#honoring her dad's name and legacy and reputation

[marymekpop]

⟢ highlight of the hour: flex x cop [12/16] ⟣

well-deserved

[staczak91]

A list of some of my favorite musicians and why

I’m bored right now, so listing, in no particular order, some of my favorite musicians over the years and have stuck with me for my life so far. 

Music has always been an integral part of my life and I love it so so much. Just hearing the perfect song or finding that album that speaks to you is amazing.

So, yeah, here are some musicians that I love love LOVE! No surprises in here for people that know me.

The Beatles

I grew up with this band! My mom adored them and now I adore them. I’m more partial to early Beatles, but they made great music all across their years as a band. Favorite Beatle? I don’t think I can choose. They’re all perfect in their own way. The first rock band. The first boy band. The first musical obsession of my life. Thank you, Beatles, for everything you have given me. 

Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)

I fell in love with Kurt and Nirvana in college after my mom’s death and never fell out of love with him or the band. They’re my go to band when I’m feeling sad or angry emotions and need to just let it out. I found Kurt’s story amazing and believe he is a songwriting genius. Unplugged will always remain my favorite Nirvana album and live performance. 

Jack White

Jack White is one strange man! But I believe that is why I really love him and his music. He makes great straight-up rock music and I love him in whatever form he chooses to express himself: White Stripes, solo, Raconteurs, all of it is fantastic. I fell in love with his music in college after my sister introduced me to his music and, again, never fell out of love. His guitar-playing skills are legendary and he has a great voice to boot!

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse was another college mainstay that I’m still in love with all these years later. I listened to both her albums numerous times and watched the film Amy, which was so sad and enlightening. I wish we all could have seen her growth as an artist and see her become even more of a legendary performer. Her jazz-infused pop was a breath of fresh air and she’ll always remain a favorite of mine. 

Taylor Swift

I had to include Taylor on this list! Been a fan of hers since Fearless but didn’t become a bigger fan until 1989, when I was hooked and never looked back. She doesn’t have a bad album to her name, and seeing reputation live was simply the icing on the cake. Her music and lyricism is perfect and on point and I’m so happy I became a fan of this legendary artist. She’s one of my all-time favorites and I will always love her and her music. Cannot wait to see what she does next.

Jeff Buckley

I found Jeff Buckley’s music a year after I graduated from college totally by accident and so happy I stumbled on his work. Grace is one of the most perfect albums I’ve ever heard and I wish we could have seen his growth as an artist. I’m sad we will never see more from this songwriting genius who was so empathetic and so real. One of my all-time favorites who has stuck with me for life. I simply adore Jeff Buckley.

David Bowie

My mom also adored Bowie and passed that adoration down to me. I remember his death hit real bad when it happened and the whole world was in mourning. And for good reason too. He was just a musician who was so full of life and was so so talented. He deserved everything he got in life. I’m still rocking out to his songs now and will never grow tired of this man’s legacy. Thanks, Bowie, for the good times.

Elvis Presley

I fell in love with Elvis in eighth grade and never looked back! Once I found out I shared a birthday with him, that’s it: I was hooked. And I’m still in love with his persona and music now. The ultimate rock star. He just shed cool. And was a marvel of an entertainer, from musician to rock star to movie star, he did it all. And he was able to move deftly between so many genres too. Really, I love Elvis, and I’m not ashamed. 

Harry Styles

Harry is a new love of mine, but I had to include him. I must admit I’ve never been a One Direction fan and even after discovering Harry and listening to them, I don’t think I’ll ever be one. (Sorry, guys.) But Harry’s solo music is a breath of fresh air in this kind of boring music industry now. He’s controversial and fun and his music is phenomenal. Fine Line is one of the best albums I’ve heard in years, and I’ll be singing “Lights Up” and “Adore You” until the day I die. Although Harry is a new love of mine, I believe I’m gonna love him and his music for years to come. Cannot wait to see him live and see what new great music he has in store for us. Really, I’m unabashedly in love with the guy and I have no regrets. 

Honorable Mentions:

For those who I outgrew or haven’t made my all time favorites list. 

Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day)

Including him as an honorable mention. I used to be in love with Billie years ago as a kid and a young adult, but I kind of outgrew his music. Sorry not sorry, I have so many great memories with him and the band, but I just can’t really listen to them anymore. I guess I grew out of them. Still, though, it was fun while it lasted. I just feel like Green Day aren’t really trying anymore as a band and because of that I’ve lost interest in them. Again, sorry not sorry. 

Beyoncé

Okay let me get one thing straight: I love Beyoncé, her image and her music. But she isn’t in my all time favorites, even with these loves. I think she’s great and extremely talented but I have to be in the right mood to listen to her. Which is why I’m adding her to the honorable mentions. Don’t get me wrong. I love so many of her songs and albums. But...well, I just really have to be in the mood for her music. Still, though, she reigns.

Led Zeppelin

Same thing with Zep. My dad adores this band and it’s one of his favorites. But I can’t force it. I have to be in the mood for them. They’re fantastic, I won’t argue against that. But they’re also heavier than what I usually listen to. Still, when I want to bond with my dad, we usually listen to Zep together. 

Bob Dylan

Dylan is a goddamn poet and I love him! But again I just have to be in the mood for him, which doesn’t happen very often right now. Still, though, I won’t argue against his greatness. He truly makes masterpieces. At least his first few albums and in his younger days. 

Adele

Adele has a powerhouse voice and is technically a favorite of mine. But I find sometimes her music is missing something vital, which is why I put her in the honorable mentions category. Again, I realize how talented she is and am not saying otherwise. But, yeah, I’m usually in the mood for her but at the same time, find some of her music lacking. I’m sorry, Adele. I still love your brand. 

Well, there you have it. I’ve listened to loads of music growing up and I’ll continue to do so and find new music to love. But these are some of my all time favorite musicians and some honorable mentions. Hope you enjoyed the lsit! I know I enjoyed writing it! <3

[willyoulovemeinthemorning]

The Prodigal Daughter Chapter 1

Summary: As the secret daughter of Jason Gideon, you’ve always had a certain proclivity towards profiling. After finishing the Academy, you finally have your chance in the BAU- only months after your dad’s passing. Will it all be too much? Will you find yourself sharing another proclivity with your father for a certain genius with big puppy dog eyes?  A/N: Hello! This is my first fic in a very long time, but this story idea has been living in my head for upwards of 6 or 7 years! Please go easy on me, and I hope you enjoy! a big thanks to @candlesandsoftrain for being a great beta! Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
 Category: Fluff/getting to know you games with the team Content Warning: nothing in this chapter except lots of flirting, tension, sexually charged drinking games, etc. Later chapters will include NSFW Word Count: 4000+

Chapter 1

The years moved by much too fast for your liking. You were older than you were willing to admit, and the years had been hard. Time moved so oddly- it was so difficult and slow when it was happening, but when you looked back, it was as if it sped by like a freight train.

Today was your first day at your new job-  you were 27 and you’d been waiting your whole life for this day to finally come. After hearing stories about your father all through your life; catching the monsters in the dark as well as those that hide in plain sight… you wanted to be a superhero too. And lucky for you, you had a certain proclivity towards reading people. So, you became a profiler. And after years of grueling school, training and fighting to earn your place with no one knowing the legacy in your blood line, you did it.

No, those weren’t tears in your eyes… it was just dusty in the bullpen, that was all. You could feel him everywhere. You knew this was where he lived and breathed and worked for so much of his life. Your mom never understood how you ended up being so understanding about never seeing him, while your brother spent so much of your lives incredibly bitter and angry at him for “abandoning” you both. You always told Stephen that dad spent every minute of every day trying to make the world a safer place for the two of you to grow up in. And now you could finally continue his life’s work.

You caught a few pairs of eyes looking at you when you entered the bullpen for the first time, walking through like you’d been there a million times before- because in your imagination, your dreams, you had. Dad was always so descriptive with his words, and it was never hard to get lost in his stories.

You walked right to the Unit Chief’s office, knowing that Agent Hotchner was already in there waiting for you. You were supposed to have your first meeting on Monday, but when the team didn’t get back in time from their last case- a strangler in Minnesota, he had called you and you rescheduled to accommodate those dang annoying serial killers. Now it was Wednesday, and you could feel the tired energy in the room. It was filled with the sounds of scribbling pens and pencils on paper, the groans and squeaks of chairs as everyone tried to stay comfortable while doing their paperwork. You spotted a few very attractive people around you, but tried to keep your eyes forward as you headed for your destination.

After knocking on the door, you heard a shuffling of papers as a low, gritty voice welcomed you, “Come on in.”

“Hello, Agent Hotchner. Nice to see you again.” You offered your hand, which he took with his baseball mitt sized one. It was rough and strong, and reminded you of your fathers when you were young. You could tell these hands had seen a lot of conflict.

“Y/N , you’ve grown up a lot since last I saw you.” He had a kind smile on his face, which surprised you, even after all this time. Aaron Hotchner was always such a serious man, even when you were younger. “And please, call me Aaron. You know that.”

You chuckled in response. “I know, but it feels weird to call you that now that you’re my boss.”

“Hotch will do then. Morgan will give you quite a hard time if he hears you calling me ‘Agent Hotchner’, I can promise you that. Sit, sit. Let’s get through all the necessary annoyances so I can properly introduce you to your new team.”

After all of the finalized paperwork and introductory nuisances, Hotch finally stood up, indicating it was time to enter the bullpen again, but with a promise of introductions to your new team. You felt a small pang in your heart. You wished your dad could have been here to do this instead of Aaron. He took notice of your second of discomfort- something you were sure to get used to quickly working with profilers.

“Y/N, he’s here… in you. I know how proud he would be of you.” He said to you with a hand falling to your shoulder.

With a smile, you accepted the comfort, turning to look at him again. “Would you mind… could we see Uncle Dave first? I think it would make me feel a little better to have him next to me for this.” That damn dust was at it again. You were fine, really. You’d been preparing for this emotion for months now- there was nothing to surprise you.

With a gentle smile, Aaron- no, Hotch, you remembered- nodded. “Of course. Follow me to his office.” It didn’t escape your notice that, as you followed him, you were on your way to your dad’s old office. Each step brought you to a place you’d heard about, thought about, dreamt about, but had never seen. But when you walked in behind Hotch, you knew this was nothing like your father would have kept it. It just screamed Rossi.

“Y/n! If it isn’t the smartest and brightest star from the Academy, falling right here into our laps at the BAU!” Dave cheered as he saw you, shooting up from his chair and almost running to you, pulling you into his arms while Hotch closed the door to offer you all some privacy.

“Uncle Dave, you can’t believe how amazing it is to have you here on my first day.” You said into his shoulder, holding him close. He was always such a big supporter of your career- there every step of the way whenever your dad couldn’t be. You always said that you were lucky- god blessed you with a loving, mildly helicopter mother, and two superhero dads so fight all the monsters for you.

“You’re gonna be great, kid. Unless your academy grades and reputation were all a lie to get you out of their hair!” He laughed, low and warm.

You giggled, pulling back from him and punching him lightly in the arm. “Rude.” You took a deep breath, and both men noticed that you were preparing yourself to say something important. “Aaron, Uncle Dave... I made it here on my own, with my mother’s maiden name and no one knowing who my father is. I am so proud to be the daughter of Jason Gideon, and I miss him every day… but I think I want to keep my birth last name a secret for now, if you’re both okay with that. They legally changed my name when I was a baby, and while I would be so proud to have his last name again, I’m- just not ready to hold up his legacy just yet.” You explained to them, hoping they understood. Your parents had decided very early on that they didn’t want you to have the last name Gideon. It was just- too dangerous. Your father had put away too many bad people, especially people that preyed upon little girls, to risk your life that way. So while you thought of yourself as Y/N Gideon in your mind, you’d never said it out loud before. Not once.

“Of course, kiddo. Whatever you want, we’ll follow your lead. Hopefully Garcia can’t find anything with your last name, but we’ll have Kevin keep an eye on her search history in case she finds anything. But if you’re worried about anyone finding out, I would tell her and promise her to secrecy though. Because if super tech genius finds out before you tell her… everyone will know.” He explained, and you laughed. You’d heard about Garcia. Your dad used to drive her crazy. You considered Rossi’s advice and nodded, understanding and deciding to think on it.

“Ready?” Hotch said after a moment, gesturing to the bullpen, where you could see several people grouped up at a desk, staring into Rossi’s office with curiosity and perhaps a little bit of uncertainty.

“As I’ll ever be.” Rossi squeezed your hand and you smiled at him, a big toothy smile shining back at you. With two men you knew you’d already trust your life with by your side, you walked out of the room knowing that these people who you already knew so much about would soon also hold your life in their hands. “Team, I’d like to introduce you to the new member of our team, Y/N L/N. She’s transferred in with top marks from the Academy, and she’s been highly recommended by all of her professors.”

You blushed at his compliments, rolling your eyes at him. “I didn’t have the highest marks in ALL of my classes. Shooting targets took me a while.” You smile, waving at the team awkwardly. “Hi everyone, it’s an honor to be here with you. I’ve heard so much about all of you. You’re all pretty famous around the bureau. I can’t wait to meet you all and get to know you as my team instead of people I’ve been idolizing for 10 years!”

Everyone laughed, and a tall, dark and handsome man walked forward with a giant grin on his face. “Hey, Y/N, I’m Derek Morgan. You are welcome to continue to idolize me as much as you’d like.” You could have snorted, he was so much like your dad described.

“Nice to meet you, Agent Morgan.” You said with a mildly flirty smile, holding your hand out to him happily. No worries for you, you were definitely going to like your job if you had him to look at all the time.

“That’s enough touching for now, little newbie,” a big beautiful blonde said from behind him. “That is my man-candy you’re ogling and groping, thank you very much.” There was no venom to her words, just something that you could only describe as adorable teasing. She was so colorful, it was almost as if there was a light shining around her. She was just a glowing ball of sunshine… You knew you’d be fast friends with her. “I’m Penelope Garcia, resident tech Goddess and most loyal beck and call gal.”

You took her hand and shook it, before doing a slight curtsy, earning you a giggle. “An honor to meet you, Tech Goddess Garcia.”

“Ignore her, they’re perfect for each other because of their over inflated egos.” You heard a blazé voice coming from the other side of Derek Morgan. “He’s eye candy for us all, much to her dismay. She’s never been one for sharing. I’m Emily, one of the few normal ones here.”

“Normal, pfft. She’s far from normal. You should hear her talk about her cat. Jenniffer Jareau, but my friends call me JJ.”

You took both of their hands in firm handshakes, grinning at them both. “Nice to meet you, and thank you for the permission to ogle, Agents. As far as normal, I sure hope not. Normal is vastly overrated.” You grinned at them. Damn they were cute. Was this whole team models who decided to become do-gooders and join the FBI?

“Halloweentown, 1998, said by Debbie Reynolds.” A small voice in the back of the group piped in, confident in words and speed, but somehow… demure and shrouded in uncertainty, too. The team parted so you two could see each other, and you swear your heart stopped beating for a few seconds. In front of you was the prettiest, most adorable, hottest guy you’d ever seen. He had a sexy professor thing going on, but simultaneously looked like he was an anxious teenager, terrified of being bullied by this newcomer.

You longed to hold him and protect this stranger from the rest of the world and heal any wounds he had succumbed to in the time before you. He was staring at you too, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, pupils a little bigger than you can only assume they would normally be. After a snicker broke you both from the weird moment, pretty boy smiled a little and gave an awkward wave. “Hi. Doctor Spencer Reid.”

Oh. God. Your heart stopped a second time, and you swore, this is what a stroke felt like. You’d heard about Spencer for the last ten years. Your father loved him almost as much as he loved you and your brother. Maybe even more sometimes. The BAU resident genius, IQ of 187, eidetic memory, born in Las Vegas and wasn’t allowed in most casinos due to his card counting ability. Ability to empathize and love in a beautiful and incredible way- your father adored him, and because of how he spoke of him, you… you’d always had a crush on this faceless idea in your head with his wild mop of hair and tall, lanky frame. You had a general picture from all these years, but nothing had prepared you for this.

“H-Hi. I’m Y/N. N-Nice to meet you.” You said, trying your hardest not to sound like a little school girl with a crush on her teacher. You’d just met the man, for god sakes. You heard another snicker, and this time you knew it was from Morgan just from the proximity of the sound and the testosterone you could feel from the gesture. You tried to ignore your flaming red cheeks, and held out a hand a second before remembering that he hated being touched by strangers. A big germaphobe, always calculating the risk of what contact could mean for him. But before you had a chance to pull away, he reached out and took your hand, giving it a squeeze. You must have looked as shocked as you felt, but no one else noticed because everyone was staring at Reid with the same expression you were wearing. And to be honest, he looked just as surprised, if not more so.

Garcia made a breathy squeak sound, and somehow, that broke the tension of the moment, and you and Reid pulled away at the same time, both looking like you’d just been shocked by electricity. You stretched your hand out, staring at it, feeling on edge all over again, thinking about how good his hand felt in yours, and how good it would probably feel other pla-

“Well, I hope you all will be on your best behaviors, and treat Y/N like you would want to be treated as a newcomer in a team like ours, seeing what we see.” Hotch finally broke the silence. “Y/N, if you have any problems, come find myself or Rossi and we’ll help sort them all out.” Nodding, you looked at him and smiled, suddenly very embarrassed that your boss and your uncle just witnessed all of that. As profilers, they were going to come to so many conclusions, and each was more embarrassing than the last.

“Pretty boy and pretty girl, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-” You heard Derek sing-songing and he walked away, looking like the cat who got the cream. He was interrupted only when Emily punched him quite hard in the arm, looking at you with a wink and a smirk as she headed back to her desk as well. You tried to avoid looking at the genius again, but it was… difficult to say the least. You wanted to memorize everything about him. You wanted to pick his brain and listen to every fact he’d ever memorized. You wanted to experience him in all the ways your father had gotten to and more.

You watched as the team dissipated and then your eyebrows furrowed. “Rossi?” You asked, stopping him in his tracks as he was headed back to his office. “Where’s my desk?” He looked over his shoulder at you and you could tell he was holding back a shit eating grin as he pointed with his thumb to the desk directly across from Reid.

Fuck. You both looked at each other… or well, you looked at him, and he looked away like he’d been caught doing something and sat down, looking at his paperwork blankly. As you headed to your new desk, you’d give anything to know what was happening inside that massive brain of his.

Staring at your empty desk, you imagined what you could put there. Pictures of your family, pictures of your friends and your cats… One day you would put up a picture of your father… one day. For now, you grabbed your briefcase from your side and opened it up. You started unpacking some of your first day necessities; pens and notebooks, little toys and bright objects to remind yourself that there is good in the world. Your pile of books out; you always kept at least ten books on you at all times. One for every kind of mood you could be in- and at least three that you hadn’t read yet and were planning on.

As you prepped your desk, you could feel those eyes on you, analyzing your every move. You wanted to look up and see if you could find what he was figuring out within those eyes, but you tried to keep busy so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself again.

“Another book nerd, I see.” You heard that deep, caramelly sweet voice behind you. Derek sat on your desk right next to you and smiled a toothy smile at you. “Pretty girl likes to read, huh?”

Smiling at him, you raised a brow. “Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else’s shoes for a while.” You were about to quote the originator, but someone else beat you to it.

“Malorie Blackman. British children’s literature writer and science fiction author.” Your head snapped to the person in front of you, who wasn’t looking at either of you.

Smiling at him, you nodded, and then turned to Morgan. “Yup, Malorie Blackman. Empathy is a huge part of the job, right? Reading allows us to experience a million different perspectives- which, as proflers, is necessary to catch the bad guys. I read so I can try to understand as many perspectives in this world as possible.”

Derek looked a little impressed, at least, and you couldn’t get a read on the gorgeous mop of brown hair on the desk across from you. Derek picked up one of the books still on your desk, not organized in your little library yet. “I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings?” He comments, and you catch Spencer’s eyes flick up at the title, curious.

“It’s my favorite. Not only do I love birds, but I’m a very big Maya Angelou fan. I’ve… always kind of felt like a bird stuck in a cage. Flitting about, trying to figure out what to do with my life and who I am... No book has ever made me feel more seen or understood as a human being.” You caught those big, interested eyes and you almost felt like you might have shared too much. You’ve always been an open book, but somehow, the way he was looking at you made you feel more vulnerable than you had… ever.

Derek nodded and smiled, putting the book down on your desk. “Well, lady genius, I’m going to try and get everyone to get together tonight for drinks, would you be interested in getting to know us in a more fun environment, or would you rather just go to the library with Pretty Boy over here and nerd out together?” He teased, making both of you blush.

“I-I don’t know. I’ve spent all of the years of my adulthood studying and sleeping and working to get here, so I haven’t really… spent a lot of time at bars?” Admitting that wasn’t the best feeling, but better to be honest than try to make up a lame excuse.

“Do I hear we have a light weight to peer pressure?” Derek said, loudly enough to catch the attention of everyone else. JJ and Emily looked enthused, and Rossi poked his head out of his office to chime in.

“Someone’s convincing Miss nose in a book Y/N to go out for drinks tonight? I’m in and I’m buying!” That was met with an uproarious approval from everyone on the team, with the exception of Reid, who was just looking at you, seemingly waiting on you to decide.

You bit your lip, noticing how Reid’s eyes fell to your lips in reaction. Well… if you could spend more time with the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen looking at you like that more… “Well… I guess. Sure. Sure, okay, I’m in.” You finally agreed, everyone whooping and hollering in celebration at you giving in. “Doctor Reid? What about you?” You looked at him through your eyelashes, and you could swear you saw his eyes dilate more.

“Oh, pretty boy barely ever comes out drinking with us anymore. He’s always holing himself up in his apartment- books from floor to ceiling, books in the fridge, freezer, on the bed, in his drawers and closets…” Derek teased, reaching over to Spencer and ruffling his hair.

Reid looked at Morgan and shoved his hand away and tried to fix his hair, rolling his eyes. “I do not have books in my freezer. That would be a terrible spot to put them, it would completely ruin the delicate spines.” You smiled at him in support, and he sat up a little straighter. “I… I’m in. For tonight.” He looked right at you when he said it, and you couldn't help but feel a little flutter in your stomach at the idea that he was going just to get to know you.

Morgan seemed to be thinking the same thing, and the face he gave Reid as he stood up and sauntered away said more than he needed to outloud. Once Reid looked away from Morgan, your eyes met and you both smiled again. “You’re a fan of Maya Angelou?” He asked, nodding towards your book.

“I am. I was always drawn to books that had birds on the covers, but then I actually read it and realized how beautiful it is on the inside.” You held the book in your hands gently. It was a mutual love, one your shared with your dad.

“The number of bird species in a person’s surroundings correlates directly to happiness levels.” He said, smiling at you like you were the most interesting thing in the world. The attention should have made you uncomfortable, but it just made you feel warm… important.

“Really?” You searched his eyes, wondering how much information was in that brain, stacked away for use when necessary. “That’s so interesting. I thought most people found birds annoying because of all the noise.”

He shook his head. “On the surface, they think it’s annoying, but once one becomes used to the sounds all around them, they find the background noise comforting. Most people find absolute silence much more disconcerting.”

“Absolute silence, for sure. But comfortable silence between two people who find solace in each other… I think that’s my favorite background noise.” He looked at you as you spoke, a small bit of hope flickering in both of your faces. You’d felt… alone, since your fathers spirit left this world months ago. It had been so hard to be at school and unable to go to his services, terrified of people finding out who your father was and that information altering your career. You hadn’t even applied to the bureau until you had your recommendation letters in order- you didn’t want Aaron giving you any false starts just because he knew. You liked to visit his grave once a month and tell him all the things you wrote in your letters to him. You carried around his private notebook as a reminder of the people in the world he saved, the people you wanted to save. You clutched your briefcase close, knowing you couldn’t put it in your desk with Reid watching you so closely. You’d find time to slip it in later, when no one was looking. With that eidetic memory, you knew he’d recognize it immediately, and you didn’t want his curious gaze to ruin your secret just yet. You wanted the team to form their own opinions of you before they knew... because the moment they knew, everything would change.

Next chapter

[oswlld]

I wanna talk about this whole family drama. This is just my unfiltered thoughts on not what I want for the families to handle their sons’ relationship or what hopes I have for what the drama actually is. If any of you have watched Shadowhunters, I just wanted to put into words how each of the Bad Buddy families have dealt with the rivalry, based on what we learned about how Maryse and Robert Lightwood were handled on the show.

I can only speak to how the TV show Shadowhunters portrayed the characters and motives, so if any of what I say contradicts what the book counterparts were like, welp.

SO, lets walk though how the Lightwood parents handled their involvement with the Circle, their legacy as Lightwoods, and how it affects their relationship with their children.

The Lightwood Family is considered The Kennedys of the nephilim world, which means their reputation is everything

Maryse married into the Lightwood name; she holds a title and three kids, but is not Lightwood by blood

When she and Robert tried to cut ties with the bad blood that eventually surfaced about the Circle, they tarnished the Lightwood name and reputation

Much of the show depicts the parents doing everything in their power to have their children build back their reputation and essentially “save them” from their disgrace

Additionally, the parents aren’t known to be fair or neutral to downworlders

Especially for Isabelle, Maryse treats her own daughter with very little respect due to her relationships with downworlders

We do eventually see the change and growth in Maryse towards Magnus and develops a better relationship with her daughter

What does this have to do with Pat and Pran’s parents? It can be split into

Pat’s parents playing into the “kids need to save their reputation”

Pran’s parents playing into the “cruelness to the downworlders/Isabelle relationship”

And both holding this alleged generational rivalry, much like the shadow world’s divide

To start, there’s that little crumb of dialog in ep 6 where Pran’s mom drops a hint that dad isn’t really an honorable man. Based on Maryse’s drive to have her children save their reputation, it’s safe to assume that Pat’s dad’s behavior all season drives that point home. Something bad happened that he’s not sharing with his kids and it’s costing him Pat’s happiness. It’s not affecting their business to a grand scale, I hope?, but it is enough to have Pran’s mom hang this burden over his head. It shuts him up in front of Pat. Now, he let’s Pran’s parent berate him and he projects that onto his kids by taking out his frustrations on them. Making them be better than him. He wants to dangle his kids’ achievements in front of the other family so that it would one day not be about him.

To add to that, he constantly called them jealous, which I believe must have been a festering wound to his ego about his former employees working for Pran’s family. Maybe there’s some resentment that’s tied to “failure”. Maryse was eventually banished from the shadow world and had her runes taken from her, while her husband was able to keep his status and even gets to run his own institute without repercussions. I don’t know if what Pat’s dad did will result in any repercussions or if he has already faced them offscreen. But he feels bad and maybe he feels like he’s disappointed his parents on some level. He’s repeating history with Pat and it’s evident with how immaturely he handled the whole architecture play fight.

On the other hand, Pran’s family are incredibly overbearing. They’re the neighbors you don’t want, even if there was no rivalry. They’re nitpicking territory space and picking fights any chance they get. It’s difficult to tell on their side whether the disdain they feel for Pat’s family is generational or if it is heavily on what Pat’s dad did (or both!), but whatever is fueling their side of the rivalry doesn’t ride on reputation. But if it does have to do with the dad, this thing that Pran’s mom is holding onto must be so deeply wounded in her. There’s deep resentment and white hot hatred. There’s enough there that made her pull Pran and send him away.

I am not sure we will see the same growth with Pran’s mom like what we did with Maryse towards Isabelle and Magnus, but I hope someday she will get there. But if this family drama is really what they thrive under, it’s really hard to debate with someone who feeds on the drama. Who picks a fight for the sake of fighting. But if Pran’s mom is using this one thing that she has against Pat’s dad to cause him grief, telling her son that he’s free to do and be whatever he wants just not with That family, what could the drama possibly be to resort to emotional (and eventually physical?) abuse to her own son? Either it’s bad enough that would drive them to stay in their home to take enjoyment in torturing their neighbors or not bad enough to just up and move due to what Pat’s dad did.

Now, how does this all reach some kind of resolution? Either they all address what is specifically tied to Pat’s dad and Pran’s mom or they simply not let whatever it is be put on their sons and their relationship with each other. If it is a generational thing, let it end with Pat and Pran and have the parents die on their respective hills.

[officially-a-bee]

It's common enough practice to leave a chair open for a deceased loved one.

After Iroh died, Zuko left him a chair at every ceremony, every banquet. He already did so when Iroh was alive in Ba Sing Se, because he never wanted there to be too few places if Iroh ever decided to visit spontaneously, so why should he stop? He does it out of love, respect, and remembrance. Everyone knows what it means, and respects the single empty chair.

Izumi continues the tradition, as the next Firelord. It's easy for her, he was her grandfather. She named her son after him.

So, of course, do Iroh II and his sister. He wants to honor his namesake, and she wants to continue the tradition. It's not even a choice for them, neither one ever has to ask the staff to do it. It's customary now. Not even a thought in anyone's heads.

They pass the tradition and stories down to the next generations, and they all make sure to keep it going. No one wants to forget the legendary Uncle Iroh, who saved the world from the metaphorical backseat by being a good dad to THEE Avatar's Friends, and also a badass. The country as a whole begins to integrate it into their own lives - everyday citizens, hearing of the Royal Family's custom and adding empty chairs of their own "for Uncle Iroh" at big gatherings and ceremonies like weddings. They don't always stay empty, though; at home, the people will occasionally let other, extra people come in and stay at the extra seat. They know the old man from the stories was incredibly kind and caring - they know he wouldn't mind. He's got a chair of his own at home.

But maybe one day, centuries have passed, and Zuko's 5-or-6-greats-grandchildren begin to understate Iroh's accomplishments. Other, "brighter" people have come and gone since the end of the 100 Year War. There are newer stories to tell, greater heroes. Not once do they falter with their tradition of leaving a seat open, they just. . . forget. . . to keep the stories as alive as they were the first few times they were told.

By now, the Fire Nation as a whole has integrated "Uncle Iroh's chair" into their spaces. Most of them barely know why it's called that anymore, but it's caused the country to earn a new reputation. One of hospitality and generosity. One of sharing tea with strangers.

Stories of Uncle Iroh may have fallen out of common use, outside of fun stories historians might tell about why they keep that extra chair in the dining room, and why they all call it Uncle's Chair.

And maybe things get rough again, where people can no longer trust the people on the street, but they always keep Uncle's Chair by the table, in case a friend or family member arrives unexpectedly and they have no room.

But long after he's gone, long after he's fallen out of popular stories parents tell to their children at bedtime, he stays in people's hearts.

His legacy becomes that of new friends made at unexpected holidays, of stories told over tea between strangers by the fireplace, of desperate people let in to share the food and warmth.

And I think that's the best lasting effect Uncle Iroh could ever have asked for.

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

In which I chronicle my Legacy of Kain journey and bridge it with your boy Adam Warlock! (Part 5 of many, and MASSIVE, I MEAN, HUMOUNGOUS SPOILERS for Soul Reaver 2 and the 1970’s Warlock)

Awwwwwwwww yeah we are going there, these compositions are most definitely on purpose.

This is where I realize that my true purpose in this world is to draw and talk about obscure or forgotten works of fiction, and I embrace this destiny. 

Ladies and gents, laughing times are over (not really though), sh*t gets very real again.

I guess it’s a bit late for this but if you have even the slightest interest in checking any of these properties out, do yourself a favor and go experience them first hand. If you just want to see me lose my mind and don’t really care about spoilers then please, proceed.

You know, when I started this little crossover of sorts, I was just having a laugh you know? It was just a cute little thing, I’ll write this one post and maybe I’ll get enough material for a second one and that’s it. THIS IS THE SEVENTH POST (even though it says Part 5). 

Never, and I do mean never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be here one day, talking about having your past and your time-travelling-future selves meet and clash, of seeing your sanctimonious attitude and overall the worst about yourself personified and given free reign to go on bloodthirsty crusades showing off how much of a hypocrite you’ve bee- but wait, I am getting a bit ahead of myself. 

I’ll get there I promise, let’s go back a bit.

Where we last left off, we managed to travel back to an even more distant past than we’ve been before. To the time of the great Vampire Purge, so that Raziel can meet this infamous ancient vampire who knows all the lore and might have the answers we seek on what exactly is causing the corruption of our world.

As we step out into this era of History we notice the fields covered with the Sarafan Order banners, and the impaled corpses and chopped-off heads of vampires. No different no doubt from the kindness vampires showed mankind later when they gained the upper hand during Kain’s 1.000 year old reign. Raziel seems a bit distraught by the sight since he assumed the Sarafan to be virtuous and heroic:

“For all the butchery of Moebius’s crusade, this massacre was somehow more chilling. The killing fields of the Sarafan betrayed a kind of orderly ruthlessness, the cold-blooded righteousness of the true believer.”

“Here at last in the flesh, I beheld my former brothers-in-arms, the warrior-priests of the Sarafan order; their lives devoted solely to the annihilation of the vampire plague. And while I confess I felt a twinge of longing, a pang of grief for what I had believed was my lost virtue, I regarded them now with none of the reverence I formally felt. For I had seen the human face of the vampires, and now I beheld the monstrousness of these men.”

While on the topic of genocidal holy wars, my boy Adam here had a bit of a run with a similar pious little group that goes by the name of Universal Church of Truth, who were going about doing a bit of cleaning throughout the galaxy:

Things don’t go so well:

Interestingly enough, I’ve learned of a deleted cutscene for Soul Reaver 2 that plays out very similarly to Adam’s first encounter with this “holy” order. There was this minor female vampire character that was being hunted down and would be executed by vampire hunters right in front of Raziel.

This scene was probably removed because they knew that almost 20 years later there would be some asshole on the internet trying to compare their games to obscure marvel comics of the 70’s.

But yeah bummer for Adam here, we’re a couple of pages in and he’s already failed to save someone. However, through the power of the Soul Gem, he’s able to retain her soul for a brief moment, letting us know more about these holy inquisitors:

Some of these methods don’t seem that far off from the Sarafan, especially on the twisting of good intentions part, but on a galactic scale:

Aye, a great bunch o’ fellas all around, if you submit and “fit in”:

Damn.

Hush Adam, I’ll get back to your predicament give me a moment. I just want the good people at home to keep both this church and the Magus, the god they worship in mind for later.

Now, back to the game. In the Sarafan Stronghold during the first hour of gameplay, Raziel made comments on the vampire he’s currently seeking while looking at some stained glass depictions:

“So this was the legendary Janos Audron - reputed to have been the most ancient and diabolical vampire to have ever existed. According to folklore, he lived high in the cliffs of Nosgoth’s northern mountains, and preyed mercilessly on the defenseless villagers below. His reign of terror ended when the Sarafan finally hunted him down and tore his throbbing heart from his still-living body. (…) But I wondered - could Janos Audron truly have been as monstrous as depicted here? Or was this merely artistic licence by the Sarafan, who sought to lionize themselves by demonizing their darkest enemy?

Keep these stained glass images in mind, they’ll also be important shortly. Neetheless to say, the hype was very real to meet this Janos Audron.

And as I kept hearing about this gentleman, I thought: “I really love this cast of pricks, where everyone speaks in half truths and is hiding something and has some hidden agenda, but you know, I kind of wish there was some slim ray of hope, of goodness and honor, just some good old plain chivalry and honesty. Maybe this Janos lad won’t be as bad as he was depicted back in the Sarafan Stronghold.” 

It took us a while but we’re finally make it to his retreat.

I really love the entire segment, the hopelessness and feeling of dread while making your way through this place, probably my favourite puzzle area of the game.  I also really love the music and architecture here.

When we do make it to the top, BOY OH BOY were my prayers answered!

Lo and behold, enter Raziel’s new daddy/mentor figure, my man JANOS AUDRON! Proabably the one decent and kind creature I’ve seen yet in these games (if you don’t count helpless human npcs who are just trying to live their lives but are caught in all these wars, slaughter and destruction).

FINALLY an understanding, moderate, compassionate man in the midst of all the lies and deception. I love him! Oh and he has what seems to be a Romanian accent. Maybe a nod to the granddaddy of all vampires: Dracula? I think his design is cool as well, so that helps.

Before we go into huge lore dumps and while on the topic of having a brief father/mentor figure for your protagonist when he’s utterly lost, alone and confused, I thought I’d bridge it with Adam’s own once foster parent, the High Evolutionary:

From the few minutes you get to know these dads they’re very different characters with different backstories and motivations. Janos is this sad lonely old man, the last of the ancient vampires and one who has been keeping himself alive solely for his sense of duty. 

While the High Evolutionary was once a man called Herbert Wyndham who performed an experiment that evolved him into a godlike being. This experience proved to be such an assault on his senses and perceptions that he chose to encase himself in this armour. Like the name suggests he is obsessed with genetic manipulation and tampering of various kinds, it is his life’s ambition. 

Despite his somewhat villainous appearance, he’s never portrayed as such from what little I’ve read, he’s just…a bit creepy. Like, he takes Adam in and is super stoked about adopting him, but he also values him not so much as a person per se as you and me would, but more as one would value an impressivly carved piece of work:

I don’t know, maybe it’s his metal face that doesn’t emote much; his sometimes questionable morality; maybe it’s the fact that Adam was 5 years old at this point, a baby boy, and this pink armoured deity is super hyped about him; there’s something a bit unsettling about this guy. Have some more dubious quotes I’ve stumbled upon:

All in all, I think he did care about him, in his own strange way:

Anyway, what’s important is that these adoptive dads serve a somewhat similar purpose, and that is to push/urge our ”“”“"heroes”“”“” (I say with many quotation marks) into a more benevolant role: to guide them in their messianic mission and save a corrupted world. Basically there to provide a chance for them to be good boys. Up until now their track record leaves much to be desired, and they’ve been quite lost on what they’re supposed to be and do.

Raziel:

“So it’s all true, then - what Kain and Vorador have told me - I really am some kind of unholy vampire messiah…”

Janos:

“Unholy? -no. Messiah… perhaps.”

Raziel:

“I don’t like that word - it smells of martyrdom.”

Janos:

“Raziel, your role in this world’s destiny is more crucial - and more benevolent - than you’ve allowed yourself to believe. Your journey will not be easy - dark powers are allied against you.”

Oh and both dads give their sons their toys (Soul Reaver and Soul Gem):

Back to the meeting with Janos, we finally learn tons of things, both new and others that have been hinted at throughout, namely:

Janos has been living a life of a recluse, alone, on top of the Aerie;

Janos knows of Raziel (some old legend I think) and has been waiting for him to hand him over the Soul Reaver, saying it is the key to save Nosgoth;

The Pillars of Nosgoth were erected by the ancient vampires and they were the rightful guardians. Janos was called to be th 10th guardian, the Keeper of the Reaver;

Over time this ancient race started to die out, with their history slowly being forgotten;

Humanity prospered and since the Pillars choose their guardians from birth and vampires were no longer born, humans were called to be their guardians but were “wholly ignorant of their true purpose.”

The Circle of human guardians is led to believe (by whom we do not yet know) that vampires are a cancer in the world. Janos warns that “with their vampire purge, the members of the Circle have assaulted the very architects of the Pillars they are sworn to protect (…) With every vampire they kill, the humans are slitting their own throats.”

Janos being a cool level-headed guy here when Raziel says he must hate mankind for all the suffering they’ve brought to him:

“They fear what they don’t understand; and they despise what they fear. But no - I do not hate them.”

I find it funny how Raziel asks if humanity should be forgiven for trying to exterminate the vampire kind and doesn’t realize that: one, he himself was exterminating vampires just a couple of moments ago back in SR1; and two, how he is just like how Janos describes humanity to be:

“They don’t understand what they’re doing. They are simply unenlightened… and vulnerable to manipulation.”

Again, this last line, completely unlike a certain blue shambling corpse I know. Not like him AT ALL.

Then, as they head inside, we learn something odd as Janos presents Raziel with the Reaver. You see, the two times Raziel has been close to the Soul Reaver still in its physical form, reality started to bend and distort (I show it off in this previous post). 

When we met Kain and decided not to kill him, he explained that when: “two incarnations of the blade meet in time and space, a paradox is  created, a temporal distortion powerful enough to derail history”

This distortion, or sense of displacement however, is nowhere to be found now when Janos presents the blade to him. Raziel feels nothing and says that “this nothingness is somehow worse…” and to get it away from him.

We learn the Reaver was forged by the same ancient vampire race that erected the Pillars (which we’ve seen hinted at when we explored the land and came accross all sorts of old murals).

But now THIS is when the game first impales me through the heart.

Me and Janos are interrupted by the Sarafan warriors who arrive carrying Moebius’ Staff (which disables vampires to the point of being barely able to move at all).

And of course! OF COURSE! Of course the moment my boy Raziel finds a truly positive influence in his life to guide and enlinghten him, and that was willing to put himself in danger in order to save him… he is axed! HEART RIPPED FROM HIS CHEST!

And by whom you ask? Who would do such a deed and kill my last ray of hope?

WHY, ME! 

TWICE!

“Me” because I was the one to open an entrance to Janos’ up until then impenetrable retreat, and literally me: human Raziel of the Sarafan that lived during this time period and was head inquisitor!

A bit different from what was depicted back at the Sarafan Stronghold, we found several centuries later (putting the same image here again so you don’t have to scroll up to compare, am I swell or what?):

The Sarafan escape with Janos’ heart and the Reaver, while wraith Raziel has a final moment with Janos. 

This part destroys me:

Raziel:

“Forgive me; I’m sorry… I failed you.”

Janos: (gently)

“No, Raziel. Perhaps this was my true purpose - simply to save your life this once.”

Raziel: (distraught)

“While I have taken yours…”

That last bit is probably my favourite line-read in the entire series so far (which is the most impossible thing to choose since there are so many great ones). But I think it’s the overwhelming sadness in Raziel’s voice that makes it memorable, you’ve never seen him feel like this for another creature.

Breaks my stone hardened heart every time I listen to it. And here’s why I think it’s an effective emotional scene, even though we only get a few minutes with Janos before he is murdered - it is because of contrast. Up until now everyone you meet is some degree of a bad or manipulative person, and you don’t really have a true friend or someone to confide in, there’s no one that really brings out the best in Raziel and it sucks because there is potential there.  So when you introduce the apparently only decent and noble person in this god forsaken land and you’re so used to by now suspect and mistrust everyone, it is impactful because he was truth and honesty in a sea of deception and moral relativism. He was my light in the midst of the fog and the one who saw good in me. And right when you’re finally relaxing and getting confortable the game pulls the rug from under you.

Now, while on the topic of having your past and future meet, there was a little something about the meeting between Adam and the Universal Church of Truth that I’ve been saving up until now. If you remember, Adam was interrogating the young woman who was killed by the inquisitors about the church and the god they worship. When suddenly:

Good news is, Adam must’ve taken a left turn somewhere and ended up on the set for “Monty Python’s Life of Brian”, where he learned some latin:

This helped him quickly figure out the Magus’ identity:

Learn your dead tongues kids, you never know when it might come in handy when meeting your time travelling, thousands of years old future-self:

So as you can se, we have a similar self-discovery journey going on but reversed in a way. In Raziel’s case you play as his future self, who time travels back in time, meets his past self and sees what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. In Adam’s case you follow his present self, who meets the Magus (his future self), who has travelled back in time 5.000 years, in which time he has built his empire. Meeting and confronting said empire/future self, leads Adam to see what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. You see, both Adam and Raziel have always been their own worst enemy (their own shortcomings and character flaws). So it would be only natural that we get embodiments of the worst in them: Raziel, the human Sarafan Warrior and the Magus, their past and future selves respectively.

Oof, this was a long one, and I’ve reach the character limit. In the next post I’ll elaborate more on their characters and different selves; and we go through the roller-coaster of emotions that is the endgame for both these stories.

Look foward to me losing my mind even further while I go into time travelling, paradox shenanigans… oh, and look foward to happier times with COSMIC SUICIDE! See you in the near future.

[edenmemes]

apex legends sentence starters

❝ have you prepared for your end? i have. ❞ ❝ be careful. i don’t carry all these weapons for nothing. ❞ ❝ fear is my currency. ❞ ❝ this didn’t have to be your end. you chose this fate. ❞ ❝ let's not finish quickly. where's the fun in that? ❞ ❝ so i like to have a little fun. so what? ❞ ❝ we'll get along beautifully, just don't touch my things. ❞ ❝ you might be of use to me yet. ❞ ❝ your will to fight is admirable...but in this cae, pointless. ❞ ❝ you fight without honor. stragetic. ❞ ❝ you shuld have scurried away when you had the chance. ❞ ❝ either you're with me or you're against me, or you're with me and against me, cause  that happens sometimes. ❞ ❝ a faint heart never won a lady like me. ❞ ❝ what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine. ❞ ❝ there’s a void in your heart. ❞ ❝ you're not the first blemish i’ve cut away. you won’t be the last. ❞ ❝ i’m always dressed to kill. ❞ ❝ would you like a kiss to make it better? ❞ ❝ a gun is like a beautiful woman. hold her tight, or someone else will. ❞ ❝ don’t go thinking i owe you anything. ❞ ❝ business is my pleasure. ❞ ❝ i had dreamt of quiet like that, but now that i had it, i was terrified. and alone. ❞ ❝ trust the gust of the wind. ❞ ❝ you got blood on my shoes! ❞ ❝ the quickest way to a man’s heart is through the chest. ❞ ❝ looking for me? here i am. ❞ ❝ the secret to life ain’t happiness. it’s knowing the unhappy times won’t last forever. ❞ ❝ i used to fear many things, but that man is gone. ❞ ❝ we had fun, right? i had fun. ❞ ❝ i love you. and i can’t wait to start our life together. ❞ ❝ i didn’t do it for you. ❞ ❝ you may be stronger, but i’m smarter. ❞ ❝ get up before i kill you myself. ❞ ❝ what if your parents could see this now? ❞ ❝ this is the only life i know. ❞ ❝ the one you should have concerns with is me. ❞ ❝ you are a good killer, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ you are no coward. remember that. ❞ ❝ don’t be embarassed. it happens to everyone...sometimes. ❞ ❝ there is more honor in death than in life without test. ❞ ❝ when you have nothing else to lose, it’s easy to win. ❞ ❝ knowledge is power...and pain. ❞ ❝ get your claws off of me. ❞ ❝ i ain’t afraid of you, you hear me? ❞ ❝ goodnight, beautiful. ❞ ❝ it’s not just about having it. it’s about taking it. ❞ ❝ maybe we’ll be friends next time. ❞ ❝ i had to claw my way to the top. do you think i’m going to let you stop me? ❞ ❝ in another life, this may have been different. ❞ ❝ this didn’t have to happen. ❞ ❝ you got this. just look in front of you, behind you, above you, all at once. you'll be fine. ❞ ❝ i swore i'd never waste my life on a vendetta again. don't test that vow. ❞ ❝ you’re either ready or you’re an idiot. ❞ ❝ don’t worry, i still love you. ❞ ❝ take your pride, and cherish it. ❞ ❝ i love when the spotlight’s on me. ❞ ❝ the most beautiful creatures have the deadliest venom. ❞ ❝ i make it look easy, don’t i? ❞ ❝ maybe i’ll let you live to tell the tale...maybe not. ❞ ❝ alright so my place is a little sloppy, so what? doesn't mean i'm a mess in the field. ❞ ❝ smell that? that’s the sweet aroma of fear. ❞ ❝ i want your heart. ❞ ❝ is everything you do half-assed? ❞ ❝ it’s hell. every second of my existence is hell. ❞ ❝ you’ve been marked for death. ❞ ❝ step quieter next time. ❞ ❝ wanna take me out? i’ll buy the drinks. ❞ ❝ i’ve been through hell to get here. ❞ ❝ look into my eyes. i want to remember this. ❞ ❝ what made you think you were special? ❞ ❝ beg for your life. it’s good for both of us. ❞ ❝ next time you’ll do better. ❞ ❝ teammates are good. they do nicely as shields. ❞ ❝ go on, it’s okay to be afraid. ❞ ❝ champion, challenger...means little if you die. ❞ ❝ brought to your knees by a beautiful woman? don’t be surprised. ❞ ❝ you should have stayed home today. ❞ ❝ your skill isn’t half bad. ❞ ❝ i strike swift and deadly like my dad. he called it "business", i call it a party. ❞ ❝ a lady never kills and tells. ❞ ❝ most beautiful things are fragile. not me. ❞ ❝ you and i are not equals. ❞ ❝ and here’s what’s left of your legacy. ❞ ❝ they made me a killing machine. who am i to argue with programming? ❞ ❝ don’t worry, i’m just perfect. ❞ ❝ pick out something nice for me, won’t you? ❞ ❝ so tell me, one liar to another, what brings you here? ❞ ❝ i’m a man eater and a lady killer. i enjoy the variety. ❞ ❝ i knew this would happen, just didn’t know when. ❞ ❝ i know more than you will ever know. ❞ ❝ you think i’m going to help you? it’ll be a cold day in hell before i ever help someone like you. ❞ ❝ what...you think just ‘cause i’ve only known you for a day, that i don’t know you? ❞ ❝ if you think you’re dying, it can kill you. ❞ ❝ you can’t be overdressed or overarmed. ❞ ❝ follow me and i’ll gut you like a fish. ❞ ❝ half of you is always in shadow, no matter how well lit the room is. ❞ ❝ i’m the diamond, you’re the rough. ❞ ❝ you can rest now...i never will. ❞ ❝ men. if they had half a brain, they’d be considered gifted. ❞ ❝ quit your whinging and fight. ❞ ❝ i know if we fought together, things would be different. ❞ ❝ pain...death...nothing phases me. ❞ ❝ they say you’re most alive when you’re in love. ❞ ❝ your final hour can’t be escaped. embrace it. ❞ ❝ i may not look like a fighter, but strength isn’t everything. ❞ ❝ you ain’t that bright if you want to take me on. ❞ ❝ come on, you can’t forget this face. ❞ ❝ we are our future, not our past. ❞ ❝ my light shines bright. ❞ ❝ no one is truly innocent, so we all deserve help. ❞ ❝ i just got you back in my life. i can’t lose you again. ❞ ❝ i once shot someone for just not giving me a message. but that shouldn't scare you...much. ❞ ❝ don’t blame yourself, i deserve the credit. ❞ ❝ never forget that no matter how big you are, the world is always bigger. ❞ ❝ don’t confuse my kindness with weakness. ❞ ❝ i can already smell the blood. ❞ ❝ no, it’s ‘vintage’. there’s a difference. ‘old’ is bad. ‘vintage’ is good. ❞ ❝ like a deer in the headlights...and i’m the headlights. ❞ ❝ you’re looking at a fighter. what am i looking at? ❞ ❝ you need to love what you do, care about what you do, and believe in your ability to do what you do. ❞ ❝ i don’t fear anything. can you say the same? ❞ ❝ we all have our reasons. don’t take this personally. ❞ ❝ let’s just say a little birdie told me all about you. ❞ ❝ that little voice saying there’s still hope? it’s lying. ❞ ❝ shhh...it’s just a bad dream. ❞ ❝ do you have any more questions that might illuminate your ignorance? ❞ ❝ i’m tired of you saving my life. ❞ ❝ does this mean we’re friends now? ❞ ❝ somebody has to lose. that’s just how this works. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry it had to be this way. ❞ ❝ you can only trust those who you know are liars. ❞ ❝ it’s an honor to fight alongside someone with the passion of fire that burns a thousand suns. ❞ ❝ i can see it in your eyes that you have the courage to climb to your rightful place over those who wronged you. ❞ ❝ i know what you’re looking for. come see me. ❞ ❝ may the gods bless you. ❞ ❝ what a sad little creature you are. ❞ ❝ you call yourself a legend? how unwarranted. ❞ ❝ i know what i like, and i know how to get it. ❞ ❝ you’ve got to watch your back. you can’t trust others to do it for you. ❞ ❝ you found me. good eyes. ❞ ❝ someone had to show you your place. ❞ ❝ greed will eat your mortal sorrow. ❞ ❝ you burned bright, but you burned out. ❞ ❝ you did your best...unfortunately. ❞ ❝ want advice? shoot first. ❞ ❝ think carefully about what brought you to this moment. very carefully. ❞ ❝ that may have felt like overkill. it was. ❞ ❝ i’ve seen it all. today’s no different. ❞ ❝ without pain the body suffers in silence. ❞ ❝ bleed, patch, and keep moving. ❞ ❝ i’m not hard to understand. death is my language. ❞ ❝ the biggest trap is your own mind. ❞ ❝ don’t look for sympathy. you won’t find it. ❞ ❝ you can beg for mercy. it won’t help, but go on. ❞ ❝ you’re already falling for me. ❞ ❝ they’ve already forgotten you. ❞ ❝ i’m a lone wolf with a bite. ❞ ❝ don’t beat yourself up. leave that to me. ❞ ❝ another day, another road. ❞ ❝ look for me, and what you wil see you will never forget. ❞ ❝ watch out: i’ll eat you alive. ❞ ❝ labels are a curse, and a target. ❞ ❝ this direction calls to me. let us go. ❞ ❝ you did not fail. you played your part to its end. ❞ ❝ do i have something on my face? you look at me strangely. ❞ ❝ i’ve been described as deadly and beautiful, but i am also approachable. ❞ ❝ humanity is just a word. ❞ ❝ i don’t settle. i’m not made that way. ❞ ❝ the sheer terror that comes with dying...i remember it well. ❞ ❝ now this...this is worth living for. ❞ ❝ once a fight gets too noisy, i bring the silence. ❞ ❝ i don’t consider death cruel, but life is. ❞ ❝ what’s your name? i have to know. ❞ ❝ you should smile more. ❞ ❝ even when you are helping, you are appalling. ❞ ❝ life won’t flash before your eyes. it just...ends. ❞ ❝ the rabbit’s cries brings the wolves. ❞ ❝ so then again i ask, why the frown? ❞ ❝ i hope you rot in hell for what you’ve done. ❞ ❝ i like my women like i like my sake: cool and filtered and on someone else’s tab. ❞ ❝ only fight the battles you know you can win. ❞ ❝ i wanted you to know: you’re still here. at my side. in my heart. in my ear. on the tip of my tongue. and you always will be. ❞ ❝ my former collegues would have eaten you alive. ❞ ❝ i will crush everything that stands in my way. everything. ❞ ❝ i am the master of my fate. ❞ ❝ you fight without honor. stragetic. but you also fight without skill. ❞ ❝ rats can be taught. you are something lesser. ❞ ❝ cast off your fear. now is the time for fascination. ❞ ❝ you’ve got a face like a wet weekend, mate. ❞ ❝ i never forget. i wait for your inevitable misstep. ❞ ❝ i’ll regret that decision until the day i die. ❞ ❝ sometimes you get tired of running, i understand, but you can’t ever stop. ❞ ❝ no one is coming to save you. no one ever was. ❞ ❝ i see my reputation precedes me. ❞ ❝ you’re a fragile little fly, just like the others. i’ll pull your wings off eventually. ❞ ❝ i wish there was more time to spend with you. ❞ ❝ i kept you in the dark about a lot of things...it sounds bad, but it was safer if you didn’t know. ❞ ❝ i pray you found peace. that, above all else, is what matters the most. ❞ ❝ i find no pleasure in taking a life that doesn’t appreciate it. ❞ ❝ ever get the feeling you’re not alone? you’re not. ❞  ❝ there’s still time to run. ❞ ❝ are you still watching? good. this next part is just for you.  ❞ ❝ you kill, i create. this is why i win. ❞ ❝ i fight for the accused, the cursed...the exceptional. ❞ ❝ do not believe any rumors about me that i have not started. ❞ ❝ i don’t figure myself as the best. just as everyone else being the worst. ❞ ❝ you mind if i don’t feel bad for you? right, thanks mate. ❞ ❝ time to go home to your loved ones. ❞ ❝ stand out, or stand aside. ❞ ❝ if you don’t like what you see, put a bag over your head. ❞ ❝ legend...huh. sometimes we all pretend to be something we’re not. ❞ ❝ i’ve been watching you. ❞ ❝ i will not be cast aside. ❞ ❝ i know what i came for. i’ll get it one way or another. ❞ ❝ you can only hide from the inevitable from so long. ❞ ❝ until we meet again. ❞ ❝ if i flirt with you, will that make you move faster? ❞ ❝ no. you don’t get to die before i do. ❞ ❝ you alright, mate? looking a bit messy. ❞ ❝ why can’t i just die already? ❞ ❝ do not look away. courage first, my friend. ❞ ❝ it appears intelligence is just a word to you. ❞ ❝ i’ve never heard of you. ❞ ❝ sometimes you lose, sometimes you’re me. ❞ ❝ quitting is for losers. ❞ ❝ i do not fight to be accepted. i fight to be free of your acceptance. ❞ ❝ know your place. ❞ ❝ cherish the lesson you’re about to learn. ❞ ❝ i do not wait for inspiration; i take it. ❞ ❝ can’t let your guard down because if you do, someone better will take advantage of it. ❞ ❝ i’m also a good liar. ❞ ❝ you will achieve greatness. just not in victory. ❞ ❝ do not hide your true colours. they are your strength. ❞ ❝ a lady never kills and tells. ❞ ❝ you saved me. careful, people will talk. ❞ ❝ i’m not one for bragging but... ❞ ❝ sure, you have reasons. don't we all. ❞ ❝ fancy seeing you here. figured you’d be dead by now. ❞ ❝ that looked like it hurt. ❞ ❝ don’t take this personally but i just don’t like your style. or your face. or just literally anything about you. ❞ ❝ science is precise...as am i. ❞ ❝ didn’t your parents teach you manners? ❞ ❝ i have no regrets. it’s not in my dna. ❞ ❝ this isn’t personal. you’re just in my way. ❞ ❝ don’t blame yourself. you have a whole family that failed you. ❞ ❝ want advice? stay out of my way. ❞ ❝ my methods are only controversial to those who lack imagination. ❞ ❝ you can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape yourself. ❞ ❝ have you said your goodbyes? ❞ ❝ i’d thank everyone who helped me get here, but they’re all dead. ❞ ❝ no flirting. ❞ ❝ too bad your parents aren’t here to see this. ❞ ❝ careful, i’ll steal more than just your heart. ❞ ❝ where’s your sense of style? ❞ ❝ can’t any of you stop me? unlikely. ❞ ❝ a mind is like a blade...mine is hone. yours is dull. ❞ ❝ many have made the mistake of crossing me. many more will make it today. ❞ ❝ well, i suppose i would’ve understimated me too. ❞ ❝ ah, well that was a little careless of you, love. ❞ ❝ this isn’t between you and me. this is between you and a promise i mean to keep. ❞ ❝ this is your problem. you give up too easily! ❞ ❝ the truth. tell me the truth. ❞ ❝ you had an opportunity to impress me...what a waste. ❞ ❝ what you attempt to do to me comes back to you...tenfold. ❞ ❝ the best revenge is cold as steel. ❞ ❝ i have crushed far more impressive fighters than you. ❞ ❝ let nothing distract you from the fight. ❞ ❝ the competition is lacking. i’ve had no choice but to step in personally. ❞ ❝ the war might be over...but the fight isn’t. never is. ❞ ❝ don’t go making that face at me. you know full well you signed up for this. ❞ ❝ ooh, could get messy, i’m afraid. ❞ ❝ a powerful woman knows what she wants. ❞ ❝ you and me are in this together. remember that. ❞ ❝ i’m not going to make it quick. that’ll spoil the fun. ❞ ❝ i’ll break your heart. and then i’ll break everything else. ❞ ❝ aww, you think you’re tough? ❞ ❝ beauty is pain. ❞ ❝ oh no, did that hurt darling? ❞ ❝ i fought nightmares all my life. you don’t scare me. ❞ ❝ your achievements are as meaningless as you are. ❞ ❝ come on, let’s see if we’re a match. ❞ ❝ you know, deep down, the real curse? is loving you. ❞ ❝ you’re supposed to be a killer. so prove it. ❞ ❝ there's a reason you put up all those walls... ❞ ❝ you've received the gift of life, and what do you do with it? make it all about you. ❞ ❝ how else did you expect it to end? alone. unwanted. and deservedly unloved. ❞ ❝ no one gives a crap who’s better, all i care about is who’s the best. ❞ ❝ you think you’ll make out of this alive? ❞ ❝ you’ve spent your whole life hiding behind someone else’s shadow. ❞ ❝ you devoted life to a fairy tale, shunning every soul who bothered to care about you.   ❞ ❝ i don’t want to kill you, but you’re in my way. ❞ ❝ face death with dignity...or don’t. ❞ ❝ no more running. not from the fortune you waste, the friends you manipulate, or the parents who can't stand you. misery can't be outrun. ❞ ❝ least you’re not becoming your mom, right? ❞ ❝ you chose this emptiness. sink in it. ❞ ❝ no thanks needed. buy me a drink, though. ❞ ❝ you are not indestructible as you think. come on. ❞ ❝ you're not used to feeling this way. powerless. ineffective. impotent. well, there's a first time for everything. ❞ ❝ talk about them again. i dare you. ❞ ❝ i have centuries of self-loathing to work through. ❞ ❝ it’s not worth it. shut it down. give up. ❞ ❝ i’m just pulling your leg, it’s totally for the babes. ❞ ❝ if i can be honest, i just like the killing. ❞ ❝ make a corpse, and you’ll get some flies. ❞ ❝ oh, you...i love our banter. ❞ ❝ it isn’t easy. i just make it look that way. ❞ ❝ you’re worse than i remembered - somehow. ❞ ❝ unfortunately, some jobs don’t go according to plan. ❞ ❝ i was...careless. too attached. ❞ ❝ my focus is on a greater goal. i cannot be distracted. ❞ ❝ i ain’t staying down. never do. ❞ ❝ too bad your mama and papa aren't here. i would've enjoyed seeing their disgust at the monster their little girl has become. ❞ ❝ i've been knocked down, taken out, hit from both sides hundreds of times. ❞ ❝ i'm growing as a person, but i’m still me. ❞ ❝ i can’t say i’m pleased with how deep you dug into my past. ❞ ❝ the hell with that and the hell with you. ❞ ❝ you think you’re the victim? what about me? what about what i lost? ❞ ❝ i always pay my respects to your family. does that make me soft? ❞ ❝ i was bored until you came along. ❞ ❝ do not cross me, or my blade will cross you. ❞ ❝ when you’re after a big prize, you don’t just walk in and take it. first, you have to do the legwork. ❞ ❝ let’s take a seat, this might take awhile. ❞ ❝ if i ever let you down, it’s probably because i grew tired of carrying you. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to be here anymore than you do. ❞ ❝ then comes my favourite part...the screaming. ❞ ❝ i plan on getting under your skin. ❞ ❝ they say i use humor as a defense mechanism. ❞ ❝ any last words? i must know. ❞ ❝ don’t bother trying to find me. i’ll find you. ❞ ❝ last people i killed looked hopeful too. ❞  ❝ i don’t do this for fame or glory. i do this for fun. ❞ ❝ being human is overrated. ❞

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Survivor / Ex-Counselor Testimony.  Originally posted OnTheEmmis.com Oct. 2004

in my case, i was a true believer. i did the things that i did, because i was fully convinced that my actions served a greater purpose; although, it was a greater purpose that i never fully understood. at that time, i believed that i just didn't possess the spiritual aptitude to fully "get it." i remember, shortly after one particularly brutal purpose, i came to the realization that bob, clint, dl, and others were just better men than i. i just wasn't born with whatever they possessed. i was lucky just to have a wife, job, etc. moreover, i realized that i might ultimately lose these things because...why should have them, i didn't deserve them. meehan and his wife continued to drive this point. any time that my self image began to improve, they trumped up some kind of charge and put me back in the hot-seat. i didn't have a poor self-image when i met bob. i was an honor student, an accomplished musician, and I had reached a number of personal goals in my early recovery. i had planned to become a journalist. however, meehan began chipping away at my confidence shortly after i met him. he was highly skilled at this form of abuse. incidently this is the primary reason, in my mind, that the "rape analogy" fits so well. in any event, by the time i was fully in the phx mix, i was expending all of my energy attempting to "get it." at times, i thought i did "get it." then i would go talk to bob and joy, they would inevitably berate me and send me away crushed. in addition to destroying my self-image, they destroyed my reputation. over the years, bob and joy created a dark profile and attached my name to it. they then systematically sold it to the entire icecap staff, as well as many of the parents and group members. they branded me a "woman-hater" (which i have never been), a "control-freak," and a "cult-leader". sound like anyone we know. they convinced people that innocent playful acts were really "attacks, " insidious attempts to harm people and take control. every move i made had a deeper meaning, somehow designed to control, intimidate, and harm others, especially women. they convinced my wife of these things, as well. at one point, i had to make amends to a young staffer for removing some excess salad dressing from my daughters salad after she had accidently poured on too much. why the amends? because this was obviously an act of terrorism against my wife (who was also at the dinner table). therefore, the staffer, who was eating dinner with us, had been the victim of poor role-modeling and this legacy of abuse would surely be carried on to his children some day. this was a serious matter which required my being harshly abused for at least 2 hours at meehan's kitchen table. these kinds of scenarios were never ending. once my daughter asked to take a picture of my wife and i together. of course, i was seen as a vicious culprit in this scenario. clearly, i had "set-up" my daughter to ask for the picture in an attempt to "manipulate" my wife into bonding with me, when she "needed" to pull away from me. every question i asked, every statement i made, if i worked too much, if i didn't work enough...these things were always under scrutiny. anything i said could and was used against me. i wasn't angry at bob and joy; i knew it was my fault. i was "toxic", as one former icecap director had put it. that said, there came a point in time when i began to realize that meehan was acting, at the expense of others, in his own self interest. this happened in part because meehan began to confide in me. "we take care of our own." "it's about the money." i began to realize that the harm that had been perpetrated upon others--i wasn't thinking of myself as having been harmed--were not acts attached to a higher purpose, but acts designed to make bob's life, and the lives of the rest of "us" better. prior to that time, i had also believed that people who were mistreated--not my term for it then--were being acted upon in ways that would ultimately help them. meehan knew i had a high degree of compassion and empathy, he would not have allowed me to believe others were being harmed, until i had connected with "my true sociopathic male self" (meehan's words). his awareness of my compassion was also the reason he chose to brand me as a woman-hater, an effective way to destroy my self-esteem. when i realized that we were harming others, i decided to leave icecap. i could have walked away right then. i almost did. i knew i would lose my wife and daughter. i knew they would marry-off goody 2 shoes as quickly as possible, and i knew that my daughter would grow up calling some other guy dad. i even had a short-list of whom they would choose to marry my wife. i decided to take-off and not look back. i was literally on my way out of town. i didn't want to leave my wife--who was my true love--but i didn't even recognize her anymore. the thought of leaving my daughter broke my heart, as well. then i thought i could leave, fight meehan, shut him down, and get my family back. but, i realized they would probably have 2 shoes married, and possibly pregnant, in order to avoid this scenario. maybe i should have left. perhaps that would have been the right thing to do. instead, i chose to stay and work on getting my family out with me. subterfuge became my game. that decision meant that i continued to participate in icecap and continued to harm others--though i made a concerted effort to try to get an anti-mind-control message through, especially in the training classes i taught. i stayed for another year and finally left with my family intact...somewhat.

[girlqvccn]

Write (for Mama Moose)

JOURNAL MEME: 

                My daughters are unique. 

So unique, there’s not even really a name for them. Nephilim, technically, but they’re more than that. They’re in a category all on their own. I see them, growing into their power, the older they get. It’s difficult being a mother, especially to gifted, cursed children like them. It’s times like these I wish I had mom, I wish I knew her, could talk to her. I’m still learning how to be a parent, what that means. 

They’re turning six next week, they’re getting so big. I wish I could keep them small. The war hasn’t stopped, in fact it’s gotten so much worse. But I don’t blame them for that, or anyone really. The world is full of ignorance, I just want the killing to stop. I see how much it hurts Lucifer to watch his family die, some by his own hand. 

But I wouldn’t change it for the world. My girls are a gift, a precious gift. They’ve given me something I never thought I would have, or ever deserve. But, I’m afraid. I’m afraid for them, and what their life will be. Yes, the Winchesters are a legacy, but in our own right we are a curse too, and to bare the tarnished reputation of a Morningstar, too. 

I feel for them, I want to do anything and everything I can to protect them from the horrors of this world. But, I can’t ever shelter them from themselves, can I? I mean, I can try...sure. But, what good would that do? I tried running from what’s inside me, I failed every time. And I made them a promise,                 To protect them, at all cost                     To love them, unconditionally                          To never lie to them, no matter what. 

I still remember that day when I met Lucifer, when he said that to me - that he would never lie to me, that he would never trick me. And so far, he has honored that. I know, in many circumstances, we want to protect our children - and I know that I used wish that my dad had lied to me about the monster in my closet. But, I see now, why he didn’t. He did it so I was prepared, so I wouldn’t be blind-sided, so I could be protected. We were raised like warriors, and while I desperately want a normal life for them, like I wanted for myself, I just know that won’t be possible. 

It breaks my heart every day, to know that their lives will be so violent, so war-torn, so different. I always grew up feeling like a freak, and that’s the last thing I want for my children, but I let them know every day just how beautiful they are, not despite their differences but because of them. They feel safe with me, with us. They are happy, and that’s the most important thing. They’re not quite to that age of understanding the dangerous implications of their existence, and I’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible. Preserve their innocence. 

I wish Mom and Dad were still here to see them, to know them. But also, part of me doesn’t. What would they think of them? Would they love and accept them? They don’t even know their uncle Dean. Oh, I can only imagine how well that would go over. 

I hate this. And at the same time, I love this. 

We have a beautiful home, and a beautiful family. But I miss the rest of mine. 

I miss Dean. I think the last time I saw him I was still pregnant. I think, I don’t remember. It’s been so long. 

The girls, the older they get the more they look like me. But, as Lucifer likes to put it, they have a hint of the devil in their eyes. And he’s not wrong, beautiful blue eyes that look right through your soul if you let them. And they’re so sweet. So gentle. So full of life and love. But when their power seeps through, when they get upset, when they’re sad, it’s like the Earth is exploding around us, we have to buy light bulbs constantly. It’s a small price to pay, I guess. 

I do know that I will need to get back into the research on Nephilim, Cambion, and the like. The more I know, the better able I will be to help them, to guide them. Lucifer helps, and I’m grateful. But, I can’t put it all on him. And I have a feeling this is going to be a learn as we go experience. Either way, I will always love them. Always. 

[thefairefolk-rp]

Orla Fang | FC: Ania Bukstein | OPEN Age: 644 Species: Sidhe Faerie Court: Wolf Clan Occupation: General of the Wolf Clan Army Gender: Cis Woman Pronouns: She/Her

Appearance

Orla dresses to be seen. It is a strategic act, as delicately placed as her words. Her parents were fashionable people in their time at court. And she too has found a taste for fine things. While many Solitary clan leaders still appear noticeably solitary fae in their dress, Orla has pandered more to the tastes of the city fae, and is known to frequent the shops of many popular clothiers in the city. There are subtle militaristic nods in her clothing, from epaulettes on her shoulders to stylized armor-like metal garments. Like most amongst the Wolf Clan, trophies from her most prized hunts are still used to adorn Orla’s clothing, from wolf fang necklaces to fine furs for the winter months. 

Orla speaks with measured tact, weaving her words like the most clever of nobles. There is a pleasant lilt for her voice, with the hint of a Wildland accent when she speaks High Fae or the Common Tongue. If you see an emotion on her face, it’s likely she wants you to. Ever the chameleon, her affectations can change to suit her audience.

Personality

Orla’s stubbornness is both her greatest gift and her most limiting trait. In her best moments, she has has a drive that ranges on machine-like in it’s endurance. But, this can come at the detriment of her well being when she drives herself to hard and ignores her own needs. Orla was raised from youth to believe the future of their family rested on her shoulders. She was taught to believe in duty above all other feelings, and that her destiny could only be to re-earn her place at court. Her feelings toward this legacy is equal parts resentment and determination. It is not as though a life different from this hasn’t tempted her. Orla views the colorful and hedonistic lives of those around her as enviable but out of reach for her. In truth, if asked who she was, Orla would talk of honor, duty and strength, but little of her hopes and dreams. Those are the types of things pushed to the back of her head, to be indulged in once her mission is complete. She is skilled at saying what others want to hear, and endearing herself to others largely through trickery and lies. But, true comfort and fondness for others are things she has learned to fear, lest they distract her from her plans or blow her cover. However, more and more she has had creeping doubt if the purpose in life she was taught to want is what she truly wants herself.

Background

Fang is not Orla’s true surname.  Her true name is one that would be recognized throughout Midsummer, if she only had the power to utter it aloud. Orla’s father, Azriel was a member of the Black family, one of the most well connected noble families in the Seelie court. The Blacks came from a long line of loyal knights, and were known to be some of the Seelie court’s best fighters and fiercest defenders. But, Azriel betrayed their families code in the name of greed, and was caught in a half-baked scheme to overthrow the crown. Azriel and his pregnant wife fled to the Wildland before the knights could apprehend them. Knowing they would be hung if caught in the Seelie court again, the disgraced family looked to the solitary clans who made their home in the wilderness as their salvation. There are many drastic differences between city fae and solitary fae. But, luckily for the Black family their reputation as warriors was enough to earn them a place amongst the war-minded Wolf Clan. With time the memory of the lost sect of the Black family faded to little more than a distant tale. Azriel never came to terms with his fall from grace. He spent the rest of his life searching for that perfect plan to earn his spot in court back, driving himself near mad in the process. Although Orla was born in the Wolf Clan, she raised to believe their stay in the Wold clan was merely temporary. As a child, she listened to her father with baited breath as he wove stories of their grand return to court. After the mandatory sparring lessons expected of all Wolf Clan children, Orla had nightly sparring and strategy lessons with her father late into the night to continue the family’s line of military prowess. Excellence was what was expected of her, and in time excellence is what she achieved. became one of the youngest Wolf Clan generals in history. But, despite all their success in the Wolf Clan, Orla’s father died never achieving his dream of returning to court. So, she took on the burden herself.  

Changing her surname was her first step of her plan. A succesful introduction to the important nobles at court was the second. And as Orla had hoped, nobles seemed taken with the novelty of a fierce, beautiful Wolf Clan general who plays the social games of court with the smoothness of a court lady. Orla gathered some inital fame among the uppercrust from posing for an epic portrait in full war regalia, painted by one of the most celebrated painters in the Midsummer. She has become a popular guest at noble’s parties and is regularly welcomed to the royal courts as a guest of the monarchs. Her true identity remains a secret to most, including the last of her father’s family in the city. Guiding her every step is a detailed series of journals written by her dad. In them is everything he knew about just about every noble family at court, the best ways to gain favor with them, and a handful of other valuable secrets and ideas he thought could aid his mission to regain their honor. 

Relationships

Long-lost cousin of Balthazar Black

Blackmailing Luna Crow

[drowningsongsrp]

These are the Canons from our first subplot Founding Families.

Faces can be mixed and matched and are not necessarily bound by what’s suggested here. If you have specific ideas for the character, feel free to reach out to an admin to talk through, we’re happy to be flexible and help brainstorm.

We do not permit whitewashing of any of the canons listed here. Please keep this in mind when choosing a FC that is not suggested below.

THE WOLFF FAMILY

Eleonora Wolff  Deceased ᐧ NPC 

ELEAONORA WOLFF was one of the last remaining true believers, who sustained a practice of feeding THE ABYSS through rituals, even when its demands became greater. Tourists were chosen and stolen away to become its annual offerings. Eleonora called them ‘sacrifices’ whereas others saw them for what they were: murders. As THE ABYSS grew hungrier than she could ever feed alone, she made one last offering by walking herself into the cold sea. Eleonora left one child behind, a daughter born out of an affair with a PENEWAIT man – LIANA PENEWAIT. The child was raised by the Penewaits after Eleonora’s own family disowned her.

FC: Helen Mirren

Emanuel Wolff  54 ᐧ Taken by Lina 

A disappointment, the odd one out. Emanuel was soft, yielding, and therefore weaker in their aloof eyes. He took a shine to the seas and steep lands around them, learning all that he could of Alderhelm. Their world seemed so great and so small all at once, and he wanted to document what he could. In doing so, he learned the unpleasant truth of their legacy, and of the town’s strange occurrences. As a young man he fell in love, as one is bound to do, and had a daughter. Emanuel was left to raise her on his own, much to the shame of his parents but even more so to his own delight. 

FC: Mads Mikkelsen

—- Wolff  early 30s ᐧ Open

Her dad kept her safely out of the corrupting influences of their family tree, keeping their gnarled branches from coming too close. It never did leave her fearful, only aware. The town was built on blood-soaked sand and she was determined to see it get its comeuppance. On most days, she can be found organizing protesters and leading pickets outside of town hall. It is vital to her to use her own privilege, and so what if it gets a little out of hand sometimes? A night or two in lock-up is a small price to pay.

Suggested FCs: Rebecca Ferguson, Keira Knightley, Haley Bennett

—- Wolff  50s ᐧ Open

It’s true what they say about apples and not falling very far from the rotten tree. It would seem he has some of the fallen patriarch of the family under his skin. He’s not as cruel or brutal as his predecessor but just as callous and greedy. He can never have enough, always wanting his reach to be wider and deeper. He runs the OLDE ALDER HOTEL with a strong grip and steers the family to even greater riches. Sometimes his hand slips, taking money where it shouldn’t (read: embezzlement). It’s alright, though, he stands sure as the husband of the Mayor and when the dusk settles he dons the cloak of a Son of the Sea alum.

Suggested FCs: Oliver Masucci, Rufus Sewell

—- Wolff  Early 50s ᐧ Open

The Mayor of Alderhelm, at least for the past two years. She is a local; born and bred in the salty air of The Dregs. Came from a heap of penniless nothing and clawed her way to the top where she now stands as a Wolff, scoping out a view she is unlikely to let slip from her grasp. For someone who has only left the town limits a handful of times, she carries herself as a well-travelled, learned woman. Some claim it’s all surface-level, but her cunning mind and articulate tongue say different. 

An key facet of the Mayor is that she has a vision for the town, though the nature of this vision is open and flexible. Perhaps she very opposed to THE KING FAMILY’s new reign, feeling they’re threatening all she’s worked for to get where she is or maybe she admires them. Perhaps she decides to work with them and, if she does, perhaps she’s secretive about it with her husband/his family. Or maybe she’s playing both sides, waiting to see who comes out on top. Whether she upholds and attempts to maintain/strengthen the Wolff name or is secretively plotting against it is up to the player of her and her husband. She also has ties to THE PENEWAIT FAMILY given that she grew up in the Dregs.

Suggested FCs: Rachel Weisz, Christy Turlington, Uma Thurman

—- Wolff  Late 20s ᐧ Open

What are they if not the dried up husk of their father’s daydreams? Unlike the rest of their family, they were born into a feeling of uncertainty. Father taught them the importance of maintaining a unified front and not letting the public see you slip. They took that, bottled it up, and drank it until they couldn’t see where they began and their father’s idealized first born ended. They followed him closely, learning about the secrets of the business and the funds father pocketed for himself. Eventually, they were asked to leave town to get more investors for Father’s embezzlement scheme only to fail miserably. Now they have returned home, cloaked in their father’s disappointment and attempting to carve out a new identity for themselves.

Suggested FCs: Bill Skarsgård, Imogen Poots, Andreea Diaconu

Cordelia Wolff  23 ᐧ Reserved for Darc

CORDELIA WOLFF is every bit a wolf in sheep’s clothing. As the youngest, she grew up like a cankerous lullaby with all of Alderhelm as her playground. For most of her life, she has been dangerously underestimated. Though the girl looks like a daydream, she’s more nightmarish, sinister, and ruthless than she seems. Cordelia is presently attending Alderhelm College and majoring in finance. She is also a legacy member of the shadowy secret student society THE SONS OF THE SEA and may or may not have a thing for drowning.

FC: Andrea Madlova

*

THE PENEWAIT FAMILY

—- Penewait 40s ᐧ Open

Often regarded as more brawn than brains, he is his brother’s right hand man and can almost always be relied upon to get his hands dirty. Once he had been widely admired for his adventurous and at times reckless sailing abilities, his boat among the first to be seen in the morning and the last to dock at night. 

However, sometime in the last 10 years, he was involved in a shipping accident that not only marred his relationship with the sea, but left him a little unstable: prone to violence and quick to anger. If money is owed, he’s the wolf sent to retrieve it; him and/or any of his droogs at the docks.

Suggested FCs: Zahn McClarnon, Alex Meraz

—- Penewait 35-40 ᐧ Open 

Unlike his siblings, he is a very calm and observant man, showcasing his wit and ruthlessness to anyone who threatens him or his family. He has been instrumental in the success of the family business. He is widely respected among the community and seen as a dangerous foe by his enemies. Dissatisfied with the size of the Penewait empire and concerned about the legacy they will leave behind, he has begun playing his hand at relatively small, organised crime. In particular, he has drawn the family into pushing drugs, particularly weed, cocaine, pills, and meth. He has been known to use or leverage those closest to him in order to achieve his goals, believing that the ends justify the means. 

Suggested FCs: Gerald Tokala Clifford, Martin Sensmeier

—- Penewait Mid-late 30s ᐧ Reserved for Therese 

She idolizes the Family moniker and their image and reputation amongst town. Not only is she a formidable business woman, having worked for several years covering the family’s finances, but she has also been widely noted in the local community for her beauty and charm. It has been said that she could ensnare a person with just one glance. And while she is more good humored than her brothers, she maintains the infamous family temper. She handles the books and balances the family ledger to ensure their criminal dealings are untraceable.

Suggested FCs: Julia Jones, Q'orianka Kilcher

—- Penewait Early 20s ᐧ Reserved for Cyl 

As the youngest of the Penewait siblings, it seems he has spent his life looking up at closed doors or catching the tail ends of hushed conversations. His family has always made it a priority to shield him from the worst of their actions. And as a result, he’s developed a bit of a ‘devil may care’ attitude toward the business, enjoying the limited Alderhelm “luxuries” it affords him. 

Suggested FCs: Haatepah Clearbear, Forrest Goodluck, Boo Boo Stewart

—- Penewait  Early 30s ᐧ Reserved for Asteria

The love child of Eleonora Wolff and a Penewait man. She spent her formative years raised by her eccentric mother after her mother was disowned by The Wolffs. However, as her mother’s fixation with The Abyss grew, so did the Penewaits concern for her, and she eventually moved in with the rest of the family and raised alongside her cousins. She has a complex relationship with her mother and, until recently, maintained a cynical attitude toward The Abyss. 

Following her mother’s death and the disbanding of her cult, she has begun looking into ways to reassemble them, as a means to finally understand her mother and honor her memory.

—- Penewait Early 20s ᐧ Reserved for Shayne 

Somewhat estranged cousin, they grew up away from the family and the spoils of the Penewait “empire”. They are an excellent mathematician, even earning themselves a place at Alderhelm College.

And though they are relatively new to the town, their ambition is clear. They have already begun working their way up the ranks of the family business, and can often be found shadowing their cousins and trying to prove their worth.

Suggested FCs: Amber Midthunder, Audreyana Michelle

*

THE KING FAMILY

—- King 50s-60s ᐧ Open

As head of the family, he is determined to do right by the people around him. After losing his wife and teenaged son to a car accident shortly after arriving in Alderhelm, he has since thrown himself into his work as a distraction. Family is important to him, and he holds some varied feelings for some of his siblings, as they are not as serious about the family endeavor as he is. 

Very much becoming overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the revitalization project, the weird occurrences in town have only helped to exacerbate his frustrations. His guilt around surviving the accident has especially begun to turn into blame against the town that he’s committed himself to saving.

Suggested FCs: Mahershala Ali, Orlando Jones, Laurence Fishburne

—- King 50s to 60s ᐧ Open

She has long since committed to the success of her family, especially when it comes to her best friend and older brother. Two halves of the same whole, she is very outspoken where her brother is deliberate, more confrontational where her brother exercises patience. But a sour life of being overshadowed by her brother in her early years and her sister later in life has hardened her heart. As an adult, she manages to maintain her temper and composure but can often come off as cold and unyielding, especially when her vast intelligence is challenged. 

With the reappearance of her younger sister, she is once again being overshadowed and has taken to working at the local hospital to keep the distance between her and her sister and, as a result, keep the peace.

Suggested FCs: Gina Torres, Naomi Campbell

Theodora King Early-mid 30s ᐧ Reserved for Grim

Determined to take the reins, she was deemed a queen from birth. She was a headstrong child with little interest in her much older siblings and has a dwindling patience for those who have come after her. A Harvard graduate, she worked for years in politics as a campaign manager in Washington DC, but after a bad affair with alcohol and bribery, lost her credibility, job, Congressman fiance, and was pushed out of the circles she’d strived so hard to form. 

She has since returned to her family in an effort to find a place for herself again. Presently, she combats the eldest sibling in regards to control and tends to bait her older sister into confrontations by playing off her jealousies and insecurities. But despite all of her flaws, she is an effective political ally. Overseeing her family’s image and relationship with the mayor and the town, she has decided to be her brother’s lackey just long enough to force him out of his position and take over the family business, even if that means dabbling in illegal and illicit businesses to make it happen.

FC: Laura Harrier

—- King Late 20s ᐧ Reserved for Tea

The rebel without a cause, he fights his family at every turn and is the most outspoken against the revitalization project. While there is good in the cause, most of what he sees is the negative effects that could befall the community. Prone to brooding and bouts of sadness, he will come out of his shell for causes that he deems truly good for all involved. But his rejection of his family’s ideals are a hindrance to the cause, as he thinks of himself as a hero with an unwavering moral compass, saving the people from yet another powerful family that will do them wrong. 

Suggested FCs: Lakeith Stanfield, Trevante Rhodes, Nathan Stewart-Jarrett, The Weeknd

—- King 20s ᐧ Reserved for Olivia

The youngest sibling, but hardly ever forgotten about. Their older siblings coddle them at every turn, forcing them away from their lavish life in the big city in exchange for the middle of nowhere. A bit of a tech sleuth, they have worked hard toward the interests of his family by digging up dirt on the Wolff and Penewait families that can be used as leverage to push out their older, more conservative regimes. 

But at the heart of it, they are bored and missing their lavish life in the city. So they’ve taken to organizing a start-up on the side with a few friends to break away from the family name and to create a legacy of their own, far away from Alderhelm.

Suggested FCs: Sharon Alexie, Rachide Embalo, Amandine Guihard, Ashton Sanders, Duckie Thot

[fordbayhq]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Jeremy Lincoln

DATE OF BIRTH: April 25, 1987

AGE: 33

BIRTHPLACE: Fordbay, British Columbia

GENDER: Cis male

PRONOUNS: He/him

OCCUPATION: Owner of Fish’N’Chadwick

PLACE OF RESIDENCE: Old Port

FACE CLAIM: Casey Deidrick

BIOGRAPHY

TRIGGER WARNINGS: death, heart disease

For Jeremy Lincoln he’d found that life was equally simple as it was complicated. He grew up the oldest of four children in a blue collar household. Something that he’s very proud of to this day, something that comes from beyond honoring his father and the legacy he left behind. It may have been the only way of life he really knew but in his heart and soul Jeremy also knew that he needed nothing more. His father, Harrison, or Harry for short, was a second generation fisherman and had both used that to support and supply a business that was a seed his wife, and Jeremy’s mother, had planted in his ear. To take over Harrison’s restaurant, Fish’N’Chadwick. The goal had been more so for the purpose of longevity, to keep her husband safe and their family in tact and whole. Fishing the seas was dangerous with unpredictable weather and fierce competition. She had also wanted to keep Harry home more as the often long excursions out for a haul were brutal to a family, mostly to a woman taking care of four children close in age.

As soon as he could walk Jeremy was practically climbing on his father’s boat, clearly the spitting image of his old man and destined to be following in his footsteps one day. Jeremy was the oldest, then there were two sisters in the middle, and a baby brother rounded out the family in full. It was just that none of them were quite built like he was. Jeremy was always a bit taller and stronger, rangy and sinewy; resilient. He learned to fish and assist his father on the boat before he’d move on from elementary school, only slowing down when he started playing school and community sports like baseball. By this time he hadn’t been missing too much, Harry was hardly out fishing the seas anymore. His dad’s longtime family friend, Chadwick, had been supplying Jeremy’s grandfather’s restaurant for some time and it was an arrangement that continued when it was time for Harry to take over Fish’N’Chadwick. He couldn’t help himself and still went out to fish when he could get away with it but ownership changed hands and the family transitioned into the bustle of running an establishment that had become a staple in Old Town.

What Jeremy had understood from life was that it was hard work. He grew up helping his mother with his younger siblings, fishing with his dad, juggling school and sports, and then helping out at the grill most evenings. Somehow, none of that stopped Jeremy from being a teenager ripping around town with experimental alcohol in his veins with his friends and teammates. In fact, as mannered as he could be he also had a reputation for being a rowdy teenager. Some part of him was rebelling from the structure and boundaries, from the non-stop working schedule, and an intense need for freedom and independence. That was obtained upon graduation from high school and entry into college. It put a little distance between himself and his family and the discipline that entailed and his first couple of years at university were wild. Too many nights out partying and getting into trouble, worrying his parents with coming up with bail money, and inking tattoos on his body. He had a baseball scholarship, couldn’t care less about academics, and began thinking if he could be good enough to go pro then his family would never have to worry about money ever again.

Sometimes dreams and hopes go up in smoke and that’s exactly what happened to Jeremy when his father met an untimely death. Harrison had had an accident when out fishing, getting caught up in a bad storm that destroyed his boat and left him out to sea. Coast guard search and rescue performed search after search but Jeremy’s father’s body was never found. It devastated the family, perhaps even the close-knit Old Town community. Jeremy never noticed that, too focused on his and his family’s grief and worrying about staying afloat. On the verge of graduating and MLB knocking on his door, he dropped out of university and went home to take over the grill. The family pulled together to run Fish’N’Chadwick, ownership was transferred to Jeremy per his father’s will request and he’s been working the establishment since.

It could be said that a couple of years following his father’s death that his mother died of a broken heart, but the clinical and official ruling for cause of death was heart disease. Feeling more alone than ever, doing his best to keep the ledger of the grill in green and footing the bill of his siblings everything became distant. Eventually it was too late, he’d been gone from the sport too long and his fate was sealed to follow almost exactly in his old man’s footsteps. So, he raised his younger siblings, helped them get into university, and somewhere found a few extra bits of cash to buy a fishing boat. Whatever free time he finds himself with he tinkers away on it, fixing it up and taking it out on short trips. At 33 he finds himself feeling old and weathered but content in that this was the way life was supposed to be.

WRITTEN BY: Christie, 23, She/Her, PST

[bluestm]

                *     𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘   .    y’all  ever  wondered  what  an  actual  angel  looks  like ?  lemme  point  y’all  in  the  direction  of  oNE  zendaya  coleman ,  blessing  to  humans  everywhere . i’m  taking  the  torch  from  ares  n  her  beautiful  rendition  to  try  and  keep  this  lil  goddess  on  the  dash  in  the  form  of  my  darling  soft  sarcastic  fool , 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒔𝒕 . 𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 !  

  ⋆  ╰  another   year  at  hollingsworth  ,  another  year  of  the  big  six rivalry  .  i  hear  that  BLUE  ST.  JAMES is  ensuring  CHI MU OMEGA  gets  a  solid  pledge  class  and  stays  at  the  top  of  the  ranks  .  oh  ,  you’re  not  familiar  with  HER  ?  BLUE  is  the  ZENDAYA  look  alike  from  SEATTLE , WASHINGTON  .  a part  of  PC  ‘16  ,  she  is  majoring  in  HISTORY  and  has  plans  to  AUDITION  FOR  THE  AMERICAN  BALLET  THEATER  AND  REBUILD  HER  CRUMBLING  DANCE  CAREER after  undergrad  .  it  makes  sense  they  pledged  their  house  ,  their  SHARP-WITTED  &  ASSIDUOUS   attributes  make  them  perfect  matches  .  however  ,  their  ACQUIESCENT  &  OBSESSIVE  attributes  keep  their  name  alive  on  greek  rank  .  if  you  don’t  catch  them  dancing  to  SUPERMODEL  -  SZA  at  a  fraternity  band  party  this  year  ,  you’ll  be  sure  to  catch  them  nursing  their  morning  hangover  at  THE  CHI O  HOUSE  .  cheers  to  another  wild  semester !

⋆  ╰    𝑺  𝑻  𝑨  𝑻  𝑰  𝑺  𝑻  𝑰  𝑪  𝑺   .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍        𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 :         blue    ocean    st . james   𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬         :        i  applaud  u  if  u  can  make  a  nickname  out  of  “ blue “ 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆        /        𝒂𝒈𝒆 :        september    3rd  ,    twenty  -  one  𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄         :        virgo 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓        𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚        /        𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔         :         cisfemale    identifying        with        she   /  her   /   hers    pronouns           𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏         :         openly    pansexual    ,  panromantic 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏        :           student   at   hworth   majoring    in    history     (   with   a   focus   in   the  history   of   art    and    literature    )  and    minoring   in    african  -  american  studies   ,    aspiring    pro   ballerina   𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔        𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆        :        hufflepuff 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏        𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅        𝒃𝒚         :       amy   from  booksmart   (  !!!!  ) ,  rory   gilmore    from  gilmore   girls   ,    stiles   stilinski   from  teen  wolf    (  !!!!!!!!! )   ,  grace  cardinal  &   cam  saunders  from  degrassi .       𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔      :        -        melancholic  ,    overly-critical   ,    obsessive   , neurotic ,  teeteringly  non-confrontational   ,    astray   , acquiescent  ,  craven

         +                benevolent    , magnanimous    ,  tactful ,  inventive   ,   perfectionist ,   steadfast ,  sharp-witted   ,   rigorous  ,  assiduous  , sympathetic  

⋆  ╰      𝑨  𝑵  𝑻  𝑬  𝑪  𝑬  𝑫  𝑬  𝑵  𝑻 .

my  concept  was  that  her  mom  ,  sonya  ackerman  ,  was  a  world-renowned  ballerina  ,  like  one  of  the  first  on  the  east  coast  and  had  a  massive  studio  that  took  off  in  seattle  as  one  of  the  premier  ballet  academies  for  dancers  of  color !her  dad  ,  theodore  st.  james  ,  was  a  criminal  prosecutor  training  to  become  an  assistant  district  attorney  in  georgia  ,   but  would  commute  out  to  washington  bc  obv  blue’s  mom  isn’t  gonna  just  abandon  what  she  worked  so  hard  to  build  .  her  parents  were  a  rather  stable  couple  ,  but  blue  can  easily  admit  what  a  piece  of  work  her  mom  was  and  the  fucking  number  she  did  on  those  around  her

part  of  pushing  so  hard  for  success  meant  having  a  lot  to  lose  ,  and  sonya  made  that  the  driving  point  of  not  just  her  life  ,  but  her  only  child’s  ,  a  bright-eyed  baby  girl  with  a  gaze  as  pensive  and  thought-provoking  as  the  color  she  was  named  after  .  blue  ocean  was  a  miracle  ,  a  gentle (  but  rather  prone  to fixating  )  soul  from  the  moment  her  curls  came  into  the  light  of  this  world  ,  and  was  her  father’s  pride  since  the  moment  he  held  her  .  suddenly  commutes  were  that  much  harder  ,  the  tension  of  having  a  marriage  and  a  daughter  only  on  the  weekends  and  being  left  a  stranger  to  your  own  child  all  because  of  your  wife’s  unyielding  stubbornness  really  did  a  number  on  theodore  which  led  to  the  eventual  demise  of  their  marriage  :/

blue  doesn’t  remember  much  leading  up  to  the  divorce  ,  but  she’s  smart  enough  to  recognize  her  dad  didn’t  just  up  and  leave  out  of  nowhere  .  he  later  tells  her  he  was  sure  he’d  get  at  least  shared  custody  ,  but  the  courts  surprisingly  ruled  in  sonya’s  favor  with  no  rational  logic  behind  it  other  than  her  claim  of  motherhood  .  being  raised  with  the  world’s  weight  on  her  shoulders  hugely  influenced  blue’s  personality  ,  ballet  being  the  only  thing  she  remembers  as  a  constant  in  her  life  .  never  one  to  lash  out  ,  blue  took  the  oppressive  upbringing  as  an  opportunity  to  prove  herself  —  maybe  this  wasn’t  her  dream  ,  but  she  was  a  perfectionist  obsessed  with  control  ,  and  she’d  take  whatever  path  her  mother  put  her  on  and  do  a  damn  good  job  at  it .

highschool  was  highschool  and  she  was  gone  almost  as  soon  as  she  had  arrived  ,  graduating  with  only  enough  friends  that  she  could  count  on  her  hand  ,  and  whisked  off  to  the  city  in  which  she  had  heard  in  countless  of  her  mother’s  nostalgic  throw-back  stories  growing  up  ,  attending  julliard’s  prestigious  ballet  program  as  if  to  honor  her  late  mother’s  legacy  at  her  alma  mater .  

excelling  through  classes  ,  nailing  audition  after  audition  for  a  coups  de  ballet  role  but  never  a  principal  ,  blue  builds  her  reputation  among  the  new  york  dance  scene  with  grace  and  humility  ,  inching  her  way  towards  her  ultimate  goal  of  the  american  ballet  theater  as  paved  by  misty  copeland  ,  the  only  hero  who  even  compares  to  her  mother  in  blue’s  eyes  .  she’s  just  a  few  more  well-timed  performances  away  from  the  life  she’s  always  envisioned  ,  until  a  sudden  phone  call  flips  her  life  on  it’s  head  .  she  hasn’t  addressed  her  mother’s  passing  ,  nor  its  details  ,  and  it’s  unlikely  a  person  with  such  an  emotionally  reserved  disposition  such  as  herself  will  ever  really  come  around  to  processing  it  out  loud  .  the  news  hits  halfway  through  sophomore  year  and  she  makes  it  until  finals  week  before  she  spends  a  week  in  the  hospital  ,  unravelled  and  unhinged  ,  dehydrated  from  her  sobs  and  weak  from  her  inability  to  keep  food  down  due  to  an  unrelenting  anxiety  she’s  never  known  quite  like  this  .  this  subtle  childhood  nature  of  fixation  and  perfection  manifests  as  a  full  blown  obsessive  compulsive  disorder  diagnosed  during  her  psych  eval  ,  releasing  her  with  a  script  and  a  recommendation  to  go  somewhere  where  she’s  got  a  support  system  .

hu  ,  only  a  half  hour  drive  from  her  father’s  firm  and  the  current  school  of  her  childhood  best  friend  ,  receives  an  application  days  later  ,  declaring  an  interest  in “ a  change  of  pace  from  the  world  of  ballet  and  an  interest  in  their  world-renowned  history  program .  ” she  gets  sucked  into  the  greek  world  without  truly  meaning  to  ,  wandering  aimlessly  through  her  new  life  as  she  auditions  for  different  ballet  troupes  and  bombs  each  attempt  .  feeling  empty  ,  distant  ,  and  the  impending  sense  of  personal  failure  ,  her  new  sisters  in  chi  mu  omega  give  her  a  constant  push  of  go-go-go  to  fill  her  days  with  a  distraction  from  her  thoughts  .  senior  year  rounds  its  head  ,  and  blue  wants  to  spend  it  pushing  herself  to  return  to  her  former  glory  ,  eyeing  the  next  year’s  productions  at  the  american  ballet  theater  and  her  dream  to  once  again  reach  the  point  she  receives  an  invitation  to  audition  .  she’s  not  quite  sure  if  this  will  fill  the  void  in  her  heart  ,  a  void  she’s  sure  she’s  known  nearly  her  whole  life  ,  but  she’s  got  nothing  prepared  in  her  back  pocket  ,  so  it’s  really  ,  at  this  point  ,  all  she  has  left  .

⋆  ╰      𝑨  𝑵  𝑨  𝑳  𝒀  𝑺  𝑰  𝑺  .

for  a  lil  personality  blurb  ,  my  renditions  of  blue  have  always  been  really  soft  and  nuturing  and  i  want  to  keep  an  element  of  that  ? she’s  a  gentle  soul  and  part  of  that  absolutely  stems  from  her  upbringing  bc  her  mom  was  ..  .  .  .  not  a  nice  lady  lmao  .  but  somehow  ,  between  her  mom  at  home  and  then  her  mom  in  the  ballet  studio  ,  it  just  made  blue  more  compassionate  ?  she’s  admittedly  a  little  intimidating  ,  and  her  defense  mechanism  has  become  a quick  wit  that  manifests  most  amusingly  in  her  sarcasm  .  the  world  can’t  hurt  u  if  u  make  fun  of  it  first  ,  right ! i  also  wanted  to  sprinkle  in  a  little  bit  of  doe-eyed  buffoon  which  i  think  fits  in  well  with  her  whole  quiet  type  persona  ,  so  her  humor  deviates  into  goofiness  that  also  occasionally  manifests  as  an  awkward  as  shit  interaction  if  she’s  feeling  a  little  off ( as  in  :  the  bitch  has  a 50/50  shot  of  delivering  a  SEARING  burn  or  stammering  so  hard  she  ends  up  rlly  just  roasting  herself  :/  it’s  a  mystery  to  see  what  u’ll  end  up  w  when  it  comes  to  blue  ,  sigh )

delving  in  a  little  deeper  ,  even  if  she  seems  like  this  sarcastic  scattered lowkey  dork ,  who  gives  the  illusion  she’s  mellow  and  unbothered  ,  she’s  a  severe  overthinker  and  any  convo  longer  than  about  10  minutes  will  yield  to  the  fact  that  blue  is  constantly  stressed  the  FUCK  out about  the  smallest  things  .  she’s  really  observant  and  has  an  uncanny  ability  to  clock  ppl  ,  which  would  make  her  QUITE  the  devilish  fiend  to  exploit  ppl’s  weaknesses  but  alas  ,  for  a.  she  does  not  give  a  shit  abt  anything  enough  to  treat  people  cruelly  and b.  does  not  have  enough  braincells  to  spare  from  her  stress  and  misery  to  be  fiendish  and  manipulative  KSDJFKJSDHF  this  makes  her  a  really  great  person  to  tell  secrets  to  bc  literally  who  the  FUCK  is  she  gonna  tell ?  is  her  argument  n  lowkey !  she  right ! SDFHSKDHF  

contrary  to  what  her  performance  background  may  lead  many  to  believe  ,  she  really  is  not  fond  of  being  at  the  forefront  of  attention  and  feels  more  comfortable  lingering  in  the  background  ,  minding  her  own  business ,  and  staying  in  her  lane  so  catch  her  being  all  but  INVISIBLE  to  the  greek  rank  blog  !  her  critical  struggle  in  life  is  her  obsessive  personality  ,  deeply  rooted  in  the  trauma  of  being  riased  with  the  unyielding  expectation  for  absolute  perfection  .  she  has  a  hard  time  letting  go  and  comes  close  to  having  a  meltdown  if  things  in  her  world  arent  completely  under  her  control  (  as  exemplified  by  the  mental  breakdown  faced  during  the  most  stressful  time  in  her  life  .  )  she’s  incredibly  hard  on  herself  and  really  ,  truly  is  lost  as  to  who  she  is  without  the  fixation  of  perfection  in  her  life  .  this  is  incredibly  curious  due  to  her  selective  nature  —  in  terms  of  grades  ,  she’s  only  slightly  above  average  ,  and  is  rarely  interested  in  being  competitive  with  other  people  .  it’s  almost  exclusively  a  competition  with  herself  regarding  the  most  interesting  and  unassuming  things  : especially  considering  that  ballet  ,  her  whole  life’s  work  and  effort  ,  isn’t  even  her  PASSION  .  on  the  low  ,  she  kinda  hates  dance  culture  ,  especially  the  ridigity  of  ballet  !  like  bitch  wha t  the  FU C K  are  u  working  so  hard  on  it  for  ?  n  that’s  one  of  her  major  fears  ,  deviating  from  what  she  knows  and  pursing  her  true  passions  ,  because  at  least  with  ballet  ,  she  knows  it  and  she  knows  she’s  naturally  exceptional  — something  she  can’t  guarantee  with  her  true  passions  ( yet  tbd  but  have  something  to  do  with  art  history    !  ) and  would  rather  not  pursue  if  the  option  of  failure  ,  aka non-perfection ,  is  something  she’d  have  to  face  .

hcs  : she  doesn’t  drive  bc  she  doesn’t  have  her  license  as  she  has  rlly  bad  test  anxiety  and  ate  shit  all  4  times  she  tried  to  take  it  (  suffice  the  implication  of  her  failure  rests  in  the  sulking  pout  she  wore  for  about  2  weeks  straight  as  she  refused  to  try  again  a  5th  time )  ,  is  an  on  and  off  vegetarian  and  HATES  herself  for  it  ,  usually  that  friend  who’s  goin  “  i’m  not  sure  about  this  guys  ..  .  ..  ”    while  still  allowing  herself  to  get  dragged  into  shenanigans  ,  hates  her  own  drama  n  avoids  it  but  wants  to  BATHE  in  the  tea  of  those  goin  on  around  her  sdfsdfs  ,  goes  to  bed  at  9:30  on  the  dot  so  parties  are  oft  a  STRUGGLE  ,  has  strong  mom  friend  energy  despite  barely  being  able  to  manage  herself  ,  is  a  nerd  n  knows  it  yet  uses  nerd  as  an  insult  ,  cannot  cook  for  her  LIFE  ,  and  a  lil  pinterest  board  is     here   ! oh  !  and  she  does  NOT   fuck  w   being  touched  unless  u  get  her  express  approval !!!

plots  :  i  didnt  think  i  would  get  this  far  in  one  go  so  hit  me  up  on  dis/cord  for  my  list  of  plots  that  im  abt  to  pull  out  of  my  ass  ;))))

[mimisxkai]

“SHE WAS LIKE THE MOON: BEAUTIFUL TO LOOK AT ─ BUT, IMPOSSIBLE TO TOUCH,

                                ALWAYS HALF HIDDEN BY WHIPS OF SHADOWS

                                                            AND COMPLETELY & UTTERLY A L O N E.”                                              

⌠ 𝑲𝑨𝒀𝑳𝑬𝑬 𝑩𝑹𝒀𝑨𝑵𝑻, 𝟐𝟎, 𝑪𝑰𝑺𝑭𝑬𝑴𝑨𝑳𝑬, 𝑺𝑯𝑬/𝑯𝑬𝑹 ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, 𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑰𝑨 𝑺𝑨𝑲𝑨𝑰! according to their records, they’re a 𝑺𝑬𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑫 year, specializing in 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑻𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮, 𝑩𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑳, 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑩𝑨𝑻 + “𝑴𝑪𝑮𝑼𝒀𝑽𝑬𝑹” 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑽𝑰𝑽𝑨𝑳 𝑺𝑲𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑺 & 𝑵𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑮𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵; and they 𝑫𝑰𝑫 go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( 𝑨 𝑪𝑹𝒀𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑲𝑬𝑹, 𝑯𝑨𝑳𝑭-𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑵 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑹𝒀 𝑺𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑬𝑹, and 𝑩𝑶𝑾 𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 ). when it’s the 𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬𝑹’s birthday on 𝟕/𝟏𝟑/𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟗, they always request their 𝑩𝑬𝑹𝑹𝒀 𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻 from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

* / CHARACTER INFLUENCES: SANSA STARK ( Game of Thrones ) + CASSIE HOWARD ( Euphoria ) + EMILY FIELDS ( Pretty Little Liars ) + FIONA COYNE ( Degrassi ) + ALLISON ARGENT ( Teen Wolf ) + TANDY BOWEN ( Cloak & Dagger ) + PEETA MELLARK ( The Hunger Games )

* / VINE REFERENCES: x x x *** honorable mention***

* / PERSONAL ANTHEM: PROM QUEEN - Molly Kate Kestner

Hi it’s Bri with another smol child of mines ARTEMISIA. Feel free to like this post or hmu on discord if you want to plot :)

TW: Alcohol, sex. Read with caution.

* / GENERAL INFORMATION

FUL: NAME: Artemisia “Mimi” Monroe Sakai.

KNOWN AS: Mimi, Art, Artie.

AGE: Twenty.

DATE OF BIRTH: July 13, 1999.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Milford, Connecticut.

GENDER: Cisgender female.

PRONOUNS: She/her.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual ( a growing female preference ).

RELIGION: Christian.

* / PHYSICAL & MENTAL CHARACTERISTICS

HEIGHT: 5′8.

WEIGHT: 130 lbs.

HAIR COLOUR: Brown.

EYE COLOUR: Brown.

TATTOOS: None.

PIERCINGS: Standard lobes & double helix.

BODY TYPE: Petite.

PHYSICAL HEALTH: Peak.

NOTABLE PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS: Long legs, slight front gap between front teeth.

FACE CLAIM: Kaylee Bryant.

VOICE CLAIM: Kaylee Bryant’s speaking voice.

CLOSET / STYLE: Cher Horowitz ( Clueless ) & Fran Fine ( The Nanny ).

ILLNESSES / CONDITIONS: Asthma & anxiety disorder.

ADDICTIONS: None.

VICES: Envy.

* / BACKGROUND, OCCUPATION & EDUCATION

BIRTHPLACE: Milford, Connecticut.

RAISED: Milford, Connecticut.

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Gallagher Academy.

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English and Japanese.

EDUCATION LEVEL: HS diploma.

FINANCIAL STATUS: Wealthy.

* / FAMILIAL BACKGROUND

FATHER: Kane Sakai.

MOTHER: Reina Sakai [ née Sutton ].

SIBLINGS: None.

BIRTH ORDER: n/a.

RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY: Close.

PATERNAL GRANDPARENTS: n/a.

MATERNAL GRANDPARENTS: n/a.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: none.

* / PERSONALITY

POSITIVE: Joyful, caring, selfless, protective.

NEGATIVE: Hot-headed, codependent, self-destructive, naive.

ZODIAC: Cancer.

MBTI TYPE: ENFJ.

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good.

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Hufflepuff.

AESTHETIC: Plaid skirts, tight curls, blushing cheeks, open heart & broken spirit, echoing laughter, pointe shoes, distant gazing, soft melodies, pained smiles, tears on pillows.

* / BIO: Her parents named her after the moon, but even the mood has a dark side. Artemisia, better known as Mimi, was the perfect daughter. Sweet, sophisticated, poised ─ everything two high ranking faculty members of the elite private spy university Gallagher could want in a daughter. Since birth, Mimi was groomed knowing she’d follow in the Sutton ( her mother’s maiden name ) legacy and attend the institute, same as her cousins would. As a child, the reality of it didn’t bother her. Along with the private self-defense and boxing classes with her father and weapons training with her mother, there were other more exciting extracurriculars she had to distract her.

Violin and horseback riding were just two phases that quickly came and went, but her love for dance always stayed. What was meant to be an after school activity soon spiraled into tumbling classes, weekend competitions, and many 1st place trophies. It was like an unspoken issue in her household. Though her love for dance ─ ballet specifically ─ eclipsed her love for anything else, so much so that she hoped to make a career out of it, her parents remained steadfast on her attending Gallagher. Upon entering high school, suddenly Mimi’s lack of time and the reality that her dreams would be crushed began to cave in on her. A usually happy and upbeat girl now only had four years left of freedom. And she held onto those four years the best way she knew how ─ by making memories.

Being sent to a spy prep boarding school 30 minutes from home was the best, and worst, thing her parents could’ve done. Separated from her dance team all week only elevated her anxiety levels, leading her to have full-blown panic attacks when things became too much. Desperate to find some means of control in her life, Mimi turned to what all the rich, spoiled, and rotten kids at her school were doing. Sex. Partying. A bit of crime. Shoplifting here, a quickie there. Mimi longed for some sort of...connection. Some control. Something to make her feel whole now that she was losing her grasp on the life she truly wanted. The weekends were her escape, where she could return home, or better yet to the dance studio, and just let out all of pent up energy weekly stressors had built up inside of her. And that’s how her life was for four years. Trying to survive the week, and let loose on the weekends. She didn’t care how her reputation preceded her. She didn’t care that past boyfriends had convinced her to do things ─ on camera ─ then leaked those things when broken up. It’s not like her reputation mattered anymore. It’s not like the nudes would stop her from going to Gallagher of all places. Not when she had the connections she had. So, she moved onto the next. And the next. Falling in love, falling in sin, and trying to keep her head above water.

When graduation day had come, something changed. Mimi had spent 4 years essentially learning strength and self-assurance in her day to day classes ( after all what was a spy who lacked confidence? a dead spy, that’s what ), so she proposed a deal with her parents. A year. Give her a year to follow her passion. If she failed, she’d go to Gallagher willingly. If not, she’d get to live her life the way she wanted. It took some begging, some pleading, a few fat tears, but eventually, they conceded. Mimi’s first destination was New York. Finding work was hard though, as was school. Places like Julliard and Joffrey already filled their quota for the year and productions had already been cast for the fall. She found luck, though, as a background dancer in a small production Off-Broadway. Better than nothing, and it was a great starter position as she was slightly rusty from not dancing as regularly as she did as a child. What she thought was a shot, only turned into tragedy. A few months in, she did one of the worst things that could happen to a dancer: she tore her ACL. Recovery was imminent but spanned nearly a year. And by that time, her time was up. No dream was fulfilled. No opportunity was given. Mimi packed her bags and began at Gallagher, just like she promised her parents.

Now a second year at the school, Mimi has grown accustomed to that drowning feeling that started during her high school years. If anything, she enjoys the numbness now. Anything is better than the pain. 

* / PERSONALITY: Mimi is so glad she doesn’t look like what she’s gone through. From afar she’s still the perfect daughter. Selfless, because helping others distracts herself from her own problems. Kind-hearted, always smiling, the sweetheart appearance. But what most people don’t know is that the smile is for a show, because pretending is a lot easier than wallowing or taking out her anger on someone else. When first attending Gallagher, the loss of something so crucial to her had her on edge. So when a boy from her former school decided to taunt her with some private photos, she snapped. It seemed all those years of her boxing lessons with her dad finally came in handy. She appears to be delicate and soft, breakable even, but how can you break something that’s already broken? By day, she’s the girl everyone wants to know. But by night, when everyone’s asleep, she goes to the gym where a punching bag becomes her best friend. It’s the only form of control she has left.

* / WANTED RELATIONS: People who know her from her past, maybe some girlssss to explore her sexuality with????, at least one confidante, sexual tension, and so on.

[sheweapon]

                                THE WHOLE FUCKING FIRE.

                                            bellatrix hecate lestrange.                                                          thirty four. head of the                                                         department of magical                                                    accidents and catastrophes.                                            + daring, passionate, ambitious, clever.                                             - sadistic, two faced, cruel, unstable.                                                                death eater.

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PLAYLISTS: (x) (x) (x)

QUICK STATS:

name: bellatrix hecate lestrange occupation: head of the department of magical accidents and catastrophes. former house: slytherin. date of birth: december 23. age: 34.

BIRTH AND EARLY YEARS:

So. It’s a cold December night, right before Christmas, and the Black mansion is shaken by blood curdling screams. It’s the kind that leaves you breathless, shivers running down your spine, leaving you with the sense that something is very, very wrong. Which, Druella Black fears that it very well might be —- because her (expected) son is four weeks early.

The birth is excruciatingly long and difficult for poor, poor Druella, but when the clock strikes eleven on the night before Christmas, a girl comes crashing into the world. She’s not what they expect, nor what they want, and she never cries — instead, she just watches them with those big black eyes that always seem to be appraising something.

-

Though Bellatrix’s birth was mostly an unwelcome surprise ( she came too early, and it was no secret that her parents had hoped for a boy ), she was also the first child to carry on the Black legacy, which was an honor. A necessity.

As a baby, she was small and meager. Nurses whispered about the Black baby that could barely muster a scream, that seemed so frail. Like she might break at any second. But that memory would soon fade and be replaced by a much more unpleasant one - because Bellatrix’s bones hardened, her skin thickened, her eyes grew meaner. Within a few years, any trace of that soft baby was gone, and instead, a cruel toddler took her place.

As a child, Bella was vicious. Biting, clawing, screaming and cursing were things she picked up fast, and she’d terrorize the other kids at the playground ( with an almost scary aim for her muggle born / half blood peers ).

Once she reached the age of seven, she calmed down a bit, and instead started following her father around ( and was lovingly referred to as his ‘little shadow’ ). Eager to prove herself, she learned everything that a son of Cygnus would have learnt. She was determined to show her father that being a girl would not stop her from becoming worthy of the Black throne, to carry his name with pride. Over the years of her childhood and adolescence, Bellatrix forged herself into the golden girl, a respectable heir in the making. Desperate to wear the crown.

Under her father’s influence, uncontrollable rage was switched in for an eerie quietness, anger instead boiling right below the surface, just waiting to be unleashed. She was so eager to please, to sculpt herself into whatever he wanted, so she suppressed her emotions the best she could, even though it never felt natural. And so, the nurses whispered again, but this time, it was about her sweet, sweet smile, matched with those mean, mean eyes. ‘Doesn’t it look distorted? Like that damn Cheshire cat. Something’s not right about that girl, I’m telling you. She came out wrong’.

Behind closed doors, Cygnus also encouraged Bella’s darker side. Introduced her to the dark arts and the chaos that she would later come to love so desperately.

Most of her childhood was characterized by harsh words, strict rules and high expectations. Her family’s reputation weighed heavy on her shoulders, constantly pressuring her to excel. Luckily, she shared her parents’ ambition and values, and had no problems conforming to their rule. Which also meant that she could get away with much else. As long as she remained the golden girl, Bellatrix could run wild and free.

HOGWARTS YEARS:

Bellatrix had been duly prepped before arriving at Hogwarts. She was the first of their children to walk the halls, so it was important to both Druella and Cygnus that Bellatrix knew how to behave. Who to fraternize with. Who to avoid. Who was worthy of her time. Her parents had also made sure that she already had the appropriate friends — and play dates with other pureblood kids were a common occurrence when Bellatrix was younger.

At school, Bellatrix was popular —- the resident cool girl. The type of girl that hardly ever objects to anything, because she is always down to have a good time. The type of girl that loves Quidditch, dirty jokes and cheap beer. The type of girl that hides her true colors, at least for a while. Until she explodes.

So Bella kept out of trouble, for the most part. There were a couple…. incidents, with muggleborns. One or two may have been turned into rats and toads ( under the guise of it being a joke — can’t you take a joke, come on now? ). More serious things have been strictly forgotten by everyone involved. Powerful parents will do the trick. Mostly though, Bellatrix kept to her fellow Slytherins… biding her time. Waiting to strike.

She played for the Slytherin Quidditch team, as a beater, and was eventually made captain ( nothing less for a child of Cygnus, she must excel ). During her time on the team, she was notorious for her cruel playing style, her foul tricks, the constant smirk on her lips as other players fell to the ground.

And during her sixth year, she was eventually recruited into the Death Eaters. And with them, she found a second home, quickly rising through the ranks.

AFTER HOGWARTS:

After graduating from Hogwarts, Bellatrix took a year off from her studies. The official reason was that she needed to “find herself”. Whatever the fuck that meant. Obviously, it was a lie to hide what she was really up to. In reality, Bellatrix was at Voldemort’s side, learning leglilimency and occlumency, all the while developing her dark magic and her shitty personality.

Quickly became Voldemort’s personal attack dog, always willing to do his bidding, no questions asked.

At the age of nineteen, Bellatrix found work as an obliviator. Though the choice had ultimately been hers to make, the dark lord was always whispering in her ear, encouraging her to infiltrate the ministry. The goal was to have sleeper agents of death eaters in every department once it was time to go to war. It also helped that becoming an oblivator just made sense — fucking with the minds of muggles could already be counted as a hobby (albeit a twisted one), and she had always been good at taking things that didn’t belong to her… Memories would be no different.

Became a senior obliviator at twenty five, which was early, but still not early enough for her, you feel.

And so, at the age of thirty two, Bellatrix came to find herself as the head of the department of magical accidents and catastrophes. There, she got another taste of the power that drives her, that maddens her.

She is genuinely good at her job - even though she’s totally corrupt and obviously does most things in the interest of the death eaters.

Will occasionally throw pureblood galas, but isn’t too invested in them. They’re just for show.

Among the Death Eaters, Bellatrix is in the inner circle. She considers herself the dark lord’s right hand, and prides herself on being his most loyal servant.

Bellatrix also has a pet snake, lovingly named Medusa. We love her.

PERSONALITY:

First of all - Bellatrix is a fucking shit show and we all know this.

She is like night and day —– and her temper switches incredibly quickly, which makes her unpredictable, a little scary. She can go from the girl her family forced her to be - the Socialite, the Sophisticated Woman, the Cool Girl, to something far more sinister in the matter of minutes. Sometimes less.

When she’s at her worst, Bellatrix is cruel, sadistic, self righteous, impulsive, angry as hell, deranged, unstable, manipulative, a little bit unhinged, ruthless, playful, childish and absolutely lethal. It’s always brewing right below, so close to the surface, just waiting to come out.

But she’s also calculating, clever, quick on her feet, intensely passionate, fiercely loyal (until she’s… not), adaptable, intuitive and assertive.

Bella often contradicts herself — she has grown up believing that it’s best to be cold and devoid of emotions (#thanks dad), but she’s a highly emotional person by nature. She tries to suppress that as best as she can, but she usually boils over pretty fast. Other emotions are usually translated into anger as well, so that’s fun. I think the best way to describe her is that she’s just fire, always burning hot or cold.

Voldemort’s influence on her is also really important!! His influence poisons her mind, her soul, her heart. The darkness that was already there is amplified, becomes a thousand times worse. Though already a skilled witch, he introduced her to magic she could only have dreamed of — and that power became corruptive, addictive. For power, Bella would gladly pay the steep price of sacrificing her soul, her humanity.

Bellatrix really does think that she is in the right.

Also probably thinks that she’s better than everyone else at all times. There’s definitively an air of arrogance surrounding her.

Mrs Lestrange thinks that she’s invincible, and likes walking a little too close to the cliff’s edge ( playing with fire ). Will occasionally drop hints that she COULD be a death eater, but never goes too far with it. And if someone suggests that she is one, she acts like that’s absolutely outrageous. How dare you imply that I am affiliated with anything… !

Okay so, I am convinced that Bellatrix doesn’t reach peak evil + instability until after Voldemort’s fall and Azkaban, so I’m really trying to tone her down a bit and give the influence of her upbringing ( + her nature ) a bigger role in the person that she becomes. Hence why she is a little better at hiding her true colors, a little more refined. : ~ ) Though, she’s still the hammer ( doesn’t have the most finesse, mostly just likes getting things done, her technique isn’t exactly intricate, but ALWAYS effective ).

Even if most people probably don’t know that she’s a death eater ( though some probably suspect lbr ), she has a very intimidating presence. That’s her brand. And she still has that Weird Aura about her, like there is something that isn’t quite right, so that could also weird people out.

STYLE / FASHION / APPEARANCE:

Bellatrix has jet black eyes and the hair to match. It falls in soft curls over her shoulders, down her back.

Usually wears dark red lipstick.

She hides her dark mark with a concealment spell while out in public.

Dresses mostly in black. Has to wear clothes that can fit into the muggle world while at work, occasionally, while out and about. While there, she wears a well worn leather jacket ( with shoulder pads, in true 70s style, we love a style icon ), and wide, black pants.

Files her nails into long claws, and paints them black.

Is tall. Likes towering over people.

Her cheekbones could cut a bitch.

AESTHETICS / VIBES:

black dresses, whispered hexes, broken champagne glasses, the calm before the storm, bullets caught between teeth, a constant paradox, skin stained black and blue, a devilish grin, ‘is that wine or blood on your carpet?’, snakes wrapped around wrists, mean eyes, always running hot and cold, a cheshire cat’s smile, soft laughter as the light leaves your eyes, divine violence, a taste of the approaching revolution / the new world order, quiet desperation, family heirlooms, unwavering loyalty, sudden fits of rage, emerald lockets, double lives, ‘would you still like me with my hands around your neck?’, no conscience, silent promises, taunting you with her very last breath, the hardest of hearts, dried blood on expensive clothes and a quiet conviction that this will all make sense in the end.

CHARACTER INFLUENCES:

amy dunne ( gone girl )

jamie moriarty ( elementary )

glory / glorificus ( btvs )

villanelle ( killing eve )

jennifer blake ( teen wolf )

klaus mikaelson ( tvd )

kilgrave ( jessica jones )

lilith ( supernatural )

drusilla ( btvs )

helena ( orphan black )

faith lehane ( btvs )

mazikeen ( lucifer )

FAVORITE CHARACTER TROPES:

SLASHER SMILE - a smile in anticipation of pain or death // a cheshire cat grin.

THE DRAGON - a monster the hero has to get past to get at the big bad. the top enforcer.

TORTURE TECHNICIAN -  takes the heroes and turn them into screaming, shinned shambles.

LADY MACBETH - frequently more crazy than her husband, quite the sociopath, in the business of turning men towards evil.

EVIL WEARS BLACK - duh.

DISSONANT SERENITY - someone smiling gently in the middle of death and carnage, seeming almost enlightened as they slit throats left and right.

THE BERSERKER - throws herself into battle with such reckless abandon, that it seems like she wants to die. never, ever retreats.

THE BARONESS - a female baddie with a chilly disposition and more than a touch of the dominatrix about her.

WICKED CULTURED - evil is intellectual // basically an evil aristocrat.

THE CHESSMASTER - thinking three moves ahead at all times. manipulating, planning, plotting.

DADDY’S LITTLE VILLAIN - shares dark father’s ambitions.

BERSERK BUTTON - always ready to fucking snap.

SOFT SPOKEN SADIST - occasionally. a monster who might describe just how horribly she’s going to mangle you, while speaking in a voice that’s anything but monstrous.

DARK ACTION GIRL - likes beating the hero to a bloody pulp. good at it too.

AMBITION IS EVIL - has grand plans. ends justify the means, always.

[shestranged]

Bellatrix Hecate Lestrange // the devil shudders as she rises ( she’s taking aim for his throne )

She grew up wanting to break things —- toys and hearts and bones and people. Her father indulged her, quietly forming her into the woman that she is today, a weapon, a beast. Someone who finds peace in the destruction, in the chaos, in the violence. People say that she came out a little wrong - something unhinged about her persona already as a child. Those jet black eyes, waiting to devour you. Sharp teeth pulling into a Cheshire cat grin before she could even speak. As she grew older, she became more adept at hiding her… faults, slowly learning how to suppress her anger, her hatred. Instead growing colder, burning less hot ( a ticking time bomb in the making ). But then she met him. And at his side, she became so much worse. As his right hand, she tapped into unimaginable powers, but it all came at an equally unimaginable price. With him, she became less human, more vile. At his side, all she wanted to see was the streets run red with blood.

what up i’m liz, i’m twenty one and i’m here to bring u my favorite villain and chaotic badass, bellatrix lestrange !! this will be a bit long probably bc i could talk about her 5ever. most important parts to read probably are #hogwarts years, #after hogwarts and #personality stuff !!

PINTEREST BOARD: (x)

PLAYLISTS: (x) (x) (x)

BIOGRAPHY: (x)

QUICK STATS:

name: bellatrix hecate lestrange occupation: senior obliviator former house: slytherin date of birth: december 23. age: 32

BIRTH AND EARLY YEARS:

Let’s set the scene --- it’s a cold December night, right before Christmas, and the Black mansion is shaken by blood curdling screams. It’s the kind that leaves you breathless, shivers running down your spine, leaving you with the sense that something is very, very wrong. Which, Druella Black fears that it very well might be ---- because her (expected) son is four weeks early. 

The birth process is excruciatingly long and difficult for poor, poor Druella, but when the clock strikes eleven on the night before Christmas, a girl comes crashing into the world. She’s not what they expect, nor what they want, and she never cries --- instead, she just watches them with those big black eyes that always seem to be appraising something.

-

Though Bellatrix’s birth was mostly an unwelcome surprise ( she came too early, and it was no secret that her parents had hoped for a boy ), she was also the first child to carry on the Black legacy, which was an honor. A necessity.

As a baby, she was small and meager. Nurses whispered about the Black baby that could barely muster a scream, that seemed so frail. Like she might break at any second. But that memory would soon fade and be replaced by a much more unpleasant one - because Bellatrix’s bones hardened, her skin thickened, her eyes grew meaner. Within a few years, any trace of that soft baby was gone, and instead, a cruel toddler took her place.

As a child, Bella was vicious. Biting, clawing, screaming and cursing were things she picked up fast, and she’d terrorize the other kids at the playground ( with an almost scary aim for her muggle born / half blood peers ). 

Once she reached the age of seven, she calmed down a bit, and instead started following her father around ( and was lovingly referred to as his ‘little shadow’ ). Eager to prove herself, she learned everything that a son of Cygnus would have learnt. She was determined to show her father that being a girl would not stop her from becoming worthy of the Black throne, to carry his name with pride. Over the years of her childhood and adolescence, Bellatrix forged herself into the golden girl, a respectable heir in the making. Desperate to wear the crown.

Under her father’s influence, uncontrollable rage was switched in for an eerie quietness, anger instead boiling right below the surface, just waiting to be unleashed. She was so eager to please, to sculpt herself into whatever he wanted, so she suppressed her emotions the best she could, even though it never felt natural. And so, the nurses whispered again, but this time, it was about her sweet, sweet smile, matched with those mean, mean eyes. ‘Doesn’t it look distorted? Like that damn Cheshire cat. Something’s not right about that girl, I’m telling you. She came out wrong’.

Behind closed doors, Cygnus also encouraged Bella’s darker side. Introduced her to the dark arts and the chaos that she would later come to love so desperately.

Most of her childhood was characterized by harsh words, strict rules and high expectations. Her family’s reputation weighed heavy on her shoulders, constantly pressuring her to excel. Luckily, she shared her parents’ ambition and values, and had no problems conforming to their rule. Which also meant that she could get away with much else. As long as she remained the golden girl, Bellatrix could run wild and free.

HOGWARTS YEARS:

Bellatrix had been duly prepped before arriving at Hogwarts. She was the first of their children to walk the halls, so it was important to both Druella and Cygnus that Bellatrix knew how to behave. Who to fraternize with. Who to avoid. Who was worthy of her time. Her parents had also made sure that she already had the appropriate friends — and play dates with other pureblood kids were a common occurrence when Bellatrix was younger.

At school, Bellatrix was popular ---- the resident cool girl. The type of girl that hardly ever objects to anything, because she is always down to have a good time. The type of girl that loves Quidditch, dirty jokes and cheap beer. The type of girl that hides her true colors, at least for a while. Until she explodes.

So Bella kept out of trouble, for the most part. There were a couple.... incidents, with muggleborns. One or two may have been turned into rats and toads ( under the guise of it being a joke --- can’t you take a joke, come on now? ). More serious things have been strictly forgotten by everyone involved. Powerful parents will do the trick. Mostly though, Bellatrix kept to her fellow Slytherins... biding her time. Waiting to strike.

She played for the Slytherin Quidditch team, as a beater, and was eventually made captain ( nothing less for a child of Cygnus, she must excel ). During her time on the team, she was notorious for her cruel playing style, her foul tricks, the constant smirk on her lips as other players fell to the ground. 

And during her sixth year, she was eventually recruited into the Death Eaters. And with them, she found a second home, quickly rising through the ranks. 

AFTER HOGWARTS:

After graduating from Hogwarts, Bellatrix took a year off from her studies. The official reason was that she needed to “find herself”. Whatever the fuck that meant. Obviously, it was a lie to hide what she was really up to. In reality, Bellatrix was at Voldemort’s side, learning leglilimency and occlumency, all the while developing her dark magic and her shitty personality.

Quickly became Voldemort’s personal attack dog, always willing to do his bidding, no questions asked.

At the age of nineteen, Bellatrix found work as an obliviator. Though the choice had ultimately been hers to make, the dark lord was always whispering in her ear, encouraging her to infiltrate the ministry. The goal was to have sleeper agents of death eaters in every department once it was time to go to war. It also helped that becoming an oblivator just made sense — fucking with the minds of muggles could already be counted as a hobby (albeit a twisted one), and she had always been good at taking things that didn’t belong to her… Memories would be no different.

Will occasionally throw pureblood galas, but isn’t too invested in them. They’re just for show, and she couldn’t care less.

Among the Death Eaters, Bellatrix is in the inner circle. She considers herself the dark lord’s right hand, and prides herself on being his most loyal servant.

Bellatrix also has a pet snake, lovingly named Medusa. 

Today, Bellatrix works as a senior obliviator at the ministry of magic. She handles a lot of paper work, but is also out in the field a lot.

PERSONALITY:

First of all - Bellatrix is a fucking shit show and we all know this.

She is like night and day ----- and her temper switches incredibly quickly, which makes her unpredictable, a little scary. She can go from the girl her family forced her to be - the Socialite, the Sophisticated Woman, the Cool Girl, to something far more sinister in the matter of minutes.

When she’s at her worst, Bellatrix is cruel, sadistic, self righteous, impulsive, angry as hell, deranged, unstable, manipulative, a little bit unhinged, ruthless, playful, childish and absolutely lethal. It’s always brewing right below, so close to the surface, just waiting to come out.

But she’s also calculating, clever, quick on her feet, intensely passionate, fiercely loyal (until she’s... not), adaptable, intuitive and assertive. 

Bella often contradicts herself — she has grown up believing that it’s best to be cold and devoid of emotions (#thanks dad), but she’s a highly emotional person by nature. She tries to suppress that as best as she can, but she usually boils over pretty fast. Other emotions are usually translated into anger as well, so that’s fun. I think the best way to describe her is that she’s just fire, always burning hot or cold.

Voldemort’s influence on her is also really important!! His influence poisons her mind, her soul, her heart. The darkness that was already there is amplified, becomes a thousand times worse. Though already a skilled witch, he introduced her to magic she could only have dreamed of --- and that power became corruptive, addictive. For power, Bella would gladly pay the steep price of sacrificing her soul, her humanity.

Bellatrix really does think that she is in the right. 

Also probably thinks that she’s better than everyone else at all times. There’s definitively an air of arrogance surrounding her.

Mrs Lestrange thinks that she’s invincible, and likes walking a little too close to the cliff’s edge ( playing with fire ). Will occasionally drop hints that she COULD be a death eater, but never goes too far with it. And if someone suggests that she is one, she acts like that’s absolutely outrageous. How dare you imply that I am affiliated with anything... !

Okay so, I am convinced that Bellatrix doesn’t reach peak evil + instability until after Voldemort’s fall and Azkaban, so I’m really trying to tone her down a bit and give the influence of her upbringing ( + her nature ) a bigger role in the person that she becomes. Hence why she is a little better at hiding her true colors, a little more refined. : ~ ) Though, she’s still the hammer ( doesn’t have the most finesse, mostly just likes getting things done, her technique isn’t exactly intricate, but ALWAYS effective ).

Even if most people probably don’t know that she’s a death eater ( though some probably suspect lbr ), she has a very intimidating presence. That’s her brand. And she still has that Weird Aura about her, like there is something that isn’t quite right, so that could also weird people out.

STYLE / FASHION / APPEARANCE:

Bellatrix has jet black eyes and the hair to match. It falls in soft curls over her shoulders, down her back. 

Usually wears dark red lipstick.

She hides her dark mark with a concealment spell while out in public.

Dresses mostly in black. Has to wear clothes that can fit into the muggle world while at work ( since she is often out in the field, interacting with muggles ). While there, she wears a well worn leather jacket ( with shoulder pads, in true 70s style ), and wide, black pants.

Files her nails into long claws, and paints them black.

Is tall. Likes towering over people.

AESTHETICS / VIBES:

black dresses, whispered hexes, broken champagne glasses, the calm before the storm, bullets caught between teeth, a constant paradox, skin stained black and blue, a devilish grin, ‘is that wine or blood on your carpet?’, snakes wrapped around wrists, mean eyes, always running hot and cold, a cheshire cat’s smile, soft laughter as the light leaves your eyes, divine violence, a taste of the approaching revolution / the new world order, quiet desperation, family heirlooms, unwavering loyalty, sudden fits of rage, emerald lockets, double lives, ‘would you still like me with my hands around your neck?’, no conscience, silent promises, taunting you with her very last breath, the hardest of hearts, dried blood on expensive clothes and a quiet conviction that this will all make sense in the end.

CHARACTER INFLUENCES:

amy dunne ( gone girl )

katherine pierce ( tvd )

jamie moriarty ( elementary )

glory / glorificus ( btvs )

villanelle ( killing eve )

jennifer blake ( teen wolf )

klaus mikaelson ( tvd )

kilgrave ( jessica jones )

lilith ( supernatural )

drusilla ( btvs ) 

cersei lannister ( got )

helena ( orphan black )

faith lehane ( btvs )

mazikeen ( lucifer )

FAVORITE CHARACTER TROPES:

SLASHER SMILE - a smile in anticipation of pain or death // a cheshire cat grin.

THE DRAGON - a monster the hero has to get past to get at the big bad. the top enforcer.

TORTURE TECHNICIAN -  takes the heroes and turn them into screaming, shinned shambles.

LADY MACBETH - frequently more crazy than her husband, quite the sociopath, in the business of turning men towards evil.

EVIL WEARS BLACK - duh.

DISSONANT SERENITY - someone smiling gently in the middle of death and carnage, seeming almost enlightened as they slit throats left and right.

THE BERSERKER - throws herself into battle with such reckless abandon, that it seems like she wants to die. never, ever retreats.

THE BARONESS - a female baddie with a chilly disposition and more than a touch of the dominatrix about her.

WICKED CULTURED - evil is intellectual // basically an evil aristocrat.

THE CHESSMASTER - thinking three moves ahead at all times. manipulating, planning, plotting.

DADDY’S LITTLE VILLAIN - shares dark father’s ambitions and cruelty.

BERSERK BUTTON - always ready to fucking snap.

SOFT SPOKEN SADIST - occasionally. a monster who might describe just how horribly she’s going to mangle you, while speaking in a voice that’s anything but monstrous.

DARK ACTION GIRL - likes beating the hero to a bloody pulp. good at it too.

AMBITION IS EVIL - has grand plans. ends justify the means, always.