#honorable mention to whatever the fuck they have going on during 15

[morphestic]

the 5 homoerotic love languages between soukoku: - downright obsession - oblivious pining - princess roleplay - stalking

and finally: - having a 6th sense that tells each other where they are.

[disney-is-mylife]

Do you know the ages of the Disney princes and list the official Disney princes.

The Official Princes are literally just whoever ends up with the Official Princess lol.

As for the age thing....

Okay, so this topic has been on my mind recently because of a LOT of misinformation floating around, so Imma go off for a bit (keep in mind, I use profanity quite loosely, but I swear I'm not mad at you, anon, I just have a Lot of Feelings lol):

Canonically speaking, in the texts of the films, almost NONE of the Disney princes/male love interests have an exact age stated. So all those stupid posts that claim that Snow White's prince is 31 while she's 14 or whatever the fuck? Bullshit. Pulled out of someone's ass because there's concept art of stating Snow White is a young girl, around 14 years old. But it's NEVER stated in her film. And there's no evidence around the Prince's age.

Disney movies and characters with an age, or alluded age:

Sleeping Beauty, when Maleficent casts the curse on Aurora: "Before the sun sets on her 16th birthday..."

The Sword in the Stone, when Merlin is predicting Wart's arrival: "He'll be, uh, a boy. Small boy, uh.... 11... 12 years old."

The Little Mermaid, what Ariel says to her father mid-argument: "I'm 16 years old! I'm not a child!"

Beauty and the Beast, during the prologue about the Beast/Adam: "... an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year."

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, when Frollo reveals the truth about Quasimodo's mother and finally gives us a time frame: "Now I am going to do what I should've done 20 years ago!"

Hercules, as stated by the Muses the day he was born: "In the 18 years precisely, the planets will align ever so nicely..."

Atlantis, when Milo realizes Kida is immortal: "That's impossible, because, I mean, that would make you, you know 85... 88... hundred years old!"

Tangled because. Well. I mean. Rapunzel's 18th birthday is Kinda a Big Deal in the film and brought up several times lol

Encanto, since the film opens with hMirabel being 5 years old to get her door, but it never happened, and the rest of the film takes place 10 years later, so, obviously, she's 15.

Honorable Mention Frozen, because the creators came out and said that Anna is 18 and Elsa is 21, but again. Never actually stated IN THE MOVIE.

Disney heroes/heroines are, for the most part, ageless. They are either children or vaguely older teens/young adults because they are for a younger demographic, meant to be role models or relatable, and teenagers are the perfect vessel for coming-of-age heroic stories.

Honest to gods, when in doubt, if the hero/heroine is an older looking teen, I just assume they're 18+ lol, maybe 16-17 at the youngest. Snow White is 16 now. That's my canon now.

[cocochannel00]

The Azoff Family: A Case Study on one of the Music Industry’s Most Connected Families

(ft. a breakdown of the Grammy voting process and problems)

This is very long so I will try and split it up into categories for everyone (sorry I got carried away- I spent like 2 hours writing this) but enjoy!

*Disclaimer: I want to preface while the majority of this is based in research, some parts may be speculation. I don’t know the family personally so I can’t tell you what goes on behind closed doors but I can tell you how parts of the entertainment/music industry work. I’ve had 5 internships in the industry (one in marketing at one of the big record labels) and the rest of my work is publicity (what I enjoy) and events and a former advisor used to run in the same circles as Irving Azoff (and he spilled some tea last year) I’m not out here to diminish the hard work of any artists or their teams, I’m simply here to showcase parts of the industry that aren’t always shown.*

Please also see: Story Time: How Fan Pages Directly Impact Columbia Records Decisions and Harry Styles Image

IRVING AZOFF: NEVER STOP THE GRIND

Let’s begin with the great business man himself Mr. Irving Azoff Irving Azoff is the literal posture child for connections and power in the music industry (he was also inducted into the 2020 rock and roll hall of fame class which is like a huge fucking deal for a manager to be inducted so you know he's the real deal)

In conclusion, I love Irving Azoff and his drive.

Irving Azoff: Early Years Run Down:

He came up middle class (dad was a pharmacist, mom a bookkeeper) in Danville, Illinois

He dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and managed local acts in the era

Opportunity came knocking and he got the chance to manage the Eagles and the rest is history

He's one of the best negotiators and has negotiated business on behalf of stars like Stevie Nicks, the Eagles, and Jimmy Buffet

Azoff has been an incredible manager and his drive to always advocate for his clients while basically not giving two sh*ts about what people think of him has gotten him the incredible reputation he has today.

All of Irving Azoff’s Major Job Positions:

Former President MCA (major label)

Former CEO of Ticketmaster and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation.

In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment (Currently still CEO)

----> Azoff also ran the Forum in Inglewood under Azoff MSG Entertainment after MSG purchased it in 2012 (it was sold in 2020 to the owner of the Clippers) — why do you think Harry played the forum for the Fine Line show? Azoff connection

Azoff MSG Entertainment encompasses all of the other companies including Full Stop Management, Global Music Rights (performance-rights org), and the Oak View Group (arena developing company)

He also is the co-founder and manager of the lobbying group Music Artists Coalition, a group that helps lobby for artists-rights issues such as royalty rates, copyright issue and healthcare insurance (see he's not all bad)

Essentially what I'm getting at is this man knows anybody who's anybody. He's the man you want on your team to help promote your music, plan your tour, and get you on that Grammy nom list.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

JEFFREY AZOFF: THE CHILD OF NEPOTISM

So for those of you that don't know, Jeffery Azoff is Harry's current manager and the son of Irving Azoff (the third of four kids). He's currently a partner at Full Stop Management, the company owned by Irving and the one artists such as Harry, Haim, the Eagles, Kings of Leon, and Meghan Trainer are signed to.

Jeffrey graduated from the University of Colorado's Leeds School of Business and started working fresh out of college at his father's old Management company (Frontline Management) working under Maroon 5's manager Jordan Feldstein (the only way you get that kind of internship/job as a 21 year old fresh out of college is if your family or family friends gives it to you). He worked here for 5 years.

Direct Quote from Irving Azoff to Jeffrey (really tells you a lot): "Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son."

After working for his father, Jeffrey moved on to the talent agency CAA (Creative Artist Agency) where he worked for roughly 3 and half years before joining his dad in forming Full Stop Management in 2016.

While he was at CAA, Irving moved over clients like Christina Aguilera and the Eagles to the talent agency to help with tour booking instead of doing it internally through LiveNation (he was CEO).

Even though I'm sure Jeff has had to work somewhat hard to get to where he is (or at least to mess up his dad's work as he doesn't seem like the type to take laziness well), the door into the industry and every job was basically handed to him on a silver platter.

Not to mention if you watch episodes of keeping up with the  kardashians (like myself) you can actually see Jeff hanging out with kendall and the rest of the fam at their Palm Springs house (you know you're a nepotism kid if you have an in with the Kardashian crew). Invite me next time Jeffrey!!!

Think of the Azoff's as the mafia family of the music industry, you don't mess with the mafia

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE GRAMMY AWARDS: STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS ON STEROIDS

Ok so here's where we’re going to get into a bit more of the speculation/grey area. I don't need to tell you that award shows are corrupt (See the Golden Globes Emily in Paris scandal) and the Grammys are not an exception. Think of the Grammys as one big student council/government elections where despite the fact the teachers tell you six times to vote for the best candidate, you're still going to vote for your friends even if they aren't the best.

A simplified break-down of Grammy voting:

1) Recording Academy voting members (artists, producers, musicians- anyone involved first hand with the creation of music; All voting members must have been producers, performers or engineers on six or more tracks of a commercially released album (or 12 or more digital tracks) and record labels will submit nominations in various categories to the grammys (songs need to be released commercially between October 1 of the previous year and September 30th of this year). You can also become a voting member by either winning a grammy or being endorsed by a current voting member (hint hint)

2) Once received, the recording academy with have the academy of trustees and its reviewers organize them and approve any changes to the 30 categories/fields (aka they can add new categories or remove old ones; so no best ukulele album of the year -- this is where things get funky)

There's speculation that during this stage when these special groups of 8-10 people are organizing genres, there's an "unwritten rule" that you need to be careful what album you green light (especially for famous artists) if you don't want them to win) (Rob Kenner said this- he used to be on one of these committees). Famous people tend to get more votes from clueless or lay Academy members that don't know the specialized categories or don't care enough to listen to songs that aren't radio trending.

3) After the nominations occur, Voting members begin their first voting. Members can vote for the four general categories of record of the year, album of the year, song of the year and best new artist and a maximum of 15 categories, all within their areas of expertise. Now the interesting thing is that while these are the guidelines there is literally nothing stopping them from voting in whatever categories they want (i.g. a rapper voting in the opera category despite not listening to opera). Theses ballots are all tallied and the top 20 entries are determined in each category (funky moment #2)

In 12 of the 84 categories those top 20 go to the ballot and it's done; for the rest it’s not like that. 59 categories including the big four go to a "nomination review committees" (identities are protected so they can't get lobbied... sure) who take a look at the top 20 and narrow it down to 7 or 8. (these are the special committees the Weekend talked about when he was snubbed). They're supposed to choose the nominees "based solely on the artistic and technical merits of the eligible recordings" which lets be real if that was the case Watermelon Sugar (along with most of the others in the category) I don't think would have been nomimated as they are very generic pop (none of them are special... sorry to the WM lovers out there).

This committee is basically held to THE HONOR CODE SYSTEM... I mean tell me when the last time the honor code system worked in literally any scenario (literally wtf). Don't take my word for it though the former CEO of the Academy Deborah Dugan (a queen) filed a complaint against the Recording Academy basically claiming that the nomination review process was rigged (she was fired after 5 months on the job).

Quote from Deborah Dugan "Members of the board [of trustees] and the secret committees chose artists with whom they have personal or business relationships... It is not unusual for artists who have relationships with Board members and who ranked at the bottom of the initial 20-artist list to end up receiving nominations."

These review committees can also exploit there power by adding up to two nominees that don't appear on the top 20 list to the final voting ballot (except in the 4 big categories - which watermelon sugar that one wasn't nominated for)

They also have craft committees for like non performance stuff (like album notes, engineering and arranging) that don't even get voted on by the academy voting members

4) After all of that fucked up mess, the grammy's decided is ok, the ballots go back to the voting members for the final vote. Deloitte (an accounting firm) then counts all of them, seals them in envelopes, and delivers them to the Grammy award show.

** The Grammy's just announced this year they're removing the "secret committees" so let's see how things shift in the next couple of years**

So obviously I'm not saying this to discredit Harry's nomination or his win as Fine Line was in the US top 20 albums for the majority of 2020, however, we must acknowledge privilege. Harry has a big name to him and a huge following, and while all of that shouldn't be taken into account, it does. He also has the Azoffs, a very well connected family with friends in lots of places that would be able to put in a good word here and there to get support behind Harry. Harry won best pop solo performance for Watermelon Sugar in a category with Doja Cat, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, and Dua Lipa. Look at the names there, the songs (ya'll can try and remember them cause I'm too lazy to write it out) and tell me that those top names with all of the music produced didn't get there through some connections.

Do with all this information what you will and if you are interested in learning more about the entertainment industry on your own Endeavor (owners of WME, a big talent agency like CAA) is hosting a free online program called the Excellence Program to help guide the future generation of industry executives. The program is a-synchronous and starts on July 12th. Highly recommend giving it a go if you're interested!!!

Alright ya'll that's it. Feel free to message me with your thoughts!

Extra Sources if you'd like to read:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkdndn/how-grammys-voting-actually-works-and-where-the-alleged-corruption-lies

https://www.grammy.com/grammys/awards/voting-process

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2020-11-05/irving-azoff-eagles-manager

https://celebrityaccess.com/caarchive/jeffrey-azoff-exits-caa-to-launch-new-management-company/

https://www.rollingstone.com/pro/features/grammy-awards-secret-committees-945532/

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grammy-awards-eliminate-secret-committees-voting-changes-1163887/

[chalkrevelations]

Episode 32 of Word of Honor, and once again, this is just. A LOT. A LOT is happening, and all of it is A LOT. Also, show, what is even happening? I have questions. A LOT of questions.

(Spoilers. Go ahead and scroll on by, then come back later, if you want to watch it unspoiled.)

BUT FIRST, before anything else, you know I have to yell about this for a minute because we once again see that the Gu Xiang/Cao Weining relationship and the Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou relationship are the same relationship. We get the same scene with A-Xiang and Cao Weining – again – that we’ve already seen with Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu, this time from Ep 27, with Fan Shishu in the role of Ye Baiyi. Fan Shishu (YBY) asks “Do you know who she (he) is?” and this time, Cao Weining knows, just as ZZS knew in Ep 27. Cao Weining (ZZS) literally throws himself in front of A-Xiang (WKX) to protect her (him). “Kill us both” (Ep 27). “If you’re going to hurt her, kill me first” (Ep 32). Fan Shishu, like YBY, eventually lets A-Xiang and Cao Weining go, despite having them in a position where he could do them in. Color palettes between the two couples in these scenes match again, with the younger couple being more intense this time – A-Xiang and Wen Kexing in pinks, Cao Weining and Zhou Zishu in blue. (ZZS is mainly in creams and grey, but the piping on his robes is a very light blue, I think the greys have a blue undertone to them, and when you stand him next to Chengling in more intense blue while he’s wearing that particular outfit, it really starts to pull out the blue of ZZS’s outside robe – you can see this at the end of Ep 26.) Between the way these relationships continue to mirror each other and the hairpin scene from the last ep, I honestly don’t know what our takeaway is supposed to be, other than that WKX and ZZS are essentially married.

I also find it interesting - although this almost seems like too much of a stretch to be anything other than coincidence - that we get a specific callback to Ep 27 in this episode, as Ep 27 is also when WKX talks about not wanting to lie to Chengling about who he is anymore, and this ep is when they finally (apparently) meet again after Chengling learns the truth.

Aaaand now A-Xiang is crying, so of course I’m crying. Aaaand then we have the mournful montage. Give me a minute. And some tissues. I notice how much of this mournful drunken montage is ZZS remembering all the times he was cranky with WKX. Oh, honey. No. That’s what you’re remembering, because you feel bad, but it’s not what he would remember at all, if he was looking back over his time with you. And even if he did, it would be with great fondness.

Yeah, so, if I haven’t mentioned, this episode is a LOT. We get a big confrontation between WKX and half the jianghu/the Scorpions/some of the Ghost Valley contingent, ZZS showing up to support his man, Fantastic Cranky Grandpa of my heart getting in his eleven cents, Chengling shooting one of his dads, and two yeets off a cliff. And that’s only 15 minutes into the episode. This is too much, show. And I have too many questions. Also some observations. Also some wild speculation, not just about the fact that Wen Kexing is not dead but also about how he may have (not) got that way. And not just because there’s still four episodes left, and it’s too early for him to be dead.

First a small observation but pretty significant, I think: WKX is NOT in his blood-red Ghost Valley master robes during this confrontation. In fact, I think we’ve seen this set of robes in happier days with Zhou Zishou and Chengling. Just noticing this. Also noticing WKX’s face when Shen Shen starts going on about WKX’s parents and how omg if they could see WKX now they’d die all over from the shame, and WKX’S expression is like, the fucking audacity of Shen Shen saying this, and if he could actually kill people with the power of his mind, Shen Shen would be twitching and frothing on the ground. Also noticing the complete change when WKX sees Chengling – it’s like Shen Shen ceases to even exist for him. Gong Jun, your face, it’s killing me. Anyway, I’m going to start wildly speculating here for a minute, because WKX is willing to let Chengling kill him, because he’s so tired and wants to stop fighting, but he’s going to kick everyone else’s ass who even tries it? And then Chengling is actually the one who shoots him and yeets him off the cliff? Is this a set up? Is Chengling in on this? Is he the one who’s supposed to “kill” WKX? If so, at what point did we get Chengling in on this? And who did it? Did Chengling send what’s his name, Jing Beiyuan’s guard, away on purpose at this particular point, because he knew ZZS would show up in time for this confrontation if he heard about Chengling’s reaction to the news about WKX? And do I actually believe Chengling is smart enough – and a good enough actor – to pull off any of this? (Look, I love our little goldbean plenty, but let’s face it, he’s not the brightest kid running around here.)

Also, my dudes. My clever little killers. Xie Wang and Wen Kexing. I am unwilling to believe that you two aren’t somehow still together on this in some way in order to fuck over Awful Yifu. Your antagonistic back and forth seems a little bit like playing roles. Xie Wang gives Awful Yifu a weird side-eye a few times when Awful Yifu talks about how tricksy and cunning WKX is, like maybe he’s reconsidering, and do not tell me you’re questioning and reconsidering whatever deal you’ve made with WKX, little gambler. Why does your Awful Yifu’s bs always work on you? This is really not the time to roll the dice again. I’m assuming A-Xiang is still the only one who knows about their tete-a-tete? If so, this is a side-take I never would have expected on “you don’t fail me, and I won’t fail you.” Honor among thieves? Stick to the plan, Xie’er, whatever the hell it is. Do not blink.

So then, Ye Baiyi shows up, and my immediate reaction is NO. My beloved cranky grandpa, don’t fuck this up, because whatever is going on seems to already have a lot of moving parts with a lot of places for things to go wrong! But … are you in on it, too? Have YOU coordinated with Chengling? (If so, maybe you should have warned him to expect ZZS’s wild-card self-yeet over the cliff’s edge, since you’ve already seen how self-destructive self-sacrificing these two can get over each other.) Making me even more suspicious, Ye Baiyi later proceeds to walk out of a banquet before even eating anything. This guy is walking away from food? There is no clearer sign in this ep that something is up.

Also, while we’re on the banquets, listen. I cannot be the only one who wants to punch Zhao Jing in the face during his interminable yapping during both post-fight banquets. This is one of those places where the show and the actor have done their job too well, because he is so dislikeable and so off-putting that I almost can’t bear to actually watch him. And yet, I can’t fast-forward, because what if I miss some info? Like the fact that … you know, I went back to watch this bit three times, and that is a very … interesting series of camera shots during the second banquet - after the toasts, just as a couple of randoms start advocating for Zhao Jing as head of the Five Lakes Alliance, and we move from Xie’er to Shen Shen to Chengling, all of them still standing, facing Zhao Jing after their individual toasts, all of them in a formation that’s almost caging him in from the front and both sides. It gets more interesting every time I watch it. Is … is Shen Shen also in on this, somehow?

See, I know that is a lot of wild speculation. I know Wen Kexing got yeeted off a cliff, and Ye Baiyi was busy catching Zhou Zishu. And we saw a body. And ZZS set that body on fire. But I also know that Liu Qianqiao was the person holding vigil outside the shed where the body was being held. And I know she’s the other person, besides ZZS, who we know of that knows the facemask disguise technique (in fact, didn’t she learn it from ZZS’s shifu?) We actually get reminded of this later on in this very episode. Which makes me wonder if that was actually WKX’s body, or somebody else, in the shed. Who “found” that body and recovered it? Was it a Scorpion or one of the Ghost Valley contingent? Also, where’s that key WKX was waving around, and why does no one seem to remember it?

 Other things:

lol at A-Xiang’s reaction to Jing Beiyun talking about how ZZS used to ask him to set ZZS up with girls. Further lol at Jing Beiyuan, “And funny enough, he was NEVER interested in them. Welp, time for another drink!” Seriously, Qi Ye, we like you, you can absolutely stay.

Still at the banquets, Xie Wang seems discombobulated during a lot of this. And then when Awful Yifu calls him Zhao Xie’er in front of everybody, holy shit, he’s getting everything he ever wanted. Xie’er, you … you’re not going to fall for this again, are you? Please tell me you are not falling for this again, at what is likely a crucial moment. This is NO TIME to take another roll of the dice, little gambler. Stick with the plan, whatever the hell it is.

Oh, hey! Are we finally getting some backstory on Fantastic Cranky Grandpa? Oh. OH. “Our child?” What is up, my friend? (I did go back to Ep 16, when WKX calls Chengling “my child” while defending him against Ye Baiyi, and looking at the Mandarin subtitles, I can’t entirely figure out (with my Level 2 Duolingo Mandarin) all of the nuances of these two references, but it doesn’t look like they’re using the same words to describe these relationships.) So some further wild speculation: Apparently, Cranky Grandpa Fantastico is solitary drinking in the dark instead of feasting at the banquet, over someone who (he feels) foolishly wanted to save the lost souls in the Ghost Valley? And now he feels like fate is making fun of him? And he’s asking Dead Beloved what he would do in Ye Baiyi’s position? Ye Baiyi, is it possible that fate is making fun of you because you have found yourself in the position of saving a lost soul from the Ghost Valley? Also, Ye Baiyi, I’ve noticed the children have been turning you grey. I don’t think you had that grey streak when you showed up for the first Hero’s Conference, did you? In fact, I feel like you got offended when WKX talked shit about possible grey hairs on your head. 

Duan Pengju, this asshole, omg … OMG. Well. I guess you got your confirmation, Xie’er. Were you really considering rolling the dice again? AT THIS POINT?

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[hooved]

GODDD sorry i’m dr*nk but i’m just reminiscing about when me and my friends used to roadtrip to fanime every year and every single time we’d meet up at little tokyo and one of our friends would pick us up in their big van and we’d immediately blast some hardstyle to get us pumped for the trip and like halfway through when we got to this mountain with a really winding road we’d put on some eurobeat because it felt like an initial D stage and. i dunno i can’t think rn but god it was so great. literally just the trip there was half the fun of the whole experience. i miss conventions SO much i’m just remembering one year fuckin. forever ago when weed was still illegal here. i had a bunch in my bag and me and my friends were just chillin on the 2nd floor of the uh. that one mall or whatever in dtla little tokyo just sniffing the inside of my bag lmao. i brought it to my friend’s lingerie party and GOD it was so fucking cold that night i had to walk like 2 miles to the hotel my friend was staying at in nothing but lingerie and my then-partner’s coat it was AWFUL but i got the satisfaction of supplying my friends with weed so like. it was worth it at the time lmao there was one year where we had like. i don’t remember, 12-14 ppl i think ?? crammed into a van that was meant for 8 ppl at most (AND there was a separate car for the rest of our group) and of course it was uncomfortable but god it was so fun. i think i still have videos from that trip (and the one mentioned above). we would stop at a sonic like halfway through for some hotdogs and whatever and honestly that was one of my favorite parts of the trip. just stopping at restaurants / gas stops / etc. especially when we’re sleep deprived and laughing at shit that isn’t even funny. there was one year where we managed to take a friend’s dad’s shuttle with a fucking tv in it (that we played snes f-zero on during the trip !!) and at one point we stopped in the middle of fucking nowhere and one of my friends was pretending to flirt with the truckers from afar. sorry i can like barely comprehend what i’m typing rn so this is mostly just stream of consciousness or whatever but !!! GOD I MISS CONVENTIONS. AND ROADTRIPS there was this guy who always brought his hookah set and set it up in the like, outside balcony area ?? at the san jose convention center and i swear this dude was a fucking saint. there were times where i’d be exhausted walking around all day and i’d find this dude and just sit down and smoke with him and literally cry because it was the first time all weekend that i felt truly relaxed. he had a custom hose with a dragon on it that he let me smoke from and i felt so honored lmao. like yeah we’re just smoking flavored tobacco but thanks dude for letting me use your dragon hose lmao. okay i’m just rambling at this point but. really these are important moments to me. like this dude got me bringing my own hookah set to cons (when i still had one ? i dunno where it is now) and being the reason ppl felt relaxed when they were having a stressful day UH anyway. i miss conventions. i have like a million stories i can tell since i’ve been going to cons for like. god. 15 years or something ??? but fanime was truly something special

[thorne93]

Inside the Criminal Mind (Part 18)

Prompt: You’re married to Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU, and are a distinguished doctor yourself on the team. You’re sent down to Miami, Florida for teaching and as a side request from the FBI, to investigate a string of missing persons. When you think you’ve figured out who the unsub is, your life becomes more complicated than you ever could’ve imagined.

Word Count: 3323

Warnings: (throughout the fic –>) death, blood, gore, killings, language, disturbing mental notions, mentions of rapes/murder/etc (You know, Dexter and Criminal Minds related business)

Notes: Thank you so much to @arrow-guy​​​​​, @carryonmyswansong​​​​​, and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​ - without each of you, I couldn’t have finished, written, or properly navigated this story. Each of you helped me fish out details that were incredibly important to me. Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong​​​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​… Aesthetic by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​

This is a crossover of Criminal Minds x Dexter. First time writing Dexter.

Also, the timeline is after Season 1 of Dexter, but during season 14-ish of Criminal minds into Season 15. Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Reid, what the hell?” JJ asked as she walked up from behind him.

“What?” he asked, turning around. 

“You put in an official request to not work with me?” she demanded, her face pinched with frustration.

“Yes,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Why?” 

“Because I don’t think it’s a good idea. At least for now. It’s putting a strain on my marriage and I think it’d be good if you and I weren’t around each other for a while.”

She frowned. “What, so you’re just going to quit the team or get me kicked off?” she asked, accusing him. 

“I’m merely asking Prentiss to keep us from doing assignments alone together.” He went to turn around but she followed him, still talking.

“You know, if you didn’t feel the same, you wouldn’t be doing this. If you’re so certain your marriage is fine, then being around me wouldn’t matter,” she insisted.

He stopped and turned to her. “This has nothing to do with me, or with Y/N. It has to do with you.” 

“Me?” 

“Yes, I don’t think I should work with you for fear it might fuel whatever fantasy you might have of me.”

She balked. “Uh, okay, it’s not a fantasy, Spence. I have feelings for you, and you have them for me.” 

“We’ve been over this, JJ. The only romantic feelings I had for you died a long time ago, and they have been dead since I met Y/N. The sooner you accept that, the sooner we can all move on.” 

“You know, the only time someone is worried someone is going to cheat, is when that person has already committed infidelity. Paranoia comes from a place of guilt, Spencer, remember that.” 

She began to leave when Reid called out to her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

She laughed slightly, almost a patronizing chuckle. “Oh, you mean you didn’t notice it? The way her and her friend from Miami acted?”

“Dexter? Morgan? The forensics guy? What about him? They’re friends.”

“You didn’t think she was a little too entranced with him? While you were missing, Spence, she and I had a fight in the bathroom. He pulled her out to take her for a walk. Next thing I know, I leave the bathroom and they’re huddled in a corner, whispering.” 

“She might’ve been confiding in him about the recent situation between you and me.” 

“Every time she needed something, she turned to him. Not to us. We’ve known her for years, and she barely spoke to us. Unless it was about the case and how to find you, she didn’t talk to us. She nearly fainted in the conference room and he escorted her out then too.”

“As I recall, you and I have leaned on each other quite a bit as friends, does that mean we’re romantically involved? What about Garcia and Morgan?”

She held up her hands. “I’m just saying. It seemed odd to bring him up here, and then she and him were never apart, and always whispering, always together. You did mention how you hadn’t heard from her for awhile…” With that, she left and Spencer was standing there, trying to decide if she was just trying to get inside his head. 

He thought about it, about the way you two moved around each other and looked around each other and there was some sort of secret, an intimacy there… But JJ couldn’t be right. You wouldn’t wait until you were down in Miami on a last minute decision to cheat on him… would you?

Well, you might if you thought Spence had cheated with JJ, he thought bleakly to himself. 

-----------------------------

The end of April was nearing, which meant you had about two weeks left of work in Miami, then it was off to D.C. to keep this up. You weren’t sure you could, or if you’d even be good at it, but at least you had the experience and maybe you could pick up a few tricks on your own. You’d have to work with Dexter on a disposal method once you got back here. 

Last night, you and Dexter had committed your third kill. He’d killed two in between yours. This was getting surprisingly easy. Knowing you were getting animal abusers off the face of the Earth, you were pretty happy with yourself. 

“So you’d never tell Deb, huh?” you asked as you sat on Dexter’s couch, holding a beer. 

“No,” he said emphatically.

“Rita?” you questioned with an eyebrow perch.

“No,” he echoed. 

“Aw come on, there’s got to be someone you’d tell.”

“I told you.” He tipped his beer bottle towards you.

You shook your head. “I figured it out. That doesn’t count.” 

“I don’t know. Why does it matter?” 

“Because, you are a fucking hero. Do you realize how many lives you’ve saved?” you asked, clearly impressed and excited.

“No, but I’m sure your husband could calculate it for me,” he said with a grin.

You smiled. “Yeah, he probably could.”

“He’s a really good guy. I see why you fell for him. He is very smart.”

“Intelligence gets me horny, every time,” you informed.

He laughed, leaning forward to put his beer on the coffee table. “Okay, might be TMI.” 

You gave him a bitch face. “Really, Dex? I’m not sure at this point in our relationship there’s such a thing as TMI.” 

He bobbed his head side to side. “Maybe not.” He took a breath before saying, “But I mean it. He seems to really love you. I can see it with the way he acts around you.” 

“Thanks… I hope so. I hope I haven’t lost him to JJ.”

“In my experience, people take what they want. He wouldn’t wait for her to tell him, and he definitely wouldn’t put the effort into trying to keep you if he wanted her.”

“Well what about you? You spend your life keeping up appearances, to make it easier.”

“Because I face the electric chair if I don’t,” he reminded sternly, his eyes dark with warning. 

You nodded. You often forgot that Dexter was in fact a serial killer, a sociopath. Even when you two were literally killing together. You never feared him. But sometimes, like just then, you got glimpses of the darkness within, and it reminded you of who he was, and what he was capable of. 

“In your case, Spencer doesn’t have to do all of that,” he continued.

“But what if he’s trying to keep both? What if JJ is just trying to keep her family together and Spencer doesn’t want to lose me too, so they’re going behind our backs and--”

“And thinking like that will drive you crazy. Knowing about it in advance doesn’t let you control the situation, Y/N, I’m sorry. I know you want to, but analyzing everything he says, does, or doesn’t do, won’t help you figure out if he has cheated or will cheat. Even then, you can’t control him. Maybe you thwart him one time, but if he really wants to do it, he’ll do it.”

“Gee, thanks,” you remarked.

“I’m serious. I know it sucks. I know it probably hurts, but you have to realize that working yourself up isn’t good either. Just… live life with him and be happy with him, until something concrete tells you not to be.” 

You peered at him. “See? Wise, and you clean up our streets. I swear, you should have a monument erected in your honor.” 

The two of you began laughing when a knock came at the door. 

“I’ll get it,” you informed as you hopped up from your seat. You went over to the door, still laughing when you opened it. 

But then your heart fell into your stomach when you saw your husband standing there.

“Spence?” you questioned, your pulse racing. 

“Hi, Y/N,” he said with no ounce of warmth.

“What--What are you doing here?” you stammered, wondering if he could hear your heart hammering in your chest. It was all you could hear right now, the rushing in your ears. 

“I wanted to see you. Can I come in?” 

You glanced back to Dexter who was already up and out of his seat behind you. You stepped back to let Spence in before closing the door and walking around in front of him. 

“What brings you down? Is the team on a case, or…?” you inquired, hoping he had some innocent reason for being here. 

“I just thought I’d come down to surprise you, but when I got to your apartment, you weren’t there,” he explained and your palms began sweating.

Man, you were shitty when it came to pressure. Well, when the guy applying pressure was your husband, yeah. 

“So, then I thought maybe you were at the college - I tried there, no luck. I tried the Miami PD, since I know sometimes you work there on the case of the missing persons. Then I realized, maybe, at 11 o’clock at night, you were at a friend’s. Asked where Morgan here lived and here I am.” He glanced over you to Dexter, a smile on his face. 

“Yeah, well I was just going so--”

“No you weren’t,” he said. “Your phone is on the table. Your purse is still in the corner over there, and you can’t stand to have a messy room, and there are two beer bottles opened on the coffee table.” 

“Right, I didn’t mean I was on my way out the door just that--”

“Just that… what? That you were upset about JJ so you started an affair to get back at me?” he asked and suddenly you realized what he was doing. 

For a moment, you thought he was onto you and Dex, your killings, but he was just jealous. This could be an easy fix.

“Jesus, why was I so blind?” he asked, more to himself than anything else. He ran a hand over his face. “I should’ve seen this. I should’ve been able to tell. I thought you two were just friends. It’s my own fault. I should’ve just told JJ that night I didn’t feel the same but instead I pushed you away. I was a liar. I didn’t mean to lie, but my actions caused you to go for another man… It makes sense now. How distant you were becoming, how infrequently you called. I just thought you were getting busy with finals but now...” His eyes shifted from you to Dexter, still standing still as a statue behind you.  

For a moment, you just chewed the insides of your cheeks. You let Spence believe you were a cheater, because that was better than the alternative… right? 

“How long has it been going on?” he asked.

You just looked at him, guilt and sorrow in your face. Your insides were churning hard and fast.

“Spence… we aren’t having an affair,” you informed slowly.

“I don’t believe you,” he finally admitted. “The two of you act like you have something to hide. You did in Kentucky too. The way you move around each other is more than friendly. Now tell me the truth or we’re over, Y/N.” 

Those words. That threat. Suddenly the idea, the thought of letting Spencer believe you could actually be unfaithful to him hurt a hell of a lot more than the idea of a prison sentence. 

“If it isn’t cheating, what is it? Because you’re hiding something. I know it. I may not be the best profiler, but I know my wife. Something is bothering you, something between you two, so what is it?” he demanded, frustration in his tone. But you knew where that frustration came from. You knew that anger lied in a place of love. He thought you were betraying him in one form or another, and he was hurt that you didn’t trust him any more. 

And that killed you.

Lying to him was easier when he wasn’t directly asking you why you were around Dexter. 

“You’re running out of time to tell me why you’re here at almost midnight, Y/N,” he stressed. “Is this because of JJ? Did you think I cheated so you wanted to get back at me? That doesn’t seem like you, but you’ve been colder, and more distant, I don’t know what else I’m supposed to believe--”

"Dexter's a serial killer!" you blurted out. Spencer's face morphed into total confusion and you decided to elaborate. "We both are. I've been studying him," you quietly stated. For a split second, you felt relief, but then a flood of anxiety and dread hit you, waiting for Spencer to react.

You hadn’t ever thought about how he would react. You never thought you’d tell him. You never thought you’d get caught. At worst, you assumed you’d be caught by the FBI or the police, get arrested, and Spencer would never see you again.

But telling Spencer face to face? He could pull his gun and just shoot you both - he probably wouldn’t, but he might. He could call the FBI without hesitancy to arrest. He could turn around and walk out of your life forever. 

“You… you’re what?” he stammered, his eyes narrowing as he shook his head. 

“You heard me,” you stated. 

“If this is some kind of sick way to get me to believe you aren’t cheating--”

“It’s not. It’s the truth,” you informed, glancing back to Dexter, apology in your face before turning back to your husband.

“What the hell do you expect me to do?” Spencer suddenly asked, looking at you, all intimacy gone from his eyes. 

You could almost physically feel your heart cracking in your chest at the look in his eyes. 

“I… don’t know. Maybe give me a chance to explain?”

He took a deep breath. “Okay, fine. Explain this to me.” 

That surprised you. You honestly thought he’d be calling the local FBI to take care of this. 

“Dexter kills murderers. He does thorough research on people, finds patterns the cops missed, and he takes them out. He never hurts kids, and he has to prove to himself that beyond a reasonable doubt they are killers,” you informed slowly. 

At this, he glanced back to Dexter. 

“Is this true?” 

“Yes. My father was a cop who showed me people fall through the cracks of the justice system and he wanted a way to right that wrong. He showed me a code and I follow it.”

Spence looked back at you as you started to explain more. “I discovered him when I was looking over the missing persons case. Half of them were in the criminal system, the other half led relatively perfect lives. I knew there was something wrong with that picture. Between profiling Dex, the victimology, and investigating some on the missing persons, I approached Dexter.”

“Why didn’t you turn him in?”

You let out a slight sigh. “Because Alan Rochester had just been released. Another one in the long list of people who have wealthy lawyers in a shitty judicial system. He got away, and he’s out there killing again. When I found out Dexter stopped killers… I couldn’t help but talk to him. At first, I just wanted to interview him, and possibly let him go. But then I realized… I wanted to help. I have so much rage and frustration and sorrow for all the families and cruelty that goes on the world. The violence we see that never gets justice and it just keeps going on. I wanted to… get my hands dirty. I wanted to help clean up the streets.”

“That’s what your job is for, as a federal agent,” he reminded angrily. “Did you forget that? You have broken every vow and oath you’ve ever taken, for what?”

“To save lives! The system doesn’t work, Spence! You know that!” you shouted. “They either get let go on trial, or they’re out of jail in ten years, ready to commit again and I just couldn’t see that happen again.”

“So you’re telling me you’ve killed people in cold blood?” he asked, incredulous. 

All you could do was nod. 

 He ran his hands over his hair and turned around. “I don’t believe this. Jesus, Y/N. You realize what you’ve done?”

“Yes. I’ve stopped several monsters from hurting helpless animals. I’ve assisted Dexter in making sure Miami has one less murderer. Tell me where that’s bad.”

“Because that’s not what we do!” he cried out, taking a step towards you, clearly in pieces. “We arrest them, we get them in the system, and we hope for the best.”

“Oh, like the system that let that psychopath Cat Adams manipulate guards and get you into jail? That system? She shouldn’t have been able to touch you, and you were framed for murder, Spencer.”

“I remember, I was in prison,” he stated darkly.

“Then you of all people should understand why I did this.” 

“I wish I could. But this is beyond anything I can comprehend.”

“Really? You did some shady shit while you were in prison, as I recall.”

“I did that to survive. This is different.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you’re actually upset that those pieces of shit are gone,” you challenged. With that, Spence just gave you a steely look. “I’m not saying you have to agree with it, but you can’t pretend you’re totally against it either. We’ve all thought of doing it.” 

“Right, thought of, we didn’t act on it. That’s what separates us from the criminals.” 

“I like to think hurting innocent people is what separates us. Maybe if you knew what kind of horrors these ‘victims’ committed, you’d know we aren’t the bad guys.” 

“Wait, why didn’t he just turn them in, then? If he has all this evidence of killings, why didn’t he just show his sister?” he demanded.

“He’s… he’s not psychologically capable. Sure, he can turn him in, but his father -- He’s got antisocial personality disorder. With or without the code his dad gave him, he will kill anyway. At least this way, it’s people who need it. Not to mention he doesn’t exactly gather all of his evidence in a legal way.” 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I have no idea what to do right now. Part of me says to turn you both in. Part of me says to just walk away from this whole thing, and let you live your life down here in Miami.”

“No, Spence, I--” You reached towards him, it was pure reflex, but he pulled away and that felt like hell to you. 

“I can’t deal with this right now. Okay? I just… I can’t. I’m going to go back to your apartment, and you need to be right behind me, before I change my mind,” he ordered. 

“I am. Let me just grab my things.” 

He didn’t nod, smile, or even look at you. He just turned and left, slamming the door on the way out. You immediately ran to Dexter, wanting to hug him or apologize, or…. Something.

“Dexter. I am… I am so, so, sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I know I should’ve lied but… I know Spence, and he’d leave me for infidelity.”

“And not for being a serial killer?” he inquired, a little sarcastic. 

“I don’t know. There may be hope. I know this puts you in a horrible situation. I never wanted you or me to get caught.” 

He nodded, his face oddly soft. “I know. But if this is how I go down, then… it’s not so bad. I see how much you love him, and if this is what you need to do… it’s what you need to do.”

You smiled before nodding and rushing to get your things. You ran out the door, a final sorrowful look at Dexter before shutting it behind you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[bleakcreek]

If it’s almost the end of the year, and we think i can safely say that this has been an AMAZING year for fic in the rhink fandom! there have been so many incredible new authors, on top of authors that have been around for years who are still writing about our boys, and i wanted to give a little bit of recognition to some of my personal favorite fics written in 2019!

i am not in any way implying these are “the best” fics, just the ones that i’ve personally enjoyed. i’m mostly sticking to either completed mutli-chapter fics or longer one-shots, and i’m limiting myself to no more than one fic per author so i spread the love.

without further ado, my (personal) top rhink fics of 2019. (behind a cut, because this post is very long.)

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If You’re Wondering If I Want You To by @ssodangdark Rating: Teen Chapters: 5 Words: 10,234

Summary: “The year is 2006 — you just crafted the perfect away message, The Fray is playing on your clock radio, and you're trying to figure out what band t-shirt to wear to school today. Meanwhile, two teenage boys meet for the first time and navigate their feelings for one another through the songs on one of their iPods.”

this fic is everything you could want in a high school au. it’s sweet, and full of pining, and comes with it’s own built-in soundtrack. i can’t recommend this fic enough. this fic is so sweet, you might get a cavity reading it.

Honorable Mentions: most of em’s other fics are oneshots, so i wanted to feature a longer fic, but i also have to acknowledge her oneshots too! Three’s a Crowd (rhett/link/jessie) and Chris Springs are two of my favorite fics and i would highly recommend reading them.

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Don’t Hold Back by @likeaswitchinheat Rating: Explicit Chapters: 26 Words: 86,501

Summary: “Link has a lot of responsibilities resting on his gorgeous shoulders. It’s Rhett’s job to unburden him of all that. When Link is Rhett’s, he doesn’t have to think about a thing. Rhett will take care of him.”

laika is another ridiculously prolific author, and i’m actually ashamed that it took me until a few weeks ago to read this fic even though it’s been finished for months. this fic is basically half shameless filth and half feelings and angst, which is pretty much exactly what i look for in a fic. 

Honorable Mentions: i absolutely love all of laika’s oneshots, of which there are far too many to name, but i’ll put myself on blast for my particular tastes by giving special mention to Man Bites Dog and Selfie. 

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Candids by @captainsourwolf Rating: Explicit Chapters: 8 Words: 19,635

Summary: “Rhett is a photographer fresh out of SCAD. He lands his first gig soon after graduation, just a simple print ad for a high school advertising their new senior class wear. At the shoot he meets in-demand fashion model Link Neal. It's tense from the start. Rhett ends up being his photographer on most of his shoots, and at every single one Rhett starts a collection of candid shots that he keeps for himself, in a box of trinkets he finds comforting.”

i absolutely loved this fic. i loved the premise, and the slowburn and build up, and the tender longing between rhett and link in this fic. i’m such a slut for pining, which is why this ultimately won out over a couple of elizabeth’s other fics, which are also very good. 

Honorable Mentions: a very close second for this my favorite fic of elizabeth’s was None Like This, but i ultimately had to give it to Candids because i’m a sucker for that softness. Aftercare and hump a little also deserve to be mentioned, too, if you’re looking for oneshots. 

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Rhinestone Cowboy by @soho-x Rating: Explicit Chapters: 15 Words: 26,439

Summary: “If he was honest with himself, he could admit the glamour of being on tour for one of Country Music’s biggest acts had clouded his better judgement. He’d quickly dismissed all apprehensions regarding living in a conversion van for three months, instead focusing on the idea of working a stage during a live show, standing in the wings while country maverick Roy Walker played to crowds bigger than the population of the town Rhett grew up in. It was a dream come true for a small town boy like him.”

this fic hooked me right from the first chapter! i was absolutely in love with the premise of rhett and link as country music stars, and this fic did not disappoint. if you like tender slowburn and pining, you’ll absolutely love this fic. it killed me in the sweetest possible way.

Honorable Mentions: for how recently em jointed the fandom, she’s written a ton of fic! Stolen Moments, No Good Very Bad, #Dormlife, and Only For Your Very Space (unfinished) are some of my other favorites from her.

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Apartment 69 by @apparentlynotreallyfinnish Rating: Explicit Chapters: 18 Words: 86,501

Summary: “Link has it all figured out. He has a plan for his life. He has a nice girlfriend and a nice job and a nice routine. It really doesn't mean anything that sometimes he gets off on watching men fuck each other. He's just curious. But when a famous gay porn star moves next door to him, his perfect plans start to fall apart.”

appa is one of the most prolific writers in the fandom, so it was really hard to narrow it down to just one fic from her. i actually almost put another fic of hers on here instead, but apartment 69 was the first fic of hers that i read, so i felt like i had to give it the edge over incognito if only for that.

this fic had me on the edge of my seat with every update, and it should be a testament to how much i loved this fic that i was genuinely shocked by how long it was, because i could have sworn it was less than 10 chapters. that’s how quickly i tore through it all.

Honorable Mentions: while i didn’t officially include them, i also want to mention her fics Incognito, I Only Want You to See Me (unfinished), NSFW, Wingman, and Let Me Be Your Light, as well as her entire library of oneshots. she is INCREDIBLY prolific so you can easily spend weeks going through her ao3 page and never run out of things to read.

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remember that time in college I found your handcuffs? by @egocentrifuge Rating: Explicit Chapters: 3 Words: 10,435

Summary: “Rhett feels antsy, wants to leave this entire conversation about the fetish gear he found in their dorm behind, but he still wants to know despite his better judgement.

“Okay, the - dom? takes control of a scene. Why wouldn’t the dom just do whatever he wants?”

“Because it’s all about trust, man.” Link’s face is open and sincere in that way he only gets when he believes in something; Rhett can’t look away. “The sub trusts the dom to make it good for them, and so the dom does their best to. It can be a lot of pressure, but it’s - good, too, being able to make someone feel safe and taken care of, you know? For someone to be willing to be that vulnerable…”

Something in the way Link says it trickles warmly down Rhett’s spine, and he puts his beer down.

“Alright,” he says firmly. “Fine. I don’t understand it completely but that’s - that’s fine. As long as you’re both happy or whatever.” There are more questions Rhett wants to ask, but it’s - too much, for some reason. Not just knowing weird kinky details of Link’s sex life, but the way he’s talking about it.

It's twenty years before they discuss it again.”

eggsy has the market cornered on a very particular genre i like to call “porn that makes you cry.” this fic mostly gets the spot because a lot of eggsy’s other fics are much shorter and/or not on ao3, and for purposes of a fic rec, i really wanted to give something long enough to really sink your teeth into, but i an assure you that every single one of their fics should and would be on here if i didn’t limit myself to one fic per author.

eggsy packs an incredibly amount of feeling into a small amount of words, and strikes a perfect balance between hot, angsty, and loving. i cannot recommend eggsy’s work enough.

Honorable Mentions: what of eggsy’s fics isn’t an honorable mention? Reciprocation, You Know What They Say, Men Who Dress Like They Do in California, Reprobates, Unbuttoned, and literally everything on their tumblr (which has a lot of stuff that isn’t on their ao3).

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The Murmur of Yearning by @its-mike-kapufty Rating: Explicit Chapters: 35 Words: 108,811

Summary: “When burnt-out professor Link Neal is offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that whisks him to the farthest reaches of the world, he isn't as ready as he thought he would be for the biting cold or the overwhelming darkness of Antarctica. Though at least he'd been given fair warning of those hazards.

The same couldn't be said of his new boss and research partner.”

mike has so many amazing fics that it by all rights should have been impossible to narrow it down to my one favorite, but honestly, this was a surprisingly easy choice. in spite of how much i love every single fic of mike’s, this one was so beautifully written and poignant, and i don’t think any other fic has ever made me cry the way this fic did. it hurts — in the best possible way.

i started reading this fic one evening after work, and was so captivated by it that i stayed up until 3 am, passed out midway through a chapter, then went home early from work the next day (sick! i was legitimately sick!) and laid in bed with a fever reading through the rest of this fic. the last written work i plowed through with that kind of speed and determination was harry potter and the deathly hallows...ten years ago. 

Honorable Mentions: truthfully i could just link to mike’s whole ao3 page here, but i have to at least give special mention to You Have (1) New Message for making me sob (and being the first fic of mike’s that i read), Feel Good for being delightfully fluffy and soft, Untethered for being so incredibly creative and exciting and having me on the edge of my seat for the entire month it was coming out, and And Sundowns Mend Rhett for making me feel things, as mike is wont to do. 

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The Traveler by @the-average-bear Rating: Mature Chapters: 13 Words: 52,712

Summary: “Rhett's on a journey.”

this fic is probably tied with The Murmur of Yearning for my favorite rhink fic of all time, but i had to give The Traveler the edge only because it’s not...quite an au, and while both fics gave me a lot of feelings, this fic focuses on the rhett and link we know and love. it explores what might have been and what could be — and it touches on my favorite genre of fiction, which is sci-fi. 

rhett finds himself accidentally traveling between timelines, exploring what his life could have been like under different circumstances. the build up to the rhink content is slow, and while there’s some smut, it’s pretty minimal, so this is a very different type of fic than a lot of the others here. but god, if you want to feel every feeling possible about these boys, if you want to cry, if you want to be overwhelmed by how much rhett loves link (and vice versa)...? 

please, please read this fic. 

Honorable Mentions: a lot of their other stuff is from pre-2019 so it’s kind of cheating to rec them on a post of the best fics of 2019, but seriously, please read any and all of their stuff. 

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More Honorable Mentions: i was going to do a lot more, but this list got really long and time consuming and i wasn’t able to do as many as i wanted. but some other authors i absolutely adored this year (in no particular order) are:

Rhincoln | @bloodbros

evenlypaced | @youdidinthedark

cockymclaughlin | @cockymclaughlin

pringlesaremydivision | @pringlesaremydivision

ohmyflavors | (not sure if they have a tumblr?)

LinksLipsSinkShips | @linkslipssinkships

missingparentheses | @missingparentheses

festivalofpudding | @festival-of-pudding

RileyRooin | @rileyrooin

crackers4jenn | @crackers4jenn

TheMouthKing | @themouthking

chronicallyilltrashcan | @chronicallyilltrashcan

[mattmurdocksscars]

Friendly Obligation 1/? Eventual Bucky x OFC

A/N: So I’ve talked this idea over with @tarrevizslas and @mycupoffanfiction and decided to post the first chapter! We’ll see how this goes!

Summary:  When Bucky, Steve, and Sam need a place to lay low, Sam mentions he knows someone who can help. They are introduced to Layla Stryder, an ex-Marine who knew Sam during his days as a pararescue. When she was discharged following some unfortunate events, they drifted apart. However, she can’t turn away a friend in need and offers them a place to stay.

Word Count: 1111

Warnings: Language

"In light of recent events, Bucky and I are going to look for a place to play low until we can figure out just what HYDRA's plans are. They've already made too many attempts to capture Bucky in public places and we can't risk any more people getting hurt." Steve stood at the head of a conference table that held the rest of the Avengers. HYDRA had recently been increasing their attempts at taking Bucky and the last attempt had left innocent people dead.

"That's all well and good, but where are you going to go? HYDRA would just track any place you used a credit or debit card. You would have to stay with someone and no offense, but everyone you two know is dead." Natasha spoke up from her spot. Steve knew she was right; they would have to stay off the grid in order to keep HYDRA from just following everywhere they went. He was honestly just planning on the two of them being dropped off somewhere remote and roughing it until something could be done about HYDRA. Before he could say as such, someone interrupted him.

"I know someone. They'll take us in, no questions asked. But I have to go with you guys." Sam said.

"Are you sure about this, Sam? You would be putting them in danger."

"Trust me. They thrive on it. Pack for heat, we're heading to Georgia."

The bar was almost never busy during the midday and today was no different. For Layla Stryder, owner and worker, this meant the day passed very slowly. She had already finished her inventory and was just helping the main bartender, Caitlyn, do some basic cleaning when she heard the door open. Caitlyn greeted whoever it was. Standing behind the bar with her back turned, she didn't see the 3 gentlemen walk in. Two broke off and went to sit at one of the back booths while the other approached the bar.

"What can I do for you gentlemen?" Caitlyn asked sweetly.

"Oh, I'm just here to visit an old friend." Layla felt her whole back stiffen in response to the voice. It had been years since she had heard it by it was unmistakable to her.

"I'm sorry…?" Caitlyn was questioning.

"Layla Stryder. It's been a while."

Layla tried to carefully put down the glass she had been wiping down, but it hit the counter with a sharp thunk. "You've got a lot of nerve, Sam Wilson." She turned to look at the dark-skinned man who was currently giving her a sheepish look. She pushed her red hair out of her face and looked him over with bright green eyes. "I hope you're not here for a friendly chat. I'm not really up for it."

"Ouch. I deserved that." He said the second part aside to Caitlyn who just looked completely bewildered. "You know I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't important."

Layla took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. Sam and she had parted ways on bad terms and had not spoken since she had been honorably discharged from the Marines. So, she did know that whatever he was here for was likely very serious. Looking past him and around the bar, her eyes settled on the two other men sitting in the back booth. Both were very obviously ex-military and one had cropped short blonde hair and the other had longer dark brown hair. She'd recognize their faces anywhere and turned a sharp eye on Sam. "Caitlyn, give us a moment, please? Flip the sign on the door and come back in 15." Caitlyn was shocked but quickly did as asked, slipping out the front door quietly.

Layla watched her go before focusing back on Sam. Leaning toward him, she lowered her voice and asked, deathly calm, "You want to tell me why Captain America and the Winter Soldier are sitting in my bar, Sam?"

"We need your help, Layla. We need somewhere to lay low while the rest of the Avengers try to get a read on HYDRA."

"And what? You thought I would just happily take in two super soldiers and your dumb ass because we used to be friends?"

"Yes."

Layla leaned back from him, surprised at his conviction. His face was serious and held no hint of mirth. This wasn't a joke and he really did need her help. Looking between Sam and the two in the corner, she chewed her lip as she thought. Taking them in would most likely paint a target on her back but could she really turn them away, turn Sam away, and it not eat at her conscience?

After a few minutes of silent deliberation, she looked him in the eye and muttered, "You better be fucking glad I brought the Jeep today."

Relief flooded Sam's features and he grinned. "Thank you, Layla. Really."

"Let me get my stuff and I'll take y'all to the house. You owe me, Wilson."

"You have no idea."

“Meet me out back.” Layla slipped from behind the counter and into her office. Opening a drawer in her desk, she pulled out her wallet and keys. Writing a quick note for Caitlyn and leaving it on the bar top, she headed out through the back door and met up with the three men.

“Layla, this is Steve and Bucky. Guys, this is Layla.”

Steve Rogers stepped forward and shook her hand and flashed her a smile. “Thank you for this ma’am.” He looked back at Bucky and nodded his head towards her. Bucky stepped forward and cautiously held his hand out for her to shake. She did so before nodding to somewhere behind them.

“Let’s get y’all to the house and we’ll finish up introductions there.” She told them while walking over to a four door, dark blue Jeep. The top and all the doors were currently off, and she instructed the guys to throw their bags in the back before jumping in and starting it up. AC/DC immediately began blasting through the speakers and she hastily turned it down.

“Sorry ‘bout that. It was a rough morning.” She told them with a chuckle. Hitting the road, she steered the Jeep towards home. The drive took roughly 20 minutes and ended with them pulling off onto a dirt road. After traveling down the wooded road for almost a mile, the trees opened up to reveal a dark green ranch style home with a garage that stood off to the right on its own. Parking in front of the garage, Layla hopped out of the jeep and gestured to the house.

“Welcome to home, sweet home.”

Let me know what you think! Not sure when updates will be because of work craziness, but I’ll do my best!

[hey-im-trash-and-better-than-you]

advice for new high-school freshmen!

just some stuff I learned since school is starting soon

1. Take advantage of opportunities!!: I had the opportunity to take an AP class freshman year and I’m so glad I did because it helps you get an idea of what the workload is like and you’ll be able to see if you can handle it before you take like a whole schedule full next year and then find out a few weeks in that you’re miserable. If you wanna take online classes for some required classes that you don’t want to take up schedule space with, go for it!

2. YOU DON’T NEED TO DATE!!!: you really don’t. if you need somebody else to feel validated I suggest you go get help. if you want to date, go for it, but if you don’t, don’t feel pressured to. you have your whole life to find love, and most love you find in high school generally won’t last, as well as it being a distraction to more important things. also, don’t make out in the hallways because it’s gross and to that one couple at my school who keeps making out literally on the staircase: I hope you get mononucleosis (but not really but actually stop)

3. If you guys have homecoming or other school dances, don’t be afraid to go alone!: or at least don’t be afraid to go without a date! I went by myself and ended up hanging out with my friends there and I had probably a much better time than my other friends who just had to stay with their date.

4. don't vape. DONT VAPE. D O N T V A P E. DO NOT VAPE!!!: don't vape, don’t Juul, don’t whatever the hell else, don't pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. trust me, you don’t look cool, you honestly look like an asshole, you smell like an artificial fruit factory threw up on you (which does not smell good), and if you get caught you can get in seriously deep shit. It’s also so bad for your health! don't take “healthier than a cigarette” as “this is healthy” It still has nicotine in it which can mess you up. like just because thin crust pizza is probably healthier than a deep-dish pizza, it doesn't mean it’s healthy! same goes with vaping. It’s something for people already addicted to nicotine, and as a freshman, in high school, I hope you are not addicted to nicotine.

5. SLEEP!: don’t even bother pulling all-nighters to study, because you’ll be tired the entire day, and if you don’t sleep, your brain doesn’t have time to process all that info, meaning you’ll literally forget it all by the time you get to the test. I had friends who stayed awake for days straight studying and then ended up getting some of the lowest grades I’ve ever seen. I do agree I’ve pulled all-nighters, but I’ve never felt good afterward and I’ve only done it in really dire situations (like finishing a project that was 20 percent of my exam grade)

6. EAT!: at LEAST twice a day. preferably one of those should be breakfast, but if you can’t get that in, try to eat lunch and dinner. it doesn’t have to be anything huge (i tend to eat small breakfasts (if I eat it at all) and dinners and eat a large lunch) cuz if you don’t you’ll get headaches and you’ll be distracted because you’ll be too focused on the fact that you’re hungry

7. Join a club!: or do a heavily group-oriented class. Band, Orchestra, Choir, Theatre, Debate, whatever. It’s a really good way to meet people. in my orchestra this year I made so many friends that I wouldn't have met otherwise (not to mention they can look really good during college applications a few years down the road)

8. Don’t be an asshole to your teachers. They can control your grade and your experience in their class. don’t get on their bad side. And in the end, if you fail because you weren’t listening or you kept talking in class, don’t blame it on your teachers, because they tried. and in the end, when you realize you’re going to fail, don’t go sucking up to your teachers hoping they’ll help. I was one of 3 people in my algebra class of 23 students who passed the class because we were the only three students who made an effort. 

9. I know everyone says to be yourself which you should do, but realize some hobbies have a time and a place. If you’re a furry that's cool whatever but please don’t be that weird guy in my lunch period who kept trying to tell me how much he wanted to fuck Kass from Legend of Zelda. like ok man, whatever you’re into but I'm tryna eat my nachos k.

10. start figuring out a vague idea of what you want to do in the future: you don’t need to decide exactly where you wanna work, where you want to go to college (or if you even want to go to college), what you wanna do, etc. but having an idea will make it easier to plan out your elective classes later on in your high school career.

11. If you do want to go to college, start researching! I don’t care if people tell me I started researching too early, because, in senior year when everyone is stressing out, I’ll already have everything together. Start applying to scholarships! if you happen to be near a college you may be interested in, go take a tour! it’s never too early. 

12. Start caring about your grades. seriously. these are the scores colleges will be looking at in the applications process, so sure you could slack off, but good luck getting into your dream college with a 1.5 GPA. Set goals for yourself! for example, the university I want to go to has an honors college that I want to get into and one of the eligibility requirements is that you have to have a 90 or above average, so that’s what I'm going to aim for.

13. tying back into number 8, stay on top of your assignments and participate in class! By turning in your work on time and asking questions and actually participating in class, your teachers will know that you are serious about learning and will actually try to help you when you need it. remember my sucky algebra class? I had an 89 semester average and there was no more work I could do but I really wanted a 90 average, so I just went and asked if he could bump up my grade a point so I’d have a 90, and he said yes! because I actually tried in his class.

14. You will start to have more things to do outside of school, and you will have to learn to handle them. For example, you may have a job, or you may have to go to driving school if you decide to get your drivers permit. School should be your first priority so if you can’t handle some things outside of school, don’t try to. you will get overwhelmed and it will not be good.

15. Lastly, don’t overwhelm yourself. This is just your first year of high school. It’s like the year you are expected to mess up because it’s an entirely new concept! Teachers will be more strict than they were in middle school, but this is also probably the most lenient they’ll be for the rest of your school career. Take this year to feel out the waters and ease your way into it. If you don’t start out with stellar grades it's ok! it’s way better to mess up early on and have all that time later to fix it than to mess up later and be stuck with it. 

Good luck in the next 4 years of your life!

[wickymicky]

2020 Comeback Ranking: March Update

march sucked lmao but here’s this

here’s a link to my last update: (x)

Dreamcatcher - Scream: obviously haha. when a song comes out that’s better than scream, i’ll let you know.

Cignature - Nun Nu Nan Na: i’ve felt like it should be this high the entire time but only now am i bold enough to say it

Izone - Fiesta: another bold stance but idk, is this one as hot a take as cignature? like, fiesta’s a bop right? we’re all agreed? maybe we arent lmao but i think its a bop anyway

Loona - So What: im so proud of them!!! they got their first win this month!!! yeah idk, this song is always gonna be controversial and polarizing, but i like it a lot more than i dislike it, for sure. the choreo’s not as exciting, and the stages were empty without haseul and orbits, but the song in and of itself is good, it’s gonna remain stuck in my head all year. 

Dreamcatcher - Endless Night: this song is cheesy as hell but whatever lmao. breaking every endless niiiiiiight

Cherry Bullet - Hands Up: in my last update i said “fairly simple lol this is just a weird bop” and i stand by that

NCT 127 - Kick It: at the beginning of the month i would have put this at number 2, but i havent listened to it as much lately. part of that is me finding more comfort during this quarantine nonsense by listening to girl groups and watching girl group vlogs and other content and stuff, but also part of that is just sort of the novelty wearing off a little bit, and some minor nitpicks i had becoming more prominent and hard to ignore now. tbh i still think this is in my top 3 nct 127 songs though, easily

Weki Meki - Dazzle Dazzle: it’s really hard for me to tell where i should place this. i love weki meki to death so i want it to be high, but i don’t like it as much as some other weki meki songs. i think it’s catchy, it’s weird, it’s veeeery bubblegummy (literally lol it has popping sound effects throughout it), but it’s good. it’s just a solid weki meki track, i guess. this is the song i’ve listened to the second most this year so far, apparently, but i’m not sure it’ll stay that way.

GFriend - Crossroads: i cant believe i had this at number 3 last time lol. everything i said about it still stands but i just dont think that stuff warrants number 3 anymore. i think it is an emotionally affecting song that got better every time i listened to it, and i think the stages for it were always pretty good, but you know... maybe this drop just reflects my need for more fast paced hype-up songs this past month cause those lend themselves better to escaping from the outside world haha

Itzy - Wannabe: it’s itzy and they own this 4th gen “teen crush” concept (i hate that term even though weki meki coined it and own it even more than itzy does lol), so of course it was gonna be good, but i think it’s still up for debate exactly how good it is. i dont think it’s as classic as dalla dalla or icy will go on to be. i dont even think wannabe is the best song from their mini album, lol. it’z me might be the best mini album of the year so far, tbh. i mean dont get me wrong, this song is good, and of course ive had its chorus and weird noisy production stuck in my head all month

honorable mentions (basically 11-15 except i didnt feel like writing things for these lol): Pentagon - Dr Bebe, Sunmi - Gotta Go, 3YE - Queen, Elris - Jackpot, Sejeong - Plant

and here’s a thing i’m doing for the first time this month... here’s my top 5 bsides of the year so far! its hard to compare these with title tracks since generally i listen to title tracks so much more, because theyre just like... a bigger deal, you know? i give title tracks more thought and criticism too. i’m trying to be better about listening to bsides this year though, but even still, i dont always listen to the bsides for a comeback, so this list is gonna be even more biased than my title track list. i dont care though cause like... so what? of course it’s biased lmao it’s my opinion, of course it’s subjective. anyway here it is

Dreamcatcher - Red Sun: the stages made me love this song even more and understand its aesthetic so much better, but even without that it was still one of the best bsides i’d ever heard from a group. part of me wants a Red Sun special clip, but part of me wants them to wait till Handong is back. it’ll probably never happen, but we can dream. anyway this song kills me with how good it is

Elris - This Is Me: this song slaps so fucking hard lmao. i’m not that into the dance break in the song, it kills the momentum a little bit, but damn this shit is such an adrenaline rush, i love it

Dreamcatcher - Sahara: we all joked about this song already, but seriously that special clip made it totally impossible to take this song seriously... which vastly improved it, in my opinion. this song becoming just something you headbang to and giggle about the “ra ra ra”s and the antics in the special clip made this song 10x better, and i already loved it to begin with lol. this song is such a fuckin anthem haha, a silly, powerful, just-good-dumb-fun anthem 

Itzy - That’s A No No: this song has some of the most unique production i’ve heard in a kpop song. it’s downright nightmarish, this thing sounds like a fever dream

Izone - Open Your Eyes: idk what to say about this song other than that it’s an easy song to get lost in actually there’s a tie for this spot... this song is tied with Loona - Number One: idk what to say about this song other than that it’s an easy song to get lost in

[for-fucks-sake-h]

Smooth Operator: SNEAK PEEK

I am SO excited to talk about this and just let you guys know what I’ve been working on. If you’re intrigued, please come scream at me in my inbox. 

Special thanks to the loml @yes-daddy-i-willl for being amazing and working on this with me. I love you so much!    

Later that evening, after spending nearly four hours working on her case, Y/N carried her laptop into her room to toss it on her bed as she went to take a quick shower. It was nearly 11pm when she was finished, doing her normal nighttime routine of lathering herself with daisy scented body lotion and her face moisturizer.  

She climbed into bed with wet hair to scroll through some of her social media but paused as soon as she clicked on the browser, her eyes immediately going to the little bookmark below her search bar that El labeled give me a try.  She hovered her mouse over it for a moment before clicking on it.  

She was brought to a sign up prompt asking for basic info like her name, email, age, etc. She filled in the fields and accepted the terms, her heart rate picking up a tiny bit before clicking continue only to be prompted with another set of questions.  She noticed the bottom of the page was number 2 of 6, making her huff with a shake of her head as she closed her laptop.  

She sat there for a minute, fingers tapping on the top of the computer before slowly opening it again.  She went through the rest of the questions slowly, asking her what her sexual preferences were, kinks, fantasies; questions that would help narrow down her choices of profiles and suggestions.  

The last question was a simple “What are you looking for?” with a four prompt answer, just like the others.  She clicked the last choice, I don’t know.

She really didn’t know. She was still very skeptical about the whole thing. But she accepted the terms, entered her credit card information and was met with a list of 50 initial matches.  

She started clicking on random profiles, coming across detailed pages of men describing themselves, their nationality, physical features like eye color, hair color, build.  There were lists of their favorite food, tv shows they like, books they love, just like El said. There was a section for their sexual interests, each profile listing what they were into both in real life and over the phone.  And each profile had a voice memo.  

She looked through a few of them, liking certain things from each page but no one really standing out. If she was honest with herself, she was probably taking the profile too seriously. Should she be basing her decision on the books they’re reading and the food they like as much as what they like sexually? Probably not. But she couldn’t help herself. If she was going to do this she wanted to actually be able to talk to him, build some type of connection, just a small one so that it didn’t feel so impersonal.  

She scrolled down another page when the user name Smooth Operator caught her eye, making her chuckle lightly.  She clicked on his profile and started scanning through his answers to the prompts; green eyes, brown hair, six foot. He was British, 25 years old, and enjoyed playing the guitar in his spare time.

He likes books like Rob Sheffield’s Love is a Mix Tape. Okay, that earned him a point. She went through the rest of his profile, laughing at the little quips he gave as answers. He seemed light and funny, if she could judge him based solely on his profile. She read what he liked during sex, her cheeks going warm at some of the things listed.

They seemed to be on the same page with interests. That was one of the things about Y/N though, she wasn’t into anything hardcore but she also didn’t want to just label herself vanilla either. She just couldn’t express the things she really wanted unless she knew the person, until she felt safe with them. That was one of the main reasons she didn’t like one night stands. She could never bring herself to get comfortable enough to enjoy it. The couple she had were quick, sloppy, missionary fucks that didn’t get her off and left her feeling unsatisfied physically and emotionally. She needed the emotions too.  

Smooth Operator seemed like he wanted the same thing, mentioning one of the things he liked about this site was the unique connections he’s able to build with his clients. She read over his profile two times, biting her lip as she paused her cursor over his voice memo before clicking play.  

“Hello, ‘m sure it’s probably weird to be on the receiving end of this but… If ya consider me, thank you, it would be an honor to talk with you. If not, I hope you find whatever it is that you’re looking fo’. Cheers.”  

Her pulse picked up just at the few simple sentences. His voice was deep, so deep and he spoke so slowly. Something that would probably take her 10 seconds to say took him 15, but she liked it. He seemed unhurried, and sweet, and actually keen on conversation - not just having a wank at the sound of someone's voice and being done with it - so she clicked the accept button beside his username before she could talk herself out of it.   

Her heart fluttered at the text field immediately popping up.

Thank you for choosing me!  -H

***

Ask Box / Masterlist 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

40, 47, 59, 62, 76

lmao hell yeah thanks for All this support i love it!! quastions

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

really idk i feel like even our schools’s Antics were pretty par for the course and i was just sitting in the corner reading the whole time basically......trying to think if anything wild happened in college but even then it was p similar. well you know what, whatever donors covered the majority of the cost of the school’s black box theater being renovated apparently Stipulated that every other year a rodgers and hammerstein production be put on. absolute freaks. my roommate/friend and their then-boyfriend, the one mormon i have Knowingly Known in my life, were in pirates of penzance (sic?) together. hilarious

47. favorite type of cheese?

i like cheddar and like, parmesan, smoked gouda.....let’s get that shit Sharp!!! and hard lmao

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

idk i’d be like an npc just doing their weird thing on their own. i’ve never played pokemons unless you count pokemons Go but i think about the famed “i like shorts they’re comfy and easy to wear” npc kid. like, yeah. i feel the same. and would say similar bullshit nobody asked about

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh god.........recognizing the self through the relatable characters :|

well let’s just talk about the wrol roles right off b/c the characters that Most occupy my gay thoughts (which is to say: my general thoughts) will inevitably get priority when it comes to Remembering things

1) whom among us doesn’t relate to jared kleinman........will roland emerging from relative obscurity and coming for our entire fucking lives like the goddamn legend he is. it’s tough b/c it’s like, oh well alana is relatable too, so is evan unfortunately sorry evan, and in ways i might ~usually act~ like one of those two more than jared but. no. it is Jared who wins the relatability contest, and we all get to be beautifully haunted by it forever

2) leaning hard into winston even with the few glimpses of him b/c somehow will Cannot play an allistic cishet. and this is even More of a case where maybe i don’t much have winston’s demeanor.......even without winston being a beacon of confidence, he has more confidence lmao. and he has that ability to just Be Himself in a situation which, i wish i had that moxie lmao. i am a lot more [usually trying to be accommodating wayyyy harder than i should], booo......even though he’s clearly not great at conflict considering how it doesn’t take Too much to put him out, it’d be pretty impossible for me to be all “called them hacks and lame” or carry out a very irritated monologue in front of four people in the first place lmao. but who knows. and it’s more in the details of like, oh no winston’s the odd one out even though he hasn’t really Done Anything, but we all ~understand~ why he Deserves it.........his expectation / treating it basically as Fact that he will disappoint people.......the [weird] [offputting] behaviors and his way of speaking in What he Says and How He Says It seeming wrong to people.......like it’s only 15-ish min of content that we have here and we don’t have the least info about will’s own thoughts on the character but it’s like. how is this such an iconic Gay Autistic Quant b/c these vibes are so rare. and i appreciate that he can be ~difficult~ lmao. same with jared though i didn’t mention it. i can be difficult!! love it for us...

3) briony atkins from murder of bindy mackenzie as a character who Does act more like how i Usually Act Like lmao.....god we’re only on three i forgot there was seven of these. and yet i know there’s probably at least 2 dozen characters who could make this list and i just won’t think of most of them unless directly reminded......but anyways yeah i mean in person i mostly do Not want attention unless i feel comfortable enough / in my element or whatever. especially if it’d be some situation like “sitting in a group of randos” lol. i mean it depends b/c i also can sometimes be ~on~ in terms of Masking and trying to be like Haha I’m Social I’m Regular and i def engage in Nervous Chatter sometimes, but like, very often it’s like god don’t talk to me and i don’t want to talk either.....and then yeah people Will be surprised that like, idk, i’m opinionated as shit and idk that i Enjoy Things / Have Thoughts And Feelings coz the assumption i guess is that you must simply have nothing to say. so the dismissal of this person who seemingly has nothing to contribute and must be Boring rings true lmfao.....but then of course it’s also important that her personality Under that is the one getting mistaken for emily’s lol cuz yeah At Heart i am sure of that dramatic / intense / excitable type Sometimes. but it takes some excavation before i am like “oh i can engage in my actual self” and like weeks and months to get comfortable w/ people and i’m always suspicious that anyone actually would enjoy it and i’m not too much......i am a motormouth actually and have something to say about any and everything and like to Have Fun Here but like. idk i come off as boring and can be Notably Quiet lmao

4) oscar martinez from the office is weirdly [Haha Same] sometimes lmfao. sort of keeps to himself but also has to pipe up with Opinions and Pedantry and the kind of Drama of a restrained theatre gay. some deleted scene from an episode where during an interview clip of Jimothy in a theater lobby and you have oscar call from across the group in that [wearied Ugh God] way of ‘jim, they’re remaking ___’ while jim just kind of gives a cursory “wow gosh” or whatever and like, i sure don’t have lots of Theatre Opinions but that “oh jeez i have a Take on this and have to share it with someone” vibe is like hahaha yeah.....it’s funny in the “the gang goes to the ice rink for a third of the ep” bit where you just catch oscar doing [ice skating turn] with some solemn intensity.......the “here’s a question nobody’s asking: is this worth it” quote.........way at the end where there’s a whole deal with one of the indoor plants and he’s like “why is it a He” @ the collective gendering of the houseplant lmfao.......i love the one thing where he and pam and uhh toby right? have the Finer Things book club or whatever and jim wants to join just like ~ironically~ and pam has to tell him that oscar doesn’t want him to join b/c he’s not going to take it seriously and use it as a Jokes Vehicle. and then you get the scene at the end where jim Is basically doing that and they’re just like taking it out of him and oscar’s all very seriously like “did you get it all out of your system” lmfao like yeah, earnest members only lmao.....the thing where he gets mad at angela’s like Jazz Musician Posed Babies posters all “it’s kitsch it Destroys art” lmaoooo and in a totally different season all “this is the problem with debate” over the completely inconsequential “is [whichever actress, i forget] Hot” “”””debate””””.......the whole tendency to get involved and always have a take to get across.....opinionated-sometimes-to-the-point-of-petty central. also that he’s the canon gay, are there even any others? anyways and as the us office’s spiritual successor i’ll add on to this by uh what’s the name of billy eichner’s character on parks and rec? it’s craig right. that Self-Powered Intensity is very #me as well.

5) augh god........im like lmfao shit who represents my Hater Club side. hmmm. oh no wait you know what. totally different but i love Prof Beatrice Hotchkiss in the trt nancy drew pc game. she’s holed up in her room writing all the time and just is weird when you try to talk to her all like no i won’t open the door, bring me food, do this Research, bring me my Ski Boots i guess......and then when you do meet her it’s all at like post-midnight in the lounge and she’s all like, encouraging you as a Night Owl and your investigative curiosity and all and i’m like oh word yeah being up in the dead of night is the shit. she’s just weird and passionate and this is another character i might not Act hardly at all like but who i vibe with lmfao. hotchkiss was the supportive adult in my life

6) remembering how hotchkiss is a historian made me think of academia which made me think of like, once again with “these vibes are So So Rare” i really ought to put the wrol role of Nato on the list cuz like. that essential representation of “gets gr8 grades but isn’t really ~academic~ / doesn’t care about that and really just cares about Hanging W Friends and [real specific interests]” is like wow damn that’s the Mood. coz like to an extent i can always Relate to the ~overachiever~ types a la the [nerd character gets all-A’s and other nerd shit] deal, but there’s eventually the issue of like.....those characters like bindy mackenzies and alana becks Care about their achievements (not exclusively as some ppl would have it 9_9) and are Studious whereas i always hated school and was a godawful student in terms of Habits and always got good grades b/c the devil was with me or something and like people will think i must have tried real hard and dedicated myself to Academics and stuff and it’s like.........no................not at all hardly, sure i did my hw every night but at like 11:29 pm or studied for a midterm at lunch right before the class lol or flipped through a lil bit of the sat study guide the night prior.........the “low-effort dumbass who Academically Excels Anyhow” representation is so crucial like!! i run into a wall when it’s the Good Grades nerd character who is real studious and focused and stuff like. couldn’t be me. meanwhile the “naturally weird + probably some ‘deliberate’ weirdness” and “likes animals” and “most likely to just wanna Roll With It” and “shitty focus lol” and “non sequiturs” and “without [activity] i do nothing” is all like....ahahahohoho..........nato rly got to make this list. and honorable mention for Wrol Jeremy. again: whom doesn’t relate!!!!!!!!

7) damnit i know there’s So many answers to [characters i relate to] and whom cover like, more particular Facets here but i’m struggling lmao. Uh. like i’m like, who’s the Hot Mess / continually evolving disaster characters i vibe with......who’s the peak despresso detached Haters rep......who embodies the solo production lifestyle........dammit you know what lol i tend to Feel for like, the background ~nobodies~ who might just get like totally destroyed in some movie with life or death stakes just to like, show how much danger our heroes / Important Complex Protags are. same w/ jeremy not feeling like the Hero / the one who the story’s about / the cool guy / player 1 / etc etc etc i’m like oo i’d be the npc who doesn’t really do anything, i’d be the rando getting blown away in the background of someone else’s story. on a totally different note another shoutout / honorable mention to wybie from the coraline lmfao one of the best characters invented from thin air for an adaptation......tangentially relevant b/c he’s entirely here to support the protag / not his story at all, just here to help and prompt interactions / exposition really.......but love that [weird loner kid who’s best friend is a cat and annoys the other kid and doesn’t Get it and has specific interests and entertains himself and just is doing weird shit around here tf dude lmao killing it] like, #mood. #lifestyle. less dismal to relate to than the bg person who dies......his counterpart who totally dies is somewhat fleshed out / given Investment so it doesnt Really count as [background Nobody who’s really just fodder for “defining the stakes / threat level”] Character Concept

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

latkes maybe......Yummy

[rilldineth]

So a friend of mine told me that given that we are now in 2020, it will be fun if I did a top 20 ships of the past decade for me and boy, did I thought was a good idea and I have decided, why not right? I will be listing them here and...if followers decide to read it...well...

You will quickly notice that probably that most, if not all the ships fall on the following categories: a) rare-ships that are obv not canon; b) ships that are obviously crack; c) ships that had wasted potential, the ones hinted but never happened or briefly happened in canon and writers decided to fuck up. There’s also only one...one RL ship and I am ashamed yet not, but had to list it because I spent a long time hung up on it so don’t judge me.

So yes list...

Before the list, no list is complete without some honorable mentions, these are mostly ships I either got into the hype to recently (not being dedicated for years as the one I will list) or had my fancy then lost it.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Charlastor from Hazbin Hotel (recently got into it)

Clack from Final Fantasy VII

Cloud x Squall from Final Fantasy/KH series.

Hayffie from The Hunger Games.

TodoMomo from Boku Hero no Academia.

Gency from Overwatch series ( on and off )

RinMako from Free!

Terraqua from Kingdom Hearts series.

TOP 20 SHIPS OF THE PAST DECADE

20. Spuhura - Spock x Nyota Uhura (Star Trek original and reboot): Again this was another ship that I liked, since the original series, while everyone was Spirk this and that, I was like,’’yas, yas give me the sweet, sweet Spock and Uhura interactions’ and I was happy the reboot hooked them up, even if that ended dubiously but for a glorious moment, I had it.

19. Swarkles - Barney Stinson x Robin  Scherbatsky (HIMYM): This is one of those ships I am bitter, bitter and salty about, there are more in this list in fact next spot is another one. But I loved it and I did think they complimented each other better than the wet noodle they stuck Robin with, they took the time to know the other, grown separately and then together, the episode where Barney proposed to Robin gave me all the feels and it was so sweet, and then fuck the writers deciding to do what they did. It’s no wonder the finale of this show is so hated.

18. Lotura - Lotor x Allura (Voltron Legendary Defender): When they announced a new reboot to Voltron I didn’t think much of it. I had fancied Lotor x Allura in the original series, as dubious as that was, but then I started to watch this Netflix thing and there was something between them, something more tangible and I was happy. It was this strong woman with an equally strong man encouraging her strength and not putting her in the box of the exotic pretty princess, like a certain dude, and wanted to know her mind and interests, they discovered things together and for a brief moment knew peace and I was here so happy that we were getting something good and then fuck the writers again that decided ‘Nah bro, you’re not getting it’ and you know to fuck off again. I will always have fan fiction I guess.

17. VinTi - Vincent Valentine x Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII series): This is a ship that I think started to like during my second playthrough of the game, I always figured the both could work, both having loved people that for one reason or another couldn’t fully love them back (Lucrecia due to damn guilt and Cloud because of Aerith) and both were mature enough to fit together, I just like them okay.

16. Helsa - Hans x Elsa (Frozen): Truly, I have never made it a secret that I really dislike this movie, I truly do. The only good things were Hans (which I am still huh at the ‘turns out he is evil’ I still call trolls) and Elsa (because of her damn powers) and then the next step was shipping them and honestly, he should have gone for the older sister lmao, they make more sense and there have very nice fiction out there.

15. Yuzuvier - Javier Fernandez x Yuzuru Hanyu (Figure Skating): Ahh, we have reached my dreaded and dark secret only RPF fancy. Be it broship or more, I always liked the friendship and camaraderie these two skaters had with each other, they were rink mates and rivals but above all friends. I was kokoro break when Yuzuru was telling Javi that he couldn’t do it without him and stop it you two. I just like them, they are wholesome.

14. Victuuri - Viktor Nikiforov x Yuuri Katsuki (Yuri!!! On Ice): And here we have another precious figure skating duo when I started to watch this series it was only because it was a figure skating anime and I love figure skating, I never expected to see a wholesome and wonderful healthy relationship to explode in front of me. The relationship between Viktor and Yuuri is just so lovely, so mature, they both worked through issues, grew from them and accepted them even and I can’t I love it. (Special mention here to Yurio x Mila, as is another ship I love from this series and so underrepresented).

13. Jonerys - Jon Snow x Daenerys Targaryen (ASOIAF/GoT): Regardless of the stupidity committed in the series, I have shipped them since the books, because I can read in between the lines and there are too many parallels between them and their journeys, ones that at will some point collide and bring them together in a way that will be worth it, so better make it count George. 

12. Rhaegar Targaryen x Lyanna Stark (ASOIAF/GoT): Yes, mea culpa, I love tis ship and no one can shame me for liking it and boy has people tried to do so. Were these two smart of escaping like that and not saying a thing? Nope, they were so not. Was Brandon smart going to Kings Landing, knowing there was a crazy king with a penchant of burning people and demanding his heir's head? Nope, that was probably the stupidest move of all. Do I want to believe they loved each other? Why not? Martin has a penchant for tragic love stories, I know this ship is problematical for some, but I still love it and if you see spot 10 here, well I have varied tastes.

11. Soriku - Riku x Sora (Kingdom Hearts series): Come on, this is a given. Prior to Kairi appearing, it was clear Sora was Riku’s world and Riku’s was Sora, they were attached to the hip, the rivalry for Kairi more felt like Riku being jealous of Kairi and wanting Sora’s attention back. Then we have KH2 where Sora spent the whole damn game being all ‘Riku, Riku!’ and Riku doing his damn best to help him from the shadows, ashamed to be seen. DDD was more Riku protecting him and Sora leaning on him, even KH3 had Sora wanting to find and reach Riku, and then Riku going once again to find him by the end, so I am sorry but if there was a love story written here it was between these two. 

10. Hannigram - Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham (Hannibal): Quite honestly, from all the things I ship, they are probably what one will consider the most toxic one I guess, which fair considering one part of the ship is a charismatic yet cannibalistic serial killer. But there was something in the way this relationship was developed by Fuller and brilliantly brought out by Mads and Hughs that just hooked me, their soft moments, their violent ones, it just somehow worked for me. I guess this is also one of the few canon ships that I have, funny enough.

09. Rivetra - Levi Ackerman x Petra Ral (Shingeki no Kyojin): Who will have thought that a series about human eating titans was going to give me one of my most everlasting and also shortlived OTP’s. Years can pass by and I will still love this ship, my heart will still believe there was something more between them, something that was realized or something that wasn’t, I don’t know, but I will forever love it and even though years have passed since she died, I always enjoy the hints here and there that he still remembers her or hints where we are supposed to do so.

08. Squinoa - Squall Leonhart x Rinoa Heartilly (Final Fantasy VIII): People can say whatever the fuck they want ‘the love story was rushed’ ‘we hate Rinoa’ (fuck you btw) but it doesn’t change the fact that Squall fell in love with her and that Rinoa helped him to open up, to not take things for granted and Squall taught her to be even stronger and conquer her fears, they helped each other grow and it’s what matters in the end.

07. Feanor x Nerdanel (Tolkien): This is probably, from all the romantic relationships that Tolkien has gifted us, which I have loved the most and held my attention the longest. They have the happy times, the ones that were full of joy when they met and fell in love and had their children, then we have the tumultuous times when he became too obsessed with this craft, the separation when he left with their kids leaving her behind in her pain and then their possible reencounter when he leaves the Halls of Mandos and how they might deal with it.

06. ItaHina - Itachi Uchiha x Hinata Hyuuga (Naruto): Both the heads of two of the most important clans of their villages, both with heavy expectations upon their shoulders that nearly broke them, only one was talented from the start and the other had to learn, yet they are also similar. Both love their siblings to a fault, sacrificing so much for them and their happiness, both seem to hate conflict yet know is necessary and both are devoted and loyal to a fault, they would have suited each other wonderfully, in an AU probably they would have gotten engaged, who knows, but it would have been wonderful.

05. SessKik - Sesshoumaru x Kikyou (Inuyasha): A ship that could have been but that we didn’t have. This is a ship that has been with me for years and I don’t plan to let it go, they were the best players (in a sense) in that game against Naraku, also probably the strongest, both level headed and smart, not easily intimidated and calculating, together they would have been quite a formidable force and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see that.

04. Bethyl - Daryl Dixon x Beth Greene (The Walking Dead): Another wasted potential and gone so soon, not to mention forever salty at the waste. The way they were being developed promised so much, in the few time he was with her, well, she taught him to have faith and it’s something that apparently still shows from times to times (I am not sure as I stopped with this show) and imagine how it will have gone if they had more time. Just a waste.

03. Romanogers - Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanov (Marvel/MCU): I have been shipping them for years, like honestly, and when the MCU was showing me the seeds of potentiality I was happy, not even that stupidity with Bruce killed my hope, as they still had this steady relationship, he trusted her and she trusted him, something that she couldn’t say of many, they had each others back and took care of the other...but again another wasted potential right there.

02. Huddy - Gregory House x Lisa Cuddy (House MD): I spent years, kind of, season after season watching the delicious and lovely UST between these two characters, watching them snark and then help each other, watching the ‘won’t they will they’ dance, waiting for the moment when these two will finally collide and my lord was it glorious when they finally did, and I was eager to see where it went, as they both seemed to be in relatively good places, but no once again forbid the writers to stop House from being self-destructive and another ship I had waited years was ruined.

01. Terrence "Terry" Graham Grandchester x  Candice "Candy" White Adley (Candy Candy): And this is still my most important ship of the decade, I was forever bitter they never ended together and that their authors decided to make them suffer so much, but then Final Story came and all clues were pointing that aha they did found the other again and ended together as they were supposed to be, and before anyone says shizz, I did manage to read the novel and I do believe all hints were there to let us all know the identity of her husband was Terry and I am so happy.

And there it is, all the ships of the decade for me lol. Next stop, I should maybe make a list of mythos ships I like lmao.

[talltree-writes]

New Recruit

Summary: Percy Jackson is just trying to return to normal life after the War, but when mortals start noticing things the Mist is supposed to hide, how will he keep his identity hidden? Especially with Peter Parker getting suspicious of him. 

Genre: Mild angst, but it’s mostly just Percy helplessly trying to keep his identity secret

Pairing: None

Warnings: Panic Attack, language, fighting, 

Word Count: 5.7k

Author’s Note: This is not canon compliant for anything post- Infinity War. I started (and finished lmao) writing this before Endgame or FFH came out. It’s also not compliant with anything post- Blood of Olympus. Also very sorry about the lack of warnings before, I’m still figuring out Tumblr formatting/etiquette. 

~~~~

Percy Jackson stood in the boys' bathroom at school when he majorly fucked up. In hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have been Iris Messaging Chiron in there, but it was the one no one ever used and it was during class anyway, so he figured it was perfectly fine. Until it wasn't.

Chiron listened attentively as Percy spoke. "Yeah, so I was thinking that this weekend I could teach some of the younger kids-"

"What the-?" Percy heard a voice behind him and quickly swiped through the mist and whirled around, already drawing his pen out of his pocket. Standing there, jaw practically on the floor, was Peter Parker, one of the Honors students at Percy's school. Percy put Riptide away.

Percy gaped for a second. What was he supposed to tell him? Did he play it off like there was nothing there, or did he fess up? He'd met Peter before, knew he wouldn't tell a soul if he was asked not to. But there was still the danger of a mortal knowing about Percy's world.

Before Percy could say anything, though, Peter shook his head and turned toward the door. It was then, when the light his face at a new angle, that Percy realized that Peter Parker had been crying.

He didn't hesitate. Whether he had seen something or not, there was something going on with this kid, and he was going to do his best to help him. He'd seen too many half-bloods look like this after the wars. "Wait!" He called out. "Are you okay?"

Peter stopped and hesitated, as if he wasn't sure what to tell Percy. Then, stiffly, like his body was acting against his will, he turned around as a fresh set of tears fell from his eyes. Percy inched closer and noticed the boy's erratic breathing and shaking body. A panic attack. Percy could definitely help with that.

Peter looked like he was going to run away, but his feet seemed uncooperative. "Hey, shh, it's okay." Percy said, keeping his voice calm in an attempt to calm the panicking boy. "Let's try some breathing exercises. Why don't you try to match my breathing?" Percy suggested softly. He breathed in deep and exhaled slowly, watching Peter try to do the same. "Is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder?" He asked. He knew from personal experience that it was better to ask first.

Peter nodded, and Percy placed a hand on his shoulder and sat with him against the wall. As soon as they sat down, Percy slid his hand across the boy's back so that his arm was around him.

They continued the breathing exercises until Peter's breath slowed down. However, it wasn't until Percy felt him pull away that he removed his arm and spoke again. "Do you want to talk about it? I know that it sometimes helps." He offered. There was a moment of silence and Percy thought he had said something stupid. Who was he to barge into this guy's life and demand to know what caused a panic attack like that? But after another shaky breath, Peter started talking.

"Do you remember last May when the aliens invaded again?" Percy didn't know there had been a first time, but then again, Peter didn't know that he had been kidnapped by a goddess with a temporary split-personality disorder, so he kept quiet. "Something happened that I really can't talk about, but since then I've had pretty back attacks because of it."

Percy couldn't help be a little suspicious. Could he not talk about it because of how scarring it was? Or had he been told not to? Was he keeping some sort of secret? He dropped it though. No use stressing him out when he had finally calmed down. He'd just have to figure that out later.

After a few more seconds, Peter seemed to come to his senses. Looking uncomfortable, he spoke again. "Thanks for helping me, uh, Percy? That's your name right?" He asked, looking up at Percy with large, brown eyes. Percy nodded. "Oh thank God, that would have been really awkward it it wasn't. It was really nice of you to help me, though, especially since you're a senior, and I'm only a sophomore, and, honestly, I get the impression that most of you wouldn't have taken the time to do that for someone, especially an underclassman. You're really good at it though. Why is that, by the way? Do you have panic attacks yourself? It's cool if you do, I mean, not cool, but it's alright. I get it, obviously. But what were you doing when I walked in? What was that-"

Percy cut him off before he could ramble anymore. "Don't mention it, dude. I get it, and it sucks. I hope the rest of your day goes better than it has so far, but I need to get to practice." He couldn't let Peter get too far into his questions, and he was definitely remembering the Iris Message from earlier.

He quickly got up, making sure not to displace the younger student too much. Grabbing his bag, he pushed open the door and made his way into the hall. As he did so, the final bell rang, and he slipped into crowd, successfully hiding from the head poking out of the boys' bathroom. He thought.

Coming up beside his mortal friend, Charlie, at their neighboring lockers, Percy busied himself with grabbing the books he needed for homework and his gym bag. He heard the locker beside him slam shut while he was in the middle of shoving his Pre-Cal textbook in his bag and he anticipated the questions he was bound to have to answer. He may or may not have asked to use the bathroom 15 minutes before his Marine Biology class was over without coming back.

"So what was that?" Percy glanced over and saw Charlie's left eyebrow raised as he stood with his arms crossed.

Percy tried to play innocent. "What was what?"

Rolling his eyes, Charlie replied. "C'mon, man, are you okay? You were gone for so long that Mrs. Pruta was worried you had gotten sick or something."

Percy had done well at hiding the details about his life. It was for the best, the fewer people who knew about his world, the better. "Nope, not sick. I just helped out an underclassman and it took a little longer than I meant to. I'll talk to her on Monday. In the meantime, did you possible get the homework for me?" He shot his friend a hopeful grin as grabbed his bag.

"One of these days, I'm just going to let you suffer." Percy's face morphed into a pout. Charlie rolled his eyes again. "Read 13.4 and do the questions at the end by Monday morning. Turn it in online."

"You're too good to me." Percy grinned again. Charlie scoffed his affirmation.

They started walking toward the locker room. In the corner of his eye, Percy saw Peter glance his way, but head in the opposite direction toward the front doors. "So, what are you doing this weekend? Jacob, Ren, and I were thinking of doing something, and you should come. It feels like forever since we've all done something." Percy grimaced internally. Since he had come back, he'd spent as much time with his mom or at camp as possible, which left little time to hang out with his friends from school.

"Sorry, Charlie, I'm going back to camp for the weekend. They still need some help putting things back together." Which was true. They were still trying to get everything picked up after the war. Since it was the school year, most of the campers had gone home, plus the two wars had depleted their numbers anyway.

Charlie pushed open the door. "They ever tell you what happened?"

Remembering what Peter had said, Percy replied, "Uh, yeah, it was that alien attack from last year. It really did a number on the camp."

"That makes sense. I mean, I thought it only affected the city, but I guess any news about the country would be drowned out by everything else. Wonder why they wouldn't tell you that in the first place, though."

Percy shrugged. "I have no idea." After that, Charlie didn't have a chance to bring it up again. His attention was whisked away by the other runners as they started talking about something or another. Percy didn't really care. He grabbed his clothes and, as discreetly as possible, sneaked into one of the stalls to change. There would be too many questions if anyone saw his scars, and Percy really didn't want to relive them anyway.

He walked back in to the slam of locker doors and the laughter of his teammates. At his locker, he threw his other clothes in before joining the wave of boys headed toward the track to start warming up.

As Coach put them through drills, Percy allowed each footstep to help him forget the sophomore who saw his Iris Message.

Peter knew there was something up with Percy. For one, he had pointedly avoided nearly all of Peter's questions, secondly, whatever he had been doing in the bathroom when he walked in was definitely not normal. Besides that, Peter really didn't have any solid evidence that Percy was... abnormal, except for his intuition that said Percy had dangerous potential.

When Percy left the bathroom, Peter kept the tall, dark head in sight even as he kept his distance. This wasn't the first time Peter had to follow someone suspicious. He hid behind a set of lockers and tried to listen in while Percy was talking to his friend, but there was too much noise around him. When he started heading toward the locker room, Peter headed to the front steps with the kids who waited for their parents to pick them up and texted Mr. Stark.

To: Mr. Stark From: Spidey gonna be late today. could you look up everything you can on percy jackson? he seems okay, but theres something weird about him

To: Spidey From: Mr. Stark Yah ill let u kno wat i find

To: Spidey From: Mr. Stark b careful

Peter smiled at the last message. The two had developed something of a friendship since the Vulture situation, and Peter was even starting to look to Tony as something of a father figure, even though he would never admit it.

He waited in front of the school for a full three hours while the team practiced. Eventually, he moved to a nearby alley to change into his suit and wait on the roof for Percy. Finally, the entire track team filed out of the doors and started heading home, and Peter quickly caught sight of him.

As Peter trailed Percy, he got a call from Mr. Stark. "Hey, Mr. Stark! Got any news for me?"

"Yeah, kid." Mr. Stark responded, "I did what you asked and pulled up everything I could on this Percy Jackson guy and he's pretty interesting. First of all, his name is Perseus. Like, who even names their kid that anymore? Second of all, there is no record of a father. Like, none. He's not listed on the kid's birth certificate, there are no pictures of his oddly hot mom with a man around the right time. There's just... nothing. Oh, and he's been kicked out of so many schools it's not even funny. He even had a near miss at Goode when he caused some sort of explosion a couple of years ago. Not to mention, his ex-step-dad has been missing for six years and he's been the feature of a manhunt. He also went missing last year for a long time but was spotted in Europe a few times Kid, I think he's bad news. Keep an eye on him, he could be a threat."

From where he was perched on the edge of a building, Peter felt his Spidey-sense go off as a woman approached Percy. From his angle, he couldn't see what the older teen's facial expression, but his whole body tensed. Suddenly the woman launched herself at Percy, skin melting away to reveal a donkey leg and a metal leg. Her hair turned to flame and her already pale skin grew even paler. She honestly looked like a bad villain.

"Hang on, Mr. Stark. There's something happening with Percy. Someone or something just attacked him. I'm going to see if I can-" Just as Peter reached his arm out to shoot a web, Percy pulled a large bronze sword from seemingly nowhere. The two below began to fight in the middle of the city sidewalk while a crowd formed around them.

Peter's vision was doing crazy things. Sometimes it seemed like the woman was a normal lady, and sometimes she was a b-movie villain. "Peter? Pete? C'mon, kid, are you alright?" Mr. Stark's voice overcame the confusion in Peter's mind.

"Huh? Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just a little confused. I'll call you back when I figure out what's going on."

Mr. Stark grunted his agreement. "Stay safe, kid." Click. The call ended and Peter turned his full attention to the duo below him. He crawled closer, clinging to a nearby building, until he could catch some of what they were saying.

Well, hissing, in the case of the woman. "I will have your blood, Perseus!"

Percy was fending her off with some effort, and through gritted teeth, said "Fat chance, Kelly! Braccas meas vescimini!" Peter had barely passed Latin, but he knew enough to know Percy had said something about pants.

Peter watched as Percy feinted right with his sword, and 'Kelly' fell for it, going to guard her left side. Meanwhile, Percy struck her right side and sliced clean through her abdomen. He watched in horror as the woman, instead of falling into two halves, she disintegrated into a golden dust that blew away in the wind.

Breathing heavy, Percy was finally able to glance around at his audience. "Shit." He muttered, bracing himself for the attacks. Instead, he was met with loud speculation.

"What was that thing?"

"Thank God he stopped it!"

"Who is he?"

"Do you think he's a new Avenger?"

"Maybe that's who Spiderman is!"

"Hey, kid, are you Spiderman?"

"No, you dumbass! Spiderman is up there!" The crowd turned to face Peter, and Percy took the opportunity to slip out and run for it. Spiderman settled the crowd as best he could before taking off after him. Maybe Percy wasn't a threat, but he certainly knew about one. Peter needed to call Mr. Stark back.

"Hey Karen?"

"Yes?" The A.I. replied.

"Call Mr. Stark back." There was a ringing in his suit and then-

"What did you find out, kid?"

As he ran across rooftops, Peter suddenly remembered that Percy was the fastest long distance runner on the team. "Only that Percy can fight and he knows about something that we don't. What do you want me to do?"

There was a moment of silence as Mr. Stark thought before he answered. "I'm looking at the footage from your suit, and I see what you mean. Bring him in. We need to talk to him, figure out what he knows, and maybe recruit him. I'll send Happy to your location to pick you two up. Oh, and I don't think I need to tell you this, but until we've made a decision about him, keep your mask on. We don't need him knowing about your identity if he's not trustworthy, especially since he goes to school with you." Another pause. "Good work, kid." He finished with a grunt.

The two hung up as Peter watched Percy check over his shoulder and slow down. As he did so, Peter slid down upside down on a web behind him. When he turned back around, Peter was right there, "Hi!" The older teen jumped back a foot.

"What the- where did you come from?" He exclaimed.

"The rooftops. Y'know, you sure were easy to sneak up on." Peter responded in an even tone. "Oh yeah, and after whatever that was that just happened, I'm going to need you to come with me. I have some friends that want to talk to you."

Percy immediately became defensive, hand edging towards his pocket, as if to pull his sword back out. "What kind of friends?" He asked, suspiciously.

"Woah, man, calm down. I'ts just some guys like you and me. They've never seen you before and they want to make sure you're on our side. Which, I mean, based on that fight, I'm pretty sure you are. But y'know, they want to check and blah, blah, blah." Peter shrugged, still upside down.

Obviously caught off guard, the look on his face told Peter that something was terribly wrong. "You saw that?"

Peter answered slowly, trying not to further panic the already nervous-looking Percy. "Yeah, everyone saw it. Didn't you hear what they were saying? They wanted to know if you were me or a new Avenger or something."

All the blood seemed to rush from Percy's face. He started muttering things; he spoke in such a low voice that Peter only caught some of it, even with his enhanced senses. "Shouldn't happen... the Mist.... something's wrong... gotta call Annabeth... have to figure out...' None of it made much sense to Peter who sighed and interrupted him.

"Listen, pal, we've got places to be. Superheroes don't like to be kept waiting."

"Superheroes?"

Peter continued to assure him. "Yeah, you know, Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, those guys! They just want to talk to you and figure out what you're about."

Understanding crossed Percy's face. "Oh, those guys who got into that massive fight in Berlin a few months ago. Are you sure they're superheroes? They seemed to do more bad than good..."

"Yes I'm sure. They also happened to save New York a few times. And, y'know, the world."

Percy rolled his eyes and muttered "Haven't we all..."

Before Peter could reply, Happy pulled up in one of Mr. Stark's cars. Peter flipped down, detached from his web, and guided Percy to the car. "So Happy, the driver, is just gonna take us upstate, and then the Avengers are going to talk to you." Percy only nodded, guard up and features determined. Peter could already tell that, without a miracle, getting answers out of him would not be easy.

The car ride was especially awkward. Stilted conversation occupied the trip. With neither willing to give up too much information pertaining to their identities, talking consisted of questions and short answers.

The longer Peter sat near the guy, the more curious he became about him. There was something more to Percy, an air of both power and trauma that rolled off of him, similar to Steve or Bucky, and Peter wanted to know why . Why did he seem so powerful? Why did he know to fight like he did? Why was Percy so calm around a kid having a panic attack? Why, why, why?

After the awkward drive, the car pulled in front of the compound. Mr. Stark, Black Widow and Captain America were waiting out front. "Thanks, Happy!" Peter called as the two got out of the car. He was answered with a wave before Happy drove back to the garage.

When the trio saw them, Peter awkwardly waved, and Captain America turned to Mr. Stark, shocked. "This is the unknown we need to talk to? He's just a kid!"

"Rogers, you didn't see the footage. And it's less that is the unknown and more that he knows of the unknown. There's obviously a threat we haven't known about in the world, and he does." Natasha explained.

Percy piped up, a seemingly easy grin on his face. "I mean, I'll tell you what I can, but I'm really not supposed to tell anyone anything." If Peter hadn't been in the car with him, he wouldn't know what the smile hid. Percy was nervous. About what, Peter didn't know. Perhaps that he would say something that he didn't mean to, but maybe something else.

Mr. Stark responded, as if he wasn't expecting the kid to respond. "Uh, no. You'll tell us everything, and once you do, you can stop fighting whatever it is and let the big boys handle it."

Percy's smile grew. "We'll see." He walked forward, right between Captain America and Black Widow and entered the compound. Glancing back at the stunned trio, he asked, "So are we going to do this or...?"

Percy was terrified, and he had no idea why. Okay, maybe 'terrified' wasn't the right word. Nervous, anxious, paranoid. Maybe those fit better. And he obviously had no reason to be. He had faced monsters, gods and primordials and come out mostly okay, a conversation with so-called superheroes should be a breeze. He had made it five years without revealing his secret to mortals, he could go another 60 minutes. Sure, yes, absolutely. He could do this.

He could not do this.

He had only gotten in the car with Pete- 'Spiderman' because he needed to know how Peter Parker and all of those civilians had seen the empousa. They couldn't all be clear-sighted, which left no other option than something had happened to the Mist.

They led him to a small room, very similar to those interrogation rooms you see on T.V.. Spiderman was ordered to stay behind the glass, so Peter could assume it was double sided and he was watching from outside. None of the adults sat, so neither did he. They congregated around the table, Percy on one side, the trio on the other. The two men, Percy vaguely recalled the larger one from the detention videos they had started making him watch recently and the American history books Annabeth showed him, backed up to the corners of the room and allowed the woman to take charge.

"Have a seat." She gestured to the chairs. Neither of them sat. "Okay, let's start with the simpler stuff. What was that thing that attacked you in the street?"

Percy thought for a second about his answer. "It was a threat to me."

The woman smiled sweetly, "Listen, we're not going to get you in trouble. And we can keep secrets- we've all got them."

Percy kept his gaze level. "It was a threat to me and my friends."

The woman's face didn't change, and Percy supposed that she might have been trained in interrogation tactics. "Well, we'll come back to that. How do we fight them?"

"You don't need to. My friends and I can handle them. Besides, they're mostly only interested in us."

"What did you do to earn this attention."

Percy grit his teeth. "Nothing, we're hunted for who we are."

She tilted her head. "And who are you."

Percy's relaxed his features and forced his face into an easy grin; she was getting to him. "I'm Percy Jackson."

"Okay, then, what are-" Percy must have been really unlucky. Because for the second time that day, he got an Iris Message.

"Hey, Kelp Head! Guess what?" Thalia questioned from her place on Nico's back. Despite the situation two had just put him in, he couldn't help but smile. Thalia and the Huntresses had been M.I.A. for the last few weeks, and he was relieved to see that she was okay.

So, even though the three adults were gawking at him and his Iris Message, he played along. "Hmm, I couldn't possibly know, Pinecone Face. It wouldn't happen to be that you'll be at camp for the weekend? That couldn't possibly be it."

"It most certainly be-" she started, but Nico interrupted.

"Percy, where are you?" His face was serious, like he knew that they had just screwed up somehow.

"He's at the Avengers compound, having a little chat." The scrawnier man spoke up.

Both of his cousins looked shocked. "You're doing what?"

Panicked, Percy quickly said, "I'll tell you about it later. See you this weekend!" And ended the call. Defeated, he sank into his chair. "So, you saw that, huh?" Letting the situation sink in, Percy let his head sink down. "What do you want to know?" He muttered into the table.

"Why shouldn't we have seen that?" The one from the history books asked.

Percy responded, picking his head up from the table, but not looking up. "There's supposed to be a force that keeps mortals like you from seeing our world. You can't all be clear-sighted, which means that something is wrong with it."

He continued, "What was that misty thing?"

"That was an Iris Message. My friends and I use it to communicate."

The woman leaned forward. "Why not just use cell phones?"

"They're like a flare to monsters. They're able to find us easier than just by using our scent."

"What kind of monsters?"

Percy leveled his gaze with her's. "How much do you know about Greek mythology?"

Stepping in, the scrawny guy asked, "Like, Medusa, and stuff?"

Percy winced. "Yeah, like her 'and stuff.' Just be careful with what names you use, they hold a lot of power in my world."

The woman took back over with an annoyed glance at her smaller companion. "You said these monsters track you by your scent. What makes you smell any different than us?" She asked.

He hesitated. This is what he had been trying to avoid, but knew the questioning would inevitably lead up to. He could lie, but he had a feeling the woman would know, but that left telling the truth or not speaking at all. He could tell the latter option would get him nowhere with this group. He had a feeling he could the two guys, but probably not the woman.

Percy took a deep breath. "Because we're children of the gods." He finally said.

The scrawnier man rubbed his temples. "So you're telling me you're Thor's id? And he just never told us that he and his god friends had kids?"

Percy froze. They knew Thor? "Not exactly... I'm the child of Poseidon. You obviously know the Norse gods are real, but the Greek, Roman and Egyptian gos are also still alive. Um... is there any chance that Thor is here, right now?"

The woman narrowed her eyes. "No, why? Do you and Thor have a past?" They were obviously going on the defensive.

Percy quickly explained. "No! I've never met him! But most gods of storms don't like children of Hades or Poseidon, or their counterparts. I don't know how he feels about us. But I've never met Thor personally." He sat back in his chair and contemplated the three in front of him. "You know, you never introduced yourselves. That was quite rude of you, actually."

The men in the back balked. "You mean you've never heard of us before?" The scrawny one asked.

"I mean, I've seen big guy over there in those detention videos and my girlfriend's history books, but that's it. Spiderman said you guys were superheroes and saved the world."

"So you're telling me that you've never heard of Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, or Natasha Romanoff until now?" The woman asked evenly. She didn't blatantly show her shock, but there was a spark of curiosity in her eyes.

"We were all in Europe at the same time, and I saw some news footage of what happened in Berlin, but otherwise, no. We tend to stay out of mortal affairs, and no one watches the news where I live. Most of the time, we're training." He shrugged. "I'm guessing you're Natasha, which leaves Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. Now, normally I don't soak in everything Annabeth tells me, but I do remember her telling me about the super-soldier Captain America, aka Steve Rogers, and no offense, Mr. Stark, but you don't look like a super-soldier, which leaves Beefcake over here." Percy finished with a smirk on his face. If they'd done their research, they would know what he was like in school, which would mean they wouldn't think he was very smart. Well, just because Percy couldn't write a good essay didn't mean he wasn't smart.

Stark looked mildly impressed with his correct deductions and Natasha continued her interrogation. "Well, now that we know who you are, what can you tell us about how to fight these monsters? We'd feel safer trusting some professionals than a bunch of inexperienced kids to take these things down." She smirked back, thinking that she had the upper hand.

She did not.

Percy's features suddenly took a dark turn. "I'd say you're the inexperienced ones, Romanoff. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Stark rolled his eyes. "Try fighting aliens and reversing the effects of magic stones that killed half the population."

Shooting forward in his seat, Percy banged his fists on the table and stood as he said, "Try watching your friends die as you face off against not one, but two primordial beings because you're the center of two dumb prophecies. Try walking through literal hell with your girlfriend, where around the corner are more assholes you sent there three years ago. Try living a life where at any point, a monster you killed when you were 12 could come back and attack you again. Try that on for size, dickwad. Then tell me which of us is inexperienced."

Tony Stark, and Percy supposed everyone else, went slack-jawed, but he couldn't tell because his vision had gone red. He hadn't lost all of the friends he did just to be told that he was less experienced because he was a little younger. He'd for two wars for Hera's sake! He deserved some damn recognition. "Look, I'm on you're side if that's what you're wondering, but I don't appreciate being told I'm less experienced when you have a 15 year old in high-tech spandex staring at me behind the glass." He said, frustrated.

"How did you-" Stark looked incredulous.

"It wasn't hard. His voice cracked a few times in the car, and no one's voice craks that much except a guy in the middle of puberty. I figured Peter was around 15 or 16, so that was a bit of a guess, but you confirmed. And I've known it was Peter in the suit since he started following me at the school. Peter had already been following me around and when he suddenly disappeared and a spandex-clad kid took his place, it didn't take much to put two and two together." Percy had nearly completely calmed down. The subject wasn't his past anymore, which gave him a moment to calm his temper.

Stark huffed and crossed his arms, but didn't say anything. "Okay, so you know about us, and we know a little about you, but in order for us to trust you, we're going to need some answers."

"What kind of answers?"

"Some answers about your past." Steve was all business again, past the shock of Percy's ordeals.

Percy sat back in his seat. "What do you want to know?"

"Well first of all..."

Peter had no idea what do do with this new information. He supposed it shouldn't be that shocking, especially when Thor had been visiting a week ago. But Thor was from Asgard, an alien planet. Percy was from New York.

"...And if you remember that 'natural disaster' from a few years ago around the Empire State Building, that was me and my friends trying to save Olympus from being invaded by our collective evil grandfather inhabiting our friend's body." Percy explained.

Peter couldn't see anybody but Percy's facial expression, so he could only imagine the confusion Mr. Stark's face when he said, "Wait, Olympus, as in Mount Olympus? But I thought that was in Greece?"

Percy rolled his eyes as if he had had to explain this multiple times to many people. "It was, but with the movement of the spark of Western Civilization came the movement of Olympus. So right now it's above the Empire State Building on floor 600." Percy, at this point, had kicked his feet up on the table and was fiddling with a pen from his pocket. "Oh, and, uh, the Underworld? That's in Los Angeles."

Seeing the back of Cap's head shake, Peter could only imagine the shock he was going through, but before he could say anything, Natasha interjected. "What weapon makes you so special against all of these threats?"

"Now you people are asking the real questions." Percy grinned. "There are metals called Celestial Bronze and Imperial Gold that only people from our world know about. The trick with these it that mortals are unaffected by it. But on the flip side, mortal metal does nothing to monsters."

Percy was having fun with this now that all of the cards were on the table.

"Jesus Christ, kid, who are you?" Tony exclaimed.

Percy took his feet from the table and wiped the grin off his face. "I am Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon and savior of the gods twice over. I've done far more shit than you could have ever imagined, and maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to tell you about it one day. Do you need anything else, or can I go save my mother from the heart attack she's bound to have when she comes home from work and I'm missing. Again."

Tony uncrossed his arms as Cap stepped forward. "Yeah, we've got one more question," Cap said. "Care to join the Avengers?"

[stars-that-shine-at-night]

If the Shoe Fits Park Jimin x Reader Ballet!Au

8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15

“Alright everyone two slow tendu, pique, sous ssus, plie, single foot pirouette.” The teacher snapped her fingers, while she walked around the room, inspecting all the students warming up.

“Miss Lee cleaner body line please.” The teacher said. Sweat streamed down Jimin’s back as he repeated the moments as best as he can, dreading the fact that he will have a private pas de deux practice with Miju today. If only he could drink. Meanwhile another girl was on his mind, perhaps a certain girl he knew was sitting at her desk shaping shoes. Jimin was so focused on the warm up exercises that he didn’t notice the piano stopped playing and the teacher stopped talking.

“Mister Park!” The teacher screamed for about the third time now. Jimin looked up at her through his dark sweaty bangs. “Master Geonsik would like to see you in his office, and since the class is almost over you may take your things.” Jimin nodded at the teacher and walked over to his bag. While he was taking off his slippers and putting on actual shoes the music and the teacher resumed. Jimin slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the dance room. Jimin tapped his knuckles against the wooden door of Master Geonsik’s office. Jimin pushed the door open when he was given permission to enter. “With all due respect Master Geonsik I hope that this is really important, because I thoroughly dislike missing classes.” Jimin dead panned, trying his best not to sound like an ass. 

“Just like your father I see. I would like to hope that my questions seems  important to you, because I got a feeling that girl you danced with on the night of the ball was your darling dandelion.” Jimin stiffened at the mention of your mere nickname. “I see I have your attention Mister Park. So I am correct to assume that the dancer in pink with you was (l/n) (y/n).”

“Why do you ask Master Geonsik?” Jimin asked.

“I see your suspicious in thinking that I am in alliance with the Yoo family, I can assure I am not. To prove that I have already fired the three teacher in cahoots with Yoo Miju, and I will make sure they never set foot near Etre ever again. In addition to the terms of the expulsion of Miss Yoo, those actions shall be carried out shortly. Mister Park I am only asking about Miss (l/n) in your best interests. With the soon removal of Miss Yoo, I would like Miss (l/n) to be your replacement partner. I believe that you two can do incredible things in the future as a partners. On the contrary Miss (l/n) hasn’t had any formal lessons, so are you willing to be patient and help her get up to speed. She may remember all the moves and be able to perform, but talent can only take her so far, she needs strength and balance, qualities that take years of practice. I know you Mister Park, and that you are very impatient. So will you be patient with Miss (y/n) if I recruit her to be your partner?” Jimin licked his cracked lips, would he be able to change for you? Could he slow down for once to help you? Would you even want to dance with him? Ballet is indeed a beautiful art, but the dancing world is a harsh one, could he protect you from that. He didn’t want to waste your time, and taking you out of your career of being a maker.

“I will help her, I promise. Only if she is willing to join me as my partner.” Jimin answered.

“Well that sounds wonderful, bring her to Etre today, before your pas de deux practice. It has been cancelled for today. I want to see her dance with you one more time.” Master Geonsik said. Jimin nodded and left after Master Geonsik dismissed him.

During lunch the others noticed Jimin’s absence. “Where is Jimin? I hope he’ll be back in time for our practice, audition season is here. I want to make sure that we can nail our auditions so we can leave this school and start making our way through the professional world.” Miju said with a snobby tone, nose high in the air. The others collectively rolled their eyes, trying to keep their groans in.

Chaerin sighed as she and Hoseok walked to their next class. “Man, I wish someone could be good enough to shut Miju down.” Chaerin said, putting her hands head.

“I mean you could put her in her spot.” Hoseok pointed out.

“But the system is set against me, it totally favors Miju, and honestly I am a couple years behind Miju. We need someone who would totally blind side everyone, just come out of nowhere and dominate like a queen.” Chaerin expressed vividly as she talked with her hands.

“What about (y/n)?” Hoseok asked, “Miju would burn the world if (y/n) replaced her. Besides I think that (y/n) can do it, she has great chemistry with Jimin. I would have never believed that they could be partners. Remember when they first met at the beginning of the school year? I gagged when I found out that Jimin liked (y/n), I thought he was high or something.”

“I was so scared for (y/n) at first. I thought Jimin was trying to play games with (y/n), I was so sure he wouldn’t even try to be with someone who wasn't a dancer of his caliber. He just seemed like he was gunning for Miju, and be this royal couple in the school. Interesting.” Chaerin said.

“But it would be awesome for (y/n) to train with us here, then we can all together!” Hoseok cheered.

“I wish it was that simple Hoseok, it’s not just (y/n)’s choice. It all depends if (y/n)’s family lets her go, ever since she was a little girl she has been forbidden to dance and forced to watch from the audience’s seat. It might be rough for her to transition to a school of dancers who have been dancing their whole lives. (Y/n) can’t make up a lifetime of dance in just one or two years.” Chaerin pointed, Hoseok frowned but then flung his arm over her shoulder.

“Don’t worry about (y/n) too much Riniie, I understand your concern. While (y/n) has been grounded for a while I genuinely believe that she will be able to soar in whatever she does. C’mon she’s (l/n) (y/n) she can do anything.” Hoseok laughed.

“(Y/n) you have a visitor!” Your mom screamed from her desk. You muttered “ah fuck,” under your breath due to the fact that you were in the middle of forming the toe box, thus your hands were covered in sticky dirt colored paste.

“Hello, Miss (y/n) I am Headmaster Geonsik, from Etre.”  The older man greeted you.

“Yes, I do know who you are, my grandmother made your shoes.” You said, holding up your pasty hands.

“Ah yes, I do miss dancing in her shoes. Unfortunate that she passed so soon. However Miss (y/n) I have not come to waste your time about the shoes your grandmother made. I am here to talk about your ballet skills.”

“I also do know I suck, I do not need someone else telling me that fact thank you.” You said quickly after Master Geonsik.

“No, you are far from ‘sucking’ Miss (y/n) I am here to personally recruit you for Etre Academy. I want you to join our ranks of elite dancers.”

“ ‘Elite’ is the key word here Master Geonsik. As you can see I do not ‘belong in the ranks of the elite dancers’ I belong here, at this desk making shoes.” You said waving the paste around. “I don’t wear tutus, I wear paste stained aprons. I don’t step into pointe shoes, I make them.” You pointed out.

“I beg to differ, I saw you in a tutu and pointe shoes on that night of the ball.” Your eyes widened at the mere mention of that night.

“Ssshhh,” you shushed, “no one here can know I was there that night. My mother would end my life right here and now if she heard.” You panicked.

Master Geonsik smirked, and it reminded you of a visage so familiar. “Well if you want me to make sure that no one hears, please attend a private audition at 16:30 today. Someone will be waiting for you at the lobby. Please wear clothes according to the occasion, and if it isn’t obvious enough please wear pointe shoes.” Master Geonsik said, before leaving. “Ah fuck,” you muttered.

You tried to walk into Etre as quickly and quietly as you could, after sneaking out of the Delladova shop. You walked into the regal lobby of Etre, which never failed to suck your breath from your lungs with its beauty. You thought that if you just showed up and quite right after saying that the ballet life isn’t for you.

“Miss (y/n) I have been waiting for you, I am Madame Jiyu. I am new teacher here, I teach solo variations for females. I will take you to the dance room you will be auditioning.” A young woman said, bowing. You bowed back and greeted her. You followed her in the gigantic school, until you arrived to a room with the door closed.

“You can step in here. Put your shoes on, stretch and warm up.” She said and walked off. You pushed the door open to see Jimin sipping on his water bottle.

“Okay it is time for my to leave. It’s been a great audition but I have decided that this life isn’t for me.” You said, walking out while of the door while re-adjusting your bag. Jimin stood up and caught your wrist with his sweaty hand, before you could fully leave from the door.

“May I have this dance?” Jimin breathed. You turned to look him in the eye.

“Don’t you dance with Miju?”

“I can’t dance with her again. I never want to dance with anyone else again, (y/n). That night of the ball I realized that my partner is you. (Y/n), we can be partners together on the dance floor., and actually hold each other. I know you feel the same way, so why do you keep walking away from me? Or am I just wrong in the way I feel, am I the only one? Am I alone?” You frowned and sniffled. You took your free hand and pretended to pull on the invisible skirt you had on and curtsied.

“I would be honored to dance with you.” You said. Jimin smiled, but then let go of your hand.

“I think that you need shoes Miss, you were told to have proper dance attire remember.” Jimin smiled, you rolled your eyes and lightly punched Jimin.

“Way to ruin the moment Prince Charming.” You said as you sat down with your bag to put on your pointe shoes.

“Prince Charming? I’ve always thought of myself as more of a Prince Florimund.” Jimin shot back. “Lets warm you up shall we? You still need to stretch and get ready for your audition. I am here as your guide.” Jimin said. You nodded and held onto the barre attached to the walls. After about 45 minutes of warming up you were already out of breath gasping for as much oxygen as you could.

“Maybe you should go and get some water.” Jimin suggested, you nodded and walked to your bag with your water bottle in. When the first sip of water hit your tongue you started drinking at a faster pace. You wiped drops of water away from your lips when you took the bottle away from your lips.

“Water has never tasted so good.” You gasped between gulps of water.

“Don’t you run?” Jimin asked.

“When you make 76 shoes a day it gets a little bit hard to work out every day.” You said, “as much as I love running and exercising, the most I have done these past couple of days is trying to catch the train after over sleeping.”

“I see, well let’s warm up for another 45 minutes and then we’ll dance okay?” Jimin proposed.

“My god, I am going to be so sore tomorrow.” You said, as you threw your bottle back into your bag. After another grueling 45 minutes of warming up, Jimin correcting you, and Jimin critiquing you, it was time to start dancing. When Jimin turned on the CD player, from the speakers, your ears recognized the melody.

“The wedding dance from ‘Sleeping Beauty’?” You asked.

“Yeah, well this isn’t for our wedding yet…” Jimin winked, and you replied with an eye roll and a middle finger, “I still think that an ‘awakening beauty’ is very fitting for you.” Jimin said, as he pulled you closer and held onto your hands.

“Whatever I thought you danced more than you smooth talked.” You shot back, smiling. Jimin shook it off and began the pas de deux. The whole thing was a trial and error process, sometimes, he would stop and help you correct your mistakes. Sometimes you made the same mistake over and over again, but Jimin did not once raise his voice, express a look of disdain or anger. You were surprised at the amount of patience Jimin has shown today. You would have never guessed he would be so patient with you, someone who hasn’t who has danced for more than half of their life. Before he was an egotistical douche bag, who refused to dance with someone who couldn’t keep up with him. You definitely fell hard in the category of “someone who can not dance on his level”.

“Jimin,” you called, while looking down at your water bottle, “how come you chose me as a partner? I’m not someone who glitters as gem like Miju on stage.”

“Well you might not be a fine cut gem like Miju…” you winced at what seemed like a diss, “however, gems can’t do the same things as flowers. Miju is pretty, but she can’t breathe life into the characters and the variations like you do.” Jimin finished. “You know at the beginning of last year when all the dancers came back, I met you, and you became my maker. All the Masters and Madams were telling me constantly that I was dancing without emotion. Here you are, a girl who hasn’t had formal training in forever, you bring such raw emotion and passion that many dancers at my level has lost. You never lost all that passion (y/n), you dance with your heart as much as you did all those years ago, and I admire that about you. Sometimes I feel like you have been saved from this cruel world that is ballet.”

“Wait, how did you how I danced when I was younger, you never knew me.” You turned to look up at Jimin.

“Because we used to meet under rainbow lanterns (y/n).” Jimin answered.

“You’re the boy who held my pointe shoes…” You murmured. “The one who cradled the blue pointe shoes, the ones my grandma made. You were crying saying that you lost me. The boy with sweet cheeks, plump pink lips, and my dear friend who ate chewy donuts with me.”

“Do you really remember me (y/n)?”

“The accident, you never came to see me after the car hit me, Jimin why?”

“I got sent to France to study, and got into my own accident. I visited you once in the hospital you were still in a coma. I would have stayed longer (y/n).” Jimin admitted.

“Well,” you stood to you feet, “If there has been something I have learned from over these years, is that the past is in the past and you can’t really change it. No matter how much you wish to go back.”

“You ready to dance?” Jimin asked. You nodded your head. “It’s the grand finale”

“One more time.” You smiled and held out your hands for Jimin. The song restarted once more, as you and Jimin began to dance together.  Through the one way mirror three teachers were watching you and Jimin practice and dance for the whole time.

“I don’t understand Master Geonsik, how come we have to watch this girl from afar. Don’t you think it’s unfair for the other children who audition. They know when we are watching how come this girl gets an advantage?” Master Taemin asked.

“Because this is no ordinary ballerina Master Taemin, we mustn't make a commotion until we have decided to accept her into Etre or not.” Master Geonsik answered.

You danced with Jimin in sync and as cleanly as you could. You bent your body when you needed to and kept it straight when you needed. Both you and Jimin were able to embody the eternal and elegant love of Aurora and Florimund.

“Wait I have never seen Park Jimin dance with this many emotions with Yoo Miju. This current dance puts the one he did in the fall to shame.” Master Taemin noticed.

“You have to give the girl some credit, she is not classically trained as Yoo Miju, but she puts her best effort forward in every run through they had. She listens well, and uses every bit of advice Park Jimin has given to her. She may be talented but she also has fantastic work ethic, something rare in the dancers at this school. She can get really far with these qualities.” Madame Jiyu added.

You could sense that the song was coming to end so the final move was coming soon. You raised your arm into fifth position, Jimin spun you by your hips, and caught you to face the front. The moment when Jimin and Miju completed the final move together replayed in your mind, as you copied her movements, trying to remember her mistakes and improve on them.

You hooked your leg around Jimin’s thigh, as he let go of your hips, you engaged your abs to hold up the upper half of your body, and flung your hands in the air. Your mind was only focusing on your body, making sure your line was clean and muscles clenched to ensure you won’t topple onto the ground.

“What the fuck is this?!” Miju screeched, busting into dance room. “Get off of my partner you bitch! You have no right to be dancing with him. No right, no talent, no grace, and no beauty.” She continued. Jimin grabbed a hold of your hand to help you step back onto the dance floor. You stood tall to face Miju, maybe it was an adrenaline high, but you felt like she couldn’t do anything to you.

Miju extended her index finger at you. “You don’t belong here (y/n). You’re not a dancer, you’re a maker. You don’t deserve to step foot onto the stage, you should know your place. How many times must I teach to know where you belong. Locking you in the shoe room, destroying your home, and threatening your family wasn’t enough?! You insulate creature, you have no place here.” Miju screamed.

“Actually Miss Yoo, you are quite in the wrong.”  Madame Jiyu walked in, with the two other teachers and Master Geonsik behind her.

“If it’s anyone who doesn’t belong at this academy it’s actually you.” Master Geonsik added. “You are a talented dancer but a horrible person. The staff knows about your family’s pay outs to certain teachers to assure you have the lead. Etre academy is for those who work hard, not those who get complacent with their talent. Miss Yoo due to your unacceptable actions against Miss (l/n) the academy has no choice but to expel you.”

“What?! Expel me, my family has done nothing but contribute to this school. All the donations and the free time my parents gave to teach your useless students.”

“Yes, your family has made great contributions to this school, however the board members would rather lose the Yoo family than the (l/n) family. The (l/n)’s have worked for Etre for generations. They have shown loyalty and dedication by providing long hours in the workshop making shoes for all of our dancers. Miss (l/n) is no exception, we know that she spends many nights away from her family making sure all orders are completed on time. How have you gone above and beyond Miss Yoo?” Master Geonsik asked rhetorically. Tears welled up in Miju eyes, he was right, and Miju couldn’t say anything to defend herself. She ran out of the room and out of your life.

“Miss (y/n),” Master Geonsik and the three other teachers turned to you, “I invited you here to dance with Mister Park as a try out. Due to Miss Yoo’s unfortunate departure, Mister Park is evidently partner-less.”

“With your stellar performance you had right now with Mister Park, we hope that you will accept a scholarship here at Etre, and be Mister Park’s full time partner.” Madame Jiyu explained. Jimin’s lips stretched into a smile as he placed his hand on your shoulder and squeezed.

“(Y/n) you should take the scholarship. I know you haven’t been classically trained all your life like the others here. Catching up will be hard but I promise to be with you every step of the way. I’ll be one of your teachers that will catch you up on the years that you missed.” Jimin added. You turned to meet him eye to eye.

“Really? The whole way?”

“(Y/n) I told you why I think you are an amazing dancer. I would be honored to have someone extraordinary to dance with. (Y/n) I know you felt how well we danced together, it feels different from how I danced with Miju.”

“Miju is right I don’t belong here.” You said, your voice unwavering. Jimin and the staff looked at you in shock.

“(Y/n) don’t listen to her, what-”

“-Jimin, let me finish,” ironically you interrupted him, “I can’t ever be the partner that dances on stage with you. I am the partner that dances with you at the workbench. That is where I belong.” You answered.

“What happened to the little girl who loved to dance? I remember, I told you I remember everything from when we were little (y/n).”

“Jimin, she’s still here.” You placed his hand over your heart. “She just grew up.” You smiled. “I love dancing, I love ballet, I love it all, but I know I am meant to be the one makes your shoes. I do dance with you stage, in every pair of shoes I make for you, a bit of me is with you, in the form of that dandelion that I press into your shoes. I hope you can respect me as a partner in that sense. I am truly happy stay up late night to make shoes for the greatest dancer I know.”

“It is truly unfortunate that you haven’t chosen to be a dancer here Miss (l/n), all the staff at Etre believed you could have built an excellent foundation here for your bright future. However if you change your mind the doors to Etre are always opened to you. You know where to find us Miss (l/n).” Master Geonsik said, and the other teachers followed him out the door.

“(Y/n) are you sure you don’t want to join the academy? Please join, I’ll make sure that I will stay at Etre for another year if that is what it takes to get you ready for a company. We can go in together, I can wait for you.” Jimin pulled you into his body and cradled your jaw with a hand. You nodded your head from side to side.

“I’m sure that I don’t want to be a dancer. I thought about coming back as a dancer long and hard, but I am happy as a maker. I know I could make a new path for myself, but I want to stay on this path, with you.”

“I have a compromise then,” Jimin proposed, you rolled your eyes.

“Jimin I’m sure I don’t-”

“-(Y/n) let me finish.” Jimin smiled slyly. “If you won’t be my pas de deux partner, then be my girlfriend.” You stared into his eyes for a few seconds, getting lost within them. Your lips released a hum, while Jimin’s tongue darted out to lick his dry lips.

“I would gladly accept your compromise.” You answered. You weren’t sure what to do, were you supposed to kiss him? Hug him? Jimin made the first move and placed both of hands onto your cheeks. You felt the pads of his thumb running over the skin of your cheeks.

“Stop, I don’t want to feel all my pores and acne scars.” You whined.

Jimin chuckled. “I think your cheeks feel as soft as petals.” Jimin pulled you forward into a kiss. Jimin’s lips felt like clouds against your own, you wondered what his pout felt like now you do know. “And so are your lips.” Jimin smirked. 

“Shut up before I punch you in your perfect lips” You rolled your eyes. “You think I have perfect lips?” Jimin cocked an eyebrow. 

“Absolutely princely.” You said, leaning back in for another kiss.