#honestly though it's VERY realistic
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honestly, re: my last reblog, but it's so funny to me how unbearably annoying humans in mass effect are, like you guys!!!!! calm down!!! you JUST arrived!!! maybe take in your surroundings for 5 seconds before declaring you should be treated like the most special princesses of all and have all the advantages ever without any drawback and be recognized as the supreme leaders who have all the clarity and drive and righteousness to solve everything and be the victims of everyone's envy and meanness and the ultimate heroes who will save everyone in spite of themselves...... 😔😔😔
#thoughts#mass effect#honestly though it's VERY realistic#it's probably the most realistic portrayal of how ego-driven humans would be in a first contact scenario I've ever seen haha#but gggod you guys are SO annoying!!!!#it's why I've never been fully onboard with anderson for example#this guy is so humanity-patriotic to the point of completely “dehumanizing” a lot of the aliens he meets#especially in the novels#not to say it's normal that only 3 species are at the top making decisions#and the democratic system of that society is fucking busted like it's an actual joke#but humans don't seek to fix that and make it more fair#they don't ally with voluses and hanar and elcor and vorchas and batarians and krogans to make a democratic coalition#no they're like ????? but?? but me???? but I'M special????????#but ME deserve to be on top??????#not questioning the system but just being like “okay how can I climb on top and become the ultimate girlboss of space aliens”
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realtalk you guys probably dont need to know about but i know like zero weirdromantic people in real life, i think my cuddlebuddy might still be in love with me but also i dont think i mind at all. my default un-filtered way of showing affection to close friends Is near impossible to differentiate from romantic affection and i dont mind being treated with affection that is probably romantic as long as the other party doesn't expect romantic love or exclusivity from me, or lead anybody outside of us to make assumptions on our relationship. and like. i doubt they care since what i do is so close to romantic anyway. its not really leading anybody on if we've talked about it
#i kind of enjoy the feeling of having a friend be in love with me if they dont expect anything of me about it honestly#realistically this person is a Very close friend i would not have any qualms with more cuddles or kissing them or#hell even The Other Stuff Couples Do (demon in my brain saying to not say it openly) if they wanted#but i am not attracted to them and i have told them as much and it seems fine#so i guess the thing is more 'how do i ask this person if i can kiss them and whatever but like platonically though'#idk i love incredibly abnormal friendships everybody should have more incredibly abnormal friendships#also the worst that could come out of this is me falling for them which honestly would not be a problem#it all works out i think#i am also just like#incredibly touch starved so this isnt just a 'if they want to treat me like this they can'#i do want to initiate but not in a romantic context which is my main hangup honestly#im still doing pretty good though im marginally winning at the fuck amatonormativity game#veespeaks
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watching ahs:coven in spirit of the season and also because i love witches
so far the most disturbing thing is the butler guy's extremely advanced case of nail fungus
#they let him touch their FOOD with those! do you have any idea how infectious this shit is. ew.#yeah its very gory but the gore and violence is so extreme its cartoonish#'imagine if a crazy woman peeled your face off!!' hmm. thats unlikely though innit#'imagine if someone with really gross nails touched your stuff!' 🤢 unfortunately very realistic#who knows what yall are hiding under those acrylics and honestly i do not want to think about it
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It's been long enough, are we good with saying Bioshock Infinite has decent gameplay and an absolutely terrible story
#bioshock#bioshock infinite#art style I'm mixed on#like i honestly would've preferred a ''realistic'' design for the humans because otherwise it's very tonally jarring#i feel like I'm brutally murdering disney characters which you think would be fun but it doesn't feel right in this context#also i hate the story and ESPECIALLY how they handle the vox populi#even when i first played through and thought i liked the game i felt... gross at how they ''both sides'' them#daisy fitzroy desereved better#also i say decent gameplay because i love how the guns and vigors feel but i want to punch whoever suggested the 2 gun limit#IT'S A BIOSHOCK GAME I SHOULD BE A WALKING ARSENAL#sorry to still be mad about this 10+ years later but people who sang Infinite's praises and shat on bio 2 kept me from playing it for years#and in hindsight it's a major crime because i think 2 is the best in the series#(og bioshock is still my all time favorite though. biases)
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It really feels like Simon and Merrill's relationship is falling apart by act 3.
It's not that they don't love each other, but Simon very clearly can't provide the kind of home Merrill wants.
She so obviously misses her people and wants to be back with the Dalish that it hurts.
#simon hawke#he's just never going to be able to be dalish. or an elf.#the amount of times this comes up in the romance surprised me#i see very few people talk about how much of a hurdle the cultural differences are in this romance#i think it's a very realistic problem honestly#even if you're playing as a hawke who is super supportive and trying to learn about her culture its not going to be the same#as her being in her community surrounded by her people#she obvs feels isolated in hightown and doesn't want to spend any time there#combined with the fact that she wants to work on the eluvian but doesn't think it's safe to work on in hawke's home#simon knows she's unhappy and doesn't know how to fix things....he's selfishly holding on for as long as she's willing to as well though#i have a feeling they might break up post-game unless the resolution of her personal quest changes the dynamics between them
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imagine u reluctantly tolerate (and even try to like !!) this guy with downright rancid vibes bc he is ur favourite specialest darling angelic princess’s brotherhusband who makes her happy turns out whole time he’s abusing her n depleting her sense of self and taking away her personhood under the guise of love idgaf about how traumatised he is im killing this guy with hammers
#found an old draft from like 3 months ago from when i was a hardcore samdean truther…#like he genuinely needs his ass beat and in jail canon dean as a person is vitriolic lmao#as a character he is very compelling however bc it’s a very realistic and honestly sympathetic portrayal of an abuser#they r not all downright comically evil (even tho he is sometimes which is just um) they are real and very often traumatised ppl Themselves#but a narcissist’s version of love is incomplete and conditional and more importantly toxic#still doesn’t absolve them of abuse though! doesn’t justify repeated & increasingly malignant patternsof behaviours against their close ones#but recognising dean as both a victim of and a perpetrator of the cycle of abuse is instrumental to understanding the show in a way that is#not mired by narrative bias#personal idk#dean crit#is it dean crit if it is just pointing out canon…🤔
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some book recs: the haunting of hill house, dr jekyll and mr hyde, the phantom of the opera, the turn of the screw, the yellow wallpaper, sharp objects, the girl on the train
thank you so much for the recommendations, anon <3 it‘s funny because I put ‚the haunting of hill house‘ on my ebook just a few days ago ahsjs haven’t started it yet though because I wasn‘t sure if it‘s too scary for me lol but I think I might read it next!! the phantom of the opera, sharp objects and the girl on the train are on my tbr list since forever, so I definitely should get to them! the other ones I already read (actually just read the yellow wallpaper last week ahsje) but again THANK you sm for the recommendations 💗
#i honestly know nothing of the haunting of hill house#except that the late adaption was very horror-ish#which is why I thought it might be too scary for me ahsjd#but I’m usually not really scared by books that way#like I love reading creepy gothic books#just like realistic brutal stuff freaks me out like torture and serial killers and stuff#anywayssss#might read it next!!#*latest adaption#lol my dyslexia is acting up since I’m out of university#i swear I can‘t spell anymore#phantom (and girl on the train as well) always scare me because they longer than 300 pages LOL#don’t ask about the 300 page rule ahsjs#it’s a long story ahsjsjd (I blame my autism ahsjs)#I didn’t know sharo objects was so short though#I need to put it on my ebook!#answered#anonymous
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the worst part of having a crush is that it makes me feel inutterably stupid at all times
#like not only bc I'm such a dumb schoolgirl about it#but also bc I SHOULD be realistic and I'm NOT being that right now#like there's VERY little chance that he even likes me back. we're only tentatively even friends#and he's going to college out of state so like#there's actually honestly no way#and YET#and I feel SO stupid anytime I think about it#like I'm not ALLOWED to say that I'm in love even though that's honestly kinda what it is#I feel SO stupid for saying that#and I hate that I'm being so unrealistic with everything right now#it makes me kind of hate myself#and actually I probably only feel like this because some stuff's come up this afternoon that has me HORRIFICALLY stressed#and frustrated just in a generalized kind of way#and I actually kind of hate everyone right now. kinda just want to be like... ANYWHERE else#idk why my day can go SO well and then as soon as my parents come home everything sucks#like I'm freaking trying to have a freaking conversation with my mom!! I just want to tell her about my day and hear about hers!!!#but my dad won't stop interrupting because he can't find stuff and he won't tell us what he's trying to find#like I keep starting a sentence and I never freaking get to finish it#I'm trying to tell my mom all about church and the sweet 12 year old who's training on the sound board!!#I'm LIKE DAD JUST EFFING TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR I PROBABLY KNOW WHERE IT IS#but he WON'T#but he still keeps interrupting to talk to mom even though he SEES me standing there trying to talk to her#I just want to cry and shout at someone but I can't#I have to do a ton of stuff before I can get away and go be alone#I'm locked in the bathroom right now bc I just blew up at one of the dogs and my sister got angry at me for it#but the dog nearly ran away and wouldn't FREAKING come when I called her and I'm just so frustrated#and I talked to my sister in law on the phone today and now I want to cry bc I miss her#anyway. I hate life rn. I'm sure in 10 minutes I'll have calmed down from my stress and will not hate it any longer#Lu rambles
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seeing synthv lite and flt covers brings me so much joy.. like wow.. i can make cool stuff even with the free voicebanks.. even if they sound more robotic than the full ones..
#made a genbu and eri binomi cover today but too shy to post it.. i think it's very cool tho..#honestly eri is one of my fav voicebanks atp. her voice is so powerful omg#also ngl even though i love love love synthv voicebanks the way they sound so human is. kinda scary shsjskks#LIKE IN A GOOD WAY. LIKE IT'S COOL HOW MUCH THE TECHNOLOGY HAS DEVELOPED#but also i have to say that one of the reasons why i always loved vocasongs sm is exactly bc they usually sound robotic#idk like i remember 9 y/o me going “THESE ROBOTS CAN SING??? SO COOL...���#and it just always filled me with so much joy like omg these guys live in a computer and they sing their silly songs..#so even though the more human sound gives so much to work with and makes the songs sound so realistic#it kinda takes away that cute singing robot part tbh..#so sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about vocaloid and vocal synth in general..#[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]
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Sleepover w my probably unrequited crush was NOT good for me
#going insane. i slept for 2 hours mainly bcs i spent most of the time near cardiac arrest#such a cringefail moment nothing has changed since highschool etc. well it has but ive had 2 hrs of sleep and im being dramatic#i dont even know if shes in a relationship i think maybe shes in like a fwb situation w this guy she spends a lot of time with#who is very nice honestly might not even mind that like everyone here is polyam anyway lol but idk if she even likes me that way at all.#and i physically cannot talk to her abt this i think i'd genuinely die of a heart attack and bury myself alive no matter the outcome#but also i guess my life will stay this way forever if i dont eventually do smth abt crushes but im like SO scared#though i guess realistically the worst outcome is that i embarrass myself. like she's bisexual she's not going to kill me or be disgusted#WELL. Maybe I'll do smth abt this tomorrow (probably not)#but also im soo worried that if it's reciprocated it turns out i dont actually want anything from her#bcs that would mean i have Fucked Up Issues and i don't even know how to begin thinking abt solving them#anyway GOODNIGHT. I am tired and not in a state of mind to do deep psychoanalysis on myself 🗣
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as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired
not the make out sesh 😩 oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be
this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing
love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❤️
i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but… eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....
i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way
i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...
i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗
#ive really liked seeing drivers and their partners recently#but i think that in some way it's just like a coping mechanism to cope with the fact that im so very alone#i think it originates in the wish of being one of them even though i do feel very realistic and dont actually believe that it could happen#but i mean honestly#if we werent even the tiniest bit delusional#would we be here writing and reading the self insert fics??#like sure i dont do it just for that reason#i love writing and i love fiction no matter what kind and blah blah#but we could've all been reading random scifi or romance fics instead and yet so many people get stuck on celebs x reader#housing is really expensive in my city so not a lot of people move out early (like pretty much none of my friends have moved out)#and i just dont get how they manage to have partners and still live at home? are their parents not crazy like mine??#i am supposed to be moving out soon though but rn idk how that would change my situation#still have to deal with social anxiety and shit#this ask hurt so much#ive been hitting a pretty rough patch recently aswell and im kind of thinking that i need to break down fully to be able to build myself up#but its so goddamn scary#idk why im oversharing and ranting so much shfkdjf i apologize#i really hope you find happiness and a great love#i truly admire you for working through this despite how hard it all is#why does it all have to be so exhausting?#asks!
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Random TGCF thing I really want to write but probably never will:
At the Rain Master's farm, SQX refuses to go with Pei Ming and stays behind while the rest go to save the fishermen/let SWD know his brother is safe (but refusing to meet with him)
He Xuan completes his revenge. The Water Tyrant falls and SQX becomes a drifter. Guilt and regret weigh down his heart but "Ming Yi", his best friend, is there to help him through it...
it's a horror story :D
#random tgcf thoughts#the best friend at your side; letting you find out a truth and giving you a way out#and never letting you know the whole truth....#the other version of this scenario i've toyed with (and partly written) is that sqx does learn that ming yi was hx all along afterwards#but he learns it through others. never sees my again. no closure#but i like the horror story version more xD#i think realistically though if sqx hadn't gone to swd hx wouldn't appear to him again either way#hx may be a vengeful ghost king but he's still a very righteous person (if you're not named ming yi)#i don't think he's someone who could kill his friend's brother and then maintain the friendship as though nothing had happened#aaah i do kind of want to write this now! the sqx chooses to stay in yushi but hx & swd pov#honestly i imagine swd would be extra smug in their confrontation now because his brother's safety has already been guaranteed#he has no reason to care what happens to him#(sorry hx you're not getting a satisfying revenge in this version either)#...........maybe it should be a time loop story#hx gets revenge on swd over and over but in any scenario where sqx lives its not satisfying (because swd is a dick about it)#but any scenario where sqx dies is also not satisfying (because hx doesn't like it)#(and this has become a why option 1 was the only good revenge option and why are there no fics about it xD)
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LISTEN I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS BUT I SWEAR HE WAS DISTINCT FROM RGGJO STILL 😭😭😭 HIS DESIGN WAS LOUD IN A DIFFERENT WAY 😭😭😭😭😭 though As A Whole it was probably the result of someone saying he should go full RGGJo in 8 several months prior to when I had the dream, so not wrong. But it would be fun to see a shift from "Nothing in life matters...😞" to "Nothing in life matters! 😎" would it not...
I've always thought Drink Link was meant to evoke Social Link? Because in Japan it was called #DRAMA. I was never the biggest fan because it's one of many "translations" in Y7 that are just changing something that was already in English and doesn't require cultural context to understand. Like IMO whether it's seen as an improvement or not, it's just not the localizers' job to "improve on" the original; let them be cringe and let them be free...
And also it gave ammunition to Persona fans who refuse to experience anything but P5 and decided to go "wow! it's just like P5!" at every little thing Y7 did from the VERY FIRST trailers onward (including BE AN RPG) And That Shit Got Old Fast </3 Sorry </3 But I do think this one's very much on purpose, localization-wise. So I forgive you :)
RANTING ASIDE. OR. SEGUEING INTO MORE RANTING. Literally like I don't even care if it's as part of the Kasugang or Kiryu's Geezer Squad... Give Jo five minutes with Tendo or hand him over to me so I can make sure he's enriched and well-nourished... these are my demands... that man is my everything......
Because it would be SO funny both ways. We don't know who all will be in each party, so either he's stuck with Adachi (Definitely A Character) (Affectionate) (Also Has Already Told Him He'd Rather Kill Him Than Send Him To Jail So. Awkward) or maybe with Kiryu's he'd have more people around his agw, But if not, The Inherent Comedy of two bitches called Jo and Joryu who have almost the same haircut 💀💀
Exactly though, nobody in the Arakawa Family is neurotypical and I FULLY believe Jo would be at his best when put into Situations, like Mine is. It's something I reeeally miss from RGGO because of the pre-finale scene with RGGJo and Mitsu having a drink at their favorite bar... they haven't been there in a while, and RGGJo doesn't wanna spoil the mood, so he's not hostile in the slightest... and when he gets up to leave he says he "forgot his wallet" and makes Mitsu foot the bill (ICONIC for completely different reasons depending on whether he's telling the truth or not)... whereas in Y7 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE ARAKAWAS HAVE A FAVORITE BAR
it could be funny- whiplash inducing, but that'd undoubtedly be why it'd be funny wouldn't it ��(´▽`) he could've been some sacred third thing- just more RGGJo influence injected in Y7Jo mayhaps..
anyhow it dont sound like you forgive me when you just got mad at persona players for makin comparisons and here ive gone and done such a thing LMAO(;´д`)(;´д`)in any case, i know how you feel about translations so i wont press the topic: if it aint broke etc etc, i understand how you feel so it's ok (❁´◡`❁;;)
double 'jo' def woulda been funny, if not has always been a small thing worth jokin bout that ive had in the back of my mind (though ive already said that: i have a broken record of a brain at this point, if not that it just points out how silly i find the idea) LMAO. i've always enjoyed antag-turned-party member anyhow, so it wouldve been fun to me regardless of what it brought ♪(´▽`)
#long post#snap chats#i say unnecessary things a lot so its easy for me to say something upsetting oops (´▽`;;;)#its a habit im trying to break- to speak concisely instead of without aim. though if im realistic im not sure i can do that#i can only ask please be patient with me for saying annoying things in the future (❁´◡`❁)#im sure it'll happen a lot by accident and has already happened (❁´◡`❁ ;; ) so ill make sure to remember whats most bothersome (❁´◡`❁)#before my organs shut down on me let me move on OWOWOW#i remember the bit in rggo where jo forgot his wallet i truly couldnt stop myself from sayin My Guy Cmon 😭 ☠️☠️#in the case of rggjo its fun to imagine his forgetfulness as ambiguous cause Truly Did He Mean To Forget Or 🤨#in the case of y7jo its harder to believe hed do it on purpose so in the case where he does its just ☠️☠️#bros Truly losin it.... his mind AND his wallet... i know ichi gon make a joke 😔#aside from that though maybe jo would benefit from having friends his age <- saying this as if he's in grade school ☠️☠️#in the case of the arakawas having a personal favorite bar tho... i couldnt say#ive already made an assessment of jo's sociability through his office so i wanna make a half-confident bet he doesnt like to get out much#lest it's required for Whatever Reason- but what about arakawa then ? much to consider..#i honestly couldnt wager what he'd prefer.. i dont know what atmosphere he'd like... he's too mysterious for me (´▽`;;)#for some reason i can only ever imagine him drinking at home or at quaint restaurants...#idk cant explain it... thats just the vibe... very likely im wrong though..#my organs truly hurt now- i think i gave myself a headache by mistake so ill have to stop my pondering before i explode (´▽`;;)
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Small Exclusive Fairytale update! Hopefully it'll be out by this summer 🥹
https://twitter.com/tyunshii/status/1639643952155426816
According to this anyway (im gonna try not to get TOO excited for my own heart's sake 😭)
yes i saw that! with c-ent especially nothing is ever set in stone, but fingers crossed that everything goes to plan and they stay on track for a summer release this year ;-;
#melia.ask#runningtospringday#previously jun asked the director and she said it would be at least spring this year/wouldnt be before spring#so this still seems in line w that#it also makes sense as a summer drama!#fingers crossed! honestly i havent been to concerned about the release even though i am very eager for it#if this year comes to an end wo it airing then ill start being concerned#but honestly summer this year seems very realistic 🙏#idk if im making sense im rambling a bit lol
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honestly I see this sort of thing in fandoms also, there's a lot more willingness to engage with media primarily written by white people and containing white people but fandom puts a lick of colour on it rather than engage with media written by global majority people.
It's quickly becoming apparent that colour blind casting aims to serve a white audience now
#other than like#japanese or korean media#though honestly I see bridgerton as like a weird mid ground#I know it completely ignores the ransacking of the world which the pretty dresses are able to be financed by#but I think that the audience aren't ignorant of that - people know it's purely escapism - no more realistic than red dwarf#like there's a lot of global majority people who do old asethetics but not old values and some do it historical reenactment professionally#I don't think btn really curbs criticism so much as goes “yes - and?” but I do think this is something which has been happening since the#whole black-hermione stuff#I'm sure there's some people who feel more included by a surface level inclusion - and not all of us have grown up in afro-caribbean cultur#but at very least it feels like being thrown a bone rather than actually engaging with any global majority people
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Favorite hobby?
Tough one. I do, like, all of four things and all of those can be considered hobbies...
I guess the only one I can really consider purely a hobby is gaming? While I enjoy an audience or companionship, I do it entirely for myself way more often than, say, art or writing- which, I do often do just for myself! But in some cases that's less to do with enjoyment and more like... keeping my skills sharp, or trying to find an outlet for something, I suppose, ya know? Breaking down "art" to more individual mediums though, just as a bonus- had a lot of fun making clay sculptures, before. I would like to do it again some time! (Only reason I haven't is because it is a long and messy process, honestly.)
#asks#anon#jay.txt#weird one to answer for me honestly- not in like a bad way!#just cause i like... i always kinda just think about the things that I do as being the things that I do. I don't necessarily consider them#as being anything other than a part of my existence I guess. Like I know realistically yeah- hobbies a thing- i just never apply the term +#to my activities I guess??#idk if that makes sense I might be a little Stupid rn (*sort of dazed at the moment from stuff and also a little stoned maybe*)#(*seriously not very though. stoned i mean. just got brain lag rn maybe. of a sort.*)
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