#honestly slaps

[joeymiya]

Scum of the earth

---close up below---

[lotus-pear]

he’s begging kuni to let them eat pancakes for dinner

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

Guy who has wandered through the halls and corridors of your body not with any special kind of love but with the untold intimacy of a contractor assessing the damages and potentials voice: right, so the main issue here is that the body is currently a temple, okay, and what we want is for it to be a home, cause temples are pretty and all and occasionally nice to be in if you're into that sort of thing but very few people would actually want to live in one. So what we're gonna do first is you're gonna take a look at what's here, the carrying walls and windows and all that, and you're going to come up with something you'd actually like to be alive inside of, and it's going to be a lot of work and it's going to feel strange and stupid and embarrassing but you're still gonna do it, because otherwise this construction site is fucked. And maybe what you want to live in is a skatepark or an anime-themed cat cafe or an esoteric library that has a dildo section for some reason, so it might feel like it's a downgrade from a temple, but it's actually the opposite cause the main customer for a body is you and the main customer for a temple are templegoers and maybe higher powers of some kind, - i wouldn't know about those, they never hired me, - not the temple itself, which is what you are, right, cause the body/mind/soul separation doesn't actually do anything, so what you're gonna do is look at the current layout and dig out whatever hope and ability to want you have and come up with a blueprint, and then my boys can actually get to work. Oh, and you have got to change the windows, it's drafty as fuck in here.

[almond-pinata]

[How did they do that?]

[ashasdiary]

Lip Plumper + Head = …?

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

Synopsis: the one where Gojo discovers lip plumper…on his dick. Who needs tingly lube when you have lip plumper? 

CW: crack, a little fluff, sexual themes, smut - head, insinuations of cunnilingus WC: 1.6k A/N: Gojo come home I have all the brands of lip plumper just for you 😫 

The first time Gojo encountered lip plumper was when you’d kissed his cheek after a date in the infancy of your relationship. 

It had been a quick, little kiss and he’d been confused about the random tingling sensation he could feel on his cheek after he bid you goodbye and headed back home. In the end, he put it down to him being so in love with you that your energy could be felt even when he wasn’t in your presence. 

The second time Gojo encountered lip plumper was when he’d kissed you while you were getting ready. 

Gojo was sat on his bed, with you, toying with your make up products. 

As you’re busy blending your blush and looking into the hand mirror you were holding, he puts your strip lashes on his eyes — without glue — and flutters his eyes for you. “How’d I look?”

“Lovely,” you glance at him and laugh as they fall off onto the bed. 

“I often wonder how I’d look with dark hair and lashes,” he muses and you hum. 

“You’d still be hot, of course, but I love your white hair, it’s distinctive and beautiful,” you tell him honestly, still focused on the mirror you were holding while you’re fixing your brows. His heart warms from your sweet words and he puts your lashes back in their box. 

Leaning over to you, he embraces you and kisses your temple. “Distinctive and beautiful loves you.”

You smile to yourself and lean into his hold, “I love distinctive and beautiful back. Can you pick a gloss for me, please?”

“Hm…this one,” he says, pointing to your Dior Lip Maximiser. He liked the shade. 

“Great choice,” you grin and you pick it up and open it, applying it a couple of times, the tingling sensation being felt immediately. He watches you in wonder. 

“Your lips look so juicy right now,” he marvels at your lips and the how the plumping effect was making them rosy and full. His gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips. “Can I kiss you?”

You laugh softly, “You don’t need to ask.”

He gently cradles your face as he leans in and kisses you longingly. Before he pulls away completely, he presses a few small pecks to your lips and smiles as he sits back. 

You start to put all of your products back in your make up bag, focused on tidying them away, when you hear him gasp, “What the heck? Why is it tingly?”

You look up to him hastily trying to wipe his lips, panicking. You purse your lips not to laugh at his hastiness, “Satoru, it’s the gloss, relax, it’s like that!” 

He’s trying to wipe it but obviously the plumper had already penetrated his lips, so he whines, “This shit hurts!”

“Will you please hold sti—”you start and he feigns being in pain, touching his lips and wincing. “So dramatic, my gosh…” You pour some micellar water for him on a cotton round and he quickly takes it and wipes his lips. You let out a small snort as you watch him tenderly touch his lips. A few minutes later, you’d found him looking in the mirror at his lips, in wonder.

The third time Gojo encounters lip plumper is when you had just gotten home with him from a wonderful dinner date.

He was looking handsome as always in his light blue button down and dark dress pants, a solid leather belt pulling it all together neatly, and his pretty hair tousled in the most perfect way. And by god, you were itching to take him in your mouth and taste him. 

Gojo was feeling the same with you, eager to please you, taste you, have you in all ways, but you were quicker in your advances and 69 wasn’t something you wanted in that moment because you wanted nothing more than to savour him. 

You both toe off your shoes by the door, and you suddenly crowd him against the wall in the hallway, feeling the heat rush through you as you sink to your knees in front of him. 

“I— sweetheart, fuck…—“ he begins but he trails off as he watches you unbuckle his belt, the delicious sound of the metal clinking together only adding to the wetness at your core. You deftly unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them down a little. 

You’re greeted with the half hard bulge of him in his boxers and you salivate when you reach past the waistband and pull him out. You gaze up at him with those pretty doe eyes of yours, pumping him in your fist, biting your lip. 

He pushes down his pants and underwear so you have full access to him, and you smile wolfishly up at him as you stroke him some more, pulling a soft groan from his parted lips. 

You lean forward and run your thumb over the tip of him, over his slit, and you wrap your lips around him and suck gently, enjoying the taste of him, as if he were a popsicle. 

“Oh, baby…” he breathes, hand slipping into your hair in an instant. 

You tease the head of him with the tip of your tongue, gentle caresses on it before you’re taking more of the length of him into your mouth. 

He never once takes his eyes off you; it’s intoxicating watching how you’re enveloping him in your mouth. 

Desire, lust, and animalistic need swirls through his body and his blood rushes south to his throbbing cock as you suck on him slowly, taking your time with him. 

You’re in the midst of taking him all the way when he suddenly tenses up and stops you upon feeling the strange sensation of his dick tingling. “Wait, sweetheart— what the f—…baby, did you—“ he’s struggling for words, brows furrowed together as he looks down at your lips and notes the plump shine of them, “are you wearing that lip gloss again?”

You take him out of your mouth and give him a daring smile, eyes twinkling with mischief, “Mmhmm, the one you liked…thought I’d try something new. Think of it as…tingly lube,” you laugh a little and take him into your mouth again, making him hiss and bite his lip. 

After the initial confusion wore off, he quite liked the feeling of it on him. He made a mental note to take you to the Dior store to get some more of the lip product right after he finished making you come on his tongue. 

He leans against the wall, hips bucking slightly, involuntarily, against you as you suck on him more, taking him as deep as you could go. The lip plumper was making him feel things he’d never felt before. The tingling sensation was making precum leak from him and straight onto your waiting tongue where you eagerly lap it up. “Mmmph,” you hum around him, pumping the base of him while you bob your head. You loved having him in your mouth, loved tasting him. 

The taste of him on your tongue adds to your arousal and your other hand snakes down to your core, pushing your dress aside to rub circles over your clothed clit. 

“Takin’ me so good, pretty,” he croons, cupping your jaw, his dick twitching while he watches you touch yourself with his dick in your mouth. You bob your head a few more times and then he takes your face in his hands and holds you in place. “Gonna let me fuck this pretty face, hm?” He asks, eyes hooded and dark. 

You can only let out a half hum, half moan in response, bringing a hand to hold the back of his thigh as he starts to rock his hips against you, fucking your mouth. 

“Ah, fuck—“ he grits out as he thrusts faster, your warm, wet mouth feeling perfect around him. He moans your name when he sees the tears in your eyes as you take his mean thrusts. 

Your eyes screw shut, brows knitted together as you hold onto his thigh and relax your throat. “S-shit— that’s it, sweetheart…” he grunts, low sounds that rumbled through his chest, sounds which were like music to your ears. 

He hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, shuddering as he pulls away and allows you to breathe. Saliva coats your lips and his cock— whatever lip plumper you had on had gone now— and it drips down your chin as you gather your bearings and look up at him gratefully. “Thank you, baby,” you hum, and you take him into your mouth again, sucking him harder, moaning around him knowing the vibrations will make him feel good, lapping at his sensitive tip more with your tongue, while you pump the base of him, teasing his balls a little too. 

His head falls back as he bucks his hips a little, his hand holding onto your hair as he guides you. He pants heavily, cursing under his breath as he gets closer to the edge. You know exactly what he likes and exactly how to please him and right now, you have him like putty in your hands. 

Breathing heavily through your nose, you take him as deep as you can a few more times before he gasps and lets out a pornographic moan of your name, whimpering as he releases into your perfect mouth, “Oh, f-fuck, baby—so good f’me…makin’ me feel so good…nngh…!” He holds you there as the thick ropes of cum shoot out onto your tongue and you let out a soft mewl at the taste of him and the feel of him twitching. 

You gently caress his thighs as he pants for breath, guiding him down from the high. He slumps against the wall and sighs softly, looking down at you with parted lips and hooded eyes, “Get your ass on the bed, I’m gonna eat you out till you can’t take any more. Then, I’m gonna take you to the make up store and buy you some more of that gloss.”

Do not copy or translate my work. © ashasdiary, all rights reserved. Divider by cafekitsune

[wentian]

HADES + Thanzag (2/?) "Still at it, I see. You're stubborn. And you are going to get me in a heap of trouble before all is said and done."

[whyoneartheven]

there are so many "if this gets (insert number) notes i'll do something productive/good for me!" but has there ever been one where someone goes

if this gets 10k notes i'll slap myself in the face

i suppose i'm wondering

would people be so eager to reblog if it would cause something slightly unpleasant?

[astraskylark]

The boom clap bitch slap that resonated across the dungeonsphere

[celestialrealms]

we can't keep letting him get away with this 🤬

[myownprivateclusterfuck]

Has it been done before?

Anyway, shout out to this gem ❤️

[thebibliosphere]

The perks of suffering from brain fuckery that makes me forget things is that I forgot Depeche Mode came out with a new album last year, and past me bought it.

[princessmadelines]

DEAN WINCHESTER : HOW TO BECOME THE 21ST CENTURY MARLBORO MAN

Do you want to be become The Man? Do you dream of being the perfect Action Hero? That's easy enough, kid! All you need is your Father's leather jacket, his vintage muscle car, and his cassette collection. And if that isn't enough, look no further than 80s action movies. Save the day, get the girl... yes, it's that easy! Just follow the script, and you'll be the perfect Red-blooded American Man.

or a study of dean's performance of masculinity

[emilyjunk]

"Kevin isn't that bad it's not like he beats her, why does she need to kill him or fake her death, just get divorced" you are the point of the show, you are missing the crucial reveal. Allison sees Kevin in every single scene as she does their last scene together, but we as the audience aren't privy to that and we only see sitcom Kevin which is Kevin's self perception. He is not suddenly becoming scary and threatening to her. He was like that the whole time. We only see Allison's feelings about Kevin and the aftermath of her interactions with Kevin -- this is the ONLY time we see Kevin from her POV except for the brief initial breaking of the sitcom cam. Every other time we see Kevin on screen it's from Kevin's POV. Even after she cuts her hand we only see the bandage in her singular pov when she is away from kevin, but when it shifts back to sitcom Kevin it's gone.... We do not see the reality of her interactions with Kevin, that's the point of the show!!! Because when Kevin is on screen, it's Kevin's world! We only see Kevin from anyone else's lens in ONE scene at the end, which is when Allison decides to leave, so yes the sitcom cam "softens his abuse" but it also just fully acts as an unreliable narration because we never literally see Kevin from anyone else's POV until the series finale so every time Kevin is on screen it isn't even an accurate portrayal of what's happening, it's Kevin's perception of what's happening. Allison has viewed him like that the entire show, we as the audience just did not get to witness that POV until the end

[seagreenstardust]

“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”

Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.

His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.

Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The girls are plottinggggg

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[llamasofchaos]

One thing I love about the Alex Rider tv show is that in every season no matter what they always have at least one scene where Alex and Tom are being dorks together.

Like I love it because whoever wrote those moments really understands having a friend who no matter how old you are or what you have gone through together, being in a room with this person will result in the loss of brain cells in favor of being funny together, and it is perfect writing.