#honestly though id start by thinking of death in a different light

[iztea]

Iz This is a kinda edgy question but i rlly need i solution,how can u get over grief or wtv like smth that'll make u feel better over a close person that js died

have something or someone to keep you busy. The worst thing you can do is sit around ruminate in the beginning. Grief is one of the hardest and most inevitable human experiences, you just can't process it when it first hits you. So distance yourself mentally, at least for the first few days. Physically, too, if you can. If you have someone, hang out with them and do something completely unrelated. if you dont, play your comfort game, go shopping, or do a brain numbing activity that brings you comfort.

But in all honesty, there is no action that will ever fill the void or make it better. I really believe in the "time heals all wounds" saying, because we were blessed with forgetfulness (for better or for worse). Imagine if we had to remember every single traumatic thing that had happened to us, that would be hell. Forgetting doesn't make the grief go away, but it dilutes the intensity

Personally though, the thing I found alleviates the pain and guilt the most is reframing your thoughts and opinion on the concept of death itself: take consolation in the fact that at least they're not struggling in this world anymore, this life is hard and full of filth, death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person, you know? It's like a peaceful sleep, so maybe you can imagine them finally resting somewhere where the grass is greener, watching over you, smiling. Maybe it's only you who is hurting, maybe there is nothing to cry over in the first place, maybe they're waiting for you and maybe you'll be reunited, who knows? This world is only temporary, and nothing is ever truly yours, it's just borrowed. What else is there to do but wait and honour their life by living yours? If you keep them in your memory, they will live forever, they're never truly gone

It's not an edgy question, I wish i could say something better but there is no real consolation besides the idea of an afterlife, which is another can of worms. You just have to be kind and gentle with yourself and don't let it linger, cut yourself when you feel like spiralling, it doesnt aid you, and pleaase please have someone to keep you company. You have my sincere condolences

[ddarker-dreams]

for some reason nexus, by far, is the story where i felt most 'trapped'. honestly, i loved the way you wrote nexus, it feels a lot like a movie wtfff....

i often get a sense that most of your works are a lot reminiscent to classic novels to me, but this one felt like a movie! its actually amazing how flexible u are lol

mommy issues aside, that will be in another ask- lear. that hurt me.

i have to admit, i didnt really care for lear so much until ch 3 or 4, because i finally realized wow this guy is actually.............. genuinely nice. hes cute. in irl id maybe have heart eyes for a guy like him.

the sequence where reader has flashbacks of lear and lear probably being the first and only person to know her intimately (IN AN EMOTIONAL SENSE NOT THAT WAY) absolutely hit me harder because i eventually thought "WHY didnt i pay attention to lear in the first place?!" i initially didnt care for him because my mind was all BLADEE BLADEEEE, but now... fuck, lear, i shouldve been with you since day 1.

another interesting thing id like to think about is how reader's regrets, are definitely feelings that nona and lear are experiencing as well. all three are most likely, simutaneously although perhaps now lightyears away instead of mere walls parting them, thinking about their regrets over a loss thats almost like death. where will lear ever put his love now that n darling isnt around anymore? he can only look back to his memories and pray that it's enough to soothe him. would nona regret ever being mean to n darling, skipping her studies, and perhaps later on she would viewed herself as a burden to n darling in the past?

so much to think about, and so little emotional capacity i have to hold the overflowing emotions...

i love nexus and especially YOU LOCK !!!!!

omg i think it's cool that you found nexus' style similar to a movie... the scenes i imagined in my head felt cinematic-ish, especially n darling recalls previous dialogue at certain moments for emotional amplification™. i didn't think about it reflecting in the writing much, but i see what you mean now 😌 there's a lot of emphasis on visuals for prose and metaphors.

A LEAR TRUTHER !!! i wanted him to serve as a foil to blade, so i think once blade started pulling more shenanigans, lear's care for n darling stands out more. lear could've fallen in that possessive pitfall but he's simply built different.

aaa regrets and "i should've x" feel like some of the most effective forms of horror, since it's a universal experience. maybe not the exact scenarios themselves, but everyone's had that moment when they realized how they should've done things differently. when the news comes to light, lear will undoubtedly be emotionally devastated. nona will be as well, though her pain would manifest in anger more than depression. she'd be mad at n darling first, then mad at herself for not being able to do anything to help.

i can't leave them in suffering limbo though 😭 the astral express crew will be who take care of the stellaron crisis on eris. inevitably, they'll meet with lear and nona. the grief won't go away entirely, but the express crew will do/say things that help.

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! i loved reading your thoughts 🥺 thank you thank you!!!!

[hskinhome]

I DONT REALLY KNOW IF THIS WILL WORK BUT I WANT TO TRY

MIGHT BE LONG SO SORRY IF IT IS, IM SUPER CANON DIVERGENT IM SOME BITS

IM KARKAT VANTAS, IM A HOST IN A SYSTEM (BODILY 15 BUT IM 16)

IM HONESTLY LOOKING FOR ANYONE BUT ERIDAN AND ESPECIALLY DAVE, GAMZEE, SOLLUX, TAVROS, EQUIUS, KANAYA ,ROSE AND KANKRI

IM FROM A DOOMED TIMELINE WHERE I DIED AT THE END OF THE 3 YEAR METEOR TRIP, JACK CAUGHT UP TO US AND WE FOUGHT HIM BUT LOST.

I WENT GOD TIER BUT HAD MY WINGS RIPPED OFF, SO I WAS REALLY PROTECTIVE OF MY BACK MOST OF THE TIME

GOD TIERING FOR MY TIMELINE WAS WHERE YOUD GET TRAITS OF WHATEVER YOU PROTOTYPED YOUR SPRITE WITH, SO I HAD SHELL PLATES ON MY BACK AND EVERYONE HAD FEATURES RELATING TO WHATEVER THEY PUT IN IT

I DIDNT HAVE A LUSUS OR HIVE UNTIL ABOUT A SWEEP BEFORE THE GAME AND THEN I GOT ADOPTED, MY CRABDAD DIDNT REALLY HAVE A NAME EVER AND LOOKED MORE LIKE A LOBSTER OR KRILL (LOL CRAWDAD TOO)

MY GAMZEE AND I BECAME FRIENDS WHEN WE WERE REALLY LITTLE, ID STAY AT HIS HIVE A LOT WHEN IT WAS COLD OUT AND HE PROTECTED ME FROM WHEN PEOPLE FOUND OUT ABOUT MY BLOOD AND TRIED TO HURT ME. WE NEVER SPLIT UP AND STAYED MOIRAILS EVEN IN THE DREAM BUBBLES AND WE GOT "MARRIED"

MY DAVE WAS ALBINO AND WORE SUNGLASSES BECAUSE HIS EYES WERE SENSITIVE TO THE LIGHT. HE HAD BLACK CROW WINGS ON HIS BACK AND HIS HANDS HAD TALONS, HE COULDNT FLY WITH HIS WINGS BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO SMALL BUT BEING GOD TIER LET HIM FLY STILL. WE WERE MATESPRITES GOT MARRIED IN THE DREAM BUBBLES TOO, ALL OF MY QUADRANT MATES AND I GOT MARRIED

MY EQUIUS WAS MY KISMESIS, WE DIDNT START OUR RELATIONSHIP UNTIL WE WERE BOTH DEAD THOUGH. WE GOT "MARRIED" TOO, THOUGH IT WAS MORE OF US THROWING RINGS AT EACHOTHER LOL

ME AND MY TAVROS WERE MATESPRITES, HE HAD HIS LEGS CUT OFF AND CRAWLED ON HIS HANDS SO HE WAS SUPER BUFF, HIS ARMS WERE COVERED IN SCRATCHES BECAUSE OF HIS ACCIDENT AND HOW OFTEN HIS ARMS WOULD GIVE OUT WHEN HE FIRST LOST HIS LEGS. HE WORE HIS HAIR SPIKED UP LIKE A MOHAWK WHEN IN THE DREAMS BUBBLES BECAUSE RUFIOH HELPED BOOST HIS CONFIDENCE. WE GOT MARRIED TOO.

SOLLUX AND I WERE VASCILATING FLUSHED AND PALE, HE WAS SUPER NERDY AND I SWEAR SAID "UM ACTUALLY" UNIRONICALLY. WE GOT MARRIED TOO, THOUGH HE ONLY REALLY DID IT FOR THE FOOD BUT ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. WE HONESTLY WERE MORE FLUSHED, BUT WE HAD OUR VERY PALE MOMENTS.

KANAYA TOOK CARE OF ME A LOT WHEN WE BOTH DIED, SHE HELPED A LOT. WHEN WE ALL DIED IT WAS LIKE EVERYTHING BROKE, AND EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ALSO SO SCARED TOO SHE HELPED ME THROUGH IT AND HELPED ME THROUGH THAT BAD TIME. SHE TOOK CARE IF ME LIKE A LUSUS DID, AND SHE HELPED A LOT

ROSE WAS LIKE HER PARTNER IN CRIME (AND LITERAL PARTNER) IM BABYING PEOPLE ISTG, SHE WAS LIKE LUSUS/MOM 2 FOR ME, I SWEAR THEY BOTH BASICALLY ADOPTED ME FOR A WHILE AFTER WE ALL DIED

KANKRI AND I ACTUALLY GOT ALONG REALLY WELL, HED LISTEN TO ME WHEN I NEEDED TO RAMBLE AND ID LISTEN WHEN HE WANTED TO. HE REALLY DIDNT CARE IF ANYONE WAS LISTENING, HE JUST WANTED THE PRESENCE, BUT I TRIED TO LISTEN ANYWAYS. HIS RAMBLING WAS BORING AT FIRST BUT IM PRETTY SURE HE WAS JUST TRYING TO BE GOOD BUT KINDA NOT FIGURING OUT HOW HE WAS BEING TOO CAREFUL. I MISS HIM A LOT TBH, AND I DONT REGRET LETTING HIM RAMBLE TO ME ONE BIT

SOME OTHER IMPORTANT STUFF IS HOW IN MY MEMORIES, THE DREAM BUBBLES INCLUDED ALL VERSIONS OF EVERYONE. SO EVEN ADULT ME AND THE SIGNLESS WERE THERE, AND I REMEMBER SEEING GRANDPA HARLEY A FEW TIMES!

I REMEMBER BEATING BRO STRIDER UP ONCE TOO, ALMOST TO "SECOND DEATH" BECAUSE HE WAS HORRIBLE TO MY DAVE. GOOD BROS ARE COOL THOUGH 👍

I THINK THATS IT. SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG, I JUST AM A BIT DIFFERENT AND ITS KINDA SUCKY

IM DOING THIS ANONYMOUSLY BECAUSE WE HAVE A FEW OTHERS WHO MIGHT DO CANON CALLS LATER, MY @ IS @xarcinogeneticist

Go message it if this sounds familiar!

-Mod Nepeta

[akidachi]

me @ all TMA fans now that the show is over

[image ID// photo of bernie sanders with the text “i am once again asking you to watch Yu-Gi-Oh! gx //end ID]

yes yes i know recomending the cardgame anime spinoff is propably the weirdest thing i could be doing but trust me it has a LOT of thematic smilarities and depending on your reason for liking tma you may very well like gx as well

a quick bullet point list of reasons to watch gx from a tma fans perspective:

explores themes of loss, sacrifice, inhumanity, consequences, depression, the inevetability of fate, spitting in the face of said fate and all that fun stuff

subverting the traditional associations of light and dark as good and evil

“you can still be friends with someone you want to use”

(yes i know that one is more a81 but it applies)

GREAT protagonist character development

completely breaking the protagonist down to their bare essentials throughout the course of the series (but especially during s3)

Canon Typical Guilt Complex

strong supporting cast

characters with supernatural powers

canon non-binary character

on that note

canon nblm character

canon (?) mlnb character

european (?) character that ISNT italian, german, french or brittish for once (a personal pet peeve of mine)

the struggles of growing up and the uncertainty and fear of what the future may hold

and last but not least

the slow series long descent into despair that every ygo spinoff has to some extent but damn if season 3 didnt set a high standard it got dark

all that said i do think i should warn you that wheni say the show gets dark i mean it gets dark. the ygo series overall might shy away from a bit of blood but it is not at all afraid of diving into heavier themes and making you feel it. do not be fooled by the lighthearted nature of the first season it is not afraid to make you cry.

 which seems strange for a show thats seemingly just a childrens cardgame anime but when you take into account that ygo started out as a horror manga, and only switched over to the cardgame structure when the duel monsters arc took off, it makes a lot more sense.

(further talking and content warnings below the cut)

all that said heres a couple content warnings (in no particular order):

child abuse

childhood trauma

emotional and financial abuse

less than stellar family members in general

memory loss

medically induced amnesia (yes these are seperate instances)

themes of suicide

themes of depression and isolation (canon typical Lonely content but its all of gx s4)

unreality / dream logic (kinda. again, s4)

cults

brainwashing, mind control and manipulation

loss of physical and mental autonomy (of a sort)

genocide

implied death of children

confirmed death of children

mentions of real world tragedies (offhand once or twice in s2)

significant mental and emotional torment of the main character

temporary character death

permanent character death

(no neither of these are the typical “shadow realm” ygo deaths im talking about regular dying, and not of the fun and peaceful kind either)

(yes several of these are on screen)

also please not that some of these content warnigns apply to all of, or multiple series of ygo

especially themes of suicide, child abuse, and genocide, all 3 of which are covered in every ygo series on SOME level with varying severity

it may seem tempting to skip straight to season 3, as a lot of the more tma esque content is found there (though s2 goes hard as well in my opinion) i really do recomend watching the show from start to finish, as pretty much all the characters experience some level of character development, and seeing them all change throughout the series is an absolute treat.

also on the dub vs sub debate i really do reccoment watchign GX subbed. not bc dubbed anime are nessecatily bad but bc Dub and Sub GX are practically 2 entirely different shows with the amount of changes 4kids decided to make, as well as season 4 not having a dub at all as 4kids wanted to move on to 5ds instead.

(on a semi related note if the anti establishment aspects of tma are more your jam youll propably like 5ds, which has themes of poverty, classism, said eat the rich and litterally abolished the police force by the end of the series while also being about playing cardgames on motorcycles at the same time)

(honestly i could propably make a whole post on the central themes of each ygo series they really take a theme and apply it EVERYWHERE)

also a more recent note

if you like tragedy and big sad

WATCH VRAINS

its like 1 tiny detail away from being a tragedy

i knew what was coming and it still wrecked me

[miss-ali-lawliet]

Heyy!! I was wondering if you could do a L x reader where the reader gets killed by Kira because they were involved with L. If you aren’t confortable writing this it’s ok! Thank you~

Hello Anon and thank you for the request!! I'm comfortable with it and even though I'd rather see L being happy, I am a sucker for angst. So hopefully I do this justice!

Also note I have rewritten this way too many times to count 😭 I really tried my best, but I'm so sorry this took so long! Also there was technically two requests asking for the same sort of thing. I’ll get to the next headcanons as soon as I can, but hope whoever is reading this had a great day/night wherever you are!

CW: Death, angst, fluff, kind of long

It was yet another normal day for the genius detective who called himself L. He had spent a majority of the day working with the task force members on the Kira case, mainly in monitoring the cameras inside the task force headquarters as well. It wasn't just the task force and Watari he was working with though, he also had the person he called his partner, in both work and romantically. 

Being in a relationship was obviously nothing he sought out or even bothered thinking about as he grew up, mainly finding himself way too focused with his work. He never thought of himself as someone to ever be with someone romantically and it was something he didn't feel sad about, he just didn't see the point in such a matter and didn't have the time for it. Yet that all changed when you entered his life. 

You were something he never expected. You came in and even though he may have tried to ignore you or treat you as he would with any person he would meet, you were different. You had met him years before the Kira case and made it clear that you simply wished to be by his side no matter what. Something he never understood, but never doubted as you had proven to him time and time again how loyal you were and that no matter the challenge, you would conquer them together. 

So he has asked you to work with him behind the scenes and you accepted. It seemed to have worked out very well too, as you had remained at his side unknown to the rest of the world just how he planned. It seemed like no case could do anything to knock either of you down, and L had even asked for you to move in with him. It was great, and it felt like you two could handle anything together. 

Then Kira came to be. 

L didn't want you to get involved at first, but once again your stubborn nature would prevail.

"If you have to risk your life by going to Japan, I will do the same. I will not stand by and let you do this alone!" 

It was one of the things you said, and it was the main thing that stood out to him and at that point he knew you wouldn't back down. So he agreed, letting you join him and Watari in going to Japan to help with the Kira case.

L snapped out of any thoughts he had when his lover moved up from where they laid, getting into a sitting position and resting their head against his arm gently. 

"Is something the matter?" He found himself asking, raising a brow as he glanced over at them. 

"Of course not, me wanting to be close to you isn't a bad thing" they would chuckle, moving a bit closer to the detective as he couldn't really argue with that. 

"I can tell there's a lot on your mind though, and I wish I could do more than just let you get lost in your work." His partner would frown as their gaze looked up at him a bit more. 

L would stare at them for a couple moments, it wasn't surprising that they'd take notice of his behavior after all. If it wasn't Watari catching on to how he might be feeling, it was his darling instead. 

"Well I'd rather get as much done with the Kira Case as possible… but if you had to decide on what I should do instead, what would it be?" He'd respond in his usual calm manner, wondering to see how they'd respond and it seems they knew right away.

"Easy, I'd want you to take a break." 

"You know that could be a bad ide-" he would start but you quickly cut him off.

"It's never a bad idea to take some time to take care of yourself and recharge, so when you go back to working you'll feel even better." They must have been thinking of this for a while with how fast they knew how to react to his statements. 

"I appreciate the thought Y/N, but-" He would begin, but they'd simply shake their head as they turned so they were sitting on their knees facing them. 

"I've already discussed this with Watari, and even he agreed a small break could be beneficial for you and the case. It won't be long, maybe a day at least or something.. like tomorrow for example." 

Of course Watari would go on their side, what a traitor, but honestly a small break didn't sound too awful. 

"Hm.. what would I even do on this break?" Inquired the messy haired man. 

"I was thinking that me and you could just spend some time together and do whatever we want that doesn't deal with the case…" his partner would begin to say, looking up at him with an almost longing sort of way. "It's been awhile since we've been able to do that sort of thing." 

"... That is true." L paused for a few moments, his work centered mind battling the other half that wanted to spend as much time as possible with the person he loved. "I have missed spending more time with you like that.."

Y/N would give him a soft smile as they scooted closer, moving his laptop slightly off to the side of his knees as they tested their hand on top of them instead.

"So is that a yes to the break for tomorrow?" They'd ask, leaning up a bit towards L who at this point had moved the laptop off of his lap completely and to the side of the bed so he could have his focus on them. 

"Mhm, it seems you know what's best for me after all" he'd say with a soft chuckle as his lips curled up into a soft smile. 

His lover's eyes would light up as their smile widened as they moved closer, putting L's knees down so they weren't too close to his chest. 

"I'd like to say so at least" they'd say in a playful and low tone as they moved as close as they could without being on his lap. 

Their face soon being inches away from his own to the point they felt each other's breaths mingle together. Soon enough the space between them disappeared as they couldn't hold back and kissed the dark haired detective. It was soft and warm before they found themselves deepening it, as if showing how much they both longed to just be together. L would bring a hand up to cup their cheek gently as they kissed for what he wished could last longer, but they pulled away after a couple of moments.

His partner's gaze remained on his face, chuckling softly as they leaned in and hugged him tightly. L would accept it as they ended up on his lap so he could hold them better. He rested a hand on their back as his other ran through their hair gently. 

"I can't wait for tomorrow" they'd say in an excited whisper, causing him to chuckle. 

"I can't wait either, I can already tell it's going to be more than worth it." L would say in an almost purr as he rested his eyes, them both snuggling together more, enjoying the closeness and warmth. 

"I love you." His partner would say softly, their chin resting on him and their voice sounding as if they were getting ready to drift away into a nice sleep in his arms. 

"I... you too..." He would reply a little hesitantly as he rubbed their back gently, listening to their heartbeat and steady breathing as their grip remained around him. The word love was something he had trouble with saying, as it was something he wasn't sure if he fully understood, but even if he couldn't say the word just yet, Y/N understood and seemed content nonetheless. 

They would continue to enjoy their silence together, it was peaceful and just felt perfect. A great way to end a day and get ready for the day they looked forward to together. L wasn't someone who looked forward to the days to come too much as he had his focus on work to the point where he'd lose track of time, but when it came to Y/N, he felt like he could truly experience normalcy for once. He had so much to look forward to, even if he wasn't really sure what that was yet. It felt like a fairytale he read once, where even through the rough times the two love interests would get through it together to have their happy ending. 

Unfortunately, this wasn't a fairytale. 

After what must have been around 5-10 minutes, when L had found himself beginning to drift off himself something changed. Something he could have predicted, but with the circumstances this was something he hoped would just never happen throughout the case, something he had tried to prevent with all of his safety precautions. It seemed as if he hadn't done enough though. 

The grip from his partner's would suddenly tighten as their heart rate would increase and their breathing hitched, making them let out a gasp. L jumped a little at their actions, his eyes shooting open as he turned his gaze towards them. 

"Y/N?? What's wrong?" He'd ask immediately, looking at them as their grip on them began to loosen more and more as their head slumped down as if they were on the verge of falling asleep still. 

L didn't know why at first but he felt dread creep up on him as his heartbeat began to race. Then he remembered people like Lind L Tailor who had a similar reaction, right before he.. no. No. His mind felt like it was beginning to buzz as he kept denying that possibility, repeating his partner's name as he raised their head to look at him. 

Their gaze wasn't anything like earlier. The light and all the warmth they had, how L could tell how they felt with a simple look, was gone. It seemed almost glazed over, distant, and any form of light was gone and dull as they stared up at him. 

Many questions went through the man's mind, how did Kira find out about them? How did they find out their name?? Did he know their connection to him?? What went wrong??? Yet his thoughts were torn from the questions as his dearest would groan softly in pain. They still could react which meant this wasn't some ordinary heart attack like Kira's last victims, perhaps there was a way to save them. 

"Y/N?? I know you can hear me, please say something-" L would begin but he knew that if Kira had gotten to them that his time was limited and that he had to act fast. He moved over to his phone, pressing a button that would contact Watari or any of the task force members. 

"Watari!" L began, his usual calm tone beginning to show some sort of panic as he spoke into the device, demanding that the older man or any of the members get in her to help. He didn't have much time to say a lot, just saying that you were hurt as needed medical attention as soon as possible. He didn't want to even bring up the name of the bastard that he knew was behind it, simply because a part of him didn't want to believe it even though it was obvious. 

After talking into the device he turned his full attention back onto the person that meant most to him who laid in his arms, their struggled breathing quickly becoming steady but more faint as the minutes passed. They stared up towards him with their lost gaze.

"Hold on, Y/N, help is coming.. Just hold on, It'll be okay." L began as he took their hand as all they could do was simply stare at him. 

As they stared and seemed to be struggling against what was happening, their breathing was becoming more faint as tears began to form at their eyes. It seemed that they were unable to speak, every time they opened their mouth to speak, a look of pain washed over them.

"Keep holding on, it'll be okay Y/N.. just keep holding on for me." He tried his best to keep his voice calm, yet as he looked down at them he felt his voice beginning to shake as if he was going to break. 

The fact they haven't died yet felt cruel to the man who held his lover, as if Kira was doing this on purpose somehow. As if they didn't deserve the mercy of having a quick and painless death in comparison to last criminals. This was a way for Kira to get back at L directly, and it was working unfortunately. 

L frowned, wiping their tears with one hand quickly before he checked their pulse. It was slowing down. No.. no, this can't be happening. This had to be some sort of cruel nightmare, something that wasn't unusual for him, but he knew that wasn't the case here. Watari soon arrived in the room with Soichiro and the other members, who looked like they wanted to help yet as Watari went over to L and Y/N, they had a feeling that there wasn't much they could do anyways.

As the pulse began to slow down and their breathing began to sound more forced as they struggled to speak and breathe normally, but under the influence of Kira it was impossible. There wasn't much time left, Watari knew this and so did L. They all knew that the fate of Y/N was in the hands of Kira and he had chosen to make their last moments something for the others involved to remember, as if it was a warning. 

L watched their expression as Watari tried to do what he could to keep her awake, which wasn't a whole lot unfortunately. His hand was still on their pulse as it slowed down even more. L couldn't stand this. He kept speaking to Y/N, no.. at this point it was more of a plea. Begging for them to keep going, yet as he saw how much they were suffering he wondered if it would be better if Kira could just end their suffering once and for all, which hurt him to even think about in the first place as he still was in denial about the situation. 

It couldn't end like this. He had promised to keep them safe, but he had failed them. Yet they had a peaceful look on their face as they smiled, as if they had accepted it. They began to open their mouth again, and even though they couldn't actually speak it was easy for L to see what they were mouthing. It was them saying that they loved him, and the more he thought about it, it seemed as if this was what they were trying to say this whole time. 

"I.. I love you too…" He found himself finally saying. The phrase he struggled saying fully and the one time he can actually say it was when they were being taken away from him. What type of cruel joke was this? 

His lover's eyes began to close, the smile on their face beginning to slowly fade. He held them close, fighting back any sort of emotion as he could hear their heart beginning to beat slower and slower.. until it finally stopped completely. 

"She's gone." Was all Watari said softly, mainly to the other members who had remained silent. 

The shock of the situation had made it hard for any of them to react, not sure what to say or do, especially when it came to L who went dead silent. It was as if they were all trying to figure out what to do next, but no one seemed to know the answer at that moment.

What happened afterwards was a blur for L as he held them close, all he remembered was Watari announcing it in the room and the rest of the world around him became fuzzy. The person who was teaching him how to love and loved him full heartedly, the one person who he had let in to see a side of L that no one else dared to bother with, was now gone. Kira had taken them away from him. 

He didn't know how it happened, yet he knew it had to be his fault. If he had been more careful, they would have most likely been fast asleep together to prepare for their break the next day. His chest ached as if he himself was having a heart attack of some sort, and a part of him would have preferred that then the pain that seemed to consume him. He kept his face down and buried into his partner's shoulder for who knows how long in the silent room. 

He wasn't sure what to do or say as the loss began to wash over the room. Matsuda looked as if he wanted to go over and comfort him, but even he knew that wasn't the best course of action. So the task force members kept their space, just remaining silent as Watari sat close. After a few moments the older man had waved towards the door, meaning it would be best for them to leave. So they did, leaving L alone with Watari. Soichiro would get in contact with someone to handle Y/N, but they'd all be respectful as L took this time to process everything. 

Watari rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, something L didn't react to at first before he looked up and glanced at Watari, tears had managed to fill his eyes. A sight that wasn't common to say the least. He looked at Watari, as if asking his caretaker what to do next but he gained no answer. Instead Watari just sat beside him with his hand on him gently, a small gesture yet it was something the detective needed. 

~~~

About an hour later, Y/N was taken away and L was left staring blankly out a window. The atmosphere was heavy as the task members haven't said too much to L yet, and when they did it was them apologizing for the loss and trying to show that they cared and were there for him. L didn't respond though, avoiding their gazes almost completely and stayed to himself for the most part. As he stood by himself by the window, Matsuda would find himself walking over finally.

"Ryuzaki…" he'd begin, making his presence known and to see if there was a response but not surprisingly there wasn't. 

"Is there anything we can do tonight?" He asked, frowning as he looked at his feet a little for a few seconds. "Whether it's something for the case or to help you feel better-"

"No." L had finally spoken, cutting off the other male who looked up a bit in surprise. 

"Huh? What do you mean no?" 

"There's nothing we can do at the moment for the case, and there's only one thing that could make me feel better about this situation."

"What is that?" Matsuda asked, yet even he had a feeling what the answer could be. So it didn't surprise him hearing it. 

"Simple. Catching Kira."

[malewifegradyruewen]

An Untitled Original Work, Part 9

significantly shorter sorry about that BUT! y'all are gonna both love and hate me-

previous | next | masterpost

trigger warnings: swearing, death mention, light violence mention, ask to tag

word count: 1353

tagging: @fire-sapphics @damischs @zoyyanazyalensky @love-pyramus @silver-war @pencilwritesshiz47 @tiergan-andrin-alenefar @mermistahawk @dirty-racoon @ttechnobladee @enbies-and-felonies @sophia-not-sofie @imaramennoodle @littlemisscupcake @cadence-talle @knifescythe @anaccidentwaitingtohappen @completekeefitztrash and lmk know if you wanna be added/removed!!

Sammie couldn’t believe what had just happened. Had she really just kissed Gina Weathers? How could she do that, when she didn’t know where her own heart lied? Didn’t know who had the key, and how to find them?

She hadn’t planned, it had just happened, and while she didn’t regret it, she wished it hadn’t happened. Her heart was confused, which made her stomach do flips and her head pound. It was unbearable, the way the mental confusion affected her physically, so that as her heart hurt, her body ached too.

Why, why, why had she done that? She liked Gina, sure, but she liked Logan too. And Gina’s adamant stance against Logan only added to Sammie’s confusion. What was up with that? Logan seemed genuinely nice, but so did Gina. What was the history? She needed to know before her stomach got any worse. She already felt like she might vomit.

hey just curious what’s up with you and Gina? we were talking and she acted super weird when i mentioned that you and i talk in english class

She sat down on her bed, looking up at the barren ceiling. If only she knew which box she’d packed her fairy lights and garlands in, she could start decorating her room. Then again, if her clothes were barely unpacked, what was the point in embellishing it?

She felt her phone vibrate in her lap, and she picked it up to see what Logan had said.

it’s complicated

how so? Sammie shot back.

it’s a lot. better if we call

okay you call me

Sammie’s phone rang a moment later, the caller id showing the picture she’d taken during English earlier that week. She accepted the call, and put the phone up to her ear. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey girl,” Logan said, her voice muffled through the phone. “Shut up, I’m on the phone!”

“Is your brother being annoying?”

“He’s never not. Okay, so you want the tea on me and Gina, right?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind telling me,” Sammie said, checking the time. 4:37, meaning her mom wouldn’t be home for a while. Sammie wouldn’t be interrupted if she started wandering the house as one does when they’re on the phone.

“Okay, so you know how middle school sucks? That’s when this happened. It was like, fall of seventh grade and I invited Gina over for a sleepover. We were like, best friends when we were little. My mom has some pictures of me and Gina when we were little, and they’re pretty cute. But anyways, seventh grade. She’s at my house and we’re talking about crushes, and I say I have a crush on Benji, and she gets all mad and says he’s hers.”

“Huh. Okay, keep going.”

“Yeah, so I drop it, and I assume she’s gonna let it go, but she gets pissed, like really pissed. So on Monday she starts spreading rumours that I wet the bed at our sleepover, and I’m gross and I bully her and force her to be my friend. So I just stop talking to her, plain and simple. Then she got all mad and now she hates me. Worked out fine for me, because Benji and I have been dating since right after eighth grade.”

Sammie didn’t know what to say. She’d meandered from her bedroom to the kitchen and was now sitting on the kitchen counter, unsure of what to say. Gina had done that? Were they talking about the same Gina?

“What?” she said. The confusion she’d hoped to abolish through this phone call had only grown.

“Weird, right? Bet she makes it out to be all my fault.”

“Actually,” Sammie said as she slid a bagel into the toaster, “she always avoids talking about it. It’s kinda weird, but I didn’t wanna ask anyone else in the group ‘cause that seemed… weird.”

“Well, it was just between me and her, but she dragged everyone else into it.” Sammie could hear the annoyance and hurt in Logan’s voice. She was trying to hide it, Sammie could tell, but she wasn’t doing a very good job.

“You guys used to be close, right?” Sammie asked, grabbing a jar of jam from the fridge.

“Yeah, we were besties all through elementary school, and all of sixth grade. That’s why this was so weird, because she’d never done anything like that before.”

“Really? That doesn’t seem like Gina at all.” The longer she and Logan talked, the more confused Sammie became. She finished spreading jam on her bagel and took a bite before adding, “She made it seem like you guys had only been classmates, never friends. Like, you were always in the same class but you never hung out.”

“Really.” It wasn’t a question, but Sammie could tell Logan wanted to ask something.

“It always felt weird though. She was avoiding the conversation,” Sammie continued. “I dunno. Felt like she was trying to hide something more.”

“Sounds just like her,” Logan replied, the disdain in her voice leaking through the phone. “Always was one to bury her secrets.”

“What’s that mean?” she asked as she took another bite of her bagel.

“She hasn’t told you? Her mom died right before we started highschool. It was a shock too, a car accident. So my family went to the funeral, because there was a huge turnout and more than half the school was there. And like, I get it, if my mom died I’d be distraught too, but when she saw me she tried to punch me, and I had to leave. It was kinda fucked up.”

Sammie stopped chewing. There were a thousand questions in her head, but she couldn’t put words to any of them. They rattled around in her brain for what felt like a year, but was truly only a few seconds. Finally, she was able to ask, “Why?”

“Dunno.” Sammie could hear Logan’s shrug through the phone. “She just saw me and got mad. On the one hand, she wasn’t thinking clearly, because who would be after their mom died, but on the other hand, it seemed uncalled for.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “But like, you didn’t provoke her? Say anything rude?”

“I’m hurt,” Logan said, sarcastically. “But no, I hadn’t even said ‘sorry for your loss’ before she looked at me and got pissed and tried to punch me. To be honest, I’m still not sure why.”

“That’s… weird.”

“Not who you thought she was, huh?” Logan seemed almost smug. “Makes you think twice. Don’t worry though, you can still hang out with her because I, unlike some people, don’t try to police who my friends hang out with. I might not like it, but I don’t try to dictate friendships.”

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” Sammie admitted after a moment.

“Look, dinner’s almost ready, so I gotta go in just a minute, but let me tell you one thing. There’s more to Gina Weathers than you thought. You can stay friends with her, because we’ve all made mistakes, and you shouldn’t get mad because of things she did to other people. Just…” Logan sighed. “Take everything she says about me with a grain of salt, okay?”

Sammie nodded before realising Logan couldn’t see her. “Yeah, I can do that. Thanks, Logan. Are we still on for next Saturday?”

“Yeah, and Ellison might stop over if you’re cool with that.”

“Not totally sure who that is, but yeah, I’m cool with that.”

“Awesome, see you tomorrow! Bye!” And with that, Logan hung up the phone.

Sammie sat in silence on the kitchen counter, the remaining third of her bagel getting cold. What more could she say, could she do? After kissing Gina and her conversation with Logan, she wasn’t sure how she could face Gina on Monday.

Even after moving five times and attending five different schools, Sammie could safely say she’d never been drawn into the drama so quickly. It had only been a week, but she could tell that her last two years of highschool would be the most noteworthy of all.

[tonio-dawson]

A crossroad

Antonio x Halstead!Reader

Word count: 1,783

Summary: AU where Antonio stays in the unit until season 7 (because I don’t like how he got written out :)). He found himself at a crossroad where he thinks he isn’t the right fit for the team anymore. Reader is Jay’s sister working as a Detective at another precinct.

Antonio walked up to your place, you could hear his footsteps even before his keys reached your apartment door. “It’s not lock-” you screamed from your kitchen but he already made his way inside. He took off his boots and his jacket, and made his way to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

You looked at him, he hadn’t said a word but he glanced at you finally recognizing your presence. “Sorry babe, thought you’re still at work,” he said while taking a swig leaning back to the fridge. His jaw clenched, his eyes were filled with fire, as if he’s ready for a fight.

“Woah, I’d say welcome home, but what happened? Rough day?” You turned to him, spatula on your hand. “Something like that,” he sighed.

“Wanna talk about it over this Arroz con Pollo once it’s ready?” You asked softly.

“I guess,” he gulped his beer this time.

“And maybe give your girlfriend a kiss before you go shower and change?” you walked toward him this time, pursing a smile.

His gazed softened as he reached his arms out to you and pulled you into a hug, “I’m sorry. It’s been really tough at the office today. And we’ve promised each other not to let work gets in between us.” he mumbled on your shoulder. You can feel that something is weighing on him.

“And you did not. Not yet anyway.” you pulled away and kissed his cheek, “Now go shower and we can have dinner,” he nodded and made his way to the bathroom.

Antonio was much calmer after his shower, much more after he filled his stomach with food, “This is soooo good, almost as good as mine.” he smiled. Usually you’d throw a napkin or anything within proximity at him but knowing he had a rough day you just chuckled, “If that’s your way to say ‘thank you my beautiful girlfriend, food is delicious’ I say you’re welcome,” you smiled.

“Of course I meant thank you, ‘almost as good’ is the highest of compliment,” said Antonio while finishing his plate. His expression changed to a tired face as he let out a sigh, “You don’t know how much I need this after today,”

“What happened? Ruzek picked a fight with you again?” You asked.

“Hmm.. yeah, he was on my list of problems today. But…” He trailed off and left his word hanging.

“But what? I’m sorry, it must have been a very hard day.” you looked deeply into him.

“Yeah, I don’t know if this is right… but I’m thinking to quit Intelligence.” he was hesitant at the beginning however his raspy voice was loud and clear when he mentioned about quitting.

You’re at loss for words, trying to control your expression. You didn’t even know whether to stop him from doing it or to support his thinking.

“I…are you, are you sure?” You stuttered.

Antonio sighed even longer this time, “That’s the thing, I’m not sure.” He grabbed another beer from the fridge and took a seat on the couch after clearing up the table.

You’re still sitting at the dining table, frozen, running different words to say to him.

“Babe?” He glanced at you.

You snapped back to reality and made your way to the couch, sitting next to him. “I’m sorry. I’m at loss for words. Don’t know what to say.” you said honestly, “I thought you love working at Intelligence,” you gazed softly at him.

“Yeah, I do. I like working the case. Our cases are always the toughest one, we put away the evil of evil and make the city safer. That’s what I love about being part of the team.” Antonio explained, you sensed a but coming.

“But…you know how Voight and the unit works. It’s not always conventional,” he continued.

“Yes, but you already know that.” you replied and he nodded at your sentence, “Most of the time it worked to our benefit. But lately, every one is trying to be like Voight, you know? Using any means necessary to solve a case. Maybe, except your brother. But Jay’s also has his way of letting things happen. And I can’t. I can’t do it. Not anymore.” he shook his head.

Antonio went on explaining how the last few years went down for him and the team. How they dealt with Al’s murderer - how Ruzek blamed him over not standing up for Voight though it wasn’t the case, how Voight handled Lopez, how Burgess let Q brought a gun to a sting and ended up killing the target, how Upton took care of Vanessa’s mess by planting evidence, the list goes on. And Antonio always got caught in the middle not wanting to condone their actions though not condemning either. But because of that, he was seen as the enemy of the team.

Beyond from short stories that Jay and Antonio shared with you, you didn’t actually know about how the Intelligence team works. As Jay’s sister and Antonio’s girlfriend you have good relationships with the team outside of work. You’ve known them to be good people and solid cops. But getting all of this new information, you can only feel for your boyfriend. You know that Antonio is the boy scout cop who does everything by the book. So these questionable methods that the team uses really challenge his ethics.

“I don’t care how Voight runs his shop. He brought me in to the team knowing already how I handle cases, and we always know how to work with each other despite our differences. But the rest of the team? I’m not sure anymore. These young folks think that Voight’s way is the only way forward. That doesn’t sit right by me.” he complained.

After Jules death, Lindsay’s departure, and Al’s gone, you suspected that Antonio’s feelings towards the team has changed. Team dynamic and roles have shifted and you’re not sure where Antonio sees himself within the team, and how the team positions Antonio. 

Your suspicion only grew stronger after he told you what happened today.

A patrol officer got killed under Intelligence assignment to do a search at a suspected drug dealer’s home. But it was the wrong house, the officer came in hot and drew his gun already when coming inside. Much to everyone’s surprise, they only found a couple who are eating their lunch. Things got real bad, real quick when the husband - an ex-marine - panicked seeing a gun pointed at his direction and pulled his gun from under the table. In a matter of seconds, multiple shots were fired. The first officer died at the scene, the ex-marine is clinging to life at Med, the wife and the officer’s partner got several GSWs albeit not lethal.

The problem? They didn’t have a search warrant. It was an intel from a CI, a real bad one. Ruzek rushed it because a suspected drug dealer has been threatening Michele Sovana, Al’s only remaining daughter. With Ruzek now being questioned by Internal Affairs, the team turned to Antonio to pull in favor from ASA Peter Stone to issue a back dated search warrant to get Ruzek out of trouble.

“I think Jay’s against this. A fellow soldier got shot over a bad police misconduct? But he didn’t say a word.” Antonio’s eyes were filled with concerns, “The thing is, not only the warrant didn’t come through, but an officer shouldn’t draw their gun to a civilian unless necessary.” he sighed and remembered his almost altercation with Ruzek earlier today.

“They thought they’re walking to a lion’s den for fuck’s sake!” Ruzek yelled at him, “Well they weren’t, were they? Now you got two civilians injured; one of them served to protect the country!” Antonio yelled back.

“You always do this, man. A brother is killed and you’re worried about some political correctness? He worked patrol for 10 years, sacrificed HIS LIFE and one simple mistake you wanted to strip from his honor?”

“YES! Because that’s what we do! We sacrifice our lives as cops! Not only him. And because we’re the police we should be held to a standard. All the fucking time. You think you can knock on someone’s door and starts shooting?!” Antonio was boiling, in fact he was so close to hit Ruzek, but Voight broke them off and told people to go home and pick it up tomorrow.

“So, what are you going to do?” you asked.

“I figured I’d do what they say one last time and maybe…hand in my transfer letter the next day.” He replied.

“Wanna transfer to my unit?” you asked cheekily.

He laughed, “Only if I got to boss you around,” as he snuggled to you.

“Not gonna happen!” you threw a light punch.

“I honestly don’t know, you think transferring out is a bad move?” he asked.

“Well, I think working for Voight in the first place was a bad move. Same thing I said to Jay,” you scoffed, “But who knew you guys could go this far and rose to be a unit with the highest solving rate in the department. Whether or not you enjoy it, that’s for you to say.” you smiled this time.

“Hmm…” he hugged you closer and placed his head on top of yours.

“But whatever you decide, I’m behind you. One thing I know is that you’re a damn good cop don’t matter in which unit you work at,” you continued with a proud girlfriend tone.

“Thanks for always having my back. I love you,” He cupped your face and kissed you long and deep, “I love you too,” you replied as you pulled away. He leaned in closer for another kiss, more heated this time. His touch was more intense and you let out a soft moan. His hands traveled inside your shirt as he nipped at your neck. You both were all cozy until his phone rang. You both stopped and looked at the caller ID, “Your brother’s timing is impeccable. You sure he didn’t put a nanny cam around here?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Ugh. You have to answer him?” you asked.

“Actually I do. So tomorrow I don’t have to explain myself why I missed his calls. I’ll be quick,” Antonio replied and got up to answer the phone. He stepped outside to your balcony while you turn on the TV.

After three minutes or so, he stepped back in with a much brighter face. “Why are you so happy?” you asked. Whatever it was that Jay said on the phone has put Antonio at ease.

“I know I’m sure about one thing. That I always can count on a Halstead.” he smiled, pulled you in and continued where he left off.

[inkykeiji]

hi lovey! i hope your visit to the asylum was fun for u!! and i hope ur dabi had fun hehehe c: my job was good but soo exhausting and i just some attention from our favorite burnt toast yk??? my friend surprised me with (another) dabi t shirt and ashdndlfnrnekd i have so much of him now lol it’s an issue :,)

id love to hear about the visit though if u wanna share! obvi no pressure :)) have a good rest of ur afternoon/evening lovely ❤️

hello!!!! oh my gosh anon i'm so glad we got to see it!!! i'll go into more detail about my experience there yesterday but if you'd like to see some photos i took + a few links to photos inside and asylum history you can check out this post! <3

awww i know exactly what you mean sweetpea :(( i'm glad ur first day went well tho and it's always nice to receive a gift like that!! <333

about visiting the asylum yesterday:

honestly the vibe around it was absolutely inexplicable, i can’t even find the words to begin describing it to you. it definitely felt VERY off. it almost felt surreal, being there!!! we didn’t even attempt to get in, for a few different reasons: 1. we heard it’s absolutely full of asbestos, mold, and peeling lead paint and we didn’t have proper masks; 2. the fucking vibes were off the chart i’m telling you; and 3. it is apparently very structurally unsafe. there was so much snow we didn’t even look around for the underground tunnels, either. i’m super happy we went though!!! i know this building’s on it’s last legs and the city still doesn’t seem to know what they’re doing with it, so i wanted to see it before it’s totally gone forever!!! i'm hoping to visit it again in the summer when it's a little easier to uhhhhh poke around hehehe

thankfully, we were alone almost the entire time we were there and took our time walking around the grounds and just admiring the building. it was so quiet and almost eerily peaceful with all of the snow falling, and i think that definitely added to the feeling we both got from it. right as we were starting to leave this super sketchy dude came out of literally NOWHERE, wearing just a hoodie and a light jacket that was falling half off of him, and a full face mask. he started walking quicker when he saw us, and his movements were very erratic and jerky. he kept looking back at us like we were suspicious lmao but we had to walk the same way as him to get back to the car, and i think for a moment he was worried we were following him. anyway he disappeared into one of the alcoves at the back, then appeared again to look at us, and then went back into the alcove. dunno what he was doing but he looked fairly young so our guess is graffiti and/or drugs. it’s interesting tho because the alcove he disappeared into was the one with this hidden door that had a few different boards of plywood slapped over it AND a grate (which had been cut open). it grabbed my attention because the plywood boards were like half ripped off and there were day old footprints leading to that door, and then it almost looked like someone had been kneeling in the snow at the bottom????? very odd, but i’m assuming if he knew a way in, that was it.

it’s really sad to see such a beautiful victorian building covered in graffiti and vandalism at the back, and it’s really sad to see a piece of (very dark) history left to rot and crumble :/ i know one of the historic organizations in the city has been trying for years to save it and restore it, but the government won’t even let them inside, not even to look and see if anything can be salvaged at all. tbh that strikes me as kind of odd as well, but i'm going to take a wild guess and say the government doesn’t exactly want to preserve a building with such a horrifying past of abuse, death, and inhumane treatment methods :/ however, i heartily agree with those calling for it to be made into a museum about mental illness + mental health treatment and just how far our society has come in terms of that, especially as someone who has had multiple family members admitted to insane asylums and subject to their treatment methods, and as someone who suffers from mental illness myself. i don’t think this is history that should be covered up or forgotten about—we deserve to have our stories told and acknowledged. additionally, i don’t think using an old asylum that used to house the criminally insane for anything else (ie converted into student housing) is necessarily appealing to anyone.

[evesbeve]

Hey there, you said your ask box was open for Justin Min's whole thing? I guess I just slept through the whole thing, honestly - could you just go over a gist of everything that happened? I get that it seems like a PR team didn't know how to use twitter (which, mood) and f-ed things up for him, but what were they "cleaning up" in the first place, who's Anna what did they do that warranted such a bizarre thread from the PR team, etc...? 😳

Hey! Okay so this is going to be a lot, so buckle up.

Right off the bat, I just want to say that Justin isn’t cancelled. The situation has been mostly resolved right now (more on that later).

So around a week ago, Justin Min started deleting his replies to fans. Depending on whether you’re on Twitter or not, you might know that Justin is one of the most interactive people of the cast. He knows a lot of fans by name, he has inside jokes with us, and he just interacts a lot with his fanbase. So you can imagine why him suddenly starting to delete his replies was a bit upsetting. There was nothing we could do about it though.

And suddenly, two days ago, Justin deactivated his account out of nowhere, which caused all kinds of drama to go down.

People started pointing the finger at specific accounts saying it was their fault that Justin deactivated (don’t even get me started on that logic; why a grown-ass adult deactivate because of a few teenagers is above me, it literally made no sense), even sending death threats. Others suspected that he got suspended because Twitter’s algorithm saw all these tweets get deleted and was like “welp, bot time.” Long story short, lots of misinformation was going around.

And then out of the blue, Justin’s account was reactivated, and he made a thread directed at Anna.

Now, who is Anna? Anna is a stan on twitter, whose @ I won’t be sharing for privacy, but here’s how they’re relevant in this:

Remember when I mentioned the inside jokes? Well, one of them was between a fan called Matt and Justin. Matt kept commenting on Justin’s tweets asking him to say trans rights. On the one year anniversary of Matt asking Justin to say trans rights, Justin finally said it. Then, Matt made a poll asking other stans what he should have Justin say next, and lesbian rights won.

Around a month ago, Matt replied to one of Justin’s tweets, and Justin responded with something along the lines of “haha, i know this is just an attempt to get me to say lesbian rights,” referencing the inside joke. People started commenting that the way he phrased it was a bit :/ so then he replied to his own tweet with something like “well, i’ll delete this before i get cancelled,” and that’s when things spiraled.

[id: Justin Min’s tweet #1: i see that you are trying to butter me up to say lesbian rights, nice try, matt. nice try.

Justin Min’s tweet #2: oh, here we go. this is an inside joke between myself and matt, if you’ve been a part o fthis fandom for more than a few weeks. but alas, i will have to delete this now before i’m cancelled by the end of the day. keep loving, everyone.]

Lesbians get spoken over and looked down upon not only by straight people, but also the LGBT community. So when Justin tweeted that, lesbians were like “this sounds as if you care more about your own self image rather than our community.” Then, non-lesbians got involved and started either a) calling Justin lesbophobic (which lesbians never did) or b) blindly defending Justin and saying he did nothing wrong.

(Side note: I am not a lesbian, and I’m not trying to speak over lesbians in this situation. But I did talk about this to some of my friends who are lesbians, and they told me that what Justin did wasn’t as big of a deal as Twitter made it out to be. These are their words, not mine. All I know is that it was definitely not bad-intentioned, just a huge misunderstanding.)

Anyway, Anna made a thread explaining to Justin why him defending himself came out as harmful towards the lesbian community, and then Justin apologised and that was it.

Which brings us back to yesterday (26/9/2020).

Everyone is freaking out, posting misinformation, panicking. I don’t exactly,,, know how, but the #justinminisoverparty hashtag started being used for actual hate towards Justin for deactivating, and some people (including Anna, though I think their tweet was in the context of a joke? please take this with a grain of salt though. update: it was in the context of a joke) mentioned that Justin is a lesbophobe.

A few hours later, Justin reactivated his account, tagged Anna, and said this (though it was actually his PR team, more on that later):

[id: Justin’s Tweet: @ [redacted] quickly jumping back on here from my twt break because i’m receiving messages that you’re continuing to spread misinformation, so i want to clarify.]

[id: Justin’s Tweets: 1. all of my interactions with you were deleted because of the need to set clear boundaries due to the fact that your incessant messages and replies from multiple accounts over the last several months were veering into stalking/harassment.

2. for someone who appears to pride themselves on reminding their friends/followers on a daily basis to be careful of the language they use on this app, you seem to be fine with flippantly labeling someone as homophobic/lesbophobic as if they’re cute little adjectives to give to someone, not realizing that such labels have real-life consequences.]

[id: Justin’s Tweets: 3. also noting here than in your original thread, you stated that you neither considered me nor my words to actually be lesbophobic, so a bit confused as to why your story has suddenly changed.

4. i realize you’re young, so i’m genuinely hoping you use this opportunity to learn and grow andbe a little more mindful the next time you decide to tweet.]

The next twenty minutes were pure chaos. Justin deactivated again, everyone started freaking out because that was very out of character for him. People were cancelling him because this could have easily been resolved in DMs, or tweeted without the mention of Anna (a minor) from a mainstream Twitter account.

And then, Justin Min DMed another fan on Instagram (her name is Em) about the situation.

Who is Em? For starters, I’d like to say that I personally know Em and that she’s one of my best friends. I’ve known her for more than a year now, and I can personally vouch for her. Everything that she posted is 100% true (if you want the thread where she posts proof of the DMs, please send me a different ask because I’m scared tumblr will not post this in the tag if I include it here).

The reason Justin DMed her out of all people is because he also kinda knows her? As I mentioned, Justin interacts with us on Twitter a lot, and Em is the one person he’s responded to the most, so he knows who she is. (He’s tagged her more times than other cast members, at least before all his tweets were deleted by his PR team.)

Anyway, this is what Em tweeted:

[id: Em’s tweets: please read this !!!

justin dmed me on instagram and basically the gist of it is that he hired a pr team and they tweeted the thread at anna without knowing everyone could see it. all of the tweets being deleted/ him deactivating was also them.]

Below is the image Em attached to the tweet:

[id: Justin’s DM to Em: hey. this is justin. i’m just hearing about what’s happening on twitter right now. for context, i was asked to work with a team of people to “clean up” my twitter in the past few weeks. they’ve taken the liberty of deleting a bunch of my responses and posts in order to safeguard me (whatever that means) as well as deactivating my account to comb through other things.i believe they accidentally sent anna a message and mistakenly believed the function for her to comment only would mean that she would be the only one to see it as well. needless to say, i’m no longer working with this team and want to personally apologize to her. do you know any way i can get into contact with her?]

And then, in a follow-up tweet:

[id: Em’s text at Justin: sorry for dming you again. is there any other way i can help? i just feel really bad about this whole thing and i know how quickly this stuff can spread if it’s not taken care of

Justin’s text: i mean, i guess you can share the information i’ve given you? it’ll take a bit of time for me to take back ownership on everything as i sever ties with that team, so maybe the sooner the better people know.

Em’s text: okay ! is it okay if i tweet a screenshot

Justin’s text: sure.]

Then Justin’s account got reactivated an hour ago (almost 24hs after Em’s tweets), and he tweeted this:

[id: Justin’s tweet: hi. it’s me. thank you for all your messages. this has been an incredibly tough week for me on multiple fronts. some things you might already be aware of; many other things you don’t know about.asking for a bit of privacy as i take sometime to unplug. hoping to be back soon.]

And that’s all, I think? There’s lots we don’t know about what happened yet, so please please please try not to spread misinformation. This is a stressful situation for us on Twitter, and especially for Justin, and misinformation going around is the last thing we need right now.

tl;dr: Justin Min hired a PR Team that started deleting all of his tweets and deactivated his account. Misinformation started spreading, people started cancelling Justin for no reason. The PR Team decided to respond to Anna, made the response public, deactivated again. Justin DMed Em and explained the situation, and an hour ago, he reactivated and said he’s taking a small break to sort things out.

If anyone has any other questions/clarifications, my askbox is open! Hope this shed some light on the situation <3

UPDATE 28/9/2020: Justin has DMed and apologised to Anna for the situation, and Anna has accepted the apology. Anna posted all of it on their account, but again, if you want a link, send me an ask!

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’ 

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies 

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common) 

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever 

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth 

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED 

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber 

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk 

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

 “To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same 

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject? 

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′ 

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up 

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract 

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see 

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple 

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em 

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn: 

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show 

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs 

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it 

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes 

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride 

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend 

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth 

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one 

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will 

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands 

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light 

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips 

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰” 

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone 

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That 

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables 

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them 

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao 

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness  

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami 

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something 

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst 

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK 

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it 

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling 

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t 

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape 

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings 

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you 

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’) 

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be 

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid 

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

[scandeniall]

we’re us

pairing: atsumu x f!reader

summary/warnings: after atsumu almost lost you he decides ts time to make things official. But he’s overly sweet and its weird. Thats not who you two are / mentions of near death, implied sex, hes grossly sweet for part of it, mentions of bad parents

a/n: this is a PART 2 to the rulers. a few of you asked and i decided to give us a happier ending than what we wre left with in rulers. (rulers is 12k words and gives the context to this so kinda impt!)

wc: 2k

“Would you fucking stop,” you scowl swatting at the hands on your waist as you stumbled into the office. You roll your eyes at the way your desk chair is pulled out for you. “No can do. You’re supposed to be taking it easy.” Atsumu replies ignoring the frown at him sitting in the desktop. His hand subconsciously takes yours stroking at the skin and you resist the urge to take your hand from him. He needed it. 

It’d been three months since the incident and since you’d gone into a coma. You stayed in it for a little over a week. Atsumu remembered how he numbly took in the doctors diagnosis. Something about a complication from the surgery or maybe it was blood loss from the bullet wounds? Something about a seizure thus prompting your state. All the medical terminology confused him. 

After he finally decided to visit three days later he came as often as he could. He assigned people like Oikawa to do press releases on his behalf. It was already hard enough having to hear events recounted over the news. He couldn’t be the one to talk about it. 

“President of Yokohama (Y/L/N), (Y/F/N) caught in apparent shootout with parents among others. The 23 year old was rushed to the hospital by non other that Vice President Miya Atsumu. As of now it is known that (Y/N) has fallen into a combs and that Miya will be taking over. The voting families are likely to vote over a course of action within the upcoming days.”

One thing Atsumu made sure to do was to get your recording. You risked your life to get a confession out of your parents. A confession that they had plans to kill you. He sent the recording off and following their own minor recoveries they were promptly arrested. Trials took long and there’d be no way an official one would happen until you were ready, but nonetheless he was happy that both them and Terushima were out of your hairs. 

The day you woke up Atsumu actually shed tears. It was something he denied and claimed that the hospital fumes were finally getting to him when Osamu teased him. But everyone knew better. He’d take your condition worse, a factor that even your little sister teased him on. “(Y/N’s) strong and a bad ass. She’ll be fine. Stop acting like a wimp” he couldn’t even scold the 14 year old for the word choice. 

Even though the first face you made was a grimace, followed by confusion and agitation he couldn’t help but think you were beautiful. He stayed in the room as they took the feeding tube out, gagging himself at how gross it all seemed. He held your hand as you took sips of water all disoriented. 

A few days after that you were able to go back home and he took you to his. Your sister had been staying there and there was no way he’d let you go back to neither your parents or your own now trashed house alone. He’d wheeled you out of the hospital demanding you to keep your head down at the flashing lights and journalists. He’d buckled you in like a child despite you rolling your eyes and complaining and driven you to his. 

He made sure you took all your medications and attended your personal physical therapy sessions. A month in when you wanted to go back to work fully he refused, citing that until you were fine he was the one in charge. He could and would disobey your orders to keep you safe. “I swear once I’m fine I’m going to fucking fire you.” “How do you fire the family head sweetheart? Try again.”

Now two months later you were heading back into your office for the first time. With non other than your shadow practically attached to your hip. You watched as he animatedly recounted some events from his latest press conference and boring financial meetings as his thumb subconsciously rubbed circles into onto the back of your hand. Your hand was slightly sweaty but you resisted the urge to pull away. Ever since you’d found out that you technically died, Atsumu had been more touchy than normal. 

“Hey Tsumu?”

The call of his name stopped him mid sentence as his eyes peered at yours with concern. He started questioning if you were ok or in pain and if it here time for your meds.

“Thank you. For everything. Stepping up, I know this isn’t easy for you, especially since it was so sudden. And for watching after my sister and me.”

“Well it is my job as VP. Ya know when ya can’t do your job. It’s annoying but-“ he chucked as you stood up and told him to shut up. His hands found your waist both as a way to stabilize you and to resume physical contact as you eased in between his legs. “You talk too fucking much,” you mumble arms locking around his neck. 

“I was trying to be serious and thank you and here you are making me regret it.” You don’t miss the way his eyes glance at your lips as you talk. You continue playing with the ends of his hair as you talk. “I appreciate it a lot. Even if you are overbearing and annoying.”

“Yeah well, we’re us. And you know I’d take a bullet for ya”

“Too bad you didn’t take this one,” you muse using one hand to motion at your healing side. You smiled as his hands slipped under your sweatshirt to caress the scar. 

“I wouldve.” He says the words without missing a beat while you frown. “Being sweet doesn’t suit you. Where’s asshole Atsumu.”

“I almost lost ya. I was the one who held ya in the backseat as you bled out. I had to get rid of the car. Couldn’t get the smell, stains or memories out. I was there when you flat lined (Y/N). Sorry if I cant act normal like the shit didn’t happen.”

“All the more reason to act like the man I fell in love with,” you shrug. “The non punctual asshole who doesn’t listen to half the shit i say. The smartass who cares for his friends and family more than he lets on. The one so committed to what he does that id never trust anyone else even a fraction as much. Life is short. Clearly,” you snort referencing your own situation. 

“No point in being different. What’s done is done. Besides, we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. With the trial and reformations and-“

“Ya just said you loved me.” Your face scrunched up at his smug one. His voice had a happy lilt to it. “If you didn’t know that by now you really are dumber than I thought. Pretty sure it’s been obvious.”

His reaction was to hop off the desk, this time his arms coming around you in a hug.  “God, I’m so in love with ya.” The words came whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help but melt into the hug. “Good or this would’ve been really awkward.”

“Wait a fuckin’ second-“ you eyed him in confusion as the embrace ended you stepping back to cross your arms. “I said i was gonna confess first. Ya just had to mess things up. Take it back. I bet Samu that i would” You looked at him in disbelief. “On second thought-“

Your words are cut off by his hands pulling your hips into his. “Will you be my girlfriend. Let’s make it official.”

“What did i tell you about being sweet,” you scold the both of you leaning in your lips hoovering over each other. “Give me a few more weeks to worry about ya alright?” You nod hands locking around his neck. “Deal. And yes I’ll let you be my boyfriend.”

“Gonna ignore that for now,” before you could react he turns the two of you so that your back was against the desk. His lips ghosting the shell of your ear as he tells you to sit. Before he steps back eying you. “Can’t believe I almost lost this.” 

The words are whispers to himself and you almost didn’t hear him as his hands trail up your thighs. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I’m literally in sweats. A far cry from how you usually see me” you tease leaning back to shift your weight into your palms. “Still the most beautiful woman in the world.” You ignore the warmth that blossoms within you opting to grab at his wrist. “I thought I said to stop being sweet.”

You thought you hear him say something about your deal it it’s quickly forgotten as he slots himself between your legs and roughly presses his lips against yours. 

—-

A few months later

“Well it’s done. How d’ya feel.” Atsumu is the first to speak out his words filling the space within the car. “Like shit. But I’ll live.” You mutter honestly. “Ya want to take a few days off from the office?” His hand rubs comfortably up and down your thigh. 

“And have you try and mess up my office. I’ll pass,” you sigh out, head coming to rest upon the headrest. “Sorry my taste is better than yours.” You flick your middle finger at him before closing your eyes. “Yeah well redecorate your own damn office. Oh wait- it’s not as nice as mine”

His laugh fills the car and you smile as his lips press against the back of your hand. The two of you sit in silence, the forming clouds outside seeming to match the conflict in your heart. “It’s just weird you know.” He nods in support. 

“I know they tried to like kill me but— they were still my parents. They taught me everything I know.” A silence fills the car, Atsumu not really knowing what to say. “I hate that you’re so quiet these days.”

“I’ve lost at least 7 years of my life having to worry about ya through all this s-OW!” You roll your eyes as he rubs the arm you’ve just hit. He complained about you having a good arm before telling you to look at him. 

“You’ll be fine. Ya got me and-“

“Is that supposed to be comforting?” 

Shaking his head he continues,” and your sister and Granny. Our friends, and the whole city behind ya babe.”

You found yourself slowly nodding. You’re right,” you mutter more to yourself before leaning over the console to press a kiss on his cheek. Atsumu gives you a look before complaining. “That’s all I get. What a shitty thanks.”

You notice he slightly reclines his seat a smirk now on his face. “You’re definitely back to being annoying,” you scoff. “If you think I’m gonna ride you ride now you’ve lost it.”

“I’m just getting comfortable. What’s so bad about that. But what’s 1 kiss.” You ignore the way his hand creeps higher as you lean over the console. “It’s not even gonna be that if you don’t meet me halfway.” His eyes soften for a minute as he complied allowing your lips to connect. “Ya know what always makes me me feel better,” he mumbles lips against yours. 

The hand that had been on your thought moved to cup your jaw. “If you say sex I’m gonna walk home,” you breathe out as he presses fluttering kisses along the side of your neck. He only laughs. “That and spending money. Let’s go out.”

You ignore the shiver that runs down your spine as his touch gets harsher and you can feel the beginnings of a pain in the ass bruise at the junction between your neck and shoulder. “Only if you’re buying.” That causes him to stop, his eyes catching yours. “Aw c’mon ya have more money than me.”

“It’s official. I hate you,” you deadpan pulling away to sit in your seat. “I’m just joking. Lighten up woulda,” he teases the two of you fastening your seatbelt. “Just drive already.”

“Hey, (Y/N). I love you”

“I love you too. Now I think I deserve a treat right?

a/n: well one day i may add on to this universe but for now my longest piece of work is complete. Are there things id do differently? absolutely but for a total of 14k words between the two pieces? IM PROUD. thank u if u read it ily. Untl the next celebration yall

[barryjeanblues]

taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen. 

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss. 

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand. 

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding. 

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault. 

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more. 

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself. 

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone. 

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with. 

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach. 

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset. 

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain. 

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall. 

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge. 

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover. 

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days. 

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance. 

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it. 

so. yes. 

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death. 

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many. 

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love. 

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you. 

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less. 

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute. 

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling. 

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling. 

[kieraswriting]

Coffin Chapter Twenty-Nine

Masterpost

Logan was very surprised to hear Virgil’s voice when he picked up the phone.

“Hi, Logan.”

“Virgil. Good morning. I trust everything is going well with you?”

“Mmhmm. Um… I had an idea, and I talked with Patton and Roman, and they said I should talk with you about it.”

“Yes?”

“What if… um, if I made some social media accounts? Told my story. I… sort of told someone, and they said that they hadn’t heard of things from a vampire’s side before. I was just hoping… maybe it could help, if people knew.”

Logan considered, taking a long breath. “Alright. Putting aside the dangers from already telling someone, we would have to get you a new phone, a vpn, and a fake email address and ID, to begin with. I believe that this idea has merit, but we wouldn’t be able to begin immediately.”

There was a pause. “Really?”

There was a lot of emotion in that voice, not something easily unpacked by Logan ever, much less over a phone. “Yes. I think your idea is a very good one.”

“Thanks.” Virgil’s voice was still choked with emotion, and Logan hoped that it wasn’t a bad thing.

“Why don’t you send me the details of what you’ve said already and where you’ve said it. I’ll try to be sure it’s as untraceable as possible, and I’ll help you set up for the other as soon as possible.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll send it to you. Thanks, Logan.”

“You’re very welcome, Virgil.”

As illogical as it was, Logan felt like he could almost hear a smile before Virgil hung up.

“What happened?” Emile asked.

Logan was relieved that Emile asked, especially in so light a tone. He’d seemed pretty upset earlier, and Logan knew that a lot of it was his fault, a point which was driven home by the glares Remy kept sending him.

“Virgil wants to try making social media accounts to spread information from the vampire side of things.”

“Oh.” Emile nodded slowly. “Ohhhh, that could be a really good idea! Getting our side of things out to the public could change a lot!”

“Our?” Logan said.

“Yeah! As people trying to help vampires. If you watch TV, you’d never guess that anyone ever did it.”

Logan considered, and didn’t have to think long at all to realize that he’d never seen any stories about resistance to the sweep by humans, other than vague ‘infringing on freedoms and privacy’.”

“Can I help?” Emile asked.

“Ah, yes, of course. I’m sure that something like this would work best with more help.”

Emile pulled out his phone. “Virgil’s using Roman’s phone, right?”

“Yes, but you can’t post anything yet, not when it could be tracked.”

“I know, I’m just gonna talk with Virgil for a bit.”

•^*^••

Whoever has the phone, can you pass it to Virgil? -Emile :)

Virgil blinked at the text. He hadn’t expected this so soon after talking with Logan.

Hi, Emile. This is Virgil. He wrote, and then erased the last bit, replacing it with -Virgil to match Emile’s.

Hi, Virgil! How’s it going? Logan told me you idea, and I really like it!

*your

Thanks. Virgil wrote, and then his mind blanked. How was he ever supposed to answer questions online if he couldn’t even hold a half decent conversation with Emile?

So I was thinking, and you don’t have to go with this if you had an idea, but what if you chat with me for a bit and I can ask questions, and then we can write up a ‘big story’ type of thing that we can post later?

Yeah, I like that. I wrote down a lot of it, but if you want to ask questions, that would be fine.

You know, I think you’re really brave for doing this. Opening yourself up like this to help people.

Virgil didn’t know what to say to that. He felt both flattered and dumbfounded. Thankfully, Emile was texting again.

As far as questions, should we split them up by anything? Like pre-vampire/post-vampire? Or general vampire questions versus Virgil only questions?

I don’t know. I’m not like most vampires, so I might give the wrong answers for the general questions.

I’m sure all vampires are a bit different. Remy’s with me, and I can talk with him, but he’s going to have different answers too, since he was born a vampire. Also, he says ‘Hiya, babes.’

Ok. We can try questions. Thanks for helping. (Should I say hi back to Remy?)

You’re welcome! :) And yeah, if you want to, I’ll tell him whatever you say!

Then Hi, Remy. After a moment of thought, Virgil changed the period to an explanation point before sending the text.

He says drink some coffee in honor of him. (But please don’t unless you really wanted to, he’s mostly joking) Anyway, first question! What name do you want to go by?

Virgil hadn’t considered alternate names for a while. Probably V would be unsafe to use, or any other derivative of his name.

What about Anxiety?

Anything that makes you comfortable is fine. :)

Ok. Thanks.

You’re welcome! ;) So, first question, how is a vampire made?

A human on the brink of death can be turned, and… there’s something special about it, but I don’t know exactly what. Virgil thought for a minute. Maybe ask Remy?

There was a bit of a gap before Emile texted back.

Remy says that it’s instinctual, at least for him. That it feels similar to making a thrall at first, but then it changes as they become a vampire.

Ahh. Should I write that down?

Logan’s been keeping notes, but thanks for offering! :) So next question, how and when were you turned?

Virgil had to pause. He’d already told this story before, but it didn’t seem to make it any easier now. Especially when it seemed that Emile was reading the texts out loud, and both Logan and Remy would hear. But this was the way to help people, and he would probably get asked this question a lot.

It was about two years ago, my dad, who was a vampire, drank too much blood and then left me. I thought I was going to die, but then a different vampire I knew turned me and kept me with her.

Virgil, I’m very sorry that happened to you.

Virgil wished he could remember how to make the shrug emoji. He didn’t really know what to say. It certainly wasn’t pleasant to think about, but it was done now. He’d probably never see his dad again, so it wasn’t like it really mattered.

Thanks. What’s the next question?

There was a bit of a pause before Emile texted back. Remy says let him know if you want him to, and he’ll go after your dad.

That actually made Virgil crack a smile. He didn’t want Remy trying to find his dad, but it was surprisingly nice to have that offer.

“Hey, Virge, done with the phone yet?” Roman asked, peeking in through the door.

“Oh. Um… kind of, I mean, I finished the call but,” Virgil stammered. He really should’ve asked before just starting a whole new conversation.

“Nah, it’s fine. What’re you up to now?”

“Emile’s texting me.”

Roman grinned. “Tell him hi from me then, yeah?” Without even waiting for an answer he waved and left.

Virgil glanced back down at the phone.

Second question: How much do vampires need to eat, and how often?

Well, a quart once a month would probably be fine, but most vampires I’ve known preferred to have smaller meals more frequently, and a really big meal every few months. Also Roman says hi.

Hi, Roman! And that’s interesting. Remy says he likes more than that, but that might be because he’s a born vampire. It would be interesting to have this conversation with Dee also.

Maybe Dee would want to help?

He might! I’ll call him in a bit and see if he’s interested.

He might not though. I don’t think he likes talking about his past.

And if he doesn’t, that’s fine. I’ll just ask. Ok! Question three: Do vampires actually go into blood-frenzies?

It depends I think. Some vampires are half-crazy from the time they get turned, and I think they would. I never did. Though, if I haven’t eaten for a really long time, it gets hard to have humans near me. What about Remy?

•^*^••

Logan was increasingly intrigued with the answers, especially getting the information from two such different sources, and in such a way that he believed it all to be true and grounded in experience.

“Ehh, I don’t know about frenzy,” Remy drawled. “And it’s different too, cause if you get too full it’s almost like a high, but too empty and that’ll really mess with your head, but in a very different way. I don’t know that I’ve ever been much more violent because of it though.”

Emile just nodded, typing away.

“Can you ask Virgil what the differences between human hunger and vampire hunger are?” Logan asked.

“Sure!” Emile said, typing again. “Oh, he says he’s never been that full, maybe it’s just a born vampire thing?”

Remy shook his head. “Nah, I’ve seen it on enough vampires. Poor kid.”

Emile got a worried frown as he nodded.

“Em.” Remy said, more seriously.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t offer to let him drink from you.”

“Why not?”

“You’re… sweeter, than most humans. Way more than hunters, certainly. It’s like having a really good espresso after cheap gas station coffee, and if he keeps drinking from hunters it’ll just make him want the other. Not fun all around.”

“Ahh, yeah, I think I get it. Poor Virgil.” Emile’s frown disappeared as the phone buzzed. “He says that it feels like human hunger, but it makes him get all jittery, and it gets to where he feels like he’s losing control over his body.”

Logan nodded, comparing Virgil’s explanation to how he’d acted when Logan had ‘tested’ him. It did make sense.

“I’m asking him what the relationship between a vampire and their sire is like,” Emile said.

“Mmm, well, I’ve never been on the other end,” Remy said, keeping his eyes on the road. “But it’s a little like a thrall. A lot weaker, but they’ll be all doe-eyed and lovey, especially if you want them to be. You can do a lot of forcing too, but not completely.”

“Virgil said it felt like she was his mom and dad mixed together.” Emile got a really sad look on his face. “No wonder he was so devastated that she was killed.”

Logan nodded. He hadn’t thought that the relationship would’ve been that strong, and he’d discounted Virgil’s grief about it the few times Virgil had spoken about it. He honestly was glad that Emile was the one asking, as Emile was consistently considerate about things like that, whereas anyone else would likely cause Virgil to clam up.

“Would you ask him what sunlight feels like?” Logan asked. “It certainly doesn’t affect vampires the way it does in myth.”

“It stings,” Remy offered. “Hence the jacket and glasses. It’s manageable, but it’s better just not to.”

Emile stared at the phone for a bit before replying. “He says that it’s like the middle of summer, when you can feel the sun hitting your skin, and you just know that you’re going to be burnt despite the sunscreen, but all the time, and that the temperature is still whatever temperature it is.”

“That truly is interesting,” Logan mused, writing down both answers. “Would a vampire be injured by remaining in the sun for a length of time, or would it heal as quickly as other injuries seem to?”

“It depends. Sun-injuries, like silver injuries, only really heal if we have blood in our system. So a vampire held outside without eating probably would be hurt by it. Might even die.”

“Virgil says he doesn’t know, he hasn’t tried,” Emile piped up.

Logan nodded seriously, writing it down.

•^*^••

Virgil’s mind was spinning. After just twelve questions he’d asked to save more for later. Even he hadn’t thought that long about vampires and how they worked. And he was a little annoyed that he only had half answers for so many of the questions.

“Roman? I’m done with the phone now.”

Roman’s head popped up from the log at the table, and he shoved something underneath it as if he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“What are you doing with the log?” Virgil asked, holding out the phone.

“Uhhh…. I’ll tell you, but I won’t show you.”

“Why?” Virgil asked suspiciously.

“I have a knife.”

Virgil took a step back.

“Oh, no, wait!” Roman pleaded. “This is why I hid it, I don’t want you to feel threatened. I’d never, ever go near you with it. Give me a minute to put it away, and then I’ll show you what I’m doing.”

Virgil suddenly didn’t trust Roman enough to close his eyes. And he hated that he didn’t, because he knew that Roman wouldn’t hurt him, but he just couldn’t seem to believe it.

“Tell you what, just head back into the bedroom for just thirty more seconds so I can put it away.”

Virgil nodded, and backed into the bedroom so he didn’t have to turn around. Roman called him back only moments later.

Roman had turned the log around, showing that part of it was all cut, and there was a vague shape in the middle.

“It’s supposed to be a bird, but I really need something to look at to make it do right, which is why I came to see if you were done with the phone earlier.”

Virgil squinted. “Yeah. You definitely need a reference picture.”

Roman crossed his arms, his face more pouting than angry. “Oh, come on, it’s not that bad! And I'm not even half done yet.”

Virgil grinned. He had a sudden desire to try one himself. But he wasn’t certain that he could handle touching anything that was silvery, and he wasn’t sure he could sit near Roman doing it either. But he absolutely didn’t want to kick Roman off of his activity just to help him.

And at that moment Patton got back from grocery shopping. Virgil hid a smile at his fake mustache that didn’t suit him at all, and the baseball cap pulled down half over his face.

“I also got pizza! And it’s probably still warm!” Patton said proudly.

“Aw, yes!” Roman cheered, racing outside to get the pizza.

[spookyc]

*spoilers for heathers the musical and danganronpa 2 goodbye despair*

*tw for mentions of death and suicide*

Okay so I know it's been a minute since I've posted anything substantial so here's this:

I've got an heather's au for dr 2 that id like to share. Its not a completely fleshed out one but I have a good idea of most of the main characters in the story. So the easy choice would just be to make hajime, veronica, and make nagito, JD. Especially nagito for jd with the whole, well, bomb thing as well as them both being mentally unstable and having rough childhoods. Hajime fits the role of veronica because, like veronica, he wants to fit in and not be ostracized constantly. More specifically though, it would help him become confident, which is literally his whole arc in the second game. The heathers and the rest could then be determined by a lot of different characters and so on and so forth. I respect this interpretation and it does make a lot of sense, however, I would like to propose my own interpretation.

Let's start with the two main characters, veronica and jd. So for my au, I have decided that fuyuhiko will be veronica and peko will be jd. Let's start with my choice for jd. So, after my binge of the second game's playthrough, I remember that one night I was listening to heathers, specifically the song, our love is god. And as I listened I realized how similar peko and jd actually are. Now to preface, I'm not saying jd and peko are the same character, jd attempted to bomb an entire school and peko simply made the calculated decision to kill in order for fuyuhiko's safety to be assured.

What i am saying though, is that jd and peko's thought processes are very similar, and if peko was just a tad more unhinged, they would be hard to distinguish. How are they similar? Well, first you have the whole, "I worship you" mentality. Now, peko doesn't necessarily kiss the earth that fuyuhiko walks upon but this could be connected more to their actual relationship. That of a master and his servant. I servant must serve, much like a believer would to a god.

And right after that line jd says, "Id give my life for yours." Which peko literally does in the canon story, she gives her life in order to save fuyuhiko, and even protects him with her body in her own execution. Secondly, they both are delinquents, or socially awkward. They are both standoffish and seen as intimidating by others, and they both don't exactly know how to communicate well. Thirdly, they have somewhat similar backgrounds. Jd lost his mother, and peko is an orphan, they both know what its like to not live with parents, or at least not favorable parents. For example, peko had to constantly interfere with mr. and mrs. kuzuryu fighting to insure fuyuhiko's safety. And jd and his father have a tenuous relationship, with jd's father mostly being a near non-present force in his life. Additionally, im sure the leaders of a yakuza clan weren't exactly doting parents.

And lastly, their mutual feelings of self worth, or more so, the lack of it. Both jd and peko believe their lives to be meaningless without the existence of their veronicas. The only good things in their lives are their veronicas, and they would do anything to hold onto that happiness, even if it resulted in their deaths. But enough about jd and peko, what about fuyuhiko? This may seem like an odd choice and solely made on the prospect that jd is peko, but that isn't exactly the case.

While yes it seems unlikely that fuyuhiko would bother himself with the heathers, or even have a martha, i think it fits more as a visual metaphor of his character growth shown in the game. Its just that in this au, he's a popular dick that learns to be a better person after his gf dies, which is almost what happens in the actual game, minus the popular part. But mostly I'd like to tie in fuyuhiko's role as veronica when it comes to jd. This is where the similarities really start to shine. This is shown mainly in the song, seventeen, where veronica yearns for a normal relationship and to just be normal kids that aren't surrounded by murder. Sound familiar? Well it should, that's literally fuyuhiko's whole speech near the end of chapter 2.

I doubt this needs repeating since this scene is the equivalent of the g note in the dr fandom but for the sake of the argument I will go on. Fuyuhiko in his parting words says this, "You didn't need to be a tool, you just needed to be yourself." And, "I never wanted a tool, I just wanted you....Only you." Which is him saying, "Peko I don't what you to serve me, I don't want this kind of relationship. I just want you to be yourself, and I wanted you for you, not to be a tool for murder." Which could then easily be implied that he doesn't want to murder anyone anymore. This is a near exact mirror of the feelings expressed by veronica in seventeen.

Sure im probably looking into things a bit, but still fuyuhiko's speech near the end of ch. 2 and veronica's feelings in seventeen share a lot of similarities. Both veronica and fuyuhiko simply want to have a normal relationship with their respective partners, but this ultimately fails because their partners worshiped them and this fatal misunderstanding would lead to their deaths. As for the others, I don't have nearly as deep anlaysises of them and I don't have all the characters but I'll briefly discuss my choices for the heathers, kurt, ram, and martha. Also, this is purely in the universe of dr 2, so possible better choices for characters in other games would not be possible in my au.

So heather chandler is the ultimate imposter, this was a pretty obvious choice, while the UI isn't quite as big of a dick as byakuya he's still a jerk, but more importantly, just like in the game, he is a great leader for the heathers and without him the other two descend into chaos. Now this pick is gonna be a strange one but I will explain. I chose mikan to be heather duke. Now I know yall may find that to be an unfitting choice but I personally chose mikan to be heather duke mainly for the shine a light reprise. This is because I chose heather mcnamara to be hiyoko.

Most of the other girls also didn't fit this role, akane would be hard to see as any of heathers and I also think she's far too carefree to urge someone to commit suicide. Ibuki is completely out of the question, and considering how her death looked in the game it would be quite ironic as well. Chiaki also wouldn't make sense for obvious reasons. Mahiru also would obviously not make sense either and she's already a choice for another character anyway. And lastly, sonia wouldn't fit either. I could see her having a secret nasty side but I dont think she would tell someone to commit suicide and she also was always kind to hiyoko even when hiyoko lashed out at others.

And just to cover my bases, I don't think any of the boys would fit either. Maybe kazuichi or nagito but kazuichi is too much of a pussy and nagito would be more likely to say that stuff about himself rather than direct towards anyone else. Heck I could also even consider that after the ultimate imposter dies that's when mikan reverts back to her personality as the ultimate despair, so instead of her reverting because of some disease it would be at the death of her "friend" and the role of leader getting into her head. This would then influence her to tell hiyoko to commit suicide, causing peak despair and blah blah whatever. Hiyoko as heather mcnamara was a pretty easy choice thanks to lifeboat, it also especially fits if you consider hiyoko's backstory. She's the sole daughter of the saionji family, which is a very prestigious family in dr. This along with her talent as a dancer means that she is held to a much higher standard than other kids of her age and that she goes through constant pressure each day due to this standard.

"If I say the wrong thing, or i wear the wrong outfit, they'll throw me right over the side." This is what hiyoko has to deal with on a daily basis from her family as well as her fans. She also could likely be projecting this fear onto the other students. Alright, last three. For kurt and ram, I chose mahiru and sato and if you want my honest opinion it's literally just because peko gets to kill them both in our love is god and that's pretty much canon in the actual game. I say pretty much because, technically fuyuhiko is the one that kills sato but this is an au and that's honestly a pretty minor fix.

Lastly, I haven't thought a lot about martha's role in this au, but if I had to choose it would most likely be kazuichi, he fits as the social outcast and especially as the frequent punching bag for the heathers, especially considering that hiyoko is among their ranks. And that's about it for my dr heather's au! This post definitely went on longer than I intended but I had fun with it and I think you guys deserve a lengthier post since I haven't made as many actual posts besides birthdays in a hot minute. Let me know what yall think of this, and if you'd like to hear me infodump about more of my dr aus or thoughts than I would be happy to oblige.

[wordsfromthesol]

You’re a what… (1/4)

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @ghost-brocolli Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Your life is turned upside down when you suddenly land in Gotham. Thankfully Dick is nearby and knows way more than he lets on. Warnings: Language, violence, uhm…rambling? Word Count:  1.7k A/N: I hate that Hades is ALWAYS the bad guy, because he’s not. Hypnos is the god of sleep and dreams.

Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

It was just another routine day for you. Your dad was berating you about marrying one of the lovely gods he had picked out for you. Going on and on about how you needed to assume your rightful place among the gods. All the responsibilities you were neglecting and the people you were letting down. You had heard it a million times and he never changed your mind. In fact, you were growing quite tired of this age-old argument.

*Speaking Ancient Greek*

“You know what Dad? I’m out.” You threw your hands in the air. “I’m done with you. I’m done with Olympus. I’m just done.”

“You can’t run away from this Y/N. This is your destiny. Your birthright.”

“I’ve heard it all before and guess what. I. Don’t. Fucking. Care. I’m out.”

“Out? You can’t leave Olympus.”

“Wanna bet?” And with that you were gone and now stood on a random pier somewhere on earth. You looked up at the sky to see the evidence of your father’s anger. Bright white lights flickered through the clouds, when suddenly one of them barreled straight for you. You felt the bolt run through your entire body.

“REAL MATURE DAD!” You screamed up at the sky as you watched another bolt come for you. You started to walk along the pier, absorbing several more lightning bolts that were thrown in your path. “GIVE UP ALREADY, I’M NOT CHANGING MY DAMN MIND!” You stopped when you saw a figure in front of you, stopped dead in their tracks. “Family drama.” You explained as you walked by him. To your surprise, he followed.

“Uhm, are you sure you’re okay?”

English, okay. I can do that. “Oh yeah, someone just can’t get it through their thick skull that I’M NOT MARRYING ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS.”

“Right…so, you some kind of lightning meta?”

“Something like that.” Just as you spoke a massive wave came from no where and crashed onto the pier behind you. “OH, SHUT UP UNCLE!” You snapped your head towards the ocean.

After several minutes had passed, Dick began to realize that you had no idea where you were going. At least, he hoped, because you were headed directly towards the narrows.

“So, got someplace in particular you are headed?”

You honestly hadn’t gotten that far, you just wanted out of Olympus. You weren’t even entirely sure how you came to be…where ever you were. Someone must have helped you, Hermes or Persephone maybe? Whatever the case was, you were just glad to be rid of your father’s constant beratement.

“You know, actually, I’m not even entirely sure where I am…or how I got here?” Though you mumbled the last part, realizing that scaring off the person helping you was probably not the best bet.

Dick let out a sigh of relief, “Good, because you are headed directly towards the worst part of town.” He came to a stop, and you followed his lead. “If we head back, towards where I met you, my squad car is nearby. I can take you to a hotel or…”

“Lead the way…” You paused upon realization that you hadn’t asked his name.

“Dick Grayson.” He extended a hand, you shook it before turning to head back the way you came. Dick turned and caught up to you, “And yours would be…?”

Oh right, what did these people call your father again? Zeus. Right. Τέφρα, that would roughly translate to… “Y/N. My name is Y/N.” You didn’t bother trying to come up with a last name.

“So what brings you to Gotham?”

“Gotham…Gotham! Right, that’s the city…that I am currently in. I knew that.”

Dick narrowed his eyes with concern, “You got hit pretty hard back there. Are you sure nothing was scrambled?” He gestured to your head.

“No, I’m just...I don’t have a particular reason for being here. Just trying to get away.”

“From the family drama?”

Did he understand Ancient Greek, or was that just a coincidental statement? “Yeah,” you laughed off the coincidence, “can’t pick your family I guess.”

He shrugged, not wanting to reveal his own family struggles. “I’m just up here.” He pointed to an empty warehouse building near the pier that you had landed on. “You know, I’d been staking out the place for a few hours before I noticed you. You just kind of appeared out of nowhere…much like that lightning storm.” He arched his eyebrow up, hoping his inquiry would yield some information. And truthfully, you might have been inclined to give it to him, if you yourself knew how you got here. Instead you raised your hands and gave him a confused half-smile. “Right, so where am I taking you, Y/N?” His tone became much less understanding as he opened the passenger door.

You smiled to thank him but weren’t exactly sure what to tell him, so you crawled into the car without saying anything at all.

“I’m not taking you back to your family, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He shut the door and climbed in the driver’s seat before continuing. “You aren’t a minor. So I –” His words were cut off by your stifled laughter. A minor. Oh lord, he has no idea. “Something I said?”

“Oh, uhm. Just…I’m not a minor…by a long shot.” The thought again made you chuckle to yourself.

Dick furrowed his brow in confusion, “Right, as I said…so where to? Just need a hotel or something?”

Realization struck. I have absolutely no money, no form of ID, no other clothes. Looking down you realized your garb. Why on earth was Dick helping you? You were dressed like you should be at a toga party, not on a pier. Dick must have realized the sudden worried expression across your face, “My apartment is about twenty minutes from here. If you ah…need a place to figure things out.” You looked at him with relief in your eyes as you nodded. You didn’t speak the rest of the way, you were too busy in your own head.

I know I’m away from all that, but what am I supposed to do? How am I going to eat? What does this body even need to eat? Where am I going to sleep? Do I still have my powers? I didn’t even check that. How did I not check that? Will I be able to survive at all if I don’t have my powers? Humans are so weak. I don’t understand how they do it in the first place, there is so much bad in the world that they have to overcome. How do they do it without powers? Who put me here?

You looked up to realize Dick was getting out of the car.

Had it already been twenty minutes? What are all these feelings? Why can’t I breathe? I can’t breathe. Oh my Zeus. I can’t speak. Why can’t I speak?

You remember feeling someone’s arms around you. You remember hearing noise, someone speaking, maybe? Who knows what the words were, even if you did comprehend them, your mind was unable to formulate any kind of response.

**

Dick was confused by your sudden change in demeanor. He watched the confidence drain out of you when he asked where to take you. He thought it was a simple enough question, but he soon realized that he had only reached the beginning of this mysterious girl’s story. He tried to talk to you in the car, but it seemed as if your eyes had glazed over. Eventually, he gave up and left you to work things out in your own head. When he finally reached his apartment, he noticed your breaths becoming more and more shallow and rapid.

“Y/N?”

Still nothing.

“Fuck.” Dick scrambled to get out of the car and pulled you out from the passenger seat. When he felt your knees trembling and your entire body beginning to shake, he scooped you up and carried you to his bedroom. He laid you down and kneeled beside the bed.

“Y/N, you need to calm down. Breathe. I need you to breathe with me okay. We are going to count. Now breathe in for seven…one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Now hold for four…one, two, three, four. Now breathe out for eight…one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.” Dick repeated the mantra and watched your chest rise and fall to the count. Once your breathing became regular again, he spoke, “Y/N, you’re okay. You’re safe now. You can stay here tonight. I’ll be on the couch.” He turned to walk away, but felt your hand loosely grab his wrist. You had no idea what this human body had in store for you next, but you knew that you didn’t want to deal with it alone. Dick looked into your eyes and saw them filled with fear. He nodded and crawled next to you. Content with his presence, you closed your eyes and tried to welcome Hypnos. Zeus had different plans.

The world was covered in a blanket of death. The sky above was raging, as was the sea and the earth below your feet. You heard a voice bellow down from the heavens.

“This is what your future holds if you do not assume your responsibilities, young goddess.”

“Alright!” You screamed back. “The jig is up dad! I know this is you! Though how you got Hypnos to agree to your invasion is beyond me. I do not think that the world will fall into chaos if I don’t marry one of my idiotic cousins.”

“The world will be thrust out of balance!”

“Not because I don’t marry it won’t! This is ridiculous, you can’t expect me to believe this!”

“You must believe it! The world must remain balanced.”

“I can balance it from here! It’s not like I’m one of the big twelve! I’ve always been an outcast and everything I did up there, I can do down here.”

“HOW WOULD YOU?”

“Because I didn’t do anything up there. Anything except be miserable! For a thousand years, I was miserable!”

“Fine, if you will not heed my words…”

You began to feel the world around you heating up, unbearably hot. You screamed out in pain, as you watched the flesh begin to melt from your body, until everything went black.

[anika-ann]

Lessons in Rule-breaking - Pt.1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word count: 4100

Warnings: ...nothing major? Swearing, fluff, mention of death.

Summary: Working part-time at Smithsonian for a while now, you knew you could get in trouble when breaking the no-newcomers-after-30-minutes-before-the-closing-time rule, but you sure didn’t expect the trouble to look like this.

Story Masterlist

═══════☆═══════ 

 You were bored. Enormously. The clock was telling you there was still twenty minutes until the closing time and that time was always filled with boredom – half an hour ago, impressive crowds were still flooding the Captain America’s exhibition as if it was The Independence Day aka Cap’s birthday. Now, with the well-known rule of not letting any newcomers in less than 30 minutes before the closing time, the counter desk was painfully empty. Hence the boredom and the idle hands.

As far as you heard, idle hands were the devil’s tools and maybe it was the truth – but here in Smithsonian, there weren’t many things for the devil operate with. Sure, you could go to another level for a different exhibition and mix up some captions to artefacts, but that seemed like too much work and with how crowded the space was, it was next to impossible. Another option was to pull the fire alarm, but you weren’t that much of a punk.

So, most of the time, you settled with watching people around you – unlike when the insane number of people was flowing in and if you hadn’t had an ID shoved into your face allowing a children discount you wouldn’t have known if a kid was coming or an adult, a man, a woman, a farmer, the freaking president or Captain America himself – finally having the time to relax. You weren’t proud of barely paying attention during the busy hours, but… well. You made up for that in the free time in the evening.

There was a kid with a backpack with Captain America’s shield on it, watching what could be his brother in his father’s arms as he was holding the kid up right next to the panel showing Captain’s transformation from the skinny boy to a walking rock. Very cute rock. Anyway, in the corner, an incredibly bored-looking girl was pulling her mother’s sleeve, impatient to get out, perhaps looking forward to seeing a cartoon instead of a war museum exhibit. There was a guy rolling his eyes at his girlfriend, who was standing by the display of authentic outfits (and mannequins, the source of the man’s annoyance, if you could take a guess), making heart eyes at the Captain’s figure; you couldn’t hold back a giggle and looked away.

Which was exactly when you noticed the pair on the different side of the gate, outside of the space of exhibition. It was a woman with a boy who couldn’t be older than six years old. He would have been cute, a ginger with several freckles on his nose and cheeks, looking like he would have dimples when smiling, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for smiling. In fact, he seemed wrecked. Glassy tears were rolling down his cheeks, welled up in huge eyes and he sniffed from time to time. The woman whom you assumed was his mother was trying to comfort him, herself wearing a helpless expression.

Alright, you were leaving your post right now. Perhaps it was the devil’s handiwork indeed, maybe it was none of your business, whatever the kid was crying for. But it was breaking your heart. You approached them rapidly, and being just few steps from them, you could see the mum pointing at a sign – the sign that was telling them that they could no longer enter the exhibition.

Ah, damn.

“Can I help you?” you asked politely, the woman’s gaze immediately snapping your direction, startled a bit. She eyed your nametag.

“No, no thank you,” she brushed you off, an apologetic smile on her lips. The kid sniffed again.

“Alright. If you’re sure…”

You backed off quickly, spinning on your heels and mentally slapping yourself. Why had you come to them again?

“But mommy-“

“No, Jamie, sweetheart. We’re late, we spent too much time in the park. We’ll have to come here another time-“ the woman explained patiently, her voice gentle but firm.

You bit your lip but started walking. Rules. There were rules.

“But you said we’re coming home in the morning! I’ll never see Captain America,” he sobbed and your heart sank. They must have been tourists.

But nope. No exceptions. You would do it once and then it would become a standard. Not to mention you could also get freaking fired for it— well, probably not fired, just punished, but still. Rules.

“We do, honey. We’ll have to come-“

“But you promised!”

Yeah, that was enough. You turned to them again and squatted to the kid. He frowned at you, his lower lip trembling. Oh boy, now you were lost to him.

“There are rules that need to be followed,” you said quietly and the kid sobbed again. The mother looked at you, caught between apologetic and angry about you moralizing her kid. You quickly continued. “But, we have one more rule here that not many people know. Can you keep a secret?”

The boy seemed intrigued enough, which was good. You eyed the woman; she was watching you in anticipation, probably ready to report you for harassment, but curious about what your play was.

The kid nodded.

“Good. I’ll tell you, but I’m gonna ask you a question first, okay?” Another nod. “Who’s Captain America?”

“A hero!” the kid replied immediately, his eyes lighting up with a spark of excitement. You couldn’t help but smile.

“And why is he a hero?”

“Because he’s strong! And he has the shield! I have a Frisbee like him! He’s the best superhero!”

You bit the inside of your cheek at the idea of what the big hero would think about his shield being compared to a Frisbee – it certainly wasn’t the first time you heard this, but it never failed to amuse you.

“Really? That’s great. But do you know why he’s a real hero?”

The boy seemed thoughtful for a second before he measured you with wide eyes, clueless.

“Because,” you whispered, leaning closer to him conspiratorially, “he has a good heart and he’s helping people.”

The kid was in awe. The mother stared at you, still unsure of what you would do.

“Now the secret – we have one more rule here. If someone has enough strength to open the ticket barrier, he can come in even if there is only 20 minutes left.” Jamie’s eyes widened, his mouth falling open. “But, he can’t only open it for himself. He needs to be of a good heart and let someone else in. Do you think you can do that? Are you good?”

The kid immediately nodded in agreement, taking his mum’s hand. You smiled at him and looked at the woman hesitantly. Did you just screw up?

“Can you really let us in?” she asked you lowly when you levelled yourself with her. You just nodded wordlessly. You would have to put in someone’s year pass, but it would work.

The boy practically pulled his mum to the ticket barrier, impatient. He tried to push before you even took your place by the computer. The barrier didn’t move, of course. You mentally grinned at his confused expression and quickly entered a pass. He tried again, an amazed smile on his lips as he went through. Being on the other side, he pulled so his mum could get in too. He had an extremely focused expression on his face and he was too cute for his own good. The way he lighted up when the woman got in was simply priceless.

“Mom! I’m strong and good like Captain America!” he exclaimed enthusiastically and the woman patted his head lovingly.

“Yes, sweetheart. Now, let’s thank the nice lady-“

“Thank you!”

“You’re welcome. Now go to see your hero,” you whispered encouragingly, anxious to get them moving. You were suddenly worried that your interaction might attract someone’s curious eye. You prayed it hadn’t.

The mother shot you one more grateful look and let her son to drag her away. You went to throw the tickets away to destroy the evidence, picking few more on your way – why did people throw these on the floor when the trashcan was like three meters away?

"That was really nice of you."

"Crap!” you cursed, nearly jumping out of your skin at the fright. Someone had seen you let the kid in. Definitely. Oh shit. You quickly spun to the male voice. “I— please don't report me. I’m-“

You froze when you saw the man who had witnessed your offence to the regulations, recognizing him immediately despite his baseball cap and casual stance.

“OH CRAP."

"You seem to swear a lot though," he noted, the smile on his lips amused, cheeky even.

Captain America was a cheeky man. Who would have guessed? Not you, that was for sure. You slowly let the impossible fact of Steve Rogers being here sink in. It was not an easy task, your mind kept screaming ‘holy shit, Captain America is here and talking to me’, but that was not the main problem – the rule-breaking was. Captain America caught you breaking a rule. You were so fired.

"Well, someone who is not just anyone, caught me breaking a rule that is written in huge-a-“ you closed you mouth before another curse could leave you mouth, remembering his… teasing? “-huge letters for everyone to see. The American symbol of righteousness did, actually. I count myself entitled."

You were honestly proud of yourself for saying so many sentences without a stutter despite freaking out.

His smile turned a bit bashful, the amused spark remaining in his eyes only. Really? He was self-conscious? And now? Wow. Did he notice his face was all over the walls? The entire exposition was about him for god’s sake.

"I won't report you. I told you – I think it was really nice of you."

You hesitantly smiled back, still unsure. "Uhm... okay."

And then you did something you excelled at. You spun on your heels and returned behind the counter, pretending you didn’t exist. You didn’t even say goodbye; yet, you would swear that when was Steven Grant Rogers disappearing behind a corner, he glanced at you over his shoulder with a smile.

The moment you couldn’t see him anymore, you let your elbows hit the counter desk and your head fell into your palms with a whine.

You had talked to Captain America. He had been ridiculously nice despite – or because – of what he had seen you doing. And you ran away. You were such an idiot.

═══════☆═══════

To say that you forgot about the incident before it was time to kick people out would be a big fat lie – mainly because it had been only tens of minutes. It was time to close the exposition for visitors. The guards always took care of people, reminding them that it was time to go and by eight o’clock, the last individuals were leaving so you could close the gate. Today was your turn to check on the space once more as the guards were switching shifts and so you rose to your feet to perform your duty as your sort-of-friend Mia waved you goodbye.

Usually, there were no ‘left-overs’ as you called people who somehow managed to escape the security and stayed in. But naturally, with your turn being today, there had to be an exception.

You slowly approached the man standing by Sergeant Barnes’ panel, realizing who he was within several feet distance. You stopped dead in your tracks, unsure what do to.

What would anyone else do when finding Captain America standing by his dead best friend’s panel after clock? ‘Cause you sure as hell had no clue how you should proceed. You nervously bit your lip, continuing your way with no plan.

You stopped two steps from him, opening your mouth and-- no words came out. You closed it again, clearing your throat.

“Captain Rogers, uhm…“

He glanced at you, seemingly surprised, as if he only acknowledged you now, when you were standing at arm’s length – well, his anyway. His blue eyes measured you, a bit confused until he looked around only to see no one else was here. How the hell did the guard miss him? Or had he left him here? Should you do the same?

"Sorry, I'm leaving," he whispered with a forced smile, sparing one more glance at the board. You did the same, your eyes landing on the date of birth of the soldier. Your heart sank. Oh. It was suddenly very clear whether you should leave Captain alone here or not; it was the anniversary of his best friend’s birthday.

"You don't... you don't have to,” you blurted out hastily, waving it off in a wannabe casual gesture. He tilted his head, confused. “I need to do some… administrative stuff anyway. Have your moment."

"Really? Bending the rules again?" he asked, the teasing coming out much less challenging than he probably intended. You shrugged.

"Only if it's okay with the Star-Spangled Man."

He lowered his gaze to the floor, but a tiny grateful smile played on his lips. "It is. Thank you."

"It's nothing."

"It's a lot. And... my name is Steve."

He peeked at you from under his unnaturally long eyelashes, his eyes saying more than his words or tone. You felt your heart jump nervously, blood rushing to your cheeks. He actually extended his hand for you to shake. His hand was freaking huge – yet, it closed around yours rather gently despite being able to crush your bones to dust or something.

"Nice to meet you… Steve. It's an honour." One corner of his lips rose higher at the note and you just wished to disappear into thin air before you would turn into a puddle of lovesick jelly with rapidly beating heart. You took your leave hastily, whispering over your shoulder. “Take your time.”

It was only few minutes later when you were dully staring at the computer screen on the counter that you realized you hadn’t even introduced yourself to the man you apparently had a crush on – you were fucking working at his exhibition, how had you missed that? You whimpered silently and resisted urge to bang your forehead against the desk.

Almost thirty minutes later, you really needed to leave and kick Capt— Steve out. You really, really didn’t want to do that. You had secretly hoped he would pass your desk during ‘administrative stuff’ time, but he hadn’t.

Approaching him by the very same board you had left him at, you felt like a monster.

“Lots of memories?” you tried out, minding to whisper so you wouldn’t startled him like the last time.

“Yeah, more than I can count. Mostly the good ones though. He saved me from getting beat to a pulp multiple times. Often dragged me out to dance, because he met a new girl and she was generous enough to bring a friend – not that she was interested in a guy who was barely reaching her shoulders,” he hummed, remembering his pre-serum times probably. There was nothing malicious or envious in his words. He seemed melancholic. “Bucky was a true ladies’ man.”

You couldn’t help but grin – sure, with Bucky’s looks and him being excellent at about everything, you could imagine. But it was a little different, hearing it from Captain America himself.

“Was he now?”

“Oh yes. The first time a beautiful woman looked at me rather than at him, he said he was living a nightmare becoming me.”

“He didn’t,” you whispered incredulously, silencing the giggle that wanted to escape your lips. Damn, some best friend he was; you were sure Bucky only had been teasing and it felt so casual, so normal, just two friends making fun of each other. It wasn’t exactly easy to imagine that when all you had ever heard were legends of their bravery.

Steve glanced at you with a corner of his eye. “He did.”

“That’s mean. What did you say?”

His smile grew wider. “Not to be sore about it, because she sure had a friend.”

You burst out laughing, feeling like Mr. Righteous suddenly stepped into a column of light which made him someone completely else. Cheeky. Mischievous. Friendly in the most common way. Human. Just a guy. Just a kid from Brooklyn.

“I take it I really need to leave now,” he noted, his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans as if he truly was a regular guy walking down the street. Unbelievable.

“Depends,” you hummed, not sure where that came from. “You have more fun facts like this to share? Or not funny ones, just interesting?”

He tilted his head curiously, examining you, trying to figure out whether you were serious.

“You won’t get into trouble?”

You shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

“In that case, I actually do. Follow me, madam.”

An hour later, your cheeks hurt, your tear ducts were probably dried up completely and your head was full of so many new information it should hurt, but instead, it was just buzzing pleasantly. Also, you were sure you had a heart condition, because that constant flutter could not be healthy. You were tired, yet, you found yourself being disappointed that the special tour was ending.

"Okay, now I feel really sorry we don't do guided tours. I would be so popular..." you exclaimed, rewarded by a grin from Steve.

"It's a thing to consider. You should offer it to your boss."

You let out probably very unattractive snort. "Sure. And why would we wanna do that, miss? Because Captain America took me on a tour and told me very interesting details. He would probably want to run blood tests to check for drugs or something.... Thank you, Capt— Steve. I imagine it couldn't have been all easy."

"It's memories. It still... still feels more like home," he admitted and after so many rather light facts, you were reminded of just how heavy his destiny was.

"I can't imagine that. Waking up after seventy years. It's..."

"Insane?" he offered, eyebrow raised.

"I was gonna say ‘lonely’, but sure, ‘insane’ works. Everything has to be so different."

"It is. The progress of technology... I mean... just phones and computers. It's… a lot."

"Yeah... I wonder how much the world would change if I fell asleep for 70 years now. Theories? More like flying cars or a huge garbage bin like in Wall-E?"

"Wall-E?" he questioned, looking a bit confused. Only then it hit you – he probably hadn’t seen it.

"Oh, right. It's an animated film set in the future. A robot named Wall-E is on Earth, searching for a sign of life, fauna, flora, anything, while the rest of humanity is on a huge spaceship. Not your typical Pixar movie. I remember seeing it as a kid and being bored out of my mind when the first twenty minutes was just the robot moving between trash and occasionally saying ‘Wall-E’. It gets better though. Still, it's pretty far from movies like Finding Nemo."

"…I don't know what that is either.”

"Dude! You gotta check out Finding Nemo!" you called out, half outraged, half excited. Then you froze. "I mean— sorry. Jesus, I just called you a dude-"

What was wrong with you? You had had troubles to switch from Captain to Steve, and now he was a dude? Talk about respect, young lady…

But Steve just laughed at you, a full-belly laugh with his head thrown backwards and it was so normal and relaxed that you found yourself starring incredulously and possibly a little bit in love.

"That's okay, really. You got very excited."

"It's an amazing movie! Do you... do you catch up with pop culture?" you asked, honestly curious.

Seventy years’ worth of books, movies, TV series, music, theatre… wow. You couldn’t imagine that.

"I'm trying," he admitted, pulling out a small notebook and a pen. For a split second, you thought he was gonna give you his phone number, which was ridiculous of course. He wrote something down, smiling. "Now I have other tips.” Now that made more sense. “Do they still play that?"

"Yeeeah... no. Not by a long shot. You can always downlo— how does Captain America feel about downloading stuff from the internet? I mean..."

"That's like... putting it into your computer without paying a single dollar, right?" he asked, just to be sure. It was cute.

"Yep. Which I don't do. At all."

His laugh was more subtle this time, but his eyes were locked with yours, causing you butterflies, so there was that. "Well, Captain America is very disappointed in you. Steve understands."

"Thanks, Steve. Is it offensive to say that it somehow matters to me more?"

"Not really."

His eyes shined and his smile was wrapping you in a soft warm blanket and you knew that if there was something you definitely didn’t want it was saying goodbye and never seeing this man again. In flesh, that was, the exhibition didn’t count. Your mind raced.

"...I just got the craziest idea."

"If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it,” he quoted god knew who. You assumed it was a quote, not that you wanted to underestimate this wonderful man. “Hit me with it."

You gulped nervously. This was as terrible idea as it was an amazing one.

"There are old slide projectors in here, sure... but there are digital projectors too. If you... if you wanted to... have a cinema-like atmosphere, I can download the movie for you to watch it here,” you offered reluctantly, carefully observing his reaction. “Hell, we have a microwave in personal’s, I can even make popcorn!”

He blinked at you, the shiny baby-blues baffled.

“Or not. It's a silly idea-"

"No!” he protested quickly, smiling reassuringly at you. “It's... it sounds really nice. Do you think the guards would be... okay with that? You did mean after closing time, right?"

Did he just say yes?

"Yeah, of course! And yes, I mean... it would be for Captain America. How could they say no?"

His cheeks seemed to flush – but that must have been the lighting only, right? Captain America was not freaking blushing. Though he did look a bit timid. "You would really do that?"

"Sure. I mean... I can try."

"Alright — but only if it's not too much trouble. I wouldn't want you to have problems with your employer," he said sincerely, his eyes locked with yours again and your heart honest to god stopped.

Christ, was he trying to give you a heart attack?

“ ’kay,” you breathed, completely lost, mesmerized by the intensity of his gaze.

What was your name again?

“If I give you my phone number, will you text me when you would have time?”

It was official; you had died and went to heaven. An incredibly attractive man was standing in front of you practically shoving you his phone number and it might have been purely friendly, but still. Oh. My. God.

“Yep.”

Really? ‘Yep’?

He pulled out the notebook again, tearing one page and writing down the digits. You forgot how to breathe. This was really happening. He handed you the paper with a shy smile and whispered ‘here you go.’ When he added your name, you were about to swoon.

He wrote down not only the number, but his name too. You found it adorable, chuckling at that.

“You think I’m carrying lots of phone numbers in my pockets, Steve?” you teased him about it a little and he seemed confused at first, until something that was not a flirtatious smile for sure settled on his lips.

“Wouldn’t surprise me.”

Your breath caught in your throat, some inner voice screaming at you not to interpret it in a wrong way. Steve was a very nice person, that was a fact. He probably didn’t even realize how that sounded. Yeah, that was it.

You laughed it off. “Sure. Thanks, Steve, I’ll let you know. Hopefully, you won’t be busy.” Alright, backpedal, backpedal. “Thank you for the special tour, Captain.”

“You’re very welcome, ma’am,” he saluted and you chuckled silently. Who was this guy? Did you imagine this? Were you high? Maybe you really needed the blood tests… “Have a good night-- you need a ride?”

You almost choked on your own spit. BACKPEDAL.

Oh yes, you could use a ride. Whatever that meant.

You smiled awkwardly. “Uhm… no thank you. Goodnight, Steve.”

He returned the goodbye with a tiny smile.

You held the delighted shriek inside until five minutes passed since the door closed behind him.

You were in so much trouble.

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Part 2 (final)

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Tags: @mermaidxatxheart​

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Awww, this one is an oldie of mine. Even more fluff than usual and that’s saying something...