vi and Jinx's father...

How one moment they were a family, holding each other past the pain of a life of strife none of them deserved, and the next, her father was gone, lashing out at whatever moved, his daughters included, wild and in pain, with Noxians on all sides...

It had been little Isha that had known what to do.

The same thing her mama had done so many years ago. That same haunting mistake that had kick-started everything...

And Lux held her through the whole thing.

She had no more tears. She couldn't cry anymore tonight.

For this, she wished she had tears.

Lux killed most of the lights. She left one, small and unimposing, changing from blue to pink, blue to pink, blue to pink... A perfect little candle for her friend's perfect little girl. Jinx thought it was wonderful.

Gods know how long they held each other, but the sun hadn't come up yet, so it was still somewhere deep in the early hours.

"After that, all hell broke loose." She said. She had some mixed feelings about this next part. "The Noxians were everywhere, Cookie - sorry, Viktor- got resuscitated by some insane mix of chems and magic and lost himself as well somewhere in the process. And as if that wasn't enough, he brought the corpse of my dad back to life as a bloodthirsty monster to use in his uprising. Oh, yeah. He kinda gave up on the whole 'help thy neighbor' thing and decided to turn everyone into mindless robots, so we had THAT 'Glorious Evolution' to deal with... Well, the others did. I... I had other plans." Home stretch, Jinx, you're almost there.

"I tried my best to make peace with my sister and then..."

Lux just knew she wasn't going to like what happened next...

"Well, then I remembered that the only way to break a cycle of suffering was to step out of it. To... To remove yourself from it." She put her arm around Lux a little tighter. Lux didn't mind at all. "So I went home. To The Last Drop. Had a whole meltdown, cut my braids off, set the place on fire... And while it burnt I went down to my workshop and made one last little gadget. One just for me. A little monkey bomb. Felt fitting, you know? To... to end it... to end me with it. So I stepped to the nearest ledge and took a deep breath..."

"Oh, Jinx..." Lux didn't have the words. But a part of her understood. There were days (not many, and not often, but there were days) though she would never admit it, when things got so bad... when the pressure of hiding who and what she was became so unbearably crushing that she had eyed her bottle of Petricide Potion a little too longingly...

But the weight of this moment, she couldn't have imagined if she'd tried. And for her friend, she tried.

"It was Ekko that saved my life."

Absolute fucking hero, Lux thought. Whenever she met him (and now she WOULD meet him!) she owed him a drink.

"He came in, at the nick of time, sweating like he'd run a marathon and talked me down from blowing us both up... He... He just sat with me. Just... Let me get it out. No judgement, no fight, no snarky remark, just... time. Time enough to tell me... Well, it sounded ridiculous, but I couldn't help but listen, you know? He said that in the time since I lost my finger he'd been stuck on this other version of the world. Apparently, he and Jayce and a Yordle professor from Piltover just happened to be messing with this huge magical reactor at the same time and ended up stranded in another reality."

"And the Noxians were the side-plot?"

"Yeah, I still don't fully get it myself. But... he told me about this other life. This other world where nothing bad happened after the heist... Other than Vi not making it out, but that's not the point. He told me of this other Jinx... One that never stopped being Powder. For a second I thought he was gonna rub it in my face. 'Look what you could have been!' or 'She was so much better than you!' but... He didn't. Hell, he saw the good in her and told me that all that mattered is that that was somewhere in me too. He didn't try to change me. Just... show me I could do good with who I was. That I wasn't broken. That I still had time to figure out a way to make myself work... To make us work... if I wanted it. And I wanted it, Lux. I really REALLY did. And that he would be there every step of the way..."

No romance novel Lux had ever read (and there had been quite a few) could ever come close to that. Gods above, he gave up the perfect life for her!

"You'll... umm..." Jinx cleared her throat. Now she knew she was all red. "You'll have to forgive me for not going into detail about how the next few hours went."

"Oh, worry not, mon chère." Said Lux, not even trying to hide her playful grin. "I've always been told I have an incredibly active imagination and I'm more than happy to put it to good use!"

Jinx smacked her in the arm and chuckled. What a rollercoaster tonight had been!

"Anyway, after a few hours of making new gear, changing our looks and making up-"

"And out!"

"-WE managed to convince Zaun to join the fight against the Noxians on the side of Piltover. Brought the whole thing together for the first time since... I don't even know how long! Also made this huge flying machine to get us there. I think it's the best entrance I've ever pulled, if I'm being honest! Colors and bullets flying everywhere... Noxians and robot-people getting knocked every which way... Lux, I think it's the closest I've come to making actual magic happen. Then Ekko took off to help out in the fight..." Her tone changed for what must have been the 10th time tonight. "I heard he made it out, but..."

"Was he okay...?"

"I don't know... I never saw him again."

Lux was genuinely speechless.

"I joined up with Vi and got jumped by what was left of dad... We fought. As hard as we could. We... tried to get him back to us. To talk, but he wouldn't listen. Like there was nothing left to listen... Except there must have been, in the end..."

This was the last of it... Just get this out and you're free.

"He grabbed me, and I let myself fall into the bowels of the city with him. I pulled out the monkey bomb and got ready to blow us both to hell, but... at the last second, he... softened. One last act as my dad, I guess. His claws relaxed around me and I got the smallest opening possible to dash away. I left the bomb to go off with him and jumped into an old ventilation duct on the way down as the colors exploded around us... And after that... I was gone."

Jinx felt herself relax, for the first time in... probably months. Someone knew now. The whole thing, beginning to end, and she was still here.

"Remember when I said the only way to break a cycle is to remove yourself from it? Well, that's what I did. My sister would never move on if I stayed in her life, and Caitlyn only left me alone at the time because she loved my sister more than she hated me, which side-note: I blew up her MOM after the tea party, kinda skimmed over that before, so Vi must've had her on a leash! But she'd have to go after me again, if I showed my face... And Ekko? He'd find a way to kill himself for me at the first sign of danger... Better to leave him sad but alive. I lo-... I care for him too much to curse him with me. To give him that chance to play hero one too many times. Did keep his hoodie, though. That's for me... So I stowed away on a blimp (always wanted to ride one of those things, by the way) and flew wherever people wouldn't look for me. Where the name 'Jinx' wasn't on everyone's mouth... Where I could disappear into the dark, and curse the ones I loved no more..." And for a while, she thought, it had worked.

"Just your luck a Mage comes knocking on your door."

"Yes. Luck." Jinx admitted. She allowed herself to smile. "The best luck. And not to get sappy but... I'm really glad you did, Lux."

"Well why would we get sappy now?" The glowy Demacian girl quipped, and Jinx knew she'd made a friend for life.

"Anyway, that's me!" She said, standing from the couch she had practically fused with over the last... Hour? Or two? Meh, whatever. "You wanna take the bed? It's not much of a bed, but you're not sleeping on the couch after sitting through all of THAT."

Lux hadn't even thought about how she was going to spend the night here until this exact moment.

"Oh, no! I couldn't! I wouldn't want to impose..."

"Girl, I told you I was a wanted terrorist and you hugged me so hard you provided mood lighting. You're taking the bed."

"I-" She sputtered, but Jinx practically lifted her off the couch and started dragging her to her ramshackle little room. She really was deceptively strong.

As Jinx unceremoniously carried her through the door at the back of the hut, Lux got her first look at her friend's room. A big, thatch bed and a couple of hand carved drawers (wow, she'd had a LOT of free time on her hands!), a big window to the outside with the floppiest curtains Lux had ever seen, a little shelf over at the side of the wall with a bunch of little trinkets of her own making, a little mini-workbench for Zapper, Lux presumed, and a standing mirror in a corner of the room in front of the bed.

Jinx dropped her on the bed like an unruly kitten.

"Jinx, I can't. Noble or not, I'm a soldier! I could sleep on the floor! It's no problem, really!" She was just making excuses now.

"You are NOT sleeping on the floor!" Jinx went, taking off Lux's boots and gently (at least she thought it was gentle... she was moving a lot!) tucked her in. Which implied holding her down on the bed and just dropping a big blanket on her. "You are my guest and my friend and I'll be damned if I let you treat yourself like that in my house!"

"But it's your bed! Where are you gonna sleep?!"

"Uh, couch? I was already sinking into it before! Never let it be said I'm not a good host!"

"That doesn't feel right." Lux protested. Even if she was already snug as a bug in a rug.

"Well, we're not gonna cuddle. Buy me dinner first!" Jinx jested. She thought she was being funny. She clearly didn't know who she was dealing with.

So she almost jumped out of her skin when Lux answered with "Deal!"

...

"Um... Excuse me?"

"Dinner! Or lunch, or whatever! Because you know what, Jinx?" Lux sat up and spoke with authority, trying to hide how incredibly red she was at the moment and failing miserably. She'd just answered out of reflex! And she didn't think of Jinx like that... though she had to admit she enjoyed being carried juuuuust a little bit too much. "We went through something horrible tonight. And it was so bad you told me your whole life story! And on top of that, we have both been through a lot! Each of us has dealt with Noxians and a revolution! Hell, I'm still dealing with mine! So we're taking tomorrow off! As soon as my shift is over at midday, I'm going to make an excuse and I'm coming to get you, and I'm going to show you what Demacia is all about! Outside of the mageism, the swords and shields, the politics... You let me into your home, Firework, so now you gotta let me show you mine!"

Jinx slowly realized how dangerous letting Lux call her 'Firework' had really been. She was a bit overwhelmed at all the aggressive kindness. "Look, that sounds wonderful and all, but I haven't gotten to the cities for a reason! What if someone recognizes me?! And besides, I only have two outfits..."

"Then I'll sneak you a dress or something!"

"Oh, don't you DARE, Flashlight! Do I look like the kinda gal that wears a dress?!"

Lux had to admit she thought she'd look cute in one. Like a big ragdoll!

"You won't know if you don't try it!" She said. And she was really getting excited now. "If you don't like it, I won't push, but please try it? For me?"

Big round eyes... Waaaay too big, but they did the trick!

Jinx sighed in defeat. "Fine... Tomorrow. But nothing fancy, okay? I was never exactly high class or nothing." She smiled a bit. When was the last time she'd let herself have nice things?

"Yes! You're going to love it!" Lux let herself light up a little. "I'll pick out something simple for you to wear, nothing too fancy! Don't worry, it's going to be lovely." Okay, maybe she was a bit too excited about this...

"Okay, whatever. See you tomorrow..." Jinx stretched and went to the door. "Goodnight, Flashlight."

"Goodnight, Jinx!" There she went, rolling Js again.

When Jinx closed the door, she let herself lean on it a bit and breathe a sigh of relief. Like a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders at last... She smiled wide. And for a moment, nothing was wrong in the world. She said it to herself, mostly. Barely a whisper before going to sleep.

"Isha would have loved you."

And she thought Lux didn't hear it, but now it was the noble who had to fight back the tears...

[thatmooncake]

Trick or treat!

I dressed up as moon!!

Moon meet Moon

[unordinaries]

presented without comment

(chapters 280 + 344)

[francesderwent]

deep down I am afraid it will never actually be my turn to have people make sacrifices for me

[spicyhip]

ya’ll wanna take a how many aura points do you have quiz with me

[bumbling-kiddo]

out of energyyy goodnight friends in my phone <33 any mutuals i forgot to go say trick or treat to i’m sorry ilysm <3

[the-busy-ghost]

Me normally: Let people love what they love

Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE

[yuseirra]

onk is so annoying~~~~~~~!!!aahh I actually feel like I'm going to get so many things right in the end and I have all the answers, I SERIOUSLY DO, I'm not- I'm not being full of myself or making baseless claims, I just SEE what they are trying to do with the writing, the feelings of the characters at least, some of them are painfully obvious BUT THEY JUST KEEP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH AND KEEP TRYING TO TWIST THINGS AWAY AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT ISN'T. That's what I find so annoying!! It's actually one of the reasons why I took a break from reading the comic after some time when I picked up the work after having viewed S1 last year. I know what they're doing and why the characters are written like this, and how they're like this, I'm pretty positive!!

I was annoyed about Aqua last time because he still had feelings for Kana yet the authors made him entangled with Akane while he DIDN'T abandon his feelings for her, I'm really sorry but he shouldn't have treated Akane like that. It wasn't fair. His feelings towards Kana NEVER once changed. I JUST SAW THAT, the writers make him stray away from that feeling he was for painfully long, they better make the whole reveal fulfilling in the end, I KNEW aqukana was going to be endgame for so long. Aqua SHOULD NOT have treated Akane the way he did if he really wanted to build a genuine relationship with her. The anime S2 seems to leave off at there where he asks her to be a couple, well, I think he did try, but he didn't discard his feelings towards Kana as he did either. I just.. knew, that what happened wasn't what he truly wanted and this guy NEVER confronts his desires, he should have gone up and told the person he liked about his feelings but this comic considers something like this a suspense or a plot point and lets it drag on for dozens of chapters... I came BACK after they confirmed about his feelings because GOD it was so obvious. This whole story would have gone nowhere without him ever having gotten true to his feelings, nothing would have been resolved without it because he'd always have had this lingering feeling for Kana and it's just hanging with it without being acknowledged in the story!!! It's not about what ship I support exactly, it's- I know what characters have feeling for whom!!! and they try to make it seem like it's some big secret because I get it, endgame ships are important but Aqua, as much as I cared for him(he's been making me so angry lately though,) was being a douche to both girls. They both can go kick his butt for toying around with those girl's feelings. and ehh I can see regardless of who his love interest is, ultimately the one person he really cares about more than his own life is Ruby HSHSH.. What is that guy doing. His dad told him to go back and live!! I am mad!!!

and now, I already partly have a good idea about how Hikaru and Ai's relationship issue's going to be resolved but they have to DRAG IT ON AND MAKE ME SO NERVOUS. The authors must really like doing this and think it's very clever but again, this is so tedious and nerve-wrecking to watch as a weekly issue with Hikaru being completely out of it, he's totally gone insane!!! The one guy Ai wanted to confess to being in shambles is both so ridiculous and so tragic to look at!! Look at the total mess he's become, they can't make him be so..;; so ugly like this, it's so rude to his being as a character and I'm sure they aren't going to leave him be like this as Ai's other half(YES THIS GUY!!! IS AI'S OTHER HALF!! HE'S DEVISED TO BE HER MATCH FROM THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT STAGE!!)

Come on everyone, I know what I'm doing.

YOU CAN'T MAKE AI SAY WHAT SHE'S SAID TO/ABOUT HER MURDERER!!!! THAT'S 1. SO CRUEL, 2.A DOWNRIGHT DUMB CHOICE AS A WRITER AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A POINT!!

YOU MAKE HER SAY THAT BECAUSE THE GUY DIDN'T DO IT AND IS SOMEONE WHO SHE CAN TRULY LOVE THAT WAY!!! HER NAME MEANS LOVE!!! I just... caught that as soon as this dropped and they lay out all these dumb and confusing ideas later on and make things sooo messy but it's actually, ultimately leading in this direction because DID WE SEE ANY CLEAR PROOF THAT HE WANTED TO HURT AI OR GET BACK AT HER. WE DO NOT BECAUSE HE REALLY DIDN'T DO IT!!! IDK ABT HIM KILLING OTHER PPL THAT'S VAGUE BUT AT LEAST, THIS GUY LOVED AI!!!! WHAT THEY HAVE IS MUTUAL AND HIS FEELINGS FOR HER'S BEEN WHAT'S BEEN MAKING HIM GO ON WHEN HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY WILL TO LIVE AND FEELS PRACTICALLY DEAD AFTER SHE'S GONE!!

THIS GUY WENT INSANE AFTER HE LOST THE ONE SINGLE PERSON WHO MATTERED THE MOST IN HIS LIFE. HE'S NOT HIMSELF!! I just watched how he appeared in the final ep in the anime and I kept going: 'oh this guy. He's totally lost it. He's totally gone mad, the madman. he needs to see a psychiatrist' BECAUSE WHAT'S BEING PRESENTED, IS NOT HIM BEING HIMSELF. I really think.. the guy became possessed or became out of it after he wished to see Ai again. Look, Look at what's happening in the songs. SOMEONE WISHED THE DEAD TO BE BACK. SOMEONE WISHED TO BE ABLE TO BE WITH THEM. THEY WERE WILLING TO DO ANYTHING IF ONLY THAT WERE TO BE POSSIBLE. THEY WISHED UPON "A STAR". There is no one else other than him that would have made that kind of wish.

HE WANTS AI BACK!!!!

Help omygod I'm so tired of the writers just dragging on and spinning things in circles and confusing the readers I JUST GOT THIS OVER AND DONE WITH AS SOON AS THE CHAPTER AND THE SONGS DROPPED AND

If they're doing to make him a villain they never would have had to put in that scene where Ai tells her children she wants her boyfriend to be helped. That totally isn't necessary. They never need to have told us she really loved him and wished to live forever with him. This isn't the type of story where HER efforts would remain a dumb, futile choice, Hikaru's wish may be but AS FOR AI, NO!!!! IT JUST LITERALLY CANNOT HAPPEN!!! THE ENTIRE STORY HAS HER WISH AND LEGACY UNDERLYING IN THE PLOTLINE AS A FLOW, THE STORY DOES NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT IT BECOMING A REALITY!!! RUBY AND AQUA'S WISH AND DRIVES ARE HIGHLY CORRELATED TO THE WISH SHE HAS, AND IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM DETACHING AND STRAYING AWAY FROM IT, IT'S ABOUT THEM ADDING ONTO IT AND STEPPING FORWARD BUT IN THAT SAME DIRECTION! THEY EACH BECAME AN ACTOR AND AN IDOL THE WAY SHE WANTED AND THEY PROGRESSED IN THE ROUTES IN THEIR RESPECTIVE JOURNEYS. THIS STORY CANNOT STAND WITH AI BEING DISREGARDED, SHE'S THE PIVOTAL, KEY PERSON THAT ACTS AS THE BACKBONE!! SO THERE IS NO WAY HER BELOVED IS A SIMPLE CRAZY INSANE MANIAC THE MOMENT SHE TELLS THE READERS SHE ACTUALLY LOVES HIM DEARLY!! SOMETHING'S UP WITH THAT GUY AND HE'S ALSO SOMEONE THAT DESERVES TO BE SAVED!! THAT CHARACTER IS DEVISED TO BE AI'S LOVE. HE IS. AND YOU DON'T MAKE THAT GUY BE A BASELESS SIMPLE FREAK, THAT'S WHY LITERALLY NOTHING'S ACTUALLY BEEN... TOLD TO US ABOUT HIM??? BECAUSE, THE STORY WANTED US TO THINK THAT WAY BUT HE ACTUALLY WASN'T!!!! IT'S RUDE NOT JUST TO HIM BUT AI!! AND I AM SURE THE WRITERS REALLY DO LOVE AND CARE FOR AI. They won't make her look dumb. Not only does it make the character's charm die out, it just totally downplays and degrades the entire series as a whole. Ai is that central. I'm not saying this because I favor her, it's just.. the way she's devised.

it's such a relief this manga's on hiatus till October 24th~ 'v')/ ah.. I can relax.. I can relax. um, probably till this time next week, this comic is oh, it can get super dumb(I'm so sorry aka-san and mengo-san. I don't mean it in a literal sense I'm just TIRED THOUGH). There are so many things I like about it but it stresses me out, I honestly wouldn't be like this if I could not spot anything, but I just SEE these things so clearly and I feel so lonely about it, there is NO WAY it wouldn't go otherwise at least I think so, but it's not my work and the writers aren't me either so I can't be completely sure- it's... painful to wait out and see the characters making dumb choices and making crazy faces, making vague statements that actually result to nothing much and having to wait a week for unanswered questions, every week, I'm not sure if this is supposed be suspense or cliffhangers or what makes the readers want to grab the next episode etc but I've never seen a comic that works so much like a morning kdrama, it's been that way as of lately and it's really wearing me out

oh guys, oh guys don't worry. I never play a game I'd lose. I really need to buy one of those storywriting books- the "how to write" sort of things right. but I; just don't see this going any other way in an ultimate sense. The answers are already out. What I'm unsure is how we'd get there. I could sit back.. and come back after a year like the way I did last time, but I stepped in way too deep and it feels like a sinkhole.. I keep getting afraid if I get anything wrong, oh, I actually feel I can speak.. a little.. when they have breaks like these. otherwise I'd get too nervous to say anything... I can just focus with doing what I enjoy regarding this work without having to worry about just what the heck may come next...

I have like 3-4 ideas I want to draw, I want to get to that before the next chapter drops lol if this comic keeps making me so;; nervous, yeah, I can just rest. I've been pushing so hard~~~~ I'm sure the writers are having so much fun right now and I'm just playing into their hands as a reader because wouldn't it be so nice!! be so fun!! to have people feel things regarding their work! but it's time they start providing us answers now and give this story a good wrap-up. I hope it has like three volumes left at least; I will regret having read this piece if they just drop what that can be perfectly good because, because, I can see this piece getting a really good resolution. They can do it!!! I SEE IT! IT CAN HAPPEN! EVERYTHING CAN MAKE GOOD SENSE AND IT CAN BE GREAT!! AND I think that's what they're going for. I got so many things right about this piece, oh.. I really hope it does go in the way I could be happy I read it.. I got in again because I caught a glimpse of it.

[episodes-without-incident]

4/20/2023:

0 episodes since Drawfee last referenced Cats (2019)

[mythbits]

getting cozy~

(aka. what I've been doing for the past few days jfjfjcd)

(tldr for tag rambling: i hope you have a happy new year 🎉 and may this year be a little more niceys to us :])

[secondpersonpoetry]

hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!

frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that. 

i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.

but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.

the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”.  like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends. 

best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?

maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway. 

one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?

or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!

and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something! 

i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!

dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.

all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.

anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..

lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂‍↕️

thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333

what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here

first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)

no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?

HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.

i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.

OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY

🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives

p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕