#honestly rushed this but maybe one day ill make a more thought out design

[orobeori]

Bhutanese Miku 🇧🇹🐉⚡

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Changes

Words: 4030

Summary: Steve Harrington has always dreamt about running away from Hawkins and his parents. Ever sense he could form his own thoughts, he has always wanted to travel the world in a beat up van with those he loved. Yet obvious circumstances stop him from leaving. Instead of being on a beach somewhere he is stuck in Hawkins, Indiana waiting for the world to end at any time. He loves all of his friends, but he has been missing a piece of himself for a long time. After taking the first steps of self discovery and putting down the crown, he realizes that he’s barely touched the surface of who Steve Harrington really is. Even if it means running away from home last minute, taking chances and using the flimsy excuse of a family emergency to get away from his friends for a while, he’s willing to do what it takes to make himself feel whole again. Make those thoughts finally disappear and maybe be more then what others has set his image to be.

Part : 1/?

Ao3 link

Note: I have the next few chapters planned out, but I don’t think this will be a terribly long fic. Five chapters is most likely max. But who knows I might like writing this so much that I add a few more. I just didn’t want to rush the process and not have Steve returning to Hawkins different hit the way I wanted it 😭

Steve runs a hand through his hair, water droplets falling down his forehead and down his nose. Watching each one move down his freckles through the reflection of the mirror. It wasn't uncommon for Steve to sleep in, honestly it was very common for him to sleep until nine am at the latest. Lately though, his body has been craving for a lot more sleep then what he can offer it. Flapping his hands a bit, spraying water around the small little bathroom of the diner moves himself out of the cramped space. Giving a tight smile to a older male that pushes his way through before he's heading back to his table. Moving, wiping his hands off his pants a little, fidgeting a bit before he plops himself into his designated spot next to Robin. Who was currently rambling about something, hands flying in the air as she leaned forward at the table in a chaotic manner. Matching Eddie, who was nearly standing on the opposite side of the booth from excitement. Steve isn't sure what part of the conversation he catches them in as his brain goes foggy again. The splash of cold water not grounding him into reality like normal. The feeling was annoying, and instead of catching either of his friends attentions he moves to start eating his food. Zoned out a bit as he planned out his day in a way that he could get a nap in. Maybe he was coming down with something?

For the last couple of months? Yeah no fucking way dude. There was something wrong with him and he wasn't sure what. Though he was physically good in health, maybe cutting back the amount of time going to gym was making him feel so ill. But that also didn't make any sense, he still felt the same icky feeling going to the gym, one of the reasons why he stopped going more then twice a week. He's chewing carefully on a strawberry when Robin playfully shoved him with a soft smile. Not showing concern, but looking curiously at him. Steve furrows his eyebrows as he swallows the fruit in his mouth. Letting a soft hum out, "Hm?" Licking his lips shortly after as he turns his head to glance over at Eddie who's properly kneeling on the booth seat, head cocked to the side a little bit. Trying to read him almost.

"Do you want the rest of my pancakes?" She asks gently. A common ritual between the two friends. Her eyes would be bigger then her stomach which left Steve swooping in and finishing what was left. He needed the calories anyway, constantly burning a decent amount on his morning jogs and in the gym. Though with the cut back of exercise he wasn't feeling all that hungry. That was the excuse he came up with as he shakes his head no, carefully licking some whip cream off from the top of his mouth.

"Nah, I'm find Robs." He responds with a hum. Watching the way she stops mid movement, holding the plate in her hand as if she was already on her way in moving it to put on Steve's. He chuckles gently, raising his eyebrow at how awkward she looks. Startled as well as she jokingly moves a hand forward and touches Steve's forward with the back of her palm.

"You feeling okay Dingus?" She asks softly. Not holding the plate for much longer as Eddie moves quickly scooping it from her hand. She doesn't bother looking over at the table, where Eddie was currently shoveling the food in as if he hadn't eaten a hamburger, a full plate of fries, and a strawberry milkshake with chocolate syrup mixed in a little bit. Steve had thought once the other wasn't on the run any more he would stop shoveling food into his face so fast that he nearly hit some of his fingers off. That, did not seem to be the case.

"Yeah, just started cutting back on how much I go to the gym." He admits, "so I'm not as hungry." He says softly. Watching Robin relax, the softness in her eyes grounding him better then the water in the bathroom. Her eyes crinkling a bit as she playfully pokes him lightly in the stomach.

"See, I told you so. Lady's dig the dad bods dude." She teases playfully. Causing Steve to laugh gently, shaking his head amused as Eddie starts to choke on a piece of fruit. Coughing a bit as he pulls back from hovering over the plate, any closer and his nose would have been touching the glass.

The day goes the same, for the most part. Steve drives to his shift at Family Video, sharing it with Robin like normal. Watches the neighborhood kids come in and leave after inspecting the shelf that held a , "new movies" sign above it with a life sized cut out of David Hasselhoff leaning against kit the talking car. It was a couple of years old, but it worked fine with getting the younger boys excited about the car. More desirable then having to move a life sized cut out of a girl in a bikini away from a drooler. He's fiddling a random rhythm on the counter as he tries figuring out what he has to do. Feeling a tad forgetful lately he frowns as he moves crouching down as he picks up a lollipop stick off the rug. Probably Robins wrong doing, scrunching his nose from disgust as he moves it likes it's the plague, to a trash can. Hearing the bell of the front door going off, following along with a very pissed off Dustin. Steve's lost as he swings himself over with the rolling chair.

"This is such bullshit Steve!"  Spit goes flying everywhere as Dustin has no control over his lisp. Voice Loud enough that it echos through the store catching Robins attention. Who had been opening new boxes of tapes. Behind Dustin is Max who looks agitated, Will Byers who looks confused and wants nothing to do with this conflict along with Mike Wheeler who's face is a light pink and looks like he's done something. What, Steve isn't sure. If they didn't all look like they were in one of the most serious situations in their life's Steve may have snorted and cracked a small comment to Dustin about "saying it not spraying it."  However the saying went.

"What is Henderson?" Steve asks slowly. Furrowing his eyebrows tiredly as he tries to catch onto what the other was talking about. He hadn't forgotten anything had he. But even if he had Dustin would not be this pissed. Mistakes happened, and most times Dustin made sure to ride his bike everywhere.

"You're parents!" Dustin spits out again. Steve's lost again, he hasn't heard anything from his Mother and Father in a couple of weeks. Doing god knows what in god knows where.

"What about my parents?" He asks confused. Moving his arms a bit as he looks concerned as well.

"Hellfire Club, or any club that doesn't fit a Christian like bubble can not and will not be allowed at Hawkins high because someone's parents refuse to donate money to the school if it's not a preppy Christian love nest!" Dustin says upset. And oh, that makes sense.

"But- I thought hellfire was banned already?" He asks confused.

"It was! But you don't understand, the only clubs that are allowed are all sport oriented." Dustin snaps.

"Ok—" Steve drawls out. "You can't create you're own—" before he can finish Dustin's snapping again.

"This is bullshit! Of course you would side with your parents, and here I thought you were on my side!" Dustin in clearly upset as he slams his hand on the counter. Normally Steve would be able to handle a out break like this, he understood he used to be a moody teenage boy himself. For the most part Dustin wasn't all the angry. He stands up startled, eyes glancing over at Max who says softly. Almost as if she was shy, moving her body around as she keeps her arms crossed around her self.

"They cut robotics club-" and oh. That made sense why Dustin was so pissed. He had been so close to creating a device where no matter how far away you were, it would use some form of connection to connect to another device. The purpose was to be able to tap on it, like Morse code almost. Which he somehow knew, along with his girlfriend Susie who would definitely appreciate the more private way of communicating instead of having a sibling eavesdropping. Though knowing this Steve was also a bit upset.

"Too far Henderson-" he says calmly, trying to get rid of the agitated part of his tone. Watching the way Henderson's shoulders deflate under the words. Meeting his eyes a bit. That mutual agreement they had months ago coming through, not once has Steve ever had to say to far to Dustin about something. Normally it was Steve who took the jokes to far sometime. Used to tough jocks his age who made fun of stuff like that, not a small teen boy who was obviously going to have some insecurities. "First off, I don't agree with my parents. Honestly, I didn't even know they were doing that. Haven't spoken to them in weeks, with the 'earth quakes' my phone line has been down, and I just got it fixed a few days ago. Plus, it’s not like my parents ask me for permission to do anything before they do it!" he rambles out. Most days he doesn’t even touch his phone, it was always through the radio that he contacted the group by.

"Second, I am sorry about your club. I'm sure that you brainiacs will figure out a way to steal the parts back and finish it up by yourselves. You've got a lot of it done. Third, no I am not on your side dude. I'm on all of your guys. Which includes the others not just you Henderson." Steve says waving his right hand loosely, leaving the other on his hip. Cocking said hip off to the side a little bit, his nose flaring a little as he hears Robin moving around in the back. His head was starting to kill him from all of the commotion, as he moves forward grumbling under his breathe as he pulls a ibuprofen out. Popping it in his mouth before swallowing and then sassily waving his hands for the kids to get out.

"Now scadadle. Start coming up with ideas for your own clubs, I'm sure you can create your own. Don't need money to just hang out with each other. Plus, I expect you to figure out a way in stealing what you started to  create Henderson." Steve says with a playful huff. Dustin his moving back a little as he nods his head eagerly. Much more calmer then what he been earlier. Now he looked like he had a part of a plan formed in his head as he playfully bounces up and down walking backwards out of the store with the other goons following shortly behind as their voices start to mix and go over each other as ideas started to form.

"You okay Steve?" Robin asks curiously. Moving over to him, slightly hovering over him as he sits down on the chair. He looks up with a soft smile, feeling her hand laying on his shoulder where his neck met his shoulder. He moves his own hand placing it on top of her tinier in a comforting manner. As if he wasn't the one who needed it.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiles dimly, watching his friend relax before patting his shoulder absent mindlessly then walking away to go finish what she had started.

Thing is, Steve has always randomly gotten the urge to pack up and leave. Leave everything behind, start over, become someone new - someone that wasn't Steve Harrington. Son of two rich assholes who didn't have any real touch to reality. Become something more, be something more then the image his parents have created, no spray painted all over this town. Of course he's used to it but the thoughts are particularly hard to shut up tonight.

Has Steve really not changed at all?

Is he still like his parents?

What if everyone around him was better off without him?

Now, the last thought was a bit shocking. Steve wasn't suicidal, he just wanted to curl up somewhere and disappear for a while. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to be living in a sense. He was exhausted, feeling his bones ache to just lay in bed for a while. Though he was tired, he couldn't fall asleep. It was the most annoying thing he's ever felt. He rubs a hand through his hair, runs a hand down his face. Sitting up when the reality of the situation hits him. He can start over, he can leave Hawkins behind, he can go off and start off fresh. The excitement fills every part of his body as he throws himself out of his bed, looking around the room as he realizes he can make his own room. Have something that was his own, just as long as he got out of this town. Just as fast as he makes the decision to leave, he is quick to shut it down. Running a hand through his hair. Stressed out by the thought of even leaving Robin and the kids behind.

Deflated of all hope he moves curling back into his bed. Deciding he would much rather live in misery, then conflict any hurt feelings on his friends. His rambling thoughts are non stop as he stays curled up, now on top of the comforter. Feeling the sun beaming through his window as he turns on his shoulder getting more excited about getting up and seeing Robin. Though slightly agitated that he had just spent the last eight hours laying in bed doing nothing. Hopping off the bed he moves, pulling his sweats off, then his shirt before scratching at the slight happy trail he had that connected to even more hair hidden behind his boxers. Moving his body at weird angles as he starts to get changed, tracing his v-line as he looks at the mirror. Slight scaring placed underneath his finger tips before he pushes himself out of his room, heading to the diner to meet Robin and Eddie for breakfast.

And today feels like yesterday, then feel the same as tomorrow. As he sat down next to Robin he felt like everything was moving around him so fast. Robin and Eddie’s voices drowning out in the back of his head. Eyes glossed over with exhaustion as he looks around the diner. Eyes stopping at the newspaper that had been pinned up on a board near the kitchen. Swallowing a bite of food he leaves his eyes trained there. Looking at the image of a town further away, that seemed to somehow be smaller then Hawkins. That seemed nice, Hawkins was pretty big for a rural town. In his head Steve realizes he’s daydreaming about leaving. About just disappearing, imagining everyone’s reactions. Knowing that not many people would care. Most likely only Robin and Dustin would be the only ones to notice his absence.

The slight shove against his side and his attention is back on Robin who’s not asking this time as she forces the last of her pancakes on his plate. Leaving a bit more for him then what she normally would, as if she was trying to make up for the day before. Steve smiles tiredly as he starts to eat. Staying silent as he glances over at Eddie. Who was a little disheveled this morning. Hair a mess, bags under his eyes as he rambles his thoughts out as well. Robin seemed a bit more tired then normal as well. “What’s got you two so tired?” He teases. Knowing his excuse, but it was rare for Robin and Eddie to have sleepless nights on the same night. It was more common for one to come in like a zombie and the other to be beaming until their roles were reversed. Steve would be the consistent one, always getting enough sleep. On occasion though he had his moments, like today.

“Oh, Eddie decided he wanted to throw a long ass session yesterday. Argyle, Jonathan, and I were all up until three am dealing with his bullshit.” Robin laughs gently. Steve looks amused, though his chest ached. Logically he knows he wouldn’t have been playing with them, but it still stung that he hadn’t been there when they were playing. He wouldn’t mind watching. And typically before every session he was invited to join anyway, to watch which he gladly accepted. Though there is no comment said about him not being invited, as if it was just common knowledge that he wasn’t accepted in the group.

“Oh?” He chuckles gently, running a hand through his hair as he lets the topic die. Letting Eddie take over, talking about some movie that was coming out. His brain wandering, not finishing his food as he steps out of the booth when it’s finally time to leave. Normally the minutes went by super fast, and he didn’t want to go. Today, he was bored out of his mind and couldn’t wait to head back home. Not having a shift today, maybe he could get a quick nap in. Waving at Robin, who would catch a ride with Eddie who would be passing the family video on his way home. Steve moves clicking himself in the car and rubs his eyes. He’s on a loose thread, and he felt like something was coming. Something that was just going to cut it in half and force him to have to do something he had no plans on doing.

And it does. When he gets a phone call from Keith, the store manager. Who’s trying to get him to come in on his day off. Wanting him to cover a shift, that someone else could easily cover. Steve was close to passing out, there was no way he was able to get behind the drivers wheel and drive like this. “Keith! Can you - dude I can’t come in right now!” He snaps. Running a hand down his face. This was really going to be his last straw. Something so small yet so big. The urge to run away was getting stronger, to escape from the real world. His exhaustion running deeper then just physically but also mentally. Before he can even think about what he was saying he spits it out. “Fuck dude! You know what, I quite. Don’t even bother calling me again, my uniforms already in my locker so I don’t even need to drop it off.” Steve snaps. Slamming the phone into its holder.

It felt amazing, the slight relief of not having something tying him down. The feeling was addictive as he sets his back against the wall. Sliding down dramatically as he feels tears forming in his eyes. Then the relief is gone and he’s overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with everything. Soon, he knows Robin will be calling him. Probably chewing him out about quitting the only stable job there was in Hawkins. His mind was making everything seem bigger then what it really was, anxiety eating away at his stomach as he tilts his head back. He felt like he was drowning, though just a few days ago he had been perfectly afloat. Fine really. Then something happened and he was being pulled down. Shuddering at the thought of a hand wrapping itself around his ankle and yanking him down he throws himself off from the cold floor. Rushing to go to his room.

Logic was gone, he needed to leave. Before this town dragged him down any further. Duffel bag on his bag, his movements and decisions are erratic and stupid. Any person staring and watching from a third persons view could see that. God even Steve could see that, but his brain was so wrapped around the feeling of being buried alive that he doesn’t even care. He wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t calm either. Pulling what he needed out, this was all last minute and he knew that the second he left Hawkins he would be stuck in shitty hotels and sleeping in his car for awhile. Though that sounded more exciting that sleeping in this empty house.

Moving to his closet next he pulls out what he needs, leaving everything else as is. There wasn’t much he needed here. Grabbing his walkie, hoping that where he went would be able to catch the station the kids were on. Moving to the bathroom packing soaps and his toothbrush. Careful not to let any of it explode in the bag. Moving out to his car tossing it in the trunk, before he’s moving back in grabbing any food that wouldn’t expire any time soon and didn’t need to be refrigerated. Though he was panicked, he was clear minded enough to think about cleaning the fridge out. Not much in there anyway. Running a hand through his hair he grabs his keys and takes one final look at the house. He could back out now. But that made him more upset then the thought of leaving Robin and everyone behind. Of course he left a small note, where he knew Robbie would find it. Though he’s sure that he would call when he got to a gas station. Coming up with an excuse about a family emergency.

Moving out side he realizes the thought of never returning to this ugly house didn’t phase him as much as he thought it would. Growing up he was convinced that he would be crying when he drove away from it for the last time. Instead none of those emotions were there. Instead his hands shook as he gripped onto the steering wheel. Looking forward, and not behind him as he pulls out. He shouldn’t be driving, with the lack of sleep he really shouldn’t. Though he needed to hold onto the walkie. Moving and grabbing it from the other seat he presses it hard on his right thigh. Letting the windows down, wind wipping his hair all over. He’s sure that this stunt would only last him a couple of weeks, he would be back in no time.

As the sun comes up, he slips his glasses on. Beaming excitedly as he turns the radio on. Letting whatever station that had been on last play. Heading off to god only knows where, with only what he got, a wallet with all of the money he’s saved up over the past couple of months and a bank account filled with hush money that has been yet to be touched. There was nothing but looking up from here. Letting the road take him where ever it wanted to, hours away from Hawkins. And when it was time for him to meet Robin and Eddie at the diner for their daily breakfast, he’s tempted to turn back. Hearing the panic in Robins voice through the speaker. Reminding himself that he would call later, he turns the thing off. Throwing it to the seat, hearing it thud to the car floor. Nothing but the woods and dirt roads surrounding him now as he finally fulfills his dream of running away.

With the time he had, he knew he was being stupid. Stupid got you killed. But kids his age were allowed to be stupid, so why wasn’t he allowed to be stupid. It wasn’t fair. He sighs as he sees a huge sign that read open. Moving and parking in the driveway, feeling and hearing his tires crunch against the rocks as he heads to eat in a entirely new diner, all by himself and alone for the first time in months.

And god, did it feel good.

Tag list; @whalesharksart @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steddie-as-they-go @justforthedead89 @kengwisi @anzelsilver @miss-wright

*note if you wanted to be added to tag list let me know, though again I don’t plan on this being more then a few parts and no more then 20-30k words because I’m also working on a bang fic lol*

[lettersfromcats]

August movies!!

hi doreen !!!

ive decided to watch at least one film a day this month for no reason, but i have been having fun. since i don't use letterbox to give proper reviews i thought it'd be fun to start documenting my thoughts on each one for the month :) (ratings based on intuition alone) (this will take a while/ in progress)

-the cabin in the woods: 6/10 i really wanted to like this cause i liked the vibes and it seemed right up my alley- i love a horror comedy; but i found myself really bored halfway through. i do like the premise but i think the characters were a bit too archetype-y for me, which i get is the point. i still found it enjoyable and i would watch it again- just probably with other people, i think it's a group watch film.

-the virgin suicides: 9/10 i'm using this to work through some of my watchlist and this was on there for a while, we talked about watching it and i was not disappointed. the exploration of grief from the peripherals really struck me as well as the depiction of girlhood. i understand the criticism of the girls stories being told by the boys but to me the film seemed very self-aware and deliberate in that depiction (and i do love an unreliable narrator). the utter foreboding that hung over the mystical haze of memory throughout the film was enchanting and i mean the cinematography and soundtrack, impeccable. i can't move on without mentioning the symbolism of the elm trees, it's as if a literary technique was designed specifically to get me to like a film. the elm in itself has such interesting mythos and history which maybe wasn't deliberate beyond the obvious symbols in the film, but still is really interesting, for example, in norse mythology, the first woman was made from an elm and in america elms became a symbol of war and liberation during the revolution.

-girl, interrupted: 10/10 started with simon and garfunkle and still got better. incredible performances from any lesbians idea of a stacked cast and jared leto dies at war so win-win. the depictions of illness while i can't say are flawless, never feel like the intentions are wholly mocking- (though i obviously can't speak for everyone) and are devastating when brought to focus. and there's a homoerotic friendship so i was always gonna like it.

-purple hearts: 0/10 i dont even want to talk about it, i was watching it ironically and i couldn't even bring myself to have fun. the politics are beyond confused and seem to boil down to a centrist mush of love everyone despite their flaws (racism) and war's okay if the soldiers are big pouty white men. the romance was even rushed i don't know how anyone enjoyed it.

-the lighthouse: 8/10 exactly my type of artsy bullshit, robert pattinson and willam defoe shine in this weird, gross, claustrophobic, anxious masterpiece and i was having a great time. so much and so little happened but the delirious descent into madness was wonderful and a little bit gay so score.

-saw: 10/10 i finally watched it and as i predicted am obsessed, i just love a horror that is just a little ridiculous. i want to keep billy in a cage and feed him carrot sticks, (is he an animatronic or a puppet? how does he cycle???) jigsaws motivations make no sense and honestly good from him, i'd go batshit crazy if i were him too. the editing is so 2000s i can't stop thinking about it. the bathroom trap is where i want to go when i die. the horror was a lot less visceral than i was expecting; i think the contained nature of the traps really just creates such tension, especially between the characters stuck together, which is so compelling to me. the reverse bear trap is crazy i love it and what lesbian horror fan isn't a little in love with amanda. im so glad i hadn't had the twist spoiled for me because oh my god. also score slapped: hello zepp.

-old: 4/10 so silly i think more rich people should pay out of pocket to make bad films unintentionally. i watched with my siblings and i love nothing more than tearing apart this sort of thing with a captive audience who have to find me funny or be bored.

-extra ordinary: 8/10 i didn't know this was Irish until it started and what a pleasant surprise it all was. such a fun watch i really enjoyed it. the supernatural elements were the good side of corny and the romance was cheesy but heartfelt, with quintessentially irish humour just a really easy to watch, fun little film.

-piggy: 7/10 i really enjoyed this despite the not-great dub i was watching. i like how the bullied girl revenge trope was subverted and saras character felt very real, her reactions to events came off as very genuine and the suspension throughout is pulled off really well. i do get the criticisms of it being a drawn-out short cause i did find it a little slow at times but not having seen the short i didn't find the plot at all diminished. i liked the aspect of detachment from the killings emphasized by none of them being on camera while the emotional impact remained as well as the almost haunting presence of the killer and his intentions.

-the florida project: 9/10 another one that's been collecting dust on my watchlist for a while now i was absolutely enchanted by every aspect of it. the honest depiction of childhood and a very american poverty was striking. the gorgeous use of colours brought the vibrance of childhood back even in the dilapidated americana of it all. the acting really shone, willam defoe slayed of course but the kids are what make it special. and that final shot.

-we're all going to the worlds fair: 8/10 such an interesting film, nothing has ever quite captured the echoing loneliness that existence on the internet can create like this before. i loved the aspect of the accidental acting in search of connection, to me the lead-caseys-personal experience reads as completely honest without necessarily pointing to the spooky aspects being beyond her own mind. the film's atmosphere remains evenly eerie throughout, actually spooking me a little at times. the incredible, universal isolation of each character was really well portrayed with no conversations taking place without some barrier (a screen, a door) and i loved the framing of the fair itself, especially in contrast to the bleak monotonous world of empty snowed-in woodland and soulless frosty towns that casey occupies. the lead actress did such a good job portraying casey and her shifting identity and breakdowns. the director's transness cannot be ignored and the film as an allegory for dysphoria works so well. all this set to the droning instrumentals of alex g creates such a foreboding ambiance i couldn't help but love. definitely one of my favourite watches so far.

-shiva baby: 8/10 oh boy so stressful but also really fun. im starting to really like rachel sennott, looking forward to seeing more of her in stuff soon; speaking of bottoms looks like it's gonna be so good.

-red, white and royal blue: look, we know this is not my kind of thing, i get why people like it but for me this one especially with the indescribably weird political message is just not good, i didn't like the book and i don't like the film. gay people should have cheesy bad films though so its fine.

-when harry met sally: 9/10 this is one of those films i always thought i'd get round to eventually and i was suprised how much i liked it. really really cute, made me believe in love again or something. meg ryans hair was stunning also.

-marry my dead body: 7/10 i definitely enjoyed watching this but if i was being haunted by a twink drastic things would happen and they would not be good. i liked the characters well enough and the mafia(?) plot was fun, action sequences were okay and i'll be charmed by most ghost plots plus a kooky grandparent? great film recipe.

-juno: 10/10 knew i'd love this and boy did i! everything about it was just so charming, the dialogue and mannerisms of the characters (except jason batemans who was so so scary), the soundtrack, the aesthetics and did i mention the soundtrack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love kimya dawson so much. just a wonderful little film.

-submarine: 8/10 i'm a fan of richard ayode but i think this is his only directorial work of his i've seen and i have to say i really enjoyed it. the cinematography was really cool, i liked the use of symmetry and colour, especially the assigning a colour to each character, that's my shit; stand-out shot for me was the dream sequence over the dam drain thing- i love a water motif used to represent inner turmoil of a character- olivers basically kendall roy if logan was welsh instead of scottish. i know people love the score but i never got into the artic monkeys cause i'm not a huge fan of alex turners voice so a series of songs written and performed by the man didn't exactly stand out to me, but they seemed lyrically cool. i love the awkward stilted dialogue and the oddity of the main characters, they're not exactly likeable but that for me doesn't detract from the film. also his dad was a freak called lloyd and i love him.

-bound: 10/10 i mean what can i say, it's a lesbian crime thriller and if you don't think im gonna love that you're crazy. the plot is really compelling and corky and violet are an even more compelling. i enjoyed it. (also add this to my list of really good films made in 1996)

-bombshell: 2/10 lazy liberal feminism, i watched for margot and kate

-bones and all: 10/10 cannibalism in media <3<3<3 i also really enjoy a bit of Southern Gothic in my films so this was always gonna be a hit with me, even if i had to look past timothys presence. from the start the atmosphere is intense, the rural desolate setting, the immediate social and then literal isolation of maren really keeps the foreboding building only broken by the sudden violence. cannibalism works so well here as queer coding (and everywhere else, don't get me started). the weird balance of such realistic settings and this unchangeable almost supernatural aspect of biological 'survival cannibalism' is so interesting; and the romance element of the film worked really well for me.

-werewolves within: 6/10 a fun little horror comedy, i thought i would like it more but the humour wasn't quite my thing, a little millenial maybe. i still enjoyed it and it was a nice film to watch with my mam.

-as above, so below: 7/10 subpar acting and script writing made up for by such a good concept, Dantes Inferno as the catacombs absolutely slayed, and i was actually pretty spooked a couple times which doesn't usually happen to me beyond overreacting to jumpscares, which while im on the subject the jumpscares here were really well done, didn't feel lazy to me at all. it does need to be said that it really feels like they had a good concept but needed to work the script and plot more, the horror could use some backup from a better-written storyline and better justification for the character's endings.

-primal fear: 8/10 young edward norton was a real standout here. definitely an interesting legal mystery thriller, i think the twist would probably be more impactful back in 1996 (good year for film), it felt a little played out at this point but still very well done.

-slums of beverly hills: 7/10 i love a good coming-of-age and also natasha lyonne so i definitely enjoyed this. don't love the way some topics were glossed over but what can you do.

-fifty shades of grey: bad.

-vampires suck: 6/10 a funny little parody, mentioned the black eyed peas.

-weird: the al yankovic story: 7/10 daniel radcliff as a freak strikes again. definitely my favourite musician biopic i've seen so far. charming in its ridiculousness.

-ginger snaps: 9/10 a coming of age horror which conflates the begining of puberty to the transformation of warewolfism. i really appreciated the body horror elements as a cronenberg fan and i just think the horror was done really well. the two main characters were played so well and it was quite funny at times. i liked the interpretation of lycanthropy as a disease and the route of cure the characters used. would definitely recommend!

-insidious: 5/10 while i didn't find it especially scary i think the horror was well done and the plot was actually quite interesting! astral projection is quite a unique look at a ghost story and i loved that it was a person being haunted not a house, it was a good subversion. i did watch for leigh whannell and he made such a fun supporting character among some pretty meh main characters. definetely not a bad film!

-no hard feelings: 6/10 so fun! im so glad more stuff like this is coming out again and i mean jennifer lawrence slayed so hard. weird how people are such prudes about female nudity still, it wasn't like she was being overly sexualised in the scene but people are making such a huge deal out of it, i thought it made for a funny moment. i really enjoyed the characters and their relationship felt very real and cute! also depicted modern teenagers as very scary which i approve of.

-ghost world: 8/10 a really interesting look at two girls stuck in limbo between high school and adulthood. i really liked the depiction of enid avidly avoiding confronting moving on and how she inadvertently hurts everyone around her by being so casually selfish and how shes contrasted by rebecca (also scar jo slayed here gave absoloutely nothing, such a good character). the aesthetics of the film were really fun, with the delapedated city really highlighting the girls and also how fun the costuming was. steve buscemi also had a standout performance in which he was an awkward freak and a pretentious asshole about music! what a slay.

i really enjoyed doing this, it kind of forced me to actually engage in the media i was consuming past the casual level i usually find myself on. and it sure beat watching tiktok for six hours before bed.

[oriigirii]

The Brothers reacting to an MC who likes to collect... rocks?

It was certainly a strange hobby to behold, but there were more than meets the eye within these rocks! If you crack them open they often hold such a wonderful design, and on the rare occasion they can probably even hide a geode or two, regardless, you were very passionate for these things and it just so happens that it catches some of the brother’s attention.

(A/N: Ill be doing 2 at the time for now UwU  

Warnings: none! 

Reader: Gender Neutral!)

~ 눈_눈 Lucifer ~

* Lucifer always kept an eye on you ever since you got to Devildom

* Cuz of this, he was probably the first to notice your... strange addiction

* He saw how you always seem to stop on your tracks to pick up a shiny smooth stone lying on the side of the gates infront of the HoL while he walked home with you.

* Or how you’d snatch a few from the gardens on an early Sunday morning when you think that everyone was still asleep

* Since it was harmless enough, he never really bothered to call you out on it 

* Lowkey does find it cute how something so small can already make you so happy, such an easy-to-please cutie you are

* It wasn’t a problem till he was told that you seem to be arriving late more often for your classes 

* At first he thought that maybe you were simply caught up in some mess from his brothers again 

* Maybe perhaps Belphie snuck you off to sleep again than go to class 

* But no, when he’d confronted you he was pretty surprised, and at the same time, confused at your answer.

* “There were these cool looking red geodes I accidentally found on the back, b-but I mustve dropped them at some point when Mammon and I were rushing to class...so I’ve been trying to look for more of them for my collection... Sorry...”

*To be fair you did look pretty apologetic for it and really didnt mean to botch up your schedule, but still.

* He lets you go pretty easily, with a small lecture, but thats about it. 

* Although you never did stop looking for that geode, you even pulled Beel to help with promise of a homemade cake to try and cover as much ground, but nothing.

* You came home that day a little defeated

* but much to your surprise when you reached your room, a small box was waiting outside your door and inside was none other than the beautiful red geode youve been so desperate to look for. And... well, you didnt have to guess who was kind enough to give it to you.

* The next day, you do go over to thank him properly for the help, and explain that you had been extremely captivated with that specfic geode because of how it reminds you of the first born’s eyes.

* This boi is highkey stunned but tryna make it lowkey though (pride 100)

 * Definitely amused and flattered. 

* From now on, he does continue to give you geodes to add to your collection, and would even accompany you on your little endeavors if his work load isnt too unbearing. Away from the eyes of his brothers of course.

* Hed definitely want to seek the perfect geode too that reminds him of you in return that he can decorate on his desk while hes working. Even better, maybe have the geodes crafted to a perfect ring that you two can wear.

-------------

~ ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ Mammon ~

* Not like youre complaining either

* Today was another weekend, and weekends mean you guys get to hang out!  

* Not like you two were ever seperated in the first place anyways, he’s like an octopus that just wont let go 

* Anyways, He casually enters your room, phone in hand as he scrolls through various articles featuring his modelling work, he was gonna show off as usual, afterall, this man LIVES for your praise.

* “Oi! (Y/N) Check this out! They ranked me number 1 on the most handsome model in Devildom! And I didn’t cheat the system this ti---”

* You had been busy in your cabinet when he walked in, so you didnt have time to warn him of your mess on your bed.

* Hence why, when he was starting to brag about his latest achievement, it was immediately cut off by a pained yelp.

* Mammon, too busy on his DDD, didnt notice the shiny geodes and stones you had left on your bed to arrange for your new dsplay case, and because of this, (his dumbass) plopped on the bed, landing right on the sharp edges of the beautiful rocks.

* It wasnt fun.

* You had rushed to help him as he started stroking his back from the sting, he was a demon so he was pretty sturdy, but cmon, landing on a buncha hard rocks was still not good.

* You did rush to go get him an ice pack for his poor back, and when you came back, he seemed to have been healed almost immediately as he stares at your collection with a big shine on his own eyes, they can rival the geodes at this point.

* “(Y/N)! Why didn’t you tell me you had these? Don’t yknow how much these would sell? Hell, I can even probably sell them for an even higher price!”

* The rolling of your eyes was very intense that Diavolo could feel it from his castle and you pushed that ice pack on his face to make him stop.

* You did make it very clear that if he ever decides to try and get any of these stones, you were gonna be snitching him to Beel for eating his pudding the other day (You wouldn’t though would you?)

* Still that does shut down his money making plans, but he does question you for it, why hoard these valuable items when you could make thousands of grimm for it? You even seem to have a talent for finding these too, it seems like a huge waste, and so you proceed to explain to him your love for these shiny geodes.

* First image in his head was you being a relative to a crow, or you being a crow in general, because if anything, thats what his little crows do, they pass him shiny stuff they find along the day, of course theyre not as extravagant as these geodes, but it doesnt negate the fact you definitely have crow energy, and hes so down for it. His love for you just grew tenfold.

* But who knew it can grow further? Because you eventually explain to him that the geodes you collected, or the simple stones you had, all were special because all of them hold a special memory. One of the smoother stones you had was the same stone you used to display your mom’s favorite rose garden, it even had your initials that you scrapped on when your were 5, another was a geode you found on your field trip at the human world and so on.

* Mammon definitely had his attention to you the entire time, this boy is smitten and he just loves hearing you talk about each one, he grows a small appreciation for them now and he can understand why you wouldn’t want to sell them away. But then he noticed you reach for a much cleaner, tear drop looking geode, it was a blue-yellow mix.

* You explain to him that this was your first geode found when you went here in Devildom, the first you also carved as it was more jagged than this when you found it, and of course, you chose to keep it cause it reminded you for your first man.

* Mammon was so moved,and he was just sitting there, red as a strawberry and mouth open like a fish out of water, but hes not the only one because you too were blushing like an idiot as you held the special rock.

* He does end up trying to act his typical ways, but he was nothing but a stuttering mess, and much to his embarassment, he was also tearing up.

* Please hug him, he needs it, he just cant help but feel so flattered that you dedicated a geode for him and he felt that pride and love swell to incredible levels, you definitely have him yearning for you even more.

* Next time you go out to seek more geodes here in Devildom, he might just come with you along with his army of crows, and even cuter, his crows would just hand you special rocks every now and then.

* This boy might just start his own collection now thanks to you, but most his geodes will just be dedicated to you

----------

A h h h hope you guys like it! I know its a weird premise, but I honestly do love gemstones and stuff lol, also yes i did indulge too much on Mammon, hush,but yeah, ill do more of the others soon!

(Art by me!)

[if-you-built-yourself-a-myth]

Check Ignition: Part IX

That Sobbe fake-dating Hogwarts au that one person asked for and I dove into headfirst

First part // Previous part // Next part

This fic is wrapping up and I love writing longform, so send me your new requests! (or ideas for oneshots, I love those too)

Robbe was ashamed to admit many of the things that made his apartment home. Here it was, the truth of it: everything here was in some way tainted by sickness. He didn’t talk about it while he was at school. He didn’t talk about school while he was here. It made sense to keep the two lives distinctly separate, save from a few consolation sessions with Jens and the occasional fact for Sander.

He bumped his shoulders on the narrow doorframe as he lugged his trunk inside, his mother right behind him. In the entryway, on a tiny side table, three bottles of prescription medication waited their arrival. Each had a sticky note designating the time of next dose. Past that, the hall led straight to a kitchen at its end. Three rooms—two bedrooms, one bathroom—broke off before then. Their living room branched from the kitchen, big enough for a couch and a flatscreen TV as well as a small-ish Christmas tree.

This apartment worked in a way that his friends’ magic-filled homes did not. Sure, when his father was around, they never did the dishes manually or resorted to blankets when the heating went out, but it wasn’t what Jens had. Perhaps that was why Robbe did not see Jens much over the holidays.

Robbe crossed the threshold to his bedroom and dropped his things on his bed. His thoughts returned, as they were wont to do, to Sander. Sander must be all alone at Hogwarts right now. Robbe didn’t know what to make of him.

“It’s Christmas,” said Robbe aloud to jar himself from that rabbit trail. He put away everything that mattered. Scattered everything that didn’t across the floor. There, now it felt like his dormitory at school.

Against his better judgement, he scrawled out something on a scrap of paper. Maybe if he could contact Sander, things would make more sense. Or maybe he was stupid. Either way. A simple tracking spell, an open window, and it would zip its way to its recipient at Hogwarts. He doubted he’d get in trouble for such a simple use of underage magic.

Happy Christmas. Sorry you have to spend it alone. Yeah, it totally didn’t sound sarcastic.

Robbe let the message go. He watched it disappear over the London skyline, dancing above the twinkling lights of the city. This view had nothing on the view from Hogwarts. After that, he was exhausted from exams week. He curled up on his mattress—the sheets on this one were a nice touch—and went right to sleep. There was time for life to happen tomorrow, and he didn’t fancy making conversation with his mother so soon into their two weeks of forced proximity.

***

Robbe spent most of the next days hiding out in his bedroom. Jens took care of his required communication rather early in their separation; the owl arrived at Robbe’s window before lunchtime the second day: Robbe, my parents invited Jana for Christmas dinner. She'd going to be there. Please inform me of your plans as soon as possible, so I can join you instead. Not really. I honestly think we're going to get back together. Wow, it sounds dumb as I write it. Have a Happy Christmas, if I don't write again before then, and make sure you eat all your vegetables. Love, Jens. Robbe hastily scrawled a reply and sent it right back: Jens, I never have any plans. You can come whenever you want to. Love, Robbe.

Around dinnertime on the fourth day, Robbe walked back into the hallway and down to the kitchen, where his mother poured hot chocolate powder in two mugs. She dumped a can of soup into a pot and set it to simmer on the burner, stirring occasionally, while she microwaved a measuring cup of water. Something rammed into the window at full force, startling her into dropping her spoon.

She put a hand on her forehead as if checking for fever. “Robbe, what was that?”

“Owl, Mom,” said Robbe. He tried not to be frustrated with her. There was just so much on his plate, and he wasn’t supposed to be here, because he was supposed to be with Sander at school. If Sander was doing okay.

Robbe’s mother had never gotten the hang of a magical household. Robbe didn’t have the right to be bitter about it.

“Should I open the window?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

His mother slid the window open. A barn owl flapped into the apartment building, despite their landlord’s explicit animal-of-any-kind prohibition. It landed on top of their refrigerator and ruffled its brown and white feathers. Clutched in its beak was a folded piece of parchment, tied with a long twine thread, sealed with a stamp of red wax. Robbe recognized the owl from the Hogwarts owlery. They were general-use.

He jumped up to take the note. Jens did not usually send two owls in one day. Aaron’s owl was white.

“I’ll never get used to that,” said his mother as the owl flew back out the window. An alarm on her cell phone beeped several times. “Oh, pills. I’ll be right back.” She rushed into the foyer.

Robbe surveyed the apartment in her absence. A sprig of mistletoe hung over the space connecting the kitchen to the living room. Several wrapped presents rested beneath the tree, one or two with his name in brightened cursive that he could see from this far away. He spotted the special picture ornament he made for his mother when he was little, the photograph of her and him riding on a swing in a public park. They used to get along.

He looked down at the paper in his hands and broke the seal.

There were no words written. Only a telephone number. Jens and Aaron did not have phones in their houses; muggle technology was useless in areas permeated with magic. Moyo owned one for clout purposes, sometimes, and this could be him—except, he did not use the school’s owls if he could help it. He borrowed from Jens.

That left one person who might want to contact Robbe.

“Alright, soup,” said his mother, reentering the kitchen. “Tonight, I was thinking we should catch up on TV. Honestly, I don’t know how you survive without it at Hogwarts.”

“There are other things to do,” said Robbe.

“Maybe, but not as exciting.” She took the soup pot from the burner and poured it into two bowls, which she then carried into the living room. They stored a small folding table under the couch. She set it up like a coffee table and left their bowls there. If they had any class, they might have the money to afford something made of wood, at least.

“Can I actually—” Robbe began. He gestured to the phone number.

“You’re spending your quality time with me,” said his mother. She patted the spot beside her on the couch. “C’mon. I’ve been recording everything. Oh, hang on.” She waited until he sat down to lean over. “What’s been going on at school. Tell me all about it. You never write.”

“You never got used to owls.”

“That’s an awful reason.”

“Nothing important happens,” he assured her. “I’d write if it mattered.”

“Nothing? No one special?”

“No, Mom, nothing you’d want to hear about.”

“You know I don’t believe that,” she said. “Handsome boy like you.” But she sat back and turned on the television. Christmastime here was TV shows, silence, dancing around one another. This was why Robbe would’ve liked to stay on campus with Sander, when Sander still wanted him there. If Sander ever wanted him there. They watched three whole episodes of Call the Midwife without saying a single word to each other.

Robbe’s mother was a good person. He knew she was a good person. She tried so hard to be things for him, to be involved in his life. He understood her illness wasn’t her fault at a basic level. He understood that he was wrong to be angry about an innocent, poking question that any parent would have likely posed.

But there was a part of him missing that she couldn’t give back after she’d taken it. What kind of parent leaves their fourteen-year-old in the house to care for everything while she lies in bed all summer? What kind of parent—

There was someone special, there was Sander. Sander and his mother were apart because they needed to be, because school and home did not mix.

Robbe rose from the couch during the credits of the third and motioned apologetically to his mother. He pointed toward the bathroom. On the way there, he snatched her phone from the kitchen counter. His fingers shook as he dialed the number.

Someone picked up on the second ring. “I just got home,” said Robbe. He didn’t know why he felt so bad about not calling sooner.

“You got my letter,” said Sander. Robbe’s heart turned into a dozen origami butterflies. He tried to catch them in a net and stomp them underfoot.

“Owls are cool,” Robbe said.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Good.”

“Good.”

The line went silent. Was that it? Did Sander send a whole-ass latter to hear Robbe’s voice for two seconds? Kind of romantic, yes, but it didn’t do anything to fix anything. Robbe couldn’t reconcile the way Sander spoke to him with the way Sander acted around him, the way Sander acted around other people.

This could have been their time. Two whole weeks of kissing, or whatever it was couples did went they were unsupervised.

“Listen,” said Sander. “I’ve been thinking.” His sentences took on a sort of pregnant quality, as if each contained multitudes more within it. Sander was fighting down dozens of others to say each one.

“About what?”

“About, um, you. I guess.” Sander cleared his throat. “You really liked me?”

“I guess so.”

“How is—how’s your mother?”

Robbe didn’t know where something like that would come from. “She’s fine for now. We’re watching Call the Midwife.”

Sander’s laugh sounded forced. “My mother likes that too. Is it… not good to be there?”

“Well, she hasn’t drowned me in a bathtub yet. You sound like you have something to say.”

“I was thinking we could just—talk.”

What the hell was this? “Sander,” said Robbe, doing his very best to sound like a prefect. “It was a Christmas card. If you have something to say—” He tried to channel the voice Jens used when he was disappointed after a Quidditch match, the kind of steely cool that could only come from a place of care. As it was, he knew Sander could hear the hope festering beneath his skin. He wants to tell me he loves me.

“I—I don’t have anything to say,” said Sander, but it was an obvious lie.

“Then I’ll hang up.” Robbe braced himself against the bathroom counter. Polished marble reflected his face almost as clearly as the mirror ahead. “I said I didn’t want to be friends. I can’t handle being friends yet.”

“No, don’t hang up.”

“Any more questions about Mom?”

Sander’s breath caught. “You don’t like me.”

“Not this again.”

“No, really, you don’t.” Sander spoke faster. “You said so. I don’t know, when it was fake, I thought—” He coughed. “I can’t go back to nothing.”

“I said I liked you,” said Robbe. “You don’t make any sense.”

“Yes, but—”

“Did you really send an owl back to talk me out of a crush? Or are you in love with my mom?”

“No, I—”

“Good.” Robbe knocked his toothbrush cup off the sink, sending it clattering to the floor. He heard his mother shifting around in the living room, poised to come check on him any minute. This conversation would have to end sooner rather than later. “I have to go. If you’ve still got something, spit it out.”

There were a few seconds of silence. Robbe could hear the beginnings of a sentence several times, nothing quite reaching the air.

“Okay,” he said. “Goodbye.” He tapped the end button. That might have been a little harsh, yes, but it was Christmas. The couch and Call the Midwife awaited. He rejoined his mother in the living room, leaving her cell phone plugged into its charger beside their toaster.

They watched another whole episode. It pained him to think of her loitering about the house while he was gone, rearranging the cabinets and recording television shows, even if he hated the thought of staying with her more. He didn’t get Sander’s interest… come to think of it, Sander was concerned about her during their make-out session in the workshop.

The phone started ringing.

“I’ve got it,” said Robbe, before his mother could get off the couch. This time, he took it all the way to his bedroom and locked the door to answer it.

Sander was quieter this time. “You called the number.”

“It would have been rude not to. You didn’t sign it. It could have been anybody.”

“You knew who it was.”

There wasn’t much to say to that, so Robbe waited instead of responding. Sander filled the gap after a while, in something even smaller than a whisper, something that sent shivers down Robbe’s spine. “I miss you.” A whistle sounded somewhere in the distance.

Too much. Ugh, why did Robbe think he could handle something like this? He did what he always did when Sander was involved: he was honest. “Look, you don’t make any sense to me. I hear from Noor that you’re head-over-heels in love with me, I hear from you that you’re back with Britt. Well, you’re not, so I’m hearing you’re a liar, too.” Robbe bit his lip to keep from getting choked up. “We barely even had anything, Sander, but I loved every second. You can’t keep pulling on my strings, okay? I can’t handle it.”

“I don’t mean to be pulling,” said Sander. Something ruffled against the receiver. “Your mother, though, she—”

“Good, then don’t bother calling again unless you have something new to tell me. Goodbye.” Robbe smashed the end button this time, scratching the screen protector with his nail. He promised himself he’d fix it later, provided no one got him trouble for his magical Christmas card to Sander.

Back into the living room. His mother lay down across all the cushions and monopolized the space. She pulled a crocheted blanket across her legs, her eyes glassy as she stared at the TV. Robbe flashed back to his worst year again—getting up for school and seeing her there, unmoving.

The last Christmas they spent together, her medication mixture made her violently ill at the slightest hint of indigestion. That could happen this year, it could. There was too much going on in Robbe’s life to deal with her right now.

They’d make blueberry pancakes together. She’d microwave soup for dinner. This was his life.

The phone screen lit up once more with an incoming call from the number as before. Robbe let it ring out. Another came. When he let that ring, another. He answered on Sander’s fifth attempt.

“Please don't hang up this time. Your mother is sick,” blurted Sander on the other end, almost as if he read Robbe’s mind. If his speech was unhinged earlier, now it was a runaway train. “She’s sick and you hate her and I’m sick so you’ll hate me. That was it.” He took a deep breath and the phone line crackled—Hogwarts wouldn’t have the best reception, would it? “I have liked you for forever, okay? That’s my something new.”

Wow. Okay. What the fuck.

“What?” managed Robbe.

“That’s what I needed to say. Before. You don’t like me because you can’t. It has to be over because it can’t ever happen.” Sander’s voice lowered. “I thought it might hurt you less if you knew. But I also can't sit around and pretend that nothing's wrong.”

Robbe rehashed every conversation they ever had in a second. He did not talk about his mother much in any of those—he tried to keep her out of it. She frustrated him to no end. Her stupid pills, the stupid genetics that doomed him to a future of dealing with the same problems, his stupid father walking out. If it wasn’t for her, everything would be fine. But he didn’t—he didn’t hate her.

Why would Sander think he hated her? What was going on?

The library, the offhand comment on Lexapro. The workshop, how he said he didn’t want to return to her because she’d ruin Christmas. The way he referred to her on his and Sander’s second astronomy tower rendezvous: “sick in the head.” Every little thought he had about her.

“It was always going to be like this,” said Sander. Wind blew against his end of the phone; Robbe had to strain to hear most of the words. “I thought when it was fake, it could be okay, because, well, you know, but then you kissed me and I just—There’s no hiding it forever, is there? It's got to come out.”

“What did you say about my mom?” Robbe demanded.

“I stopped it because it isn't what you want.”

More than that. Britt came to Robbe in the astronomy tower with a slip of paper and a warning of sorts—He isn’t going to tell you. And what had Willem said to his friends, when Sander was asleep the day after they kissed? Was that something that just happened? Were there times that Willem couldn’t wake Sander up?

Robbe knew what that meant. Britt’s voice echoed in his head. It’s hard to tell between what he wants and what’s a symptom. He’d thought it controlling at the time, and it was, but he also understood the feeling. When you loved someone, you wanted to keep them safe. Robbe was a certified idiot. Puzzle pieces falling into place.

Sander did not slow down. “You were going to stay here with me to avoid being there with her. But we’re the same. We’ve always been the same. It’s bipolar, Robbe, and it’s fine that you don’t want it. What matters is that I can’t live with nothing from you, okay? We can’t just not talk.”

Robbe’s hand went numb from gripping the phone so hard.

“I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to hate me like you hate your mom.”

“I don’t hate my mom,” said Robbe. “I won’t hate you—don’t hate you.” He felt bewildered, standing in the middle of his living room, with this crisis happening a whole train ride away. What the fuck was going on? His mother raised her eyebrow at him from her position on the couch.

“You do, you said so. And you’d hate me. I didn’t want to upset you, I didn’t—” Something in the background blared, loud enough to mask the rest of Sander’s sentence. Wind? Rain?

“Where are you?” Robbe asked. Britt’s piece of paper—what did it say? He should have taken the time to set it aside, stupid stupid stupid—

“This was stupid,” said Sander, suddenly even more rushed. “I’m sorry. I should have sent another letter. I let Jens talk me into it—” Robbe waved his wand in the general direction of his bedroom—the Ministry of Magic could expel him for underage sorcery—and summoned Britt’s paper. Still a mess of cursive lines. Still blurry.

His mother made a face like, is everything okay? He nodded back.

“I’m putting too much on you,” Sander continued on the phone. “I don’t want to be another thing you have to worry about. That’s why it has to be over. We’re over. But I don’t want to never hear from you again. That’s not what I want.”

“Are you alright?” Robbe whispered.

“I’m fine. I’m, out--” Sander sounded a million miles away in a snowstorm. The end of the sentence got lost. "Moyo and Jens said you'd be here, and free, so...I'm in love with you. This is my something new." The line clicked dead, although Robbe couldn't tell if it was Sander's decision to end the call or fate had intervened. His arms dropped to his sides, the phone to the floor. Something sounded at the door to the apartment. A knock? Robbe remained rooted to the spot.

There wasn't a list he could put together for this situation. He did not hate his mother. Sometimes he hated her. He hated what her disorder did to her. He hated coming home and finding her somewhere, not doing anything, holding a glass of water without the will to bring it to her lips. He hated having to search all the cabinets for bowls when she reorganized their kitchen at three in the morning. Everything he said to Sander, he meant. Everything about her. That could be number one on the list. Number two, he loved Sander. Sometimes he convinced himself he didn't. He thought of his mother wasting away on their couch, lying about taking her pills, camping out on the bathroom floor during rough weeks. Home and school were supposed to be separate. He did not want to think of Sander throwing up blueberry pancakes after taking a handful of pills. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He needed time to think.

The knocking came again, harder. Robbe walked over as if in a dream, barely touching the floor. He vaguely remembered Jens saying something in his letter about visiting, though this seemed short notice. He only said yes to the proposition because he knew Jens would never actually make good on the offer. Robbe opened the door to Sander, hair ruffled, eyes wild. Fucking Sander. What the fuck. Sander's brown roots were more visible than the bleach blond, even though they did not seem to be any longer. He wore the same leather jacket as their first date wrapped tight around his shoulders. In one hand, he held Moyo's broomstick— Robbe could recognize it by the scrapes on the wood. He had the same look on his face that he had that night in the dormitories when he was drunk and reaching out for Robbe. This wasn't happening. What the hell was happening?

"We need to talk to each other," said Sander, without pause for breath. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything, and I'll ruin anything else, I know I will, but you have to tell me we can."

[scribble-blog]

Soulmate AU part 12!!

First • Previous • Here • Next

“Thank you, Kaalki,” Marinette stepped out into her bedroom. It was, predictably, unchanged from how she had left it.

“Is that you, Mari?” Her Papa’s voice called from downstairs, and she called back.

“Yes!” She gave her room another once over, eyes lingering on the closed closet door where the Miracle Box hid before climbing down, only to be caught in her father’s arms.

“It’s only been a few days,” she complained as he squeezed her. “You don’t need to suffocate me!”

“But I’ve missed my little girl,” Tom Dupain pouted.

“Miss me with me on the ground then,” Marinette rolled her eyes, but she hugged him back before he put her down. “I’ve missed you too, Papa. How’s Maman?”

“She’s napping, after that akuma had to wake her up early this morning,” he told her, giving her one last squeeze. “I’ll be back down in the bakery.”

Marinette gave him a kiss and then went to knock at her parent’s bedroom door. When she heard the answering yawn, she entered.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Maman defended herself with another yawn.

“It’s the midnight Akumas,” Marinette found herself laughing. “They’re the reason I fall asleep in science sometimes. My Hawkmoth suspicions list has sleep-deprived written right at the top, with three underlines.”

“I know what Tikki said,” Maman scowled, “but are we sure I can’t just take over being Ladybug for you?”

Tikki popped her head out of the pillow as well. “It wouldn’t work out, Sabine.”

“I have to be Ladybug, Maman,” Marinette echoed. “It’s...” there aren’t words, not really, for how right it feels down to her bones to be Ladybug. The times that she’s used other Miraculous are always interesting, but there is nothing that compares.

“I know,” Sabine said softly. “I know that you’re... chosen, or bound, or whatever word we use. Even if I’m not a true holder, being Wūguī feels more correct for me than being Ladybug.”

“You do a wonderful job at being Ladybug too though,” Tikki supported. “And after working with you, I can understand where Marinette gets it from!”

Tikki got up and floated over, alighting on Marinette’s shoulder before gasping.

“You met them!”

Marinette felt her face go from normal to bright red almost instantaneously. Sabine sat up straight, looking from her daughter to the red Kwami. “Met who?”

Marinette scrambled to grab Tikki as if it would be possible to contain her and keep her from saying, “She met her soulmate! I can feel it! Oh, Marinette, this is wonderful!”

Her Maman’s lips curled into a teasing grin. Of course, when Marinette had become Ladybug, her parents had found each other’s names, rolling up the insides of their forearms, where the were on constant display. They’d poked and prodded at Marinette about hers ever since, even if they ultimately respected her privacy. “Oh? Marinette? Why didn’t you tell us? How could you rob us of the joy of knowing about our future child?”

Marinette managed to make a noise somewhere between a wheeze and a whistling teakettle. “Maman, nooooo-“

“Oh, but now we’ll have to join you in Gotham~” her mother stood up and started bounding about the room, grabbing a bag and beginning to fill it, “meet them and their family, plan a vacation to get to know each other, start figuring out if you’ll get married in Gotham or Paris-“

“MAMAN!” Marinette had reached the reddest she’s ever been. “I only just met him earlier today! Stop planning weddings and give me back Tikki so I can meet with the Gotham heroes!”

“A dress designed by you, and the cake made by us, of course, and Adrien and Chloé and Luka and Kagami as your bridesmaids...”

Marinette grabbed the Kwami and marched out of the room. “I’ll be back tomorrow with Tikki unless there’s another akuma.”

“Oh, Tom!” Sabine called as she left. “Have you heard?”

“Oh, Marinette, she’s just teasing,” the Kwami giggled at her still blushing holder. “But it truly is wonderful that you’ve been able to meet your soulmate! Now we can truly balance the Miraculous, and you’ll be stronger than ever in your fight against Hawkmoth!”

Marinette froze in her steps at the bottom of the entrance to her room. “What do you mean? Balance the Miraculous?”

“Well,” Tikki’s big blue eyes blinked up at her. “Adrien is a wonderful Chat Noir, of course, but the balance of the Miraculous is always going to be off, with one true holder and one non true holder.”

“That’s-“ Marinette let out a strangled breath. “Tikki. Tell me honestly. Is there going to be any ill effects on me or Adrien just because we aren’t perfectly matched like that?”

“No!” Tikki rushes to comfort her. “Simply that you’ll never be at your true full strength unless your Chat Noir is also a true holder for Plagg. Which, by everything I know, your soulmate should be!”

The icy grip on Marinette’s chest released. “I’m not giving my soulmate the Black Cat Miraculous, Tikki.”

Tikki tilted her small head. “But-“

“No.” Marinette sighed. “I don’t care about my strength. As long as it won’t hurt either of us, I’m not ever going to take Plagg away from his chosen. Not for anything. Adrien is my partner, no matter what.”

Tikki sighed, but she didn’t sound particularly put out. “I guess I knew you’d say that. Even if it helped fight Hawkmoth, I don’t suppose you would be my Marinette if you did something like that.” The Kwami snuggled back into her neck. “Maybe we could give him another Miraculous. It would be fun to see if he’s as wonderful a hero as you.”

“I think he could be,” Marinette climbed into her room, remembering the series of, quite frankly, adorably awkward conversations she’d had that day. “He’s... a conundrum.”

That was the easiest way to describe her feeling about Damian. On the one hand, he was rich, hot, had a wry humor that made it difficult for her to keep a straight face, and a caring side that she very quickly realized he had done his best to bury. On the other...

He was proud, seemed shut off and cold to anyone who he didn’t deem as worth his energy investment, and- Marinette was, frankly, a bit wary of the way he’d fought at the Gardens. The grace and confidence he’d moved with was impressive, but no one learned to move like that for no reason. Even self defense only stretched so far.

“Do you think it’s possible that my soulmate isn’t exactly a good person?” Her lips are forming the question before she can stop them.

Tikki squeezes against her. “If he weren’t a good person, he wouldn’t be your soulmate, Marinette. Whatever made you think that, I’m sure there’s a reason behind it.”

Marinette nodded slowly. “If you say so. Hey, is there a reason it feels like I’m being electrocuted when I touch Damian?”

Tikki giggles. “Oh, that’s just- a safety measure of sorts! Throughout all the different Ladybugs I’ve had, quite a few of you decided to put your duty above your personal life and connections- to my chagrin. This makes it pretty impossible to ignore! Besides, it doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“No,” Marinette admitted. “And who knows if we would have actually met and somehow touched each other during the rest of our trip? But still, grabbing his arm and getting a hundred volts was a bit off putting.”

Tikki shrugged. “It’s not something I control. And it changes with each Ladybug! One time, I had a Ladybug whose eyes would glow whenever she was near her soulmate!”

The thought of what her friends would say about that made Marinette immediately slump with relief that it hadn’t happened to her. The connection she and Damian shared was subtle enough for her, thank you. “Let’s get back to Gotham. I’ve only got a few hours before I need to meet with Red Robin, and Chloé and Adrien are still waiting to ambush me about Damian. Kaalki?”

The horse Kwami zoomed out from the spot on her bed, ready as ever. “At your call, Marinette!”

“Full Gallop!”

TAGLIST:

@the-fusionist @rebecarojas07 @lowandco @kotaleartzu @resignedcatservant @alenee13 @mystery-5-5 @ladybug-182 @actual-disaster-human @loysydark @rumbelle18 @magic-miraculous @vixen-uchiha @athena452 @mochegato @ash-amg @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @thestressmademedoit @sassakitty @doriebell @jessigurl-design @emotionalsupportginger @kceedraws @kuroko26 @moonystars14 @toodaloo-kangaroo @myazael @theatreandcomicfreak @mer-mel @dahjokester @northernbluetongue @area51qt @renscorpio @redscarlet95 @razzledazzle247 @rosep16 @tired-butterfly @catthhay @shamefullove @imanerddealwith @chaosace @captainmac6 @bigpicklebananatree @abrx2002 @cici-schnee @multplelifes @shreky-boi @purple-people-eaters-productions @crazylittlemunchkin @weird-pale-blonde-person

[heartshyuck]

💭💭💭💭💗

THANK YOU BBY ILY <3

the order of society is a series that I've been working on for some time now. Jaemin, Doyoung and Yuta, possibly Jaehyun we'll see how it goes. It's a magic, cult, elite private school, mystery murder au, Doyoung’s part is at like 25k but it won't see the light of day for a few more months 💀 it's killing me honestly.

you turn to face him abruptly, just outside the company building, and he almost falls into you - catching himself just barely. You blink repeatedly as your eyes fall onto his lips and that annoying smirk adornes his face and out of annoyance or embarrassment or maybe both, you turn and enter into the revolving doors. Doyoung’s quick to follow, entering the same segment as you; his back pressed against yours as the narrow space is clearly only designed for one. 

“What are you doing?” you ask as you turn your head - wrong move. You curse yourself as your face is brought so closely to his, lips almost touching and you’re afraid if he answers your question they might just. He doesn’t answer, instead his hand makes its way to the small of your back and he pushes you out of the spinning glass, your eyes still on him. He leads you through the lobby, saying hello to security before stopping before the elevators. Pressing the button you wait side by side, his hand still placed on your back. You watch the numbers decrease as the elevator descends, counting as you nibble your bottom lip trying not to think about the placement of his hand. And once the elevator dings, doors sliding open, you run inside - back against the wall - wrong move. 

He stands opposite you and you scan him up and down, eyes shameless in their search. Your cheeks are warm and you feel unbelievably hot; letting out a rush of air out of your nose in hopes to calm your beating heart. 

“You’re flustered”

“I am not-” 

“Do I make you flustered?” He closes the gap between you, looking between your eyes and down to your lips, so close his breath fans over you. And he smiles, cocky, hubris and absolutely aware of his effect. 

You turn away from him, shoving him slightly with your shoulder - completely flustered and he lets out a small laugh. The rare noise is enough for you to look back at him. Wrong move. He smiles down at you, not his scary sinister ones or his smug ones and not his i just won one. This was sweet and pure and gummy; who would have known a worldwide asshole could have such a pretty smile. You feel your heart jump slightly and instantly you turn back to the doors, why is the elevator taking so long. And just as the thought enters your mind, you’re met with that same joyful ding as the doors slide open. You rush out not waiting any longer for whatever Doyoung decides to do. He’s gone insane. 

Ask game: send me 💭 and ill share an idea for a story I've wanted to write but haven't had the time to

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Pinned under wreckage. Hmm, how about Intruality with Remus a construction worker where something went wrong? Preferably happy ending but any will do. (keep up the good work! You're amazing!!)

(Prompts with boxes have been taken, highlighted have been written)

Requests for this card are closed, thank you to anyone who sent in requests! If you don’t want to see these you can block the tag #false bthb. As always shoot me an ask if you wanna be tagged in future stories, whether it be for bad things happen bingo or any of the other series, one shots or in general!

Thanks for the request, I hope you like it!

General Taglist (ask to be added or removed!): @im-an-anxious-wreck @logans-library

Hold Onto Me

Summary: Patton had just wanted to deliver lunch to his husband when he saw the emergency vehicles at the construction site. All he can hope for is that keeping ahold of his hand will be enough. (Happy Ending)

Warnings: anxiety, major injury, blood, hospitals, emergency situation (if there are more please let me know)

Prompt: Pinned Down By Wreckage

Ships: Romantic Intruality (Patton x Remus)

WC: 4038

Disclaimer: I don't think this is how construction practices work but for the sake of the beginning that’s how it's gonna work because angst. The procedure to get him out is however fairly accurate, I did a bit of research as to how someone is rescued from that kind of situation but other than that please take the accuracy of this situation with a grain of salt.

Remus’ heavy boots thudded loudly on the thin catwalk leading over top of where the scaffolding was set in place for the floor of the third story of the new building, not that he could hear it over the general din of construction work. Everything looked good, he was only here to do a general sweep over before anyone else came up to lay the insulation and then actual flooring to make sure nothing would collapse. Being so high up he had a wonderful view of the fair bit of land whoever was moving into this house would own when it was done: a field with woods surrounding it with a long, winding road leading up to the front entrance. 

It was stupidly extravagant, some dream house Roman would have loved to live in if he was rich enough to afford but Remus had been so excited to work on it, and still was. He got to help with the design work and use his hands for hours and hours and even though he came home tired and sweaty he still loved it with every fiber of his being. Not to mention he got to go home to Patton who would smile and cup his cheek to kiss him before pushing him down the hall to shower while he started on dinner. He’d come out to help and they’d settle down at the table or couch to talk or watch a movie and then either work on their own things or cuddle up in bed depending on how tired they were. It was mundane and domestic most of the time but Remus loved that with Patton. He had him and his job and his stupid brother and he couldn’t be happier; everything in his life made him feel safe and happy and comfortable and he couldn’t imagine asking for anything better.

Of course it could all be ruined in an instant. One wrong step and he could certainly plummet to his death. The scaffolding could crack and he’d be impaled on a jagged piece of wood. He could break every bone in his body or be paralyzed for life and be a burden on everyone who knew him and- Remus shook his head impatiently, willing the thoughts away as he turned carefully and began making the rest of the way across the catwalk. Thoughts like that kept him on his toes at least but it was best not to dwell on them too much. He was always careful and he wasn’t about to jinx himself by thinking of everything that could go wrong on the job.

He almost laughed when he felt it: a shift under his feet that meant something could be loose. Of course he would manage to have the most ironic timing in the world. Carefully stepping back he looked closely to see if he could tell what the problem was but he saw nothing. Biting his lip he looked back up at the last couple of feet he had to walk. He should definitely turn around and tell someone to look and fix whatever might be wrong, but he could also save the time and try to figure out himself what it could be if he could just get a better vantage point. It was only a couple of feet, if he stepped wide enough he might be able to avoid whatever problem there was.

Mind made up he stepped forward again more gingerly than he had ever done anything in his life, faintly hearing the lunch bell ringing and the gradual silence that was left from the various machines being turned off and tools being put down. Good, he thought, that way if anything happens no one’s around to get hurt. He screwed his mouth to the side as he quickly dismissed that thought as well, mentally kicking himself for the possible jinx. It was only a couple of feet, just one step and he could hug the wall and lean over to see what the problem was. Honestly with the way the skeleton of the wall was he could probably squeeze himself between the gaps of the unfinished floor and climb down to safety to avoid even having to hop back to the catwalk and go all the way back around. Leaning forward a bit for stability he brought his arms out and quickly lunged for the one, grabbing a hold of two support beams and digging into them so hard his fingernails began to ache. Despite that his new position seemed to be fine, no more shifting under his feet as the tips of his boots found a bit of purchase on the floor's framework by the wall. Grinning through the adrenaline rush he maneuvered himself around until he was facing back towards the room and carefully surveyed the floor. They had laid the framework out in a hurry- ill advised but for the time crunch they were under it had seemed necessary. The consequence for them rushing it though thankfully just seemed to be a missing support plank, making a couple of the beams bow under the catwalk when they were walked on. An easy enough fix and thankfully one that would be relatively quick.

Remus looked down with a grimace. He could climb down...but he had already gotten in trouble once for using scaffolding as a jungle gym even if he was trying to be careful not to be caught. He’d rather not be labeled as a liability not even halfway through the project and since in reality there wasn’t that much wrong with the floor he really didn’t have an excuse not to walk back the way he’d come. Sighing in disappointment he stepped forward and began to make his way back across, the shifting under his feet only making him slightly nervous as he took a bigger step to avoid the worst of it- only to immediately regret it as the entire catwalk shifted to the right as the board he was using slid away from the framework. The catwalk was mostly just a series of shorter boards placed in a sort of grid pattern so you could walk around without there actually having to be a floor. The board he was standing on and currently trying his hardest to rebalance on had shifted under his weight making the edge fall off the board underneath it, meaning it was now hanging onto a beam less than three inches thick by a couple of inches at its end. So not only was then the floor not laid well but the catwalk hadn’t been properly secured either, and if he squinted even closer there wasn’t much of  the floor that was laid completely securely.

Swearing profusely a selfish part of him wished someone else was in this position besides him, maybe they could have figured out a way out of this mess. As it was it was just Remus alone up here, everyone else gone on lunch break and if they noticed he was missing they probably assumed he was either in the bathroom or fucking around somewhere he probably shouldn’t be...such as on the second story unsecured catwalk watching the floor settle and resettle under his weight with sweat dripping down his face. This was supposed to have been a quick job- ten minutes at most of him poking around to find something and now that he had he was risking practically the entire floor collapsing underneath him. He didn’t want to call out for help in case it actually did fall through and trap someone beneath it so it seemed as if it was simply going to be a waiting game in which either he or the floor would come out on top.

And with another shift underneath him it didn’t seem like it was his lucky day.

-----

Patton sang softly along to the song playing through the radio, tapping his fingers along with the beat on the wheel. He didn’t do this often but he really wanted to surprise Remus at work with a lunch. He had packed a little extra for dinner as well hoping he wasn’t too late to give it to him. Remus had said yesterday he’d have to stay a little later than usual to look over some things and do...whatever it was he had said he had to do to play catch up in the huge project the company had undertaken, an apology heavy on his tongue that Patton had preemptively forgiven him for with a peck on the lips and a smile. Though he wasn’t happy how over worked his husband often was, he more blamed the company and commissioners than Remus himself. He worked hard and it showed, and Patton was always proud of him. So, packed lunch and dinner it was with hopefully a quick visit before he had to leave since he was in no way authorized personnel but the people in charge often simply rolled their eyes and waved him through, vaguely threatening him with promised of forced exit if he stayed too long, which Remus never let him do anyway since an active construction zone wasn’t exactly safe.

The sound of sirens in the distance cut off his thoughts as his blood ran cold. Sirens didn’t have to mean anything of course, there were many reasons you’d hear them- but this was practically out in the middle of nowhere, near a construction zone which was again out in the middle of nowhere. Cursing he sped up just a little bit, desperate to get to the site and hopefully disprove what he already knew he’d see. He nearly started crying right then when he turned into the long drive only to see the house surrounded by emergency vehicles and people in uniform bustling from point to point to do whatever it was they had to do. He could see the part of the collapsed house beyond that, what looked like a cave in from the second story that had taken the supporting wall with it, though how something like that had happened Patton couldn’t fathom.

He hadn’t even clicked the engine all the way off when he was out of the car and running to who he knew was in charge, dodging out of the way and trying not to make a nuisance of himself so they didn’t have a reason to kick him off the property. There was no sign of Remus as far as he was looking, not even the sound of his rather loud voice cutting through the worried din of everyone else’s voices which only served to drop his stomach further as he swallowed hard around the nausea. Please God no, he thought. Please please please-

“Where’s Remus?” Patton didn’t think there was a need to bother with formalities in this kind of situation. He just needed to figure out where his husband was, go to him and make sure he was safe. It was a simple plan, the simplest set of goals he’d ever set in his life, but his heart sank as the supervisor turned to him with a grave look on his face that told Patton everything he needed to know before the other even began shaking his head.

“There was an accident. The floor- the floor must have been loose and nobody thought- I didn’t think to check on him after he went up there. We all know how he is.” He gestured helplessly to where several people were gathered around a section of rubble, the weight of a whole building bearing down on whatever they were puttering around. “We know where he is; it’s just getting him out.”

Patton didn’t need to hear anymore, noticing some of the people leaving the group and leaving a bit of space he could see the mess through. Most of it was just wood beams sticking out in every direction like a crudely placed beaver damn, some insulation from the ground floor poking up at the bottom. If he squinted though he could just barely make out a small space that had been cleared, a small hole that he could only assume was what they could safely clear away to see if Remus was still-

Pushing forward before he could finish the thought he hurried over to where the space had been made and knelt down next to it, laying a shaking hand next t o the rubble and iting his lip tp keep from crying.

“Sir you can’t be here-”

“That’s my husband in there.” Patton cut the woman off sharply, only feeling slightly guilty for his tone.

The woman softened. “I understand but-”

“I’ll leave when I’m in the way but right now no one’s doing anything so I’m staying right here so I can be with him. I’m not going to touch or disrupt anything but I’m not moving.” Patton looked up, defiantly daring her to continue, but after a moment she just nodded and backed away. He turned back to the space as a slight moan alerted him, gasping as long fingers emerged from the cramped darkness and reached out. A high pitched whine left Patton’s mouth at the sight of how bloody it was but he nevertheless reached forward desperately and grasped the fingers in a gentle hold. Faintly he heard a warning not to pull him as assistance was yelled for but he only shook his head as tears streamed down his face. Everything in him was screaming to lift the beams himself and drag Remus to safety but he knew it couldn’t work like that. This was a delicate situation that needed to be handled with care but the frustration only built as the seconds ticked by and nothing seemed to be getting done.

“Remus honey, I’m here okay? I’m right here and so are people that are going to get you out of there. You just hold onto me baby everything  will be okay.” He nearly choked on his own uncertainty but he couldn’t afford to let emus think he was anything other than certain he’d make it out of this. His fingers squeezed weakly and Patton’s breath hitched in relief, continuing to rattle out reassurances that he’d be out soon and they were doing what they could he just had to hold on a little bit longer. His head snapped up as a hand landed on his shoulder, one of the paramedics motioning people forward with equipment.

“Keep holding his hand and talking to him, you’re probably helping keep him awake.” Patton decided he didn’t want to think too hard on what  that might mean, instead simply scooching over slightly to make room for whatever it was they were doing and running his thumb gently over Remus’ knuckles as he took a steadying breath.

“They’re going to get you out Remus. They have equipment they’re setting up to get you out and then everything will be fine.” His fingers were squeezed again gently and the medic must have noticed since they paused and leaned down.

“We’re going to put two sturdy boards on either side of you to help stabilize what’s laying on top of you and then put airbags on the other side of them to lift everything up. That should give us enough room to remove you safely. If at any point your space gets too cramped or you feel things settle down on you more, squeeze your husband’s hand and he’ll let us know okay? We’re working as quickly as we can to get you out.” Remus squeezed his hand again and the medic nodded, signaling for things to begin. “This is called cribbing. It’s just putting a basic framework underneath everything to hopefully stop it from settling down more. And then those long tubes will be put in and inflated to lift it up, at which point you'll have to move out of the way so we can get him out.”

Remus squeezed his hand again and both the action and explanation Patton felt his anxiety ebb the tiniest amount. He nodded to the kind woman and moved to hold Remus with both hands as if doing so would make the process go any faster. As the emergency crew bustled around him and got everything into place he simply sat with cramping legs and blurring vision, reassuring the trapped man through soft touches and softer words as they moved thick, wedged shaped beams in front of the pile of debris. Holding his breath Patton tightened his grip slightly as they began inching the beams underneath, focusing his attention solely on the bloodied hand in his grip, poised to react at even the slightest twitch of discomfort. The boards were halfway in when his hand was squeezed weakly, jolting him out of his tense state to yell out a loud “Stop” to the team. They froze and looked to the woman still holding Patton’s shoulder, who leaned forward to be heard.

“Squeeze once if the pile is shifting, twice if we’re hitting you with the boards.” Two quick squeezes were felt and she nodded slightly. “Is there any way you can move without endangering yourself so we can get them in a bit more?” 

He felt a slight squeeze on his hand before shuffling was heard accompanied by a quiet  whimper that tore straight through Patton’s heart as he fought to simply hold the hand in support and not yank him out himself. He nodded as his hand was squeezed again and kept up his quiet reassurances, speaking just loud enough for Remus to hear him over the directions the medics were constantly throwing back and forth. After what seemed like an eternity the wedges were in place and Remus gave the go ahead to squeeze in the air bags. No one dared breathe as they were squeezed into place, no response from Remus unless they asked for confirmation that everything was still okay. 

Everything was going fine- the bags were filling up and Patton could see the rubble being lifted slowly but surely up and off his husband. They were so close to having him out and okay that it almost didn’t register when Remus’ hand went limp in his own. Patton felt the muscles slacken and the hand become sudden deadweight in between his own. Eyes widening he squeezed his hand gently, then perhaps a bit too hard as panic gripped him.

“Remus honey? Are you okay?” The slick hand remained still, fingers not even twitching to indicate he had been heard. “Remus? Remus!”

He thrashed as he was pulled away, screaming louder than he ever had in his life as Remus’ hand slipped away from him and he was hauled to his feet and backward. The medics crowded to fill the space and he lost sight of his hand completely, screaming louder and scratching madly at the arms around his middle.

“Let me go! Let me go, he needs me!” The logic that Patton more needed him than Remus needed Patton over the medics at the moment was flung out of the window as he bucked backwards attempting to throw off whoever it was but the person just held him tighter as they walked him away, heedless of his ear splitting screams. Vaguely he was aware they were talking to him but Patton couldn’t care less as the phantom sensation of Remus’ hand going slack in his own tore his mind apart.

“P…….Pat…...Patton please!” Virgil’s yell finally cut through the panicked fog and provided the window he needed to haul Patton the rest of the way over bside the parked ambulance and sit him down on the ground. “They’re going to get him, Patton, it's okay. I promise you He’ll be okay. And we’ll ride in the ambulance and go into the hospital with him and they’ll make sure he’ll be back to making idiotic decisions in no time.” 

The words meant to reassure him didn’t make Patton feel any better but all the fight left him, adrenaline running its course as he buried his face in his friend’s chest and wept. 

-----

Remus had Patton and Virgil as his first two people to call in an emergency and since Patton had already gotten there and hadn’t checked his phone someone must have then called Virgil when he hadn’t picked up. As bad as he felt he was grateful the other was there as he all but collapsed while they finally got Remus’ still, limp body out from under the wreckage and onto a stretcher, stabilizing him as much as they could before ushering him into the ambulance and driving away after denying them riding along since they needed the extra room. Patton all but dragged Virgil to his car, the other swiping away his keys and insisting he drive as Patton was in no state to and Patton really just agreed if only to get them going faster.

They didn’t get to go in Remus’ room for hours after that, apparently suffering a broken legs and ribs, a sprained risk and a minor concussion that had taken the rest of the day to fix, nearly sending Patton into hysterics when they were informed with the final comment being that he had gotten off lucky. Thankfully Roman and Logan had arrived at that point and they were able to sit with Patton through the night and morning before Logan suggested he take Virgil to get a change of clothes and other necessities so they’d be able to stay longer, Roman volunteering to come along to get Patton and Remus’ things as well.

The hospital room was quiet save for the soft beeping of the machines lining the bed and the gentle huffing breaths of Remus as he slept, thankfully peacefully, in the hospital bed that Patton had his chair pulled all the way up to to hold his now bandaged hand between his. He yawned loudly  and laid his head on his arm, eyes fighting to stay open as he promised himself he was merely resting his eyes but drifting off rather quickly considering the stress of the past couple of days. Confident he would wake if anything happened and trusting the others to come back soon he allowed himself to drift off.

-----

Patton awoke slowly to the feeling up fingers running through his messy hair, taking the time to gently brush out all the tangles of the previous day. He hummed happily and snuggled further into the tough, only to grunt in pain as his neck protested the action with a rather loud crack. Reality hit him all at once and he picked his head up to see Remus smiling tiredly down at him, Head wrapped neatly and already crooked nose set after what must have been the third or  fourth break he had already suffered. Patton’s eyes filled with tears as he  sat up and slowly reached for his husband, hands coming to rest on each cheek to make sure he was really there and alright. Smile tugging wider Remus brought his own hands up to rest on Patton’s, thumbs slowly running over the knuckles like he had done when Remus had been trapped.

“If I wouldn’t hurt you more and get hauled out by security I would slap you so hard for what you did.” In his tired state Patton honestly couldn’t think of anything better to say, but Remus only chuckled weakly and nodded.

“I love you too.”

Laughing softly with him Patton leaned forward to rest his forehead against Remus’ before pressing a featherlight kiss to the tip of his nose and softly whispered “I’m so glad you’re safe.” 

“I always am with you.”

Later a nurse would come in and smile at the two: Patton tucked under Remus’ chin and clutching onto his hands like a lifeline as they both slept. Quietly, he would turn out the light and shut the door, reassuring the people camping on the chairs outside that they were alright and they would sigh and shake their heads with amusement. The scolding could wait, they decided. For they would leave them to hold onto each other for as long as they needed.

This work is also available on AO3!

If you like this, please consider reblogging, as sharing a creator’s work is very encouraging to us and helps our creations reach more people!

[lycorogue]

Some Passing Thoughts on the New Miraculous Episodes

Finally got around to watching the fansubs of the Shanghai special and “Truth” (I’m still waiting for the other episodes to come out before watching Furious Fu).

Miraculous World: Shanghai – The Legend of Ladydragon

I have to say, I might change my mind later if the Prodigious proves to be more crucial to the overall lore of the series, but right now? Yeah. This special is a major skip for me. 

I did not connect with Fei the way I fell in love with Jess and Aeon. I am so pissed at the set-up the writers came up with to GET Marinette to Shanghai; her reasoning is the most selfish thing we have ever seen her do and it is such an injustice to her character. Plus, it is like neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir learned anything from the New York trip as they both show up in Shanghai kind of spur of the moment (i.e. didn’t tell the other they were leaving Paris). In fact, Marinette - again, going back to my hatred for the setup to get her to China - didn’t even CONSIDER the fact that Paris would be left unprotected; that Ladybug would be MIA. Granted, it was stated that Hawk Moth was surprisingly inactive, but shouldn’t that put her on hyper-alert; waiting for the other shoe to drop and Hawky to release something big that he was building up to? Instead she just lowers her guard and doesn’t even consider her superhero duties when planning on following Adrien. 

Another annoying thing is that the writers didn’t seem to learn anything from backlash against the episode “Kung Fu.” They just once again have Adrien be the one offering to teach Marinette Mandarin; not her mother (whose Chinese name Marinette never even knew), nor her great-uncle. Another writers flub was in the battle against Roi Argent. Ladybug questions Mei Shi’s suggestion that revenge does not equal justice (if that was translated properly), and... I’m pretty sure Marinette already showcased in previous episodes such as “Silencer” that she very much knows that revenge doesn’t equal justice??? She’s the one who corrected Chat Noir that Silencer coercing Bob Roth to admit he stole from Kitty Section and Marinette isn’t justice; it’s revenge. So???? HUH? NOW she magically feels like Fei’s revenge on Cash is justice for what he did to her? 

If all of that wasn’t bad enough, the pacing of this special was in complete overdrive as well. You didn’t have any of those emotional moments - both heart breaking and fluff-bombs - that you had in the NY special. The focus was largely on Fei, and I didn’t even really like her. She didn’t have the heart and the fully-fleshed characterization that Jess or Aeon had.

I’m also confused about Gabriel spending the past 15 years planning this whole thing. HOW!? WHY!? This is before Adrien was even born, or VEEERY shortly after if we skipped over his 15th birthday in the series. This was LOOOOOOONG before Emilie’s illness, which is presumably why Gabriel started using the butterfly miraculous in the first place (as showcased by Gabe in Origins asking Nooroo to remind him how the powers even work before using them for the first time in a corrupted state on Adrien’s first day of public school). So, if getting the Great Power of the Prodigious was something he was planning on doing literally all of Adrien’s life, why present it as “I found something that can finally give me an edge against Ladybug and Chat Noir”? I mean, what was his original endgame going to be? He couldn’t have possibly known that he’d be in dire need for the cat and ladybug jewels but struggled to take them from two teenage superheroes. It’s like the writers are trying to set him up as some mastermind akin to David Xanatos from Disney’s Gargoyles, but they are failing miserably. The whole Hawk Moth plot just doesn’t make sense to me.

Honestly? The only things that made this special worth it for me were: 1) Finding out a bit more about Sabine and her family (I love that she probably picked the name Sabine because it sounded like the pronunciation of her Chinese name) 2) Seeing Gorilla be his action figure nerd self a bit more (and the action figures of Uncanny Valley and Eagle) 3) Mei Shi in Renling (?) form, who was hella adorable! I need him as a plushie STAT 4) Adrien being the precious bean that he is. Just every moment he’s on screen was adorable (complete with him STILL having the picture of Marinette that was sent to him in “Evillustrator” saved to his baton and using that to try to find her) 5) Seeing the world through the eyes of a kwami for the first time and learning a touch more non-crucial lore 6) Mei Shi in statue form reminding me of the Dragon costume on The Masked Singer.

(I know, seeing them side-by-side now, they really aren’t that similar after all, but it’s been about a year since Dragon was on The Masked Singer, and he’s still what I kept thinking of as I watched Mei Shi on screen)

While I obsessively watched the New York special at least a dozen times, I’m really only seeing myself re-watch this special once more when it’s in English, and maybe whenever I do a full-series binge (which is super rare that I take the time for that).

Not impressed. Sorry.

Truth

“Truth”, on the other hand? Hhhhhnnnnnngggg. My heart! It breaks! Poor Marinette. Poor poor Luka. I mean, silver linings at the end there, but also BIG OOF. (Also, why wasn’t Adrien around at all whenever Truth made people confess that Marinette’s secret was her love for Adrien? xDDD)

I’m also a bit confused about the Adrien pictures. She had them taken down pretty much since “Troublemaker”, and yet her walls are once more papered with Adrien’s likeness now that Marinette is trying to get over him and date Luka? How does THAT make any sense outside of the writers going “we need an awkward phone call between Marinette and Luka. Oh! I know! A picture of her Adrien-covered bedroom walls is accidentally sent to Luka!” >3> Also.... what is UP with Luka’s animation again!? The kid was so pale it’s like they forgot to add any color to his model in this episode. WHY CAN’T THEY JUST ANIMATE MY PRECIOUS SON LOOKING HANDSOME EVER!? FIRST NO EYELASHES, AND NOW NO SKIN TONE!? WHYYYYYYYYY!? Personally, I prefer “Silencer” to “Truth” both in overall story and in Luka’s akumatized form design. Also, side note, did anyone else notice that Ladybug was hit by Luka’s attack and couldn’t speak for most of the battle both times? And that she needed Chat Noir to help her set up her Lucky Charm both times? And that Luka’s drive both times was to get to the truth?

I did still enjoy this episode very much. It showcases the new stresses Marinette has to face (totally unfair; I agree. However, it’s a standard trope in most teenage superhero stories such as Teen Titans and Spider-Man, so I was expecting it). It showcases how hard it is for her to figure out a balance between life and superheroing (again, re: standard teen-superhero trope). The fans get confirmation on a fantheory that’s been circling pretty much since Luka was introduced (ESPECIALLY after the episode “Desperada”). The Ladynoir shippers are well fed, and it’s great to see LB and CN praise each other - including Ladybug’s love of Chat Noir’s humor. 

I hope this isn’t the end of us seeing Luka in the show (that would break my heart even more) and it feels lame to build up the Lukanette “love rival” arc only for it to die off before it really goes anywhere. There was so much story potential there where Marinette could grow to learn what it truly means to be in love, and not just idolize and romanticize someone you’re infatuated with. Instead, all she learned is that she is alone aside from Chat Noir, and I feel like that’s SUUUUPER railroading the Ladynoir ship. And, frankly, I’d much prefer to see the Ladynoir side grow naturally, as it has been, instead of forcing Marinette’s hand because Chat Noir is the only one she can be MOSTLY honest with (secret identities notwithstanding).

It’s been a long hiatus. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to dodge fandom salt, but still get a larger dose than I intended to have in my fandom diet, so maybe my views are a bit tainted from that. However, this special and season premiere feel a bit like the writers are stumbling. I don’t know if the pandemic somehow affected their writing flow, or if they feel pressured by the fans to tell the series’ story a certain way and are scrambling to do so, or if they are rushing to an ending instead of taking their time and letting it naturally unfold as they had with the first few seasons. But, regardless of their reason, I hope they re-find themselves; the ones who told great stories in seasons 1 and 2 and (poor writing for Marinette notwithstanding) really good stories in season 3. I hope they can step up their game for the remainder of season 4. 

It’s been a long break, and we all deserve something good to feed us. We don’t need another GoT or HIMYM final season. Especially when this isn’t even supposed to BE the final season of the series.

Guess it’s time to wait for “Lies” to come out, and hope for the best.

[peacedolantwins]

Resentment (G.D)

When you and Grayson first got together, it was like a dream come true. He was your prince charming ready to be everything you ever wanted, but instead of a horse and carriage, it was with a baby blue porshe.

He would pick you up and take you out just about anywhere. Theater, movies, fancy restaurants, anything. You weren’t in the relationship for the money and fancy things, you would have been just as happy watching netflix back at the house or just sitting in a park talking, but he always insisted on going out.

“A beautiful girl deserves beautiful things,” he would always say.

And while you knew the truth, any time the fans saw you two out somewhere expensive or going shopping, they were quick to call you a gold digger.

Grayson would see the comments and tweets and at first he just ignored them. But after a while, he started thinking.

Were you just with him for the money?

So he stopped.

He stopped buying you gifts, he stopped with fancy dinners, he stopped just about everything,

And you didnt mind. You didnt need fancy jewelry or clothes he would get you. As long as you got to spend time with him, the man who you loved, you didnt care.

But then things started to change.

When you two would hang out and you offered to go to the mall and walk around and maybe do some shopping he looked at you like you just offended him.

“Not Rodeo?” he raised a brow.

“I mean, if there was something you wanted to buy there, we can go.” You really werent a fan of going there since everything was way more than you could afford on your own. But if he had planned on buying something, you were okay with going with. You could go to the mall later.

So you two went and he was quick to head straight to the designer stores. You two separated while in the store. While he was picking out things he could actually afford to buy, you were simply window shopping.

You lost track of time when you felt Grayson reach out and touch your arm. Thats when you noticed he already paid.

“You already paid?” you glanced at the bag.

“Yeah, you didnt buy anything?”

“No?” you were confused about why he was asking. You never bought anything when you came to stores like this. You werent about to drop your rent check on something that honestly looked kind of ugly in your opinion.

“Hm figures,” he rolled his eyes at you.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, lets go,” he walked ahead of you, leaving you to follow after him.

It went on like this for over a month, him making small remarks when you wouldnt drop an insane amount of money for something. But you got used to it. You didnt let it get to you. Until he did something you thought he would never do.

You woke up late after having spent the night with Grayson in your apartment to find your jewelry box open. You figured you must have forgotten to close it the last time you put something in and you shrugged it off and got ready for the day.

But as you did your makeup you couldnt help but feel something was wrong. You walked over to the box and thats when you noticed it.

The box was nearly empty.

A few of your earings and a few bracelets were there but all of the jewelry Grayson had gotten over the course of your relationship was gone.

And so was your grandmothers ring she left to you.

You started looking around, thinking maybe Grayson might have knocked the box over this morning and everything just fell out, but there was nothing on the floor anywhere. You were starting to panic when you heard your front door open and saw Grayson come in.

“Grayson did you knock over my jewelry this morning?”

“You mean the jewelry I paid for?”

“Sure, whatever, yeah, but did you knock it over?” You didn’t even care about the remark about him paying for it all, you just needed to know what happened.

“I pawned it,” he said casually.

“You what?” you felt your heart drop.

“Its not like you wore it anyway.” While that was true, its not like you didnt wear it because you didnt like it. You had a tendency to lose everything and you werent about to risk losing a bracelet over a thousand dollars while going to the grocery store.

“Did you take my ring?”

“Which one?”

“Grayson this isnt funny! Did you take my ring? The one with the diamond?” you were scared to hear his answer.

“The one I got you? Yeah.”

“You didnt get me that one, Grayson! That was my grandmothers ring! You have to get it back!” you were beyond upset right now.

“So you seriously want me to go buy you the ring now?” he asked annoyed.

“It wasn’t yours to sell! Why would you even take it!”

“Well you better get to it before someone buys it,” he shrugged.

You looked at him in complete shock. You couldnt care less about the other jewelry, but that ring was important to you. It was the one thing you had left from the woman you spent the majority of your childhood with since your parents were always working.

“Grayson, I cant afford to buy it back!” you had gotten it appraised when you first got it and when you found out how much it was worth, you never wore it.

“Then figure it out!” He couldn’t believe how you were acting about it. Hes worn a full outfit that costs more than that ring so he didnt understand why it was such an issue.

You looked at him in complete shock.

“Unbelievable.” you muttered as you slipped on your shoes and you were out the door as soon as you had the address to the store he took it to.

You quickly found it, driving probably more than the speed limit and parked. You walked in and the man behind the counter asked if he could help you find something. After describing the ring to him he motioned you over to one of the cases.

“Yes! That one, how much is it?” you tried to mentally prepare yourself for the price he was about to say.

“That one is going to be $7,899.”

You closed your eyes and did your best to stop the tears from forming. You knew you couldnt even put it on your credit card because you had a $2,500 limit set.

“Would you be able to hold it for me? Just for today while I go to the bank,” you pleaded with him.

“The most I can give you is until four today,” he explained.

You quickly glanced at the clock behind him and started to panic. It was already twelve, and you knew the bank was closed until one, which meant you had two and a half hours at the most to go and get the loan you needed to buy it back.

“Ill be back in by then,” you gave him your information and you started your drive to the bank.

Once you arrived you sat in your car and did your best to keep your composure as you waited for it to open back up. As soon as the clock hit one you practically ran in and waited for one of the employees to tend to you.

A kind looking woman came from the back rooms and called your name and introduced herself as the person who would be helping you.

She had you fill out paperwork and once you were done she put all the information into the computer. She said it would take a little while for the credit report to come in and she left you sitting there in her office while she went elsewhere.

It was already 2:15.

It was three o’clock when she came back in and told you it all went through and you were approved. You rushed through the final paperwork with a few signatures where needed and you were out the door and driving back to the pawn shop.

You quickly found the same man who helped you from earlier and you bought back the ring.

When you got to your apartment building you sat in your car with your head resting on the steering wheel.

Looks like you were back to living the same way you did through college. Ramen noodles and cereal for every meal from now on.

You glanced around the parking lot and noticed the stupid baby blue car was no where around. Good, because you didn’t want to deal with him right now.

The next few days you found yourself at the restaurant you worked at picking up every shift you could. You had been ignoring calls from Grayson and Ethan too once he started calling you.

You didn’t have time to deal with any of them. You had an eight thousand dollar loan to pay back.

It wasn’t until the two of them walked into the restaurant and got seated in your section when you had to finally deal with them.

“Hi my name is Y/n, I’m gonna be your server today, can I get you something to drink?”

“Y/n? It’s us you don’t have to be all hospitality with us,” Ethan was confused as to why you were being so formal with them.

“We have water, tea, and pepsi products,” you placed the menus in front of them.

“Um, just water, babe-“ Grayson looked up at you and for the first time in days he noticed how exhausted you looked. You were running on fumes and he could see it.

“Great, I’ll be right back with your drinks,” you quickly walked off to get the drinks.

“Dude what’s up with her?” Ethan asked his brother.

“I don’t know, I know we had a fight a few days ago but I thought she’d be over it by now,” he explained.

“Here you go,” you placed their water down in front of them, “and did we need more time to look at the menu or are you ready to order?”

“Y/n, stop it-“ Neither of the boys liked how you were acting towards them.

“Don’t worry, take your time, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you walked away again.

“Gray, what did you do?” Ethan had never seen you this way. You were being so cold and lifeless despite the fake smile and cheery voice you had slapped on.

“I accidentally pawned one of her rings,” Grayson explained.

“Why did you… what ring? Doesn’t she only have the one her grandma left her?”

“I didn’t know,” Graymuttered more to himself.

“You didn’t…” Ethan stared at him in shock. “Are you serious! That would be like her pawning the ring dad left us! Did you get it back for her?” Ethan knew how much that ring meant to you. And from the few times he saw it, he had a general idea of how much it cost.

His brothers silence was all he got but it was enough to let him know the answer.

“Where did you sell it? Fucking hell Grayson! Why wouldn’t you get it back!” Ethan was ready to walk out of the restaurant right now and go buy it back for you since his idiot of a brother didn’t do it himself.

“I went back later and it was already gone okay! I tried!”

“How much did you get for it?” He questioned.

“About six and a half thousand.”

“Well you gave her the money right? Maybe she went and bought it back,” Ethan was trying to be hopeful of the situation.

Silence again.

“Grayson you didn’t even give her the money?” Ethan knew you weren’t made of money and knew how much you made. Which meant he knew there was no way you could have afforded to buy it back yourself.

“Have we made a decision yet?” You appeared out of what seemed like nowhere.

“Just a salad for both of us, babe talk to me please,” Grayson knew he fucked up and he didn’t know how to make it better.

“I’ll go ahead and send that in, any appetizers while you wait?”

“No, Y/n please,” Grayson covered your hand with his.

“I’ll be back with your order,” you pried your hand away gently, not wanting to cause a scene.

What you didn’t know was that your manager was standing close by and saw someone touch one of his employees. And most restaurants didn’t care much about the workers being hit on or made uncomfortable, but he cared about his employees.

Once he saw you leave to take the order to the kitchen, he went up to the table.

“Excuse me,” he crouched down next to the table, “I’m the manager here and I’m not going to have you harassing my employees. If I see anything like that again, you’re out of here. Enjoy your meal.” He patted the table and went off to find you.

“Y/n, I’m giving your table to Erin, take one of hers,” he gestured to the two boys in your section.

“No it’s okay, I can handle it,” you would much rather deal with the twins than the group of kids who looked like they were coming in for homecoming.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve had worse than someone trying to hold my hand, I’ve got it,” you assured him.

“Okay, you let me know if he tries something again,” he looked at you.

“Yes sir,” you mock saluted him at which he rolled his eyes.

You went and checked on the other tables in your section and felt Graysons eyes on you the whole time. You eventually went and took them their salads and asked if they needed anything, but you left before they could answer.

Eventually they asked for the bill and you brought it out, more than happy to have them gone. You returned their card and waited for them to leave before going to clean up the table.

It was then that you saw the giant tip they left.

$500 in cash.

They carried more on them then you made in a week.

You grabbed it and passed by your manager and quickly explained they left something behind that you were going to return to them before following them out the front door.

“Grayson!” You called after him.

“Y/n, look I’m so sorry about-“ he started.

“Can I see your keys really quick?” You cut him off

He handed them over, confused as to why you were asking for his keys. But then he saw you sliding your key off the key ring.

“Y/n no, please don’t,” he knew what this meant.

You tossed him back his keys before you took the money out of your apron and slamming it to his chest.

“That should be enough for the price of my key back.”

With that you walked back into the restaurant and slapped the fake smile back on your face. While you really could have used the five hundred dollars, you were not going to let him try to feel better about what he did.

No amount of money he tried to spend on you now could fix the damage already done.

Pls like/comment/reblog I need validation

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[disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope]

Over the moon very messy review (spoilers)

I wasn’t really planning on watching it today but it was so praised on my pot early on that i just had too

And..... I’m confused...

It has some VERY good scenes, plot points, characters, songs, sceneries and some VERY bad scenes, plot points, characters, songs, lyrics and sceneries

I wanted to start by being positive but this whole thing got mixed up

So here’s my thoughts:

- loved chang’e (i gotta google this cause i thought it was chungha like.... chungha the idol). Love her design, love her voice, love her attitude. Best character, never boring. Tall as fuck goddess. She’s right there with eris from sinbad. Muah kisses the chef. Her hair, makeup, outfits, facial expressions. Idk if the voice actress is the same for speaking and singing but the singer from Hamilton is so so good, she made me not mind the godawful lyrics. I wanted more screen time for her cause she honestly saved the movie

- the protagonist girl fei fei is a bit of a positive and negative of the movie. She’s cute but very cliche. There’s 273648 characters like her. Her problems are very real and relatable but u cant just help sigh and think of her as a dramatic teenager u know? I do feel bad and see my teenage self in her cause i do understand but.... shes super dramatic still. I mean.... she went to the fucking moon to avoid her father getting married shes crazy. She went to all that trouble to learn how to make a rocket just to avoid him remarrying... i understand the frustration one might feel, it never happened to me but if it did id probably have very mixed and selfish feelings about it too, but her and the father really should have just talked. A simple conversation would have let her know that he’s lonely but never ever would forget the mother. And the father had time, he just didnt do it so the fault is not all on her. But i guess there would be no movie if they talked, would there?

- the motivations in this movie dont make sense or are just weak.... fei fei wants to build a rocket to the moon to avoid her father from remarrying? Dumb. She wants a pic as proof? Dumb. The brother wants the pic to help the sister? Ok... but he’s literally an 8 year old, they dont give a shit about none of that specially one that just met u. Chang’e wants the gift which is understandable but... why the potion?? Literally just to give the bunnies a love plot thats dumb af. Also, did she really took both immortal pills or whatever it was? It was implied multiple times that she was selfish but idk if she cleared that out

-i loved the Chinese town. Super cozy and friendly. Love how the river is so integral to it like in real life i assume. It’s just so different from the ocident i love it. Please more movies featured in Asia cause they have many gorgeous cultures. I love the sense of community and family, the little details and the food aspect of it. I love how Asian countries combine modern with old so much so that atsome point i didnt really know what year the movie was supposed to be set in.

- the “pre meeting step mother” part of the movie was the best along with chang’e’s scenes. I almost cried even tho the moment the mother fell i knew she was gonna die. I’m getting very emotional with these scenes as i get older even tho both my parents are still alive but i guess those scenes just make me think about when the worse will happen and i dont wanna think of it of course. But the mother was so great and kind. I really felt their bond and love between mother and daughter. And father but u know.

- the bunny was so fucking cute!!!! Until...... it gained super powers and decided to stay with the ugly green love interest?? Wtf... like wtf that was so unnecessary??? A love plot for the bunnies?? Why??? Whyyyyyyyyyyy

- the moon city wasn’t anything special... apart from shiny it was very bland. I wish they had kept more of Chinese culture in it but i did see something on chang’e’s room i think

- every single comic refiro in this movie was BEYOND THE MOON ANNOYING!!!!!!! I understand, even tho i dont aprove it, the existence of the annoying ass 8 year old brother.... BUT THE GREEN DOG TOO???? WHYWHYWHYWHY AND HE SINGS??? NO SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!! He had a cute design but everytime he was there and opened his mouth i just wanted to shoot him I’m not kidding i hate him! NOT TO MENTION that he basically did the relationship development between the siblings in the brothers place!!!! Why does the dog exist????? Fei fei should have bounded in the adventure with the brother!!!! Oh i hated that so much..... I’m so mad.... without the green dog the movie wouldn’t have these weak as hell points

- the ending where the lover fades was ok but just ok. I feel like it was either too rushed and he was disappearing before i even noticed and before he even said anything meaningful or it should have been like the one in onward. It just had little impact imo

- the songs have GREAT VOCALS, the singers are definitely the best part, catchy instrumentals, even tho I’m starting to agree that these movies rely too much on pop songs and not actually musical worthy songs, and the lyrics are bad, really bad.... corny too. So basically about the songs: great vocals, ok instrumentals, bad lyrics. But I’m sure ill rewatch chang’e’s songs cause i love her. Maybe the songs will grow on me with time who knows

- the humor is very modern and i just dont think it fits these kind of movies... the same happened with Moana. It just doesn’t fit the epic adventure with gods vibe i think? It’s also just bad. The comic reliefs were annoying, there’s really no other word, but even the humor from other characters or scenes didnt work

- there’s some very inventive animation here, i loved how they used 2d art even tho i wanted more of it. I love glen keane and how his art style translated. I feel like we can see a bit of him on his disney work but here it just really looked like his art u know? Really good

- i dont like the “the movie had a good message so its good” kind of thought cause many terrible movies have great messages and many great movies have repetitive messages. I thought the message in this movie was a bit repetitive but what made it different for me was that both characters were grieving the loss of different loves, motherly and romantic, and yet they were feeling the same and had to help each other and move on. I dread the day that comes for me. It was nice for fei fei to feel she wasn’t the only one with that pain even tho she just had to move on if she was.

Ok so i think thats it

I think this review i came out too negative but I’m just really torn. There’s some parts of this movie that I couldn’t get enough of and, unfortunately, other parts that were making me wanna turn it off.... i could have ignored the cliches but the 2 very annoying comic characters were too damn much

But i think the positives outweigh the negatives even so

I think I’ll give it a 6/10 or 6.5

Klaus is still my fave animated Netflix movie

[duhragonball]

‘21

Amidst all the popular hype for seeing the end of 2020, it didn’t hit me until about lunchtime what the real highlight is that I’ve been waiting for: For the first time since 1999, the year finally ends in “numberty-number” again.    It low-key irritated me that we had to call it “two thousand three” and I was relieved when “twenty-thirteen” caught on, but it still wasn’t right because it was too short, and now we’re back in the sweet spot, and I should be safely dead by 2100, so that’s one less thing I gotta deal with.

Really, even “numberty hundred” rings true to me.    “Nineteen hundred” sounds like a year.    “Twenty-one-oh-six” sounds like a futur-y year, which is even cooler.   So did “Two thousand five”, until I was actually living in it, and it sounds even worse now that it was a long time ago and adults will talk about their childhood happening in that year.    Daniel Witwicky would be old enough to get married and grow a fancier beard than me.    That’s nuts.    My point is that, honestly, it’s the year 3000-3019 that I have to worry about, so if I ever decide to go vampire, those will be the years I hide in the ocean or force society to reset the calendar, whichever’s easier.  

I spent New Year’s Eve finishing Superliminal, which I bought on Steam after I watched Vegeta play it on YouTube.  It has a similar look and feel to the Stanley Parable, so if you liked one you’d probably enjoy the other, although Superliminal has a different theme.  I kept hoping I’d find some secret passage that I wasn’t supposed to take, and a narrator would scold me for finding the “Chickenbutt Ending”, but it doesn’t work that way.    Superliminal’s all about puzzles and awesome visuals, but it does have the same soothing design aesthetics as TSP.   Honestly, I enjoyed just wandering around in Stanley’s office, and Superliminal does the same thing with a hotel and several other settings.   It’s nice.

This got me thinking about how I kind of did everything there was to do in The Stanley Parable, and I sort of wished they would add new stuff to the game, but I’m not sure there would be much point to that.    I could play the older version, but it presents the same message, just with different assets.   The Boss’s Office would look different, but it’d be the same game.   And this got me thinking about various “secret chapters” in pop culture.  Secrets behind the cut.

I first heard about this idea in the 2000′s, when fans invented this notion that there was a secret chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.    I read a website that tried to explain the concept, and of course it lauded J.K. Rowling with all this gushing praise for working an Easter egg into the book, a literary work of “well, magic.”  

That pretty well sums up my distaste for Harry Potter, by the way.    These days, JKR has thoroughly crapped all over her reputation and legacy, but in the 2000′s it felt like half the planet was in a mad rush to canonize her as a writing goddess, to the point where fans were congratulating her for writing secret chapters that didn’t actually exist.   The idea was based on lore from the books about Neville Longbottom’s parents.    They were patients in a mental hospital, and he’d go to visit them, and they would give him bubble gum wrappers, intended to demonstrate how far remove they’ve become from reality.   The secret chapter lies in those wrappers, which all read “Droobles Best Blowing Gum” or some such.    What if Neville’s parents were only pretending to be mentally ill, so as to throw off their enemies?   Naturally, they would want to stay in contact with their son, so the bubble gum wrappers would have to contain coded messages.    Said code involves unscrambling the letters on the wrappers to make new words, like “goblin” or “sword” or “Muggle” or “Dumbledore”.    The problem is that you can also use it to make other words like “booger” or “drool” or “booobbiess.”   Play with it enough, and you can make the code say anything you want it to say, which means it’s no code at all.   

But the idea was that the not-yet-published sixth HP book would reveal all of this gum wrapper nonsense, and Neville would decode the messages and discover all of his parents’ super-cool adventures.   I’m not sure why we needed a secret chapter if Book 6 was going to explain all of this anyway in several not-secret chapters, but that was the whole point.   Fans didn’t have Book 6 yet, and they were so desperate to read it that they started trying to extrapolate what would happen next based on “clues” from the previous five.    That’s like trying to figure out what Majin Buu looks like by watching the Androids Saga.   I guess some wiseguy would have guessed that he’d resemble #19, but that’d just be blind luck.  

And when you get down to it, this whole secret chapter business is really just a conspiracy.   This is literally how Qanon works.   Some anonymous jackass posted vague “hints” on an imageboard, and people went goofy trying to interpret them and figure out what would happen in the future.   They call it “research” because they spend a ton of time on this, but there’s no basis to any of it.    It took me a few minutes to figure out that you can spell “Muggle” with the words in “Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum”, but that’s not research and it doesn’t prove anything.   But all these guys keep looking for “Hilary Clinton goes to jail next week” and lo and behold that’s all they ever find.   

In the same vein, the gum wrapper thing was really a complaint disguised as a conspiracy, disguised as a “magical secret chapter”.   At least a few fans wanted to see more Neville in their Harry Potter books, they wanted Neville’s parents, or someone like them, to have cool spy adventures or whatever else.   The point is, they clearly weren’t getting what they wanted out of the printed works, but they didn’t want to turn against their Dear Beloved Author, so they started casting about for an alternative reality, one where J.K. Rowling wrote a cooler story and hid it in the pages of the one that actually went to press.    So instead of just saying “Hey, Order of the Phoenix was kind of a letdown, I hope there’s more ninjas in the next book,” they said “Rowling is a genius because I wanted ninjas and she’s definitely going to give them to me, I have the gum wrappers to prove it.”

The same thing happened all over again when the BBC Sherlock show took a turn for the nonsensical.    I don’t know from BBC Sherlock, but I watched the fascinating video critique by Hbomberguy, and it sounds like the show did tons of plot twists until it stopped making sense altogether in the fourth season.    If you skip to 1:09:00 in the video, you’ll hear about fan theories that suggested that season four was supposed to be crappy, as part of a secret meta-narrative plan that would be paid off in a secret, unannounced episode that would not only explain everything, but retroactively justify the crappy episodes that came before.    But it’s been a few years and it never came to pass, so I think we can call this myth busted. 

Most recently, I think we’ve all seen a lot of talk about the final season of Supernatural, where I guess Destiel sort of became canon but only one guy does the love confession and the other doesn’t respond.   But I guess he does say “I love you too”  in the Spanish dub, which means the English language version was edited for whatever reason.    It’s not exactly a secret episode, but the implication is that there’s more to this than what made it to the screen.    So the questions turn to what the screenplay said, what the writers and actors wanted to do, etc. etc.    My general impression is that SPN fans are a bit more used to crushing disappointment, so they’re not quite as delusional about this show being unquestionable genius, like Sherlock and Harry Potter.     Maybe this is an Anglophile thing?   Like, if you suck at something with a British accent, people will accept it more unconditionally?   

I had seen something on Twitter about how there should have been a secret Seinfeld episode in the 90′s.    Someone suggested it at the time, they tape a whole episode, then wait until 2020 to air it, because by then it would be worth a fortune.    But they didn’t do it, because it costs a lot of money to make a TV episode, and if you don’t air the show right away, you aren’t making that money back any time soon.    Yeah, you might recoup a fortune someday, but Seinfeld was making a ton of money then.    It exposes the fannish nature of the idea.    A fan would love to discover a cool secret chapter, but a content creator isn’t necessarily keen on making a cool thing and then hiding it where few people would find it.  

I thought about doing this myself recently.   Maybe Supernatural gave me the bug, but I thought “I’m writing this big-ass story, so what if I wrote me a secret chapter for it?   Wouldn’t that be cool?”     But no, it wouldn’t be cool, because it’d be the same work as writing a regular chapter, and the same stress I feel when I hold off on publishing it.    Except I’d just never publish it, I’d put it in some secret hole on the internet and hope that some superfan who might not even exist can decode whatever clues I leave.  

I mean, it’d be awesome if it got discovered and everyone loved it.    “Hey, I found this hidden chapter!   Mike’s done it again!”   And I could bask in the glory.   But what if no one finds it?  Then I just wasted my time, right?   I want people to read my work.   My monkey brain needs the sweet, sweet validation of those kudos and comments, folks.   Once I realized that, I understood why no one else would want to do a secret chapter either.    Easter eggs are one thing, but the bigger bonus features they put on DVDs were pretty easy to find, and with good reason.

I think that’s what made the Stanley Parable so appealing to play, because it teases you with the idea that you can “break” the game and find some extra content that you weren’t supposed to see, but as you go exploring all those hidden areas, it gradually becomes clear that this is just part of the game; you were meant to find all these things, and that’s why they were put here.      It’s hidden, but he secret aspect of it is just pretend.   

I suppose that what I like about games like TSP and Superliminal is the illusion of secrets more than the secrets themselves.    I like roaming through the hallways, having no idea what I might find ahead.    I kind of wish I could open all the doors, and not just the ones the game designers put stuff behind, but the reality is that there’s nothing on the other side.    I used a cheat code once  to explore the unused doors in TSP and it’s just a bright white field on the other side.   Interesting to look at, but not much of a reveal.   Honestly, the doors themselves are more appealing than anything that could lay behind them.  

And that’s probably what makes secrets so fun.   They could be almost anything, but once you open the present, the number of possibilities drops to one.   If they had ever made that Secret BBC Sherlock Episode, I doubt it would have lived up to expectations, but fans could amuse themselves by imagining what could have been in it.    In the end, though, things usually don’t justify the hype.  For every Undertaker debut at Survivor Series 1990, there’s a Gobbledygooker debut at Survivor Series 1990.   It’s impossible to manufacture a secret with a guaranteed payoff.   

[duvgaleni]

Ok first off I am SO sorry I have taken so long to get to this ask I had no energy between work and school. That said here comes the GN review. So I did not expect Elvis to vibe with me musically the way it did. If I have to pick a fave off the album it has to be Molly with Control coming in at a close second. I can't explain it but Molly really has unique designs on me. I really love the sound and style of music for this rec. Once again you deliver top shelf goods.

Side note: I took that quiz you reblogged even though I've never heard of the vorkosigan saga in my life and I got someone named Bel Thorne. Made me look up the series, which made me realize that I very much want this in my life, and now I'm wondering if you'd advise me as to which book I should start with? I asked the internet and got huge charts.

Eagerly awaiting your next recs,

MAB

P.S. thinking about making rugelach on a weekend off. Thoughts/advice?

Hey hi! So glad to hear from you! I was just thinking the other day “I miss MAB :(” but I didn’t want to rush you lol, I’ve also been super low energy lately so you’re in good company! As always, I’m so glad you liked it, this has been one of my really pandemic-defining albums, I’ve spent a truly Shocking amount of time sitting on the floor listening to this and painting since I discovered it maybe 10 months ago? I also didn’t really expect to vibe with it, I was off the indie-country-stylings train and the vocals threw me at first but it kinda got its hooks into me and i found myself just thinking about it all the time, and i listened and relistened and found more and more complex little bits and beautiful lyrics and realized it had wormed its way into my faves on accident, so good for it. Control’s also one of my real faves, the whole front half of this album is SO strong, Westside and Crying About The Planets took a minute for me to warm up to but are really some of my faves on the album now. I’m glad it spoke to you as much as it spoke to me!

ok SO let’s talk about the Vorkosigan Saga. These books are my favorite anything in the whole world, they’re my parents favorite books too so I really grew up with them, I’ve loved them all my life even when I was way too young to understand a lot of the concepts (I tried to read this Really Heavy one all about clones when i was V young and I didn’t know what a clone was, I thought it was just a fucked up baby brother, i was more right than I realized, so i put it down and Thank Fuck for that) and you should ABSOLUTELY read them. Bel Thorne was the first nonbinary character I ever saw (even though they are NOT handled well, these books show their age on a lot of lgbt stuff so heads up) and they’re so goddamn cool, they’re whip-smart and chock full of heart and they captain a space ship and I could go on Forever, I just named my new podcast character after them and I’m just thrilled about it. So as far as order goes, I Highly recommend starting with Cordelia’s Honor, which is a collection of the books Shards of Honor and Barrayar, which are prequels about the parents of the main characters of the main series. The main series starts with some truly superb fun manic semi-political space opera, but it’s really aged for the protagonist Miles, who’s 17 at the time. Cordelia’s Honor gives you a really great background on the universe you’re in, shows you Exactly how Miles got to be The Way That He Is, is the best god damn enemies-to-lovers you’ll ever find, CHUGS its respect women juice, is also fun but definitely heavier in tone than the main series begins. It’s really beautiful, very very human, and just SMART. Heads up, those books have some heavily implied sexual assault, suicide stuff, uhhhh Weird Mental Illness, and Weird Homophobia (though it’s portrayed to be in the wrong, again these books are very much a product of their time.) But they follow Miles’ parents, Cordelia Naismith and Aral Vorkosigan as they meet, fall in love on opposite sides of a war, eventually get married, and get sucked into some truly wild and Really Really Cool politics, and i Highly recommend you start there. Past that, my recommended reading order is pretty much chronological, you should get to Falling Free and Ethan of Athos at some point but like Shards of Honor - Barrayar - Warriors Apprentice - Vor Game - Cetaganda - Borders Of Infinity - Brothers In Arms - Mirror Dance - Memory - Komarr - Civil Campaign - Diplomatic Immunity - Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance - Cryoburn - Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen (bolded books are my personal favorites) is really the way to go. I know that’s an awful lot, but they’re really fast reads and they’re So Goddamn Good And Fun And Good, if you start them PLEASE let me know your thots as you read

Hoo ok that was a lot, thank you for bearing with me! My biggest advice re. rugelach is just have fun and be yourself with it, do whatever filling you want, pour love into the dough and you’ll have a good time. Sorry that’s not more technical, but if ur using the recipe i sent you (and i can post it again if u dont want to hunt for it) then honestly i think it’s gonna be fab no matter what (and honestly even if you dont do a super bindy filling and your jam leaks out and burns Who Give A Shit, burnt chocolate w raspberry or cherry jam is still pretty damn good), if you enjoy the process then that’s what matters!

[wallwriterstuff]

Only For A Night

Characters: Mammon and Asmodeus (Obey Me) because I'm a sucker for Mammon being a good big brother

Warnings: None, maybe a little angsty in places, a bit of self-doubt but nothing major. 

Words: 2609

Summary: Asmodeus is consumed by lust, but it doesn’t always mean what people think it does. While preparing for work, Asmo reflects on what it really means to be the Avatar of Lust, and just how tired of it he is. 

Avatar.

Noun.

Meaning – an incarnation, embodiment, or manifestation of a person or an idea.

 Lust.

Noun.

Meaning – strong desire.

Verb.

Meaning – to have a strong desire for a person or thing.

 So many people misunderstood that word. Lust had been linked to sex since time immemorial and Asmodeus had been one of many in a long line of souls to fall prey to the misconceptions that word carried with it. He heaved a sigh, cupping his hand to bring some of the warm water up and over his bicep. Red eyes glowed as they watched the suds fall from his skin, nose twitching to inhale the scent of jasmine that was left behind - he’d have to pander to yet more of those ill-informed buffoons in just a few hours and he wasn’t honestly ready to play the part today. The moment he finished the shoot he’d be expected to attend The Fall with his entourage, to endure succubi crawling all over him and demons flocking from every corner of the club just to attach their name to his, if only for the night.

He was so tired of it.

Everybody thought the Avatar of Lust was all about sex, driven by pleasure and obsessed with appearance. To the outside world Asmo was as shallow as a kiddie pool, and nobody ever took him seriously enough to see otherwise. Well, everyone except his brothers. They were always the ones to see past the front he put up, remembered there was more underneath that mattered. He was sure there was going to be dozens of demons vying for his attention tonight, their fingers trailing his skin and their lips by his ear whispering things that made his skin crawl and his desire flare. The thought was enough to make him nauseous. He didn’t want that tonight. He wanted to sit with Satan perhaps, read a good book and exchange views on it. Maybe Mammon needed him to do his accounts again with him? Figure out how far in the red he was?

Asmo took a deep breath and sank under the water, relishing in the silence and stillness the water offered. Demons were always tempted by one sin or another, but the pull was strongest when it was a sin they specialised in. How was Asmo supposed to convince anyone he was as three dimensional as any of his brothers when the very sin he embodied set him up to fail every time? You could lust for more than just somebody’s body. You could lust for the finest wines and the best clothes, or maybe you strongly desired to travel and feel the sense of wonder that came with it. Some people lusted for attention and craved to be at the centre of it all, while others lusted for the quite seclusion of a life lived far from people, surrounded by nature and all it’s beauty. The problem was, people only ever seemed to associate lust with sex, so Asmo was bombarded with demons who wanted to seduce him and taste the pleasure he could offer.

How the hell was he supposed to say no when they appealed to the very sin he embodied? Lust was his greatest temptation in whatever form it came in and it had taken him centuries to temper his desires to the point where it was possible for him to go out and about without having a meltdown. Lust wasn’t like pride or greed. Arguably, himself, Belphie and Levi had suffered the most when it came to adapting to their sins, struggling to fight something internal that wasn’t a physical habit. Asmo felt his lungs start to burn and he surfaced with a gasp, blindly reaching for the face cloth he’d left on the side to wipe the water from his eyes.

He could remember the day they’d first come back to the House of Lamentation, the utter disgust he’d felt at seeing his room and knowing it was not good enough for him while simultaneously disgusted with himself for turning his nose up at someone’s charity towards him. He had been a good angel once, one that was admired and adored for his beauty and his generosity. Nothing was ever too much for Asmodeus to help with and when he became a demon he was supposed to just…take? It felt backward, abnormal, and that was without the constant strong desire pulling him in every which direction the minute he stepped out of their front door.

The feeling was so strong it had moved his body of its own accord. Trying to ignore his desire to go into certain shops, to smell specific flowers, to chase certain figures that were pleasing to the eye…that had felt like a giant magnet had been trying to tear his skin off whenever he tried to turn his back on the temptations. It was physically painful to avoid what he wanted, because he wanted it more badly than anything else in the Devildom, felt he might actually die if he didn’t have it. He leaned his head back, huffing slightly. All of this worry wasn’t going to do his skin any good. He’d get wrinkles, or worse, acne. The very thought made him shiver and he pushed himself out of the water to begin drying off. The sound of the water rushing down the plughole only served to heighten his anxiety, every little drop rushing away feeling like sand dripping through the hourglass, counting down to the inevitable photoshoot that would become a night on the town.

The photoshoot wasn’t something he honestly minded. He had always been adored and admired, he had never had any problem with grabbing attention and that hadn’t changed after the fall, but the Celestial Realm had admired him for the things he did for them. What could he do for the Devildom? His talents had been diminished when his Celestial powers were lost, leaving him with virtually nothing to offer the Devildom, nothing except his body. It was Mammon who had come up with the idea first to go into modelling, calling it a sure shot to make money. It filled his pockets nicely enough to suit his purpose but it gave Asmo the solution he needed to. It filled his need to give into his lust for attention, he wanted eyes on him and this was the perfect way to achieve that, but it also gave him a way to give back. He knew he was good looking, and people liked looking at beautiful things. He was a treat for the eyes, and the attention he got made him thrive, spurred him to do it more. His beauty routine and the career it spawned had quite frankly saved him.

There was always a theme to work with as seasons faded in and out and fashion designers rose to fame and fell again, so it curbed his spending habits just a little by forcing him to desire only what was fashionable in the moment to his fans. His desire to be beautiful had left him the face of many different beauty products, simultaneously satisfying his desire to have his face everywhere and to be raking in the kind of money you could only make as an influencer at the top of their game. All that money meant he could satisfy his urge to be surrounded by luxury, hence the opulent rooms he’d designed for himself. No, his beauty routine, his photoshoots, his design career even, they all satisfied his urges and kept him sane, but the social side of his life in the spotlight was draining to say the least. Sitting in his robe, Asmo stared at his reflection, dull red eyes staring back at him through damp, limp hair. He looked nothing like the Asmodeus people expected to see but the thought of the long night ahead was truly harrowing today.

It was the anniversary of their fall from grace after all.

A knock on his door made him perk in his seat but his eyes didn’t stray from the mirrors surrounding him.

“Come in?” he called out. Mammon was the last person he’d expected to see at his door today of all days, yet still there he stood, tall and lean with his shades on. He sauntered over with such confidence, a bright smile on his face as he slapped a stack of money on the tabletop beside Asmo’s makeup bag.

“Here ya go Asmo, everything I owe ya!” he was absolutely radiating pride, so much so Asmo blinked a few times to see if his eyes were mistaking him and it was actually Lucifer who had walked in instead. He didn’t bother to check the stack of notes, knowing his brother always came up good when he finally got around to paying him back.

Mostly.

Sometimes.

Honestly, today he was just too tired to check.

“Thanks, Mammon.” He murmured, reaching for his spray. He’d already used his favourite hair mask, now it was time to whip out the old heat-protector spray and his blow dryer. Mammon raised an eyebrow at him as the roar of the little motor echoed around the room, Asmo taking his time to carefully brush out each strand to get it dry and just the right kind of bouncy. He didn’t need his hair falling flat before his big shoot. Mammon didn’t leave, watching him go through the motions robotically as he put on his headband to start applying his make-up.

“Say, Asmo? You er, you feelin’ okay?” Mammon asked him. He’d taken off his shades now, blue and yellow eyes shining with concern. Asmo spared him the briefest glance in the mirror, scowling as he applied his foundation.

“Mammon! I know I’m not looking my best right now but I am still glowing thank you!” he scolded. Mammon sighed, head shaking.

“I didn’t mean that! You’re…well you look like you usually do I guess?” he floundered for a moment, making Asmo beam at him amusedly.

“And what might that look like?” he purred, resting his chin on his hand as he stared at his brother through the mirror. Mammon jumped, the weight of his stare proving too much. Asmo just couldn’t help himself, not when Mammon was so easy to fluster. Only Levi could outrank Mammon when it came to who blushed the quickest. Mammon folded his arms, weight rolling from hip to hip as he fidgeted.

“Ah forget it will ya? I was tryna be nice but if you’re gonna be like that…I just thought you might wanna talk about something.” He grumbled, turning on his heel to leave. Asmo’s smile fell slowly, watching Mammon get further and further away from him. His brother, the Avatar of Greed of all people, was concerned enough for his welfare to ask about him? How many people could he say that for?

“Mammon.” His name had escaped his lips before he could really think about, his hands falling into his lap as he ducked his gaze. “Maybe I do want to talk about it.” He said quietly. Mammon paused at the doorway, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly before he trundled back over and took a seat on the raised edge of his bath.

“Sure! Sure ya can talk to me! I’m the GREAT Mammon after all, great at listening. I can do that.” Mammon rambled, almost as if he was trying to give himself a pep talk. Asmo briefly questioned the sanity of his choice before turning fully on his stool and leaning back against the counter behind him with a sigh.

“I’m just so tired.” He complained. Mammon squinted, looking awfully constipated as he nodded for him to continue. Asmo realised it was a look he’d never seen before on Mammon’s face. Concentration.

“Tired of what?” Mammon prompted.

“Of people.” Asmo huffed, “I’m tired of people, Mammon. I’m tired of them throwing themselves at me and whispering all that filthy nonsense like they do. I want to just do my photoshoot and let that be that.” Mammon blinked at him, slowly processing what he had said. Not for the first time, Asmo started to second guess his choice.

“So…you don’t want to go to the after party and have a bunch of succubi throwing themselves at you?” he asked slowly, looking at him like he didn’t quite believe him. Sighing in annoyance he turned back to his mirror and reached for his beauty blender.

“I know I am incredible company Mammon but that doesn’t mean I always want to be somebody’s arm candy for the night. I’m capable of more, you know? I designed an entire fall collection once but does anybody talk about that? No! It’s all about the length of my-“

Asmo paused, searching his dull red eyes for an honest answer.

“Yeah yeah we get it!” Mammon was quick to cut him off, hands fluttering as his wide eyes looked anywhere but Asmo for a second. The Avatar of Lust was carefully starting to apply the contour lines to his face now, his eyes rolling to his older brother briefly before focusing back on his reflection. Mammon was very quiet for a while before he quietly asked,

“Is it that bad?”

“Yes.” He said softly, “If someone waved a stack of money in your face, would you refuse it?”

“Of course not!” Mammon’s answer was immediate, and then he flinched a bit. “It’d be impossible not to.” He admitted quietly, brows furrowing. Asmo knew he understood then, a deep sigh escaping him as he nodded.

“Exactly, I feel the same way when people throw themselves at me. Sometimes I really don’t want to but…it’s impossible to refuse the temptation.” He heard the flat note in his voice and tried to smile, but there was no warmth or mirth there at all. He didn’t feel glamorous at all and that was preventing him from looking the part, but he couldn’t let his fans down on this shoot! His routine and his sanity depended on it!

“Perhaps-“Mammon pushed to his feet and pushed his hands down deep into his pockets, looking bashful, “-I mean maybe I could come with ya and, well we could go get dinner or something after? Give you an excuse not to go yanno?” Asmo blinked, staring at his older brother in surprise. Had Mammon actually had a smart idea for once? It could work, if they thought he had plans with his brother. Mammon was another big name, someone who regularly had cameras on him, they’d get lots of attention to fulfil Asmo’s need for it without any of the interruptions – nobody was stupid enough to approach Two of the Seven Demon Lords while they were clearly on a private outing. Mammon however was already backtracking, clearly panicking he’d said the wrong thing, but Asmo was grinning at him now, his smile dazzling as it always had to be, should be.

“That’s a perfect idea!” he laughed, “Oh Mammon thank you! However can I repay you?”

“Pay for dinner.” Mammon said instantly, already batting away the hands reaching for him. Asmo giggled, feeling lighter somehow now.

“Of course!” Asmo wiggled the stack of cash Mammon had just paid him back with, “Ristorante Six it is!” Mammon’s smile slowly grew, head nodding enthusiastically. Asmo settled back into his makeup routine with renewed vigour. He’d need to look his best after all, for his big dinner date with Mammon. His big brother had unknowingly saved him from a fate worse than death tonight, and he was more than grateful, even if his fate had been changed only for one night.

[birdwonder]

|| the second part of this request ! https://birdwonder.tumblr.com/post/189871809395/not-sure-if-youll-allow-this-or-not-but-ill-try

|| i dont feel as tho i made Senku in character or had a chance to really show his character bc i had to rush this before Christmas ended since i saw the request midday ! and it only makes sense to post it on Christmas ! — if only i had my computer, typing would be so much easier :,)

Senku Ishigami | Christmas Tree Decorating

Christmas wasn’t really a thing to the now announced Kingdom of Science as the ideas of Christianity and Paganism weren’t known to them, so the only two who were truly aware of it were you and Senku. You were in love with the holiday and cherished it every yesr while on the other hand it didn’t seem Senku cared for it at all.

‘We don’t have time to celebrate it, [F/N], we have so much to do. The others can learn about it next year.’

That’s what Senku had told you when you suggested celebrating the holiday, and it broke your heart. It was a family tradition in your home to decorate the tree and have a hearty meal before opening presents, something you knew Senku was aware of, and yet he was still denying your wish to appreciate the holiday. It was only for one day too! The Kingdom of Science could survive a day without all the hassle of needing to make technology or some other complicated thing.

Whatever, you didn’t need him!

You went out of your way to kindly ask Kaseki to create a few glass baubles, even though he was completely confused by their use, and borrowed some rope from the village to thin it into thread to tie onto a tree you asked one of the village men to cut down and carry for you.

As soon as the tree was set up beside the lab, you got to work on decorating it. You were a little disappointed that the baubles couldn’t be colourful due to lack of paint, but you were grateful regardless, knowing that there was always next year to make things look better. Besides, the memory of decorating the tree with your loved ones and enjoying yourself mattered more than the actual appearance, even if you wished Senku was there to join you at least.

Sighing, you shook your head. You didn’t need him! You were having fun all by yourself, as much of a lie that was.

You had finished quickly since the amount of baubles you owned were limited and you didn’t want to ask for more or anything else from Kaseki, especially when he was already working hard for more important causes. Really though, it didn’t look too bad! It wasn’t like you couldn’t sit by it with a warm, toasty fire with your new friends and teach them some carols. With all your hear, you really hoped they would join you or else Christmas would feel like a complete bust.

Still, you wished there was one more thing you could add to it - a tree topper. It didn’t matter what it was; a star, an angel, a bow or even something strange like a pig, you just really wanted a final piece to make the tree a Christmas tree. Sadly, you didn’t have the skills to make anything of the sort, or even the resources.

“Not too shabby. Kind of on the dull side but you really made something of it,” a voice spoke from behind you, alerting you instantly. You tried to turn around to find the source yet was annoyingly stopped by a hand holding onto your waist from behind. Luckily for you, the head of the source of the backhanded compliment peaked over from your shoulder, revealing Senku’s smirk and red eyes.

“Senku? What are you doing here?” You raised a brow, huffing a little with an unintentionally salty attitude. It was a little late for him to come join you and if he was here to remind you how pointless this was well... You’d just shut him up!

The hand on your waist began to tighten it’s grip, reminding you of it’s placement whilst making your breath catch in your throat. It seemed a little forward for someone like the science geek, someone who didn’t seem to show much interest in anyone unless their name was ‘science.’

“H- Hey! What are you trying to do here?!” You could only pray that it wasn’t obvious you were taken back by Senku’s movements, though you doubted it seeing as Senku was not only the smartest man in the village, but maybe even the whole world. Before and after the petrifying incident.

Senku raised a brow as though he wasn’t sure what you meant however, talking as though the meaning behind his actions was obvious. “Can’t you tell? I’m putting the star on the tree.”

‘Huh, star?’ You echoed in your head, now looking as unsure as your science fanatic friend. You hadn’t made a star, and there was no replacement for one either lying around so what was he going on about?

Then, something in your brain pieced everything together. His hand, your waist...

“Senku! That’s so- wow. I didn’t expect something like that from you.” Were you blushing? You think you were. Oh god, oh god. This was so sudden. You hadn’t expected something so sweet from him at all honestly, not that it wasn’t appreciated. Did he see you like that then? As in, more than a friend? This was really making your head spin.

Your silence and awkward expression only made Senku more confused, which he hated to admit to himself. Stepping to the side, his hand moved away from your waist and his whole body was revealed to you, including his other hand that held a glass star in his hand, a small snowflake design engraved into it.

This made your mistake dawn upon you. ‘Oh! He meant a literal star this whole time. Haha, whoops.’

“Ah, sorry! I thought you had meant something else! I’m so sorry, I don’t know what was going on in my head!” You blurted out, frantically waving your hands around until Senku placed a hand onto your shoulder so your whole body would hit pause.

“Don’t worry about it. I admittedly don’t really know what you thought I meant but I’m sure we can forget about it,” Senku assured, a small smile tugging on his lips. You really did have to appreciate his kindness, it was so unfair for you not to.

The moody attitude you had previously faded away and you completely forgot about the reason behind it too. “Anyways, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that old man Kaseki and I used the power of science to make a star for your Christmas tree! We didn’t have the time to make paint so hopefully this is enough, it fits your glass decoration theme you got going at least.”

The blond held up the star into the sky like he was a video game character who had obtained a special item, a prideful grin stretching across his face as your eyes widened at the sight of it. The fact he had gone out of his busy way to make you one was so sweet, especially when he was so against spending any time on Christmas. Tears were close to spilling from your eyes and you leapt forwards to pull Senku into a tight hug, crying out a thousand ‘thank you’s.

“Thank you so much, Senku! I really thought you were going to leave me all alone to spend Christmas this year or at least distance yourself from the group when I invited them! I’m so sorry I doubted you!” Your tight hug almost made Senku wheeze, a small rub on your back showing his return of a hug.

The moment you let go, he returned to his nonchalant mannerisms and scratched his cheek while he spoke, acting as though he hadn’t almost been killed by a suffocating hug, “hehe, it’s really no big deal. We all worked hard this year so I thought a break would be perfect for them all, and I’m sure teaching them about Christmas would be pretty exciting.”

You nodded in agreement to that and jumped up, bouncing up with maxed out energy. “Yeah, you’re right! We can sing songs, roast marshmallows, give gifts, sit by the tree,” your own words then reminded you the whole reason as to why Senku had appeared, cursing yourself for forgetting. “The star, we haven’t put it up yet!”

“Oh right,” Senku mused, handing the decoration over which you took by placing your hand over his, meaning that he couldn’t move his hand away. He was about to question your actions when you used your free hand to pull him closer, surprising him momentarily while you began to lead both of your hands to the top of the tree. “If the star goes up, we should both do it,” you explained, wanting to show that you were not only grateful for the star but also your friendship entirely. After all, without Senku you wouldn’t have woken up from petrification and you wouldn’t have had all the fun with your new friends either.

“Sounds fine to me,” he agreed, the two of you content with fingers interlocking as you both reached up to finish off the minimalistic yet treasured tree.

[wordlessbabbling]

Gun Metal and Daisies (Thomas Shelby)- Chapter 25

“This is Karma”

Masterlist

If we want the rewards of being loved, we have submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Dorothy and Thomas both woke up a number of times during the early hours of the morning.

They thought that maybe they had about three hours sleep, put together that is.

The first time; Dorothy woke up, her head jutted up and almost smacked her fore head on Thomas' chin.

He did still wake up anyway but no one was hurt in the process at least.

Dorothy peered around the room and once again saw Matilda shaking again. "Oh, poor girl" she whispered solemnly. It took a moment for Thomas to realise that the only way she could go help Tilda was if he let go of Dorothy's torso, but he got there eventually.

As Dorothy crawled over to Matilda's flu-induced fever dream fit, Thomas relaxed his head back down on the floor and inhaled deeply. After a moment of almost drifting off back to sleep, Thomas heard gurgles and small choked crying sounds coming from the small kids.

"Oh god. Is this what having kids is like?" Thomas muttered as he dragged his sleep worn body off the hard ground. He leaned over to Tammy's box and took the sniffling girl in his arms. He leant back against the brick wall, bouncing the crying girl gently, who quickly stopped fussing and settled again.

Thomas was relieved that her crying hadn't woken up the other kids, otherwise he'd be in an even deeper mess than before.

Thomas rolled his head to the side and gazed his half open eyes on Dorothy who had now settled close to Matilda. The girl had stopped shaking now with the added warmth.

The moment the two shared was short, but Thomas treasured the feeling, deeply worried he might never get the chance to lie with her ever again.

——

When sunrise came, Thomas only then realised that he had fallen asleep, the baby still tight in his arms. He placed the sleeping girl back in the box she usually resided in and took a step back, surveying the scene.

"How the fuck did I get here?" Thomas almost laughed at how his day and night had so drastically changed.

Soon enough, Dorothy started stirring as she lifted her head up slowly. Her eyes widened at the stiff pain in her neck. She truly did wonder how these kids slept on the floors and still walk the next day.

She lifted the arm Matilda had subconsciously wrapped around her body off her. Dorothy carefully tried to stand up without making too much noise, but the cracking of joints and her back felt louder than gunshots.

Dorothy half-stumbled, half-walked in Thomas' direction who had an indifferent morning face on.

Without any words she leaned her head on Thomas' chest to which he responded by wrapping his arms around her sleepy frame. Dorothy hummed in content, "mornin'" she nuzzled her nose further in to his chest.

"Mornin' Bons." He rasped back quietly.

The two stood in silence for a few more moments until Dorothy spoke up, "Ms. P is gonna kill me for not coming back after my break." She giggled quietly which Thomas cracked a smile to.

"Nah. Don't worry 'bout her... She'll get over it. Potentially by firing you, we'll find out." Thomas rested his cheek on the top of her head.

Dorothy whined at the thought of her getting fired. She didn't know what she would do if she got fired. She wondered what would happen to her family.

——

Slowly but surely, the world woke up. The small kids started to shift and soon everyone but Tammy and Matilda were up. The rain had stopped, luckily, so the kids weren't confined to the sickly room.

Soon enough, Matilda woke up and her fever had gone down tremendously. Though she was still ill and tired, she'd probably be up on her feet again for tomorrow.

Thomas and Dorothy sat for a few minutes, just trying to re-collect themselves as they processed the night they had. Soon enough they realised it was probably best for them to leave.

When the two bid goodbye to the children, both parties were downtrodden and upset at the thought of parting ways, to which Dorothy tried to reason that they'll see each other soon on Saturday.

As the two friends walked down the streets of Small Heath, they were silent but close.

The rest of the city hadn't quite woken up yet, so Dorothy kept Thomas close and held his hand as they seemingly drifted through the morning light.

Thomas had woken up, even though his back was stiff; he was back on his feet shortly enough.

Dorothy, on the other hand, was still tired and groggy. Her face was quaint and drawn. She neglected to tell Thomas that she left Matilda her coat as the girl had no other layers to stay warm with.

Thomas, very quickly, picked up on this and shifted his coat on her shoulders without so much as a word.

She worried slightly for Thomas in the sense it was quite cold in the morning chill, and took to shuffling close to him, which he responded with wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

They arrived at the bakery and Dorothy turned to face Thomas, "thanks for helping out, I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would have done if I had a sick girl and a crying baby." She had a small smile on her face.

Thomas brushed her hair down a bit with his fingers, "it's no problem. Those little ones are more family than anything." He smiled down at her.

His words turned her small smile into a big grin which looked like it would rip her cheeks if it got any bigger "really? I'm so glad you said that. They honestly think you're great. Leah thinks you're like the coolest 'prince' ever." She held up her hands as quotation marks.

Thomas laughed at being called anything close to a prince. He snaked his arms around Dorothy's waist and pulled her closer to his chest.

Dorothy didn't mention the other words Leah said that morning, stating that Dorothy and Thomas were each other's princess and prince. The words made her eyes widen and stutter as she denied the whole concept completely.

The two parted ways, Thomas leaving with a promise that he'd be back by the time she was off again and Dorothy turning away reminding him that she'll always be where he can find her.

——

The morning was slow for Dorothy. Too slow. Her movements felt sluggish and lethargic. Her body feeling heavy with a weight she didn't carry.

Dorothy pinned it down to a lack of sleep and a lack of food. That would make sense. But she held on all the same, deciding it was no good to go fainting and falling before Thomas got there AT LEAST.

When Ms. P entered the bakery, she opened her mouth and Dorothy expected an earful for ditching work, but instead all she got was an elongated silence and a quiet greeting.

Dorothy felt like a sloth that she'd read about in her old books. Moving so slowly, the human eye might miss it. Ms. P kept rushing around her, doing jobs she could do fine by herself, but instead telling Dorothy to grab a drink of water and just stock the shelves out back.

By the time Dorothy's lunch break rolled around, she found that her usual half an hour job of stocking shelves turned into an hour long workout that was yet to be completed.

She felt horribly cold and kept Thomas' coat on that she unintentionally kept. She snuggled into the fabric when she took a breather to sit down on a stool. The coat smelled of cigarettes, whiskey, musk and coal. Dorothy quite liked the smell. It comforted her when she sighed and closed her eyes.

Maybe Dorothy got too comfortable though, because sooner or later she found herself dozing off, her head tipped forward slowly until the sound of someone clearing their throat made her head shoot up.

"Ahm- Sorry! SORRY, Ms. P! I-." Dorothy's flustered rambles were interrupted by the frame of one tall Shelby man. A small amused smirk on his face as he caught her in the act of sleeping on the job.

"Hello Bubs..." Dorothy yawned quietly, trying to gather he senses.

Without another word, Thomas walked to where she was perched on the high stool.

He, in one very swift movement, gathered Dorothy in his arms, strutted to where his designated chair was and plopped down in it with Dorothy, still in his arms, being lowered on to his lap.

Maybe if Dorothy was in a better frame of mind, she would have gotten hot and flustered; and made an excuse to get up. But instead, she leaned into the crook of his neck, breathing in his musky scent.

By these actions alone, Thomas knew that something was up. His suspicions were only confirmed when he heard a wheezing sound in his ear as Dorothy exhaled slowly.

He brought his head away from hers to get a better look, he saw her cheeks were flushed and her forehead was crinkled in discomfort.

Now Thomas understood.

Dorothy had gotten sick.

Of course she had. For most of the night she laid with a girl so sick, he was surprised she missed deaths knocking; and Dorothy had never had a good sickness tolerance.

"This is karma, y'know?"

——

Oooh. Do I have an obsession with sick fics? Maybe I do. Don't judge me.

All the tropes in this book are overused and cliche, but you've read this far so you can't judge me.

Thanks for the love.

Feedback and comments are wanted.

See ya next time!