#honestly they're just so married I weep

[celestialholz]

Welcome to Art (7).

Thank you for meeting me here today, friends, for our special extra credit class, 'The Art of Gay Lore'! Now, if you'll all follow me to the art room...

Now, Professor Hassel may or may not know we're here, so everyone keep this on the down-low k? It's a weekend, we'll be fine... everyone participating today will be wired some totally legitimate LP in thanks, which... well, maybe don't mention that to Professor Hassel either? He does work for the League after all...

Anyway, I'm Professor Mini Holz, and today's special class is on the topic of the classroom itself! Now, would anyone like to hazard a guess as to why this classroom is particularly important on our journey into deeper homosexual lore?

A) Art is especially gay in Paldea

B) There's some interesting shit going on here

C) Everything Hassel does and is connects to his own homosexual love story and general softness

Correct, random guy at the back there! That's right folks, there's no true answer, because the answer is yes. (Though you can have extra extra credit for C, you've clearly read my metas.)

Now, let's start over on the left, shall we? Your eyeballs are mine, caught in my meta web...

We start with several colour charts, which is fairly standard for an art room.

What's fun here is that this is the RGB colour wheel, which is not used really in art theory, but more to determine how colour is viewed in digital mediums. If you mix blue and yellow paint, you get green, not cyan. Likewise, the triple diagram beside it is for printing colours - cyan, magenta, and yellow. It's also the exact colour scheme of one of The Harvests in Artazon.

... Now, imagine a world where colour is used on a digital platform to create alternate meanings to those in standard colour theory, such as, oh I don't know, POKEMON TYPES. And then, imagine a scenario where a local and well-known artist does exactly that in his sculptures. What a wild world that would be, right? Insane...

Also, these are rainbow colours. Professor Hassel has two rainbow posters in his classroom. Let's carry on, it's too early in the class to lose my mind...

And as we move to the centre of our classroom, I need you to all just stand back for a second. That's right, against that wall over there...

The seats, guys. Those seats we sit on for every class are Grass, Dragon and Electric-coloured, much like that one Harvest that symbolises the unity between Professor Hassel, gym leader Brassius, and an Arboliva.

If you look closely and count, friends, you'll see that there's also six of each of them if we count the two Electric ones off to the left, which is how many olives orbit The Harvest. Fascinating isn't it, that there's such a clear reference to the harmony of Professor Hassel and his husband in the middle of our classroom, specifically where we're meant to relax? Almost as though he finds deep comfort in his marriage...

It's not the only thing evocative of those types in this room, though. If you turn to your right for me, and check out that curious little piece in the corner...

Mmm. A very familiar colour palette, I think we can all agree. Thank you to my colleague @spiritofstars for showing me this - she's already taken extra credit. This appears to be a kabocha, a certain type of squash, which a little research explains nicely:

... Well. Now, who could we possibly know who has been 'deathly ill', and who Professor Hassel might wish to see safely through the winter? Ah yes, that's right - Brassius, that same one who told us that very thing in Art (4). This is reinforced by the presence of blue cineraria flowers beneath the painting, which as my other colleague @someguynamededdie pointed out in its recent flower meta, mean something super cute:

You see how the Dragon blue is the background colour, the 'protector' of the kabocha? We live in a society, and that society is so gay dear Arceus. My dear little bro also notes that orange poppies, the flowers next to the blue cinerarias, symbolise health and regeneration, so...

So, what does all of that together mean?

A) Professor Hassel is a goddamn sap

B) Professor Hassel is soft and protective and he makes me want to sob

C) Professor Hassel is completely enamoured with his windmill-jumping husband

Mmm, yes, correct! It's any and all of them, thank you for listening. We have this concept of 'protector' also summed up nicely in the top right corner of the room:

Here we find a Jigglypuff - a Fairy type, something Professor Hassel's Pokemon are weak to. And in the middle, we find a mannequin - a model, directly in front of a piece about a man being haunted by his past - look very closely, and you'll see the ghost in the distant window, looming over the more confident man at the forefront. And it's beside the Grass-type seats. But you'll note the Dragon-type coloured lamp on the same desk.

Here, we see a man who could be weakened, who could allow himself to fall victim to the ghosts of his past, the family he ran from - but because of the Grass, because of his own light, he doesn't. He stays here, and teaches us, and loves his husband.

Perhaps Professor Hassel isn't the only protective one, and perhaps Brassius isn't the only one who finds hope and salvation in his love. It's very interesting, isn't it class?

And Brassius, despite being a very prominent figure in the narrative of this room, isn't the only person being referenced here. If we move to the centre of the room, we of course find this:

There's a whole narrative here about 'flying free' - if we look at Professor's Jacq's Pokedex entry for Staraptor, we see that:

That's exactly what Professor Hassel did, left his family because they were terrible! It's crazy, really, because as a protector, he must also be very sturdy! Trust me, I've defeated him in the Elite Test - he calls himself 'the dragon guarding the final fortess', and he means it. We also see Brassius fly free - quite literally as he jumps off windmills, but he's been freed from his own awful past, too... by Professor Hassel.

And who must a Staraptor remind us of? Well, gym leader Larry of course, Professor Hassel's friend and fellow Elite Four member... much like those poppies over there, which bring to mind our good little Steel-type sister in Arceus, Poppy. In fact, I think she might well be responsible for some of these drawings...

Note the Phanpy, there, which could represent Rika as a little Ground-type cutie. But what's fascinating about this wall is the selection of Pokemon here.

Gyrados is a big, scary Water type which people often confuse for a dragon... Ditto can be anything, but adapts to its surroundings, always keeping its own stats intact... Eevee can one be one of eight different Pokemon one day, and its evolution is a joint decision between trainer and Pokemon... Cacnea is a small, cheerful, spikey Grass-type, which reminds me an awful lot of a certain gym leader, and Dedenne - well, Dedenne doesn't evolve, and yet we have a larger, rounder one, and a littler, happier one.

... Huh. They're all relevant, aren't they? Dragons being confused by their own paths; Eevee, its own fate undecided as a youngster; Ditto, who shows us that however much we change, we're still the same within; our pair of Dedennes, representing size and shape and happiness, and a little Grass guy who looks like Brassius, all smiles and victory - he even has a little crown!

... Wow. Even I wasn't expecting to discover this much! I hope you're taking notes... now, I don't know if Poppy did draw these lovely pictures, but there's one here that show a pair of Rookidee, and she has a Corviknight. I reckon that if nothing else, she definitely is responsible for this one, and that's adorable. The one on the right even looks unimpressed, which might have had something to do with it worrying about the future of that Tinkatink she also used to have...

But I'd like to leave you today, class, with a final painting, this one right here in fact, with the colourful squares.

Now, this is right next to the colour charts we looked at earlier, but - well, when someone has no colour, all they are is white. And from nothing grows identity - Grass, Electric, Fire, Steel, Water, Dragon, if we follow the colours of types. And so we have Brassius - from a small boy who doesn't yet know himself, to a Grass-type trainer, to one bursting with the creative sparks of Electric and the passion of Fire, to one who must 'steel' himself against the hardships of life... through Water-y tears, and to Dragon. And if we do a little more research into squares...

... Well, class. Isn't that enlightening. A journey to trust and stability, showcased in art. You could even view it the other way around - if this is about Professor Hassel, he starts as a Dragon, and he dissolves into tears... he 'steels' himself to live alone, away from a family who doesn't understand him... he embraces passion in Fire, makes music and art... until he finds his 'spark' in teaching, in the Elite Four, through the Grass-type trainer. And white, of course, is not just absence - white is what happens when all the colours blend together.

Well, I do hope you've enjoyed extra credit! Expect that LP as soon as I can get hold of Pen - wait, Sir?

How long have you been standing here? Have you been here the whole time? What do you mean I ignored you because I was too obsessed with lore?!

Look, I can explain - guys, book it!

[24-05txt]

In regards to the whole soul mate thing, Soap's been through all the phases.

He'd started curious, then confused, then mournful, then resentful. For now he's settled somewhere in the vicinity of apathy—maybe spite.

He doesn't have a soul-mark. Never has, never will, and that's... fine. He's far from the only one lacking that kind of connection, and that's enough for him to feel understood. Not alone. He's got plenty of good friends besides—with and without soulmates of their own—and he's happy that way. Really, he is; it took him a fair amount of work to get to a place where he could say that and it not be wishful thinking. He's got friends, family, dalliances, motion and company and light in his life despite the lack of a mark that tells him where his place is.

And then he meets Ghost.

The Lieutenant is huge in the sense that his presence alone takes up what space his height and muscle can't. He's quiet, too, at least before Soap makes the effort to worm his way under all that tacgear. (The man is intriguing, what can he say? Who else walks around with a honest-to-fuck skull mask day in and out.)

Ghost seems to tolerate him at first, then inexplicably starts to prickle and grouch whenever Soap comes within six feet of him. He could make up a few reasons for why that is, but instead contents himself with pretending he doesn't notice—pushing the implied boundary until Ghost mans up and tells him off.

He never does, though. And it's not long at all until Soap's found that the boundary has given way and Ghost is—well he's actually pretty pleasant to be around. He's funny, and patient, and gives way too much of a shit to be in a career that pretty much ensures the death of everyone he works with. (He likes to pretend he doesn't, but there's no other reason he would have been waiting up in that church for Soap—in fact he shouldn't have still been there at all, since he'd already scoped an escape route. The bastard's soft, is what he's saying.)

And that's when things start to backslide just a little.

They're sitting in the mess—only three of them, the Captain unable to grace them with his presence—and Gaz is talking about his sister's husband's new boyfriend being the result of a late-discovery soulmatch.

"Could you imagine," he says, pausing to chew his mouthful before he continues. "Going thirty years knowing there's someone out there for you, and not seeing them until after you're already married?"

"Could be platonic," Soap pointed out, not bothering with the same courtesy of chewing his food. Ghost kicks him under the table for it, but he honestly can't be asked to care for only three words worth.

"Could be, but still—could you imagine?"

"Nope." Soap pops the 'P' and grins. Ghost doesn't kick him this time since he hasn't taken another bite yet. "I'm a wee bit hopeless in that department."

"Ah, brother." Gaz reaches out and they clasp hands for a moment, then he nudges his shoulder. "You and me both. Never much got the fuss about it, but that does seem like some sort of cosmic irony yeah?"

"Issat irony?" Soap asks. "Don't think that's right."

Obviously, that incites a short argument that ends when Gaz pulls out his phone to look up the actual dictionary definition of 'irony', and Soap grasps to change the topic to literally anything else to avoid Gaz gloating on the off chance that he's right.

"Lt, what about you?"

Ghost blinks at him as if he hasn't been staring at the both of them through the whole conversation.

"I know what irony is, Johnny."

"No—" he can't help the scowl, and talks over Gaz's sudden jeering as he shoves his phone under his nose. Soap lifts his chin to avoid it. "You got a soul mark?"

"Read it and weep, Soap!" Gaz cheers, only slightly subdued in respect for every else in the room.

"I do." Ghost says at the same time, dipping his head in a tiny little nod, and Soap's world ends just a little bit, right there in the mess hall. Curls up, withers, and dies without so much as a squeal.

He's not able to ask if Ghost knows who it is, or if he's met them, or if they're still alive, or if it's romantic or platonic; he's not sure if it even matters, because Johhny knows right then that he will never be as close to Ghost as they are.

And it hurts.

It hurts in a way he wasn't entirely expecting.

He must hold it together well enough through the rest of dinner, and then through walking with Gaz back to their rooms, but once he's got the door locked behind him he feels the smile fall off his face. He sits down on the edge of his bed.

Ghost has a soulmate.

Ghost has a soulmate and Soap is pissed about it. Because that soulmate isn't him—it can't be, since he doesn't have a mark of his own.

It's just—it's unfair. They work so well together, on the field and off. He knows for a fact no one else can read Ghost as well as he can, no one else talks to him like he does, he doesn't hang around anyone else like he seems to hang around Soap. If anyone should be Ghost's soulmate, it should be him.

But he's not. Which means there's someone else out there that can watch his six better, understand him more, have more satisfying conversations—and it seems fucking impossible, because he doesn't even know how it could get better given the time they've known eachother... and yet.

And yet Ghost has a mark, and Soap doesn't.

It takes him days to get over it—at least enough to act himself when he's in company. Ghost tries to get him to talk about it three separate times before he can manage to get his shit together. He won't *lie* to Simon, nor is he about to admit to what's eating at him, and it leaves him snappish. Leaves the vitriol closer to the surface than it ever has been around Ghost and he hates to see how he reacts to it; he doesn't cower, doesn't flinch, doesn't avoid him, just stares—in a different way than before. John's temper will flare and Ghost will freeze a little, tilt his head, furrow his brow, and fucking stare at him until the moment passes. It might be better if he raised his voice in return, let it escalate into a proper fight—or even if he shut Soap down hard and told him to cool off. Instead Ghost looks at him like he's gone and become a stranger; like he's confused where he doesn't expect to be, and that hurts almost as much as finding out his place isn't next to Simon—or at least, he doesn't have any rightful claim to it.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

May 16th

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1. Hello! Hello! This time I'm asking I'm in Mood for a Fic. So, I want that after WWY's death he is reincarnated in the modern world, with all his memories, and discovers that his past life is a book, his mother in modern life is a fan of that book and is the reason he is called Wei Ying again. He must also discover that Lan Zhan is in love with him. Honestly, this is the basis, it may or may not have just 1 chapter or be longer. I just want something like this. Thank you ☺️ @sweettiebah

Rediscovery by getwow21 (Not Rated, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, BAMF WWX, BAMF WQ, WWX is a Wen, WWX in WWX's Body, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Modern WWX, POV WWX, Protective WQ, WWX & WQ Friendship, Good Sibling WQ, Protective WN, Madam Lan Lives, Wen Remnants Live, Madam Lan Leaves Cloud Recesses, Dimension Travel, No Golden Core Transfer)

What Your Heart Desires by pupeez4eva (M, 7k, WangXian, Humor, Crack, WWX is reborn in the modern world after his first death, where the MDZS novel exists, WWX becoming VERY well acquainted with the whole novel)

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2. I would like to find a WangXian fic where there will be some friendship between Wei Wuxian and Jin Zuxian + some cute moment between the latter and his wife? Maybe one where Zuxian doesn't die? (not a modern AU please)

🔒 Song by WithBroomBefore (T, 41k, WangXian, JC & LWJ & JZX & WWX, Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, WWX's canonical comfort with the prospect of his own death, Hurt/Comfort, JZX makes friends, Eventual Happy Ending, some unhappiness along the way, Canon-Typical Violence, JC keeps his golden core, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Minor Character Death, Kissing, WWX Lives, no golden core transfer (because Jiang Cheng keeps his), JZX Lives, Fix-It, WN Lives, Weeping, temporary major character death, like extremely temporary, Murder Road Trip, Implied Sexual Content, Sunshot Campaign, Nonbinary NHS, Telepathy, platonic group soulbonding, Family, Found Family, POV WWX, Podfic Available) this might not quite be what they're looking for but Song features a strong friendship between Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan (and Lan Wangji and Jiang Chen).

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 803k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) funny friendship btwn JZX/WWX, WWX helps him write letters to JYL

🔒 Candy & Conspiracies by Reverie (cl410) (T, 16k, WangXian, XuanLi, MianQing, Jīn Sect WWX, Chaos Gremlin WWX, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Cloud Recesses, Found Family, pure idiocy, And some light murder, good madam jin, No Angst, Canon Divergence) WWX grows up in the Jin sect, is a total chaos gremlin while JZX is the long suffering gege

watch what we’ll become by glitteringmoonlight (T, 59k, WWX & JZX, WangXian, Background JZX/JYL, WWX & JZX are married but completely platonically, featuring my let WWX and JZX be bros agenda, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Angst with a Happy Ending) JZX and WWX are forced to marry but WAIT it's actually cute and ends happily with Wangxian and Xuanli

Twin Treasures by crossdressingdeath (T, 81k, WIP, JZX & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Can’t quite tag this as ‘everyone lives’ but I promise everyone who dies will DESERVE IT, mostly novel-verse with a bit of CQL here and there, currently being edited) JZX and WWX grow up as brothers, JZX is overprotective gege)

🔒 Jin vs. Lan - For Wei Wuxian’s Hand by Vrishchika (T, 7k, WangXian, one-sided JZX/WWX, JZX & WWX, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, No War AU, Not JC Friendly, Not Jiang Sect Friendly) JZX falls for WWX first, competes with LWJ for his affections, ends up falling for JYL in the end bc Wangxian is goals

Couldn't Scream Couldn't Shout by mermorgie (T, 42k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & WWX, JZX & WWX, WWX & NHS, LWJ & NHS, WIP, Not for JC stans, Muteness, Sign Language, references to selective mutism, Homophobic JC, canon JC characteristics, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Pining, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Supportive Sibling LXC, JZX Tries, LQR Tries, Protective JZX, Scheming NHS, Bisexual JZX, LWJ is Bad at Communicating, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Jiang Family Bashing) LWJ silences WWX and accidentally makes it irreversible, WWX can't speak or eat and it's a bad situation all around, turns out JZX knows sign language and he and WWX bond over learning together

With you, I can fight the World by Weiyingbestboy (G, 2k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JC & WWX & JYL, JZX & WWX, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, JC is so done, JZX & WWX Friendship) time travel, JZX and WWX are at Qiongqi path and suddenly travel back to when WWX punches JZX at CR

A Peacock and A Raven by Akak_ShadMe (Not Rated, 2k, JZX & WWX, JYL/JZX, WangXian, Major Character Death, JZX & WWX Friendship, Time Travel Fix-It, Platonic Relationships, Protective JZX, Confused JC, JZX Lives, Oblivious WWX) this is a series, WWX and JZX time travel and confuse everyone with their friendship

Resonant Bonds by nirejseki (G, 3k, JZX & WWX, Soul Bond, Platonic Soulmates) JZX and WWX have a platonic soulmate bond and can speak to each other mentally

Fatherhood's Calling by Fortune_Maiden (G, 1k, JZX & WWX, JYL/JZX, Crack, Humor, Post-Sunshot Campaign era, in which JZX genuinely means well and it is a headache for everyone else involved) this is crack, JZX sees himself as WWX's new father figure bc JYL sees WWX as a son, not exactly friendship but hilarious nonetheless

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3. do you know any nice fic where Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian have a nice uncle-nephew relationship? If possible, without too much of JC'presence?

hills and rivers are waiting by LtLJ (T, 15k, WangXian, JL & WWX, Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, the family that hunts demons together stays together, and doesn't murder each other, Case Fic, BAMF WWX, Mojo's post)

A Civil Combpaign Series by Ariaste (T, 19k, JL/LSZ, wangxian, arranged marriage, courting, teenage drama, humor)

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL)

three days gone by occultings (microcomets) (G, 4k, JL & WWX, WangXian, Post-Canon, Family Bonding, Homophobic Language, Fluff)

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4. Do you know some WangXian fics where Wei Wuxian come back from death sooner, before 13/16 years?

incantations and blood by reikadust (T, 36k, WangXian, WWX & WN, JYL/JZX, JC & JL, JL/LSZ, WWX & Juniors, WIP, Rape/Non-Con, Angst with a Happy Ending, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Rituals, Self-Sacrifice, WWX gets a body early, non-con tag is for og characters back story, Reincarnation, LWJ is So Whipped, JC & LWJ Dislike Each Other, Good Uncle LQR, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, WWX the parent that stepped up, Doctor WWX, OP WWX, Genius WWX, No Smut, MXY Deserves Better, i gave him his own story, Child Abuse, Forests, Murder, PTSD, NHS & WWX Friendship, Scheming NHS, Scheming WWX, LWJ doesnt care abt what WWX does cz he loves him, Medical Inaccuracies, Canon Divergence, fast burn, Smart WWX, Fast burn, - they kiss in like chap 4 or smth, MY BBG WWX GETS HIS OG BODY BACK BRO DW, Mr Queen inspired, TW: rape/non con, Letters, Exchanging Letters)

patching the road with vague intentions by loosingletters (T, 35k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, LXC & LWJ & LQR & LSZ, WIP, Canon Divergence, Humor, Developing Friendships, WWX Resurrected By Others, Trans WWX, Case Fic, POV WWX, POV LQR, Family, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Violence, MXY Lives)

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5. after reading "baby, you ain't seem nothing yet" by triviasfolly, i have been obsessed with wangxian's parental dynamics with shizui and jingyi - are there any fics like this?

it doesn't have to be a modern au, but i would like if the juniors are teenagers. one of my favorite things were jingyi's crush/longing for a mom when it came to wwx, and how lwj seemed to be accepting him as a son. loved wwx discussion about self expression with, gender and romantic feelings with a'yuan, and that outburst with lwj not wanting him to grow up

To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell (M, 124k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Huli Jing, strangers to co-parents to lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Dragons, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, background NieLan, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Fox Spirit WWX, Dragon LWJ, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note) WWX is a doctor and huli jing, meets LSZ who's also huli jing but didn't know it, cue mentor relationship developing into dad later on; there's also a bunch of drama w/ LWJ lol

🔒 Due Process by Kytrin, ShotsOfSunshine (E, 280k, WangXian, LXC/JC/NHS, JL/LSZ/LJY/OYZZ, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Modern, Canon-Typical Violence, Fox WWX, Dragon LWJ, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid WWX, WWX identifies as male, Organized Crime, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of child abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Reincarnation) Also huli jing WWX but with Mafia thrown in there, WWX is a professor and mentor to young genius kids, his relationship w/ OZZ is a special spotlight and so sweet

❤️ By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal) non modern, WWX comes back as MXY, runs straight to JC and disguises himself as a woman, has a really sweet relationship with all the juniors in a mentor/mom way, funny identity shenanigans throughout

~*~

6. itmf fic where baoshan sanren comes down from her mountain to tell off JFM and madam yu for mistreating the son of her disciple—madam yu for all the obvious stuff, and JFM for allowing and possibly encouraging the rumors that WWX was his son, dishonoring cangse sanren’s memory with the idea she would have been unfaithful to her husband. i’ve seen them being criticized for that before, but never by BSSR, even though she’s the one with most reason to be mad on CSSR & WWX’s behalf

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, wangxian, hualian, WIP, TGCF, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, characters watching their series, Time Travel Fix-it)

Consequences by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 58k, WangXian, LXC/QS, JYL/JZX, Canonical Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Good Uncle LQR, WWX is a Lan, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Bad Parents JFM & YZY)

~*~

7. I'm in the mood for a fic where wy gets dumped by someone, and lz has to comfort him, while also figuring out how to lock that down. Bonus points if lz is possessive and horny. Bonus bonus points if they're lesbians.

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Former JZ/WWX, Minor NieLan, Minor XuanLi, No Powers, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Domestic Fluff, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, A lot of comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cuter story than the summary makes it out to be, Feel-good) WWX was dating JZXun which EW, but they break up bc JZX was cheating, LWJ comforts him through the entire breakup process, eventually ends up locking that shit down TIGHT

i as dance (i'm safe and holy) by QuietReader25 (Not Rated, 4k, WangXian, WC/WWX, Modern, High School, senior prom, Prom, Party, Swearing, Heartbreak, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Sad WWX, Insecure WWX, Violence, Punching, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Sex, Protective LWJ, Protective Siblings) WWX and WC break up during prom bc WC is a horrible person, LWJ runs after WWX to comfort him and they dance under the moonlight and kiss and it's super cute

Keep You Safe by airinshaw (E, 26k, WangXian, Modern, F/F, Rule 63, Female WangXian, Kissing, Cunnilingus, sgwy, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Pregnancy)

🔒 Keep Me by wingsofbadass (E, 58k, WangXian, F/F, Modern, Friends to Lovers, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexuality Discovery, straight girl WWX, Minor WWX/WX, LWJ FUCKS, only off screen though, the spirit of madam yu manifesting behind you whenever you have a gay thought, Rule 63, Female WangXian)

~*~

8. hello! i'm looking for wangxian fics in which lwj's family doesn't accept his relationship with wwx, i'm looking for something very angst

please! thank you 💕

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort) link in #13

Preparing the Soil by Rynne (T, 26k, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Family Conflict, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Chinese Holidays, Chinese New Year, Birthdays, Good Kid LSZ, Meta Arguments, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, Married WangXian, LWJ's Birthday, LSZ's Birthday, Soft WangXian, LWJ Has to Talk a Lot, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Gusu Lan Sect, Letting Go of Resentment, The WWX Rule, Good Sibling LXC, Improving Uncle LQR, Grappling with the Lans' Part in the Siege, learning to be better, Music, LWJ is a Composer, LWJ Is Good at Communicating Actually, Not JC Friendly)

🔒 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, Post-Canon, LXC Critical, Gusu Lan Sect, Not for LXC Fans, novel canon, Salt, Angry LWJ, Angry LSZ, Family Feels, WWX Protection Squad, LXC Gets Scolded, Based on Chapter 99 the Novel)

moonlight falls series by RoseThorne (T, 11k, WangXian, Found Family, Modern, Corporate Espionage, Bunnies, Adoption, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, References to Depression, Anxiety, Blind Character, POV Third Person, POV Wei WuXian, Confrontations, Bad Parent LQR, Pre-JC & WWX Reconciliation, Dissociation, Mental Health, Issues, Anniversary, Food, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Emotional Constipation, Communication Failure, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC is Trying, WWX Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Sex, Food Sex, Friendship Reconciliation, Psychological Trauma)

~*~

9. I'm in a mood for fics with a main pairing you hadn't thought would work but *did*

a bird in your teeth by Eevee (ChaosBitch) (E, 61k, JYL/XY, wangxian, Let XY have nice things, Let JYL get some good dick, (sorry JZX I know you did your best), Past JYL/JZX, Past JYL/MM, All of the sex in this fic is consensual, But one of the participants IS a fierce corpse, JYL POV, Minor Character Death, I feel like this fic turned out surprisingly soft, but XY still does some onscreen murders, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mention of JGS’s canon behavior, Mentions of XY’s canon behavior, Also Wangxian is not the main pairing, but they’re definitely here and stupider in love than ever, Angst, past XY/JGY, Hopeful Ending) This fic made me ship Jiang Yanli/Xue Yang

Cursed Couple by shorimochi (M, 121k, LQR/WRH, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Out of Character) can I rec Cursed Couple? I did not ever think I would read a WRH/LQR fic, but this one somehow convinced me to ship them

Delight in Misery by nirejseki (Not rated, 44k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, JC/LWJ, WIP, Canon Divergence, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Accidental Life Partner Acquisition) wip. timeskip zhancheng with background wangxian

Spilled Pearls by nirejseki (T, 88k, LQR/WRH, Sect Leader Nie/WRH, Sect Leader Nie/LQR/WRH, Madam Lan/QHJ, Canon Divergence, Autism Spectrum Character, Asexual Character, Polyamorous Character, Atypical Relationship Dynamics, Age Difference, Dysfunctional Family, Child Neglect, Attempted Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Destructive Behavior, Not QHJ Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, LQR's No Good Very Sad Backstory, Tedious Joys AU, LQR-centric, the romance is secondary and takes a while to get going, WRH is not that evil)

How to Train Your Psycho by NotActuallyaSpider (E, 25k, JC/XY, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con, Canon Divergence, Top XY, Possessive XY, Horny XY, , POV XY, Bottom JC, The power of sweets, the power of puppies, the power of treating people like people, There is violence in here, and SMUT, and attempted puppy murder (not by either JC or XY and very not successful), violence against animals, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, References to Transactional Sex, sad lonely boys, JGS is an Automatic Warning, Attempted Murder, Successful murder, albino puppy, courting, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Consent Issues, XY & JGY being BBFs, JC was raped by WC and WZL, Not Everyone Dies AU, Jiang sibling feels, past WRH/JGY, that wife/husband thing because I like it for whatever reason)

Cicada Sings Amongst Bamboo by Shadaras (T, 14k, LQR/QS, Madam Qin & QS, past JG/QS, Canon Divergence, Courtship, Time Travel, Second Chances, Recovery, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, references to canonical rape, This Burn Could Be Slower, QS Deserves Better, QS Lives, Sunshot Campaign)

Tread Lightly on my Ground by AshayaTReldai (E, 63k, LXC/QS, WangXian, JGY/QS, JGS/QS, JRS & LXC, QS & WWX, LXC & WWX, Major Characted Death, Rape/Non-con, PTSD, Rape, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Not Really Character Death, Happy ending for LXC, Incest, Trauma)

watch what we’ll become by glitteringmoonlight (T, 59k, WWX & JZX, WangXian, Background JZX/JYL, WWX & JZX are married but completely platonically, featuring my let WWX and JZX be bros agenda, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Angst with a Happy Ending) link in #2

Multiplicative by jeejaschocolate (E, 51k, JC/WRH, College/University, Modern, Mathematicians, Bad Parenting, Daddy Issues, Shame, Self-Esteem Issues, Age Difference, Teacher-Student Relationship, Smoking, Masturbation, Porn Watching, Slut Shaming, Dysfunctional Family, Size Kink, Identity Issues, Developing Relationship, Public Masturbation, Light Dom/sub, affection and care, Phone Sex, Daddy Kink, Big Cock, Blindfolds, Multiple Orgasms, Praise Kink, Pet Names, Recreational Drug Use, Semi-Public Sex, Rough Sex, Cum Inflation, Confessions, May/December Relationship)

~*~

10. Hii, for the next itmf I was wondering if anyone has any Spider-Man Wei Wuxian AU's?

~*~

11. itmf modern au fluff fics like "Insert Coin Now for Extra Life" by TriviasFolly? it can be a/b/o or not. just want fluffy fics of wangxian loving eo 💌

🧡 paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53k, WangXian, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Modern AU, Dadji, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Brief Alcohol Mention, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Accidentally co-parenting with your son’s art teacher, Fatherhood)

Contingency Plan by krispy_kream (M, 8k, WangXian, Fluff, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Mutual Pining, Marriage of Convenience, (the convenience is that they're in love), Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Podfic Available)

🔒 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, WangXian, Modern, Supernatural Elements, Shapeshifting, Fluff, Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Rabbit LWJ)

whiskey neat (you're too sweet) by mercurygirlwt (M, 1k, WangXian, Husbands, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Body Worship, Sort Of, No actual sex, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, WWX's general battle with insomnia, Teasing, date night :) )

Blooming Days by Atsushiis (G, 7k, WangXian, LWJ & LXC, LWJ & MM, Modern, College/University, Meet-Cute, First Dates, First Kiss, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, LWJ Has Feelings, Let LWJ talk about his feelings agenda, Romance, Falling In Love, Wangxian are softer than a baby bunny, gratuitous handholding, Give LWJ hugs agenda, LWJ Protection Squad, Spanish Translation Available) LWJ gets stood up on a date, WWX swoops in, very fluffy, very sweet

Hand in hand is the only way to land by so_shhy (T, 4k, WangXian, Modern, Meet-Cute, Fluff, WWX is wet and adorable, in a tree, With a Cat, LWJ had no chance, Don't Try This At Home) a really adorable series, WWX tries to save a cat in a tree, gets stuck, LWJ helps him

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Former JZ/WWX, Minor NieLan, Minor XuanLi, No Powers, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Domestic Fluff, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, A lot of comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cuter story than the summary makes it out to be, Feel-good) link in #7

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love)

~*~

12. Any modern single parent WWX fics where LWG thinks that WWX is messy or disorganized or something on first meeting, just generally has a negative impression and dislikes him before finding out he's a single dad?

🧡 i really want to know (who are you) by Stratisphyre (M, 19k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Golden Core Reveal, Single Dad WWX, Reasonable Authority Figure LQR, Allusions to violence and murder, Hospitalization)

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer) although Lan Wangji knew Wei Wuxian prior to Yuan surprisingly entering his life, I think The Simplest Way Forward is similar to the request.

~*~

13. Wei ying has some illness and is brought to cloud recesses to recover @untamedlover

Sick Bed Reserved In Gusu Lan by scifigeek14 (T, 14k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Sick fic, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Golden Core Reveal, Fix-It)

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

🔒🧡 Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

🔒 Heart of hearts by apathyinreverie (M, 3k, WangXian, Dark LWJ-ish, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Recovery, Possessive LWJ, Possessive WWX, Protective LWJ, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Golden Core Reveal, kind of, Hurt WWX, Caring, WWX Goes to Gusu, ridiculously self-indulgent, Canon Divergence)

🔒 Bright Voice Roughly Rendered Softly Silent by Preludian_Staves (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Muteness, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Not JC Friendly, Confessions, Angst, Choking, Red String of Fate, Appearances by Paperman WWX, Inventor WWX, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Goes to Cloud Recesses, Feelings Realization, Caretaking, Supportive Lan Family, Genius WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective Lan Family, Character Death (not wwx or lwj)

~*~

14. For the in the mood for thank you in advance

Financially struggling Wei Wuxian @kanrax-blog

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar)

❤️ the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, pining, getting together, past child abuse, mental health issues, Mojo’s post)

Work of Heart by Witch_Nova221 (T, 17k, WangXian, Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, soft romance, Artist WWX, Musician LWJ, College/University, Modern, Roommates, Friends to Lovers, Family Drama, Emotional Manipulation, Financial Issues, Bad Parent YZY)

artificial nocturne by idrilka (E, 10k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, First Meetings, Sex Demons, Misunderstandings, First Time, Getting Together, Rimming)

Care and Feeding by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 16k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, Sex Demons, slight dubcon, but all parties are happy, Hurt/Comfort)

Kitty-cat by canis_lupus, Lily Hargrave (canis_lupus) (E, 96k, WangXian, WIP, Cat WWX, Modern Cultivation, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, dom LWJ, Sub WWX, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jiang Family Dynamics, Abusive Jiang Family, POV Multiple, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, Masturbation) WWX is living in very much a slum before the events of the story, this kinda comes into play. It’s also a modern cultivation au.

~*~

15. Hey do you know any ff where wei ying is an omega and wangi is an alpha but no one knows that wei is omega and he is keeping it secret and he is so awesome that no one could guess, about him being an omega but lan wangi knew cause he is his mate and he tries to protect him, something like that....thank you😊

~*~

16. Hi!! I'm ITMF a fic with badass WWX acting a little off-putting/eery from other ppl's POV, yk like how the juniors say that WWX feels kinda strange and scary sometimes because of his powers but also bc of something "inherent" with him? I hope it's clear enough.. tysm!! @harapecowee

You are what you eat by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 17k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eldritch WWX, Horny LWJ, Body Horror, Possessionof a sort, Cannibalism, kind of, Mild Gore, Teeth, Fluff and Humor, Smut, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Monster sex, Switching, Light BDSM, Rimming, Self-Lubrication, Seriousness treated Crackily, Implied/Referenced Torture, Dead WWX) Eldritch horror!WWX

pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, WangXian, POV Outsider, BAMF WWX, Kidnapping, Violence, YLLZ WWX, not exactly but the vibes are there, Post-Canon)

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, WangXian, possession, cohabitation, Mojo’s bookmark)

Lonely Thing by ByCandlelight (M, 15k, WangXian, Angst, Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Cannibalism, Gore, Necromancy, Inspired by Addams Family, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Kinda, smidge of hurt/comfort, YZY's a+ parenting, Fix-It of Sorts, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

~*~

17. IITMF ask; Does anybody know of any fics where after the sunshot campaign, they go to the death row Wen cultivators and give them the option of giving up their cultivation and leaving as a free but mortal person or death/labor camps until they die/basically whatever they did to the wens in cannon. As a way to fix some of the damage done by when Zhuliu(*cough cough* or just WWX *cough cough*). Does something similar to that exist? Like I'm not asking for anything where this is the main focus, this could be a minor mention/plot point. But does anyone know anything like it?

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[elizabethrobertajones]

Bounding Frog's Yeet Abilities Rankings

(AKA Lizzy is feeling too sick to do any meaningful content)

26: Trajectory

The reason I started even thinking about doing these rankings in the first place. A true nadir of the artform, when they took away the damage, yet I still keep hitting it on cooldown in combat because I have played approximately half my hundreds of thousands of hours in this game on Gunbreaker.

It's just this:

Scoot. Or, well, it has two charges. Scoot Scoot mid rotation.

25: Thunderclap

Used constantly in combat and has zero frills because you WILL press it 100 times a fight and don't want to think about it. Used on friend and foe alike, good range, very flexible and so many charges for darting around. Technically perhaps the best.

While eminently practical, both its name and effect sound and look like a fart.

Starts with a dramatic lean in:

.... poot:

Anyway you don't want to think about this one more than you have to.

24: Repelling Shot:

It says it's a shot, but it doesn't do any damage and you don't release an arrow. Has the same blue effect as Shukuchi so I'm starting to add up that this is a generic moment spell, in this case, adorably levitating you. As someone who got really into Claude FireEmblemThreeHouses (wow what a surname to marry into >.>) it DOES appeal to me aesthetically. The fact it yeets you backwards from the enemy and you USED to have to run up to it from a ranged position in order to yeet made it really specific, but now you can do it from a moderate range, which has made it much more practical, and I'm having fun with it.

23: Aetherial Shift:

Enjoying learning to use a wind-aether job to fly, the effect is understated and the pose pretty. This gap closer is a nice addition for making this job even more practical when it's already one of the best, and makes Astrologian so so tragic for still not having Urianger's teleport (honorary mention for scholar's expedience since it's great but not a gap closer, or any sort of jump per say.)

Also it's wind aspected and doesn't look like a fart which is such a low bar I didn't realise that once I started actually looking at the poses I'd be weeping over.

Thinking of:

22: Shukuchi

Absolutely classic ninja move of throwing down a smoke bomb and teleporting away while they're coughing and distracted. 10/10 for vibes, loses a point for floor targeting when I'm panicking but gains it back when I have the presence of mind to use it for cool evasions and positioning.

By necessity it's a pretty low key effect which disappears you entirely except for your fart cloud. Which is an intentional effect so it's fine this time. Honestly the blue aether effects could be done without and just fully lean in but this IS a form of wizard so we have to nod to that and reveal it's not all practical effects and a trick of the eye, and you ARE literally disappearing into the shadow.

While we're on the subject of shadows and wizards...

21 and 20: Between The Lines and Aetherial Manipulation

On account of always screaming while pressing buttons like this I hadn't even noticed they HAD an animation up until this point. Black Mage is about watching gauges and ignoring orange circles on the ground.

These two have the exact same animation with ourple orbs for Lines and Aetherial Manip is geen!

And the animation? SLIDE FORWARDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOUR SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON LEVITATING AT YOU.

19: En Avant

For the Pretty Job With Pretty effects, this one is again very low key, maybe because you have 3 charges and are using it constantly as you dart prettily about the arena. There's nothing WRONG with it, it's just... there... and ranking lower BECAUSE Dancer is often SO overtly pretty that this ranks low just in comparison with your other abilities in the job, rather than ranked against others.

I also learned that you shouldn't wear full plate while dancing because all the abilities are sort of assuming you have exposed skin and can stretch all the surfaces way more. This looks weird. I'm not stripping Frog just to do these rankings though.

18: Forked Raiju

I don't know why, but I keep both this and Fleeting Raiju on my bars, maybe because this one briefly locks you in place if you're casting it while up close, while the other would give you mobility if you were already within range so theoretically it would be a better choice when running around in circles doing ninja stuff per the way my old fc leader played. However, in practice, I almost never am in a position where casting it is going to be less preferable because I move when I have positionals or something's actually happening, so it's the primary lighting attack for me and makes hunt marks really funny until a knee high brick wall arrests my progress :')

It looks fine while you're watching Frog yeet all about the screen, but you twist like a corkscrew as you do so, so all the screenshots of it in motion have poor Frog completely pretzeled up

17: Intervene

Okay time for a series of tank ones, all roughly the same weighting on this scale. Personally I am a real fan of the devotion of a good paladin and their earnest attempts to protect you. But on the other hand the other two have better aesthetics on rankings which take into effect coolness rather than a stalwart heart. Alas, the true of heart never can win.

This one still does damage (yippeee) and looks like a mini passage of arms as you shoot yourself shield first at an enemy.

Unfortunately, on the scale I didn't realise I would be ranking anything on, it leaves behind a smoke ring in the arse-adjacent area.

Poot [supersonic].

16: Shadowstride

Boooo give me back my damage.

On the other hand, I can't even remember the aesthetics of the previous ability but this does look really cool!

First: transform yourself into a shadow of your former self, possibly turning your entire being into some glowing malevolent orbs:

Second: scoot (your feet will leave delorean tracks of shadow as you go)

Third: reemerge changed by your time in the Shadowrealm:

15: Onslaught

Warrior got to keep the damage, AND this is objectively hilarious. Ability which says "FUCK YOU" (*scribbles everywhere with an angry crayon in your wake*)

^ Pictured: Bounding Frog shoulder checking a Karen out of the way in the frozen produce section in order to obtain the largest whole dodo for Starlight dinner

14: Icarus

It looks really funny with no spell effects btw. Right up there in the "I am currently falling over" rankings with Forked Raiju

Anyway this is as practical as the Monk one but with only one charge, but DID introduce the concept of gap closing healers since this is a close range brawler of a job despite its vaunted origins (the auto attack is the cutest little punch). It super beats out the Monk one, however, because of the spell effects.

Outta the way, gayboy, I'm going to invent new kinds of hubris they'll name after me

(bonus point for this specific glam, where the beams come out of the guns)

13: Smudge

(just starting to realise this is a great cat name resource too)

I did deduct many points because it's NOT "red goes fast" but on the other hand, it's green which is wind aether, so we're painting the CONCEPT of the new WHM gap closer, AND it comes with a sprint. I love nothing more than riding around on a slimy streak of conceptual speed.

Hit the picture limit with picto, possibly because they could not contain all the painting emanating from that one image, so I'll continue in a reblog. After a revelation to come I MAY have got all these numbers hideously wrong because I am nothing if not completely blind to numerical values.

[sparklecryptid]

A Reveal because the Lucis Caelums had a magical family tree made up once and somebody finally found the thing after it was lost in the archives for a few centuries.

Regis is not even the only person with bastards, he's just the most recent one and it's not even the biggest scandal.

(That would be the confirmation that the children of that one LC queen couple of hundreds years ago were most definitely not sired by her husband, which honestly, everyone expected already because the man was so gay and not even pretending otherwise.)

Noctis stares at the magic family tree.

He stares at it. Ignis stares at it.

The two of them exchange looks.

"Well," Noctis says eventually, "Do you think I can toss the crown at one of my siblings-"

Ignis gives him a look that would make lesser men weep.

"I'm not sure they would appreciate that."

-

After that Noctis takes the family tree and with Prompto's help carefully looks up the names of his siblings.

One of them lives in Lestallum and works as a scientist at the power plant, Thanatos seems to be a cheerful man with red eyes and that makes Noctis wonder WHY no one has connected him to their father earlier.

The next is Ardor, who has a Kwetter account that is only used to post blurry shots of beasts and daemons that Ardor was hunting and to response to his other siblings.

Which is how Noctis finds out that all his half-siblings know about each other and regularly interact through the internet.

It makes him feel a bit lonely to be honest. He understands their desire to not want to come forward but-

Well.

He's always wanted a bigger family.

The next person Noctis and Prompto find is a man named Ace who is Hunter and sometimes appears in Ardor's photos. He's Galahdian, obvious by the beads in his hair, and Noctis and Prompto share a look when they realize that Ace is married to an active member of the Kingsglaive.

Persephone is next, she's a priestess with a warm smile that Noctis thinks is somehow comforting and threatening at the same time. She is also married to an active member of the Kingsglaive and routinely shows up on her siblings feed asking them to 'please reconsider what they are about to do'.

Jules works in a book store. She has mousy brown hair and bright blue eyes hidden behind thick frames. She looks like someone Ignis would get along with.

Bard is - okay, Noctis has known who Bard is for a while know, her videos go viral whenever she posts her street performances and Noctis knows that Ignis and Gladio are fans. He wonders if he can get them an autograph.

Jupiter is the sister of an active member of the Kingsglaive and Noctis begins to wonder if they're training them so poorly they can't recognize members of the loyal family.

There is nothing on Mercury's page but cat photos that she tags her siblings in with 'this you?' the latest of which is a wet cat staring at the camera that Mercury tagged Ardor in.

Noctis is a little hurt that they all know each other and yet never bothered to come forward.

If he posts a video of the magically glowing family tree on his Official Account and tags all his siblings in it with 'this u?' well-

Noctis deserves to blow up the internet once and while.

As a treat.

(The existence of the siblings gets quickly brushed aside when the family tree - upon study by various historians - confirms that the children of The Star were not sired by her husbands.

Thanatos immediately posts a joke about 'horny running in the family'.)

[pokeheadcannons97]

could i suggest arven, penny and nemona with a s/o who likes baking for them? ty ^.^

pairing: Penny x reader, Arven x Reader, Nemona X Reader

content - {The trio with a significant other that likes baking for them!}

[genre] - fluff, pure fluff

[warnings] none

words: 467 total, nice and short

Arven

He’s no stranger to the baking aspect of cooking, it being a nice change of pace for special celebrations or a late night sweet tooth. So he too enjoys baking for you.

Though since the two of you have been dating, he’s kinda shy-ed away from baking since he noticed you enjoyed doing so for others and more eagerly, for himself.

He gives you honest critiques on your sweet treats when you ask him, and even offers to bake with you when you can’t seem to get a certain recipe to come together quite right.

His favorite things that you bake are usually your sweets such as chocolate mousse cake, or the cheesecakes of any flavor.

Mabosstiff's favorite are your Pokemon friendly oatmeal cookies in the shape of himself. He usually bites the heads off first.

The two of you are absolute units when it comes to holidays like Christmas or Valentines Day. This past holiday the two of you baked up a storm the days leading up to it, and the faculty, Nemona, and Penny were all very much appreciative, and ate every last crumb!

Nemona

This girl, she never really stays still for long. But you have discovered the offer of baked items makes her stay put at least for a little while.

She's usually looking over your shoulder when you're using your decorating things like cupcakes and cookies and more often than not a single finger is slowly wiggling it's way to the edge of the bowl to swipe a dollop greedily.

She's honestly a bottomless pit too, all that exercise and battling that she does can work up quite the hunger. So you make sure to have her favorite items like cookies, and malasadas since they're easier for her to carry and take off with like a Greedent.

She doesn't really know a lot about baking, more so used to the cooking aspect, but she will try her best! You need an ingredient you forgot? She's on it. Getting tired from stirring? That butter is as good as fluffy.

Taste tester? She volunteers without hesitation. She will try anything that you make with a smile on her freckled face with glee.

Her Pawmot really love the Apricorn fritters that you make! And just like his trainer, he eats A LOT.

Penny

Penny may not say it out loud, but she ADORES sweets. Her favorites that you make are the simpler items like chocolate chip cookies or puddings of any flavor.

She works a stressful job at the Pokemon League, so when you come by with a container of freshly baked chocolate cookies?

She feels like she could marry you on the spot and weep tears of joy at the act of love from you.

Will offer suggestions on what to bake when you're at a loss at what to make. She has a bunch of food creators that she's followed on Pokegram just for that.

Her eeveelutions favorites are usually anything the same color as them oddly enough. Blue birthday cake icecream sandwiches for your Glaceon, Strawberry shortcakes for Flareon, Blueberry Pies for Vaporeon, Lemon Curd Cupcakes for Jolteon, Elderberry Cobbler for Umbreon, Ube Rolls for Espeon, Mint Chocolate Cakes for Leafeon, and Raspberry Tarts for Sylveon.

You had your work cut out for you, and usually saved each individual favorite treats for their birthdays. Your hand is usually very sore from all the baking.

[oflights]

allie i've been trying to gather the courage to reread close behind honestly ever since i first read it in march last year but i've been too. emotionally distraught to actually do so but! i've literally thought about it probably twice each week. and now i'm finally actually almost over my ex so i should just bite the bullet but im SCARED bc the last time i cried for 5 hours

like i literally remember 2 am on a weekday in literally -2 C weather and i sat on my balcony, wrapped in a blanket, chain smoking and reading at the same time, tears streaming down my face. all this to say i long for that catharsis but i'm. scared

omg. anon!! first of all it's probably weird how happy this kind of message makes me lol, like yay, i left you emotionally ravaged!!! mission accomplished!!

second of all: just remember the happy ending! read the last chapter first, and keep it in your mind as you read the rest!! think about everything that could come after it, too, like:

harry and draco's first awkward af date in hogsmeade. ron, daphne, their kids, and scorpius all follow them in various disguises courtesy of george and they are very obvious but harry and draco are too into each other to notice.

draco never wears black again. for every date with harry, he wears a different set of brightly-colored, over-the-top robes.

he steals harry's colorful fair isle sweaters all the time, too.

oh and he gets a weasley sweater like, day one of his renewed relationship with harry. molly had actually been knitting him a bunch over the years but held them back because she didn't want to make things weird or upset harry, so there's a backlog to get through. some have a little dragon stitched on them and ron is super jealous.

their first holiday at the burrow? emotional, life-changing, beautiful, cathartic. harry weeps at least five times. ginny punches him for old time's sake.

speaking of, headmaster harry who holds regular office hours for all hogwarts students in case they ever need to talk to him about something. even if they just want to talk about socks.

(headmaster harry who gets all embarrassed whenever anyone calls him "the youngest hogwarts headmaster in a century")

terrifying new DADA professor hermione granger, who is distressingly unpopular amongst the students because they're all too intimidated by her and it takes her a while to learn how to deal with kids.

until she skips out on a hogsmeade weekend to scandalously elope with a much younger former department of mysteries intern and then she's just incredibly cool to them.

and listen. scorpius locks himself in his room when he finds out about harry and draco's past. he asks draco if he'd ever loved astoria and makes draco cry. draco teaches him that the heart is a universe and he doesn't have any regrets and a wonderful future doesn't invalidate a past he was truly happy in.

and then!! there's stepdad harry. my favorite thing. scorpius asks harry how he knew he was gay. harry gives scorpius the invisibility cloak and asks him to help perfect his disillusionment charm in return. scorpius asks harry to rig the house cup for slytherin as his birthday gift. harry refuses, even though draco thinks it's only fair.

harry and draco date, get engaged, get married in their 40s. they go back and forth between hogwarts and the hogsmeade cottage (which includes ron and daphne's fam like 70% of the time too; harry loves summers spent as part of the extended weasley-greengrass-malfoy-potter family). draco eventually retires from curse-breaking and becomes a nepo hire charms professor after scorpius graduates.

they really do live happily ever after, after all that. promise. 😌

[ssahotchnerr]

Ok idk if anyone else does this BUT I like to imagine an au where instead of Haley, Hotch is married to reader from the start and she’s Jack’s mother 🤭 cause its fun and I like imagining Hotch having a loving and supporting marriage throughout the entire time hes on the show (cause I mean its the least he deserves with all he’s been through 😭)

And in this au reader is like really close with the BAU team like she brings in baby Jack during paper work days, remembers the team members birthday’s and gets them small gifts, them going to her when they feel they need someone to talk to cause she’s like the mom/sister of the BAU 🥺. I like to make up so many scenarios with this AU in my head especially one where she and Jack go through the same thing with Foyet but reader survives 🫣

This isn’t a request or anything just like a idea or thought i’m throwing out there for you to enjoy or expand on in any way, shape, or form you’d prefer ❤️

PLEASE the way everything about this is perfect <3333 and honestly how the show should’ve gone from the start

having that contrast between aaron being all stoic and stern, BUT then he goes home, or reader visits with jack, and he turns into that complete softie we all know he has buried deep in him within seconds ☹️ or after a tough case, he always has a sense of stable comfort waiting for him 🥺 ughshsj i would’ve loved to see him switching between the two fronts more vividly- from hotch to aaron.

AND that with the foyet storyline?!?!?! pure genius. like obv we saw him under stress and pressure with haley, but just IMAGINE how it would be with a partner who he’s so so deeply in love with and can’t be apart from for more than a couple days at a time. like a part of him was truly missing and there's no telling when or if he would see the two of them again :( he would be distraught, so so much more tense, and just the whole process of getting foyet would’ve been more frantic, because he can't live without them and he needs his loves back or else he can't function :(

and their reunion afterwards 😣😣😣😣 the way he would just crumble and be so relieved the nightmare is finally over and refuse to let reader and jack out of his arms :(((((((( like just imagine once foyet said rip, he goes running to wherever reader and jack are and within seconds he's pulling the two into his embrace, just weeping softly and giving them both kisses and saying how he's sorry, how much he missed them, or a "it's okay, it's all over now" :( ugh what we should've received rather than him being all traumatized :(

also ALSO the ending of s4 with reader?!?!?! imagine they're in bed, they can hear aaron getting home and they're all smiley to finally see him after a few days (and aaron mentioned the pig farm disaster and how tough it was:(, so they're waiting to console him), and then a gunshot just rings through the air </3

and i love the idea of reader being close with the team :( <3333 haley wasn't at all to begin with -like the scene where she's at the bau with baby jack, she's not on a first name basis with any of them (while all other bau s/o's were referred to by their first name), it's kinda just awk completely, because they just know each other through a mutual being aaron. but reader being an outlet for them <3 like they're not in the bau, so whenever someone needs a break, reader is an easy person to turn to, for a sense of normalcy. or reader bringing them all dinner if they're working late, going out with the girls for girls nights and just being including in all family get togethers :( <3 they would just complete the bau fam overall :(

AND just reader having more babies with aaron <33333 that would've been the cutest thing ohmygodjdnd aaron wants a big family <3 it's canon in my book <3333

aaron just deserves a happy life 😣 that's all

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: The Notorious Lord Knightly by Lorraine Heath

5/5. Releases 6/27/2023.

For when you're vibing with... Peak angst hours, people who adore each other but oof pain, defiantly proud heroines, and big "I was half a virgin when I met you" energy.

Knight--otherwise known as Lord Knightly--has an issue: there's an erotic memoir circulating around the ton by an anonymous source. And everyone thinks the "Lord K" that corrupted Anonymous in the book's pages is him. Bigger problem: it totally is him, and Anonymous happens to be Miss Regina Leyland, the woman he left at the altar five years ago. After years of avoiding Knight, Regina has had enough; but she can't be revealed as Anonymous, especially if she's to move on with her life and marry a good man. Knight offers to help her on that front--by publicly making nice with her, despite the fraught tension between them. But with every polite and platonic dance, Regina wants to claw Knight's eyes out--and fall into his arms. Both. Both is good.

MAN. Lorraine fuckin' Heath. I don't know if anyone does pure shots of emotion like her. There's just something about a book wherein you can feel how much the leads want each other, where you're actually thinking "Why can't they just figure this shit out and be together?" She does it so well.

Quick Takes:

--Regina Leyland is one of my favorite heroines, maybe ever? She's so proud and so wounded and self-righteous, and so like... in denial. She's not a nice girl who's just sitting there weeping over her broken heart, or a classy broad who's Risen Above in the five years she and Knight spent apart. Nah. She's pissed. And she should be! Her anger and the verbal lashings she gives Knight really serve to underscore how much she adored him and how much she gave him. Like, I don't know, I think we often see this tendency among romance readers to feel like heroines should just get over it. Because we are in the mind of a hero like Knight, and we of course know he loves Regina and has his reasons for acting as he does. She doesn't have that. She's suffered. He needs to fix it.

At the same time, Regina has also done a lot in those five years involving forced responsibility and growing up. She lost her innocence (.... in every way ...) to this man. So you get this sense as you read that you're seeing her reawakened, and kind of... allowing access to a part of herself she's neglected for a long time. What I'm saying is--she is horny. And he's hot. And honestly, the fact that she's so horny makes it more believable to me that she keeps coming back to go "AND ANOTHER THING". Girl is hard up. It adds a dash of humor to what would otherwise be kind of dark, and balances the book perfectly.

--Knight is very hot, and very much worthy of Regina's horniness. Honestly, I kind of get how losing him broke her brain a bit and sent her own a rampage of revenge. This guy is... sexy, in a way that Lorraine Heath nails so well. So many of her heroes are really not asshole alphas, but they're like--smooth as fuck. They rattle off lines or throw smiles or do something that is so incredibly slick that you're like "God, this man FUCKS". Knight is one of those. Also, he does creepy shit like keep her ribbon in his pocket for YEARS.

--This book is actually really fucking meta. Regina wrote a book that is a memoir, but is anonymously written and fictionalized on some levels. What people--especially women--love about this book is its eroticism and passion and focus on women's pleasure. We see attempts to ban the book, attempts to shame the writer and the women gleefully reading it, attempts to dismiss its importance. Reading a historical romance focusing so hard on this during an era when the US at least is becoming increasingly puritanical, with calls to shame ethical sexual content in fiction and to outright ban expressions of sexuality and sexual autonomy for women and queer people in particular... It was really cool. I love that Lorraine's past couple of books in particular have used their historical backdrop to make a commentary about issues that plague us to this day.

Where this book is better over The Counterfeit Scoundrel, in my opinion, is in its ability to maintain a searing romance. Counterfeit's romance was good, and it was a very romantic book. But this book had me feeling the way books like Waking Up with the Duke and When the Duke Was Wicked did. The romance is that good.

--Another interesting thing this book brings to the table is its focus on illegitimacy. Regina is illegitimate, but her mother was her father's long-term mistress, essentially his wife of the evening, and he was an involved figure in her life who recognized her. Bastards and mistresses are often a thorny topic in historical romance. The goal of most historicals is ultimately marriage--but the reality is that, among the nobility at least (which most historicals still focus on) love was reserved for paramours. Bastards were perhaps more likely to be born of love, or at least passion, than legitimate children. And while we often scorn mistresses to this day, mistresses functioned (and... let's be real, still do) as different types of wives. In this case, Regina's father's wife was the one who hosted balls and attended functions (important!). While her mother was his emotional refuge and partner (also important!).

Lorraine executes a really interesting analysis of these roles. Regina is not to be pitied--she's had loving parents and her father always made sure she had cash to spare. But she also has three siblings she's never met, who resented her. She's also shamed more for losing Knight because she is a bastard. Her mother was a badass woman who taught her daughter to prioritize and not be ashamed of love and sexual pleasure (a note I adored) but she also didn't get everything she deserved from the man she loved. The gray is explored really well here.

--I've seen some criticism re: the "why we broke up" of it all... And I suppose it could've been a bit more high stakes? But I personally love an internal conflict, where people kind of act stupid because they're human beings and human beings rely on emotion and issues like insecurity and the sense of obligation and can ultimately make a big impact. So for me, it really didn't affect my enjoyment of the book. I love it when people make realistically bad decisions and have to deal with the consequences.

--You do get flashbacks to Regina and Knight's original courtship so--two romances in one! I really adored the contrast to the heady, innocent days of the virginal Regina's seduction by this rake, against the more jaded Regina trying so desperately to deny her feelings for Knight, who clearly loves her and has always loved her. Them coming back together as angsty people who've Seen Shit was everything.

The Sex Stuff:

There are a few different sex scenes in this book, scattered among the flashbacks and the present. I always feel like Lorraine's books are truly sensual. The sex scenes aren't as explicit and are somewhat more euphemistic than those by other authors I love, but she conveys passion and wanting so well that I don't need it to be as graphic. It's hot. One of the sexiest scenes in the book is literally a kissing scene.

But also, he fucks her real good. So. No worries there.

She's done it again! I loved this book, and recommend it wholeheartedly. Peak second chance.

Thanks to Netgalley and Avon for providing a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[vinetae]

BTS as boyfriends - PJM

A/n: Obviously I'm doing my bias first. Don't shame me ya'll, I've been having all these kinds of scenarios in my head for years now, and I need to share them cause they're just too cute.

Warning: I am going to be 100% honest in this. There are some toxic traits and qualities I think Jimin has, so for all of you saying 'NO MY BABY IS PERFECT-'

No, no he is not. He's human, and so are you. No human will ever be perfect, so stop setting the standard to impossible.

Just as friends(?):

I feel like Jimin would be very chill when it comes to dating. He said in his last live that he forgot about Valentine's Day until someone had mentioned it.

However, I see him becoming a bit more clingy to the person he likes. (It's been said before but I'll say it again, Jimin is a touchy person.)

I think he's the type to bring you along to any of the places he has to go for work. (As long as you're not seen in the public.)

He'd be very quiet and content with you when people are around

but when it's just the two of you, you're inseparable.

I'm talking truth or dare nights, looser who can't do either has to drink, face masks, skin care routines, and topping it off with some Disney or cartoon movie.

Now, if that's all just for being friends (who he likes) could you imagine the relationship???

Actually, once in a relationship with Jimin, I feel like he'd calm down a lot more. Not as nervous. If you were the right one, he'd be very calm and collected, even when it might just be only you two.

Now although Jimin's still a kid at heart, he also is a grown man. So I think he'd accidentally let a dirty joke slip once in a while. Especially when you first start dating, he'd use it as a gager to test your limits.

If you laugh, you're the one.

Late Nights:

Honestly? He'd get back so late he'd already be able to see the sun rising. I think Jimin would have a tendency to put his work before you. And if you can handle that? Ya'll go get married right now, because this man is practically addicted to working. He's a perfectionist, we all know it.

And I get it, he has tons of fans to please but damn this boy needs a break.

So for all the people out there saying that he'll be all cuddly and "yes, my queen?? would you like a foot bath??", sorry to dissapoint. You'd be likely the one holding Jimin together. From his own self-hatred and dislikes he's constantly pointing out about himself, you're surprised he isn't a pile of mush by now.

So, late nights would consist of you staying up and waiting for him to return back. From 1am, to 5 - you never know when he'll be back. And you don't mind. Because you're here to support him no matter what.

He's said it so himself how he wishes someone would just wash his body for him. So, yes. You'd most defiantly be guilted into giving him a bath from time to time. (He returns the favors, kids. Calm down.)

Jimin's battery level will almost always be drained. Especially if he has an album release coming, or is working on a choreography with one of the other members. Though, he will still try and be the best boyfriend he can. Buying you little things along the way to silently say "Hey, I still love you and I'm so thankful that you're in my life. I see you."

But then again, like I said; It'll be YOU holding him in the middle of the night due to his insecurities. His head tucked underneath your chin, as he silently weeps into your chest.

That's a harsh reality check, isn't it?

Living Together:

Now, when Jimin was in a good mood (thanks to your late night pep talks and early morning encouragements) He'd be like superman. Running around the apartment, trying to do anything and everything to repay you back. -even though it's his apartment- XD

Need the laundry done? He's on it. Want breakfast in bed? He's on- Uhm.. on second thought, he'll just order from your favorite cafe down the street.

He'd be really lovey and cuddly throughout the day before pecking you on the cheek, leaving for work.

He's actually quite easy to live with. However, the mess of the apartment had been mostly HIM, even though he's barely been at home. The breakfast he burned this morning still sat on the counter, making you sigh. The laundry hadn't even had the degergent poured in.

"It's the thought that counts."

Special Nights 👀:

Anybody who believes Jimin is a sub, get off my blog right now. I am a PROUD supporter of Dom!Jimin and not afraid to show it.

This man- this man is dangerous.

It started off slow. He'd come home after a long day at the studio, which he'd been with Namjoon to record his parts. You greeted him with a short 'hey' as you set the table for the two of you. He smiled, sitting himself down to eat dinner. The round table in his apartment had been pretty small, which earned him easy access to your foot.

"Jimin quit that"

"Hmm? Quit what?" He plays footsies under the table, I just know it.

You chuckle, kicking back at his foot. "That."

He smirks. "Oh, sorry, honey."

A few minutes go by before he's adding to the died down conversation. Rubbing the side of his finger against his lips (Ya'll know which live I'm talking about)

He smiles innocently (his intentions are anything but), wiggling over to your side to hug you closer.

"Mmm?" You reply, feeling the way his hand starts to climb its way up your thigh.

He takes your chin in hand, tilting it, forcing your eyes to gaze into his. "You're cute." He chuckles.

"Mmm, I know."

"You little brat."

"Oh?"

Before you know it his lips are crashing into yours.

Bodies exploring each other's as if you hadn't been doing this for the last two years.

He lifts you from the dinning chair, as your legs wrap around his torso.

This man ya'll- He loves edging, lemme tell you that right here and now.

Many of these other blog collectively agree on one thing.

Park Jimin is a menace in bed.

Praise, encouragement, and sweet words.

It's really a toss up between Fifty Shades Of Grey, or The Notebook. (Ones in which Jimin has both seen.)

So good fucking luck with that, my dudes.

He'd have you writhing under his gently touch, as his lips roll the most dirtiest things.

"You like it?"

"Come on baby, ugh- fuck you're so beautiful"

"God, you're so wet. My little dirty girl~"

His kisses are sloppy but passionate. Positions would usually include; Missionary, cowgirl and blowjobs.

I think he'd LIKE the idea of eating you out, but he'd be a little hesitant at first. I really don't think he has THAT much experience with girls, tbh. Maybe a few fucks here and there, but nothing too serious. His work had always gotten in the way.

Oh but sitting on his face - hop the fuck on. He'd be down for that any day, any week, any month, any year. ANY FUCKING TIME.

He just wanted you to suffocate him with your pussy, is that too much to ask?

That was his little dirty secret. His fantasy wish, as you may.

Though, he hadn't asked you to do that until you both practically had been halfway to marriage.

Honestly I think Jimin would be the most likely to wait until marriage, though. Is that too far of a stretch?

So, yeah. All in all, don't fuck with the man unless you're prepared to get RUINED.

Honestly I think aftercare would be pretty simple. No special bubble baths, no massages, no slippery oils. He'd prefer not to make a mess (because you'd get onto him and make him clean it up).

Aftercare would consist of a small little wipe down of the spots you'd gotten dirty,

maybe a quick change of sheets (they needed to be changed anyways), and a good, nice cuddling session to doze off to. Him being the big spoon

but during the middle of the night it'd turn into you spooning him. He's a dom, but still a baby when it comes to sleep, alright?

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

Lemme know if you guys want me to make some for the other members too. Peace ✌

[svnnyd4ys]

(some of the) eah royals as incorrect quotes!

Blondie: Apple noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. Lizzie: This reminds me of the Apple who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Blondie: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Apple.

!!!

Duchess: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Ashlynn: So you're just gonna wait until Briar is in danger and save them? Duchess: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Ashlynn: ... Ashlynn: You're insane.

!!!

Blondie: *fills up bottle and drinks from that* Ashlynn: *brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen* Apple: *drinks straight from the tap* Duchess: *dehydrates* Lizzie: *drinks from the puddle of water on the floor* Briar: *licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

!!!

Duchess: Fine! Judge all you want but... Duchess, points at Ashlynn: Married a lesbian. Duchess, points at Lizzie: Left a man at the altar. Duchess, points at Blondie: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer. Duchess, points at Apple: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire. Duchess, points at Briar: Lives in a box!

!!!

Apple: From now on we will be using code names. Apple: You can address me as Eagle One. Apple: Blondie is “been there done that”. Apple: Briar is “currently doing that”. Apple: Ashlynn is “it happened once in a dream”. Apple: Lizzie is “if I had to pick a wonderlandian". Apple: And Duchess is.. Apple: Eagle Two Duchess: Oh thank god.

!!!

*Briar comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Blondie’s bedroom.* Blondie: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Briar: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Briar: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Blondie: ...

!!!

Briar: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world! Duchess: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment. Ashlynn: More or less, I guess... Apple: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that! Lizzie: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept. Blondie: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

!!!

Duchess, reading the newspaper: Huh. Did you know Nickelodeon opened a hotel? Briar: Yeah, I went there once. There was a dead squirrel in the pool and I made some of Ashlynn cry by telling them it was the real Sandy.

!!!

Apple: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Duchess, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

!!!

Blondie: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Ashlynn: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Briar: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

!!!

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* Apple: I will not let you down. Duchess: Sounds fun. Ashlynn: K. Blondie: No, I'm fucking not. Lizzie: Do I have to be? Briar: Please god, I am so tired.

!!!

Ashlynn: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Briar: Aren't you forgetting something? Ashlynn: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Briar's forehead before running out.* Briar: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

!!!

Briar: *sighs* Blondie: You bored? Briar: Yeah. Blondie: Wanna start drama for no reason? Briar: I thought you’d never ask.

!!!

Lizzie: Punch me in the face. Duchess: ...Punch you? Lizzie: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me? Duchess: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

!!!

Apple: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

!!!

Briar: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

!!!

Ashlynn, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

!!!

Duchess: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

!!!

Lizzie: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

!!!

Blondie: I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying! !!!

[emblazonet]

Nerilka's Story

Can someone explain why this book exists, please?

It's fucking TINY and it took me over a month to get through, and it somehow managed to make me hate characters from Moreta: Dragonlady of Pern, which is an incredible feat, because I loved Moreta and the cast.

I liked Nerilka in Moreta. She was fine.

Being in her head was like someone rubbing a cheesegrater on my skull.

As usual, spoilers follow for a book that's been out since 1986.

I mean, Anne McCaffrey did succeed in writing a first-person book that is exactly like a person writing shit down in a diary with very little filter and with no real sense of plot, and if I wanted that, I would go read a real person's diary, because it sure as fuck couldn't be more boring than this.

The first half of the book is just Nerilka (Rill) being all like 'wah I was mean to my family and now they're dead' which, like, valid thing to be sad about. Her dad sucks, which we know from Moreta. Great, we can maybe have tension with him—wait no. Suddenly the focus then moves on to Rill's flouncy stepmother who is just a really boring charicature of a stock villain. She's pretty and brainless and lords it over Nerilka and it's flat and boring and comes across as pretty misogynistic honestly.

McCaffrey's weird bloodline shit is extra gross in this. The drudges come off as subhuman in intelligence, who must be managed and herded. (And then all the parts later on where Alessan needs to have a person of the right bloodline to marry and I'm just like.... why.) There's no magic or anything that runs through bloodlines. There's no scientific reason why nobles matter more than other people. It's just stated to matter for some reason with no back up. If the caste system was like, nuanced or something—a drudge struggles to be thought of as intelligent or something, in another Pern story even!—then I'd be more tolerant, but this seems like an unconscious bias, and therefore it irks me.

The other issue with the first half of the book is that it's a really shoddy rehash of stuff that already happened in Moreta. Yawn.

I was relieved at first when Rill finally got to Ruatha hold where hopefully she could have some characters to interact with—the telling instead of showing was by this point irritating the everloving fuck out of me. Unfortunately it's just 'here's some boring vaccine logistics' for pages. Then finally Moreta dies which introduces some conflict...

And instead of anything compelling we end up with Mega Depressed Emotional Shutdown Alessan who basically gets a complete personality wipe, because that's how grief works right? And then suddenly he's making some stupid shitty suicide bargain to Rill. "You can kill me once I put a bun in your oven, but don't worry, I won't beat you!" WOW.

WOW. (There's no 'omg you were Lady Nerilka all along!' moment in any of the book, by the way, despite her travelling incognito. Everyone just already knew. That dialogue might have been fun! Can't have that.)

(There's also no scene where Rill and Alessan reminisce over Suriana, the one person they loved in common, because that also might be fun or have emotional resonance.)

And then Alessan is a zombie for the rest of the book. Look, yes, grief changes people, sure, but like. Maybe we can cut out realism in the TELEPATHIC DRAGON book to maybe not have a previously-likeable dude turn into 'not beating my wife is my one redeeming quality haha I have no emotions anymore.'

Like he gets four sons and doesn't emote until there's a daughter???

And Rill's like "This is fine, he has no real emotion for me except pragmatic approval, but I like being pregnant so it's a happy ending after all!"

(This book has some weird moments about pregnancy. Like the whole bit with the runner giving birth where Rill says runners are so much more advanced than humans because they don't wail and weep and curse in pain. What. What is that. Why is that. That's fucking weird, Anne! That's a weird thing to say! I love my random animal birth scenes to have an Obligatory Misogynist moment to make the narrator sound like she's Not Like Other Women, that's fucking great.)

Anyway this book fucking sucked and I'm going to pretend it never happened in order to go on enjoying Moreta.

1/10 YIKES

[armatization-a]

🎰 :)))))

this isn't even part of the meme. i'm just talking whatever bullshit i feel like :) the only random part is what ships i'll talk about. strap in!

Rose & Sorey

i love this ship naturally. like it's one of my fave Zestiria ships. BUT i have an even specialier soft spot for them. you know why? it was our first ship! honestly, i think they're amazing. she wants to protect him from the hard stuff. he wants her safe, too. she'd kill for him. he'd die for her. he's soft, she's battle hardened. he's an optimist. she's a realist. they're each other's opposites and i am HERE for it!

Ashe & Sylvain

weeps.... WEEPS. our first 3H ship. but i also think they're neat. i think Ashe's hero worship of knights is perfect for Sylvain. ... also the disillusion of that hero worship when he realises what knights can be (bc lbr. his impression of Sylvain in their supports is Not Positive). but still!! i love them

Byleth & Shez

enemies to lovers wheeeee. though Byleth hasn't clocked onto the 'lovers' part yet. he's still waiting to be murdered in his sleep. they're gonna be married for 10 years and he's like "this is part of the plan to kill me isn't it". they're so good together i want them to make out. 10/10

Leo & Odin

we've written this for like three seconds. i don't care. this counts. they're like The Fates Ship. they're ridiculous. Leo adores his dramatics. i'm still trying to figure out what Odin would like about him. i guess he likes being needed, and boy Leo needs him. (genuinely asking here pls help me Aster this is for research) anyway i think they should f

you and Saizo!

i just think you guys would be a cute couple- okay no i'm sorry LMAO

Hikari & Partitio

a red and gold ship.... an underrated colour scheme. actually merchant!Hikari is my discord icon c: but no i LOVE it like. new money & old money. a prince and a commoner. they both want the same things. they have totally different backgrounds AND YET. they couldn't marry because Parti's gotta travel but. Hikari loves him all the same

[silencedrage]

the way that van cannot stand conflict drives me a little feral ngl. even when she has every reason to be angry or bitter or snappy, she cannot fucking stand when other people feel bad.

the thing with jackie dragging shauna out of the plane and leaving van behind? van has EVERY RIGHT to be pissed at jackie forever for that, or for at least far longer than she showed on the show. but even when she throws it back in jackie's face, she cuts herself off before crossing the line that can't be uncrossed, which imo is telling anyone (namely tai). because you absolutely know that if tai had known what jackie did, there is no fucking way that she would ever have forgiven jackie for it, and maybe even shauna, and i think van knows that.

growing up with an alcoholic for a mom meant that van learned very early on how to mediate and read the room. as a child, her survival depended on it and it became a natural instinct to read body language and between the lines of what people aren't saying. she knows taissa and she knows jackie and she clocks that they're in an impossible fucking situation, and what would telling tai do other than create even more friction than what was already there? van knows skirting that conflict is more important than her own vindication and she never brings it up.

i honestly even think that after the first few days, van is mostly over it? not over it in the sense that she's not freaking out about having a near death experience and everything else that's going on, but i think she's over the idea of being angry at jackie for it. she makes a couple comments, gives the cold shoulder to jackie, but she doesn't take it much further than that.

and then jackie pushes her out of the way of the plane's propeller, and even though i fully groaned when she was like "hey that makes us even, right?" (and honestly so did van), it kinda clued them into the fact that jackie was still angsting about what happened. she still felt bad over making a decision in a terrible circumstance and van doesn't really think it's productive for her to keep doing that. i think it's important that she doesn't outright ever tell jackie that it's fine, but i think a part of van stops holding it over her head as much because she doesn't like the way that jackie's guilt makes her feel.

there are a few other moments with taissa where she does the same. top of mind moments are in ep 7 when they're all laying down for the night and tai's about to give a speech, and van cuts her off to be like "we don't need another speech, we need to sleep" and it's uncharacteristically short for her. and then half a second later, she can't stand the awkward silence so she says she'll take first watch because she needs to smooth over the conflict because otherwise it makes her anxious.

another moment it happens is in 2x06 (my rewatch of the ep sparked this entire post) when they're talking about what the other tai said and tai's like "maybe she meant you and me?" and van literally scoffs and says no and there's a shot of tai looking like a kicked puppy and AGAIN van can't deal with that look and she's just like "no i have to take care of me, we can't do this, you're married, etc etc etc" and i just weep about van palmer and her desperate need to avoid conflict and how that manifests even when she has every right to be furious and bitter.

and she's not perfect! she loses her temper a lot but she tries not to let it linger. she's incapable of letting it fester. she says what she means and then covers it up immediately with a joke or a throw away quip and i want to peel back all of the layers of different archetypes van encompasses because liv and lauren give such layered performances that it makes me want to die

[lehdenlaulu]

Okay, the liveblog continues: Ep. 4

Oh don't brood Mal, there's clearly nothing going on with Alina and Nikolai. Unless you're brooding about her ambitions, in which case... Bro.

Poor darling. Also shut up Baghra.

...yeaaah. Let's just say that I'm never, ever a fan of the 'I just want you and a Normal Life and I don't like it that you have other interests and goals' trope.

Not that I don't appreciate that some drama is introduced, things were a bit too harmonious to be narratively interesting, you know?

But still... Alina, baby, you don't need to apologize or placate him.

Oh look, a cartoonishly evil prince. Yay.

Also, I'm not sure if I should be impressed by Vladim's name or not because while it is a real albeit rare name, I can't help thinking the writers just couldn't spell 'Vadim' correctly and just assumed there's an 'l' in there. But maybe that's just me and my infamous Name Nitpickery.

Now that I'm on a roll with the complaints, I'm still kinda baffled at Kirigan's whole thing. I don't understand his plans or motivations because from the way the show has unfolded it honestly appears like was reasonably chill if somewhat schemey for a long time and then just totally flipped and decided to become a cartoon villain. I understand Baghra's motivations even less. But maybe that's the point?

Aww, those were some very loud and clear 'I love yous' from Kaz in his language. Freddy is totally running away with this season, eh?

Oh David.

...Yeah, Nina's cunning but I did not for a second believe she could have blindsided Kaz.

Yeah, Kaz is absolutely scarier than Kirigan. Shadow monsters or not.

And Mal can't catch a break, huh? To be fair, though, this is kinda consequences of his own actions.

Vasily is a creep but he has charisma and presence I feel Nikolai should have as well, even if of a different flavor. I'm not at all sure that's the case, but the jury's still out.

Not sure I'm entirely buying Jesper and Wylan this fast but they're cute so eh.

Oh Kaz.

Ah, I did wonder at how different the brothers look. Well played. And it's definitely better when he's not putting on the act.

Okay, they are really cute friends. I'm absolutely pro Alina having good friends.

Bye, Vasily.

Ah, so Nadia wasn't a Tidemaker, then. I wonder where I got that idea.

I wish I could have been impressed with that confrontation but Kirigan is such a cartoon villain now him and Alina trading barbs and dramatic declarations just feels kinda silly. And am I wrong for having the idea that in the books there was still some spark between them at this point? This feels entirely one-sided. Which is a pity, honestly, there was so much potential with Jessie and Ben in these roles.

Ep. 5

Hah, six of crows, one being imprisoned. Well played.

Ben's doing his best with what he's given, though, absolutely.

Ah, so that's the deal with the gloves.

I really love the Crows, okay.

And I like that Nina and Zoya get to interact.

David and Genya though. 😭

Why is everyone so keen to trust Baghra, though? Has Alina not spilled the beans? 🤨

Okay, I do like it that while they're blessedly not teenagers, they're still damaged and young and not that good at this relationship stuff.

Oh Genya. 😭

Aww, I love that Inej is praying with Tolya even if it's not her faith.

Oh Zoya. She's really been though it too, hasn't she?

These two keep making me weep. 😭 They deserve everything.

*replays the scene for seven times in a row*

I bet that's hell and a half go gif though with the lighting. *sigh*

I love Tolya. Can I have one?

Nina and Kaz pretending to be married is not something I knew I needed. 😂

That's big though. Even if he had to do it.

Oh honey.

I love that Inej knew to flinch back. She gets it.

Ahh, that's the line. I know that line. I bet Ben insisted on it.

This is basically just fanservice but I'll take it.

Yeah. I mean, these kinds of differences don't solve themselves with time and patience. Someone will always have to make sacrifices. *sigh* Not saying she should go back for seconds with Shadow Boy, but... you know?

Oh, this is getting interesting. *Daredevil flashbacks*

Ooh, that's the second F-bomb this season. Nice.

Okay, they would have been a good arranged marriage. I'm a little bit inclined to ship it a tiny bit now.

Poor Kolya. There will be a bearer for your ring yet.

Zoya baby, you do not make a very good Crow.

Huh, I think I know what this means.

Ep. 6.

I still think it's a little foolish to trust Baghra so unconditionally, but eh.

They're holding haaaannnds. 🥺

Jesper backstory yeeeeess.

Yeah I still think the Morozova thing is stupid. The name, I mean. It makes sense for her to be Morozova but not any of her male kin.

Poor baby.

I think I see where this is going. I've seen enough book spoilers.

Poor Inej. I mean, I'm a little bummed they had her hallucinate a romance scene when the boys had family-related visions. But eh, fanservice.

...yeah, thought so. It's a biiiit convenient, but there ya go I guess. *sigh*

Okay, who's the choreographer? Because this is genuinely some good shit.

All of this? And it's only the sixth episode?? Huh.

Stop making me cry, show. 😭

Oh Jesper. 😭

Oh Inej baby don't get all Darkling on us now.

Honestly, I wish I could care. Archie and Jessie are doing a great job. But... meh. Maybe it's because I know how it ends already, even if I didn't know any book spoilers.

(Also if they do some bloody pregnancy trope I'll fucking riot.)

Frankly, it's a little difficult to care about anything that is going on in Alina's story, except Genya and David, especially when the Crow side is firing on all cylinders so to speak. The mashup worked better last season, now the difference is getting obvious. Alina's story feels more and more like a fairytale in comparison, and within the same show it's a weird whiplash.

Ep. 7

I guess Tidemakers don't have green keftas after all, that's just Kirigan's little cult and their fancy velvet. Boo.

Not the bloody meadow. I'm sorry but enough is enough.

This, though? This I approve. Ben and Archie are always fire together.

Come on, Alina, stop breaking poor Nikolai's heart by giving him back his things.

Aww, you boys have come a long way.

Theeeeey. 🥺

Nikolai I love you but master strategist you are not if Kirigan's dumb teen posse can outsmart you this easily.

Oh David.

Kolya, honey, this is why you do reconnaissance and don't jump to conclusions. Time was on your side here. 🤦‍♀️

Honestly, this is all so silly if you think about it for even a second.

Hi baby, just what we needed to bring some sense into this mess.

Well, someone's clearly trained his troops some strategy and tactical maneuvering at least.

Finally a smart idea.

Tolya don't you dare get killed. You're too sexy to die.

Alas, poor Dominik. You were always doomed.

And you two don't you DARE.

No David noooooooooo-

Well, one episode to go. Let's see if this is the end of Alina's story.

Ep. 8

Oh Kaz. 🥺

Please someone find David and save him please.

Huh, I didn't expect that would actually happen. I don't expect it to stick, though. Mal, I mean. Doesn't fit the fairytale.

Yeah, didn't think so.

No. 😭😭😭

If anyone deserved a happily ever after it was them. 😭😭😭

I wish the whole Darkling thing hadn't been so anticlimactic and sort of pointless, apparently. Oh well.

Well, I'm glad they want it to be choice, not destiny. Destiny is overrated.

Come on boy, you can do it.

Guess not. :p

Well done. You'll get there.

Awww, I like this. And Kolya found a new bearer for his compass. :D

Tolyaaa, I support your endeavors but I think she's pretty much spoken for. She deserves some of that, though, you're right. 🤭

Okay, Nikolai does wear the coat better, though. Might have suited Inej the best, honestly. It's her color.

Proud of you my boy.

Oh, it's this creep.

Oh well then. I wondered what twist we'd face next.

Bet you could, Zoya, bet you could.

Well, that's one way to start your reign.

And that's certainly one way to react to just using the bloody Shadow Cut, Alina.

More conclusive thoughts tomorrow night, but overall I was actually still very impressed and happy to be back in this world. I hope we'll get more. And no offense to Paddy but if Shadow Boy decides to make another comeback, I hope it'll be Ben playing him, as frankly underutilized as he was this season.

Anyway, now some sleep.

[travelerclondike]

I love how in the tags and comments, everyone is like “THE HORRORS!!!” Which… yes. <3 But I honestly love playing with the concept of soulmates, but that's also because many of my stories delve into the concept of fate. But being Ace myself, soulmates aren't usually romantic. They're one's second half, the only one who truly and fully understands how the other's mind works, who each has almost a second sense when their “other” is in danger, the one each is forever tied to whether or not they can comprehend how or why it's them who are made for each other. I never thought to use anything like a mark or first words or hands or anything, but my gosh, playing with the concept brings out ALLLL THE DRAMA. I weep, I drool, I laugh. 

Because on the one hand, with so, SO many relationship combos, romantic soulmates are actually pretty rare so while everyone would just love to find that perfect connection, most understand the odds of finding your one true love as your future spouse is unrealistic to strive for. But that doesn't mean you're doomed to be alone, just know that you can still meet someone, fall madly in love, get married, have kids, and still understand that when things get rough, you may both have someone else you storm off to vent at because they understand you well enough to say if you're being crazy or unreasonable or share enough of that connection that the advice (whether good advice or not) cools the internal turmoil and makes you feel like something you probably should have seen or thought of yourself in the heat of the moment. Even in that world, lovers are probably idealized because it sounds like perfection in theory, but anyone who has actually found their soulmate knows even that wouldn't be without conflict. 

Family:

In these worlds, it's probably considered “lucky” when the soulmate turns out to be a family member because those on the outside may gush about how fortunate it must be to have that connection with someone you've known your whole life and save you ~all the trouble~ of searching for that level of bond. But the “lucky” people may not feel so lucky because it both leaves a TON of uncertainty for the future and a sort of bitterness that fate would pair you with a family member giving a feeling of being cut off from some of the joys others have in the discovery. After all, if you’re free to find and marry whoever you want instead of hoping fate will give it to you, it probably feels a little daunting. Like if your other half is a sibling, are you even meant to marry at all? But maybe they realize they don’t want to be with anyone, and can still vent or cry to their loved one about any other life’s troubles. Like I’m sure as a teen there would be some disgust while everyone is wondering if their classroom crush is “the one” there’s this kid over here going “ugh, I’m already tied to my mom, how fucking embarrassing” and trying to deny it while their friends are like “I wish my parents were so understanding / I wish I could go do all those fun things every weekend with my mom…” and no, no you don’t. But honestly having a sibling, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle, may be appreciated further down the line. 

This can cause a bit of tensions though with the rest of the family like feeling left out (if its between two siblings and a third sibling just doesn’t fit in), favoritism, maybe the other parent swears sometimes they’re always the bad guy or being teamed up on because the other and child have that sort of shared interest or mindset for mischief, the parents upset that kid is so much closer with other relative that didn’t raise them and seems to light up whenever they visit. Maybe one sibling is on bad terms with the rest of the family or in denial and desperate to get away only to have their other sibling somehow be the one to track them down and try to reason with them. How did they know where to find them? It’s just a feeling they had they knew where they’d go. If things with the family are really bad, the siblings may even leave together if they can convince each other, but how that affects the rest of the family is open for some heartache or bitterness. 

Best Friends: 

We all know the trope of found family and such, but sometimes the person you’re meant to be with does feel like you could be related when finding that perfect match. It’s not always like an instant click (just like love at first sight is uncommon) but there’s a certain point when hanging out that people really do look at these two and tease how they must be separated at birth, secretly lovers, or have just spent WAY too much time together because appear to share the same brain cell. Friendships are a little more tricky though, because there’s a lot of people one can be friends with, and even close with, but just like with lovers, how do you know THIS friend is the one who’s there forever even if you sometimes drift apart? And it’s a bit of weird line because if a pair does sync up that well and feel like they complete each other, there’s probably the outside pressure that maybe they SHOULD get married and move in together and be perfect and… no. They’re just friends, practically siblings, something “more” than siblings if that’s even possible, but they don’t love each other like that. In fact, it’s perfectly normal in this world for each half of this pairing to marry others but the spouses are in no way surprised when these two disappear for a “girls night out”, camping trips, road trips to sporting events, over at one house or the other almost constantly, meeting for breakfast every Saturday, or whatever it is they like to do together that spouse may or may not have any interest in. And you know what? That’s great if they have someone they can share all of those things with outside the family to get some time away from it all. But… depending on how it’s handled, just like the BFF can be seen as part of each other’s families, there’s just as much risk of maybe getting disconnected from the family. Spouse getting frustrated about the finances on this hobby, or if it seems like they’re being left home a lot, or if the bros are watching tv in the livingroom while wife is being asked to grab things for them so they don’t have to leave the game, or the spouse starts to wonder if there really is more to it than they’re letting on. What secrets do they share? How does it feel knowing you’re never going to fully understand or have that connection like they do with someone else? However, the funny thing is, if the BFFS are already paired, there’s a good chance the spouses also have soulmates they can go out and do fun things with or spend hours on the phone, or go and vent to about lover’s stupid hobbies when they’re frustrated. That is… if they’ve found theirs yet. Which can also lead to the potential dramas where they find their soulmate after they marry, is it romantic? That’s some internal conflict and red flags right there. And potentially opens the way for fics of BFFs where one is just really helping the other out after their lover left them, or trying to keep them from doing something stupid if they were cheated on. 

Lovers: 

In the off chance someone DOES find that their forever and ever is actually a romantic partner, that still doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and sunshine. It just means that their sense of communication and predicting each other’s actions is often on point to a level it can be annoying or hilarious depending on what they do with this knowledge. Like surprises might be hard when they know each other so well to guess what they’re planning or would like to do, but it can be funny when one tries to bring up something and other is totally alright with it because they already knew they were going do that. Word of advice before you run off? It’s also nice that whenever outside stuff is getting to them, they can come home to their spouse and having a deep, meaningful conversation and get some advice without being judged too harshly. Maybe it’s about work, maybe it’s just needing some encouragement, maybe it’s being allowed to be fully vulnerable with their partner when no one else is allowed to see that side of them. But my gosh, when a fight breaks out, it’s usually a case of “you’re both being stupid, stop it” as any of their friends will probably tell them. Because LOVER OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD UNDERSTAND!!! Yes, but BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHY THEY’RE DOING THIS, DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS RECKLESS / STUPID / PETTY AND THEY’RE TRYING TO REASON WITH THEM!! Synchronized huffing and storming off ensues until they can cool down and come back for the forgiveness and heart to heart. This doesn’t take away from poly-ships, but it does make things a bit more complicated when two in the set are ~fated mates~ but they love the other(s) none the less. The other mate may sometimes feel like a third wheel when it seems like they just don’t share that same connection as the two have, and may run into an argument where one storms off and the other half of the soulmates is like “I’ll calm them down / talk to them” to try to patch things, but that only makes it worse. On the other hand, the polys are fun when exploring all the different reasons they may be in this relationship. Maybe there is a triangle, where the soulmates have that connection, sure, they both fell in love with third member here and are more BFFS with each other. Maybe one member in the relationship is more there for physical affection and doesn’t mind the other two going off to their own activities to feed their interests. Maybe poly already knows their soulmate is someone not a lover (like the previous examples) and falling in love with these two (or more) just sort of happened and they never imagined they could still be so happy. Maybe none of them are soulmates and it’s someone with a family ship, someone with a BFF ship, and someone who hasn’t found theirs yet but it doesn’t matter because they’ve found each other while still able to do things with their pairings outside the group. 

A subcategory of this is naturally the ~fated lovers~ who just have all the obstacles in the way. Maybe someone is in love with one and refuses to acknowledge they’re meant for someone else. Maybe it’s a parent who sees who their kid has fallen in love with and ABSOLUTELY FLIPS OUT because look at this punk. Look at this jerk. Look at this unattainable princess that’s going to get you killed trying to reach. Maybe there’s actual obstacles in the way such as distance or borders or hierarchy. But those are the tales we love to see overcome. 

Odd and Maybe Even Unfair:

I’m not sure of a catch all for this category, but basically these are the mixed blessings to find your soulmate only to have a caveat that makes one want to curse whatever god thought that would be funny. 

Like mentor / student. One the one hand, it’s so nice to see tales of a kid who meets the bitter and lonely teacher who ends up changing each other’s lives. Some level of fate brought them together, and something about THIS kid made the old mentor want to take them in and protect them and teach them all they know and become like a second mother / father to them and the kid may be flustered at first but they keep coming back and learn quickly and soon they’re to fight for this once stranger through thick and thin because they have a connection that can’t be understood. But it’s also… weird. Like usually the mentor in question is middle aged or even old and suddenly they’ve found a companion who gives them life and completes them in a way they haven’t thought was even possible for a long, long time, yet at the same time in a world where these kind of meetings are fate, I’m certain there’s a level of swearing at the gods why the mentor should only find such companionship so late. They may have long since given up on ever finding a soulmate or feel like they’ve lived their whole life already getting married, having kids, kids out of the house (usually with a strained relationship in these stories that new kid helps them fix) and NOW the gods have sent them someone to bond with? Not ten, twenty, fifty years ago when they could have enjoyed it? And to have it be someone half, a third, a fourth their age when they find them?? Or the kid to realize while they have someone who they may relate to better than their own family, it’s someone less than ideal, heck total stranger when they met, and likely someone they’re going to outlive. Maybe the outside forces find this weird too. Why does kid keep going to mentor’s place? Is it like a neighbor or gym or after school? Maybe it started as a job but the job is over. Maybe their friends and family don’t like the influence mentor is having on them (like a gang not sure about punishment turning into member is planning on leaving now that mentor has helped them clean up, a parent who thinks what they’re learning is fine as a hobby but now it’s going too far with them wanting to make a career of it, maybe they don’t like the skill being taught in general, ect) In a similar vein is the “suddenly parent” situations where they may have been brought together by crisis, maybe the kid just lost EVERYTHING, and now the adult is flipping out internally because they felt an immediate need to help the kid, but now what? They… have a kid now, as granted to them by fate. Or they have outside obstacles telling them even if they did feel that sudden need to look after them, they need to get back to their family / be turned over to the authorities / go back where they belong but, but, but… … … 

Doomed lovers could be in the above category, but it’s a whole different level of cursing at the gods to have your soulmate only to be ripped apart. Why would they deem you should find your forever and ever only to have it be so short? How are you supposed to keep going when it feels like a part of your soul has died? This may even be on the other side of the cheating coin where it’s not death that keeps them apart but what are they supposed to do if they only found each other too late? When family complications have gotten in the way or old age or when just passing through a city and found a local you’re soon to be ten thousand miles away from? Sure fate deems that everyone will meet their soulmate once in their life, but must it only be this once? What about the enemies to lovers where the love is forbidden by family / country / societal ties and even if they’ve realized they complete each other, they also realize all their meetings may have to be in secret or risk their life for it? Is such a love even worth risking life and limb for? 

Then of course is the complete opposite of the BFFS where they’re not lovers, and don’t become lovers either, but outright nemesis. Different from the enemies to lovers, they genuinely despise each other and just CAN’T figure out why their paths keep crossing unless one is in pursuit of the other. And even then, how does pursuer keep finding them?? Because they know each other, OHHHHH they know each other so well, they could dangerous if they weren’t two sides of the same coin. If one could just convince the other they should be on the same side…. But which side will give in first? The hero to become a villain or the villain to start to redeem themselves? Is there even a hero / villain dynamic or are they both just haughty and dysfunctional and seem evenly matched even as it pisses each other off? Why, WHY would the gods give them a soulmate who shares all of their same interests and seems to understand their mindset but has a twisted perspective when making it sound reasonable when moral compass says it shouldn’t be? Sometimes such a quandary can lead to obsession since they’re attracted to each other and yet it’s maddening that the ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD who fully and truly understands them is someone they can’t stand. 

And of course the “we found them, but at what cost?” Because yes fate has a funny way of getting them together across great distance or across hierarchy or any other circumstance brought up before. But what kind of crazy twist did one have to take to end up there? Like meeting someone in a new land after being forced to flee their home, or tales where they’re part of a captured collective and at least they’ve found companionship or even love to pull them through the ordeal until they can get out of the situation, or maybe they only met because one got badly injured / wounded and found the one to help them / heal them is their destined mate. What of those who only discovered their soulmate after dropping a societal tier due to finances or politics stripping them of their original position? But, um, silver lining, they found something better? 

Forced:

Not really a category, but in one particular world I play with this concept the most in, is the terrifying dark art of soulbinding. This is different from soulmates, because it’s completely unnatural, and brought about by ritual. It breaks things for one, where if one were soulbound, how does that damage things with their actual soulmate if they’ve been tied to another? Not to mention, the connection between these two is almost painful because the mental sync is heightened to a point of control. The point of this practice isn’t for humans though. It’s a means to capture the gods themselves, or try at least, often with terrible consequences. Usually in that the gods don’t take lightly to this and will try to use that tether to take control of the fool arrogant enough to try to command their power. In ancient days it was used as a last resort as a sort of sacrifice to the gods that this puppet be used to harness their power for the sake of the people or the lands, thinking that one who was soulbound actually lost their soul and would die when the vessel was no longer needed, but it was only a matter of time before someone tried to test that to its limits. There’s also a ritual that requires three people, with two being soulbound by The Entity, which in effect also ties to them to each other, and a third who is charged by fate with severing the power when the time is right, but there’s only one surviving case where we see that the tie is never really gone; either to each other, or their secret power source even if the power imbued is greatly diminished. This is the only time marks come up, but it’s not a mark that shows their fate, it’s the mark left by the gods that shows they’ve been taken.

This is way too long, but ahhhhh the strings. Strings everywhere it seems.

i can never write a soulmates au cause i very quickly stop thinking about romance and start thinking about the sociological implications of a world where soulmates are a confirmed verifiable thing