#hoo boy you have a storm coming

[storywriter007]

can you do a “fighting for the first time” preference/headcannons with the HoO boys ? i love ur work!!

Fighting for the First Time - HoO Boys x Fem!Reader

author's note: thank you for the request!! and i'm so glad you like my work, this literally made my day. this is what i feel like first fights (non-quest related) would go but add your ideas in the comments!!

genre: angst ending in fluff

word count: 1.5k but it's all in bullet points

-> heroes of olympus masterlist

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send me requests here! (these are my guidelines)

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percy jackson

the first time you guys seriously fight, it goes one of two ways

either a.) he doesn't care about who's right and just wants things to go back to normal or b.) he thinks he's right

option a is the preferred option

he tries to talk to you, finding you whenever and wherever

he refuses to leave until the problem is sorted out

and he is upset the entire duration of the fight

he apologizes for anything

"i'm sorry if i did anything at all to hurt you" kind of apology

option a fights would be over things like unintentionally hurting each-other

like accidentally saying something mean or sparring too roughly with each-other

or it would be over his reckless behavior

in which he understands why it worries you

this first fight wouldn't last long

maybe a day before you guys are all good again

option b is the worst

when he's convinced he's right, he tunes you out

not intentionally, it's just that he's too caught up in what he's feeling to properly listen to you

you guys go back and forth in circles

practically yelling at each-other

his eyes get dark and he becomes angry quickly

refuses to listen to you until things reach a tipping point

either you or him storm out and leave the other one alone for a few days and talk it out once they've cooled down

or one of you starts crying, and the anger is overshadowed by guilt and heartbreak bc of their ignorance

this fight would probably be over his loved ones

if you had pointed out a flaw about them or something they did which you didn't appreciate

or maybe just a passing comment you unintentionally made

i mean the loyalty on that man is crazy

lots of hurt feelings during this fight

and it would last a while - the most being a week

however, both fights would have a mutual apology

where both of you apologize for the things you've said and done

and you guys agree to do better in the future

you probs end up falling asleep in cabin 3 that night

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jason grace

to get in a serious fight with him, it's gotta be something big

jason is calm and level-headed

he takes a walk the first time things get heated and comes back to you with a clear mind

he talks to you calmly, treating the fight more like a debate

don't get it wrong though: internally he's freaking out

he's lost a lot, and he doesn't want to lose you

honestly your first serious fight with him would be over reckless behavior (on your end) or him being walked over

your first serious fight spawns from how deeply you two care for each-other

either he's mad you don't care about yourself and doesn't know how to tell you calmly bc you don't listen

or you're mad that he's ready to die for gods and kids who don't care about him in the least

you guys only fight about these things because light-hearted conversations don't send the message

jason, especially, stays stern during the fight

you wonder if he even cares tbh

but then you notice how he pauses and searches for words, how his lip twitches when you say something snappy, and the look in his eyes

he barely raises his voice, and only does it when you interrupt him constantly

the first fight would end within a day

it would end with revealing why you are reckless or why he is so selfless

it would be a calm, vulnerable conversation

would probs end in a make-out session bc he was so afraid he was gonna lose you

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leo valdez

i'm going to be so real rn: the fight starts because he's feeling inferior

he loves you sm and he considers himself lucky to have you

but bc of that - his feeling of inferiority would be on the back of his mind

he's not really jealous, but more-so afraid you're going to leave him at the drop of a hat like how everyone else has

so he gets upset if you're spending too much time around any other guy

the book series repeatedly talks about leo's insecurities and how he feels like he's not good enough and how he feels everything is his fault

insecurity runs deep and it would most definitely be a reason for a fight

you guys do raise your voices bc at first you're not understanding each-other

you think he's jealous and he thinks you don't want to be with him anymore

after you guys are done with your screaming match, leo would coop up wherever his machines are

he would stay there for a long time and think

he 100% is over analyzing every single thing you said to him

he's convinced you guys are going to break up and you're going to leave him

and he deserves it because it's his fault for starting the argument

even though he isn't jealous or thinks you're a cheater, he just let his insecurities get the best of him

and he feels like it's over for you two

he doubts himself; wondering if he should even try to talk to you or just let what he believes is the inevitable happen

so he doesn't even try to apologize

he is convinced it is all his fault

overworks himself in an attempt to distract himself from all of his terrible thoughts

you, on the other hand, have your time alone and want to talk to him

it's nighttime and he's nowhere to be found

you go to his little lab and voila, there he is

his eyes are red and sunken and his hands are shaky and dirty

you don't say anything, you just hug him

he breaks down and tells you why he was actually mad

he profusely apologizes and doesn't blame you if you want to break up

you explain to him that you are with him because you love him and that one little fight would never make you leave him

you reassure him that he is more than enough

this fight doesn't last more than a day or maybe two

the fight would end with a really intense kiss

and you would probably spend the rest of the night with him in his little work area

you'd watch movies, make jokes, laugh a lot, and company him while he manically works on something

that something is metal flowers as an apology for acting the way he did

it's his way of saying "we're stuck together and i love you :)"

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frank zhang

it's difficult to get into a serious fight with frank

but if you do, it would be over reckless behavior (on your end, c'mon y/n) or his own insecurity

your reckless behavior specifically with fire

frank and fire do not get along - it's well known

he literally can't stand you doing something dangerous in general

but with fire, it's even worse

he's convinced something terrible is going to happen and he lashes out at you bc of his previous experiences with fire

this fight would be short-lived though, bc you would understand why he feels that way

you'd apologize to him and he would apologize for lashing out

you'd agree to stop joking around with fire, but you'd convince him to start getting over his fear

this first fight actually ends up more helpful in the long run as frank slowly overcomes his fear of fire with you by his side

however, if it's his own insecurities, this would go another way

as mentioned, frank has been bullied

and he repeatedly feels like an outcast because he doesn't have dyslexia/adhd, he's an archer but he's a mars kid, and his life depends on a piece of firewood

your fight would start bc he felt left out with you

but it's just him overthinking

(if you use a sword) it's you sparring with jason or percy for practice

and it kinda makes him feel like "i want to help my gf but she needs someone who's actually good"

if you hang out with another mars kid for too long

makes him think "what i should be"

if you made a jab at him that he took a little too seriously

frank is a gentle giant, so he wouldn't yell in the least

you guys would argue and he'd be lost for words, kind of stuttering and repeating himself a lot

he'd just kinda walk off during an argument

this would make you mad bc he started the thing and doesn't want to listen to you

but really, he just wants to talk to you when it's not so heated

you'd go hide in your cabin/room

frank would be walking around and comes to the realization that walking out on your argument was a douchebag move

he shapeshifts into like a rat or a bug or something to go see you in your cabin and make sure you're not hurt

you'd see some random animal in your cabin and you get freaked out

he turn back into himself and apologizes for being rash

he'd be honest and tell you that he was just overthinking things and that he just got in his own head

you accept his apology and tell him to communicate better

to tell you if he feels left out or if he doesn't think something is funny, and to tell you that's he's leaving the argument bc he wants to think abt it

this fight is over by sundown

and you spend the rest of the evening practicing archery with him

[faeriekit]

Ghosts of Those We Once Knew

a phic phight fill for @silverwing013

Warnings for: implied child abuse, accidental death, dead parents

**💚**

“Oh yeah?! And what are you going to do about it?!” Aunt Alicia snapped into the phone. 

There was a sound on the other end of the line, but Danny couldn’t make it out all the way. There was another solution, but it was…risky; it would require going into his aunt’s bedroom— a well known, forbidden domain— to pick up the only other phone hooked up to the landline. 

…There was no other time to find out what Aunt Alicia was putting off. It had to be worth the risk. Danny crept up the worn carpeting of the stairs, hoping that his sneakiness would hold up to Alicia’s discerning eyes and ears. 

Her bedroom was dark. Carpeted. …Pink. 

Whatever. Danny took a deep breath, lifted the phone off the hook, and tried not to breathe too loudly into the mouthpiece.

“You have no right to keep Daniel in your dismal, miserable, isolated hovel,” someone shouted on the other end. Danny had never heard this voice before. He sounded like someone around Dad’s age, maybe? Maybe a little…smoother, despite the blistering anger coming through the line. “You live with no human contact for nine months out of the year. You speak to no one. Do you— is Daniel even enrolled in a school? Did you get any sort of educational provisions for him whatsoever?” 

“What, so he can get cocky and blow himself up in the garage like his parents?” Alicia snapped. Danny had to clap a hand to his mouth to hide his gasp of dismay. 

“You know full well that punishing your sister’s son by restricting his access to an education and basic human companionship is not a solution to your grief for your sister. You are out of your mind.”

Aunt Alicia’s voice got low. Aunt Alicia’s voice got mean. She sounded like how she looked when Danny had fumbled the water pail from the well or stepped two steps too close to the rhubarb patch out back. “Vladmir Masters, you listen here,” Aunt Alicia muttered. “That boy is everything left of my sister in the whole damn world. He is not going anywhere. Do you understand? Not for you to fill his head with her stupid husband’s supernatural hoo-ha, and not for you to snatch up and teach himself how to kill other people the way those two killed each other. Danny stays here. If you ring me up one more time, I’m going to do more than just mail dog crap to the front step of your stupid castle in Wisconsin.”

The phone cut off. It would be an innocuous end to a phone call, except Danny can hear the clatter of plastic cracking on plastic in the downstairs kitchen.

There was a moment of silence.

“Daniel Jackson Fenton, you get your butt in here right now!”

Danny jolted, heart pounding. He—he went downstairs.

Aunt’s Alicia’s lips were pursed, her eyes tight. “What did I tell you about missing all the sticks in the yard? It looks like a wreck!”

Danny felt his breath stick in his throat.

“Well?”

“Yes, Aunt Alicia,” Danny mumbled. He looked down and away. He wasn’t caught out eavesdropping, but…was this any better?

“If those sticks aren’t piled up beside the woodshed for kindling in half an hour, you can kiss your dinner goodbye.”

Danny hadn’t had dinner in three nights. He was very lucky he didn’t need to eat as much as living kids. “…Yes, Aunt Alicia.”

“So?”

…Danny went outside to collect sticks. It took until nightfall to get all the refuse from yesterday’s storm off the ground.

Aunt Alicia ate canned corn and carrots and butchered rabbit with hot sauce for dinner. Danny ate nothing.

Danny went to bed thinking about somewhere else he could go. Mom and Dad were dead—smithereens in the blast that had killed him and brought him back to life simultaneously. Jazz was in the hospital. He had no grandparents. He had no other aunts or uncles other than Aunt Alicia.

…Who was Vladmir Masters?

*

It took two days for Danny to decide to run away.

Or. Well. Fly.

He’d figured that if he wanted to find out who Vladmir Masters was, he’d need an internet connection. His cell had been on the Fenton Fone Plan™ and had been disconnected from the Fenton Family Patented Ghost-free Satellite™ for almost three months now. But, you know…what was a public library for, if not getting information?

The two-day waiting period was mostly just Danny getting his stuff together, making sure he didn’t leave anything behind, finding anything worth stealing…

…There was a picture of Mom with her big hair at graduation, a black robe thrown over her Hazmat suit. Her hair had been so big. Lots of people were beside her, including Dad, and someone with a matching hair stripe. They looked happy.

It didn’t matter that it had been Aunt Alicia’s photo. The picture had gone into his backpack next to Bearbert Einstein and a filched pocket knife.

Mom was Aunt Alicia’s sister, but Madeline Fenton had been his mom.

…Was still his mom.

Would…would always be his mom.

Danny wouldn’t cry. He wasn’t going to cry. Still, the flying and everything was still new to him. It took almost ten minutes to get himself off the ground without floating off willy nilly.

It took another half an hour to remember how to go through walls.

By the time Danny fell (as in actually, literally, leaned up against the wall and then realized he’d not made contact the way he’d expected to) through the house wall, it was almost eight at night. Aunt Alicia was still listening to Prairie Home Companion downstairs on the radio.

Whatever. He was out of there. He was sure he looked crazy—his hair was white, which was almost impossible to hide—but all he had to do was get out of there fast enough that no one connected one teenage runaway with a backpack to Danny Fenton.

It was fine.

It was all going to be fine.

…And if there wasn’t someone who’d help him. Well. Being homeless didn’t sound…so bad…?

…Or maybe he’d just squat in the burnt out ruins of Fentonworks. That sounded fine too.

*

Morning broke. Danny ended up in a tiny town somewhere in Mississippi.

A nice guy at the coffee shop gave him a cup of water and told him where the local library was. A librarian plugged her login details for him on a public computer, and Danny was able to look up one “Vladmir Masters”…

…CEO and owner of DALVco, millionaire, and Green Bay Packers megafan.

Holy crap.

Like… There were hospital wings with his name on them. Charities operating out of his company. Every picture of the man was perfectly taken in perfect lighting with perfect suits and precise smirks and bright-white magazine article paper.

Danny went back up to the librarian. “Do you have any articles on…uh…Vlad Masters?”

The librarian smiled warmly. “Ah, school project?”

“Sure,” Danny lied, milk on his tongue.

Vlad Masters was a self-made millionaire. He lived in a castle in Wisconsin that used to be owned by a dairy empire kingpin. He went to—

Danny read the line again

—He went to the same college as Mom and Dad. The year looked right, too. They might have even graduated in the exact same year. If only Danny could still check Dad’s college ring in the bottom of their junk drawer.

Wisconsin. Vlad Masters lived in Wisconsin.

…Danny was really lucky he was never all that hungry anymore.

Danny got another cup of water at the coffee shop, washed his face in the bathroom, and got ready to fly another night.

He was no sextant, but he could probably figure out how to get to Wisconsin after a couple of hours of flying, and a little time to gauge the sky.

It would be easy.

…Danny’s white-topped, pale face stared back at him from the restroom mirror.

It had to be. It would have to be easy.

*

So, a cheese castle looked a lot like a regular castle.

Danny squinted up at the stonework. Nah, that looked like…a castle. That being said, it looked more specifically like the castle he was looking for—the one that had been featured in Vlad Masters’s house tour in Architecture Daily magazine two years ago.  

Same…roof bits. Same big door. Danny swallowed. Same…tower? Were there better words for these? There were definitely better words for all the tricky stone bits in the castle.

Whatever. Danny was praying that the man was actually home today, as opposed to flying across the country on some kind of business trip. Rich people did business trips, right?

Danny floated up to the front door. There was no doorbell.

…Danny bit his lip. Okay. So there was no doorbell. There was a very large, brass door knocker. It looked kind of like a big monster face, with a ring held in its teeth.

The knocker was just high enough off the ground that Danny had to float to get there. Lifting it was a struggle.

When it knocked, the whole door buzzed with sound.

Danny waited.

…He waited.

And…Danny waited.

No one came.

Danny picked at the skin of his lip. What if he just…went in?

Like. It was a big house. Maybe Vlad Masters just hadn’t heard him at all? Maybe he was just…in the basement or something…?

Danny paced midair. On one hand. He’d come all this way. He had to follow through. He had to see if there was…something. Anything. Anything at all—anything that could possibly connect Masters to his family.

Any connection that wasn’t Aunt Alicia would be worth breaking and entering.

On the other hand. Home invasion was and would remain illegal.

Danny grimaced.

He…stuck his head through the door. 

There was a hallway on the other side. A little end table. A guest book. 

…Okay. Danny slipped through the door. He was breaking and entering now— or at least…entering. 

Inside was dark. Gloomy. Comfortable, sure— lots of soft furnishings, curtains, couches, pillow, lounging things— but very…opaque in atmosphere. 

He was glowing, he noticed. That probably was pretty bad on the “trying not to get caught” scale. 

There was no one upstairs. Danny drifted through room after empty room and up into floor after empty floor. There was a kitchen, and the food therein were largely preserved items. There was nothing in the fridge. 

Danny’s stomach cramped. There was no one here. 

…Maybe he should look downstairs? 

The castle got colder the further down he went. The windows that at least allowed the minimal light that escaped through the tree cover in the castle vanished. The only light left was Danny. 

Danny floated down deeper. 

There were doors made of metal in a long, stone hallway. Each had different numbers on them. Danny followed the rows of doors.

There were wires on the floor. They were organized by color and bound by little ties, until they weren’t, and Danny eventually ran out of tangled webs of red and blue plastic to follow. 

They ended at a closed door. 

Danny hesitated. He poked his head through. 

On the other side was a ghost. 

Danny jerked back. He’d— he clapped his hand over his mouth. That was—! And sure, Danny was something like that now, but he’d never seen—!

He should leave. Danny should leave. 

Danny barely made it three doors down. 

Going somewhere? something asked him. Danny shivered. 

The ghost appeared on his left in ethereal white, black hair pulled behind him in some sort of half-halo. Unlike Danny, who was in something like half-hazmat, half-hoodie, the ghost wore a long, glowing labcoat, appropriate PPE beneath. 

Danny’s breath fogged up in his mouth. He flinched. “Sorr—” he tried. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I’m not supposed to be here.”

The ghost looked at him with bright red eyes. Danny floated a few steps back. Spying, are you?

Danny shook his head. “No!! No, I just— I was looking for— I wasn’t spying! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you li— died here! I’ll leave!” 

The ghost’s head tilted. For a second, Danny thought that he was going to throw a punch. And then—

You’re already here, the ghost pointed out, and opened a door. Beyond it was…something similar to a doctor’s office. An examination table with the paper on it. One of those blood pressure cuffs, attached to a printer for the readout. A sink. Sundry tongue depressors. You may as well consent to be helped. 

“...Helped with what?” Danny asked nervously, fingers flexing. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

The ghost hummed— not in the way voices hummed, but in the way high voltage sang in distant powerlines. You are newly formed, aren’t you? Most can tell a ghost’s nature from its presence alone.

Danny looked away. “Um. You know. You might be the first ghost I’ve ever met.” 

The ghost’s feet almost touched the ground. It stared down at him. It was taller than he was, and when it stared, it made Danny want to run away. 

…Truly, the ghost asked(?), and it took Danny a second to realize it was a question. 

“Maybe I died a little recently…” Danny tried, trailing off into a mumble. Was there a right answer to this? 

…I see. That would make this check-up more urgent, then. Might I encourage you to come this way? 

Danny followed him into the room. 

It felt… It looked and felt exactly like any other doctor’s appointment, excepting that the doctor involved in the process had blue skin and fangs and a hairstyle that defied gravity. The ghost still wore gloves and didn’t poke him or prod him too hard, though, so that was a bonus.

Danny got his pulse taken. (None.) Danny got his lungs checked. (Not breathing.) Danny got his resonance? looked at? Whatever that was? It was a big scanny thing that looked like an X ray and took pictures of his chest. 

The readings were real pretty, whatever they were; the whole film print was taken up with splotches of white and clear blue. It kind of shimmered when Danny tilted his head. 

You’re quite powerful for a newly formed ghost, the ghost offered, overlooking papers Danny couldn’t quite see on his clipboard. It flipped through once. Twice. You’re clearly not attached to your place of death, so that’s not why… Are you aware of any compulsions to follow an Obsession yet…?

A ghostly obsession? Danny knew what that was— it was one of his parents’ theories on why ghosts persisted after death! Was it was true? 

“Um,” Danny said, unsure. He hadn’t…had he? “Not that I know of?”

The ghost paused. It clicked its pen. It marked something down on Danny’s chart. Interesting.

Ominous. 

May I quickly test something? the ghost asked, looking up at Danny. It would only take a moment. If it does not work, there will be no other side effects other than mild discomfort and an activated flight response. 

Danny shifted. The paper crackled underneath him. “...Does it hurt?” 

No.

The ghost added nothing more. 

Danny’s…head jerked up and down. It was fine. It would be fine. 

The ghost’s hand circled his wrist. Its touch burned like fire. 

And then light, like how Danny burned away one form for another—

—Danny was left on the table, no longer weightless, no longer breathless. He was flesh. He was human again.

Vlad Masters stared back at him. 

…Huh. 

Mr. Masters— Vlad?— licked dry lips, staring at Danny, whose wrist he still held. Danny…didn’t know if he could move. Danny didn’t know if he knew how to move. 

“...Daniel?” Mr. Masters’s voice cracked. His eyes moved up and down Danny’s body, from his raggedy hair to his dirt-stained clothes to his beat-up shoes. “Daniel Fenton?”

Danny winced. “It’s just Danny,” he offered hoarsely. His throat bobbed. “You…know me?” 

Mr. Masters moved his grip to Danny’s hand, apparently moved to tears. Without the red in his eyes, he just looked…human enough. “Daniel— Danny, how did you— Are you dead? What happened?” 

Danny felt the weight of everything push down on him again, as if it had ever let up on him since the portal incident. Mom and Dad’s funerals. Jazz in the emergency room. Being resuscitated by the EMTs. Getting shipped out to Aunt Alicia’s house without warning. 

“House blew up.”

That was succinct enough, right?

The man’s face turned devastated. “I heard— I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry, Danny.”

…It was more concern than anyone had shown in a long time. His eyes were wet before he knew it. When he wiped his face with his sleeve, the dampness was enough to leave little streaks of mud on his face— and, ugh, he felt filthy. 

“It’s okay,” Danny lied, because it wasn’t. He pressed his sleeve to his eyes. “It’s…you know my parents?”

Mr. Masters took a deep, surprised breath. “Yes. We…weren’t in contact after we graduated from school together, but Jack always… He asked me by email to be your godfather, right before you were born. I said yes, but I have no idea if he ever filed the paperwork.” 

Oh. 

…Oh. 

There were clearly more secrets here. Mr. Masters was a ghost, and so was Danny. He lived in a giant castle that was clearly haunted, which was made obvious by the owner. He was Danny’s godfather, and Danny had never once met him. 

And he wasn’t Aunt Alicia. 

Danny sucked the spit off of his teeth with his tongue. “Can I stay here?” 

Mr. Masters made a wounded, desperate expression. “I would rather you did.” 

“Can you teach me how to be a ghost?”

The man persevered through what were clearly heavy feelings. “...If I must.” 

“Can I have dinner?” was Danny’s final question. “Like. On the regular?” 

There was a second where Mr. Masters’s eyes went red. The castle suddenly felt taut with anticipation. Fury crawled on Danny’s skin. He could feel the pressure digging in search of some way to burrow into his flesh.

And then it was gone. 

“Of course you can. You are a growing boy.”

Danny smiled shyly, barely showing his teeth. When he smiled for real in the mirror, he had fangs. It was better not to. “Cool.”

Mr. Masters nodded. And when Danny looked down at the floor, he changed his grip so that Danny could hold his hand and hop down like normal. 

“It will be alright,” Mr. Masters promised quietly. It seemed to be just as much for him as it was for Danny. “Or…I’ll take care of it. Whatever happens. You’re not alone, Danny.” 

Danny had been alone for almost half a year. It had felt like forever. “Thanks.” He sniffed. 

They walked upstairs from the basement laboratory together, in a way Mom and Dad never would again. 

[ronearoundblindly]

Which of the guys would be open to participate in a self care/spa day with you? 🛁🫧💅

This one I separated into categories for who genuinely enjoys, stands it for you, or only allows it when a daughter wants to play (and no, that's not with you, but 'he' just needs worn way down to allow it). No warnings but I bet you'll find some surprises...

Truly Finds Joy In Self-Care

Ransom Drysdale, Johnny Storm, Jake Jensen, and Lloyd Hansen

I think we all know that Ransom and Lloyd are preening, pretty bois, so this should come as no surprise to anyone. Ransom is more private with his beauty regimen, but he's not above paying good money to visit a fancy spa. Lloyd has entirely too much fun showing off how callus/indifferent he is by, ya know, ordering people's death by phone while a clay mask detoxes his pores, etc. He is also heavily critical of what products he will use again (i.e. if grittiness stuck in his mustache or if an exfoliant irritated his fresh shave).

Johnny and Jake are playful about it; Jake likes the process of relaxing more than Johnny. Jake nerds out on the chemical properties of ingredients. Johnny teases you about the frou-frou-ness of it all the whole time, HOWEVER, he is also the one who enjoys a foot massage more than any other character. Falls asleep within two damn minutes. It's bizarre and sort of endearing.

Would Do It To Please You

James Mace, Curtis Everett, and Steve Rogers

Curtis can make do with a bar of soap and a hot bath; that's really the pinnacle of indulgent care to him, but he knows you love the various face masks and lotions. He is highly amused by cucumber slices on his eyes but hates cucumber water (any infusion really, just drink some juice ffs). La Croix is better used to get blood out of this clothes than to drink. He thinks it's nasty.

Like Jake, Mace will dissect what ingredients will actually be beneficial and which products are just snake oil. He takes pride in helping you choose the best things to use or spend your time on. Mace is, unfortunately, the most practical man, and he will flat out refuse to indulge you if he has something else he needs to focus on.

Steve is a bit strange about this one. He love, love, loves for you to pamper yourself, but he will participate very reluctantly. He grew up being fawned over like a delicate doll, received treatment after treatment--often to no effect,--and even resorted to some of those far-fetched, home remedies for various ailments. Yes, his mom was a nurse and a woman of science. Yes, he did follow doctors' advice whenever they offered a useful solution. But also, yes, he was so sick with so many things for so long that he tried everything.

Steve associates a lot of self-care 'treatments' with being ill...which he is not...not anymore. Please, do not get him started on essential oils. You think he lectures as Cap? Hoo boy...

Begrudgingly Is A Daughter's Palette

Jimmy Dobyne, Ari Levinson, and Bucky Barnes

For Jimmy, there's just some stuff you do for your kids simply because they're your kids, and playing with makeup or face mask, nail polish or hair clips, and even every product around the rim of the tub is one of those things.

Ari and Bucky get roped into plaiting practice since they have some length of hair to braid, but these two do not sit still well. They each find sneaky ways to let their girls enjoy spa stuff while they do not have to. Your daughter can get a little manicure while he gets a haircut or shave. That's about the extent of their 'enjoyment.'

As for why they won't participate with you specifically? Jimmy, Ari, and Bucky all consider spa/self-care to be a thing you should do with your girl friends (or your daughters, hint hint). These three place a heavy value on you keeping up those fun relationships with others. They also know that when the ladies do a spa day, the men folk are free to meet up for something else, like sports or drinking or both.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would' Ask List; Ko-Fi]

[honey-minded-hivemind]

In light of the fact that I seem to enjoy given prompts or ideas that give our characters a hard time, here's something light:

Reader, who is a teen living at the mansion, tells everyone that their family is coming to visit. Everyone groans because family visits mean one of 2 things: thinly veiled racism thrown toward mutants until its not so thinly veiled and they need to be thrown out, or over protective parents who don't care that their kid needs to learn to control their mutation and needs the protection and community of other mutants, "their pwecious babie" needs to come home to mommy and daddy because they said so. And then they get thrown out.

So the day Reader's fam comes to visit and everybody is just bracing themselves for the worst. Then the family comes through the door.

It's just...a family full of Readers.

They're all so happy to see Reader and meet all their mutant friends and are so thankful the X-men could help their kid where they couldn't and oh they are just so proud.

Reader's grandma is pinching Scott's cheek, telling him what a "handsome young man" he was. Their uncle is giving a burly bear hug to Kurt and sharing the beers he brought for the road with Logan. Their aunties have taken over the kitchen to make everyone food. Their parents have pulled out baby photos to show Jean and Storm. Someone gave like, 12 blankets to Charles.

Aaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!! I LOVE IT! The Readerson Family! (The last name comes from BeeBea🐝!)

The mutants are dumbfounded.

Okay. What is this?

Reader's family is actually... nice.

Like, really nice.

Heck, they've buried Charles in blankets, gifted Hank a tea set with different tea pots and cups and tea bags, Storm and Jean are being showed baby pictures of Reader (and Kitty is watching too, along with Evan). Reader's uncle is having beers with Logan, hugging Kurt and Evan, and handing them root beers. Scott is having him cheek pinched by Reader's grandma and grandpa, who keep calling him a good boy and how he is a handsome young man. Kitty and Kurt are now being given lessons on how to cook, as well as being fed food that Reader's family brought, which includes brisket, apple and pecan pie, chicken and rice casserole, some baked potatoes and roasted potatoes, and some Chick-fil-A if anyone was still hungry afterwards.

This is all... a lot to take in.

Um.

Reader.

Who are these people, and how can they all get adopted into your family? Please? These people are like, older friendly version of you. And they're all nice. And they feed them food and call them such nice people. Reader. Reader please, let them visit you and your family for the holidays. 🥺

(Woo-hoo!!!! I loved this one, @sugar-soda! It's about time we gave Reader a good family au!) (Especially since they get angst and horror so much!)

[battleline]

The Stella Problem

THE STELLA PROBLEM

AKA

HOW TO MESS UP A POTENTIALLY GREAT ANTAGONIST

Hoo boy, where do we begin with this one? Well, let’s start with the introduction and go from there.

Who is Stella?

Stella’s original design (Helluva Boss (Pilot))

Stella Goetia is the wife of Prince Stolas Goetia, one of the main cast members, who we first meet in the pilot briefly for a few seconds, having been splattered with cake when Blitzo drops in, telling her that he slept with her husband and runs off with the grimoire (being the thing he came for). The fallout from Stolas’ cheating on Stella is one of the major plot points within the show, with it almost always being prevalent in episodes involving Stolas.

Stella’s first appearance in the series proper (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

In ‘Loo Loo Land’, the episode starts with a brief flashback, where Stolas is stirred awake by Octavia’s crying for them, and we are given a glimpse of Stella, who had undergone a redesign between the pilot and now, and when Stolas tells her that Octavia is calling for them, Stella simply tells him to take care of her, and you can see her hogging the blankets.

Stella being furious (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

Later on, in present day, some times after Stolas and Blitzo’s affair, Stella is furiously shouting at him, going as far as to throw stuff, stating her disbelief that Stolas had slept with ‘an imp’ in their bed, getting more aggravated when Stolas brought up not having time to go to a motel, and after throwing one of their imps at Stolas, she calls him a ‘goddamn embarrassment’ before storming off

As you can tell by now, Stella is not the most pleasant person to be around. Even before the affair, it seems Stolas and Stella’s relationship is not the greatest, and Stolas’ affair seems to only have made things a lot worse. On top of that, she has a pretty nasty temper, throwing stuff around and shouting. On one hand, she has anger issues, but on the other hand, she was cheated on, and if the amount of revenge Reddit stories surrounding cheating that I listened to taught me anything, cheating really pisses people off. Although, it would seem that she was more angry about Stolas’ affair partner being an imp rather than the cheating, suggesting that she has a bit of classism about her.

We would not see Stella again for the rest of the episode (or the next two for that matter), but she would get a brief mention towards the end of the episode, when Octavia runs away from Stolas at Loo Loo Land, having grown sick of Stolas flirting with Blitzo throughout the episode. Stolas would come to find her again in a funhouse, and the two would have the following discussion:

Stolas and Octavia’s heart-to-heart talk (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

---------------------------------------------------------------

Stolas: I take it you are… not having fun.

Octavia: (crying) I didn’t even want to come here!

Stolas: I’m sorry, sweetie. I… I thought you loved it here.

Octavia: (sniffing) When I was a kid and my parents didn’t hate each other… and my dad didn’t flirt with some… weird red dickhead the entire time.

Stolas: I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened.

Octavia: (crying) I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it.

Stolas: You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.

---------------------------------------------------------------

This talk illuminated two things: one, Stolas and Stella’s relationship was at a point where they did not hate each other. Now, this could mean many things, but at the very least, things were better. Two, it is implied that they weren’t in love, suggesting that perhaps that they were in an arranged marriage (which would be confirmed in season two, but we will get to that soon). But I do want people to remember the above conversation when we do.

Stella speaking to Striker regarding killing Stolas (Harvest Moon Festival (S1, E5))

We would see Stella again in ‘Harvest Moon Festival’ towards the very end, being revealed to be the one who hired Striker, a cowboy-themed assassin, to kill Stolas. Striker reports that he failed to kill him, but he won’t fail again, and Stella angrily states that he better not, as she quotes:

“I want this cheating prick dead! I don’t care who you have to go through! MAKE IT HAPPEN!!”

Stella

Stolas, Octavia, and Stella at the dining table (Harvest Moon Festival (S1, E5))

We then cut to her pretty much stating this right in front of Stolas and Octavia, but neither seem to take notice, though Stolas does pause for a moment.

It would seem that Stella’s anger towards Stolas for his infidelity had finally reached a breaking point in which she now wants him dead, giving zero regards as to the consequences or the effect it could have on their daughter. Indeed, it would seem she would be an antagonist for I.M.P. and Stolas to overcome in a future episode… but let’s put a pin in that for now.

Unfortunately, this would be the last episode in which Stella has a speaking role in the season, although she would go on to make a silent cameo in ‘Ozzie’s’, when a image of her and Octavia are brought up to shame Stolas during the ‘House of Asmodeus’ song:

Ozzie showing an illusion of Stella to Stolas (OZZIE’S (S1, E7))

“You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all”

“I hope you didn’t give it up. So, you and him could get it on”

House of Asmodeus

Now, following this line, Stolas would go on to hide behind a menu in shame, most likely because he was ashamed to be dating an imp (thus caused a rift between him and Blitzo), but from the way Ozzie phrased those lines, it could imply that Stolas has regret for his actions, not just because of how he hurt Octavia, but perhaps for how he hurt Stella. Either that, or Ozzie had no idea (which is just as possible).

And that would be all for Season 1, and due to legal issues for ‘Queen Bee’ (which I will probably talk about for another day), we would skip to Season 2 nearly a year later. While what we saw of Stella was really short (amounting to 36 seconds of screen time within the entire first season), it would seem we had a potential for a very intriguing character.

Sure, all we saw of her so far was her telling Stolas to take care of Octavia, her yelling at Stolas over his affair, her yelling at Striker to not fail again, and then a silent cameo. But hey, surely Season 2 would finally give us some much needed development. Maybe we would get a glimpse of how she and Stolas met, a better look at what Stella was like before Blitzo, and maybe see how her relationship with Stolas had deteriorated. And maybe finally see what her and Octavia’s relationship is like. Heck, in February 2022, we learn that she has a brother in Andrealphus (described as Stolas’s shitty brother-in-law):

Andrealphus

So, yeah, it looked like we were in for something very neat… but what we got was…

The Circus (woo…)

After a long hiatus brought upon by an episode being stuck in legal limbo, the season 2 premiere came out, being ‘The Circus’, an episode that would go into Stolas’ past at two points in his life, being his childhood and to right before his affair with Blitzo, as well catching up with him after the events of ‘Ozzie’s’. Naturally, Stella would be in this episode.

The episode opens up on a child Stolas’ birthday, where he meets with his father Paimon, who proceeds to tell him what is expected of him as a Goetia, giving him the grimoire. He would also point out briskly that he is to be married, showing a… well, not so flattering pic of his to-be wife.

Child Stella tormenting two quieves (The Circus (S2, E1))

(Yeah, that’s what they’re called. Vivienne (or someone) made the conscious decision to name a species after a woman’s genital flatulence. Riveting 🙄)

And naturally, child Stolas is not enthused, crying on sight.

Okay, so Stella apparently was a little terror growing up. Okay, not too terrible, I mean, considering what we have seen of her in the first season, it would track that she grew up with anger issues her whole life, and it followed her well into adulthood. But it does confirm that Stolas and Stella were an arranged marriage… so perhaps, this could simply be her lashing out? I mean, Stolas wasn’t thrilled, so I doubt she would too.

Now, despite being shown this pic,  we never do see child Stella in person, this part of the episode being dedicated to Stolas meeting and spending the day with child Blitzo, culminating in him tricking Stolas into helping him rob the palace blind and give the loot to Blitzo’s asshole dad Cash. All of which is a whole nother beast. But let’s save that for another day.

We skip ahead 25 years later in the episode, where we see a grown up Stolas waking up and going about his morning, eventually seeing Stella on the phone:

Stella on the phone (The Circus (S2, E1))

She seems to ignore Stolas as she goes about talking loudly to someone on the phone talking about how being married still is not a big occasion, but apparently, ‘it’s not easy being married to a boring stiff.’, and brushes Stolas off when he tries to greet her. Seconds later, Stolas would frown and ask about a ‘Still Not Divorced Party’ that she is throwing, where she nonchalantly said she likes throwing parties, and it’s true either way, and then said he could come if he wants.

Okay, this is… nothing new. I mean, Stolas and Stella were already on the decline even before Stolas and Blitzo happened, if that flashback at the start of ‘Loo Loo Land’ was any indication, and since we know they were forced to marry, even more of a reason for Stella to not be kind to him. But hey, at least in this scene, she’s not yelling, like in 90% of the screen time she had in season one.

We then cut to the ‘Still Not Divorced’ party where we see Stella chatting with those two owls that Stella (her old design at least) was with in the Pilot and…

Stella with those two owls that were in the Pilot (The Circus (S2, E1))

(seriously, who are these two?)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Stella: (laughs loudly) No! Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It’s embarrassing! (sighs) I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass. (it’s shown that she said this right in earshot of Stolas, as the trio walks away, Stella giving a smug grin at him) Stella: What a pathetic fucking man

---------------------------------------------------------------

O-kay, this is before Stolas’ affair with Blitzo, right? I mean, we do see Blitzo sneaking around at the start of this part of the episode. If so, why is Stella being such a bitch here? I mean, I get she isn’t a pleasant person, but at least in season one, when we did see her, she had the excuse of Stolas cheating on her. Sure, it doesn’t justify trying to have him killed, but you could at least understand why she might not care for Stolas.

But here? All unprovoked and take note of what she said, because I will get into that soon.

So, after Stella leaves, Stolas and Blitzo reunite and we get a re-enactment of Blitz sneaking out with the grimoire from the Pilot, this time from Stolas’ perspective, and Stella simply shouts at him what the fuck was that, and Stolas smugly shout that it was the SOUND OF A FUCKING DIVORCE… even though in ‘Loo Loo Land’, he was being completely apologetic and said it was a spur of the moment thing and they didn’t have time for a motel, completely contradicting this scene, thus making it another point against this episode. But hey, at least it can’t get worse? Right?

Anyways, we cut to present day, after the events of ‘OZZIE’S’, where a heartbroken Stolas sings a song that’s supposed to be sorrowful, but just comes off as a bit wangsty, and then Stella comes in, wondering what he’s blubbering about, and Stolas asks what Stella is doing here and…

I like tormenting you

I like tormenting you

Tormenting you

Tor. Men. Ting. You.

(Okay, this would make more sense if this was in a video format, but imagine if the audio get lower and slower)

So… yeah, turns out Stella… is a psycho bitch, who just likes to make Stolas suffer because… well, there is no reason. She’s just into that shit.

And if that wasn’t enough, when Stolas calls her out for her cruelty and tells her that they’re getting that divorce… she tries to hit him.

So not only is she a psycho bitch, but she’s also a domestic abuser. Well, that’s a whole nother can of worms right there.

There’s so much to unpack here, but I feel we should at least cover the rest of her appearances in the series so far.

She would not appear again till ‘Western Energy’, but she does have a brief voiced cameo in ‘Seeing Stars’, the following episode (and another stinker at that), where Stolas is arguing with her while overseeing the ‘safe transferal’ of her possessions:

“What? No! I’m not turning her against you!” - Stolas (Seeing Stars (S2, E2))

Now this line could mean two different things. One, Stella is simply trying to start shit by bringing her up. Two, she is genuinely concerned (in her own way) that Stolas would try to turn her against her, which would be a legit concern in a messy divorce (this is coming from a child of such a divorce).

However, we have no way of knowing as Stella and Octavia had never interacted, like at all. Again, we’re gonna get to that, but this is another problem.

Anyways, we get to ‘Western Energy’, which opens up on Stolas, Stella, and…

…I’m sorry, who the fuck is this guy? (Western Energy (S2, E4))

Yeah, so we are joined by Stella’s brother, Andrealphus… and the show just acts like we should know who he is already.

Mind you, he has never made an appearance before this point. The only allusion we get that he existed (in-show) was Stella mentioning his name before she tries to slap Stolas in ‘The Circus’. All we get is that and that he’s apparently ‘arrogant’, according to Stolas.

Remember that tweet from February 2022, that first showed off Andrealphus? Yeah, apparently Viv and the writers thought that the tweet would suffice for an introduction, and they could just slip him into the show as if he’s always been there. This is a problem for so many reasons, the main being Vivienne and co, had already developed a bad rep for hiding lore and contextual details in supplementary media, such as Patreon or Q&A livestreams, as well as making tweets after a episode to explain something that really should had been in the episode to begin with. But not everyone has Twitter (or X as it’s called now), and unless someone showed him to you beforehand, you probably would have been confused as to who he is.

Like god damn, Viv, it’s not like there was a certain ‘Still Not Divorced’ party consisting of Goetias that Andrealphus could had easily been a part of, especially since he’s Stella’s brother, that would had not only introduced him but possibly established his role in the series, but naw, let’s just hope people seen that tweet and know who he is.

But let’s get back to Stella, shall we? Anyways, Stella and Andrealphus called Stolas here to discuss ‘compensation’ for his cheating, which amounts to some name-calling, and is quickly interrupted by Striker, who proceeds to kidnap Stolas (with Stolas catching on that Stella hired him to kill him).

We join them again halfway through the episode where Andrealphus and Stella are having tea at his palace, the two having some cheerful evil sibling banter… but then…

Andrealphus scheming… and Stella’s just sitting there (Western Energy (S2, E4))

---------------------------------------------------------------

Andrealphus: You silly minx, you (giggles). Though, you know, if your husband dies it won't turn out well for you.

Stella: He'll be dead; why wouldn't it?

Andrealphus: (somewhat concerned) Because, my dear sister, he's already produced an heir; when he dies, his duties, his possessions, his legions, it'll all pass to.... Via.

(Stella absentmindedly continues to drink without acknowledging him.)

Andrealphus: (annoyed) If you kill him, you would....

Stella: Laugh? Ha-

Andrealphus: (facepalms in anger) No, you stupid cow! You'd get nothing!... You're so lucky that you're attractive.

Stella: Well, what do you propose we do? He won't leave me anything willingly; he hates me almost as much as I hate him.

Andrealphus: Hmm. Well, this kind of situation is extremely unique; a Goetia has never behaved like this before. *stands up from his chair and walks behind Stella* But, with him alive, we have options. Opportunities. An eternity's a long time, my dear; I say we bide our time, and wait for our chance to... GAIN the upper hand.

Stella: (begins to pout and whine) Oohhhhhh, but I want him dead so badly!

Andrealphus: And he will be, in time, my fiery vixen. But, patience first; now, *hands her his customized phone* call off your mangy stray.

---------------------------------------------------------------

…Okay, so not only is she a psycho bitch, a domestic abuser…

Pictured above: a air-headed bimbo (Western Energy (S2, E4))

A DUMBASS.

I know I said Stella wanted Stolas dead, be damned the consequences, but they make her so narrow-minded that she does not realize that she would definitely get nothing, Andrealphus having to spell it out for her. In fact, that’s pretty much was the point of Andrealphus’ being in this episode: to tell Stella to tell Striker to not kill Stolas. You could have easily removed him and had Stella come to this conclusion herself… or better yet, since Striker would lose to Moxxie and Millie, just remove the scene altogether and have it be just another failure.

I could have bought that this narrow-mindedness was a product of her anger issues, because that has been established… but here? It’s because she’s dumb and she needs her big brother to tell her no. Not only does it already make her already wallowing character worse, but she is practically now playing second fiddle to her brother, making her less of a threat, and not helping Viv in beating the allegations of her female characters only be props to males. Also,  what is that incestuous vibe they got going there? Is that something that’s going to be important or be forgotten with the rest of the hanging plot threads?

And that’s pretty much all we see of her up to this point. It is possible that she will appear in the season finale (if the leaks from January 2023 are anything to go by), but considering there’s 5 episodes left in the season, and what we did get of her so far was… it’s bad. Bad, bad, bad.

So… what went wrong here?

Well, to put it in layman’s terms, they took a character with a lot of potential, a wife scorned by her unfaithful husband to the point of wanting him dead… and turned her into a one-note baddie whose sole purpose is to make Stolas miserable and nothing else… plus she’s stupid.

That’s pretty much the way to put it. And many people had voiced their dismay at this… and all the defenders and stans came out and tried to argue (or harass) people for voicing their displeasure with how this character was handled. So, I will try to voice why I feel that the writers here royally fucked up.

Point #1: Was this always fated to be? Was this a retcon? I don’t know, I barely know the lady!

So, one of the most common arguments that came up regarding Stella when ‘The Circus’ came out and messed everything up was:

“This was always how she was meant to be.”

“She was always a bad person.”

“Stella simps be mad, lol.”

I’m paraphrasing of course, but yeah, the consensus among the defenders and stans was that this was all part of Vivienne’s big plan, and she was always going to be this evil psycho bitch.

On the flip side, I had heard many fans (including the simps) complain that this was a retcon, that they had decided partway through production to just go full ‘I’m an evil piece of shit who strangles puppies and drinks childrens’ tears’ with her.

As for me, I personally disagree with the retcon… but not because it isn’t. It’s for the simple fact that for a retcon to occur,  there would have to be something to retcon to begin with!

This must bear reminding, she only had 36 seconds of screen-time in the entirety of season one. 36 seconds, little over half a minute. And it’s spread across these three scenes in two episodes (excluded the cameo in Ozzie's):

Loo Loo Land (Scene 1): she didn’t want to get up with Stolas to tend to Octavia, and she hogs the blankets.

Loo Loo Land (Scene 2): She’s pissed at Stolas for cheating on her with an imp, throwing imps and stuff around

Harvest Moon Festival (Scene 3): She wants Stolas dead for cheating on her, hiring Striker

In my opinion, the only scene that could undeniably be considered evil in this scenario is her hiring Striker to kill Stolas, but even then, it’s fueled by her wanting revenge for his infidelity (or rather, cheating with an imp). The other two were subjective, and could be interpreted many ways. All that could really be established before ‘The Circus’ was her and Stolas’ relationship was already on the decline and the affair really pissed Stella to the point that she wanted him dead. Everything else has been pretty up to interpretation, and that’s the problem.

On top of there only being 36 seconds of Stella, this was all over the course of a season, which lasted a year (excluding the delayed ‘Queen Bee’ which aired nearly two years later), and it would be around nine months before she and the series returned in ‘The Circus’. With what little there was of her, people had to use their imagination to determine what kind of character she would be:

Would she be a psychotic elitist racist, driven mad by the humiliation and rage of being cheated on with an imp? Or is someone fueled by the human desire to keep up appearances, beaten into her by a draconic hierarchy of Goetias who frowns upon the first sight of weakness? Does she see her daughter as a chess piece, intending to use her to further her agenda, or mold her into a replica of herself? Or does she truly love her daughter, which factors into why she loathes Stolas for ‘shattering’ their family? Hell, were she and Stolas friends at one point, or at least acquaintances? And was she capable of speaking like a normal person instead of screaming almost all her lines?

There were so many ways Stella’s character could have been utilized, some of which I had seen done in several fanfictions and fan comics over the course of the series. With such possibilities created expectations and hype that probably got a bit too high, but surely, if at the very least, after a very decent season one, they wouldn’t mess this up?

Well, they did.

Of all the ways they could had gone with Stella, they settled for what I believe to be the lowest denominator of a personality which is simply:

‘I am evil… maniacal laugh’

Now, I can already hear someone saying:

‘Oh, you’re just mad that Stella didn’t turn out the way you wanted.’

Granted, that is a fair argument. Again, with how little we got of her and how long the wait between episodes are, it is possible that people had set their expectations too high and they got themselves overhyped. But counterpoint: this argument only works if the character still turned out good and you just weren’t happy with the end results.

Emphasis on ‘if the character still turned out good’.

This ‘characterization’ Stella got in ‘The Circus’ amounts to ‘She was evil from the day she was born, and she hates Stolas. She hates Stolas very much.’ That’s it. That’s the rub. And following that episode, we could also add that ‘she’s dumb and narrow-minded, with her brother being a bit too infatuated with her’.

One of the big problems with this character we got is that it’s so flat. Like cardboard cutout-flat. This is infuriating because this is the same show that gave us characters that are layered and complex: you got a foul-mouth crazy clown in Blitzo who harbors a lot of guilt and self-hatred. You got a perverted demon prince in Stolas who might want something more with his impish plaything. You have a neurotic straight man in Moxxie, struggling with his own self-image. Hell, even Loona has some sort of a heart under that cold surly front. There’s also Millie, but that’s another issue for another day.

The point is, all these characters had depth and nuances to them… and Stella does not. I am not saying Stella being irredeemably evil is bad. There are several villains designed like this that are loved and applauded. In fact, later that year, we would get a villain like Stella, but done a lot better.

Jack Horner (Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022))

Meet Jack Horner. He is one of the three antagonists from ‘Puss In Boots: The Last Wish’. Compared to the far more sympathetic Goldilock and the Three Bears and the force of nature that is Death, Jack Horner is as evil as you can get, intending to use the Wishing Star to hoard all the magic to himself, callously treating his men as expendable till it comes down to just him, and is willing to do anything, going as far as to shoot a puppy (in the face by the way, why you ask), that even his ‘conscience’ (the Ethical Bug that’s clearly supposed to be Jiminy Cricket) outrights calls him a ‘irredeemable monster’. His response?

“Woah, woah. What took you so long, idiot?”

However, despite this, Jack is considered one of the best parts of the film, many finding him hilarious and hammy, yet somehow managing to be a menacing threat. But what made him stand out was at the time, there was this belief that irredeemable villains (or rather ‘evil for the sake of being evil’), examples being like the villains from the older Disney movies or from Saturday morning cartoons, were considered boring, less interesting than other villain archetypes, such as tragic villains or twist villains (which was Disney’s go-to for villains when not using generational trauma). Jack was considered a breath of fresh air, managing to be a memorable villain without needing any complexity or sympathetic qualities.

Now, where did Jack succeed and Stella fail?

To begin, it’s hard to make a fair comparison, as Stella is an antagonist from an indie animated adult series while Jack is from a film made by Dreamworks, and a part of a famous franchise that is Shrek. Be that as it may, I do strongly believe that Jack Horner is a good example of how to do a villain like Stella properly.

Now, Jack only has five and a half minutes of screen time and by god, does he make every scene he appears in count. Whether it’s John Mulaney’s voice-acting, the comedic timing, or just how he owns how evil he is. And he is given a backstory, where he was overshadowed by Pinocchio of all people, but the movie makes no attempt to try and make him sympathetic. They even lampshades this in a scene where he said he didn’t have much… and then proceeded to describe a very well-off lifestyle.

I do believe that why ‘I like tormenting you’ Stella doesn’t hit the same marks is that we initially had no clear indication that Stella is this horrid, irredeemable monster that hated Stolas just for breathing in season one. Sure, she wanted him dead for cheating, but this takes place in Hell, where murder and destruction happens on a daily basis. Aside from that, we had no idea how Stella treated Stolas before Blitzo came along, or how she is when she isn’t being pissed off.

Even then, all of Stella’s evilness in Season Two pretty much revolved around just hating on Stolas for no reason and wanting him dead. That’s it. It’s the same ‘Stolas is (insult)’ in the little time she has that would get old if it had time to get old. In fact, literally all but one scene with her revolves around Stolas of some sorts. The one scene that didn’t was her and Andrealphus interacting in ‘Western Energy’, and I would say that, aside from Stella being portrayed as stupid, her banter with Andrealphus was one of her better scenes and that’s a very low bar to set.

It is possible that this kind of characterization would have worked if Stella was just given more time in season one to establish this ‘I like tormenting you’ mentality. I’m not saying add her in every episode willy-nilly, but if she had even a minute or two more of screen time they could have at least made her characterization in The Circus easier to digest and nip all the hype and rampant interpretations in the bud. Another idea, though harder to pull off, would have been to just remove her from the season altogether. She was already barely in the show to begin with, and maybe with some tweaking, she could have made her debut in season two, since that’s when she became more prominent. That way, people aren’t left waiting nearly two years speculating what kind of person Stella is only to be disappointed.

Even then though, there’s no guarantee that doing this would had salvaged canon Stella, as there’s a very glaring problem that would be:

Point #2: Screams of Silence: The Story of Stolas G.

Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse and Implied Rape

In ‘The Circus’, there are two scenes here that carry some very heavy implications. In the ‘Still Not Divorced’ party scene, as you may recall above, she says this line here:

Stella: (laughs loudly) No! Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It’s embarrassing! (sighs) I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.

And at the very end of the episode, when Stolas said they were getting the divorce…

Yeah, so it is pretty much shown that Stella is abusive to Stolas, both mentally and physically, and judging from Stella’s line at the party, it’s possible that Stella had also raped Stolas till they had conceived Octavia.

Now, this is a very dark and possibly interesting turn for the series: it is very rare to see a woman abusing a man in media, and considering how Stolas has homosexual leanings, that and the possible ‘rape’ could make for commentary regarding the awful things the LGBTQ+ community faced.

Honestly, it would have made for a good story… if this wasn’t Helluva Boss, a series that was supposed to be a comedy. A COMEDY. And here Viv and the writers go and drop both domestic abuse and rape in a show that would go on to have scenes like this:

Dicks in the wall (Exes and Oohs (S2, E3))

And this:

Not heard: Fizzarolli describing Ozzie’s dick (Oops (S2, E6))

Before people go and complain, I am aware that there have been dark scenes in otherwise light-hearted shows, and Helluva Boss is a black comedy, so dark stuff is to be expected. But there’s a very fine line you have to be careful of when inserting stuff, lest you have scenes like the attempted rape scene in Beethoven’s 2nd.

No. I am not making that up. In Beethoven’s 2nd, a family film mind you, there is a scene where a guy attempted to rape the eldest daughter. Nothing physical happens, just him locking her in the room with him, and Beethoven ends up saving her, but yeah, imagine finding something like that in a film aimed at kids.

Up to this point, Helluva Boss had been a show that didn’t take itself too seriously. Sure, there were some dramatic scenes here and there, especially when it came down to ‘Truth Seekers’ and ‘OZZIE’S’, especially regarding Blitzo and Stolas. But even then, it was mostly relationship drama, which is par for the course for most comedy series.

But the two things that are very dangerous to handle in a comedy series, if not done tactfully, is domestic abuse or rape, and now, Helluva Boss had pulled that pin on the proverbial grenade.

There are several problems with this and I will try to tackle them. First off, let’s address the ‘possible’ rape allegation.

Note how I have been saying ‘possible’ for the past few paragraphs? Well, here’s the thing: like Stella herself season one, it’s all up to interpretation. Yes, it’s possible to see where people drew the conclusion that Stella did what she did to Stolas, but it is also very possible that Stolas simply was not attracted and therefore saw no point in trying to enjoy it. Whether this is because he was gay (fun fact: Stolas has not been officially confirmed to be gay. Look it up. I mean, it’s obvious he’s not straight, but it’s possible he could still be bi (or pan). So if you wanna ship girls with Stolas, go nuts), or were simply not into Stella in particular, no one can say for certain.

Also,  there’s a line that I feel people either hadn’t noticed or ignored in Stella’s conversation:

“I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.”

Unlike Stolas being bad in bed, this line pretty much spelt it out that Stella didn’t want to have sex with Stolas either. But since an heir is what was expected of them, they pretty much had to, with Stella probably being the one who had to make the effort. A fellow critic, Schjiro, explained it to me as ‘Emotionless Fornication’, where neither party had any feeling whatsoever when engaging in intercourse. So, as far as we know, neither party wanted to do it, but had to in order to produce a precautionary heir, with Stella being the one to make the effort. Again, it is possible to see how one drew the horrid conclusion, but one thing to remember is that implication does not mean facts. Not to mention if Stella really did ‘rape’ Stolas, this would in turn mean that Octavia was a product of rape, and that is a new level of dark that I feel Helluva Boss is very ill-equipped to tackle. And even then, why is no one paying attention to the fact that Stella herself didn’t want to have sex with Stolas? That I will cover in the next point.

Now, for the domestic abuse aspect of the relationship.

Unlike the rape, there’s less room for implications, as canon Stella really took no prisoners when it comes to laying out the verbal abuse. And with it comes mental abuse. That part is covered. However, when it comes to physical abuse… that is where things get a bit wonky.

Aside from throwing objects at him in ‘Loo Loo Land’, this is the only instance in the series where Stella had physically attacked Stolas directly. Many fans/stans had taken how Stolas caught her hand so easily as her having done this many times in their marriage and Stolas had gotten so used to the physical abuse to expect it. While a plausible theory, one of the issues I have with this is if you recall that image from before...

Stella’s slap could have been seen a mile away. Now, arguably, Stolas could have just taken it, having grown accustomed to the abuse, but it’s just as plausible that Stolas caught it because it was so easily choreographed. Even then, there’s another issue I have with this.

Can Stella even physically hurt Stolas? No, I’m serious here. Can Stella actually hurt Stolas and make him bleed and stuff? It is something I have seen in many fanarts depicting the abuse, but the thing is, it was established in ‘Harvest Moon Festival’ that demon royalty can only be killed by blessed weapons. However, the show never establishes if the same rule applies to being hurt.

What I mean is, there has never been an in-show occurrence where Stolas was hurt by anything that wasn’t a blessed weapon. The only time we ever see Stolas being hurt by something at all is in this Instagram post here (after ‘Truth Seekers’):

Stolas apparently needed his arm bandaged due to a bear trap. Now, this would have made Stella being a physical abuser work… but the thing is: the instagram posts aren’t exactly canon. They do allude to things that do happen in the series proper but I believe Viv went on record to say that they were mostly for fun and weren’t to be taken seriously. So that’s a bust. But even if Stolas was able to be hurt by normal means, there’s another problem: look at ‘Western Energy’:

Striker using a ‘blessed’ weapon (Western Energy (S2, E4))

Striker here was using a blessed weapon to torture Stolas, and was gonna use it to kill him (until Stella called off the hit). And because of it, Stolas was in pretty bad shape. Now, it could be argued that Striker made his dagger ‘blessed’ so that when torturing Stolas, it would hurt more, inflicting maximum pain before going for the kill. But the thing is…

Stolas, tortured to an inch of his life by blessed weapons, was completely and utterly fine within a week as of 'Oops'. And yes, it has been a week. Earlier in ‘Oops’, Striker flat out states that he had a ‘royal on the ropes just last week’ (being Stolas). Like god damn, if Stolas could easily shrug off injuries inflicted by blessed weapons, what does that say for anything Stella could do? It’s not like Stella’s hands are made of blessed metal. And Stella has not been shown to have any sort of powers or abilities that could be considered harmful.

Now, I’m not saying that men can’t be abused by women, clearly they can. And there has been a couple of times in media it has happened. But the problem I am having is Stolas time and time again is proven to be a powerful demon prince capable of fucking shit up, yet we are expected to believe that Stella could ever lay a hand on Stolas.

In fact, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to say Stella abusing Stolas would be like if Lois Lane was abusive to Superman. Like, be a total piece of shit all you want to this person, the only reason you’re still kicking is because the other guy is too polite, too chicken-shit, or just doesn't care enough to raze you into the ground.

The only edge Stella would have on Stolas is the fact that she is more social and being a woman, she could easily play the wounded gazelle and manipulate the Ars Goetia family into turning on Stolas, not to mention there’s Octavia to consider, arguably Stolas’ biggest Kryptonite by far. However, even then, that’s debatable, on the fact that Stolas by all accounts should outrank Stella.

If Stolas and Stella’s marriage failed, it would more than likely be blamed on Stella more than anything, and as Andrealphus pointed out, she would end up with nothing. And to be frank, it’s not like Stolas had been facing any actual legal repercussions for his affair with Blitzo. As it stands, Stella is only a threat to Stolas… because the writers want her to be.  Never mind that Stolas is stronger, has more importance and the fact that Stella is pretty much a joke next to her, which makes the fact that we’re supposed to fear her as this domestic abuser even more laughable. And on that side note, if Stolas is a battered spouse who suffered under Stella for so long, why the hell did he agree to meet her and Andrealphus at that cafe? You would think that a victim of abuse, even if they had gathered the courage to leave, would think twice before agreeing to meet a person that physically and verbally abuses you. Especially if it leads to an assassin kidnapping you and torturing you.

Even then, that barely scratches the surface of why this domestic abuse angle doesn't work.

Now, as it had been established, canon Stella as of now has little personality beyond hating Stolas and being a psycho bitch. The line ‘I like tormenting you’ sold that pretty well. But here’s the thing though:

The face of an awful domestic abuser… apparently

Am I expected to believe that this woman is a heartless abuser, let alone take her seriously?

Remember, this series was meant to be a comedy, and Stella, in every other scene except the one at the end of ‘The Circus’, had been established as a loud-mouthed, crass, entitled, bratty bully. You know, the kind of antagonist you expect out of a comedy. Yet, here they are, trying to shoehorn in a domestic abuse plotline that’s supposed to be taken as serious. If this was in a series like Bojack Horseman, or hell, even a younger-focused series like Avatar: The Last Airbender,  where drama and serious storytelling take priority over funny moments, this might have worked.

But the thing is, there’s a reason abusive women characters worked. Case in point:

Lady Tremaine & Mother Gothel

These two are probably some of the first characters that come to mind when you think of abusive characters. And they share a lot of similarities to Stella herself. Granted, their abuse was more aimed at children rather than a spouse, but they are good templates for what makes a good ‘abusive’ character.

Lady Tremaine (otherwise known as The Stepmother) is a status-focused woman who carries herself with a sense of superiority and smugness (not unlike Stella) strongly mistreated her stepdaughter Cinderella, forcing her to serve her and her biological daughters as a servant. While we don’t see this abuse on-screen (as this was a Disney movie for kids), every time she was on screen, you worry for Cinderella, especially in scenes like when she is talking to Cinderella from her bed in the bedroom, when she raises her voice. Her scenes are pretty much devoid of the light-heartedness and comedy you expect out of a film with talking mice, and despite never raising a hand towards Cinderella, she’s god-damn scary, and is considered one of Disney’s better villains, up there with the likes of Maleficent (who by the way, would be voiced by the same voice actress years later). And like Stella, she isn’t given a sympathetic backstory (though the live action remake many decades later would try to humanize her), and while nowadays, she might not be as compelling, she’s the poster child for the Wicked Stepmother archetype.

Mother Gothel is portrayed in a way more akin to how abusers would act in real life. When we first meet her, it’s established that she’s a selfish vain woman obsessed with maintaining her youth, hoarding a magical flower for herself to do so. And when this flower was taken and used to cure the ailing queen, Gothel goes as far as kidnapping the queen’s baby Rapunzel, who retained the flower’s power, when she couldn’t simply take her hair. Since then, Mother Gothel raised Rapunzel as if she was her own and pretty much emotionally and psychologically manipulates her into staying within the tower, her roots taking hold so deep that Rapunzel herself dare not defy her, out of fear of being a bad daughter to her, and Gothel does all this with such a saccharine demeanor. However, there are moments where the mask slips, like at the end of her song ‘Mother Knows Best’ where she flat out told her never to ask to leave the tower again, or towards the climax of the film, where she willingly put Rapunzel in danger with the Stabbington Brothers just to prove her point and scare her into coming back with her. But the mask is pretty much off when Rapunzel wises up to her manipulations and she flat out willing to force her into servitude to her just so she can maintain her youth forever. Oh, and side note, in the animated series, she abandoned her own biological daughter so she could steal and hide Rapunzel. Real mother of the year there. I’m not a psych expert, so I can’t go into all how Mother Gothel is a stellar example of an abusive villain, but someone that Stella wishes she could be.

So why does Stella not work like these two? Well, a major factor to consider is: domestic abuse is not a joking matter. Lady Tremaine and Mother Gothel are characters that are often written in a way that they are treated as serious threats, with their horrible actions never played for laughs. Sure, Gothel does have a few funny moments, but it never takes away from the horrible things she did in the film. This is often applied to almost every abusive character in media, from cartoons to movies. When done properly, the abusive characters are almost never played for laughs, and their abusive actions, be it towards spouses or children, are never taken lightly. If abuse is ever treated as a joke, it is usually done in poor taste… or you’re South Park or someone into edgy humor.

Stella doesn’t work because she is a supposed abuser in a show that plays physical abuse for laughs. In other words, she is:

Jeffrey Fecalman (Family Guy, Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q. (S10, E3))

Jeffrey Fecalman, or just Jeff, is a minor one-shot character that appeared in ‘Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q.’ (he did actually appear a few seasons earlier in a scene in ‘Jerome’s The New Black’) in the season ten episode of Family Guy, and hoo boy, this episode is considered one of Family Guy’s worst episodes for its very poor handling of the subject matter.

The problems were numerous: one, the abuse victim Brenda is the sister of Quagmire, who is infamous for his sexual exploits that would not fly today in the current tv environment, taking advantage of women just like his sister. Two, the way the main cast handled the situation is so awful, from victim blaming, to Joe the cop not arresting Jeff when he flat out is abusing her right in front of him, to deciding to kill Jeff on the belief that abusers never change, getting so much about domestic abuse wrong.

And lastly… well, Jeff is characterized as an unsympathetic piece of shit who beats Brenda over the littlest things, yet for some reason, Brenda refuses to leave him, and has no personality beyond that. Sounds familiar? Jeff is pretty much Stella, but over ten years earlier. And like Stella, Jeff is portrayed in such a ham-fisted way that he is impossible to take seriously as a domestic abuser. And that should be a warning that you have done something severely wrong.

Now, I should state this, because I recall a conversation on Twitter I had when talking about Stella a year ago,  when I criticized just how too cartoony Stella was to be a domestic abuser. A person did call me out, saying that they knew someone just like Stella, down to her demeanor. I am by no means trying to say that people who behave just like Stella or Jeff can’t exist. After all, reality is stranger than fiction. And I am sorry that you had to put up with someone like that and I hope you’re doing well.

That being said, it does not take away from the fact that Jeff and Stella are terrible as abusive villains, not just because they act in such a way that’s impossible to take seriously, but because of the world/series they live in.

Jeff is a serious domestic abuser in Family Guy, a show that is infamous for all sorts of abuse that is always played for laughs, especially towards Butt Monkey poster child Meg Griffin. Hell, this episode is immediately after another infamous episode where Meg called out her family for their abuse… but then proceeds to stay and take the abuse so they wouldn’t lash out at each other. Needless to say, it’s no surprise that Family Guy got lambasted for this episode.

But what about Stella? Well, on top of Blitzo treating Moxxie like crap and disrespecting him time and time again, we get lovely scenes like this in the very next episode of Helluva Boss.

Shown: Loona kicking Blitzo in the balls (Seeing Stars (S2, E2))

In this also very divisive episode, Loona treats Blitzo, her adoptive father, like absolute dogshit, beating him up in the first image for offering constructive criticism over her job as a receptionist (which we never seen her do since the pilot), letting Octavia slip in and steal the book (probably out of spite for Blitz), disregarding Blitz’s orders to find Octavia until she had a ‘change of heart’ when Blitz and Stolas are taken to the studios, and lastly, Blitz, feeling sudden remorse for threatening to replace her (even though she dared him to do it) tries to apologize… only to get kicked in the balls. And mind you, this is right after a touching scene with Octavia, where Loona told her to cut her dad some slack (someone who she had zero interactions with beforehand) because they screwed up… when Blitz really hadn’t screwed up at all in the series that we had seen. It all comes off as very hollow.

And not once is Loona’s abuse and disrespect of Blitzo treated with a modicum of seriousness. Hell, I’ve seen many people rush to Loona’s defense, arguing that Loona was justified because of her past and that she didn’t like being touched. Hell, one person tries arguing that Blitzo used micro-aggression. I got the whole ‘media literacy is dead’ for speaking up about Loona’s behavior. It’s all something that we are supposed to just laugh and find amusing…

One question though… WHERE THE FUCK WAS ANY OF THIS DEFENSE FOR STELLA?!

This is the very reason domestic abuse is not something you can just drop in a show, let alone a comedy that uses physical slapstick as a joke. Because if you drop in a domestic abuse story and play it straight for an episode, but then turn around and do an episode where another person do the same shit for the funnies, it causes a massive tone inconsistency (something Helluva Boss is infamous for now) and confusion, making people wonder if they are supposed to laugh or take things seriously. Even then, doing the abuse for the funnies gets old real quick, which is a problem Family Guy constantly combats with to this day.

Simply put, if you’re going to make a villain an abuser, you best be prepared to handle them seriously, and make sure it doesn’t go against the kind of show you’re running. Otherwise, don’t get mad when people get upset.

That being said, now is the time to tackle the last problem about Stella:

Point #3: Making Stella look bad so Stolas looks good

A very common complaint that people had concerning Stella following ‘The Circus’ was that Stella was written the way she was so that Stolas, her husband and one of the main characters, would appear better in terms of morality. And hoo boy, there is so much truth to this statement than you realize.

But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s get familiar with Stolas.

Stolas Goetia is a prince from the Ars Goetia family, based on the demon of the same name. He is Stella’s husband, and the father of Octavia, and his affair with Blitzo is a major plot point within the series.

He’s a very divisive character in the fandom: either you love him and would die for him… or you think he’s the worst thing ever and should go die in the ditch. Regardless, his character in season one was one of intrigue: he is similar in some ways to Stella, treating imps, Blitzo included, as lesser races, and constantly flirts (to a very uncomfortable degree) and condescends Blitzo on several occasions. In fact, some fans goes as far as to say he’s sexually coercing Blitz, if the nature of their deal is anything to go by (to make a long story short, in ‘Murder Family’, he proposed the infamous full moon deal where he and Blitz must have sex for the book… while Blitz is running for his life from Satanist cannibals). Yeah, not a very good look.

Not to say he was without good points, as he loves his daughter Octavia dearly, but Stolas is a very flawed individual whose affair and behavior had an effect on the people around him, Stella and Octavia included, and it was for these flaws that he and Blitz were called out in ‘House of Asmodeus’ and Stolas ends up creating a rift between him and Blitz as a result of it. While Stolas may be divisive, his character was complex and intriguing, and hey, it’s not everyday that you see a flawed queer character in media. The keyword being ‘was’. Yeah, Stella wasn’t the only victim of ‘The Circus’.

Pictured: A very sad boi (The CIrcus (S2, E1))

So, as mentioned in Point #1, ‘The Circus’ served as the backstory of Stolas, revealing how he was arranged to marry to Stella at a young age, and to get him to cease his ‘bitch crying’ from his less than stellar father, he took him to the eponymous ‘circus’, where Stolas meets Blitzo as a kid (that’s an issue for another day), Paimon ‘buys’ Blitzo for a day and Blitzo’s dad have him rob the place with no consequences and serve no purpose other to maybe let Blitzo know that Stolas had a grimoire?

25 years later, we find out Stella is always a P.O.S. and Blitzo comes back into his life, and rather than it being a sordid affair that happened all the sudden… it is now Stolas really misread the situation and thought Blitz was coming onto him and Blitz only fucked him out of pity (another issue for another day). We then cut to the next morning, where we get a recap of the pilot scene with Stella, except Stolas proudly brag that it was the ‘sound of a fucking divorce’, which contrasts how apologetic he was in ‘Loo Loo Land’ (Vivienne said it was a ‘high’ Stolas was experiencing at the moment but eh…).

Then we cut to the present day, and the scene above. Stolas is sad, takes antidepressants, and begins to ‘lament’ about his love life. Except, he’s not lamenting how badly he hurt Blitz or anything… he lamenting how he misread Blitzo not being in love with him. I mean, that is a problem, but not the right one to be focusing on.

Anyways, the song ends with Stella’s interruption, and we get the infamous ‘I like tormenting you’ scene, but there’s a line here that bears reading:

“I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn’t do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life… I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now.”

Stolas

So… yeah, you may notice how unbelievably ‘sad’ Stolas was portrayed in this episode. Well, I hope you enjoy this sad gay owl because this is Stolas’ character now. That’s right, gone is the complex, morally dubious owl who arranged a deal with this random imp to fuck him for his book, whose affair that strained his relationship with his daughter and made his wife want to kill him. Here now is a wangsty owl who’s sad that the imp he knew only for a day, who robbed him and then try to rob him again of his grimoire only to fuck him out of pity, and is a poor, poor victim of his evil wife who he was forced to marry and couldn’t divorce for some reason for his daughter.

And this here marks one of the major reasons I did not like the direction they took with Stella. By making Stella a flat evil gay husband beater of a wife, they’re absolving Stolas of his affair with Blitzo. If you think I’m overexaggerating, just take a look at this line in ‘Western Energy’

“Andrealphus, cheating implies there was a betrayal. This woman never gave two shits about me or our very much arranged marriage. As far as I’m concerned, this divorce is far overdue.”

Stolas

Like I said, absolving him of cheating. I’m not going to get into the argument of whether or not it’s morally correct to cheat on someone who treats you like crap. However, I’m of the belief that two wrongs don’t make a right. His cheating may or may not have hurt Stella, but it certainly hurt Octavia, and I find it weird that he apologizes to Octavia for his affair (that he continued to have) but not the woman he cheated on. Not to mention, as of time of writing, he isn’t brought to task on any of his other wrongdoings so far in season two.

He doesn’t reflect on his elitism and racism towards imps, he doesn’t reflect on how his cheating had hurt his family, or how kinda messed up his deal with Blitzo is. He’s just sad that Blitz doesn’t share his feelings. Hell, they never even had that conversation about their falling out after Ozzie’s, unless you count the text messages at the end of ‘Western Energy’. I mean, it could change with ‘Full Moon’, the very next episode to be released, but I’m not feeling hopeful.

Back to Stella, it speaks volumes how at the same time Stolas is made to be this poor sad perpetual victim, Stella is made to be this psychotic abuser. Which really sucks because Vivienne said that Stolas and Stella was supposed to be this whole thing where not one person was in the complete right. Yet, here we are, with Stolas being good and Stella being  evil, with no nuance, complexity, or all that jazz. It definitely doesn’t help that Stella only had 36 seconds of screen time while Stolas had way more, making the imbalance even worse.

Not to mention that in ‘Loo Loo Land’, Octavia flat out mentioned that they didn’t used to hate each other. Yet from what we saw in ‘The Circus’, Stella… always hated Stolas. This could mean one of three things: one, Stolas somehow managed to hide the fact that Stella hates and possibly abuses him for 17 years. Two, Octavia is so sheltered and god-damn oblivious (or stupid) that she could not see her mom obviously hating on her father. Or three, this line was completely forgotten by Vivienne and her writers and should be disregarded. Any of these three does not scream good writing in my eyes.

While a simple black and white dynamic isn’t the worst thing, that was not what was set up. Stolas was flawed. Stella was flawed. They were both shitty people who handled their dysfunctional relationship poorly and it hurt their daughter. To simply change that into where the closeted gay owl is in the right while the evil straight swan woman is in the wrong just comes off as boring.

Another issue I have with this is… why is Stolas getting the preferential treatment? Yes, Stolas is the one being abused and insulted by the woman she was forced to marry… but that doesn’t quite change the fact that Stella herself was forced into the same arranged marriage. She was forced to produce a precautionary heir with Stolas. As TV Tropes put it, she’s drowning in the same pool as Stolas, and there’s that whole incestuous vibe going on with Andrealphus going on, implying not so good things. Yet, Stella is given no sympathy, not from the writers, not from a lot of the fans, nothing. I’m not saying Stella is justified in her horrible actions, she’s not, but the fact is a lot of fans just write her off because the writers chose to depict her as this flat villain. There are examples of many villains that would go on to do horrible things but have sad and/or tragic backgrounds that while does not justify their actions, it allows you to understand how they got to be the way they are.

Examples include a lot of the rogues’ gallery from Batman or Spiderman, Azula from ‘The Last Airbender’, Goro Akechi from ‘Persona 5’, Tai Lung from ‘Kung Fu Panda’ or Lord Shen from the sequel, Homelander or Soldier Boy from ‘The Boys’. Hell, Jack Horner from earlier would count. The list goes on and on. There are villains who go on to do the most heinous things, in spite of their backstories, yet they would all go on to have fans who like them.

Which brings to another point that irks me: the treatment the fans of Stella get. If you had been in the Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel fandom long enough, you would find that it is not a friendly place. I won’t get too much into it, but let’s just say criticism, good faith or not, was a big no-no, and questioning the questionable choices Viv and her writers make will get you harassed or labeled a misogynist or a homophobe.

When ‘The Circus’ came out, anyone who voiced their liking for Stella got it pretty bad, as fans/stans took anyone who liked her as a problematic person who supports her horrible actions and hates gays like Stolas or something to that effect. While it could be possible that some people do think that, others certainly don’t. And it really sucks because Stella fans get it the worse, especially compared to other abusive characters’ fans, such as Crimson (a homophobic mob boss who flat out hits his son on screen and murdered his wife) and Valentino (a pimp who rapes Angel Dust, a fan favorite). It was ostracizing to many fans who just wanted to enjoy their favorite character.

And I feel as the series goes on, it will probably get worse.

Closing words

So, where does that leave us now?

Well, unless someone from the development side of things speaks up, we will never know for sure what decisions were made that lead to the characters we are given today, but what we do know for certain is Stella got shafted. And shafted good.

An abysmally low screentime of 36 seconds in season one alone. Many ways that her story could have developed, only to go with the most barebone and arguably laziest direction imaginable. Even then, her character archetype was done better by villains such as Jack Horner. Her being an abuser and a possible rapist clashes with the tone of the show, as well as her given character, and again is done much better by other characters.And worse of all, her fans get shat on by other fans of the show.

As of today, she is a one note flat villain who serves no purpose but to make Stolas more sympathetic in spite of all of his problems that are still unaddressed and to now play second fiddle to her brother who literally was dropped into the show with no fanfare but a tweet from over a year earlier. We still have no idea what her relationship is to her daughter, but it is safe to assume that it will probably not be good (or if it is good, it would be because Octavia cannot see how obviously evil Stella or her brother is) and that’s even if it gets touched upon at all.

While there are other issues plaguing Helluva Boss (such as the treatment of female characters, especially Millie and Loona, or the fact that a show about imps running a murder business has hardly any imps running a murder business), Stella stands out as a shining example of how to botch a possibly compelling antagonist, and serves as a bitter reminder of what we could had versus what we have now.

Now, I should state that a lot of this is introspection and opinions on my part, and I’m sure if I were to show this to people on Twitter, they would rip it apart and call me a media illiterate fool who knows jack-shit about anything, and that’s if they don’t try to harass and dox me for talking at lengths about Stella of all people. Who knows with this fandom nowadays,

If you do not agree with any of this, I am more than willing to hear you out, but I won’t promise that I will change my stance. It’s all about having an open dialogue.

As for why I did all this? I cannot say for certain, but I guess I just wanted to share my two cents on why Stella failed so hard as a character for me, and how I wished she could have been so much better than what we ended up getting. That and possibly out of spite to all the people who insulted me for having opinions about this show and how Viv lets all of that bullshit go unchecked.

Well, I guess that is all for now. I guess I will see you all the next time I decide to try and do something like this again. If I ever try to do something like this again. Who knows. Thanks for reading and hearing me out. Also, I do want to apologize if all of this looks wonky to you, first time posting an actual blog and due to the image limit, I had to fix a few things so it would make sense. If there's any issues, let me know.

[its-mekjt]

Favourite parts of 3×95 (potential spoilers below the break)

PART ONE

▪︎ ashley's photo of sam

▪︎ chepeku ad. could have made me think it's a perfume ad.

▪︎ ESSEK THELYSS

▪︎ they got tusk love oh my days

▪︎ WOO HOO SHOPPING EPISODE

▪︎ oh my god, having parts of fcg/things that remind them of fcg in their outfits. i'm on my floor.

▪︎ lesbians with the matching corsets. it's a canon event i fear

▪︎ i just know that armoury went out for drinks that night

▪︎ the pumats + their existential crisis

▪︎ "HIGHWAY ROBBERY" (honestly surprised they didn't try to steal it)

▪︎ sugar daddy dorian storm (and Laura's face as he hands over 2,500 gold. I can just imagine imogen going 'mhm. that's gay'.)

▪︎ do the pumat's have a soul?

▪︎ "do you want- eh we're the same."

▪︎ chetney pock o'pea. maths wizz. high school maths teachers across the world are terrified of you.

PART TWO

▪︎ essek constantly misses leg day

▪︎ 28 persuasion to make essek join their sleepover

▪︎ DORIAN WANTS TO SEE THE SHOW SO HE WILL SEE THE SHOW

▪︎ matt's description of the show. i love it.

▪︎ laudna i love you, please come to the theatre with me and tell people to, respectfully, stfu with me

▪︎ ESSEK QUOTING CADUCEUS: it's not pain that makes people. It's love (crying)

▪︎ LAUDNA QUOTING FCG: it's good to make every day a smiley day (on my bedroom floor sobbing and throwing up)

▪︎ orym keeps looking to the right. (WHO'S ON THE RIGHT. SOMEBODY PLEASE REMIND ME I DON'T REMEMBER. LIAM O'BRIEN STOP MAKING ME SCREAM INTO MY PILLOW)

▪︎ YEAH, THIEVING IS THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE (why did i think ashton was gonna go for that fucking huge sword earring from the beginning of the campaign)

▪︎ "chetney's sitting in the front row, legs out, slumping in the chair, baguette in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other. fucking riveted." (that's an insight into my daily life)

▪︎ chetney and dorian are my two personalities while i'm zoned out

▪︎ love how they all thought it was kiri (i did too)

▪︎ chetney and his delusions + cloaca

▪︎ why did i think orym was going to get in the bag of holding

▪︎ i fucking love dorian storm. you don't know how much i love him.

▪︎ "i saw my mom mess with time." essek's internal monologue must have gone insane.

▪︎ marisha and robbie casually rping arts and crafts

▪︎ "you're kind of like his dad." "do not put that on me, please."

▪︎ ashley johnson doing the lords work. thank you. (essek thelyss you simp)

▪︎ wildMOTHER

▪︎ I KNEW THIS REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING. GETTING READY FOR A CON.

▪︎ YES ANIMATE OBJECT

▪︎ dorian's face when he's introduced to patê is giving: i have never wanted to be cyrus more in my life right now.

▪︎ emotional support faun and her damaged little halfling

▪︎ 17 strength let's go (beefy boy)

▪︎ laura bailey i am making the same face as you.

▪︎ WHO WAS MAKING IT RAIN. WHO.

▪︎ OH THIS BITCH. I HATE HER (delilah briarwood)

▪︎ nervously giggling

▪︎ travis willingham is a lover and instigator of chaos.

▪︎ liam o'brien giving advice. he loves this.

▪︎ i love this. orym, if anyone comes for you, get behind me. (he doesn't know this is laudna. he thinks he's getting fucked with in the middle of the night. HE CANNOT SEE FUCKING ANYTHING).

▪︎ YEE HAW INNER PARTY CONFLICT

that's all folks.

[mykingdomforapen]

chapter 10 of "courage of stars" will be coming next week and guys, I'm so nervous. I am so excited and I'm so nervous. This chapter is many things. It's where I got to do some things I've been really wanting to do. It's where I cross a point of no return in the story. I got to try a different style. It's where the line blurs between fanfic and a genre that I respect and fear.

It's also a huge factor in why this fic is rated M. Hoo boy.

So! In lieu of updating today, so that you won't have to face a three week wait afterwards, here's a fun little drabble/filler episode:

-

When Lu Guang was four years old, he lovingly killed three tadpoles. He had scooped them from the pond in a plastic cup and brought them home happily, convinced he would raise them into froghood. By Thursday, all three of them floated lifelessly in the surface of the bright blue tub in which he housed them. His mother poked them curiously with a chopstick while he sobbed into his grandmother's lap.

"Don't be so sad, Guangguang," Maamaa crooned as she patted Lu Guang's head. "You tried very, very hard. We all know that you did your best." 

"I killed them!" Lu Guang wailed into her skirt. "I just want them to be frogs and now they died!"

"Oh, A Guang," his mother said as she furtively plucked the dead tadpoles into a bundled newspaper for a more discreet funeral. "This is a good learning experience, right? Now you know what not to do with a frog. See, it's good to learn with the wild tadpoles, before you spend money on a pet. You know better for next time not to use tap water."

Lu Guang sobbed louder ("I meant it to be comforting!") until Yeye came home. Maamaa intercepted Yeye before he walked through the door and sent him on a mission to bring home steamed bai tang gao as a consolation, and Yeye beelined to the nearest vendor to bring home a steaming, buoyant cake of tangy sweet rice. Lu Guang chewed on it sullenly on the living room sofa after bidding the dead tadpoles goodbye into the storm drain.

Yeye sighed as he sat next to Lu Guang, stroking his grandson's little head.

"You know," he said, "when I was little, my father raised bees."

Lu Guang blinked up at Yeye with teary eyes.

"Honeybees?" he asked.

Yeye nodded. "My father was a very adventurous man, you know. A scholar, but always enjoyed the outdoors. He got it in his head that he would like to try raising a colony of honeybees. I was so excited to help him. I thought we would have hives and hives of bees, but what do you know! Only a month or so of having the bees, one day they all flew away. The queen said, no more! I was so disappointed."

Lu Guang sniffled. Yeye scratched the back of Lu Guang's head.

"After that, we stuck with chickens," Yeye said lightly. "What do you think of chickens, A Guang?"

Lu Guang shook his head.

"I like frogs," he whispered.

"You want to try raising frogs again?"

Lu Guang nodded. Yeye smiled crookedly.

"Ah, well," he said. "Chickens are smelly, anyway."

-

For Lu Guang's seventh birthday, his parents took him to the pet store.

His mother had promised him a pet frog for when he turned seven, partly because she had assumed he would grow out of frogs in three years' time. She was a woman of her word, though, when she noticed him checking out library books about frog care and frog types when he hit age six. When asked if he wanted to invite friends over to play, he shook his head and asked to go to the pet shop.

So on Sunday when Ba and Ma were off work, they took Lu Guang to the best-rated pet shop in the city, four subway stops away from Peidi University. Lu Guang was shaking with anticipation as he counted down the stops, donning his frog bucket hat in celebration and looking away solemnly when teenage girls cooed at him. All he could think about was his dream coming true.

“Now, A Guang,” his mother said breezily as she took Lu Guang’s hand to wade through foot traffic. “When you pick a frog, you have to make sure it isn’t poisonous, okay? Mommy is afraid of poisonous animals.”

“I don’t want a poison dart frog,” said Lu Guang, albeit with reservation. “They won’t have them in a pet store.” 

He did not know what sort of frogs were available in the pet store that Ma and Ba were taking him. Ba, in all his practicality, had assumed that they would go to one of the street markets and pick up a frog that was meant for the dinnerplate. He expressed mild surprise when they turned left to the subway station, so Lu Guang knew Ba wasn’t going to be any help in asking for clues. 

“All right, Guangguang,” said Ma as she ushered Lu Guang into the pet store. It was a corner shop with clean glass windows, full of tanks and cages and colorful habitat accessories. Colorful parakeets squawked and glittering snakes coiled under sunlamps, and Lu Guang’s little heart began to race with anticipation. “Only one frog, do you understand?” 

Lu Guang nodded, his eyes as wide as coins as he stared up at the tall towers of tanks. There were saltwater coral fish dancing among anemones, drowsy tarantulas (Ma squeaked at the sight of them), sunbathing turtles, bearded lizards, and–

Lu Guang felt his jaw drop. 

An Amazon milk frog. 

It was just at eye level with Lu Guang, so that when he pressed his nose to the glass he was eye to eye with the docile pale blue frog. It perched on a rock under the sunlamp, milky blue and content to stare back at Lu Guang. It was perfectly patterned, gummy blue webbed feet, and a lipless mouth that promised simplicity. 

It was, in short, the most wonderful creature that Lu Guang had ever seen. 

He stood up on his tiptoes to get a closer look at the frog. Its tiny breaths puffed in its throat in a fascinating rhythm. It was like seeing a real-life Doraemon in Lu Guang’s eyes, or Sun Wukong–a fairy-tale celebrity come to life, except instead of comic books it was Lu Guang’s frog encyclopedia. Lu Guang knew its habitat, its life cycle, its favorite foods, and now he could behold one with his own eyes. 

Seven minutes passed, and his mother touched him on the head.

“A Guang, there are other frogs you should look at too,” she said.

Lu Guang shook his head. He pressed his hands against the glass. 

“Aiyah, A Guang, not too close.” 

Lu Guang moved his nose a millimeter away from the glass, leaving a smudge. His mother looked down at him with a crooked smile. 

“Is this the one you want, then?” she said. 

He looked up to his mother and nodded. Ma turned to Ba and tapped the price tag. Ba nodded solemnly and undertook the task of haggling (unsuccessfully) with the store owner. 

“Let’s pick out a tank for him,” said Ma. 

She took Lu Guang’s hand and tugged him towards the habitat shelves, but Lu Guang refused to budge. He glued himself to the spot, maintaining unbreakable eye contact with the milk frog. 

“A Guang, come on, now,” she said. “We have to give him a home, don’t we?” 

Lu Guang huddled closer to the tanks. He was convinced that if he were to let the frog out of his sight, some other seven-year-old boy would swoop down and claim the frog as his own. 

“Ba is buying the frog right now, see?” Ma said, pointing to Ba who was conceding to the original price of the pet store while he pulled out his wallet. “There. Let’s choose a tank.” 

After another minute of convincing, Lu Guang finally followed his mother to pick out a proper tank for his frog. He picked out the soil, cleaned rocks, plants, and water source that would all go into his terrarium, but it wasn’t until Ba handed to Lu Guang a plastic covered cup with his milk frog sitting politely inside did Lu Guang feel the surge of joie de vivre. He hugged the cup to his chest, whispered his thanks to his father, and then burst into tears, precisely in that order.

-

Thanks for indulging me with this little drabble, gang. Who knows, since I'm kind of keeping up this 2 week streak for the rest of the update schedule, you might see the return of Frog Guang's adventures again...after all, if you've been on my tumblr for some time, you may recall that I have a headcanon that Lu Guang has beef with one of his cousins.

Until next week!

[evereverest2]

Terzomega Drabble — Fallen Angel AU

story is below the cut if you want to skip my rant!!

ok i’m a newer tumblr user but it’s time i put on my big boy boots and info dump all my creative thoughts about a random set of characters on a random post that no one will see !!! woo hoo !!

so i’m obsessed with catholic lore deeply interested in celestial/demonic terzomega, and the other day i wrote a little drabble that i wasn’t totally satisfied with but i figured i could post it here and maybe that would give me some more inspo.

my idea is catholic priest terzo/fallen angel omega. as far as terzo goes i thought it would be cute if he was like one in a line of religious men. like his dad was a pastor (priests cant fuck but pastors can😏) and all of he and his brothers became priests, and like he treats it more like a job but he really likes the attention and how ppl adore him. kinda like He Is vibes. maybe he’s a a lil filthy priest who knows :>

i wont get into why i think omega fell bc if i make this into a story i want ✨intrigue✨ but i see him as this greatly wise beast burdened with his own knowledge of the universe, harrowed by his fall, guilty and ashamed and unable to come to terms with it. he obvi fell much later than the other demons. the next step is supposed to be hell, but by some cosmic mistake or decision, he fell into a church, and because of that he couldn’t like, yk, fall through to be a demon bc demons aren’t allowed in churches, so he’s kinda stuck between. id assume at some other point other ghouls try to make him come to hell. ive been really into alpha lately so it would be hot if alpha came, and they had a history bc yk all demons were angels once, and they fought and stuff. yees.

so anyway, i wrote this drabble that i will put below. i wasn’t entirely satisfied with it for a few reason… 1) i didn’t quite have a grasp on either of their characters for this au, partly bc of Little Monster, partly bc i came up with this two days ago and haven’t thought about it since and two 2) i wrote it during a day that i was burnt out w writing so its not up to snuff imo.

so if you got through all that and u make it through the drabble, i would really appreciate any feedback u can give. it’s only 1.4k words, so about a 10 minute read if ur slow, prolly closer to five :> thank u in advance, have a splendid (day/night) time :D

—

“Have a good night, father.”

Terzo waved off the sister, watching the heavy doors swing shut after her in the dim candlelight, deafening the sound of heavy rain outside. He turned to walk up the aisle, all the way up the steps to the altar, ensuring along the way that everything was in its proper place. He smoothed a wrinkle in the corporal, tweaking the positions of the chalic and paten until everything was just so. He looked out at the dark recess and nodded.

Not a hair out of place. All was right and in its proper place.

From the heavens a great shatter sounded, like thunder and splitting wood. Terzo looked up. Through the roof came a great, dark, feathery beast that collapsed to the floor with a reverberating crack of the tiles and pews it landed on. The storm raged on above, rain pouring in from the newly broken ceiling, falling onto the collision below.

The being slowly rose to a stand. A large man with dusky skin, great horns, and black wings, dressed in a stained and drenched robe that hung limply from his impressive torso. He looked up to the hole in the sky, facing the rain that dripped onto his face. With a sweep of his wings he was airborn, only to careen away from the opening and crash down once more. He was like a bird trying to escape its cage, desperately flapping his wings, staring to the sky, unable to fly again. Before him was his own destruction, a ravaged church broken by his falls.

Terzo had quickly dove beneath the altar in his shock, watching him with a mix of disbelief and terror stirring in him like water rolling to a boil, threatening to spill over the pot in the form of a scream.

The winged creature was suddenly still, lying in a shattered pile of wood and tile, breathing heavily. A heavy silence filled the cavernous church forebodingly.

Terzo fumbled for the Bible in his pocket, yanking off his cross necklace. A series of prayers escaped his lips in a whisper, convinced the winged horror was some sort of demon. When it did not suddenly burst into flames from the holy smite of God, Terzo slowly approached the unmoving beast, Bible and cross held before him cautiously. Once he was only a few feet away, he cried out, “In the name of the Lord, begone, foul demon!”

Nothing happened. He repeated himseslf. Not a flinch. The thing just lay there, panting harshly like a wounded animal. He flipped through his Bible, repeating any prayer he could think of. Nothing.

The beast peeked an eye open from lying face down, a black eye with white pupils. Watching him. Terzo, startled, threw the Bible at him. He winced.

“Be… Not… Afraid…” He spoke as through every syllable was painful, a deep, sonorous voice that shook Terzo to his core.

He froze for a long moment, then had an idea. He dashed away to the baptismal font and scooped up a handful of holy water, then ran back to splash it on the creature.

“You are a demon! Go from this holy ground!”

He did not move. From his quivering lips, he spoke again. “I… am… God’s… servent…”

He closed his eye again, saying nothing more. There was something amiss. Despite how he had tried most everything he could think to dispel a demon, and it lie in his church, unaffected.

It was enough to give Terzo pause.

No matter what the terrifying beast was, he was in pain. Not from anything Terzo did, but from whatever had caused him to fall through the roof of his church. Regardless of what was to be done, the winged man could not stay in the church.

“Err, excuse me. How do I… help you?” Terzo ventured.

No response. Terzo thought for a moment. There was no way he could lift him, or even drag him. He was enormous compared to the compact priest, with humongous wings to match.

“Could you walk?” The weak eye opened again. Terzo said, “I will take you somewhere more comfortable, si?”

He stirred suddenly, stumbling to his feet, hunched over and clutching his own ribcage. Terzo, unsure, began walking towards the doors. The beast slowly followed.

He locked the door behind him, trying to ignore that his precious church had been destroyed and how the winged man stared at him intensely. A problem for the morning. He led the creature across the street where his refractory was, his home. Luckily, no one was around to see them in this late hour, and even then, it was pitch black outside. The storm had shorted all the power, including the street lights.

Terzo led him to an empty bedroom on the ground floor, which held a rather small bed compared to some others he had, but Terzo was worried about him being able to walk much longer, let alone up stairs.

“Lie down on this,” Terzo instructed, pulling back the blankets. He hardly made it through the doorway with his large wings, but once he squeezed through he instantly fell onto the bed, making it bounce violently with the weight.

“May I… err… touch you?”

Not even a reaction. He seemed half ready to die on Terzo’s spare mattress.

Terzo pulled away the stained robe from his torso. The fabric indeed obscured a glistening wound sat between his lower ribs. Surprisingly, it was not bleeding as much as he would have expected, but it was concerningly deep.

Terzo hurried in and out with supplies to aid the poor thing. He bandaged the wound carefully, then moved on to examine the rest of his body. He was unable to flip him over, but he undressed him to ensure there were no more deep wounds. He wore no undergarments, and once Terzo was certain he had no other pressing injuries, he drew a blanket over his waist to grant him some modesty.

He gently felt for any broken bones, picking out any splinters he found along the way from his encounter with the church roof. There were bruises, which he could just barely make out on his purple skin, and he slathered them with cream. Given the nature of the fall, Terzo was surprised it was not more injured. He figured it must have been suffering from exhaustion more than anything, though he was no doctor.

After nearly an hour of tending to the strange being, Terzo sat back, exhausted. The man lay breathing heavily still from what Terzo surmised was a nicked lung. Even in unconsciousness, his face was pinched in pain, distress. Sometimes fangs would flash from his lips, as if growling at an invisible foe. He certainly looked like a demon, though something in Terzo’s gut told him not to worry.

That was, until he awoke.

Just when Terzo was beginning to wonder if he should call someone, the man sat up, his arms held defensively in front of him. Terzo stood, stumbled back in fear. The beast froze in place, staring at nothing. He looked down at his bandaged side, then at the small priest who had fallen to the ground in terror.

“No—” he breathed out, then clutched his wound in pain.

Terzo clamored to his feet and said, “You should lie back down, signore.” He very gingerly touched his shoulder, prompting him to lay back once more.

“I—” he huffed, wincing again.

“Do not speak. I think it is your lung,” Terzo awkwardly clasped his hands together. “...Although you may tell me if you are a demon.”

He shook his head, staring desperately at him. “No, I—” he gasped, “fell—”

“Let’s not worry, hm? As long as you do not plan to kill me, you should be resting. Then you may chatter all you wish.”

He opened his mouth, but said nothing. Instead he stared at Terzo with an unreadable gaze, one that made him more uncomfortable the longer he stood there.

“Do you… Eat?” he asked uncertainly. He shook his head. “Err.. Yes, well. I will let you rest. Just… let me know if you need something.”

After another thick pause consisting solely of staring, Terzo left the room. Just outside he fell against the wall, clutching his chest, his nerves jumping from his skin.

What was he doing?

—

ik im annoying thanks again for reading if u have ANY thoughts good or bad just give em to me any way u know how i SO appreciate it ur the best B)

i wrote a smut drabble for this concept LMFAO

[access--granted]

Too Slow

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────┈┈┈┄┄╌╌╌╌┄┄┈┈┈────

Anon asked: how about a drabble with reader x luis in another apocalypse universe of your choice? they're just regular, run-of-the-mill people trying to survive a sudden outbreak of some kind, scavenging in a crumbling grocery/convenience store. maybe something angsty happens at the end? idk i just think it'd be interesting to see luis in a different zombie apocalypse universe xD A/N: Hoo boy, anon, do I have something for you 😂 you asked for angsty, and I think I delivered on that pretty well 🤭 I hope you like it because it hurt to write and they're thrown right into the thick of it 🥹 I didn't choose a specific zombie apocalypse universe for this, they're just out here trying to survive. Also, since no gender was specified, I've gone with gender-neutral and friendship rather than romance. I hope that's okay! :) TW: Angst, Implied major character death, mentions of blood and mild gore, use of guns. Pairing: Luis Serra x GN!Reader (Friendship) WC: 1,169

“Luis, can’t you at least try looking for something useful?” You poke your head over the counter, watching the Spaniard rifle through the cigarette kiosk, throwing empty cartons on the floor, his search for an untouched box, so far, unsuccessful. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at,” Luis responds, turning his head to look at you with a playful smile. “Cigarettes are vital. Without them, I might lose my mind.”

You scoff, leaving it at that as you return to what you were doing just a second before. You’re on the floor, searching all the bottom shelves in this tiny convenience store. The area had been quiet when you first arrived, and it had felt like a miracle you’d even come across this place after several days on the road, passing nothing but abandoned homes and stripped cars. It’s clear this place has already been scavenged and gutted of its stock at least a dozen times before, but you and Luis are willing to take your chances, having gone hours without food.

So far, all you’ve found are a few expired cereal bars, some painkillers from the medicine section and a bottle of lukewarm mineral water. It’s not much, but it’ll do just fine until you find somewhere else to raid. You stuff your findings into your satchel, running the back of your hand across your forehead to wipe away the sweat beading from your pores. The air is humid; a storm is coming as thick grey clouds sit stagnant in the sky outside.

“A-ha!” A triumphant Luis draws your attention back to him, and you scramble to your knees before standing up, patting the dust off your knees. When you look his way, he’s holding up a carton of cigarettes like they’re a goddamn medal of honour. They’re perfectly unopened– still in their cellophane wrapping, even. “It seems the universe is on my side,” he remarks, looking so proud of himself. It makes you laugh, shaking your head.

“How do you always manage to get exactly what you want?” Swinging your satchel over your shoulder, you watch him. He’s already torn the cellophane off and popped a cigarette between his lips.

“I guess I’m just lucky–” 

It all happens so fast. One second, Luis is proudly showing off his found treasure, about to relish in his first smoke since a few days ago, and the next, he’s grappling with an infected that came out of nowhere. Turns out the corpse hunched over in the far corner hadn’t been dead when you checked upon arrival.  

You scramble to your back pocket for your pistol– knife, anything. A blood-curdling scream bounces through the store, a chunk of flesh ripped from Luis’ shoulder, your eyes wide and pupils quivering as you watch, mindlessly taking shots at the monster, blood splattering out of bullet holes in rotting flesh until you focus enough to aim for the head. Bang. Thud.

The walking corpse crumples to the floor, and Luis staggers and falls on his backside, blood flowing consistently from the wound in his shoulder. Somehow, that cigarette is still perching perfectly between his lips. You’re too stunned to speak, to move. Instead, you stand frozen in place and watch your friend bleed out, cussing under his breath. He doesn’t seem scared, though, at least not to the naked eye. 

Luis clutches his bleeding shoulder, using his free hand to dig his lighter out of his pocket. You’re still standing across from him, the realisation of what just happened dawning on you, hitting you like a truck hurtling down the highway.

Luis lights his cigarette, taking a long drag while he rests his head against the side of the counter. His face gets lost momentarily in a plume of smoke as it exits his lungs. His eyes meet yours, his voice pulling you out of your stun.

“Well… shit,” he says, voice strained and face twitching with pain, “I guess I ran out of luck– too slow.” He grits his teeth before bringing the cigarette back to his lips. Tears start spilling from your eyes just as the rain begins to fall outside; the first sound coming out of your mouth is nothing but a sob while you stutter towards Luis and kneel at his side. Your trembling hand rests on his leg. 

“This– it’s my fault,” your voice gets stuck halfway up your throat, “I should’ve put a bullet in its head before. I should’ve–”

“Don’t.”

“But–”

“Don’t. This isn’t your fault, my friend. It wasn’t moving. You weren’t to know.” Luis looks at you, keeping the cigarette between his lips. He reaches up to ruffle your hair and sweep the tears away from your cheeks. “Sneaky little bastard, eh?”

You choke on a sob– and a bit of a laugh, and you hate it. You and Luis have been surviving together for months. The idea of having to carry on alone terrifies you. The fact that he won’t be around anymore utterly shatters you.

Noises arise from the surrounding area, bringing your and Luis’ attention to the door at the front, then the one at the back. Trash cans clatter, and feet start dragging. The screaming and gunfire likely drew attention. You need to get out of here.

“Come on, we’ve gotta go,” you sniff, moving to bring Luis to his feet again, but he pulls away and gives you that look. The look you’ve been given far too many times by too many people you’d grown fond of throughout this whole fucked up apocalypse. With Luis, though, it hurts a million times more.

His smile is genuine, yet so sad, as he says, “We both know I’m not going anywhere. I’m a dead man walking.” You shake your head, about to protest. You’re not having any of this– “Y/N, I mean it. You need to get out of here. Now.”

A door handle starts rattling in the back of the store, out of sight, but the clock is ticking. Moans of the infected start multiplying, filling the air that had been silent moments ago. Your eyes meet with Luis’ again. You’re pleading with him silently, but his fingers are curling around the grip of his handgun, easing it out of his belt, his cigarette having already burned down to the butt.

He has accepted his fate.

“Go. Run, and don’t look back.”

Thorns squeeze around your heart, piercing it, tearing it to shreds. Lips quivering, you lean in to press a single, lingering kiss on his forehead. For a second, you think you hear Luis’ breath shake as he leans into your lips.

You stagger to your feet, pistol in hand, and turn to the entrance. ‘Run, and don’t look back.’ Quaking legs carry you forward, gaining speed clumsily as you burst through the door, cold rain hitting your skin as a gunshot resonates from inside the store, and your blood runs cold.

Oh, how one moment of misjudgement can turn into such agony.

[house-of-slayterr]

i feel like I'm SO late on this train but I am absolutely craving more of the Hughie x reader x Adrian fic.. bc HOO WEE I love my underrated boys so much

A Time to Kill.

Three weeks, it had already been three weeks since Adrian stumbled through the storm portal. Time flies when Butcher has you watching the Supe’s every move. Your task was easy, fallow Queen Maeve around until you found the easiest weakness to exploit.

Your head flicks up when you hear footsteps coming down the stairs and idle conversations. You set down the knife you were sharpening as you look up the boys.

“A Train should be next”

“Of course you’d say that mate, A Train is personal to you”

Butchers sarcasm was deeper in tone today, something about his mood slightly more playful than usual.

“We still haven’t found a way to catch him if he tries to run” MM points out.

You sigh heavily.

“You could always switch me to Atrain, I still don’t know why you have me on Maeve duty, she eventually just gonna drink herself into an early grave and take care of it for us.”

“Because dove, she hates men, if any of us fallow her she’d notice.”

“And A train only a man” you point out. “Tell me, you think he’d run from me?”

“I wouldn’t” a chipper voice calls.

You roll your eyes again, getting used to the new banter that came from the deranged boy. He fit strangely well into your group of misfits.

“Nobody asked you mate. You’re only here cause they won’t let us kick you out.”

“Ouch” he fakes offence.

“Please butcher you act like he hasn’t been helpful. He got us more on the deep then you ever have so hush.”

“I thought my friend was freaky, but the Deep is wild man. He-“

You slap a hand over his mouth.

“Thank you Adrian, we do not need to know more information at this time”

You no so gently redirect the conversation. Adrian tends to get distracted and focus on details that didn’t matter.

“Back to A train, got anything for me Hughie?”

“He’ll be at a club tonight, might be able to single him out there.”

“Which mean they’ll be too many people” butcher points out a flaw in this plan.

“Not if we get him alone there won’t. I’m serious butcher, I think I’m our best shot at this. I don’t wanna get any closer to that asshole then I have to but we do this for Hughie.”

The older man sighs pinching his nose. MM seems suspiciously quiet today and Kimiko wasn’t back from what she was doing yet.

“You seem quiet”

“I agree with Hugh, he’s becoming more of a problem all the time. The less we leave homelander with a team the easier it will be to meet our end goal.”

You nod.

“So it’s settled then. MM, Frenchie and Butcher on backup, me and Hugh will handle the problem.”

“Who died and made you leader?”

“It’s about to be you if you don’t crawl out of my ass Butcher.”

“Oi don’t be such a cunt!”

You growl stepping to him grabbing your knife before you can stop yourself. Frenchie slots himself between you and butcher pressing you away.

“Détends-toi mon amour. He’s just one whiskey short of being functional today, give him a rest.”

He pushes butcher into the kitchen to go cool off and grab a beer.

“One of those days I’m gonna break your pretty face by accident Frenchie if you keep stepping between us.”

He raises a brow at you. “You weren’t actually gonna stab Butcher”

“I just might-“

“I call dibs on his jacket if you kill him.” Adrian has a goofey grin on his face.

“Back to the plan-“ you groan, day like this making you hate your unconventional job.

“I can lure him somewhere quiet, Adrian I want you to be Hugh’s back up. This is his fight, he should be the one who gets to do it.”

“I get to go?”

“Considering I still haven’t found a way to send you home, yeah, you’re stuck with us.”

“No other supes should be there” butcher renters with a beer in his hand.

“Sucks for him I guess. Maybe he shouldn’t party alone after making enemies.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You fidget with your outfit, it much more revealing then you’re used to wearing. You made sure to have eyes on Adrian and Hughie from their posts, making sure you ear piece is working.

“Yo, dickhead, you hearing this?”

“Loud and clear cunt” butcher responds back.

Frenchie scrunches his face annoyed with the banter between the two.

“We can hear you don’t worry, we’re watching all the exists. MM’s clear.”

“No eyes on the target yet but we’re all in position.”

You wander further into the party, knowing someone like Atrain was probably drowning in women, and men who want what he has fawning after him. It won’t be that hard to find him once he got there, you just had to be more enticing than the others throwing themselves at him. The thought of this made you sick, but you’d do it for you best friend. He always had your back so you would have his.

You spot Atrain when he enters and wait a few mins, letting him settle into place with his guard down. You adjust your outfit one last time before approaching.

“You’re like, Atrain right? Famous superhero?” You pitch your voice a little higher.

The man turns to you with a grin on his lips.

“That would be me, and who might you be?”

You giggle slightly.

“I can be whoever you want me to be sugar” you leave room for mystery.

“Is that so?” He runs a cocky hand up your arm.

You give a nod, trying to keep your focus but you can feel Adrian’s eyes locked on you from across the club.

“Care for a dance?” You offer your hand dragging him out to the dance floor at first.

You let your mind go blank whenever he touches you, imagining that touch as someone else. Someone gentler, someone you’d actually want to give the luxery of having their hands on your body. But you reminded yourself of the mission. These hands touching you would belong to a dead man soon enough.

When your eyes open again you lock eyes with Hughie giving him a signal to meet you out back.

“Why don’t we take this party somewhere more interesting?” You whisper in his ear, trying not to throw up at the situation.

A small grin breaks on his face as you take his hand and lead him out back. You pull him far enough away that nobody in the club can hear. You cute hugh under your breath for taking so long as you keep you distraction going. Refusing to touch his lips, you press him against the wall and start kissing at his neck.

Butcher and Frenchie try not to cringe at the audio in their ears back in the van, hearing the hero moan in your ear.

“So hero, you remember everyone that you save?” You keep your voice flirty.

“What, I save your life one time beautiful and now you wanna pay me back?”

You attempt not to gag, keeping your act up.

“Not exactly like that” your hand trails up his chest.

“You remember everyone that you kill?” Your tone is a little colder.

“What?”

Your hand finishes its trailing landing on his neck as you press him against the wall further.

“Do you remember everyone that you kill asshole? Or was she just another number to you?”

Atrain look confused but not scared yet. He’s a fool for thinking his speed can get him out of this one. Hughie steps out of the shadows with a gun, not wanting to afford any mistakes like with translucent, he wants to keep this one simple. He had no powers to overpower Atrain with. And he knew he wasn’t stronger. He aims the gun at his head.

“You?”

“Answer her question.”

“Look of this is about your girlfriend, maybe that bitch shouldn’t have been in the street.”

“She was barely off the sidewalk. You don’t even remember her name do you?”

“Should I?” He says cockily and cold.

“Robin.”

You try to encourage Hughie to speeds things up, of course he deserved his moment, but you couldn’t overpower the supe for long. He was starting to slip through your grip.

“Stupid name for a stupid bitch”

“Pretty cocky for someone who has a gun in his face.”

“You won’t pull the trigger. Come on you both know homelander wouldn’t let this slide. You’ll be melted goo on the sidewalk by the time he finds out.”

“We’ll take our chances” you seeth trying to adjust your grip.

Atrain goes to speak again but Hugh shuts him up.

“No, you’re done talking.”

As he goes to pull the trigger Atrain takes that split second to use his power and put you in line with the bullet and goes to run away. Hugh recognises your scream of pain in a second and picks you, knowing he can’t run after Atrain. He kneels to the ground catching you in his arms. You look up at him with wide eyes in pain but the sound you hear next confuses you.

Suddenly you hear screaming and there’s a warm spray of blood that coats you and Hughie. And then the screaming stops. You blink in shock.

“What the fuck?” Hughie says, looking frantically between you and Adrian who now stands at the end of the alleyway.

An excited cheer leaves Adrian’s mouth as he stand there triumphantly, so covered in blood you can’t even see his clothes properly.

“Yeah!” He cheers, “fuck I’ve always wanted to do that!” He sound proud of himself.

Hughie blinks at him now having a healthy level of fear of the man they’ve let into their group. Adrian stands at the end of the alleyway holding a revving chainsaw. Atrain now, well, everywhere. Adrian’s victory is cut short when he takes a moment to asses the position you’re in.

“Shit you’re hurt.”

He rushes over two the two of you discarding the chainsaw.

“Is it bad, I remember when Hardcourt got shot. Hospital right?” He says frantically, seeming to want to say more but he cuts out many of his usually ranty details.

“You got him” you slowly break into a grin. “Adrian you genius you got him!”

“Uhh, are you in shock, shouldn’t you be in pain right now.”

“Fuck the bullet, that bitch went right through me” you assure him. “Adrian you really did it.” You groan a little in pain.

Hughie shakes his head not wanting to revel in the victory until you’re safe back at base.

“The others are just around the corner. Butch will get rid of the evidence and Frenchie and MM can help me patch you up.” He helps you sit up.

You groan in pain holding your shoulder.

“Don’t say I never did shit for you Campbell” you groan playfully.

“You took more than one for the team this time, I owe you.”

“No shit.”

“I got her” Adrian says as he carefully picks you up carrying you to the back of the van.

You blush not used to be carried while conscious. Of course butcher has had to drag you home a few times, but this was different. It reminds you there’s so much you still don’t know about Adrian. And you were eager to learn more. Maybe him being stuck with you wouldn’t be so bad.

“Well done mate” butcher claps him on the back. “Now let’s get ‘em patched up so we can actually celebrate you being useful.”

Adrian stays by your side the rest of the night. Leaving Hughie to contemplate his feelings about you. Seeing you get shot really messed him up, but you seemed so happy at Adrian’s side. He didn’t want to be in competition with the other man, but it seems he’d have to fight for your attention again.

An: sorry if this wasn’t good, I wrote this half asleep but I tried my best to make it fun

[positivelybeastly]

How do you feel about X-Men '97 coming back?

"Quite the meritorious happenstance, don't you think? One might have thought our tale lost to the annals of history, a dusty page in a tome left up on a shelf to be only occasionally perused as a curiosity or in a pique of nostalgia . . .

But it is not to be so!"

"As Tennyson himself said, "Cannon to right of them, cannon to left of them, cannon in front of them, volleyed and thundered; stormed at with shot and shell, boldly they rode and well, the X-Men.'

. . . Paraphrasing, of course."

I am incredibly excited.

Now, that's not to say that there aren't issues already - this is very much a nostalgia driven series, aimed pretty much precisely at me and my generation, and if I'm objective about it, I would have preferred it if X-Men: Evolution had come back instead. In terms of long form storytelling and character development, it was just better than the 90s show.

There's also some iffiness going on with Sunspot, who's joined the main cast - I believe his skin tone is incorrect, which is a common problem with a lot of Latino and Afro-Brazilian characters in comic books to this day, and given that they've made the cool choice to make Morph non-binary, I would've figured they'd want to depict Sunspot as accurately as possible?

That being said.

It just looks fucking good, man. Ray Chase is doing an amazing job of channelling the original Cyclops actor, who is no longer with us; the animation still feels very much in keeping with the original show, while still looking a MILLION TIMES BETTER (I completed a rewatch of the show not long ago, and hoo boy does season 5 especially look really rough); and after so many years of Krakoa comics, there's something to be said for going back to basics.

Is it a reversion? Yeah, a little bit. But I like my X-Men to be warm, and a family, and friends, and to play baseball and basketball, and not to all fucking hate each other, so sue me, I'll accept a step back for the story if it means I get the characterisations I prefer back.

Besides, the comics still exist for people who want the Krakoan stuff, so a bit of more original flavour X-Men for those of us who don't want our mutants to be living in various kinds of dystopia won't hurt anybody.

This also gives the show runners an opportunity to fix some of the issues the original show had, like a much more weakly written Jean and Jubilee than they ever were in the comics, and a chance to adapt some storylines that have NEVER been adapted before, like Inferno. I'm optimistic!

And, selfishly? Between the Marvels, X-Men '97, and what's currently going on in X-Force, I'm just ready for Beast to be written well again. I'm really hoping that he gets some good dialogue, a fun fight scene, maybe even a focus episode this season, but so long as he isn't doing some abominable shit, then I'll happily take it.

Maybe that makes me fickle or easy to please? Guilty as charged, then. I'll happily be easily pleased, because it means I'm fucking happy with what I get. :P

I don't know if I'll have a '97 verse? I can already tell you it'd be verse: hated and feared, but there's not a lot that's substantially different about TAS Hank to how he was in the 90s. That being said, I'm DEFINITELY going to try and get my hands on as many caps as possible - as you can already see, the lad looks so handsome!

[jacqcrisis]

Adding onto the wizard and king idea: the dominant religion in the magic Kingdom worships dragon deities, one of which is the god of magic who chooses and blesses the royal wizard with the Powers. Such a sorcerer needs to go train for years though once he's of age before he can subsume the duty of Big Fuckoff Powerful Magic Man.

So! Prince (who's like third in line) and apprentice were best of friends, teenage/early 20s sweethearts, extremely in love, undoubtedly insperable. The time comes, however, for the apprentice to go off and be dragon trained or whatever, and he fucks off. The prince promises to always love him 'I'll wait for you forever' etc etc etc, thinking of him every day, and showing no interest in the potential brides his family drags in front of him because why would he when true love is promised to return to him.

Cue old king dad dying. And the old king's brother. And eldest prince. Dead from battle they were, very tragic. Lover boy is crowned king, blessed be by the draconic god of being a big leader man and now mom wants him married and normal and continuing the family line, no ifs ands or buts about it.

And who better than the beautiful, intelligent princess of the country they just had to make a truce with, joining the two powerful kingdoms hand in hand and beginning a new Era of Peace and Heteronormativity. Years pass. Things are fine. The old wizard finally retires at like 82 and dearest old flame comes running back to fill his place.

And dear scaley ass gods; their meeting after like 15 years of separation is.... hoo boy, it's clear they still harbor ALL the feelings, time failing to erode the connection they have and only building on the longing they felt. Queen Wife watches as her husband's face is lovingly cradled in the hands of a man twice his fucking size with a twitch in her eye, but she's ready. Her mother in law gleefully warned her about the impending shit storm and she's all too happy to remind her husband of who he's married to while laying down the law with the wizard she wouldn't trust on principal if it also weren't for the fact that he's two inches from having his tongue down the kings throat.

Wouldn't want the peasants to think we're faggots or something, now would we?

So the queen gets between them. The rules are set in stone. The king folds and agrees and starts acting distant much to the wizards initial shock and anger, but worry not, he's a smart little cookie who can see his boy age sweetheart is hiding what he really feels under seventeen layers of politics, propriety, and being wife shamed.

The wizard is a patient and conniving bitch. It's only a matter of time, effort, and carefully applied pressure before the king breaks. And he'll be there to have him. Forever, this time.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "The Mystery of Chopper Base"

Spiders. Why did it have to be spiders.

So first off, it's hilarious and adorable that they named it "Chopper Base". Did Chopper claim dibs on the name since he's the one who found it or did they name it after him to be all, "Okay, yeah, you did really good this time." as a nice little way to honor him?

*chants* At-ol-lon, At-ol-lon, At-ol-lon, At-ol-lon. :D

Ahhh haven't heard the mellow variation of the Main Titles theme in a while.

Actually I think this is the same cue that opened "Path of the Jedi" I recognize these little string ditties.

Kanan and Ezra have been sparring in the cargo hold for hours, it's implied, and Sabine has been watching. You can already hear from the modified buzzing that the sabers are in training mode, and Kanan is performing a lot of basic strikes, reminding Ezra of the fundamentals maybe?

In light of his internal decision in "Shroud of Darkness" Kanan has apparently resolved to cram in as much last-minute lightsaber practice as possible before they have to go off and possibly confront Vader and the Inquisitors. He's pushing Ezra a little bit hard, and you can hear Ezra's frustration.

Something interesting I notice during this sparring session is that Kanan seems to be particularly focusing on getting Ezra to get out of situations where he's pinned against a wall.

HOO BOY all the little tiny things that wound up being horrible portents of things to come this episode.

"You win by surviving." Kanan already trying to correct Ezra in a "how we choose to fight" fashion.

Ezra's particularly snippy after all that, normally Sabine complimenting him would make him beam and try to say something cute or clever back but here he's just huffy and irritated.

"But since when are you my enemy?" *CRIES IN SIX MONTH GAP BETWEEN SEASON 2 AND SEASON 3 FEELS*

Hera's expression turns somber and downcast (which Sabine notices) riiiiight in time for us to have a fanfareless titlecard.

A very broken-down variation of the "Shenanigans" cue, with precise military-drum percussion accompanying it.

Hera unamused by Kanan's "excited face" lolol.

"So I can expect them to be late all the time then." Lol, yep, sorry AP, you picked a very disorganized scrappy band of underdogs.

Ha ha spoke too soon, Rex. Spoke too soon.

I feel so bad for Dicer, she didn't deserve to be spider chow. :(

Some clever foreshadowing with the dokma crouching under the sensor though.

"Everything you need." "...Except you and Ezra." :((((( Ugh the way Kanan and Hera's thread this episode feels vaguely like a messy divorce/separation in places.

Just because Hera understands and accepts that Kanan and Ezra have to leave to keep the rest of the base safe doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't make her any less worried and anxious.

Lol Chopper running straight into Ezra while chasing the dokma that got in.

Ah frick this scene.

This whole episode has this melancholy feel of the calm before the storm. Building up an anticipation of major narrative shake-ups, giving us a breather before things get really crazy.

"The deep breath before the plunge", as it were, since I know the nerds working on this show adore the Lord of the Rings films.

It permeates the whole story, infused in every small sad expression, every innocuous line of dialogue that hurts so much more afterwards.

Catch me crying forever about Ezra and Zeb's friendship and how close they've gotten and how sweet it is.

ALSO PLEASE DON'T THINK ABOUT ZEB THINKING BACK TO THIS MOMENT AFTER THE FINALE HAPPENS, WISHING AND HOPING FOR THE DAY WHEN HE CAN KEEP HIS PROMISE TO SWAP WAR STORIES WITH EZRA AND MISSING HIS LITTLE BROTHER TERRIBLY.

Ahhh I see we brought back the Fyrnock cue, once again signaling something dangerous and hungry lurking in the dark.

NOOOOOOOOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. I DO NOT LIKE THE KRYKNA I DO NOT LIKE THEM.

"Aim for the eyes." Right and it turns out to be actually very hard to hit the eyes so that helps only slightly.

Cheeky Ezra with his lightsaber flashlight lol.

"We've got to get used to not having them around." :((((( No one knew at the time how long Kanan and Ezra were going to be separated from the rest so this hit a lot sadder back then. Still ouch tho.

Sabine so worried about Hera. :(

HA HA LOOK AT THIS BOY HE SEES A STRANGE NEW DANGEROUS CREATURE AND HIS EYES JUST LIGHT UP ALL, "I WILL MAKE IT MY FRIEND! :D"

He's so excited to try and connect with it aww.

Hints to the strained tension between Kanan and Ezra, they immediately fall to bickering once the threat is dealt with.

I... don't even wanna think about what they were going to use Rex for, probably storing him for food after they ate Dicer.

People complained about the fact that shots kept missing the eyes but I appreciate this little bit of realism about shot accuracy. Even trained marksmen will have trouble with a small moving target like that, they won't always hit the eyes every single time first try.

Lightsabers be more effective. :)

See, this is what I'm talking about, Zeb has great clustering, but the eyes are a four-inch round bullet hole on a moving hungry target with long legs.

Ezra's nervous little, "Well, we're safe in here, right?" and Hera's inability to confirm it.

These things even shrug off turret blasts ghgshkjh.

AND Hera's trick with the electrified hull that worked on the Fyrnocks.

The tense situation is fraying Ezra's already raw nerves. Love Sabine rolling her eyes all, "Okay chill for a minute drama queen."

"What am I doing on the ramp?"

Lol Ezra's idea is "Hurl girlfriend at problem to make it go away."

That panic in Kanan and Ezra's faces when they think they've flung her too far. <3

Badass family shot.

Sabine glancing from Hera to Kanan all, "Soooooo either of you gonna talk about the issues? No?"

Sabine sounds so sad here. :(

That palm to her forehead all, "My gosh this idiot." There's this hurt in her eyes and voice when tells Kanan, "[...]you're still walking out... and taking Ezra with you." A very loaded phrase and an interesting one. Sabine's choice of words here, "walking out" feels like a bit of a call forward to her backstory reveal, and also possibly more how she feels about the situation, rather than Hera.

Mayhap there be a niggling negative voice in her head that's saying, You're abandoning me and you're taking away my best friend too.

"We're gonna be okay" wow the layers in that one. We as in him and Hera, relationship-wise, we as in him and Ezra, physical safety-wise.

*SOBS OVER THIS EMBRACE AND "WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN, I PROMISE."*

Frick they really know how to pull the Harsher In Hindsight on us.

Ezra still trying to connect with the krykna. :(((( That was the one talent he was better at than Kanan, that made Kanan so proud of him just a few episodes ago, and now it doesn't work.

Imperial March sliding into the strings there, as the convor heralds Ahsoka's arrival.

OH.

OH WAIT.

WAIT.

FFFFFFFFFF--WAS THAT DELIBERATE??!!???!

Wide-shot, pan up, Ezra walking towards the camera as the pan drops him out of frame, THAT WAS DELIBERATE WASN'T IT???!!???

ANSWER MEEEEEEE.

Ezra's theme plays haltingly one last time, the last note souring and the ominous Imperial March taking its place.

And boy if my levels of dread had not been sky high before lol.

As I said before, this episode is permeated with a sense of impending change, portents of doom hanging over us. It was very effective at setting the stage for "Twilight of the Apprentice", mentally preparing us for that crowbar piledrive into our kneecaps.

This is NOT filler it is NECESSARY connective tissue between the finale and the rest of the season and I will hear no slander about it.

It's just good writing.

[sebsxphia]

I just watched a youtube video where a company that makes products for periods set up a booth at a rodeo where people could come and try a period simulator for free and it gave me an idea. jake and you do a period simulator. you do it first and get all the way to ten and are like "that's not bad at all" and so jake doesn't expect it to be bad. and not because he's a big manly guy but because you've gotten vaccinations together and gotten your blood drawn at the same time, so he feels like if he can do that with you and neither of you give much of a reaction, this should be the same way, right? wrong! at level 3 his legs twitching and he's holding your hand and he's starting to sweat a little. you tell him that it's okay, he doesn't have to do this and you won't tell anyone (*cough* bradley *cough*) about it but he insists on going to 10. by the time he gets to ten poor babies legs are shaking, he's sweating up a storm and he's breathing hard. once you've cut it off and he's recovered he is taking you into the bedroom and absolutely worshipping you. he's making you cum at least two times before he even thinks about coming and the whole time he's just telling you how brave and hard working you are, how proud of you he is that you get up and do SO MUCH when your on your period. and the next time aunt flo comes to visit, he is waiting on you hand and foot, he just comes home, points to the couch, and does whatever you need or want the rest of the night (which is mostly lots of cuddles and ordering in whatever your craving and watching your comfort movies) can you tell i'm on my period with how sappy this is? lol i feel like you can.

ohhhh i love this so much dear anon! 🥹 no because you’re so right, it’s not that jake doubts the pain, or doesn’t believe it! but physically feeling it himself? hoo boy. it puts everything into perspective for him and he seriously feels for you, and of course with that comes him dotting on you hand and foot during your period, and tbh, even the weeks before and after! just jake loving on you 24/7 🥰

thank you so much for this sweet thought my dear anon! 💌

[maxbegone]

happy sunday! i hope it's a lovely fall day wherever you are, and i hope that the week ahead is good to you. here's not-seven sentences:

Los Bastardos have a mission.

Raf is already on the porch waiting when Alex steps out into the freezing morning air, bundled up tightly as he gets out a somewhat-groggy greeting. A thermos is shoved into his hands as Oscar walks around the side of the house with three rifles on his back and three axes in his hands, sharp and at the ready.

“Y’all ready?” He asks, beaming in the blue-grey light.

They hop into Raf’s truck and make the drive a mile south of the property line and into the forest.

“Mom’s on watch this morning,” Alex says as he turns the volume up on his walkie. It chirps, and he clicks it twice in a test. “She said to give her a holler when we’re heading back

“What happens if I crush one of you fuckers?” Raf asks into his thermos as Alex and Oscar both laugh.

“She’ll string you up if it’s Alex,” Oscar says as he drives. “Me? She might fuckin’ kiss ya.”

“Fuck, there it is.”

“Y’all have gotten better,” Alex tells him. “You’re better than before this mess. I swear I never hear you fighting.”

“Silent fights are still fights,” Oscar explains. “But yeah, we have gotten better. I guess livin’ with your ex, her new husband and your kids fares well when it comes to surviving the apocalypse. And Leo’s less of a candy ass than I realized.”

“Safe to say that’s fair given the fact that we wouldn’t be here without him.”

“Yeah.” His dad trails off for a moment. “Your mom’s always gonna be the love of my life, mijo. Because of her, I’ve got you and June.”

“If we’re doing heartfelt this morning, I’m doing a tuck and roll out of this car with the intention of screwing up my other leg,” Raf mildly threatens.

Oscar mumbles something under his breath and hits a few buttons on the stereo until a dreaded cassette rolls and La Bamba starts to play. Alex bangs his fist on the roof of the truck twice and whoops as they continue south.

They park in a clearing and sit on the flatbed passing bags of tamales and tetelas back and forth until the sun fully rises. Alex downs the rest of his dirt tea and listens happily to his dad and Raf talk shit about when they worked together years back. In another time, the three of them would’ve taken the states by storm in politics and law. 

Eventually, they head several paces up as they begin their search. It’s not meticulous by any means — they’re really just trying to find a tree that’s full and can fit through the doorway and comfortably in the living room without pulling a Clark Griswold.

“How’s this one?” Alex calls over his shoulder as he measures up a nine foot tall balsam fir. It’s full and looks sturdy enough not to tip over in the tree stand.

Raf sidles up to him, clapping a hand on his shoulder as Oscar circles it. “Think it’s good, kid.”

“Not a single gap,” Oscar announces as he comes back around. “No dead spots. I think we have ourselves a winner, boys. Get your axes and your asses ready.”

It takes two hours of rigorous chopping for the tree to finally come down, all three cheering as it crashes to the forest floor with a heavy thud. Alex cuts it even on the trunk with a handsaw and soon enough, they’re tying it to the flatbed.

“This,” Raf announces from where he’s reaching halfway through the passenger window, “calls for a celebration.” He procures a scratched-up flask, unscrews it, and takes a long pull, letting out a tight breath. “Hoo, that’s good.”

Oscar takes a drink, then Alex, and the familiar taste of shiner warms him from the inside out.

“Can’t believe I didn’t have to beg someone this time,” Alex says.

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause last time you two actually behaved yourselves,” Oscar replies, gesturing between the two of them. “Now, if either of y’all start getting into a debate, I’m taking our shit and leaving you here to walk back through the snow.”

Alex takes another sip. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll behave, Dad.”

Oscar snorts. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

[bakedbakermom]

sorry theres so many but i genuinely want tko know alllll your answers and it was too hard to pick! so for the ask game: 5, 18, 19, 40, 46, 58, 66, 85, 91 💜💙🩵

hoo-boy, wifey, this is quite a list! from this list.

5. have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, son

this is actually not something i do. i find music really distracting most of the time when i'm trying to write, and crafting playlists (or mixed tapes, as we used to call them) is something i haven't done in a long time. maybe someday.

18. what is your most and least favorite part of writing?

my favorite part is when the rest of the world falls away and it's just and my characters, and i can type with my eyes closed because i am so deep in whatever is unfolding inside my head. least favorite is every moment that isn't happening lol.

19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

i read anything and everything. i am a book magpie. unfortunately this makes it REALLY hard to pick any individual author or work as an influence. it's like i've woven into my soul everything i've ever read and it just comes out wherever it wants. i will say that i love transcendentalist poetry and that sort of synesthesia of imagery tends to work its way into everything.

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

i posted "Enough" last year after more than 20 years away from fic. a few weeks ago i got a comment from someone (👀) saying they had come back and read it again and again over the course of the year. that one has stuck with me and i am seriously considering printing it out and putting it in my wallet.

also when i'm writing horrible angst and people are like "OMFG I HATE YOU THIS HURT SO MUCH. i love it, please hurt me again."

46. what time are you the most productive when it comes to writing?

afternoons. tummy full of lunch, caffeine at full effect, duties and responsibilities of the morning taken care of so my mind is free to wander and bloom. i also do most of my brain storming at night while reading in bed, like half my mind is occupied by the story i'm reading and the other half is picking through the brambles of whatever i'm trying to write. (i'm also usually a little stoned at this time, which helps.)

58. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

whether a particular sex toy my characters were using actually existed. (it does not. i am sad.)

66. when have you felt the most confident in your writing?

absolutely never lol. i am a jumble of self-doubt and nerves at all times. which is why feedback is so damn important. nothing combats imposter syndrome like a friend taking your face in their hands and gazing into your eyes and saying, "you done good." i don't necessarily believe it, but it's nice to hear anyway.

85. what would be on a moodboard for your current wip(s)?

porn. artsy, black and white, slow and smokey PORN.

91. how has your writing style changed over the years?

i like to think i've gotten better at censoring myself less, become less afraid of really diving into the dark. i basically write smut and angst, both of which take me to places i used to be super uncomfortable exploring. sex and intense emotions? oh dear, no, i'm too irish-catholic for that. it's actually been really good for me to let go and truly understand that i can go to these places and bring back something worthwhile, without getting lost forever.