#honestly tumblr is just the pride website

[theredlumas2]

i SERIOUSLY doubt that luigi is aroace

(i’m not going against the post it’s funny)

You’ve heard of “Every purple character is ace” now get ready for

[buttercuparry]

It is deeply sickening how even privacy has become a luxury for palestinians who are fundraising on this website. Since October 7th, Gazans have had to document their own genocide at great cost to themselves for no fault of their own;  they have had to risk their lives to show you the bombings; they have had to record themselves bleeding. 

They have had to show the tremendous personal loss they have suffered and their grief of it - all so that the Zionist narrative wouldn't be the only thing that gets peddled around in the digital space. But it seems like the more the months pass, and the atrocities keep mounting - the more people in the online space become desensitized to the suffering, and in fact are convinced that they are owed these documentation to even begin to care ( it has become especially clear after the recent smear campaign that put the entire demographic under horrible scrutiny ). 

It is honestly so disgustingly voyeuristic to me- this demand to be allowed into someone’s grief so that you can be convinced that they too are of flesh and blood, to demand that they put their suffering on display for your judgement on their authenticity, to put the burden on THEM to do the work of breaking you out of your easy apathy towards their suffering.

For months, my friend Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 ) has tried to protect his and his family’s privacy. For months he has talked of Gaza and given you updates as is his capacity as a journalist. He thought that this would be enough for the people to understand just how much his family has to fight everyday to survive. But it seems like that didn't really cut it for a lot of users on tumblr, because his fundraiser stagnates every 12 hours when his updates stop circulating around tumblr. 

So as much as it pains him to share this with an apathetic audience that may very well scroll past this post- he has agreed to talk a bit about his precious son, Amir, who has fallen sick with an infectious skin disease. 

So don't you dare ignore this!!

You have demanded that Siraj perform; that he prove that he is a real person with a real family to protect- so here is Siraj with a story about his son. It is a reflection of how desperate he feels to willingly give up the privacy he fought to protect for months. So you better pay attention now!

Siraj's son Amir is a stubborn boy. It is impossible to move him from his position once he is convinced of something. This also makes him competitive and Siraj is proud to say that Amir had been on his school’s swimming team. “First level in the swimming course,” Siraj tells me with obvious pride. Amir has an exceptional ability to memorize too- quickly moving through his lessons and thus almost always having a place in the school celebrations of outstanding students. 

Amir is stubbornly kind too. Amidst the bombings - this little boy didn't think of only saving himself. He carried his cat Jimmy all the way from the North of Gaza to the South. In Siraj’s words: He did not leave Jimmy for a moment, not even to take his shoes off, when it tore after hours of walking. 

The two month old cat died a month into their displacement - with no food available, Amir had to watch his beloved pet waste away, desperate and yet unable to help in anyway. Tell me now, is this horrifying tidbit sufficient documentation of Amir’s unchilding? Is this enough? 

Or do you also want to know of the shock Amir received on learning that his cousins have been martyred? Will you make Siraj describe this in all of its horrifying detail too? How his child has lost so much of his childhood to this war when he should be studying, going to school, and playing with his brothers and friends instead?

Their books, their school, their pet, their toys have all been lost in this genocide. Do they have to lay out all the indignities they are facing at your feet, do they have to lose the litle privacy they have left in that cramped, pest-ridden tent of theirs to convince you to not turn the other way?

Tell me what will finally be enough to make you pay attention?? What would be enough to convince you that Siraj’s survival fund is as much an emergency as all the other evacuation funds ?? I will ask him to share and we can all lay it out for you, because apparently some of you need a record of all that suffering presented to you like its a portfolio to give a fuck.

Siraj is tired, his wife Halima is too. Amir and his siblings have lost so much of themselves during these past 10 months. None of them are the people they used to be, and it is something they will carry for the rest of their lives!!

So please!

Please if Siraj has performed enough for you, then fucking donate to his campaign.

He has been fundraising from June!!! He has talked to hundreds of people and has bonded with enough of them to be considered a personal friend of theirs. Many have even agreed to share his story and many others have offered to hold commissions and raffles for him- but despite this, he still hasn't even crossed the halfway mark of his campaign yet!! What can a handful of friends do? When the mass of tumblr population isn't convinced of his suffering!

Amir is in constant pain right now due to the infection- and his brothers are beginning to show similar symptoms as him. They are all very unwell. 

The money would go to helping Amir and his brothers survive!!

I can't tell you how frustrating it is to see this everyday when i personally know just how much Siraj sacrifices to make his presence known here- from braving the 3km route when he can get caught in crossfire- all so that he may have a hotspot connection at an exorbitant price. It burns away the money that might have gone into acquiring food and water.

WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!

SIRAJ NEEDS TO GET TO 40K WITHIN THIS WEEK SO THAT WE CAN BEGIN TO WORK TOWARDS THE LATTER HALF OF THE CAMPAIGN.

THIS IS URGENT. SIRAJ NEEDS TO MOVE ONTO HIS NEXT GOALS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO GET HIS KIDS TO SAFETY!

PLEASE DONATE ANY AMOUNT YOU CAN SPARE, THIS CANNOT WAIT.

Every MINUTE, every  SECOND we delay meeting his goal, it costs siraj and his family more than some of us will ever understand.

Please help him out. It is the least we can do right now-> vetting at 219 on Hussein's spreadsheet.

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Objective: Teenage Dreams.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

Tags: Pride month, bisexual Wanda, mutual pining, canon divergence, lesbian Natasha.

A/n: My gift before pride ends lol, it a little rushed but uhh... I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it. It's kind of a crack fic honestly, just good vibe for ye gays :D (Ps. sorry if there are mistakes I kind rushed this andd it's been a while.)

Summary: It's pride month and Wanda still hasn't made her move. Being the self-proclaimed greatest ally, Y/n and two other decided to give them a push.

On lazy days like these, Wanda usually spends it by reading a book, maybe binge watching some shows. Other times she spends it with her brother, but ever since joining the Avengers, Pietro has made it his ultimate goal to have Steve Roger's physique. He trained almost day and night, honestly Wanda could enter the gym at 9 in the morning finding her brother in the middle of a workout, and by the time she was finished he was still there.

Often time he was also with her best friend, who is now his gym buddy, Y/n Romanoff. Who was just as much of a gym rat as Pietro. Honestly, the amount of time they stare at themselves in the mirror was concerning. She's almost sure she had passed a video on social media featuring them titled; 'How to train like an Avenger'

So nowadays she spends her free time alone, even though she wishes she could spend it with a certain beautiful redhead-

Although it wasn't all that bad. Wanda had found a new fixation to spend her time on. Which was Fanfictions.

Now how does one stumbles upon this... wonderful world you might ask? Well for Wanda it started when she was watching a new TV Show she had recently discovered called, The 100. It was fun until they killed off one of her favorite character, Lexa. Wanda naturally dropped the show in an instant. During one of her rants to one of the new recruits, Kate Bishop then sent her a link leading to a website followed a text that read; "The showrunners might break your heart, but fanfiction authors will be there to pick up the pieces."

And Wanda... Fell down the rabbit hole from there.

At first all she searched was merely about wlw couples on her favorite movies and shows, like that one Supergirl TV show she had been recently watching. Or that one cute show called 'Everything Sucks' that got canceled after one season. Basically any wlw couples she started to like, but couldn't be explored due to the showrunners being a pus-

It didn't matter, she founded the holy-site that held all the stories in the world. Then, when she found nothing else to read there, it lead her journey to... a site that shares the same name as drinking bottle; Tumblr. Minus the 'e'.

The site gave her access to a whole new world and whole lot more stories. It was on this website that she found out there was a whole fandom for the Avengers, and many stories was written about them in different scenarios. Sometimes it was cute, other times it was... questionable-

You can't really blame her, can't you? Her name and the word mommy was basically inseparable on this site.

This was where she learned that people have also been 'shipping' one Avenger and the other. Curiosity got the better of the witch when she started to search herself... and a certain former Russian spy. She was surprised to see how many stories were written about them here. Wanda... may have gotten a little out of hand.

This was her guilty pleasure. Reading stories about her crush and herself in a scenario instead of actually trying to talk to her. Can you blame her though? She was what the internet describes as a 'Loser Lesbian'.

The little voice in her head prefers the word 'Useless Lesbian', which wasn't even accurate as she mostly resonates more with Bisexuality-

"Happy gay month, cus you know you bi and stuff!" Ah there it is, the 'little voice' burst through her door unannounced, causing Wanda to yelp and quickly shut her laptop close to hide her 'shameful' activity.

Wanda glared at the young Romanoff who was carrying 3 different items in his hand and approaching her on the bed. "What the fuck is wrong with-"

"Here, I got you a gay balloon cus it got all the color because it's GAY."

"Y/n-" She reluctantly takes the balloon.

"And I gotchu a vinyl album with that Sweater Weather song cus you Bi." He handed her the vinyl, how thoughtful.

"Ok-"

Lastly, "And I baked you a cake that says, 'BeeEE who yoOOUUu aaRREEE, for YooUURE PRiiiDEEEEeeeEE'" He sang the word off tune.

"Ok- Thank you... Uhm-" She grabs all the items and looks at them with confusion. "This is..." Wanda furrowed her eyes at her friend. "Why- Why did you do this, why are you doing this??"

"You know... Cus you're Bi!"

"I'm well aware of that fact."

"Well my dearest Wanda, in this holy month of June I have a very important mission to accomplish." The young Romanoff suddenly jumps on her bed and dramatically opens his arms as if he was some kind of showman. "I'm gonna get you a woman!"

The youngest Maximoff cringes her face and with a flick of her wrist she knock the soldier off her bed, earning a high pitch scream from him. "First of all, you can't get a woman for yourself how do you expect to get me a girlfriend."

"I have plenty of girls!" He said rather defensively as he sat up on the floor.

"And second, why is this so important to you?"

"What you don't want a girlfriend?"

"I still like guys you know."

He rolled his eyes, "I know that, but you always told me you wanted to try dating girls."

"Not just girls... a girl-" She mumbles.

"What was that?" The man raised a teasing eyebrow.

"Nothing! Now shut up, you haven't answered my question." Wanda said while huffing and crossing her arms.

"Because my dearest friend being Bisexual is one thing, but being bi yourself is just sad-" That statement earned him a rightful pillow thrown at him at full speed. Which he thankfully manages to deflect this time with his reflex.

Wanda then groans and plops on her bed. "You're not going to stop, are you?"

"Nope." Y/n even popped the 'p' to emphasize his point. With a roll of her eyes, Wanda agrees with an exaggerated fine and he joined her on the bed with a grin. "Now, first thing on the list is we need to get you some new clothes."

Wanda hastily sat up looked down at her current outfit and glanced at the mirror in her room. She gave him a stinky eye. "What's wrong with my clothes??" This rude bitch-

"Nothing..." Y/n said rather sassily, "I just... think it might need a little spice is all." Without asking for her permission, Y/n grabs her laptop out of her reach and opens it. "I was thinking we could- WHOAAA..."

"What's- NO!" Her eyes widens in panic has her dirty little secret have been exposed. The witch lunges herself to him only for the young super soldier to hold out a hand to keep her at a distance while staring bewildered at the screen before him. "GIVE IT BACK."

"OH MY GOD???? YOu into this shit?!!" Oh the young Romanoff was having the time of his life. He grinned as he looked at what the story was about, "Natasha Romanoff x Reader? Ohhh ho HO, you really llike her huh-?"

"Y/n I swear to god, GIVE IT BACK." She yelled, Wanda was fucking furious. She already had an annoying brother to deal with, what was she thinking adding Y/n into the mix.

"I want to see your blog." It was like she was seeing red, blood thumping in her brain.

Wanda screeched like a maniac, suddenly overpowering the super soldier. She was practically sitting on top of him wrestling with the now closed laptop, Y/n hugged the laptop close. "Y/N I WILL KILL YOU!"

"I JUST WANT TO SEE!"

"NEVER!" Their screaming was probably heard all over the compound as they wrestle for Wanda's laptop. However, a stern voice stopped their childish fight.

"Enough, both of you!" The two whipped their head to the door to see Natasha crossing her arms and looking at them expectantly. The two scurry off of each other and Wanda made a final yank on her laptop out of his reach. The two stood up like guilty children caught in a fight.

"He took my laptop without permission." Wanda spoke up before Y/n could open his mouth. The look of betrayal on his face brings pleasure to Wanda as Natasha's anger was now directed to him.

"You-"

"Y/n, you know better than to take other people's personal things." Natasha glared at her little brother.

"You're just going to believe her right out of the gate?!" He retorted.

"It's the truth!" Wanda said while hugging her laptop tightly.

"You little snitch-" The super soldier turned to face her challengingly. Before the two were about to enter yet another screaming match, Natasha's stern voice puts them in their place once again.

"You two are acting like children. I have enough of this, Y/n if you don't stop this childish nonsense I'll have you grounded from any missions."

"You can't do that?!" His eyes practically bulge out of it's eye socket.

"I can, and I will." Natasha's death stare easily intimidates him as he quickly mumbles an apology to Wanda. The spy's gaze turned to the witch with soft and caring look, unlike the one she gave to her sibling. "Wanda, if he gives you anymore trouble you let me know ok?"

"Thank you, Natasha." Wanda said shyly, a faint blush visible on her cheek. The redhead smiled at her before giving one last glare to Y/n and left to god-knows-where.

It was so painfully obvious that the two liked each other. Except the only one that fail to realize that is themselves. Operation Scarlet Widow was going to be a lot more difficult than he anticipated, Y/n might need a little backup.

"I seriously don't get why you can't just ask her out instead of reading a bunch of stories-"

This annoying fuck- "DON'T talk to me about that!" She suddenly uses her powers to float him out of her room. "I don't wanna hear about it-" She practically throws him out, Y/n lies on the floor while looking at his friend bewildered. Wanda gave one last glare and shuts the door on his face.

"But-"

"And stay out!" Her voice yelled from inside the room.

Being the annoying friend that he is, he got onto his feet and proceeds to bug the shit out of the witch. Y/n started with those gentle knocks on the door. "Honeyyy-" He teased her.

"Ohmyfuckinggod. Don't call me that!" Wanda yells again. Y/n snickers at her response.

"Wanda, come on..." He knocks again, hearing no response the soldier knocks on the door harder. "You can't hide forever, come out!"

"Jokes on you, I already am!"

"Not what I meant, but ok!" He snickers again, clearly Wanda would not be opening the door anytime soon. He makes his way to the gym to recruit some people who shall help him in this mission.

------

Upon entering the training grounds, Y/n found Yelena and Pietro in the middle of a sparring session. Only these two would spend their Sundays training.

"Dearest Brother, nice of you to join us." Of course Yelena would know it was him, despite having her back facing Y/n.

"Let me know when you want to spar with someone who can actually throw a punch." The soldier said with a smirk.

"Fuck you, Romanoff!" The silver-haired speedster gave him the finger before focusing back on his opponent. "You're the one who's lacking, I thought super soldiers could do this all day?"

Y/n scoffed, "Oh please, I can take you down without breaking a sweat. You rely mostly on your powers."

"Barf, are you going to keep bothering us or join us?" Yelena said with a roll of her eyes, using the distraction Pietro surges forward in an attempt to tackle Yelena. Although she may not have powers, her skills were beyond his years. Using the techniques taught by none other than her own sister, Yelena manages to take down the speedster with ease.

"Hah!" She snorted seeing Pietro with his face on the ground and tapping the floor to announce his defeat. Yelena gets off of him with a smirk on her face.

"Oh come on! If this was a real fight you know you wouldn't stand a chance." The speedster grumbles.

"I'm not denying that, but take that power away and you're just another damsel in distress."

Pietro narrowed his eyes. In the midst of her overconfidence, he uses his powers to knock Yelena on the feet, causing her to fall backwards onto her ass. Normally, her instinct would've kicked in and she would prepare for the fall, but this time Pietro stands in triumph while crossing his arms with a smirk on his face.

"Bitch." Yelena mumbles in Russian before dusting herself off.

"Now if you're both finished, I would like to make an offering." Y/n said while putting his fingers together like some menace business man with bad intention.

"You want to steal Tony's car and do a high speed race on the highway? I call dibs on the Mclaren." Yelena spoke up.

"So long as I get the Ferrari-" Pietro chimes in.

"No, but we'll get back into that because I always wanted to try his Audi. What I have is, how would you feel on playing cupid for our dearest sisters?" Yelena only raises an eyebrow while Pietro squints his eyes.

"I am getting sick of seeing them practically eye-fucking each other at the gym." Yelena started.

"Hey, that's my little sister." Pietro said while puffing his chest out playing the overprotective big brother role.

Yelena rolled her eyes, "She's 27 dipshit, and you're only 12 minutes older."

"Still my little sister..."

"Look we can all agree that these two needs to sort out their feelings, and since the two are completely useless as one is an idiot who thinks staring will magically get her a date. And the other has deep traumatic issues where she struggles to have proper relationship due to her upbringing. I'd say, maybe they need a little third party help?" Y/n opens his arms as if to wait if any of the two objects.

"And how do you plan on pulling this off?" Yelena asked.

"I was hoping you might help me figure that out." Y/n threw back the question. Yelena rolled her eyes.

"So you came to us for help empty handed?"

"Well I would argue dedication and sheer will counts for something." Y/n puffed out his chest, he clearly has nothing.

"We don't even know if Natasha likes Wanda back." Pietro chimes in, which earns him a raised eyebrow from the two Russians.

"It's hard to miss."

"Yeah, I can see the oblivious genes runs in the Maximoff's."

Maybe it was less obvious to someone who was not close to Natasha, she was a trained spy overall. And these two were practically raised to be more observant than others. Or that could just be the oblivious Maximoff genes.

"All I know is, Wanda has had this crush ever since she stole Natasha's jacket."

Y/n furrowed his eyebrows at Pietro. "Wasn't that like... a year ago with Ultron?" Yelena barks out a laugh, "You mean to tell me she's been pinning on Natasha for a year??"

Pietro shrugs his shoulders and smirked, "Wanda has bigger pool, but I'm the one getting all the girls."

"Barf-" Yelena said while fake gagging, earning a jab on the rib by Pietro. "If we want a shot for our dearest love birds we have to be quick, cause I'm noticing a certain android having his eyes on Wanda."

"Who, the toaster?" Pietro said while cringing his face.

"Ok... I can see you don't seem so fond of the guy, and Vision's not so bad y'know-" Y/n said, it's not that he was close with Vision. But he didn't understand why Pietro would look so utterly disgusted.

"No, he's not bad. But if this works out, you and I would be brothers for real, y'know?"

Damn... This was true brotherhood. "Bro..."

"Bro..."

The two hugged like it was something out of a bromance movie. Yelena could only watch with her arms crossed, wondering what the fuck was going on. However, while the two gym rats were having their moment, a plan formed in her mind.

-------

The trio sprang into action in an instant, ordering a bunch of pizzas, heading to the city to grab some supplies, thankfully alcohols were already taken cared of.

"Ok! Now we just need everybody here." Y/n said with a satisfied grin whilst taking a shot to give himself a head start. Yelena mimicked his movement and so did Pietro.

"FRIDAY, assemble the team to the common room." The AI gave Pietro the acknowledgement, soon enough the team entered the common room with a confused look.

"What's going on?" Steve was first to spoke up as he looked around the decorated room with food and beverages.

Wanda glances to a certain redhead a few meters away from her, Natasha initially had a bored look on her face, arms crossed, and was probably mentally preparing herself to whatever the hell her siblings had in mind. And it was as if the spy felt a pair of eyes on her she looked to the side and locked eyes with Wanda, instantly, the corner of Natasha's mouth pulled into a tiny smile and a small shrug.

Wanda blushed instantly and turned her gaze to the floor, tucking a hair behind her ear. The trio, saw this and glances at one another.

"Well dearest teammates." Y/n started, taking a microphone and speaking to it as if he was an mc. "Tonight will be the night-"

"What's with the mic, Y/n?" Natasha asked with a roll of her eyes.

"I was getting there," He responded while putting his hand up, "Tonight Is the night we let loose!" He whooped, yet the only one cheered with him was Pietro.

"Seriously?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

Y/n scoffed at his teammates, looking at all the low faces and annoyed faces. "Sam! Come on, you're always game." He asked, needing ATLEAST someone to be in it.

Sam sighed, "Man, I would but honestly I was looking forward to sleep early tonight." Y/n looked at him as if his heart had been stabbed.

"Wanda??" He asked his best friend, and Wanda groaned at him. Oh this was a rough start.

"Honestly, I'm in the mood for some me time and not... whatever this is." She replied indicating to the alcohol bottles on the table.

"Sorry kid, looks like everyone is super tired." Steve added with a pity look, "Maybe next time plan things out."

"But that's boring!" Pietro exclaimed, and speeds to every single one handing out a shot glass filled with vodka.

"It's not just any normal drinking night, there's singing involved." Yelena finally chimed in while dunking another shot.

"Yelena, you can't possibly be part of this." Natasha asked her sister, and Yelena shrugged in respond.

"Any reason to grab Tony's alcohol is as good as any." The blonde replied.

Everyone glanced at one another, shot glass in hand, contemplating their decision. "Think of it like a team bonding." Y/n talked again, he cocked his head at Yelena who turns on a song and a familiar tune started playing, a song that would get anyone from any generation dancing (excluding Steve, perhaps). Dancing Queen by Abba.

Y/n had a goofy grin on his face, dancing into the tune, Pietro followed through while Yelena occasionally bopped her head. Sam was the first to grow a grin on his face. Steve, Natasha and Wanda looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "It's Abba!" The falcon said as a matter of factly, he then downed in shot.

"That's the spirit!" Y/n said excited as Sam danced to his direction.

Hesitantly, cap started to walk forward earning a disbelief gasp from Natasha. "Rogers, really...?"

"I mean, I really did enjoyed Mama Mia...." The American boy said with a sheepish smile.

As soon as the lyric's intro came in, Y/n puts an arm around Steve with a microphone in hand. "You can dance!"

"You can jive!" Sam pulled the microphone to himself.

"Having the time of your life!" Those who were already in the circle sang simultaneously, Natasha rolled her eyes but if you squint you could see a tiny smile there. Meanwhile Wanda shifted closer to Natasha watching the group in amusement.

"See that girl!" Y/n pointed at the two, and the other followed. "Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen." He sang, "Come on dancing queens get in here!"

Natasha shook her head fondly, holding back a smile.

"Wanda, Wanda, I know you want to join us girrlll..." Y/n said playfully to his best friend, the boys and Yelena were beckoning her to join. Natasha looked to her side and true enough, Wanda was biting her lips, contemplating whether or not she should join. "You like this song don't lie! Natasha, help me out." Wanda did in fact like this song.

The way her body swayed subtly to the rhythm, her eyes glinting with anticipation, the only thing that's holding Wanda back was herself. Fuck it, Natasha thought to herself. She then held Wanda's arms and dragged her into the group who cheered when they joined. "Wha- Nat, no I-"

"Come on, little witch." Natasha said, turning to face Wanda and raised her shot glass. "Loosen up a bit."

God, Wanda couldn't decline, especially when her crushed smirked like that. They clinked their shot glass and downed their drinks.

------

As the clock got closer to midnight, the more they drank, and the more they drank, the more chaotic it gets. The song they choose ranges to many different genres, in the beginning Pietro and Y/n mostly sang something boyish, like rap or rock. Then as the two gets progressively drunker they sang something what would be describe as 'Girly Pop'.

Steve sang some old 40s song, which was refreshing especially after hearing Y/n's off tune singing voice. Everybody except Natasha was surprised to hear Yelena singing American Pie wholeheartedly, Natasha even sat next to her and sang it with her briefly.

Although the highlight of the night was probably the time Yelena, Pietro and Y/n sang and dance to the song 'Wannabe' by Spice Girls. Natasha had to hid her face with her hand while Sam was laughing his ass off and leaning to Steve for support. Wanda was like a giggling maniac the whole time as she was secretly recording it for some black mailing material on her twin.

Mid-song, Yelena pulled her brother subtly and pushing a very drunk Pietro forward. "Take it for a spin, Maximoff!"

"So, here's a story from a to z-!" Pietro started rapping his part drunkenly.

"She's not drunk enough." Yelena said to Y/n who was trying to stable himself.

"Yep, the alcohol hasn't hit her yet, and Pietro's not going to be much help-" Y/n covered his mouth suddenly as he felt a vomit, he then answered after seeing Yelena's raised eyebrow. "Sorry- Don't worry I got this, hold a bottle."

"Slam your body down and wind it all around!" Pietro continued singing with Yelena twirling his ass in what this generation would describe as 'slay' manner, Y/n drunkenly sauntered over to Wanda who panicked when he started pulling her to the make shift stage.

"No- No, let me go, Y/n!" Wanda protested.

"Just take a shot and come with!" Y/n practically yanked her and they stumbled over to the middle of the living room. "Cheers!" He said while knocking his glass with hers and Wanda finally relents and knocked back her shot.

"-make it last forever, friendship never ends!" Y/n sang while putting an arm around his best friend, Wanda cringes at the bitter taste of the alcohol, she had a few drinks in already but she was never really fond at the taste of vodka.

"Wanda!" Yelena said, suddenly putting an arm around the her as well. "Oh, honey, you emptied your glass already."

"N-no, Yelena, I just dra-"

"Don't you worry, I got you." Yelena said while pouring her another shot, Wanda's eyes widens. She glances to the side and locked eyes with Natasha who raised a teasing eyebrow at her. "Yes, now we cling!" The blonde haired woman said while raising her glass.

Reluctantly, Wanda clinked their glass awkwardly and took a deep breath before taking another shot. She doesn't know how many shots she have taken from that moment, all she knew was that she felt like dancing.

Natasha watched as Wanda's dance move progressively become more fluid and at ease in contrast to her usual shy self. The spy smiled to herself, dance with her. Natasha shook her head at the impulsive thoughts. At some point during the song 'Teenage Dreams' by Katy Perry, Wanda was handed a mic by Yelena. Thankfully this time Wanda was drunk enough not to refuse, and instead grinned like a goof.

When Wanda sang the second verse, Natasha almost lost her breath because she sounded so... beautiful.

"We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach. Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets."

Wanda sang with her eyes closed, smile on her face, swaying her body to the rhythm. "I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete." The witch opened her beautiful green eyes just to have a similar looking ones staring right back at her.

Wanda giddily approached Natasha and extend her hand, "Wanda-"

"Come onn, Tasha!" Wanda pleaded. Tasha, well that's new-

Natasha hesitantly looked around, the trio were holding onto each other while slurring to the song, Sam had passed out, and Steve... Well, he gave Natasha a knowing look before helping Sam up to his feet and gave Natasha a look that says 'Don't mess this up, Romanoff.' And walking off with a drunken Sam.

"We can dance, until we die. You and I..." Wanda sang waiting for Natasha to finally grab her hand, finally the spy relents and took the witch's offering hand. "-we'll be young forever!"

Wanda practically yanks Natasha into the middle of the living room.

"You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream. The way you turn me on, I can't sleep. Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back!"

The younger woman puts a hand on Natasha's shoulder, swaying her hips while singing the lyrics. Natasha was unsure if she should put her hand on Wanda, keep it to the side, on Wanda's waist perhaps?

"My heart stops." The witch suddenly tilt Natasha's chin so their eyes meet. "When you look at me," Natasha's breath hitched in her throat, "just one touch...." And the rest of the lyrics seems to died on Natasha's ears as all she could see was a drunken state Wanda making her confession crystal clear.

Wanda turned and moved her body sensually against Natasha, without hesitation, the older woman puts a firm hand on Wanda's hips to guide her moves. Wanda shivered when she felt Natasha's hot breath on her ear. "Imma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans." She grabs Natasha's hand and trail it up her body, a silent plea to the older woman to touch her. "Be your teenage dream tonight..."

Fuck... if Natasha had no self-restraint, she would've taken Wanda here and there. "Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans" Wanda turns around to face Natasha again and this time the younger one guided Natasha's hand to rest on her thighs. "Be your teenage dream tonight...."

The song reached it's mini pause. Wanda, almost in desperation and system full of alcohol wrapped her arms around Natasha and leaned in til their nose was touching. "I want to kiss you so bad..." She whispered.

"I-" The redhead was at lost for words, her eyes looking deep into those beautiful green eyes, searching for any signs of hesitation. Blown pupils were looking right back at her, slowly it travels down to Natasha's lips. Fuck this.

As soon as the song started again, Natasha gently cup Wanda's face with one hand and pulled her into a soft kiss. Oh Wanda's heart could explode right about now, for a second her mind became stone-cold sober so it could remember this moment properly. Wanda drops the microphone she was holding and puts her hand on the older woman's cheeks, using her thumb to caress her soft delicate skin.

"You make me, Feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back."

The two women were now lost in their own world, they failed to notice the cheers from their own respective (very drunk atm) siblings. Wanda was taller than Natasha, but she went on her tippy toes and wrapped her slender arms around the spy. Natasha craned her neck a little, smiling into the kiss, her arms securely on (her) the little witch's waist.

"My heart stops, when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby I believe this is real. So take a chance and don't ever look back."

Wanda felt like she was on cloud nine, feeling Natasha's soft lips on hers. Oh those sweet plump lips she's been day dreaming about for months, honestly, she felt like the main character in a movie. A teenager if you will in a coming off age movie, is this what Simon felt like from Love, Simon? The song was quite spot on, as Natasha made her feel like a teenager once again, or at least what she assumes a teenager would feel. She never really got to properly enjoyed her teenage years, but here she is. With the woman of her dreams.

"We're siblings for real!" They finally broke the kiss after hearing a drunken Y/n made the statement, arms on both Yelena and Pietro who were just as equally drunk as him. Pietro mimicked his sentence, and Yelena only nodded her head while occasionally raising her glass. Natasha and Wanda shared a look as they held each other, the spy snorted while her counterpart giggled at the scene.

It seems like the trio had put Katy Perry's song on shuffle, because the beat to 'Last Friday Night' started playing.

They started chanting "We did it!" matching their words to the tune of the song, the two couple shared a look.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Natasha asked, a small smile on her face.

"Yes, please." Wanda replied shyly before being dragged out of the living room by Natasha.

-------

The witch woke up groggily on her bed, her eyes needed time to adjust to the light that were peaking into her room. She groaned and fell back onto the bed with a thud, shielding herself from the light like a vampire allergic to it. "Ugh... what did Yelena put in my drinks." She grumbles.

All of the sudden everything came rushing back into her memory like a tidal wave. I kissed Natasha...

She hastily sat on her bed and looked around. She remembered they kissed, but... how did they end up here. Wanda remembered Natasha asking her to move out of the living room, oh my god did we slept together? The witch's face started to match her battle suit as she thought of the possibility, wish I could've remembered.

Her throat felt dry so she decided to grab herself some drinks in the kitchen. And to her surprise, Natasha was already there. Humming to herself and cooking breakfast, Wanda let in a sharp breath at the sight. Of course, being the trained spy that she is, Natasha greeted Wanda without having to turn around.

"Good morning, Wanda. Slept well?" Natasha asked kindly.

"I don't know how you do that." Wanda muttered.

The spy chuckles to herself, "What I was trained for, little witch. I already put a glass of water for you by the table. Bacon and eggs alright?"

Wanda glanced at the table and surely enough Natasha already prepped a big jug of water and a glass for her. "Oh thank you, you're a godsent..." The younger woman took a seat and dawned her water, and then also her second glass of water.

Natasha walked by her and set a plate for both herself and Wanda. "What a night was it?" She said with a hint of tease.

The brunette only nodded her head while drinking her water like it was the last one on earth. She dropped her glass with a sigh of relief and glances at Natasha, a faint blush appeared on her cheek almost immediately. Wanda cleared her throat before answering, "It was, thank you for breakfast."

"You're welcome." She replied simply, her body still angled a little to the side, one arm propped on the head of the chair whilst staring intently at Wanda.

"Natasha, I..." Wanda started, oh god suddenly her throat feels dry again. The spy gave a small nod, urging her to continue. The younger woman started fidgeting with her finger. "I don't regret it," Wanda finally looks at her. "Kissing you, all of it, I don't regret any of it."

A smile tugged the corner of Natasha's lips, but before she could answer, Wanda started rambling on.

"B-but it's ok if you don't feel the same. Or that it was just a heat in the moment kind of thing."

"Wanda, relax." The older woman put a gentle hand on Wanda, she inhaled sharply at Natasha's action. "Listen... I'm no better at this. However, if your interested, I would like to take you out on a date." Natasha smiled at her, oh god, Wanda's heart was beating a mile minute. Wait, wait, she said date?

"I- Yes, I would love that." Wanda averted her gaze, the intensity of Natasha's green eyes was too much. The sheer intensity of the spy's gaze could turn her into a puddle of mess.

"Good, I've been dying to try this restaurant." Natasha said while turning her body now to face her breakfast, she took one bite of the bacon before continuing. "I hope Southeast Asian cuisine isn't too spicy for you." The spy said teasingly.

"Oh please, you underestimate me." Wanda responded with a slight bump of their shoulders, yet a question still lingers on her mind. "Hey uh... Sorry, I was just wondering. Did we uh... do anything?"

"What do you mean? We kissed." Natasha answered cluelessly.

"Yeah, but I remember you took me to my room. I couldn't remember anything from there, so... I was just wondering if we did anything." Wanda asked, her voice progressively gets more timid the more she explains.

"Hmmmm, like what? Watching a movie?" The spy said while looking up to the ceiling as if deep in thoughts, small smirk on her face.

"Tasha, stop messing around." Wanda said with a playful eyeroll.

"Tasha, huh? That's new." She continued to teased her little witch. Wanda playfully pouted her lips, of course Natasha couldn't help but give in to that. "Don't worry, little witch, nothing happened. I took you to your room, we made out for a little bit and before you finally fell a sleep in my arms. It was a adorable." Natasha added the last bit with a shrug and a smirk.

Wanda's face got increasingly red, "Ugh..." She groaned at hid her face in her hand. "I'm sorry."

"Don't hide that pretty face, as I said, it was adorable." Natasha pried away Wanda's hand, the witch relents and was greeting with a fond smile from Natasha. One she rarely saw, god she's so fucking beautiful.

And unfortunately for them, it had to be ruined by the trio... Again.

"Ughh.... my head-" Y/n groaned.

"I feel like skipping gym today." Pietro chimed in.

"Keep up." Yelena responded with a bored tone. She was sweating, probably went on a run.

Wanda and Natasha mentally cursed at themselves and returned to their own respective breakfast. The trio rummages through the kitchen, finding cereals and bowls, Yelena opted for an apple instead. They sat down across Natasha and Wanda, Y/n was first to point out the obvious of course.

"So...?" He asked them excitedly.

"So what?" Natasha raised an eyebrow at him.

Only for him to raised his eyebrow right back, "Did you guys shag?" Yelena piped in, Pietro groaned.

"No, don't answer that-" The older Maximoff covered his ears while Wanda shrunk in her seat.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Y/n yelled excitedly.

"First of all, we didn't." Natasha said firmly, "And second, I don't see how that's any of your business."

"Oh, but it is." The redhead narrowed her eyes at him, but it was too early to deal with her brother's antics.

"Look whatever you saw, zip it." Natasha stated, "I personally want to keep this under wrap, if this goes out to the press they're going to have a lot of questions and I don't want to deal with that."

"I'll second that." Wanda muttered, casting Natasha a grateful look to which the older woman smiled in response.

Y/n scoffed, "Whatever, I'm great at keeping secrets. Beside, I'm just glad the whole sexual tension can now be resolved-" He shuts up immediately upon seeing Natasha's glare.

After a few minutes of silence and eating their breakfast, Y/n's phone notification started going off like crazy. "Oh, Piet I think one of our videos got viral."

"Where let me see." Pietro leaned over to take a look, and upon opening the app, their eyes quickly widens. "Why would you upload that?!"

"I didn't! I must've- Fuck..." Y/n panicked, and by that, really panicked.

"What's going on?" Natasha asked.

"Nothing!" The two men said simultaneously, fuck... if Natasha finds out they're screwed. However, before they could delete the evidence, Natasha snatched the phone from her brother's hand. Wanda leaned closer to take a look and gasped. Yelena only snorted and excuse herself as she had an idea where this was going.

It was a footage of them, kissing, wrap up in each other's arms, lip tight in a passionate lock. Fuck, Katy Perry was right, Pictures of last night ended up online and they were screwed. "Y/n..." Natasha said warningly.

Without a second thought Y/n dashed away from the table with Pietro who zooms past him with his superspeed.

"I'll fucking kill you both!" Was Natasha's last word before hunting them down one by one.

[ceasarslegion]

Personally I think someone materially showing up for me and other trans people is more important than whether or not they like harry potter. Like I legit do not give a fuck either way if they are actually showing up for me when it matters. I know this is a controversial take on the "your media tastes determine your absolute morals" website but I really do not care if someone has their hogwarts house in their bio, I care if they treat me like an equal and defend my human rights. And I really don't like how having a differing opinion to other trans people makes me get treated like I'm some kind of traitor to my own community just because I don't ascribe to the most aggressive viewpoint about things. I did not care that people sold HP art at the con I went to last week, that's not giving JKR any money, I cared that they had trans pride flags. I think we need to stop seeing activism as a question of "how can we epically own the people who hate us the most" and instead as a question of "how do we help the people who need us."

And honestly I think we need to stop being so OBSESSED with if other people still like HP or not. If they aren't giving her money then I. Don't. Care. I want to talk about transphobia I face without the conversation DERAILING into callout posts over the huge offense of someone... having a HP url on tumblr. It happens every single time and it annoys the shit out of me.

[imthepunchlord]

Okay, so this might be random, but I've been reading a lot about your recent miraculous rewrite/overhaul, and it reminded me of this other person on Tumblr who posts a lot of stuff on pre-canon/concept miraculous and miraculous artbook stuff. So, I wanted to share some fun pre-canon stuff. They even have a Website about it: https://www.artbookwiki.com/home

Ok, for starters, Marinette was originally going to live in an apartment building in Belleville (which from what I've been told (so don't quote me on this) is kind of Paris's Chinese District. And instead of a balcony Marinette would just hangout on her roof.

Also on Marinette's parents, instead of being bakers, Tom was originally a cartoonist (the more look into this character you start to see a lot of parallels to Thomas Astruc) and Sabine was going to be a lawyer.

Also Fu might have been planned to be Marinette's Grandfather

And lastly, I'll mention Alya. Apparently, she was originally meant to have an interest in fashion like Marinette and might have originally planned to have a crush on Chat Noir.

Also to quote the person who posted all this (I'm leaving her name out so people don't spam her, she's seemed pretty stressed lately):

"From the 9/7/2012 bible: As eccentric as Marinette is classic, Alya wears extravagant outfits, swinging from gothic to geeky. She takes pride in being nothing like the others. It's her way of distinguishing herself. Alya is perfectly at ease with all things technology and telecommunications. Moreover, she's a budding reporter for the college newspaper!... Alya shares her bedroom with her younger sister. The room is divided in two. Alya's half is lined with posters of comic book superheroes, the floor is strewn with cables connected to an imposing DIY computer station.... Besides, she has theories on everything, admittedly- they are often very absurd. She dreams of gaining powers and becoming a heroine like Ladybug... Alya doesn't understand how Marinette can fall for Adrien, On the other hand, Alya finds Cat Noir super classy, ​​molded into his somewhat gothic leather uniform. Oh! If only Alya was Ladybug..."

Thank you for sharing! Some I didn't know, though honestly, a lot of this I'm not surprised to see.

Marinette was always kinda planned to be closer to her Chinese roots. One of the better reflections of this are concept art of her room.

And even in the Miraculous movie, she was planned to come from a small community in China's countryside.

And it's a shame that these keep getting cut out. Her ties to China is really disconnected, and I'm certain it's largely done to be more marketable for a broader audience.

I think this deleted scene from the movie bothers me the most, cause it adds so much depth to the Dupain-Cheng household. It adds to Tom and Sabine as characters, and it may be the first time I really liked them as characters and as parents. And it explains a lot about Marinette's character, why she's such a giver and provider, cause she grew up in a community that was like a close knit family, and helped each other no questions asked. It just backs why she's that way, she was raised that way. It comes natural to her.

Her parents do surprise me, but you know, I could see it. Them being bakers always felt kinda random, but that could bee from the show just not doing anything with it.

Fu doesn't surprise me too much, especially as the show does work off that older concept. You do get a grandfather-granddaughter feel from them, and it does make sense for her to have a direct family tie to Miraculous as she is heavily tied to it as a lead and it being apart of her heritage. Shame that got moved onto Adrien and had nothing really don't with it.

And you know, Fu being related to Marinette isn't a stretch as it is canon that he had younger siblings.

If not her grandfather, he could be a very great uncle.

And as I like the idea more that he got separated from his family and the Guardians were not able to locate them and reunite him with them and defaulted to training him to be a Guardian as they couldn't exactly let a kid go, I do like the idea of him eventually finding his family again, even if it's a descendant of one of his siblings.

Alya doesn't surprise me at all. You could really see it in her concept art.

And it slightly carried over into canon as Alya was the one who knew Adiren was a fashion model when Marinette didn't. For canon, it's very random for her to know, but makes more sense when you know that she used to be into fashion, and that just continues the show's trend of changing from older concepts but also still semi sticking to them without fully committing.

And it just really makes sense as most friendships are born through a shared interest. Marinette is expected to have at least one fashion friend. Marinette and Alya had a good start for their friendship, but the momentum of it struggled as most of their interactions came down to being about Adrien, and it's very, very, very rare for them as friends to bond and focus on something else than Marinette's crush.

Also, given how well off Alya looks since she can attend fashion shows and get front row seats (and maybe has a bodyguard?), and can spend a lot of money...

I wonder if Alya was ever considered to be the mayor's daughter at some point. For sure, she was incredibly well off older concepts.

And with her previously having a crush on Chat, I guess that's where they got the thought for Rocketear.

I am kinda glad they removed that, cause given their track record, especially having the known liar character say two girls can crush on the same guy and be friends, chances are incredibly high that hero!Alya would've soured her friendship with Ladybug over Chat.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm not really interested in seeing best friends turned enemies over a guy. It feels like an old cliche that can go. I'll take the Alya-Marinette friendship in and out of the mask. Even if it wasn't great overall, it's still better than what we could've potentially gotten.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

When did you start the original owl vid blog and what was it like? Was it more focused on reviewing owl videos? I’m just curious as to how you ended up involved in a bunch of discourse* about not-owls.

*lets just call it that for simplicity’s sake ahah

I made the original in either January or February 2020 after being frustrated to a breaking point seeing another video of an owl in an obviously bad situation being shared uncritically because the OP had mislead their followers about what was going on. “Oh this owl LOVES his kitten and duck friends!” “Oh look at this owl having SO much fun in the bubble bath!” It was endless. At the time there was genuinely no one questioning anything going on in any of them. My only outlet was to vent it to some of my friends in group chats and such. We would pass around different videos that ended up on our dashes and discuss the issues amongst ourselves just to be in a space where people actually said something because outside of those chats we were going mad seeing it time and time again.

I made the blog while scrolling tumblr aimlessly during a particularly long winded seminar I was sitting in on, I had reblogged a photo of a wild owl and tumblr began recommending various owl abuse videos mislabeled as cute. I had enough. I made a blog name and used large bold letters and emphasizing colors so my posts would be seen by people scrolling the reblogs. I scoured the entire owl tag and rated every single video I came across, typing paragraph upon paragraph detailing everything wrong with those photos and videos and it didn’t take more than a day or two before I had amassed a few thousand followers, people were interested. People were listening, there were a few “okay Karen” types here and there, but the large majority were willing to listen in a way I had never seen before. I had made posts like this on Facebook (not under an alias) and my posts were always immediately met with “who cares if the owl dies it’s just a fun video it’s not that deep let people enjoy things” and threats of lawsuits for “defamation” from the online personalities and “sanctuaries” i critiqued. To say tumblr was a breath of fresh air was an understatement, I have been on this website since ~2013-2015 (not on a themed blog, just various personal blogs I deleted and remade a few times, and a discourse blog or two mixed alongside a few admin slots making pride icons with cartoon characters for people), and I can honestly say this initial experience was the last thing I expected from this hellsite.

For the first few months, I wanted to hang onto that. I didn’t want to bring politics into it, this was just about owls and wildlife, I didn’t want to detract from the goal of educating people on how to spot animal abuse. And for a time that worked well. I was happy. The followers were happy. Until I started paying attention to the people following me and interacting with my posts. Usernames like “radical-clit” or “jake1488” would start to pop up more often. More icons would have kekistan pride flags, or just iron crosses outright. Some icons proudly just said “TERF is a slur” while others were naked white women in wheat fields. I had what I asked for, a truly “apolitical” space where everyone, even Nazis and TERFs felt very welcome.

And I took exception to that.

I made the first real post using my voice and my stances. I said trans women are women. I said Black Lives Matter. I said ACAB and I said wear a mask when COVID started to hit. I started blocking the ones that didn’t scatter from my blog like roaches, I went through my follower list manually and blocked every TERF, Nazi, and any other type of sleazeball I could find. I manually vetted a few thousand people.

This resonated with people. I expected backlash, and there was a fair shake of it, but I received more asks than I had before. Hundreds of strangers thanking me for making my stance clear and letting them know they were welcome. And that stuck with me.

I had made this blog to educate, and that is what I was going to do. So when I started getting asks from those opposed to my open sharing of political subjects, I responded to their hate mail as though it was a debate. I wasn’t trying to change their minds, I’m not that naive, it was to further educate anyone else reading about it, to tell the full story and to arm them with tools to fight back against bad faith talking points the right weaponizes. From that point on, I would get off topic asks questioning my political stances, and I continued to answer them. I wanted it to be clear where I stood because I did not want marginalized people to ever question if I was secretly a bigot.

I never stopped actually reviewing owl videos, however I did stop using the flashy long format responses to avoid annoying people. I had a following by then, I didn’t need to shout to be heard over scores of people fawning over animal abuse. I still rate videos today, but if it’s one that I’ve rated at all within the past year or especially one I’ve rated multiple times, I tend to ignore the message. I don’t go looking for them anymore for the same reason I’d imagine you probably don’t go out of your way to find videos of dogs and cats being abused. It’s upsetting, it’s emotionally tolling. There’s also only so many ways I can say “owls cannot safely cohabit with other species or more than one other owl”, “owls cannot swim well and don’t like being fully submerged in water for a viral tiktok”, or “owl cafes and pet keeping of owls are inherently abusive”.

If I’ve already rated three videos of people letting their toddlers or other pets manhandle large owls, do I really need to be sent six more? My point is Education, not sending as many upsetting videos of animal abuse as I can find to place on your dash and say things you already know if you’ve seen my other posts.

Anyway, for a shorter answer to your question: I get non-owl discourse consistently because I don’t shy away from addressing it. I don’t want my stances to be vague, I don’t want good people wondering if I support trump or genocide. I am a firm believer that silence is violence. I’m not going to do what white culture favors and simply look away and avoid the topic of injustices simply to make white users more comfortable.

This blog was never meant to be comfortable.

This is the “animal abuse is bad stop that” blog.

It would be weird of me to oppose animal abuse and them remain silent on abuses and injustices faced by human beings.

I don’t wake up in the morning saying “okay today will be 80% international politics, 12% discourse about the causes and ethics of pedophilia as a mental disorder, and 8% birds with 1% of that being owls. If someone asks me if I support trans rights I will answer them. If someone attacks me for that then I will respond to their attack.

If some days I don’t feel like looking for upsetting animal abuse and formulating an entire essay on why abusing said animal for entertainment is wrong, I do something else.

[cherri-soda]

About Me!

I can not believe I'm using Tumblr of all websites for a class at a real-life university that I pay thousands of dollars to every few months.

Hello!! I'm Ares, I use he/him pronouns, and I'm a 19-year-old second-year Junior. I'm majoring in computer programming & applications, but if you have no idea what that is, you can just think of me as a computer science major who can't do basic math and call it a day.

Outside of classes, I am a computer technology intern at the Innovation Hub and the Creative Chair for DevLUp @ FSU, and I'm an active member of the 2099 Comic Book Club, the Pride Student Union, Seminole Innovators, the Disabled Student Union, and the ASLC Film Committee. That is to say, I do a lot of things all of the time, and I am very tired.

Before I discuss my interests and successes, let me make sure you don't set the bar too high and discuss one of my failures. To briefly call back to my earlier "joke" about not being able to do basic math, I failed Calculus 2 three separate times at three separate colleges, which I think is honestly impressive. For this reason, I switched majors from meteorology to computer programming & applications, because meteorology required me to actually pass Calculus 2, and that clearly was not happening.

But! Within one semester, I remembered that I like computers so much more than I like most other things. So now, I've returned to the state I was in in high school: an autistic man who sits at his computer for several hours at a time until people want to call wellness checks on him. Except this time, instead of playing video games until I develop permanent nerve damage (oops), I spend my time making video games! My current game development project is a survival role-playing game with a working title of Mundane Mundane, which is a thinly-veiled metaphor for being transgender in modern society. I've helped with a few others for game jams, but I've only been properly developing games for about a year, so I don't have much to show for it at all!

I'm done yapping, here's my cat:

His name is Jazzy, and I love him more than life itself. I hope you love him too.

Goodbye and good luck.

Here's me in an elevator? Not sure why.

[ollieofthebeholder]

And If Thou Wilt, Forget: a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 20: To know he still is warm though I am cold

The morning’s rain had stopped and the small amount of fog that had followed it had burned away, but the sky was still leaden grey, and there was just a bit of a nip in the air. It was honestly Gerry’s favorite kind of weather, especially now. He’d always been one for the dreary, gloomy days of late autumn and early winter—it suited his aesthetic and his personality alike—but this year he’d been particularly delighted when the weather started changing. And until today, he hadn’t understood why.

Whistling under his breath, he let himself into the flat and started to drop the keys into the bowl that sat on the table by the door, then stopped and stared at it for just a moment. There was nothing special about it, just a shallow wooden dish that didn’t really work well for eating or serving out of. When they’d moved Tim in, he’d set it on the little hall table right inside the door that had never served as anything but something for Gerry to catch his hip on when he tried to get through the door too quickly, and it was just where he dropped his keys and wallet when he came in the door. He’d never said a word to Gerry about it, but somewhere along the line, Gerry had started putting his own keys and wallet in there as soon as he got in, too.

There were a lot of little things like that around the flat, small, subtle marks they’d made on one another. The cookbooks on the shelf in the kitchen, the mingled clothes in the closet and dresser in the bedroom, the row of hooks behind the door where Tim’s heavy wool coat hung next to Rowlf’s lead. There were a few things out haphazardly, a couple disarranged throw blankets or half-finished projects, but the barely organized chaos from before was nowhere to be found…but then, neither was the rigid, almost antiseptic environment of the house Tim had lived in before he came here. Gerry had taught him to loosen his control, while Tim had taught Gerry to take a bit of pride in his appearance and surroundings. They were a good fit for one another.

A bumping noise from the back of the flat made him laugh. He tossed keys and wallet into the bowl, hung his coat on the hook, and headed back to the bedroom that had once been his mother’s. The second he opened the door, Rowlf burst out in a whirlwind of wagging tail and licking tongue. Gerry spent a few minutes fussing over him, took him out to do his business, then made sure there was water in his bowl before heading into the sitting room. Rowlf followed him and flopped down at his feet, head on his shoes. Gerry smiled down at him for a moment before reaching for the phone.

The phone rang three times before Tim’s voice came over the line, crisp and professional and just a hair distracted. “Good morning, Magnus Institute Archives, Tim Stoker speaking.”

Obviously he hadn’t looked at the caller ID before answering. Gerry thought about playing into it, but he was in too good a mood to stall the conversation much longer. “Did I call the trunk line instead of your personal one?”

“Hey, babe!” Tim’s voice instantly brightened. “Sorry, I was expecting a call back on a statement.”

“I can call back later,” Gerry said, knowing full well Tim wouldn’t agree to that.

“No, it’s good, I’m good…hang on.” Tim took the phone away from his mouth, but he was still clearly audible, so he’d dropped the phone but not muffled it against his shoulder. “Hey, if Jon asks, I’m just stepping out to take a call, okay?”

Someone in the room gave a quiet assent, and Gerry listened contentedly to the sounds of Tim getting up and making his way through the Archives. A door opened, a door shut, and then Tim’s voice came back more strongly. “I’m back. Sorry I didn’t wake you up before I left this morning, but you just looked so comfortable.”

“It’s okay. I probably needed the sleep.” Gerry drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. “You know what today is?”

“Fourth of November.”

“You know what’s significant about that?”

Tim hummed. “Grand opening of the first true Tube line?”

Gerry paused. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah. 1890. King William Street to Stockwell. Prince Edward cut the ribbon, but it wasn’t actually open to the public until the eighteenth of December.”

“Do I even want to know how you know that?”

“Lou had one of those This Day In History calendars the year I started working for her. That one stuck out.” Tim laughed. “I doubt that’s what you had in mind, though. Tell me, what’s significant about the fourth of Nov—”

He stopped abruptly. Gerry could hear the wheels turning in his head and decided to preempt him. “Yeah. Twelve months since my surgery.”

“Fuck.” Tim exhaled hard. “Your follow-up appointment is today, isn’t it? What time? I can probably get Jon to let me out for the afternoon or—”

“Just got home, actually,” Gerry admitted. “I kind of forgot about it until yesterday and, well, I didn’t want you to fret about it. I know we haven’t…really talked about it, but…you know.”

“Gerry.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Gerry bit his lip for a moment. “I do actually wish you’d been there.”

Tim was quiet for several moments. Finally, he said softly, “Okay. I’m sitting down. Give it to me. What did they say?”

Gerry frowned, momentarily puzzled. Then he replayed the conversation they’d just had in his mind, and guilt stabbed through his gut. “Oh. Oh, shit, Tim, no. No, nothing like—I’m fine. All the tests came back clear. I am one hundred percent tumor free. The surgery worked, the treatment worked, it’s—I’m okay. I just wish you’d been there to hear it with me.”

“Jesus, Ger, you scared the hell out of me.” Tim let out a relieved-sounding laugh. “They don’t think it’s likely to come back?”

“It wasn’t cancer. Just a tumor. They said all the tests showed it was more or less benign, and it was an anomaly. So no, it’s not coming back.” Gerry ran his free hand over the spot they’d cut into to remove it. “Doc said if I made it to this point, I’ve got nothing left to worry about.”

“That’s wonderful. Seriously. You were probably right not to tell me about it, I’d have been stressing all morning if I couldn’t be there with you, but…I’m glad you’re okay.” Tim took a deep breath. “I’ve got to get back to work, but…I’ll see you when I get home, okay? I love you, Gerry.”

“I love you, too, Tim.”

They didn’t say it often. Or, well, they did, but in a casual way, as part of everyday conversation. Breakfast is on the table, can you pick up milk on the way home, did you walk the dog, love you. The words were little more than punctuation to the sentences of their daily lives. It was when they actually spoke the I that it was important, that it meant…no, it always meant something, but it meant more when they made it a full sentence. Or at least that was how it felt to Gerry. He still wasn’t one for romance—neither was Tim—and he hadn’t exactly had a lot of love growing up, but he sure knew what it was now. It was a hand under his elbow while they wobbled on razor blades across a slippery surface and a set of fingers around his during takeoff and landing. It was regular meals and a fully stocked pantry. It was a water bottle that never seemed to be empty while he was painting and a bed that was always made with clean sheets when he was tired. It was having his own space but knowing someone else was there if and when he wanted company. It was running to share a joy when something good happened and reaching out for comfort when trouble came his way. It was the way Tim just fit, effortlessly, into his life and didn’t so much make him feel like he’d found something he’d been missing as he gave a richer, fuller experience to what was already there.

Saying I love you took a lot less time than all of that.

Gerry slowly replaced the receiver on the cradle, then got to his feet. There were a lot of things he could probably be doing—more research into the Unknowing, hunting for signs of Gertrude, going over Leitner’s catalog and seeing if he could track down more books to destroy—but he decided, fuck it, he was entitled to a day off. Especially given the news he’d gotten. The world wasn’t ending today, in any sense of the phrase, so he was going to take time for himself.

He headed into the back room they had designated as his studio, another change Tim had made, albeit more blatantly. As a kid, the only space Gerry had been given for his own had been his bedroom, where he’d slept, hidden from his mother, listened to music, and worked on his art. Even after her death, he’d been quietly afraid to spread out. He’d started to pack his things away entirely when Tim moved in, but Tim had insisted he at least have somewhere he could use them if he wanted to. So after cleaning the hell out of the room she’d used as a workroom, they’d set it up for Gerry’s art.

He actually didn’t feel like working back there, though. Not today. After a moment’s thought, he grabbed the drawing board, a few sheets of paper, and his pencils, then went back into the sitting room. Turning on the stereo and letting the death metal fill the room—not too loud, he didn’t want to hurt Rowlf’s ears—he propped his feet up on an ottoman, balanced the board on his knees, and began sketching.

Time, presumably, passed. The music kept playing, and Gerry paused occasionally to contemplate his next action or shake out his fingers, but for the most part he was unaware of anything going on around him until he felt a sudden weight on the top of his head. “When’s the last time you moved your legs?”

Gerry tilted his his head back with a smile, dislodging Tim’s arms. “Hi, Tim.”

“Hi.” Tim smiled back. “Answer the question, Delano.”

“Well, you’re home, so…a few hours, I’m guessing.” Gerry straightened out his legs and bit back a gasp as awareness of how stiff and sore they were came rushing in. “I was going to say ‘unless you’re here on your lunch break’, but nope, definitely been sitting here for a while. What time is it?”

“Half-six. I could tell you were pretty involved in your work, since you didn’t notice me come in, take the dog for a walk, and come back.” Tim slid his fingers along the back of Gerry’s neck and along his shoulder. “Would you rather go out or eat in tonight?”

“On a Wednesday? What’s the occasion?” Gerry asked without thinking.

Tim bent down and kissed his cheek. “You’re alive. Feels like something we should celebrate.”

Gerry turned and caught Tim’s lips with his own, quickly, before he could move away. “I’m game. Give me a minute to clean up and change and we’ll go somewhere special.”

They wound up at a rather upscale French restaurant, one of the pretentious, old-fashioned ones that didn’t have a social media presence and still had blind menus for women. Gerry assumed, when the couple ahead of them was turned away almost immediately, that the restaurant was booked, but to his mild surprise they were shown to a table right away, far enough from the music that they could converse but not so close to the kitchen that they would be bothered.

“The guy didn’t have a tie on,” Tim pointed out when Gerry mentioned it, sotto voce, after they had been left with assurances that their waiter would be with them shortly. “It’s that kind of place. There aren’t many of them left and certainly not in London, or at least not ones you don’t need a reservation for. I think the only reason we’re getting into this one is because it’s a Wednesday. Like you said, not many people go out to dinner on a Wednesday, and certainly not to a place like this.”

“Well, we’re far from typical,” Gerry said, earning a laugh from Tim.

There was a four-course prix fixe menu with complementary wines listed, and honestly the price wasn’t outrageous for what it seemed to entail. Even if it had been, though, screw it, they were celebrating. The waiter bowed after taking their order and left them with the bread rolls while he went to—presumably—put their order in, or possibly get their starters.

“So, how was work?” Gerry prompted once they were alone. “Everything on the level?”

Tim’s smile faded. “I wish. They got hold of another real one without me noticing.”

Gerry winced. “That’s, what, six now?”

“That I know of. I’m still digging into the one with the…teeth. Martin’s got this one, though.” Tim was quiet for a moment. “Um, I wanted to ask you about that, actually.”

“About Martin?”

“Yeah. Kind of. It’s…” Tim took a deep breath. “You’re mentioned in it.”

Gerry’s stomach flipped. “In…what kind of detail?”

“Uh. More than you’d like. It’s the guy who had the copy of Ex Altiora you burned.”

“Oh. That guy.” Gerry sighed. “That was only like three years ago. It definitely mentions that I—” He checked himself. Weirdly, discussing the Fourteen in public rarely caused anyone around them to bat an eyelash, but if he said it definitely mentioned that I allegedly murdered my mum, no matter how quietly, they’d draw the attention of the whole restaurant.

Tim winced, but nodded. “Yep. I, uh—they all know I’m dating someone, and I’ve mentioned you as Gerry to Martin at least, but I doubt any of them have made the connection, or have any reason to suspect my Gerry is that Gerard.”

Gerry had to admit, if only to himself, that he liked the sound of my Gerry. “So I guess your question is whether you should clue him in that you know me or not.”

“Yeah. I’m honestly a little surprised neither Jon nor Sasha has said anything to me—I have your address listed as mine in the employment records, they have to know it’s the same as Pinhole Books.”

“Well, we did change the shop name, even if I do forget to answer correctly sometimes,” Gerry pointed out. “Why wouldn’t they assume it’s a new business?”

Tim shrugged. “Even if they do, I’d still think they would ask. Even just a casual ‘hey, Tim, found any weirdly shaped bird bones lying around the floor of the shop?”

Gerry shuddered. “Don’t remind me. I still don’t know what that one actually did other than…you know, leak.”

Tim reached over the table and squeezed Gerry’s hand once, lightly, in a comforting gesture. “So what do you want me to tell Martin? Jon’s interested in talking to you—”

“I’m not interested in talking to him.” From what Tim had said about Jonathan Sims, he seemed like an okay guy, and he was trying to be at least a little less of an outward prick, but between the fact that they were still expecting Gertrude Robinson to come back at some point and the fact that he didn’t really want the extra scrutiny, Gerry wasn’t keen to talk to him. “Not about that incident, anyway. I don’t know how to explain…” He paused and bit his lip. “Uh, I never told you about how I met Gertrude, did I?”

The waiter returned with their starters and the sommelier, who presented them with the bottle—Gerry didn’t really know wines, but Tim seemed impressed—and poured them each a glass. When they were alone again, Tim spoke in a calm, level voice. “Other than pretending you were her grandson when we first met—very badly, I must remind you—we never really talked about it. She gave me the impression she mostly brought you in to help with Leitners, at least at first, so I figured it had something to do with that. But from what I got from the statement, I’m guessing your mum had one. Or something like a Leitner that never had his name attached to it. And if I had to go out on a limb, I'd say it was that one you had in your luggage when we were on our trip, the one locked up with about ten belts that you never read and were pretty subtle about making sure I didn’t touch.”

Gerry flushed. “I didn’t think you noticed that.”

“Gerry.”

“Okay, okay! I know.” Gerry took a deep breath. “It’s—I don’t know if it has a name or not. Doesn’t have his label in it, and there’s nothing like it in the catalog. Mum always just called it the Book. It’s—well, you’ve seen it.”

“I’ve seen the outside, anyway,” Tim said with a shrug. “I’m guessing you haven’t seen the inside, since you’re still here.”

Gerry winced. “About that.”

Tim, who had been about to cut into his starter, laid his fork down sharply. “Don’t tell me. What’s it…hang on.”

He studied Gerry, his eyes darting rapidly back and forth. Gerry braced himself for condemnation, but to his surprise—and relief—he saw nothing but sympathy and concern and a bit of sadness. “The End. That much is obvious. It’s left its mark on you, that’s for sure, but…Jesus, is that what—what everything that happened was all about? Something she got out of her book?”

“Kind of. More something she wanted to put into it, I think. See, all of the pages in it are…people. Or used to be people,” Gerry confessed softly. “She’d kill them, and then…I don’t know. Skin them, write their deaths onto them with a special pen she had for the purpose—it wasn’t like I got to watch, I sure as hell don’t know how she did it and I don’t want to. But if she read what was on the pages, she could…summon them. Or an echo of them, anyway. She used to do it sometimes to scare me, warn me what would happen to me if I didn’t do what I was told.”

Tim reached for Gerry’s hand again, and this time he didn’t let go. “And she was trying to do it to herself? While she was still alive?”

“Something like that. I think. Some kind of ritual to bind herself to it, but…it didn’t work. Obviously. She wanted me to help her, but I wouldn’t.” Gerry turned his hand over and laced his fingers with Tim’s. “Whatever it did…she was waiting for me when I got home after the mistrial. It had gone wrong, and she was trapped in this…half existence, instead of the master of death like she’d wanted. She said it was my fault.”

“You know it wasn’t, right?”

“Logically, yeah, but at the time it was hard to believe that. Got trapped with her for a few years more. Eventually she would…fade, I guess, and I’d try to run, burn as many Leitners as I could, whatever, but I never got very far. I was almost at the end of my rope when I met Gertrude. She listened to the story, then said she could help.” Gerry huffed a tired laugh. “Not sure I believed her, but I wanted to. But then she brought it back to me, and Mum’s pages were burnt out.”

Tim nodded slowly. “And then you kept helping her out of gratitude? Or because you thought you were paying her back for services rendered?”

“Why do I feel like you just called me a whore?”

“No, I called Gertrude a whore. You were paying her, which makes you the john,” Tim shot back.

Gerry barked out a laugh before he could stop himself. “Wherever she is, she just got the crystal clear thought that she needs to kill you immediately.”

Tim scoffed. “Please. She’s been called way worse than that.”

Their starters were starting to cool, so they both dug in and managed to finish just before the waiter returned with their salads. Conversation drifted to other topics, and Gerry could almost have fooled himself that they were any other couple on a date. Almost. At least for a while.

But because they weren’t any other couple, when their entrées came out, Tim waited until he had swallowed his first bite before he asked quietly, “Why didn’t she burn the whole thing?”

Gerry paused, fork halfway through slicing off his next bite. “What?”

“Your mum’s book. I get why you didn’t leave it in London while you were going around the world, that’s not something you want to risk someone breaking in and finding, but why would Gertrude have left most of it intact in the first place?” Tim cocked his head at Gerry thoughtfully. “Why wouldn’t she want it fully destroyed? It’s at least as dangerous as anything else in that catalog.”

“I—I don’t know,” Gerry said slowly. “Shit, it wasn’t even my idea to bring it along in the first place. I didn’t have it with me when we met up at the Institute, remember? You and I had been out at the pub. I assumed we were heading straight for Heathrow, but we went in completely the wrong direction to the bookstore and she told me to make sure I brought the book when I got my bag. I didn’t even question it.” He blinked. “Damn. She compelled me. Must have.”

Tim sighed. “I wonder if she’ll tell me her reasoning if I ask her?”

“She might. Or she might lie.”

“Only one way to find out, I suppose.” Tim settled back into his seat. “She’d better come back soon, though, or Sasha is definitely going to reorganize the Archives into a ritual.”

“Ha.” Gerry took a sip of the wine that had been paired with their latest course. “Not Jon?”

“Maybe by accident, but if he does, it’s because Sasha pushed him to do it. There’s something about that lady worth keeping an eye on, I just don’t know what.” Tim sipped at his own wine. “Jon’s got enough knowledge to be dangerous, sure, but mostly to himself. If we’re lucky, he’s just going to get himself killed.”

Gerry raised an eyebrow. “And if you’re not lucky?”

“If we’re not lucky, he’s going to get Martin killed.” Tim met Gerry’s eyes, and despite the teasing smirk on his lips, his eyes were deadly serious, even a little bit afraid. “Or me.”

[deadcactuswalking]

FAQ: REVIEWING THE CHARTS

Hi, i'm cactus, I maintain a primarily chart music-based review blog that is direly unsuccessful. I figured that I'd take the time today to note down some answers to some questions about me and my blog series REVIEWING THE CHARTS that mean I don't have to explain things week by week and new readers can have everything in a nice comfy place.

Q: What is your real name?

cactus. As far as you know I was Christened cactus, so call me cactus.

Q: Why the UK Singles Chart?

The UK is the country I unfortunately live in and as a result I know the most about its popular music traditions and trends. Additionally, it's also the country whose pop music affects me the most, i.e. listening to the radio or talking to friends and family about music.

Q: Why the UK Top 75?

For years I have covered the top 75 instead of the top 100 and this isn't so that I have less work to do. I used to cover just the top 40, but I expanded this into the top 75 in 2020. This is because, firstly, acharts.co is a pretty cool website and secondly, the British Market Research Bureau, considered to reflect the "official chart" during its existence by the Official Charts Company, had a top 75 for a moment. This was in response to rival record industry publications publishing top 100 charts, and therefore I decided to stick to the top 75, because if there's anything that represents the UK to me, it's trying to one-up your rivals doing something objectively better than you by being only 25% less inadequate.

Q: You're just a Spectrum Pulse rip-off.

That's not a question and yes, yes I am. Except with somehow even worse takes (love you Mark).

Q: Do you ever talk about anything else?

No. And I never will. On a serious note, whilst I do pride myself in how my chart review episodes go into... weirder territory than most chart reviewers, I don't often talk about non-charting music on this blog. I do have a RateYourMusic account however, and in my listening logs, I talk about music I listen to inside and outside of the charts as well as some movies. You can see those at the account exclusivelytopostown.

On this blog, outside of the UK Singles Chart, I've also done a vintage year-end 'best hits' list these past two years for years in the 2000s, using the Billboard Hot 100, and I'll probably end up doing the same this year. I've also talked about SpongeBob and will have a Pokémon-related post out in the next month, and honestly I want to broaden the scope of this blog sooner more than later. However, this is primarily still a weekly chart review blog and will stay that way for a while.

Q: Why Tumblr?

I started it on Tumblr, I'll end it on Tumblr.

Q: When does this series end?

When I or Lewis Capaldi dies.

Q: When will you die?

(checks diary) Tuesday the 6th.

Q: Why should I read your blog?

Because what other angry lesbian talking about the nuances of D-Block Europe could you possibly find on the Internet?

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy whatever else you end up reading on here.

[timidsketch]

THIS! THIS! I have been saying this for years. Most of the "activism" on Tumblr dot com is not only not activism, it's actively harmful to progress and equality. If you genuinely hate any privileged identity instead of the privilege itself, there is a problem with YOU. And that problem needs to be fixed just as much as the problem of oppression. Interpersonal discrimination cannot exist in an equal society.

Your hatred is the same hatred that has created exclusionists, radical feminists, terfs, oppression gatekeeping, and oppression hierarchies. But honestly, the fact I have to make this about how this harms "oppressed people" too says it all about the state of online "activism." And I have to put "oppressed people" in quotation marks because most of the people on this website believe there are somehow people who exist with zero oppression or hardship. The desire to make oppression a badge of pride and thus a rarer commodity has made it so that a person online is split into their separate identities and categorized on a "Us vs. Them" moral purity scale depending on who the person is being measured against.

I am a whole person who cannot be cut into just the specific parts that allow you the gall to abuse me. You do not have permission to slice me open and determine whether my sacrifice was worthwhile depending on the color I bleed.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[fourtwentie]

I'm getting to that point where I'm not only more sensitive to people and what they say irl or online, but i'm finding more angry chronically online people who are just too deep in the sauce to realize no matter how right their point is, they're still being an annoying asshole. (don't worry tumblr, its no one on here)

Honestly this whole past weekend was just totally shitty. I'm just trying to move on from it but I'm struggling to figure out how since I'm not that great at turning things around and I don't really have people close to me enough that I feel comfortable opening up to. I guess that's why I have so many blogs and journals lol, since I'm total shit at conversation but really good at rambling on.

I guess I just need to make some tea, put something on the tv that makes me laugh, and keep playing oblivion like i have been today. I'm sure I'll feel normal and less alone soon. OH and of course I need to smoke. Well, maybe. We'll see. Crazy to hear this from me but sometimes I spend a night sober by choice now. I really am getting boring these days. Maybe I should livestream on Reality and maybe get to talk about the wilder times I've been through. I've been thinking for years about how I'd love to start making youtube videos or stream, but the idea of failure is a little too scary to me, and I really need to get over that. I need to do these things for the fun of doing them and showing myself that I can.

I found a pretty cool channel the other day that talked about using Figma for UI design, and not only did it look fun, it looked like something even I could mess around with and make something. I wouldn't change my website with it, though. I just want to make something that might actually impress someone. Sometimes I wonder if I could really make some cool stuff (just in general) if I really tried, but I think the fear of trying hard and failing holds me back a lot. I keep going back to being in high school and college, where trying so hard and obsessing got me nowhere, I was still a failure. Having that happen to me over and over again just really destroyed my ability to motivate myself. I wonder though, is motivation a skill I ever learned? Did I ever have someone introduce such an idea to me? The problem is probably my brain working overtime to invalidate any outside encouragement by warping it into something less valuable or sinister. I assume people are just saying what they feel must be said, and not how they really feel or understand what they're saying at all. It's hard to kick that habit.

Everyone is going through something, though. I guess what I really need is to forget about myself and think about someone else's issues. But I kinda do that all the time? Sometimes I just feel like reaching out is not worth it. I reached out to old friends whom I slowly lost contact with, in hopes to just meet up one time to talk, but that always seems to fall through. even when it doesn't, I can tell from the awkwardness just how little I was wanted to be around them. I can tell I'm trying to force something that just isn't there. It's most telling when I become the only person who seems to try to reach out. So I guess I just take the hint. At this point it becomes kinda obvious to me how much people are involved in their own lives. I'm not really in a place to be bitter about that. I mean, shit, I'm not exactly thinking about anyone else right now and I'm not taking the time to be the person I wish I had for other people. I guess it just stings how much I'm getting old when I try and contact my parents on my own, only to have awkward silences and pauses in a conversation I'm the only one carrying with the only family I have. It's just a lot to take in. It feels a bit scary, because it really pushes home how alone I really am. Sure, I'm married, but one person who's busy at work and tired from work just isn't going to be able to be my entire social life and support system. Maybe I just have too much pride to reach out to my loved ones because I know they never do that to me, so why would I ask for something I've never earned? Why be that vulnerable when it could be used against me? Why make the first move of pushing a casual friendship into one that involves trust? Man, you can really tell how little I trust people when you observe my behavior. I will do anything to keep myself from being vulnerable around other people. Though funny enough, I am an open book to every social media outlet I've ever touched. Call that free therapy, lol.

But I can't be the only one who just never has any luck when they open up to people. I mean, what does it even DO, besides make you look like either an asshole or a loser and make you open to being hurt. Maybe I'm just too far gone to really be able to process emotions normally and effectively communicate with another person. I don't know.

[allthingsdarkanddirty]

BRAND NEW PARACOZY RELEASE! Familiar Magic and a Dead Wolf by Lia Davis is now live!!

Universal: https://geni.us/HowlingCreek1Read it #free with #KindleUnlimited!! BLURB:Howling Creek's favorite local forest ranger is no ordinary human, but she still masquerades as one. Just because she was born a witch doesn't exactly make Lexie all that powerful. After all, most witches have magic they can actually control, but Lexie's powers have been broken for as long as she can remember. Her gifts only show up on their own terms—usually unannounced—at the most inconvenient of times. Things have gotten so bad that Lexie's new familiar was compelled to take all her magic away.

Temporarily, of course.

Fortunately for Lexie, her day job doesn't require much supernatural skill. Working at The Ancients Agency doing forest patrol means she just has to watch for signs that the resident shifters are misbehaving. Keeping the wolf packs and leopard pride under control is well above her pay grade.

Which is honestly for the best considering that one of the wolf shifters just turned up dead.

When Lexie's supervisor tasks her with leading in the murder investigation, this would-be-witch finds herself face-to-face with Kellen Rich. As the Alpha of the Howlers Wolf Pack, he wants vengeance for his fallen pack member, and the crime is jeopardizing his attempts to forge a peace treaty with the rival wolf pack, the Dark Fangs.

Irresistibly handsome but extremely aloof, Kellen gives Lexie a few leads and a lot of interesting feelings. But she can't afford to worry about a crush when she's working to get her magic back all while hunting a killer. As the most cursed member of the coven, does she have what it takes to administer justice and keep the wolves from going to war?

#releaseblitz #releaseblast #releaseday #bookbirthday #booklaunch #newbooks #familiarmagicandadeadwolf #howlingcreek #paranormalcozy #paracozy #paranormalmystery #mysteryfiction #paranormalfiction #magicalfiction #supernaturalfiction #cozymystery #books #reading #readers #booklovers #bookbuzz #booknews

About Lia:

Lia Davis is the USA Today bestselling author of more than forty books, including her fan favorite Ashwood Falls Series. A lifelong fan of magic, mystery, romance and adventure, Lia's novels feature compassionate alpha heroes and strong leading ladies, plenty of heat, and happily-ever-afters.

Lia makes her home in Northeast Florida where she battles hurricanes and humidity like one of her heroines. When she's not writing, she loves to spend time with her family, travel, read, enjoy nature, and spoil her kitties.  She also loves to hear from her readers. Send her a note at lia@authorliadavis.com!

Follow Lia Online:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2LY50TH

BookBub: http://bit.ly/2N3X2dS

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Website: https://authorliadavis.com

[nathanprscott]

people on here love to preach kindness and acceptance but don't practise it themselves.

[nightmare-chaser]

Ok so I'll try my best here to explain, but also i might be missin info and also its been a while. As i remember/understand/experienced it, the porn ban was influential less because of the ban itself but more for the aftermath

So like, the ban itself, you yourself already hit on why it was such a big deal: porn was banned basically everywhere else. Tumblr was one of very few major sites where u could be horny and post nsfw without just being a porn site yknow, so we sorta had a culture around that. Like, horny on main was a thing that im pretty sure started there, there were jokes about how you couldnt check tumblr in public in case you accidentally saw a penis, jokes about having a mutual get horny late at night and putting dicks on your dash, just jokes about accidentally running into porn in general yknow, it was like a big pillar. Another aspect of it was that, at the time, tumblr also had a lot of sex workers, not the porn bot problem that's been around since site inception, just sex workers using tumblr as their main platform for their work since it wasnt exploitative like porn sites were. Tumblr was also just in general very sex-positive, and still is in some circles, and so the sudden ban of nsfw was just a kick in the face

So, the porn ban was big, not only did it forcibly sanitize a site that *did not want to be sanitized*, it also caused a lot of those sex workers a lot of problems since they couldnt work off here anymore. And that would be bad enough, *if* it had been done well

It wasn't.

Tumblr staff has gotten much better since it got bought by wordpress, but this was in the yahoo days and that was a fucking dumpster fire, yahoo nearly ran tumblr into the ground. We joke now about causing yahoo to lose 3 billion dollars, which is honestly a major point of pride since we did manage to run a corporation away from us, but the truth of it is that we got scary close to going down, there were many updates in those years where we'd have like a solid week after of people saying bye and how they had a nice time here and how to stay in contact, etc., the site shutting down was a reoccuring ghost

The porn ban was the first of those updates. People thought that tumblr was ending, was going to shit, and so there was a mass exodus in protest and also just in thinking tumblr was dying yknow, lots and lots of users fled the site to go to twitter instead

But it.... made the site better? Ok, wait, let me explain: the porn ban didnt do anything to improve the site, it actively made the site worse.

(It didnt get rid of porn bots, it didnt get rid of the pedophiles, it didnt get rid of the nazis, it did massively hurt queer creators on the queer website since, as with most porn bans everywhere, queer shit got marked as nsfw for wayyyy less than straight stuff, the ai they used to detect nsfw was so stupid it was flagging lots of completely innocent posts like flowers and buses and shit, and the ban rules themselves were misleading and incomprehensible and incompetent)

(We still joke about the "female-presenting nipples" line)

However, the people who fled to twitter? Turned out to be all the most dramatic discoursers we had. The people who stuck around were all the chill folks, so suddenly, almost overnight, tumblr went from a cesspit of the worst the internet had to offer to a bastion of chill energy. Dont get me wrong, we still have our stupid ass discourse, but it was wayyyyy worse back before the ban

So yeah, tl;dr - the porn ban was a horrible idea to start, that was implemented so poorly that it fixed nothing it was supposed to and actively made many new problems, but it caused a mass exodus of all the worst users, so the current chill site culture is because of it

(Also thats why twitter is now the cesspit of the internet and we fired rent lowering shots when they showed up vs us welcoming u, we dont want their crazy asses back fuck that)

can someone explain the porn ban

Obviously it's dumb but why was it like the most controversial thing ever to happen to this platform (porn is banned on lots of other places)

and like it was sort of reversed but not really??

[floppyamon]

I honestly wonder if any of the slacktivists on this site have ever digested any actual LGBT material outside of shipping and Tumble because they always have the most skewed views of LGBT relationships

[micahdraws]

What Micah's been up to

It's been about four years since Tumblr put up that ill-advised NSFW ban and led me to leave "forever." I honestly didn't think I'd come back. I started gaining a lot of momentum on Twitter and I'd been growing dissatisfied with Tumblr on the whole. At the time I was looking for a reason to leave and the carte-blanche NSFW ban was the nail in the coffin. I still don't fully trust Tumblr's admin, but they're allowing the kind of art I do again and my past frustrations with Tumblr don't need to be covered here.

So here are some of the things I've done the last few years!

Calendar projects!

Since 2018, I have produced four illustrated calendars that funded on Kickstarter! I started with the 2019 Hunks & Myth Calendar, which featured shirtless men from around the world carrying cute baby versions of mythological creatures!

I followed that up with the 2020 Hunks & Myth Calendar, which had mythological men and baby animals. That one was successful but not as big as the prior year. Fortunately, it was pre-covid, so I can tell it was less about the life circumstances and more about the subject itself. Just wasn't as in-demand, which is okay! Live and learn.

I took a year off from calendars and then put together the 2022 Coffeehouse Hunks Calendar! This one featured twelve coffee recipes you can make at home, all accompanied by a sort of "gijinka" hunk of that coffee drink! This one did VERY well and it was very encouraging to see it go so hard.

The Coffeehouse Hunks' success led me to create this year's calendar project, the 2023 Cocktail Hunks Calendar! The Cocktail Hunks followed the Coffeehouse theme -- a series of cocktail recipes accompanied by a "gijinka" of that drink. This was even more fun and it's been great to see how my art has evolved since the first calendar -- since the 2022 calendar, even! The Cocktail Hunks far surpassed my expectations and it feels really, really good to see so many people interested in my work like this!

If any of you are interested in the Cocktail Hunks Calendar, or recipe cards for either the Cocktails or Coffeehouse Hunks, I do have copies that I'll be posting for sale soon. So please keep an eye out for that!

The Sparrow

The year 2021 marked another big, big, big spike in my artistic career. It's when I ran and funded the Kickstarter for the Sparrow!

Some of you may remember I was still working on the Sparrow even before I left Tumblr. A lot has changed, a lot has grown out of it, a lot has happened, and thanks to Kickstarter support, I was able to fund the Sparrow's very first print run! A whole 70 pages of comics plus some bonus content like character interviews, RPG character sheets and profiles, and more.

I'm in the midst of making Book 2 right now. It'll be a while before I finish that, but you wouldn't believe how amazing it was to see so many people back the Sparrow, a book many of them had never heard of. Honestly, it was a little overwhelming, and it's amazing that I still get people interested in buying at cons and the like.

You can get a PDF version of the Sparrow on my Gumroad shop or read the whole thing on my Sparrow website. It's like Percy Jackson meets the X-Men but more gay :D

Other things

The Sparrow and the Calendars have been my biggest projects the last few years. But some other things I've worked on include:

Soldier/Sailor: A gay superhero oneshot -- This 20-page one-shot was written by Andrew Wheeler (Sins of Black Flamingo, Marvel Voices: Pride, etc.) and drawn by me. It follows the story of Jacob, aka Warrior One, as he reunites with his old lover Armon, Prince of Atlantis.

The Strapping Lads: A D&D Supplement - Twelve classes, twelve men, all ready for your D&D campaign. I put this together for FlameCon 2019 and it went over pretty well >:]

Mutants and Masterminds: Parade Route - I got hired to do the cover art for this Mutants and Masterminds RPG supplement! This illustration features the gay man Johnny Rocket supporting teammate and trans woman Lady Liberty as she attends her first Pride as both an openly queer person and a superhero!

I think there's more that's happened but those are some of my big highlights for the last few years. I'll also post some of my backlog here over the next while, once I have a chance to schedule in some posting. I hope you enjoy, and thank you to everyone that is still here and remembers lil ol' me!