#honestly though a great challenge to start off the new year with!

[itsthemorph]

JANAURY DAY 7 - Everything, Everywhere, All At Once AU - @stillpreoccupiedwith1985

February 1st, 2025- “Basically, Marty is aware and can access all universes.”

What better of a way to end off Janaury then with an au where Marty can see all aus? I hope yall enjoyed all my art, and sorry to those I spammed at the end. I had a great time though, and I definetly plan to do more in the future! For now though, imma go and finish my homework 🤠👍

Link to all the posts below the cut!

Day 1 , Day 2 , Day 3 , Day 4 , Day 5 , Day 6 , Day 8 , Day 9 , Day 10 , Day 11 , Day 12 , Day 13 , Day 14 , Day 15 , Day 16 , Day 17 , Day 18 , Day 19 , Day 20 , Day 21 , Day 22 , Day 23 , Day 24 , Day 25 , Day 26 , Day 27 , Day 28 , Day 29 , Day 30 , Day 31

[lauramkaye]

Hot take on a 200-year-old book

At the start of Pride and Prejudice, Darcy liked Caroline Bingley, and Caroline isn't completely irrational to think that she might get him to propose eventually.

Oh, he WON'T, not with her connections in TRADE, but it isn't so very wrong of her to have hopes of him. He doesn't like meeting new people and he's used to her because she's his friend's sister, he's had her to stay at Pemberley at least once and is now staying with her family so he must not have hated it! Plus, she has fashionable manners and appearance, she's generally fairly savvy and clever, and they have a great time being bitchy to each other about people they don't like. She's funny in a mean way and SO IS HE - "She a beauty? I'd as soon call her mother a wit." For Darcy, Caroline makes a fairly amusing person to trade zingers with, roast vulgar people, and probably to use as a shield against other husband hunters that he knows less well. I suspect that Caroline's plan when they come to Netherfield is to just keep being in his orbit, showing off her society hostess and witty one-liner skills, and eventually he'll realize he has to get on with producing an heir and will decide that as far as eligible known quantities go, better Caroline than Anne De Bourgh. (Which, I mean, at least Caroline brings more pleasant in-laws and you could actually have a conversation with her.) It's not a terrible strategy for somone as antisocial as Darcy, honestly, though I think that pre-book Darcy is okay with being FRIENDS with the Bingleys but wouldn't be polluting the shades of Pemberley with them, so to speak - that's a bridge too far for his sense of what is due to his family.

(In fact when you think about it, the way that Elizabeth and Wickham enjoy dishing dirt about Darcy is kind of a mirror of the way Darcy and Caroline start out!)

I think part of why Caroline gets so very desperate and blatant is that Darcy stops playing along with their usual games as he starts to fall for Elizabeth. It's not so funny when it's about his crush, and instead of giving back another quip about how inferior these country bumpkins are, he not only shuts her down but does it in a way that is complimentary to another woman. I think the first time he does this is at Lucas Lodge with the infamous "fine eyes" comment. You can SEE Caroline getting more and more frantic to re-establish their prior rapport and Darcy just doubling down on taking every one of her attempts and turning it into a way to say something nice about Elizabeth, to the point where by the end of the Netherfield trip he is deliberately fucking with Caroline and I think is kind of enjoying it in a "hah hah, you can dish it out but you can't take it" sort of way.

If Caroline was a little smarter and more devious - a bit more like Wickham - she would have eased off and focused her comments not on Elizabeth but on her family, especially Mrs. Bennet and Lydia, who DO behave in a way counter to propriety and good manners and are genuinely embarrassing to their better-mannered sisters. That way, she could have reinforced his feelings against the match. Continuing to push him and doubling down every time he pushed back activated his Lady Catherine-Tuned Stubbornness Circuits (aka "I am the master of Pemberley and you don't get to tell me who I can or cannot marry").

Caroline and Elizabeth are both witty and fun to talk to, but Elizabeth is witty in a playful and sweet way that doesn't offend people (even when she might WANT to, see pretty much every conversation they have at Rosings). And most important, in the long run, Caroline encourages Mr. Darcy to indulge in his worst self (much like Fanny Dashwood does to John Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility) while Elizabeth challenges and inspires him to become his best self, and that's the most important difference between them.

[inside-lees-mind]

HII I saw your requests are open and you wanted um. Neji. Reqs. Hi. um.!! Could you write something of him with a reader thats not from a strong clan (They are well known but not for fighting or even field work) and doesn’t have a Kekkei Genkai or anything but is strong regardless,,, wields a sword and is great at fighting physically and all that. She teases him a lot and gets not his nerves but it’s all affectionate! She does get underestimated a lot though. I’ve had this idea sitting in my head ever since I watched naruto,, saw team guy and fell in love they are my roman empire

Neji With an S/O Who Isn’t From a Prominent Clan

Idk if i capitalize titles right tbh. I forget how it’s done honestly. I don’t remember if “With” gets capitalized.

Anyways, thank you so much for your request!

This is a little harsh in the beginning. So WARNING! For asshole genin Neji.

No gender specified, but “beautiful” is used

An uneven number of shinobi graduating from the academy was so oddly unheard of that at first, you ended up training alone with some jonin who took pity on you.

And at first, Neji had said something to his team about that just being the fate of people like you. Destined to be alone and a failure.

No need to give you some chance for a big break in life, this would happen any way you put it.

Neji didn’t ever figure he’d be willing to die for you one day. (Maybe he’s not the character to say this for…)

He dreaded when Gai Sensei introduced you as a new teammate of team 3.

Of course Gai would go through the trouble of taking pity on a wimp like you. He should have expected no less.

Tenten was excited that you wielded a weapon, however.

And Rock Lee was excited to have a new teammate! Not to mention, you were beautiful. He was just a little smitten…

Overtime, he watched you train. And as Tenten marveled over how well off you were in your skills with your ninjato! (A ninjato is a straight sword, if you don’t know. Sasuke uses one)

And in the same way he thinks Rock Lee or Naruto are destined to never make it anywhere, he thinks the same of you.

After the chunin exams and the Konoha crush, he begins to think differently of you. He thinks differently of himself, Rock Lee, and Naruto as well. Even Lady Hinata.

Overall, he becomes more pleasant to be around. And you both start to talk a bit more often.

Soon he fines Lee’s insistence on flirting with you so openly is annoying, and not just because he won’t shut up anymore, but now it’s that he’s jealous.

He’s jealous?

He’s jealous.

And when he watches you fight while on missions, he’s got a different way of looking at you.

Maybe somebody with no Kekkei Genkai and no prominent clan can really make it. Maybe you aren’t destined for failure. Maybe that challenge is just something you can overcome, become stronger.

And you have.

I think being with him would be a classic case of you fell first, he fell harder.

You didn’t fall immediately. You were very sweet, but anybody with a brain knew Neji was a total asshole. Even if you were rather nice to him, you didn’t have eyes for him beyond thinking he was pretty for a guy.

So once he starts to be nicer, you quickly realize he’s not just visually your type. You really like the guy.

It takes him a couple years to fully realize he fell for you.

And a bit longer to realize Lee, as much as he cares for him, is testing his patience asking you out. When will he give up?

So he realizes, if he keeps quiet, are you gonna give in and let Lee have a chance with your heart?

So he ends up asking you out on a date after pulling you off to the side. Making sure you were out of earshot from anybody, especially your team.

You both keep it silent from Tenten, Gai, and Lee. Anybody really. For a while.

He wonders how none of them notice the way you tease him more than the others. The way you’re just a bit too touchy with him. (Tenten noticed, but she keeps her mouth shut for a while)

The way you insist on braiding his hair or tying it up for him before training or something to get it out of his way.

Or just beg him to let you braid it for fun. No real reason.

Usually he rolls his eyes, groans, and says no. Firmly. But he’s not so firm with you.

He looks so pretty with his braided hair. Let’s just say that.

Until finally Neji snaps a little bit at Lee, “When will you realize, y/n has a boyfriend, Lee.”

Lee’s eyes go wide, and he’s visibly upset. But soon his brows just furrow a bit as he exclaims “WAIT, WHO??”

Neji realizes his mistake, but he’s not ashamed of you. So maybe it is time to say something. So he informs Lee, and the rest of the over enthusiastic team, that he is, in fact, your boyfriend.

He’s actually so proud of your skills.

He’s not the type to show you off by PDA, but he will smirk and look all smug when somebody compliments you or you do something awesome.

And when the clan’s branch system gets dismantled, eventually he starts figuring your name would sound real nice with Hyuga as a family name.

[insilanar]

Any lestappen fic rec to share ? 😣 Any favourite author on ao3! I need some!

Hi anon 😘 Of course! In fact I've actually been working on a personal fic rec, so I'm glad I get to share it with you!

Here you go, hope you enjoy <3

Lestappen fic rec

Short-ish fics 🩵

control systems a College AU by @itsgoingdutchin2021 | 1.2 k

Summary:

Due to an unfortunate encounter in their freshman year, both Charles and Max hate each other. Then they are assigned a group project.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

<3

your hands are cold a High School AU by dhufflebee | 3.9 k

Summary:

“I feel like this event should really be called ‘Frosty Fusion’ or something like that.”“That is, of course, incredibly stupid.”“Hey!”“It doesn’t mean that ‘Snowmen Competition’ isn’t the most boring name ever, though.”OR: long-time friends and rivals Charles and Max hail from neighboring schools, and brave the biting cold, the challenges of snow sculpture, and their own buried feelings

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

<3

Kiss It Goodbye (Your Little Panic Attack) F1 Fic by @celientjeee | 5.1 k

Summary:

‘What- How did you do that?’ Charles asked, he still felt a bit shaken and hot, but the tingling had disappeared.Max smiled at him and let his hands drop away from Charles’ cheeks.‘I once read that holding your breath could stop a panic attack and when I kissed you, you held your breath.’‘I did?’ Charles winced at how high his voice sounded. OR: Charles gets a panic attack and Max helps him (more than once)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

<3

Fics between 10 k and 20 k 🧡

Cheating at Bingo and Other Christmas Traditions a Cozy Winter AU by @wanderingblindly | 12.4 k

Summary:

"You know, there’s a very nice, very handsome young man in my neighborhood –” She starts back up, flagging down their waiter for another glass of wine.“Absolutely not,” He cuts her off with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Next topic.”“So you’re too good for him, is that it?” She sounds defensive, but her tone still has a mocking edge to it – emphasized by the quirk of her brows.Hardly holding back a groan, Charles tries to think of a way out of this. She’s like a cat, batting at him until he gives up, rolls over, and plays dead. “That’s not – I’m just busy, and it’s –” OR: Hallmark style fluff featuring an irritated Charles, a well-meaning Max, and the grandma that just wants them to kiss

Rating: General Audiences

<3

Golden Hour a Uni AU by Chariots4 | 13.2 k

Summary:

Max is a great roommate. So great that when Lando asks him to be part of a music video he’s filming he does so, without asking what it will be about.Turns out he will have to model with no other than Charles Leclerc. As lovers. The two men’s desire to not be outdone by the other takes the whole thing to new levels.

Rating: Explicit

-> This is also a personal favorite of mine since it was my first ever Formula 1 RPF fic and honestly, it's written amazingly well!👌

<3

oui chef a Chef AU by @sunshineyoujustwait | 16.2 k

Summary:

There’s someone standing in his kitchen.He looks young, maybe close to Max’s age, with messy dark brown hair that’s pulled back from his face by a red bandana, and he’s leaning against the kitchen counter like he’s supposed to be here.Max’s first rather unhelpful thought is; fuck, he’s gorgeous. His second, more reasonable thought is;“Who the fuck are you?”“Charles Leclerc,” the man smiles. It's a little bit dazzling and Max is not at all distracted by it. He extends his hand for Max to shake. “I’m your new executive sous chef.” OR: Max is very happy with his life, thank you very much. He has his restaurant, his team, and two Michelin stars at the age of 24. He definitely does not need some pretentious Monegasque chef coming in and throwing everything into chaos.Except, maybe he does.

Rating: General Audiences

<3

you got me a College AU by @fueledbyremembering | 16.6 k

Summary:

When Max looks up he stares into pretty green eyes behind black rimmed glasses. His hand is still blindly feeling around to find the books—his brain lagging—as he stares at the guy from last night. He straightens up and Max follows, staring dumbly as he holds out the books for Max to take.“Thanks,” Max says, feeling like an idiot as he takes the books, their fingers brushing for a split second. This was not how he wanted to meet again. “Again, I’m so sorry.”The guy smiles and Max thinks he might just die a little when he notices he has dimples. Of course he has dimples. OR: Max falls head over heels for the cute guy at a college party and he can't stop thinking about him (aka the lestappen college au nobody needs).

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

<3

Fics above 30 k ❤

Late night devil put your hands on me a Thief/Detective AU by @f1-giuki | 42.1 k

Summary:

"Do you want to know what is more incredible?" Max asks, staring at Charles' full and round pecs without any shame. "What?" Charles asks, enjoying how Max's cheeks get redder and redder as he licks clean the fork. "Stealing the Nine Pieces of Eight, with me," Max says and Charles drops his fork in the plate. "The Nine pieces of eight? Isn't that like a legend? The owner of those artworks is unknown…" The Monegasque asks, furrowing his brows. Max grins and rolls his eyes. "I know a guy..." Max says, pulling Charles close by the elastic band of his boxers. OR: World-class thief Max Verstappen asks Interpol Detective Charles Leclerc out on a date (to put on the world's most complicated heist ever conceived) but things never go as planned.

Rating: Mature

<3

To Your Heart’s Content a Mafia AU by @cornerofacry | 119.4 k

Summary:

Max pinched the bridge of his nose as he went into the car. Before his chauffeur could close the door, however, Daniel leant in, having rushed from the bar’s entrance."I forgot to tell you…" the Australian begun, his face serious and grave.Max gritted his teeth, silently nodding for the man to continue. He couldn’t stand much more. He wanted to scream at the entire world. To run home and hide and force some sense down his own throat.To put himself back together."I left a- a gift at your house. For your birthday… I planned it long ago, before-""Alright," Max cut him, short and harsh. OR: Charles, a high end prostitute, finds himself in the arms of a man who really, really, cares for him, despite the gun on his nightstand.

Rating: Explicit

<3

Favorite lestappen authors 💕

NovaCloud, Richardmarie75, WanderingBlindly, xxcelientje, amarynas, charlescoded, LestappenForever, linearity

Note to the authors: If your fic is on here and you would like me to take it down I will. Feel free to just dm me about it or drop and ask 😌

And anon I hope you find something you like on this list!

[magical-reid]

A George Weasley x Reader

The “I can’t remebe the last time I laughed like this”

But it’s then making everyone think their dating even though it’s just two platonic idiots

Just for Laughs

Pairing: George Weasley x Implied Gryffindor!Reader

Word Count: 500

Summary: A playful joke between two friends in the common room spirals into a hilarious ruse, with George and the reader pretending to date to the bewilderment of their friends. Ultimately, the truth comes out, but the laughter and chaos they cause make the whole charade worth it.

It started as a joke. A fleeting, ridiculous idea whispered between you and George one lazy afternoon in the Gryffindor common room.

“Imagine if everyone thought we were dating,” George had mused, idly flicking Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans at your head.

“Why stop at imagining?” you had grinned, catching one in your palm. “Let’s give them a show.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The Great Hall was the perfect stage. You slid onto the bench beside George one morning, dramatically stealing a piece of toast from his plate.

“Darling, you know how I feel about you taking my food,” he sighed, loud enough for those around you to hear.

“You love me too much to stop me,” you shot back, smirking.

Fred nearly choked on his pumpkin juice. Across the table, Lee Jordan’s eyes widened. You and George? Since when?

A few days later, George draped his arm over your shoulder as you both strolled through the castle. When Angelina asked if you were coming to Quidditch practice, George answered for you.

“Sorry, love, we’ve got plans, don’t we?” He turned to you, eyes glinting with mischief.

You sighed dramatically. “Oh yes, a terribly romantic evening of watching you test new joke products on first-years.”

Angelina’s jaw dropped. “You two are serious, aren’t you?”

“Deadly,” George said solemnly.

Keeping a straight face had never been so difficult.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

It wasn’t until the night of a Gryffindor common room party that the whole thing nearly came undone.

Fred had challenged you to a game of Exploding Snap, and George had settled beside you, watching with amusement. The room was loud, filled with laughter and the occasional bang from the game. At some point, you and George had gotten into a debate about who could pull off the best prank.

“Admit it,” you teased, nudging him. “I had Filch convinced his cat was talking to him for a solid hour.”

George snorted. “That was good, but remember when we switched Snape’s tea for Pepperup Potion? I swear, I’ve never seen someone’s ears steam like that.”

The two of you erupted into laughter, doubled over, tears in your eyes. The kind of laughter that made your ribs ache and your stomach hurt.

“I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this,” you gasped between breaths.

George wiped at his eyes, grinning. “Me neither, love.”

It was then you realized how closely everyone was watching. Fred and Lee exchanged glances. Angelina raised an eyebrow.

You and George looked at each other. And then, at the same time, burst out laughing again.

“Alright, alright,” George said, raising his hands in surrender. “We’re not actually dating.”

The room fell silent for half a second before it erupted into groans and exasperated sighs.

“I knew it!” Fred threw a pillow at George. “You absolute gits.”

“You mean I wasted two galleons betting on you?” Lee complained.

“Honestly, I’m more disappointed than surprised,” Angelina muttered.

You and George just grinned at each other. Maybe you weren’t dating. But the joke? That had been absolutely worth it.

[unforth]

How did it feel to go from the 80’s to the explosion of acceptance around the 2010’s? In terms of being queer?

hm, interesting question. First, a couple disclaimers: I am not an expert in queer history, I was not involved in queer activism in anyway growing up, and no one in my family was queer. I was born in 1982 and am currently 42, and my mother had a lot of gay friends, but she intentionally sheltered us (my brother and I) from a lot of that once they all started dying from AIDs. For my own queerness, I worked through a lot of identities because I was an extremely confused asexual who didn't actually learn that asexuality existed until I was 30; I'm afab and was already married to a woman before I realized I was ace (I now ID as aroace, agender.).

All that said, I grew up in New York City, in a very accepting city and with a very accepting family. I knew queer people from a young age and my mom was sick of watching her friends die and got involved as she could (she was a New York City public school high school teacher; a lot of queers gravitated toward public schools because it was a stable job with decent pay and no one would care if they weren't married, in fact it was often considered a plus in the 60s and 70s for teachers to be single, and when mom got pregnant with my brother in 1976 she says multiple other teachers pressured her to quit because okay fine she was married and a teacher, but married and a teacher WITH KIDS? Appalling. needless to say she didn't quit.)

Anyway. Sorry. I lost the thread.

Honestly, the answer to this question is: utterly unbelievable.

If you had told 1990s about-to-start-high-school me that this is where we'd be in my lifetime I'd have thought you were out of your goddamn mind. I was obsessed with To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar. I'd walked in AIDs walk and raised money with my mom every year starting in 1990. Mom and I saw the original off-Broadway production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch and the original Broadway production of Rent. I was about as in-the-loop and accepting as a kid in that era could be, and I spent my college years thinking I was bi (I feel the same about everyone! that's bi, right? lmao, so young and clueless). And I never, never thought that nationwide gay marriage was even in the cards. I never dreamed that trans people would be able to live as openly as they do now. I didn't even really think we could do much about AIDs beyond slowing the spread.

I am only 42. I don't even consider myself middle-aged yet (though I'm definitely getting close to that particular tipping point). I grew up with my mom's even older stories, about being friends with the gay men at Cornell when she was in college in the early 60s, and her discussions of how far things had come in HER life (she's 80 now) and yet I was the one who pointed out that my great uncle, who died before I was born, was clearly mostly definitely bi and maybe gay (the look on her face when I said that and she realized I must be right. I keep meaning to post some of Natie's photographs.)

When my wife and I got married in 2013 we planned where to live, where we could travel, where we'd have kids, all around where it would be safe. My wife has health problems; if we traveled and something happened to her, we had to be sure that we were in a state where they would recognize our marriage and let me visit her, or else we wouldn't go there.

Sorry. I'm not holding the thread of narrative in this post well, I've been pretty sick with strep throat and my brain is just refusing to make this very coherent, and also it's just... so much. The amount I've seen, how far we've come, since I was a kid, is so fucking much.

I still sometimes don't believe how far we've come, nor how quickly we've done it.

And that's exactly why conservatives are shaking in their boots. These trends challenge all the things they believe true about the nature of authority and societal control. If they let up for an instant, then they'll have to accept that cis hetero white christian men actually have never been any better than anyone else, and their whole worlds will crumble, and that scares them to death because they're also old, most older than I, and they remember exactly what every queer person when I was a kid lived with. They remember Matthew Shepard, and all the hate crimes that the queer community survived, they remembered all the slurs that we've strived to reclaim and how they were used such that we had to reclaim them, and they really think that equality is a demotion for them, and that true equality would mean they're subject to the same things they've subjected us to, and that terrifies them.

Ugh, sorry, rambling again.

What I think about the changes is that they're fucking amazing, and that if I could somehow convince 13-year-old me that any of this would happen, she'd have sobbed with joy. Especially about the asexual part lmao.

We're in a down-swing of acceptance now, but the pendulum still won't go back to where we were during the AIDs crisis, much less back to where things were a hundred years ago.

We've come so far.

We're not going back.

[youcouldmakealife]

Stuff That Helps Me Write: Procrastination Busting (Novelty Edition)

So, last week I was talking about the interest based nervous system versus the importance based nervous system, and how people with interest based nervous systems are driven by urgency, novelty, challenge/competition, and interest, versus the more common importance based nervous system, which is driven by importance (to yourself or to others), rewards, and consequences.

I don’t know whether ADHD or autism has a larger impact on my life — they often impact different areas, and they frequently compensate for one another in the areas they do overlap, when they aren't forming an unlikely alliance hellbent on my destruction. But my writing process is 100% run by ADHD. So because these tips are the ones that work for me, and my writing process is, top to bottom, ADHD as fuck, they’re probably going to be pretty heavily slanted toward ADHD peeps, though of course YMMV.

Tackling novelty first, because, well, of course I am. This can also appear as ‘novelty/creativity’, but honestly, I think that’s a little redundant: doing, say, a creative version of a task is simply injecting novelty, and I think novelty is a much easier concept to understand for most people than creativity is. Novelty can be boiled down to single words we learn the meaning of at a young age (new! Different!), whereas creativity has fifteen different definitions, every single one of which might spark debate. So for our purposes, I’m sticking with just novelty.

Here are some ways I inject novelty into my writing process:

Roll the dice.

This doesn’t have to be dice, though the 20-sided ones are absolutely great for this. You can use decks of cards, random number generators, slips of paper, whatever — one of the best ways to make yourself do a bunch of shit you don’t actually want to is to attach those tasks to numbers (or colours, or suits, or whatever), and let fate decide. This can work in a lot of ways: you assign each task to a number, say, or you roll the dice on how long you have to work on it, or what order you’re doing them in, or whatever. I tend to be much more chill about doing a task when The Dice are the ones telling me to do it. It’s stupid. It works.

Roll the dice (pt 2)

This is also a fun way to create prompts: say each number is a character. You roll the dice: okay, I’ll write about David. Now I’ve associated the dice with a word, or a concept, or whatever. Okay, David and touch. Insta-prompt, no creative thinking required.

Prompts

Speaking of prompts and lack of creativity: I have tricked you all. Oh ho ho. You think you are getting a fill to a prompt you want to see (and, admittedly, you are, as long as I haven’t wandered off course, which cannot be guaranteed), but in return I am getting writing ideas without actually needing to have them! I don’t think I would be able to write 100+ stories a year if I had to think up every single idea myself, but if you outsource the creativity — well, win-win. Someone gets their prompt filled, and I get the spark of inspiration I need to fuel my writing.

Obviously this one needs to be adapted just a bit for other scenarios, but you can gather inspiring things (lines from books, poetry, lyrics, whatever) for future inspiration, you can look for online writing prompts or tell yourself you’ll write to fill a category (senses, say, or seasons, or elements, etc etc). Basically, if you don’t know what to do, forcing yourself to respond to a prompt, or follow a theme, often provides just enough constraints for creativity to happen.

When you’re stuck, move on to something else

It’s very common productivity advice to focus on just one thing and do it start to finish before you move on to the next. Don’t do it.* It’s a trap.

I do agree with the ‘one task only’ advice inasmuch as multi-tasking… doesn’t actually exist (if we’re talking something like ‘writing and listening to music’, or ‘doodling during a lecture’, that can go great, but that’s not really multitasking, so much as adding complementary stimulation. If you’re trying to, say, write an essay during a lecture, at least one (and probably both) of those tasks will suffer.) but beyond that, no.

It’s probably great advice if you’re neurotypical but I genuinely cannot think of a worse suggestion for anyone with low frustration tolerance and fucky dopamine. I hit an obstacle in that ‘just one thing’ I am doing? Cool, great, guess it’s time to stop doing it forever.

If you’re working on several different things (especially if those things use different skills and/or headspaces), when you get stuck on one, you can pivot to work on something else and let your subconscious do all that cool underrated stuff in the background, and maybe when you return to it you’ll have figured out a way around whatever your obstacle is. And even if you haven’t, at least your frustration tolerance will have been reset.

If the project you’re doing isn’t working for whatever reason, especially if you’re growing frustrated (nothing good ever follows after the point you snap at your blameless computer), do something else, and come back to it when you’re in a better headspace. Some things you have to muscle through for various reasons: say, you procrastinated on it and it’s due tomorrow. But most things you don’t. So don’t.

*I’ll straight up say I can ‘do just one thing’ for longer periods with less stress now that I’ve been medicated, but it was an awful, painful process when I wasn’t, so I still don’t really recommend it for those who have fucky dopamine.

Do! Multiple! Projects!

Yes, this can bring us to the ‘start 17 projects and finish none, don't you dare look at my WIP folder’ ADHD trap, but there’s a pretty good place between extremes. The main reason I work on multiple series at a time (plus outtakes!) is so that if I’m stuck on one, or it’s not inspiring me, or I’m just not in the right mood, I don’t have to stare at my blank screen feeling like a complete failure, I can just scoot on over to work on something else that's calling to me. Do I always do the most important thing? Or the one that’s due next? Or even the one I want to work on? Perhaps not, but I do spend the vast majority of my writing time actually writing, which is more than a lot of people can say.

It helps to have projects in different areas of your life and different stages of completion, for extra variety (and therefore novelty), just beware the ‘I have 5% left of this project to do, shouldn’t take more than 7 years’. When you do reach that final stage, that is when it’s a good idea to get laser focused on ‘just one thing’.**

**Big caveat with the above tips on NOT focusing on 'just one thing' is that I’m specifically referring to ‘typical’ tasks, not hyperfocus. If you’re hyperfocusing on something, and it’s not hurting you (ie keeping you from feeding yourself, basic self-care, sleeping, genuine obligations, etc), you ride that high as far as it takes you, baby. The ability get 5 days of work done in 5 laser focused hours would cost a fortune if they could replicate it, by all means use it to your advantage. But you do need to rest and recharge after: it drains the hell out of your mental resources and cannot be depended on indefinitely. It’s the very best tool in my toolbox. If I use it without allowing myself to recharge I will lose access to it indefinitely.

Change something about the process

It doesn’t need to be a big thing. I can switch from using my laptop to writing by hand. Or write in my bedroom rather than my office. A lot of my internal resistance to tasks is ‘this is boring’ — I’m lucky that doesn’t often happen with writing, because it’s inherently interesting to me, but sometimes you’re just stuck, and a change of scenery, of tools and equipment, of context (say, go write the POV of another character if you're stuck on a scene) is enough to shake the blah. I’m going to go into that in a lot more detail when I hit ‘interest’ and ‘challenge’ because those are both great things to inject when things have gone stale, but a lot of the time, it doesn’t matter what the change is: the fact there was a change is enough.

[toorusmoon]

★ chasing stars, finding you ;

── 2.0k words, iwaizumi writes a love letter to oikawa

hey shitty-kawa,

you know i’ve never been great with words, right? you’ve probably known that better than anyone. but here i am, trying anyway because if there’s one person who deserves to hear all of this, it’s you. i don’t know if i’ll get this exactly right, but screw it—i’m just gonna say what i need to say, even if it comes out messy.

remember that camping trip when we were six? our parents took us to the mountains because you insisted that the only thing you wanted for your birthday was to “see the stars with iwa-chan.” honestly, i didn’t get why you’d ask for something like that instead of, y’know, a normal kid’s gift like a toy or whatever. i was just excited about roasting marshmallows and staying up late. but you—you were different. even back then, you were always staring up at the sky, fascinated by things most kids wouldn’t even notice.

in the middle of the night, you woke me up. whispering in my ear like something urgent was happening, and i thought for sure we were about to be mauled by a bear or something. but no, you dragged me out of the tent barefoot, half-asleep, just so we could look at the stars. “look at the sky, iwa-chan!” you said like it was the most incredible thing ever. you said every constellation that looked pointy was me because it matched my hair.

i was cold and annoyed, but i still remember standing there, looking at you more than the sky. you were glowing under all those stars, and even though i didn’t understand it then, something changed in me. it hit me way later—like years later—that that might’ve been the first time i fell for you. and i guess i never really stopped falling.

you’ve always been the color in my life, tooru. i’m not just saying that because it sounds poetic or romantic. it’s true. you’ve got this way of making everything brighter, sharper, more alive. even when things get tough, when life feels dull or overwhelming, you somehow make it all seem worth it. you’ve been doing that for as long as i can remember, and i didn’t even realize it until recently.

you are my strength. you always have been. but you’re also my greatest weakness. you’re the only one who can break through every wall i put up, the only one who can make me feel so completely out of control and perfectly grounded all at once. and the truth is, i don’t ever want to be without you. my heart belongs to you, and it always has.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’ve loved you my whole life. i just didn’t know it until i saw you under that starry sky, and even then, it took me years to understand. but now i know. i know that my heart has always been yours and that i’ve always wanted to be the one standing beside you, no matter where life takes us.

iwaizumi and oikawa. hajime and tooru. together, they mean dauntless. and that’s what we’ve been, haven’t we? no matter what the world throws at us, we keep going. we keep standing by each other. you make me dauntless, tooru. you make me believe i can do anything, face anything, as long as you’re with me.

i’ve been thinking a lot about the little things lately—the things that made me fall in love with you over and over again, through every stage of our lives. it’s funny how love works, isn’t it? it’s not always about one big moment, but about a thousand small ones that pile up until you can’t ignore what they mean.

in middle school, i fell in love with your stubbornness. you were always so determined, and relentless in chasing what you wanted. whether it was a perfect serve or a new strategy, you wouldn’t stop until you nailed it. i didn’t realize it then, but watching you throw your whole heart into everything you did made me want to do the same. you inspired me without even trying, and i think that’s when my heart started to understand what you meant to me.

high school was different. we grew up a lot during those years, and faced more challenges, both on and off the court. and yet, through all of it, you never lost that spark. you never stopped dreaming, even when things got tough. i remember those late-night practices, the times when you’d stay behind to perfect every move and i would have to drag you out of the court so you didn’t injure yourself like an idiot. i remember the frustration in your eyes when things didn’t go your way, and how, no matter what, you always got back up. i think i fell in love with your resilience then, with the way you never gave up, no matter how hard life pushed you down.

but it wasn’t just your strength that got to me. it was the quiet moments, too. the way you’d rest your head on my shoulder when you were too tired to keep going, the way you trusted me to be there for you when you needed someone. those moments made me realize that loving you wasn’t something i could turn on or off. it was just a part of who i was, as natural as breathing.

then came argentina.

god, tooru, those years were hard. you were on the other side of the world, and yet, somehow, you never felt far away. we found ways to stay connected, even with an ocean between us. late-night calls, messages sent across time zones, video chats that sometimes cut out but always left me feeling like you were right there. even when we were apart, you were still my home. you always have been.

i think i fell in love with your courage then. your bravery in chasing your dreams, even when it meant leaving everything familiar behind. and i also fell in love with the way you made me brave enough to wait. you gave me the strength to believe that no matter how far apart we were, we’d find our way back to each other. and we did.

when you came home after retiring, i didn’t know what to expect. would things be different? would we be different? but the moment i saw you again, i knew. nothing had changed, not where it mattered. you smiled at me, and it felt like no time had passed at all. i fell in love with your smile all over again, with the way it made everything feel right like we’d finally come back to where we belonged.

we’ve been through everything. childhood, growing up, chasing dreams, being separated by oceans—and yet, here we are. we’ve always found home in each other, no matter where life took us. and now, i know i never want to be anywhere else. you are my home, my beginning, and my end, the one constant in a life that’s always changing.

through every stage of our lives, i’ve loved you in different ways, for different reasons. and i’ll keep loving you, through every stage to come.

it’s funny how you can live your whole life beside someone and not realize that they’re exactly what you need until one day, it just clicks. and with you, it clicked so completely that nothing else has made sense since.

i fell in love with the way you always hum to yourself when you’re thinking. it’s like your mind is always moving faster than the rest of us can keep up with, and that little melody is your way of keeping track of it all. i fell in love with the way you drink your coffee—so sickly sweet. i fell in love with how you can’t sit still for too long, always tapping your fingers or bouncing your leg, as if you’ve got too much energy to contain.

and god, tooru, i fell in love with your smile. not just the big, showy one you give to the world, but the quiet one. the one you wear when you’re happy in a way that doesn’t need to be announced. the one you give me when it’s just us, like it’s a secret meant only for me. that smile makes everything feel right, even when the world is falling apart.

you’ve always been everything i wanted without me even knowing it. i thought i needed someone steady, someone predictable, someone who could balance out my rough edges. but you—you’re the opposite of predictable. you’re chaos and brilliance and dreams all rolled into one, and somehow, that’s exactly what i needed. you’ve never let me stay in my comfort zone for long. you push me, challenge me, make me better. you’ve always been the one to remind me that life isn’t meant to be lived standing still.

having you in my life is the only thing that’s ever made sense. when everything else feels confusing or overwhelming, when the world feels too big or too uncertain, you’re the one thing i can hold onto. you ground me without ever weighing me down. you’re my constant in a life that’s always changing, my balance in a world that never stops spinning.

it’s in the little things you do. the way you wrinkle your nose when something surprises you, the way you tilt your head when you’re trying to understand something, the way you laugh when you’re truly, genuinely happy. those little things make up the person i’ve loved all my life, even before i knew how to name it.

you’ve always been my north star. my compass. the one constant that i can look to, no matter where i am or what’s happening around me, and know exactly where i stand.

when life feels like a storm, i find myself looking for you. because no matter what, you’re always there, shining just bright enough to guide me back. you’re the light i follow when i’m lost, the direction i trust when nothing else feels certain. and you’ve never let me down. not once.

you’ve always been my home, tooru. not in the sense of a place or a building, but something deeper. home is where i feel safe, where i can be myself without fear or hesitation. and that’s you. you’re where i belong, where i always want to come back to, no matter how far i wander.

even when we were thousands of miles apart, with oceans and time zones between us, you still felt like home. it didn’t matter how many hours or days passed before we could talk—i could hear your voice, and suddenly, everything made sense again. you’ve always had that effect on me. you center me, calm me, and make me feel like i can take on the world, as long as you’re by my side.

i don’t know if you realize it, but you’ve been guiding me my whole life. from the moment you dragged me out of that tent when we were six, you’ve been leading me toward something brighter, something bigger than myself. and i’ve followed willingly because i knew, even back then, that wherever you led, it would be somewhere worth going.

i’ve always been the steady one, the one people count on to stay grounded. but you… you’re the one who gives me a reason to stay steady. you’re the one who makes every step forward feel worth it. you’re my compass, tooru. without you, i’d be lost. with you, i know exactly where i’m meant to be.

and where i’m meant to be is with you. always.

no matter where life takes us, no matter how far apart we may find ourselves in the future, i’ll always find my way back to you. because you’re my north star, my home, my everything.

love,

your iwa-chan

★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★

p.s. tinny says stop calling me porcupine head

[ninja-muse]

As you can tell, my plan to acquire only two books this month went perfectly. No notes. 😰 On the upside, four of these I did not pay for and only one of them was full price, so it’s like I saved money.

I really do need to get better at reading off my physical TBR though. I’ve started a Storygraph challenge for myself, so we’ll see how that goes.

July started with a bookish bang: there was the planned bookstore visit (three books bought, not two, but I unhauled ten and used my credit), and then my dad came down so we could marathon the local Shakespeare festival, which was great! And somehow not the Shakespeare overdose I was worried about, and they nailed the play we were worried they weren’t going to.

After that, it’s been business as usual. I feel like I’m behind in my reading because Malady of the Mind took so long to get through, but honestly, I suspect I’m not because I’ve been blowing through lighter fiction on the side. The library’s finally getting April releases into circulation though, so I’ve had physical reads from them again. (Which will totally help my physical TBR goals, I know.) Very much looking forward to The Library Thief, which I picked up this week.

The only other noteworthy thing of the month is I discovered my library has an ebook of Rose/House by Arkady Martine! Except it’s in French, so it’s been taking me a bit to get through. I might not even get it done before it’s due back, but if so I’ll just check it out again because it is good, just … in French.

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

Malady of the Mind - Jeffery A. Lieberman

A history of schizophrenia, with a hopeful ending.

10/10

warning: detailed descriptions of the symptoms of schizophrenia and past and present medical and societal treatments of the mentally ill

reading copy

The Reappearance of Rachel Price - Holly Jackson

Bel’s participating in a documentary about the disappearance of her mother sixteen years ago when her mom walks back in the door. Now nothing is okay.

8.5/10

Black British secondary character

warning: kidnapping, gaslighting, psychological abuse

library ebook

The Pairing - Casey McQuiston

Theo is over Kit. Four years over, which means there’s enough distance to take their dream European food tour solo and close the book. Except Kit had the same idea. Out in August.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonists (bi man, bi enby), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary and incidental characters (sapphic, achillean), 🏳️‍🌈 author

reading copy

Dear Wendy - Ann Zhao

Two aroace teens start competing college advice columns. Professionally they’re rivals. Unknowingly, they’re becoming friends.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonists (aroace), Chinese-American protagonist, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, bi, demisexual), Indian-American secondary character, Black secondary character, Latin secondary character, Chinese-American author, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: aceophobia

library book

Goodnight Tokyo - Atsuhiro Yoshida

Interwoven stories about nighttime life in Tokyo. A prop procurer seeks the perfect items, a crack detective seeks his father’s films, a diner owner seeks a past customer, and more.

7/10

Japanese cast, Japanese author

reading copy

Peking Duck and Cover - Vivien Chien

Lana’s helping run the Chinese New Year celebrations at Asia Village and everything’s going great—until someone kills a lion dancer.

7/10

Taiwanese-American protagonist, largely Chinese-American cast, Taiwanese-American author

warning: gun violence

borrowed from work

The Tomb of the Mili Mongga - Samuel Turvey

A conservationist seeking fossils in Indonesia is sidetracked by a local legend of a giant wild man, and along the way muses on extinction, human cultures, folklore, and our place in the world.

7.5/10

Indonesian secondary characters

library book

My Love in Stitches, Vol. 1 - Emily Gossmann

Frankie’s trying to get her life together when she meets Momo, but dating her is going to be hard. First, she needs a job, and also their friends are dead set on keeping them apart….

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonists (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 author, 🇨🇦

kickstarted/off my TBR

The Dishonest Miss Take - Faye Murphy

Desperate to clear her name after a murder she didn't commit, a superpowered former villain stumbles onto a mystery—and a curious assassin. Out in September.

5.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic)

digital reading copy/won

Picture Books

It’s Raining Bats & Frogs - Rebecca Colby

The witch parade is in danger of being rained out but one young witch has the solution. Or does she?

Scorch, Hedgehog of Doom - Cate Berry

Scorch is going to be the biggest, baddest hedgehog ever, no matter what.

Into the Goblin Market - Vikki VanSickle

Two sisters live near the goblin market. When one seeks out its temptations, the other follows to save her.

Reread

Timeline - Michael Crichton

In the late 1990s, a tech company finds a way to send people to the Hundred Years’ War. Immediately, things go wrong.

7/10

warning: misogyny, attempted sexual violence

library ebook

Currently reading

A Gentleman from Japan - Thomas Lockley

The true story of a Japanese man who found himself at the court of Elizabeth I.

warning: slavery, orientalism

library book

Rose/House - Arkady Martine

There is a body within Rose House—two, if you count its architect, who ordered the house shuttered with his passing and left to its AI. Only one person is allowed to enter now, and she’s accounted for. And yet there is a body within Rose House….

library ebook

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 9 + 1 + 3 Yearly total: 68 Queer books: 4 Authors of colour: 3 Books by women: 5 Authors outside the binary: 1 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 1 Books hauled: 11 ARCs acquired: 4 ARCs unhauled: 4 DNFs: 0

January February March April May June

[shapeshiftersvt]

M'Mothm'n.

Here's the thing about the Mothman. Even though he scared the ever-living shit out of the people who saw him, the speculation around him has become, over the years, actually very kind. What if he's only here to help? What if he's trying to warn us about impending disaster? What if that horrible feeling you got that something wasn't right, what if that was the Mothman telling you to look out, be careful, danger is coming, doom is nigh?

It's one thing to be a harbinger of doom; there are apparitions of ghostly black dogs all over the world that will give you that, red eyes and all. It's another to have one who actually means well.

I'm going to be an Old Queer for a minute, now, and talk about gay politics in the USA as I watched it over the past thirty years. My experience is my own; my history is shared, but not universal. Sound off in a reblog if you saw it happen differently. I want your story, too.

There’s a certain line the right wing in this country likes to use against The Gays, one I’ve heard since I was a small child. It goes: queer people are threatening our way of life. Queer people are the pebbles that start the avalanche of apocalypse, the collapse of civilization as we know it. If marriage becomes something other than Man + Woman, or if Man and Woman become something other than we think they are, then we will lose everything we know and love.

The rise of the Respectable Gay in the 1990s was a pushback against this. “See,” cried Degeneres and Savage and all the rest, “see how we’re so very normal? We want to get married and buy a house and have 2.1 kids and a white picket fence. Our marriage doesn’t threaten yours. How could it? We’re just normal, ordinary, white, moderately wealthy, people. We're like you."

This move shifted the narrative across the 90s and 00s. Homosexuality was officially decriminalized in '03, and we got gay marriage in 2015, and every year in between there was another Influential Gay Person saying "I just want to get married, that's all." There were even commercials about it, remember? “Gay marriage is just like yours. Only gayer.”

But... in the mid-2010s this was already wearing thin. Transgender people, gender non-conforming people, gays who didn’t go in for two-person marriage, everyone in the greater LGBTQ+ umbrella who had thrown their support behind gay marriage and waited our turn to get our rights; we'd all been mobilizing, too. We'd been putting together our own coalitions, under the aegis of the greater umbrella or not. And, here's the crux: we were, in fact, threatening the right-wing Christian ways of life. Just by existing in public, by talking and writing and performing and living our lives during the Transgender Tipping Point, trans and non-binary people like me were challenging the foundational definitions of Man and Woman as exclusive, all-encompassing categories of humanity.

It wasn't just the right, either. Straight liberals who were totally on board with gay marriage would look at us and say, "um, wait, really? Really, like that? Do you have to?" The discomfort was palpable. This was my experience with my own family; they were fine with me dating and getting married, but a new set of pronouns was forcing something on them. It was hurting something intrinsic to their identities. It was, in a very real way, threatening them.

I'm happy and grateful to say that most of them learned to discard the parts of their own foundations that excluded me from existence. This is rarely easy for anyone. I'm honestly proud of those members of my family who have learned to look the Mothman in the eyes, so to speak, and think, "He's just here to help."

("Pop your hood up," I told this model, "and look at them. They should see their impending death in your eyes."

Layton is an incredible model, a great human, and they know and love the Mothman. They knew exactly what I meant.)

It can be awful, sometimes. When I'm unapologetically myself in public, I can walk past a line of protesters at Planned Parenthood and see the hostility rise up, the anger and revulsion and fear. And I do think it is fear, at the core of it. I think something in them knows that I'm just one of 2.6 million transgender people out here, living my life, casually being a harbinger of their doom.

Next time they come to Brattleboro, I ought to greet them with red glasses and a twelve-foot wingspan.

[ebodebo]

OKAY! New ask!! Alex and Y/N get bored at their recon outpost and decide to see who can complete their workout track faster. (think like the ones they have at boot camps but low quality bc they’re in the middle of a war zone) whoever won got to shower first bc water is limited but it gets a lil steamy at the end🤭

The Great Race

NSFW CONTENT

—alex keller x f!reader

—1.4k+

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You and Alex were stationed in a recon outpost in Siberia, where the task force was sent to infiltrate Makarov's convoy. You were stationed there to be lookouts, though there were relativity no people around, causing you both to become increasingly bored. 

As Alex was wiping his gun clean, he noticed a workout track off to the side of where they were. Well, a track is an overstatement. It was a simple dirt track that looked like it had not been used for years. "You see that track over there?" He questions, pausing on cleaning to look up at you. 

You nod your head, not paying too much attention to him. He notices your disregard for his question and decides to say something that will pique your interest. "I would run circles around you on that track."

Your eyes dart up to meet his. "No, you couldn't, Keller." He shrugs. "I know I could." He states as he wipes his gun clean, a slight, knowing smirk forms on his lips.

You swivel your head towards him. "Keller, you are probably the slowest soldier I have ever seen." He rolls his eyes. "Mhm. Sure."

"You are!" You laugh, still looking at him. "Do you honestly think you could beat me?" You ask, sounding baffled. 

"I already said I could."

You purse your lips, looking over at the track. "Let's test it then." He cocks a brow as he stops cleaning. "Seriously?" You smile at him. "Scared, Keller?" He narrows his eyes. "Never." He turns his head to asses the track again. "Fine. I'll humor you."

You both make your way down the ladder of the outpost and head over to the dirt track.

"Ok. We'll do a mile. Four laps around-"

"I know how many laps a mile is." He interrupts.

You continue, paying no mind to his interruption. "And the first person to finish gets to..." You ponder a suitable prize. "Shower first." 

He nods, pleased with the prize. "Sound good?" You ask. "That shower is going to feel so good." You glance at him. "Right. Like you're going to be the one to cash it in." You point out. "I'll count to three; then we'll go."

"1..." 

"2..."

"Hey, what's that over there?" You look behind him, your eyes widening. Alex is quick to spin around. "Where?" His voice is plagued with confusion. 

"3.." You bolt as you end the countdown. Keller is still at the starting line. He spins around. "God damn it." He grits as he starts to run. 

Both of you are fast. Very fast. After the first lap, you were leading, though Keller was hot on your trail. 

You had been teasing him about being behind you until the third lap started, and he jets past you. "Fuck." You mutter to yourself, attempting to speed past him. 

The fourth and final lap proved to be incredibly challenging. You were both creeping up on the other. If Keller was in front, you were just a little behind. If he was in front, you were on his heels. 

When the finish line was in view, you dashed to pass him. You were both neck and neck. Then, without realizing it, you both crossed the line simultaneously. 

"You cheated, and we still tied." He remarked, his breath sounding labored. "I did not cheat. You need to learn to pay attention." You counter, also out of breath. He smirked. "Oh, is that right?" You nodded. "Yes. You had your head in clouds." He rolled his eyes you. "Mhm." He replied.

Once you both took a second to recuperate, you remembered the prize. "So, who gets to shower first?" You remind him. He ponders the idea. "Well. I guess since we both won, we both get to shower." Your eyes widen. He lets out a soft chuckle. "Not like that. We can face opposite ways." He continues. "Don't you want a hot shower?" You close your eyes, contemplating, eventually caving. "Fine. But, if you look at me-" He snickered. "Wouldn't dream of it, shortcake." He quipped.

You both went to the shower and you began to strip out of your clothes. "Turn around." You remind him. He obliges and starts undressing himself.

"Close your eyes."

"Then I won't be able to see."

"Why would you want to see me-"

"The shower. I won't be able to see where the shower is."

Your face turns pink. "Right." He cackles at your evident embarrassment. 

"I won't look at you. Just go in." You hesitate only momentarily and make your way into the hot, steamy shower. He amends his early sentiment and doesn't look at you as he makes his way in, facing in the opposite direction, your backs to each other.

Although you can try to deny it, Alex Keller is so attractive. You salivate at the thought of his naked body so close to yours. His cock is only mere inches from you.

As he washes his body, you feel the slight graze of his hands on your ass; you slightly moan at the interaction, causing your face to turn red. "Oh my god.." You say, stumbling over your words because you were embarrassed. "I'm sorry..oh my..this is so fucking embarrassing." You attempt to make your way out of the shower, but before you can take one step, Alex grabs your arm, his body now facing yours.

He didn't say a word, nor did you—both of you breathing heavily before he finally broke the silence.

"Can I-" He begins to question before you cut him off quickly.

"Please." You beg.

With that, you two are entangled. His rough hands find their way to the back of your head, his fingers threading through your hair as he roughly kisses you. You maneuver your hands around his neck, bringing him closer to deepen the kiss.

"Fuck." He groans into your mouth as he notices his quickly hardening cock touching your stomach. You gently bring your hand up so it's now gripping him. He grunts at your touch, taking one of his hands from your head and moving it lower so it's cupping your breast. You throw your head back as his finger rubs your sensitive nipple. This incentivizes you to begin pumping his cock, though he is quick to pull your hand off. You give him a confused expression, and he dips his head into the crook of your neck to leave wet, sloppily kisses. 

"I'll come too fast." You laugh at his honesty, before you grab his head from your neck, and reconnect your lips with his. You gently pull back for a moment, your lips still hovering over his.

"This doesn't mean anything." You breathlessly say.

"No?" He bends down, whispering against your neck, as his fingers linger down your body, grazing your wet cunt. "Sure. Maybe it doesn't mean you like me, but I know you like my fingers..." He slips two inside you, soliciting a moan from you, causing a cocky grin to spread across his face. 

"I like a lot of guys' fingers." You continue, your voice sounding like gravel. "You're not special."

"Do you now?" He moves his fingers up and down your throbbing clit. "But, do they all get you this wet?" He whispers into your ear, referring to your dripping arousal. You shamelessly ground against his fingers. He takes your movements and silence as an answer.

"Didn't think so." He remarks as he hungrily catches your lips with his and pushes his fingers back into you. You whine into his mouth at the contact and instantly thread your fingers back through his hair. 

He continues pumping his fingers in and out of your cunt. "So fuckin' wet and tight fer'me." He mutters into your mouth. "Gonna make you come so hard. All over my fingers." He quickened his pace. "You have such a dirty mouth." You breathe out. "You fuckin' love it." He mumbles.

You can feel your peak nearing. "Gonna.." He quickly cuts you off. "When you come, say my name." 

"Kel..-" You begin. "Not fucking Keller. My name." He grits. 

"Alex." You loudly moan as you come, your legs shaking and your heart racing.

He holds you as your orgasm subsides, and then he sets you down gently. 

"Would you wash my hair?" He asks earnestly.

"No. I'm not touching you." You say as you regain your breath. 

"I just gave you an orgasm with my fingers, and you won't wash my hair?" He remarked. "Might I add, you we trynna give me a hand job earlier?"

"Fuck off." You say, as a small smile forms on your lips.

reblogs & comments are encouraged!

[acaplaya-musings]

Geoff Castellucci Carol Of The Bells - thoughts/commentary

Excuse me while I go pick my jaw up from the floor because like MY GOD????

So yeah Peter Hollens' cover has been definitely dethroned in my mind! Geoff has done it again! This feels like the spiritual successor to his God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen cover and I love it so much!

Okay so the thing is that this dropped to Patreon late in the morning last Sunday for me (the day after Zat You Santa Claus appeared on VP's Patreon), when I was about to go out shopping with my mum, so I barely had just enough time to watch it (there was no way I could wait when I saw what the song was!), and thus didn't start typing stuff up until I returned home from shopping (yes, my premiere post was actually typed up after I had already watched the video, but it was still true of my thoughts before I had hit play). And then after I got home, I had other new videos to watch, a Christmas tree to decorate, a dog to walk, etc, and basically it's now nighttime, roughly 10 hours later, that I'm able to watch it for a second time. So I'm gonna do what I did with VoicePlay's Christmas upload, and rewatch it on my laptop while pausing to type up notes on my phone, so I don't forget to mention anything. (And I won't be doing Voiceplay-adjacent visuals for this one, so I'll have thoughts on the video itself here as well).

Review/commentary below the cut!

Love the beginning with the audible crackling from the fireplace! Really helps start to set the mood/vibe right off the bat and draw you in!

One of the Patrons drew attention to the fact that all of the "Geoffs" walk into shot in this one, and actually yeah that's a new thing for Geoff! And I gotta wonder if that was an additional editing challenge for him. It works phenomenally well though - like I didn't even think about it at first really!

Ooh that first piano note with like the background reverb(?) and the strings and stuff, now that sure sets a tone!

Obligatory appreciation for the hair - the grey streak is becoming one of multiple grey "highlights" and I love it. Okay moving on, just had to get that off my chest as per usual!

Oh wow that backing percussion! Almost sounds like a bit of war drums in there? (Seriously, this is basically God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen part 2 and it's THE BEST)

Dang it's close to like a full minute before we get the first proper vocal line (as in proper lyrics rather than humming or stuff) but it doesn't matter because he has me ENTRANCED.

In Geoff's most recent monthly webchat on his Patron, he had told us that there was like a couple or a few good subharmonics in his upcoming song cover, and OH HE WASN'T KIDDING!

"Merry Christmaaaaaaaa..." and that is where my jaw dropped, and basically stayed dropped for most of the rest of the video. SIR!

Okay so like it's a little hard to be sure, due to the heavy reverb effects on the sub (which I personally think was a great addition - makes it more epic!) but like uhhh did he hold that subharmonic for 14 seconds? Like I know he held a B0 sub for 15 seconds in Valhalla Calling, but like still, dude!

And I of course gotta give some love to Tenor!Geoff as well. Geoff is getting so good at using his upper register!

"All seem to say... Throw cares awaaaayyyy..." Case in point! Gosh that was so dang gorgeous!

I honestly wish I had more to say about this cover, because it is phenomenal, but basically I sat through most of that rewatch with a massive grin on my face. That was freaking stunning, and honestly a video I'd be dang tempted to watch year-round, because seriously, wow.

In about half an hour from now, VoicePlay's Zat You Santa Claus? cover will be dropping, and then half an hour after that will be my thoughts/commentary for it! (I swear I had to edit the bottom of both this post and the other one because I predicted Geoff's video to be premiering at some point after VoicePlay's, not before). I'm gonna be doing a couple of posts summarising all the videos we've gotten from both Geoff and VoicePlay this year, because why not, and I'll have them posted at some point before Christmas! Now onto Christmas With VoicePlay!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday Evening all :) Already at ep 3 of this season. Gonna blink and be done with this one ha This is a shorter season cause it was the year Covid really kicked in. Lots of goodies in this one though. Some good Tim analysis to be had and the next as well. Also a Lucy standing up for what’s right and not letting Tim sway her. All good things. Let’s get going.

3x03 La-Fiera

We start the ep with one of my fav non romantic pairings. Tim and Harper. Tim saying how he hates training with the public. Nyla not one to pass up giving him a hard time says ‘Sounds like performance anxiety.’ That there are pills for that now haha. I adore their ribbing each other so much. Comes from a place of genuine respect and liking one another. They’ve come so far I love it sfm.

They’re talking about who’s gonna take the crown at the range. It’s firearm re-qualification day. Now that Angela is a detective she no longer qualifies with patrol. Tim is convinced he will be next in line for the crown. Harper says that’s cute because she’s there LOL Also I am not hating him in that shirt...

Stanton makes a wager with Tim and Nyla. 20 bucks if their boot makes it out on top. Tim doesn't blink before agreeing. He knows Lucy’s top notch abilities. Would put his faith and life honestly in her hands any day. He does this on a daily basis anyways. Might as well make some money off it ha. Harper also agrees to the challenge. (Nyla literally set her twenty on fire betting on Nolan though LOL) Naturally Lucy comes out on top. Grey announces her as Mid-Wilshire's new champ.

Tim is so damn proud he’s beaming. He doesn’t even care that he didn’t win. (for the most part) Only that Lucy did. Also he looks so damn sure of himself when he hears the news. Look at him above. Not even a little surprised she took the top spot. Collects his winnings from Stanton and Nyla. Lucy is adorable with her reaction to winning the top spot. Feeling pretty good right now. The icing on the cake is Tim and Nyla tie for second place behind her. I love this so much.

Tamara comes to see Lucy at work asking for signature on the title of the car. Lucy disregards it at first in total mom mode. Asking why she hasn’t confirmed their appointment with the social worker yet? Tamara says she will be there she promises. Lucy gives in and signs the title. Tim comes up behind her all smiles as Tamara leaves. Asking how the puppy is? Lucy proudly says she’s doing really great. Then outright starts up a work flirt. By teasing him about the gun range.

He rolls his eyes even though we all know he loves it. He can act annoyed all he likes. We know he’s so very proud she won. Instead of saying that he tells her 'Get changed'. Her flirtatious ‘Yes sir.’ as she heads back with a smile. It’s like they don’t even care they’re unreservedly flirting at the front desk. For all to see. Not even trying to hide it anymore. Makes my heart happy.

We rejoin them in the shop. Lucy is gloating over her new title. Tim can’t let her know how proud he is so instead he deflects. Their competitiveness is one of my favorite things. It’s truly one of their love languages without them even realizing it is. His replies are him being such a sore loser it’s hilarious. He’s half proud but half irritated. Can't let her just think she's amazing. Has to make sure he's "grounding" her with some salty sass.

Their banter is the bedrock of their relationship and moments like this only prove that. Lucy talking to him like no one else ever has or ever will. Tim only lets her talk to him this way. Calling him out for being salty and giving him crap for losing. Then asking for half the money he won off her haha Seems only fair to me. I love them so much. I always enjoy fun playful scenes like this from them. The way she says ‘Wow’ at the end I’m dying. Of course Tim is going to take this moment to puff up his training of her instead of praising her haha Can’t just say he is proud of her nope has to be a salty sore loser instead. God forbid she know he's proud. What a tragedy that would be Timothy.

Before their banter can go any further Tim spots her old car. Looks like someone trying to steal it. They pull over and question the guy immediately. He says he just bought it. Lucy is incensed and stomps over to him. Saying what do you mean just bought it? He tells her he bought it for 4K. Making Lucy even angrier. Not only was her car sold but under its value. (according to her) Tim is enjoying himself a little too much about this. Look at his face during that interaction. He is legit giddy at how upset she is Tamara sold the car.

They apologize and hand him back the title. He continues to struggle with the door. Lucy tells him how he’s supposed to open it and it pops open. He says 'Thanks.' Tim gives the most sarcastic thumbs up ever. I’m laughing so hard. He is enjoying her puppy rebelling already and so quickly after she signed over the title. It’s written all over his body language the entire scene. Such a turd. A hot one but one none the less. Getting a damn kick out of this whole thing. Idk how he can make being a jerk so hot but he does. Well done Eric. Don't ever stop.

We catch them next outside their shop waiting to meet up with Tamara. First off why is Tim so sinfully delicious when he’s leaning against vehicles? What is that? Then he comes to full height like the tall drink of water he is. Phew. Love to climb that man like a tree…*ahem* but I digress.. Tim continues the sass by starting off the scene by saying ‘Bad puppy.’ Why is this also so sexy? He is enjoying himself far too much and not hiding it. Giddy really.

Lucy sees she has new clothes on and is enraged. Opening the convo with ‘You sold my car to buy new clothes?’ Tim can't help himself and adds in ‘And earrings.’ Tamara says it was her car to sell. Lucy is so upset. Going on to say it was to sleep in not to sell. Tamara makes a solid point about going to school with dirty clothes and greasy hair.

Goes on to say 'So yeah she sold it to buy some nice things.' Telling Lucy she just wanted to feel normal for once. Tim steps in and asks where the rest of the money is? She replies that it’s in her college fund. Lucy is still mad. (Hell I would be too) She asks her why she didn’t just say something this morning? That she clearly had a buyer in mind already.

Tamara bites back she would’ve just said no. I mean she’s not wrong. She starts to walk away and Lucy isn’t done yet. Asking were she is staying? Tamara only replies her cousin and doesn’t answer Lucy’s follow up if it’s safe. Tim could not be more smug if he tried. Look at that man. He is basking in how right he was about the consequences of her taking on a puppy. Lucy is so very stressed and panicking about all this. Polar opposites above. Smug Vs Stress.

What I love about this is he isn’t yelling at her, or telling her she was wrong. Just enjoying the moment doing it for him. Crazy as it sounds that is growth for him. Just tells her it’s time to get back to work when a call comes in. Not much else to be done here. Lucy continues to watch Tamara walk away. Sighs and joins him back in the shop.

Tim and Lucy roll up to a hot mess of a situation. They're both getting a real look at the disaster zone that is Doug Stanton. He has Mis-identified a suspect they’re looking for cause well its Stanton. Poor Jackson could not look more stressed. The whole thing is so uncomfortable to watch go down. Makes my anxiety go through the roof seeing how he terrorizes this family.

To see first hand how blatantly racist he’s being. It’s hard to stomach. I just want to clock him. Tim does his best to contain the situation. Pulling Doug aside to cool him down. Telling him their suspect was already caught. This was a bad call and the absolute wrong guy. Tim calls off backup afterwards telling Jackson to let the poor traumatized kid go. With his apologies and a card. That if they want to complain on Stanton they’re well within their right to. (Should sue his ass as much as possible)

We return to them at a college campus. They are there to protect La-Fiera and her son against a credible threat. Someone is there to kill her and Diego her son on their tour. Stanton makes a terrible comment about taking an early lunch. Letting nature take its course instead. Lucy comments on this later when it’s just her and Tim. She is so angry and incensed at this point. She expects Tim to agree with her or at least have a comment of some sort. He doesn’t....

Tim tries to agree without really agreeing with Lucy in his reply above. She doesn’t let it stand nor should she. Lucy is not one to shy away from speaking her mind with Tim. Especially when it comes to something moral like this. Telling Tim he terrorized that family. (He very much did it was awful.)

Then he comes at it again with a complicit non committal answer below once again. Trying to excuse Stanton's behavior by saying it’s cause he’s rough around the edges. Oh Timothy no….there’s a quote by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. I only know this because it comes from one of my all time fav Castle episodes ‘47 seconds’ ‘To sin by silence when we should protest, makes cowards of men.’

By saying he’s rough around the edges is making Tim complicit in his behavior. Thus sinning by silence. Making excuses for his behavior by saying 'It's just the way he is.' 'Nothing to be changed about him.' 'He is who he is.' Lucy doesn’t waste a second before calling him out on it. Proud of my girl. You know I love Tim but he needed to hear this. He was wrong in how he was approaching this.

No one better to call him on it than her. The way she does it is so good too. Straight up saying he’s a racist and Tim saying we can’t know that…but we do my love. She sticks the landing with finishing off with ‘Let’s just make excuses for him....’ Tim is struck by her words below and has no comeback.

Now this next section below isn’t me agreeing with Tim. It’s me analyzing why he is replying the way he is. He does grow from this story arc which I do love so very much. Not just this one but even more so next ep. So to start we have to remember the generation he was taught by and the father he had growing up. You truly are a product of your environment. Your attitude and and POV on life stem from it. Whether you like that or not. Now it’s you who chooses to break the cycle of it 100%. Also by surrounding yourself with better more positive people. i.e. Lucy Chen for him.

I mentioned last ep Tim is the kind to put his head down and grind. That’s how he survived his childhood with an abusive father. Both emotionally and physically. How he survived his time in the service and his own training as a rookie. To him if he can just hunker down and survive it he can make it past it. I think we all have things (if you don’t you’re a lucky human and were blessed with wonderful parents I envy you truly) our parents did or said that didn’t sit right with us as kids. You weren’t sure why but you knew it wasn’t ok. Things that left their mark. That we end up carrying with us into adulthood unconsciously.

I know my parents had quite the list. Things that as I got older and I would repeat or came out involuntarily. Either I realized it or those around me did and would let me know. Even though as an adult I fought against it. Would slip out even if I didn't mean how it came off. Certain thoughts or actions come out and you realize that’s coming from your childhood. Things still come out of us involuntarily and you catch it. Tim sadly doesn't catch it till Lucy calls him on it. I think Tim was taught by ‘rough around the edges’ types and his father most definitely was that before his time as a cop. Before Lucy, Tim was most definitely stuck in his ways.

To Tim it was something you just dealt with and moved on from. You weren’t gonna change them so it was best to just get by. Is that the best attitude to have? No but it’s how he got by. Hence his advice to Jackson in 3x02 because that’s his default gear. From his survival mode from childhood and from his own training experiences. His reply is an outdated one. I don’t even think he knows its coming off the way it is. It’s a reflection of his environment and past experiences on how he was taught to deal with cops like that. Once again not excusing Tim but understanding why he is replying this way.

Now Lucy smacks some sense into him basically saying just because that’s how it was or currently is doesn’t make it right. She’s making Tim face being complicit in excusing Stanton's behavior by saying as such. Won’t let him get away with it. Tim is flat out wrong and no one better to let him know that than Lucy. He's learned from her just because that's the way it is doesn't mean that's the way it should be. i.e. this moment.

The ripple effect of her words reflect in this next scene. Jackson is in Grey’s office telling him about Stanton. He isn't winning Wade over until Tim steps up. Tells Grey that whatever Jackson is telling him he stands with him. Which is huge. I think Lucy made an impact on him. Changes how he was viewing this situation. Now Tim is his own person and doesn’t get swayed easily. But Lucy has massive sway with him. Opened his eyes to this and gave him a different POV on it. Seeing he needed to intervene and not stand on the sidelines anymore. That it was just as egregious to do nothing.

I love the scene when they emerge from Grey’s office. Jackson puts Tim in his place about being complicit about Stanton. Of cops like him in general. That by doing that Tim had given permission to those kinds of cop to continue to operate that way. Once again wishing Titus and Eric had gotten more scenes together. This one is *chef kiss* Tim is very resigned by Jackson’s chewing him out. He knows he was so very wrong in his thinking and agree’s with Jackson on it.

There is no fight in him to defend himself. He knows he wasn't on the right side of this at this point. Tim has been humbled today by all this. He got taken to school by both Lucy and Jackson. He leaves Tim standing there wishing there was more he could do. He got it from both barrels today. Smacking some much needed perspective into his world. Truth hurts but it’s how we learn and grow from it that matters. We see some massive growth next ep for our boy with this.

Tamara comes to see Lucy at the station to apologize. I love love love this scene. Their bond continues to grow in this ending scene. Lucy saying the bit about trust being earned. Tim has rubbed off positively on her as well. She uses that in this situation with Tamara. Asking what she can do to earn that trust?

Tamara shows her the laptop she bought. That her cousin's is safe adjacent but not for her laptop. Lucy is wonderful and says she can keep it here. To check it out every morning so it stays safe. Lucy tells her about the campus she was on today. How Tamara should check it out. She laughs say she can’t go there. Lucy is her sunshine self says there are scholarships. She can help her apply to them.

I know Tim likes to give her a hard time about Tamara and being her puppy, but I think he truly knows the positive impact she will have on her. We’ll get to see that as their relationship grows. I love watching their bond develop. Truly enjoy them so much.

~~~~

That’s it’s for this one. S3 may be short but it’s packed with a lot of content and goodies. No side notes for this one all pretty intertwined.

Thank you to everyone who continually supports these reviews it means so much to me. The likes/comments and reblogs make my soul happy haha shall see you all in 3x04 :)

[its-a-snood-silly]

Wenclair Headcanon 🖤🩷

Wednesday realizes her feelings. Pt. 2

Enid’s POV

I can feel my mouth hanging open, but honestly, I don’t care. THE Wednesday Addams just confessed her feelings for me. My brain feels like it’s spinning with a million thoughts, yet is completely blank all at the same time. My chest feels tight and my cheeks feel hot.

Say something, Enid. Anything.

Why can I not form words right now?

“It would be nice if you could say something right now, Enid.” Wednesday says in a tone that’s way too quiet for her usual demeanor. I’d almost go as far as to say she’s showing some shyness right now.

God, she’s probably feeling totes vulnerable right now, say something you spineless furball!

“I- um… I like you too Wednesday. I have for awhile. I just didn’t ever think you’d feel the same way towards me, so.. I buried it and told myself that I can just work it out with Ajax, but… You’re the only person that truly stays on my mind-“

Really Sinclair, freak-a-zoid much?

“Wait- I uh mean… Um…. I mean, I-“ My palm flies up to my forehead in shame. I can tell I’m nervous from how fast I’m talking. She’s totally going to be weirded out.

“You’re the only thing that stays on my mind as well.” her voice says, her tone a bit more confident this time. I can feel myself blushing. The atmosphere around us feels as though it softens, and just as I sense myself moving closer towards her, the bathroom door flies open. Wednesday instinctively jumps back a couple feet, and I can feel my heart racing as I turn around to see who came in. “What on earth is taking so long? What is going on in here?” Professor Lavinia questions.

Omg… How long have we been in here? Class for sure ended a long time ago.

Before I can even form a sentence, Wednesday has already started. “You’ll have to excuse us, Professor. We got carried away in a debate against the effectiveness of being burned at the stake versus hanged. I’m sure you understand, being a history buff yourself,” she says. Professor Lavinia’s jaw clenches, and in that moment I swear you could visually see her pupils narrow. “Watch it, Miss Addams. Inappropriate wasting of time when you should be in class is not a great way to start off the new school year. You both missed the entirety of the orientation presentation. Go on off to where you’re supposed to be. Now!” Lavinia scolds. I lower my head and follow shortly behind Wednesday on the way out. While we’re walking, a sudden wave of euphoria washes over me, and I can’t help but to add a skip in my walk.

“Sooo…. Where are you off to next?” I ask Wednesday, hoping our schedules for this year line up. She glances at me, and then moves her eyes back to the hallway in front of us. “The main office. I have a meeting with advisory to decide on a focused major,” Wednesday replies. I can’t read her tone this time. “Oh-em-gee, you should totes go for Mortuary Science. It just screams Wednesday so perfectly!” I squeal. Wednesday’s jaw tightens. “Enid, please. Can you take it down a notch?” she says, colder infliction this time. “Sorry.. You’re right. Just kind of feeling giddy. You know, after everything that…. Nevermind. Anyways- Good luck at your meeting roomie! I’ll catch you later!” I say, leaving her with a wink. I notice the slightest upturn in her lips. It makes my stomach flutter. As I turn the other way, I catch a glimpse of Yoko and hurry to catch up with her.

“Hey Yoko! First day going great for you too?” I greet, hoping my manneurisms aren’t more enthusiastic than usual. “Oh, as great as lectures, first-day homework assignments and moody outcasts can be. You’re in a good mood. What’s happening in Enid-ville?” Yoko immediately questions.

Oh hell. Am I THAT obvious?

An uncontrollable smile spreads across my face. “It’s been quite a first day, for sure.”

(aaah i don’t know if this is good, it was a bit more challenging writing from enid’s pov! hope u like, more to come xx)

[therantfairysblog]

The grieving that will never stop

✍️ note: there's a splash of my own experience so writing this is quite a challenge. To those who grieving, i hope the flow of times will slowly heal the wound, even though it will leaving behind the scar, our love one will remain alive in our heart. Sending love ❤️.

Everyday, Mrs Kanroji often praying in front of the altar, give various offering to Gods, as she was always afraid of her daughter's safety.

When Mitsuri telling her that she'll join the corps, she actually, for the first time in her life, didn't allowed her to go. Her Intuition often feel off about her decision but over time-and with her husband's support of her daughter, she finally accepted it.

However, over time, Mitsuri seems to finally started to accept herself as she is, and her wide smile never fade which she as a mother feeling grateful for. She always send them letters, telling her story of saving people, new friends and all.

But, honestly, his mother's heart always feel so heavy with the fact that mitsuri are taking the most dangerous job to herself.

Until her fears turned to reality. The news she received from Urara in the morning of new year broke her soul. Mrs Kanroji fell to her knees, begging to Gods that it was just her bad dream.

She stop going to temple.

It was like that for a while. She blaming herself for not strong enough to stop her from joining. Is this her fault? Is her prayer aren't enough?

Mitsuri was her first born, that her husband and her wait for 4 years. She was born strong enough to carry a big rock in her childhood. She's a great sister to her siblings. Never in her mind, that she'll outliving her own daughter.

The grieving was there all year, that her husband getting so worried of her. When ubayashiki kiriya come to visit, she didn't talk much, her husband did.

"Lady Kanroji was an embodiment of kindness that spreading magic among people around her. Most of the members of the Corp are orphan with unbearable trauma.

When she come, its looked like we could breath a little, full of happiness as if we live a normal life. Lady Kanroji is that person who never judged and she's care of all people around her regardless their status. Her departure is the big loss to us, she's never giving up in her last moment.

Lady Kanroji defeated the evil with her strong will and kindness, it's the highest honor to have your daughter as a part of our Corps in destroying the looming demons that haunted the peoples for thousand years. That's why, we'll do our best to help, until the end."

Ubayashiki Kiriya bow deeply to both of them. "Please don't bow like that Lord Ubayashiki, I'm so glad that she's become a part of the victory. It's may take a while, but I'll try to talk to my wife"

Mrs Kanroji couldn't bear to talk to the leader of the corp. Everytime she see him, she'll cry.

.....

Spring come. Cherry blossoms blooming peacefully in front of her house, added to her wound.

"mother, my hair, does it really that weird?"

"hmm? Why you said so? My daughter is always pretty, and your hair look like a cherry blossom. Aren't that pretty?"

"Really?? I love cherry blossom i love sakura mochi "

Mrs Kanroji picking up some of the petals in her hands. Her tears flowing like a river. Her daughter come and went by just like the flowers. So beautiful but their lives were so short.

"Mitsuri, you must be sad aren't you, how could i let you go, my daughter? My precious child, mother miss you so much"

....

The spring night come, with the nice spring breeze. She dream of her. So beautiful, innocent. The smile across her face, look like a beautiful calestial maiden.

'Mother, i love you so much. Mother I'm so happy and honored to have you as my mother, we will meet again, i promise. Mother I'm so happy here, i think my life is so fulfilling. I don't have any regret'

'mother, please live on. Until we meet again, i want you to smile'

The tears flowing down her cheeks in her sleep. Only God knows how much she miss her.

Perhaps the passage of times will slowly heal her pain, yet her mother's heart will forever be broken.

[doop-doop2]

For the fanfic ask I don't have any specific questions though I have often wondered do you pick pairings just from randomly thinking of them or do you see other peoples art for them or ect.? You've introduced me to many new ones 🤣

I'm going to talk about fe3h specifically since that's the fandom I've been the most involved in and written the most different pairings for.

This got pretty long so I'm putting it under the cut.

I'm inspired by the relationship in canon (support conversations, paired endings etc). Examples: Dimidue, Lornatz. <- I really like both of these support chains and they inspired me to write fics for the pairings. I think this is how most people get into ships honestly? I see their interactions, think their vibe is great in canon and find myself thinking "That's nice, now I want to see them kiss"

I'm inspired by other fanworks or by people I follow getting into the ship. Sylnatz is the biggest example of this. Sometime in 2022 I became mutuals with @manicsquare on twitter and her deep love of them made me fall in love with me too. (Tbh my first reaction to that ship was "How the hell would that even work?", followed by "Hmm.... maybe I can see the possibilities" after I pondered them for a while. I think the strangeness of it, the way it shouldn't work, is one of the things that's made me want to write it so much.)

Nothing external inspires me - I come up with the ship on my own. Honestly most of my fics are like this, especially the one-offs. I like throwing two characters together to see if I can imagine how they might fall in love (or what it might be like if they slept together, at least). It feels like a little challenge for myself sometimes. Could I make this work? What would have to happen to lead to them getting together in a convincing, natural-feeling way, without writing either of them too terribly out of character? Often it's just two characters I like - or at least like writing - with little or no other reason there besides it being an interesting thought experiment. Some examples: Raphael/Jeritza, Felix/Linhardt, Felix/Jeritza (Jeritza is very fun to write and Felix is my go-to straight man (in the comedy trope sense of the term), so to me this pairing in particular was a blast) Also in my head, never started, is the bare bones of a Marianne/Balthus fic in which he's more or less her sugar baby lmao. Which actually brings me to the rare 4th answer,

I think of a situation or trope I want to write, and then choose which characters fit it best. Like the idea mentioned above, where I was like "Who might hire Balthus as a sugar baby?" And at first I was like, well, what if it was Lorenz? But then I decided it might be more fun with Marianne. (Unfortunately I don't think I'm ever going to write this one, so if anyone wants to write this fic please be my guest 😆) Sometimes I just really want to write a trope, whether it's vampires or "But there's only one bed!" or what have you, and I just sort of go through all the possible characters/ships that might work for it until I find ones that fit the vibe I want the story to have. Another example - I have another unwritten idea in my head, a pop star AU, that started as Ignatz/Lorenz and now, if it'll ever be written (which is unlikely) it will be Ignatz/Sylvain or OC / OC (ie I'll turn it into original fiction instead of fanfiction). The vibe of Lornatz is totally different from Sylnatz, which would make the feel of the story very different, but the actual setup would be the same. Years before writing my most recent vampire story, which was Sylnatz (with Ignatz as the vamp), I wrote a few thousand words (never published) of a fic in which Lorenz was the vampire and Ignatz the random human who stumbles across him. Basically I just like writing vampires and always knew I wanted to do a 3h vampire fic, but I wasn't sure which ship or who should play what role.

So uhh...hopefully that answers your question, because that ended up being a lot of words!

Thanks so much for the ask <3