#honestly though it's VERY realistic
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honestly, re: my last reblog, but it's so funny to me how unbearably annoying humans in mass effect are, like you guys!!!!! calm down!!! you JUST arrived!!! maybe take in your surroundings for 5 seconds before declaring you should be treated like the most special princesses of all and have all the advantages ever without any drawback and be recognized as the supreme leaders who have all the clarity and drive and righteousness to solve everything and be the victims of everyone's envy and meanness and the ultimate heroes who will save everyone in spite of themselves...... 😔😔😔
#thoughts#mass effect#honestly though it's VERY realistic#it's probably the most realistic portrayal of how ego-driven humans would be in a first contact scenario I've ever seen haha#but gggod you guys are SO annoying!!!!#it's why I've never been fully onboard with anderson for example#this guy is so humanity-patriotic to the point of completely “dehumanizing” a lot of the aliens he meets#especially in the novels#not to say it's normal that only 3 species are at the top making decisions#and the democratic system of that society is fucking busted like it's an actual joke#but humans don't seek to fix that and make it more fair#they don't ally with voluses and hanar and elcor and vorchas and batarians and krogans to make a democratic coalition#no they're like ????? but?? but me???? but I'M special????????#but ME deserve to be on top??????#not questioning the system but just being like “okay how can I climb on top and become the ultimate girlboss of space aliens”
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im still thinking abt the bfb alliance bc i dont think mawn will come close to breaking them up but im very excited to see flame AGAINST mane and pentar, esp bc its very unlikely he will back down since hes primarily doing it to prove his own independence from mane— and like hes only said he wont fight mane. which means he isnt against fighting pentar which is interesting.
#lifesteal spoilers#blindfold bandits#flamefrags#manepear#pentar#though theres just not very many people mapicc would need flames help for#realistically i can only see him needing flame to fight if hes getting jumped and its like not 1v1 w higher heart players#like if it was zam and derap#or mane and pentar but hed take care of pentar#or obviously a clownpierce LOL#id say minute but realistically minute would never do that to mape#if minute betrayed him i think thatd be his final straw#like during his last stream there was a point where he said#“i honestly just want minute back”#or smt like that and it made me SO sad bro#this rly is like s4 all over#he feels abandoned by his beloved teammate whos focused on his own projects#zam has seemingly left him behind for another teammate while he already feels alone
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realtalk you guys probably dont need to know about but i know like zero weirdromantic people in real life, i think my cuddlebuddy might still be in love with me but also i dont think i mind at all. my default un-filtered way of showing affection to close friends Is near impossible to differentiate from romantic affection and i dont mind being treated with affection that is probably romantic as long as the other party doesn't expect romantic love or exclusivity from me, or lead anybody outside of us to make assumptions on our relationship. and like. i doubt they care since what i do is so close to romantic anyway. its not really leading anybody on if we've talked about it
#i kind of enjoy the feeling of having a friend be in love with me if they dont expect anything of me about it honestly#realistically this person is a Very close friend i would not have any qualms with more cuddles or kissing them or#hell even The Other Stuff Couples Do (demon in my brain saying to not say it openly) if they wanted#but i am not attracted to them and i have told them as much and it seems fine#so i guess the thing is more 'how do i ask this person if i can kiss them and whatever but like platonically though'#idk i love incredibly abnormal friendships everybody should have more incredibly abnormal friendships#also the worst that could come out of this is me falling for them which honestly would not be a problem#it all works out i think#i am also just like#incredibly touch starved so this isnt just a 'if they want to treat me like this they can'#i do want to initiate but not in a romantic context which is my main hangup honestly#im still doing pretty good though im marginally winning at the fuck amatonormativity game#veespeaks
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watching ahs:coven in spirit of the season and also because i love witches
so far the most disturbing thing is the butler guy's extremely advanced case of nail fungus
#they let him touch their FOOD with those! do you have any idea how infectious this shit is. ew.#yeah its very gory but the gore and violence is so extreme its cartoonish#'imagine if a crazy woman peeled your face off!!' hmm. thats unlikely though innit#'imagine if someone with really gross nails touched your stuff!' 🤢 unfortunately very realistic#who knows what yall are hiding under those acrylics and honestly i do not want to think about it
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It's been long enough, are we good with saying Bioshock Infinite has decent gameplay and an absolutely terrible story
#bioshock#bioshock infinite#art style I'm mixed on#like i honestly would've preferred a ''realistic'' design for the humans because otherwise it's very tonally jarring#i feel like I'm brutally murdering disney characters which you think would be fun but it doesn't feel right in this context#also i hate the story and ESPECIALLY how they handle the vox populi#even when i first played through and thought i liked the game i felt... gross at how they ''both sides'' them#daisy fitzroy desereved better#also i say decent gameplay because i love how the guns and vigors feel but i want to punch whoever suggested the 2 gun limit#IT'S A BIOSHOCK GAME I SHOULD BE A WALKING ARSENAL#sorry to still be mad about this 10+ years later but people who sang Infinite's praises and shat on bio 2 kept me from playing it for years#and in hindsight it's a major crime because i think 2 is the best in the series#(og bioshock is still my all time favorite though. biases)
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It really feels like Simon and Merrill's relationship is falling apart by act 3.
It's not that they don't love each other, but Simon very clearly can't provide the kind of home Merrill wants.
She so obviously misses her people and wants to be back with the Dalish that it hurts.
#simon hawke#he's just never going to be able to be dalish. or an elf.#the amount of times this comes up in the romance surprised me#i see very few people talk about how much of a hurdle the cultural differences are in this romance#i think it's a very realistic problem honestly#even if you're playing as a hawke who is super supportive and trying to learn about her culture its not going to be the same#as her being in her community surrounded by her people#she obvs feels isolated in hightown and doesn't want to spend any time there#combined with the fact that she wants to work on the eluvian but doesn't think it's safe to work on in hawke's home#simon knows she's unhappy and doesn't know how to fix things....he's selfishly holding on for as long as she's willing to as well though#i have a feeling they might break up post-game unless the resolution of her personal quest changes the dynamics between them
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imagine u reluctantly tolerate (and even try to like !!) this guy with downright rancid vibes bc he is ur favourite specialest darling angelic princess’s brotherhusband who makes her happy turns out whole time he’s abusing her n depleting her sense of self and taking away her personhood under the guise of love idgaf about how traumatised he is im killing this guy with hammers
#found an old draft from like 3 months ago from when i was a hardcore samdean truther…#like he genuinely needs his ass beat and in jail canon dean as a person is vitriolic lmao#as a character he is very compelling however bc it’s a very realistic and honestly sympathetic portrayal of an abuser#they r not all downright comically evil (even tho he is sometimes which is just um) they are real and very often traumatised ppl Themselves#but a narcissist’s version of love is incomplete and conditional and more importantly toxic#still doesn’t absolve them of abuse though! doesn’t justify repeated & increasingly malignant patternsof behaviours against their close ones#but recognising dean as both a victim of and a perpetrator of the cycle of abuse is instrumental to understanding the show in a way that is#not mired by narrative bias#personal idk#dean crit#is it dean crit if it is just pointing out canon…🤔
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some book recs: the haunting of hill house, dr jekyll and mr hyde, the phantom of the opera, the turn of the screw, the yellow wallpaper, sharp objects, the girl on the train
thank you so much for the recommendations, anon <3 it‘s funny because I put ‚the haunting of hill house‘ on my ebook just a few days ago ahsjs haven’t started it yet though because I wasn‘t sure if it‘s too scary for me lol but I think I might read it next!! the phantom of the opera, sharp objects and the girl on the train are on my tbr list since forever, so I definitely should get to them! the other ones I already read (actually just read the yellow wallpaper last week ahsje) but again THANK you sm for the recommendations 💗
#i honestly know nothing of the haunting of hill house#except that the late adaption was very horror-ish#which is why I thought it might be too scary for me ahsjd#but I’m usually not really scared by books that way#like I love reading creepy gothic books#just like realistic brutal stuff freaks me out like torture and serial killers and stuff#anywayssss#might read it next!!#*latest adaption#lol my dyslexia is acting up since I’m out of university#i swear I can‘t spell anymore#phantom (and girl on the train as well) always scare me because they longer than 300 pages LOL#don’t ask about the 300 page rule ahsjs#it’s a long story ahsjsjd (I blame my autism ahsjs)#I didn’t know sharo objects was so short though#I need to put it on my ebook!#answered#anonymous
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the worst part of having a crush is that it makes me feel inutterably stupid at all times
#like not only bc I'm such a dumb schoolgirl about it#but also bc I SHOULD be realistic and I'm NOT being that right now#like there's VERY little chance that he even likes me back. we're only tentatively even friends#and he's going to college out of state so like#there's actually honestly no way#and YET#and I feel SO stupid anytime I think about it#like I'm not ALLOWED to say that I'm in love even though that's honestly kinda what it is#I feel SO stupid for saying that#and I hate that I'm being so unrealistic with everything right now#it makes me kind of hate myself#and actually I probably only feel like this because some stuff's come up this afternoon that has me HORRIFICALLY stressed#and frustrated just in a generalized kind of way#and I actually kind of hate everyone right now. kinda just want to be like... ANYWHERE else#idk why my day can go SO well and then as soon as my parents come home everything sucks#like I'm freaking trying to have a freaking conversation with my mom!! I just want to tell her about my day and hear about hers!!!#but my dad won't stop interrupting because he can't find stuff and he won't tell us what he's trying to find#like I keep starting a sentence and I never freaking get to finish it#I'm trying to tell my mom all about church and the sweet 12 year old who's training on the sound board!!#I'm LIKE DAD JUST EFFING TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR I PROBABLY KNOW WHERE IT IS#but he WON'T#but he still keeps interrupting to talk to mom even though he SEES me standing there trying to talk to her#I just want to cry and shout at someone but I can't#I have to do a ton of stuff before I can get away and go be alone#I'm locked in the bathroom right now bc I just blew up at one of the dogs and my sister got angry at me for it#but the dog nearly ran away and wouldn't FREAKING come when I called her and I'm just so frustrated#and I talked to my sister in law on the phone today and now I want to cry bc I miss her#anyway. I hate life rn. I'm sure in 10 minutes I'll have calmed down from my stress and will not hate it any longer#Lu rambles
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seeing synthv lite and flt covers brings me so much joy.. like wow.. i can make cool stuff even with the free voicebanks.. even if they sound more robotic than the full ones..
#made a genbu and eri binomi cover today but too shy to post it.. i think it's very cool tho..#honestly eri is one of my fav voicebanks atp. her voice is so powerful omg#also ngl even though i love love love synthv voicebanks the way they sound so human is. kinda scary shsjskks#LIKE IN A GOOD WAY. LIKE IT'S COOL HOW MUCH THE TECHNOLOGY HAS DEVELOPED#but also i have to say that one of the reasons why i always loved vocasongs sm is exactly bc they usually sound robotic#idk like i remember 9 y/o me going “THESE ROBOTS CAN SING??? SO COOL...”#and it just always filled me with so much joy like omg these guys live in a computer and they sing their silly songs..#so even though the more human sound gives so much to work with and makes the songs sound so realistic#it kinda takes away that cute singing robot part tbh..#so sorry i just have a lot of thoughts about vocaloid and vocal synth in general..#[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]
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Sleepover w my probably unrequited crush was NOT good for me
#going insane. i slept for 2 hours mainly bcs i spent most of the time near cardiac arrest#such a cringefail moment nothing has changed since highschool etc. well it has but ive had 2 hrs of sleep and im being dramatic#i dont even know if shes in a relationship i think maybe shes in like a fwb situation w this guy she spends a lot of time with#who is very nice honestly might not even mind that like everyone here is polyam anyway lol but idk if she even likes me that way at all.#and i physically cannot talk to her abt this i think i'd genuinely die of a heart attack and bury myself alive no matter the outcome#but also i guess my life will stay this way forever if i dont eventually do smth abt crushes but im like SO scared#though i guess realistically the worst outcome is that i embarrass myself. like she's bisexual she's not going to kill me or be disgusted#WELL. Maybe I'll do smth abt this tomorrow (probably not)#but also im soo worried that if it's reciprocated it turns out i dont actually want anything from her#bcs that would mean i have Fucked Up Issues and i don't even know how to begin thinking abt solving them#anyway GOODNIGHT. I am tired and not in a state of mind to do deep psychoanalysis on myself 🗣
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as happy as i am for lissie and marcus (even though I knew they were already together because I literally watched them make out with my own two eyes) it was honestly my last straw. I’m so tired of seeing everybody on my social feeds happy and in relationships when I’ve just had the worst week of my life and have basically given up on falling in love because if I can’t even drive how am I going to go to places where I’ll meet people?!?!? i have spent every Valentine’s Day alone while my friends go on elaborate dates and I’m just so so tired
not the make out sesh 😩 oh to see them with my own two eyes irl... what a pretty sight it would be
this got quite personal and hit a little too close to home so im putting a lil keep reading thing
love :(( i’m truly sorry you feel this way... but god i felt this ask so much... first of all, i'm really sorry about you having a bad week. it's completely fine to feel the way you're feeling, it must really suck, but i'm sure you'll get the license and you'll be driving shortly!! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you ❤️
i’ve always been very calm about relationships and love, very much “i’m not in a rush” and “it’ll come when it’s time”. i’ve always been a hopeless romantic but i haven’t been stressed about it – i’ve always been so busy that i haven’t really had time for love, and i've been okay with hearing about friends and their great love lives while i've spent pretty much every weekend and holiday alone at home. but… eventually, it becomes exhausting, you know? when falling in love for real just seems so far away and like something so hard to achieve in some way....
i also kind of feel you on the driving part... i decided not to get my license for a bunch of reasons, and idk how i'll get around without driving... but also as i am still living with my parents, it just seems impossible to meet someone, because where would i bring them? home to meet my snooping parents?? no way
i think we just gotta hold on to the hope that when it is the right time, it will happen. i don't believe in the whole "don't rush it" thing, i think that we're all allowed to seek and chase love if we want to, but i also think it's okay to take a step back and just breathe and be okay with the situation. unfortunately, our current day society is so formed around relationships, soft launches and hard launches and dinner date pics on insta and public proposal videos, that i feel like the pressure easily gets overwhelming. there's also something in the way that people think other people's love lives is any of their business, like friends and relatives asking me why i don't have a boyfriend, as if a partner is something i need to live my life? surely it would make it better, but i don't need to be reminded and hurt yet again over the fact that i'm alone, when i'm just trying to move on in life...
i'm trying to stay patient, open to any opportunity, and remembering that social media is merely a highlight reel and not reality. i hope you too can find peace in remembering that things will get better, we just have to work through this first. we will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. darling, if you ever need something from me, want to rant, or anything else, know that my messages and inbox are always open 💗
#ive really liked seeing drivers and their partners recently#but i think that in some way it's just like a coping mechanism to cope with the fact that im so very alone#i think it originates in the wish of being one of them even though i do feel very realistic and dont actually believe that it could happen#but i mean honestly#if we werent even the tiniest bit delusional#would we be here writing and reading the self insert fics??#like sure i dont do it just for that reason#i love writing and i love fiction no matter what kind and blah blah#but we could've all been reading random scifi or romance fics instead and yet so many people get stuck on celebs x reader#housing is really expensive in my city so not a lot of people move out early (like pretty much none of my friends have moved out)#and i just dont get how they manage to have partners and still live at home? are their parents not crazy like mine??#i am supposed to be moving out soon though but rn idk how that would change my situation#still have to deal with social anxiety and shit#this ask hurt so much#ive been hitting a pretty rough patch recently aswell and im kind of thinking that i need to break down fully to be able to build myself up#but its so goddamn scary#idk why im oversharing and ranting so much shfkdjf i apologize#i really hope you find happiness and a great love#i truly admire you for working through this despite how hard it all is#why does it all have to be so exhausting?#asks!
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LISTEN I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS BUT I SWEAR HE WAS DISTINCT FROM RGGJO STILL 😭😭😭 HIS DESIGN WAS LOUD IN A DIFFERENT WAY 😭😭😭😭😭 though As A Whole it was probably the result of someone saying he should go full RGGJo in 8 several months prior to when I had the dream, so not wrong. But it would be fun to see a shift from "Nothing in life matters...😞" to "Nothing in life matters! 😎" would it not...
I've always thought Drink Link was meant to evoke Social Link? Because in Japan it was called #DRAMA. I was never the biggest fan because it's one of many "translations" in Y7 that are just changing something that was already in English and doesn't require cultural context to understand. Like IMO whether it's seen as an improvement or not, it's just not the localizers' job to "improve on" the original; let them be cringe and let them be free...
And also it gave ammunition to Persona fans who refuse to experience anything but P5 and decided to go "wow! it's just like P5!" at every little thing Y7 did from the VERY FIRST trailers onward (including BE AN RPG) And That Shit Got Old Fast </3 Sorry </3 But I do think this one's very much on purpose, localization-wise. So I forgive you :)
RANTING ASIDE. OR. SEGUEING INTO MORE RANTING. Literally like I don't even care if it's as part of the Kasugang or Kiryu's Geezer Squad... Give Jo five minutes with Tendo or hand him over to me so I can make sure he's enriched and well-nourished... these are my demands... that man is my everything......
Because it would be SO funny both ways. We don't know who all will be in each party, so either he's stuck with Adachi (Definitely A Character) (Affectionate) (Also Has Already Told Him He'd Rather Kill Him Than Send Him To Jail So. Awkward) or maybe with Kiryu's he'd have more people around his agw, But if not, The Inherent Comedy of two bitches called Jo and Joryu who have almost the same haircut 💀💀
Exactly though, nobody in the Arakawa Family is neurotypical and I FULLY believe Jo would be at his best when put into Situations, like Mine is. It's something I reeeally miss from RGGO because of the pre-finale scene with RGGJo and Mitsu having a drink at their favorite bar... they haven't been there in a while, and RGGJo doesn't wanna spoil the mood, so he's not hostile in the slightest... and when he gets up to leave he says he "forgot his wallet" and makes Mitsu foot the bill (ICONIC for completely different reasons depending on whether he's telling the truth or not)... whereas in Y7 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE ARAKAWAS HAVE A FAVORITE BAR
it could be funny- whiplash inducing, but that'd undoubtedly be why it'd be funny wouldn't it ♪(´▽`) he could've been some sacred third thing- just more RGGJo influence injected in Y7Jo mayhaps..
anyhow it dont sound like you forgive me when you just got mad at persona players for makin comparisons and here ive gone and done such a thing LMAO(;´д`)(;´д`)in any case, i know how you feel about translations so i wont press the topic: if it aint broke etc etc, i understand how you feel so it's ok (❁´◡`❁;;)
double 'jo' def woulda been funny, if not has always been a small thing worth jokin bout that ive had in the back of my mind (though ive already said that: i have a broken record of a brain at this point, if not that it just points out how silly i find the idea) LMAO. i've always enjoyed antag-turned-party member anyhow, so it wouldve been fun to me regardless of what it brought ♪(´▽`)
#long post#snap chats#i say unnecessary things a lot so its easy for me to say something upsetting oops (´▽`;;;)#its a habit im trying to break- to speak concisely instead of without aim. though if im realistic im not sure i can do that#i can only ask please be patient with me for saying annoying things in the future (❁´◡`❁)#im sure it'll happen a lot by accident and has already happened (❁´◡`❁ ;; ) so ill make sure to remember whats most bothersome (❁´◡`❁)#before my organs shut down on me let me move on OWOWOW#i remember the bit in rggo where jo forgot his wallet i truly couldnt stop myself from sayin My Guy Cmon 😭 ☠️☠️#in the case of rggjo its fun to imagine his forgetfulness as ambiguous cause Truly Did He Mean To Forget Or 🤨#in the case of y7jo its harder to believe hed do it on purpose so in the case where he does its just ☠️☠️#bros Truly losin it.... his mind AND his wallet... i know ichi gon make a joke 😔#aside from that though maybe jo would benefit from having friends his age <- saying this as if he's in grade school ☠️☠️#in the case of the arakawas having a personal favorite bar tho... i couldnt say#ive already made an assessment of jo's sociability through his office so i wanna make a half-confident bet he doesnt like to get out much#lest it's required for Whatever Reason- but what about arakawa then ? much to consider..#i honestly couldnt wager what he'd prefer.. i dont know what atmosphere he'd like... he's too mysterious for me (´▽`;;)#for some reason i can only ever imagine him drinking at home or at quaint restaurants...#idk cant explain it... thats just the vibe... very likely im wrong though..#my organs truly hurt now- i think i gave myself a headache by mistake so ill have to stop my pondering before i explode (´▽`;;)
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Small Exclusive Fairytale update! Hopefully it'll be out by this summer 🥹
https://twitter.com/tyunshii/status/1639643952155426816
According to this anyway (im gonna try not to get TOO excited for my own heart's sake 😭)
yes i saw that! with c-ent especially nothing is ever set in stone, but fingers crossed that everything goes to plan and they stay on track for a summer release this year ;-;
#melia.ask#runningtospringday#previously jun asked the director and she said it would be at least spring this year/wouldnt be before spring#so this still seems in line w that#it also makes sense as a summer drama!#fingers crossed! honestly i havent been to concerned about the release even though i am very eager for it#if this year comes to an end wo it airing then ill start being concerned#but honestly summer this year seems very realistic 🙏#idk if im making sense im rambling a bit lol
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Favorite hobby?
Tough one. I do, like, all of four things and all of those can be considered hobbies...
I guess the only one I can really consider purely a hobby is gaming? While I enjoy an audience or companionship, I do it entirely for myself way more often than, say, art or writing- which, I do often do just for myself! But in some cases that's less to do with enjoyment and more like... keeping my skills sharp, or trying to find an outlet for something, I suppose, ya know? Breaking down "art" to more individual mediums though, just as a bonus- had a lot of fun making clay sculptures, before. I would like to do it again some time! (Only reason I haven't is because it is a long and messy process, honestly.)
#asks#anon#jay.txt#weird one to answer for me honestly- not in like a bad way!#just cause i like... i always kinda just think about the things that I do as being the things that I do. I don't necessarily consider them#as being anything other than a part of my existence I guess. Like I know realistically yeah- hobbies a thing- i just never apply the term +#to my activities I guess??#idk if that makes sense I might be a little Stupid rn (*sort of dazed at the moment from stuff and also a little stoned maybe*)#(*seriously not very though. stoned i mean. just got brain lag rn maybe. of a sort.*)
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REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ― S.JY
What should have never been an option became a routine over the years. This year is different though. It’s time to face what’s been done and put an end to it for good…except your step-brother Jake isn’t ready to face it, and your little boyfriend isn’t going to stand in the way of getting what he wants either. or the one where you made a bad decision in fooling around with your step-brother during your early college days and he refuses to let you put an end to it.
leave feedback and reblog to support me please!
minors do not interact.
WORDCOUNT― 8.9k
PAIRING― step-brother jake sim x afab reader (ft. boyfriend sunghoon)
WARNINGS ― step cest, dub-con/non-con, blackmail, nonconsensual phone sex
NOTE― MIND. THE. WARNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO, shoutout to anon for giving me this idea.reminder that this is not a representation of me or the idols as real life people. anyway, not proof read.
smut tags under cut::
smut tags― non con/dub con, normal size dick jake and mentions of bigger dick sunghoon, implications from jake that sunghoon is actually gay for him, camera use, fisting, degradation, manipulation, phone sex-ish, choking, suffocation, cum stuffing, cream pie, unprotected sex, forced blowjob, crying, break-up implications
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“You’re being ridiculous.” Jake scoffs, leaning against your bedroom dresser with his arms crossed. “We did it last summer, why is this year any different? We always do it.”
You roll your eyes at him in an attempt to hide the guilt you feel, holding the blanket tightly to your chest in case he tries to pull them off of you again. Jake knows damn well why. Not only should it not have happened last year, or the year before that, or the year before that, but to actively and truly believe it’s something that can continue is something only a mad man would think.
Not to mention, you have a boyfriend now. A real boyfriend, one who matters in your life.
“Sunghoon have anything to do with this?” He questions you now, reaching for the blanket and tugging. “Come on, playing around isn’t gonna hurt anything. It’s not like anyone is going to know anyway–”
You huff, yanking your blanket up a bit to pull it from his grasp again. You get why he’s asking and why he’s confused because, well, last summer you were all over the idea like usual. You knew he would expect the same this summer, but honestly, it has to stop. Things have changed. Things needed to change.
“Jake, we can’t be doing that stuff anymore.” You say as if it’s fine, a bite to your voice that hits him right in the gut.
In all honesty though, you really do feel guilty. Like you’ve led him on all these years with his sweet, borderline boyfriendly words. You lived in the fantasy with him for a while, like it could work out despite the family ties. There’s a reality though, one that you found yourself living in upon meeting Sunghoon, and there’s a fantasy that you need to pull Jake out of. You feel awful, especially knowing there’s a part of you that would if you could. But…you can’t, nor can he.
Never again.
Jake feels singled out at this moment. Like he’s the weird one for even asking when you were the one who came onto him when it happened the very first time. All those talks of “we aren’t blood related, it’s not that bad.” and “If our parents divorce, maybe someday we can go on a date or something–” Do they mean nothing now? You’re going to blame him for expecting it?
“Why the fuck not?” He narrows his eyes at you. “Gonna act like you weren’t the one who tried to fuck me at Jay’s party last summer? Acting all high and mighty now, like suddenly it’s so wrong?”
You look away from him, feeling worse because he’s right. Given, the guilt should have hit you after the first time, but it didn’t. You had your fun pushing boundaries but now that graduation is coming up it’s like..it doesn’t feel right. Did he really just expect the two of you to keep fucking well into adulthood? Did he expect you to get married to someone else and still get on your knees during family Christmas parties?
Did he expect to be the one marrying you?
“We have to grow up.” You finally say, shifting your eyes back to him. “This is starting to feel really—gross.”
“Hey–” He looks at you now, almost pleading. “It’s not gross, we aren’t gross.” He takes two steps towards the bed in a fit of desperation, leaning with his hands now palm-down on your mattress. But…when he tries to follow up on his words, he knows you’re serious.
Realistically, despite having been your step-brother since the beginning of high-school…actively choosing to fuck each other as soon as college started was maybe not the best idea. Hormones were high, the freedom to fuck was blatant, and well…it’s not his fault you’d walk around in all those slutty little pajama shorts and try to jump his bones every time you found yourself alone with him. If anything, you’re the one who pulled him into this. He really did think it was gross at first, but thinking with his dick outweighed that, and then his heart decided to play a part in all of it too.
He really does think there could be something here if the two of you worked for it. After all, you’re entirely his type, despite marriage ruining it. The breaking of morals eventually became the best part for him, having what his father wishes he could have solely because you’re just a younger, hotter, version of your own mother.
You even said it yourself all that time ago when it first happened. “It’s ok jakey, you’re a guy. guys have needs.”
Well, what about his needs now?! He was so happy to be able to come home and see you again. He misses you so much when you’re both away at your respective colleges, and he thinks about you all the time. He should have known that something was changing all those months ago when you stopped texting him back as much as you usually would. Now what? He just has to accept that you’re done?
“You’re seriously not going to give it up?” He pushes his hands under the bottom of your blankets, quickly running his fingers up your legs just to try and encourage a giggle, or a smile from you.
That’s when he notes how you haven’t even shaved your legs. Which, it’s not like he gives two fucks on whether you do or not but like…you always shave. Your skin was always so smooth, plump, soft, and moisturized when you knew you’d be wanting to play around with him. And clearly, you don’t expect to be getting fucked this summer.
Ah, he’s starting to resent you.
“Does that boyfriend of yours know about us?” He finally says, standing tall at the end of your bed and looming much darker than his usual, bright persona.
You stare at him, eyes widening.
“Excuse me?” You furrow your brows. “Jake, what the fuck are you sayi–”
Before you can even finish or get a response from him, he’s leaving your bedroom and slamming the door behind him.
Already you know this is going to be a long fucking summer.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jake knew you were a smart girl. You always believe everything he says, but never once has he used that against you until now. That little mention of Sunghoon seems to have made you panic, and he can’t help but find it endearing that you took his threat so easily. Each time he comes home now, from hanging out with your boyfriend, you’re always sitting on the couch like a cute little puppy greeting him with a wagging tail.
If at all, he knows you’re doing it to try and butter him up. To distract him from what you’re taking away from him. Dangling yourself like nothing has changed but denying him time and time again of it. You’re nice, but never this nice. Offering to hang out, watch movies, go out. You’re promising just about everything to him except for the one thing he needs from you.
He’s thankful though, with all circumstances considered, that the good ol’ parents don’t notice a shift in how you’re acting solely because the two of you have always been close. Even before the sex stuff. You were his best friend. He protected you from highschool bullies, potential assholes trying to steal your first kiss, virginity, and even the first experience of sneaking out.
Back then, it’s not like Jake ever wanted to be your first kiss, the one to take said virginity, or sneak you out to parties you shouldn’t be at. Truly, he just wanted to protect you. It wasn’t until the two of you were away from each other for the first time as freshmans in college that he felt some type of way towards you. Which, again, was entirely your fault.
Ah, he still remembers that first summer back home walking into the house and being smacked in the face with a sensual, fruity scent radiating off of you. After not seeing you for three and a half months, he was entirely shocked at how much you had changed. You looked…confident in yourself. Like you’d been growing internally and learning what you want in life. He found it very attractive of you, believing that once you get a boyfriend, they’d be very lucky to have you in their life.
Then of course, you’d bend over in those shorts and look back at him smirking. Like you only saw him as a man now, and not your protective step brother. You’d whine to him about ruined hook-ups, about the frat parties, about all the guys trying to touch you and wishing he was there to keep them off of you. All while…doing that. All while waltzing around like you’d invite him to do the same.
And you did invite him. That first night has been burned into his memory. The fear, the guilt, the disgust, the love he felt for you. So quiet in his bedroom, giggling to each other with all the lights off in the silence of his room, trying to pretend it was only a one-time thing to satiate a specific need. There was nothing kinky, nothing weird outside of the dynamic of who you were supposed to be to each other.
It kept happening after that, and each time the guilt would wash away with the sweat that always dripped onto you from his temple. You could even say it was shy at first, both of you were very generous to each other. It only started getting dirty as the summers at home continued.
And now…nothing? After all of that, nothing?!
If you think you can change so drastically over a single semester, so be it. Jake can change too, and he already has. Both of you now, entirely different compared to that first summer together. You, all jittery and freaked out, him, with all the power.
You though, truly you’re fucking panicking. If your boyfriend found out about all of this, he’d think you’re a freak. Or a slut. Or a piece of trash. Maybe all three of those things and then some. And you know, you’d think Jake is bluffing…really. Except you got a text from Sunghoon the same night Jake tried to get in your pants. You remember reading those words, the pit in your stomach digging deep. “Your bro is gonna come hang out with me for a bit, you’re coming too right?”
Nevermind the fact that Sunghoon lives an hour away from your hometown, where the two of you get to meet in the middle during active semesters on campus. What about the fact that Jake barely fucking knows him?! Through mutual friends (Jay and Heeseung) all three of you were aware of each other, but you’re the one who got the closest to Sunghoon.
You’re his girlfriend now. Which, apparently demoted Jake from popular-porn-trope to actual step-brother.
And that pisses him off.
So, is it weird for Sunghoon to get a sudden hang out text from a guy he assumed is just wanting to get to know him? No. After all, he knows Jake is your “brother.” What he doesn’t and hopefully will never know is that you’ve fucked said step-brother.
Is it weird that you don’t go with Jake to see your own boyfriend? Yes. Unfortunately, Jake basically demanded you “stay in your fucking place. if you wanna get fucked so bad, I’ll be home after.”
Even Sunghoon doesn’t find it weird and texts you everyday as usual. It sucks actually, that he’s so willing to let you do as you please and trusts you to an extent that he doesn’t even ask why you don’t come with Jake. Instead, he’s too busy saying you should definitely join next time, that Jake is super cool and seems to like him a lot.
The good news: Sunghoon offers no mention of knowing, so…it seems you really do have to stay at home. Empty. Wanting to be next to Sunghoon so bad but forced to deal with any oncoming feelings alone.
Since when was Jake even capable of being so awful? Since when did he hate you so much?
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“Jake–please.” You beg quietly, shaking his arm gently in the soft light of the morning. Everyone is sound asleep, which must be fucking nice.
It’s been two weeks now of such loneliness, such lack of sleep, such intense need to just let yourself spiral and drown in anxiety. Jake is barely talking to you now, only giving you sarcastic and evil little smiles from time to time. As if to remind you of what’s at risk. Sunghoon is normal, too normal. So normal, in fact, that he tried to jerk off on facetime last night for you and you ended up crying and apologizing because you couldn’t even get turned on.
Even if Jake hasn’t told him anything, your relationship is already starting to fall apart because of him. He fucking knows it too.
“Please,”
“Please, what?” Your step-brother's sleepy voice croaks out, turning himself on the bed towards you with a single half opened eye.
“I’m losing sleep, please stop doing this to me.”
“No.” He says now, closing his eyes again and turning away from you, nuzzling against his pillow without a care in the world.
“Please.”
“Fuck off–” He complains, throwing his arm behind himself to shove you away and surprised to find that you’ve crawled up on the bed with him.
Just like that night so long ago, the first time the two of you broke past any boundaries.
“I’ll do anything.” You nearly cry, so sleepy, so anxiety ridden, so out of your mind at this point that you genuinely would do anything to feel normal again.
“Anything?”
You feel slight relief in his interest, nodding your head aggressively with a broken voice. “Yes! I promise. I swear, anything you want. Please, just–”
“Then get the fuck out of my room.”
You know better than to disobey at this point. All you can do is sulk back to your room and hope that sleep overtakes you this time. If anything, maybe he will consider your plea in the morning.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
It’s surprising, honestly. Jake didn’t even know he was into seeing you suffer like this, let alone having power over you. He spent so much time protecting you that he never realized how attractive it is to see you fear him. The joy that runs through him now, the orgasms he gets out of it, fuck. Who cares if it’s his own hand doing the work right now? With the thoughts of you doing “anything” like you said, being disgusting, begging, pleading, crying. He might be a little insane for you now, if he wasn’t already.
And still even today, you look so desperate for any amount of relief. Jake finds joy in the fact that you can’t even go to your boyfriend about it.
He’s never felt so powerful, truly. Especially now, watching you try to seduce him as if you didn’t deny him of it before. The slutty shorts are back. You’re not wearing bras anymore. You’ll leave the bathroom stark fucking naked if it happens to just be you and him at home.
Ah, heaven on earth. Honestly, his days are so fun now. Save for when he has to hang out with that fucking idiot of a man Sunghoon. What a loser, honestly. Openly sharing all the stuff you’ve done in bed with him like Jake isn’t your step-brother? If anyone is weird, it’s Sunghoon. Hell, Jake isn’t even sure now if the dude would care if he found out that you’ve ridden some related-by-marriage cock before.
He hates hanging out with him. Always having to hold back the scoffs when Sunghoon is drunkenly slurring out more sex acts you’ve performed on him followed by a love confession and a whine of how much he misses you. As if you didn’t do all of that for Jake first. Ugh, he genuinely can’t believe that you’re even with Sunghoon at all.
After a little while longer though, with the great days and the annoying hang outs, a nice month into summer vacation– Jake’s been ready to take what he needs. You’ve been begging for it, after all. He loves looking and seeing you so desperate for him to stop the mind games but goddamn it’s getting hard to think straight himself by now.
Thankfully, he’s thinking clearly enough whether it’s through his cock rather than his brain to come up with how he’ll go about it. He waits a little more, cock throbbing in his pants due to not allowing himself to get off in the past two days in preparation for this.
Every night when everyone goes to bed, you call Sunghoon. And every night, Jake has listened. Tonight though? Sunghoon will be the one listening.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Like clockwork, the parents have gone to bed and Jake hears the hushed muttering just a room over. He’s already standing to his feet, shooting a hand directly to his bulge to adjust it with a silent groan in his throat. Before he can even leave his room he’s rolling his eyes back with another grope of his sensitive cock, almost unable to stop touching himself after denying himself of it. He’s practically drooling at the image of having you all to himself again. The anticipation he feels inside right now is insane. He feels his skin prickle and his eyes are barely able to focus on his own bedroom door out of sheer arousal of what he’s about to do to you.
He composes himself shortly after, as best he can anyway, tiptoeing to your room and chuckling at the way your eyes light up when you see him. He’s ignored you for too long. Not a single response to anything you’ve said to him, hell, he even stopped letting you see him look at you.
Of course your eyes light up, it means he’s going to stop. It means he’s going to tell you what he wants.
And you’re happy, even with Sunghoon on the line sweet talking to you about his day like usual.
“Hoonie, can I call you back?” You ask quickly into the phone, only to see Jake take a seat next to you on your bed and shake his head at you.
You tilt your head in question, feeling your heart thump in your ears to the point you barely even hear Sunghoon at all.
“Keep talking to him.” He whispers to you now, nearly just mouthing it.
You never knew you were so good at reading lips, but you listen to him. Furrowing your brows in question and adjusting your phone against your ear.
“Nevermind, we’re good.” You say in a voice too calm for Jake’s liking.
And it’s like that for a few minutes as Jake lets you get into the groove of conversing with your boyfriend again before he makes a move. The move he makes? Leaning against you, pressing you back against your pillows, and licking your neck.
He smiles against your skin when he feels it prickle and lets out a whispered chuckle at how much he’s missed the taste of your skin. So warm, so soft. The fact that you’re letting him tells him all he needs to know, despite the way your shoulders stiffen, he knows you’re going to give him anything.
“Gonna let me fuck it again, yeah?” Jake whispers as he moves up against your ear, pinning your arms to your chest, forcing your phone closer to his mouth compared to yours. “Gonna let him hear it too.”
Ah, there she is. You, in all your glory, are already tearing up at the very idea of it.
“Jake, no.” You say, holding your hand over the speaker and body language trying to twist away from him.
“You said anything.” Jake corrects you quietly, slapping your hand off of the speaker and quickly thrusting his own hand between your legs.
He chooses not to be gentle with you this time. He’s not going to be what you’re used to, not after that shit you tried to pull with him. His finger pushes in dry, and he smiles at the way you hold your breath and try to squeeze your legs shut to stop him. Sunghoon on the other end is muffled, but still heard by both of you.
You stay silent throughout his ministrations, pissing him off further, only making him move his hand faster, forcing a reaction, daring you to stop him.
“Phone.” Jake instructs, loosening his other grip on your hands as a means to let you raise the phone back up to your ear. “Talk.”
You stare at him, feeling the burning between your legs of where your body has yet to do anything more than tighten around his fingers. Still, they drag painfully due to your body feeling no pleasure in this. In fact, you’re afraid.
You’re afraid Sunghoon will find out, afraid of Jake, afraid of showing that you like what he’s doing, afraid of realizing you’ll always like this, afraid of losing either of them solely because you can only love, fuck, and be with one of them.
And it’s obvious who the one has to be because…the other isn’t possible. It’s just not.
So, you try. You try to talk, try to relax, try to do everything Jake asks of you solely to prolong the situation enough to where you can find a way to put a proper, healthy end to it.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” You finally croak into the phone, having not heard a single word from Sunghoon this entire time and trying not to focus on that same drag Jake only pushes harder into you with that terrifying smirk.
“I asked if that was Jake I just heard–” Sunghoon responded as brightly as always, bless him.
“Speaker.” Jake mouths to you, and of course you listen. Reluctantly, but you still do it, shaking fingers hitting the speaker-phone button so Jake can hear what’s being said.
“What are you guys doing? Let me hear what?” Sunghoon continues.
Jake flashes a full grin at you and wiggles his eyebrows before he’s pulling his fingers out, sucking them into his mouth, then moving back down with three before shoving them back in with even more force.
“Yeah– Tell him.” Jake says as casually as ever. “Go on, let him in on the secret we’ve been keeping from him.”
Sunghoon hears Jake all too well, but doesn’t question that it’s anything weird. If at all, he wonders if maybe you two have been planning something behind his back considering you never come over when Jake does. Which is actually weird, but he tried not to question it. He and you are practically attached at the hip during the semesters, so, this would make sense.
Of course there is a secret surprise for him!
“I–” You yelp both out of pain and unintentional pleasure, cutting yourself off in a gasp.
You can feel the pit in your stomach dig deeper and deeper, arousing you when it’s the last thing you could ever want at this moment. You know Jake feels it though, with the slide of his fingers becoming easier, and that permanent smile on his face.
Sunghoon feels so far away right now…Like, who are you kidding? He can’t get you out of this and you doubt he’d even want to if you were to ever even consider explaining it to him.
“I–I miss you a lot.” You try to come up with words, missing him being all that you can muster up right now.
Unfortunately, Jake’s scary smile is less terrifying compared to his face now, where he narrows his eyes and glares straight through you for saying such a thing in front of him. He’s trying to crowd four fingers into you now, making you squirm and squeeze your legs together again. He is quick to disallow you though, forcing one of your legs open with his shoulder and spitting directly on your stretched and pulsing hole.
“I miss you too baby–” Sunghoon says in a slightly confused voice. “What else?”
You pause, taking a moment to feel Jake between your legs and how much it…god, it feels so good. But– you’re unsure of how to balance speaking with Sunghoon and dealing with Jake right now. If you have to deal with them both at the same time…this isn’t what you’d prefer.
“I wish you were here right now.”
Sunghoon smiles on his end, assuming Jake has now left your room due to the silence and lack of hearing him now.
“Is Jake still around?” He mutters to you through the speaker, because based on your tone of voice, he knows what mood you’re in.
Jake shakes his head at you, encouraging that you lie before focusing back on watching the hole he’s missed so much. The one Sunghoon’s probably played with before, that fucking loser.
“Nope–J–Just me!” You find yourself forcing a smile as you say it, just to hope your voice comes out in a way that sounds brighter than it feels.
“You wish I was there?” Sunghoon says now, his own voice growing deeper. “Why’s that?” He spreads his legs out wide against his bed, assuming it’s about to be a regular session of facetime fucking.
“Mhm,” You accidentally moan, a bit too obvious. “Just feel safe with you when I’m feeling like this.”
Jake rolls his eyes, slowly forcing his thumb in beside the rest of his fingers, growing more angry, more aroused, and more insatiable towards you.
“How are you feeling right now baby?”
“Empty.”
“Wish you were full of something?” Sunghoon smiles, a cheeky voice calling out to you. “Of me?”
You groan at that moment, all of Jake’s fingers stretch you open until you feel knuckles trying to force past the boundary. Your hands shake at the feeling as your eyes cross momentarily, tears prickle from the pain but it feels so…good. And only a moment goes by before you, quite literally, kick Jake away.
The sudden emptiness you get from that feels so much better, but Jake is too quick to get back up. Fire in his dark eyes as he grabs you by the ankles and pulls you roughly down the bed. There is a small sound that escapes your lips at the action, almost a giggle. You’re quick to tighten your lips though, trying to will your body to stop liking the way Jake is being with you right now. You don’t want this, you don’t like it. You never should have in the first place, and to be honest, you’re trying to force yourself to believe you’re making the right choice in continuing to deny him of this.
It’s only natural that your body wants it, just like it was natural to kick him off of you from the pain, right? And then, Jake reminds you of just how much you regret denying him the first night back home, because he's leaning over you so fast, hugging your waist and forcing all five fingers back into you.
You kick, squirm, whine, and ultimately shout out a “No, no, no!” despite your hips chasing up to let him, almost to invite him. And–oh, fuck. You forgot Sunghoon can hear all of this.
“Baby?” Sunghoon’s voice rings back in your ears. “Are you okay? You’re already touching yourself? Why do you sound so–”
Jake’s own ears are ringing watching your body fight your brain. You still want him. He can tell by the way you look at him with those tear-filled eyes, with the way your pussy is dripping for this, the way your hips beg him to keep abusing you. Who is he to deny you? He has never denied you pleasure. So, he tries to force more, more, more into you. There’s a boundary here, your pussy clenched so tight around his fingers already, but you want him to keep pushing until he breaks the boundary. You want to feel the pain of it and…finally, he does get it in. His entire hand being gripped so tightly that even he seethes out a pained moan for you.
“Fuck–” He holds his fist in place, removing himself from your waist to look at you. “You really took it all.”
There’s tears in your eyes by this point and you can’t tell if it’s from realizing how much you need Jake, or the fact that Sunghoon definitely knows something is up. No words are coming out though, you’re more afraid to speak what you feel than you are of Jake right now.
“Jake?” Sunghoon questions, confused.
“Yeah, what’s up?” Jake responds with a smile instantly, staring right at you as he begins to fuck a size far too big into you, watching you bite your tongue to keep from showing him how much you love it.
“Wait–” Sunghoon continues with a pause. “What’s going on?”
“I couldn’t help myself.” Jake smiles at you, wiggling his eyebrows again. “After all those things you told me about her, I guess I needed to see for myself.”
And then, you moan. That searing pain inside of you somehow subsides, shaking legs and hands are gripping onto Jake in his entirety now, you’re practically drooling for it.
“I guess you were right.” Jake continues. “She really can take a lot, huh? Bet your dick didn’t feel this good for her though.”
You’re truly unable to comprehend most of what’s happening right now, even the phone vibrating in your hand as Sunghoon goes silent and instead, hangs up before instantly facetiming you. You’re so hyper-fixated on the feeling of knuckles dragging against your tightly clenched walls, choking back every sound or word you want to scream out.
Jake watches as you cry a bit harder now, probably a bit too overwhelmed with the situation. Like the good step-brother he is though, He’ll take care of it for you, of course he will.
“What’s the hold up?” Jake laughs, halting his hand as he reaches for the phone and instantly answers it. He stares down as you continue to fuck yourself on it, smiling at your brief whine before he speaks into the receiver with a confident voice. “Cat’s outta the bag.”
Sunghoon is there on the screen, witnessing the way Jake angles the phone more at himself and your hole than your face. His entire fist has disappeared inside of you, glistening with a sticky mess that spills out of you.
Nothing else is said as Sunghoon stares at it. Jake being a cocky bastard and sticking his tongue out like some idiot frat boy, and then? He hears you.
“Jake, stop!” You cry out.
He doesn’t stop, in fact, he fucks his fist into you quickly making damn sure Sunghoon can not only see how your wet spurts out around his wrist, but hear it too.
“Stop what? Showing your boyfriend what you really want?”
“Hang up the phone!” You cry out again, showing Sunghoon that perhaps…you don’t miss him at all.
Jake isn’t doing anything you don’t want. You just don’t want your boyfriend to witness you be so honest with yourself.
“Awh,” Jake pouts now, angling the phone back at himself and feeling proud of the way Sunghoon appears to be entirely shocked, mouth hung open, eyebrows furrowed. “But he needed to know, baby, didn’t he?” He adds now, lying the phone down briefly to pull his cock out.
“Come on now, don’t be shy.” Jake continues with his confidence, picking the phone back up and angling it towards you.
He intentionally drags his fist in and out of you a few more times before gently pulling it out, moaning at the way it sounds, obsessing over it really. Sunghoon watches in horror at the way you squeeze your eyes shut, sadly wondering what Jake must be doing off screen for you to look so fucking guilty. The horror only grows when he has to watch Jake’s cock come on screen, pussy soaked hand jerking himself off before shoving the head right against your lips.
God, you know Sunghoon hates you now.
Jake knows it too, and doesn’t care as he uses that same soaked hand and pries your lips apart before pushing it into your mouth. He thrusts forward too quick for you to take a breath, and you feel the leaking tip hit the back of your throat in a way that makes you choke and gag around him.
Your eyes shoot open, looking up at him and barely able to comprehend the camera just inches from your face.
Sunghoon has seen you look up at him like this too. Why aren’t you fighting Jake though? Why are you willingly gagging, choking, and drooling all over yourself with such a forceful fuck to your face? You always pull off of him when he tries to thrust even a little bit…but you’re..
“I–” Sunghoon goes to say, still staring at you and the way you’re shamefully getting your mouth fucked open. “That is fucking disgusting.” He finally lets out, but he can’t look away. He doesn’t want to see this but…he can’t bring himself to hang up.
“Yeah, that’s what she thinks too.” Jake chuckles with a heaved breath, enjoying himself, now angling the phone at his face. “I think she likes it though– wouldn’t you agree?”
There goes the camera again, pointing right at your choking mouth. Jake pushes all the way in too, letting your nose rest against his pelvis and moaning loudly for Sunghoon to hear.
“Shit, see? She’s not even fighting it.”
Sunghoon can’t tell only because Jake doesn’t let him. You’re gripping Jake’s hips and trying to push him out of your mouth, but he stays in place, enjoying the way your choking and suffocating throat jerks him off better than his own hand ever could.
The best part? He knows you’re only pushing him away to breathe because you weren’t fighting at all at first. In fact, he felt you silently hum against him like you want his cock so bad. So, he’s not actually lying. He just thinks it’s polite to not let Sunghoon know how you’re suffocating right now.
Oh well.
Only after your eyes start to fog over and roll back does Jake pull out, relishing in that wet gasp you lend. He looks down at the phone now, wanting to make sure Sunghoon witnessed all of that before realizing he fucking hung up.
Who the fuck hangs up on imagery like that? Fucking idiot, is what Sunghoon is.
To be fair though, Sunghoon hung up shortly before Jake pulled out. He had to force himself to do it, because he didn’t quite enjoy the way his cock jumped at the image of his girlfriend letting her step-brother fuck her mouth like that. He’s entirely blindsided. Like, not only are you cheating on him, but he had to see it like that?! In 4k?! God, his stomach would be in knots to catch you like this with anyone, but the fact that it’s with…Jake. Of all people.
You’re fucking your own brother.
None of that matters to Jake though, nor does it matter to you at this moment as the tears continue to pour from your eyes knowing that Jake did this on purpose and for a reason. It’s insane how kind he is to you now that Sunghoon isn’t watching, actually. Lending you a deep, meaningful kiss before sinking back down the bed and resuming his previous position.
“You liked this.” He comments, seeing if his hand will still fit, and moaning when it does. “You’re so fucking wet it’s insane.”
God, you know he’s punishing you yet you can’t bring yourself to be mad about it because already you can feel the bubbles in your stomach threaten an orgasm. Proving to both Jake and yourself that…you do like it. Never have you even imagined wanting a whole goddamn fist in you before now but–you more than like it. You love it.
In fact, feeling his hand dragging in and out of you now makes you forget about the way you nearly just died with a cock in your throat. You’re already moaning again, actually.
And fuck, you promised you’d do anything to keep this a secret, and while doing that anything for him, no matter how willing, he still fucking told. He fucking showed the dirty acts to the last person on earth you’d ever want to see, hear, or know. The crying is a given, from both the anxiety, the fear, and the pleasure because you can’t stop the oncoming orgasm or the love you have for the man giving it to you either.
The way he holds you through it should disgust you, with his fist buried so deep your orgasm comes in long, drawn out and painful waves. He grips onto you though, whispering more to himself against your thigh than to you, “I’ve got you. I’ll always have you, it’s okay.”
You don’t want to melt for him, but you do. Even through your ringing ears it’s like your body instinctively hears his whispers when you shouldn’t. The words bring comfort, reminding you that he’ll still protect you even from Sunghoon and what he feels about this situation. Even from your parents, from outsiders, from everything.
The orgasm feels like it bruises your brain, a throbbing headache coming shortly after when Jake takes on a more gentle persona and pulls his hand from you. He inspects your open cunt for a moment, seeing how wet it is inside for him before it pulses closed and he averts his gaze to his hand.
Glistening, so wet. You needed that, he thinks. The reminder that he’s the only one who can love you in more ways than you truly need.
“You did so well.” He compliments, crawling up and over you to wipe those tears with the same hand.
You don’t move away, if anything you need this comfort now more than anything because you simply don’t know what to feel, or think, or admit right now. You think Jake already knows, he wouldn’t need you to say it simply because he’s always read you like a book.
“No more pretending you don’t want this.” He says now, in a darker voice. “Even with Sunghoon listening, you moaned my name. I don’t think you remember doing that, do you?”
You cry more, closing your eyes tightly and pretending like Jake’s hand is Sunghoon’s. You really liked Sunghoon, genuinely thought you could have a future with him. Even so, pretending that Jake is him doesn’t bring safety because you almost would prefer it be Jake. A hand you’re so familiar with.
He had been so awful to you recently, and only now do you realize that…maybe it really was for your own good.
“You don’t need him.” Jake says now, adjusting himself between your legs.“Not when you have me. You know I’ll take care of you.” He continues, slipping his cock deep into your already loosened hole.
He’s shocked that you still manage to be tight after all of that, but he guesses that’s just how pussies work. Or how yours works, anyway. He knows it more than he knows his own cock at this point, which is insane.
Feeling him inside of you, so familiar, slightly smaller than Sunghoon– it’s…comforting. The tears that spill from you now are more for missing him than anything. You can’t help it when you wrap your legs around him or throw your arms around his shoulders, shivering and clinging to him like he’s your last line of sanity despite everything about this being entirely insane.
“Jake–” You moan at how he fucks you, so much softer than with his hand but…normal. Like the first time you ever did this with him. “I really want you but,”
Jake pauses, feeling that same pit in his stomach at how you say those words.
“What you just did to me could ruin my life.” You finally say, still clinging, not at all asking him to stop. “What you’re doing right now, will ruin my life.”
“Don’t be silly. Your life will be ruined without me, baby, you know that, right?” He says, reminding you of who has the power by quickening his hips and pointing his cock directly at your already sensitive g-spot. “You can’t say no to me, you tried and still you want me.”
You nod your head in agreement despite wishing he was wrong.
“We can’t.” You say to him in a half-groaned whisper. “I’m begging you to stop.”
If at all, you’re just begging him to stop being what you want. To stop being able to have a hold over you like this. To stop being everything that Sunghoon isn’t and still being the most desirable man in your life. To stop being your step-brother. To stop being a taboo in your life, if only to become someone you’re allowed to need like this.
“No.” Jake says, unknowing of what you’re actually asking of him. “I’ll never stop.”
With those words, you moan. He’s promising something that neither of you should feel or need, but you accept it. Shocked at the way you feel him inside of you like always, no pain, or lack of feeling from the previous size fucked into you. It’s just…Jake. Intentionally fucking you harder to punish you for words that are actually fighting more for him than against him.
“Okay.” You whimper, falling silent with your broken voice fading into nothing but cries of the inevitable.
For all Jake knows, you’re asking him to stop this. What he’s doing to you right now, not for anything else that you meant it for. For your own sake, because you know that after this, you truly may not be able to pull yourself from this fantasy with him. Technically, he’s showing you that he’s willing to hurt you to keep you. To take it from you if that’s what it takes to get what he wants. And that hurts a lot to know, a pain deep within you making you spiral a little more than you ever thought you could.
He’d really go as far as to keep going when you’re crying for him to stop? If just to show you that he…loves you? No, maybe just that he wants this, he wants you.
You want this, but it’s the fact that he just knows. Even if you say no, even if you beg or plead for him to stop, he’ll just keep going because he knows better than you that you’ll always want him in return. Even if you’re lying to yourself, even if you were able to truly convince yourself that this isn’t at all what you want. Even if it feels like Jake is committing atrocities right now, he knows he’s not. He’s not, even if you say he is.
And at the end of the day, right now. He truly isn’t.
You can feel your heart rotting at all that’s lost now. A life with someone normal. A life where you’re normal and can be seen hand in hand with the love of your life as you grocery shop, or get ice cream, or even just take the future dog on a walk. Your dreams are dying, and you can’t stop them.
You feel a burning pain throughout your body at the force of him now, seemingly trying to fuck your concern away from you. Only now do you open your eyes to look at him, he’s just shapes now. Your tears are messing up the normal clear view you’d have, but you can tell he’s smiling lovingly.
He doesn’t care that he just ruined your relationship, he doesn’t care that you’re his step-sister, he doesn’t care nor think of how the future could work if he were to keep trying to follow this path, and continue to make you realize you’ll willingly walk down it with him….not when he’s getting this from you.
Not when he knows that, now at least, he’ll always get what he wants.
You cling harder to him now, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth as you lift to his shoulder and tuck your face there, replacing your lip with his warm and pulsing skin. Jake is pleasantly surprised by this, after all that he did to you, he really thought he’d have to work harder to get these lips to willingly suck on his skin again without him puppeteering you.
“Yeah?” He turns his face against your forehead as you suck, still crying and tasting the salt from your tears mixed with the saliva you’re drooling onto him. “Sunghoon can’t make you feel this good?” He continues to talk himself up.
You remain silent as you try to drown out your thoughts with the pleasure he gives instead, feeling the way his normally gentle hands are rough holding you up, feeling the way your body shifts with each thrust up, hearing the way he breathes for you, speaks for you, and moans for you.
You hate to say you love it right now. Hate that you let your dream of a normal life die so easily. Hate you love him enough to let him do this to you, really.
“Jake–” You hiccup, exhausted. “I can’t believe you’d go this far.”
Only in those words do you realize how taboo and…erotic it is. To have a man willing to not only claim you as his own through forcing jealousy on your boyfriend and pain on you, but you guess the borderline sexual assault is another thing.
It’s not that you’re into it. In fact, you’re terrified of that. But it’s just…the way he knows you is attractive. The way he will protect you from any situation he caused…turns you on, even if he’s the one you need protecting from. God, the way he’ll fuck you through all the lies you tell yourself.
Shit.
“I’d go further.” He chuckles, out of breath as he chases the expanse of your clenched walls. “Would���ve brought you to his house and fucked you right there at his front door. Let everyone know.”
You shake your head out of fear of that situation at first, and then suddenly find yourself smiling and losing your mind a bit. God, that would be hot if it were like, you know, not something that would get you disowned by not only family, but literally everyone aside from Jake.
“Should’ve seen his face, baby–” Jake moans just thinking about it, loving that he has what no one else can have. “Said he was disgusted but…I think he was turned on. Really, couldn’t look away from you sucking my dick like that– God,” He cuts himself off by grabbing at you, shoving you back down and into your pillows, both hands running up your shirt and pushing it up to your collarbone. He gropes and pinches at your tits, half of his plush bottom lip caught between his teeth as sweat drips into his eyelashes.
“Couldn’t tell if he wished he was me–” A sarcastic laugh. “or maybe even you.” His moans continue to mesh with his laughter, now moving one hand to your neck and leaning down to lick against your lips with another pointed thrust. “I’d never fuck anyone better than I’ll fuck you though.”
“Gotta say, if he wanted it bad enough, he’d look pretty choking on it too. Never as pretty as you.” He continues talking, and talking, and talking.
You don’t really process his words though, or recognize if he’s being truthful or just making shit up, nor do you care. To be fair, there isn’t anything in this world left to care about aside from him now. Not yourself, not Sunghoon, your parents, or anyone out wandering the world right now.
“Stop–” You moan at the way he rubs his pelvis against your clit with his now, deeper thrusts. “Stop fucking talking about him.”
He smiles wide against your lips in victory, feeling his muscle tense up at you asking to forget about Sunghoon. And so, he listens to you for the first time since you’ve been home, he fucking listens.
Jake says nothing now, instead he focuses his hips and notes how now, your pussy feels too used. Or maybe his cock is just numb and oversensitive, he’s not sure. It’s not hard really, to reach down and shove three fingers into you alongside his cock, offering extra sensation to both his balls and the underside of his length as he continues to fuck into you with what he can only assume to be a painful stretch.
His body shivers with an embarrassing moan at that, rolling his eyes back.
“You hate him?” Jake says, but it sounds more like a plea for you to agree as he chases an orgasm far too fucking close.
You don’t respond because at this point his words are just there as fluff in your head. You’re more focused on the insecure feeling inside of you at how he’s had to use his hand to help him get off. It...feels so bad knowing that you can’t give him what he wants after all this. After you promised. And, so, you build up the courage to lift quickly, catching him off guard, and hug him around his neck.
There, his fingers skew slightly, to the point it’s painful for him to keep them in place and he’s forced to pull them back and instead, hold you up in his own hug as he spirals. God, he missed you so much. Look at you now, after trying to deny him, deny yourself of wanting this. You’re bouncing on him like you always have, frantically moving your hips with no rhyme or reason, solely to get him off.
He lets out a loud moan, not caring if your parents wake up to it. Not caring about anything but the pussy choking his cock out now. The change in position offered a new form of tightness, and he doesn’t need an extra boost of pleasure anymore. Not with you breathing against his mouth like this, still crying, except now it’s like you’re crying because he hasn’t gotten off yet.
“Yeah, that’s it.” He nods his head, lips playing with yours with each nod of his head as he squeezes his eyes shut. “Fuck, you always know what I like.”
Just like that, all of your insecurity is washed away. You feel him twitch inside of you, and the way his hands nearly bruise you in this hug feels…right. It’s what you need, what you want.
“He ever cum in you?” Jake pants out, noting the way you aggressively shake your head in an answer.
And normally, he’d pull out. Normally, there’s a condom involved in this. Not today though, even as you note the familiar sound choking from his throat, and that even more familiar twitch of his cock. You try to pry yourself away from him, palms pressing on his chest as you argue.
“Jake! Pull out, Let me up!”
He doesn’t let you though. Instead, he grabs both of your wrists and presses you right back down on the bed, overpowering you through his orgasm and fucking all of that cum right into you. Intentionally, with purpose.
“No,” He croaks out in a breath, still lost in his orgasm. “I won’t.”
You try to wiggle away from him still, despite knowing he’s already started cumming. What’s the point now if not just to still have some type of control over your own body? He, again, doesn’t let you, pressing your wrists painfully into your own stomach, forcing you to feel each pulse and spurt of him for the first time through the pressure of his hold.
He’s never done this to you before, then again, This isn’t the same Jake you’re used to no matter how much you try to relate the feelings and love to the Jake you were with last summer. And…you need to lie to yourself right now at how good it feels to have him fuck his cum into you well past his orgasm, because admitting it would be the last thing you could do tonight to really throw you off the deep end.
He makes you admit it though, still fucking his cock into you regardless of how it’s growing softer and softer by the second. Doing it solely because he knows more cum will drip out as he shrinks back down. He wants to feel each second of your walls clenching, trying to push him out and knowing it never can.
He holds you down harder now, wincing at his own sensitivity as he plays with himself inside of you, lending pained chuckles and eye rolls with each sound of disgust you make towards him for it. And only after he slips out and can’t manage to fold it back into you does he really look at you.
Tilting his head with an innocent smile on his face, he releases your hands and shoots his own up to your face, cupping both cheeks before leaning down and kissing you as hard as he can with what little breath he has left.
“I deserved that.” He says between kisses. “You deserved it.” He sounds slightly irritated saying that part, but his kiss stays gentle and sweet. “You owed me this.”
You’re not sure if he meant any of that, but you find yourself agreeing.
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