#honestly the only reason i dont them more is bcs im still a lot more comfortable drawing traditionally and im ass at taking pictures

[autumnfangirler]

hello dyvj community. please take this comic of my dimes i made instead of working on the stuff i actually planned on doing today.

[dyke-stuck]

hiii i havent checked on this blog in a while, i thought you were quitting? i dont remember when but i thought you said you were done with this blog :? super glad ur still going but curious if im remembering wrong

i did quit! a decent while ago! but when the 2 year anniversary came around i was like ohhh ill open requests for a little bit... in celebration..! just till the end of the month... surely it wont be that many.... and then it was a Lot. but the current plan is to finish off my current inbox and then dip out again ^_^

[ajearthlinggg]

exposing you based on your fav will wood/wwatt song (my longest post)

A lot of these have nothing to do with the song. They're basically headcannons lmao. My Blake Jennings is showing

No instrumental chnt except Rhumba sorry

i started this in June enjoy

EIAL

6up 5oh copout: its low hanging fruit to say you hate cops, and I'm taking it. You hate cops.

Skeleton Appreciation whatever the fuck: Covid RUINED you

Front Street: you like Heathers

Aikido!: how's that obsessiveness and inability to let go going?

White Knuckle Jerk: you also like nu metal for the same reason. (Its incredibly horny)

Cover This Song: same as Aikido but only with your exes omg do not text them they are assholes

Thermodynamic Lawyer: PLEASE take time to calm down when you get overstimulated I promise if you don't do anything abt it you will have such a terrible mental breakdown

Red Moon: YOU LISTEN TO MALE MANIPULATOR MUSIC STOP TRYING TO HIDE IT YOU CANT BE IN THE RADIOHEAD CLOSET FOREVER

Lysergide daydream: I honestly do not like this song at all so you get a pass (don't kill me)

The First Step: you're usually quiet but you know how to SCREAM.

Jimmy Mushroom: you're usually quiet but- I'm just kidding. You're always quiet

Chemical Overreaction: you're usually quiet but if- I'm just kidding. You are never quiet

Everything is a lot/dte: insomnia. I dont know why,but insomnia

Self-ish

self/ish: closet theatre kid

2012: fast talker to a not comprehendible level

Cotard Solution: turn off the v-sauce it is 2 am

Mr. Capgras: turn off the 🌽 it is 2 am

The Song With Five Names: you have incredible taste. You can't describe that taste, but hey, its incredible

Hand me my shovel: you were the only talented kid in your elementary music class

Dr. Sunshine is Dead: you love the smell of cigarettes

TNA

Suburbia overture: BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD

222: your English teacher loves you (you're so goddamn gay)

Laplace's Angel: your English teacher hates you. How do I know? Because you can't pronounce anything (its la-plass-es not la-place-is)

i/me/myself: you have to beat off the fake fan allegations with a stick everyday

Wbtta: hey queen. How are those hyperfixations going

Outliars and hyppocrates: you spell the title wrong every. damn. time.

bbw: same as 2012 but holy shit triple it.

Marsha, thankk you: dyslexia and ADHD

Love, me normally: I get it. I'm not even gonna expose you. You already have it bad enough

Momento Mori: you are just SO quirky! (knives whisper things to you when you hold them)

Icimi

Tomcat Disposables: you'd shove photos of your pets in your friends faces even if they were dangling off a bridge

Becoming the last names: you either have wonderful parents in a happy relationship or your parents have been divorced for years and you will never relate to this song

Cicada Days: stop using self deprecating humor around the wrong people PLEASE

Euthanasia: this song is a masterpiece I have nothing to say about you.

Falling Up: WONDERFUL TASTE. AMAZING CHOICE. NO RECOLLECTION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD.

That's enough: you love Alex g you just don't know it yet

Um its kind of a lot: you either already love Scott pilgrim or it will happen. Its a canon event

Half decade hangover: omg twinn!! I have an addictive personality, too!

(I feel like this is a good time to say don't take these too seriously)

You liked this: ...what?

The main character: you can't relate to the song, you hate yourself

Sdrr: IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON TAKING THIS SONG SUPER SERIOUSLY IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT YDHZJABXV

Bfb: ur just a silly lil guy

Willard!: you're a therian. There is no human explanation to this.

white noise: you love pink floyd you just don't know it yet

Atkf: HOW TF DID I FORGET THIS ONE anyways you get bad habits (nail biting, staying up too late. Etc)

CHNT

Yes to err: you are still waiting for chnt season 2 BC you want to see what happens with Adam

Your body, my temple: I have a strong feeling you have a tummy ache right now

Venetian Blind Man: you love nobody sexually you just don't know it yet (this is a very ace choice idk why)

Rhumba of Death: you LOVE Halloween

When Somebody Needs You: Tyler the Creator is probably your favorite rapper

Live

Trww

Self/ish: You can't sleep if your room has the SLIGHTEST amount of light in it

10-4 6-up: unlike the original, you don't just hate cops, you hate anybody who can tell you what to do (your teachers are probably just trying to do their job. please)

Cotards Solution: you can't sleep without background noise

Dr Sunshine Lives!: You never get sick physically (mentally on the other hand...)

Where do you get off: omg the horniest of the horny. Gerard Way on stage levels of horny. Nine Inch Nails levels of horny. (Or you really like Umbrella Academy idk why)

Aikido: you can't relate to it. You hate everybody

Take a break grab some water this is getting long

Thermodynamic Lawyer: you have gotten kicked out of restaurants because of how loud you are

Front Street: WE GET IT. IT'S BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL.

Wasting away again: I am so sorry holy shit

Hand me my (x), I'm (y): you suck at algebra

The First Step: you wish you could do the AUGHHHHHHHH

2012: severe social anxiety

Mr capgras: literally the opposite of 2012 (live)

Chemical Overreaction: you know so many random fun facts

Fibrodysplasia: I'm not even gonna talk about your mental issues because I will be banned from this app (which is pretty much impossible)

Icid

Cicada Days: you also get a pass fuck I'm so sorry

The main character okay you ACTUALLY can relate to it

Icimi: OMG I LOVE YOU

atkf: you cry every day even if you aren't sad

Becoming the last names: please don't become a Disney adult

Vampire ref: LISTEN TO MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF AND IK YOU LOVE HOT VAMPIRE MUSIC

Half decade hangover: oh my god talk to somebody it'll be okay I'm so sorry

Tsw5n: you love the way he says "what the fuck"

Euthanasia: once again, ANOTHER PASS. IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY

Jimmy Mushrooms: You. Me. Marriage. Now.

Laplaces Angel: you listen to LitWTC

i/me/myself: you were trying to separate yourself from the normal i/me/myself fans

The first step: idk why but you REALLY like lemonade

skeleton appreciation day: you can NOT play any instrument

tomcat disposables: you love concept albums

White noise: unlike cotards, you need to sleep in SILENCE

Love me normally: arctic monkeys. that's all I have to say. idk what about them but, yeah

misanthrapologist: GAY QUEER LGBT HOMOSEXUAL FRUITY ZESTY ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER

Falling up: wonderful taste once again please don't become a Disney adult

thats enough let's get you home: you say "YIPPIE!!" a lot

And if I did: god made you shy because he knew if you weren't you would be unstoppable

[whenishipiluxurycruiseit]

After reading some twts about how the reveal should not affect the kaishin fandom bc of how old it is and how most old shippers had the suspicion of kaishin being related and proceeded to not care and accept and even ship them more leads me to the acceptance stage and the realization stage where this is all fiction and not true thus it will not affect anyone greatly and most of us should realize this too HAHAHA

I mean i had my suspicions too ya know but like i was expecting them to be distantly related not this closely related gahdang gosho JAGDHSHS also i was kinda closing my eyes when i saw how similar toichi and yuusaku looked like when i saw them so AHDGSHS lovelies lets just think that the reveal made the ship spicer that ever

Kaishin may be cousins and what? Its fiction, this ship is old, there are even more worse ships than this, will this hurt anyone? No (unless ur really in deep like delusional deep), will this change the world? No, will this affect your daily life? No, will this change your morals? For me no, cause i know they are not real, why on earth would they change my morals.

Honestly its not just kaishin, there are a lot of ships with this kind of relationship, and other shippers must realize the fact that they are not real and no one will get hurt. If you get disturbed by the fact that we ship cousins/twins/siblings then you may close your eyes and move one to the other post, im not like validating this bc in the real and current world this may seem disturbing but everyone must know the difference between real and fiction, do not do what fiction do but you may learn what fiction do, just put it at the back of your head as an additional knowledge and the possibility that some other people might mix up fiction and real life.

Anyways so much for the monologue JAGSHS

THE REVEAL FIRED ME UP INTO MAKING ANOTHER PROMPT YEEEEY

Like im not even focusing abt how kaishin is cousins anymore but at why toichi did that to his son, what is incest compared to betrayal (not rlly cause kaito still didnt know hes alive BUT STILL THATS HIS KID??? HIS CHILD IN THE EYES OF DANGER?? AND HE LET HIS CHILD DO THAT?? BOY?)?

Like i know he protects kaito at the side (it was on magic kaito 1412 i forgot what episode) but he protects kaito with kaito experiencing trauma bc how tf how dare u use my dead dads face you traitor like that like bro??

I dont even also think that chikage knew that her husband is alive, only yuusaku (like wow cute they mustve been such close siblings but thats not the point) knows that hes alive and yuusaku probs only also knows cause hes yuusaku and yuusaku knows everything in just once glance for some weird ass reason

ANYWAYS SO

My prompt is that (please know that some of the characters are ooc!!! Esp the parents cause they dont show much wth JAGDHSH also ill put in a oc for plot purposes WAHSGAHSGA)

Shinichi, still as conan, was in a pinch and was suddenly saved by a mysterious guy. Whom he thought was like akai san but he sensed someone different like.. KID? No.. dad??

Toichi who saw a kid who looked like his nephew when he was a child is being chased by men in black (who suspiciously looked like snake for some reason but snake doesnt wear shades in the dark cause thats a foolish move) decided to help him and lose the pursuers off his back

“Boya are you ok?” “…..(hmm? What is this feeling.. i feel like i’ve met him somewhere but..)” “boya?” “Ah! Un! Thank you uncle!”

Toichi suddenly thought of shinichi when he heard conans voice saying uncle, it sounds just like 10 yrs ago when he visited yuusakus house to teach yukiko the art of disguise

Toichi then took conan to his guardians when he found out that his parents was in america apparently (1) and he also found out that his guardians were the mouris (2) which was 2 points of suspicion which wasnt that bad but just weird cause why didnt his younger brother tell anything, not that that shit tells him anything at all. Adding to the fact that he has not seen his attention loving smart nephew in the news for a while now then pops out a child that looks like him makes the suspicion highly likely. (Their family kinda has a knack for attracting dangerous orgs, from what he seen to himself and his son, he just hopes his younger brother and nephew didnt get it (which was highly unlikely now too))

Consider his suspicions correct when his younger brother decides to okay dumb (he knows ok, theyre twins for a reason and hes a older brother for a reason) the problem now was which shady org was it and how much does his nephew and younger brother know….

2 weeks later he found out

Apparently he wasnt the only one suspicious of someone

His, (knew it), dear shrunken nephew was too! Bc of one comment from mouri kun (have we met somewhere before?) and his suspicions were proven right when he saw yuusakus phone lying around with his message on the notif screen

(Toichis so proud, thats my nephew, be nosy kid you will go far in life)(it made his nephew cute too 🥰)

and color him suprised when his nephew has a shady org at his back too (he was kinda hoping that his nephew only stumbled on the scene of the crime that was he was chased not being a victim himself sighs the family curse)

and toichi and his nephew (whom just found out they were related with the first kaitou kid, who was supposed to be dead) made an alliance! (it kinda feels good to not only have one person know about your secrets, it also makes him relieved that his nephew has a lot of trusted people at his back other than some bigass shady org)

it also makes toichi happy that his son could be himself (not just kaitou kid but really being kaito his son whom he left with his wife toprotecttonotpullintothismessbutthey-) with his cousin

his son was inlove with his cousin

oh shit

yuusaku why did we not let them meet again

how he found out? he got the front seat

with snake

but does that really matter

(is akai kun included when hes so far away from the build the confession was happening)

(akai kun just shoot snake pls)

then it all went to shit (from his perspective cause wdym kaito did not even notice snake was there so its ok uncle shinichi kun did u also not notice my mental breakdown too)

they apprehended snake, and found out he was just some lackey in the black org and wanted to be the same lvl as gin so hes chasing after some immortality granting stone (yea hes not gonna be on the same lvl as gin hes stupid says his dear cutified nephew)

he told his younger brother about the confession

his younger brother knew all along ever since he caught kaito sneaking in their house to leave a jewel that he stole and saw him caress shinichis face.. yuusaku told him with the face of did u really not see that coming, we never let them meet when they were old enough to remember.

like valid? but at least share the tea gahdang

yukiko also knows? brother? i thought bros before hoes? (he nearly got mauled to death by his mystery loving younger brother, bc how dare you call my wife a hoe? ur the hoe u *spits real talk that hurts*)

after yuusaku hurt him internally he has come to the fact that yea he was worse than his son.. (also who can blame him, shinichi kun has yukikos genes (not that his darling wife is any less beautiful than yukiko, his wifes beauty came from being reckless and he likes that in his woman sighs i miss my wife) and their reckless genes so, with his wifes beautiful and shiny loving gene with his reckless loving gene, shinichi, conan, his nephew was the perfect person for his son. not ignoring the fact that shinichi kun is also a very understanding person. his nephew grew a lot (internally cause well.. he shrunk physically))

and now shinichi is looking at him weirdly

no way

did he not hear his sons confession

"shin kun... what did you think about what my son said to you?" "hm? ah that chase?... isnt it just a chase? oh im sorry uncle if i hurt kaito, it was needed to make it look convincing haha, i dont plan on capturing him rn dw!" "... oh! its ok shin kun ^^"

it was not okay, how does his nephew not notice his sons confession to him? (his son was a child of two phantom thieves, making a heist even grander than it already is shows that his son is courting his nephew SO HOW TF- oh, oh yuusaku just told him that every heist shinichi went to was always that grand so he might not see the difference? oh. oh my gosh.)

how to break this to his son who thought his father was dead

yuusaku just smiled (useless asshole, just bc hes still close to his son even though his son is in another identity now and can still pretend to be his new sons identities father bc of the disguising art that toUICHI HIMSELF TAUGHT HIM)

shinichi kun said to wait till evrything was over, or wait till the black org is down cause he will help explain too cause he hid it too after knowing his undeadness (at least his nephew was helpful, might be yukikos gene)

"you know, ever since i met kaitou kid, i knew that i might need his help to bring this org down, but i never knew that it would be the first kaitou kid that will help me hehe"

his nephew is so cute (yep its yukikos genes, yuusaku could never be like that anymore, still regrets the day where he showed off to his younger brother his magician skills)

the org was brought down but the antidote for shinchis problem still hasnt been made but time is an essence they need to reveal the truth to his family now or it might get worse

family reunion time! :DDDDDDDDD

shinichi went to get his son and wife while he and his younger brother prepares his execution letter

(if u wanna know how shinichi went to get kaito and chikage pls comment! ill write it up on the other post)

"yukiko chan can u-" "nope"

"yuusaku istg id u dont help me we're twins for a reason if i die you die too" "fk u" (helps him)

then it all went to shit (pt 2) (shinichi kun can see it now too, toichi thinks even hakase next door can feel it)

his son did not walk out bc of shinichi kun ("kaito, listen to you father please, you know my situation, its kind of the same but in your fathers case, you are ran" "at least you were close to her!" "does it really matter when all she saw was conan not shinichi?" "but-!" "kaito, the woman i love is slipping before my eyes because i cant go to her like before now! everytime i go back to my body temporarily all i think about is how she will get hurt if the organization realizes i was one of the victims they failed to kill and will go after her and her family and friends! there are numerous people in the org who already knew about my real identity, they mightve been killed or decided to not tell about it but there is no saying they might decide to not do the opposite!"

[toorumlk]

Harry/Ginny

AH HINNY!

oh man, i oscillate between really liking hinny one day and feeling completely indifferent towards them the next.

hinny might be the relationship i like the most for harry, and it's all because because of the family aspect. through marriage w ginny, harry officially became a weasley family member. and, of course he always was one, but he actually is a weasley on paper and i think having that in writing would mean a lot to harry. and my golden trio heart can't not mention that by hinny being married - ron and hermione are literally harry's brother and sister (in-law) now and !!!!! that just makes my heart melt (i know those two were always harry's family but bc of the aforementioned reason, etc. you get it)

so right off the bat, when i try to organize my more positive thoughts on hinny, i'm mostly focused on how the relationship best serves harry, and only harry. and this is where my frustrations with the ship begins: it's so hard to think the other way around because ginny's narrative purpose is just to be harry's ideal love interest, instead of being a fully fleshed character. i really love ginny with all her spunk and feistiness, but she's so underutilized. she had a cute crush on him in the start of the series which was adorable, but her character was inarguably just "ron's younger sister". and after she gets possessed by volde/gets saved from the CoS by harry, she still continues to have a puppy-love crush on harry until OoTP!!! GAAHHHH!!! Apparently joanne said hinny were always meant to be soulmates and i think if these two had a consistent "invisible string" motif throughout the series, it would've been so good (and almost as good as romione's slow burn). So...

here's how i'd fix hinny (lmao):

i wouldve made the ginny a much more prominent character in PoA and beyond.

we get to see hinny actually have heart-to-hearts about the incidents of CoS - for ginny to play such an IMPORTANT role in the titular plotline of the second book, then to just have her blend into the background afterwards just boggles my mind - that was the perfect oppurtunity to make ginny an invaluable character in the cast. she has this huge experience in common with harry - being personally victimized by voldemort - that harry doesn't have w ron or hermione at that point and it would've been so nice to see harry find an equal, a confidant in ginny from then on - like, dont let the readers forget that harry and ginny have this huge thing in common, have it be with us in the back of our heads the whole time!

start the hinny romance subplot fr fr in GoF

the potential of ginny being a maybe date for harry to the yule ball, harry feeling jealousy towards neville for getting to dance and spend time w ginny and harry being like "wait a minute! i'm supposed to crush on cho! im jealous of neville??" that wouldve been FUN - again, they couldve been a less insane version of romione hello

having the hinny subplot unravel in tandem with harry's crush and relationship with Cho in ootp

in ootp, you can argue that the story attempts to make a foil between cho and ginny's characters but if that were the case, it could've done a way better job of it

with harry's relationship w cho - harry likes her bc she's cool and pretty but she wants to connect with him through their connection via cedric and his death, which is off the bat a hugely touchy/traumatic topic for both of them and cho couldn't possibly fathom what it's like to be in the presence of voldemort/tom but guess which other character does ehehe...

now we're at hbp and this is where the good stuff starts bc if i'd had it my way, we'd have gotten their friendship in poa and two books of solid romantic build-up up until now

i honestly had a such a fun time with hinny in hbp, ginny in her OWL year being so cool and harry's hugeass crush on her- harry being a hormonal teenager was hilarious to read like its implied that harry is having increasingly inappropriate thoughts about her throughout the novel and theyre just intercut with "BUT RON-" that's some good shit

my one gripe w hbp's hinny is that i wish we actually got to see their dates sneaking around hogwarts, finding the perfect hideaways for makeout sessions, etc etc i know hp wasn't a romance fantasy by any means but imagine how swoony it wouldve been if we got to actually see these sunset dates instead of just being told about them - it wouldve been cathartic to actually see harry actually live the life of a normal teen boy before everything fell apart lol

if we got all these invisible string moments between them throughout the series, harry thinking about ginny and how good it felt to kiss her lips before he walks to his death in DH would've felt so much more earned

from a storytelling perspective, the case with hinny begs the question of if you can have a love interest for the jesus figure of your narrative? can you make a believable, grounded and balanced love story for the chosen one? i honestly think so but then you'd have to put equal amounts of effort and work into creating two nuanced characters and unfortunately we don't see that effort be put in ginny's character and that's why harry's endgame falls short for so many people. earlier, i said that this is the ship i like most for harry, but honestly that isn't saying a lot - i think with an almost saint-like character like harry, its hard to imagine a satisfying love and partnership for this kid. i like tomarry as a ship for when im feeling a bit insane but other than that, my main harry ship is him with a lifetime of peace and healing.

i also want to argue that hinny was never meant to be a primary romance in this story - the main romance/love story in the series is ron and hermione's and i think joanne's romance prowess all went into romione and i'm so thankful for that because i think it makes for better story (also i'm totally biased)

i also cant not mention the freudianess of it all with hinny, right? like god freud would Love hinny bc what do you mean they look identical to jily, what is going on here. that and the fact they had their first kid at 22/23 years old like my god, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING you should be at the club!!!!! i do dig the failmarriage vibes they were serving in TCC, also.

[creatorbiaze]

im p tired bc it's past midnight but i had an idea. Honestly just gonna type out my entire thought process so it makes somewhat more sense

So I remembered the 1960 something singing robot & that people have said it was creepy, tbh i think it's partially bc it's Just Off Enough from human speech & in Just The Right pitch to just seem inexplicably odd. Dare I say almost an uncanny effect.

The uncanny valley is my favorite phenomenon in which humans just get Inexplicably Creeped Out by things that're Almost human but Just Wrong Enough that it's obvious there's something wrong. Probably developed as a way to keep humans away from sick or dead things so We don't get sick too.

currently the most common uncanny valley phenomenon is robots & androids.

which reminded me of Ortho. The pretty-close-to-human android. Now I don't know which is scarier; Idia being so insanely good at making androids & robots that Ortho just. doesn't. uncanny valley. despite not having many visibly robotic parts. Or if in-universe everyone's just mildly creeped out by him due to Uncanny.

But , i wonder if Twst even HAS uncanny valley. I mean, there's several Almost Human specieses. Faes, Mers, Beastmen, etc etc. And cursed humans like Idia. So would twst have even developed the uncanny valley effect to the degree we do? I mean, if it was developed to keep us away from Sick Things it definitely still developed, but maybe less so. the oddities are Not Sickness.

Or what if it DID develop the same for various reasons, including an ancient reason TO fear the Almost Humans? Faes in most mythology are dangerous tricksters, Mers & Sirens kill, Beastmen are Visibly not human too, Cursed People could possibly get us targeted, etc.

Maybe being consistently surrounded by the Almost Humans makes it lessen a ton, so 2nd+ years at universities like NRC or just societies where the species interact a lot in general just. dont get creeped out anymore.

Or maybe only Yuu/the MC gets Uncanny Valley'd bc Not From Here. The fear of the Unknown, which the Almost Humans most certainly are, AND the uncanny valley effect is.. not fun to deal with.

Faes are Too Perfect, too elegant, too beautiful, too Flawless. there's something wrong.

Beastmen are just human enough that their animal features are wrong. There's something Not Human in their appearance and Instinctive actions and yet they look so close to humans and act so human. It's not right.

Potions aren't always perfect. The octa trio still act like mers yet they look perfectly human, or maybe they still have slight imperfections; the Tweels have way too sharp teeth, after all. Are they safe?

Idia's... wrong. He's off. He looks Visibly Wrong and he's been around death and Blot for so long that his behavior is subtly wrong too. You're not making it up, right?

and what the hell is Ortho? He's not human but he's none of the Almost Humans either. He acts too human but he still reverts back to code. he doesn't make sense.

And yet even with this instinctive distrust and fear of the others, Yuu still goes out of their way to save them, to help them, to Know them. Yet the feeling of wrongness never goes away.

And maybe it goes both ways. Yuu is not right, they're just off enough from even the normal humans of NRC that everyone can tell they aren't from here at all. An imposter, a false thing, wrong.

of course, twst wouldn't go into uncanny valley territory in canon bc Disney and Its Not Horror; sure plenty of characters have dark or sad back stories but its fun and humorous. But damn the uncanny valley is fun to think about

[definitelynotshouting]

fic writer interview!

shamelessly yoinking from @karliahs bc this looks fun as hell to do :]

How many works do you have on AO3?

32 fics total, between my main and rough draft pseud!! which feels like a really small amount, honestly-- i think my private WIPs list is MUCH higher 😂😂😂😂 if we're counting my very first (and very abandoned) ao3 acct too, then that number is bumped up to 35!!

What's your total AO3 word count?

163,211, and a good 65k of that was written this year somehow??? according to my statistics ._. lowkey crazy to think about

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

paid for it with all of my blood (BNHA | 8,452)

at times so self destructive (BNHA | 4,554)

lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) (HC/LIFE | 3,618)

or we can just have conversation (MSA | 1,834)

the art of rawgabbitry (BNHA | 1,609)

if youve been following me since my bnha fics in 2018 you deserve a veteran's discount

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to answer every single comment i got, honestly, unless it came by years after i posted it-- the only reason i dont as much anymore is because it gets REALLY overwhelming for me to respond to everyone after the initial barrage 😅😅 the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak etc etc. but i do read every comment and appreciate them SO SO MUCH, and whenever i find one particularly moving or want to just reassure people im still working on something i'll respond to those :]

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

not counting the wips that just never got finished and left off before their main shit could resolve, id say at times so self destructive (BNHA)-- i mean i LITERALLY ended it with izuku potentially dying 😭😭😭😭

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

tbh i dont think i write happy endings so much as i write hopeful, bittersweet, or open-ended ones-- i tend to like catharsis more than fluff when it comes down to it. but out of my fluff fics i think honey it's starting to storm (HC) is one of the genuinely sweetest ive written. my runner-ups on that would probably be when the smoke does finally pass (TMA) and or we could just have conversation (MSA) :]

Do you write crossovers?

not typically, and ive never published any, but i am definitely not immune to them 😂😂😂😂 i think my most niche crossover ive actually written (never to see the light of day) was a Nine Lives of Chloe King and Supernatural fic that was the definition of self-indulgent rot. only a little less niche than that was a Mortal Instruments and Supernatural crossover (theres a running theme here lol) lying in snippets on an ancient google doc in my oldest gmail acct. reread that one recently and its shockingly coherent for being written in like. 2016. id even call it decent (though theres a lot id change up if i were writing it now)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

idk if it'd be considered hate but once i wrote a fic inspired by someone else's when i was very new to ao3, let them know (i didnt know about the "inspired by" option back then), and they got mad at me in my comments section because in their words, "its better than mine" 😭😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥💥

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YOU COULD SAY THAT

as for what kind, honestly whatever strikes my fancy-- usually character/relationship studies, or just a fun focus on character intimacy. love 2 be asexual<3 love 2 write asexual sex<3

i had a discussion with my qpp recently about how in all honesty the smut i write is pretty tame, its just the character emotions written behind it that makes it feel a bit deranged. smth smth scarian is a chemical explosion. u understand

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!!!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeppers!! the art of rawgabbitry (BNHA) received a translation to Russian, which i always found a bit funny because rawgabbitry is. one of my least favorite works ive ever written, if only for the type of comments it tended to receive back in the day 😭😭😭😭

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

ive never managed it honestly-- i get a bit precious about my process, which can make it hard to collaborate on that level. but its something ive always wanted to grow enough as a writer to try :]

What's your all-time favorite ship?

not so much of a singular OTP type of guy as i have favorite pairings per fandom im in-- that being said rn its scarian :P

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

pretty much all of my dsmp wips honestly. i may surprise myself someday, but for now i just have zero urge to actually finish any of them

What are your writing strengths?

like my pal karliahs im gonna rip these from the comments ive received 😅😅😅 but id definitely say imagery is my strongest skill!! i have a very strong imagination, and tend to see fic scenes as movie scenes in my head which i then transcribe into written format. id like to say im also really skilled at characterization and realistic dialogue that captures character voices very well!! and frankly i just love emotional realism so much i cant NOT write it, its always leaking into everything i do

What are your writing weaknesses?

i tend to get a little too funky and abstract with my descriptions sometimes-- that can work for some scenes, but grounding everything so that it feels more real and makes actual sense to the reader is something i often have to do on the second, third, and final passes

also to every person who has to crack open a thesaurus to understand what i write, i am so fucking sorry😭💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

no thoughts beyond if its not a language you're proficient in you should probably get that checked over by a native speaker, just in case :P

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

fairy tail..... ff.net was a dark place

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

crying sobbing wailing as i desperately beg my brain to start writing that post-canon siffrin and odile relationship study. unfortunately i dont think i can have more than one longfic on my docket at a time so it shrimply must wait

What's your favorite fic you've written?

to the surprise of absolutely nobody, i'd have say lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) (HC/LIFE) :]

No obligation, but im tagging: @raichett, @kayawolfhorse, @boonbeenblade, @sillyfairygarden, and @grimfey !!! And anyone else who wants to do this ofc :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️

[thatdeadaquarius]

Reader that can emit sounds from their memory(like as an aura)

Walk into a room? Why do I hear boss music

Comedic timing? Fuck yeah.

Bored? Jumpscare noise.

Zhongli talking? Jeopardy theme.

Someone is annoying? Earrape.

Think about it!

Hello! I’m the 12th Harbinger, aka as CHIL- bitch shut the fuck up, WHATS UP ITS YA BOY AQUARIUSSS- /ref

lmao imagine you walking into a room like this in teyvat, with like that audio I SAVE BY GIVING IT CPR- TIGHT AS VIRGIN BOY DONT GET NERVOUS-

(also ill stop apologizing for the late replies to these, bc as we all know by now that im slow and u will get answered eventually i promise tumblr most likely didnt delete u guys asks im just hoarding them LMAO)

I’ve been super busy running in circles so sorry about ghosting! I still very much enjoy and love u guys and love seeing you guys enjoy my stuff :’) 

Still cant believe that, but thank you!

JEOPARDY THEME MUSIC WHEN ZHONGLI TALKS

HE’D BE SO CONFUSED

THINKIN HE GOT AN ANCIENT CURSE HE DOESNT KNOW ABT PUT ON HIM OR SMTH BC HE’S ALWAYS BEING STALKED BY THIS SONG-

(tbh unless the person is super observant I dont think most ppl would get that it’s YOU causing this chaos lmao)

◇

Like I can see Zhongli eventually getting it lol, other ppl I could see after the first few weeks of interacting with you (esp bc you mix it up, honestly it was only bc u kept playing the jeopardy theme over and over when Zhongli ranted on too long that he got it was you 💀):

Heizou (he’s the best detective on all of Inazuma’s islands, ofc he got it! no he will not acknowledge that he totally thought you were hiding a very musical tanuki somewhere on your person at all times lol)

◇

Alhaitham and Cyno (haitham took like, two hours of walking around town with you and knew, bc he’s a little know-it-all lazy bastard like that, and Cyno is actually just really aware, despite what most ppl think, he’s the General Mahamatra and not just a regular Mahamatra for a reason after all)

◇

Tighnari (i stg he can like, smell when bullshittery is happening in his vicinity …or... hear?)

◇

Venti (unsurpringly, he’s totally in love with this power of yours, i mean he definitely loves you cares about you a lot he says, but you’re starting to think he’s just lying to butter you up into pranking Diluc, Barbara, Jean, and really the entirety of Mondstadt more often  including Zhongli just so he can laugh until he’s on the ground again, also he definitely once asked you to make a dragon sound that’s the equivalent of shouting FUCK at Dvalin when he was flying overhead one day)

◇

Hmm

Hm hm hmmmm

Who elseee, i need a characcctterrr lisstttt…

Albedo (duh, he’s albedo, you think he has an entirely too thick folder dedicated to your recent obsessions, you rant a lot about it while playing and also he can access your browsing history 👀, and he somehow doesn't know that about you?? You’re like, literally one of his long-term, there-for-life, has-bought-a-house-for-free-in-his-head-you- arent-even-on-rent-anymore, hyperfixations or special interests. Autistic!Albedo is autistic, Because I Am Your God, And I Say It Is So.)

◇

Dehya (always knows when its you walking around near her bc you like to listen to your old world’s songs too often when you arent pranking bitches, she actually rlly likes it and your music tastes…)

☆

HOLY FUCK SPEED RUN BC GOD THERE’S TOO MANY BITCHES WANNA BE YOUR BABY, RIDING AROUND IN A DAMN MERCEDES-

OKAY-

SO not all in the same way or at the same time, or even the same length of time did they realize you literally change background music or some shit so I’ll let you just- you know okay- like you get it- you get it.

Xiao, Kazuha, Kaeya, Diluc, Ayato, Yae Miko, Keqing, Qiqi, Klee, Sara, Kuki, Nahida, Ningguang, Rosaria, Scaramouche/Babygirl, Dainsleif, Kokomi, Xinyan, Yun Jin, Yelan. 

Jfc got the whole damn pride flag up here

Anyway everybody else outta luck, at least takes em a month or longer to get it lol

♡

Sorry abt the end there i didnt feel like writing out all those bitches bc the few I did before were already longer than I thought they’d be…

Also, I am posting these spam of drafts (and that old follower 100+ event possession headcanons in prep for the next 2 weeks bc I will be really busy, again :/

Got spring break shenanigans this week, then I’ll be running around like a cat with zoomies bc im getting ready to install/actually submit my artworks for the gallery exhibition! 

…wish me luck or prayers or anything good from any god you believe in, I need the strength. 

With love, safe travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[feudalmerengue]

I was too bored last night and decided to torture myself watching yashajime.

and i thought: well i hate yashajime too much but i dont even remember half of the stuff that happened so why not revisit it

oh man ... it is actually that bad

under the cut my review of the first 3 eps

The first ep is good. Its the animated epilogue of Inuyasha, and you can tell that was written by Rumiko.

The character interactions are beautiful. All of them act accordantly to all the grow and maturity they had at the end of the series, its never a step back on the character development and i appreciate it. Miroku never touches someone else's butt, Inuyasha and Kagome dont get into a stupid fight and they actually talk abt their problems, and over all you can tell everyone has grown up to this point.

i haven't read the manga version of the epilogue so idk if this actually happened (bc i wouldnt be surprised if Sunrise decided to include this just for drama) but there's a lot of mentions of Kikyo and she feels like a hunting ghost all throughout the ep and i personally dont like that they still involve her even after all the time that has pasted since her death. yes she was one of the most important characters and we wouldnt have Inuyasha without her but cant she just rest in peace?

so this becomes a small problem between Inuyasha and Kagome. Inuyasha feels uncomfortable w the mention of her and is scared that Kagome will get mad at him for getting Kikyo involved on this, Kagome feels that Inuyasha is hiding stuff from her and just wants him to trust her a little more. and i think its more than normal that the whole Kikyo situation still a little taboo between them but i rlly liked that none of them felt insecure abt their relationship bc of this

And our favorite married couple resolves this TALKING. THEY USE WORDS AND COMMUNICATE AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM. NO YELLING. NO MAKING EACH OTHER FEEL BAD. NO ABUSE OF THE SIT COMMAND (well there is a sit that is just there to check the box but its not even Kagome yelling at him or anything. it feels more like "alright on the script says 'u have to sit Inuyasha at least once in the ep' so lets just get it done")

u can tell that Rumiko cooked in there.

Look at them they were born for each other <3333

And thats it. thats the best yashajime is going to get.

Eps 2 and 3 are just the introduction to the protagonist and introduction to the conflicts??? but its more like a bunch of information they r trying to force down ur throat. the only conflict i actually care abt is wtf happened to their parents

on those two eps they introduce us with 8 different conflicts (yes i counted them) not including all the new characters. IN TWO EPS. I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT REMEBER HALF OF THAT AT THE END OF THE EP, I HAD TO GO BACK AND WATCH SOME PARTS AGAIN BC IT WAS TOO MUCH

and i get that this series is going to be way shorter than Inuyasha, therefore they need to introduce everything quicker, but Sunrise that was a little too much.

Honestly i would have preferred that they didnt animate the epilogue if that was going to give them more time to present us the characters.

which leads me to my second point THE FUCKING CHARACTES. there is not a single one of them that i like (not even my baby girl Moroha)

Towa: I have the most problems with her. U are telling me that she is having a hard time in the modern era bc she is a hanyo and she is always getting into fights, fights that she is actively picking on, and she cant use her powers. but those problems (im sorry if this sounds bad) look like nothing to me. She is the one getting in trouble and she decides to get into those fights. its not like Inuyasha where we see him being bullied for doing nothing, just bc he looked and was different. and this is something that also bothers me, i dont see a reason why towa would get bullied theres nothing on her appearance that would indicate she is not human. no ear no nothing different, the white hair will just make her one of the cool kids.

Now her powers, OH MY FUCKING GOD SUNRISE WTF IS WRONG W U

u r telling me that she never had the necessity to actually use her powers and all that she did was jump fences and punch bad guys AND SHE IS ABLE TO CREATE A SWORD OF HER OWN USING HER YOUKAI ENERGY ?!?!?!

yes she is the daughter of the great lord Sesshomaru but NOT EVEN HIM WAS ABLE TO DO THAT UNTIL THE END OF THE SERIES. HE GETS BAKUSAIGA AFTER CENTURIES OF USING HIS POWERS AND TOWA WHO ONLY JUMPED FENCES CAN DO IT. not even Setsuna who has an actual training and does use her powers can do that.

Setsuna: she is just a copy paste of Sesshomaru, she doesnt have her own personality.

Moroha: Sunrise writers asked chat gpt "inuyasha's personality" and they got something like "inmature, impulsive, cocky" and just went w it but up to 100.

Yes Sunrise even though she is covered in red from head to toe i can definitely tell that she is Inuyasha's daughter no need to make her "female Inuyasha". Her entire personality is "more immature and childish Inuyasha", yes Inuyasha was immature and could be childish from time to time BUT NOT LIKE THIS. and not even the argument of " well she is younger and probably Inuyasha was like this when he was her age" can be used bc she is 14 and when Inuyasha was sealed to the tree he was 15. she grew up alone, in the Sengoku period where there was constante wars all the time, and she could even relate to the hanyos AND SHE IS THIS STUPID

Moroha is way better in the fanfics

Mei is insufferable, and u seriously r trying to convince my that Hisui and Kohaku dont know who Moroha and Setsuna r?

the only good things were the music, Kaoru Wada is simply a genius, and the character design which is pretty good.

but thats it. and genuinely tried to not be so harsh on it but its actually as bad as i remember it

also this

what the actual fuck

hate u Sunrise <3

[magpod-confessions]

Honestly i wanna hear opinions on season 4, cus im gonna confess i could NOT finish it (didnt move on to season 5 either lol). Got to like ep 135 & i just couldnt tell any of the episodes apart it felt like such a drag; just a slog of misery with some offhand Important 5 Minutes once in a blue moon. I hate repetition & i got the sparknotes from fandom/wiki stuff so yeahhh i just stopped listening; i still love TMA & it’s story & characters, it’s just the execution that got to me RIP

Everything felt kinda forced to me ig? Like there was some shoe-horned “humans are more monstrous than the actual monster” that snuffed S1 Jon’s fun cockiness/jackassery just to make him ? The best one in the archive ??? & all of his wrongdoings are either off-screen or justified by him being tricked into becoming a literal monster against his will (who would STARVE w/o his ‘evil-doings’, which didnt even kill ppl). Also felt like everyone got needlessly dumbed down except for Martin (the Love Interest ofc, who got 180’d from his pre-established incompetency to be some mastermind in a playing field he should have REALLY been inept in) just so they’d be blind to Jon’s situation & be mean to him LMAO

They started trying to make Jon accountable for “choosing this” & i couldnt handle it, held no fucking water to me—the guy being explicitly puppetted & manipulated as the entire plot? That guy is expected to take responsibility here? Felt like some after-thought theme they threw on top of it all. Anyways uhh feel free comment either on what i said and/or your personal thoughts on the season, or nothing if ya got nothing lol

🗣️

Ehh disagree. S4 isnt my fav but I dont think its bad. S1 Jon to s4 jon feels like natural character progression to me. He starts as acting all high and mighty to try hide the fact he has no idea what hes doing and is terrified, and then experiences a lot of ppl dying that he feels is due to him and is his responsibility. At that point his thought pattern is 'I keep messing up and making mistakes and getting myself and everyone around me hurt, so other ppl surely know better'. Hes got a lot of black and white thinking around him, which has been consistent throughout his entire characterization

I dont think any characters were dumbed down either

Melanie was always angry, she only go worse bc she had smth making her think everything she did was justified and when that stopped she became avoidant and stopped lashing out. She was still angry, just managing it better

Basira has always been Daisys no1, the person to justify all of Daisys actions. She knows what daisy did and why its bad but she holds onto the idea that daisy is right in doing so. She blames jon for what he does bc logically she knows its wrong, hurting ppl who havent done anything is wrong, but still excuses daisy bc she needs to. Bc that was a fact of her life and it cannot be wrong. In the unknowning she focuses on facts to keep her grounded and to her 'Daisy is a good person' 'Hurting ppl is wrong' and 'If you hurt ppl you are a bad person' are all facts she needs in her life to stay grounded. How she justifies Daisys actions is by saying that the ppl who daisy hurt were worse and it ultimately helps more ppl to have them gone. Not only can she not do that with Jon, as she believes those he hurts are entirely innocent, she also doesnt care to. Shes not close with Jon and she doesnt have 'Jon is a good person' as a fact in her mind, so she doesnt need to work to excuse his actions. Its all or nothing with her, if you hurt and continue hurting ppl, no matter your reason, you need to stop and the only way you will stop is if you are gone. She also has a lot of black and white thinking, gotta love the autism podcast

Martin being a mastermind in s4 also makes sense bc him being stupid is an act. If ppl think your stupid theyll underestimate you and ultimately leave you alone. They wont scrutinize you, they wont attack every part of you, they will brush it off as just a typical normal thing. It will get you ignored and you cannot be hurt if nobody knows who you are or how to hurt you. Its a lonely miserable existence but its one martins used to. Martin rarely drops the mask of 'Sweet but stupid' bc he needs that to survive and tbh he probably learnt that from needing to survive his mom LOL. Martin just knows and picks the best method of getting ppl to like him, which for him is doing exactly what they want and keeping their expectations low so they wont hurt him as much when they mess up. Honestly in s5 I see him as hes finally got to a place where he doesnt care if everyone hates him, bc he has someone who does and thats all he needs. Hes survived the worst of it and he doesnt care anymore

Part of the reason everyone blames Jon is bc he is there and he is the one who is currently causing the most problems. Also they dont actually see the extent that Jon is manipulated. Elias talks and interacts with Jon differently to how he interacts with others. All of them met Jon when he was already at the institute, they meet him when it does actually look like he made his choice, entirely of his own free will. It doesnt help that daisy is there, someone who completed their transformation like Jon did and turned back on it, and she looks like shes managing well enough. She is surviving without feeding so why cant Jon do the same? Also basira does trust elias on some level. She trusts he knows more than she does and can be an asset if used correctly, which definitely doesnt help things. Also the idea of Elias is locked up, he cant affect Jon anymore so why is Jon still acting this way. Elias has very effectively vilified and isolated jon and jon doesnt fight back against it bc he believes it as well. Other ppl are normally right so why wouldnt everyone be right abt him?

Oh my god that was an essay and I absolutely missed sooo much stuff but idk take that - rosette

i literally have nothing to add . rosette sincerely you are insane and i love that . i honestly don't have a lot of s4 opinions that i could really put down , but i also disagree anon . s4 may not have been the best , but it certainly wasn't Bad or not enjoyable to listen to . coming from someone who has listened to the podcast twice now [ and who is planning on a third relisten ] , i really do enjoy s4 as a whole . martin's buildup and his manipulation of peter lukas is honestly one of my favourite parts , because it has been said that martin was originally going to be apart of the mother of puppets ! this shows that part of martin we didn't get to see but has been there . i got distracted and don't remember what else i was gonna type um . whoops - deceit

[metallica-jk]

Its 23:39, I'm bored, so imma rank all TIG characters from my fav to least

1- Nash Hawthorne- he's so underrated and loving and UGGHHHHH that he needs 1st place

2- LIBBY OMG- I LOVE HER SM SHE IS MY IDOL I RLLY TRY TO B LIKE HER BUT I FAIL BUT I WILL KEEP TRYING GUYS

3-Probably Gigi Grayson- I love her energy sm and i love her in general like gurl b my bestieeee

4- Jameson Hawthorne- Ik a lot of people will get mad at me for putting him in 3rd place but the truth is, i love him a lot as well, but he does not beat Gigi or Libby or Nash in my opinion

5- Rohan (mysterious second name)- I would put him on the same place as Jamie but Es lo que es (it is what it is in spanish??)

6- Max Liu- I love her js as much as Gigi but i feel like Max is a liiiittle more mature than Gigi :).

7- Xander Hawthorne- He needs to b next to his gf so...but in general i love the idea of him doing silly things w Max like exploding and wrecking a microwave. Beautiful date idea guys

8- *John* Oren- love that first name btw. I feel like Oren is very much the friendly and happy guy under his shell of protectiveness so

9- Savannah Grayson- I'm sorry i put her so low but idk where to put her. I love her protective-but-vulnerable kinda personality. what i mean by that is like she is protective of Gigi but she is vulnerable and kinda hides away at her boyfriend Dunc@n (yes censored bc we HATE THE PRICK)

10- Averyyyyyyy Grambs- Yall kill me for putting her so low but i forgot ab herrrrr. I would put her in Orens place honestly. bc my girl has sm trauma that if i were her i would stay under my bedsheets and js bark out orders.

11- Grayson Hawthorne- idk i like Grayson but if yk what i mean i rather Dean Redding??? cuz like they have similar personalities and idk i just rather Dean than Gray. I STILL LOVE THEM BOTH OK??? like, this guy deserves someone who will listen to his weeping every night and weep with him. OMFG I FORGOT AB LYRA

12- LYRA IM SO SRRY- PUT HER AT NR 6 AND PUT EVERYONE DOWN A NR PLS BC I LOVE LYRA SM HER PERSONALITY IS SO BADASS AND I CAN IMAGINE HER IN A LEATHER JACKET, JEANS, AND LIKE BROWNISH REDISH DOC MARTENS OMLLLL

13(14)- Alisa Ortega- Gurl still loves my man. i lover her but Nash is MINE and LIBBIES so she better watch out. dont get me wrong, i love her and she looks out for avery sm but she broke my mans heart and i wont forgive her for that.

did i miss out anyone?

no?

oh wait

999999999999-Em!ly- the only reason she is b4 eve is bc she had heart problems and jumped off a cliff (caused her own death and lots of hurt to the rest) SO FUCK U EMILY UGHHHHH

10000000000000- Eve- Idk she js better not hurt anyone or ill hurt her.

10000000000001- Tobias Hawthorne- u raised ur grandsons well, but in the most horrendous way possible

THE END DONT KILL ME BYE

[our-arospec-experience]

(srry if this is a long rant or somewhat vent-ish but i rlly need to get this off my chest or maybe get some advice about it)

(also tw bc there is a mention of suicide in this)

I've been in a qpr for a little bit with this friend of mine and im starting to wonder if i want to get out of it, if qprs were actually for me and starting to ponder how we got together too...

my friend (alloromantic <- this is context for later) was actually the one who asked me if I wanted to be in a qpr because a while before I'd mentioned the term and she'd asked me to explain it - which i did to my best ability. She'd been broken up with not long before that and this, along with other factors such as the fact that I kinda have struggle with saying no bc I dont like upsetting people - especially people I'm very close to and I didn't want to completely ruin our friendship bc I knew that she can be a bit emotive and this would rlly make things awkward for us led me to saying yes and getting into a qpr with her. I'd only rejected one other person who asked if I wanted to be in a qpr and that was over text where i could get my thoughts out coherently and also because i knew that friend wouldn't ghost me or anything.

Anyway, we were already pretty close so actually it didn't change much about our friendship other then the fact that she kissed me on the cheek one time.

We communicated what we were fine with (hand holding, hugs, occasional kisses - usually forehead or cheek though) and other things - one of the things I told her straight away was that if she wanted a romantic partner she was free to tell me she no longer wanted to be in a qpr. I knew that she was a very emotive and attached person - she has admitted to the fact that she likes to shower her romantic partner with affection, focuses a lot of energy on them and can be a little more clingy and also that she's rlly not open to poly in those sorts of things (romance - she said it was chill in a qpr but neither of us got other qpp anyway). So I wanted her to know she had an out straight away and that she should know that if she ever wanted to get out of this qpr esp for a romantic partner or honestly *any* reason it'd be fine. She agreed but told me she wouldn't ever actually need to do that.

Anyway, time went by and it seemed like we were drifting apart and we were actually more distant *after* labelling ourselves qpp then before we had. At some points I kinda got it bc during exam season she was rarely talking to anyone and not rlly online, plus we were still decently close within classes so i thought it was fine - though there'd also be moments where she would clearly forget that we were even in a qpr until some sort of like, idk, trigger word was said and she'd turn to me and be like "oh yeah! we're in one of those! :)"

And then she got a bf and it kinda got worse - don't get me wrong i'm rlly happy for her and in full support, in fact I was the one who told her she should go through with confessing cause I could see that it was eating her up from the inside - but I was right about her putting a lot of focus on him. She'd constantly talk about him in class or over text and gushed about things that he'd made her or she'd made him and i'd sit besides her as she talked about how they wanted to be the same thing in the future and about how she was already kinda planning their future. Additionally she even stopped doing stuff that she had previously labelled completely platonic like holding my hand (probably bc the way that her morals are wired she probably saw it as a bit of a betrayal) and idek if her bf knew that we were in a qpr in the first place (then again - she did forget and only remembered again on like the last couple of days on the leadup to the end of school but that didn't change her behaviour).

And though Ik that obviously i should respect her boundaries (which I do) i wish that she'd just quickly told me stuff like "hey i got a bf so i dont rlly feel comfy doing such and such.." instead of pretty much just stopping out of the blue. Additionally i kinda wish one of us would end the qpr but she's barely ever online anymore and i dont see her irl till school starts and once again, i'm *terrified* of hurting her. she's a rlly close friend and also has had some mental issues surrounding depression in the past and also has told me that she has a fear of being left behind/not good enough for the ppl she loves/hurting her loved ones and though ik that now adays she relies on her bf more for that now (which i admit prolly isnt that healthy) and we dont rlly talk as much i still never want to hurt her like that esp since literally one of the first times we talked in a while (still during the school term) was where i stopped her from almost taking her own life. (she's gotten a lot better since then and having her bf around seems to have genuinley helped heaps with that which is another reason to why im happy for them - bc i love when my friends are happy)

And honestly idk how to feel about it, she's my first qpr and im wondering if i even wanted one in the first place - the only other person who's ever asked me was another friend who i was super close to and she did it online - i gave myself some time to think before answering and turned her down which she took rlly well! On the other hand with this one she asked me after school and I needed to catch a bus - I'd talked about qprs a lot and a part of me felt like I wanted one or i *should* be wanting one - so even though at the time I wasn't rlly sure I said yes - additionally she's a pretty emotive person and i knew that if i rejected her there was a possibility that it'd be awkward for months and i didn't wanna ruin my friendship like that. I'm starting to think that maybe i said yes more out of my fear of hurting her and ruining a great friendship then out of the fact that I *actually* wanted a qpr bc the more i think about it the more i realise that i like the idea of a qpr more then i like the practice in actuality.

Anyways this is kinda a jumbled mess i feel and there might be some stuff that's repeated, but i appreciate you reading it and any advice you happen to have.

I'm sorry anon, I'm not the greatest at relationship advice. Do you have someone you trust irl that you could talk to about this? They may know an approach that would help you and your qpp better than I will.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

Honestly, Im a little disappointed that it wasn't messier. Im disappointed that there wasnt more shouting. That Lauda was providing most of the pushing and everyone else was just kinda... rolling over? I wanted an argument that would have brought the roof down on them 🙄

the reason theres so much constant tension in this party is that they all havent tried hard enough to punch each other in the face - like really smash.

to be totally serious tho, remember when Chetney told Ashton to gtfo and thats what broke the tension? someone finally getting the guts to be mean and to push hard on someone else's reckless bullshit?

the fact that theres no such equivalent here? the fact that chetney hasnt intervened on that level? thats whats keeping this tension.

on one hand, the way some of the party treat laudna is so fucking patronizing, its actively painful - Ashton whispering to Laudna for an apology? wtf? the way they acted like she was a misbehaving toddler set my teeth on edge. Then Imogen... Buddy, pal, you just watched your mother regurgitate Ludinus's lies like they were stone cold facts and youre out here accepting the same thing from Laudna without a second glance. You know she has a problem! You know she's not the most reliable narrator! You know she fails insight checks against herself all the time!!!

Ashton and Imogen both needed to treat Laudna like a threat in that moment bc she attacked someone without provocation during a rest when they were trusting her to not do that and it was clearly premeditated because she covered herself in darkness. The fact that they dont demonstrates that neither are taking her capabilities seriously enough. The fact that they arent addressing the threat she presents - to others and herself - is allowing her to continue hurting herself and others.

Whereas, Fearne is complicit in it all because shes so conflict averse. She was never gonna be the one to hold Laudna over the fire.

Chetney and Orym would have. Orym was trying to but literally only Dorian backed him up. And Dorian doesnt know fuck about all. He joined them two days ago. Hes got no fucking clue whats happening!! Oryms the only one really pointing out the fact that he was attacked unprovoked

and sure laudna was aiming for the sheathe, but thats splitting hairs... i believe we removed targeting each armor piece somewhere in dnd 3.5 or something lol - if youre targeting a piece on someone, the usual call Matt makes is to give this a higher DC. Matt making Marisha roll arcana makes sense bc yes you can control wither and blooms "chosen target", but when the target is attached to something else, and moreover the target is a thing - not a creature like the spell says RAW... it makes sense that a failed arcana check would lead to that failure

for all intents and purposes, laudna was aiming for orym. she didnt mean to hurt him but again, shes operating under the influence (and yes I do mean that connotation). a lot of people do shit they dont mean under the influence. but they still gotta do the repairs when they come back to their senses. harm was still done. Orym attacking laudna bc he was hurt and blinded is also fucking reasonable. he didnt fucking know it was her in the first place.

for laudna to say that orym hurt her when she attacked him - that was grade A manipulation

and heres the thing too, when someone is acting under the influence, people usually call it out. they say stuff like "youre drunk" or "youre high" to acknowledge that hey, this isnt you but also this isnt acceptable either. no one breathed a fucking word about delilah until the very very end. they all treated laudna like she was in a reasonable state of mind, and she wasnt. they werent meeting her where she was at and so they failed to reach her

now to orym... did they all agree that the sword was oryms? bc that was a discussion they did not have... chetney made a one off comment about how theyll need permission for it (possibly implying orym but never explicitly stated)... was the idea that orym gets it because he got hurt first? that wouldve been stupid for sure

to dorian's point, hey its just a sword. swords hurt people. what youre gonna look at every sword with magic geometry and expect to see it cuddling puppies? swords are made to hurt. even when its defending. it can parry but if you need a shield get a shield. sure, this was otohan's sword but the sword is not sentient (laudna girl you need to insight check your patron pls). otohan hurt her not the sword. and to allow her to consume it was more leaning into her trauma - its not setting a good precedent for future healthy coping mechanisms basically

that said, dorian cant just say that without acknowledging the depth of laudnas trauma. the sword actively triggered her. this does reek of a PTSD episode where she went running to a soothing influence. to simply say its just a sword without paying respect to laudna's hurt is also incredibly dismissive - well aimed as it was.

chetney is sus. thats it. thats the take. i dont believe this old man when he said he trusts laudna. i think hes plotting

tl;dr - everyone tried to help laudna, no one tried to stop her which might be the only way to help her now. she needs someone to hold her back and call out when shes under the influence again.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

top 10 strongest nonbenders

ykw. im already here so why not?!?!?!

btw the biggest rule here is who the STRONGEST are. not who my favs are. ok?

so here we go

honorable mentions: ok i dont like putting groups of people which is why the equalists and the kiyoshi warriors arent on here. but they should be!

10. sokka- sokka’s strength was his mind. i love him to death but i think some people really overestimate his physical strength. he was definitely EFFICIENT when it came to fighting but i wouldn’t go any further than that. i feel like since people love sokka (as they should!) they conflate that with his combat ability and tbh i feel like that does his character a disservice. he is the mind of the group he doesn’t need to also be a fighter!

9. long shot- ill be super honest im kind of a freedom fighters hater??? ok not a HATER but i just do not really care when they have screen time. basically what im getting at is i dont remember much of him LOLLLL but like my heart is telling me he was useful and a good fighter. obv his specialty was his archery. but then again he doesn’t do anything to stand out in my mind to make him higher. and i dont remember him really doing anything that’s hand to hand combat.

8. june- so we just dont see much of her but shes got that big sniffer to do like 80% of her fighting for her. i think she doesn’t do much otherwise??? but shes a bounty hunter so shes gotta have some oomph to her.

7. hakoda- ok another person that we dont see MUCH of but we know hes the chief of the southern water tribe and is leading them in the war. and when we do see him fight he slays! we just don’t see it much.

6. asami- literally the 3 fight scenes she has she ROCKS!!!!! but like. why does she…. only have…….. 3 fight scenes…? its so weird. i feel like she is useless when it comes to fight scenes more often than not but idk WHY bc she is a RLY GOOD FIGHTER! her fight scenes genuinely shock me every time bc i forget how good she is. but they hardly show it imo. weird.

5. jet- i was rly close to putting jet at 4 and putting #4 here but HONESTLY the only big feat he has is being able to hold his own against zuko in their 1v1. other than that……doesnt he….. get his ass kicked by everyone else? jet is super resourceful, adaptive, smart, and has great combat skill. he was the leader of the freedom fighters for a reason! i just literally cannot think of a time where he won a fight. am i crazy? idk moving on

4. mai- yeah this diva can throw them mf knives!!!!!! if this show wasnt for kids she wouldve been actually killing bitches but she still gets to use her knives in a cool way! she can go toe to toe with any non bender and tbh a lot of benders too. the fact that AZULA recruits her means she knowssss she can handle herself. she just isnt as impressive as the ppl above her.

3. piandou- a lot of ppl put him at 1 and 2 but i cant do that. he is pretty much THEE master non bender and he is clearly the most skilled swordsman we see in the show. but we dont see him in his prime, and again, im just more impressed by 1 and 2. if we saw more of him maybe i could make a case for him to be higher but the shit that i see numbers 1 and 2 do make him look soft sorry!

2. suki- ugh. love her bad. she is THEEEEE KIYOSHI WARRIOR!!!!!!!!! like. what else do u need me to say. remember that part of boiling rock. when she takes the warden hostage in literal seconds? yeah exactly.

1. ty lee- so. remember when i said i love suki bad? i love ty lee BADDDDDDDDD! she is by far seen as the biggest threat out of any nonbender bc of her chiblocking and rightfully so. like taking away bending. and at her time, no one else (that we know of) could do it. genuinely is such a cool feat and she is the ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO DO IT!! like do i need to say it again?!?!?! benders were scared to fight her AS THEY SHPULD BE! she wasnt just a threat to benders either bc her chiblocking could temporarily paralyze anyone, bender or not. is that not enough? oh ok she is also the most agile nonbender that we see snd its not even close. she literally moves exactly like an airbender without doing any airbending. she is doing flips and tricks and cartwheels and is being cunty while taking ur bending. and she becomes a kiyoshi warrior. ty lee supremacy forever.

[stackslip]

augh yeah as much as i do love the parts of COS that are very obviously trying to do something competent and genuine, the amestris parts are just so ????

ill be honest, im pretty sure i blocked those scenes out, so remembering that what happened on the amestris side is. yikes

definitely wish the movie was more focused and didnt try to add as much as it did. especially roy -- i dont mind the beginning, hell i think him exiling himself to the north is a good concept, but the fact that he takes back his position (iirc) is just. so are we throwing away the character development and him realizing that he CANT change the military from the inside or what.

in general i honestly wanted to see less of the military cast. they frankly dont have much reason to be there other than the fact people wanted to see them (esp armstrong... just. WHY). im sure there are still ways to work in roy if the creators really wanted him to be there but like. idk! they sure didnt have to do it like that! we couldve spent more time on exploring noah as a character. or let izumi die on screen. sigh

been a while since i rewatched COS but thanks for pointing out all the weird stuff, i'd almost forgotten it and i honestly shouldn't.

(and of course i have to say i love your posts on the series proper. i will never be normal about scar. ever)

the second i saw roy in there i was like why is roy still in the military at all. wasn't his whole arc about realizing that he can't do shit within the military because it is an institution built on atrocities and exploitation? why is he still in it then. why is he talking about serving his country. why's he talking about waiting for ED that makes no fucking SENSE. (why is he alive. someone said they thought roy was supposed to die by the end of 03 but they kept him alive bc he's a fan fave and i wholly believe this frankly). why is the country's military still seemingly intact with a whole surveillance network, when 03 ended on the military being severely crippled and amestris's neighbours getting ready to invade it and bring it to its knees? why are we literally seeing *the fucking weimar republic* in cos only for amestris to not parallel it in any way and instead be the brotherhood-type funland where once you've taken out the mean führer, everything is fine and there's nothing to fix?

and like. this is a short movie right! i know that they were denied a season, maybe even a season and a half to finish off the show and that some elements of cos were meant to be in the og show's ending. and it shows! bc again munich is fucking reasonably competent considering how much is crammed in on hour thirty. and i know that cos's production was also rushed as hell and that as an Anime Movie they were contractually obligated to 1) put as many recurring fan faves in as possible 2) have at least a third of the movie be a big action scene. so like. i can understand the limits. you have no time, you're told you have to put all this shit in, you want to finish off the brothers' story at the very least. but my gd! you're telling me you had an izumi death scene and it doesn't happen??? you could cut roy out ENTIRELY from this. you could not put ARMSTRONG IN LIORE. you could..... i know they had no time at all, i know once again it was 03 being shafted by production committees and time and budget but it's legit insane how the very stupid and seemingly innocuous choice of having armstrong "rebuild" liore comedically completely slapped me out of whatever headspace cos had managed to slip me in before. i was enjoying it a lot until we got to amestris. and this armstrong thing, followed by rose's line here:

it's just. it's almost comedic. i'm almost wondering if the writer is fucking with me here and acknowledging just how stupid it is to put armstrong doing alchemy in liore is. probably not but gd this is bad. this is brotherhood levels of obliviousness to the themes.

anyhow i'm not finishing cos tonight bc i'm too pissed about it lol. it's funny bc for years i was told it was bad but for the opposite reasons that it's actually bad. like folks kept saying the munich parts were bad/stupid/wrong and made no sense when to me they're by far the most thematically coherent and interesting/emotional bits of it. i LOVE the relationship between noah and ed. and like, i know the bar is is in hell when it comes to depicting roma on screen, but i can't help but appreciate the little and big ways both noah and her people get humanized, how they feel like the most real and concrete part of this world ed insists is a dream or hell. but really, genuinely noah is so good, alfons's weird crush on ed is hysterical, the general atmosphere and research around 1923 munich seems genuinely thoughtful (and it also tells me that the writers had been thinking about this long, long before even 03 ended). i genuinely believe that making munich! hugues a nazi sympathizer and a racist is a really inspired and brave choice that makes the audience reflects THEIR hugues and how the amestrian military behaved. so anyhow these parts are good, genuinely. it's sad that that's the first third and then you get thrown into this mess, and there's still a whole stupid nazi battle to come. it's stupid. it's stupid especially bc there's a genuine part of the movie that IS smart and thoughtful. it'd be so much easier if all of it were bad, or if the difference between the writing in each part weren't so obvious. anyhow. i wanna finish cos bc i wanna see wrath's arc end and envy eating hoheinheim and ed/al reunion and more of noah. but also i think i'm gonna be writing off large chunks of it lol.

(also thank you very much, i'm trying to preach 03 to whoever i can whenever i can. appreciate the love)

[harlequinoccult]

i am back w more rants this time abt one of my other characters (hopefully this one will be shorter, ik you say you dont mind but i feel bad every time i go to check in on your blog and i have to scroll past the multiple bibles i sent you... so im sending even more bibles to you-)

her name is Willow "Heartbreak" Bark. she wears a pink, white and gold venetian mask and her weapon of choice is brass knuckles. her specialty is bait and she thought that going out to the middle of the forest wearing a mini skirt and a crop top was a good idea. i am starting by listing her in-game characteristics because i truly don't know how to properly introduce Willow and all the shitshow that goes on with her-

unlike Ariel, Wills actually fits perfectly well in the slsq universe and i think that should say smth abt her character right away. honestly adapting her to fit into the story was the easiest thing ever because this is exactly the kind of shit she would get herself into.

she's a trans woman who grew up on the US somewhere south (i am not american and know just as much abt american geography as i do abt british geography), which is only important bc she has a subtle southern american accent, and despite Newcreed not having a set location i am going to say for plot purposes it is not located on the south in Willow's timeline. anyway

she's a country girl! born to a middle-to-high class family that owned a big estate with all the things a farm usually has (cattle, horses, fields, crops, etc). they had workers to help take care of everything, but the kids were encouraged to help with chores and learn some husbandry as a way to "build character". her parents were an extremely conservative bunch, and their parenting mainly consisted of being distant and pretending their kids didn't exist until they were useful for them, which for Willow specifically meant that she started developing people pleasing tendencies and a never ending quest for approval pretty early on in life.

Wills learns that she's beautiful at quite the young age. she also learns that using that beauty for her benefit is quite easy to do, that flattery and emotional bonds, no matter how fake, would get her far. and if she can play the victim well enough when she does something wrong, she'll be able to get away with it.

personality-wise, Willow has always been charismatic. a bit of a flatterer, a bit of a jokester, a lot of confidence and an extreme flirt. seriously, this woman will flirt w anything that has the ability to consent. if you have pants, she's trying to get in them. and sometimes it's even genuine! ...she mostly uses it as a manipulation tactic tho. i mean, there's no reason it can't be both! (im always so excited for playing as Willow bc she always ends up w the MESSIEST relationship stat screens. i can't wait to see how that translates into slsq)

in her teen years, she was picked on a lot for being "feminine" and having mostly girl friends (at the time, she still thought she was cis), despite being a jock and considered quite popular. she was also the one "guy" who had gone out w the most girls of the entire school. even back then, Wills was already considered a heartbreaker, someone who couldn't stay in a relationship for more than 2 months (spoilers: that doesn't change and probably only gets worse as she gets older).

it's not until her late teens that she starts really questioning her gender, and the reason it happens is because she gets drunk and finally sleeps w "another" man for the first time. from there, everything starts going downhill. she goes through a difficult period of self-discovery and coming to therms w her gender and her sexuality. when she finally begins to transition, her parents become suddenly extremely invested in her personal life in a way they hadn't ever been before. 

they threaten to disown her if she starts HRT. so she hangs her head, cries, and promises she would  never do smth like that.

one day her parents wake up to the fire alarm going off. Willow's bedroom had catched on fire, with her most important belongings missing, one of their best trucks gone from the garage and their bank account sucked dry.

they never saw Willow again.

running away like that was... maybe not the best idea Wills ever had. like every major decision she makes in her life, it was done on impulse, driven by pure rage, with no backup plan and a half baked, somehow extremely well executed idea, that sustained her on pure luck and adrenaline for the years that followed. 

her parents were pissed. maybe setting the house on fire was overkill, maybe they actually loved her after all and didn't want her gone, but it most likely was because of the thousands of dollars that suddenly went missing that made them so invested in trying to catch her and bring her back.

how did she get her hands on that much money so suddenly without anyone noticing until it was too late? great question! short answer: not important, what matters is she did. long non-answer: Willow's major skill has always been networking. she's very good at meeting people and charming people and getting them on her side, asking favors and having them do what she wants. would she have known how to transfer so much money without getting caught? hell no! but she definitely knows someone who would.

for a few years, life was a bit of a struggle. a lot of running away until she finally managed to change her name and appearance to something that would fit her best, and throw off the cops at the same time. honestly, her ending up in Newcreed is no coincidence. she knew she wouldn't be bothered there.

her meeting Carter is also not a surprise in the least. remember when i said one of her major skills is networking? someone like Carter could turn out to be very useful at some point. that makes him worthy of adding to her never ending contact list.

she worked as a stripper and sex worker for a while, when her parent's stolen money started to run dry. a very important thing to know abt Willow is that she's a party girl. she likes to have fun. she loves sex and drugs and alcohol, she's not squeamish and she knows "fun" can be made up of many different things, but it's always better when there's a little risk involved, isn't it? until one day she parties a little too close to the sun.

gambling is very fun, you see, and also happens to give her a chance to earn even more money if she gets lucky, and Willow has always been quite lucky. she's not afraid to take risks, she's not afraid to jump into things headfirst, she's definitely not afraid to commit to things with no backup plan and deal with the consequences later.

and that's how she ends up in crippling debt.

(1/2)

-🦊

(pt 1)